theFiligree, Fairy Tale News, Autumn #3

AUTUMN ‘09

SWAMP THIEF

Pumpkins, Poems & Pleas A

fter the devastating disappearance of Innis Abernathy late Saturday night, townsfolk came out in droves with poems, candles, Jack-o’-lanterns and other relics that they placed upon the still swamp waters in hopes of catching the attention of the Mysterious Swamp Thief who continues to wreak havoc up and down the banks of the Merla Swamp.

The Abernathy family joined the town and released their own flickering pumpkin hoping that maybe, somehow it would bring their daughter home.

‘

...Then he stole a wife, too. Who knows where he’ll stop

,

Innis Abernathy disappeared in the early morning hours of last Sunday from her bed.

Droplets of water and mud made a trail and footprints slid into the murky swamp verifying fears that the Merla Swamp Thief would stop at nothing.

‘No one knows if she’s still alive. We’ve received no ransom, nothing.’ said Col. Streator looking out over the dark waters that supported the flickering lights. But why can’t police find him?

Sources say that police have exhausted their leads and have come to a dead end. The Swamp Thief appears to sliver soundlessly up from the bottom of an already deep swamp and then disappears back into it as if made by

mist. Shadows have been seen and witnesses have been heard but the mist seems to always evade them and the town continues to have sleepless nights.

‘We were the first victims. It was terrible,’ said Altiria Watson, ‘I came down the stairs that morning and I could see as clear as day that something was not right.

All the floors were soaked right through and there was mud. Lot’s of it. And a smell.

A rotten stench, like decay. Then I saw all the cupboards and trunks had been flung open. Sure enough, all my good silver. All my heirlooms. Gone.

Stolen! Everything had been ransacked and nothing was seen.’

Neighbors had met out on the banks of the of the swamp after police suggested the footprints ended there. ‘ I remember we just sort of looked at each other confused. What could be living in the Swamp that had a lust for jewels and silver?

Why?’ Some in the town were more uneasy about the connection than others. ‘I looked at my wife and she knew. We both did.’

Clyde Usi poked his fire and recounted the old legend that he used to hear about when he was a boy, ‘No one talks about it anymore

5 9 D e r o s S q . , Te w k s b e r r y

but there was a hermit living in the Swamps.

Some say he was a murderer others a thief.

Whatever he was— he wasn’t welcome in town. But later on, as the town grew, people stopped talking about him and new people came in and that story just died out. Then they started to build the Cakes of Shady Grove.’

The houses that line the Merla Swamp are called the Cakes of Shady Grove due to their monstrous proportions and decadent decorations that closely resemble icing. They are large and pastel in coloring and stand out

against the moonlighted sky rich and inviting and almost like you want to take a bite and Clyde Usi thinks the hermit did just that.

‘They built those houses right on his swamp where he lived for anyone knows how long and it’s his revenge. Then he stole a wife, too.

Who knows where he’ll stop.’

For now, the pumpkins and cupcakes dotted with candles are set off on their own procession, hoping to collect the attention of the Swamp Thief and remind him that we, too have things we treasure.

Swope DeBoe’s MiraGro Hair Wash

tle s u r b t a h t s Bristle e! if l h t i w

Families Wait full O’ Hope for Hallowe’en H

allowe’en is many things to many people and for many different reason but for the families that have a vanished loved one Hallowe’en remains, Hope.

They gather at Peckover’s Apple Orchard in Vavrin, anticipating the Witching hour for when Fairy Captives are released back to their families.

Worried faces, wringing hands and darting eyes are common place and when the hour approaches silence shuffles around. Large holes polka dot the orchard and suddenly movement arises from within and living forms appear. All around, reunions erupt and the sombre, worrisome atmosphere turns joyous, for some.

For others, it’s just another year of Hope turned to Disappointment. ‘We’ve been coming for the last 5 years,’ says the Arbuchle

family of Pine Swamp who lost their daughter while she was playing on a grassy knoll with friends. 2 out of 3 of the friends have come back but due to strict fairy protocol they aren’t allowed to either describe or explain what happened to anyone at anytime. ‘We just keep coming back, but we think this year she’ll come. We always have a basket of fruits and nuts and her favorite toys although her other friends were all grown up!’

While captives can be much altered in appearance it isn’t always Father Time that’s changed them, ‘When my little Tomothy was returned to me, he smelled just like fairy waters and was even more beautiful than before!’ said Arbella Stoll.

Then there’s the case of the changeling child who was returned back to his birth parents 200 lbs. heavier and speaking a strange dia-

lect, one they hadn’t heard before.

‘

...When my little Tomothy was returned to me, he smelled just like fairy waters

,

And my Earl was bald as a biscuit! Now he’s got this fancy- schmancy hair but it’ll do, it’ll do,’ said a beaming Karen Cahail who has just reunited with her husband who finally decided to return after 12 years.’

Unfortunately, it is also true that some families have been coming here far longer then the customary average of 7 years.

‘We’ve waited 21 years for our father,’ said the Mahoney family who were just in the process of packing up their welcome baskets and returning home. ‘He’s probably having too much fun and has forgotten about us although we haven’t forgotten about him.’

That sparks the painful question that everyone’s been discussing since the beginning of spiriting away: why can’t the captives at least send a post card once in a while?

But the fairies won’t budge on that respect so the torment continues and without torment it wouldn’t really be a proper ‘spiriting away,’ would it?

Possessed Statue Harasses LeRoy Residents

he council of the town of Pindly have denied Orlean Hardesty’s recent request to purchase Hollowman Lake stating that townsfolk believe the local legend that an Ancient City is deep beneath the surface and that they will not decide over them nor speak of their wishes so therefore the water may not be purchased. However, they did allow Hardesty to purchase 3/4’ s of the surrounding bank with the remainder to be preserved as a beach for townsfolk.

Orlean Hardesty is planning on appealing

2 - Autumn ‘09

what he calls, ‘these absurd, superstitious claims that should have no bearing on properties.’

His appeal will be difficult as a large majority of Pindlyans not only agree but refuse to budge on their decision, no matter the Price or Reason.

In recent weeks, Mr. Hardesty’s reasons have grown increasingly picturesque finding finally a home in his claim to want to construct a, ‘floating greenhouse to display the many wondrous species of water lilies Hollowman Lake boasts but many nearby residents scoff

at this, ‘a floating greenhouse for us?’ said Bina Bouta, ‘more like he wants to get under that surface and search for some treasure in that town..’

But others, familiar with the many macabre Legends of Hollowman Lake argue that that would be Silly & Stupid.

Time will tell if Orlean Hardesty is either of the Above—

MAIN

Brunch d r Bi

y - Early n o

Hollowman Lakes not for Sale

se - 377 B ou H

T

proceed with the statue.

Townsfolk have had an en masse ignoring session which utterly flopped as the statue was well aware what they were up to. They’ve thrown rocks at him that prompted hilarious crying fits and crocodile tears. They’ve dumped boiling water on him, tried freezing him and whipping him with stinging nettles and of course, they tried to roast the statue over a large pit, all to no avail. The next step will require a larger commitment, one that many unions and historians are denouncing.

‘It is possible that the only way to rid ourselves of this nuisance, once and for all, is to drop the thing from an undetermined height. Smash him into a million pieces. That’s all we have left,’ concluded the Mayor.

In the meantime, LeRoy is enjoying a current flux of tourism; curious on-lookers who risk their brave souls in front of the menacing monument.

Blvd. - A sy d et

‘H

ey Ugly!’ or ‘Fat Sack!’ are some of the things you may hear if lucky enough to be passing through Withie Square in LeRoy and beneath the statue of Deon Burling, a historical LeRoyan scholar of yesteryear.

‘Pssssst, I know something secret about you!’ the statue has been known to whisper while gathering curious spectators around with his whistling and then revealing shocking, mostly untrue things­— ‘Yes, it’s become a real nuisance,’ agreed LeRoy mayor, Sylvester Bessy, ‘Everyone’s at risk. And y’know, we’ve tried to rid the statue of possession. It’s not actually Deon Burling talking, just to clarify— It’s some unidentified something that delights in others humiliation. What does it want?

Why won’t it leave our fair town alone? Well, he says he won’t leave until he’s melted down into a fancy boot! But no, we’re not so dumb as to fall for that. Before you’d know it, we’d be insulted by an old boot!’

Talks are currently being held in how to

theFiligree.com

Baby Monster Abandoned in Blaine B

urch and Clara Easley walked home from a dinner with friends late Saturday night when they happened upon a lost and crying baby monster wondering around beside the road.

‘It was terrible!’ Clara said, ‘the little dear was soaked right through. We couldn’t see where his tears endt and the rain began and we kept expecting at any moment for his mother to come out of the Shadows with a perfectly good explanation as to why she’d abandoned him but, well­— we’re still waiting.’

After checking around and calling out they took his hand and brought him back to their warm house which was just around the bend and alerted police. ‘The police were unable to come up with any clue and they wanted to take him off to some orphanage meanwhile but we said, thanks very much, that’ll do.

You’ll search and we will, too but until then he stays with us.’

He was then filled with warm cider and cakes and wrapped in plenty of blankets before the fire and they passed that first night reading stories with him. ‘It seemed to calm him down.’

‘

...We couldn’t see where his tears endt and the rain began

,

Since then, not a trace or word has been heard from the monsters mommy or anyone, for that matter. The Easley’s wait, ‘but we also dread it!’ laughed Burch who watched ‘Seonag’ run around with some neighborhood animals in the backyard.

‘We have all his favorite foods and have made a really nice room for him. Seonag won’t sleep in the bed, he likes to sleep on a dirty floor but we’re in the process of teaching him good hygiene. We won’t turn him into ‘our kind’ we want to respect where he comes from but next year he’ll be ready for school and there’s rules against him smelling like dirty, wet fur!’

‘Seonag’ photo courtesy of Honesdale Police Dept.

The Madness at Murdock Glen musings by Dr. Thaddeus Faulk

T

hey say Madness is a strange malady.

One that suddenly strikes or one that silently sneaks up and settles in the bones of its victims.

One day you can look around you and realize that you are the only sane one left.

Wondering around my ancestral town last year, that was strangely how I felt. Eyes were glossy and snatched out at me from behind curtains that would suddenly yank shut. The people that I’d remembered as smiling and so friendly in my youth, seemed grey and lifeless and rattled with tremors and sudden bouts of Shyness. Sleeping in my parents home after a bizarre homecoming, the shadows in my old room, seemed to flitter and I heard random shrieks throughout the night. It was these uncanny shriekings that pulled me from my bed into the streets to investigate. It was there I greeted madness full on. Men and women and children, dogs and cats seemed to roam

theFiligree.com

the streets sleepless and whimpering, there was a full moon above and it seemed to add a cold, powdery light to these people, that seemed preoccupied with searching the ground. It was as if I looked at them through a prism of a story book. Then the shriekings and I realized that these people weren’t only strange and crazy but they were in severe pain.

Something seemed to gnaw at them from the inside. But what was it? I snuck back into my room and thought about it the whole night.

An entire town ensnarled in riddles.

‘

...A simple yet rare mistake that resulted in Madness

,

The next morning rose even grayer than the first and I left my parents behind with an excuse to meet up with old friends. My ‘old friends’ were scientists at the local university that didn’t know I was coming and hidden deep in my coat was a sample of the groundwater. Looking back, it all seems too obvious.

