July 8, 2011 - The Jewish Star

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Local football coach in Jerusalem Page 3 Entebbe: our mission today Page 6 The Best of my Worst: Krantz speaks Page 8 Ask Aviva: Too frum? Page 13

THE JEWISH

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VOL 10, NO 26 ■ JULY 8, 2011 / 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

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I went to the ohel on Gimel Tammuz

Divide and inspire By Shira Nesenoff Rebbe Menachem Mendel Shneerson zt’l was a prominent chasidic rebbe who led the Chabad movement. In order to spread his message of Jewish outreach, he sent out Chabad emissaries all over the world to inspire Jewish communities of all sizes. On July 5, the Rebbe’s Gimmel Tammuz yahrtzeit, when I walked through a line separating male and females all leading towards an extravagant grave, conflict arose in my head as to what to say as I approached the ohel. I planned on a series of tehillim to recite in order to keep occupied and focused. Finally after walking down the narrow row I approached the Rebbe’s grave. There were women all with heads bent into siddurim, rocking back and forth. Suddenly I felt I could no longer breathe. Something was blocking the passageway from my lung to my mouth. I swallowed and tears rolled down my face. Maybe it was my contact lens bothering me, or the wind drying out my eye, but

Photo courtesy of the Derie family

Paratrooper Erez Derie z”l at the Kotel Plaza.

Write On For Erez!

Continued on page 3

Local students need $26K more By Rebecca Hia

Photo by Adam Nesenoff

Lubavitch hasidim gather at the ohel.

On a windy day this past February, 44 Jewish teenagers from the New York area stood upon Har Herzl, Israel’s largest military cemetery, to gain a broader understanding of Israeli casualties and the brutal truth of fighting to protect one’s country. The teenagers were part of the Write On For Israel high school Israel advocacy program, meeting with

Israeli officials, IDF soldiers, and media correspondents. At the cemetery, the Write On For Israel chapter encountered an Israeli couple mourning the loss of their son, Erez Derie, 21, who died shortly after a military operation in 2006, in the city of Jenin. Penina, Erez’s mother, invited the students to discuss her son’s life and the impact of his death on his family. She shared that Erez was a paratrooper

and was killed just a few days before his 22nd birthday. While listening to the heartfelt sobs of his mother, she spoke of her dream to dedicate a Torah scroll in memory of her son. The students made a promise to help the family realize that dream. The group, whose mission is to train high school students to become Israel advocates on college campuses through journalism and public speaking, decided Continued on page 3

Shabbat Candlelighting: 8:11 p.m. Shabbat ends 9:19 p.m. 72 minute zman 9:41 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Balak

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From Scotland to Cedarhurst: songs with dedication

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By Sandy Eller The first thing you notice when you talk to singer Sholom Jacobs is the accent. I couldn’t quite place it. Perhaps English? A bit South African maybe? I was wrong on both counts. The son of Chabad shluchim, Jacobs, 33, was born and raised in Glasgow, Scotland, where he began his musical career as a child singing in shul, school choirs and concerts ran by his father. Jacobs left Scotland at 16, spending three years learning in an Israeli yeshiva before finally settling in New York. While Jacobs’ home is in Cedarhurst, his music has taken him to many exotic destinations. Not only has Jacobs served as the chazzan for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur at Chabad of Long Island, he has also taken the amud on the Yomim Noraim in Glasgow at the Giffnok and Newlands Hebrew Congregation, the largest Orthodox synagogue in Scotland, where he was accompanied by a ten man choir. Jacobs has performed in conventional and off the beaten path venues, including numerous concerts in Poland and England. “I try to bring music to places that can’t afford the big shows,� Jacobs said. “A lot of places don’t have fifteen to twenty thousand dollars for a concert, but for just a fraction of the cost we can bring beautiful Jewish music to people who can’t afford the big names.� Jacobs’ first album, a collaborative effort with fellow musician Aryeh Pearlman came about after the pair did a kumzitz together in England. “I had been working on a solo album for Continued on page 6

July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Continued from page 1 to take on a new responsibility. “Although not the mission of the program, our students were able to connect with a grieving Jewish family,” Linda Scherzer, the Director of the Write On For Israel New York Division, said. “When Write On For Israel began ten years ago, buses were exploding in the heart of Israeli cities and yet Israel was being blamed for the collapse of the peace process. Today, while the security situation is less tenuous, Israel’s detractors continue to vilify and delegitimize the state of Israel, making the need for Israel advocates on college campus at least as great today as it was a decade ago.” This upcoming year marks the program’s tenth anniversary in preparing Jewish teenagers for the difficult task of defending Israel on college campuses. Israel defamers have now embarked on a mission to cause Jewish students to be conflicted about their support for Israel. The struggle to remain a supporter has become increasingly difficult with events such as Israeli Apartheid Week plaguing universities across North America. The Write On For Israel program has produced legions of pro-Israel activists on college campuses and continues to do so amidst dwindling patronage and heightened anti-Israel sentiments. The organization recognizes that the fate of the Jewish future rests in the hands of today’s youth who will grow up and

become the next leaders, politicians, and reporters. “I fight for our country here in battle and you fight for our country in your schools and in the media; both of us are necessary,” the IDF general at the Golani Base told the Write On For Israel students in February. This week marks the launch of the “Write On For Erez” summer campaign. This campaign’s goal is to raise $40,000; enough to pay for the Torah scroll which the Derie family will dedicate to their synagogue in Ma’aleh Adumim. The Write On For Israel students hope to complete this project in time for Rosh Hashana, so that the family can look forward to a year full of blessings and Torah learning for their community. The students have raised $14,000 so far and hope to see this project into fruition to fulfill their commitment to the Derie family’s dream. Write On For Israel believes that Israeli soldiers fight for Jews across the world to be able to have a homeland, and therefore Jews cannot turn down a plea from any of their brothers. The following Long Island students are members of the Write On For Israel program and the “Write On For Erez” Torah project: Jonathan Beer- Woodmere, Rivka CohenWest Hempstead, Elana Dure- Woodmere, Alison Freudman- Great Neck, Adam HechtGreat Neck, Daniel Koas- Huntington, Ahava Muskat- Oceanside, Michael Weiss- Roslyn

