The Quibbler Summer 2021 by Hogwarts Quibbler

Editor-In-Chief & Divination Dept Head Starflashfairy Gryffindor Managing Editor NDoraTonks

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Hufflepuff Managing Editor L-ily Ravenclaw Managing Editor Eldis_ Slytherin Managing Editor Im_Finally_Free Production Manager KackelDackel Production Assistants Anne_Seelman Permagrinfalcon PocketPropagandist strikeblazer Web-Wizard Oomps62 Archives wiksry Payroll Marx0r Art Dept Head SinsationalDoom Castles & Burrows Dept Head blxckfire Classifieds L-ily Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies Dept Head Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts Dept Head VinumCupio Divination Flabbergasted_Rhino Education Dept Head Starboost3 Entertainment Dept Head silvertail8 Fashion Dept Head XanCanStand Magical Plants & Creatures Dept Head Ukpikjuaq News & Features Dept Head TipsyTippett Sports Dept Head Macallion Travel Dept Head mrsvanchamarch

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ytodpdjebaotjeo The Editors Deskq

1 Editor’s Desk Summer 202 Starflash dam Ma of k des From the Greetings, dear Readers! t. Life’s tough. Get a helme you! May Fortune Smile upon r-in-Chief ~Madam Starflash, Edito

THE QUIBBLER: NO. 34864 SUMMER 2021 THIS ISSUE OF THE QUIBBLER WAS CREATED, WRITTEN, PRODUCED AND REVIEWED BY THE HOGWARTS STAFF AT /R/THEQUIBBLER. THIS ISSUE FEATURES ARTICLES THAT EXPOSE THE TRUTH. SELLING OVER 1,500,000 COPIES WITH OVER 29,000 DIFFERENT ISSUES, WE ARE THE WIZARDING WORLD’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE AND REASON SINCE 1989. WE THANK YOU FOR READING AND PURCHASING OUR SMALL INDEPENDENT NEWS MAGAZINE

Welcome to OUR BRAND NEW issue of the Quibbler. Below is an overview of everything you can find in this All new edition of the Quibbler! We hope you find the experience Both enlightening and entertaining! THE BIGGEST STORIES FROM THE

FRONTPAGE:

70 71 73

Homophobia: A Muggle Invention? A look into the LGBTQ+ in the magical community.

The Chudley Cannons Bring a Victory FINALLY.

Best Wizarding Summer Destinations Get your sunscreen ready!

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BREAKING NEWS:

jfjsdjwfksfkljklwenjkfnzwdiewghiorndgknakflenifnsdnakhwroiuwehdnmd, Castles and Burrows. .............................. 07

Travel....................................................... 73

Crafts, Brews, and Hobbies. ................... 17

Independent Art. .................................... 76

Divination................................................ 26

Horoscopes. ............................................. 80

entertainment......................................... 29

Classifieds................................................ 81

fashion...................................................... 54

Auror Logs...............................................82

& Creatures.................... 64

Credits. .................................................... 84

magical plants

News and Features.................................. 68 Sports. ...................................................... 71

STAFF:

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Editor-In-Chief: Starflashfairy Managing Editors: Im_Finally_Free, L-ily, NDoraTonks, Eldis_ Administration: Marx0r, Oomps62, Wiksry Layout and Design: KackelDackel, Anne_Seelman, Permagrinfalcon, PocketPropagandist, strikeblazer Art: Sinsational Doom Castles & Burrows: blxckfire Classifieds: L-ily Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies: Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts: VinumCupio Divination: Flabbergasted_Rhino Education: Starboost3 Entertainment: silvertail8 Fashion: XanCanStand Magical Plants & Creatures: Ukpikjuaq News & Features: TipsyTippett Sports: Macallion Travel: mrsvanchamarch Contributors: 7ustine, Auntieabra, Bartooliinii, Bubbles_The_Defender, Calleva_Rocks, Eldis_, Jumatsuga, KackelDackel,

Lyrical_Bee, Minute-Egg, Mylifeambitiom, NickBot848, Patatas0, Queen_of_Darkeness, RainwhalTheRavenclaw, Rhia1, Rimeofthekikimaiden, Starflashfairy, The_Architect_Nurse, ThePureBloodIdiot, Veganjarl, Wiksrytest, XanCanStand

CASTLES AND BURROWS QUIBBLER

- Eldis_

don’t know about you all, but I love walking through IKEA. There is something about those high ceilings, clearly-marked meandering pathways, the absurd amount of couches grouped, and the presence of other people discussing furniture to buy that is just highly calming to me. I remember going to IKEA reasonably regularly, at least twice a year, with my parents. My mum and I would stroll past those tiny rooms and ruthlessly criticise the way they were designed and decorated. Fake flowers? Those will become dusty in no time, and they are a nightmare to clean. Cupboards with glass doors? You’re never going to keep the inside of those cupboards neatly organised and clean, and those windows will be

covered in fingerprints by you before you know it. The drawers will be impossible to open with that handle if you’ve got dirty hands whilst cooking. And that desk will never have enough room for all the documents—stuff like that. After walking through the entire top floor, we, being IKEA family members, would pause for a free coffee or tea and maybe a tiny sweet treat at the restaurant before continuing our journey down the escalators to the ground floor, continuing our evaluation of the products on display. Not consistently negative, very frequently very positively as well. Ooh, if you do that, the light dims? And look how smart you can collapse this, so it doesn’t take up that much space! And before paying for our stuff, we visited the bargain-deal corner too,

QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

after which maybe (if I practised my puppy-eyes well enough) I could also buy an ice cream cone and a coin so I could ‘tap’ my ice cream. As you can read, I have many happy memories at IKEA. Now that I have moved out of my parental home and into the Quibbler tower, I live closer to an IKEA than when I grew up. And it is incredible. Whenever I get stuck with an article, can’t bring myself motivated, or get a mind-shattering anxiety attack that I cannot escape from, I just grab my quills, ink and parchment and get myself to IKEA. Just simply sitting there in the restaurant, with two or three free coffees. The trick is to get two or three mugs since. Being an IKEA Family member, it’s free anyway. You can pretend it’s for friends who are already seated somewhere, and then get one or two fancy coffees for taste and then a black coffee for the caffeïne. Alternatively, just get a whole bunch of tea because those mugs are super tiny), and let that creativity flow! The delicious €0,95 chocolate chip cookies help too. And since this means I had to exit my house, travel to IKEA and then sit down there in different surroundings than my anxiety attack started, it usually means my brain calms down a bit. But because I want my brain to keep calming down when I enter an IKEA, I also visit the place when I am doing very well and when I am thrilled because I don’t want my brain to make the ‘IKEA= anxiety attack’ link. So, essentially every time I exit IKEA, I leave it happier than I entered it. One can directly graph the quality of my mental health compared to the time it has been since my last visit to IKEA. Also, a direct graph of the number of eggs I’ve hatched in Pokemon Go and the number of times I have recently visited IKEA, since I, on my phone, am entirely dependent on wifi and therefore can’t make any kilometres in the game. However, two rounds through IKEA (one round 8

through the top level, one round through the ground level) add up. But, as you might have guessed. IKEAs in my country are closed for lockdown reasons. Every time I see that blue building when travelling to and from work, my heartaches. And the worst thing about the three times I have been tested (negatively, luckily) for COVID. Isn’t that weird feeling in your nose whilst they are testing you? Or the nerves, refreshing the results page every ten seconds when you get home or the fear I might have already infected someone else with COVID before I got myself tested. No, the worst thing is that the testing location is directly next to the closed and dark IKEA, with its empty parking lot and tied-down flags. In the times I need to visit the IKEA the most, I cannot. It is genuinely poetic cruelty. This all reminds me of Ron’s emotional range being a teaspoon; I am once an inch away from the emotional explosion :/ There is one spot of light on the horizon, though. We are now allowed to book a timeslot to enter stores, which includes IKEA. So, whilst my beloved restaurant remains closed, and I cannot enjoy a calm stroll through the store, I will be able to visit soon to pick up a plant, a bookcase and a new weckpot. And to pop by the bargain-corner, of course.

QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

Ganzenbord & Pancakes,

The Ultimate Combo

CASTLES AND BURROWS QUIBBLER

know we all miss going to • Pancakes (optional, but highly restaurants, and even though recommended) I didn’t frequent restaurants even Back In The Normal The game’s ultimate goal is to arrive at Days, I miss the authentic the end of the board: square #63. HowDutch pancake restaurants. No ever, you are but a tiny little golden matter how hard you try, you can never snitch, and there are many dangers on make a pancake restaurant pancake at your path to victory! home, yourself. Every kitchen consists solely of wizards profi- DUTCH PANCAKES [for +- 12 pancakes] cient in wandless magic, makIngredients: • 300 gr flour ing pancakes no muggle can • Pinch of salt replicate at home. But although • Two eggs • 500 ml milk [semi-skimmed] pancakes are delicious, and I • Two tablespoons of vanilla sugar or one 8 gr bag of Dr Oetker do sincerely miss the Real Deal, Vanilla Sugar • Butter for baking that is not the whole extent of • Optional: cinnamon what a pancake restaurant is 1. Mix the flour, salt and sugar and, if you want, add some cinnaabout. Because an authentic mon. Dutch pancake restaurant has 2. Add the eggs and gradually mix in the milk whilst whisking [by hand] continuously. this unexplainable vibe known 3. Heat a frying pan. as “gezellige”, it should have a 4. The batter should be easily pourable without any clumps. It should have a more liquid structure than yoghurt! These are little play space for kids. It also Dutch pancakes we’re baking, not thick American ones! needs a cup with crayons or co- 5. When your frying pan is sufficiently warm*, grease it with some butter loured pencils on the table, and 6. Pour in a bit of dough, lifting and tilting the pan to make it paper placemats with the menu spread out over its bottom. 7. Temper the heat a bit and bake until the top is dry on one side and a black-and8. Flip the pancake around and bake until both sides are golden white ganzenbord game which brown you can colour with the previEnjoy warm with (powdered) sugar, Nutella, jam, honey, syrup, ously mentioned pencils, on the blueberries, blackberries, warm applesauce. other. ‘Ganzenwho?’ I hear you For the experienced baker, you can also add some thinly sliced ask? Well, let me share with apple, banana or pineapple immediately after pouring the dough into the pan. Once it’s done baking, throw some raisins, sugar & you the joy, pleasure and comcinnamon on there for peak deliciousness! petition that is ganzenborden or ‘geese boarding’.

You will need

* you can test this by dipping a fork in water and letting a drop fall from it into the pan. If it immediately evaporates, it is not warm enough. If the drop ‘dances’ around the pan, it is.

• 2 D6 • At least one person to play with you (the official rules state that 2-6 people can play, but you are your independent person who can make their own decisions) • One token for each player

Decide who gets to go first. The more arbitrary the reason, the better. The person with a unique eye colour, the one who got their hair cut most recently, the one who did schedule 11

QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

CASTLES AND BURROWS QUIBBLER

an appointment with their dentist when they reached the reminder. Or just let everyone roll one dice, and the person who rolled highest can start. After that, the turn moves clockwise. If you land on an already occupied spot, you will have to return to the place you left from. On each player’s turn, they roll both dice. The number of eyes is the number of spots you can go forward. If you, on your first throw, roll a five and a 4, you can move on to nr 53. These rules only count when you throw to leave ‘start’. Along the path are various spots with a picture rather than a number. These will determine your road to success.

need to return to #39 • If you land in Azkaban, you need to wait until one of your fellow players passes you by. If there are no players behind you, skip two turns • If you get hit with the Killing Curse [#58], I am afraid you have passed away. You need to return to ‘start’ and begin your journey anew. If you have braved all these dangers and #63 is in sight, you might feel like victory is yours. And it might as well be, but only if the dice are in your favour, for you need to land precisely on #63. If you have landed safely on #59, and you roll a five and a 4 (making a total of 9), II fear you will end up being hit by the killing curse. You have to move your token precisely the number of eyes on your dice so that this roll will land you from 59 ⇒ 60 ⇒ 61 ⇒ 62 ⇒ 63 ⇒ 62 ⇒ 61 ⇒ 60 ⇒ 59 ⇒ 58.

• If you land on a picture of a golden snitch, luck is in your favour! You have to move the same number of spots forward again! • So if you rolled a four and a 1, and you landed on a golden snitch, you have to move another five steps forward during your turn. CHEAT SHEAT • If you land in the boats to • Golden snitch - move the same # forward again Hogwarts [#6], you get to • Hogwarts boats [#6] - skip ahead to #12 move to #12 • Leaky Cauldron [#19] - skip one turn • If you land in the Leaky Caul- • The dungeons [#31] - wait until one of your fellow players passes you by. No players behind dron[#19], you need to skip you? Skip two turns. one turn • Triwizard Tournament’s maze [#42] - return to #39 • If you land in the dungeons • Azkaban - wait until one of your fellow players [#31], you need to wait until passes you by. No players behind you? Skip two one of your fellow players turns. • Killing Curse [#58] - return to start passes you by. If there are no players behind you, skip two turns • If you land in the Triwizard Tournament’s maze [#42], you

QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER

, s s e n d a M h s s g e u o n d d r a S h Sou g u o d r u So dis_ l E y b -

o, it has been well over a year since this whole mess *gestures broadly* started. And it has been well over a year since the Big Bread Baking Craze of 2020. Now, the Big Bread Baking Craze did not really hit me that hard, except for the fact that it was annoying that yeast was sold out in literally every store I entered, because even before all of this I regularly baked bread. Well, mostly breadsticks, because those are delicious. I really really love baking, but I am 17

QUIBBLER CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES

also indoctrinated by society's beauty standards and bread is just about the only thing you can bake that doesn't have sugar (or any other, justas-sweet replacement) as an ingredient. With the added benefit that eggs aren't on the ingredient list either, which my wallet thoroughly appreciated. Biological eggs where the actual chickens who laid them are treated at least somewhat decently quickly cost at least €0,25 a piece.

the beginning of online class because I was very stressed and I had thought that the dough would be ready before class started, but it wasn't. The professor said something

And as a human being I love me some Carbs™ and as a true Dutchie I love me some bread, so bread baking it is. Long story short: if you see me baking bread, I am either super stressed or really relaxed. My friends know this about me, so a dear friend of mine gave me a book with bread baking recipes. It's a wonderful tome of a book, one I could easily defend myself with if any intruders enter my house (because Freya knows Goose has zero protective tendencies, he's too cute for that). I have already successfully made things like matzes and knäckebröd and a different breadstick recipe than I usually use, to name a few. So last March, a year after COVID hit my country, I finally opened the book at the "how to make your own sourdough starter"-page and finally dipped my toe in the sourdough bread trend. Now. Some background about me and sourdough. I don't have any experience with it, and I have barely ever eaten it either. I had it once about three years ago, when the woman who owned the lovely Airbnb my parents and I were staying at on Vancouver Island had baked us a loaf as a welcome present. So incredibly kind of her! We were also allowed to pick from her vegetable garden and she and her husband invited us over for dinner once, it was really lovely. But I digress. The bread was nice and beautiful and we enjoyed it. It did, however, take me some time to get used to the taste. My second experience with sourdough was not an in-person experience. I was kneading dough at 18

about it, since, whilst I tried to knead out of frame, I accidentally put the dough in frame when readjusting my seat. I pretended to stop kneading, but I did, of course, continue. There are some perks to this whole online situation.

CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER

This professor also happened to be my thesis advisor, and I had a meeting with him after the class. He is generally well-known to be very imposing and extremely full of him-

sourdough bread. "No, just regular with yeast," I answered. "Oh," he said. "I have several sourdough starters. I have named them after English Kings, because they keep reproducing," he said. And I'm sitting there, in my room, trying not to absolutely burst out laughing with that new tidbit of information and have a serious conversation about my process for writing my thesis. With this context out of the way, we are now a year later and I am holding this book, and I have a course from this same professor again and I’m desperately missing the wonderful Vancouver and Vancouver Island, so I finally decided to join the trend and go make my own real actual sourdough starter. Fantastic. That's the moment where it all went wrong.

self, and he is also famously extremely secretive about everything in his personal life. Even his colleagues don't know his nationality, for example. He asked me if I was making

Firstly, the recipe was extremely unclear. I believed I had to remove 25 grams from the mixture every day, and then add 25 grams of water and 25 grams of flour. This means, for those better at maths than I am, that the mixture grows with 25 grams each day. Yet I add the same amount of food, even though the mixture keeps growing. That, obviously, doesn't work. That’s like feeding a teenager as much as you fed them whilst they were still a toddler. I did get some bubbles, but not nearly enough to know it is active. And it was really, really liquid. So I do the only thing I know how to do: I Google it. And when Google doesn't show me any pictures of how liquid a sourdough starter is supposed to be, I turn to reddit. I have to say, r/sourdough seems like a wonderful community. And apparently a sourdough starter is supposed to be as liquid as American pancake batter. And you're not supposed to add the same amount of food each time, but do 1:1:1. Thank you for the help, long live the Internet. And long live my sourdough starter. Because with this newfound knowledge, it did wake. It came alive. And how. 19

QUIBBLER CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES

I returned home from work planning on making my first bread with the very active sourdough starter, which I had named Piers Plowman after the middle English poem, which is funny because we have about three versions of this poem (technically more because medieval manuscripts are finicky, but for the sake of simplicity I'll say three), and each version is significantly longer than the other. So, just like a sourdough starter is supposed to, it keeps growing.

But no. I have learned an expensive (and heavy) lesson during my sourdough adventures, one that has left me wondering why this is so incredibly popular. Sourdough starters are wasteful. Sourdoughs have to be fed every day, the proportions being, like I mentioned, 1:1:1. So if you've got 100 grams of sourdough starter, you need to add 100 grams of flour and 100 grams of water. Every. Day.

You can quickly figure that after one day, this Anyway, I returned home from work, threw my means you'll have 300 grams of starter. The secmask in the washing machine, washed my hands ond day you'll have 900. Etc etc. This is why you and pet Goose and I heard a very strange noise have to throw away half of your sourdough starter coming from my kitchen cupboard. Specifically, the each time when your sourdough isn't alive yet. kitchen cupboard containing the weckpot with my Which totals to about half a kilo of flour if you're sourdough starter. lucky and your sourdough comes to life within five days. And once your starter is alive, you still have That specific weckpot was about to explode. to continue to feed it! And when you want to turn it into bread you need to add even more flour, and It didn't. Explode, that is. Don't worry. IKEA you have to let it rise for 12+ hours! The process makes wonderfully strong products. I'm a big fan. is not even made easier by the fact you've done all What it did do was leak. Not much, luckily, but of this preparatory work! after some frantic cleaning and replacing and opening the weckpot (resulting in a loud PUFF So no. It was fun whilst it lasted, but I did send a and sourdough splattering EVERYWHERE) I now message with a doughverload of dough-puns in my had two sourdough starters. Enough to bake a student association's group app asking people if bakery full of bread. they wanted some of my sourdough. I managed to spread out all the leftover sourdough over four new So I got baking. houses who will hopefully be more successful at making sourdough bread than I am, because I most I made one loaf of bread (successful, though very certainly did not get a nice rise with those air bubdense and not with those wonderful air pockets bles. Instead, I got a more cake-like structure. you see in pictures), two baguettes (with some air pockets, but not successful) and a delicious raisin I'll stick to the little packages of yeast for my bread (A+, amazing, highly recommended). And I bread. The bread it creates is finished quicker, still had too much sourdough leftover. tastes better, has a nicer raise and is a whole lot less wasteful. If I use 300 grams of flour, I will eat Now, you'd think: great! You have sourdough startthat entire 300 grams. er leftover, you can continue baking when you And that's what finish that loaf! No need to buy bread ever again! bread's truly about. That's a wonderful way to save the planet, since you no longer have those plastic bread bags and you lessen your carbon footprint because your bread doesn't have to come from some factory Sif-knows-where. 20

Do YOU have burning questions for our resident Seer and fairy, Madam Starflash? Got yourself in a relationship with a Vampire and don’t know if it’s going to work out? Debating on using a love potion on your biggest crush? Have a bully you’d love to get rid of? Don’t hesitate to ask! Madam Starflash ALWAYS has the right answer for you! Contact her in Divination Tower at /r/TheQuibbler now with your desperate questions! 222222

DIVINATION QUIBBLER

k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm Dear Madam Starflash,

Dear Madam Starflash,

Last week, my dear barn owl Saorai saw me send a letter with a different owl. Now she won’t look at me anymore! I explained to her that using a different owl for the letter was because I needed the note to be anonymous, but she keeps biting me whenever I approach her. How do I make it up to her? She's the best owl there is, but even in sending this letter to you, I am forced to use a different owl, which is making her even more upset!

Hello! Unfortunately, I am taking a high number of summer classes. I'm a good student and I'm worried about my grades going down. The boggart in my third year convinced me that my worst fear is failing (do I sound like Hermione yet?). Do you have any tips for me to do well and not burn out?

Sincerely, A Worried Owl-Friend Dearest Owl-Friend, Give her time, and plenty of Owl Treats. She’ll come around. May Fortune smile upon you! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Madam Starflash I have faced the loss of a loved one recently, and many other people reading this may have faced this too. My question is, what would be your advice for coping with these losses? Sincerely, A Viking With a Fedora Dearest Viking, This is a complicated question. Grief is different for everyone. Time is the only thing that will lessen the pain. May Fortune smile upon you!

Thanks! Sincerely, A Nervous Student Dearest Student, Take your time. Make sure you take a thirty minute break for every two hours of studying and homework. Have plenty of healthy snacks on hand; feed your body, feed your mind. Find time for leisure activities. Set yourself up with a bedtime and stick to it; rest is very important. Talk to your teachers if you need help. And most importantly, remember to take care of yourself. May Fortune smile upon you! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Madam Starflash, My parents are rather magic-phobic. Thanks to some memory charms, they don't know I'm a witch. However, my four-year-old brother seems to be a wizard, and it's difficult to hide. I can't keep asking to have their memory modified every time he uses magic, but I know first-hand how horribly he will be treated if they find out. I'm not sure what to do in this situation, as I can't exactly explain to a four-year-old what is happening. Please help! Sincerely, Bad Parents Dearest Parents, Your parents don’t know what’s happening. They are not actually magic-phobic. Memory charms can be reversed. Get help setting them straight. Once they’re in their right minds, you will see that they accept you and your brother for who you truly are. May Fortune smile upon you!

k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm 23

QUIBBLER DIVINATION

DIVINATION QUIBBLER

The Magician Upright: Willpower, application of intellect/logic, balance Reversed: Indecisiveness, weak intellect, arrogance Life isn’t all Mondays, sometimes the beginning is an excellent place to start. When it comes to the Major Arcana, the beginning is filled with an energy and fire similar to the Big Bang. Behold the Magician: a figure who uses the forces of the universe to accomplish his Will. He searches for knowledge to use - instead of holding onto the knowledge just for the sake of knowledge, he searches specifically for the tomes that will allow him to create what he needs. He is the Strength of Will and an excellent example of the proper application of Intellect. When the Magician appears in a reading, he represents what all ‘ones’ or ‘aces’ in the deck represent - the moment of divine inspiration that marks the start of creation. In the previous article, I mentioned the correspondences of each suit; to put it simply, Wands are fiery drive, Cups are watery emotion, Swords are windy intellect, and Pentacles are earthy practicality. The Magician (which traditional tarot art shows with all four suit symbols) combines the energies thus: upon the moment of the idea (swords), the seed (pentacles) is planted, and through the nurturing of water (cups) and the drive of nature (wand), the seed grows. Thus the Magician is the Ultimate Incarnation of the ‘Ace’ theme. Whatever venture you are about to undertake, he shows the Will and Drive to get it started. We connect this card with the Slytherin House, and its greatest member - Merlin, based on the most simple description of that noble house: ambition, cunning, and resourcefulness. He is searching for the Knowledge that will get him what he wants. While that may bring to mind a certain Dark Lord, such a goal does not automatically mean the Magician is prone to evil or selfishness; instead he is just as likely to use his knowledge to teach others. He understands the importance of balance and harmony; too much focus on the self is just as likely to throw things out of balance. Where there are things as we expect them, there must also be the blocked or reversed path as well. The Magician reversed shows all of the Willpower with none of the control. He will immediately use the knowledge and power he has gained without thought of the consequences that await his brash actions. He will believe that whatever he does is destined to work, regardless as to whether he has put in enough effort to earn it. Think of the Malfoys: they have the resources, so they feel they are immediately deserving of the benefits that hard work and research would have normally earned them. Draco supplies the entire Slytherin Quidditch team with Nimbus 2001 brooms, which should have easily outstripped the Gryffindor team, but Harry’s skill and ability still defeated Draco when it came down to it. As with all archetypes, this Arcana could be found in any house (including in distinguished Gryffindors such as Harry Potter or Albus Dumbledore). The purpose of the Arcana, and this one in particular, is to learn from all areas of life in order to find balance. Whether you are of the great and noble House of Slytherin or not, I encourage you to learn what you can from the Magician. He has learned much, and has much to teach. By auntieabra Illustration by patatas0

Layout by 7ustine 25

QUIBBLER DIVINATION

DIVINATION QUIBBLER

The Devil Upright: Discontent, Misuse of Force, Corruption, Materialism, Ignorance, Over Indulgence, Depression/Illness Reversed: Indecisiveness, Overcoming Materialism, Altruism, Selflessness

We have all felt the dark draw of negativity - whether it was in the darkness of depression or illness, or the corrupting influence of power. It threatens us with its strength and tries to twist us to its thrall, to use us to further the cause of darkness. So, you may ask, why would such a card be present in the Major Arcana? What could be learned from the darkness we regularly find ourselves fighting against? Think, instead, of every story you’ve ever read: the Hero cannot fully become a balanced character without tasting darkness and its influence. That great Muggle writer J.R.R. Tolkien had his main character, Frodo Baggins, literally feel the draw of darkness through the power of the One Ring. A Muggle filmmaker (films are a sort of Muggle creation that act out stories for permanence) George Lucas had his hero, Luke Skywalker, feel the pull from the dark side twisted with the appearance of his father, who had been thoroughly corrupted by the darkness. Even in our own world, we know from the memoirs of Harry Potter that he regularly felt the pull towards evil when he was connected to He Who Must Not Be Named. The Devil merely represents that pull: the attempt by darker forces to steer you from the path of the Hero by twisting your identity. Now more than ever, our world seems to be sinking into the darkness, and it frequently feels easier to simply go with the flow of the world than stand and fight it. To be the Hero, you need to go through the darkness and the temptation in order to know fully what you’re fighting against. He rarely, if ever, actually represents the person asking the question in the reading. More often than not you’ll find that the Devil represents the energy and influences at play in a situation, scarcely an actual person. The reverse of the Devil represents one of the interesting problems of Tarot reading: a reversed card can show the opposite of the influence normally represented, or it can represent a slightly ‘blocked’ version of the energy. In the case of the Devil, having it show up reversed in a reading could demonstrate: A. That the energy is there, but being held back by some other force, or not at it’s full power. B. That the energy has been ‘defeated’ or ‘overcome’ C. Or that it will be up to the person asking the question to determine whether the influence will come to fruition. In this case, we would look to the cards surrounding the Devil, or even discuss it with the person asking the question. In some cases, upon hearing the description above, they may realize they know precisely what the cards are referencing. While the Devil seems scary, and certainly not something we would want to see applied to ourselves, try to keep an open mind when it appears in your reading. More than anything else, it’s probably trying to tell you that it's time for you to become the Hero you were meant to be. By auntieabra Illustration by patatas0

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Swung by Serafim:

A Fanfic Review - Eldis_

What happens when a physically and mentally abused child forgets about their abusive childhood? What happens if that child is a national hero or at least for the society hidden in his nation? If that child is, for example, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived? It is a question Swung by Serafim addresses. In Harry’s second year at Hogwarts, Gilderoy Lockheart succeeds at his Obliviate spell, causing Harry to forget everything that happened in his life up until his parents’ death. Having forgotten the constant belittling and bullying he has been confronted with courtesy of the Dursleys, he returns Hogwarts a changed person. His newfound trust in Snape, the only person who does not force him to become the person he does not remember he was, the events we know from the original series take a drastically different turn. Flamethrower, the author of this 45-chapter, finished a fic, manages to adjust Harry’s behaviour realistically given the circumstances yet does not feel out of character for the Boy Who Lived we all know love. They go through the retellings of PoA, GoF and OOtP at a pleasantly rapid pace, slowing down and taking more time

after Dumbledore’s death and once Voldemort’s return is genuinely public knowledge. Most of the story is told from Snape’s point of view, but in a way that makes it the first-ever story where I am convinced of his proper, not-just-Lily-obsessed alignment with the Order. He and Lily are friends, no more, which makes for a much less creepy and disturbing plotline. It also becomes apparent quite quickly that even before the prophecy, Snape wanted to turn sides. Much character development and many of the choices made make more sense and feel more genuine. The primary strength of this fic is its world-building. Or, well, world-extending is probably a better word, since the core world has been built between 1997 and 2007. Flamethrower manages to add to the wizarding world at large wonderfully, its magic system, creating new spells, new mechanics and new potions which slot in perfectly with the canon universe whilst improving it immensely. It is a world that genuinely feels lived in, with a history longer than what first appears to the reader, something that gets extended as the fanfic progresses and more and more bits of information are offered. Every character, regardless of how necessarily altered, feels in nature with the primary series. The Hogwarts professors get some more time to shine, as do some of the usually more overlooked students. The Hogwarts educational system is also much improved as the fic progresses.

