June 17, 2011

David’s Harp: Owed to Anthony Weiner Page 4 Kulanu Fair shines Page 8 Mohel speaks on bris ban vote Page 11 West Hempstead author’s Swim-A-Thon Page 12

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VOL 10, NO 23 ■ JUNE 17, 2011 / 15 SIVAN 5771

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YALE FAILS Tzahal

Great Neck hosts Rabbi Shaul Leiter

Yale University kills its study of anti-Semitism

backed by Ascent

Exclusive interview with Alan Dershowitz

By David F. Nesenoff As college campuses throughout the United States continue to be accused of antiJewish/Israel behavior, Yale University, with a legacy of anti-Semitism, joins the contemporary ranks of insensitivity to the Jewish people. Less than one year after its very first conference of YIISA (Yale Interdisciplinary Initiative for the Study of Anti-Semitism) Yale has decided to discontinue the widely acclaimed unique program, claiming that YIISA did not stimulate sufficient scholarship to warrant its continuance. Scholars worldwide have vocalized great dismay characterizing YIISA’s closure as a setback to the study of anti Semitism and a substantial loss and blemish on Yale itself. Many surmise that whereas YIISA’s focus on Holocaust Jewish hate was an acceptable course of study, its attention to modern Islamic anti Semitism/ Israel was academic suicide.

The Jewish Star spoke with noted attorney, Harvard professor, author, YIISA presenter and Yale graduate Alan Dershowitz about the anti Israel/Jewish phenomenon on college campuses. (Full disclosure: David F. Nesenoff was a keynote speaker at the 2010 YIISA conference, “Global Anti Semitism: A Crisis of Modernity.”)

David F. Nesenoff: I attended the YIISA conference last year at Yale and was saddened to hear the news of its closing. I know you have had a relationship with Yale and the conference and wanted to hear your thoughts.

Alan Dershowitz: I am also very saddened

to have learned the news. It’s the worst possible time for Yale to have terminated this excellent organization. The need to study the changing face of anti-Semitism around the world has never been greater. This is a serious subject of academic research and discourse. And the Yale center was an excellent center to do it. So I’m distressed and I hope it’s not a final decision.

DFN: Do you think it was for bad reasons? Yale is claiming that YIISA didn’t reach an academic level.

AD: That doesn’t satisfy me, at the least. I think it reached a high academic level. Normally if there is any concern, you sit down with the people and you give them an opportunity to set it right. This sounds too precipitous to me and unfair.

is the only time in history where to study anti-Semitism is to be accused of racism on the other side. It’s a very dangerous phenomenon.

The answer is not to shut down an institute like this, which is doing great work, but to continue to study the problem Continued on page 3

DFN: I know the conference did touch upon the line between anti-Semitism and anti-Israel, which is a line that is so often being broken down today.

AD: That is an important issue to study. This institution studied it very well and there is a need to continue to study it. It is much more difficult to study it today. It Photo courtesy of Alan Dershowitz

Alan Dershowitz, Yale Law School alum

By Sergey Kadinsky Education secures victory. Describing one conclusion for Israel’s lackluster performance in the Second Lebanon War, Col. Roni Suleimani of the IDF Education and Youth Corps, said that religious programming makes the difference in motivating his soldiers to fight.

“Many have questions why it is necessary to serve their country. Our mission is to strengthen the answers to these questions, which strengthens their fighting spirit,” Suleimani said.

In 2007, the IDF contracted the Tzfatbased Ascent organization to provide Jewish programs to officers stationed in the north of Israel. “I recognized early that this is an investment that pays in itself. Ascent brings the soldiers back to Judaism, which is what we do here in America with our children,” said Great Neck resident Adam Hutt, who hosted Ascent director Rabbi Shaul Leiter on his fundraising visit on June 13. Hutt first met Rabbi Leiter on a visit to Tzfat 20 years ago.

“The task is to create a Jewish environment for the soldiers. We teach them that there is a G-d and Hashem is with you. The land of Israel is holy and needs to be protected. There can only be victory because we are surrounded by enemies,” Rabbi Leiter said. For many officers, a Shabbaton in Tzfat is their first Shabbat experience, a combination of meals, tours and lectures. “Our staff of 20 is all baalei teshuvah IDF veterans.

They are a bridge between Jewish tradition Continued on page 2

Shabbat Candlelighting: 8:11 p.m. Shabbat ends 9:15 p.m. 72 minute zman 9:40 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Shelach

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Photo courtesy of Ascent

Chabad’s Ascent brings Israeli soldiers back to Judaism in Tzfat.

IDF soldiers strengthened

by Ascent

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Continued from page 1 and the army. The ice melts and the soldiers feel comfortable,� Rabbi Leiter said.

From the initial year’s worth of 20,000 participants, some 60,000 are expected to attend Ascent programs this year, but a budget crunch has sent Rabbi Leiter to look for outside sources of funding, speaking of the common goal in promoting Jewish observance to his audience. “Every time they need a new missile they strip from the education budget and now 80 percent of our budget comes from donations,� Rabbi Leiter said. The expected shortfall is $700,000, but it does not deter Rabbi Leiter from hosting dozens of soldiers in his home and a building campaign to purchase a hotel next to the Ascent building, to house the visiting officers.

The Ascent building has 75 beds, while a nearby hotel increases the number of overnight participants to 250. The historic building, the Tel Aviv Hotel, served as a consulate in the Ottoman period and as a maternity ward during the British Mandate. “The uniqueness of Tzfat is that the holiness is everywhere,� Rabbi Leiter said. “Imagine 120 soldiers each week experiencing Shabbat for the first time in Tzfat. Programs are expanding exponentially.�

Ascent provided 46 percent of educational programs for the IDF in 2010. “There is an effect. It’s filtering down from the army. Israeli schools also have a Jewish identity program now,� Rabbi Leiter said. Critics have also taken note of the religious program. At a hearing last year, Knesset Member Nitzan Horowitz of Meretz argued against Ascent’s work in the IDF. Colleague Menachem Eliezer Moses of United Torah Judaism shouted him down.

But Meretz is in the minority, as senior military leaders recognize the influence of religious education on the morale of soldiers. “Maintaining strong defense forces requires not only professional military skills but demands a strong spirit as well,� said the IDF’s top education officer Brig. Gen. Eli Shermeister.

A baal teshuvah with a Chabad background, Rabbi Leiter, founded Ascent in 1983 with two other American-born couples to serve visitors to Tzfat. Liron Kreitman, the Long Island coordinator for Friends of the IDF offered praise for Ascent’s work. “I was a lone soldier when I served. Every soldier needs a sense of purpose. This is extra motivation in those three years of your life.�

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June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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DFN: What’s happening on campuses today? You’re right in the thick of things.

AD: I am right in the thick of things. It depends on where. In many places in the world like in Norway where I just recently came from a visit, it is overt anti-Semitism pure and simple, reminiscent of the 1930s in Germany.

DFN: Tell me a real example of this overt anti-Semitism on campus.

AD: A leading professor at Turtheim University talks about how the Jews do this and how the Jews do that. The Jews as a group.

That’s just overt anti-Semitism. When you have a guy like Gilad Otzmon, a former Israeli, who says that Jews are terrible people and the Holocaust didn’t occur, it’s overt. In the United States it’s more subtle. And that only increases the need to have it studied well.

DFN: Do you think it is a different type of animal to study, so therefore it doesn’t fit into the type of category the way one would study something else?