The tell tale signs on the towns folks faces, the stench in the air. Even the macabre meal my own parents served me seemed to make sense as I stared at the water that seemed too have a metallic undertone. Meeting with the scientists later, we instantly decided to run a series of tests. And the rest is history: Murdock Glen had been slowly poisoned by the Innocent cemetery that sat in the center of its town. Organic bacteria originating from rotting corpses leaked out into the soil in which rain water rushed it into the porous dark wells of families that were thirsty. A simple yet rare mistake that resulted in Madness. It’s not ev-

MAIN

ery town that surrounds it’s cemetery so cozily like my own of Murdock Glen, and it isn’t every town that receives its drinking water from wells. Murdock Glen won’t now either. When it was seized and shut down last month, the panic was indescribable. The houses were boarded up, quarantined as were the inhabitants, be it human, insect or animal. All save but the ghosts whose rotting corpses were actually to blame. The madness can be healed and injected with fresh nutrients; the wrinkles of anxiety can be smoothed away and sanity can and will be ushered in. But nothing can take from me those horrible images of when madness ruled over my old town and nothing can soothe or quiet the incessant shriekings from within my own head, and sometimes I wonder if that’s where true madness lies: the inability to cure it.

Autumn ‘09 - 3

No Closure for Families as Concordia Trial still Delayed F

amilies of victims of the Concordia passenger ship that was sunk last Spring off the coast of Bayonne, may have to wait even longer to discover what happened on that tragic night.

‘It’s terrible, all of this waiting. All this red tape. Why they can’t figure it out, I’ll never know. I just hope they do.’ said Lynn Atwood, whose brother was on the sinking ship.

But red tape is not all that’s involved. Secretly, lawyers were over the moon when the girls were Ok’d to be extradited to Bayonne last Spring and most of them believed that the most difficult hurdle had been surpassed.

‘Sure. Juvenile mermaids extradited to Land? To be tried on Land? For a crime committed against Land? Yes, this is serious stuff and it means the evidence is there. It is.’ said, defence attorney, Ashley Kent. However,

other potential problems include the delicate relations between the Nolans & Land which many have gone so far as to call a ticking time bomb and once the trial begins, there’s no guarantee how long it will take. ‘This will be the case of the year—’ added Kent, ‘and I believe that other evidence is going to come out. I believe it’s not so easy as 5 mischievous teenage girls that tampered with a big passenger ship rudder. There’s evidence, sure— but what really happened is what everyone, on Land and down there, are scrambling to answer.’

But the answers lay hidden, sunk beneath the heavy weight of the monstrous Concordia and hidden in the canals of 5 teenage brains that await their trial from behind bars in the Bayonne county Jail.

Some Gossip

likely that Mr. Aydelotte had robbed a grave and stolen a personal diary from a coffin but that he had almost positively copied the diary in its entirety and slapped the name, ‘Neverty’ on the cover and called it a Best-seller! How could we not report the story? For us, it was clearly news worthy and investigative reporting at its finest! We’re sorry to Thaine Aydelotte but even sorrier to the poor woman who has still yet to receive any credit for her own Life’s story.

May she be Avenged!

The story can be found on pg. 4 Summer ‘09 of the Filigree.

R

ecently, the Filigree has been the target for many a frustrated Artist, Author or Actor to vent their anger over past unflattering write-ups. Therefore, our new column entitled, ‘some Gossip’ seeks to fling off the gauzy veil on the rumors and sort through fact and fiction and get to the bottom of the real story and simply present the truth as only the Filigree can.

H

ow many letters poured through our newspaper headquarters when the story about bestselling novelist, Thaine Aydelotte recent plagiarism and grave robbing rumors hit the newsstands! Impassioned fans demanded to know how we dared to print such a false story about their beloved author who had written such all time favorites like ‘Neverty,’ ‘Rhea’s End’ and ‘Lake of Jewels’. How could we? We asked ourselves if they had even read the article!

Before printing we triple checked our sources and they confirmed that not only was it highly

O

ur second case study looks at Velvet Stone, reviewed in the Spring ‘09 edition on pg. 11 the article though short does it’s fair share of damage to Velvet Hoof’s new album, ‘Stone’: ‘ Though it has its moments of genuine inspiration & true glimpses of madness, ‘stone’ falls short and leaves the listener entangled and drowning in the unrealized ghost of the conceptual idea,...’

On first glimpse, this review would merit anger from any artist that spent the time it required to make ‘Stone’ however on first listen there is really nothing else to take from the album than the final conclusion as above stated. The Filigree immediately heard from Velvet Hoof’s manager and then later, Stephanie Green herself that insisted we remove the review from the paper, which naturally we refused to do. Til this day, it remains firmly pg. 11 news. We did conduct our own study of

over 33 listeners and had them each write up a quick essay about how, ‘Stone’ made them feel. The results were astounding! Many felt weighted down by the singers ideas and felt, ‘intimidated by the concept’ and Stephanie Green received only 4 positive reviews out of all the listeners. So, perhaps she should vent her frustrations in the studio and maybe work a little harder on her concepts instead of chasing every negative review around.

O

n a more positive note, Buffington’s Kettle Cake Caboose, if not already spilling with its own devoted customers, found after the recent radiant write up here in the Filigree, that they were forced to extend their hours to satisfy all the Pancake craving Patrons! Glad to be of service!

Buffington’s Kettle Cake Caboose, Summer ‘09 pg. 10

T

his next case in study has neither to do with Art or Authoring but rather the heated dispute between the Vavrinia Fun Park in Peoria and the DeadResters of Tasty Meadows. The DeadResters of course, claim that there’s no way they can rest with all the fun being had over at the park and that it is infringing on the R.I.P act 1013 (every creatures right to a peaceful rest) while Vavrinia counters with ‘tough luck! Here’s some free Fun Park passes for you & your family!’

Or did they? Many at the park say that that is a bogus claim thought up by the DeadResters to make the park seem, ‘unsympathetic’ and ‘out of touch’ and our newspaper was

bombarded with vicious threats with fanciful lawyerly talk. However, the Filigree did some of their own digging and no, it didn’t take 6 feet. Sources led us to tax returns that clearly showed the passes had been written off as ‘charity’ donations made to the DeadResters.

Since it was in fact a ‘charity donation’ those tax files were available to the public and these new facts should help put that dispute to rest.

As for the bigger case at hand, it has yet to see the Light of a Court. pg. 4, Spring ‘09 ‘DeadResters Annoyed by Fun’

F

inally, there has been an unimaginable amount of mail pertaining to the Summer ‘09 story of, Lady Lacers vs. Spider Lacers, pg. 3. To make perfectly clear in black and white the Filigree made no such endorsement of the special powers of Spider Lacers as opposed to the ancient secrets of the Lady Lacers.

We simply tried to present both sides of the story and if it seemed we were endorsing one or the other, we apologize as we have voiced no such opinion. Let it be made clear, however that the general population has endorsed a price point for fine Laces and that falls in line with what the Spiders are offering. For strong, intricate Lace, it would seem through our research that the majority concurred it lay with the Ladies.

We look very much forward to next seasons misunderstandings!

Faithfully your Editor-in-Chief, Celena Cavala

ATTICA PIER 4 - Autumn ‘09

MAIN

theFiligree.com

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? ScareCrow Socialites Still Vanished

T

he picture is of a happy smiling couple, dressed to the nines with a ramshackle house behind them. The woman kicks her leg out laughing while the man grins from ear to ear. The picture freezes them in a moment of suspended bliss without a care for the future or a care in this world­— Flash forward in the future 3 years and that picture is still in the minds of fans and competitors from far and wide as they gather for the annual Scarecrow weekend games in November. The crowds try to build the excitement, the decorations are just right and the contesters are just as good, if not better than they have always been, but somehow it’s not the same as when Moni and Podja played.

‘As soon as they hit the field their star quality was unmistakable.

Charisma? They had it in oodles, ‘ said coach and for mer mentor, Mattie Shipp, ‘Then there was their private lives.

They had everyone following their every move and what they wore, where they went.

People would become so enthralled with them that by the time they’d float down onto the fields in November and the crowds were uproarious and then, well, the crowds were scared! Because they would forget that hey! ...these people are Scarecrows, that’s what they do.’

And what they did— they did it well. Rarely walking away without the Gold, Moni and

‘

...these people are Scarecrows– that’s what they do

,

Podja were sought out region round and failed to disappoint. They could make even the coldest, hardest hearted vulture’s blood run icier. They could take a starving bear about to pluck a pumpkin and shoo him away screaming and they could make men armed with ridiculous weapons weep for their lives, but how?

‘How?’ said former rival and close friend, Fanny Tramell, ‘they were gifted for starters and worked phenomenally well together and they had some of the most terrifying routines in the business and well, the games will never be the same without them.’

So what happened? Why was it that one day they simply vanished into thin air without another word or trace? Was it the stress that got to them, the attention, the ever glow of the limelight? Too many questions swirl between the spectators and the sport causing a gauzy veil that many have called, distracting.

But that won’t stop the Scarecrow’s out at Brewington’s Field from gathering in attempts to entertain with terror and many hope that this will be the year that the 2 smiling faces from that picture of the past will transpire into the present.

Moni & Podja as many remember them.

Sea Skeletons & Watery Waltzes O

ctober always holds a special place in the heart of the Nolans. Not only is it the time of respectful silence for the Dead upon land but also the respect runs deep beneath the Waters surface. For the shipwrecked it’s a time of Joyous re-animation and mingling. Fashions are made based upon what many decide to wear during the Watery Waltzes in October. The living from all walks of life come to watch the dances or perhaps to get a chance to greet a long, lost relative. Horns and Strings accompany their misty movements and the events are catered by some of the regions most renown Chefs but the question remains to be asked, ‘will they come?’

‘They’, the Concordia Passenger ship that was sunk just off the coast of Bayonne last Spring, will not be far off from festivities and would make a curious addition to the parties so many wonder, why not? ‘Why not?’

asked merman, Felix Paki, ‘Would you? The Accused are from around here and would you want everyone asking you a million questions?’ But psycho-analyst Lynn Ruskin argues that, ‘The first year may be difficult for some of the skeletons but it’s important from a point of therapy that they integrate into this next phase of Life.’

Many agree that Sea Skeletons are notorious for not bearing grudges and are able to sling off their pre-death problems at a whim especially in exchange for some good music, costumes and dancing and besides, they say, ‘the only thing holding them back is the state of their decomposing, it’s a vain skeleton thing.’

The Waltzes do make for an irresistible allure for even the most bitter stiff— Moonlight trickles down like silvery ribbons and everyone is in good cheer. There are Hundreds of spectators, awards given for all sorts of

mundane things and gallons of respect are just some of the things to entice them to come from all over the Nolans, far and wide.

Misted gown boutiques are already working overtime to try to fit the many fine dames who will finally have a chance to exhibit their sense of style perhaps just once, this year.

The gowns are designed especially to leave gorgeous floating trails that encircle and entwine the dancers creating an illusion of smoke which the onlookers can only describe as, ‘hypnotic.’ The tuxedos are no less finer and silhouette the light gowns perfectly.

