The Jungle Drums - April 2009 by TKO UK

photography & design MARK WELTON www.foto23.info

this month 4/5 POLICE different colours...

‘Weather to bother’

7 CYCLING

different colours...

9 ANDREA...

rental contracts...

I was in a bar and watching the Spanish weather

11 TONY MAYES

forecast with a Spanish friend when he launched

life in the UK...

into a (very) foul-mouthed tirade about Spanish

17 CONFUSIONS

a tea bag is a tea bag

weather forecasters and how they always get

17 NATURE

it wrong. He has a point. The Spanish weather

fluffy things with feathers...

forecasts are not the best in the world and with

19 SANTA POLA...

the guy (or girl) standing in front of half of Spain,

he’s off agin...

THE BIRDMAN OF ALTABIX Now, Brian Conduit, who most of you will know has been writing the JD Nature page for the past five years or so, is in hospital for a head transplant, or something. We wish him the best and hope he’s back to work soon as the rest of us know sod all about wildlife. His (other) problem is that being a

blocking it off to half the population, they don’t

birdwatcher, Brain can’t see many birds from his

really help themselves. ‘Look at it!’ he shouted

window – the closest he’s got was when I dropped

24 LA MARINA...

above the TV, the stereo, the clientele, and the

my chicken nuggets and we had to get matron to

do you speak LMB...?

other telly, ‘they always say that every day is

take his binoculars off him on that occasion. I even

24/5 COMPUTERS...

gonna be da bloody same! In England they tell

offered to take up my washing to dry it outside his

bluemoon...naked...

you it is gonna rain at bloody half-past two,

window, as I can guarantee that within minutes of me

31 MOTORING IN SPAIN

and it does!’ I didn’t have the heart to remind

putting it out there, there’ll be hundreds of the little

23 GRAN ALACANT... life on the hill..

get it sorted...

him that this is Spain and it usually is the same

34/5 SPORT... energetic stuff...

weather, most of the time.

36/37 LIVING LIFE...

As it turned out, it is (apparently) Zapatero’s

feel better and smile...

and Franco’s combined fault that the weather

39 HOROSCOPES...

was wrong and the weatherman was ‘son of a

the only accurate ones in the world......

bitch’. Whether it turns out to be right or wrong, you just feel better after a Spanish forecast

40/1 PUZZLES...

b******s relieving themselves on it… but now I hear he’s started people-watching which, surely must be far more interesting. Especially as he now has more foot traffic than Jordan’s hallway carpet. But, to make an old man happy, if anyone can spare the time - and feels comfortable dressed as the RoadRunner - it would be much appreciated by Brian if you could make a few passes of the window to room 305

if you is smart try these fings...

than you do a British one. Theirs leaves you

42 WHAT’S ON...

looking forward to a barbecue or the beach at the

also become the official outlet for

weekend. Ours will tell us how long we can spend

Jungle Drums in Elche hospital

you say what you think...

outside before we catch some form of skin diease

so at least you know

33 LA MARINA...

or whether hay fever sufferers should even

where to get one…

bother getting up…

cheep…

get up and out and busy...

43 LETTERS...

urb news and events...

Avda. Escandinavia, Gran Alacant

(ooposite policia local & and much much more health centre)

in Elche hospital, and, by the way, he’s

Alternatives & Shopping

Tel: 966 697 972

www.aisakia.com

Email: theoriente@yahoo.es

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If you’re going to get nicked, you might as well know who by.

commonly in our neighbourhood and it is they

and that was able to patrol large areas of the

who deal with very minor things and with traffic

countryside. Its members, called ‘guardias’,

movement in towns.

maintain to this date a basic patrol unit formed

The Local(or municipal) police are attached to

by two agents, usually called a “pareja” (a pair),

local town halls in towns with a population of

in which one of the ‘guardias’ will initiate the

over 5,000. They wear blue uniforms with white-

intervention while the second ‘guardia’ serves as

chequered bands on their hats and sleeves,

a backup to the first one.

and usually patrol in white or blue cars...and

Today the Guardia Civil is still a police force

This country seems to have more variations

they’ve got guns. These coppers will deal with

subject to the checks and supervision expected

of coppers than the royal mint. Who are they?

minor crime such as traffic control, protection of

in a democratic society. Morevoer, the guardias’

What do they do? And why? Well, JD has been

property, civil disturbances and the enforcement

proven effectiveness throughout history, whether

investigating the investigators and come up with

of municipal laws. In large cities, municipal police

in controlling banditry or in addressing the

some answers, and a little bit of their history, to

often have multilingual offices and some towns

subsequent challenges and tasks given them,

explain who it is that cruises the highways of this

have mounted police. They’re the said to be the

meant that additional tasks have been added

rather nice piece of turf that we’ve decided to

most sympathetic Spanish police force...although

regularly to their job description.

help occupy.

seeing them in jack boots, overalls and with a

The Civil Guard has been involved in work as

sub-machine gun I think they can be anything

peacekeepers in United Nations sponsored

The main enforcers of public order and security

they want… In resort areas, the local police

operations, including in Bosnia and Herzegovina,

as of 1988 were the Civil Guard and the National

sometimes speak English and during the summer

Angola, Congo, Nicaragua, Haiti, East Timor

Police Corps (Cuerpo Nacional de Policia). The

spend most of their time dealing with drunken

and El Salvador. They served with the Spanish

Civil Guard, fortified by nearly a century and

tourists. On-the-spot fines are imposed for a

contingent in the war in Iraq, mainly in

a half of tradition, was a highly disciplined

range of offences.

intelligence gathering, and they lost seven

paramilitary body with close links to the army.

‘números’. In addition to el instituto armado (“the

As it evolved, it served mainly as a rural police

THE BOYS IN GREEN

to protect property and order and to reinforce

The Civil Guard was founded in 1844 during the

as la benemérita (“the good-deserving”). They

the authority of the central government.

reign of Queen Isabel II of Spain by the Basque

served in the Spanish colonies, including Cuba,

Under Franco, a tripartite system of police was

Navarrese aristocrat Francisco Javier Girón y

Puerto Rico, the Philippines and Morocco.

formalized: the Civil Guard in rural areas; the

Ezpeleta, second Duke of Ahumada although

The Guardia Civil has a sister force in Costa Rica

Armed and Traffic Police (renamed the National

the first academy of “guardias civiles” was

also called the Guardia Civil. The Costa Rican

Police in 1979), which fulfilled normal police

established in the town of Valdemoro, south of

‘guardias’ often train at the same academy as

functions in communities with a population

Madrid, in 1855.

regular Spanish officers.

of more than 20,000; and the Higher Police

The Guardia Civil’s first job was to restore and

Corps of plainclothes police with responsibility

maintain security in the Spanish countryside

Characteristics

for investigating crimes and political offenses.

because at the end of the First Carlist War the

They typically patrol in pairs.

Separate municipal police forces under the

Spanish landscape had been left scarred by the

Their traditional hat is the tricornio, originally

control of local mayors were concerned mainly

destruction of civil war, so the government moved

a tricorne, which looks like someone has bent

with traffic control and with enforcement of local

fast to prevent the increasing danger of banditry

an old LP and stuck it on their head – original

ordinances.

and rebellion in rural areas. Based on the

though…. Its use now is reserved to parades or

So who are they?

model of light infantry used by Napoleon in his

ceremonies, being now substituted by a cap, a

European campaigns, the Guardia Civil was born

beret or the characteristic “gorra teresiana”[1].

as a police force with high mobility that could be

Members of the Guardia Civil often live in

deployed irrespective of inhospitable conditions

garrisons (casa-cuartel) with their families.

THE BOYS IN BLUE Firstly they guys and gals that we see most

armed institution”, the Guardia Civil is known

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Since the Guardia Civil must accommodate the

‘guardias’ had a mythical (negative) reputation

they are not provided as part of the normal

families of its “guardias”, it was the first police

in literature and in popular history. Some of

service.

force in Europe that accommodated a same-sex

the poems of Federico García Lorca, especially

partner in a military installation.

the world-famous Gypsy Ballads, portray the

Duties

The symbol of the Guardia Civil consists of the

‘guardias civiles’ as the natural enemies of

1. The issuing of identity documents - ID cards

Royal Crown of Spain, a sword and a fasces. The

both gypsies and marginal figures including the

and passports.

different units have variations of this symbol.

against anarchists that were popular in rural

2. To control receipts and outgoings of the foreign

Today, they are primarily responsible for policing

areas of southern Spain. Lorca’s poems have

people and Spaniards.

and/or safety regarding the following (but not

contributed to the Civil’s traditional reputation as

3. Immigration law, refuge and asylum,

limited to) areas and/or safety related issues

a heavy-handed police force.

extradition and expulsion.

(given in no special order):

THE OTHER BOYS IN BLUE

4. Gaming enforcement 5. Drug enforcement

- highway patrol,

The national police replaced the despised armed

6. Collaborattion with Interpol and Europol.

- counter drugs operations,

police (policía armada). The policía armada were

7. Control of private security companies

- anti-smuggling operations,

much hated and feared, but the national police

8. General law enforcement

- customs and ports of entry control,

are now ‘quite popular’ as far as the old bill can

- safety of prisons and safeguarding of prisoners,

be anyway. They’re stationed in towns with a

- weapons licenses and arms control,

population of over 20,000 and deal with serious

- Born or naturalized Spanish

- security of border areas,

crime such as theft, rape and muggings, and are

- Between 18 and 30 years old

- bomb squad and explosives,

also used to control demonstrations and crowds.

- At least 1.65 meters tall (for men), and 1.60

- security in rural areas and in locations with less

Other duties include guarding embassies, railway

than 10,000 inhabitants,

stations, post offices and army barracks in

Requirements

metres for women - Not to have been a convicted of fraud or

-anti-terrorism;

most towns and cities, when they’re armed with

dismissed by the state, autonomous or local

- coast guard,

submachine guns. The national police are housed

governments, or prevented from holding public

- police deployments abroad (embassies);

in a police station (comisaría de policía), many of

functions.

- intelligence and counter-intelligence gathering,

which have a foreigners (extranjeros) department

cyber- and internet crime;

dealing with matters such as residence permits.

- Hold a driving licence of the class specified by the government.

- hunting permits and

There are also plain clothes policemen (cuerpo

- environmental law enforcement.

superior de policía) in urban areas.Where the

So that’s it a concise guide to the old bill in spain.