Any and all donations are appreciated and tax deductible for 2012. All checks should be addressed to Rambam Mesivta. Memo: Write On For Erez Please mail checks to: Rabbi Yotav Eliach (Write On For Israel’s Core Educator) 15 Frost Lane Lawrence, NY 11559 Rabbi Eliach can be contacted at: ravyotav@rambam.org Heights, Aaron Wolff- Great Neck, Marissa Young- West Hempstead. For more information about the “Write On For Erez” Torah fund, please contact Rebecca Hia at hiar@bxscience.edu. For more information about the Write On For Israel program visit www.writeonforisrael.org. Rebecca Hia is a senior at the Bronx High School of Science and lives in Kew Gardens Hills, New York. She is a member of the Write On For Israel program, President of the Bronx High School of Science’s Judaic Cultural Society. She is the New York Jewish Student Union Coordinator, and a regional board member of NCSY.

Photo by Rebecca Hia

Members of Write On For Israel console Erez’s mother at his graveside

Rebbe’s inspiration at the ohel

Queens coach makes pass to Jerusalem By Sergey Kadinsky Avigdor “Randy” Yonah grew up in a state that prized football, but with few Jews around, his observance of Torah was a private affair, known to only a few. After a decade of growth in his Orthodoxy, Jonas is set to return to Jerusalem on Aug. 3 for his second year as the assistant coach of the Jerusalem Lions football team, living his dream of football greatness in the holy city. “I’ve coached Texas high school football for 20 years. Nobody knew I was Jewish,” Yonah, 58, said. Feeling conflicted between the sport and his faith, he snuck in a bottle of grape juice, challah, and candles to his coach’s office, he made the blessing. “Nobody was allowed in my office, but one day a senior player walked in and asked me what this was.” Hoping to avoid a religious debate in the heavily Christian community, Yonah said that he was praying for his Fort Stockton team to win. As his observance grew, he left the Texas panhandle and football for Forest Hills, where he met his wife Denise Temime. Born to a Moroccan Jewish family and raised in Israel, her world was very different from Jonas, who grew up in an intermarried household. Yonah appreciated the richness of Jewish life in New York, while homesick for football. “I’d watch two games every Sunday and the Monday night game. To Denise, they all looked the same.”

THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

A Torah for the memory of Erez

Photo by Sergey Kadinsky

Avigdor Yonah and his wife Denise Temime, are making aliyah to Jerusalem, where he will be coaching the Jerusalem Lions team. The couple took an active role at their Queens synagogue, but Yonah’s newfound observance pulled him towards greater spiritual heights as he spent months volunteering in Israel, expressing a desire to make aliyah. “When I got there, I camped out in Tzfat for a week, then I took a bus to Jerusalem. I passed by a field near the Central Bus Station and I thought I heard a punt, then a whistle. It’s a very distinct sound. The sound of football,” Yonah said. Peering over the fence, he caught an Israeli high school team playing American football at Kraft Stadium, which was built by New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft. On his second night in the holy city, Yonah saw the semi-pro Jerusalem Kings, followed

by the Lions on his third night. The match was made, as Yonah approached the coach to talk football and was hired as the Lions’ offensive coordinator last summer. Settling in Ma’aleh Adumin, he changed the gentile Jonas last name to the Hebrew Yonah. While baseball in Israel came with hype followed by a financial collapse in 2008, football is limited to a tight following of sabras and olim, which Yonah credits for its survival. “These players grew up watching the game at home at 4 a.m. One of our players owns the Lion’s Den, a football bar,” Yonah said. The coach estimates average game attendance at 300, which balloons to 1,400 during playoffs. The eight-person teams of the Israel Football League play under NCAA rules, and a schedule around the military reservists on the team. “A big war can stop the season. Most of my team served in Lebanon and Gaza. It bothers them that they are always on call,” Yonah said. The league launched in 2005 and expanded to its eighth team, the Herzliya Hammers in 2008. As Yonah prepares for his August return to Israel, his wife will be joining him, having retired from her career as a clothing designer. But Denise won’t be the only woman in his new Israeli life. “This year we are starting women’s tackle football,” Yonah said, describing a new program for college-age players. “They’re way more aggressive than the men. When they run, they put their faces right in it.”

Continued from page 1 that was not it. Something about this scene had touched me. The Rebbe’s soul had already been a strength in my life. He had sent out my Chabad rabbi to Stony Brook, a town on the north shore of Long Island, where I now daven, enjoy shabbos meals and celebrate holidays. It is because of this Rebbe that I say Modeh Ani when I arise and when I say Shema before I sleep. Many believe that Rebbe Shneerson’s accomplishment was that he spread Yiddishkeit by dividing up the rabbis into different regions of the world, but his real accomplishment was that he brought unity to a divided nation. Not unity by bringing Jewish communities together, but rather internal unity amongst all Jews. He taught that real unity and wholeness in oneself can be found through recognizing one’s relationship with the One above. In the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Album, a man asks his dying teacher, what are you most afraid of about dying? The teacher ponders this question then proceeds to answer that he is not afraid of passing, he is afraid of passing twice. The teacher goes on to say that it is one’s second death that marks his soul and his wisdom not being remembered that most scares him. Although thousands may visit the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s grave on Gimmel Tammuz and all year long, this soul has not passed on for his spirit and message still live clear and loud in this world. This week Shira Nesenoff begins her journey in Israel with 40 JSU teenagers as an NCSY TJJ Ambassador.

July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Opinion Are Jewish voters abandoning Obama?