‘I’ve never tasted a better champagne in all my life! They put something funny in there’ said DeeDee Framman, who most certainly looks forward to rubbing elbows with the skeletons. ‘I wouldn’t dream of asking them about their deaths. No, we are there to celebrate their Lives and besides we all know its touche’, we learn that in Sea Skeleton 101!’

< Navigation Necklaces by Miss Nettie Hamby

Miss Nettie Hamby, daughter of prominent ground-breaking Scientist Finnis Hamby, has discovered a way to never get Lost,...

‘Simply wear your Navigation Necklace and you will never more Fear, help will be Near!’

The necklaces, decorated with Nettie’s own precious little works of Art, can range from inexpensive Tin to priceless Jewels on immaculately crafted silver chains. Each are presented in a gorgeous velvet and satin box and come with carefully explained instructions, a user booklet and the much coveted signature of Miss Hamby, stating its authenticity.

theFiligree.com

RECREA.

Autumn ‘09 - 5

Dare to be Scared?

W

hile the days shorten and become icier, far below down in the caves the temperature remains a pleasant 58 degrees year round making them a popular recreation destination for Fall and Winter. As leaves fall and blow away above, the beautiful Moultries offer a different kind of challenge: Caverns that can make even the bravest of the brave tremble in fear and ghost towns the like which have never been seen.

For interested Thrill Seekers, the journey this year will be an old abandoned ghost town called Mosegin which sits carved and built out of the cave walls and overlooks the Golay lagoon. Mosegin was settled more than 200 years ago and then later abandoned and

is now on the historical registry of severely haunted places. It usually is not open to the public due to reputation and the risk involved but the Moultries will make an exception at the end of October for a full weekend of Fear. The town itself is a gorgeous spectacle to behold as each house is carefully carved in an ornate Moultrian fashion reflective of its time with small winding roads that lead to old, abandoned post offices, theaters and watering holes. The houses have great verandas that peek out over the serene clear waters below. And of course, there is your usual ghost that goes about his business or a crimson spot that appears suddenly only to disappear later and naturally there is no shortage of cold

gusts of wind but there is something else that distinguishes Mosegin from the other ghost towns and that’s: Toothless Timmy.

Legend tells the story of a toothless freak the town ousted due to his horrible deformities and later was rumored to have fallen down a long, dark cave hole where he starved to death with revenge on his mind when Death came for him. Mosegin, soon after became the stomping grounds for Toothless Timmy which many fault for the ultimate decay of Mosegin. Whatever the cause, horrible stories have circulated for the last couple hundred of years based upon Timmy. Fires have erupted spontaneously and even creepier, teeth have been found scattered as if they left a trail that

was meant to be followed. Townsfolk would find a tooth beneath their pillow and rumor would have it that when that happened you were the next to bear the brunt of the Terrible Hauntings of Toothless Timmy.

While other apparitions may continue unknowingly with the same chores they had in day to day life seemingly unaware of anyone else, Toothless Timmy is said to be acutely aware of Living Beings and has a finely tuned sense for Fear that he thrives on.

Daredevils that think they can spend the night in the cavernous ghost town are all welcome to it, the final weekend in October.

1st, 2nd and 3rd prizes are supposed to be Magnificent.

Retreat brings Riddlecrafters out of the Woodworks S

torey Foote’s stunning Riddle Craft success in Keeldura Hall last Summer prompted him along with the Riddle Craft Society to create a full blown Riddle Craft Retreat that will spawn a good part of the Chabra Falls during the month of November.

In Keeldura, enthusiastic riddlers twisted logic and presented reality cloaked in bizarre costumes of words and frankly, many in the society were amazed at the turnout, Professor Storey Foote, no exception.

‘

...Riddles, of course, are infectious & terribly addictive

,

‘Riddlers from all walks of life, young and old, advanced and amateur spilled out into the streets in a sort of hypnotic riddling haze,’ Foote said, ‘Riddles of course are infectious and terribly addictive, this we know, but this collective riddling verged on madness and was quite a spectacle! I was able to ask someone, I believe he was a complete beginner, about the three roots and receive promptly an apple in my palm without another look or question!’

It is true that the development of riddles is in itself a riddle, ‘It’s almost like mind-reading now!’ laughed advanced riddler, Carel Slavin, ‘it’s finding ways to break free from convention and be as illogical and absurd as possible and hope that the other person gets

6 - Autumn ‘09

it. Kinda like intuition has become the main technical ingredient with the craft, no more will you hear riddles of yester-day like, How does the Cheese seller look when conducting a sale? Now, it’s more like why did the cheese seller wear striped blue and red socks while baking bread, then sleep in the middle of the dough? Because a purple dawn did rise? If you’re able to see the absurd common sense in the 2 colors as well as a sleepy cheese seller and bread that rises, you can move on to the next riddle. It’s wonderfully exhilarating and yes, completely pointless!’

Perhaps it’s pointless to some but to others it’s the reason for their existence. ‘I wake up from riddled dreams to a riddled reality, and in between there are connections that makes the reason for riddling. I cannot wait for the retreat!’ said enthusiast, Tabitha Clabber.

She will not have to wait long. Every weekend during the month of November Chabra Falls will join forces with the Moultrian Caves at Minadarko to host an expansive retreat that promises to be challenging for even the most advanced riddler. ‘We’ve got complex riddle relays in place birthed by myself as well as Fay Staggoni, Ferely Kitt and Rodney Railsback that will lead riddlers into strange predicaments that only their wits will get them out of again. Nothing over the top dangerous but certainly enough to keep the blood pumping.’

Prof. Foote said.

Riddlers Region Round are invited to sign up for the retreat in 4 separate packages or attend all 4 weekends. All pertinent forms can be picked up at local community centers and mailed to Prof. Storey Foote P.O. Box 147 Minadarko deadline October 24th.

RIDDLE RETREAT

RIDDLE RETREAT

WITH PF. STOREY FOOT

RECREA.

AUTUMN ‘09

theFiligree.com

Autumns ShapeShifting in Stelle Hollow T

he hilarious games of ShapeShifting are on in Stelle Hollow and will run nightly 6-12 p.m. for the entire week. Contestants are slowly dwindled down to the best pairs. As of now, 30 pairs remain who represent some of the best ShapeShifters the region has to offer.

As of Monday, 20 pairs have been eliminated due to slow times or failure to meet challenges.

One surprise cut was, Lynch & Brasher, a crowd favorite who failed the Shapeshiftinginto-Horse-Bobbing-for-Apples game. It was clear to spectators and judges alike that the Horse form was not a comfortable one to them and not only were they unable to obtain the apple but wouldn’t have been able to pass it form neck to neck if they had. The Montgomery- Gill team made a ridiculous scene when they were to ShapeShift into Brooms and jump through cornfields that were set up as an obstacle course. Not only did they continuously fall causing uproarious laughter but they banged and clanked into anything in sight and to put it mildly, could not handle that shape in the slightest. It was here that the Zeptha-Lorry team really distinguished themselves as frontrunners by wonderfully high soars and twirls as well as putting on these little fantastic sweeping dances that Awwed the audience. As to be expected with the very challenging relays, there are truly excellent entertainers that use both great skill & technique to finish obstacles and then there are others that may either have had a bad day or may simply just not be up to the task by not knowing how to adequately handle their shapes and that is how the winners are plucked out from the losers.

Brilliant October Stars & Longer Nights Star Gazing is the Seasons Amusement

theFiligree.com

The Jack-o’-lantern Jumping was as ridiculous as always and a great crowd pleaser.

Everyone waited to see how the faces would be carved and when the jumping races began it was really a treat to see the many pumpkins hopping down the hillside, racing to make it to the end with their flickering flames still intact. As silly as it sounds, Jack-o’-lantern jumping has proved to be one of the biggest challenges to past ShapeShifters as they have to be quick to design a carved face that is both amusing and won’t allow too much air in to snuff out the candle flame.

The Roxie-Clower team won this with their graceful execution of a sad, confused mime that allowed their candle to burn brightly.

‘

...Jack-o’-lantern jumping has proved to be one of the biggest challenges to past ShapeShifters

,

Then there was the much loved Scarecrow Waltzes which instantly saw 3 pairs sent home as they were sorely unequipped to dance with one another in that form. It didn’t take long for the open air amphitheater’s dance floor to be strewn with hay, dry leaves and other oddities one wouldn’t expect a Scarecrow to

W

ith the intensity of Summer’s heat just behind us, we can look ahead to the rich colors of Autumn and the cooling breezes that carry a hint of apple and cinnamon for a bit of welcome relief. Forests will turn ablaze and soon rain down their firey storm of leaves and the hillsides will turn from green to gold. The once fierce sun of August will be a haven of warmth and it will shine with a different kind of light. Gone are the sharp yellow lines and bright contrasts and in its place are the powder shadows that only an Autumn sun can cast. The sun on its way southward will flock with the birds, always far away to some distant warm land that is so popular this time of year and in Story Books.

Instead, while she is here we are happy for a bit of light to cut through the grey of the upcoming Winter.

The October skies with their wisps of cotton clouds that chase the sun southward into an exquisite sunset are not to be missed and are perhaps, the most lovely of all 12 months.

be stuffed with like candy, bread rolls and even more alarming rotten apples that lent an extra challenge to the dancers trying to avoid them. The Lowry-Lowan team were marvellous to behold with their decked out gown and suit and the Scarecrow form seemed effortless to them. They were naturally a crowd pleaser but it is to be said that nothing pleases a crowd more than funnily dressed Scarecrows that dance on rubbery legs while their partners sort of drags them across the floor as if sweeping. There was a constant, contagious giggling to be heard and many pointed fingers. The Waltzes continued late into the night seeing the audience join in as well as some judges. Many tired scarecrows could be spotted strewn on benches or under trees.

Tomorrow evening, more challenges are to be confronted. There is the Black Cat challenge, where contestants must cross a thick swamp on mossy stones in cat form and there is the ever challenging Bird-performingCharades which contestant will morph into their favorite feathered friends and then pick a word from a hat and have to make their team member get it through wild movements and squawking and talon waving. The flying vampire races and obstacle course will be on Friday along with the most popular of all, the Final Werewolf Bonanza. It is yet to be revealed the exact challenge but past competitions has seen shifters morph into frightful werewolves put in absurd situations like pumpkin carving or cookie baking to start the games off and then later developing into much more challenging and awesome feats.

All are Welcome!

The Blood Moon is known to make his appearance this time of year, hovering just above the horizon and lighting all Nature around in its piercing red glow. The clouds are known to put on a breathtaking dance of beauty under the Blood moon as it is so rare and a more fascinating spectacle is hard pressed to find.

These October sunsets are particularly friendly to the stars. After their thundering Opera the gently twinkle of the stars suddenly appears and the twilight waltzes them up, up to the top for everyone to marvel at.

It is true, the October Opera is anything but somber. Whoever tried to dress it up as dark and dreary must be looking down and not up for there is no better time than now, to dig out your favorite quilt and simply lie beneath the stars and gaze, picking out your own constellations and stories. An animal friend is a wonderful companion to the modern day star gazer as is an apple, warm caramel— optional.

RECREA.

