The Comet - June 2021

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

JAIME’S TATTOO GARDEN

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

everything will be fine

THIS

29

editor: Ron Evans

publishing assistant: Sarah Sims

contributors: Cory Calhoun, Sarah Sims, Kristen Acesta, Dan McConnell Nick Carlo, Holly Thorpe, Skylar Hansford, Lincoln Nere, Lindsay Briedenthal, Christopher F. Hart

COMET HEADQUARTERS

Greetings from Comet Headquarters! For the bulk of this issue, headquarters was a table at Fire in Pybus Market whilst downing far too many Bootjacks. It’s been nice to be back down at the market which is always one of my favorite places to write and edit. Things are picking up as the vaccines are kicking in and the restrictions continue to be lifted.

Comet co-founder Holly Thorpe and I even got to take in some LIVE theatre in May thanks to Full Circle Theatre Co. The small troupe put on a showing of three short plays by Samuel Beckett at the Snowy Owl Theatre. The show, which was streamed by Icicle Creek Center for the Arts, was not open to the public but a few friends and family members were allowed to be present. It was a fantastic feeling to be in a room with real performers again, and Full Circle always astounds me with what they can pull off with such a stripped down approach. No-frills, just simple but clever and effective stage production, engaging performances and maybe a banana or two is all it takes for them to wow a room.

Well, this is a packed little issue featuring no less than 10 contributors! I’ve enjoyed seeing what our writers bring us each month as it’s always as much of a surprise to me as for you.

June is Pride month of course, so I reached out to Wenatchee Pride and said they had space to do whatever they wanted for this issue. What we got back was incredibly moving and heavy and I hope you’ll take the time to read those pages and listen to these tales of struggle, self-awakening and empowerment. There is courage in the anger and the sadness, and that’s what truly resonates.

We are rapidly approaching our first ever Summertime Apple Blossom event and I’m excited to drink some cold ones in the beer garden at the park listening to some live locally grown tunes with friends. Something that I swear I will never take for granted ever again. Until I do. We are humans after all.

I hope to run into some of you (preferably vaccinated but we all know some of y’all are filthy liars!) at the events, down at the market, or wherever really. It’s time to get back into the ‘being around people’ mode. My pants no longer stretch, my top clothes no longer tell lies about what the bottoms are up to, my Zoom apps are all late on their updates and I’m no longer settling for delivery drivers showing up with Tartar sauce when I asked for Vegenaise.

It’s time. It’s time to go back out into the world. To live again. To laugh with friends again. And to go fetch our own special brand of mayonnaise. We got this. We can do this.

Right?

Happy Trails, Ron Evans Editor of The Comet

“I forgot my opera glasses!” Ron and Holly enjoying real LIVE theatre at the Snowy Owl.

Crosswords & more made exclusively for The Comet

"UP FOR SOME FUN"

ACROSS

1. Bull breed named for a Hindugod

7. Taxing people?

10. Like truth, at times

15. Former CBS News This Morning host Charles

16. Letter fromGreece?

17. Horned charger, briefly

18. Pizza-cooking appliances

20. Complex unit 21. Feminine suffix

22. Syria's capital 24. Peppy 27. Stored, as cremated remains 29. Laughter syllable 30. It's two countries to the east of 22-Across

45. Cleaner named for a Trojan war hero 46. Dash gauge, briefly

___ apso (dog)

It's flanked by gutters

Kind of print, briefly

'83 Streisand film with the song "Papa, Can You Hear Me?"

They may be fine

Balm ingredient

DOWN

1. The Red Sox, on scoreboards

2. Queue after Q

3. "A long time ___ ..." 4. General Mills cereal 5. Big name in faucets 6. Hunk 7. Tip of Manhattan?

8. Time off 9. Women's rights activist B. Anthony

Video-game parlor 11. Word before asking or next 12. Sparrow relative 13. Excessive

39. Bit of filming

43 Mambo king Puente

44. Type of acid (aka vitamin B) found in veggies

73. Cellular stuff

74. Release, as farm animals

75. Afternoon service

76. It may be easily bruised

77. Op-ed piece

Where folks have "had it," idiomatically

33. WWII POW camp

35. Hippie-ish, fashion-wise

37. Heroine of Pearl

Solving

CAMERA STINGER FIBER

(1 per word): __ __

anagrammed words: _____ _____

word anagrammed from removed letters:

Buck's "The Good Earth" 49. Drink from a dish

Earth"

38. Shopper's aid

40. Cracked

41. German philosopher Emmanuel

42. They've split

55. Hard to understand

58. Scoring 100% on

59. Chinese gambling mecca

60. By and bounds

61. Befuddled

66. Stocking banes

67. HIV-fighting drug

68. Born, in bios

69. "La-la" lead-in

70. Amount past due?

SOLUTIONS TO LAST EDITION'S META CROSSWORD PRIZE CONTEST

The meta answer is BOEING (Hint: Find a 6-letter American company).

The puzzle's title is "Counting by Threes." Does this mean you need to literally count by threes ("3, 6, 9...") to solve this thing? Nope! Here, "counting" refers to "counting up," as in totaling or adding up, while "threes" refers to groups of 3 letters-specifically, Roman numerals--that get added up.

WhichRomannumerals? 4 ofthepuzzle'slongestanswers (red in the grid at right) eachcontain a different3-letterRoman numeral Here theyare,with their cardinalnumber values:

20A. NETFLIXQUEUES (contains LIX, or 59)

34A. PELVISES (contains LVI, or 56)

42A. HANDCLAP (contains DCL, or 650)

58A. TAXIINGTOGATE (contains XII, or 12)

Addthosenumbers up: 59+56+650+12. Youget 777, the name ofa notablejet airlinermadeby BOEING, a 6-letter American companyandthe puzzle'smeta answer. No winners for May. Thanks for playing & good luck next time!

OBOE BULLSEYE NETFLIXQUEUES

SOLUTIONS TO LAST EDITION'SANACROSTIC

ANSWERS: I've, mobile, argue, nil. QUOTE: I believe in glamour. QUOTE'S AUTHOR: Iman (formed by answers' first letters)

I CRAVE FEEDBACK! Thoughts? Suggestions? Lemme have it. CSCXWORDS@GMAIL.COM

FEATURING: @belladonna_moon

Favorite Artist: My dearest grandfather is my favorite artist. He was a creator of all sorts ranging between oil painting, writing and photography. He captured life in a raw form, inspired by the ugly in the world people ignore. He’s been my biggest inspiration in my art journey.