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t seems as if the straw has broken the camel’s back. According to multiple sources, Democrats of the Jewish faith are waking up to the fact that Barack Obama is not a friend of Israel. And many of them are considering holding back their campaign donations and their votes back from the President’s re-election campaign. Giving further credence to the reports, the re-election campaign is taking additional steps to “spin” the administration’s Israel story to make it seem more favorable to the Jewish State. Ben Smith of Politico interviewed dozens of Jews who supported the President in 2008 and reported this typical story. “David Ainsman really began to get worried about President Barack Obama’s standing with his fellow Jewish Democrats when a recent dinner with his wife and two other couples — all Obama voters in 2008 — nearly turned into a screaming match.” Ainsman, a prominent Democratic lawyer and Pittsburgh Jewish community leader, was trying to explain POLITICO that Obama had just been ofTO GO fering Israel a bit of “tough love” in his May 19 speech on the Arab Spring. His friends disagreed — to say the least. One said he had the sense that Obama “took the opportunity to throw Israel under the bus.” Another, who swore he wasn’t getting his information from the mutually despised Fox News, admitted he’d lost faith in the president.” But it wasn’t just this particular speech, it seems as if it Jeff Dunetz is a cumulative effect of all of the times Obama has thrown Israel and its leaders under the bus since he was elected president. “It’s less something specific than that these incidents keep on coming,” said Ainsman. Ainsman is correct. Obama’s “war on Israel” began just a few days after his inauguration with the appointment of Samantha Power to the National Security Council (Power once famously called for an invasion of Israel to force her to accept a peace plan.) And was quickly followed up with his Cairo speech where he downplayed the role of terrorism, made Hamas seem like a rowdy boys glee club, called for the internationalization of Jerusalem, and used the Palestinian party line (that Israel owes its existence to the Shoah) to describe the Israeli presence not only in the Judea and Samaria but its VERY existence at all. Perhaps in response to the reports or due to some internal polling, the President’s re-election campaign is planning to send out surrogates to go on the offensive against pro-Israel groups critical of the presi-

dent’s Israel policy. According to the Washington Post this Obama Jew-squad will include Jewish Obama fundraisers, such as former Conference of Presidents leader Alan Solow, former U.S. Reps. Mel Levine and Robert Wexler, and billionaire Penny Pritzker, whose fundraising rolodex was a major factor in the 2008 campaign. This group of house-Jews will work hard to convince that Obama is really pro-Israel, but short of Bobby Ewing stepping out of the shower and claiming the last two years were just a bad dream, or lying, I am at a loss at how they will be able to convince people that the President is really a buddy of the Jewish State. The effort to make this point will also be proactive with surrogates publishing op ed pieces that represent the White House’s point of view. It will include a renewed effort to highlight other aspects of Obama’s record that have gone under-discussed, like increased military cooperation between Israel and the United States. But this point is very true, the fact that this is becoming a key effort of the Obama administration is more proof that the re-election campaign is either losing Jewish money or internal polls are beginning to show that many Jews are considering either voting GOP or at the very least not voting for President in 2012. The truth is even hard-core pro-Israel Jews do not vote on only one issue. The only Democrat that didn’t receive the majority of the Jewish vote was Jimmy Carter when he ran for re-election. Certainly Israel wasn’t the only reason that 55% of American Jews voted against Jimmy Carter in 1980. But, just as what happened 31 years ago, Barack Obama’s antiIsrael policies are causing liberal Jews to take the rose-tint off their glasses and evaluate what has happened since January 2009. Despite that Obama will most likely receive the majority of the Jewish vote, albeit a smaller percentage than in 2008, but should trends continue (and depending who the GOP nominates) many Jewish Democrats may “skip” the President line at the voting booth and concentrate on the remaining candidates. While Jews do not make up a major segment of voters, they could be making the difference in key battleground states such as Florida, Pennsylvania, Nevada and Ohio. Whether the President’s PR Hebrew hit squad is successful or not, its formation is an indication that the reports are true, the reelection committee is getting a bit nervous about losing the Jewish vote in 2012. Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog “The Lid” (www.jeffdunetz.com). Jeff contributes to some of the largest political sites on the internet including American Thinker, Big Government and Big Journalism. Jeff lives on Long Island.

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Name calling The liberals call them conservatives And the hard liners call them leftists The free thinkers call them close-minded And the open-minded call them Reconstructionists

DAVID’S HARP

The traditionalists call them Renewal And the Orthodox call them ‘chiloni’ The secularists call them right wing And the Reform call them ‘haredi’ The observant call them ‘apikores’ And the modern call them black hat The non observant call them religious nuts And the ‘seruga’ call them ultra this and ultra that The kibbutzniks call them Chasidim And the settlers call them Mesorati The progressives call them Zionists And the Conservatives call them ‘dati’

David F. Nesenoff

The religious call them ‘baal teshuva’ And the zealots call them true The shomer shabbos call them ‘mechalel’ And the anti-Semites just call them “Jew”

Rachel Green, our summer intern

The Jewish Star staff welcomes Rachel Green as our summer intern. Rachel grew up in Woodmere and is a junior at North Shore Hebrew Academy. When Rachel is not practicing journalism with the North Shore Notes, she is an accomplished artist. We look forward to her reporting and editing. The Kosher Critic Zechariah Mehler is off this week. His column will return next week.

Yankie & Luzer By David F. Nesenoff

My Shabbos timer became shomer Shabbos

5 THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

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Opinion Beyond Entebbe: our mission

