The Courier - Edition 203

Edition 203

www.thecourier.es

Friday 9th January 2015

IN THE DOCK

GUARDIA QUIZ AWAITS FOR ACCUSED SMUGGLER

By ALEX TRELINSKI

A Liverpool man who is accused of master­ minding the murder of a fellow Brit, whose body was found washed up on La Zenia beach, has made his first appearance in a UK court to answer charges over drug smuggling. Once that matter is concluded, he is expected to be extradited to Spain to face a grilling over last year’s killing on the Costa Blanca.

Paul Scott, 32, appeared before Liverpool Crown Court last Friday via a videolink from Wakefield Prison. He was accused of being part of a plot to smuggle up to 40 tonnes of cocaine from South and Central America into Merseyside.

Scott was arrested after landing in a light aircraft from Holland in Norfolk in December. Judge David Aubrey, adjourned the preliminary hearing until January 23rd for him to seek instructions. If Scott does fight the charges it will be at a trial in June which is predicted to last up to three weeks.

He is alleged to be the last member of an organised crime group who were trying to bring cocaine worth as much as £4 billion into the UK from Ecuador. His co­accused have been jailed for decades following several trials carried out over the last 18 months.

In January 2014, Paul Scott allegedly instructed three men to kidnap Francis Brennan, whose decomposed body was washed ashore at La Zenia beach at the end of March, after Brennan owed money to Scott. Liverpudlian fugitive Brennan van­ ished in January after being kidnapped by three men disguised as Guardia officers and the 25­year­ old's body was discovered three months later in a heavily­taped plastic bag that washed ashore on the beach.

The National Crime Agency arrested Paul Scott last month after Spanish detectives named him as the prime suspect for plotting the Francis Brennan killing. The Guardia Civil believe that Scott instruct­ ed three henchmen to abduct Brennan over a sig­ nificant debt incurred before he fled from Merseyside to the Costa Blanca. His captors still

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remain at large.

Mr Brennan had suffered “numerous injuries” including suspected stab and gunshot wounds when his body was recovered from La Zenia beach. His hands were tied togeth­ er and he had suffered a severe head wound. Police suspect his body – found in an “advanced state of decomposition” – was dropped in the sea, allegedly with a concrete slab inside the bag to help him sink.

Brennan had fled to the Costa Blanca with his girlfriend, Sophie, before Christmas 2013 after ignoring the advice of his parents to stay in Britain. He had been due in court for sentencing over a wounding charge. He was approached on January 24th last year in Javea by three men in a light grey Citroen Xsara wearing baseball caps like those worn by Civil Guard officers. He was forced into the car and taken to an unknown location.

Once Scott's prosecution over the drugs charges is con­ cluded in Liverpool, he will be passed onto the Spanish authorities to answer charges over the death of Mr.Brennan.

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Friday 9th January 2015

TELEPHONE

966 921 003 679 096 309 E­MAIL office@thecourier.es

MEN OF MENACE

ON A HIGH

WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1600 EDITOR Alex Trelinski LAYOUT & DESIGN James Bone ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier Tel. 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265 Writers Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies James Bone Peter Singh

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

The Guardia Civil are on the lookout for two Romanians who have been involved in dozens of robberies across the Vega Baja in recent months. The men carry a gun and a samurai­style sword in their raids to intimidate victims to hand over money and goods as they raid premises across the region. Just before Christmas, the robbers struck in the village of La Murada before being chased by Orihuela police and the Guardia for a number of miles before aban­ doning their car and managing to escape capture. They then struck at a Catral service station before hitting other properties including a tobacco shop, using a stolen van

to transport their booty.

The incident bares a striking similarity to a series of other recent petrol station raids. A San Fulgencio service station was ran­ sacked in the early hours of last Saturday morning according to the Guardia Civil in Guardamar. The thieves stole money after deacti­ vating the security system, in addition to destroying CCTV equipment which would have iden­ tified them. Meanwhile a Repsol outlet in Los Montesinos (pictured) was robbed on Christmas Eve and was then hit again by two armed men on Monday night. Nobody was injured in any of the rob­ beries.

MEN OF MENACE The Guardia Civil are on the lookout for two Romanians who have been involved in dozens of robberies across the Vega Baja in recent months. The men carry a gun and a samurai­style sword in their raids to intimidate victims to hand over money and goods as they raid premises across the region. Just before Christmas, the robbers struck in the village of La Murada before being chased by Orihuela police and the Guardia for a number of miles before aban­ doning their car and managing to escape capture. They then struck at a Catral service station before hitting other properties including a tobacco shop, using a stolen van

to transport their booty.

The incident bares a striking similarity to a series of other recent petrol station raids. A San Fulgencio service station was ran­ sacked in the early hours of last Saturday morning according to the Guardia Civil in Guardamar. The thieves stole money after deacti­ vating the security system, in addition to destroying CCTV equipment which would have iden­ tified them. Meanwhile a Repsol outlet in Los Montesinos (pictured) was robbed on Christmas Eve and was then hit again by two armed men on Monday night. Nobody was injured in any of the rob­ beries.

A British driver had a miraculous escape from a high speed accident on the AP7 motorway but was more concerned about being unmasked as a drug dealer, even when he lay trapped in the wreckage. The 41 year old, identified only with the ini­ tials JB, was involved in the smash last week on New Year’s Day after he lost control of his Audi car at Los Narejos heading towards Cartagena. Emergency services rushed to rescue the driver who was trapped in his car with the engine on fire, but they managed to pull him

out in time. His priority though was to avoid being uncovered as a drug peddler and he swallowed a seven gram cocaine capsule, which was detected by the medical team at San Javier’s Los Arcos hospital when he was taken there after being freed.

Authorities then found out that he had a long history of drug dealing in addition to theft, and officers found drugs plus cash and several mobile phones in the wreckage of his car.

The Briton was promptly arrested at his bed and charged with an alleged public health crime.

TOP GEAR

Torrevieja council has got a major boost in their plans to convert the N332 road into a dual­carriageway around the city. Though the project has already been budgeted for, no exact time scale for the start of the work was given, but the council has now received a copy of a draft agree­ ment between itself, the Ministry of Development, and the Valencian Government which it is hoping can be signed within a few weeks for the 32 million euro development to go ahead. Environmental impact studies

are said to be positive and Torrevieja council say they already own 90 per cent of the land which would be used for the expansion of the road, with the remainder set to be acquired via compulsory purchase. The eight kilo­ metre stretch between La Mata and the Orihuela Costa has acquired a reputation as a major blackspot and the conversion into a dual­carriage­ way would mean the route would be four­laned from north of Guardamar down to Pilar de la Horadada.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, per­ haps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents

– or happier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

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Friday 9th January 2015

SICK TRADE GIFTS APLENTY

The Three Kings had a busy Monday evening as they launched Spain’s biggest time of present­giving around the area. There were major processions in many key centres, includ­ ing the arrival of the wise men by boat in Torrevieja (pictured). Elche, the Orihuela Costa, and Santa Pola were just some of the many centres to get involved, with the Magi also arriving by water at Lo Pagan before meeting the youngsters of San Pedro del Pinatar.

Meanwhile tragedy struck in Nijar in Almeria province when a 20 year old man playing King Balthazar in a parade died after being knocked from the float and hitting his head.

Eyewitnesses described how the float on which the young man was travelling collided with an electricity cable. The cable caught on the man’s chair, pulling it back and throwing him from the float onto the ground, where he hit his head, and died in hospital. The council imme­ diately announced three days of mourning.

A 38 year old Albatera man who is accused of selling sick puppies via the internet, has been arrested by the Guardia Civil. The dogs, several of whom died, were in a dreadful state according to the animal protection branch of the Guardia, SEPRONA. A number of diseases that the animals were carrying could easily have been passed on to humans.

The Guardia got involved last September when a woman from San Vicente del Raspeig near Alicante City paid over eleven hundred euros via an internet site for four purebred chihuahua puppies. The dogs were in such an ill­ state that she had to pay nearly three thousand euros for them to be treated by

a vet, and subsequently contacted the authorities.

Guardia investigations uncovered that the 38 year old man had been running his dog selling business since 2011 selling a variety of breeds via the internet, some of which were even transported by courier companies to the Baleares. Many of the dogs who arrived at their final destinations were in poor health and did not have the vaccinations that were claimed to have been given to them in addition to other false documents that the Guardia uncov­ ered when they arrested the vendor last month. The man has been charged with fraud and forgery, with further charges expected to be levelled against him.

SPORTING CHANCE

48 people are coming off the local dole queues to help brighten up the La Siesta and El Chaparral areas of Torrevieja under the latest Mediterranean employment workshop project which will run until the end of June. Torrevieja Mayor, Eduardo Dolon, officially presented the new contracts, worth one million euros, which will convert 40 thousand square metres into a new green area with sporting facilities and children's play areas.

TERRORISTS STUBBED OUT

A 10 million euro tobacco and alcohol smuggling gang led by two ex­IRA members which operated on the Costa Blanca and Mar Menor has been smashed by the National Police. Leonard Hardy and his wife Donna Maguire(pictured), who was once dubbed “the most dan­ gerous woman in Europe”, were arrested in a hotel in Lanzarote in the Canary Islands. Both used to be IRA members in a unit which car­ ried out terror attacks on the European mainland, during the 1980s. In 1995, Maguire received a nine year prison sentence in Germany for a bomb attack on a British Army barracks in Osnabruck. She was con­

victed of attempted murder and explosives offences over the incident, in which Hardy was also involved, but he was never jailed because of the amnesty under the Good Friday peace agree­ ment.

The National Police said that Hardy and Maguire were in charge of a major money laundering and smuggling enterprise, with money being syphoned off illegally to buy property across Alicante Province and Murcia as well as Malaga.

Five members of their opera­ tion were arrested in the Alicante and Murcia regions in addition to Malaga. Three of those were Irish, two of whom were detained in San

Pedro del Pinatar. A Spanish lawyer was arrested, allegedly as administrator for the real estate investments and also a young Norwegian woman who was allegedly in control of the money laun­ dering side of the organisa­ tion. Hardy is now in custody while his wife was granted a provisional release so she can attend to the couple’s two young children.

The investigating National Court Judge, Pablo Ruz, has ordered 11 properties said to be worth over five million euros to be impounded as well blocking over 90 bank accounts. The operation was conducted in association with both British and Irish authorities.

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Friday 9th January 2015

DRAW OF CHEER

Spain’s El Nino lottery has handed out some 560 million euros in the annual draw which is held on the Feast of the Epiphany on January 6th. The top prize tickets, each worth 200 thousand euros, were all sold in Leganes, a south­west Madrid working­class suburb. There are some happy people in Torrevieja as well, with the lottery office on Calle Joaquin Chapaprieta(staff pictured) selling a share of the second prize worth in total 750 thousand euros amongst the winning decimos holders. One of those is a Torrevieja man who has been unemployed for four years and will get 75 thousand euros for his investment. Meanwhile, San Javier got a share of the fifth prize worth 60 thousand euros per decimos for sales in the Dos Mares shopping centre, and the same applied to San Fulgencio. Ticket sales were up by over six and a half per cent nationally, and nearly two per cent higher in Alicante Province compared to last year’s draw.

GUESS WHAT?

The New Year has brought another prediction for the open­ ing of the ill­fated Corvera Airport facility in Murcia. The newly appointed regional planning Minister, Francisco Barnabas, said on Tuesday that if “everything goes well”, then the air­ port could open towards the end of 2015. Just before Christmas, the Murcia government tore up its contract with operator Aeromur, which was being scrutinised by the European Commission over a controversial 182 million euro loan from the government. Barnabas told Europa Press this week that they hope to advertise a new operating franchise by the end of February and he expected the San Javier air­ port owner, AENA, to be one of the bidders.

MORE WORK

LOOKING GOOD

Spanish prices are falling at their fastest rate in five and a half years according to the lat­ est official figures. The lower prices – largely a result of cheaper oil globally – tempted Spaniards back into shops and pushed up retail sales for the Christmas and New Year season. The statistics office, INE, said that consumer prices were one point one per cent lower for December 2014 compared to a year ear­ lier. This represents a decrease for the sixth consec­ utive month, and shows a greater fall than expected due to the decreasing fuel prices.

Estefania Ponte, an analyst at Madrid­based broker Cortal

Consors, said: “These figures clearly reflect the fall in oil prices which, from the point of view of the consumer, has given a little more disposable income, and Spaniards in general prefer to consume than to save.”

She added that Spain is unlikely, however, to enter a destructive deflationary spiral in which consumers delay their spending in the hope for further price falls in the near future. “We don’t expect defla­ tion in Spain,” she said.

The INE also said that retail sales rose 1.9% in November, compared to November 2013, showing the strongest rise in a year.

If you want to get on the housing ladder and are after a mortgage, then the advice is stay clear of Elche, as a new survey says the city is the toughest place in mainland Spain to get one! The study by la Agencia Negociadora de Productos Bancarios says that Elche scores the highest in difficulty for people wanting a mortgage as well as the amounts that are offered. The survey suggests that both the Valencia and Murcia regions are not easy for mortgage chasers, whilst in contrast, getting a deal is more straight­for­ ward around Madrid, the Basque Country, Catalonia, and Majorca.

TRAGIC JOURNEY

CATRAL MOVE

Catral could get a new community hall and outdoor shrine/garden as the local council is looking at converting an old school and chapel at la Arroba de La Madriguera. The project looks at creating a multipurpose building but is also being sensitive to the previous use of the chapel, which res­ idents have criticised the local council for many years about not restoring.

EXPENSIVE ELCHE

Spanish unemployment has recorded the sharpest drop since the country adopted the euro in 1999. There was a fall of more than 253,000 registered on the dole from December 2013 to December 2014, an annual drop of just over five per cent, according to government figures. Monthly jobless claims also fell by 64,405 for the last month of the year, rep­ resenting the second largest December decrease on record Meanwhile, the number of people registering as in work rose by 417,000 in 2014, the first annual increase since 2007. But in context, unemployment in Spain is the second­highest in the European Union, standing at 23.7 per cent, behind Greece.

Unemployment figures in Alicante Province fell by over six and half per cent during 2014, a reduction of close to 14 and a half thousand fewer registered on the dole. The Murcia region saw a rate fall of nearly six per cent, meaning that a near nine thousand reduction to the overall figures.

At least five illegal immigrants who were travelling on a small boat from Algeria to the Murcia coast are said to have died at the start of the week. The Guardia Civil(file photo) picked up 20 refugees that arrived at La Manga on Monday in two boats but were told by them that one vessel had sunk some 80 miles off the coast, with six survivors clambering to safety onto another already packed boat. The missing trav­ ellers were all male and aged between 25 and 45. 170 illegal immigrants landed in Murcia during 2014.

MORE HOMES

FARE DEAL You can travel to Madrid from Alicante or Villena rail sta­ tions for just over 19 euros this month on the high speed AVE services thanks to a special promotion from operator RENFE. They’ve slashed has slashed prices by up to 70% on a total of 750,000 tickets, which can be bought up to Sunday, January 18th for services running up to February 1st. The deals are valid for single and return trips on the long­ distance connections and high­speed AVE networks, among others. The cut­price tickets will be sold on a first­come, first­ served basis, with RENFE saying the promotion is part of its drive to promote rail travel in Spain.

NEW YEAR SHAKER

A 1.6 magnitude earth tremor hit Torrevieja in the early hours of last Friday morning (January 2nd). The small earth­ quake happened at 4.45am some seven miles offshore with two other tremors also being reported in the northern part of the Valencian region.

2014 saw a 40 per cent rise in the number of applications for new home builds in Torrevieja compared to the previous year. Torrevieja’s planning councillor, Francisco Moreno, said that were 778 requests last year for planning permission as opposed the figure of 558 in 2013. Moreno added that gen­ eral building permit requests had also shown a rise in 2014.

GOING UP

Rojales local police were called to an apartment block on Calle del Castillo on New Year’s Eve afternoon at around 4.15pm to help a person trapped in a lift, with his fingers actually caught in the door. The police used a crowbar to release the hand, with firefighters completing the rescue.

Friday 9th January 2015

OFF DUTY SAVE

A driver was seriously injured when his car smashed into a tree on the CV95 close to San Miguel de Salinas. No details about the man were revealed as The Courier went to press, but the incident happened on Wednesday evening. The driver apparently lost control of his vehicle on a bend with his car hitting the tree, and then rolled over into the middle of the road.

A Guardia Civil officer on his way to a nightshift in Torrevieja happened to witness the acci­ dent and called in the emergency services as well as signalling other drivers to take care with the vehicle straddling the CV95 in an area that was badly lit. The injured man, who was trapped in his vehicle, was taken to the intensive care unit of Torrevieja Hospital.

NICER HABANERAS

One of Torrevieja's main streets, la Avenida de las Habaneras, has a smarter look after work was completed on the roundabouts and the central reservation. The project was done by the Green Brigade of Torrevieja's Parks and Gardens department, which included new road markings and the use of colourful tiles for the central reservation.

TERROR WARNING

ISIS is a ‘serious threat’ to Spain’s national security, according to foreign minister Jose Manuel Garcia­Margallo. The Middle East and North Africa were named as the main security threats, with Garcia­Margallo adding that it is ‘a more complicated situation since the appearance of Isis’. He made his com­ ments as Spain took up its seat as a non­ permanent member of the UN’s security council which it will hold until 2016. “There is a high risk of contagion across the whole of north Africa, presenting a serious threat to our national security,” added Garcia­ Margallo.

OH, MR PORTER!

Retired British copper, Keith Porter, got the surprise of his life when he arrived recently at Alicante­Elche air­ port when officials greeted him with flowers, a VIP pass, and gifts as he was declared the 10 millionth passenger to use the El Altet facility in 2014. The 62 year old flew in from Stansted on a Ryanair service, and he travels to and from the UK on a regular basis to Mojacar in Almeria province.

DEATH TOLL FALL The number of people who died on Spain's roads fell to a record­low 1,131 in 2014 which was the lowest tally since record­keeping began in 1960. Last year also marked the first year that Spain saw less than one thousand fatal accidents on the country's roads, the new statistics reveal. There were 981 such acci­ dents last year. There was also a drop in the number of people seriously injured in 2014 — down from 5,278 in 2013 to 4,874 last year.

Spain's interior minister Jorge Fernández Díaz said it was become increasingly difficult to lower the road toll and that a target of zero road deaths was impossible. He said however that the country would continue to strive to bring down the road toll. Road deaths more than halved in European Union in the decade from 2001 to 2012 with Spain being the conti­ nent's greatest improver, due to better road infrastructure and greater awareness over the

dangers of drink driving as well as the need to cut down speed and to wear seat belts.

Alicante Province, including the Costa Blanca, bucked the downward trend by show­ ing a big rise in road deaths compared to 2013. The figures showed that 43 people were killed in 31 accidents, compared to 26 fatali­ ties in 23 incidents in the previous year. The worst incident (pictured) was last July on the AP7 near Cox when eight Romanians were killed in a collision between a minivan and a lorry.

In the Murcia region, the tragedy at la Venta del Olivo in November which saw the death of 14 pilgrims from the village of Bullas, dominat­ ed the accident figures for 2014. This meant that the number of road deaths in Murcia leapt to 59 as opposed to 50 in 2013, though the overall number of accidents on the region's roads fell sharply.

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Friday 9th January 2015

ONE-NIGHT STAND AT PUB

I WAS watching the telly at home with Mrs S last night when the telephone rang.

It was Dave the barman calling from the pub.

'Where are you, man?' he wanted to know.