AD: I think that’s right. It presents an academic challenge. A third example [of overt anti-Semitism] is Helen Thomas. Hardly anybody disputes the fact that Helen Thomas is a classic anti-Semite and has expressed classic anti-Semitic views as has Patrick Buchanan and others. The bigger problem is the more subtle forms that you find at the University of California, Davis and Irvine. Ironically, you don’t find it at Yale. You don’t find it at

Harvard. Maybe, because Yale doesn’t see it directly on its campus, that it’s not sensitive to the worldwide phenomenon.

DFN: I don’t know if it’s overt or covert, but where does Arab funding fit into antiSemitism on college campuses?

AD: When you have funding with springs attached it always presents the problem of academic freedom. I think there is some of that on campuses. Going back to Yale for a moment… when I was at Yale, there was overt anti-Semitism.

The slogan of Yale was “urim v’tumim” [light and truth] in Hebrew.

The joke was if you could read it, you can’t go there. The college had an overt quota system. I was not in the college. I couldn’t get into the college obviously. When I went to the law school there was overt anti-Semitism in the hiring process by law firms. And there were secret clubs that didn’t allow in Jews. That was 50 years ago. Yale has a terrible legacy of antiSemitism, which should make it sensitive to the issue.

DFN: What of the Jewish participation as far as the blame game is concerned. Do Jews do enough on campus, whether it be

faculty or student body, to fight this type of anti Semitism, to speak up or to attend programs?

AD: I think some of the blame lies not only with the Jewish faculty members but with pro Israel faculty members who are too frightened to speak up because it makes them unpopular. You pay a price on campus today for being pro Israel.

Even I pay a price for that.

DFN: What’s that price right now?

AD: The price is isolation, marginalization, people say, “Oh it’s Dershowitz, we know his views.” I have been excluded from certain events and conferences and honor societies and other kinds of things because of my pro support for Israel. And it sends a message to younger people. In my case I don’t care because I’m established. But it sends a very dangerous message to young faculty that if you are perceived as too strongly supportive of Israel, you will be marginalized and discriminated against. And I have no doubt in my mind, that phenomenon exists.

DFN: The flavor is getting spicier with September coming, with the de-legitimization of Israel getting stronger. It would

seem that a program like YIISA should be bolstered from every angle.

AD: No question. There should have been a public debate about it. The university should have sought public input from faculty and other people. For example, I’m an alum; I’m a member of the Board of Advisors. I never got a phone call. I was never asked my views on this matter. I’ve spoken for them.

You would think that the University might call me and others like me, or at least get our input. They didn’t.

DFN: Yale has given me a list of all the wonderful Jewish things they do. “My best friends are Jews” list.

AD: Yale does wonderful Jewish things.

That’s no answer.

DFN: I guess there’s a difference between Judaic studies, Jewish folklore and history and actually combating a strong hate toward a people and their country?

AD: Jewish study programs around the country have been notoriously anti-Israel. 30 Jewish studies professors in California wrote a letter in support of the Muslim students who disrupted Michael Oren’s speech and nobody was surprised.

DFN: What do you see of the future of the study of anti-Semitism, if Yale University is closing its conference after one year?

AD: I think this deals a serious blow to it and at precisely the wrong time in history. I think it shows an enormous lack of courage on the part of Yale to have terminated the program in the way that they did.

Brandeis School dedicates playground

By Sergey Kadinsky In a corner of its sizable Lawrence schoolyard, new play equipment beckon the students of Brandeis School, offering a connection to Israel and longtime supporters of the institution. “This shows the friendship between the families of Brandeis and the families in Israel,” said Brandeis School Rabbi Tomer Grossman.

As clouds revealed spotty rain, students recited the national anthems of the United States and Israel, and educators used the assembly to teach a civics lesson. “President Teddy Roosevelt spoke about the need for playgrounds as far back as 1907. He would be proud of this playground,” said Head of School Alese Gingold.

Alongside tributes to the murdered Fogel family of Itamar, the school also noted Martin Kogan, whose son Larry, 41, contributed $60,000 for the playground. “I was a student here 30 years ago. My father was all about Jewish education. He died before he could become a grandfather,” Kogan said. “It is important for my children to have a Jewish education.” Three of Kogan’s five children attend the school, described by parent Miriam Matathias-Herman as an inclusive Jewish school that indeed includes Conservative and Orthodox families. The school shares its building and yard with Mesivta Rambam, an Orthodox School.

Retired Head of School Dr. Mildred David spoke at the dedication, which also honored her late husband Moe Karash. “My husband was in Palestine when it was British. He was exploring a cave and found weapons, which

Photo by Sergey Kadinsky

Students of the Bradeis School gather in Lawrence in a patriotic display at the ribbon cutting of their new playground.

The event remembered the Fogel family of Itamar and two longtime supporters of the school. he gave to the Jewish fighters, helping Israel fight for its independence,” David said.

The ribbon cutting was attended by local rabbis from across the denominational

spectrum, and community activists who have family members at the school. “It’s caring and sharing. Caring what happens to our people in Israel and sharing generosity of the

parents who make it possible,” said Woodmere resident Asher Matathias, who has two grandchildren at Brandeis.

THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

“Yale has a terrible legacy of anti-Semitism”

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June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Opinion Owed to Anthony

W

e gawked and stalked. We punned and had fun.

In shock, we asked “how?” and then acted holier than thou. Some didn’t care, others pointed with indignation, while colleagues joined with foes demanding resignation. A week of comparisons as to which of the tumbled politicians were cleaner. It was a time of jokes and headlines where the double entendre was always Weiner.

Nevertheless, what should follow the ludeness, the rudeness, DAVID’S HARP the transgress, the scantiness, the undress, the paparazzi press, the craziness, the sadness, the personal stress, the second guess, the twitter mess and the false witness? Perhaps the next verse is forgiveness.

We talk a big talk and pray a good prayer and sing a sweet psalm. There’s no harm, it’s so easy when all is calm. Absolve our sin oh our Father our King. I am guilty and I have trespassed; we supplicate and fast. As we plead David F. Nesenoff before our Judge for a kind advocate, our arbitration of others should also be compassionate. Humanity is only human; and mankind rests on the kindness of man. We are so quick to toss out our fellow and step on the fallen. We’re present for the admonishment and absent when the atoner comes calling. Even if we disagree with the way

his politics ticks or a mile from his side of the aisle, we should preach what we teach and stop the scolding for a while. We excuse the movie star and pardon the football player; certainly we can afford a sincere moment of concern for a civil servant and wannabe mayor.

Can our world change? Can one man change? Do we give more consideration to the stock exchange? Was there such a breach of trust with fraudulent intent? Was this a dramatic event? Unequalled discontent? Unparalleled descent? Incomparable torment? To what extent?

To what percent? When do we turn our back on one who laments? And when do we accept the words of the sinner who repents? He certainly suffered embarrassment.

“It’s his own fault, he has himself to blame. He brought shame on his fame and his name.” We say as we join in and play “who is the guilty one” game. When a sojourner wears the scarlet letter, let’s be honest, it makes each of us feel and look a little better.

Sure, our first reaction is to knee jerk. Forget the election and he should never work. Who should have his job?

Some other men? What do we know of them? At least we can bet he won’t do it again.

“No sin is so light that it may be overlooked,” said the sage Ibn Ezra with love. He added. “No sin is so heavy that it may not be repented of.”

At the end of the day, it’s either a character flaw we often see, or an unfortunate fleeting anomaly. Timing is everything and now he’s having a family. And so with dignity and sympathy and without cruelty, we should accept the penitent from the man we will now simply call Anthony.