I

remember it like it was yesterday. While millions of Americans celebrated their nation’s independence, we were all glued to our radios and television sets waiting for news of the fate of the Israeli hostages hijacked on an Air France jet and being held captive in Uganda. The terrorists, who had already separated the Israeli hostages and those Jewish sounding FROM THE HEART names in a selection OF JERUSALEM reminiscent of darker times, had announced they would start murdering hostages unless Israel started releasing terrorists. Technically, this was a French issue, as the Air France jet was French sovereign territory, but it was clear no one (save the brave Air France crew) was sending anyone into harm’s way for a Rabbi Binny planeload of Jews and Freedman Israelis; once again, the Jews were alone. With their back up against the wall, and a disaster in the making, Israel dared to dream the impossible. Israeli commandos, flying 2000 kilometers over enemy territory, landed Hercules planes deep in the heart of Africa, taking over the Entebbe (Uganda) airport and freeing the hostages. In 90 minutes that electrified the world, some 200 modern day heroes risked everything to take a stand: 30 years after the Holocaust, the world was made to take notice: Jewish blood was no longer free for the taking. And Jews everywhere walked a little taller This past week marked 35 years since that historic raid on Entebbe, and it is worth considering one of the questions that still reverberates from that raid. In 1948, we built this state, were willing to suffer and even die for it, because there was no other choice. But today there is a choice. In fact, there are lots of them. A Jew can go to America, to the West, to the East, even back to Germany. So with a nuclear Iran around the corner and a missile’s launch away, Hezbollah threatening an Islamic terror state to our north, and the post Arab Spring uncertainty to our south maybe we should be asking ourselves: why are we here? Why should we be willing to die for this? Why do we need the State of Israel? Do we need a Jewish state? After all, a Jew today can live a wonderful Jewish life in many different places all over the world, with wonderful Jewish schools, plenty of kosher restaurants, an abundance of beautiful synagogues and close-knit Jewish communities, with wonderful homes and great jobs, and they don’t have to be willing to die for it! So why should we? Why not go to America? To be sure, there are many here in Israel (I would posit most Israelis) who believe that we do need a Jewish State. Indeed, the two issues that form a consensus amongst the overwhelming majority of Jewish Israelis are that Arab refugees and their offspring cannot be given the right of return, and that we should not give up Jerusalem as the capital of the State of Israel. Both of these consensus issues are clearly about the need for a Jewish state. Yet most Israelis cannot articulate why we need a Jewish state.

At Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem’s Old City, we have a leadership training program both for post high school students spending a year with us before heading off to college as well as for rabbinical students in our fellowship program, looking to gain skills towards becoming better educators and leaders. And one of the topics that comes up consistently is the need to be organized, in order to achieve one’s goals. In order to accomplish anything in this world, you need to know your mission, or goals; you need to have defined what you are trying to accomplish. And you need a system to accomplish it. The first thing G-d does upon creating mankind is to place us in the Garden of Eden. In our synagogues, the Torah scroll, which contains the essence of our mission as a people, has a very specific place, in the Ark, because anything which does not have a place, cannot fulfill its mission. The first thing G-d asks of the very first Jew is to take a journey, to a very specific place where this people can best achieve its goals. People are often confused regarding the Jewish people because they are unclear as to whether we are a religion or a nation. A religion is a collection of beliefs. But a nation is not a nation unless it has a place. We are both a religion as well as a nation. And for a variety of reasons which stem back 4000 years to the time when we first received our mission, this land is our place. And it is only in this place that we can achieve our mission. Thousands of years ago, a rag-tag band of former slaves accepted a mission; to make the world a better place; to be a light unto the nations; to be a partner in making this world a better place for all human beings. And in order to be such a light, we need to be a model, a visible example of what the world could be. And we can only be that light, that model, in this place. Long ago, we forgot our mission; we lost our sense of purpose and as such we lost our G-d given right to be in this place, and were forced to wander the face of the earth, scattered amongst the nations, unable to fully achieve our purpose. Today, after two thousand years of wandering and dreaming, we have come home, to the place where we can finally return to our mission, our calling to helping to build a better world. And the world needs us to achieve that mission, not just for the Jewish people, but for human beings everywhere. Every nation is created by G-d, and thus every nation has a purpose, and this is ours: to make the world a better place; to be a light. Thirty-five years ago on a lonely strip of runway deep in the heart of Africa, a small band of brave men rekindled that light for all the world to see, and as a result the world became a better place. We owe it to the memory of those that fell then, and since, to make sure that light continues to grow, here, in the land of Israel today, and every day. And every Jew everywhere owes it to our future generations, and to the world, to at least consider, that maybe it is time to come home, and be a part of that light. Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem. Rav Binny Freedman, Rosh Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem’s Old City is a Company Commander in the IDF reserves, and lives in Efrat with his wife Doreet and their four children. His weekly Internet ‘Parsha Bytes’ can be found at www.orayta.org

Cedarhurst musician travels to inspire Continued from page 2 a while,” Jacobs said. “Aryeh and I had been singing together for years. We sang at a hotel in England and someone suggested we do a duet album. We released Pi Shnayim, a collection of Yossi Green songs with music by Moshe Laufer, in 2005.” Two years later, Jacobs released another album, titled A Gut Yohr. Arranged by Avram Zamist, it features selections highlighting the music of Shabbos and the Yomim Tovim. Jacobs, producer of the album as well as one of the vocalists, described it as “songs of our past, with the voices of our future,” and in fact, several singers in the album have since made Jewish music albums, including Eitan Katz, Jonathan Shlagbaum and Yumi Lowy. This past year found Jacobs, not only traveling all across the United States performing at Shabbatons and concerts, but in Scotland and Poland as well. In fact, this was the third time that Jacobs, together with Zamist, has gone back to Poland to perform. Jacobs has never gone to visit any of the former concentration camps in Poland, saying he prefers to inspire the living. He estimates that there are approximately six to eight thousand Jews living in Poland. Jacobs and Zamist are already working on a Chanukah tour for next winter and so far, it

looks like the Jewish community of either Argentina or Russia will be hearing the music. “Having worked and performed with Sholom for over 10 years, I can truly say that he is one of the most dedicated, professional artists I have ever worked with,” Zamist said. “Whether performing in Milwaukee, Wisconsin or Krakow, Poland, Sholom brings an energy that audiences simply fall in love with. His unique and warm voice adds to his performances and recordings alike.” Jacobs is now hard at work on his third album under the direction of producer and Cedarhurst neighbor Avi Newmark. The album, which aims to inspire, features a number of moving English songs: one about an autistic child, another in honor of Jacobs’ parents and all the Chabad shluchim in remote locations and the third song is dedicated in memory of nine-year-old Levi Yitzchak Wolowik, son of the Five Towns shluchim, who passed away unexpectedly two years ago. Jacobs is hoping to see the album in stores sometime around next Chanukah. Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who has written for various newspapers, magazines and websites in addition to having written song lyrics and scripts for several full scale productions. She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail.com.

