The Quibbler Summer 2020 by Hogwarts Quibbler

Editor-In-Chief & Divination Dept Head Starflashfairy Gryffindor Managing Editor NDoraTonks Hufflepuff Managing Editor L-ily Ravenclaw Managing Editor Eldis_ Slytherin Managing Editor Im_Finally_Free Production Manager KackelDackel Production Assistants Team-Hufflepuff Anne_Seelman Permagrinfalcon Web-Wizard Oomps62 Archives wiksry Payroll Marx0r Art Dept Head SinsationalDoom Castles & Burrows Dept Head blxckfire

Classifieds L-ily Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies Dept Head Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts Dept Head VinumCupio Divination Starflashfairy Education Dept Head Starboost3 Entertainment Dept Head silvertail8 Fashion Dept Head meddleofmycause Magical Plants & Creatures Dept Head bubbasaurus News & Features Dept Head Enovara Sports Dept Head LordPugtato Travel Dept Head mrsvanchamarch

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ytodpdjebaotjeo The Editors Deskq

k s e D ’s r o t i d E e h T FROM STARFLASH THE DESK OF MADAM Summer 2020 Greetings, dear readers!

all political , we had issued a ban on US the in s die ge tra t en to make In light of the rec se we didn’t want anyone cau be s thi did We . ire t that in issuing this submissions, even sat wever, it’s been pointed ou Ho nt. me ve mo M BL ard. A voice light of the voice that needed to be he nt rta po im an ing nc sile ut it ban, we’re also lp, and we inadvertently sh he for t ou ing ch rea en be that has sorry for this. down. And we are deeply ibbler this mistake, we at the Qu Now that we are aware of rship. w is not the time for censo want you to know that no ong, str nd stand together, we sta We will not be silent. We victhe e Floyd. We stand with all and we stand with Georg people has been done to them by tims of the injustice that ne by a do ice and protect. The injust who were meant to ser ve se cries for help. society that has ignored tho Stand up, speak out, ence. Your voice matters. fer dif a ke ma can we r, Togethe il and stay safe. and stay strong! Keep it civ bsites: ase visit the following we For more infor mation, ple com/ 19-amerihttps://blacklivesmatter. 019/08/14/magazine/16 /2 ive act ter /in om s.c me https://www.nyti ca-slavery.html ism org/videos/systemic-rac https://www.raceforward. the same, and worth Every human life is worth ? we n’t are n, ma hu all e “We’r lebolt saving.” -- Kingsley Shack you! May Fortune smile upon r-in-Chief

~Madam Starflash, Edito

BLACK CAN LIVES I MATTER HOW HELP? DONATE

BLACK LIVES MATTER NAACP Legal DefenseLIVES Fund BLACK MATTER www.naacpldf.org BLACK LIVES MATTER Campaign Zero www.joincampaignzero.org BLACK LIVES MATTER HELP PROTESTORS MAKE BAIL: bailfunds.github.io BLACK LIVES MATTER minnesotafreedomfund.org OFFICIAL GEORGE FLOYD MEMORIALMATTER FUND BLACK LIVES www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd BLACK LIVES MATTER How to Financially Help BLM with NO MONEY/Leaving Your House: BLACK LIVES MATTER youtu.be/bCgLa25fDHM SUPPORT BLACK OWNED BUSINESSESMATTER BLACK LIVES www.afrobizworld.com BLACK LIVES MATTER SIGN A PETITION JUSTICE FOR GEORGE FLOYD BLACK LIVES MATTER www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd-2 www.change.org/p/federal-bureau-of-investigation-justice-for-george-floyd BLACK LIVES MATTER www.change.org/p/minneapolis-police-department-arrest-derblacklivesmatter.com

ek-chauvin-for-the-murder-of-george-floyd

BLACK LIVES MATTER JUSTICE FOR AHMAUD ARBERY www.change.org/p/district-attorney-tom-durden-justice-for-ahBLACK LIVES MATTER maud-arbery-i-run-with-maud BLACK LIVES MATTER JUSTICE FOR EMERALD BLACK www.change.org/p/san-leandro-police-deartment-justice-for-emerald-black BLACK LIVES MATTER JUSTICE FOR TONY MCDADE BLACK LIVES MATTER www.change.org/p/justice-for-tony-mcdade JUSTICE FOR DAVID LIVES MCATEE BLACK MATTER www.change.org/p/louisville-mayor-greg-fischer-justice-for-david-mcatee BLACK LIVES MATTER JUSTICE FOR ELIJAH MCCLAIN https://www.change.org/p/adams-county-district-attorney-justiceBLACK LIVES MATTER for-elijah-mcclain-48a81830-f891-4b04-ba28-c2625b916b96 BLACK LIVES MATTER JUSTICE FOR BREONNA TAYLOR https://justiceforbreonna.org/ BLACK LIVES MATTER EDUCATE AND SPREAD AWARENESS Have a conversation with friends. Self Reflect. Protest. Use your BLACK LIVES MATTER voice/social media to share art and literature from black creators. PLEASE NOTE BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER

This is not a full list of every resource out there. Many more comprehensive lists can be found around the web. This is just to offer a starting point. Click Here for Additional Resources Adapted from a list compiled by u/iSquash

TransCAN livesI matter HOW HELP? Trans lives matter DONATE The Trevor Project Trans lives matter www.thetrevorproject.org Trans lives matter UK Black Pride www.ukblackpride.org.uk Trans lives matter Gendered Intelligence Trans lives matter genderedintelligence.co.uk Trans lives The Marsha P Johnson Institute matter marshap.org Trans lives matter Trans Justice Funding Project Trans lives matter www.transjusticefundingproject.org Trans lives matter CREATE Draw, write, and imagine the wizarding world you want lives matter toTrans see. Trans lives matter TAKE A STAND Don't buy any licensed merchandise. Patronize your favorite Trans lives matter fan creators instead. Purchase books second hand. Support used book stores inTrans stead of the author. lives matter

EXPAND YOUR LIBRARY* Check out these LGBTQ+ Young Adult Novels:

Trans lives matter Trans lives matter Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin Trans lives matter Dreadnought by April Daniels Trans lives matter George by Alex Gino Trans lives matter Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender Trans lives matter Once and Future by Amy Rose Capetta and Cori McCarthy Trans lives matter Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan Trans lives matter Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan Trans lives matter The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall Trans lives The Fascinatorrs by Andrew Eliopulos matter Trans lives PLEASE NOTEmatter This is just the tip of the iceberg. For a wider variety of book Trans lives matter recommendations please see the #ownvoices hashtag on twitter where you will find a multitude of diverse and intersectional literature for matter all ages. Trans lives Trans lives matter *Adapted from 30 LGBTQ YA Books You'll Absolutely Want To Pick Up This Spring by Dahlia Adler

THE QUIBBLER: NO. 34860 JULY 2020 THIS ISSUE OF THE QUIBBLER WAS CREATED, WRITTEN, PRODUCED AND REVIEWED BY THE HOGWARTS STAFF AT /R/THEQUIBBLER. THIS ISSUE FEATURES ARTICLES THAT EXPOSE THE TRUTH. SELLING OVER 1,500,000 COPIES WITH OVER 29,000 DIFFERENT ISSUES, WE ARE THE WIZARDING WORLDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ALTERNATIVE VOICE AND REASON SINCE 1989. WE THANK YOU FOR READING AND PURCHASING OUR SMALL INDEPENDENT NEWS MAGAZINE

Welcome to OUR BRAND NEW issue of the Quibbler. Below is an overview of everything you can find in this All new edition of the Quibbler! We hope you find the experience Both enlightening and entertaining! THE BIGGEST STORIES FROM THE

FRONTPAGE:

48 Rare Rowenalis Lazuli Spotted in Lake District 86 Immutatio: The New Sensational Spell 97 What Bertie Botts Every Flavored Bean Are You? And how you've BEAN living your life wrong.

Behold a beautiful bug.

The invocation sensation that's sweeping the nation!

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BREAKING NEWS:

jfjsdjwfksfkljklwenjkfnzwdiewghiorndgknakflenifnsdnakhwroiuwehdnmd, Castles and Burrows. .............................. 10

magical plants

Crafts, Brews, and Hobbies. ................... 15

News and Features.................................. 89

Dark Arts................................................. 22

Sports. ...................................................... 97

Divination................................................ 28

Travel..................................................... 108

Education. ............................................... 32

Horoscopes. ........................................... 124

entertainment......................................... 40

Classifieds.............................................. 125

fashion...................................................... 70

Credits. .................................................. 128

STAFF:

& Creatures.................... 76

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Editor-In-Chief: Starflashfairy Managing Editors: Im_Finally_Free, L-ily, NDoraTonks, Eldis_ Administration: Marx0r, Oomps62, Wiksry Layout and Design: KackelDackel, Team-Hufflepuff, Anne_ Seelman, Permagrinfalcon Art: Sinsational Doom Castles & Burrows: blxckfire Classifieds: L-ily Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies: Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts: VinumCupio Divination: Starflashfairy Education: Starboost3 Entertainment: myoglobinalternative Fashion: Siriuslywinchester Magical Plants & Creatures: Ryan814 News & Features: Rysler Sports: lordpugtato Travel: mrsvanchamarch Contributors: _sahmwife_, Anne_seelmann, Auntieabra , B, BirdmanDodd, Blxckfire, Cynicforever7, DracoMalfoyTrash, Dries23, Eldis_, ICantReachTheOctave, Im_Finally_ Free, Jace2710, Jamsin_11, KackelDackel, LolaRambo, MakerTinkerBakerEtc, Meepster27 , Milomi10, Penelopeautumn, PurpleCloaker, Raspberry_ cordelia, RedheadPeregrine, Res30stupid, Rhia1, Rottweiler_Lover3047, Silvertail8, SimpLEE_me, SinsationalDoom, SiriuslyLoki731, Smarttalkingthings, Starflashfairy, StockParfait, The_Architect_Nurse, TheSCP_3008, Tipsytippett, V391pegasi, XanCanStand, Yellowroseredd

QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

The House on Dragon Tooth Drive

t stands, stark against the bright summer sky, slightly ominous in its stature but also oddly warming in its solidity. There have been legends about this house (really more of a mansion) since the dawn of time; legends regarding its convoluted and murky past. Some say that the house was once owned by a murderer who lured their unsuspecting victims into the basement and performed unthinkable acts upon their persons. Others say that the master of the house died in a bloody duel against a foe with no honor and violently haunts the place still. This is a story of how the house's legend came to be and why, for millennia now, it has stood untouched and undisturbed in its plot on Dragon Teeth Drive. As with all good stories, it begins with a bell and a ring. 10

RING! "Hello? Yes, this is she. No, there's no need to shout. Yes, I understand. Yes, thank you for calling," a gloved hand replaces the Muggle device back on its hook. The owner of the glove raises an eyebrow and holds out their hand. Maggie reluctantly takes off the gloves and gives them back with a pout. "Maggie, you know you can go buy your own gloves don't you?" Although her tone is serious, it's also tainted by the smallest of smiles that tug at the corners of her lips. "I could but then you'd have nothing to complain

about, dearest sister," Maggie grins broadly at her older sister, daring her to deny it. "As if you don't do a thousand things every day that brings me ire," Elaine rolls her eyes at Maggie's petulance but cannot bring herself to give up the game. Laughing, the two sisters link arms and make their way through town and towards their new home. The house stands much as it does now but with windows

flung wide open to tempt in a stray summer breeze, and house elves bustling about doing the washing, cooking lunch, and generally ensuring that the house remains spotless. The sisters pay them little mind as they burst through the front doors, still laughing and bantering. They are so engaged with one another, in fact, that they completely miss a tall man standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Not even a hug for your father?" It's clear that much of the sisters' humor comes from this man with the salt and pepper mustache which hides his own small smile. "Father! You're back!" Maggie lets go of Elaine first and runs to give her father a bear hug.

CASTLES AND BURROWS QUIBBLER "How was your trip? I trust it was fruitful?" Elaine patiently waits for Maggie to let go before going to hug him herself.

After hugging her tightly, their father answers by going over to a large rucksack and bringing out two packages and handing one to each of the girls. "Oh father, you didn't have to," Elaine hides her delight but Maggie, who has no such qualms, eagerly digs into

her package. Soon, there is packaging paper everywhere and the two sisters open their boxes. Maggie squeals in delight at the leather-bound book entitled 'Wandering Spirits and the Places They Wandered'. However, her older sister is puzzled. Elaine's box appears to be completely empty. Frowning a little, their father examines what's left of the package. "I'm sorry E, I could have sworn that there was something in here when I wrapped it. I can't imagine where it might have gone." His furrowed brow is evidence aplenty that he didn't intend to short-change his eldest daughter (not that Elaine would have believed him possible of such blatant favoritism in the first place). 11

QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

"That's alright Father. What was it supposed to be? I'll draw a picture of it instead." Elaine is already pulling out a small sketchbook she carries with her everywhere. "Well when I packaged it, it was a dragon figurine." "Okay, one dragon figurine. I'm sure it hasn't gone far." Elaine put her pencil to the parchment and began to draw. "What do you mean, 'when I packaged it'? Are you expecting it to suddenly change form?" Only Maggie caught the odd wording of her father's sentence.

"So it'll probably show up sometime later where we least expect it. Tell me when you find it E." Hugging his daughter briefly, he kissed Maggie on the top of her head and then wandered off in search of supper. "Well that's creepy and terrifying," Maggie stated matter of factly once she was certain their father was out of earshot.

"It's not that bad, won't it be exciting to see where it turns up next?" Elaine's fingertips were tingling at the possibility of a mystery to solve. Her trepidation, if not her enthusiasm, was appropriate. The next time Their father ruefully explained that he had purchased it they saw the dragon figurine would mark a momenat a magic shop in town owned by a rather peculiar man tous occasion. by the name of Mr. Burke. Mr. Burke had assured him that the dragon piece was completely harmless but had The days bled into weeks and the two girls quickly fora penchant for disappearing and then reappearing in got about the missing dragon figurine. Although Elaine unexpected places. Excited to show his eldest daughter, soon slipped into the habit of doodling small dragons who has a penchant for the odd and the mysterious, on the corners of her notes and other drawings, the their father paid Mr. Burke a sum total of ten pounds existence of the small statue was no more at the front for the figurine. Mr. Burke wrapped it up snuggly and of her mind than the grey in her father's mustache. It handed him the package with a twisted smile on his wasn't until late August that the sisters were forcibly face, bidding him adieu. reminded of the strange incident.

CASTLES AND BURROWS QUIBBLER

The day had been normal - a gentle breeze tickled their necks when they went into town for groceries, a cacophony of bird chirps perked their ears when they returned home - but all of that was about to change. Just before supper, a scream rends the peaceful air and the sisters nearly knock each other over rushing to the source. They found their cook, Cecelia, quaking on the floor of the kitchen. She points a shaking finger at the innocuous-looking dragon figurine on the kitchen counter. She had looked away from her pan for a moment and when she looked back, a devil had loomed in the spot where the dragon statue now sat. Puzzled, Elaine and Maggie examine the statue. It appears to be carved from granite and, no matter their prodding, remains inanimate and unbudgeable. Reassuring Cecelia that everything was going to be alright, Elaine and Maggie went to get their father. When the three of them return to the kitchen, both Cecelia and the statue are gone. They look high and low for their cook but the woman is nowhere to be found. Assuming that she had gone home after her ordeal, the sisters and their father continue to search the house for the dragon (none of them thought it likely that the cook had taken it given her aversion to the statue). They look in cupboards, on shelves, behind couches, and even under beds to no avail. Confused and rather hungry, they reconvene in the kitchen to eat dinner. Munching on their messy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they discuss the events of the day. All of them agree that the sudden appearance and disappearance of the statue is most puzzling but, since they'd all seen the dragon with their own eyes, there is no denying that the cook's line of events is plausible. Deciding to call it a night while they could still drag themselves to bed, the small family trudges upstairs and the household goes dark and quiet. When morning dawns on the front lawn, another scream startles Maggie and her father awake. They rush to Elaine's room, where the piercing cry emanates, and throw open the door. There, sitting in her bed, Elaine is shaking and pale as a sheet. Pointing one trembling hand at the dresser directly across from the bed, Elaine directs their attention again to the granite dragon figurine. Quickly, her father scoops up Elaine's traveling trunk and lobs the figurine into it before locking it firmly. Maggie bounds over to Elaine and gives her a big hug, designed to shrug off any uncomfortable notions. With the traveling trunk tucked securely beneath his arm, their father announced that he was going

back into town to return the gift as it was clearly more trouble than it was worth. Not even bothering to get dressed, he marched down the stairs and straight out their front door, heading down the path to town. It wasn't until he was directly in front of Mr. Burke that he realized his mistake. Having been hassled by Maggie to "at least wear some reasonable footwear", the exhausted man had set the trunk down momentarily to don muggle "flip-flops" before heading out the door. Mr. Burke hadn't seen such a ghastly complexion since the last time he'd sold the dragon figurine and expressed as much while telling the horrified father that he could not buy back what the man did not bring. Leaving the empty traveling trunk on Mr. Burke's counter, Maggie and Elaine's father dashed from the shop and down the road again. Arriving at the front door in a sweaty, red mess, the man rushed right past the cook who had gathered the courage to come to work, the butler who had just finished shining the man's day shoes for his outing, and up the stairs to Elaine's bedroom. Sitting on the dresser where they had found it earlier, the dragon looked upon the two sleeping sisters sinisterly. Deciding right there and then that they could not remain in a house with a demon so persistent, the man woke his daughters and instructed them to pack. "We're going away," is all that he would say for the next three hours to anyone who approached him. At the end of the three hours, Maggie and Elaine's belongings were packed on the carriage, their father had stowed away what little he cared to take with him, and other necessities followed, and the family and butler were on their way to another of their modest estates. After much deliberation and the promise of a raise, the cook brought, in a separate carriage, all of her supplies to the new estate as well. Deciding not to divulge the creepy events that had led to the move, the girls' father successfully sold the property to a less lucky family. It's said that the cursed statue spared Elaine and Maggie because of their strong will and familial affection. Every family who lived in the house thereafter had one tragedy or another befall at least one of their members and the House on Dragon Tooth Drive earned its dark and bloody reputation quickly. Even now, as it sits abandoned on its lot, neighborhood children swear that they see the shadow of a granite dragon looking down upon them from the second-story bedroom.

CRAFTS, BREWS AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER

LETA LESTRANGE’S LETTUCE SOUP A

re you looking for a quick and tasty recipe to enjoy? Or perhaps just yearning to try something new? Then look no further! This recipe was carefully perfected by a team of four wizards (yes, wizards) in order to bring you an unconventional but magical brew delicious served hot or cold! But this is no ordinary soup! Just tell me, dear readers… How many lettuce soups have you seen in your lifetime?? It sounds downright vile, but, when

presented to a group of witches (also known as our girlfriends and colleagues), it was met with positive feedback, such as “Delicious!” and “Wow, I can’t believe you managed to make this without burning the house down!”. If we could make it. So. Can. You! The cooking aspect of this recipe isn’t as challenging as it may appear, but young witches and wizards should be sure to have parental supervision before turning on the stove! We don’t know the exact nutritional

BY DRACOMALFOYTRASH

values of the soup, all we know is that lettuce is a vegetable.

Makes: 4 servings. Brew time: about 35 minutes. Equipment:

• • • • • •

Bowl Measuring cups Stove Knife Blender Pot

• • •

Spoon Something to store it in Wand (optional)

Ingredients: • • • • • •

One (1) cup of chopped onions, scallions, and/or shallots Eight (8) cups of coarsely chopped lettuce leaves, skipping ribs One (1) minced garlic clove Three quarters (¾) cup diced peeled potato Three quarters (¾) teaspoon ground coriander Three quarters (¾) teaspoon of salt

• • •

One quarter (¼) teaspoon ground black pepper Three (3) tablespoons of unsalted butter Three (3) cups of water

Directions:

1. Cook the onions and garlic in 2 tablespoons of butter in a 4 to 5 quart saucepan over moderately low heat, stirring, until softened (around 3 to 5 minutes). 2. Add the potato, lettuce, and water

3. 4.

and bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer, covered, until the potato is very tender (about 10 minutes). Uncover and mix it into a soup-like consistency. From here, you can either serve straight from the pot or pour the soup into a container and place in the refrigerator to serve later. Leta recommends serving Leta Lestrange’s Lettuce Soup alongside a piece of garlic bread, for maximum enjoyment. Bon appetit! 15

QUIBBLER CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES

Alabasterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mug of Never Ending Thirst

A beer stein (Uncommon magical item ), Rare This decorative golden beer stein is adorned with various runes and symbols and other arcane symbols and holds approximately 2 pints of a liquid. A golden lid is on the top and protects the liquid within and the stein always has the sound of sloshing liquid whether it is full or not.

A player may use a command word and conjure 2 pints of liquid such as water, Butterbeer, wine, etc. but may not use it to summon magical liquids or anything to gain a combat advantage. This ability may be used 5 times per day. This item is considered uncommon and has been sighted at various shops within Diagon Alley and in Dumbledoreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office at several points; although, it is believed that his personal stein has more magical properties and many scholars have sought to study it but so far none have had the chance. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Create Water, prestidigitation A simplified formula to create this item is often found in various magical shops and from other enchanters and even a few barkeeps are known to gift these enchanted steins to worthy heroes who frequent their establishments. Required materials: Orichalcum metal, gold, silver, and elder wood tree bark Cost to create: 2000 GP 3rd Level 20 days of time

CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER

How to Make a House Pride Bracelet

by auntieabra

s you all are probably aware, many of us have been stuck inside with not much to do, with a lot of our usual hobbies unattainable. So here is an easy tutorial for making a house bracelet!

These instructions can be easily adapted to any type of bead/string, but the intention is an elastic bracelet with no clasp. For this reason, I don’t suggest any non-elastic material, as that will make it harder to put on.

Materials: • Measuring tape • Elastic Cord • Scissors • Beads of choosing • Clear nail polish or precision point superglue

Similarly, the beads/charms are completely up to you. For this tutorial, I went with my house, and themed it with the idea of “water”. If you are using superglue, be very careful to only put the glue on the

QUIBBLER INSERT

CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER

knot, try not to let it get between the bead and cord.

sionally bring the beaded section to the measuring tape to see how far along you are. For a nice, loose bracelet, you will Instructions: want an additional quarter to half-inch past your measurement. 1. Measure your wrist/ankle, to get an idea 5. When you have reached the desired of how long you need your bracelet to length, tie the first part of a square knot, be. dab with the nail polish or glue, then 2. Measure out the elastic cord, leaving an finish the square knot and dab again. excess of at least three inches on either If using the included picture as a tying end (if your wrist is seven inches, cut guide, you would do step one, then glue, thirteen). The long ends will make it easthen continue on to step three. ier to tie at the end. 6. Allow the glue/nail polish to dry completely before trimming the ends. 3. Lay out the measuring tape on the surface you will work on, so you can check. Congratulations! You can now easily pro4. Start stringing the beads. I generally work from the center out in order to duce elastic bracelets! keep my pattern balanced, but you can put them on however works best. Occa-

The Magic of Muggle

Cooking A

s a Muggle-born, I didn’t grow up aroAs a Muggle-born, I didn’t grow up around domestic magic, and while there is so much in the wizarding world that I now couldn’t live without there is one part of my upbringing that I will never part with: cooking the Muggle way. I wouldn't say that I'm a particularly good cook but I am definitely an enthusiastic one, I love that I can suit it to my every mood. If I'm tired and uninspired I can find an all-in-one recipe that takes minimal effort or thought, if I'm feeling daring there are so many different recipes out there waiting to be tried and if I want to and I’m feeling creative I can just make it up as I go along. It’s also amazing how you can take 3 simple ingredients and transform them into a meal, which is something that fills me with pride. When I look back at my childhood I realised that a lot of my fondest memories took place in the kitchen; be it with my mum learning how to make different kinds pastry, sat with my granny learning how to make the curries she grew up with in India or stealing little tastes of what’s cooking with my cousins, taking it in turns to distract whoever was preparing dinner. I always thought of it as something that helped to define my childhood, something I could use as an adult to fend for myself. Recently I have realised it’s so much more than that. Along with shaping my past, it’s shaping my future. I am the go-to person to ask for help with a recipe amongst some

friends and I have made friends with others simply through our shared enjoyment of cooking. If you had told me back when I was 10 that cooking would end up leading me to a friendship with a 98-year-old lady with whom I exchange letters containing recipes (hers handwritten, mine printed) at least once a week I probably wouldn’t have cared. But these letters have become the highlight of my week. It all started because a friend’s car broke down when they were meant to be dropping shopping to their grandma so I got roped into helping. To make small talk with a lady I didn’t know while I was helping her put away her shopping I simply asked “what are you cooking today?” Five words that lead to a three-hour-long conversation which in turn has lead to an almost 10-year friendship. One that I have treasured and don’t ever want to lose. Especially when I get sent handwritten recipes like this every week: “I know its almost summer, but the weather will be turning next week, so here’s a warming recipe with a summery twist PEA AND SPINACH RISOTTO WITH A CRAB SALSA Serves 4 (6 if served with a side) Ingredients RISOTTO • Oil, (preferable Olive oil) for frying, • 1 Onion, thinly sliced

CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER • • • • • • • • • •

1 bunch Spring onions*, finely sliced 350g Arborio rice 2-3 Garlic cloves, (more if you feel like it) crushed 170ml White wine 1 litre Chicken stock 150g Frozen peas 100g Parmesan, grated, plus extra to serve 1 Lemon, juiced, plus wedges to serve 2 tbsp Creme Fraiche or Double cream Salt and Pepper, to season

THE GREEN SAUCE • 200g Spinach leaves • 150g Peas, defrosted • 60ml Extra-virgin olive oil • 150ml Water CRAB SALSA • ½ Red onion, finely chopped • 200g White crab meat, fresh is preferred though canned also works • 2 Red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped • A handful of flat-leaf parsley, chopped • ½ Lemon, juiced Method Before starting the risotto we’re going to make our vibrant green pea and spinach sauce, for this simply put the spinach, peas, olive oil and the water in your blender or food processor and blitzing until it is a smooth bright sauce. Cooking risotto is a labour of love, it’s not an all-in-one thing. It’s also not something that you can wack on the stove and leave to do its own thing. It’s something that takes time and attention. To begin with, you want to heat a good glug of oil of your chosen oil in a large casserole pan or deep frying pan and gently fry the onion and spring onions over a low heat until almost softened, then add the garlic for about a minute. Turn the heat up to a medium heat and add the rice, this needs to fry until the rice is coated in the oil and turning translucent. At this point pour in all the wine, stirring the whole time, and let it almost fully reduce. Turn the heat back down slightly to a low-medium heat and slowly add the

stock a ladleful at a time, stirring regularly. Only adding the next ladleful once the liquid is almost completely absorbed. Now you can season to taste. Once you have added all the stock and the rice is nearly cooked (this should take about 25-30 minutes), stir in the green sauce. Keep stirring the risotto for a further 10 minutes, then stir in the peas, parmesan, lemon juice and cream. Season again and simmer for 5 minutes or until the peas are cooked and the rice is tender. While the risotto is simmering for the final time mix together all of the crab salsa ingredients. To serve, spoon the risotto into bowls and top with crab salsa and a drizzle of olive oil. Serve with lemon wedges and more grated parmesan, lashings of the stuff. SERVING SUGGESTIONS This risotto pairs well with: • Wines - A classic Pinot Grigio, Soave or Albariño. • Sides - a simple salad of rocket** with olive oil and lemon juice with some grated Parmesan, thinly sliced shallots and nuts if you feel like them scattered on top. Baked asparagus with a little parmesan sprinkled over it for the last couple of minutes and a squeeze of lemon after cooking also pairs quite nicely. Alternatively, you could serve with a nice garlic ciabatta. I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to seeing what you send me. Love Your Cooking Fairy (Extra) Memaw” To stop cooking would be to ignore a part of my past, present and hopefully my future. So magic or not, I’ll always cook the Muggle way because, to me, it is magical enough on its own. NB, For our friends from across the pond. Spring Onions* are called scallions for you and rocket** is called arugula over there.

