September 7, 2012

School updates Page 3 Rabbi Yona Metzger and Councilman Halloran discuss Israel Page 6 Who’s in the kitchen and back to school Page 7 Kosher Bookworm reviews Rabbi Cooper Page 11

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VOL 11, NO 35 ■ SEPTEMBER 7, 2012 / 20 ELUL 5772

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Keeping his kipa on his head and his eye on the ball

By Malka Eisenberg The hollow sound of the ball hitting the DecoTurf at the United States Open Tennis Championships in Queens echoes loudly in the tense silence of the packed stadium as the players serve, volley and race after the ball. At the edge of the court, a seemingly staunch island of calm, stony faced, stands the ball person, but he is coiled and ready to run and grab an errant ball, hand a towel to a sweaty player, or toss another ball to be served.

In spite of all the rushing, ball boy Donny Steinberg, 16, of Great Neck, a graduate of Yeshiva Har Torah and a senior at DRS High School, manages to keep his black suede kipa firmly on his head—he uses four bobbie pins. He also catches mincha at the kosher stand. “Being a Jew is not all that different or difficult,” he said.

“Being a Jew is just being another person.”

“Someone asked if magic keeps the kipa on my head,” he recounted. “I was gonna play with her and

At left, ball person Donny Steinberg with eyes attentively on the game. say ‘yeah, it’s magic,’” but he didn’t.

Steinberg davens maariv once he gets home and keeps his tzitzis tucked in. He takes an earlier shift on Fridays, ending at four or five.

“They’re really flexible, they’re very nice,” he said.

Steinberg has been attending the U.S. Open with his father for

the last few years and when he noticed a ball person with a kipa, went with a friend to the tryouts last year in June. Steinberg didn’t make the cut then, but did this year.

So many were trying out, he said, that he had to wait six hours “for 90 seconds to show if you can run on the court.” He said if you make the cut, there is a second tryout of 20

minutes, demonstrating throwing, running, and control of the ball.

He noted that there are 300 ball persons (male and female) and that about twelve are Orthodox Jews.

He said that it’s a “diverse, multicultural, very friendly atmosphere.

As you walk to and from work you say ‘hi, what’s your name?’ You work as a team; there is a lot of communication. It’s like round robin, every shift there is a new group of six people. You get to meet a lot of people.”

He explained that there are six ball persons at each match, two in the back, two in the front and two on either side of the net. He also noted that there are always six balls on the court; the player has one in his or her hand and one in a pocket, two with the ball person on the front right and two with the ball person in the back left.

Steinberg is a “rookie” now and is paired with a veteran, someone who was a ball person before.

Rookies are told when to hold an umbrella, for the sun, for the players, when to hand a towel, when to

talk to players. The ball person’s shift is broken up with two hours on court and an hour and a half off, alternating. Ball persons can be age 14 and up. He noted that most are in high school and college, although there are some in their 30s and 40s. “One is 64,” he said.

There are different shifts; Steinberg’s is 12:30 pm to 7 or 8 pm. The job pays $8 an hour rain or shine over three weeks with four days off.

Steinberg is taking off the Shabbatot and a day for school, starting this week. The two weeks of the “main draw,” the week before and after Labor Day, are when people “pay” to see the matches and it’s “exciting,” he explained.

During the match, he stressed, “You have to pay attention to the player and sometimes ignore the ball coming at you. If the player is asking for a ball or towel, you focus on the player, and get the ball that’s coming at you later. You have to take care of the player’s needs, but there is limited interaction with the players. I’m always doing calContinued on page 4

Helping students score off the ice

By Karen C. Green

Photo courtesy Dan KArp

Mathnasium’s Dan Karp scores goals on the ice is helping students achieve theirs in the classroom

They gained a reputation locally for scoring goals on the ice. Now, Dan and Michael Karp are helping fellow Five Towners score in a much different arena, and assisting them in reaching their goal. Dan, a 27 year old Woodmere native and hockey extraordinaire, who’s #4 jersey was retired

by HAFTR (’03 HS), has recently opened Mathnasium in the Five Towns, a learning center specializing in tutoring math ,grades K – 12 including SAT and test preparation.

Dan, together with his brother Michael, 23, who also is a hockey enthusiast and formerly with an executive recruiting firm specializing in IT placement, opened the learning center in March. Dan, who studied international business and nutrition, initially came on board with Mathnasium as

a consultant, focused on helping to reorganize international operations . Currently Dan wears two hats, as owner of the Cedarhurst Mathnasium center and as the international performance and franchise business consultant to 60 centers in the northeast and 12 countries.

“Math is universal,” noted Dan who has traveled extensively on behalf of the company.

“I’ve had meetings with centers in Vietnam, Singapore, Hong Kong, Peru, Dominican Republic, and Columbia.”

The two brothers who describe themselves as having completely different skill sets that complement each other, are excited to be working together, and in their community, and stress how the Mathnasium approach is different and apart from other tutoring centers. “ Opening in the Five Towns is an opportunity to work with my brother Michael, who is a math Continued on page 3

Shabbat Candlelighting: 6:59 p.m. Shabbat ends 7:58 p.m. 72 minute zman 8:28 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Ki Tavo First night of Slichot Motzai Shabbat

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By Efrem L. Epstein As the clock approaches midnight this Saturday Evening, Jewish communities around the globe will gather to plead for G-d’s ear and forgiveness. The centerpiece Pizmon (refraining hymn) of the inaugural Ashkenazic Slichot Service begins with the following words: ”B’Motzaei Menucha Kidamnucha Techilla, Hat Aznecha Mimarom Yoshev Tehilla“ “Dear G-d, As Shabbat departed we consciously began our new week by coming to you, so please, please take time to listen to our prayers.”

Midnight will also usher in another seasonal period for a different, but not totally separate, set of domestic communities. September 9th will begin National Suicide Prevention Week, designed to annually surround World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10th.

The concept of our organization, Elijah’s Journey, was born at the World Suicide Prevention Day Gathering at the United Nations on September 10, 2009. A diverse array of presenters (many of them Jewish) spoke of the need to tailor effective programming and messaging to the specific nuances of one’s own community. It was heartening to hear about the innovative programs designed to promote suicide awareness and prevention in a wide range of demographics. The Jewish community may not have been the only group unmentioned on that day, but it was that omission that mattered most to us.

The national statistics on suicide are shocking. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention estimates that there are more than 1 million domestic suicide attempts each year.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report that there are nearly 37,000 confirmed suicides annually in America (the unreported estimate is likely closer to 50,000).

To put that in context, not only do reported suicides outnumber annual motor vehicle deaths, but they also outnumber homicides by a ratio of 2:1 (with the unreported suicide estimate outnumbering homicides by a ratio of nearly 3:1)! So many of our life decisions are focused on keeping ourselves and those close to us from being victims of preventable accidents or violence. Do we devote even a fraction of that same amount of effort and thought to insure that we and those around us are emotionally safe as well?

Intentional or not, the Rabbis selected Haf-

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Miriam’s Musings On the Calendar Parsha Politico to Go Who’s in the Kitchen

tarot for the High Holidiays that open our eyes to the humanity of this issue. On the first day of Rosh Hashannah we learn about Channa, whose depression stems from being childless but whose pain is exacerbated by the bullying of her husband’s other wife. On the second day, we read Jeremiah’s vision of Rachel grieving and crying over the misfortune of her descendants. At Mincha on Yom Kippur, we hear Jonah’s pleas for G-d to take his life.

The settings may have changed but many aspects of the stories remain the same. There are plenty among us who are struggling, many silently, in manners not unlike Channa, Rachel and Jonah. We know because we’ve heard their stories. Some are married or in relationships, others are single. Some are gay, some are straight. Some are CEOs, some are unemployed. Some are in college, some are in their 60s. Some pray three times a day, others have been to synagogue less than three times this year. No demographic is immune.

For the general suicide awareness/prevention community, 5772 was a very important year. It was the year that the sitting Vice President of the U.S. spoke openly about his past suicidal thoughts and millions of Bruce Springsteen fans learned of his battle with depression. It was the year that the NFL launched a suicide awareness/prevention program for its players, alumni, employees and their families, prompting former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. David Satcher to declare, “It’s time for us as a nation to deal more aggressively with issues related to mental health, and by the NFL dealing with it, it’s going to encourage a lot of other people to deal with it.”