Autumn ‘09 - 7

Carivell University Hosts International Inventors Day C

arivell University hosts the International Inventors Day on Wed. December 9th & 10th from 10 a.m til 8 p.m. and will include many exciting exhibitions of Cutting Edge inventions. A series of Seminars and Lectures will spot the day and we will also hear from last years winner, Roy Milliard whose winning invention, ‘the Warm Film’ sent a ripple through last years show. During its unveiling which was highly anticipated not only in inventors circles but also in underground ones, an astounding 1500 people from all walks of Life came to see it in all of its glory doing what only ‘the Warm Film’ can do: that is, of course, take living pictures.

Mr. Milliard’s lecture will take us back

to his garage when he only had an idea and very little funding. He’ll take enthusiasts step by step through the difficult and sometimes gruesome patent processes and deliver them, finally to the light, which is ideally a Great Success like the one he himself has experienced. Not every inventor is as lucky to come up with a brilliant idea coupled with funding and sprinkled with the most precious ingredient of all, Time, but there are many alternative routes an inventor can take today, thanks in part to the International Inventors Day. No matter Age or Creed or Resources every inventor will have a chance to show his work and rub elbows with sponsors looking for the next, Warm Film.

There will also be no shortage of demonstra-

tions held this year by internationally renown inventors and they will headline many seminars that will range anywhere from creative innovation to selling your idea as well as the many avenues one can travel to find sufficient support both monetarily and emotionally. ‘Many people don’t realize what stresses an inventor endures,’ Roy Milliard said last year, ‘things from all walks of Life attack your dreams and you’ve just got to hold on to it. Sometimes it’s all you have.’

The inventors Guild of Sangamon Forest aims to be a support for them. Every weekend at the Pontabry community center, Sangamon will open its doors to inventors, offering advice, good times and food.

State of the Art Haunting Old School Style at Vic’s Meatatorium I

n the mood for something horrifyingly unusual and shockingly well researched?

Then come to Vic’s Meatorium inVelpen where Vic himself will be happy to Greet you or Eat you­­­­­‑— ‘No, no,..I will not be eating any customers,’ laughs Vic while holding his recently displaced jaw in one hand, ‘paying customers that is,...’

‘

...if something was to happen, then you could always get a job here!

,

Vic Sommers, freshly rotting Zombie has spent the last 6 mos. since his foray into Zombie Hood literally pouring over books on the best scare tactics in the business as well as coming up with a few new tricks himself, ‘My mother-in-law doesn’t scare too easily so if something works on her than I make a note of it. Some of the best scares are easy and old fashioned, like a mirror falling or a madman wielding an ax.’

But that’s not all is takes and Vic knows that and that’s why he’s hired some of the best in the business, giving work to a whole host of unemployed, air clogging creatures.

‘Uh, let’s see before Vic’s I sorta moaned around my old house- not out of agony or any-

8 - Autumn ‘09

thing romantic like that more out of boredom’ said, Pearl DeForeste of Broken Bell Lane in Quinby.

But Ghosts don’t come cheap, especially those that have real agony like Arman Higbee who was discovered horrendously bloated in Tullar Lake 2 months after his brutal drowning, ‘oh yeah. When he roars he means it,’ chuckles Vic, ‘and people go running for their lives. He seriously has a chip on his shoulder and it cost me a way more than a pretty penny‑‑ it cost me my warm grave for an entire year, but hey, I’m a Zombie, I’m easy.’

If ghosts don’t scare you then there are plenty of other scaretrocities that are aimed at chilling the spine. Lots of wiggling and worming hooked meat that has been severely enchanted with one mission on its mind: to get you. And it’s here, where the Meatatorium is not for the scare- easies: an entire warehouse full of the rotting, maggot infested, wiggling flesh with an attitude. ‘I learned through most of my studies that hunks of flesh terrified like nothing else and enchanted flesh triples the terror!’

There are those sights and many more to be had for the brave that signs his name on the dotted line and relinquishes all responsibility.

‘None of the meat should touch the passer by but if one gets a squirt of some blood or a shiny razor slices a little too close, I don’t want it to be my fault!

But rest assured, if something was to happen, then you could always get a job here!’

A&E

theFiligree.com

Saphronia Quinby’s Sensational Debut S

pectators that made the annual pilgrimage to Dauphin Wood to see its production of Giselle last Summer, they were not disappointed. ‘Oh no, when Saphronia came out on stage everything shifted. She was a star and her technique was astounding,’ said Patron of the Arts, Lillian Slaton, ‘and her metamorphosis in Act 2 was equally as astounding.’

Saphronia Quinby, a mysterious enigmatic ballerina who burst onto the stage for the Giselle audition last Winter in Dauphin Wood became what many would call a star overnight while others argued that in Ballet, there are no overnight stars.

Adelbert Beasley, artistic director of the Bayonne Ballet, was the first to guess that she would be tapped to star in the production after seeing her marvelously, captivating audition. To Adelbert and many others, it was obvious Saphronia had not only worked very hard at her ballet classes but that she possessed something else, something unique and that other worldly feeling soon revealed itself during the premier performance of Giselle.

Young miss Quinby displayed far more than her years in the famous Mad Scene. Shrieks emanated from her, piercing and stunning the entire wood and insane giggling bubbled up confusing the audience yet she hadn’t said a word. Her dance steps careful and cautious, seemed erratic and ridiculous and made all increasingly uncomfortable and sit at the edge of their seats and just when the tension couldn’t get any worse she collapsed relieving but puzzling the audience.

‘The death scene was very strange. It was silent for a moment and then we couldn’t believe our eyes as she peeled away from her body and her wispy soul danced off stage. The audience, with myself and other seasoned veterans of dance included, were Stunned.’ Adelbert Beasley, recently said.

Saphronia Quinby displayed her hidden gift to a stunned audience Traditionally, Act 1 is danced by a splendidly Meat and Bones mortal who later passes the role in Act 2 onto a Ghost ballerina, Sylph or Fairy but never before has the same dancer been able to morph into both roles like

Saphronia Quinby did, opening the world of ballet up and making the young ballerina very much sought after. Saphronia shed her mortal skin and took the audience along with her.

AINSLIE T H E AT E R FA L L - W I N T E R SEASON

Hayrides to Haunted Horse Hill I

f you ever felt the tug of curiosity pulling you up to Haunted Horse Hill than there’s no better time to visit than the spectacular season of Autumn. Sitting as a Bald Hill surrounded by lush forest that are flame red and orange this time of year, Haunted Horse Hill offers another special attraction that not every breathtaking chunk of nature has: Ghost Horses.

Everyone will get a pail of apples and settle down into the sweet hay of the wagon as it twists its way up the narrow path through the forest. Everyone will join in on old folk songs and upon arrival, the air will shift

and change. Guests are warned not to get spooked if they suddenly hear a snort and a neigh close to their ear but instead to let the bright red apple sit atop their outstretched palms. Suddenly, something nibbles at it, nudging the hand with warm velveteen lips and as it eats the moon casts flickering silver light on its shiny mane.

The Ghost Horses are magnificent to behold and a definite treat for the whole Family.

Cider is warmed in large pots as well as a big pot of melted caramel for apple dipping and all will enjoy the twilight fade to evening in this sanctuary of Haunted Horse Hill.

Cave Slumber Party E

very weekend through the month of October, Moultrian Cave aficionados are welcome to join the Great slumber party in the cavernous ballrooms that stretch through Muglise. If not only for the immense natural beauty of the caves then for all the great events Muglise plans, included some immaculately decorated rooms. There will be masquerade balls with some of the best Moultrian bands every Saturday night, Moultrian storytelling as well as cave mermaids who

theFiligree.com

will hold small educational courses in rock jewelry making, which is sure to be hugely popular. Guided lantern lit tours will be held hourly ranging from beginner to advanced.

Costumes are strongly encouraged especially the last weekend in October where many Halloween surprises will take place, including cave trick or treating which is a region round favorite. Muglise’s shops will hold extended hours. All Welcome!

A&E

Autumn ‘09 - 9

TRICK OR TREAT!

new recipe book by Alice Elliot A

h, the Dead or ‘the Undead’ are soon to release their yearly pent up frustrations upon us in the cloak of a bit of so called ‘fun’ while we sit back, powerless and leave their favorite sweets on the porches in respectful dishes. Even tea, pleasantly kept warm by small candles. I have friends who will decorate tables with bunches of flowers and incenses so as to encourage their ‘good sides’. Other friends of mine who stop short at bending over backwards to ensure their visit is the most comfortable possible. I am no less a victim than they, so afraid am I of their barrels of powders and endless supply of soap. I frequent all their favorite misted cafeterias in search of the latest in deadly delicacies or spectral sweetmeats. I wait in line for ridiculous amounts of time just to procure large amounts of things with unfathomable names like, ‘baby howls’ and ‘granddaddy guts’, packaged in good taste yet still left wiggling warmly beneath my arm. I dump these absurdities into heirloom bowls, light a candle, lock my doors tight and wait for the pounding, hissing and giggling to begin. My husband and I often hide in the dark, I will admit, along with every other respectable person I know, in anticipation of the knockings that make the house rattle and shudder. We fall victim to the random racing of the heart and tingling suspense as everyone else does, until the house creaks in silence and many of the treats are gone and alas! — Our windows are not soaped nor our house bombed with powder. We breathe a sigh of relief. There was that Hallowe’en! But last year, I decided I was not going to conform anymore. I would not go to their favorite Hungry Haunts and wait in those lines and then later wait in fear

to see if I had gotten the right things. No siree, I was going to create a menu of my own ideas that would not only satisfy the mischievous, hungry fiends but also perhaps, give me marks in their books for good effort. It was a challenge and I felt up to it. I did months of research and huddled together with hag friends that specialized in food concocting.

I conducted a series of investigations in dead houses, crypts and mausoleums.

‘

...We had managed to make a bridge from here to there; a moment of Understanding

,

I learned outrageous things about ‘Limbo’ one never could have guessed from afar.

Their eating habits, what they cooked and what they craved. Some of it was disgusting while other bits were more traditional and shockingly normal. Not all cookies had to be made with 5 times the amount of spirit attracting aroma and the much loved banana bread didn’t always have to be half baked and raw.

The noises some vaporous cakes and cookies made was also easily mixed up and added to a mush. I discovered a few fundamental things about our finicky phantasms: they likes foods with a lot of Wow! and Shazam! the more Hootin’ and Hollerin’ the more Sparkly and Savory, the Brighter, the Glowier, the Flashier and Fancier, ...anything that would make them go, ‘‘‘ohhhhhh,...’ and the only people to supply this demand were the misted cafe’s operated by the Dead. But could a Living person deliver the treats just as well?