DARK ARTS QUIBBLER

I tilt my head So does she I cross the room She mirrors me

daeh ym tlit I ehs seod oS moor eht ssorc I em srorrim ehS

We dance like this For an hour or more Just my movements Her mirroring me

siht ekil ecnad eW erom ro ruoh na roF stnemevom ym tsuJ em gnirorrim reH

Our footwork is complex In its simplicity Our movements terse In their fluidity

xelpmoc si krowtoof ruO yticilpmis sti nI esret stnemevom ruO ytidiufl rieht nI

Nothing I do breaks her sway Nothing she does breaks away To me it's a game Until my last step

yaws reh skaerb od I gnihtoN yawa skaerb seod ehs gnihtoN emag a s'ti em oT pets tsal ym litnU

Tired of playing I back away This time the steps Are not the same

gniyalp fo deriT yawa kcab I spets eht emit sihT emas eht ton erA

Off I go Into the dark Up she comes Into the light

og I ffO krad eht otnI semoc ehs pU thgil eht otnI

I am my Boggart My Boggart is me The thing I fear most Just broke step with me

t raggoB ym ma I em si t raggoB yM tsom raef I gniht ehT em htiw pets ekorb tsuJ

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iracles of blue split the inky,

Getting to their feet swiftly, the witch and

flies through the summer breeze,

attempt to stun it. The beams of red light

blotchy night. A dash of ginger strands stuck straight up as though

wizard point their wands at the Grootslang and bounce harmlessly off of the giant snake's

in shock. The crickets chirping in nearby

scales but ricochet and rebound off of the

a moment before resuming their network of

Grootslang's giant maw and their own stunning

rock crevices cease their cacophony for but yelled appreciation. Apart from the other litany of small creatures which roam the

sparse surroundings, only the slight "ploop" of solitary droplets joining the whole are heard. "It's gotta be here," the streak of blonde is smoothed back by a calloused hand, fingernails

surrounding rock back at them. Ducking both the spells, Bill and Evalyn found cover behind one of the many boulders littering the rocky floor. "Think we can distract it with this?" The

diamond in Bill's hand was imperfect but also just barely small enough to fit in his hand. The shine off of one of its facets was eye-

short and ragged as if cut by a knife. The

catching and, as it spiraled through the air

not without a measure of caution. Weathered

Enthralled by its new prey the Grootslang

smile attached to the hand is exuberant but

lines crease the woman's forehead as she pauses to visually search the cavern.

"And if it's not?" The man's whisper coats the

towards the cave entrance, dazzled the beast. slithered after the shiny gem, maneuvering down the rock face after it as it careened towards the ground more than a thousand feet below.

room like a puff of lavender but his stance is

"That was a close call Weasley," her words

attack from the apparently empty room. Hands

him a gloved hand. Then, together, they raised

solid and slightly tensed. He's ready for an still smoothe and virtually unscarred, they

stray towards his jacket pocket where a wand of a light-colored wood resides.

"Then we'll pick up a clue and go from

there..." The woman's voice trails off as she furrows her brow, focusing on a faint glow emanating from the bottom of a relatively

shallow pool. The pool, almost perfectly

centered on the cave floor, is mirror still and as clear a blue as the man's eyes.

Noticing the woman's glance, the man grins and casts Revelio. A large and spherical network of silver strands spiderweb throughout the

cavern, lighting briefly on points on the walls

and jumping up towards the ceiling. The two

had only a second to marvel at the beauty of the scene before there was a loud roar and the cavern began to shake. An odd, foreign

sound resembling ocean waves emanates from the darkness of a tunnel in the deep recesses of the cave. Seconds later, a massive reptilian

creature bursts from the blackness and strikes at the pair.

were gruff but Evalyn was smiling as she offered their wands and pointed it at the pool's

glassy surface.

Griphook raised a single eyebrow when the two

Curse-Breakers stopped in front of his podium, both of their faces streaked with dirt and

decorated with smiles that went from ear to

ear.

"As requested, the lost Durendal of Roland,"

Bill offered up a long object wrapped in canvas to the goblin who unwrapped it carefully and

eyed the metal work. After a lengthy silence,

he re-wrapped the sword and reached under the podium to pull out a scroll.

"This is your next task. I expect it'll take you only a month to track it down and less

than a week from there to bring it back. Here is your reward for the Durendal." Having

finished with them, Griphook thrust a sack of galleons at Evalyn and gestured for the pair

to leave. More than a little excited, the two hoisted their packs back onto their backs and walked out of Gringotts, already poring over their next great adventure.

A brook babbles and bubbles nearby and the air is warm with just the smallest hint of a fresh breeze. Somewhere nearby, an animal chitters and scratches in the dirt, pawsteps padded by the newly-born undergrowth that has sprung up in the last pass of the sun across the sky. A chilled fog creeps away beyond the tall oak trunks and he stops to listen. "Petrichor," growl, uncharacteristically gentle, breaks the hum of a quiet "The rain,"

a usual summer's day.

smell of dust after he answers the man automatically, eyes still scanning the forest floor. Although his hair is cut short and close, he still moves his hand as if to brush aside a stray lock.

"Do you know what that means?" the older man turns his grizzled face from the sun to gaze eastward. "Pretty sure I just told you..." the boy's voice trails off as he reaches for his wand, eyes locked on their target. The grizzled wizard opens his mouth as if to reprimand the youngster but, following his line of sight, the wizard grips his wand tighter. He hesitates a moment to let the boy move forward first. He needed to take Point on this run. Together, they stole behind the moss-ridden

trunks and inched their way closer to the unaware wizard who was picking his way through a particularly dense clump of blackberry bushes. Stopping once or twice to steal a berry from the wasps that liked to congregate amongst the leaves, the wizard appeared oblivious to the pair hidden mere feet away. A breath, a nod, and the two rushed from the bushes, casting spells as they went. The boy brought fire from the tip of his wand to herd their quarry as he pulled it from his back pocket. There was a sharp yell and the man, following swiftly, conjured an open trunk from thin air to trip the wizard as he backed away from the flames. After the wizard was safely contained in the trunk, the man cast a quick levitation charm and looked around for the source of the yell. Back at the Ministry of Magic, the boy watches with a distinct lack of amusement as their supervisor pounds the desk uncontrollably, face streaming with tears of laughter. "I don't see why it's so funny," the youth's face is contorted in discomfort. "It can't have been just me." At these words, even the boy's mentor is having difficulty keeping a straight face. "Well, Alastor," the grizzled wizard managed after a moment, "it's not every day that a fresh Auror has to report 'blown-off my buttocks' to their supervisor."

Do YOU have burning questions for our resident Seer and fairy, Madam Starflash? Got yourself in a relationship with a Vampire and don’t know if it’s going to work out? Debating on using a love potion on your biggest crush? Have a bully you’d love to get rid off? Don’t hesitate to ask! Madam Starflash ALWAYS has the right answer for you! Contact her in Divination Tower at /r/TheQuibbler now with your desperate questions! 28

DIVINATION QUIBBLER

k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm Dear Madam Starflash,

Dear Madam Starflash,

My brother's birthday is coming up and I want to bake a surprise cake for him, but I am bad at keeping secrets. What should I do?

How do I find the Room of Requirement?

Sincerely, Blabbermouth Baker Dearest Baker, Just cast Silencio on yourself whenever he’s near you! Or eat sticky treacle fudge and glue your teeth together. Your choice.

Sincerely, Lost at Hogwarts Dearest Lost, You certainly are lost. I run a psychic advice column. I’m not a tour guide! May Fortune smile upon you!

May Fortune smile upon you! Dear Madam Starflash, Dear Madam Starflash,

I'm interested in pursuing Divination and would like to be a Seer one day. What tips would you give me?

I live on my own for quite and due to being stuck inside a lot more now my main source of company has been the family portraits of my landlord that are on the wall of my flat. It's been really tough on my own and one of the paintings in particular, Wilfred (my landlord's dead father), has really been helping me get through this. He's the first thing I see in the mornings and the last thing I see before bed. I think I may be falling in love with him. What should I do?

Sincerely, Aspiring Seer

Sincerely, Art Lover

May Fortune smile upon you!

Dearest Seer, Come visit me in the Divination Tower here at Quibbler Castle. I cannot reveal my trade secrets in print, but I am willing to pass them down to you in person. Once social distancing ends, of course.

Dearest Art, You’re not falling in love. You’re losing your mind. Please send an owl to St. Mungo’s so they can send you a Healer. May Fortune smile upon you!

k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm 29

QUIBBLER DIVINATION

k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm Dear Madam Starflash, For my birthday I thought it would be romantic if I threw my boyfriend a surprise wedding! Super cute, right? Except he wasn't thrilled. In fact he just got really quiet and left the venue in a huff. He's barely spoken to me since then and when he does he calls me outrageous words like "manipulative" and "disrespectful"! Anyway, my question is, do you think it was a mistake to have peonies in my bouquet? I think that may be where everything went wrong. Sincerely, Abandoned Bride Dearest Bride, Absolutely, the peonies were the problem. Everyone knows that a surprise wedding requires calla lilies and chrysanthemums in the bouquet in case it goes from a wedding to a funeral for the groom. May Fortune smile upon you!

k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm 30

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31 31

QUIBBLER EDUCATION

S E S I U R B D N A S

P M U B C I BAS

The last night at home before school is always an exciting one. The trunks are packed to the brim with your textbooks, robes, and various knick-knacks. In my case, it's also topped with a few stolen pieces of parchment that has my grandmother's favorite recipes on it. I fully intend on asking the House Elves for the ingredients and maybe even some kitchen time. Most of them seem a little reluctant to let me get close to their cooking appliances bit after I show them grandma's famous Pineapple Upsidedown cake, they'll have to let me in! The last time I went to the kitchens was right after my cousin, Genevive, told me how to get in. The pear giggled ever so delightfully before letting me turn the knob. The first house elf I met there was a rather woeful-looking elf with burns in her blouse and skirt. It looked as though she'd been delegated to salad duty after her last mishap, possibly involving a niffler. Although what one of those was doing in the kitchens, I haven't the foggiest. All of the house elves seemed rather surprised when I said that I came down there in the middle of the night to try my hand at cooking. While Hogwarts is a fantastic school with many wonderful professors, there isn't a single class that teaches the students how to cook, clean,

AIL8

BY SILVERT

or heal! Seeing this as a massive oversight, I've tasked myself with learning these crucial tasks. Madame Pomfrey also seemed a little hesitant to let me in. However. when I made it clear that I wasn't planning on healing any of the other students without proper schooling, she let me borrow some of her books. Among them were books on healing herbs, various assistive potions, and common magical ailments, afflictions, and their solutions. All of this to say that I am creating a petition to the Headmistress of Hogwarts to create a class and teaching position for basic cooking, cleaning, and healing spells and general know-how. Most of our incredibly accomplished witches and wizards are sent out into the world knowing how to tell the difference between a Jack Russell terrier and a Krupp but with no knowledge on how to close a papercut. So if you want to see some basic, incredibly useful skills taught at Hogwarts, write a brief letter to our Headmistress at Hogwarts saying that you support the Petition for General Magical Education Classes! Thank you and I hope we see the healing of many bumps and bruises soon!

New Diagon Alley Entrance Ministry Statement Despite the many precautions taken by the Ministry of Magic, the secret of the Leaky Cauldron was unfortunately revealed to a muggle. The wizard who revealed this secret has been caught and will be judged for breaking the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. We asked you to send in ideas, and we have made a choice. Instructions on how to reach the new entrance can be found below. The proposal the Ministry found best suiting was made by Miss Tippett. The new entrance location will be at the Highgate cemetery. Wizards who prefer to take the underground, the nearest station is Archway station, which is about a kilometre from the entrance. An apparition spot will be installed, further information about this is to be expected soon. To go to the actual entrance, go to the entrance to the cemetery. At least one Ministry employee will be present at the entrance. The first time you go in, you have to give up your name to the Ministry employee. After that, you will be automatically recognised by a charm on the door. When you have entered the door you’ll have to wait for a second Ministry employee to come and pick you up for the tour. Tours depart every 30 minutes. The ministry asks not to wander off from the group, as to not alert the muggles. After a short walk, you will arrive at the tomb with the entrance. After you have entered the vault, the doors will shut, and the statue within will reach its hand out. You will have to tap it’s hand with your wand, speaking the incantation “Obsecro”. Doing so will cause the statue to move aside and reveal the entrance to Diagon Alley.

The Ministry employee will take you to a tomb in the cemetery.

If you wish to travel from Diagon Alley back to the tomb, tap a copy of the statue on Diagon Alley with your wand, and speak the incantation “Benigne”. This will let a Ministry Employee know that you are waiting, and the entrance to the tomb will open in a short period of time. 33

QUIBBLER EDUCATION

How to Study for OWLS or NEWTS When the Weather is Nice

by cynicforever7

sn’t the weather absolutely splendid?

The sun shines brightly in the clear, blue sky, the grass in meadows is green, and the leaves sway lightly in the warm breeze. It’s certainly a lovely change! All I wish to do is go outside and enjoy myself. I can definitely imagine how it would be difficult for 5th year or 7th year students to keep studying when the glorious weather tempts them to go out outside- so here I’ll be giving 5 useful tips for students who want to score highly on their exams.

1. Study Outside:

If you study outdoors, you can revise for your exams while basking in the sun- so why not have the best of both worlds?

2. Give yourself rewards:

If you need a little boost of happiness, treat yourself! That way, you have something to look forward to. For instance, you can tell yourself that for each chapter of Defence Against the Dark Arts you learn, you’ll allow yourself to play one game of Exploding Snap- hey, it’s a fair deal, right?

3. Plan your studies:

Dividing your learning material into

parts and following a schedule or study 34

plan is a good way to keep track of how much you need to do in the time you have. It’s helpful because it keeps you organised and prevents you from feeling overwhelmed as you’ll already have planned it out.

4. Remind yourself of what you’re studying for:

If you’re losing motivation, reminding

yourself of why you’re even studying in the first place could do the trick. Wanting to prove yourself to your parents? Think of how confident or happy you’ll finally be when they see that you’ve achieved your goal. Dreaming to work as a Healer? Picture all the people you could help if it comes true. Hoping to become a Professor? Consider all the bright young minds you could help nurture.

5. Study with a friend:

If you’re feeling lonely, you could do with a companion who would study with you. You can quiz each other, memorise potion ingredients together, and even add a bit of fun to the mix.

I hope these tips benefit you! Good luck, everyone!

education

C L O S E R L O O K AT T H E S U N

Ruddy stargazers should understand the value in giving full attention to our daily celestial companion, eyes wide and minds open. The sun is the nearest star to earth and provides light, warmth, food and love, outshining all other players in the celestial dance. As such it deserves the most consideration in astronomy, astrology, and article writing. It has been with us longer than even the eldest among us can remember and though may appear to vanish from our sight without a trace each day, it never truly abandons us. Our sun holds each of us close and cares for us deeply, from the beginning of our existence into the unknown future. Indeed, long perished civilizations considered the sun to be a god, as is right and proper. Solar deities include Huitzilopochtli, Ra, Tai Yang Xing Jun, Surya, Aurora, and Tonatiuh, but by any other name it still burns as bright and hot and wonderfully. The sun shone down without prejudice upon all peoples and continues to do so to this day, making it even more worthy of our praise. A prominent image from ancient Persia, the faravahar, is a winged sun disk that is said to stand for Ahura Mazda, the god of Zoroastrianism, but has broader interpretations of a guardian angel, divine grace, or simply godhood or royal power. This centers around the fact that the sun is like the king of planets. The name Aurora means “dawn” and has the same Latin root word "aurum," meaning “gold”. A scholar can find a throughline between the etymology and the mythology by contemplating the sun's bright color. The sun has an aura, just as people do according to most fortune tellers. In the divination branch known as Tasseography, the reading of tea leaves, finding the sun in your cup forwarns you of “great happiness”. Be

sure to examine these tracings carefully, if the message is meant to be just a star the prediction could be one of “good luck” instead. Check to see if there are dots surrounding the star for a more nuanced forecast, one involving an increase in “wealth and honor”. In Tarot readings, The Sun (XIX) is regarded as a universally positive card, making predictions of happiness, self-assurance, long life and success. It is representative of a person’s attainment of great knowledge, and using one’s mind to overcome fears and base desires. This comes not just in the form of expertise in deepening one’s understanding in all matters, but by maintaining a childlike wonder from new experiences, a sustained innocence unmarred by knowing the full story. The happiness foretold by The Sun card does not equate ignorance with bliss, but looks at the world with eyes unshaded yet still holds onto a hope for tomorrow. Gold, or aurum, is of course one of the chief desires for alchemists to obtain, being one of the two byproducts from successfully creating a Philosopher's Stone, the legendary substance that will transform any metal into pure gold as well as produce the Elixir of Life. It should be no surprise then that the alchemical symbol for gold is the sun disk. It is a symbol of the highest order, of finally finishing the Great Work and reaching the end of the path. The transmutation of base metal to gold, Chrysopoeia, can also be seen as metaphorical, of achieving spiritual purity through study, struggle and discipline. One passes from ignorance to dawning enlightenment. This is done in stages that may last for many years, and of course perhaps

sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

education

never be completed at all. Taking these steps, going through intense emotions, deep thinking, and other hardships, will bring one closer to understanding oneself as well as the larger cosmos. While the sun as a symbol can represent many things, there are symbols that can be used as stand-in for the sun, stretching out the path even further in titchy translations. The lion is a symbol of courage, strength, royalty, and much else. And in alchemy the lion is a representative of gold or the sun, and is seen as a protector of secrets. The rooster stands in for the dawn and also represents watchfulness, reliability, bravery and a fighting spirit. In the West they are put on the tops of buildings in the form of weathervanes as a ward against evil. In the East they are considered sacred and permitted to roam unhindered in Shinto temples. The ram is a symbol of the sun’s raw energy, and embodies power, passion, and a quick temper. The ram is the symbol of several gods such as Zeus, Apollo, Ea, Indra and Baal. And the dragon stands for might, vigor, action, as well as benevolent protection, warmth, wealth, good fortune, and success.

in the court of King Croesus of Lydia (part of modern-day Turkey). They were stamped with the imagery of animal heads, such as lions, bulls, and rams. A similar practice developed in China around the same time, Ying Yuan were supplied by the State of Chu during the Warring States period. They were basic squares of gold that simply bore inscriptions telling of their weight or value. The Greek titan Helios was called "Sol Invictus," in Latin meaning "invincible sun" and his likeness was engraved on Roman coins. And the sun itself looks like a round golden coin. It’s like poetry. Everything rhymes, and calls to the beauty and majesty of the sun. As Mary Oliver said of our fiery overseer:

Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful

The words “aurum” and “aurora” are also the root words for Auror, the name of dark wizard catchers; those light-bringing warriors fight the darkness with the strength and assurance of the sun itself, driving back the grim shadows of night. The job of course requires courage, wit and guile, with great combative spellcasting. The Dark Arts require powerful opponents to counteract them, which requires Aurors to be the elite in terms of most every branch of magic. Gold is also a precious metal that is used as currency. Gold coins go back to circa 550 BC

Education

HISTORY OF ELVES

AN OBSERVATION

ON MAGICAL EDUCATION By: Redhead Peregrine

Education

istory of Magic is one of the most important subjects taught at schools of witchcraft and wizardry throughout the world. For muggle-born witches and wizards it is often their first introduction into our community and even for those who grew up in it the class is vital in forming an understanding of why we live in the way we do. Over the years, new perspectives have been added to the curriculum, but here I will argue that there is still one vital story that is missing. I am of course referring to elves. Elves have been part of the wizarding world since it’s very beginning. They serve our oldest families and most famous places, they keep our schools and offices running and they fill our homes and halls with warmth. Yet we hardly know their names. I personally know quite a few muggle-borns who only learned of their existence years after becoming a member of the wizarding community and don’t even get me started on the stereotypes known to those with wizard parents. To this day there isn’t a single chocolate frog card with an elf on it. After the end of the Second Wizarding War some historians and activists were hopeful these things might change, but it soon became clear that there was still a lot of work to be done. Even the writings about the Wizarding Wars have mostly been about subjects like pureblood ideology, goblin neutrality or the role of pirate radio stations. The story of the elves has mostly been relegated to a single line or footnote about them fighting during the Battle of Hogwarts. No one ever talks about the brutality elves faced at the Ministry of Magic or the fact that without the sacrifice made by a certain Dobby, the war would almost certainly have been lost. Now, what are we going to do to solve this

problem? A good place to start would be the historiography of other magical beings. For example, we often take for granted that goblin rebellions are part of the collective memory of the wizarding world. This however took centuries of struggle to accomplish. It wasn’t until Bathilda Bagshot decided to publish some actual historical research in the 1940s that adequate recognition was given to goblin history. However, in comparison to the goblins elves lack a means for organization. The only reason goblins were able to lift their oppression was their strong sense of community. Without that elves will always be taken advantage of by self-serving wizards. This is why it is so important for their history to be written and we need their voices to do it. Elves need to have a say in how their history should be told. For goblins it is important to highlight their defiance, but the elves might wish for something completely different. For example, during my time at Hogwarts I learned about the story of Hooky, an elf dear to many who was well known for his expert skills in cleaning stains created by potions. I interviewed a Hogwarts elf who remarked: ‘Older elves talk about Hooky. If you’ve done a good job “Even the Hooky couldn’t have done it better” is the best compliment you can get.’ It might be surprising to many of you that Hooky has his own statue at Hogwarts. At the end of a small corridor full of potions equipment that is. Hooky’s deeds might not seem particularly grand to humans, but it is important for us to recognise that the profession of elves is vital and that their aspiration and dreams are valid. To show them that we see them for who they are. I therefore propose a comprehensive history of elves to be introduced into classrooms, or at the very least for an elf to finally be featured on a chocolate frog card.

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT

5 Sexy Tips to Ensnare the Wizard in Your Life

By Romilda Vane

*This article was originally published in the April issue of Witch Weekly. It is sponsored content and The Quibbler does not endorse or condone any of the advice presented in the article nor is it liable for any damages incurred. Readers proceed at their own risk.

Has that handsome wizard 2. Bubotuber Pus Massage you’ve been owling late at night You’re going to think we’re crazy, but after you try this one you’ll be thankbeen acting mercurial? Are you ing us profusely. Bubotuber pus is left wondering what kind of fu- widely known for its distinct petrol ture you’ll have if he’s unwilling smell, sickly yellow color, and thick consistency. Lesser known is its skin to take the plunge and make the cleansing properties. This wonder unbreakable vow? Well, we here substance is great at vanishing acne at Witch Weekly have your back and conditioning the skin. Most herbologists tell you it needs to be dilutand are here to provide you with ed, but this is a lie so they can stretch 5 foolproof ways to get your out their supply and sell you inferior wandering warlock to commit! products. For our use you’ll want the 1. Love Potion to Put Things in Motion

full strength pus. Why? The burning sensation when you massage it into his skin will really spice things up. He’s going to be left bewildered, bewitched, and possibly asking for more.

Hear me out. This may seem like a drastic first step, but we’re not talking full-on amortentia in his rich, delicious Cometbucks Coffee™ (now with 6 new Hogsmeade locations!). What we 3. The Floo Ruse Okay, technically this technique doesn’t are suggesting is this hot new trend require you to use a floo.You could called “microdosing”. Just a few little just as easily side-along apparate, but drops every morning for a month and the objective remains the same.You the flames in his heart will be reignited. tell your man you’re going on a date The best part? The effects are so miand it’s a surprise. The two of you nor he won’t even notice. pop off to your mystery location. He is greeted by a formally dressed

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER

and beaming crowd. There are flowers everywhere, music starts playing, he turns to you and sees you have magicked yourself into a show stopping white gown. You look fantastic because this is YOUR day. Your wedding day! And here’s the catch: what kind of monster would leave his blushing bride at the altar with all of her family watching?

4. True Love’s Kiss

This one is really naughty and for all of our sultry sorceresses who like a little role play. Who doesn’t want to be the star of their own romance novel? The set up is simple: he ingests poison and you’re the only one who can save him. Smear a little of the antidote on your lips and give him a big smooch.Voila! He has been revived by true love’s kiss. It’s a very romantic scenario with just a dash of danger to keep things saucy.

5. 6.