Guardia are, policia nacional will usually not be,

Next time you’re sitting in a lay bye - awaiting

A different issue is the heavy-handedness used

there is a strange law here that prevents them

the policeman whose lights still fill the rearview

by the ‘guardias’. For a long time the Guardias

being in the same place (we call it a restraining

mirror – at least you’ll know who it is who is

were feared because of their excesses, great

order ‘round here…). Policia Nacional also deal

handing over the fine. Although as we stated the

power and authority in rural areas, and for what

with immigrant paper work and the registration

National Police and the Guardia

seemed to be a total lack of accountability for

of foerigners for things like the NIE or fiscal

are never in the same place

their actions. The fact that they covered mostly

number and residencia application paperwork

at the same time…could it be

rural and isolated parts of the country allowed

If you were mugged in Spain, you would report

there is only one force

for this lack of accountability. At the end of the

it to either the Policia Local or the Guardia

after all…?

nineteenth century, the Guardia Civil conducted a

and you would be asked to make a denouncia,

campaign against Andalusian anarchists (Spain),

which translates to ‘report’ and you’d probably

accusing them of being members of the secret

(definitely if you want to get away before

society The Black Hand. For this reason the

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Fiscal help... RENTAL CONTRACTS Due to the current financial climate and the

property are a couple of hazards. As a guar-

sales slump in the property market for a

antee against the latter, the law establishes

considerable number of non-resident home-

the landlord’s right to a deposit. It consists of

owners rentals are the obvious way to get a

one month’s rent for a residential property and

revenue and have gone up accordingly. Here I

two months’ rent for commercial premises.

am going to give you some information to take

In practice tenants tend to think that they no

into consideration.

longer have to pay for the last month because

andrea burns

Tax &

Legal Services SPANISH WILLS CONVEYANCES

they left said one month’s deposit. This is abThe current Law of Urban Lettings provides

solutely wrong and against the law. You need

that residential contracts are subjet to yearly

it also as a safeguard for electric and water

renewals up to five years. If your rental con-

bills that always arrive late.

tract is made for one year the law requires that the contract is renewable for a total five-year

BUT…even though you sign a rental contract

period. The rent is usually revised annually

between landlord and tenant in which such

and increased by the cost of living published

conditions are stipulated there is of course no

by the authorities each year. At the end of the

guarantee that your tenant is going to fulfill all

five years, the landlord can raise the rent as

those. It is very common that tenants do not

much as he wishes, either for a new tenant or

stay the full term for which they have signed

for his existing one.

the contract. If this occurs due to their lack of finances (although the reasons given may

Since such long-term lets with all the implica-

differ) be prepared just to let them go. There

tions of eviction problems are usually not the

is no point in taking legal action in order to

best option for foreign property owners the

force a tenant to stay for the contracted period

alternative sought by most is the holiday rental

if they cannot pay the rent anyway. And even

which has separate rules. These short-term

less if you have pocketed the rental income

rental contracts called arrienda de temporada

without fulfilling your own obligation, that is

or contrato de temporada do not grant the

paying the taxman his share.

tenant any right to automatic extension. The tenant has to vacate the property when the

So finally we have the tax implications. Only

contract ends. Usually these contracts are

resident landlords have reductions on rental

made for any short-term period up to a maxi-

income and can also deduct a whole range of

mum of eleven months.

expenses. Non-resident have absolutely no

INHERITANCES CONSULATIONS WEALTH & INCOME TAX DECLARATIONS LEGAL TRANSLATIONS INTERPRETER SERVICE FISCAL REPRESENTATIVE TAX ADVICE

reduction or deduction at all and declare their I am sure it is no news for you that even these

rental income on a special tax form that has

holiday rentals have their pitfalls. Choose

to be presented and paid on a monthly basis,

your tenants carefully! Nonfulfillment of the

with a tax of 25 % on your rental income from

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It’s often crossed my mind during my career in journalism..

By Tony Mayes

Last week, Scotland abolished car parking charges at NHS

bargain.

hospital car parks. Previously, Wales abolished prescription

Government and councils must bear

charges and has announced it intends to abolish car parking

their fair share of the pain this recession is

charges in 2011.

going to cause and it is wrong for them to continue their spend,

That leaves us in England forking out bucket-loads of money if

spend,spend ways. All it does is put up taxes, now or in future.

we want to visit hospitals or need a presciption and do not fall

Take, for instance, an example offered by the TaxPayers’ Alliance

into an exempt category.

of the way some councils have been

It’s no wonder that people living in

adding to their payrolls by creating

villages near the Welsh border want

useless non-jobs.

to become part of Wales, and the

How would you like to be a com-

likes of Carlisle want the Scottish

munity space challenge co-ordinator

border to the moved south.

with a salary of £33,777? I bet you

Come to think of it, perhaps we

would. No, it’s not working on the

should become part of Spain - re-

next space flight of the Challenger.

ducing our council tax from around

It’s all about engaging young people

£1,100 to £300pa has some merit!

at risk of offending by helping them

Car parking charges in England’s

develop their environmental aware-

hospitals are nothing more than

ness and deliver exciting projects

an additional tax and us, targeted

within the community.

on sickness. Cancer patients, for

I don’t think I would be really cut

example, need regular hospital visits

out for this job. I don’t think my

for treatment and car parking over

sympathies would be channelled in

a year can cost several hundreds of

the right direction. I think a tough

pounds.

ex-sergeant major might be the right

This is totally unfair. I would refer to

person to “develop the environmen-

a pompous statement on the issue

tal awareness” by deliving a kick up

from the Department of Health from

their backsides.

this dreadful government, stating: “We do not think it a sensible use

The leading clergy in Britain have

of limited resources to subsidise car

embarked on mass criticism of the

parking at hospitals for everyone.

Labour government over the past

Our priority is the safety and speed

few weeks. They have accused Labour of “in-

of health care.” Now isn’t that a good one? Is this government spokesman

vesting hopes in a project which was bound to disappoint – the

seriously suggesting that “safety and speed of health care” is

project of growth without limit without any end in view”.

grossly compromised in Scotland and Wales? If that’s the case,

Other clergy have accused the party of being “beguiled by mon-

then let’s have a proper examination of the facts.

ey” and “morally corrupt” and it had “reneged on its promises”. The government was also accused of squandering their oppor-

At a time when hundreds of thousands of people are being

tunity to transform society and has run out of steam, sacrificing

thrown out of work due to the recession, just consider those

principled politics and long-term solutions for policies designed

lucky people who work in town halls or government. They’re not

to win votes.

only virtually immune and have nice, cosy retirement packages,

And Dr Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, has said

they have actually been earning more than their counterparts in

increasing public spending in recession was like an “addict re-

the private sector.

turning to the drug”.

Research by the right-wing TaxPayers’ Alliance has shown that

And another leading figure has said:”It is becoming clearer how

while the average pay in private companies was £20,715 in

far we have been mortgaging our children’s tomorrow to fund

2008, in the public sector was £21,413.

our today, both financially and in our use of the finite resources

It’s often crossed my mind during my career in journalism, what

of the earth.”

on earth I have been doing working with the stresses that exist

A few decades ago such concerted criticism of a government by

producing newspapers, week in, week out, when I could have a

the church would have quickly led to the downfall of that gov-

cushy little number writing endless press releases working in a

ernment. Perhaps sadly, today it does not wield such influence.

council or government office, and getting more money into the

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opping into

what is commonly

the local ‘trendy’ café bar used

known

to be a simple affair; the usual

bird

arrangement of coffees a wide

‘Trill’. Now these teas

choice of booze but if you’ve

have magical powers and

been lately you’ll notice that

will stimulate your mind, open

portion

anyone who actually is trendy

up your breathing passages and

of milk. Slap a bacon butty down

is supping tea. Now before you

make you regular along with

next to it and you’ve got a proper

start thinking that PG Tips is the

many other benefits helping you

English tea with the appropriate

new ‘black’ and that you’re ob-

relax in your trendy bar, unless

accompaniment instead of Earl

viously right up to date as your

your passages have opened up a

Grey which tastes like someone

cupboard is full of catering bags

bit too keenly…

has dropped a dandelion in it to

of the stuff, stop. For this isn’t

They are called ‘teas of the world’

soak…for several days.

tea as you and I know it this is

with certain countries offering up

No, give me a good old English

an ‘infusion.’

differing variations, for example

cuppa anytime. ‘Tropical Sunrise’

Behind the bar you’ll see the ‘Jar-

the English tea is Earl Grey but

may well relax me and help me

din Del Te,’ or a shelf as you and

I’ve yet to meet anyone from

breathe and ‘Midnight Sunset’

I know it, brimming with attrac-

England who actually drinks the

may aid my digestive system.

tive containers that contain, what

stuff apart from our photogra-

But when I was little I had simi-

looks

pher who comes from Manches-

lar tasting stuff to this which did

ter so that doesn’t count. It

exactly the same as an infusion,

should be PG in there when

but for a quarter of the price…

they open the fancy tin. Im-

we called it medicine…

amongst

fanciers

agine the look on some poor Yuppies face as he sees a tea bag dropped into a cup with two big lumps ofsugar and

god

WAITING FOR GOD ‘O by Brian Conduit

CI A

L UA Q

ctr

Ele ical Se W C IFIED ELECTRI rvic

Two or three months ago I was having trouble swallowing. I put it down to maybe an oversized olive,

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Isabel has also worked out that if you pull out the plug

or a sweet and sour prawn ball, gobbled down too

of the TV and put it straight back in, you get another

quickly before anyone else could grab it. Turns out

20 hrs free before you have to pay another 4€, ( typical

it’s a Tumour, caused probably by all those Marlboro I

Spanish ingenuity ).

smoked many years ago, ( John Wayne’s really got a lot

Fans Fitted

was the visitor.