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July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

6

By Ariel Rosenbloom

Would you make aliyah? “Yes, I would want to live in Israel. I went there for a summer with my family and we had a great time.�

“I would make aliyah because it’s my homeland, my culture, and the place I feel safest in.�

AZI BARAFF 3 years old, Yeshiva Darchei Torah, Far Rockaway

LAUREN SAND 8th grade, HAFTR, Woodmere

REBECCA HIA 12th grade, Bronx Science High School, Kew Gardens Hills

“Yes. The reason is at the end of the day, but before the end of days, we all should.�

“Yes, one day. For now I’m going on NCSY Ambassadors for the summer.�

“Yes, I plan on making aliyah within the next 5-10 years. It’s where all the Jews should be; it’s a religious imperative.�

DAVID MANN financial advisor, Lawrence

SHIRA NESENOFF 12th grade, Ward Melville, Stony Brook

SHELLEY COHEN special needs consultant, Manhattan

“Yes, because I could daven to Hashem at the Kotel.�

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THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

Mensch on the street

7

A “Best of my Worst� date By Sergey Kadinsky One year ago, the Queens-raised Goldy Krantz, 30, took stock of her most unusual shidduch dates and stories of her friends’ dates, putting them in print as Best of my Worst. Since then, she has become a soughtafter speaker at singles events, even while insisting that her views are personal and by no means an indicator of her expertise on the topic. The social worker took time from her dates to sit down with this author for a chat. Sergey Kadinsky: How do you promote your positive view on dating without putting down the bad dates, those that disappoint? Goldy Krantz: I don’t feel that people will want to read about misery, this is about experience that people can relate to. I have friends who have been let down by shidduch dating. Hopefully people can laugh because I’m not crying over these experiences. SK: Suppose a date does not do well, how do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings or leading them on further? GK: First, I would never text someone, it’s very impersonal. You have to feel the person and not do it in a rude way. Recommend them to a friend, be up front and don’t play with someone’s emotions. End it in a positive way. SK: I’ve noticed that in your book, you often comment on your dates’ driving, especially if they drive too slow. GK: Sometimes the girl feels like the guy is

in control. He drives, he pays, and if it’s not shayach, how do you end it? You’re at their mercy. Hopefully, it’s not so horrible that you would jump out of the car. SK: How should the man approach the first date, so that he could make it to second and beyond? GK: The first couple of dates are to see if you can stand being together. You don’t know whom you are dating. If it’s coffee, it’s fine, just don’t overstay your welcome. Hold a little back so that you will have something to discuss on your second date. SK: Back to the book. The date you had with Dave of Belle Harbor. The man spent the date tearing into his grandmother who has Alzheimer’s and his “ugly� older sister who is still single. How did you deal with that? GK: First of all, the names and towns have all been changed. I was disgusted by him, but my friend kept telling me to understand him. He thought he was funny. I kept an open mind. You have to know that you gave it your all and did not let it pass. With one date recently, I was having a good time and overlooked a big issue. I looked at the person and what could be and whether I said no for the right reasons. SK: You live in Kew Gardens Hills. Not exactly Upper West Side when it comes to singles events. GK: This community enables networking. My [married] friends invite me over and they have single friends. Living with families gets you down to tachlis.

SK: For those who are single beyond 30, or divorced with children, how are they holding up? GK: I have one friend who gets depressed. She only goes to shuls and restaurants where nobody knows her. Only in the frum community do they ask what is wrong with her. That’s the mentality. SK: Since your book came out, are you overwhelmed with shidduch offers? GK: I’ve gone out with some of them. I recently spoke in Florida to a packed room of 100 people. They did not expect Goldy to be a real person. Someone I met in Florida told me to read this book, not knowing I am the author. SK: And how is the book working out for you? GK: Eichler’s in Borough Park was not sure if

the book was right for their audience. They put it in a back shelf in saran wrap and it still sold out several times. People found it eyeopening. One girl who is not Jewish said that bad dates are universal and she is not alone. Even though some Jewish publishers did not publish my manuscript, they were fascinated and asked me if they could share it with their children. SK: Can I take a photo for my paper? GK: Let’s not. I like to keep people guessingit adds intrigue. They’ll come to my speaking engagements. When Goldy finds her bashert, don’t expect a book. She vows to keep the simchah private. Best of my Worst can be found in most local Jewish bookstores and through her site www.bestofmyworst.com. A portion of the book proceeds go to a Hachnasas Kallah Fund to assist couples with wedding costs.

July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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9 THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

:[\JR PU [OL *P[` [OPZ :\TTLY& Can’t make it to the Catskills? Visit us in

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July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

10

The Kosher Bookworm

A broad view of narrow places

W

ith the advent of the month of Tammuz now almost a week behind us, it is time to consider some of the better quality literature that will surely help us to understand the themes that make this season the most somber on the Jewish calendar. Last year the Orthodox Union, together with Koren Publishers, published a Kinot based upon the works of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, zt”l. This same collaborative has once again come to produce an elegant and informed compendium of inspirational readings timely geared to the Shiva Assar B’Tammuz to Tisha B’Av period, with a brief concluding essay for the 10th of Av. This small 125-page collection of meditations, “In The Narrow Places,” was written by writer and educator Dr. Erica Brown. The book presents to the reader a short essay for each of the twenty-one days of the three-week observance. According to Brown, this work was aimed to help us better understand what we lost as a nation both historically and in current application, thus justifying the mournful tone. This is especially needed given the distance in both time and Alan Jay Gerber on the ground realities that have made for us Jews today experienced in the contradiction of mourning for a Jerusalem that we see today in full bloom, while the Temple Mount still stands in ruins. Most of the essays are themed to Biblical texts that are found in our sacred liturgy on the Sabbaths and fast days of this time of year. Halachic citations and discussions are not given much play in a book that is intended for inspiration, solace, and comfort. In reading through this work one will note the skilled use of verses from Eicha, the Book of Lamentat ions, as well as

