SUMMEr ‘09
SUMMER SOLSTICE IN SANGAMON FOREST
Butterfield Sisters Host Fancy Dress Ball P
ansy and Poppy Butterfield encouraged Sangamon Forest to roll out its most heavenly mossy grass on the Solstice for an enchanting evening of costume and dancing besides Flores brook. The surrounding area was most tastefully decorated with colorful paper lanterns strewn from willow to willow and gorgeous gilded bird cages spilled treasures and curiosities for the passer by and the plumage of the attendees was just as spectacular and carried its theme of Summer down to the tiniest detail- especially the flock of costumed birds that soon appeared. A marvelous cardinal with stick legs and chiffon layers of olive green and yellows that faded delicately into the scarlet red of the wings and topped with a little spiked side hat, she was followed by her attention grabbing beaux who definitely attempted to steal the show from his indifferent companion with his smashing suit of red velvet and black with a remarkable hat and mysterious black mask. Together, they were a perfect pair and followed closely by a silken suited blue jay who was neither less in his beauty nor sophistication than his red feathered friends and awed the crowd just as much with his brilliant blue hues mixed with the rich grey of his shirts and pants. Most seriously startling of all was the squawking entrance of the Grackle who, on first inspection seemed cloaked in simple black satin until the flickering lanterns showed the true metallic hues of his suit. His tail swirled with faint purples, blues, dusty greens until blending into the striking emerald green at his neckline and fading into a royal deep turquoise. He bowed fixing his intense yellow eyes on his hostesses Poppy and Pansy who, if there had been a prize for best costume most surely would have whisked it away with their stunning, ‘Morning & Night’
ensembles. No better costume for a pair of Siamese Twins who perfectly executed the Twilight that twinkles into a starry moon topped Night and then fades rosily into Dawn that joined them together until lightening into the powdery Shining brightness of a sunny blue- skied- cloud- flecked Morning. It was whispered and decided by many that it was altogether one of the most marvelous assemblages of costumes gathered and after all the initial oohing and aahing Miss Ione Faulk began the gentle pluckings of her harp, followed by the insistent waltz on violin played by Shay Imkey and accompanied by Craig Turley on stand up bass that got the dancing started and it didn’t stop for hours. Not until Midnight rolled around and it was just at that point when ribbons needed fixing and mouths needed to be sugared by something sweet and all had returned back to the gathering when a mysterious sort of rhythm had erupted from a drum and slowly 3 pale forms came out of the darkness with lit strands of fire and began their fire dancing. Slowly, they began to twirl their ropes around, creating a cobweb of flame. A horn screeched and squealed as the fire danced faster and faster and all were hypnotized and definitely showed their appreciation through much hoopla and clapping. The Summer Solstice Fancy Dress Ball was declared such a success that no one would leave before securing a promise from Pansy and Poppy that they would arrange for a Halloween Fancy Dress at their modest Castle in Pindly. Being the ever popular and much adored socialites they enthusiastically agreed but insisted that it would be a ‘Bloody Ball’. We all look very much forward to those decorations. Pansy & Poppy Butterfield dressed as Morning & Night
< Navigation Necklaces by Miss Nettie Hamby
Miss Nettie Hamby, daughter of prominent ground-breaking Scientist Finnis Hamby, has discovered a way to never get Lost,...
‘Simply wear your Navigation Necklace and you will never more Fear, help will be Near!’ The necklaces, decorated with Nettie’s own precious little works of Art, can range from inexpensive Tin to priceless Jewels on immaculately crafted silver chains. Each are presented in a gorgeous velvet and satin box and come with carefully explained instructions, a user booklet and the much coveted signature of Miss Hamby, stating its authenticity.
MORDACAIS JONES M.I.A. Foundling Hospitals Orphan Stealer has Fled M
ordacais Jones, head mistress of Perpetual Hope’s Foundling Hospital in Goshen, has fled after recently been accused of unethical treatment and abuse of the Imaginary Friends that were in her care. ‘We filed several complaints to the police after inquests revealed evidence of kidnapping, blackmailing as well as selling on the black market to work factories which in turn will be charged with abuse and illegal activities,’ said PIF’s (Protection of Imaginary Friends) spokesperson, Hettie Atwood, ‘Not only that,--- she never did any follow up casework on her own, which is a necessity. Many of the IF’s were sent out on Orphan Trains across the Country and no one seems to know where they landed or if they even did. Those files were all conveniently lost.’ But as revelations emerge daily the story begins to stitch itself together in horrific images. Tales of Imaginary Friends being stolen away without another mention of their families again. Shoved into cold work camps where they were treated far worse than ordinary orphans. Their work was real even if they were told time and time again, that they were not. Stepped upon, starved and abandoned the IF’s slowly began to fade. But whenever that would happen they were quickly and cruelly filled with bitter sweet lies about how happy everyone was for them. That would bring them back for a while until the inevitable fading process would start all over again. Recently, Imaginary Friend Floria Evans came out and revealed her shocking and disheartening tale of abuse, malnourishment, neglect and perhaps the worst thing one can inflict upon an Imaginary Companion: Loneliness. Floria Evans was one of the many Imaginary Friends that had been rounded up in recent decades accused of crowding the streets and littering it like trash. ‘We tried to get a kind word wherever we could, y’know so we wouldn’t fade. But one day a lot of us got collected and we were put in the Foundling
Mordacais Jones, last year, escorting 2 Imaginary Friends to the Orphan Trains Hospital. There they said we would get on the Orphan Train, it was the only dream across Col. Preston Howell’s desk he started food, school and hopefully be adopted out they had left and what does she do? She to get suspicious. to a family with somebody in it that maybe tells them to get packed! They’re going on ‘Well, I just kept hearing, ‘Imaginary Friends’ needed company. That’s why we were all so the Orphan Train and instead takes them to and ‘Factories’ one too many times. Finally I happy about the Orphan Trains. It was so a dark, rat infested work factory where they had to ask myself, what is going on here? Is exciting!’ would never feel happiness again. It’s sick,’ there some dungeon where these Imaginary The Orphan Trains were a way that concluded Atwood. Friends are disappearing to? They have just many Orphans could go out and find new Floria Evans revealed things that no one as many rights as anyone else. We have our loving homes. Often times, traveling great had ever even dreamed of. ‘Sometimes I was own Imaginary friend at home. She reads to distances, the train ride was an adventure slapped in the mouth and I didn’t know what my mother and tutors my daughter. Best thing many of the Orphans looked forward to and for. We worked very early and slept really that ever happened to us. So things started to seldom would forget for the rest of their lives. late. The beds were freezing and filled with get personal and well, we made a surprise visit Some Orphans, however never even got to roaches that nibbled our toes. But we weren’t to the Spurr Factory and that took them all see the famous Train and instead were sold to allowed to speak. Ever’ off guard. Never seen so many guilty looking work camps for a pretty penny that ended up In these work camps they were worked to persons in all my career. We’ll get Mordacais in the pocket of Mordacais Jones. the bone and beyond, ---sometimes Death. Jones, doesn’t matter where she runs to. We’ll ‘It is despicable what this woman did. When too many questions started popping get her and make sure these Imaginary friends These IF’s worshipped the opportunity to go up and the name Mordacais Jones flitted are shown the respect they deserve.’
Valley O’ the Tombs Restoration Nearing Completion C
rittendon---- The Valley O’ the Tombs restoration project is finally nearing completion this month after a series of minor delays that Mayor Herschel Rawls, was thankful were quickly overcome. ‘Yes, we are positively certain that the Valley O’ the Tombs should be open in time for high Summer. Then we’ll celebrate with a weekend of festivities in the valley. Musicians, artisans, performance should be in abundance as well as good food, and of course, the breathtaking valley itself.’ The Valley O’ the Tombs is a deep poppy filled ravine crowded with sculpturesque sepulchres, monstrous mausoleums and an abundance of gorgeous graves. The Angry 2 – Summer ‘09
Betty Tornado ripped through the Valley 4 years ago taking along with it several tomb toppers and smashing them against the hillsides reeking havoc and leaving ancient corpses to the mercy of the winds---Immediately police and preservationists were on the scene where they were shocked to discover not only had many crypts been shattered but also many carcasses had been strewn about the Valley. ‘Delicate skulls dotted the hillsides,’ said head archeologist Grace Drennon, ‘it would have been pretty if not for the en masse haunting that immediately occurred.’ The massive haunting prompted: Action. A rescue group of at least 100 archeologists,
forensic anthropologists and cadavarists were quickly on the scene with the ghosts at their back urging for correct identification, or Else! The team catalogued each tiny bone and made meticulous tests to fit it with its proper owner. Specters Anon were dispatched for intense counseling sessions with the disturbed DeadResters who eventually relented with their tirades. Crittendon police officer, Oscar Peck can’t help but be impressed with all the work that’s been done, ’It’s truly Art what they’ve done here. If you’d seen the valley before and then after. Those ghosts will be happy when that party rolls around.’
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REWARD FOR FRIAR’S DAM KIDNAPPER Father hopes it will spur action
G
winnet----- Still not a word has been
heard or a clue uncovered since the brutal kidnapping of boys Timothy Russell and Lawrence Lee who constructed a road block last month that eventually led to their disappearance. The parents of boys along with witness and friend Jack Quiggins and an estimated 400 volunteers have combed the area alongside Friar’s Dam, Lettier Rd. and the wood beyond. Chief Inspector, Homer Orr of the Gwinnet Police Department says that, ‘we’ve searched every stretch of land from here to Piscataway and all the way back into Sangamon and as of yet, we haven’t come up with a single lead besides the story of Jack Quiggins.’ Jack Quiggins recently told the Filigree in a previous interview a shocking tale of what took place on that Saturday afternoon. How the boys constructed a crude road block out of boredom beside Friar’s Dam and hid behind a small hedgerow, giggling in anticipation of a passer-by. The first one being an old man on a bicycle who walked around the road block yelling for the hiding boys to move it before someone got hurt. But they didn’t, instead they waited for the dark fate that soon came barreling around the curve in the road, about Twilight time. A dark rickety carriage that raced in a cloud of dust and dirt driven by powerful black horses, the likes of which he’d never seen before that had white foam dripping from their mouths and that reared up at the road block, squealing into the otherwise still dusk. And then all was silent as the dust settled along with a smell of rot upon the hiding boys that crouched paralyzed with fear behind the hedges, hoping to not be discovered. The silence seemed to last an eternity until something inside the squeaky carriage began to move. It was here, that Jack Quiggins got a horrifying look. A large pair of black, pointy boots hopped right in front
of the hedges where he peeked out. Dust circled around them and the wind played with the ratty corners of a long, dark cloak that suddenly lifted up to reveal two pale skeleton legs. The creature did not stir but instead seemed to enjoy the boys fear and then, in an act of incomprehensible horror-- the brute, fast as lightening, snatched up Timothy and Lawrence, who were one on each side of Jack and threw them in the back
WA N T E D
$50.000 of the carriage. The Horses immediately smashed through the roadblock carrying the screaming boys away. Jack Quiggins shot up, just in time to see the terrified faces of his friends disappearing in the distance--- on a pile of the Dead. The skeletal rider appears to be neither Human, Animal, Supernatural nor Extraterrestrial. ‘I’ve never seen or heard of anything like that before,’ said local vampire, Butch Kessler. ‘A skeletal kid snatcher? It’s just too freaky.
