May 13, 2011

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View from YU Page 3 Where’s Hillary? photo fiasco Page 7 Double Hebrew please Page 20 Guest voices: Helicopter parenting Page 8

THE JEWISH

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VOL 10, NO 18 ■ MAY 13, 2011 / 9 IYAR, 5771

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School Board

Library Board

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Dr. Asher Mansdorf

I have been privileged to serve on the Lawrence School Board for the past 10 years. I am proud of that public service; I am proud of the Board of Education’s many accomplishments in the Lawrence School District; and I am optimistic about where we can continue to go to advance the mission, the goals and the effectiveness of public school education in the Lawrence area, and beyond. Because of what I have been able to learn on the School Board, I am a strong believer in the vital importance of public school education for the benefit of our larger community. Public education can work. Public education must work. And, when public education works well, we all benefit from its success – whether our children are part of the public school system, or not. Quite simply, I strongly believe that the success of our public schools determines the success of our society – since the overwhelming majority of our society’s children are educated in our public schools. The better and more comprehensive their education, the more likely they are to become active, productive and rewarding members of our society. And that is a goal

Murray Forman

It is my sixth year as a trustee, fifth year as a President and was a concerned resident prior to being elected six years ago. I extensively attended meetings and thought that I would have a lot to contribute to the board. The record of the School Board speaks for itself. The guiding principle has always been educational excellence with fiscal responsibility. Especially in light of the difficult fiscal times we find ourselves in, the district is in a strong financial position. We’ve completed an extensive capital improvement program, enhanced programming while having an essentially flat tax levy for the past six years. I stand by our record of accomplishment. There’s not a district on Long Island that can point to the accomplishments of the LawContinued on page 2

Vote Tues. May 17 7a.m. to 10 p.m. ■ Number Two School ■ Lawrence Middle School ■ Lawrence High School ■ Number Six School ■ Atlantic Beach Village Hall

Jeff Leb

I am a long-time community advocate now running to transform the board of the Peninsula Public Library. I am happily married for 11 years and live in Cedarhurst with my wife, Esther, and our four terrific children who attend local yeshivas. Currently, I work for the Sephardic Community Federation, a public policy organization, and am Secretary of TEACH NYS – the only organization dedicated to helping ease the tuition burden on private school parents. I volunteer for several different organizations including Project Mazon, a program which I co-founded that provides quiet assistance to families in need by subsidizing their weekly grocery bill. My professional career began with Salomon Smith Barney. I worked in the Corporate Tax Division and was the liaison between Salomon Smith Barney and the IRS. It was there that I really learned how to gauge the financial stability of an initiative or company. After working there, I worked for New York City Councilman James F. Gennaro. My responsibilities included overseeing the Councilmanic operations and determining the best course of action to maximize the fiscal, social and cultural opportunities of the 24th Coun-

Continued on page 2

Sarah Yastrab

The library is a unique institution in that it is a place where everyone in this community can come together. I decided to run for the Library Board to help make it a place that everyone can be proud of. In my professional life, I have worked with people of different age groups, different backgrounds, and different levels of ability and disability. That experience, together with my experience as a mother, and a 12year resident of the Five Towns, uniquely enables me to represent the needs of this community. Since the library is funded by taxpayer dollars, I would like to see transparency in where the money is going. It is time for the library to embrace the technologies of the 21st Century, and deliver service to our taxpayers in creative modern ways.

Library vote is Tuesday, May 17 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Polling places are the same as in the School Board elections.

Continued on page 2

Shabbat Candlelighting: 7:45 p.m. Shabbat ends 8:51 p.m. 72 minute zman 9:15 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Behar

Counting is said on the evening before the given dates.

Thursday .................. May 12 Friday .........................May13 Shabbat ................... May 14 Sunday ..................... May 15 Monday .................... May 16 Tuesday .....................May 17 Wednesday .............. May 18

23 Omer 24 Omer 25 Omer 26 Omer 27 Omer 28 Omer 29 Omer

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Continued from page 1 with which no one can really argue. We are struggling with the cost of providing quality education for our students; we struggle to attract and retain the highest quality teaching staff; we struggle with the cost of our school buildings, our gymnasiums, our laboratories, our transportation systems, our daily classroom maintenance, our extra-curricular programs – and we are seeking new and different creative ways to deal with those funding issues. I am confident that as we move forward together, we will broaden our children’s educational horizons and overcome the challenges that education faces in these most difficult times.

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Continued from page 1 rence School District. We run a full day Pre-K, our buildings are in state of the art shape, we have new science labs, new athletic facilities and the district is debt-free – no bond debt. We truly provide educational excellence with fiscal responsibility.

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Jeff Leb Continued from page 1 cilmanic district in Queens. I also worked for the Mayor’s Office of Management and Budget, determining the best ways to optimize the revenues for the City of New York while minimizing the City’s expenses. I’m running to reform the currently ineffective Peninsula Public Library. The budget for the Peninsula Public Library is paid for by the taxpayers of District 15. Several million dollars go into the Library each and every year. Where is this money going? I don’t know, there is a severe lack of transparency in the budget. I would like to have a forensic accounting audit performed on the library and find out exactly where the money is going. We, as taxpayers, have a right to know. Once that is revealed, I will work on behalf of my constituents to make sure that the library budget is used in the most effective and efficient way possible – maximizing programs that will be used by our youth and seniors and cutting out waste and inconsistencies in the budget. Sarah Yastrab and I can turn the library into the incredible institution that our community deserves.

For school board and library board results visit www.thejewishstar.com

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May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Yeshiva University students, faculty and staff honored the memories of Israel’s fallen soldiers and victims of terror at Yeshiva University’s annual Yom Hazikaron (Israel Memorial Day) ceremony on May 9 and celebrated Israel’s 63rd birthday on Yom Ha’atzmaut (Israel Independence Day) on May 10.

Photos courtesy Yeshiva University

Conservative Jewish hechsher in question By Sergey Kadinsky The kashrut of milk can vary depending on personal standards, with some Orthodox consumers relying on USDA supervisors, and others on a stricter Jewish supervision called Cholov Yisroel. Recent efforts to examine the labor, animal welfare, and environmental policies of food manufacturers have resulted in a debate about their role in the kashrut of food. “One has to be concerned about the workers when buying a food product. Everyone was disturbed by Postville,” said Rabbi Andrew Warmflash of the Hewlett-East Rockaway Jewish Center, a Conservative synagogue. Rabbi Warmflash said that most of his congregants keep kosher at home and are looking forward to seeing the Magen Tzedek on food packages by the end of this year. Proposed after the 2008 mass arrest of illegal immigrant workers at the Agriprocessors facility in Postville, Iowa, the new Conservative hechsher seeks to encourage ethical practices in the kosher food industry. While the hechsher would be distinct from food supervision, its early slogans were slammed by Agudath Israel, a leading Orthodox advocacy organization. “The goal of ‘Magen Tzedek,’ however, is nothing less than to redefine kashrut,” the Agudath Israel statement writes. “The brazen effort of Magen Tzedek to change the Jewish mesorah, or religious tradition, should come as no surprise, considering its source.”

The hechsher on the right is Orthodox, and on the left is Conservative. Both seek to address workplace, animal welfar,e and environmental practices of food manufacturers. Within three days of the Agudath Israel statement, the Rabbinical Assembly of the Conservative movement blasted the condemnation as misleading, citing the biblical and rabbinic commitment to fair treatment of workers, humane treatment of animals, and care for the earth, as part of the religious tradition. Nevertheless, local Orthodox rabbis expressed concern that these commandments may be confused with commandments related to food production.

“Someone who uses food that fits the Magen Tzedek mold will have a pure heart, but not a kosher pot,” said Rabbi Yossi Mendelson of Forest Hills. “Were the Magen Tzedek to promote itself as a ‘social issues’ endorsement unrelated to kashrut, we would not object to it. It’s touting itself as ‘kashrut for the 21st century’ that makes it objectionable,” said Rabbi Avi Shafran, the public affairs director at Agudath Israel.