7. Interrogate and Obliviate

Our final tip is going to take a bit of skill, but you got this girl! Has your wizard been cagey or less than forthright about his previous entanglements? He’s def got something to hide! You should be the only witch on his mind and, with a little veritaserum and wandwork, you can ensure that. Starting with the veritaserum, (which needs to be administered in secret so it remains effective) ask him detailed questions about ALL of his exes. Once you have that information, obliviate them from his mind. Now you’re the only woman he’s ever loved and you also have a list to work through.You want to obliviate your man from every one of their minds so none of those wanton harlots can worm their way back into his heart. So there you have it! 5 sexy tips for all you sexy witches. If you like to kiss and tell, feel free to send us an owl with all your saucy success stories. We’ll be waiting.

UPDATE: The Quibbler is required to inform you that since the publishing of this article the author has been arrested and Witch Weekly was fined 600,000 galleons for disseminating malicious and harmful advice. 41

GHOST Impermanence of self is a glimpse into the secrecy of beginning. To witness the fault of time is to witness the elegance of idea, just as footprints of a shadow follow only abnormality. Evocation exists alone in every antonym: sensible and aware, ancient yet alive. 42

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT

A Dream Written by Milomi10

Harry had just put the kids to sleep. It was

waiting for him, busying herself with the

a tedious task to put three kids, each one

latest edition of The Quibbler. She looked

naughtier than the other to finally rest. He

up as he entered and asked him why he

and Ginny took turns every day, and today

was so tired.

had been his turn.

Harry replied that he had a lot of work

He trudged back to his room, stifling a

lately, and a lot was to be done. She didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t

yawn as he opened the door. Ginny was

prod more and he was glad she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Too

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER

much was going on, and to be truthful, it

about everything, and hoped that would

He was in Little Hangleton again

was overwhelming. Everyone was doing

happen. Ginny watched him, her face filled

and Pettigrew was brewing another

something new and every Daily Prophet

with worry and concern. She gently took

Voldemort. He was in the Department

highlighted some story, some invention,

off the spectacles off Harry’s face and

of Mysteries and Sirius was falling,

some incident.

kissed him goodnight.

Cedric dropped to the ground, but he

Hermione was Minister of Magic. Tributes

Harry’s

to the Order were held every month.

crossed the bridge that joined reality with

Dumbledore was falling and again, he

Every newspaper had at least one

imagination and he slipped into his dream.

couldn’t do anything.

He was back in the room with Quirrell and

Nagini was coming for him now, and

the Mirror. Quirrell was unwrapping his

the Dark Lord was laughing. The

turban and he heard a high cruel laugh.

snake was coming closer and closer.

His mind wandered farther behind and a

It opened its mouth, and was going

flash of green light blinded him.

to bite in and still, Harry couldn’t do

section dedicated to the Order. But every newspaper had at least another section about a death. About someone innocent who died. And it wasn’t his fault, but some part of Harry blamed himself without reason. He climbed into bed and tried to forget

mind

wandered

and

slowly

The world was spinning, and he couldn’t get it to stop.

couldn’t do anything.

anything. He screamed as loud as he could before he lost his voice.

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Ginny woke up, immediately and shook Harry up who had tears in his eyes. She held him close and calmed him down. Everything was fine, she told him. Everything would be all right. They hugged each other and stayed like that till Harry stopped shivering. His mind slipped back again, this time to a happier place. They were all in the backyard, everyone was there. His dad, James was there and so was his mum. Ginny was sitting with the kids and talking to Fred and George. Sirius was fooling around with Lupin, who was hand in hand with Tonks. Ron and Hermione were with their kids, talking to Molly and Arthur. Bill and Fleur were fussing over Victoire, Dominique, and Louis Weasley. Luna and Neville were there too. Charlie was by the fire talking dragons to Hagrid. Mad Eye Moody was laughing with Mundungus with a glass of champagne in hand. Dobby was roaming around with Winky and handing out socks

to everyone. Even Percy was engaging in light conversation with anyone free to talk. And in the far corner, the Dursleys were standing awkwardly. Harry walked over to

everyone he loved and he wanted this. This time he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wake up screaming, but with tears running down his face and a faint

them and saw Big D.

smile adorned his face.

He just stood and looked over and saw

It was only a dream, but it was enough.

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entertainment

quiz

A Cockroach Clusters B Fudge Flies C Jelly Slugs D Spindle’s Lick-O-rish Spiders

what ilvermorny house are you?

A Chocolate Frogs B Peppermint Toads C Black Pepper Imps D Sugar Mice

A Exploding Bon Bons B Blood Pops C Tooth Flossing String Mints D Acid Pops

A Cauldron Cakes B Pumpkin Pasties C Treacle Fudge D Honeyduke's Best Chocolate

A Fizzing Whizzbees B Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans C Drooble's Best Blowing Gum D Sugar Quills

Mostly A: Wampus Often referred to as the House of the Warrior! Your shining spirit and willingness to fight for what’s right shines through. Mostly B: Horned Serpent The House of Isolde became known as the House of the Scholar! Anyone can see your desire for knowledge as clearly as the nose on your face. Mostly C: Thunderbird Welcome wanderers! You got the House of the Adventurer, known for choosing those wizards who need a challenge. They are known for going well off the beaten path. Mostly D: Pukwudgie Aren’t you a gentle spirit? Well, you could be, being in the House of the Healer, but remember, the pukwudgie is known to be a gruff, aloof creature. No matter which way you lean, one thing is clear: you have a drive to help people, however you can.

Which is your favorite dessert?

Pick a drink:

A. Spicy

A. Chili Chocolate Cake

A. Lazzi (mango yogurt drink)

B. Dry

B. Blueberry Cobbler

B. Tea

C. Sweet

C. Treacle Tart

C. Hot Chocolate

D. Bitter

D. Tiramisu

D. Coffee

E. Sour

E. Lemon Meringue Pie

E. Lemonade

How would you describe your personality?

What is your favorite leafy green?

Which country would you most like to visit?

A. Arugula

A. Thailand

A. Horse

B. Lettuce

B. France

B. Owl

C. Spinach

C. Switzerland

C. Puppy

D. Kale

D. Japan

D. Cat

E. Dandelion

E. The Bahamas

E. Monkey

Choose your spirit animal:

GHOST PEPPER Mostly A's

You’re sassy, spirited, mischievous, and all around spicy! Some people really can’t take your heat but don’t let that stop your fire! You were born to weed out the weak. Those that can handle you would never let you go.

BLUEBERRY

Mostly B's

You definitely appreciate the finer things in life but that doesn’t stop you from being a loving, loyal friend. While some people don’t understand your humor, you know better than to expect that everyone has your taste. You’ve already found your people and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

TREACLE Mostly C's

You are a literal sweetheart and it’s hard for people to not love your sugar tooth personality. Everyone needs someone like you in their life, if only to remind us of how good things could be!

SPROUTS Mostly D's

For some people, you’re hard to swallow. You live life your way and you’re definitely not about to let silly things like feelings stand in your way. Your drive and willpower are traits to be admired. Pushing yourself to be the best that you can be, you tend to surround yourself with people just like you.

SHERBERT LEMON Mostly E's

Pucker up, buttercup! You live on pranks and practical jokes but you’re probably the wisest of us all. You know that life is supposed to be enjoyed to its fullest (once all of the serious bits have been handled of course).

r seen it like this! ggles! les, but you’ve neve gg Mu r mu Fo the st g time Ju on ’t am en ity Ar pt to escape before ining popular Escape Rooms ur skills as you attem ze that is steadily ga yo cra t tes the to of d ne ard he sig de ve You may ha three rooms Escape Wizard has We have them all! hers, hidden clues cip , les zz Pu runs out!

After attempting to steal from one of the bank’s oldest vaults, you find yourself trapped. You must retrieve your stolen treasure and escape before you are caught by the dragon. (No dragons were harmed in the staging of this room). Escape time: One hour Group size: 12

Follow in Harry Potter’s footsteps as you attempt to locate and destroy Ravenclaw’s Diadem while avoiding Vincent Crabbe’s deadly Fiendfyre. (Use of brooms may be required for this room. Not recommended for witches and wizards with trouble flying or a fear of heights). Escape time: One hour Group size: 6

You have been unjustly imprisoned in the dreaded fortress. You must escape your cell and find proof of your innocence before you are subjected to the Dementor’s Kiss! Escape time: One hour Group size: 8 More rooms are in development and coming soon! Visit Escape Wizards in Hogsmeade to learn more about Escape: Malfoy Dungeon, Escape: The Chamber of Secrets, and many more! 50

LOGI PUZZLE by Eldis_

The House Editors decide to go out for a picnic together to discuss the upcoming edition. Each editor brings something to share and has their own method of protecting themselves. But who brings which food and item? And in which way do they protect themselves? 1. The person who brings the wine does not bring the cups 2. Eldis_ brings the baguettes 3. Im_Finally_Free uses a spell to protect themselves 4. The person who brings the pancakes also brings a picnic blanket 5. The plates are brought neither by the person using a spell nor by the person who brought the Fruit salad. 6. NDoraTonks does not use magic during the picnic but brings cutlery. 7. The person who Accio’s all their food to avoid touching anything is the person who used eggs as an ingredient when making their food. 8. L-ily grew their own food How to play: Figure out what belongs to who. Carefully read the hints and add a + to a square when the X and Y axis match, or a - when they do not. For example, if “Peter really likes to juggle” and “Samantha hates dancing”, the puzzle will look like this:

Answers can be found on pg. 129 51

Answers can be found on pg. 129 53

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT

by Meepster27

hen I first stumbled upon “To be a Slytherin,” I’ll admit that I wasn’t impressed. I saw the first person POV, the OC, and first-year start, and turned my nose up at it. However, once I started reading it out of boredom, I was quickly hooked and wanted more. “To be a Slytherin” by Morgana Deryn is a multi-chapter fanfiction that encompasses 54

Harry’s twin sister Lorena Potter’s years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Without further ado, I present to you a review of this amazing fanfiction. Characters: In my opinion, characterization was on point for this fanfiction, and if it wasn’t, it was a result of careful character development rather than the writing being OOC. Draco’s transformation from arrogant bully to love interest was interesting to

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER

read, and the writing of Lorena as a “true Slytherin” was good, if a bit Sue-ish. The author actually addresses this point, and eventually uses this extreme power and arrogance to further develop her “drop from glory” and to remind Lorena that she’s only human. Although I personally don’t like Snape as a character, Morgana expands on his character, making him more than a guilt-ridden bully. The supporting Slytherins are all very well integrated, with unique personalities and interests. The multiple OCs in the fanfiction didn’t feel forced, as so many do, but fit into the story nicely, with some becoming main supporting characters. Ron’s portrayal is a bit lacklustre, but it does fit with how Lorena would view him, and Harry’s portrayal as a loving but misunderstanding brother shines a light on the years of prejudice tolerated by Slytherin house. Voldemort’s perspectives are positively creepy, and add some sense to the madness, while still maintaining that air of insanity that only the Dark Lord could pull off. Pacing: Though I feared that I would be burnt out by the sheer length of the fanfiction, it didn’t disappoint. The pacing is just fast enough that it doesn’t drag on, and at the same time doesn’t feel rushed. The author adjusts chapter lengths and time periods accordingly, making sure that each chapter has a sufficient amount of action so as to not bore readers. This isn’t to say that you aren’t in for a long haul, though. This fanfiction is about the length of fourteen 80,000 word novels, or four Order of the Phoenixes. The time skip from first to fourth year fit in seamlessly, and the other skips near the end of the story fit in too. Relationships: I personally liked the relationships in this story. Draco’s revelation and Lorena’s understandable confusion about someone actually caring for her are well written,

and while Draco’s immature and bullying demeanour are toned down, it is not to the point of being unrealistic. You get a nice mix of fluff, seriousness, and humour out of their interactions, which was something that I really enjoyed reading. Harry and Lorena’s relationship as twin siblings was written excellently. The concept of them loving each other even when it seems like they hate each other is a subject touched upon a lot in this story, and their multiple arguments and fallouts are great examples of this. Lorena’s undying loyalty towards those who she cares about is a great portrayal of a Slytherin’s loyalty towards their own, and presents an interesting contrast to Harry, who would die for anyone. The mentor-student relationship between Lorena and Snape is good as well, as they bounce off of each other and generally understand each other. Lorena also finds a mother figure in Amity Raincrow, her American boss at the craft store she works at. Amity soon becomes more than just a boss and is the subject of many laughs and heartfelt moments as the story progresses. Perspective: I generally don’t enjoy the first-person point of view, but upon reading this I was forced to reconsider my opinions. The POV adds a level of familiarity with the character that you just couldn’t get without it, and that familiarity is needed for this story, with Lorena’s many thoughts, emotions, and ideas coming into play. Overview: All in all, “To be a Slytherin” has earned itself a place in my favorite Fanfictions of all time. The on-point characterization and general flow really enhanced reading, and the perspective is pulled off excellently. Though it could work on grammar in some areas, it doesn’t impair the reading experience at all, and I would definitely recommend this story.

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER

We were interviewing Draco Malfoy about his life at Hogwarts and we got quite an interesting poem out of him. Debuting today to the media, this is his poem about school life. As a compassionate piece, this may backfire but that is up to you to decide. SOMEWHERE, SOMETIMES: THE OTHER SIDE I was amused by everything I was told I would be cared for And raised to be a gentleman So I walked in I walked into a hall With my chest puffed out My head held high With a smirk on my face For the Malfoys were never struck down We always won We were the dark ones And Father was always having meetings I always thought that we were great The other side never existed for me The other side where the Dark Lord Secretly entered our mansion And shared secrets And we would keep them Some people knew That we were dangerous And they scoffed upon us Till I learnt to scoff upon them Why are the famous always in the limelight? Just because the boy who lived Survived Avada Kedavra Doesn’t mean that he is to be pampered And praised For simply breathing

Why is everything about him And not about me So he can do shady things And get away with it But the very fact that I’m a Slytherin Gets our house infiltrated And our secrets spilled The very fact that I have a necklace Puts everyone off The very fact that I come from the Malfoys Makes me a suspect For everything that happens All I ever wanted Was the limelight And now I realize I might have been greedy To have wanted everything There was to have But the irony I had everything And in a sense he had nothing Yet more than me And Granger

If only this wasn’t the case

Was I intimidated That there was someone Who could beat me In every subject And was probably a better person Than I could ever be I guess I was

Maybe it should have been me Instead of him What does he have that I don’t?

But everyone has expectations And the Dark Lord has his So did my father

Why is he in every newspaper? And why does he get a racing broom While I clap sarcastically and slouch In the nosebleeds

I was taught to kill I was trained to be merciless I was a horse And my reins were being stretched So fiercely, I thought they would tear 57

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT But nobody ever knew That I cried That I felt Because I couldn't tell someone That I could cry I thought I was capable Of murdering the man Who saw me grow For six years And deny him The rest of his life which he had yet to devote And like every time I was wrong Somewhere, I was a coward To be manipulated To shy away From reality Had I known that Things would turn out like this I would have met Better friends And I might have been in Gryffindor But I would be disowned Similar to Albus Potter But his father Had the decency to claim his again Mine wouldn’t have done that

If nothing would have happened I would be prey Flung out to the wolves To death But death comes And death comes fast The Dark Lord holds back nothing I finally understood Why we were where we were And what would happen if we changed We were on thin ice And we might fall And drown If I didn’t take an oath I was innocent I didn’t know That what I was doing Was not called nobility But cowardice Utter cowardice I overstepped I tripped I fell And now I’m crying -Draco Malfoy

Malfoy’s poem ends here and our reporters have something to say about it. We rarely quote them but these are the words of our very own Thomas Hender: ‘That poem was brutal; even I have to admit that. And it hit me. That poem just reached inside of me, tore my heart out, and Avada Kedavra’d it!’ It is a very emotional poem, to be sure. It shows the true, raw colours behind seven years of heartbreak and a dreadful yearning to be more than he was. Draco Malfoy also commented this on his poem: ‘I don’t want to be cryptic so here goes. Somewhere, sometimes, there is that somebody who is hiding or being hid. Don’t ignore them. Don’t shun them away. Don’t forget that everyone is human - of course we are magical folk, but we all have a heart. Wait, did the Dark Lord have one?’ After a long conversation, and for the sake of Malfoy’s statement, we made him agree that Voldemort had a heart. But this is for the sake of this issue as Tom Riddle Jr. might just have had Nargles. That would totally solve his problem. Written by Milomi 58

Quizzical Quibbler Quiz: What Do Your Summertime Activities Say About You?

nswer the following questions and add up all of the points found next to each of your answers. Match your score to the appropriate score range below the questions and read a completely accurate description of yourself (along with some advice that you may find useful)! How do you feel about summer? • a) It’s the best time to go out and have fun!!! (4 points) • b) It’s a nice break from schoolwork (3 points) • c) It’s a chance to spend some time alone and study for the next year at Hogwarts (2 points) • d) I hate it. It’s worse than getting a vomit-flavoured Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans (1 point)

What’s your favourite colour to wear in the summer? • a) Yellow (4 points) • b) Fuchsia (3 points) • c) Dirt brown or green (2 points) • d) Black (1 point) What is your preferred mode of transportation in the summer? • a) Apparition, so I can spend as much time with my friends as possible (4 points) • b) Walk to my destination with a friend (3 points) • c) Flying broomstick. The view in summer is just breathtaking! (2 points) • d) No travel. It’s too hot to leave the house. (1 point) It’s boiling hot and sunny. You have some free time, so what do you do? • a) Hang out on the beach with all of my friends (4 points) • b) Go for a swim in a quiet lake with a few of my best friends. Maybe we’ll find a giant squid! (3 points) • c) Drink a cold beverage inside (2 points) • d) Stay inside and sweat miserably while trying in vain to cool myself down (1 point)

What is your favourite summer sport/game? • a) Quidditch (4 points) • b) Gobstones (3 points) • c) Reading more than I did last summer (2 points) • d) Non-competitive sleeping (1 point) A group of researchers who are studying merpeople are trying to raise a few Knuts for their research. To support this research, they are selling tickets to join them as they dive underwater to interview and observe merpeople communities. You receive a free ticket from someone who was unable to go. What do you do? • a) Get on the researchers’ boat and join them underwater to swim with the merpeople (4 points) • b) Get on their boat, but just watch as they dive underwater (3 points) • c) Give the ticket to a friend (2 points) • d) Tear the ticket up and throw it out (1 point) You’re wandering around Diagon Alley in the summer. What do you buy? • a) Ice cream for all of my friends and me at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour (4 points) • b) Some sweets at Sugarplum’s Sweets Shop (3 points) • c) Some potion ingredients for brewing at home (2 points) • d) Nothing because I’d be at home (1 point) It’s a warm summer night and the sky is clear. What do you decide to do? • a) Hang out around a bonfire with a bunch of friends (4 points) • b) Look up at the stars with one or two friends or my significant other (3 points) • c) Study astrology by myself (2 points) • d) Sit in the dark with the curtains drawn and contemplate my loneliness (1 point)

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT

What is your favourite beverage to drink on a hot day? • a) A big fruit smoothie with four straws and a tiny umbrella (4 points) • b) Fruit punch or lemonade (3 points) • c) Water (2 points) • d) Prune juice (1 point) It’s a cold and rainy summer evening. What do you do? • a) Invite everyone I know over to my house for a party (4 points) • b) Invite a few friends over for a movie night (3 points) • c) Practice Arithmancy (2 points) • d) Stare out the window while playing sad music (1 point) 0-9 points: Math is not one of your strengths, but hopefully you had fun taking this quiz anyway. You may want to go back and count your points again. 10-16 points: You are a complete loner who would do almost anything to avoid interacting with people. You may have been hurt by people in the past, causing you to avoid being hurt like that again. Alternatively, you just really hate summer and don’t do well in the heat. You don’t have many hobbies and you rarely pursue your interests. You are often grumpy, sad, and upset. You should really get some fans and try to get out more where there might be a breeze. You could join a Wizard’s Chess club (games are often held in buildings charmed with a Cooling Charm) or go see a Quidditch match (natural cool breeze of the bludgers whizzing by your head). There’s more to the world than the four hot walls of your home so go out and experience what life has to offer (like cold air)! 17-24 points: You are an introvert and don’t spend much time with other people. You hate spending time in large groups and your friend group is very small. Sometimes it feels like books are your only friends but there are peo-

ple who care about you (even if you don’t yet know who they are). Expanding your horizons and stepping out of your comfort zone may be beneficial to you but you are afraid of what may happen if you do. It’s alright to be scared or nervous but don’t let that get in your way. If you feel held back by these fears, remember that you can overcome them and live your best life. If you want that extra little push, some Felix Felicis could help you with that. (It definitely couldn’t hurt!) 25-32 points: You love spending time with your friends whenever you get the chance. Summer is a fantastic time for this because you have plenty of free time and there are so many fun things to do. You know that each moment is unique and can never be experienced the same way twice (even if you do forget this sometimes), so you appreciate the present as much as you can. You’ve been saving up to buy a pensieve because you want to be able to save all of your favourite memories for later, but seeing your memories that way is never quite the same as when you first experienced them. Always remember to enjoy the good times and make the most of the time you have. Never take the wonderful people in your life for granted because you never know where life will lead you. 33-40 points: You are a social butterfly. You love being around large groups of people and being the centre of attention. Keep on fluttering around and socializing with everyone as you love to do but make sure that you aren’t relying completely on other people to give you confidence and self-esteem. Take care of yourself because you are important and you deserve good relationships with people who treat you well. You need people in your life but toxic relationships won’t do you any good. Ignore the owls from those toxic people and they will move on from you; you’ll be better off for it. If you haven’t already, you will eventually find people who value you and appreciate you for who you are.

Drift/The Forbidden Forest The [ ] within all is known only by me and the patterns that make up slow-moving rivers. Smiling in a grove of petal-white birches, dusk imparts [ ] as I walk quietly toward the loftier trees. Light holds its breath then speaks, â&#x20AC;&#x153;At times I wish to be a someone.â&#x20AC;? There in every reflection, [ ] is an indelible whole.

QUIBBLER INSERT Are you stuck inside for too long? Is your mother driving you up the walls? Are you in need of a quality, family-bonding activity to bring you together so that you can hang on for just a little longer? Well, look no further than this fun, family version of Would You Rather! Gather your household on the patio with some ice-cold beverages and enjoy this wonderful game! So without further adoâ&#x20AC;Ś

by blxckfire Swim in a shark-infested ocean

an alligator-infested river?

Only be able to drink iced coffee in the winter

only be able to drink hot chocolate in the summer?

Sit by the side of the pool tanning

jump in the water?

Curse your worst enemy with a sweating jinx

curse them with a bee-sting hex?

Be cursed with a sweating jinx

be cursed with a bee-sting hex?

Never have to do summer school work again

never have to take exams again?

jump in the way of a curse aimed at your beloved older sister?

Start a dueling club with your family and hex your annoying little brother 62

Try to work the muggle computer try to work the telephone or to talk with your grandmother to talk with her? Be able to go back to be able to have a cookout or Diagon Alley again with your friends again? Accidentally floo-call your have your wife floo-call your or boss while naked boss while naked? Have your spouse interrupt never again have to help the or every business call ever kids with their homework? Create a potion to a potion to stop sweating or cure sunburns all of the time? Have a vacation lake house a beach home or somewhere cooler somewhere tropical? Have to install a swimming pool already have one in your backyard knowing that but it breaks or it won't be done until the at the beginning end of summer of summer? Have the Summer last forever or have it be Fall already? 63

QUIBBLER INSERT

Are you bored and wanting to occupy yourself for a few minutes? I have just the thing to help you with that! Here’s a short and fun Would You Rather Quiz that will hopefully get you thinking!

by CynicForever7

Travel 100 years back in time or 100 years forward in time? Have an Invisibility Cloak or master Legilimency and Occlumency? Get all Os in your N.E.W.T's and go on to have a very respectable, high-paying job or be an amazing Quidditch Captain who always leads their team to victory and becomes a professional player in one of the world’s best teams? Eat a vomit-flavoured Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor bean or eat a grass-flavoured Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor bean? Spend a day in Hogsmeade or a day in Diagon Alley?

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Be doomed to eat only white bread from this point on or be forced to have one really, really disgusting meal once every day? Read the Quibbler or The Daily Prophet? (the right answer is the Quibbler, just so you know) Visit Zonko’s Joke Shop once or get one free shopping spree in Madam Malkin’s Robe Shop? Have a chance to attend the Quidditch World Cup Final or participate in and win the Tri-Wizard Tournament? Wear a Horcrux for a week or lose and regrow all of the bones in your leg? Fight an acromantula or fight a basilisk? And last, but definitely not the least… Die a tragic, heroic, and memorable death in your youth or live a long, uneventful life alone?

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IAR L R A I L ON S T N A P FIRE

Except the liar (trickster)’s pants weren’t the ones

10 PRANKS TOP

on fire here. Peeves the Poltergeist, one of my favourite mischief makers of all time, had blocked the entrance to Gryffindor Tower and had told students that he would only let them pass if they set their pants on fire. Poor Neville Longbottom,

SPI

a sixth year Gryffindor who has been the subject of many pranks throughout his years at Hogwarts, actually went

through with this. As noted by Harry Potter and Ron

IN HOGWARTS History

Weasley, Neville smelled strongly of singed material

POW

and started to look for a fresh pair of pants once he reached the Gryffindor Common Room. He was also the only student to comply with Peeves' request.

It’s been far too long since we’ve talked about pranks so here we’ll be discussing the top 10 pranks in all of Hogwarts’ history! But it’s only been 3 months since we spoke about pranks, you say? Ah, exactly! 3 months with no talk of pranks? The horror! Let’s get started then which will be the funniest prank of them all?

r g a

id!