We’re all on the lookout though, especially since the reward.’ Wayne Russell, father of Timothy has recently set up a $50,000 reward for the safe recovery of the boys. ‘Hopefully it’ll encourage people to look or ask questions,’ he said. ‘We’ve already had so many volunteers and there isn’t an hour when we’re not searching. I feel confident that we’ll bring our boys home soon.’ Mr. Russell, head contractor for the RMD project, has also hired a private investigator that specializes in dimension weaving. ‘We’re not ruling anything out here,’ cont’d Mr. Russell, ‘if some madman has them alive--- and we do believe they are alive-- we won’t ignore the possibility that they could have been taken or else slipped through other dimensions.’ Chief Inspector Homer Orr, however, insists on keeping their investigation fully grounded, ‘right here--- where we know it occurred. Here on Lettier Rd. and around Friar’s Dam. There’s gotta be some overlooked clue. With the new reward posters and the search parties, us working around the clock, something’s bound to turn up.’ But one clue has already turned up. The bicycler the boys had encountered that day has recently come forward to identify himself and say that though he hadn’t actually seen the boys that day he knew they were there. ‘It was a real nuisance, ‘he told police, ‘and I told them to move it, too!’ Jack Quiggins is wishing he did just that. ‘Why not me?’ he recently said, ‘Sometimes I wish he’d taken me, too so I would really know what happened to them. Where they went. I keep seeing their faces and smelling that smell.’
Lady Lacers vs. Spider Lacers I
n the last year since doctors released their revolutionary over the counter pill, ‘Sunrise,’ which affects the colors, textures and intricacies of Spider lacing, a war has been less than quietly simmering between Lady Lacers and Spider Lacers. ‘Competition? No, there’s no competition now that the Spiders can make any color or hue, thickness and de-stickify their laces in an astonishing little amount of time. Hands down, the Spiders have cornered the market on Lace,’ said Viola Gass, chairman of the Council of Lace Arts in Maricopa and current owner of a Web Parlour, in Ollie. By the steady current of customers that flow in and out of her parlor, one would think she’s right. But Lady Lacer, Simone Shelby begs to differ. ‘Our Laces are special. We use top secret techniques that Spider Lacers know nothing about. Our tatting has been passed down for generations-- it’s something we’ve learned and perfected not just been born with! Our Laces are pure, natural colors, we refuse to soak them in harmful dyes. The Spiders with theFiligree.com
their little pills, change the colors of Lace! Change the textures! But it’s all artificial. It’s poison and our customers that recognize the true quality of Lace, can see the difference.’ One thing the customers do see, however, is the difference in Price. ‘I would really like to support the Lady Lacers,’ said homemaker Kathy Corbell, ‘but I just can’t afford it.’ The Spiders have recently been able to drive down prices considerably due to all the time they save with the coloring process and limitless silk possibilities. Many echo Mrs. Corbell and say that while they’d prefer supporting the ancient craft of Lace Making with its procedures that loop, twist and braid beautiful little works of Art that will surely be heirlooms they not only can’t afford it but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to find a Lacer location. ‘I just tried to go to my favorite Lacing Ladies and it was closed! All in a month a sandwich shop had popped up in its place,’ groaned Fran Ayers.
While more and more Web Parlours are springing up to meet the demand. Perhaps even more alarming for the ladies are the younger generations of Spiders that are increasingly becoming more innovative and coming up with exciting new trends in Lacing. ‘These Spiders are less concerned with the older generations, ‘Wars,’ and more concerned with what looks good. They’ve studied many of the Ladies lace patterns and they’ve been able to develop intricate techniques that blends both of the Lacers strengths with strange modern twists such as with the gold and silver threads or copper and silver wire loopings--’ ‘Imagine! Macrame’, crocheting and tatting in gold threads- it’s amazing! And still inexpensive,’ remarked shopper Corintha Agur, in the new trendy shop of, ‘Minama-Lace,’ in Adony. For now, the Lacing Ladies of the old School hold their heads high and insist that for proper Lace one knows where to find them--
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Summer ‘09 – 3
Ollie to Open New Zombie Clinic Invisibility Powder Still O in Infant Stages S
cientists working at the Stratton Lab developing Viollca Sulphur say that although it’s currently in its infancy stages it should be available to the public by Spring of next year, that is, if you have the bucks. ‘It is expensive, we know,’ says Dr. Ardeves, ‘but we hope to drive the price down as soon as our extraction processes get simpler.’ For now, Scientists are struggling with an insanely long process that starts with collecting morning Dew at precise minutes and during only the months of April and May, wringing the Dew from specially created organic absorption pads over large delicately heated copper barrels. After distillation, the water is placed in 4 pots where it will simmer for 40 days. The result of the second distillation is a silky fine powder that when blended with their patented secret catalyst creates an invisibility powder which can then be rubbed onto the body resulting in pure invisibility. The only problem with this powder besides the gastronomical price tag is that it must be rubbed in an even thick layer across the body meaning that an individual would require large quantities depending on size to get a complete invisibility. But Scientists insist a tiny amount blended in skinfood or other luxury creams can lead to an angelic transparency that is very attractive. For now, it is best suited to small rodents and insects.
llie– It ain’t easy being a Zombie especially since the mortality rate just jumped to nearly 118.5 this summer due to the extreme heat wave that’s passing. What is a Zombie to do in such heat except for accelerate his decomposition? Where is he to go? Well, the Kellerman Institute, a major representative of PAPA, (Preservation&AntiPutrificationAssoc.) hopes to be a safe haven for them. With 3 refrigerated floors and some of the best doctors around specializing in all stages of Zombie re-animation and spoilage processes, the new Kellerman Institute truly aims to be the highest researcher in the field of Zombie Advances. ‘With our new State of the Art technology, a Zombie can easily have a full, re-animated Life,’ says Dr. Max DeBerry, Kellerman
Institute’s Chief of Staff. ‘For instance, certain chemical compounds that we’ve recently developed can be injected into the veins, or in many cases, what remains of the veins--- via a little handipak that the Zombie carries at all times with him and these injections can greatly reduce the amount of putrification. We know that the blood is the last organ to stop working, so it’s there that we want the compounds to be and it can triple the life of the Zombie. We hope to halt the putrification process to such a degree that you wouldn’t even know one of your friends was a Zombie.’ Still, the Kellerman Institute has weathered controversial criticism by groups that argue a Zombie’s life is already pathetically short so why waste all the Time and resources? Dr. DeBerry fires back that, ‘most of the
Moonlight Picnics Mean No Harm
B
obola– It seems residents of Bobola have
recently been afraid to take Moonlight walks along the coast for fear of disturbing Summer witches and their nightly bonfires but local witch, Minnie Ward says, ‘that’s ridiculous! And furthermore, they are more than welcome to come and join in, we don’t bite!’ The witches of Bobola that reportedly love the cliffs, especially during the lighter nights of Summer, simply make a bonfire to guard against sudden and violent winds from the coast and pass around delicacies from
moonshiner
their gardens while chatting about their work weeks, ‘just like anybody else!’ continued Mrs. Ward with a smile, who is a mother of 3 and vice president of the PTO.
Minnie Ward says ‘all are welcome to come to the Moonlight Bonfires. Just bring your own treats!’
Graverobbing and Plagiarism for Best Selling Novelist, Thaine Aydelotte
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a Howl of an aftershave! 4 – Summer ‘09
criticism stems from jealousy as he and other doctors at the Kellerman Institute have made continuous advancement in the studies of the Putrification of Zombies. Ground-breaking discoveries that will further the re-animated Death or what we refer to as Life for many Zombies some of which are historically preserved cultural Icons,’ he then goes on to remind everyone that, ‘these Zombies are someone, somewhere’s Loved One.’ The question does beg to be asked that with all this blood and organs strewn abut the clinic isn’t there ever any awkward encounters between a Zombie and a donated corpse? ‘We explain to each of our patients the complicated processes involved with their decay and really, even the most brain rotted of them isn’t so dumb as to bite the hand that feeds him.’
