HILARIAN0THEA PUBLICATION OF THETHEAULSS ABLE FACULTY’S THIRD-MOST WIDELY-READ STUDENT MAGAZINEISSUE 3, SEMESTER 2 2O22 11 HOW I JUDGE YOU BASED ON WHERE YOU STUDY Alex and Kanika make some observations about nerds who study LAMENTATIONS OF A FORMER LAW STUDENT Alex Karpov tells you why you should put your drop-out plans on hold 18 SHAKIRA GOES TO JAIL Netra discusses the former pop star’s alleged tax fraud 38
2 isEHTMAET OWNAIRALIHEHTDNIHEBULDLIKETOACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE LAND THE ADELAIDE UNIVERSITYLAWSCHOOLISONIS OF
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTCOUNTRY
the traditional land of the Kaurna people, and that we respect their spiritual relationship with their Country. We acknowledge the deep feelings of attachment and relationship of the Kaurna people to Coun try and we respect and value their past, present and ongoing connection to the land and cultural beliefs.
WANT TO JOIN US? Need a reason to procrastinate? Apply for a position on our subcommittee via the QR code, or follow the instructions below to submit your content to The Hilarian Magazine for publication in the next edition! THE HILARIAN IS CALL ING FOR CASUAL SUB MISSIONS FOR ISSUE 4! IF YOU LOVE WRITING, SKETCHING, PHOTOGRA PHY, MAKING JOKES ABOUT LAW SCHOOL LIFE, OR IF GRANDMA TELLS YOU THAT YOU’RE FUNNY, PLEASE SEND IN YOUR CONTENT! CONTACT US ON FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM, OR VIA HILARIAN@AULSS.ORG Prompt ideas include cafe or restaurant reviews, tributes to celebrities or observations on campus life. Comparisons between courses, or a really good playlist. General advice to First Years (or any years for that mat ter, we’re all equally lost on the social laws in the Ligertwood). 3
4 CONTENTS 6 EDITORS’ WELCOME 8 ABLE WELCOME 9 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR the student 11 HOW I JUDGE YOU, BASED ON WHERE YOU STUDY Alexander Dorrington and Kanika Singla 15 THE IDIOT-PROOF GUIDE TO LE GAL LATIN TERMS Kanika Singla 16 A FIFTH YEAR’S GUIDE TO LAW SCHOOL Ellie Vivlios 17 NEW SEMESTER RESOLUTIONS Kush Goyal and Ikhwan Fazli 18 LAWOFLAMENTATIONSAFORMERSTUDENT Alex Karpov 13 REMOVED FROM THE LAW SCHOOL NOTICE BOARD Kush Goyal and Ikhwan Fazli 22 A PREVUE OF THE LAW REVUE Belle Watts and Thomas Paul (Or how to become a sexy sexy businessperson) 20 45 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU LEAVE LAW SCHOOL Ikhwan Fazli and Rafik Gayed
5 25 WHICH FICTIONAL LAWYER ARE YOU? Bhoomika Trivedi 27 ANNIE’S TIRAMISU Annie Zhang 30 CROSSWORD Belle Watts 31 HOW VERY GRAPHIC Mikhail Ivanov 32 BEST CHAI IN TOWN? Jennifer Lamb and Navah Heidari 34 A FEW GOOD MY COUSINS VINNY Will Broderick the lawyer 38 SHAKIRA GOES TO JAIL?! Netra Ramkumar 40 WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN AT LAW SCHOOL Beth Nosworthy, Dale Stephens, An drew Stewart, Mark Giancaspro and Bhoomika Trivedi 43 HOW TO DRESS FOR THE PERFECT JOB INTERVIEW Kush Goyal and Belle Watts 45 A VOICE TO PARLIAMENT Anna Olijnik the procrastinator THE OF ONE ALEX JONES H.I. Larian
Last, but not least, we aim to be easy to work with, down to earth and ap proachable. We believe in the power of teams, rather than individuals: to secure successful outcomes, we bring together groups of people with just the right mix of sector, product and juris dictional knowledge. Catch you on the flip side! Your Hilarian Editors: Kush, Ikhwan, Cerys and Rui. 6
EDITORS’ WELCOME WELCOME TO THE BEST EDITION OF THE HILARIAN 2022 (SO FAR) ... We are one of the world’s pre-eminent law student magazines, with signif icant depth and range of resources across five continents. As a single, fully integrated, global partnership, we pride ourselves on our approachable, collegial and teambased way of working. We always strive to exceed the expec tations of our loyal readers, which in clude corporates bigwigs from all the commercial and industrial sectors, the financial investor community, heads of states, regulators, trade bodies and sad, broke law students. We provide them with the highest-quality humour and legal-adjacent memes, which com bines the Firm’s global standards with in-depth local expertise.
7 CREDITS: Photo by Kathryn Jannes Modelled by Henry Allen, Hasti Mehdikani, Lucas Michaels and CONTRIBUTIONS FROM Alexander Dorrington, Rafik Gad, Netra Ramkumar, Bhoomika Trivedi, Thomas Paul, Kanika Singla, Ellie Vivlios, Alex Karpov, Mikhail Ivanov, Will Broderick, Jen nfier Lamb, Navah Heidari, Annie Zhang, and Belle Watts The Hilarian would also like to extend a special thank you to Christina Akele, whose wonderful submissions to the magazine over the last two years have been very much loved and appreciated. ANSWERS:XWORD ACROSS: ,1. WARRANT 4. KUSHGOYAL 7. BOILERMAKERS 9. 14.13.10.MATTMURDOCKGREENDONOGHUEALEXJONES DOWN 2. READINGSREQUIRED 3. YOUX 5. HALLOWEEN 6. ABLE 8. 12.11.COFFEEJUDGESLEEP
8 ABLE WELCOME THE HILARIAN WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND A SPECIAL WELCOME TO ALL THE ARTS STUDENTS WHO HAVE JOINED OUR FACUL TY! WE HOPE THAT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A WONDER FUL FRIENDSHIP. WE HAVE INCLUDED THIS PAGE TO APPEAL TO OUR NEWEST DEMOGRAPHIC:
Dear ThanksEditors,foral the great articles! I love them all! In particular, I really appreciated your recommendation to try Exchange Specialty Coffee in the previous issue of the Hilari an. I went there recently with my friends and it’s become one of our favourite spots to hang out between classes. What other coffee spots would you recommend around the university?
Sincerely, Rava Hi We’reRava,really glad that you’re loving our articles! We wanted to start publishing more food and drink recommendations for this year’s issues and we’ve been very happy by the positive reception so far. Our first recommendation would of course be St. Raphael’s Coffee in the Ligertwood Building. Best coffee on campus, and Michelle’s absolutely lovely. Otherwise, we would recommend trying out all the cafes on the East End! We especially love Penny University and Hey Jupiter. Also, if you’re a fan of Chai, we’d also suggest checking out Jennie and Navah’s brilliant ‘Comprehen sive Guide to a Lawyer’s Perfect Chai’ - available in this issue of the Hilarian! Dear Editors, Loving your work so far, and I’ve really been inspired by the idea of creating a magazine targeting a specific segment of the university community. As a Law and Economics student, I’m thinking of founding a magazine for Econ students. What types of software do you and your team use to edit the Hilari an, and are they any tips that you would recommend to other potential Editors? Kind regards, Tom Hi Tom, Thanks for the lovely feedback. Also, what the fuck did you just fucking say, you little bitch? Perhaps you have not read the details of the ABLE merger, but the Hilarian is now the third-most trusted news for all four schools (after Tiktok and The Conversation). We don’t know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you’re trying to pull here, but ABLE is now our territory. So, whatever you’re thinking, you’d better think again! Otherwise we’re gonna have to head down there and we will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You’re gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep us from fucking destroying you. We’re talking scorched earth, motherfucker! We will mas sacre you! WE WILL FUCK YOU UP! Again, thank you for the kind comments, Hilarian Editorial Team
LETTERS TO THE EDITORS ARE YOU PERENNIALLY EXPECT ING DISAPPOINTMENT ON A DAILY BASIS? DO YOU ALSO NEED SOME ADVICE ABOUT LAW SCHOOL LIFE AND HAVE A QUESTION IN MIND? IF YOU SATISFY THESE CRITERIA, THEN PLEASE EMAIL US YOUR QUE RIES AT HILARIAN@AULSS.ORG.
