The Jungle Drums - October 2010

THE COSTA’S FAVOURITE MAG’!

This Month: 3 X pages.. ..WHAT’S ON IN YOUR AREA? RENT A CAR.. paying too much?

BRITISH TV CAPITAL GAINS TAX LEGAL ADVICE

Plus…

LOADS & LOADS OF FUN!!

GRAN ALA

CANT - SAN NOW G CA TA POLA - LA T R AL - ALBATE MARINA - GU RIN E V R O A - HO C ARD TORREVIEJA

NDONS - LA AMAR - ROJ ROMANA & ALES - CABO ROIG P IN OSO - HABA - PUNTA PRIM NERAS A & PLAYA F LAMENCA

DID YOU KNOW?

I’M TURNING MY NOSE UP TO THAT ONE…

......that Cuerpo Nacional de Policía uniform was formerly brown, thus leading to their nickname of la madera/los maderos?

this month month this 4/5

SPEAKING SPANISH...

6 COLIN slang for all...

If, and, when, I ever die can whoever is in charge of the reincarnation department do me a favour if you’re reading this up there (obviously I’m going up; destined to play a harp on a cloud for eternity…) and

a man in need of help...

9 NATURE...

ANDREA...

just make sure that I don’t come back as a dog?

fan beltgains warmer...? capital tax...

The thought of greeting other ‘people’ by having a sniff…well you don’t need me to tell

19 FINANCIAL TIMES. 11 LEGAL MATTERS... money, money, money...

you…is the main thing that puts me off. I mean, come on, I’m a bit reluctant to even shake hands with some of my mates let alone…nuff said I think.

FREE lawyers...!

27 GUARDAMAR... things to do...

17 NATURE... mosquitos...

28 SANTA POLA... winging it...

19 RENTING A CAR 29 ALACANT... howGRAN much..? maureen in the USA..

So what have we got you this month? All the usual experts are on board again with Malcolm Palmer, our resident (and cheap) nature expert, giving us the low down on Mosquitos while computer man Richard Cavender (also cheap) tells readers how they can save money by obtaining discount vouchers online. Andrea Burns has words of wisdom that’ll steer you through the maze of Spanish bureaucracy by giving advice on all things fiscal and while the experts sweat over their typewriters (I know it’s PC’s

21 COMPUTERS...

31 QUESADA... crazy horse writes... vouchers..

now but it sounds better…) the rest of us are off to play paintball this month! Come

33 LA MARINA...

23 news PUZZLES... urb and events...

der...

25 FANTASY FOOTY...

6 COLIN a in need it’sman kicked off... of help...

the countryside…I have) for

9 NATURE...

31 belt BRITISH TV... fan warmer...?

to see if i can come in

or not, and they’ve read the article I

did about religion last

Christmas, then I’ve had it, I think.

along if you want to and invite

can we watch it...?.

19 FINANCIAL TIMES. money, money, 33 YOUR CARmoney...

IN SPAIN... be legal, and safe...

27 GUARDAMAR...

a full day of fun and well, paint I guess.

Going back a bit to what

I said earlier…I suppose, at the end of the

day, if there is someone

up there at the Pearly Gates, checking

Having said

that…living in a hot place, full of noise,

debauchery

and the like won’t be much different to

where I live

things to do...

37 LETTERS..

28 SANTA & expat life...POLA... winging it...

the mother in law (tell her it’s a quiet picnic in

now! And if it means I haven’t got to

learn the

harp and wear a sheet then I think I’ll

take the

down escalator come the day.

39 GRAN HOROSCOPES...

29 ALACANT... star gazing JDUSA.. style... maureen in the

31 QUESADA...

41 JOKES & JOKES... crazy horse writes...

Read on and enjoy…

hold your sides folks...!

33 LA MARINA... urb newsWHAT’S and events...

48-51 ON...? fiestas, events, trips...

p.s. If my neighbours are reading this… it was just a joke, honestly…unless you’re blushing off course…

and much much more

and much much more

Advertising in the Jungle Drums

just got

CHEAPER!

call now 96 669 5141 - 606 540 408

email: ask@thejungledrums.com

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‘till XMAS!

www.TorreviejaForums.com For everything to do with Torrevieja and all areas from Alicante to Murcia (coastal and inland)

contact us on: 96 669 5141 - 606 540 408 - ask@thejungledrums.com

3

offer ends -ask instore

PROPERTIES WANTED

20â‚Ź

PAYOUT

David Vaughan-Griffiths N.I.F. X-479962D

Tel.

4

for any recommendation that becomes a management contract

0034 660 907 228 - Email: david_dandgrentals@hotmail.com

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

CALLING ALL GUIRIS As if learning S panish wasn’t h ard enough already!

Oon-a ka-bra) T o be completely We often hear th crazy, nuts, bonkers. e Spanish sayin g things that no matter Guarro = (gwahow hard you tr Ro) Filthy, disg y, you won’t find them usting.

G uay = (gwhy) C in any dictiona ool. ¡Qué guay! ry because, co like all languag = How ol! How cool is es, they have th that! eir own slang words tha Guiri = (gEE-r t are frequently ee) Foreigner in used by all generations Spain, es pecially an Ang and sexes. So to lo-Saxon or nort help you along your way hern European foreig we’ve put toget ner. This word her some of the most use ca n be as affectionate or as ful (?) and com disparaging as th mon words and phrases th e sp in eaker tends to make it at you may wel . l hear your Spanish neighb Operación bik our shouting. ini = (oh-per-ah -the-own be-key-knee) T h e pre-summer cu Casero = (ka-sa stom many people hav yr-Oh) Landlord e of exercising, . But remember: Cas going on a diet, joining a era, apart from gym, and other a female landlord, is a so ac tivities associated with da that, mixed in wanting to look to red wine, makes tin g o od in a b ikini or swimsu to de verano, a it. light summer drink. And Tener un rollo as an adjective, = (ten-air Oon R casero means home-m oy-yo) To have a fling or a ade casual sex partn Chalado = (chaer.

Tío bueno / tía la-doe) Crazy o buena = (tea-y r nuts.

Estar chalado o bwen-oh / tea-ya bwen-ah = To be crazy o ) A hot guy / ho r nuts.

Chapuza = (ch t girl. Or a hunk / hottie. a-poo-the) Shod dy work.

Chaval / chava Topmanta = (to la = (cha-ball / pp-mahn-tah) Il cha-ball-ah) Guy, boy, kid, la legal street vendor who dis d / girl. plays his wares Currar = (coo-r (o ften pirated or coun Ar) To work (a terfeited goods) verb). Your sq workplace or jo o n a small uare of cloth – b is your curro. a manta / blank Cutre = (coo-tra et, if you will – that is han y) Cheap, seedy, dily bundled up shabby, tacky, kitschy, ch at a moment’s notice b eesy. y the vendor, w De puta madre h o often flees when the p = (day poo-ta m olice appear. a-dray) Bloody awesom e, really kickass.