Favorite Band: I have very eclectic music taste and turn to different bands for different moods but I lean on most, La Dispute and Fleetwood Mac.

Favorite Movie: Forever has been Pulp Fiction

Favorite Book: I do not have a favorite book unfortunately, there are too many great creations to choose from.

Favorite Quote: I resonate most with a quote by the infamous Hunter S. Thompson “too weird to live, too rare to die.”

Dream Collaborator: David Brewster, the genius behind kaleidoscopes.

Item You Can’t Live Without: There are many things I cannot live without, any item or material possession is not of my concern. It’s the love and creativity that surrounds me that I cannot live without. And chaos of course.

Favorite Destination: the destinations that find me while I’m lost are my favorite places to be.

every imagined feast

wanting is cruel a throbbing liquid hunger behind every closed door an imagined feast bodily bounty lean cut of

By Mery Smith

tender hand behind every closed door an imagined feast plate of slow death delicious undress gnawing to an end

Dairy Queen

By Mery Smith

A Blizzard not a metaphor

the hot eats and cool treats of my soft serve

Starfish corpse

By anonymous

I’m your Dairy Queen

A cherry lost not ironic

I gave it up in the room at your parents’ house

A Value Meal not a pun unbuckled driving the highway home slowly tasting leftovers

We stick our fingers into each other like horny bowling alley employees like we have the keys and the authority turn the neon sign on and off poorly lit authority looks good on you we mash on each other for an hour we can go longer like that when you’re buzzed the potato chip bag that had held our attention slides off our bed like a discarded prop I take center stage now, I’m the star climb on top like I have seen in movies act like a deer/act like a vixen but you flip the script you find the switch touch the spot in me we barely know and now I’m not acting all animal all instinct

I sense danger I am danger

I must have all of what you are so generously serving

If you’d like to see your words in print, send your writing submissions to thecometmagazine@gmail.com with “comet tales” in the subject bar.

Lips lap up puddles of you until we are both empty we are nothing more than a starfish corpse look at my strong arms all used up

BY HOLLY THORPE

By writers, for writers: Write on the River

“Write on the River is dedicated to nurturing and inspiring local writers, whether in fiction, nonfiction, or poetry. We support aims for traditional and indie publishing and local sharing of the written word.”

Hi! I’m Holly. And that’s the Write on the River (WOTR) mission statement. WOTR is a Wenatchee-based non-profit that serves writers throughout North Central Washington. Writers like me! And maybe writers like you, too. This is the first of a monthly column in The Comet Magazine sharing stories and events from WOTR. This column will be written by board members like myself. We’re excited to share what we have going on with you. We bring speakers from all over the country to speak to our members. We also host open mics and networking events for locals. Maybe you’ve come to one of our Four Minutes of Fame open mic events. We have readers from every genre and walk of life share their work: fiction,

nonfiction and memoirs; published authors, authors hoping to publish and hobbyists.

We host two writers’ contests every year. One for regional high school students and one for adult writers. We offer critiques and cash prizes for our winners. This year’s high school competition winners are currently listed on the website at writeontheriver.org.

We also offer workshops and webinars to WOTR members and the public. Subjects include everything from publishing and promotion tips, advice for dialogue, world building and character development, as well as memoir and poetry writing. These presentations let writers at all points along their writing journey connect and help each other work toward their goals.

I’m happy to report that our June workshop will be with me! This is a great opportunity to get a taste of what we do. My workshop is designed to be approachable, hands-on and fun.

June: Poetry for Everyone with Holly Thorpe

Saturday, June 25, 9-10:30 AM Register at writeontheriver.org

About the workshop...

This virtual workshop is a casual introduction to writing poetry for pleasure.

Poetry can be a great tool for telling stories, preserving history, expressing feelings or just scratching that creative itch with nothing but a pen and paper. This workshop is friendly, hands-on and designed for beginners but open to those at any skill level. Write and edit your own poetry and talk shop with good company.

About the presenter...

Holly Thorpe is a writer and poetry MFA candidate at Eastern Washington University. Holly currently serves as Vice President of the WOTR board. She is also a freelance journalist and has written for newspapers and magazines throughout the state, including the Wenatchee World, Foothills Magazine, the Wenatchee Valley Business World and The Comet Magazine. She shares her home with her partner, a dog, two cats, a handful of chickens and reptiles and too many houseplants.

Coming up next...

Book Promotion for Indies (and tips for

traditional routes)

Saturday, July 24, 10:00 am to noon

Presented by Anthea Sharp, best-selling author of the award-winning Feyland series. Sharp now makes her home in the Pacific Northwest, where she writes, hangs out in virtual worlds and plays the fiddle with her Celtic band Fiddlehead. Stay tuned for our feature on Anthea and her workshop in the July issue of The Comet Magazine.

WOTR Virtual Happy Hour

WOTR hosts regular happy hour and networking events for members and those looking to learn more to mingle, talk shop and connect. The July happy hour date is to be determined, but stay tuned for more information in the next issue of The Comet Magazine and on writeontheriver.org.

To learn more about Write on the River, become a member, or register for events, visit writeontheriver.org. Membership is $35 per year, and offers free or discounted access to all WOTR events. Questions? Contact info@ writeontheriver.org. C

pretty lies: the box art of atari

BY RON EVANS

Few art forms have suffered from a lack of respect more than illustration in general, but video game illustration? We’re talking Rodney Dangerfield levels of respect lacking. At least that’s how it used to be. We (the video game players) even often took for granted that someone was designing and laying out these early cartridge, box and instruction manual images in a very uniquely limited process. Consumers saw radness, they bought the game - it was that simple. Of course in the early 1980s we had to brace ourselves for some serious disappointment when it came to seeing the actual game. The wildly colorful 3D space cities of the future on the cartridge became blocks of solid pastel color on our tv screen. Glowing rods in true perspective forming neon grids of robotic spider webbing became a giant Con-

nect 4 board. You get the idea.

In many ways, these illustrators were informing us, the players, as to what our imagination should be seeing.

“Why, that’s no square. That’s an alien battleship, sir. Or maybe a renowned tennis player. Or maybe a boulder. We just can’t know.”

“That blocky, skinny circle thing? That’s the entrance to an alligator-infested swamp pit that will open up and eat your whole family.”