I was gonna find out. from here to there; a moment of understandI took my bundle of recipes and I, together ing and we had another year to perfect our with 3 good friends baked and baked, wispy, recipes and now, just in time for the years vaporous pillows of delights for our uninvited Havoc Wreaking they are ready, are you? guests. We filled them with shrieks and cack- Trick or Treat! ‘Terrible Treats to Tempt’ les and wrapped them in, and sprinkled them by Alice Elliot with ahhhhs, baked them simmering at a low temperature and placed them warmed in the heritage dishes the dead demand. Tall glasses of mixed to perfection intrigue were placed beside the candles and the bundles of fragrant herbs and we waited, secure in our recipes but filled with wonderment. The house was dark when the first screeches and laughs were heard far down at the Morte Torte Recipe end of the street. Each door was pounded and 3 3 (8 or 9 in.) white Fair dishes were dropped, Weather Cloud candles knocked over and a sound like a Laye Cakes prebaked train grew louder until, & cooled Pound, Pound! Myste3 4 cups thinly sliced rious whispers and conStrawberries in a lemon fusion, they scrambled sugar sauce for our cakes, ...a silent 3 1 cup shredded Ginger moment that seemed to 3 1 package of Featherby’s last an eternity. An as‘instant Fog Pudding Mix’ tonishing moment and 3 1 pail Rotting Apples then a shy knock and 3 1 gallon Howling Winds I opened the door to a small apparition who handed me the empty Directions: plate back and compliIn mixing bowl: beat mented the cakes, ‘reFeatherby’s instant Fog ally fabulous,’ he said Pudding Mix together with gallon of and to this day I’ll never Howling Winds until smooth and then forget that! My house carefully fold in shredded Ginger shone out that year as my other 2 neighbors got powdered and my Next: Mush Strawberries & rotten Apples together with a masher. friends and I rejoiced together. We had manThen: cube Fair Weather Cakes and use aged to make a bridge

half of them to line bottom of large cake pan. Cover cubes with mashed Strawberries and Apples then completely cover with Fog Ginger Wind Mixture.

Next: Sprinkle the remainder of cake cubes over the top, then cover. Bake at 200 degrees for 2 hours then remove cover the last 15 min. to brown the cake cubes.

Cool before serving.

Lantern & Carriage Tours at the Olde Cemetery in Attica The gorgeous Mt. Vibaid Cemetery in Attica will open its rusty gates every Saturday night during the Fall Season to offer lantern lit carriage rides as well as graveyard hootenannies with some of the cemetery’s inhabitants. Attica boasts many of the regions most famous musicians, artist and philosophers and when they die they usually offer up much entertainment for visitors of the olde cemetery.

Mt. Vibaid lending it an unusual selection

10 - Autumn ‘09

A&E

of DeadResters that many call ‘very entertaining.’ As the open air carriages twist and wind their way through the stunning grounds, guests will be greeted by many a trio that will sing of their Deaths and Lives in haunting rhythms. They’ve been known to swirl about carriages and tell stories in respectful tones as well as encourage lively dancing. The carriage rides will start after dark and light refreshments will be provided.

theFiligree.com

DeaDresses Fashion at Rashodi Hall

T

he Deadresses fashion show was catwalk to present a ‘Freshness’ while Ruby wearing short skirts on the other side. on at Rashodi Hall where fash- Cordray kept it more Somber and Classical Apart from all the extraordinary

ionistas, socialites and design junkies were in abundance. In recent years, the popularity of DeaDresses, i.e., what one is buried in and sometimes wears on into purgatory and in some cases even the Beyond, has grown tremendously in importance— ‘Honey! Is what I’m wearing for all eternity Important? Yes it is!’ said show-goer and shop-owner, Naomi Miles, who intends on devoting half of her shop to the DeaDresses alone as their popularity has grown so much.

The Dresses can range from sophisticated silhouettes to gaudy gowns weighted down with embellishments. ‘The embellishments are important and much sought after. Those buried in embellished dresses — you can still see them twinkling from beyond,’ another buyer said assuredly.

If the runway is any indiction, then the next season will not be short of any shimmering details. 4 designers offered up a stunning array of possibilities. Signey Stuere sent a lovely collection of whimsical florals down the

stating, ‘I don’t want to out death Death— I mean, that’s the ultimate fashionable statement.’ Sabina Sabin kept things sheer and gauzy encouraging the tormented haunter with trails of billowing chiffon and long sleeves that were made to float and beckon. Finally, in a break from all rhyme and reason Lizzie Orpha shocked the audience with his 5 pieces that were mini in dress and daringly young in Essence saying, ‘you’ve got to dare with Death!

And have fun! I’m all about fun!’

Hopefully, there will also be Fun Filled Phantasms that don’t mind

womens

wear,

the mens wear continues to take baby steps away from the heavy tradition of a nicely tailored suit by loosening a collar here and there and daring to change colors once in a while but hopefully they will soon demand of their designers a bit more Liberation in Limbo.

Ensemble & Head Piece both by, Ruby Cordray

Concert Series in Fair Moultrian Town a Success T

he Moultrian town of Mintady has kicked off its Season concert series which showcases some of the best comic Opera, Music theater and Dramatic talent the Caves have to offer.

Of particular interest was the long awaited return of Diadima Seward who had taken an artistic leave for the last 7 years to travel and collect inspiration for her roles. She was recently lured back, to the relief of her fans by the starring role in the long, promised Opera, Beeman’s Briar, by Miron Mirette. Already 10 showings have swept Mintady and the results look to be in: Positive by all accounts yet somehow falling short of the credit it completely deserves. Amongst many, their is a sensation that Mrs. Seward could never have lived up to those unrealistic expectations many of her most loyal fans had placed on her shoulders. Although her performance was stunning by all accounts she is after all, a mere mortal!

Then there was surprise hit, What Moon? written by newcomer, Nina Ferka which proved to be most original and well written without being overly sympathetic. Many of the characters were so intent on making fun of themselves that finally the public had no other choice than to join them in the way of contagious laughter. Maybe it was the gorgeous cave ballrooms that bounced around the singing like shards of broken glass or the atmosphere which was tastefully decorated and filled with candles. Something was in the air and was ever present when, What Moon? hit the large stage in the center of the lagoon. Fans insist that is has nothing to do with atmosphere but of gifted writing that knows when to pull back and lash on with full force and it would work just as well as slapstick street theater. Very well!

The quantity of music and unusual variety has made the Mintady Music Festival a must see. A comic Opera is all good especially

when the mood is right but there appears to be nothing like the soaring voices of a heart in pain that echoes like a spirit through out the cave chambers. Veteran of Opera Heartbreak, Arietta Serles, reminded the audience of how triumphant the heart is with her starring role in, ‘Hours are for the Happy’

by Colvin VanWalfratt. She was joined by her heartbreaker, Gideon Arman that had his own side of the cave devoted entirely to his performance. Many a gush, sigh and tear were shed, seemingly at his every move and artistically speaking, it was far beyond Good.

Perhaps, the best way to experience the music festival is on one of the many floating dinner boats that surround the banks. Wonderful menus spilling with delicacies that compliment the music perfectly are to be had and gotten at reasonable prices. Reservations are a must, but once seated for the show you can enjoy tasty drink concoctions, sometimes

foamy and sometimes hot served with little baskets of appetizers. Scrumptious entrees followed by delicious desserts are also to be enjoyed. If a reservation is not made then the public is asked to stay on the banks or rent a room with a balcony that looks over the lagoons. In any spot, however, the sound is superior and truly something to be experienced.

‘ ,

...she is after all, a Mere Mortal!

Flying South for the Winter? Trying to make a quick Sale on your Summers Nest? Feeling the squeeze of a Buyers Market?

We’ll gladly purchase your Nest! ~OR~ Keep one warm for you for when you come back next Spring! come on down to BIRD-EEZEtn, we’ve got it All! theFiligree.com

A&E

Autumn ‘09 -11

I

A Haunted House is Happiest on Hallowe’en

nside of me there have been horrible piercing shrieks of Terror— My rotted floor boards have tripped up many a passer-by.

Tormented ghouls have rested beneath my eves, shaking my innards with their moans. My twisted stairs with their delicately engraved banisters have ushered many a screamer down and out through my squeaking doors. So I speak? Oh yes, I creak. I groan and moan, too.

In unison, the specters and I have dared even the bravest to enter and have banished them trembling and hollering far below out of my rusted gates. A pretty porch have I; home to many a slithering serpents, newts and countless insects.

They are my friends and they protect me. Burrowing into my rotten foundation. Down there deep, dark are my rat infested earthen corridors. They shuffle and sneak, grab

up little bites to eat and scale the walls from inside. You can hear their long, sharp nails click, click in the Night. In my chimneys another friend I beckon in: my bloodied and hungry vulture stays for a spell until something rotten on the wind steers him away. I am not haunted by death as much as by life and it shivers me deep to the core. I am not bad nor scary but frequented by many that choose to call me haunted. So a Haunted House am I, rising up in the moon and standing tall in the twilight then shrinking in the shine from the sun. I slick and rot in the rain and crack and warp in the snow. It is now amongst these bustling leaves that ensnarl and caress me and settle upon the rotting apples and dark soil and grey swollen purpley skies that I am at Peace, for a Haunted House is truly Happy on Hallowe’en.

the Griddle Caker’s Confession Come along now!

Did you hear how? the town was put to sleep?

That’s right & by something sweet!

The Griddle Caker delivered her cakes which made them Asleep instead of Awake!

But it was a mistake!

For it was me & I’ll tell you how when the morning rose pink over the town,... ...and with my plate piled high with cakes rolled up with jams and creams and sugar and berries syryps and icing and finely powdered cherries I sure knew how to get that town out of the bed!

Without even a word whispered or said Wilhelmous Bogart awoke with a start and with a smile recieved his warm cake as Hester Ann the Librarian broke off a bit for the birds that flocked and flew around the dressmaker, Lillian Prue who was just sitting down to a tea with her neighbor Ms. Imogenia Snodderly who commented on its exquisite taste to myself who passed in the greatest of hastes and it’s true— I was known to let drop a cake or two— gobbled hungrily up by mutts!

Then a cake fell into the Blue Canal and who knew what became of that?

For soon arrived the Little Beggar Jack, who smiled with his crooked green teeth and shyly asked, ‘would ya have a flap jack for me?’ and a bit of morsel was his due but why were eyelids beginning to droop? and the birds above had stopped their flights

12 - Autumn ‘09

and well, looking behind me wasn’t there a Sight!

All asleep in the strangest of places eyes were closed with odd smiles upon their faces Wouldn’t you know! those cakes had done the trick— had somehow put the town to sleep real quick...

Birds weren’t tweet-tweeting the readers had stopped their reading the flowers had stopped their sweeting the bootmakers had stopped their feeting the meeters had stopped their meeting the nit pickers had stopped their neating and all was a’Hush... not a’ bustle from a bush nor the whisper from a single One,...

And then the snoring began! ...and the grumbling, too and then suddenly on chins— the sparklingof drool! as Miss Euphemia Snoha rose with outstretched arms over to the bank and tripped the alarm... the bell rang, a tickling shrill as Morten Winter rolled into the Mill where he floated and continued to snore as little Frank Riley stretched out on a board balanced way across from the 3rd to 4th floors,...

And Herr Pipptone, at his pipe shop number 3 erupted in a fit of giggling as a worm began to find its way and start wiggling upon the Reverand Jameson Lee And me? what was I to do?

But stare back at my cakes for hopes of a clue I broke one open and saw just what I wasn’t hopin’ an ingredient that shouldn’t be!

Blue flowers that shone metallically—!

How in the world?

And then I thought hard and long about what could possibly have gone wrong... the fat kitchen cat had prolly jumped on the counter and I must’ve looked ‘round her and never suspected a thing,...

Well so it be!

And what to do, with a town all asleep?