STUDENTTHE Everything related to life as a student, including expe riences and resolutions, stories and important things to remember that are integral to studying law at Ade laide University. 10
LIGGY BASEMENT – Who goes here? Are you feeling okay? Do you think that being buried under 3 levels of concrete will somehow make being bur ied under 4 subjects worth of content any more bearable? This is the most depressing space in the entire Universi ty. Hands down.
BARR SMITH LIBRARY LEVEL 2 – You’ve ei ther left an assignment to the last minute then real ised you can’t get sources online (don’t lie, we’ve all been there), or you’re doing group work and REALLY don’t want to have to talk to your group.
11 HOW I JUDGE YOU, BASED ON WHERE YOU STUDY
LIGGY LIBRARY – You’ve convinced yourself that sitting in a law area will make you under stand the law better (hint: it doesn’t). You have, however, been able to successfully feign a level of legal knowledge merely by sitting near all the books. Bonus points if you sit near professors but don’t have the guts to speak to them.
ALEXANDER DORRINGTON & KANIKA SINGLA
READING ROOM – Either you’re the smartest person in your friendship group, or you don’t understand what “quiet zone” means. Either way, you’re annoying. Be like the rest of us and save your silence for when the lecturer asks a seminar question.
HUB LEVEL 3 COUCHES (OR ANY COUCHES) – What are you? A high schooler? A first year? Grow up. Studying shouldn’t be comfort able. It should be suffering. It’s part of the law degree experience. I hope you feel ashamed. Not to mention that those couches are filthier than Ad elaide metro seats (which any good law student should refuse to catch).
12
HOME – You’re way too hungover to think about coming into Uni for either class or study alike. There’s no shame in it. State Library – As above, you realised less than 48 hours before a due date that you can’t get the sources you need online, but you don’t want to be recognised. Or you’re a nerd. Nerd.
LIGGY GROUND FLOOR – You’re not really studying, and you’re not fooling anyone by pretending; you’re just doing an impression of some one who studies until you see somebody that you know walk through the doors. Then you’re off to get coffee or food or whatever it is that you do to justify not doing the work that you pay the Uni for you to do.
3rd YEAR LAW STUDENT selling 2021 contract law notes. Notes are colour coded, organised by week, and good for at least a high pass.
SIONDISPOSALSCOMMONWEALTHSomeone?Anyone?COMMISsellingtheshipwreckof
Taiwan’s Chances of Remaining Sov Nowereignyou can live out your Dale Stephens dreams of being a lawyer in the military when you inevita bly get drafted!
OBITUARY Wing-It Sports Bar And so we eat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaseless ly into past Wing It Wednesdays.
OUT
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This board is painstakingly updated on every moon phase by our team, but please note that the available opportunities themselves may be seasonal. If you would like for a listing to be posted on this board, please email hilarian@aulss.org to get in touch.
Alex Jones We know you’re always there, in our hearts (and across the road), watching over and guiding us. We miss you so much. Dame Olivia Newton-John Thank you for reminding us that if someone does not romantically like us, we should change ourselves to be like them. Grease Lightning!
1st YEAR LAW STUDENT looking for friends to go to law dinner with. a tanker off the coast of Papua New Guinea that we are 97% sure exists.
13 REMOVED FROM THE LAW SCHOOL NOTICEBOARD KuSh GOyAl AND IKhWAN FAzlI
Shinzo Abe The longest-serving Premier in Japanese history, not many world leaders have had the degree of impact that Shinzo Abe has had on his TheNeighboursnation.longest running Australian TV Show has (finally) finished its race. Thank you for making Margot Robbie famous, though I honestly know no one who watched the show every night.
40 Y.0. LECTURER looking for a 19 Y.O. sugarbaby. Must not have studied criminal law. Also, ideally someone who can come up with dry jokes to pep per into my ridiculouslylectures.boring OF WORK ACADEM IC looking to sell at least two copies of the book I wrote on Admin Law now that I am no longer course coordinator and cannot prescribe it to my students. Copies selling for $200 each.
THE LGUIDEIDIOT-PROOFTOLEGALATINTERMS
KANIKA SINGLA
Jus cogens: Very important rules of international law. There will be big problems if you break these. For example, you must not carry scissors on a plane, and must not text an ex when drunk.
Ultra vires: beyond the legal authority. That’s why your dad always tells you to go ask your mum.
Mens reus: the guilty mind/conscience. For example, the feeling you have when you walk out of Coles without buying anything. Actus reus: The guilty act. For example, walking into a law school competition in jeans and a T-shirt.
Bona fide: in good faith, genuine. The exact opposite of the legal profession.
Obiter Dictum: an opinion said in passing and not relevant to the case. The judge’s own expression of individuality. ro bono:
15 P
Amici curiae: an impartial advisor in a case. The pot stirrer.
Pacta sunt servanda: agreements made are to be honoured. For example, if you said you would practice every day on Duolingo, then you better do that, buddy.
legal work done for little cost or without charge. For example, doing a traineeship at a law firm.
Opinio juris: the belief that an act is legally required. For example, we all think it’s legally required to lush the toilet as quietly as possible in the middle of the night. Right?
On that note, I highly recommend the following places to cry and order coffee from: Abbots & Kinney, Exchange on Vardon, Larry & Ladd, 30 Acres and our lovely coffee cart, St. Ralph’s,Liggyoutside(ofc). You will be inundated with a million and one things to think about – readings, tutorial questions, seminar preparation, law ball, career nights, ‘mooting’ (which should not be confused with ‘mooning’),IRAC…etclearningetc.
Congratulations!
However, when these unsettling questions start to cross your mind, don’t let it scare you. Don’t ask ‘is it really worth it?’, as I have before. I think it is important to clear the air though, as had I known this prior to studying my degree – perhaps I would have rethought my career choice.
I hate to be the bearer of this news and add to that growing pile of law school obligations, but as someone who has witnessed almost five years of Liggy Life, I feel obligated to advise you on your journey ahead: 1.Two harsh realities
Give Law a chance. Law is intellectually stimulating and while you may not have the intentions of practicing it, the skills and academic pathways available to law graduates are, in my humble opinion, unmatched.
Enjoy the ride Self-explanatory really. Work hard, dream big and make the most of the amazing law school experience.
The CV Olympics
EV.Sincerely 16
Don’t let this deter you – simply consider it an affir mation that you are really studying Law for thereasons.right As unsettling as it may be, lawyers can sometimes be fabulously well paid, and this often applies to the ones that work hours that may lead to mental breakdowns.
To my dismay, I learnt shortly after completing my first law topics that there tears, late nights and plenty of coffee will be required to get through.you
The reality of it, though, is that graduate positions don’t lead to a six figure pay packet in your first year out of University, and it will take some time to build your way up to that.
The depressing reality is that you are likely competing with many other students from your cohort. Even if you are a whiz kid, good grades alone won’t cut it. What this means is that you need to obtain any legal ex perience, a summer clerkship, volunteer work, co-cur ricular participation and illustrate that you maintain a good uni-life balance. And yes, impressive grades too.
ELLIE VIVLIOS
Now that you have experienced a semester of the Hunger Games of law school, let’s clear the air about two things about Law: The job market that I am about to enter is comically oversaturated with law graduates, with hundreds of applicants for every role.
Many firms employ part-time clerks and even volun teering positions with the Women’s Legal Service or free legal aid clinics is beneficial.
