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Friday 30th Friday 6th November 2015 Friday 4thOctober March 2016

SNAIL’S PACE JUSTICE

wo years on, nobody has yet been charged for the “Body in the Bag” murder, with the corpse washing up on a La Zenia beach in March 2014. That’s despite a prime suspect being arrested on the Costa Blanca, whilst the man who allegedly ordered the hit, is spending 14 years behind bars for trying to import drugs into the UK. The Liverpool coroner has been quoted as saying that he doesn’t know whether any inquest will happen in Britain or in Spain, or anything on the time scale involved, let alone any legal proceedings Francis Brennan from Liverpool was discovered in a bin bag washed onto La Zenia beach after he was kidnapped by men pretending to be Guardia Civil agents in Javea. At the time of his murder. the 25 year-old was on the run from the police, as he was awaiting a court date following a stabbing at a concert in Milton Keynes. Brennan had fled to the Costa Blanca with his girlfriend, Sophie, before Christmas 2013 after ignoring the advice of his parents to stay in Britain, and was approached on January 24th 2014 in Javea by three men wearing caps like those worn by Guardia

ALEX TRELINSKI

Officers, and forced into a car, before being taken to an unknown location. The “hit” was allegedly ordered by Liverpudlian, Paul Scott, who was jailed for 14 years after admitting to conspiracy over the importation of cocaine to the UK, with the Guardia naming him as the prime suspect for plotting the Francis Brennan killing, which was said to be over a debt. One of the three allegedly “hired” for the job was said to be an associate of Scott, Paul Monk, who was arrested by the Guardia at his Javea villa last year), as part of the joint Operation Captura, with the British police. The Liverpool Echo reports that there are calls to work out what happens next and whether any mur-

der trial takes place in Britain or Spain, in addition to a long-delayed inquest on Mr. Brennan which is before Liverpool coroner Andre Rebello. Mr Rebello, told The Liverpool Echo, “We have heard from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. The judge in Spain is still awaiting further information from Merseyside Police. We need to know are there going to be proceedings in Spain or proceedings here?

I don’t think we are going to know anything for two or three months.” It has emerged that suspect Monk, wanted for questioning over the kidnap and killing of Mr Brennan, has not yet been extradited to the UK over outstanding drug trafficking matters, after the highly-publicised Guardia raid which was part of Operation Captura, the UK police campaign to bring fugitives to justice back in Britain.

News

Friday 4th March 2016

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The Eroski hypermarket chain is dramatically scaling down their operations locally with their outlets being sold to French giant Carrefour in a 200 million euro plus deal. The Basquebased retailer is selling 36 sites across Spain including their stores at Orihuela City and at Santa Pola whilst

Carrefour will also take over Eroski’s presence at San Javier’s Dos Mares commercial centre, as well as their businesses just outside Orihuela City and at Santa Pola, though the outlet at Elche will remain open, in addition to those at Cartagena and Molina in Murcia.

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Orihuela council has given the go ahead for a dog beach on the Orihuela Costa, with almost united support from all of the councillors. Last week's Courier reported that Ciudadnos councillor Luisa Boné had advocated using part of Cala Mosca, but after the vote, she said that she was happy to leave the

final location to be recommended by council officials. Coastal councillor, Sofía Álvarez, said that an appropriate site would have to be chosen which would take account of all appropriate health and safety concerns, with bins being provided in addition to providing a daily cleaning service.

Brisk Start

Sally

The long battle for a new replacement complex for the Principe de Espana school in Rojales is finally over with a two point seven million pound contract being signed between the Valencia Government and the Ecisa construction company, nearly a year after the tender was advertised. Three years ago the school building was classified as unsuitable in a surveyors report commissioned by the school’s Parent-Teacher AMPA group with water leaks, rising damp, and bad electrics all being reported. Back in 2013, The Courier reported on a six year old boy needing emergency treatment at

Los Alcazares, Tel. 618 391 491

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with seating for 300 diners. Also planned are new multipurpose classrooms, a library, and a gym as well as car parking space, all on the existing site. Work is scheduled to begin once contract formalities are completed, with the project expected to start no later than this June. Rojales Mayor, Antonio Perez, said that it was great news for the municipality after many years of protests from everybody wanting to ensure that their demands were listened to. The President of AMPA, school’s the Soraya Fernández, said that everybody wanted to see the bulldozers come in once the paperwork had been completed.

Bus Retort

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Torrevieja Hospital after falling on the cracked gymnasium floor. Protests and strikes have been staged on a regular basis, and in 2014, the then-Valencia President, Alberto Fabra, announced that there would be a replacement school for Rojales. The officially was tender advertised last April, ironically just days after part of the roof guttering fell onto an area where children normally gather. That led to parents sending their children to school in hard hats to make a point. The Primaria building will be totally demolished with the other three buildings of the complex being refurbished, as well as the provision of a cafeteria

The Valencia Region, led by the Costa Blanca, took in over 21 percent more international visitors in January compared to the previous year according to official figures from the National Statistics Institute (INE). The area welcomed over 366 thousand foreign tourists in the first month of 2016, with the rise not surprising as the returns at Alicante-Elche airport, as previously reported in The Courier, had shown a 19 percent leap over January

2015. Overall, Spain welcomed three and a half million tourists in January, which was an 11 percent increase on a year ago, with over 20 percent of the total coming from the United Kingdom. It’s early days yet, but everything, especially with massive summer bookings, is pointing to another record breaking year for Spanish tourism and passenger numbers at Alicante-Elche airport.

A new bus service linking the Entre Naranjos urbanisation to the Orihuela Costa and Torrevieja Hospital will happen says Orihuela coastal councillor, Sofía Álvarez, who has responded to criticism from political opponents that the planned December launch never happened. Álvarez, of the Partido Popular, rubbished claims from the PSOE's María Garcia reported in The Courier last week that the council had not applied for permission from the Valencian Government, and brandished the appropriate documentation at a

news conference. She added that the council had got a delayed response from Valencia a fortnight ago, and were waiting for the green light for the service. The councillor said that the suspended old Tuesday service to Orihuela City

from Entre Naranjos operated without the necessary authority from Valencia. "Just because previous administrations broke the law, we were not prepared to", Álvarez commented. "When the PSOE ran transport before they hardly produced the best services".

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 188 - 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or nonappearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

News

Friday 4th March 2016

Internet Con

A scam that saw around two and half million euros pocketed via an e-mail scam has brought the arrest of 17 people by the National Polcie in the Murcia region. The e-mail promised lottery winnings after the “lucky” recipients parted with money and personal details, and got

absolutely nothing. Authorities seized large quantities of computers; mobile phones; SIM cards, as well as luxury cars and cash. The con would target people in countries like the United States, Australia, and Saudi Arabia with news to unsuspecting tar-

gets that they had won a major lottery prize or had inherited money, followed by more e-mails trying to get personal information and passwords. Alicante, Murcia, and Malaga provinces were the hub of the operation, with many people involved in the plot said to be from Nigeria.

Crony Row Torrevieja mayor, José Manuel Dolón, has defended the hiring of a consultant at a salary of 79 thousand euros per annum, whose job will be to cut council costs. The opposition Partido Popular have criticised what they say is a 40 percent spending hike on consultants and that the new appointment, a former council official, was a friend of Dolón's. The mayor said there was no cronyism involved with the position and he was not a friend of the man, and that the role would identify millions of euros of savings

Australia to test debris found two years after Malaysian jet disappeared. Russia's Rosneft reports large oil spill on Sakhalin island. The Pentagon has opened its doors to hackers to improve security. for the authority, starting with the refuse collection service.

San Pedro Flood Stopper

Outgoing Irish coalition wins vote but without majority. Amnesty: Russian, Syrian government forces target hospitals. Putin drops election chief in surprise nomination list. Two women stage gun and grenade attack on police station in Istanbul suburb.

Going Dutch

Indian army: Troops kill 3 rebels in gun battle in Kashmir. Migrants block train line at Greek border.

A new stormtank along with four collectors in the Lo Pagán area of San Pedro del Pinatar is set to stop flooding of the La Puntica and Villananitos beaches, in addition to the Lo Pagán harbour basin area. San Pedro mayor, Visitación Martínez

A Dutch Orihuela Costa resident has been arrested as the ringleader of a local drug growing and distribution network, with supplies being shipped over to the Netherlands, as well as being used in Spain. Six men from the Alicante and Murcia areas have been brought before a San Javier judge after a 500 square metre warehouse on a Torre PachecoBalsicas area industrial

estate was raided by the Guardia Civil in a joint operation with tax authorities. Over 700 marijuana plants were seized by the authorities with experts estimating that the facility had the capacity to grow up to five thousand plants a year over several harvests, with the product being distributed across Spain and the Netherlands. The Dutch gang leader

was arrested on the Costa del Sol in Torremolinos, with a gun and associated drug equipment found at his Orihuela Costa home. One of his colleagues, who was in charge of distribution, was arrested in Los Montesinos, with half a kilo of marijuana buds in his possession. Three Dutch nationals, two Belgians, and a Spaniard aged between 19 and 55 were detained.

checked in on the construction of the tank last week along with Aqua CEO, Andres Martinez. The concrete tank is 35 metres long and 20 metres wide with a depth of over five and a half metres, and is situated in the esplanade in Lo Pagán harbour.

San Javier Tops For Tourists San Javier has been recognised as the first tourist municipality in the Murcia region, with regional Tourist minister, Isabel Borrego, witnessing the event at the Tomás Maestre marina in La Manga. The acknowledgement was signed by San Javier mayor, José Miguel Luengo (pictured right) with regional Economic Development minister, Juan Hernández, which recognis-

es the work that the area has done in promoting all aspects of tourism. Isabel Borrego said that the Murcia region was well above the national average for increased tourist numbers for 2015, with seven point one percent more international visitors last year compared to 2014. That was more than two percent more than the overall Spanish figures.

Polls: 74% of Russians would vote Putin for next term. U.S. plans naval exercises with India and Japan in Philippine Sea. North Korea fires projectiles after new U.N. sanctions. Germany's BMW warns its British Rolls-Royce staff of risk from EU exit. Dozens dead, missing in Angolan flash-flood. Mexico sees spike in H1N1 swine flu cases, 68 people dead. Britain to boost Calais migrant fund by around 20 mn euro. Chinese pandas given by President Xi arrive in South Korea

Friday 4th March 2016

All Clear Two British men have had their acquittals confirmed in a case dating back to 2010 involving the death of a British national who was killed when the roof of his Mazarrón apartment collapsed onto his head. Alteration work was being done without any planning approval but the Murcia provincial court upheld an earlier verdict from the Lorca criminal court that the two accused were not guilty of negligent homicide as it was unproven that they were involved with the homeowner in the unauthorised building work.

More Motors The number of new cars sold in Spain during February was close to reaching the 100,000 mark, according to the latest figures released this week by the association of Spanish car producers, ANFAC. ANFAC confirmed that 97,650 new cars were sold during February, 12.6 percent higher than in the same month in 2015 and the best February performance in the new-car market since 2008. The data means Spaniards have purchased 173,984 new cars since the turn of the year, 12.4 percent up on the 2015 figures for January and February and confirms two and a half years of continued rises in sales.

Dole News

Spain’s unemployment rate for February went up slightly from January mirrored by a marginal rise in the Murcia region, but a fall in Alicante Province. The national figure stands at four point one five million, an increase of two thousand, but the annual fall compared to a year ago stands at nearly eight percent. Alicante Province closed last month with just over one thousand people leaving the dole, whilst Murcia had a 659 rise in those signing on.

Landmark Reached

Spain treated its one hundred thousandth transplant patient last month according to the National Transplant Organization (ONT). The operation was carried out at the Dr Peset Hospital in Valencia. It was a kidney transplant and the ONT confirmed that the recipient is recovering well after receiv-

ing the organ. Reaching 100,000 transplants "shows the value the enormous effort of Spain through donors, their families and healthcare services," said Rafael Matersanz, director of the ONT. Spain also has the highest percentage of organ donors in the world with 39.7 donors per million people.

All For Nothing

Dog Day Afternoon

A puppy was rescued from a stolen car by a National Police officer after a chase through the streets of Alicante City on Monday afternoon, after the vehicle was taken by a 19-year-old Moroccan. The driver had just nipped out for a moment and the teenage thief sneaked into her car and spotted the ignition keys were still in. He then went behind the wheel and sped off hitting a number of cars in the process, but didn’t realise that he had

a four-legged passenger in the back. On-lookers saw what happened and called the police, with a National Police car chasing the stolen vehicle which skipped through traffic lights and hit a number of cars, with some of the drivers getting injured during the pursuit in Alicante. The car came to a halt against some parked vehicles, with the thief escaping on foot, as officers continued the chase. They caught him

and eventually brought him to heel despite an officer being injured by his violent behaviour. On returning to the car, officers found the dog in the back and also the owner’s handbag with 400 euros in it. The teenage thief has since been brought before an Alicante judge, and faced an extensive docket of charges that included resisting arrest; theft; vehicle damage, and crimes against road safety.

The French Connection Four people accused of digging a tunnel to rob an Elche bank in 2011 will go on trial in the city next month. The heist went badly wrong when the gang dug through into an office with no money in it at the Sabadell Bank branch on Calle Gabriel Miró, after they had rented an adjoining building and started constructing the tunnel. Prosecutors have called for jail terms ranging between three years and a year, whilst Sabadell have asked for 56 thousand euros of compen-

sation for the cost of sealing the tunnel, and hiring extra security staff when it was still open. Three years later, in August 2014, a different gang dug a 10 metre deep tunnel which ran for some 150 metres in their plan to rob a Banco Popular branch in the city, only for their torchlights to attract the attention of a security guard, with the crooks running away emptyhanded. They have never been tracked down by the National Police.

Low cost Spanish air carrier, Volotea, is to launch two new routes from Alicante-Elche airport from the start of April linking with Bordeuax and Nantes, to add to their existing services to Oviedo and Venice. The company is planning to open a base in Toulouse with Volotea's founder, Carlos Muñoz, saying that it's likely that a service between there and Alicante-Elche will get off the ground. Meanwhile, Vueling plans to open up 48 routes

this summer across Spain, including a new one between Alicante-Elche and Sevilla which will run twice weekly. UK destinations covered by Vueling this summer from AlicanteElche take in Cardiff, Edinburgh, and Manchester. Transavia has also launched a major new hub connection with a thriceweekly service linking Alicante-Elche to Munich aimed at both business and tourist customers, with the flights starting up this May.

The Last Laugh

May Day Rumpus

Torrevieja’s popular May Fair celebrations are going to have different organisers this year, which has left the Asociación Amigos de la Feria de Mayo fuming as they were told only last month that they were being cut for financial reasons. The group have now said that they are going to fight the decision all the way, including taking legal action. Torrevieja councillor

África Celdrán told the old organisers, who have been behind the event for the last 25 years, that the authority was looking for a lower cost option and were no longer prepared to put in public money when the May Fair could be paid for privately. The event is now set to be staged by la Casa de Andalucía, though no dates have yet been announced for the celebrations in the port area of Torrevieja.

A prank backfired when a man ended up arrested after pretending to be a hired killer as part of a joke on a friend. The victim, a Cuban national living in Torrent in Valencia province and in a relationship with a married woman, was spooked when he got threatening videos on his mobile purportedly from the woman's husband, a Colombian who said he was a contract killer and was going

to murder his wife's lover. The actual sender was a friend who lived in the same apartment complex who was playing a practical joke on him. But the threats led to the frightened Cuban man going to report the incident to the National Police in Valencia City. Officers traced the mobile phone messages to a few doors down the hallway from the victim. But before they got

there, the victim told the prankster, a 20-year-old Spaniard, about his ordeal – and the video sender got cold feet and confessed to his friend that it had been him all along. Even though the embarrassed young man told the police this when they arrested him, and his friend backed him up, he may still face charges for wasting authorities' time and for 'simulating a criminal offence'.

News

Friday 4th March 2016

Behind The Figures Torrevieja has the lowest annual income of any Spanish city according to figures released this week by the National Statistics Institute (INE) based on three year old Urban Indicator returns under the European Audit project to measure the so-called quality of life in 109 Spanish cities. The average income of a Torrevieja resident was just below 14 thousand euros per annum, whilst the Pozuelo de Alarc贸n area of Madrid came top at just over 70 thousand euros. The INE feature no analysis or interpretation that incomes in expensive cities like Madrid and Barcelona are going to be massively higher compared to lower cost areas

of the country. Last autumn, a survey from the AIS consultancy using government figures put cities in southern Spain, including Torrevieja and Cartagena, at far greater poverty levels compared to their northern counterparts.

Copper Bottom

Two men who are accused of stealing over 28 tons of copper wire in 40plus robberies across Alicante Province are in custody after being arrested by the Guardia Civil on the Northern Costa Blanca. The Guardia's rural crime team based in Calpe spent two years trying to track down

the Romanian's, aged 41 and 28, who are accused of stealing 27 thousand metres of telephone copper wiring which they sold on for over 100 thousand euros, and with a likely market value of three times that amount. Three tons of copper have so far been returned to Telef贸nica.

Rubbish Figures Trash collections in the San Javier municipality cost 85 euros per resident per year, almost twice the Murcia region average figure, according to a study from the Public Accounting department of Murcia University. San Javier's public service councillor Mar铆a Dolores Ruiz responded to the high costs

by saying that the survey didn't take any account of the fact that the area has around 32 thousand residents for eight months, and then over a quarter of a million for four months during the tourist season. The councillor says that the actual cost works out at 35 euros per resident per year.

Felling Anger

Torrevieja was placed fourth in a list of Spanish cities of over 50 thousand people, where poverty was most prevalent with 35.8 percent of the population below the so-called poverty line, closely followed by Cartagena on 35.5 percent.

Smugglers Smashed

The National Police acting in collaboration with British, French and Italian forces have broken up an alleged people-smuggling organization that illegally brought large numbers of Chinese nationals into Britain, Ireland, France and Italy. The police said that over 100 suspects of Chinese nationality were arrested, including the suspected ringleaders in Spain, and 150 forged passports were seized. The gang allegedly charged money to smuggle people from China into various airports on mainland Europe using stolen or forged documents. They later transported them to "secure houses" in Spain before sending them to final destinations mainly in the U.K. and Ireland. Police were alerted to the gang's operations in 2013 when growing numbers of Chinese nationals were stopped with false documents at airports including Alicante-Elche, Madrid, Barcelona, Malaga and Bilbao.

App Cops

The San Miguel Arc谩ngel Neighborhood Association has denounced a landfill site in the village of La Escribana, located on the road to Rebate, to the north east of the Ciudad de las

Comunicaciones. They say that the felled pine trees break the Special Protection Area rules of the Sierra Escalona and Dehesa de Campoamor.

Los Montesinos residents can now get in touch with the local police via the mobile messaging system WhatsApp. The number is 609 208 406 where people can report general incidents; problems on public roads like abandoned cars or fly-tipping; as well as passing on complaints or suggestions.

Granny’s Call

News

Friday 4th March 2016

Au Revoir!

Cold Deaths

A threatened grandmother called in the Guardia Civil to a Dolores address who then arrested her 21-year-old grandson after uncovering a stash of drugs into the bargain. The worried woman made her move after the young relative brandished a shotgun at her, with arriving agents detaining him and discovering a variety of drugs as well as general drug paraphernalia.

Rotten Apples

A Chinese cash and carry bazaar has been raided by the police on a Crevillente industrial estate with 500 headphones carrying fake stickers claiming to come from the computer and apps giant, Apple, being seized by officers. A Chinese couple were arrested and charged with copyright infringement after the police got Apple officials in Alicante to confirm that fakes were definitely being peddled out of the Crevillente bazaar. Amongst the items seized were a stack of home-produced Apple labels and stickers with bogus identification holograms on them.

Mortgage Boost

A French-owned marijuana greenhouse in Cox has been raided by the National Police, with a 45-year-old man taken into custody. Officers got tipped off that an industrial building in the town was been used for growing marijuana, and arrested the French national, who was subsequently refused bail by an Orihuela judge. He's been charged with

drug trafficking offences in addition to illegally tapping into the electricity supply to power up his network of halogen lamps and air conditioners on the clandestine premises. The police recovered 19 kilos of marijuana, which included almost 300 plants, in addition to 85 halogen lamps, 14 fans, 12 filters, and over four thousand euros in cash.

Friends Like Us A Norwegian couple living in Torrevieja have been found guilty of the crime of dereliction of duty after a friend of theirs died in a flat on Avenida Roentgen in October 2010. The man had been drinking, and the couple aged 64 and 46, put him onto a bed, after he fell to the ground hitting his head with a bleeding wound. The woman went out shopping, but the man fell out of bed and hit the deck

again, witnessed by the woman’s husband who did nothing about it, but waited for her to return from the shops, when she then called an ambulance. The man died of internal bleeding in Torrevieja Hospital the following day. The husband was fined 480 euros under the mitigating circumstances that he was drunk, whilst the wife was given a fine of eighteenhundred euros.

Two women were found frozen to death in the northern part of the Valencia region after getting lost when they were walking in the snow last Saturday night in the Morella area of Castellón.

Their male companion was rescued alive and taken to hospital with hypothermia, after snow ploughs, and then mountain rescue teams reached him on Sunday afternoon. Rescue servic-

es lost contact with the trio when they were making their emergency call because either their mobile phones had run out of battery life or they were in an area with no signal.

In The Dock The National Court Judge, José de la Mata has started taking evidence against five members of the Partido Popular leadership in Valencia during the time when Francisco Camps was president of the Valencian Government.

The defendants are facing three charges concerning the illegal financing of election campaigns in 2007 and 2008. The judge will also place on the accused bench a dozen businessmen from the construction of public

works which received adjudications from the Valencia Generalitat, such as the hierarchy of the Gürtel network and their leader, Francisco Correa. Francisco Camps has never been placed under investigation in the case.

Adios Ali

Safer Stretches Road improvements around the Almoradi area funded by the regional Valencia government have been announced, with the first project being safety enhancements to the CV912 route between Almoradi and-Dolores. Other work will see some carriageway The number of mortgages granted to buy a home in Spain rose 19.8 percent in 2015 from a year earlier, according to official figures. It’s the fastest rate since records began in 2003 and the latest sign the depressed property sector has turned a corner. Spain's decade-long housing boom went bust in 2008 dropping the economy into a six-year slump and leaving millions out of work. The country exited recession in mid-2013, and has been expanding ever since with 2015 marking three point two percent growth from a year earlier, one of the highest rates in the European Union. Spanish house prices have tumbled an average of around 40 percent in the last eight years, though the economic turnaround, record low interest rates and a glut of unsold homes has prompted Spaniards to return to the property market.

widening and work on improving visibility on bends on the CV-914, Almoradi to Orihuela road from the Cruz de Galindo roundabout to Don Pedro Bridge, as well as making safer the junction of the Mayayo and Gomares roads on the CV-935 Rafal to Almoradi route.

Bargain Hires

Spain has said yes to an American request to extradite an alleged jihadist wanted by Washington for conspiring with a woman known as "Jihad Jane" to recruit people online for attacks in Europe and

south Asia. Ali Charaf Damache, who holds both Algerian and Irish nationality, was detained in December in Barcelona. US officials say Damache worked with Colleen LaRose -- a

Pennsylvania woman who converted to Islam and took the name Jihad Jane -- and others to create a "violent jihad organisation" with men and women from Europe and the United States.

Double Trouble

Car hire prices in Spain are amongst the cheapest in Europe according to a new survey, with the Valencia region offering some of the most competitive rates. The survey from the Happy Car price comparison site puts Spain in third place on the continent for value for money, behind Croatia and Portugal. Valencia was the cheap-

est city in Spain at €6.94 per day, according to Happy Car, with Alicante second cheapest at €7.57 with a car in Malaga costing €11.94 per day. The report looked at bookings made for 20 countries and 250 cities from November 2015 to March 2016, but of course the hire rates will rise during the busy tourist season.

Prosecutors have called for a total of nine years behind bars for a man who robbed the same bank twice in Alicante City last December. His trial is

expected to take place later this month. On both occasions the unnamed man demanded eighteen hundred euros from the BBVA bank on Calle Reyes

Católicos with the second incident seeing him take a female cashier as a hostage before the National Police arrested him in an adjacent street.