Sticking to social issues in food production, a similar seal, the Tav HaYosher, was also developed after the Postville case by Uri L’Tzedek, a grassroots organization that promotes social justice causes in the Orthodox community. “Tzedek supervises factories, we supervise restaurants. We speak to the workers and examine the payroll every few months,” said founder Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz. So far, the “ethical seal” counts 80 establishments in 10 states, with plans to expand to Great Britain. While the Agudath Israel statement argues that governmental regulations are responsible for this issue, Rabbi Yanklowitz said that the lack of enforcement merits the need for Jewish supervision. “Years can go by before a site is inspected, there is a crisis of enforcement. Grassroots efforts will elevate the kosher industry,” Rabbi Yanklowitz said. “The violations are so rampart that enough enforcement is needed here.” While Tav HaYosher keeps its wage and working conditions within the bounds of legislation, the Magen Tzedek takes pride in taking a higher standard, citing the Rambam’s recommendation to go “beyond the letter of the law” in observance. “Government standards are political because nobody wants manufacturers to go out of business, but are there enough benefits and time off for workers? We don’t think the government standard is enough,” Rabbi Warmflash said. “This is a much higher standard.”

THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

View from YU: Remembrance and Joy

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Celebrate Israel Parade Sunday, June 5! The largest event in the World celebrating the Anniversary of Israel’s independence!

to 74th Street. The Parade will take place from 11 AM to 4 PM, Rain or Shine.

Participants will include:

Local participants include:

■ Some of the area’s best marching bands ■ Over 20 decorated floats ■ Street performers, artists, musicians and

dancers ■ Over 100 schools, colleges, civic, religious and community groups ■ Special guest appearances to be announced Parade Route on Fifth Avenue and Time Span: The Parade begins at 57th Street and goes

Photo of the Week

■ Hebrew

Academy of the Five Towns and Rockaway ■ Hebrew Academy of Long Beach ■ Hebrew Academy of Nassau County ■ Mashadi Youth Committee ■ North Shore Hebrew Academy Middle School and High School ■ Rambam Mesivta / Shalhevet High School for Girls ■ Shulamith School for Girls ■ Brandeis School

Followed by concert in the park The annual Israel Day Concert in Central Park is celebrating its 18th year, with the themes of keeping Jerusalem eternally united, opposing land concessions, standing up to the Iranian government, and supporting the relase of Jonathan Pollard and Gilad Shalit. The Concert will be held at Central Park’s Summer Stage, located near the park entrance at Fifth Avenue and 72nd Street. The five-hour concert begins at 2:30 p.m. regardless of weather conditions. Theis free event follows the Salute to Israel Parade. Special

performers include Avraham Fried, Shalsheles, Shalsheles Jr., Avi Peretz of the Uri Bitton band, and Jerry Markovitz, among others. Deputy Knesset Speaker MK Danny Danon will be speaking. There will also be a special appearance by David F. Nesenoff, publisher of The Jewish Star, which is a sponsor of the concert. Kosher food available supplied by Aron’s Kissena Farms. Anyone interested in sponsorship opportunities should contact 917-650-5623, to have your name added to the elegant Concert Poster, displayed in this week’s issue.

Israel beck-ons for political pundit

Fox News Channel commentator Glenn Beck visited Israel last week, taking tours of the Old City of Jerusalem and Yad Vashem. The outspoken Israel supporter also sought to ascend the Temple Mount, but Muslim authorities protested his presence. The radio talk show host settled for the southern steps of Har Habayit, where he took a break to meditate. He broadcasted his radio show from the King David Hotel on May 10. If you have a photograph with a description, from local or afar, please submit to: newsroom@thejewishstar.com

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THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

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May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Opinion Palestinian President Abbas’ Fatah party is moderate and other childhood fantasies

W

hile growing up we all believe in fantasies. For years my son believed that there were monsters under his bed at night, my daughter believed that a unicorn would show up for her to ride away. Both of them believed in the tooth fairy (there was one of those, but it was only their dad in a costume.) Part of the growing process is that we realize that these childish myths are not real by any means. Surprisingly there is one childish myth that many otherwise intelligent adults cling on to. That’s the myth that Palestinian President Abbas’ Fatah is moderate. People ignore what Abbas’ party says and does, clingPOLITICO ing on to the myth that they TO GO want peace. Allow me to suggest you are more likely to look up into the sky and see a winged flying horse with a single horn than see a moderate Fatah. Allow me to give you an example. During the 2009 Fatah convention, senior Fatah member Rafik Natsheh announced that their group will never recognize Israel, and will continue to call for war against Israel. “Fatah does not recognize Israel’s right to exist, nor have Jeff Dunetz we ever asked others to do so.” Fatah has never stopped performing terrorist acts against Israeli citizens, Fatah claimed credit for the recent attack in Itamar Israel where two terrorists slipped into the house of the Fogel family, murdered both parents, two of their sons and slashed their infant daughter’s throat. Only they didn’t call it Fatah. Like most terrorist groups Fatah has a scam that governments and media buys into. It’s called a “military wing.” Fatah’s military wing is called the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades. Whenever they carry out a new attack on innocent civilians, it is the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades who carries it out. The group is part of Fatah, but because they have a different name Fatah gets a pass. It would be like President Obama getting on the television to announce that the United States’ “military wing” was responsible for killing Bin Laden. The Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades has another role, to make the more radical statements so President Abbas can preserve his role as a faux-peacemaker. Therefore Abbas did not say anything about the death of Bin Laden, his “military wing” handled it for him. They released a statement to MAAN news (a Palestinian News Agency) saying Bin Laden was a martyr called his killing a “catastrophe.” And those who killed Bin Laden were “gangs of heretics.” “The path irrigated with the blood of its leaders

is the path of victory, Allah willing. If Abu Abdallah [Bin Laden] was killed, then he merited the shahada (death for Allah) which he had sought, and inscribed with his blood the landmarks of jihad, leaving behind an entire generation that follows the path of Sheikh Osama.” They said: ‘The military wings of the jihad fighters in Palestine and outside of it, who have in the past lost many of their commanders and their men, will not stop. This has only strengthened their determination, their resolve and their loyalty to their shahids [martyrs] who have turned their words into a reality testifying to their honesty, and which in fact bolsters the drive and the strength of their brothers on the path to victory or shahada. “We say to the American and Israeli occupier: the [Islamic] nation which produced leaders who changed the course of history through their jihad and their endurance, is a nation that is capable of supplying an abundance of new blood into the arteries of the resistance and is capable of restoring the glory of Islam and the flag of Allah’s oneness.” Now that didn’t sound very moderate to me. In fact it sounded very much like Hamas, which is recognized as a not so moderate terrorist group. As the NY Times reported their statement: “Hamas officials here condemned on Monday the American operation that killed Osama Bin Laden, with Ismail Haniya, the leader of the Hamas government, calling it a “continuation of the United States policy of destruction.” Ismail al-Ashqar, a Hamas lawmaker, described it as “state terrorism that America carries out against Muslims.” There in that statement lies the reason why Fatah may be even more dangerous than Hamas. Hamas doesn’t try to hide its intentions, both its political and “military arms” (yes they have one of those also) are honest in their hatred of Israel. Fatah, on the other hand tries to show its moderation through its political arm, but its true intentions via Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades. Sadly most of the world believes there is a difference between Hamas and Fatah, but as the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades proves that belief should be filed in the same place as other childhood fantasies. Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog “The Lid” (www.jeffdunetz.com). Jeff contributes to some of the largest political sites on the internet including American Thinker, Big Government, Big Journalism, NewsReal and Pajama’s Media, and has been a guest on national radio shows including G. Gordon Liddy, Tammy Bruce and Glenn Beck. Jeff lives in Long Island.

THE JEWISH

STAR

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David F. Nesenoff Sergey Kadinsky Helene Parsons Zelig Krymko Hy Spitz Sandi Stanger Rabbi Avi Billet Jeff Dunetz Samuel Fisher Rabbi Noam Himelstein Alan Jay Gerber Zechariah Mehler Aviva Rizel Ariel Rosenbloom Alyson Goodman Christina Daly

2 Endo Boulevard, Garden City, NY 11530 Phone: 516-622-7461, Fax: 516-569-4942 E-mail: newsroom@thejewishstar.com The Jewish Star is published weekly by The Jewish Star LLC, 2 Endo Boulevard, Garden City, NY 11530. Subscription rates: $9 per quarter on a credit card in Nassau and Far Rockaway, or $48 a year. Elsewhere in the US, $15 per quarter or $72 a year. Newsstand Price: $1. Copyright © 2011 The Jewish Star LLC. All rights reserved.