These artists were faced with a very interesting (and brand new) challenge concerning design and illustration. This wasn’t like illustrating a book where they could essentially create anything they want as long as it fit the description in the book, or the author’s cocaine-fueled visions. It wasn’t like a film where they knew what the characters and locations looked like. They kind of had to con us into thinking

squares were not simply squares. They also had to keep gameplay, themes and characters in mind - but of course, these characters were about as defined as a six piece lego sculpture. I can only guess that at least a few creative directors/programmers gave these artists prompts like “it’s triangle shaped” - “make it go in a tunnel” - “it needs to have legs” or “it needs to look like my cocaine-fueled visions...and GO.”

If you close your eyes and imagine an “Atari look” (on the outside, anyway) that’s likely because the bulk of the first wave of Atari games were illustrated by only a handful of artists. And like any good illustrator, these artists also doubled as a marketing department to sell the world on the Atari 2600 Computer Gaming Console. Even that title was clunky in the beginning. Which is why we quickly condensed it to Atari.

Atari founder, Nolan Bushnell felt it

was important for Atari to have a consistent look, especially in the early days. He has spoken many times about how important it was for the art to single-handedly announce that you were seeing something new from Atari. Working closely with Bushnell and programmers alike, these artists essentially created the first video game universe.

Cliff Spohn was one of the first artists hired by Atari and his earliest box art contributions were for the games Combat and Surround. Sweeping, dramatic battles of land, air and sea in a loose yet highly realistic technique told pretty, pretty lies to us about what to expect in the game of Combat. Surround, however, featured a brilliantly composed illustration of blocks and puzzle pieces emanating in perspective from two highly focused (and highly trapped in the 70s) individuals working on some sort of space console. A clever way

Defender 1981. Early atari artists like Steve Hendrickson used heavy gesso textures to add quick and effective motion and detail. See Super Baseball for a similar technique.

to drive home the ‘pixels and blocks’ gameplay while pairing it with fantasy and scifi. With the bar set by Spohn, it was an easier task to steer the subsequent artists in the right direction. Steve Hendrickson’s work for the classic Haunted House cart would be right at home at Videl Video (aw, remember Videl?) next to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre VHS. And his Warlords box art would pair nicely with Excalibur.

It was no mistake that these illustrations took on film poster styles. It was something that Bushnell had intended. He also wanted these games to have the thought and attention that record covers usually got. Which is likely why Space Invaders looks exactly like a Boston album cover. SEE IMAGE BELOW.

The Atari art department was under the leadership of George Opperman, who designed the enduring logo for the company. Opperman claimed the logo to be representative of the letter A for Atari and Mount Fuji. Bushnell calls bullshit on that and said it was just one of many doodles Opperman tossed out and once it was accepted, the artist reverse engineered the stories. This seems to compute once you see some of the other logo rough drafts. SEE IMAGE ON NEXT PAGE.

Even the most overlooked artforms at some point seem to get their day in the sun and these long ignored Atari creatives have finally been basking in theirs lately - largely due to the 80s nostalgia-mania that Stranger Things seems to have sparked. Also pushing these artists into the light of day is Tim Lapetino’s The Art Of Atari: From Pixels To Paintbrush (2016) coffee table book featuring art, interviews, sketchbooks and rough draft illustrations which has sold well and the market for any surviving original works from the Atari days has launched like a Missile Command projectile. Although, originals are scarce. When Atari saw a downward trend in sales (thank you E.T. - see the great documentary Atari: Game Over for more on that) they were forced to move out of their famously hip Silicon Valley offices in the mid-80s. Rather than pack up and move the many original paintings and drawings stored on the premises, the powers that be simply tossed them in the trash.

Paging Mr. Dangerfield.

Boston’s 2nd LP “Dont’ Look Back” (CBS Records) and Atari’s “Space Invaders.” Who inspired who? Both came out in 1978 and we couldn’t find exact dates, or even anyone pointing this out before. Conspiracy!

I call bullshit.

At least it’s colorful.

Haunted House 1982

Super Baseball 1988

Some of George Opperman’s first sketches for Atari’s logo. From the book “The Art Of Atari” by Tim Lapetino.

All images and titles, except for the logo strip, are the property of Atari (yes they are still in biz...kinda).

Backgammon 1979

Super Breakout 1978

Star Raiders 1979

Yars’ Revenge 1982

by nick carlo

TodayI wanted to talk about something that scares a lot of people, in fact, many people are not even aware that it scares them. It’s something that we constantly avoid, often without even being aware that we are avoiding it. This is a fear that is so deep seated, it’s hard even to notice how and when we are affected by it. It comes in many forms and appears as one phantom here, and another apparition there. I am of course talking about loneliness.

Now there are, of course, many manifestations of this monster. Simply, being not near any physical humans is one of its masks, though certainly not the most gruesome. Often we can defeat this avatar with some willpower or even ignore it all together. However, one can just as easily be emotionally alone, in a world where no feeling seems understood, reciprocated, or otherwise felt. Likewise, one can be mentally alone, where it seems as though no thoughts, theories, or world views are shared.

Now, just think how easy it is to satiate this fear these days, to give it a piece of meat so it crawls back under the bed, and leaves us alone, for now. The internet is only a few thumb swipes away, and in as many seconds the phantom of mental isolation is assuaged. One can find others of similar mind almost immediately. A phone and some apps can get us to the party or the bar and that nagging sense of anxiety, that we hardly realized, that drove us to pick up the phone is gone as soon as we didn’t even notice it.

And yet, I wonder, is this a victory? Is being near another, is being understood, is sympathy always necessary? Are we entitled to these? Now, certainly, no one can deny the positive effects of a hug, honest listening, and empathy, but if, one day, the well seems dry, what will we do?

One should consider the effects that

loneliness can have. For some it may be overwhelming for a time. Nights of isolation, fraught with anxiety and fear, sitting there, without this basic human need of community. However, it is Fear that is the real enemy here.

Perhaps, then, loneliness is not just a monster who wants to eat us after all, maybe he’s trying to teach us something. What then does he want to teach us?

In a word, your worth. Your inherent worth, independent of any attachments or crutches you may have. At the center, under it all, is Life, your unique existence that no one else has, and while yes, lonely, is a beautiful thing. Loneliness trains us to build our world view in our own unique and beautiful way, without the constant stream of voices telling us how and what to believe. We learn to have some faith in our intuition and homespun perspective. Then moments of sympathy become little blessings, as opposed to a requirement for us.

The fact is that growth inherently creates a distance in the self from those who do not. And this can be lonely. However, this growth is certainly worth the apparent isolation. Consider monastic traditions from all over the world; they know that no one else can achieve another’s liberation; it is a path that is walked alone. And at the end, we see, loneliness itself is an illusion. Thus, while Loneliness is necessary, and in some senses inherent to the human experience, it need not be feared. He wants us to stand on our own two feet behind ourselves, to not require or demand validation from others. In this way we face down the monster, and he bows.