estselling Novelist Thaine Aydelotte has recently been under an increasingly thick cloud of suspicion regarding the diary that was found at the Valley O’ the Tombs and the shocking similarities it bore with his famous chart topper, ‘Neverty’. Last year, archeologists working for the restoration of the Valley discovered an old battered diary and poured over its contents in order to find the tomb to which it belonged. It wasn’t long, however, before one of the interns noticed an unsettling likeness to the book she was reading by Thaine Aydelotte. ‘Everyone told me I should read Neverty-Neverty,’ said intern Sue Taggart, ‘so I finally did and it grabbed me into this world and it was hard to put down—it was so real! I loved it and it was around that time that they were reading the diary. They’d talk about some parts of it like when the high society lady first met the poor poet and he would leave poems hidden in obscure places for her--well that was exactly what I’d just read! The places were even the same. So I went to the diary and started reading it and well, it was practically the exact same story.’ MAIN
Word leaked last month and then spread like wildfire suggesting that Mr. Aydelotte not only copied certain sections of the diary but had plagiarized the entire story. ‘Oh, it was shocking alright,’ said long time fan, Jean McLanty, ‘I loved Neverty! It was one of my all time favorites and the author not only ripped it off; he robbed a grave for it? How creepy.’ rumors are flying as to how Thaine Aydelotte knew the diary was in the tomb in the first place? Did he have a macabre habit of grave robbing in hopes of coming up with ideas? If so, it certainly paid off. His 3 books, ‘Neverty’, ‘rhea’s End’, and ‘Lake of Jewels’, have all won awards and earned him riches and Fame. But what else has he stolen? Whose life stories has he failed to give credit to? His fans wonder if they should ever trust him again----, ‘I was disappointed. Still am. It’s a mystery. I don’t think I’ll be reading his stuff anymore,’ said die-hard fan, Lew Peler. Both Thaine Aydelotte and publisher, Perryman Black were unavailable for comment. theFiligree.com
Dragon Fireworkers Light Up Purtlebaugh Lake
Frazee, Naks and Chalfont Spew Stellar Spectacle T
he regions most talented fireworkers were on full display Saturday night at Purtlebaugh Lake in Gautlan and for those of you that missed it, it was one of the finest spectacles of Dragon Fireworking we’ve seen in a long time. The weather was perfect as crowds started arriving early with their picnic baskets and blankets trying to get a good seat around the lake which didn’t have a patch of grass left at 5 p.m. - still hours before the fireworkings would begin. ‘We are so excited!’ said Lucy Nading, ‘We come every year and it’s like Summer can’t arrive quick enough.’ That sentiment seemed to be shared with thousands of others as eyes darted and everyone seemed fidgety, impatient for the fireworks to begin. Twilight spread itself into a piercing blue until finally fading into Dark. The first Dragon was received with rapturous applause and adoration, Aart Frazee flew over the lake, waving to the crowds before floating down to a small platform that stood at the center of the lake. He opened his little satchel and silently removed the small delicate vials of secret family ingredients. He uncorked the tops and took a sip from the 3 bottles, quickly one after the other and then followed by a pinch of what appeared to be sprouts and then finally, a large gulp of metallic liquid. He shot up into the air, fast as lightning and let out a massive roar as fire flew over the lake and erupted into a magnificent rainbow of color that rained down like glitter, reflecting itself into the silvery waters below. Suddenly, the rainbow morphed itself into dozens of firebirds that squawked and pirouetted across the lake leaving smoking steam trails upon the surface until finally collapsing into the waters in giant bubbles and mist. The crowd went mad and jumped to its feet! Next up, was Benoni Naks, daughter of famous fireworker Thaddeus Naks who surely had shared some of his most prized ingredients with her. She flew gracefully over the enthusiastic crowd before landing on the stage. Her glass vials were many and tall and she
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Aart Frazee lit up the sky with his magnificent firework display. wasted no time in employing them to feed her fire and it was in a flash that she shot up and over to one side of the lake roaring out flames and then quickly carrying the fire stream all the way to the other side leaving behind her a colorful trail of a fiery rainstorm that seemed to hover a few seconds before collapsing into hundreds of flittering fireflies
that twinkled over the wide eyed crowd and lake before fading into a luminescent vapor. The excited crowd hollered and whistled again and could not stop applauding Miss Naks, so stunned were they. Next was Bruce Chalfont, who whizzed smiling over the crowd, building up their anticipation. He released small fire streams
much to their delight and removed a tiny, glass vial which he gulped quickly down, still hovering above them while they clapped their hands in unison. He took a pinch from a velvet bag and he was off, racing high into the air and then flew fast around the rim of the lake, shooting out fireballs, that hovered awaiting his command. He flew up, high in the center and released a volcano of fire from his belly that turned into a colorful stardust geyser at the same time all the fireballs erupted into stardust and the entire lake reflected back the amazing effect of glittery waters. The crowd was Wowed and a long applause followed. Out of the darkness, an emerald green volcano of fire erupted into the night, collecting gasps from the crowd. Fireworker Lane Chaney raced around it, letting leap out swirls of purples dotted with blue. The colors were gorgeous against the black sky and they built up into a waterfall of color. The crowd kept clapping and whistling. The 5 Massey Brothers were up next. They flew expertly around the lake accompanied by the lavish arrangements of the Caroll Foshee Qunitet who joined them with a booming waltz. They began to fire weave a series of pictures that soon hypnotized the crowd. Fiery strands of rubies mixed with Blues and Greens collided with Yellows and Oranges. The crowd watched in awe as they transformed the dark night into a fiery, intricate patchwork; always adding more detail as the flamey lines matched the beautiful music. Once again, the crowd showed their thanks, through a seemingly never-ending applause. General newcomers Chelsea Rankert, Birdie Shay, Laas Heredia and Siney Turley followed all equally with astonishing acts of fireworking though not quite as original as their more experienced predecessors. Then the show ended, relieving tired eyes. The crowd began to break up and amateur dragons took to the waters to try their hands at fireworking. Little bursts of colorful flame would erupt, seemingly out of nowhere, over the shimmering waters.
Summer Nights Celebration X July 10th in Tiogo Park, Adony
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RECREA.
Summer ‘09 – 5
Chase Colliver relives his days of Pirate Peating I
n those days, it wasn’t enough how long you held your breath or how rich you wanted to get- you had to be born to do it and many said, if there’s such a thing as a natural born peater, than Chase Colliver was it. With legions of fans and a natural friendly ease, it’s no wonder why he’s such a sought
after professor of peating but he insists, ‘it’s not all about what you find in the peat- it’s the Ceremony, the Adventure.’ Colliver goes on to explain, ‘when you set out on your boat, each day is different, the weather, the smells, you never know what to expect or what you’ll find. Birds, animals, sea life, the creatures of the Nolans, no 2 days are alike and it’s the love of adventure that creates great peatists. Things are challenging. You gotta become like a rock. You can uncover some pretty unexpected things down there, deep in the peat.’ So, what was the most mysterious thing he discovered with his over 40 years of experience? ‘All kinds of things, some weirder than others. A hand still clutching a silver spoon and it wouldn’t let it go, a lady’s silken slipper with a bony foot still inside. Those things will make your heart race. Some things where you ask yourself, how in the Colliver says, ‘finding a bony foot in a silken
world did this get here? Other things that will make your heart stop cold. Like the time I rescued Gaius Cannut.’ The recovery of Gaius Cannut made headlines from coast to coast. A bog body who had been buried thousands of years ago wrapped in a big chunk of peat and buried far from the light of day. One exposed arm reached out and grabbed passing peatist, Chase Colliver, scaring the living daylights out of him, 10 years ago. ‘Nothing in all of my training prepared me for that. And I take that sensation to my students today, to prepare them for the unexpected.’ Today, Cannut and Colliver remain close friends and peating courses are often held in a gorgeous Bog that Norwood Forest gifted to Gaius Cannut. ‘No one knows peat like a bog body. He’s a wealth of information.’ Now, that the hot humid season of pirate peating is in full swing, the Isle of Amaya will soon find pirates from all walks of life sailing up to its shores for the annual full scale Scavenger Hunt arranged by Pioneer Peatists such as Chase Colliver who participated this year in hiding many of the much sought after prizes. ‘It’s not going to be easy this year,..’ But that surely will not deter any of the Pirates from trying their hands especially with the dazzling promise of prizes in way of tools and accessories for their ships. Join the Pirates and come out to the Historic Isle of Amaya, last weekend in June where festivities and other activities will be planned!
slipper,’ made his heart race.
Cauldron Lifting Tragedy
Spectators Ghrost Out
K
elenen- A terrible tragedy occurred on Tuesday to 2 time title winner, Adaliza Cox when she lost her footing and took the bulk of boiling Dragon Spit onto her head and body. ‘Instantly, her body literally melted before our eyes- it was horrible! We saw her ghost still standing there holding, what seemed to be a hologram of the pot. It happened so fast-- I don’t think she realized,’ said coach, Walka Webb. In fact, the poor ghost of Miss Adaliza Cox is still standing confused in the same position today-- quite unsure of why she has received no applause and wondering where all the people have gone. Counselors from Specters Anon have been dispatched. Adaliza Cox lost the title with her untimely death and newcomer, Mamie Snow Waas will be claiming the title this year for her amazing strength in Cauldron Lifting’s new record of 45 seconds. Kudos to her!
6 – Summer ‘09
fey cordials, ...for th e thirsty! Elderberry + Dandelion & Burdock + Mango + Rose & Passion Fruit Adaliza Cox is still unaware she’s no longer of this World.
RECREA.
Ginger Beer + Raspberry Vinegar + Lavender & Basil Ades + Lemon, Cherry & Blackberry Ades = Invigoratingly Magical!
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Gellatly Summer Camp
Synchronized Fireflies, Red Twilights and Never Taking a Bath F
ew words more beautiful can be uttered to a child than, ‘skip your bath today!’, But that seems to be the norm at Gellatly where camp counsellors say the children spend so much time in lakes, waterfalls and lagoons - who needs a proper bath? And if that’s any recipe for happiness then it shows on all the frolicking youngsters that present a pretty scene with their laughter and games while running form one recreation to another.
‘It’s not like we have more special recreations than the next camp we just try to allow a freedom that can sometimes be lacking elsewhere,’ said Coach Guerin who has been with Gellatly for over 5 years. It is true that the camp offers all the usual sailing parties, rambles n’ rides, card games and bonfired marshmallow parties but it does offer something else: A spectacular natural beauty with a roaring river, the Vanamee as well as Gellatly’s amazing red Twilights that
are caused by volcanic ash particles in the air that although, the Duychinck Volcano hasn’t been active in years it still ushers forth these extraordinary Twilights. Then there’s the other natural phenomenon that people come far and wide to witness: the synchronized fireflies that slowly appear after the Twilight. Lighting up the woods all at once with their green luminescence and then suddenly turning the woods dark again. This in itself gives enormous joy to all. And if that
Doppelganger Relay Race by Dalton Finch with Veteran Ralph Davis T
he much anticipated Doppelganger Games started early Tuesday morning, much to the delight of the eagerly awaiting residents of Watonga. There were 30 different competing couples. Each accompanied by his or her doppelganger and why, Ralph, do you think that people get so excited with the years Doppelganger games opposed to say last quarters balloon racing? What makes it so enticing to crowds?’ ‘Well, the balloon racers have their fans, to say the least but Doppelgangers have a wider appeal based solely on their reputations to do one another harm or good. With them, it can be a bit of a psychological struggle. It’s physical, mental--- it’s competitive on most planes which makes it intense. The fans can feel that.’ ‘Usually, when a Doppelganger reaches out his hand there is a lot of anticipation, will he yank it back? Will he be there for his partner? What are his motives because, Ralph, you know for some of these Gangers there’s nothing more they want in the world than to get rid of their partner, take over their entire life, their Existence!’