Where is Osama going?

“W

here am I? What happened?” Osama bin Laden asks. A clerk of the Angel of Death replies, “You are dead.” Osama is confused. “How could that be I was just sitting in my home in Pakistan planning the bombing of the American transportation system and having tea with my 15-year-old wife. This must be a mistake.” The clerk looks over his paperwork. “No, there’s no error here. A group of American SEALS entered your compound and killed you.” Osama is shocked. “I remember something, but I don’t understand how this could happen. I was living footsteps from the Pakistani military headquarters, right outside of Islamabad, the capital of the country. I had my own video studio and hi tech communication center. And why do I have the strange sensation that my body is being chewed apart by scavDAVID’S HARP engers of the sea? And if I am dead then where are the 72 virgins that are supposed to greet me?” The clerk explains. “The G-d of Israel is the true Almighty. He has tried to bring justice and love into the world with His commandments. He has given the Jewish people the Land of Israel and they have allowed all people to inhabit there and visit. Haven’t you ever wondered why with 21 Arab countries and one and a half billion Muslims all against Israel, not to mention most of the rest of the world, that Israel not only continues to successfully defend herself but she grows every time she is attacked? Don’t you get it, you stupid piece of fishfood, that you are on the wrong side of G-d? 72 virgins? Do you even hear yourself? Did you ever stop and think David F. Nesenoff that if your heaven is 72 virgins being with you, then that must be their hell?” Osama complains. “I want the virgins! This is a nightmare. I demand what’s coming to me.” The clerk jumps in. “Actually, we will give you what is coming to you. You are slated to have the essence of your demented disgusting soul divided into infinitesimal pieces and placed back into the material world. You will be found in all farm, jungle and wildlife excrement. And we have arranged for 72 virgin flies to greet you each time.” Osama yells, “Allah where are you?” The clerk interrupts. “If you’re talking about Elokim, Hashem, He is busy shielding the Jewish children of Sderot from Palestinian Kassam rockets falling on their schools and playgrounds. Did it ever occur to you and your worldwide murderers and supporters that killing innocent people might not be G-d’s plan?” “I must speak to someone in charge immediately!” Osama is pleading. The clerk laughs. “OU and AIPAC are running things for G-d and they’re not taking any meetings right now. And besides my records indicate that you along with your 9-11 hijackers and Arafat all have an appointment with a herd of diarhetic elephants in Tanzania.” The clerk speaks into a walkie-talkie. “Cue the flies.”

Yankie & Luzer Let’s not forget Gilad Shalit.

7 THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

Haredi newspaper apologizes

In search of Hillary By Sergey Kadinsky A photograph has saddled a Brooklyn-based haredi newspaper with negative publicity, resulting in a public apology for omitting the government’s most powerful woman from a photograph. The White House has not publicized images of the Osama Bin Laden’s corpse and the commandos who assassinated him. As a result, many newspapers adopted the photograph of President Barack Obama and his cabinet watching the raid unfold on the screen of the White House Situation Room as the defining image of the event. Di Tzeitung, of Borough Park, published White house photographer Pete Souza’s photograph, but with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Counterterrorism Director Audrey Tomason edited out of the photograph. Picked up by blogs, the doctored photo went viral, receiving coverage in national media, often with the accusation that hasidism opposes having women in position of power. “To suggest that the paper removed Hillary because it has an issue with women in power is nuts,� Yossi Gestetner said. Raised in Williamsburg, the hasidic public rela-

tions consultant rushed to the Yiddish newspaper’s defense. “This was an iconic photo and the editor wanted to give the best possible coverage within the hasidic guidelines.� While the weekly newspaper does not have an official affiliation, Gestetner said that it closely adheres to the policies of the Satmar and Bobover communities. “I do not think anyone would get aroused by this photo, regardless of how dressed the women are, it is part of the guidelines.� Having worked with Di Tzeitung, Gestetner noted that the editor’s wife negotiates advertising, and that in the 2008 Democratic primaries and the 2006 Senate race, the newspaper endorsed Clinton. Nevertheless, doctoring official White House photographs within a news story is forbidden, and while the White House had no comment on the story, Di Tzeitung issued an apology on Monday. “The readership of the Tzeitung believe that women should be appreciated for who they are and what they do, not for what they look like, and the Jewish laws of modesty are an expression of respect for women,� the statement reads. The editorial board also apologized for not reading the fine print on rules forbidding alteration

of the image. “We have nothing against women being elected to office,� publisher Albert Friedman said in an interview with CNN. Friedman is running the public apology in this week’s edition of Di Tzeitung, explaining the newspaper’s modesty guidelines alongside respect for government figures. Above photo courtesy of The White House

Where is Hillary? Hasidic paper edits out women in accordance with its modesty guidelines.

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Opinion Believing is seeing I used to be troubled a lot by the question of why doesn’t G-d reveal Himself to us. If He wants our service, why doesn’t He demand faith through awe-inspiring demonstration and undeniable evidence? The response I was given time and again FROM THE HEART was essentially that OF JERUSALEM such a demonstration would make observance too easy. G-d intentionally withholds evidence of His power as a test to the struggling Jew, the purpose being that through confronting the test and taking the road of blind faith, the believer is ultimately fortified and his Judaism enriched. But the obvious Samuel Fisher logical gap in this argument involves the Jew who struggles and falls into a world of Gdlessness. It makes little sense that a loving and compassionate G-d would toughen one Jew’s faith at the expense of another’s entire

world of Judaism. A test may enhance Judaism for a narrow group but it drives the bulk of Jews away from the tradition altogether. So the question remains: Why doesn’t G-d reveal Himself through supernatural occurrences? When discussing G-d, one must assume Him to be omnipotent; the concept of supernatural intervention is actually inconceivable. This is because from our modern perspective any “supernatural” event would cease to defy nature and instead redefine it. At the end of the day, if you define “nature” as that which exists and occurs, then any existence or occurrence only becomes incorporated into next year’s science textbook. It is impossible to introduce the supernatural into a world that exists only on the natural plane while preserving any form of separation between the two. In 1927, Werner Heisenberg demonstrated that it is impossible to precisely identify an electron’s position and velocity simultaneously as it moves about the atom. Heisenberg proved (using scientific method) that man’s knowledge is doomed to incompletion. Consequently, seeing as man will never know the full scope of science, man will never be able to differentiate the mundane from the miraculous.

The closest an occurrence can come to demonstrating the supernatural is by demonstrating vast coincidence. The continuity of the Jewish people and the establishment of the Jewish State defy statistical probability to a degree that verges on supernatural. Yet, in an objective sense, Jewish history of course exemplifies nothing more than unlikely circumstance. That’s the problem with expecting G-d to show Himself with miracles. We wonder why doesn’t G-d prove his existence and win our eternal servitude by defying nature before our very eyes. But our mental limitations make it impossible for us to witness such a demonstration and appreciate its true import. Manifestations of G-d’s existence can therefore only exist in the subjective personal realm and cannot enter into objective argument. What kind of revelation could the Jews have experienced at Mount Sinai as famously described in the Torah? It is sensible to say that the Torah describes not a miracle in the conventional sense but rather a moment in which bypassed the spectacular and directly implanted an intuitive faith into each Jew’s heart.

There is an alternative to this self-conceived world without even the slightest spark of marvel. Instead of assuming all of the mysteries to be mundane elements of science, one can choose to view the world as wondrous. Until explained, let all of nature’s mysteries be miracles. Within this framework, the survival of the Jew becomes a miracle meriting infinite gratitude. In the Shemoneh Esrei, we ask G-d, “V’techezena einenu b’shuvcha l’tzion,” “And let our eyes behold Your return to Zion.” Rather than praying directly for the objective reality of G-d’s return, we pray specifically that our eyes are capable of seeing it when it occurs. We cannot take for granted our ability to witness G-d even in the most divinely inspired moments. It takes, literally, insight to visualize G-d’s image in the world. I must admit that sitting here in the heart of Jerusalem gives me a good view. Samuel Fisher grew up in Newton, Massachusetts and graduated from Maimonides School in 2010. He is spending the year studying in Yeshivat Orayta in the Old City of Jerusalem after which he will attend Harvard College.