And for those of you who are fans of The Lord of the Rings, I’ll leave you with one last thought: “You are a ringbearer, Frodo. To bear a ring of power is to be alone.” C

Night Shadows, a 1921 etching by Edward Hopper.

diablos de nane: printmaker reinaldo gil zambrano

By Ron Evans Reinaldo Gil Zambrano

is an awardwinning printmaking artist based in Spokane, WA from Caracas, Venezuela. From an early age, RGZ began collecting unique stories from random social encounters that highlight the common aspects of the human identity that later enriched the visual narratives of his drawings, relief prints, installations, and murals. This Friday he brings his show “Diablos de Nane” to Gallery One in Ellensburg. The opening also features Seattle’s Lisa Myers Bulmash, a collage and book artist who works primarily in acrylics, paper and found objects.

We chatted with Reinaldo about the show and the craft of fine-art printmaking.

Talk about your earliest dabbling into the art world?

I have been fascinated with drawing since an early age. Many times, I was drawing on my bedroom walls and my school books. I always enjoyed the idea of becoming an artist, having my work on exhibition, and painting large murals. I had my first group exhibition in high school while living at the United World College in Costa Rica. I see the art world like a video game where you, little by little, gain new skills and accomplish small victories towards your goals.

Assuming you were sketching or doodling in the early days, at what point did you get into printmaking?

R: I started exploring printmaking more seriously while in graduate school at the University of Idaho around 2014. I made this lousy woodcut with a fish with a gas mask, and after I pulled it, I got a hook into “the dark side” of ink on paper. Later that year, I went to my first Southern Graphic International Conference. After seeing so many talented artists from around the US and Mexico doing such a fantastic variety of work with printmaking and book arts, I saw multiple possibilities. I fell in love with the supporting print community, and since then, I continue to reach out, collaborate and learn while sharing the process with many others in our community. It is such an empowering process, and I

continue to see it in my practice and everybody who tries it for the first time.

What type of printmaking do you prefer - and are you creating in other mediums as well?

I love relief printing because of the graphic quality and visual texture that a woodcut or linoleum block produces on paper and the carving process. It is a visual treat that is hard to move on from; however, I also enjoy screen printing and lithography. On the other hand, painting murals is another sweet way of making something big, engaging, and transformative to an inactive space. Murals are also tons of fun with a physical challenge. But, I approach every surface and idea from a drawing standpoint playing around with different marks and materials that enrich the visual narrative into their final form.

What part(s) of the print process do you most feel makes it different from pen and ink work or paintings? And take us through a typical (is there a typical one?) piece from concept to final print?

Printmaking, in general, is a processoriented craft where you get to wear several hats. While creating a print, you use drawing with pen on paper and later draw on a matrix. Next, you carve your drawing with a gauge or chisel, and your initial illustration is transformed and molded into something unique to be pressed finally and stamped on paper or fabric. Printmaking elevates any marks from your initial drawing or painting; you can use any of the previous as a way to design your sketch for your matrix. Once you start reducing the surface by carving, the resistance provided by the material against the gauge is satisfying and unique to any other art form.

Tell us about your upcoming show at Gallery One, and what inspired the title?

This show titled “Dancing Devils of Nane” is a personal challenge to work on a print series to build a body of work and create unique interpretations from my younger self memories from a fascinating cultural celebration from back home. There are seven woodcut prints

of masks inspired by the traditional handmade masks worn by the Dancing Devils of Corpus Christi, a traditional celebration and festivity from Yare, Venezuela. The dancing devils originated from small communities along the central coastal region of Venezuela as a unique way to celebrate the Feast of Corpus Christi, an annual Roman Catholic holiday commemorating the presence of Christ in the Sacrament. Groups of adults, young men, and children disguised as masked devils dance backward in penitence as the Catholic Church’s official carries forth the Blessed Sacrament. String and percussion instruments provide musical accompaniment, and worshippers carry maracas to ward off evil spirits. At the climax of the celebration, the devils surrender to the Sacrament, symbolizing the triumph of good over evil.

You have been a bit experimental with the art of printmaking in the past, tell us about the First Vandal Steam Roller Project?

As a student, I wanted to print a 5x4 woodcut but did not have a press that big; instead of printing it by hand, I got inspired by Jim Bailey’s Steam Roller printing at Missoula, Montana. I decided to rent an asphalt roller and invite other students and makers. Together we used the asphalt roller as a makeshift press and had a blast printing large blocks on fabric in front of the local community. It is always fun to find new ways of doing things that you usually do and bring others into the process of experimentation. You always get to

find a new trick, a new solution, or a new frustration that will trigger a thought, solution or disregard an idea.

The art world at large still seems to put paintings and painters on a bit of a pedestal in terms of what takes up the bulk of gallery wall space. Have you found that to be a hurdle as a printmaker or is that tide changing?

I heard someone asking me once if I picked printmaking because painting was more demanding, challenging, and competitive. Printmaking is wrongly considered less valuable because of its nature of multiples and the general association of the word “print” to digital copies. However, printmaking has contributed to reproducing ideas, making them accessible to many; it played a crucial role in social movements throughout history, empowering the people with their democratic multiples, while some paintings have been more limited to the elites. I see printmaking as a community-building tool that brings people together and elevates them, and many specialized galleries and museums also recognize its importance. But we must continue to educate the general public about the significance of printmaking and its value as an art form by engaging more individuals into the printing process, which goes beyond automatic digital reproductions.

Many of your pieces contain elements of manmade junk intertwined with nature scenes and dilapidated houses. What are you exploring with these themes?

Humans are interconnected with their environment and can develop their own homes and define their external worlds. I get inspired by the universal idea of home and its relation to the symbolism connected to the house. If you observe the work, the houses are not dilapidated; they are constructed with humble materials by the community’s support at the barrios. Contrary to their deceiving structures, they seek to illustrate the essential part that makes a home a home: the unconditional love that a family can develop to survive independently of how fancy a house is.

You manage an incredible amount of fine line work and depth in your pieces, are you working in a fairly large format?

I do like to work on a large format. I am fascinated with the idea of creating engaging visual narratives that absorb the viewer, or at least that is the intention. Also, the line is such a powerful element of design, and I enjoy pushing it to create more complex compositions and play with the dimension of a piece in a two-dimensional format.

With printmaking, I’m always curious about how the artists settle on a number to limit them to. Can you tell us a bit about your thoughts there?