A sleep so deep no one would remember for a week?

Well pranking of course!

Put a pretty hat on the horse! ..and take Mr. Finnigin’s wig and place it on a pig!

Switch the signs in the ice cream shop write liver and eyeballs and pork chop then go to the picture show and watch your favorite 2 times in a row then to the fun park, figure out how to make the rides start and go for a spin!

See how many buckets of candy you could win take a stop by the haunted house go creeping inside quiet as a mouse take the gauze off the mummies and wind it round the zombies then drape spider webs in the bathrooms and hang rubbery bats in the tearoom and naturally, a tombstone or 3 to decorate the town square properly then sit back with a warm chocolate and wait! for when those dreamers would awake...

A&E

...and it wasn’t long before the first stretches and yawns erupted and drowned out the snores and Salemantha Post grumbled

‘come back here ya ghost!’ and then opened one very tired eye... as Della Betty Knight exclaimed full of fright that it was indeed, ....’Night!’ as she stumbled into the washerwoman Patrenka Wilkenson who had just seen a skeleton doing the wash!

And Vincent Shay didn’t understand why his store was giving clothing away!

And the bloody hand found at the waffle stand, where the irons had all turned cold— chilled the people both young and old as they stumbled about with their hairs all in disarray wondering if it was Night or if it was Day spider webs covered everything in a thick stick had years passed? Or had the day gone quick?

They shook their heads or jumped with shock as the birds overhead grew nosy and flocked Ludwig Lystilla walked in on a gorilla sitting in his Barber Shops chair ...as a silly clown was dressed up in an evening gown at Lucinda’s Fine Dress Affair.. on & on the scenes unfolded before my eyes each event a bigger surprise and that’s how our fair town was turned upside down just by some tasty little cakes and it is my confession make of it what you will make....

theFiligree.com

Autumn Event Calender Cape Marion’s offering a lantern lit tour of several of it’s favorite Abandoned Houses that always prove to be a particular treat this time of year. Expert storytellers will lead the way into these ramshackle paradises that wreak of Legend. Not a tour for those easily offended by the Moist and Moldy and Dangerous.

Tours will run 2nd and 4th Sundays Sept-Nov. and at Your Own Risk!

some of the best in the Region!

Riddlers! Rhymers! Raconteurs! Plenty of sweets to treat your teeth! Apple and Almond butter making and tasting! Buggy Rides through fresh country air! Soap making and smelling! Meet and Greets with writers! Sit comfy cozy on patch work quilts while listening to some of the most Suspenseful stories around. Tales of Creepy Crawlies, and Strange Night Whispers, Tales of Justice and Revenge!

Hilarious Stories! and Nonsense Stories!

Nov. 27 8 p.m.

cor shifts throughout the systems of dif- As soon as the bones are removed simply ferent caves. Learn about Arts Origins in dance around the Bone Fires until your the Moultries and how it effects society loved ones come back to inhabit them. today.

Discussion & book signing with Benoni Ball o’ Bogatha for Woodland Creatures. Howatt on her book, Foraging: Fact & If you live in the nooks and crannies of Fiction. To enlighten all creatures on the woods and yearn for a night out from how to make the most of this difficult proit all, the gathering and survival, that is, cess. Open to the public and catered by then come on out to Bogatha’s Muddy ‘LottaNut’ the book signing will run 2-4 Shores in Dauphin Wood- this beautiful Sunday December 7 at Silbry’s Books, and protected bog promises to be a safe Trementon. haven for all creatures on November 13 with music amusements from: Carving Show in Llmar with a full 12 the Alonzo 5, Anderville Thrill, and panel jury.

Peonies.

Carvings are to be restricted to Rock this It promises to be a merry mesh up! time. 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prizes. Nov. 21 Carivell University hosts the International Inventors Day on Wed. December 9th & 10th from 10 a.m til 8 p.m. A series of Apple Festival in Dauphin Wood.

Lectures & Demonstrations will be held Stroll through the fragrant apple orwith renown inventors chards that wind themselves through the forest and taste some of the exquisite Have the days gotten dark & dreary? types of apples this part of the region is Has the rain gotten you down? Then join known for. Artisans, Activities & Apples! the Cake Decorating Course on at Hey- Oct. 23-25 wood Community Center, Chariton every Saturday afternoon in November. Classes Patrenka’s Pumpkin Patch! span many techniques and you will learn Pick yer own! Be it Blue, Purple, Rosy about coloring your creams to perfection. Red or Green!

How to make a various selection of flow- We’ve got the pumpkins of your dreams! ers, and proper icing scrollwork. Several Patrenka’s Patch will be open from Late different prize winning cake recipe will September until all pumpkins find a also be included in the course which is home. taught by cakist, Eliza Devour. Drop-ins An entire field is dedicated to are welcome!

Classic Orange Pumpkins,...

Ancient Art of Prehistoric Cave Creatures , lecture by Carnie Boda at the Main Library in Marjeta, Nov.12, 7 p.m. Discover why the Moultrian Caverns are so decorated in ancient scrollwork and details. What do they mean and how is it reflected in Contemporary Architecture?

How the change in regional caverns de-

Anglesley Graveyard, home of the Graveyard Jig in Tewksberry will join just about every other Boneyard in the region in allowing relatives of the deceased to enjoy the old pastime of Bone Dancing!

Shovels will be provided for this every Saturday in November event that promises to be much fun.

Train rides through the gorgeous Forests of Drobny. Experience the breathtaking Fall colors from the comfortable seats of the Diltz Express. The steam engine train will carry you past the splendid scenic views and in the evenings little charming works of mystery theater will be presented in the dinner trains. Cabins are offered in all sorts of themes from Raggedy to Rich to Modest to Merry and promises to be a treat for the whole family.

Storytelling Festival in Pine Swamp with

music and lots of dancing!

Bring your friends and remember, No Entrance without Costume!

Funny Gal, Ethela Stone will take to the stage in Bayonne at ‘the Gigglery’ 9 p.m.

Join her as she’ll revisit such past hits as, ‘No, no you don’t!’ and ‘Melinda Mae’ You won’t want to miss it! the Crystal Gazing Guild is offering beginners courses at the Crittendon Community Center every weekend in the month of November. Course will run 2- 6 p.m. and should give a great introduction to Crystal enthusiasts that have never found the time before.

Cozy Bonfire’d Stories every weekend through the gorgeous months of Autumn in Norwood Forest.

Take a walk and stumble upon a gathering of spooky tales and heart warming stories.

Tell one of your own.

Invent one or resurrect one!

Or listen beneath the twinkling stars.

Lenore Louise will be giving one of her famous poetry readings at Overby’s in Andover Friday Oct. 16 and her eager fans are wondering aloud how it will be!

Rollerskates? Suspended from strings while singing Opera? Or perhaps gurgling her prose beneath the surface of a giant fish tank One never knows what to expect except: the Unexpected.

Show starts promptly at 7 p.m.

October Dance on City Pier in Attica.

Show off your fancy costume to all of Attica as they gather under the all Hallow’d Moon!

These Saturday Festivities will start in early afternoon with plenty of games and superstitions, sweets and scares.

Child friendly and spotted with live

ARCHENBO NICHE CARPENTERS 43 Faulklyn Blvd. Payenne

DeaDresses

Find your Niche today!

don’t be caught Dead without one

Living in a boring 4 Walled World? One of our Specialists can turn it into Coziness fit for a King!

Why wait?

Stop by for a personal consultation today!

theFiligree.com

A&E

Autumn ‘09 - 13

Seasonal Suggestions Mummies should clean their linens in a pond between Hallowe’en and Christmas to annoy parasites. H Kill a fly and 10 will come to its funeral! H Bubbles raising from stagnant water in an old bog are a sign of rain H Hang black coats over all the outside doors to keep witches out of the house at night H Stand behind glass where a pretty picture is drawn and lightning cannot strike you H Burn blessed candles for protection while its storming H After dropping a comb, step on it and make a wish before picking it up H Using a dead mans comb will make you bald H Staring too long into a mirror can make any creature ugly H bury all the pieces of a smashed mirror to erase bad luck H The soles of new shoes should be steeped in a pot of walking fern H Wear a dime in each shoe to keep werewolves away H Ghosts never pay a visit without giving their fashionable signal of 3 raps to announce their arrival, which is always late H Candles burn blue when spirits are in the room H If you catch 12 falling leaves during the Autumn you’ll have a Happy Year H Walk across 7 cellars doors and you will be lucky H To avert the disappoint caused by dropping an umbrella , let someone pick it up for you H If a Jack o’ lantern is following you, just turn all your pockets and hats inside out and he will turn around and go back H Apples gathered in the light of the moon will not rot H A happy couple should not bob for the fortune telling apple if they wish to remain so H It is impolite to attend a party not in costume H Collect buttons from each of your friends to make a charm string H To make the dumb cake 2 must make it, 2 must bake it, and 2 must break it, the 3rd hides it under her pillow H Cure Nightmare by laying a pair of scissors under your pillow at night H Sat & Sunday dreams told come true before a month old H If in the morning you arise from bed singing then you will be happy all day,... H

14 - Autumn ‘09

J.J. Skiles

locomotive mechanics New & Used Trainery Fixing Trains of All Sizes.

A&E

theFiligree.com

H

p l e

. . !.

from the Horsetorian

Dear Widowed.

In a way, yes it can ruin the rest of the Dead. If the begrieved is fond of the griever he can be disturbed and will hang Dear Horsetorian, around for a lot longer than necessary, I’m a male, relatively youngish good look- with feelings of restlessness. But in most ing Ghoul that is sick and tired of being cases, they don’t care and you’re only rutaken for a female! I realize that to the ining your own rest. untrained eye, we Ghouls can be very HH similar but that in no way, makes us hermaphroditic! I’ve tried weight lifting to Dear Horsetorian, Is kissing the Dead no avail as I have a frail, weak frame and really a way to die? I mean—I’ve heard I’ve also tried to lower my voice which that before and was curious to see if that just confuses and frightens people. was an old wives tale? It’s just that— I’m How do I politely but firmly let strang- being wooed ferociously by a deceased ers know my gender before any awkward individual and I find him to be kind & atencounters? tentive. Should I stop it before it blossoms Thanks. Feeling like a ‘Fhoul’ too much?

Flirting with Death Dear Feeling like a ‘Fhoul’ I guess it’s time for a makeover! Shoulder pads and clothes with lots of pockets will give you the masculine signals you so desire. Maybe you should try a hat? Hardware is a must. Buttons, spikes, etc. Spittle and foamy drool is often associated with male ghouls and will accent the edgy look perfectly. Greasy, strands of hair hanging beneath a ratty hat looks particularly male ghoulish. I’ve also wondered at the unmistakable masculine stench from ghouls— find a putrid swamp for your dwellings.

Good luck! HH Mr. Horsetorian, I’m an Ancient Aristocrat i.e. a Mummy and I tend to get a lot of invitations this time of year to various parties mostly Hallowe’en themes due to my looks being a popular novelty. These parties almost always involve games in which I’m the center of attention and some of these parties though much fun can continue for days. They stress me out! It’s exhausting being the adorable mummy which everyone wants to sit on my lap, or dance with me or walk down the cellar stares or unwrap my linens, giggling. ..