'It's not man. This is woman speaking,' said Mrs S. 'Sorry,' said a sheepish Dave the barman. 'How are you doing, Mrs S?' 'She's doing fine,' I said, grab­ bing the phone. 'Indeed, she is treasuring a rare evening in with her husband. Don't you know there is more to life than propping up a bar every day? Now, if you'll excuse me, I am spending some quality time with my wife.'

I was just about to hang up when Dave the barman said: 'Suit your­ self, my friend, but I have already poured you a drink.'

'Give me 15 minutes,' I said and rushed off to fetch my coat. A quar­ ter of an hour later I removed my coat and proceeded to prop up the bar.

'So did you all have a good Christmas and New Year?' I asked anyone who was prepared to listen to me.

'Yes and no,' said Indoor Lou. 'No and yes,' said Fearful Phil.

Knowing that Lou and Phil had spent both Christmas and New Year together, I decided I did not want to become further embroiled in what threatened to be a conversational journey riddled with deep potholes.

And then the founder and former leader of our little hostelry discussion group made his presence felt.

Ol' Red Eyes, who these days spent most of his waking hours asleep on the pub floor, opened one rheumy peeper, surveyed his surroundings and declared: 'Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year. Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide–open heart that thinks of others first.'

'Awesome,' I mumbled respectfully. 'I couldn't have put it better myself.'

'Shut yer flaming gob!' barked Ol' Red Eyes. 'I'm talking here!'

'Now, now,' admonished Andromeda Arkwright, the lone woman in our group and

announced solemnly. 'I remember the days when people would come in here and buy drinks every 20 minutes or so. And with real money ­­ not with metal tap washers or pathetic, ingratiating verbal IOUs.' We all

our new leader who had deposed Ol' Red Eyes in a beer­ less coup. 'Let us try to remember that we are a democratic unit and that anyone, even Dave Silver, is allowed to speak.'

Ol' Red Eyes lowered the lid on his one exposed pupil and started to nod off but not before growling in Andromeda's direction: 'Everything was okay in this pub until the arrival of that bint.'

Dave the barman shook his head sadly.

'Times have indeed changed,' he

burst out laughing at that one. Dave the bar­ man had a lovely dry sense of humour.

'Anyway,' said Daft Barry suddenly. 'I can't wait for Christmas. How many days is it to go?'

I must confess that all of us were shocked at that question. Daft Barry had lost either his calendar or his mind or even both.

'But Barry,' we chorused. 'It's January 8th.

Christmas has come and gone. Don't you remember?'

'Of course I remember,' retorted the most

junior member of our pub pals pack. 'I was asking how long to go to NEXT Christmas. I might be daft but I'm not stupid.'

'Au contraire, Barry,' uttered a wheezy voice coming from somewhere below us.

'Stupid happens to be a synonym for daft. I know this because I used to be an English teacher.'

Yes, it was Ol' Red Eyes who had made the pronouncement. He was still stretched out on the floor but appeared to have fully regained con­ sciousness because both peepers were open and his nostrils were twitching.

And then the strangest thing hap­ pened. Ol' Red Eyes lurched to his feet and began to stagger slowly towards the bar. What an amazing sight. Most of us had known Ol' Red Eyes for years but some of us had never before seen him walk.

Ol' Red Eyes lurched onwards and eventually reached the counter where Dave the barman waited, open­mouthed, in apparent awe at what was going to happen next.

And what happened next was this: Ol' Red Eyes dug deep into the pocket of his crushed jacket and pro­ duced a handful of jangling coins.

'A pint of your finest mulled claret,' croaked Ol' Red Eyes.

Dave the barman looked down at the small pile of coins on the bar­ top. 'No can do,' he said.

'Are you telling me my money is no good in here?' thundered Ol' Red Eyes.

'Correct,' said Dave the barman. 'Your money hasn't been good in here since 1971 when decimal currency was introduced.

Take back these defunct coins and find me some proper cash.'

But Ol' Red Eyes never heard him. He was already back on the floor, snoring loud­ ly.

'I'm going home,' I sighed. 'Here, get Ol' Red Eyes a drink when, or if, he wakes up again.' And I threw a handful of metal tap washers onto the bar.

Friday 9th January 2015

7

HOLA TOURISTS ADIOS BARCLAYS Tourism looks set to soar in Spain in 2015 thanks to low oil prices and a global market upturn, as holidays for this year could cost half as much as 2014, with some airfares already slashed by half.

Spain is still the number one destination for Brits, according to Travel Supermarket, and Easter flights to Spain have already seen up to 50% discounts. Travel industry

experts say the discounts will cover the Easter and summer holidays too, with visi­ tors also able to take advantage of the best Euro/Sterling exchange rates for a number of years.

The International Air Transport Association (IATA) has said that the lower oil prices com­ bined with stronger worldwide financial growth are the main reasons for the savings.

Barclays has completed the sale of its Spanish arm – at a £500million loss. The UK high street giant revealed in August that it would be offloading the subsidiary to Barcelona­based Caixa Bank as part of plans to shrink its sprawling business and bol­ ster its finances. At the time, it warned it would lose £500million, including £100million on sale comple­ tion.

That moment arrived last week when it confirmed that the deal had been rubber­stamped by regulators in the UK and Spain. The deal gives CaixaBank 550,000 customers, 262 branches and about 2,400 extra staff. Barclays is hanging on to its investment bank and Barclaycard business in Spain.

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Friday 9th January 2015

WORRYING WALK

Pilar de la Horadada's Paseo Sardinero is being severely eroded by the sea and needs urgent attention, according to local residents who have complained to the local council. The walkway, built on eight metre foundations, links the Las Villas area with Torre de la Horadada, with the local neighbourhood group saying that the battering of the sea waves has left the walkway vulnerable to collapse.

BROKEN CAR PLEDGE BOOST

The Pader opposition group on Rojales council has accused the ruling socialist group of strangling the development of Heredades village. They say that promises to construct a pavement alongside the Rojales­Heredades road made in 2013 have not been kept.

Spanish new car sales rose by 21.4 per cent in a year compared to December 2013, according to figures from the car manufac­ turers association, Anfac. The organisation said that last December showed a 16th con­ secutive month of growth.

The December figure compared to a 17.4 per cent rise in November, helped by an ongoing subsidy programme. The govern­ ment announced that it was extending the Plan PIVE scheme that offers price cuts on new low­emission vehicles for the seventh time at the beginning of November

FIRES DOWN

Despite a record hot summer, the amount of areas hit by forest fires in 2014 was the lowest in a decade. Government figures show that 46 thousand hectares were hit until the end of November, compared to 70 thousand hectares in the same period in 2013. The north­west­ ern part of Spain accounted for over 40 per cent of fires, with just over 20 per cent in the Costa Blanca and Costa del Sol areas.

FIRST GAGA

The first baby of 2015 to be born at Torrevieja Hospital appeared just before 4.00pm on Thursday January 1st, weighing in at just over three and a half kilos. The boy, Yosaf Kerkour, made his parents Sarah and Mokthar from Formentera del Segura have the perfect start to the year.

FREE WI

Free internet access at Spain’s airports has increased by 76% in the past year, according to market researchers Kubi Wireless. The survey says that use of free Wi­Fi increased the most year­on­year in Bilbao airport, by 320%, although this is the case in practically all of Spain’s 28 terminals. Until last Christmas, airport governing body AENA only offered 15 min­ utes of free internet in terminals, but has now doubled it. This means that Wi­Fi is free for 30 minutes and at €1.50 per hour thereafter at Alicante­Elche and San Javier airports.

CLOSURE CLAIM

A new law has kicked in which many small business owners and retailers across Spain say will force them to shut up shop. As of the start of the year, a change in rental law sees rent controls scrapped to allow landlords to raise rents to whatever they want. More than 200 thousand family­owned stores, bars and restaurants are affected by the law change and 55 thousand are said to be set to close within the next three months, according to various lobby groups. Spokespeople for the independent traders are also claiming that the lifting of the 20­ year­old rental cap will lead to around 120 thousand joining the dole queue in a country which already has a 24% unemployment rate. Luis de Guindos, the Economy Minister, has rub­ bished their figures and suggestions, adding that the law passed in 1995, ‘gave businesses two decades to get ready for the scrapping of rent controls’.

Friday 9th January 2015

9

10

Friday 9th January 2015

LOCAL LOOK-IN

DOUBLE VICTORY

Two local golfers have come up top of the pile in a regional tournament. Simon Foster and Emilio Rodriguez Aguilera won the recent Professional Doubles Championships of the Comunidad Valenciana at the Foressos Club, which saw 64 players taking each over on in fourball format. Simon and Emilio won with a score of 65, seven under par. Foster(pictured left) is in charge of LGCEvents.com which specialises in luxury golf events and has set up a golf academy at Vista Bella for youngsters whilst and golf professional Rodriguez Aguilera plays out of Villamartin Golf Club.

HAPPY RASCALS

The Rascals team recently let their hair down after a busy year of performing and fund­raising, ahead of starting up rehearsals yesterday for their next produc­ tion “Both Sides of the Pond” which will fea­ ture a mixture of British and American music. The Rascals are essentially a group of like­minded people who enjoy raising money for local charity, by rehearsing and performing musical variety shows in Los Montesinos, Torrevieja and other local the­ atres.

In Los Montesinos they presented a hos­

pital bed, hoist and wheelchair to the local social services, whilst in Torrevieja just over one thousand euros was donated to APA­ NEE. Presents were bought for the stu­ dents of ALPE and given out at their annual Christmas party and a donation of food was taken to San Miguel for the poor.

“Both Sides of the Pond” will be per­ formed in May and June, and anybody who is interested in joining the group as a dancer or singer or as a member of the sup­ port staff, then phone Jill on 966 727 282 or look on the website www.therascals.org

PETANCA ON PARADE

A bunch of local petanca players decided to get into the seasonal spirit this week by taking part in the Orihuela Costa Three Kings parade, but in a cunning set of disguises! The Costa Knights came along in all shapes and sizes to keep up the recent tradition of petanca players getting involved in all the fun and games, with team member Janice coming up with the idea of everybody wearing onesies!

TICKLED PINK

Brave lady Becci Strickleton decided to go the whole way to raise money to fight cancer as she had her hair shaved into a Mohican­style, and then to top it all, she had it dyed pink and got the anti­cancer rib­ bon shaved into one of her sides! Becci took the plunge in support of her friend Maggie who is going through chemotherapy in her fight against breast cancer. All the hair­ raising and removing work was done by Paul from Tiger Feet Hair and Beauty. The event at the La Fuente Commercial Centre near Campoamor has to date raised over twelve hundred euros through sponsorship and a raffle held on the day by Maria and the Pink Ladies, with the proceeds to be donated to the AECC cancer charity.

ANIMAL NIGHT

The S.A.T. Animal Rescue charity is looking for support for its next fund­raising night at the end of the month in Benimar. Studz Bar will be the venue for a night of music featuring the rock and pop duo, Ventura Highway, on Saturday January 31st between 8.30 and midnight.

The price of tickets is just five euros each and that includes food as well as the entertainment.

S.A.T. is a non­ profit making organisation who raise their funds from events such as din­ ner dances, dog shows, charity sales, fairs and of course, donations! The money is used to keep their kennels in Dolores going(pictured). Tickets for the Benimar event are on sale at Studz Bar and also from any of the charity’s shops across the area.

11

Friday 9th January 2015

LOCAL LOOK-IN

FOOD FOR THOUGHT BARNSTORMING Sue Gibson of Suzi4fitz and one of her team, Elaine Walker had the pleasant task of presenting one thousand euros to buy food vouchers for the needy of Los Montesinos. The Mayor, Jose Manuel Butron, accepted the donation and took them along to a local supermarket to pres­ ent the money to the manager who agreed that 50 vouchers of 20 Euros each would be produced. The money was raised by the Suzi4fitz and Friends Evening of Entertainment that Sue produced at the School of Music and Culture in the town back in November.

LONG DISTANCE RESCUE

RAFFLES

The Alzheimer’s Mar Menor Association (AMMA) got a lift recently when repre­ sentatives from the Grendels Bane folk group came along to their meeting at the Pensioners Club in San Pedro del Pinatar where they handed over the proceeds of their raffles at two barn dances. AMMA has been going now for some 18 months and after the festive break, has re­started their twice­weekly meetings on a Wednesday and Friday in San Pedro. The get­togeth­ ers have worked well as an example of integration between the Spanish and British communities, with sessions run by two trained Spanish people helped by some English volunteers. Pictured are Bob and Steve from Grendels Bane presenting 174 euros to AMMA President Raquel Peña and Secretary Louise Innes.

FORMBY’S FINAL FAREWELL The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre at Rojales has cast its net further afield in a joint operation to rescue a group of severely malnourished horses and donkeys from a Granada breeding yard. At least one foal was found dead at the property, and other animals were allegedly moved before the authorities could act. Police were alerted to the case by Malaga­based donkey rescue charity El Refugio del Burrito, which teamed up with the Rojales Centre to save the ani­ mals left behind. At least four donkeys were taken into custody and El Refugio del Burrito then paid to truck four horses from Granada to Rojales.

“They can’t just take the donkeys and leave the horses – every animal has to be removed if there’s a court order,” Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre co­founder Sue Weeding said.

“Basically, if we didn’t take these horses, all of these animals would be left there to suffer because the courts can’t hand them over to places that aren’t registered charities and there just aren’t that many registered charities around that take horses.”

The Rojales Centre is now permanently caring for the rescued stallion and three mares – all of which were all later found to be pregnant and will likely give birth early this year.

“You wouldn’t even know they’re in foal, they’re so thin,” Sue said.

The Centre was also called to save a pony closer to home, after he was found aban­ doned near the Callosa de Segura football stadium.

“He is full of worms and has a big scar on his head but he’s eating well,” Sue added.

BOX OF DELIGHTS

The local Caritas charity got a recent boost thanks to the annual ‘Shoe Box’ appeal, launched by the A n g l i c a n Chaplaincy of Torrevieja. From church members and their many friends of pres­ ents for a wide age range of chil­ dren were col­ lected which were distributed over the festive season

Lancashire Toreador George Formby's final days with fiancée Pat Howson are to be revealed in a book by Los Montesinos based author Andrew Atkinson.

Formby ­ named bull­fight­ ing hero Don Pedro in the song Lancashire Toreador ­ died 53 years ago, leaving £2.24m in his Will.

"It's ironic that 45 years after passing Formby's Georgian Mansion House in Lea, Preston, on my weekly fishing outings, that I'm pen­ ning this book," said Andrew, who besides living in Spain, also spends time in Penwortham, Preston ­ where Formby suffered a heart attack while dining at the Howson family home in 1961. "The story is right on

my door­step!" added Preston born Andrew.

Ukelele legend Formby died, aged 56, in March 1961 ­ three months after his wife Beryl's death.

"Eight days into their engagement George Formby and Pat Howson dined by candle light.

However Formby com­ plained of stomach pains ­ and was taken to St. Joseph's Hospital, Preston.

During Pat's visit on March 6 1961, she spoke to George, while sat at his bedside, about their forthcoming wed­ ding plans," said Andrew.

Hours later George Formby died ­ of a massive heart attack. Their wedding day was set for March 1961 ­ and a honeymoon cruise to

the West Indies was booked: "Pat's dad Fred Howson was a personal friend of Formby, whom he sold cars to. Fred would never have imagined that his daughter was set to marry him," commented Andrew.

In his will, George Formby left Pat Howson £135,000 – worth around £2.24m today ­ that was contested by his mother Eliza, and two sis­ ters. Formby's mum had labelled Pat a 'floosie' ­ a woman of no morals! Pat Howson died of cancer, aged 46, in 1971.

If you are interested in buying the book, e­mail the author Andrew Atkinson for further details at: lancashire­ media@talktalk.net

12

Friday 9th January 2015

JUNIOR IS ON TARGET

For my first column of the year, I’m doing a bit of multi­taskin watching Match of the Day. I have start­ ed watching it without knowing the day’s scores, so it makes for even more interesting viewing than nor­ mal. My team is West Ham United. Always has been and always will be. Upton Park used to be my second home, and I used to beg, steal and borrow to go and watch the Hammers every Saturday! The reason West Ham has always been important to me is that they became the male influence in my life, after my mum and dad split up when I was just four years old.

But right now as I await West Ham’s turn on Match of the Day, I have a black and brown dog sleeping on my lap. I want to go and get another beer from the fridge, but I just can’t, as he looks so comfortable! I stare at him, while the pundits are analysing another match. His nails have been neat­ ly trimmed. I love his little black pads on his feet. I give them a little squeeze, a squeeze of absolute love. His coat is now improving and he has put on some much needed weight. But what is the history of this dog? Who is he and where did he come from?

We have called this little man, Junior. One day driving up to our land where we work with the dogs, someone had thrown him over the fence in the mid­ dle of the night. Someone threw this little bundle of love and loyalty away, just like they would throw away their daily rubbish. He was in a poor condi­ tion, but with love and dedication, we have him looking like the superstar he was always meant to be. As he sleeps on my lap, I stroke his little head and totally appreciate this gift that God has sent us.

He needed love and looking after and, well, we have lots of that. That’s what we do and will contin­ ue to do until our final breath. As I stroke him, I won­

DANI

JUNIOR. NOT A PIECE OF RUBBISH

der what he has been through in his life. I wonder how he was treated in all of his years. If someone could do such a despicable act of throwing him away, which is what they did, what else did this beautiful dog have to endure throughout his life?

Right now all he is enduring, is a big cuddle with his new dad, after having a meal of the best kibble money can buy, mixed with fresh sardines and extra virgin olive oil. He is now getting the love he and every ani­ mal on this earth deserves and he will continue receiving this dedication. His eyes look at me as if they are trying to tell me a story. He is almost trying to convey to me how life was so difficult, but now he can’t believe the love he receives, the soft, clean, warm bed he sleeps on at night, the food he now eats and most importantly the daily love he gets that he did not know existed. He is vulnerable, he is a little nerv­ ous at times and maybe a little insecure, but he is now our responsibility and very soon, those negative emo­ tions will fade away, as does a cloud on a sunny day.

A human threw this dog away as you would a bag of rubbish. I feel very sorry for the human that did this, because to do such a thing means they do not know true beauty when they see it and it also means they have a very negative state of mind. A negative state of mind threw away a very positive state of mind ­ how silly. www.thedogyouneed.com is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused ani­ mals. Our charity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you.

PETS CORNER : CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

Archie was found in a derelict house with his mum and siblings He will be medi­ um sized, and his mum can be seen. He is fully vaccinat­ ed and will soon be pass­ ported etc. Phone 634 065 540 or contact lasthopedo­ grescue@outlook.com.

phone the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com

BUSTER

MERLIN

size when fully grown. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsin­ spain.com

and healthy youngster with a sunny personality who has been blood tested, fully vac­ cinated (including rabies) and micro chipped; he has also been recently castrat­ ed. Please call 966 710 047 or send an email to info@satanimalrescue.com

LISA

ARCHIE Buster is a small eight year dog who loves people and children, although he has not been used to those that are very young. He has been castrated and house­ trained, and walks well on the lead and loves attention.

Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es Dotty was found near some busy roads in Rojales, and is around eight weeks old. She’s full and fun and may be small to medium

DOTTY Lisa was rescued from the Perrera and she was terri­ fied when she was rescued.

