September 2, 2011 - The Jewish Star

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STORM PHOTOS Pages 3, 7, 8, 16 Young Israel receives security grant Page 6 Priority-1 marks 24: counseling and education still priority Page 11 HAFTR gym expands Page 14

THE JEWISH

STAR

VOL 10, NO 34 ■ SEPTEMBER 2, 2011 / 3 ELUL, 5771

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Kindness campaign kicks off in Lawrence By Brigitte Fixler With Elul ushering in the High Holidays, a group of local women are seeking to “tip the scales in our favor,” with a campaign of kindness, with a kick-off event on Tuesday at Lawrence Middle School. Guided by Rabbi Dovid Weinberger of Lawrence, the event includes a website, literature, and lectures. “It was started by a group of local women in response to tragic events by generating acts of chesed in the neighborhood,” Rabbi Weinberger said. “Our hope is that more than talk, there will be action.” Looking to scripture for inspiration, the organizers cite tractate Kiddushin 40a. “The response to evil is to put good into the world” The program promotes good will, love, friendship and unity amongst individuals through acts of kindness, organizing the mitzvah through six different goals focusing on various aspects of human relationships, with one goal for each week from Rosh Chodesh Elul through Yom Kippur. The idea for this program developed at the monthly challah shiur led by Rabbi Weinberger at Congregation Shaaray Tefillah. The name of the initiative, ‘A.O.K. Acts of Kindness,” is credited to his rebbetzin. The kick-off event hosted noted speakers Rabbi Paysach Krohn and Woodmere resident Charlie Harary. Both speakers are renowned for their storytelling abilities, with numerous examples of inspiration provided at the event. “It really is a frightening time we’re going through,” Rabbi Krohn said. “We have to ask ourselves, what is it that Hashem wants from us? Hashem wants chesed.” This week’s goal is to “smile until it hurts,” with participants encouraged to smile more Continued on page 7

Woodmere under water Photo by Monica Rzewski

Hurricane Irene caused most streets off of Peninsula Blvd to be flooded and inaccessible.

Coping with evacuation, Shabbos and the storm By Sergey Kadinsky The warnings were dire, with a mandatory evacuation order issued for the 330,000 residents of Zone A, the low-lying coastal section of New York City that includes Staten Island’s south shore, Coney Island, and the Rockaway peninsula. “This is the storm where if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, it could be fatal,” New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg

said. “Comply with the mandatory evacuation.” On a sunny Friday afternoon, ambulettes lined up outside the 298-bed Brookhaven Rehab & Health Care Center in Far Rockaway, complying with the order by evacuating every elderly patient to locations further inland ahead of Hurricane Irene. “We are getting calls from all nursing homes for the evacuation,” said medical supplier Abraham Krus.

As the vans filled up, reinforcements arrived with Satmar school buses from Williamsburg. Closer to the shore on Seagirt Boulevard, the West Lawrence Care Center had its windows taped up in anticipation of Hurricane Irene, which had already caused massive flooding in Puerto Rico, Bahamas and North Carolina, as it barreled up the east coast. But not all residents were heeding the

Shabbat Candlelighting: 7:01 p.m. Shabbat ends 8:00 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Shoftim

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Woodmere native scores teacher fellowship By Sergey Kadinsky When rabbis graduate from Yeshiva University, they are offered placement in communities around the nation, and under its Institute for University-School Partnership, 20 fellows are dispersed among 16 schools, with full tuition and stipends provided, so that they could focus fully on teaching in their new homes. Among the recipients is Daniel Loewenstein, 25, a native of Woodmere who left this week for Skokie, Illinois, to spend the next four years teaching English literature and Hebrew language in Skokie’s Fasman Yeshiva High School. “It’s a fantastic opportunity to get into teaching, a job for two years and a full scholarship, both very helpful resources,” Loewenstein said. The two-year training fellowship provides training and support from YU’s Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration, funded by the Legacy Heritage Fund Limited. Over three summers, teaching fellows will also earn a masters degree in education from Azrieli. Three additional teachers in the program also hold sponsorships from the GiveBack Fellowship, a program that identifies dynamic graduates in assist with student activities, observing classroom teachers and Daniel providing support Loewenstein in other aspects of school programming. They offer a supportive structure in which to grow as a new teacher and a transformative experience for the students who are inspired by these young, energetic educators,” said YU School Partnership director Dr. Scott Goldberg. “Schools asked us to get them teachers, and we’ve sent them much more.” For Loewenstein, the inspiration to teach came from DRS high School and Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh, a hesder yeshiva outside Ashdod where Loewenstein spent his posthigh school year. Giving back to his alma mater, he taught formal learning sessions at DRS while studying at YU. “My lectures have consistently focused on the experiential, human dimension of Judaism, often drawing upon contemporary music, books and movies to better develop and communicate my ideas,” Loewenstein said. When he is not teaching, Loewenstein is picking up another degree as a semicha student at Hebrew Theological College, also located in Skokie. The Legacy Heritage Teacher Training and GiveBack Fellowships are open to students from all colleges. Visit the YU School Partnership’s Web site at www.yu.edu/azrieli/schoolpartnership for more information or to apply.

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Continued from page 1 mayor’s call. “I’ve lived here for 40 years, and I live inland on Central Avenue in a building. My main concern is getting to work,” said Neil Last, who runs the coffee shop at St. John’s Episcopal Hospital. Closer to the shore, Aviva Goldman strolled across the soft sand with her son Binyamin Gitnik, 6, shrugging off the apocalyptic warnings. “The city overreacted, it caused more trouble because people had a hard time getting back,” Goldman said. Most of her neighbors on Beach 9 Street evacuated, giving her waterfront block a ghost town appearance. “It was a very quiet shabbos, and my son was watching the waves from our window.” In a sense of irony, while Far Rockaway sustained minor flooding, communities further inland witnessed power outages and damage More storm from fallen trees. photos on pages “We live two homes 7, 8 and 16 from the ocean and we got out,” said Atlantic Beach resident Stanley Nussbaum, who stayed with his niece in Weston, Conn. “We came back on Sunday, and to our surprise, there was no flooding nor loss of electricity; but our niece lost power at her home.” The collapse of trees and power lines shut off electricity in heavily wooded areas, including Jamaica Estates and Great Neck. “Our power went out around 1:30 a.m. on Sunday morning, and we still don’t have power,” said Randy Agadi, whose Great Neck home was still in the dark on Monday afternoon. Con Edison reported 25,000 customers without power throughout Queens, the highest figure among the five boroughs. Far Rockaway resident Phil Goldfeder stayed home, but praised the mayor for issuing the call to evacuate. “It’s better to be safe than sorry, nobody could have predicted how the storm would go. We prepared the people and set up information centers in the White Shul and Young Israel of Far Rockaway,” Goldfeder said. Outside his Howard

Photo by Monica Rzewski

This Woodmere doctor’s home took a hit, but the car remained unharmed.

THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

Motzei Shabbos and Irene

Photo by Ayton Rice

A downed tree blocked Main Street in Kew Gardens Hills requiring massive effort to clear the roadway. Beach campaign office, Goldfeder praised the city for its street clearing efforts, in quickly mobilizing to remove numerous fallen trees after the storm. Avi Goldstein cleared out his basement and kept his battery-operated radio on during Shabbat, as advised by the Vaad of Far Rockaway and the Five Towns. While his parents were evacuated to his sister’s home in Flatbush, Goldstein ventured out to a friend in nearby Lawrence on Saturday evening for a kumsitz, where neighbors listened to guitar music as the rain intensified. “We stayed there overnight and on Sunday walked to the beach,” Goldstein said. Inspecting his Far Rockaway home, Goldstein was glad that the electricity was on, but unsure how to handle the fallen tree sprawling in his backyard. Woodmere insurance agent Monte Rosenzweig also stayed home, finding the storm to be more of a nuisance, but he reminded customers that officially, the Atlantic hurricane season runs through November 30. Rosenzweig received plenty of calls in the week before the storm, but the newly signed policies could not cover damage from Irene. “Since a flood policy does not take effect until 30 days after purchase, Allstate encourages residents to consider their home’s risk for flooding and talk to their local insurance agent well before the waters rise,” Rosenzweig said. Upstate, the storm wreaked havoc with flash floods that took two lives in Spring Valley and Fleishmanns further upstate. Seeing his neighbor’s son outside in the rain playing with a downed power line, David Reichenberg, 50, rushed to save six-year-old Reuven Herbst, but was himself electrocuted by the wire. Herbst and his father, whose name was not immediately released, survived with minor injuries. In Fleishmanns, elderly Brooklyn resident Rozalia Gluck, 82, was found dead as a flood carried her hotel building downstream. The Romanian-born holocaust survivor was buried Sunday evening. In total, 16 people across the east coast were killed by the storm.

Photo by Sergey Kadinsky

Far Rockaway resident Binyamin Gitnik and his mother Aviva Goldman survey the storm’s aftermath near Beach 9th Street. Yitzchak Vidomlansky rests for a moment on one of the many fallen trees in Far Rockaway, making the best of his evacuated neighborhood.

Photo by Ruth Vidomlansky


September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Opinion Why do we need Elul?

Editorial

Month of community kindness

T

he end of summer is a time of campaigns, when we are faced with back to school mania, primary elections, purchasing High Holiday seats, checking to make sure we have flood insurance against Nor’easters so powerful they make Irene look like a trickle. The weeks of comfort dwindle as we count off Re’eh, Shoftim, Ki Teitze… like stations on a train line as we approach our final destination, where our deeds are held to account. Amid the stress, three local women, under the guidance of Rabbi Dovid Weinberger of Lawrence, launched the widely promoted Acts of Kindness initiative. This community generously opens its lawns for benefit concerts serving a variety of causes, where Yeshiva Gedolah of Five Towns students keep up the eruv each week, Hatzalah trucks blare to the rescue, Madraigos and Priority-1 maintain Torah observance among our teens, while Project Inspire spreads Torah observance to the wider public. Kulanu looks out for the special needs that go beyond the parents’ abilities, and Achiezer appears to fulfill almost anything related to crisis. Perhaps we missed out on an organization? Of course we did, there are so many acts of kindness in the community. As each of us adopts a top cause, putting our hands, time, and funds into it, we should not neglect interpersonal relations and the ability to help each other. Each of us has stories where we have provided or received kindness. Rabbi Paysach Krohn is

a leading maggid living among us, collecting thousands of stories of kindness for his books and lectures. Likewise, Charlie Harary, a man of many professions, but to most of us, he is better known as an inspiring storyteller. Within the 40 days of Elul and the Yamim Noraim, our community can add to their collection of stories. It’s simple. We will listen, guide, lift, feed, host, watch, guard, comfort, teach, and more. As the yamim noraim approach, many of us will make calls, asking for mechila but not remembering the specifics. This year, we can accompany this perfunctory phone call with acts of kindness. What can this newspaper do at this time? We will continue to promote gemilut chasadim on these pages. On occasion, notices of the numerous fundraising concerts and dinners do not reach us, and we must catch up after the event. When an advertisement or invitation gets lost, we still write about the event in our news coverage and community calendar. A newspaper is a business, but it is also a mission with a message. We do so with accuracy and to the benefit of those fine institutions and individuals. When we have missed the mark, we enter this month with pause, and ask for mechila. In Elul, Rabbi Weinberger best summarizes the mission. “Our chesed will bring rachamim from above. It will tip the scales in our favor.”

We will listen,

guide, lift, feed,

host, watch, guard,

comfort, teach, and more.

HEBREW ONLY PLEASE! Rabbi Noam Himelstein’s column is on a break this week as he prepares for the school season ahead

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David F. Nesenoff Sergey Kadinsky Helene Parsons Sandi Stanger Rabbi Avi Billet Jeff Dunetz Rabbi Binny Freedman Brigitte Fixler Rabbi Noam Himelstein Alan Jay Gerber Zechariah Mehler Aviva Rizel Ariel Rosenbloom Alyson Goodman Christina Daly

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L

et’s just have Tishri. Sound the shofar, wear the white, beat the chest, bend the knee and round the challah. Why do we need Elul? Why don’t we just jump into the pomp and the pomegranate, the penance and the piyyut? Why do we need Elul? Say the slichos and the ‘sorrys,’ shlep out the tshuvas and shlug kaparos. Why do we need Elul? Don the kittel and dip the apple, really DAVID’S HARP fast and release the vows. Why do we need Elul? Get the Chazan, open the Machzor and make shehechiyanu. Why do we need Elul? Cook the teiglach and cast the tashlich. Why do we need Elul? Let’s just start Tishri. Get the book; write the name, eat the honey cake and seal it. Why do we need Elul? I recently heard about a groom, on the day before his wedding, who noticed that the ring was missing. He searched and searched and could not find it. He then came to realize that perhaps the unthinkable happened; perhaps his pet dog swallowed the ring. He took the dog to the radiologist and sure enough there was the evidence on film; a ring was sitting in the canine’s stomach. David F. Nesenoff At the wedding, under the chuppah, the groom presented to his bride an x-ray outlining a dog with a spherical metallic object in its belly. He said to his beloved, “It’s gonna take a little time.” Why do we need Elul? Because “it’s gonna take a little time.” We need Elul.

Yankie & Luzer I’m sorry for anything I said this year.

It’s not your fault. It’s the cartoonist’s.


5

n 9/11/01 I was in my office and received an IM from my brother telling me of the first plane crash. Taking advantage that my employer was Nickelodeon and there was a TV in my office, I tuned into the news and saw what I thought was a replay of the crash…it wasn’t a replay, it was the second plane. Soon my entire POLITICO team crammed into my TO GO office. They stared in disbelief as the news grew worse, an attack on the Pentagon, and the horror of each of Twin Towers crashing to the ground. Just thinking about it brings back memories of fear and horror. The city felt like a prison. All bridges and tunnels leading out of Manhattan were Jeff Dunetz closed. The second the news announced east side river crossings were reopened; I rushed out of my office and began to drive home. Manhattan streets were almost devoid of cars, but traffic moved slowly because they were packed with dazed people trying to make their way out of the city. It was a surreal picture reminiscent of those movies where Godzilla’s attacking Tokyo. The 59th Street

NO NEED TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE!