Many wonderful and otherwise inclusive Jewish communities still appear uncomfortable talking about issues of suicide and depression. But people in virtually every synagogue are fighting these emotional battles. We may not know who they are, but they will be there and possibly even davening right next to us.

As we plead for G-d to hear our prayers on Slichot Night, may our ears also be opened to the silent cries of the Channas, Rachels and Jonahs in our midst.

Efrem L. Epstein is the founder of Elijah’s Journey (www.elijahsjourney.net), an organization focusing on suicide awareness and prevention in the Jewish community.

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September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772 THE JEWISH STAR

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Continued from page 1 genius. We (Mathnasium) are not a band-aid, we are a long term fix,” said Dan. The Karp brothers describe the satisfaction they reap from the kids’ “ahha! moments.” “We find that kids don’t hate math, they hate being confused by math. We make math make sense. Our learning plans are customized to suit individual needs. “ Dan and Michael stress that Mathnasium offers the gamut, “ Remediation to maintenance to enrichment.

Our amotto is ‘catch up, keep up and get ahead’.”

According to Michael there are ” two different aspects at a macro level, doing math, and reading math, the latter being the first level of attack especially with the SAT. Once you understand where you need to start, the rest begins to unfold.”

Learning at Mathnasium takes place one on one in a group setting, according to Dan Karp. “We let the student attack the problem on their own, it’s not a typical tutoring session.

We want to see and witness their thought process. It’s more tactile, more visual. The more we understand the students, the better we can help them.”

With 330 centers operating in the United States and twelve countries including Israel, Mathnasium’s approach is much akin to a gym. ‘There are no miracles,” stated Michael.

“What you put into it is what you’re going to get out of it.”

“We look forward to welcoming back students that were away for the summer, students that joined us over the summer, and new students this year,” said Dan. Both brothers describe the sense of accomplishment when a student says “the world makes so much more sense to me now.” The feeling of confidence that kids get from excelling in school carries over into other areas in life, they both noted.

Dan and Michael look forward to greeting parents and their children at the center’s upcoming Open House this Sunday, September 9 from 2 to 5:30 p.m.

Photo courtesy of Mathnasium

Photos courtesy Dan Karp

Mathnasium’s Cedarhurst center on Central Avenue is state of the art and conduscive to learning.

Dan and Michael Karp look forward to working together and in their community.

What’s new in school?

Mesivta Ateres Yaakov There are many new and exciting changes at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov this year. Rabbi Yossi Bennet has joined the administration as the new Assistant Menahel and assistant principal. Rabbi Bennet will help strengthen the educational experience for all of the talmidim under his tutelage. Rabbi Yehuda Orlansky is the new 12th grade Rebbi and also a co-Israel advisor. Rabbi Orlansky has joined MAY from the staff of the Yeshiva Gedolah at Ateres Yaakov where his wisdom and insight made him a very sought after rebbi. The Mesivta is also pleased to welcome Rabbi Noach Haller as the new director of development and Mr. Richard Miller as the new executive director.

The Yeshiva Gedolah has also undergone a major change this year and they are very grateful to have Rabbi Meir Braunstein, shlit”a, formerly senior magid shiur at Yeshiva Aderes HaTorah. Rabbi Braunstein learned in the Mir Yeshiva in Yerushalayim and received his Smicha from Rabbi Moshe Shternbach, shlit”a. Designed for bochurim returning from study in Eretz Yisrael, the Yeshiva Gedolah provides a serious yet warm environment for Bnei Torah aspiring to continue their growth and development in Torah and Yiras Shomayim. Yeshiva Gedolah also has a night seder that is open to members of the community, offering them an experience of a lifetime, to once again learn in a yeshiva environment with outstanding chevrusas.

Mesivta Ateres Yaakov is in the process of building a new state of the art science laboratory funded by a generous grant from the Gruss foundation. The students who take the new A.P. chemistry course and A.P. biology course will make maximum use of this lab. The Mesivta also offers many other A.P courses, including history and calculus.

Once again Mesivta Ateres Yaakov is proud to highlight their CIJE program. The goal of CIJETech is to give students an appreciation of how science and technology affects their lives on a personal and global level. This

will be done largely through involving the students in hands-on projects and project contests. The course will provide a basic understanding of electrical engineering as well as mechanical engineering through discussions of the physics involved.

The staff at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov is very happy about all of the new changes and believes that this year will be their most exciting and successful year ever. For more information contact Rabbi Yaffe, Menahel of Mesivta Ateres Yaakov, at 516 374-6465.

Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls Even with the largest enrollment in its history, engaging and supporting all SKA students in learning remains the goal for 2012-2013.

The collaboration between SKA’s administrators, faculty members, and auxiliary staff, mark workshops geared to each student on educational, technological, and spiritual levels. Beginning with the Freshmen Shabbaton, to be held this weekend upstate in Camp Kaylie, and continuing with an innovative new program for college guidance, SKA focuses on the needs of every student in the school.

One of the innovative efforts this year at SKA includes a New Teacher Induction Program, where new faculty members receive a mentor for the school year, helping new teachers become familiar with, and transition into, the school. Other programs include a 100% Hebrew Reading Program and a schoolwide Tefila Initiative. Holocaust Studies, Biotechnology, given in conjunction with the CIJE (Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education), and AP World History are new courses offered to students.

The Parent Learning Institute has expanded Torah classes and growth opportunities with SKA faculty and staff.

Lilmod Ule’lamed shiurim, Parsha with Rabbi Eisenbach, and Sefer Shmuel with Mrs. Kaminetsky, are available along with several alumnae shiurim.

For more information, please contact Mrs. Helen Spirn, Head of School, at hspirn@

skahalb.org or 516-374-7195, ext. 2.

HAFTR High School HAFTR High School has done significant construction and reorganization in their building, and students, parents and teachers will now be able to access any and all of the yeshiva’s student support services in the new Center for Student Services. Ms. Naomi Lippman, principal of General Studies, noted that the school is deeply committed to facilitating the academic, social, emotional and religious growth of every student, and the aesthetically beautiful and efficient Center for Student Services reflects this commitment.

The Center for Student Services will house the HAFTR High School Achievement Center offices and classroom; the school’s Resource Room; the Test Accommodations Center; and the offices of all of the personnel who work with students to provide academic, social or other types of support. The offices of HAFTR High School’s director of Student Services, Achievement Center director, Achievement Center teacher, school psychologist and social workers are all now located in the Center for Student Services. The Center will enable all of the Student Services professionals to be more effective and accessible to students, parents and colleagues.

HAFTR High School is partnering with the Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education to introduce a new elective in Scientific Technology to qualified students in the incoming freshman class. The class, beginning this September, will offer students a comprehensive introduction to scientific engineering.

Students will engage in hands-on projects to facilitate the learning of principles of physical and electrical engineering, computer programming and robotics. The curriculum for the course has been developed by the Israel Sci-Tech Schools Network, which includes over 180 science and technology institutes in Israel. The SciTech course reflects HAFTR’s commitment to STEM—science, technology, engineering

and mathematics—and is geared to those students who are interested in enrichment and practical experience in these fields.

HAFTR High School has partnered with SAGE, a division of NCSY’s Judaic Scholars Institute, to offer an intensive college accredited course in Chumash (Biblical Literature) to boys and girls in 11th and 12th grade. Rabbi Gedaliah Oppen, principal of Judaic Studies, explained that juniors and seniors in the Honors Chumash classes will be participating in the SAGE course during their regularly scheduled Chumash period.

The course, Biblical Literature 201, “In the Beginning, Genesis Unveiled,” will cover the first twelve perakim of Sefer Bereshit. The classes will be conducted through a hybrid platform of Rabbi Dovid Fohrman’s video course presentations, coupled with the subject mastery and guidance of HAFTR High School Judaic studies teachers. Students who take the class and choose to enroll for the university credit option for a fee will receive three college credits. This course is currently accredited by the NCCRS, a division of the University of the State of New York.

Among those institutions accepting credit are Binghamton University, Queens College, Brooklyn College, CUNY, Touro and Yeshiva University.

Two illustrious graduates of HAFTR High School will be joining the Judaic Studies faculty of HAFTR High School this fall. Rabbi Avi Miller and Rabbi Avi Weber are returning to their alma mater to teach Talmud and Chumash. The yeshiva is thrilled to welcome these two wonderful rebbeim, who will be outstanding role models for HAFTR students.

