A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T
The team behind The Hilarian would like to acknowledge that the land the Adelaide University Law School is on is the traditional land of Kaurna people, and that we respect their spiritual relationship with their Country and we respect and value their past, present and ongoing connection to the land and cultural beliefs.
O F C O U N T R Y
EDITORS
CHRIS
ISABELLA
JOSH
SUBCOMMITTEE
BELLAROSE
EKATERINI
HARRY
HOLLY
ISABELLA
JENNIFER
KUSH
NETRA
SAMARA
ZOE
The Great Unification is imminent and whilst the rest of the world celebrates the monopolisation of education in our state, we at the Hilarian can’t help but feel a sense of impending doom as we are left to consider what will become of us and our esteemed publication when past foes become family.
Will we continue to provide the halls of Ligertwood with joy? Or will we be drowned in abyss of North Terrace Purple™ and forgotten by the world (much like the Adelaide University law degree)? In preparation of the descent of our corporate overlords, we have decided to pre-emptively rebrand to align ourselves with what is to come in order to give our little publication – the voice of Ligertwood – a fighting chance.
You will notice that the Hilarian you once knew is no more. Gone are the explosions of colour bursting forth on every page. We have abandoned the old ways and embraced a much more classic and corporate blue, reflective of our great institution. The accent colour, Ligertwood Blue(s) represents melancholy, the pinnacle emotion of our legal educations. It reminds us of the various tears shed in the pursuit of a framed A4 piece of paper, the many blue ink ballpoint pens who have laid down their lives at the Goyder Pavilion.
The swathe of blue is complemented by Sad Baby Beige, a nod to the once asbestos-ridden walls of our very own building, reminding us of our roots.
Our monogram ‘HN’ is forward facing, representing our hopes for a vibrant future for the Hilarian. Balancing optimism with reality, the curvature and the shape echoes the hopeful trajectory of our lives while the empty space signals the gaps left in our legal knowledge even after finishing a 4-year degree.
We hope that this change greatly pleases the suits in the sky and ensures the continuing legacy of the Hilarian. May we survive the Great M-word and live to write another day.
Your favourite overlords, Chris, Isab, and Josh
The recent sunshine, blue skies and warm air reminds me th we have almost made it through another year. As summ approaches, some students are planning to sit their fi exams, both excited and nervous about leaving law school embark on real world adventures Others are preparing complete a summer clerkship, volunteer their time practice their legal skills or earn a few dollars at a summ job Many of us are simply looking forward to a well-earn break to spend time with family and catch up with neglect friends For me, the start of summer marks the end of term as your 2024 AULSS Vice-President It’s a time for me reflect on the year that was and to ceremoniously recycle worn out copy of the AULSS Constitution
In 2024 the AULSS once again played an integral role in providing law students with key support and opportunit degree. I firmly believe having this dedicated team of advo because let’s be honest, becoming a lawyer is hard work. y y exceptional results to be accepted into the degree, but you then face the challenge of learning how to pronounce Ligertwood, navigate high volumes of course content, use IRAC, meet assessment deadlines, pass exams and worst of all, survive group work. To top it off, throughout this process you’re constantly wondering how to go about landing a clerkship and ultimately, your dream job.
This year the Committee has shown outstanding commitment and worked tirelessly to help students navigate these challenges and have fun whilst doing it Our Education portfolio welcomed first year students and assisted their transition into university life through an award winning mentorship program and various skills development sessions Our Careers portfolio hosted a series of industry evenings to expand our professional networks, helping us to learn more about the legal profession and assist with our transition to the workforce
Our Competitions portfolio facilitated competitions to develop our practical legal skills, the Social Justice and Equity portfolio hosted charitable fundraisers and awareness-raising events, whilst our Communications portfolio kept us up to date and entertained us through our social media channels. Last, but far from least, our Activities portfolio were our experts at creating fun and memorable social events to help us take a break, relax with friends and meet new people I’m immensely proud of what the 2024 Committee achieved, and I thank each Committee member for their time, energy and passion for making our law school community a better place
2025 will be our final year as students at The University of Adelaide. I am honoured to return to Ligertwood as your President and work with our incoming Executive and Committee to continue the AULSS’s rich legacy and prepare our Society to operate under the new Adelaide University. I am also excited to work with the University of South Australia Law Students Association to ensure our new friends feel welcome at Adelaide Law School from 2026, and to continue working hard together to become great lawyers so we can make a difference in the world
We are on the lookout for funny, witty, creative individuals to join the Hilarian subcommittee for 2025. If you are a social commentary connoisseur, love to make people laugh, or have a killer talent for making crosswords/baking/writing film reviews (etc, etc!) then please get in touch!
DM us on Instagram @thehilarian, or scan the QR code to enter your deets. Our people will contact your people ;)
We are bidding adieu to our resident advice-giver in We are bidding adieu to our resident advice-giver in the final edition of Agony Kush. Thank you Kush, for all the final edition of Agony Kush. Thank you Kush, for all of your advice. Whether anyone is actually taking it or of your advice. Whether anyone is actually taking it or not... that is another thing. not... that is another thing.
Hi Kush, I’m a final year and have been handing out incorrect property and contracts notes to second years. Am I the arsehole?