‘You’re absolutely right, some would love that. And it’s that tension, that insecurity that simmers right below the surface. It’s that intense excitement that can sometimes be lacking with other recreations.’ ‘But newcomers to this sport ask me all the time, ‘is it all bad?’ And no, I answer it’s not. It’s an incredible learning experience for all involved. Take the Drew Mylrea pair. That DG must’ve saved Mylrea at least 5 times and to this day they work fantastic together. I think they help the poor. Cook and build houses. No, Dalton, there are lots of triumphs. More so than tragedies.’ ’‘what’re we looking at today? How are things standing?’ ‘Well, it’s getting to be crunch time. Here, after the chess games which seem to be dragging on for an eternityas they always do, we’ll see a sharp twist in the games, a lot of action. You’ll likely see partners drop off and by this time next week, I predict we’ll have a winner.’ ‘Wanna set your money on anyone in particular?’ ‘Can’t say yet, but I’m keeping my eye on Tabitha Moll. They’re displaying an acute awareness of how to work together.’ ‘Thank you Ralph Davies, former Champion of DGG.’
weren’t enough, a band of gypsies also sets up their camp nearby and year after year they have become famous for their story swapping round the fires, fortune telling and wacky day time games that delight the children. But ask any child that flits to and fro and he’ll most certainly say, ‘it is the best place in the world!’ While not really knowing why and isn’t that what Summer’s all about?
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Fairy Free Falling T
he fairies who gather in the hot months of Summer out at Reyes Rock Quarry in Dauphin Wood are just as perplexed to see the small crowds that have gathered in recent weeks to witness their flying antics as are the curious spectators who watch, mystified. ‘I wish I could do that,’ sighed Penny Imkey, as a small creature way up on a rocky cliff flings himself over the edge, twisting into all sorts of strange positions, then, in a flash, catching himself before hitting the bottom. One has to wonder if there has every been anybody that has hit the bottom but Fairies laugh this off and say that’s not where the challenge lies. ‘People that don’t fly can’t understand how easy it is not to hit the bottom. What’s hard theFiligree.com
is all the moves and how many we can fit in, before we come close to the bottom,’ said, Zenes Amador, local free falling pioneer and prolific spawner of new tricks. He shakes his head and adds, ‘we think it’s kinda weird that people like that part instead of the tricks.’ But of course they enjoy the tricks, too. ‘Oh, yea, they are fantastic!’ One spectator agreed, ‘but they are so tiny up there, we can’t really see what they are doing, we can just see how fast they do it. It’s pretty cool.’ Whether other winged creatures will take part in this new sport is still undetermined and most fairies hope they will but for now it’s every weekend out at Reyes Rock Quarry.
RECREA.
Summer ‘09 – 7
Ever Increasing demands in Time Travel Test Oliphant Sipes feeling Heat as Excitement reaches Fever Pitch
O
liphant Sipes has continued to demand new conditions in the Great Time Travel Test that is to take place in a fortnight in Pacalonis Square. The test, which pro-Oliphants dub, ‘unfair,’ and ‘an absurd waste of time’ but which anti-Oliphants will seek to expose him for the TT fraud they believe him to be. ‘His demands are becoming increasingly ridiculous and we cannot possibly accept them! Common sense prevails!’ said Scientist and judge, McCamey Catterlin speaking in regards to the large reward that will be on the table if Sipes is able to travel just, ‘2 tiny hours into the future and bring back with him the small object that has yet to be placed at the City Hall!’ ‘So little,’ said dubious passer-by Joanna Zaring who seriously doubts the skills of Oliphant Sipes. But he does have an impressive collection of Scientists backing him that firmly believe
that not only has he broken through the 4th dimension of Time but that he is far from being another mere dimension weaver out for Fame and Fortune. If that is the case, others argue then why so many conditions? Why not grab this object and be done with it? Surely the test mustn’t take place under a safe canopy of Dark? Why can’t the world know these processes if so celebrated? Already several other exposed conjurors have come forward to offer their opinions on Sipes and also to extend their theories on how he will attempt to play the people and the press at the upcoming Test. ‘He will make them all crazy with his demands and conditions. Much like he is doing now. Until all will lose interest and give up. He can return home without Shame or Humiliation,’ said Samuel Pedigo. Another added, ‘there is no way he has
cracked the 4th dimension and I am sure he will not go through with this test. Why? Because Sipes is a hoax and he will be in the history books as one. I’m sorry to the little ones that believe, but so it is.’ Still, there are many that swear by his gifts and know what they saw, ‘He knew I was going to get this fabulous promotion. He was in my office. He left me a note. It was most bizarre and there is simply no other explanation than, the man can Time Travel. Like it or not!’ said one time customer, Louella Gales. Some like it and others don’t and while the region sits impatiently and talks about the what- ifs and whether this is yet again another hoax, somewhere there lies an object in the middle waiting to be transported from the future to the past or the other way around and though it doesn’t know it, it represents all of our futures- be it real or a hoax.
Oliphant Sipes makes more Demands.
Marjeta opens Colossal Water Park M
arjeta at Moultries If you need yet another reason to escape to the cool Moultries during the hot Summer months then come July 1st let Artemisia seal the deal for you. With a stunning gallery of State of the Art slides full of crystal clear cavern waters and dark twists and turns, it is an adventure that is sure to be an instant classic. Water slides are not new to the Moultries and it’s always been part of their history everyone enjoys but Artemisia takes it to a whole new level. With breathtaking drops into glowy waters, upside down surprises and
always those mysterious purples, greens, rubies and sapphires that is synonymous with cave sliding. Artemisia stretches from Marjeta to Muglise, conquering impressive ground. When you end up at one part you can easily take connecting tubes to others or exit, dry off and meet friends in one of the many Moultrian hot spots. For those that tire of sliding, an expansive trolley system is set up. Tickets run a full day and there’s even full day trickets available for the insatiably adventurous.
Primghar Museum of Art extends its already Fabulous Nolans Collection P
rimghar Museum has made the recent acquisition of several pieces of stunning artwork that reflect the character of the Nolans over the last 500 years. The new collection includes several paintings, a pair of decorative screens, a jewel encrusted drinking horn and a headpiece all very typical Nolansian that reflects the highest quality of workmanship one can obtain from the Art market. A rare and exquisite collection of jewelry was also acquired and absolutely sure to Wow
all spectators. Primghar will host a series of speaking events with Nolansian Scholars, Art historians and modern Artists who will explore our unique tie with one another. The museum will also have extended Summer hours, closing its doors at 7 p.m. opening again at 9 a.m. Patrons are welcome to enjoy a picnic lunch on the Museums sprawling lawns overlooking the coast or the restaurant serves cold or hot entrees 10-5 p.m
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Post-Apocalypse, not a Feather A
world of pure darkness? No, a world of only light. Whatever your end of the world preferences Jack Ott’s got it all in his new one man show entitled, ‘Post Apocalypse, not a Feather’. ‘I wanted to explore all types of Apocalypses because sometimes I think for some people, Now is One,’ he said while placing a hairball inside a shell. ‘Sometimes people or animals or insects hate heat, well, would an Apocalypse for them be heat? Or would it be cool? Living in a world of ice? One painting is ice crystals, another is under the sea. Then I constructed ‘metal
bone’ after bones and metals. I’m sure someone, somewhere hates the idea of a world full of bones and metal.’ The giant bone greets the guest as they awkwardly pass it to peek around at the paintings or puddles of goo on the floor. ‘C’mon think about it! Goo to me or to you is just goo, but for a tiny creature it’s the Apocalypse, man...that’s it.’ Feathers cover the next floor and Ott assures all they were donated or actually loaned- ‘I know several people that have a fear of feathers,-- it keeps them up at night. Don’t ask
me why, but I explored it. That’s what I do.’ The feathers just lie there and creep some people out while others walk over them, muddying up once pretty white feathers but Jack Ott insists, ‘the dirt is all part of it,-- at the end we get dirty. We don’t need soap, we need survival!’ For many, Ott has confounded the Art world with sculptures balanced precariously between absurd and well, absurd, ‘but his editing is good,’ one critic insists, ‘he knows when to pull it back, where he pulls it to is up to him, but he pulls it so that makes it Art.’
Perhaps the next room needed a little more editing as there isn’t a free space on the wall. Nails and colored pencils that swirl. ‘My girlfriend hates colored pencils and nails, ..she just does. That’s her Apocalypse.’ ‘And what’s your Apocalypse, Jack?’ ‘I don’t know.’ Show begins: July 11 with reception from 5-7 p.m. and runs until the 21st. Darby Ryal Gallery, Freegle
Lorimor Sculpture Garden presents the Life and Works of Euphrasia Grey T
he flowery corridors of Lorimor Sculpture Garden will be decorated with the dazzling works of Euphrasia Grey who celebrates her 92nd birthday this August. The opening of this exhibit coincides with the newly released and partly shocking unauthorized biography of Euphrasia Grey that has recently hit bookstores. ‘Somewhere Beneath,’ tells the story of an obsessive and domineering Mrs. Grey that suffers from insomnia and can hack a lump of marble in record time despite her tiny frame. Not few in its accounts of her mad moments, it reveals many strange habits never before heard.
Mrs. Grey has refused to comment on the immensely popular book but rumors, not surprisingly, hint at her displeasure. Many of her eccentric pieces, which have been described by ‘Art Now,’ ‘as a painful foray into a world of Marble and Woe,’ are on loan to Lorimor and promise to be an awesome sight amongst the vines in the labyrinthine gardens, especially at Twilight. Check calenders for events as there are to be many during Summer,... Grey’s ‘sculpture lilies,’ bedeck Lorimor’s center pond.
Mimmie Bedillion’s Magic Fabric
Machines and Moonlight, an introspective into Metal and Mist
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wiggy branches seemingly soaked with Mist tap, tap at the window- A metal hinge squeaks it open and through the Moonlight, Ratslaf Raycraft howls his opening operatic howl-- the listener is suspended for a moment. We seem to find ourselves in a junk yard surrounded by scrap metal, discarded machines that catch the glow of the Moon. All the while Raycraft takes
Loyal Romschek, ‘VitaMine’
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our hand and shows us Machinery and Nature are One. Granted, this strange and for the most part uninvited journey is not for everyone but the concept is strong and heard loud & clear & sharp. Raycraft continues to make ArtRock into a dynamic ever-shifting collage. Where the ideas stem from-- or what in the world they mean is less important than the vivid imagery he conjures.
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oyal’s new album, VitaMine has recently been released and it’s an album she insists is food for the ears and not only just your average run o’ the mill food, but healthy food at that! One never considered, however, healthy food to be so saturated
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in self indulgence as to make one not want to take another bite. But luckily for Miss Romschek, there are plenty of fans out there who will eat any pie she bakes, even if burnt or just plain filled with bad ingredients.