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The changes made in this canon divergence remove many of the inconsistencies present in the novels in a way that feels natural to the story.

of these potential downsides ruined the reading experience for me, as they are all relatively small things in the wonder that is the rest of this story.

A bonus to Swung by Serafim is the relationships described. It is most certainly a character-driven, not a shipping-focussed story. Still, the romantic relationships introduced are friendly, sweet, and humorous, with some lovely queer representation. However, the main focus lies on familiar relationships and friendships, which all further contribute to character development. Whilst I am usually not a fan of OCs with significant roles, Flamethrower beautifully introduces their OC Jade, allowing the reader to get used to her before her role grows. Towards the end of the story, she had rapidly become one of my favourite characters in this fic.

Swung by Serafim is a magical, wellthought-through, wonderfully character-driven, emotional and humourous I laughed out loud and startled my cat on multiple occasions - story, which has now become one of my favourite Harry Potter fics. I have spent too many nights reading till too late. In the final stretch, I was very involved in the story. I even read it as I stood in front of a red traffic light when cycling! It is a solidly long story – 352,375 words spread out over 45 chapters. I highly recommend opening it on your phone with the entire work loaded rather than a chapter-by-chapter view. It will allow you to read whenever is most convenient for you, without worrying about wifi or data when you want to move from one chapter to the next.

One downside of this fic can be that Harry occasionally disappears from the plot for long periods. In-world this absence makes sense, but I can imagine it has the potential to bother some readers. Additionally, the ancestry is occasionally traced a little too conveniently, which allows for excellent connections but can sometimes feel slightly unnatural. Particularly towards the end, there is one specific bout of magic that feels too foreign to the previously established world. Still, if one squints their eyes and just goes along with the author’s explanation of ‘ancient magic + magic from not-just-England’, it is not too bothersome. None

If you like character-driven stories, with sweet friendships and relationships, intriguing worldbuilding, and a well-flowing story, Swung by Serafim is the right story for you. Search for ‘Swung by Serafim flamethrower’ on Google or AO3, or follow the link or QRcode included in this article, and enjoy! https://archiveofourown.org/ works/9821300

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT Unus Annus. I bet when you read those words, you heard the rhythmic ticking of a clock. Those who haven’t heard of Unus Annus, or those who would like a reminder: Unus Annus was a YouTube Channel run by already well known Youtubers Ethan Nestor - aka Crankgameplays and Mark Fishbach - aka Markiplier. Working behind the scenes and helping with this Youtube project journey was Amy Nelson (who filmed nearly every episode, helped Mark and Ethan with content ideas, as well as edited videos), Lixian, and Dice roll. (additional editors that helped Ethan, Mark, and Amy) Unus Annus derives from the Latin term ‘One Year,’ their motto for the channel, along with Memento Mori - the Latin term for ‘Death is inevitable.’ The track was created on November 13th, 2019; by November 15th Unus Annus reached 500,000 subscribers, and on November 19th, they got their 1,000,000 subscriber milestone. Every day for a year, Ethan and Mark uploaded content for Unus Annus while juggling personal content for their own Youtube channels. They tried new things, did some insanely wacky shit, and completed a bucket list for an entire year. They dipped wax on each other with fellow Youtuber and friend Seán McLoughlin - aka Jacksepticeye, tried aerial dancing, been pepper-sprayed, and learned the art of miming, to name a few. For anyone lucky enough to be part of this wild ass journey, be it the entire year or for a week, I feel like the community can agree on two words that can sum up the fiasco: Weirdly Magical. Around the time Unus Annus was going, the Covid-19 pandemic hit, and that shit hit hard. Adjustments had to be arranged, friends and loved ones were forced to be away from one another, and other uncanny events dog-piled extra stress all over the world. Hate would be a powerful word for me to use, but damn did I loathe the 2020 year. I began doing some severe self-evaluation which sucked; my thoughts eating were much louder than before then. I hadn’t seen my friends, and the sudden cut off from human interaction did me in. I was a wreck. But I did have one thing going for me during this time that I looked forward to. You guessed it - Unus Annus. Every day I tuned in, excited to see just what those two dweebs were going to indulge in. And I loved it. I loved Ethan’s unhinged chaos, Mark’s foolishness that increased as time passed, and Amy’s witty remarks to their shenanigans. I loved their creativity and the quick, forced adaptation to coincide with the pandemic. I loved how quickly the community created such fantastic art and videos in their honor. And most importantly, I loved how much they’ve grown within a year. And before I knew it, time was up. It was emotional dread for the whole community - I was no exception. On its last day, I was getting ready to return home from vacation - it was a short vacation that intended to be a week but ended up lasting for two much needed months. I was packing my bags in my friend’s bedroom at the time, periodically taking breaks to watch their 24-hour live stream. When I finished, I just remained in their room, following along with the other watchers that tuned in. My stomach was in knots because I knew what would be 32

waiting for me when I came back home; Stress, that in-rut feeling, and my forever drained trait that seems to be part of my personality now. What’s worse is that I knew Unus Annus was ending. I didn’t want to think of the possibility of something I’ve grown to cherish so dearly suddenly disappear. I didn’t care if I knew it wasn’t as sudden as my brain was making it feel; I still wished that maybe they wouldn’t delete everything and all those memories. A couple of hours passed, and I was in my friend’s car, bags packed, well on my way home, and still conditioned into telling myself that Ethan and Mark would change their minds, that they’d keep the Youtube channel up so everyone could relive their wonderfully, beautiful chaos. But more importantly, so I could relive their wonderfully, beautiful mess - that was my hope. I was maybe a smidge over the halfway mark home when the live stream came to a close. Everyone who made Unus Annus possible - from the editors to guest hosts and the many people from many professions that they learned from had said their piece about Ethan and Mark and their journey. As the stream came to a close, Mark motioned for his girlfriend - Amy, to end the live stream along with them since she was a massive part of their journey as well. In those few final moments, the little tv behind them perched on a stand ticked down to zero. Ethan’s gaze watched the clock tick, a teary-eyed Amy held hers on the laptop screen in front of her, and Mark looked out to the audience, saving a little smirk; then, the screen went black. I went to their Youtube channel - just in case and I saw what I’ve known that was inevitable since Unus Annus’ trailer: The channel was deleted. Everything was gone. I let my phone lay on my lap and stare out the window. Once the realization set in, I pressed my cheek into the back of the seat I was sitting in and cried for a good five minutes. For a month, I was dreading the death of this channel. But the moment it happened, I wasn’t filled with dread - I was happy. In a wholesome, heartwarming way, Ethan and Mark were absurd, and I had the opportunity to be there right along with them. I could tell where Ethan began becoming more confident in his craft and with himself; and where Mark became more content with where he was in life. They worked themselves to the bone to push out content for everyone, and I had a damn ball. It was over, but I had no bitter taste in my mouth as I’d expected. My palate was sweet, and I was left satisfied, eager to experience what they had in store on their channels. I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss their hectic charm bouncing off from each other and that I don’t watch uploaded videos out of context holding unexplained clips. But, I can earnestly say that I am so proud of Ethan and Mark and all that they’ve accomplished up to this point. - By Bee

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A Deafening Silence I feel this Deafening silence. Holding me in place I've already tried running But there is no escape I've tried not to think about it To save me the pain But my mind always wanders back To the same thing again I replay the depressing scene. A million times, it seems Each time, it's the same as before But it still somehow hurts even more By the one and only, u/mylifeambitiom

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Entwined A Review by Eldis_ Heather Dixon. Greenwillow Books, €9,99 ISBN 9780062001030. Fantasy/Fairy Tale. Published 29/03/2011. ‘Azalea found herself forgetting about the wind and the cold, and dancing in a graveyard or even in mourning, about how wearing stiff boots hurt when she danced, and instead felt the familiar thrill flutter through her chest.’ After her mother’s death and her father leaving to fight in the war, Princess Azalea takes it upon herself to take care of her eleven younger sisters. The twelve princesses are frustrated by their limitations during their mourning period, especially the ban on dancing. When Azalea finds a D’Eathe mark, indicating one of the many secret passages left by an evil, magical King who ruled her country ages ago. Entering the passage, she and her sisters arrive in a magical pavilion where they are welcomed by the mysterious Keeper, who allows them to dance the night away without being discovered. Whilst the sisters try to keep their secret, the Keeper starts to steal their possessions and refuses to give them back until they set him free. Desperate to continue dancing, the girls ignore the Keeper’s threats, but when he locks Azalea inside the pavilion and threatens her sisters, she has to fight for her life, family, and kingdom.

In Entwined, Heather Dixon’s debut novel, she shows exactly why Disney hired her as a storyboard artist. This haunting retelling of Grimm’s The Twelve Dancing Princesses builds a beautiful world that, without being too descriptive, still allows the reader to clearly visualise Azalea, her sisters and their castle. She adds fascinating lore to the story and gives the sister the agency the original fairy tale denies them. Most of the classic features – the silver trees, the magical cloak, the suitors and the worn-out shoes – return in this enchanting novel. Although the story starts a bit slow, the gracious time-jumps allow the events to spread relatively evenly over the almost 500 pages of the book. Only in the final couple of chapters do events follow each other so rapidly that it warrants occasional re-reading of sentences for clarity. Through the eyes of Azalea, the reader will be taken with the mysterious Keeper, and only upon a second read discover Dixon’s masterful foreshadowing to his true identity. The many references to different dances are no hindrance to readers uneducated on the subject, whilst experienced dancers will enjoy recognising some of them. Many of the moves are made up by Dixon herself, allowing the readers to let their imagination run wild. Fans of fantasy and mystery will surely enjoy this riveting novel. Dixon’s Entwined gives an intriguing twist to an age-old story, exploring the importance of family during times of grief and hardship through the realistic relationship between the twelve sisters and their emotionally distant father, the King. This relationship, tied in with romantic subplots, mirrors the dance this book is named after: a display of the intricate human connections that entwine us all.

QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT It was silent around the group; only the steady breathing in-out-in could be heard, accompanied by the bubbles floating to the surface. It was a simple dive; a small team sent down to observe the damage the earthquake had done. The ocean floor was distorted, cliffs following ravines in an irregular pattern. The divers stayed together, fearing that a sudden undertow would drag one of them away. Upon the land, they had seen the damage the earthquake had done. Houses were demolished, people had died, families are torn apart. Compared with the chaos above, the silence underneath felt wrong, suspicious. As the group passed the broken wasteland of a once excellent coral reef, they got closer and closer to the focus of the quake. Once on the edge of the bottomless cliff, they floated silently, looking down. Suddenly, one of the divers came into motion, swimming down as if chased by the Kraken itself. The group automatically followed, confused. But one by one, they saw what the first of them had seen. Miles and miles beneath them, covered by a strange blue glow, was a city. And, as far as the small group of people breathing canned air could see, the city was alive. The old magician – a druid, to be exact – had been spending most of the past few days reading. “With all this studying, I’ll turn into a wizard.” He mumbled grumpily. He had never liked those bookworms; their high-brow behaviour always worked on his nerves. Those bards, they were nice fellows. With them, you could have fun. The old man shook his head, focusing again on the task at hand. The earth had shaken, the world around them had changed, and it was up to him to find out why. The city had lived in rest and peace for centuries. They hadn’t known war, no famine, no widespread diseases. What did they do to anger the Gods? What did they do to move the ground and shake the skies, and opened the rock above? The magician squeezed himself past the cluttered desks and broken bottles. He carefully stepped over the papers spread on the ground, making his way to the far end of his workshop. “Now, where did I put that thing…” he muttered. “Where did I put it, where did I put it, where did I put it- oh, there we go.” His old, veiny hand reached out, pushing one of the stones on the wall. The wall crumbled, moved, and made a place for an archway. The old man stepped through it, staggering. But there it was, the red, old, dusty book. It stood still, open on the marble table. The pages moved on their own as a broken quill filled the pages with ink, documenting the city and its inhabitants. “There, there,” the magician spoke. “That will be enough.” The pages stopped turning, the quill stopped writing, and the world stopped. 36

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER The city froze mid-motion. The water stopped flowing; people stopped walking, the birds hovered unmoving in the sky. The quill had stopped writing time, so the time had stopped to give the quill a rest. A man and woman stood, mid-kiss, silent in a stone-like wedding crowd. A few houses further, a mother smiles an endless smile as her child gives her a never-ending hug. The mice are frozen in fear as the cat behind them is rigid and unmoving. The priests’ bow, stuck in a forever-prayer to the Gods who shook the city. The only movement is in the catacombs, where an old druid reads an even older book, describing all of Atlantis from the beginning of time. As the divers come closer, their movements become more and more hurried. Their brains cannot keep up with what their eyes are seeing; their thoughts lack words for the glimmering city beneath them. But their sudden movements are stopped as they bump into what feels like an unbreakable wall of water. And beneath them, the once-bustling city contains. Silence is a funny thing. One can enter the forest and say, “it is so nice and quiet here.” But around them, birds are whistling, and trees are moving, and the wind is blowing. One can dive underwater and say, “I love the silence.” But you can hear the children scream their fun above you; you can listen to the splash as someone dives in. You can travel to most faraway places, go as far away from others as possible, but you will never live in true silence. Yet, the sunken city of Atlantis was completely and utterly silent, for sound cannot live without movement, and movement cannot live without time. The old druid looked broken. His skin is paperwhite, his eyes dull above blue bags, and his back hunched. He knew that what he had just learned had to stay secret; he knew that it could not be trusted to any sheets of paper or any inked quill except for the ones on the marble table in front of him. The Gods hadn’t been angry; the ground hadn’t moved out of their vengeance, the sky hadn’t been moved away out of punishment. The Gods hadn’t done anything to show their dissatisfaction with the people of the city. The Gods hadn’t at all. “Go ahead.” He sighed as he turned away and closed the archway behind him. And the world continued. Water continued flowing; people continued walking, the birds flew chirping through the sky. The quill had started writing time, so the time had begun giving the quill things to write about. A man and woman stood, kissing, in a cheering, lively wedding crowd. In a house in the distance, a mother smiles and laughs as her child hugs her. The mice flee in fear as the cat behind them runs chasing.

