September 30, 2011

A poem for Yom Kippur Page 3 Glassware designer raises awareness Page 7 Review of Midtown’s Coffee Bean Page 10 The Hineni moment of this holiday Page 14

THE JEWISH

STAR

VOL 10, NO 38 ■ SEPTEMBER 28, 2011 / 29 ELUL, 5771

Charity watchdog downgrades leading nonprofits

By Sergey Kadinsky The recession is not the only thing hurting Orthodox Jewish nonprofits. A lack of disclosure on their finances has resulted in a downgrade of ratings from a leading watchdog group.

Charity Navigator, an independent agency that examines some 5,500 charities nationwide, announced more comprehensive rating criteria, which resulted in downgrading to three stars for Yeshiva University. Looking at the new score, Mayer Fertig, the senior director for media relations at YU, said that while his university is not alone in losing a star this year. Princeton and Columbia were assigned only two stars this year.

“To see thousands of nonprofits, including a number of other major research universities, it seems clear that this is about change at Charity Navigator rather than anything specific about our enterprise,” Fertig said.

While the financial ratings for the universities held up near the top, it was the accountability and transparency category that resulted in the overall reduction in ratings.

“Previously, our ratings were entirely based on financial performance, but our new ratings also factor in accountability and transparency,” said Charity Navigator Vice President Sandra Minuitti.

The hardest hit by the change is Agudath Israel of America. Commonly known as Agudah, the national umbrella body represents synagogues, summer camps, and social service organizations, received only two stars this year. While receiving the top score in fi-

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At the United Nations

Netanyahu speaks — but is the world listening?

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu received a coool greeting at the United Nations General Assembly last week, but he has much to say. Here are some key points of his speech.

On the existence of other countries: Israel has extended its hand in peace from the moment it was established 63 years ago. On behalf of Israel and the Jewish people, I extend that hand again today. I extend it to the people of Egypt and Jordan, with renewed friendship for neighbors with whom we have made peace. I extend it to the people of Turkey, with respect and good will. I extend it to the people of Libya and Tunisia, with admiration for those trying to build a democratic future. I extend it to the other peoples of North Africa and the Arabian Peninsula, with whom we want to forge a new beginning. I extend it to the people of Syria, Lebanon and Iran, with awe at the courage of those fighting brutal repression.

But most especially, I extend my hand to the Palestinian people, with whom we seek a just and lasting peace.

He said to me, you’ll be serving in a house of many lies. And then he said, remember that even in the darkest place, the light of a single candle can be seen far and wide.

Mentioning the enemy by name: That malignancy is militant Islam. It cloaks itself in the mantle of a great faith, yet it murders Jews, Christians and Muslims alike with unforgiving impartiality. On September 11th it killed thousands of Americans, and it left the twin towers in smoldering ruins. Last night I laid a wreath

on the 9/11 memorial. It was deeply moving. But as I was going there, one thing echoed in my mind: the outrageous words of the president of Iran on this podium yesterday. He implied that 9/11 was an American conspiracy. Some of you left this hall. All of you should have.

On Ahmadinejad: Can you imagine that man who ranted here yesterday — can you imagine him armed with nuclear weapContinued on page 3

Meeting the Lubavitcher Rebbe: In 1984 when I was appointed Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations, I visited the great rabbi of Lubavich.

He said to me — and ladies and gentlemen, I don’t want any of you to be offended because from personal experience of serving here, I know there are many honorable men and women, many capable and decent people serving their nations here…

Continued on page 5

Rosh Hashana candlelighting: 6:24 p.m. Shabbat candlelighting 6:21 p.m. Shabbat ends: 7:18 p.m. 72 minute zman 7:50 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Haazinu Shabbat Shuvah

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Shoah survivor speaks on hiding experience

By Ann E. Friedman When Ethel Bauer Katz, a Holocaust survivor and author of “Our Tomorrows Never Came,” told audience members at Nassau Community College that she was the only one to survive out of her family of seven, the room fell silent.

English professor Sally Ann Drucker invited Katz to speak before her class. “It’s like the saying, ‘if we don’t know history, than we’re doomed to repeat it,’’ she said. “It’s important for people to see what can happen if we don’t vote, don’t protest when people’s civil liberties are abridged and when we take democracy for granted.”

Katz began her story on July 5, 1941, and said when she was just 17-years old; the Germans marched into her hometown of Buchach, Poland. “The first three days, 100 Jews were killed and everything Jewish was destroyed including synagogues and Hebrew schools,” she said. “The Germans took over and demanded that the Jewish community form a committee that would take orders from the Nazis.”

Six weeks later, an order came in for men, ages 18 to 50, to report to the police station before 6 p.m. or they would be shot. Her twin brother ran home, grabbed something to eat, and told his family he would see them later that evening, but the family never saw him again. The Germans first murdered the professionals; lawyers, doctors and teachers.

“They figured the professionals would be the potential leaders of resistance so they got rid of them first,” she said. “The Germans were very smart.”

In the fall of 1943, Katz, her twin younger brothers, sister and father fled, hiding from place to place until they ended up back at their farm where every building but their house had been torn down. “We hoped we would survive,” she said.

On March 8, German soldiers surrounded their home and Katz and her twin brothers escaped through a window. “We started running but the snow was so deep so we were only able to run a few yards,” she said. “Then I felt a knock on the back of my head and fell unconscious in the snow. When I woke up, I saw black boots standing over me so I closed my eyes, played dead and prayed to G-d for a miracle. When I looked again, the black boots had disappeared.”

The soldiers had caught up with her twin brothers and returned to the house fetch her father and sister. “They took them into a field where they were murdered,” she said. “Two weeks later, the Russians liberated the area … two weeks too late.”

Lydia Orabona of Westbury thought it was amazing how Katz went through something so horrible and was able to share her story.

“While we lost a lot of people on September 11, it’s different from the Holocaust because there are no survivors who can speak and tell you what they went through,” she said. “People need to understand that everyone has different values and beliefs and they don’t have to be yours.”

Drucker said this is the last generation to hear Holocaust survivor stories. “My students will know the facts and horrors of what happened,” she said, “They will be the ones carrying on the message from now on.”

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September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Highlights from Netanyahu’s speech at the UN Continued from page 1 ons? The international community must stop Iran before it’s too late. If Iran is not stopped, we will all face the specter of nuclear terrorism, and the Arab Spring could soon become an Iranian winter. That would be a tragedy. Millions of Arabs have taken to the streets to replace tyranny with liberty, and no one would benefit more than Israel if those committed to freedom and peace would prevail.

On land for peace: These people say to me constantly: Just make a sweeping offer, and everything will work out. You know, there’s only one problem with that theory. We’ve tried it and it hasn’t worked. In 2000 Israel made a sweeping peace offer that met virtually all of the Palestinian demands. Arafat rejected it. The Palestinians then launched a terror attack that claimed a thousand Israeli lives.

But Israel did more than just make sweeping offers. We actually left territory. We withdrew from Lebanon in 2000 and from every square inch of Gaza in 2005. That didn’t calm the Islamic storm, the militant Islamic storm that threatens us. It only brought the storm closer and make it stronger.