Tony Mayes - About Life

Friday 4th March 2016

Lexie Shows The Way There are times when we find that teenagers have more common sense than people double and treble their age and a perfect example of this was seen by viewers of BBC 1â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Question Time last week, as 16-yearold grammar school pupil Lexie Hill ran rings around panellists with her comments. She took on the "stay in the EU" referendum campaigners, stopping the politicians in their tracks with a fierce attack on open European borders. Firstly she attacked the decision to raise the living wage to ÂŁ9 in 2020 and asked what that would do to quell the attraction in Britain from Eastern European migrants who earn a small fraction of that. Then she took them to task over unrestricted immigration from Europe into Britain. She asked how it could possibly be right to allow anyone without wanted skills into Britain just because they happened to have European nationality and yet make a much needed doctor from outside the EU, perhaps from India, having to jump through all manner of hoops before being allowed into the UK. She said the only thing that made any sense was to introduce an Australian-style points system for entry into Britain, but this couldn't be

achieved while the UK was part of the EU. Other members of the audience turned to see who this "prime minister in the making" was. Lexie wants eventually to have a career in politics. I hope, for one, I'm still alive to vote for her - thank goodness there are still some sensible people left in Britain. Do you remember that ridiculous piece of EU legislation requiring manufacturers of vacuum cleaners to stop making machines which used more than 1,600 watts. At the time I thought this was totally crazy because, from my experience, if you have a low-powered cleaner you only have to run over a carpet many more times, or fail altogether to pick up all the dust. So where is the saving? Apparently, the legislation was introduced to encourage manufacturers to create more efficient cleaners - but a simple law of physics says you can't get more out than you put in. Brussels was about to launch similar nonsense with kettles and toasters, but withdrew the order because they feared it would get right up the noses of us Brits just as we're voting whether to stay or leave the EU. They reckoned it could be enough to sway the vote in favour of quitting and they are about right.

If you have a 2,000 watt kettle it will heat the water to boiling point far quicker than a lesser powered one, and it's the same with toasters, so where's the logic? Since 2011, almost 130,000 children in the UK, aged 10 and under, have had to have teeth removed. Despite all the health education (and a visit to the dentist is free for children), we still have them suffering dreadful pain from decayed teeth. It was understandable in generations past but certainly not now. So why is it still happening? Stupid parents giving their children sugary sweets and drinks despite all the warnings and not taking their youngsters to the dentist for regular check-ups is why. It's yet another example of so many people not fit to be parents and thinking more of themselves and their selfish needs (no not needs, wants) than the care of their offspring. Every motorist who drives in this part of Spain will have cursed the multitude of road-humps which appear not only on side roads but main roads too. I've just heard this from a friend: "About five weeks ago I damaged my already poorly neck whilst being driven over a road hump! I have been in severe neck and head pain since. I have

been prescribed pain killers that did not relieve the pain, I have a neck X-Ray coming up and have now been given a second lot of pain killers to take in conjunction with the others, also Diazepam for nights. I have a neck collar to wear also. I awake with such bad pain that it takes a few hours to be able to freely move." Why then does Spain have to rely on these road humps to keep the speed of drivers under control? It's all very well police setting up all those road blocks to check the paperwork of drivers, but policing their driving skills, or, to be more correct, the lack of them, is far more important. I try to drive at the speed limits and am constantly overtaken. Spanish police should visit the British coppers and see how they use radar speed guns. My guess is they could catch many speeding drivers and collect a small fortune in fines - some of which could pay for the removal of those b..... humps! Any idea what was the most read story on the internet sites was last week in the UK? No, not the EU debate, or the latest Trump antics, or the war and cease fire in Syria. It was the traffic police in North Wales having to run down a runaway dog on a motorway and kill it on purpose to prevent the pos-

sibility of a serious accident or death. Police had gone to great lengths to try to catch the runaway dog which bit an officer trying to grab hold of it. Eventually it was decided the only way to prevent an accident was to hit the animal at high enough speed to kill it outright, which was done. But the anger it provoked from animal lovers was extreme, castigating the police. This sort of reaction saddens me. There seems to be a growing number of people in Britain who put the welfare of animals way, way above that of human kind. The real culprit in all this was the owner of the dog who allowed the pet to escape onto the motorway in the first place. Another pet story demonstrating how people get the love of animals out of proportion came from the village of Sandon, Hertfordshire. Here a vicious nut case with a gun and killed a goose which was quite an attraction, in escorting ducklings around the village. I hope police manage to catch the goose killer and the idiot is appropriately dealt with, but come on - is it justified to buy flowers to create a floral memorial to the bird? After all, thousands of its fellow geese are killed for people's dinner tables. And the final example of

all this comes from Gedling in Nottinghamshire, where two families are involved in a tug of love over a pedigree dog. Mickey, a Lhasa Apso bought for ÂŁ500, went missing in 2011, but his owner failed to find him. The dog had been found and taken in by another family who adopted him. But he went awol again and was traced back to the original owner through a microchip. The second family have refused to hand Mickey back, saying that he belongs to them now. The local council handed the dog to the second owners but that angered the first family who are turning to the courts to order the dog's return. Four-figure legal costs now seem likely. Another example of the Brits' love of animals defying logic. Finally comes the tale of a man whose e-cigarette battery exploded in his trousers. The drama was caught on CCTV footage showing the device bursting into flames, setting his trousers alight. A quickthinking shop assistant used a fire extinguisher to put out the flames, but the man suffered second-degree burns. Why people have to use these expensive and dangerous stop-smoking cures beats me - just quit. It just takes will-power...and here I write with experience.

Down They Go The bulldozers have been in this week to demolish two buildings to the left of Torrevieja's Town Hall on the city’s Plaza de la Constitucion, which will see an expansion of the authority’s headquarters. The next phase will see new offices costing over 300 thousand euros constructed on the site.

Locked Up A 34-year Moroccan man who stole from ten cars in the Callosa and Cox areas of the Vega Baja has been arrested by the Guardia Civil. He lived in an abandoned building in Callosa, and a variety of stolen clothing items were discovered when he was detained. No legal residency documentation was found on him, and he was also charged with assualting an officer.

More Offered The Vega Baja Hospital is to increase its portfolio of patient services and range of operations, according to Miguel Fayos, who was appointed hospital manager last year. New surgical procedures will be introduced at the Orihuela facility including in the field of hernia operations, as well as new patient care and treatment programmes.

Less Time A man who strangled his uncle and aunt to death with a belt at their Santiago de la Ribera home in December 2012, has had his jail sentence cut by the Supreme Court. José Miguel RC was given 36 years behind bars, and ordered to pay around 30

thousands euros in compensation to relatives. His defence was that he had no memory of the events and did not know what he was doing because he was high on drugs. The sentence was reduced to 31 and a half years.

Found And Treated

The first case of the Zika virus detected in an Alicante Province resident has been detected and successfully treated, with the exact home location not revealed by authorities. The 16-year-old boy had been in Columbia, with the National Microbiology Centre confirming the case and the teenager being given the all-clear from the disease after being treated in the middle of last month.

Black Clouds

Quick Pace Two dogs died in a San Javier house fire on Monday lunchtime which happened in the Las Picas

Down Under

Sewer improvements are taking place across Catral with new PVC piping replacing the old concrete pipes in the Calle La Cruz area, before work moves onto the Avenida Constitución and Avenida de Callosa areas.

News

Friday 4th March 2016

area of the municipality. The residents were uninjured in the blaze that took hold in the property’s

terrace area, with large black plumes of smoke spotted over a substantial distance.

updated more recently with very similar results. Tthe original report says within the Spanish life expectancy of 81.4 years, of these, 70.9 years were typically spent in full health with limited or no serious or

chronic medical problems. Life expectancy in Spain has been steadily rising and reached new highs in 2015, sitting at over 82 years and only beaten by Switzerland and Japan.

Long and Healthy

The world's smallest wireless pacemaker has been implanted in two patients at Alicante General Hospital. The two centimetre in diameter unite weighs just two grams and is just a tenth of the size of

conventional pacemakers, and it's the first time it has been used in operations at the hospital. The procedure took just 20 minutes, and both patients were both discharged the following day.

Spain is Europe's healthiest country to live in as well as boasting one of the continent's longest life expectancies, a report claims. Research published in the medical journal The Lancet in 2013 has been

Expats Leave Millions Of Pounds In Unclaimed Pensions salary upon retirement. Over the years, people’s working habits have changed. Gone are the days when people started with one company and stayed there until they retired. People now move to other companies and locations in search of better pay and conditions, or for a change of career. A consequence, when many people leave a company they can leave behind their pension entitlement without realising. Quite often they will be totally unaware that a pension pot has been built up. Although these pensions may be from employment from many years ago the term “frozen” is misleading as the funds will have either remained invested or been index linked to account for inflation. This means your pension pot could be worth significantly more than you may think. There are literally tens of millions of pounds owed to savers who have lost track of their, or their deceased partner’s, pension funds in this way. “Frozen” Pensions explained by Richard Samuels, deVere Spain Changes to the Pension system in the UK – ‘Pension Freedoms’ has alerted a number of people to “forgotten” pension ‘pots’. Sometimes they are also referred to as “frozen” or “deferred” pensions. What are they? Well, if you have worked for a UK company you may have enrolled onto the company pension scheme. There may have been a qualifying period, often employees were able to enrol from the age of 21. They may have been enrolled automatically. Historically, many of these pension schemes were used to attract employees as part of the company’s recruitment strategy. Often the employee will have made contributions from their salary, however, with some schemes only the employer contributed. This may have been what’s known as a “final salary” scheme which would pay a proportion of your final

A typical example of this came during a recent deVere client meeting, we asked Mr P (age 49) where he had worked in the UK. Although he had worked at numerous companies before relocating to Spain he felt sure he had not contributed to a pension scheme with any of them. One of the companies he worked for was a major Utility Company. He had started with them after leaving college and had left in his twenties after 7 years’ service. Because we take an interest in these things, we knew that the Utility Company had in the past a non-contributory “final salary” scheme and informed Mr P that even though he had made no contributions, his employer would have. Having given deVere authority to contact the company on hisbehalf we were able to trace Mr P’s pension and legally request a “transfer value”. This is the current value of the Pension Pot. To his surprise this turned out to be £105,000. Mr P decided to transfer these funds to an overseas scheme

which will allow access to his benefits from the age of 55. He then hopes to purchase his dream property here in Spain and enjoy an early retirement. The point is…many thousands of people are in the same position but don’t realise it! Our pension tracing service is absolutely free of charge Our aim being to repatriate our clients with the pensions they worked hard to accumulate. If you want further information, please contact Richard Samuels, Wealth Manager, DeVere Spain on 965 02 04 02 or you can email me at richard.samuels@devere-spain.es

News

Friday 4th March 2016

Buck Passing Princess Cristina's husband told a Mallorca court on Wednesday that palace officials oversaw the princess' tax dealings and were aware of his business operations at the Noos Institute, which is at the centre of a taxand-embezzlement trial in which the couple and 15 others are accused. Inaki Urdangarin told prosecutors he never made any decisions without consulting one palace official who handled the princess' affairs and that another official representing the royal household oversaw his wife's taxes. Cristina, sister of King Felipe VI, is the first Spanish royal to face criminal charges since the monarchy's 1975 restoration. The princess faces a possible eight-year sen-

About 30 people had to be evacuated from a Santa Pola apartment block at 3.00am on Wednesday morning after a fire outside on Calle de Gabriel Miró. Witnesses told the police that a car outside

Murcia’s regional government has at last got the keys to the unopened and unused Corvera airport after a Supreme Court ruling upheld last autumn’s lower court verdict that the

previous concession holder at the facility, Aeromur, had its contract rightly turn up by the regional authority. Observers suggest that it will be next year before the airport starts to accept flights

once a new contest is settled over Aeromur's replacement, with current San Javier and AlicanteElche operator, AENA, regarded as the favourite to win the franchise.

Negotiating Roundabouts HOW TO NEGOTIATE ROUNDABOUTS If you are unsure about the correct way to negotiate roundabouts, here are some simple rules to help you enter and exit roundabouts safely and in the right lane.

tence while Urdangarin faces nearly 20 years in prison if convicted. The case centres on accusations that Urdangarin - a former Olympics handball star-turned-entrepreneur - used his former title of Duke of Palma to embezzle about six million euros in public contracts award-

ed the institute for sports events from 2004 to 2007. One of the companies that allegedly benefited from Noos was Aizoon, a real estate firm that Urdangarin owned with Cristina, which has been labeled a "front company" in court documents.

Blaze Riddle the flats caught fire with somebody inside the vehicle, suggesting that arson was involved. The flames then spread to an adjoining car with the airbag exploding in that one, meaning the fire

having their biggest drop in a number of months, with a nought point nine percent

APPROACHING ROUNDABOUTS It’s important to remember to give way to traffic already on the roundabout. If the roundabout is outside urban areas of towns or cities, keep right. If the roundabout is in a built-up area inside a town or city and the lanes are clearly marked, you should use the lane that best corresponds to the exit you need to take. LEAVING ROUNDABOUTS This causes the most confusion amongst drivers. Which lane to choose? Why do I get beeped at if I’m in the right lane? Drivers must exit roundabouts from the right hand lane, because the only way to leave the roundabout is by turning right. This doesn’t mean we always have to enter the roundabout from the right hand lane. It depends on the exit we need to take. However this simple rule, in practice, can be more complex. Let us see some examples. 1st EXIT RIGHT Enter roundabout keeping to right hand side lane. Stay in lane until exit is reached. Indicate and exit roundabout.

headed in the direction of the front of a greengrocery shop, which was damaged. The flats were evacuated as a precaution at 3.00am. No further details were available as The Courier went to press.

Fuel And Food Prices Down

Much lower fuel and food costs have contributed to Spanish inflation rates

Slowly But Surely

year-on-year fall based on recent February 2016 figures.

CONTINUING STRAIGHT ON (e.g. 2nd EXIT STRAIGHT AHEAD) Enter roundabout keeping to right hand side lane. Stay in lane until exit is reached. Indicate prior to exit and leave roundabout. TURNING LEFT OR CHANGING DIRECTION (e.g. 3rd OR FINAL EXIT) Enter roundabout keeping to left hand side lane. Stay in lane until you have passed the exit before your turn off, then change lane by indicating right and giving other road users sufficient time to anticipate your manoeuvre. Don’t forget that drivers circulating in the outside lanes have priority, so use your mirrors to ensure you are not blocking them as you change lanes. We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Línea Directa please call 902 123 182 More information on Línea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

Friday 4th March 2016

Quality Counts A newly opened charity shop at Gran Alacant has just been converted into a furniture store selling only high-quality second hand home furnishings at affordable prices. Run by the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre, all sales will help cover the ongoing feeding and care costs of the centre’s more than 90 horses, ponies and donkeys rescued from abuse, neglect and abandonment. Centre co-founder Sue Weeding said the new store, located behind a much smaller existing rescue centre charity shop, is dedicated solely to furniture and is easy to navigate with displays organised by rooms. “I felt that there were people out there who would

gladly donate unwanted items of furniture if they knew someone would come and pick them up,” Sue said. “And on the flipside, there are always people looking for good-quality furniture at good prices to kit out their home. It’s furniture for the whole house so people really can

Gifts Aplenty

The Torrevieja Christian Fellowship (TCF) is holding a Craft Fayre at their headquarters on Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas in the city on Wednesday March 9th from 3.00 pm. A

variety of hand-made cards, knitted goods and embroidery will be on sale, plus a selection of items suitable for Easter, in addition to some light refreshments.

A new bereavement group is starting later this month under the auspices of the Paul Cunningham Nurses charity. Companions will meet as a social group at Café J’s bar at La Marina’s Consum Commercial Centre on Wednesday March 16th at 2.30 pm. Companions will help people deal with suffering

the loss of a loved one, by helping each other face the future, allowing each other time to grieve, being themselves and not putting on a front for others, by speaking freely amongst people who know exactly what they are going through. Everybody is welcome to attend or Email: pcn.diane@gmail.com

save hundreds of euros by shopping here.” The Gran Alacant store, staffed entirely by volunteers, is open weekdays from 10.00 am to 4.00 pm and a Saturday from 10.00 am to 2.00 pm. The shop is located at Ave Holanda, next to the Dialprix supermarket at Gran Alacant.

Big Cancer Boost

Companions Welcome

The Torrevieja-based AFECANCER charity recently received 550 euros after a generous donation from the Las Salinas Petanca League, thanks to money raised from a special event in memory of league member, Dennis Morrel. AFECANCER provides a variety of services for cancer sufferers and their families, and are based on Calle LosMolinos 9 with weekday opening hours of 10:30am through till 1.30pm. The phone number is 965 074 375.

Acts Of Farce

The recently-formed ACTS theatre company are putting on the farce, Don’t Dress for Dinner at the Benijofar Cultural Centre between Thursday March 17th and Saturday March 19th, starting at 7.30pm. All proceeds go to needy local people around Benijofar and tickets can be reserved by calling number 646 277 724.

Local & News

Friday 4th March 2016

Pets

Friday 4th March 2016

Volunteer Appeal

The K9 Club Animal Rescue Charity is after people with some spare time and a love of animals to help them out at their kennels and cattery in the Crevillente area. K9 has been in existence for many years and is a fully legal, and non-profit making organisation. It’s run by a dedicated team of volunteers who feel strongly about animal welfare and work hard to rescue, care for and re home animals. K9 relies totally on public donations, fund raising and the income from their two shops to

provide the funds to enable them to care for the animals to the high standard which they deserve. Help is needed to feed the animals, clean pens, walk the dogs as well as general work at their Crevillente base. That’s in addition to volunteers needed for the two K9 shops in La Marina and Almoradi, as well working on the K9 van, doing their deliveries as well as collections. If you are interested in getting involved, please call 661 350 963 for more details or go to the website, www.k9club.es

Toilet Time For Puppies So you have a new friend in your life with a gorgeous puppy but you straight away have to get down to the business of some toilet training. Initially, you will have to build your routine around your puppy's needs, and these are reliably predictable when they are very young. Puppies need to urinate immediately after waking up, so you need to be there to take your puppy straight into the garden without any delay. Eating its meal stimulates its digestive system, and puppies normally urinate within fifteen minutes of eating, and defecate within half an hour of eating. Puppies have very poor bladder control, and need to urinate at least every hour or two. They can urinate spontaneously when they get excited, so take your puppy out frequently if it has been active, playing or exploring. You may find it useful to keep a record of when your puppy eats sleeps, urinates

and defecates. Repeat cue words like 'wee wees' and 'poo poos' or 'be busy' and 'be clean' while the puppy is actually urinating or defecating. Use different words for each action so that you will be able to prompt the puppy later on. Always go with your puppy onto the patio so you are there to reward and attach the cue words to the successful actions! Fortunately, puppies are creatures of habit, so as long as you introduce the garden to your puppy as its toilet area early on, you should be able to avoid most of the common pitfalls. Make sure that you do not make any of the following toilet training mistakes: • Over-feeding; feeding an unsuitable diet or giving a variety of foods; or not feeding at regular times. • Punishing the puppy for its indoor accidents, which can make it scared of toileting in front of you - even outside.

• Feeding salty foods which makes them drink more. • Using ammonia based cleaning compounds (which smell similar to urine). • Expecting the puppy to tell you when it needs to go out which is unrealistic. • Leaving the puppy on its own too long. • By mistakenly associating the words 'good girl' or 'good boy' when they toilet, as opposed to the specific cue words. Guess what could happen the next time you praise your dog? • Laziness on your part, resulting in more wees indoors than outdoors. • Leaving the puppy alone on the patio, so you are not there to reward it for going outdoors. • Submissive or excited urination on greeting (if this occurs, take your puppy outside before you greet it and tone down your greeting).

• It is unfair to expect your puppy to go right through the night when it is very young. Owners who appear disappointed that their young puppy will not toilet when out on a walk, yet relieves itself the second it gets back home. This is because the puppy has been taught to toilet only at home (hopefully on the patio), and being creatures of habit, they often wait until they have returned home before evacuating their bladder and/ or bowels. To break this habit, you will have to get up very early one morning (when you have plenty of time), and get your puppy out on a walk before it has had its morning wee. You should not bring it home until it has been forced to go out of desperation. If however, you are unsuccessful, and your puppy has not toileted, then take it immediately onto the patio, or you risk it relieving itself indoors.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

BENJI Benji's has been in a foster home for quite a while, after his owner sadly passed away and his owner’s wife was taken into a care home. Benji is around five years old and great with other dogs and cats. He is one of the most gentle dogs we have had and will make a wonderful companion. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

BETTY Betty is very striking tortie, aged about six months, who was abandoned with her sisters in Catral. She loves other cats and is very affectionate towards people as well. Like all girls she loves attention and enjoys being pampered and spoilt by everyone. If you can offer Betty a home please call 610 832 726 or 600 845 420.

LEENA Leena is about a year old and is a beautiful and sweet natured Podenco who is great with other dogs. She just wants to play and is very active and will need a home where she will get lots of exercise, and walks very well on the lead. For more details about Leena please phone PEPAon 650 304 746 or send and email to them at p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

LUCAS & TITO 11 week old brothers Lucas and Tito were found tied to the bumper of a car left in a campo, and would certainly have died if they hadn't been found. They are living in the APAH kennels and will only be small dogs when they are fully grown. To arrange to meet them and others looking for a home, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

RANI Rani was born 18 months ago and survived in the campo. She has been living in a foster home since March with three other dogs and a cat. Rani is a very intelligent and loving young dog and walks well on the lead, loves playing and she loves to learn. For more on this adorable girl phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

ZANDER Zander is one of five brothers that were abandoned in a crate at six weeks old and he’s now ten weeks old. He has had the necessary puppy vaccinations and is just waiting to be adopted. Zander and his brothers are all happy, healthy energetic puppies who are a small crossbreed. For more information contact 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Friday 4th March 2016

Dave Silver

Friday 4th March 2016

Healthy Eating? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got enough on my plate! 'WHY are you bolting down your meal as if you were expecting never to eat or see food ever again?' Mrs S asked me the other teatime. I stopped gobbling, looked down at my plate and said: 'Eat sea food? This isn't sea food. It's lasagne.' Mrs S sighed as if she were finally tiring of my unique sense of humour -an unlikely scenario, I know, but that's spouses for you. 'Eating properly keeps your health well-maintained,' Mrs S pointed out. 'Rubbish!' I responded and resumed chucking lasagne down my throat. 'Eating rubbish will definitely not help, either,' Mrs S commented cleverly. 'I've seen you reaching into the grandkids' snacks cupboard and pulling out all sorts of sweeties. 'The odd bit of

confectionery as a treat will cause no harm to the children but they don't even get a look-in when their greedy grandpa is around.' Licking the last bits of lasagne from my lips, I said: 'To answer your original question, l consumed my meal at a hectic pace because I don't want to be late getting to the pub tonight. We're having a discussion evening. 'Whatever the subject of our debate,' I went on, 'it will no doubt be of far greater significance than your nonsensical views about food and your half-baked theories on eating the said stuff.' Reaching for my coat, I bade Mrs S farewell. 'No doubt I shall return home to you a wiser man.' Mrs S nodded in approval. 'I hope you WILL bring me home a wiser man. Any other bloke would be better than you!'