Hebrew Academy of Nassau County HANC welcomes Rabbi Shlomo Adelman as he assumes the position of Menahel/ Principal of the HANC Brookdale Campus High School. A transplanted New Yorker, Rabbi Adelman comes to HANC from Houston, Texas where he served as Head of Upper School at the Emery/Weiner School.

Rabbi Adelman’s impeccable credentials, significant and broad experience in Jewish high school education, commitment to academic excellence, collaborative style and passion for nurturing each student’s potential is certain to benefit all of HANC’s students and staff members.

THE JEWISH STAR September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772

Woodmere brothers team up to be perfect equation

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September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772 THE JEWISH STAR

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Opinion Democrats strip pro-Israel language from 2012 platform

A

s President Obama told Russian President Medvedev a few months ago, he will have more flexibility to do what he wishes in a second term. If the Democratic platform is any indication, Obama’s “flexibility” is not going to be a good thing for the only democracy in the Middle East, Israel. In comparing the language of the 2008 Democratic Party Platform and the 2012 Democratic Party Platform a key section is missing.

Below is the section missing from the 2012 document. Pay special attention to the areas in bold: The United States and its Quartet partners should continue to isolate Hamas until it renounces terrorism, recognizes Israel’s right to exist, and abides by past agreements. Sustained American leadership for peace and security will require patient efforts and the personal commitment of the President of the United States. The creation of a Palestinian state through final status negotiations, together with an inPOLITICO ternational compensation mechaTO GO nism, should resolve the issue of Palestinian refugees by allowing them to settle there, rather than in Israel. All understand that it is unrealistic to expect the outcome of final status negotiations to be a full and complete return to the armistice lines of 1949. Jerusalem is and will remain the capital of Israel. The parties have agreed that Jerusalem is a matter for final staJeff Dunetz tus negotiations. It should remain an undivided city accessible to people of all faiths.

Each of these items is crucial to Israel and each has been a key area of contention for those who believe this President has not been friendly to the Jewish State.

The United States should continue to isolate Hamas until it renounces terrorism. By removing this sentence, is Obama preparing to give this group legitimacy? He has already done it with Hamas’ parent group, the Muslim Brotherhood that took over Egypt. CAIR, Hamas’ partner in the U.S., continues to be accepted by, and promoted by, liberal members of Congress, despite an FBI warning. ...should resolve the issue of Palestinian refugees by allowing them to settle there, rather than in Israel.

While the number of Palestinian refugees in 1949 was somewhere between 800,000-900,000, today the number is over 4 million. This group of refugees is the only example in history where the number has grown without a population shift (the UN counts the original refugees, their children, grandchildren, first cousin twice removed on their mother’s side, friends etc. as refugees).

Since they cannot defeat Israel militarily; one of the Palestinians’ strategies is to flood this Democratic country with “refugees” so it will cease to exist as a Jewish state via election. That is why the 2008 platform included the refugee statement.

In keeping with their strategy, the Palestinians refuse to recognize Israel as a Jewish state. And while the President has said Israel is the Jewish state, he has been very careful not to call for the recognition of Israel as the Jewish state. Is the removal of the “settle elsewhere” statement an indication that the President

agrees with the Palestinian “flood Israel with refugees” strategy? Can you think of another reason why he would back track? Remember that flexibility statement to Medvedev. ... All understand that it is unrealistic to expect the outcome of final status negotiations to be a full and complete return to the armistice lines of 1949. Obama walked away from that big time last May when he called for Israel to begin negotiations by agreeing to return to the 1949 lines. At the time, the Democrats said it was no change from previous policy--that was a lie. In 2008 he ran on the basis that a return to the 1949 lines was unrealistic. Why is that language missing from this year’s document?

Jerusalem is and will remain the capital of Israel.

During a press briefing at the end of July, Jay Carney refused to outline the President’s position on Jerusalem. Eventually the administration released a statement that Obama’s position remains unchanged, Jerusalem is not the capital of Israel because its final status has not yet been negotiated. That statement was a lie, but it is now codified with the omission from this year’s platform. Notice that the campaign isn’t even saying the borders of Jerusalem are subject to negotiation, which would mean that the western part of the city would remain with the Jewish state.

The Obama administration has removed all reference to Jerusalem from its platform, indicating a belief that the entire city is up for grabs.

Usually, one does not pay much attention to a party platform. However, in a close campaign, where most polls show the President’s share of the Jewish vote down anywhere from 13-18%, these changes were no accident. They are a clear indication of policy.

Even Alan Dershowitz, an Obama apologist, is concerned about the omission. He told the Daily Caller: ““I think one shouldn’t give too much weight to platform pronouncements, but in this case, I think the omissions are troubling — particularly the omission about the Palestinian refugee issue and Hamas are, I think, deeply troubling,” Upon hearing of the omission, the GOP candidate, Governor Romney, commented “It is unfortunate that the entire Democratic Party has embraced President Obama’s shameful refusal to acknowledge that Jerusalem is Israel’s capital. Four years of President Obama’s repeated attempts to create distance between the United States and our cherished ally have led the Democratic Party to remove from their platform an unequivocal acknowledgment of a simple reality. As president, I will restore our relationship with Israel and stand shoulder to shoulder with our close ally.”

Sometimes what a campaign doesn’t say is more important than what it says. In 2008, Barack Obama ran on a strong pro-Israel platform. Granted the platform’s pro-Israel language were promises the President did not keep. Those who believe in a strong United States/Israel alliance should be concerned that this year’s platform does not even pay lip service to these key issues for the future of the Jewish state.

If the Democrats have removed this pro-Israel section from their platform, I shudder to think what Obama has in store for Israel if he gets that flexibility he was talking about.

Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog “The Lid” (www.jeffdunetz.com).

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Follow the ball

Continued from page 1 culations, what to do with the ball, hold the ball, throw it over. It’s like driving a car; when you start, you have to focus on the mirrors, signaling. Once you get the hang of it, it comes as second nature and you enjoy it. You always have to anticipate what’s coming next, know the player wants a towel, know to throw the ball over. I have an advantage; I know how the game works. Some know baseball and have to pick up really quickly.”

Steinberg started playing tennis when he was 12. “I started playing with my dad as a kid. Once I started winning it was not much of a challenge.” He plays on the school team at DRS in the Yeshiva League against teams from MTA, North

Shore Hebrew Academy, Ramaz, Rambam, and SAR. A ball person has to be efficient and not interfere with the action.

“The greatest challenge,” emphasized Steinberg, “ is not being able to cheer for certain points, not being able to clap.” They also can’t comment. “One of the players asked for confirmation (of a point). I couldn’t answer so I just smiled,” he said.

He will probably be a ball person next year as well. “I’m now a rookie; next year I’ll be a vet. If I want to do it next year, it’s secure, I’ll get a job.

Each year you get promoted, more experience, better at it, get better matches, that’s the plus side to coming back. The salary is upgraded a few cents an hour, I think. If a Continued on page 15

Letters to the editor Anti-Anti?

To the Editor: In his predictable criticism of the statistically insignificant number of Rabbis for Obama who are on the board of Jewish Voice for Peace (an anti-Israel group) and those who are members of Rabbis for Human Rights (a pro two-state solution group that, unlike Jeff, has actually gone into Palestinian areas in West Bank to do their work, but never mind), Jeff wonders aloud how many more on the list he can smear.

I have a better idea. How about we ask how many rabbis for Romney oppose Israeli democracy? It’s way more than sixteen, I assure you.

How many have stood up for the refugees Israel’s racist interior minister, Eli Yishai has advocated expelling because, in Yishai’s words, Israel is a “white” country? (Are there any?)

How many have supported, in opposition to most of the American and Israeli Jewish publics, annexation of the West Bank? How many have supported anti-democratic legislation to punish Israelis for what they say or to require loyalty oaths?

Two can play this game, and in the end, the tiny number of rabbis supporting Obama who identify with the JVP will make a much smaller difference than the many more rabbis for Romney who favor ending Israeli democracy.

Michael Brenner Woodmere

Casting Stones To the Editor: Juda Engelmayer’s article (August 10) on the Westhampton Beach controversy was good. I agree, there is no valid reason to oppose an eruv which consists of almost invisible wires, on various bogus pretexts.

