December 21, 2012

Engelmayer: Protecting and nurturing our young Page 5 Who’s in the kitchen: baked gefilte fish Page 7 DRS Torahs are returned post-Sandy Page 10 Bookworm: Jews and Christmas in America Page 13

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VOL 11, NO 49 ■ DECEMBER 21, 2012 / 8 TEVET 5773

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Hi-tech match gets rabbinic nod

5T educator remembered

By Karen C. Green

By Malka Eisenberg The recent launch of an Orthodox Jewish website combining scientifically researched measures of compatibility with rabbinic consent (haskama) has drawn interest from 20,000 visitors and over 2,800 registrants.

ZivugZone.com is a project of Moshe Coan, a psychotherapist and marriage counselor who has worked with singles and couples for 15 years in his practice in Passaic and Teaneck, New Jersey.

He notes on his website that he developed a unique system that whittles down possible matches to only show those that are most compatible.

“I have been thinking of doing this for a number of years,” said Coan via email. “I have MOSHE COAN always felt it Founder of ZivugZone.com imperative to do anything I could to help the singles in my community get married. My wife and I were always thinking of whom we could set up and when we finally set up my best friend, we dedicated ourselves to making this project of ours a reality. As a psychotherapist and marriage counselor, I had always used my understanding of personality dynamics in making my dating suggestions to the

‘The more per-

sonality traits that a couple shares in common, the easier it is for them to negotiate the challenges of marriage and parenthood.’

Continued on page 3

Children arrive at school, a place that should be a safe haven.

Five Towns leaders address post Connecticut security

By Malka Eisenberg As members of communities the world over remain saddened and shaken by the shootings of 20 children and six adult staff members at a Connecticut elementary school, schools and institutions are left to ponder if there is any way to learn from this and prevent this from happening again.

Rep. Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY4) released a statement noting that “There are a lot of unanswered questions right now, but one thing is clear – there’s too much gun violence in our country. These shootings are becoming all too common, and it’s too easy for dangerous people to get the weapons that help them perform mass executions like today’s.

We owe it to our children to work harder to reduce gun violence. The Second Amendment is the law of the land but it was never intended to allow murderers to take the lives of innocent kids. It’s our moral obligation as policymakers and as parents to do more to

save lives.”

It is “a very complex issue with no easy answers,” said Dr. Michael J. Salamon, Senior Psychologist and Director of ADC Psychological Services in Hewlett. He summarized what is known “about individuals who commit such acts”: the situations are carefully planned, the shooter has uncertain family connections and limited parental supervision, has difficult social interactions and problems in school, a mental illness diagnosis, possibly incomplete and untreated and more than one disorder making a violent tendency more likely since it is difficult to treat. These individuals may turn to brutal fantasies with the use of violent video games and movies and, with a compromised psychological background, might act out these fantasies. That, coupled with access to and lack of training or evaluation in the use of weapons, they are most likely to use weapons to harm others. “To prevent future episodes Continued on page 3

RIETS Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Dr. Zevulun (Sidney Z.) Lieberman z”l (YC 51, RIETS 54, FGS 59) passed away this week and wiil be remembered fondly by community members were his students and campers at Hillel Day School, Ramaz Yeshiva, and Camp Massad.

“Rabbi Zevulan (Sidney) Lieberman was an outstanding Jewish educator and pulpit rabbi who positively touched the hearts of thousands of students and congregants over the years. His son Hillel was martyred saving Torah scrolls from Kever Yosef during the second Intifada. He leaves behind a legacy of love for Israel, the Jewish people and the Torah, “ said Yoel Moskowitz who was a camper at Camp Massad.

Rabbi Lieberman’s illustrious career also included his tenure as head of both the Syrian Community Bet Din and the Vaad Harabonim of Rabbi Dr. Zevulun Flatbush. He was the reLieberman z’’l vered senior Rabbi (and later Rabbi Emeritus) of Congregation Beth Torah in Brooklyn for over 52 years.

Prior to his tenure at Hillel, Rabbi Lieberman, an erudite historian, arrived at Yeshivah of Flatbush in 1954 and served as High School Administrator, Assistant Principal and Acting Principal and then Principal of General Studies until he ended his tenure in 1966. He was an integral contributor to the development of the Joel Braverman High School from its founding days. He continued in the field of Jewish education as Headmaster of the Ramaz School and Principal of Hillel Day. Most recently he held the Maxwell R. Maybaum Memorial Chair in Talmud and Sephardic Codes (Halacha) at RIETS. In October 2000, Rabbi Lieberman his son Hillel HYD was tragically murdered by a Palestinian mob on his way to Kever Yoseph.

Condolences to his wife Bracha, his daughters Tehila and Eliora, his brother Hon. Paul Lieberman and the entire family.

Shabbat Candlelighting: 4:14 p.m. Shabbat ends 5:18 p.m. 72 minute zman 5: 44 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Vayigash

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December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 THE JEWISH STAR

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Chabad’s 18th Annual Chai Celebration was full of life

From left Isaac Bitton, Aaron Fischman, Rabbi Wolowik

Close to 500 people came to pay tribute to 5 well deserving couples-- Mr. and Mrs. Ben and Sandy Gordon, Mr. and Mrs. Larry and Esta Gordon, Dr. and Dr. Yakov and Rachel Lowinger, Mr. and Mrs. Gidon and Alla Shema, and Mr. and Mrs. Zack and Dovi Tomaszewski. These guests of honor are all good friends of Chabad and it was wonderful to see their friends, family and colleagues paying homage to them for their hard work on behalf of Chabad.

Delicious food, camaraderie, inspiration, humor, and fun were all part of Chabad’s 18th Annual Dinner celebration, which was held on December 16 the Grand Ballroom of the Sephardic Temple. The dinner gave everyone the opportunity to reflect on the milestones we have reached as a community under the capable leadership of Rabbi Zalman and Chanie Wolowik, and dynamic youth directors Rabbi Meir and Hadassah Geisinsky and to recognize the important work that Chabad of the Five Towns continues to do for the community. What an incredible evening it was!! The spirit and energy were palpable and hundreds of action packed pictures were taken by Vision’s Fine Photography and exceptional video was taken by Three Star Photography.

Genadeen Caterers did a spectacular job.

The food was great and the atmosphere elegant. Once at their tables, guests enjoyed the gorgeous pink orchids and silver tablecloths compliments of Jerusalem Florist and Premier

Skirting.

Guests were treated to an upbeat video presentation that highlighted the many successful programs that Chabad offers. It acknowledged all staff and volunteers who continue to work hard to help with Chabad’s outreach efforts.

The video taped messages from the Honorees and their families kept everyone’s attention as they detailed their commitment and involvement in Chabad. Gan Chamesh parents of the year, Zack and Dovi Tomaszewski, demonstrated their feelings that Chabad is an extension of their family with their “Tomaszewski Bunch” rendition.

Guests of honor were presented with beautiful custom artwork and Penina Popack received a special mention to thank her for all her hard work on behalf of the dinner. Exquisite memory albums are being prepared for each honoree, to include personalized letters and tributes.

Everyone danced enthusiastically to the upbeat music provided by Gary Wallin Orchestras. The guests enjoyed the sumptuous dessert buffet and had a chance to take their pictures in the photo booth provided.

Guests were given an elegantly wrapped copy of “Miracle in the Ashes”, generously donated by the Lowingers in memory of their grandfather.

What a meaningful way to end a beautiful evening.

Penina Popack and Chanie Wolowik

Honorees Larry and Esta Gordon

Rabbi Zalman and Chanie Wolowik with Honorees Ben and Sandy Gordon

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Rabbi Zalman and Chanie Wolowik with honorees Gidon and Alla Shema

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Continued from page 1 of these types of tragedies requires a concerted effort to identify and care for individuals with emotional, behavioral and psychological needs; to limit the degree of violence our children are exposed to,” he wrote, “and to restrict gun sales to only competent and well trained individuals. Even then we may never be able to prevent all such tragedies.”