We can only imagine what Miss prank was! After she became the

R E L F NIFAOS CH

Umbridge’s reaction to this mischievous

Headmistress of Hogwarts School of

Witchcraft and Wizardry, Lee Jordan levitated two nifflers that Fred and George Weasley had left him through Dolores Umbridge's office window as a way of showing his dislike for her methods, authority and, most importantly, her. The nifflers must have had a field day and I can’t say that most of the Hogwarts students and staff were unhappy about it either! Unfortunately for Rubeus Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, Miss Umbridge blamed him for this. The incident also played a part in her attempt to sack Professor Hagrid in the middle of an Astronomy O.W.L examination in 1996. 66

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! t o

This one definitely caused a lot of commotion at the Hufflepuff table! During his third Start Of Term Feast, Ernie MacMillan mixed a large amount of very spicy homemade chili powder into Justin Finch-Fletchley and Zacharias Smith’s meals while they were looking elsewhere. Once they tasted it, each had tears coming out of their eyes and smoke coming out of their ears! Thankfully, after having a good amount of water and

ICY

A eist H T I g W r E G e t N l E o V RE H OF P DAS

pudding, Finch-Fletchley and Smith recovered without needing a visit to the Hospital Wing.

HILI

WDER

This was a fun little prank that caused its own share of headscratching but didn’t end up swaying the Hogwarts Quidditch season. Clemencie Jagger, the then Slytherin Quidditch Team’s Captain and Chaser, was a perfectionist who would often schedule too many practices. This led to team members not having enough time to do non-Quidditch activities (like studying). Orlan Lancaster, another Chaser on the Slytherin Quidditch Team, eventually decided that enough was enough. He needed to do something to draw Clemencie’s attention as thus far she was only ignoring his complaints. So Lancaster decided to kick it up a notch. On the day in question, the team was practicing, yet again, for the Ravenclaw vs Slytherin match. The Beaters were practicing co-ordination, the Seeker was seeking for the Snitch, and the Chasers were taking laps around the pitch to hone their speed - the Quaffle hadn’t been put into play. After half an hour had passed, the team took a 5 minute break. Following the break, the Chasers planned to practice a difficult move called the Parkins' Pincer. Now well rested, the players took off and the practice match started. Things were going smoothly, but as soon as someone tried to take the Quaffle, it escaped their grasp and flew about 15 meters away. Seeing this, Clemencie made a move to take the quaffle herself but, defying her, it flew out of her hands. She started racing after the Quaffle, but this time it flew away before her gloved hand even made contact. This kickstarted the shortest unintentional game of Cat and Mouse conducted on a Quidditch field. The other Chasers followed Clemencie after the Quaffle and the Beaters and Seeker, distracted by the commotion, abandoned their respective searches to watch. After about 7 minutes, Orlan slowed down, landed on the ground, and spoke up. He admitted that he was the one who had charmed the Quaffle and explained his motivation for the prank. The rest of the team agreed that they’d like to have more of a Quidditch-life balance. Clemencie did not take this well and stormed off the pitch with her broom in hand. In the weeks leading up to the match, she did not host a single practice and refused to speak to the lot of them. As a result of the lack of practice and a practically absent captain, the Slytherin Quidditch Team lost the Slytherin vs Ravenclaw match by a landslide. A short while after this devastating match but over a month before they were due to face-off against Hufflepuff, Clemencie reached out to the rest of the team. After a lot of thinking and taking some constructive advice from those closest to her, Clemencie decided to reevaluate her coaching style. After a productive discussion, the team was able to come to a compromise. They lost the subsequent match to Hufflepuff by a bit and lost the Quidditch Cup too, but saw a sizable improvement in their playing and teamwork. The following year, Clemencie went on to be a responsible captain who led her team to a well deserved victory that none of her teammates suffered for.

6 THE OUT OF

REACH QUAFF LE

Before the Start of Term Feast in 1994, Peeves had declared that he wanted to attend. The ghosts held a council and, though the Fat Friar was in favour of giving Peeves a chance, the Bloody Baron and the other ghosts didn’t think that this would lead to anything good. The dissenting ghosts were of the opinion that Peeves in the Great Hall would end unfavourably for almost everyone. Peeves obviously could not just take that decision quietly and was quick to retaliate. Infiltrating the kitchens, he threw around pots, plates and other utensils, spilled soup, scattered food around, and generally made a large mess. When the students started filing in from the Front Doors for the feast, Peeves dropped water balloons on their heads and even found a way to justify what he was doing (“Not doing nothing!” cackled Peeves, lobbing a water bomb at several fifth-year girls, who screamed and dived into the Great Hall. “Already wet, aren’t they? Little squirts! Wheeeeeeeeee!”). It might have caused a lot of annoyance for the students and professors, but you can’t deny that it was hilarious!

ing l z z u nf

Books

Were you of the opinion that Ravenclaws can’t play pranks that involve books? Think again! Irene Hawkins, a

half-blood from Ravenclaw, went down in

Hogwarts' history for using a complicated spell that would

make any book fly from its holder’s hand and get buried in a shelf far away from its correct place. In May of 1984, when quite a few students were studying

for their final exams, several well-placed shots of this spell wreaked a lot of havoc,

ruining a whole day of studying. Madam Pince was certainly not happy! Hawkins later unwisely confessed to being the perpetrator for the glory of being the spell's creator. Immediately following her confession, Hawkins had her previously clean record to thank for her minimal sentence of detention for two weeks.

I would very

dearly like to shake the

ry c i m i M

s s e n d Ma

This prank is one that definitely doesn’t follow the

hand of the people who thought of this unnerving prank. Unfortunately, the people who executed it have not been caught even to this day! One cold December afternoon in 2006, everyone was going about their day when they suddenly heard a loud stamping, rumbling noise. Some of the Muggleborns thought an earthquake was coming, and started telling everyone to hide and stay away from things that can topple over. However

norm. Of course there is fun, confusion, laughter,

they soon learned that it wasn’t an earthquake many chairs

and planning involved so what’s different?

(including the Headmistress’s) turned a corner and began

The thing that makes this prank stand out is

galloping towards the courtyard. There, the group

the instigators. Believe it or not, the professors themselves planned this one to lift the students’ spirits up before exam season really came to roost. The first students to be introduced to the prank were the Fourth Year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins. They had first period Potions on the 24th of March and had seen their Potions Professor, Isabelle Cortse, at the front of the Potions classroom. However, they were shocked to hear Professor Flitwick’s voice when she opened her mouth. Behaving as if nothing was amiss, Professor Cortse ignored the confused looks she received and refused to acknowledge any student who tried to ask about it. Bewildered, the students reluctantly did their work and didn’t pry, even though quite a few giggled among themselves about it. Next period, it was the Seventh Years of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff who saw Septima Vector, their Arithmancy Professor, speak like Keanan Prentiss, the Muggle Studies Professor. The

of chairs spread

Chair

Thse e

Cha

about it. By the end of the school day, all of the students who had attended classes had born witness to something incredible. Beyond that, it definitely made a lot of students smile. Just before dinner was served, the faculty members explained what they had been up to that day and that they were glad to see the prank had served its purpose. Wasn’t this sweet?

hours before, without any discernable magical input, it stopped just as suddenly as it had

started.

Somehow only two students were hurt (and

only minorly) and some of the school’s property was damaged. I’m sure that if the pranksters were caught (I’m assuming that there were multiple people involved in this incredibly complicated prank - I could, of course, be wrong), they’d not be let off easily as their prank caused absolute chaos.

Now I’d like to talk about how I came to know the specific information related to these pranks, as some of them have occurred quite a while back; I asked! I talked to past and current staff and students, asked them for their thoughts on pranks and what the pranks were like from their perspective. All of this helped me to piece things together. I believe that inquisitiveness is a very important trait for a prankster to have because if you don’t question the norm, from where will creative ideas or desire for mischief come?

students. This

went on for 5

news that professors were imitating each others’ voices and mannerisms spread during lunch and soon everyone was talking

out and chased after random

bom g n u D

er n n i D During Even

though

this one took place quite a while back, it left a big impression on a lot of people (especially Slytherins). Most pranksters in the Wizarding World look up to the Marauders and their works, and quite a few of us also know about their hate for Slytherins. Therefore, it comes as no surprise to us that one of the Marauders’ most elaborate and damagecausing pranks were intended to be unleashed upon the Slytherin population during their time at Hogwarts. A group of Slytherins, rumored to have been bullying Remus Lupin (the details of who and how are still unclear), were the unfortunate receivers of this prank. In retaliation, Sirius, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and several other friends stuck dungbombs to the underside of the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. These were charmed so that Sirius could set them off from afar, catching the Slytherins unaware once their guards were down. Gleefully telling Remus about the revenge mere minutes before he planned to set everything in motion, Sirius failed to take his friend's excellent diplomacy skills into account. Somehow, a reasonably rational Remus managed to convince his hot-headed friend to take his finger off the proverbial trigger by saying that Remus wasn’t at all affected by the "teasing" and that the dungbombs should be saved for an even better prank. Although this cooled Sirius down, even Remus' sugared tongue couldn't save the Slytherins the next time around. One week later, Sirius found Remus getting picked on again and this time, he flew into a

rage and stormed

off with his friend in tow. He

decided right then that he would play a trick on them that no one, absolutely no one, could stop. That night things were just as normal as they could be. Chatter could be heard in the Great Hall, a group of Seventh Years were eating pork chops while studying, and the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team was discussing their upcoming match. Just before dinnertime was halfway through, Sirius flicked his wand and whispered a largely unknown incantation. Slowly, and with increasing volume, a sizzling sound became audible from the Slytherin table. The Slytherins looked at one another with puzzled looks on their faces. One dungbomb exploded, causing the few Slytherins that were sitting near it to jump out of their seats. Warned by the first dungbomb and the ominous continual hissing, the crowd in the Great Hall scattered and chaos ensued. The dungbombs exploded, one by one, in quick succession and Slytherins (along with some Ravenclaws) were running away in panic, trying to get as far as possible from the Slytherin table. Now reseated, quite a few people at the Gryffindor table burst out laughing, while the Professors tried to calm all of the students down. Once the dungbombs had finished exploding, most students and several professors were holding handkerchiefs or hats over their mouths and noses and the Great Hall was silent apart from the coughing. As the Marauders often pulled large-scale pranks such as this one, the Professors didn’t have much difficulty in correctly guessing who was behind this colossal explosion. Sirius, James, Pettigrew, and Remus each got a month of detention, but they all (even Remus) agreed that it was worth it. The looks on the Slytherins' faces along with the fact that Remus was never picked on again made it one of the most

A Superb Series of Pranks Pranksters extraordinaire Fred and George Weasley are quite well known among the folks of the Wizarding World. This is

largely due to their close relations to members of the Golden Trio (the ones who played a very significant part in bringing Voldemort down) and because Fred was one of the many heroes who lost their lives in the Battle of Hogwarts. The twins have played a lot of amazing pranks, but the ones they played in their last incomplete year at Hogwarts were superior to all the rest. Over their mischievous early years, they learned quite a few tricks of the trade and had a target they delighted in tormenting. This gave them remarkable skills and a sense of dedication. With their target's discomfort in mind, the Weasley twins did whatever they could to show support for students and faculty who were against Miss Dolores Umbridge. The people (and poltergeists!) who disliked her did a conglomeration of little things to bother her: they recused to follow some of her more unreasonable rules, showed her cheek, played pranks of increasing menace on her, and so on. The twins definitely were the biggest perpetrators of pranks against Miss Umbridge. In one instance, they used their product ‘Portable Swamp’ and left a sizable swamp right outside Miss Umbridge’s office, in another, they made a remarkable show of fireworks (Weasleys’ Wildfire Whiz Bangs). They also sold their Skiving Snackboxes (consisting of Nosebleed Nougat, Puking Pastille, Fever Fudge, and Fainting Fancies) to fellow students, enabling them to skip her lessons without many consequences, along with many other small pranks too numerous to dictate here. Finally, how can I not talk about their epic exit? After the Portable Swamp incident, the twins felt like they were ready to go out into the world and make their mark, leaving the school before completing their seventh and final year. Moments before they left for good, Fred said the iconic, “Give her hell from us, Peeves” line. And Peeves, who had never been known to listen to a student, saluted the twins and thereafter stuck to his promise. The fitting, dramatic exit was all the students could talk about for quite some time and in the following months, most of the Professors actually seemed to have listened to Fred and George as well and assisted Peeves in causing mayhem. All of these pranks involved skill, planning, and a flair for drama and mischief. They were also fun to execute or watch (although not for the victim(s) of the pranks), so I’d say that they come as close to a perfect, ideal series of pranks as any set of pranks could.

enjoyable pranks they ever pulled. Anyway, thank you so much for reading this article! I hope you enjoyed it! And remember, never pass up an opportunity to cause mayhem! 69

QUIBBLER FASHION

Harry Potter

House Nails Made Easy: A Step by Step Guide By: Meepster27

Looking to show off some house pride? Just itching for a new look? Well, these Hogwarts House nails can spice up any outfit with a flare of color and glam! Materials: All: • GoGoOnly “St. Holly” Stamping polish stencil • Any nail stamp of your choice • Clear coat nail polish

Side notes: In general, you can choose whatever polishes that match the colors that you want, these are just the ones that I had available. For the stamping polishes, I would strongly recommend using these stamping polishes for the best results, normal polishes are generally too see-through. Slytherin: • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Christmas Tree” • B.M.C. Stamping polish in “Empire Club” • OPI Nail Lacquer in “Chiffon-d of You” Ravenclaw: • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Poseidon’s Girl” • B.M.C Stamping Polish in “Astronomical” • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Goldie Lux” • ARTISTRY Magnetic nail color (This is literally the extent of the name, sorry for the generic-ness) Gryffindor: • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Candy Cane” • B.M.C Stamping Polish in “Rose Garden” • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Goldie Lux” Hufflepuff: • Sally Hansen Hard as Nails XTREME in “Mellow Yellow” • B.M.C Stamping Polish in “Gobi You” • Sally Hansen Hard as Nails XTREME in “Black Heart”

For those without a house, fear not! Presenting, the Hogwarts look: Hogwarts: • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Purple Princess” • B.M.C Stamping Polish in “Eldorado” • Anjou Peel-off Nail Polish in “Goldie Lux” Notes: From now on, the stamping polishes will be referred to as the “SP” and the first polish in every list is the “AC” or accent color. The polishes listed after the SP are the base colors, or “BC”s. Instructions: 1. Take your BC and paint a coat on every nail except for the ring finger. Ravenclaws, use the ARTISTRY polish first. On the remaining nail, paint a coat of your AC. Repeat as necessary, until no longer see-through. 2. Take out your stamping stencil. If you already know how to use it, skip this step. If not, read on. Find the pattern square that you want to use. I tended to go along with the “theme” of the house. Ex: Scales for Slytherin, bold prints for Gryffindor, so on. Paint a thick line at the bottom of the square, and scrape upwards with your scraper. IMMEDIATELY use the stamper and pick up the pattern using a rolling pattern. IMMEDIATELY print this on your nails of choice. 3. Print your patterns on all nails except for your AC. 4. Finally, go over it all with a clear coat. Ta-da! You’re done! Feel free to put your own spin on these looks, whether with a change of colors or with different patterns. Remember, creativity is key!

QUIBBLER FASHION

Shelly Mer’s

Summer Collection:

Suits, Shades, and Screen By StockParfait

Summer is just around the corner! The temperatures are climbing and the layers of clothing are diminishing as we reach this wonderful season. With the rise of sizzling temperatures, Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions is delighted to announce the arrival of fashion designer Shelly Mer’s Summer Collection this year. The focus of Shelly Mer’s new collection this year is the combination of health and style. The reports from the Department of Meteorology remark how the Wizarding World will have the highest temperatures in years with an increased threat of overheating and sweating. As a result, Ms. Mer decided to craft a new line of swimsuits, sunglasses, and a fashionable, yet protective, sunscreen. Swimsuits from Ms. Mer’s Summer Collection will be infused with a low-level Freezing Charm to keep one cool from the sun when sunbathing. This aspect will be in all of the swimsuits, from the one piece to the halter tops. The designs and patterns found on the suits can be customized to a witch or wizard’s liking before placing an order at Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions. Sunglasses from Ms. Mer’s Summer Collection will be available in multiple seashell shapes, ranging from conches to clamshells. This year’s sunglasses have the added bonus of being able to conform to anyone’s face for the perfect fit. The sunglass lenses will also have the Repairing Charm infused, just in case the lenses are broken. This is sure to save a pretty penny for parents with many young witches and wizards’ forgetfulness, breaking their glasses by sitting on them. A new addition to Summer Collection is sunscreen. The sunscreen designed by Ms. Mer will allow the wearer to “glow” as the sunscreen will protect one’s skin with the inclusion of a low level Lumos Charm. You will be able to shine brightly on the beach with this unique aspect. Be sure to check on Shelly Mer’s Summer Collection at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions starting June 1st!

QUIBBLER FASHION

From Rompers to Robes: Araminta Deschamps, Up Close and Personal

Raspberry_cordelia et to know the up-and-coming fashion designer known for her ability to mix both Wizarding and Muggle styles.

Before I step foot into Araminta’s hotel room, she’s already run out into the corridor, arms wide. “CORDELIA!!!” she screams as she envelops me in a tight hug. So tight, in fact, that if this were any other person, I would have attempted to jinx their arms together to never receive such a hug from them again. But it just so happens that this is Araminta Deschamps, so I let it slide. “It’s been far too long,” she says as she guides me to her suite. In fact, this is the first time I have ever met Araminta. I try to correct her, but she simply shakes her head. “We have a spiritual connection.” She draws a large circle with her arms as if to illustrate this point. “I’ve known you for forever.”

swimming robes and beachwear. “Mouleporc has always been close to my heart,” she explains when I ask her what her achievement means to her. It’s the wizarding village right outside of Paris, where her father grew up. “I went to France every summer, and after I got my Hogwarts letter, my dad would take me to Mouleporc. It’s really where my passion for clothing and fashion design was sparked.” “What made you want to tackle Wizarding swimwear specifically?” It’s the possibilities, she says as she offers me a Butterbeer. I politely decline. It is fashion week, after all, and I need to look my best, even as a reporter. Instead, I ask for her to elaborate.

“We don’t really see much in the way of swimsuits for wizardkind. But I would argue that we have different needs in our clothing compared to Muggles. For exShe gestures for me to ample, I’ve made a sit in the chaise lounge “And if you’re going to label me at all, don’t discreet pocket to while she grabs a hard wands in. My choose something so poncy and uninspired as keep wooden chair and sets sister wants to wear ‘experimental.’ Why can’t I exude pixie-hip- one so badly to keep it down in front of me. her smartphone in, pogriff energy?” “Usually I’m the one but I told her that I’m on the uncomfortable pretty sure it would be chair,” I joke, and we breaking the Statute share a laugh. of Secrecy. And you really ought to take a drink. What about a Firewhisky instead? One won’t It makes sense for Araminta, though, to sit on hurt you.” the undesired chair. She’s always been about the unexpected, about never underestimating Relenting to her attempt to get me off my diet (she’s right, one can’t hurt), I asked her where the odd. And it’s worked, too. Straight out of she got the ideas for her beachwear. She looks Hogwarts, she spent a year as an apprentice for at me oddly. Madame Malkin’s Robes for all Occasions before deeming the place “a little stodgy for my taste” “Why, at the beach, darling!” and starting up her own store. As a Muggleborn, Araminta created clothing that took influence I’m not sure if we’re quite on “darling” terms yet, from both the Muggle and Wizarding world, but she has a point. which was an immediate success. Her first robe collection sold out in four days. “I feel like, too often, designers are just focused on doing what’s always been done, and they never Now, at just 20 years old, Araminta is the youngget to actually experience the fashion. Feel how it est fashion designer to have a major show during enters your soul and twists the fabric of your being. Mouleporc Week, the largest wizarding fashion That’s what I did at the beach. Do you underindustry event in the world, which is where we are now. She’s here to promote her newest collection: stand what I’m trying to say?” 74

FASHION QUIBBLER I don’t know if it was just the firewhisky I had downed at this point, but for some reason, I did. We talk for another hour about her collection. Or rather, Araminta talks, and I listen. Her personal favourite is the Juvenile Ruby-shelled Fire Crab Romper. The colour is vibrant and the fabric protects against accidental magic in young children. She’s also added a Wizard Robe belt and collar, an ornate touch that I don’t think matches and I’m not even sure is sensible. But then again, sensible has never been Araminta’s goal, which I suppose it’s why the romper, for all its ornateness, works. Insensibility was why she started her own brand in the first place. “See, normal robes are fine. I suppose they work and they serve its purpose. But why would you wear things that just serve their purpose? Fashion is an art, and, like any other art, it thrives under open-mindedness and creativity.” To be fair to Araminta, it’s not as if her clothes only serve an aesthetic purpose. After all, she’s just spent an hour discussing the various fabrics and charms she applied onto her garments to make

them as safe as possible. Perhaps, the best word to describe Araminta, then, would not be impractical, but experimental. “Oh, no! I despise labels,” she laughs. “And if you’re going to label me at all, don’t choose something so poncy and uninspired as ‘experimental.’ Why can’t I exude pixie-hippogriff energy?” Fair enough. It’s now almost 8 in the evening, and both of us have things to do. Before we part, I ask her one final question: who’s your biggest inspiration? I expect to hear something sentimental, perhaps even a long testimony that I don’t have time for, like with all of my other interviewees. They say boring things like, dad, or teacher, or older brother, or maybe some old-timey celebrity. Instead, I get an answer that is so typically Araminta that now, looking back, as I edit this article, I can’t believe I was even surprised: “Myself.”

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Magical Plants and Creatures

Interview with the only wizard known to keep *Rowenalis lazuli* the Ravenclaw bug

The sapphire abdomen bug, or Rowenalis lazuli, is a bug that has been sighted since the 16th century, but has only recently been proven to exist. French historians point to the diary of Morgaine, the daughter of the famous alchemist Alaine Duberrie, who wrote about how certain golden and blue fairies would be extra mischievous during dinner. "These fairies seem to know exactly when dinner begins. First, there is a knock on the door, and the servant is sent to see who it is. As the cook leaves, the door to my mother's room closes, and she goes to check. Suddenly, a clink from the study is heard, as if the servant's bell has fallen. My father then goes to check on his things. I then hear a strange shuffling in my room, but think it is the cat. I hesitate to leave, as I am afraid of my room in its current dark condition. The servant lights it after dinner. It is then that I see a streak of gold and blue, sunshine and moonlight, flitter around the dining room. It comes to all the plates that have now been left, with such speed I barely believe it. But not in a showy manner. The fairy seems to be shy, as it does not dance while I look

directly at it. What a curious creature. I told mother about this when she came back, but she did not believe me. I asked her not to eat her food, as she would certainly become a changeling if she did. She told me there was no such thing as adult changelings, and that I should not tell such untrue stories." Of course, Morgaine would grow to become a pioneer in cosmetic concoctions, derived from years of watching her father brew potions and observing the side effects of peregrine feathers and floor powder on her father's complexion.

The Ravenclaw Bug

Today, magical entomologists are better equipped to deal with new insects, especially ones as clever as this bug. Magical entomologist Beedle Zearing was responsible for not only presenting photographic proof that the blue and bronze bug exists in 1934, but subsequently studying their behavior. "I like to call this the Ravenclaw bug, because of their distinct bronze and blue coloring, and because they are brilliant bugs who work in groups. But they do not live in colonies. They just know that the best way to find food,

especially around humans, is to band together to distract people and give each beetle a turn to eat as much food as possible. They communicate primarily through dance, but I have seen them get together and huddle close to each other, almost as if they are discussing a plan while up close. They are just so intelligent!" Beedle is the only known magical entomologist to have successfully invited the Ravenclaw beetles into his house for observations. "The secret was to make sure they understood that I was leaving food for them and that they did not have to trick me to get it. After I noticed the pattern of distraction and flashes of blue and bronze, I realized I was being 'tricked' by a group. I thought the best way to let them know I wanted to share food with them was to cover my eyes and not move. They came close to my face and made such noises in my bedroom, but I did not move and made sure to not threaten them. When I finally opened my eyes, one of them was sitting by my plate, but ready to fly away at any minute. I made sure to get up slowly and brought more food to the table. They do eat flower nectar, but their favorite so far are bright fruits and vegetables.

I have not seen any evidence of them consuming meat." Beedle has not yet had a chance to test the magical properties of the Ravenclaw bug, hesitant to send out the wrong signal to his guests. "I'd call the bugs at my house my guests right now. I have come to their greenhouse room to find up to 32 bugs at once! They no longer zoom by, unless they are playing. They have slowed down now that they are sure they are safe. This is where I see them huddle together as if having conversations." "I have observed them flying around the stained glass, trying to figure out what it was. Bright colors, especially dark blue, are very attractive to them." He adds that his house guests also require great care. "And I make sure to leave food out all the time. That special bug that stayed at my table, I call it Mary, has attracted or invited more bugs as the months passed. In 1934, I was lucky to recognize the buzzing and be close to a camera. I was so happy to prove, even to myself, that they were bugs and not some sort of imp or fairy, as had been believed. But still, I think I was rash. The light from the camera drove them away," he adds sadly. "Years later, I still would think of the creatures. What a surprise when they graced my house again, after 60 years!" "Every day I bring them oranges and passionfruit and make sure that the greenhouse has good blooms. I wonder how many of them I'll have in a month! Mary now has taken to following me around the house, and although it sits on me a few times, it does not like to ride on my shoulder. I have yet to observe any coupling or mating behavior, so I will have to experiment with different substances that they may use to mate or even nest. They are such wonderful creatures!" Beedle is ready to start thinking about what other abilities the animals have. He thinks he can teach them things, from fetching to guarding. He hopes that with this training, he can learn much more about these clever insects.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF

THE MISSING TENGU DISCOVERIES OF CORBIN HEDIADAR

Throughout his years, Corbin Hediadar, with the young Wood Nymph Ash in his pocket, has embarked on journeys of discovery. Some of his discoveries were found on known animals acting differently due to their changing environments, while others show the creature being a different species because of how they have adapted. His Wood Nymph companion is an example of the latter. Then, there are times where creatures need to be protected, as with this case.