Bridge was no different, dazed people, struggling to get off the island prison, desperate for the “safety” of Queens. From my high perch on the bridge, I looked out to what would soon be known as ground zero and saw an impenetrable curtain of black over the East River. The air seeping into my car had a “smoky” taste and a texture like sand paper. The next day I also drove to work, almost as an act of defiance toward the terrorists. Memory of the drive home on 9/12 is just as vivid, not because of another terrorist incident, but because of something I heard on the radio. On the way home I tuned into to Sports radio station WFAN and their afternoon stars, Mike Francesa and Chris Mad Dog Russo. Instead of talking sports that afternoon, the two launched a fact deprived commentary blaming Israel and American Jews for the horrible attacks the day before. Russo said (Francesca agreed) that American Jews needed to prove their loyalty as Americans; choose between Israel, which Mike called “a failed experiment,” and the U.S.” How Did WFAN react to this blatant Antisemitism? One would think that they would have reacted strongly, as they did six years later by firing Don Imus, their number one money-maker, for calling the Rutgers girls basketball team “nappy-headed hos.” Sadly WFAN reacted by sweeping it under the rug while the pair of bigots denied it ever happened. The station ignored my com-

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because WFAN claimed that it did not tape that particular segment. But I did hear them - first-hand, not “second or third-hand” - then wrote a column critical of them for characterizing the 9/11 attacks as the fault of Israel, and by extension, American Jews……The fact that no tape was, in Francesa’s words, “ever found” - he failed to mention WFAN’s claim not to have taped the segment I wrote about - was used by Francesa, Monday, as proof that I fabricated a story about him.” Like most Americans who suffered through those horrible days, the sounds, tastes and pictures of the horrible attack embedded in my memory. On 9/12 most Americans, stood united against the hatred of al Qaeda. But here in New York, two sportscasters on WFAN chose not to stand against hatred, but to create even more. In a few days we will commemorate the tenth anniversary of that horror. It is about time WFAN, Francessa and Russo fess up and apologize for their hatred. If you agree please contact WFAN program manager Eric Spitz here espitz@wfan.com or call the station at 212-314-9200 to comment on Francesa. For Mr. Russo you can call his new home Sirrus/ XM corporate offices @ 212-584-5100. Tell them a decade of denial is enough. Francessa and Russo should fess up and apologize.

plaints and those of other listeners, including NY Post columnist Phil Mushnick. Flooded with calls, the ADL sent a letter to the station which said in part: “Since September 12th, ADL offices in the tri-state area have been flooded with calls complaining about comments made by “Mike and the Mad Dog” show hosts Mike Francesa and Chris Russo. The complaints focus on the hosts suggesting the motive behind the World Trade Center attack is U.S. support for the State of Israel or, more importantly, suggesting a divided loyalty for American Jews between our country and Israel.” The ADL never received a response from their letter: “From: ADL Media [mailto:ADLMedia@ adl.org] Sent: Tuesday, November 03, 2009 11:42 AM Subject: RE: Abraham H. Foxman’s letter to WFAN in 2001 As far as we can recollect, we had no response from WFAN” To this day the two deny what thousands heard with their own ears. When the NY Post’s Mushnick wrote about the incident in the weeks after 9/11, the sports talkers used some of their radio time to express their denial. Mushnick wrote in 2002: “… Francesa’s claim that I fabricated quotes, then attributed them to him is a total lie because I never quoted either Francesa or Russo in that column. I couldn’t quote them

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It’s time to end Mike and The Mad Dog’s decade of 9/11 antisemitism denial

THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

Opinion


September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

6

Parshat Shoftim

The middle road In describing the formula for how we turn to our teachers for guidance and for psak (rabbinic decisions in Jewish law), the Torah enjoins us to follow the rulings that are handed to us. As many a rabbi will tell you in conversation, “Are we just having a discussion? Or are you asking me what to do? Because if you are asking a ‘shaylah,’ you have to follow what I tell you. Whereas if we are just having a conversation, you will go home and decide for yourself what is the best avenue to pursue in this matter.” The Torah says “Based on the Torah which they show you and the ruling they will tell you to follow, do not veer from what they tell you right or left.” (Devarim 17:11) This enigmatic passage is the base for some discussion in the Midrash, and much more amongst commentators. Rashi, based on Shir HaShirim Raba and the Pesikta, explains quite literally that you must listen when they tell you right is left and left is right, and certainly when they tell you right is right and left is left. Ramban elaborates, saying that you might think they are totally wrong, but if they have the halakhic insight you do not possess, they must Rabbi Avi Billet be listened to [presumably in matters of halakha – rather than for every question under the sun]. The Riva (Yitzchak ben Avraham, a Tosafist) asks an obvious question. What if they are totally out to lunch? What if they are saying that something that is forbidden is permitted, that something which is tameh is really tahor? He answers his own question, saying that in such a case it would be wrong to listen to them. The examples he brings are more along the lines of when there are two legitimate opinions and the scholar sides with an approach which might be objectionable, but is valid. Obviously declaring a horse to be a tahor animal would not fit into such a rubric (my example). But saying that we should not blow shofar on Rosh Hashanah that falls on shabbos is a decree which is valid (Riva’s example). I would like to offer a different approach, equally literal, yet considerably more homiletical, based on the well-known suggestion of Maimonides at the beginning of Hilkhot De’ot – the laws of Worldliness. When the verse says “Do not veer from what they tell you right or left,” perhaps they mean “do not veer too much, neither to the right nor to the left.” In other words: don’t be an extremist, be a moderate. Take a stand, but don’t go crazy. The Rambam famously wrote, “The proper

“This far is OK, but this far is crossing the line.” path is the middle road from every choice a person has in front of him. It is equidistant from the two extremes, and is not ‘almost’ one or the other. The early scholars commanded us to follow this road of moderation in order to live a more fulfilling existence. For example, don’t be easy to anger, but also don’t be a stiff with no emotions. Find a middle road. Save anger for a really big deal, so it will [hopefully] not come up again. Otherwise be easygoing…” The key is moderation, and avoidance of extremism. In our times, this is very easily understood, because the image the Torah uses to describe the directions in which a person can turn (right or left) are the actual terms used to describe the place on the religious or philosophical (and even political) scale on which a person’s approach to life might lie. The Torah’s instruction, therefore, is not to lean too far to the right, or too far to the left, but to find a more centrist viewpoint that is far more moderate and far less extreme. This is a highly significant message for all of us to take home. Too often, people rush to a rabbi for guidance on every matter under the sun. Too often, people on one extreme try to “outfrum” themselves (separate yichud rooms at a wedding comes to mind). At the same time, people on the other extreme tend to push the envelope as far as they can, to see how far then can take certain practices before being called on them and being subsequently persuaded that “this far is OK, but this far is crossing the line.” We should not be looking to churn out clones and carbon copies. Every person is created in the image of G-d, is a unique individual, and should therefore make a unique mark in the world. But the underlying philosophy that should work for everyone, is that of Maimonides. While we will not agree on everything, we work hard to change our approach to life and Judaism. There need not be a negative attitude towards others, trying to either get others’ goat or make their lives difficult. Nor should we push the envelope to such a degree that will spark namecalling, lashon hara, animosity, or worst of all, hatred. Taking the road less traveled may make all the difference to Robert Frost. But taking the middle road – not too much to the right and not too much to the left – is what makes all the difference in creating a wholesome Jewish experience.