Summer ‘09 – 9
Tenabell’s, the original Bend & Breakfast W
hen Tabitha Tenabell opened her B&B over 60 years ago outside Duniway Station, she had no idea how famous it would become. “No, no idea, whatsoever! And now? Well, I’m booked solid for the next 50 years!’ She says as she attends to all the small details in the kitchen: watering her many strange and seemingly carnivorous plants and occasionally settling on a stool to polish silver, she reminisces and thinks back to when she first opened the B&B. ‘My husband and I were young dreamers and poor. We were living on an old house boat when I inherited Uncle Zadya’s estate. It was
a big misery when we got it. Everything was broken and we didn’t have money to fix it. But we did have that big barn out back full of scrap metal and wood pieces so we just started patching everything up like a quilt and the house started getting bendy and titling like and we thought that was fun. It’s so big and we didn’t know what to do with all the space. Rooms that go into rooms, that lead into secret rooms. We decided to make a B&B out of it. I’m pretty good with plants and at cooking. So I put plants everywhere and we made it really comfy cozy. We didn’t know if anyone would come and we certainly didn’t think they would
come because of all the tilts but I guess that’s what sealed the deal--’ The rooms twist and turn unexpectedly, rise up and swoop down without a warning. There’s a finely decorated & polished corridor that is anything but straight and that demands of its guests to put themselves in the most ridiculous of positions to get from point A to point B. ‘At anytime of the day you can find someone hanging on, crawling or clawing to get somewhere. It’s a hoot,’ says Mrs. Tenabell, who after 60 years of growing with the ever tilting house or ‘bendy travel’ as she calls it, has developed a strange and strong physique and is quick as a
whip-it. Her husband is quick too, and occasionally walks through the kitchen with all its irregularities and doesn’t seem to notice, ‘it’s strange walking on flat ground. Don’t like it much. I prefer a tilt,’ he adds before he’s off to patch a bend that’s busted at the seams. Guests at the Bend & Breakfast enjoy delicious breakfasts on crooked verandas or hanging from slanted hammocks and they all agree the breakfast is the best by far-Or is it the taste of finally getting a warm bit of hash brown down after all that struggle? Whatever your fancy, you haven’t really slept sound-- til you’ve tried sleeping upside down!
Tasha’s Trearoom, perfectly restored T
asha’s Trearoom in Drobny Forest is more than 200 years old and full of nooks and crannies to enjoy a fragrant cup of tea and after the recent restoration that included replacing fragile stained glass in the ceiling above, there is no better time to revisit it. Perched high in the tree tops of Drobny Forest, Tasha’s has catered to true tea connoisseurs for generations with its deliciously mysterious blends that are somehow always, ‘Tasha’s’. In fact, most of the flowers and herbs that make up her exquisite blends come from the sprawling gardens below that now in Summer, are a breathtaking sight to behold especially peeked out through the many other colorful stained glass windows that surround the treahouse or enjoyed out in the sun on one of the many wrap around porches that
offer plenty of quaint tables and flowering vines. Not to be overshadowed by the unique tea collection is the countless array of confections in Tasha’s bakery. Dainty tea cakes are served on 3 tiered trays that are weighted down with other scrumptious offerings. There are frosted cakes and old fashioned gingerbread, sweet dumplings and assorted tea sandwiches, warm powder biscuits and tasty preserves and many other sweet treats that compliment the tea and the surroundings perfectly. The unconventional rooms are tastefully decorated and there isn’t an empty space for the eyes to rest so full are they of pretty pictures or plants. Luncheon is served from 12 on weekdays and from 1 on Sunday and tea from within a 1/2 hour of closing.
Buffington’s Kettle Cake Caboose P
erhaps the strain of making the regions best pancakes is what forced Conductor Buffington’s Kettle Cake Caboose to hitch another train car to better serve his customers who customarily are known to wait up until an hour for a seat on the often times cramped yet cozy caboose. Buffington’s boasts the best of caboose steamed pancakes cooked in their authentic kettles that used to steam the train. Random hollers of ‘tickets ready’ accompa-
nied by spontaneous tootings of the great train whistle get the hungry guests in just the right mood for a hearty plate of steamed cakes that never disappoint. The new train car promises to be just as charming with velvety cushions and colorful lanterns and will accommodate easily an additional 30 guests for its Grand Opening this Sunday.
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10 – Summer ‘09
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Enchantment Encampment in Sangamon Forest A
n en masse re-enactment will be taking center stage in a large part of Sangamon Forest the last week in August and all who wish to join in must follow the strict book of rules provided by the fairy society as well as sign off on several liability forms, relinquishing full responsibility. Tho these extensive procedures that essentially protect both the Fairy Society as well as the traveler, might seem somewhat exhausting the enchantment
itself is an extraordinary experience that many taut as, ‘Life Changing.’ “It’s difficult to explain if you haven’t done it,’ said former traveler, Penny Grennan and that response seems to be the general consensus. The Enchantment Encampment strives to be as historically accurate as possible and re-enacts the real Life, ‘Spiriting Away,’ of nearly a thousand travelers by a Fairy ring, hundreds
of years ago. The entire group vanished suddenly into thin air only to be released again 7 years later much aged and disoriented. The Encampment will take participants that meet all requirements into their own 7 day foray into Fairy where they will experience some of the same things the earlier travellers did, both beautiful and disturbing. They will also have the unique opportunity to rub elbows with other creatures, travelers and be-
ings that chanced upon a fairy ring and are themselves serving sentences in this other realm. It promises to be educational and uplifting and Traveler magazine calls it, ‘A Must for anyone that takes traveling seriously.’ Enchantment auditions begin August 9 in Sangamon Forest
Insectia symphony Velpen’s got Blackheads presents, ‘Night Song’ W
ith Summer in high swing, there are plenty of opportunities to enjoy Summer’s nightly insect symphony and in different regional patches the songs are different. Accents change, dialects shift and the songs may become more Suspenseful, maybe Gloomy or bursting with Glee. But few are as well organized and presentable as Isle of Paskewyn’s Insectia Sympony. Their particularly strange island songs are refreshing to many of the inlanders who quickly tire of the monotonous, though well meaning singers of those regions. ‘We try to incorporate Paskewyn’s song into other styles. Mix and match and offer a ‘best of that Summer,’ to our listeners. So far, the response has been
genuinely welcoming,’ says show conductor, Calvin Rukstellis who formed the troop 2 years ago after realizing he was surrounded ‘by a gold mine of talent.’ ‘It’s what we do on Paskewyn. It’s Island living. The hot days make one sing the heat away-- into the muggy nights. The songs shift and morph and take on lives of their own’. The troop usually has a performance somewhere every weekend. Guests are invited to bring picnic baskets. Local companies usually provide paddle boats and light refreshments and it’s good times for family and friends that enjoy the soothing music that takes them off to mystical Isles they dream of visiting.
T
he Blackheads are back with a new album. This time it’s even more repulsive than the last. ‘the Pus in Us,’ takes us on an inward journey through the most hidden and disgusting channels of the body. ‘Blood Vessel,’ is an intense roller coaster of a song that has its fair share of screaming guitar and manic drumming and ‘Cyst,’ joins it in its delirium while, ‘Lovely Liver,’ takes us to the cozy, quiet place of the body’s Great Toxic Pit. The Blackheads will be coming to Velpen on Friday where their legendary
clothes will be as filthy as you hope and their greasy heads will be stuffed to the rim with scabs, crusties and scared, confused insects that they’ll most surely fling off onto you as they bang their heads and jump around stage. The high energy of their shows pretty much guarantees everyone will leave at least with a little pus on them. And how else for the Blackheads to show their appreciation?
The Blackhead’s to play Velpen Gault Auditorium, July 10th 8p.m.
Ghosts, Fairies and Sylphs, oh My! W
ispy creatures from all around turned out last Winter for the annual Giselle auditions that when staged in Dauphin Wood in late July will attract thousands of eager, spellbound fans. This year, rumors have swirled as to who will play the much coveted role of Giselle and many agree that it is newcomer, Saphronia Quinby that will make her balletic debut on the stunning stage. ‘She gave a stellar audition,’ said Adelbert Beasley, Artistic director of Bayonne Ballet, ‘her technique was impeccable. She was born to play Giselle. She seemed so translucent. I could’ve sworn she was 1part human 1 part ghost, which is the ideal mixture for Giselle.’ The large ensemble of classically trained
sylphs, fairies and other woodland creatures will be dressed by genius costumer, Erilv Elly, in Sibley and promises to be a feast for the eyes with plenty of flyaway tulle, peasant corsettes and pancaked pointe shoes. ‘Ah, the pitter- patter of pointe shoes on the stage beneath the Twilight canopy of Dauphin wood. The fireflies. The Symphony. I can’t wait,’ said impatient ticket holder, Abner James. Perhaps, the most anticipated part of the ballet will be Giselle’s famous mad scene which coincides perfectly with the darkening of the wood. ‘A prima ballerina is measured by her madness.’ Concluded Adelbert Beasley. July 31 thru August 13- check event calenders for times.
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Summer ‘09 – 11
Othel Hughes, dramatist N
othing like a giant to induce a little proper drama into a situation and stemming from a long line of Giant dramatists, Othel Hughes knows what its like to question Joy’s existence. ‘My Life’s journey takes me to the border of Melancholy and to the doors of Joy. I know no one will answer because Joy isn’t neighbors with Melancholy anymore. So I go to Sadness and say, ‘Joy, is this your neighborhood?’ But Silence grabs me and escorts me back to Melancholy. Those borders between neighboring emotions, nothing lives. Is it tucked away in their houses? Does the one emotion house them all? Then why does one
emotion terrify us?’ A wonderfully, zig-zagging roller-coaster of questions, Othel Hughes presents something deeper that, when magnified has been claimed by some, to be Truth. But Hughes laughs at this, ‘Truth continuously runs from me. We aren’t necessarily on the best of terms, perhaps because I use him and he uses me. A relationship based on convenience always crumbles, but Truth is a noble partner and I will continue to use him until he deserts me.’ Tickets for Othel Hughes/Wembly Theater will be available the first week of July and show dates are July 23-30
Othel Hughes will be questioning Existence at Wembly Theater July 23-30
‘Peaceful River Living,’ by Darin Beeson W
ant to make the most of your burrow or cavette? Then the well composed book of, ‘Peaceful River Living,’ by Darin Beeson describes in much detail how to maximise small spaces. ‘Lighting is essential. A few small flickering flames from a candle can cast irrestible shadows around an earthen den or there are the mosaics with chips of mirrors that can add
extra space and serious handmade charm. Art is a serious spirit lifter when things get dark and dreary in the Winter. Now, in Summer months, fresh cut flowers and decorative crockery spilling with fruits are a must.’ Mr. Beeson will be available for questions and signings at the Summer Nights Celebration in Tiogo Park, Adony.
