You Can't Wait Till You Hear About This!

Hello, my dear QUIBBLERers and QUIBBLERettes! It is with extreme happiness that I finally resume this section – after much fighting and arguing with the editors! It is my impression that they are afraid of what might come to light if I get the space I deserve, because they know that I have one duty and that is with the truth and bringing it to light. I dedicate my life to bringing to you the most accurate and unbiased news on what’s going on in our surroundings. Unfortunately this is a virtue that scares many, and so ever since I helped found this magazine, I have been paid with ingratitude and have been silenced. But no more! Just like that quote from that dear poet Edwar Allan Poe that reads “Quoth the raven / ‘Not this anymore!’” Now the time to bring true news has come, so fear not, my dear reader! However, although it is with great joy that I resume this section, I have to say that it is also with a heavy heart that I take on the duty I have set upon myself. The circumstances that have made my return necessary are alarming! We have appalling headlines ahead of us, I’m afraid. Looks like the world –Wizarding or not– is simply upside down!

–Your dear Geraldine Julienne

BRAINWASHING hazard: Iguana wants to END linguistic diversity!

Vicious new species of iguana has acquired sentience and is on the rise in THE QUIBBLER. Oh what are they doing with our once so great magazine! Long past are the days in which I was Editor in Chief of THE QUIBBLER and it saw its prime time, but sadly I had to take a leave of absence for personal reasons and things have clearly gotten out of hand – even iguanas can publish here! That’s just plain outrageous, if you ask me. And what’s more, this newly sentient being has some evil plans on its mind. It wants to cast a SPELL on us to BRAINWASH us and end all linguistic diversity, claiming that having natural languages is an issue to minorities and so, we should abolish all natural languages and adopt one single made up language created by a muggle! I am besides myself wondering how no one has informed a Law Enforcement Agent yet to take this delinquent beast to the Zoo Jail.

Well, these teens nowadays love a quirky come-up so I am really afraid that maybe this Esperando language might spark their interest and, next thing we know, we have a cultist youngsters problem to worry about. But what I really don’t get is the name – I mean, if you mean to start a cult to destroy an innocent community, please at least have some style and think of a proper name! As you already know, I’m a specialist in romance languages and can tell you that the word esperando comes from Castellano (a fancy name for Spanish), a language spoken in Castellana (a fancy word for Spain, of course), and it means “waiting.” I wonder what they are waiting for. I certainly won’t wait for them to strike and am on my way to alert the authorities about this new terrorist threat, and I advise you to do the same, dear Quibblerers and Quibblerettes.

–Your dear Gealdine Julienne

Travel notice: I’m on my way to a FIELD RESEARCH; a story soon to be told right here, in THE QUIBBLER.

I’m about to embark on a journey, my dear Quibblerers and Quibblerettes! And a journey much, much more tremendous and dangerous than all that nonsense about the center of the earth about which that iguana has been writing lately – or so I’ve heard. Honestly, where does it end with this senseless beast?! Well, my journey will be to a much more interesting place and for a much more important purpose – which is to discover the TRUE – the REAL – the AUTHENTIC – origin of THE QUIBBLER.

Where does it come from? Where did it originate? Who created it? Or did it just happen to pop into existence like many believe? Was there a long forgotten time before THE QUIBBLER existed? Many claim so… many deny so–. And so, if no one is courageous enough to go check the facts, I’ll take upon myself to do it. Some say I’m crazy; Yes, I say, crazy about bringing the truth to light. And so I say my farewell for now, my dear QUIBBLERers and QUIBBLERettes and I ask you to wish me luck.

–Your dear Gealdine Julienne