Lisa is still nervous but she is ready to move on to a home of her own. Lisa is very good with other dogs and she is also good with cats. Lisa once she knows you is a very gentle very lov­ ing dog. For more informa­ tion about Lisa please tele­

Merlin is a 10 month old small crossbreed and weighs around 8.5 kilos; a happy, affectionate and healthy boy who walks beautifully on the lead and would love to be settled in a loving home. He is fully vac­ cinated/passport, micro chipped and castrated so if you think Merlin would fit into your family then please contact the SAT kennels in Dolores on 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalres­ cue.com Ollie is a nine month old crossbreed who came to the SAT kennels in Dolores in September. He is a happy

OLLIE Perla's foster parent is moving on January 31st and we need to find a foster home or a permanent home

for her before then. She is an adorable little dog, very loving but has been left alone for long periods of time by her pre­ vious owners and needs someone who will spend time with her and give her lots of love. She is about three years old and will make someone a loyal pet.

Ring the Cats N Dogs Aid Association on 616 655 789 for more details.

ARCHIE

Friday 9th January 2015

13

YEAR OF DECISION

There are two phrases about British General Elections that drive me into hysterics and we get them rolled out every few years or so: ­ 1. This will be the most impor­ tant General Election in a gener­ ation.

2. This will be the most impor­ tant General Election since the war.

Guess what? We’re not even a fortnight into 2015, and I’ve heard senior British politicians trundling out these stupid clichés already, ahead of the big vote in May. These patronising sen­ tences, which I’ve heard used throughout my forty­plus years of being involved in politics/political coverage, really ought to be con­ signed to the dustbin of history, but do start your own count of them as you follow the events unfold in the UK media. I’ve heard David Cameron use both phrases so far this year!

Thank heavens we’re in Spain, because this really does have the potential to be one of the most drawn out and nas­ tiest campaigns in modern political history, but the fun part is that we actually don’t really have a clue as to what is going to happen. There are only two certainties in my opinion.

Firstly, either the Tories or Labour will be the largest single party in the House of Commons, and secondly, neither will have enough seats to form a majority government on their

own. Depending on how the votes have been cast, we could be in for some horse­trading involving the Lib Dems or even the SNP. Think about this one. Labour edge out the Tories to become the largest party, and having lost a stack of seats north of the border to the SNP, they then strike a deal with the Scottish Nationalists at Westminster. Watch the balloon go up in England as the SNP try to run the British govern­ ment: ­ hilarious, but not a fanciful scenario!

If the Tories get the most seats, the SNP will not touch

them, which will bring the Lib Dems into play, but how many seats will they actually have left?

Nick Clegg’s broken student loan pledge of five years ago still hurts among younger voters.

Note that I’m not getting terribly worked up over UKIP. They are not like Podemos in Spain (to put mildly). As a new political force UKIP are a distant third in the UK opinion polls, and a reminder again that voting in a Parliamentary election on a “first past the post” system as opposed to a by­election protest vote on a low turnout, means that the dice are always loaded in favour of the Tories and Labour. Remember that the great British public voted AGAINST electoral changes nearly four years ago, which would have been a big boost now for UKIP!!

Dare I risk a prediction? As an election comes closer, vot­ ers revert to type, and I expect to see both Tory and Labour numbers rise when it comes to the crunch, and the winner will come from the party that manages to get the most back from the UKIP fold. Tory voters have a habit of drifting back home when it matters, so I tip (somewhat nervously), that David Cameron will be leading the largest party after the next election. That doesn’t necessarily mean though that he’s forming the next government!

14

Friday 9th January 2015

FESTIVE MADNESS IS TOO MUCH

Isn’t it weird that horrible things happen frequently around Christmas time? The festive season just gone has been no exception, what with the death of a plane load of people in the Far East; a ferry catching fire in the Adriatic; a multiple shooting in Canada; a two­ year­old shooting and killing a mother in Walmart in the US; a stampede of revellers in China killing dozens; and the most bizarre event of all, namely people traffickers aiming a ship full of asylum seekers towards the Italian coast after abandoning the vessel! Increasingly, I think the world is going stark star­ ing mad. Does collective madness increase over the festive period? Sadly, when it comes to the Brits, we spend a fortune in an obses­ sion to buy everything that is offered in high street sales; we buy a mountain of food and throw much of it away uneaten after Xmas, and we try to keep up with the Joneses in buying the entire toy store to lavish the world on the kids. Christmas was a Roman or pagan festival to mark the turning of the seasons and looking for­ ward to longer daylight and warmer times. Christ was probably born some time in Spring, but no­one knows for sure. The two celebra­ tions were joined together, which doesn´t really make much sense. But neither does much of humanity!

Now, what can you expect from me in my column in 2015? More of the same, I guess. So you´re going to get more on me bashing big fat cat company bosses; attacking equally greedy trade unions; and showing you all how contemptible politicians are ­ especially those who profess to be good left­wing Socialists and then send their offspring to private schools and rush to private health rather than

the NHS when they person­ ally suffer poor health. How anyone can vote for such people beats me.

So, let´s start on the first of my hates ­ damnable bosses who care nothing of their staff and everything about themselves. And the perfect example of this is that apology of an executive of Korean Air, Cho Hyun­ah.

This selfish cow, the daugh­ ter of Korean Air's chief executive, was on one of her planes and ordered it to turn back on the runway in New York after nuts were served to her in a bag, not on a plate. The spoilt prat is accused of physically assaulting the chief steward, who says she made him kneel and beg for forgive­ ness before jabbing him with a document folder. Ms Cho, also known as Heather Cho, has already apologised and resigned as head of the air­ line's flight service. She is now being charged with vio­ lating aviation safety law and impeding crew in their duties. Good. What she needs is a few weeks in prison so she has to rub shoulders with "lesser mor­ tals".

The next example of com­ pany arrogance comes in

the shape of Network Rail, which displayed total disre­ gard to travellers over Christmas by allowing engi­

neering works to overrun at Kings Cross.

Thousands of passengers were inconvenienced and suffered many hours of delays. When a company fails so spectacularly like this, it should be forced to pay huge amounts of money in compensation and suffer large fines. That would exer­ cise the tiny minds of board members not to make prom­ ises they cannot keep (or think more of their interests than those of their cus­ tomers). The boss of Network Rail later announced he was forgoing his bonus this year because of the fiasco. Bonus? Why the hell should any boss get bonuses? Do any of the workforce in Network Rail get bonuses? I shouldn´t think so. This is another example of the crap which has come from America. It´s about time bonus culture was ended in board rooms and everywhere else.

People should be paid and paid well for what they do ­ and if they perform badly, then they´re out on their ear ­ simple as that. And if a

boss is greedy enough to demand a bonus, then so should every member of staff ­ everyone, or no­one.

It was good to see the results of a YouGov survey over the holiday which showed the Queen and the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge voted as the

public figures who provide Britons with the most 'moral leadership'. The poll asked respondents to choose three or four names from a list of public personalities who they believed showed strong

moral leadership. At least 34 per cent chose the Queen and she was followed by her grandson Prince William, and his wife Kate who claimed 30 per cent of the vote. When the public were asked to choose which polit­ ical leader displayed the most moral leadership, it was Nigel Farage who came out on top with a huge mar­ gin of 39 per cent, with David Cameron managing only 8% and Ed Miliband 5%. But perhaps most sur­ prising of all was the very poor showing of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, who notched up only 15% of the vote. It emphasises how much the influence and respect of the Church has waned in Britain over recent decades. A recent survey has shown that a mere 800 thousand people out of a 60 million plus population fill the Sunday pews of the Church of England. The church has been doing itself no favours

madness when people went bonkers spending in the shops and on line. Hardly a picture of people starving.

But in the last day or two we´re hearing stories of people in financial trouble because they have spent more money on credit cards than they can reply. Stupid or what?

recently, joining forces with Miliband and Ed Balls to try to convince the country that millions of people are so hard up they are forced to use food banks to avoid starvation. With less than 7% of the population unem­ ployed, the picture of Britain in absolute poverty is ridicu­ lous. It is true that some people are hard up. But how many of these burn their money in cigarettes; or drink themselves senseless; or gamble their cash away; or are so stupid with money they have to spend it as soon as or even before they get it, borrowing from pay­ day loan companies? It´s also true that far too many people have come to rely on benefits, rather than help themselves to a better and more rewarding future.

We´ve seen the true finan­ cial picture of Britain in Black Friday and all the other days of commercial

expand their territory. "There is an enthusiasm that I've never seen before in war­ zones," he said. "They are so confident, so sure of themselves. At the begin­ ning of this year, few people knew of IS. But now they have conquered an area the size of the UK. This is a one per cent movement with the power of a nuclear bomb or a tsunami."

If this isn´t a wake­up call to the rest of the world, then nothing is. IS is an appalling threat and not just to the Middle East. There are sym­ pathisers embedded in the UK and no doubt here in Spain too. If this group isn´t stopped in its tracks and eliminated, goodness knows what state the world will be in at the end of 2015 because IS doesn´t want to stop in just controlling Syria and Iraq, it wants the world ­ that´s why it´s so danger­ ous.

One of the most alarming stories to emerge over the holiday involved a German author allowed into territory controlled by Islamic State.

His findings were that the group is stronger, more bru­ tal and harder to confront than he had expected.

Jurgen Todenhofer said he found IS followers highly motivated and supportive of the group's brutality and he saw how the group imposes its extreme version of Sunni Islam. Todenhofer said he was struck by their brutal zeal, and the scale of their ambition to carry out "reli­ gious cleansing" and to

15

Friday 9th January 2015

THE ONE RESOLUTION I’VE MADE

So here we are over a week into a brand new year, one that promises to be filled with excitement and fun, and just a few months of sun! I know some people feel slightly depressed at this time with another year seemingly flown by and we are all that little bit older! In a few days’ time, I will cele­ brate another birthday and will have to remind myself of that different digit when asked my age, although as my son has a habit of telling everyone how old I am, I always tell him I´m 21!

When I hit 40, I decided that I wasn´t going to get older until I hit the big 5 – 0 there­ fore I am still 40 and will remain so for a few years yet, and in that way age doesn´t seem such a big thing. That said, I don´t mind the age I am at the moment, as I quite like being in my early 40´s, I have everything I hoped I would have; a comfortable life; beautiful happy children; a nice house; and I´m living here in Spain! Ten years ago this was just a dream! In early 2005, I was planning my

move and had no idea what to expect, so this year I will be enjoying my tenth anniversary of living here and having a little celebra­ tion. Yes it´s true the time seems to have gone past very quickly but I have cer­ t a i n l y packed a lot into those ten years and I hope as we ring in the New Year for 2025, that this coming decade will be full of memories.

The last ten years were at times fun and at others hor­ rible. I had some terrible years but also some great ones and they are the years that I choose to remember. I know that 2015 will be a good one, as I have so

much to look forward to and as long as my children and I

there is one thing that we are capable of choosing and

have our health, then every­ thing will be fine.

I hope you have the same kind of optimistic outlook over 2015. There are some things in life that are out of our hands like our health and maybe our job, but

that´s to enjoy our life.

Whatever the year throws at us it is our responsibility to face it and treat it with the respect it deserves.

Over Christmas I was reminded more than once of all those children both here

and abroad that don´t get to enjoy the festive period as they are from poor or abusive families, or are living in poverty in a war torn country. We have to be reminded I think, from time to time, how lucky we are to be who we are.

To these children, we have it all.

E v e n though to us life is some­ times a struggle, but it´s nothing compared to what oth­ ers are going through. I remember my darkest Christmas, being in a flat with no hot water; not much money for presents or food; but just me and my boy and as reflect, I see how far I have come in just a few

years and feel a sense of pride that a couple of weeks ago, my son had all the presents he wanted, plus a few for the Three Kings ear­ lier this week!

I never make New Year resolutions as I always find them a waste of time and something that I will forget to keep, but I did make one this time round! I made a prom­ ise to myself to not only make this year the best for me, my son and daughters, but also to help people who can´t help themselves, whether it´s the very young or very old, or even an ani­ mal. I will teach my son that it´s important to care for oth­ ers and not just yourself, and that there are more important things in life than your bank balance and inter­ net access. I really hope I can live up to my promise, and I will keep you all informed throughout the year of what I manage to achieve to this aim, and I hope you all have a fantastic 2015 and remember if life hands you lemons, cut them up and suck them with a shot of tequila!

16

Friday 9th January 2015

Spanish 154

Hola y feliz año nuevo. Espero que hayáis pasado una navidad genial y que en el dos mil quince recibáis todo lo que se merecéis.

Este año es el vuestro para practicar y mejorar vuestro español, espero que al final del año podáis hablar y escribir muy bien y tengáis muchos amigos españoles.

Aprovéchense este país y toda su gente, los españoles son muy amables y si podéis hablar con ellos verán como son.

Durante del año voy a escribir más en español y aunque ya he estado escribiendo durante tres años estos artículos aún queda todavía mucho por aprender y practicar.

También espero que intenten leer y escribir porque es la manera más fácil de entender las palabras y mejorar el idioma. Enero es un mes para pensar en el futuro, en lo que queréis lograr y en lo que podéis conseguir. La vida pasa bastante rápida y cada año parece más corto. En enero nuestros pensamientos están llenos de esperanzas, es como un libro que aún no está escrito y vosotros sois los autores. Tenéis el destino en vuestras manos y solo vosotros podéis asegurar un año feliz y realizar todos vue­ stros sueños. Hacer que el año 2015 sea el mejor y aprovechen cada día y cada mes, daros un año de buenos momentos, para que en diciembre del 2015 tengáis mucho que recordar con una sonrisa. Recuerden que para mejorar vuestro español tenéis que salir y hablar, encuentren la fuerza para hablar en español con su médico, con la gente en su tienda, con los camareros españoles y con cualquiera que podéis. Es importante practicar, no solo por las palabras sino también para la pronunciación y entonación. El español es fácil de pronunciar cuando tengáis los sonidos de cada letra y recuerda que en español se pronuncian todas las silabas, no es como el inglés que las palabras de tres silabas se unen juntas cuando hablamos, el español es más claro, por eso debería ser más fácil entender si escuchan bien.

Throughout the past three years I have been giving you many different lessons and helping you to improve your

Spanish. However in the end it has to be down to you as there is only so much I can do on the keys of a computer.

The real work is yours and for those of you who have been learning for more than two years and still can´t hold a basic conversation, I would ask yourself why? After two years of study you should expect to be at least able to ask for cer­ tain things and have a basic chat with anyone. If not you need to ask yourself why, and I will guarantee the answer will be because you are not practising enough. It´s not good enough to go to a lesson once or twice a week and do nothing in the meantime, as you´re wasting your money and your teacher´s time. Any good teacher will have enough students to not need those who aren´t serious. I can see in my Spanish and English classes those students who work in their free time and those who do nothing and the difference is amazing. Remember as well, it´s all very well to be able to read and write in Spanish but if you can´t speak you are missing out on the fundamental reason most of you are learning:­that is to be able to order food in a restaurant; to be able to speak to your doctor; your child´s teacher; the shop assistant; or whomever. We need to be able to have a conversation in Spanish and as I keep

repeating, the only way to get better is to do it!

Make 2015 the year that you speak Spanish, start now and, if you do something nearly every day, by December you will be speaking Spanish. Imagine the pride you´ll feel as you chat casually in front of your non­Spanish speaking friends and neighbours. I guarantee they will feel a bit jeal­ ous of your ability to converse in a relaxed, carefree way.

Do it because you want to. Do it because you live in Spain. Do it because it´s the right thing to do, but overall do it because you have been accepted into this country and it´s an integral part of the culture.

Make it fun, make it interesting, make it something you look forward to doing, and you will find it becomes less of a chore and something that can grow with you as you pass the months, keeping your brain active and your mind alert.

I hope you will join me throughout 2015 as we cover the basics of Spanish to the more advanced, repeating some lessons and learning new things, revising and learning, but remember the only things I can´t help you with are listening and speaking, that´s down to you! ¡Feliz año nuevo! ¡Os deseo todo merecéis en dos mil quince!

Friday 9th January 2015

17

Friday 9th January 2015

18

FLYING DUTCHMAN GROUNDED

Two Dutch nationals who tried to smuggle 42 kilos of cocaine into Spain via Alicante­Elche airport have been sentenced to seven and a half years each in jail. The two men were found guilty of crimes against public health at their trial in Elche. The drugs were being smuggled in from Argentina on a freight flight in a trunk with a false bottom which was said to contain video and camera equipment on the false premise that the men had returned from Latin America having shot material for a magazine article.

KIDNAP CON

Three people have been arrested for fak­ ing a kidnapping with the "victim" being threatened with death or being used as a prostitute in Murcia. Two people were arrest­ ed in El Ejido, whilst a third was collared as they arrived from Ceuta in North Africa. The authorities got involved when a Moroccan woman living in Malaga reported the kidnap­ ping of her brother’s girlfriend and the demand of 50 thousand euros for the woman’s release.

During the investigation the complainant reported that her future sister­in­law, who lives in Ceuta, had travelled to Almeria for a check­up. The woman had decided to stay in Almeria for a few days when she was report­ ed to have been abducted. Further research showed that the kidnapped woman had claimed she was receiving physical and sex­ ual abuse and stated that she was in fear for her life. Telephone calls and photographs included shouting and crying from the alleged victim and statements that she was chained to a bed. The Malaga woman had not met the kidnapped woman, although she

had previously spoken by phone to her sev­ eral times. The Guardia Civil identified a farmhouse in El Ejido where they found the kidnapped woman and found out that her detention was part of a stitch­up.

DON’T BE FOOLED

People have been warned about the dangers of falling for various telephone and internet scams in a new campaign run by the National Police.

Telephone numbers that start with 80 or consist on only five digits, false fines for downloading material with mobile devices, fake job offers or supposed bargains which turn out to be scams are amongst the cybercrimes that use social media and other websites to fool their victims.

Mobile applications such as WhatsApp have been a constant source of scams during the past year. National Police offi­ cers have stressed the importance of not sending personal information through this app, or resending messages if we are not sure of its original source.

The experts at the Technological Investigation Unit have detected a higher risk for scams through online gambling

sites. The advertising of ‘official’ telephone numbers, belonging to big companies or citizens’ services, which could charge the user with up to 11 euros per minute have also increased.

To avoid being conned, the National Police is advising people to use their best judgment and a ‘rational suspicion’ when dealing with bargains that seem too good to be true. In addition, it is advised to carry out payments through secure platforms.

It is also important to be careful with missed calls from numbers that start with 905 and job offers that request the victims to first carry out a payment, as this is usu­ ally a sign of scam. As for smart phones, tablets and computers, it is recommended to protect them with official programmes and regularly update their systems to avoid spyware and other malicious soft­ ware.

UBER HALTS

Popular web­based taxi company Uber has suspended its amateur driver service in Spain after it received confirmation of a court ruling to ban it in the country.

UberPOP, which allows non­professional drivers with their own cars to take on pas­ sengers at budget rates, via a mobile app, started in Spain in April.

"We've temporarily suspended UberPOP in Spain while we appeal the ruling and study new options to allow Spanish people access to safe and com­ fortable journeys," Carlos Lloret, the head of Uber in Spain, wrote in a blog post.

Uber was “working with Spanish politi­ cians to develop new regulations”, he added, underlining that the company "respects the law". The American company had vowed to keep operating after a Spanish judge ordered the suspension of the service at the start of last month in a case brought by taxi drivers.

GRAPES OF WRATH

A cock up by Andalucia's main public TV channel caused outrage from viewers when last week's traditional chiming in of the New Year was hi­jacked by commercials and pro­ motions, with the live relay from Almeria end­ ing in a shambles and the resignation of a key Canal Sur executive, The New Year’s Eve broadcast by Canal Sur (pictured) was coming from Almería to mark the 1,000­year anniversary of the proclamation of the Kingdom of Almería by Islamic conquerors. But viewers were left dumbfounded as they waited to eat one grape for each of the twelve chimes, a tradi­ tion said to bring prosperity and good luck for the year ahead. Instead of watching the chimes welcoming in 2015, screens cut to a coffee advert followed by one for the MotoGP world championships in Jerez.

