The Quibbler Fall 2021

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Editor-In-Chief & Divination Dept Head Starflashfairy Executive Editor wiksry Gryffindor Managing Editor NDoraTonks Hufflepuff Managing Editor laughterislouder Ravenclaw Managing Editor Eldis_

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k s e D ’s r o t i d E e h T Starflash From the Desk of Madam Greetings, Dear Readers!

. Please say hi to my . Dementors are swarming day bad a on me t gh cau You’ve way out. some chocolate on your nus, and help yourself to

Slytherin Managing Editor Im_Finally_Free Production Manager KackelDackel Production Assistants 7ustine Anne_Seelman overanxiousowl Permagrinfalcon PocketPropagandist strikeblazer

Web-Wizard Oomps62 Payroll spludgiexx Art Dept Head SinsationalDoom Castles & Burrows Dept Head -Niccolo_PiccoloCrafts, Brews, & Hobbies Dept Head Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts Dept Head VinumCupio Divination Auntieabra Education Dept Head Starboost3 Entertainment Dept Head silvertail8 Fashion Dept Head XanCanStand Magical Plants & Creatures Dept Head Ukpikjuaq News & Features Dept Head TipsyTippett Sports Dept Head mylifeambitiom Travel Dept Head mrsvanchamarch

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you May Fortune smile upon

Madam Starflash gglypuff-PatroEditor-in-Chief art.com/thevir usajg/art/Ji ant evi w.d ww // ps: htt : (SOURCE nus-663254651)

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THE QUIBBLER: NO. 34865 FALL 2021 THIS ISSUE OF THE QUIBBLER WAS CREATED, WRITTEN, PRODUCED AND REVIEWED BY THE HOGWARTS STAFF AT /R/THEQUIBBLER. THIS ISSUE FEATURES ARTICLES THAT EXPOSE THE TRUTH. SELLING OVER 1,500,000 COPIES WITH OVER 29,000 DIFFERENT ISSUES, WE ARE THE WIZARDING WORLD’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE AND REASON SINCE 1989. WE THANK YOU FOR READING AND PURCHASING OUR SMALL INDEPENDENT NEWS MAGAZINE

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Welcome to OUR BRAND NEW issue of the Quibbler. Below is an overview of everything you can find in this All new edition of the Quibbler! We hope you find the experience Both enlightening and entertaining! THE BIGGEST STORIES FROM THE

FRONTPAGE:

18 41 92

Brick by Brick: How Lego Saved My Sanity

The Prestigious and Most Private Diary of Dolores Jane Umbridge: Summer 1995

20 Years of Magic A retrospective on the Harry Potter franchise

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BREAKING NEWS:

jfjsdjwfksfkljklwenjkfnzwdiewghiorndgknakflenifnsdnakhwroiuwehdnmd, Castles and Burrows. .............................. 06

News and Features................................ 106

Crafts, Brews, and Hobbies. ................... 17

Sports. .....................................................112

Dark Arts................................................. 26

Independent Art. ...................................114

Divination................................................ 47

Horoscopes. ........................................... 128

Education. ............................................... 57

Classifieds.............................................. 129

entertainment......................................... 72

Auror Logs..............................................130

fashion...................................................... 94

Credits. .................................................. 132

magical plants

& Creatures.................... 98

STAFF:

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Editor-In-Chief: Starflashfairy Executive Editor: Wiksry Managing Editors: Im_Finally_Free, laughterislouder, NDoraTonks, Eldis_ Administration: Oomps62, spludgiexx, bribaek Layout and Design: KackelDackel, 7ustine, Anne_Seelman, overanxiousowl, Permagrinfalcon, PocketPropagandist, strikeblazer Art: Sinsational Doom Castles & Burrows: -Niccolo_Piccolo- Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies: Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts: VinumCupio Divination: auntieabra Education: Starboost3 Entertainment: silvertail8 Fashion: XanCanStand Magical Plants & Creatures: Ukpikjuaq News & Features: TipsyTippet Sports: mylifeambitiom Travel: mrsvanchamarch Contributors: 7ustine, Auntieabra, Belgian_fries-, Bubbasaurus, Eldis_,

Iguerr, InformalStudio6, Jumatsuga, KackelDackel, MadHatter5045, Mathy16, Neeshky, Overanxiousowl, PenelopeAutumn, Rhia1, Rimeofthekikimaiden, Silvertail8, SinsationalDoom, Skilik, Starflashfairy, Ukpikjuaq, VinumCupio, XanCanStand, Zelda_Cat34

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Top Tree Tips - Eldis_

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hristmas is amazing, and having a decorated tree is delightful. GETTING that tree, however, is, in my opinion, an absolute nightmare. But for everyone who, like me, buys a real life Christmas tree, here are some tips and tricks on getting that thing in & out of your home.

Tips I learned last year and remembered Transport your tree wearing proper gloves (not those woolly ones, but airtight ones). Even when it's not that cold. It'll protect you against the pinning needles.

Tips I learned this year Put on clothes that are allowed to get dirty. Or put on a pair of waterproof pants over your trousers. That plasticy fabric makes it easy to get mud off

When you move the tree inside, put the bucket you will put the tree in on your doormat. Place the tree in the bucket, and drag the doormat through the house to the place where the tree will go. This'll avoid scratches or muddy drag marks on your floor. Once the tree is in place, carefully shuffle it off of your doormat and voila!

Don't combine buying your tree with buying other groceries, especially not perishables. Getting that tree inside is trouble enough without having to worry about your other purchases. Don't remove the net around the tree when the tree is standing close to your (white) wall. The bottom of the net will be muddy. It will stain your walls.

Clean the floor of the spot your tree will go before placing the tree there, and directly after placing the tree (but before decorating). Once decorated, it's a lot harder to properly keep that area clean, and it's a very important area because it's where the presents go!

Keep the net that is around your Christmas tree. Try to keep it as whole as possible when you remove it. That way, Already put up some general decorations (fairy lights, those when the season is over and you have to move your tree little Xmas village things, a Christmas plaid on your couch…) to be discarded, you can put the net back around it for before buying the tree! It'll get you in the Christmas spirit convenient transportation. and decorating the tree is actually quite a lot of work. So if you already put up the general decorations, it's work you Buy a tree that doesn't have too many branches! A tree won't have to do when decorating the tree! that's too thick will be difficult to hang decorations in. Don't hesitate to thin your tree out a bit more with some Tips I learned last year but forgot until it was too late pruning shears. Don't believe the tree seller when he says that that lopsided tree will balance itself out straight again. Or that you won't Tips I learned last year and we'll see if I remember see it when it's in your home. Or that you can easily push/ Don't overwater your tree! The water will stay in the bucket pull it straight again. Once lopsided, always lopsided. and start to stink. Also, it's just not good for your tree anyways. It needs less water than you think! Measure the area where you want to put your tree, so you don't accidentally buy a tree that's too broad, too When it's time to say goodbye to your tree and your munichigh, too small… I guesstimated correctly this year, but ipality has specific pickup days where you can put the tree it was inconvenient! next to the street and they'll get rid of it for you, don't pick the very final day they do so to put your tree down there. I Don't go tree shopping if your back hurts. Or at least take know the temptation to keep your tree a little longer is very some ibuprofen before you go. Trees be heavy. strong, but you never know what might happen that day and taking down the tree whilst stressed isn't a fun way to end the season! Even after you have to discard your tree, there is no shame in still leaving some other decorations up! The true meaning of Christmas, according to Charles Dickens, is generosity, and that can be celebrated all year round. You can take Christmas music in June from my cold, dead hands. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, and a happy new year to you! I hope you all have a lovely holiday season, and we hope to see you in 2022.

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Hauntingly beautiful coloring book featuring witches with their magical familiars and an illustrated short story about what it means to be a witch. AnneSeelmann.de

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CARE FOR YOUR CASTLE Eldis’ Top Tips for a Hygienic House Bedroom Edition by Eldis_

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Artwork provided by Eldis_

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AU T

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CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER

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IDER C E L P P

Autumn is definitely one of my favorite seasons, but with every step we get closer to winter and its brisky breath. Luckily, one can always battle the cold with brews and concoctions of their own, and I'm here to share one of mine!

Autumn Apple Cider Serving size: 0,5 Litres Time: 4 hours Ingredients:

• 1 litre of water • 0,5 kg apples (red are generally sweeter) • 3 tablespoons(15ml) of brown sugar • 1 teaspoon(5ml) of ground cinnamon • 1 teaspoon(5ml) of ground allspice • 1 teaspoon(5ml) of ground ginger Preparation: Cut apples into roughly ⅛ pieces and place them in a sizable pot. Add the water, brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and allspice. Mix. Bring to boil without a pot cover, and let it boil for an hour. After that, turn down the heat, and let it simmer under a pot cover for 2-3 hours. Strain the mixture to a bottle / a jug through a fine sieve with the help of a funnel / ladle. Discard the apples. Drink when warm, or cool cider in the fridge before serving.

BY JUMATSUGA

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irusby the v s e c ie p ed to d chopp n a r e d ed. a blen be-nam t o n ll lly that-sha beautifu y m f o t f ou lstrom o e thrown a s a m w a s I to y life wa Suddenly entalised life in m f o t r tm buy gle pa compar e food I very sin h e t d y n u a b , ns n’t unknow suddenly could rom one day to f I . n’t know ffice or working affected id d I . y eo ida ute every Fr I would be in th y comm m k r o if w s id go to it alway the next d n I a n h t e h e .W tim r at home erent length of ave late le r e h f it e if ith. took a d meant I had to rtable w , o f m o c h s ic nging n I wa has, wh rlier tha edules were cha m the a e e iv r or ar es fro n sch televisio d speech with a n e a h t s g n n e Ev iefi nce daily br ato existe with new ter popping in lling into a perm ce inis ira nice pla Prime M notice. I was sp a ’t n s a it w rs’ few hou of anxiety, and e first UK locke th t yI nent sta midst of or that birthda e h t in en nd f to be. Th thday, a s Express kit. ir b a d a t down I h a Lego Hogwar d e f t was gif isted. O x e o g y e k L sh kid g speby u/nee n I was a ecall there bein e h w k c x don’t r Now ba ad a bo e way I h ic t n u w e b a , n is k did hich d you one I course it habit, w s. Every room an ut pulsive f y it m o k la o e c p r m e u o ir t d a ssiv the d, b cific fan am a cre hat I have obse bricks in ination provide go in a very e m f o li d y n t a m g r g full of ted a Le of sayin lead me to live lled manner. I our ima if y g r g e v in e e t a ro at so b sa built wh traits th anised and cont drinks, lly a fan hirty-seven wa a w e e r n r e k v g in r t e r e of and I was n strictly o foods, I don’t d e old ag ore bed st. ip f r e e b w h e t e n t in t y the lea me it a out a a r s k s t o e c t h a t x g don’t ea t e a e musin the sam leave my house ral days ute little be e o r v e t s s I follow r I il fi t , the box un ake up rive the to avoid pen the g o when I w day, I always d estination (even in n y e r v t e d ry end, d soI didn’t time eve ed to any given ker way). I feel t a loose related news an f a s a w I arn is out o emic later. a quic I ever le t, and th of pand and when I ran c ows me t e h h s p g x y e u d o o la t e, ons st, it if someb n I know what coverag e. At lea 20, ia d m e r e o m h f l w cia ch 20 oblem better een a pr or me until Mar into b r e v e n has rown blem f er a pro held holy was th v e n s a w I erything when ev

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uilt I have b e n li e h wn t f Hog ange do e ersion o , the h h v c t r t d a n la a u n d r mo Hut t dow A yea from the orest, Hagrid’s tantly sa x with no s c it lu k e e r v I F Burrow. n bo ll fi do e e a e o h d t h t t s id d g b p n r u in a o s eF de, p hour pened other th warts, th Pitch, Hogsmea ext few nd I kee n a le and o e b le h a a t T s . n r n e ch mo soeve kitch Quiddit I see the when I feel over ns what n e io t h a w t c s w e it s exp I buy k on’t kno for time life. d e y t s id m s ju d e I e n o g num when chang them to somethin kit into t, times d s e e h lo e t r n f o I o d d d d le e on next an to groun eparati mile and appea tifully whelm n s le e b e p a h p t t a , ic du es pred will h Firstly orld ite and made m ense of order. I ng the what n s fi g a d arding W b n iz a d s i W le n e a r t ib u bere e a g t n tan tly re oks lik to my in office lo er 1, nea eir turn, and it. b y m M directly . u e n m ag th nd I love b t a i t , n a e u o c o g w e o d la ty t pulle odel vil nging th le, om reali the box r m a f r o r t k a s a e g y r ll a ab tab , refu other b need of After ca o the side of the toy store in . e r n e h e t v p e o a o t e t ’r ip er 1 t at a t form tore i So if you ecommend a tr g numb zing wh in a nea a a e b n m p f o a y i r o t t ’s s c ly t d it ten ess. r an hat nstru I strong ur madn rns out t by colou ccompanying i o u d t y e r r it o e f e d s r o o he a becau can d pened t method . f t o n e it tion, I o w b I little d away ous m a book an f t a as th es of by bag, g a b the piec , k id ic d r o b s y t for ether Brick b ame tog was quie tely c e in a in r g b n ple red e d. My red min ths, focussed com task at u t c a r f my on the time in m ethodology of g t s r fi e h m t g e of layin in in t t r u o o f r m d o build lishe on the c ly estab bag. When the w e n e h t each press hand, ces from ew Hogwarts Ex ie p e h n the t out shiny n roudly o ss p y g m , in e d n f lo stan was do e sense o , platform in n u n io t e a g t t s and e, I felt a More than tha m e r o f r table be ocess was over. no longe I . r d e p d e n h , grou that t . elt calm f I , h d before g a u h I tho s a e as lost ought felt quit efore I b b s r u o 36 h a whole d e t s a l I kit. my next

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For the Love of Thestrals Art by KackelDackel

Excerpts from the Journal of Asterion Black, amatuer Magizoologist July 31, 1806: Day 1

I have decided to keep a journal of my efforts to study the mysterious beasts known as Threstrals. Ever since that first Care of Magical Creatures class, I have wanted to understand those strange, shy creatures. My greatest obstacle, of course, is that I have never witnessed death; it seems far too morbid to track down a dying person to watch, and, well, the other option is no option at all, so I 36

will instead use it as an experiment to see how much a naturologist can study a creature that they cannot perceive.