Hezbollah and Hamas fired thousands of rockets against our cities from the very territories we vacated. See, when Israel left Lebanon and Gaza, the moderates didn’t defeat the radicals, the moderates were devoured by the radicals. And I regret to say that international troops like UNIFIL in Lebanon and UBAM (ph) in Gaza didn’t stop the radicals from attacking Israel.

On defense:

“Judenrein” Palestine:

How do you protect such a tiny country, surrounded by people sworn to its destruction and armed to the teeth by Iran? Obviously you can’t defend it from within that narrow space alone. Israel needs greater strategic depth, and that’s exactly why Security Council Resolution 242 didn’t require Israel to leave all the territories it captured in the Six-Day War. It talked about withdrawal from territories, to secure and defensible boundaries. And to defend itself, Israel must therefore maintain a long-term Israeli military presence in critical strategic areas in the West Bank.

The Jewish state of Israel will always protect the rights of all its minorities, including the more than 1 million Arab citizens of Israel. I wish I could say the same thing about a future Palestinian state, for as Palestinian officials made clear the other day — in fact, I think they made it right here in New York — they said the Palestinian state won’t allow any Jews in it. They’ll be Jew-free — Judenrein. That’s ethnic cleansing. There are laws today in Ramallah that make the selling of land to Jews punishable by death. That’s racism. And you know which laws this evokes.

On other countries’ defense: I explained this to President Abbas. He answered that if a Palestinian state was to be a sovereign country, it could never accept such arrangements. Why not? America has had troops in Japan, Germany and South Korea for more than a half a century. Britain has had an airspace in Cyprus or rather an air base in Cyprus. France has forces in three independent African nations. None of these states claim that they’re not sovereign countries.

Remember Gilad Shalit: And there’s one more thing. Hamas has been violating international law by holding our soldier Gilad Shalit captive for five years.

They haven’t given even one Red Cross visit. He’s held in a dungeon, in darkness, against all international norms… If you want to pass a resolution about the Middle East today, that’s the resolution you should pass.

On the settlements: Our conflict has been raging for nearly half a century before there was a single Israeli settlement in the West Bank. So if what President Abbas is saying was true… I guess that the settlements he’s talking about are Tel Aviv, Haifa, Jaffa, Be’er Sheva. Maybe that’s what he meant the other day when he said that Israel has been occupying Palestinian land for 63 years. He didn’t say from 1967; he said from 1948.

On Jerusalem: I often hear them accuse Israel of Judaizing Jerusalem. That’s like accusing America of Americanizing Washington, or the British of Anglicizing London. You know why we’re called “Jews”? Because we come from Judea.

In my office in Jerusalem, there’s a — there’s an ancient seal. It’s a signet ring of a Jewish official from the time of the Bible.

The seal was found right next to the Western Wall, and it dates back 2,700 years, to the

time of King Hezekiah. Now, there’s a name of the Jewish official inscribed on the ring in Hebrew. His name was Netanyahu. That’s my last name. My first name, Benjamin, dates back a thousand years earlier to Benjamin — Binyamin — the son of Jacob, who was also known as Israel. Jacob and his 12 sons roamed these same hills of Judea and Samaria 4,000 years ago, and there’s been a continuous Jewish presence in the land ever since.

On his efforts towards peace: I’ve worked hard to advance that peace.

The day I came into office, I called for direct negotiations without preconditions. President Abbas didn’t respond. I outlined a vision of peace of two states for two peoples. He still didn’t respond. I removed hundreds of roadblocks and checkpoints, to ease freedom of movement in the Palestinian areas; this facilitated a fantastic growth in the Palestinian economy. But again — no response. I took the unprecedented step of freezing new buildings in the settlements for 10 months.

No prime minister did that before, ever. Once again — you applaud, but there was no response. No response.

On destiny: We are both the sons of Abraham. My people call him Avraham. Your people call him Ibrahim. We share the same patriarch.

We dwell in the same land. Our destinies are intertwined. Let us realize the vision of Isaiah — (speaks in Hebrew) — “The people who walk in darkness will see a great light.”

Let that light be the light of peace.

A poem for Yom Kippur

By Dr. David B. Chideckel

Pause for reflection Examination of deeds Thoughts of contrition Amend character of ways Pre-fast meal Consumed by requisite time Final ounces of water Before fast begins

Turmoil at events Aspirations not always requited Automatic behavior commonplace Obligations not always filled Kol Nidre prayer Potentially redeeming Sincerity of sentiment Contrition with ocmpehended meaning Final moments at Neilah Cantor still in a good voice

Eyes moistened with tears Focusing on written text Long blast of shofar Bringing minds to attention Blessing of a new moon Table set for post-fast celebration Cycle of life repetitions New players emerging on the scene Emphatic hands supportive Honey for a sweet new year

THE JEWISH STAR September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771

Photo courtesy stock.xchng

Haifa: a city within Israel often cited in the Palestinian narrative. Benjamin Netanyahu noted this fact in his speech before the UN last week.

September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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Opinion From the editor’s desk

The wedding announcement

T

his past month, I have been honored to attend three weddings that exemplified the solution to the so-called shidduch crisis, couples representing very different backgrounds, with love triumphing.

A story worthy of publicizing. I brought my dancing shoes, a shiny Borough Park suit, and practiced my handstands for the mitzvah of sameach chasan v’kallah. But there was one item that I left in my parked car, and for good reason. The facts below have been slightly altered to protect the parties’ identities.

The first wedding involves a 27-year-old lawyer from Long Island who has never been married before. They met through a Jewish match making web site and their intense Skype conversations turned this coast-tocoast relationship into an engagement. The groom was a single father of a six-year-old girl who shares the bride’s name. The bride did not let the fact that he was a divorced father deter her from seeing his positive attributes. Nor was she deterred by the superstition that a stepmother should not share the same name as the child. Behind the scenes, the bride’s best friend recited tehilim daily and made a donation to Kupat Ha’ir during the course of the relationship.

I’ve read plenty of miracle stories from Kupat Ha’ir’s brochures, but this was my first time seeing the story in the flesh.

The second wedding I attended was a 27-year-old groom and a 30-year-old bride.

He was not deterred by the fact that she was older. After all, some of our greatest sages, including the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, married older women, as did Amram, the father of Moses.

My third wedding involves a groom who is nearly 60 years old. His bride is a decade younger. He is divorced with a grown daughter. She has never married before.

After a lengthy courtship, they went under

the chuppah. Their marriage is certainly an inspiration to the older singles in the community. So why did I leave my notepad in my car?

Because last week, a young woman approached me about a published story from last year involving a Spanish convert marrying a yeshivish bochur in a beautiful synagogue. Their wedding was a mixing of cultures, and an inspiring story of selfdiscovery and romance. But not so fast. The woman is a divorcee, and whenever she is given a shidduch, she is Googled and questions about her past precede those about her present and her future.

Another woman approached me with a story about a Satmar chasid who married his modern Orthodox bride in a Chabadrun catering hall in Crown Heights. By the appearance of the story, Moshiach’s arrival would occur before the Sheva Brachot, based on how two very different communities came together for a wedding. But you guessed it, she is divorcee, and she wants to be known to her bashert as a teacher, sister, and supporter of good causes, who was once married before. She does not want to be known as “Yoeli’s ex.” In both cases, the stories were removed and these women felt that they had their lives back, in full control of their narrative.