Hapless technicians were unable to stop the adverts disrupting the live transmission, which were scheduled to be on air at 12.01

am, after the chimes had finished.

The channel’s director of programming, José Luis Pereñíguez, resigned after an investigation into the incident found that it was due to ‘human errors attributable to at least three workers’, according to the El País newspaper. The incident provoked a flurry of activity on social networks, with users taking to Twitter to make fun of the TV channel and of Spanish commercial TV in general which has a reputation for badly and inappropriately scheduled commercial breaks, which often appear to last longer than the programmes themselves. One Twitter post said:­ "The cock­up of the Canal Sur chimes is a reflection of how embarrass­ ing Spanish TV is. Adverts during the grapes!"

"Almería has become a New Year’s Eve joke,” said Jesús Muñoz, president of the cit­ izens’ group Acción por Almería (Action for Almería).

SEE YOU IN COURT

2015 is promising to be a bumper year for corruption cases hitting the Spanish courts with around 150 trials looming.

More than two thousand people stand accused as part of a country­wide crack­ down on corruption.

The Noos case – in which Princess Cristina is charged with tax fraud – will come to court this year, the first time a direct royal family member will sit in the dock. The princess faces eight years in prison, at the trial in Palma de Mallorca, while her husband Inaki Urdangarin faces up to 20 years.

The Gurtel case too – with Luis Barcenas in the dock – is expected in October, and will coincide with the general elections. A total of 43 people are under investigation in the Gurtel case for corruption within the PP between 1999 and 2005.

Barcenas was imprisoned in the summer

when it was discovered he had a fortune stashed in Swiss banks.

2015 will also see the ERE redundancy scandal continuing, along with the Pujol fam­ ily investigation in Barcelona and the Caja Madrid ‘magic’ cards probe.

Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January 2015

CAN YOU NAME THESE CAR BRANDS?

1.

6.

11.

2.

7.

12.

3.

8.

13.

4.

9.

14.

5.

10.

15.

answers in next weeks edition

TRELI ON THE TELLY CAN JOHNNY SAVE IT?

audience but the writ­ ing is devoid of imag­ ination and crucially (for a comedy), humour. I’m not quite sure what Johnny Vegas will be walking Viewer loyalty counts a lot back into, but no as ITV welcomed the best amount of good part of six million viewers for actors can make up the start of the new series of for a poor script, with Benidorm last Friday, but I’ll writer Derren Litten bet anything that some of clearly bereft of any new ideas or funny those will not be back for lines. At times, the more tonight. It was a pass­ first episode looked able hour (let’s be kind) but I an embarrassing did not laugh out once and as affair (especially with I’ve written over the last three the trio of transvestite years, Benidorm is long past Lesley, his son Liam, its best. It’s why the likes of and hairdresser writers like John Cleese and Kenneth: ­ The Three Connie Booth with Fawlty Stooges they are not!), which Towers, and more recently is sad for a groundbreaking Miranda Hart with her own show that started to lose it show, decided to call it quits after three seasons when early before running out of each episode was doubled ideas and not soiling some from 30 minutes to an hour. great memories. Sad to say With the Garvey clan leaving that Benidorm is now only tonight and a poor substitute being produced to get ITV a for Donald in the form of a guaranteed five million plus wimpish Welsh character

with ALEX TRELINSKI

called Glynn, my sense of excitement and anticipation at the start of the opening credits has gone, unless Vegas as The Oracle (along with his mum Noreen) can rescue things later down the line.

Vegas must be getting used to uttering trash

because he and his Benidorm cohort, Tim Healy, have ended up performing in some bilge that makes Litten’s sunshine scribblings appear to be the work of Tom Stoppard and Kingsley Amis.

I’m referring to the nonsensi­ cal BBC revival of Open All Hours, imaginatively called

Still Open All Hours. It was bad enough witnessing a o n e ­ o f f Christmas 2013 special (which wasn’t), but I have been unable to fathom why a whole series of this mindless crap has been commissioned.

The legendary Ronnie Barker must be shak­ ing his head in TV heaven in utter disbelief.

The blame, like over Benidorm, falls squarely on Roy Clarke, who wrote the original Arkwright scripts, and has lost any sense of comic creativity in this apolo­ gy of a half­hour. It’s so bad that there’s more fun in lis­ tening to the outrageous “canned laughter” sound­ track which is one of the

worst I’ve heard ever on UK TV! Sadly Clarke has previ­ ous form on fizzling out, hav­ ing been allowed 20 years too­long behind the helm of Last of the Summer Wine, which back in the seventies was hilarious but ended up being a self­indulgent pen­ sion plan for a bunch of per­ formers that were long past their sell­by dates At least Bill Owen as Compo had the sense to snuff it eleven years before it was mercifully pulled by the BBC. The only redeeming feature of Still Open All Hours is a tour de force from Stephanie Cole as Mrs. Featherstone, but it’s scant consolation for a wast­ ed half­hour. But then with good viewing figures from a clearly undemanding audi­ ence, there’s every chance it will be back for a further series next year along with another run of Benidorm.

There’s no accounting for taste.

20

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

FRIDAY

9th JANUARY

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Caught Red Handed 12:30 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 The Musketeers 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Darts: BDO World Championships 01:10 Darts Extra 03:10 Canterbury Cathedral 04:10 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools: Speaking Sport 05:30 Schools ­ Body Matters 06:00 Science of the Harvest 06:30 The Secret Life of our Favourite Dishes 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Caught Red Handed 08:35 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 09:20 Oxford Street Revealed 10:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:05 Could I Get Ebola?

11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships 17:15 The Great British Winter 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Garden Revival 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Food & Drink 22:00 The Big Allotment Challenge 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 Ade at Sea 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Fat Pets: Slimmer of the Year 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Martin Lewis Money Show 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Invention of Lying

00:05 24 Hours in Police Custody 01:10 24 Hours in A&E 02:05 Weighing Up the Enemy 03:00 Food Unwrapped 03:55 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 04:50 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Shipping Wars 12:30 Shipping Wars 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Jamie and Jimmy's Friday Night Feast 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 The Last Leg

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 The Hotel Inspector 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 House Doctorr 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:10 Broken Trust 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Race to the Pole 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:30 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

00:00 EastEnders 00:30 Family Guy 02:00 Crims 02:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:00 Badults 03:30 Badults 04:00 Badults 04:30 Crims 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Secrets of South America 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 EastEnders

00:00 Robert Plant: By Myself 01:00 Top of the Pops: The Story of 1980 02:00 Top of the Pops: 1980 02:40 Coldplay in Concert 2014 03:40 The Inca: Masters of the Clouds 04:40 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Sounds of the Sixties 21:00 Placido Domingo at the BBC 22:00 Meat Loaf: In and Out of Hell 23:00 Heavy Metal Britannia

00:40 Two and a Half Men

00:00 Wycliffe

01:25 Boogeyman

02:00 Mom

02:10 The Royal

03:00 The Cycle Show

02:45 Fake Reaction

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

03:25 Teleshopping

03:30 Teleshopping

04:00 Teleshopping

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

07:00 Rising Damp 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 Wycliffe 07:25 You've Been Framed!

08:25 Heartbeat 07:45 Emmerdale 09:25 Where the Heart Is 08:15 Emmerdale 10:35 The Royal 08:45 You've Been Framed!

11:40 Judge Judy 09:15 The Cube 12:55 Wycliffe 10:15 Royal Pains 14:00 Heartbeat 11:10 The Chase 15:05 Where the Heart Is 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 16:10 The Royal 13:15 Emmerdale 8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES 17:15 Never the Twain 13:40 Emmerdale COUNTDOWN 17:50 Rising Damp 14:15 You've Been Framed!

22:00 - CHANNEL 4 18:20 On the Buses 1/5. New series. Jimmy Carr hosts the irreverent quiz, with team cap­ 14:45 Royal Pains 18:55 Heartbeat 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show

DON’T MISS

tains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by guests David Mitchell

and Katherine Ryan. Countdown regular Susie Dent presides over

19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:55 Murder, She Wrote

21:00 Two and a Half Men

21:00 Agatha Christie's

Dictionary Corner, while comedian Joe Wilkinson `helps' maths expert 22:00 Happy Gilmore Rachel Riley with the letters and numbers.

23:55 Take Me Out

04:30 The Store 05:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Motorway Patrol 07:20 Highway Patrol 07:45 Minder 08:45 Alias Smith and Jones 09:50 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Minder 12:55 The Professionals 13:55 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Kojak 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars

Marple

21:00 Storage Wars

23:00 Trial & Retribution

22:00 Dirty Harry

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

SATURDAY

21

10th JANUARY

00:25 Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am 01:25 EastEnders 03:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Athletics 15:35 Live Darts: BDO World Championships 17:30 Final Score 18:20 Pointless Celebrities 19:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:30 Now You See It 20:00 The Voice UK 21:30 The National Lottery: Win Your Wish List 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 National Lottery Update 23:30 Match of the Day

00:00 Family Guy 01:30 Crims 02:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:30 Russell Howard's Good News 03:00 Badults 04:30 Crims 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Marvel Avengers Assemble

DON’T MISS

00:00 Weather 00:05 Darts: BDO World Championships 00:55 Darts Extra 02:55 Question Time 03:55 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Apache Territory 08:10 Private's Progress 09:45 The Maggie 11:15 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 11:45 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 12:15 British Isles: A Natural History 13:05 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:50 Talking Pictures 14:45 The Ipcress File 16:30 Escape to the Continent 17:30 Live Darts: BDO World Championships 19:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 19:30 Sacred Wonders of Britain 20:30 The Last Days of Anne Boleyn 21:30 Dad's Army 22:00 Britain's Tudor Treasure: A Night at Hampton Court 23:00 The Other Boleyn Girl

01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:10 Bottom Knocker Street 07:20 Bottom Knocker Street 07:35 Dino Dan 07:45 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Signed Stories 08:30 Scrambled!

08:35 Nerds & Monsters 08:50 Adventure Time 09:30 Horrid Henry 09:50 Hulk and the Agents of Smash 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:15 ITV News and Weather 12:24 ITV Meridian Weather 12:25 Ejector Seat 13:25 Britain's Best Back Gardens 14:25 Who's Doing the Dishes?

15:25 Tipping Point 16:25 Diversity Live 17:25 ITV Meridian Weather 17:25 ITV News Meridian 17:35 ITV News and Weather 17:55 Mamma Mia! 20:00 Harry Hill's Stars in Their Eyes 21:05 Take Me Out 22:20 Skyfall

00:05 Adam Hills: Happyism Live 01:10 Ferris Bueller's Day Off 03:00 According to Jim 03:50 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 04:45 SuperScrimpers 05:40 Hugh's 3 Good Things 05:50 Deal or No Deal 06:45 Face the Clock 07:10 How I Met Your Mother 08:00 Cycling: Revolution Series 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 The King of Queens 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:30 Frasier 12:00 Frasier 12:30 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:30 Speed with Guy Martin 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 18:00 The Big Bang Theory 18:30 The Simpsons 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 The Restoration Man 21:00 Tsunami: 10 Years On 22:00 Bad Teacher 23:50 Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live

00:30 Big Brother: Live from the House 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Pip Ahoy!

07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Zack and Quack 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:25 LazyTown 10:50 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:25 Access 11:30 Ice Road Truckers 14:20 Columbo and the Murder of a Rock Star 16:15 Columbo: Grand Deceptions 18:15 The World's Deadliest Storms 19:10 World's 20:00 Worst Weather Ever?

20:55 Secrets Of 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Mr & Mrs Smith

00:30 Heavy Metal Britannia at the BBC 01:00 Legends 02:00 Meat Loaf: In and Out of Hell 03:00 Heavy Metal Britannia 04:30 Heavy Metal Britannia at the BBC 05:00 Close 20:00 Lost Land of the Volcano 21:00 Everyday Miracles: The Genius of Sofas, Stockings and Scanners 22:00 Spiral 22:55 Spiral 23:50 Rock 'n' Roll Britannia

01:00 Take Me Out ­ The

00:00 Wycliffe

00:10 Collateral Damage

Gossip

01:05 Wycliffe

02:15 River Monsters: Untold

01:45 Two and a Half Men

02:10 The Royal

Stories

02:35 Mom

03:00 On the Buses

03:10 Whisker Wars

03:05 Life's Funniest

03:30 Judge Judy

04:00 Teleshopping

Moments

04:30 ITV3 Nightscreen

04:30 The Store

03:25 Teleshopping

04:40 Emmerdale

05:30 Teleshopping

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

07:00 Judge Judy

07:00 Motorway Patrol

07:00 Life's Funniest

07:20 Blue Murder at St

07:25 The Professionals

Moments

Trinian's

08:30 The Cycle Show

07:25 You've Been Framed!

09:00 Where the Heart Is

09:30 Alias Smith and Jones

07:45 Emmerdale

11:20 The Darling Buds of

10:35 Coronation Street

May

13:05 The Cube

12:30 Lewis

14:10 Richie Rich

14:35 Inspector Morse

16:05 You've Been Framed!

16:50 Agatha Christie's

THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK 22:00 - ITV4

Sci­fi thriller, the sequel to Pitch Black, starring Vin Diesel. Antihero 18:35 Mr Bean's Holiday

Marple

convict Riddick finds himself on the run from intergalactic bounty 20:20 Evan Almighty

18:55 Rosemary & Thyme

hunters, but when he seeks refuge on a strange planet he discovers 22:20 Take Me Out ­ The

20:00 Doc Martin

that the place has been overrun by the all­powerful Necromongers, Gossip

21:00 Midsomer Murders

storm­troopers bent on universal annihilation.

23:00 Lewis

23:05 Blue Go Mad In Ibiza

10:40 Pawn Stars 12:55 The Cimarron Kid 14:40 The Marcus­Nelson Murders 17:35 Storage Wars 18:00 Storage Wars: Texas 19:00 Live FIA Formula E Championship 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 The Chronicles of Riddick

22

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

SUNDAY

11th JANUARY

01:00 The Football League

00:50 Darts: BDO World

Show

Championships

02:20 Kevin & Perry Go Large

01:40 Lady Caroline Lamb

03:35 Weather for the Week

03:40 Love

Ahead 03:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions

04:55 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Great British Garden Revival 08:15 Glorious Gardens from Above

12:00 Sunday Politics

09:00 Countryfile

13:15 MOTD2 Extra

10:00 The Football League

14:00 BBC News

Show

14:10 Weather for the Week

11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best

Ahead

Bites

14:15 Bargain Hunt

12:50 Food & Drink

15:15 Flog It!

13:20 James Martin: Home

15:45 Escape to the Country 16:35 Songs of Praise 17:10 Shrek 2 18:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:00 Celebrity Mastermind

Comforts 13:50 Live Snooker: The Masters 18:00 Ski Sunday 18:45 Live Darts: BDO World

19:30 Countryfile

Championships

20:30 Still Open All Hours

21:00 Kate Humble ­ Into the

21:00 Antiques Roadshow

Volcano

22:00 Last Tango in Halifax

22:00 Racing Legends

23:00 BBC News; Regional

23:00 QI XL

News and Weather

23:45 Billionaire's Paradise:

23:30 Match of the Day 2

Inside Necker Island

00:15 Family Guy

00:50 Totally British: 70s Rock 'n' Roll 02:30 Crims 01:55 Totally British: 70s 03:00 People Just Do Nothing Rock 'n' Roll 02:55 Top of the Pops: 1980 05:00 Close 03:25 Lost Land of the 20:00 Pop's Greatest Dance Volcano 04:25 Sounds of the Sixties Crazes 04:55 Close 20:25 The Voice UK 20:00 Architects of the Divine: The First Gothic Age 22:00 Backchat with Jack 21:00 Queen Victoria's Whitehall and His Dad Letters: A Monarch Unveiled 22:30 Russell Howard's Good 22:00 Dan Cruickshank and the Family That Built Gothic News Britain 23:00 The Sky at Night 23:00 Family Guy 23:30 Secrets of the 23:25 Family Guy Universe: Great Scientists in Their Own Words 23:45 Crims

DON’T MISS

KING KONG 18:30 - ITV2

00:05 ITV News and Weather 00:19 ITV Meridian Weather 00:20 Skyfall 01:20 Off Their Rockers 01:45 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:35 Dino Dan 07:45 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Signed Stories 08:30 Scrambled!

08:35 Nerds & Monsters 08:50 Ultimate Spider­Man 09:30 Horrid Henry 09:50 Deadtime Stories 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Columbo: Butterfly in Shades of Grey 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Murder, She Wrote 13:30 Harry Hill's Stars in Their Eyes 14:30 Catchphrase 15:15 Midsomer Murders 17:15 Diamonds Are Forever 19:35 ITV Meridian Weather 19:35 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 All Star Family Fortunes 21:00 Foyle's War 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 The Kyle Files 23:45 The Undriveables

00:50 Cocktail

Countdown

01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Pip Ahoy!

07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:10 Olly the Little White Van 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Paw Patrol 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Zack and Quack 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:25 LazyTown 10:50 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:25 Access 11:30 Monkey Life 12:00 The Hotel Inspector 14:00 Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War 16:10 The Pursuit of Happyness 18:30 Aladdin 20:10 5 News Weekend 20:15 The Medallion 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 A Lonely Place to Die

00:05 Ocean's Eleven

01:00 Inspector Morse

00:20 Troy

02:30 Mom

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:25 Highway Patrol

02:50 Fake Reaction

03:30 Teleshopping

03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen

03:25 Life's Funniest

07:00 Movies Now

04:00 Teleshopping

Moments

07:10 Judge Judy

04:30 The Store

07:30 The Casebook of

05:30 Teleshopping

03:50 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Emmerdale 10:05 Coronation Street 12:35 Take Me Out

on a danger­filled expedition to the fabled Skull Island. However, little do they know that the place is also home to an enormous ape...

Gay Scene to the Mainstream 03:45 Hollyoaks 05:55 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 06:00 Deal or No Deal 06:55 NFL: Rush Zone 07:20 How I Met Your Mother 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:30 Astro Boy 16:15 The Princess Diaries 18:30 Channel 4 News 19:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 20:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 21:00 The Hotel 22:00 Walking the Nile 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does

Sherlock Holmes 08:40 Agatha Christie's Sparkling Cyanide 10:40 Heartbeat 11:40 Heartbeat 12:40 Wycliffe

07:00 Greatest World Cup Matches 07:15 The Professionals 08:05 The Professionals 09:10 The Motorbike Show 10:10 Ax Men 11:05 Ax Men

13:55 Rosemary & Thyme

12:00 FIA Formula E

14:55 The Pure Hell of St

Championship

Gossip

Trinian's

13:00 Pawn Stars

14:35 You've Been Framed!