Letters to the editor Israel day parade To the Editor: I marched with HANC too and it was truly a wonderful day. The turnout was great and the weather was awesome. It was so heartwarming to see so many different types of Jews represented “under one tent” as all of us, marchers and watchers, showed our love for Eretz Yisrael. If you missed it, there is always next year. If your school DOESN’t march you should let them know how you feel! shampooking from thejewishstar.com

Impure question To the Editor: [Re: Rabbi Billet’s Parshas Naso] Shulchan Arukh adds that if

he became tameh to a person who is not one of his seven close relatives: mother, father, wife, sister, brother, son, daughter, he may not bless the people.

If we’re all considered “t’mei meis” (impure at the level of one who became tamei because of a dead Jewish body), why are Kohanim not considered “t’mei meis”? Thanks.

MPoppers from thejewishstar.com

For the birds To the Editor: I’ve been reading with interest the latest developments concerning the Agudah’s use of the internet, most recently their tentative but still questionable use of a blog for information and updates. At issue seems to be the concern re-

THE JEWISH

garding the “kashrus” of the internet altogether. Perhaps, then, the Agudah could use pigeons; I understand that they’re kosher.

Ariel Weisz Far Rockaway

Solution to settle To the Editor: I wish someone would tell me how absent a comprehensible, sustainable solution of the Israeli/ Palestinian conflict, Israel can avoid a major intifada or devastating war, the UN general Assembly declaring a Palestinian State, and Israel increasingly faced with numerous problems.

Yes, I know the many difficulties involved in reaching a settlement, but everything possible should be done in pursuit of it.

Richard Schwartz Staten Island

STAR

Independent and original reporting from the Orthodox communities of Long Island and New York City All opinions expressed are solely those of The Jewish Star’s editorial staff or contributing writers Publisher and Editor Assistant Editor Account Executives Contributors

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David F. Nesenoff Sergey Kadinsky Helene Parsons Hy Spitz Sandi Stanger Rabbi Avi Billet Jeff Dunetz Samuel Fisher Brigitte Fixler Rabbi Noam Himelstein Alan Jay Gerber Zechariah Mehler Aviva Rizel Ariel Rosenbloom Alyson Goodman Christina Daly

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Letters to the editor Obama same as Bush To the Editor: [Re: David’s Harp, Memo for Shabbos] What is worse: to postpone the moving of the US Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem for national security reasons or to postpone the moving of the embassy and lie about your administration’s commitment to moving it?

The fact is that George W. Bush added that sentence about his administration being committed to moving the embassy, a sentence Clinton never included. The reasons are clear: Bush wished to pander to the evangelical Christian community, and perhaps, to the right-wing of our community. During the eight years of the Bush administration the embassy stayed in Tel Aviv, the strongest evidence that his administration could not have cared less about the issue.

This is an example of what is wrong with politics in the Orthodox community today. There is no substantive difference between the Obama and Bush administrations.

Both strongly favored a two-state solution based on the 1967 lines with swaps. Both administrations continued the long-standing policy of not

recognizing Israeli sovereignty over East Jerusalem. Both administrations were dwarfed in pro-Israel sentiment by Congress, as every administration has been for many years.

The difference is that the Bush administration pandered to Christian evangelical voters with stronger proIsrael rhetoric and the Obama administration tells it like it is.

So what is worse: To be told the truth or to be lied to? David Nesenoff, and much of the right-wing of our community, seems to prefer the latter.

Michael Brenner Woodmere/Brooklyn

US treason, not Pollard To the Editor: People forget that it was treason by the United States to Israel that started the whole Pollard Affair.

The U.S. had an intelligence sharing agreement with Israel but was withholding intelligence it had promised to share, that was important to the safety of Israeli citizens.

Gamliel from thejewishstar.com

Yankie & Luzer What do we do about Islamic radicalization in prison?

Throw away the key.

5

Obama ultimatum: Start with no Kotel

P

resident Barack Obama gave Bibi Netanyahu an ultimatum on renewing negotiations with the Palestinians, according to reports cited by Israel Radio last Sunday. According to the ultimatum, Netanyahu has to decide within a month whether he agrees to accept President Barack Obama’s platform and resume talks based on 1967 lines.

The President has been working on getting the leaders of major Jewish organizations on POLITICO his side realizing that TO GO some of them, such as Abe Foxman of the ADL are more concerned about advancing their power in the progressive political world than their organization’s Jewish mission.

Eli Lake of Washington Times reported that the White House apJeff Dunetz pealed to Jewish leaders last Friday, arguing that his request to Israel was part of an effort to head off Palestinian plans to declare an independent state at the United Nations Defenders of the President insist that the President’s “1967 borders with land

swaps” is nothing new. But it certainly is.

As Jennifer Rubin reported in the Washington Post writes, “On Saturday I asked a State Department official authorized only to speak on background: Does ‘1967 borders with land swaps’ mean ‘1967 and then we discuss swaps’ or does it mean ‘1967 borders plus the swaps that the parties previously agreed to in negotiations including the Jerusalem suburbs?’ The latter, I pointed out is consistent with the 2004 Bush-Sharon letters, but the former is not. In fact, if it is 1967 and then they discuss land swaps, that is the same as starting with the 1967 borders. Period. And sure enough the State Department official told me, “It means swaps that the parties will agree on in the course of direct negotiations.”

In other words, Obama wants Israel to start negotiating under the assumption that that the Kotel, the Old City and the Jerusalem suburbs are Palestinian property, cancelling prior understandings that these areas would never be part of a Palestinian state. That has never before been the U.S. government’s demand, and it weakens Israel’s bargaining position. In other words,

there is zero difference in the Obama plan between “1967 borders” and “1967 border with land swaps.” In both, the starting point is a border that Israel deems indefensible.

At the same time, President Obama has not made similar demands of the Palestinians, not even requesting the most basic of concessions, such as recognizing Israel as the Jewish State. When you put it all together, Obama is asking Israel to make concessions with a government which is comprised of two terrorist organizations bent on its destruction, Fatah makes their calls for Israel’s destruction in Arabic only, while the Hamas message is clear in any language.

Supposedly Obama is making the demands because he does not want to be forced to veto the unilateral Palestinian Statehood declaration in September. The Palestinians are well aware their unilateral statehood push has no chance; its only purpose is to continue the international delegitimization of Israel. Obama’s demand for the 1967 borders as a starting place is serving the same purpose, because there is no way Israel can agree to it. An Israeli con-

Fatah makes their calls for Israel’s destruction in Arabic

cession on borders prior to talks robs them of their one bargaining chip. And there is no corresponding Palestinian concession.

During the administration of George H.W. Bush, the hostile Secretary of State James Baker remarked, “The Jews, they won’t vote for us anyway.” Today the administration of Barack Obama has a similar attitude, “The Jews, they will vote for us whatever we do!”

Sadly they are probably right. Jewish money still pours into Democratic Party coffers even though the President from their party is the most anti-Israel in history, and the legislators are too cowardly to confront him in public. If this administration is this anti-Israel in the middle of a re-election campaign, I shudder to think what will happen during a second, lame duck campaign when he no longer needs any Jewish support.

Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog “The Lid” (www.jeffdunetz. com). Jeff contributes to some of the largest political sites on the internet including American Thinker, Big Government, Big Journalism, NewsReal and Pajama’s Media, and has been a guest on national radio shows including G. Gordon Liddy, Tammy Bruce and Glenn Beck. Jeff lives in Long Island.