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Magdaline Dial’s, ‘Fly Away’ W
hen, ‘Fly Away,’ hit book stores last month a reading frenzy began and still doesn’t show signs of letting off. ‘3 words?’ asked local commuter, Frank McCallard, ‘Enrapturing. Exciting and Endless!’ he said with a chuckle before adding, ‘the book is long!’ Coming in at nearly 900 pgs. Ms. Dial’s new book is sure to keep old fans satisfied while gaining legions of new ones. It continues to follow the jet set life of Lucinda
Fate and her adventures. ‘Fans will be surprised as certain characters will unveil their true identities,’ hinted Ms. Dial recently at a book signing, leading some to speculate that perhaps Lucinda Fate would reveal she was the adopted girls mother after all, from, ‘Just the Morning’ creating a ripple in the dynamics of the book. As of yet, there have been no spoilers as eyes are still trying to take in all the words.
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Elton Hinson’s ‘the Life Light’
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lton Hinson has reaped praise in his new book, ‘the Life Light,’ that follows the true story of a Moultrian pit fall survivor that spent 6 weeks in total darkness before finally being rescued. It reveals in horrific detail the ordeals and creatures he faced in his struggle to return to, ‘the Life Light’.
12 – Summer ‘09
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SU M M E R events calender Harlow Woods presents, Summer Storm! An exciting light show in Harlow Woods thickets of leafy branches near Lavada Lake. Last year, the small water lily specked lake ushered forth a lovely mist that blended fabulously with the lightning flashes that shot through the trees. Other swamp mists, it has been rumored will also be in attendance for this years show. June 27th, twilight Parade of Ponds, Mintady The Mintady Pond society offers a self toured Parade of Ponds every Sat. night July 1 thru Sept. 1 from dusk til---? Take a stroll through the gorgeous Mintady caves and enjoy the serene nightlife. The pathway will be lantern lit and additional lighting will be provided thanks to the many self illuminating inhabitants Mintady’s Ponds boast. Aside from the natural splendor of this part of the Moultrian caves, Mintady also has plenty of shopping, eating and sleeping accommodations and detailed maps will be provided thanks to the Pond Society. Botanical Gardens holds Summer hours Cape Marion’s Unique and Impressive botanical Gardens will hold extended Summer hours until 9 p.m to allow guest to view the gardens during darker hours as well as to attend its many events such as Garden Cocktails featuring different flowers in bloom and candlelit dancing in the conservatory. In addition to it’s ever popular early Bird Walks that take place every Wed., the Orchid hall will be in full bloom with fragrant, stunning orchids. The Orangery is currently serving tea from the many spices it grows in the garden. Enjoy fresh plucked vanilla, cinnamon, pepper and ginger teas. Pies are baked up fresh daily and one can enjoy them in the, ‘Garden under Glass’, while watching the various fluttering butterflies that live in the Orangery. Hours, Tues-Sun 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.
secrets with up n’ comers. Bring a midnight picnic and join the Organ trio for some of their best hits. Every Sat. night in Summer. Whistlemaking with Finnegan Pera Learn about the different techniques employed to make a wide variety of whistles and leave with your own small collection! This course provides detailed info on how to correctly fashion a fipple and how to design your own penny whistles, steam whistles and even bird whistles. Courses run Begin., Inter., and Advanced and there will be an end of course recital because there’s no use making whistles if you don’t know how to use them! Goshen Community Center, July 1 to Sept. 1 Talent Show in Adony Can you do something no one else can do? Then you might want to consider signing up for the Adony Talent show which premiers in the main square from 5-7p.m. on June 27 2 tri-ckets to Marjeta’s WaterSlide Park will be up for grabs. Sibley’s Ice Cream Crankin’ in Ione Park Special returning Ice Cream artists: Ida Devore, Jane Rothrock and Norville Spiker. A ticket goes to all you can eat o’ the cream and proceeds go to the Imaginary Friends Foundation, (IFF) for help with learning, housing and clothing. August 15th 3p.m. to 7 p.m.
Isle of Amaya Pirate & Peatin’ Scavanger Hunt w/special guests Pieces of Eight, Illuminated Hand, Splinter and many more! Comediennes Mads Turley, Hiram Divinney and Rita Ruth. Delicious Food and Fun Festivities for the whole family! July 10-12 Anglesly’s Graveyard Jig in Tewksberry Back by popular demand! 1st and 3rd Fridays through Summer. Barefoot Lawn Bowling w/ the Prigmore Bowls League Hop from lawn to lawn this Summer while being footloose and fancy free! Watch expert bowlers or compete yourself in singles or pairs. Bowls are provided for those that wish to join in. Meet ups 2 x weekly thru Summer. Prigmore Comm. Center. Dahlia Festival in Attica Anemones, collerettes, pompons and paeonys! The many disguises of the exquisite Dahlia will be on full display in Attica last weekend in June. Podlings and seeds will be available for sale and swaps are encouraged! Sponsered by the Bayonne Society of Dahlias, seeking to share and support this most beautiful of flowers! Riddlecraft Legend, Storey Foote to lecture at Keeldura Hall. Lecure is advanced and will be held entirely composed of Enigmas and Conundrums. Fans of Foote will enjoy this interactive discussion into Riddlecraft with one of the fields pioneers.
Valley o’ Tombs Restoration Weekend Festival
Werless Hollow Art Well 3 Artists have enclosed themselves in 3 separate wells in Werless Hollow, protesting Summer, Sun and the ‘theory of warmth’ altogether. Visitors are encouraged to visit and write notes which can then be dropped down to the Artists who intend on making collages out of them. The collages will then be on permanent exhibit in the wells and the Art Well Opening will take place August 7 5-9 p.m. No shirt, No shoes, -No service!
July 17-19
Drugalis, Illuminated Hand,
the Tennie Duck Studios opens its doors the 2nd Sunday in June from 2-4 p.m. to invite the curious into the lives of its artists to see how they work, their methods and becoming a part of their community.
Addison Hall Quintet,
Alexandria Fry, soprano, will be soloing with the Wiley Chorus at the Summer Nights Celebration on July 10th in Tiogo Park, Adony. Check event placards for more info.
Artisan Market
Lee-Lizenbee Band Comedy & Dance Acts
Kinsey Adams will be in concert in Mintady at Moultries performing many of his greatest hits. Velonia Inn, June 27th.
Refreshments & Rejoicing!
the Anthony Vance Band will rock Lorimor Cross in Attica Tuesday Aug. 25 Sure to keep nearby residents up into Dawn. Fortnightly Barn Revelry in Quinby. Dance into the Sun comes up w/ musical entertainment by: Daddy Dauphin Duo + the Kasmir Clan. Attending dancers include the Bangleslies, Pinelly’s Group and many of the best Moultrian Dancers, refreshments provided. 1st & 3rd Sundays Caller: Pheobe Noe Magic Carpet rides at Fitzalen’s Castle Garden Obediah Crane will open his gardens last weekend of July for the Annual Fitzalen Garden party, complete with storytelling, chocolate making, music, talent show and the famous carpet rides, courtesy of Wikstrom’s. Many of the regions finest artisans will exhibit their talents.
RESTOr
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Slagle Cemetery’s Organ Trio For organ enthusiasts everywhere! This talented and dynamic trio has been playing organs under the light of the moon for centuries. They adore taking requests and sharing their
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A&E
Summer ‘09 – 13
Seasonal Suggestions Fireflies entering a home announces an upcoming party H Summer festivities should always begin late and it’s never necessary to bring a date H Mossy grass and twinkling stars make for wonderful dance partners H Although too modest to say so, Summer insects are naturally gifted and never suffered formal musical training H When cakes are gobbled and spirits are high sometimes a party can dance you to the morning light H A late Summer sleep can bring flying dreams H Hold the big toes of the one who is speaking in his sleep and he will answer your questions H To see a spider spinning a web in the morning means a dress is being woven for you H While dressing, if you notice a hole in your sock a letter is on its way to you, the bigger the hole, the better the letter! H If the mailman comes before breakfast, a thunderstorm is seriously on the rise H Flowers emit a stronger fragrance before the rain, so be sure to open your windows and doors wide H Beware! You may scald fairies if you dump the dishwater out the back too hastily! H Exciting mail can only be enjoyed with a refreshment and after all the house chores are done H Gifts made with lots of thought cannot be purchased, borrowed or bought H When preparing a thank you parcel be sure to include tiny seeds from your garden where you’ve buried your treasures H Give to your garden a potato muffin and a mug of beer and no slugs will haunt it H Although Slugs boast a refined palette they will surprisingly, never enter a garlicy garden H Potatoes are eccentric creatures and thrive under damp, rotten porches H The only way to rid oneself of hiccups is to perform them for an audience H Veranda tap dancing attracts pretty flowers H Always plant your beans in the light of the Moon and they will be full of sweet, plump podlings H Rub a bothersome wart with a bean and toss it over your left shoulder in June’s last dark moon H A little chili pepper sprinkled over the threshold will deter any visitors from stopping by H A breezy evening floats this way, don’t worry Summer! I’ll come out tomorrow to play,...
14 – Summer ‘09
J.J. Skiles
locomotive mechanics New & Used Trainery Fixing Trains of All Sizes.