Still though, I have to admit an overwhelming curiosity over it all. I still remember the look on Professor Lighthorn’s face when that creature wandered towards us. I could see the impressions in the dirt, and hear the faint rustle of what I imagine must have been its wings, but the look on his face… It was a strange mixture of revulsion and disgust, but also grief, and pity. Just how terrifying are they? By all accounts, they seem to be shy and gentle creatures.


DARK ARTS QUIBBLER In any case, I have been given access to the ‘Forbidden’ Forest herd at Hogwarts, where I will be allowed to study what I can. Professor Wumplestein, the Headmaster, seemed slightly surprised at my request, but he will allow me to stay in the empty Groundskeeper cabin on the edge of the woods. I will be leaving for Scotland tomorrow, so that shall end my thoughts for now.

October 29, 1806: Day 90

September 4, 1806: Day 35

The next day, when they came to my hut for god knows what, I was in the field. I didn’t see them immediately as I walked back, but Star did. My Star… when Prince came at me, hand out… well, I don’t know what they did, but I think it’s clear that he can see them. He cried out in shock and ran back towards the castle, yelling about monsters. Geraldine ran after him, not even a look at me. A moment later I felt Star nudge my head. What an evil man he must be, to be afraid of a creature like Star. I wish I knew what he had seen though…

No one told me Geraldine became a professor. I haven’t seen her since I graduated, that must have been 4 years ago. She was so kind to me in school… I wonder if she’s still with that Prince chap… In any case, my studies continue to go swimmingly. One Thestral in particular seems keen on me (I think it’s the same one anyway). They seem to have a small scar above their eye, as the skin feels different when I run my fingers over it. It has allowed me to measure its wings, and generally sticks around me when I go to research the eating habits and other aspects of their biology. I’ve started calling it Star. Some of the school children seem to have heard rumors of me that are entirely unfounded. They seem to think I’m some kind of loony, and I’ve had the windows of the hut broken a few times. While the Headmaster has assured me the students won’t come near my hut again, I can’t help but feel their detentions were rather light.

October 18, 1806: Day 79 I still can’t believe she’s engaged to that prat! After all he did to me in school… How could such a lovely girl fall in love with a monster like that? She told me he’s grown up, that he isn’t the same person as before, but I hardly believe that. The day after I learned the truth, I spent most of the day crying to Star. Although I can’t see them, I could feel them nuzzling me; they would not leave my side, even when the rest of the herd took off on one of their evening flights (an observation based on the sudden sound of flapping, and the movement of the pines around them as they ascend). No, instead, they stood next to me, nibbling on some remnant of meat. At one point, I swear I thought I felt the ghost of a wing on my shoulder. How could anyone be repulsed by these creatures? They are so kind and gentle, even with their dark connections, they are such wonderful creatures.

He hasn’t changed at all. He came out to visit her, and when he saw me at dinner, he immediately started with those old jokes. The comments about my mother, my blood purity… And Geraldine laughed. I can’t believe I was so wrong about her. The betrayal keeps circling in my head.

I have the beginnings of a plan. He’s supposed to be here on All Hallow’s for the feast… what a night indeed.

October 31 1806 I can hear them, searching for me. They know what I’ve done. But I needed to know, I needed to see Star just once. And I rid Geraldine of that pathetic excuse of a fiance in the same blow. As I watched the life leave his eyes, I felt an odd sort of thrill, even though I had to escape nearly immediately. I plan to fly away on Star; in the dark of night, no one will see us. This is my final entry, for tonight I shall at last see my friend, and that is all that matters to me now. Although he was one of the voices for the wider acceptance of creatures like Threstrals, Asterion Black is more widely known for his murder of Bradley Prince, member of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at Hogwarts Castle on Halloween of 1806. While he escaped capture for a short time, he and his Threstral were eventually caught, and he was sentenced to Azkaban Prison. While attempts were made to reintroduce the Thestral to the herd at the Dark Forest Magical Beast Preserve, sources who could more easily study the beasts say that ‘Star’ was never the same, and flew off after only two days with her herd. ---This was compiled by AuntieAbra

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5 July 2021

Woke at 06:00hr. Toileted and dressed. Breakfast of berries and nuts as previous. Packed up camp and trekked approximately 1km.

by u/neeshky Archibald Rivista was the most celebrated diarist of the modern age prior to his mysterious and untimely death at the age of 86 in the forests of Canada earlier this year. Famed for his meticulous recounting of the ins and outs of his daily life, Rivista published no less than 142 abridged volumes, with both “The Ilvermorny Years” and “Alaskan Affairs’ oustripping even the disgraced Gilderoy Lockhart in sales. While in Canada gathering material for his next publication, Rivista was reported missing by his publisher, Casseopia Merry, on 12 July 2021 when he failed to send a planned update owl. A search party found Rivista’s remains on 17 July 2021 in a remote part of the boreal shield area, with media releases stating only that it was believed that Rivista met with ‘an unfortunate accident’. The last volume of his writings, tited “The Final Adventure” was released by his publishers on 20 September 2021 and charts Rivista’s experiences in Canada, closing with an entry dated 30 June 2021 which details his plan to enter the forest the following day. Whilst the 30 June 2021 entry may end the formal publication, it should come as no surprise that the man renowned for recording his life also recorded his own death. We can now exclusively reveal the last entries of Archibald Rivista’s final personal journal, but be warned, what follows is not for the faint hearted.

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Entered small clearing and discovered what appears to be juvenile Runespoor. All three heads present and creature in trance-like state. Smaller than typical, and colouring restricted to underbelly with grey colouring over spine. ?crossbreed. ?new species. Unclear how a wild runespoor would come to be in the wilds of Canada. Will monitor. Camp set in clearing, protective enchantments undertaken as standard. Meal of boiled fish at 18:00hr. Runespoor remains immobile.

6 July 2021

Woke late, 07:46hr. Toileted and dressed. Breakfast as previous Runespoor remains as yesterday. Made closer approach to study. Right head hissing loudly and appears to be attempting to rouse central head. Sketch made of markings. Wider exploration of area. Colony of bowtruckles in nearby tree, eggs collected for future study.

7 July 2021

Made terrible error. Runespoor is indeed a crossbreed, though with what remains unclear. Approached at approximately 11:00hr in order to complete sketch. Right head succeeded in waking central head.


DARK ARTS QUIBBLER

As I backed away the creature took its tail in the mouth of its central head, the other heads appeared to retract inside the body, and the creature charged at me much like a hoop rolling down a hill. Ran some distance with runespoor in pursuit. Fell on a root and runespoor pierced my right leg with tail before retreating. Leg swollen, red, painful and warm to touch. Slight blackening of skin around large puncture wound. Fear poison. Wand broken in fall. Cannot apparrate out. Currently unable to stand. 14:00hr right foot and ankle lost all sensation. Unable to bear weight. Feeling feverish. Attempt made to crawl back to camp but am disoriented. 17:00hr Temporary shelter made from nearby branches and leaves. Leg aflame. Blackening of skin extending up towards knee. Have only journal, quill, ink, broken wand, and small portion of nuts and berries on my person.

8 July 2021

Awoke several times overnight. Right leg entirely black with no sensation. Puncture wound leaking black and purple prurient substance. Nausea but no vomiting. Desperate thirst. Will attempt to locate water source.

ing on urination and from mouth. Stomach cramps despite eating last of supplies. Shakes. Fear I may not survive.

9 July 2021

Stomach bloated. Bleeding from mouth and ears. Blackness now extends over abdomen and groin. Sounds of creatures in foliage, think they are waiting for my demise. Dark blood in vomit and urination. Violent shaking fits. Vision failing. Need sleep. Cassie, I am sorry. Tell Thaddius to burn the Siren Archive. He will understand. All is dark. It hurts. Casseopia Merry has remained tight lipped regarding these entries, declining our repeated requests for an interview. It is almost certain that Rivista’s final message was intended for Thaddius Bickerwill, his long time research partner, however, it is not known what the 'Siren Archive' is, nor why he would want it destroyed. Given that Bickerwell met his own end by natural means shortly after Rivista was discovered, one can only speculate as to whether this mysterious archive remains intact.

15:00hr Unsuccessful. Cannot stand or walk, minimal strength for crawling. Now bleed-

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Additional art by 7ustine


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Justice Upright: Justice, Balance, Equality, Triumph Reversed: Injustice, Imbalance, Inequality, Corruption, Biases Allow me a moment to list, for posterity, some of the traits associated with the grand house -- Hufflepuff: hardworking, patient, loyal, just and fair. In the same house we associate with comfort and welcome, we see a strong sense of morality, and a desire to do what is right. There is no better, nor more appropriate card to reflect that aspect of Hufflepuff, than Justice itself. While this is not exactly a ‘dark-side’ of Hufflepuff, it does certainly reflect a side unlike the commonly accepted image of a student of Helga’s. It shows a sense of neutrality, and a willingness to put aside emotion in order to pursue their iron-strong sense of right and wrong. In the great Battle of Hogwarts in May of ‘98, nearly every eligible (as well as some ineligible) Hufflepuff student fought against the forces of the Dark Lord, despite very clearly running into possible death. Many saw this fight as the only path to take in order to fight the injustice they had seen rise at the hands of the Death Eaters. When Justice appears in a reading, know that the cause of the querent is truly righteous. Justice stands for fairness, truth, and, most obviously, justice. A commonly held (and sometimes accurate) belief among tarot readers, is that its presence could even indicate that the outcome of an argument will land in favor of the querent. The classic illustration of the card holds layer upon layer of symbolism; the most obvious being the scales of justice, the balance we all seek between truth and understanding. Also included, traditionally, is a double edged sword--a reminder that all choices hold consequences. In this sense, the card itself most often means that you are being called forth to stand in judgement for your actions. If you acted in service of the greater good, and followed your moral compass to the path of the Just, then you have little to worry about. If you have acted selfishly, expect some recompense to be demanded; even then, do not be too afraid. Justice is nothing without understanding the human at the heart of the issue, and one can always be expected to be treated without bias or malice by the forces of Justice. Should this card appear in a ‘future’ or ‘outcome’ position, take it as a moment of consideration. Why are you following the path you are on? Who does it serve? Would you be willing to stand proudly at judgement, no matter the outcome? Take a moment to consider the consequences of your actions before you act, if only to affirm you are on the right path. While frequently associated with the negative side, there are positive consequences of actions as well. Make sure your choices are worth it. For this card, we chose Susan Bones, who likely would have been tapped for Minister of Magic had she not been killed by the Death Eaters. Despite the overwhelmingly negative view of Harry within the Ministry, when she was presented with evidence of Harry’s innocence, she refused to continue with the charges, and instead led the vote for his immediate release. It is highly implied that she was a great threat against the forces of the Dark Lord, just one of the reasons why she was targeted before the coup. I also challenge you to look at the world right now--even if it's the world within your bubble. Do you feel as though you are living your truth? Are you on a path that you can be proud of? While the world is not nearly so black and white, I encourage you to look at the lessons of Justice and at what you yourself wish to stand for, and work towards those goals. When judgement comes, be ready for the consequences, whatever they may be.

By auntieabra Illustration by patatas0

Layout by 7ustine

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Madame ASK

- Fall 2021 -

Dearest Penniless, Your three Galleons, four sickles, six knuts, and that shiny rock you got from the Muggle shop have all been dropped into the niffler’s pocket. Ask an older student Dear Madam Starflash, to perform a Summoning Charm for you. Then take the niffler to Hagrid. He’ll keep it safe. I am a second-year student at Hogwarts and I have recently acquired a niffler. Consequently, it has taken all my wealth and hidden it. The niffler shows no signs of where it has hidden my money and I am too worried to ask for help, in case I get expelled. What should I do?

May Fortune smile upon you!