“It’s such a sad event,” said Yocheved Daphna, CEO of ISS (Israeli Security Services) Action, a security company based at Kennedy Airport. “It was obviously a mentally challenged or disturbed person.” ISS Action provides security for the NASA Space Center in Mississippi, the Brooklyn Bridge, Yeshiva South Shore, State of New York office buildings, Japan Airlines, Swiss Air and the duty free carts for Delta and American Airlines. Company president, Yehuda Daphna, said that they have been providing security for YSS since 9/11, when they were approached by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky.

“He was well aware of the sakanah (danger) and decided to start security there.” Yehuda noted that he worked in security in Israel and abroad for the Israeli government for 25 years, eight years in the IDF and the rest in Europe. He said that he, as one of the highest ranking officers in intelligence, was personally asked by Golda Meir to help the Europe division immediately after the terrorist attack at the Munich Olympics. After a detour into food chemistry, he ended up in the U.S. and was asked by the U.S. government to control drug flow through JFK airport under then President Ronald Reagan.

He said that he has been working out of JFK controlling drugs from Colombia and South America “going back 22 years.”

“It’s very important to keep all doors locked at all times,” stressed Yocheved. Yehuda emphasized the need to lock windows as well. “Kids leave a big stone at the back (of the school) to keep the door open,” Yocheved added. “It’s important to have one route of entrance and egress. You’d be amazed at how many doors are left open.”

Yocheved also stressed the deterrent value of a security guard at the entrance, and that it wasn’t always necessary for the guard

Metal detectors and x-ray machines are cited by security experts as necessary for school safety to be armed, that it depended on the location of the site. She noted that the guard at the NASA center fired his weapon only once in 19 years. She said that it is different from police and also different from Israel where they are dealing with known threats of terrorism.

Jews here, she added, have the “mindset of Israeli security.”

“In Texas and the West, a lot, even the teachers, have guns,” said Yehuda. “If they know that the teachers have guns, they (the attackers) won’t come in. In Israel, there is a security guard with a gun in the schools—it’s a must for every school. But having a gun is not enough. Having a bullet proof vest on the security guard is as important as a gun in Israel because they will be confronting someone with a gun.” He said that most New York City detectives have never fired their weapons, but have them just in case. “It’s a deterrent,” he said. A guard with a uniform is important; an observer doesn’t know if the guard has a gun or not.

Background checks of teachers and all employees, including custodial staff, are necessary, stressed Yehuda. “About five years ago one of the yeshivos approached me,” he recalled. “They needed fingerprinting for

teachers for grants. I said that it was a good opportunity to get all the people who work there to be fingerprinted. They all ran away.

A lot may have criminal records.”

Schools should have a buzzer system and metal detectors, Yehuda said. “Security sees who is coming in. The buzzer system is the best thing. Security checks everybody who comes in. If they don’t know who the person is, they don’t let him in. Especially in kindergarten, what if a parent wants to take a kid, there are cases of divorce. It is a must in any kindergarten.”

“It takes a community as well,” stressed Yocheved. “People need to be aware of their surroundings. If I see a package or something, I make the phone call. I was once in the Gourmet Glatt parking lot and I saw a car running with no one in the car, license plates from North Carolina and the trunk had duct tape on it. It looked unusual so I called 911.

There could have been a bomb in the trunk.

The police came and it was a delivery person.

But everyone has to be more vigilant and not be complacent.”

With the country focused on security, Nassau County Executive Edward P. Mangano asked the Nassau County Police Depart-

ment to host its fourth Active Shooter Seminar on January 7th at 9:00 a.m. at Adelphi University. The program is for private and public schools, corporations and hospitals.

An active shooter is an attacker armed with a gun, knife or other weapon, who has used deadly physical force on other persons and may continue to attack other victims. The seminar will cover preparation, early detection and maintaining close contact with the police department. “On behalf of Nassau County’s 1.3 million residents,” said Mangano, “I express my deepest condolences to the victims and families of the terrible tragedy that took place on Friday at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. While we all hope to never face such an active shooter situation, Nassau County is leading the nation in preparing school administrators. The safety of our children is of paramount concern and, working with the Nassau County Police Department, we will continue to advance preventative measures that enhance education and preparedness.”

To participate in the Active Shooter Seminar contact the Nassau County Police Department, Office of Community Affairs, at 516 573-7360.

Hi-tech matchmaking gets rabbinic approval Continued from page 1 singles I worked with. I then said to myself, ‘why don’t I parlay my knowledge of marital compatibility into a personality compatibility matching system?’ Thus ZivugZone.com was born. The project took almost a year to complete, since it involved complex software programming. For that, I turned to a top programming firm to bring forward the concept into the wonderful reality that exists today. The programmers spent countless hours working out the bugs so that ZivugZone.com would be user friendly and easy to navigate.”

The website is operated from Passaic and is free. Sample questions were not available since it is copywrited, but Coan recommends that those singles who are interested, register a profile and take the 25 minute personality test. The age range is 18 to 75, noted Coan since the site caters to “singles of every age range.” People have signed up from “every Orthodox community in the world,” he pointed out, including Brooklyn, Queens, Passaic, Monsey, the Five Towns, Teaneck, Lakewood, London, Toronto, Los Angeles, Miami, Chicago, Denver, Philadelphia, Sydney, Johannesburg, Tel Aviv, Yerushalayim, etc.”

The website opened in July 2012 and Coan announced their first engagement, of Alisa Kahn-Rose of North Hollywood, Los Angeles, California and Jordan Roysman of Plainview, Long Island, New York, on Monday. This, said Coan, reflects “the fact that we now have reached critical mass and many engagements are to be expected.”

ZivugZone.com was reviewed by and has the haskamos of Harav Moshe Heinemann, Shlita, Rav of Agudas Yisroel of Baltimore and Rabbinic Administrator of Star-K Kashrus and HaRav Shlomo Singer, Rosh HaYeshiva of Passaic Torah Institute, Passaic, NJ. To join, a single fills out the registration form, chooses to communicate with other singles through Zmail, the website’s in-house email system, or through a shadchan (matchmaker), takes the ZivugZone Moshe personality compatibility test, and then reviews potential matches and reads profiles. The test is based on scientific research conducted on thousands of happily married couples, explained Coan, and evalu-

ates the applicant’s opinions on many topics and situations. It doesn’t have to be completed in one sitting. Matches will be displayed immediately upon completion and, as others join, new matches will be added. Matches are based on hashkafah (philosophy) as well as personality; profiles indicate the member’s hashkafah.

Members can choose to communicate either with their email system or through a shadchan of their choosing, but not with both options simultaneously, although they can switch from one to the other by indicating that they want to switch on the website. Individuals only have their first names and middle, and last initials listed to protect privacy and confidentiality. Coan had no date stories to tell. “When people go out on dates,” he said, “what happens on the date is personal and Coan private. I would not expect someone to publicize that information about their experience on a date whom they don’t know.”

Coan explained the “compatibility princi-

ple,” the basis for the website, that “the more personality traits that a couple shares in common, the easier it is for them to negotiate the challenges of marriage and parenthood.

They come to share similar perspectives on key issues of married life because they are temperamentally alike. This is not to say that the couple should be a carbon copy of each other. A certain amount of personality difference promotes growth as the spouses are forced to examine their weaknesses. However, research studies show that when the couple shares core personality traits, they find it easier to develop emotional intimacy and collaborate.”

Coan cited comments praising the site, one stating that it is “the best possible method for a dating website in the frum (Orthodox) world,” and thanks for “setting up this site and making networking so much easier for people.”

For more information, go to ZivugZone. com. For questions or comments, contact Moshe Coan at moshecoan@zivugzone.com.

THE JEWISH STAR December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773

Local leaders address post Connecticut security

December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 THE JEWISH STAR

4

Opinion Will President Obama appoint anti-Jewish, anti-Israel Chuck Hagel to be Secretary of Defense?

N

ow that the election is over, Barack Obama no longer has to appeal to supporters of Israel or haters of terrorism.

Progressive Jews no longer have to lie—calling him a great president for Israel. As he told Russian president Medvedev after the election, he will have more flexibility.

According to sources in Washington, President Obama’s first demonstration of that flexibility will be to appoint former Senator Chuck Hagel to replace Leon Panetta as Secretary of Defense.

“Bloomberg News reported Thursday POLITICO that President Barack TO GO Obama spoke to Hagel about the position on December 4.