A mysterious letter arrived on Corbin’s desk as he was looking at a pile of work on not-soground-breaking-discoveries made by other researchers. The letter seemed to be written with a shaking hand. Haikei Sensei Hediadar Corbin, I am writing to you under strange circumstances that require immediate aid. I have yet to receive word from any other magical government. The mascot for the Quidditch team, the Toyohashi Tengu, has disappeared, as have all the Tengu in Japan. Our ministry is overwhelmed by many reports of the kidnappers and would like aid. The head of my department is so overwhelmed with this that he is unable to do much else beyond talking to reporters and the Minister. I have tried to get him to sign official documents asking for aid in other countries, but Greece, India, Russia, and several other places have their own problems. As this crime has yet to hit Britain shores, I am asking you to come and aid us. Keigu, Arakawa Chouko, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures of Japan Corbin ran to the head and requested

department permission

to travel. Even though the head was still a little salty after Corbin’s actions with the Wood Nymphs, he saw nothing coming of this investigation as it was the normal time of year for Tengu mating, so he granted his permission. Corbin packed his bags and headed to Japan. Upon arriving, Chouko greeted him, her own department head next to her. She looked shyly at the ground while her boss looked at Corbin. Both looked tired, and the man seemed to be looking around every corner for reporters. Both bowed deeply, which Corbin mimicked. However, when the department head spoke, it was clear he did not speak English. “Ms. Arakawa had to translate everything the department head said,” Corbin explained to our Quibbler reporter. “However, it didn’t take long to learn that the Tengu could normally be found at the top of Mount Fuji at this time of year for their mating season, but the mountain was suspiciously empty. I went to the area to test it and found that there were strange flowers added to the area, a species not native to the area. Not only that, but it also seemed to be a faux flower, emanating a scent that was abhorrent to the Tengu. Ms. Arakawa and I began gathering as many of these flowers as we

could. The head of the department had several other officials search the rest of the mountain as well as all known areas that Tengu lived. The operation took many weeks, but eventually, every flower was found.” Yet, the Tengu did not return. Corbin left the study of the faux plant to the Japanese Ministry, knowing the care the witches and wizards in the Department of Magical Flora would take in their examinations. As Corbin was not the best in Herbology at Hogwarts, he knew he would mess up more than give aid when it came to the strange plant. While they studied the scent and how the flower was made, Corbin traveled to Greece, visiting the Maiden of Wood Nymphs on his way to the Greecian Ministry to see if they had also found the strange flower. “It had white petals with blue tips and light pink near the center,” Corbin described. “This is a color that is difficult to create, let alone the three-color gradients on the petals. Other than the petals, nothing was out of the ordinary. It is because of the three different colors that I say it is a faux flower, but it looks genuine otherwise.” The Greecian Minister was happy to see Corbin and share information on the Wood Nymphs, but when talking about the missing Harpies the Minister was

oddly silent. That is when the Captain of the Hollyhead Harpies walked in. She was visiting in hopes of finding a new Harpy to have as a mascot, but none were to be found. She said that the flower Corbin had described had been found in their mascot’s nest, and the Minister said that such flowers had been appearing in other areas as well. The missing Garuda in India had similar flowers, as the Indian team, the Ghats Garuda, reported finding a large bouquet of such flowers had been delivered to their mascot a month prior. With all this, there is only one question that remained: who wants to get rid of all creatures that are half-bird and halfhuman? Corbin traveled back to Japan to meet with Ms. Arakawa, who sent an owl to inform him of a breakthrough.

Corbin apparated back to Japan, followed by the Greecian Minister. They were met by the Japanese and Indian Ministers, who were discussing plans. Corbin had a hard time understanding what was happening at times but got most of the plan in the end. “I had to stop the plan,” he explained. “They were going to bait the culprit with a baby tengu! To put a creature in danger when it can’t fly or protect itself! The Japanese Minister and Indian Minister were arguing over it, as the Indian Minister considered the risk acceptable but the Japanese Minister mentioned that there had to be a way to keep the baby safe. The Greecian Minister said nothing as he had no idea how to help anyway. When the newly hatched tengu was presented, Ms. Arakawa held it. It had imprinted on her, and she protected it as any mother would. I knew then that I… I greatly admired her for how she cared for creatures. She tried to make them see reason but she was forced to place the tiny harpy on a table in front of the ministers. It looked like a baby, with wings and a beak. Before anyone could stop me, I grabbed the harpy baby and began running. Ms. Arakawa was in the

hall, crying, and saw me. She fell in step behind me as we made our way out of the ministry. We became fugitives at that moment. But to put an infant, creature or not, in danger, is abhorrent to me.” They had to sneak around to find a good hiding place to care for the baby harpy. Ms. Arakawa was grateful to Corbin for saving her charge and feeding the baby. They talked about why such a flower would have been created, and what kind of person would use it. “Infant down is much sought after in various places,” Corbin said. “We talked about how there had been a few reports of fake infant down pillows, cloaks, and blankets in the market last winter. The infant down from legitimate products use naturally molted feathers, keeping their magical qualities. However, cruel business people have started to simply remove the feathers before the infants shed them. The feathers have a stronger magical quality, but the infants can perish faster if not properly cared for. It is devastating and illegal. That is when Ms. Arakawa got the idea that the flowers could be used by

smugglers in order to trap the half-birds in a specific area. The number of people needed to do something like that had to be large. That is when Ms. Arakawa pulled out a map, showing all the places on Mount Fuji that flowers had been found. It did look like a trap. The smell was designed specifically for these creatures, as no other magical creature was affected. With this information, I contacted the British minister. I got a good chewing out, but after explaining the situation I was granted insight in documents about down cloaks, pillows, and blankets. There had been a large number put on the market as winter was ending, all from a company that had a hidden background.” The Minister had several people look into the company, resulting in some interesting information, including that there were a large number of Tengu, Garuda, and Harpy on their farms. It was this revelation that helped Corbin come to the conclusion that the shady company, run by a squib from a prominent wizarding family, was the culprit. With the Japanese, Indian, and Greek Ministries informed, Corbin and Ms. Arakawa carried a bundle into the forest, a decoy for the smugglers. As suspected, the squib, Ms. Arakawa’s own brother, appeared to get the last free Tengu in Japan. He was caught for illegal activities. Many

Magizoologists were dispatched to care for the injured creatures. As a result and care of all the creatures, Corbin and Ms. Arakawa were both given the distinct honor of becoming part of the Order of Merlin, Third Class. “I tried to turn them down,” Corbin said. “All I did was what I thought was right, but they refused to take no for an answer. It’s an honor, really, but I have not done much in the way of earning it. I mean, I replaced myself as the bait so that a baby creature wasn’t injured. It worked out fine. If the culprit had been a wizard, I would have been in trouble.” The flowers, a strange creation made using alchemy and spells, have been examined and studied thoroughly. They have been classified ‘creation’ as they can’t be grown in the natural world, instead needing magical help to grow properly. All Tengu, Harpy, and Garuda were returned once properly healed, and more regulations were put in place for products that contain products from creatures to ensure the safety of the creatures. Corbin and Ms. Arakawa gave aid in creating the new regulations, which will go into effect later this year.

Magical Plants & Creatures

RARE ROWENALIS LAZULI SPOTTED IN LAKE DISTRICT Lake District, UK - On the 19th of April 2020

Bill Worthsword and Samantha Ridgecole were enjoying the many beautiful sights of the lake district when they suddenly saw a flash of blue on one of the old, crumbled walls nearby the road. “I don’t remember who noticed it first,” Samantha later reported to the

Quibbler. “But we were both curious, so we walked over to check it out. I’m so happy that we did, because never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped to see a Rowenalis Lazuli in real life!” The two Ravenclaw alumni could indeed never have thought they would

see this bug in real life, five years after leaving Hogwarts. “We recognised the bug immediately,” Bill continued. “I mean, we had been looking at that patterned wallpaper for seven years straight!” It is no surprise that the wallpaper of the Ravenclaw dorms contains a Rowenalis Lazuli pattern. Rowena Ravenclaw, after all, was the one to first discover this elusive magical dragonfly during one of her trips near Cockermouth. Most of what is known about the bug still directly originates from Rowena’s own research, which lost until Beedle Zearing, the other main source on these beautiful bugs, found some of her writing during his research into the animals whilst trying to attract them to his greenhouse. It turns out she called the animals ‘Rowena Odonata’, and writes that the creature inspired her choice for the Ravenclaw house colours. The species is shy and rather good at hiding, making Zearing’s greenhouse-collection incredibly unique. The Rowenalis Lazuli measures about 5-9 centimetres long, with an average wingspan of 11 cm. Little is known about their reproductive process, though it is speculated that their lifespan ranges from 4 to 8 years, depending on the weather. They feed on fruit, nectar and vegetables. They are immune to summoning or stunning spells, and, in flight, can reach speeds of up to 150 miles per hour, using its two biggest wings to gain speed and its smallest wing for navigation. When asleep, its bronze wings cover its blue

back-end, making it incredibly difficult to spot. The dragonfly’s rarity is enhanced by their potent magical use: any spells cast in the vicinity of a Rowenalis Lazuli will be thrice as powerful if the caster wants it, although this will severely weaken and potentially kill the creature. Because of their highly endangered status, they are illegal to catch, hunt or sell, an exception being made for Mr Zearing’s valuable research, as he has taken an Unbreakable Vow not to harm the animals. “I am so happy I took my camera with me! I managed to snatch a beautiful picture of it! I will definitely treasure this moment forever.” “That she will!” Bill laughed at that, nodding at Samantha’s gorgeous engagement ring. “I took her to the Lake District to propose, but I fear I was upstaged by that dragonfly!” He says it in good-hearted jest, though. “It made an already amazing day even more perfect. And what a story to tell!” The Lake District is currently being guarded by several specialised Preservation Squad wizards and witches, making sure the Lazuli stays safe. Magical Researchers have been called in to see if there are more of these bugs in the area, and if so, what the best ways of protecting them are. The Quibbler heartily congratulates Bill and Samantha with their engagement.

Seaweed Dragons are gentle creatures and have been researched extensively by Rolf Scamander and his more famous grandfather, Newt Scamander. Seaweed Dragons measure two meters long at maturity and are known for their green tangled manes that wrap around the beast. The Dragons come in a variety of colours, but are most commonly found in the shade of Emerald Green with golden

eyes. The beasts mate for life and hardly breathe fire. The most important thing to remember about Seaweed Dragons is that they have poor eyesight and often become lost at night with cauldron fire dominating beaches in recent years. Please be sure to keep your wand and cauldron fire usage at a minimum when around these creatures.

Seaweed Dragon Nesting Season Beachgoers and sunbathers alike this summer can be prepared to watch out for Seaweed Dragon Nesting sites on stretches of sand. As the temperatures heat up, Seaweed Dragons begin to settle down and incubate their eggs in the cool sands along the east coast of North America and the U.K.

Seaweed Dragon Nesting Season begins June 1st and ends on August 31st. Onlookers are welcome to watch the dragons, but please do not disturb their nests. 88

INSERT QUIBBLER

A Kiss From Not A Rose

Chills down my spine Terror divine

Horrors do unwind Welcome to summertime Often I thought we'd meet

Pavement under pounding feet Destiny is bittersweet I become your summer treat Here to you I bare my soul Waiting here takes its toll This never was my goal From me, the summer stole Eyes closed I fly Heart racing I cry

Fists clench I have to try In my ear, summer breezes sigh Rattling breath from far away Drawing closer, dare I stay

I promise there'll be hell to pay Strands from time's quilt fray Now in my breath

"Not Today"

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The Virus Sensation! By TheSCP_3008 As you all may have noticed, there has been a new virus spreading around the world which is called the Coronavirus (COVID-19). It started off in China, something the Chinese Ministry of Magic has finally revealed, a week after the muggles had been informed. Countries are on lockdown and I would hope you, too, all are safe in your homes. Businesses have been slowing down as well, and although it is summer, I would hope that you take your vacation in your homes as the International Confederation of Wizards tries to conduct safety measures. To all new students starting in wizarding schools, there is a lack of new wands as wand woods that have been transported have stopped coming. Schools have continued as per normal though. However, instead of hopping on the train to your school, the MoM has announced that schools are to conduct fireplace education for an unknown period of time. In the meantime, try to put virus protection spells around your home and stay safe. If one should experience dry coughing, itches or a fever, you should send an owl to the nearest healer. On a lighter note, endangered species have made their way back into the wilderness, especially in China. Creatures like mooncalves and streelers have been spotted. This, however, has worried the International Confederation of Wizards as it shows that while we are quarantined, other creatures that are bigger and more dangerous may escape and return to the wild. So stay safe and stay healthy!

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lthough the Battle of Hogwarts seems to have been fought so long ago, it is important that we take time to remember all the lives that were lost. As most may know, the Battle of Hogwarts, fought on 2 May 1998, resulted in the final defeat of You-KnowWho. The historic school faced devastating damage brought by the Death Eaters, giants, monsters, and You-Know-Who himself. What happened between Harry Potter, otherwise known as The Boy Who Lived, and You-Know-Who in the Forbidden Forest just before he was defeated is still a mystery to this day. Sources have reported that You-Know-Who had created multiple Horcruxes which caused him to so nearly escape death in Godric’s Hollow on Halloween, 16 years before his final downfall. Many mysteries still lie within the grounds of Hogwarts school, containing what really happened that dreadful night. In memory of the over 50 lives lost that night and so many others who died fighting off You-Know-Who’s forces for years, the Ministry recently held a wand lighting on May the 2nd in Hogsmeade. Hogwarts students above the second year who had permission to visit the village were also permitted to attend this

event. The turn-out exceeded all expectations with over 300 people in attendance. It was a beautiful tribute and unforgettable event that will likely, according to Ministry sources, become an annual event. In addition, George Weasley, twin brother to Fred Weasley who passed away during the Battle, and owner of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, held a 30% off flash sale for the week of May the 3rd. Profits were tremendous and Mr. Weasley has informed the Ministry that he will be donating 1000 Galleons to the Dark Arts Defence League. Within Hogwarts, all classes were cancelled on Friday, May 1st. A feast was held that evening in memoriam, a tradition brought about by Headmistress Minerva McGonagall during her first term as head of the school. Lastly, it is essential that although You-Know-Who is gone, we must remain watchful and safe. Remember to cherish your loved ones often and let this serve as a reminder of unity within the Wizarding world.

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Ministry Wizard Left Defenceless Against Muggle Pranks

Ministry wizard Harold Serpo, who has spent the last seven years pushing for a robes-only dress code, was reported do have stormed into the building today, complaining of “nonmagical, Muggle-like harassment of the most undesirable nature.” Over the past month and a half, Mr. Serpo has been “pied” in the face, hit by projectiles filled with a substance our Modern Muggle Culture expert referred to only as “slime”, and had the

entire floor of his dwelling covered in goblets filled with water, to name a few. “Of course my intruder charms didn’t go off. They weren’t doing any magic to pick up, were they?” Said Serpo in response to his continued failure to find the perpetrators. However, there is speculation that Serpo’s charms were simply incorrectly cast. Reporter Janith Stonemason interviewed several Hogwarts students about the matter. 93

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“Did they really do that to him?” asked one student, looking surprised. “Well, it serves him right. Everyone knows he was a low-ranking Death Eater, and he spent a good part of his career advocating against the Minister of Magic.” Moreover, it seems that Serpo’s colleagues at the Ministry feel the same. “Ol’ Harold? Well, he’s right useless and twice as nasty,” remarked Dennis Creevey, Obliviator. “I remember he was a right arse. I believe he was Sorted the year after the Triwizard, going off

about how he could have won at eleven. And for the pranks, he should have been able to Transfigure his way out of it.” It seems that Harold Serpo doesn’t share this sentiment, as he has requested everyone- from the Experimental Charms office to the Aurorshelp weed the pranksters out. In a rarely sensible move for the Ministry, the heads of offices have refused. Field reporter yellowroseredd

Family of Turkish Long-Tails Found on Mount Ararat By /u/jamsin_11 Last year, Magizoology student Reveles Rimor discovered a new species of dragon the Turkish Ministry of Magic dubbed ‘Turkish Long-Tail’ (see The Quibbler Winter Issue 2020 for more details); a pearly, electric-blue baby dragon with an unusually long and smooth tail called Lenis. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures has been searching for months to no avail but on the 10th of May (Mother’s Day) 2020, Elmas Dağ, a new 22-yearold Ministry recruit, finally has confirmed that the Turkish Long-Tail is indeed a species. Almost right at the tip of Mt. Ararat, but in a shelter shielded from the public eye, Elmas discovered two fully-grown adult Long-Tails, eight healthy dragon children, and three unhatched eggs (see below for descriptions). The children were significantly bigger than Lenis, who may be the runt of the litter. She informed the Ministry after casting a shield spell around the dragons, and representatives brought them in for studying. The children were the same as Lenis; a considerably short snout, pearly light blue scales, light 94

grey-blue eyes and an outstandingly long and smooth tail. The eggs also matched hers; the same grey-blue as her eyes and emerald speckles, but the adults were a bit different. The adults still had the signature smooth, very long tail, but also had a much deeper shade of sapphire scales and had developed mesmerising swirls of violet. Their scarlet fire also had an accent of violet swirls. “The swirls,” said a Turkish Ministry representative, “we think are a hunting mechanism, designed to hypnotise prey for an easy catch.” The Turkish Ministry also confirmed that this is indeed a new breed of dragon, and not a crossbreed like they initially thought. “Cross-breeds are all very different,” the spokesperson said. “These dragons fit all the requirements to be classified as a breed.” The Quibbler, and indeed the rest of the world, are wondering what this means to society.

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ELFIE’S DUST FOR YOUR SOUL

Written by Milomi10.

Mark Winston, a 43 year old Muggle, was recently found roaming around King’s Cross station, claiming that he was a wizard and selling Edward Dwayne’s Dazzling Elfie’s Dust to strangers. Some passed by him, thinking he was stupid, but others actually bought some of the product. Winston apparently went around asking everyone if they wanted some ‘Elfie’s Dust for their soul’. Believe it or not, even some of our very own wizards were tempted to buy this dust! Those include Diagon Alley shop owner George Weasley - who confidently paid Winston and bought a sack of dust.

Dust is supposedly a dust that cures your pains and boosts your brain! All you have to do is take a pinch of the dust and mix it in with your milk every other day. This is just another fake item sold by Muggles, possibly some sort of trend they have going on. Apart from this dust, we found that the non-magic folk also sell Marvelous Mermaids’ Middies - which are sold as blouses of mermaids; Precious Healing Potions - brews claiming to cure all future illnesses; Radiant Rings - that can fend off evil spirits; and Glowing Glasses - that give you the ability to see into someone’s mind.

Later, in an exclusive interview, George Weasley told us he bought the dust for another reason, a very special one, which we will be sharing at the end, so hang tight on your broomsticks!

We interviewed another witch who claims that all of this is utter nonsense. Minister of Magic Hermione Granger was disgusted at Muggles as well as Winston over their sales, but was not able to do anything.

After some checking, we gleaned this bit of information: Edward Dwayne’s Dazzling Elfie’s

“Muggles these days! Do they realize that every interpretation of the magical world of theirs, ev95

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ery rumour, is nothing but another fling of mud towards our very existence? No, I don’t think their own President will ever listen to me. Their behavior is unacceptable. It is one thing to claim that one is a wizard, and another to fool people into buying your false goods.”

Till then, let’s get back to George Weasley, who has a very big secret to tell us all. If you are reading this, you are trusted. “If you send the Ministry an owl, you’ll be disowned by me, and this was a joke. Now to the rest of it,” he continued.

“Also, George Weasley, you know you shouldn’t be doing that! I will hunt you down, you just wait, “I actually visited Mark Winston and I bought I will…” loads of Dust off of him. I will be using this as two things. One: something to sell at my shop. Mrs. Granger went on after that, but our camera- I may or may not add something to it. Eh, you man and reporter did not. know me, I probably won’t!” Muggles have been doing this for ages. They call it marketing, a way to mint money. Few of you might find this surprising, but Muggles have another side. Arthur Weasley was invited to speak about this on the radio, and you can tune onto Wizard’s Words in the evening to catch his show. Mark Winston lives in an apartment with his wife Joanne, and their two kids. We observed him (in secret) for a week, and we learned that he sells these items on a daily basis. He changes location every day, to get more customers. His bargaining skills are one to match. He convinced another Muggle to buy his Dust for ten pounds when it wasn’t worth even one! Winston makes his products using ordinary, everyday materials and adds some colour to make them seem magical. He used sawdust, sand, and his wife’s dye and glitter to make Elfie’s Dust. The smart Muggle doesn’t accept returns and dresses up in robes to seem more like a wizard. The Parvati twins however, disapprove of his weird fashion, and believe he could do with a fashion magazine. According to them, Mark looks more like a “dishevelled animal wrapped with an old blanket”. Mrs. Granger is considering talking to the Muggle President and informing him of this scandal. We are hanging on to every bit of information we get from the Ministry regarding this event. 96

“Also, I have already done this, so no harm in telling the whole world about it. I added some ingredients to the Dust as well as enchanted it to stick to your clothes and house, and stink for a month. I also made this dust brown, and then I went to Ron and Hermione’s house. And as a small gesture, a getback, I doused their whole house and belongings in this dust!” “The best thing is that they don’t know yet!” George dissolved into laughter at this point, so our reporters left him. That is all you need to know about Mark Winston and some reactions. Spoiler: Hermione did hunt down George and she almost killed him! So here’s some advice: Elfie’s Dust for your soul, is both - a blessing and a curse.

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IMMUTATIO: THE NEW SENSATIONAL SPELL AND MORE

Written by Milomi Spells and charms are the one thing that are constantly being invented. Each spell is designed to either make your life easier, or hex someone, or do some weird thing we never thought could be done! A week ago, wizard Samuel H. Norton invented a new spell that makes Muggles see you as a Muggle, but you are really not. It’s like an illusion to reality. If Immutatio (the spell) actually works, then we would no longer have to worry about Muggles sighting us, or underage magic, or some mistakes we always make. This could be the next big thing and as you are reading this, a bunch of wizards and witches are trying out this spell all over the country in Muggle neighbourhoods! To cast this spell, you have to stand still on one leg and point your wand at yourself while saying, ‘Immutatio!’ If this is pronounced or performed wrongly, you might end up half-paralysed and unable to move. If you would like to perform this spell on an object, you would stand in front of the object, place one hand on it and utter the spell. Once the spell is cast, it will last for seven hours. It will make Muggles see you as though you are a normal person without colour-changing robes, the Daily Prophet where pictures move, or anything else that may set you apart.

If this spell is performed on a Muggle, the Muggle will experience dizziness and feel nauseated, so do not do that. Warning: we know this for sure, it was tried. As a trial, Norton walked around the Muggle neighbourhood setting off Filibuster’s Fireworks and throwing Leprechaun gold around. Apparently, the Muggles treated him as though he was selling candy and throwing confetti all over the place. Our reporters used this spell to speak with Muggles as well. Immutatio might be the biggest breakthrough in spells and charms so far, and we were also able to interview Samuel H. Norton himself. It was difficult to contact him, as his new hobby is now roaming around Muggle cities, disguised as another person. “I have got to say, I never thought that a spell would be such a big deal. Actually, the idea struck me in a very odd way.” “I had a dream that I was solving a scavenger hunt and I had Apparated to a city in India, I think it started with M? Then, I was walking down the street, and it was so crowded! I was supposed to find a gate, but my memory is not that great.”

“But I had taken out my wand, and I thought it would be easier if I flew over the city. So However, if you cast another spell while under I summoned my Nimbus, and I have no clue the effects of Immutatio, the effect starts wearing how it flew across countries… how did that happen Lucy?” off and you lose half an hour of effectiveness. This should be kept in mind at all times. 97

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Lucy is our reporter. We circled back to the topic after reaching a tangent. “So I hopped onto my broomstick and the Muggles were staring at me. I tilted it upwards and they still stared, and they started shouting. They started pulling me down and someone even brought a match box? They wanted to burn me to death! I was innocent, Lucy! I was INNOCENT!!!” “And I thought what if a spell made all that disappear? Wouldn’t that just make the nightmare stop? And heh, guess what? It did!” Like they say, inspiration strikes anywhere and anytime.

4. Do you make sense? Try talking to another wizard/witch and give them a brief of your spell. Warning: DO NOT give them all the information. Plagiarism is a very common crime. If they think it’s good, then you need to keep working, till you come to the idea that they call ‘amazing’ and not simply ‘good’. Good is the worst compliment you can get. But don’t cry. You’ll wet the magazine. 5. Did you pick your words carefully? Your spell or charm has to sound regal and royal. It has to sound crisp, yet a bit loose so that it can roll across one’s tongue. It has to sound short, but not as short that one forgets it. It has to sound loud so one can say it clearly, yet not so soft that it is inaudible. Oh, and it has to sound sweet, but also angry to intimidate someone.

After sitting with Norton for hours, and directing him away from tangents we came up with a questionnaire to help you make your own spell. This is what Muggles call DIY, Do-It-Yourself- though 6. Did you try your spell/charm? that would be ridiculous, how can you do someIf you don’t try your spell on different subthing without your wand? jects, there may be some side effects that may occur, which you do not want. Unless it is a Anyway, we present you the ultimate questionnaire: hex or jinx. In that case, any side effect (except for healing) is welcome. 1. Are you smart? If yes, then that’s great, because you need to 7. Are you ready to become famous? be smart to create your own spell. I hope you said no! You should know very well that people who invent spells cannot 2. What is a problem you face everyday? possibly become famous. Do you know who This might help you get some ideas about invented Lumos Maxima or who invented what your spell would be doing. Warning: be Oculus Reparo? And no Ravenclaws, we did sure to not take someone else’s idea and use NOT ask you! However, do not let me crush other words. The Ministry has already sued your dreams. I’m not that cruel. some people for doing that. I’m looking forward to seeing your name in the 3. Is there a library nearby? Daily Prophet, if you have high hopes of course. If there is no library, you are doomed. If yes, then prepare to live there for the next few months. Read every book you can find that is about spells and charms so you get an idea of how to invent one. If you are bored, you can always send an owl to the Ministry of Magic and they can help you! 98

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YOUR GUIDE TO YOGA

or a very long time, Muggles have been obsessing over a practice called yoga. The word ‘yoga’ may sound weird to you, but who are we to judge! We have weird names for every animal, spell and- well, everything.

According to Odell Quill, a well-known wizard and sports coach, we must pursue yoga to live the perfect life. He said so in his interview, so here is your guide to yoga and what you’re supposed to do!

The word ‘yoga’ is derived from the Sanskrit root called ‘yug’ (pronounced yoog). ‘Yug’ means balance, the most important thing in yoga, which helps you to achieve mental, physical and spiritual balance.