16:55 Inspector Morse

15:15 Alias Smith and Jones

18:55 Lewis

16:15 Destry

16:35 Mr Magorium's Wonder

21:00 The Zoo

18:20 Red River

Emporium

22:00 It'll Be Alright on the

21:00 Premiership Rugby

18:30 King Kong

Night

Union

22:00 Shaun of the Dead

23:00 Northern Lights

22:00 Apocalypse Now

13:50 Take Me Out ­ The

Period fantasy adventure starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black and 15:05 Valiant Adrien Brody. A group of intrepid movie­makers set off from New York

02:50 Queer as Pop: From the

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

MONDAY

23

12th JANUARY

00:35 The Apprentice USA 02:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Caught Red Handed 12:30 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Waterloo Road

00:45 Snooker: The Masters 01:35 Snooker Extra 03:35 Countryfile 04:30 Holby City 05:30 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Caught Red Handed 08:35 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 09:20 Oxford Street Revealed 10:05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 11:05 Claimed and Shamed 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: The Masters 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Garden Revival 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 Premiership Rugby Union 01:10 The Store 03:10 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Richard Wilson on the Road 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Broadchurch 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Cube

00:05 Machine Gun Preacher 02:30 The Last Leg 03:25 The History of Mr Polly 05:05 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 06:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 06:05 SuperScrimpers 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Shipping Wars 12:30 Shipping Wars 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 The Undateables 23:00 Bodyshockers

00:55 Winter Road Rescue 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 World's 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Nora Roberts' High Noon 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Criminals: Caught on Camera 20:30 5 News Update 20:30 Car Crash TV 21:00 Storage: Flog the Lot! 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Closing Time

00:15 Family Guy 00:40 Family Guy 01:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 01:30 Russell Howard's Good News 02:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:30 Crims 03:00 Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 04:00 How Safe Are My Drugs?

05:00 Close 20:00 World's Craziest Fools 20:30 Top Gear 21:30 Waterloo Road 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 EastEnders

00:30 Meat Loaf: In and Out of Hell 01:30 Heavy Metal Britannia 03:00 Heavy Metal Britannia at the BBC 03:30 Sounds of the Eighties 04:00 Architects of the Divine: The First Gothic Age 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 World War One at Home 21:00 Hidden Histories: Britain's Oldest Family Businesses 22:00 Gardens in Time 23:00 The Inca: Masters of the Clouds

00:05 Not Another Teen Movie 02:05 Mom 02:30 Fake Reaction 03:10 The Hot Desk 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:10 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:45 Royal Pains 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:30 You've Been Framed!

20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Jurassic Park III 23:50 Celebrity Juice

00:00 Wycliffe 01:10 Interview with the Vampire 03:20 Countrywise 03:45 Judge Judy 04:05 Judge Judy 04:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Wycliffe 08:25 Heartbeat 09:25 Where the Heart Is 10:40 The Royal 11:40 Judge Judy 12:05 Judge Judy 12:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Where the Heart Is 16:10 The Royal 17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Rosemary & Thyme 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 Without You

01:05 02:05 03:40 03:50 04:00 04:30 05:30 07:00 07:20 07:45 08:40 09:45 10:50 11:50 12:50 13:55 15:00 15:25 15:55 16:55 17:25 18:00 19:00 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00

DON’T MISS

THE UNDATEABLES 22:00 - CHANNEL 4

2/5. The experiences of 35­year­old Tim, who has a mild learning dis­ ability and has wanted to marry for many years. When he meets Laura, 27, will he reveal he's already planned every detail of his wedding day?

Essex boy Ali has achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism, and at 4ft 2, the 22­year­old is used to being the centre of attention on a night out, yet has never had a girlfriend. When he meets Kirsty, his nerves threaten to get the better of him and ruin the date. Finally, 27­ year­old raver Alec has Saethre­Chotzen syndrome, a rare genetic con­ dition characterised by the fusion of cranial features. Too nervous to approach girls himself, he turns to a dating agency for help and before long plans are made for him to meet research scientist Charlie

It Happened in Boston Boogeyman Movies Now ITV4 Nightscreen Teleshopping The Store Teleshopping Cheers Cheers Minder Alias Smith and Jones Kojak Magnum, PI Minder The Professionals Alias Smith and Jones Pawn Stars Pawn Stars Magnum, PI Hogan's Heroes Hogan's Heroes Minder The Professionals Pawn Stars Pawn Stars Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars: Texas Storage Wars: Texas Ax Men

24

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

TUESDAY

13th JANUARY

00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 Klute 03:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Caught Red Handed 12:30 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News

00:20 Snooker: The Masters 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 Snow Wolf Family and Me 04:10 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! ­ Key Stage 3 06:00 History Hunt 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Caught Red Handed 08:35 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 09:20 Oxford Street Revealed 10:05 James May's Toy Stories 11:05 Claimed and Shamed 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: The Masters 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Garden Revival 21:00 Nature's Weirdest Events 22:00 Horizon 23:00 W1A 23:30 Weather

00:40 A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 River Monsters 21:00 Britain's Best Back Gardens 22:00 The Wonder of Britain 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Mighty Mississippi with Trevor McDonald

00:00 Shut­Ins: Britain's Fattest People 01:00 NFL: The American Football Show 02:05 Walking the Nile 03:05 Rhod Gilbert: The Man with the Flaming Battenberg Tattoo 04:00 Grand Designs Australia 05:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:55 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Shipping Wars 12:30 Shipping Wars 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Weighing Up the Enemy 22:00 24 Hours in Police Custody 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 23:55 The Undateables

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Botched Up Bodies 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Winter Road Rescue 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Deadly Isolation 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 21:00 The Secrets of the Tea Chimps 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Suspects

00:00 Family Guy

00:00 Imagine 01:15 Horizon 02:15 Troubadours: The Rise of the Singer­Songwriter 03:40 Gardens in Time 04:40 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 World War One at Home 21:00 Harlots, Housewives & Heroines: A 17th Century History for Girls 22:00 Pavlopetri ­ The City Beneath the Waves 23:00 Smiley's People

00:55 Two and a Half Men 01:50 Mom 02:35 Fake Reaction 03:10 The Hot Desk 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:10 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:45 Royal Pains 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Dinner Date 22:00 Blue Go Mad In Ibiza 23:00 Cockroaches 23:35 Plebs

00:00 Law & Order: UK

00:00 The Last House on the Left 02:15 Premiership Rugby Union 03:05 River Monsters 04:00 Teleshopping 04:30 The Store 05:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Cheers 07:45 Minder 08:45 Alias Smith and Jones 09:50 Hogan's Heroes 10:20 Hogan's Heroes 10:50 Magnum, PI 11:50 Minder 12:55 The Professionals 13:55 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Magnum, PI 16:55 Hogan's Heroes 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Chase 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 We Were Soldiers

01:30 Live at the Apollo 02:00 Russell Howard's Good News 02:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:00 Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 04:00 Slum Survivors 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian 23:15 Great Movie Mistakes 23:30 EastEnders

DON’T MISS

NATURE´S WEIRDEST EVENTS 21:00 - BBC2

1/3. New series. Chris Packham investigates another selection of unusual natural events, with the help of eyewitness accounts and film clips, and input from scientists. The first edition features scores of pigs swimming in the Caribbean, a tiny tick that is turning Americans to veg­ etarianism and a giant worm that is invading fish tanks.

01:05 The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 02:05 The Royal 02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Wycliffe 08:25 Heartbeat 09:25 Where the Heart Is 10:40 The Royal 11:40 Judge Judy 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Where the Heart Is 16:15 The Royal 17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Without You

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

WEDNESDAY

25

14th JANUARY

00:05 MOTD 01:05 Primeval 02:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Caught Red Handed 12:30 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Match of the Day Live 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:20 Snooker: The Masters 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom 04:10 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Beneath the Lab Coat: 1 06:00 History Hunt 06:30 Schools ­ You Too Can Be an Absolute Genius 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Caught Red Handed 08:30 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 09:15 Oxford Street Revealed 10:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 11:00 Claimed and Shamed 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: The Masters 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Garden Revival 21:00 Nature's Weirdest Events 22:00 Horizon 23:00 W1A 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Secrets from the Sky

00:05 Family Guy

00:00 Glen Campbell: The Rhinestone Cowboy 01:00 Horizon 02:00 An Evening with Glen Campbell 03:20 Sounds of the Eighties 03:45 Queen Victoria's Letters: A Monarch Unveiled 04:45 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 World War One at Home 21:00 Death Comes to Pemberley 22:00 Life of a Mountain: A Year on Scafell Pike 23:00 Caravans: A British Love Affair

00:05 Plebs

01:35 Russell Howard's Good News 02:05 Seann Walsh's Late Night Comedy Spectacular 03:00 Don't Drop the Baby 04:00 Slum Survivors 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 The Musketeers 22:00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents 23:00 Russell Brand: End the Drugs War

DON’T MISS

BRING BACK BORSTAL 23:40 - ITV

1/4. In the 1930s, borstal was a much­feared institution designed to reform young offenders by enforcing compulsory work, education, dis­ cipline and intense physical activity. In its heyday, the system worked, with low levels of reoffending, in stark contrast to today's statistics. In a social experiment, 13 trouble­makers ­ some of whom have criminal convictions ­ volunteer to become borstal boys, spending four weeks in a castle in Northumberland. Will the experience set them on the straight and narrow? Taking on the role of governor is one of the UK's leading criminologists, David Wilson.

01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Bring Back Borstal

00:35 Two and a Half Men 01:55 Mom 02:20 Mom 02:40 Fake Reaction 03:20 Teleshopping 06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:10 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 You've Been Framed!

14:45 Royal Pains 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Friends with Kids

00:55 Poker 01:55 NFL: The American Football Show 02:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:45 Cycling: Revolution Series 04:40 SuperScrimpers 05:40 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Face the Clock 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Shipping Wars 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Restoration Man 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Angry, White and Proud

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Winter Road Rescue 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 When Calls the Heart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Wedding Disaster Specials 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Suspects

00:00 Law & Order: UK 01:00 Wycliffe 02:05 The Royal 02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Wycliffe 08:25 Heartbeat 09:25 Where the Heart Is 10:35 The Royal 11:40 Judge Judy 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Where the Heart Is 16:10 The Royal 17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 22:00 The Secret Life Of 23:00 Without You

01:50 The Chronicles of Riddick 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 04:30 The Store 05:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Cheers 07:45 Minder 08:40 Alias Smith and Jones 09:50 Hogan's Heroes 10:20 Hogan's Heroes 10:50 Magnum, PI 11:50 Minder 12:55 The Professionals 13:55 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Magnum, PI 16:55 Hogan's Heroes 17:25 Hogan's Heroes 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 River Monsters: Untold Stories 22:05 Daylight

26

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

THURSDAY

15th JANUARY

00:05 Film 2015 00:35 Keeping Up with the Steins 02:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Caught Red Handed 12:30 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 Snooker: The Masters 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 See Hear 03:40 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Children of the Holocaust 05:45 Schools ­ Poland Stories: Primary 06:45 Guin and the Dragon 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Caught Red Handed 08:35 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 09:20 Oxford Street Revealed 10:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:05 Claimed and Shamed 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: The Masters 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Live Snooker: The Masters 21:00 Nature's Weirdest Events 22:00 The Super­Rich and Us 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 I Never Knew That About Britain 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Kyle Files 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Birds of a Feather 22:00 Bring Back Borstal 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Brits Are Coming

00:00 Steph and Dom Meet Nigel Farage 00:30 Sex Party Secrets 01:30 Launched at Red Bull Studios 02:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 02:50 The Girl Next Door 04:35 One Minute Past Midnight 04:50 SuperScrimpers 05:45 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Face the Clock 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Shipping Wars 12:30 Shipping Wars 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Cyberbully 23:20 My Granny the Escort

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Botched Up Bodies 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 When Calls the Heart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 21:00 Benefits 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Botched Up Bodies

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 Family Guy 01:10 Family Guy 01:35 Crims 02:00 Russell Brand: End the Drugs War 03:00 Don't Drop the Baby 04:00 Slum Survivors 04:55 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 20:10 Great TV Mistakes 20:40 Armageddon 23:00 Crims 23:30 EastEnders

00:00 The Making of Elton John: Madman Across the Water 01:00 Horizon 02:00 Elton John at the BBC 03:00 Dan Cruickshank and the Family That Built Gothic Britain 04:00 Life of a Mountain: A Year on Scafell Pike 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 The Sky at Night 21:00 Timeshift 22:00 The Inca: Masters of the Clouds 23:00 Maps: Power, Plunder and Possession

00:10 Cockroaches 00:40 Two and a Half Men 01:15 Two and a Half Men 01:45 Mom 02:05 Mom 02:30 Fake Reaction 03:05 Life's Funniest Moments 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:10 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:45 Psych 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Dark Knight

00:00 Law & Order: UK

00:20 Dirty Harry

01:05 Wycliffe

02:25 It Happened in Boston

02:10 The Royal

03:05 Minder

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen

04:00 Teleshopping

DON’T MISS

BOTCHED UP BODIES 23:00 - CHANNEL 5

2/4. Alex had permanent filler injected into her forehead, jaw, cheeks and temple, but eight years later it began to migrate and swell. She has been hospitalised twice with life­threatening infections in her face and eye and needs the filler cutting out urgently. Also seeking treatment are 46­year­old Saed, who was left with just two front teeth and a mouth full of screws after botched dental implants and 22­year­old Amy, whose breast augmentation procedure went awry.

03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Wycliffe

04:30 The Store 05:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Cheers 07:20 Cheers

08:25 Heartbeat

07:45 Minder

09:25 Where the Heart Is

08:45 Alias Smith and Jones

10:40 The Royal

09:50 Hogan's Heroes

11:40 Judge Judy

10:50 Magnum, PI

13:00 Murder, She Wrote

11:50 Minder

14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Where the Heart Is 16:10 The Royal

12:55 The Professionals 13:55 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Magnum, PI

17:15 Never the Twain

16:55 Hogan's Heroes

17:50 Rising Damp

17:25 Hogan's Heroes

18:20 On the Buses

18:00 Minder

18:55 Heartbeat

19:00 The Professionals

20:00 Murder, She Wrote

20:00 Pawn Stars

21:00 Endeavour 23:00 Trial & Retribution

20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 River Monsters 23:05 Crank

Friday 9th January 2015

27

28

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 1 represents Z and 10 represents N, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Incarnation (6) 4 Help (6) 9 Sailor (7) 10 Once more (5) 11 Looks for (5) 12 Exact (7) 13 Ill at ease (11) 18 Tolerant (7) 20 Firearm (5) 22 Clutch (5) 23 Opening (7) 24 Main meal (6) 25 Wreckage (6)

1 Very nearly (6) 2 Be of one mind (5) 3 Memory loss (7) 5 Frighten (5) 6 Picture (7) 7 Kind (6) 8 Planning (11) 14 Speak of (7) 15 Outlive (7) 16 Calm (6) 17 Alcove (6) 19 Bird of prey (5) 21 Mendicant (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 7 Banana, 8 Elated, 9 Bars, 10 Whenever, 11 Scrawny, 13 Brave, 15 Angry, 17 Refresh, 20 Sabotage, 21 Busy, 23 Notice, 24 Seesaw.

Down: 1 Gala, 2 Nausea, 3 Lapwing, 4 Beret, 5 Career, 6 Reserves, 12 Cinnamon, 14 Decease, 16 Rookie, 18 Robber, 19 Cadet, 22 Seal.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 The ingredients of morel­ lo custard includes a bug (6) 4 A hundred with us twice to see the rainforest pos­ sum (6) 8 Turn endlessly and spin around for vegetables (7) 10 Five in wrong race are cut up (5) 11 Fend off Vesta (5) 12 Treats with contempt a relative by marriage (7) 13 Look at Bill in America (5) 15 Fish caught in macabre Amazon journey (5) 20 About the French grad­ uate’s mother, who is in a state (7) 22 Stick out bent bugle (5) 23 Venezuela teacher demonstrates lift (5) 24 Nun left Huntington confused this evening (7) 25 Am lost and confused, just about (6) 26 United Nations turn to spread out (6)

Down 1 Newest Los Angeles end product is Spanish Tenor (6) 2 Char was operating the vehicle cleaner (3,4) 3 Look cheerful, it’s miles away! (5) 5 Obscure nuclear devas­ tation (7) 6 Cables seen in certain record shops (5) 7 Ken’s is undone, like Hanks (6) 9 Neither good nor bad comes from expressos or lattes (2­2) 14 Wines found by a girl on a backstreet (7) 16 Move briskly or legal move will be made (7) 17 Eccentric American lacking in photographic equipment (6) 18 Quick to starve (4) 19 Not quite sick after fast pulse (6) 21 Alfred gave a seaman a sudden fright (5) 22 Bill’s friend in Africa (5)

STANDARD CLUES Down Across 1 Most recent (6) 1 Migratory grasshopper (6) 2 Automobile cleaner (3,4) 4 Tree­dwelling marsupial 3 Beam (5) (6) 5 Ill­defined (7) 8 Root vegetables (7) 10 Make a shape by cutting 6 Electric wires (5) 7 Balls of yarn (6) (5) 11 Barrel part (5) 9 Neither good nor bad (2­ 12 Child by marriage (7) 2) 13 Scrutinise (5) 15 European freshwater 14 Dry red wines (7) 16 Fast tempo (7) fish (5) 20 US state on the Gulf of 17 Equipment for taking Mexico (7) photographs (6) 22 Swell slightly (5) 18 Quick (4) 23 Fill with high spirits (5) 19 Leguminous plant (6) 24 This evening (7) 21 Warning of danger (5) 25 Nearly (6) 22 African republic (5) 26 Spread open (6) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Drum, 4 Date, 9 Aspic, 10 Mortars, 11 Tip, 12 Electrode, 13 Screen, 14 Opuses, 18 Anarchist, 21 Ago, 23 England, 24 Helot, 25 Elbe, 26 Tote.