Hagel, who served two terms in the United States Senate representing his home state of Nebraska, has been a member of the President’s Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board as well as a member of the faculty of GeorgeJeff Dunetz town University since leaving Capitol Hill in 2009.”

My sources tell me he has already been vetted by the White House Staff.

Why should supporters of Israel be worried about Hagel?

Consider that, as a Senator, Hagel voted against designating the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps as a terrorist organization, refused to call on the E.U. to designate Hezbollah a terrorist group, and consistently voted against sanctions on Iran for their illicit pursuit of nuclear weapons capability.

And bragged about not being beholden to the “Jewish Lobby.”

Josh Block, head of the Israel Project, says, “It is a matter of fact that [Hegal’s] record on these issues puts him well outside the mainstream Democratic and Republican consensus.”

Don’t take my word for it; in an attempt to be bi-partisan, I posted below a summary of what the National Jewish Democratic Council (NJDC) warned about Sen. Hagel’s lousy record on Israel in 2007. (They took the page down when Obama began to express interest in Hagel for his administration, but I saved a copy). Below are some of the details:

•In August 2006, Hagel was one of only 12 Senators who refused to write the EU asking them to declare Hezbollah a terrorist organization.

•In October 2000, Hagel was one of only 4 Senators who refused to sign a Senate letter in support of Israel.

•In November 2001, Hagel was one of only 11 Senators who refused to sign a letter urging President Bush not to meet with the late Yasser Arafat until his forces ended the violence against Israel.

•In December 2005, Hagel was one of only 27 who refused to sign a letter to President Bush to pressure the Palestinian Authority to ban terrorist groups from participating in Palestinian legislative elections.

•In June 2004, Hagel refused to sign a letter urging President Bush to highlight Iran’s nuclear program at the G-8 summit.

In 2008, Hagel blocked an Iran sanctions bill that Senate Democrats supported. That same year, he gave a speech calling for the opening of a U.S. diplomatic post in Tehran.

As early as 2001, Hagel said that sanctions on Iran and Libya were ineffective. He was one of only two senators that year to vote against renewal of the Iran-Libya Sanctions Act, the other being the soon to be former senator Richard Lugar (R-IN).

I don’t want to leave you with the impression that everyone hates Hagel’s record on Israel. The same NJDC article did cite one group that supported Hagel’s Middle East efforts--CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

According to the FBI, CAIR was formed by the Muslim Brotherhood and has ties to Hamas. CAIR is a big fan of Hagel: “Potential presidential candidates for 2008, like Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Joe Biden and Newt Gingrich, were falling all over themselves to express their support for Israel. The only exception to that rule was Senator Chuck Hagel …” [Council on American-Islamic Relations, 8/28/06].

Iran’s state-owned Press TV seemed happy when they wrote that Hagel was Obama’s number one choice for defense: Some in the Israeli lobby have reportedly reacted with alarm to reports of Hagel’s nomination, as he is known as an outspoken critic of the Zionist lobby in Washington.

Then there was that nice little speech he made during the Senate debate about the surge where he seemed to justify terrorism by the Palestinians “who have been chained down.”

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Senator Hagel often appears before ArabAmerican groups to air his views regarding the Middle East. Among the gems of wisdom: support for Israel shouldn’t be automatic.

He has also joined a chorus of people surrounding Barack Obama who use the antiSemitic meme about the so-called Jewish Lobby.

Says Hagel: “The political reality is that... the Jewish lobby intimidates a lot of people up here.” There are many millions of Americans who are not Jewish, who support the American-Israel relationship. Hagel pushes the anti-Semitic meme that Jews control American foreign policy (if they did--they would do a better job than this administration).

Supporters of Syrian President Assad will be happy to know that Hagel has always been a big supporter of the despot and his father (also a despot). After meeting with daddy Assad in 1998, Hagel said, “Peace comes through dealing with people. Peace doesn’t come at the end of a bayonet or the end of a gun.”

In 2008, Hagel co-authored a Wall Street Journal op-ed with prospective secretary of state nominee Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), entitled, “It’s time to talk to Syria.”

“Syria’s leaders have always made cold calculations in the name of self-preservation, and history shows that intensive diplomacy can pay off,” Hagel and Kerry wrote.

Ira Forman, who was in charge of the Obama reelection campaign’s outreach to Jewish voters, said in 2009, after Hagel was named co-chairman of the President’s Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board, that he would have opposed Hagel’s nomination for a more substantive position. Let’s see if he follows through should (as it seems) Hagel become Obama’s pick to run the Defense De-

partment.

Will the President pick Hagel despite his anti-Israel and anti-Semitic positions? AntiIsrael propagandists are thrilled. Stephen Walt, who along with John Mearsheimer, wrote the Anti-Semitic book “The Israel Lobby and U.S. Foreign Policy,” writes that if President Obama nominates Hagel, it will be “a smart move.” Because, “unlike almost all of his former colleagues on Capitol Hill, he hasn’t been a complete doormat for the Israel lobby.” Indeed, says Walt, a Hagel pick would “pay back Benjamin Netanyahu for all the ‘cooperation’ Obama received from him during the first term.”

As Defense Secretary, Chuck Hagel would play a key role in working with his Israeli counterparts when formulating strategies that would promote our mutual interests in the region. The Israeli and American defense industries and departments have a long record of working closely together-an alliance that has been mutually beneficial and that has proven crucial in giving Israel the tools she has needed to defend herself from a wide range of adversaries boasting of her coming destruction, and the U.S. the benefits of Israel’s years of counter-terrorism experience.

The Secretary of Defense is a key player in our fight against terrorism. Yet Hagel does not believe Hezbollah is a terrorist group, thinks we should be talking to Hamas and believes Iran isn’t a threat. This man cannot be the best choice for America.

Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog “The Lid” (www.jeffdunetz.com).

Jeff contributes to some of the largest political sites on the internet including American Thinker, Big Government, Big Journalism, NewsReal and Pajama’s Media.

Letter to the editor

No autism-violence link Dear Editor: We join the nation in mourning the lives lost on Friday in Newtown, Conn. Kulanu, an organization that works diligently to provide inclusive opportunities for those with special needs, is distressed by the media and the nation’s rush to understand the reasoning for this terrible occurrence by intimating that the alleged shooter had a possible autism diagnosis. We wish to highlight The Autism Society’s stance that it is imperative to remove autism from this tragic story.

The Autism Society, committed to informing, educating and securing appropriate services by offering reliable and unbiased information, provided the following myths to be dispelled about individuals with autism: · No evidence exists to link autism and premeditated violence. Suggesting otherwise is wrong and harmful to the more than 1.5

million individuals living with autism in the United States. · Individuals with autism and those with other disabilities are more likely to be victims of violence than the perpetrators. · Many of the individuals with Asperger’s syndrome who have committed crimes had co-existing psychiatric disorders. · Individuals with autism who act aggressively typically do so because they are reacting to a situation.

Please do not judge any individual with autism based on the discourse surrounding Friday’s tragic event. Instead, please strive to educate and inform your communities.

Please consider forwarding or sharing this information with a friend.

Sincerely, Amy L. Eisenberg Director, Parent Advocacy & Resource Center (PARC) A Division of Kulanu

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That is what gets me. This was not a new revelation in the mid nineties when Rabbi Lamm apparently asked this principal to leave quietly. That might have been the tipping point, when a parent finally threatened to expose the school for the shenanigans that went on there for what seems to be over two decades. It certainly was not news to anyone.

I was fortunate not to have been one of the wrestlers. The man disliked me too much to do that, and I was probably too tall anyhow. He picked on the kids who were a little shorter and many whose parents were not the type to raise a fuss. In one case, it was parents who did not even live in the country.

Yet, I knew. I told my father, who probably thought it was more trumped up hype from some of us disenchanted YU boys. It was only more recently, after some of my previous articles were published on this, and later, the full accounting by someone other than his son in the various media over the past year, that it hit him.