And it is for this reason that we generally avoid publicizing inspirational wedding stories. We wish a beit ne’eman b’yisroel for all couples going under the chuppah, but we must be practical and mindful of all possible outcomes, including divorce. In these moments of joy, it is best for us to dance, sing, nosh, and let the couple celebrate among friends. In this age of Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, the world does not have to know.

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Bill Clinton laid the blame for the failure of peace negotiations on Netanyahu.

The failure of negotiations: Bill Clinton should know better!

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n an interview with Foreign Policy Magazine, Bill Clinton said the reluctance of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to accept the terms reached at Camp David in 2000, is a main reason for a lack of peace today.

“The two great tragedies in modern Middle Eastern politics, which make you wonder if G-d wants Middle East peace or not, were [former Prime Minister Yitzhak] Rabin’s assassination and [former Prime Minister Ariel] Sharon’s stroke.”

Bill Clinton should know that it was Yasser Arafat walking out of that meeting that caused the prospect of peace to collapse. In addition to his misguided blaming of Netanyahu, the former president is equally wrong about Sharon. The withdrawal from Gaza occurred five years after Clinton left the White House. If Sharon had not suffered a stroke, he would have immediately deployed the full force of the IDF to retaliate for the rockets shooting from Gaza.

Rabin was a pragmatic man who negotiated with a terrorist simply to prevent further bloodshed of innoPOLITICO cent Israelis, but he wasn’t willing to negotiate away IsTO GO rael’s security or its Jewish identity. Contrary to myths, Rabin was not the type to “sacrifice everything for the sake of peace.” Despite what Bill Clinton says, Yitzchak Rabin was the last Israeli PM who did not support the creation of a Palestinian state. Nine days before he died, Rabin laid out his vision for the future of Israel and the disputed territories, a speech before Knesset. Below are some highlights: No Palestinian State: “We view the permanent solution in the framework of State of Israel which will include most of the area of the Land of Israel as it was under the rule of the British Mandate, and alongside it a Palestinian entity which will be a home to most of the Jeff Dunetz Palestinian residents living in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. We would like this to be an entity which is less than a state, and which will independently run the lives of the Palestinians under its authority.”

No pre-67 borders: “The borders of the State of Israel, during the permanent solution, will be beyond the lines which existed before the Six Day War. We will not return to the June 1967 lines… The security border of the State of Israel will be located in the Jordan Valley, in the broadest meaning of that term.”

Settlements: “The establishment of blocs of settlements in Judea and Continued on page 5

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Clinton got it wrong Continued from page 4 Samaria like the one in Gush Katif… I want to remind you: we committed ourselves, that is, we came to an agreement, and committed ourselves before the Knesset, not to uproot a single settlement in the framework of the interim agreement, and not to hinder building for natural growth.”

United Jerusalem, which will include both Ma’ale Adumim and Givat Ze’ev -- as the capital of Israel, under Israeli sovereignty, while preserving the rights of the members of the other faiths, Christianity and Islam, to freedom of access and freedom of worship in their holy places.

The liberal peaceniks have taken upon themselves to recreate Rabin into something he was not. At the time of his death, Rabin had growing doubts about the intentions of Yasser Arafat, who was already sabotaging the Oslo process, ordering terrorist attacks before, during and after the time of Rabin’s assassination.

Rabin’s daughter Dalia wrote in Seven Days Magazine in 2010 that her father was preparing to reverse policy: “Many people who were close to father told me that on the eve of the murder he considered stopping the Oslo process because of the terror that was running rampant in the streets and that Arafat wasn’t delivering the goods….After all he was someone for whom the security of the state was sacrosanct.”

NO NEED TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE!

Understanding that Rabin was not a blind peace maker like some of the Prime Ministers who followed him (Peres, Barak and Olmert) enhances his memory. The Oslo process that he began came to be roundly criticized as it helped Arafat consolidate his power, in preparation for the second intifada. But who can honestly know what would have happened if a crazed zealot didn’t strike him down 16 years ago. Oslo might have been over long before the intifada and Arafat might have been sent back to exile.

One thing is for sure; it is solely for political gain that people like Bill Clinton, who created the false image of Yitzchak Rabin, vilify Benyamin Netanyahu whose acceptance of a future Palestinian state is far more moderate than Rabin.

It’s very interesting the way history works, if Yitzhak Rabin was alive in 2000 that near deal that Yasser Arafat walked out on probably would have never happened. Yet Bill Clinton attacks Netanyahu even though his position is more conciliatory.

Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog “The Lid” (www.jeffdunetz.com).

Jeff lives on Long Island.

Continued from page 1 nances, Agudah failed in accountability, the stark omissions related to “readily accessible information,” such as the names of board members and its key staff. “It definitely impacts them because they do not have a website with information,” Minuitti said. Under the leadership of its rabbinic board, Agudah does not keep a website. “If that results in a lower rating for the organization as a charity, that’s unfortunate,” said Agudah spokesman Rabbi Avi Shafran. “The directive of our rabbinic leaders is more important to us than ratings.”

Among local philanthropists, Lawrence resident Lloyd Keilson, said that a personal connection is the leading reason behind his choice of charities. Keilson heads the Board of Governors at Yeshiva Darchei Torah, which also does not have a website. “In 99 percent of cases, the ratings do not have much meaning in the donor’s mind. It’s about the reputations and the relationship with the person giving,” Keilson said. Speaking on his own giving, Keilson has never used Charity Navigator.

Among the documents that Charity Navigator examines is Form 990, which tax-exempt organization file with the Internal Revenue Service each year. “The 990 tells you how much the officers of an organization receive in pay,” said Touro Law Center professor William Bird. “You ask for the form and find out where your money is going.”

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The lowest rated among local nonprofits was American Friends of Ateret Cohanim.

The organization, which raises funds for Yeshiva Ateret Cohanim and Jewish building projects in eastern Jerusalem, has seen its administrative expenses grow by over $29,000 over the past year. “Charity Navigator has always given us a good rating and this year comes as a surprise,” said executive director Shani Hikind. “This may be a reflection on the economy, but anybody who knows our organization can call us for information.” In previous years, Ateret Cohanim maintained a three-star rating by the agency.

Dave Weinberg, a marketing coordinator for nonprofits, said that ultimately, the ratings would not deter those who support its ideas. “This rating will not have an effect on the rank and file, but for corporations and larger donors, transparency matters,” said Weinberg. “If you’re a foundation manager, you would do your due diligence in researching a cause.”

Another concern highlighted by the ratings is donor privacy, where nonprofits and tax-exempt organizations explicitly inform the donors that their names would not be sold to other charities. “Some organizations make money from this, you have to check the fine print,” Bird said. Checking his own mailbox, Keilson expects he expects to receive letters from numerous organizations. “Our emails are inundated and it’s bothersome, but people give based on familiarity.”

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Charities watchdog changes ratings criteria

Opinion

On Rosh Hashana:

For All My Life The Talmud in Kiddushin (40b) has a fascinating passage describing the merits process, which is quite applicable to this time of year.