In a nutshell: get some clerking and/or legal experi ence on your CV sooner rather than later. Standing a chance for a graduate position can mean participating in what I call, the CV Olympics. I have heard countless comments from family members that there are “no jobs in law”, to which I plan to challenge.
If I could rewind to my second or third year, I would have tried to get a clerkship earlier. It’s the thing that makes your CV so attractive to potential employers.
It was the eve before SWOTVAC (actually it was just the long weekend and I was procrastinating). None theless, here’s a page of my thoughts. So, you survived your first semester of Law School.
A FIFTH YEAR’S GUIDE TO SCHOOLLAW
KUSH & IKHWAN REFLECT ON THEIR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FROM ISSUE 1 1. Attend Don’t fall behinD on recor DeD in person 2.Attendlecturesallseminars for at least one subject 3.Go to more AULSS events – especially the hilarian launch party 4.Moderate creeping coffee cocaine addiction5.Keepup with beg olDer stu Dents for notes6.Make new smarter friends 7. Must not try to hook up with someone (literally anyone, goD please) from the law school 8. Make sure that examiners i can read my own handwriting 9. Get a clerkship brag about clerkship on linkeDin. 10.Have my parents someone say that they’re proud of me. 17
And this rant of mine is not intended to evoke the feelings of gratitude and relief that ‘hey, doesn’t matter if my GPA is lower than 5, I’m still a bloody law student and this dimwit isn’t.’
LAMENTATIONS
Having switched my degree after one year of Law and IR (the latter is a total waste of time and money, especially the latter since ScoMo and his gang upped the costs for humanities back in the day), I’ve come to an uneasy conclusion that there are very few degrees at Uni truly worth doing. And, luckily for you, my dear reader, Law is one of them. You may be thinking ‘oi, it’s easy for you to say that cos you don’t have to read 150 pages of constitutional law over the weekend.’ And that’s precisely why it’s worth doing. I know that there is so much pressure on you to do well, to have a good GPA, to get a clerkship, to get a legal job simply anywhere in Australia. And I also know that sometimes you feel like ‘why the hell do I do this? No proper careers, definitely not in Adelaide, too much competition, it’s Adelaide Law School, not Sydney, plus I don’t have a rich daddy doing law, plus I’m so damn tired of buying law textbooks (and law ball tickets) for $150 each.’ These are all fairly legitimate
OF
18
It is hard to use the phrase ‘former law student’ and not be tempted to replace it with a more habitual ‘law dropout’. Yes, one can say with conceited confidence and barely hidden fear of the same happening to yourself that I am a dropout who, for some obscure reasons, decided that Psychology is a far more fitting discipline than Law (which it isn’t). It is hard to meet new people in our beloved Ligertwood and, when asked ‘how’s that Equity assignment going?’, mount enough confidence to blurt out that you are not a Law student anymore, only to be met with puzzled glances usually meaning ‘so what the hell are you still doing here?’. Sometimes I want to tell some inexperi enced law students that they don’t realise how lucky they are to be studying law, that they don’t under stand how dull, drab and simply unexciting other uni faculties are, that they don’t appreciate seeing our dear Michelle almost every weekday serving arguably the best coffee and snacks on campus, that they don’t understand how (unusually) rigorous their education is and that they simply don’t know what studying another uni degree here is like (mind you, a double degree with law doesn’t count).
reasons to feel that the initial allure of being a lawyer turned out to be just another one of those hoaxes that life is so richly endowed with. But they all fade in comparison to a sudden realisation that the degree you are doing doesn’t teach you much, that your tu tors turn out to be less knowledgeable and prepared for the subject than you are, that you never get a textbook for the course you are taking, that usually you are surrounded by unambitious, unimaginative and purposeless individuals who decided to do a Uni degree simply because they need some degree.
However challenging, at times hateful, time-con suming and debilitating your studies may be, at least they are studies and not simply a pretence used to convince your mommy and daddy that you don’t idle away your time at Uni vegetating with bros at the infamous Uni Bar. The fact that you have to peruse a textbook for a case that you might have overlooked, that you have to engage in extracurricular activities that raise the bar even higher, that you have to be an active student aiming to build new relationships with fellow students and staff members – all of this fills your time at Uni with meaning and purpose, some thing that is almost lost outside the dear Liggy.
‘Oh, if only I had the wits To follow the heart and not the crowd.’
FORMER LAW
A STUDENT
Sounds all pretty controversial and unrealistic, you might say? Ask your fellow law students who are also taking arts subjects and you’ll get a cautious, gradual, but a confident nod.
ALEXANDER KARPOV
So, if that feared, largely ignored at first but immi nent nonetheless, thought of ‘maybe I should switch’ does end up coming to the surface of your conscious ness, think twice. Or, if you’re like me (which means don’t be like me), you can always come back as a graduate student and cram your precious years of law with 5 law subjects per semester, and that’s of course not counting the winter school, summer school, trimester 3, legal competitions, clerkships, family matters, work, social life, relationships, sport …
20 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU LEAVE LAW SCHOOL (TO HAVE TRULY EXPERIENCED UNI) RAFIK GAYED AND IKHWAN FAZLI 1. Get kicked out of the Unibar (don’t throw pool balls at the bartenders though) 2. Pick up a copy of the Hilarian (congrats, you did it!) 3. Learn to manage your hatred for other people when paired with randoms for group projects 4. Check out the AULSS Jobs Board 5. Figure out how the AGLC actually works 6. Tell people that you’re studying law because you love justice and not for the money 7. Get rejected from a law firm, and then find out that your friend got the position 8. Go get wings every Wednesday at the Gil bert Street Hotel, slowly killing your body 9. Spot one of your law professors jaywalking across North Terrace 10. Try out a competition and lose horribly 11. Visit a friend studying at a different univer sity and judge their study habits (and their povo uni) 12. Go to a Career Fair 13. Reinvent your entire persona before decid ing it’s too much effort to maintain 14. Make new and exciting friends in your seminar that you’ll never meet again 15. Make a horrible, horrible mistake with a friend that you are attracted to 16. Pull an all nighter trying to get an assign ment done 17. Accidentally leave your Law School Local card at home as you watch your more organised friends secure 15% discounts at Yochi 18. Attend a 9am lecture hungover after a night out 19. Realise that your classmates have been selling their old exam notes while you’ve just been deleting them 20. Write out a letter to your future self 21. Invent time travel to stop your past self from enrolling in law. 22. Join a sports team 23. Sit in on a class that you’re not even taking – before realising that you’re doing extra work 24. Do something weird for charity so that you can get the graduate award 25. Forget to change your ways after telling someone you’d do so 26. Confess to the Hilarian 27. Cook/microwave/airfry a meal for a friend
28. Have a class get cancelled after you’ve already shown up to Uni 29. Take a break from your mental health to finish an assignment 30. Delete your social media for a day and then regret that you’re missing out on Hilarian confessions 31. Fork out money on law society merch to flex on fellow Art students 32. Watch a lecture out loud in the Library after years of complaining about people who do that 33. Go to an AULSS event without passing out/ remem ber what happened the next day 34. Find out that you have to do GDLP to actually prac tice law (hopefully before your penultimate year) 35. Binge watch all your lectures the day before an exam 36. Get confused by why the worst person in your semi nars keeps showing up in the mirror 37. Binge watch all of Rake the day before an exam 38. Organise a Road Trip with your friends – and realise how hard it is to actually follow through with it 39. Get too drunk at pres to be allowed into Law Ball/ Get kicked out of Law Ball 40. Throw a proper dinner party 41. Try out every dining option on campus 42. Get coffee with a Professor (and then get hated on by other students) 43. Discover that you can get rid of impostor syndrome by cultivating a superiority complex instead. 44. Brag about your singular HD to everyone who can hear 45. Judge arts students for not having a future career
23
Semester 2 has signalled the start of several exciting events but none more so than the beginning of Law Revue rehearsals. It has been revealed to fans young and old that the well renowned show has finally begun to take shape for 2022!
