The Courier - Edition 193

Edition 193

www.thecourier.es

Friday, October 31, 2014

BATTLE WON BUT IS CALA MOSCA WAR OVER?

By ALEX TRELINSKI

Controversial house building plans on the Orihuela Costa’s scenic Cala Mosca are up in the air after local campaigners got a big boost with the Valencian Government ruling that envi-

ronmental concerns have ruled out the bulldozers and builders coming onto a plot of land at around three hectares in size. It is not a total ban for the area and the Orihuela council and local residents are waiting to see what happens next.

Campaigners have fought for a long time against the long-mooted Cala Mosca development plans in order to protect the environment and the flora and fauna of the area, with some fifteen hundred properties being proposed by the Gomedio company, who earlier this year amended their plans to take account of the various concerns.

Earlier this summer, protestors launched a petition which objected to the changes, which they said would still have threatened the rare Cabeza de Gato plant, and the Tudorella Mauritanica snail. The amendments included plans to create gardens, play areas and car parks. Close to two thousand signatures on a petition organised by the CLARO political party were handed in to Orihuela Council, which in turn were passed onto the Valencia Government. Opponents to the development plans said they would have sounded a deathknell for the unspoilt nature of Cala Mosca

and the two rare species.

Orihuela Environment Councillor, Manuel Gallud (pictured), welcome the news from Valencia, but said that he was disappointed that the order did not cover the full area the council wanted, and that they ended to appeal to extend the new protection zone.

CLARO spokesman, Antonio Cerdan, said that the ruling from Valencia was a major breakthrough “in preserving the last remaining undeveloped mile of the coast.” He added that they would monitor the situation carefully to see what changes Gomedio have to make to their plans and that the ruling from Valencia would have to be observed.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1630 EDITOR Alex Trelinski LAYOUT & DESIGN James Bone ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 188 - 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or nonappearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

966 921 003 679 096 309

“There She Blows (Paseo Marítimo, Torrevieja)”

Photo by Steve Betts from Mar Azul

VILE ASSAULTS CROOKS COLLARED

A 23 year old man from the Vega Baja town of Cox is to stand trial on charges of raping two young children in the town. Prosecutors have called for a 23 year prison sentence for the incidents that happened in 2010.

The man allegedly tried to win the trust of the children in a local park, whilst they were with other youngsters, and then took them to a secluded area. One 10 year old was raped three times in January with a six year old assaulted two months later. Both children were reportedly threatened with more assaults by the man if the incidents were reported to anybody else.

Eight people have been arrested for robbery across the Vega Baja, including one person who is involved in 15 offences. The collars were made by the Guardia Civil under Operation Canaveral where they authorities have been tracking robberies since July involving children around Almoradi, Benejúzar, Rojales and San Bartolme.

The main perpetrator would strike at night hiding to take victims by surprise on the street and then steal high value items like jewellery and handbags before running away, with three victims being injured. Authorities raided two addresses in Almoradi and arrested the man whilst the other seven were accused of handling stolen goods, with the Guardia discovering items from some ten robberies.

OH REALLY?

COLD CASH

Dubious lending by regional Spanish savings banks in the boom years before the property bubble burst in 2008 caused billions of euros of losses, according to Spain’s Economic Minister, Luis de Guindos. Spain's bank restructuring fund FROB has identified 42 suspect operations carried out between 2005 and 2008 by regional lenders that needed to by bailed out by the government, he added.

An American pension and investment company could become the new joint-owners of Zenia Boulevard. La Verdad newspaper reports that the Alaska Permanent Fund is looking to buy a 50 per cent interest in the shopping centre which first opened to the public in the autumn of 2012, and to join forces with current owners,

Immochan, in making addition investments at the Boulevard in addition to two other shopping malls in Spain and Portugal.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap-

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

MURCIA TRAGEDY

A retired British police officer has drowned after he rushed to the aid of swimmers in trouble off the coast of La Manga on Monday.

Watersports enthusiast David Walter, of Wroxham, Norfolk, died as he dashed to help others in the sea.

The 67-year-old, who served with Norfolk Police for 30 years from 19702000, was in Spain with his wife Mel after they had travelled all over Europe in their caravan for the last two years.

No-one else is thought to have been injured or killed in the tragedy on Monday. A Foreign Office spokesman said: 'We are aware of the death of a British national in Murcia, Spain on 27 October, 2014.

'We stand ready to provide consular assistance.'

CLEARER VIEW SCOOP YOUR POOP Torrevieja Hospital has bought two new high-end ultrasound systems for their Radiology department. The two pieces of equipment, costing over 110 thousand euros, means that some 14 thousand scans will be able to be carried out each year at a quicker pace and in higher definition.

SWINDLER’S LIST Irresponsible dog owners are being targeted by Rojales council and the local police in a campaign to make sure that dog dirt is picked up in local streets and disposed of. Leaflets and posters have been printed in a number of languages including English to remind owners of the health hazards of not doing the right thing and warning them of fines of up to 15 thousand euros. Police patrols are being stepped up in the next week as part of the campaign to catch owners who don’t scoop up their dog’s poop. A similar campaign is also taking place in the Orihuela area with leaflets being printed in English and Spanish.

SHRINKING SPEND UP SPANIARDS

People are digging into their pockets a bit more in the Valencia region and the Costa Blanca, compared to a year ago. Official figures show that retail sales for September were up 4.7 per cent compared to the same month last year, with only the Canaries and Balearic islands having bigger returns. The overall national spending average rise was 2.9 per cent, and taking the whole year into account, sales in Valencia went up by 1.4 per cent, compared to just 0.2 per cent for the whole of Spain.

FRIGHT NIGHT Spain's population will collapse by 5.6 million in the next 50 years with much of the population aged over 65 and living alone, according to new official forecasts. The figures from the National Institute of Statistics (INE) predicts that almost 40 per cent of people will be aged over 65 by 2064, while the number of people living alone will increase by almost 38 per cent in the next 15 years. The predicted decline in numbers is the result of Spain's falling birth-rate, a trend that began in 2009.

Witches, ghosts, and ghouls will be gathering in Torrevieja tonight (October 31st) for a colourful Halloween Parade which will start at 9.00pm from the Plaza de la Constitución, finishing by the monument on Paseo Vista Alegre. Last year’s successful dancing to Michael Jackson’s Thriller will be repeated along with some new numbers featuring youngsters that have been choreographed by dancer Domingo Sanchez.

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Roma rights groups are to protest against the decision by Spain's Royal Language Academy (RAE) to include a definition of a 'gypsy' as a 'swindler' in their new official dictionary.

Spain's Association of Roma Feminists for DIversity (AGFD) are planning a demonstration in Madrid on Friday November 7th after learning of the new definition, included in the 23rd edition of the RAE's massive new dictionary of the Spanish language.

The previous edition was criticized by the Romani Union in 2012 for defining the word 'gitano' (gypsy), also the name for Spain's Roma community, as 'someone who scams or works through deceit'. The RAE then agreed to amend the definition but Roma community groups were outraged when they read the updated version.

The offending definition had been removed but a new, fifth definition now described 'gitano' as meaning 'trapacero' (swindler). RAE's dictionary in turn defines 'trapecero' as 'From "swindle": deceptive and unlawful artifice used to harm or defraud someone in a purchase, sale or exchange.'

CORPSE RIDDLE

The Guardia Civil is trying to identify the body of a woman that was found lying by the AP7 motorway near L'Alfas del Pi in the Benidorm area early on Monday morning. No documentation was found on the woman who was said to be in her fifties and there were no apparent signs of a collision with a vehicle.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

BIN THERE, DONE THAT

Sevilla authorities have been slammed for raising the fine for people who trawl through rubbish containers to 750 euros. Opponents have described the council’s move like “shooting flies with cannon balls".

"When you have to look after the people's health, (and take care of) cleanliness, you can't let people throw rubbish around containers," said tough talking Sevilla mayor, Juan Ignacio Ziodo.

Asked how people trawling for trash were going to actually stump up the sums involved, Zoido said it was all about dissuading people from doing so and encouraging them to "go to social services for help" instead.

NEEDLESS SACRIFICE

MEET THE EXPERTS

Shoppers at the Iceland stores in San Javier and Torrevieja can get a bit extra for their money this month, as experts from the British Consulate and the Alicante Healthcare Team will be on hand to offer advice and to make sure that people are properly registered for healthcare.

They will have a stand at the entrance to the stores in San Javier and Torrevieja with information about padróns, residencias, properties, and healthcare in addition to how to keep in touch with the Embassy via social media. The team will be in San Javier this Monday November 3rd between 11.00am and 3.00pm, and at the same times in Torrevieja the following week on Wednesday November 12th.

British Vice Consul, Lloyd Milen says: “We are really grateful to Iceland for giving us the opportunity to use their stores to talk to British nationals. I hope Brits will have a chance to talk to us about what their concerns are and how we can help them. It’s also a chance for shoppers to check that they are registered for healthcare and get answers to any questions they may have about living in Spain. We hope to see you there!”

PUT TO THE SWORD A petition with close to 100 thousand signatures has been handed over to the Spanish parliament, calling for the sacking of health minister Ana Mato over her decision to put down the dog of the Madrid nurse who got Ebola. The document which was put together by the animal rights group PACMA, also called for the Madrid health boss Javier Rodríguez and top official Julio Zarco to step down for their role in the animal's death.

Excalibur was put down earlier this month over concerns it could spread the deadly disease — a move which led to angry confrontations between police and protesters outside Romero's home. The decision to kill the pet even provoked a global Twitter campaign with people posting pictures of their own dogs alongside messages of support for Excalibur.

"Teresa Romero’s dog Excalibur was sacrificed despite the opposition of her owners, thousands of citizens and experts, without evening knowing if it has been infected (with Ebola) and knowing that there are no studies which show that Ebola can be transmitted from dogs to humans," Pacma said in a statement.

TWO LESS

Two Albanians with false Italian ID cards have been arrested at San Javier airport. The two were planning to board a flight to Dublin when the National Police got suspicious and spotted that their documentation was fake. They had bought the cards for 300 euros each and had travelled to Italy as tourists and then onto Spain, with border checks not being carried out as Italy and Spain are parties to the EU Schengen agreement of open border travel for EU nationals. The plan had been to try and enter the UK via Ireland.

Mark the Dancer and the rest of the Torrevieja Pipes and Drums team got off a special fundraising day to a knifeedge start last Saturday. Over three thousand euros were raised for the Help for Heroes charity in a day of fun and entertainment in La Zenia, with the Pipes and Drums getting things going with a parade from the Consum car park. Good crowds enjoyed the day with a collection also being made for the Little Pod Association.

OH NO FOR ONO Mobile phone giant Vodafone has said they are investigating tax fraud allegations at its newly-bought Spanish firm Ono. It comes after a report that cable company Ono had failed to declare an amount of IVA in an alleged fraud before Vodafone's takeover earlier this year. Vodafone said that as soon as it became aware of the issue, the company "instigated a forensic audit to investigate the facts relating to the alleged fraud". The British company bought Ono for just over seven billion euros.

RAJOY’S CORVERA PLEDGE

Spain’s Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, has given his top level backing to the new Murcia International Airport at Corvera, and promised the stalled project his support. The leader, who spoke at a weekend Partido Popular rally in Murcia, vowed to “solve the problem of the airport”, though he did not get into any specifics. The matter is currently under investigation by the European Commission over the issue of a government loan to the airport operator, with no imminent decision likely, despite October being pencilled in as likely. On other matters, Rajoy said that Spain's banking system was in "stupendous" shape after almost all of the country's banks passed a European Central Bank stress test exercise.

PEDAL POWER

TIC TAC DONE Hundreds of families got on their bike in Almoradi last Sunday to raise money for the local food bank in the eighth staging of La Fiesta de la Bici. They went around an eight kilometre circular route starting and finish at the town square, with local dignitaries, including the Mayor, Antonio Angel Hurtado. The event also coincided with the final day of the Tapas Runs around Almoradi.

NO RESOLUTION A pub fruit machine robber is said to be on the run in Spain after failing to answer bail at York Crown Court over an offence in Scarborough. 35 year old Brian Sexton from Airdrie in Scotland is now wanted on warrant after failing to appear, whilst his two colleagues both admitted to theft and were given eight week jail stretches.

A national coach company is staging three one day strikes to cause maximum disruption over key travel periods.

Workers from Auto-Res have walked out today(October 31st) and will also strike on Friday, November 7th, and again on Friday, December 5th just before the long weekend encompassing the bank holidays of December 6th and 8th. The strike is in protest over changes in their working conditions that will involve wage cuts of between 30 and 40 per cent.

Friday, October 31, 2014

GREAT RESPONSE

There has already been a fantastic response to an appeal published in the last edition of The Courier for help to save a Los Altos woman and her son from eviction next month which could result in his being taken into care. Last week´s Courier featured the plight of Alicia Garcia and her nine-year-old son, called Angel following a fire at their home. She has to pay a €4,378 insurance bill to cover the cost of fire damage to an adjoining house by December 15th, or she will face a court appearance and having to pay thousands

more euros in costs, leading to eviction.

Within hours of the story being published, a Courier advertiser, OP Group Spain, offered their help, asking for donations from their clients. They already have a small charity fund in place at the Algorfa office from second hand book sales and this money will go to the appeal, with staff members also contributing. Meanwhile, Torrevieja’s International Christian Assembly church will be donating its pastoral care donation this Sunday to the appeal.

Other events planned include a fashion show on Tuesday November 18th from noon at the Charity Market in The Celtic Isle, Playa Flamenca, plus entertainment, whilst on Saturday November 29th, there´s a Xmas dinner/dance at The Asturias Restaurant, Punta Prima.

A TASTE OF SPAIN

Food fans will be able to enjoy Torrevieja’s second-ever 'Semana de la Cuchara' or Spoon Week from Monday November 3rd through till the following Sunday. 20 restaurants will be taking part, giving diners the chance to sample traditional Vega Baja dishes as well as those from across Spain, with prices ranging between 15 and 25 euros per head. Stews and fish dishes appear to be leading the choices along with vegetarian fare. The event was officially launched by Torrevieja’s Tourism councillor, Luis Maria Pizana, along with the Hospitality Association President, José Antonio Lozano.

SMOOTHING OUT

Recent resurfacing work has been done on some of the smaller rural roads around the Rojales area. The project, funded joint by the Rojales and Alicante Provincial councils has already seen resurfacing on the Camino Viejo de Orihuela(Orihuela Old Way… pictured), with more improvements scheduled for the Camino de los Huertos(Orchards).

SHAKEN NOT STIRRED

A 1.7 magnitude earthquake was registered in the early hours of last Sunday morning off the coast of Torrevieja. The quake, at 4.08am, was centred in the sea off Cabo Cervera, and measured by the National Geographic Institute.

MORE ON ROLL UP, THE TABLE ROLL UP

Operations at San Javier’s Los Arcos hospital are up by sixteen per cent over the last year with facilities at the hospital having improved substantially over the last few years, meaning fewer transfers to other hospitals in the region. The rises have come through investment in the latest technology at Los Arcos along with specialists and extra staff in a variety of fields like trauma and ophthalmology.

Spanish traditions are being spotlighted in San Pedro del Pinatar’s traditional annual craft market which will run until Sunday November 9th. The stalls offer a variety of traditional hand made products, such as date bread, natural honey, sweet buns, sweets shaped liked bones or skulls, nut brittle and a wide range of other Murcian crafts.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

HUSBAND’S REVENGE ON “SCUM”

All of the patients who were isolated a Madrid hospital after having contact with a Spanish nurse who contracted and beat the deadly Ebola virus left the facility on Monday, after being given the all-clear by doctors after being quarantined for 21 days over fears they could have contracted Ebola via contact with nursing assistant Teresa Romero. Among those patients was Juan Manuel Parra Ramírez, a doctor who treated Romero at Madrid's Alcorcón hospital before she was transferred to Carlos III. Ramírez described the period in quarantine as "very difficult" but expressed his

"great joy" at Romero's recovery. Also released was Romero's husband Javier Limón, who pulled no punches as he announced that he was taking legal action against people who have criticized his wife over her role in the crisis.

In an interview with the El Mundo newspaper on Sunday, Limón said he and his wife had been "treated like scum" and singled out Madrid's regional health chief, Javier Rodríguez over comments the official made suggesting Romero had lied about the state of her health.

He would sue Rodríguez for sullying the reputation of him and his wife, Limón said.

Romero, the first person known to have contracted the Ebola disease outside of Africa, will remain in hospital for several more days, as will one other person who had contact with her and was admitted to hospital with fever, but who has since tested negative for the virus.

Romero contracted Ebola after volunteering to treat two Spanish missionaries infected with the virus who were repatriated to Spain in August and September. A total of 4,922 people have died in the latest Ebola outbreak, the World Health Organization said earlier this week, adding over 10,000 have been infected.

CORRUPTION DRAGNET

Monday early morning wake-up calls, including the Murcia region, welcomed dozens of public officials, bureaucrats and business leaders across Spain as they were arrested part of a wide-ranging corruption investigation, just a day after the prime minister, Mariano Rajoy, downplayed the scale of graft in the country. Speaking on Sunday, Rajoy sought to depict the issue as a case of a few bad apples and one that must not define Spain. Noting that the justice system was doing its job, he said, “a few small incidents isn’t the same thing as 46 million people nor all of Spain”.

Less than 24 hours later, 51 people – including top members of Rajoy’s ruling People’s party (PP) – were arrested as part of an investigation into “a network of corruption” that involved contracts worth roughly 250 million euros, country’s anticorruption prosecutor’s office said on Monday.

The investigation focused on the regions of Madrid, Murcia, León & Valencia, the prosecutor’s statement said.

“The collusion between local councillors and civil servants, with builders and energy service companies, and the corruption of middle-men and key companies, has helped them to secure contracts worth around €250m in the past two

years alone.”

Those arrested include Francisco Granados, a former high-ranking PP official in the Madrid region who stepped down in February after it emerged he had at least €1.5m in a Swiss bank account. As many as six mayors from the Madrid region were also reportedly among those arrested. They face charges including money laundering, embezzlement and influence peddling. The Murcia arrests feature the former Mayor of Cartagena from the early nineties, Jose Antonio Alonso, who now lives in Madrid; as well as a number of past and present members of the Murcia Tourist Institute, including the current boss, Mariola Martinez.