Half an hour later, our pub leader and mentor Andromeda Arkwright called for order. 'Tonight, gentlemen, the subject for discussion is . . . drum roll, please . . . Eating Sensibly. 'I now take great pleasure in calling on our young friend Barry to make the first contribution.' But Daft Barry, not for the first time, misunderstood the meaning of what someone had said to him. 'Er, I can't make a contribution because I haven't brought any food with me. However, if you want, I can nip home and bring back some biscuits.' Andromeda looked daggers at us as we started to snigger. Even Ol' Red Eyes, hitherto fast asleep on the floor, managed a weary chuckle. Andromeda pointed an admonishing finger at us

pubsters. 'You should be ashamed of yourselves for laughing at your friend. I'd put the lot of you on the naughty step outside if it wasn't already occupied by Fag Ash Bill and his many cartons of cigarettes.' Andromeda turned to Daft Barry. 'We don't want any food gifts from you, Barry, just a verbal contribution to tonight's debate on Eating Sensibly.' The latter thought for several moments before responding: 'A recent study of 1,000 people found that on average a person chews each bite of food only six times before swallowing. 'By not properly chewing your food, one risks problems with digestion including bloating and constipation. 'According to researchers at Ohio State University,

each mouthful should be chewed at least 30 times. Proper chewing also aids in the absorption of nutrients.' All of us stared at Daft Barry with a new-found respect. He turned scarlet with embarrassment and mumbled: 'Anyway, that's what my mum told me.' There was no need to continue the discussion because Daft Barry had said all that could be said. So we returned to acting daft and begging Dave the barman for drinks. And then Fag Ash Bill rushed into the pub and raised a point of order. He looked worried beneath the cloud of smoke which came in with him. 'So what's bothering you, Bill?' we chorused. 'I overheard your minidebate and that reference to chewing your food 30 times got me worried. What if the mission controller at a

space shuttle launch bites into a beefburger with half a minute to go to blast-off? 'How on earth can he count down from 30 to zero while simultaneously counting up from zero to 30 before he can swallow the first bite of his burger?' We pubsters digested the question and came up with several solutions ranging from cancelling the beefburger order to aborting the shuttle mission. It was left to our leader Andromeda Arkwright to settle the issue. 'There is no connection between space science and snatching snacks. Therefore, there is no question to answer.' After Andromeda had gone, I turned to the others and observed somewhat smugly: 'She's obviously forgotten that the Moon is made of cheese.'

Friday 4th March 2016

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI

I’m not one for daytime television, short of the occasional glance at Judge Rinder, but I have to say that I’ve enjoyed Channel Four’s latest cheap documentary series A New Life In The Sun, which is almost evening TV, as it plays here at 5.00 pm. It’s the old expats abroad formula in a whole series of situations in France and Spain, including the infamously familiar Costa Blanca routine of people thinking they could run a bar with no experience. That’s the family pictured above that took over a Javea bar and restaurant, and only after did it open last summer, did they have the foresight to check out the opposition! What makes it an interesting watch is that we have a whole series of well-cut stories featuring folk from a variety of backgrounds trying different things, and it’s mainly been positive from running a B & B in France through to a beautifully-set Andalucian hotel that stages weddings.

Accentuate The Positive

I didn’t want to enjoy A New Life In The Sun as I regard such programmes as cheap fillers, but it was professionally done and genuinely interesting, with Channel Four already on the hunt for new stories to feature next year. What a difference a vote makes! For the first time since the good Lord Webber co-wrote Jade Ewen’s Eurovision entry back in 2009 (and it finished a very respectable fourth), the UK have something that is not rubbish thanks to exVoice UK duo Joe and Jake hooking up for a pleasant ditty You’re Not Alone, which the BBC Four watching public chose last Friday night in a well-staged contest. Rather than some BBC executive making a poor pick (remember the Electrovelvet stinker from last year or has-beens Engelbert H or Bonnie T), it’s down to the people, so they have only themselves to blame comes the final in Sweden this May. I like the

song and believe it won’t be in the bottom half dozen, and if you are old enough to remember, there’s a little omen as the last male duo to represent the UK were The Allisons with the second-placed Are You Sure? in 1961. Back to Friday, a nice tribute was staged during the show to the great Sir Terry, and Mel Giedroyc made for a good host, but

why no Graham Norton (unless he was on his hols, as his BBC 1 show is currently resting)? There’s plenty of foreign language TV to get your teeth into on British channels, and so a few quick recommendations which you can catch up on via downloads. More Four is into the second series of the French political drama,

Spin, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and though a tad stupid, is very engrossing, and features familiar French actor Gregory Fitoussi (Mr.Selfridge and Beowulf) as one of the PR and political spin-doctors. Occupied is Norwegian TV’s most expensive ever drama, telling a tale of the Russians invading the

country’s oil facilities as a radical government threatened to turn the tap off in a move to go green. It’s totally incredible but style rules the roost over substance in this series airing on Sky Arts, and I also love the fact the real life Russian Ambassador in Oslo has been irked by it. Of course Russia would never ever invade a country for its own economic or political ends, would it? Finally Britain’s own Dominic Monaghan (forget him in Lost, he was teenager Geoffrey some 20 years ago in Hetty Wainthropp!) plays a New York cop chasing a serial killer in Stockholm in a Swedish-German production, 100 Code, on Sky Atlantic. It’s quirky and different, as well as very graphic in a variety of areas, though to be fair there’s been better Nordic noir thanks to the likes of The Killing and The Bridge, but it’s still good though, and a second series is in production.

Channel 4 Returns to Indian Summers

Starting very soon on Channel 4, Indian Summers returns for a second series. The Courier caught up with the creator and writer, Paul Rutman, who explains how the new series moves the story forward three years to the summer of 1935… We rejoin our characters at boiling point… When we last saw Ralph Whelan, he was coming to terms with a son Adam he never knew about, while keeping alive his political ambitions to rise to the top of the British administration. Now he’s seeing out the current Viceroy the Earl of Willingdon’s (Patrick Malahide) last summer in India, while vying to replace him. Ever the gambler, he invites Adam to live under his own roof as his house-boy, despite the fact he is now married to Madeleine (Olivia Grant), has a daughter by her - and she knows nothing of the connection with Adam. But all his hopes, friendships and assumptions are about

to go up in smoke. Ralph’s Empire is about to come crashing down. Aafrin Dalal was last seen at a crossroads: he was poised to rise in the administration, but at the same time - thanks to his disenchantment with Ralph - agreed to work as a spy, passing intelligence on to violent nationalists. Now, three years on, he is a model Indian civil servant, respected and accepted by his British paymasters. He is their ‘trusted babu’. But he’s also working closely with terrorists. One of them is his lover. The other is plotting to blow up Viceregal Lodge. This is a fatal summer for Aafrin Dalal. As he, his family, and the woman he loves, are put in danger, he will be driven to the edge - and forced, at last, to choose a side. Alice Whelan - last seen embarking on a secret romance with Aafrin - is now married to an English banker Charlie Havistock (Blake Ritson), whom she

claims led her on a whirlwind romance. The truth is simpler and darker: he is the same husband she ran away from three years ago. She was coerced into accepting him back, after he threatened to have their son removed by the court. Outwardly charming, Charlie is a quiet monster: conducting a campaign of psychological abuse against his wife in public and private. As Aafrin and even her brother Ralph seem unable to help her, Alice realises she has to fight for herself As for Cynthia Coffin she has her hands full running the Royal Simla Club and trying to keep her beloved Ralph’s political ambitions on track. But a buried secret, that strikes at the heart of her relationship with Ralph, her son inall-but-name, erupts midway through summer threatening to wreck all her best-laid plans. Politically, these are wilderness times in the story of Independence.

Jinnah and Nehru, future prime ministers of Pakistan and India respectively - are away in Europe. Gandhi is preoccupied with social reform. As for the Brits, parliament has finally passed into law the Government of India Act. Its reforms are expected to bind India to the Empire for generations to come. In reality, it’s a beached whale of an act, the longest piece of legislation in the history of parliament - and so full of compromise and caveats, it’s doomed to be rejected by all and sundry. Many of us know about Mahatma Gandhi’s gospel of non-violence. But Indian nationalism was a broad church. Inspired by legendary revolutionaries like Baghat Singh, who set off a bomb in British India’s Legislative Assembly, violent rebels went on threatening the peace throughout the thirties. The Viceroy, the Earl of Willingdon, was the subject of a number of assassination plots. Season 2 is a fictional story of a few such terrorists, bidding to jump-start the faltering cause of Independence through carnage. Their adventure cuts to the heart of violent resistance - and asks when, if ever, is it right to take up arms for a cause you believe in? As Aafrin, Ralph and Alice are pulled into the vortex, a major character is about to die… There are some new

characters being introduced in series 2, including Charlie Havistock, played by Blake Ritson, who has followed his wife, Alice, out to India to join her and their son Percy. On the surface, Charlie is a cheerful, charming man who is happy to play low status, but it quickly becomes clear that he’s not yet forgiven Alice for walking out on him three years earlier. As the summer rolls on, Charlie becomes an increasingly predatory and abusive presence at Chotipool as his campaign of hatred against his wife intensifies. Kaira Das, played by Sughanda Garg, Aafrin’s fellow freedom-fighter and lover. Whilst sharing Aafrin’s non-violent approach, she also understands that it might ultimately take more extreme action to achieve independence but Kaira holds a deep secret that jeopardises their mission. Naresh Banerjee, played by Arjun Mathur, a handsome, charismatic nationalist who thinks the route to India’s freedom is through violence and he draws Aafrin into a bomb plot that’s set to strike at the heart of British rule. Increasingly paranoid and ruthless in his cause, Naresh pushes his comrade Aafrin’s loyalty to the limits. Lord Hawthorne, played by James Fleet, a whipsmart, if slightly shop-worn,

aristocrat from London who is hotly tipped for the top job of Viceroy, threatening Ralph’s own ambitions. It soon transpires that his visit to Simla isn’t all it seems, but his growing interest in Leena puts in motion a chain of events that reaches into every corner of Simla society. The Maharajah of Amritpur, played by Art Malik, one of the most affluent Stately Princes in India, breezes into Simla to enter negotiations on the upcoming Government of India Bill. Ralph is desperate to carry favour, but the Maharajah is a powerful, slippery man unwilling to give up his immense power. His stay in Simla will prove to be the biggest hurdle for Ralph and his presence will cast a dark shadow on the Whelans’ marriage. Sirene, played by Rachel Griffiths, the Maharaja’s beautiful and resourceful mistress, a sexually liberated woman who is no stranger to Simla. The former governess’ glittering ascent stuns the snobbish local British wives, but Sirene is mindful that this high life won’t last forever. As Ralph goes to work on the Maharajah, his wife Madeleine does all she can to cultivate Sirene. But this exotic couple have other plans for the young Englishman. The second series of Indian Summers, coming soon to Channel 4.

Friday 4th March 2016

Doctor Thorne from Julian Fellowes

Starting on Sunday on ITV, Tom Hollander, Rebecca Front and Ian McShane star in Doctor Thorne, adapted for ITV by Academy and Emmy Award-winning Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes, from one of his favourite novels by Anthony Trollope. The cast also includes many popular favourites like Alison Brie, who played Trudy Campbell in the acclaimed US series Mad Men, Olivier and Tony award winner Richard McCabe (Indian Summers, The Great Fire, Peaky Blinders), Phoebe Nicholls (Jonathan

Strange & Mr Norrell, Fortitude, Downton Abbey), Gwyneth Keyworth (Game of Thrones, Misfits), Kate O’Flynn (No Offence, Ordinary Lies), Edward Franklin (The Brain Hack, Doctors) and introduces two newcomers Stefanie Martini and Harry Richardson. Tom Hollander (Rev, A Poet In New York, Pirates of the Caribbean) takes the role of Dr Thomas Thorne, who lives in the village of Greshamsbury in Barsetshire with his young niece, Mary (Stefanie Martini), a girl blessed with every gift except money. Mary Thorne has grown up

alongside the Gresham family, whose house, Greshamsbury Park, and status dominate the county. With Francis Gresham Senior (Richard McCabe) having frittered away the family fortune, however, his wife, Lady Arabella Gresham, played by Rebecca Front (War and Peace, Humans, Lewis, The Thick of It), their daughters Augusta (Gwyneth Keyworth) and Beatrice (Nell Barlow), and their handsome brother Frank (Harry Richardson) face losing their home. In the first episode this week we go back to 1855.

When Doctor Thorne’s penniless niece, Mary, is excluded from the wedding preparations of her childhood playmate, she probes her uncle for the truth of her birth. She is devastated to learn that she is the illegitimate child of his late brother. It seems she has neither breeding nor fortune. This is a problem, as Mary and the heir to the Greshamsbury Estate, Frank, have fallen in love. Frank is under strict instructions from his over-bearing mother, Lady Arabella, to save his family from financial ruin by marrying money. Frank’s mother schemes to separate the two lovebirds, encouraging her son to woo the wealthy American heiress, Miss Dunstable. Meanwhile, Doctor Thorne acts as both physician and business advisor to railway millionaire, Sir Roger Scatcherd, in whose hands the fate of Greshamsbury lies, and who is rapidly drinking himself into an early grave.

The Story of Cats

Also on ITV on Sunday, a brand new series, The Story of Cats, tells the story of the most popular pet on earth – the cat. The series sets out to offer an eye-opening and entertaining insight into the relationship between big cats in the wild and our domestic pussycats and the feline species’ journey from the jungles of South East Asia to the African savannah and ultimately into our homes.

The Story of Cats features the passion and expertise of cat lovers from South African Kevin Richardson whose faith in his understanding of cat communication enables him to play with lions to the Brit who helps rear the rarest of cats in Thailand. Focusing on the unique characteristics of different types of cat, from the speed of the cheetah to the sociability of the lion, the series demonstrates how similar

our pets are to the fearsome big cats, in much of the familiar behaviour that fascinates, puzzles and amuses cat owners, including the sounds they make, the way they play and their hunting techniques. The series also uncovers just how successful the species is at adapting even in the most extreme landscapes; be it the Hollywood Hills or surviving in temperatures of minus 40 degrees. And, it will shed light on how

domestic cats are still evolving and will in the future become less wild, and more mild. In the first episode and for the first time ever, the programme compares the humble moggy with their big cat cousins, gaining surprising insights into the entire cat family. In Africa, lion whisperer Kevin Richardson proves how similar domestic pets are to the fearsome big cats and why there's more to feline communication than meets the eye. In the thick jungles of South East Asia, the series discovers which sabre-tooth wild cat has given tabbies their gravity defying climbing skills and in Namibia, shows how a strange looking cat called a caracal has given them the ability to jump over three metres and catch birds in flight, inspiring the phrase "put the cat amongst the pigeons". To truly understand the world’s most beloved purring pets, there needs to be an understanding of their wild relatives.

Frontline Doctors: Winter Migrant Crisis

Chris and Xand Van Tulleken - doctors, part-time aid workers and twin brothers - want to see for themselves what conditions are like for migrants fleeing through Europe at the height of winter. In a humanitarian crisis of staggering proportions, Europe is receiving more migrants than at any time since the Second World War. More than a million migrants arrived in Europe last year, with thousands making the perilous crossing to Greece by boat each day. Over two weeks in early January, Chris and Xand travelled to Lesbos in Greece, through the Balkans and on to Berlin and Calais to understand what’s being done on a medical and humanitarian level in response to the current refugee crisis. Spending time with medics, charities and volunteers in camps and clinics, at border crossings and transit points, they wanted to find out what the situation is like on the ground and, wherever possible, lend a hand during the biggest migration crisis of our times. The documentary starts in Mytilene, the capital of Lesbos. Of the million refugees who have come to Europe from Syria and Afghanistan, half have come through this tiny island. Chris and Xand join the volunteers patrolling the coastline and the beaches, helping those who have just landed before they are ferried by UN bus to a registration camp. At the registration camp, Xand visits a clinic and meets some of those being treated by volunteer doctors before they continue their journey. Frostbite, injury from sea urchins, trenchfoot

and respiratory and psychological problems are prevalent. Xand heads to Athens to follow the migrants' route to mainland Europe. He meets Qusai, a Syrian man with brittle bone disease whose bones can easily fracture, who survived the boat journey from Turkey, despite having his wheelchair taken by people smugglers. Chris travels ahead to the next stages of the migrant journey, the GreekMacedonian border and then on to the SerbianMacedonian border where around 2,000 people are arriving per day - with some having to walk four kilometres through snow to be registered at a Serbian camp. He then journeys to Berlin to visit a registration centre where migrants begin the asylum process and a former airport - Templehof - that has been converted into emergency shelters for the thousands of recent arrivals. The key destination for migrants who want to reach the UK is Calais. Xand visits a clinic run by volunteer doctors to see how the lack of hygiene and infrastructure and overcrowding in the camp known as ‘the Jungle’ are impacting the health of the thousands of people who have ended up here. In Dunkirk, on the coast of northern France, Xand visits Europe’s newest migrant camp and a makeshift clinic run by a medical charity. The camp only sprung up in the last few months but Xand says it is has the worst conditions he has ever seen. After two weeks on the migrant trail Chris meets up with Xand in Calais to reflect on what they have seen, before travelling back to the UK.

Comedy Playhouse: Broken Biscuits

Broken Biscuits is a funny, touching and inventive comedy which will debut as part of the BBC Comedy Playhouse season. The comedy follows five disparate groups of people, friends, partners and parents, observing their everyday lives as their little stories unfold. There’s Milton (Timothy West) and Pearl (Stephanie Cole), an older couple who have an obsession with their son’s wife and their smoke

alarm. Brenda (Alison Steadman) and Roger (Alun Armstrong) take great pride in running their B&B the ‘Brenroger.' Teenager Raz (Gurjeet Singh) dreams of independence from his mum Mabel (Lisa Millett), who has a rather unsavoury relationship with partner ‘Sid the Suitcase’ (Ben Crompton) and Martin (Warren Brown), is looking for love whilst caring for his disabled brother, Tom (Christopher John Slater).

Friday 4th March 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Claimed and Shamed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

07:15 Heir Hunters 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Claimed and Shamed 09:15 The MasterChef: Professionals 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis: Davis Cup 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Too Much TV

Clare Cycling 20:00 Balding and special guest 20:30 A Question of Sport Sir Chris Hoy present live Sue Barker hosts another coverage of day three of the edition of the lighthearted Track World Cycling sports quiz from Championships London 21:00 EastEnders A worried Patrick learns of 21:30 Gardeners’ World Denise’s intentions With spring just around the Celebrity corner, Monty Don sets out 21:30 Jimmy his plans for the growing Mastermind McKenna, Gillian Joseph, season at Longmeadow and Campbell Dallas Russell Kane take on the 22:00 Land of Hope and famous black chair Glory - British Country Life For almost 120 years, 22:00 Shetland In the last Country Life magazine has episode of the series, the been aspiring to capture the investigation reaches its elusive soul of the British final stages. Detective Inspector Perez and his countryside. Jane Treays team discover the person spent a year filming with the responsible for the deaths magazine, exploring the of Robbie Morton and lives of those who have Michael Thompson is closer been bred into the land to home than any of them thought 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 00:00 Artsnight 00:35 Film 23:00 News 23:35 Comedy Leave to Remain (15) 02:00 Playhouse 00:05 Catherine Question Time 03:00 The Tate’s Nan 00:35 The Not So Secret Life of the Celebrity Apprentice USA 03:25 Weather for the Manic Depressive: 10 Years on 04:00 This is BBC Two Week Ahead 03:30 News

Morning Good 07:00 Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Jeremy Kyle’s Emergency Room 16:00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Zak hopes to make amends 20:30 Coronation Street Bethany’s day goes from bad to worse 21:00 Best Walks with a View with Julia Bradbury From the Domesday village of Symondsbury, the expert walker follows the ancient in-land drovers route, including a climb up the iconic Colmer’s Hill 21:30 Coronation Street Sarah finds an ally in Kylie 22:00 Mr Selfridge Special in are preparations progress to celebrate the of anniversary 20th Selfridges. Harry works hard to break the suppliers’ embargo of Whiteleys, but Mae is avoiding him. A stoic Mardle is struggling to copewith her loss and Meryl steps in to help 23:40 News 23:00 Benidorm 00:10 Film - The Man with the Golden Gun (PG) 02:25 Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, She Wrote 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Car SOS 12:00 Undercover Boss Canada 13:00 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A New Life in the Sun 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:30 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast Rapper Tinie Tempah learns to cook his favourite Nigerian street food classic, Suya - a delicious spicy beef kebab 21:30 Food Unwrapped In Spain, Matt Tebbutt finds out how glacé cherries are made, and it takes his breath away, but not in a good way! 22:00 Gogglebox Britain’s favourite opinionated TV viewers share their sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s biggest and best shows 23:00 The Last Leg 00:05 Raised by Wolves 00:40 Rude Tube 01:40 Virtually Famous 02:20 Film Coming to America (15) 04:20 Location, Location, Location 05:15 Beat My Build

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Can’t Pay? Benefits Special 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Til Death Do Us Part 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 The Gadget Show Jon tests a gadget which wants to replace both your laptop and tablet, Ortis and Amy clean up in the motor trade, and Yue Xu has a gander at CES’s best bits 21:00 That’s So1990 Series that looks back on different years from the 1980s and 90s via the news, pop and TV archives 22:00 NCIS: New Orleans The team have to investigate one of their own kind when a blogger is killed who had called into question the integrity of a Navy SEAL 22:55 NCIS 23:50 NCIS: Los Angeles 00:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 01:15 Super Casino 04:10 I Want That Wedding 05:00 Now That’s Funny 05:45 House Doctor

07:00 Peter Hurst, 10:00 Trev Massey, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:10 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 10:00 You’ve Been Framed 10:35 Catchphrase 11:15 Dinner Date 12:15 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 19:50 The Hot Desk 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - That Awkward Moment (15) 00:00 Family Guy 01:00 American Dad

07:00 Doctor in the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Wycliffe 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:45 In Loving Memory 18:15 On the Buses 18:50Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 20:55 Sherlock Holmes 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:15 Film - Changeling (15) 03:40 Long Lost Family

07:00 Movies Now 07:10 Minder 08:10 The Chase 09:05 The Professionals 10:10 The Sweeney 11:10 Magnum, PI 12:10 Pawn Stars 12:45 Darts: UK Open 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 The Car Chasers 20:00 Darts: UK Open 00:00 Film - Kull the Conqueror (15) 02:05 Film - How I Spent My Summer Vacation (15) 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY - BRITISH COUNTRY LIFE

SOAPS

straight that there isn’t anything going on between them.

Kylie break the news to Max that he’s soon to have a half-brother.

Callum’s baby in the first place.

In Emmerdale Megan is now at the hospital. Sam assures her that she’ll be the best mum in the world and kisses her, pulling away just before Jai arrives. Jai is unaware of what he’s just missed, but Megan reels from what she has just done. She’s left nervous about how she’s going to set Sam

Meanwhile, Emma’s heart sinks when she sees bruises on April’s arm. She asks where she got them from, but April evades the question and Emma is concerned when she doesn’t want Marlon or Carly to know. Carly panics that April is missing as Emma ushers her back to the café. Emma is on high alert as she watches Carly with April. In Coronation Street, During Sarah’s baby scan, the midwife reveals that she’s having a boy. Back at home, the family prepare for Sarah’s baby shower and David and

BBC2 22.00 For almost 120 years, the magazine Country Life has been aspiring to capture the elusive soul of the British countryside from muddy fields to stately homes. Director Jane Treays spends a year filming with the magazine, exploring the lives of those who have been bred into the land, inherited it or have simply bought into its

Ushering the guests out, Sarah turns on Bethany, demanding to know what’s got into her...

Bethany arrives late having been set upon by a gang of school bullies, calling her a ‘skank’ and an unwanted child. As Sarah demands to know where she’s been, an upset Bethany loses her temper. Hurling the baby cake at the wall, she tells Sarah the whole thing is a farce as she never wanted

In the second episode, Bethany continues to lash out, suggesting that Sarah should put the baby up for adoption as she’s a terrible mother. Sarah is left hurt, while Todd finds an upset Bethany and offers a shoulder to cry on. She’s about to tell Todd about the bullying, but she’s thwarted when Jason arrives. Whilst Kylie scrapes cake off the wall, Sarah frets about Bethany as she’s convinced there is more to

dreams. From a `girl in pearls’ shoot in Yorkshire, to a historic mansion in Dorset, via Lindisfarne castle and a family farm in Somerset, Treays captures the glory and eccentricity of the men and women who live the rural life. this than a teenage strop. Bethany returns and tells Sarah how sorry she is. Sarah hugs her tightly. As she heads home, Bethany receives an abusive text from the bully. Her phone then beeps again and again with one abusive text after another. Bethany sobs her heart out. In Eastenders, Denise prepares to meet with Lucas’s governor, but Patrick becomes suspicious about what’s going on. His worst fears are confirmed when he speaks to Shirley and Kathy. As Denise and Jordan are about to leave, a fuming Patrick storms in and confronts the pair about their

intentions. Can Patrick convince Denise otherwise? Meanwhile, Claudette’s latest plan starts to fall apart when Vincent realises that he might want the money for something else, sparking a row. Claudette pushes on with her plan regardless and arranges to meet her blackmailer on Mother’s Day, but what will she have in store?