However, by concluding with a comment about the Charedi attacking the less observant, and the Orthodox man on the street averting his eyes so as not to wish a non-Orthodox Jew a good Sabbath is Mr. Engelmayer’s shameful commitment of anti-semitic racism.

His article on June 29 about

Jewish Unity was a bashfest against Charedis. He claims people were coerced to come to the internet Asifa.

It is-quite the contrary. In the many shuls that I frequent, people were seeking to get tickets. What seeker of unity would disparage that which was an outstanding and productive Kiddush Hashem.

He gratuitously declares that the Orthodox have weak leadership and and failed policies of poor education, ha his article on “unity” he makes sure to mention that the Orthodox have child abuse and sexual deviancy as if this typified the Orthodox. The Orthodox have the most beautiful, respectful, happiest, virtuous and religious families of any group on this planet, much more so than Mr. Engelmayer’s Conservative Jews.

He mentions that they spit on women, as if that was a mainstream activity. Attributing the misbehavior of literally a few individuals to a hundred thousand is racism at its worst.

He makes a point of mentioning a Charedi pushing a baby carnage into the street as a protest to stop some coed bus. It is wicked to cast the responsibility of such action, if it ever happened, on the entire community of Charedim. He goes so far as to equate them with suicide bombers. He concludes that the fanatics among us will divide us. It is the ilks of anti-semite, self hating Jews who weren’t strong enough to maintain their Torah heritage who divide us.

It is better to look down upon Jews who intentionally trample on the Torah than to heap filth on “those who chose to be more observant than oneself.” The fact is that groups such as’Satrnar ana non-hassidic communities invest a large amount of resources in helping not yet onbservant Jews. It is I personally who look down upon enemies within.

I just got a copy of the August 17 edition of The Jewish Star, and sure enough Mr. Engelmayer is with his “rocks thrown at modern Jewish people by haredim” again.

Someone like Engelmayer should never be given the opportunity to write for a Jewish newspaper. He blackens the name of your Jewish Star.

Joseph Friedman Brooklyn

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Hello, Goodbye, Sniff, Sniff I’ve been very teary this week, reacting strongly to beginnings and ends. I’ve felt my heart expand with joy and also break a little with sadness. There are airport arrivals and departures, the start of adventures, the end MIRIAM’S MUSINGS of an era, loved ones leaving while others return. I’ve attended a joyous engagement party, but, unfortunately, have also made a shiva call. A group hug made me sniffle. I even choked up at our outgoing assistant rabbi’s farewell speech.

My kids look at me Miriam Bradman with mild amusement, Abrahams (or is it disdain?) as my eyes fill up. I know what they’re thinking, “oh no, there she goes again.” I can’t help it, it’s my nature.

I’ve never been good at goodbyes. I mean beyond the traditional Jewish reluctance to depart, often becoming an endlessly lingering conversation on topics of sudden importance in the open doorway. I anticipate adieu’s with a tight knot of tension in the pit of my stomach, even when the separation will be temporary. I struggle to keep my equanimity, but it’s a losing battle. I

remember each time we left my father-inlaw, Grandpa Selwyn, at the Durban airport, I’d wonder when we’d meet again and promptly start the waterworks. The same goes for some aunties with whom I feel a close connection. Hellos could be extremely emotional, too; I was so nervous when I met my uncle from Cuba for the first and each of the few subsequent times. I had to swallow down the huge lump in my throat for fear that he’d think his long lost niece was too sentimental…

Those instances may validly merit emotional displays, but fairly regular events get me going too. I tear up when dropping off my son at college, at most milestone events, viewing old photos, even while raising a glass to a well-worded toast. My dad’s yearly Rosh Hashanah and Pesach seder talks can do it. So can a shehecheyanu blessing.

It takes way too much effort to sublimate my feelings so as to avoid a loss of control.

Holding it in is unpleasant and the emotion will probably explode out later at an inopportune time. Why not simply give in and allow the tears to flow naturally? I certainly know it would feel better.

Well, I suppose one reason is that I’ve already been asked by my child not to cry at the airport this weekend. I’ve noticed people get very embarrassed by public emotional displays and ironically also by silence.

It’s apparent in confrontations with extreme

Metzger and Halloran meet in Queens

By Malka Eisenberg New York City Council member Dan Halloran and Rabbi Yona Metzger, Israel’s Ashkenazic Chief Rabbi, met with rabbis and local activists to discuss Israel, circumcision, and other issues at a Queens parlor meeting Tuesday night.

Metzger listened attentively, and commented in accented English, as Halloran animatedly discussed his recent trip to Israel, specifically Judea and Samaria, with some explanations by host Dr. Joseph Frager.

In an hour and a half, free-wheeling conversation, Jonathan Pollard was mentioned with Dr. Frager pressing the case as a humanitarian issue and mentions of Metzger’s composition of a prayer to be recited daily for Pollard. Other topics discussed included the expulsion of Gush Katif, how an area called “cursed” by the Arabs, bloomed under Jewish tillage and became “blessed” only to be destroyed, the lack of a partner for Israel to discuss peace with, the bombs from Gaza into Sderot, and Halloran’s stated incomprehension of how and why Jews cannot live where they choose in Israel. Halloran noted that when the English sat down to discuss peace with Northern Ireland, the Irish had to lay down their weapons first. In contrast, he said, Israel armed the PLO and has no conditions, and no partner, for talking peace.

“I wasn’t there to have a nice time,” stressed Halloran, noting that his trip to Israel was a “fact-finding mission.” Speaking of the presidential election, he said that the “three issues central to the race are the economy, the economy, the economy.” He also said, “I don’t believe anybody should be pulled out of where they live. Race and

religion shouldn’t affect anything in my life.

Political correctness has infected the coun-

reactions like loud hysterical laughter or uncontrolled weeping. I’ve noticed a constant chatter at shivas, which seems to signify that visitors are uncomfortable with simply sitting together quietly when there’s really nothing to say. Fortunately we have scripts of traditional words to utter at those occasions, which, along with our presence, is all that’s needed.

Although I connect to the many principles of yoga, which are so similar to our own Jewish beliefs, there is at least one that is totally beyond me. The philosophy of nonattachment provides important guidance to help one stay away from negative traits and actions including addictions, toxic relationships or the need to attain and acquire unnecessary baggage. However, non-attachment may also be extended to concepts, beliefs, and even to positive connections to beings, both human and animal. The idea is that we are supposed to have enough faith and trust in G-d’s plan to be able to let go of our worries and expectations associated with material and non-material things. We should just be, without a care in the world.

That goes against my grain. I believe that healthy attachments to our loved ones are absolutely critical to our lives as humans. In fact, what else is there, really? Caring for and loving deeply give us meaning, purpose, and focus. For me, engaging with the special people in my life and being involved

in theirs is what it’s all about. It gives me opportunities to fully experience the range of highs and lows that come with having a heart and soul. Though of course I don’t actually want to deal with any of the low points, it’s a necessary evil which is probably what makes the good times so blissfully sweet.

As long as I actively participate in deep relationships with family and friends, I will continue to support the Kleenex company by keeping wads of tissues handy in my pockets at all times. (It would be great if I could remember to get rid of the clean ones instead of finding hundreds of bits and pieces flying around my dryer, but that’s another story.)

For despite my efforts to keep within the socially acceptable limit of outward emotion, it’s inevitable that I’ll be shedding tears, both anticipated and unexpected. So I will be that mom sniffling at drop off, or at best, valiantly keeping it together till the drive back home. I sincerely wish that, as much as is possible on this earth, there would be no reason for anyone to cry anything other than tears of joy.

Miriam Bradman Abrahams is Cuban born, Brooklyn bred and lives in Woodmere.

She organizes author events for Hadassah, reviews books for Jewish Book World and is very slowly writing her father’s immigration story. She is teaching yoga at Peaceful Presence Yoga Studio. mabraha1@optonline.net

HOLIDAY GREETINGS in

Continued on page 12

Will appear in our Sept. 14th issue Wish your customers, ds a family and friends

Shana Tova Photo by Karen Green

At a parlor meeting in Jamaica Estates on Tuesday evening, seated from left, Councilman Dan Halloran, Congressional candidate 6th District, Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger.

Standing, from left, Dr. Paul Brody, Vice President International Committee for the Land of Israel (ICLI), Dr. Joseph Frager, Chairman of the Board, ICLI, who hosted the event.