As you can imagine, I have a bit of time on my hands

to answer for ).

while they ponder my problem, so I got to thinking

Anyway, here I am in Elche Hospital, awaiting my fate

about all the different members of staff that I’ve seen

as they say, but it’s not all doom and gloom, as the rest

in the 12 days or so I’ve been here. I got up to 30 and

of this missive will, I hope prove.

stopped counting. 30 different people, all doing their bit

Firstly, I can’t eat or drink anything at all, which poses

to make me well again. From the surgeon and doctors,

one or two problems, especially to someone like me

all the nurses, ( and there a lot of them ), scanner

who thinks that eating is one of the great pleasures of

technicians ,cleaners and ambulance drivers. I owe

life.

these people a huge debt of thanks, and I’ll do my best

So they feed me through a tube with a white liquid

not to let them down.

which gives me all the nourishment I need. But It’s

You Need Friends.

not the same, as I can’t taste it, ( just as well ).Also

Bird watching from my hospital window has only

a number of my visitors will insist on telling me what

turned up a few Sparrows, A pigeon and a very lost

they had for dinner last night, and what they are having

Grey Heron, so I’ve started keeping a list of all the

tomorrow, and would I like some grapes, (very funny).

visitors I’ve had, and how many times they’ve been

So, to take my mind off food, I glance up at the TV

to see me. It’s quite amazing, I didn’t know I knew so

and see a commercial for Pizza, or there’s a cookery

many people, never mind having them visit me, ( they

program on.

obviously haven’t seen my will )

Anyway, the thing is, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I

Have you noticed, everyone wants to bring you

don’t eat, and I don’t go out with women, but I make

something, but not grapes in my case. Someone who

all my own dresses. Keeping your pecker up has a

shall be nameless brought me a 500 piece jigsaw, and

whole new meaning in here.

I told her to change it for a 250 piece, just in case I

I’m in a room for two, (not bad for a NHS hospital),

don’t have time to finish it, ( humour is the way I’m

and my roommate Antonio has his wife Isabel with

dealing with this ) The time goes by quickly with visitors

him 24-7, and they usually change places in the night

coming and going every morning and afternoon, and I’d

and he ends up on the relaxer chair with her in the

like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, (you

bed. Now, the first nurse in the morning is taking

know who you are ), because without you all it would be

temperatures, so she bustles in, and seeing a shape in

all too easy to descend into despair. So my battle with

the bed, stuffed the thermometer straight into Isabel’s

this goes on, in fact when my bed side phone rings, I’m

ear by mistake. I have to say, that one look at Antonio

liable to say “ War Office, who wants a fight”

would have told the nurse who was the patient and who

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“ Winter has gone, and Summer is here, and the Boid is on the wing, But that is absoid, Because the wing is on the Boid” by Brian Conduit

At about this time of the year, my old Grand-

repellent, and one of the best on the market is a

to the San Felipe reserve. A newly opened walk

product called GOBI,. It has a pleasant smell and

gave us good views of Moustached warbler, and

is notsticky. You can get itin any chemist.Snakes

a magic moment when 26 Cranes flew overhead

and scorpions show their faces as soon as the

and landed in a nearby field.

temperature climbs, and turning over large rocks

We were all looking forward to our lunch with

can usually uncover a scorpion or two. The brown

Colin and Jane at Finca bonelli’s Eagle, and they

scorpion found here in Spain, although giving

didn’t let us down, with a great meal in the sun-

you a nasty nip, is no way life threatening .The

shine on their terrace. Then the Eagles appeared,

largest snake is a Bastarda, which can be up to 2

with the male perching on a ledge, and the

metres in length, and I had a skin once that was

female standing up on the nest, taking a short

over that.

rest from incubating her two eggs. A club mem-

So let’s look forward to a nice warm summer,

ber was heard to say, “Where else could you,

free of these nasties, and a large increase in the

in-between courses, jump up and watch Bonelli’s

pound euro exchange rate.

Eagles on their nest”.

dad used to say to me in his broad Hampshire

A great day out, and I can recommend Colin and

accent,

COSTA BLANCA BIRD CLUB

Jane’s finca for a meal, dinner or overnight stays,

“ Winter has gone, and Summer is here,

Probably the most popular of our trips, is the one

at very reasonable rates.

and the Boid is on the wing,

where we end up at Crevillente at the Bonelli’s

Aprils field trip is on Wed 15th and will take in

But that is absoid,

eagle nest site. 27 of us set off on a bright sunny

the Sierra Espuña and the steppe area of the

Because the wing is on the Boid”.

Thursday morning, for once not stopping on the

Guadalentil. Please call me on 966690497 or e

This is a great time of the year, when we can

Salinas, but working our way across the Vista-

mail me at briancsantap@yahoo.co.uk for more

look forward to warm summer days, and balmy

bella fields birding from the vehicles. Buzzard,

info. On Thursday the 9th April, I will be in the

nights, cold beer, sangria and barbecues.

Booted eagle, Kestrel and 4 Magpies, (quite

new hide on the Clot de Galveney in the morning

As usual there’s always a down side to every-

unusual here), kept our list of species growing.

at about 11 00 am if anyone would like to come

thing, and this time of the year is no exception.

An early Swallow was seen, along with a number

along and say hello

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but April is

of warblers, and 5 or 6 large raptors far off in the

the month for the proccesionary Caterpillars to

distance that were probably buzzards and booted

come crawling down from their silvery spun nests

eagles.

high up in the pine trees. As their name implies,

We spent a very pleasant 45 mins or so at the

they travel along in a line, nose to tail, and the

back gate of El Hondo, Watching a superb

line can be up to a metre in length. These crea-

Booted Eagle perched in a nearby euca-

tures must not be touched, as the hairs on their

lyptus tree, and all the

bodies contain a toxin which will bring you out

telescopes were kept

in a nasty rash. Those of you with dogs need to

busy with 27 pairs of

extra vigilant, as some dogs have been known to

eyes feasting on this

die after sniffing these strange caterpillars.

wonderful bird. A

Mosquito’s are always a pain in the summer

Kingfisher per-

months, particularly near water. I’ve found that

formed for us as

rather than wait until you’ve been bitten, use a

we made our way

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s ’ n l Co i

conspiricy

guide to...

SANTA POLA

YOU CAN’T PULL THE WOLF OVER MY EYES...

for wind surfing which is being held here in Santa Pola from the 09/09/2009

Well, like the little lost boy my mind is a blank this month; my usual source

Still searching and not a lot being shown I am afraid except the usual public-

seems to have dried up. Because when I visited the GA centre there was

ity for bars and hotels, so it looks like this month’s article will be a bit short

no newspapers left which contain all the facts and information I use to write

and not my usual ‘editor’s nightmare’ of trying to keep within a certain num-

this column. It’s written in Spanish and I just pick out the articles that are rel-

ber of words which for me is an impossibility as anyone who knows me will

evant, translate them and re write them. Now, while were at it would whoever

testify that once I start talking I don’t know when to stop and its the same

borrowed a set of jumper leads off me please return them as I cant remem-

with my literary skills. (With you there Colin…ED). Well anyway have a nice

ber who you are…thank you in anticipation for returning them.

month till next time and if you’re having a fete or anything please let me

Now the next subject on everyone’s minds of late is this promise of a golf

know so I can write about it and get you some free publicity.

course, or rather lack of one so far and just rumours. Well, sorry but I have been here 23 yrs and their still isn’t one, just lots of hot air and whitewash. Yes plans have been made and no doubt passed by the local council and even looked into by the valencian government. But here is an imaginary scenario which is purely a hypothetical scenario, (if anyone is understanding any of this please write in and tell me…ED). Just supposing you owned a big shop in a small town and a big chain want-

till the 19/09/2009 firstly there is the Spanish championship then the following week the world championship.

cOLIN’S

be stacked in a small area right next to the

cORNER

cannon. There was

eDUCATIONAL

CANNON BALLS !!!

only one problem -how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under

tracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. consequently,

when

temperature

the

dropped too far, the indentations brass

the others.

would shrink so much

The solution was a metal plate with 16

iron

shoppers out of the town centre and into their store. But you were able to

of cannon balls near the cannon on old war

keep putting back planning permission because you had a member of your

ships. But how to

round

indentations,

family in a high government position. We’ll say no more about the proposed

prevent

called,

for

ed to open one of their shops on a out of town site with all the usual fringe things like car parks, cinema, and whatever else they could offer to entice

golf course in Santa Pola, but what you will no doubt get, and you can quote me on this, is more houses and roads with the inevitable building of more units for bars. Golf course? now that’s another entity and what do we want a golf course for when we have El Plantio golf course just behind the airport which is only a short distance away by car, excellent facilities and its owned by the prime minister’s cousin…now how bad is that for all you golf loving friendly people. Well, as I am sitting here writing this article I am trying the internet for up-

It was necessary to keep a good supply

them

from

that the

reasons

rolling about the deck was the problem. The

unknown, a Monkey.

best storage method devised was to stack

this plate were made of iron, the iron balls

But if

them as a square based pyramid, with

would quickly rust to it. The solution to the

one ball on top, resting on four, resting on

rusting

in Santa Pola del Este short and long term rentals available

Apartments to rent

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balls

the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that was just a vulgar expression, didn’t you? You must send this fabulous bit

nine, which rested on

problem was to make them of brass - hence,

sixteen.

Brass Monkeys.

of historical

Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could

Few landlubbers realize that brass con-

a few friends.

coming fiestas and whatever in Santa Pola but I am not finding much in the way of information. The only thing showing so far is the world championship

cannon

would come right off

knowledge to at least

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JUANI SORIANO PSOE Councilor in Santa Pola

During the month of March 2009 there have been several complaints from residents about the graffiti which has been appeared on private buildings in Santa Pola – one of the areas in question is beside the Correos and another is in Calle Belgica in Gran Alacant. They have told me and I have also seen with my own eyes that there is rubbish and rubble on the sierra. After speaking to the department responsible for the cleaning, they say that they cannot do anything because they are private buildings. I asked him if he is able to send a letter to these communities suggesting that they clean it themselves in, and the reply was that it was not possible as they are private residences. However, he did indicate that they were monitoring the complaints. I am hoping that they clean it, and maintain awareness about keeping our countryside clean because it has an effect on the image people have of Santa Pola. Well, we are starting the month of April with a lot of rain – an abundance of water, and I hope that the weather improves because from 3rd to the 12th April we have religious fiestas and processions that is to say it is our “Semana Santa”. During this period there will be a medieval market in the castle which was built in the 14th century. The market takes us back into olden times and I have to mention that courtyard of weapons that has been witnessed as being one of the most important historical finds that has happened in these centuries – tales such as the expulsion of the Moors in 1609, or the visit to Santa Pola by Alfonso XII in order to award it the title of a town. For centuries the courtyard of weapons was the centre of political and military life – today it is one of the places where people like to gather. It is a welcoming place which completely changes during the fiesta, with people meeting to watch different processions and sentimental fiestas which reflect on the spirit of these people and our traditions. I take the opportunity to invite you to experience them and feel how I do about them. Enjoy the fiestas as much as you can.

gran alacant MAUREEN’S ABOUT!