“The goal is to have a show that meets the perfect balance of organised chaos, child ish humour and glorified incompetence.
Many people have said that the Law Re vue has previously been self-centred and a little bit cult like. You know what? They’re absolutely right and we’re absolutely going to continue with the same vibe this year.
won’t want to miss this one!
The Adelaide Law Revue is a satirical/ political/very
whatpageonformation14th,cannotcomedy/musical/theatrecool/amateur/professional/showthatyoumiss.Performancedatesarethe15th,16thand17thofSeptember.InaboutticketsaleswillbepostedtheAdelaideLawRevueFacebookalongsideafewsneakpeeksintotheshowisallabout.Trustme,you
with director, Alice McKay, as she outlined her vision for the show:
A OF THE LAW REVUE WITH BELLE WATTS AND THOMAS PAUL
Being the highlight of the September So cial Calendar doesn’t come easily and like Rome, this show takes a bit more than a day to build. I was very kindly invited to sit in on one of the rehearsals to see how the stage magic was made. Upon entering the room, I was met with a chaotic cacophony of people singing ran dom song lyrics, shouting out puns and trying to write law lecturers into various compromising scenarios. I watched as the current socio-political climate of Australia and the world was slowly torn to pieces and reshaped into satirical sketches, musical numbers and many, many, many groan inducing jokes. It was genuinely impressive to watch not only how intelligently the cast dissected all the events that had happened this past year, but to see how they had all been slowly collecting these headlines purely for the purpose of turning them into Law Revue sketches. Slightly cult-like and obsessive? It certainly appeared that way. As the cast begun rehearsing a choreo graphed dance number to one of their parody songs, they very kindly walked me through the classic dance moves known to all Law Revue performers. This “holy trin ity” of dance moves, the fish-fish-bird, box step and Fernandez-Bonandez, was truly Isomething.satdown
PREVUE
There is nothing better than finding that niche sweet spot amidst all the panic of the world to provide the perfect material to produce an incredibly over the top, outrageously glamourous show. I know that this year’s cast and crew are 100% on the right road to creating such a show and you would have to be an absolute coward to miss out on seeing it.”
24 PROCRASTINATORTHE Everything you need to help you actively avoid doing your work. Playlists, Style Inspo, Horoscopes and Crosswords, Entertainment Guides and Restaurant Reviews (both cheap eats and slightly more spenny).
25 WhICh FICTIONAl lAWyER ARE yOu BASED ON yOuR STAR SIGN?
Virgo Mickey Haller; The Lincoln Lawyer: Along with being kind, practical and sympathetic, you are one of the smartest and the most fearless people to exist. You love being on the go always; whether that being working in the car or ordering on the go food. That is why, Mickey Haller is a stellar representa tion of your personality. He thinks better on the road and owns an array of Lincoln’s, a dream you are dying to fulfil.
Jennifer Walters; She-Hulk: You are calm and composed and believe in living a peaceful life. Until you are spiked by an act of injustice. That is when your 6’7 green fiery personality kicks in and dare some one cross your path until you fulfil your purpose. Therefore, Jennifer Walters, AKA She-Hulk, is the ideal embodiment of your personality. A powerful woman with an unshakable moral centre, who will rest not till she reaches!
Taurus
Cancer Elle Woods; Legally Blonde: You are an emotional being who tends to be moody from time to time. But, if someone tries to show you down, you will go above and beyond to prove them wrong. If that is you, then you are just another version of Elle Woods. With a chihuahua in one hand and staunch determination in the other, you are unstoppable.
Libra Ally McBeal; Ally McBeal: You are the literal embodiment of beauty with brains. You seek balance in life and are passionate about helping people attain justice. Very similar to you is Ally McBeal’s character, an ambitious woman who is the goddess of balancing personal life with being one of the best lawyers in the firm. Like her, you are smart, confident and kickass in every field of life.
Bhoomika Trivedi Aries Jessica Pearson; Suits: Brave and unafraid, you are an ambitious individual who stands tall and confident in any situation thrown at them. That is why you would fit perfectly into the character of Jessica Pearson from Suits. She is the boss lady who takes no bullshit from people who try to pull her down and her dress sense is top-notch. In her own words, your mantra for life is, “I don’t respond to threats. I make them”.
Gemini Jack McCoy; Law & Order: You are clever and shrewd. Getting work done one way or another is your speciality (even if that may involve breaking rules sometimes). Hence, you would be the perfect Jack McCoy in another world. He may not be the most ethical lawyer being the one going against trial rules but at the end of the day, he gets what he wants.
Leo Gomez Addams; The Addams Family: There is nothing you’re prouder of than your very own pride. You are loyal and responsible but there are very clear signs of narcissistic behaviour in you. For those reasons, Gomez Addams is someone you would relate to. A man who has never won a single case but refuses to see himself as anything but the best in the most dramatic way possible.
Capricorn Alan Shore; Boston Legal: You don’t mind a hustle but if there one, you would want to boast about it at every party you go to. Just like Alan Shore, you are the champion of the underdogs and are understanding of your clients’ plight. You are funny just like he is and are dedicated to win at all costs.
Pisces Lionel Hutz; The Simpsons: As a creative and innovative individual, you are always looking for ways to stand out and do some thing different. You are gracious and kind but tend to pursue unrealistic objectives. That is why, Lionel Hutz is someone you may see yourself in. His eccentric nature translates into the work he does which is evi dent from the fact that his practice is literally named “ I Can’t Believe It’s a Law Firm!”
Libra Ally McBeal; Ally McBeal: You are the lit eral embodiment of beauty with brains. You seek balance in life and are passionate about helping people attain justice. Very similar to you is Ally McBeal’s character, an ambitious woman who is the goddess of balancing personal life with being one of the best lawyers in the firm. Like her, you are smart, confident and kickass in every field of life.
26 -sentation of your personality. He thinks better on the road and owns an array of Lincoln’s, a dream you are dying to fulfil.
Sagittarius Matt Murdock; Daredevil: You are loyal, smart and funny and love spending time helping people get a fair share of their rights. Your presence is naturally captivating. Hence, you may find yourself similar to Matt Murdock. A man who is works only for others and finds happiness in it, just like you wish to use your skills for the betterment of the society.
Aquarius Annalise Keating; How to Get Away with Murder: You are passionate, intelligence and self reliant. Your personality screams confidence and with every look, you reel everyone in with your charismatic nature. You may be tough at times and that is why Annalise Keating may be the most relatable character for you. She is a powerful , strong headed human, just like you.
Scorpio Saul Goodman; Better Call Saul: you are sharp-witted, brave and dedicated but not the most honest person in the room. You may at times fool people into believing you and your actions. There is a natural streak in you for being strategic with every step you take. Therefore, you may be the next Saul Goodman of your generation. Not the best lawyer, but a mighty good scam artist who may or may not be partial towards certain criminals.
For dramatic effect, plonk it in the middle of the table at any gathering or event that beckons your culinary contribution. Watch the attendees come in hordes and make like bull ants around a writhing cricket larva. Make sure your eggs are fresh, as you’re consuming them raw in this recipe. If you have an egg allergy (I’m looking at you, Aryan), then I kindly refer you to my apple pie recipe as some poor souls are just predestined to never taste the glory of a traditional tiramisu.
ATTEMPTS. Dearest readers,
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DEDICATED TO AJD, FOR VETTING MY FIRST FEW
TIRAMISU TIRAMISU
Since my apple pie recipe submission in issue 2 of this year’s Hilarian, the collective of your lovely comments and feedback has inflated my ego higher than the GPA cut-off for magic circle law firm clerkships. As such, I’m back with another recipe for you all, while I reel from my most recent rejection letter (McKinsey, you broke my fragile little corporate heart). If you’re a regular offender of burning toast, let alone homemade baked goods, tiramisu is the perfect dessert that screams class, and specialism. Add this to your recipe inventory to declare how cultured, quirky and inimitable.