To Purchase your Holiday Greeting please call (516) 622-7461

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Spinach lasagna and the first day of school him to wear the first day at high school: dress slacks, white button down shirt and tie (everyone wore clip on ties in Rambam, so why not here). Those of you familiar with BTA know that slacks and ties were not the norm. Jerry found that out the first day when he entered the school and was roughed up by a bunch of seniors, who said, “Hey look at that one.”

The next day, and all those that followed, Jerry would change into jeans, and work shoes (borrowed from Joe Sprung), which he kept in his locker. Of course, on occasion, when he would bump into his mom, while out on Ave M, he had some “splainin” to do.

When my eldest, Daniel, was in third grade and my second, Jeremy, was entering first, the night before the first day was right out of a Larry David episode. Daniel threw all of his supplies in his knapsack and was done in less than five minutes. Jeremy, on the other hand was still working on his pencils 20 minutes later. Daniel walked over and after watching him for a minute asked what exactly he was doing. Jeremy explained that he was standing the pencils on their erasers and then sharpening each pencil so that all the pencils were the same height. Daniel, in a move ala Ralph Kramden to Jeremy’s Art Carney, said, “Give me those pencils”...and proceeded to shove them in a pencil box, saying, “No one is going to care if your pencils are the same height.”

Jordana, my youngest, was a bit nervous

for her first day of school, but in no time learned to charm the teachers and learned the ropes. She was the only student I know who could read the inside flap of a book and receive an A on her book report. She also worked her magic on me. What started out as “Jordana, you can do it, you’re smart, just reread the question,” turned into, “you have to read the information first before you can try to answer the question, try again,” which ended up as “just go to sleep. I’ll finish it for you.”

To this day, I think if I were able to see her face as she bounded up the steps, I would see a smile of victory on her face. Not the case when she forgot a book three days in a row that she needed to study for a midterm. On the day before the test, I called the secretary and asked if she could call Jordana to the office and remind her to bring the book home.

Upon returning home she said, “I can’t believe you called the school and had me paged to the office to remind me to bring the book home.” I said “At least you brought the book home, that’s what matters. You have a test tomorrow.” After a few moments of silence, I said “You did bring the book home, right?”

So there we were, trying to find a way into the locked school that night to retrieve the book.

Years later, all those first days, first tests, and first projects are way behind them. One is a lawyer, one is starting his second year of law school and Jordana is still up to her tricks

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Back to school, those dreaded three words....to kids, that is. Most parents can be seen dancing in the streets come the first day of school. Of course we, as parents, deal with all the issues leading up to the first day of school. Will our kids be with their friends?

Will they have the best teacher? Will the kid that tormented them last year, hopefully, be put in another class?

When my eldest started school, I never thought I had to be on top of what class, which friends and which teacher he would have. Don’t you worry, by the time my second son started two-year nursery two years later, I was a pro. I learned the ins and outs of what I had to do, and when. My kid was going to have the best teacher, after all, there were scissor skills, finger painting techniques and playground monkey bars Judy Joszef to master.

Everyone has first day school stories, some more eventful than others. Take my husband, Jerry. After eight years at Yeshiva Rambam, his mom decided it was time for a fresh start. At Rambam, he was sent home so many times, his mom decided to help serve lunch, since she was there to pick him up anyway. When he entered BTA (Brooklyn Torah Academy, Yeshiva University High School for Boys), as a freshman, she wanted him to start out on the right foot. So there he was staring at the outfit she wanted

7 THE JEWISH STAR September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772

Who’s in the kitchen

every now and then. Although she manages to maintain a high index in college, she still gets lazy every now and then. Take last week, when she texted me the following: ”Jerry is going to love my philosophy class and he’s going to have a blast writing my paper on Aristotle and Plato.” Good thing she was kidding, as Jerry is not as much a pushover as am I. You were kidding, weren’t you, Jord?

Whether you have kids starting pre K, elementary school, high school, college or grad school, here’s an easy, filling recipe that is sure to put a smile on their faces...until, of course, they have to start their homework.

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Contemporary reflections on Mesechet Berachot from Rabbi Levi Cooper In a recent essay, scholar Dr. Israel Drazin made the following observation: “Many rabbis write books based on Torah verses, which they use as a backdrop for their ideas about contemporary society and the application of what they consider moral principles to various modern problems.”

In a recently published work on the first five chapters of Mesechet Berachot, Rabbi Dr. Levi Cooper of Zur Hadassa and famed Talmud columnist of The Jerusalem Post, authored such a book entitled, “Relics For The Present” [Maggid / Pardes 2012] wherein he applies Dr. Drazin’s observation to the deeper meaning of the Gemara’s text.

With Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur soon approaching, the citation of a few timely observations by Rabbi Cooper from this most elegant work would be most appropriate.

In an essay titled Alan Jay Gerber “Audible Prayer” based upon Berachot 15, Rabbi Cooper notes how the rabbis looked down upon the oral recitation of prayer in a loud and audible manner.

However, he notes the following qualification: “Praying aloud on the High Holy Days is also treated as a different category. Since there are some people who make extra effort to attend services on Rosh Hashanah and

Yom Kippur, in consideration of them, we allow audible prayer in order to facilitate their participation. Also, prayers on these significant days are often of a different caliber, and audible praying may facilitate greater concentration and focus.”

Rabbi Cooper, citing the issue of the great significance of giving blessings as discussed in Berachot 7a, tells us the following story to highlight the importance of wishing one and all best wishes for the upcoming new year.

“This brings us to the story of a disciple who traveled to spend the holy day of Yom Kippur with the famed Hasidic master, Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchak Horowitz [17341815], better known as the Choseh of Lublin. The Choseh was renowned for being able to look at a person’s face and see deep into his or her heart.

“When the disciple reached the city of his master, he went straight to the Choseh’s beit midrash. The Choseh took one look at him and ordered him to return to his family.

Confused and crestfallen, the disciple turned around and began the journey home.”

“That night he lodged at a small inn.

While he sat in a corner drowning his sorrows in a glass of tea, the door swung open and in trooped a group of his friends making their way to Lublin for Yom Kippur. When they spied their friend sitting gloomily in a

corner, they excitedly called him over and exclaimed: ‘So you too are going to Lublin!’

“With a long face, the unhappy disciple replied: ‘No, I will not be joining you. The Choseh instructed me to return home.’

“Trying to cheer him up, they replied: ‘No need to be sad. Let’s drink lechayim, to life!’

“They filled their glasses and blessed their downcast friend: ’May you merit to live a long life! Lechayim! ’” “Glasses were quickly refilled. ‘May you have much joy from your children!

Lechayim! ’” “Another round was called for. ‘May you merit to spend other festivals in the presence of our master! Lechayim! ’” “One by one, they drank lechayim, and each friend blessed the dejected disciple.”

Rabbi Cooper details how the disciple erroneously found his way back to Lublin for Yom Kippur where, during the long services, he covered himself in a talis so as to hide from the sight of the Choseh in the back of the shul.

Rabbi Cooper continues this story to its now inevitable conclusion: “That evening, the Choseh entered the packed beit midrash. Instead of making his way to his usual seat, the master made a bee-line for the disciple tucked away in the

corner and greeted him: ‘What a pleasure to have you with us for this holy day! May you be sealed in the Book of Life.’”

“As the service commenced, the disciple stood there bewildered. Following the service, the befuddled disciple approached the Choseh seeking an explanation. With a kind smile, the Choseh explained: ‘When you first arrived, I realized that you were destined not to live out the year.

I, therefore, told you to return home so that you would spend your final days with your family. When your simple friends heaped earnest blessings on you, the heavenly decree was reversed. Naturally, I was overjoyed to see you.’”

A BLESSED LESSON TO BE LEARNED At this time of year when we all greet each other with blessings and best wishes, we should ever be mindful of this saga, for as Rabbi Cooper teaches us from the following lesson: “Blessings may come from unusual quarters. Regardless of the stature of the one offering the blessing, we should accept any blessing proffered with an open heart. For we cannot know which blessings will truly bring us good fortune.”

Hopefully, in the near future, volume two of this series will appear with more cherished “vortlachen,” short divrei Torah from Rabbi Cooper’s teachings based upon both the Torah and Talmud, as inspired by both and by the experiences of our people down through the ages.