Sincerely, Penniless Student

Dear Madam Starflash, I am much conflicted about which path I should take in my studies. Should I nourish my interest in writing, or try my wings in magical communication and politics? Many thanks in advance! Sincerely, Lost in the Woods

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Dearest Lost, Always start with your area of interest. If you enjoy writing, go for it! All the better if you combine your interests and give writing about magical communication and politics a shot. May Fortune smile upon you!


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Essay Writing 101:

W

elcome to university/ college. You've chosen to study a language as your major or minor, congrats! You like reading, right, so spending your days channelling the perfect dark academia aesthetic, reading texts written by dead poets and learning about Shakespeare (and I guess other Elizabethan playwrights as well, if you have to) sounds like the dream. The year starts off great! The professors are weird but smart, all of your fellow classmates are nerds and probably also queer, and you get to read cool stuff and then discuss it in class! Fantastic. But at the end of a successful seminar where you really felt like you made some revolutionary points about life and death in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, the lecturer utters some horrifying words: "don't forget the essay is due next week!" Alas, a literature study isn't all just drinking tea and learning to understand Sparknotes memes (although that is a large part of it). It is, in fact, a lot of work. And now you have to write an essay? How are you even going to do that? Enter me. The Quibbler is not my full-time job. I am, in fact, in possession of a BA in English, and will soon be in possession of a ReMa in Old English literature as well. Suffice to say that I've written my fair share of essays. With the added bonus that my university was so kind to actually force us to take courses on "how to write a good essay". So here's one and a half year of specialised courses and 5+ years of experience condensed into a single Quibbler article, just for you. Enjoy.

How to Write an Argumentative Essay for Literature Studies

- Eldis_ 62


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STEP ZERO - START ON TIME Very important. Crucial, even. For any essay that’s at least 1000 words, I want to take at least a week. I can easily write a 1000-word essay in less time now, since I have so much practice, but it’s better not to. Having more time allows you to think through the essay even when you’re not actively working on it. I usually get great ideas when I’m about to go to sleep. So during the deadline season, I have a notebook and pen next to my bed. Allow your brain some time to digest the information necessary for the essay. Start. On. Time. STEP ONE - KNOW WHAT IS EXPECTED The first active step to any essay isn't writing, and isn't research either. It's knowing what your lecturer wants. What is actually required of you? Carefully read, and then reread, the assignment. Look out for: • How many words/pages? Are footnotes, if applicable, included or excluded from the word/page count? How much are you allowed to deviate from the word/page count? • Which topic? Can you choose whatever? Does the professor provide you with a research question? Do you get multiple questions to choose from? Does it have to be about a specific text, genre or topic? • Which formatting? Do you have to use MLA, APA, Chicago? • When's the deadline? Are there in-between deadlines where you have to hand in drafts?

Make note of this information, maybe write it down as a bullet point list, if your lecturer has not already. STEP TWO - CHOOSE YOUR TOPIC Okay. You have your information, you know your assignment. Now, it's time to choose your topic. If the lecturer pre-provides it for you, great! You have the single topic you have to write about at the ready. Read the question or statement carefully. Is it really one question, or does it consist of multiple parts? Look out for words like "and" and "or". A question like "Compare and contrast how people inside the narrative react to Margery Kempe and the Wife of Bath. To what extent can they be considered exemplars?" isn't one question at all. If you have to write an essay about that, you have to write about: 1. How the people in the narrative react to Margery Kempe 2. How the people in the narrative react to the Wife of Bath 3. How these two reactions overlap 4. How these two reactions differ 5. To which extent Margery Kempe is considered an exemplar 6. To which extent the Wife of Bath is considered an exemplar Not as straightforward as it seems, clearly. Read carefully and try to separate the question or statement into as many small questions or statements as possible. Did your lecturer give you a list of questions or statements to choose from? Great! See which ones stand out to you. Go through the list and note down the questions you find interesting. This’ll usually eliminate quite a few options already. From your own list, pick the one you like best. To eliminate options, consider:

• What are the general requirements? Do you need to use a minimum amount of sources? Give the location, size and date of the manuscript you're using? Include at • Which primary text do I like the best out of least xyz number of images? Do you need these options? to add a ‘state of the field’? An abstract? • Which critical approach do I prefer? If one requires a feminist approach, and

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another a post-colonialist approach but you are really interested in women's rights, it's wise to choose the former. • Which one do I think I can motivate myself to write about? When you choose a question, reread it on the lecturer's list, not on your own list, and, as demonstrated above, separate it into smaller questions. Are you free to choose your own topic? Consider the core subject of the course. • Which week of lectures did you find most interesting? • Which of the primary texts you had to read did you enjoy most? • Which secondary source made the most fascinating points? • Or, alternatively, which secondary source did you disagree with most? Based on these elements, construct your own research question or statement. Then, and please don't forget this, check with your lecturer if they're OK with you writing about this. Do this BEFORE you invest a lot of time into research!! Truly have no idea what to write about? Ask your lecturer for help! That's what they're there for! STEP 3 - READ THE PRIMARY SOURCE

If your text is published as, or part of a collection published as, a critical edition with an introduction, read the introduction. This is an amazingly comprehensive overview of the state of scholarship surrounding the text, presented to you on a silver platter. Use it! When reading, or rereading, the primary source, make notes on what you think might be useful. Write down chapter titles or page/ line numbers, with a brief summary of the scene (can just be "Grendel's first introduction l. 86"). Only do this with moments you think you’re going to use, though, it’s not the point to rewrite the entire text. STEP 4 - READ SECONDARY SOURCES So, you’ve read the primary text and you now also have a general idea of the scenes you might use for your essay. Now it’s time to broaden your horizons: what are other people saying about this? Once again, Wikipedia and Sparknotes can be a great starting point, but should never be an ending point. If you are writing on something that has already been extensively discussed (like “religion in Animal Farm”), these websites are great resources for the current general academic consensus - if they answer your entire research question, you should probably choose a more innovative topic for your essay.

The great thing about Wikipedia is that it cites Now, you know what you have to do, you have its sources. Those little blue hyperlinked numyour topic, it's time to…. read the primary bers are there for a reason, and they make for source you're using. And NO, only reading a great starting point to find secondary sourcthe Wikipedia page or the Sparknotes summa- es. The references in the Wikipedia page for ry does not count. These are both great startthe Middle English poet Thomas Hoccleve, for ing points, especially if the text is a bit more example, regularly mention Sebastian Sobecdifficult, but they are no replacement for actual- ki and J. A. Burrow, and also contains a quite ly reading the primary source itself, preferably, recent reference of Misty Schieberle. These if possible, in its original language. You can, if references come from the Oxford Dictionary relevant, use a translation as a guide, but try to of National Biography, books published by use multiple different translations when actual- Oxford University Press and Medium Ævum. ly forming your argument. If the point you want These are all highly trustworthy sources in to make works in one translation, but none of the early English discipline, so great places to the others, it's time to properly examine the start. The ‘Scholarship’ tab also mentions Dasource text or toss out the argument. vid Watt, Ethan Knapp and Nicholas Perkins, 64


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so those are also relevant people to look for. The article also links to the International Hoccleve Society, so that will probably also be a wonderful resource! You do, however, have to look beyond what Wikipedia gives you. Try to summarise your topic in 2-3 words (usually one relevant term + name of primary source/author), and put those in whichever academic search engine your university/college supplies. “Feminism Beowulf”, “depression Hoccleve”, “gay picture Dorian Grey” would all work great. Most sources your institution provides will be trustworthy, but if you have never heard of a publication or press before it might be wise to Google them and see how usable they are. JSTOR will usually provide you with other articles the article you’re looking at is cited in, which is very convenient - especially if the articles refute the original one you’re reading. During your research, copy-paste relevant quotes into a word document. Don’t forget to give the page numbers and where you have the information from. An example from my latest essay’s source doc looks like this: In the late 17th century, the main production of paper was holland (27) Werner, Sarah. Studying Early Printed Books, 1450-1800: A Practical Guide, John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated, 2019. ProQuest Ebook Central It might be convenient to sort these under subject headers, especially if you discuss more than one primary text or use multiple approaches. Create a new bookmark folder in your browser where you can bookmark all the articles you’ve found online, so you can easily find them again. Don’t forget to save the source document, preferably with a name that will allow you to find it again. “[course name] essay sources” usually works fine for me.

STEP 5 - FORM AN OPINION You have read the primary source(s), you have looked at what other people think. Now it’s time to formulate what you think. What is your interpretation of the text? How do you think xyz concept is used in it? What does that add to the text? Which specific arguments can you use to support this opinion? And, very importantly, is your opinion different from what you’ve read? Are you contributing to the research, or just parroting what other people have said? Because if it’s the latter, you are going to have to return to step two and adjust your research question/topic. STEP 6 - BULLET POINT ARGUMENTS You have an opinion! YAY! Look at you, engaging with your chosen discipline. I’m so proud. Now it’s time to convince other people your opinion is correct. And to do that, you’re going to have to bring proof to the table. So it’s time to make a rough outline of what your essay is going to be. For a proper literary essay, the format will usually be One main thesis • Mini thesis that proves main thesis • Mini thesis that proves main thesis • Mini thesis that proves main thesis • Mini thesis that proves main thesis • etc Conclusion The structure you learned in high school, of • • • • •

Argument in favour Argument in favour Argument in favour Argument against Rebuttal

works great in high school and is a wonderful tool to teach you how to formulate your opinions and deal with counter-arguments, but does not work in an academic setting. It’s a very useful stepping stone to master, but not an end goal to stay stuck at. 65


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In this step, write down your hypothesis, and, with bullet points underneath, quickly summarise what the point of each of your arguments will be, with a general idea of which proof you are going to use. This doesn’t have to be in the exact correct order, nor does it have to be fully complete, you can use ‘??’ as placeholders. Again, an example from one of my essays is • Monster Slayers in Letter of Alexander to Aristotle and Beowulf Intr • Beowulf Monsters humanised Line 276 Grendel’s mother l. 1330 etc Grendel l. 86-94 Dragland 611 Beo monseristed Becomes 1 with monster blah Flawed person But sole hero? • Alexyboi Monsters in human mastery Joy source p Lexyboi is prideful not sole hero • Concl. Not extremely well-worded, and definitely not fleshed out, but it does the job to get an overview of the goal of my essay. I highly recommend doing this by hand, with a physical pen(cil) on physical paper. This’ll allow you to later quickly note down added arguments, proof, sources etc. without having to find the document you originally typed this in, and without needing the linear structure word provides. Those line numbers neatly listed above? In my notes, they’re written halfway across the page with a huge arrow leading back to ‘monsters humanised’. It can also help if you write down how many words you want to spend on each argument. A 1000word essay with 3 arguments, will usually result in about 300 words per argument, leaving 66

you with 100 words for the introduction and conclusion together. Additionally, consider the order of your arguments. ‘General to specific’, like a triangle on its point. works nicely: You start with a broader overview, and then narrow in on the details you want to touch on. Of course, this triangle can be really small for shorter essays, and a bit longer for longer essays. But at least somewhat ease your reader into the topic. STEP 7 - WRITE You’ve done your research, you’ve formed an opinion. You know roughly what you’re going to say. Fantastic! Now it’s time to actually start writing. The best way to start writing is, well, to start. It’s very easy to stay in your research-rabbit hole and have fun there, but the essay does have to be written. Don’t start with the introduction or conclusion. Either start with the first argument in your list of arguments, or the argument you like best. I personally prefer to write my essays ‘chronologically’, so aside from the introduction and conclusion I do write the arguments in the order that they will appear in my essay eventually, but I’ve also written some very successful essays backwards (final argument first), in the original correct order but later changed the order, and in completely random orders. Whichever method works for you is fine. Unless you truly know a killer opening line or have the entire introduction thought out, it’s wiser to leave the introduction and conclusion till last. The body of your essay, whilst writing, is still very much subject to change, which will influence the content of your introduction and conclusion. It’s a waste of time and energy to write those first and then being forced to rewrite them. But how exactly do you write a body paragraph of your essay? Well, it is exactly this question that we discussed in those aforementioned 1.5 years of mandatory ‘how to write an essay’-courses. The trick is to use PPS. For the sake of explaining this system, let’s say you’re


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writing a 2000-word essay with the thesis “The Quibbler falls outside of any one genre.” You have split your essay up into two main parts. Your supporting arguments are as follows: • The Quibbler contains fiction The Quibbler contains poetry The Quibbler contains short stories The Quibbler contains movie scripts • The quibbler contains non-fiction The Quibbler provides educational content The Quibbler reports on real-life news stories The Quibbler contains recipes

tent. This is the main body of your paragraph. Explain, as thoroughly as you can, why your point is indeed true. Significance Now, I can talk about those articles, but why does it matter? How does your proof, well, prove your point? This bit functions as the conclusion to your argument. A sentence like “Each of these articles aim to provide information to the reader, making them educational content” would show the significance of the proof you have provided.