The very first thing you should do is change into something comfortable. You need not drape yourself with robes and cloaks of all colour. If you want to wear shoes, wear sneakers or sport shoes.

In simple words, yoga is meditation. In yoga, one performs different poses and takes different postures to calm the mind. It is an ancient Indian practice and is still pursued by some. Now, you may think that this ‘yoga’ is only for Muggles and that we wizards and witches have all the balance we need.

Warning: Avoid wearing tight clothes. They might rip.

You may have seen this coming, but even we need yoga. We need to calm down too, without Butterbeer or Firewhiskey or whichever drink is trending (I haven’t kept up with recent times).

Preferably, one should perform yoga either in the morning or in the evening. Secondly, sit on a mat or a rug. Don’t get distracted by anything. If anyone dies, you’ll get an owl, so relax. Sit cross-legged and close your eyes. If you are in the mood, you can play some soft instrumental music in the background. 99

Then, don’t think about anything as you take deep breaths. Breathe in for 5 counts, and then breathe out for 5 counts. Fill your lungs with as much air as you are able to, then let it out slowly. Continue doing this for 5 minutes. You will start feeling calmed down, and more at peace. That’s a good sign! Our second position is similar to this. Sit crosslegged, but put your right leg on your left thigh and your left leg on your right leg. If you aren’t able to keep both your legs on your thighs, then just keep one. Take 10 deep breaths and relax. More tips and postures are coming up, but before that, we have Ms. Luna Lovegood telling us how yoga benefitted her and helped her see Nargles. ‘Yoga helped me and I felt free. You should do it too. You’ll get lost in the freedom and peace that you’ll find. You’ll be able to dance freely like a leaf in the breeze. And you’ll feel like this…’ At this moment, Luna grabbed our reporter and started dancing to an unheard song. Back to yoga! After you finish your breathing exercise for 5 minutes, proceed to stand. Then, raise your hands in the air and make sure they are straight. Go on your tiptoes and raise yourself as much as you can. Then go back to your feet flat on the ground. Go up and down in this fashion for 3 minutes. Warning: Don’t be self-conscious. It might not work out otherwise and you’ll end up embarrassed. Next, you are going to kneel down and try to touch your head to the ground. Don’t push yourself or break a limb. Stay in this pose for 30 seconds. Warning: Do not strain yourself or else you might end up in St. Mungos! It has happened to someone, so I might as well warn you. For our fifth exercise, you will be bending and trying to catch your feet. If you can’t reach your toes, then catch your ankles or your calves. Touch your toes fifteen times. Each time, you will stretch your arms in the air and 100

then proceed to touch your toes. If you aren’t very fast, don’t worry and take your time. Once that is done, catch your feet and count till ten - slowly. Then let go. Do this three times. After this, you will be lying down on your back with your feet in the air vertically above you. This is also called the candle pose. Raise your hips to align your body with your legs. Use your hands to prop your body up. Hold this pose for 30 seconds. Every time you do yoga, gradually increase the time you hold this pose for. Warning: Again, do not strain yourself! Now, you will lie down on your stomach. Prop yourself up with your hands and plant them firmly on the ground. Arch your spine and you might feel like a lion. Hold this pose for 20 seconds and then relax. And last but not the least, lie flat down on your back and spread your legs in a V. Keep your arms by your side, palms facing up. Close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly. Rest and relax your body. Stay like this for 5 to 10 minutes, but you can stay longer if you like. There you have it! Eight poses, and you have been calmed down! It is almost like magic, come to think of it. A set of poses that calm your mind and make you happy. Luna Lovegood recommends this, and when it comes to these things, I would listen to her. And of course Odell Quill. Yoga helps control your mind, in a better way than Occlumency. It helps identify the ‘me, myself and I’. It helps to bring yourself together and manage all your stress. Yes, we are all stressed. We won the war, and we are still stressed. But hey, everyone has a routine. So no worries! With that, let us embrace the beauty of yoga, and of balance. Let us take a step towards identifying who we are. Let us take some time away from the world, and spend some time finding ourselves. Written by Milomi.

WIZARD CHARMS BALL DURING MUGGLE GAME Widespread panic and confusion prevailed on Thursday in Bermondsey as a football game had to be discontinued because the ball kept wildly misbehaving. Jacob Wright, a wizard who was spectating the game along with his friend Dean Thomas, had reportedly used a sticking charm on the ball because he thought the match was ‘boring’. The game between second division football teams Millwall and Swindon Town was abruptly called off 25 minutes after the start of play as Matt Smith, a forward on the Millwall team, had the ball stuck to his feet after receiving a pass. Nobody on the pitch could take the ball away from his leg despite all their efforts. The 2000 odd muggle spectators said that they were eager to watch the game and were enraged that it had to be called off. A few of them got into a brawl over the incident claiming the other team to be cheating, but they were quickly separated by the local police. The Improper Use of Magic office took notice of the event and Mafalda Hopkirk arrived at the stadium within the hour. She took Jacob’s statement and also used the Priori Incantatem charm to check if he had indeed caused the ruckus. She refused to comment on the issue and said that an official statement would be released by her office later today.

Jacob seems to be pleading guilty and is claiming that nobody saw him perform the charm, arguing this means the punishment should not be severe. Even though most muggles present did not seem to notice anything abnormal with Jacob or his actions, all of them did notice the ball getting stuck to a player’s foot and refusing to budge. Given that this was an important match within the county, it received adequate coverage from muggle media and would be published in their papers as well. Additionally, a wizard had to be rushed in, dubbed as an ‘expert doctor’, to reverse the charm. All this will probably be taken into account before a decision is made by the Improper Use of Magic office as to how Jacob Evans should be punished.

Football is basically the quidditch of the muggle world, meaning this is not something that will be casually brushed off by the muggles. Interaction might be needed between the minister of magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt and the muggle prime minister to calm the situation. One thing to remember: if you’re bored, please don’t go around charming objects in muggle games. Just go watch some quidditch or quodpot instead.

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Ranking The Top Ten Best Broomsticks of 2020

nother year, another batch of broomsticks. But which one to pick? Bloodtooth II is super fast, but does it have the maneuverability of the Thunderbolt X? Which is more important? Here at The Quibbler, we are counting down the top ten best broomsticks of the year so you don’t have to! Here is the ultimate guide to the year’s best broomsticks, with a complete list of stats and reviews along with our expert opinions.

10. Bloodtooth II Price: 70 Galleons

Stats: • Speed: 10 • Maneuverability: 5 • Durability: 10 • Lightness: 4 • Comfort: 1 • Safety: 0 Overall: 5 Our expert opinion: Bloodtooth is a very fitting name, to say the least. With such a high speed and durability, you would think this broom would be a bit higher on our list, right? Unfortunately, you can’t always get the best of both worlds. This broom is fast. And I mean fast. Once you kick off the ground, it is game over for your opponents! Unfortunately, it is game over for you, as well. Once you reach top speed, the broom is very difficult to control. One wrong move, and you might as well fly yourself straight to St.Mungo’s yourself. The broom is also not very comfortable to sit on for long periods of time, though the handle is very smooth (which makes it just that much harder to hold on to). But hey, if you plan on getting on this broom and moving in only one direction for your entire flight, it is not so bad! It will get you to your destination very, very quickly. Honestly, we don’t see how this broom made it past the testing phase. But we are very excited to see what this newer company has in store for 2021! Reviews: • “I fell 350 feet off this broom. I broke both my legs, my arm, and half my ribcage. My broom? Not a scratch!”

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“I bought this as a surprise gift for my daughter. She loved it! Unfortunately, I had to return it because she kept losing control and crashing into trees at full speed. My fault for letting her fly near trees, I know! But after our third trip to St.Mungo’s in a day, enough was enough. But their customer service was excellent, I got a full refund! And not a single mark on the broom!” “This broom seemed like it was really cool. And it is, but I have to wrap myself in bubblewrap before I get on it! Honestly, I wonder how this broom is even legal!” “Did you know that you could break every single bone in your body while playing quidditch? Neither did I. I have learned a lot from this broomstick.”

9.Coldflyer

Price: 50 galleons Stats: • Speed: 4 • Maneuverability: 9 • Durability: 8 • Lightness: 3 • Comfort: 5 • Safety:10 Overall: 6.5 Our expert opinion: As with the broomstick at the bottom of our list, Coldflyer is a very fitting name. This broom is by far the slowest broom of the year. Part of it stems from how it is so heavy. We cannot imagine how long it would take to drag it from the broom shed onto the Quidditch pitch. By the time you would have done so, your practice would be over! Unlike the last broom, it is very easy to control. You won’t be able to get very far off the ground, nor will you be able to keep up with anyone else on the field, but at least you will save yourself a trip to the Hospital Wing. Well, you might develop some sores from how uncomfortable this broom is. But hey, we would take that over a concussion, any day! Reviews: • “This broom is great for children. It is slow, easy to move, and very safe. It is the first broom that my 7 year old has yet to fall off of! I would never ride it myself, as, well, it is 103

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pretty boring to say the least. But if it saves me a trip to the Healer’s Office, I’ll take it!” “This broom sucks. Slowest thing I have ever ridden, and it hurts my butt.” “I bought this broom because my mom made me buy the one with the highest safety rating. Honestly, I would be better off with the brooms at the bottom of the Hogwarts broom shed! I can’t keep up with anyone else on the field, and it is so embarrassing!”

8.Feverclap 648 Price: 30 Galleons

Stats: • Speed: 8 • Maneuverability: 7 • Durability: 3 • Lightness: 8 • Comfort: 8.5 • Safety: 6 Overall: 6.9 Our expert opinion: This broom is fantastic, if you want to replace it once a month! This broom performs well in almost every category. It is lightweight, itis fast, it is super comfortable, and easy to do dives, turns, and dodges. But the second you let a bludger hit your broom, you are done for. 104

If you want to keep this broom in good shape, you are going to have to put in a lot of work. The shine wears off almost immediately, the bristles fall out all the time, and there’s cracks and dents left after every single hit. But if you are the type of player who likes to keep away from the action and just fly around in circles off up in the sky somewhere, then this is a great broom for you! This broom is on the cheaper end, which explains the durability (actually it is the cheapest broom on our list!). It really is a bang for your buck, as its the fastest broom you can get for under 50 galleons. But if you want something that is going to last you a little while longer, it might be worth it to invest in a better quality broom. Reviews: • “This broom fell apart after I was hit by a bludger for the first time. I was able to repair it, but only once or twice before it was completely unusable. I am really upset, because it was such a fast broom, and for such a great piece!” • “What a BANG for your buck! Oh! My! God! I have never flown so fast before!” • “I hit a tree once and the broom shattered. So did my elbow. Not worth the cheap price tag.”

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7.Silver Bird

Price: 70 Galleons Stats: • Speed: 7 • Maneuverability: 7 • Durability: 7 • Lightness: 7 • Comfort: 7 • Safety: 7 Overall: 7 Our expert opinion: Coming in at number 7, we have ourselves some lucky number 7s! Straight across the board! First of all, this broom is gorgeous! It is sleek, it is silver, it is marvelously monochrome. If there were an aesthetics category, this broom would definitely be a 10! Silver Bird is a brand-new broomstick company, so we did not have very high expectations. Boy, were we blown out of the water! We have absolutely no complaints about this broom! But at the same time, there is not much that really stands out. But you will definitely be in safe hands, and there’s no sacrificing quality for one category over the other here! We are very excited to see where this company goes in the next few years after such a great start.

Reviews: • “This is my lucky broom! I have never lost a Quidditch match while flying it. Knock on (Oliver) Wood!” • “I have never heard of this model before, and for good reason. It is a pretty mediocre broom. It is nice and all, but nothing really special about it stands out to me.” • “I have no complaints about this broom! It is a lot safer than my old one, not as fast, but a lot more comfortable!”

6.Bronzefever Price: 95 Galleons

Stats: • Speed: 9 • Maneuverability: 7 • Durability: 6 • Lightness: 9 • Comfort: 10 • Safety: 4 Overall: 7.7 Our expert opinion: Okay, this is the comfiest broom there is! Seriously. I could park my butt on it all. day. long. (In fact, I may or may not be writing this article while sitting on this broom, hovering at my desk. Do not tell my boss.) Or rather, I would love to, but this broom jut has a mind of its own and likes to throw the rider off with no warnings!

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QUIBBLER SPORTS After an incident involving a black eye and a broken wrist, we had to notch this one down a few pegs on the safety rating. It also is not the most durable broom, and it seems to wear down a bit after a while. But other than that, it is a very top performing broom! It is fast, easy to maneuver, and is super light! As long as you are okay with taking a trip to visit your favorite Healer friend every once in a while, this broom is perfect! Reviews: • “As a keeper, this is my favorite broom! Especially for when I play at home against my younger siblings where the ball is not on my side of the pitch that much. I could sit on this broom all day long and I wouldn’t have a single complaint!” • “This broom is nice and all, but I fall off it almost every day. I don’t know what it is about it, but every so often it just flips upside down and shakes me off! I think it just does not like me. You know how the wand chooses the wizard? Well, I think broomsticks can do that too, since it does not seem to like me that much…” • “I think this broom is haunted. Seriously.” • “I always end up with a fever the day after using this broom. It is really weird. Also, I fall off almost every time, but the seat is really nice!”

5.Cleansweep XV Price: 99 Galleons

Stats: • Speed: 10 • Maneuverability: 6 • Durability: 8 • Lightness: 9 • Comfort: 6 • Safety: 9 Overall: 8 Our expert opinion: Coming in at a solid 8 overall, this broom marks the halfway point on our list of the top brooms of the year. This broom has its pros and its cons. It is fast, but it is not that maneuverable. It is light, but it is not that comfortable. Great for a chaser or a beater, not great for a seeker or a keeper. It is one of the safer brooms, especially for its speed. It helps that it is maneuverable, but not so much, so that it is easy for you to dodge a wall or a bludger, but you also can’t make super tight turns or dives. But at the same time, that really puts you off from doing super crazy stunts, especially since this broom can reach some pretty gnarly top speeds! Reviews: • “I am actually really disappointed with this broom. Cleansweap has been my go-to model for brooms, but this one

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just does not live up to its predecessors. Also, with the uptick in price, it is definitely not worth it. Mediocre broom from a great brand. Disappointed.” “I have a really bad track record of ending up in St. Mungo’s after a match, but this broom has been great to me! Ever since I switched brooms, I have only sustained a few minor injuries here and there. My mother is really pleased about it!” “This broom is really great! I got it for my son, and he loves it! I know absolutely nothing about magic or how anything works, but he seems happy so I am happy!” “I bought this broom to clean my house. Then one day it flew out my window. I do not understand.”

4. Comet 370

Price: 150 Galleons Stats: • Speed: 9 • Maneuverability: 9 • Durability: 7 • Lightness: 10 • Comfort: 9 • Safety: 7 Overall: 8.5 Our expert opinion: Okay, now we are really getting into some high-quality brooms here.

This broom is one of the fastest, one of the easiest brooms out there! It comes in at the top of our list for lightness, as it leaves you with a weightless feeling that really makes you feel like there is nothing but air beneath you! This broom is perfect for keepers, seekers, and chasers! The only problem is that out of all top-performing brooms, this one just is not the safest. In order to get the lightweight feeling of the broom, the shaft is hollow, which makes the broom prone to breakage. Which is a shame, because it really is such a lovely broom. This makes it not the greatest for beaters, who are at high risk for breaking their brooms because they are bloody violent players of the nature of their position. Reviews: • “This is my favorite Comet broom! It is the lightest broom that I have ever flown, I love it so much!” • “I love this broom, but I was really sad when it finally snapped in half. Most of my comets usually last me at least a few years, but this one barely made it one.” • “My favorite thing about this broom is that it is super light! I am always the first one on the practice field because I don’t have some clunky, heavy old broom to drag around. It feels as light as a quill!” • “One time I got mad at my friend and went to throw my broomstick at him. It went all the way into the stands of the pitch! Honestly, I am very surprised it is so light but it doesn’t break under my weight!”

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3.Thunderbolt X Price: 99 Galleons

Stats: • Speed: 10 • Maneuverability: 10 • Durability: 10 • Lightness: 5 • Comfort: 6.5 • Safety: 9 Overall: 8.8 Our expert opinion: This broom is perfect in almost every way, except for the fact that it is really, really heavy for a broom that’s as fast as it is. While it is one of the fastest brooms on the market, it is also the second heaviest broom on our list. Which, honestly, is a very impressive feat. The heaviness of the broom does take away from the comfort level. I could not stand to sit on this broom for more than thirty minutes, so unless my team had an all-star seeker, I would never use this broom. It is a bit of a thrill to ride this broom, though. The super speed combined with the heaviness makes you feel like you are just bouldering through the skies! I definitely would not be afraid to run over my opponents if they got in my way.

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Reviews: • “I don’t have this broom, but my friend does. He hit me with it at quidditch practice one time, and I was in the Hospital WIng for four days! I don’t remember a thing!” • “I love this broom. It makes my opponents fear me, everyone moves out of my way!” • “I bought this broom for my son. That was a mistake. I get Floo calls from the school every day about how he has been terrorizing the other kids on the playground with this thing. I will be making a return shortly.” • “I feel like a boulder.”

2. Nimbus 2020 Price: 300 Galleons

Stats: • Speed: 10 • Maneuverability: 10 • Durability: 8.5 • Lightness: 8 • Comfort: 8 • Safety: 10 Overall: 9 Our expert opinion: A Nimbus broom? That isn’t number one? How could it be! This broom is at the top of our list for speed and maneuverability. However, there is just something about it that just

SPORTS QUIBBLER seems… off. We cannot really put our fingers on it, but it just does not live up to the hype of the previous models. Maybe it’s the weight of the new golden handle, or maybe it’s the stirrups that are just barely in the right place. It is fast, it is quick, it is great for flying, but there’s just something about it that does not seem right. Reviews: • “I love my Nimbus 2020. I have owned every single Nimbus model since 2000. Obviously, nothing will beat the good ol’ 2000 and 2001, but I would put this one in a solid third place.” • “I was really excited about this broom! But I’m not sure if I got a knockoff or the quality has been declining over the years, but every time I fly I get splinters!” • “If you ever want to buy your way onto a quidditch team, a Nimbus is definitely the way to go.”

1.Vipertooth

Price: 499 Galleons Stats: • Speed: 10 • Maneuverability: 10 • Durability: 9 • Lightness: 9 • Comfort: 10 • Safety: 9 Overall: 9.5 Our expert opinion: There is no such thing as a perfect broom, but this one comes pretty darn close.

like you are slicing through the air. The dragonhide seat and stirrups are just so comfy and luxurious, and they even come with a heating charm in the winter! Now you will never freeze your butt off again! The lightness is definitely what sets it apart from the Nimbus 2020. Yes, the Vipertooth is more durable and much comfier, but the feeling of weightlessness is just something that can’t be beaten. Honestly, flying on this thing feels just how I would imagine flying on a dragon would feel. We are excited for this new line of dragon inspired broomsticks. Who knows? Maybe one day we will all be breathing fire at our quidditch opponents! Reviews: • “This is by far my new favorite broom! I will never go back!” • “I was wary of buying this broom for the price tag, I thought the dragonhide, gold, and mahogany was just all for show and wouldn’t be worth it. But boy, was I wrong! This is the best performing broom ever, and it looks super cool!” • “A girl asked me out because she found out I had this broom. Seriously.”

And there you have it! The Vipertooth is this year’s top broomstick. We are excited to see what the future brings us, as broomstick technology is evolving every day! There is no such thing as a perfect broom, but there is always next year!

Named after one of the most fierce dragons, this broomstick really does live up to its name. Flying at top speed feels

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Muggle Candy Worth Traveling For East Asia Edition by Eldis Please note that all travels described in this series have occurred in Summer 2017 through Spring 2018, and that what you are currently reading is a report of past events. Your humble Ravenclaw editing manager is currently safely stuck in her Quibbler Office, with several protective spells on her door courtesy of Starflashfairy, who halves the pay of any Quibbler employee who opens their office door. Hello everyone! In our previous edition of the Witch Weekly Quibbler, we temporarily suspended our travels in Indonesia, where we had to stay a little while before our travel applications were approved. Good news though, I just received a message by nightingale that our international portkey to China has been approved. So, hold on to your luggage, remember to walk through the air when landing rather than plummet down, and let’s go! First of all, let’s enter that bakery over there to get some Tianjin Mahua, 麻花/Máhuā. These beautiful fried twists are sold in spicy or sweet variants, and have an amazing history! Legend goes that long, long ago, the people living where the city of Tianjin stands now, were preparing for a large celebration. It promised to be the party of the aeon, but there were two very strict rules that made the preparations difficult: during the entire three-day feast, there could be no fires and nobody was allowed to cook. In order to have something to eat during the festivities, the people fried dough coated in honey, so it wouldn’t go off in the three days nobody was allowed to cook. Everyone 110

liked it so much that it is still eaten today, 2000 years later! An alternative story circulates too, which tells that the land was plagued by scorpions. In order to take revenge on those murderous animals, the Chinese made a snack in the shape of the scorpion’s tail. They fried and ate these wheat-dough twists to curse the animal. For fans of Alice in Wonderland, the White Rabbit Candy, 大白兔奶糖/Dàbái tù nǎi táng, cannot be missed. Although it will not make you grow or shrink (unless you buy the wizarding variant of this delicious, milky treat), it still has a magical taste! Speaking of magical tastes, you simply have to

Image courtesty of Chinese Food Wiki try some Dragon’s beard candy! This fluffy white sugary treat looks a bit like cotton candy, but with an infinitely cooler name. This too, has a legend tied to it. It is said that an imperial court chef

TRAVEL QUIBBLER entertained the Emperor by showing him how to make this newly invented piece of candy. It was the Emperor who came up with the name! This royal artwork of a treat almost disappeared for a while, due to political repression, but nowadays the tourism business is slowly bringing it back! Another Chinese sugary treat is the peen tong, also known as pian tang, 片糖/pinyin, piàntáng. This is essentially a slab or brick of sugary goodness. It is usually used in dishes, but can also be eaten on its own! For another legend-filled snack, we have to turn to zaotang, 灶糖. On the 23rd of the 12th lunar month, the Kitchen God, who has spent his time supervising the life of every household, returns to the Jade Emperor to report his findings. In order to appease the Kitchen God, or, alternatively, sticking his teeth together so he will be unable to speak, people create zaotang, a deliciously sweet treat that melts in the mouth, becoming super sticky! Most Chinese wizards and witches use these treats to help teach themselves non-verbal

to loved ones, although many business people give mooncakes to their clients to further relationships too. Most cakes are decorated with a Chinese character for longevity or harmony, together with gorgeous decorations, the name of the bakery, and information on the filling. Or, historically, secret messages. The cakes can, after all, be eaten after the message has arrived, disappearing without a trace! After visiting the Great Wall of China, why not hop over the border to Mongolia? Just because it is one of the most sparsely populated countries in the world - with only 2.07 citizens per km2 - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have some amazing deliciousness to offer! Take, for example, boortsog or bawïrsaq, боорцог. These fried treats are shaped as either triangles or spheres and are relatively easy to make. If you, unlike me, are a cheese fan, aarul is something you have to try. This fermented curd cheese with sugar can be shaped into different forms and are offered to guests. They are sundried, which means they stay good for months. Their distinct taste is not for everyone, but for those who are a fan of sweet and salty, it might be the treat for you! Maybe eat it alongside a nice slice of bread covered in öröm, a delicious cream reminiscent of clotted cream. Or maybe try some gambir with jam? The beautiful Ul Boov, Ул Боов or Kheviin Boov, Хэвийн Боов is also a sight to behold. It is eaten during the Buddhist New Year and personal festivities. The cakes are stacked up in a big tower, the height determined by the age of the parents and the number of children.

Image Courtesy of Anna Frodesiak - Wikipedia spells, lessons most Hogwarts students absolutely detest. Maybe we should introduce these candies in the UK too, to help make classes more fun? I cannot talk about Chinese treats without mentioning mooncakes, 月饼/ Yuèbǐ ng. These absolutely stunning pastries almost make you suspect that the persons making them are magical! But no, they are created through sheer human talent. If you want to taste them, you have to visit China during Mid Autumn Festival or 仲秋节 / Zhòngqiū jié, a movable feast taking place around late September/early October. This year it starts October 1st. In 2021, the festival begins a little earlier: the 21st of September. Mooncakes are filled with a red bean or lotus seed paste and are very filling, so they are usually enjoyed in slices over a nice cup of tea. It is tradition to give them

Photo courtesy of Vidor - Wikipedia South Korea, in the muggle world, is widely known for its amazing candy; colourful, bright and super sweet. Take, for example, dalgona, or bbopki, sold on the streets. Either in the shape of flat lollipops or simply a formless blob, this 111

piece of essentially pure sugar is a wonderful treat to start with. Another sugary treat, usually eaten in the first full moon of the new lunar year, is Yakshik, 약식. It’s a sort of filled rice cake with honey, nuts, and dried fruit, so you can pretend it is actually really healthy. Maybe it might become true if you think it hard enough? Another rice-treat is Songpyeon, 송편. These gorgeous, brightly coloured sweets are sure to brighten up your day. They are usually filled with sweetened sesame seeds before being steamed to perfection.