various verses from the liturgy of Tisha B’Av itself, f, all woven together to bring a practical application of what this season meant to both our ancestors and to ourselves. Much use is also made of aggadita, rabbinic parables and lore. The prophets are represented promiminently by the works of Jeremiah and Isaiah whose ose works are the centerpiece of haftorah readings at this his time of year. Just about all of the essays dwell upon the deep ep relationship between G-d and the Jewish people, and nd of the impact that that relationship sustained by the he destruction of both Temples and the abrogation of Jewish political sovereignty. Each essay is followed by a specific meditation n themed to that day’s reading, building a balance of mood and spirit each day. y. The book’s introduction, ”When Memory Speaks”” sets up for the reader a mature and well thoughtt out presentation as to what the three weeks trulyy have come to represent to our people, throughoutt two-millennium. The mood and setting is soberr lacking the almost fairy-tale style that is common n in many other works. There are no collective guilt trips laced with bogus legends to be presented here as historical fact. Truly, this book’s mature presentment is meant to teach and inspire rather than to scare and admonish. Dr. Brown concludes her opening essay with the following observation: “Many Jews today, even committed, observant Jews, do not engage in ‘G-d-talk.’ Perhaps these essays will help us along in these conversations.” And conversations they are, taken together with the OU’s “Koren Mesorat Harav Kinot,” one’s observance of this somber season will truly be informed, intellectually and emotionally enhanced.

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Relationships with “with” B

ilaam desperately wants to go with King Balak’s men to fulfill what he believes is his destiny to curse the Jewish people. Knowing of his own relationship with G-d, however, he will not accept the job until he is given permission from G-d. He makes this quite clear to Balak’s first agents. Yet when G-d finally does acquiesce, saying, “If the men have called you specifically, go with them with the understanding that you’ll only be able to say what I tell you to say,” (22:20) why does He then get angry when Bilaam goes? (22:21-22) The answer lies in a subtlety that is lost in an English translation. G-d made it very clear to Bilaam that “You will not go ‘imahem.’” (22:12) However, the Rabbi Avi Billet permission He grants is to ‘go ‘itam.’” (22:20) Two Hebrew words for “with” are “im,” ayin mem, and “et,” alef tav. “Et” has other meanings in the Torah as well, such as “to, in, or from,” and it most often appears as a grammatical tool connecting a verb to its object, or preceding a noun. According to the Even-Shoshan Concordance, the “et” meaning “with” appears hundreds of times in Tanakh. Is there a difference between the “with” of “im” and the “with” of “et”?

In the context of Bilaam’s assignment, there seems to be a big difference. Bilaam firmly believes that G-d is “imo.” (22:19) Whatever that relationship may be, G-d instructs him not to have a similar relationship with Balak’s emissaries, “Lekh itam.” Bilaam seems to ignore this when he goes “im” them – thereby fueling G-d’s anger and causing the angel to stop him on the road. After the entire donkey/angel incident, however, Bilaam is instructed by the angel to go “im” Balak’s officers. (22:35) What changed? I think that G-d assigning to go “et” them implies there will be a distance between the prophet and those hiring him. That Bilaam will only say what G-d lets him say is understood when the prophet goes in accompaniment because it’s a job (“et”) as opposed to he is putting his heart and soul into the assignment (“im”). While not comparable (because murder is murder) one might suggest a hired assassin who kills for a paycheck versus one who does it because he enjoys the thrill of the kill are not to be judged by others the same way. In response to the first envoy sent to him, Bilaam was told he could not go and could not curse the people. In 22:12-13, Bilaam only mentioned that he could not go, and left out that he could not curse the people. Similarly, once Bilaam was given permission to go, he never let on to the officers that he was constrained in what he could say. He went “im” them because he wanted, heart and soul, to be with them, and he believed

Celebrating Our 24th Year

he’d be able to do what he wanted. Only after the encounter with the angel, when the instruction regarding what he’d be able to say was repeated in stronger terms (22:35) was he able to express to Balak (22:38) that he’d only be able to say what G-d allows him to say. And this is why he could be given permission to go “im” the emissaries, because now, no matter what his heart and soul will dictate, he understands and makes it understood that he may personally want to do exactly what Balak wants him to do, but he will only be able to do what G-d allows him to do. In addressing this question, the Netziv shares his own observations about the differences between going “et” versus going “im.” Following on his coattails, perhaps in the specific context of people traveling together, this distinction applies. Those who go “et” others, are walking on the same path, but their minds are in different places. Those who walk “im” others, not only share a physical space but also share a mental and perhaps spiritual state of being. People who go “et” others (different mindsets) in the Torah include: Terach with his family on the way to Haran; Lot going with Avram on his continued journey to Canaan; Lot immediately before the fight that caused him to separate from Avraham;

Avraham with his lads to sacrifice his son. Avimelekh and company, as they depart from Yitzchak after making a treaty; Yaakov and his sons when they went to Egypt, all with different hopes for the future; the Egyptians who came with Yosef to bury Yaakov. People who go “im” others (same mindset) in the Torah include: Lot going with Avram after the events in Egypt (after seeing G-d help Avram in a tight situation) [soon after, Lot separates “me’imo” to move to S’dom]; Avraham accompanying the angels on their way to destroy S’dom; Lot and his daughters escaping from S’dom; Eliezer and the servants looking to find a wife for Yitzchak; Rivka’s choice to go with Eliezer to be Yitzchak’s wife; Yaakov with Lavan (until he is no longer “imo” (Bereishit 31:2); 400 men with Eisav; the brothers of Yosef when they go to bury their father. It is interesting to note that like Bilaam, Lot is the main figure who jumps back and forth. Perhaps this is because, like Bilaam, he was an opportunist who came close when it was good for him, but distanced himself when things did not work out. Both kinds of relationships are healthy and normal when they are utilized in the contexts in which they are meant to take place. May we merit to have an equal and consistent balance of “et” and “im” relationships.