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3. Add the mascarpone to the egg yolk and caster sugar mixture and beat on slow speed until just combined and smooth, forming the cream mixture that you will add to the egg whites.
1. In a large mixing bowl, add the egg whites and beat it on high-speed using a stand mixer or electric beater, for at least 3-4 minutes until it is stiff and forms hard peaks. Set it aside.
2. In a separate mixing bowl, beat the egg yolks and caster sugar together on medium to high speed for at least 3-4 minutes, until the mix-ture looks pale yellow in colour and thick in consistency. No need to clean the beater attachments, unless you decide to beat the egg yolks and sugar before you beat the egg whites, as the fat in the yolks will prevent the egg whites from firming up.
Pour the instant coffee into a shallow bowl or a mug. Get a large dish that is deep enough for tiramisu and keep it near you. Or, you can also use little bowls for individual size tiramisu.
5.
Ingredients: 3 EGGS, WITh yOlKS AND WhITES SEpARATED ½ Cup CASTER SuGAR 250G mASCARpONE (hOmE BRAND WIll DO, NO ElITISm hERE) 2 CupS hOT BlACK COFFEE (INSTANT WIll DO) A ShOT OF KAhluA (ThOuGh I OmIT ThIS uSuAlly) 200G pACK OF lADy FINGERS/ SAvOIARDI BISCuITS 1 TABlESpOON OF COCOA pOWDER TO DuST yOuR TIRAmISu
4. Then, grab the bowl with the beaten egg whites and add half of the cream mixture into it. Gently fold through and continue adding the re-maining cream mixture until the whole thing is just combined. Set it aside in the fridge.
Dust the top of the tiramisu with cocoa powder by sifting it over. Or, just cover the tiramisu and put it in the fridge for at least 4 hours, and dust it with cocoa powder when 9.serving.
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6. Dip the lady finger biscuits in the hot coffee and arrange them to cover the entire base of the dish, in forming the first layer of your 7.tiramisu.
Spread a generous amount of the cream and egg white mixture over the soggy biscuits, then repeat in dipping more biscuits in hot coffee and layering them over. Spread with remaining cream. I recommend that your tiramisu has at least two layers of biscuit and 8.cream.
Eat a slice delicately with a dessert 10.fork.
Resort to gluttonous instinct the fridge’s automatic light glowers on at your 2am
30 CROSSWORD ACROSS 1.IT’S pOlICE, OpEN up! 4.ONE OF ThE hIlARIAN EDITORS (ThE hOT TEST ONE) 7.IT hAS TWO lImBS 9.A SupERhERO lAWyER (lITERAlly) 10. my FAvOuRITE COlOuR 13.SNAIl IN A BOTTlE vIBES 14.RIp OuR vAlIANT lIGGy hElpDESK hERO 2.DDOWNON’T lIE. DO yOu REAlly DO ThESE? 3.ADElAIDE uNIvERSITy uNION BuT mAKE IT 5.ANAuGhTy SpOOKy hOlIDAy COmING up 6. pAINTERS, mONEy mAKERS, SmOOTh TAlKERS AND pEOplE WhO lIKE NumBERS WAlK INTO A ROOm 8.EvERy lAWyER’S vICE 11.ThE FuNNy GuyS WITh ThE WIGS WhO mAKE BIG DECISIONS ThAT WE hAvE TO READ 12.SOmEThING ThAT WE NEED, BuT DON’T GET ENOuGh OF
CHAI LATTE WITH CINNAMON, SOLID 9/10 Perfect, foamy, cinnamon was a nice touch. It was right after the last foundations lecture, so we were feeling extra accomplished about making it through that…questionable…expe rience.
EDITOR’S NOTE:
Stomping Ground (Nexus 10) ICED CHAI, 8.5/10 Very good chai. It made me feel better before going to a new seminar. I think oat milk would have made it a 9. There were three other people in the whole place so I would recommend it as a productive study space (if you’re into that sort of thing…).
It was 12 degrees outside, and I had a 9am seminar. This chai made that 9am seminar soooo worth it. All my friends got coffee, but I got chai, and so even though I hadn’t done the seminar prep I still felt better than them. WE AT ThE hIlARIAN muST DISAGREE WITh JENNIE AND NAvAh ABOuT ThIS ONE- FOR uS, mIChEllE AND ST RAlph’S ARE AlWAyS 10/10. Nourish On Campus (Ingkarni Wardli)
Fantastic but pricey $$$ ($7) A Pot Called Kettle (Uni SA East Campus) ICED CHAI, 7/10
St. Ralph’s (You know where)
CHAI LATTE 8/10
32 A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO A LAWYER’S PERFECT CHAI JENNIFER LAMB AND NAVAH HEIDARI HI, WE LIKE CHAI, AND SO SHOULD YOU. JUST IMAGINE, YOU’VE JUST COME OUT OF A WEEK 5 LECTURE, YOU’RE CONSIDERING DROPPING OUT, SO YOU GO SIT IN THE LIGGY FOYER TO CONTEMPLATE YOUR DECISIONS. WHAT MIGHT MAKE IT EASIER TO CONTEMPLATE DROPPING OUT? A CHAI. HERE ARE THE BEST PLACES (AND SOME TERRIBLE PLACES) TO GET YOUR CHAI WHILE CONSIDERING A DIFFERENT CAREER PATH. WHY SHOULD YOU BELIEVE US: 1. Why would we lie to you? 2. We did this instead of our assignments,so you know its quality. 3. Chai is the new iced coffee.
Grind and Press (Hub) SMALL ICED CHAI, 8/10
I know it’s traitorous to go to UniSA but we’re just trying to give you a variety of choices. And who am I to say that you, reader, aren’t from UniSA yourself? The chai was fine, but the vibes were weird; it’s like they knew I was an imposter. Try this chai at your own risk.
Just a really good chai. No further comments.
Extremely average, not sure what I was expecting. Lukewarm, too sweet, and yet not enough chai flavour. My advice, don’t depend on this to get through your PPL lecture :/ Holy addiction (Hub) CHAI LATTE, 6/10
CHAI LATTE, 9
Lockwood General CHAI LATTE 10/10 Never had a better chai in my life. Seriously could not fault it, almost better than torts.
The top and the bottom was a 5 because no one likes grainy chai. The middle was a solid 7. Honestly, it was like drinking three different chais at once. I felt very sad that I didn’t have a keep cup and a stamp card because everyone else did, but next time I’ll be prepared.
33 Hungry Jacks (Rundle Street) CHAI LATTE (6.5/10)
Very tasty for a rainy day, plus one point for 10% off with law school local. Only sad part is my card declined the first time (because I spend all my time reading my ppl textbook instead of working) and the lady didn’t put the discount on the second time, so I ended up paying full price because I was too scared to say anything.
Surreal Eats (The Parade, Norwood)
Bit sweet but still good. The guy on the till was lovely, so keep that in mind. This is a great place to get absolutely no work done, perfect for contemplating changing your degree. Hubba hubba hummus (Scott theatre)
Honestly, this chai was amazing, rivals Nour ish’s Chai type of amazing. But, minus 0.5 because the lady was not very nice and it was full of med students which was scary. How do I know they were Med students you might ask? Well because they were in my tutorial for my elective (which is med related for some god awful reason) and they all knew what was going on, while I knew nothing.
Surprisingly near perfect ratio of chai powder and milk, just too much ice. A sweeter but less spiced chai option. Argo on the parade (...on the parade)
Community (Lot Fourteen)
CHAI LATTE 8.5/10
Matin’s Place, (South Tce) CHAI LATTE, 8.5/10 Very nice, could be a little more spiced and hotter. No one likes a lukewarm chai.
Larry and Lad (Grenfell St) ICED CHAI, 2/10
Grainy and incredibly disappointing. We had just come back from unsuccessful law ball shopping, so we desperately needed a pick me up, but that didn’t happen, obviously. Our friends also immediately made fun of us for going here so maybe be cautious?