It could have been seconds; it could have been aeons, the divers did not know. But as suddenly as it had stopped, life began again. The wall of water opened, the bustling city moved again, and it was as if it had never stopped as if it was but a simple glitch, an illusion. The divers swam down, nearing the city in all of its brilliance. “KA-craw. KA-craw” the druid looks up, disturbed from his dark thoughts. A small frog enters the workshop, green eyes and pale blue skin. “KA-craw, strangers, KA-craw.” It croaks. “Strangers? What kind of strangers?” “KA-Craw, human fish, KA-craw.” “Show me.” And so it is that after the ground shook after time stopped and started again, an old druid follows a talking frog up the watchtower. A dome of air seems to surround the shining city below, protecting a mixture of Greek and Indian architecture and at least a few thousand people. No one looks up; no one sees the divers from another world. No one knows their world is about to change more dramatically than it did when the earth shook. The magician looked up. Only a few metres above him, where the world ended, and the water began, were floating human fish, just like the frog had said. They looked down at him, and he looked up at them, and both their worlds changed forever.

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Mister Grey was angry. That, on its own, was not that special. Mister Grey was always mad. And it was, once again, a Monday, his Least Favourite Day. Not that he liked any of the other days of the week, mind you. He dressed angrily and grunted and huffed in anger as he prepared and ate his breakfast. He slammed the door shut behind him and stomped to the bus station. His mood turned truly cantankerous when he noticed that his angry neighbour was already standing at the station, waiting for the bus. Not in the spirit for any conversation, Mister Grey decided to walk to work instead. On his way to work, he didn’t look up, as usual, just staring at the dark tiles of the pavement below him. Upon his arrival at the large, towering office building, he noticed that the elevator was still not repaired. So, he walked up all 360 steps spread over the 35 flights of stairs until he reached his cubicle on the 13th floor. There, he angrily looked out of the window and immediately became even more furious. Someone had placed something on the roof of that annoying, deteriorating, derelict building that always ruined his view of the city. Now, it ruined the picture even more, for the something someone had placed was colourful. Disgusting. Nothing in the city was bright. It was all just black, green, grey, and sometimes, if the architect was feeling brave, a dark, dark blue except for this- this But this, this thing. Angrily, Mister Grey opened the window and went to work. Or, well, attempted to do so anyway. But the colourful thing was growing now, and getting more and more colourful each second. And it was singing. How could he ever get any work done with those distracting flashing colours and that loud racket right there in his view?! By now, Mister Grey could see that the thing was a human, with the head of a bird. And feathers like that of the mythical peacock, but even more colourful than the stories told! He now also noticed that the flashing didn’t come from the thing itself but the movement of hundreds of people entering the - now no longer - abandoned building. Even Mister Grey felt the draw of the colourful thing and its song, regardless of how hard he tried to resist it. He ran down all 360 steps and joined the angry crowd below. Not that anger was the only emotion anyone ever felt in the city, oh no. There was also grumpy, outraged, furious and enraged. And, on special days, you could even indeed be pissed off. Mister Grey entered the building and arrived in a deserted room with a comfortable chair. The moment he sat down in it, a large table appeared, with a big sheet of white paper. Angrily, Mister Grey noticed that somebody had already doodled on it in black, but, upon closer inspection, he noticed that it was a sketch of a city. At the top of the paper, letters started to appear. Then the letters turned into words and subsequently sentenced.

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‘Make me pretty,’ the paper said. ‘Colour me. Turn me into text was written in were not at all to Mister Grey’s liking.

what you want me to be.’ The font and colours the

Next to the paper, a whole bunch of pencils appeared. But these pencils weren’t like any other pencils he had ever seen in his life. Those were all black. These were in colours he had never seen before in his life! Surprised, Mister Grey grabbed one and put it on the paper. It, like any other pencil, left behind a trail. Not a black path, like he was used to, but a yellow one. He coloured a little yellow flower. Hmm, that looked kind of nice. He�quickly�grabbed�another�pencil�and�frantically�started�colouring. Slowly, he began to forget he was angry, or that he had to return to work, or that that the stupid song was still sounding. He was too concentrated on the task at hand to notice anything.

After a long time - he had�no�idea�how�long�-�his�drawing�was�finished.�No�bit�of�the picture was grey or white anymore; everything was gorgeously colourful. Mister Grey grabbed the pencils and

the drawing, put them in his pocket, walked out of the building, and was calm and relaxed. Once outside, however, he halted in his step. The entire city was suddenly colourful as well! Happily, he walked through the place, which slowly ﬁlled with even more happy and satisﬁed people. And every time he saw something grey or hoary he just coloured it in his favourite colour with one of the pencils. And he never returned to his tedious job on the 13th floor of the dull building. Instead, he started to sell ice cream in the new city park. And Mondays? Mondays

were now his Most Favourite Days.

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by Bartooliinii The subject of Severus Snape’s ‘tragedy’ knows two opposing sides. So before I go into why I wrote this song, let me do my best to try and shed some light on both sides of the story. One side advocates Severus Snape as a proper hero. They feel that his actions after Harry Potter’s parents’ deaths make up for his mistakes, whatever his past may be. They believe in forgiveness and that the merit of our actions is not defined by the reasons why, but by the repercussions of those actions. Those who side with Severus Snape believe that life gives us a multitude of choices every day and that Snape has chosen to do what was right, every single day since Lily’s death. He chose to put his life on the line by being a double agent. He chose to protect Harry Potter and help bring down He-Who-Must-NotBe-Named. Besides, the real reason for these actions can never fully be understood without using Legilimency to enter Severus’ mind. Did he have a change of heart because Voldemort killed the woman he loved? Did that push a button inside him? Or did he feel guilt and were all his actions since then guided by trying to repent for his own mistakes? The other side has a different and more unforgiving view of Severus Snape’s character. Most of them believe that the merit of one’s actions is decided by the reasons why they’re done. The good things he did were done for the wrong reasons and therefore Snape can never be a hero. They believe he felt guilty because 40

he had lost someone that was important to himself. Not because of the full scope of what he had done; orphaning Harry and killing James and Lily. You could arguably call that a shape of narcissism, to only realize the error of one’s own ways when it hurts themselves. Keep in mind that he was a death-eater before he sought out Dumbledore’s forgiveness. Death-eaters hurt, torture, and kill people, or at least are complicit in enabling others to kill. Yet, only once he lost someone that was close to himself did he understand the hurt he and his fellows brought about. And even then, he still didn’t show signs of remorse for his own victims. No, he mourned only for his own loss. The final blow from those who oppose the heroism of Severus Snape is the statement that he’s not suitable to be a teacher. They say he’s a bully. Teachers have different teaching styles, but Snape humiliated and scared his students into following the rules, obviously taking joy in using his power to remove house points from the students he disliked the most. Now, where do I - as the writer of a lament for the debated hero - stand in this discussion? You may assume I’m 100% on the side who supports his heroism, but I have to admit that there are some things that even I can’t deny. I do believe the merit of one’s actions are in the repercussions of them, not in the reasoning why. If someone saves my life because in doing so he gets what he wants, then I will still be grateful. Since that is the foundation of my belief, I must side with those who believe Severus Snape to be a hero. Of course,

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER if it wasn’t for Lily’s death, then he would still be a death-eater performing horrible deeds. But, at the end of the day, the point is that he isn’t a death-eater anymore. His tragedy changed him enough to change his actions and, in turn, he has become someone who deserves some level of admiration in my opinion. He chose to do the hard thing. There were so many paths to take to deal with his loss. Out of an abundance of options he chose this one and therefore I will have to put myself on the side of those believing him to be a hero. However, I still think he’s a bully!

His actions in classes like physical punishments by hitting students over the head with books, bullying a 15-year-old Hermione when her teeth got jinxed with “I don’t see a difference”, and many more such actions like making sure word got out of Remus Lupin Lycanthropy made him a loathsome person to both his students and his fellow teachers. But when we’re talking purely about his actions that are tied to his tragedy, I’d like to see him as a hero of sorts. He made great sacrifices, for the wrong reasons perhaps, but sacrifices all the same. That’s why I decided; if I am going to write and record a song set in our beloved Harry Potter universe, I want to start with a lament for Severus. Of all the arcs throughout the books and films, his was the most impressive to me. I always enjoyed the darker themes in fantasy fiction, so perhaps I’m also naturally attracted to his story. I may be a Ravenclaw student, but this homage goes out to my Slytherin fellows and their head of house at the time. Now we come to the actual song. I invite you to find it over at Youtube.come/bartz-

eal or find Bart Zeal on Spotify, whichever takes your (fainting) fancy. Below is the poem which forms the lyrics of the song, so you can sing along if you like. Thanks for reading this little essay on Severus Snape. I’m sure both sides of the discussion have plenty more points to make, so come over to YouTube, find the song and leave some comments about your thoughts on the matter! Without further ado, the lyrics:

Near the end, in a land far in the North. A castle stands… Its towers grand… Witchcraft & Wizardry are taught. In this castle you'd find a man in the dungeons, dark and grey. His black cloak sweeped not far behind and they called him Severus Snape... In the dark he played his part… This master of the mind. In his heart the truth imparts paying guilt in kind. He has sworn a lasting oath and he knew what was at stake. In the light and shadows both. For Lily! Always. Expecto Patronum Now, who will mourn all o’er your grave, now there’s no more lies? You won’t hear the words of praise from the boy who had her eyes. This song is produced by Audioscape Studio, composed by Myrthe van Wijk, the lyrics written by Bart Zeal and features Rikke Linssen on violin. 41

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The List by Lauren Witholt: A Review - Eldis_ “I didn’t mean to blow the whole thing up,” she mumbled. “But he had a knife and I lost control. (...) I wouldn’t have used my powers at all, but I had my back against the wall. Literally. I tried to calm myself down but… I didn’t know how to stop it from happening again.”

ordan Hart is a natural-born Wielder. Whereas many would, quite literally, kill to obtain that sort of power, she’d give it away for free to anyone who asked. Not that that is possible, of course. After being locked up at home for many years in order not to commit accidental arson when her powers get out of control, she’s suddenly shipped off to the Academy’s headquarters in Venice to learn how to restrain the fire jumping off of her hands the moment she loses her temper. However, when an important book gets stolen and she is sent to Prague to retrieve it from a criminal mastermind posing as a professor, things get a lot more difficult. She’s offered help dealing with her gift, but the person willing to train her isn’t exactly on her side. And, now that she is finally out on her own, she slowly starts to realise that more things aren’t as they seem. Lauren Witholt’s debut novel The List is a wonderfully intriguing story. Witholt flawlessly combines action, adventure, mystery, magic, humour and romance, but even with this

broad range of genres, The List never feels distorted, inconsistent or chaotic. The hidden academic world she introduces feels tangible and lived in, with the visually described real-life setting making the story extra engaging. Both locations - Venice and Prague - ground the narrative, adding to the overall realism, even if magic (‘We don’t do magic. Wielding is a science.’) is real. The magic system is innovative and unique, a surprising and refreshing take in the overcrowded field of fantasy. Its refreshing take on the regular old ‘secret magical society’ with its moral message adds to the lore’s depth and allows the character developments to shine. As an academic myself, I highly appreciated all of the digs at scholars and long-rambling professors. The setting is truly recognisable, making for an amusing read, but don’t worry if you’re not studiously inclined. The List, with its primary focus on retrieving the stolen book and figuring out why it was taken in the first place, is accessible to all. The likeable characters drag you into the world Witholt has created with enthusiasm, wit and snark. They feel so real that you almost expect to meet them on the street. As Virginia Woolf would have said, they ‘live and are complex (...) they move hither and thither whether their [creator watches] them or not, and the world in which they live seems to us an independent world which we can visit, now that [she has] created it, by ourselves.’ Witholt manages to perfectly balance Jordan’s fiery (ha) personality, ensuring her reactions to what happens to her are realistic without making her an annoying or dislikable character. In fact, Jordan’s dry humour and witty takes on the situations she is placed in made me laugh out loud multiple times, regularly startling my cat Goose. Jordan, although she is the protagonist, is not the only one who steals the show. I am personally a huge fan of Fabrizio, who, with his love for books, regularly is an absolute Mood™. However, Jack, Dante, Will and the rest of the crew all bring their own moments of delight to the story. The dynamics between the characters feel real and the relationships between the characters - both platonic and romantic - are absolutely delightful. The friendships feel like

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either misspeak or carefully phrase their words in ways that aren’t noticeable during the first read-through, but with the knowledge of what will happen they make for an extra fun rereading experience. The general flow and rhythm of the sentences, without being obviously poetic, do help you keep reading, and during some of the later chapters, the book becomes really difficult to put down.

they have long histories, and the romantic subplot is not too heavy or distasteful. It does not overshadow the plot, instead adding a human element to the narrative. The honesty regarding the difficulty of maintaining relationships and the loving support through hard times served to round the characters out and give them more depth, and the casual gay representation, with no homophobia to be seen, was most certainly a pleasant surprise.

As far as trigger warnings go, there is not much to mention. Without making this review too spoilery, there is a reference to past sexual assault, characters are threatened and some murders do happen. None of these are described in any detail, however, so unless these are very heavy and quick triggers for you, they should not pose much of a problem.