Entender = (en Remember that -ten-dare) To be many words in gay. How- d ever, the primar Spanish are ependent on the y definition of th context they are e Spanish word entender is used in so before you sh to understand, so oot out and ask keep in mind that if so the woman next door if she’ meone at a bar s gay…try and asks you “¿Entiendes?” it w ork it into a sentence that could just as lik makes sense. A ely be a reflection on yo lso don’t forget that these ur Spanish skills are slang words as an attempt to find ou and should really only be u t your sexual pre sed in informal ferences.

Estar como un si tu ations and not when y a cabra = (es-ta ou’re addressin r ko-mo g th e bride’s mother for exam ple…

5

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DRAIN CLEARANCE & REPAIR CCTV INSPECTIONS & SURVEYS LOCKSMITHS DRAIN TRACING ROOT REMOVAL HIGH PRESSURE CLEANING PLUMBING MAINTENANCE & COMMUNITY PACKAGES

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

7

ALTOMAR FINE FINISHING

PROPERTY MAINTENANCE & IMPROVEMENTS S P E C I A L I S T S I N WA L K - I N S H O W E R S PAINTING & DECORATING - GENERAL BUILDING TILING - BALLUSTRADES - SCREEN BLOCKS ELECTRICAL - PLUMBING - DRAINPIPES -GUTTERING LOCKS CHANGED - SHUTTER REPAIRS BOILERS - WATER FILTERS - KITCHEN WORKTOPS GALVANISED GRILLS & GATES Phone Eddie

TEL: 966 699 353 - MOBILE: 648 786 708

LEASEHOLD

FOR SALE

near the future street market in Gran Alacant.

Bar-Restaurant with full equipped kitchen.

Corner local with seaview and terrace with extention possibilities.

Local 100m2 possible to expand to 200m2 (two floors)

Asking price: 60.000€ (Negotiable) Tel: 616 581 472 email: paulvds1@hotmail.com 8

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

REFUNDING OF

CAPITAL GAINS TAX

andrea burns

QUALIFIED GESTORA

Only a couple of months ago I wrote about the ins and outs of the Capital Gains Tax, for those that have not read it I will give a brief summary of the documents required below.

In the case that the tax payment retained at the moment of your sale is in excess of your actual capital gains tax bill and you are entitled to a refund, then please read on.

First of all I have to stress the importance to see your fiscal representative before you finalise your sale at the notary. He or she will calculate your actual capital gains tax for you and discuss the paperwork that needs to be presented along with it. You will most likely have to dig out a few old invoices and once you have signed the sales deed there is usually very little time left to tie-up all the loose ends.

And here a summary of the most important pieces of information regarding this tax:

SPANISH PROBATE/INHERITANCES SPANISH WILLS CONVEYANCING POWER OF ATTORNEY

Fiscal help...

• Residents declare the said tax in their annual income tax declaration, in the year following the sale • Non-residents have a deadline of 4 months from the date of sale.

• You will be taxed on the net profit made on the property.

• Expenses that will be taken into consideration are those directly related to the house but not the household and only official invoices will be accepted.

NOTARY DEEDS PRIVATE SALES CONTRACTS FISCAL REPRESENTATION CAPITAL GAINS TAX NON-RESIDENTS' INCOME TAX

• The most important expenses will be those that you had at the time of purchasing, i.e. VAT, notary and land registry fees,

N.I.E. NUMBERS

• And those when selling, i.e. plusvalía (ground rates) and agent’s fees

RESIDENCE CERTIFICATES

• Proof of your wealth and income tax payments made as a non-resident.

And finally, refunds will be made only to a Spanish account held by the tax-payer.

URB. DON PUEBLO II BW 140 GRAN ALACANT 96 669 7824 or 639 608 969 ANDREABURNS@ORANGE.ES ‘SINCE 1991’

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

9

October Offers SALE! Homes in Spain La Marina La Marina

ALGORFA

Ref:477 50,000€

La Marina

Ground floor apartment 2 bed, 1 bath

La Marina Ref:476 94,000€

Ref:439 110,000€

Quad style. 2 bed 1 bath

Detached villa 2 bed, 1 bath large plot

Duplex, corner plot 2 bed, 1 bath.

La Marina

Ref:475 129,000€

La Marina

Ref:474 130,000€

La Marina

Townhouse 3 bed, 2 bath

TORREVIEJA Ref:433 122,500€

Ref:346 165,000€

Detached 3 bed, 2 bath, Pool

Detached 2 bed, 1 bath

Ref:469

79,950€

Terraced 2 bed, 2 bath, Solarium

LA MARINA LA MARINA

Ref:463 86,000€

LA MARINA

Ground floor apartment..

2 beds, 1 bath

ALBATERA Ref:454 144,500€ Ref:457 78,500€ Terraced 2 bed, 2 bath, Solarium

etached, 2 bed, 2 bath, Com Pool.

Ref:468 116,500€ Quad 3 bed, 2 bath

Ref 455 249,000€

Avda. Londres 1-A, Local 8, Urb. La Marina San Fulgencio Office: 96 679 5233 email:info@ipgspain.com Visit our website to view our extensive range of properties:www.ipgspain.com 10

ask@thejungledrums.com

Country villa, 2 beds, 2 baths, ( sep chalet 1 bed, 1bath)

We would like to take this opportunity to introduce Pellicer & Heredia law firm. They specialize in estate planning, real estate transactions, traffic matters, litigation, corporate, international business, finance, taxation, construction claims, debt recovery, starting of new business, tax advisors, and many others such as general gestor services covering driving licences, residency etc so you need not worry about the confusing application forms.

DID YOU KNOW THAT...?

Their aim is to provide the best possible advice and

OUR SERVICES INCLUDE

service to clients in an efficient, cost-effective and practical manner, while at the same time preserving the

- If you are thinking about opening a business in

elements of a personalised traditional legal advisor-

Spain, you should seek legal advice before signing on

client relationship.

the dotted line?

They have offices in Hondon, Petrer, Fortuna and

- If you are buying or selling a property in Spain, it

Alicante, conveniently located in the same building as

is essential to seek independent legal advice?

the British Consul in Plaza Calvo Sotelo, near to Cortes - A Spanish Will is not legally required here,

Ingles in the centre of Alicante.

although it is highly recommended, especially if you

The partners are fully qualified and benefit from having worked in England. Therefore, not only do they speak excellent English, they also understand the problems that Expats can have trying to deal with Spanish laws and taxation. They have already helped many clients achieve the many benefits of being fiscally resident in Spain. (Are you sure your Spanish tax affairs are in

& own a property or other assets in Spain? A well-

drafted estate plan is your assurance that the costs associated with your death will be kept to the very minimum.