With my time at uni coming to an end in the next few weeks, I want to impart some final advice on you all. I’ve given this advice in the past, so I just want to hammer it home. Law school is, first and foremost, about dominance. It must be asserted. Upon your friends, upon the faculty, and, perhaps most importantly, upon younger students. Their entire existence revolves around being scared of/being in awe of students in the more advanced years of their degrees. They are ants, to be crushed beneath your shiny right RM Williams boot They must learn a harsh truth about the law school; that they are mere playthings for our amusement With that said, what you have done has not made you an arsehole However, you have erred Giving second years purposely incorrect notes will, rather than asserting dominance, merely paint you as stupid Instead, you should give them your correct notes but redact the key parts, CIA style. For example, your property notes should look something like this:
Hi Kush! I like a guy from afar. Should I make a move on Instagram?
I’m not across how the modern young person engages in dating activities. Back in my day, you would approach them at Suits and Scrubs, get rejected, go home and cry. But you’d have drunk so much that it doesn’t hurt as much as the hangover the next day.
Hi Kush! How do I leave the Dungeon with bae without arising suspicion???
HiKush, I’vebeen hinvitedtoWingsbut avefourevidence lecturesandathesis towrite. WhatshouldIdo?
Bro what? It astounds me that the dungeon’s musty air can be conducive to wanting to ‘leave with bae’ That’s really gross The dungeon is for the following five things only:
1) Socialising and gossiping about people in your seminar who you do not like;
2) Socialising and gossiping about people in lectures who you think are weird;
3) Socialising and gossiping about people who think they are friends with you but you secretly think they are annoying;
4) Socialising and gossiping about what is going on in your lecturers’ lives to make them hate you enough to ask you to write an entire problem question answer within 1200 words; or
5) Socialising and gossiping about the people who socialise and gossip too loud whilst you’re trying to study
If you engage in any activity in the dungeon that is not one of the above, you’re not doing law school correctly. If you engage in untoward activities with ‘bae’ in the dungeon, that’s actually disgusting. I’m disgusted. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Hi Kush. Long time reader, third time asker. Why did you choose a career in law when there was so obviously a career in modelling just waiting for you? With your hair??
Oh, look I’m a firm believer in fair competition, and I just don’t want to take jobs away from other more deserving people in the modelling industry I understand why you’d want to see my face on the inside back cover of every magazine, though I’ve submitted a special request to the editors of the Hilarian magazine to put an image of me on the back of this very issue just for your enjoyment (it’ll be a double spread so you can pin it on your wall xx).
Editors Note - In your dreams Kush. Should’ve done that when you were at the reins of the magazine buddy.
BY Ekaterini Kountourogiannis
As law school comes to a close for the year, we approach the final stage of grief: acceptance.
How many weeks behind on the lecture recordings are you? Do you black out every time you need to do your weekly quiz? Is the Unibar your only solace?
Your grades are in God’s hands now. What matters is that summer is around the corner, and you will never need to think about what judges can judge and can only judge ever again Go get a beer jug at Unibar, chuck on this playlist and enjoy the sun Maybe the true law school is simply the friends we made along the way.
1 2
what’s going on - marvin gaye
nothing else i could do - ella jane
at least i’m pretty - harriette
3 4 5 6
just sayin/i tried - the internet
just along for the ride - djo death with dignity - sufjan stevens
By Issy Penna
Hello fellow students! It’s me again, back with some scrupulous lamentations on the Law School experience. As the year draws to a shockingly quick close, I could think of no better way to reminisce on the memories made amongst the Liggy community then to think back on the many events the AULSS Activities Portfolio has so generously organised for us. Although each event has its own unique flare, we cannot ignore the fact that some are just objective fan favourites and I’m here to tell you exactly what they are! What are my credentials to make such assertions you say?
A) I’m a final year.
B) I have attended each event at least once over the last 5 years.
C) JUST AGREE WITH ME, OKAY?!
I know this is a controversial take but HEAR ME OUT PLEASE! Quiz Night facilitates the two things law students love to indulge in most – competition and bragging rights (don’t act like you don’t) It does so in such a wholesome way too You get to gather a group of your closest friends, dress up in wacky costumes and show off your impeccable general knowledge skills I guess I operate with a bit of bias though My friends and I did win the last one I love you Quiz Night and thanks for the ego trip x
Surprise, surprise Law Ball is in the top 2 (did you really expect anything else?). When it comes to popularity every other event pales in comparison. Literally random people show up every year – we even managed to snag Havana Brown to be our DJ in 2023! I know, you’re all probably thinking, “Issy why isn’t Law Ball at number 1???!!” Allow me to justify. The best part of this event isn’t the photo booths, dancing with friends, the hookup you had with the cutie in your Commercial Transactions seminar, not even the open bar. It’s the next week back at Uni where the Liggy library is rife with hushed conversation and shocked faces. Don’t lie… you love the drama too! Sometimes even more than the event itself.
Three faculties, all alike in nepotism, in fair Atlantis where we lay our scene in theory this is the most highly anticipated crossover event in the Law School However, in reality, the scrubs speak only to the scrubs, the suits do the same and the spanners felt left out so they invited themselves Nevertheless, the soon to be lawyers know how to spend a night out. Every year without fail, there are some wild stories that emerge about the happenings of the evening, and we all EAT IT UP! To be fair, this event ranks at number 3 purely because those fish have my heart… can you blame me?