That school left scars. Looking now on comments to the New York Times article made this week from my former classmates on Facebook, the wounds have not quite healed for some, and Rabbi Lamm’s excuse that the atmosphere for reporting these types of issues was not present back then is no solace. (’87 Graduate #1) “He (Rabbi Lamm) needs to suffer for this. Who knows how many lives were damaged by the abuse, and sadly, how many went on to become abusers themselves. I can’t guess who knew what, but we know Lamm knew. There’s no excusing him.” (’87 Graduate #2) Well George obviously

did not surprise me. Lamm’s comments were shocking and I find that blaming it all on Israel Miller who is dead is disgusting.” (’87 Graduate #4) “Nothing like reminiscing of old times to bring people together.

I remember it being common knowledge that Finkelstein would wrestle with some guys. I think XXX told me he did it to him and XXX punched him in his face when it got weird. I guess I wasn’t his type.”

As I said, we all knew. Not to say that mere wrestling per se is a bad thing. Arguably, it is a good way to connect with students and blow off steam. However, the brand of wrestling and the seemingly personal and intimate nature it allegedly took for enough people to be uncomfortable with the experience, is quite wrong.

That Rabbi Lamm did not know is as absurd to many of us as was the fact that we were subject to that behavior in the first place. The school left a dark memory for so many of us.

As I wrote earlier in an article, not everyone was subject to the darkness. The students who were on top of their games, in good Judaic and Talmud classes and who were academics, I do not believe – and I emphasize that it is my belief and not a sure fact – shared in the experiences many of us in the lower classes had. Yet, even many of those students knew, too.

Not just the wrestling. We had one rabbi who was so frustrated with a certain student who admittedly was challenging; either intentionally or impulsively, it did not matter because MTA was ill equipped to handle such students properly. This rabbi of a multigrade classroom of kids who had difficulties learning Torah one day asked his students to

bring in rope and duct tape and the next day, tied and wrapped this one child from head to toe and made him sit there for the duration of the morning lessons.

When his mother tried to complain, she was convinced to let it slide for the best interest of her older son in the school and not to be seen in her community as the one to challenge such an esteemed institution. Her younger son left and went to one of New York’s elite high schools – proving that he was not learning disabled, but maybe uninspired; yet, his life since has been one of personal emotional challenges to a fairly significant degree. His brother and I just talked this week after the stories ran and we both cannot be certain that that experience did not leave its mark. That rabbi went on to be a principal, too, in another Jewish day school.

To Rabbi Lamm’s point that, “This was before things of this sort had attained certain notoriety,” “There was a great deal of confusion,” I and his other students disagree. There was nothing confusing about it; we knew it was something that we had no control over or any power to challenge.

Anyone who made a fuss left the school and that person would then be ostracized. Rabbi Finkelstein, Rabbi Lamm, and the head of the boy’s school at the time, Rabbi Weinbach, who passed away in 2011, were all given the responsibility to protect their children. The only confusing part was why they allowed an institutional tendency to insulate and protect the rabbinate and individual rabbis was more valuable and important than the very kids they were put there to help nourish and grow.

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or many reasons, this was a sad week in our country. The obvious reasons loom over Newtown, Connecticut and words cannot express how sad and empty we all feel. There are no good answers when children are harmed, much worse killed. They are the most vulnerable among us and they look to us; they rely on those older, wiser and hopefully more reasoned to keep them safe and guide them into adulthood so that they can do the same. We have failed in so many ways.

When the school that I attended as a teenager was exposed in the ForJuda Engelmayer ward and then the New York Times this week for having allegedly covered up or somehow given passes to faculty misconduct toward the students, my heart dropped. This “great” institution of learning and Jewish continuity was shamed in public, and all of the memories I have as a young man came flooding in. My heart, however, did not drop for the disgrace Yeshiva University faces, it dropped because somehow I think that perhaps I might have been disgraced, too.

You see, I knew the stories of Rabbi Finkelstein all too well. People close to me were his targets; I also knew people who were chosen more often than others; I also knew that “everyone” at school knew it, too. Yet did I, did my friends, do all they could to call attention to it? Was it a 14, 15, 16, or 17 year old’s responsibility to that?

THE JEWISH STAR December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773

Opinion: No greater good than protecting and nurturing our young

December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 THE JEWISH STAR

6

Parshat Vayisgash

Hebrew only please!

Bringing the Children Along A

not-too-farfetched reading of the end of Chapter 45 can indicate that only one person intended to go down to Egypt to stay there. “… And bread and food for his father for the journey” (45:23).

“He saw the wagons Yosef had sent to carry him…” (45:27) “Israel said, ‘My son Yosef still lives: I will go and I will see him before I die.’” (45:28) It is particularly poignant that Yaakov/ Yisrael was the only one excited about the journey. He travels “with all that was his” to Beer Sheva, where he brought sacrifices.

(46:1) G-d promises to go down with him (specifically), and that He will take Yaakov up from Egypt. (46:34) Yaakov’s sons then make sure their wives Rabbi Avi Billet and children are on the wagons that were sent “to carry him.” (46:5).

The final indicators are in verses 6-7, when we see “They took their cattle and their possessions to come to Egypt: Yaakov and all his children with him.”

This is followed by “His sons, grandsons, daughters and granddaughters and all of his children – he brought with him to Egypt.”

Every pronoun is in the singular – about Yaakov.

Why did they not bring all of their belongings in 46:1? Why does it emphasize twice (in 46:6-7) that all his children were with him – first in the general sense, and then in the more specific – before listing them individually? Wouldn’t once be sufficient?

And why does it say “He brought them with him to Egypt?” Why did he have to bring them? Did they not go of their own accord?

The Or HaChaim explains that they were only going in order to accompany their father, and had no intention of staying in Egypt. But after the prophesy in Beer Sheva, they realized they were meant to go and stay there as well. Which is why they willingly and deliberately put their children on the wagons: if you’re going to go, you may as well go in style.

The Malbim further notes that the zodiac indicated there would eventually be enslavement, but that they personally would not be enslaved. For the shvatim (the individual tribes) themselves, there was nothing to worry about. But their children, destined to

be the first ones enslaved, exhibited hesitation. This is why Yaakov needed to “bring them.” Would you want to be dragged along for Grandpa’s joyride if he will die soon, leaving you to be enslaved? Didn’t think so.

Or HaChaim applies the same thought process to some of the Shvatim themselves – that they, too, didn’t want to go, but needed Yaakov to drag them against their will.

Being dragged along for the ride of someone else’s destiny is never easy. When adults get jobs that cause them to move, and their children are uprooted from the system and friendship circle they know so well, it can be traumatic. Those who make Aliyah to Israel are sometimes faced with this challenge with their children, especially with kids who were a little older by the time they make the move.

While any move nowadays is hardly comparable to the destiny of being enslaved for a few generations, the natural hesitation, fears, or just plain ambivalence that comes with the prospects of the move are real challenges that aren’t easily overcome.

The same is true of certain aspects of how we live. Some schools and parents are quite successful in inculcating a regimen of halakhic observance in their students and children.

Fathers who go to shul bring their kids to shul. Mothers who make prayer a fixture of their lives teach their children that prayer is important to us.

We teach our sons to wear tzitzis, even though the extra garment might not be preferred. We learn Torah in the home, even though a computer game or a toy or a book is more appealing right now.

At the Shabbos meal, the kids are present for the zemiros and the bentching. In fact, children learn to say their brachos before and after they eat, even though it isn’t “natural” to remember G-d all the time.

Children are given the opportunity to give tzedakah, to deduct a portion of their allowance. They see their parents write donation checks and understand that we do not keep for ourselves all the money we earn. There are people who are more needy.

If we volunteer at a soup kitchen, we bring our children along, when appropriate.

The fact is, while they are under our protective wings and care, our children share in our destiny – whether they like it or not. We don’t have the same opportunity that Yaakov’s descendants had, to have an inkling of what the future will bring. But we must bring our children along for the ride, because without proper Jewish living in the present, there will not be a Jewish future.

It’s cold and rainy! (but also for the enemy ...)

In April 1948, the fourth battalion of the Palmach captured the Monastery of San Simon in Jerusalem; that was the key to the Katamon neighborhood. The ferocious counterattack came two hours later; after several hours of fighting, the majority of the Jewish soldiers were killed or wounded, and they decided to retreat, leaving two men to blow up the building, together with the wounded, upon the entry of the enemy; to fall prisoner was to be tortured. At that moment, one of the wounded spoke up: “When it is cold and rainy, it is cold and rainy for the enemy, too.” The order was changed, and the rest is history...and this is possibly the lesson of Chanuka, that we just concluded....