Guest voices Helicopters and skates

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ur practice accepts interns; postgraduate students interested in a clinical internship must send us a copy of their C.V. and a cover letter. Surprisingly, many letters arrive with grammar and spelling errors. Other business IN MY VIEW leaders, education and agency administrators have voiced similar experiences. This is not surprising because on Feb. 7, the New York State Education Department reported that less than half of the graduating students in the state’s high schools are prepared for college or challenging jobs. These new statistics Michael J. show that only about Salamon 23 percent of students in New York City, half the rate anticipated, graduated ready for college or careers in 2009. Even the best dis-

tricts have rates lower than anticipated by as much as 20 percent. We often harbor the belief that building a child’s self-esteem prepares them to handle life’s challenges. We have trained ourselves and our children to believe that if they feel good about themselves they will always do well. However, high self-esteem does not translate into success, hard work does. What we are seeing is the product of years of overprotective parenting and the belief that “my child is always perfect.” The 1960s phrase “hovering parent” used to describe overprotective and indulgent parents became the 1990s “Helicopter Parents.” While some helicoptering is anticipated in grade school it often does not end there. Parents who call their children in college or even in Israel to make sure that they get up for class, parents who are in contact with their childrens’ rabbis, teachers and professors, hold false belief that they can ensure their child’s success. What these parents are accomplishing though is creating adults with a false sense of achievement but none of the tools to realize

success. These students actually learn how to “skate by” rather than do the task successfully. Listen to college students talk about how they have not done the readings or homework and still manage to get what they call “a decent grade.” Yeshiva students do the same. They will often tell you that they have “no worries” because “there are really no tests.” Children with helicopter parents become dependent, impulsive, anxious and fearful. They have difficulty making decisions and demure to others even for major life issues, even if they know that they are getting bad advice. They do this because they believe that their parents will be there to fix everything. Children who have been helicoptered often do not set goals for careers believing that their parents will set them up in a business; or worse - they will never have to work. The emotional dependencies are evidenced in marriage and other relationships where overprotected children grow to believe that they do not have to invest themselves emotionally to make the relationship work. Parents contact a shadchan and the “adults” decide who to date and marry. Parents then work out a

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fiscal arrangement to support the children and following that a job may be secured for the young man. But a few years into this pattern, the couple may start to realize that they may not be right for one another. The divorce rates are climbing. Fiscal realities require well-trained workers with intellectual and technological savvy. Teaching decision-making skills begins in childhood. Building a child’s self-esteem is important, but must take a second seat to learning responsibility. This cannot be done if parents are hovering closely or if children believe that they can just skate by. Dr. Salamon, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, is the founder and director of ADC Psychological Services in Hewlett, a board member of Ptach and The Awareness Center. His recent books include, The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures, published by Urim Publications and Every Pot Has a Cover: A Proven Guide to Finding, Keeping and Enhancing the Ideal Relationship, published by Rowman & Littlefield.

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The special beauty of Shabbos If the Torah is of divine authorship, why does it repeat itself so much? Did G-d forget what He had already written when He chose to repeat an idea? And not just any idea, but an entire verse – word for word? Compare 26:2 to 19:30 and you’ll find the exact same words: “Observe my Sabbath and revere my temple, I am G-d.” The phrase “Observe my Sabbath” appears one more time in the book of Vayikra, when it is connected to the commandment of revering one’s parents. (Vayikra 19:3) What is the connection? When one examines the last few verses of Rabbi Avi Billet our parsha, one sees a very clear reference to the first four utterings of the Decalogue: the Israelites are my avadim (servants or subjects) because I took them out of Egypt; you are not to make idols, monuments or stones for worship purposes; do not bow down to them; observe My Sabbath and revere My Temple. The commandment to honor one’s parents (as it appears in Shemot 20), or to revere them (as it appears in Vayikra 19:3) is

conspicuously absent here – it seems to be replaced by the commandment to revere the Temple. What gives? Rashi famously asks at the beginning of the parsha “What is the reason for discussing the laws of shmittah at Sinai?” The answer to this question is the subject of much homiletical discourse. But perhaps the parsha ends with a reference to the Ten Commandments to emphasize the importance and significance of the relationship between man and G-d in our lives, and how it even exists when we are discussing the laws of the shmittah and of charity and of the Jewish eved. Why is the relationship to parents, then, left out of the discussion? There are three ways we are instructed to relate to G-d: To love G-d (Devarim 6:5, 10:12, 11:1,13,22, 19:9, 30:6,16,20), to fear/ revere G-d (Vayikra 19:14,32; 25:17,36,43, Devarim 13:5), and to honor/respect G-d (Shmuel I 2:30). There are two ways we are instructed to relate to our parents: to fear/ revere them (Vayikra 19:3), and to honor/ respect them. (Shmot 20:11, Devarim 5:15) There are two ways to relate to the Temple: to revere it (Vayikra 19:3, 26:2) and not to desecrate it. (Vayikra 20:3, 21:23) We are instructed to revere G-d, Temple and parents. We are instructed to honor/respect G-d, to avoid desecrating the Temple, and to revere parents. We are told love G-d,

but are not instructed to love our parents or the Temple. I think that the repeated verse we began with is meant to teach us an important lesson, in code. Parents and the Temple are to be equated. There is no instruction to love either one, as there is to love G-d, for example, because the love is either there or it is not. It either comes naturally, or it does not. And if it does not come naturally, one needs to work on it if one wants it. As long as the reverence and respect for one’s parents is there, and as long as one reveres the Temple and takes no steps to desecrate it, one is operating in a positive direction. And the connection to Shabbos is manifestly clear. On what day of the week does one have the opportunity to spend the most time in the Temple? On what day of the week do parents have the chance to spend the most amount of time with their children? The answer to both is “Shabbos.” And it is through the observance of the Shabbos that we spend the best quality time aimed at building the uncommanded loving part of our relationships with our parents and with our Temples and our experiences there. So now the question becomes one of how do we walk away from all these lengthy hours of quality time? Does the relationship between parents and children grow – through quality meals, singing, learning together? Or do the parents nap most of the day while

On what day of the week do parents have the chance to spend the most amount of time with their children? their children are playing G-d-knows-whatG-d-knows where? Does the Temple become a place of reverence and non-desecration? Or is there talking during the service, idle chatter in the hallways, and a general disregard for what the Temple on Shabbos is supposed to look like? The three final verses in our parsha remind us of the spiritual side of the Decalogue. It is through our honor, reverence and love of G-d that we come to observe and remember the Shabbos, and it is through our proper, family oriented approach to observing the Shabbos that children can come to revere their parents and respect the Temple. These are ideals that are worthy of repetition. Over and over again.

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THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

Parshat Behar

May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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The Kosher Bookworm

The unique legacy of the Jewish calendar

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n his latest weekly Dvar Torah titled, “The Duality of Jewish Time: Parshat Emor” British Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote the following observations that are most apt to the book under review this week, “Palaces of Time” by Dr. Elisheva Carlebach [Belknap Press of Harvard University Press , 2011]. Notes the Chief Rabbi, “Time plays an enormous part in Judaism. The first thing G-d declared holy was a day : The Shabbat, at the conclusion of creation. “The first mitzvah given to the Jewish people as a whole prior to the Exodus, was the command to sanctify time, by determining and applying the Jewish calendar.” The time factor in our religion has guided us in ritual, action and lifestyle since the very beginning of time. And this was no accident. In her latest work, Dr. Carlebach sets out Alan Jay Gerber to teach us the historical as well as theological reasonings and rationales that are the construct and observances of the Jewish calendar of early modern Europe starting from the 15th century. Utilizing the “sifrei evronot, Jewish calendar/almanacs to the 18th century Carlebach demonstrates how our beliefs and theology related to both our faith as well as to the lifestyle and calendar demands of our Christian neighbors.” Throughout this work are to be found a