You’re probably thinking what is the difference between Law Dinner and Law Ball? To be completely transparent with you – not a great deal. People still dress up to the nines, there’s a dance floor, a DJ (not Havana Brown though), mimosas abound etc., etc.. Although, there is one thing Law Dinner has that Law Ball does not. That’s a 3 COURSE SIT DOWN DINNER! The thought alone is scrumptious if you’re partial to refinery. So then why does it rank at number 4 you say? Purely putting this down to vibes man. No other explanation. Anyway, I’ve heard rumours that it’s been given a big rebranding this year. Something about a Law Gala? Sounds fancy if you ask me!
Let’s be real, there are only two ways this night can go – you either get so hammered you don’t remember a single thing about it the next day, or you spend the night lost in the city calling your friends because somehow you all ended up in different places. Either option is so chaotic but makes for good memories nonetheless. However, I’m yet to hear any law student declare this is their favourite event. I’m sorry to the AULSS. Please don’t come for me. Just reporting on the facts.
All this being said, my advice to you all is to go forth an enjoy every single one of these events Now that my time as a student is coming to an end, I can safely say that each one provided me cherished memories to share when I’m old and uncool! Thanks for reading, peace out x
By Michail IVanov
Visionary director Sa Silva’s work on this year’ Revue, ‘Lease’, has proven a great financial success l inspiration, Grease (1978 unlike Greece (circa 2009
Silva’s use of Brechtian theatre shone in the La Cucaracha Trilogy, where audiences were alienated and asked to reflect on the societal roles of masculinity, paternity and vengeance and examine the human (and insect) condition The Spaghetti Western-inspired story centred on a cockroach father, portrayed by the erudite Georgia Chiswell, who is torn from his newborn child and fights for his family. Chiswell’s gripping performance had audiences shaking like maracas throughout. I say that Georgia DidWell. But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself…
youth who developing his oversex–asentimentIimagine holds true for all Revue cast members.
We also saw the notorious Kush “Go Woke Go Broke” Goyal, o have undertaken mpathy training Goyal was able to experiences from in the UK (in case now about it from six times he toyou)andseduce hbigbundas.
He,however,wasnotsoluckyin the Court of Situationships where Holly Boswell delivered an emotional performance as a girl who had been deceived by Goyal’s mischievous ways. In her decision, the popcorn chomping, judgment dropping Katelin laid down the Law(rie) and found in Boswell’s favour. The Revue has refused to comment as to whether this story is based on Goyal’s real-
Boswell also appeared as an irresistibly charming and verbose Romeo in an adaption of the timeless Shakespearean tragedy. Director Baz Luhrmann has stated that he now intends to make a film adaptation of the skit as a sequel to Romeo + Juliet (1996), titled RomeoJuliet Accompanying Boswell was Isabella Moore who was incredible and definitely did not ask for my praise in this review. Her electrifying on-stage presence had me waiting to see Moore of her throughout.
Channelling her inner R. Lee Ermey, Jennifer Lamb brought the AULSS to the slaughter in the‘LSSIndustrialComplex’–a politically charged criticism of theAULSSregimefollowingthe demise of Chairman Lau’s reign
Walking in the footsteps of giants (namely, Garfield The Movie (2004) and The Garfield Movie (2024)), Magenta Stoba’s Garfield once again lit up the stage. A story of addiction, desperation, gluttony and perversion, Stoba’s Garfield showed a troubled soul who would stop at nothing to eat up a plate of lasagne. Much like you, who wouldstopatnothingtoeatup mind-numbing administrative tasksinacorporatefirm
Superstar Isabella “Rizzabella” Penna had audiences hooting and hollering with her portrayal of Joe Biden as an inept, senile and decrepit old man In an exclusive interview, Penna revealed that she prepared for the role by studying the behaviour of some of your favourite lecturers. She also appeared as litigation legend Skip Lipman alongside the selfadmittedly ‘cheeky’ Belle Watts who played the heartbreaker and partner taker, Mischon de Reya The skit depicted the tragic fall of this generation’s Brangelina–LipmanKaras
Last, Josh Wilson brought the university’s insurance team to their knees in his Carpool Karaoke which featured the legendary Peta Spyrou, Marg Castles, David Plater, Mark Giancaspro, Kellie Toole, Frank deZwartandcertified365party boy,JoshCurtis.
The show went from Greased Lightning to Greased Frightening with ‘Five Nights at Liggy’s’ where Harry Passehl had audiences holding their breaths in his portrayal of acclaimed author of ‘Salary packaging and the calculation ofannualandlongserviceleave entitlements’ and late-night law school lurker, Professor Andrew Stewart.
An incredible spectacle – I rate this year’s Law Revue 5 out of 5 copies of Grease 2 (1981) on DVD.
BY Rosana Marshall
From traversing the stairs of Ligertwood to leaving your interim assignments ‘for the weekend’, here’s your 2024 Law School experience ‘wrapped’!
You took 8 law courses this year, but it got serious with one:
Most un-listened to lecture: Resulting Trusts
The average discussion board reply rate in 2024 was after 5 days.
We know you regretted submitting that Interim early.