By Rabbi Noam Himelstein

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Rabbi Noam Himelstein studied in Yeshivat Har Etzion and served in the Tanks Corps of the IDF. He has taught in yeshiva high schools, post-high school women’s seminaries, and headed the Torah MiTzion Kollel in Melbourne, Australia. He currently teaches at Yeshivat Orayta in Jerusalem, and lives with his wife and six children in Neve Daniel, Gush Etzion.

7

And you thought you knew geďŹ lte ďŹ sh H

ave you heard the one about how to tell the geďŹ lte from all the other ďŹ sh in the sea? Simple, it’s the one with the carrot on its head.....or what type of cigarettes do Jewish mothers smoke? GeďŹ ltered.... badam bam.

GeďŹ lte ďŹ sh, usually made from ground ďŹ sh, onions, and eggs, is a culinary delight as well as Jewish shtick for borsht belt comedians.

Created in Europe out of religious obligation and a ďŹ nancial dilemma, geďŹ lte ďŹ sh survived in America due to creative advertising and an American Jewish desire to experience faith through the stomach.

GeďŹ lte ďŹ sh, usually associated with the Shabbat meal, has been a Jewish custom dating back to the Talmudic Judy Joszef period. It has also been stated that some of the ancient sages thought of ďŹ sh as an aphrodisiac. They believed the intoxicating odor on the Sabbath table would encourage couples to “be fruitful and multiply.â€? The Hebrew word for ďŹ sh, dag, corresponds to the numerical value seven, which reects Hashem’s commandment, “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath unto the Lord.â€?

And here, you thought geďŹ lte ďŹ sh was just a recipe your mom’s great grandmother

came up with in Europe. Read on. It was actually a savvy solution to ďŹ nancial and halachic issues. Poor Jewish women in Eastern and Central Europe were able to feed their families with a small amount of inexpensive kosher ďŹ sh. They could also eat the ďŹ sh without violating the prohibition against removing bones on Shabbat.

The women skinned the ďŹ sh and ground the esh with inexpensive ingredients such as onions, eggs, and bread before stufďŹ ng the mixture back into the skin for baking, hence the name, geďŹ lte ďŹ sh; geďŹ lte is Yiddish for “stuffed.â€? Soon Jewish women stopped stuffing altogether and simply formed the mixture into balls for steaming or boiling.

Heard of the Mason-Dixon Line? The 49th parallel? There’s also the “geďŹ lte ďŹ sh line,â€? separating the Eastern European regions where Jews favored the sweet, from those who preferred the peppery varieties.The “geďŹ lte ďŹ sh lineâ€? ran through eastern Poland.

Jews living to the west, most of Poland, as well as Germany and the rest of Western Europe, ate the sweet geďŹ lte ďŹ sh. Those to the east, Lithuania, Latvia and Russia, ate the peppery version. Some enjoy geďŹ lte ďŹ sh swimming in a gelatinous sauce, while others, it is not too much of an exaggeration to say, would sooner eat their own intestines.

Most North Americans prefer their geďŹ lte ďŹ sh served with horseradish, while Latin American Jews cook the geďŹ lte ďŹ sh in tomato sauce. Some like mayonnaise as a dipping sauce; others enjoy it straight-up.

GeďŹ lte ďŹ sh is typically low carb, low fat, low saturated fat, high in protein, and con-

tains Omega 3.

When Jews arrived in America, they brought their geďŹ lte recipes with them. Jewish immigrant women spent full days shopping for, preparing, and cooking the geďŹ lte ďŹ sh. Then small businesses sprung up and, for not that much more money, geďŹ lte ďŹ sh could be bought, and more time could be spent either working or caring for the family.

When delis began to spring up, canned meals became available and ethnic food stands threatened the traditional Jewish food stores, the tight-knit kosher trade was in peril. TerriďŹ ed small business owners and religious leaders joined forces with observant advertising mavens to inspire manufacturers to produce and market kosher products. It was because of them that geďŹ lte ďŹ sh rose to fame in America and ensured itself as a symbol of American Judaism.

The modern kosher food industry began when Joshua C. Epstein and Joseph Jacobs, convinced H.J. Heinz and Maxwell House Coffee that the kosher market could yield signiďŹ cant proďŹ ts. By agreeing to kosher inspections, advertising in the Yiddish press, and designing innovative ad products like the famed Maxwell House Haggadah, American food companies found their way into the homes of upwardly mobile urban and, later, suburban Jews. By the end of the 1950s, the kosher industry had grown tenfold from 1945, with more than 1,800 kosher products.

By the 1950s, geďŹ lte ďŹ sh had become “the Jewish national dish,â€? according to The Jewish Home.

On October 20, 1954, the Jewish commu-

nity proudly celebrated the 300th anniversary of its arrival in America by serving geďŹ lte ďŹ sh to the guest of honor at a New York celebration, President Dwight D. Eisenhower, GeďŹ lte ďŹ sh has deďŹ nitely made a name for itself in the U.S. as well as Europe, but still Jackie Mason feels it doesn’t garner the respect it should. “We spend our whole lives going to Chinese restaurants, but do ever see two Chinese people asking where they can get a good piece of geďŹ lte ďŹ sh?â€?

Below ďŹ nd an interesting recipe for baked geďŹ lte ďŹ sh. Even those who hate geďŹ lte ďŹ sh have told me they love it.

Baked GeďŹ lte Fish Ingredients; â– 2 loaves frozen geďŹ lte ďŹ sh loaves, defrosted (I use Gourmet Glatt brand) â– 3 cubes Dorit crushed garlic (or 3 cloves crushed garlic), slightly sautĂŠed and drained of oil â– 1 small onion chopped, sautĂŠed till golden brown and strained of the oil â– 3 Tbs honey â– Âź tsp white or black ground pepper â– 1/3 tsp salt â– Canola oil for sautĂŠing Place defrosted ďŹ sh loaves in a bowl and add remaining ingredients Mix well and place in an 8 x 8 baking dish lightly greased Cover and bake for an hour and 15 minutes. Chill before slicing and serving. Top will look browned due to the honey.

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THE JEWISH STAR December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773

Who’s in the kitchen

December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 THE JEWISH STAR

8

THE JEWISH STAR December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773

571360

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DRS HS returns home five weeks after Sandy After 5 long weeks of being displaced from the DRS building following Hurricane Sandy, Students and Rabbeim joined together last Monday to dance their Sifrei Torah back into the DRS Aron Kodesh. DRS expresses tremendous Hakarot HaTov to Hakadosh

Baruch Hu for bringing them back into their building, as well as to HALB Executive Director Richie Hagler, and his trusted assistant, Chaim Hollander for all the hard work they put into the building as well!

Photo courtesy of DRSHS

Left to Right: Rabbi Elly Storch, Mr. Marc Gleitman, HALB Executive Director Mr. Richie Hagler, DRS Menahel Rabbi Yisroel Kaminetsky, Mr. Heshy Schertz, Mr. Shabsi Schreier

Personal attention in a warm environment - because WE CARE!

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December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 THE JEWISH STAR

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New Location!

Same Great Service.

11 THE JEWISH STAR December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 Photo courtesy of Tammy Mark

Jew in the City creator Allison Josephs poses with boxer Dimitriy Salita and The Maccabeats

Jewish Stars in the City

By Tammy Mark What do a U.S. Senator, a boxer, a Rhodes Scholar and an A Cappella group all have in common? They are a few of the Orthodox Jewish All Stars on the latest production from Jew in the City, and part of a successful mission.

Last Thursday night as we celebrated the sixth night of Chanukah, one particular Chanukah party brought a new level of much needed light to the world. In honor of the release of the latest video by “Jew in the City,” founder Allison Josephs rolled out the red carpet and welcomed her devoted fans to a special viewing of “Orthodox Jewish All Stars.” The star-studded video, featuring Senator Joseph Lieberman, recording artist Alex Clare, pro boxer Dmitriy Salita, bestselling author Faye Kellerman, A Cappella group The Maccabeats, producer and writer Jamie Geller, basketball player Tamir Goodman (“the Jewish Jordan”), comedian Mendy Pellin, Rhodes Scholar Miriam Rosenbaum and Supreme Court Clerk Rochelle Shoretz, received almost 40,000 views on You Tube in just four days.