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THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

Opinion

June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

6

Opinion

Hebrew only please!

Davening for college

T

here is a feeling when you’re so exhausted, so sick of slaving away at whatever work you need to do, that light becomes sharp. You look around your room and at your computer screen, and the light’s flare burns and stings your eyes. And all you want is to shut your eyes, to black-out the pains that at that moment are consuming your life-force. You want to crawl into bed but meanwhile fear the moment when you will inevitably need to crawl back out.

There were seFROM THE HEART rious time-periods OF JERUSALEM during high school when this miserable feeling of overwhelming toil took over.

Even with wonderful friends and family by my side, rigorous academics had a terrible potential to impose the most caustic stress.

Then this year came as a breath of Samuel Fisher fresh air. The firm deadlines flew away.

The measured, critical evaluations evaporated. I had a year to work without stress, work that would stretch my intellect and grow my character without devastating my frame of mind.

But last week I had an experience that brought me back into the abyss of stress. I had to take a writing placement exam for college, admittedly not the most significant assignment. But because of Yeshiva trips and Shavuot, my time available to read the extensive source material and write the analytical essay was severely limited.

I opened the test and was shocked to feel the painful flood of pressure rush into me. I worked late into the night, and when I woke up early to continue, I felt that strain in my eyes that was at once so familiar and so unpleasant.

Eventually I was disappointed to look at my watch and see it was time for Shacharit. I had not accomplished even as much as I had hoped by then. Knowing I still had most of the work ahead of me, it seemed irresponsible to take off time now to dav-

A Jewish newspaper should have a Hebrew column. So here it is.

We will try to maintain a level of vocabulary so that it will be easy enough for students to read and interesting enough for those more fluent to enjoy.

Walking on Har Habayit with Zachariah

If I couldn’t take 45 minutes off from a mere placement exam, I didn’t stand a chance in college.

By Rabbi Noam Himelstein

en. I paused. And it dawned on me that if I couldn’t take 45 minutes off from a mere placement exam, I didn’t stand a chance in college. Skipping davening now was too dangerous a statement. So I reluctantly left for Shacharit.

But I was tired and my davening was weak. I was racing through the words out of mindless habit with my mind still stuck on the exam. I knew this was not davening. But I was determined to get something out of it. I hadn’t interrupted my work just to waste my time reading words that meant nothing to me.

I forcefully slowed my breathing. I said sentence after sentence stopping to contemplate each message. When it comes to davening, I believe patience is everything. And the more I worked to focus on the words, the more I was able to put the exam out of my mind. Finally I found myself utterly immersed in my siddur. Each line came to life and directly described an aspect of my life. In the end, it took a stressful setting for me to appreciate the power of tefillah.

It is clear to me, more than ever, that I need davening in my life. I can’t say it was a sudden explosive awareness of the divine obligation that brought me to this conclusion.

Rather my experience absolutely convinced me that davening will enhance my college years. And college is just the beginning of a life of challenges I hope to endow with the blessing of tefillah.

Samuel Fisher grew up in Newton, Massachusetts and graduated from Maimonides School in 2010. He is spending the year studying in Yeshivat Orayta in the Old City of Jerusalem after which he will attend Harvard College.

Rabbi Noam Himelstein studied in Yeshivat Har Etzion and served in the Tanks Corps of the IDF. He has taught in yeshiva high schools, post-high school women’s seminaries, and headed the Torah MiTzion Kollel in Melbourne, Australia. He currently teaches at Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem, and lives with his wife and six children in Neve Daniel, Gush Etzion.

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7 THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

Mensch on the street

By Ariel Rosenbloom

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RUTHY AMIRAM owner of Ruthy’s Gourmet Deli and Catering, Cedarhurst

EPHRAIM BECKER student at Yeshiva Darchei Torah, Far Rockaway

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June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

8

Photo of the Week

Photo courtesy of Rabbi Yossi Bennett

Ateres Yaakov tops HAFTR as season softball champs

By Sergey Kadinsky Following an impressive season by both HAFTR and Mesivta Ateres Yaakov, which included a doubleheader split with 6-2 season records for both, one of the two came out on top. The Varsity Softball Championship, held on June 10 in North Woodmere Park, resulted in a close score where Ateres Yaakov secured the lead in the seventh inning after trailing HAFTR’s Hawks for much of the game.

As late as the bottom of the seventh, the Eagles were trailing the Hawks 5-2. The Eagles fortunes changed when Captain Josh

Burstyn took a walk to first base. He was followed by Shimon Puderbeutel, whose base hit gave the Eagles two occupied bases. A center field shot by Shlomo Farkas further advanced Ateres Yaakov’s position. Ashy Leyman’s hit brought two of the previous runners home with a left field shot.

The tiebreaking hit at the bottom of the seventh was made by Avi Korman, giving Ateres Yaakov its championship for the second year in a row. “The team behaved with menchlichkeit and played with finesse and determination,” said Ateres Yaakov athletic director Rabbi Yossi Bennett. “They didn’t give up even when the chips were down.”

Photo courtesy of Iran180

A grotesque caricature of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was spotted cruising through Midtown Manhattan on his way to Iran180’s Hero Awards, handed out on the steps of City Hall to local activists working to promote human rights in Iran. This year’s recipients are former political prisoners Shabnam Assadolahi and Ahmad Batebi, radio talk show host Homayoun Mobasseri, and former Canadian Parliament member David Kilgour. Iran180 is a coalition of local Jewish, Iranian-American, and human rights organizations, opposed to nuclear proliferation in Iran.

If you have a photograph with a description, from local or afar, please submit to: newsroom@thejewishstar.com

Kulanu Fair brings out community and sunshine

By Sergey Kadinsky When a family walks down the street in the Five Towns and sees a child with a disability, a slightly different appearance, voice, or personality, how does the parent explain to the child that this slightly different child is also special, and an important member of the community?

Increasingly, the answer is found in Kulanu, the 12-year-old Cedarhurst nonprofit that provides support for local families that have children with developmental disabilities.

Teaming up with yeshivas such as HAFTR, HANC, and HALB, Kulanu educates and connects students to its clients, highlighting their abilities and talents. On June 12, Kulanu held its annual fair in Cedarhurst Park, raising funds and promoting its programs to the larger community.

“Everybody has unique abilities. At Kulanu, they learn life skills, functional math, how to use transportation, and vocations such as work in a clothing store,” said Gerry Hanson, who teaches at Kulanu. “Some of the students take mainstream courses and Regents tests.” When Kulanu students are not learning, they unwind in a variety of group activities, including yoga, gym, karaoke and cooking.

Most of the families attending the fair came to show their support for Kulanu and educate their children about Kulanu’s students. “Every child has a neshama, and each person is whole inside. You treat them like anyone else,” said Bayswater mother Shani Stefansky. Standing in line for a slide with his three children, Woodmere father Avraham Friedman, 28, told his children, “We are all created in the image of Hashem.”

Photos by Monica Rzewski

Never too young to start learning karate, 4 year old Ethan Silber The visibility of Kulanu and its students has inspired some local residents to welcome all individuals beyond words. “We lived across the street from a Kulanu family and we hosted them in our home. That made it easier to explain to my kids who they were,” said Woodmere resident Michael Damenstein, a father of four.

Mindy Rosengarten, a founder of Kulanu summarized the goal of the fair, which included The Jewish Star as a sponsor. “For a child with disabilities, they need Kulanu, but for the others who came out here, this is amazing. Everyone is born with strengths and weaknesses. When we all connect, we are all stronger.” Contrary to weather reports, the sun shined on the fair.