If I react then I’m a spoiled sport, if I decline an invitation then I’m rude. How does an abused Mummy unentangle himself from Hallowe’en?

Bummed out Mummy.

Dear Bummed out Mummy.

With the novelty and respect that your kind demands, comes great responsibility. You have to use the intense interest to your advantage and teach the young maybe a bit about your culture. Tell them scary stories of Ancient cursed Aristocrats and thieves. Turn the lights down; be the Mummy in the middle.

HH

Dear Flirting with Death, In some cases, kissing the living is a way to die, especially if you’re kissing an old wife whose telling a tale. HH Dear Horsetorian, I feel haunted. Not by a ghost or a ghoul but of a memory of a distant place. Not even a special place, just some field maybe I visited as a child. Then another month my brain will pick another, ‘mystery location’ to drive me crazy with. What does it mean?

How do I find it?

Lost in my Head Dear Lost in my Head, You need a Trance compass. There are several good ones out there. The Nolans make some of the finest ones. This should help you in your travels. HH

Dear Horsetorian, I want revenge on the being that killed me! I don’t know how to rid myself of this bitterness—it’s been Dear Horsetorian, decades now of therapy! I know the only Can excessive grieving ruin the rest of the way to ‘get on with it’ is to accept, forgive dead? and forget but I want to find him and ask Widowed. why! Yes, I have looked but to no avail.

He’s Immortal. Should I give up my hunt?

What would you do? Dying to Die

theFiligree.com

usually just eat out as my region has fine - 13 Dear Dying to Die, restaurants that I enjoy and I haven’t You have made great effort to get over hunted in years! Every time I’m out, chilyour anger but it is clearly keeping you dren and other young mammals are atin a grip of despair. The only solution I tracted to me and wish to speak to me! see, is you will have to use your anger They constantly come over to where I am for poltergeist activities. This way it will and ask me all sorts of questions and I slowly release and deflate. Find an in- politely answer. Then other kids see them nocent, young female as your host and and come over and before I know it: I’m wreak havoc on the family. Make sure to surrounded! Then I’ll hear, ‘children, get respect the rules of poltergeists as it is a away from him!’ And the parents shoot powerful organization with strict etiquette me bad looks and call me a ‘carnivorous and severe consequences if not adhered creep’. This greatly saddens me as I have to. HH never eaten children! What should I do the next time they clamber up to me?

Dear Horsetorian, Considerate Carnivore Is there someway to change my ghostly projection to something a bit more attrac- Dear Considerate Carnivore, tive? I drowned and was finally discov- This is a problem that I often hear and ered horribly bloated and now everyone unfortunately it is not easy to remedy. You who sees me thinks I’m fat. But I’m just are going to have to try to scare the chila thin man in a fat projection. Sure I’m dren away before their parents see you. scary but it’s hard to get a date around A slight snarl displaying your teeth should this place! Vain Floater do it. There’s really nothing else to do as the fear of carnivores is too deeply imbedDear Vain Floater, ded in most mammals. HH You’ll have to be dehydrated although this will leave you very wrinkly and pruny. A Dear Horsetorian, Week retreat in the salt cliffs of Bobola Recently, a co-worker went on vacation, should have good effect. However, keep around last spring and came back a totally in mind that witches adore wrinkles and different person. It was obviously due to may approach you. HH metamorphosis yet,— Horsetorian, she completely denied it! Needless, to say Dear Horsetorian, I am married to a car- this made things very awkward around ing creature of another species than my the office for all of us. What do we say? own. We get along great except for one How do we act towards this ‘large, pink reoccurring problem: she hibernates for elephant’ in the corner? over 3 months in the Winter and I miss Thanks, Not Blind her terribly! She, however couldn’t care less it seems. When she wakes up she tells Dear Not Blind, me of all the wonderful places she visited Metamorphosis can also awkward for in her dreams and never once mentions those involved and maybe your colleague that she has missed me. Sometimes in the is herself trying to figure out her new long lonesome Winter nights I’ll watch body and whether it makes her bum look over her and suddenly hear her speaking bigger etc. Maybe she doesn’t feel like in her sleep but never about me! Am I talking about it right now. wrong in feeling jealous of her hibernating nature? Am I wrong in dreading it Hi Mr. Horsetorian, every year? Why doesn’t she miss me?

My father died ferociously when I was Winter Widower very young and it’s something we usually don’t like to bring up in my family.

Winter Widower, I have a young daughter and recently Some would be jealous of having a whole she’s been asking many questions about season off from their mates! Use it to her grandfather and where he is and your advantage. Snuggle down in your what happened. How do I tell her favorite chair and don’t clean your den! without telling her as I think she is too How about not cleaning your clothes for young to understand? Anxious in Attica a week and eating with your mouth open?

If any of these solutions don’t sound fun Dear Anxious in Attica, to you, than it’s time to get a Life and get Has it ever dawned on you that maybe out more! It’s pathetic to sit and watch your father has approached her from the your wife sleep. She’s not going to move. other side already and this is why she’s Go out and get a hobby then you can asking so many questions? I know of share something new with her when she many cases like that when family memwakes and then maybe she’ll be excited to bers reach out to the young. Especially if hear about where you’ve been! HH his death has been hushed and covered up. She might be searching for answers Hello Horsetorian, to some things she’s already discovered.

I have a very serious problem that is mak- It’s time to have a heart to heart before ing my life difficult for me. I am a creature maybe, he reveals too much. HH with very sharp teeth and a penchant for small animals as my meals. However, I

HELP!

Autumn ‘09 - 15

Obituaries To all you Scared Ones! soon we will come— to your little Snuggly & Cozy homes we want the treats & you know which ones or else beware! for your Daughters & Sons

You are welcome to dig up my Bones!

Dance with ‘em if ya please!

Let’s knock knees!

And giggle, and dance and fall, No, I don’t mind, not at All! but the dancing will continue on into the night until you look down and you see that you got pretty bones just like me!

Clank, Clamber and Cloo!

Flavilla Reick

Pondering Life from a place so far away Just have a few things that I want to say: Mother, it’s in the place in the Well that should keep everybody dandy & swell Father, it was Trilly Lee it turned out she was a bit too fond of me Bennington Fitz

Magic don’t hardly come out as one hopes, turning you into silly things like carpets or soaps, But Magic can do the thing you most Fear!

And that is to make you finally up and disappear!

Duzilla Bordo

A funny pen is this!

So Strange! to tell of unearthly Bliss It is unearthly, yet strange & Nice But to remember I’ll never again feel Ice or Fire and Laughter, No, I’ll be here forever after!

Filinda Radant

Swallowed down, Ode to them Taken while still Alive!

Not at all fun to wait until you Die! But the dreams that came right before— made it kinda weird and hardly a Bore!

Ina Unwin

Billy, please! please Love me in my Death although I am Misty and haven’t real breath My heart is yours & I’ll never Leave & no other girl will tempt you as you Grieve Theda Cranger

We were far from home without a care in this world A poor boy & raggedy girl but our hunger grew Wild, Fierce & Intense And finally stole away our Dreams and our Plans,...

Aulden Cy & Betsy Foord

they told me not to swim too Deep Where the bottom I couldn’t reach with my feet— but it was there one second and gone the next just like me, so please let me Rest...

Brooks Jaelle

I will never leave here!

Now that I’ve seen the Gloomy dances— Such Frolicking! Such Gaiety such ghostly Prances!

No, never will I go home I’ll sway to & fro and when you look up to the sky, you may see me dancing by Besty Bordo’

Traveling a strange place where not a One was a familiar face so when I fell in the dark alley all Alone no one found me until I was a pile of Bones!

Eliza Jane

Something Scary snuck up one lone Fall Eve it echoed far behind me through the Black and Empty Streets terrified me so that my heart boomed and beat in my chest Now it’s booming still and won’t let me rest Pearl A’Bell

An old Grampa like me just wants to say Hi! to his family I’m a floatin’ lookin’ down from far away— ‘Tis kinda fun to float this way!

Elmer Leffingwell

Going crazy in my own head sorta wished I was already dead But now that I’m here it’s gotten worse— I’m being followed by my own Black Hearse!

Halsey Crane

16 - Autumn ‘09

Darling Daughter, Dear You may have noticed I am no longer near I floated away but I’ll always forever be close to you dear daughter, so please remember me!

Arbella Dearth

obituaries

theFiligree.com

Oh, I can’t wait til my bones are licked clean! take this fat suit far away from me! they’ve all told me my bones were so fair and tonight there’s the Ball and I know just what to wear!

Narcissa Lake

The Night of Wreaking Havoc and Trees that turn against you— Fruit that crawls away to join parties you’re not invited to the Laughter it teases you from somewhere far away— this day doesn’t belong to the Living No, it’s the Dead’s Day!

Yummy my belly, you say it tastes sweet It’s true at the end I’m just a pile of meat too many bones you say in my feet?

Well, try in my chest where my heart once Beat!

Polly Loop

Omara Moran

I brewed for the famous and I brewed for the Poor those wanting Love and those looking ta settle a Score But now the Brews are rotten and of my name, you’ve all Forgotten!

Deniza Dika

Ah. ribbons are pretty in Yellow & Blue but not in shiny Red that drips right out of you!

These ribbons I’ll wear tonight into the Misted Ball My Scarlett ribbons will shine, yes!

For one and for All Hetty Ouelette

Lovely Ladies of Shadowy Glen whom feast on the Corpses of Women and Men let me bring nourishment at least that I can do and leave this world without another thought about you!

Lady Worm

There’s a Ball on tonight and you know you must be clean of skin and little chunks of meat only elegance is invited you see, and you want to be the best you can be Electa Cline

So stealing is Wrong!

As we’ve heard dozens of times in all sorts of Songs did I know that in the end someone would Steal me?

No way! If I’d known that I would’ve behaved Perfectly!

Basil Ruskin

They called me lil’ tappin’ feet ‘cos I could step to the beat my feet danced me to my tomb but Wow! What an echo I get in this room!

Noel Flanagan

Climbing up High with Gravity at your Back could mean that the Earth will soon have a Snack so let it eat! let the worms have their treat it is nothing to me so I hope it’s sweet!

James Gudada

Don’t mourn for me! your sobs echo loudly and disturb my peace let go of me!

So I can fly to Eternity Orpha Loop

- 15

Flying is nice when it takes you up to Warm Skies But Flying can be Cruel when tornadoes makes dust out of Fools!

Dennison Coats

After all that life, just to become a Lunch!

For Vultures and Scavengers and Worms that Crunch through Bones they sliver and hide out of Sight and come out to feast in the bold eyes of Night!

Sigourney Hyde

I’ve heard they have such fun you know, the Ghosts this time of year that I decided to join them in their riots of Cheer Knockin’ on the doors, never seen so many scared faces!

This place is Great!

The most marvellous of Places!

Potter Rae

Sometimes you sleep, sometimes you eat, sometimes you play sometimes you go away I did the last and it was very quick, indeed, very Fast!

Henrietta Bowne

Now Bones– they must have all the Meat removed and it’s lucky because for some, that is Food Bones can’t dance with Skin hanging free you’ll have to skip to the Music and jump to the Beat!