The List is a truly unique and innovative addition to the realistic fantasy corpus. With its ±21ish-year-old protagonist and the other adult characters, its target audience is clearly the older side of the YA literature readers. I found the real world a nice change of pace The plot, though sometimes slow, never trufrom the current high fantasy trend, set in a ly gets boring. With her easy-to-read, diawholly fictional and magical environment with logue-heavy narration style, Witholt takes the intricate but sameish magic systems and token time to truly develop the characters and their home-designed world maps. Not that there is relationships without ever losing track of the anything wrong with those, I very much enjoy storyline itself. The trope of ‘character goes reading them, but a story set in ‘our world’ to fetch something and immediately finds it without any problems whatsoever’ has always offered me a fun, distinctive and different readbeen a pet peeve of mine, so the more realistic ing experience. Witholt’s sparkling characters, intriguing plot, innovative magic system and version offered in The List is quite the breath of fresh air. The pacing during the climax does accessible writing style make her debut novel suddenly and quite drastically go up, making it one you surely do not want to miss. almost - but not fully - feel hurried. The pacing The List is available over at https://laurenin that chapter feels slightly out of place comwitholt.com/ and in limited bookstores as papared to the calmer sequence of events preperback and e-book. viously, but plot-wise the uptick makes sense and it is still told in Witholt’s characteristically Use the code “QUIBBLER10” to get 10% off of wonderful way. your purchase. This code is valid from August I have read this book thrice within the past 1st, 2021 till October 1st, 2021. few months now - I usually never read a book twice within the same year, unless it’s one of the Chronicles of Narnia - and it would also 1 Virginia Woolf, “Jane Austen at Sixty,” The be amiss for me not to compliment her foreNation and the Athenaeum, December 15, shadowing. Little hints or small nods are given 1923. throughout the novel, and characters regularly 44

ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER

How to Support Your Favourite Creators (Even If You Don't Have That Much Money to Spend)

- Eldis_

We all know them, we all love them. That one artist - whether it is a musician, painter, photographer, designer, writer, YouTuber… - you adore, but nobody else seems to know about them. Or they do, but you still want more people to know about them. You stare at your screen, bookshelf, personal endless void and wonder ‘How can I support their brilliance?’ Well, fret no more, for I am here to give you some tips on how to support [insert name here], even if you don’t have that much or any money to spend to financially back them.

REE

There are many ways to support your favourite creator for free! If their content is created online, make sure to like, comment, subscribe, kudos, follow, share, retweet or whichever features the specific website the content is shared on values. Whilst algorithms are, by nature, about as clear as an iron tub filled with mud, the general rule is the more engagement, the better. More engagement means people stay on the platform longer, and people staying on the platform longer means more money. Additionally, your comments will be very much appreciated by the creator! Never worry about ‘bothering’ them by leaving positive comments. Getting compliments is any artist’s fuel! And seeing those followers & like numbers go up is also incredibly satisfying. Additionally, consider which platforms you have to advertise the content. Share it with friends, put it on your insta story, tweet about it… And share it here, in the Quibbler! Write a review, a praising rant or submit a poster as independent art! You might want to ask the creator if they want to be advertised this way or not, but the Quibbler is a great platform to shine some light on your favourite creators! If the artist in question has published some sort of book, recommend it to your local library! Most libraries will have a ‘purchase suggestion’ form hidden somewhere on their website. You will probably have to be a member of the library to fill this in, but it is very much appreciated by librarians when you do! I have given multiple purchase suggestions to my local library, and they have all been received very kindly. They purchased one of the suggestions I made and told me to remake some of the other suggestions later since COVID-19 and Brexit made it impossible for them to buy the books at this moment, but they were very open to adding them to their catalogue when once again possible! If the content you like so much is taking place in a fictional world, making fan art or writing fanfiction based on this world is usually seen as an honour by the creator as well! With the added perk that it might make people curious as to what the original content is like. Please use discretion though - if the creator signals they do not want fanart or fanfiction, don't create it. Also, only create fanfiction of fictional characters, never of real-life people unless you have their explicit & clearly expressed approval. If the creator you want to support is a YouTuber, it helps to not skip any ads YouTube sends your way when watching the videos! Clicking on the ad isn’t necessary - that doesn’t profit the YouTuber. Just letting it run its course is more than enough, and saves you on weird cookies stored in your browser. 45

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OW COST

If the content creator makes something purchasable, but you can’t just afford to impulse-buy it for yourself, put it on your birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah/another holiday wishlist! And even though you might not be able to afford it for yourself, if you’ve put a budget aside for buying someone else a birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah/another holiday present, why not pick a present from the merch store of the one you want to support, if you feel like the other person will appreciate it! Quite a lot of creators who have a Patreon will have a ‘$1’-level. If you’re able to, even though it might feel small, the support is highly appreciated!

IGH(ER) COST

And, if you can afford it, just buy the merch yourself! There is no need for a fancy excuse or reason, if you like it and can afford it, treat yourself!!!! You deserve it! See this as your sign to buy that one thing you’ve wanted for ages but didn’t feel like you could justify buying!

L;DR?

• • • • • • • • •

Like, comment, subscribe, follow, retweet: engagement is good! Please the algorithm! Share with friends and family SHARE WITH THE QUIBBLER!! Recommend your local library Create fanworks Don’t skip ads Give merch as present Patreon Buy merch for yourself

And now that I have this opportunity, let me share some content creators I think you will love, in no particular order whatsoever. If you haven’t heard of them already, I hope you will check them out!

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4amshower - Instagram Guy Kopsombut creates wonderful little super wholesome comics in an easy-onthe-eyes style, featuring many cute cats, bunnies, pigs, ducks, bears and other adorable animals who help each other, console each other and are generally just wonderfully loving and kind. There is no overarching narrative, just cute small scenes resulting in plenty of reasons to smile! There is also Everyday Smiles, a book based on the comics! Catscafecomics - Instagram Matt Tarpley has created the wonderfully adorable world of Cat’s Cafe, a cafe run by Cat and Rabbit, who pours coffee, love and friendly advice for the coffee-addicted Penguin, hard-of-hearing Fox, knife-wielding Kiwi, grumpy-faced Frog, anxious Hyena and other customers and friends. There is an overarching continuity, but you can jump in whenever without feeling like you’ve lost much. There’s also Cat’s Cafe, a book based on the comics!

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Actionposephoto - Instagram, Flickr. Do you like superheroes, Star Wars characters and Avatar; the Last Airbender? Do you like cool pictures? Then Craig McRoberts’ Instagram account is certainly the right one to follow. He has already graced the Quibbler with a cool photograph submission, and there is plenty more where that came from. The pictures look so lively and fun, are interesting, and tell a story all in themselves!

Potterbyblvnk - instagram, tumblr. You have probably already heard of her, but Blvnk makes such gorgeous blackand-white fanart of our beloved Harry Potter characters. They are stunning, filled with expression and emotion, and the occasional little scenes make me love the characters even more than I do when reading the series! I never really had any strong opinions about Draco and Astoria, but Blvnk’s art made me suddenly like them! I adore her interpretations and art style.

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Alex Isles - Youtube Alex is a tour guide in the Newcastle-upon-Tyne area (UK) and has gotten a lot more active on YouTube during these pandemic times. He uploads relatively short (around 10 minutes) videos explaining the wonderfully interesting history of the area in a pleasant voice filled with enthusiasm and passion for the ruins and monuments. He has a series on Hadrian’s Wall, Newcastle’s Castle and Bamburgh Castle, explaining Roman and medieval history in a very fun way. CJ The X - YouTube CJ is chaos personified but in a ridiculously fun way. Their video essays are about the wildest, sometimes seemingly obscure topics and even though the videos might be delivered whilst drinking wine sitting under a table, CJ is extremely good at media criticism - take it from me, someone who has a degree in maybe not media criticism, but the closely-aligned literary criticism. They are extremely well researched and presented in a style that switches drastically between ‘well-researched, academically supported points’ and ‘dissing [insert concept/character here]’. The videos are about 20-30 minutes long and span a wide range of topics, so there is sure to be at least one you like! 49

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Dr Octavia Cox - YouTube Okay, this one might be a little obscure and more for the English lit students among us. Dr Cox started her channel at the beginning of the pandemic and uses it to talk about the 1700s-1800s English literature in her wonderful calm voice. You don’t need to have any literary knowledge before watching, although it might be handy if you have read or seen the movie adaptation of the primary source she discusses. She answers various literary questions (‘Who told Lady De Bourgh that Mr Darcy and Lizzie were engaged when they weren’t?’ and clearly explains literary techniques. I especially love her videos on Pride and Prejudice.

LilyCReads -YouTube Even though I study English Lit & I read a lot, I am not at all involved with ‘BookTube’ (or Booker, or any reading-related subreddits aside from the Quib & Ravenclaw, for that matter), except for this one channel. Lily is hilariously scathing in her reviews without being too unfair or taking herself too seriously.

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Xiran Jay Zhau - YouTube You’ve probably already heard of them. They went viral with their first-ever YouTube video completely dragging Mulan (2020) through the mud from an informed POV. They also have videos complimenting and/or criticising general Asian & specific Chinese influences in Mulan (1998), the three A: TLA seasons and Over the Moon. Bonus points: the videos often feature their adorable grey cat! They’re also releasing quite a few books in the not-so-distant future! Hello Future Me - Youtube Tim Hickson makes great videos about writing, worldbuilding, mental health in popular media, LOTR and A: TLA. His videos aren’t ‘Do this and your writing will be good, but ‘consider this, since this is how XYZ usually comes to be’. It’s building general knowledge over direct straight ‘writiXYZrules’. He asks how and why does this works, which I highly appreciate. The videos analysing pre-existing media are also very good, especially his series on both of The Last of Us games and his analysis of Azula’s breakdown in the final season of A; TLA. The videos are interspersed with some fun humour, and also often feature an adorable cat! There’s also his book On Writing and Worldbuilding, based on & extending from some of his videos on his channel! 51

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Lauren Witholt - Book (The List) This Quibbler also contains a full review of The List, so I won’t bother you here too much with my enthusiastic ramblings about it. All I’m going to say is: go read it! Trust me, it’s good.

NerdSync - YouTube If you follow SCB on YouTube, you have probably heard of Scott Niswander and you have seen his editing work since he helps edit their videos. But he also has his channel, called NerdSync! The main focus of the channel is on explaining and discussing and theorising around superheroes. However, he doesn’t shy away from branching out to other things he is passionate about as well! This includes, but is not limited to, a serious analysis of the Scooby-Doo franchise, a one-hour-and-fifteen-minute-long video about Bob Ross and a video about the message of Hamilton (the musical, not the person). I have personally never read a superhero comic in my life but I have watched most of his videos, just because his enthusiasm, humour and good editing is so much fun!

Hair Care

QUIBBLER FASHION

- Eldis_

o, I have a bone to pick with all of you hair-having people. If you’re reading this and you’re bald, you’re unique and perfect, and I love you. But if you have hair? Long hair, short hair, I don’t care, please listen to me. I have seen you, at the pool or on the beach. Abuse your poor, poor wet hair by violently rubbing it dry with a towel. I have seen people joking about how disgusting it is to remove your hair from the bathroom drain. I have seen it all, and I am here to tell you to treat your hair better. Don’t want to have to call a plumber because your drain is filled with hair? Treat your hair better. Don’t want to have to clean your hairbrush every time you brush? Treat your hair better. How? Let me enlighten you. Before I do, however, let me tell you a bit of your hair. Or, well, about hair in general. All of your hair is dead matter; the only part alive is the part in your skin where it grows and pushes the hair out. Your hair exists out of three layers: the outside is the cuticula, which exists out of little overlapping ‘shields’. If these all lie neatly flat, your hair is wonderfully smooth and shiny. The layer underneath that is the cortex, which ensures the hair’s strength and resilience. The core of the hair is called the medulla, which contains the pigment determining the colour of your hair. The oils your skin produces helps your hair retain its shine as well as fighting off infections. Your hair grows in three stages: the anagen stage, during which your hair actively grows; the catagen stage, during which your hair no longer grows, but the cell activity in your hair papillae continues; and the telogen phase, during which this activity also halts. Eventually, your hair is pushed out of your skin, and the cycle starts anew. The anagen stage takes about two to four years, the catagen phase about 15-20 days and the telogen phase about 90120 days. About 98% of your hair is in the first stage, 1% in the second and 6% in the third. This cycle is repeated about 24 or 25 times during your lifetime. The characteristics of your hair are decided before you are even born. During the 16th week of pregnancy, the baby already has body hair! During the 20th week, head hair starts to arrive, as

does the pigment, which will eventually decide the child’s hair colour. This hair falls out during the first few weeks of the baby’s life. Frequently alongside the mother’s hair. During pregnancy and breastfeeding, the hormones ensure that the hairs stay in their ‘growth stage’ more extended than usual. About twelve weeks after giving birth, when the mother’s hormones are finally calming down a bit, the hair arrives in the ‘rest’ phase, at the end of which the hair is pushed out of the scalp. What then seems to be excessive hair loss is just the body catching up. So there is no need to worry! It is still wise to avoid getting a perm when pregnant. Your hair is changing during this period so that the results can be unexpected. Once you grow older, the structure of your hair changes. Pigmentation contributes to the softness and subtleness of your hair, so grey hair tends to break more easily and become rougher. This new structure is also more likely to absorb dust and smoke from the air, giving a yellowish or stained look. A chelating or clarifying shampoo can help solve this problem. Richer shampoos will help to prevent your grey hair from drying out. Your hair is a delicate thing. It’s like that one kid in class who is allergic to everything (if you are that one kid, I am sorry, that must suck). Hair can’t handle too much heat and sunshine. During long holidays or sailing trips or otherwise days where your hair is constantly underneath the burning sun, it might be wise to cover your hair with a shawl or scarf. Not just for your hair’s sake, but also because it is kind of impossible to put sunscreen on your scalp and a burnt scalp is, trust me, Not Pleasant. Your hair also isn’t a fan of salt or chlorine, so make sure you properly rinse out your hair after swimming in the sea or pool by showering with clean, sweet water. Tie your hair together during windy days to avoid knots. During winter, make sure your hair is protected against the cold wind and against the drying effects of moving from shallow temperatures outside to very high temperatures inside. Make sure the humidity in your house isn’t too low. WASHING If you, like me, have long hair, you probably know the nightmare of your hair after taking a shower, being impossibly tangled because of the way you have rubbed your shampoo into your hair. And even if you have short hair,

FASHION QUIBBLER this way of washing will make it so much easier to style it once it’s dry. Instead of gathering your hair on the top of your head; then massaging in the shampoo with your whole hand, try this: Put some shampoo on your hand. Spread it over the top of your hair whilst moving as if you are carefully gathering your hair for a low ponytail at the nape of your neck. Form claws with your hands. Press the pads of your fingers (not your nails!) to your scalp and make quick little circles for a few seconds at a time. Lift your hands off of your head, move them and repeat. Do this over the entire top of your hair and hairline. To clean the hair next to and behind your ears, make little crab hands with your hands and make the same circles. The rest of your hair will be washed through the soap, water washing down from the top of your head. When rinsing, make the same ‘ponytail gathering’-movement. For those with short hair, this same principle applies too. Just because your hair is short doesn’t mean you get to ruffle and truffle it without any consequences. Your hair, when wet, is in its most fragile state. There is no need to treat it violently.