Photo by Sergey Kadinsky

Dr. Herbert Ausubel can trace his family’s history to a dozen countries going back to biblical times. His book “Flower of God” looks back at his roots.

Valley Stream doctor traces family roots By Sergey Kadinsky On an unassuming suburban block in Rockville Center, Dr. Herbert Ausubel’s home has a lawn matching the neatness of his neighbors, but inside is a mixture of medical knowledge, world music, and fine art. The soft-spoken Ausubel, 80, speaks in length about a family name stretching back to biblical times, one that traversed Turkey, Hungary, and less Jewish places including China and Mongolia. “It’s important to know how they survived and retained their identity through faith,” Ausubel said. Describing his newly released book “Flower of God” as a Jewish version of Alex Haley’s Roots, Ausubel spoke of his mixed SephardicAshkenazic background, and the ancient origin of his last name. “I remember visiting ancient Ephesus in Turkey. There was an apothecary with the name Ausubel. Another one of my ancestors served as a physician to Suleiman the Magnificent, he fled to Vienna in the sixteenth century,” Ausubel said. Raised in once-Jewish East New York, Ausubel’s parents treasured an heirloom scroll written by a baker in medieval Granada, Spain, from a time when it was ruled by a tolerant Muslim regime. “Since the time of the Rambam, Jews have served as chief physicians for caliphs,” Ausubel said. Following in his father’s career, Ausubel was admitted to Harvard Medical College

in 1950, one year after the school abolished religious quotas on incoming students. A undergraduate history major, Ausubel lectured the Harvard dean for six hours on his family’s history of practicing medicine, securing acceptance to the school. While tending patients, he often shared his “geshichtes” with them, which eventually inspired him to take the stories to print and beyond. “I had a dying elderly patient and one day her daughter overheard my stories, Ausubel said. “She shared my stories with her boss, a man named Steven Spielberg.” Ausubel was able to secure a lunch with the Hollywood director’s mother, but no word on any contracts. For now, his story is told in the book, the medical office, and YouTube. Dr. Dov Bienstock, who is Ausubel’s partner at his Valley Stream medical office, spoke of Ausubel’s encyclopedic knowledge, as well as care for patients. “He has a following among his patients, they’re all on a first name basis,” Bienstock said. “They talk politics and he takes care of them emotionally and psychologically.” Speaking about the origin of his last name, Ausubel describes a plant, the ezov, used in the Holy Temple as well as medicinal purposes. The plant forms the root in his last name and book title. “The hyssop is a flower converted into s spice, but it could also be used as an antiseptic. You could say that it’s for spiritual cleansing.”

“He has a following among his patients, they’re all on a first name basis.”

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Continued from page 1 at family, friends, and strangers. Goals for future weeks are just as practical to implement, and were chosen to help people stretch themselves to become kinder and more caring people. The reference to G-d as the ultimate giver was intended to inspire people to act likewise, Rabbi Krohn said, truly making the Jews a “light to the nations,” making it possible to bring Moshiach in our time. Rabbi Krohn explained that when Moshe Rabbeinu saw the burning bush, the pasuk tells us that he “turned and saw it.” The word “turned” seems superfluous, but it teaches us that Moshe had a personality where he turned to look at the suffering of his nation. It was because of this compassion that he was ultimately chosen to lead the Jewish people. Harary spoke about the spiritual power of the month of Elul, explaining that the month fully spelled out as “Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li” [I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me], we can learn that Elul is a month that is all about love and relationships. For more information on AOK, visit arewedoingaok.com. “We are commanded to love another as ourselves,” said Harary. He said that love is

THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

Kindness campaign

not merely an emotion, but something that is brought about through action. By giving to others, we strengthen our relationships. “This month is about giving,” he said. “If you give, what you get back is a million times more.” For more information on 40 Days of Kindness and AOK, visit AreWeDoingAOK.com

VOICE YOUR OPINION! E-mail letters to letters@thejewishstar.com or fax to (516) 569-4942.

Celebrating Our 24th Year

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Justin and Rebecca Kraus take a break from paddling to reflect on the changed landscape outside their North Boulevard home.

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September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Photo by Christina Daly

Strong winds knocked this tree down in New Hyde Park.

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Flooding in Bellmore.

Hurricane Irene’s aftermath

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Before the storm hit, businesses in Rockville Centre boarded up.

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Irene forced a tree down in Franklin Square.

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By Ariel Rosenbloom

It’s Elul. What are you going to do about it? “Pick one bad habit and try to change it.�

“Get ready for Rosh Hashanah.�

ADINA TYBERG Occupational Therapist Cedarhurst

SORALA SCHULHOF student at Torah Academy for Girls Lawrence

“I’m going to start going again to Rav Meir Goldwicht’s shiurim. They can be very inspiring.�

“Think. You gotta think about what you’re doing and if you’re making the right decisions.�

“Shop for Yom Tov!�

ORNA SHOSHAN owner of Orly’s Cedarhurst

TUVIA GOLDSTEIN director of development Philadelphia

“Learn Torah 24/7.� CHAIM-DOV COHEN, KENNY GOODMAN, ARI ROTH, AND JOSH WEISS students at RAMBAM and South Shore Yeshiva High School Woodmere/Cedarhurst

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THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

Mensch on the street


Opinion T

wo words; two chilling words, that have haunted a generation of Israelis, Jews, and innocents around the world, were heard yet again, piercing the peaceful quiet of the Negev desert this past week, as all too suddenly, a quiet peaceful afternoon suddenly filled with the screams of the dying and the wounded as Arab Hamas-sponsored terrorists once again targeted the innocent FROM THE HEART in a horrific series of OF JERUSALEM attacks. Ten years ago on the twentieth of Av, the two words the suicide bomber shouted as he detonated his deadly bomb belt in the Jerusalem S’barro’s Pizzeria I happened to be sitting in were : “Allahhu’ Akbar” “G-d is Great”. For a long time after that attack, and ever Rabbi Binny since, these two words Freedman captured my imagination. Think about it: here is a person, who believes he is making the ultimate sacrifice for G-d, and interestingly enough Jewish tradition is clearly of the opinion that Muslims and Jews share the same, one G-d. So the G-d he is speaking to, or at least thinks he is