- If you own a property in joint ownership and would like to sell it, under Spanish Law, you can do so by following the correct procedure?

order?)

Being qualified barristers they are competent to represent you in the Spanish Courts. Their fees are based on the Spanish Law Society recommended rates. Readers

of The Jungle Drums can take advantage of their special offer of a free first consultation on a no obligation basis.

- Depending on whether you are a non-resident or a resident in Spain,

you will

be taxed

accordingly?

It is not dif-

ficult to become

Whatever your legal needs are, you can rely on Pellicer and Heredia to put your legal interests as their first priority being a totally independent company.

a tax resident & conse-

quently pay far less tax.

We speak your language and can advise you on all the topics mentioned in this article as well as: - Acting for clients wishing to claim against developers that have defaulted on an agreed delivery date of a property.

- Divorces - Even if your spouse has now left Spain, you may also be able to divorce here, so long as certain conditions are met.

- Rentals, leases and all types of tenancy, whether commercial or private should be adequately drafted, in order for you to be legally protected.

- We can check that the house you are interested in buying is free of any charges and that there are no debts or other liabilities against the property, as well as making sure that the owner has the right to sell the property before you even sign the purchase contract!

Independent Conveyancing

Wills, Probate & Inheritance

Tax Advisors, Chartered Accountants & Surveyors Defective & Illegal Construction Claims

Vehicle and Drivers Licence / Traffic Registration Litigation In All Law Fields

PEACE OF MIND FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

Plaza Calvo Sotelo 1 (Below the British Consulate) ALICANTE Cantral plaza 30 HONDON DE LAS NIEVES C/ Libertad 18 FORTUNA

Av.de Madrid 60 PETRER

11

ARE YOU BORED WITH THE TV STATIONS YOU RECEIVE? We can help with our BLACK BOX

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your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

Email: info@lemar.es

TRADE IN PLAN* FROM 1st OCTOBER

SAVE UP TO €125 ON YOUR NEW APPLIANCE

*Trade in Plan is funded by la Generalitat Valenciana and therefore it is obligatory to present your DNI or NIE. You must also exchange your old White Goods for your new purchase.

Samsung Fridge Freezer

Samsung Washing Machine

RL-34LCSW 177 X 60 (A+)

PVP €449 OUR PRICE €354,72

SAVE €73,90

WF-8602 6kg, 1200rpm

PVP €349 OUR PRICE €275,10

SAVE €94,28 PVP €380 OUR PRICE €299,50

Bosch Dishwasher S65-44E62 AAA White

Beko Washing Machine

WML-15106 D A-10% 5kg, 1000rpm

PVP €269 OUR PRICE €212,00

SAVE €57,00

SAVE €80,50

Photos displayed are representative and not necessarily items on sale.

LA MARINA

Plaza Sierra Castilla, Local, 10 (next to CAM) Urbanizacion La Marina, San Fulgencio

Tel: 96 679 7703

GRAN ALACANT

Avda. Finlandia 23, Bloque 3 Local. 2 Urb. Gran Alacant, Santa Pola

Tel: 96 669 5365

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

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THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

WANT TO BUY? CAN’T SELL?

URGENT MORTGAGES

Notarial Title Deeds

Are you an owner of a property and want to

Spanish Wills

This is the problem nowadays. Houses are

Due to the actual financial situation, the mortgage

not sold as quickly as before, and banks will

Power of Attorney

market has suffered a u- turn of 180 degrees and

not give you a 100% mortgage to allow you

what in the past we could get easily, nowadays it is

to buy the new house.

practically impossible to obtain.

Everyday I receive calls from clients saying

Nowadays a large number of people are in unem-

that they would like to move to a downstairs

ployment situation and because of this, their names

apartment, or to a smaller dwelling, or a

appear on delinquency lists and due to this fact they

bigger one … but they cannot do it as they

cannot apply for a mortgage at the bank. Because of

need first to sell the house they own.

this, there have appeared new entities which do not

But now there is a solution -: you can sell

look up the delinquency lists, do not take into account

your house without rushing into it and buy

our working situation, but they will only require as a

your new home - as if you had sold the old

guarantee the property, land or car that we own.

one.

Your age is not a handicap either. These new entities

All you need to do is apply for a 100% mort-

will not take your age into account and people over

gage on the old and the new house which

70 years old will be able to enjoy of the advantages

will permit you to buy your new house, and

of a mortgage.

you have 5 years to sell the old house.

Doors are not closed for those who have any kind of

How much quota will I pay? During the two

embargo; these entities may also solve the embargo

first years, you will pay a quota equivalent

by mortgaging your property so that you get liquidity

to the quota you should pay if your old

to pay the debts.

house had been sold; and from the third to

You may find a solution to your situation by contact-

the fifth year, you will only pay the interest

ing these entities.

of the outstanding capital.

If interested, do not hesitate to contact us, we offer

And what happens if I sell? You then may

you a free study of your particular case.

Private contracts Conveyancing Land Registry searches Electricity and water contracts Rates contracts Fiscal Representation Tax returns for Residents & Non Residents

change to a new place but can´t until you

cancel the part of the loan that corresponds to the old property and you will only pay the

Fiscal numbers (N.I.E.)

loan of the new property.

House & Car Insurance

will be very pleased to assist you.

Car Import & Transfers Spanish driving licences ...and more!

WE SOLVE PROBLEMS SUCH AS:

If you want more information about this, or

LIQUIDITY

any other matter, feel free to contact us, we

AUCTIONS REPOSSESIONS CHARGES CANCELLATION DEBTS CONSOLIDATION

Health Insurance

Mortgages

New financial formulas

have sold the old one to pay for it?

www.martinezandballester.com Raquel Martínez Av. Noruega 174, Local 8, Novamar Gran Alacant, 03130 Santa Pola Tel/Fax 966 698 781 Mobile 696 289 407 e-mail: alacant@martinezandballester.com Beatriz Martínez C/ Concepción Nº 6, 1ºA 03181 Torrevieja Tlf: 965 710 353 Fax 965 710 267 Mobile: 696 289 407 - 644 528 862 e-mail: torre@martinezandballester.com rabesma@terra.es

WHY PAY MORE?

for more information contact us at: Raquel Martínez Av. Noruega 174, Local 8, Novamar Gran Alacant, 03130 Santa Pola Tel/Fax 966 698 781 Mobile 696 289 407 e-mail: alacant@martinezandballester.com Beatriz Martínez C/ Concepción Nº 6, 1ºA 03181 Torrevieja Tlf: 965 710 353 Fax 965 710 267 e-mail: torre@martinezandballester.com rabesma@terra.es

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

15

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contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

Mozzies

The television recently featured a ‘plague’ of the brutes near Torrevieja, long known as an area where risk of getting your skin regularly punctured is high.