The raid is the latest in a series of scandals that have entangled Spanish politicians and bankers. An investigation into the misuse of company credit cards by more than 80 officials connected to savings bank Caja Madrid has dominated headlines in recent weeks.

The officials allegedly racked up charges on the cards of more than €15m on everything from groceries to safaris. The bill for Rodrigo Rato, a former head of the International Monetary Fund and a former PP finance minister, came to more than €54,800. That of chief executive Miguel Blesa came to €436,700, including €10,000 spent on wine and more than €1,500 at ice cream shops. The lavish spending continued for many of them in 2010, when Caja Madrid folded into Bankia. Two years later, facing near-collapse, Bankia became the symbol of the country’s financial crisis and forced Spain to seek an EU bailout.

As corruption consistently ranks as a top concern for Spaniards, second only to unemployment, and with an eye on upcoming municipal and regional elections in the spring, Spain’s political parties have been keen to appear as if they are tackling the issue. The rising popularity of Podemos, an anti-austerity party that promises to rid Spain of corruption, has also been credited with sparking a shift in the political attitude towards corruption.

Friday, October 31, 2014

CALPE SCALPED

Team Cyclogical in Quesada are always up for a challenge and we’ve featured some recent local rides that you can enjoy, but nine members earlier this month decided to really go for it by travelling up north to Calpe to take part in the fifth Trofeo Penon de Ifach Sportif, and they couldn’t believe what happened!

The race was well organised by Patrick and Kathy Deneut with plenty of helpers assisting to marshal the 126 kms route, with no mass start which was a big improvement on recent years due to everybody having a microchip on them. 216 cyclists took part in what turned out to be a tough course, with many of them saying it was the hardest event that they have ever done. The first group of riders were back around the four hour mark with many others taking over six hours to complete the circuit.

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It was a great day for the Cyclogical team, because they won the team event, despite the fact that five of them had only been cycling road bikes for a year and were taking part in their very first Sportif event! Everyone finished in the top half of the table, and picked up an impressive crystal trophy shaped like the Calpe mountain, called “Penon de Ifach”.

The Team are pictured on their trusted steads at the start which was in front of the hotel from left to right: Alan Quearns, Peter Cunningham, Malcky Murray, Martyn Stone, Gary Routledge, Kelvin Howard, Dave Robertson, Owen Desmond and Paul Durrant.

Team “Cyclogical” meet every Thursday night at 5.30pm and Sunday mornings at 8am and cover between 90 and 100kms at a moderate to fast pace catering for all abilities. So, if you fancy a challenge come along and join us. Phone Gary on 637 487 377.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

A MONSTER AMONG US

'DO you believe in monsters?' Daft Barry asked me in the pub the other evening.

'It depends what you mean by the term,' I responded. 'If by monster you are referring to a large, ugly, and frightening creature with the head of a hyena and hindquarters of a wolf, then my answer must be no, not really.

'If on the other hand you are referring to my motherin-law . . .'

'That's enough of that!' interjected Andromeda Arkwright, the first female member of our pub discussion group. 'We'll have no sexist bawdiness in this establishment if you don't mind.'

Dave the barman held up an admonishing hand.

'While I agree that Dave Silver witters on most of the time, I feel I must endorse and defend his right to free speech.'

'In that case,' said Andromeda, 'Much as though I love you fellows very much, I shall have to exercise my right to withhold dipping into my purse every 20 minutes to pay for a round of drinks.'

Dave the barman turned ashen at the prospect of los-

ing effectively his only source of business and fainted to the floor. His first words after regaining consciousness were: 'Dave Silver, kindly keep your troublesome trap shut!'

I went over to Andromeda to apologise. 'Once again I have sacrificed a sensible conversation on the altar of cheap humour. I actually get on very well with my motherin-law. It's her daughter I have problems with.'

Andromeda raised her eyebrows. 'Sorry again.' I said. 'I've just sacrificed Mrs S on the same altar. Just ignore everything I say from now on, which is what everybody does to me in the end anyway.'

Normal pub routine swiftly resumed. Andromeda paid for a round of drinks and then continued to explain to Daft Barry about how life in general worked; Indoor Lou and Fearful Phil embarked on a game of shove ha'penny with Andromeda's change; and I attempted to single-handedly lift up our group's oldest member Ol' Red Eyes from the floor where he was slumbering.

It was not that Ol' Red Eyes was in an uncomfortable position and that I was

trying to unscramble his legs so that the poor chap would not suffer a leg cramp. No, it was the fact that I needed the loo and the semi-comatose Ol' Red Eyes was blocking my path.

Suddenly, I didn't need the loo any more.

Standing in the shadows just a few feet away was a tall figure, covered from head to foot in a sopping-wet, green mossy substance.

'Yikes!' I screamed out loud, at the same time wondering what the exclamation 'yikes' meant and why we uttered such meaningless words to signify shock and dismay.

All pub activity came to a halt as everyone stared at me. The silence was broken as Dave the barman commented sadly: 'The wretched fellow has lost the last of his marbles.'

A n d r o m e d a Arkwright held out her comforting arms to me and cried: 'Come to Momma for a reassur-

ing hug!'

Daft Barry looked puzzled and asked: 'Was Dave Silver doing a bird impression when he shouted yikes? Can he whistle like a cockatiel, too?

I'd sure like to hear that.'

Indoor Lou and Fearful Phil returned to their game of shove ha'penny.

And then the penny dropped with Daft Barry.

Snapping his fingers as his short-term m e m o r y returned, he exclaimed: 'That's why I asked Dave Silver if he believed in monsters. I saw that thing lurking in the shadows.'

And Daft Barry pointed at the tall, sopping-wet figure covered in green moss.

And now

everybody in the pub shrieked 'Yikes!' as the strange form emerged slowly from the darkness.

I gazed closely at the figure and noticed the smouldering remains of a wet cigarette held tightly between two green-moss covered lips. 'Don't panic!' I cried out.

'It's only Fag Ash Bill.'

Yes, the 'monster' was indeed our pal and pub regular who spent every evening alongside us. Well, not exactly alongside us but on the pavement outside the hostelry puffing on his cigarettes.

Fag Ash Bill spluttered and spat out a gobful of green water. 'It's raining cats and dogs out there and the gutters have just collapsed under the weight of all that green moss stuck inside them. The flaming downpipe missed me by inches.

'It's left a right mess,' Fag Ash Bill went on. 'And I'll tell you something else,' he said, pointing a green, mossy finger at Dave the barman. 'It's going to cost a damned fortune to put it right.'

It was Dave the barman's turn to turn green. 'Yikes!' he croaked before collapsing into another faint.

Friday, October 31, 2014

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Friday, October 31, 2014

A DECADE OF SONG

The Crescendo Intenational Choir celebrated it’s tenth birthday at El Paraiso, Torrevieja and of course the star attraction was a specially baked cake. 47 members performed 10 songs to commemorate the last decade together which has seen singers from all nationalities coming together to perform, with choir director, Irene Oliva, and Tony Guillen being Spanish born and bred.

Crescendo is four-part choir:- soprano,

alto, tenor and bass, but the “lower” end at the party had only seven people, namely six guys and one lady, so Crescendo are looking for more men to join them. Any pitch, any language and bags of enthusiasm plus the willingness to learn is all that is needed!

More details are on their website (crescendo-choir.com) or turn up at a rehearsal on a Friday at 9.45 a.m. at El Paraiso, near Carrefour.

HAVING A BALL

Local children will be the beneficiaries from a Charity Ball next Friday night (November 7th) at the Principe de Asturias in Santiago de la Ribera. Aidemar, who support local youngsters with disabilities, and Afacmur (a Murcia regional children’s cancer charity) will be looking to have their coffers boosted on the night which will cost 18 euros per person. For that, there’s a four course meal, plus some Motown sounds from Richie Alexander, and Spanish singer and instrumentalist, Mano Sanchez. A fund-raising raffle will also happen on the night. For more details and reservations, call 968 574 576 or 675 157 244.

GIVING IT SOME AMMA

The newly-formed San Pedro del Pinatar-based charity, AMMA, is putting on a big charity concert this Sunday at the Pilar Cinema as a major fundraiser for the group. AMMA is about helping people who suffer from Alzheimer’s or other debilitating illnesses or traumas such as strokes.

The charity night, which starts at 7.30pm, features a variety of local performances including the singer Rebecca Holt; The

Torrevieja Barbershop Harmonisers; T.A.A.B.S; as well as dancing from The Crazy Ladies and the Flemenco for All Dancers, under the directorship of Raquel Pena. Tickets cost only five euros and can be reserved by calling 965 319 279 or 669 179 281.

AMMA was formed to provide a day care centre for people who have Alzheimer’s or other debilitating conditions and to offer much needed relief for their carers. There was

felt to be a need for a centre that specifically met the needs of English speakers as well as Spanish people, and with the help of Raquel Pena, San Pedro council was approached to see if premises could be provided for such a centre.

The centre is now looking for psychologists, physiotherapists, as well as volunteers who can speak both Spanish and English.

For more details, phone Louise Innes on 965 322 614.

NICE ONE GAV

Gavin Leer recently lost over five stone with the help and support of personal trainer Steve Greenwood and to prove his fitness level he even took part in the Rojales 10K run, with his first ever race clocking a brilliant time of 57 minutes. With Gavin losing family and friends to cancer, he decided to run for the AECC cancer charity, with Gavin pictured alongside Steve Greenwood, as well as Debbie Weedon from the Quesada Pink Ladies accepting his cheque on behalf of Maria and the Pink Ladies.

BUY AND SAVE

A chance for a bargain before the Christmas rush is the perfect excuse to check out a fund-raising event for MABS Murcia Menor. The charity is hosting a Glitz and Glamour Fashion Show at the Luis Lounge on the San Javier campsite on Tuesday November 11th from 4.00pm. High quality used clothing and accessories will be on sale, with entry being just four euros, which includes a glass of wine or a soft drink.

Tickets are available from Luis Lounge or the MABS shop in San Javier.

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LUZ LIGHTS NICE AND EASY UP CHARITY

Help at Home Murcia got a great boost to the tune of just over two thousand euros at their recent Fashion Show and Craft Fair at the Roda Centro Civico. The highlight of the afternoon (apart from the HAH volunteers modelling!), was a cheque presentation for 2,250 euros. Last year, the Worshipful Master, Barry Dell of the Luz de Murcia Masonic Lodge chose HAH to be one of the recipients of monies raised during his year in office, the other being for AFACMUR, helping families of children with cancer.

Pam Prince, HAH volunteer and secretary who organised the event on receiving the cheque said “we are thrilled to bits to be chosen by the Luz de Murcia, and are so grateful for this fantastic donation” In reply Barry Dell said “we are delighted to be able to help such worthwhile charities whose volunteers work so hard to help others with their problems, so many people are grateful for all the hard work they do, long may it continue”.

If you would like to join the HAH Care Team, and help when and where needed on an ad hoc basis, please e-mail helpathomespain@gmail.com. Or phone Lesley on 968 134 978.

STRIKES AND SPARES

Bowling balls and pins were the sound of a night out for members of the Torrevieja Costa Lions Club with a competitive but fun tenpin event at Quesada Bowling. The winner was a friend of the President, Iain Bennett, in the form of Andy Colquhoun, both pictured alongside event organiser Tom Antrobus.

The Lions enjoy having a good time as well helping people in the community that are less fortunate than others, with a worldwide member ship of 1.3 million people. The Torrevieja club will be celebrating their tenth anniversary next year and if you are interested in joining, then contact President Iain on idsbennett@hotmail.co.uk or phone 966 731 495.

A WORTHY LIFE

American singer and minister, David Worth Hinton, will be giving a special performance in Torrevieja next month. He has worked in many American inner city areas as well as ministrying in many jails as well as taking the word of God to rodeos and other cowboy events. David was born in Dallas, Texas and was raised in central Oklahoma, and for the last 17 years, he’s lived with his family in an Indian reservation in Canada.

David’s special blend of music and conversation will be put on at Torrevieja’s International Christian Assembly church on Calle Torre de la Horadada 5 on Thursday November 13th, with free admission, though a free-will offering will be taken on the night.

OPEN HOUSE

Age Concern, Costa Blanca South, are to celebrate ten years of their local headquarters in the La Siesta area of Torrevieja by opening up their doors for people to see the wide range of work they do. The Open Week will run between Monday November 10th and Friday November 14th, with the centre located on Calle Paganini in La Siesta.

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre’s Guardamar charity shop has switched to some new, modern and central premises, with better car parking in the area. The rescue centre’s co-founders, Sue and Rod Weeding, are also planning to further expand their network of eight charity shops to include a second “euro shop” in Dolores by the end of the year.

“We now have 81 horses, ponies and donkeys at the centre and we need a minimum of 4 thousand euros a week to keep us going – and that doesn’t cover surgeries or hospitalisations,” Sue says.

“We are now in our seventh year and we get good support from the police across the region who are now our side in what we do. It’s so important that we can always respond when they give us a call over any horses that have been discovered in a distressful situation.

That’s why the shops are vital to generate money for us to continue our work.”

Sue says more volunteers are needed at the relocated Guardamar shop, in Calle de la Puerta del Cairo(next door to the Pil Pil fish restaurant), 03140 Guardamar del Segura. She is also calling for expressions of interest for people interested in volunteering at the Dolores euro shop. You can get more details by calling the charity shop hotline on 652 021 980, and you if want to donate large items of furniture, you can also arrange pick-ups via this number.

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre is open to the public the first Sunday of every month between 1pm and 4pm. The centre is located just outside Rojales at Partido Lo Garriga 59.

For directions, please visit www.easyhorsecare.net.

THIRD TIME LUCKY? Torrevieja-based singer-songwriter Shani Ormiston has been nominated for the third year in a row for the “Hollywood Music in Media Awards 2014”, known as the ‘Oscars of independent artists’ that recognises the best producers and composers of the world in distinct categories, such as music, films, television, and videos.

Shani has been nominated in two categories with “Once Upon a Time” nominated as Best Pop Song of 2014 and “Brave” in the Contemporary Adult Category. The event takes place this Tuesday night(November 4th in Los Angeles).

“To know that I have been nominated is excellent piece of news,” said Shani. “I feel tremendously happy as this is another step forward in my career. Just to be nominated is something magical.”

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Friday, October 31, 2014

TOP OF THE WOOFS This week, I thought we would look at some top ten doggy lists, and it does make for some fascinating reading. You may be surprised or even shocked if your favourite breed does not make the final shakedown and it certainly gives you a few talking points for weeks to come! www.thedogyouneed.co m is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our charity registra-

Top ten most intelligent dogs: 1 - Border Collie (pictured with me....he’s the smart one on the right!)

2 - Poodle 3 - German Shepherd 4 - Golden Retriever 5 - Doberman Pinscher 6 - Shetland Sheepdog 7 - Labrador Retriever 8 - Papillon 9 - Rottweiler 10 - Australian Cattle tion number is 1157175. If Dog you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do

by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.co m or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60-16-03 and the account number is 73754900. When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you.

Longest Living

Top ten longest living dogs 1 - Max - Beagle-Dachshund mix - 29 years, 282 days - USA 2 - Bluey - Australian Cattle Dog - 29 years, 160 days Australia

Top ten most popular breeds in the UK 1. Labrador Retriever 2. Cocker Spaniel 3. Springer Spaniel (English) 4. German Shepherd 5. Staffordshire Bull Terrier 6. Border Terrier 7. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel 8. Golden Retriever 9. Pug 10. Boxer

3 - Butch - Beagle - 28 years - USA 4 - Bramble - Border Collie - 27 years, 211 days - UK 5 - Adjutant - Labrador-Retriever cross - 27 years, 98 days - UK 6 - Pusuke - Shiba-Inu mix - 26 years, 248 days - Japan

PETS CORNER : CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

CHICO Chico is a one year old dog, who is an adorable short haired pointer cross with a lovely affectionate nature. He gets on with all other dogs and is great with people too. He loves playing and would make a great family pet. For more information on this special boy, please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

Chip is one of four adorable puppies that were due to be put to sleep, but are now safe in foster care.

They are little darlings and pick up on things very quickly, and we believe they are about nine weeks old and they will not be very big. To find out more about Chip or one of his siblings, please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com

Keisha is a Himalayan cat and is so friendly to everyone and follows her fosterer on walks. She is one year old and has had five kittens.

They are currently being weaned by their fosterer.

Keisha's best friend is Sasha the large husky/German shepherd and it would lovely if they could be homed together.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

SASHA

JANY

CHIP

home of their own, and please contact the kennels directly in Dolores on 966 710 047 email info@satanimalrescue.com

Jany is one of our greyhound puppies that are growing up fast and are now four months old. They’ve had all their vaccinations and can now go out for walks. We have eight lovelies waiting for a new

Sasha is a beautiful Siberian Husky/German Shepherd cross aged around three years. She loves to play and retrieve a stick or a ball and her best friend is Keisha the cat. If you would like to take Sasha into your life please call us on 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

KEISHA

MADISON Madison is a five month old Podenco mixture, with an affectionate nature and excellent with with other dogs. She just needs her new home with her passport and vaccinations all ready.

To visit Madison in the Torrevieja area, phone 634 065 540 or email lasthopedogrescue@outlook.com

Top ten countries with highest dog populations 1 - USA 75.8m 2 - Brazil 35.7m 3 - China 27.4m 4 - Russia 15m 5 - Japan 12m 6 - Philippines 1.6m 7 - India 10.2m 8 - Argentina 9.2m 9 - France 7.4m 10 - Romania 4.1m

Top ten dog names of 2014 1 - Bella 2 - Max 3 - Buddy 4 - Lucy 5 - Daisy 6 - Molly 7 - Bailey 8 - Maggie 9 - Charlie 10 - Sadie

Most Popular

Top ten dogs in films 1 - Marley - Marley and Me 2 - Beethoven Beethoven 3 - Lassie - Lassie 4 - Toto - The Wizard of Oz 5 - Hachi - Hachi 6 - Hooch - Turner and Hooch 7 - Benji - Benji 8 - Bingo - Bingo 9 - Winn-Dixie - Because of Winn-Dixie 10 - Jerry Lee - K-9

7 - Sugar - Mix - 24 years, 360 days - USA 8 - Piccolo - Mix - 23 years, 86 days - Italy 9 - Kathy - Mix - 22 years, 29 days - USA 10 - Mister - German Shepherd mix - 21 years, 332 days - USA

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Friday, October 31, 2014

NOT LOST IN TRANSLATION

Last weekend I did something that I haven´t done for years; in fact not since I left London to make a life for myself here in Spain. It is a thing that I had enjoyed immensely in the UK, something I did as often as possible and all over the country, not just in the capital. I went to a theatre in Murcia to see a musical, the Spanish call it Los Miserables, and of course we Brits give it the French name of Les Miserables.