Saturday 5th March

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Mary Berry’s Foolproof Cooking 13:00 News 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Cycling: Track World Championships Highlights 15:00 Tennis: Davis Cup 17:30 Final Score 18:20 Dynamo: Magician Impossible 18:50 News 19:10 The Getaway Car

07:05 Film - After Tonight The Film 08:15 Xperiment Quatermass (PG) 09:35 Film - Dean Spanley (U) 11:10 Homes Under the Hammer 12:10 Natural World 13:00 Rick Stein’s India 14:00 The Best Dishes Ever 14:30 Talking Pictures 15:05 Film - Notorious (U) 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Tennis: Davis Cup 18:30 Flog It 19:00 Gardeners’ World 19:30 Back in Time for the 20:00 The Voice UK In a Weekend nail-biting final battle, the remaining artists of each 20:30 Queen Victoria’s team take to the stage to Children The second secure their places in the episode focuses on the next round. Will they be monarch’s relationship with able to convince the coach- her daughters after the death of Prince Albert, es that they have what it takes to be this year’s win- 21:30 Dad’s Army Walker ner of The Voice UK? arranges for Jones to get some off-ration pigeons 22:00 Casualty It’s the but did they come from aftermath, and Lofty has to Trafalgar Square? decide what to say in his statement. With the full sup- 22:00 Stag The ever-diminport of his friends, what will ishing group are joined by a suspicious latecomer, who he decide? divides loyalties and leads them deeper into danger 22:50 The National Lottery Live 23:00 News 23:20 23:00 Dom Film Match of the Day 00:50 Hemingway (15) 00:30 Line Film - The Recruit (12) of Duty 02:30 Film 02:40 Weather for the Lebanon (15) 03:55 This is BBC Two Week Ahead 02:45 News

07:15 King of Queens 08:05 Freerider World Tour 08:30 Mobil 1 The Grid 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 The Morning Line 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Superhumans Show 12:30 The Simpsons 13:30 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD 14:30 Racing: Doncaster and Newbury 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:35 News 20:00 Great Canal Journeys Timothy and Prunella travel along the Forth and Clyde Canal and the Union Canal 21:00 Penelope Keith’s Hidden Villages Penelope travels across the South Downs and The Weald of Sussex and Kent

22:00 Film - The Bourne Legacy (12) As the CIA’s covert operations are compromised and details are leaked to the media, intelligence chiefs decide to cut their losses and kill every agent testing their top 23:00 The Jonathan Ross secret genetic experiment Show 00:00 News 00:20 Film - Never Say Never 00:40 Film - Seven Again (PG) 02:35 Psychopaths (15) 02:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, Hollyoaks Omnibus 04:50 She Wrote 04:50 ITV Selling Houses with Nightscreen Amanda Lamb 21:30 Take Me Out Paddy offers one last group of men the chance to enter the `love lift’ and win the hearts of his 30 single ladies

07:00 Milkshake 10:30 The Saturday Show Live 12:30 Film - Star Trek: The Motion Picture (U) 15:00 Criminally Funny: Caught in the Act 16:00 Now That’s Funny 17:00 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 18:00 Grannies Make You Laugh Out Loud 19:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away

13:45 The Almost Impossible Gameshow 14:45 Catchphrase 15:25 Scorpion 16:20 Film Beethoven’s 2nd (U) 18:10 Film - Despicable Me 2 (U) 20:10 Film - Hulk (12) 23:00 Take Me Out: The Gossip 00:00 Family Guy

20:00 World War II in Colour In spring 1943, the Pacific war reached a turning point, America went on the offensive against Japan with a two-pronged attack

ITV3

21:00 The Gadget Show Jon tests a gadget which wants to replace both your laptop and tablet

13:25 A Touch of Frost 15:30 Wycliffe 16:45 Film Jane Eyre (PG) 19:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:10 Blue Murder 02:40 Doctor in the House ITV4

21:55 News National and international news 22:00 The Championship Extended highlights of the weekend’s matches, including Burnley v Blackburn Rovers, Bristol City v Cardiff City and Sheffield Wednesday v Rotherham United 23:00 Goal Rush 23:30 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 01:15 Super Casino

12:35 Pawn Stars 13:30 Darts: UK Open 18:00 Storage Wars Texas 19:00 Pawn Stars 20:00 Darts: UK Open 00:00 Film - The Hitcher (15) 01:40 Hell on Wheels (PG)

09:00 The Weekend Mix, 12:00 Suzy G, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Sunday 6th March 07:00 Breakfast 08:25 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 News 13:30 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Tennis: Davis Cup 17:30 Escape to the Country 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 Nature’s Miracle Orphans 19:35 News 20:00 Countryfile Anita Rani and John Craven explore Northern Ireland 21:00 Call the Midwife Dr Turner is horrified to realise he may be partly to blame as the cause of the recent rise in birth deformities comes to light, and tries to prevent further cases 22:00 The Night Manager While he continues to recuperate in Roper’s villa, Pine starts to dig up secrets about the other members of the household 23:00 News 23:30 Match of the Day 2 00:35 Women’s Football: Germany v England 01:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:50 News

07:00 A to Z of TV Gardening 07:45 Great British Garden Revival 08:45 An Island Parish 09:15 Gardeners’ World 09:45 Countryfile 10:45 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:15 The Best Dishes Ever 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Triathlon: World Series - Abu Dhabi Highlights 15:00 Cycling: Championships World 19:00 Flog It

07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 07:50 Share a Story 07:55 Sooty 08:05 Super 4 08:15 Looped 08:30 Scrambled 08:35 Mr Bean 08:50 Horrid Henry 09:10 Nerds and Monsters 09:30 Bear Grylls Survival School 10:05 Tom and Jerry 10:25 News 10:30 Murder, She Wrote 11:25 Jeremy Kyle 13:30 News 13:40 Jeremy Kyle 14:40 Judge Rinder 15:45 Big Star’s Little Star 20:00 Who’s the Boss? 16:45 Off Their Rockers The boss of a chocolate 17:15 Film - Moonraker manufacturer gives his (PG) 19:35 News entire workforce the power to decide who will become 20:00 Beowulf: Return to its new business develop- the Shieldlands With susment manager picion over her brother mounting, Rheda is eager 21:00 Steve Backshall’s to discredit Beowulf’s accuMountain sations Extreme Challenge The naturalist leads a team of rock 21:00 The Story of Cats across Wildlife series comparing climbers the behaviour of domestic Venezuela’s tepuis felines to big cats in the wild 22:00 Let’s Play Darts for Sports Relief 2016 Gabby 22:00 Doctor Thorne A Logan hosts the semi-final doctor is forced to tell his the secrets of her of the contest in which big niece when she is barred names from the world of past from attending her best darts join forces with friend’s wedding celebrities in a knockout tournament 23:00 News 23:20 Brits Behind Bars 00:15 Rugby 23:00 Thirteen 00:00 The Highlights 01:15 People v OJ Simpson: Jackpot247 04:00 ITV American Crime Story Nightscreen

07:15 King of Queens 07:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 Frasier 09:30 The Simpsons 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Simpsons 14:00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 15:00 Film - Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (U) 17:00 Film - Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (PG) 19:15 News 19:30 The Secret Life of the Zoo 20:30 The Jump It’s the grand final. The fearless celebrities take on another winter sporting event, with one of them set to be crowned The Jump Champion 2016

07:00 Milkshake 11:30 The Championship 12:35 Goal Rush 12:55 Police Interceptors 13:55 The True Story 14:50 Film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (15) 16:55 Film Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (PG) 19:00 Film - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (PG)

13:50 Take Me Out: The Gossip 14:55 Film - Back to the Future Part II (PG) 17:05 Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 18:40 Catchphrase 19:40 Film - Back to the Future Part III (PG) 22:00 Ibiza Weekender 23:00 Family Guy 23:30 Bordertown 00:00 Family Guy

21:10 Penn and Teller From the Penn & Teller Theater in Las Vegas, the magicians challenge guest illusionists to outwit them with a mind-boggling trick

ITV3

21:55 News National and international news

22:00 Film - American Hustle (15) A con man, Irving Rosenfeld, along with his seductive partner Sydney Prosser, is forced to work for a wild FBI agent, Richie DiMaso, who pushes them into a world of Jersey powerbrokers and mafia

22:00 Film - Grown Ups 2 (12) After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, Lenny finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed party crashers sometimes crazy follows you

00:40 Film - An Officer and a Gentleman (15) 02:55 The Secret Life of the Pub 03:50 Come Dine with Me

00:05 Film - You, Me and Dupree (15) 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 The Great British Benefits Handout

12:35 Film - Jane Eyre (PG) 14:45 Wycliffe 15:55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 17:55 Margery and Gladys 20:00 Midsomer Murders 22:00 Carry On Forever 23:00 Mrs Biggs 00:35 Film - Something’s Gotta Give (12) ITV4 12:45 The Classic Car Show 13:45 Darts: UK Open 18:00 Storage Wars Texas 18:55 The Car Chasers 20:00 Darts: UK Open 00:00 Film - Smokin’ Aces (18) 02:10 Ax Men

09:00 The Weekend Mix, 12:00 Suzy G, 15:00 Tony De Love

8 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Claimed and Shamed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders Mick attempts to bring his family back together for Mother’s Day 21:30 Panorama Jane Corbin travels to Recife in Brazil to investigate the virus that is thought to be behind an epidemic of cases of microcephaly 22:00 Frontline Doctors: Winter Migrant Crisis Doctors, twins and parttime aid workers Chris and Xand van Tulleken want to see for themselves what conditions are like for migrants fleeing through Europe at the height of winter 23:00 News 23:45 Cuckoo 00:15 Have I Got Old News for You 00:45 Live at the Apollo 01:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:35 News

Monday 7th March 1965 07:15 Heir Hunters 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Claimed and Shamed 09:15 Emergency Rescue Down Under 09:45 Mary Berry’s Foolproof Cooking 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Chef’s Protege 14:30 Portillo’s State Secrets 15:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:50 The Life of Mammals 17:50 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 18:20 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Too Much TV 20:00 This Farming Life Documentary filmed over the course of a year following life on five farms around Scotland 21:00 University Challenge Quiz 21:30 Mary Berry’s Foolproof Cooking Mary demonstrates dishes that are perfect for a party

22:00 The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story Prosecutor Marcia Clark faces negative feedback while differing goals divide the defence ‘dream team’ as preliminary hearings and arduous jury selection get underway

22:00 Davina Mccall: Life at the Extreme Davina travels to the Azores in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, home to some of the world’s deepest-diving creatures including whales. She investigates how animals cope with the pressures of diving - particularly the air-breathing animals - and begins by swimming with a school of dolphins

22:50 QI XL 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Steve Backshall’s Extreme Mountain Challenge 01:15 Phone Shop Idol 01:45 The Celebrity Apprentice USA

23:00 News 23:45 The Agenda 00:25 The Jonathan Ross Show 01:25 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Kyle 04:55 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Car SOS 12:00 Undercover Boss Canada 13:00 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A New Life in the Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Dispatches As the Government looks to extend the right-to-buy to Britain’s 13 million housing association tenants, this programme examines who the winners and losers will be 21:30 Food Unwrapped Kate finds out how cheap red wine is made 22:00 Royal Navy School Going through exactly the same training as the men, the women come up against HMS Raleigh’s toughest physical test 23:00 Fresh Meat 23:50 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:55 24 Hours in A and E 01:55 Secrets of the Salon 02:45 The Last Leg 03:40 Grand Designs 04:40 Ultimate Dealer 05:05 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: New Orleans 16:15 Film - Smokescreen (15) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 FIA World Rally C h a m p i o n s h i p Highlights Highlights of the third stage of the World Rally Championship from Mexico 21:00 Carry on Caravanning Light-hearted documentary profiling some of the estimated one million caravan owners in UK 22:00 The X Files A younger version of Mulder and Scully apply to our heroes for help in an effort to communicate with a terrorist in a coma in an effort to prevent other members of his cell from carrying out a future attack

Goldie the eagle evades capture again A golden eagle which escaped from Regent's Park Zoo is still on the loose after outsmarting his keepers' latest attempts to recapture him. Goldie the Eagle escaped from the central London zoo eight days ago and has been dodging his captors ever since. He has spent most of the past week flying round the park - although he has also been spotted in Tottenham Court Road, Euston and Camden Town. A crowd of about a thousand gathered in Regents Park today to watch the bird being chased by keepers, police, firefighters and even a BBC reporter.

23:00 Gotham 23:55 NCIS 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 Super Casino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 Wildlife SOS

07:00 Peter Hurst, 10:00 Trev Massey, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:10 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 Coronation Street 10:35 Catchphrase 11:15 Dinner Date 12:15 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Family Guy 22:30 Bordertown 23:00 Family Guy 23:30 American Dad 00:30 The Cleveland Show

07:00 Doctor in the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Wycliffe 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 In Loving Memory 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:05 Wycliffe

07:00 Hat-Trick Heroes 07:15 Magnum, PI 08:05 The Chase 08:55 The Professionals 10:00 The Sweeney 11:00 Ax Men 12:00 The Chase 13:00 The Professionals 14:00 Storage Wars 15:00 The Car Chasers 16:00 Magnum, PI 17:00 The Sweeney 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 Storage Wars Texas 20:00 Rugby Highlights 21:00 Ax Men 22:00 Film - Kull the Conqueror (15) 00:05 Bundesliga

SOAPS

Later, Bob sees the bruises on April’s arms and asks her if someone has been hitting her. She insists that she fell over and that it has nothing to do with Carly. In the end, Emma isn’t happy that Marlon is not taking the matter any further and decides to ring social services herself.

doing some dodgy deal selling Jason’s tools from under his nose. Michael resolves to have it out with him.

In Emmerdale, Emma raises her concerns about April’s bruises to James and Ross, claiming that Carly could be responsible. Soon afterwards, Marlon is alarmed when Ross tells him there’s a chance that Carly has hurt April. Carly is angry when Marlon accuses her, but he’s shocked by how much she overreacts.

Also today, Megan tells Jai that he can be involved in the baby’s life on the condition he stays away from Leyla. In Coronation Street, Andy is suspicious when he overhears Phelan on the phone to a mate, flogging him some of Jason’s tools. Andy reports back to Michael that Phelan is

Finding Phelan alone in the builders’ yard, Michael confronts him over Jason’s tools and his unhealthy interest in Eileen. Phelan laughs in his face, but as Michael turns to leave, events take a more serious twist...

FRONTLINE DOCTORS: WINTER MIGRANT CRISIS BBC1 22.00 Doctors, twins and parttime aid workers Chris and Xand van Tulleken want to see for themselves what conditions are like for migrants fleeing through Europe at the height of winter. They travel to Lesbos in Greece, through the Balkans and Jason is horrified to find Michael lying motionless at the bottom of the stairs. Feigning concern, Phelan phones an ambulance. In the hospital, Eileen thanks Phelan for coming to Michael’s rescue. When Michael spots Phelan at his bedside, he suffers further chest pains, before revealing how Andy overheard Phelan flogging Jason’s tools. Phelan storms out, then returns to the hospital and presents Jason with the tools, explaining how he didn’t steal them but merely had them polished as a favour.

In the second episode,

As Eileen tells Michael that he needs to rein in his

on to Berlin and Calais, spending time with medics, charities and volunteers in camps and clinics to explore what is being done on a medical and humanitarian level in response to the current refugee crisis. paranoia, will Eileen, Jason and Andy swallow Phelan’s lies? In Eastenders, Mother’s Day has arrived on Albert Square, but Claudette is distracted by her plan to deal with Gavin. She arranges a family lunch to get everyone out of the house, then deals with Gavin when he arrives and demands his money. Despite Claudette’s best efforts to deal with the situation, Gavin remains insistent on getting his money. His words hit a nerve with Claudette, sending her over the edge. In the end, she resorts to drastic measures to solve her problems and smacks Gavin on the

head with a candelabra...

Meanwhile, when Lee admits that he’s already having issues at The Rat, Mick offers him his job at The Vic back. Later, Nancy reluctantly attends Linda’s Mother’s Day meal at The Vic and even starts to build bridges with Lee again. However, another argument soon follows when Babe lets slip that Lee has already quit his job at The Rat.

Tuesday 8th March 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Claimed and Shamed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders As shocking truths come to light, all hell breaks loose 21:00 Holby City Ric battles to stay in control when operating on his muchloved old school teacher 22:00 Happy Valley Daniel suspects somebody at school might be responsible for Ryan’s new-found interest in Tommy, and tries to explain that he wasn’t really a dad to him, while, despite Sean protesting his innocence, Jodie and John receive permission to charge him with all of the murders 23:00 News 23:45 Life and Death Row 00:45 Film Forget Me Not (15) 02:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:25 News

07:15 Heir Hunters 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Claimed and Shamed 09:15 Emergency Rescue Down Under 09:45 Great British Railway Journeys 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 Coast 15:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:50 The Life of Mammals 17:50 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 18:20 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Too Much TV 20:00 This Farming Life George and Sybil set off to gather in their sheep 21:00 Back in Time for the Weekend The AshbyHawkins family discovers what the future might hold for people’s free time 22:00 Who’s the Boss? Brewery BrewDog, decides to let up to 200 members of his team decide which of three potential regional area managers to hire 23:00 Scrappers 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Let’s Play Darts for Sports Relief 2016 01:15 Back in Time for the Weekend 02:15 MasterChef: The Professionals 03:15 This is BBC Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Jeremy Kyle’s Emergency Room 16:00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Marlon gets a visit from social services 20:30 The Inspectors are Coming In Aberdeen, the inspectors are trying to track down a mystery dog fouling felon. Meanwhile, the team in Newham come up against a spate of people urinating in public 21:00 It’s Not Rocket Science Romesh is dangled above a pit of hungry crocodiles, with only a humble household vacuum cleaner to help save his life 22:00 Frustrated Britain: Caught on Camera This programme features Britain’s most famous road rage driver, a selection of celebrities and politicians losing the plot, and a man who reckons he has found the cure for all this anger and frustration 23:00 News 23:40 Davina Mccall: Life at the Extreme 00:40 The Cube 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Car SOS 12:00 Undercover Boss Canada 13:00 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A New Life in the Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 The Secret Life of the Zoo There’s a surprise birth in the orangutan house, and older sibling Tuti has to fend for herself and set out on the road to independence 22:00 Born to be Different The second of two new episodes of the long-running project following remarkable children growing up with disabilities 23:00 Gogglebox 00:05 Very British Problems 01:05 PokerstarsCom and Monte-Carlo Casino EPT Grand Final 02:00 Kotv Boxing 02:30 Gillette World Sport 02:55 Mobil 1 The Grid 03:25 Freerider World Tour 03:50 Ultimate Dealer 04:20 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 05:15 Location, Location, Location

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Kidnapped: The Search for Tommy 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies Inspector Herchy rescues four very hungry puppies from a home that is unable to cope 21:00 Britain’s Horror Homes Cameras focus on Paul and Kim, a couple whose Northern Ireland home was invaded by a colony of breeding rats 22:00 Benefits by the Sea: Jaywick The series following the daily lives of residents of the Jaywick estate in Essex, England’s most deprived town, returns, showing the reality of life on the breadline 23:00 The Best of Bad TV 00:00 Penn and Teller 00:55 A and E: When Patients Attack 01:50 Tattoo Disasters: UK 02:15 Super Casino

07:00 Peter Hurst, 10:00 Trev Massey, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:10 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 Coronation Street 10:35 Catchphrase 11:15 Dinner Date 12:15 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 Ultimate You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - Quantum of Solace (12) 00:10 Family Guy 00:40 Family Guy

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Marlon is shocked when a social worker arrives to discuss the April situation. Soon afterwards, Carly makes a big admission to Marlon over her past, finally admitting that she had a son called Billy, who died of Sudden Unexplained Infant Death. She asks Marlon to keep it a secret, explaining that Bob

07:00 Doctor in the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Wycliffe 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 In Loving Memory 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:00 Wycliffe 02:05 Where the Heart is 03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping

07:00 Goals of the 70’s 07:10 Magnum, PI 08:10 The Chase 09:10 The Professionals 10:10 The Sweeney 11:10 Ax Men 12:15 The Chase 13:15 Pawn Stars 13:45 Snooker: World Grand Prix Live 18:15 Storage Wars 18:45 Car Chasers 19:45 Snooker: World Grand Prix Live 00:15 Film - Death Race (15) 02:25 Ax Men 03:30 Movies Now 03:40 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

BACK IN TIME FOR THE WEEKEND

doesn’t even know.

return later today. However, Chas and Cain later arrive home from the prison without her, not knowing where she is.

hell breaks loose once the truth comes out...

Soon afterwards, Carly and Marlon are both shocked when April walks in and finally admits who hurt her. Meanwhile, Leo’s new teaching assistant is a man called Chris, so Rhona decides to flirt outrageously with him. When Chris goes, Paddy questions Rhona’s behaviour towards him and she finally cracks, letting out her feelings. Later at home, Paddy and Rhona’s relationship reaches make or break time. Could this be the end when Paddy walks away? Elsewhere, Cain and Moira prepare for Charity’s

BBC2 21.00 The Ashby-Hawkins family discovers what the future might hold for people’s free time. As they reflect on their time-travelling experience, they also reveal how living in the past has changed, how they feel about the present and their hopes for the future. The family have some robotic housework help, and Steph and Rob try a futuristic gym fad,

Also today, Rakesh’s secrecy continues, while Sam is heartbroken when he overhears Megan telling Vanessa that they’ll never be anything more than friends. In Eastenders, Claudette is in shock over her own actions after violently attacking Gavin, but is this the end of him? When Vincent arrives on the scene, Claudette tries to cover but her son soon realises that there is much more to her story. He questions his mum and all

Meanwhile, Jordan begs Denise to come with him to get Lucas, but they’re interrupted by Libby, who has realised that something is going on. Denise insists everything is fine, but as she leaves for the family meal, she secretly sticks a note on to her bag telling her of Jordan’s plan. Unfortunately, Libby fails to notice it.

`Immersive Fitness’. Meanwhile, Seth embraces some cuttingedge technology that takes him away from using screens, and Daisy tries a new-age camera that records her day without cutting her off from her friends. Denise does agree to leave with Jordan, but he’s no fool and soon realises that she’s just stalling. With his plan to reunite the family falling apart, Jordan snaps. Denise stands her ground and warns him not to get caught up with Lucas, but will Jordan listen?

operating on his muchloved old school teacher, while a feisty young patient reminds him of his younger self.

Elsewhere, Ollie’s high chair has been knocked over in the fight, but fortunately he seems fine. Despite the worrying nearmiss, Lee and Nancy continue to clash badly. Mick totally snaps, smashes a chair on the floor and throws the pair out of The Vic.

Serena’s head over heels in love with Robbie but feels nervous about introducing him to her family.

In Holby City, Ric battles to stay in control when

Mo is left reeling when she finds out she didn’t get the consultant’s job and realises that it’s gone to an old acquaintance of Jac’s.

CODE CRACKER

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD

Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 9 represents K and 15 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Inexpensive (5) 4 Utilises (4) 9 Organise (7) 10 Expel (5) 11 Regret (3) 12 African country (5) 14 Outdoor sitting area (5) 15 Pivotal (5) 16 Go wrong (4) 18 Simple (4) 20 Egg-shaped fruits (5) 22 Japanese port (5) 23 Turnip-like vegetable (5) 25 Fasten (3) 26 Japanese dish (5) 27 Trap (7)

29 Get rid of (4) 30 Sediment (5) Down 1 Place of Christian worship (6) 2 Ahead of schedule (5) 3 Cooking vessel (3) 5 Wide-awake (9) 6 Detectives (7) 7 Fairground ride (6,5) 8 Crouch (5) 13 Garrulous (9) 17 Collects (7) 19 Brag (5) 21 Postpones (6) 24 Avoid (5) 28 Unhappy (3)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1/6 Put off, 3 Basic, 8 Tbilisi, 9 Clean, 10 Lends, 11 Explain, 12 Pardon, 14 Stable, 17 Replica, 19 Singe, 21 Hello, 22 Applied, 23/25 Sea god, 24 Scary. Down: 1 Petal, 2 Thinner, 3 Bliss, 4 Shiver, 5 Cockpit, 6 Omega, 7 Finance, 12 Perches, 13 Ominous, 15 Bunting, 16 Sahara, 18 Polka, 19 Soppy, 20 Ended.