Contrary to some people’s beliefs, Mos-

er Anopheles plumbeus. The females of

common – hence, some mozzies I heard

quitoes are apt to bite all the year round,

both species will bite man (and woman!)

identified as ‘Tigers’ on the telly, looked

especially at our latitude, and will be

readily, in order to suck blood. The males

to me like Aedes punctor.

most prevalent on humid, still days at

live on nectar, and do not bite man.

So what’s to do? If you can avoid going

any season. The television recently fea-

Aedes punctor breeds in acidic pools any-

out at dusk, especially when the wind is

tured a ‘plague’ of the brutes near Tor-

where in the countryside, and is the little

less than 5kph, you will likely avoid get-

revieja, long known as an area where risk

chap that will get you as you walk around

ting bitten. Mosquito-repellent may be

of getting your skin regularly punctured

at dusk, or in shady, sheltered places

effective – I think they have to lick it off

is high. The price of living within reach of

during the day. For most mosquitoes are

before they bite – gives time for a good

nice, wetland scenery is often the com-

largely nocturnal, and only become really

swat! Wear long trousers, long sleeves,

pany of these pestilential beasts. There

active as dusk approaches.

and light-coloured clothing, so you can

is a good side to them, of course. Nature

Culex pipiens is an abundant

see them. Going to Africa, south of the

has provided them as food for millions of

small mosquito, often living

Sahara? Or Amazonia? Or Southeast

migrant birds, as well as dragonflies and

in buildings, where it hiberhiber

other predatory insects – not forgetting,

nates in the colder months.

It

that some of the insects are becoming

of course, the many kinds of bat.

is unlikely to bite humans. The

larvae

resistant! Spraying from aircraft is now

In effect, the humble mozzy is, by a mas-

of this and many other kinds of

mos-

common, and carried out in this area, but

sive margin, the world’s most dangerous

quito are aquatic, and require stagnant

I, for one, am not in favour – the chances

creature. Death by Croc or Shark is a

ponds in which to develop into flying

of collateral (environmental) damage are

more spectacular affair, and big cats can

insects.

high, and probably haven’t been thor-

do a fair job. Snakes and scorpions pop

Aedes albupictus, the Tiger Mosquito, is

oughly studied. Just think before you rid

off a few folk, but the millions who die

an Asian species which has been im-

your house of those House Martin nests,

each year from malaria and the other

ported into Spain, via a small, nascent,

or clear bats and Swifts out of your roof!

mosquito-carried diseases far outweigh

population near San Cugat, Cataluña.

any other creature’s effect on human

It is a big chap, banded in appearance,

population – even exceeding the number

(hence the name) and bites readily and

killed by another noteworthy assassin,

painfully, often causing swellings and

Homo sapiens, with his suicide bombers

blisters. Scare stories abound, and it is

and stupid wars.

worth recording here that, although they

The malarial mosquito belongs to the

are known to carry Yellow Fever and

genus Anopheles, which has a tropical

Denge Fever in Asia, they need first to

distribution, but closely-related (not,

be infected, and both diseases are at a

thankfully, malaria-carrying) forms are

considerable distance from our shores.

found in Europe, such as the woodland-

There are also many misidentifications of

dwelling Anopheles claviger, and the larg-

them away from the area where they are

Asia? Take prophylactics, bearing in mind

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

17

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contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

At least Dick Turpin had the courtesy to wear a mask You know how it is. You’ve just had a two hour flight listening to some Lithuanian trying to sell you aftershave and spent two hours previously in the departure zone of some airport back home (which was more expensive than Monaco) and the last thirty minutes watching everyone else’s luggage passing on the carousel before yours finally appeared.

Now you just want to get to your intended destination as quickly as possible. The only thing standing (sitting actually) in your way is Felipe from Belgium, the clerk at the car hire desk, who boasts the charisma of a slug…but works a little slower.

Frustrating isn’t it? And by the time they’ve finished adding up all the ‘extras’, on top of what seemed a good deal when you booked it on the internet, you feel like you’ve been financially abused by Felipe the slug, if there is such a thing, if not I’ve just invented it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking all of the guys and girls in the rent a car offices – I used to work with them and some of them are kind and helpful but the Felipe’s of this world exist…so we’ll pick on them.

You see over the years, things have changed in the car hire world, less than ten years ago travellers were happy with a Seat Marbella (Fiat Panda) that had no aircon, no power steering, no stereo, no airbags or even comfort come to that. But with the advent of the internet based companies over recent years, who have

offered more and more for less and less in an effort to beat the competition, customers now require all the luxuries but at the super-low prices that, on first impression, look very accommodating indeed, but…

And sometimes (as many of you have written to tell us) what you see, or more accurately, what you expect is not quite what you get.

Somehow or other ‘Autojumbo’ our (fictional car hire company for this exercise so I don’t get the shirt sued off my back…) can squeeze 50€ euros worth of fuel into the car that you’ve rented that is roughly the size of a wheelie-bin. Whether they are using aviation fuel or not we’re not sure yet. Another charge is a baby-seat which if you plan to spend more than a couple of weeks here means that you might as well have left the little darling at home – with a full time nanny.

I’ve not even started on the ‘extra drivers’ tick box yet but I know, from experience in the industry and because we all know that in Spain the car is insured – not the driver, that it costs the hire company no more money to add drivers…but they charge for it handsomely. . But you knew all this already of course…because you read the terms and conditions on the website? Just watch out for that one because on several sites we couldn’t even find any! And on those that we did… well they were about as vague as a Spaniard giving directions. They also cover themselves (but unfortunately not you) by telling you which bits of the car aren’t included in the insurance that comes with the car.

WHY PAY MORE?

For example, tyre damage, damage to the underneath, flat battery, days off road after you’ve hit a pothole… it goes on, and on. However, those kind people at Autojumbo will offer you an insurance (at an extra cost) that will cover the bits that aren’t covered…still with me? good because in the small print of THAT insurance you’ll find MR Vague has been busy again and inserted the line ‘exclusions from insurance can be partially covered with this insurance…’ of which there is no explanation as to exactly what it is you are covering, or not.

So you end up paying a load of ‘extras’ that ‘Felipe’ has now convinced you it is not worth hitting the streets without, even though you haven’t got a baby, and off you head feeling like you’ve just paid for enough fuel to get the plane back to the UK again.

Why all the extras? Because, as I said earlier, with the emergence of the online and what seem at first glance, ‘budget’ companies the price to actually rent the car is extremely cheap, so they need to make it up somewhere, and Felipe is not letting you out of the car park without relieving you of a good few swipes of the credit card first.

My advice is stick with the small guys – the price you see is the price you get, and the service will be so much better. Find a reputable company and deal with the owners (usually) directly and you’ll get straightforward answers…and no bloody small print!

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

19

20

“for all your home and business computer needs”

“BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca. We aim to provide high “quality computer services at realisrealis tic prices - we specialise in providing services to small businesses and home users”

Broadband Setup New Computers & Laptops in English Repairs & Upgrades

Welcome to this month’s computer article written by Richard from BlueMoon Solutions This month sees my lovely wife’s birthday, our wedding anniversary and most importantly, my birthday!