The Maccabeats, owing their own fame to the holiday of Chanukah and the power of You Tube, were at the event in all their latkeflipping glory. With over seven million views of their music video “Candlelight,” their success took them on a world tour with a visit to the White House. Having spent most mornings and some evenings during the week of Chanukah on the talk show circuit, they stopped to spend Thursday night lighting the menorah with Jew in the City fans. Guests also had the chance to meet and hear from professional boxer Dmitriy Salita.

Held at Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, organized by Sarah Lasry of The Patchke Princess, the event was elegant and festive, with many sponsors coming together to support the unique outreach work of Jew in the City.

Five Towns resident “Azamra D.J.” Jeff Neckenoff provided the music and kept everyone entertained.

The driving force behind the Jew in the City enterprise is Allison Josephs. From a weekend in Toronto as Scholar-in Residence

to engaging the press on the red carpet, the mother of four never seems to slow down.

Modestly dressed and fashionably styled by Sharon Langert of Fashion-isha, Allison lit up as she greeted her fans and friends.

Allison’s success as an internet sensation did not in any way begin as a search for stardom. When Allison was just eight years old, a local tragedy rocked her innocent world and thrust her into an existential crisis. A school mate was killed by her father in a double murder-suicide. Allison began questioning everyone and everything about the meaning of life.

Frustrated by even her own parents’ lack of answers, she was more bothered by the fact that nobody else seemed concerned by the questions that plagued her inquisitive mind.

For so many years, she would question those around her to no avail. Although she grew up in a comfortable, traditional happy family, she never was able to rest her young mind from searching for something more. Her family was culturally Jewish, but Allison’s earliest associations with any Orthodox Jews was that they were “dirty, smelly, ignorant, can’t speak English.” This is the impression she received from the patients that were seen at her father’s medical practice.

At age 16, Allison took a class about Taoism and Ethics of the Fathers, for the Taoism.

It was there that Allison was formally introduced to the wisdom of the Torah and the beauty of her own heritage. She realized that the Torah was the treasure she was searching for, a gem that was clouded and hidden from so many people.

As Allison continued her studies, pursuing a philosophy degree at Columbia University, she grew in her learning and Torah observance. She would enlist random classmates to learn with her. A chance encounter with a reporter who had disturbing misconceptions about observant Jews made her realize how uninformed the world was. Allison’s life and purpose began to come further into focus as she honed in on her mission – to show others that Torah is a treasure. “We need to be able to show our gems and remove any blockades that cloud them,” says Allison.

Out of college, Allison spent several years working at outreach organizations such as

Partners in Torah and Sinai Retreats. She reached many people and touched many lives. She was even successful on the home front as her entire family became observant.

But still she knew she could do more. As the Internet brought the world closer together and You Tube democratized the media, Allison saw that she had the power to reach out to Jewish people worldwide. She observed how previously unknown people became Internet sensations and realized that this was to be her next step. She quit her two paying jobs to pursue her vision and about seven years ago, Jew in the City was born. “Extreme Makeover: Orthodox Edition” she calls it.

Writing, producing, directing and starring in all of her videos, Allison relies on her friend Elliot Gabor for the videography and other technical elements. Allison has created entertaining videos ranging from the significance of a married woman covering her hair, to the Jewish outlook on financial freedom, to the meaning of the ritual bath. All of the topics are covered in a friendly and fun way. She has received overwhelming positive feedback and amassed fans and followers from all over the world. Her most viewed video discussed the integration of science and Torah and featured her good friend, and learning partner, actress Mayim Bialik. That particular video, released last year, garnered well over 200,000 You Tube views. Keenly aware of how celebrity sells in modern society, Allison decided she could do even more to change the perception of Orthodox Jews if she could highlight some of the most successful and prominent ones.

Allison set her sights on securing her Orthodox all-stars. From pitching Senator Lieberman at the elevator leaving an awards dinner, to using every possible connection she could find to reach international recording artist Alex Clare, this latest endeavor has certainly taken her to places far and wide. Clare, who became Orthodox five years ago, is best known for his hit song “Too Close” which was featured on a commercial for Microsoft and spent 33 weeks on Billboard’s Top Ten list.

The most surreal moment according to Allison was definitely when she found herself waiting backstage at Clare’s concert to shoot him for the video. Clearly, Allison’s passion

and tenacity paid off.

One of her famous all-stars was on board from the start. Professional boxer Dmitriy Salita was initially introduced to Jew in the City by his wife Alona. Together, they have been fans of Allison’s work for a while. Feeling somewhat isolated in the world of pop culture, Dmitriy personally reached out to her a few years back. At the launch party the soft-spoken gentleman says the timing of this video release is significant and symbolic.

“The message of Chanukah is to spread light to the world. The value of the Internet is that you can reach so many people, even people without a community or shul. This is tremendous work and I’m honored to be in the first All Star video.”

While she’s already gotten many suggestions for the next All Star video (there are quite a few more actually), Allison feels the need to showcase the hidden stars now. The Satmar women, for example, who stock the hospitality rooms in hospitals and provide patients and their loved ones with kosher food and provisions without fail and without fanfare. She is truly determined to breakdown the negative stereotypes of all groups of Orthodox Jews.

Her ultimate vision is broader still. Allison would love to be able to do follow-up work with the fans who reach out to her. She has lots of other ideas she is hoping to see come to fruition. Her only obstacle is the funding to make it all happen. Other than her speaking engagements, Jew in the City is primarily self-funded and Allison relies on the network of sponsors.

Many of those sponsors are part of the amazing group of people that helped put the evening together. The event was all at once magical and grounded in reality and purpose at the same time. As the guests mingled inside, the Gift of Life Bone Marrow Foundation table was able to sign up 60 new names to their donor registry. While the red carpet and celebrity cache abounded, all in attendance understood that the message was not about self-promotion but spreading the light of Judaism throughout the Jewish community and to the world at large. Light is definitely something the world cannot have enough of right now.

December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773 THE JEWISH STAR

12

ON THE

Calendar Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to jscalendar@thejewishstar.com.

Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.

Dec 21–22 Lawrence Congregation Beth Sholom Scholar in Residence Rabbi Benjamin Blech Internationally recognized educator, religious leader, author & lecturer.

Talmud professor at Yeshiva University & Rabbi Emeritus of Young Israel of Oceanside.

7:45 p.m. Friday night Oneg at Congregation Beth Sholom: “The Sistine Secrets: Michelangelo’s Forbidden Messages” Shabbat AM: Drasha 4:15PM: “Confronting the Ultimate Crisis: A Rabbi’s Response” Congregation Beth Sholom is located at 390 Broadway Lawrence, New York 11559

Dec 30 Lawrence Congregation Beth Sholom Guest Speaker and Breakfast Elana Stein Hain Community Scholar, Lincoln Square Synagogue.

Adjunct Professor at NYU & has served on the Wexner Institute Faculty.

Currently completing her doctorate in religion at Columbia University.

“Honoring Parents: (Re)reading the Ten Commandments” Sponsored by the Hiller Family in memory of Susie & Leonard Hiller k”z & Sonia Hiller k”z

White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew received an honorary degree and delivered the keynote address at Yeshiva University’s 88th Annual Hanukkah Convocation and Dinner on Sunday, December 16. Honorary degrees were also conferred upon management consulting and investment banking executive Stanley Raskas; Moises Safra, a philanthropist and accomplished financier; and Holocaust survivor Diane Wasser.

In addition, the public phase of YU’s capital campaign,

Dec 31 Laugh” in the New Year with Kosher Komedy New Year’s Eve 2013 @ Backstage Please join us for an evening of great food, drinks and laughs featuring an All Star Lineup

“Mandate to Matter,” was announced at the dinner. To date the campaign has already raised nearly $800 million of its $1 billion goal during its quiet phase, enabling YU to increase financial assistance to deserving students, strengthen its faculty, research and academic programs, enhance the quality of student life, campus infrastructure, and community outreach. At the dinner, YU Trustee Ira Mitzner said that the campaign would expand to include an additional $400 million for undergraduate scholarships.

of the funniest & cleanest comedians as seen on The Tonight Show, Letterman, Craig Ferguson, VH1, E! and Comedy Central at the ONLY Comedy Club where the food and the comics are both KOSHER! Doors open for Dinner and Drinks at 7:30 p.m.