I have seen the show twice at London’s Palace Theatre, but in Murcia it was in Spanish, which made it a first for me and meant I have a new experience to look back on, along with my friend Rachael (pictured).

I am a fan of musicals, and I have loved them for as long as I can remember. Les Miserables was the one I remember seeing way back in the mid 1980´s and since that outing I have seen an array of stories put to music in a variety of theatres, from huge West End monuments to small town auditoriums. All though have left me with a lasting impression and growing adoration of this art form. I have to admit to liking the tragedies over comedies or feel-good shows; therefore Evita would win out over Jersey Boys every time.

I am drawn to a good story and the hint of pain that goes with the sad songs makes a musical tragedy the perfect mix of drama and musicality. I´m not interested either in only new or big budget shows, I would rank the relatively unknown Blood Brothers alongside the spectacular Miss Saigon, both of which I have seen on London stages and I adored both with the same pas-

sion.

The list of shows is endless and I often think I must have forgotten one from the list as I try to remember everything! So then to my new experience watching a musical not in English and I have to say although there were times when I didn´t understand the words in the songs, I knew the story well enough to be able to deal with the lack of vocabulary. When I was fine in understanding the translation, I was struck by how the

lyrics had to be changed to fit with the music, not always following the English version although they were almost always a correct translation, but there was somewhere a feeling in my heart that that it wasn’t quite right! For me, the words are the important part of any song, and in musicals they are, of course, much more important than the music, and when the lyrics are so well-written in English it seems difficult to give it the same feeling in a different language. Even though this particular show was first written in French, somehow Herbert Kretzmer, who wrote the English lyrics did such a good job that it seemed to have been written in English as a first language and as such, the Spanish translations fell a bit flat.

That said, it was great to go back to the theatre and experience the joy of watching something live, with the thrill of seeing the artistes in all their glory and in full flow helping to bring back the feelings I had when I myself trod the boards many moons ago. It was also fantastic to get out of the house with my friend for a few hours to forget everything that life was throwing at me and just relax.

I would recommend the theatre to anyone over here but of course if your Spanish isn´t too good, you would need to know the story before going, otherwise you could easily find yourself lost, both with plays and musicals! However once you have that date set and the tickets booked, the only thing left to do is sit back and wait for your special evening. Wherever you go and whatever you see, it will be worth it! Just take that first step; check online for local theatres and find something to excite and thrill you. Fill up your memory box with exciting new experiences and you will never feel like you had a life half lived.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

STAND AND DELIVER

Dick Turpin on his trusted steed, Black Bess, could never have performed a robbery better than the European Union with their order to the UK to cough up 1.8 billion extra quid into their coffers by December 1st or else! The actions of the EU even got David Cameron turning green into an Incredible Hulk lookalike as he got angry in front of the cameras….very angry in fact as his shirt started to rip apart and the buttons flew off. It was an Oscar-winning performance because the PM must have been saying to himself: “Thank you EU idiots.

You’ve given me a gift ahead of the next election by forcing a showdown and refusing to pay. That will get me lots of votes”. It’s an early Christmas present for the Tories, who are set certain defeat to UKIP in the forthcoming Rochester byelection, but a protracted showdown with the EU is

perfect for them especially as it will run for months, if they’ve the guts to do it.

Here’s the kicker for me.

I’m a believer and supporters of the EU, despite their stupidity and wastefulness. But w h e n they do things like this ( a n d Barroso’s stupid words last week), and knowing the anti-EU feeling in the UK at the moment, they really are trying their best to make sure that public opinion is solidly in favour of pulling

out. As an aside, Labour’s

some paella one recent

Ed Balls was left floundering when he said that the 1.8 billion quid bill would not have happened on his watch! What planet is he on?

Whilst stuffing myself with

afternoon, I stumbled across a fascinating TV documentary about the former Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev (who apparently is close to death). As I started to imbibe some sangria,

my television picture started to wobble a little and then go a pecul i a r shade of grey.

As I begun to make adjustments with my remote control, an eerie figure of a former Prime Minister, J o h n M a j o r, c a m e out of the misty haze. On adjusting the brightness and contrast settings to the maximum, I realised that there was nothing wrong with the picture, and that I had completely forgotten

what a zero impact he had had on British political life during his six years or so in Downing Street. His grey pea-eating puppet character on ‘Spitting Image’ summed him up perfectly, but I’ll give him a tiny bit of credit for being a cricket fan.

It says something that Major is best remembered for poking around with the vile publicity-seeking Edwina Currie behind his wife’s back, rather than doing anything of any lasting substance for the United Kingdom. The bespectacled hypocrite then had the gall to tell a Tory Party Conference about the importance of family values and that we needed to get ‘back to basics’. Even the brass-necked Currie admitted some years later that she squirmed at hearing that speech, which is saying something as a Major oration would generally have zero impact. Along with Gordon Brown, he’s a Prime Minister best forgotten.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VE BEEN BURGLED. Statistics in Spain Crime rates in Spain remain among the lowest in the EU according to the latest Interior Ministry crime report. However, since the economic crisis began in 2008, there has been a steep increase in domestic burglaries and theft as a result. In 2012 the number of burglaries in homes rose by 25.4%. The message to expat residents is not to panic. There are some simple precautions to take, as you would back in the UK, such as fitting security grills, installing exterior lights and alarms, being careful about what content is posted on social networks, especially anything to do with trips and holidays away from home. It also helps to take out a quality home insurance policy that will cover your home and its contents should any unfortunate incident occur.

When you discover you’ve been burgled As soon as you discover you’ve been burgled, whether it’s a break-in or theft at your home, first call the police. Don’t touch anything until they arrive. A police report will be needed to process your claim.

Then secure your home to avoid further damage, board up any broken windows, make a list of damaged or missing belongings, detail the damage to your home resulting from the burglary, taking photographs of damaged windows or door.

At this point, you can call the claims department of your home insurance company. We advise you to have your policy on hand when you call.

Peace-of-mind with Linea Directa We understand that your peace-of-mind is important, especially in your home. Our claims department will take a full statement of the circumstances of the incident. We will check the insurance coverage with you explaining all the procedures. If emergency repairs are required from locksmiths to glaziers, we will help you swiftly handle your claim and get things back to normal as soon as possible. Fortunately, incidents of theft in Spain are relatively small compared to other EU countries, however should you be burgled, your homeowner’s insurance policy will cover the loss or destruction of personal property if it’s stolen from your home.

Hold-up outside the home In many cases, your home insurance policy may cover you for any incidents that occur outside your home. Should you be the victim of a hold-up outside your premises your personal belongings are covered. We will ensure replacement documents are quickly and efficiently dealt with, and if required, arrange the locks on your home to be changed.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, October 31, 2014

ANTI-EU BRITS GET A GIFT DOES anyone in their right mind believe that Britain gets £8.6bn of value out of the EU each year?

For so many people in the UK, membership of the EU has spelled no more than a load of trouble.

Trouble from the huge army of immigrants who have poured into Britain thanks to open borders, leading to lower rates of pay; trouble because of the interpretations of the Human Rights Act from the European Court so we can´t get rid of foreign undesirables; and trouble from a raft of legislation which has cost Britain dear. And now, to top insult to injury, the wretched, wasteful gravy train is demanding an extra £1.7bn because Britain has been more successful than other countries in Europe! If this doesn´t spur everyone to vote UKIP and get the hell out of Europe nothing will.

David Cameron may huff and puff about the £1.7bn surcharge and say he will not pay. But he knows only too well that all the time Britain is in the club it must play by the rules - rules set

by Europe and not by Britain - and that´s the rub.

Can you image Cameron going to the country having to admit he has had to take £1.7bn from the British coffers - money much needed for the NHS, schools, or to write down the national debt - to hand to Germany and France? It´s unimaginable, ridiculous, political suicide, but he´s got to do it. What´s even more ridiculous is the fact that the vast sum Britain is being ordered to pay is as a result of new financial calculations of Britain´s success - including, for the first time, the black economy, which includes drugs and prostitution. Since Victorian times,

Britain has pretended that prostitution didn´t exist, or was something that was so nasty that it couldn´t be talked about, or simply swept under the carpet, hidden out of sight. While other European countries accepted the inevitable, and accommodated it in ways like Amsterdam in Holland, Britain has carried on its pretence.

And now, because it has to be calculated as part of the GDP, it has suddenly found itself with all this extra wealth created out of sex. And Europe wants a slice of the action!

And the timing has created a perfect storm for those politicians who want Britain to remain playing in a big political pond which is Europe. Probably soon the playground will be closed.

WHAT happened to make England become El Dorado in the eyes of hundreds of thousands of immigrants from Africa, the Middle East and Eastern Europe? Why is it that the vast hordes of people who manage to get into Europe through Turkey, Greece, Italy and Spain do not seek asylum in those countries but travel across Europe and end up in Calais, trying in ever increasing numbers to cross the Channel? What on earth makes them think that English streets are paved with gold? That´s what they think(pictured), because that is what they say to journalists when questioned in the camps on the French side of the Channel. Many men have managed to hide themselves inside and underneath lorries, risking their lives to get onto the ferries.

But now there are increasing numbers of wives and girlfriends, many with babies and small children,

and single females arriving on the coast too, many paying big sums of money to make the journey to join their partners already in the UK, legally or illegally. So why do they think England is El Dorado? Obviously it´s infinitely better than where they come from, but no bet-

it has been spent elsewhere, the NHS in Wales is in an appalling mess.

People have had to wait so long for operations they have opted to move over the border to England.

There are cases of very seriously ill patients being left in ambulances at the

ter and arguably not as good as say Germany, France, or other northern European countries.

Perhaps they are inflicted with the same delusions as the European Commission bureaucrats who think that Britain can afford to hand over an extra £1.7bn of our hard-earned cash. Could it be that the immigrants and EU think Brits are just a soft touch?

REGIONAL government in Britain is showing just how much damage nationalism and socialism is doing - highlighted in a series of articles in the British press over the last week or so.

Welsh Labour politicians have expressed fury over the stories, but they can´t escape the simple fact that the country just cannot afford the cradle to grave type of Socialism that they want. The welfare state was not intended to be used in that way, but over the years it has swallowed up more and more money, and the result is that there´s not enough cash to go around.

Starved of money, because

doors of hospitals for hours on end because there are simply no more beds available for them, all are full.

Schools have suffered too, with Welsh children not performing as well as children in England. Sorry Welsh Labour politicians: - that´s no way to run a country. I would love to know how much Welsh money has been spent trying to teach schoolchildren the Welsh language, and also changing all road signs so they are in dual languages money which should have been spent on far more important things than fostering nationalism.

As an Englander, when I listen to news programmes and hear news readers talk about "the country" I immediately think they are talking about Britain. People living in England do not think of England as a country. But in Wales, listeners think of "the country" as Wales and the same principle is true in Scotland too. Can´t the Welsh and Scots be proud of being British? Can´t they see that regional national-

ism is so wasteful of money, time and effort?

WHAT is the matter with crazy teenagers and 20somethings, so many of whom don´t seem to have the sense they were born with. Two stories I read demonstrate my point. The first concerns a super-stud in Romania, aged 24, who has had sex with countless local girls, who seem to have lined up for him. Many of his conquests turned up for his funeral - but there were angry scenes when it was revealed he had died of AIDS. The sexhungry girls then turned to the STD clinic to find out whether they too had HIV. Despite all the warnings down the years, young people still take the risk of unprotected sex. Why do young people think that they are immortal and that anything bad happens to someone else? There´s an interesting twist to this story. Apparently the doctor who diagnosed the young man´s illness was threatened with a lawsuit from the boy´s mother if he divulged the information to any of the "victims" he was having sex with. So he kept quiet.

Lovely world we´re living in!

The second example of craziness among young people concerns a couple of newlyweds found dead on their honeymoon in India. The couple, aged 27 and 24, were both teachers with first-class degrees, so obviously were highly intelligent. So why were these clever people found dead in a hotel room surrounded by sleeping pills, anti-depressants and empty bottles of cough syrup?

Twitter messages suggested his casual attitude to drugs and how easy it was to obtain them in India.

Posts included: "Codeine under the counter here.

With Valium, Xanax and Lyrica. Winning," Earlier he said: "One prescription in India (after you have told the doctor what to write) will take you faaaaaar..." In another post he said: "I am absolutely off my face on drugs." The craziness of youth. In Romania youngsters killed through sex, in India, newlyweds killed by drugs. When will they ever learn?

ONCE again Britain is top of the league table in Europe. In the past it´s been teenage pregnancies, under-age sex and young people´s alcohol consumption which has hit the European charts. Now it´s revealed that pensioners are more likely to die of the flu or pneumonia in Britain than anywhere else in Europe. Official figures show that more than 80 Britons die from the diseases every day – 70 per cent higher than the European average. Overall, some 138 people in every 100,000 in the UK die from ‘respiratory diseases’ – including influenza, pneumonia, bronchitis and asthma – every three years.

This works out at 88,000 people – or 29,000 a year.

The EU says poor public health campaigns warning the elderly to get vaccinated against flu was to blame for countries suffering high death rates. Oh come on!

UK surgeries are packed with pensioners getting their jabs and there are very few of them who don´t know of their importance. It´s more likely that overcrowded Britain has something to do with it, people living in more densely populated areas allowing the bugs to spread more rapidly. That and the cold, damp weather...thank goodness for Spain!

Friday, October 31, 2014

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Friday, October 31, 2014

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SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 146

This week I’m concentrating on October 31st as we celebrate Halloween. It is believed to be a pagan holiday which has been enjoyed for many years in the UK, but here in Spain it is a relatively new celebration. The tradition of ´trick or treat´ is fresh here and last year was the first I noticed a fiesta for children around Halloween and had little visitors dressed in a variety of dark and mysterious costumes looking for sweet treats. So this week we are going to learn a few words associated with this time of year and the festivities and this Friday night be sure to have muchos caramelos.

The Spanish use the same name ´halloween´ although trick or treat is ´truco o trato´ remember the pronunciation although the words look similar to English there is a difference in how they are said.

As mentioned, sweets are caramelos, although they are also called chuches (pronounced chooches), o dulces.

A pumpkin in Spanish is calabaza, and the Spanish have got used to carving them the same ways that we do in the UK. Should you venture out during the night of Halloween be careful and look out for: las brujas, los murciélagos, calaveras, arañas, zombies y fantasmas.

With regards to food the Spanish tend to always use seasonal vegetables and so of course pumpkin plays a big part of a Halloween meal, as they are also huge fans of parties they do tend to enjoy making scary meals in the style of the festivities. It seems that the Spanish are really beginning to enjoy this fiesta, and as the weather here is better than in

the UK at this time of year there is no excuse not to get

dressed up and get out. Look for local parties where you can mingle with the Spanish and enjoy the party. Children, after all, are all the same wherever they come from.

I remember a few years ago getting dressed up with friends and going into town, finding it deserted and us the only ones having made the effort, this was a big difference to last year when there was a big party around the corner

from me with the children all ´en disfraz´ enjoying the fun and music that had been organised.

Hopefully this year will be the same and when I finish work I can take my little fella to the party.

Así se disfruta las fiestas de Halloween con los españoles, si usted vive en una ciudad llena de extranjeros y sale para encontrar un área de españoles, veras que se mezclan con la gente, los españoles saben cómo divertirse.

Espero que tengáis una buena noche llena de diversión y buenos momentos, y no olvidéis tener caramelos o tortas para los visitantes disfrazados pidiendo cosas ricas.

The day after Halloween, November 1st is a holiday here in Spain, as it is the Saints Day or ´el día de todos los santos´ when families visit their deceased relatives in the cemeteries, be aware if you are travelling through a town near a graveyard that there will be more cars than usual. During this day relatives gather and sit by the tomb of their loved one quietly, maybe passing time chatting with neighbouring visitors. It has no connection with Halloween although the time of year when it occurs can be seen as a bit spooky!

Have a great Halloween and enjoy bonfire night if you chose to go to a celebration, of course this is one day that will not make its way into Spanish tradition as it is a part of British life and doesn´t involve other countries, but there are ways of celebrating here by finding a British area or company that is going to have a bonfire and fireworks.

Que tengáis un buen día y ¡Feliz Halloween!

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Friday, October 31, 2014

Your FREE TV Guide & Puzzle Pull Out

answers in next weeks edition

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6.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

CAN YOU NAME THESE SPORTS STARS?

Last Weeks Answers: 1) Playschool 2) Blue Peter 3) Andy Pandy 4) Magpie 5) Banana Splits 6) Teletubbies 7) Rainbow 8) Thomas the Tank Engine 9) Bob the Builder 10) Four Feather Falls 11) Fireball XL 5 12) Rosie and Jim 13) Stingray 14) Fireman Sam 15) Thunderbirds

TRELI ON THE TELLY THE BEST OF BRITISH

with ALEX TRELINSKI John Simm and James Nesbitt are TV actors that these days normally guarantee a quality bit of British drama, though I will forget Nesbitt’s role a couple of years ago in a rubbish Arctic submarine drama for the Beeb, and Simm playing a set-up copper in Prey on ITV this year.