Two chilling words speaking to, is the same G-d we speak to. And in his mind, he believes deeply in G-d and is committing the ultimate act of faith and self-sacrifice in the name of… G-d. And he is living the ideal that no less than a hundred million Muslims agree with, and perhaps even aspire to. So how do you argue with that? After all, faith is a pretty subjective thing; hundreds of millions of people have been murdered and even butchered in the name of that same G-d, and if that’s where faith leads you, maybe we’d be better off without G-d and all of his fanatical followers? Of course, a world with no G-d isn’t much better. At the beginning of the 20th century, with the dawn of enlightenment and the weakening and perhaps even (from a Western global perspective) marginalization of organized religion, the pundits foresaw a brave new world embracing an enlightened social order. Communism and socialism predicted that once mankind put aside their differences and all shared the burden of creating a better world along with its imminent rewards we would discover cures for all the diseases ravaging the world, solve poverty, and end all conflicts. In fact, the First World War was called “the war to end all wars”, and the league of Nations was created, determined to see an end to all conflicts and usher in a world of peace and harmony. Yet, the twentieth century which witnessed amongst its conflicts Stalin’s Russia, Mao Tse’ Tung’s

China, the Holocaust, the killing fields of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, and the genocide campaigns in Armenia and Rwanda, saw more human beings massacred than in all the previous centuries of the world combined. After all, if there is no G-d, then it is only man with his (by definition subjective) perspective who determines what is right and what is wrong. So where does this conundrum leave us? How do we make sense of a mother and her child murdered by terrorists in the name of G-d on a long and lonely road from Eilat, as they scream and revel in the glory of … G-d? Has nothing changed since fifteen innocent people were murdered ten years ago by these same terrorists, a.k.a. religious fanatics? Is there hope that things ever can change? Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen Kook, the first chief Rabbi of Israel (before it was a state) in his article Mimrakei Emunah (literally: pollutions of faith) suggests, that all the baggage we carry with us, all the mistakes we make, and all the flaws we so often see in those around us, all stem from our relations with and perspective of G-d. If a person’s perspective of G-d is flawed, then he or she will be living a flawed life, and if a person’s relationship with G-d is healthy and balanced, then they will live a healthy and balanced life. And one need not get to the extremes of terrorism and suicide bombers to understand this fundamental idea; this is true every time we see a newspaper headline of someone defined by the press as being ‘religious’ , caught in a very non-religious act, and we ask ourselves how a religious person could do such a thing? Most of us will often simplify the issue by suggesting that the person in question is not really religious if they could embezzle money, lie in court, or abuse their fellow human being. But that’s not really true, because when those same people are in shul (synagogue) on Yom Kippur, going to great lengths to honor and respect their parents, helping the needy or even dancing with a Torah scroll on the festival of Simchat Torah, they are living a deeply religious experience. Yet when they are embezzling money from orphans or slandering their fellow human being they are committing a deeply irreligious act. Much as we would often like to, putting people into a black or white box of ‘religious’ or ‘not religious’ is an oversimplification of the human and religious experience; people are more complex than that.

What Rav Kook is suggesting is that in any action or experience, the root of the issue is where G-d is in the equation. If a person was experiencing a clean, healthy balanced relationship and connection with G-d, they would not be capable of experiencing such an irreligious moment at the same time. Indeed this is the essence of perhaps the highest level of a healthy relationship with G-d, known as Yirat Shamayim. Often, people translate this as ‘ Fear of Heaven’. But the root of Yirah could be re’eh, which means to see. If we could see G-d in every moment we would not lose our selves, in any moment. What remains then, is the decision to attempt that journey; to explore what we think G-d really is, and how we develop a healthy relationship with G-d. So often, when the topic of G-d comes up, people debate whether G-d exists, or whether G-d is ethical, especially after events like those that struck Israel this week. But in order to decide whether we believe in G-d, we first have to decide what we think G-d is, and whether G-d is even relevant in our lives, and that takes a lot of work. Judaism suggests that given the fact that G-d is beyond our comprehension, the only way we could begin an attempt to understand the nature of G-d and how we can relate to what G-d wants of us, is if no less than G-d him/her-self tells us how to do it. For too long we have neglected the essence of this journey; perhaps it is time we consider the value of struggling with this question. Obviously the Torah’s parameters of what human ethics are meant to be, and how we can pursue a deeper relationship with G-d, preclude the erroneous conclusions of the suicide bomber. But that still leaves us with the challenge of deciding what that relationship is indeed meant to be. And perhaps the first place to begin the journey, is with our selves. With prayers for a speedy recovery for the wounded, and nechama (comfort) for those who have so suddenly and tragically lost their loved ones, and the hope that perhaps one day soon we will be able to experience a world where such pain is no longer a part of our experience, Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem.

For a long time after that attack, and ever since, these two words captured my imagination.

Rav Binny Freedman, Rosh Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem’s Old City is a Company Commander in the IDF reserves, and lives in Efrat with his wife Doreet and their four children. His weekly Internet ‘Parsha Bytes’ can be found at www.orayta.org

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11 THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

Priority-1 marks 24th year in counseling and educating:

An interview with founder Rabbi Shaya Cohen By Sergey Kadinsky On Sept. 7, Priority-1 and Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh, which are based in the Five Towns and Far Rockaway, will hold their 24th anniversary dinner. Founded in 1987 in Cedarhurst, Priority-1 addresses “at-risk” teenagers, those who feel alienated by the Jewish educational system, and more susceptible towards reckless behavior. Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh and its Kollel Ner Yehoshua, is a mainstream yeshiva located in Bayswater, NY with a program of advanced Torah learning, which also provides extensive training to students to prepare them for the world of Jewish education. Through its Community Training Initiative, Priority-1 provides free professional counseling for parents, teachers and students, in preventing substance abuse, addressing psychological needs, and learning disabilities. The Jewish Star spoke with founder and dean Rabbi Shaya Cohen on Priority-1’s mission in strengthening observance among teens that are born observant. SERGEY KADINSKY: What is the best-known aspect of Priority-1? How do you identify signs of at-risk behavior? RABBI SHAYA COHEN: We’ve pioneered that field with our alternative high school, the Torah Academy High School. It’s for young men whose needs were not being met in other schools; those who’ve found themselves pulled from the classrooms. We’ve given them insights and guidance. The key to recognizing this problem is to train teachers and parents to understand their needs, temptations and difficulties. The students deal with these issues. We’ve recognized the early signs of drifting.