plethora of illustrated works reflecting the religious custom and folklore that was the mainstay of our faith in those times. Interwoven into the text was law, and lore as well as descriptions of Jewish experiences in daily life, personal piety, the role of the Hebrew book as a source of Jewish literature, art, most in full and resplendent color. It must be realized that most of these calendars were designed for religious use exclusively and their accuracy had to be flawless to reflect the dates and times for all feasts, fasts and times for candle lighting. The consideration of Christian sensitivities, as well as Jewish religious restrictions in their relationships, especially those of commercial interest are given a major play in this book. Most of us may be oblivious as to the complicated halachic restrictions that were extant in those times and would find these numerous details as enumerated in this volume to be both fascinating and intriguing in light of our contemporary relationships with our non-Jewish neighbors of all faiths. One major factor was the Jewish calculus of Christian holidays and the various considerations that Jews in those days had to consider especially in the physically isolated conditions wherein they resided. Also, one must remember that Christianity uses a solar calendar, Islam a lunar calendar while Judaism’s “luach” utilized a fusion of both. This plays a major role in the descriptive and narrative to be found throughout this work. The scholarship that went into this book is evidenced by the fact that the extensive and detailed footnoting extends to 40 pages, and the bibliography 25 pages making this

work a joy for both the profes-sional and amateur research-ers among us to would desiree to further their knowledge off what goes into the development of the Jewish calendar This work by Dr. Carlebach, professor of Jewish History at Columbia University, and the daughter of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, shlita, the former mashgiach at Yeshivas Chaim Berlin, represents the type of scholarship and methodology that this writer wishes to see in evidence by Jewish publishers when they attempt works dealing with Jewish History, biography, and theology. If only they were to do so, it would truly enhance our people’s study of our faith’s heritage. Let me conclude this week’s essay with another quote from Rabbi Sacks’ eloquent and timely Dvar Torah of last week. “In Judaism time is both historical and natural. Unexpected, counter-intuitive, certainly. But glorious in its refusal to simplify the rich complexity of time: the ticking clock, the growing plant, the aging body and the ever deepening mind.” Time is an ever present factor in our lives, especially for our minds. This is reflected in

our faith, the faith where learning regimen is expected of all of us, and as presented in this week’s review in Dr. Carlebach’s work, and Rabbi Sacks’ teachings.

Library election: where’s the new building? By Sergey Kadinsky It sits on a narrow lot and it accommodates 23 cars, but it serves Lawrence, Cedarhurst, Inwood, Atlantic Beach, and parts of Woodmere. For years, there has been talk of a new building: a former school site next door, the parking lot of the Lawrence train station, and the Temple Israel property. The Peninsula Public Library in Lawrence remains in its half century-old building as plans for a new site remain stalled. “We’ve been trying to get a new site, but it’s not getting anywhere. We’ve been hampered and it feels like our feet are getting chopped off,” said Stanley Nussbaum, 80, the library’s treasurer. “The village is not approving the variances needed.” The library shares its district with School District 15, which in recent years has been marked by contentious school board elections that highlighted tensions between Orthodox board members and parents opposing their membership on the board. Being a quiet place, the library election is relatively tame, but not without sharp barbs. “I’m from Brooklyn and I’ve seen good libraries. This library is depressing. It’s a place where you grab a book and run out,” said Cedarhurst resident Jeffrey Leb, 32, who is challenging Nussbaum in the election. “Look at the Woodmere-Hewlett library, why can’t our library be like that library?” Leb attacked Nussbaum for the library’s attempt to secure the Lawrence train station parking lot. “They spent money planning it out, but they needed to look for the probContinued on page 11

Jewish Star file photo

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Before leaving this earth it is imperative to experience the music and certainly a live performance of Amir Gwirtzman. At a recent recital at Pianos on Ludlow Street in Greenwich Village, Gwirtzman, of Tel Aviv, performed his woodwind magic playing many of his pieces from his latest album Inhale Exhale. Although Gwirtzman demonstrates his genius talent on dozens of instruments from the flute to the soprano sax to the bagpipes, his magnificence lies in his unique live creation of a “band” that he weaves right before his audience’s eyes. He lays down a baritone saxophone track and records it and then digitally plays it back while he places the next layer with another instrument. He repeats this over and over again until he is jamming with a full musical group of himself. What’s better than one Gwirtzman? Five Gwirtzmans. And he delivers it. His music is a homogeny of Middle Eastern, Jazz, Irish, Native American, Pop, Rock and the blowing of a shofar battling with a soprano saxophone. Gwirtzman interjects his Israeli heart with quips and stories, but his ultimate charm is found in the nuance of his very body movement. While he plays 20 instruments his own feet can’t help from dancing. Gwirtzman just completed touring America’s southern museums and cultural centers

as part of a Visiting Artists Program coordinated by the Goldring/Woldenberg Institute of Southern Jewish Life, which serves 13 Southern states. The Visiting Artists Program is meant “to build a bridge between Israel and the U.S.” His New York performance was sponsored by the Israeli Embassy.

James Gennaro, who represents a large Jewish constituency in central Queens. “I went to a couple of board meetings and they were empty. Nobody attended.” Almost nobody. Alongside Leb, another local activist, Sarah Yastrab, 40, a physical therapist from Woodmere, is also running, challenging incumbent Patricia Pope, 63 of Inwood. “The library is very antiquated and needs to reach out more,” Yastrab said. Although Yastrab did not elaborate on the details of the budget, she said that by looking at the usage figures, the hours could be adjusted to the busier times in the day. Echoing Leb’s concerns on the budget, Yastrab hopes to work with the village government to secure a new site. Mayor Martin Oliner said that while he shares their goal of a new building, land in Lawrence is limited and cannot be given away. “It’s like someone asking to buy my house, but my house is not for sale. The Temple Israel site is a great idea, but it is extremely complicated,” Oliner said. With land at a premium, Oliner offered a compromise that would keep the library at its present site. “They could focus on adding a couple of stories where they are. Variances are needed and we can recommend them.”

E-mail letters to letters@thejewishstar.com or fax to (516) 569-4942.

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By David F. Nesenoff

Continued from page 10 lems. It’s like doing a title search when you purchase a home,” Leb said. Lawrence village trustee Michael Fragin said that Lawrence alone should not be blamed for the library’s shortcomings. “They need to go to the MTA for a waiver, the village is not a party to this. They did not do their homework on the site,” Fragin said. A restrictive covenant on the site limited development to transportation-related projects. Leb argued that the waste of $30,000 on an impossible site demonstrates the incumbents’ inability to spend wisely. Nussbaum said that while the building is small, it has numerous programs and is open seven days a week, operating for 12 hours every Monday through Thursday. A local resident since 1969, Nussbaum became a trustee in 2009, but his previous local leadership includes the Five Towns Democratic Club and Five Towns Jewish Council. In contrast, Leb is relatively new to Five Towns, moving in a year and a half ago from Marine Park in Brooklyn. His government experience includes advocacy for private school children on behalf of Sephardic Community Federation and Teach NYS. He also served as chief of staff for City Councilman

THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

Where’s the building? Inhale exhale and exhale: Library election issues Amir Gwirtzman Music review

May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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By Ariel Rosenbloom

What’s your favorite pizza place? “Pizza Hut on Kenyon Malcha in Israel. Their pizza tastes like a soofganiah.”

RACHEL GALILI, manager at Junee, Lawrence. “Jerusalem Pizza in Lawrence. I just like the pizza.”

SHAINDY DEMBITZER, student at TAG, Far Rockaway.

“David’s Pizza in Cedarhurst. Well, it’s delicious, it’s yummy, and Miriam and David are very warm people. You can tell that the pizza is made with love.” MIRIAM MATATHIASHERMAN, mother of three and volunteer at Brandeis, Lawrence.

“Big Apple Pizza in Jerusalem, they have crispy thin crusts and the perfect cheese to sauce ratio.”

“Dave’s in Cedarhurst; the pizza rocks.”

“It doesn’t exist anymore. It’s called ‘Ritchie’s Pizza’ in Jerusalem. It had this message board that people would tack up messages.”

LEVI BARON, meat manager at Seasons, Lawrence.

KUTI ROBERG, musician, “Kuti Roberg- One-man band,” Cedarhurst

RABBI HILLEL LICHTMAN, Israel Advisor at HAFTR High School, Cedarhurst.