Scribble Pad

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 Right, for example, I'm the key to the government (6) 8 I enter the rearranged salon to find the girl (6) 9 Global institution's taken over this island (4) 10 Conclusive argument from a wrestler? (8) 11 Fate badly needs it (7) 13 Hotel next to the river is home (5) 15 Sap died an unknown character (5) 17 English paella is cooked with beer (4,3) 20 Take unawares and dismiss (5,3) 21 Ethereal but confusing year (4) 22 Diggers are children, it's said (6) 23 Fungus spoilt a cigar (6)

Down 1 Watch out for secondrate merchandise (6) 2 New Zealander seen in a khaki windcheater (4) 3 Iced gin mixture before take-off helps the plane fly better in winter! (2-5) 4 Silent diplomacy includes Italy (5) 5 Reveal the princess's near (8) 6 Ron and Les mix, being people who don't mix (6) 12 Excavator's plate (8) 14 Showing favouritism, section one has a likely leader (7) 16 Arkansas sailor in charge of language (6) 18 English poet not quite frolicking (6) 19 English composer possibly lost by the hospital (5) 21 Sad to say, a young girl never finishes (4) Down 1 Word of warning (6) 2 Chinese gooseberry (4) 3 Becoming free of frost (25) 4 Unspoken but implied (5) 5 Make known (8) 6 Individualists (6) 12 Wooden platter on which food is served (8) 14 Incomplete (7) 16 Semitic language (6) 18 English poet (6) 19 British composer (5) 21 By bad luck (4)

STANDARD CLUES Across 7 Government (6) 8 Elvis Costello 1977 hit (6) 9 Indonesian island (4) 10 Conclusive argument (8) 11 Designate beforehand (7) 13 Dwelling place (5) 15 Rubber material (5) 17 Amber-coloured beer (4,3) 20 Trap (5,3) 21 Eagle's nest (4) 22 Coal workers (6) 23 Edible fungus (6) Last weeks Solution Across:1 Winged, 5 Butter, 8 Goya, 9 Shameful, 10 Lipstick, 11 Trek, 12 Dear me, 14 Depict, 16 Snow, 18 Spurious, 20 Incident, 21 Shoe, 22 Assess, 23 Dressy. Down: 2 Idolise, 3 Gnats, 4 Dislike, 5 Black, 6 Treetop, 7 Educe, 13 Rawhide, 14 Doubted, 15 Coupons, 17 Nones, 18 Smees, 19 Issue.

Wordsearch

The aim of our Word Search puzzle is to find all the 33 words listed below hidden within the puzzle.

Armagh

Dundee

Liverpool

St Davids

Bangor

Durham

Newry

Sunderland

Bath

Ely

Norwich

Swansea

Belfast

Exeter

Oxford

Truro

Bristol

Glasgow

Ripon

Wells

Cardiff

Leeds

Salford

Worcester

Chester

Lichfield

Salisbury

York

Derby

Lincoln

St Albans

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Mitos (5) 4 Bald (person, head) (5) 8 Rosary (7) 9 Sombra (zona sin sol) (5) 10 Ear (anatomical) (5) 11 Overcoats (garments) (7) 12 Sagrado (lugar, libro) (6) 14 Risk (6) 18 Zanahorias (7) 20 They (f) (5) 22 Delante (5) 23 Wire (metal) (7) 24 Fright (sudden fear) (5)

25 Puertas (5) Down 1 Espejos (7) 2 Gusto (sentido) (5) 3 Apellido (7) 4 To crash (cars, trains) (6) 5 Perdedor (5) 6 Naranjas (7) 7 Camas (muebles) (4) 13 Alfombras (7) 15 Islandia (7) 16 Ostras (7) 17 Tin (ore) (6) 18 Carbón (4) 19 Waves (in sea, lake) (5) 21 Book (5)

11 Across 1 In the northern hemisphere usually considered the second month of autumn (7) 5 1988 American action film that follows off-duty NYPD officer John McClane (Bruce Willis) as he takes on a group of highly organised criminals led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) (3,4) 9 Very large hairy spider found chiefly in tropical and subtropical America, some kinds of which are able to catch small lizards, frogs and birds (9) 10 Long running British children's comic that has featured icon characters like: Dennis the Menace, Minnie the Minx, the Bash Street Kids, the Numskulls, Roger the Dodger, Billy Whizz and Ball Boy (5) 11 Pasta in short tubes with diagonally cut ends (5) 12 1980s American medical drama television series starring Ed Flanders, Norman Lloyd and William Daniels as teaching doctors at an aging, underrated Boston hospital who gave

interns a promising future in making critical medical and life decisions: St --------- (9) 13 British instrumental rock group and former backing band for Cliff Richard (7) 15 Collectable object such as a piece of furniture or work of art that has a high value because of its age and quality (7) 17 Largest of the world's oceans, lying between America to the east and Asia and Australasia to the west (7) 19 French mime artist best known for appearing as the white-faced Bip, a character he developed from the French Pierrot character: Marcel ------- (7) 21 Citadel or fortified part of an ancient Greek city, typically one built on a hill (9) 23 Capital and largest city of Bulgaria (5) 25 Russian pancake of buckwheat flour and yeast, usually served with caviar and sour cream (5) 26 Thrown into a state of intense fear or desperation (9) 27 Longest river of Asia

SUDOKU (V Easy)

Quiz Word

that flows eastward from Tibet into the East China Sea near Shanghai (7) 28 Posted a short message on Twitter (7)

Down 1 Cephalopod mollusc with eight sucker-bearing arms, a soft sac-like body, strong beak-like jaws and

no internal shell (7) 2 Capital city of the Piemonte region of northwestern Italy (5) 3 Played truant from work or school (6,3) 4 International news agency founded in London in 1851. The agency pioneered the use of telegraphy, building up a service used today by newspapers and radio and television stations in most countries (7) 5 Salt lake or inland sea in the Jordan valley, on the Israel–Jordan border. Its surface is 400 m (1,300 ft) below sea level (4,3) 6 English alternative rock band consisting of Guy Garvey, Richard Jupp, Craig Potter, Mark Potter and Pete Turner (5) 7 Ballet posture in which one leg is extended backwards at right angles, the torso bent forwards, and the arms outstretched, one forwards and one backwards (9) 8 District under the pastoral care of a bishop in the Christian Church (7) 14 Musical instrument played by stretching and

squeezing with the hands to work a central bellows that blows air over metal reeds, the melody and chords being sounded by buttons or keys (9) 16 Mechanical gate consisting of revolving horizontal arms fixed to a vertical post, allowing only one person at a time to pass through (9) 17 American men's lifestyle magazine that was founded in Chicago in 1953 by Hugh Hefner (7) 18 Pen name of French novelist whose works include Gigi (1944), Chéri (1920) and La Fin de Chéri (1926) (7) 19 Beaver-like aquatic rodent of North America with dark glossy brown fur (7) 20 Needing or having no assistance (7) 22 Coloured substance that is spread over a surface and dries to leave a thin decorative or protective coating (5) 24 Deceptive or pretended blow, thrust or other movement, especially in boxing or fencing (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Terrorismo y Guerras

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

general QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Venezuela 2. A Spider 3. Tongue 4. vitamin b 5. Michael Farraday 6. A Rhombus 7. The First Micro Processor 8. Black 9. Electroencephalograph 10. The Knee Cap 11. scut 12. Rabies 13. Lightning 14. Radioactivity 15. Porcine

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 7 Titanic, 8 Capitol, 10 Scouse, 11 Tea Party, 12 Newt, 13 North Korea, 14 Belly dancer, 19 Dreadlocks, 22 Roan, 23 Majority, 24 Rasher, 25 Wipeout, 26 Manacle. Down: 1 Pitcher, 2 Baguette, 3 Pigeon, 4 Marathon, 5 Mikado, 6 Poitier, 9 Pterodactyl, 15 Lilliput, 16 Eurostar, 17 Croatia, 18 Gazelle, 20 Azores, 21 Scream.

una bandera

el rehén

un acto bélico

estallar

un artificiero

herido

un ataque aéreo

la guerra

un atentado

las armas

un piloto suicida

secuestrar

un rescate

una amenaza

un soldado

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.el ejército, 2.el rehén,

14.un piloto suicida,

k.a bomb disposal expert,

3.estallar, 4.herido, 5.la guerra,

15.un rescate, 16.un soldado

l.an air attack, m.to kidnap,

6.las armas, 7.secuestrar,

a.a flag, b.a kamakaze,

n.the weapons, o.the war,

8.una amenaza, 9.una bandera,

c.to explode, d.an act of war,

p.a soldier.

10.un acto bélico,

e.injured, f.the army, g.a rescue,

11.un artificiero, 12.un ataque

h.the hostage,

aéreo, 13.un atentado,

i.a terrorist attack, j.a threat,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1f, 2h, 3c, 4e, 5o, 6n, 7m, 8j, 9a, 10d, 11k, 12l, 13i, 14b, 15g, 16a

1. In what country does the cow tree, whose sap looks and tastes like milk, grow ? 2. What Frightened Miss Muffet Away? 3. With which organ does a snake hear? 4. What vitamin complex includes thiamine, niacin and riboflavin? 5. Whose Job As A Book Binder On An Edition Of The Encyclopedia Britannica Led To The Discovery Of Electricity? 6. What Figure Has Four Sides All The Same Length But No Right Angles? 7. What Was The Intel 4004? 8. What color spots has the common ladybird? 9. What Do The Initials E.E.G Stand For? 10. What Is The More Common Name For The Patella? 11. What is the name given to the short tail of a rabbit? 12. For What Illness Did Louis Pasteur Develop A Cure? 13. What Can Be Ball, Forked Or Sheet? 14. What does a Geiger counter measure? 15. Horse Is To Equine As Pig Is To What?

el ejército

Fill It In

Wednesday 9th March 1995

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Claimed and Shamed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 15:55 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Shop Well for Less One Show presenter Alex Jones and business journalist Steph McGovern take on a mission to help families change the way they shop without changing their lifestyles, and ultimately save money 22:00 Famous, Rich and Homeless Four sports relief volunteers, comedian Nick Hancock, TV presenter Julia Bradbury, exsnooker player Willie Thorne and celebrity cleaner Kim Woodburn, live on the streets of London to highlight the harsh reality of homelessness in the UK 23:00 News 23:45 A Question of Sport 00:15 Would I Lie to You? 00:45 Film - Confessions of a Shopaholic (PG) 02:25 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:30 News

07:15 Heir Hunters 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Claimed and Shamed 09:15 Emergency Rescue Down Under 09:45 Great British Menu 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 12:30 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Chef’s Protege 14:30 Portillo’s State Secrets 15:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:45 Mountain 17:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Too Much TV

20:00 This Farming Life Sandy Granville and his fellow crofters collect their sheep from the moor and club together to dip them in insecticide

21:00 Big Star’s Little Star Playing to win thousands of pounds for charity this week are football manager Harry Redknapp and his grandson Bobby, dancer Vincent Simone and his son Luca, and actress Debra Stephenson and her daughter Zoe

21:00 £100k House: Tricks of the Trade Piers Taylor and Katy Marks hunt for ingenious microbudget solutions to improve two homes 22:00 Dunblane: Our Story Documentary commemorating the 20th anniversary of the firearms tragedy in Dunblane 23:00 Live From the BBC 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Land of Hope and Glory British Country Life 01:15 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 02:15 Nature’s Miracle Orphans 03:15 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:10 This is BBC Two

20:00 Rakesh’s worse

Emmerdale troubles get

20:30 Coronation Street The truth comes out about Bethany

22:00 Grantchester Geordie calls on Sidney for help as he investigates the apparent suicide of a Cambridge lecturer, who was found dead after falling from the spire of King’s College Chapel. His wife is convinced he was too happy and content for it to be suicide 23:00 News 23:40 UEFA Champions League Highlights 00:45 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Film Imaginary Friend (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News

Queen marks peace in Belfast

20:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door Gillian abused the Howard family’s friendship by using their house as a drunken crash pad and even defecated on their bathroom 21:00 Posh Pawn Can floor James turn around a £100,000 loan on a sap- 21:00 GPs: Behind phire and diamond neck- Closed Doors Dr Beecraft lace in just two days and has to assess whether or Claudia meets her match not a bipolar patient is safe when a former fashionista to take a long-haul flight approaches her about a collection of designer 22:00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords A handbags Yorkshire landlord has to 22:00 24 Hours in A and E call in eviction specialists to remove tenants from the Five-year-old Isa is rushed house he inherited from his to A&E after being hit by grandparents car and trapped underneath it 23:00 Person of Interest 00:55 Law and Order: 23:00 Raised by Wolves Special Victims Unit 01:45 23:35 How to Get a True Crimes: The First 72 Council House 00:35 The Hours 02:10 Super Casino Secret World of Tinder 04:10 The Secret Life of 01:35 Music on 4 02:00 the Family Film - The Number 23 (15) 03:40 The Secret Millionaire 04:35 Ultimate 07:00 Peter Hurst, 10:00 Dealer 05:00 Location, Trev Massey, 13:00 Alex Location, Location 05:55 Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Kirstie’s Handmade Lack 19:00 Andy James Treasures

It was also the first meeting between the Queen and the Roman Catholic Primate of all Ireland, Cardinal Cahal Daly, as well as his Anglican counterpart, Archbishop Robin Eames.

The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh have made a symbolic visit to Northern Ireland - their first since the IRA and Loyalist ceasefires came into effect last year.

In the news, the BBC's Northern Ireland correspondent says the historic trip is intended as a gesture to reassure the province's unionists - while at the same time trying not to alienate the nationalist population.

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:10 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 You’ve Been Framed Rides Again 10:35 Catchphrase 11:15 Dinner Date 12:15 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 You’ve Been Framed 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - That Awkward Moment (15) 00:00 Family Guy

07:00 Doctor in the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Wycliffe 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 In Loving Memory 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Rosemary and Thyme 22:00 Love Your Garden 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:05 Wire in the Blood 02:05 Where the Heart is

SOAPS

stag do in the pub, Rakesh loses hope over his cash problems and his wedding. Jai is stunned when Rakesh admits the extent of his money problems.

In Emmerdale, Rakesh tells Jimmy that he has pawned his watch and is hopeful about selling the flat. However, he’s stunned when he gets a call and learns they’ve changed their mind about the sale. Getting drunk during his

Meanwhile, Marlon is floored when he learns that Paddy had an affair. Rhona struggles to contain her feelings as Paddy explains things to Marlon. Marlon then comforts Rhona as she breaks down, admitting that she doesn’t know what she wants anymore. Elsewhere, Cain thinks Charity has gone for good. He and Moira assure Noah that he can stay with

07:00 Football’s Greatest: Ronaldo 07:05 Magnum, PI 08:05 The Chase 09:05 The Professionals 10:05 The Sweeney 11:10 Ax Men 12:10 The Chase 13:10 Pawn Stars 13:45 Snooker: World Grand Prix Live 18:15 Storage Wars 18:45 The Car Chasers 19:45 Snooker: World Grand Prix Live 00:15 Film - Extreme Measures (15) 02:40 The Sweeney 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping them if she doesn’t come home.

DUNBLANE: OUR STORY BBC1 22.00 Documentary marking the 20th anniversary of the tragedy in Dunblane, near Stirling, in which a gunman shot dead 16 pupils and their teacher at a primary school. The film features testimony from a survivor, who was shot as a five year old and details her terrifying experience. It also includes an interview she is being bullied and that’s why she’s been avoiding school.

Also today, Finn is spooked at the B&B as he tells Diane that things are miraculously fixing themselves and he feels like he’s being watched. In Coronation Street, When Lauren and her gang confront Bethany on the street, Bethany follows Kylie’s advice and does her best to stand her ground. Spotting the bullies, Luke wades in and tells them to get lost. Luke leads a tearful Bethany to the salon, where the Platts listen in horror as she admits that

Vowing to sort Lauren out, Sarah pays her mother a visit. In the Bistro, the Platts rally round Bethany. Grateful for her support, Bethany hugs Sarah, promising there’ll be no more secrets. Meanwhile, Michael arrives back from hospital.

with the headmaster of the school at the time of the shootings, as well as contributions from family members of the survivors and the deceased, including two young women, who talk about sisters they never knew. For Eileen’s benefit, he shakes hands with Phelan and claims there are no hard feelings. However, he later confides in Gail about how he doesn’t trust Phelan and is convinced he’s trying to lure Eileen away from him. Outside, Michael heads over to Phelan and tells him to stay away from Eileen and Jason. But will Phelan take his threat seriously? Elsewhere, Rana thanks the Nazirs for letting her stay the night and insists she’s going to cook a meal for them by way of thanks. Rana serves up a lovely meal at Number 6. Sharif

and Zeedan are clearly smitten, while Alya can’t help but admire her friend’s shameless schmoozing. Also today, Eva continues to fret about Marta, convinced the O’Driscolls aren’t all they seem. When Aidan makes to argue, Eva accuses him of putting his bank account ahead of Marta’s welfare.

Thursday 10th March 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Claimed and Shamed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Mother’s Day takes a sinister turn for one family and events spiral out of control 21:00 Room 101 Frank Skinner hosts as Katherine Parkinson, Russell Howard and John Torode compete to have their pet hates consigned to Room 101 21:30 EastEnders Ronnie comes to a realisation about her feelings, but is it too late? 22:00 Crimewatch More reports and reconstructions, including the murder of John `Goldfinger’ Palmer. The ex-convict and owner of a multimillion empire was gunned down in his garden in Essex in what police believe was a professional hit 23:00 News 23:45 Crimewatch Update 23:50 Question Time 00:50 This Week 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 News

07:15 Heir Hunters 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Claimed and Shamed 09:15 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Chef’s Protege 14:30 Portillo’s State Secrets 15:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:45 Mountain 17:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Too Much TV 20:00 Big Dreams Small Spaces Monty Don helps Mei and Gerard with their ambitious plan to turn their garden into a Japanesestyle paradise 21:00 The Secret History of My Family The story of three pickpocketing sisters raised in 1830s Shoreditch 22:00 Murder Dominic Cotterall is besieged by accusations and rumours that he has murdered his wealthy American girlfriend Arla Beckman 23:00 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Dunblane: Our Story 01:15 The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story 02:05 Panorama 02:35 The Story of China 03:35 Let’s Play Darts for Sports Relief 2016 04:35 This is BBC Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Jeremy Kyle’s Emergency Room 16:00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Charity is back, with the police in hot pursuit 20:30 Tonight Janet Street-Porter investigates concerns around the growing wealth gap between young and old 21:00 Emmerdale Priya makes a decision about marrying Rakesh 21:30 The Cruise Captain Ed Perrin has been given permission to sail his vessel all the way into Stockholm through its stunning archipelago. It’s a terrifying task for the skipper, for if he gets it wrong he could cause untold damage to a nearby historic windmill 22:00 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive Bear Grylls presents the series in which celebrities face a 12-day survival mission in the dangerous wilderness of the South African bush 23:00 News 23:40 UEFA Europa League Highlights 00:40 Frustrated Britain: Caught on Camera 01:35 Jackpot247

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Car SOS 12:00 Undercover Boss Canada 13:00 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A New Life in the Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Ugly House to Lovely House with George Clarke George shows that even the ugliest house can be transformed into a home to be proud of 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jon Richardson takes on guest team captain Johnny Vegas in another round of words-and-numbers chaos, with Strictly host Claudia Winkleman and comedians Tom Allen and Rob Beckett joining in the fun 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 Tattoo Fixers 01:10 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:05 Royal Navy School 03:00 Born to be Different 03:50 Dispatches 04:20 Beat My Build 05:15 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Britain’s Horror Homes 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Film - The Mystery Cruise 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild Ben ventures deep into the Appalachian mountains of Tennessee to live with the youngest ‘wild’ man he has visited to date 21:00 The Secret Life of the Family Jill tries to motivate her three boys by giving them aerobics lessons 22:00 Trauma Doctors A tree surgeon is airlifted to the Royal London with suspected damaged to his spinal column and there is no time to lose when a man on a bus has a heart attack 23:00 The Moors Murders: Britain’s Worst Crimes 00:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 That’s So1990 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Divine Designs

07:00 Peter Hurst, 10:00 Trev Massey, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:10 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 Coronation Street 10:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:35 Catchphrase 11:15 Dinner Date 12:15 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 The Guide to You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 23:30 Family Guy

07:00 Doctor in the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Wycliffe 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 In Loving Memory 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Foyle’s War 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:00 Wire in the Blood

07:00 Football’s Greatest 07:10 Magnum, PI 08:05 The Chase 09:10 The Professionals 10:05 The Sweeney 11:10 Ax Men 12:10 The Chase 13:10 Pawn Stars 13:45 Snooker: World Grand Prix Live 18:15 Storage Wars 18:45 The Car Chasers 19:45 Snooker: World Grand Prix Live 00:15 Film - Smokin’ Aces (18) 02:25 Ax Men 03:25 Movies Now 03:40 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

THE SECRET HISTORY OF MY FAMILY

SOAPS

shocked when Charity steps out. Moira is incredulous at Charity’s attitude as she explains that she couldn’t come back from prison with nothing. With the police hot on Charity’s heels, how will Moira and Cain resolve the situation?

Priya walks in to see them hugging...

Later, everyone is in the pub wondering where the wedding couple are, but there’s a shock in store when Rakesh and Priya arrive.

In Emmerdale, Police arrive at Butler’s Farm to question Cain about a stolen Ferrari. Moira is relieved to see Cain is being truthful when he insists that he doesn’t know anything about it. Later, as they drive along a country road, Moira and Cain come across the stolen Ferrari and are

Meanwhile, it’s Priya and Rakesh’s wedding day, but Rishi and Priya are bewildered when the building site manager arrives and says Rakesh owes him money. Soon Jimmy drops Rakesh in it with Priya and she heads to Home Farm to look for him. Rakesh is grateful when Chrissie agrees to lend him the money for the caterers, but

In the second episode, Priya is deeply insulted that Rakesh is lying to her over money and explains that she saw him with Chrissie on their wedding day. Rakesh knows he has a lot of explaining to do, so he comes clean about the lies he’s told. Priya gets upset and storms off. Not long afterwards, Rakesh tries to explain again and Priya admits that she doesn’t need an expensive wedding. He asks her to marry him again and she’s left with a decision to make.

BBC2 21.00 Documentary charting 200 years of social history by exploring four different family trees. The project started off with a number of upper-class residents and slum dwellers from Victorian Britain, then traced them forward to learn their stories, ultimately hearing first-hand from their living descendants. The first edition

In Eastenders, things continue to spiral out of control, with even Patrick getting caught up in the commotion. Events soon take a sinister turn when further truths

focuses on a trio of pickpocketing sisters raised in 1830s Shoreditch, two of whom were banished to Australia. Their descendants include two Supreme Court judges, a bin man and a window cleaner. come to light and things turn deadly. Will everyone make it out alive? Meanwhile, Denise struggles to control the situation with Jordan and urges him to listen to her and not go through with his plan. Can she convince him to see sense? In the second episode, Phil’s drunken behaviour continues, so Ronnie drags him to the hospital and begs the doctor to help him. Phil insists that Ronnie should just let him die, but she reminds him that Mitchells don’t give up.