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THE JEWISH STAR September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772

The Kosher Bookworm

September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772 THE JEWISH STAR

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Sept 8 PRE-SELICHOT PROGRAM Lido Beach Synagogue Oscar Nominated Israeli Film entitled: “FOOTNOTE” at 10:00 p.m. Discussion will follow Refreshments will be served Selichot Service will follow at midnight Conducted by Cantor Yaakov Roston Lido Beach Synagogue is located at Lido Boulevard and Fairway Road

ON THE

Calendar Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com.

Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

Sept 8 PRE-SELICHOT PROGRAM

The Orthodox Union Department of Community Engagement and the Life section on the OU website, www.ou.org, will present “Navigate the Back to School Daze” -- a weeklong series of webcasts for a national audience by leading Orthodox mental health and rabbinic professionals focusing on how to transition from summer vacation back to the school year. The presentations, during which speakers will also be available for live interaction, will take place at 7:00 p.m. EDT from Monday, September 10 through Thursday, September 13.

The webcasts, coordinated by Hannah Farkas, OU Community Engagement Program Associate, are a component of the OU Community Engagement on-going “Positive Jewish Parenting” programs. Registration is found on the OU Community Engagement webpage, www.oucommunity.org. The webcasts will be featured, and later archived, on the same page.

September 16-18, 2012 Rosh Hashanah

Congregation Beth Sholom, 10:30 p.m.

“G-d on Trial” An extraordinary film of Jewish prisoners in Auschwitz who put G-d on trial in absentia followed by a discussion with Dr. David Pelcovitz “The Modern Jew: Facing Our Spiritual Challenges” Gwendolyn & Joseph Straus Chair in Jewish Education at Yeshiva University’s Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education. Dr. Pelcovitz also teaches pastoral psychology at RIETS YU & serves as special assistant to the President of YU. Sponsored by Dr. Sherry & Joel Wiener in memory of her brother Neil Steuer k”z & his father Paul Wiener k”z Followed by SELICHOT WITH CHAZAN JOEL KAPLAN - 12:00AM Congregation Beth Sholom is located at 390 Broadway in Lawrence.

Sept 10 – Sept 13

also including kugels and muffins this year !! The bake sale is on Thursday, September 13th, from 1:00pm - 7:00 pm, and Friday September 14th, from 9:00am to 1:00pm at the home of Nicole Spivak, 801 Keene Lane in Woodsburgh! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE for your help and support!!!!!!!

Come to Chabad and pick up your Holiday Guide. All are welcome regardless of background or affiliation. There will be a Youth Service & program for all children at the Chabad Center, 74 Maple Avenue, Cedarhurst.

Place: Services will be held at HAFTR High School, 635 Central Avenue, Cedarhurst Fee: Suggested donation of $120.00 per adult & $50 per child joining the youth services & program (lunch & snack included) for the High Holidays. No one will be turned away due to lack of funds.

Time: For a complete schedule and times of services please refer to the Holiday Guide Info:516-295-2478 or www.chabad5towns.com/ seats Photo by Yigal Saperstein

Left to right- Isaiah Coplon, Yaakov Hawk, Yigal Saperstein, Yitzy Smith, Benjamin Watman, Zion Giahn participated in the Friendship Circle Bike for Friendship ride from New York City to Washington.

According to Rabbi Judah Isaacs, OU Director of Community Engagement, “Helping children and parents to transition from the summer months of camp and vacation into the routine of school is always difficult. The OU is providing a unique opportunity for parents and caregivers anywhere around the country to learn tips from experts in an interactive online forum. We encourage parents to join us for an hour each night to strengthen their parenting skills and to feel more confident during the transitional period.”

Topics of discussion throughout the week will include: · Monday, September 10: “Positive Limit Setting With Our Children” Rachel Pill, L.C.S.W. · Tuesday, September 11: “Improve Your Children’s Self-Esteem and Motivate Them to Learn” Adina Soclof, MS, CCC-SLP · Wednesday, September 12 “Communicating With Your Child’s School – How to Talk So They Will Listen”

Alex Bailey, Ph.D. · Thursday, September 13 “We’ve Got Ruach, Yes We Do! Transitioning the Spirituality of Summer Experiences into the Home” Rabbi Yaakov Glasser, Regional Director of New Jersey NCSY Further information can be found on the OU Community Engagement website, or contact Hannah Farkas at hannahf@ou.org or call 212.613.8351.

September 13 -14 Bake Sale EMUNAH’s Annual Rosh Hashanah Bake Sale & Gift Boutique! We are hoping we can count on you, as an amazing baker, friend, and supporter of EMUNAH, to bake 2 items for this event. We are

Sept 14– Oct. 12 The Chabad Center for Jewish Life of Merrick/ Bellmore/Wantagh presents Tots ‘N Challah: An exciting Mommy & me program for children ages 0-3 !

Join with your child and other moms/dads in celebrating Shabbat through Challah baking, story, song and art activities! · Knead the dough, Braid the Challah, Judaic Craft, Music and Song Fridays 10:30-11:30 A.M. Complimentary First Class! Cost is $25 for 5 week session or $8.00 per class. Includes snack and craft supplies.

Rabbi Metzger and Halloran meet in Queens Continued from page 6 try.” He noted the importance of Israel as an ally, with Israel’s intelligence working with the NYPD to prevent 17 attacks by Islamic extremists since 9/11. “The U.S. has an obligation to our allies,” he stated. He predicted that the Obama campaign will “pull Pollard out of the hat” around October 15th.

Halloran also said that he backs the right of “metzitza bapeh” because regulating it is a “slippery slope that could lead to banning.” He finds it “terrifying, regulating religious practices” and suggested that the “Department of Health give guidelines.” Rabbi Metzger noted that, for thirty years, mohelim in Israel have had to be certified to practice

by a panel of rabbis, mohelim and doctors and have to be trained in first aid and health regarding circumcision. He pointed out that he was invited to Germany to discuss the issue in the wake of one city’s attempt to prohibit circumcision there.

Rabbi Metzger stressed the importance of Jerusalem to Israel and Judaism. “All over the Jewish world we pray facing Jerusalem.

The Moslems turn their backs to Jerusalem and face Mecca. Take your holy place and leave us one holy city. Jerusalem is the capital city for Israel forever.”

Metzger recounted his service in the IDF as a tank commander during the confusion

of the Yom Kippur War of 1973. Years later, he said that Russian generals who helped the Syrians in 1973 visited Metzger’s synagogue and asked how the Israelis got the Arabs’ battle plans, thwarting their every move.

Metzger then confirmed with Halloran that West Point doesn’t teach Israeli military battles. Halloran concurred and Metzger added, “Because they are Divine.”

Halloran mentioned the persecution of Christians in the Middle East, and Metzger confirmed that their numbers are decreasing everywhere but Israel, where they are increasing. Metzger also voiced concern for the United States’ turning its back on Mubarak,

that it “sends a bad message to the Moslems.”

When asked about the eviction of 300 Jews from Migron, and the pending destruction of their mikveh and synagogue, he said, “I don’t know anything about it” and that the synagogue can be moved so it won’t be destroyed and that he ”can’t do anything, the High Court decided and it’s a democracy.”

Metzger came to the U.S. to speak at the 14th annual Siyum HaShas of the Rabbinical Alliance of America, the Igud Horabbonim, September 5th in the evening at The Sephardic Home in Brooklyn.

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The art of joyous living Nechama Leibowitz was fond of teaching her students to find the “milah mancha” – a shoresh (root noun or verb), word or phrase that appears numerous times in a given section.

In Parshat Ki Tavo, a surprising “milah mancha” is the root of the word “simcha,” meaning joy. While the word only appears in three contexts, each instance brings its own set of immeasurable valuable lessons.

The first reference to joy comes in the context of bringing the first fruits. After placing the basket on the floor of the Mishkan, having said one’s declaration of gratitude, the Torah says, “You will rejoice in all the bounty Rabbi Avi Billet that G-d has given you, along with the Levite and the ‘ger’ who lives amongst you.” (26:11) The joy here comes from a recognition that the gifts we enjoy come from G-d.

The second mention of joy alerts the people of a time, in the hopefully not-too-distant future, when they will gather at Mount Eyval after having crossed into the land of Canaan.