Both guys have done so much great work over the years that we can brush aside a lapse of judgement, and both have picked well in their latest projects. You can just read Nesbitt’s anguish all

over his face in The Missing on BBC1 where his five year old son has disappeared from a French bar. It’s top stuff, whilst Simm has donned a very good American accent for a BBC funded drama called Intruders, with his wife (played

by Mira Sorvino and pictured together) also doing a disappearing act in the first episode on BBC 2. We really are flat out with good stuff from both sides of the Atlantic at the moment, and so it should be at this time of the year! five series mix of prohibition It’s farewell in the next few days to two great mob shows, one of which is ending for good. Boardwalk Empire, airing on Sky Atlantic, has been a brilliant

era gangsters, and some great fascinating characters.

I’ve no idea how it finishes, having avoided spoilers from the States, but since the final series has been short on any

h a p p y endings, I d o n ’ t expect to see any change in the last outing, especially for the central character of Nucky Thompson played by S t e v e Buscemi.

It’s been a great ride and I’ve enjoyed this run featuring a lot of early backstory, which has been a treat for fans that have followed the series from day one. One thing that Boardwalk has in common with the BBC’s

Peaky Blinders is some of the foulest language and graphic violence around, but they are very different animals, despite some people trying to brand it as the UK‘s answer to Boardwalk. I can’t believe that we are hitting the final episode on Thursday of series two, which I think has been even better than what we saw last year. The extra nugget has been a wonderful set of cameos from Tom Hardy as a London-based Jewish mob boss uttering what seemed to be an endless stream of profanity that had me in stitches. Roll on series three unless some idiot pulls it for only getting around one and a half million viewers on a BBC2 Thursday night.

There’s something about the Yanks that they just know how to make an entertaining hour of drama that is easy on

the eye and doesn’t require a great deal of concentration.

Hawaii Five-0 and NCIS: Los Angeles, which have both returned to Sky One, will never win any awards for the scripts or the casts but they both tick many boxes for some rip-roaring fun and good thrills.

Superheroes and their bosses have gone into overdrive in the last week with the return of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to Channel Four; the excellent Arrow on Sky One; plus also on the same channel, an enjoyable Arrow spin-off, The Flash.

S.H.I.E.L.D. is much improved on the last run based on the first episode, and it was great to see the Agent Carter cross-over from Captain America…and guess what? An Agent Carter series is coming in a few months time.

20

Friday, October 31, 2014

FRIDAY

31st OCTOBER

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Citizen Khan 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Not Going Out 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Afghanistan: The Lion's Last Roar?

01:20 This World 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Call the Council 08:50 Close Calls: On Camera 09:20 A Taste of Britain 10:05 The £100K House: Tricks of the Trade 11:05 Sea City 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:30 Ready Steady Cook 15:15 The Rockford Files 16:00 Cagney & Lacey 16:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 17:50 Great British Railway Journeys 18:20 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two 20:00 Mastermind 20:30 Autumnwatch Unsprung 21:00 Autumnwatch 2014 22:00 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 22:30 Gardeners' World 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 Wilderness Walks with Ray Mears 00:45 River Monsters 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Secrets from the Sky 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Job Lot

00:20 The Sex Clinic 01:15 Embarrassing Bodies 02:15 One Born Every Minute 03:10 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 03:35 Dispatches 04:05 Unreported World 04:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:30 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 05:40 Location, Location, Location 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:35 Unreported World 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Rome: The World's First Superpower 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Underground Britain 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Oliver's Ghost 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 World War II in Colour 21:00 Rome: The World's First Superpower 22:00 Alex Polizzi's Secret Italy 23:00 Body of Proof 23:55 NCIS: Los Angeles

00:35 Family Guy 01:00 Family Guy 01:20 Family Guy 01:45 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 02:45 EastEnders 03:15 Life Is Toff 03:45 Comedy Feeds 04:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 05:00 Close 20:00 Hotel of Mum and Dad 21:00 Traffic Cops 22:00 Reggie Yates: Extreme South Africa 23:00 Bad Education 23:30 EastEnders

00:30 Jet! When Britain Ruled the Skies 01:30 Top of the Pops: 1979 02:10 Sounds of the Eighties 02:40 Detectorists 03:10 World War One at Home 03:40 Tubular Bells: The Mike Oldfield Story 04:40 Pop Go the Sixties 04:55 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Concerto at the BBC Proms 21:00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century 22:00 Classic Albums 23:00 Goth at the BBC

00:15 Dapper Laughs: On the Pull 00:45 Tricked 01:45 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:40 Scorpion 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Emmerdale 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Winners & Losers 11:15 Up All Night 11:45 Up All Night 12:10 Royal Pains 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Emmerdale 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:05 You've Been Framed!

19:00 Royal Pains 20:00 Casper 22:00 Educating Joey Essex: Reem Halloween 23:00 Release the Hounds

00:00 The Vice

01:30 The Professionals 02:30 Minder 03:30 Highway Patrol 03:55 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Matches 07:10 Cheers 07:35 Cheers 08:00 Minder 08:50 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:25 Pawn Stars 12:55 Minder 13:55 The Professionals 15:00 Cheers 15:30 Cheers 16:00 Pawn Stars 16:25 Pawn Stars 16:55 Kojak 18:00 Magnum, PI 19:00 Minder 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Mercury Rising

DON’T MISS

Citizen Kahn BBC1 - 21:30

1/6. Return of the sitcom about a British Pakistani family in Sparkhill, Birmingham, whose father sees himself as a pillar of the community even if nobody else does. Mr Khan is lumbered with looking after his mother-in-law, until a miracle happens - she announces she wants to move into a home. The head of a local care centre arrives, plans are made and Khan is over the moon - until he realises his elderly relative is worth quite a bit of money. Can he stop her leaving after all? Adil Ray, Shobu Kapoor and Maya Sondhi star, with a guest appearance from Sally Lindsay.

01:15 Parenthood 03:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Wild at Heart 09:25 Wycliffe 10:35 Judge Judy 11:00 Judge Judy 11:30 Judge Judy 11:55 Inspector Morse 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:05 Wycliffe 17:20 Second Thoughts 17:55 Fresh Fields 18:25 On the Buses 19:00 Heartbeat 20:00 Judge Judy 20:30 Judge Judy 21:00 Wycliffe 22:00 Love Your Garden 23:00 Blue Murder

Friday, October 31, 2014

SATURDAY

21

1st

NOVEMBER 00:20 The Secrets 00:50 EastEnders 02:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Homes Under the Hammer 16:00 Escape to the Country 17:00 Final Score 18:25 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 21:15 Doctor Who 22:00 Casualty 22:50 The National Lottery Live 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 National Lottery Update 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 Family Guy 01:05 Family Guy 01:30 Some Girls 02:00 Some Girls 02:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:00 Bad Education 03:30 Life Is Toff 04:00 The Revolution Will Be Televised 04:30 Comedy Feeds 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Sherlock 23:30 Live at the Apollo

DON’T MISS

00:00 Weather 00:05 Later - with Jools Holland 01:05 Witchfinder General 02:30 The Devil's Backbone 04:10 Question Time 05:10 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Sons of the Musketeers 08:30 The Quick Gun 10:00 The Private Life of Plants 10:50 The Private Life of Plants 12:30 Map Man 13:00 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 13:30 Puttin' on the Ritz: The Genius of Fred Astaire 13:45 That's Entertainment, Part II 15:45 Show Boat 17:30 The Great Interior Design Challenge 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Gardeners' World 20:00 Restoring England's Heritage 20:30 The Greatest Knight: William the Marshal 21:30 Dad's Army 22:00 Frankenstein and the Vampyre - A Dark and Stormy Night 23:00 Formula 1

00:10 Paranormal Activity 01:45 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat & Stan 07:35 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:10 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 The Munch Box 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:24 ITV Meridian Weather 12:25 Storage Hoarders 13:25 Surprise Surprise 14:25 The Unforgettable 15:00 Doc Martin 16:00 Keep It in the Family 17:00 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 New You've Been Framed!

20:00 The Chase 21:00 The X Factor 23:00 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:05 Scrotal Recall

22:00 Red

00:55 Poltergeist 02:50 SuperCasino 04:10 Criminals: Caught on Camera 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 07:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:35 Seaside Antics 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:40 Zack and Quack 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Access 11:50 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 12:50 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 13:50 Alex Polizzi's Secret Italy 14:50 A Christmas Visitor 16:35 A Carol Christmas 18:15 The Town Christmas Forgot 20:00 5 News Weekend 20:05 The Missing Evidence 21:05 World War II in Colour 22:00 Gotham 23:00 The New Daughter

00:00 Brothers in Arms

00:00 Celebrity Juice

00:05 The Vice

00:20 The Howling

01:00 Alice Cooper - Brutally

00:50 House of Wax

01:15 Interview with the

02:10 River Monsters

Live

03:00 Dapper Laughs: On the

Vampire

03:15 Cheers

02:30 Classic Albums 03:25 Goth at the BBC 04:25 Sounds of the Eighties

Pull 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

00:40 Mercury Prize Awards Show 01:50 Changing Lanes 03:35 Boss 04:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:30 River Cottage Bites 05:45 Location, Location, Location 06:40 NFL: Rush Zone 07:05 Marathon 08:00 Cycling: Revolution Series 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:55 The Simpsons 13:30 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:05 Speed with Guy Martin 21:00 Walking Through History

03:25 World Kitchen 03:50 World Kitchen 04:10 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:40 Movies Now 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Movies Now

04:40 Emmerdale

07:05 Cheers

07:00 World Kitchen

07:35 Cheers

07:10 You've Been Framed!

07:25 Columbo: Lovely but

08:05 Cheers

21:00 Maps: Power, Plunder

07:35 Emmerdale

Lethal

08:35 Cheers

and Possession

10:15 Coronation Street

08:50 The Royal

09:05 Motorsport UK

22:00 Inspector Montalbano

12:45 I'm a Celebrity Get Me

09:55 The Royal

23:35 Country at the BBC

Out of Here Now!

10:55 The Darling Buds of

04:55 Close 20:00 Land of the Lost Wolves

The Greatest Knight: William the Marshal BBC2 - 20:30

07:00 The Hot Desk

13:45 You've Been Framed!

14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 Honey

Thomas Asbridge examines the life and times of William Marshal, an 16:45 The Little Vampire English soldier and statesman who served four kings of England in the 18:40 Casper 12th and 13th centuries. The historian reveals how Marshal fought in battles across Europe, survived court intrigue and exile, put his seal to

20:35 Back to the Future Part

10:05 Bundesliga Football Highlights 11:10 UEFA Champions

May

League Weekly

12:05 The Darling Buds of

11:40 The Professionals

May

12:45 World Rally

13:10 Wycliffe

Championship Highlights

14:20 A Touch of Frost

13:45 Darts: The Masters Live

16:35 Inspector Morse 18:55 Endeavour

18:00 Storage Wars 18:25 Storage Wars 19:00 Storage Wars

the Magna Carta and remained loyal to those he served through disas- III

21:00 Doc Martin

19:25 Storage Wars

ter and victory.

22:00 Midsomer Murders

20:00 Darts: The Masters Live

23:00 The Xtra Factor

22

Friday, October 31, 2014

SUNDAY

2nd NOVEMBER

00:45 The Football League Show 02:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 15:45 Lost Treasures of the Sikh Kingdom 16:15 Escape to the Country 17:00 Points of View 17:15 Songs of Praise 17:50 Life Story 18:50 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:20 Countryfile 20:20 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:30 Formula 1

00:15 QI XL

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 Family Guy 01:10 Family Guy 01:30 Family Guy 01:55 Family Guy 02:15 Family Guy 02:40 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:10 Bad Education 03:40 Bad Education 04:10 Bad Education 04:40 Comedy Feeds 05:00 Close 20:00 World's Craziest Fools 20:30 Doctor Who 21:15 Shanghai Noon 23:00 Family Guy 23:25 Family Guy 23:45 Life Is Toff

01:05 Land of the Lost Wolves 02:05 Sounds of the Eighties 02:35 Top of the Pops: 1979 03:05 Classic Albums 03:55 Maps: Power, Plunder and Possession 04:55 Close 20:00 Timeshift 21:00 The Samuel Johnson Prize for Non-Fiction 21:30 The Secret Life of Books 22:00 Storyville 23:25 Come as You Are

DON’T MISS

01:00 TOTP2 02:00 Silkwood 04:05 This Is BBC Two 05:30 Live International Rugby League 08:30 Countryfile 09:30 Gardeners' World 10:00 The Football League Show 11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:50 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:20 Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure 14:20 Waterloo 16:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 17:00 Inside the Animal Mind 18:00 International Rugby League 19:00 Britain's Classroom Heroes 2014 20:00 Human Universe 21:00 Wonders of the Monsoon 22:00 Afghanistan: The Lion's Last Roar?

23:00 Match of the Day 2

My Tasty Treats with Lynda Bellingham ITV - 18:30

00:05 ITV News and Weather 00:19 ITV Meridian Weather 00:20 Bloody Sunday 02:20 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat & Stan 07:35 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Ultimate Spider-Man 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 Big Time Rush 10:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:39 ITV Meridian Weather 12:40 Carry On Jack 14:30 All Star Family Fortunes 15:30 The X Factor 17:30 Downton Abbey 18:30 My Tasty Travels with Lynda Bellingham 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 20:00 Keep It in the Family 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 Downton Abbey 23:05 ITV News and Weather 23:25 Harry's South Pole Heroes

00:10 Babylon AD

00:00 Celebrity Juice

00:00 Bomb Girls

00:00 Death Race

00:45 The Job Lot

01:00 A Touch of Frost

02:10 River Monsters: Untold

01:15 The X Factor

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:15 Fake Reaction

03:30 Teleshopping

03:50 Teleshopping

07:00 A Touch of Frost

03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

08:55 The Secret of My

04:00 Teleshopping

07:00 Emmerdale

Success

09:40 Coronation Street

11:00 Heartbeat

12:10 The X Factor

12:05 Heartbeat

07:40 Cheers

14:05 The Xtra Factor

13:05 Inspector Morse

08:10 Cheers

15:10 The Hot Desk

15:25 Wycliffe

08:40 Cheers

15:20 You've Been Framed!

16:30 Columbo: Double

16:20 You've Been Framed!

Exposure

10:40 Minder

16:50 Valiant

18:05 Lewis

11:45 The Professionals

20:00 Foyle's War

12:45 Ax Men

02:50 Hollyoaks 04:55 Location, Location, Location 05:50 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 06:45 NFL: The American Football Show 07:40 How I Met Your Mother 08:05 How I Met Your Mother 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Simpsons 14:00 The Simpsons 17:50 The Simpsons Movie 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:00 Secret History 21:00 Speed with Guy Martin 22:00 Homeland 23:00 Shame

UK in her trusty camper van, sampling ingredients, hunting down long- Jurassic Park

ing contest, before visiting a vineyard and a pottery.

03:40 Movies Now

07:00 World of Sport: TV Firsts

22:00 It'll Be Alright on the

07:15 Cheers

09:10 Cheers 09:40 Border Security USA

13:45 Darts: The Masters Live 17:55 BRDC Formula 4

21:00 Scorpion

Night

22:00 The Xtra Factor

23:00 Agatha Christie's

18:55 Sports Life Stories

23:05 Tricked

Marple

20:00 Darts: The Masters Live

begins her journey with a trip to the heart of Surrey, where she goes head to head with the local Women's Institute in a Victoria sponge-bak-

Stories 03:15 Cheers

1/20. The late actress embarks on a culinary adventure across the 18:25 The Lost World: lost recipes and taking part in a variety of village fairs and fetes. She

01:55 Rude Tube

01:05 SuperCasino 04:10 The True Story 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:35 Seaside Antics 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:40 Zack and Quack 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Chinese Food in Minutes 11:50 Police Interceptors 14:50 The Ghost of Greville Lodge 16:35 The Canterville Ghost 18:25 The Witches 20:10 5 News Weekend 20:15 Beetle Juice 22:00 The Cabin in the Woods 23:50 Piranha

Championship Highlights

23

Friday, October 31, 2014

MONDAY

3rd NOVEMBER

01:00 The Apprentice 02:00 Girl from Rio 03:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The People Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The Passing Bells 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Gareth's All Star Choir 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:05 Russell Howard's Good News 00:35 The Fall 01:35 The Fall 02:35 Countryfile 03:30 Holby City 04:30 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Call the Council 08:45 Close Calls: On Camera 09:15 A Taste of Britain 10:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 11:00 Lorraine Pascale: How to Be a Better Cook 11:30 WWI - Beyond the Trenches 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Restoration Roadshow 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Rockford Files 16:00 Cagney & Lacey 16:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 17:50 Great British Railway Journeys 18:20 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two 20:00 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 20:30 Children's Hospital: The Chaplains 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 Intruders 22:45 Some People with Jokes 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

00:25 LV= Cup Rugby Union 01:15 The Store 03:20 Motorsport UK 04:10 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Grantchester 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Agenda

00:55 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:50 The Simpsons 02:20 American Football Live 05:45 NFL: Rush Zone 06:10 Win It Cook It 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Sarah Beeny's How to Sell Your Home 22:00 Make Leicester British 23:35 Toast of London

01:30 Campus PD 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 The Gadget Show 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The Good Witch's Family 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 The Missing Evidence 22:00 Gotham 23:00 Under the Dome 23:55 Once upon a Time in Mexico

00:15 American Dad! 00:40 American Dad! 01:00 Drive 02:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:00 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:30 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 04:30 Life Is Toff 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Junior Paramedics 22:00 Hotel of Mum and Dad 23:00 Live at the Apollo 23:30 EastEnders

01:10 Classic Albums

00:05 The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:20 Dads 02:45 Dads 03:10 Two and a Half Men 03:30 Two and a Half Men 03:50 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Winners & Losers 11:15 The Chase 12:10 Royal Pains 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:05 You've Been Framed!

18:30 You've Been Framed!