Any hair that does get loose and gets tangled up between your fingers are you are combing through; you can stick on the wall of your shower rather than letting it stream down into the drain. Since both the wall of your bathroom and the hair itself will be wet, it will stick and not stream down. At the end of your shower, you can gather this hair by tracing ever-smaller circles on that wall, after which you can simply throw the hairs in the bin. It is much less disgusting than trying to remove hairs from your shower drain, and you run less of a risk of the hairs getting down the drain and causing it to be clogged. Do not over-wash your hair. The oils produced by your skin are suitable for your hair, and washing your hair too often removes the nutrition the oils bring. There is information available online about how to ‘train’ your hair, so you need to wash it less often. Additionally, if possible, choose a shampoo that fits the type of hair you have. Do you know those labels on the bottles saying ‘for dry hair,’ etc.? Yeah, those aren’t complete nonsense.

Dry hair feels dry (no shit, sherlock), looks dull and keeps getting tangled. It is difficult to comb or brush. It’s usualIf you use conditioner, gather all of ly pretty thick at the roots but quickly your hair to one side. Put your congets thinner towards the tips. There ditioner in the palm of your hand, are usually a lot of split ends. It can be and make a very loose fist around the caused by washing your hair too much accumulated hair. Move the fist down, or using too much heat on your hair. spreading the conditioner as you go. Improper use of hair dye or bleach can Repeat this a couple of times to ensure also result in dry hair. You can counall of the conditioners has been spread teract this by using a shampoo that over your hair. Then, using your hands, feeds your hair and use a conditioner carefully comb that strengthens through your it. For this hair Please note that, by me being white, most type, it is essenhair. Let it soak in for a bit (Proof the advice in this article that I got from tial to leave it tip: also don't to air-dry rather personal experience is for caucasian or know what to caucasian-like hair. Do you have tips, tricks than using a do when you're hairdryer. and advice for other hairstyles? We would waiting till you love to hear and learn from you! Subcan rinse out Oily hair, aside your conditionfrom being oily, mit your article over at the link in the /r/ er? Do standing TheQuibbler sidebar so we can feature your looks very limp. up push-ups It can be caused excellent knowledge in our next edition! against the by excessive wall of your brushing, the bathroom! Be careful you don't slip, constant touching of your hair or the though.) Rinse out by again carefully presence of a lot of saturated fats in moving your relaxed fist down, and, if your diet. A mild, non-aggressive shamnecessary, repeat these steps by gathpoo is the solution. A light perm can ering your hair to the other side. also help since that raises the hair at the roots and, therefore, lessens your scalp’s oil production. Eating less fat and fewer dairy products can help as well. 55

QUIBBLER FASHION Combined hair is fat and thick at the roots but thin and dry at the ends. It can happen when you dye, perm or bleach your hair, or when your hair gets too warm - for example, if you live in a sunny area or frequently use heat-based hairstyling products. Use mild shampoos and conditioners, don’t over-use products intended for either dry or oily hair. Additionally, it might sometimes help to change which shampoo you use. After a while, your hair can build some sort of resistance against your regularly-used shampoo, making it less effective. When in doubt, always use the mildest shampoo possible. Don’t use laundry detergent, soap or other non-shampoo products! It might feel cheap and frugal, but they have a fundamental Ph that ruins your hair’s natural Ph balance. And don’t throw away shampoo that doesn’t lather or doesn’t create much foam! The amount of froth you see when you wash your hair has nothing to do with how effective the shampoo is. The foam is just something the manufacturer adds to your shampooing experience. Try not to wash your hair whilst bathing: dirty bathing water isn’t appropriate for cleaning your hair, and the stagnation of the water makes it difficult to rinse properly. DRYING Drying your hair, too, is a most delicate affair. There is no need to throw a towel over your hair and then just violently rub it to catch the water. After turning off your shower, remove all excess water by gathering your hair into a low ponytail again (sorry guys, it’s just the quickest and most effective way of collecting your hair. With one hand, hold the hair together. With your other, carefully push the water out by making an ‘okay’ sign with your pointer finger and thumb around your hair and softly squeezing as you pull down. By using your other hand to hold your hair together, the stress this causes will not be suffered at the roots of your hair, minimising hair loss. Try to avoid drying your hair with a hairdryer. The heat will damage your hair. However, using a dryer at a proper distance, or using a cold dryer, can be better if your hair naturally dries very slowly. If your hair retains water for too long, it's not good either. If you use a dryer, then make sure you use cold air. Make sure to clean the filters of your hairdryer as well regularly. Dry section by section: separate your hair into two main parts, and each time take a little bit 56

of hair from one piece to dry completely. Use your hairbrush to hold your hair at a straight angle (without pulling too much). You can turn your brush down at the tips to create a little volume. Hold the dryer downwards from the roots. This will flatten your cuticula and give your hair more shine. If you have curls, angle your hairdryer up rather than down. You can also use a diffuser which allows you to place your hair on the mouth of the dryer. To maximise your beautiful curls, you can use your hands to ‘knead’ your hair up whilst drying. However, air-drying your hair is still an underrated option. I have pretty long hair, so airdrying can be a bit annoying since the back of everything I wear just becomes a soaked mess, and I can’t always wear a towel as a cape and run around the house like a superhero. I usually french-braid my hair. Then, loop the end of my braid through my hair at the top of my braid. This isn't a permanent solution though, since it makes the hair dry slower and its not good for your hair to retain moisture for too long. I highly recommend starting your air-dry by making a towel hat for any hair that’s past shoulder-length. And not one of those mad turny-twisty ones that pull your hair to all sides! No. A simple, 4-step towel-hat suffices. Step 1: Get ready for some heavy-metal headbanging and flip your head and hair forward. Step 2: Place a towel with the long side to the nape of your neck, the towel ‘falling’ over your hair, covering it. Step 3: Align the rest of the long side (the one pressed to the nape of your neck) with your hairline till it gets to the front of your hair. Cross the two ends tightly (one end over the other, creating a sort of upside-down V). Step 4: Stand back upright, so the towel folds back, and voilá! This way, there's only one "turn" your hair has to suffer through: the fold back. This is not a very tight turn, yet the towel is very safe and secure and will stay on your head. If you shower in the evenings, place a dry towel over your pillow, so your pillow does not become soaked.

FASHION QUIBBLER BRUSHING Don’t try to brush your hair too much when it is wet. If you use the shampooing technique, you probably won’t need to brush that much after showering since it’s a great way to avoid tangled hair. However, I would love to have Tangled hair, as in, the hair Rapunzel has at the Disney movie. As far as brushing when your hair is dry goes, though, I can give you some more advice. Make sure you regularly clean your brush and, if you use one, comb. Not just ‘clean’ as in, remove all the hairs stuck in them, and ‘clean’ as in, actually using water and soap. Brushes made from natural fibres have to dry with their fibre side facing down. It is wiser to use a brush with the bristles further removed from each other. You might feel like you need to brush your hair longer, but it is easier for your hair since it causes less stress when your brush encounters a knot. I am a massive fan of the AirMotion brush (not sponsored). It takes a while to get used to brushing your hair with this particular brush since it at first, if you’re used to other brushes, it feels like nothing is happening. But after a week or so of use, I couldn’t stand my old brush anymore. And this brush is easy to clean, which also helps. The colours they are available in are super ugly (why always black?!), but it lasts you literal years once you buy one. Or, well, they should. The first brush I had did last me about three years, if I recall correctly, the one I bought as a replacement broke within a month. But I superglued the handle back to the brush itself, and now I have been happily using it for at least a year. If you have a lot of hair or very thick hair, brush your hair in layers. Grab all of your hair, hold it horizontally (so at a 90 degree-ish angle away from your head) and slowly drop little bits and pieces of hair from the bulk in your hand, brushing the scraps that fall. This way, you don’t abuse your hair by trying to skim through that one knot or tangle, and brushing your hair in layers goes a whole lot faster!

Which hairstyle suits you best?? Square face: a broad forehead, square jawline. If you’ve got a square face, make sure your haircut has a lot of layers. Curls can help create some softness to your face. Make sure you part your hair to the right or left, never in the middle. If you have bangs, comb them away from your face. Avoid geometrical hairdos like long bob-lines and heavy lifts are fundamental. Round face: distance between chin and forehead is about the same as the distance between cheekbones. If your face is round, some short bangs might look nice on you. Try to avoid curls or thick, full hair which is pulled away from your face. Oval face: broad cheekbones, small pointy chin and small forehead. Lucky you. You can do whatever the heck you want. Long face: High forehead, long chin. If your face is long, choose a bob or a more ‘boyish’ (whatever that may mean) hairdo. Short layers also help break the length of your face, since it creates horizontal layers. Curls will also look great on you! Try to avoid long straight-cut hairdos. Source Wadeson, Jacki. Hairstyles, Braiding & Haircare. London: Lorenz Books, 2000.

Now, I am happy to report that this bone has been picked. And if you ever treat your hair unnecessarily roughly ever again, I will come back to haunt you after I am dead. And don’t think dying before I will avoid that fate; I will find a way to haunt a ghost. Don’t try me. Take proper care of your hair.

FASHION QUIBBLER

By XanCanStand

The world overflows with different people from different places and cultures, and each is worth considering and celebrating. Let us be united in an appreciative toast to the diverse and varied qualities that make humanity great, specifically here with a glimpse of some of the beautiful and functional attire worn around the globe. Cheers!

QUIBBLER FASHION

In the area of the Indian Subcontinent, there is a traditional dress worn that is now well known throughout the world. The sari, or saree, is a stunning look at formal occasions and in everyday use. The word “sari” means “strip of cloth” in Sanskrit, which is what it is. A sari is one single piece of unstitched fabric, as short as four meters and up to the more typical nine meters long, made of cotton or silk or synthetic fibers and with a heavier hem and endpiece (called a pallu) which help the piece to drape properly when wrapped. Because of this, the sari needs no safety pins to be kept in place. Certainly one could use them as extra security, but keep in mind that too many metal fasteners may hinder the sari’s natural flow. And though the British felt differently some time ago, a sari is a complete outfit and does not require a blouse or petticoat to be worn with it. As for how to wrap a sari, this article won’t begin to pick a style to describe. It is said there are more than a hundred different ways to wrap a sari. But the sari is not an overly complicated ordeal to wear, and with practice can be incorporated into day-today wear with the same ease as tying one’s shoes. (Maybe start with the Nivi drape?) At home in warm climates, this dress keeps cool in hot weather but also warm when it is cold out. The sari is very versatile, and also available to everyone. While it currently has a mostly female user base, the sari is a unisex garment. Saris are first mentioned in 3,000 B.C. in the Rig Veda, a Hindu book of hymns. It is attire with a long past, one of culture and tradition and gorgeous vibrant color, suitable in the streets of Bangalore as well as on the runways of fashion shows.

FASHION QUIBBLER

In German-speaking countries and regions, there are traditional garments known as Tracht. “Tracht” simply means clothing, directly translated as “what is carried or worn”. The most well-known Tracht would be lederhosen (short leather breeches) for men and dirndls (bodice, skirt, blouse, and apron) for women, though there are a lot of region-specific variations of the fashion. In Bavaria they have six different styles alone: Berchtesgadener Tracht, Chiemgauer Tracht, Isarwinkler Tracht, Inntaler Tracht, Miesbacher Tracht and Werdenfelser Tracht. The Black Forest has the Bollenhut, a distinctive widebrimmed hat with red pompoms. Northern Germany has Friesische Tracht, which they decorate with beads and embroidery. Each variety is beautiful to behold and contemplate. Tracht got its start at the end of the 15th century in rural Alpine areas and was worn for hard physical work since it’s more durable than a fabric garment. Traditionally lederhosen is hand made of tanned deer hide which makes them comfortable but very durable. All styles would usually be equipped with two side pockets, one hip pocket, one knife pocket, and a codpiece. Haferlschuh shoes complete the ensemble. Dirndls worn in everyday use are much the same quality, made from grey or coloured linen with leather bodice and trim. And there are also more formal versions intended for special occasions. Today, they are mostly worn for leisure and as costumes at Oktoberfest. It is a folk dress which represents pride and hard work and community bonds.

QUIBBLER FASHION

In the Scottish Highlands is one of the most famous folk costumes, the kilt. It is a knee-length skirt with pleats at the back, made of woollen cloth in a tartan pattern, originating as the traditional dress of Gaelic men. Tartan is a pattern made up of vertical and horizontal stripes. Like the sari, this seemingly simple design has hundreds of different combinations of the colored stripes and base colours. Today there are nearly 3000 types of tartan available. And many of them are rooted deep in Scottish history, because each of the disparate clans had a tartan of their own to represent themselves with. The first form of this outfit known to us is from the 16th century: the great kilt, a full-length garment whose upper half could be worn as a cloak. The smaller kilt we know today is essentially just the bottom half of the great kilt, and it emerged in the 18th century. Its inventor was an ironmaster named Thomas Rawlinson. Rawlinson’s workers all wore the great kilt but they were unwieldy and ill-suited for the hot work indoors. His altered kilt was adopted by clansmen in the smelting, charcoal, and logging industries, and from there throughout the Highlands. Tartan (and much more Scottish heritage) was nearly lost to history. After The Battle of Culloden in 1746, when Bonnie Prince Charlie of the House of Stuarts tried to lay claim to the throne and was defeated, tartan was banned by the English Crown. The Dress Act in 1746 made it a criminal offence to wear tartan. It also classified bagpipes as weapons of war (obviously).