I like to work on small editions of 10 to 20. I like for people to acquire something special, one of the few of these limited editions. On the other hand, printing an edition is less interesting for me than making the matrix.

Are you inspired by commercial illustration? And do you create work commercially, or strictly staying in the fine art world?

I like the challenge of creating with different prompts, so a few times have done commercial collaborations. I enjoy commercial work when I have creative freedom with the idea and materialize my idea’s vision. With RGZprints we also produce hand-carved relief printed limited edition t-shirts that go more into the commercial. We have different price points from stickers, wearables, fine art prints on paper, and murals, making it accessible for people to dive into starting their collection of artwork.

I’m just sayin’ I’d love some religious candles with your art on them. I don’t care who I’d have to pray to. I am open for commission, only if the idea is intriguing and fantastic!

What’s up next for you following the Gallery One showing?

An epic road trip with my partner in crime: Ashley Vaughn.

Where can people follow your doings online?

My website is reinaldogilzambrano.com, and you can also find me on Instagram as @RGZprints. You will find any other links on my profile bio, regarding Pine Copper Lime (number 1 printmaking podcast) that I co-host in Spanish, and my online store on shopify. C

collapse has the remedy: group art show opens june

rem·e·dy (rĕm′ĭ-dē)

n. pl. rem·e·dies

1. Something, such as a drug or a bandage, that is used to treat a symptom, disease, injury, or other condition.

2 a. Something that corrects an evil, fault, or error.

b. Law: The means of obtaining redress of a wrong or enforcement of a right.

3 The allowance by a mint for deviation from the standard weight or quality of coins.

tr.v. rem·e·died, rem·e·dy·ing, rem·e·dies

1. To relieve or cure (a disease or disorder).

2. To counteract or rectify (a problem, mistake, or undesirable situation). See Synonyms at correct.

The word remedy is very therapeutic to think about. Consider how it might feel to process this concept through art. I’m guessing most of us are feeling the collective need for healing in this time of disruption and transition- what’s your vision of a remedy that suits the new paradigm? Do you seek a soothing, calming approach to remedy or is strength and cunning called for?

Are you called to the verb or the noun?

We are inviting female identifying artists to explore and express themselves on this theme. Maybe this is a good time to remedy something that’s restricting your art practice? Is it a good time to explore new forms of research or incorporate new materials? However you prepare your remedies, we hope to see how they resonate with the work of other artists in this exhibit.

Opening reception June 4th 4-9pm and the exhibit will be on display through June.

words FROM WENATCHEE PRIDE

By Skylar Hansford, board member of Wenatchee Pride.

We live in strange times. It seems like the world in general feels more isolating than it ever has been before. And while this new world is a collective struggle in isolation that none of us have ever dealt with before, the struggle of feeling isolated is not a new one to the queer community. We love the stories of people “coming out” to the welcoming, open arms of their family and friends. But we also have all heard the stories that break our hearts. The stories of people struggling to “come out” out of fear. Sometimes waiting until later in their life, wrestling internally with themselves for years, to finally come out. Only to face the rejection that kept them in the closet for so long. Pride isn’t just a time to celebrate being “out”- It’s also a time to remember that some of our queer community still live in the shadows, afraid of being rejected. Afraid of being rejected by their friends and family because they decided to “come out“ and afraid of being rejected by the LGBTQ+ Community because they waited so long before coming out, that they aren’t really “part of“ the queer community. And while these struggles are not unique, it can still very much feel like you are the only one going through it. Especially in today’s world, with isolation around every corner, in different forms. You are not alone, and sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you are not alone in that.

We sat down with M., as we will be referring to them in this interview - to talk about this.

M. has lived in the Wenatchee Valley for a number of years - marrying his now exwife and starting a family (M. and his exwife share a child together). And while he has always taken part in local Pride events or fundraisers, this will be their first Pride

Month after formally “coming out.”

How old are you?

M: 32

And what age did you officially/publicly “come out?”

M: 32

How old were you when you knew your sexual orientation was not “straight?”

M: Probably, like 26.

Before that was there doubt in your mind about your sexuality? Like, did you begin to have feelings that you denied or pushed aside because of your upbringing?

M: Yes.

What was the youngest you remember feeling like that?

M: Probably high school.

What was the main reason that you pushed those feelings down? Was it out of fear for yourself or out of fear of other people’s reactions?

M: Other people’s reactions.

Did you fear more of an emotional abandonment or a physical confrontation?

M: Both.

Now that you have come out, what has been the thing about coming out that you’ve been most surprised by? Good or bad.

M: Bad would probably be like, loss of

family. Good is learning to be okay with that loss.

Knowing what you know now about coming/being out - would you do anything differently? Like would you go back and tell yourself anything different or do you feel like you needed to go through that journey?

M [fighting through tears]: I would go back and tell myself that it’s okay (to come out).

Talk to me a little bit about why you didn’t feel comfortable coming out to your family.

M: Probably just growing up in a family that was, uh, not supportive of the community and sexuality. Hearing the word “Faggot” used or hearing them talk negatively about the community- things like that.

I know my generation grew up around a generation that wasn’t as accepting [of the community] as it is now. Don’t get me wrong, it still needs a lot of work but even just like 10 years ago it was harder to come out I feel like, than it is today. But it can still be hard.

Did the world around you - politically, the community you live in, the general world around you (outside your family) - contribute to you not wanting to come out? Or was it more about you and your family and their acceptance?

M: I think it’s the world around me because, you know, growing up I had friends whose parents kicked them out or— I grew up in a very conservative town in central California, where I watched kids get beat up for being gay. Or family disowning them or kicking them out. And they’re like 14 years old. I don’t know- just the fear of losing what you think at that time is all you

have, your family. And the fear of losing that kind of scared me. But the reality of it is: if they can’t stand by you, they aren’t worth it.

Was your family‘s reaction what you hoped it would be or what you feared it would be?

M. [choking up]: It wasn’t ALL negative but pretty much what I feared.

If your family was standing here right now- what do you want them to know, what would you want to say to them?

M: Just because I wasn’t ready to accept who I was meant to be, that didn’t make me a liar- you know? I’m still the same person. I think that’s been the hardest part.

Expand on the “liar” part.

M: Just hearing, you know, that somebody so close to you- thinking you kept something from them your whole life. When it had nothing to do with that, or them, it had everything to do with me. Accepting what I was and who I was and being ready to do that [come out].

What is something about coming out/ being out that brings you comfort?

M: I don’t even know honestly.

Do you feel like you’re accepted in the queer community?