19:00 Royal Pains 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Tricked 23:00 Plebs 23:30 Dapper Laughs: On the Pull

01:05 02:05 03:00 03:25 03:45 04:05 04:40 07:00 07:25 08:25 09:25 10:35 11:00 11:30 11:55 14:00 15:05 16:05 17:20 17:55 18:25 19:00 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00

00:00 Driven

DON’T MISS

02:05 Goth at the BBC 03:05 John Denver at Wembley Arena 03:50 Timeshift 04:45 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Timeshift 22:00 The Art of Gothic: Britain's Midnight Hour 23:00 The Mummy

Make Leicester British Channel 4 - 22:00

This follow-up documentary to Make Bradford British is filmed in one of the nation's most ethnically diverse cities. It brings together eight Leicester residents, four of them British citizens from various backgrounds and ethnicities, plus three recent migrants from Central and Eastern Europe and one from Somalia. They spend time together to explore their feelings about immigration and what being British means to them.

William and Mary William and Mary Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy ITV3 Nightscreen Emmerdale The Upper Hand Heartbeat Wild at Heart Wycliffe Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Inspector Morse Heartbeat Wild at Heart Wycliffe Second Thoughts Fresh Fields George and Mildred Heartbeat Judge Judy Judge Judy Wycliffe The Secret Life Of Collision

02:20 Highway Patrol 02:50 Jean-Claude Van Damme: Behind Closed Doors 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Cheers 07:25 Cheers 08:00 Minder 09:00 The Professionals 10:00 Kojak 11:00 Magnum, PI 12:05 Minder 13:10 Tommy Cooper 13:45 Live Snooker 18:15 Cheers 18:45 LV= Cup Rugby Union 19:45 Live Snooker

24

Friday, October 31, 2014

TUESDAY

4th NOVEMBER

00:20 Citizen Khan 00:50 The Graham Norton Show 01:35 Soul Men 03:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The People Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The Passing Bells 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Missing 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine

00:10 Weather 00:15 Trust Me, I'm a Doctor 01:15 The Apprentice 02:15 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools - Beneath the Lab Coat: 1 06:00 Schools - You Too Can Be an Absolute Genius 06:30 Schools - Little Stargazing 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Call the Council 08:45 Close Calls: On Camera 09:15 A Taste of Britain 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Building Dream Homes 11:30 WWI - Beyond the Trenches 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Restoration Roadshow 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Rockford Files 16:00 Cagney & Lacey 16:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 17:50 Great British Railway Journeys 18:20 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Human Universe 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 American Dad! 01:30 Hotel of Mum and Dad 02:30 People Like Us 03:30 Live at the Apollo 04:00 Hotel of Mum and Dad 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Free Speech 22:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 23:00 Life Is Toff 23:30 The Revolution Will Be Televised

00:25 Detectorists 00:55 Architects of the Divine: The First Gothic Age 01:55 David Bowie and the Story of Ziggy Stardust 02:55 The Genius of David Bowie 03:55 The Art of Gothic: Britain's Midnight Hour 04:55 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Great British Railway Journeys 21:30 National Treasures of Wales 22:00 Doris Day: Virgin Territory 23:00 The Life and Loves of a She Devil

DON’T MISS

Live UEFA Champions League ITV - 20:30

Real Madrid v Liverpool (Kick-off 7.45pm). All the action from the Bernabeu, where matchday four continues with this Group B fixture. This is the second meeting between the clubs in the space of a fortnight, and the odds are stacked against the Reds here given they suffered a 3-0 defeat at Anfield, with Cristiano Ronaldo opening the scoring and Karim Benzema adding two more before half time. However, Liverpool did defeat Real 1-0 on their only previous visit to this ground in 2009. Presented by Adrian Chiles, with commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend, and analysis by Paul Scholes and Lee Dixon.

00:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 01:25 Jackpot247 04:00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 UEFA Champions League Highlights

00:00 Viral Tap 00:45 The Job Lot 01:20 Two and a Half Men 01:45 Two and a Half Men 02:05 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Two and a Half Men 02:50 Dads 03:15 The Hot Desk 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Winners & Losers 11:15 The Chase 12:10 Royal Pains 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:05 You've Been Framed!

18:30 You've Been Framed!

19:00 Royal Pains 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Vampire Diaries 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:45 The 40 Year Old Virgin

00:05 The IT Crowd 00:40 NFL: The American Football Show 01:35 The Secret Millionaire USA 02:25 Kaksparsh 04:55 Location, Location, Location 05:50 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:05 Win It Cook It 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 22:00 You Can't Get the Staff 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Gogglebox

01:50 Campus PD 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Revealed 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Rome: The World's First Superpower 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Garage Sale Mystery 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 21:00 Crimes That Shook Britain 22:00 Miracle Babies 23:00 NCIS

00:00 The Vice

00:15 Bundesliga Football

01:05 Inspector Morse

Highlights

02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping

01:15 LV= Cup Rugby Union

07:00 The Upper Hand

02:15 Motorsport UK

07:25 Heartbeat

03:20 Cheers

08:20 Wild at Heart

03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

09:25 Wycliffe

04:00 Teleshopping

10:35 Judge Judy 11:00 Judge Judy

07:00 Cheers

11:30 Judge Judy

07:25 Cheers

11:55 Inspector Morse

08:00 Minder

14:00 Heartbeat

09:00 The Professionals

15:05 Wild at Heart 16:05 Wycliffe 17:20 Second Thoughts

10:00 Kojak 11:05 Magnum, PI

17:50 Fresh Fields

12:05 Minder

18:25 George and Mildred

13:10 Tommy Cooper

19:00 Heartbeat

13:45 Live Snooker

20:00 Judge Judy 20:30 Judge Judy

18:10 Cheers

21:00 Midsomer Murders

18:40 Kojak

23:00 Collision

19:45 Live Snooker

Friday, October 31, 2014

WEDNESDAY

25

5th NOVEMBER

00:40 In the Valley of Elah 02:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The People Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The Passing Bells 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 The One Show 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 England: What Next?

00:10 Weather 00:15 Wonders of the Monsoon 01:15 Operation Stonehenge: What Lies Beneath 02:15 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Making Art Work: First Idea to Final Piece 06:00 Schools: Your Paintings 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Call the Council 08:45 Close Calls: On Camera 09:15 A Taste of Britain 10:00 Sacred Rivers with Simon Reeve 11:00 Building Dream Homes 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Restoration Roadshow 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Rockford Files 16:00 Cagney & Lacey 16:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 17:50 Great British Railway Journeys 18:20 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 The Cube

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 American Dad! 01:30 Life Is Toff 02:00 The Revolution Will Be Televised 02:30 EastEnders 03:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 04:00 Free Speech 05:00 Close 20:00 Snog, Marry, Avoid?

20:30 Snog, Marry, Avoid?

21:00 Hotel of Mum and Dad 22:00 People Like Us 23:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

00:00 Supernatural 00:50 Spider House 02:20 National Treasures of Wales 02:50 Doris Day: Virgin Territory 03:50 Beautiful Thing: A Passion for Porcelain 04:50 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Horizon 22:00 Secrets of the Universe: Great Scientists in Their Own Words 23:00 What Do Artists Do All Day? 23:30 Big in America: British Hits in the USA

02:05 Two and a Half Men 02:30 The Vampire Diaries 03:15 The Hot Desk 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 You've Been Framed!

08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 14:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:05 You've Been Framed!

18:30 You've Been Framed!

19:00 Royal Pains 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Freshers 23:00 Plebs 23:30 Happy Gilmore

DON’T MISS

Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun Five - 21:00

1/8. New series. The return of the documentary following life in the British Overseas Territory, which sits at the entrance to the Mediterranean. The first edition features the final of the Miss Gibraltar competition, with the eight contestants being put through their paces in three rounds as they model swimwear and evening wear before talking about their chosen charities. Dr Eric Shaw and his team are called out to a museum where a huge swarm of bees in the roof has brought renovation work to a halt, while inmate Dylan Alvez describes life inside Windmill Hill prison.

01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Surprise Surprise 22:00 Broadmoor 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Through the Keyhole

00:50 Poker 01:50 Trans World Sport 02:45 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:10 Cycling: Revolution Series 04:05 Marathon 05:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:55 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 06:05 Win It Cook It 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Supervet 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Grayson Perry: Who Are You?

00:55 NCIS 01:45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Underground Britain 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Alex Polizzi's Secret Italy 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Dangerous Attraction 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 22:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 23:00 Wentworth Prison

00:00 The Vice

00:15 A Dangerous Man

01:10 Inspector Morse

02:15 BRDC Formula 4

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping

Championship Highlights

07:00 The Upper Hand

03:20 Cheers

07:25 Heartbeat

03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen

08:20 Wild at Heart 09:25 Wycliffe

04:00 Teleshopping

10:35 Judge Judy

07:00 Cheers

11:00 Judge Judy

07:25 Cheers

11:25 Judge Judy

08:00 Minder

11:55 Inspector Morse 14:00 Heartbeat

09:00 The Professionals

15:05 Wild at Heart

10:00 Kojak

16:05 Wycliffe

11:05 Magnum, PI

17:25 Second Thoughts 17:55 Fresh Fields

12:05 Minder

18:25 George and Mildred

13:10 Tommy Cooper

19:00 Heartbeat

13:45 Live Snooker

20:00 Judge Judy

18:10 Cheers

20:30 Judge Judy 21:00 A Touch of Frost 23:00 Collision

18:40 Kojak 19:45 Live Snooker

26

Friday, October 31, 2014

THURSDAY

6th NOVEMBER

00:15 Film 2014 00:45 Away from Her 02:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The People Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The Passing Bells 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Life Story 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:10 Weather 00:15 Gunpowder 5/11: The Greatest Terror Plot 01:15 Intruders 01:55 See Hear 02:25 The Kitchen 03:25 Doctor Who 04:15 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools: Ten Pieces 05:48 Performances from the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra 05:52 Victorian Villains 06:20 Ancient Egypt: Life and Death in the Valley of the Kings 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Call the Council 08:45 Close Calls: On Camera 09:15 A Taste of Britain 10:00 Human Universe 11:00 Gardeners' World 11:30 WWI - Beyond the Trenches 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Restoration Roadshow 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Rockford Files 16:00 Cagney & Lacey 16:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 17:50 Great British Railway Journeys 18:20 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Peaky Blinders 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 The Unforgettable 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 22:00 The Great Fire 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Chase

00:00 24 Hours in A&E 01:00 Music Nation 01:30 Rude Tube 02:25 Ha Bharat Maza 04:35 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:30 River Cottage Bites 05:40 Location, Location, Location 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Scrotal Recall 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:00 Inside Holloway 01:00 Dallas 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Badge of Betrayal 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Underground Britain 22:00 Undercover Benefits Cheat 23:00 When Fred Met Rose

00:00 Family Guy

00:30 The Making of Elton John: Madman Across the Water 01:30 Otis Redding: Soul Ambassador 02:30 Britain on Film 03:00 The Secret Life of Books 03:30 What Do Artists Do All Day? 04:00 Secrets of the Universe: Great Scientists in Their Own Words 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Top of the Pops: 1979 21:00 Horizon 22:00 Pompeii: Life and Death in a Roman Town 23:00 Detectorists 23:30 The Art of Gothic: Britain's Midnight Hour

01:25 Two and a Half Men 01:50 Two and a Half Men 02:15 Two and a Half Men 02:40 Two and a Half Men 03:00 Dads 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:05 You've Been Framed!

18:35 You've Been Framed!

19:05 Royal Pains 20:10 Jurassic Park III 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Plebs

00:00 The Vice

00:10 Mercury Rising

01:10 Inspector Morse

02:25 Minder

00:50 American Dad! 01:10 American Dad! 01:30 People Like Us 02:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:00 Hotel of Mum and Dad 04:00 People Like Us 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Gavin & Stacey 21:30 Gavin & Stacey 22:00 Sherlock 23:30 EastEnders

DON’T MISS

Undercover Benefits Cheat Five- 22:00

Reporter Paul Connolly poses as a criminal on benefits to investigate how people lie, steal and live outside the law, before exposing the scammers on camera. His investigation begins in Sheffield, where he meets shoplifters who steal to order from high-street stores, a man who winds back his electricity meter to con power companies and someone who hooks him up with satellite television at a fraction of the normal price. Paul then goes after a man offering fake college certificates to help individuals cheat the immigration system and tracks down the conmen behind an operation to print fake money.

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand

03:30 Cheers 04:00 Teleshopping

07:25 Heartbeat

07:00 Cheers

08:20 Wild at Heart

07:25 Cheers

09:25 Wycliffe

07:50 Minder

10:35 Judge Judy 11:00 Judge Judy 11:30 Judge Judy

08:50 The Professionals 09:50 Kojak

12:00 Inspector Morse

10:55 Magnum, PI

14:00 Heartbeat

11:55 Border Security USA

15:05 Wild at Heart

12:55 Minder

16:05 Wycliffe

13:55 The Professionals

17:25 Second Thoughts 17:55 Fresh Fields 18:25 George and Mildred

15:00 Cheers 15:30 Cheers

19:00 Heartbeat

16:00 Border Security USA

20:00 Judge Judy

16:55 Kojak

20:30 Judge Judy

18:00 Tommy Cooper

21:00 Wycliffe 22:00 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey 23:00 Collision

18:30 UEFA Europa League Live 23:30 Born to Raise Hell

Friday, October 31, 2014

27

28

Friday, October 31 2014

CODE CRACKER

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD

Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week's puzzle, 17 represents D and 9 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

QUICKIE

In this week’s Quickie crossword, all the answers are ANAGRAMS of the clue words: Across 1 Nibbles (5) 4 Puts on the market (5) 7 Accuracy (9) 8 Ill (4) 10 Happen (5) 12 Have a loan of (6) 13 Limbs (4) 16 Consciousness (9) 18 Dispatches (5) 19 Perhaps (5)

Down 1 Farm buildings (5) 2 Pinnacle (3) 3 Look for (4) 4 Swap (6) 5 Free time (7) 6 Transmit (4) 9 Sure (7) 11 Wraps (6) 12 Bills (5) 14 Vapour (5) 15 Appear (4) 17 Introvert (3)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Spins, 3 Costs, 6 Owl, 8 Certain, 9 Sent, 10 Models, 12 Master, 13 This, 16 Nearest, 17 Pan, 18 Diet, 19 Names.

Down: 1 Shots, 2 Sack, 3 Carton, 4 Spaceship, 5 Sings, 7 Landscape, 11 Seven, 12 Mined, 14 Sinks, 15 Stun.

Scribble Pad

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Implied diplomacy protects one (5) 4 Tee, rough, gutter (6) 9 Salt in submarine rainwater (7) 10 Many sound prospects for prospectors (5) 11 Grind? Put right finally with lubrication (4) 12 Unspoilt old city in South African region (7) 13 Allow rent (3) 14 A warrior in the Cherokee tribe (4) 16 An instrument of love and honour (4) 18 We hear this boy of ours is a star (3) 20 Nearest damaged grave (7) 21 This is one indication left inside (4) 24 Roots about at the bottom of the trunk (5) 25 Whirling eel in enclosure (7) 26 Rearranged medals for a young lady (6) 27 Miss a trick (5)

Down 1 Boy at orchard’s entrance for fruit (6) 2 The Queen’s dog is caught by college head or an American soldier (5) 3 Very small team in New York, initially (4) 5 In connection with someone in the family?

(8) 6 Endure in the grip of the Thunder God (7) 7 Has a shilling to back the Spanish fight (6) 8 Seaside feature is a cover for illegal activities (5) 13 To the listener it’s an advance addition only (8) 15 A murder suspect, one hears? (7) 17 Frenzied cheat, editor admits (6) 18 Bad weather in which a pastor must go out (5) 19 Eagle you hear all over the place, is about three miles away (6) 22 Learner taking the Great North Road? He’s landed up in Scotland (5) 23 Learn from a book about placing a short advertisement (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Love apple (6) 2 Welsh breed of dog (5) 3 Minute (4) 5 Family member (8) 6 Experience (7) 7 Irritate (6) 8 Face (5) 13 Forlorn (8) 15 Tympanic membrane (7) 17 Frenzied (6) 18 Tempest (5) 19 Association (6) 22 Scottish landowner (5) 23 Understand writing (4)

Across 1 Unspoken (5) 4 Channel (6) 9 Seaman (7) 10 Ore deposits (5) 11 Drudgery (4) 12 Normal (7) 13 Give permission (3) 14 Brave man (4) 16 Double-reed instrument (4) 18 Star (3) 20 Serious (7) 21 Evidence (4) 24 Upper body (5) 25 Staggering (7) 26 Young unmarried woman (6) 27 Move in and out (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 7 Damage, 8 Target, 9 Keys, 10 Termites, 11 Caramel, 13 Nepal, 15 Cabin, 17 Parapet, 20 Debonair, 21 Tern, 23 Debase, 24 Errant.