Down: 2 Repaper, 3 Machete, 4 Damsel, 5 Tarot, 6 Cart, 7 Dado, 8 Assets, 13 Skates, 15 Potshot, 16 Scarlet, 17 Fiddle, 19 Alga, 20 Crawl, 22 Oath.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Act Ban Cob Ems Era Err Rut Tar Toe Too Uke Use 4 letter words Abet Adit Asea

Atom Bats Cabs Deer Dire Eels Else Ends Eras Ever Good Hike Hilt Lieu Lino Malt Mitt Moue None

Norm Plus Pore Reed Riot Seed Silo Sole Solo Sore Sort Taps Tore Tree 5 letter words About Aisle Atlas

Audio Blear Briar Chaps Climb Clove Easel Grass Guild Heeds Refit Scrod Sedan Snore Steer Still Tense Traps Union

6 letter words Biased Onrush Series Static Steppe Trudge 7 letter words Gastric Plateau Spotter Trounce 8 letter words Deformed Phrasing

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Island (4) 4 Married (6) 8 To smile (person) (7) 9 Cicatrices (5) 10 Mentiroso (4) 11 Lift (elevator) (8) 13 Diecisiete (9) 17 Frost (8) 19 Face (part of body) (4) 21 Sand (5) 22 Monos (7) 23 Arroyo (riachuelo) (6) 24 Mushroom (4)

Down 2 Sandalias (7) 3 Yesterday (4) 4 Crisantemo (13) 5 To hold up (support) (8) 6 Empates (en partidos) (5) 7 Oyster (5) 8 Seda (4) 12 Adelantar (vehicle, rival) (8) 14 El más cercano (7) 15 To kiss (5) 16 Aficionados (entusias­ tas) (4) 18 Pecho (tórax) (5) 20 Hormigas (4)

29

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 9th January to Thursday 15th January Across 1 The name of which type of cotton cloth, typically plain white or unbleached, comes from a city in south­ western India? (6) 4 Which adjective means ‘devoutly religious’? (5) 8 Which bone that extends from the pelvis to the knee, is the longest and thickest bone of the human skeleton? (5) 9 What title is given to an official in a British hospital who looks after the social and material needs of the patients? (7) 10 Which verb means ‘becomes later by the pas­ sage of a given amount of time’? (7) 11 Which colourless, odourless gaseous element gives a red glow in a vacu­ um tube? (4) 12 See 14 14/12 Which Japanese­ born avant­garde artist mar­ ried John Lennon in 1969 and collaborated with him

on a a number of albums including Two Virgins and Double Fantasy? (4,3) 15 What was the sur­ name of the baseball player nicknamed the Bambino and the Sultan of Swat? (4) 18 Which progressive rock band’s members have included Chris Squire, Steve Howe, Jon Anderson and Rick Wakeman? (3) 21 According to The Bible, what was the name of the second son of Adam and Eve? (4) 23 Derived from the Latin for ‘to wash’, what name is given to a toilet, especially a communal one in a camp or barracks? (7) 25 In the Christian Church, what name is given to a district under the pas­ toral care of a bishop? (7) 26 What name for a spiri­ tual leader of a Jewish con­ gregation is taken from the Hebrew for ‘master’? (5) 27 Which textile fibre or fabric produced from regen­

SUDOKU (Hard)

erated cellulose (viscose) is used to make blouses,

in triple time is normally accompanied by guitar and

dresses, jackets, lingerie, linings, scarves, suits, neck­ ties, hats and socks? (5) 28 Which Spanish dance

castanets? (6) Down 1

Espresso,

latte,

Americano and mocha are all types of which beverage consisting of an infusion of ground beans? (6) 2 What name is often applied to backache affect­ ing the lower back? (7) 3 Which British cyclist led Team GB out as the team’s flag carrier at the opening ceremony at the London 2012 Olympic Games? (5,3) 4 Which large American wild cat with a plain tawny to greyish coat, found from Canada to Patagonia, is also known as the cougar, panther and mountain lion in North America.? (4) 5 Which unit of weight is equal to one­16th of a pound? (5) 6 Which word can mean both ‘the season of growth’ and ‘a natural flow of ground water’? (6) 7 Used especially in North America for catching cattle, what name is often given to a rope with a noose

at one end? (5) 13 What name is given to a musical composition for voices and orchestra based on a religious text? (8) 16 Which small metal cap is used to protect the finger while sewing? (7) 17 What name is given to a mature male goose? (6) 19 What name is often given to rain containing some ice, as when snow melts as it falls? (5) 20 What is the surname of the American actor whose films include The Godfather Part II and Raging Bull? (2,4) 22 Which hard dark­ coloured wood is used in cabinetwork and for piano keys? (5) 24 Which city has been, since 1848, the capital of Switzerland? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH LAS HERRAMIENTAS­WORKSHOP TOOLS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el andamio

el torno

el clavo

la lima

el formón

la llave

el martillo

la llave inglesa

el perno

la rosca

el serrucho

la sierra

el taladro

los alicates

geography QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Reykjavik ( Iceland ) 2. The Danube 3. Scotland 4.

London 5. Ile St­Louise 6. Poland 7. Blue 8. Spain 9. The Rocky Mountains 10. Palermo 11. Windermere 12. Mali 13.

China (16) 14. The Mississippi

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Supplicant, 6 Scar, 9 Intoxicate, 10 As if, 12 Octogenarian, 15 Demigod, 16 Stopper, 17 Leotard, 19 Midwife, 20 Shepherd’s pie, 23 Erie, 24 Harrisburg, 25 Tahr, 26 Stalingrad.

Down: 1 Shin, 2 Putt, 3 Lexicography, 4 Cuckold, 5 Natters, 7 Cassiopeia, 8 Refineries, 11 Harold Wilson, 13 Adolescent, 14 Impoverish, 18 Dormant, 19 Mistral, 21 Ruhr, 22 Egad.

el tornillo Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

14.la sierra, 15.los alicates.

1.el andamio, 2.el clavo,

k.the thread (on screw),

3.el formón, 4.el martillo, 5.el perno, 6.el serrucho,

a.the spanner, b.the hammer,

7.el taladro, 8.el tornillo,

c.the pliers, d.the saw, e.the dril,

9.el torno, 10.la lima, 11.la llave,

f.the scaffolding, g.the nail,

12.la llave inglesa, 13.la rosca,

h.the screw, i.the bolt,

Soduko

j.the wrench,

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

l.the chisel, m.the carpenter’s saw, n.the vice, o.the file.

Answers: 1f, 2g, 3l, 4b, 5i, 6m, 7e, 8h, 9n, 10o, 11a, 12j, 13k, 14d, 15c.

1. What Is The World's Most Northerly Capital City?

2. On which River does the City of Budapest stand?

3. The largest policeman's beat (territory) in Europe is in which country?

4. What Is The Most Popular English City?

5. In Paris there are two islands, one is the Ile de la Cite, what is the other?

6. where would you be if you landed smack in the mid­ dle of Plock?

7. What color is the leftmost stripe on the French flag?

8. What country boasts the southernmost point in con­ tinental Europe?

9. In Which Mountain Range Is The Ski Resort Of Aspen?

10. What is the capital of Sicily?

11. What Is The Largest Lake In England?

12. Timbucktoo is in which country?

13. Which Country Has The Most Countries Bordering It? 14. On Which River Does New Orleans Stand?

Fill It In

30

Friday 9th January 2015

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T START YOUR NEW YEAR DIET UNTIL FEBRUARY

Whether it’s baking the perfect loaf, telling a hilarious joke or striking a sweet golf drive, the key to success is timing.

Dieting is no exception. That’s why I want to make the case that January is emphatically not the right time to launch your weight­loss programme.

I say this at some personal cost, as my book, MAN v FAT: The Weight Loss Manual, is out now and I’m not sure my publisher will be thrilled with me urging you to delay your diet. Amazon ranking be damned though – if you want to

have a healthy 2015 you should definitely take a break until February rolls around.

So why is January the wrong time of year to diet? There are three main reasons. The first is that January comes hot on the heels of December: month of mince­pie depravity and mass sherry intoxication. Throughout December it’s natural for your consumption to gather pace like a ski­jumper descending a slope made entirely of sugar, until your revel­ ries reach their zenith in the sickened and bloating joy of Christmas Day and New Years’ Eve. January is the brick wall at the bottom of that ski slope.

Somehow, we are expected to go from 60 to 0 in the space of 12 dongs of Big Ben and a mumbled verse of Auld Lang Syne. With such a volte face, is it any wonder that only 8% of New Years’ resolutions are successful?

February is also a financially smarter time to get in shape.

Unsurprisingly, January is the prime time for gyms to sign up new members. On January 1st your average gym worker is a well­primed selling machine who can flog you a 12­month membership with non­optional personal training sessions in less time than it takes you to pull a muscle.

Come February, when sales targets are harder to hit you can dictate your own terms and save a fortune. Not to men­ tion that you will miss the one busy month of the year and save yourself the mental scarring of seeing at least four new members keeling over on the treadmill. In February you will be a lone wolf, free to pedal, treadmill or cross­train to your heart’s content.

Finally, we should never underestimate the value of smug­ ness. As the masses obey their marketing masters and focus on fitness and weight through January, you can confi­ dently hoover up the untouched workplace biscuits and enjoy the cut­price offers in the bars and restaurants, safe in the knowledge that your time is coming.

And let’s be clear, I would be an exceptionally poor health author if I advocated that you made no changes at all. However, while you are emitting smugness through January what you should also be doing is planning, researching and preparing.

So when February begins you will be fully­informed and equipped for the off.

So if you’re up for a fit February here are three things you should do in January.

Figure out why you're fat Understanding why you are fat and addressing that is the most important issue in weight loss. Without getting your head right, any efforts you make towards dieting is akin to filling a bath with the plug out. Taking a good long look at your eating and drinking habits, finding out why, when and how you over­indulge and spotting where you can improve will be invaluable information come February.

Start to gather your support network Pick a diet mentor. Maybe someone who has lost weight already, or just someone who you respect who has got their eating and drinking all figured out. Approach them about helping you in February and explain that you want to make a positive change. You'll often find that they'll be only too happy to help. You also need a team. Find others who want to shift some weight and band together ­ make plans to meet up in February and put some dates in the diary.

Make some choices Three very simple things you can decide now: 1) Which diet you'll do. Check out the MAN V FAT Diet Wiki and read up on which diets are out there and which one will suit you. Forget short­term radical changes and focus on a reasonable plan that will give you a steady weight loss regime you can stick to. Adherence to a diet over a long term is way more important than what diet you choose, so pick one you think works for your personal circumstances that you will enjoy.

2) Plan out your activity. Again ­ get things in the diary.

Work out how you're going to up your activity levels, both in normal life (upgrading your commute, getting your bike fixed, etc) and your optional movement. Sign up for the squash league, book the football pitch for a five­a­side (it’ll probably be free in February) and get things set in stone.

3) Decide on your tracking options. Research some of the diet tracking options out there and pick one you can use all the time. Whether it's a page­a­day diary or researching an app you love to use ­ find what works for you and use it.

February is less than four weeks away, but that’s plenty of time to be properly prepared for when January ends and your health year can begin.

IT’S TRUE

the Scots drink whisky, while in Yorkshire they drink beer So the Scots are the largest consumers of spir­ its (most particularly Scotch whisky), Yorkshire drinkers’ favourite tipple is beer and those in the West Country are channelling their inner Wurzels by necking cider at twice the rate that Londoners do.

According to a new gov­ ernment­funded survey, the nation’s drinking habits do little to dispel regional stereotypes and seem to suggest our sense of cul­ tural identity manifests itself most clearly when we’re all down the pub.

Are any of us really sur­ prised at these findings?

Mark O’Neill has more than 25 years experience working behind bars in the south of England, but has recently moved back to his native Glasgow. “I’m not at all surprised that spirit con­ sumption is so high in Scotland,” he says. “And I’d say most of it is whisky.

It’s common for bars here

to stock 40 or 50 different bottles of Scotch; 150 bot­ tles, all malt, is not that rare. I think it is a cultural thing – we’re very patriotic, don’t forget – and I’ve noticed more young people drinking whisky than when I was young. They’re drink­ ing it in a way that in the south they might drink vodka, mixing it with coke or lemonade. I’m sure it’s about a sense of national pride.”

When it comes to beer, Yorkshire and the north east top the poll – 46% of booze downed in Yorkshire is in the form of beer, com­ pared with 35% in the namby­pamby south east, and it is generally bitter rather than lager. “I hate to sound predictable, but of course I’m an ale drinker.

Even though I’ve been liv­ ing in Birmingham for 20 years, I’m a Yorkshireman and can never shake that off,” says Tom Harvey, a teacher originally from

Hull. “And yes, I drink Yorkshire bitter whenever I find it,” he adds almost sadly.

But is this a matter of cultural identity, or just habit? Helen Nathan and her husband Kris recently moved from Bristol to run a pub in Mevagissey in Cornwall. “We put lots of local artisan drinks – beers, juices and some great new spirits – on the bar when we arrived, which we thought would go well, as the Cornish tend to be so patriotic,” she says. “But it’s been a bit of an uphill struggle. The biggest chal­ lenge has been to steer people away from what they are used to and get them to try something new.

Now we’re getting there.

We’ve finally ditched the Strongbow and our Cornish cider is flying out.”

“Ooh arrh, ooh arrh ay,” as the late, great Wurzel Adge Cutler would have said.

31

Friday 9th January 2015

Q

My doctor informed me last week that I had high cholesterol, and he pre­ scribed statins. But I am aware of the dangers of statins, my neighbour takes them and he is nearly crippled. I will like to know what to take in place of statins to control my cholesterol.

A

You are certainly right about the adverse effects of statins which includes muscle pain and weakness among many others. It is important to realise that the cholesterol check carried out in hospitals is composed of several different component. The total cholesterol reading, which is what is read as low or high, is more or less mean­ ingless without the other readings.

These other components are: Triglycerides, LDL (Low density lipoprotein) and HDL (High density lipoprotein). The reality is that these other components are really not choles­ terol but proteins that carry cholesterol. HDL is the so called ‘good cholesterol’, and carries cholesterol away from the arteries into the liver. LDL or ‘bad cholesterol’ carries choles­ terol from the liver to the arteries. Triglycerides are fatty acids used by the body to generate energy.

The desirable cholesterol level, which is calculated as an average of the other components varies from place to place.

Here in Spain and indeed much of Europe, it is considered normal when below 200 mg/dl (5.2mmol/L), but in Russia, normal values are much higher at 250 mg/dl. Indeed many clinical studies have shown that people with higher choles­ terol levels enjoy a healthier and longer life.

Contrary to what the media and the pharmaceutical cartel would have you believe, cholesterol is one of the most important nutrients produced in the body. The human brain is composed of 70% fat and 7% pure cholesterol. Without cholesterol, the body will be unable to produce hormones and many other vital chemicals. For this reason the body produces more cholesterol than we consume through our diet. Cholesterol is absolutely essential for the activities of the nerves and brain, and low levels of cholesterol are asso­ ciated with neurological problems such as depression, mem­

ory loss, nervous disorders, irritability, insomnia, ADHD and many others.

The aim in cholesterol management should be to regulate the production of cholesterol, and not to cut off its production with drugs like statins. Luckily there are 4 Natural very effec­ tive agents backed by several clinical studies that can be used to regulate cholesterol in a way that benefits the body without side effects. These agents are Niacin (Vitamin B3, preferably in the form of Inositol), Pantethine (Vitamin B5), Policosanol (from the wax of sugar cane) and Garlic. These agents are certainly preferable to statins because statins completely block the body’s capacity to produce cholesterol.

Bear in mind that without cholesterol, your body will be unable to perform many vital functions.

One of the major problems of statin drugs is that in the process of blocking the production of cholesterol, they also block the synthesis of Co­enzyme Q10 – a nutrient required by every single cell in your body for generating energy.

Without energy, our muscles become weak, and this is why those on statins commonly experience muscle weakness and pain. However natural agents are very subtle in the way they function.

Niacin lowers LDL and Triglycerides significantly (up to 25%) and more importantly increases HDL –good choles­ terol by 33% However niacin is known to cause skin flush­ ing, and so the preferred form is Inositol, which does not cause skin flushing, and also has other benefits such as improving blood flow in intermittent claudication. Pantethine also has significant cholesterol and lipid lowering activity, and is useful for diabetics, unlike niacin which should be used cautiously in diabetics because it can impair sugar lev­ els.

Policosanol is my favourite, and I have observed a

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE IS NOT A DISEASE Have you come to believe like many peo­ ple that high blood pressure is a disease rather than a sign of a disease? Yes, high blood pressure is only a sign suggesting that something isn´t right in the body. Treating high blood pressure as a disease is no differ­ ent from treating a symptom such as cough as a disease. But we can all agree that signs and symptoms of diseases are not actual diseases, rather they are indications of diseases. Cough can be triggered by a number of illnesses – chest infections, heart disease, allergies, irritation etc., and the treatment given depends on the cause. If the cough is due to infections, antibiotics are prescribed, and if due to heart disease, the appropriate therapy is given to alleviate the cough. Now imagine if cough was regarded as a disease and treated with cough sup­ pressants to suppress the cough, rather than treating the cause. You can see the danger of such a practice. Surely, the cough will be treated, but the cause of the cough is left to rage on. This is no different from treating someone with high blood pressure with

blood pressure medications. Yes your blood pressure will come down, but the cause of the high blood pressure still remains, and over time this will result in more serious and perhaps irreversible complications. So why do doctors prescribe blood pressure lower­ ing medications, rather than treat the cause?

Well the aim of public hospitals especially in today´s economy is to save money. It is so much cheaper to prescribe blood pressure medications than to carry out extensive tests to determine the cause. Of course blood tests and X­rays are usually carried out how­ ever these tests are very basic and don´t reveal very much. High blood pressure can be caused by a number of problems – inflammation of the arteries, kidney dis­ eases, hormonal problems, as well as dietary and environmental causes. The good news is that these problems can be reversed if detected early. At MedB clinic, we carry­out a full body diagnostic scan to pinpoint the cause of an illness.

FOR A FULL BODY SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

patients cholesterol drop from 320 to 260mg/dl in 5 weeks while on policosanol. Policosanol has also been shown to improve sugar levels in diabetics. Garlic is another powerful cholesterol lowering agent. The effective dose is about 4 cloves preferably taken raw (if you don’t mind the smell!).

Garlic is also available as tablets or capsules.

Policosanol from Douglas Laboratories is available from MedB Health Shop, 60 Capsules for 25.22 Euros. Call 965071745. Delivery is free.

10 WAYS TO CONTROL HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

If you've been diagnosed with high blood pressure (a systolic pressure — the top number — of 140 or above or a diastolic pressure — the bottom number — of 90 or above), you might be worried about taking medication to bring your numbers down.

Lifestyle plays an important role in treating your high blood pressure. If you successfully control your blood pressure with a healthy lifestyle, you may avoid, delay or reduce the need for medication.

Here are 10 lifestyle changes you can make to lower your blood pressure and keep it down.

1. Lose extra pounds and watch your waistline Blood pressure often increases as weight increases. Losing just 10 pounds (4.5 kilo­ grams) can help reduce your blood pres­ sure. In general, the more weight you lose, the lower your blood pressure.

2. Exercise regularly Regular physical activity — at least 30 to 60 minutes most days of the week — can lower your blood pressure by 4 to 9 millime­ ters of mercury (mm Hg). And it doesn't take long to see a difference.

3. Eat a healthy diet Eating a diet that is rich in whole grains, fruits, vegetables and low­fat dairy products and skimps on saturated fat and cholesterol can lower your blood pressure by up to 14 mm Hg. 4. Reduce sodium in your diet 5. Limit the amount of alcohol you drink

Alcohol can be both good and bad for your health. In small amounts, it can potentially lower your blood pressure by 2 to 4 mm Hg. But that protective effect is lost if you drink too much alcohol.

6. Avoid tobacco products and second­ hand smoke On top of all the other dangers of smoking, the nicotine in tobacco products can raise your blood pressure by 10 mm Hg or more for up to an hour after you smoke.

7. Cut back on caffeine The role caffeine plays in blood pressure is still debatable. Drinking caffeinated bever­ ages can temporarily cause a spike in your blood pressure, but it's unclear whether the effect is temporary or long lasting.

8. Reduce your stress Stress or anxiety can temporarily increase blood pressure. Take some time to think about what causes you to feel stressed, such as work, family, finances or illness.

Once you know what's causing your stress, consider how you can eliminate or reduce stress.

9. Monitor your blood pressure at home and make regular doctor's appointments If you have high blood pressure, you may need to monitor your blood pressure at home.

10. Get support from family and friends Supportive family and friends can help improve your health. They may encourage you to take care of yourself, drive you to the doctor's office or embark on an exercise pro­ gram with you to keep your blood pressure low. Talk to your family and friends about the dangers of high blood pressure.

32

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 If you talk a certain situation through with someone close this week, you can over­ come their doubts and leave a recent prob­ lem in the past. You could also find out something that gives you an unexpected new advantage. Your career is under lucky stars in the weeks to come, so plan to follow up on recent leads and take a confident, upbeat approach

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Stand back and take stock of where you stand this week and be prepared to push through certain changes. If you stream­ line your routine, you will give yourself more freedom to pursue your personal goals, so deal with all unfinished busi­ ness now in readiness for better times to come. Travel and romance are also linked later in the week.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 This weekend’s Full Moon in your sign gives you the advantage in a situation that you know needs changing. Do not be afraid to show your hand or take decisive action. If you trust your judgment and your inner sense of timing, you can bring about some kind of breakthrough. You could also find that you mean more to someone than you thought.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 You are at your most intuitive and sensitive to others’ feelings now, so back your hunch about a recent problem or dilemma in the week ahead. From Thursday, when romantic Venus moves into the area of your skies that rules pleasure, creativity and new depar­ tures, a more adventurous era starts. Do not let domestic ties limit your horizons.