M [laughs]: The community can be fucked up. That’s the truth. Define “accepted” - am I attractive enough, am I skinny enough, am I worth enough in the community? People like to say they accept you and that they support you, but that’s not always how the community is, sadly. I think you just have to accept yourself. You’re

BY SKYLAR HANSFORD AND LINCOLN NERE

enough. And you make yourself enough. It doesn’t matter at this point whether you’re enough for somebody else - In the [queer] community, in your family, friends, any of that shit. It’s just being you and being proud.

Do you feel like the fact that you came out in your 30s had any bearing on how people accepted you? After being married to and having a kid with a woman? Or did that not play a factor?

M: I guess it just depends on who you ask. I’ve had some great support from people I thought would never support me. Then you think these people that are supposed to stand by you and love you no matter what - it’s not that they don’t love me, it’s just that they haven’t accepted it or can’t accept it, or they don’t understand.

Last question - in this community that you live in, The Wenatchee Valley, for the queer youth who may be reading this, whether they have come out or not- what do you want to tell them?

M: Be who you are. Love yourself. And don’t let anybody stop you from that- Like, if they aren’t willing to support you and love you for who you are, then they’re not worth your time. There’s so many things that define “friends” and “family”- as long as you’re true to yourself and you love yourself, you’ll be okay! That’s been the hardest part of my journey is learning to love myself. And forgive myself for beating myself up for so long or for lying to myself...

Anything else you want to add?

M [begins laughing through tears]: No but if you need family, hit me up! Fuck that. There’s a million moms and dads out there - you don’t need anyone that doesn’t accept you!

Backpack

by Lincoln Nere, president of Wenatchee Pride

Emergency exit signs are faded, hanging above cracked bus seats. The yellow limo, riding in fashion at thirteen years old.

My girlfriend laughs, seated on the aisle, looking behind her at the tinted car trailing us.

But as I turn, my arm goes to the back of the seat behind her head, and the bus slams on its brakes.

My brother’s hand-me-down, fraying, blue backpack slides two seats ahead of me and skids to a stop against the back of someone’s shoes.

Helen is walking towards me, yelling at the top of her lungs about sinning.

I don’t hear her words, I am focused on the copper Jesus. Hanging from a cross around her neck, shaking and swinging as she preaches the words of hell. Her layered fingers are so close to my face, I can smell the vanilla-scented lotion.

As I stare into the face of heaven,

I wonder if he felt like this when he was nailed to wood in Golgotha. Exposed, humiliated, raw, pissed off.

“switch your seat.”

My feet filled with concrete. My muscles filled with lead. The First Brick stuffed into every pocket of my clothes.

“fuck you.”

It wasn’t until I was standing on the side of state highway 39, the bus driving away, did I realize-

I forgot my backpack.

EXISTING.

By Lincoln Nere

I went into the book shop and I was handing a Pride Flag to the woman at the front desk because she had donated to Wenatchee Pride. As I was standing there and she said “hey our palm reader is in the back today.”

The palm reader is looking at my hands. The left hand represents the past and the right hand represents the present/future.

And he looks at my fingertips towards the end of our conversation he says “your fingerprints have changed, quite literally they’ve changed. And the arch of your fingers has changed.” I asked him “what are the finger tips?” and he said “lots of things, but it’s who you were and how your progress.”

And obviously it’s all introspective.

I was really lost for my whole life. But my progression? What I went through to get where I am, when all I was trying to do was to exist in my own identity?

What I guess I’m trying to say is - I just don’t understand how anyone can look at me and try to take away the right to exist as myself when my hands, the two things I use every single day...to eat and help and clean and love.

Play cards, take care of my cats, work hard at my job, and I come home and I kiss my partner, take a shower, and eat dinner and go to bed. I do what everyone else does. But my Right to healthcare, play sports, get married, adopt kids is questionable? It’s up for debate?

I don’t care what anyone says. There is nothing wrong about me, and there is nothing wrong about you. Wear the clothes, don’t wear the clothes, change your name, put your middle fingers up and tell the bus driver fuck you when she’s discriminating against you.

Stand up for your right to exist.

Moxie Rose and Rockabilly McGregor of The Radar Dames.

by ron evans

WARNING: STRONG MATURE...AHEM, CONTENT AHEAD

Around 2014 there was a kooky story going viral. Even if you were too bashful to click on the links you likely caught the gist of the story simply from the headlines. “Woman Makes $30,000 A Month Writing Bigfoot Porn Fiction.” And for a while that was the exact life (and financial situation) for Virginia Wade. A pen name - one of many this writer has used over the years in various (and I do mean VARIOUS) genres of the written word. In fact Wade, under her many alter-egos, has written and published over 100 novels. Westerns, romance, historical dramas and...well. Just wait.

Around the time Wade’s story started blowing up, my old podcast Tales From The Spacepod was booking guests to in-

terview and we reached out to the author expecting to never hear back. To be honest, we thought the story was likely bullshit. These titillating, filthy tales of Sasquatch in the throes of woodsy passion with some young attractive campers out on holiday surely were part of some sort of gag series put out by a group of beer swilling male writers that were rejected from the Bizarro Fiction world. Well, we were wrong. Not only is the woman behind these books real, she was a delight to chat with and she may just have the most refreshingly blue collar approach to writing that I have ever encountered. Below are some highlights of that chat.

So what got you going down the path of interspecies romance as fodder for your writings?

I was sitting on the couch one night - and at that time I was writing like four to five short stories a week and it just literally popped in my head. What if? What if a couple of girls go into the woods and they end up encountering Bigfoot? And what if he’s really, really horny and decides he’s going to kidnap them and you know, have his way with them? As soon as I thought that I was like, oh my God, I’ve got to write this because this is it. I had no idea it was going to even sell or anything. Just for my own personal, crazy satisfaction.

How are these books being published?

I’ve published them myself through Kindle Direct Publishing. And you can also publish them on Barnes and Noble and Smashwords and iTunes. Nowadays you don’t really even need a publisher, you can

be your own publisher, which is absolutely fabulous.

My sales weren’t that super great around that time which was December of 2011. I was starting to get an audience but it wasn’t until I published the first three Moan For Bigfoot books that things started taking off. Almost as soon as I published... I don’t know if I can say the “c” word in the magazine…

You can say whatever you want. I think?