Down: 1 Kale, 2 Nausea, 3 Heathen, 4 Stark, 5 Bruise, 6 Beverage, 12 Awakened, 14 Farrier, 16 Isobar, 18 Actors, 19 Cadet, 22 Rank.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Am As At Be Ma No 3 letter words AGM Aha Min Nat Ode Pot Sac Sad Sin Sue Sun

Won 4 letter words Ages Egad Mart Nero Ohms Trap 5 letter words Aches Adept Agree Alien Amass Argot Heron Maths Messy Salsa

Set-to Shrub Sight Stews Stone Sumps Testy Treat 6 letter words Leaned Sashes 7 letter words Dahlias Ghillie 8 letter words Stencils Telecast

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 7 Cheap (inexpensive) (6) 8 Cebada (6) 9 Jaula (para animales) (4) 10 Stepson (8) 11 Volcán (7) 13 To be born (5) 15 Down (physical movement) (5) 17 Pigeons (7) 20 Montaña (8) 21 Cinturón (4) 22 Vulture (6) 23 Plata (metal) (6)

Down 1 Married (person) (6) 2 Coffee (4) 3 Nada (ninguna cosa) (7) 4 Bee (5) 5 Transfer (move) (8) 6 Grado (nivel) (6) 12 Small cushion (8) 14 Tristeza (7) 16 Hinchar (globo) (4,2) 18 Dormido (6) 19 Sueldo (semanal) (5) 21 Campana (de iglesia, puerta) (4)

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Friday, October 31, 2014 Across 1 Which alloy of iron with small amounts of carbon, is widely used in construction? (5) 4 What name is normally given to the members of a jury? (6 9 What was the surname of the Chilean statesman, president from 1970 to 1973, who was the first avowed Marxist to win a presidency in a free election? (7) 10 In tenpin bowling what name is given to the act of knocking down all the pins with two balls? (5) 11 See 23 Down 12 What is the name of the wine cup used in the Christian Eucharist? (7) 13 What was the surname of the American short-story writer, poet, and critic whose most notable works include The Fall of the House of Usher, The Murders in the Rue Morgue and The Raven? (3) 14 What was the name of Tarzan’s girlfriend? (4) 16 What name is given to a shoemaker’s model for shaping or repairing a shoe or boot? (4) 18 What was the first name of baseball star DiMaggio and snooker champion Davis? (3) 20 What was the title of John Lennon’s second British number one hit single and his 1970 best-selling album? (7) 21 Which country in the South Pacific consists of a group of around 840 islands, of which only about 100 are inhabited? (4) 24 Which solid-hoofed plant-eating domesticated mammal with a flowing mane and tail, is used for riding, racing, and to carry and pull loads? (5) 25 What is the name of the inflatable life jacket that is

Quiz Word

named after an American film actress noted for her large bust? (3,4) 26 What was the surname of the manager of England’s 1966 World Cup winning team? (6) 27 What name is given to the daughter of one’s brother or sister? (5)

Down 1 What is the surname of the cartoonist who created the schoolgirls of St Trinian’s? (6) 2 What is the first name of US comedienne DeGeneres? (5) 3 Which industrial city in northern Austria, lies on the River Danube, and is the capital of the state of Upper Austria? (4) 5 What word means prone to psychiatric problems or sudden changes of mood? (8) 6 What is the name of the female reproductive organs in which eggs are produced? (7) 7 What is the surname of the American folk musician and songwriter, who composed If I Had a Hammer and Where Have All the Flowers Gone? (6) 8 What is the informal term for reconnaissance? (5) 13 Which lapdog is a short-legged breed with long hair and a snub nose, originally brought to Europe from the Summer Palace at Beijing in 1860? (8) 15 What word, phrase or name is formed by rearranging the letters of another? (7) 17 Which musical instrument consisting of a flat wooden soundbox with numerous strings stretched across it, is placed horizontally and played with the fingers and a plectrum? (6) 18 What name is often given to the short crowbar used by a burglar to force open a window or door? (5) 19 By what other name is the hallux also known? (3,3) 22 What was the forename of comedy actress Ms Handl?

(5) 23/11 What is the name of the former St Helens and Great Britain rugby league scrum half who was banned for three months in 2004 for betting against his own team? (4,4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Countries

SUDOKU

Match these English and Spanish names of countries (answers below), then try and find the Spanish names in the wordsearch. Buena suerte!

1. Alemania , 2.Grecia,

17.Inglaterra, 18. Escocia,

i.Sweden, j.Ireland, k.USA,

3.Suecia, 4.Suiza,

19.Francia, 20.Irlanda,

l.Hungary, m.Turkey,

5.Arabia Saudi, 6.Estados

21.Gales, 22.Marruecos.

n.Denmark, o.Ireland, p.Holland,

Unidos, 7.Belgica, 8.Dinamarca,

1. Who landed on Timor Island after being cast adrift?

2. What was unusual about convict 2599 who was doing time in Pen State prison 1924?

3. What was Bumper Harris' (who had a wooden leg) job on the London Undergorund?

4. Angelo Scicilano was better known as who?

5. Who designed the WW 1 plane the Camel and co designed the Hurricane?

6. Who was poisoned, shot and drowned in the Neva River in 1916?

7. The Blur Max medal was named after Max who?

8. What country did Italy invade in 1935?

9. Only 6 people died in what historic event?

10. The Mau Mau were terrorists in which country during the late 50's early 60's?

1. Captain Bligh 2. It was dog doing life for killing a cat.

3. To ride new escalators to prove they were safe. 4.

Charles Atlas 5. Thomas Octave Murdoch Sopwith 6.

Rasputin 7. Max Immelmann 8. Abyssinia - Ethiopia 9.

Fire of London 1666 10. Kenya

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Sprat, 4 Lamour, 9 Evil eye, 10 Santa, 11 Lynx, 12 Mitford, 13 SOS, 14 Chic, 16 Axle, 18 Don, 20 A A Milne, 21 Cent, 24 Ghent, 25 Ocarina, 26 Rosary, 27 Edsel.

Down: 1 Stella, 2 Reign, 3 Them, 5 Alsatian, 6 Own goal, 7 Rwanda, 8 Beams, 13 Sculptor, 15 Hammers, 17 Badger, 18 Defoe, 19 St Paul, 22 Emirs, 23 Babe.

9.Paises Bajos, 10.Noruega,

a.Greece, b.Romania,

t.Norway, u. Finland, v. UK,

11.Finlandia, 12.Reino Unido,

c.Morocco, d.Saudi Arabia,

w. Scotland, x. France.

13.Turquia, 14.Rusia,

e.Germany, f.Belgium,

15.Rumania, 16.Hungria,

g.Switzerland, h.Wales.

B L U S A U D I F I S Z A K Z

I GRE CI S N O S WS P UGNE A A Y E L I L P I A CA E OGNNI T DA DA A A R I WWM I A MS OC E RL A NDA ODI NUC S OJ A B I GE URON GQUUCF M T D WZ A Soduko

A A F DA E A O QI S I I S S D NCA NNT E I RORA A A S N D C A MMD I U RS B A UOA I E E I RRS P D Q R A C O H WG U R R A MB A A L QL A E I I H I A RL S RA H DP GUGK J K DI RNT E J X CS UI Z A CC B HZ E S DDB Span - Eng

Answers: 1e, 2a, 3i, 4g, 5d, 6k, 7f, 8n, 9p, 10t, 11u, 12v, 13m, 14r, 15b, 16l, 17q, 18w, 19x, 20j, 21h, 22c.

history QUIZ

q. England, r. Russia, s. Finland,

ALEMANIA ARABIA BAJOS BELGICA DINAMARCA ESCOCIA ESTADOS FINLANDIA FRANCIA GALES GRECIA HUNGRIA INGLATERRA Quizword

IRLANDA MARRUECOS NORUEGA PAISES REINO RUMANIA RUSIA SAUDI SUECIA SUIZA TURQUIA UNIDO UNIDOS Fill It In

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Friday, October 31, 2014

GURKHA DURBAR:- THE EVEREST OF HIMALAYAN FOOD

Los Alcazares can now boast a fantastic new restau rant serving mouth-watering authentic, fresh Nepalese Indian dishes made by their long experienced chef.

Gurkha Durbar opened in June, and already has a loyal clientele, which is growing every day, as the word of mouth recommendations spread, and customers come back for more after tasting the exquisite flavours on offer.

Gurkha Durbar serves a wide range of all your favourite Indian dishes, as well as typical Nepalese delicacies, such

as Lamb safari, Sherpali chicken or Hamali fish curry.

Starters include Momo, Tiki and spicy chicken wings. All food is freshly made upon your order, using fresh, ground herbs and spices from the Himalayas.

The fully air-conditioned restaurant offers a peaceful, relaxing atmosphere, with friendly, experienced staff who are there to accommodate whatever you want.

Gurkha Durbar’s motto is quality and hospitality, and they seem to have got it just right. The flavours are perfect, the quantity is ample and everything is great value. For example, Menu of the Day is served every day, including Sundays, for just 9.50€, and the Special Menu is served all day, every day, for just 12.95€. Takeaway is also available, with a 10% discount, and there is free delivery over a 10km radius on orders over 25 euros. There is a menu for children, for just 5.50€, and for anyone who prefers something less spicy there is sirloin steak and chips.

Opening times are 12:00 to 16:00 and 18:00 to late, every day of the year, including Christmas and New Year’s Eve. There is a separate suite for parties, if you want to

c o m e and celebrate y o u r birthday or some o t h e r special occasion in the company o f friends.

F o r further details, or to book a table, phone 968 593 198 or 637 053 809. The restaurant is situated on the main road between Roblemar/The Arches and the 525 Hotel. It is right next to the Mediterranean Chinese Wok restaurant.

There is ample parking space outside the restaurant.

But don’t take my word for it, come and see for yourself why Gurkha Durbar looks to become the best known restaurant on the Costa Calida.

Friday, October 31, 2014

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Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 Your ruler, Mars, moves into your chart’s career zone early in the week, helping you to make real progress with a current project or a new, ambitious scheme. It also seems that someone close is prepared to give you the support you need to reach your goal.

You can usher in a whole new chapter in your friendship if you include them in your plans this week.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Events this week are due to help you overcome a problem in a close alliance that has held you back or undermined your confidence in your own judgment.

With your ruler, Venus, beaming down on your close bonds all you need to do to bring about important changes is relax and be yourself. Do not be afraid to show your feelings.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Your ruler, Mercury, stops travelling backwards through the skies this week, and better times now lie ahead. With so much action in your chart’s zone of adventure the emphasis is now on breaking new, exciting ground, and on using your creative talents, so cut loose from restrictions and aim high. Plan to catch up with old friends later in the week.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Domestic tensions ease this week, and your focus shifts to what is happening in your private life. With romantic Venus in tune with telepathic Neptune and the Sun an important bond takes centre stage. Your intuition is now working overtime, so trust it and take action. It is becoming clear how important someone is to you.

Friday, October 31, 2014

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 Your home life and closest bonds are under lucky, easygoing stars this week. It also seems your recent efforts to establish a much deeper understanding with a loved one are soon due to pay dividends.

Take the help that someone has to offer and do not look for problems where there are none. A certain battle is as good as won.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 With your ruler, Mercury, stirring up confusion in your chart’s financial zone in recent weeks, making progress may not have seemed easy. This weekend it changes course, so turn the page and look ahead. A conversation early in the week could also make you feel quite differently about a love affair or close alliance. Live life to the full.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Tuesday’s powerful link between your ruler, Venus, and the subtle, psychic planet, Neptune, helps you to read between the lines and pick up on a loved one’s feelings. Reason may dictate a certain course of action, but listen to your heart and not your head this time around.

You can bring about a breakthrough if you trust your sense of timing.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Recent problems or uncertainties are due to ease this week, so put your doubts about a certain situation to one side and trust your judgment. With romantic Venus in your sign linking to the Sun and psychic Neptune you may sense that you mean more to someone who preoccupies you than you had feared. Let your intuition be your guide.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 With so much positive celestial action in your chart’s most sensitive and psychic zone you may be preoccupied by your own deeper needs in the week ahead. You also pick up easily on others’ unspoken feelings, so do not look for problems where there are none or settle for shortterm solutions. It seems you hold a winning hand.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 The fiery action planet, Mars, moves into Capricorn early in the week, giving you the drive to achieve your most ambitious goals. Understanding changes in your feelings, or in a close friendship, also comes high on your agenda. Just how much common ground you share should soon be crystal clear. Let events unfold at their own pace.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 A creative project has the stars behind it in the weeks ahead, but the time has not yet come to put your grand plan into action.

Slow down and tune in to your private inner world instead. What matters now is being thorough and determined. A powerful link between the Sun and subtle, inspiring Neptune helps you find the right way forward.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 A shared ambition could unexpectedly give you common ground with someone you spend time with. It could also make you see them in a very different light, so be open to the possibilities around you and flexible about the future. Monday’s link between your ruler, psychic Neptune, and romantic Venus suggests important changes are at hand.

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Friday, October 31, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Vic was having problems viewing his banks ADVICE: Chris wanted to know whether website on his new laptop she had to remove AVG 2014 before Hi Richard, i tried to log onto installing the new version. my Spanish Bank I am using

Q

a laptop with windows 7 and internet explorer 10. I know I used the right password and user name but it would not let me in, when I got back to Spain I went to my Bank they have a computer for customers use they told me to try to log on which it did all OK, I went home tried on my laptop no luck it was saying no account and wrong password I tried on my wife's laptop XP internet explorer 7 went straight in all OK tried it on Google nexus tablet all OK but every time I try on my laptop I get the same message no account and wrong password or user name you have 3 attempts. I done a scan with Microsoft Security Essentials and malware bytes all OK done a ccleaner but still the same - your advice would be appreciated I am not great with computers. Regards Vic

A

Hi Vic, I have seen this problem before when using Internet Explorer 10 – and IE11 for that matter – the banks have not added the relevant coding to accommodate these newer web browsers. One thing that you can try and has worked several times for me in the past is to add your banks website to the “compatibility view” of Internet Explorer. This is pretty simple to do, just launch IE, click on the cog (top right) and click “compatibility view settings”, then in the new window enter your banks website address and click add then close.

This will force IE to work in “compatibility mode” when visiting your banks website – give it a go and see how you get on.

Q A

Hi Richard. Do I have to cancel AVG 2014 before I can update AVG 2015. Your advice would be much appreciated. Chris

Hi Chris, AVG 2015 came out some time ago so if you are still running 2014 you really need to consider upgrading sooner rather than later.

You can download the new version from here… http://free.avg.com/eu-en/free-antivirus-download …when you install the new version it will automatically remove the old version from your computer as part of the installation routine.

Hope that helps.

ADVICE: Josephine wanted help with a .pdf viewer Hi Richard, need a bit of help with P D F Viewer. I bought my computer from you and need you to advise me whether I am able to install the above or is it already within. I am worried to try to do anything in case it crashes. I have a couple of bookings that I need to obtain to print out from EasyJet etc. I am away very shortly, so can you please let me know as soon as possible as what I need to do!

Many thanks, Josephine

Q A

Hi Josephine, when we supply computers we always install Adobe Acrobat Reader – the thing you need to read .pdf files, so if it’s one of our computers it should already be installed, if it’s not then you can get a free copy of it from the following address… http://get.adobe.com/reader/

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

ADVICE: Michael wanted to know how to translate a document, he had scanned, into Spanish

Q A

Hi Richard, I have a letter which I wanted to translate and so I scanned it to file hoping to be able to copy into google translator, however the file is jpeg from the scanner and I can`t copy it. Is there a way it can be done? Regards, Michael

Hi Michael, this isn’t the first time I have been asked this question, back in 2011 I had a similar question from David, you can see the answer here… www.bluemoonsolutions.es/faq/david-was-trying-to-translate-some-documents-thathe-had-scanned-into-his-computer …however things have now moved on and I have, with a bit of research, found the following website… www.free-ocr.com …they offer a free OCR (optical character recognition) service to many languages (including Spanish), why not give it a go and let me know how you get on?

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, October 31, 2014

HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARE CAR

SCARY COSTS AND CREEPY UNRELIABILITY REVEALED AS THE WORST PARTS OF MODERN CARS ARE COMBINED INTO A FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER OF A MOTOR The UK's "nightmare" cars break down every other month and cost an average of £550 each time to repair.

With the suspension of an Audi, the gearbox of a Jeep and the electrics of a Mercedes-Benz, the fictional vehicle is a Frankenstein's monster of the least reliable parts, created in time for halloween.

To come up with the worst elements of all cars on sale, automotive specialist Warranty Direct analysed its 50,000 live policies to concoct the monstrosity, dubbed the Horrific 40RR0R, by combining the worst-performing cars from each of the categories measured by its unique Much less than the sum of its parts - the 'Frankenstein's monster' car is assembled from the most unreliable parts of various modern cars Reliability Index.

The Reliability Index calculates the trustworthiness of vehicles by measuring average cost of repair, frequency of failure, age and mileage. While the average car scores 100 in the Index, with the lower the score the better, this grim creation would be five times more unreliable, with a figure of almost 500.

The body parts of the Horrific 40RR0R comprise: BMW M5 (2004-2011) engine; Audi RS6 (02-11) axle and suspension; Jeep Grand Cherokee (06-present) gearbox; Mercedes-Benz R-class (04-present) electrics; Fiat Multipla (99-05) braking system; Seat Alhambra (96-present) air-conditioning; Chrysler 300C (05-present) steering system.

Warranty Direct's Reliability Index shows that two in five vehicles need some form of repair each year and, while the average repair costs just over £350, some garage bills can reach £35,000.

David Gerrans, the managing director of Warranty Direct, said: "The Horrific 40RR0R is a bit of fun that will, thankfully, never be built, as it stitches together the cars that perform worst in each of the mechanical categories we measure.

"This large variety of vehicles that goes into the concoction proves how typically reliable cars can be dragged down by one poorly-performing part."

According to the company's data, almost two fifths of Audi RS6s require a trip to the workshop to repair axle and suspension components each year, while three in every 10 Mercedes-Benz R-class vehicles suffer electrical faults.

Gearbox problems are rarer, but statistically more than one in 10 Jeep Grand Cherokees will have gearbox problems annually.

A quarter of BMW M5s require repairs to their engines, while the same proportion of Fiat Multiplas will experience braking system faults.

More than 10 percent of Chrysler 300Cs will require repairs to their steering systems. The same number of Seat Alhambras will need their air-con fixed during a typical year.

Friday, October 31, 2014

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Friday, October 31, 2014

SCIENTISTS REVEAL SHOCKING REPORT ON THE FLU VACCINE

The winter season is here again and in the media older people are advised to have the flu jab. But recent reports from notable scientific publications are not so encouraging. A scientist from John Hopkins university, Peter Doshi, has recently published a report in the British Medical Association (BMA), revealing that vaccines are far less effective and cause far more side effects than are acknowledged by the authorities. According to Dr Doshi, vaccine studies are primarily based on low quality scientific studies that are not normally accepted as scientific evidence. He said that the only serious scientific study that looked at the possible benefits of vaccines found none at all. He also pointed out that other studies show that vaccines are only able to protect 1 person out of every 100 people vaccinated. Another scientist and neurosurgeon, Dr Russell Blaylock , author of the book ‘ The Blaylock Wellness report´, is very deeply concerned over the effectiveness and safety of vaccines. ‘ Vaccines do not work, and the government knows it’ he says. According to Dr Blaylock, the study done by the Cochrane group involving hundreds of thousands of people showed that vaccines only worked in a third of people in nursing homes, and only when the right vaccine for the year was picked. Most flu vaccines are preserved with a toxic preservative thimerosal, which contains 50% of it’s dry weight in mercury, and mercury is a well known neurotoxin that causes damage to the brain and nerves. In addition to mercury, flu vaccines also contain formaldehyde, anti freeze and biological proteins from dead animals. Flu vaccines have been documented to

cause serious diseases including Alzheimer´s, Autoimmune diseases and Heart Diseases.