With her own words now striking a chord, Ronnie finds the venue of Jack’s wedding while Honey sends Billy off to find a car. Billy soon arrives with a hearse and the pair head off to stop the wedding, but things fall apart when the hearse breaks down. With only a few miles to go, a desperate Ronnie runs to the hotel to stop the wedding, but will she make it in time?

top

Friday 4th March 2016

Cheeseburger Chilli

Dessert

Blueberry Pancakes

Ingredients

Serves: 12 2 large eggs, separated 5 tablespoons milk 100g (4 oz) self raising flour 4 tablespoons caster sugar pinch salt 100g (4 oz) blueberries 1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Directions Prep:10min › Cook:10min › Ready in:20min Place the egg yolks and milk in a medium bowl and mix thoroughly. Sift over the flour, caster sugar and salt and combine well. Whisk the egg whites in a glass or metallic bowl until they form soft peaks, then fold into the flour mixture gently. Carefully fold in the blueberries. Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium high heat. Drop 2 tablespoons of the mixture into the pan for each pancake, and cook for 2 minutes or until golden brown. Flip and cook for a further minute on the other side.

This recipe, which combines two classics – cheeseburger and chilli con carne, is quickly and easily cooked in a single pan. It can be served warm or cold. FOR 1 person. INGREDIENTS 1 small onion, 1 chilli, 2 tbsp olive oil, 150g (5½oz) minced beef , 50g (1¾oz) pipe rigate (elbow maca-

roni), 150g (5½oz) passata, 4 tbsp kidney beans (tinned) 2 tbsp finely chopped parsley, 3 tbsp grated Emmental cheese, salt and pepper METHOD Peel and dice the onion. Remove the stalk and seeds from the chilli and chop it finely. Heat the olive oil in a pan. Sauté the onion, chilli, and minced beef over a high

heat until the meat juices have evaporated. Stir in the pasta, passata, and 300ml (10fl oz) of water. Let the chilli simmer until the pasta is cooked al dente. If needed, add more water during cooking. Stir in the beans, parsley, and Emmental, and season the chilli with salt and pepper then serve.

Food & Drink

How To Eat: Chips 'n' Dips Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Yes, food friends and mortal masticatory enemies, it is that time of the month again, when Britain’s most fearless food blog, How to Eat, rolls up its sleeves, drops a Rennie and gets stuck into those dishes that other, so-called serious food writers wouldn’t touch with a pair of Joseph Joseph 12” serving tongs (heat resistant to 270C). For HTE, there is no topic that is too hot to handle, which is why, for October, it is tackling, in its usual dogmatic/idiotic style [delete to taste], that most divisive buffet item, chips ’n’ dips. As ever, please use more carrot than breadstick BTL or your fellow raitas will deem you crackers. Cheesy puns are welcome, but please avoid any unnecessary crudities. A NECESSARILY PEDANTIC PREFACE … The chip ’n’ dip moment comes in many, many forms. However, this blog will limit itself to the discussion of chips ’n’ dips eaten, to use that most nauseating phrase, as “party food”. That is, as pre-dinner nibbles or as a

part of a buffet. “Chips” will, of course, refer not merely to tortilla chips, but any vehicle used to deliver dip. THE HOT TIP DIPS 1) Hummus. Any augmentation must be regionally authentic (eg dukkah, paprika), none of this barbaric lemon and coriander, caramelised onion, piri piri nonsense. 2) Intoxicatingly smoky, faintly sharp baba ganoush. 3) Luxuriously creamy, residually hot and spritzy guacamole. 4) Smoked cod’s roe. The northern European taramasalata and, in an island nation, a food that should be everywhere. 5) Genuinely refreshing, just-blitzed salsa, along the lines of pico de gallo. 6) Something involving peas, mint and possibly crumbled feta. 7) Sour cream and chive, the only dairy dip worth the calories.

Food & Drink

Salmon Colcannon Recipe A quick supper of salmon, potatoes and kale

The recipe Put a deep pan of water on to boil. Wash 750g of baking potatoes, then cut them into large pieces. Add them to the boiling water, add salt, then cook till tender to the point of a knife. Place a piece of salmon fillet, about 400g in weight, on a piece of foil, brush lightly with oil or butter, season with salt and cook under an overhead grill till the flakes of fish are just cooked. If they are slightly underdone in the centre, then all to the good. Break the fish into large, juicy flakes, removing the skin as you go. Wash and

finely shred 50g of kale. Warm 2 tbsps of olive oil in a non-stick frying pan, add the kale and cook for a minute or two until bright green. Drain the potatoes then mash them with 40g butter using a vegetable masher or a food mixer fitted with a flat paddle beater, then fold in the fish and the cooked kale. Serve immediately. Enough for 2. The trick The fish should be only just cooked – perhaps slightly underdone, as it will cook a little more when folded into the hot mashed potato. Once the potato is mashed, fold the fish and kale in gen-

Friday 4th March 2016

Sweet Potato & Chia Hash

Swede, sweet potato and chia hash. You can swap the swede for parsnip for a sweeter note. The recipe Peel 500g of swede and cut it into small dice, about 1cm square. Then do the same with 300g of sweet potato. Warm 4 tbsp of olive oil in a heavy-based frying pan then add the swede and cook for 4 or 5 minutes. Add the sweet potato and continue cooking, stirring from time to time. After 20 to 25 minutes the roots should be tender and starting to crisp lightly. Roughly chop 2 spring tly using a large spoon, tak- onions then fold them ing care not to crush the flakes of fish. The twist Other fish work well here, Christine, the owner of the especially grilled mackerel Mist Jewellery and Dress or haddock. I have used Agency has been in the several type of greens, too – Bridal Industry for 25 spinach, lightly cooked, is a years which includes possibility, but firm greens designing wedding dresssuch as dark green cabes, head dresses and bages work best. If you are accessories. Christine using leftover cabbage, heat has successfully ran Mist it in a little melted butter Jewellery in Spain for over before folding it into the 8 years, so much so that potato. You can crush the she is moving into larger mixture together into fat, premises in Quesada on loose-textured cakes and fry Saturday 05 March, which them till crisp, or pile the also now incorporates a mixture into a dish, butter new Dress Agency for all the top lightly, then bake.

through the frying root vegetables together with 1 tbsp of chia seeds. Heat 3 tbsp of olive oil in a nonstick frying pan, break two eggs into the oil and fry them for a couple of minutes until they are as you like them. You know how you like your fried eggs. Divide the swede and sweet potato between two hot plates then slide a fried egg on top of each. Serves 2. The trick Keep the frying temperature low enough that the roots get a chance to cook right through. Turn the heat up

towards the end so the edges of the roots crisp appetisingly. Don’t start cooking the eggs until the root vegetables are well and truly ready. The twist Swap the swede for parsnip for a sweeter note. Use halved new potatoes instead of the sweet potato. At the end of the cooking time shake a little chilli sauce into the pan. As well as their long list of nutrients, chia seeds introduce a pleasing crunchiness to the dish and a nutty flavour. You could use sunflower seeds mixed with poppy and hemp seeds if you prefer.

Mist Jewellery your special occasion wear. There is also a large range of Swarovski Crystal Jewellery, exclusive bridal accessories, fascinators that can be dyed to match any outfit and personal attire designed with Swarovski Crystal for stage performers. Appointments are advisable for a bespoke service. Based also within the new shop will be Raven Personalised Clothing managed by

Martin, who has been in the business for 22 years and has successfully ran his business in Spain for over 8 years, supplying personalised sports, leisure and workwear clothing to businesses in the UK and acrossthe Costa Blanca. So for a great shopping experience, the new premises of Mist Jewellery and Raven Personalised Clothing in Quesada is well worth a visit.

Friday 4th March 2016

Sweetcorn Pancakes With Avocado Salsa

Sweetcorn pancakes are fresh, healthy and beautiful to boot

Food & Drink

Cocktail Of The Week: Chick’n’Sours’ We wanted a vodkabased drink with a difference on the Chick’n’Sours menu, and this hit the spot. It’s a proper guzzler (hikaru means light in Japanese). Green tea syrup is nowhere near as complicated as it sounds: brew a mug of green tea, dissolve 60g caster sugar in 60ml tea, and that’s it. Serves

one. 25ml vodka, 5ml crème de cacao blanc (ie, Briottet), 30ml orange juice, 15ml green tea syrup. 20ml fresh lemon juice, 15ml egg whites. Put everything in a cocktail shaker, shake hard, then single-strain over ice. Garnish with a proud wedge of pink grapefruit, if you like.

The only thing this detoxes is your drinks cupboard, but there’s nothing wrong with that, or with using up dusty bottles from three Christmases ago. This may seem heady, but it’s very pleasant: each flavour comes through, fusing into a cupboardcleansing, fruit bomb.

Serves one (or multiply by 10 in a bowl, add fresh cherries and ice, and ladle out). 30ml sauternes, 20ml port, 25ml gin, 15ml Grand Marnier, 10ml fresh lemon juice Shake over ice, pour into a tall glass, add a twist of lemon and serve.

'O for a beaker full of the warm south,” pined Keats. The poet spoke well, and now many among us may answer his call unburdened by guilt, following news that drinking too much is a less than deadly sin for the middle classes. Take that, Sally Davies! The Chief Medical Officer has injected fear into the consumption of even a thimble of the blushful Hippocrene, but now it turns out that – if you eat well and stay off the Woodbines – boozing is not so bad for you. Why academics (at Bangor University, as you ask) needed a long, drawn-out study to discover this, I couldn’t possibly say. 'Wine protects teeth, fosters good eyesight, promotes mental health, lowers the risk of cancer, and is good for the heart' Yet I’m sure there is more to discover. For I have long regarded wine as a health drink. It does us good. Should you doubt the benefits of the grape, ponder the latest news from Australia, where a group of guzzlers have reaffirmed its life-enhancing properties. Wine protects teeth, fosters good eyesight, promotes mental health, lowers the risk of cancer, and is good for the heart. Most wine-bibbers know as much. The boys from Bangor encourage healthy eating, but Neville Cardus, the music writer and aes-

thete, reminds us that it is wine that orchestrates the meal. One might go further and say wine civilises the table because, unless you live on a park bench, you don’t drink it for effect . 'The thrice-blessed child of sun, soil and grape has given more pleasure to more people than almost anything else' Many readers will know that wine yields its pleasures slowly. Very slowly. When Robert Mondavi, the celebrated Californian winemaker, visited Baroness Philippine de Rothschild at her family’s chateau in Bordeaux, she told him: “Remember, Robert, making wine is easy. It’s just the first two hundred years that is difficult.” Whether it is nectar of the Gods, the blood of Christ, or vin ordinaire, the thrice-blessed child of sun, soil and grape has given more pleasure to more people than almost anything else. Our prim killjoy, Dame Sally, may think of the Grim Reaper every time she pours a glass, but for everyone else sermons and soda water come the day after. Thankfully, there is nothing that banishes hectoring bores like Dame S better than the contemplation of a sapid burgundy, as Charles Ryder does in Brideshead Revisited, when confronted in Paris by the droning Rex Mottram.

Detox Punch Cocktail

Bright and colourful, this is a good brunch dish at the weekend as well as an evening meal. SERVES 4 INGREDIENTS 3 eggs, 100g plain flour, 1 tsp baking powder, 100ml crème fraiche, 150g tinned sweetcorn, 3 spring onions Fresh coriander Sunflower oil for frying 4 tomatoes, 1 red onion 1 ripe avocado, 1 red chilli 1 clove garlic, 2 tbsp olive oil, 1 lime. METHOD Start off by making the pancake batter. Place the eggs, flour, baking powder, crème fraiche and 100g of the sweetcorn in a blender. Blend for about thirty seconds until smooth. Finely slice the spring onions and roughly chop a handful of the coriander. Stir into the mixture with the remaining 50g whole sweetcorn and a pinch of salt. Heat a little sunflower oil in a frying pan and drop in 2 or 3 tablespoons of batter at a time. Fry for about 2 minutes on each side until golden brown. Keep warm while you make the salsa. Dice the tomatoes, onion and avocado. Finely chop the garlic and red chilli and mix everything together in a bowl with the juice of the lime and olive oil. Season with salt and pepper, stir in a little more chopped coriander and serve piled on top of the pancakes.

Wine Is Clearly Good For You

Food & Drink

Friday 4th March 2016

DVD’S Creed

The Costa Blanca´s Biggest and Best Live Local radio station - TKO fm - are currently looking for RADIO PRESENTERS to enhance their current rosta. If you think that you have a voice that people will listen to – and have what it takes to Plan - Produce and Present a structured, informative and entertaining 2 or 3 hour live show within pre set musical guidelines - to a discerning target audience – then get in touch. You may have had previous experience – or maybe you are just thinking that it is something you would like to do. Either way – in the first instance send a 2 minute mp3 file showing off your voice and presenting talents and style to tkomedia2015@gmail.com with a brief covering note explaining why you think you should be On Air! Remember, experience is not required if you are the right person for the job and all applications will be treated in the strictest of confidence – but those without the required mp3 file will not be considered, so get recording. Your radio future is waiting.

BOX OFFICE

TOP 10

1. Deadpool 2. Gods of Egypt 3. Kung Fu Panda 3 4. Risen 5. Triple 9 6. Eddie the Eagle 7. The VVitch: A NewEngland Folktale 8. How to Be Single 9. Race 10. The Revenant

Triple 9 - 'Almost A Great Crime Thriller'

DIRECTOR John Hillcoat GENRE Thriller SYNOPSIS A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan the murder of a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet across town. RELEASE DATE 26 February 2016 DURATION 1h 55mins RATING 15 The new crime thriller Triple 9 begins with a bank robbery gone wrong. It’s masks, automatic weapons and zip-up nylon holdalls: stuff most action directors can find their way around in their sleep. As the gang flees the scene, a canister of antitheft dye explodes in its getaway car. Scarlet smoke billows from the windows, streaking hot cherry-red across the grey-green cityscape. The vehicle

screeches to a halt on a motorway bridge, and the gang tumbles out as if in a stupor, their black combat gear stained crimson and marked with guilt. Having established his film’s gritty credentials, Hillcoat hits you with a tableau of pure surreality – the thieves’ bestlaid plans thrown intoxicatingly off balance by colour and chaos. Triple 9 has just enough bright ideas like this to make you regret there aren’t more. In almost exactly the same way as Hillcoat’s previous film, the Prohibition caper Lawless, it’s an accomplished disappointment: the zealous cast, surplus of attitude and sinewy set pieces never quite compensate for the thinly sketched characters, unfocused plot and general gnawing sense of potential not being met.

We’re in Atlanta, Georgia, where the city’s police force has curdled to the point of toxicity. At the heart of the department is a group of ex-soldiers who smuggled arms out of Iraq for the Russian-Israeli mob: a relationship you’ll be amazed to hear hasn’t worked out for the best. The premise of corruption stoked up overseas coming home to roost is intriguing, but Hillcoat and his firsttime screenwriter Matt Cook don’t seem to know how to develop it, or even if it interests them in the first place. Instead, they immerse themselves in the southernfried weirdness of Atlanta itself: the gangs, glaring sun and glowing neon, and the thud and snap of hip-hop music blasting from battered cars. Atwood and Belmont despise the place for what

it’s done to them. But Chris’s uncle Jeffery (Woody Harrelson), the flamboyant Atlanta PD veteran in charge of cracking the bank-robbing spree, is at peace with the streets, and talks affectionately about the many-tentacled “monster” of organised crime his job involves keeping at bay. It’s fun to watch Harrelson swaggering loopily around town and Ejiofor wrestling with his conscience, and there are flourishes of pure style from Hillcoat, including a sequence of razor-edge tension in which Affleck and Mackie uneasily work together to search an apartment block for an Uzi-toting drug dealer. It feels like fragments of a great crime thriller that’s yet to be made: enthralling up close, but the big picture isn’t complete.

9th Gastronomic Fair In Benissa

The Gastronomic Fair in Benissa will take place on the 4th, 5th and 6th of March with a program full of events and gastronomic tastings. For 10 days many restaurants will be offering special tasting menus based on local gastronomy from Benissa at low cost. This Gastronomic Fair in Benissa 2016 wants to spread recipes, dishes and local products as well as respecting the

own culinary style of every establishment. During this fair there will also be the 16th Wine Competition in Benissa and the 1st Artisan Cold Meat Competition in Marina Alta. Come to enjoy and discover Benissa during the weekend and find out more about its coast, where coves as Fustera and Pinets will leave you absolutely impressed. Or visit their Website for more information at www.benissa.net

Rocky Balboa was an unknown fighter with aspirations to be boxing's Heavyweight Champion. He meets Apollo Creed in the ring when Creed challenges him to a publicity match. Creed doesn't take Rocky seriously until h e ' s knocked down in the first round. The two battle it out to the end with neither being the winner. They have rematch after rematch and gradually become friends. Apollo and Rocky were so close that they fought together in an exhibition match in the Soviet Union.

The Danish Girl

Gerda Wegener, a Danish artist, decides to use her husband Einar as her model for a painting of a young woman. Soon after, the popularity of the painting brings attention to the couple, and they decide to reveal the model "Lili" to the public by having Einar dress up as a woman. Yet, Einar soon discovers that he doesn't mind being seen as a woman and finally admits to himself that he has always seen himself this way.

Room After a life stuck in a tiny, windowless room (which his mother simply refers to as "Room"), the young boy Jack and his mother, Ma, decide to break out and discover the real world. This will prove more difficult than either one of them has ever suspected, leaving t h e m dealing with completely new surroundings in a much larger and more complicated sphere than they've ever experienced before.

Friday 4th March 2016 Do you want to hire Me? TKO Teddy for your Special Events!!! Call Today 664 315 470

Friends of TKO Teddy!!!

Hi everybody from TKO Teddy, and it has been a gorgeous start to March with spring very much in the air. I reckon that a little trim of my winter fur is needed soon with those temperatures rising and of course I will need to look prim and proper for the Orihuela Costa St. Patrick’s Day parade on Thursday March 17th which should be a load of fun! Also with the better weather, it’s time to think about having a swimming pool put in this year. It’s a fabulous way of keeping cool, and I checked out what can be done for you with those nice people at Piscinas Moya in Torrevieja. They can build

your pool, and you’ll find them a stone’s throw away from Mercadona in Torreta II. Have you seen my Facebook page, TKO Teddy, yet? Come along and join me there and feel free to post or send any fun, cute or just plain old funny photos you may have, especially of your pets. I do love animals, you know! I’m also after visiting loads of businesses, charities, and events across the area, so don’t forget that if you want me to pay you a visit in 2016, contact me via Facebook and my special page, TKO Teddy. My phone number is 664 315 470 or via e-mail tkoteddy@tko.media

19 Do you want to hire Me? Events, Fun Days!, Birthdays, Carnivals, Fiesta's!, Charity Fundraisers!

Friday 4th March 2016

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

More Modals To Go At! This week we are continuing with modal verbs but first I´ll give you the translations from last week, how did you get on? You don't owe me anything – no me debes nada, He must be tired – Debe de estarcansado, These pills should alleviate the pain – Estas pastillas deberían aliviar el dolor, You should copy it – Lo deberíascopiar, You should sign it – Lo deberíasfirmar, I ought to work – Yo debería trabajar, You must create a new file – Usted debecrear un archivonuevo, they must work – debentrabajar, You shouldn't smoke so much – No deberías fumartanto, I should go – Deberíairme, You must arrive at school by 8 o'clock – Tú debesllegar a la escuela a lasocho,it must be late – debede sertarde. Now we are going to look at another modal which you possibly already know, and that is tenerque it is used to

express obligation and means ´to have to´ (e.g. do something). It is followed by the infinitive of a verb and the verb tener is conjugated to the speaker. So, I have to go translates as tengoqueir (ortengoqueirme) this is a very simple modal and can be used in the past or future as well as the present tense. Another useful verb which is sometimes called a modal because it has to be used with another verb is soler, this is a verb that changes meaning depending on whether it´s used in the present or past. The present conjugation is: suelo, sueles, suele, solemos, soléis, suelen. When it is used in the present tense it translates as ´usually´ so in order to say: I usually eat fish on Fridays, we can say: suelo comer pescado los viernes. However when it´s used in the past its meaning changes to ´used to´ the

conjugations in the past are: solía, solías, solía, solíamos, solíais, solían. So to say: I used to eat fish on Fridays we would say: Solía comer pescado los viernes. Soler is a very useful verb, and it is one that is very commonly used by Spanish people. It´s good practice to use it and make up some sentences using the verb to get yourself used to saying the conjugations. Other English modals aremay and might, these express a possibility of something happening, in Spanish there is no direct translation for these words in Spanish, instead we use words like talvez, quizásor es possible quefollowed by the subjunctive of the verb as there is a doubt about the sentence. For example: she may be pregnant – es possible queesté embarazada; There may be 50 million of us in 2015 – Quizásseamos 50 millones

en 2015. Here are some more translations for you to have a go at, remember to correctly conjugate the verb and think about tenses: you have to see your son´s teacher, We may go to Bilbao next week, I used to go for a run every morning, you have to be careful, I

usually go often, We usually go to the beach once a week in summer, I used to play the clarinet when I was young, I might go to the party but I´m not sure, my sister used to run marathons, but she doesn´t run at all now, we have to lose weight! Have a go and see how

you do. Remember to speak Spanish at every opportunity, next week we´re going to look at probably the verb that is used most often as a modal verb, and can help you to improve your vocabulary and say what you want to say. ¡hasta la próxima!

Health

Friday 4th March 2016

Thousands Of NHS Doctor And Nursing Posts Are Vacant Contact@medb.es

Website: www.medb.es

Between 2013 and 2015, nursing vacancies had increased by 50%

Thousands of NHS doctor and nursing posts are lying vacant, trusts and health boards have said. More than two-thirds of trusts and health boards in

the UK are looking to fill positions with staff from abroad, official figures showed. The vacancy rate for doctors is seven per cent and

for nurses 10 per cent, compared to the Office of National Statistics' average for the economy at large from between November 2015 and January 2016 of

2.7 per cent. "We know that much more needs to be done to make sure we continue to have the right number of staff in training and on our wards" Department of Health spokesman The data shows that on December 1 2015, the NHS in England, Wales and Northern Ireland had more than 23,443 vacant nursing posts and 6,207 doctor vacancies - and 106 out of 166 trusts in the regions also responded with information on the increase in vacancies over the last three years. Between 2013 and 2015, nursing vacancies had increased by 50 per cent and open positions for doctors had risen by 60 per

cent, the figures obtained by the BBC under a Freedom of Information request showed. Trusts and health boards were also asked if they were actively recruiting staff from abroad and 69 per cent were, some travelling as far as India and the Philippines. Vacancy rates in Scotland are published quarterly and therefore not available, the BBC said, but trusts north of the border contributed to information about recruiting abroad. The Royal College of Nursing and the British Medical Association blamed poor workforce planning for the problems hospitals are having in finding qualified staff. A Department of Health spokesman said: "Staffing is

a priority - that's why there are already over 29,600 extra clinical staff, including more than 10,600 additional doctors and more than 10,600 additional nurses on our wards since May 2010. "There are more than 50,000 nurses currently in training. "However, we know that much more needs to be done to make sure we continue to have the right number of staff in training and on our wards so patients receive high-quality care 24 hours a day, seven days a week. "That's why we are changing student nursing, midwifery and allied health professionals funding to create up to 10,000 more training places by the end of this Parliament."

Is It Safe To Use Talcum Powder? The family of a woman in the US who died from ovarian cancer after using Johnson & Johnson baby powder has been awarded damages. So how much of a risk does talc pose? What could be more wholesome than Johnson & Johnson’s talcum powder? It is the fragrant way to dry the bits towels can’t reach. Up to 40% of women may use talc at least occasionally. But last week a Missouri jury awarded $72m (£51.5m) in damages to the family of Jackie Fox, who died of ovarian cancer having used the wellknown brand of powder for

years. More than 1,200 other cases are still waiting to be heard. The scientific evidence linking talcum powder to ovarian cancer is not overwhelming, but the trial saw an internal memo from a medical consultant employed by Johnson & Johnson that suggested that “anybody who denies the risks” between “hygienic”

talc use and ovarian cancer would be publicly perceived in the same light as those who denied a link between smoking cigarettes and cancer. The solution Three years ago I wrote about a paper linking talc to an increased risk of ovarian cancer. It is a debate that has rumbled on for decades. Talc is naturally occurring and consists of magnesium, silicon, hydrogen and oxygen. It is mined from the soil and, before 1973, was often contaminated with asbestos (a naturally occurring close neighbour in the ground). Last year, a court awarded a woman in California $13m for developing a mesothelioma (a tumour of the lining of the lungs) from using talc with asbestos in it – the tiny fibres in talc are easily inhaled. Removing the asbestos, however, did not stop some studies continuing to link talc with ovarian cancer. A 2003 meta-analysis looking at 16 studies

involving 11,933 women found talc was associated with a higher risk of ovarian cancer, but a 2014 study of 61,576 women found no such link. The International Agency for Research on Cancer (part of the WHO) has classified talc applied to the genitals as “possibly carcinogenic”. The studies that have found the weak links have been case-control studies that compare the use

of talc by women with ovarian cancer to those without it. They rely on self-reported talc use, which is not terribly reliable. There is a plausible mechanism by which talc could promote cancer – by triggering long-term inflammation. But since ovarian cancer is uncommon, the use of talc will only raise a small risk by a smallish amount (up to a third). There are stronger risks for ovarian

cancer, such as genetic abnormalities, hormone replacement therapy and being overweight. Studies do not show a relationship between the amount of talc used and the likelihood of ovarian cancer – if there was a strong link they would do. But while talc may not be unsafe, a fluffy towel is safer. The popularity of talc is already waning and won’t be helped by more lawsuits.