Photo courtesy of Hyeon-Jeong Suk - Wikipedia If you prefer a more confectionary-style treat, try some green tea choco cake, gorgeously green. Tea not really your cup of tea, if you would excuse the pun? Then try some malang, a milky sweet strawberry treat. Plum candy, available in every supermarket, is also a must-try. Or maybe prank one of your friends with the deliciously aye-shyuh sour candy! It tastes amazing but if you don’t expect the intense sour taste it will be quite a surprise. Who knew that such tiny, innocent looking green balls can be able to provoke such a reaction? If you, like me, are a chocolate fan, you must try the milk caramels! And who knew that vegetable-flavoured candies exist? I sure didn’t, but the tomato and grapefruit, broccoli and kiwi or carrot and apple candy kitchen treats are a delight for the tastebuds. Onwards to our final stop in East Asia: Japan! We simply cannot skip over a country with such a talented Quidditch team, or, at least, that is what our Sports editor LordPugtato kept telling me. Not many Asian countries play the sport, but the Japanese national team is, and I quote ‘so talented! Eldis, have you seen their Tsunami move, is there anything more gorgeous, stunning, absolutely amazingly talented than that? The flair, the dramatics!’ all whilst pushing several pictures in my face. Anyway, remind me to pass by one of their official stores so I can pick up some memorabilia for her, maybe that'll convince her to stop practis112

ing her Beater tricks in the Quibbler head office's hallways. Also, I hope it will prevent her from cursing me when she finds out I actually have tickets to see them play in a bit. Where were we? Oh, yes, if you are too invested in the Quidditch game to have the time to chew, try a redbean jelly bar, known as Yokan. It’s more of a paste than a bar, meaning you have to squeeze the foil tube it comes in to enjoy it. If you, however, want to have a break from all those sport-fanatics, maybe have a KitKat? Yes, they are originally not Japanese, but they are incredibly popular. The name sounds like the words kitto and katsu, the former meaning ‘surely’ and the latter ‘to win’. A KitKat then means ‘you are bound to win/you won’t fail’ which is, of course, an amazing message! People give KitKats to each other as a sign of good luck. And there are plenty of KitKats to give. Not just our boring milk chocolate ones, but all different kinds of flavours, ranging from green tea to sweet or grilled potato, from soy sauce to roasted corn, from pancake to lemon vinegar, and from watermelon to triple berry. Mochi is also not a treat to miss out on. It used to be reserved for only the emperors and nobles, since it was originally made with red rice, red being a symbol of good fortune. Nowadays it is often enjoyed around New Year’s. Fresh mochi symbolises long life and well-being and dried mochi is good for your teeth, something we desperately need now that we are nearing the end of our travels. Although they are now for sale throughout the world, why not pop into a supermarket to buy the real Japanese Pocky, ポッキー in Japan? These humble chocolate-covered biscuit sticks are now, like KitKats, available in a wide variety of flavours, so there should be at least one to your liking. And, quickly, before the Quidditch game begins, we have to try some Milky candy! They are wonderfully soft and chewy treats, made with milk from the Hokkaido region of Japan. Oh, the game is starting! Will you join me next time when we finish our tour of the world discovering the deliciousness Australia and New Zealand have to offer? Oh wow, that was an amazing throw by Yoshi Wakahisa…

Photo courtesy of Charles Nguyen - Wikipedia

Since we’re all stuck at home, why not bring the world to you? Here are some lovely recipes to try yourself! Boortsog

Ingredients: • 2 cups (270 grams) of flour • ¼ cup (55 grams) of butter • ½ cup (100 grams) of sugar • ½ cup (115 ml) warm water • bit of salt • oil for frying Directions: 1. Melt the sugar and salt in the water 2. Add the flour, mix 3. Knead the butter through the dough 4. Let rest for 30 minutes 5. Knead again 6. Roll the dough out to about ½ inch, or 1 centimetre. 7. Cut the dough in rectangles, one side half the size of the other. You can choose yourself how big you want to make them, but about 5 by 2 centimetre is ideal 8. Cut a slit in the middle of the rectangle 9. Pull one end of the rectangle through the slit, creating some sort of knot 10. Fry in oil till golden brown

Kohakutou

Ingredients: • 1 cup (235 ml) of boiling water • 7 grams of agar agar • 2 cups (400 grams) of sugar • Optional: flavouring, food colouring Directions 1. Dissolve the agar agar to the boiling water 2. Add the sugar 3. Cook over medium heat till the mixture reaches 110 degrees Celcius/230 degrees Fahrenheit 4. Pour the mixture into a greased dish 5. Let stand for 5 or more hours, till it is set 6. Cut or break the set agar into pieces 7. Place the pieces on parchment paper 8. Let stand for a couple of days, until a sugar crust develops on all sides of the kohakutou

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QUIBBLER TRAVEL

Muggle Candy Worth Traveling For Oceania Edition by Eldis What? Another instalment in the same Quibbler? Well, I assumed that with everyone being locked up at home, you might want a little extra escapism. So why don’t you join me in exploring the deliciousness Australia and New Zealand have to offer? When arriving in Australia, the first two things you need to acquire are 1) a hot drink and 2) a pack of Tim Tams. Bite a little bit off the two short sides of these soft, chocolatey treats and use it as a straw, melting the insides.

This trick is called the ‘Tim Tam Slam’ and it is absolute heaven. Need more chocolate? Try some Lamingtons! This sponge cake is rolled in chocolate and covered in sweet, sweet coconut. The treat is believed to be named after Lord Lamington, Governor of Queensland between 18961901. Another chocolatey treat is the Cherry Ripe, which combines chocolate, cherries, and coconuts. And ever looked at an adorable koala and thought, ‘I could just eat you up’? Well, good news, you can! Try some

Photo courtesy of Bilby - Wikipedia 114

Caramello Koalas. No koalas are hurt in the production of this adorable caramel snack. Training for trivia night? Buy a heap of Fantales! These chocolate caramel candies’ wrappers have movie trivia printed on them. Thought Australia couldn’t possibly offer more chocolate treats? You thought wrong! Try some FruChocs, dried apricot and peach covered in milk chocolate, or Curly Wurlies, a lighter caramel-chocolate combination. If chocolate is not your way to go, try some Anzac biscuits. The name refers to the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps, established in World War 1. These treats do not contain eggs, making them cheap to produce. Looking for a pop of colour in your life? Try Fairy Bread! Put some butter on white bread and cover it liberally with hundreds and thousands sprinkles. They taste different from the sprinkles you might be used to for baking, making them a perfect delicious sugar-filled lunch option. Or dinner option. Or whenever you want, really. Iced VoVos have adorable soft pink icing, with a

deep reddish-pink strip of raspberry jam and some coconut sprinkled on top to finish the look. To stay in the bright-coloured theme, Jelly Slices are amazing desserts, consisting of custard or cream on a biscuit, covered in a bright jelly, usually strawberry flavoured, although other flavours exist too. Have a need to cool down in the hot Australian air? Why not have a Golden Gaytime? Vanilla ice cream is combined with toffee, dipped in chocolate and wrapped in honeycomb biscuits. However, ‘it’s hard to have a Gaytime on your own’ and much more fun to enjoy them with a friend, making for a sweet memory! Pavlovas are also incredibly popular in Australia. These cakes are topped with fresh fruit, which almost makes you feel like you are being super healthy! Just ignore the fact that those me-

ringues are filled with sugar, as is the whipped cream. Quandong trees are native to Australia, and their fruits are absolutely delicious. The seeds contain edible kernels. The fruits, filled with vitamin C, can be made into jams, pies or chutneys. If you’re feeling particularly brave, try Witchetty Grubs. These raw or lightly cooked larvae taste similar to almonds. Don’t feel like eating actual larvae? Try the infinitely less healthy candy-version, shaped like the animals but consisting of just sugar. New Zealand also has its fair share of amazing food to offer. Try some hāngī-steamed pudding, for example. This delicious traditional dessert will simply melt in your mouth. If you’re visiting in July, make sure to visit the Jaffa race in Baldwin Street, where the sugar-coated chocolate balls are

rolled down the steepest residential hill in the world to see which one crosses the finish line first! Lolly cake is made with lollies, candies, marshmallows, biscuits, butter, and condensed milk… Or, in other words, it’s a sugar bomb ready to explode deliciousness in your mouth. If you liked the Golden Gaytime’s caramelised honeycombs, you will also enjoy Hokey Pokey ice cream. Thirsty? Why not drink a Lemon & Paeroa, or L&P for short? It’s a lemony-sweet soft drink. You simply have to buy a pot of Manuka honey, which isn’t only delicious but also enhances the quality of any potion with sugar or honey as one of the ingredients. It’s antibacterial and bacterial resistant. meaning it can help heal wounds, helps reduce inflammation and irritation associated with acne, and is good for your digestion and immunology.

Photo courtesy of Hazel Fowler - Wikipedia

Pascall Pineapple Lumps, the semi-similar Perky Nana, and chocolate fish are also a musttry, and if you want to solve the great debate on whether New Zealand’s or Australia’s Pavlova is better, try one in both countries and decide which one you like best! Make sure not to advertise the Pavlova from one country in the other. America’s Big Candy Corn Battle of 2011 [see the Summer 2018 Quibbler, red.] is nothing compared to the many magical fights between Kiwi and Aussie wizards arguing

that their country’s version of this dessert is better. If you’re looking for some exercise, try K Bars, incredibly chewy but terribly delicious. If you have always wanted to eat an aeroplane, Jet Planes are the way to go. Speaking of aeroplanes, the Cookie Time Original Chocolate Chunk cookies are served in Air New Zealand, but you can buy them in stores too, if you’re travelling the magical way.

Photo courtesy of Kiwi Corner Dairy

Speaking of travel, we have almost gotten to the end of our journey! This is our final strictly themed MCWTF, but don’t worry, there is one final instalment coming up in the Fall 2020 Quibbler. But for that, I need your help. We cannot portkey or apparate from here directly back to the Quibbler head office, the distance is way too big. So which countries should we visit on our way back home? Which places did we skip on the way here? Or which places should we revisit because we forgot to taste a certain treat that we simply cannot miss out on? Send an owl, Discord DM or Reddit message to Eldis_ with your suggestions before September 1st 2020, so I can include them in the very final Muggle Candy Worth Travelling For report. See you then! Bring abroad to you with this recipe!

Anzac biscuits

Ingredients: • 1 cup (90 grams) of rolled oats • 1 cup (120 grams) of flour • ⅔ cup (135 grams) of brown sugar • ⅔ cup (66 grams) shredded coconut • ½ cups (125 grams) butter • 2 tbs water • 2 tbs golden syrup • ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda • Pinch of salt Directions 1. Combine all dry ingredients, except for the bicarbonate of soda. 2. Melt the butter, syrup and water together in a saucepan over medium heat. 3. Once the butter is melted, turn off the heat and add the bicarbonate of soda to the melted butter. 4. Mix the wet and dry ingredients into a dough. 5. Form balls, place them on a baking tray lined with parchment paper 5 cm apart and slightly flatten them 116

6. Bake for 10-12 minutes on 160 Celsius degrees/320 degrees Fahrenheit or 140 Celcius degrees/285 Fahrenheit if your oven is fan-forced 7. Allow some time to cool Enjoy!

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE This instalment marks the end of our trip around the world, which started in the Spring 2018 Quibbler. We have travelled through Europe, America, Africa, the Middle East, and finished in Oceania. But we skipped quite a few countries along the way, and of the countries we did visit we did not discuss all of the traditional candies. So, now is your time to tell me, Eldis_, which places and treats I missed! We will officially close this series next edition, with a ‘miscellaneous’ section. Do you know something delicious that you simply have to share with the world? Send me a DM on Reddit or Discord (you can find me in the Quibbler server) and I’ll make sure to include it!

Spring 2018 - Europe

• France: Violet Ice Cream, Calissons, Salted Butter Caramels • Belgium: Chocolate, Gentse Neuzen/Couberdon • Germany: Marzipan • The Netherlands: Stroopwafels, Oliebollen, Pepernoten • Sweden: Dammsugare, Semlor, Bilar, Kladdkaka • Norway: Brunsost, Smørbukk, Vestlandslefsa, Kvikk Lunsj, Saltlakrits • Hungary: Tél Fagyi, Balaton, Vadász • Scotland: Scottish Tablet, Tunnock’s Teacakes, Soor Plooms • England: Jelly Babies, Liquorice Allsorts, Sherbert Fountains, Pear Drops, Black Jacks, Fruit Salads, Rock, Kendal Mint Cake • Recipes: German Rice Pudding, Swedish Havreflarn

Summer 2018 - North America

• USA, AK: Blueberry Popcorn, Candied Salmon • Canada: Maple Leaf Cookies, Maple Candy, Maple Taffy, Nanaimo Bar, Coffee Crisp • USA: Candy Corn, Indian Corn, Fudge From Mackinac Island, New England’s Salt Water Taffy, Buckeyes, Dewar’s Candy (CA), Moon Pies (CA), Marshmallow Fluff, Roman Candy (LA), Reese’s, Peanut Brittle, Peanut M&M’s, Ring Pop, Cheesecake, Black Jacks, Fruit Salads, Pear Drops, Starburst, Twinkies, Peeps, Girl Scout Cookies, • Recipes: Needhams, Peanut Butter Chocolate Truffle, Muddy Buddies

Fall 2018 - Central & South America

• Cuba: Torticas De Moron, Arroz Con Leche, Capuchinos Cubanos • Dominican Republic: Bizcocho Dominicano, Arepa, Maíz Caquiau/Chacá • Mexico: Revolcaditas, Vero Mango Lollipops, Hot Chocolate, Churros, Dulce de Tamarindo, Pelón Pelon Rico • Guatemala: Candied Fruit, Chilacayote, Chancaca, Tartaritas, Alborotos, Las Canillitas de Leche • Colombia: Olbeas, Arequipe, Bocadillos de Guayaba • Peru: Suspiro a la Limeña, Morada, Picarones, Chancaca Syrup, Antichuchos, Turron de Doño Pepa • Brazil: Paçoca, Brigadeiro, Torta Holandesa,

Quindim • Chile: Tres Leches Cake • Argentina: Sopaipilla, Alfajores, Dulce de Leche • Recipes: Churros, Bizcocho Dominicano, Sopapillas

Winter 2019 - North Africa

• Morocco: Ghoribas, Mint Tea, Merendina Treats, M’hanncha/Snake Pie, Briouats, Krachel • Niger: Puff-puffs, Coconut Candies, Chin Chins, Cornes de Gazelles • Libya: Mhalbiya, Makroudh, Kanafeh • Egypt: Umm Ali, Quara’ ‘Asali, Khushaf • Sudan: Kahk, Halawa Simsim/Sesame Candy • Liberia: Milk Candy • Ghana: Kuli Kuli, Labu • Senegal: Five-cent Cookies/Cinq Centimes, Tiakry • Recipes: Chin Chin, Coconut Candy

Spring 2019 - Central Africa

• Nigeria: Akara, Egg Rolls, Donkwa,Plantain Chips • Cameroon: Fresh Fruit, Fufu, Ndole, Fermented Casava • Democratic Republic Of Congo: Ngalakh, Karaw/Araw, Bouye • Ethiopia: Injera • Somalia: Shushumow, Qureebaad Ama Icun, Macsharo Yariis, Halwa • Kenya: Chapati Flatbread, Madazi, Mbaazi Za Nazi, Urwagwa/Banana Beer • Uganda: Matoke • Rwanda: Sugar Canes, Chai • Tanzania: Vitumbua, Sweet Potato Pudding, Ubuyu • Recipes Accra Cassava, Peanut Butter Mousse

Summer 2019 - South Africa

• Angola: Caakiri, Cocada Amarela, Chikuanga • Zambia: Sweet Potato Pudding, Golabjamoun, Vitumbuwa, Iro Ngade • Mozambique: Ananas con Vinho do Porto, Papaya Pudding, Filhos de Natal • Madagascar: Mofo, Banana Fritters, Koba Akondro • Zimbabwe: Vetkoek • Botswana: Magwinya • South Africa: Melktert, Koeksisters, Guava 117

Ice Cream, Coconut Ice, Soetkoekjes, Malva Pudding • Recipes: Sweet Potato Pudding

•

Fall 2019 - Middle East

•

• Yemen: Bint Al-sahn, Honey, Sabyah, Masoob, Qishir • Saudi Arabia: Ma’amoul, Luqaimat, Muhallebi • Iraq: Mann Al-sama, Baklava, Halva • Syria: Allikeh, Jarja’iyeh/Khebziyeh/Bida/ Quermashliyeh, Nabbout, Gouma • Iran: Bastani Akbar Mashti, Makhloot, Ghotab, Loze Nârgil, Baklava • Turkey: Turkish Delight • Recipes: Luqaimat

Winter 2020 - South Asia

• Afghanistan: Doogh/Shomley/Sombeh, Heer Yakh, Noql, Pistachio Gelato, Gulaab Jamun • Pakistan: Hajmola Candy, Khopra Candy, Sun Sip Limopani, Boom Boom Bubblegum, Ding Dong Bubblegum, Aamrus Candy, Sohan Halwa, Gajar Halwa, Barfi • India: Bal Mithai, Soan Papdi/Patis/Son Papri/Sohan Papdi/Shonpapdi, Petha, Balushahi, Badushah, Basan Laddu, Coconut Laddu • Nepal: Mithia/Guleo Khaana, Jeri/Jalebi/ Jilphi, Anarsaa, Paneer Peda, Sweet Malai Peda, Ainthe-mari, Khajuri • Recipes: Ghee, Sohan Halwa

Spring 2020 - South East Asia

• Myanmar: Peanut Rolls, Peanut Wine, Jaggery, Sanwin Makin/Shwe Kyi • Thailand: Khao Tom Mud, Khanom Gluay, Tong Yord, Foi Tong, Woon Ma Plow, Kha-

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• • •

nom Chun, Durian Crisps, Roti Sai Mai, Khao Nom Crok Vietnam: Chè Ba Mau, Chè Bap, Chè Trôi Nuróc, Chè Chuôi Malaysia: Apam Balik, Blue Rice, Roti Canai, Roti Tisu, Ais Kacang, Batik Cake, Saraw Layered Cake Singapore: Ondeh Ondeh Indonesia: Es Kacang Merah, Spekkoek/ Layer Cake, Es Campu, Kue Ape, Gorengang, Kroepoek/Kerupok, Cassavekroepek Recipes: Sanwin Makin, Apam Balik

Summer 2020 - East Asia

• China: Tianjin Mahua/麻花/Máhuā, White Rabbit Candy/大白兔奶糖/Dàbái Tù Nǎi Táng, Dragon’s Beard Candy, Pian Tang/片糖/Pinyin/Piàntáng, Zaotang/灶糖, Mooncakes/月饼/ Yuèbǐng • Mongolia: Boortsog/Bawïrsaq/Боорцог, Aarul, Öröm, Gambir, Ul Boov/Ул Боов/Kheviin Boov/Хэвийн Боов • South Korea: Dalgona/Bbopki, Yakshik/약 식, Songpyeon, 송편, Green Tea Choco Cake, Malang, Plum Candy, Aye-shyuh Sour Candy, Milk Caramels, Vegetable Candies • Japan: Yokan, Kitkat, Mochi, Pocky/ポッキ, Milky • Recipes: Boortsog, Kohakutou

Summer 2020 - Oceania

• Australia: Tim Tams, Lamingtons, Cherry Ripe, Caramello Koalas, Anzac Biscuits, Fairy Bread, Golden Gaytime, Iced VoVo, Jelly Slices, Pavlova, Fantales, FruChocs, Curly Wurly, Quandong, Witchetty Grubs • New Zealand: Hāngī-steamed Pudding, Jaffa, Lolly Cake, Hokey Pokey Ice Cream, Lemon & Paeroa/L&P, Manuka Honey, Pineapple Lump, Perky Nana, Chocolate Fish, Pavlova, K Bars, Jet Planes, Cookie Time Chocolate Chunk

Duvets, Doors, and Dragons: How to Spice Up Your Weekend Summer Getaways! By: Raspberry_cordelia Well, dear friends, summer is nigh, and you all know what that means: weekends at the cottage (or lakehouse, or beach house, or wherever your heart desires)! The best part is that, with the advent of the Floo Network, Portkeys, and Apparition, our weekend trips aren’t limited to our county. Get out there! Explore! Not sure how? The Quibbler is here to provide you with all you need to have the best excursion ever this summer!

Wizard Friendly Spaces As much as we Wizardkind love to flock to Muggle Destinations, it’s not always possible. If you have young children prone to accidental magic, a job that requires you to consistently use magic even on the weekends (seriously, quit), or just looking to let loose, here are some locations you can visit without worrying about breaking the Statute of Secrecy.

Lake Doolittle

Named after Dr. Doolittle, the magizoologist, Lake Doolittle is nestled in the Appalachian Mountains and has a protective barrier that keeps Muggles out because of the Needling Turtles’ aversion to them. So, there’s actually two reasons to come here: no Muggles, and you get to pet the Needling Turtles!

Antler Hill

Antler Hill is a beautiful campground in West Sussex. It is a private property owned by the family

Marscough. In 1859, when Muggleborn Lord Matthew Marscough came into possession of Antler Hill, he decided to repurpose it as a Wizard-only campsite. Highlights include Marscough Abbey and the apple orchard.

Bumbler’s Island

This jewel of an island is invisible to Muggles, and accessed only through an enchanted ship sailing from St. John’s Portkey Dock. Located next to the Canadian island of Newfoundland, Bumbler’s Island is the perfect place for whale sightings. Peak season is mid-July to mid-August.

Events Oh, there’s just so, so much to do!

July 5th: Cornwall - up close and personal

Celestina Warbeck concert.

July 18th-20th: Young Wizard Explorers is taking 50 pre-Hogwarts aged children on an adventure on the Isle of Harris to learn more about herbology and incite a passion for education before heading into school! August 1st: Famed magibiologist Alistair Barleycorn is leading a hike on the East Coast Trail in Newfoundland. Brooms not allowed.

August 8th: The award-winning restaurant Spiky Meals on the Georgian Bay is having a food festival, and giving free samples of their scrumptious

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Kronkfish and Chips with any order! Made with real Snapping Kronkfish!

August 16th: Enjoy a game of extreme Quod-

pot using the Olympic rings on Lake Tahoe’s Olympic Valley! There will be a friendly between the Chincoteague Zouwus and the Truckee Occamies in the morning, and parts of the Valley can be rented out for personal games in the afternoon.

August 21st-23rd: After years of campaigning

by dragon tamer Charlie Weasley (who claims that his nieces and nephews made him do it), the Carpathian Dragon Reserve in Romania is opening up to the general public. For a weekend, that is. Explore the beautiful grounds, vampiric architecture, and, of course, the dragons!

Cottage Decor Are events too busy and involved for you? Prefer a quiet escape to a lakeside cottage instead? No worries! We’ve got you covered. These are The Quibbler’s top 5 recommendations for items you can add to your lakehouse shopping list!

Unlike the Muggles, due to some clever charms from the development at Charming Home, the Barn Door Deluxe will stay closed, preventing any issues in the privacy department.

#3: Shimmering Pixie Lamp, 23 Galleons 5 Sickles, Illuminator Well, what’s a nice evening spent by the lake without an appropriate light fixture? Move over, campfire: the Shimmering Pixie Lamp is here to take your place. This incredible light acts as a fire, but also puts on a show, with a phantasmagoria of purple ponies, blue dolphins, and more! The Lamp can also be connected to the Floo Network, so that you can get from your cottage fireplace to your desired night lounging area without taking the perilous trek of 20 metres. #4: No-Fret Spice Rack, 39 Galleons 13 Sickles 6 Knuts, Charming Home

All items are available on Wizmazon.

This will literally spice up your summer getaway. Just because you’re not at home, doesn’t mean you have to eat tasteless food! This spice rack will keep all of your flavour organized, and if you keep it close to your stove while cooking, the spices will recommend themselves to you!

#1: Darling’s Duvet, 30 Galleons, Accio Zzzs

#5: Gwenog 3 Piece Breakfast Nook, Charming Home

This is the absolute best cover to have in your summer home. You never know if those July nights are going to be boiling hot or freezing cold, but luckily, Darling’s Duvet does! This innovative blanket will change its temperature depending on both the weather outside and your general level of fussiness.

This is the best piece for ultimate coziness in your cottage! The pieces of the breakfast nook can rearrange themselves from a comfortable corner nook into a sleek breakfast table. Available in teal, grey, and lilac.

#2: Barn Door Deluxe, 300 Galleons 24 Sickles, Charming Home

So there you have it! There are 9 weekends this summer, use them well.

As interior designer Maria Shelton likes to say, “The Wizarding World is always about 2 years late to trends,” but as we here at The Quibbler like to say, “Better late than never!” Late to the trend or not, barn doors are incredibly sleek and stylish, and your cottage could definitely use the upgrade to the Muggle world.

1. Note: by accepting the sample, you are taking responsibility for any complications, including any cases of Tongue Tied Syndrome. Not recommended for children, the elderly, or pregnant women. 2. The Quibbler is not responsible for any injuries incurred by eager visitors of the reserve. 120

TRAVEL QUIBBLER

[WIZARDING WIRELESS NETWORK] [CHANNEL 777: THE WITCHING HOUR] [HOSTED BY: DAISY DOO and PHILBERT "THE FIZZ" FINNEGAN] INT. 'THE WITCHING HOUR' NEWS STATION - 8PM Two witches and a wizard are seated at a crescent-moon table. The two witches are in daffodil and periwinkle-colored dress robes and the wizard is clothed in a navy set of dress robes. They are DAISY, GENEVIVE, and PHILBERT respectively and appear to be in earnest conversation. In front of DAISY is a glass of pumpkin juice, GENEVIVE is sipping a mulled mead, and PHILBERT is cooling his hands with a glass of chilled gillywater. The sound technician gives the cue and DAISY and PHILBERT straighten up as the "On Air" sign suddenly glows red.