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THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

Parshat Balak

July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

12

ON THE

Calendar

The Jerusalem Post Crossword Puzzle

Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com. Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

July 11 Meet candidate Goldfeder

FRIENDS OF PHIL GOLDFEDER is holding a public campaign kickoff for Y. Philip Goldfeder’s State Assembly candidacy at the home of Rabbi Zvi Bloom, located at 509 Cedar Hill Road in Far Rockaway. A lifelong resident of Far Rockaway, Goldfeder currently serves as intergovernmental affairs director for Senator Charles Schumer. The free event begins at 8 p.m. For more information, contact 347-766-3674

Concert by the sea

YOUNG ISRAEL OF LONG BEACH is holding a public outdoor concert featuring Carlebach-style cantor Yehuda Green. The free event begins at 7 pm. and will take place on the Boardwalk at Long Beach Boulevard. The event is part of the City of Long Beach’s Summer Concert Series. For more information, contact 516-431-2404.

Hipsters & Hasids exhibit

J GREENSTEIN GALLERY, located at 417 Central Avenue in Cedarhurst is hosting painter Elke Reva Sudin, who will display her portrait series Hipsters & Hasids, on daily life scenes from Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Sudin will be speaking about her art at this event. Sudin is a graduate of Pratt Institute and is a member of the board of Jewish Art Salon. The public exhibit begins at 8 p.m. For more information, contact 516-295-2931.

July 12 Controversies in vaccination

GREAT NECK SYNAGOGUE, located at 26 Old Mill Road in Great Neck, is hosting Rabbi Dr. Edward Reichman, who will speak on the topic “From Smallpox to Swine Flu: Issues and Controversies in Vaccination” Rabbi is an associate professor of emergency medicine and history of medicine at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. His research is devoted to the interface of medical history and Jewish law. This free public event begins at 8:30 p.m. and is part of the synagogue’s Summer Learning Program series. Fore more information, contact 516-487-6100

July 13-15

Cedarhurst sidewalk sale

CEDARHURST BUSINESS IMPROVEMENT DISTRICT is holding its Sidewalk Sale, with deep discount sales, music, food, and other entertainment. The event will take place at Cedarhurst and Central Avenues. The fair hours are on July 13 from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.; on July 14 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; and on July 15 from 10 a.m. to closing. For more information, contact Teri Schure at info@shopcedarhurst.com

July 14-15, 17 Book, music and movie Fair

JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER OF WEST HEMPSTEAD, located at 711 Dogwood Avenue in West Hempstead, will be hosting a Book, Music and Movie Fair. The fair begins on July 14 with a preview sale from 10 a.m. to noon. There will be a $5 admission charge for the first two hours. Admission is free following this and on all the dates of the event. The fair runs until 5 p.m. on all dates. Dor more information, contact 516-481-7448.

July 17

Formula for a successful relationship

CHAZAQ is hosting noted lecturer Rabbi Label Lam at Congregation Beth Gavriel, located at 66-35 108 Street in Forest Hills. Rabbi Lam will be speaking on strategies for successful relationships. Refreshments will be served at this free public event, which begins at 8:15 p.m. For more information, contact 917-617-3636

July 18

The key to shalom

CONGREGATION SHAARAY TEFILA, located at 25 Central Avenue in Cedarhurst, is hosting Rabbi Jonathan Rietti, who will speak on the keys to peace within family relationships. The event is part of the larger Mishmeres HaSholom initiative that promotes the study of shmiras lalashon. Rabbi Rietti is a senior lecturer at the Gateways organization and director of teacher training at Mishkan Yecheskel. The event begins at 7:30 p.m. Suggested donation is $18. For more informaiton, contact cr@hasholom.org

July 29

Boardwalk Shabbat dinner

BACH Jewish Center, located at 210 Edwards Boulevard in Long Beach is holding its annual summer boardwalk dinner. Some 300 participants are expected for its Friday night rooftop Shabbat service, followed by an elegant outdoor meal on the Long Beach boardwalk. The event is led by Rabbi Eli & Beila Goodman, and Azi & Jessica Cutter. Reservations are required. The cost is $30 for adults and $20 for children. Visitors are encouraged to call Allegria Hotel for special event-related rates. For more information, contact 516-897-2473 or visit www.BachYouth.com.

By David Benkof

Across

1. Whence Ruth 5. One way to pay 10. Declines 14. First Israeli NBA’er Casspi 15. Russian villa 16. Niger neighbor 17. Black-Jewish actress (“Gimme a Break”) 19. Google founder Sergey 20. They may be grassy 21. Like “Schindler’s List” 22. Pulitzer-winning Ferber 23. Kissing disease 25. Psychiatrist-rabbi Abraham 27. She played a Hasidic dry cleaner on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” 31. Hebrew you? 32. DC arm of Reform Judaism 33. Kind of kugel 38. Neuter 40. His wife turned into a pillar of salt 42. Sitting spot 43. Tarnish 45. “This is Spinal ___” (Reiner film) 47. Niggun 48. Danish pianist-humorist 51. Consider 55. Ego 56. Bit of “La Juive” 57. Actor Arnold 59. ___ rod (Exodus prop)

Last week’s answers

63. Noodges 64. “The great prose writer of Russian Jewry” 66. Itsy-bitsy biter 67. “Thou Shalt Not Covet” (___ Commandment) 68. ___ Scotia 69. Make eyes at 70. Syria, perennially 71. ___ kosher (observe dietary laws)

Down

1. Brother 2. Gathering clouds, say 3. He sang of Alice 4. Host of “Real Time” 5. He played Lou Grant 6. Beetle, e.g. 7. “I’m Not Rappaport” has two 8. Case for a blade 9. Well earned 10. Fire remnant 11. Allen Ginsberg and Yehuda Amichai 12. Flip one’s lid? 13. Revelation spot 18. Blockage 24. One kind of law 26. Eve’s grandson 27. Frolics (about) 28. Big-ticket ___ 29. Rabbi Judah Ha-___ 30. “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” actor Disick 34. He found Anne’s diary 35. Gloomy 36. ___ Island Jewish Hospital 37. It’s used in a duel 39. XVI times VI 41. New Mexico art community 44. One of the seven nations of Canaan 46. Sermonizing 49. “The ___ People” 50. Yak 51. Hora alternative 52. Zoo critter 53. Politician-archaeologist Yadin 54. Garbage 58. Place for a comb 60. Mitch Miller instrument 61. Actress Campbell (“Party of Five”) 62. What Zsa Zsa Gabor gave a cop 65. Kind of card