The paragraph you’re working on is “The Quibbler provides educational content.” Point Each paragraph is its own mini-essay. It starts with your point, your thesis statement for this part of the essay. In this case, “The Quibbler provides educational content.” You can very easily start your essay with this exact sentence, and I even highly recommend you do, especially if you don't have much practice writing academic essays yet. Your first, or one of your first two, sentences in your paragraph must make it absolutely, abundantly clear what the point, or message, of the rest of that paragraph is going to be. Proof You have stated your argument. Now you have to convince people you are correct. Anyone can just yell that the Quibbler contains educational content, but is that true? Here, you provide the proof that your first statement is indeed correct. For our “educational content” claim, you can use “Hair Care”(pp. 54-7, Summer 2021), “Sinterklaas: The Dutch Santa” (pp.48-9, Winter 2021), “Halloween: Past and Present” (p. 58, Fall 2020), “Harry Potter, A Case Study of Social Class in British Literature” (pp. 40-1, Spring 2020), “Exam Stress” (pp. 26-7, Summer 2018) and the article you’re reading right now as proof that the Quibbler indeed contains educational con67


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Your paragraph will then look somewhat like this: The Quibbler provides educational content. In their Summer 2018 issue, Silvestress writes about methods to curb stress surrounding exams. The Quibbler here provides six easy steps, explaining, in simple language, why each step is necessary. The article “Harry Potter, A Case Study of Social Class in British Literature”, explores how ‘to discover what social issues are important to or engrained into a culture’ through its literature. It talks about the NRS social grades, which outlines the modern-day state of social class in the United Kingdom, and goes on to elaborate how these contemporary realities of inequality are reflected within the hugely popular Harry Potter series. The same contributor, in the Winter 2021 edition of the Quibbler, explains the history behind the Dutch feast of ‘Sinterklaas’, a precursor to the American Santa. The article details the origins of the feast. It discusses the saint it was based on, the feast’s start in the 15th century and the modern-day political debate surrounding some elements of its celebration. A similar history, but this time about Halloween, is given by /u/crippling_depression. This article examines the feast’s Celtic origins, Christian changes and arrival in the United States, outlining the origin of trick-or-treating and giving data on how much candy is bought for Halloween in the US alone. As of writing, the Quibbler’s most recent issue contains a four-page article on how to take proper care of your hair, describing hair’s biological nature, its growth and its behaviour when exposed to liquid, heat and cold. Each of these articles aims to provide information to the reader, making them educational content. Of course, you will need to include proper source formatting. This PPS format is also known as PEE (Point, Evidence, Explanation) or PIE (Point, Illustration, Explanation). They all mean the same thing, but one of the acronyms might be easier to remember for you. 68

Follow this PPS format for each paragraph in your essay. Since you are using a ‘general to specific’ format, the overarching argument-structure of your essay will also be PPS: it’s applicable at a micro(paragraph)level and macro(entire essay)level. Then, it’s time for your conclusion and introduction. You can write these in whichever order works best for you. Your introduction must, well, introduce your topic. What are you talking about? And why is it relevant? Why should anyone read this essay? The opening line has to be gripping, and it is helpful for your introduction to follow a general-to-specific format. For our hypothetical essay, you can first briefly discuss online magazines and genres in general, before speaking about the Quibbler and its genres specifically. In your conclusion, you quickly summarise what you have said in the essay. This is not the place to introduce new arguments or new proof. It’s the closing statement, where you briefly paraphrase each of your arguments. If your professor requires it of you, this is also where you can propose further research. For our hypothetical Quibbler-genre essay, you can mention that “The Quibbler publishes both fiction and non-fiction. Its submissions range from short stories to recipes, and from news stories to film scripts.” Finish off with a good sentence that properly marks the end of your entire essay, and that preferably calls back to your introduction. As far as titles go, I personally prefer a main title with either alliteration (Qualifying the Quibbler/Genres Galore), a pun or an appropriate quote from the primary source. The subtitle can then be a straight-forward title of what happens in the essay. "Genres Galore: Exploring the Genre of Reddit's The Quibbler".


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STEP 8 - SPELLCHECK Once you’ve finished the entire body of your text, it’s time for proofreading! Go through your entire essay to spell check. Does the grammar match up? Did you, when you moved sentences around, properly adjust the grammar? Have you properly spelt out all words, rather than use contractions (in academic contexts, always write ‘do not’, ‘it is’, ‘you are’ rather than ‘don’t’, ‘it’s’ ‘you’re’)? Use various different spellcheckers provided by whatever you write on to help you out, or maybe ask a friend! Grammarly or similar downloadable spell checkers are also absolutely amazing at catching the things you didn’t see, but do not hesitate in dismissing their suggestions when you know better. STEP 9 - READ OUT LOUD Read your entire essay out loud. Yes. The full thing. You’ve been staring yourself blind at this for quite some time, so you’re not going to see the weirdly phrased bits, the overly long sentences or the repeated words. In my third sentence of the example paragraph above, I originally used ‘simple’ twice. I overused the word ‘issue’, and the ‘A similar history….in the US alone’ bit was originally one ridiculously long sentence. I had a couple more sentences that didn’t flow and I needed more diversity in the ‘article discusses/elaborates/explains’-sections of the article. I wouldn’t have caught the convoluted syntax and those repetitions if I hadn’t read the article out loud. If you change bits to adjust for flow, don’t forget to re-spell check! STEP 10 - CHECK FORMATTING As I mentioned briefly before, you need to cite your sources according to the format your teacher has specified. Do this whilst writing!!! You’re not going to know where you got that quote from by the time you’ve finished your essay. If you have to use footnotes, it’s okay to not fully format the sources yet. For style formats that require in-text, parenthetical citations, it’s easier to just do it right immediately.

These in-text citations, like MLA or APA, follow a very simple format. For Chicago, you can, for the time being, just do a simple ‘[(shortened) title/author’s name] [page nr]’, and format it properly when you arrive at this step. This is also the step where you write your Works Cited or Bibliography. For Chicago, you can ctrl+a and copy all of your footnotes, and paste those under ‘Bibliography’. From there you can easily edit them, since footnotes and bibliography in Chicago are formatted quite similarly. For MLA and APA, go through your essay and write down each source you used. Check them off after writing them in your Works Cited bit. Double-check all your commas, full stops and italics, and make sure the Works Cited/Bibliography is properly alphabetized. Quadruple-check that you provide the source for each of your in-text citations. If you leave out the author’s name when the source is the same as the previous citation, make sure that indeed properly lines up. Most citation manuals will also specify which way to format your essay. The standard ones are mostly ‘Times New Roman, 12 pt, double-spaced’, but they elaborate on how to format headings, titles etc as well. Make sure all book titles you mention in your text are properly italicised. Making sure all of this lines up is a very easy way to make your essay look professional. Before your lecturer has even read a single word, the way your essay is formatted already gives them an opinion or idea of its quality. Make sure this first impression is a good one. STEP 12 - REREAD THE ASSIGNMENT’S REQUIREMENTS Have you included everything your lecturer told you to? Did you add those images? Format it the way it was specified? Do you have to add an abstract? Did you answer each of the questions the lecturer asked? Are you sure? Are you really sure? Very carefully reread the instructions, and then reread them again, es69


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pecially if you aren’t familiar with the professor and their wishes. Adjust your essay if necessary, and if you do, don’t forget to go through steps 8 and 10 again. Also note if you have to hand in your essay on paper only, or via the hand-in programme of your institution, and does it have to be .pdf or .doc?

able as an ebook. Since digitising books and articles is expensive and time-consuming, only using electronic sources will introduce a bias in your essay. Use alignment justify. It’s literally one click of a button and it makes your essay look so much more professional.

STEP 13 - HAND IN!!!

JSTOR Understanding Series is SO HELPFUL when it comes to many, many things. For the Congrats!!! You have finished your essay! You Shakespeare plays, you can go to any one line in a play and see all of the academic articles have checked everything, converted the essay to the proper file type and checked if that that cite that specific line! It has similar helpful conversion went correctly. Now you can hand links for the AKJV, the US Constitution, Franin your essay and take some rest. Or write kenstein, The Importance of Being Earnest on that other essay for that other course. If and much more British and American literature. I know one thing about studying literature, it is that there’s always another essay to write. Use ctrl+f to find words you KNOW you use Good luck!!! often. I do this all the time with words like ‘however’. This way, you can visually see how ---------------------------------------------------spread-out those words are, and if you have to replace some of them for variation. https:// PRO TIPS www.onelook.com/thesaurus/beta/ is a helpful website to find synonyms. Find an interesting source that is not at all relevant to the topic you’re researching? Book- Use ctrl+f ‘replace all’ to replace all double mark it for later reading, stay on track with your spaces with single spaces. Sometimes you research now! accidentally press the spacebar twice, or you get a double space after moving sentences I know it can be a bother, and it’s less relearound. This clears that problem up nicely! vant when you’re still an undergrad, but don’t Make sure it actually replace ‘ ’ with ‘ ’, not discount the books that are in the university with nothing. library! They’re a wonderfully helpful resource, and not all books are digitised/availPages

Wordcount MLA*

Wordcount Chicago incl. footnotes*

Wordcount Chicago excl. footnotes*

1 2 3

350 720 1115

370 685 1025

180 440 665

4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1500 1885 2260 2640 3006 3355 3710

1340 1710 2020 2340 2670 2970 3245

870 1185 1455 1750 2050 2340 2600

* Based on random essays I’ve written, alignment justify, times new roman 12, double-spaced. 70


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Fantastic Beasts Production & News

Since the recasting of Grindelwald due to Johnny Depp’s lawsuit, not much has been leaked by the cast and crew, not even an official title! However, with production having wrapped up in late July, news has finally surfaced. Mads Mikkelsen had an interview with GamesRadar, and he said that he believed that the story was good, and he enjoyed working with everyone. He was the new guy on set and that meant that he didn’t have the bonds that the others had, showing that he is the only new face added to the film at this time, but very few of the cast members have been revealed, and we don’t know who else may have been added to the amazing cast. He also knew that he couldn’t put in a Johnny Depp level of intensity, which did not suit J.K. Rowling’s Grindelwald. Mikkelsen went on to tell GamesRadar he had to make the character his own, and many fans are eager to see Mikkelsen’s interpretation.

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In a separate interview, Dan Fogler hinted at the movie

having some parts take place in Brazil in 1939, just before the start of World War II. This is a huge leap in time from The Crimes of Grindelwald, which took place in 1927. However, as this is only a five-part series, time jumps such as this are to be expected on their way to the famous battle between Dumbledore and Grindelwald in 1945. The last film ended with Grindelwald using fear to gather followers, some of which were Queenie and Credence. Still, there is hope that things will come out alright, since Newt’s Niffler stole the blood pact that keeps Grindelwald and Dumbledore from hurting each other. Still, we don’t know what Grindelwald has been up to for a decade, and some speculate that perhaps Grindelwald helped in the rise of Hitler and the Nazi party, not that it makes the events of WWII any better.

Fantastic Beasts 3 began reshoots in August. It will hit theatres on July 15, 2022.


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Draconian Existence By InformalStudio6 <3

Once upon a starry night A dark haired girl was born She came into the world shining oh so bright Though her family was rather forlorn With a scar across her heart And three upon her brow With gritted teeth her kinfolk played their part But cursed her in the dying lanterns glow Growing up she said, 'I want to be an astronaut' But her family kept no faith in her For all they cared, she could rot So she thought, 'Why not'? Old dreams aflame Later she said, 'I want to be a doctor' But they rolled their eyes and locked her, Along with her hopes and dreams And used damp cotton to stifle her screams Her evanescent name Eventually she whispered, 'I want to die' But no one heard except for her demons that lie 'Forgetting you wouldn't take more than a week, Or maybe two or three' She was alone And she was in pain Oh how she'd grown While others stood stranded in times unknown Ancient at 13 years of age Nothing could provide her solace From the war raging inside of her And external enemies banding together She dreamed of running away But the chains of obligation held her down With mood painted an everlasting gray In despair she did drown They say that on the last day She seemed rather happy And whispered to her beloved 'I'm finally getting a reprieve' Little did they know It was the ultimate release In death, she finally found peace

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By InformalStudio6

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I hear whispers of your ghost. They call me out on my feeble goodbyes, They're the parasites, I'm the host.

Pretty White Lies

They echo off of the cold, dark walls, Of this dungeon I built. I wallow in my bucket of misery, Somehow it still doesn't wash away the guilt But it drowns me, chokes me, stifles me, Till all that's left is these Pretty White Lies. And sometimes when I close my eyes I hope they never open again. For every time I look at your face, something shrivels up and dies This existence just isn't worth the pain. My broken bits stain these cold, dark walls, Of this dungeon I built. I could cut open my skin all day and night And drown in all the tears I spilt They surround me, choke me, stifle me, Till all that's left is these Pretty White Lies. And sometimes when I close my eyes, I hear different whispers But the haunted screams defeat the soft cries And blow them into mere cinders They cling onto these cold, dark walls Of this dungeon I built They fight against the dark and dread But there is no light in this path that I tread Once, they gave me hope But it got drowned, stifled and choked For now I know that hope is just another Pretty White Lie.

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Of a Linear Circle – Review by Eldis_

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magine, if you will, a 15-year-old Harry Potter, sitting in the Dursley’s spare room, counting down the days till his birthday.