“Our Rabbis taught: A person should always regard himself as though he were half guilty and half meritorious: if he performs one mitzvah, happy is he for weighting himself down in the scale of merit. If he commits one transgression, woe to him for weighting himself down in the scale of guilt. It is said, ‘But one sinner destroys much good’ (Kohelet 9). In other words, on account of a single sin which he commits much good is lost to him.

“R. Eleazar son of R. Shimon said: Since the Rabbi Avi Billet world is judged by its majority, and an individual is also judged by his majority [of deeds, good or bad], if he performs one good deed, happy is he for turning the scale both for himself and for the whole world on the side of merit. But if he commits one transgression, woe to him for weighting himself and the whole world in the scale of guilt, for it is said: ‘but one sinner, etc.’ — on account of the single sin which this man commits he and the whole world lose much good.

“R. Shimon Bar Yohai said: Even if he is perfectly righteous all his life but rebels at the end, he destroys his former [good deeds], for it is said: The righteousness of the righteous shall not deliver him in the day of his transgression (Yechezkel 33). And even if one is completely wicked all his life but repents at the end, he is not reproached with his wickedness, for it is said, ‘And as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall thereby in the day that he turns from his wickedness’ (ibid).

“Yet let it be regarded as half transgressions and half meritorious deeds! — Said Resh Lakish: It means that he regretted his former deeds.”

The first part of the passage describes the scale we all envision – where our positive deeds and fulfilled mitzvot sit on one weight counter, being weighed against our bad deeds, violations of sin and transgressed negative commandments. This balance act of merits versus demerits is easy for us to understand.

But the teaching of R Shimon Bar Yochai serves to indicate that in some cases, a person can literally be judged based on one’s most recent deeds. One who has been good one’s entire life can throw everything away in an instant, while one who has been bad can be redeemed in an instant.

Are we reducing Rosh Hashana to a children’s game, where we behave nicely right before Rosh Hashana, so Santa Claus will give us the present we want?

Hardly. This is where Resh Lakish comes in. We can’t just be judged for our most recent deeds. We must regret our misdeeds of the past as well, and make a commitment not to return to our ways of old.

Herein lies the difference for all of us. It is very easy to say on any given day, “I will be a good person today. I am being judged today.

I am being watched today. I will perform well today.” It is much more difficult to make a conscience choice to make a commitment to-

day that will last for the rest of my life.

But Resh Lakish is reminding us that we can sincerely regret our past misdeeds, at any time, any day.

If we bring a fair dose of sincerity, and honest feelings of recommitment and renewal to striving to be better people in this coming year, it is our hope we will merit all the blessings that come upon those who truly earn for themselves a sweet new year.

Shana Tova to all.

Irving Place Minyan is excited to announce the appointment of Rabbi Ariel Rackovsky as our Rabbi.We invite the entire Five Towns Community to a two-part Yamim Noraim Lecture Series given by Rabbi Rackovsky.

Part I: Monday, September 19, 8:00pm

The Lectures will be open to Men and Women and will take place at Irving Place Minyan, 111 Irving Place, Woodmere.

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? INSIGHTS AND INTERPRETATIONS FOR ROSH HASHANAH'S POEMS AND PRAYERS. Part II: Tuesday, October 4, 8:00pm DOES G-D REPENT? Rabbi Ariel Rackovsky graduated Yeshiva College in 2002 with a Bachelors degree in Biology. A native of Rochester, New York, he studied for two years in Yeshivat Kerem BeYavneh prior to attending Yeshiva College. In March 2006, he received his Rabbinic ordination from Yeshiva University's Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary while serving as Rabbinic Intern at the Riverdale Jewish Center and on the Chaplaincy staff of the UJA/Zicklin Residence of the Metropolitan Jewish Hospice of New York. In the fall of 2006, he was appointed Senior Rabbinic Intern at the RJC, and joined the Rabbinical staff of the Beth Din of America, where he served until July of 2007, when he was named Assistant Rabbi at The Jewish Center. In conjunction with Yeshiva University's Center for the Jewish Future, Rabbi Rackovsky has taught in cities across the US and Canada, and served as the director of the 2006 Yeshiva University Atlanta Summer Kollel. Additionally, Rabbi Rackovsky is completing a Masters in Counseling at Pace University.

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September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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7

By Brigitte Fixler A sister’s battle with a serious disease and the emphasis on kindness ahead of Rosh Hashana has inspired a Queens resident to design pottery, aimed at raising awareness and funding. “I met a lot of amazing vendors and crafters,� said artist Abbey Wolin, who grew up in Long Beach. “I wanted to put to-

gether something amazing, something for Etta.�

On Sept. 18, Wolin organized a boutique sale at Yeshiva Madreigas HaAdam in Hillcrest, on her sister’s behalf. “People are always looking for nice things before Rosh Hashanah,� said Wolin, who creates hand painted glass items at Not Too Shabbey Designs, her brand of artistic products. “I met a lot of amaz-

Photo by Shayna Punim Photography

Unique glassware products by Not Too Shabbey, beneďŹ ting the designer’s sister, who is diagnosed with a rare disease.

ing vendors and crafters,� said Wolin. “I wanted to put together something amazing, something for Etta.�

Wolin brought together 22 different vendors selling clothing, gifts, Shabbos makeup, headbands, jewelry and Judaic items. Each of the vendors agreed to donate a percentage of their sales to Etta’s cause for refuah. “In the end we had to tell [additional vendors] no because it got too big,� Wolin said.

A number of local establishments, including Wok Tov and Bagel Island from the Five Towns, provided food platters, merchandise and raffle prizes. News of the event was spread informally through shuls and social media, attracting some 400 attendees. “It was very word of mouth,� said Sara Hecht, another sister of Etta. “People were very open and receptive.�

Etta was diagnosed with Relapsing Polychondritis (RPC) two years ago. This rare disease causes inflammation of cartilage tissue, and it can be life threatening if it affects cartilage from the trachea (windpipe), heart or blood vessels.

RPC is thought of as an autoimmune disorder, in which the body attacks its own normal cells. It may be found in people of all races, genders, and ages. Although the average age for onset is in middle age, Etta is only 32. The cause is unknown, and there is currently no

Photo courtesy of Abbey Wolin

Wolin’s children with their Aunt Etta, taken when Etta was healthy cure for RPC. Because it is such a rare condition, there is only limited research as to what treatments may work. Medications reported to help control symptoms include steroids and chemotherapy treatments, but these may cause serious side effects. “We want to bring awareness to her [Etta] and to the disease,� said Wolin. Following on the success of this event, Wolin is planning

a larger boutique around Pesach time. The fundraiser was coordinated within the Long Beach-based BACH Help Fund, headed by Rabbi Eli Goodman.

Those who would like to add Etta to their tehillim lists should please keep Etta Malka bat Devorah Gruna in their tefillot. Donations can be sent to “The Bach Help Fund� and put in the memo ETTA MALKA.

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THE JEWISH STAR September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771

Glassware designer raises awareness of rare disease

September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

8

The Kosher Bookworm

Mitzvah of teshuvah in our time

T

he very word itself, teshuvah, brings to mind the very essence of the element and experience of spiritual return. Teshuvah is the experience of returning, not to the good old days, but rather to a new world experience, one that is G-d centered and ordered.