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The Act was repealed in 1782 but by that time many weavers who knew the older patterns from before the Battle were dead or growing old and Highlanders had long ago stopped wearing it. But finally, in 1822, the Great Tartan Revival began. Ironically, this was due to King George IV, the new King of Great Britain. He was invited to Scotland by the famed novelist Sir Walter Scott, who put on a tartan display for the King’s visit. The British King enjoyed the display and encouraged the nobles of Scotland to wear their tartan to official functions. Thus it returned into fashion once more. Today the kilt lives on, often worn on formal occasions and sporting events, and while underwear is said to be optional with the kilt, the Scottish Tartans Authority says to use common sense in those circumstances.

QUIBBLER MAGICAL PLANTS AND CREATURES

Corbin Hediadar, Order of Merlin, 3rd Class, and Ash the Wood Nymph have had many adventures in their career as Magical Creature Field Research Agents. They have brought to light several creatures and stopped horrendous acts of illegal activities concerning magical creatures. But life often throws in a few bludgers to mix things up. No one expected to find a nest of writhing snakes in the middle of London in early summer. It was in the boiler room of a Muggle office building. It just so happened that Corbin was visiting his brother-in-law, Greg Thompson, that day and heard the commotion as they returned from lunch. Curious, Corbin went to see what was so wrong. He took one look at the snakes and sealed off the area, convincing the Muggles he worked in Pest Control and would handle the situation. Once everyone was away, Corbin and Greg worked together to cut off the escape of the snakes. “What tipped me off was the fact that they were in the boiler room, the hottest room in the building, but were in a puddle of water,” said Corbin. “It didn’t seem natural to me, but as these were the first sightings of such a creature that I was aware of, I knew I had to be careful. Greg had understood and knew of wizarding kind for about five years at that point, and has helped me care for infant creatures in my conservatory every chance he gets. I gathered up what looked like seven hatchlings and ten eggs, placed them in my bag in a specially enchanted pocket made for just this kind of situation. I left quickly, but since I had been seen and noticed by many Muggles, I couldn’t apparate as I wanted. I had to calmly walk out of the building in front of everyone and find a safe place so that they wouldn’t suspect anything. I went down a dark ally as if to drop the snakes off there before going to my conservatory to inspect what I had found.” Once there, he gently pulled out his bundle. From how wet everything was, he assumed it came from the snakes, but there were more than before. Where there had been ten eggs before, now there were only five, and the number of hatchlings went from seven to twelve. Excitement went through Corbin, as one of the snakes seemed to have grown a second head! He immediately called in an expert on infant creatures to come to look at his find. Ms. Chouko Arakawa arrived shortly after, her own excitement evident on her face. “The eggs appeared to BE ovals or bubbles of water, clear and shimmering though we didn’t see anything inside of it,” she explained. “But they were hard as a rock. Watching one hatch revealed that the shell had a light-bending property to keep the little creatures safe from predators. The inside of the shell was white. The infant snakes spill out water when they hatch, explaining the puddle they were found in. I had brought with me some Orochi hatchlings, and it was nearly the same for them, except the eggs appeared to take on the color of the water around them and determined the color of the scales. These stayed a kind of mossy green or dark brown. Corbin decided to call them Hydras after we contacted the Greecian Ministry.”

MAGICAL PLANTS AND CREATURES QUIBBLER

QUIBBLER MAGICAL PLANTS AND CREATURES

According to the Greecian Minister, there were ancient reports of a similar creature and that the Hydra was what Muggles called the water dragon. Arakawa said that it was the same for the Orochi, but that neither were actual dragons, but snakes that were highly venomous. Another difference between the two appears to be that Orochi gain heads as they grow, stopping at eight by the time of adulthood. Hydras only gain heads if the original head is severed. “Or so it appeared,” said Corbin, chuckling. “If nicked between the head and around the twentieth vertebrae, a second head can grow. It is only the original birth-head that is venomous on a hydra, and if it is sadly removed, the hydra will no longer be venomous. But it must have at least one other head in order to survive. Hatchlings are able to grow heads almost instantly, but adults take a few minutes or even a few days. They grow rather large but are very friendly if raised in a proper environment. If I had not found them, they would have been wild beasts and could have caused a great deal of havoc. Like the story of Hercules, they would live in caves and attack anyone that came too close to their nests.” Hydra and Orochi are classified as XXX Beasts, though they would have been classified as XX Beasts if not for the venom or possibility of becoming feral if left out in the wild. If found outside of a home or caretaker’s care, call in the Ministry Officials for proper removal. But special other news came from this meeting. As it turned out, from their time together in Japan and protecting the little Tengu hatchling, Chouko and Corbin had been dating long-distance, and Chouko had put in for a transfer to the British Ministry after Corbin proposed to her! There is no known date as of yet, but the news was so unexpected after not hearing of Chouko for some time, that we at the Quibbler couldn’t help but be excited for the happy couple!

QUIBBLER NEWS AND FEATURES

Why Do The Pure-Bloods Hate The Muggles In The First Place? by Minute-Egg

Well, the tussle between the muggles (no-majs for the Americans) and the Wizarding community has been on for centuries. However, it was dealt with exceptionally violently in the past with the rise of Voldemort and the notorious Grindelwald. People were killed left, right and centre, fuelled by the hatred they and their followers carried. But how did this hatred ignite in the first place? The pure-blood witches and wizards feared that their lineages would wipe out. Like in the muggle world, when people from Europe came to the Americas and wiped out millions of the natives, the pure-bloods feared their demise. However, is this the only reason? As we all have seen and know, an average magic practiser is much more potent than an average no-Maj. It meant that the main reason for the hatred couldn’t have been fear of their demise. The main reason, as seen everywhere, is the human nature of exclusivity. People form communities to feel the same and very hesitantly want to include the people from outside. It leads to people thinking that they are better than others. But when this bubble is broken by an outsider doing the community’s job better than the people in it, the people in the community get very jealous and angry. It leads to the people being motivated to remove all the other people from existence to thrive. This is a very non-feasible and dangerous attitude towards anything. So, in the current era where all people co-exist peacefully, is it essential to try and be exclusive? Or is it the only peaceful way to live and prosper? Well, times will say for themselves, until then, who knows? 68

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How to Be Around People Again

ife is opening back up once more as the world awakens and warm summer days blossom for some of us. It’s time to get back out there and return to normal. Y’know, the old normal. Outside our houses. Where other people are. You are going to need to be around other people: old friends, co-workers, strangers. But fear not! They are also readjusting to this transition, so you are all in the same boat! And if you follow these simple instructions, soon you’ll be the captain of that socially awkward boat or something. Also, being vaccinated is an essential part of this, I probably should have led with that. To begin: First Impressions

When coming face-to-face with someone else, it’s important to greet them like a human being. Adopt a friendly tone, and also a friendly volume. Don’t yell as though there’s a piece of fabric covering your mouth. But don’t whisper or trail off either. Practice your greetings in the mirror before going out. But not the mirror in the bathroom; the acoustics are terrible in there and won’t give you a good sense of how you should speak, conversations won’t be so loud and echo-y when you’re outside or in an office or wherever. And be sure to do that thing . . . with your face? Where you happily show your teeth. Y’know the thing I mean? It’s a good opener. Breathe In, Breathe Out Have you noticed the tension out there? The frustration and the entitlement? And is any of that bad energy swelling up inside of you? Things have gotten a bit warped in 2020. It’s as though everyone’s sphere of focus has shrunk over the last 15 months to hover just a quarter-inch above our skin. After all, we’ve only

by XanCanStand

had to deal with our wants and needs while we’ve been removed from society. Everything else has been a distraction, background noise by background players, nothing we had to get involved with. But you’re involved with it now and you have to try to get used to saving some of your emotional bandwidth for things that aren’t part of your immediate concerns. You know the universe doesn’t revolve around you. You now need to reckon with the fact that your day doesn’t revolve around you either, not every part of it. Because you’ll be spending your days with other people and people are living creatures with an agency, not actors following your script for them. So bear with the connections and collisions in your expanding life patiently. And joyfully! These interactions with others will be new and unexpected compared to the boredom that was dogging your internment. Your script pales in comparison to real life. Embrace the chaos of collaboration! And Then . . . Any Other S u g g e s t i o n s?

Like, I’m all ears, do you have any other tips for how to be around people again? Just, in line for a bagel or at a birthday party, etc. and not want to go back to bed after it’s all over? ‘Cause I’d love to hear them, I’ll try anything at this point. I’m tired of napping and I dunno what to do. It turns out I can only come up with so many ideas (only so many interests, only so many activities . . .) on my own before I run empty, and need to be refilled and refreshed by other perspectives, by other people. It’s as though we can’t be alone and be complete. As though we need each other. Perhaps not to survive, but to strive towards being our best selves. It’s good to be back, we’ve missed you. 69

QUIBBLER NEWS AND FEATURES

by Jumatsuga 70

Layout by 7ustine

SPORTS QUIBBLER

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The Best Wizarding Summer Destinations

by Calleva_Rocks

Hello, all! As the summer grows nearer and the days grow longer, I felt as though it was time to talk about one of my favorite topics: premier summer destinations! As witches and wizards, we can have fun in places that, to the Muggle eye, appear to be deserted. With that being said, here are four of my all-time favorite summer destinations for wizards. 1. The Quidditch World Cup… With or Without the Weasleys For all of you Quidditch fans out there, this is definitely a premiere wizarding destination. Whether you worship a team like the Chudley Cannons, or a team that is actually good (such as the Holyhead Harpies) the Quidditch World Cup makes for a vacation that will provide you with happy memories to last a lifetime. While some seats are more expensive than others, 95 percent of witches and wizards agree that their money was well spent after attending a world cup event. So gather your friends and get ready to meet new people from all over the Wizarding world! Maybe, you’ll be lucky enough to make a new friend for life! 2. The Fake Hogwarts in Poland If you want to see a Muggle-infused replica of Hogwarts, book yourself and some friends tickets to visit the College of Wizardry at Czocha Castle in Poland. Inside, you will find Muggles running

around and pretending to be witches and wizards (how’s that for a self-esteem boost?). While tickets are pricey, it’s worthwhile to get the chance to compare this castle to Hogwarts… and bring back some souvenirs for all of your friends!

3. Diagon Alley… For Fun, Not School Supplies I know this seems basic, but how many of you have recently taken a stroll in Diagon Alley just for fun? I know that I’d like to go to pick up some new color changing quills, eat some Lavender ice cream, and admire the new brooms that are in stock. 4. The Harry Potter World Park in Orlando, Florida If you couldn’t already tell from the fake Hogwarts in Poland, Muggles are pretty obsessed with magic folk. If you want to go overseas, consider taking a trip to Florida, specifically Orlando, Florida. There, you can purchase tickets to get into Universal Studios, where, among other things, there is a whole Harry Potter theme park for Muggles to enjoy. Drink some butterbeer and enjoy some roller coasters while feeling just a little bit creeped out by how this park resembles some favorite spots in wizarding London. Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, but I hope it gives you a good starting point to plan a fun, relaxing, wizardry vacation this summer. Happy travels!

QUIBBLER TRAVEL

For a thousand years, the Rod of Asklepios was thought a myth by the ancient Greeks. Indeed, depictions of it inside temples, tablets, and vases were simply regarded as representations of the fabled staff. As a student of No-Maj history myself, and an avid reader, I had gone to the isle of Crete (Kriti) following reports by a friend regarding a dig site dating about the 3rd Century CE.

At that point, it was already 5 in the afternoon, and many of the volunteers were vacating the site. However, I had begun to piece together clues for what seemed to be a central object inside the temple: the same rod of the god Asklepios himself, fabled to have healing properties. It was claimed to be a cure for any illness. Furthermore, it can even bring those who had died back to the world of the living.

Arriving at the small island was no trouble whatsoever as I landed near Heraklion (Iraklion), in the outskirts of the village of Dafnes. I remember how much I missed the smell of the Aegean as it mixes with the Mediterranean. I pulled out my rustic Greek and went for a small meal and phoned my friend, Paolo from Portugal, who had been staying in the mainland going on almost twenty years. He and his partner Alessandro were firmly settled in and so happened to have been passing through Crete when they overheard possible findings which could be of interest to such an illustrious institution. Fortunately for me,

Whilst Paolo and Alessandro dug elsewhere, I took my tools and began to do the same. Slowly, the sunset before I even came to the realisation. In the tent, I could hear people talking and drinking when under the light of my wand I found what appeared to be a trapdoor that I pulled under the lightmazement there were stone steps which led deeper down. With a wand in hand, I descended and found myself inside a rather large structure. There were columns, though bare. Just as bare were the walls at first until I began to walk. As if projected onto the white marble, various mythological figures started to

they knew the researcher at the archaeology department of the Hellenic Mediterranean University, which granted us entrance into the site. The site itself was roughly ten miles from Dafnes, near Gorgolainis. It was indeed well cordoned off with a gate and everything. We arrived in our small vehicle and made our way into the main tent. Already they had dug up artefacts dating to around the assumed period, roughly

around the collapse of the city of Knossos. One of the strangest things was that I had started to see the remnants of magical inscriptions, which appeared to be alchemical formulæ of sorts. We were introduced to the director and given a tour of the site. They seemed to have found a temple of sorts, as evidenced by the structure and the frescoes all around.

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appear, and these were familiar to me. I could identify the Titanes, Gigantes and the Olympians themselves. I was simply too engrossed in it all that I simply continued to walk along the length of what was now clear as part of the structure above ground. I went in farther and farther and came across inscriptions on the wall, indicating that the temple was dedicated to Hermes himself. Little by little, I noticed ritual tools here and there, as well as sites where devotees of the god had previously burned candles. I began to notice that the light of my wand was no longer needed, for there was a golden hue coming from ahead, and it being night, it seemed odd to me that there should be sunlight pouring in through some opening in the ceiling. A feeling crept up my spine as I heard what I thought to be music; The sound of a lyre and perhaps even an aulos. Nearer and nearer I got when there was no denying it any longer. I entered a chamber with even taller walls which simply left me breathless. On every wall were bas reliefs of Hermes in all of his divine glory. The scent of myrrh and the sweetest ambrosia hung in the air like a most intoxicating fog. Before me, I saw what seemed to be apparitions

the director and made our way to the mainland the following day. I will not deny that this experience has challenged everything I thought I knew to be true in the cosmos. It could’ve been the god himself or more plausibly powerful priests and even magic users. I have attached copies of the tablets found at the site explaining more on the subject, though they detail mundane tasks performed by the clergy. I hope this finds you well.