Friday 9th January 2015

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, changes its direction through your sign this week, giving you a chance to see your current situation much more clearly.

This is the right time to reassess your long­term goals, and to give yourself more credit for the things you have achieved to date. Make your own deci­ sions and let no one put you under pres­ sure.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Your ruler, Mercury, joins forces with the energising Sun this week to help you make decisions on domestic issues that you had postponed. If you make your feelings clear, you can solve a recent problem. You will also give yourself more freedom to manoeuvre in the weeks to come. Put your own interests first

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A conversation this weekend could help you find a way to reach your current goal, so break the ice with those concerned and ask for their support or guidance.

With your ruler, Venus, in your chart’s domestic zone from Thursday, your focus shifts to what is happening in your private life. Better times now lie ahead, so do not give in to self­doubt.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Work out your real career priorities this week and do not spread yourself too thinly.

If you concentrate on what you can achieve short­term, instead of being too ambitious, you will reach your goal much sooner. Feedback from someone close later in the week could also make you see how strong your hand is in a tricky situa­ tion. The tide is due to turn.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 This weekend’s Full Moon stresses the importance of your most meaningful bonds with others. It could also throw new light on where you really stand with some­ one close. What matters now is sharing your real feelings and being open, so do not let a chance to reach a deeper under­ standing pass you by

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 This week seductive and romantic Venus enters Capricorn, and a more outgoing and fulfilling phase begins. With Venus easing recent tensions you can afford to let down your defences and ask for what you really want from others, so do not sell yourself too short. A career project also has the stars behind it in the week ahead

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Friendship and social life come first this week, so do not let career issues or demands from someone close limit your horizons. People you spend time with in the weeks to come could have a lot to offer.

They could also boost your confidence about a recent problem or dilemma. Which may be all it takes to break a deadlock and move forward.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Home life takes centre stage this week, when the Full Moon brings a close rela­ tionship into sharper focus. How the situa­ tion will turn out could well be up to you, so do not make a snap decision or let others feel they call the tune. A more outgoing phase begins on Thursday, when pleas­ ure­loving Venus enters your chart’s zone of friendship.

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Friday 9th January 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Allen wanted to know his friend could reset the ADVICE: Derek wanted to know why he had to keep password on her Gmail email. entering his password details on the computer every few Good afternoon Richard. Can you help? My friend has forgotten her password for google mail. When I was in a similar position I was able to select a new one using minutes.

Q

the "forgot password" facility but there just doesn’t seem to be a similar facility for google mail. Is there anything that we can do short of setting up a new account?

Regards, Allen

Hi Richard, Why do I keep having to re­ enter my password details on the com­ puter, as every time I stop using the computer for about 1 minute I get a screen come up requesting password details again. Hope you can help, Derek

Q A

A

Hi Allen, yes there is a similar facility for Gmail users, just ask your friend to click on the link below and follow the on screen instructions... https://www.google.com/accounts/recovery

Hi Derek, I imagine that you have set some sort of screen­ saver password and therefore after x number of minutes of inactivity the com­ puter is asking for the pass­ word in order to unlock the profile.

You can check the settings by right hand clicking on the desktop, clicking "person­ alise" and then "screen saver".

ADVICE: Ayliff wanted to know how to get sound working from online applications like BBC Radio READERS TIP: Pat had some advice for a reader who was having problems transferring photos from his Galaxy S4 Hola Richard, I have one problem and that is phone. sound. I can play my iTunes stuff, so speak­

Q

ers are connected o.k. but am unable to access BBC Radio, by that I mean I connect and press listen and there is no sound. Any ideas on the subject? Please let me know your thoughts.

Regards Ayliff

A

Hi Ayliff, most of these services use Adobe Flash Player, you can download it free from www.adobe.com, once you have downloaded it try the service again and see if it’s any better.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

TIP: Hi Richard, I´ve just been reading your page in The Courier and was very interested in the problem Bob was having trans­ ferring photos from his Galaxy S4 phone. I had the same problem and how I overcame it may be of some help.

Once the phone is connected to the PC, pull down the top bar on the mobile and check "connect as camera".

When the window opens on the PC click on "open to see files on device". Double click on the device symbol, then on DCIM and drag and drop photos into your selected folder on the PC. It´s a bit laborious, but is the only way I have found to successfully transfer photos. Hope this helps, Pat

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday 9th January 2015

ROAD LAW CHANGES

Road traffic law changes due to come into force in the early part of 2015 include speed limit reductions, minimum dis­ tances and safety and liability regula­ tions.

Although not yet given the ‘Royal assent’ in Parliament, the motoring legislation will bring down the speed limit on roads in non­ built up areas from 100 kilometres per hour to 90km/h where the hard shoulder is at least 1.5 metres (4’11”) wide, and from 70km/h down to 50km/h on roads of less than 6.5 metres (just over 21’0”) wide.

Speed limits in built­up areas will remain at 50km/h, but will fall to 30km/h on single­ carriageway one­way streets and to 20km/h on streets where the pavement and road Surface are level with each other.

Motorway speed limits will remain at 120km/h but may go up to 130km/h for cars, motorbikes and three­wheeled vehi­ cles on a temporary basis where the sec­ tion of the highway in question is consid­ ered to be in perfect conditions of safety and repair, and the weather is ideal for driv­ ing.

Other matters include companions of learner drivers – who, at present, may only be qualified driving instructors in the course of duty and only in a dual­control driving school car – who will be considered 100% liable for any accidents caused by a pupil.

Law changes also affect the use of cycle

helmets, obligatory for riders aged 16 or under at all times, and motorcycle and moped helmets, where only approved hel­ mets can be used and riders will no longer be able to refuse to wear them on medical grounds, even if they have a note from their doctor.

When drivers overtake cyclists, they must leave a minimum gap of 1.5 metres (4’11”) alongside them and, if the road is not wide enough to do this, wait behind them.

Seatbelts must be worn at all times and without fail, with no exemptions permitted, and even when parking or reversing, but taxi drivers may transport passengers no taller than 1.35 metres (4’5”) in the back seats without a seatbelt.

Tow­trucks may only occupy the road, as opposed to the hard shoulder, when remov­ ing cars which have broken down or suf­ fered an accident, and not for merely trans­ porting vehicles.

Testing for drug­driving has finally been regulated and will become routine along with breathalysing, carried out by taking a saliva sample.

A long list of possible substances which could affect motorists’ ability to drive and can be accurately tested for has been drawn up.

Certain professional bodies, including legal assistance services provided by the European Automobile Commission, the

Royal Automobile Club or similar, will be given authorisation to represent drivers in cases brought by them against the General Directorate of Traffic (DGT) or vice versa, in the name of the driver in question.

This will apply in the event of appealing against fines or trying to locate previous ones, checking licence point numbers, ITV or insurance­related enquiries, registration, change of ownership, renewals, and other, similar situations.

The DGT will have a full database of all vehicles’ ITVs – Spain’s answer to a British

MOT test – cutting down on bureaucracy as it will be easy to tell at the touch of a button whether or not a car does indeed hold a valid pass certificate.

Cars which are stolen, damaged or have lost their vehicle registration documents due to theft or other fortuitous and unfore­ seeable incident will no longer have to retake their ITVs. Vehicle registration documents for cars will also be recorded on the DGT’s central computer system to improve efficiency in administration.

DRONE CRACKDOWN

Australia's civil aviation authority is looking to intro­ duce 'world­first' rules sur­ rounding the use of drones after an increase in them being flown 'inappropriately'.

The rules currently in place were introduced in 2002 and do not reflect the changes in technology.

Drones must be kept more than 30 metres away from other people and must not be flown over public places where a large number of people are gathered such as the beach or sporting events.

The devices ­ which can come with GPS systems and cameras ­ can only be oper­ ated during the day and with­ in line of sight.

They should also be kept more than five kilometres away from airports and must not be flown above 400 feet.

If these regulations as well as others are violated, infringement notices may be

issued or prosecution may be sought where people have been injured.

Mr Gibson said 12 years ago recreational use of drones simply did not exist and it was time the authority addressed this growth.

'There are 180 commer­ cial operators and probably tens of thousands of recre­ ational drones out there,' he said.

'We need to update them and bring them up­to­date with usages.'

Mr Gibson said an increase in incidents involv­ ing drones had also sparked the authority to update their policies.

'We are getting regular incidents happening where drones are being used inap­ propriately,' he said.

'Near Christmas there was a police operation in Melbourne and someone flew a drone which hit a

power line and it almost fell on a police officer. We need to take [incidents like] that into account as well.'

Mr Gibson was unable to comment on specific changes but he said they would be practical and enable recreational users the ability to still have fun.

'It's early days and we're in the process of developing proposals and we’re going to do public consultation,' he told Daily Mail Australia.

'But the key to it would be making the rules as practical as possible for your average recreational drone owner, while obviously trying to get the right safety outcomes.

'We're not trying to stop people flying around their drones in the park or the beach or in the paddock.

'They are great fun to fly and relatively speedy. We're trying to get right set of rules to protect aircraft in the air and those on the ground.'

The introduction of these rules in Australia would set a precedent for the rest of the world.

'The United States don't have any rules... so we are very much ahead of the game here,' Mr Gibson said.

'We were the first country in the world to have rules around drones.'

Friday 9th January 2015

35

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Friday 9th January 2015

A FINE MESS

A 29­year­old Valencia City mother of two has been told she will have to go to prison for six months after she was late in paying a fourteen hundred euro fine over a crime she committed five years ago. In 2009, Sara González found a wallet on the street and rather than handing it in to police, used the bank cards inside to buy mobile phones, which she then sold to make money to buy food. Now, five years later, after having paid the compensation for the money she stole, González, mother of two little girls, will have to serve six months in prison for not paying on time the fine she got instead of a prison sentence.

"I was working in the hotel industry at

the time”, González told the El País news­ paper, "but they gave me the minimum number of hours because I wasn't well (she was suffering from anorexia and bulimia at the time). I started to steal from my mother because of my illness and finally, in 2009, I made my mistake: I found a wallet under a car and used the cards."

González's mother has now started to collect signatures for a petition to protest against her daughters impending incarcer­ ation.

"She is a very different person today to the one who committed a small error back in 2009," she told the El Mundo paper.

COSTLY COMMENT

A Majorcan man who was banned from getting in touch with his ex­girlfriend has had his appeal overthrown and will serve nine months in prison for commenting on her Facebook photo. In October 2012 a Domestic Violence court in Palma passed a protection order against the man, which included not being allowed to contact his ex­ partner by any means, including online.

But only five days later the man left a sar­ castic comment under his ex­partner’s profile picture on Facebook saying "showing them

what you've got I see, babe (a la vete a enseñarlo guapa)".

Now, a court in Palma has overthrown the man’s appeal and confirmed he must serve nine months in prison for breaching the restraining order. The man said that the court could not prove who sent the Facebook mes­ sage or that he had breached his restraining order. But the judge commented that the man was "completely conscious" of the fact his Facebook message "was an infringement of the restraining order."

37

Friday 9th January 2015

PEOPLE 'WALK 61 MILES AROUND THEIR KITCHEN' EVERY YEAR

Sticking to your health and fitness­related New Year's res­ olution may not be as hard as you think.

A study into Britons' kitchen habits has shown that the aver­

age person walked 130,000 steps (61 miles) around their kitchen in 2014 ­ the same distance as London to Oxford The research, by kitchen specialist Betta Living, asked 50 UK adults to wear a pedometer when using their kitchen for more than 15 min­ utes over seven days, calcu­ lating a weekly average which was then multiplied over 52 weeks to create the annual mileage.

The results showed that the weekend is when most kitchen traffic occurs.

Saturday and Sunday saw a combined average footfall of over 2000 steps (just over a mile) done by someone spending up to 6 hours in the kitchen either cooking or cleaning. In comparison, weekdays only saw high lev­ els of traffic at breakfast time and during the early evening ­ getting an average of 0.2 miles.

The study also revealed

that our kitchen habits are changing. Whilst cooking remains the main activity, eating (86 per cent), socialising (35 per cent), homework/study (25 per cent) and using the internet (24 per cent) are also some of our favourite pastimes in the kitchen.

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Friday 9th January 2015

Friday 9th January 2015

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Friday 9th January 2015

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CUT OUT YOUR CARD BELOW, OR DOWNLOAD AND PRINT ONE FROM THE WEBSITE AND START SAVING TODAY!

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Friday 9th January 2015

Property

thediscountcard.es

Restaurants & Bars

Lifestyle & Services

42

Friday 9th January 2015

FREE AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHOIR Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a

mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom, Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone: 647­189­135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or direc­ tions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf­ spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's

church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meeting­ house in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The Rainbow Centre for spiritual awareness We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Limonar just off the CV 905 Rojales to Torrievieja road We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoy­ ance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clairvoyance Healing is always available by certi­ fied healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcen­ trecostablana@gmail.com

INSURANCE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for

a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL MEDIA needs self­ employed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SITUATIONS WANTED WANTED. English speaking mother's help aged 30­40, with driving licence, to help 7 year old boy with home­ work, and look after him.

Work hours will be 4 hours a day, Monday to Friday. Own room with bathroom provid­ ed, in a house with a pool and garden, in Alcayna, Murcia. Pay will be 125 euros a week. If you have a young child this will not be a problem. Phone 607 43 39 43 or email: mancanpa@yahoo.es CARPET FITTER WANTED Experienced part time car­ pet fitter wanted for the expanding and successful Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos. Must be hard Working, smart & friendly, with first class customer fac­ ing skills. A clean driving license, your own transport & tools are essential. Please send CV with references to carpetheaven@hotmail.es or call us on 966720782 for more information BUSY HAIR & BEAUTY

CAR HIRE

BARBER

CATERING

ALARMS

SALON IN THE PLAYA FLA­ MENCA AREA REQUIRES A PART­TIME FULLY QUALIFED BEAUTICIAN TO JOIN THEIR FRIENDLY & PROFESSIONAL TEAM. TEL: 648111779 FOR DETAILS. Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

DOMESTIC APPLIANCE REPAIRS

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

POOL TABLES

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

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SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

CARPENTER

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Friday 9th January 2015

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Friday 9th January 2015

EUROPE’S GOLDEN ERA

I wonder what 2015 will bring us after a wonderful year for European golf, both in the Majors and of course retaining the Ryder Cup? In a golden era in this part of the world, Europeans won four of the game’s five most important strokeplay championships – Martin Kaymer (The Players Championship and the US Open) and Rory McIlroy (The Open and the US PGA), whilst Europe took the Ryder Cup for the eighth time in the past ten meet­ ings. European golfers are currently ranked first, sec­ ond and fifth in the world, whilst Colin Montgomerie won not one but two major championships on the Senior Tour in the United Sates. And to cap it all, cour­ teous behaviour and grace under pressure seemed commonplace in the grand old game and not just an ideal.

In this new year, Rory McIlroy is unrivalled as the Worlds’ number one golfer, a man capable of playing a form of golf so inspiring that few of his peers can match it and come to that, few of his predecessors have either. Rory McIlroy had his year of triumphs as well winning two majors as doldrums in 2014, the downs being when he broke off his engagement to Caroline Wozniacki before winning the European flagship the BMW PGA Championship, then the Race to Dubai, and a World Championship event.

No one will forget the near darkness in which he won the US PGA or the brilliance of his play in his singles match in The Ryder Cup. He now has in his sights the golden prize of winning three major championships in succes­ sion. If Rory succeeds in winning at Augusta in April he would become only the third youngest player after Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods to have won the games four greatest tournaments’ and a measure as to what play­ er’s calibre is judged.

Europe’s defence of the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles last September was really a memorable one. The element of that made the 40th Ryder Cup exceptional for me was not the performances of all the players or individuals but that of the European skipper, Paul McGinley (A quick reminder here of when Villamartin hosted the 1994 Mediterranean Open which was won by Jose Maria Olazabal after an exciting play­off with Paul McGinley, McGinley his tee shot on the 17th disappeared on the left hand side of the green and is fond­ ly known to those who remember, as McGinley corner). Different days now! There have been 40 cap­ tains European and American, and Europe’s victory was due in part to McGinley extraordinary eye for detail and meticulous planning, arguably the best captain ever to date.

There are several characteristics about some of Europe’s leading combatants that are welcome in this day and age as unusual. They are good golfers that happen to be good people as well.

Take Henrik Stenson for example who is a superb ball striker with arguably the strongest mind in European golf and who has a good sense of humour.

Martyn Kaymer is one of the most grounded and well­ mannered players around. The morning after his Players Championship win, he sat crossed legged on the floor at Jacksonville airport in Florida charging his mobile phone. Someone suggested he deserved some­ thing more comfortable, to which he replied: “Why? I am not a king I don’t need a throne”.

Is Rory McIlroy anything other than a golfer with a sublime talent and a balanced view on life, a sense of humour, and loads of charm under that black curly unruly hair? (Just jeal­ ous!). He didn’t just give a master class in playing the great game in The Open at Hoylake, but he also delivered a speech that will not be bettered. He thanked the R&A for organising The Open but for all the work that it does all the year round, a public acknowledgement that completely caught the R&A off guard, who are not used to such benev­ olence. He called for his mother to join him as he made his victory speech, which sent every female who witnessed it, weak at the knees and in a lair full of Liverpudlians he joked about being a Manchester United fan and got away with it!

The days ahead are lip­smackingly exciting. Rory McIlroy has the capability to lead his followers into an age of splen­ dour, so bring on the dancing Prince I say! In its year of years, the European Tour acknowledges this young man

KNOW YOUR RULES

from over the water and in his year of years, the dancing Prince should acknowledge the structure and organisational success of the European Tour, too. What a great season in was in 2014.

LADIES FOR 2015?

Golf in the UK has an opportunity to grow if clubs and cours­ es become more female friendly and offer flexible playing options, according to new research commissioned by Syngenta. The study found more women would be interest­ ed in taking up golf if they could learn with female friends and family, and play on shorter courses offering the option of nine hole rounds. They would also be encouraged to commit to golf or return to the sport if clubs were “less masculine”, “less intimidating” and treated them as “valued customers.”

The findings are contained in a new free­to­download report, The Opportunity to Grow Golf: Female Participation which follows specialist qualitative research, including a series of panel sessions around the UK listening to the views of female golfers, lapsed players and non­golfers.

The report, which was launched to an audience of golf industry professionals, including the 2015 European Solheim Cup Captain Carin Koch, is designed to help clubs and courses identify potential solutions to retain current female golfers and attract new players, supporting the long­ term sustainability of the golf industry.

The project is being supported by a series of short documen­ tary videos showcasing the work of golf clubs and courses that are successfully recruiting new female golfers, viewable at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoLRco__XHI&fea­ ture=youtu.be What’s important is to listen carefully to what women are saying about golf, what aspects of the sport appeals to them and understand the conditions that need to be created to engage women as customers. The results of the research show that an important factor is the ability to learn and play with friends and family at venues where women feel wel­ come.

TITTER ON THE TEE Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:

What is the ruling if the ball is on the lip of the hole, at rest,

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to put her at ease by telling her a little joke as he put on his gloves

and the player jumps up and down to make the ball fall into

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked.

the hole?

“No, I don't,' she replied.

A: No penalty.

“Well,” he hoaxed, “There's a building in Madrid with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,”

QUESTION

B: Replay the putt.

C: A one stroke penalty and replace the ball.

“Then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.”

ANSWER

She didn't crack a smile. 'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.