So, as you can imagine, it’s going to be an expensive month! This month I thought we should look at some websites that could save you money when you are buying presents!

More and more of us are using the Internet to buy on-line, especially as most of us live in this lovely part of the world, and still want to consume goods from the rainy old place we used to call home.

Compatible Ink Cartridges Phone Calls Using Your PC Website Design Competitive Rates

Discount Vouchers...

PC and Server Health Checks Macro Writing

Of course buying on-line does allow you to shop around but 9 times out of 10 it won’t allow you to see the best, in-store offers. This means you sometimes end up losing out on the best deal. If this is you, then I have just the web site for you - www.myvouchercodes.co.uk This site allows you to search for

Microsoft Office Training Server Monitoring Backup Solutions Web and Email Hosting

Websites like this are becoming more and more popular and a quick Google search lists 100’s of them - www.everydaysale.co.uk for example even has printable vouchers – “50% reduction on tapas at La Tasca” anyone? Ok, so La Tasca is a UK restaurant chain with the slogan “Spain is closer than you think!”, ironic but you get my point, right?

Other websites include www. voucherseeker.co.uk, www.voucherstar.co.uk and www.vouchercodes.com - there are loads more and they all do the same thing i.e. offer you vouchers for nowt – all you need to do is spend the time searching through them.

Why not give them a go the next time you are buying something online?

What’s the worst that can happen? ...You could save some money!

Windows Server Configuration Network & Wireless Setup Anti-Virus & Security No Call Out Fee No Job Too Small

Email or phone us for friendly help and advice office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es mobile: 655 044 970 Office: 902 906 200

discount vouchers from all of the thousands of Internet stores all over the world. Nowadays I never buy anything on line without visiting this or one of the many other websites cropping up just like it.

Almost always you can get whatever it is you are looking for delivered for free - or if not, you will get some sort of discount off the normal Internet price.

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

21

MAYOBUILD Dean Martin Mayo

GENERAL BUILDERS PLUMBING UNDERBUILDS ELECTRICAL and much more ESTABLISHED 7 YEARS in GRAN ALACANT design and build - portfolio of work -

Tel. 665 063 228 email:

mayobuild@hotmail.com Hablamos Espanol

22

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

CROSSWORD 1

CROSSWORD 2

Alpha-Cross 01 The first letter of each answer is written next to its clue in alphabetical order. One letter has already been entered.

Can you find the words then fit them correctly into the grid?

1. Luxury craft (5)

4. Sharp pointed implements (7) 2. Articulated (7) 8. Butterfly larva (11)

3. Innocuous (8)

9. Exhilarated (8)

4. Disturbances (6)

10. Yield (4)

5. Snakelike fish (4)

12. Humble (6)

6. Big (5)

13. Ineffectual (6)

7. Earnest (7)

16. Movable barrier (4)

11. Sudden unexpected event (8)

18. Drover (8)

12. Sorcerous (7)

21. Glorious (11)

14. Mass of frozen water (7)

22. Scaling devices (7)

15. Furniture items (6)

23. Surface boundaries (5)

17. Diffident (5)

7

O. Mediterranean fruit (5) P. Asian temple (6) P. Practical jokes (6) R. Roof beams (7) S. Seedy (6) S. Regular (6) S. Certain (4) U. Below (5) V. Stringed instrument (5) V. Bird of prey (7) W. Lifting device (5) W. Squirm (7) Z. African equine (5)

Down

1. Young person (5)

19. Days of the month (5)

9

20. Fiend (4)

5

1 4 2

0

4

A. Loathe (5) A. In front (5) A. Athletic field (5) A. Bird sanctuary (6) A. Affirm (4) C. Altered (7) D. Negotiable instrument (5) E. Decree (5) F. Afraid (7) G. Harvested (7) G. Gruesome (6) H. Doglike mammal (5) I. Malady (7) K. Kind of energy (7) O. Frequently (5)

Across

Wordoku key word: Dangerous

1

4

WHY PAY MORE?

3

Bulbs There are three switches downstairs. Each corresponds to one of the three light bulbs in the attic. You can turn the switches on and off and leave them in any position.

How would you identify which switch corresponds to which light bulb, if you are only allowed one trip upstairs?

The Ball How can you throw a ball as hard as you can and have it come back to you, even if it doesn’t bounce off anything? There is nothing attached to it, and no one else catches or throws it back to you?

answers on page 47

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

23

PERFORMANCE & DIESEL CENTRE Motor Engineers of Guardamar

All makes, petrol and diesel, Serviced and Repaired The Diesel Centre specialises in mechanical and engine repairs from routine servicing to repairing manual gear boxes, alternators, starter motors, Re-building complete engines, also up to date diagnostic fault finding, Head gaskets, timing belts, clutches, brakes, welding and air con.

We also carry out pre-ITV inspections and take cars for the actual ITV tests.

Mark, the owner, has more than 20 years experience as a mechanic, and colleague Steve, is a Ford trained Master Technician (which is the highest standard awarded to any technician in Europe), so you can be assured you are being served by the best.

The Centre’s reputation is built on expertise and quality of service, and many of its customers are referred by word of mouth recommendations.

The centre opens weekdays from 9am to 6pm (no Siesta) Saturday mornings 9am to 1pm.

So for a friendly chat or any advice you may need, please do not hesitate to give us a call on:

96 610 7606 or 647 162 821

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STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

up? who’s moved who’s moved down?

g... in n in w u o y e r a er y ...or losing ev week..?

Not joined yet?

how are you doing?

Entering a team couldn’t be easier Step 1

Get online Go to www.thejungledrums.com/football (you will be re directed to the official Premier League Fantasy Football web page) Click the ‘sign up’ to register.

Step 2

Pick your squad Take your pick of players plying their trade in the Premier League With a budget of £100 million, choose a squad of 15 players made up of: 2 Goalkeepers 5 Defenders 5 Midfielders 3 Forwards No more than 3 players can be selected from a single team.

Step 3

Join ‘The Jungle Drums’ LeagueClick on the ‘League’ link which can be found on the left hand side of the web page. Then click on ‘create/join league’ link.

You will see the ‘Join a Private League’.

Now simply enter the following code to the box 245256-65890 and hit the ‘Join Private League’ button.

That’s it, you’re in! Have fun and we wish you the very best of luck in the MASA International & Jungle Drums Fantasy Football League.

september summary Well, a truly eventful month for the Jungle Drums Fantasy Football League. We’ve grown in numbers and now the league has 49 teams battling it out and becoming more and more addicted to team tinkering tactics.

It’s been a great month for the managers of the fairer sex, with a particular storming effort from Katrina Hobson and her team Kats Tigers who managed to to pull in 164 points this month and lift her team up to 11th place overall.