Showtime at 9:30 p.m.

Backstage is located at 948 Broadway, Woodmere, NY 11598 Reservations Required.

Dinner & Show Package $85.00 pp includes: Glatt Kosher Dinner, Comedy Show, 2 Drinks plus

From the hearths at Shaare Zedek “From Our Hearts to Your Home”, a new and exciting cookbook comprised of personal family recipes from board members, family and friends of Shaare Zedek is the “labor of love” of The Women’s Division of Shaare Zedek Medical Center. Bassie Gold, Vice President, Cookbook Chair, spear headed this project with the help of her committee, Pammy Salamon, Norma S. Hamburger, Nicole Wu, Susan Goldsmith, Paula Lev, Debbie Katz, Rose Friedman and Hudi Askowitz.

Well written, fun cookbooks are the gift du-jour and this cookbook is no exception.

The dedicated ladies of Shaare Zedek com-

pleted this monumental task in a few short months to guarantee availability for the gift buying season. Debbie Kestenbaum, President of the Shaare Zedek Women’s Division, is very excited about the completion of this cookbook, as it brings the wonderful work of the Women’s Division into everyone’s home.

The success of this project was cemented with over 200 pre-sale cookbooks sold. Foodies will appreciate the wide range of international recipes from all over the United States, Israel and Canada. Everything from bubby’s traditional chicken soup to homemade baba ganoush these incredible women have cre-

ated a cookbook worthy of even the most discerning cook!

For more information regarding the cookbook or the Women’s Division at Shaare Zedek, please contact Blimi Sigler at bsigler@ acsz.org or 212-764-8118.

(R) The cover of “From Our Hearts to Your Home”, a new and exciting cookbook comprised of personal family recipes

Champagne Toast at Midnight, DJ and Dancing after Show.

Proceeds from the show to benefit several local charities for victims of hurricane Sandy.

“Split The Pot” Raffle tickets available the night of the event!

For reservations or more information please call 516.983.7654 Email: KosherKomedy@Yahoo.com For a chance to win free tix!

Follow us on Twitter @KosherKomedy Like Kosher Komedy on Facebook

13

The Kosher Bookworm

The first book on Jews and Christmas in America Dr. Plaut attends to this chore with a skill that goes into great historical detail. He defines both the motives and the actions of the many generations of American Jews, dating from the very foundation of the republic to our own times, who were to face this societal challenge. Each immigrant generation’s response was different in their own unique manner.

While it is very detailed, the author’s smooth style immediately places the reader at ease, parsing all facts in clearly understandable form.

To this reader, a native of New York’s Lower East Side, any and all detail that contains geographic references to such locales as East Broadway and Henry Street, brings both a sense of warmth and sentimentality to the fact laden text. The shock comes when the author details the total nature of how assimilation was to envelop these newly arrived immigrants. Religious opinions, controversies and compromises in religious holiday decor and placement of Christmas trees brings to mind stories told to me so long ago from those in “der alte heim” who witnessed first hand the heartbreak of many over the conduct by so many others in matters that proved to be so urgent to the maintenance of community peace.

The two most pivotal chapters in this book, in this writer’s opinion, are the first chapter, “Coming to the New World: Can the American Jew Keep Christmas?” and the fifth chapter, “The Christmas Mitzvah: ‘Tis

the Season to Be Giving.” The first gives a detailed and comprehensive historical review of the whole issue of the interface of American Jews and the Christmas holiday experience. The second chapter noted deals with how American Jews, especially in the workplace, have come to help assist their Christian co-workers, neighbors and colleagues in their observance of their religious obligations. While not intended as such, in my opinion this chapter is a true demonstration, in many respects, of what defines and constitutes “Kiddush Hashem.”

I leave it to you, the reader, to further evaluate my take on this later point.

Dr. Plaut concludes this section by stating the following: “Jewish volunteerism on Christmas has certainly become an established American tradition through which Jews in America have made their presence known. During this joyous season – in which they are lauded by the American public for supporting the Christmas message of goodwill toward all people – they express and embody the national character of ‘neighbor helping neighbor’.” Dr. Plaut could have given his take a more refined turn by stating that the message of goodwill was, and still is, a Jewish concept that predates all others.

Given the sad history of the past, can you imagine such an observation of historical facts being made of the European Jewish experience during Christmas? Hardly!

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hristmas may not be universally accepted and observed by many Americans, however, it is America’s only national holiday founded on religious beliefs. Its hold on many, whether through its theological and biblical message or through its musical tradition is overpowering.

Thus, any literary work that seeks to analyze this unique festival from the perspective of those who do not accept its observance should prove to be most interesting. One such work is “A Kosher Christmas” by Joshua Eli Plaut [Rutgers University Press, 2012].

This work presents in a serious and academic format, laced with a good sense of humor, a full presentment of how American Jews came to adjust to either their observance or non-observance of this most glorious of Christian religious festivals.

Alan Jay Gerber In any discussion of this topic, the meaning of “assimilation” has to be taken into serious account. In all considerations, the American Jew’s self-image as both a Jew and as a newly minted American comes into serious play. The observance of Christmas by born Jews has to be considered in this perspective and all discussion has to be seen through both secular and religious prisms.

FOR FURTHER STUDY Several articles related to this topic have recently appeared that help in one way or another to further reinforce some of the impressions previously made.

The first was an interesting observation made by Rabbi Jason Miller on his blog entitled, Non-Jews Doing Hanukkah, wherein he notes how numerous entertainers have incorporated Hanukkah and otherwise Jewish motifs and themes into their acts and behavior at this time of year.

The Forward makes two recent references this past week, the first by Abigail Jones, entitled, “My Very Jewish Christmas: Celebrating Holiday Helped Family Assimilate in America” which gives a first hand, front row seat to what many of our fellow Jews face both in the past and present at this season.

The other essay by Benjamin Resnick is entitled, “Learning to Love Chrismukkah: Hanukkah’s History Suggest We Should Mix it Up”. Methinks that the mix up is more with Resnick and not with Hanukkah’s history.

After reading this piece I can only hope that someday Resnick will come to re-evaluate his observations and arrive at a firmer belief in the formidable strength of the Jewish faith.

Last is an essay penned in January 30, 1986 by Holocaust survivor Primo Levi, entitled, “Last Christmas of the War,” recently republished in The New York Review of Books.

This recall of his last months, before his liberation, in Monowitz, a part of Auschwitz, makes for fascinating reading by so gifted a writer and thinker. This heartfelt, sensitively written piece deserves your attention. Hopefully, this will lead you to read further and gain a deeper appreciation of the works of Primo Levi.

THE JEWISH STAR December 21, 2012 • 8 TEVET 5773

Such is the greatness of America and its people.

Finding your destiny

I

t should have been one of the most powerful and exciting days of my life; I can still see all the guys, in their dress uniforms, preparing for the final ceremony; instead, it was one of the most depressing. After eight of the longest, most grueling months I had ever experienced, I was three days away from receiving my officer’s bars. A month-long test (navigation, desert survival, weapons proficiency, etc.) to enter infantry officer trainFROM THE HEART ing, followed by nearly OF JERUSALEM four months of infantry officer’s training in the desert, best described as hell on earth, and then the most difficult four months I have ever experienced; tank officer’s course. Averaging three hours sleep a day for 18 weeks, under intense pressure; this was where tank commanders were trained by the IDF to become Rabbi Binny platoon leaders.

Freedman But three days before, I was told by the battalion commander, there wasn’t going to be any ceremony for me. I wasn’t ready, there would be no bars. I was out of the course.

They had given me every opportunity.

The company commander had reviewed one of my maneuvers himself, and even the battalion commander attended one of my maneuvers, just to be sure. The decision to fail a cadet so close to the end of the course was not taken lightly. But in the end, the responsibility of sending someone out to command a platoon of tanks in the field means only the best, and I just wasn’t ready.