SK: How does Priority-1 promote a positive image of the Torah among teens who are “drifting” from the Torah? SC: The strongest insurance policy that we have against drinking, drug abuse, and gambling, among other addictions, is an appreciation of the Torah lifestyle and its benefits. SK: What makes for a positive and inspiring learning experience? SC: The learning experience has to be very interactive, more than lectures for a generation that was raised on sound bites. Lectures are not our mode of choice and as you can see, schools are no longer building huge lecture halls, but smaller rooms for sessions. We teach that the Torah will benefit you and is a source of happiness. SK: From a nonobservant point of view, the Torah has so many restrictions. How can this be interpreted as a positive thing? SC: It gives a person a good feeling to be able to control and maintain their behavior. Thinking is exciting. The Torah stimulates answers to difficult questions. Parents know their children are special, but when a stranger recognizes “I am special,” it makes them feel good. SK: Is there a fear that a student who attended a program for at-risk teens would be stigmatized? SC: Our program is geared towards mainstreaming the students. This includes our yeshiva in Israel and post-high school yeshiva and Kollel programs. The dinner will take place on Sept. 7 at Lawrence Country Club at 7 p.m. For more information, contact 516-295-5700 or visit www.priority-1.org.

Rabbi Tzvi Wachsman raises a point with students at the Torah Academy High School

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Sept. 3

ON THE

Calendar

Music, Art and Wine

LIDO BEACH SYNAGOGUE, located at Lido Boulevard and Fairway Road in Lido Beach, is holding a music, art and wine event highlighting musical performances and artworks designed by members and friends of the synagogue. The event begins at 9:30 p.m. For more information, contact 516-889-9650.

Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com. Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

Sept. 4

Torah Vodaath breakfast

CONGREGATION OHAB ZEDEK, located at 134-01 Rockaway Beach Boulevard in Belle Harbor, is hosting an annual breakfast reception to benefit Yeshiva & Mesvita Torah Vodaath. Rabbi Fischel Schachter, the noted Dial-a-Daf lecturer will be speaking on the topic of Elul- Z’man Teshuvah. The event begins at 8:45 a.m. for more information, contact 718-474-3300.

Chabad Family BBQ

Sept. 7

Anniversary Dinner

PRIORITY-1 is holding its 24th anniversary dinner at Lawrence Country Club, located at 101 Causeway in Lawrence, honoring its programs aimed at retaining Torah observance among at-risk teens, including its Torah Academy High School, Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh and Community training Institute. The event begins at 7 p.m. For reservations and information, contact 516-295-5700.

Sept. 13-15 Nesenoff film premiere

SIMON WIESENTHAL CENTER, will be showing a film by The Jewish Star’s publisher David F. Nesenoff at its Museum of Tolerance, located at 226 East 42 Street in Manhattan. The film “Three Thousand Miles� documents Nesenoff’s

Dr. Joseph Frager (L) and Dr. Paul Brody, who brought Glenn Beck to the Knesset last month, together with Odeleya Jacobs (not shown), for a Hasbara campaign for Israel and the Jewish people, flank Glenn Beck in Jerusalem, who organized a series of rallies from August 21-24 to speak out to the world on behalf of Israel and the Jewish people. Beck’s Knesset presentation was coordinated with Knesset Deputy Speaker, MK Danny Danon, (2nd from right) and MK Nissim Ze’ev (not shown). At right is Nitsana Darshan-Leitner of Shurat HaDin-Israel Law Center who represents hundreds of terror victims and is credited with stopping the flotilla from Greece by legal means. During a masterful oratorical presentation, Glenn Beck proclaimed that he would be the first to literally give his life for the State of Israel and its people. travels across the county discussing the topic of anti-Semitism. The screenings will be on Sept. 13, 14, and 15 at 6:30 p.m. To reserve your free seat, contact 3kmilesmovie@gmail.com or contact David F. Nesenoff at dnesenoff@thejewishstar.com

Sept. 17 Elul Kumsitz

YOUNG ISRAEL OF LAWRENCE-Cedarhurst, located at 8 Spruce Place in Cedarhurst, is holding a special Elul Kumzitz featuring divrei Torah from Rav Moshe Weinberger and the music of Yonatan Razel, composer of V’hi Sheh’amda. The kumzitz will take place on Motzai Shabbos, at 9:30 p.m. Admission is $15. The seating will be separate.

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Project Child after-school

SAMUEL FIELD YM-YWHA is offering Project Child, an after-school program for children ages 5-15 with ADD, ADHD, Asperger’s syndrome, learning disabilities, and high-functioning within the Autism Spectrum. This program operates during the school year at the Bay Terrace Center, located at 212-00 23rd Avenue in Bayside. Homework help and snack are provided daily, as well as educational and recreational activities. Events are held daily from 2:30 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. during the school year. For fees, registration and more information, contact Meredith Zylberberg at 718423-6111 ext. 228 or MZylberberg@sfy.org

For more information, contact 516-569-3324.

Sept. 20

Harry & Eddie: Birth of Israel

JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS presents Harry & Eddie: The Birth of Israel, a play by Mark Weston on the relationship between President Harry S. Truman and his Jewish friend Eddie Jacobson, who was influential in Truman’s decision to recognize the state of Israel. The event will be at Temple Israel, located at 140 Central Avenue in Lawrence. Weston will answer questions from the audience after the play. The event begins

YOUNG ISRAEL OF QUEENS VALLEY, located at 141-55 77 Avenue in Kew Gardens Hills is hosting a weekly Torah learning event for men, where men may learn on any Torah topic of choice with a kollel member of Yeshivas Chofetz Chaim. The learning takes place every Wednesday from 8:15 p.m. to 9:15 p.m. For more information, contact Rabbi Noach Rabovsky at 561-702-9351 or noach. rabovsky@gmail.com

Great Neck Sisterhood “Flower Power Fundraising�

GREAT NECK SYNAGOGUE, located at 26 Old Mill Road in Great Neck has an account with Flower Power Fundraising and encourages the public to place orders at flowerpowerfundraising. com under the name “Sisterhood of Great Neck Synagogue.� 50 percent of every purchase on this website foes to synagogue’s sisterhood. For more information, contact 516-487-6100.

Membership Drive

THE SUBURBAN PARK JEWISH CENTER, located at 400 Old Westbury in East Meadow, is conducting a membership drive. The Jewish Center has the lowest membership dues in the area and membership includes free Hebrew School tuition and free High Holy Days tickets. There is no building fund and special discounts are offered to new members. For more information, call the synagogue at 516-796-8833.

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at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $18. For reservations and information, call 516-569-6733.

496248

September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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13

It’s Labor Day. Can school be not too far ahead?