Mitch Bull has dragged his team off the bottom spot and up to the dizzy heights of.......3rd from bottom. Joe McAloon and team Henry the Cheat appear to still be letting the disappointment of ‘that goal’ affect their chances of Fantasy Football League glory, they slipped down to 27th in September.

It has been a real battle at the top with FC Bartioni under the stewardship of Paul Barton taking up the respectable position of 4th place. Sunworld Gooners from Los Dolses lead the Manager of the Month position right up until the final day of the month, when they were pipped at the line by Alan McGinn’s Armoured FC who also took the overall postilion of 1st place.

So, congratulations Armoured FC, you win the Manager of the Month award and dinner for two at the Hotel MASA. Get in touch with me and claim your feast!

Good luck to everyone in October!

Watch out for the league table in next month’s Jungle Drums!

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

25

The

British Dental Practice Dr. Paul Saliba LDS University of London 1981

• WE CATER FOR NERVOUS PATIENTS • QUALITY AND AFFORDABLE • SAME DAY EMERGENCY TREATMENT • NATURAL SMILES AND BLEACHING • TOOTH COLOURED RESTORATIONS • SAME DAY DENTURE REPAIRS • CHILDREN WELCOME • NATURAL LOOKING DENTURES

TEL: 96 679 6603 103, Calle Madrid Urb. La Marina

(off N-332 between Torrevieja & Santa Pola)

From Gran Alacant: take the N332 to the La Marina Urbanisation.

Look for a major left turning into the main street lined with bars etc.

After Supervalu turn right, continue until you find bars and dentist on your left

26

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

Estate Agents Victoria, Fiona Edwards and Jos茅 Luis Llanos ( husband and wife), have been established in the fishing village of Santa Pola for almost 30 years.

They are able to offer a large range of property on the Costa Blanca and above all a complete after-sales service, as listed below.

All their staff have a good knowledge of the English language and also speak German.

A free consultation, property valuation and advice is given to all those considering selling their property, also an estimated calculation on what they can expect to receive after paying all costs.

You may call us for an appointment at any time , at our offices situated in Gran Alacant.

FEEL AT HOME We also offer professional advice on all the following matters.

Taxes for residents and non-residents.

Inheritance tax Spanish wills Application of fiscal numbers(N.I.E.) Application of Spanish residency Transfer of documents on Spanish vehicles Rent a Car Translations Help with medical enquiries Transfer of property ownership Advice on buying and selling in Spain Property insurance Health insurance Power of Attorney Advice on mortgages Advice on rentals Money transfers with excellent rates to any part of the word at no cost.

Free consultations

www.victoria.es

Inmobiliaria Victoria Avda. Escandinavia, 72 C.C. Altomar II L.10 03130 Gran Alacant 路 Santa Pola Tlf. 966697779 路 966698180 Fax 966697378 sp@victoria.es

inmobiliaria - estate agent www.victoria.es

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

27

THE SAME GREAT SERVICE IN A NEW LOCATION

Farmacia Gran Alacant’s new premises opens it’s doors

Many locals in Gran Alacant will have encountered ‘La farmacia’ in Avenida Mediterraneo and been impressed by the service they get there. Since its opening almost twenty years ago in 1991 Farmacia Gran Alacant has been serving locals with an ever expanding stock,

farm

and, it must be said, by staff who always have a smile on their face.

‘open 365 days of the year’ Open 365 days of the year and twelve hours per day (from

Farmacia offers analysis

9.00am till 9pm) the Farmacia has an extensive range of products

of glucose amongst

with knowledgeable staff on hand to help customers who need it.

others and soon

In January of next year they’ll be increasing the opening hours to

cholesterol and liver

be available from 8.00am until midnight, again every day of the

and kidney testing

year.

will be available.

‘new larger premises’

Another exciting new offering is their range of

Juan and his team are now in their new, and larger, premises in Calle Monte de Santa Pola (just on the left before you reach the Life Resort) and are looking forward

soaps and creams with are made by the Farmacia.

to welcoming new customers as well

Calle Monte de Santa Pola

Gran Alacant 9.00am - 9.00pm Tel. 966697471

28

as those who have used their services in the past. Now with more room in their

Wheelchair and walking frame hire is also available from the new premises while at the old one in Avenida Mediterraneo you’ll still find the Farmacia but here they’ll be selling items such as baby food and toys, sun creams, skin creams and much more – all available delivered to your door.

spacious new shop, the

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

macia

29

UNWANTED GOLD? CASH IN NOW! TOP PRICES PAID

for your unwanted items LUMAR JEWELS

THE GOLD MAN Best prices paid for all items of jewellery in any condition You will be amazed at how much even a couple of odd earrings and a broken chain will fetch!

Clear out all the jewellery you haven’t worn for ages & CASH The price of gold is at an all time high

IN NOW!

David Marshall is a professional jeweller with over 35 years experience For a simple hassle-free assessment of your jewellery just call

630 867 924

For a personal visit from David, at your convenience, just call to make an appointment or gather a few friends and hold your own jewellery party with the added bonus of 10% commission for you!

WE PAY THE HIGHEST PRICES FOR GOLD ANYWHERE IN SPAIN! INSTANT Cash Payment

Tel. 630 867 924 30

Email: dbmarshallsnr@aol.com

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

ARE YOU BEING SERVED? Where do we really stand when we install British TV?

‘The purpose of this Directive is to promote the free cross-border satellite broadcasting of programmes and their cable retransmission from other Member States, and in particular to remove the obstacles arising from disparities between national provisions on copyright and from the legal uncertainty that exists in this field.’ EU Council Directive 93/83/EEC We’ve probably had more letters and emails on this subject than any

are that British channels (and other foreign TV) may well be redirected

other, well apart from the time someone wrote that it would be a good

through a Spanish broadcaster and encrypted. The Spanish company will

idea to shoot cyclists that is. But British TV in Spain is still one thing

then charge a subscription (like Sky do now) to allow you to receive it.

that people worry about and when it comes to getting it installed, many

But even the man in grey had to admit that that is a long way off yet.

are at a loss over whom to listen to. The reason? Nobody can reassure

So order that satellite dish

them (or give them any confidence) that they will still have it in a year,

that you’ve always

or even six months’ time. We all remember what happened in 2008 when

wanted so you can get

Telmicro went AWOL and thousands were left having to find a Chinese

a thousand channels

man to sell them DVD’s (they were not hard to find, mind you).

or so but be aware that

So what will happen in the future? How safe is it to spend a few hundred,

Spanish building, like

or a few thousand, euros making sure you’ve got something to do in the

Spanish TV, is not quite as

evening (apart from the obvious of course)?

good sometimes as it could be

We’ve been speaking to the suits in Brussels to get to the bottom of it,

and it’ll probably take the roof

and hopefully put some minds at rest. What they told us was that as a

terrace with it when we get the

general rule (Article 3 of the AVMS Directive); EU governments may

high winds…

not restrict which broadcasts people can receive or what programmes foreign broadcasters can retransmit in their country – if the broadcasts comply with the EU Audiovisual Media Services Directive in the country where they originate. In other words, so long as there is nothing controversial or liable to incite unrest, and/or Mr Bean, I mean Zapatero, doesn’t wake up in a bad mood one day and ban it…everything is going to be fine. As it states in the directive at the top of this page– the EU are trying to promote the broadcasting of foreign channels in member states as a means of promoting different cultures.