Above, view of fair from the slide. Below, Sarah Simon decorates Rachael Gershon’s face with a beautiful flower design.

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By Sandy Eller

Photo courtesy Avi Newmark

Cedarhurst music producer Avi Newmark with his wife Tamar and two of his sons. footsteps.

Described recently by one Jewish magazine as “the producer’s producer,” the secret to Newmark’s success is his unique gift for recognizing talent combined with his ability to bring out the best in every song. Surrounding himself with Jewish music’s elite, Newmark consistently produces one hit album after another by skillfully weaving the tapestry of those unique talents into a body of work that is nothing short of pure musical goodness.

“The biggest names in the Jewish music trust me to handle their music on a daily basis,” said Newmark. “It is an honor and a pleasure to be able to bring the same caliber music to every Nagila simcha.”

Newmark’s signature AN logo can be seen on the covers of Dovid Gabay’s Legabay, and Omar Dovid, Yitzy Spinner’s You and I, Shea Rubenstein’s Ohavti, and Benny Friedman’s Taamu and Ranenu. Other items on Newmark’s resume are the 2010 Chelsea Unplugged Concert Series, where he served as a

Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who has written for various newspapers and magazines, in addition to having written song lyrics and scripts for several full-scale productions.

She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail. com.

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“Go big or go home.” Those were words Cedarhurst resident Avi Newmark heard often growing up in Hillcrest, Queens, as his parents encouraged him to strive for excellence. Newmark, 33, took his parents’ advice to heart, as his recently released seventh album, Nagila V’Nismicha featuring superstar Benny Friedman, sold out its first printing in just two weeks.

Nagila V’Nismicha synthesizes the best elements of his much sought after Nagila Orchestra with his unparalleled abilities as an album producer. The result is a wedding theme album full of surprises, combining an eclectic mix of musical styles in an assortment of new songs, wedding standards and classic selections hand-picked from a diverse collection of albums.

Nagila V’Nismicha is quintessential Newmark, with cutting edge arrangement by Avremi G, a unique song selection from a star-studded list of composers including Yossi Green, Yosef Karduner, Elimelech Blumstein, Naomi Shemer, Pinny Weber, Yigal Calek, Aaron Razel, Mona Rosenblum, Udi Davidi, Yitzy Waldner and more. Benny Friedman transitions seamlessly from Hebrew to Yiddish to English. Enhancing Friedman’s energetic yet heartwarming vocals is stellar choir work by Moishy Roth and Yitzy Spinner and the entire package is polished to perfection by both Newmark and engineer Ian Freitor. Vocalist, HALB second grader Benjamin Newmark, who at just eight years old is clearly following in his father’s very musical

producer, and a stint as host of the weekly Top Ten on the now-defunct Five Towns Radio.

Recognizing the responsibility to use our G-d given gifts to help others, Newmark has elevated his music from a memorable listening experience to a mitzva of the highest order, using his musical connections and creativity for both the moving Berachamim, a fundraising single for Cedarhurst resident Ilan Tocker and Chasoif, a poignant tribute to the victims of the Mumbai massacre.

These days Newmark, a father of three boys, is busier than ever and his Newmark Productions encompasses many endeavors including Nagila Orchestra, concert and media production, in addition to artist representation and management. He is also hard at work on follow up albums with both Benny Friedman and Yitzy Spinner and a solo album with Pi Shnayim’s Sholom Jacobs, also a Cedarhurst resident.

While Newmark’s musical colleagues praise his professionalism, attention to detail and his uncanny ability to know what the listening public wants to hear, Newmark himself is uncomfortable with the accolades he consistently receives. Low key and understated, Newmark prefers to focus on the one thing that matters most: consistently putting out great Jewish music, one project at a time.

THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

Musical Newmark of excellence

Kombucha tea: hard to say... and swallow Some days I love my job more than others. The days I don’t love usually come in sporadic bursts when something akin to journalistic integrity pricks at my consciousness and forces me to address a food item that I desperately do not want to try. In this case a probiotic red tea called Kombucha.

Billed as a “health elixir,” Kombucha is beginning to garner more attention from health conscious consumers as grocery stores begin to THE KOSHER stock this beverage in CRITIC greater quantities. To best convey what Kombucha is I will quote directly from my bottle of GT’s Original flavor Organic Raw Kombucha.

“Kombucha (pronounced kom-BOOcha) is a hand-made Chinese tea that is delicately cultured for 30 days.” In layman’s terms, it is a fermented tea that is given a Zechariah Mehler month to develop various microorganisms thought to be beneficial to a person’s overall health. GT’s Kombucha states on the bottle that though the FDA has yet to evaluate the legitimacy of its health benefits it is known to support “Digestion, Metabolism, Immune System, Appetite Control, Liver Function, Body Alkalinity (my personal favorite), AntiAging, Cell Integrity and Healthy Skin and Hair.” Now far be it from me to dispute the wisdom of drinking a 1000-year-old Chinese

recipe for petri dish tea for the health benefits, because I am neither a scientist nor a nutritionist. I am, however, a food critic and would be remiss if I didn’t address the taste of this increasingly popular beverage. So I went to my local Whole Foods and purchased two bottles of GT’s one in original flavor and the other in Mystic Mango.

Upon opening the first bottle of Original Kombucha I was treated with the unmistakable odor of apple cider vinegar. I found the mouthful of vinegar smelling tea far from tasty. It tastes somewhat like spoiled apple juice. The mango flavored Kombucha has a much more pleasant smell which I think makes it immediately better because of how closely odor and flavor work with each other.

It smells faintly of mango with a slightly sour note. The flavor is light and fruity and tastes like a sour mango soda but with a distinct aftertaste of vinegar. If one where truly dedicated to the Kombucha cause and drank the suggested 16-ounce bottle per day this would probably be the preferred flavor over the original.

A few notes on Kombucha. There are literally dozens of manufactures but I believe the only one to carry a hechsher is GT’s which bears a certification from Rabbi Eli Frankel and the Los Angeles-based Kosher Certification Service. This hashgacha appears as a large C with a small K inside of it.

Kombucha is also very mildly alcoholic due to its live cultures. It is important not to give it to children, as there has been instances of them becoming inebriated. Also, keep in mind this is a live culture, which means the bottle is under internal pressure from gas

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that is being released by the bacteria in the drink so please lease no matter how cloudy your bottle of Kombucha lookss do not under any circumstances nces shake it.

Lastly if you are already an avid Kombucha drinker please keep in mind that Kombucha is highly acidic and is believed (by actual scientists) to contain an abundance of glucuronic acid. This can result in increased stomach acid and liver and kidney trouble. If you begin to get heart burn more regularly or have pain in your liver of kidneys please discontinue drinking Kombucha. If you haven’t started drinking Kombucha and are still curious, please reread this article until you are thoroughly convinced that drinking it is a bad idea.

Zechariah Mehler is a widely published food writer and expert in social marketing. Follow him on Twitter @thekoshercritic

Help us help Mariela Mariela Levy-Bober, 31, is a cancer patient on the verge of death, chas veshalom. Born in Argentina, this Netanya resident has a threeyear-old daughter. Mariela was a successful PhD student at the Tel Aviv-Sourasky Medical Center. On her 30th birthday, Mariela was diagnosed with cervical cancer. During the past five months, she has been treated with very strong chemotherapy treatments, causing weakness and fatigue. Her husband, Martin, is struggling to balance between his job and desire to take care of his wife and family. The doctors recommend her to have a Radiosurgery CyberKnife treatment at the University Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio. This treatment is her last hope! Even though she has medical insurance, the treatment is not covered at all.