Health Dr M. Mannu

Friday 4th March 2016

Flu Vaccines And Alzheimer’s Disease Contact@medb.es

Dr Hugh Fudenberg, aforemost immunologist and

publisher of over 800 medical publications discovered

during his research that the chances of developing

Website: www.medb.es

Alzheimer´s disease were10 times higher for people who have received over 10 consecutive flu vaccines than for people who received fewer than 2 fluvaccines. Vaccines contain many toxic compounds that cause intense inflammation of the whole body including the immune system. Most vaccines typically contain formaldehyde, aluminium hydroxide, and animal proteins from infected animals, Gelatin, and thimerosal - a preservative with very high levels of mercury. Research carried out at theUniversity of Calgary showed that

exposing the brain to mercury caused the formation of the same markers ´Plaques and Tangles´ found in the brains of people with Alzheimer´s disease. Our experience at MedB clinic is that towards the end of the year when people start receiving flu vaccines, we see ahigher incidence of immune system problems and microbial infections from people who have just received the flu vaccine. And yet we have also seen a few people who have received the flu vaccine for over 10 years without serious problems.

The best way to protect yourself against theflu is to start strengthening your immune system in the weeks coming up to winter. And you can do this with immune system enhancers, especially Reishi, and Colostrum. Vitamin D is also very important for protecting the immune system and preventing flu and colds. Low sunlight in the winter months is linked to low levels of vitamin D causing resulting in a weak immune system and increased flu infections.For A Full Body Diagnostic Scan Call MedB Clinic: 965071745, 966189074.

Zika virus: Pregnant Women Warned Against Travel To Affected Areas Public Health England recommends pregnant women avoid Brazil and other regions of Latin America Pregnant women or those hoping to become so should stay away from Brazil and other regions of Latin America affected by the Zika virus, according to revised government advice. The weight of evidence that Zika is to blame for the surge in babies with brain damage in Brazil has now tipped the balance, Public Health England (PHE) feels. The previous guidance advised pregnant women to

consider staying at home, consult their doctor if they intended to travel and take precautions against mosquito bites. Now it advises them not to go. “It is recommended that pregnant women should postpone non-essential travel to areas with active Zika transmission until after pregnancy,” says the advice. The update may cause some women who had hoped to travel to the

Olympics in Rio de Janeiro in the summer to abandon their plans – even though the Aedes aegypti mosquito, which has been blamed for transmission of the virus, does not breed or bite in the summer. Prof Paul Cosford cited the results of tests of amniotic fluid from the womb of women carrying babies with microcephaly and brain tissues from babies that were stillborn, which have found

the Zika virus. “We have conversations with a number of different scientists across the world which all suggest there is a strengthening link,” he said. The purpose of the advice from PHE was to safeguard unborn babies from infection with Zika, he said. “We’re not yet certain whether it is restricted to any part of pregnancy. The most likely time would be in early pregnancy, but we can’t discount

any part of pregnancy.” Women are recommended to avoid becoming pregnant in an area affected by Zika and for 28 days after returning home. If after her return a woman develops Zika-like symptoms – which can include a rash, fever, joint pain and red eyes – she should avoid getting pregnant for 28 more days. Dr Dipti Patel, director of the National Travel Health Network and Centre, which

jointly issued the advice with PHE, said: “All travellers, especially pregnant women going to an area where there is current active Zika virus transmission should ensure they seek travel health advice from their GP or a travel clinic well in advance of their trip and consult the NaTHNaC website for up-to-date information on where current active transmission is occurring and country information.”

Motoring

Friday 4th March 2016

Nissan Juke Review

Nissan no longer makes conventional hatchbacks or saloons Micra supermini excepted, Nissan no longer makes normal hatchbacks or saloons. Instead, it has become a post-modern car company and champion of the crossover concept. Having shown with the Qashqai that a high-riding hatchback with a hint of SUV sits right in many buyers’ comfort zones, it has now applied the formula to the next class down. The Nissan Juke is the result. The Juke's wackiness comes from Nissan’s late1980s special projects offshoot, the Pike Factory. It put out the Pao, S-Cargo and Figaro, all retro-looking with a modern twist. Not that there’s anything retro about the Juke, which is a real-world version of

the Qazana concept car created in N i s s a n ’ s London s t u -

dio. The final version of the Qazana starred at the 2009 Geneva motor show and was nearly production ready. A smaller, cheaper car attracts a younger buyer, and the Juke plays to that audience. Its style is more exaggerated than that of today’s mainstream cars, and it takes the notion of

A c e n t a which can be had with a Sport

Pack or Premium Pack, then range-topping Tekna. The novelty in the line-up is a four-wheel-drive model with the 1.6-litre petrol turbo engine and a CVT gearbox. It is available only in Tekna trim models, however. Whether the mix creates a car capable of multi-disciplinary miracles, or whether each attribute is fatally compromised by every other, is open to debate, and that's what we'll explore here. Opinions are split on the Nissan Juke’s looks. We’re used to seeing calmer con-

cept cars make it to production more or less intact (the Audi TT and the Peugeot RCZ, for example), but the Juke seems to have made it from freeform design sketch to solid metal without passing through any credibility filters en route. So what look like front foglights are the headlights, inspired by a rally car’s auxillary lights. What look like headlights are the sidelights and indicators, seemingly bursting upwards through slashes in the bodywork. Price start from 15,000€.

crossing over in a whole new direction, plundering the gene pools of SUVs, sports coupés and, in the cabin, even motorcycles. The engine choice is simple: 1.6-litre petrol, a 1.6-litre petrol turbo or a Renault-sourced 1.5-litre diesel. Trim levels are slightly more confusing, starting with Visia, then

Avoid These Four Mistakes When Buying Tyres

Tyres are the most important parts of a car because they assure you of safety. Most car owners are at a loss on what to look for when buying tyres. Therefore, they end up making bad choices that in turn risk their lives and increase their spending. Wheel and tyre specialist Richard’s Tyrepower shares four mistakes car owners should avoid when buying tyres. Buying Cheap Tyres Most car owners look for the cheapest tyres in the market. Although this helps in keeping the budget low, it

is a big mistake because cheap is expensive at the end. You buy a tyre because it is cheap but in the long run you spend more because you will have to replace it more often. Not Checking on Weather Compatibility Different weather conditions require different types of tyres. The market offers all weather and winter tyres. Winter tyres have a different design compared to all weather tyres. Ensure your car has the correct tyres depending on the prevailing climate condition.

Lack of Knowledge on When to Change the Tyres Your car will never function if your tyre are in poor condition. Consulting car specialists regularly is vital because they will help you know when to change your tyres. Change your tyres if it gets a puncture. Because punctures cannot be avoided thus when they strike look for a specialist for advice on whether to purchase a new one or repair. If your tyres are worn out, replace them. Change your tyres if you’re using tyres not suited for your car. Overlooking Speed Rating Speed rating information is available in the user manual that comes with the car. The information will enable car owners to purchase tyre according to manufacturer’s recommendation. Your tyres should fit or exceed the manufacturer’s recommended rating.

Friday 4th March 2016

Visit the website, n332.es

Driver Fined for Not Exchanging Licence It was over a year ago that foreign resident drivers were first warned of the need to change their driving licences if they did not fall into the required criteria as set out in the countless publications detailing this. The European Union is responsible for creating a harmonised licence model with the new rules coming into force last year. However, on account of the number of foreign drivers living in Spain, the DGT issued an amnesty in March, allowing those drivers who would be liable to a fine until the 1st of January 2016 to sort out their documentation. There were two such instances which required action. Firstly, if your licence has an indefinite expiry date, or more than 15 years

validity and you were legally resident in Spain before January 19, 2013, you should have already renewed your driving licence. If not, you must do so immediately. If you only became resident after January 19, 2013, you had 2 years from your date of residency to renew, that date has also expired. Secondly, if your license has expired or is due to expire, you must renew it in your country of residence, in other words, if you are a resident in Spain, your current license, once it expires, must be renewed in Spain. Despite these explanatory cases, there was still a lot of erroneous advice being spread through some outlets, including incorrect reports that you do not have to change your licence as

we are all in Europe, suggestions that the whole process was illegal and even some people adamant that the Guardia Civil would not fine drivers. All of these suggestions were wrong. This week, in the Torrevieja area, one such foreign driver has been issued with a fine as the licence, which fell into the first category of having an open expiry date, had not been changed. This licence is no longer valid and the amnesty expired in January. You can see the details of the fine issued in the image. Remember, if your licence has an indefinite expiry date, or more than 15 years validity, your licence must be changed. If, or when, any licence expires, it must be renewed in your country of residence.

In fact though, having a Spanish issued licence also makes life on the road much easier, as your Spanish licence is linked to your NIE, and so in the event of you being stopped by the police your details can be checked and confirmed instantly. Plus, in the event of you being fined for a traffic offence, you do not have to pay on the spot if you have a Spanish licence, and can benefit from a reduced fine for prompt payment. If you would like more information about exchanging your licence, visit the website, n332.es, and follow the links to the information pages. You can also search the n332.es website by keying in the keyword â&#x20AC;&#x153;licencesâ&#x20AC;? at the top of the page or visiting the F.A.Q. section.

Obligations of the Obligations in the Vehicle Driver Use of Bicycles Continuing the series detailing the latest changes in Spanish traffic law, this week we are looking at the obligations of the driver. The driver of a vehicle is obliged to maintain their own freedom of movement, the necessary field of vision and constant attention to driving which guarantee their own safety, that of the other occupants of the vehicle, and of all other road users. To this effect, they and the rest of the passengers must take special care to maintain a suitable position, and suitable placing of objects or animals being transported so that none of these interfere with the driver. This rule is an all-encompassing regulation which can be used to ensure that a wide range of risky behaviours are avoided. The following are considered incompatible with constant attention to driving, and as such are prohibited: a) The use by the driver, with the vehicle in motion, of screens, television monitors, reproducers of images or any similar kind of device which reduces the attention to driving. Exceptions are made for the use of monitors in the driver's line of vision and whose use is necessary for viewing the ascent and descent of passengers, or rear-view cameras, as well as for viewing navigation devices, although you must not touch those devices whilst driving. b) Driving whilst using helmets or earphones connected to receivers or reproducers of sound, including the use of only one, except during official driving lessons and driving tests on the open roads to obtain a driving permit, where the General Rules

for Drivers have been established. This rule covers the use of such devices as Bluetooth earpieces, which are prohibited under normal operation. It is prohibited to drive while using mobile phone devices and any other mode or system of communication, except under the following conditions: a) Hands-free, using an approved device for the purpose. It should be noted that hands-free devices are specifically designed for that purpose. Simply holding a device such as a telephone which is on loudspeaker mode, not placed at your ear, does not constitute handsfree operation. b) Without the use of helmets, earphones or similar instruments. This condition will not apply to the drivers of mopeds and scooters, where they are using an integrated device in the safety helmet, properly officially approved, with the purpose of communication and direction or navigation. Agents of the authorities are exempt from this prohibition while carrying out the

duties with which they are charged. It is prohibited to carry or install radar or speed detector blocking devices or any other instruments with the objective of eluding or interfering with the proper function of traffic control, or making or emitting signals with that purpose. Equally it is prohibited to use mechanisms to detect radar or speed cameras. Devices and mobile phone applications that warn of the location of fixed cameras and radars are permitted. Notification mechanisms which advise of the status of traffic control systems are excluded from this prohibition. The driver of a vehicle must ensure that the registration plates are free from obstacles which impede or obstruct their reading and identification. The most common obstructions that obscure number plates are badly fitted tow bars, bicycle carriers and objects hanging from the back of vehicles, although anything which obscures the view is prohibited.

Bicycle users must comply with the general rules of traffic, and adopt the appropriate methods to guarantee the coexistence and safety on the road of other vehicles and, especially, of pedestrians. Respecting the rules of the road, cyclists must also position themselves on the road in an appropriate manner. On routes with a speed limit of over 50 kph, cyclists will travel along the hard shoulder on the right, if it is passable and sufficient, and if it is not or there is no hard shoulder, will keep to the right and as close as possible to the side of the road. On prolonged curved descents, where safety reasons allow, bicycle riders may leave the hard shoulder and travel along the right side of the road where necessary. Not withstanding other provisions, adult bicycle riders may travel on the highways, excepting where it is prohibited for road safety reasons by means of corresponding signage. Said prohibition will be complemented by a screen informing of an alternative route. They must ride along the hard shoulder, without invading the road under any

circumstances. On urban routes with a speed limit equal to or less that 50kph, which provides at least two traffic lanes in each direction, cyclists will travel on the road and in the right hand lane, giving priority to other vehicles driving at greater speed. They may travel in the other lanes where they are going to change direction, or where it is essential. On those roads which provide one lane of traffic in each direction, cyclists will preferably travel in the middle of the lane in a way which favours their safety and that of other road users, allowing other vehicles to pass. On urban routes exclusively, they may overtake and travel ahead of other vehicles on the right or the left, depending which is more suitable for their safety. At intersections regulated by traffic lights and traffic holding on urban routes, they may overtake vehicles which have been stopped, according to the provisions already laid out. On inter-city routes, changes of direction must be carried out as provided for in Article 76.2. Cyclists may ride in a parallel position in pairs, keeping as close as possible to the outside right of the road and positioning themselves in single file on sections of poor visibility and where traffic jams build up. Cyclists may travel in a group without the necessity to maintain the distance of separation between them established for other vehicles as established in other rules. In this case they must take extra care to avoid colliding with each other. Minors under the age of

fourteen may ride their bicycles on the pavements and other pedestrian areas, always respecting the priority of the pedestrians and at a speed which does not compromise their safety nor hinder their mobility. An adult may ride on the pavement while accompanying one or more minors, under the same conditions described. Travelling along pavement cycle lanes will be subject to the following rules: a) The cyclist will travel at moderate speed, with due attention to possible collision with pedestrians, and most especially with children and persons of reduced mobility, and may not utilize the rest of the pavement, which remains reserved for the movement of pedestrians, with the exceptions provided for previously. The pedestrian may not move into the cycle lanes, except to cross them. In this case, the priority belongs to the cyclist. On pedestrian crossings where there is no specific cycle crossing, cyclists using the pavement cycle lane or the pavement may use these to cross the road, adapting their speed to that of the pedestrian and taking care not to put them in danger. In this case, the bicycles have priority over motor vehicles, as do pedestrians over bicycles. While travelling across roundabouts, taking into account the rules of priority already established, the cyclist will occupy the part of the roundabout necessary to be seen. In the presence of a cyclist, the other vehicles will reduce their speed, always while avoiding cutting across their path, and will facilitate their manoeuvre.

Friday 4th March 2016

RICHARD CAVENDER

BlueMoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca. BlueMoon Solutions come to you at home or work, our personal service covers from Alicante to Pilar de la Horadada.

Richard moved to Spain ten years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

FIXED: Peter was having problems with Windows Live ADVICE: Sid wanted some advice on backups. Photo Gallery.

Q A

I want to pick your brains, I have a laptop, Acer Aspire 5740G, an error code 0x80010108 appears when i try use a memory card in the laptop, or opening Windows Live Photo Gallery, What does mean? How can I overcome this problem? Trust you will have an answer to this problem. Peter.

Hi Peter, I believe this is related to the older version of Windows live Photo Gallery, you can do the following to get around the problem and import your pictures… Make sure that your memory card is connected to your computer. Open Windows Live Photo Gallery. Click the Home tab, and then click Import photos. In the Import Photos and Videos dialog box, select your memory card, and then click Import. Click Import. Click More Options to select the options that you want to use, such as where to save the files and what format to use for the folder and file names. Select either Review, organize and group items to import or Import all new items now...however in the longer term you should look to upgrade to the 2011 version, you can download and install the latest version from this link http://explore.live.com/windows-live-photo-gallery

ADVICE: Jim had a PC that was making a strange noise. Hi Richard, could you help me please? I have a tower computer that has started to make a loud noise when its turned on, it starts really loud when the computer is first switched on and then dies down a bit but then gets loud again when Windows starts to load. Do you have any idea what I can do, will it be expensive to repair?

Q A

Hi Jim, this could be one of three things, it could either be the cooling fan in your power supply, have a look around the back of your computer and usually at the top where the power cable goes into it there is a fan, you should be able to hear if it’s this fan that is making the noise. If it’s not this then its either the processor fan or just another fan inside your computers case, either way any of these fans should be easily replicable by a qualified engineer at a reasonable cost.

I have a 1TB hard drive for backing up my computer. I have it set to back up midnight every Friday using the windows 7 backup program. The problem is although the computer is backed up I cannot access any folders or files as it has been saved as a disk Image. What free back up program do you suggest that will run in conjunction with the windows 7 back up program so that I can access files and folders on the Hard Drive?

Hi Sid, you are absolutely correct, the data that is backed up by Windows 7’s backup application stores the data in such a format that it is not readable directly, you need to go back into the backup program to read the data. Like you I much prefer to store my backups (space allowing) as a direct copy of the individual files – that way I can see what data has been backed up and access the files directly should I need to. There are a number of applications out there that will allow you do perform backups in this way, one of the best ones that I have used is called “Allway Sync” and you can get a free copy of it at www.allwaysync.com The great thing about this product is that it will, should you require, keep multiple locations in sync – by that I mean if you delete a file from one location, allway sync will remove the file from the backup, keeping both locations exactly synchronised. It has the facility to be scheduled, so you could still run your backups at midnight on Fridays and as I mentioned before it stores the files in the same format as they are in the source location so you can view the files directly in the destination location.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Office: 902 906 200 Mobile: 655 044 970 Don’t forget you can follow me on Facebook www.facebook.com/bluemoonsolutionsspain/ Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es/newsletter .

Friday 4th March 2016

Business Directory

SITUATIONS VACANT

CHURCH SERVICES

RADIO COSTA MEDIA needs self-employed salesperson for Torrevieja – Orihuela Costa and surrounding areas. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, all welcome to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org.

TUITION Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers. From 10€ per hour. Call Peter NOW on 966789612 or Mobile number 629975378.

REMOVALS

STAFF WANTED

CHURCH SERVICES

QUIZ MASTER

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club.Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

966 921 003 thecourier.es

Experienced quiz-master /question setter with personality If you would like a quiz master that is interesting and entertaining, questions that are challenging yet not too difficult so as to be ungettable available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel: 664 838 581.

GARDEN SERVICES SPECIALISTS in Community & Private Pools & Gardens Call Mike: 698 384 449

HOW RADIO IS PROVEN TO INCREASE SALES FOR ADVERTISERS Your weekly guide to maximising your business with TKO Media

In a world first, a study was conducted by independent analysts to address the question of the value of radio advertising and, more importantly, the return that advertisers get from their investment. The results are based on an analysis conducted by Holmes & Cook of confidential ROI data supplied by nine econometrics agencies representing all major media agency groups, covering over 2,000 individual media campaigns across 517 separate advertising campaigns. The campaigns covered ten major sectors, and used a variety of multimedia combinations. All data were supplied direct by the agencies, and unbranded to preserve client confidentiality. First-ever analysis of confidential crossagency data reveals radio’s true return on investment (ROI): • Brands using radio get their money back nearly eight times over on average, and in many sectors, radio offers the best ROI of any media • For radio campaign planners, maximising weekly coverage rather than frequency delivers significantly stronger ROI • The brands which have the highest radio

ROI use commercials which stand out, fit well with the brand and communicate information clearly • Using more radio boosts overall campaign ROI: if existing budgets are reallocated from other media to give radio a 20% share of spend, overall campaign ROI increases by 8% • For the Top 100 radio advertisers, this is equivalent to recouping over £1.4bn in untapped return on their advertising investment The implications of this study are evident: advertisers can significantly boost their campaign ROI by: • increasing share of spend on radio to around 20%, subject to media mix –

Radio enhances your other advertising campaigns if the investment is increased. • maximising radio weekly audience coverage (rather than optimizing frequency) – The extent of coverage is far more important than the number of times an advert is played. • leveraging effective creative components (stand-out; brand-fit; clarity) within radio executions – Radio enhances your brand awareness. Key Points: • On average radio advertisers get their money back 7.7 times over • Brands which reallocate more of their ad budgets to radio see significantly higher

returns It is coverage rather than frequency which boosts radio ROI • To summarise, investing in advertising on radio, on a station that has the best coverage, is a guaranteed revenue generator for businesses. In conclusion, on average, radio advertisers get their money back 7.7 times over, although some categories show exceptional performance, notably automotive and retailer brands, as well as impulse products. The top performing category is retail, with an average ROI of almost £20 for each pound spent on radio advertising. This makes radio the medium with the second-highest return on investment (TV is first), far out-performing the likes of outdoor billboard advertising. It is worth remembering that the results of this research are represented by an independent body, reinforcing the knowledge and opinion shared already by advertisers who have already tapped into this revenue generating medium, the fact that radio really does work, and the return on investment speaks for itself. If you want clients to tune in to yours business, call TKO Media today, 965 707 188 or email admin@tko.media •

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Friday 4th March 2016

Sunday Celebration

Dummy Pullers

The Orihuela Costa will be staging a series of

sporting events this Sunday (March 6th) to cel-

ebrate International Women's Day. Orihuela council's equality department has organised the day in association with Club Tragamillas, who have put together a three and a half thousand metre relay race, split into four sections. The events will be based at the Municipal Sports Centre at Playa Flamenca, and there will be races for youngsters as well as a

Pádel tournament, with an equality relay race getting the day underway at 9.30am. Orihuela sports councillor, Damaso Aparicio, said it would a good be fun day of solidarity for all of the family to get involved with, as well as giving a chance for people to check out the great facilities of the Sports Centre, which many local residents had not visited before.

Villa 6 Nations So Far... Protest TEAMS STANDINGS

450 competitors from across Spain converged on Torrevieja’s swimming pool at the Palacio de los Deportes last weekend for the 30th national lifesaving championships. Junior and senior swimmers took part

in various contests including overcoming water obstacles and swimming with a 40 kilo dummy, as well as relay races. Another lifesaving event will be staged in May aimed at encouraging sports tourism to the area.

Aston Villa fans staged a planned walkout during Tuesday's 3-1 defeat to Everton in protest against the club's owners. Thousands of home fans had already left even before the scheduled protest in the 74th minute - chosen to mark Villa's foundation in 1874 - and they missed their team's only goal scored by Rudy Gestede five minutes later. However, the match was a forgone conclusion by then with Villa, who have won just three times in 28 matches this season, left cut adrift at the bottom of the table.

Cazorla Season Danger Santi Cazorla could be in danger of missing the rest of the season after Arsene Wenger revealed the Arsenal midfielder has suffered an Achilles injury. The Spain international has suffered a setback in his recovery from knee ligament surgery by developing a problem with tendonitis, having not played for Arsenal since November. "Santi is not doing too well," Wenger said. "He has

some Achilles problems that hold him back. His knee is doing well but his Achilles has inflamed a little bit and we have to put him off impact. Asked if he is now set to return in April, Wenger replied: "We have to see now how he responds. He had always a little tendonitis on his Achilles and we have to see how he responds to that." Fellow midfielder Jack Wilshere is still looking at a minimum of three weeks

before making his own longawaited return having not played this season due to a broken fibula. "I can understand you worry for the England team. I worry as well. I'm a supporter of England." With Mikel Arteta and Tomas Rosicky also out, Wenger's options in central midfield are limited, with Alex OxladeChamberlain sidelined for "a few weeks", according to the Frenchman.