Imagine, if you will, a man suddenly appearing in his room the moment midnight passes. Imagine, if you will, this person offering Harry an option to fight Voldemort without losing, without dying, without his friends and family suffering more than needs be. Imagine, if you will, Salazar Slytherin not being the evil racist history has portrayed him to be. After enjoying Swung by Seraphim, which I reviewed in our Summer 2021 edition (see pp. 29-30, red.), I was curious to read more from this wonderful author. So I started reading Of a Linear Circle, intrigued if slightly hesitant after reading its summary. Little did I know I was about to be hooked. (One of these times I will learn not to start a ridiculously long fanfiction during the busiest deadline period of the year. This time was not that time.) Of a Linear Circle is barely an AU set in J.K. Rowling’s wizarding world, but rather more an original tale borrowing names and base concepts from the books we all know and love. As opposed to Swung by Serafim, a story much more anchored to the pre-set magic system, this story takes many, many (many) liberties, as the nature of the plot requires. Changing the names in this fanfiction would, although the concept of ‘a British wizarding school founded by two witches and two wizards’ would, of course, still be very familiar, result in a

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story that could easily be independently published without the label of Harry Potter attached. Since we know barely anything about the Hogwarts Founders, Flamethrower’s interpretation and presentation of them is as good, or, more accurately, better than any other fan-interpretations found online. With this liberty comes the added wonder of not only seeing inside the heads of the known active Harry Potter characters – originally primarily Snape – but also inside the heads of other figures, who are either OCs or so barely mentioned in the books that they are OCs in all but name. Whilst I am usually not the biggest fan of OCs in any fanfic, these are wonderfully executed and walk the story-world as if they were part of it all along. Now, though this might be seen by some of you as a minor spoiler (although I would argue, what do you expect from a story with a title like that?), I do have to state this: I don't like time travel. I didn’t really like it in PoA (although it is semi-decently executed there), I don’t like it in Endgame and it is the main reason I haven’t watched Doctor Who or Outlander, even though I would otherwise be their perfect target audience. Yet I did enjoy Of a Linear Circle. This story is one of the very few stories containing time travel I genuinely enjoy. They are out there, they’re just very sparse. Well, except for this one, since I would barely call a 1,877,916word story spread out over 10 books and 1 novella, ‘sparse’. Why did I like this story, where I don't so many others? Because it very responsibly deals with the single act of time-travel that happens in it, and, as the title suggests, everything that happens has always happened. No butterfly effect to be found.


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This is, of course, not the only reason I enjoyed reading this story so much I gave up quite a bit of sleep to continue reading it. The plot – and the prose it is written in – is absolutely wonderful. Flamethrower’s characters are so dynamic, emotional, funny and real that the story feels alive. There are plenty of fun references to the books, foreshadowing is done in an unobtrusive manner that makes you realise that something is foreshadowing at the exact right moment, and the characters are actually genuinely smart, which I always very much enjoy. There is little as frustrating as annoyingly stupid characters ignoring easy solutions to their problems (although a truly good Idiot Plot is still a lot of fun, of course). The story-world, like that of Swung by Serafim, is wonderfully deepened and extended, with some nice extra dimension added when some SbS easter-eggs appear in Of a Linear Circle. Flamethrower, in their characteristic way, pinpoints exactly the missed opportunities of the main series and emphasises wonderfully that this is a world where magic is real, so why are certain things that shouldn’t be problems, still problems? Another reason I adore this story so is because it is the most well-researched piece of fiction I have read, possibly ever, without it feeling like a lecture, an academic text or an overenthusiastic ‘tell not show’-author who is just so hyped to share everything about the world they have created that their story feels more like an encyclopedia of their fictional land rather than a plot-driven narrative. Whilst I understand that not everyone is looking for a subplot about medieval European political and socio-economic intrigue or constant linguistic jokes throughout the story they are reading, I – being the nerd I am – absolutely revelled in it. Whilst this story is indeed certainly not a recommendation for those uninterested in medieval history, the plot itself reigns the story,

making it enjoyable for those less enthusiastic than I am about the time period it is partly set in as well. Don’t worry, the story primarily takes place during Voldemort’s first and second wars against British wizarding society, although the latter in a drastically different way than the manner in which J. K. Rowling presented it to us. It is an AU, after all. It changes for the better though: I mean, it involves Voldemort’s face being cut open by one of the characters. Absolutely amazing, if you ask me. There are, however, like any story, some ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ to me recommending this fanfic to you. If you’re a big fan of a morally good Albus Dumbledore, this story might not be for you. Additionally, whilst there are very few major trigger warnings within the story, they often aren’t clearly marked or, if they are, only mentioned in the endnotes rather than the starting notes of a chapter. General trigger warnings I can share here are murder, mentions of rape and abuse (though no detailed descriptions) and memory loss. If these warnings pose no problem to you, however, I highly recommend reading this series. The books are registered on Goodreads, so they will count towards this year’s reading challenge. Although, as of writing this, the Ao3 series page says the series is unfinished, each of the 11 works within it is. I do not know if Flamethrower will publish a 12th work as an added epilogue, but the main story is completed, so there is no need to worry about being left on a cliffhanger. If you like character-driven, well-researched stories with lots of wit but also lots of genuine emotion, Of a Linear Circle is the right series for you. Search for ‘Of a Linear Circle flamethrower’ on Google or AO3, or follow the link or QRcode included in this article, and enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028

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The Kite:

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A Short Story Written by u/Zelda_Cat34

the moment. Jack scrawls what he has to say down on a piece of scrap paper, tucks it in an envelope, and dashes to the mailbox just as the mailman is collecting the mail. “Thank you, young lad.” The mailman says. “You’re welcome, sir.” But just as he said it, Jack felt a cold chill course down his spine, as if someone were watching him. Where had he heard this man’s voice before? Jack dashed into his house, satisfied that he had avoided the strange mailman’s petrifying glare, forever watching and waiting in the shadows. But little does he know, it has just begun…………….. Jack waits, and waits, and waits…...knowing it cannot be that the mailman is a double agent and actually someone he had seen on the news, such as a newscaster or any of

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ne day, Jack was flying his kite in the park, when all of a sudden a gargantuan gust of wind rippled through the air, and blew Jack’s kite into one of the many unsuspecting redwoods nearby. “Just my luck,” Jack thought drearily. “ I’ll never be able to retrieve my kite now.” So Jack goes home, defeated and disappointed from the day’s upsetting excursion. The next day an idea strikes him, almost identically alike to lightning striking a rod of metal. “I’ve got it!” He exclaims. “I need to contact the fire department because they have long ladders that could probably reach my kite! And I shouldn’t call them so they don’t think it’s a 911 emergency!” He decides on that course of action, standing strong and firm in his ideas, as always with his other various ingenious ideas that he occasionally formulated on the spur of

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Art by KackelDackel


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those vermin reporters that slunk around in the shadows of every famous persons’ encampment ever.

“Wow!” Jack says.“He did all that on the front. I wonder what the inside says. I’d better find out.” He gently peels the Navy blue seal on the front of the envelope and unfolds the envelope to read.

He also couldn’t be that Shadowman guy that was in all of those ComicBooks that Jack’s late father gave him; and Jack idenIf you would like to know what the envelope tified everyone as one of the characters, says on the inside read on. but somehow that mailman didn’t quite fit in with the ComicBook ‘in’ crowd. All these ‘We cordially accept your plea to remove thoughts sent a horrible chill down his spine. your kite from the treetops. It has come Jack tries to forget, but unremembering is to our attention that you are a very not an option for some unlucky people with dedicated environmentalist, and that if photographic memory, just like unfortunate Jack; at the moment. you leave a kite, almost especially a plasJack keeps on waiting until even the mere thought of waiting becomes excruciatingly painful. The minutes turn into hours, which turn into days, and even those turn into weeks, and finally those trickle slowly into months. He thinks that it is not possible that the fire department would ever take as long as this.

tic one as your’s is, up in the treetops of the redwoods, some natural decomposer will decompose it, as a decomposer’s job is obviously to decompose, and furthermore the decomposed fragments will pollute the earth further than it already is.

Best Wishes on the upcoming environmenAfter several months, when it is the twentieth talist rally, and hope to see you there, of December, he at long last gets something Yoru Egnaiya Kaa, next in line as Your in the mail addressed to him. The front of the Royal Highness of Japan, where the Zabienvelope reads, an Cherry Blossoms grow and the purest ‘ For Jack Rider at 845 East Penny Lane water flows. Zip Code: 6443 Northwest Jordan, Oklahoma. If Jack is not home when this envelope P.S. I know all those things in there that are Confidential Information bearrives, phone or text to tell me about his absence, and I will call him. My company cause I am formally courting your mother, and wish to propose. And yes, I did number is 837-015-2479, but if my secretary doesn’t pick up to your liking, you may say I was officially courting. You need to call my cell, which is 992-573-0182. If you still keep up with the new old, Jack. Don’t be so outdated. I would like you to guess can’t reach me, go to my house, which is my age, and then compare it with your on the Brooklyn Estates street, and the mother’s; you will be astounded by the house numerals are 7439. The house name difference. Are you alright with that, is Willikin’s Manor.Thank you.’ Young Jack Quuzong Rider? Because she is alright with that and plus I know your 79


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The next day, Jack confronted his mom once she arrived from her desk job at Delta Dental, as she was an insurance major in col lege. First, he asked her, “ Do you need help “That was quite an immersive letter, wasn’t with your purse and water bottle? It seems it?” Jack thought to himself.The other things like such a big load for you to be carrying he thought simultaneously were, “Such neat with your on and off pained back and hips.” handwriting,” and, “Where have I heard his His mom replied, her eyes darting to the side name before?” as she spoke as if she were indicating a lie about to be told, “I’m not carrying anything That night, Jack was pondering to himself, that I normally don’t carry, but thank you when a memory replayed in his head, and he for the generous offer. In hindsight a few knew it was a correct match. It was something moments later she said, “Hey, you’re never he had seen on the news, and it involved that offering me any help regularly. What do you Yoru Kaa guy his mom was oddly dating. Yoru need?” She remarked rather frankly. was on the Municipal Board! The newscaster “Well, nothing much, I just would like to had said, “ Little known fact, but Yoru is acknow why you’re dating that stalker, Yoru tually next in line to the throne in Japan. And Kaa. He wants to propose to you, by the he’s coming on right now!” We’ll be back after way, and sent me a letter telling me he knew a word from our sponsors. exactly where my kite was and where I lived, and my entire name, and he was slightly “Okay, introducing the infamous, the threatening me. So, if you still really want to only, Yoru Kaa!” The newscaster exuberdate him, I mean, go ahead. I won’t be ofantly bellowed. fended or upset at all.”

second middle name is George Windley. Goodbye for real this time. ‘

“Yoru is here today to speak with us about the crisis of littering.” Under his breath, the newscaster said to Yoru, “When I nod my head, you may speak.” Yoru begins to speak. He says, “ I believe that the majority of littering is contributed through children, which scatter play toys such as kites and jump ropes all along public facilities.’’ It felt like an ice cold fist had barrelled him in the stomach. “How could Yoru do this to me, with Christmas just five days away?” He grumbles, on the verge of despair. But, right when he is about to give up, a glimmer of hope peeks through the increasingly thickening veil of darkness. If Yoru is dating my mom, then Yoru must be obliged to get me a present, so maybe all this hatefulness is just a part of the present scheme. I certainly hope that is true. 80

“Oh, sweetie, let me see this letter. It sounds like we might have to call off the engagement, now wouldn’t we?” “WHAT, MOM!!???!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!” “Hey, calm down. It was just preliminary arrangements. No finances were involved.” “ Oh my gosh, Mom, what, just what, do you see in him?” Jack decided to write a letter to Mr. Kaa himself . It read,

‘ Mr. Yoru Kaa, I know my handwriting isn’t much, but neither are the best of us. It has come to my attention that the engagement is called off. Furthermore, I would like to know the real reason behind your letter response, and if it is a present, please inform me before I call the cops on you. -Jack Rider’


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As instantaneously as Jack would allow it, the response arrived. He carefully removed the Navy blue seal , even though he dearly wanted to rip open the envelope to decipher its contents. The long due message proclaimed,

very soon. -Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Jack Rider P.S. Is that really my name?’

‘ You are actually 17, but your name is cor‘I am truly sorry about the wait and how rect. Smart decision about the throne; I’ll impolite I was. It is because your mother arrange it. Would like to meet with you and wanted me to hide the gift I am giving you Lila as well. How about next Sunday at 12:30 in an odd way. But I cannot blame all of it in your house? Less conspicuous that way. on her. It is I, and only I, that must abdi- -Yoru Kaa’ cate the throne and pass it down to you, ‘Let’s definitely meet up there. I’ll inthe rightful heir to the throne. You see, your mother and I are not actually dating. form Lila. That was a cover-up. You are my cousin, as -Jack Rider’ your mother is my cousin, and that makes Jack told Lila right after he put that exact letthe two of you brother and sister. Her ter in the mailbox, and she agreed it was best and your mother, in her will, clearly stated to meet up at their house instead of Yoru’s, because the press knew where Yoru lived. that she wished your sister, Lila, be your When it was Christmas day, they all got tocaretaker until you were of suitable age to take over the throne in my stead ,in- gether at the Riders’ house and celebrated that they had gotten past the family secrets stead of me caring for you. This was going right before Christmas. Yoru said, “ You do to be your gift, but now it is going to be realise, Jack, that since you abdicated the throne, you receive bonus money to relieve your known gift. Just less anticipation. If you want to abdicate the throne, or make all the trouble you went through, in the form of $5,555,555,555,000 cash.” it so there is no throne at all, tell me ASAPFYTS, which stands for, ‘ As soon as “What?” Jack said, spurting out all the Sprite possible for your tight schedule…..’ ‘ he was drinking. “Yeah! It deserves cele-

bration!” Lila exclaimed. “Cheers!” They all clinked glasses, ending the nearly perfect day on a high note.