Hi Guys Well, I’m back from my annual jaunt across the pond, and I am happy to say I’m glad to be back this time - no more pangs and longing to be back in England or to move to America! I had a great time with family in England and America, but this time it felt like coming home. When I got back, I was shocked at how quiet Gran Alacant was. I saw no-one passing my casa for the first 2 weeks that I was back and when I got over my jet lag and ventured out, I was surprised at how quiet the bars and restaurants were – and also the amount of people who have packed up and gone back to England. I would like to wish Dave & Sue the Best of Luck in their new venture at the Sioux Bar. I was surprised to hear that they had left Destinations, but so glad they had not gone back to England. I would also like to wish my good friends Moya & Reg of La Palma all the best in whatever they decide to do next and I would like to thank them for their friendship and thoughtfulness over the past 4 years. I am going to miss you guys! I went to the opening day at the Life Resort on Saturday, but was disappointed with them for not having organised trips round the Resort. As I am not good on my legs, I would have liked a buggy ride and someone to have explained what the Life Resort is all about. Although they had promised free sangria and presents for everyone, I did not see any of this. Having said this, I did enjoy the music and the art gallery. I thought the ladies making lace were very good - I don’t know how they remember which bobbin to move! It was good to see an English lady (Angie) in the grip as well. I like seeing the British trying to integrate with the Spanish. The opening day of the Life Resort was a great day out for the family. There were 2 bouncy castles for the children, ice

DESTINATIONS

creams, games, and half price meals at the cafe bar – but I wish the over 55’s had been better catered for. I got a call from Loretta whilst I was in America (5 o’clock in the morning!) to tell me about the new classes that were starting in the Life Resort – Flamenco Dancing, Ballroom Dancing, Salsa and exercise classes as well. I have been along to observe these classes, and although I have bad knees and find the classes too much for me, I recommend everyone to go along and try some of the classes as they looked really good – and again it gives everyone a chance to integrate. Loretta, the person I would really like to see doing a class in The Life Resort is Tony Pitt. He has a great program for us over 21’s (which in my case is a seat to do my exercises on!) Well, that’s all for now. “Have a nice day ya all”

Don’t forget the walk for life on 19th April – you are all invited to take part. It is a sponsored walk in aid of the Elche Oncology wing. It takes place at the Carrabassi beach at 10am on the 19th April. Please come along in your decorated bras (prize for the best one!) at 9.30am to register. Get your sponsor forms from Maureen – ring 618 183 298. Look forward to seeing you all. Mo. The British Legion needs you! They are looking for more members to join them. They meet at the Norwegian bar in Urb Sierra Mar (opposite Just Desserts) on the first Tuesday of the month. The next meeting is 7th April at 7.30pm. Please go along and support them. They are holding a dinner dance in Destinations on the 18th April. It is the first event since their inauguration and you can get the tickets from Destinations Bar. Price €15. If anyone has any ideas about what events day they would like to see run on Gran Alacant or ideas for days out, please come along on the 7th April and put your ideas to the committee.

LORETO CASCALES Councillor for Gran Alacant & the Popular Party

Hello to all of you again, I Dear friends, Once again it is a pleasure to write some words about the news regarding the life in Gran Alacant. First of all, I would like to let you know about the Eastern fiestas that we are going to celebrate in Santa Pola. We are going to be able to join this festivity next week from 6th to 12th of April. This is a very important celebration for the people living in Santa Pola and I would hope you will enjoy them this year. You will have the schedule of all the activities we have prepared for you at the Municipal Office in Gran Alacant. You will also see in a very short period of time that we are going to put around 30 small bins in some streets of Gran Alacant. They will be distributed along Avenida Carabasí, Mediterráneo and Escandinavia. I hope this action will help somehow to keep our area a little bit cleaner. I think all of us must bear in mind that it is necessary to be clean to have a clean town. This is the reason why I would like to ask you to use these new small bins that are going to be installed soon. Finally, I would like to thank all the people who have joined the courses and activities we are developing in our new halls at Life Resort. It has been a great success and we will provide you with more activities soon. One of these new activities we are going to start with is like “a languages exchange”; we are going to get together English speaking people with Spanish speaking people and try to make them speak in the other language. If you are interested in this new project and you would like to learn some Spanish and help a Spanish person to learn some of your English, please, do not hesitate and write down your name in the list of interested people at the Municipal Library. I think this could be a great experience that can help you to get more integrated in our culture and language and, at the same time, you will help somebody else to learn English language. The integration of the different languages, cultures and nationalities that we have in our area is one of the main aims as a councillor of Gran Alacant and I think this type of activities can help to get it. Thank you very much for your collaboration to make Gran Alacant a better place to live day after day. Speak to you next month.

If you have any questions that you would like to ask Loreto - pop along to the municipal centre in GA and make an appointment to see her. You’ll find her extremely helpful, and don’t worry - she apeaks English!

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Talking of Life in

LaMarina DO YOU SPEAK LMB ? By John McGregor

K9 Club

Animals For Adoption K9 Club Dogs For Adoption Mat has been

with us now for 8 months and he desperate to find a home of his own. He is approx 1 year old and very

Do you speak LMB ? I try not to, but living on the

cent, I would say ! I gradually began to disbelieve whatever

urbanization that I do, it’s hard not to. So what is LMB,

I was told, especially if it came from a British direction. I

I hear you ask ? Well, it actually stands for La Marina

was rarely disappointed ! I say ‘British’, because LMB can

him. He is very good with other dogs and

B******s !! I’m not going to actually write the word,

be spoken in a bewildering variety of accents. Don’t get

children.

but in Spanish it’s cojones - testicles to be grammatically

me wrong, I love accents, they make me howl – I always

correct. I’m sure you catch my drift……It’s not difficult to

imagine someone from a foreign country having supposedly

speak, unlike Spanish.

learnt, say ‘BBC’- type English, then being parachuted

You see the thing is, if you live here you may actually be

into… parts of Geordieland / Yorkshire / Lancashire /

speaking it, but not even know it ! I first noticed this new

Midlands / Scotland / Wales ( hang on, I’m just taking the

amber eyes.

language shortly after we came to live here, can that be

phone off ! ) where the local accent is strong and peculiar

Both are vac-

ten years ago, where has that time gone ? At that time, of

to that particular area. I consider I have been around a

cinated and ready for new homes.

course, I needed lots of information, about how things are

bit, especially in my working life as a salesman, but even

done here, as it definitely differed from England. Where

I have great trouble understanding my fellow countrymen,

we came from in the UK, it either worked or it didn’t,

even out here, so what chance does someone from another

it was black or white, A or B, you filled in a form, and

country stand ? But LMB has no particular loyalty, it is

provided you did it right, you got the right result. Here...

practiced in just about every UK accent there is here.

cross and they

sigh…well, it’s not like that here, is it ? This is where I first

I can’t leave without giving you a couple of recent

are in desper-

encountered LMB. It was in the form of advice, sought

examples of LMB - a helicopter sighted over La Marina

ate need of

or unsought, on all things Spanish, how and where to do

was apparently searching for a group of East - European

new homes.

it, how much, who from…..and the funny thing was… I

muggers (complete with knives, naturally !) intent on

believed it all….well, most of it anyway !

slashing and holding us up here, in broad daylight, of

Gradually, it began to dawn on me, as things did not turn

course, like you do. It transpired that the Police were on a

out as I had been advised…that ‘some’ people did not know

training exercise which covered our area, but I’m sure you

and have Pet Passports. They are very

what they were talking about….then after several more

get my point. I’m not sure whether that particular piece

playful, good with other dogs and are in

years here, I began to realise… MOST people didn’t know

was linked to the attempted shooting on ‘that’ roundabout

excellent health.

what they were talking about ! Subjects like residencia

( you know, the N332 one !), and the activities that go on

(shudder !), banks, money, cars, the law, rates, bills, the

there.

list is endless. Thank the Lord I did not have to battle with

Perhaps I still believe in Father Christmas and that the

schools, I did my bit in the UK years ago. However, due to

council in San Fulgencio will one day do the right thing and

a legacy from the previous owner of my first house here,

spend some of our money here in La Marina putting the

my early speciality LMB subject was building regulations

roads and lighting right, keeping the place clean. I actually

here. Hah ! I got some wonderful advice there, my

like living here, and I wouldn’t if I thought I was living in a

confused opinions about permissions etc depended on who

(British !) ghetto, like some UK dailies would have their

I had spoken to last. Everyone differed from the last, or

readers believe. I’m beginning to ascend my soap box now,

anything previously and almost all were wrong – classic

and as I’m not particularly political, I think I’ll call it a day

LMB ! The current one is UK driving licences, and the

here ! So now that I’ve identified this very local dialect

hot issue of medicals, needed or not ? Not loadsa money,

here, look out and listen for LMB around you on the Urb

loadsa LMB !

– someone, somewhere is speaking it, right now – it’s not

The amount of cojones I was told about the above subjects

you, is it ?

friendly, his tail wags excitedly when a person approaches

Snap and Pop are about 4 month old kittens, boy and a girl and they have beautiful

Charlie and Archie are 7 month old Podenco

They are both housetrained, vaccinated, microchipped

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was amazing, and the accuracy of it ? Less than ten per

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BLUEMOON SOLUTIONS? ...WHAT’S THAT ALL ABOUT THEN?

Jungle Drums’ computer expert, Richard Cavender has been with us for over two years now and is by far the most successful ‘techy’ we’ve had on these pages. His experience and expertise have helped out scores of readers (and me…) but we thought it was about time we found out a little bit more about what this fellow from Northamptonshire does, and how he does it.

JD – You’ve been here almost three years now, working as a computer engineer – which means you fix computers – so come on, in my experience people who repair computers usually have a ‘interesting’ background, what was your trade in the UK? Ice cream man? RC – Ha-ha, no I’m afraid it was nothing as exciting as that, I have been involved in computers pretty much since I left school, many years ago now! I am a terrible fan of gadgets and all things ‘techy’ as you say. Before I left the UK I headed a team of 60 people which provided IT and computer services for companies such as Barclaycard, Securicor, Microsoft, Dell and Guinness amongst many others. It was fun and interesting - is there anything better than having a job that is also your

much more ‘personal’ and getting to know the people that run them is great. What keeps me busy is helping the individuals and I travel all over our region doing this and have found out so much more about this great country at the same time. Plus! I get to wear jeans or shorts and a tee shirt most of the time instead of a suit. I love the relaxed way of going about things here in Spain - it’s so infectious. JD – so is it just the Brits you help out?... do they come to your shop or office? RC – No, we now look after many different nationalities, fortunately they have a good

grasp of English. My Spanish is improving all the time so I’m ok with the natives but I’ve not yet mastered the Scandinavian, German, French and Chinese tongues quite yet! Luckily, I’ve been working with computers for so long now that I can operate a PC in any language and our relationship with Dell means that it’s just as easy for us to supply a new computer in Dutch as it is in English. Plus I keep myself up to date with the latest innovations and by taking exams frequently for my qualifications. As for premises…we considered the idea but our service is all about getting people back online or solving problems as quickly as possible for our customers and most of the time I can do that with their computer in their home. It means that they don’t have to lose the use of it for a few days and they don’t have to unplug all those leads! JD – yeah, I’ve seen the list of letters but to me, and a lot of others, they look like a disease, I mean, what on earth is an MCSE?...and

hobby?

does it hurt?