Children In Sync Torrevieja is to play host to over 400 children this weekend who will be taking part in Spain's National Synchronised swimming championships in the Alevin and Juvenil categories. Torrevieja's sports councillor, Pablo Samper (pictured right) and the president of the Royal Spanish Swimming Federation (NSFR) Fernando Carpena, officially launched the event, with competitors from 11 regions involved in combined and free routines.

REMAING FIXTURES Saturday 12 March 14:30 Ireland v Italy – Aviva Stadium - ITV 17:00 England v Wales – Twickenham - ITV Sunday 13 March 16:00 Scotland v France – Murrayfield – BBC One Saturday 19 March 15:30 Wales v Italy – Principality Stadium – BBC One 18:00 Ireland v Scotland – Aviva Stadium - ITV 21:00 France v England – Stade de France – BBC One

Follow the action on TKO FM 90.8fm & 91.9fm - Listen Live Tko.fm

Marathon, Finish! Strong winds provided the background for just over a thousand runners who took part in last Sunday’s Torrevieja Half Marathon and 10 kilometre Fun Run. Cristian Fernandez won the main event in an hour and eleven minutes, whilst Cristina González took the women’s event. Finnish youngster Henrik Goesch was the Fun Run victor in 34 minutes.

Friday 4th March 2016

Ivie Davies on Golf

Marriage of Convenience?

Is time for the PGA Tour and the European Tour to merge and to create the ultimate World Golf Tour? I’m asking the question on the back of the news that the European Tour is reducing the number of tournaments players must enter to retain membership from 13 to five which once again raises the issue of whether having a PGA Tour and European Tour competing with each other makes any sense. European Tour chief executive Keith Pelley says: "The change to our minimum tournament requirement for the 2016 season recognises that many of our members are global players who, at the same time, wish to remain loyal to the European Tour". Of course the issue facing the European Tour is that more and more of its members are basing themselves in America, where favourable conditions make year-round practice far easier and bigger events mean more money. So it time to merge the PGA Tour and European Tour to create a simpler,

marketeer's dream of a World Golf Tour? There is an argument for it, but I also think the European Tour should tread carefully. What's the root of the problem? You’re one of the world’s best golfers. Do you:- A) Buy yourself a mansion in Florida, practice in short sleeves all year round, and play competitive events with bulging prize funds every week. Or: - B) Stay in Europe, deal with the weather, and play events of mixed quality for half the money available to you in the US? I smell a no-brainer here! You can’t blame the likes of Rory McIlroy, Justin Rose, Luke Donald, Lee Westwood, Graeme McDowell and Ian Poulter for choosing option ‘A’, but it does mean the European Tour is missing a lot of star power on a regular basis. It’s a vicious circle: if you don’t have the big money, you can’t attract the best players. If you don’t have the best players, you can’t attract the big money. The situation isn’t

helped by the fact that American universities offer golf scholarships to the hottest prospects, meaning many future stars are based over there before they even turn pro. It’s the standard run-ofthe-mill European Tour events that are suffering with the fields. The first thing a sponsor asks is ‘Who is playing?’ It doesn’t take a mathematical genius to work out that the economy in Europe is still not very good. The European Tour schedule is hardly strong with a deck of three to five million euro events! Would a merger solve the problem? We know the American Tour is the best in the world. And if they’re considering buying the European Tour and then running it, what’s the problem with that. It didn’t do Manchester United any harm when they were bought by Americans (leave the post-Ferguson management situation out of it!). It could be good for Europe. Lee Westwood thinks it would benefit golf on a global scale: “We need to pull everything together

and try to play the best fields against each other as often as possible to make golf more visible”. There is definitely an argument for having one global tour. How would it work? I would go with the weather and make sure they play everywhere in the world a little bit, even countries where they normally don’t go. That sounds like a nice idea if you’re in the top 50, but what impact would a merger have on the players in the bottom half of the table on both tours? Unless field sizes double, which would be impossible, half of the players currently plying their trade on the PGA or European Tour would be left out in the cold. What problems would it cause? Aside from having to cull half of the current players, a tour that attempts to cover the world may mean that some regions are neglected. In 2015, the European Tour held 24 events in Europe, visiting Morocco, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, Austria, Ireland, Germany, France, Scotland, Russia,

Denmark, Czech Republic, Italy, Switzerland, Holland, England, Wales, and Turkey. A global tour, even with a packed 48week schedule, would mean many of these countries lose their event. Is it likely to happen? To an extent, a global tour has already emerged. Nearly half of the European Tour takes place outside Europe, visiting South Africa, Hong Kong, UAE, Qatar, Malaysia, China, Singapore, and Australia. I absolutely do see the PGA Tour, the European Tour, the Asian Tour, and the Australia Tour somehow turning into some sort of global world tour. It may take another two or three years, but eventually it will come. If the European Tour is fragile, why would the PGA Tour want to buy it? The European Tour has, largely by necessity, already made greater steps towards globalisation than the PGA Tour. The PGA Tour has been trying to play catch-up of late, recently purchasing the Canadian Tour and Latin American Tour.

Acquiring the European Tour and its established links in Asia and the Middle East would be a quick way to broaden the exposure and revenue of the game’s leading franchise and most recognisable tour brand. The integration of professional golf can create additional value for our players, sponsors and fans. MY VERDICT It’s something that will have to be regularly assessed as time goes by, but for now, I don’t think the European Tour needs saving. Events are still well attended, and there’s no doubt that a merger would cause some countries to miss out and leave half of all current Tour pros struggling to make a living. The European Tour is visiting an increasingly diverse collection of countries, helping to promote and grow the game worldwide. Putting all of golf’s eggs in one Americanfocused basket would put European golf at the mercy of the PGA and there would be no going back. It’s not a decision that should – be taken lightly.

TITTER ON THE TEE • The Grim Reaper came for a guy last night, and he beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. • A man went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As he was standing there he noticed four grave diggers walking about with a coffin. Three hours later and they're still walking about with it. He thought to himself, they've lost the plot!! • My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were seventy euros! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. • A guy starts a new job in Seoul next week. He thought it was a good Korea move. • A bloke’s wife has been missing a week now, and police have said to prepare for the worst. So he’s been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

The Courier Sport

Friday 4th March 2016

Long Shot Squashed

Barclays Premier League Saturday 5 March

13:45 Tottenham Hotspur v Arsenal 16:00 Chelsea v Stoke City 16:00 Everton v West Ham United 16:00 Manchester City v Aston Villa 16:00 Newcastle United v Bournemouth 16:00 Southampton v Sunderland 16:00 Swansea City v Norwich City 18:30 Watford v Leicester City

Sunday 6 March

14:30 Crystal Palace v Liverpool 17:00 West Bromwich Albion v Manchester United

Sky Bet Championship Friday 4 March 20:45 Middlesbrough v Wolverhampton Wanderers

Saturday 5 March

CREVILLENTE DEPORTIVO 3 CD TORREVIEJA 0 Jet black clouds enveloped the start of Torrevieja’s away fixture last Sunday and that provided a somewhat appropriate backdrop as Torry relinquished their 11 match unbeaten record by failing to have the same precision and clinical finishing demonstrated by Creviillente. Thehome side soaked up loads of Torry pressure, corner after corner, but when they got their chances, they took them gloriously. The normally mean CD Torrevieja defence imploded, closing any slim chance of the team making this season’s play-off’s.

It looked as though the back line had been strengthened, with the welcome return of Javi Selvas after his shoulder dislocation, but rudimentary errors allowed the hosts to capitalise and fire home three good goals. Rafa Gomez had an early opportunity, sailing clear of defenders but Oscar came out to narrow his sight on goal and turned the shot away for a corner. Torry earned half a dozen corners in the first fifteen minutes with Martin having a couple of chances to open the scoring. He got his head to one that went close, then had the ball

stuck under his feet when a little composure would have done the job. Vicente brought out the best in Oscar who tipped his thirty yard screamer just over the bar for yet another corner. It was Torry who did most of the pressing, but it was Crevillente who were clinical when it came to taking their chances. It was former Torry striker Abraham who netted a fine goal on seven minutes after receiving a header from close to the byeline. 13 minutes later, Jaime Jornet won the ball ten yards outside the Torry box and lost no time in cracking home a

fierce drive. The in-formhosts wrapped up the match with a quick break midway through the second period, once again Miguel left in an impossible position as Jesus Planelles drove home the third. Torry rang the changes, using all three substitutes and although Lewis Allen smacked the crossbar with a good effort, it was a clear cut victory for a side that started with three former Torry men and had another, Cesar, on the bench. It’s another away local trip Sunday away to the old rivals Orihuela, with a 4.30 pm kick-off at the Los Arcos stadium.

Fructu Frustrates Monte SPORTING ORIHUELA 1 CD MONTESINOS 1

Palm trees, a setting sun behind the mountains, and a strong wind was last Sunday’s setting for a bitterly cold encounter which was keenly contested, with the draw being a fair result. It brought to an end Monte’s six-match unbeaten streak, with Sporting’s attacking instincts being quelled by

Monte’s defence, with the visitors having to settle for a point because of not converting their many chances and home keeper Fructu in fine form. Sporting goalkeeper, Fructu, had to produce an excellent diving save after a Macan “one on one” after just three minutes. Two minutes later a

20-yard Jose free kick saw Fructu deliver a great save, though the keeper nearly caught out in the seventh minute, when Dario F saw him come off the line, and shot from inside his own half, and only just went over the crossbar. The visitor’s largely dominated, and they got their reward just before

half-tome, when a long range shot from Mario defeated the seemingly infallible Fructu to give Montesinos the lead. The second half continued in the same vein with two more good saves from Monte attacks, and there was a certainly inevitability that with chances not being converted, Sporting would get an equaliser, and so it proved with 20 minutes to go. The ball came out from the Orihuela defence, through the centre of the field to split Monte's defence, resulting in a low shot from leading scorer Yoel beating Monte’s Lopez in goal. More Monte attacks followed though but they could not get the winner, even when the home side were down to ten men in the closing minutes. That when Sporting’s number five, César, who had had a good game all over the pitch and organising his team, was sent off for a foul and second yellow. Sixthplaced Monte now entertain Callosa Deportiva B this Sunday afternoon with a 4.30 pm kick-off.

13:00 13:30 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Bristol City v Cardiff City Burnley v Blackburn Rovers Brentford v Charlton Athletic Derby County v Huddersfield Town Ipswich Town v Nottingham Forest Leeds United v Bolton Wanderers MK Dons v Queens Park Rangers Preston North End v Brighton and Hove Albion Reading v Fulham Sheffield Wednesday v Rotherham United

Tuesday 8 March 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 21:00

Blackburn Rovers v Birmingham City Brighton & Hove Albion v Sheffield Wednesday Cardiff City v Leeds United Charlton Athletic v MK Dons Fulham v Burnley Huddersfield Town v Reading Nottingham Forest v Preston North End Queens Park Rangers v Derby County Rotherham United v Middlesbrough Wolverhampton Wanderers v Bristol City Bolton Wanderers v Ipswich Town

Scottish Premiership Saturday 5 March

16:00 Hamilton Academical v Motherwell 16:00 Heart of Midlothian v Partick Thistle

Tuesday 8 March

20:45 Partick Thistle v Aberdeen

Wednesday 9 March

20:45 St. Johnstone v Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Spanish La Liga Saturday 5 March 16:00 18:15 20:30 22:05

Real Madrid v Celta de Vigo Villarreal v Las Palmas Getafe v Sevilla Deportivo de La Coruña v Málaga

Sunday 6 March 12:00 16:00 18:15 18:15 20:30

Real Betis v Granada CF Eibar v Barcelona Real Sociedad v Levante Sporting de Gijón v Athletic Club Valencia CF v Atlético de Madrid

Monday 7 March 20:30 Espanyol v Rayo Vallecano

Champions League Tuesday 8 March 20:45 Real Madrid v Roma 20:45 VfL Wolfsburg v KAA Gent

Wednesday 9 March 18:00 Zenit St Petersburg v Benfica 20:45 Chelsea v Paris Saint-Germain

UEFA Europa League Thursday 10 March 19:00 Borussia Dortmund v Tottenham Hotspur 19:00 FC Basel v Sevilla 19:00 Fenerbahçe v Sporting Braga 19:00 Shakhtar Donetsk v RSC Anderlecht 21:05 Athletic Club v Valencia CF 21:05 Liverpool v Manchester United 21:05 Sparta Prague v Lazio 21:05 Villarreal v Bayer 04 Leverkusen

The FA Cup Tuesday 8 March 20:00 Hull City v Arsenal

Friday 4th March 2016

Unstoppable Barca

Real Woe

REAL MADRID 0 ATLETICO MADRID 1

BARCELONA 2 SEVILLA 1

Barcelona made it 34 games unbeaten as they came from behind to beat Sevilla and to equal Real Madrid's 28-year-old record. Vitolo gave Sevilla the lead midway through the first-half before Lionel Messi's free-kick levelled the game and Gerard Pique netted the winner just after half-time. Luis Enrique's side have not been beaten in all competitions since they lost to Sevilla in the league in October, levelling a record Real Madrid set for a La Liga side in 1988. Barca are eight points clear at the top of the table, and played away at Rayo Vallecano last night after The Courier went to press. They go to Eibar this Sunday afternoon.

Ronaldo Retreats Cristiano Ronaldo has apologised to his Real Madrid team-mates for claiming they are not at his level. Following their Atletico defeat last weekend, Ronaldo was quoted as saying: “If we were all at my level, maybe we would be La Liga leaders.” “I don’t want to disrespect anyone, but when the best players aren’t available it’s harder to win. I like to play with Karim [Benzema], with [Gareth] Bale, with Marcelo. I’m not saying the others like Lucas Vazquez, Jesé [Rodriguez] and Mateo Kovacic are not good players. They are very good players, but it’s not the same.” According to El Mundo, Ronaldo apologised to his team-mates via WhatsApp, and in an interview with Marca, the 31-year-old is reported as saying: “I was referring to the physical level, not level of play. I am not better than any of my team-mates.”

Rearguard Failure REAL OVIEDO 3 ELCHE 0

Atletico Madrid became the first team in La Liga history to win three games in a row at the Bernabeu after last weekend’s victory over rivals Real in the Madrid derby, which also put to an end Real’s slim hopes of mounting any sort of title challenge to leaders Barcelona. After an uneventful first half, Antoine Griezmann opened the scoring early in the second half following a fine, flowing counter-attack. Cristiano Ronaldo should have equalised in the 69th minute but headed straight at Jan Oblak in the Atletico goal when unmarked.

Unimpressive Win LEVANTE 1 REAL MADRID 3

Real Madrid closed the gap on the top two in La Liga with an unconvincing victory over rock-bottom Levante on Wednesday. Cristiano Ronaldo's 23rd top-flight goal on the season - a 34th-minute penalty - set Madrid on their way to victory before debutant Borja Mayoral forced Levante stopper Diego Marino to turn the ball into his own net four minutes later. Acosta Deyverson pulled on back for the hosts 80 seconds later, but that was all they could muster as it was left for substitute Isco to wrap up the victory in stoppage time with Real's third. Real entertain Celta Vigo tomorrow afternoon.

Title Run-In

The Courier Sport

FOXES S R U O Y S IT’ TO LOSE

! R E T S E LEIC SPURS TITLE BID DENTED

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CITY LOSE GROUND

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ARSENAL MISERY...

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>> Jamie Vardy failed TOP FOUR REMAINING FIXTURES This really ended up being something of a mismatch as the Ilicitanos tried to be a like a boxer on the ropes looking for one counter-punch that bring their opponent down, but it wasn’t to be, as the promotion-chasing home side struck three times in the last fifteen minutes. Elche certainly seemed content to try and get and a point and top striker Sergio León cut something of a lonely figure as he frustratingly waited for something to get his teeth into. As soon as Oviedo took the lead in the 76th minute, plans were torn up, and there were more defensive holes to plunder, as the home side scored twice more to make things look straight-forward at the end. The Ilicitanos lie 10th in the table, and have a good chance to get things back on the road as they entertain bottom side Llagostera tomorrow afternoon.

Transfer Gossip Manchester United's interest in a £62m move for Napoli's 28-year-old Argentine striker GONZALO HIGUAIN is now rivalled by a potential bid from Liverpool. Chelsea have held talks with the representatives of Roma midfielder MIRALEM PJANIC, who has been recommended by the London club's prospective new manager Antonio Conte, and established the 25-year-old has a £31m buyout clause. EDEN HAZARD would only entertain leaving Chelsea for Real Madrid, despite talk of a switch to Paris St Germain. PEP GUARDIOLA will consider adding MIKEL ARTETA to his backroom staff at Man City if the Arsenal midfielder retires at the end of the season.

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 4th March 2016

STAY IN CHARGE!!! LEICESTER 2-2 WEST BROM

FOXES D N E T X E

T A D A LE TOP!

The Latest Sport Headlines Sydney Roosters' Pearce gets eight-game ban for lewd act with dog Olympic flag Refugee team confirmed for Rio Olympics Tiger Woods Boy, 11, hits hole-in-one Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp A great night for Liverpool lovers Mauricio Pochettino and Arsene Wenger Wenger 'worried' as challengers falter GB team sprinters blame bosses for Rio miss

King Willy (Of Elche)!

to find the net for Leicester agiainst West Brom

Roundup Deportivo La Coruna are lining up an offer for Aston Villa midfielder CARLOS SANCHEZ. Besiktas defender ISMAIL KOYBASI on Jurgen Klopp's radar. Borussia Dortmund are to sell £23m midfielder ILKAY GUNDOGAN in the summer, and the Gunners are weighing up move. CRISTIANO RONALDO and SERGIO RAMOS 'set to join Manchester United' for at least £115m after they reportedly handed in transfer requests at Real Madrid. Meanwhile, Valencia want to offer GARY NEVILLE a two-year contract extension on the back of his recent one-match winning run.

In Sunday’s thrilling Capital One Cup Final, Manchester City eventually overcame Liverpool after extra time when the final score was 1 -1. The dramatic penalty shootout immediately looked bad for City as Fernandino missed the first spot-kick for City as James Milner scored, but then ex-Elche goalkeeper Willy Caballero stepped in to save three on the trot to give City the first silverware of the season. The big Argentinean spent seven seasons at Elche, playing 200 games for the Illicitanos before moving to Malaga, then managed by present City boss Manuel Pellegrini. When City moved for Pellegrini, Caballero soon followed and has been the Blues’ stand-in for England’s Joe Hart ever since. No doubt about it, Willy was the hero on Sunday with his excellent saves! After

their Wednesday night shocker at Anfield, City appear to have a home banker this weekend this Saturday against hapless and apparently doomed Aston Villa, though Pellegrini’s side have now lost their last three league matches! Instead of Canaries, there are now Carrion Crows circling Carrow Road. Norwich are in big trouble down in the DDD, as Tuesday’s narrow 2 – 1 defeat by Chelsea means the long visit to Swales to face happier-these-days Swansea is very significant for Alex James’ men. Everton were the latest heartless hunters to put the boot into the coffin of Aston Villa’s Premier league status with a resounding 3 – 0 win in Brum. Toffees striker Romelu Lukaku has now scored 17 goals, a Premier record for the Blues but now Everton face exuber-

ant fifth-placed West Ham, conquerors of Tottenham, that looks a good game. Bournemouth gave their Premier survival hopes another huge boost on Tuesday with a sound 2 – 0 win over high-flying neighbours Southampton. The Cherries are now eight points above the Dreaded Drop Department and now face a very long trip to Newcastle at the weekend, but one which could seal survival with a positive result. The Saints now entertain Sunderland who drew a 2 – 2 thriller with Crystal Palace, the Eagles fluttering all over the place currently with Liverpool coming on Sunday. At Stamford Bridge, Guus Hiddink has done wonders with a previously demoralised Chelsea side that looked in big trouble earlier this season. With the Blues’ latest 2 – 1 away win at troubled Norwich Chelsea have climbed back up to eighth and entertain stiffening Stoke on Saturday. No rest for the weary though, as on Tuesday a massive European match at the Bridge sees the return leg of the Champions League quarter final against those wealthy French champions PSG. Chelsea are 2 – 1 down from the first leg: good luck, lads!

Rory McIlroy McIlroy to change putting technique Murray plans to play whole Davis Cup Celtic's lead cut to four points with draw Sarah Tait: Australia's London 2012 rowing medallist dies aged 33 Fernando Alonso: McLaren-Honda driver says he can be world champion Stan Wawrinka claims Dubai Tennis Championship crown Olympics 2016: I'd support Geraint Thomas in Rio, says Chris Froome World Indoors: Greg Rutherford heads 23strong Great Britain team

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REVENGE IS SWEET!

N O D N O L

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E C N U O B BACK!

Vs s d n a m e D i in r Pelleg Instant Response Liverpool’s three-nil Wednesday win over Manchester City meant that the Reds got their own back after Sunday’s League Cup Final defeat, and in the process doing serious damage to City hopes of winning the league this time. Despite having spent a fortune, that’s three losses on the spin for City – not good, despite (just) winning the Capital One Cup (see King Willy overleaf). By contrast Liverpool were irresistible with Lallana, Milner,Toure et al everywhere, all in superb form, amazing after Sunday’s sad result. This Sunday the Reds travel to inconsistent Crystal Palace, and if the performance against City continues the Eagles will need to be at their best to avoid a hammering. Talking of revivals Man United managed to put plucky Watford away 1 – 0, but it took an 83rd minute Juan Mata free kick to settle it. That result puts the Red Devils on level terms with nasty neighbours City nuked abjectly

at Liverpool. United visit West Brom on Sunday, and need to keep the recent revival results right to get back on course for Europe. In a Tuesday thriller which swung both ways, titletilters Leicester drew a feisty Midlands battle 2 – 2 with West Brom. The Foxes went 1 – 0 down, then 2 -1 up, but the battling Baggies equalised near the end to keep Blue hearts pumping with excitement and anticipation. Now with a fascinating match away to Watford on Saturday evening those fighting Foxes will need all their animal instincts to stay ahead of the pack. Spurs’ hot breath can be felt on their necks, but Tottenham blew the chance to go top on Wednesday going down 1 – 0 to West Ham - the scorer? Who else but the man of the moment Michail Antonio, to keep the Hammers banging on the Top Four door to Europe, only just behind the Manchesters.

COLEMAN’S MURRAY COMMITS REWARD Chris Coleman is set to open contract talks with the Football Association of Wales. Coleman's current deal expires this summer he is expected to be rewarded with a new contract as he guided Wales to the 2016 European Championships. He was the first Welsh boss to qualify for a major tournament since the 1958 World Cup.

Andy Murray says he will play a full part in Great Britain's Davis Cup defence. He previously suggested that playing the whole competition would be tough in a congested summer that includes the Olympics. Before this weekend's 1st round tie against Japan he said he would play in a quarter-final that falls between Wimbledon and the Rio Games.

Sigh.… once again, just when it matters Arsenal are failing. This time when a sound home win against lowly opposition was needed to keep Prem hopes alive, and even going a goal up the Gunners inexplicably lost 2 – 1 to a reviving Swansea, the plucky Swalians now steadily distancing themselves from the Dreaded Drop Department. Super Saturday kicks off with the regular North London derby, but this year, there is much much more at stake than normal pride and prejudice. For Spurs v Arsenal at this vital stage of the season the result means everything - because Spurs sit second and lead their nastiest neighbours and hated rivals Arsenal by three points, although both opponents lost on Wednesday: game on!

TOON

D E R O O FL Reviving Stoke travelled to nervy Newcastle on Wednesday where an 80th minute goal from Shaqiri sank the home team to anchor the Geordies firmly in the bottom three, but propel The Potters up to a serious seventh place. Now a visit to Stamford Bridge this Saturday will test Chelsea’s own revival. In the DDD, it’s looking like three from four to go down between Sunderland, Norwich, and Newcastle fighting it out not to join (doomed) Aston Villa.

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47