Elmer Hyrnko

2To all the deceased that wish to contribute a quick note to the Living: all poems must be in rhyme format and may not exceed 12 lines. Keep it short & you’ll have more chance of being chosen.

Thank you, Filigree Editor

theFiligree.com

obituaries

Autumn ‘09 - 17

“What’s me got, here in me pot?

Things that wriggle! Things that sleep!

Things that’ll cost ya a penny just to take a peekWith here me’s a’precious spoon stirs it up til it reflects tha Moon!

Dropped somethin’ fried and greasy down there yesterday un when I done pulled it out... it was alive un gray It looked me in me eye un said, ‘sister you’ve done bad!’

So I honked it’s long nose un made it real mad!

He He! Down below, there you go!

Come un take a peek, ‘tis a penny for thee!

So gather round ya dearies!

Gather round me brew!

Let’s see what the dark sludge under has in store for you...”

CAPRICORN See little sassies the water sways it reaches up and then goes this ‘n thataway but when it stops who will know? if ya got a penny it’s got somethin’ ta show!

AQUARIUS A cough! a wheeze! a fortune ya say? well come this way sir tis your lucky day! — a handsome water, see,... she don’t lie! for someone, yer the tastiest Apple Pie why ya here, searchin’ all alone? when I see someone waitin’ for ya far away at home?

Aha,...yer a pretty one it can smell that ya’ve always won not awards but at this game called Life but watch out! ya can’t live life without Strife!

But have no fear dearies, it’s as simple as this! a little whisper, un a stir un a wheezy kiss see it turning’ a darkly blue?

Taint anymore just a pot of goo! un ya can change if ya’d only let it— ta the bad things that happened taday just forget it!

Oooh, it’s mud now un ta get it movin’ only I know how! there, there me brew responds ta a coin into our conversation she’s eager ta join! but watch out that you won’t too turn into a stagnant sludge with nothin’ ta do!

Gather round, the sun’s a near settin’ let’s see what’s deep in yer soul a frettin’ I see smoke & confusion nothing clear, just dillusions ya must learn ta see thru tha smoke before it swirls round ya & chokes

LIBRA

SAGITTARIUS

GEMINI

TAURUS

a warm bit of copper there, there in me hand— let’s see if me sludge says yer weak or yer grand,...

Un ya jump up un ya turn away! lookin kinda shy with nothin’ ta say? me sludge says cat got yer tongue? maybe yer nursin’ a heart thats fragile un stung?

ARIES

SCORPIO Un a clankin’ un a smashin makin’ sounds like broken glasses Ya be best ta watch yer way ya could fall down un break somethin’ taday keep yer path straight & lean & keep yer eyes peeled if ya know what I mean

CANCER

LEO

I can stir & I can poke so as ta make tha brew wild & smoke calm her down & take a lazy snooze tha world will keep ya spinnin’ ya’ve nothin ta lose

Looky here!

A lost child in a dark wood who knows no bad only tha powers of good but goods been eaten un gobbled away although it always returns tha next day

un forgettin’ is fine by me un fine by me brew it’ll forget about me as I’ll forget about you but somethin’ smells sweet like a field of fresh flowers like rain on the horizon gettin’ ready ta shower look around the bend keep lookin’ and to stop only you’ll know when

VIRGO

PISCES See above!

That clouds gather dark give me a penny & we’ll make a spark A party! with pretty dresses un wine, you’ll be there un dressed real fine someone I see, has a secret for you think long & hard first about what ya should do—

18 - Autumn ‘09

A jumpin’ & a poppin’ with puffs of steam me brew is turnin’ colors like in a pretty Dream come along now— don’t hide yer hopes its makin’ bubbles like bars of soap sometimes too clean, how they can’t stand dirt but a little messy sometimes, can’t really hurt

THEE STARS

“Me hands be knotted and tired, the veins ropin’ bout them like bits of twisted wire and I heave a sigh and a houn take me a little rest let the earth be calm and be at her beautiful best....”

theFiligree.com

CLASSIFIEDS (all contacts made c/o Filigree Editor) Real Estate

State of the Art modern living quarters with breathtaking views and a 24 hour porter so you can enjoy your slumbers in Peace. An open kitchen living room arrangement and many skylights to enjoy the Moonlight. Not one detail has been overlooked. Do not miss this once in a lifetime investment opportunity!

House w/friendly poltergeist for sale.

All the thrills that come with a poltergeist like flickering lights and sheet tugging without pinches, slaps or hair pulling. The light is always on the front porch when you arrive home! OCB Healing Trees for Sale. On the historic Realty. Sibley. registry. Protected and Sacred. With shop fronts.

Rotten borough at the base of historic gnarled tree.

Make this burrow your home for the winter! Wonderfully moist & healthy Land of Gloom with watch Owls that will shoo away Winters hungry predators. Deep in un Shadow, beautiful Dauphin Wood. Sally monthly rentals, for rent, leasing, weekly rentals. Apartment available.

Modest Bungalow on the outskirts of Pavilions, time share condos and vacaPrimghar. Easy access to the Univer- tion rentals. sity. Contact: Shep.

Fruit grove on gorgeous acreage— trees Renting out my attic to a hibernator mature and who doesn’t snore too loudly. Our in excellent condition. family is also quiet and we offer a safe Gerry’s Realty/Tewksberry & nurturing Environment.

Willa 2 fine lots, sidewalked & not far from Attica. Contact Roger.

Hollow trees! Hollow Trees! San- Gorgeous room beneath Pavlina Lake. gamon Forest is putting the finishing contact: Sylvia touches on several new developments.

Come and see!

A Particularly moist dungeon for sale w/bathroom, den, crawl space and Apartment Agency in Bobola. Looking sprawling Kitchen with antique for a single room? A shared room? Or light fixtures. contact: Hariland your own luxurious living quarters with Community Hollow Trees for rent. a view over the cliffs.

Birthdays, dances, anni versary parWe can help you!

Stop by for a consultation today!

reasonable price so as to avoid auction. Please contact Shelly for private showing. Thanks for looking.

An old, dirty good for nothing bucket free for the taking. Someones trash anothers Treasure, eh?

Cutting Edge Structure which could be considered a house from some angles available for showing via the Crane Realtors in Cherry Hill. Very interesting establishment, monstrously large and potential to be a showplace. contact for pictures: Robby New Trunks fresh from the factory starting at low prices! All colors, shapes and sizes and everyone can afford one. No money down.

Jobs Talent Wanted!

Dancers & Clowns & Magicians & Acrobats All types of novelty acts for show on the road Mortal Nurses available at: ‘Cotton Wrapped,’ temp agency for Nurses. Chariton Dragon Brothers Delivery Service, serving the greater Watonga area for over 300 years!

Decorative House Painters Wanted with a meticulous eye for detail. Will be generously compensated.

Ivy Bonham.

Clean, cleaning ladies to work for small, private firm. Must have references and Must have Magical Skills.

Looking to lease my cave for I’m Spick n’ Span, Adony We’ll deliver your trunk to you!

not sure how long. Kitchenette 1 bedroom, contact: Stan

ties, proms etc.

Greasy.

Public Swamp with view For Sale Farmland with farmhouse, fenced and in Wherry. contact Janey near traveled road in Ollie For Sale by Crumbling Mansion in disrepair. owner. Contact Phillip Fragile attic and cloudy windows.

Sweeping balustrade and grand entrance foyer. A recent inheritance Bat Colony, Apts. and the family has no other choice than to sell it. Has been in our famRenting Now! ily for generations but we can’t afford Gorgeous cave on the banks of the Ller river offering up to 200 the upkeep. We are starting at a very

Laces - Umbrellas - Parasols - Gloves - Ribbons Embroideries - Handkerchiefs

Mimmie Bedillion’s Magic Fabric

-Dauphin Wood Apple Festival-

.

Fabric changes Colors & Textures from Day to Night!

A Day suit & a Night dress, All in 1!

For Fashion & Upholstery, Ask for Bedillion’s Fabrics, in any Choice Color! theFiligree.com

Bessy Bear Florist Beautiful Dried & Dead Flower arrangements for all of your Seasonal needs.

Specializing in Spectacular centerpieces for your Gorey Parties!

331 Netsy Lane Peapack

CLASS.

Autumn ‘09 - 17

Boost your income and get your friends in on it, too! Work from home, just Misc. having fun. No bosses. Come to one of our initiation meetings today. Mon Gorgeous assorted colored glass bottles -Thurs. 6 p.m. Weona, Morrison’s Jr, Empty but very large capacity. Maybe high Gym. even bottomless as my sister fit a very small storm in one of the blue ones.

Need a skilled crafter in silver & gold ---Shirley lacing for a private jeweler that specializes in high end & exclusive pieces. Antique Armoire with stained Adony. Boutique RAIN speckly mirrors.

Holds a lot & is very old.

Looking for handyman work. Can take Al Peaney. trash out. Paint. Fix general things.

Please contact Ray. Old handcart, maybe Chestnut? In great condition. Sarley.

Window washing. I can get any window even the grimiest sparkling clean. Flying objects for sale with the first 6 Freddie. mos. insurance free!

Home childcare.

Loving environment. Big garden and Set of 5 Moultrian Masks, lots of play things. I make sweets all while traveling there years ago I bought day long and usually have a fire these from a private collector, going to make it nice and comfy. Suda Rowanda Viola, Gwinnet.

Handmade Toys carefully designed and If you want to Lose Weight, I know a crafted by Billy way. A secret way. Join our group to 2 beautiful old Oil Paintings original & get in on the secret way unsigned- in a gorgeous old frame to Weight Loss. Thomas.

Best Offer, Savella

Poetry Group. We want to get together and critique each other’s po- Machines, Tools and Workshop. etry. Be a platform for poetry and cre- Need to empty this workshop full of old tools I got from my dad so I can ate a network. Amanda. upgrade. Good deals for collectors and Modern Art Sculpture. Nest of Fairy tool enthusiasts. Cherry Hill. Ned Babies. P’haps pricelesss but will Ladders, Walk boards and other buildtake best offer. Cedric. ing equipment. Good condition. Yuma Complete Scrap Booking Kit. Everything necessary to make the most Costly Silkened Cloaks, memorable scrapbook, ever. Penny highest quality known to man!

Zippers. Crazy Selection. Blanche.

Shadow Boxes. Teeny-tiny little worlds.

Hand sculpted and splendidly constructed.

Handmade & Carved Stamps— Stunning Selection!

Goshen

Autumn Clothes, wrap up for the whirlSteamer Chest complete with stranger’s ing Winter ahead at Erica’s Second contents. Have a blast digging through Hand in Wherry. this! Winifred.

Handmade Toys. Carefully designed and crafted. ToyChest, Freegle.

DESIGNER FRAGRANCES @ factory prices. Mohigginy.

Before

Got dry, brittle bones or aching skin?

A Lizardous tongue or Slug belly?

At a Loss of what to do?

Order your miracle packet of

Vennebal Herbal Remedies and receive a second packet completely FREE!

After

Let Cain’s Chemist Cure You! Try Dr. Hubbard Cain’s new line of ointments in all Colors and in all Ailments!

destiny

& the dragon A LOOV A LOVE...

AAAA....

I’M FIRED....

©2009 Celena Cavala & Martin Obakke|All Rights Reserved

20 - Autumn ‘09

theFiligree.com