Perchance to D ream

Stephen Shaw

After a busy day of doing jobs come five o clock we can be found slumped on the sofa watching A Place in the Sun' ' A New Life in the Sun' 'Help! We Bought a Village' or some other programme based on property renovation Anna, my wife, wants to watch

Usually around property number two Anna will get more comfy' and assume the horizontal position putting her feet on my lap Before property number three she will 'rest one eye ' , and stare at the telly like Popeye shortly followed by the other Convinced she has reached DEFCOn 2 level of sleep or the nasal whistling has begun, I will reach for the remote control and have a flick “I was watching that!” , “You were asleep” , “No I wasn't” , etc This also happens on long car journeys, sometimes when she is driving! I'm chastised for not being able to sleep in the passenger seat when she is driving, “well someone ' s got to stay awake!” Having written off the car (by wrapping it around a tree when falling asleep at the wheel) near Sauzé-Vaussais, she knows she cannot win this one

Gone are the days of a good night's sleep When we climb the wooden hill to Bedfordshire we will get into the same bed, but rarely do we wake in the same Someone will be snoring, had a bad dream, was too hot, too cold, the cat was sleeping on their head a fly was in the room felt an earthquake etc and abandon ship to the spare room

If I can't sleep I read If Anna reads she will fall asleep; she has been reading the same book since 2015

“I had the most exhausting dream, last night” are usually her first words in the morning, followed by a blow by blow account of all the twists and turns With plot lines more confusing than a Dickens novel and a cast of thousands (usually people from our college days or my mother) she is always the victim and I the villain

If it is not the d she will list the various parts o her body which were causing her pain through th night and prev her from sleep will be woken by the rustling of silver foil as she pops a couple of paracetamol from their wrappers followed by swearing as she knocks her glass of water over A menthol balm stick (similar to a Pritt stick) is always clos at hand, which she smears across h forehead to ease headaches A blue mat (I don't think the colour is impo chilled in the fridge and then slept on when all else fails I am not without blame and my constant trudging to the toilet throughout the night must be extremely annoying Unlike Anna I cannot see in the dark But not wanting to put the light on will stagger in what I think is the direction of the door waving my arms in front of me, often crashing into the wardrobe en route

I am an early bird, she a slow starter I start my day at 6 45 each morning and can often be told to “stop singing!” by Anna who is tr ying to have a lie in Getting dressed in the dark means I later discover my jumper is inside out or my pants back to front Another down side is I'm ready for my bed at nine in the evening

When I am hot, she is cold I'm wrapped in several blankets and duvets and basting in my own juices like a nuclear reactor, she will be opening the window, clicking the fan on and huffing and puffing like a good un

Apparently Voltaire drank 40 cups of coffee a day and slept for four hours a night, not wishing to compare myself to the great man, as I struggle to think how to finish this month s article in my sleep deprived state, I will go to the kitchen and pour myself another cup of jitter juice

If you would like to read more ramblings from Mr Shaw, go to www lifein79 blogspot com

1 August 1793 - France becomes 1st country to use the metric system - the national Convention adopts a decree introducing a metric system in France and finally enacted in April 1795

4 August 1907 - In the Tour de France, Lucien Petit-Breton of France beats compatriots Gustave Garrigou and Emile Georget He repeats his victory the following year ahead of Francois Faber of Luxembourg and Georges Passerieu of France

6 August 1928 - Andrew Warhola, later known as Andy Warhol is born in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania With his distinctive silverblonde hair he became one of the 20th century s most influential artists Warhol was a leading figure in the 1960s pop art movement before evolving into a cultural icon for many years, until its collapse in 1989, marking the end of the Cold War period

16 August 1974 - The Ramones launch the punk-rock revolution with their debut performance at CBGB an East Village bar Their raw sound inspires a new underground movement influencing bands like the Sex Pistols and the Clash attack by the OAS group The incident was later dramatised in Frederick Forsyth s novel " The Day of the Jackal "

26 August 1944 - After more than four years of nazi occupation Paris is liberated by the joint efforts of the French 2nd Armored Division and the U S 4th Infantry Division In defiance of Adolf Hitler s directive to demolish the city's historical monuments and set the city ablaze General Dietrich von Choltitz, the German garrison's leader, chooses to officially surrender The Free French General Charles de Gaulle leads a march of liberation down the Champs Élysées The events are documented in the 2014 film Diplomacy

22 August 1862 - French composer Claude Debussy is born in Saint- Germain-en-Laye He created works for both piano and orchestra with his most famous work likely being Clair de Lune (1890) Debussy s unique style incorporated influences from Russian and Far Eastern music

10 August 1793 - After two centuries as a royal palace the Louvre officially opens to the public Starting as a small gallery with a little over 500 paintings it has since developed into a vast repository of art and historical artefacts becoming an iconic symbol of French culture and heritage

13 August 1961 - East Germany begins work on the Berlin Wall, dividing the city of Berlin into two parts - East and West The wall represented Soviet dominance and restricted freedom separating families

22 August 1922 - Irish revolutionary and Sinn Fein politician, Michael Collins, is killed in an ambush at Béal na Bláth Collins played a key role in Ireland's struggle for independence from British rule He was instrumental in the 1921 peace treaty that granted independence to the South and served as finance minister in the newly established Irish Free State until his assassination

27 August 1883 - krakatoa a small uninhabited volcanic island east of Sumatra and west of Java is the site of one of the most violent volcanic eruptions in known history The explosions audible from 3 000 miles away, catapult five cubic miles of earth 50 miles high triggering 120-foot tsunamis and killing of 36 000 people

31 August 1980 - In the city of Gdansk striking shipyard workers' demands are accepted by representatives of Poland s communist government These striking workers led by ex-electrician Lech Walesa established Solidarity, marking the development of the first independent labour union in a Soviet bloc nation

22 August 1962 - French President Charles de Gaulle escapes an assassination attempt due to the performance of his Citroen DS19 This vehicle, known for its advanced hydro pneumatic suspension system helps de Gaulle survive a hail of bullets during an