C: Rule 18­2a. If the ball was at rest when the player jumped and he/she incurs a penalty of one stroke in both stroke and

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

“What's so funny?” He asked.

match play and is required to replace the ball.

“I was just envisioning how condoms are made!”

it should be assumed that the player caused the ball to move,

Friday 9th January 2015

45

REAL RUN ENDS VALENCIA 2

REAL MADRID 1

Real Madrid's club record 22­match winning run was ended by Nicolas Otamendi's fine header as Valencia came from behind to secure a famous victory last Sunday. Cristiano Ronaldo's penalty put Real in front, his 33rd goal of the season. But Valencia made it 1­1 seven minutes into the second half through Antonio Barragan's(pictured celebrating) deflect­

ed shot. Otamendi then powered the ball in from a corner to secure the points. It was Real’s first defeat since they lost to city rivals and La Liga champions Atletico Madrid on September 13th. They kept their La Liga top spot though as Barcelona lost to Real Sociedad, with Madrid’s next league fixture this Saturday afternoon at home to Espanyol.

BARCA GAMBLE BACKFIRES REAL SOCIEDAD 1

Barcelona missed a golden chance of going top of La Liga on Sunday as they struggled at bogey­side Real Sociedad by fielding a weakened line­up, and they failed to take advantage of leaders Real Madrid falling at Valencia. David Moyes's side had an early own goal from Jordi Alba to thank for three vital points in their battle against relegation as Barca coach Luis Enrique started with Lionel Messi, Neymar and Dani Alves on the bench following the festive break. And they were unable to inspire a fightback as Moyes secured a memorable second win as Sociedad manager.

BARCELONA 0

Messi, Neymar and Alves only returned to training last Friday after an extended break in South America during the league's Christmas shutdown. Enrique took the gamble of start­ ing without them for a fixture that has proved tricky for Barcelona in the past. And so it proved again with their winless run at Anoeta now extended to six games, with Barca hav­ ing to up their standards for this Sunday night’s home encounter against champions and third placed side Atletico Madrid, who have the same number of points as the Catalan outfit.

ILICITANOS FIGHT BACK ELCHE 2

VILLARREAL 2

Not for the first time this season, Elche battled back from a two­goal deficit to claw back a point, their first in five matches, but the Ilicitanos remain rooted at the bottom of the Primera division table.

It was the visitors who struck first in the 11th minute, Vietto turning the ball into an empty net after a spectacular team move that saw Villarreal move the ball from their own area into the opposing net with eight slick passes. A second goal arrived just four minutes later from a similarly sweeping move. This time Mario Gaspar went for goal after a series of passes and saw his shot saved by Przemyslaw Tyton, but Uche gobbled up the rebound and shot high into the net.

Few observers would have envisaged an Elche comeback at that stage, but the hosts crept back into the game after 26 minutes by robbing Villarreal on the halfway line and counter­attacking at a terrifying pace, with Jonathas slamming Rodrigues' cross into the roof of the net from eight yards. Villarreal came straight back at their opponents hoping

to restore their two­goal cushion and created two clear chances inside a minute. Vietto ventured down the right and squared to Uche, but an Elche defender blocked the Nigerian's shot at the same post. Vietto then raced through on goal and put the ball past Tyton but David Lomban came to his goalkeeper's rescue to clear the ball off the line.

Villarreal were left to rue their wastefulness 60 seconds later.

Jonathas dispossessed Gabriel Paulista near the Villarreal penalty area then held the ball up to allow Victor Rodriguez to join him on the edge of the area, and the midfielder rifled the ball into the top corner. There was still time before the break for Villarreal to hound the Elche goal again, but neither Cheryshev nor Manu Trigueros could place their shots on the right side of the side­netting.

Neither side could sustain the frenetic pace of the game after the break and although Villarreal looked the more likely to get a winner, Fran Escriba's side held on, and now go to mid­table Athletic Bilbao on Sunday afternoon.

46

Friday 9th January 2015

SPORTS FIXTURES

HARD EARNT POINT ATH SAGUNTINO 0

CD TORREVIEJA 0

Saturday 10 January 13:45 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 18:30

Sunderland v. Liverpool Burnley v. Queens Park Rangers Chelsea v. Newcastle United Everton v. Manchester City Leicester City v. Aston Villa Swansea City v. West Ham United West Bromwich Albion v. Hull City Crystal Palace v. Tottenham Hotspur

Sunday 11 January 14:30 Arsenal v. Stoke City 17:00 Manchester United v. Southampton

Saturday 10 January 13:15 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Ipswich Town v. Derby County Birmingham City v. Wigan Athletic Blackpool v. Millwall Bolton Wanderers v. Leeds United Bournemouth v. Norwich City Brentford v. Rotherham United Cardiff City v. Fulham Charlton Athletic v. Brighton and Hove Albion Huddersfield Town v. Watford Nottingham Forest v. Sheffield Wednesday Reading v. Middlesbrough

Sunday 11 January 15:00 Blackburn Rovers v. Wolverhampton Wanderers

Saturday 10 January PP 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Celtic v. St. Johnstone Dundee v. Motherwell Kilmarnock v. Inverness Caledonian Thistle Ross County v. Partick Thistle St. Mirren v. Aberdeen

Monday 12 January 20:45 Hamilton Academical v. Dundee United

Friday 9 January 20:45 Levante v. Deportivo de La Coruña

Saturday 10 January 16:00 18:00 20:00 22:00

Real Madrid v. Espanyol Málaga v. Villarreal Celta de Vigo v. Valencia CF Eibar v. Getafe

Sunday 11 January 12:00 17:00 19:00 21:00

Almería v. Sevilla Athletic Club v. Elche Granada CF v. Real Sociedad Barcelona v. Atlético de Madrid

Monday 12 January 20:45 Rayo Vallecano v. Córdoba

Torrevieja lie four points off the leaders after getting a Wednesday night draw at Saguntino, and only really got into the contest in the second half, when they looked the better side and created some telling scoring chances.

Saguntino played a high tempo game from the off and pinned Torry in their own half for most of the first period.

They were quicker to the ball, found more space and were able to force wave after wave of attack. Torry's defence coped with these well, with Oscar only having to make a couple of routine saves. Nonetheless, it was the hosts who were well on top and Torry were glad to hear the half time whistle so they could get some relief and work out how best to adapt to manage the onslaught.

Torry were quicker to close down Saguntino in the sec­ ond half and had the better of exchanges, Cesar having their first shot on goal in the 49th minute of play. Ferran was working extremely hard on the right flank, making telling challenges and trying to attack, but was finding little space to do so. Up front, Rafa Gomez was getting little service and was being forced to drop deeper, resulting in

Torry having limited options when advancing.

However, they began to threaten, especially when Vicente joined in attacks and they had several good oppor­ tunities to score. A fierce left footed drive from Vicente from 20 yards was a screamer, but was blocked by a brave defender before it reached it's intended target. Alexis drove a 12 yard shot which had goal written all over it until a magnificent leap across goal saw it palmed away for a corner. Ruben bravely headed from the corner, missing narrowly.

Galiana changed the formula with the introduction of Adrian, Cristian and in the latter stages, Carrasco. They all contributed to a more forceful Torry attack but Saguntino held out. In fact, in the closing stages, Alexis was brushed aside and Oscar had to pull out a fine save to keep the scores level. Of the top seven sides, only Muro won on Wednesday with draws for the rest, so Torry are in a decent position and have the luxury of entertaining bottom club Utiel on Sunday at the Vicente Garcia stadium with a 5.00pm kick­off, plus Steve Ekedi back from suspension.

HAPPY NEW TORRY UD ALZIRA 0

Torrevieja got 2015 off to a flying start at Alzira to rekindle their promo­ t i o n prospects on the back of their pre­ Xmas home win over La N u c i a .

Sunday’s vic­ tory was especially satisfying as Torry played without a recognised centre forward after a dreadful decision that saw Steve Ekedi red­carded in the previous match.

CD TORREVIEJA 3

It was Ferran(pictured) who opened the scoring just two minutes before the interval after a precision pass from Rafa Gomez to Berna, who in turn picked out Ferran with slide rule accuracy. Ferran made no mistake and Torry had a deserved lead. Alexis had gone close with a header earlier and all the chances were being created by a lively and focussed Torry who looked very different from the fumbling outfit that laboured during November.

Alzira were more like themselves in the second half, work­ ing fiercely and showing that they would not go down without a fight. Three times they brought out world class saves from Oscar who was in no mood to concede. Torry were danger­ ous on the counter attack and also at set pieces and it was the latter that provided Jorge with the chance to rifle home from close range on 63 minutes. Better was to follow as teenager Berna, who was having a blinder, took the gift that was given to him to open his account for Torry and put the result beyond doubt.

It was an impressive Torrevieja performance from back to front. There was drive and energy and lots of slick passing, such as was witnessed early in the season, leaving them in good spirits ahead of the Wednesday night trip to Saguntino.

47

Friday 9th January 2015

MANAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR!

When interviewing for sales positions, I was trained to probe into recent performances, and query a candi­ date’s reasons for leaving their last position, or desire to if currently employed. Just what would/could Alan Pardew say to Steve Parish if the Crystal Palace owner bothered to ask as to why Pardew would want to leave Newcastle United? The Magpies currently sit respectably in tenth place, and play in a magnificent sta­ dium in front of regular, passionate crowds of over 50.000. Newcastle is a one­club city that loves its foot­ ball and has a long history of success and glory ­ though not lately. It doesn’t sound very convincing for a manager to want to drop nine places down the Premier League to the troubled, scruffy, neglected backwaters of hard­up Selhurst Park, currently languishing third from bottom of the Prem ­ in big trouble and fighting their usual relegation battle. Past managers Dougie Freedman, Ian Holloway and escapologist supreme Tony Pulis have all walked in the last three years, and Parish’s latest piece of mis­management saw the return hiring­and­soon­firing of past­it­and­failed Neil Warnock.

On his primarily­based southern­based CV, Pardew would not be welcomed back to previous employers ­ like Southampton and West Ham, where WAG­watching was a popular Pardew pastime. Apart from still owning a home in Surrey, Pardew’s only credentials to return back down the A1 to occupy the Selhurst Park hot seat appear to stem from when as a Palace player, he once scored the winner in a cup­tie replay against Liverpool, back when Pontius was a pilot. This feat must have given him a head­butting start over other interviewees. Erem… were there any this time round, Steve? Did Desperate Dan demand those curly questions that needed convincing answers? It would appear not.

In London, the streets around Selhurst Park are not paved with gold. ‘Palace’ is a misnomer, it’s Crystal clear ­ there’s beggar­all money there, ask Pulis. The club is in urgent need of modernisation and claims the Prem’s lowest league atten­ dances with gates of only around 20,000. But the vociferous home crowd never let up, always giving their noisy, passion­ ate partisan support for their club, and in doing so put a number of their wealthier, neighbouring clubs to shame.

Recently Jose Mourinho took issue with the quietness of the Chelsea faithful, and at the mighty Emirates the old ‘Highbury Library’ aren’t exactly the most vociferous home crowd, despite the enviable huge stadium. Don’t those loyal Palace supporters deserve better?

On Tyneside we all know Pardew is about as welcome as breaking wind in a space suit: a despised southerner in a northern stronghold with an appalling, shameful behavioural track record during his four year tenure. Touchline manage­ rial crimes include head­butting an opposing player, aggres­ sively taking on officialdom and verbally abusing other man­ agers. The curious case of Pardew’s contract, effective ‘til 2020, unbelievable even in today’s financial madness,

appears negotiated, signed, sealed and settled between the clubs. Newcastle’s unpopular­but­financially­astute owner Mike Ashley will be well pleased to be shot of Pardew, where there is little love lost. And Alan won’t be missed on the ter­ races.

So: on the managerial merry­go­round who’ll now step into the huge hot seat at St James Park? A big club needs a big man: Geordie born­and­bred Steve Bruce says he’s staying at Hull, and previous Magpies nice guy Chris Hughton has just gone to Brighton. In addition to Crystal Palace dismissing Neil Warnock, West Brom have also just sacked Alan Irvine, but appear to have pulled out a plum by landing the key managerial Premier prize on the market, never­been­relegated Tony Pulis is the DDD dream ticket.

The loyal and long­suffering Baggies fans, always overshad­ owed by those wealthy Villains over in north Birmingham deserve some success and stability. So somebody should be getting it right.

Using the lately popular Tammy Wynette philosophy of ‘Stand By Your Man’, the other close competitors to Crystal Palace, Burnley and Leicester are toughing it out at the bot­ tom, for now at least following the West Ham and lately Sunderland philosophy. Sean Dyche’s men are improving now after several months at the bottom and the Claret class is showing. Will the same faith be kept at that King Power Stadium where little is going right for Nigel Pearson’s Leicester? Remember you Foxes faithful – Nige got you there by a country mile last year ­ didn’t he?

Up til Christmas it was a tame turkey­trot for Prem man­ agers, but now with Warnock and Irvine curried, the silly sea­ son is here. Giving Alan Pardew the manager’s position at Crystal Palace is a(nother) massive gamble by Parish, and unless improvements come soon it’s back to the future in the Championship – again – only two years since the hapless

Holloway surprisingly got the Eagles up to the Prem and promptly left. Prem newbies Sean and Nigel are sweating it out week by week, but of course, three have got to go even­ tually – ooh, it’s tough at the bottom!

ALL ABOARD FOR PRIZES

It was all hands on hand recently as trophies were handed out recently to the competitors in the 2014 SAMM(Sailing Association Mar Menor) Autumn Series, with the final placings based on the best eight results from the eleven races that were run. Top of the pile was the Laser 2000 ‘Shoestring Dos’ with 16.75 points, whilst in second was the other Laser 2000 ‘Shoestring Tres’ with 24.75 points with the Catamaran ‘Hamour taking third place honours with 30.25 points.

All the top boats had been sailed by various crews during the season as all were owned by ‘boat share’ groups within SAMM. The photo shows the trophies being presented to representatives of the crews by the Commodore Janice Penning.

From left to right; Ingo Wilson Tres, John Down Dos, and behind Janice, George Noden Hamour.

The SAMM Special Award was presented at the same time to Ernie Foster, whose outboard engine skills and knowledge have given everybody a trouble free year with the support Rib. The dates of the Spring 2015 season will be announced during this month, so for information look under ‘racing’ on the SAMM web site www.sailingmarmenor.com

BACK IN BUSINESS

The area’s newest rugby club, DS Barbarians RFC are back in training at their normal times at Daya Vieja after their seasonal break, with the start time being at 8.30 pm on this Monday January 12th, in addition to the Wednesday night session. An earlier start time is to be introduced for the jun­ iors, with more details to follow. The club is now moving forward and is put­ ting together some friendlies for the next few months. For details on how to join, call Dutch on 692 767 242.

Friday 9th January 2015

48

OH NO IT ISN’T!

It’s the panto season! Come on, who was it said ‘It’s all over!’ in November when Chelsea went nine points clear at the top of the Prem ­ and that Mourinho’s men would walk it, unbeaten this season?

Erm, red faces all around now, and not all from too much Christmas cheer! Lose to Newcastle – then Spurs? You’re ‘aving a laugh, mate! But on New Year’s Day, the Blues got Kaned with five of the best by Tottenham at White Hot Lane, the 5 – 3 result being one of the great surprise scores so far of this fantastic sea­ son. This Chelsea side, Fabregated by Jose that Costa lot were looking invincible only weeks ago, but some­ how conceded five in a London derby to erratic, unhap­ py­at­home Spurs. Hey, that’s football for you: great!

It’s that never­say­die Man City side that have now somehow caught The Bridge Boys up. I say ‘some­ how’, because league­leading goal­machine Aguero’s been out injured, so’s his stand­in Dzeko, third choice Jovetic’s hardly fit, so City’s usual sub/utility man James Milner’s been playing up front, aided manfully by ex­Chelsea hero Frank Lampard (you couldn’t make that one up ­ eh, Jose) plus Silva, Nasri and Toure.

These make­do­and­mend Blues are now level with Chelsea as we go into the second half of the season.

Bring it on!

The smart money looks like the Holy Grail of European lottery money will return to Old Trafford next season, although to be fair it should considering the massive mazoomah Man U have meted out. Having now caught their second wind, Southampton have stopped the rot and look classy again in fourth with some good recent results, like drawing with Chelsea –

John McGregor reports

and beating Arsenal.

Mind you, that South Coast quality is now sur­ facing at White Hart Lane, where Pottechino’s protégés have leap­frogged their nasty neighbours Arsenal into fifth place. Forget your Adebayors, Soldados etc ­ Harry Kane is the real deal, a modest, local lad who Costa nowt. Our ‘arry’s a breath of fresh air in compar­ ison to some of the Baled­out­in highly expensive mer­ cenaries. Erikkson looks superb, and backed up by Chadli, Lamela, Mason and now a re­surgent Andre Townsend, Tottenham are looking an exciting prospect once again.

Nasty neighbours Arsenal? Sigh…as usual, one step forward, one back ­ as usual driving their loyal fans barmy ­ and as usual Gooners are question­ ing Arsene Wenger’s line­up and style of play. With the superb Alex Sanchez, backed up by an astonishing arsenal (ho­ho) of expensive talent, the Gunners should be doing much better. But they’re not: as usual.

Keeping it Capital, pre­season you wouldn’t have expected West Ham to be right up there blowing Christmas bubbles – but they are, well done Santa Sam! Three points behind come Liverpool, where cap­ tain fantastic Steven Gerrard’s days are finally, official­ ly numbered. Anfield must survive sin­Steve next sea­ son, and if you ask me, the sooner liability Balotelli goes the better. There, I’ve said it… but where’s the new super striker the Reds need?

It’s always good when new blood, even red Welsh stuff (joke, boyos) arrives in the Prem and stays there by merit ­ which is just what super Swansea have done ­ a sound outfit doing well in ninth. Just behind are leaderless Newcastle ­ where the Magpies go from here anyone knows. Post Pulis, dare one suggest Mark Hughes has made the Stoke job his own on merit, and taken the Potters up another rung to mid­table where the Midlanders are a tough team today to beat.

Talking of Midlands, Aston Villa are still driv­ ing their long­suffering supporters barmy. The Villains just can’t score and the whisper is top striker Christian Benteke is unhappy. And what’s going wrong at Everton, many people’s tip for success this year (guilty, m’lord)? Rude boys are comparing the Toffees to Wigan, where Roberto Martinez’s lads used to look good going forward ­ but couldn’t defend adequately enough.

Gus Poyet has taken those Black Cats higher (14th) than last year’s kamikaze crusade to stay up, but Sunderland still sit uneasily around hesitant Hull and Quite Possibly Reviving/Relegated (your call).

Bit of a jizz this time round as super­saviour Tony Pulis has taken over when West Brom are fourth from bottom ­ not dangerously in the Dreaded Drop Department to kick­off with. But Baggies fans will be happy that they’re in the hands of a real pro who leaves no stone unturned. Watch this space.

DDD dwellers – in reverse order of danger, the overleaf­mentioned Crystal Palace are seasoned sur­ vival strugglers, and newbie Alan Pardew must get results ­ soooon. Below the Eagles revived and revving­up Burnley look capable of improving their prospects under Sean Dyche, but at rock­bottom it’s last year’s runaway Championship champions Leicester who must wonder if someone up there dis­ likes them. The Foxes have had so much bad luck with odd­goal results going against them, usually after leading.

Summary: if the second half of the Premier league’s as exciting as the first, we’re in for a treat.

PS – don’t miss Super Sunday – Arsenal v Stoke, followed by Man United v Southampton: great!