Mariela and her family need your help. Any contribution would be appreciated!

Checks made payable to the name below can be mailed to: The Jewish Star 2 Endo Blvd Garden City NY 11530

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The Frisco bris ban‌ a mohel’s musings complications.

The debate has raged on in medical journals over the efficacy and necessary nature of the procedure, with some arguing for it and some arguing against it at all times. The tide has turned to each extreme many times over the last few decades.

Arguments for circumcision include health benefits: lesser chances of penile cancer, HIV and AIDS transmission, STDs, urinary tract infections. The circumcised male organ is much easier to clean, and is therefore much less inviting to bacteria that cause other significant infections. And, in cases of an irregular anatomy, a medical circumcision is sometimes necessary for the sake of the health of the child in question.

Arguments against circumcision include data of botched circumcisions, unnecessary pain, and many arguments in favor of the foreskin whose nerves are highly sensitive and serve an important role in the marital act of intimacy.

Statistics of mishandled circumcisions, especially those resulting in death, are indeed tragic.

I don’t know if they happen more often when done by doctors (or, more often, by inexperienced residents), or by mohels. The anecdotal evidence I have gathered from pediatric urologists and surgeons who do touch-up work is much more critical of doctor-performed circumcisions.

With the proper training, adequate skill, and medical know-how, any practitioner can have the entire procedure done in a relatively short time, with minimal bleeding, and with a quiet,

Photo courtesy of ADL

calm, resting baby already recovering within minutes. When an anesthetic is used, the entire procedure can be pain free.

Here are my reasons for why the San Francisco Bill deserves to be voted down: ■First Amendment rights allow for freedom of religion ■Calling it MGM (Male Genital Mutilation) is an intellectually dishonest move made deliberately to equate circumcision with the horrific Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) practiced in some Third World cultures. No religion advocates FGM. No medical opinion exists in support of FGM, while everyone agrees to its cons. ■Parents have the right to make a religious choice or medically advocated choice that, when done properly, is by no means dangerous to a child – and may even be beneficial. ■The “intactivist� advocates claim it is all about children’s rights. Instead, they obsess about the general societal “need� for males to have foreskins. And a cartoon pamphlet supporting the ban vilified a “Monster Mohel,� suggesting anti-Semitic (or self-hating Jewish) undertones. ■The idea of “letting people choose� at age 18 if they want to be circumcised is ridiculous.

It’s like saying “Don’t educate children – let them decide at 18 if they want an education.�

If at 18 I decide that I want to be circumcised, I will be glad my parents took care of it because I wouldn’t remember the pain. ■Most normal people do not obsess about their foreskins, or lack thereof.

The anti-circumcision people have an unfortunate obsession with their apparent dissatisfaction with physical intimacy, and blame their problems on their lack of foreskin.

Maimonides actually agrees with them in his Guide to the Perplexed, but he also says that the bris helps us have other pursuits in life - holy, spiritual pursuits - as we are not running like chickens to our bedrooms all day.

There are studies of adult males in Africa who underwent circumcision as adults, for the sake of science, specifically to report if they felt any different when engaged in the marital act.

They didn’t.

This is a country that tolerates religious freedom and free choice that does not harm others.

Properly done, circumcision is not harmful, may even be beneficial, and is only problematic to those who may benefit from a few visits to the psychoanalyst.

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n times when Jews were the only people circumcising themselves (Islam did not yet exist, and ancient Egypt was a memory of the past) tyrannical governments and anti-Semitic regimes made themselves the police over Judaism’s oldest practice. The first commandment G-d gave to Abraham was to circumcise himself and all the males of his household. The climax of this commandment came when Yitzchak was born, and Abraham was able to circumcise his baby at the mandated hour, the eighth day of life.

From Talmudic times until today, circumcision was viewed as a “Jewish act� and was the target of anti-Jewish sentiment in ancient Greece, ancient Rome, leading up to czarist and communist Rabbi Avi Billet Russia, as well as Nazi Germany.

Only in the United States of America, where freedom of religion was established in the Constitution, and where from the 1950s on, the option of “routine circumcision� was offered to parents in hospitals and even topped 90 percent participation at times, was circumcision not viewed as being something uniquely Jewish. It has been viewed as an objectively normal procedure, with an inordinately small number of

THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

Health

June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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June 17-18 Rabbi Hershel Schachter speaks

BEIS HAKNESSES OF NORTH WOODMERE, located at 649 Hungry Harbor Road in North Woodmere, is hosting Rabbi Hershel Schachter as its scholar-in-residence. Friday night will be devoted to question-and-answer. For Shabbos morning, Rabbi Schachter will speak on the parsha. A special shiur for women on family planning will be held at 5:45 p.m. The shalosh seudat lecture for men deals with “pertinent halachos in the workplace.” For more information, contact Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz at 516-295-1491 or www.bknw.org.

ON THE

Calendar Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com.

Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

Memorial hockey tournament

YESHIVA HAR TORAH, located at 250-10 Grand Central Parkway in Bellerose, will host the 2011 Martin Weiselberg Memorial Junior High Hockey Tournament. The tournament is dedicated in memory of Marty Weiselberg, father of HANC Junior High Hockey coach, Elliot Weiselberg. Six local school teams will play, including Yeshiva Har Torah, HANC. NSHA, and Yeshiva of Central Queens. The free event begins at 9:15 a.m. and

FRANKLIN HOSPITAL, located at 900 Franklin Avenue in Valley Stream, is holding a free PSA prostate cancer screening for men ages 40 and above. The screening will take place in the fast track area of the hospital from 8 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. No appointments are necessary, but a letter addressed to a participant’s personal physician is recommended. For more information, contact 516-256-6397.

Machane Chodosh anniversary banquet

MK Yaakov Katz speaks at YILC

June 19

Free PSA prostate screening

June 26

June 18 YOUNG ISRAEL OF LAWRENCE-CEDARHURST, located at 8 Spruce Street in Cedarhurst, is hosting Knesset Member Yaakov “Ketzaleh” Katz, who will be speaking about his work in the Knesset to promote Jewish construction in Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria. A veteran of the Yom Kippur War, Katz went on to become a founder of the Gush Emunim movement and heads the Knesset Committee on Foreign Workers. For more information, contact Marvin Shenker at 516-569-3324

June 22

Photo courtesy of Madraigos

On June 6, Lawrence couple Ephraim and Rena Kutner opened their lawn to the public for a benefit reception for Madraigos, an organization that counsels some 600 local Jewish teens through group activities, guidance, and educational programs. Pictured are host Ephraim Kutner, Rabbi Avrohom Halpern of Sh’or Yoshuv, Madraigos founder Rabbi Dov Silver, and supporter Yaakov Gade. runs to 5:30 p.m. For more information, contact Elliot Weiselberg at emw13@aol.com.

June 21

YILB Annual Dinner

YOUNG ISRAEL OF LONG BEACH is holding its annual dinner honoring members Chaim and Linda Neuman, and Charles Kindler. The dinner celebrates the history and members of this synagogue. The event begins at 6:30 p.m. at the White Shul, located at 728 Empire Avenue in Far Rockaway. For more information, contact 516-4312404.

Chabad of Great Neck dinner

CHABAD OF GREAT NECK is holding its 20th anniversary dinner at Temple Israel of Great Neck, located at 108 Old Mill Road in Great Neck.