Here's where most of your peers went, over the year.
You lost -700 points for d diving the ‘P tab on MyUni whether your situationship same seminar
You asked yourself whether you’re being underpaid and overworked at your part-timer 200 times this year!
(and lost -100 for swapp seminars as a 2 0 1 6 0 2 0 1 6 0 2 0 1 6 0 2 0 1 6 0 2 0 1 6 0 2 0 1 6 0 2 0 1 6 0 You spent 20160 hours applying for Clerkships in 2024, placing you in the top 99% of Law students! Look at you go!
by Chris Johnson
As I write this 2-page monologue, filled with my musings on living the Deutschland vita, I’m sat at my window ledge, cup of tea in hand, soaking in the final rays of sunshine the climate crisis has provided us in mid-September. While I reminisce on my last few months on exchange, I glance across my picturesque view of the German landscape complete with my very own garbage tip (see exhibit A below).
When I said I wanted to study in Germany I was thinking Hahndorf on steroids, not concrete jungle. To say that I was shshshshs
crushed upon arrival after a 24-hour travel through 3 different time zones would be a severe understatement. hh Fear not dear readers, I found comfort in a hot shower, a hearty sss plate of IKEA meatballs (see exhibit B above) and the fact that that in approximately 24 hours I would be in Paris.
Living alone abroad has proved to be a struggle for all, but none have suffered as much as your average 21-year-old boy, discovering for the first time in his life how to do his laundry To the guy I gave lessons to on how to start our washing machine, I hope you think of me fondly Not all my neighbours have been entirely inept, some have been absolute lifesavers (thank you Spaniards who helped me break into our building after some idiot deadlocked the door from the inside at 5am) They’ve also helped me discover that the first rule of table tennis is that there are no shirts allowed at table tennis and that it takes approximately 8 uni students to clean up a shattered bottle of oil on the stairs.
My uni has an enormous group of exchange students and given that I am one of two Australians in the city of Mannheim (the Hilarian offers no guarantees as to the accuracy of this information), I’ve had no choice but to immerse myself. Name a quintessential German student experience, I’ve had it.
Get absolutely plastered at Oktoberfest
Eat doner at 3am after a big night out
Gorge myself on pretzels on every
st taken out by an angry heck]
Almost all of new friends are Canadians (it’s important to note here that it is actively impossible to avoid Canadians in Mannheim as there is one on every corner) and all of the stereotypes you’re thinking off are absolutely true They sound like a more polite American, say sOW-rry and w-O-rter, watch hockey and like their next-door neighbours wouldn’t be able to point out Adelaide on a map (plus points for our friends knowing both Sydney and Melbourne)
In getting to know them I’ve also been informed of a lot of concerning things about being a Canadian law clerk. Did you know that as summer clerk in Canada you are on call 24/7. Forget the right to disconnect, they barely have the right to a weekend. While Canada has a worker’s rights legislation in place, clerks, articling students (associates) and residents are conveniently exempt. The concept of study leave or even sick leave accrual is entirely foreign to our Canadian counterparts. Courts never close – not even over Christmas – which means you better be ready to spend Christmas Eve at your desk. Safe to say I left this conversation extending a visa to my Canadians, because while we may get paid less, at least we get weekends.
I will also take this time to say that I think the Germans get an unnecessarily bad rep for being rude. In my expert opinion, after living here for 3 months, they just don’t have time for your shit. People are direct and as someone who doesn’t care if my morning coffee comes with a side of chit chat or not, I honestly couldn’t have cared less. My only pet peeve so far has been the fact that everything is closed on a Sunday, which is a Europe wide issue, so really I have Christianity to blame. After having conquered the mammoth that is Kaufland (picture Costco but all of the signs are in German) and the art of ordering my coffee I’ve really grown to love my little town. It also doesn’t hurt that basically anywhere in Europe is an easy train ride away However, I would be a big fat liar if I didn’t admit to missing Adelaide My soul yearns for a good coffee and a Unibar pizza (I have now been informed that they got rid of the pizza oven)
While my 5 months in Europe haven’t been the soul-searching, frontal lobe developing that everyone who goes on a Contiki trip seems to have, I will be coming back as an even more insufferable person Bear with me as I tell you the same 5 stories about my time abroad over and over and over again Forgive me if I start saying Ibi-tha and Bar-the-lona despite having not been in a 500km radius of both places. Try not to punch me when I critique the Unibar schnitty for not being the “real thing”. I promise to stop making it the centre of every conversation after a respectable 6 months. Until then please take time to enjoy your sanity until my return and try not to miss me too much.
By Josh Wilson
On a quiet Tuesday walk along Gouger street, I spotted a man sitting to eat,
Looking to luncheon, quite incognito, Chief Justice Kourakis, nibbling a burrito.
The Commissioner of SA’s Court Supreme, His Honour looked to be living the dream,
Munching his Cali at a GYG stall, I hope he enjoyed it, Now I’ve seen it all.