A&E
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Dear Horsetorian, I’m an old man and I run an antique bookstore in one of our lovely coastal towns. Recently I took on a partner as I felt I wasn’t up to doing all the work myself. My partner is a good friend and he is a phantasm which has been an enormous strength to me and my business as he possesses a wealth of antique knowledge. But on the other hand, he can be a bit old fashioned even for an ancient man like myself. He thinks romance novels are cutting age! And he reads them all the day long! My problem, Horsetorian, is that while he reads, which is seemingly all the time he laughs out loud and even cries and he has to involve me in all the little details of the protagonists lives and I really feel like I’m ‘not on the same page’. I think these ridiculous love stories are beginning to interfere with his work because he is so involved and he scares away clients with his roaring laughter or sobbing tears. When customers ask for reading advice he’s always very animate about his own books which they in turn feel obligated to buy. I’m afraid I’m losing customers. Whatever should I do? Burdened Bookkeeper Dear Burdened Bookkeeper, Although he may be scaring away your customers, perhaps he’s attracting his customers? There must be an untapped market out there for antiques and silly romance novels. Maybe he’s an expert? Why not explore that possibility? Dear Mr. Horsetorian! I have several dear friends that are old hags and quite magical, and they’re always coming up with ‘new’ concoctions that are going to ‘change my Life!’ They’ve tried all sorts of things on me: turned me into bizarre items, shrunk me, added 100 lbs. of fat on me, (that took lots of experimenting for them to get it off again) and a long list of other things. Needless to say, I am tired of being their guinea pig, tho I adore them. How do I approach them nicely without making them zap me away to Some Foreign Misted Land? Guinea Pig Dear Guinea Pig, You seem to be a much prized guinea pig and as magic doesn’t come cheap, why not be glad to get so much magical attention? And- have you ever been to Some Foreign Misted Land? It ain’t half bad! HH Dear Horsetorian. I am at my wits end with my filthy child who never brushes his teeth, barely changes his underwear and will only bathe himself with bribes. How can he have friends? How can he avoid isolating himself when he smells like a trash pit? Is it just a phase or should I seek more serious means? The whole family is guilty of rolling around in the mud only in extreme temperatures and never before bed, have we spoiled him? Please Horsetorian, what should we do? Muddy Madness
from the Horsetorian
of Drobny. They are so horrendously smelly that he’ll be begging to bathe. A good week there should cure him. HH Mr. Horsetorian, There is a little pond at the corner of my garden where I usually take a small bath in the morning. Recently, I’ve really started to smell and the pond has a very rotten stench coming from it. The waters are muddier than I’ve ever seen them. Even my troglodyte friends have noticed my breath has turned foul- I think its all connected with that pond. Sour N’ not Sweet Dear Sour N’ not Sweet, You must move immediately and do not turn back. I am sorry. Your pond has been infected by a water witch, the most ferocious there are. Good Luck! HH Dear Horsetorian, While returning home from work one late afternoon, I saw a sad sight. A vagabond looking person with backwards feet. It was terrible to see how he struggled to walk and of course, I offered him a ride. That’s when I found out he was a student at the local University studying to my surprise, Law. He was renting a dreary room above some cliffs in a cave. He invited me in for tea and I was touched by the small pictures he had around of his family that he said had all been killed in a train wreck 2 years ago. I insisted he come back to my house for dinner where he met my wife and children and I haven’t let him leave since. He is such a kindred spirit who has had a hard life. He assures me that he likes his cave room but I think he is just being polite. My question is: am I being presumptuous in assuming he wants to live with us for free while studying or do you think its healthier for him to have a room of his own? -Naive? Dear Naive? First of all, I’ve had some bad experiences with people with backwards feet. They are known for being sneaky and deceitful. I wouldn’t let anyone stay with your family before you check out if his story is legit. Check with the University and maybe enquire more about his family history. There might be a reason his feet are backwards. HH Dear Horsetorian, I am a palm reader. Recently, a famous race horse came in to get his hoof examined and I saw instantly that he would win the next race without a doubt. My problem: I have been sorely tempted in betting on him but I’m afraid, (and I know) that this isn’t spiritually correct. I could lose my license, my powers yet I justify it in other ways. I really, really need the money. I’m at a period in my life where I really need it. -Not a Cheater
Well, get a job, sweetheart. HH Hi Mr. Horsetorian, This is really awkward but here goes. I don’t know how this happened and it’s never happened to anyone I’ve known but I’ve broken out in a crazy case of living warts that have made my life a living hell. I could hide them when they were smaller but now they’ve developed little rubbery necks and they snap and nip at each other all the time, sometimes taking bits of my skin or clothes with their razor sharp teeth. I’ve been too embarrassed to tell my family or even my doctor. It is so humiliating at school when they are biting me but I’m forced to play it off. Can you help at all? Regretfully Warty.
exhausting and well, humiliating. How do I tell them, I do better on my own? Free Flyer. Dear Free Flyer, Well, how old are you anyway? I don’t want to be rude but we all know how, ‘old flyers flyin’ fine,’ are out in the traffic, causing accidents. HH Dear Horsetorian, I have a very good friend whose species has traditionally been very feared. But my friend is gentle and thoughtful and has always been there for me. I am getting tired of people telling me what horrible things those creatures are capable of, without ever even knowing one! How in the world can I tell them to mind their own business? Not living in Fear Dear Not living in Fear, Just tell them you keep your friend really well fed and out of sunlight. HH
Dear Regretfully Warty, Those warts can develop into wonderful friends. I have a few myself and wouldn’t trade them for the world. But if you want to get rid of them the process is simple enough. You’ll need a Freckle Wash, Pepper’s makes a nice one. Dab a cotton ball and spread it over their faces. This will mesmerize them. While mesmerized you’ll have to smear a Skinfood in their mouths. Finch’s has a Dragon and Frog Skinfood that usually works wonders in this department. They should slither out in no time. But do try to consider there are agencies that will take your warts and many creatures are lonely and would love a wart. Hermits are filled with them and many say this is what makes them so wise. HH Dear Horsetorian, I’m an older ‘winged creature’ and though I don’t fly so much anymore when I do, I do it with no problems. Well, except for one problem.: My family. Bless ‘em! They’re always scrambling to help me but in the process they make things more difficult. Get me off balance, drag me down, all-in-all make the act
Dear Horsetorian, My parents sat me down the other day and told me that although they are and always will be my parents that they’re not really. That I’m a Changeling. My life turned up side down! They told me that their own baby had gotten swapped for me and that for my whole life they have been secretly looking for him! I feel completely rejected and confusedby both families! Who is this other child that everyone wants so much? I suer don’t want to meet, ‘Him!’ You may wonder why this is a surprise and you may want to ask me if my appearance in anyway resembled my host family, well the answer is by far a, No! I’m huge, hairy and obnoxious, ok? And I’ve never fitted in anywhere. They called me the milkman’s son but I thought they still loved me! I guess they didn’t. Should I just jump off some mountain top? Should I seek out my biological parents even though they rejected me? Should I invite, ‘Him’ into my life? Oh, yeah,— they finally got their wish, they found, ‘Him’. I’m Done! Dear I’m Done! Whoa Nelly! Take it easy. You’re not the first Changeling nor the first hairy obnoxious creature ever! Your path has been trodden many a times by hairy, obnoxious feet so maybe you should follow the prints and read the writing on the wall. Take the reigns and realize you have a journey in front of you. Start with talking to other Changelings. There is a great group of Champion Changeling Bowlers in Peoria that meet up a couple times a week to bowl and talk. They seem to have found another family with each other. Remember, sometimes a family is created. HH
Dear Muddy Madness, Send him to a Summer Camp in the Swamps theFiligree.com
HELP!
Summer ‘09 –15
b i t u a r i e s O Cathy Coop I fell down a dark hole and lived there until I grew old and not a one knew I was still alive I’ll tell you, I had a fine life Until I died
I, Aunty Phoebe Dunn They told me not to clean my brothers gun— All the great treasures they now inherit will help in their grief, Help a bit, to bear it
If it gives you any peace, those that I hold dear That woman that poisoned me has something to fear The hangman’s noose grows hungry for another neck Although yall know it won’t bring me back… Robby Marshall
Though it is a tortuous & terrible death to be robbed of your Most valuable breath but let them take solace in knowing I’m watching over the fields of blooming clover In Atticus’s Bend KB
Who would’ve thought it would all end so quickly? A stupid stumble and blood that ran sticky didn’t really hurt that I must say You shouldn’t be scared of death! —it’s better to watch your way! Alice Maudin
I, Gerald Gross was a tired old man You may ask why it is, I’m sad— ‘cos I died knowing the location of our savings and for all eternity will I her ravings
I was little Sam Demaree A boy that could eat & eat— Ands sweet things, too I liked to drink Salty, spicy or sour it did not matter,… anything piled on a platter so remember me happy and laughing and flabby
Shirley Stied One thing they can’t quite get in life, Is that it is not such a dreadful thing to die--I guess it’s the fear of losing all that’s dear And that’s right, those things are no longer near!
Coming down with a cold shouldn’t be difficult for one not so old, But that nasty virus put up a fight until they finally had to wish me A forever Goodnight Aubrey Payne
16 – Summer ‘09
Eutrulia Mae I snuck out to attend a party when the night was all black Last thing I remember was an icy wind at my back pushed me over my roof but I started to fly I’ve been flying ever since though they’ve told me I’ve died
I, Lavada Highlight I went running mad into the Summer night yelling at the trees and kicking at the rocks— Until I had to be locked away into a tiny box Crazy is as crazy does— and crazy can strike anyone of us
OBITUARIES
Sam Hart Swallowed a toothpick. There. That said. Now leave me to peace. I’m already dead!
Pat Lindley I was a wise Hag of the wood— Gave the wrong potion to one Who wasn’t good And me, me’self ended up in a red bottle on me own shelf!
Twas a dark & foggy Night, When I, Tovar Wills said Farewell for the last time and jumped into a watery Hell, I hope the water lilies Will keep me well—
You want to run from what’s inside So you take your life, you commit suicide And then in death you’re running still From the exact thing you’d thought you’d killed
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Roy Watson Wednesday, I climbed out of bed for a midnight snack There, I slipped upon the cold floor and my Skull went crack But out of this bed shall I not sneak No, I will rest soundly and in great peace
He swooped from above and stole all my blood my heart beat loud in my ears I’ll roam this realm Until I find him, don’t care how many years Mandana Zenas
I’m an old lady so no use a’crying— Use your energy & thought for one who ‘aint dying Treat eachother kind and to mean words don’t you bother or mind Lynn Rothrock
My bitter drink kept me company now that my corpse sits pretty and stinks I find it hard to sleep Orville Von
They’ve helped me take a picture these misty forms just like in the stories– They’ve been really nice & not at all Sad & Gorey Roselma Gill
Eli Romey Don’t know how to comfort Such a dear wife— Or to tell her who it was that Stole my life For robbed it they did & Not much I can do But to warn her not to follow me, too
Lucetty Joyce Cannibalism is a strange treat And if you are what you eat Do you become yourself inside out? I found out what that’s about! And it’s hardly as bad as it seems!
Lance habbon
Tina Heidia I tripped and fell on the way to school, I blushed and felt just like a fool and no one came down the road that day until finally I just drifted away
In a sick house, is where I took my last breath Where all around me was already the stench of death It comes as no surprise for Death comes honest & without disquise
Mattie Moore Why didn’t they teach me to swim? I sunk in the bath and my life lights went dim…
My lost, dear name, Cleo Jones Now, makes me feel all the more alone Just want to say goodbye to all those I held dear Looking forward to the day when I see yall here
2To all the deceased that wish to contribute a quick note to the Living: all poems must be in rhyme format and may not exceed 12 lines. Keep it short & you’ll have more chance of being chosen.
Clara Shaw I was a sack of bones So thin and frail was I, and they said I lived until 127 But I say it’s more like 135,… So what do I do without the Woes of my old age? Well, I’ll have to see what’s on the next page!