I don’t know how things work. Well, Cum For Bigfoot was the original title of the series. As soon as I published that, Nick Redfern, who writes for Penthouse Magazine and a couple of other periodicals - he’s a cryptozoologist or whatever they’re called. He wrote me an

email and he said, I read your short story and I’m gonna put it on my blog and you might get more sales from this. And I did, but it wasn’t like a massive explosion. It was just a bit more of a trickle and then like a week later there was a bigger trickle and it just started to snowball from there. Through 2012, I was pretty darn successful, but I didn’t really have a lot of media attention until after the Business Insider interview. And then everybody picked up on it. It got crazy for a while there.

So you changed the title to Moan For Bigfoot...did Amazon have anything to do with that?

Yes. They started to put an “adult-content” filter on about 60% of my stories, and that just decimated my sales. But they had been doing stuff even before that to erotica there. They’ve been systematically clamping down on erotica. And it’s gotten to the point where I can’t make money off of erotica anymore. I’ve actually moved on to another pen name. I’m really not even writing under the Virginia Wade name much anymore.

It’s strange because you can buy pictures with, you know, pussies in your face on Amazon if you want. You can get all sorts of sex toys and videos. And here they are cracking down on the written word and this stuff is just silly fiction. I know a lot of erotica writers and we all follow the rules. Any characters have to be 18 or older. No bestiality which...come on, Bigfoot is a mythological character to most people.

How dare you... But that’s an interesting thought, let’s say that next week we catch us a live bigfoot and now we know they are real, does that suddenly make your porn illegal by their standards?

Well, the original book that was free on Amazon, they blocked it just recently. I got the email saying that it’s against their content guidelines, but the thing is, it had been out since 2011. So I think my little

bout of publicity kind of worked against me.

It’s censorship. And I’m an independent author. If I were traditionally published and I had Simon and Schuster backing me or something, I wouldn’t even have that problem. I could write underage sex, I could write a snuff book. I could write whatever I wanted and I would be fine. But because I’m an independent author I don’t have that security at all. So they can pretty much do whatever the heck they want to me and it’s really hurt the Virginia name. I do look at this as a business and I would like to continue to make money. So I moved on to a really safe genre that I knew they wouldn’t block and filter.

What genre is that?

Sweet romance stories, more mainstream.

Is that a little dry, pardon the pun, after writing something as wacky as bigfoot porn?

Well, I just love to write. So, for me, it’s always been about characters and about telling a story. Because if you read a lot of the bigfoot stuff, it ends up turning into romance. I start them off super raunchy and just disgusting and a little bit dark and creepy. But as it goes along, it morphs into this saga of having children and falling in love.

Do you have a sense of your main demographic with the bigfoot porn books?

Mostly women. Some men of course, but yeah mostly women by far. When I first started with erotica I thought I was writing to men. And that’s why a lot of my earlier stories are so filthy - I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do with erotica.

Before 50 Shades of Gray hit really big, erotica was loaded with a bunch of short filthy stories. Then 50 Shades comes along and now all of a sudden it’s these big novels and there’s more than just sex, there’s a ton of plot and it’s basically just a

romance novel. It’s just a teeny bit kinkier. So, erotica kind of got invaded by the romance people. It’s never been the same.

But now I’m writing mostly Christian romance books.

Fucking...what?

Yeah, and I can’t tell you the pen name that it’s under for obvious reasons. Those readers would be so offended and they would be absolutely disgusted with me. But the thing is, I started out in romance. So for me to go and write really chaste romance is not that big of a jump.

Have you ever written something but scrapped it because it was a bit too much even for Virginia Wade?

I usually finish a project once I start. But sometimes I don’t like how it turns out. Cum for Frankenstein. I hated the way that book turned out. I basically wrote it in one day. I had to write it because it was a part of an anthology and the deadline was approaching and that’s a terrible way to write. That story was pretty...rough.

I think it’s been blocked so I don’t think it’s on Amazon anymore, either. That’s my least favorite story, I didn’t enjoy how that turned out. The main guy was just...there were no redeeming values. And what happened to those women was not nice. So I wasn’t proud of myself there.

Sorry, it’s still blowing my mind that my dear, sweet religious mother could possibly read a book by the author of Cum For Bigfoot.

It’s possible. I’m not just stuck on one thing, thank God. Otherwise, I’d have no career.

This article was transcribed from episode 152 of Tales From The Spacepod podcast. Some minor rephrasing was made to better translate audio to print. C

Quarantinescopes for June 2021

Mercury has gone retrograde again, hold onto your butts.

Aries - Here you come Aries, bursting in like you’re the reason the world spins. Bad news, you’re not.

Taurus - Get it you grounded, earthy bitch. You’re not lazy, you’re... intentional.

Gemini - Sure do wish you’d stop talking.

Cancer - Damn you’re sensitive this month. Oh wait, that’s every month.

Leo - You’re not totally selfish; you’d give the shirt right of your back. But as soon as it got cold, you’d take it back.

Virgo - You sure have a lot of criticisms for everyone around you. Must be nice to be perfect.

Libra - Please just choose. It’s not about what you ‘should’ choose, it’s about what you truly want to choose.

Scorpio - You’re one tough cookie. A tough, scary, unpredictable, power-hungry cookie.

Sagittarius - You don’t have commitment issues, you just want ultimate freedom and autonomy at all times. That’s fair.

Capricorn - It’s time for you to learn the difference between being frugal and living in scarcity. Good luck!

Aquarius - You’re fun. But have you tried being... consistent and/or reliable for a change?

Pisces - Cool emotions bro, when are you going to learn to communicate them?

brain dump: the rule of threes

by KRISTEN ACESTA

We speak about the “third party perspective” often when discussing ways to recognize our current state of being. Patients who find themselves anxious, depressed, or otherwise caught up in their monkey mind of an imagination are encouraged to practice the Third Party Perspective.

Think of it this way. You know that point in dating where your partner’s family is comfortable enough with you that they let their guard down? Then they start acting like emotionally stunted teenagers, which then triggers all of your partner’s childhood patterns that haven’t been well kept. Pretty soon the drama unfolds as you get to witness both your partner and his family and their idiocracy as a silent observer. You understand why one person says this or that, and how the other person responds like this because you understand the history, the sentiment, and the punches.

Now let’s turn that role inward. Becoming your own third party observer helps one to (briefly) emotionally detach from the situation for a needed check in.

What emotion are you experiencing?

Can you feel this in your body?

Can you try and relax out that area?

Can you let the emotion go?

And if not, are you feeding into it?

We are always feeding into it. Most days are a charcuterie of emotional tip offs, with a well preserved remoulade etiquette to boot. Few people can recognize their emotional state, let alone be able to feel/sense/explore/dissolve their boundaries. That is, the boundary between the emotional flare up and your true state of being.