Jack was astounded; he did not know that he was royalty, but he did want to abdicate the throne, or make the throne unavailable so the ----------------------------------------------------------------------------reign of Japan would not fall into the wrong Read more next year in the sequel to The hands. He wrote back immediately. Kite……….

‘Interesting that I am royal. I want the throne to be nonexistent so it won’t fall into the wrong hands. If I have already come of age, as you wrote, is 13 my true age? Would like to meet with you and Lila

Hope you liked my book! Merry Christmas! I dedicate this book to all my amazing family and friends out there.

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I Wrote

(by u/iguerr. Translated from Portuguese)

I always saw him with the same cheerful glance.

The name I don’t remember.

The same wandering pace.

Not his, the other one’s, the one who was the director of the school. The one who a few months ago was in a lower position and got promoted, the one who had been getting higher and higher since he joined the institution; he always had a smile on his face, always feeling good, he was very extroverted.

The same confident pace.

His name I also don’t remember. But it doesn’t matter.

Waiting for people to pass by so he could go on with his work. Making people stop to let him pass. With his mop. Sitting in the office full of papers. They looked alike.

His name I never knew. He was the one who worked in cleaning.

I couldn’t help but notice the similarity.

They looked alike.

I wrote.

The other one was the one I always saw in the restaurant, with one of those mops. His face didn’t express joy, no extroversion. It was a sad apathy. His white uniform. His glasses. The first one didn’t wear glasses, I think. Only this one. Glasses for no one. For No One. 82

I always saw him with the same melancholic glance.

*** About this poem: This came from a real observation I made of how alike two workers in my school were, one worked cleaning the restaurant and the other was among the higher-ups of the direction of the school. I always think it might not make sense for anyone who reads it, but that was a curious observation I made and that maybe some people will be able to relate to it.


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Paper Mayhem Part 1 by Eldis_ Yes, I know my office is a mess.Yes, I know that is uncharacteristic of me! But it’s not my fault! You see, earlier this morning I spotted what turned out to be a Rowenalis Lazuli. I remembered that I had researched something about this (see pp 78-9 and 86-7 of our Summer 2020 edition), so I attempted to summon my notes on this wonderful creature. I had, however, completely forgotten that ‘any spells cast in the vicinity of the Rowenalis Lazuli will be thrice as powerful’. Whereas this usually only occurs when the spellcaster intends to use the butterfly-like bug’s power, it seems that this one was in a playful mood and granted me the power instead. Do not worry, the creature happily flew off and seemed to be in good health, and I immediately sent an owl to Beelde Zearing, informing him of the anomaly. But back to the topic at hand: the spell turned out thrice as powerful, summoning not just the papers containing my research on the Rowenalis Lazuli, but also the random scattered notes of my colleagues in the Quibbler Tower. So now ‘returning all of this junk’ has been added to my already too long to-do list. Oh well, before I do that, a little peek into the private notes of my colleagues certainly wouldn’t hurt, right?

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Oh, I hear someone knocking! That must be Mr Zearing. I’ll come back to the notes next time! 85


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THREAD (by u/iguerr)

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opened the air vent. It was round, composed of an iron piece in the shape of a plus sign, with three screws and a thin grid (which I took off). As I pointed a lantern into the hole in the wall, I could see something. I put my whole arm in the hole, only just reached it, and could feel it was some sort of cloth. I grabbed it and took my arm out of the hole right away to discover I held lingerie in my right hand. Under the tons of dirt caked on, it was a light color (one could see it was pinkish), very soft, and ripped in some parts. I was so into the piece of cloth I held in my hands that I didn’t even realize I was moving away from the wall; or maybe I didn’t move away at all, as I distinctly remember to stay stone still just looking at each rip, each dirt smudge, each dark stain the cloth had. But when I got out of the trance, I was some meters away from the wall I was right in front of just a second prior. I realized something while unconsciously pulling at the lingerie. It was unraveling. The thread seemed to be coming from that hole in the wall. I pointed the lantern to the wall again but could not see well since there was a heavy mist about the whole place. Changing tact, I pointed the lantern back

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to the cloth I held and followed the thread closely, inch by inch. I then realized the fool I was making of myself. All that time spent commenting on how stupid it was for the people in those movies to be following tracks so closely they could not see the killer standing right before them… only looking up when they were already too close to run away. And here I was, looking so closely I wouldn’t be able to see a demon with its head leaving the hole of the air vent on the wall if there was one. And I was afraid there’d be one. “And– Scene!” The girl said in mocked over drama after having finished the monologue. The teacher and her classmates chuckled as they applauded. “The monologue is a bit different from the version you gave us?” The teacher said waving the paper he held, asking for the girl for further commentary on the changes. “Yeah, um, I– we, me and my pair,” she pointed at the corner of the room, where I was sitting, “decided to make a few changes, for no reason really.” That was my cue.


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I cleared my throat. “Um, yes, this monologue was something I wrote a while ago, so there are a few language mistakes here and there. At first we were going to keep it like it is, you know, be faithful to the original nature of the text, with all of its flaws. But then, at the last minute, we decided to make a few changes and making the needed corrections ended up being one more reason for the changes. But you can notice we didn’t change much.” “Interesting,” the teacher said. “Well, we haven’t any more time for today so let’s wrap it up. For next class I want you all to think about editing an old text. What do you think of it; is it valid; when is it valid, when it’s not; etc.” Everyone in the room grabbed their things to leave. “You coming?” My partner asked me. “In a second. You can go.” I replied cause my desk was a mess and I didn’t want to make her wait. A few moments later I turned the lights off and left the room. It was late, around 23:00, the corridors were all empty. But I still had my mind on that monologue and didn’t pay any mind to my surroundings as I wandered slowly, looking at the floor and still pondering on the mistakes in the monologue. At first I agreed with handing out the original version, but right after that I regretted the decision, because the more I saw the mistakes the more I felt ashamed of having committed them, always thinking those were silly things I should’ve known when writing the monologue in the first place. That reminded me of the task for the next class. When was it valid editing an old text? For me always. I always edited the things I wrote as soon as I spotted some flaw. Before anyone else had a chance to read it and spot them themselves and think of me as stupid. That’s when I noticed something on the floor, a few meters away from where I was, in the middle of the hallway. It was a piece of cloth. Could this be some silly prank? Someone making fun of the monologue I wrote? I went on walking and when I came closer to it I noticed a thread leaving the cloth and going on down the hallway until it took a turn and passed beneath a door to a classroom. I followed it and was about to

open the door when something made me stop. A feeling. An uneasiness with what could be waiting for me on the other side. That’s when I heard a loud noise from the inside of the classroom and knew I had to run for my life. I ran and ran, turning right then left then right again then again right then another left. I didn’t know or care where I was going, I just knew I had to leave that place, but I couldn’t find the exit. Every turn I took always led to another hallway with more turns. I couldn’t recognise where in the building I was. Then I remembered I wasn’t on floor level, but there were no stairs around. The noise had been following me all along so I knew I couldn’t stop running. I ran more and more until I got to the end of a hallway that didn’t have any turns, only doors. I tried the one at the end of the hallway; locked. The one to the left; locked. The one to the right; locked. The noise behind me is growing louder. I turned to face whatever was coming at me, but the louder the noise got, the more lights went out, coming closer and closer to where I was. I just remember falling to the ground right before the lamp right above me, the last one on, went out. When I woke up I was in a bright place. A hospital room. There was someone near my bed. A doctor. He approached me and asked how I was. I asked what had happened. He said that was what he was hoping to figure out with me and that he was going to ask some questions and was that okay. I said yes. He asked what happened at the school. Then I remembered the darkness and the cloth on the floor and the noise and the running. I felt something wet on my ear and when I touched it I discovered it was blood. I felt my legs ache due to all the running. I said I didn’t know what had happened at the school. Then the doctor said something that didn’t make any sense. He said there was a video caught by the security cameras of me leaving the theater room, then stopping in the middle of the hallway, staring at the floor. Then running from one end of the corridor to the other and back again, and again, and again. Until I get to one end and finally stop. He said I opened the doors around me but didn’t enter any room. There is something he didn’t say though. Maybe he didn’t notice it, or didn’t think it was relevant at that moment, but he forgot to mention the look I gave the camera before collapsing to the ground.

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t’s hard to believe that the first Harry Potter film entered our lives on November 14, 2001. That’s right, the first film will be turning 20 years old this year. So, what will be happening this year in the Wizarding World? Well,

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there are a number of Harry Potter experiences around the U.S. and the U.K. to allow fans to enjoy the fandom in person. But what is being done to celebrate this occasion?


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Well, first, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Sorcerer’s Stone in the U.S.) is getting a Magical Movie Mode on August 17 of this year. It comes with several things.

ents/guardians must fill out applications for anyone 14 to 17 years of age. You can apply at http://harrypotterquizshow. castingcrane.com/ to sign up to be a contestant.

• filmmaking secrets • spell incantations • trivia and quizzes • fun activities • curiosities • special features • director’s commentary from Chris Columbus • deleted scenes • special graphic and audio features

Tom Ascheim, President of Warner Bros. Global Kids, Young Adults, said, “To celebrate our dedicated fans who have passionately kept the Wizarding World magic alive in so many forms for decades, these exciting specials will celebrate their Harry Potter fandom in a mustsee multiplatform TV event. All Potter fans can gear up for this ultimate one-of-a-kind celebraAll of this adds up to a more magi- tion by embracing their inner cal experience than ever before. Hermione Granger and studying their Wizarding World knowlBut that’s not all! HBO Max, edge. For fans who have always Cartoon Network, and TBS will wanted to discover what it air a quiz-based competition. might be like to take the O.W.L. It will be four one-hour-long exams, this is as close as they segments and take place over are going to get!” four days. Fans can tune in and Two amazing ways to celebrate enjoy the fun of participating with contestants on the show. the 20th Anniversary, with more to come! So keep a lookout! Contestant hopefuls must be at least 14-years-old, and par-

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Fascinating Fashions and Where to Find Them by XanCanStand

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e’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of global folk fashions, with a mountain of gorgeous clothes still sitting at our feet to be examined and exalted! Come join me on this cultural dig where we’ll celebrate the guises and get-ups humanity garbs itself in all around the world, in the hope of drawing us closer together, feeling the itch to go out and see these wonders for ourselves, and perhaps add a little flair to our daily wear. Prost!

Kimono Know-How

On the small but mighty island nation of Japan is a traditional outfit whose international reputation is as ubiquitous as the sari. The kimono, a name that means “the thing worn”, is a set of straight-cut, full-length robes or dresses which are tied at the waist with an obi. Kimono colors denote different meanings but it is the color of the obi that is especially important. Hana asagi is the blue of the sky and the sea. This dye was made from the juices of pressed dayflowers. Blue is a lucky color, one that stands for fidelity, coolness, passivity. There is also the dark blue ai, otherwise called Japan blue. Its dye was made from fermented indigo plant leaves mixed with water. Indigo dying had many added benefits beyond simply looking stunning: it would make fibers more resistant to wear, repel insects, and block UV light. For a long time, the word ao meant both blue and green. Nowadays green is midori, though the old term still persists as well. Green represents peace and calm, and also energy and vitality. One of the most traditional hues of green is called matcha iro, literally the color of matcha green tea. Kihada is a shade of bright greenish-yellow created from the inner-bark of mandarin orange trees, then combined with lye to produce a tint. This dye was also an effective insect repellent. The hue connotes the harvest season and is regarded as a noble color.