JD – As far as I know, in an interview, it’s supposed to be me who

many exams, but it means that I’m very well qualified to deal with

RC – Er…no, there’s no pain involved, unless you include taking the

asks the questions so I’ll ignore yours and ask about BlueMoon Solutions, in other words, what is it?...holistic healing? RC – now there I was last night worrying about this interview and imagining a ‘Paxman’ sitting in front of me asking tough questions! JD – just answer the question would you!...better? RC- Ha-ha! Ok two friends and myself set up BlueMoon as a supplier of IT services to the small to medium businesses that were, at that time, either having to pay big fees to the existing IT companies or they would have to rely on a friend who ‘might know a bit about computers’. That’s still what we do as a company but my role in Spain is slightly

pretty much any problem you might come across either at home or in business. I can also get help, support, and advice, directly from Microsoft and our other partners. That helps me be able to sort out someone’s PC in the shortest possible time and in their own home or office, as I said earlier - our customers appreciate that. JD – Well, we’re coming to the end but if there is one piece of advice you’d offer home users to keep their PC running smoothly, what is it? RC – Ok, one important thing to remember is don’t download illegal software or music files as they often come attached to viruses and

different but much more satisfying.

always, always back up data regularly to ensure that your files are

JD – Satisfying? Why?

don’t get frustrated like the guy in this link http://tinyurl.com/df86fl - call

as protected as possible should the worst happen. Whatever you do

RC – well, back in the UK it was 95% corporate business; dealing with companies and working in offices, 100% suit wearing! Here in Spain I help people who have problems with their home PC or laptop and I get to meet so many genuinely happy people that my days of ‘work’ are actually a social outing too! Having said that, I still supply IT services

us before you get to this stage! JD – Thanks for that Richard, off to work now? RC – Er…yes, I’m off to meet a customer with her laptop…over a coffee.

to small and medium sized businesses, but businesses here seem

JUNGLE DRUMS talks to your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

WHAT PEOPLE SAY We at Pocket Pages are more than satisfied with the excellent advice and service given by Richard of Bluemoon Solutions. Pocket Pages is a business reliant on computer systems, with numerous data on various systems, we were concerned about back up etc, so we called Richard of whom we had every confidence in helping us safe guard all our systems. Carolyn Shedden Pocket Pages Managing Director In my previous existence as an Engineering Projects Manager I became heavily reliant on my Laptop, but always had in house IT backup. Now in Spain and running a Restaurant, old habits die hard. All my literature, accounts and planning (albeit simple stuff) are produced and kept on my laptop. Then one day it gave up the ghost, panic set in when I realised the IT backup was no longer there. A customer referred me to Richard. I have never looked back and can confidently refer people to his professional approach to dealing with problems and solutions without the confusing jargon associated with IT that normally stumps us novices. Joe Wilson – The Lemon Tree Restaurant – La Marina Pueblo "When my computer died (literally!) I phoned a trusted friend to ask if they could recommend an IT company. To say it was an emergency was an understatement. BlueMoon arrived when they said they would, dealt with the problem and gave me an immediate solution which meant I could continue running my business. To find such a reliable, professional IT expert in Spain is nothing short of miracle. It's good to know that I have BlueMoon on standby for all my computer support in the future. I regularly recommend them to my friends and associates." Caroline Garrett, Spice Marketing & PR, Costa Blanca With eight computers in daily use and the type of business that no longer works with just a pencil, piece of paper and a brain, it’s imperative that we have a professionally run company to keep us up to date and running smoothly and also be ready to jump in speedily when things go wrong. Bluemoon hosts our web page, backs up and securely stores our data, fights our viruses, services our hardware and solves everything that happens to our computers. It’s a reliable, expert company and we recommend them wholeheartedly. Linda and Steve Rowland, Insurance Brokers “My company relies on computer systems so when things go wrong I need fast reliable assistance. BlueMoon was recommended to me and has now become a vital part of my organisation. They have helped to build a more efficient administration structure and an excellent back-up service. Most importantly Richard never makes me feel ignorant and resolves my problems swiftly and professionally.” Tina Foster Parkinson, Espaneura SL - Catral

Call Richard on 655044970 or 700756913 for friendly help & advice

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Spring is here! What a lovely time of year, for that leisurely drive, visiting all those beautiful, Spanish places that you have thought about during the long winter.

and expert advice

in this matter. With the warmer weather, don’t forget to check your engine’s level’s; Oil,

Just to update last month’s SUMA

Coolant, Brake Fluid and of course the

information, bills have now been issued

Screen Wash, it will be very dusty from

and the deadline for payment is the 8th

now on.

of May, however this does not apply

Also, now is the time to recharge your

to Santa Pola, where the bills will be

air-con, so that you are prepared for the

sent out from the 1st of April with an

summer heat. Should you need advice

extended payment period.

on any of these, please contact us. Chatting recently with a few local’s, Just to prove that we have some

I asked the question as to why their

readers, may we extend a big thank-you

indicators don’t seem to function

to, Julie, Derek and David, who were

properly, the spontaneous reply, was

quick to respond, to our piece about

that they only need to use them when

Spanish Speed Camera’s, by advising us

it’s dark!! So now we know, if you see

of another, of the same breed, that has

them being used in the daytime, be

recently made an appearance on the N

careful, they are probably not going in

332, Alicante direction, just before the

the direction indicated.

Playa Lisa, slip road. The speed limit is

More Spanish driving tips next

60 kph, so watch out; it could be a really

month, I think I will ask them about

good money-maker!

roundabouts!!

Thanks also to William and Pat, who

Have you heard about our Workshop’s

e-mailed, with a concern about their

crisis beating, BUY ONE GET ONE FREE

car insurance. For those of you, that

offer? You can have an oil and filter

renew your Policy through Direct Debit,

change for 60 euros AND receive a

the receipt, from your Bank, will be

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fully detailed, as to its purpose and is

use it for your second car.

acceptable as proof of payment. Your Insurance Company will not normally,

in these circumstances, issue a Policy

965 419 769 or e-mail: mick@

Receipt. We are indebted to Linda

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Rowland Insurance, Santa Pola, for their

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JLCA & AS - Lawyers José-Luis Campillo & Asociados

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LAW, TAX ADVICE & ACCOUNTANCY 1.-General Practice & Litigation 2.-Claims Against Builders/Promoters 3.-Advice on Tax Matters( Income Tax, VAT, Capital Gains, Company taxes, etc) 4.-Accountancy for companies and Self-Employed people and individuals. 5.-English & Spanish Inheritance Advice 6.-Real Estate Nie Numbers Preparation of a private contract before the deed Power of attorney, Bank Accounts Mortgages, Loans Notary Deed Registration of the deed at land registry

7.-Resident Permits 8.-Spanish Wills 9.-Trademarks now the whole magazine can be viewed on the web with our unique page-turning software (clever-eh?) check it out

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10.-Repossessions ( Market Oportunities) 11.-Changes of foreign cars to Spanish Registration 12.-Traffic Accidents Avda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, Local 8, Manzana E, 03130 GRAN ALACANT (Santa Pola) Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570 Espana - Spain · info@jlcalawyers.com Avda. de Alicante, 24 7° 03203 - Elche (Alicante) ·Espana - Spain Telf: 966 612 816 · Fax: 965 427 800 infonacional@jlcalawyers.com London: 83 Baker Street W1U 6AJ London Tel. 0044(0)2072683937 Fax: 0207 034 7100 e-mail. londonoffice@jlcalawyers.com

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LIFE IS TOO SHORT....so if you fancy doing something different.. just do it!

LivingLIF

CRISIS AID!

FIBROMIALGIA SINDROME

As ever the JD is here to help you survive…until the bankers get their bonuses again… OLD

telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply

cross out the names and address of people you don’t know.

DON’T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

DON’T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with

Is a chronic disorder which causes physical pain

your old bank statements.

and debilitating fatigue as well as a variety of

HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

DON’T

waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to

the object you wish to view.

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner’s helmet.

HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for

other symptoms. Fibromialgy´s main symptom is pain affects the ligaments, tendons and muscles through the body. Fibromialgy patients often like they are aching all over: muscles feel sore often accompanied by muscle spasm. , and overworked. Muscles twitches are also common in fibromyalgy,adding the pain of the illness. Many other symptoms

the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in

Sleep disorders

your coat pocket.

Fatigue

SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following

Morning stiffness

morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble

Gastrointestinal Complaints

full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

Headaches

SAVE

a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they

will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat. When you go back inside you will really feel the benefit.

CAN’T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.

WHY

pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips

from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.

How Osteopathy help? Osteopathic treatment can improve very helpful in reducing the pain symptoms associated with fibromialgia, reduction tender points, increased range of motion and dexterity and decrease numbrer of chronic headaches.

MIX tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto! Toffee. MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry

Osteopaths use a variety of differents types

on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

mobilitation, direct techniques…to relieve stiffness,

SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling

increase range of motion of the joints, improve

them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

the flexibility, get better muscle condition, muscle

of manipulations such soft tissue techniques,

stiffness and release tnder points.