What is true is that certain viruses such as influenza virus or adenoviruses are more prevalent in the winter seasons. Nevertheless the body has ways of protecting itself against such microbes. Our research at MedB clinic shows that the immune system is the weakest during the winter season, probably because it has to work the hardest during the winter season.

The most effective and cheapest way to improve the immune system is with Vitamin D. Spending half an hour in the early morning or late evening sun is a good way to get a good dose of Vitamin D. Another important supplement for the winter is Colostrum, which contains antibodies and antibiotics to boost the bodies immune system.. Reishi, a type of mushroom, is also very good for modulating the immune system.

For a full body diagnostic scan call Dr Machi Mannu: 965071745

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Friday, October 31, 2014

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS TO CONTACT@MEDB.ES

A UNIQUE NATURAL STRATEGY FOR TREATING ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

Erectile dysfunction is a growing health problem today, but what is not well known is that it foretells cardiovascular diseases (diseases of the heart and blood vessels). And in many cases people with Erectile Dysfunction (ED) also suffer from diseases of the heart, arteries and kidneys. ED is caused by a dysfunction in the way blood flows through the arteries of the penis. It is said to occur when a man is unable to achieve an erection or keep an erection long enough for sexual intercourse to take place. To understand the cause of Erectile Dysfunction, it is important to understand the physiological changes that occur in the penis to bring about an erection. Running down the length of the penis are arteries and a spongy tissue, and to achieve an erection, this spongy tissue has to be filled with blood from the penile arteries. As long as this spongy tissue is engorged with blood, erection is maintained until blood flows out from it. To increase blood flow to the penile arteries and fill the spongy sacs with blood, the body produces a chemical called Nitric Oxide (NO). Nitric Oxide is a powerful relaxant of the arteries in the body. When the arteries of the penis are relaxed, more blood is able to flow into the spongy sacs to maintain an erection. Many drugs used to treat high blood pressure work by producing Nitric Oxide.

The arteries are lined by a thin layer of cells known as endothelial cells. These cells produce an enzyme that converts the amino acid L-Arginine into Nitric Oxide. The amino acid L-Arginine is commonly found in our foods, however due to a number of factors such as digestive illnesses and genetic factors, many people have problems with its absorption, and may become deficient.. Nevertheless problems are not usually with its absorption, but with its conversion into Nitric Oxide. As pointed out earlier, before the conversion of L-Arginine to Nitric Oxide can occur in the body, the inner lining of the arteries have to produce a special enzyme to do the job. In some people however, this inner lining of arteries

is damaged mainly from long term inflammatory disease and the accumulation of plaque. This damage is the main cause of cardiovascular diseases such as Peripheral artery disease, Heart attacks, Kidney disease, Strokes and of course Erectile Dysfunction. A common outcome of vascular disease is atherosclerosis, which occurs when the arteries become hardened and inflexible due to the deposition of plaque. Atherosclerosis is triggered by the inflammation of the linings of arteries also called endothelial cells, and it is usually associated with heart disease. Unsurprisingly Erectile Dysfunction is commonly associated with heart disease and high blood pressure caused by atherosclerosis. To make matters worse, many prescription drugs used to treat high blood pressure are also known to cause Erectile Dysfunction as a side effect.

Based on an understanding of the way the body achieves erections, researchers embarked on a clinical trial using 2 natural ingredients L-Arginine and Pycnogenol to treat Erectile Dysfunction. L- Arginine is the amino acid the body

converts into Nitric Oxide. Pycnogenol contains compounds that stimulates the inner lining of the arteries to produce the enzyme that converts L-Arginine into Nitric Oxide. This clinical trial has been repeated several times, and has achieved a success rate of up to 92% cure in 3 months. Participants were given up to 1.7 grams of L-Arginine in 3 divided doses daily. In addition, they received up to 120 mg of pycnogenol also in 3 divided doses. Pycnogenol is an extract of pine trees mainly found in the south of France. Several studies have shown that pycnogenol is effective for healing many diseases, including those involving the heart. What is even more impressive is that unlike other therapies for Erectile Dysfunction such as Viagra, this approach with L-Arginine and Pycnogenol not only cures Erectile Dysfunction, but also treats the damage to the inner lining of arteries that causes cardiovascular diseases. Furthermore, participants were able to achieve erections even when the therapy was stopped.

At MedB clinic, we have used this natural approach with L-Arginine and Pycnogenol to successfully treat Erectile Dysfunction however, the most recent studies from the pioneers of this technique show that a better success rate is achieved by adding a third natural compound called icariin.

An important part of the erection process is that it comes to an end, and the body achieves this by producing a neutralizing enzyme called phosphodiesterase. Drugs such as Viagra work by stopping the body from producing this enzyme. Viagra only works 50% of the time. Our approach at MedB for treating Erectile Dysfunction involves a combination of L-Arginine, Pycnogenol and icariin to ensure a high success rate. In addition, a free mini diagnostic scan of the cardiovascular system is carried out to rule out other causes of ED. To find out more and book a consultation, Call Dr Machi Mannu: 965071745

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Friday, October 31, 2014

WHY YOU SHOULD BE ON THE PADRÓN

There has been widespread confusion in the past, concerning who should register on the Municipal Padrón, and what the benefits are.

Therefore, we have compiled a brief outline to give you a better idea.

If you are a permanent resident in Spain you are legally obliged to register on the Municipal Padrón at your local town hall, regardless of nationality. The “padrón” is the list of names and addresses of all of the people living in a given town; similar to the Electoral Roll in the UK; and the term “empadronarse” describes the act of registering on the list. However, in spite of this being part of Spanish law, there are many people, including British expats, who fail to follow this protocol. It is not really understood why they are not keen to make their presence known to the

Spanish authorities, as the majority have no qualms over following similar procedures in their hometowns.

Perhaps they feel that they are putting themselves under a spotlight and vulnerable to harassment by the authorities if they give their details to the town hall?

However, this is far from the truth, as the idea of the register is merely to monitor how many people are living in each area for demographic purposes, and predominantly to ensure that the correct level of funding is allocated to the provision of public services. The authorities stress that padrón registration does not give access to a person’s financial affairs and is not used as a sneaky way of checking their official residence status.

WHO CAN REGISTER ON THE PADRÓN? Anyone who has a fixed address can register on the padrón, even if they do not own a property personally, and are only renting or lodg-

ing with friends or family somewhere. Plus, in comparison to obtaining NIE numbers and residence certificates, registration is a relatively simple process and completely free of charge!

Most town halls these days are equipped with their own padrón office or department, which is accustomed to completing the process, as well as dealing with foreigners who do not speak the lingo! The Administrators will ask you to complete an application form, submitting this accompanied by a photocopy of some form of identification, such as a passport, along with your NIE document or residence certificate/card, a recent utility bill in your name which bears your current address, and either the deeds to your house or a copy of your rental contract. In busier offices you may be requested to return the following day to collect the actual certificate, whilst in others it is produced there and then.

Friday, October 31, 2014

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Friday, October 31, 2014

Property

thediscountcard.es

Restaurants & Bars

Lifestyle & Services

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Friday, October 31, 2014

FREE AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHOIR mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom,

Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone: 647-189-135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at

10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The Rainbow Centre for spiritual awareness We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Limonar just off the CV 905 Rojales to Torrievieja road We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clairvoyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentrecostablana@gmail.com

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

INSURANCE

SITUATIONS VACANT

Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL MEDIA needs selfemployed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:- 664 838 581

base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SITUATIONS WANTED WANTED. English speaking mother's help aged 30-40, with driving licence, to help 7 year old boy with homework, and look after him.

Work hours will be 4 hours a day, Monday to Friday. Own room with bathroom provided, in a house with a pool and garden, in Alcayna, Murcia. Pay will be 125 euros a week. If you have a young child this will not be a problem. Phone 607 43 39 43 or email: mancanpa@yahoo.es CARPET FITTER WANTED Experienced part time carpet fitter wanted for the expanding and successful Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos. Must be hard Working, smart & friendly, with first class customer facing skills. A clean driving license, your own transport & tools are essential. Please send CV with references to carpetheaven@hotmail.es or call us on 966720782 for more information BUSY HAIR & BEAUTY SALON IN THE PLAYA FLAMENCA AREA REQUIRES A PART-TIME FULLY QUALIFED BEAUTICIAN TO JOIN THEIR FRIENDLY & PROFESSIONAL TEAM. TEL: 648111779 FOR DETAILS. Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

Need English speaking

solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your

SOLICITORS problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for

WIG SPECIALIST Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

POOL TABLES

WANTED

BLINDS

BARBER

CATERING

ALARMS

CARPENTER

GARDENER

CLEANERS

43

Friday, October 31, 2014

CAR BREAKERS

DRAINAGE

REMOVALS

PETS

POOLS

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

SURVEYOR

BUILDERS

PLUMBERS

VAN HIRE

44

Friday, October 31, 2014

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

CHEERS FOR BEERS!

If you’re out golfing in Florida in the States, then check out your local 19th hole, where you might see some familiar faces with Freddie Jacobson, Keegan Bradley or Graeme McDowell popping up at the bar. Not in real life sadly, but you’ll be able to check out their personalised craft beer produced by the GolfBeer Brewing Company! The venture was founded by the three pros last year, and is launching a series of player-branded craft beers. The first to hit select golf courses, restaurants and country clubs in are Jacobson’s Scandinavian Style Blonde Ale; Bradley’s New England Style Lager; and McDowell’s G-Mac’s Celtic Style Pale Ale, with the beers aiming to meet the taste preferences of each of the golfers.

The project was a combination of three things, one was the natural connection between golf and beer and the 19th hole; another was starting up a new business, and the third was finding what the gap in the market was for something different.

The three have gone for a more drinkable, refreshing craft beer than what they have seen so far. Once Peter Jacobson had done the research and consulted the brewing experts at Brew Hub, he invited Keegan Bradley and Graeme

McDowell to sign on as business partners, and neither hesitated! Keegan and GMac are two guys that fans and fellow golfers around the world would love to have a beer with, especially in the States.

Peter Jacobsen and G-Mac

are golfers and already restaurant owners, and so they felt that GolfBeer is the perfect marriage, bringing together two of their favourite things. “I am excited to join the GolfBeer team,” said McDowell, “and I look forward to sharing our beers, both at my restaurant Nona Blue and at courses and clubs throughout Florida.”

This is the first time pro golfers have started their own beer company, and as a golf enthusiast who appreciates a good brew who

knows, if these beers find an audience, imagine the expansion possibilities:Rory McIlroy’s - Cream (of the Crop) Ale Bubba Watson’s - Masters Mead Ian Poulter’s - Impertinent IPA

Phil Mickelson’s – P----ed Off Pilsner Colin Montgomerie’s - Mrs. Doubtfire Stout Vijay Singh’s - Ponte Vedra Bitter Suzann Pettersen’s Bombshell Blonde Ale Nicolas Colsaerts’ - Muscles from Brussels Belgian Ale Laura Davies – Laura’s Knock It Back Lager Lydia Ko’s - Teen Dream Nonalcoholic

BISHOP DEFROCKED

Ian Poulter has received a groveling apology from the US PGA president Ted Bishop, who had branded the Ryder Cup star a ‘lil girl’.

But, whatever you may think of the side-lined Bishop, he has taken the heat off Tom Watson, the man Bishop selected to captain the US Ryder Cup side at Gleneagles last month. Normally after the Ryder Cup there is light hearted teasing as the winning side enjoys bragging rights for a few weeks, but this round there hasn’t been any. Instead, Paul McGinley’s men have been looking back in surprise at the way things have gone on in the US since that Saturday in Scotland when Tom Watson said, “This team sucks”. Even Phil Mickelson complained, indirectly about Watson’s captaincy; the PGA of America issued a kind of an apology from Tom Watson and now they have sacked Ted Bishop for the way he reacted to comments in Ian Poulter’s autobiography “No Limits”. Ian Poulter comments related to the captaincies of both Nick Faldo and Tom Watson.

Faldo got a mention because he was the

European captain at the 2008 Ryder Cup, and while commentating on this year’s match said that Sergio Garcia was ‘useless’ during the loss to the United States at Valhalla six years ago.

But as for mentioning Watson, it was really more or less what everyone felt, that his decision making was mysterious to say the least. My guess is that most of the golfing fraternity was able to recite the Ted Bishop tweets without hesitation, but let’s go over them.

He referred to Poulter as a “Lil Girl” on Twitter as he compared Poulters’ record with Faldo’s and if that was not enough, he then detailed on Facebook both Watson’s and Faldo’s records before adding an objectionable comment, that Poults sounded like “a little girl squealing during recess, C’MOM MAN!” What silly lingo for a man in his high flying position! We have all seen young (and older) people making inane tweets without considering what they have said/done. But who would have thought they a man in such a senior position would resort to such immature comments?

Sadly, the supposed wisdom of Mr. Bishop’s years did nothing to stop him going off on an immature tangent and as he said himself since, would never have sent it had he really thought about it first. The m e d i a grabbed it before Ian Poulter had half a chance, but it might h a v e helped if Poult’s had diffused the situation by saying some-

thing like “I have been called much worse”. Instead he added to the professed seriousness in an interview asking: - “Is being called a little girl meant to be derogatory or a put down? That’s pretty shocking and disappointing, especially coming from the leader of the PGA of America. No further comment”.

You have to ask is everyone satisfied now that Ted Bishop has been kicked out or are they feeling uncomfortable? It is now the Bishop has been labelled as sexist, but his critics would seem to be forgetting he was effectively alone amongst those in the Ivory Towers in daring to suggest that the R&A have women members. Of course it does not have to be on social media, like George O’Grady springing to Sergio Garcia’s defiance when he made a racist remark at a European dinner, and then finding himself pilloried for using incorrect terminology. This was when the CEO of the European Tour mentioned that Garcia had many “coloured” friends when the word “coloured” had been switched to “black” by the PC brigade. I guess Poults will have some sympathy for Bishop, it was not long ago when he tweeted: - “My kid’s nanny has been downgraded from business class. My wife will have no help for the four kids for ten hours”. One tweet back was:- “My thoughts are with you in these dark times Ian”.

Perhaps it would be well to heed the advice of the actor George Clooney who has shunned social media. In a recent interview explaining why he doesn’t have a Twitter account, he said, “Just because, I like to have a drink at night, I could easily say something stupid, and I also don’t think you need to be that available.”

Exactly!

KNOW YOUR RULES TITTER ON THE TEE QUESTION In a Stableford competition the player has marked the wrong number of points for a hole. Should he/she be penalised?

ANSWER No. The player is responsible for entering the Gross score on each hole. It is the Committee’s responsibility in individual stroke play, to issue for each competitor a score card containing the date, the competitor’s name and playing handicap, and, on return of the score card by the competitor, to add up the scores for each hole to arrive at a total for the round and to apply the handicap recorded on the score card (Rule 33-5). In Stableford competitions, to compute the number of points scored (Rule 32-1).

A man and his wife were getting a divorce in a court; but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: "Your Honour, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?"

The judge ruled in his favour.

Friday, October 31, 2014

BARCA LACK EL CLASICO BITE

45

REAL MADRID 3 BARCELONA 1 Luis Suarez's Barcelona debut ended in defeat last Saturday as Real Madrid came from behind to take all three points at the Bernabeu, and to make matters worse, the Catalan midfielder, Andrés Iniesta , is set to miss the next four games with a calf injury.

The Uruguay star enjoyed a dream start to life in a Barca shirt as he laid on Neymar's fourthminute opener, but Madrid looked to hit back immediately as Karim Benzema missed two good chances soon after. Lionel Messi's customary composure in front of goal then deserted him before his great rival Cristiano Ronaldo levelled from the penalty spot before half-time.

That was the first league goal conceded by Barcelona this season but then defender Pepe headed Carlo Ancelotti's team ahead and there was a party atmosphere at the Santiago Bernabeu when Benzema converted a brilliant 61st-minute counter-attack. It was Barcelona's first La Liga defeat in nine matches this season and moved Real to just a point behind

them in the table, sandwiched by third placed Sevilla.

"I'm proud of these players because their professionalism and seriousness is unique," said Real boss, Carlo Ancelotti. "We didn't lose our heads after going behind. We stuck to our ideas and everything came off well. We wanted to attack, with possession, using the wings. In the second half, we won the game because we wanted to win it.”

Barca coach Luis Enrique placed blame for the defeat on his defence, and he also defended his decision to play Suarez from the start in the striker's first competitive match since June.

"I don't regret that he started, he did more than I expected him to do, and I substituted him for fitness reasons," Enrique said of Suarez. "I was expecting a different type of game, not one in which we would be so unconvincing in defence.”

Barcelona are at home to Celta Vigo this Saturday evening, whilst Real Madrid earlier on travel to Granada.

ILICITANOS WOES CONTINUE

VALENCIA 3

ELCHE 1

Elche endured a miserable journey up the AP7 to Valencia on Saturday night with a result that leaves them rooted second from bottom in the relegation mire of the Primera Division.

All three Valencia goals came from Pablo Piatti corners with Elche's also coming in a similar manner as a late consolation.

Valencia started in the ascendency, with Piatti's strike only just missing the target. Yet the Argentinian would go on to play a crucial role in the contest, providing the first of his three assists just before the quarter of an hour mark when his corner from the left led to Mustafi rising highest to head home. Valencia were two goals to the good after 18 minutes from another set-piece as Piatti's inswinging corner from the right was glanced in at the near post by Parejo. Elche were being penned back into their own half and on the rare chance they managed to get forward, they did not threaten.

REAL AVOID SHOCKER UD CORNELLA 1

REAL MADRID 3

There were no banana-skins for Real Madrid on Wednesday night in their Copa Del Rey outing against Segunda B side Cornella. Raphael Varane gave Carlo Ancelotti’s side the lead after just 10 minutes, but Oscar Munoz levelled the score with an impressive turn and finish, making the most of some slack Blancos defending.