Into this mix comes forth the teachings and writings of Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, whose very persona reflects upon the very core of what teshuvah, spiritual return, should to mean to us in our time.

In two books, one titled “Teshuvah: A Guide for the Newly Observant Jew” [Maggid Books / Shefa, 2010] and the other, “Change and Renewal: The Essence of the Jewish Holidays, Festivals and Days of Remembrance” [Maggid Books / Shefa, 2011] Rabbi Steinsaltz Alan Jay Gerber brings together some of the finest teachings concerning spiritual return and concern for the very heart of belief and faith in Jewish religious thought.

The first book makes for apt reading this time of year, for we are all ba’alei teshuvah in the eyes of our G-d at worship and in ritual practice. Herein can be found eloquent definition of what it means to return to that which we may never have left, to show contrition for sins we might, by our calculus, may never have committed.

First written 30 years ago, this work was described by Rabbi Norman Lamm as “a book that has been waiting to be written and it could not have found a more sensitive, knowledgeable and emotionally balanced author.” Consider that Rabbi Steinsaltz himself came from a non-observant family background.

With teshuvah uppermost on our minds, those sections dealing with the month of Elul, and its intense preparations for the upcoming high holiday observances, details the very definitive core of what truly and seriously constitutes true spiritual return.

To this mix the rabbi adds an intellectual component that should help you sort out the true nature of what constitutes true religious belief that is not defined by the swaying during prayer. The narrative by the rabbi transcends the bodily expressions and goes to the heart of our minds and hearts challenging us to face reality in terms of ethics, financial integrity, interpersonal relations and the day to day realities that we all must face as servants of our G-d.

The first chapter of this work, consisting 126 pages of tightly written essays, goes straight to the heart of the themes of this

78” by local resident Ari Schonbrun, though unrelated, are thematically written with an intense spiritual fervor rarely seen in contemporary literature today. Rabbi Wegbreit’s sefer will guarantee that you will never again treat the Aleinu prayer in a casual manner.

Ari Schonbrun’s book will really enhance your appreciation for life itself, and of the value of love and friendship of your fellow human being.

Read and enjoy, learn and do teshuvah, I extend my best wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Teshuvah is a spiritual re-awakening, a desire to strengthen the connection between oneself and G-d.

time of year. Mixing ritual observance with purpose and theology Rabbi Steinsaltz brings forth a refreshing and informal presentment of the inner purposes that motivate the high holiday season.

Each essay, written in plain and clear English may, at times, challenge your previous level of practice and intensity of belief.

However, in respect to the reader, the rabbi in no way challenges your intelligence nor your personal integrity. That respect for you follows throughout this entire work thus giving you the inner peace that you will need to help you better assimilate his message of spiritual integrity.

“The concept of Teshuvah occupies a central place in Judaism,” Rabbi Steinsaltz writes. “More than a shift to a life of greater religious observance, Teshuvah is a spiritual re-awakening, a desire to strengthen the connection between oneself and G-d; it is a lifelong process.”

As noted before, at this time of year we are all ba’alei teshuvah and further on Rabbi Steinsaltz defines this term as “thus like a person on a journey who at some point decides to change direction. From that point on, his steps will be carrying him toward a different destination. The turn itself is accomplished in a second. Yet the new path, like the one abandoned, is long and arduous.”

With that in mind may I briefly bring to your attention two brand new books, newly available in most area bookstores that will help give further expanded perspective to the concepts that were alluded to above.

“The Power of Aleinu” by Rabbi Asher Baruch Wegbreit, with a preface by Rabbi Yisroel Reisman, and “Miracles and Fate on

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9 THE JEWISH STAR September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771

Mensch on the street

By Ariel Rosenbloom

What’s your favorite Rosh Hashana dish?

“The Asian pear. I don’t want to sound fruity but you should never be afraid to try something new.”

“Potato Latka because it tastes good, and noodle pudding because it’s sweet and great for the holiday.”

CALI DAVIS (DAUGHTER) JILL DAVIS (MOM) Owner, “Gadgets and Gizmos” Roosevelt Field

“A round challah”

YONI SCHULTZ, Senior,

AVIVA WEINREB, two years old Gan Eden preschool Woodmere

Mesivta Ateres Yaakov Far Rockaway “The fish-head. I like when the eyes stare at me.”

“Plov. It’s a Bukharian rice dish.”

NETANEL NISANOV assistant manager, “The Esrog Garage” Cedarhurst

“My mom’s honey cookies. We get them once a year and they are sweet.”

SHOSHANA FEIERMAN, 10th grade student Tichon Meir Moshe, Far Rockaway

JOSH SKURNIK “Jerusalem Pizza” Lawrence

OPEN HOUSE PROGRAM NORTH SHORE HEBREW ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL A Modern Orthodox Yeshiva PROGRAM SUNDAY MORNING

October 30, 2011 Program Begins at 10 A.M. and Concludes at 1 P.M.

Please be Prepared to Stay for the Entire Program

For additional information please call Dr. Daniel J. Vitow Headmaster

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OPEN HOUSE

September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

10

Sickly sweet at Coffee Bean T

he arrival of Coffee Bean in New York was accompanied by internet-driven hype, making it seem like it was the greatest kosher thing to happen to New York City. Everywhere you clicked, there were tweets, status updates and blog posts extolling the virtues of this THE KOSHER LA-based coffee chain.

CRITIC I absorbed volumes of information about their jalapeño cheddar bagel and was told that their coffee was so good it was the rival to any boutique café with their pompous baristas and handpicked (conflict free) beans.

The problem with all this hype was that no matter how good Coffee Bean truly was, Zechariah Mehler an unreasonable expectation had been set and by the time I finally made it down to West 38th Street and Broadway, I assumed that Juan Valdez himself would hold my coat while I dipped a mastodon ivory cup into the solid gold espresso fountain. Despite being there to meet an old friend to

catch up I chose to do my food critic thing and order more than a typical consumer, to get a good idea of the cross section of Coffee Bean’s offerings. I began with an espresso and one of their house donuts.

The house donut immediately intrigued me because of both its size and shape.

For starters it was square rather than round. I would eventually find out that the shape served to allow the donut to contain custard in two of its four sides. This I must admit is a brilliant solution to the dilemma that is “how do you keep donut filling from squirting out when you eat it”. The donut itself was huge, I mean comically large and could have easily been a meal unto itself. Upon trying the donut I found it to be not bad. It was soft and doughy with a chocolate glaze and the

gooey custard.

The flavor however was slightly off. Not bad but certainly nothing to write home about. It reminded me of a Tastykake actually in that it was sweet and soft and very much a desert but it tasted very fake and loaded with preservatives.

The espresso was also not bad but by no means was it fantastic. I would never argue that Coffee Bean doesn’t make good coffee because what they gave me was far better than I have ever had at a Starbucks but it was not the mind blowing caffeine fueled experience I expected it to be.

From there I had a pepper jack and Portobello sandwich and Coffee Beans version of a Tazo Tea. The tea that I believed they called a “mucho mango” or some similar name containing mildly witty alliteration was made by adding tea

and mango flavoring to ice and then blending until it had a slurpee constancy. It was sickly sweet and artificial tasting just like the donut. The mango flavoring had clearly come from some industrial bottle and did nothing to further the flavor of the tea. The sandwich however was really good. The bread was fresh and had a good amount of spicy pepper jack cheese melted to one side.