What the Spanish government can do to restrict broadcasting - if it does not find a programme particularly appealing - is ask the broadcasting country to comply with the Spanish rules. If that doesn’t work then they can go to the EU and ask that the broadcaster be dealt with.

What it all means is that things aren’t going to be changing in the near future, or the long term come to that because the EU’s policy of ‘TV without Frontiers’ which promotes the viewing of TV from one country in another member state means that although, at present, we aren’t supposed to be watching the Beeb or Sky channels, everyone knows that we are – and there’s not a lot that can be done about it.

The possibilities in the future, so the man in the grey suit said,

Jungle Drums Editor bought his shining new set from local TV salesroom girl “Juanita” after falling for her charming sales techique.

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

31

      

     





       



     

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32

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erywhere is beginning to look like a ghost town.

hundreds of euros, in unpaid Road Tax alone.

Following my rant, last month, concerning the

Maybe some good news for those of you owning

frustrations of dealing with Spanish bureaucracy,

a UK Caravan or Trailer that you may wish to

we were determined, that we would not let our

Re-Register. A recent change to the rules may

business suffer again in such a way.

result in this process becoming more accessible

Therefore, we have restructured the way that

and less costly, but only for those that owned

we deal with Re-Registrations, Transfers and

the vehicle, before their move to Spain. We are

Licences, by providing ourselves with on-line ac-

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34

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35

You’ve been here too long when...

A councillor speaks...

1.You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.

2.You can’t get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they’re shutting just as you should be going out?

3.You aren’t just surprised that the Spanish plumber / decorator / electrician has turned up on time, you’re surprised he turned up at all.

4.You think it’s fine to comment on everyone’s appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.

5.Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.

Gran Alacant Councillor for Foreigners gives her take on life in the area Dear friends,

A TRUE STORY I have gone on record as saying, ‘The Spanish love

After the summer time I meet you again at the Jungle Drums.

I can assure you it has been a lovely summer plenty of activities and work and now I would like to tell you about some good things that happened along this last month of September.

We were able to join again our friends of the Monte y Mar Bowling Club and its 5th Opening celebrated in Gran Alacant.

It has been a successful event as in other previous years and we can say proudly we have in Santa Pola one of the best competitions all over this country. One of our teams even got the third place of the competition showing us that our club has a very high quality players and people capable to organise a perfect environment for the development of this sport. Thanks to all of them because from the Town Hall we feel proud of their job and effort. CONGRATULATIONS for the results you have obtained, friends.

The 24 September we were able to enjoy an incredible musical evening with “Voices in Harmony and Trinity singers” with two Welsh choirs. It was an incredible evening. I would like to thank Ralph and Kate who made possible to bring this show and also the Life Resort Complex its collaboration in the development of this event. This show made possible the collaboration between English and Spanish people as all the money they obtained of their show was done to the “Alzheimer and Dementia Support Association of Santa Pola”. It was an amazing experience that we will repeat as soon as possible.

My partners of the Town Hall, the councillor of Tourism, Loreto Serrano and the Councillor of Urbanism, Lola Gadea wanted to be with us and they enjoyed the show. th

I would like to take the opportunity I have to invite to join us the next 17th October the “Abel Anton race” that we celebrate every year close to the commercial centre of Gran Alacant (at the parking space). This race has became a very important one and the last year we had more than 1.000 runners participating. This race is organised by the Town Hall and the Asociación de Vecinos Residentes Europeos de Gran Alacant” (ASVEGA), one of the associations that we have in Gran Alacant. We would like you to come and enjoy of this event.

Another good event we are going to have along this month of October is the performance at the Casa de la Cultura in Santa Pola of another of our associations: GASP. Our theatre group of Gran Alacant. They are going to show us their art the next 23rd and 24th October and you will be able to get the tickets to be at the performances at the International Library of Gran Alacant. I hope you will join us and enjoy as well of this other event we have for you.

As you can see, we have plenty of activities organised by the Town Hall together with the associations of Gran Alacant. I feel proud of how people living in Gran Alacant are working together with us to make a better place to live plenty of activities to join and enjoy. Thanks to all of you and speak to you again next month.

If you’d like to offer your opinion on where you live - send it in to JD and we’ll publish it! ask@thejungledrums.com

36

6.You’re shocked by people getting t first hint of sun - surely they should w June?

7.On msn you sometimes type ‘jajaja 8.You’re amazed when Spanish TV a than half an hour, especially right be 9.You’re not surprised that the Span info doesn’t match with what is actua less it is “Prensa Rosa”.

10.You forget to say please when as implied it in your tone of voice, right? to spot one.

bureaucracy, but they’re not very good at it.’ Perhaps I’d do better to keep shtum about it, because I’ve just been sampling the worst excesses of this phenomenon. I’ll relate the sorry tale. My name is Malcolm Palmer – I tell you this not in any spirit of self-praise, but to show that I’m no John Smith, Dave Jones, Mike Brown, anything really common – though I may, in fact be as common as muck, I won’t dispute that.

Right – in July, I got a certified letter from the dreaded Agencia Tributaria – Hacienda for short – telling me that I owed them the thick end of three thousand euros for renta (tax) for the year 2006. This was based on the fact that I had apparently flogged an apartment in Torrevieja during that year.

Problem: I’ve never had, not even rented, a property in Torrevieja!

More than perplexed, I went and took my (long-winded) turn in Hacienda’s

The K9 Club and Fostering

...will take place at The Pasty Shack in Avenid Londres, La Marina urbanisation on the fir Sunday of each month from 10am to 2pm.

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chaotic lair, and spoke to a nice young lady, who told me that, yes, she had proof that I had sold this fictitious apartment. No amount of protest seemed likely to bear fruit, so I asked if I could speak to the supervisor. This lugubrious gent told me I had to go to the property registry to get proof of what I claimed.

I went to the office, to be told that it was necessary to go to Torrevieja – computers had not, apparently, been invented. Not wishing to drive sixty kilometres each way, I foolishly left it to an incompetent solicitor, who achieved precisely nothing.

Another certified letter arrived, telling me of the imminent embargo of my account. Thus wound up, I took a trip to Torrevieja, and duly obtained a document stating that ANOTHER Malcolm Palmer had actually owned and sold the property in question. That he didn’t have my DNI seemed not to be a bar to Hacienda sticking the thing against my name – the other MP doubtless having either done a bunk or turned up his toes. OR are you out there, somewhere, Malc?