The dinner honors Silverstein Hebrew Academy founders Raine and Stanley Silverstein, and supporters Carolne & Igal Namdar, Mira& Nathan Cohen, and Robin Muss Abada. The dinner begins at 6:30 p.m. For more information, contact 516487-4554 or dinner20@chabadgn.com

CONGREGATION MACHANE CHODOSH of Forest Hills is holding its 72nd Anniversary Banquet at Rockwood Park Jewish Center, located at 156-45 84th Street in Howard Beach. The event will honor longtime member Jane Stiefel and Talmud Torah director Ricky Schneider on his efforts to provide free weekly Bar Mitzvah and Hebrew classes to public school students, resulting in hundreds of bnei mitzvah since his arrival in 1997. Schneider also lains the weekly parsha at the synagogue and organizes its annual Israel Day Parade contingent. For more information and sponsorships, contact 718-793-5656.

June 29

Israeli American Night

JEWISH COMMUNITY RELATIONS COUNCIL OF LONG ISLAND and the Nassau County Department of Parks are holding an Israeli-American Night at the Chapin Lakeside Theater in Eisenhower Park.

The six-person vocal band Six13 and the Jewish jazz band Metropolitan Klezmer will perform. The free event begins at 7 p.m. For more information, contact David Neuman at 516-677-1866 or newmand@jcrcli.org

West Hempstead author’s positive messages

Koffsky’s Swim-A-Thon

By Brigitte Fixler Many children want to professionally dance or fight fires. For West Hempstead resident Ann Koffsky, the childhood dream has always been to become an artist, which led to her work as a children’s book illustrator.

In turn, this led to her becoming an author of the same books. “I realized I wanted to control the whole story,” said Koffsky. “So I started writing some stories.”

As illustrator and author of more than 20 books, Koffsky is certainly living her dream.

Her first full-length children’s book, Noah’s Swim-A-Thon (URJ Press) tells the story of a young boy who loves everything about summer camp—except for swimming. Noah will not get into the pool until he learns about the camp swim-a-thon, which raises money so less fortunate children will be able to attend camp. Noah must then face his fears and put in a lot of hard work and effort so he can learn in time for the swim-a-thon. The book is inspired by Koffsky’s own experiences working as a lifeguard at Ruach Day Camp for the past 10 years. “[This book is] dedi-

cated to Ruach, and to all the kids willing to take the plunge,” Koffsky said.

Each summer, Ruach holds a swim-a-thon to benefit Chai Lifeline. Koffsky acknowledges the charity by hiding its name in her book’s illustrations. Koffsky also hides the names of her three children, ages 6, 10, and 12, somewhere in each of her books. In Noah’s Swim-A-Thon, their names are written on a sponsor sheet.

Koffsky has given presentations about her books at numerous camps and schools, including Ruach Day Camp and HAFTR. Recently, Koffsky read Noah’s Swim-A-Thon to Morah Rebecca Nenner’s kindergarten class at HANC. “Ann explained the book writing and making process, how it goes from an idea to a book,” said Nenner. “She did a great job, and made it interactive. The children got different parts and acted out the book.”

The book contains some Hebrew words and Jewish elements, but Koffsky said that the story appeals to children of all backgrounds, as the idea of charity is not just a Jewish concept. This was proven recently when Koffsky was invited to speak about her

book at St. Thomas the Apostle School in West Hempstead. As a parent, Koffsky wishes to create stories that parents can feel good about giving to their children. “I look and see what kind of story I would want them to read,” Koffsky said.

While many Jewish children’s stories deal with biblical and European shtetl scenes, Koffsky wants to show that modern settings can be a part of the Jewish experience as well. She makes sure to give over positive messages while showing contemporary Jewish life. For instance, Noah’s Swim-A-Thon teaches kids about the importance of giving tzedakah, while also showing the power of perseverance. “Lots of kids get frustrated that they can’t swim instantly,” Koffsky said. “[The book] illustrates the process of learning to do something hard.”

Noah’s Swim-A-Thon was a PJ Library Selection for the month of June. PJ Library is a national book program that provides children with free books that have Jewish themes. The program works with local organizations and the Harold Grinspoon Foundation (HGF), and to date, more than 15,000

Photo by Brigitte Fixler

Author and illustrator Ann Koffsky with her book Noah’s Swim-A-Thon. copies of Noah’s Swim-A-Thon have been delivered free of charge.

Prior to Noah’s Swim-A-Thon, Koffsky had written over 20 workbooks, craft books, and shorter picture books. Her artwork includes paintings and papercuts, and she has created products ranging from toys to calendars to wedding Ketubot.

13 THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

The Kosher Bookworm

A father’s legacy his view as left-wing were grossly in error.”

Rabbi Eli Herzberg, one of our community’s most distinguished educators, and Rabbi Bunim’s long time neighbor in Far Rockaway, in his tribute to Rabbi Bunim detailed the close relationship that Rabbi Bunim had with his legendary father, Irving Bunim, z’’l, whose legacy documented in the bestselling biography “A Fire in his Soul” [Feldheim, 1989].

Wrote Rabbi Herzberg, “Perhaps it is most appropriate to conclude with the words that Rabbi Bunim wrote about his own father, Irving Bunim: ‘My father was my Rebbe, mentor, and guiding force of my entire life. My soul was and continues to be bound up in his soul. Our deep relationship brought purpose and meaning to my life.

“His love for me extended beyond the parameter of father for son. He was always there when I needed him and always gave me support. He gave me inordinate strength and courage.”

I trust and hope that in light of Rabbi Amos Bunim’s passing his biography of his father will be brought back into publication so as to give a new generation the opportunity to be inspired by the Bunim example of exemplary service on behalf of their faith and their people.

What Rav Soloveitchik said of his father can also be said of the son Rav Amos z”l. “He and his words radiated light, spiritually and physically. He worked for a great ideal and gave himself completely, as a catalyst who guided a movement and was in turn guided by it. He never spoke of himself; he was

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humble, yet energetic and productive. He had a great sense of harmony and kindness and never tried to dominate a situation.”

I wish to conclude this tribute essay with the following that was penned by his good friend, HaRav Yechiel Yitzchok Perr of the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway : His personal friendship, His passion for integrity His ‘old fashioned’ view of Torah values & behavior, His absolute loyalty to every nuance of the teachings of the Gedolim of his time His genuine love for Klal Yisrael and its Torah, His deep humility and modesty will never be replaced.

Upon this sheloshim I am certain that all of Klal Yisrael joins together to say to his family, our neighbors: May they take great comfort and true pride in his great legacy. May the legacy of his life’s work serve as a blessing to them, to us , and to all generations to come.

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s a proud graduate of The Rabbi Jacob Joseph Schools, both elementary and high school, the Bunim name was always in our household. Their presence at many of our school functions was a part of the RJJ legacy and a living legacy to what was the “mama yeshiva’’ of America.

Longtime members of the Young Israel movement, the Bunims were there whenever the need arose during some very difficult and challenging times. The passing a month ago of Rabbi Amos Bunim, of blessed memory, brought to mind one of the earliest inspirations that ultimately resulted in my attending Yeshiva University.

Rabbi Bunim graduated Yeshiva University, magna cum laude, in 1950 with awards in Talmud, political science and Latin. In 1952 he earned his semicha from HaRav Joseph B. Alan Jay Gerber Soloveitchik zt”l, who was to become his lifelong mentor.