W

ith this summer’s unusual earthquake and a hurricane now safely behind us, our minds and reading habits are shifting towards the high holidays and new school year. Even for many of us who do not have children in school anymore, our interest in education transcends generations and is the hallmark of our sacred faith. With this in mind, there are three wonderful books that I wish to bring to your attention, all themed towards education, unique in their presentment yet united in the Chassidic point of view on the topic. Two of the books are published by the Crown Heights-based Kehot Publication Society; and the third by Gal Einai of Kfar Chabad in Israel. They share a passion of education as an enhancement instrument in the service to G-d in an informed and intelligent Alan Jay Gerber manner. “The Principles of Education and Guidance” first published in 1990 with a second revised printing in 2010 is a treatise by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, of blessed memory. This discourse was first written and delivered in 1898 in Yiddish, and first published in Hebrew in 1944 entitled, Klalei Hachinuch Vehahadracha. A half century later it was translated in English for wider dissemination. Among the topics addressed in this work are the following: The student’s character; and classification of people based on four determinants to in-

clude Torah scholars, business people, class, and place of residence. These distinctions are further broken down and evaluated as to their impact upon education. The section on the environment, poverty and wealth has an uncanny contemporary ring to it. The role of the educator is addressed in terms of an educator’s self-understanding of his or her own limitations, as well as those of their charges, and of the impact these factors have upon the total educational picture. The second work is an anthology from the works of Rabbi Menachem M. Scheerson, of blessed memory, and is titled, “The Educator’s Privilege”, compiled by Rabbi Eliyahu Friedman and translated by Rabbi Aryeh Leib Solomon [2010]. This work is organized into six parts, dealing with the obligation of education, the happy lot of the educator – a must read for every teacher and administrator, the uniqueness of chinuch as a sacred calling, the legacy of the previous six rebbes as spiritual role models in education, the role that words of encouragement can have upon the education of a child, and lastly, five brief essays on the role of the festivals in education. These writings by the late rebbe provide for all of us a series of inspiring teachings that should help to further encourage all of us in dedicating much of our communal resources to guaranteeing to our youth the best quality education. What makes this work so special is the inclusion of a philosophy and values system in the rebbe’s remarks that help frame those teachings by giving them, and the readers in turn, a better appreciation as to what really is education in the eyes and mind, as well as heart of our sacred faith. The third book is titled “The Art of Educa-

tion” [2005] written by American-born Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh, a graduate of Yeshiva University, where he received an MS in math in 1965. Soon after graduating, he made aliya to Israel where he took on a career in teaching and lecturing on mysticism and Jewish theology, relating them to contemporary subjects and disciplines in science, politics, the arts, and psychology. The book under review is a very complicated one wherein the author attempts to weave together his concepts of what constitutes education and relates it to various kabbalistic concepts and teachings as well as its application to a values system that all work in tandem with his view of what the Jewish

Mike’s Bistro I

t is a plus that so many kosher restaurants have stellar menus. But that makes it difficult to choose just a few items to try. That is why I love the growth of multiple course tasting menus that allow you to try a smaller quantity of a number of items. These menus succeed in providing a snapshot of a restaurant’s culinary style. One of the first kosher dining establishments to integrate a tasting selection on their menu was Mike’s Bistro on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. A comfortable but classic American THE KOSHER Fusion style restaurant, the bistro is CRITIC styled with raw brick and blond wood. The ambiance manages to strike the ever-important balance between highend dining and friendly neighborhood restaurant. Mike’s provides plenty of elbowroom at its tables so that you never feel like your meal or company is overcrowding you. I sat down to my meal knowing that I would be eating the seven course tasting menu, and expecting a positive experience, what I didn’t expect was to be blown away by the food that Mike’s Bistro presented me with. The small cup of porcini mushroom Zechariah Mehler consommé tasted like a hot distilled essence of mushroom with an earthy depth of flavor that opened up that palate putting me in the mood to eat more I was then served a grilled watermelon and tomato salad with endives and balsamic. Though very different tasting, the sweetness of the balsamic, watermelon and tomato harmoniously combined the various elements in the dish. Next was a red snapper with a corn sauce and a sofrito of onion and pepper. The fish had a crispy skin and perfectly flaky meat. The

Photo by Zechariah Mehler

Upper West side, MIke’s Bistro, offers high end dining in a friendly neighborhood atmosphere. light flavors were enhanced by the addition of the corn sauce making this an amazingly light but flavorful dish. Three dishes in and I was cruising. The portion sizes were very manageable and the progression of dishes was well thought out so that it capitalized on what flavors the palate would want after each successive dish. Fourth in line was gnocchi with a chicken and duck confit and portabella mushrooms. The gnocchi was light and airy, soaking up the delicious flavor of the confit. This was by far my favorite Mike’s Bistro item. My first entree course consisted of an oven-roasted chicken breast served over beluga lentils and black truffles with a small side of English peas, baby corn and apple cider au jus.

religion and the education of its youth constitutes. Studded throughout is an uncanny element of self-reflection and a sharp attempt at giving the reader the impression that kabbalistic teachings are at the heart of Jewish theology, something that to this writer is of dubious credibility. Nevertheless, this work deserves your attention if education is of interest to you for herein Rabbi Ginsburgh presents an interesting take in the book’s first section titled, “The Roots of Education”, especially where he develops his take on Abraham as a model educator, the role of prayer, willpower, and self-discovery. Read, enjoy, and learn.

The chicken breast was impossibly moist, going perfectly with the earthy flavor of the lentils and the mild sweetness of the peas. Tying it all together was the mild acidity that came from the apple cider au jus. This was a truly amazing take on roast chicken and what made it even better was the knowledge that I would usually not order a chicken dish at a restaurant that serves red meat. Having tried Mike’s Bistro’s oven roasted chicken breast however I will have to rethink the way I order the next time I go there. By course number six I didn’t even feel like slowing down. I was given a braised boneless short rib with sweet potato, kale and cilantro turnip sauce. The rib was cooked to perfection and literally melted in my mouth. Its flavor was sweet but robust and quite phenomenal. I particularly like the kale and an alternative to something more common like spinach but I did feel that the sweet potato felt a little redundant in both flavor and texture. The may also be because I am personally not the hugest fan of sweet potato. The meal concluded with a simple yet delicious mango sorbet and a fresh blueberry crunch. It was just the right amount of sweet to end the meal. At the end of these seven courses I had a definite snap shot of what Mike’s Bistro’s food is all about. It’s about creating simple home-style dishes with elegance and sophistication. It makes all of the food have a comforting feel to it while maintaining an upscale personality. Mostly I was impressed that after seven courses I felt full but not so much that I was bursting at the seams. There was a particular attention given to insure that everything presented was done so with serious skill and thought as to complimentary flavor profiles and the consumers palate. Should you find yourself going to Mike’s Bistro I strongly urge you to call ahead and order the seven course-tasting menu. I also would recommend splurging the extra twenty dollars and including the wine paring with your tasting. If and when you go make sure to stop and say hello because I will definitely be their enthusiastically eating the gnocchi Zechariah Mehler is a widely published food writer and expert in social marketing. Follow him on Twitter @thekoshercritic

THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

The Kosher Bookworm


September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Ask Aviva

Supportive and grieving Dear Aviva,

My close friend just told me that his father is nearing the end. I have been very close with him ever since his father was diagnosed with cancer several years ago, and I can’t stop thinking about him now. How can I be supportive of my friend while allowing him to undergo his personal grieving process? What should I be doing? -Feeling Friend