Franny Wooster I could chop wood That’s one thing I could but it didn’t help much in the end, My Tomb is far too cold and there’s too much wind,…
Rita Roda In my sleep I tossed & turned my skin hot and seemed to burn my bodies fever had turned to hot now my body has cooled and will start to rot
I, Father, Wally Slaton, I was a good man in my heart but playing cards made my life turn dark
Goble Travis I was a man that liked to ramble and rambling took me to my death rambled me down to Collington’s Boneyard Where I can always rest
Hello dear mother & yes, sweet father do not fret for your little Lizzie Bette is doing just fine I do not know how to make that ryhme
Thank you, Filigree Editor
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obituaries
Summer ‘09 – 17
“What’s me got, here in me pot? Things that wriggle! Things that sleep! Things that’ll cost ya a penny just to take a peekWith here me’s a’precious spoon stirs it up til it reflects the Moon! Dropped somethin’ fried and greasy down there yesterday un when I done pulled it out... it was alive un gray It looked me in me eye un said, ‘sister you’ve done bad!’ So I honked it’s long nose un made it real mad! He He! Down below, there you go! Come un take a peek, ‘tis a penny for thee! So gather round ya dearies! Gather round me brew! Let’s see what the dark sludge under has in store for you...”
Step on up! Yes, you, right there! What? Yer acting like ya just don’t care?
AQUARIUS Me brew says yer hidin’ something down deep,... plenty a secrets a boilin’ yer tryin’ ta keep Ya must change yer eyeballs, then sonny, if ya want ta disguise! I ain’t seen nothin’ so tellin’ then that look in yer eye
Tha ugly truth often times can be a good friend but ain’t it hard to see it coming far away, round tha bend? Ya gotta keep yer eyes peeled and know one ta look sharp un what’s tha worst that could happen? Eh, A tiny crack in yer heart?
SAGITTARIUS Uhmmmm, ya smell it deary? A new day on the rise! I can see it in yer heart & way deep in yer eyes If ya make a change of it, do not look round for things that’re out to harm us, tend ta make not a sound!
Aaha! I see a little lassy looks curious does she? Step up & see what me pots got in store for thee
but the copper, ye see, of a penny sure will, help me precious pot, get plenty her fill!
GEMINI Un ya see down there, someone’s begging ya ta come home! Seems ya been wonderin’ out here in tha world all aloneWhat’s wrong with settlin’ in one place? Do ya get tired of always lookin’ at just yer own face?
You sir! Yes, come along now, quick. ya be the first to take his pick... ARIES ‘Tis never a good time ta sit still un ta wait with yer chin in yer hand ya won’t decide yer fate! So get up un at ‘em before it turns too late ya won’t want things ya could love turn inta things ya hate Boilin’ un boilin’ I just love how it smacks, reminds me how nothin’ boils better thun fat!
LIBRA Yer a frolickin’ fancy one, why- It says so right down there! Anything for fun, eh? Yet, ya never beware! But beware will wear ya, before you wear it‘tis better to stop now, yes, tis better to Quit!
he he! A penny richer am I! And look at ‘em the fear does grow in his eyes
SCORPIO A full Moon shines on me broth far below,.. Yes, the copper, throw it in! Un see where it goes bubblin’ & then sinkin’ and then gone far away-as with the full Moon, yer problems will be gone in a day!
TAURUS
CAPRICORN A stressin’! The waters are full of weird signsthe smoke risin’ & crackin’ in small, tiny lines! Un when it does this it can mean only one thingweird time comin’ for ya, is what the future will bring,...
Un ya see, me sassies, ‘tis difficult to control the potit boils when it will and simmers down with a pop,... PISCES See, that brew sometimes boils up in a rage, un within seconds its already done turned tha next pageBoilin’ up is intense, I know it to be so but watch out for those round ya, that ya don’t bring great Woe!
CANCER Me sludge needs someone ta give it a budge... ya see, tis smart ta follow yer heart ya gave it a double poke un she’s started ta smoke!
Ewww, the waters burst and looky here ‘tis a strange color, Metallic and Queer LEO the fumes grow A hot Summer be Brewin’ & Brewin’! Round she goesand the sludge is meltin’ on the rise for you! tha waters boil and the fumes Look! She’s boilin and me pot be If ya don’t believe me, go ahead grow,... swelterin’... look down in me goo! VIRGO See, it spells it out for ya plain un clearAh, it says doncha try to go now ‘tis time for ya un act too clever to warn all those ya hold dear! or someone round ya is bound to pull tha leverWhat’s me got, eh? Down here in me pot? Folks don’t like hearing a smarty pantsIt swishes to the sides un if ya got smarts at all un bubbles un pops! “Me hands be knotted yu’ll keep secret yer plans! and tired, the veins There, there, yes, a penny will do! ropin’ bout them like Now, me brew is gonna tell me bits of twisted wire a secret ‘bout you! and I heave a sigh and a houn take me a little rest let the earth be calm and be at her beautiful best....”
18 – Summer ‘09
THEE STARS
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CLASSIFIEDS
Need to Sell! My family is relocating b/
Charming Apt. for rent thru July-Sept on c of job and need to sell! I love our attic Isle of Keokuk. Close to amenities. (all contacts made c/o Filigree Editor) and we’ve lived here for 7 happy years!! Great vintage round windows, overlook- Furnished Vacation Rental near ChabReal Estate ing square. Quiet family below. Contact ra Falls & Pindly Roommate wanted to share ASAP for a look! Will go fast! Underground Lair in Adony. Gor5 star resort/ Cape Marion SumA gorgeous Collection of Webs, painsgeous moist cave walls, impeccably furmer vacancies. Children stay free! Wannished with zero light, full security and takingly restored to their former glory. Splen- da luxurious molded cave floors. Util. incl. did views of Pataky River and ravine! contact: Sharon Moultrian get away! Escape from SumCompletely flipped cottage walking distance mer heat to the cool caves of the MoultPenthouse overlooking Bobola to Primghar University. Covered side ries! Cute Artists Loft in Marjeta. porch. Move in ready! cliffs. Stunning. All fathomable moderRenting in Summer/weekly only. Beautiful Fenced backyard. Mature nities. -Eugene trees. Will consider all offers. Basement Swap for Summer! My OOAK Loft. 3 stories of historic Steamer Trunk. Needs work but has basement is the envy of my friends. Nevcharm, Peapack. Firepit. Bucket bath. er been painted and is popular hot spot great potential. William. Braided beds. for insects and small rodents. Looking to Need roommate! No carnivores need trade for Summer coastal change. Fully furnished Apt. Very nice. Very apply. Peaceful single woman that enjoys Andover, contact:Phillipa clean. Very close to shopping- Greasy. her peace. Contact: Freddy Need to rent out my Apt. for SumNocturnal roommate sought to mer! I’ll be back in the Fall in time for Private Ranch with secluded wood, school. It is very small and has a shared share my hollow tree penthouse. river and trails for outdoor lovers. 1st bathroom with other students. It is very mos. & security deposit. Janey Private wooded retreat for nature lov- neat and I‘m looking for a neat person. Attica. contact: Georgina Marjeta Apt. / Lagoon Living. Great ers. Cozy get away cabin in Drobny. balcony over looking lagoons. Wonderful Jobs Vacation Rentals for creature watching and entertaining. Gorgeous coastal condo for weekly/ Locksmith Wanted with extensive Historic cash register, perfectly re- weekend rentals on Sinfai’s breathtaking experience in all key making. Bayonne, coast. Contact Chariton’s travel Agency Billy stored with all modern conveniences. for more info Rent to Own! Taylor Skilled carpenters wanted. LimitFurnished burrow Cool River Living, Sunrise Canyon, canopied 3 tier’d ed experience necessary. Will be trained West Sangamon Forest . Lease for 1 rooms for rent over looking sprawling can- on the job in the Penfoldian Style. Lynne Kee yon. Hammocks. Comfy dinettes. year. Adorable 3 bedroom Nook, with open floor plan. Perfect for Squirrels and other small creatures.
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Houses. Wherry Gift Shop Attendant needed. Bayonne Museum of Modern Art Ryley’s Cafe for Sale/Lorimor Cross/ Attica. Lovely Cafe must sell due to illness. Popular hot spot for Uni Students in Attica. Boost your income and get your friends in on it, too! Work from home, just having fun! No bosses. Come to one of our initiation meetings today. MonThurs. 6 p.m. Weona, Morrison’s Junior High Gym Mortal Nurses needed! Wonderful benefits. Harlow woods foundling Hospital. King Cream’s looking for assistant manager. Must be familiar with all KC’s flavors, high standards and must be a sociable- Nocturnals need not apply. Apply in person. Delivery Flyers needed. Medical supplies and messages. Great pay and room to Grow! contact: Chad Freelance Fireflies for Night Events Wanted. Experience Necessary. This will not be a full time job but, ‘as needed’. Contact: Marjory
Assistant Wart Enhancer Needed. Possalorna Beauty Clinic in Chariton.Experience mandatory as well Summer getaway! *Floating Home* Decorative House Painters Want- as an editing eye. Stellah Halley Riverboats with 3-7 sleeping snuggeries. ed with a meticulous eye for detail. Will be generously compensated. Ivy Bonham
CLASS.
Summer ‘09 – 19
Miscellany
any and all times! Revolutionary! Sell door to door! Work from home! MeetHair tinting, curling, waving, straighten- ings in Sibley, every Tues. Jancy Gym ing, coloring & perms. Nails and claws. Shaves & fang Sharpening/ Whitening Garden Study Group Swap plantSalon Alburtus, Weona ing ideas, recipes and hints with other experienced and less experienced gardenWatonga Shaves, 2 for 1 Tuesdays ers. Share seeds, plants, tips, and tools! Wednesdays, 3 p.m. Tippah Wood, Dressmaker tailors to larger/ Stout figFlorence’s Cafe. ures. Contact: Avrial Dressmaking alterations, wedding at- Gardeners! Trees planted and pruned, grass planting. Magical Manure at no extire. House calls for custom fitting. tra charge. Mjorey’s/ Wildervine Sammy Engraver & Gen., Artwork, Ando- Roselma’s Nursery in Gwinnet. ver. Can engrave anything. Joshy Summer Special on all perennials! Beautiful selection of ‘specialty’ plants. Perfume Chemist. High class scents, fully tested formulas for special whole- Grace’s Launderette in Bayonne. sale prices. Housed in beautiful, colorful Next day Service. Friday free day on bottles. Jackets. Gadget Reparations. Any and all Order your miracle packet of Vennebal type of gadgetry repair. Henry/TremenHerbal Remedies and receive a secton ond packet completely free
DAisy’s days
BORCK MAGNET SPRAY! Can find any object that’s been sprayed. At
POO oN YoU!
destiny
& the dragon
20 – Summer ‘09
BRING THESE To MRS. CRABB BE RIGHT BACK
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