CHAI LATTE, 8/10
Maccas Trinity Gardens ICED CHAI, 8.5/10
CHAI LATTE, 6/10
My Cousin Vinny strikes a distinctly different tone. First of all, it’s a comedy. Second of all, it’s a cultural clash. While A Few Good Men can feel a little WASP-y at times, with the notable exceptions of some key black characters like Dawson, Judge Randolph, and an early Cuba Gooding Jr. performance as a Marine, My Cousin Vinny is unashamedly Ital 34
A FEW GOOD MY COUSINS VINNY: HOW 1992 REDEFINED THE CINEMATIC COURTOOM WILL BRODERICK
In the past, years which end in the number 2 have traditionally produced good legal movies. 1962 was the year of To Kill a Mockingbird. 1982 was the year of The Verdict. But in one specific ‘2’ year, 1992, we had not one, but two legal movies that redefined the genre. These were A Few Good Men and My Cousin Vinny, released mere months apart from each other. You might not have seen these movies, or even heard of them, but chances are, you would have experienced the way they have infused themselves into the legal culture and popular consciousness. ‘You can’t handle the truth’ is the oft-quoted line uttered by Jack Nichol son’s Col. Nathan R. Jessup (no the mooting competition isn’t named after him, I checked) as he faces off against Tom Cruise’s Lt. (jg) Daniel Kaffee in the climactic courtroom scene of A Few Good Men. Whenever someone mentions a ‘Buick Skylark’ in a Brooklynese accent, they’re quoting Marisa Tomei’s Mona Lisa Vito in the climatic courtroom scene of My Cousin Vinny. In the case of the latter, Tomei’s Oscar-winning role was so pervasive that decades later, Margot Robbie looked to her characterisation for inspiration when de ciding how to voice Harley Quinn1 (and let’s be real, Robbie’s character Naomi Lapaglia in The Wolf of Wall Street sounds exactly the same as well).
For those of you who haven’t seen one or both of these movies, here is a quick summary of each. A Few Good Men follows Lt. (jg) Daniel Kaffee, a brash, plea-bargaining attorney fresh out of law school who has joined the Navy and the Judge Advocate General (JAG) Corps in Washington, DC. He is assigned a murder case concerning a young Marine stationed at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base (‘Gitmo’), PFC William T. Santiago. Santiago seemingly had a poisoned rag stuffed down his throat by other Marines Harold Dawson and Louden Downey. Dawson and Downey’s act is believed to be an example of a hazing ritual for sub-standard marines known as a ‘Code Red’. Along with Downey’s attorney, Lt. Cmdr. JoAnne Galloway (Demi Moore) and Lt. Sam Weinberg (Kevin Pollak), they realise that there is much more to the case than is at first apparent. They have to go against not only the classic and amiable ‘company man’ prosecutor Jack Ross (Kevin Bacon), but also the US military establishment personified by the highly-decorated Col. Jessup and the chill-inducing Lt. Jonathan Kendrick (Kiefer Sutherland). What follows is some of the best courtroom drama around and an unimpeachable last twenty minutes that could inspire even the most cynical student to pursue a career in military law.
So what sets these two movies apart? It’s simple really. A Few Good Men is arguably the greatest example of the fantasy of law. And My Cousin Vinny is arguably the most accurate representa tion of the reality of law. Yeah, I know the later claim is a bold one. But don’t take my word for it. Take that of the US Appeals Court Justice Richard Posner, who called it ‘particularly rich in practice tips’2. Hell, even notori ous constitutional originalist Justice Antonin Scalia, in a real US Supreme Court case, tried to use My Cousin Vinny as an example of a client being able to choose their own lawyer3. In a broader sense, the American Bar Association ranked My Cousin Vinny at number 3 of the ’25 Greatest Legal Movies’, only surmounted by near-universally regarded classics like 12 Angry Men and To Kill a Mockingbird4. It was John Marshall Law School Professor Albert Bernabe who encapsulated the movie’s ethos best; ‘Vinny is terrible in things we do teach in law school, but very good at the things we Movingdon’t’.
on to A Few Good Men, it’s less about the law and more about the, well, vibe. Kaffee, Galloway, and Weinberg (did they 35
ian-American. It follows the travails of two college students, Bill Gambini (Ralph Macchio of Karate Kid and Cobra Kai fame) and his best mate Stan Rothenstein (Mitchell Whitfield) as they take a road trip across the Deep South to attend college at UCLA. They stop at a servo in backwoods Alabama and Bill accidently shoplifts, after which he and Stan are arrested. It was only at that point, and after much dilly-dallying, that they find out that rather than being arrested for shoplifting, they are being arrested for murder!
Vinny is a leatherjacket wearing, rough-around-the-edges recent graduate from the Brooklyn College of Law, going up against a scion of an old Alabama legal family and a hostile judge who went to Yale Law School. With his fiancée Mona Lisa Vito, the two of them attempt to concoct a seemingly impossible defence in order to save Bill and Stan from the gravest sentence to which Alabama law adheres: the death penalty.
This is because someone had robbed the servo and shot the clerk not five minutes after Bill and Stan had left. With a deeply prejudiced Alabama legal system stacked against them, and no money for legal counsel, Bill and Stan turn to the only person they can: Bill’s cousin, Vincent LaGuardia ‘Vinny’ Gambini (Joe Pesci, best known from his roles in Goodfellas and Home Alone in 1990).
A Few Good Men’s ‘villains’ are not cookie-cutter monsters of the military-industrial complex. Kendrick, while awful (and acknowl edged as much by Jessup), is a product of his environment and the toxic culture of the United States Marine Corps, particularly at Gitmo. And Jessup, well, he has a point. It’s a warped point, but a point nonetheless. The best villains believe that they’re the hero. And Jessup fits this mould perfectly. He believes Santiago needs to be trained up because a sub standard Marine would ‘put lives in danger’. In a perverse sense, Jessup values human life, or at least American human life, more than anything else. Like Colonel Saito in Bridge on the River Kwai, he abides by a soldier’s code to the letter. In fact, weirdly enough, Jessup almost believes in the greater good. There’s a philosophy thesis in there somewhere. As we mark the thirtieth anniversaries of these movies, it is worth reflecting on them, especially given how many people they inspired to pursue careers in the law. We may be in the midst of a resurgence in the courtroom drama, with films such as The Trial of the Chicago Seven, Mangrove, and The United States vs. Billie Holiday, but it is these two that have stood the test of time to become modern legal classics.
36
open a firm after the credits??) each exhibit different strengths and legal archetypes. Kaffee may at first appear brash but his mind is constantly at work trying to problem-solve ways to acquit Dawson and Downey. Galloway is about as determined as they come, with a nearly unparalleled knowledge of the specific vagaries of US military life. Sam Weinberg, like Sam Gamgee in The Lord of The Rings trilogy and Sam Tarly in Game of Thrones, is there to not only support Kaffee and Galloway, but provides some of the best witness and cross-examination prep that I’ve seen depicted on film. So much for ‘having no responsibilities here Furthermorewhatsoever’.
37 the lawyer Everything the modern Liggy Law Student needs to know about their future profession. We’ve compiled content from our wonderful profes sors, have examined some genuine ly bizarre pieces of legislation and looked at the most recent legal news.
By Netra Ramkumar
38 FACESSHAKIRATRIAL THE WORLD’S BELOVED SHAKI RA’S HIPS CERTAINLY DON’T LIE, BUT ACCORDING TO THE CLAIMS OF SPANISH PROSECU TORS, HER TAX RETURNSMIGHT.JUST SHAKIRA, THE RECIPIENT OF THREE GRAMMY AWARDS, SEVEN BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS, SIX GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, AND THE TITLE OF THE TOP-SELLING FEMALE LATIN ARTIST OF ALL TIME FROM FORBES COLOM BIA—AMONG COUNTLESS OTHER ACCOLADES—HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF TAX EVASION.