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In the past purple, called murasaki, was a forbidden color to wear. The color purple used to be very rarely seen because it was difficult and took time to make. It needed to be extracted from shigusa, which is very hard to grow. It also required a lot of effort to dye, blended with vinegar and lye. As such, it was reserved for the upper class and imperial family and stood for royalty and status. Red, or aka, has a long history in Japan. Their oldest earthenware and other wooden artifacts are painted with a lacquer called sekishitsu. In old graveyards, pictures are painted with an Indian red made of iron oxide. This red was meant to protect the body from evil. A highly common red is the one on the Shinto shrine gates, called akani. Each shrine uses a slightly different red which protects against rust because of the cinnabar mercury in it, and was intended to also be a protection from evil and disaster. A sacred color, red represents life’s vitals: the dawn, fire, and blood. Taking its name from a mythological ape-like sea spirit with a red face and a taste for wine, the vivid vermillion dye Shōjōhi is derived from the cacti-chomping cochineal bug. The same pigment is still used in many of today’s makeups and food coloring. Momo-iro is a pink color associated with the spring. Named for its resemblance to the peach blossom, this fuchsia hue—pale with a hint of yellow—comes about through a combination of plum vinegar and reduced safflower dye. White is called shiro in Japanese. Since ancient times, as in many cultures, the color white has been a symbol of purity in Japanese culture. It was closely linked to the spiritual world. Even today, Shinto priests and their female helpers wear mostly white garments. White used to also be the color worn during funerals and mourning and was rarely worn outside those circumstances. Black, or kuro, is traditionally a masculine color in Japan. It has often been used for the samurai class, and is still used to this day for men's wedding attire and for the boys’ festival Kodomo-no-hi. The oldest use of the color black in Japanese culture was in tattoos. In ancient times, Japanese people, especially fishermen, would get wide birds or fishes tattooed to


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FASHION QUIBBLER protect themselves from evil. Like white, black is also a color of mourning in Japan. Wooden condolence gifts are often tied in envelopes stringed in black and white. Shinto priests wear black caps above their white garments, as a symbol of enlightenment. Many phrases consist of the Japanese word for black such as “clarifying between right and wrong“ or “rolling one’s eyes in surprise, fright or anguish”. The color denotes non-being, mystery, night and anger. Additional symbolism that a kimono wearer might want to display as an announcement of their characteristics would come from designs and patterns. Putting cherry blossoms on the garment spoke of beauty and the transience of life. The bellflower evokes unchanging love, honesty and obedience. The plum blossom was a protective charm against evil, representing longevity, renewal and perseverance. A drum means joy. Ivy growing over a drum signifies peace. Shippo is an infinitely repeating circular design representing the seven jewels or treasures from the Buddhist Sutras. Cranes (tsuru) are believed to live for a thousand years and inhabit the land of the immortals, symbolizing longevity and good fortune. A pair stood for a happy marriage. The first description of clothing worn by the Japanese people dates back to the 3rd century. According to records, Japanese men of that time wore kanfui, one piece of cloth wrapped around the body over one shoulder, and women wore kantoi, a sleeveless outfit. In fact, this kantoi was the prototype of the kimono. Each kimono is made from just one long roll of fabric. The common size of a kimono fabric roll is 0.38m × 13m. The kimono fabric roll is divided into eight parts (two sleeves, front body part, back body part, etc.), and each part is sewn using mainly straight line stitches. Traditionally kimonos are sewn by hand and even machine-made kimonos require a lot of hand-stitching. They are still worn today for special occasions in Japan such as weddings, with modern adaptations making an appearance all over the world. They are beautiful, vibrant articles which speak to the passion and goodwill of its people.

If the Shúkà Fits

The Maasai people of the drylands along the Great Rift Valley in southern Kenya and northern Tanzania number about 1.2 million. They wear dress that is recognized around the world. Shúkà, the Maa word for “sheets”, are a sort of blanket traditionally worn wrapped around the body. It is known to be durable, strong, and

thick — protecting the Maasai from the harsh weather and terrain of the plains. The sheeted garments are typically a brilliant red, sometimes mixed with other colors and patterns like plaid or flowers, and will likely include intricate beadwork. The young men may sport long, ochre-dyed hair. And more of their amazing beadwork will be displayed as colorful bracelets and necklaces. Shúkà are actually a somewhat recent development. The Maasai wore leather in the more distant past but began to replace calf hides and sheepskin with commercial cotton cloth in the 1960s. In fact, the Maasai cloth is said to have been brought in by Scottish missionaries during the colonial era. The Africa Inland Mission was established in 1895, and until 1909 Kenya was its only operation. Thus shúkà cloth is a distant cousin to the kilt, and bears a strong resemblance to the Scottish plaid and tartan patterns. One-piece garments known as kanga are also common. These are of a lighter material, usually about 1.1m × 1.5m, and the rectangular shape and patterned layout put one in mind of a flag. They are nearly always made up of three design elements: the pindo (a wide border on all four sides), the mji (central symbol on a different pattern to the border), and jina (a proverb or saying written in Kiswahili most likely, featured on a strip of the cloth). It is not formal wear but a utilitarian piece of everyday cloth and it can be used as a skirt, head-wrap, towel, apron, pot-holder, and much more. Kanga get their name from the Swahili word for the plumage of the guinea hen. On the coasts, Maasai people will wear a sarong called a kikoi. It is made of cotton and patterns are woven rather than dyed into the fabric. As with all sarongs, it is a single piece of cloth which a wearer wraps around the waist, and folds in the excess fabric from both sides to the front center, where they overlap and secure the sarong by rolling the upper hem down over itself. Outside of their intended use as a sarong, kikoi can also be used as a sling to hold a baby, as a towel, or as a head wrap. Shúkà are now a global phenomenon seen on catwalks of fashion shows and in magazine spreads, and their patterns are incorporated in urban wear and on handbags and other accessories. These bright and hardwearing sheets are stunning ambassadors for the formidable warriors who display them in their customs. Where in the world will we watch what we wear next?

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s a pastoral romantic/wanderer, in addition to having a lovely hobby of looking after both magical and non-magical (the conceptual positivist notion of every being having the magic of its own aside), I felt the necessity to express my love and gratitude for our dear beloved mother earth (the chronology of today being the last day of COP26 is merely a coincidence, procrastination is open to debate as always).

A Letter to Our Beloved Mother Earth

Roses are red; tree trunks are brown; our planet yet survives; there’s no reason to frown. At least not until 2030; let’s be optimistic and assume that. My optimism comes from my recent nature walks and discoveries that I have done in a particular Western European country, very far from my origin. Nature itself makes me realise that every part of our globe is unique and just as precious as its own. Therefore deserves the uttermost care and conservation. I mean, even though Generation Z might not have been spending time in nature compared to the previous generations. This difference stems from technological and socioeconomic factors. For example, overpopulation, which led to more urbanisation and less natural habitat. Nevertheless, cities like Amsterdam and Oslo follow the Doughnut Economic model proposed by the famous economist Kate Raworth. At least we might have some hope. The struggle of lack of environment is an issue that seems not to be going anywhere soon in the near future. On top of my rather pessimistic view derived from the harsh reality, it would also be wise to consider the recent human-nature relationship that has been evolving throughout the 20th century, since mainstream development from the 1960s that passed certain stages mirrored the changing economic and political dynamics. Considering the usage of nature adds up crucial perspectives that would enrich the analysis on the point for the necessity of more natural inclusion in our daily lives next to my inner motivation to claim so. My informal and rather simplistic underlying message by “the recent human-nature relationship” can be supported by the heavy demands of dogs and cats compared to the other animals which form the current domestic animal market embedded in the neoliberal system, which arguably can be classified as an exact representation of the current economic system. The reason for me to make this claim is because of the very presence of a market that involves a living being. Similar other examples are the current meat industry, which is under heavy fire by all environmentalists from 101


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all around the globe due to the rather unsustainable ways of the production of the supply side, in this case, the reproduction of the animals, which involves genetic alteration to prevent natural occurrences such as the natural process of growth for the chicken. In addition, the production also contributes to the CO2 emissions next to the only nice at the taste, lacking the richness of necessary beneficial and healthy ingredients products.

Apart from my somewhat negativist stance, this relationship also differs for the different groups of society. Some environmentalists and activists would be deemed and describe themselves to be even more romantic than me. By “romantic”, here refers to a moment of thought called “Romanticism”, which emerged in the late 19th century in London. This ideology praises the rural way of living. Romanticism draws parallels between Luddism, which can be traced forward to the Post-development way of thinkBriefly, both examples are proofs of an unhealthy ing more recently as a criticism to the mainstream trade-off, both from an ecological and social sense. understanding of development centred around ecoLike meat production, dogs and cats and other annomic growth. Therefore, their experience, awareimals like certain fish and birds are likewise being ness, and interaction with nature might cause a difreproduced to meet the demand and sometimes ferent way of evaluation for this group. Nevertheless, to create excess supply. When there is excess supthe majority of the people who have the monetary ply, and during reproduction, animals are subject means, therefore, people who form the global middle to unnatural reproduction and human-influenced to upper class, it is not logical to deny the megatrend breeding processes, not as the same as there should of buying dogs and cats as a hobby. It is a necessity have been natural processes. that leads to the self-hype of Furthermore, it is more importthose people to call themselves " Nature itself makes me realise “nature lovers” while at the ant to identify the roles in the market; there are customers same time supporting the insect that every part of our globe is (animals “enthusiasts” (!)), spray industries by purchasing unique and just as precious as its sellers (pet shop owners) and the products to “fend off” the own. Therefore deserves the utanimals as products. Do you see “little disturbances” from their where I am going with this role termost care and conservation." dining tables. assignment? Yes, I would like to raise an ethical question: is this Despite my awareness of the human-animal relationship right? Or to make it broad- bigger picture (hopefully), there are so much more to er by adding another example from the kingdom of see and discuss and come up with new suggestions plants: monocropping has been a widespread prac(the whole purpose of academia). For instance, would tice throughout the last six decades, which influential a new economic model like degrowth or circular thinkers like Max Ajl heavily criticise due to the less economy lead humanity to a new understanding of resistance of plants to diseases and the role of this nature? is a question that many “pastoral romanagricultural production technique in the global food tics” like are longing to find out in reality. Regardless production, a system which I can simply summarise of what happens in the future, I am thankful and a in one view: a system with highly unequal distribution devote supporter of nature to bring all humanity new of food in which in some countries like the US, obesity insights and perspectives to see the world around us is a disease whereas, in every six-seconds, a child and enrich our lives. Oh, and before I forget, thank dies of hunger in Africa. I have given this example to you for tolerating us for more than a millennia. Since indicate that plants have also been mistreated for the the time we started to cut down trees to make oursake of more rapid and efficient production to keep selves accommodations, especially in the last few the wheel turning. The Treadmill of Production theory decades when we “grow” relentlessly without even provides an underlying conceptual explanation or a minding the planetary boundaries causing environsuggestion for all of the examples I have given so far. mental degradation. I hope we can make it up to you To conclude my argument here with a broader quesin the future; my fingers are crossed. tion: is the current human-nature relationship right?

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- Rhia1

Diagon Alley is amazing for us witches and wizards, but muggle fans can now go to Harry Potter New York. Fans will find anything and everything Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts related under one roof. From books to treats to robes and more, there is everything one can imagine here. While the outside must adhere to strict guidelines, the inside is amazing! A basilisk head, a giant time-turner, and a speciality statue of Fawkes hanging from the entryway ceiling are just some of the decorations one will find inside! And that doesn’t even begin to describe the place! Props from all seven films and the Fantastic Beasts series will be on display as well! And photos! You can get a picture from the Ministry Phone Box to the inside Hagrid’s boot! Those who have the Harry Potter Fan Club app will be able to experience even more as they will find enchanted keys and be able to unlock more surprises around Harry Potter New York. The keys can only be found inside the store. Gold Membership, with the most perks, cost $74.99/year. Silver Membership is free. Harry Potter Fan Club is what Pottermore’s original profile experience, but with more added to it since integrated with the Wizarding World site and brand name. And then, of course, you can enjoy two VR experiences. Based on the books, fans can either enjoy Chaos at Hogwarts or Wizards Take Flight. Both should not be missed. Chaos at Hogwarts allows any who enter this VR experience to see what being a student at Hogwarts is like. Up to six people can experience this at one time, and you start out at King’s Cross Station and travel to Hogwarts. What’s more, you follow our beloved Dobby around the magical school, learning spells and secrets. You will have a special avatar and you will see the avatars of those that travel with you as well. Wizards Take Flight is an experience that takes place above the streets of London. Again, up to six people can enjoy the experience and you will see each other’s avatar. The differences start even before you begin as you get your own broom to ride! Instead of Dobby, you follow Hagrid. You also battle Death Eaters and explore the skies around Hogwarts! Tickets were available for purchase from July 15 to August 15, but now, you must wait in line. Those with virtual tickets will be able to jump to the head of the queue. When visiting, please adhere to the New York Covid-19 restrictions, for your safety and the safety of everyone around you.

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British and Irish Quidditch League Standings Appleby Arrows

• 10-2 • Winner of the Josef Wronski Award for Excellent Pitch Skills

Ballycastle Bats

• 4-8 • Entire team at St. Mungo’s for injuries sustained in final match • Investigations of illegal wand use in final match still pending

Caerphilly Catapults

• 5-7 • Fastest captured snitch of the season (17min02sec)

Chudley Cannons

• 2-10 • 129th season without winning the League Cup

Falmouth Falcons

• 6-6 • Longest match of the season (22days04hours35mins18sec)

Holyhead Harpies

• 9-3 • Beater Sylvia Trancer awarded Dangerous Dai Llewellyn Commemorative Medal

Kenmare Kestrels

• 0-12 • Worst season in Kenmare History • Manager Allen Compote’s threats of disbanding the team are not considered serious. 112

Montrose Magpies

• 6-6 • Demands for rematch due to “Aethonan stampede” ignored, snitch catch call stands

Pride of Portree

• 13-0 • Won League Cup

Puddlemere United

• 7-5 • Biggest blowout match of the season (640-30)

Tutshill Tornados

• 5-7 • Allegations of illegal broom tampering still plague the team despite its middling record

Wigtown Wanderers

• 2-10 • Longest match of the season (22days04hours35mins18sec)

Wimbourne Wasps

• 11-2 • Lost League Cup

The Department of Magical Games and Sports would like to thank all those who have followed along this season, we hope for another great set of matches next year!