Normally, once a person fails out of Officer’s course there is no second chance, but in my case, because there was no disciplinary measure involved (mostly it was about my struggle with Hebrew), I was told I could repeat the entire Tank officer’s course again, but I only had one week to think about it, as the next course was beginning in five days.

The depression, of watching all your buddies practicing for the final ceremony, as you head out into the desert to catch a ride back to civilization, is beyond description.

How does one make such a decision?

Should I head back to Yeshiva, and begin my studies to become a Rabbi? Could I accept having practically wasted a year of my life? I had given it my best shot. If I went back, was it really about serving my people, and the State of Israel, or was it just a big ego trip?

The Torah does not always give us the answers. If I want to decide whether to eat a piece of meat, or listen in on a conversation, Jewish tradition has very clear parameters as to what the acceptable norms of behavior are. But what if I can’t decide whether to be a doctor or a lawyer? Judaism does not tell me what to do. It will tell me how to ensure that I remain an ethical lawyer, but as to whether I actually become one, that is, in the end, all up to me. So how does one decide?? What if I am making the wrong decision?

Perhaps this question lies at the root of a rather strange exchange in this week’s portion, Vayigash. Yaakov, after 22 years of believing his beloved son Joseph dead, discovers he is alive, and has even become the second in command of Egypt, the mightiest empire on earth. No words could possibly do justice to what Yaakov must have felt at that moment. “ Vatechi Ruach Yaakov� “ And the spirit of Yaakov lived.� (Genesis 45:27) If your son has died, a part of you dies with him. A part of Yaakov has been dead for 22 years. Now, he is, in a sense, reborn.

“Yosef B’ni Chai, Elcha Ve’erenu be’terem Amutâ€? ‘My son Joseph lives! I will go and see him before I die.’“Vayisa Yisrael‌â€? ‘And Yisrael (Yaakov) journeys, with the entire family, (south towards Egypt, from the hills of Hebron), and arrives in Be’er Sheva, where he offers sacrifices (presumably of thanksgiving and gratitude) to “the G-d of his father Isaac.â€?

A long lost son and his beloved father will re-unite, and re-discover the love they thought lost forever. And then, G-d steps in.

(46:2-4)“ And G-d appeared to Yisrael (Yaakov) in the night saying ‘Yaakov, Yaakov.

And he (Yaakov) responded: ‘Hineni’ (Here I am).“And He (G-d) said: ‘I am the G-d of your father; do not fear going down to Egypt, for I will make of you there a great nation‌â€?

Why does G-d interject with this reassurance? It seemed obvious that Yaakov was quite ready to head down to Egypt.

And what is the meaning of G-d’s promise to make his offspring into a great nation in that place? Yaakov just wants to see his beloved long-lost son! And why does Yaakov offer sacrifices of thanksgiving ‘to the G-d of Yitzchak his father’? What of Abraham his father? And for that matter, why not just offer up to G-d? The key may lie with G-d’s calling to Yaakov in the night. ‘Yaakov, Yaakov. And he (Yaakov) responded: ‘Hineni’ (Here I am).

What does ‘here I am’ mean? What could possibly lie behind Yaakov telling G-d he is there? Obviously, G-d always knows where I am. The question is, do I know where I am?

Hineni is one of the most powerful words in the Torah, full of enormous potential. It is a word that does not refer to physical arrival, but to acceptance of a spiritual journey.

It is the word Abraham used in response to G-d’s request at the binding of Isaac (Genesis 22: 1) and the word Moshe responds with at the Burning Bush. Here I am; I am ready. Not only where I am, but why I am really here, and what it is all about. I am finally ready to be what I was meant to be.

It is a word Yaakov may well have learned from his father Yitzchak, who responds ‘Hineni’ to Yaakov, when, disguised as Esau; he is ready to be blessed. Yitzchak there (Genesis 27:18) understands that this is not just a blessing; it is the continuation of a journey. In fact, in many ways, Yitzchak’s entire purpose was to create Yaakov. Yitzchak, after all, has only one son who carries on the tradition. It will be Yaakov who will ultimately have the twelve sons that will form the Jewish people. So the word ‘Hineni’ may well signify Yitzchak’s recognition of the fact that passing on the blessings to Yaakov is really his mission and the reason he is in this world.

It is worth noting that after Yitzchak blesses Yaakov, he disappears from the scene.

The Biblical narrative shifts immediately to the story of Yaakov. Yitzchak, in the word Hineni, signifies that he understands and embraces this as his purpose in this world.

Perhaps in offering sacrifices to the G-d of Yitzchak, Yaakov is struggling to find his place in the continuation of the dream that will one day become the Jewish people.

Perhaps this was really Yaakov’s struggle.

Yaakov desperately wants to go down to Egypt to once again see his son Yosef. But he stops in Be’er Sheva. Is this, in the end, about Yaakov? Is this what I am meant to be doing?

Sometimes you stop and ask yourself: why am I really here? Is this what I am meant to be doing in this world? Often, the answer is not so simple. You can’t look it up or ‘ask the Rabbi.’ You have to ask yourself: where am I, really?

Perhaps this is why Yaakov is praying to the G-d of Yitzchak. Yitzchak, in the grip of famine, thinks to follow in the path of his father Abraham, and go down to Egypt. But

G-d tells Yitzchak not to go. (Genesis 26:2).

Yitzchak never leaves the land of Israel.

So is Yaakov ready to go back into exile?

It seems as if everything he has been building is now about to be undone. How will living in Egypt, the center of paganism in the ancient world, affect the children of Israel?

What this conversation represents, perhaps, is the struggle we sometimes have to ‘do the right thing.’ The willingness to do whatever it is G-d wants of me, if only I could figure out what that is.

The Vilna Gaon suggests (in his Even Sheleimah) that the struggle is trying to be sure that whatever I end up doing, is really for the right reasons. Ultimately, if I make the wrong decision, but I do it for the right reasons, it will end up being all right. But if I make the right decision, objectively, but for the wrong reasons, it will always end up wrong.

Four months later, having decided to go back and do tank officer’s school all over again, the right day finally came. And there is one moment that will stand out forever in my mind. It wasn’t the berets thrown in the air, nor the impressive tank parade, or even the special salute from the Chief of Staff of the Israeli Army.

It was a moment with Yuval Azulai. Yuval was a legend in the Officer’s corps. He was brilliant, and knew everything there was to know about tanks and armored warfare.

Laser technology, thermal imagery, shell trajectories, enemy weaponry; he knew it all.

Which was why he was one of the Officers responsible for training Officers in the Armored Corps.

A week into my repeat course he found me, late at night, working on my tank. He had heard I had come back, and wanted to

know what had made me do it all over again.

I thought Israel needed motivated officers, and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I should have tried. From that day, he took me under his wing. When everyone else was finally getting their two or three hours sleep, he would pull me aside and quiz me brutally on everything we were learning. He demanded excellence, and told me he would make sure I didn’t fail again. He took it as his personal mission to ensure that I became what an Officer was meant to be.

He absolutely terrorized me, and I dreaded his surprise arrivals. One day he took over our platoon’s maneuvers so he could personally oversee mine and rip it to shreds. By the time our final exams arrived at the end of the course, they were a breeze.

And on the day of the ceremony, fresh bars on my shoulders, before the traditional slam on the back, he asked me: “So, how does it feel now that you’ve become an Officer?�

I smiled: ‘It feels pretty darned good.’ And he looked at me and said: “You don’t get it at all. You aren’t even close to becoming an Officer. Being an officer isn’t about the training. That’s just the introduction. The real question is, can you become the man whose men will follow him anywhere, even up a hill under fire?�

And he walked away. And I finally got it.

Yaakov wanted to be sure that it wasn’t about Yaakov. That is our greatest challenge: To be sure, in all that we do, that it isn’t about me, but about everyone else, which is really why we are all here to begin with.

May Hashem bless us all, as individuals, and as a people, to experience the joy of discovering what we are really meant to do in this world, and to find the strength to go and do it, for all the right reasons.

Shabbat Shalom, Rav Binny Freedman

HAPPY CHANUKAH!

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