T H E P R O C R A S T I N A T O R T H E P R O C R A S T I N A T O R
By Netra Ramkumar
You have a busy month ahead of you You tell yourself that P’s get degrees but we know that you are secretly gunning for top grades You’ve been locked in from day one, and you’re inevitably going to ace your exams, just as you always do
You’re as cool as a cucumber Yeah, maybe you spend more time sipping at your oat milk matcha latte than you do studying, but does it matter? You’ll get to revision eventually
You need to take a break! Between your fifty billion tasks, exams may just be your final straw. Has Wayville started to haunt your nightmares just yet, or are you too busy to even think about something that far away?
Cancer, half of your struggle is getting into the right mindset to study Good lighting, quiet room, and maybe some lo-fi beats are all prerequisites for you to get work done Just pray that nobody in the exam room has a particularly stubborn cough or sniffle!
Stop focusing on that one subject you like; you know you’re worse at the boring ones! We would remind you to get some fresh air in the days leading up to exams, but it’s not like you’d listen.
You’ve got this in the bag. In fact, you’ve probably been ready for your exams for the past month. You know that everyone hates you for arriving at Wayville fully-rested and stress-free, don’t you?
Libra, it’s time to set your priorities straight. Without mindful preparation, this coming month will put you in an imbalance! We suggest catching up with a friend for each reading you get done, if you want to maintain your harmony.
You’re probably going to spend this exam season stressing about all the things you haven’t revised enough. You know you’ll be fine. Just remember not to dwell too much on that one question for too long and trust your gut.
You probably tell yourself you will start studying at 6pm on the dot, just so you’ll have an excuse to delay when you inevitably get distracted and realise that it’s already 06:02 Gotta start on a round number, right? You’ll get there in the end Probably
Exams don’t scare you like everyone else; you are ready to face this month head-on. You’ve stayed up to date with all of your readings and haven’t missed a seminar. Keep grinding, and you’ll rule exam season with ease!
Stay on track, Aquarius You remember what happened the last time you got distracted and went on a tangent during one of your exams, don’t you? You have too much on your mind! Take a nap and chill out.
Pisces, stay optimistic. Exams always put you into a spiral, and you’ve had more than enough of those to last one semester! Grab a sweet treat the next time you’re studying on campus: consider it an early reward for your focus!
By samara dixon
Have you finished dinner and now crave a sweet treat? Or do you want that extra chocolate hit before you cram for exams? Well this recipe provides the precise measurements for six chocolate chip cookies. In just half an hour you can make the perfect six cookies to snack on for the rest of the week. These are especially ideal to bake when you are procrastinating studying.
Firstly, don’t be a loser who forgets, and make sure to preheat your oven to 200 degrees
1. Siftallofyourdryingredientsintoabowl 2. Combinewithyourotheringredients
3. Mixuntilyourheartscontent – orinmy case,makesomeoneelsedoitbecauseyou’re toolazy
4. Finelychopyourchocolateintochunksor whateveryouprefer….FranklyIdon’tcare
5. Mixsomeofyourchocolateintoyour dough
6. OPTIONAL:ifyouthinkit’sgoingtodo anything(Ipersonallydon’thavethepatience) thenletyourdoughsitinthefridgeforhalfan hourtoanhour
7. Rolloutyoursixcookiesonbakingpaper andatray
8. Topyourcookieswiththerestofyour chocolatetomakethemlookpictureperfect
9. Finally,sprinklealittlemoresaltonthetop ofthecookies!
10. Bakefor8-10minutesoruntilcrispyonthe outside
11. ENJOYYOUR6COOKIESNACK!
conveniently in cup measurements want to convert it into ose flour soda y demure and mindful of melted butter f brown sugar extract
By jennifer lamb
Using a precise and revolutionary mathematical formula, there is a possibility that the following events will occur in 2025:
Kamala Harris is sworn in as POTUS
Your HECS hits an all-time high You miss out on all of the good electives
Reputation (Taylor’s Version) is released
Your uncle asks you for legal advice Tomdaya or Tayvis wedding
There is a federal election You download Hinge, regret it, and delete it
Mercury in retrograde
The Adelaide University logo gets a new look
ChatGPT learns to feel emotions
The Corps Act is amended
A formal complaints mechanism for the M*r*g*r is set up
BONUS SQUARE
Clive Palmer sues someone
David Speirs resigns Your favourite academic leaves the uni HECS indexing rules change
You get a clerkship
A new Spiderman movie is announced
The Dungeon gets ergonomic chairs
Renee Rapp x Chappell Roan colab
Another main road gets major road works
Peter Mali has another infamous moment
The Law Ball theme gets leaked
By Zoe Williams
As opposed to 50 pages of the textbook. You’re welcome.
I understand that everyone may be looking forward to the break so they can stop doing endless readings. I know I personally start to feel weird when I haven’t got anything assigned to me (which I can ignore), so, behold this list of my 5 personal favourite books. They are all perfect for enriching your mind and maybe, just maybe, allowing you to look a bit pretentious while you work on your tan, which is almost half the point of reading at all.
I read this book on a warm summer afternoon, cover to cover. I was absolutely enthralled by the themes of adolescence, love, and loss. The Lisbon sisters and their close connection to each other is something I feel is both relatable and admirable They create their own world inside that house, with everyone else hoping for an invitation inside their close circle Loss and uncertainty are also prevalent in the book, especially through the parents, as they desperately try to cling to their girls, who are only slipping away from them.