Shakira maintains that her primary resi dence was located in the Bahamas during the period in question, and that
CELEBRITYsheCASES
Following a 2018 Spanish investigation into Shakira’s financial activities, the singer was charged with tax fraud, with prosecutors alleging that she did not pay €14.5 million (approximately $21 million AUD) worth of taxes in Spain between 2012 and 2014 despite living there with her ex-partner Gerard Piqué and their children during this period. Despite these controversies having per sisted over the past couple of years, they’ve only come to the peak of public interest in the past month. In July 2022, it has been revealed that Shakira rejected a plea deal which was offered to her by Spanish prosecutors, affirming through a statement from her lawyers her confidence in her own innocence. Her argument regards her primary residence from 2012-2014, which remains the crux of this dispute.
The crux of this case, it follows, will hinge on where it is determined that Shakira lived between 2012 and 2014.
Now, Shakira’s recent rejection of the plea deal offered by Spanish prosecutors will mean that this matter will be taken to trial. The singer is fully confident in her own innocence, accusing the prosecutors of “abusive methods” and stating that they are attempting to claim the money which she earned during international promo tions. My personal favourite part of the controversy was a statement from a representative for Shakira who took absolutely no prisoners: “Unfortunately, the Spanish Tax Office, which loses one out of every two lawsuits with its taxpayers, continues to violate [Shakira’s] rights and pursue yet another baseless Nonetheless,case”. in the event that she’s found to have lived in Spain for long enough during this period to be subject to Spanish taxation laws and consequently convicted, prosecutors are seeking an eight-year prison term and a fine of nearly €24 million ($35 AUD).
From here, it’s simply a matter of monitoring the progression of the case, for which a trial date has not yet been set.
I’ve actually gone so far as to study Spanish Law (yes, before you ask, I studied the original Spanish texts—my two high school years of Spanish really came in clutch for this one) to see the rules here, and it’s pretty straightfor ward: Personal income tax in Spain is governed by Law 35/2006, and Article 9 of this law states that a taxpayer’s habitual residence will be deemed to be on Spanish territory when they remain in Spain for over 183 days of the calendar year. In other words, Shakira would be required to pay taxes to the Spanish government if she lived in Spain for over half of the year.
consequently owes no taxes for this period. However, the prosecutor argues that her primary residence was actually a house she purchased in Barcelona despite her official tax residency remaining in the Bahamas on paper.
I WISh I’D KNOWN
1. Dr Beth Nosworthy (Corporate Law, Equity and CLE)
2. Dr Dale Stephens (International Law, IHL and RUMLAE) If I was to go back to the late 1980’s and speak to myself, I would say that “Everythingfollowing: is going to be ok. So, stop being worried about your career and all the immediate concerns about landing a position - it will work out. However, while a law career is very important, it is your family and your friends that will stick with you through good times and bad times – don’t ever forget that or take that for granted. Law will take you on a wonderful adventure (for me it was as a Navy Lawyer) and it is the unexpected and the detours that makes life especially exciting. Make sure that you keep in contact with the friends you made in Law School. You will appreciate being able to share stories and experiences with them as you embark on your professional career and go through life’s various stages…. Oh, and be nice to that International Law Professor –he’s not such a bad bloke after all :-).”
WhAT AT SChOOl Beth Nosworthy, Dale Stephens, Andrew Stewart, Mark Giangaspro, and Bhoomika Trivedi
lAW
“Ask all the questions, think as critically as you can and read as widely as possible –both within the law, and beyond. Look for perspectives other than your own, particularly when you are dealing with new topics or challenging material. Start tasks early – advice I could still do with hearing today – and try to remember that perfectionism is the enemy of progress.”
Balance is everything. Work hard enough and regularly enough to get something worthwhile out of your studies, and to avoid having to put your health at risk in a mad scramble to catch up. But don’t lose sight that being a student is a time to grow up, and expand your horizons, so you need to leave space as well for the social, creative and/or sporting possibilities that university life can offer – because they may not be there later on.
Second,syndrome..be brave enough to ask more questions. I was very shy in law school and afraid of my lecturers. But hey, I am one now, and our job is to educate you, so trust me when I say: ask us whatever you like..
And while it’s important (essential even) to start thinking about laying a foundation for later might expect you to have chosen. You’re more likely to do better at things that engage your interest. Again, you’re only going to be at university for a relatively small portion of your life (unless of course you’re crazy enough to become an academic). So enjoy it while it lasts, and balance careerbuilding with following your passions.”
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Fourth, if the prescribed course textbook doesn’t work for you, try another one. In law school my torts and constitutional law textbooks made no sense to me, so I also used others which did. Alternatives can supplement, but shouldn’t replace, your textbook. There’s nothing wrong with sussing the options.
Finally, I’d tell me not to turn down any opportunities to take a break. Part of study is keeping your mind and body healthy enough to study. Go for that beach run with your mates. Have that cup of coffee in the arvo. Read your books in the park or a café or wherever else you like. Balance is key.” some sort of career, don’t make every decision about what you’re studying turn on how you think it will set you up for future employment. Much of a law degree is compulsory, but in your choice of electives, and perhaps even more so in doing a nonlaw degree as well (something I really wish I could have done), opt for studying what seems interesting to you, not what you think someone looking at your transcript years
“There are a couple of things I’d say to my law school self, and they all deserve brief mention. First, don’t doubt yourself. You’ve earnt your place in a competitive degree and should be proud. Ditch the imposter
3. Professor Andrew Stewart (Contract Law, CLSI and Law of Work)
Third, moot more. It’s fun, and in practice you are sometimes starved of opportunities to be an advocate in courts or tribunals. If law school offers the chance, take it.t.
4. Dr Mark Giancaspro (Commercial Transactions, Sports Law, CLSI)
“The experience I had as a law student was far removed from anything experienced at ALS today. Different era, different country, very, very different assessment (an entire degree hinging on eight 3-hour closed book exams taken over a single week – while wearing tightly controlled clothing that might today suggest some form of cosplay). But there are still some pieces of advice that might retain their applicability in 2022. I’ll pass over the obvious (“Drink less beer”, “Learn to play the guitar properly, not just fast”), and also the most useful advice I actually did receive from an upper-year student (“Don’t do family law, it’s too depressing”), and settle on these pearls of acquired wisdom. Noting that they’re particularly aimed at someone going to uni in their teens, as I did, not graduate or mature age students.
42 HOW TO DRESS FOR THE PERFECT JOB INTERVIEW
WARNING: This constant stream of interviews does not make up for becoming a social outcast in the Ligertwood, the loneliness of being hated by every other law student and the sneers you will get from constantly showing up to University wearing a suit.
Have a big interview coming up? Want to make sure you secure that clerkship? Just want a few tips and tricks so you can update your wardrobe and be prepared for any moment? We’ve complied a list of some tried and tested methods to get your interviewers excited about your employment
Why this works: As you suit up for your tenth interview of the month and second of the day, you look in the mirror and tell yourself- ‘I’m awesome’. You’ve already got a clerkship and grad position lined up, but you go to other interviews to sim ply boost your ego. In this outfit, interviewers take one look at you and go ‘wow, you’re hired’.
KUSH GOYAL AND BELLE WATTS
What to wear: A freshly drycleaned and nicely pressed suit (navy/grey/black)
Style 1: “I’ve got this”
Style 2: Casual What to wear: T-shirt, jeans, sneakers (maybe your RMs if it’s a prestigious law firm).
Why this works: Have you ever wondered how to show inter viewers that you’re laid back, easy to work with, and can fit any firm’s so called ‘culture’? This outfit is the quick fix. It shows adaptability, and an ability to change depending on various situations. Bring a jacket so that you’ve got a few more options if you need to dress your outfit up or down.
What to wear: Tattered dinner suit, very tight. Rub some tea/coffee/dirt on the shirt to give it that old feel. Why this works: If your legal credentials won’t hold up to the competition, you can always play upon your interviewer’s heart strings. This outfit screams ‘I need a job or else I will starve to death’. For extra effect, make up a sob story regarding the emotional impact of getting a job at a law firm and becoming a corporate slave. Nothing like a charity case to make them feel good about themselves, right?