Moshe instructs them as to how they will

construct a mizbeach (an altar) out of uncut stones and bring sacrifices upon it. They will also take very large stones, coat them with limestone and write the words of the Torah upon them - which they will read, and which will serve as a reminder to them of their relationship with G-d. In the midst of all the festivities, “You will bring peace offerings there and you will rejoice before your G-d.” (27:7) The joy will come from a feeling of closeness to G-d, because we are in the land He promised, and we are seeing the circle of the Redemption from Egypt coming to a close.

The third time we see the word “simcha” is in the Tokhacha (Rebuke), when the people are told that all the curses will come upon you “because you did not serve the L-rd your G-d with joy and a merry heart on account of having plenty of everything.”

(28:47) This notion would seem to be a reference to the concern voiced in Devarim 8:1420, when Moshe warns of what will happen when things are going well for you and “your heart becomes elevated, and you forget G-d who took you out of Egypt… [to the point that] you’ll say in your heart, ‘It was my own strength and fortitude that got me here.’”

It seems the Torah is suggesting that, for some people, money can buy happiness. But the idea that the money causes people to forget G-d, and consequently not to serve G-d with joy, is one of the ingredients that will bring about the curses of the Rebuke.

Living life with joy, and rejoicing with G-d, seems to be an easy antidote to life’s ills and pitfalls. For some people, living life with joy is much easier said than done. There are everyday pressures from bosses, children, spouses. There are bills to pay. There is the ever-present concern of “Am I doing right in how I am raising my children?” It’s hard to live in the moment and to simply be happy.

Those who follow the teaching of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov that “it is a great mitzvah to be happy,” have a built-in reminder that, as much as everything weighs on the shoulders, there is a higher calling. We can look at all the blessings we have and be reminded that life is good.

I like to think the Tokhacha has been visited upon the Jewish people enough times. I like to believe that the warnings are a remnant of a time that was, and that they need not happen again. Less than 70 years after the Holocaust, however, there are still survivors and certainly many children of survivors who know that the Tokhacha was fulfilled yet again during that period of very recent history. And I am certainly not suggesting that I understand the ways of G-d as to why it had to happen. Giving reasons for the Holocaust is at the least insulting to all its victims and smacks of pure ignorance.

But the Torah explains why the curses of the Tokhacha would be visited upon the Jewish people, and it tacks on the message of not

To be a mentch I remember the first Mishnah I ever learned, and it wasn’t in a classroom. (The Mishnah is the basic text of the oral tradition, as codified and edited by rabbi Yehuda Ha’Nasi circa 200 C.E.) The synagogue we attended when I was five years old had a strict decorum, and I recall the challenges this presented to my parents; vague images of my red-faced and embarrassed faFROM THE HEART ther carrying me out OF JERUSALEM of synagogue kicking and screaming come to mind.

I had succeeded in escaping from the seat next to my father and ran up to the front of the synagogue. Rabbi Dr. Simon Greenberg, who was an eminent Torah Scholar (Talmid Chacham), had an honored place in the front row, and I can still reRabbi Binny member his piercing Freedman eyes and warm smile.

He had the largest hands I had ever seen, and somehow, he succeeded in getting hold of me (I was not easy to catch) and hoisting me up to sit on his lap.

I can still remember the sefer (book) he was holding, and his query as to whether I knew what it was. And I even remember the text of the Mishnah, which he proceeded to teach me in its entirety. Most people, catching hold of a rambunctious five-year-old shouting and yelling in synagogue, usually head for either their parents or the door. But he chose instead to teach me the entire first Mishnah of the Talmud in its entirety, right there on his knees.

Most of all, I still remember how important I felt as a five year old, to be sitting on this great rabbi’s lap, all the way in the front of the synagogue with, so it seemed to me, nothing more important to him than our conversation. Looking back, those few moments must have had a strong impact on me, as I still remember not only the text he taught me, but the entire conversation as well.

‘Mentsch’ is a hard word to translate. It refers not to a person’s wisdom, or brilliance, but to the pure human decency such wisdom is meant to produce. It would be safe to say that my path to teaching began not from some brilliant insight full of wisdom but rather from a simple moment filled with a Torah scholar’s willingness to spend time on a text even with a noisy five year old boy.

We are in the midst of preparing for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, known also as the Yamim Noraim, the ‘Days of Awe.’ On Yom Kippur we will beat our breast and cry out our regrets over the missed opportunities and mistakes of the last year. Most people spend time considering the actions we regret, but very little focus on whether our character needs refining, as well. What of the less measurable challenge of being, generally, a fine human being? Is there a mitzvah to be a mentsch?

At the beginning of this week’s portion, Ki Tavoh, we read: “Ye’kimchah’ Hashem Lo’ le’am kadosh, … ki’ tishmor et mitzvoth Hashem Elokechah’ ve’halachta’ be’Deracahav.” (Devarim 28:9) “Hashem will raise you to Him as a holy nation … when (because) you will fulfill the mitzvoth of Hashem your G-d, and walk in His ways.” (28:9) Interestingly, all the blessings we hope to receive as a people seem to be based on this clause “Ve’Halachta’ Be’Deracahav” (“and

walk in His ways”). But what does this mean?

Maimonides lists this particular phrase as a separate mitzvah, in his Sefer HaMitzvoth (Book of Mitzvoth, Positive Commandment 8), implying that there is a very specific mitzvah we are expected to fulfill. But what is this mitzvah on which, it seems, everything depends?

Maimonides actually spells this out in his Hilchot Deot, the laws of character development. In his magnum opus, the Mishneh Torah, where the Rambam delineates and organizes the entirety of Jewish law (halacha), the second set of laws, right at the beginning of the first of his fourteen books, concern the Jewish recipe for becoming a mentsch.

Second only to the laws of the foundations of Torah (Hilchot Yesodei HaTorah, the basic principles of faith in Judaism), Maimonides believed Judaism begins and ends with the challenge of becoming a mentsch.

And the basis for his insistence that adherence to a Torah lifestyle begins with the obligation to become a good person is our verse: of “Ve’Halachta’ Be’Deracahav”. (Deot 1:5).

In other words, it is not just commendable when a person becomes a mentsch; it is an obligation, without which we are not fulfilling one of the basic ingredients of Judaism.

A closer look at Maimonides’ Hilchot Deot reveals that a person who is too angry or too stingy, too greedy or too lazy, is transgressing (or at least not fulfilling) one of Judaism’s basic mitzvoth. In fact, the context in which this mitzvah appears here in the Torah, suggests that it is a far more important mitzvah to develop one’s character than putting on tefillin, or even refraining from eating pork!

All the Torah a person may ever teach is not as worthwhile as the way in which he or she teaches it.

Indeed, the Rambam points out, that not only are we obligated to refine our character,

serving G-d with joy.

We need to find joy in everything we do.

We need to rise above the mundane and the day-to-day concerns that pull us down and prevent us from feeling joy.

Bringing the first fruit was a reminder that, despite everything that might be difficult, there is bounty in your life. Tap into it, know where it comes from (hint: G-d), appreciate it, and rejoice with it.

The celebration at Mt. Eyval, which is recounted in Yehoshua Chapter 8, was a reminder that G-d fulfills His promises – even though the fulfillment of the promises sometimes comes to a different generation. There is merit to serving G-d, to fostering the manG-d relationship and rejoicing in the gift of being from G-d’s People.

We build the relationship through our time commitments, our monetary commitments, and through our life choices. We pray, we learn, we act, we serve, we fulfill commandments, and many are committed to growing in observance, in learning, and in each person’s closer feelings for G-d.

If we smile more and rejoice more in our service and dedication to G-d, who knows what can happen? Maybe the Messiah will come. And maybe we’ll become a light unto others as we are “motzim chen b’einei Elokim v’adam” – finding favor in the eyes of G-d and Mankind.

but also indeed we have to do Teshuvah (repentance) for our lacking in these areas. The Teshuvah process we seek to achieve in the days leading up to Rosh Hashanah is not just about our mistaken actions, but our incomplete character traits as well! (Hilchot Teshuvah or Laws of Repentance 7:3) We have to repent, says the Rambam, for every moment of anger, jealousy, hatred, greed, arrogance and pride as well!

In fact, this is the true meaning of the verse in Isaiah read on the afternoon of community fast days: “Ya’azov rasha darko, ve’ish aven machshevotav….”

“Let the wicked leave his path, and the man of iniquity his thoughts….”

(Yishayahu 55:7) Preparations for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur begin with our determination to make ourselves into better human beings.