Cornella provided an attacking threat for much of the opening 15 minutes, but were undone from a set piece once again when Varane grabbed his second from a corner kick, rising highest to head past Jose Segovia, who had strayed from his line. Javier Hernandez, who was handed a start alongside Karim Benzema up front with Cristiano Ronaldo given a rest, netted the third, with substitute Marcelo(pictured a in a wild celebration) wrapping up the win for Real ahead of the second leg at the Santiago Bernabeu in early December.

Valencia's dominance extended to after the interval, with Piatti shooting wide when well placed while Nicolas Otamendi's header from the midfielder's free-kick was saved by Elche goalkeeper Manu Herrera. But Valencia extended their lead in the 64th minute when another Piatti corner took a final touch off Lomban at the front post which left Herrera with no chance.

The Ilicitanos ended a forgettable night with a flourish as Jonathas headed home from Faycal Fajr's centre in the second minute of stoppage time but it mattered little to the overall result, which left Elche manager, Fran Escriba fuming.

“Our keeper was barely troubled but let in three goals against a team who may be superior on paper, but in reality on the day were not much better than we were. I’m angrier over this loss compared to one where we would have turned in a poor performance”.

Escriba told reporters that he was convinced that he could take Elche out of the relegation zone, with their next match at home this Sunday evening to Espanyol.

46

Friday, October 31, 2014

SPORTS FIXTURES

TORRY ON A ROLL CD TORREVIEJA 1

CD CASTELLON 0

Saturday 1 November 13:45 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Newcastle United v. Liverpool Arsenal v. Burnley Chelsea v. Queens Park Rangers Everton v. Swansea City Hull City v. Southampton Leicester City v. West Bromwich Albion Stoke City v. West Ham United

Sunday 2 November 14:30 Manchester City v. Manchester United 17:00 Aston Villa v. Tottenham Hotspur

Monday 3 November 21:00 Crystal Palace v. Sunderland

Friday 31 October 20:45 Norwich City v. Bolton Wanderers

Saturday 1 November 13:15 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 18:15

Wolverhampton Wanderers v. Birmingham City Blackburn Rovers v. Reading Blackpool v. Ipswich Town Brentford v. Derby County Cardiff City v. Leeds United Charlton Athletic v. Sheffield Wednesday Huddersfield Town v. Nottingham Forest Rotherham United v. Middlesbrough Watford v. Millwall Wigan Athletic v. Fulham Bournemouth v. Brighton and Hove Albion

Tuesday 4 November 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 21:00 21:00

Birmingham City v. Watford Brighton and Hove Albion v. Wigan Athletic Derby County v. Huddersfield Town Ipswich Town v. Wolverhampton Wanderers Leeds United v. Charlton Athletic Middlesbrough v. Norwich City Millwall v. Blackburn Rovers Sheffield Wednesday v. Bournemouth Bolton Wanderers v. Cardiff City Reading v. Rotherham United

Wednesday 5 November 20:45 Nottingham Forest v. Brentford 21:00 Fulham v. Blackpool

Friday 31 October 20:45 St. Johnstone v. Motherwell

Saturday 1 November 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Celtic v. Inverness Caledonian Thistle Dundee United v. St. Mirren Hamilton Academical v. Partick Thistle Kilmarnock v. Dundee

Monday 3 November 20:45 Ross County v. Aberdeen

Friday 31 October 20:45 Deportivo de La Coruña v. Getafe Saturday 1 November 16:00 Granada CF v. Real Madrid 18:00 Atlético de Madrid v. Córdoba 20:00 Barcelona v. Celta de Vigo 22:00 Real Sociedad v. Málaga

Sunday 2 November 12:00 17:00 19:00 21:00

Athletic Club v. Sevilla Villarreal v. Valencia CF Levante v. Almería Elche v. Espanyol

Monday 3 November 20:45 Rayo Vallecano v. Eibar

A fine strike from Borja midway through the first half, earned CD Torrevieja their third straight win last Sunday, and fourth place in the table, just three off the top with a Wednesday night trip to struggling Acero to come. They could and should have had a second just before half time when a Steve header was disallowed, presumably for offside.

The home side looked lively from the off, but Castellon’s defence was well organised, but a Burguillos header went just wide in the first few minutes for Torry, though the visitors missed a gilt-edged chance in 15 minutes when Carrascosa hit the ball over the bar, with just Oscar to deal with.

Rafa Gomez set up the one goal with a finely executed free kick from the right in the 20th minute. Curling away from goal, the ball was only partially cleared as Jorge was pole-axed in the box. Borja controlled the loose ball on the edge of the penalty area and smashed it into the top of the net.

Castellon’s best opportunities came in the second half with a couple of good chances, but keeper Oscar stood up to the plate, not having conceded a goal so far in October.

CHEERS FROM RAFA ACERO 0

CD TORREVIEJA 1

Torrevieja notched up their fourth consecutive win to finish October with a clean sweep of victories, as they won at Acero on Wednesday night to keep them just two points off the top of the table.

Rafa Gomez(pictured chilling out after the match with Carrasco) makes a point of scoring winning goals away from home and he did just that with a delightful piece of individual skill in the 19th minute.

Receiving the ball in full flight on the edge of the box, he jinked past two defenders with grace, then lifted the ball over the advancing Salva in the Acero goal. The keeper made a partial block, but Rafa hurdled him and stroked the ball into the empty net.

The second half was tense but once more Torry had the best chances.

Three times they were two against two and failed to capitalise. Torrevieja are back at home this Sunday looking for their third win in a week as they entertain SC Requena with a 5.00pm kick off.

MONTE TRAVEL WELL BENIJOFAR 2

CD MONTESINOS 3

The away form of CD Montesinos continues to impress, and they bounced back from a poor home performance against San Miguel, to turn in a good result at a stubborn Benjijofar side who refused to surrender, despite being down to nine men for the last five minutes.

Early exchanges were event, with the first big cheer being for Monte’s Macan (making his first Monte appearance for two years), who got the 60-plus travelling fans cheering as he let go of a great pass to set up Vaz in the penalty area, with the referee awarding a very debatable spot kick, which Vaz missed for the second week running! Despite the visitors continuing to press, Benijofar’s first serious attack ended with a goal with the help of a deflection off Manuel, but Monte levelled up matters on the stroke of half-time with Fernando feeding an excellent pass to Vaz, who made sure that the two teams went in level at the interval.

In the second period, Vaz went close again as did Rubio from distance but all credit must go to young improving Orouker who was a makeshift defender in place of Angel who gained all the praise of both sets of supporters for his solid no nonsense mature performance. It was his pass to M+A who set up Vaz to score his and Monte’s second with a deft finish to take the lead. Yonhi was subbed for Marcos and this had an immediate impact as a foul on him saw a second yellow and Benijofar were reduced to 10 men. Seconds later, a Marcos free kick saw Monte’s third goal, but with 10 minutes to go, Benijofar pulled one back, before a rash challenge saw them reduced to nine men. This Sunday afternoon, CD Montesinos entertain Formentera with a 4.30pm kick off.

SWEAT APLENTY

There’s plenty of energy being used by members of the area’s newest Rugby Union club with twice weekly training by the DS Barbarians on Guardamar beach. The club has been impressed by the turn out from the first week from players of all ages and shapes and sizes, both male and female, with a big boost from social network sites like Facebook. The club, who are still looking for a training ground and a match venue, meet on Guardamar beach every Monday and Wednesday night from 8.00pm, with a bit of post-training bonding in a local bar to boot.

For more details contact Saul on 634 042 913 or Dutch on 692 767 242.

47

Friday, October 31, 2014

LIVERPOOL ARE BALOW PAR…

AND OVER THE KOP PRICES DON’T HELP EITHER! The locals are not happy at Anfield. During the sterile 0 – 0 home draw on Saturday against Hull, Liverpool fans protested against ticket prices, where the cheapest seat is £37 against the average Prem price of £28.80 (N.B. for the anoraks, at £50 Chelsea are the most expensive… .).

All those ecstatic Reds supporters who had a soccer ball last season watching their world-respected team back in the big time must be gnashing their teeth in frustration again. It just ain’t happening for Liverpool so far this season and unless some major changes take place, it won’t be. How has it all gone wrong so quickly for a team that so nearly won the prestigious Premier title last year, only just coming second to mighty Man City and ahead of Chelsea and the rest?

The first and most obvious reason is that Luis Suarez has gone. His 31 goals, scored after missing the first seven games through suspension were nothing short of phenomenal. No wonder Liverpool resisted all calls to get rid when he had caused the club so much embarrassment, but the truth is Suarez is irreplaceable: no other player scores goals, provides them for others and is such an inspiration to any team he plays in that when he goes a lot more departs than just his goals.

Suarez’s striking partner last year and scorer of 21 goals himself, Daniel Sturridge was initially left to shoulder the striking burden upfront - but

now injuries that have always plagued the England striker are keeping him out of the side. It’s four weeks now since the boy from Birmingham played and Liverpool are badly missing his speed and strike ability - and it’s goals the Reds are sadly lacking. In the narrow fortuitous 3 -2 win against lowly QPR two of the three were own goals, only Coutinho’s solo effort counted properly.

Liverpool will never get an easier, ill-deserved win, and Brendan Rodgers admitted as much.

Mario Balotelli – what a huge risk the Anfield management have taken in bringing the volatile Italian loner to a passionate club like Liverpool.

At the moment with no league goals and very frustrating performances so far, Balotelli has fallen way short of the club’s expectations – no doubt gladdening the sceptics who will point out the man’s deficiencies to anyone. Always moving on, never settling Mario has form as a footballer who is only interested in himself, a one-off who is consistently good at attracting the wrong sort of publicity. Last week’s half-time shirt exchange with Real Madrid’s Pepe did him no favours at all as he was duly substituted for the second half. Off-field claims were made that Mario had threatened a woman over an incident with his Maserati, all unnecessary issues that his club deplore and will not help his image.

Unless the man from Palermo quickly improves, scores and continues to score, then Liverpool will have to accept they got it wrong and get rid: there is no room for passengers at Anfield.

In midfield, the England team also have a very valid interest in Liverpool with three of the side regularly play-

ing for their country. At 21, Raheem Sterling has the world at his feet, and whatever he does is a hot topic, both for Liverpool and England. The young man has much to learn, and does seem to court trouble off the field, sometimes Balotelli-style. Jordan Henderson ploughs a busy furrow in the engine room, again now a regular for his country - at times he looks like the apprentice to the great Steven Gerrard who has seen it all at Anfield. Adam Lallana is the third Liverpool midfield player, fresh from captaining Southampton who also promises an exciting future for the club. Rodgers can build the team around these three as Gerrard will inevitably step down sooner or later. ExBrazilian wonder-boy Phillippe Coutinho had a great season last time; he can also score goals and create from midfield.

In defence last season, Liverpool conceded 50 goals, by far the most of the top teams, a factor conveniently glossed over when looking at the Reds’ fantastic year. What looked a sound close season buy from Southampton, Dejan Lovren, is now struggling to settle in the heart of the back four. He and Martin Skrtel do not seem to have worked out the necessary roles of who-picks-up-who: even QPR caused them problems. The return of full back Joe Allen must be a great relief; the Reds have only kept two clean sheets in the last 17 games. A flukey last minute win in the League Cup this week put the Reds into the last eight, but at least sub Bal0telli scored one.

Liverpool scored 101 goals last season, just over half from Suarez and Sturridge at an exciting rate of 2.67 per game. So far with nine games gone, it’s just over half, down to 1.44. Scoring 13 in 12 games and conceding 12 says it all. For all that, Liverpool are still somehow seventh but already nine points behind leaders Chelsea. To repeat last season’s second place now looks highly unlikely - mediocrity more like the order of the day: once again.

SHARKS ATTACKED YOUNGSTERS AT HOME Torrevieja’s youngest swimmers made something of a splash last weekend, with the city hosting the first league competition for the lowest age category in the region. 193 young swimmers from eight clubs took part in the meeting with Club Natacion Torrevieja having 11 competitors.

The youngsters delivered a series of excellent personal bests, starting off with Jacobo Ruiz in the 100m breaststroke taking 15 seconds off his record, whilst Amy Connolly followed in the girl’s race(event pictured), and

The San Javier Squalos ran out comfortable losers in the opening Murcian regional second division match of the season, but the final 34-nil scoreline at Murcia B (action pictured) was a little bit flattering to the home side. The visitors were made to pay heavily for some some early mistakes, with the half-time score standing at 17-nil, with the second period being a hard fought contest but with the Sharks having nothing to show for it. Elsewhere Totana were awarded a sevennil victory at Torrevieja Tigers, with the home side not fulfilling the fixture, and being docked a point into the bargain. In the Cadetes League, CUR Murcia got a tight 27-26 win at the Nelson Mandela stadium over Torrevieja, whilst the San Javier Squalos lost 19-38 at home to Totana.

slashed 16 seconds off her top time. In the boys 12yrs 100m backstroke, Densel Fusha and Vitalio Veres lowered their times by over 10 seconds each in a weekend where everybody worked hard, culminating in a relay team competing in the Benjamin 4 x 50m freestyle contest.

The next action for Club Natacion Torrevieja will be in a fortnight’s time (November 15th and 16th) with swimmers from all ages taking part including the Masters.

RELIANT ROBIN RESCUES REDS! Friday, October 31, 2014

48

‘FERGIE TIME’ IS BACK AS SAINTS CLOSE THE GAP ON CHELSEA.

The Battle of the Bigguns between leaders Chelsea and money-noobject Man United ended all square 1 – 1, but it could have gone either way in a terrific match in which both young goalies, Courtois and De Gea played blinders. Chelsea stay top after nine games, but very significantly Man United have one point fewer than David Moyes’ team last year.

Hmm.. See below for ‘Old Boys’ chat*.

Question: - Who’s got the best Prem defence by miles? Chelsea? Man City? Arsenal?

No, all wrong - it’s super Southampton with an incredibly mean five conceded from nine games while scoring 20. Of course the eight against Sunderland helped, but you’d think with Lovren and Shaw leaving the defence would be struggling. No sir, the 1 – 0 win over Stoke carried on Saints’ amazing start and midweek away in the League Cup, Saints did it again to Stoke, 3 – 2 this time.

Wham, Bam, thank you, Sam! It’s taken a couple of years and he’s suffered dog’s abuse from the West Ham terraces, but big Sam Allardyce’s team are on Song (Alex) at last, even without sicknote Andy Carroll. Early doors on Saturday, mighty Man City came unstuck at Upton Park against a rampant Hammers who have now moved menacingly up to fourth. Just wish that awful Russell Brand wasn’t a Hammers fan – still, can’t choose your supporters, can you? City continue to have problems in the Piranhapolluted Prem, slipping to third, and it gone even worse on Wednesday when as holders, the Blues were knocked out of the League Cup by improving Newcastle.

John McGregor reports

Suffering Sunderland couldn’t put the St Mary’s eight goal hoodoo behind ‘em as they lost 2 – 0 at home to Arsenal who celebrated their 1,500th Prem goal with a Sanchez brace. Sadly it was another two defensive howlers that undid the Black Cats - mind you that Chilean is fast.

What’s a Rabona? No, it’s not a blackcurrant drink, but Spurs’ Erik Lamela demonstrated one brilliantly; if you missed it, then You Tube his super strike last week in Europe. It’s the latest must-have party trick kick for any top team - but don’t try it at home, it could damage your credentials. On Saturday, somehow Spurs spurned their first half Adebayor lead and lost.

Newcastle’s Ameobi scored seven seconds after the second half whistle blew, that was followed by debut Spanish Striker Ayoze Perez’s effort. It tormented Tottenham 2 -1, inflicting the Lillywhites third home defeat. Post-match Mauriccio muttered mentality matters were affecting the team…The win pardoned Pardew, as Magpies boss Mike Ashley has new Scottish fish to fry - he’s only bought Glasgow Rangers: manager Ally McCoist is allegedly OK. The tubby Taarabt-tale aside, Quaintly Poor Really beat a withering, punchless Villa side 2 – 0 on Monday night to give the R’s a boost (ooh!). Can Harry keep it and them up? Villa have problems - is Red Roy still there or jumped ship already?

Poor old Burnley are now the only team in the league without a win, rock bottom. The latest executors were effervescent Everton, efficiently extinguishing Sean Dyche’s men 3 – 1 at Turf Moor where Samuel Eto rolled back the years with two belters either side of a Lukaku strike. That win lifted the Toffees up to ninth just behind Man U. On Saturday Everton v Swansea looks good, but the Clarets are only away to Arsenal Saturday - never rains, does it? *After Sunday’s Big Match old-colleagues-from-

Barcelona-days Jose Mourinho & Louis van Gaal were chatting in the bar as The Courier eavesdropped.

LVG: Hey, you Portugeezers were crack in ze World Cup, Jose - we Dutch came turd, you know.

JM: World Cup? Huh! I was busy building my new Chelsea while you weren’t winning it.

LVG: My new ‘young’ boys played well today, eh? We had 19 chances to your 9 – JM: So? You only scored one ‘Fergie time’, Louis, stupid ref…

LVG: You’ve changed, Jose... It’s right what they say about you theses days. You are ‘speky’ - ‘Mouthy Mou’ they say? You try to upset ze other managers, like that Pelligroany, and Arsey Wenger.

JM: And zey aren’t top, we are - you are all kilometres behind LVG: But we are getting better all ze time, Mou. Didn’t my Dutch boy Robin play well, he scored the equaliser and nearly stopped your Druid Dodi’s dodgy header.

We don’t play pensioners at Older Trafford. Hey zat is my new joke, we should call It Young Trafford now!

JM: Listen, Louis - You are eighth and Moyes got the sack for coming seventh - so you better watch out.

Now we’ve got QPR at the Bridge, who’ve you got?

LVG: Piece of peeza for you. Our Rayne Wooney’s bin has finished, now he can play our ‘Shi--y neighbours’ we say, ha ha! They don’t like him, you know.

JM: IF they beat you watch your big back, big man.

LVG: I’ll be OK, but thanks. Be nice now – show way, Jose!

P.S Very sad: Paul Gascoigne was sectioned (again) last Friday to start three days intensive therapy. You don’t want to be right, but…it can’t be long now. What a fabulous player he was: the tragedy is Gazza is only 47.