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HOGWARTS HORror-SCOPES Madam Starflash Sees what (mis)fortunes will befall you this (holiday) season! Okay, so Madam Starflash is completely and utterly out of ideas. Please accept this list of Muggle Media recommendations for your sign, courtesy of your fellow Hogwarts Redditors, who were absolutely not blackmailed into helping. CAPRICORN THE THESTRAL

TAURUS THE WEREWOLF

VIRGO THE UNICORN

(DEC. 22ND — JAN. 19TH)

(APRIL 20TH — MAY 20TH)

(AUGUST 23RD — SEPT. 22ND)

BOOK: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas MOVIE: The House With a Clock in its Walls SHOW: The Masked Singer SONG: ‘Wolf Totem’ by The Hu Credit: /u/ElysiumAtreides, Hufflepuff

BOOK: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling MOVIE: Inception SHOW: The Office SONG: ‘Apologize’ by One Republic Credit: /u/spludgiexx, Ravenclaw

BOOK: The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman MOVIE: Legally Blonde SHOW: Ru Paul’s Drag Race SONG: ‘Supersonic’ by Caravan Palace Credit: /u/iSquash, Ravenclaw

AQUARIUS THE KELPIE

GEMINI THE VEELA

LIBRA THE DRAGON

(JAN. 20TH — FEB. 18TH)

(MAY 21ST — JUNE 20TH)

(SEPT. 23RD — OCT. 22ND)

BOOK: A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray MOVIE: Ladybird SHOW: 90 Day Fiancé SONG: ‘W’ by Koffee Credit: /u/billiefish, Hufflepuff

BOOK: 11/22/63 by Stephen King MOVIE: The Invention of Lying SHOW: Squid Game SONG: ‘No Children’ by Mountain Goats Credit: /u/Marx0r, Slytherin

BOOK: Alice Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll MOVIE: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty SHOW: South Park SONG: ‘Dirty Paws’ by Of Monsters and Men Credit: /u/McKenzie_Angels, Hufflepuff

PISCES THE MERMAN (FEB.19TH — MARCH 20TH) BOOK: Circe by Madeline Miller MOVIE: Swiss Army Men SHOW: House, MD SONG: ‘Presumably Dead Arm’ by Sidney Gish Credit: /u/Sameri278, Hufflepuff

ARIES THE HIPPOGRIFF (MARCH 21ST — APRIL19TH) BOOK: The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan MOVIE: The Princess Bride SHOW: Glee SONG: ‘Dark Blue’ by Jack’s Mannequin Credit: /u/Rackik, Gryffindor

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CANCER THE FIRECRAB (JUNE 21ST — JULY 22ND) BOOK: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins MOVIE: ‘Hook’ SHOW: Only Murders in the Building SONG: ‘Lego House’ by Ed Sheeran Credit: /u/saraberry13, Slytherin

LEO THE SPHINX (JULY 23RD — AUGUST 22ND) BOOK: The Song of the Lioness by Tamora Pierce MOVIE: Disney’s Hercules SHOW: Wandavision SONG: ‘Team’ by Krewella (Explicit Content)

SCORPIO THE VAMPIRE (OCT. 23RD — NOV. 21ST) BOOK: Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston MOVIE: The Eternals SHOW: The Good Place SONG: ‘Touch-Tone Telephone’ by Lemon Demon Credit: /u/wywy4321, Ravenclaw

SAGITTARIUS THE CENTAUR (NOV. 22ND — DEC. 21ST) BOOK: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir MOVIE: School of Rock SHOW: Bob's Burgers SONG: ‘Hunter's Moon’ by Ghost Credit: /u/Forsidious, Slytherin


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HELP WANTED

While at Florean's today I noticed a tall, auburn-haired wizard - you had ordered a triple fudge sundae, with mini chocolate frogs on top. The book you were reading at the countertop was ""Death by Chocolate,"" I'm...dying to know how the book turned out and if I might borrow it. Please contact, send an Owl to the Cottage by the Lake. I'll be waiting.

My muggle neighbor keeps asking me questions I don't understand and I'm worried she's getting frustrated. 3 Knuts to come help interpret, hopefully a Muggleborn or someone else familiar.

BUSINESS/OFFERS Hair Treatment Potions & Amulets Xanthe Yates Haville Barn Tythecott Lane, Frithelstockstone A.A. Avon First in Fine Jewelry 109 Diagon Alley Wynch & Tugg Movers No Job Too Cumbersome and Laborious! Madam Taperwick's Candle Co. Someone has to make them

Hello my name is Cassian Foster and I am in need of some assistance on a temporary basis. Much needed organizational work with enormous job satisfaction I assume. Long commute. Delayed payday. Umm . . . unusual work environment? Okay, here’s the deal, I’m in Azkaban and I need someone to come visit me three days a week. I’ve been wrongfully accused of committing a series of poisonings and I plan to represent myself in my appeal but I need some help with the evidence and testimony gathering, law and precedence research for establishing arguments and taking dictation of such, filling out and filing forms, as well as some light housekeeping duties. Twelve hours of work per week split among three days of your choice with schedule set at least a week ahead of

time, must provide own transportation and parchment and quills and owl and cleaning supplies and Wizengamot Law Books and Ministry of Magic Appellate Council paperwork and stool/chair if unable to remain standing for four hours at a time. Must be able to lift up to 40lbs without assistance. Previous legal work experience preferred. Payment of 3000 Galleons and all the meat pies you could want upon my acquittal. Serious offers only. And don’t worry, the Dementor guards have been replaced by wizards.

REAL ESTATE Hawthornthwaite Fell Over Wyresdale, Lancaster 42000 Galleons Devenish Island Enniskillen, Northern Ireland 33000 Galleons Trades Considered

Pottamon Trainer Wanted! Our Aileroink has been chewing on the legs of furniture and is struggling with basic obedience, we'd really like an experienced hand to help us get back on track Reach us at Bourton Vale, Lower Slaughter, Cheltenham

Contributors: bubbasaurus, PenelopeAutumn, XanCanStand

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LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORTS BREAKING NEWS: MLE is pleased to announce live reports of some of these logs on Wizard radio station, "Twitch.tv/powergamersdandd" every other Friday at 6:30PM PST MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT PATROL:

DEPARTMENT OF INTOXICATING SUBSTANCES

◊ 10/4/21 6:35 PM - Report of strange noises coming from an abandoned shed. The source was discovered to be a large doxy infestation. Aurors on site referred the case to the DRCMC.

◊ 11/24/21 4:02 AM - Aurors sent out to investigate a noise complaint from the Quibbler offices. The source was a racuous birthday party in progress. 60 drums of illegal firewhiskey were confiscated and the staff were issued a stern warning.

◊ 10/31/21 7:24 PM - 10 teenagers were cited for engaging in the muggle practice of pumpkin smashing. DEPARTMENT FOR THE REGULATION AND CONTROL OF MAGICAL CREATURES: ◊ 11/1/21 8:45 AM - 30 smugglers were arrested trying to pass off bubotubers as "crunchy turkeys".

◊ 11/25/21 11:38 PM - Multiple young witches and wizards had to be escorted to St. Mungos mid morning due to a mishap with euphoria inducing gravy. No serious injuries reported. IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE ◊ 11/25/21 4:33 PM - A wizard was alleged to have turned his uncle into a rutabega during a heated Thanks-

giving argument. While being taken into custody the wizard was quoted saying, "Honestly this isn't even a punishment. Thank you." ◊ 10/19/21 12:11 AM - An elderly witch was arrested for transfiguring a young muggle girl's pumpkin into a carriage. Sources say this wasn't her only instance of illegal transfiguration. An investigation is in progress. DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES ◊ dsfsfsdfsdfsfsfsdfsfsdfsjkhsdaf hsakfhsdkjf ◊ sldkjflsajflsadfj sldteioueoigdnglkfjlsfjsfjlksjflsjflsjfs;lkjdsk;jfsl;fmndv,mnvmn,vx,cm ◊ Boop. ◊ sjdflsjflsjflsdfjlsfjlsflsdasjlf snkjagf hslfjlsdjfsfjlsjflsjfl.

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The Minister of Magic and The Head of Magical Law Enforcement would like to thank the Auror Headquarters, Wizengamot Administration Services, Hit Wizards, Investigation Department, Ministry of Magic Witch Watchers, Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects, and all others that keep our world safe.

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Dark Arts

The Prestigious and Most Private Diary of Dolores Jane Umbridge: Summer 1995

Author: silvertail8 Layout: overanxiousowl Illustration: SinsationalDoom Photos: "Yarn" by b0red via pixabay • pixabay.com/vectors/ball-yarn-knit-knitter-craft-2136167/ "Rope" by alexdisenolaser via pixabay pixabay.com/vectors/rope-loop-line-art-round-circle-5979560/ "Book" by VictorianLady via pixabay pixabay.com/illustrations/scrapbook-blank-diary-journalbook-1345381/ "Cat" by LediciaDesign via pixabay pixabay.com/vectors/cat-kitty-outline-icon-kitten-icon-5673879/

Marked by the Dark: Teenage Dreams Author: neeshky Layout: 7ustine Illustration: 7ustine

The Final Writings of Famed Diarist Archibald Rivista

Author: neeshky Layout: KackelDackel Photo: "Black Pencil on White Paper" by Miguel A. Padrinan via Pexels • www.pexels.com/photo/black-pencil-on-white-paper-68562/

For the Love of Thestrals: Diary of a Mad Man Author: auntieabra Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: KackelDackel

The Fan Club

Author: silvertail8 Layout: AnneSeelmann Illustration: SinsationalDoom Photo: "Fan" by OpenClipart-Vectors via pixabay • pixabay.com/vectors/air-cooling-fan-movementpaper-2027318/

On the Origin and Creation of the Whomping Willow Author: Vinumcupio Layout: anne_seelmann Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Divination

Basics of Tarot Reading

Author: auntieabra Layout: 7ustine Illustration: SinsationalDoom Photo: "Decorative Borders" by 7089643 via pixabay • pixabay.com/vectors/dividers-calligraphy-flourish-4869416/

Tarot Lessons: Justice Author: auntieabra Layout: 7ustine Illustration: patatas0

Tarot Lessons: The Empress Author: auntieabra Layout: 7ustine Illustration: patatas0

Ask Madam Starflash

Author: starflashfairy Layout: Anne_Seelmann Contributors: rimeofthekikimaiden jumatsuga

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QUIBBLER CREDITS

Education

Essay Writing 101: How to Write an Argumentative Essay for Literature Studies Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Photo: "Vintage Typewriter" by Devanath - via Pixabay • pixabay.com/photos/typewriter-vintage-old-1248088/ •

"Laptop" by StartupStockPhotos - via Pixabay pixabay.com/photos/student-typing-keyboard-text-849825/

Pottamon, Gotta Catch 'Em All Author: Eldis_, /r/Ravenclaw Layout: 7ustine Illustration: Mathy16

Entertainment Draconian Existence Author: InformalStudio6 Layout: KackelDackel

I Wrote

Author: iguerr Layout: KackelDackel

Paper Mayhem - Part 1 Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Eldis_

Revés

Author: iguerr Layout: Sinsational Doom Illustration: SinsationalDoom

The In Between

Author: iguerr Layout: SinsationalDoom Illustration: SinsationalDoom

Thread

Author: InformalStudio6 Layout: KackelDackel

Author: iguerr Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: iguerr

Fantastic Beasts 3 Production and News

20 Years of Magic

Pretty White Lies

Author: Rhia1 Layout: Anne_Seelmann Illustration: 7ustine

Of a Linear Circle - Review by Eldis_ Author: Eldis_ Layout: KackelDackel

The Kite

Author: Zelda_Cat34 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: KackelDackel

134

Author: Rhia1 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: 7ustine

Fashion

Fascinating Fashions and Where to Find them Author: XanCanStand Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: 7ustine


CREDITS QUIBBLER

Winter Art Wall Golden Veins

Illustration: MadHatter5045

Two Way Parting Illustration: iguerr

Reflected Tree Illustration: iguerr

Smoke and Benches Illustration: iguerr

Smoke and Benches (Black and White) Illustration: iguerr

Hazy Walkway Illustration: iguerr

Hazy Walkway (Black and White) Illustration: iguerr

Balcony at Night Illustration: iguerr

Foliage in the Sun Illustration: iguerr

Christmas Decor Illustration: iguerr

Magical Plants and Creatures #teamseas

Author: Eldis_ Layout: 7ustine Illustration: Eldis_

A Letter to Our Beloved Mother Earth Author: Ukpikjuaq Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: 7ustine

News and Features

Harry Potter New York is Open! Author: Rhia1 Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: Permagrinfalcon

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. I Am the Most Beautiful of All Author: Skilik Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: KackelDackel

Sports

British and Irish Quidditch League Standings Author: XanCanStand Layout: KackelDackel Illustration: KackelDackel

135




All Articles were Written by Quibbler Staff and Owned by Special Conspiracy Productions Productions except ones that are noted. For use of any articles in The Quibbler, Please contact Special Conspiracy Productions Copyright ©


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