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THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

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May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Photo by Zechariah Mehler

A mushroom gnocchi with braised beef cheek amid light marrow broth at Etc. Steakhouse. but a well throughout well constructed dish that showed an abundance of creativity married with first-class technique. This same skill was applied to several other dishes I sampled namely the chocolate rubbed short rib served with black rice and haricot vert and the Etc. steak with roasted potato salad and tarragon sauce. The latter was served with a roasted marrow and kishka that acted as an extremely clever union of traditional kosher food with French sensibilities. Each meat dish was prepared expertly and each dish had its own unique set of flavor and texture profiles that set each apart as a completely singular offering. My experience at Etc. was not just good in that I greatly enjoyed the food it was inspiring in that I found yet another kosher

chef who is willing to push the boundaries of kosher food and experiment in a way that brings advancement to the kosher restaurant scene. What’s more is that this was not one of the standard big city restaurants that are so often found only in Manhattan but rather is a local restaurant with all the available parking and elbow room that suburban New Jersey has to offer. For any that live in the area around Etc. I would recommend you add it to your list of restaurants to frequent and for anyone else I would definitely suggest that you take the time to pay Etc. and it’s brilliant head chef a visit. Zechariah Mehler is a widely published food writer and expert in social marketing. Follow him on Twitter @thekoshercritic

fellow diner. These features in addition to table cloths made from actual fabric and sturdy well made chairs make for an immediately comfortable dining setting. From the first dish my meal at Etc was impressive. I began with a duck confit crepe with a macerated strawberry salad. To me the flavor profile and execution of this dish fabulously encapsulated the ambitious and brilliant nature of Etc’s Execturive Chef Seth Warshaw’s menu. The duck was rich and fatty while the crepe was light with a hint of sweetness that combined very well with the tartness of the strawberries. Though I was impressed by his first dish Chef Warshaw blew me away with his second a gnocchi with crimini mushrooms, braised beef cheek, peas and fried leeks all served in a light marrow broth. The marrow broth was rich and velvety in a way that coated the cheek, mushrooms, gnocchi and leek so that they all came together to create a beautiful combination of flavors and textures that was superbly robust while still being delicate. As I said before, Etc. Steakhouse is one of the few restaurants where I will advocate ordering the steak and the next dish I was served is why. I was given a mustard glazed hanger steak with a Yukon potato puree which was topped by peas carrots and a ground hanger ragu all of which were then accompanied by a balsamic reduction. The steak was expertly infused with mustard flavor that married so wonderfully with the potato puree and vegetables that it stands far and above many other meat dishes I have been served at other restaurants. What I like most was that this was not some ubiquitous steak unceremoniously plopped onto a plate

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believe that culinary speaking there is no pleasure, no rapture, no greater ecstasy then a well-prepared steak. And though steak is such a quintessential menu item at almost all of the kosher New York meat restaurants I often times advocate that when eating out it is best to order something other than the steak. This is because despite the ability of many of these restaurants to cook a very tasty steak when you do a cost benefit THE KOSHER analysis of your meal CRITIC it seems excessive to spend upwards of 50 dollars for a piece of meat you could easily cook yourself. However some restaurants stand out above others in preparing a steak so delectably delicious that the cost of the meal seems trivial by comparison. In my experience there is no restaurant that accomplishes this feat Zechariah Mehler better then Etc. Steakhouse. Etc. Steakhouse is a modestly sized restaurant nestled at 1409 Palisades Avenue near what could be referred to as Teaneck New Jersey’s restaurant district. Etc. has a wonderfully classical atmosphere with just enough modernity to create a pleasantly hip ambiance. Because it is located outside of New York City, Etc. is able to provide tables that are large enough to be comfortable to sit at and a dining room where you don’t feel crammed next to your

THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

Etc. Steakhouse of Teaneck I

Sports: Volley for DRS over NSHA DRS High School Wildcats topped North Shore Hebrew Academy 2-0, moving on to this season’s playoffs. Junior Zev Miller (below) a junior, passes the ball at the May 9 game. “We take great pride in our team and the character they show in every game,” said DRS Assistant Principal Elly Storch.

Photos by Susan Grieco

Senior Yitz Mendlowitz makes a spike as teammates Zev Miller and Isaac Rosen look on.

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May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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19 THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

Shoppers’ code of conduct

Supermarket etiquette By Manny Davidson Why do perfectly normal people lose their mind in a supermarket? Why do intelligent, sophisticated men and women with responsible positions, lifetime achievements – even powerful people in finance and business, lay leaders and educators, act so brazenly and bizarrely in a supermarket or department store?

Jewish Star file photo

Pomegranate, Gourmet Glatt, Amazing Savings, CVS, Costco - in many stores and at many counters. Though I write tongue-incheek, you also know I am serious about my observations. But I don’t want to be taken too seriously lest you are reluctant to hitch your son’s wagon to my daughter’s wagon, hence, my anonymity, and besides, could I afford to be stared at in a store by the many who believe I was actually directing my comments at them? Could I afford to openly give mussar when I myself am not guilt-free? Therefore, I offer all of us the following recommendations for store regulations and shoppers’ code of conduct: ■ One-Way Aisles: Convert all aisles into North or South to ease traffic congestion. All even numbered aisles should face the registers; all odd numbered aisles should be directed away from the register. ■ Tall Carts: Shopping carts should be redesigned to be narrower and taller enabling three-cart passage in an aisle instead of the current two. ■ Pinch-Free Zone: All supermarket customers will be issued a card with a bar code. This card will be scanned upon entering vulnerable-to-pinching- and-squeezing areas such as the produce section and fresh chicken case. ■ Customers will be permitted one pinch of tomatoes measuring no more than two millimeters in depth, one smell of cantaloupe from a distance of no less than four inches and one press of a fresh, whole pullet with the thumb only. Any violation of these guidelines will result in the respective item being automatically scanned onto your bill. ■ Red Zone: Once a cart has passed through the one-way turnstile and has entered the red zone of the checkout area, the shopper cannot breach this secured zone and re-enter the aisles. ■ Cell phone usage in the red zone should be banned enabling shoppers to unload their carts with two hands and at a quicker pace. ■ Cashiers and baggers will interact only with customers and not with each other. They will stop exchanging personal stories about their social lives, who they are angry

with, and why they have to work the late shift today. These simple guidelines will surely create

an esprit di corps heretofore not witnessed in supermarkets and will produce a new, improved type of shopping experience for all to enjoy their never before squeezed tomatoes.

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Which of the following behaviors can you relate to? You have important company for Shabbos or Yom Tov and your mission is to purchase a beautiful roast or a lean cut rack of lamb chops. The butcher comes out with a fresh batch and you take it out of his hand or wagon before he has a chance to put it into the freezer. A woman near you says, “Those were prepared for me, I was waiting for that.” The butcher confirms this. Oblivious to her comments and his, you keep the beautiful roast and walk away. After all, you have important company for Shabbos and Yom Tov. Another circumstance surely all of us have witnessed: We are standing on line at a cashier dutifully and patiently waiting our turn. There are three cashiers, each with a line several people long. Suddenly, another cashier opens up right next to you. Courtesy dictates that the next person on line goes first. This may be the person before you, or even you. But, from the corner of your eye, you see the last person at the back of the longest line, who just arrived, quickly maneuver her way in. “Oh, I’m so sorry, my mother’s in the car ... The plumber is waiting for me ... I’ve really never done this before… I must go to the manicurist …You don’t mind do you … Thanks so much.” She does not seem to notice the venomous stares from all others who have the same obligations and commitments awaiting them. Come to think of it, since stores have special lines for express or cash only, maybe we can have one line designated for the impetuous or impatient? Sixty items or less, no waiting. Have you been at Costco lately with your full shopping cart waiting on line wondering why that woman in front of you is standing there with no cart? You know where this is going. A moment later, her husband arrives with an overloaded basket that will now set you back another 10-15 minutes. So while you were obeying the rules, others were not. Remember how you hated being pinched on your cheek by an uncle? Why do you do that to a tomato? You get very annoyed at the double parked cars on 13th Avenue or both sides of Central Avenue, slowing traffic, yet you do the same with a friend, stopping to talk in an aisle with your side-by-side wagons creating an obstacle course and making it impossible for others to pass. Don’t you get furious at the person blocking your car in who ran into the cleaners or the ATM for just a minute and blocked your car from getting out of your parking spot? But what about leaving your cart at the register and going back to pick up just five more items across the store? Yes, indeed; we courteous, generous, refined people seem to lose all sense of balance in a supermarket. I am the average person, your next-door neighbor. We’ve seen each other in Brachs,