It was stuffed with grilled portabella mushrooms and red peppers. The other side of the bread had a very mild pesto spread over it. All together these components made for an excellent sandwich with the mild sweetness of the peppers playing well with the earthy mushroom and the zesty cheese. It was the kind of sandwich I would love to have more often for lunch. That being said I can’t say that it was a better (or cheaper) sandwich then you can get at Circa or Milk Street Café which means that of everything I tried though everything was adequate and even reached into the realm of really good there was nothing that made Coffee Bean stand out. Ah well I guess that just is a lesson for me. You can’t believe everything you read online.

30. Traveler aboard Noah’s Ark 31. Kibbutz dance 32. Backpackers’ stopover 34. Caramel-coconut Girl Scout cookie that’s kosher 37. “The Nanny” has three of them 40. Passing subject?

42. Ben Gurion check-in essentials 45. Creature that divides to multiply 47. Artist Steinberg and writer Bellow 48. 1989 Roseanne Barr comedy “___ -Devil”

49. Most like it hot 50. Correct a manuscript 51. Object on the field in “The Natural” 52. Israeli statesman born in Cape Town, South Africa 53. “I Am a Lonesome ___” (Bob Dylan song) 54. Mid-10th century year 58. Like many sr. citizens

Zechariah Mehler is a widely published food writer and expert in social marketing.

Follow him on Twitter @thekoshercritic

The Jerusalem Post Crossword Puzzle

By David Benkof

Across 1. J.D. Salinger, for one 6. Puppies evoke them 9. ___ Mitzvah (coming-of-age ceremonies) 13. Gershwin’s “The Man ___” 14. Jerusalem’s ___ Dolorosa 15. Indignation 16. Former Pennsylvania governor and Democratic leader 18. Rapidity 19. Clever bit of wisdom, in Ann Landersspeak 20. The Balfour ___ (1917 document of note) 22. Tooth covering 24. Baal et al.

25. “...neither vex a stranger, ___ oppress him” (Exodus 22:21) 26. Group with class?

27. Work with a Singer 30. 30-day mourning period following burial 33. Geneticist Philip 35. Worked in the garden

Last week’s answers

36. Solid, as some furniture 38. Rabin’s assassin 39. Corrects a crossword answer (the oldfashioned way) 41. Strong as always 43. Purim mo. often 44. Lee and Kubrick 46. You might get one for a buck 47. Cherries’ leftovers 48. Like water in the Negev 51. Parsha that includes instructions about the Menorah 55. Dramatist Stoppard 56. TV’s “Mad ___ You” 57. “Dream Girl” playwright, 1945 59. Weasel’s cousin 60. “Up the Down Staircase” novelist Kaufman 61. Embodiment of evil 62. Bible’s first grandkid 63. Musical based on “Exodus” that ran for two weeks 64. Follows home?

Down 1. Lord of the manor 2. Bygone, like days 3. “All in the Family” producer 4. Adam’s apple source 5. Depicts 6. With, in Montreal 7. Defender of the “Chicago Seven” 8. Chicken and egg, e.g.

9. Tantrum-throwing tykes 10. Head of the Sanhedrin 11. “___ Undercover” (Rhea Perlman children’s book series) 12. Storyteller’s link 15. Ahab or Ishmael 17. State where Rehoboth Beach is: abbr.

21. Portly 23. Dispositions 26. John Deutch’s org.

27. Tune from “Porgy and Bess” 28. Sculptor Nadelman 29. Large hospital room

Answers will appear next week

11 THE JEWISH STAR September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771

Hebrew only please!

A Jewish newspaper should have a Hebrew column. So here it is.

We will try to maintain a level of vocabulary so that it will be easy enough for students to read and interesting enough for those more fluent to enjoy.

Against all odds: the anthropologist and the Jewish aliyah

By Rabbi Noam Himelstein Rabbi Noam Himelstein studied in Yeshivat Har Etzion and served in the Tanks Corps of the IDF. He has taught in yeshiva high schools, post-high school women’s seminaries, and headed the Torah MiTzion Kollel in Melbourne, Australia. He currently teaches at Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem, and lives with his wife and six children in Neve Daniel, Gush Etzion.

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September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

12

ON THE

Calendar Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com.

Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

Oct. 2 Reflections on teshuva CONGREGATION BETH SHOLOM, located at 390 Broadway in Lawrence, is hosting Rabbi Yehuda Septimus, who will be speaking on the topic “Reflections on teshuva: A pairing & sharing of religious leaders and thoughts.” Rabbi Septimus is the rav of Young Israel of North Woodmere.

The event is sponsored by the Orthodox Union.

For more information, contact Hannah Chornock at 212-613-8351.

Lecture for divorced parents Photo courtesy of Midreshet Shalhevet

Members of the Chesed Club at Midreshet Shalhevet have a full schedule of kindness activities, ranging from soup kitchens, to cemetery cleanups, to visiting seniors.

Chesed work expands at Shalhevet For the past two years, Woodmere resident Mindy Shachar stood before the class as a teacher at Midreshet Shalhevet, the North Woodmere girls high school. This year, she is out of the class, but busy coordinating numerous activities aimed at promoting community service among students. “This is the time to make an impression on them,” Shachar said. “I hope they continue chesed beyond their school year.”

Handling a schedule of soup kitchen visits, cemetery cleanups and nursing home activities, Shachar is the school’s first chesed coordinator, chosen based on her ability to connect with students and seek meaningful chesed activities. “Chesed comes in many forms,” Shachar said. “The girls will have the

opportunity to volunteer in many different ways.”

Among the activities are regular visits to the JASA (Jewish Association for Services for the Aged) center in Far Rockaway to “Adopt a Bubby,” where each student connects with one resident. “My own bubby is the activities director at JASA, and we want this to be a relationship rather than a random visit,” Shachar said. Her proudest moment so far was seeing her students taking photos on their Blackberries with their adoptive seniors. “It was cute to watch.”

Teaching that chesed goes beyond “money in a tzedakah box,” Shachar promises to create strong connections between her students and the seniors they visit. “We hope that this will be a special opportunity for both the young and the not so young.”

Oct. 3 Oceanside yeshiva benefit YESHIVA & MESIVTA BEIS SHMUEL, the new yeshiva serving the Oceanside community, is holding a parlor meeting at the home of Dovid & Chani Jacobowitz, located at One Sunset Road in Lawrence. Rabbi Usher David will be delivering words of inspiration at the event. Rabbi David is Rosh Yeshivas Emek Halacha and father of Rabbi Yisroel Meir David, the rebbe for ninth grade at this yeshiva. For more information, contact 646-932-1763.

Oct. 4 Introspection & Inspiration TORAH CENTER OF HILLCREST, located at 171-05 Jewel Avenue in Hillcrest, is hosting noted lecturer Rabbi Paysach Krohn, who will be speaking on the topic “Introspection & Inspiration: An Approach to the Yimei Hadin.” The event begins at 8 p.m. and costs $12, with proceeds benefiting Nishei Yeshiva Madreigas Ha’adam. For more information, contact NsheiYmhad@aol.com.