This is John Green’s best work in my opinion, truly a great summer read. This book makes you yearn for the true boarding school experience (or at least that’s how I felt), one of friends, mischief, and loyalty. Deeper themes of grief and mature relationships, love and sadness congealed in the setting of Culver Creek Preparatory School in Alabama. This coming-of-age story is perfect for lying in the sun and feeling like the main character you are
Yes, this book is about an age gap relationship, but it also explores the ways that not processing trauma can affect an individual. This book displays the ways in which life is not as simple as a romcom meet cute, though it does begin with Cleo and Franks. Though they both endure trials and tribulations, Cleo is not as glamorous as Cleopatra, and Frank does not ultimately become a monster. I was personally also very invested in the lives of the secondary characters which are just as fleshed out as the main couple
A brilliant Australian author and a brilliant story about mental health, being your true self, and finding family Sam and Vic meet each other facing the bottom of the same bridge and save each other’s lives. This heavy and heartbreaking story introduces the reader to what may lead someone to making that type of decision whilst demonstrating true humanity and kindness which can only be found by someone who truly sees you. Themes of selfexpression and the struggles of life and adolescence expertly detail when it is important to let go and when it is important to hang on.
Final assignment on the summer reading list, a salacious psychological thriller. Alicia Berenson has turned silent after murdering her husband and a new psychologist Theo Faber is determined to crack her. This book follows Alicia’s mindset prior to the murder as well as Theo’s personal life, which comes together to have an interesting, slightly shocking and kind of satisfying ending All of the true crime lovers or the gossip lovers will devour the gory details of this read
Oh don’t worry. The crossword isn’t going anywhere. Our resident crossword connoisseur Belle Watts is though. She’s graduating (sad face emoji). We are publishing our sincere thanks to Belle for the hours of fun you have provided this magazine. We’ve got some big, big shoes to fill in 2025.
By Alina Tairli
I walk the halls of justice, passing judgment on my third cup of coffee, trying to file motions against HECS indexation.
Objection your Honour, this feels like a scam.
The law is black letter, but I swear my life is written in Comic Sans.
People say “justice is blind,” but honestly, I think she’s just avoiding my emails.
The jury's out, but so is my bank balance, I’ve bought too many corp outfits, With absolutely no clerkship to wear them to.
BY JENNIFER LAMB AND NAVAH HEIDARI
This was a first date chai (I know, so scandalous), and I had to withstand the urge to pull out my phone and immediately write this review (because that would be frowned upon). This chai was quite sweet, but beautifully balanced. It also had a little crochet sleeve on (which I wanted to take home), it was adorable. I think about this chai on the daily.
Chai Latte - 9/10
O’Connell St Bakery,
It’s in the name babes x
Picture this: It's 9:36 a.m. on a Tuesday, and I was too scared and too early to go to into the LK office, so I naturally went to get a chai. And I felt better, ready to tackle the day. It was not too coffee and not too sweet, excellent.
Dirty Chai 9/10
I awkwardly spotted two unnamed members of the AULSS engaged in seemingly nefarious activities… made the chai (that was not very good) a whole lot tastier if you know what I mean…
Iced Chai - 4/10
A nice steaming hot drink for a cold day. It may not have blown my AULSS socks off, but finally a solid chai latte that didn’t have a glaring problem with it
Chai Latte - 8/10
Lockwood General, Burnside
I would recommend if you're into a more traditional chai The barista strained the whole spices out, which would make my dear Nana so proud The only caveat is this cafe was giving Burnside Mum, and some people aren’t into that
Sticky Chai - 8.5/10
This is a celebration chai, because Navah managed to drive up the freeway for the first time in her life, which was an achievement apparently… (Navah here - It was an achievement thank you very much, we’re not all hillbillies).
The coffee was fine, a bit bitter, the chai made it better The real star of the show was the absolutely banging bacon cheese and rocket roll we had for breakfast “I dream about it” says Navah
If I were a vanilla chai girl, this would be a 10/10, but alas, I am not. I am a spice chai girl. So this was a bit sad. I originally gave it a 5, but, after considering the foam-to-chai ratio, which was immaculate, they can have two more points (Navah still rates it a 9/10)
DISCLAIMER: Only try this chai if you're willing to brave the daytime Hindley St ambience
Chai Latte - 7/10
“THAT CHAI WAS THE BEST ICED CHAI OF MY LIFE” was the text message Jennie received froth will help woes.
I was a bit worried about this honestly because this kind of chai is really easy to mess up, but Izzy Conner recommended it, so I was holding out hope. And she was right, it was FANTASTIC. The near perfect traditional chai, spicy but subtle and creamy. Minus one point because they left the whole spices in and they were…crunchy.
T H E L A W Y E R T H E L A W Y E R
BY ISABELLA MOORE
We have all seen the Tiktok reviews and Insta content surrounding Aussie makeup brand MCobeauty and their ‘dupes’ (read: duplicates, copies, knock-offs) of popular and pricey makeup and skincare products for a fraction of the price. If you have not, hopefully this little article clears things up for you…
MCobeauty (formerly ‘Model Co’; if you know, you know) sprung onto the Australian beauty market in 2016 and have since been absolutely flooding the proverbial airwaves with their dupes. What started off as original products, such as their über popular ‘Xtend Lash’ mascara, has now developed into a fully-fledged copycat exercise. Name a trending product, MCo have ripped it off. They have taken the delicious Sol de Janeiro fragrance mists and remade them, saving buyers $25 off the original price. Their packaging replicates that of many popular brands, namely Charlotte Tilbury’s ‘Flawless Filter’ (which retails at a blinding $70 compared to MCo’s $35) and the iconic Dior blushes with their branding imprints on the powder, which MCo has knocked off for $38 cheaper.