May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Hebrew only please! A Jewish newspaper should have a Hebrew column. So here it is. We will try to maintain a level of vocabulary so that it will be easy enough for students to read and interesting enough for those more fluent to enjoy. Rabbi Noam Himelstein studied in Yeshivat Har Etzion and served in the Tanks Corps of the IDF. He has taught in yeshiva high schools, post-high school women’s seminaries, and headed the Torah MiTzion Kollel in Melbourne, Australia. He currently teaches at Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem, and lives with his wife and six children in Neve Daniel, Gush Etzion. By Rabbi Noam Himelstein

Yom Ha’atzmaout: in honor of Israel

Yom HaShoah (article previously omitted)

21

By Ariel Rosenbloom

Photo by Ariel Rosenbloom

Rabbi Dovid Weinberger of congregation Shaaray Tefilla, discusses the future of Israel’s neighbors with Dr. Kedar. ample. The Spanish national anthem consists of music but no words. The reason for this is because Spain has many different autonomous communities and provinces that never reached an agreement on the language of the song. The name for the song was also never settled, and it remains without a title. “So Spain as well is not a big success of

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uniting all those groups in the Iberian Peninsula,” Kedar said. “So what do we expect? That something which failed in Europe will succeed in Afghanistan or Iraq?” Kedar argues that many Middle Eastern borders were shaped by European nations. “Borders were marked regardless of the population,” Kedar said.

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The season of Arab discontent continues this week as Syrian tanks struggle to contain protesters aimed at removing President Bashar al-Assad. Putting the events in perspective, Congregation Shaaray Tefilla in Lawrence hosted Bar Ilan University professor Mordechai Kedar. “The Middle East is full of failing states,” said Kedar, a fluent Arabic speaker who has appeared numerous times on Arab television to give the Israeli point of view. Kedar said that one difference between Middle Eastern and European nations is the element of unity, a prevalent trait in countries such as Britain and France. In contrast, Middle Eastern nations are comprised of numerous groups or tribes, thus contributing to disagreement among its many constituents. “Its three main problems are illegitimate states, illegitimate borders, and illegitimate regimes,” Kedar said. Some of the more obvious examples include Iraq, which counts 10 religious and ethnic groups; Afghanistan with 11 ethnic groups; and Sudan, where Kedar counts some 600,000 tribal and linguistic groups. “If you go to Europe, you can see that Europe also is not such a big success in uniting or unification of different groups,” Kedar said. “The Soviet Union fell apart according to ethnic lines, and Spain also is not a big story of success of unifying different groups.” Kedar said that some European nations have made attempts at creating common identity among their citizens, with Spain as an ex-

A century ago, the Ottoman Empire dominated the region. After its defeat in the First World War, states such as Syria, Iraq, and Jordan were carved out of the empire by the victorious European states. “The American role in the Middle East should be encouraging groups in the Middle East to have independence at the expense of the states,” Kedar said. “This would the biggest and the best contribution to peace because every state which is big on a homogenous group will live in peace within itself and within its neighbors because when they leave each other alone, they live in peace.” Audience members were impressed by Kedar, and his knowledge of the borders that contributed to today’s conflicts. “Some of the realities many of us here might not have been aware of, such as the importance of tribalism in the various Middle Eastern countries and how that really informs the actual dynamics between the people’s who live there,” said Lawrence resident Shimon Felder. “It is wonderful to hear a speaker that is so knowledgeable about the events in the Middle East,” Aliza Leibowitz said. “He did not really touch on the subject of Israel as far as I recollect. He touched more on the dynamics of the countries around Israel and how they were developed in the twentieth century.” “My field of research doesn’t include Israel, at least not the Jewish population of Israel. I do look at the Arab population of Israel,” Kedar said.

THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

Middle East: Full of failing states

May 14

Boxer Dmitriy Salita speaks

CHABAD OF PORT WASHINGTON, located at 80 Shore Road in Port Washington, is hosting Orthodox boxer Dmitriy Salita for its Shabbat morning services, which will be followed by Kiddush and speech. Salita will speak about his path to Jewish observance and his ability to balance his career and religious life. The event is free. For more information, contact 516-767-8672 or visit www. chabadpw.org

Navigating the dating maze

ON THE

Calendar Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com. Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

May 18

May 15

Halachic issues of the tuition crisis

Yeshiva of Sderot dinner

AMERICAN FRIENDS OF SDEROT are holding their Sixth Annual Awards Dinner at Citi Field, the Queens baseball stadium, honoring Merrick residents Dr. Stuart and Dr. Loren Daitch. Rabbi Daniel Hershkowitz, the Israeli Minister of Science, will deliver the keynote address. The event begins at 6 p.m. For more information, contact info@sderotdinner.org or 718-673-4945.

Emunah National Convention

EMUNAH, the religious Zionist women’s organization, is holding its national convention at the Lincoln Square Synagogue, located at 200 Amsterdam Avenue in Manhattan. The event will discuss “Visions and Values” behind Israel advocacy, Jewish family values, and the Jewish future. Woodsburgh resident Fran Hirmes will be installed as the new Emunah president. Prominent speakers include Malcolm Hoenlein, author John Loftus, media analyst Ricki Hollander, and family therapist Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch of Shalom Task Force. For more information, contact 212-564-9045 ext 306 or visit www.emunah.org/convention

Dry Bones cartoonist speaks

YOUNG ISRAEL OF WOODMERE, located at 859 Peninsula Boulevard in Woodmere, is hosting Israeli political cartoonist Yaakov Kirschen, creator of the widely syndicated Dry Bones comic. Kirschen will address the topic of delegitimizing of Israel and what that means to your future, alongside news topics and humor. The free event begins at 8 p.m. and is co-sponsored by National Council of Young Israel and Z Street. For more information, contact 516-295-0950.

Hatzalah fundraising barbecue

CHEVRA HATZALAH OF THE ROCKAWAYS & NASSAU COUNTY is holding its annual barbecue at The Sands, located at 1395 Beech Street in Atlantic Beach. The event honors the volunteers of Hatzalah as the organization celebrates its 30th year. The event begins at 6:30 p.m. For more information, contact Rabbi Elozer Kanner at 516298-8050 or visit www.hatzalahrl.org/salute

Project Extreme annual breakfast

PROJECT EXTREME, the organization that develops programs for at-risk teenagers and their families is hosting Rabbi Abraham Twerski, who will speak about his career in addiction

YUCONNECTS, the matchmaking program for Yeshiva University students and alumni, is hosting an interactive meeting on helping children gain proper values as they prepare for dating. Rabbi Kenneth Brander, Dr. David Pelcowitz, and Dr. Efrat Sobowelsky will be speaking. The event will take place at the home of Yacov and Deborah Stollman, located at 546 Fairway Drive in Woodmere. For reservations, contact Julie Schreier at 516-972-2920 or Julie.schreier@yu.edu

YESHIVA UNIVERSITY is holding a lecture by Rabbi Herschel Schachter on the topic of halachic issues of the tuition crisis. The event will take place at the home of Terri and Andrew Herenstein, located at 3 Dogwood Lane in Lawrence. For reservations, contact Julie Schreier at 516972-2920 or Julie.schreier@yu.edu

Pizza with pals

HAFTR’s early childhood classes had a mini-parade with songs to celebrate Yom Ha’Atzmaut. The children marched to the Lower School yard to watch their “big brothers” and “big sisters” at the Lower School’s presentations and programs. HAFTR will have a larger parade contingent on June 5 at the Celebrate Israel parade in Manhattan. treatment in the Jewish community. Proceeds from the breakfast will go towards the Myriam Ghermezian Academy, a residential high school for girls who are struggling emotionally, behaviorally, or academically. The event will take place at the home of Michael and Michelle Edery, located at 22 Meadow Lane in Lawrence. The event begins at 9:30 a.m. For more information, contact Rabbi Scott Steinman at 347-757-0463 or steinman@projectextreme.org.

who will be speaking on the topic “Understanding the ever Evolving Israeli society through humor.” The free event begins at 8 p.m. For more information, contact 516-488-1616.