FE Kids in Spain Suzanne Lockwood

Learning a second language The latest studies on the brain reveal some interesting things for parents of young children. Most of us know that children acquire a second (and even third) language more easily if taught at an early age. These studies show that kids’ brains are especially receptive to learning a second language before the age of 10, adults and older children require years of study in a non-immersion program before approaching fluency in a foreign language, yet children under the age of 10 seem to more readily accept and learn these same languages. (English has particular challenges since there are so many words that sound the same but have different meanings; there are many irregular verbs, too) What is even more interesting and new about studies on brain development is the revelation that early exposure to more than one language actually builds a more powerful brain. It also strengthens a child’s mastery and understanding of his first language. Being bilingual or multilingual has its obvious advantages in a world where communication is crucial to success. In light of the new research, many parents realize the benefits of exposing their young children to a second language. You may think it fruitless to expose infants to a foreign language before they can even talk but the ability to distinguish and process sounds or phonemes of foreign languages is highest in the first year of life, before many babies even utter their first word. Many experts now believe that babies exposed to more than one language during their first year of life will not only have an easier time learning foreign languages later in life, but actually improve their listening, problem-solving, and reasoning skills in general. The first year or two of life is an essential time for sounds and phoneme circuitry in the brain. Think about it, we all learned our very first native language by an immersion approach (no one translated anything to us because there was simply no language to translate to). Through lots of repetition, kids learn a language, any language, naturally and intuitively simply by being immersed in it. The quantity and frequency of words a child is exposed to has a direct influence on how fast that child will learn a language both on a receptive and expressive level. As we age, it is harder to accept an entirely new language without a rather unnatural tendency to want to translate word for word to our native language, and we all know this doesn’t work!

MODELLING COURSES available from The Pauline Harwood School of Modelling throughout the year. Private tuition by arrangement. Portfolios of Photos. Tel : 630 066 567 e-mail: paulineharwoodschoolofmodelling@hotmail.com

Pauline Harwood Management. P H Models www.phmodels.biz Tel 0034 630 066 567 Fax. 0034 96 646 2746

Suzanne Lockwood (Foundation Degree, NNEB, NVQ3, TEFL)

soemg@hotmail.co.uk

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Malvina Books THE DOG & Cards HOUSE Suppliers of

La Romana 965 696 656 Open tues-sat 10.00-2.00 malvinabooks@yahoo.co.uk

Quality Dog Care Products

Bestsellers & Top Titles in Stock Spanish dictionaries, text books & Study aids Cookery, Painting & Craft books Over 1000 books in our pre read book exchange

View our range of products at one of the following Stockists: AJ’s Supermercado (English & Dutch Products): Hondón de las Nieves Anthony’s Foods: San Juan B H Stores (Supermarket): Catral

Filofax gifts, Cross & Parker Pens & Refills Huge range of cards - for all occasions Gifts & Gift Vouchers

Green & Brown British Supermarket:

Special offer in April!!!!! More than 200 new paperbacks: 3 for just 8.50€ (selected titles)

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YOUR STARS Aries

Leo

Sagittarius

Star crossed lovers are set to bring a Shakespearean twist to your love life this month, beware window ledges or porches in all of their forms - and hats with feathers in them.

This might or might not be the best month in a long while to take a huge risk. The uncertainty is being caused by a small gale on the upper mid side of Jupiter’s lower eastern flank which is set to blow for much of the month. The best advice we can offer is to put off life changing decisions until the wind clears early in March, but perhaps take the odd small risk to keep up the practice. This year is now firmly set on a positive course that is the envy of all the other star signs, apart from Taurus. Be happy, laugh freely and feel unencumbered by economic woes.

This month you will never be more than 30 minutes away from a top hat and tails musical rendition of ‘Me and my shadow’. Getting the dance steps right now will pay dividends later. A ‘storm in a teacup’ is a nicely English type way of saying that there may be moments of sudden small scale torment up until 16th of the month, by which time the main danger should be confined to the bathroom by blocking the door with a large cupboard or wardrobe.

Virgo

Capricorn

A member of royalty from the north of europe is important this month, and for ever. Put off everything else in your life and enjoy the company of them as you know how important they are. Priceless. Other inportant things will most certainly occur this month but just look after what is important to you. Keep your eye on Charlie’s chocolate factory as only good will come from it. Unwrap any sweets with care and love because as you are finding out, the more you unwrap - the better it gets. Beware of a Tiddler that gets swallowed as you may have to help the famous pirate Kalsa go backwards. Talking is good, kissing is better so stick to tradition and enjoy it and remember just how lucky you are.

Upsy Daisy is important in your life right now and rightly so but Tiddler may need your help in getting out of a deep hole. A new friend is very keen on you and would like to spend lots and lots of time playing your games. Look out for the bright lights as it means someone is coming to see you - and it will be fun! Blue is the colour of his chariot and once inside you can go wherever you want to so long as the beautiful princess accompanies you, as she will forever.

Mar 20 - Apr 19

A wise decision you made last month is set to pay dividends. This could be a fractionally lower cholesterol reading after eating all that fresh fish, or it might be that purchase of bank shares that rose sharply after bottoming out last month. Whatever good is about to unfold it is well deserved and you should enjoy it to its fullest extent possibly to the nth degree or at least the fth degree.

Taurus Apr 20 - May 19

strange Harry Potter type incident involving an owl with a message attached to one of its legs will add a moment of both extreme excitement and anguish as feathers fly like you have just come across some kind of real life Tom and Jerry animal fight. Read the message the owl reluctantly gives you carefully. It wasn’t meant for you, but findseeskeepsies as they say. Act on this message carefully. A crash course in economics theory is all that stands between you and financial oblivion this month. Read any modestly relevant textbook with well thumbed pages for advice.

Gemini

May 22nd - June 21st In these credit crunch times retailers are only too happy to accept less than the price they are displaying to get a sale, but to get this you must pretend that you don’t really want the thing you are buying at all. The trick Saturn is keen to teach this month is that for best results never ever ever take ‘no’ for an answer. This month you will also learn the hard way not to take ‘the store is closing at 9pm’ for an answer either - if the police have to carry you from the building keep up the indifference at all times for best results. (Saturn thinks we should get a premium rate telephone number and a £39.99 DVD to further explain this technique.)

Cancer

June 22nd - July 22nd Gladiatorial combat is highly starred this month, either in the sword-and-sandles bashing up another person sense or just the watching it on television sense. In either sense, probably best to avoid starchy foods which will only slow you down, or make you want to go to the toilet at the most inconvenient of moments. You have always distrusted horoscopes after your parents schemed to give you the medical nightmare star sign that is Cancer. Jupiter agrees, but what to do?

July 23rd - August 23rd

Aug 23 - Sept 21

Libra

September 23rd - October 23rd As you sometimes pride yourself, Libra are the know-it-all star sign. This month Saturn is on side to give you free rein to show off your intimate knowledge of loads of stuff to people who just haven’t got a clue. Software development in particular is set to encroach on your spare time after you accidentally click on a link in an e-mail from Microsoft accidentally sent to you by a developer working on the next edition of Windows. You will initially be flummoxed by what is known in the trade as ‘an uncaught exception’.

Scorpio

October 24th - November 22nd ‘Let them wait’ will be your motto this month. Keep to this and you will increase your accuracy ten fold, even though your actual productivity will reduce staggeringly. Don’t worry, nobody will notice. Cake, cookies and chocolate are so well starred this month that you may be tempted to consume enormous quantities of them. Beware, however: Neptune has its eye on an exercise plan for you later in the year that could make your veins pop if you are too overweight. (Remember, Neptune is zillions of miles away and can’t actually see your overweight physique, even though it can make you do things you would rather not do.)

November 23rd - December 21st

December 22nd - January 20th

Aquarius

January 21st - February 18th All your internet shopping bargain hunting is set to come under the influence of Neptune from the 5th after which time bargains will literally drip from your keyboard. Half-priced household goods, dvds, and other products too numerous to mention will be priced so unbelievably low that you will have to pinch yourself that this isn’t all a dream. Yes, you have moved to Bargainsville. No money? - Don’t worry - Saturn has a surprise in store for you on the 10th!

Pisces

February 19th - March 20th A tall shop that you never used to go into is now open, just for you, and welcoming you with open arms. Everything in there is yours if you want it and in this special place you can wish for whatever you desire and it will be realised. Accept that you are beautiful and intelligent and bask in the fact that someone out there is dreaming about you constantly and driving himself crazy. The world has been yours since you were crowned and your guardian, the bull, will protect you forever. Sinun aari hämmästyttävä says Beefy.

aPRIL 2009

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get something answers page 46 on yer mind!

it... use ose l r o it!

Across 1. Carry with difficulty 6. Get out! 10. Chances 14. St. __ Girl (German beer) 15. Canal 16. Nota ___ 17. The A in E.A.P. 18. Buster, perhaps 19. Part of Veni, vidi, vici 20. Imitating Little Bo-Peep 23. Asp has one 24. __ roll 25. In and of __ 28. Lao __, father of Taoism 29. God in Gaul 31. Norma __ (Field movie) 32. Spend a night 35. Transportation sector 37. Abu __ 39. Imitating RinTinTin 42. Bury 43. Wing-like 44. “September ___”, Diamond song 45. Street equipment? 46. Fashion designer, Michael 48. Western hemisphere grp. 50. __-sack 52. United 53. What Bo-peep wants to hear 56. Imitating Mr. Ed 60. Disagreeable person 62. Hands-on item 63. Lavigne 64. Round up leaves 65. French 101 verb 66. Present or past, e.g. 67. It could be gray 68. Butters 69. Often used key

Down 1. “The final frontier” 2. Signs of sainthood 3. Humdingers 4. Panache 5. Piebald ponies 6. Medicinal shrub 7. Steep rugged cliff 8. Affected manners 9. The IT guy 10. Off-Broadway awards 11. Eagles hit 12. Incriminating evidence, perhaps 13. Baste 21. Deal with ashes 22. Classical work 26. It happens every birthday 27. Play possum 28. Moppet 29. Deli offering 30. Russian figure skater, Klimkin 32. Tail sound 33. Big toy maker 34. Edible thistle 36. Lab medium 38. Certain cuts 40. Annoying one 41. Swedish money 47. Creature often eaten raw 49. Open the window, maybe 51. Divided nation 52. Looks for bikinis 53. Ripped off 54. Seeds in a salad dressing 55. “The War of the Roses” author, Warren 57. A bit 58. “Cheers” regular 59. Hot spot 60. Feminists burned it, maybe 61. Kind of propeller