What to wear: Absolutely nothing Why this works: Wearing nothing may be the be st thing to wear to an interview. Think about it. You show confidence in yourself. You’re asserting dominance over the interviewers, putting them on the back foot. You’re showing them that you have the discipline to work on yourself and the physical resilience to withstand the elements. And most of all, they will not forget you.
WARNING: You may get arrested for public indecency.
Editor’s Note: Whilst we wanted to include pictures of naked peo ple here, we could not slip them past the censorship board #whatfreemedia?
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What to wear: Trackies, pyjamas, an oodie
Why this works: There’s nothing better than feeling comfortable when in a nervous situation. What better way to feel easy in your own skin than by wearing something fuzzy and warm? Cross your fingers that your interview is over zoom and then your attire will be entirely appropriate. If it’s not over zoom, then wearing what makes YOU feel comfortable will show the firm that you’re not afraid to stand up for what you believe in and that they can take that confidence and use it to their advantage.
Style 5: Extreme confidence
Style 4: Desperation
Style 3: Comfortable
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Remember the same-sex marriage vote in 2017? Lots of Australians cared deeply about that vote, regardless of who they loved or whether they wanted to get married. Many of us valued the chance to have a say about the values of our community.
Almost 400 years ago, the poet John Donne wrote that ‘No man is an island’: ‘Each man’s death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind.’ Channelling Donne (albeit in gender-neutral language), Anthony Albanese’s speech to this year’s Garma festival argued: ‘We are all diminished when First Nations people are denied their right to a happy and fulfilling life, denied the chance to play a full part in the life of our country. We are all diminished, we are all involved.’6
4 To quote Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan. 5 In case you’ve forgotten: https://fromtheheart.com.au/what-is-a-voice-to-parliament/.
6 Anthony Albanese, ‘Address to the Garma Festival’ (Speech, Garma Festival, 30 July 2022), available at ma-re-voice-to-parliament-july-30-2022/>.<https://newmatilda.com/2022/07/31/transcript-anthony-albaneses-speech-to-gar
First Nations Voice: Why you should care and what you should do ANNA OLIJNIK ( SENIOR LECTURER
I’m not going to tell you what the Voice is (if you’ve studied Australian Constitutional Law, you should know).5 Nor am I going to tell you why the Voice is a brilliant proposal for symbolic and practical change that builds on the strengths of Australia’s existing legal institutions (although I think it is).
Instead, I want to tell you why you should care, regardless of whether you support a First Nations Voice.
SCHOOL.)
The AND DIRECTOR OF LAW
45
You’ve heard of it. The First Nations Voice. The Uluru Statement. You heard about it in the first 30 seconds of Anthony Albanese’s victory speech on election night. If you’ve done PPL or Australian Constitutional Law, you definitely heard about it. But perhaps you’re not sure why you should care. Or perhaps you really care but you’re not sure what you can do about it. This article is for you. This article is especially for you4 if you are not a First Nations person. I think non-First Nations peo ple who are part of the Australian community and who have some legal education (people like me and, maybe, you) have a responsibility to engage with the issues surrounding the First Nations Voice. Why should you care?
THE PUBLIC LAW AND POLICY RESEARCH UNIT, ADELAIDE
1.This is about all of us. A constitutionally enshrined First Nations Voice would be an act of recognition of the place of Aus tralia’s First Nations in Australia. It would also add to Australia’s institutions of government. As such, this proposed change affects everyone within the Australian community.
Do you remember the last time our Constitution changed?4 I don’t, because I wasn’t yet alive. Do you remember the last time we even had an unsuccessful referendum?5 I do, but I wasn’t old enough to vote.
6 If you don’t agree, you are wrong.
Consider these points:
The same Megan Davis who read out the Uluru Statement in public for the first time? Megan Davis, the Commissioner on the Australian Rugby League Commission? The first Indigenous Australian woman to be elected to a United Nations body? Yep.
1. The Uluru Statement is explicitly framed as an invitation to all Australians: the authors invite us all ‘to walk with us in a movement of the Australian people to a better future.’ The Statement was the culmination of a remarkable deliberative process by First Nations people about the preferred form of constitutional recognition. To engage with the prospect of a First Nations Voice is to heed the Uluru Statement’s call.
5 1999 votes on the republic and preamble.
Megan Davis, ‘A First Nations Voice, Constitutional Law Reform, and the Responsibility of Lawyers’, AUSPUBLAW (Blog Post, 26 May 2022) tions-voice-constitutional-law-reform-and-the-responsibility-of-lawyers.https://www.auspublaw.org/blog/2022/05/a-first-na 46
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2.Referendums are exciting.
If you have studied Australian Constitutional Law, you will definitely understand that the Constitu tion is exciting.6 The prospect of a change to the text, or even just a referendum, is wildly exciting.
3.You have a special responsibility. If you are reading this, you probably have some legal education. Megan Davis7 has explained why lawyers are important in referendum campaigns: ‘A referendum is all about the law, the highest law in the land. Many Australians are not fluent in public law, or, indeed, have any interest in the law. And so they turn to experts: lawyers.’ 8 Your education gives you the privilege of understanding technical concepts that most people do not know about. With this comes the responsibility of communicating those concepts to people who need to know about them. What can you do?
If you are continuing to read, I shall assume you care about the First Nations Voice; and that you have some legal education. How can you use your legal education, between now and the referendum, to contribute to the debate?
4
A referendum on the First Nations Voice would be very different from the same-sex marriage vote. But both votes are, I think, a chance for us to say who we are. A vote in a referendum about the Voice will be a vote for the kind of country you want to live in.
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First, I want to address any non-Indigenous readers for a moment. You may feel some hesitation about stepping into this area of conversation. What right do you have to speak about issues affecting First Nations? Will you just be writing another chapter in the long, catastrophic history of well-mean ing colonisers talking about First Nations without adequate knowledge, care, or forethought?
In 1977, three amendments were successful, relating to the retirement age of judges, casual Senate vacancies, and the right of Territorians to vote in referendums. What an adrenaline rush!
2.
4. Dylan Lino, a non-Indigenous academic with a substantial body of work on Indigenous constitutional recognition, argues that non-Indigenous people have two duties in these debates. The first duty is to ‘create space for Indigenous voices and to actually listen to what they have to say.’ The second duty is ‘to take responsibility for our own law.’ Lino argues: ‘We have to take responsibility for the fact that, from the moment of invasion through to the present, our law has been the basis for Indigenous dispossession and disempowerment.’
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With that in mind, here’s two things you – a law student – can do, starting today.
Talk to people. Having informed yourself, you are now in a position to talk to people in your sphere of influence. Your sporting club, church group, fellow dog walkers. Your friends, your parents. You can correct misin formation (explaining, for example, why the Voice would not be a ‘third chamber’ of Parliament). You can explain the processes that led to the proposal. You can discuss the appropriate level of detail to include in a constitutional amendment. These are matters about which you, as a law student, can speak with authority.
2. The Constitution can only be changed by a majority vote in favour. Most Australians are not Indigenous. Therefore, the success or failure of the Voice referendum will depend on the votes of non-Indigenous Australians.
3. As a legally educated person, you have a responsibility to use your education to inform non-legally educated people about legal aspects of the referendum (see above).
Law students around Australia are doing lots of things to educate people about the Voice. If you want to be kept in the loop, email me (anna.olijnyk@adelaide.edu.au) to indicate your interest. It’s an exciting time for constitutional law nerds.
1. Inform yourself. Under stand the nature and purpose of the First Nations Voice. How would it interact with existing institutions? What is the difference between a constitutionally enshrined and a legislated Voice? How much detail will be in the Constitution and how much will be left to legislation? Our legal education equips us to ask and answer questions such as these.
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