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71 Zero Heroes

71 Zero Heroes

How was it doing all that in the prosthetics? Did you have to really gear yourself up to perform in that? Yeah, you really did.

You really just prayed for a good night’s sleep because it was terrifying.

In fact, there was a wedding in the hotel I was staying at the night before I had to do the first song, ‘The Hammer’ song, and someone was playing trance music until five o’clock in the morning.

Anyway, I went downstairs and thought, ‘Oh my god I’ve been kept awake all night by these people’.

And actually, the only thing that got me through the day was my hatred of them.

It was a form of energy that helped me to survive.

I thought, ‘I can do this because I want to kill those people’ – those newlyweds, listening to trance until 5am.

Trance at a wedding? I know. What on earth? I give it six months. [laughs]

Matilda is the only person who really has the guts to say ‘no’ to Miss Trunchbull. What’s one of the hardest ‘nos’ you received early on in your career? Any rejections? Oh yeah, I got lots of ‘Thank you but no, you’re not quite right.’

I do remember – this wasn’t terribly upsetting under the circumstances because I don’t think I could have faced it – but I do remember Paul Verhoeven saying to me when I was in my, I guess I was early 30s, and went and auditioned for Basic Instinct and he said that I fell between two stools.

And I thought, ‘Mmm, I bet I do. What kind of stool are you talking about Paul? Mmm weird’.

I do remember that. That was a very funny rejection.

But yeah, I mean, there’s been loads, of course, when I was young, absolutely.

You just send them your Oscars now? Yeah.

Are you a fan of musicals? And if so, do you remember the first musical you fell in love with? Well, I was very lucky because I had an uncle who loved musicals so I got to go and see the original production of A Chorus Line when it came to London, which was absolutely remarkable.

But I was also in a musical [Me and My Girl] in my early 20s for 15 months.

And the joy of actually being onstage with an orchestra was, you know, unforgettable.

A very kind of seminal part of my growing up was playing to a house, playing to 1600 people a night for over a year with an orchestra in the pit.

I have a great love for that musical because of that.

Musicals do make everyone happy? If they’re good.

If they’re bad, they can be quite depressing, but when they’re good, there’s nothing to beat them.

I don’t know whether Ingmar Bergman would agree with that though but there you go.

Miss Trunchbull has a statue with ‘No Snivelling’ underneath. If you were to have your own statue, what would it say? It would say, ‘I regret this’.

Because the idea of having your own statue is just deeply, deeply unpleasant and regrettable. [laughs]

Who was the funniest person on set? Charlie [Hodson-Prior aka Bruce Bogtrotter].

He’s just one of those people, he’s a bit of a geezer, he’s witty, he’s just funny, so funny.

I actually drove him into a tree when we were in that little thingy.

I got a turn wrong and I drove the thing into a tree.

How did he feel about that? He was thrilled. He said do it again. [laughs]

Who was the mum on set? Me. [laughs] It’s a sort of disease actually.

Who was the biggest ‘Matilda’ fan out of the cast members? The whole cast, I think.

I mean, everybody loved what they were doing.

Nobody got bored with it or bored with their part or moaned or complained – everyone was happy.

I reckon the whole cast are pretty big fans.

Did you have a teacher at school who had an impact on you like Miss Honey? I had a wonderful teacher in my second year at primary school.

He was called Mr Ray and he became a headmaster afterwards.

But he was so encouraging.

I was bullied at school because I was a bit fat and I had a plait, I just wasn’t very popular.

Mr Ray would say, ‘It’s fine. You’re doing well, it’s all okay’.’

And that was really, really helpful. I’ve never forgotten him.

Finally, Miss Ttrunchbull’s boots – have you kept them? Obviously.

Greg [Wise – her husband] said, ‘Oh you should bring those home!’ [laughs]

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