Kulanu Annual Fair

CENTRAL QUEENS YM-YWHA, located at 67-09 108 Street in Forest hills, is hosting author Kenneth Moss, who will discuss the flourishing, but brief period of secular Jewish culture that emerged in Russia following its revolution, and its influence on later Hebrew and Yiddish writers. The event begins at 1:30 p.m. The suggested donation for non-members is $6. For more information , contact Peggy Kurtz at 718-268-5011, ext. 151 or Pkurtz@centralqueensy.org

KULANU is holding its annual fair at Cedarhurst Park in Cedarhurst. The event begins at 12 p.m. and includes game booths, refreshments, pony rides, and prizes. The Jewish Star is a sponsor this event and its editorial staff will be present at the event. Proceeds from the sponsorships will directly go to year-round programs for local families with special-needs children. For more information, call 516-569-3083.

May 17

Jewish renaissance in the Russian Revolution

5K Run/Walk

FRIENDS OF ISRAEL DISABLED VETERANS is holding its second annual 5Towns 5K Run/Walk in North Woodmere Park in support of Beit Halochem rehabilitation centers in Israel. The event begins at9 a.m. For more information, visit www.5towns5k.org or contact 5towns5@ optonline.net

ELMONT JEWISH CENTER, located at 500 Elmont Road in Elmont, welcomes Prof. Micah Kaplan,

May 22

Yeshiva building groundbreaking

YESHIVA GEDOLA OF THE FIVE TOWNS, located at 218 Mosher Avenue in Woodmere, is holding a celebration for its new yeshiva building with divrei Torah from Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky and Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon. For more information, contact Baruch Moskowitz at 516-2958-900 ext. 6

Lag B’Omer BBQ

CHABAD OF MERRICK, located at 2083 Seneca Gate in Merrick, is holding a Lag B’Omer barbecue with a kumsitz bonfire, kite flying, magic show, and music. The event begins at 4:30 p.m. Suggested donation for this public event is $18 per family. For more information, contact Esther at 516-833-3057 or visit ChabadJewishLife.org 335 Central Avenue, 2nd Floor Lawrence, NY 11559 P:516.791.6100 F: 516.374.7059

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May 16

Understanding Israel through humor

JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS, located at 207 Grove Avenue in Cedarhurst is holding a social skills program for middle and high school-age youths with high-functioning autism. The event begins at 6:30 p.m. and includes a kosher dinner. For more information, contact Gayle Fremed at 516-569-6733 ext. 211.

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23 THE JEWISH STAR May 13, 2011 • 9 IYAR, 5771

The Jerusalem Post Crossword Puzzle By David Benkof

Across

1. Lover of Aeneas 5. “My Yiddishe ___” 9. A sleep disorder 14. Grandson of Leah 15. Biblical bk. 16. Plant, in a way 17. Former Pennsylvania governor and DNC chair 19. A klezmer band might play one 20. Dentist’s order 21. Vista 23. ___ Ziona (Israeli city) 24. Raw fish 26. Stair part 28. Science 30. Baby ___ (ceremony) 33. Sukkot mo., occasionally 36. Bit of Rachel 38. Senator Carl (D-Mich.) 39. Part of BBYO 40. Hoosier, perhaps 42. Pilot’s announcement, briefly 43. Smash 45. Hebrew you? 46. Emulate Art Spiegelman 47. Prepared kosher meat 49. Typical work by composer Gyorgy Ligeti 51. Internet entrepreneur Newmark 53. Happy 57. Radio ___ Europe 59. Hobbling gait 61. Comedienne Essman 62. Israeli beach city 64. One way into the Old City 66. “Remember the ___!” 67. Cream ingredient 68. Noshes 69. Past or present 70. Holocaust rescuer, perhaps 71. Actress Ione (“Say Anything”)

Down

1. Those who act 2. Neighbor of Pakistan 3. Fixes socks 4. Kind of opportunity 5. Stylish, in the ‘60s 6. Actor in “The Godfather” 7. African nation 8. Acting teacher Stella 9. Kind of snake 10. “Call!” 11. Important geographical feature in the book of Exodus 12. Lodge fellows 13. Oy! 18. Singer-songwriter Diamond 22. Don’t tie 25. Brood 27. Polio vaccine discoverer Jonas 29. “Fiddler on the Roof” matchmaker 31. Congresswoman Lowey (D-N.Y.)

32. Chew on 33. Pouches 34. ___ the Scribe 35. Holocaust poet 37. It might be used to eat cholent 40. Actress Perlman (“Cheers”) 41. Buddy 44. Conservative and Reconstructionist

46. Floods 48. Lenny Bruce: “___, I’m Jewish.” 50. Insult 52. Captive Shalit 54. Historical writer ___ Marcus Jost 55. ___-gritty 56. A gaggle of ___ 57. Achievement

58. Tick off 60. Leon Uris’s “___ 18” 63. Little piggy 65. Chelsea Mezvinsky, ___ Clinton

Answers will appear next week

467456b

Last week’s answers

Ask Aviva

Not calling the Kallah crisis Dear Aviva,

I just got engaged 2 months ago and have a problem. My friends and I used to be very tight. We would hang out all the time and go away to different places for Shabbos. I have begun to notice that they have been calling me less and less. I see on Facebook that they are still going to cool places for Shabbos and I don’t even get invited. I understand that it’s hard for them that they are still single and I’m getting married, but I thought that our friendship was based on more than just being single together. I’m really hurt. -Betrayed Bride

Dear Betrayed Bride,

It’s funny, because usually I see the opposite problem. It’s very typical for a kallah to drop her friends like a hot potato once she’s got a man on her proverbial arm. I guess in your case, you’re serious about keeping your friends. What I suggest is going to take a lot of energy on your part. Amidst your planning a wedding, setting up your new home, navigating in-law issues, going to kallah classes, and maintaining a healthy relationship with your chassan, you will now have to chase your friends. Not quite a Runaway Bride, more like a Runningto-Getcha kind of bride. Call each friend (don’t email) once a week. Be pushy. Ask on Monday what their Shabbos plans are. Invite them all to dinner (sans your guy). Text when you find out about a blowout sale. And when you’re with them, don’t talk about your wedding. And try to steer clear of any fiancée talk. I know that he is now a big part of your life, but your friends have dropped you for a reason. It may be very painful for them. Having a friend meet a life-goal can be a sharp reminder to the person that she is not there yet. Resentment and jealousy are common in

LEGAL NOTICE ASSESSOR’S NOTICE OF COMPLETION OF THE FINAL ASSESSMENT ROLL THE ACTING ASSESSOR OF THE COUNTY OF NASSAU HEREBY GIVES NOTICE that he has completed the 2011/2012 tentative assessment roll, which will be used

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this situation, so do your best not to flaunt things in their faces. Another possibility may be that your friends don’t know what to make of your new status. Meaning, they know how to be friends with a single woman, but not with an engaged one. We see this often on the flip side of life. When something tragic happens to a person, close friends of theirs may shy away because they just don’t know what to do or say. Thank goodness yours is a case of simcha, but you are now someone that they may not be able to relate to superficially. So trap them and show them that the core relationship is still there. If you tried all this and they are still MIA, it’s time to have a talk. Hopefully your communication skills have grown since you’ve been in a committed relationship (and if they haven’t, for your sake, call me ASAP!). So apply your newfound open-eared, tactfullyhonest, assertively-respectful, good timing, deep-breathing, soft-worded skills to your friends now. Most likely they think that you just got your golden ticket and are impervious to any hurt. Thanks to Disney and Hollywood, many believe that a diamond on a finger forms a force-field around a bride which does not allow any sadness or disappointment to penetrate. If you tell them that you miss them and feel left out, that may be extremely eyeopening for them. Also ask them if you did anything to hurt them. Hardest part? Making sure you don’t leave your chassan in the dust. Because your friends don’t want to hear about another marriage biting the dust. -Aviva Aviva Rizel is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice who can be reached at AvivaRizel.MFT@gmail.com.

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Dr. Joseph Frager, left, organizer, Paul and Drora Brody, chairpersons, prepare for the Carl Freyer, z�l tribute, 18th Annual Israel Day Concert in Central Park. The concert will be held on Sunday, June 5 right after the Israeli Day parade.

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