Across 1. Volume with a lot of volume 5. Up to snuff 10. Student’s org. 14. Designer Cassini 15. Followers of Muhammad ibn Ismail ad-Darazi 16. Kinks hit 17. Columbus caravel 18. Strauss material 19. Sign 20. Does this mean I’m ignorant or... 23. Reagan’s ‘Star Wars’ project, for short 24. Relative of 17 across 25. No spring chicken 28. Marches 32. Tie a knot 35. What the ‘fat lady’ sings 37. Susan on “Coupling” 38. La Sorbonne, e.g. 40. ... that I don’t read this guy’s books or... 43. ___ voice (conscience) 44. Just a drop 45. Knows what’s up 46. Make lace 47. Takes in 50. __ Spiegel 51. Collection 52. Shaq’s shoe width 54. ...that I don’t buy this guy’s booze? 63. Sound of displeasure 64. Shocking 65. Having the resources 66. Eric of Monty Python fame 67. In reserve 68. Lawsuit 69. Word with swap or track 70. Leveled 71. Sherpa’s specialty

Down 1. ‘Flakey’ tiger 2. Hodgepodge 3. Dish list 4. Euphemistic expletives 5. How to make glycerin explosive 6. Weight allowance 7. Type of rock 8. B __ Baby 9. Item oft lost in the couch 10. Onetime sprint record-holder, for short 11. Luigi’s capital city 12. Guiness 13. It has a turret 21. Takes too much LSD 22. More prudent 25. Smoking, e.g. 26. Place for spectacles 27. A well-known one is green 29. Ditch plants 30. Emcee’s concern 31. Capital of Senegal 33. Lift up 34. Furnishings 36. Downed 39. Pigeon patter 41. Caper 42. Firmly inserted 48. Waco campus 49. Last word in “America the Beautiful” 51. Not a liability 53. Pass a bill 54. Notion 55. Make like Waldo 56. ___ of Man 57. Poet and feminist of the Americas (18951965), Lee 58. Calif. neighbor 59. Courteous 60. Girder 61. Ultimatum word 62. Vichyssoise ingredient

MORE STRANGE STUFF... Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food! Dolphins sleep with one eye open! The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old! In space, astronauts cannot cry properly, because there is no gravity, so the tears can’t flow down their faces! There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones!

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Wordoku (or word sudoku) is much like traditional

. e

Sudoku, except that here you must place letters from a given 9 letter word into each of the blank spaces. Every row of the puzzle must contain one of each letter in the word, as must every column and every 3x3 square. Key word is CERTAINLY

Find all the words on the subject 70’s songs in the grid below! ANGIE BABE BAD BLOOD BETH BROWN SUGAR CAR WASH CONVOY CRACKLIN’ ROSIE CROCODILE ROCK DANCING QUEEN DREAMING DREAMS FAME FREE BIRD GREASE HEART OF GLASS HOT STUFF HOTEL CALIFORNIA ISLAND GIRL JIVE TALKIN’ LAYLA LE FREAK LOLA

LOVIN’ YOU LOWDOWN MACARTHUR PARK MAGGIE MAY MISS YOU MONEY NIGHT MOVES OHIO POP MUZIK RHIANNON RHINESTONE COWBOY RICH GIRL ROXANNE SAD EYES SIR DUKE STAYIN’ ALIVE SUPERSTITION THE JOKER TRAGEDY VENUS WATERLOO YOUR SONG

Find and circle all of the musical instruments that are hidden in the grid. ACCORDION BAGPIPE BALALAIKA BANJO BASS BODHRAN CABASAS CELLO CHIMES CITTERN CLARINET CONGA CORNET COW BELL DIDGERIDOO DRUM EUPHONIUM FLUTE FRENCH HORN GUITAR HARP

HURDY-GURDY LAOUTA MANDOLA MARACAS MELODICA MIZMAR OBOE OUD PENNYWHISTLE PICCOLO SAZ SITAR TARKA TRIANGLE TROMBONE UKULELE VEENA VIBRAPHONE VIOLIN XUN

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WHAT’S ON ? GUIDE APRIL

San Vicente Ferrer 15 April, Busot Mare de Déu del Miracle 15 April, Relleu Fiestas Patronales 16 April, Benissa San Vicente 16 April, Sant Vicent del Raspeig Sant Vicent Ferrer 16 April, TeuladaMoraira Mare de Déu del Miracle 19 April, Cocentaina Moros y Cristianos 22 to 24 de April, Alcoi/ Alcoy Moros i Cristians 2009 22 to 25 de April, Banyeres de Mariola Mig Any Fester 22 April, Calpe Feria Folklórica y Cultural 22 April, Castell de Castells Fiestas Mayres y Moros y Cristianos en Onil

del 22 de April al 1 de May, Onil Mercado Medieval 2009 1 to 3 de May, Aigües La Creueta 1 May, El Alfaz del Pi Feria de May 2 May, Torrevieja Fiestas de la Cruz 3 May, Alicante Virgen de la Rosa 3 May, Benitatxell Fiestas del Barrio de La Cruz 3 May, El Campello Santa Cruz en Granja 3 May, Granja de Rocamora Fiestas en Honor Jesús Nazareno 3 May, Javea Fiesta de la Vera Cruz 3 May, Mutxamel Fiestas de Senija 3 May, Senija Moros i Cristians 2009 8 to 11 May, Muro de Alcoy San Gregorio de Osma

9 May, La Torre de les Maçanes Els Fadrins 10 May, Alcoleja Fiestas Patronales 12 de May, Biar April 9th Maundy Thursday Spain, except Catalonia April 10th Good Friday Spain April 13th Easter Monday Balearic Islands Catalonia Valencian Cty. Navarra Basque Country April 23rd Day of the Communities: Aragon Castilla y León May 1st Labour Day Spain May 2nd Day of the autonomous region Madrid May 15th San Isidro Madrid (city)

MARKETS AND LOTS OF EM MONDAY

NIGHTSHIFT ENTERTAINMENT Every THURSDAY LONDON TAVERN Gran Alacant Every FRIDAY LONDON TAVERN Gran Alacant & RAFFLES Gran Alacant Every SUNDAY LONDON TAVERN Gran Alacant & CHURCHILLS Gran Alacant

Agres, Callosa d’en Sarrià, Cox, Dènia, Elche, Formentera, Granja de Rocamora, Ibi, La Nucia, Monovar, Penáguila, Petrer, San Pedro del Pinatar, Santa Pola, Sax

Clubs & Societies Writers Club

PUBLIC HOLIDAYS March 19th

96 679 6866

St.-Joseph

Good Life Club

April 9th

Soccoter Club

April 10th

630 142 317

Good Friday

Phoenix Car Club

April 13th

Norman Ritton Big Band 96 673 1723

April 23rd

96 692 1558

info@pheonixcarclub.com

Maundy Thursday

Easter Monday Day of the Communities:

TUESDAY Altea, Aspe, Beniarbeig, Benijofar, Campo de Mirra, Castalla, Elda, Jalón, Orihuela, Relleu, Sella, San Fulgencio, Tibi

WEDNESDAY

Albatera, Alcoy, Alqueries, Bañeres, Benejamar, Beniarrés, Benidorm, Benilloba, Benitachell, Biar, Callosa sel Segura, El Campello, Elda,

Guardamar, Monforte del Cid, Muchamiel, Ondara, Novelda, Orba, Petrer, Polop, San Miguel de Salinas, Sella, Teulada

THRUSDAY Agres, Agost, Alpe, Albatera, Algeña, Alicante, Benidoleig, Cocentaina, Hondon de los Frailes, Gran Alacant Jávea, Jijona, Pego, Rojales, Villajoyosa, Villena,

FRIDAY

Albatera, Bañeres, Benejuzar, Beniarrés, Benidoleig, Crevillente, Dènia, El Pilar de la Horadada, Finestrat, Gata, Granja de Rocamora, L’Alfas del Pi, Moraira, Monforte del Cid, Montesinos, Muro de Alcoy, Onil,

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

Petrer, Rafal, Sella, Tibi, Torrevieja, Vergel

SATURDAY Alcoy, Alicante, Almoradi, Alquerias, Benissa, Bañeres, Calpe, Callosa d’en Sar, Castalla, Catral, Castell de Caste Elche, Elda, Gaianes, Hondon de las La Romana, Novelda, Pedreguer, Playa Flemenca, Relleu, Salinas, Santa Pola, San Vicente

SUNDAY

Aigües de Busot, Algueña, Alfafara, Benidorm, Busot, Benferri, Elche, Guardamar, La Marina La Murada, Torremanzana

something you want to get off your chest

LETS HEAR FROM YOU any subject....a confession maybe

LETTERS

ask@thejungledrums.com or do it the old way and post to apdo 194 03130 SANTA POLA

Hi Dave! (What’s the difference between Mr. Humphreys and Dave Bull? No difference - they’re both FREE!) I hope you’ll be glad to know that your ambition to get a panto staged in Gran Alacant is a step nearer to reality. Oh yes it is!I recently Jd editor needs little excuse put out an invitation to to slip into something more provocotive anyone interested in forming a drama group based in Gran Alacant to perform plays and pantos, and I’m delighted to say that the response has been very positive. A good number of people have been in touch with me, many of them with considerable experience of amateur theatre from their time in the UK, and almost without exception they have told me one thing - a Gran Alacant Theatre Group is just what they’ve been waiting for. So that’s what I’m in the process of setting up. We’re calling it GASP Theatre (for Gran Alacant Santa Pola, of course.) I’ve already had a meeting with our GA councillor Loreto, and the help and support she has offered on behalf of the Santa Pola Ayuntiamento could not have been more generous. The next plan is to have a meeting for all those interested, and this is scheduled for mid-April in the meeting room at the GA Library, so can any JD readers who would like to join us contact me on 966 695 043 for more details.

Looking forward to hearing from all those frustrated actors. Roger Keevil We’re on our way the Roger, or should that be darling? Anyway tell everyone you can to join in the fun and we’ll have a great time at Christmas! Dave

A LETTER TO JD WRITER COLIN STICKLAND Your English has become Spanish grammatically, you write similar to how Manwell the waiter in Faulty Towers speaks. It does not help having an East London education, well if there is one! However blame that on the middle classes who cannot cope with any competition, so they make sure the working classes are unable to achieve. I always tell my students that being born into a wealthy nuturing family does not compensate for the fact that intelligience is provided by nature. The less of a pedigree you have decreases the risk of chromosome malformation through incestual breeding. Umm you could argue that one in the case of the Cornish students though? Just joking. Nature has no prejudice with regard to intellect, however nuture is serendipty and only the ideologies of social class brought about by the by the insecure rich have created the inequalites that exist in societies all over the world. Some would argue though that the latter is a biological function that is instigated through the need to survive that is still with us from the paoelithic period. I often wonder how many working class people live off their tacit knowledge. Mine, and I think yours, was definitely not from our academic careers provided by the East London Education Authority.

windscreen wash. £900.21 it cost, MOT had no voids and it was previously owned by a Saab dealer. It iis all on the papers and genuine. If I have any problems I will just put in back on ebay. Might be worth selling some of your cars in a similar manner, Left hand drive cars are in, I believe, demand here in the UK. Hope all is well at your end. And if anyone can tell us what on earth that is all about…please write in. ED.