- By veganjarl

of individuals in tunics dancing around a central structure, some obelisk. They turned towards me and addressed me in ancient Greece; Even weirder was that I found myself replying. “Are you worthy of the gift?” They inquired. “I am not certain,” I replied. They laughed and came closer to me. I felt their heat as though they were mortal beings. “You are. You are.” They laughed louder, and before I could say another word, they had vanished. I approached the obelisk, and upon closer inspection, I saw a gold orb that I knew instinctively to press.

“Your soul has been weighed, mortal!” a voice emerged from all around me. “To receive my gift means never to use it for your benefit. Swear it!” The voice said. “I swear it,” I replied. The obelisk turned into a long staff with a single serpent entwined around it through what appeared to be transfiguration. A bright flash of light filled the whole room, and in the blink of an eye, I was outside the excavation site, only a few minutes after I had left. The rod itself turned translucent in my hand, so I could carry it once my friends were ready to go. We thanked

Illustration and layout by 7ustine

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QUIBBLER HOROSCOPES

HOGWARTS HORror-SCOPES Madam Starflash Sees what (mis)fortunes will befall you this season!

CAPRICORN THE THESTRAL

TAURUS THE WEREWOLF

VIRGO THE UNICORN

(DEC. 22ND — JAN. 19TH)

(APRIL 20TH — MAY 20TH)

(AUGUST 23RD — SEPT. 22ND)

The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person But, you know they're lying If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again

You will never find true happiness What you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep

All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you Expect a big surprise today When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick

AQUARIUS THE KELPIE

GEMINI THE VEELA (MAY 21ST — JUNE 20TH)

(JAN. 20TH — FEB. 18TH) There's travel in your future When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day

PISCES THE MERMAN

Your birthday party will be ruined Once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest

CANCER THE FIRECRAB (JUNE 21ST — JULY 22ND)

(FEB.19TH — MARCH 20TH) Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus You're the true Lord of the dance No matter what those idiots at work say

The position of Jupiter says that You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test

LEO THE SPHINX

ARIES THE HIPPOGRIFF

(JULY 23RD — AUGUST 22ND)

(MARCH 21ST — APRIL19TH) The look on your face will be priceless When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

LIBRA THE DRAGON (SEPT. 23RD — OCT. 22ND) A big promotion is just around The corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine Remember that when your appendix bursts next week

SCORPIO THE VAMPIRE (OCT. 23RD — NOV. 21ST) Get ready for an Unexpected trip When you fall screaming from an open window Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

SAGITTARIUS THE CENTAUR

Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt (NOV. 22ND — DEC. 21ST) And staple it to your bosses face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding All your friends are laughing behind your back Then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry quik (kill them) Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den

Credit: Weird Al Yankovic, “Your Horoscope For Today”

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LOST & FOUND

Missing! Elder Wand - Last seen with Harry Potter (though that was a fake) Just like how the Voldemort he fought was a very skilled polyjuice potion death eater. Anyway, please send any info you have about the Elder Wand to 7 Shady Lane -Totally Not Voldemort ----------------------------------------Is anyone missing a massive black dog? I keep seeing it around town in Howden, usually behind the Minster. It keeps vanishing when I approach it but I'm seeing it everyday now and dreaming about it at night. Please come get your dog. ----------------------------------------REWARD Can't seem to find my pet Erumpent Answers to "Sparky" All leads are a help Aindreas Docherty Kintaline Farm, Benderloch ----------------------------------------L N S A H O O O N E S W Y L T P would be appreciated

COMMUNITY EVENTS

Kråkriksdag Slieve Muck Newry, No. Ireland August 8th at Dusk ----------------------------------------Quidditch World Cup Watch Party Upstairs in The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade Start: July 22nd at 3PM End: ?????? ----------------------------------------CALLING ALL HOGWARTS STUDENTS Summer's End Bash August 31st at 6PM Meet at Florean Fortescue's -----------------------------------------

The Ministry of Magic’s Department of Magical Games and Sports is pleased to announce the first annual Multi-Magical Games Tournament. The event will be held on Saturday, July 31. To receive more information about the event and to be updated with any changes, please subscribe here.

BUSINESS/OFFERS

Eeylops Owl Emporium is looking for interns during this summer break. Send your CV and letter of motivation addressed to W. H. Lewo. Must not be allergic. There is no Frigate like a Book Stubb Publishers Tinworth, Cornwall --------------------------------------The Hogsmeade Frog Choir will hold open auditions on the 3rd of August 2021, starting at 13.00. Gather outside of Scrivenschafts, bring your own frog. Every vocal range welcome, sopranos preferred. ----------------------------------------"‫يتلا تاعرجلا لضفأ انيدل‬ ‫لاملا اهيرتشي نأ نكمي‬ ‫راسكلا تزع‬ ‫يملسلا ةداج‬ ‫قشمد‬ -------------------------------------• Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment The Very Best Purveyor Of: - Apparati - Doodads - Gizmos - Thingamajigs - Thingummies - Whatchamacallits - Paraphernalia - Bells and Whistles - Miscellany - Etc. Stop By Today! ----------------------------------------Mad Margaret's Mercantile Runners End, Holme-on-Spalding-Moor We Can't Stop Slashing These Prices

----------------------------------------The Coffin House 11 Knockturn Alley Death is a Door Boggart and more in attic. Help Needed. Contact Murgle Flamebarrow for more. Price on arrival. Needs to be done quickly.

Homemade Wands Nineteen Galleons Each Cassia Villin Bury St Edmunds ----------------------------------------Phoenix Egg Exceedingly Rare Worth its Weight in Gold Owl M. Fletcher at the Leaky Cauldron

FOR SALE

REAL ESTATE

HELP WANTED

M. T. Bowdler presents. . . The Quell Quotes Quill The perfect tool for any prudent student! Dictate letters home to worrisome parents and the Quell Quotes Quill will paraphrase any details that might possibly be considered objectionable! Never get reprimanded again! The Quell Quotes Quill can turn even the most mortifying schoolyard antics into casual, banal banter that even grandmothers could read! Is it effective? (Cen)Sure is!™ --------------------------------------Complete Chocolate Frog Card Set 150 Galleons OBRO Rafferty Sallow Bishop's Offley --------------------------------------FOR SALE- 1 set of Weasely's Wizard Wheezes jokes on you beginner set. Not out of date. Contains ton-tongue toffee, nosebleed nougat, puking pastilles, fainting fancies, fever fudge and 2 love potions. 10 galleons for the lot. Contact Skylar Hawthorn for more info. ----------------------------------------Solid Gold Cup Previously Owned By Helga Hufflepuff Slight Fang Damage Fair Condition -----------------------------------------

Arch Edifice 1200 sq ft Lambfell Moar, Isle of Man 6500 Galleons OBO ----------------------------------------Ty'n-yr-Eithin Round Cairn Lledrod, Ceredigion 18 Pristine Acres 9800 Galleons Owl Offers to Lowri Beddoe ----------------------------------------Gawthorpe Hall Padiham, Burnley 37000 Galleons Seek Bertie Birdwhistle Serious Offers Only PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT Be on the Lookout for Counterfeit Floo Powder Which could Send you to Siberia Or Blow up your Entire Fireplace Identify by a Gritty and Lumpy Texture Department of Magical Transportation ----------------------------------------DO NOT HAVE YOUR BROOM REPAIRED AT THE REPAIRMAGE IN GODRIC'S HALLOW!! I had them repair some broken twigs and the next time I went out flying the entire broom fell apart! This isnt the only negative encounter I've had with them, have your broom repaired at the shop in Diagon Alley instead! They're cheaper and deliver much better service.

QUIBBLER AUROR LOGS

LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORTS MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT PATROL: ◊ 4/4/21 5:45 PM - Two underage youths apprehended behind a Taco Bell attempting to transfigure a chalupa supreme into real food. ◊ 4/17/21 7:20 PM - Witch arrested on the corner of Sesame St. for selling counterfit virility potions. Customers are not believed to be in danger as the potions only contained tobasco sauce and wishful thinking. DEPARTMENT FOR THE REGULATION AND CONTROL OF MAGICAL CREATURES: ◊ 4/1/21 6:45 AM - Mage apprehended after managing to smuggle a strange, hairy beast past customs. Experts later identified the beast as

my mother in law. HA CHA CHA CHA! DEPARTMENT OF INTOXICATING SUBSTANCES ◊ 5/9/21 9:17 PM - Report of a wizard making peanut butter so delicious that people would and have murdered for it. Investigation is ongoing. ◊ 5/15/21 4:02 AM - Bootleg fire whiskey seized from an unauthorized home distillery. The alcohol was disposed of on site. IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE ◊ 6/4/21 2:33 PM - Wizard arrested for performing illegal charms on a goat. AGAIN.

◊ 6/19/21 10:12 AM - Three wizards were caught attempting to cast a flying charm on a muggle vacuum. When questioned, the ring leader stated "Trust me, this will make Quidditch hilarious." Citations were issued. DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES ◊ klsdfjlsdfjsjflsdfjlsadfjskjdflsjflsahgjghoieoieuoiweuuroewiovsgnvkshsdjfhsdfskjhfskhfkshfksjhfkjsfhjksdfhkjsdfhdjfhksjfhskhfksddhfksdkfhsfdkhsdhfkksjhfksjdhfksjdhfkjsdf ◊ bork ◊ bork bork bork bork bork ◊ Ixcvxcvxzcvxcvxczvzxcvxcvxzcvxcvxcvxcvcxvxzcv

GICAL LAW MA E

EMENT * RC FO N

EPARTME * D NT

The Minister of Magic and The Head of Magical Law Enforcement would like to thank the Auror Headquarters, Wizengamot Administration Services, Hit Wizards, Investigation Department, Ministry of Magic Witch Watchers, Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects, and all others that keep our world safe.

A D I VISI

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Cover

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Clarence's Chocolate Frogs

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The List (series of ads)

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Starflash Stitchery Layout: KackelDackel

Kerusaurus Twitch

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Auror Logs Author: starflashfairy

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Castles and Burrows Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Eldis_

Gazenbord & Pancakes, The Ultimate Combo Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: TheArchitectNurse

Crafts, Hobbies, and Brews Sourdough Madness, Sourdough Sadness

Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Photos: "Sourdough Bread Series" - Geraud Pfeiffer - via Pexels • pexels.com/photo/delicious-sourdough-bread-on- table-6605343/ • pexels.com/photo/crop-person-with-cut-freshbread-6605304/ • pexels.com/photo/slices-of-bread-on-cuttingboard-6605208/

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Divination

Ask Madam Starflash Author: starflashfairy Layout: Mathy16 Contributors: • Calleva_Rocks • Eldis_ • mylifeambitiom Queen_of_Darkeness

Tarot Lessons: The Magician Author: auntieabra Layout: 7ustine Illustration: patatas0

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Tarot Lessons: The Devil Author: auntieabra Layout: 7ustine Illustration: patatas0

Entertainment Swung by Serafim: Fanfic Review

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I Survived the Death of Unus Annus Author: Lyrical_Bee Layout: 7ustine

A Deafening Silence

Author: Mylifeambitiom Layout: KackelDackel Photo: "Blossoming Flowers" - Maria Orlova - via pexels • www.pexels.com/photo/blossoming-flowers-against-riverand-ridge-in-summertime-4916026/

Entwined

Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel

Atlantis - A Short Story Author: Eldis_ Layout: 7ustine Illustration: 7ustine

Lament for Severus - An Original Slytherin Song Author: Bartooliinii Layout: KackelDackel Photo: Bartooliinii

The List by Lauren Witholt: A Review Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Eldis_

How to Support Your Favourite Creators (Even If You Don't Have That Much Money to Spend) Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Eldis_

Fashion Hair Care

Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: "Charming Young Woman" Elina Sazonova - via pexels • www.pexels.com/photo/charming-young-woman-in-whitedress-4130211/ Typeface: "Hairline" - Thor Christopher Arisland - via dafont. com www.dafont.com/hairline.font

Fascinating Fashions and Where to Find Them Author: XanCanStand Layout: permagrinfalcon Illustration: permagrinfalcon

Mister Grey's Colourful World Author: Eldis_ Layout: 7ustine Illustration: 7ustine

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RIP Helen McCrory

Rainbow Fairy

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Progress Pride and House Pride Flags Illustration: Jumatsuga

Magical Plants and Creatures

Discoveries of Corbin Hediadar: Hydra Hunt Author: Rhia1 Layout: permagrinfalcon Illustration: permagrinfalcon

News and Features

Why Do the Pure-Bloods Hate the Muggles in the First Place? Author: Minute-Egg Layout: KackelDackel Photo: "Brick Wall" - Nikiko - via pixabay • pixabay.com/photos/window-wall-stone-wall-brickwall-484596/

Homophobia: A Muggle Invention? A Look into the LGBTQ+ in the Magical Community Author: Jumatsuga Layout: 7ustine Illustration: 7ustine

How to Be Around People Again

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The Chudley Cannons Bring a Victory

KackelDackel

Travel

Best Wizarding Summer Destinations

Author: Calleva_Rocks Layout: KackelDackel Photo: "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" - rdunative -via pixabay • pixabay.com/photos/weasleys--wizard-wheezes-diagonalley-2984441/

Regarding the Rod of Asklepios Author: veganjarl Layout: 7ustine Illustration: 7ustine

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Thank you for reading! See you next issue! -The Quibbler Staff

All Articles were Written by Quibbler Staff and Owned by Special Conspiracy Productions Productions except ones that are noted. For use of any articles in The Quibbler, Please contact Special Conspiracy Productions Copyright ©

The Quibbler Summer 2021

Articles inside

auror logs

travel

Classifieds

HorosCopes

fasHion

news and features

divination

Crafts, Brews, and HoBBies

Castles and Burrows