DAISY Welcome back to "The Witching Hour" here on Channel 777. We are your hosts, Daisy and Philbert, and we are joined here today by our very special guest, Genevive, from Manchester. Welcome to the show Genevive. GENEVIVE, about to take a long draught from her steaming glass, reluctantly lowers it to smile awkwardly at the camera rather than at Daisy. GENEVIVE Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here. DAISY The streets have been absolutely abuzz with rumors of what you've been up to. Can you tell our listeners at home why exactly your new method of transportation is so special? GENEVIVE 121

Well, as most in Manchester will know by now, I have been working on perfecting my very own line of balloons for many years. My travel agency, "Genevive Les Vacances", has long been famous for its top-of-the-line family broomsticks, sporty thestral rentals, and Cheap N' Easy Portkey service. However, for the luxury traveler, there were no options. GENEVIVE stops to breathe and sips her mulled mead quickly, slowing her emphatically gesticulating hands. PHILBERT takes the opportunity to jump in. PHILBERT You're absolutely right there, you know my wife and I always end up with rumpled dress robes no matter how we travel. Just the other day-GENEVIVE, with the practice of a saleswoman, cuts him off. GENEVIVE Exactly! The Floo service, bless them, are not known for their comfort, and brooms are guaranteed to make a mess. Portkeys can make those with delicate stomachs feel ill and thestrals - although they are entirely harmless - have been known to unnerve some folks. But the model of Balloon that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m releasing this month is none of those things. Behind GENEVIVE, DAISY, and PHILBERT, a vast and shimmery gold curtain parts, revealing a rather large hot air balloon. The balloon is made from an off-white canvas and traditional wicker basket with gold and silver trim. The cords attaching the basket to the canvas also shine silver. GENEVIVE As you can see, our "Up Up And Away" (U2A2) Balloon is top-of-the-line and filled with every luxury as is reasonable in a traveling vehicle. We even put in a few things that were unreasonable such as that chocolate fountain. DAISY and PHILBERT join GENEVIVE as she gets up from the news table and crosses over to the U2A2. PHILBERT brings along DAISY's pumpkin juice and sips it quietly. DAISY That's simply stunning Genevive! Can you walk us through all of the amenities and explain why you chose all of them? GENEVIVE lets out a snorting laugh that even puts off the sound guy (GAVIN). GAVIN accidentally jiggles the boom mic so there's a brief zing of feedback through the speakers. GENEVIVE Oh Daisy, if I were to go through all of the amenities, we would be here for days! I'll talk you through the highlights though. Over here, you'll see that the U2A2, although small enough to park on top of Big Ben, is spacious enough to easily seat twenty average sized children.

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TRAVEL QUIBBLER At her words, twenty students from Hogwarts traipse onto the stage and begin to seat themselves into the U2A2. It's true that fifteen students fit rather easily into the balloon but the last five, one of them looking rather pointy, all had to squeeze themselves into rather uncomfortable-looking positions in order to allow the door to click back into place behind them. Over the edge of the basket, several small and rather pained faces are still visible. All the radio audience hears, however, is some grunting as the students attempt to quietly fight for more space. PHILBERT Are you sure those children are alright in there? They're starting to look a little uncomfor-GENEVIVE Nonsense, they're just beginning to enjoy our remarkable sauna feature. The U2A2 is the first and only hot air balloon to offer this feature. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re incredibly lucky to be able to experience it first-hand. GENEVIVE brushes away PHILBERT's concerns with a wave of her hand, looking nonchalant and unworried despite the muttering now coming from the U2A2. Luckily, for the rest of the students, the pointy child has located the button for air conditioning and the climate within the balloon soon becomes bearable again. GENEVIVE Ah, and now they are showing off the U2A2's air conditioning feature, designed to put you right at ease as you traverse deserts and savannas. DAISY It's remarkable that you also added in that simulated weather feature. The snow looks incredibly realistic! I especially think that it looks particularly majestic falling from the balloon at that height. GENEVIVE The wha--wait no, that's really not supposed to happen! In a single bound, GENEVIVE leaves DAISY and PHILBERT to attempt to right the weather problem in the balloon but she's just a moment too late. Packed to the brim with small children, the U2A2 is still full of more than enough hot air to lift itself to the roof of the building. Now far out of reach of the witches and wizards on the ground, the U2A2 deposits the children on a rafter and continues to climb through the skylight. It appears that, after all of the stress this day has involved, it has finally had enough. The U2A2 drifts away, getting smaller and smaller until it blends in completely with the night sky. Through the wails of the children in the rafters, GENEVIVE's panicked yells, and a gentle dusting of snow, DAISY and PHILBERT attempt to pull it all back together. DAISY That concludes this episode of "The Witching Hour" on Channel 777. Thank you for joining us and our special guest Genevive tonight. PHILBERT Come back next week for our special on Summer Snowmen! We here at "The Witching Hour" wish you a peaceful and pleasant evening. The roof creaks ominously and both DAISY and PHILBERT look up in concern. FADE OUT

123

QUIBBLER INSERT

The mysteries of Easter Island by

Mike Dodd (Ravenclaw Magical researcher)

he study of powerful magics and their interactions has long been a debated topic within magical communities. The creation of a stable and permanent Portkey on Easter island, Chile has been the topic of some interest in magical communities for the last few years for several reasons, including tourist-related travel but also as a focus for the development of more advanced research into however ley lines interact with the magics that witches and wizards practice every day. The Easter Island permanent Portkey was firmly established in 2010 and is mostly used by researchers and the like as the region has experienced muggle instability for decades. The Portkey is located near the Airfield near an underused airplane hanger used by several international flight companies to store a variety of goods that are in low demand even on the island itself, thus drawing little attention. The Portkey resembles a large, unassuming green cargo container which is used to

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house animal feed. A long-since defunct company logo is adorned on the side of the container so that knowledgeable users can easily find it and others will more than likely ignore it. The entirety of the Easter Island landmass 163.6 km2 (63.2 sq mi) radiates a low-level magic itself. Areas of interest do seem to spike in particular regions near the Moai statues and raises significantly during certain peak times of the year which is of particular interest to researchers and others. The main draw of Easter Island is the magical properties of the Moai statues that have stood for countless centuries. Some of these statues are even alive, if current observations are to be believed. Researchers have encountered several of the statues speaking in a mix of older dialects of the regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s languages, recounting tales of events long past to those that will listen. Some researchers have transcribed what has been said down into book and scroll form and they have been taken to other academics for further study. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;livingâ&#x20AC;? statues wish to pass down the knowledge that has been lost, as well as interacting with those of magical ability when able to. However, one of the things that is absolutely certain is that Easter Island is seen as a site of incredibly ancient power which is attributed to the concept of ley lines of magical energy. The place seems as alive as any seen in the wizarding world but has a more raw and primal edge to it, which is immensely intriguing to

those wishing to feel it’s power. The study of ley lines has revealed several new species of fantastic magical creatures and the previously mentioned Moai statues and new materials related to crafting materials for wands and other enhancements. One of the primary researchers from the Ministry of Magic and a team from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic did find out some interesting things while on a research trip in the winter of 2012. They noticed a radiant light that seemed to emerge from several points across the island across a week-long period in December of that year and it would have been impossible for all to ignore if not for its remote location. The attribution of this light source has yet to be discovered but it should be noted that magical activity across the whole of the island increased during that week and everyone including muggles just “accepted it” as one researcher put it. The incident included a flight of unknown creatures not unlike dragons performing what is to be assumed a mating ritual each night during the week-long light display. One of the Beauxbatons put forth the idea the ley lines come to “life” certain times of the year, and they happened to be at the right time and the right place to catch this particular display as there is no written history and oral history isn’t always 100% reliable. The ley lines that are known in the area are areas which were magical creatures and fauna flourish and are quite the sight to behold. The ability to harvest rare

ingredients for potions and observe rare creatures is an amazing opportunity for those who have an interest in such things. Magic practitioners have often come here to be around “old magic” and let it become something of a sabbatical and “re-align” themselves. Many of those who do come here find themselves becoming better magicians and casters with more confidence in their abilities, whether this is a true reflection of an environmental factor or something more mundane remains to be seen. Magical schools have started sending professors and teams to the island for observational field trips in the last few years and it has been very successful for all those involved. Students and professors are already impressed by the natural beauty of the location but also by the undeniable feeling of wonder as they see so many different facets of the magical world come together in harmony. There is talk of establishing a small research team on the island to make more regular contact with the living Moai statues and hosting a variety of interested parties who study magical creatures. Easter Island, while one of the most remote spots on Earth, is quickly expected to become one of the most important places in the Wizarding world in the 21st century and beyond. 125

QUIBBLER HOROSCOPES

HOGWARTS HORROR-SCOPES Madam Starflash Sees what (mis)fortunes will befall you this season!

CAPRICORN THE THESTRAL

TAURUS THE WEREWOLF

VIRGO THE UNICORN

(DEC. 22ND — JAN. 19TH)

(APRIL 20TH — MAY 20TH)

(AUGUST 23RD — SEPT. 22ND)

Pointed purple crystals and rotting newt tails will not protect you from illness. Save your Galleons.

An excess of phlegm lies in your future. Watch where you step and keep your pockets lined with tissues.

Nausea is coming your way in waves. Keep a bucket by your bedside and brush up on your Vanishing (Evanesco!).

GEMINI THE VEELA

LIBRA THE DRAGON

AQUARIUS THE KELPIE (JAN. 20TH — FEB. 18TH)

(MAY 21ST — JUNE 20TH) If you must be around other people, use the Bubble-Head Charm. It’s your best bet to stay safe and You will be struck by the sudden urge to wash your hands constantly. Be sure to purchase some keep others safe too. Skin-Replenishing Potion.

PISCES THE MERMAN (FEB.19TH — MARCH 20TH) Hoarding at the grocery store is impolite; the days of buying in bulk are over. Buy items you need and use Geminio on them to make your supplies last.

You will wake in the night, babbling incessantly about toilet paper. Coincidentally, you will not have any left in your home. Good luck.

CANCER THE FIRECRAB

SCORPIO THE VAMPIRE

(JUNE 21ST — JULY 22ND)

(OCT. 23RD — NOV. 21ST)

Every time you sneeze, you will see rainbow spots before your eyes. Wear Spectrespecs to protect them.

Trying to make your own homemade hand sanitizer is always a fun idea, but execution is everything. Practice extinguishing flames with your wand before the emergency.

ARIES THE HIPPOGRIFF

LEO THE SPHINX

(MARCH 21ST — APRIL19TH)

(JULY 23RD — AUGUST 22ND)

Support small businesses and restaurants by using Owl Order, and be sure to thank the people out there who are still working.

You will find yourself unable to stop coughing, and Pepper-up Potion will not help. Try Madam Humble’s Homebrewed Cough Elixir, but don’t expect instantaneous results.

126

(SEPT. 23RD — OCT. 22ND)

SAGITTARIUS THE CENTAUR (NOV. 22ND — DEC. 21ST) Staying away from others is important in this day and age. Keep your distance, but don’t forget to reach out to the people who matter to you. Send an owl, show you care.

Classifieds Reach your Prospects First

FOR SALE

Old Comet 5 for sale for 3 galleons. Owl Linda Murray if you want to buy it I want to sell a relatively new and well-handled copy of 'Kneazles: All you want to know about them' by Lisa Gallagher. If you'd like to have it, owl Nina Dennise your name (along with 8 galleons) and I'll send it to you. Looking to fill out your clothes? Want to make the women go gaga at the beach? Or are you an older man who can't let age to slow you down? Try SAMSON'S MUSCLE MILK!! Drink the potion & your body grows wider and stronger before your eyes. Available in sizes Large to XXXL! WARNING: DON'T DOUBLE-DOSE! Looking for a new home for a rooster and a frog. Got confused when buying these animals of what I actually wanted, turns out I don't actually need a chicken just the egg and I have already procured a toad. Owl Sidero Cain Are you having trouble with moving and low activity? Well just contact Marie Clint and explain your problem with laziness during quarantine and get your pepper up potion today! Owl Healer Clint at St. Mungos! FOR SALE: Lockhart's Break with a Banshee, Gadding with Ghouls and Magical Me RARE UN-SIGNED EDITIONS! I ask at least 2 galleons each, but if you buy all 3 I will give a 1 galleon discount. Please owl T. E. Amady.

LOST AND FOUND

Lost: A copy of 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' by Newt Scamander while at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. Will give a reward of 3 galleons for returning it. Owl Tanya Wakefield to set up a meeting place.

Have you lost your Holyhead Harpies hat in the Three Broomsticks? If so, owl Isadora Bellevue and write your address and the word that was written on the brim of the hat, and I'll send it to you

MISSED CONNECTIONS

Looking for young man with the white Kneazle and black cane. Met on the Knight Bus and discussed the ice cream flavors at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour Would love to chat again! The stunning blonde in the grey robes. You were walking through Diagon alley when I ran up to you, grabbed your bag and apparated away. I liked what I saw, from the look in your eyes I think you did to. Your passionate gaze tranfigured my stomach into butterflies ever since! Hogs Head 7pm tonight?

HELP WANTED

Looking for an experienced baby-sitter to look after my 4 year old son for 8 hours a day, 6 days a week while I'm at work. Should be able to put basic meals together and do some household chores. Please owl Natalia Dragomiroff if you'd be up for it. Elderly witch (108 years old) looking for someone able to shop on my behalf during the outbreak. Needs to be reliable and trustworthy. Can pay 3 sickles per shop. [REDACTED] searching for [REDACTED] for assistance with [REDACTED] [REDACTED]! Must have 5 years experience with [REDACTED]. Contact [REDACTED] by Owl in the Department of Mysteries.

young witch/wizard who wishes for the thrill of solo adventure and world travel as well as some gold in their pocket. I have recently come into possession of an old papyrus diagram to a hitherto-uncracked pyramid in the heart of Egypt. The bungling administrators at Gringotts have let the opportunity to fund an expedition pass them by, and their folly can be your windfall! One map to the pyramidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s treasure chamber will be given to the selected budding explorer who has what it takes to make their own fortune. 7+ N.E.W.T.s needed, knowledge of curses prefered. 500 galleons or equivalent in antiquities required for collateral of chart lease and prospective share (lead surveyor). Remuneration upon receipt of any yield after gross, travel expenses considered! Untold treasure and exhilaration await! Letters of interest can be sent to the Leaky Cauldron for Prof. M. Fletcher, interviews to follow with the most qualified candidates. HELP WANTED: I'm a witch who has recently moved in alone, and am having some trouble with managing the house. I'm looking for someone who could teach me some useful household spells and sometimes help me out with the chores here and there Hello all! I'm currently looking for another green thumb to help with my gardens. MUST love plants, even the ones that bite. Not for the faint-hearted. Pay is 1 Galleon an hour, for about 6 hours of work a week. Great for the recent Hogwarts graduate! Please Owl soon!

BUSINNESS/ OFFERS

Want to impress your friends by being an amazing duelist? Come to Neddy's Pub, Knightridger Street for a free class! If you'd like, you can continue for only 20 sickles for each class afterwards Want to look spell-binding in your new summer robes? Join Tabitha's Fitness center today! For further details, please send an owl to Tabitha Marie Noley New Product! Honeyduke's has come out with a new flavor of candy! It's a normal-looking sucker, but the person who eats it knows it's not. It has multiple different flavors, like grape, strawberry, blueberry, banana, etc. Every lick is a new flavor! Sold at all locations. The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes just came out with a new product! They're called 'Freezovers'. They make whoever eats them freeze in place! Now that is cool! MEMORABILIA MUCH DESIRED Official Omnioculars from 1994 Quidditch World Cup. Had a pair from the event, my father got us tickets back when the championship game was hosted in England Had a wonderful time, many cherished memories there We recently had a Niffler infestation at the house and after they were humanely transported from the property we were able to recover much of our shiny possessions, but a few pieces are still lost, possibly forever, and most precious to me were the Omnioculars Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had since childhood. Willing to pay a reasonably high price for a replacement pair that can be verified with the 1994 series embossment Isaac Nimrud, Ilkley, West Yorkshire

A UNIQUE BUSINESS VENTURE Seeking an open-minded 127

QUIBBLER BONUS PUZZLE

Can you find these fantastic beasts?

• • • • • • • • • • • • 128

BASILISK BILLYWIG CENTAUR CHUPACABRA CRUP DEMIGUISE ERKLING EVIL FLOBBERWORM HORKLUMP HUMDINGER KELPIE

• • • • • • • • • • •

LETHIFOLD MURTLAP NARGLE OCCAMY QUITAPED RUNESPOOR SNIDGET SWOOPING VIPERTOOTH WEREWOLF WRACKSPURT

Logi Puzzle Answer Key

Letter Hussle Answer Key

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QUIBBLER CREDITS

Ads

Witch's Brew

Artist: anne_seelmann

Cover

Illustration: Anne_seelmann Layout: KackelDackel

Summer Gala

Artist: CynicForever7 Images: Parchment clipart https://cdn.clipart.email/ Ministry Logo © MinaLima and Warner Bros. Studios

Castles and Burrows

r/52WeeksOfReading

The_Architect_Nurse

Artist: KackelDackel Images: "Books" - Free-Photos - Pixabay https://pixabay.com/photos/books-pages-story-storiesnotes-1245690/

r/SlytherinBookClub

Artist: KackelDackel Images: "Snake Skin" - Engin_Akyurt - Pixabay https://pixabay.com/photos/skin-texture-patternnobody-3052636/

r/HufflepuffBookClub

Artist: KackelDackel Images: "Hardwood Floor" - messomx - Pixabay • https://pixabay.com/photos/floor-wood-hardwoodfloors-1256804/

Classifieds Contributors:

• • • • • • • • • • • •

130

B CynicForever7 Eldis_ Im_Finally_Free Meepster27 penelopeautumn res30stupid Rottweiler_Lover3047 SiriuslyLoki731 StockParfait TipsyTippett XanCanStand

The House on Dragon Tooth Drive Author: silvertail8 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration:

Gotcha

Author: silvertail8 Layout: SinsationalDoom Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Crafts, Hobbies, and Brews Leta's Lettuce Soup

Author: DracoMalfoyTrash Layout: KackelDackel Photography: DracoMalfoyTrash

You Put Harry Potter in my Dungeons & Dragons? A Magic Item for Use with 5th Edition Author: BirdmanDodd Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Pea and Spinach Risotto with a Crab Salsa Author: TipsyTippett Layout: KackelDackel Photography: TipsyTippett

How to Make a House Pride Bracelet Author: auntieabra Layout: KackelDackel Photography: auntieabra

Dark Arts

My Boggart and Me

Author: Silvertail8 Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Sinsational Doom

Durendal

Author: Silvertail8 Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Sinsational Doom

KackelDackel

New Diagon Alley Entrance - Ministry Statement Author: Dries23 Layout: KackelDackel

A Closer Look at the Sun Author: XanCanStand Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Milomi10

Elemental Wand Safety

Opinion: An Observation on Magical Education Regarding the History of Elves

Author: Silvertail8 Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Sinsational Doom

Author: RedheadPeregrine Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Anne_seelmann

Divination

Entertainment

Author: starflashfairy Contributors: cynicforever7 TipsyTippett Rottweiler_Lover3047 KackelDackel Photo: Hand with Crystal Ball by Kaboompics - Pixabay â&#x20AC;˘ https://pixabay.com/photos/crystal-glass-balllittle-small-791376/

Author: V391Pegasi Layout: KackelDackel

Ask Madam Starflash

Ghost

5 Sexy Tips to Ensnare the Wizard in Your Life

Author: KackelDackel Layout: KackelDackel

Hogwarts Horoscopes Summer 2020 Author: starflashfairy

Education

How to Study for OWLS When the Weather is Nice Author: cynicforever7 Layout: KackelDackel

Basic Bumps and Bruises Author: silvertail8 Layout:

A Dream

Author: Milomi10 Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: anne_seelmann

What Bertie Botts Every Flavored Bean Are You? Author: auntieabra Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: PurpleCloaker

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QUIBBLER CREDITS KackelDackel

What Ilvermorny House Are You Base on Your Honeydukes Preferences? Author: auntieabra Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: Rasberry_cordelia

Escape Wizards

Author: _sahmwife_ Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Drift/The Forbidden Forest

Author: v391pegasi Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Free-Photos - Pixabay https://pixabay.com/photos/forest-foggy-mistytrees-1030832/

Would Your Rather?

Author: blxckfire Layout: permagrinfalcon Illustration: PurpleCloaker

Logi Quiz

Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Eldis_

Would Your Rather?

Author: CynicForever7 Layout: permagrinfalcon Illustration: PurpleCloaker

Letter Hussle Author: Eldis_ Layout: Eldis_ Illustration: Eldis_

To Be a Slytherin by Morgana Deryn: A Review Author: Meepster27 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: ICantReachtheOctave

Somewhere, Somtimes: The Other Side Author: Milomi10 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Milomi10

Quizzical Quibbler Quiz: What Do Your Summertime Activities Say About You? Author: LolaRamob Layout: 132

Top 10 Pranks in Hogwarts History Author: CynicForever7 Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: PurpleCloaker

Fantastic Beats Crossword Author: Permagrinfalcon Layout: KackelDackel

Fashion

Harry Potter House Nails Made (Relatively Easy): A Step by Step Guide Author: Meepster27 Layout: KackelDackel Photography: Meepster27

Shelly Mer's Summer Collection: Suits, Shades, and Screen Author:

StockParfait Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: AnnaliseArt - pixabay • https://pixabay.com/illustrations/pin-up-girls-pinups-vargas-girls-5293151/ 412designs - pixabay • https://pixabay.com/illustrations/wizard-hatcostume-magician-4367020/

From Rompers to Robes: Araminta Deschamps, Up Close and Personal Author: Raspberry_cordelia Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Raspberry_cordelia

Seaweed Dragon Nesting Season Author: StockParfait Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Anne_seelmann

A Kiss from Not a Rose Author: silvertail8 Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: SinsationalDoom

News and Features The Sensational Virus

SEEP-37 Blocking Masks: Maggie's Must-Have Multi-Purpose Masks Author: Silvertail8 Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration:

SinsationalDoom

Magical Plants and Creatures

Discoveries of Corbin Hediadar: The Curious Case of the Missing Tengu Author: Rhia1 Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: anne_seelmann

Interview with the Only Wizard Known to Keep Rowenalis Lazuli, the Ravenclaw Bug Author: MakerTinkerBakerEtc Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: anne_seelmann

Author: TheSCP_2008 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: SinsationalDoom

The 22nd Anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts Author: jace2710 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Ministry Wizard Left Defenseless Against Muggle Pranks Author: yellowroseredd Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Milomi10

Family of Turkish Longtails Found on Mount Ararat Author: jasmin_11 Layout: KackelDackel

RARE ROWENALIS LAZULI SPOTTED IN LAKE Elfie's Dust for Your Soul DISTRICT Author: Author: Eldis_ Layout: Anne_seelmann Illustration: Anne_seelmann

Milomi10 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Milomi10

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QUIBBLER CREDITS Cream.jpg

Immutatio: The New Sensational Spell and More Author: Milomi10 Layout: KackelDackel

Sports

Your Guide to Yoga Author: Milomi10 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Milomi10

Wizard Charms Ball During Muggle Game Author: dracomalfBoy Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Ranking the Top Ten Best Broomsticks of 2020 Author: blxckfire Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: PurpleCloaker

Travel

Muggle Candy Worth Traveling For: East Asia Edition

Author: Eldis Layout: KackelDackel Photos: "White Rabbit Candy Logo" - Chinese Food Wiki • https://www.chinesefoodwiki.org/images/c/ca/ White_Rabbit_Candy_LOGO.jpg "Pian Tang" - Anna Frodesiak - Wikipedia • https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ c1/Peen_tong_-_01.jpg "Boortsog" - Vidor - Wikipedia • https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/ thumb/b/b4/Boortsog.JPG/1024px-Boortsog.JPG "Yaksik" - Hyeon-Jeong Suk - Wikipedia • https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ commons/2/2e/Yaksik.jpg "Mochi" - Charles Nguyen - Wikipedia • https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/ thumb/0/05/Mochi_Ice_Cream.jpg/1280px-Mochi_Ice_ 134

Sources: • A special thanks to my friends Hamlet & Corinna, who helped me with my research. • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahua_%28snack%29 • https://www.travelchinacheaper.com/china-candysweets-guide • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon%27s_beard_ candy • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peen_tong • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zaotang • https://publicholidays.cn/mid-autumn-festival/ • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mooncake • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_and_ dependencies_by_population_densityhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boortsog • https://www.finedininglovers.com/article/discovering-mongolia-through-its-traditional-dishes • https://www.mongolfood.info/en/recipes/ul-boov.html • http://www.fictionkitchenpodcast.com/korean-sugar-candy/ • https://mykoreankitchen.com/korean-sweet-rice-withdried-fruit-and-nuts/ • https://www.koreanbapsang.com/songpyeon-halfmoon-shaped-rice-cake/ • http://blog.snackfever.com/2017/01/top-10-best-korean-candy-2016/ • https://japanesesnackreviews.blogspot.com/2013/04/ haitai-sweet-redbean-bar.html • https://www.therichest.com/buzz/15-unexpected-kitkat-flavors-from-japan/ • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mochi • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocky • https://www.japancandystore.com/fujiya-milky-candy-box • https://www.epersianfood.com/boortsog/#Ingredients • http://eastmeetskitchen.com/videos/recipes/foolproof-kohakutou-japanese-rock-candy

Muggle Candy Worth Traveling For: Oceania Edition Author: Eldis Layout: KackelDackel

Photos: "Tim Tams" - Bilby - Wikipedia • https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/ thumb/1/16/Tim_Tams.jpg/1280px-Tim_Tams.jpg "Pavlova" - Hazel Fowler - Wikipedia • https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/ thumb/6/67/Pavlova_dessert.JPG/1280px-Pavlova_ dessert.JPG "Cookie Time Original" - Kiwi Corner Dairy • https://kiwicornerdairy.com/pub/media/catalog/ product/cache/02de9f15904050a853201665f0046d23/

c/o/cookie-time-cookies-chocolate-chunk-85g_1.jpg Sources: • Special thanks to my sister and the Ravenclaw subreddit for their help with my research. • https://stylecaster.com/australian-snacks-candy/ • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gaytime • https://theculturetrip.com/pacific/australia/articles/australias-10-most-loved-desserts/ • http://www.cestchristine.com/2011/08/five-iconic-australian-sweets/ • https://www.dailyedge.ie/australian-snacks-2128223Jun2015/ • https://www.nullarbornet.com.au/themes/quandongs. html • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witchetty_grub • https://manofmany.com/lifestyle/food/top-40-australian-lollies-candy-sweets • https://trip101.com/article/traditional-food-in-new-zealand • https://nzpocketguide.com/new-zealand-food/ • https://www.healthline.com/health/manuka-honey#use • https://www.newzealand.com/us/feature/favourite-new-zealand-foods/ • http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/food-wine/8901249/ Kiwi-snacks-ranked-in-order-of-greatness • https://www.saveur.com/best-new-zealand-snack-food/ • https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/chewy-anzac-biscuits2/14b45c74-daeb-426e-a9e8-7b213e955502

Duvets, Doors, and Dragons: How to Spice Up Your Weekend Summer Getaways! Author: Raspberry_cordelia Layout: KackelDackel

Genevive Les Vacances Author: Silvertail8 Layout: KackelDackel Illustrations: SinsationalDoom

The Mysteries of Easter Island Author: BirdmanDodd Layout: KackelDackel Illustrations: Milomi10

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