Bought a 2 litre Saab 95 over the Internet a couple of weeks ago, lovely car. Have a few little jobs to do on it, like topping up the coolant and

Was Intelligience really provided by nature ?

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If peace and quite are high on your list of priorities, this apartment is the one for you. Unspoilt views of the sea and Tabarca are available in this very well kept block and you are only seconds away from the beach. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner, kitchen, lift balcony, massive roof top solarium, parking and being sold fully furnished. Offers like this do not come around too often.

Virtually on top of the Mediterranean this 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment, is situated in a very well maintained apartment block with mature gardens and a large attractive communal pool. From the apartment balcony and pool, superb sea views can be enjoyed. Included in the price are white goods & furniture and a double locking garage ideal for extra storage and parking. At only €143,000 this property won’t be around for long. Ref K50

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IMMACULATELY MAINTAINED MID TOWN-HOUSE IN PUERTO MARINO

Situated in the highly sort after area of Gran Playa and within walking distance of all local amenities, this delightful property offers 2 bedrooms both with wardrobes, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner, American style kitchen, glazed-in galleria and front porch, balcony off master bedroom, lots of storage areas, frontgarden complete with gas BBQ and off road parking. Many extras are included with this and it is being sold fully furnished. REF K49

This south facing property offers quality and taste and is one of only a few with a large front and rear garden. 2 bedrooms,3 bathrooms, light lounge-diner, ind. kitchen,choice of communal pools, private parking, fabulous views and being sold fully furnished including apliances. The positioning of thisproperty means the sun can be enjoyed the whole day, giving the house a extremely bright atmosphere. Viewing essential to appreciate the quality. For more details see REF K10 Our Opinion, extreme value for money €144.000

Since the introduction of our web site, we now have clients waiting for certain properties to become available, either for sale or long term rent. So if you are thinking of selling or renting please, give us a call on 627 711 155 Mobile, 966 699 136 Office or email: careymkrt@hotmail.com or visit our web site www.granalacantpropertyneeds.com 44

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NIE, Residencia, Social Security, Doctor, Hospital, Town Hall, Police, School, Traffic Office, Water / Electricity contracts, Shopping, General Interpreting etc...

Mobile:669791201

Email:michellearoondale@hotmail.com

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Bouquets and Arrangements

call: Sharmila on 699396089

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WE COLLECT CALL 625 985 491 - 665 662 078

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- long /short term stays, - collection & delivery service, - english owned, vet 24 / 7 - walked 3 times daily, - 25mins alicante, 121 care. - large kennels, - visits welcome Tel: Sonia

96 112 0244 677 343 653 45

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

CAR SALES

AIR CONDITIONING DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

RENAULT Santa Pola

Tel 96 541 3746

ESTATE AGENTS

CAR SERVICE CENTRE La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTS La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 HEADLAMP EXCHANGE La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938

ANIMAL RESCUE

CLEANING SANTA POLA RENTALS Santa Pola Tel: 96 541 6171

BARS

ORIENTE Gran Alacant

TOP ALACANT Gran Alacant

FARMACIAS FARMACIA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471

FISCAL

Tel. 96 669 7972

CLUBS / SOCIETIES

BOOKS IMPACT CHARITY SHOP La Marina Tel 96 679 5593 MALVINA BOOKS La Romana Tel. 96 569 6656

FURNITURE

MONTE MAR BOWLS CLUB Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 8676

SECOND HAND FURNITURE La Marina Tel. 685 199 925 ORIENTE Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7972

COMPUTERS BLUE MOON SOLUTIONS All Areas Tel. 655 044 970

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE

CONVEYANCING

ALTOMAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353 CLIVE COOMBER Gran Alacant Tel 669 593 212 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 670 260 684

HAIRDRESSERS

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 8796

FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

DENTAL

XTRA RENT A CAR Santa Pola Tel 607 850 664

HEALTH & BEAUTY BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

DOCTORS CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411 EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455 OLIVER PACK Santa Pola Tel. 96 541 3364

CARPENTRY Tel 609 755 237 Tel 665 063 228

EURONICS Gran Alacant

CAR PARKING

LEIGH ADOO Fitness Training Tel 606 717 159

Tel. 96 669 5365

HEARING

EDUCATION

STEWART AIRPORT SERVICE Gran Alacant Tel. 636 297 896

VALERIE ROBERTS La Marina Tel 96 679 5503

CAR REPAIRS

CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 PERFORMANCE & DIESEL Guardamar Tel. 96 610 7606 CONFORT TYRES El Altet Tel. 96 568 7139

HEATING

CCW ELECTRICAL Gran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 670 260 684

puzzle

JEWELLERS CGL JEWELLERS Santa Pola Tel 629 383 268

KENNELS LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 965 475 463

KEY HOLDING SANTA POLA RENTALS Santa Pola Tel: 96 541 6171

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS WILCO Santa Pola

Tel 96 541 1520

LOCKSMITHS SAFEGUARD LOCKSMITHS All Areas Covered 965888681 or 626891453

SUNSHINE MOBILITY Benejuzar Tel. 96 677 7985

MOTORBIKES SOLO MOTOS Santa Pola Tel. 96 541 4242

MORTGAGES HEALTH & FITNESS

DOMESTIC APPLIANCES

Tel 670 260 684

ROWLAND INSURANCE Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3076 ALMARCHA INSURANCE La Marina Tel. 96 572 9747 PERPETUO SOCORRO All Areas Tel. 678 570 432

MOBILITY

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603

CAR HIRE

HOUSEHOLD SERVICES COMPLETE UPHOLSTERY Almoradi Tel. 96 570 1844 MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319

INSURANCE Tel. 96 669 7357

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MICHELLE Gran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

CLOTHES

ASTUR HOUSE Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9771 FRANK’S MUSIC BAR Gran Alacant Tel. 637 355 570

DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel: 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

NATURE BRIAN CONDUIT Santa Pola Tel 96 669 0497

OPTICIANS CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel 966 698 802 SPECSAVERS Torrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249

OSTEOPATH CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel 667 919 277

How’dyado?

ons

soluti

from page 40-41

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399

CAR TRANSFERS

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUE Bacarot Tel 96 596 0224

D JOINER Gran Alacant MAYO Gran Alacant REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant

ENTERTAINMENT / KIDS cont...

easy wordoku not s

o eas y

crosswo

rd 2

crossword 1 46

BUSINESS DIRECTORY ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

TRANSLATORS

CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 2328 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax Tel 96 547 5463

PHYSIOTHERAPY

CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7411

POSTAL OFFEX All Areas

PLUMBERS

Tel. 96 672 0959

REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT SANTA POLA RENTALS Santa Pola Tel 96 541 6171

REMOVALS

MISTER VAN All Areas

Tel. 697 775 588

RESTAURANTS COCOA’S Gran Alacant LEMON TREE La Marina LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant SAFFRON Gran Alcant

Tel. 96 669 8509 Tel. 96 541 9598 Tel 96 669 5399 Tel. 96 669 8098

SIGNS / SIGN WRITING CORTES SIGNS Santa Pola Tel. 686 464 076

SOLICITORS JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

SUNBLINDS TOLDOS PENALVER Santa Pola Tel. 96 543 2350 SWIMMING POOL (MAINTAINANCE)

GA Pools Gran Alacant PJ’s Gran Alacant

Tel 628 030 184 Tel 619 501 657

SWIMMING POOL (CONSTRUCTION)

REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JOHN TRANSLATOR Gran Alacant Tel. 677 876 371 MICHELLE Gran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

TRANSPORT ALICANTE AIRPORT El Altet Tel 96 691 9000 TAXI Santa Pola Tel 609 959 408

TRAVEL AGENTS GETAWAY TOURS Santa Pola Tel. 96 669 6269

TV DIGINOVA Santa Pola SIMULSAT Santa Pola

Tel 660 631 380 Tel. 677 878 210

VETS CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 8463

WATER FILTERS PUREFLO Gran Alacant

Tel. 656 649 221

WINDOW CLEANING CRYSTAL WINDOW CLEANING Gran Alacant Tel. 680 478 191

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112

VISA & MASTERCARD SPAIN: 915 192 100 HEALTH Elche Hospital 96 667 9000 Alicante Hospital 96 593 8300 96 524 4200 Hospital Vega Baja 96 677 6187 96 677 6183 96 677 6166 Torrevieja 965721000 WELFARE Gran Alacant office 96 669 7749 Fire Service 085 Local Police 092 LEISURE La Marina Aqua Park 96 679 7792 La Marina Library 96 679 4201 Guardamar Museum 96 572 8610 Rojales Museum 96 671 3273 SERVICES British Consulate Alicante 96 521 6022 Butano gas 96 541 3473 Consumer Advice 96 373 7109 Electricity company 90 120 2020 Post Office 90 219 7197 Telefonica Information 1004 Water Company 96 541 4124 TRAVEL & TRANSPORT Alicante Airport 96 691 9000 Alicante Bus Station 96 513 0700 RENFE (trains) info 90 224 0202 Elche Bus Station 96 545 5050 Road Information 90 012 3505 Radio Taxis 90 240 4095 British Airways 90 211 1333 Iberia

96 691 9188

SHOPPING CENTRE - on the hour Avda Mediterraneo (hill)

- 5 mins past

POST OFFICE - 10 mins past

Altomar II,

12 6 12 6 12 6 12

Don Pueblo

- 15 mins past MARCO POLO

6 12

JLCA & AS - Lawyers

- 25 mins past HEALTH CENTRE

6 12

& LIBRARY

- 30 mins past PHARMACY

6 12

& MARKET

- 35 mins past

BEACH (Avda Carabassi) - 40 mins past

PHOENIX RESTAURANT (Costa Hispana complex)

- 45 mins past SCHOOL - 50 mins past MASA COMPLEX (roundabout)

- 55 mins past

professional treatment for low back and leg pain, neck and shoulder pain, arthritis, arthrosis, sport injuries - overuse and work strain Rosa Martinez Valdivieso fully licensed Physiotherapist and Osteopath happy to receive you all year round

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find the clinic in the Municipal building next to the library

English, Spanish and some Scandinavian 616 779 034

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