The brand is no stranger to a lawsuit or two; it is clear that the original brands have cottoned on to MCo and its MO. American brand Tarte sued MCobeauty in 2021 for knocking-off its iconic ‘Shape Tape’ concealer, namely the chevron pattern on the lid of the product. Tarte claimed the MCo dupe was a borderline counterfeit product, deeming it misleading and deceptive conduct under section 18 of the Australian Consumer Law (remember, Commercial Transactions??). MCo’s defence was that the products were dissimilar enough, along with the fact that their products were sold in Woolies and Chemist Warehouse as opposed to Sephora, to not confuse shoppers.
Credit: Pedestrian
MCobeauty’s tagline is ‘leading luxe for less’, but how far is too far when it comes to ripping off the brand identities and products of other brands on the market, and what does the law have to say about this blatant copying?
The case eventually settled, but MCo has since changed the lid of its concealer to remove the controversial pattern. A Tarte spokesperson made a comment to the ABC about the lawsuit and assured that the brand would continue fighting against dupes, particularly as brands like MCo do not have the same brand ethos and formula guarantees (e.g. no parabens and other nasties) as Tarte does.
$55 $17
credit: abc news
MCo’s legal team must run a tight ship, no doubt. The brand’s founder Shelley Sullivan spoke to the ABC about MCo’s product development process, and their trademarks and patents lawyer, Len Mancini, explained how he ensures the brand do not infringe copyrights and patents from a legal point of view. Mancini told the ABC that he would scour databases for any trademarks, patents, or designs that have been protected by the original brand MCo are seeking to dupe. Essentially, he is doing this research to take back to MCo to show just how much leeway they have for recreating these designs in the closest way possible, without crossing any boundaries protected by law.
Specifically, Mancini broke down how the brand managed to keep their ‘Flawless Glow’ on the shelves (remember, the one that is virtually the same as the Charlotte Tilbury cult favourite?). By viewing the two side by side (see my helpful image), the resemblance is uncanny, but it is just different. You can tell a lawyer has been watching over this to ensure the product is different enough so as not to infringe on Charlotte Tilbury’s rights. Which, it turns out, are few and far between.
$73
$28
Mancini found that the word ‘flawless’ is not trademarked by CT, only the phrase ‘Hollywood Flawless Filter’ has been. Therefore, ‘flawless’ was fair game, so MCo slapped it on the bottle. The key element of the CT product that MCo could not attempt to replicate was the diamond graphic with the CT initials inside it, as it is a ‘protected asset’. The finished MCobeauty product does not infringe on any of Charlotte’s marks, but the internet has blown up about its release, sparking debate and bewilderment.
What about the formulas of the makeup itself? Could they be under a copyright too? I hear your questions, to which Mancini says this is almost a non-issue. He claims that formulas are something that garner little to no innovation in the beauty industry, as most products are just variations of the same chemical creations. Now I’m no scientist, but the point is clear –what goes inside a bottle or tube are not particularly ground-breaking in terms of IP, but how it is packaged truly gives the brand identity. When another brand (enter MCobeauty stage left) blatantly replicates that brand identity, whilst within legal limits, it then creates an issue of ethics.
Whilst MCo may be doing all of this duping in a legal way, it does not take away from the fact that they are taking cult favourite products that are known for their iconic names, packaging, designs, and formulas, and rendering them almost useless in the name of a bargain. A cheaper alternative to a pricey product is always tempting, but it is definitely worth a second thought when you go to purchase something from MCo. Are you purchasing it because the original product is out of budget (fair enough, cozzie livs)? Or are you simply purchasing it for internet hype and to ‘give it a go’? I will not tell you which way is right; I am no influencer. But I could be…. Charlotte Tilbury, if you’re reading this darling, put me on your PR list.
They weren’t looking the Verwayen they were goin’!
-Franc de Zwart, 2023 (and probably every other year he’s taught Equity)
BY Ekaterini Kountourogiannis
Ding dong, the sportsman turned (alleged and acquitted) murderer, is dead. In honour of The Juice’s passing, how did the mountain of evidence presented by the Prosecution in the “trial of the century” still let OJ walk? It’s a bit more complicated than ‘the glove didn’t fit’ (it f*cking did).
Editors, its ok; dead men can’t sue for defamation.
On 17 June 1994, Orenthal-James (‘OJ’) Simpson was charged with two counts of first-degree murder for the deaths of Nicole BrownSimpson – OJ’s ex-wife – and her friend, Ronald Goldman, who were found murdered in the front yard of Nicole’s home in Brentwood, California.
The prosecution was composed of Deputy District Attorney Marcia Clark as lead prosecutor, and Christopher Darden as co-counsel. On the opposite side of the courtroom, OJ was backed up by the high-profile ‘Dream Team’, led by Johnnie Cochran, and comprised of Robert Shapiro (the girls are fighting!! Shapiro had initially led the team but stepped aside for Cochran – a prominent civil rights lawyer), F. Lee Bailey, Robert Kardashian (yes, those Kardashians), and Alan Dershowitz.