Rav Kook (in his Arpelei Tohar) suggests that all of a person’s problems and all the baggage we carry in life, stem from one’s relationship with Hashem. If my relationship with and perception of G-d is skewered, then I will be skewered as well. That is how a human being who believes in G-d can walk into a pizzeria or café on a beautiful afternoon strapped with explosives, and murder innocent women and children in the name of that same G-d.

If my G-d is an angry G-d, then on a certain level, I will be an angry person, and if my G-d is only a G-d of judgment, then I will be a person filled with judgment. But even more, if I cannot see the piece of G-d inside every human being, beginning with myself, then I have an incomplete and skewered perception of G-d. If I can kill, whether by bomb or by character assassination, another human being, then it must be because I do not fully see the image of Hashem inside them.

And that is the source of all the pain, and all the curses, as well as the vehicle to achieving all the blessings, we so long for in this world.

Shabbat Shalom, from Jerusalem, Binny Freedman

THE JEWISH STAR September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772

Parshat Ki Tavo

September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772 THE JEWISH STAR

14

A lengthening of days and the gift of a long life T

here are two mitzvoth for which we know the reward; the reward of “long life” is promised for shiluach ha’kan (sending a mother bird from her nest before collecting her eggs) and kibud av va’em (honoring one’s father and mother). The fact that these two mitzvoth share the same reward, has stirred much controversy in Jewish history, some because shiluach ha’kan seems easy but kibud av va’em is much more difficult, but much of the controversy is because of the Talmudic story of Acher—Elisha Ben Abuya. While out for a walk, the Talmud recounts, Acher observed a father send his son up a ladder to shoo away a mother bird, and as Acher walked away, the son fell from the ladder and died. Convinced that this event was in direct contradiction with the Torah’s promise of “long life” for the two mitzvoth the son was performing, Acher turned to heresy Dr. Jeffrey Ratz and had his name forever changed in Talmudic lore. Of course, this is a simplistic explanation for Acher’s heresy; many have puzzled over his personality for the past two thousand years. In our reality, though, there are many experiences that can shake a person’s faith; and while mitzvoth are supposed to bring us closer to Hashem, sometimes the challenges they present become springboards for doubt, discouragement, and dissent. One such mitzvah that could turn someone away is the mitzvah of kibud av va’em—especially as one’s parents’

Hebrew only please!

The carrot, the egg, and the coffee: responding to life’s challenges Seeing that his daughter was having difficulties dealing with life’s challenges, her father boiled a carrot, an egg, and coffee. To which of these are you similar, he asked: to the carrot, which appears hard on the outside, but softens and crumbles in the boiling water; to the egg, which seemed delicate and full of liquids, but which turned hard despite its outward similarity to its original appearance; or to the coffee, which turned the same boiling water

By Rabbi Noam into a valuable prodHimelstein uct, which smells and tastes so amazing? How do you deal with challenges? Indeed, to which of these are we similar....

Rabbi Noam Himelstein studied in Yeshivat Har Etzion and served in the Tanks Corps of the IDF. He has taught in yeshiva high schools, post-high school women’s seminaries, and headed the Torah MiTzion Kollel in Melbourne, Australia. He currently teaches at Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem, and lives with his wife and six children in Neve Daniel, Gush Etzion.

behaviors become harder and harder to tolerate, let alone honor.

This is an issue of growing concern, not just for our community, but for our generation the world over. As people live longer and the costs of healthcare rise, more and more members of the Baby Boomer generation (born 1945-1961) are forced to care for their aging parents as they reach ages of 85, 95, and even 105 and beyond. The commandment to honor one’s parents is relatively easy when one’s parents are in their prime of health—both mentally and physically. A child may idolize his parents and see their actions as always good and always worthy of honor. But what happens when a parent’s mind loses its sharpness—due to age, dementia, or Alzheimer’s? What happens when a once-proud parent’s body deteriorates to the point where a daughter has to change her mother’s adult diapers? When a parent’s mind and body cease to do him honor, how does a child’s duty change? These questions terrify many of my compatriots who are living with, planning for, and caring for aging parents. Sometimes Jewish teachings provide guidance; other times, they do not. In fact, when I approached a trusted rabbi for guidance on the issue of providing dignified care for my aging father, I was told “lu’lei he’manti…” (Who can I trust in…); basically he was saying not to rely on other people to do what was clearly my job.

There is actually an interesting reinterpretation of the phrase “long life” as it is promised in the Torah as the reward for kibud av va’em. The phrase can be read, instead, as “lengthened days.” Now, the Torah doesn’t mince words—“lengthened days” does not mean the same thing as “long life.” Length-

ened days may refer to the 24-hour-a-day mental marathon one runs as she thinks about all her ailing parent’s needs. Or the late-night conversations with an aging father about living in his home versus moving to a nursing home facility. Of course, on a more positive side, lengthened days could also refer to days becoming more meaningful; this could mean one’s days become filled with valuable lessons and experiences—such as uncovering untold stories from a parent’s early life. This is one of the issues that boggle the minds of even the most learned Torah scholars: the nuances of interpretation for Lashon HaKodesh (ancient Torah Hebrew) are sources of debate and divergence. Acher’s heresy in the Talmud may have stemmed from his inability to reconcile conflicting philosophies—such as Torah Judaism and ancient Hellenist philosophy, for example.

But for us, the balance of honoring our aging parents while caring for their ailing bodies and minds, raises much contention.

I recall hearing a thought from a speaker—a menahel at a high school—about how a person’s purpose changes. We may know that our lives have purposes, but we never know just what those purposes are. The speaker was talking about a student with profound special needs whom he admitted to his high school, and when asked by other parents whether this student would lower the school’s rigor and ability to teach at a high level, this menahel responded that this student was not there for himself to grow; instead, his admittance’s purpose was to challenge his classmates to grow in their acts of kindness and tolerance. This is a striking idea, and a bit of a frustrating one. How can one say that the reason a person exists is to

teach others a lesson? Doesn’t each person have his or her own intrinsic value and his or her own distinct purpose? Well, Jewish teachings reveal that one may have both— a distinctive purpose from him or herself, as well as a message for others; certainly this has been the case for biblical prophets, so why not modern individuals, too? Maybe, as our parents age, their purposes become slightly altered, too. When we were children, our parents served one purpose; as we raised our children, they served a slightly different purpose; and now, as they age and our grown children watch us care for them, our parents’ purposes have shifted to the last stage—the educative stage where their lives become lessons for others.

Meriting a lengthening of days, for me, comes to mean filling my time with meaningful lessons, both for me and for my children.

Caring for my father and actualizing the mitzvah of kibud av va’em, even as it becomes harder and harder to do, fills my days and my evenings with teachable moments that I share with my family. My children sometimes joke about the lessons I teach them day-in and day-out, but how I show honor to my father and maintain his dignity at this late stage in his life is one way my actions speak louder than my words; it is one way that my commitment to Torah and mitzvoth becomes cemented in the minds of my children, so that when the cycle apexes and I need to be cared for in my old age and infirmity, my children will not be like Acher, who turned away, but will instead turn toward me and model for their own children the importance of perpetuating this mitzvah.

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$ 99 LH

5

2/$ 00

Fresh Pomegranates Juicy and Delicious

5

2/$ 00

Sweet Potatoes

Use your card and save on items on this page. We sell both kosher and non-kosher foods.

Some items not available in some stores. While supplies last. Prices good Aug. 31-Sept. 27, 2012.

2/$ 00 Acme Smoked Salmon

Manischewitz Tam Tam Crackers Select Varieties, 9.6 oz. box

4

5/$ 00

Mrs. Adler’s Gefilte Fish Assorted Varieties, 24 oz. jar

LH

1

2/$ 00

2/$ 00

2

$ 99

LH

1 ct. pkg.

Assorted Varieties, 32 fl. oz.

2/$ 00

79¢

Select Varieties, 12 oz. bag

Yehuda Memorial Glass Candle

Tabatchnick Soups and Broths

Manhattan and Joyva Candies Select Varieties, 9 oz. pkg.

2/$ 00

Manischewitz Noodles

12 oz. pkg.

6

2/$ 00

99¢

SI

9

$ 99

Empire Kosher Frozen Roaster

1

LH

$ 99 SI

September 7, 2012 • 20 ELUL 5772 THE JEWISH STAR

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