Dear Feeling Friend,

Your friend is lucky to have you—you are someone who is thinking of him, who wants to be supportive on your friend’s terms, and you are one who realizes your limitations and seeks guidance for the sake of another. Now, to answer your question: I can’t answer it. I have no idea what your friend needs, but I believe there is one way to find this answer. It is to be a daily presence in his life in some fashion or another. If you pop in, call, text or email, you will be more likely to figure out what your friend needs. Often, someone in your friend’s situation doesn’t even know what he will need that day until the moment of need arises. That is why I think you should be pushy in a gentle way here—so that when your friend needs someone or something, all he will have to do is text back, “Yes please.” Additionally, a person’s life is so rocky during this sort of time that your daily check-in can serve as one of the few constants that your friend can rely on. So how can we make this whole thing of you actually

helping him happen? Well, first rule is to cut out the vague style of offering assistance. Be direct. “What can I do for you now?” “Can I do a shift in the hospital?” “How can I help you today?” “I’m in the neighborhood. What can I pick up for you?” “Would you like me to ___?” Some people are stuck playing martyr and have a very hard time asking for or accepting help. So you can either chalk it up and say to yourself, “I’m doing my part, and it’s his choice whether or not to take the bait,” or you can try to make it look like he is doing you the favor. Not an easy task when someone is clearly in need. You can also sneak things in, like when you offer to park his car after driving with him to the hospital, go the extra mile and fill up the tank with gas and don’t even mention it. You cannot imagine how much little things mean when a person is putting his life on hold to watch a loved one pass on. Even if he doesn’t take you up on things outright, your effort will mean something to him. If he keeps refusing your help excessively, it may mean that you need to step back and give him space. Don’t stop suddenly, and don’t get all huffy on him. Instead, tell him that you want to be there for him, but you don’t want to smother him. Let him know that you will tone it down but are still eager to help him in any way. And now for the help with grieving: The grieving is already starting and you can help him by using your ears. You will have to catch snippets of this randomly. As you pass him a take-out menu, he may let out, “I never thought I would see my father so feeble.” That’s when you put your keys down and look at your friend and give him a chance to continue talking. Don’t try to make it better, because you cannot. Just

sit with it. Another word of caution—before getting any third parties involved to help your friend, run it by him. He may really appreciate it, but if he doesn’t then you would be adding unnecessary stress to his life by hooking him up with meals from the shul. Especially if you know that he’d be more than ok with a Honey BBQ steak sandwich from Shnitzel Time. So, Feeling Friend, continue feeling. These feelings, acted out, will catapult you two from friends to family. -Aviva Aviva Rizel is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice that can be reached at 347-292-8482 or AvivaRizel. MFT@gmail.com.

Lawrence Village approves HAFTR gym expansion By Ariel Rosenbloom A zoning variance appeal by HAFTR gained the Lawrence Village Board of Appeals’ approval, moving forward the expansion plans for the school’s gym on Washington Avenue. “The building does have a gym but that gym is woefully inadequate on many levels,” said HAFTR’s attorney Ronald Goldman. “In terms of its size, in terms of facilitating and allowing spectators.” With an expanded gym, HAFTR would be able to play regulation games on home turf. Goldman said that traffic would not be a concern, as the number of spectators would remain the same, even as the number of games at the future facility picks up. “The current gym will not be attracting more people, it will just be facilitating the activities that much more.” In addition to interior expansion, this variance will also give birth to a sports facility that is both accessible and simply devoid of causing any possible interference with Central Avenue traffic and the nearby residents. Under architect John Capobianco’s design, there will be more parking spots on Frost Lane, where the buses are usually parked, reducing competition for on-street parking on nearby streets. “There were 38 existing parking spaces existing north of Washington and now there’s an additional 75 which would be on the existing academy area,” Capobianco said. “The way the gym works is that it’s an addition to the existing school. This is attached to the elementary school, you have access through the elementary school and there are additional outlets in the back so that the visiting team and spectators can come in through the back rather than walking in through the school.” HAFTR’s appeal was backed by Congregation Beth Sholom, the Lawrence-Cedarhurst

Photo courtesy of John Capobianco

Architectural rendering of the proposed HAFTR gym expansion. Fire Department and the Brandeis School, drafting letters of support for the gym expansion. “Whether it be to neighbors, adjoining facilities or institutions, the new gym would be put in a location that would absolutely have no detriment to the community,” Goldman said. “In times past, people were concerned in terms of height. It’s all being consistent and it’s all interior so there won’t be any impact on anyone, certainly no impact on the environment.”

HAFTR’s previous attempts at accommodating its growing student body include a brief partnership with Rambam Mesivta (and later on Shalhevet), in forming the Machon HaTorah sports and academic facility. At the Sept. 2008 groundbreaking ceremony, the new “Torah and Athletic Center” that would have hosted sports games, shiurim, minyanim and assemblies for all three Machon HaTorah Divisions. Unfortunately, those plans remain in the ground to this day.

Goldman and Capobianco argued that the new facility would produce an upward effect on the neighborhood’s market value. “People would want to move into the community knowing that it has a school with these facilities,” Capobianco said. “Just by virtue of its location and where it is, next to Beth Sholom and with the Brandeis School behind it, it’s in an area where its commensurate with the space.”


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1. Year during the Geonic period 5. Pitches 9. Metal wastes 14. Typical Al Jazeera viewer 15. Unnamed others, briefly 16. ___ incognita 17. Jerome who composed “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” 18. “That’s ___!” (angry retort) 19. Empire that destroyed the Second Temple 20. Rosh Hashana snack 23. Used cars, say 24. Tamar’s second husband 25. Nonkosher lunch, for short 26. Slip a Mickey to 28. Levin who wrote “The Stepford Wives” 31. Midrash on Numbers and Deuteronomy 34. Righteous gentile Miep 35. Injure badly 36. 1938 meeting to discuss refugees 39. Technion trial 40. ___ Israel (D.C. synagogue) 41. “I Stand Here Ironing” author Tillie 42. Villain’s laugh 43. ___ HaTorah (outreach organization) 44. One-time bane of refuseniks 45. Title for Heinrich Heine 47. Halachist Moses Isserles 51. Most widely circulated newspaper in Israel 54. Wall Street and Madison Avenue 55. Sharon’s nickname 56. Burden 57. Grammy winner Gorme 58. Series opener? 59. She played Simka on “Taxi” 60. Fashion designer Zac 61. Complimentary ticket 62. Egg cream ingredient

Down

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THE JEWISH STAR September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771

The Jerusalem Post Crossword Puzzle

15


Photo by Alyson Goodman

The force of the waves knocked lifeguard headquarters off of its foundation and into the boadwalk.

Irene floods the towns Photo by Arthur Findlay

West Hudson Street took on the appearance of a canal. The storm made a mess of the beach with sand blowing into the streets and the shoreline reaching to the boardwalk.

Photo by Arthur Findlay

When the water receded there was a mess left on Broadway.

Photo by Alyson Goodman

HOLIDAY GREETINGS in

Appearing in our Sept. 23rd issue Wish your customers, family and friends a

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To Purchase your Holiday Greeting please call (516) 569-4000 x291.

September 2, 2011 • 3 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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