And if that went a little esoteric, we are going to bring it back to basics right meow.

So, what to do? We either can’t access the third party state when we need to or altogether. Therefore we start with a meditation practice in order to fortify the foundation of awareness, and we practice the Rule of Threes to make sure we aren’t feeding into it.

Let me repeat that again. The most impactful and purposeful practice is to sit with yourself on the daily and allow yourself to witness your thoughts. Eventually

this practice turns to non-attachment of the mental/emotional state.

The Rule of Threes can be a helpful sidekick practice that reminds us of our indulgent emotional behaviour.

Take Karen. We all know a Karen in our lives. The one who supports PTA meetings, but has already told seventeen people about Mrs. Macklemore’s affair before showing up to the annual luncheon. And then bitches and moans on Facebook about the color of the parking meters, in order to reach more people.

Or what about sweet Sarah Sue? The one who means well but can’t shut up about how awesomely awesome her ivy league lawyer of a son is. Pretty soon you’ve heard the story three times and with each retelling the fish fry is bigger.

We all do it. Until now. With the Rule of Threes, you get exactly three chances to retell your stories of magnitude, mania, emotional flamboyance, shock, horror, and disbelief. When you catch yourself on your second retelling of the story, make a mental note that you get exactly one more.

It sounds kind of silly, but it is a really powerful tool that reminds us we are often the culprit of our own emotional upheavals. On that second retelling, I guarantee you will stop to think (and maybe even plan out) who will be your third listener. Your stories and speech will become more purposeful. You may even find that telling the story becomes unimportant, allowing room (and a third party perspective) to find the spaces within it that cause emotional reactions whether deemed good or bad.

Don’t forget, this applies to good feelings too. Which means if you win the lotto you get to tell only me, your accountant, and a friend. Or you know, whomever you see fit.

Dr. Kristen Acesta, ND, RH Naturopathic physician and registered herbalist at Mission Creek & Wellness, co-owner of Salt Creek Apothecary.

becomeyourmission.org

saltcreekapothecary.com

Artbeat: cross-pollination

by lonnie broadvalley

Cross pollination = abundant thoughts.

Acouple of weeks ago I had the good luck to catch the Shrub Steppe Poetry Podium at Collapse Gallery. Casual and welcoming, the group has a few core members and a range of writing styles. Some read their own poems, some recite the work of others and range from cowboy poetry to Shakespeare to Dre. A few curious people, drawn to the creative energy, come in off the street and listen to the poetry. The pull of an inviting space where unincorporated, unaffiliated human beings share common ground through art is irresistible. The attraction of a positive, collective experience is palpable these days - and maybe we’re instinctively looking for ourselves in each other instead of on Netflix or Facebook. Listening to poetry surrounded by visual art, I start thinking about the exchange of ideas taking place and how impossible it is to separate one art form from another. A few days later I reached out to Susan Blair who started the Shrub Steppe group in 2018 as a response to her own growing interest in poetry. Susan describes her path of discovery as a ‘positive spiral’ that compels her to connect and share with other writers. The poets met in a couple of different spaces and soon found a home and a mic at the (now defunct) RadarStation. The art and music venue was a natural fit with a full bar and the type of fertile atmosphere that encourages connection and self expression.

When I met with Susan, I kept referring to cross-pollination as a way to describe the exchange of energy and ideas between art forms. She pointed out that poetry is full of music with its rhythm, cadence, alliteration (same letter or sound at the front of adjoining words), and assonance (repetition of a vowel sound). Spoken word and rap blend these literary patterns so seamlessly that the actual meaning of

words can be secondary to the sounds and textures that the words create. In visual art, color, line, and form can communicate across a broader spectrum of understanding than imagery or words. Colors, sounds, textures, and movement aren’t confined to one ‘meaning’ but we do have pretty complex cultural and personal associations with these things. Completely different responses can exist side by side in front of the same picture - and they’re both valid. How beautiful.

Sculptor and activist Barbara Hepworth (1903-1975) said that art is “... the only language which nations can speak together and not quarrel.” A statement like this only highlights the importance of communication through all forms of art to express what it is to be human, no matter the material or the vehicle.

The Shrub Steppe Poetry Podium is held on the last Wednesday of each month at Collapse Contemporary Gallery at 115 S. Wenatchee Ave. (former home to RadarStation)

For more information or to receive a monthly reminder, email Susan Blair here:

sfblair61@gmail.com

Or visit the group website here: shrubsteppepoetry.org

THE FUNNY PAGES

COMICS AND NOVELTIES

Comics by Dan McConnell

1. In what could only be described as a slow news day in Poland... the Huffpost picked up a story about a woman who woke up one morning and got quite a scare when she looked out her kitchen window and saw a strange creature clinging to a lilac tree. She initially called for help, thinking the creature might be an iguana or something. When help arrived however, it wasn’t an iguana at all. It was a...

A) a Croissant

B) A praying mantis hive

C) Frozen poop from an airplane dump

D) A rubber vaginal sex toy that had been fucked inside out and discarded

2. Kanye West has a new logo he’s trying to launch for his YEEZY brand of clothing. Unfortunately, a large corporation is legally trying to block Kanye from releasing his logo as they believe it’s a bit too close to their logo. What company are we talking about?

A) Walmart

B) Adidas

C) Spotify

D) Playboy

3. Quarantine has been tough on everyone... Even our famous friends. This famous actor took to social media to share a video of himself in a skimpy outfit while he proclaims he is in the worst shape of his life. Who was it?

A) Vin Diesel

B) Jack Black

C) Will Smith

D) Steven Segal

4. Once, someone asked Abraham Lincoln’s widow if her late husband had any hobbies. She replied with one word. What was it?

A) Stamps

B) Naps

C) Checkers

D) Cats

5. We’ve got a new rover on Mars, and it’s even equipped with a little drone style helicopter that can launch from the rover and take short flights to survey the surrounding area.

There’s a small detail about the little helicopter that a lot of people don’t know... What is it?

A) The drone itself is powered by a small and impressive nuclear reactor.

B) It features a small swatch of fabric taken from the infamous Wright Brothers plane.

C) It features some major similarities to the drones that were used during the Osama Bin Laden raid.

D) It can actually propel itself back into orbit for a pickup if needed.

ANSWERS BELOW 1:A A croissant.

looks

Delicious!

And it TOO looks like a butthole. 3:C Will Smith, and he still

better than most of us. Bastard. 4:D Cats. Cats! Not really a hobby, but...whatevs. 5:B Neat huh?