9:36PM OJ is seen by Kato
10:00PM OJ is seen by Kato
10:02PM OJ calls Paula
10:25PM Alan testifies to not seeing OJ’s Bronco in his driveway
10:30PM
10:40PM Alan rings OJ’s doorbell - no answer
10:54PM OJ taken by Alan to the airport
Credit: Chicago tribune
Credit: New York Post
OJ had no alibi for the 1 hour and 18 minutes during which the murders are purported to have taken place. The prosecution argued that OJ had committed the murders and upon returning home and seeing Allan waiting for him, entered through the back of the house This was supported by Kato’s testimony that he had heard a commotion behind the pool-house (where he was living at the time) around the time of OJ’s purported return. It was also behind the poolhouse that one of the two infamous leather gloves were found, with the accompanying missing glove found at the scene of the crime.
The turning point in the defence’s case was when OJ had tried on the infamous gloves. The prosecution was hesitant to allow OJ to try on the gloves for a number of reason including that they were soaked in the blood of OJ and both victims as well as having been frozen and unfrozen several times since the occurrence of the murders. Despite this hesitancy it was coprosecutor Darden who asked OJ to trial the gloves
However when OJ had attempted to put on the gloves, they appeared too tight on his hands. While the defence raised this as a clear reason for his acquittal, it is crucial to note that OJ had worn latex gloves under the leather gloves which may have contributed to the tight fight. This when paired with the repeated freezing and unfreezing of the gloves in evidence contributes to the unreliability as considering this to be a clear-cut sign of his innocence
Despite the significant amount of DNA evidence tying OJ to the scene of the crime, the handling of said evidence opened the door for the defence to successfully argue corruption and mishandling of evidence. The police responsible for evidence collection admitted to having made several mistakes including inconsistent changing of gloves between handling items of evidence and holding the evidence in the police van unrefrigerated for approximately 7 hours after collection
Race played an integral role in both the prosecution and defence cases. For the prosecution, the perception of who was convicting OJ was an important one given the surrounding social circumstances. 2 years prior to the murders, LA resident and African American man Rodney King had been brutally beaten by 4 LAPD officers who were then subsequently acquitted. This outcome had led to wide-scale riots throughout LA. The fear of potential riots prompted the State District Attorney to file charges in downtown LA instead of Santa Monica (where the crimes occurred) to allow for a more racially diverse jury pool. The prospect of OJ’s acquittal, given the insurmountable evidence tying him to the crimes was unfathomable to the prosecution therefore, it is alleged that the prosecution attempted to compose the jury of majority African Americans as to dissuade public outrage when OJ would ‘inevitably’ be found guilty of murder.
The defence also argued that corruption within the Los Angeles Police Department led to OJ being framed. The lead detective, Mark Furhman, was exposed to be a staunch racist, after falsely denying using the N-word in the last 10 years under oath, through the discovery of several audiotapes. These tapes made their way to the jury and allowed the defence to argue that Fuhrman, fuelled by his racist hate for successful Black men, had planted the glove at OJ’s residence, and with the help of other detectives, had also planted OJ’s blood DNA throughout the crime scene.
Whilst the jury gave some consideration to the domestic abuse endured by Nicole at the hands of OJ, much of the evidence detailing the extent of abuse was withheld from the jury. Nicoles diary entries detailing the violent physical abuse sustained was not shown to the jury with Judge Ito stating it amounted to hearsay as Nicole could not be crossexamined by the defence The jury were not informed that Nicole has contacted a ‘battered wives’ shelter 5 days before she was murdered, as it was alleged that OJ was stalking her. Additionally the prosecution had elected to drop their domestic violence approach early on as they believed the DNA evidence against OJ to be undefeatable.
Despite the trial taking 8 months to finish, the jury had only deliberated a measly 4 hours before finding OJ not guilty on two counts of first-degree murder. In the years following the verdict a juror spoke out, saying that her not-guilty verdict was payback to the LAPD for their role in the beating of Rodney King
2 years following, OJ was found liable on the balance of probabilities for the deaths of both Nicole and Ronald in a civil suit brought by their estate. Only a small portion of the $34 million awarded to the Goldman family has been paid out.
By Alina Tairli
Time is money, my mother was right, but when clocks finally tell me ‘midnight’, all I have is forty two unread emails and a shredded pile of printing fails.
I draft pleadings to stay proceedings, but all I want is a recess from this endless pursuit of justice and success or maybe just a paycheck.
Billable hours tick away, and I wonder is it too late to be a barista?
We accept the fact that we’ve spent the year creating this hilarious, ridiculous magazine, sacrificing our time and sanity for whatever sum we’re being paid to do so ($0/hour). You may think we’re crazy for wanting to do it again. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each of us is a brain...
... an amateur Canva us
... a high-brow journalis
.... an excellent meme
... and a semi-committe
Does that answer your
Sincerely yours,
Isab, Chris, Josh xo
Don’t you forget about us Liggy patrons. Enjoy your summer clerkships. See you in 2025.
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