In his eloquent tribute to Rabbi Amos Bunim, my good friend Rabbi Yair Hoffman noted that Rabbi Bunim’s “respect for Rav Soloveitchik knew no bounds…. he was tremendously hurt when others mischaracterized him as supportive of modern innovations in Torah tradition. He would often explain that he was present when Rav Soloveitchik explained a certain point and those who characterized

June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

14

Ask Aviva

When parents control Dear Aviva,

I am a married woman with kids. We live near my parents who are extremely helpful, yet sometimes it crosses into overbearing territory. I have grown up with their overbearing ways my whole life, and it never bothered me until now. Now I feel like they are meddling too much in our business, giving us their own (right!) opinions on matters. It’s starting to grate on us. How can I work on being an independent wife and mother yet a respectful daughter as well?

-DaughterWifeMother

Dear DaughterWifeMother,

Cool alias. Insightful too. All of your roles are squished. And the primary one is Daughter. So the answer is in the problem. First of all, put space between your roles. These are called “boundaries.” Next slide “Daughter” to the end of the line. This is called, “Very Painful for Your Parents.” It is also called, “Differentiating yourself from your family of origin.”

This is something that some people never ever do. You know when you see the woman in her mid-40’s who is shopping in the supermarket, about to give her order to the appetizing section guy and her phone starts to ring. She says to the guy, “Oh, hold on a sec,” while the shoppers on line behind her start to get shifty. She picks up. “Hi Ma. I’m in Kosher Super Maven. Yeah…I’m just ordering a quart of pasta salad [As the savvy worker grabs a quart and starts filling it up with noodles.] Why? Because I was on the way to the buy shoes and this was closer….

What? No, I don’t know how much it is in Glatt Delight Kingdom [As the appetizing dude freezes.]…It’s how much? Ok, let me check.” And she looks up, maybe slightly apologetically to the guy and asks the price.

Back to Mommy: “Yeah, it’s cheaper at the other place. [And the quart of pasta salad

is returned to its maker.] But I don’t care, I don’t have time to go across town. It’s worth it to me for my time…What? Oh, ok, Daddy is going there anyway? Ok, yeah, he can pick some up for me. Thanks.” [Click]. The patrons behind her start placing their orders, and our protagonist says, “Excuse me, I’m still ordering.” The poor appetizing guy musters out his best How-Can-I-Help-You smile and she places her order, with both of her ears unencumbered by any maternal influence. “I’d like a quart of pasta salad please.”

Resigned and bewildered, her server fills up the quart with an amalgam of tri-colored spirals, peppers, mushrooms and olives. She thanks him, twirls on her heel and bumps right into her mother’s BFF. “Oh, hi Sandy!

I didn’t realize you were right behind me!

Wow! Heh, heh! What a small world!” Then she digs her fingers into Sandy’s arm, brings her face real close and gruffs, “What goes on in Kosher Super Maven stays in Kosher Super Maven. Capisce?”

So what could our heroine have done differently? She could either lie to her mother and say she was getting a pedicure, she could have said to her mom, “Well, I’m not a big cheapskate like you are and I don’t care about the 15 cent differential, freako!”, or she could have not picked up the phone in the first place, or pick up and tell her that she’ll “call her back in a few” and quickly hang up, or she could have stood her ground and said that she appreciates the input but is going to have to make her purchase in the fine establishment that she is currently standing in.

Any of the above choices would have been fine. Well, ok, not just any of them…I threw in a couple of decoys just to test your judgment.

The basic rule of thumb here is that you can say anything as long as your words and tone and timing are appropriate. This will

be a painful process for your folks, but that doesn’t mean that you are doing wrong. Tell hubby that you are embarking on the mission of disengagement and tell him that you will need him to repeat “You can do it.” Go for it,

you independent woman you!

-Aviva Aviva Rizel is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice who can be reached at AvivaRizel.MFT@gmail.com.

Ask Aviva and Meir Rizel to speak in Queens

Aviva and her husband Meir Rizel will be speaking on June 20 and 27 at Yeshiva Ohel Simchah. The topics are “Finding the Right One Without Losing Yourself” at the first lecture; and “Marriage: The Act of Compromise” at their second event. Meir Rizel is the Director of Men’s Education at Shalom Task Force and Deputy Director of SHALOM Workshop. The women-only lecture begins at 9 p.m. The yeshiva is located at 141-41 72 Avenue in Kew Gardens Hills. For more information, contact litehouseinfo@gmail.com.

Parsha Shelach

The Soundness of Silence T

hey reported to him and said, “We arrived at the Land to which you sent us, and it indeed flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. But- the people that dwells in the Land is powerful, the cities are fortified and very great and we saw there offspring of the giant….”

(Bamidbar 13:27-28) What had the spies done so awfully wrong that delayed our ancestors’ aliyah by 40 years? A great deal of ink has been used trying to explain their tragic flaw and unconscious motives, but it may really boil down to one word.

Years ago, I had the Rabbi Label Lam honor and privilege to hear the following story from Rabbi Shimshon Pincus zt”l. He told us about a fine young man who had earned a marvelous shidduch with a prominent family. This young man was an only child born to his parents after 24 years of marriage. Rabbi Pincus had asked the father if he had any sense of why they

merited having a child that year. Had there been any unusual incident?

After 23 years of childlessness, approaching the edge of despair the husband did what amounts to an act of desperation. He had heard that on the other side of Jerusalem there was a small hasidic synagogue that held out a special promise. Anyone who would attain for himself on Yom Kippur the honor of Maftir Yonah would most certainly have his request answered. With that hope he uprooted himself from his usual place in the yeshiva where he had a seat of honor, and traveled to unfamiliar territory where he would be a stranger on a backbench. He arrived early enough on the eve of Yom Kippur and arranged for a hefty price the coveted Maftir Yonah.

After Kol Nidre and all the evening prayers while exiting the synagogue he noticed another young man like himself also not dressed like a Hasid seeming slightly out of place. He approached and asked him why

he was praying here in this particular shteibl for Yom Kippur. The young fellow told his tearful tale that he and his wife had been married for almost three years and they had not yet been blessed with children. He had heard that whoever would attain Maftir Yonah in this synagogue would be granted their heart’s desire and he hoped to put in a modest bid for Maftir Yonah the next day.

The man just listened with astonishment. He could have slammed him with the sad news that he had already locked up the important honor for himself and made a good case why he was more deserving but he said nothing.

He just picked himself up and left returning to the other side of Jerusalem.

That year his wife gave birth to their child.

He felt that his deepest wish was granted that year not because he got Maftir Yonah but rather because he didn’t say a word and he let someone else have it instead.

Sure the spies had all kinds of hidden reasons and agendas but none of that became

If only the spies could have held back, and not said that one extra word

relevant or were actually punishable until they spoke out what should not have been said.

If they would have remained disciplined in their speech, then no harm would have been done, but when they said that one word “but” their world began to unravel. Whenever I am invited to speak, I have a strong sense that the host is less concerned that I know what to talk about and more worried that I should not say something offensive or inappropriate. If only the spies could have held back, and not said that one extra word, who knows what blessings may then have flowed like milk and honey in the merit of the soundness of silence.

Rabbi Label Lam is a well-known public speaker and co-founder of the Monsey-based Foundations for Jewish Learning. His insights on the weekly parsha are received by more than 15,000 subscribers. He can be reached at rabbilabellam@gmail.com Rabbi Avi Billet’s Parsha column can be found online this week at www.thejewishstar.com. See his article on page 11 of this edition.

“ENCHANTING�

THE JEWISH STAR June 17, 2011 • 15 SIVAN 5771

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