Rabbi Eli Mansour speaks 501296

By Sergey Kadinsky

FRUMDIVORCE.ORG, a service for individuals in the Orthodox community undergoing divorce, is holding a lecture for single parents with Rabbi Tuvia Leff speaking on the topic “Overcoming life challenges with emunah & bitachon.” Dr. David Rube will speak on the topic “Orphaned with parents.” Dr. Rube is an associate professor of psychiatry at Columbia University. The event begins at 9 p.m. at Sisu V’Simchu Hall, located at 4102 18 Avenue in Brooklyn. For more information, visit www.frumdivorce.org

BNOS BAIS YAAKOV PTA is hosting noted lecturer Rabbi Eli Mansour, who will be speaking on the topic “Teshuva: changing today for a better tomorrow.” There is no donation limit for this public event, which begins at 8:30 p.m. at Ateres Nechama Liba Simcha Hall, at 613 Beach 9 Street

in Far Rockaway. The event benefits Bnos Bais Yaakov, the local girls yeshiva. For more information, contact Jenny Gerber at 516-569-3338.

Oct. 5 Kosover Rebbe speaks KEHILAS BAIS YISROEL, located at 352 West Broadway in Cedarhurst, is hosting Rabbi Shraga Hager, the Kosover Rebbe, who will be delivering a lecture on the Yamim Noraim, followed by private appointments to answer specific questions from individuals. The event begins at 5 p.m. For more information, contact kehilasbaisyisroel@gmail.com

BMG Annual Reception CONGREGATION SHAAREY TEFILA, located at 25 Central Avenue in Lawrence, is paying tribute to Rabbi Amos Bunim zt’’l with a reception to benefit Beth Medrash Govoha, the famed Lakewood yeshiva. Roshei yeshiva Rabbi Aryeh Malkiel Kotler and Rabbi Yeruchim Olshin will be speaking. A memorial video and scroll of honor will be presented at the event, which begins at 8:30 p.m.

For more information and sponsorships, contact 732-367-1060 ext. 4252.

48 hours until Yom Kippur CONGREGATION AHAVAS YISROEL, located at 14702 73 Avenue Kew Gardens Hills, is hosting noted lecturer Rabbi Jonathan Rietti, who will speak on the topic of teshuva with 48 hours to go before Yom Kippur commences. The topic seeks to inspire davening on Yom Kippur. The event begins at 8:30 p.m. For more information, contact 718-268-1104

Ongoing Calling all Senior Song Birds THE JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS, located at 270 Grove Avenue in Cedarhurst, hosts a choir for seniors every Tuesday morning at 11 a.m. for a joyful hour of singing with choir master Zvi Klein.

We sing songs in all languages and we perform for local venues. There is a $5.00 optional contribution requested per session. For information please call Sheryl at 516-569-6733 x222.

Support group THE JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS will sponsor a new support group for the economically challenged as a result of the economic downturn. Key themes will include unemployment, financial issues, empowerment and support. Please join us on Thursday mornings at 10:15 a.m. at Temple Israel, 140 Central Ave, Lawrence until January 20th. This group is part of Connect to Care, an initiative funded by UJAFederation of NY. For further information and to pre-register, please contact Talia Rapps, L.M.S.W. at 516-569-6733 x213.

13 THE JEWISH STAR September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771

Ask Aviva

Dad fears pregnant wife Dear Aviva, My wife is pregnant and I feel like she is a different person! She blames it on the hormones and being pregnant, but it’s really taking a toll on me. According to her, I’m always either saying the wrong things, looking at her the wrong way, or I smell bad. Whatever I say or do seems to just anger her more and it’s frustrating for me, not to mention I don’t want to be around her! I want my wife back!

-Sad (soon-to-be) Dad

Dear Sad Dad, I think you summed up how many husbands feel. You are in a tough boat, but you will make it tougher in yourself if you keep looking at the short-term vs. the long-term.

Just keep telling yourself that this isn’t your wife under regular circumstances and needs to be handled with kid gloves. I don’t know how well you are able to put your ego aside in general, but now is good training ground to do so. You will have to cater to her for a bit, and if she seems to resist or push away, that may be her testing to see if you are really there for her.

She does not enjoy being a crazy, hormonal blob, even though she probably thinks she is logical. Don’t try to convince her otherwise. Try to put on different glasses when she is going a little nutty. Instead of “Wow, she’s lost it,” think, “Wow, she’s in distress.”

That way you can be her helper instead of her antagonist.

It’s like my two year-old when he some-

times wakes up in the middle of the night. If he’s hungry, he actually starts hitting me— hard! I know that once I get the food into him, he calms down and is his typical loving self. But, he resists the food because when he’s hungry, his only m.o. is to beat up Mommy. (I know, we have to work on his anger issues…) So at that point I can react to him beating me up by trying to protect myself. I can put him down and walk away, or I can hold him tighter and try to soothe him into accepting the slice of cheese that he’s pushing away. I’ve tried telling him that we don’t hit and I’ve tried fake-bawling. Those methods usually are effective in the afternoon when he hits me. But when he’s beyond himself, all he needs is a loving, firm, soothing hand to feed him. How can I be that hand amidst the flailing fists and head-butts? (He’s hard-core. Don’t mess.) I just keep reminding myself that I am here to care for him and help him.

Now, I know you probably don’t feel like playing mommy for the remainder of this pregnancy, but keep in mind that you are the person responsible for your wife’s care now.

If you are there to help her with her basic physical needs (food, drink, close proximity), she will hopefully see things a little differently. Just don’t get discouraged as she resists your most valiant efforts.

And, I just have to throw this in: Keep in mind that your wife is a patient. Somebody who is pregnant is at risk for so many more things than a non-pregnant person. Things unrelated to placentas and contractions. So

if you are noticing that your wife is looking pained often, check it out. Doctors don’t mind if you are cautious—how else are they supposed to know if something is wrong?

So here’s what I think: First, figure out what relaxes and calms you. Then make sure that you are able to have that accessible, or woven into your schedule. At that point you will be taken care of and therefore equipped to take care of someone else.

In case you are wondering, “When is it my turn?” Well, it’s not going to be your turn.

Not in this situation. But one of the occupa-

tional perks of this job is meeting your new little package that’ll be here before you know it.

I know I’m going crazy (in a good way) getting to know my two-week-old niece, Bella. I’m in love!

-Aviva Aviva Rizel is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice. She can be reached at 347-292-8482 or AvivaRizel.MFT@ gmail.com.

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September 30, 2011 • 29 ELUL, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

14

Opinion It’s about the future

M

ore than what he was saying, it was his face that caught my attention. Flicking on the television absent-mindedly as I was getting dressed for a wedding, I came across the middle of a program on what, after a moment, I realized was a story from the Second Lebanon war.

A young man was sharing what must have been an extremely difficult experience: the FROM THE HEART house his unit had takOF JERUSALEM en refuge in was hit by a Hezbollah anti-tank missile, a number of his comrades had been killed and wounded, and he himself wasn’t sure he would make it.

But what made me stop and listen was his face.

There was no pain in his eyes. He had clearly lost comrades, and yet there was no tragic sadness in his voice.