Answers will appear next week

13 THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

Ask Aviva

Friends “frum” the neighborhood Dear Aviva,

My wife and I just moved to a wonderful Jewish community. We are very happy with our new home and our new friends. However, we generally feel like we are the most right wing of our group and it bothers us. We can’t be 100% sure of some of our friends’ kashrus, a lot of my friends don’t go to minyan (and when they do, they shmooze throughout!) and a lot of them are more caught up in drinking than giving divrei torah at the Shabbos table. I know I must sound very judgmental, since we are all on different levels of hashkafah (philosophy) and we do like our friends; we just feel like they are not a good influence on our family. What to do? -Frummy Friend

Dear Frummy Friend,

I like your problem. I really do. I think it is so great to have a social circle that is colorful. It’s the best show of true Ahavas Yisrael and it keeps minds flexible. I also like that you are not trying to be m’kareiv your friends. It sounds like you are accepting of who they are and you are not trying to change them. It also doesn’t sound like they are trying to change you either, which is good.

So you can go to minyan by yourself, try to sit around people who match your kavanah caliber. And if no such person exists in your shul, you may want to look into other ones. In terms of their kashrus, you will have to ask a Rav about that. I wouldn’t want you to compromise on your bein adam l’makom. Something that you need to be flexible with is bein adam l’chaveiro. Do they know that you are more to the right and uncomfortable with certain things? In my experience, a more eclectic group knows who the prudes are and usually does their best to protect them from the less straight-laced aspects of socializing. For example, do they go to Atlantic City and not even invite you? Or do you find you have to always make excuses to extract yourself from ‘objectionables’? If it seems like they just don’t get it and you are hemming and hawing your way through muddled alibis, then it will be a bit harder. You will have to find a way to do things so that they don’t get offended. Let’s say you want a dvar Torah during the Shabbos meal and you are eating out. Don’t step up to the pulpit and give a formal dvar Torah like you

might in your own home. Instead, couch it in the conversation and keep it super short. Tie it into a joke and then no one will snort at you. With regard to children, you can’t shield them from everything. My position is that it is far safer for a child to be lightly exposed to something under your care so that you can dialogue about it later. “Avi, were you sur prised when Eli’s daddy changed into shorts after shul?” Or, “I know it was hard for you not to play baseball when everybody else did. What was going through your mind? Were you too scared to tell them that you stopped playing Shabbos baseball a few years ago?” As long as your kids are not being exposed to too much, I think you should maintain these friendships. The thing that you do need to strengthen is your level of love and happiness in your own home. That is a good way to inoculate a child from looking elsewhere.

10

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Getting together on Shabbos is good because then you don’t need to worry about the more liberal censorship of DVDs and violent Wiis. Another idea that comes to mind is highlighting your similarities. Wouldn’t it be a nice message to the kids if you all banded together for some sort of universal Jewish cause? Head a letter writing campaign to free Jonathan Pollard, hold a bake sale for Chai Lifeline, or organize a bike-a-thon to equally benefit all the shuls in the neighborhood. This is good. I wish everyone had an opportunity to show their kids how they love and accept all Jews. But make sure your kids know that you love and accept them the most. -Aviva Aviva Rizel is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice who can be reached at AvivaRizel.MFT@gmail.com.

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Photo courtesy of ZAKA

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu offered gratitude to the volunteers of the ZAKA Search and Rescue Organization at his office on July 4. Netanyahu welcomed ZAKA’s chapters from U.S., Britain, France, Mexico, Russia, Ukraine, and its newest chapter from Belarus. In Israel, ZAKA is a participant in the extensive nationwide Turning Point 5 civil defense exercise.

Forest Hills shul takes a storefront

Miscellaneous For Sale

condominiums, storefronts, and a garage. Zoned for mixed-use, the site underwent several designs over the past decade, offering hope and disappointment. Rabbi Algaze insists that the current work on the site is final. “We’ve signed the contract and the construction work has begun.� Havurat Yisrael was created in March 1981 by congregants from the nearby Forest Hills Jewish Center. The shul kept the diversity of the Conservative synagogue alongside an adherence to halacha. “It offers the atmosphere and inspiration that people need,� Rabbi Algaze said. Services were first held at a former movie theater while the synagogue on 70th Avenue was being built, according to President Jack Goldhaber. Havurat Yisrael “is a place of inspiration, welcoming of everybody, acceptance and of teaching,� Rabbi Algaze said. Havurat, as it is called, “has nice, generous people who always invite me for Shabbos. Very important are the kind people. They have many activities, including going to camp during the summer,� said Albert Yusupov who has been coming to the shul since 2000. Havurat Yisrael is presently located at 6860 Austin Street, store number 7.

Miscellaneous For Sale

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Congregation Havurat Yisrael, a modern Orthodox synagogue in Forest Hills, has found a temporary home while their new synagogue is being built. Since a construction accident by their neighbor damaged their 70th Avenue building in 1998, Havurat Yisrael has been a shul without a home. Over the past decade, the congregation hop-scotched to different locations around Forest Hills. Since 2005, the congregation shared space with Agudas Achim, a shtiebl at 108-11 69th Road, while holding Shabbat services at the Touro College building at 7102 113th Street. Now, they have a one-stop site at 68-60 Austin Street for all their classes and services, at the heart of the neighborhood’s commercial hub. In the meantime, construction continues on its original address. “We hope the building will be done by Passover or the summer of 2012. Construction and excavation have already begun,� said the Argentinian-born Rabbi David Algaze, who has been with the shul since its inception. The new synagogue will be 6,000-8,000 feet in a 6-floor building, sharing space with

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15 THE JEWISH STAR July 8, 2011 • 6 TAMMUZ, 5771

Hebrew only please! A Jewish newspaper should have a Hebrew column. So here it is. We will try to maintain a level of vocabulary so that it will be easy enough for students to read and interesting enough for those more fluent to enjoy.

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