Rabbi Binny If anything, his eyes Freedman were animated; alive; and his voice was full of hope and promise. He spoke of his plans for the future and how lucky he was to have made it through and how he had been given a new lease on life, and now was determined to live up to that and make it a life worth living. And nowhere in his words was any hint of despair. I remember thinking how remarkable it was that a young soldier should live through such events and be able, only a short time later, to describe them without any bitterness or anger. And I was taken by how ‘at peace’ he seemed ; even happy, despite all he had been through.

The interviewer asked the veteran, “If you had the chance to do it over again, would you have made the same choices, would you have gone to fight?” He responded in the affirmative.

At which point the cameraman panned back to reveal that the speaker was sitting in a wheelchair and had with no legs. His battle injuries had resulted in a double amputation, from the knee down.

I was taken by the cameraman’s decision to focus for so long on this young man’s face.

If I had seen the whole picture I probably would have been focused on the legs that weren’t there, instead of the person that was.

But on a deeper level, I was struck by how a person, who had been through so much, could remain so positive. “You would do this again?” she asked, “even if you knew you would suffer the same injuries?” His face took on a surprised look. “I had the privilege

of serving as a Jewish soldier, in a Jewish come later on. The story of Yishmael, then, is army, defending the Jewish people in a Jew- all about the here and now. And the message ish state,” he said. “After two thousand years is that whatever mistakes we may have made of dreaming, I had this privilege. Of course I in the past, this moment is the beginning of the rest of our lives, and changing the now, would do it again!”

Every year, on Rosh Hashanah we read changes everything. Certainly a fitting mestwo different stories: on the expulsion of sage for Rosh Hashanah.

And what of Yitzchak and the binding of Yishmael, Avraham’s first son with his handmaiden Hagar; and the binding of Yitzchak. (Yitzchak) Isaac? Yitzchak is all about the Both are stories of the sons of Abraham, and future.

Indeed, when G-d first ‘approaches’ Avraboth involved Avraham’s ability to be willing ham, the Torah tells us: to sacrifice or let go, of a son.

“And it was after these things that G-d In the story of Yishmael, Avraham sends his son away, whereas in the story of tested Avraham. And he said to him Avraham, and Avraham said: ‘Here I am’.” (BereYitzchak, they come together. ishit 22) From a Jewish perThe word hineni, Here spective, Yishmael seems I am, is a very significant to be a failure, departing from Jewish tradition Balance our abil- word that means a lot more than the response to and establishing the Arab nation. Yitzchak on the ity to live in the ‘knock knock’. This same word, used sparingly, is other hand, is one of our Moshe’s response to Gforefathers, the progenitor of the Jewish people. present and be in d’s calling at the Burning Bush, as well as Yaakov’s Why do these two vastly disparate stories comprise the moment, while response to Yitzchak’s calling for a blessing. Whenevthe Torah readings in our this word is used in the Rosh Hashanah service, at the same time er Torah, it is indicative of an and what common theme individual responding to a is the message of their open to whatever calling. Hineni means I am connection? here, ready to serve, it is a The story of Yishmael is all about the here and life’s next moment moment of pure potential, wherein a person rises to now. Abraham, against the challenge of becoming his natural instincts of has to bring all they could ever be. loving-kindness, is forced And it is in this moment

by G-d to listen to his wife Sarah and send Yishmael (and his mother of ‘hineni’ that Avraham says to G-d: ‘I exist Hagar) away. The Torah tells us that this is because You created me; because You love because Yishmael is “me’tzachek,” literally: me; whatever You ask of me, I live to do.’ laughing at (or with) Yitzchak. And while And in truth, this is the essential kernel of the Midrashim and commentators differ as what life is all about. If Hashem (G-d) creto the exact meaning of this phrase varying ated me, then I must have a purpose, and from lewd behavior to taunting, one thing if Hashem loves me enough to have decided is clear: Yitzchak, which means literally ‘he the world is better off with me still in it for at will laugh’, is juxtaposed with Yishmael, least another day, then all I want is to know the me’tzachek, or one who laughs now. is what Hashem wants of me. How can my Yitzchak’s life is about the future, while Yish- being here, today, make the world better?

Indeed, it is within the context of hineni mael is all about the here and now.

Indeed, as the story continues, when that we respond to life’s greatest challenges.

When Israeli reserve soldiers stop what Yishmael is cast beneath the bushes dying of thirst and calling out for water G-d hears him they are doing and answer a call to battle, however painful and challenging that may “ba’asher hu’ sham,” where he is.

The Midrash, noting this unique phrase, be, they are essentially saying “here I am.” has the angels in an uproar over G-d’s deci- When we stop what we are doing, because sion to save Yishmael. After all, they say, the the opportunity for a mitzvah, whether it descendants of this lad will one day slaugh- be helping refugees from an earthquake in ter G-d’s (Jewish) children, so how can G-d Japan, or rebuilding homes for the poor in Haiti, we are essentially saying: “hineni.” spare him now?

The Israeli reservist understands that his G-d’s response? I hear his honest remorse and pain now, and if now he is repentant country needs him. He recognizes that he is then he should be saved, whatever might needed, and he essentially says ‘here I am’.

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And this is true whenever we say Hineni.

We see refugees from Sudan being beaten to death by Egyptians at the border and we stop what we are doing and say hineni. In the binding of Isaac, Avraham’s “hineni” aspires to a whole new level. Avraham says hineni without even having an inkling of what is coming.

Avraham is responding to G-d before G-d has even told him what he wants. It is enough for Avraham to know he is called, for him to immediately respond ‘Hineni’. This Hineni is all about the future: whatever you ask of me, whatever today and tomorrow bring: ‘Hineni’.

And this, incidentally, sets the theme of the story of the binding of Isaac. Where the story of Yishamael was all about the here and now, the story of Yitzchak is all about what lies ahead. Indeed, where Yishmael is the ‘metzachek’ the one who laughs now, Yitzchak literally means ‘he will laugh’ in the future. Yishamel is about being in the present, in the given moment, and Yitzchak is about seeing and being ready to accept and to live up to the moment that is yet to come.

This is one of the most essential ingredients of a loving relationship.

Imagine your daughter calls you up from school and you can hear the quiver in her voice; sense the tears that are on the verge of bursting forth, and you instantly know hineni: here I am; whatever she needs. Or when your wife calls down from upstairs; the ability to be in that hineni mode is all about how much trust and love already exists in that moment. If my wife asks something of me, then it must be important, even before I know what it is. And this is the essence of our relationship with Hashem.

Being in the moment of Yishmael and the readiness to serve in the future of Yitzchak, are what Rosh Hashana is all about.

We have the chance to start over and learn to balance our ability to live in the present and be in the moment, while at the same time open to whatever life’s next moment has to bring.

As we begin the New Year, may we all be blessed to appreciate the beauty inherent in every moment, alongside the challenges, and may we be blessed as well with the strength to change the future, so that the world as it is, becomes the world as it could be.

Wishing you all a sweet, happy, and healthy New Year.

Rav Binny Freedman, Rosh Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem’s Old City is a Company Commander in the IDF reserves, and lives in Efrat with his wife Doreet and their four children.

His weekly Internet ‘Parsha Bytes’ can be found at www.orayta.org

15

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