Back, then, to Hacienda and a traipse around several work-stations, where I ended up asking a pretty young lady if I was actually on the Spanish version of ‘Candid Camera,’ before I ended up in front of the aforesaid lugubrious gent.

I enjoyed the fu jokes this mon that are mostly a little someth

Well, now I ha I ask if you w or three copies to England n month.

Keep up the g Mary.

He told me, finally, that all was well, and not to worry.

We shall see………………

SENDING & RECEIVING POST IN SPAIN

can a

servi For regular readers, our advert may be very familiar to you, but you’re wondering why we are now Easypost.es.

Our i here

MJM Courier Services used to be a franchise of a courier company, but we have gone independent as Easypost.es. We now have full control over our services, which means

To al

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a try?

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

They’ve gone. You pull away from the

Once you’ve paid for the drinks, everyone

you’re full those weeks, got cockroaches

DIABETES MELLITUS

. Just p mehome readers hel airport, blow aCa bign sigh of an relief heads to start on the fridge’s stock or perhaps a regional disease and then ofyourthink y ofand you or their legs out at the a Del Mar Phase 1. rin Ma on ty per pro a ghttonight, get to d nee s wait until at least late about watchingbou telly in peace. of alcohol and your favourite bottles of fer them the services of the many reputathu lounge and I have extended the or tiles used. flo al gin ori the of somae smile, also remember, with that you wine while ble rental companies that offer properties ’t head up to bed, knowing hold of t I canyou a’ instead of You ‘hahaha’ was Terra Pilar bu Believe the supplier the tiles used. of ad breaks last less er mb nu del can have your bed back and won’tmo have that you’ve got to get up in the morning. at that time of year. They could rent a car find a reference or oughout Phase efore the end of films. tiles were used thr same floor if notfor the next two weeks or Themorning 0s 10 n bee to make tea in the for, what felt And on it goes too (saves you driving them around) and nish TV programme ve ha re must 1 which means the ally being shown, unlike, half a platoon ofsbrightly colouredthat theso. the local supermarkets would benefit from 1000 re is 20/30 lying ing supplied so just hop ers yard or ild bu sking for things you a in her eit soldiers. Actually,aro that’s not wh theerebest anal- Just recently a friend has returned home their frequent trips to top up on water as und som ?pijo / pija is and how similar. by job descrip-apprec ed. iat ogy in the world…soldiers to the UK following a two week ‘visit’ and they’d ‘rather not’ drink from the tap. ch mu Any help would be DO YOU ? when they do tion have to be tidy and organised, but I’m not exaggerating when I say HAVE that a AN INCREASED That should THIRST solve it and Many thanks Dog Adoption ARE YOU USING THE TOILET MORE OFTEN? you get my drift? Alan Carr quadriplegic would have been more helpgo home after their trip you will not be g Day...

DO YOU FEEL MORE TIRED THAN USUAL?

DO YOU KNOW THE SIGNS?

e da

rst h,

o

b

The relatives, ‘friends’ and the downright

ful around the house than him. He did a

knackered from having spent the last

WHEN DID YOU LAST HAVE YOUR BLOOD SUGAR must CHECKED admit, when? we two weeks picking up wet towels,

hopeless have been over to stay, spend-

bit of shopping, I

ing half the time of their two week ‘visit’

ran out of fruit he bought a melon…which ashtrays and anything else that happens Trish Powell is a former Senior District Nursing Sister registered

(seems like months) telling you how

dirty

here in Spain, she her service, Care in that the Comhe ate. And some white wine…which he runsto beown left nursing lying around…Or does just munity, and can also be reached at the Akua Clinic in Hondon

horrible the UK is and how well you’re

Fraillies - this offers to advice on Diabetes drank. It begs the question as to whymonth she happen me…?

looking. When they are in the queue at

people suddenly think that your home is

the checkout and for some incredible

prevalent, are it is estimated that in the UK alone there are an estimated 2.6 a hotel and you, unfortunately, the the family people to stay who again. million people diagnosed with diabetes and over 500,000 have

With an increasing aging population Diabetes mellitus is vowed becoming more The wife never to have

Our own very customised ARV (Animal the condition but don’t know it. Many ex pats living in Spain might not be checkout maid, chef and manager?

I mean, can you lunteers who reason that defies logic; theRescue aware that they even have the condition; however, a simple test can be Vehicle) will be there too ! The made by your friendly Care In The Community nurse to determine whether Pasty Shack will donate 5% of all takings and happy togirl provide has taken the liberty of on speaking to imagine going to stay at their you havehouse, Diabetes Mellitus or not. the day to the K9 Club animal charity.

them in Spanish, they’ll have looked at

during the week, when Diabetes they have mellitus is a condition where the amount of glucose in your blood

you without saying a word, expecting you

to get up for work everypancreas day does not produce any insulin, or not enough to help glucose enter

to translate, which you do by reading the

(known as insulin resistance). and insisting that they come

is too high because the body cannot use it properly. This is because your your body’s cells – or the insulin that is produced does not work properly

d the e parts amount onanthe digital display in front of unny magazin on magazines nth. I’m not keen ded ad y them. the y jokes but I think hing to the JD. They will have said that they are com-

and eat out nearly everyGlucose comes from the digestion of starchy foods such as bread, rice,

, can ’ a bityou’ youtoup‘visit but we know that what ave ‘buttereding e me a couple would be able to sav off are we they really mean is ‘it’s holiday time!’ as s of the October JD end of the the til un ek we t nex and by the time you’ve shown them to

day?

good work!

potatoes, chapattis, yams and plantain, from sugar and other sweet foods,

night after you’ve beenand from the liver, which also produces glucose. cloud-bathing all However, I have a simple answer

their (your) bedroom and they’ve had a

my friends,

rest from travelling (because sitting on a

one that will

plane for two hours is apparently ‘exbenefit all andvisit For more information the web hausting’) they are ready to head out for allowsite: you to www.petsinspain.info a drink, and something to eat. Despite get on with

also offer a next delivery serviceyou within Europe a 48 hours the day factcourier that just yesterday filled the and your life delivery

ice to the Rest of the World.

freezer, the cupboards and the fridge with

while they’re

enough food to keep the Falkland Islandover for a inbound mail and courier service continues, but with a faster delivery time to you going through a dodgy winter. ‘no…. holiday…I in Spain, asers does the very popular British passport renewal service. you shouldn’t have to cook for all of us’

ll our existing customers, thank you for your loyalty

(not tonight anyway) ‘let’s go out and get

Get them to

something and you can relax and have a

rent some-

we look forward to providing you with an even

er service in future. To those who have not used

drink’ (one that you’ll asus you face a services before, surely now is the timeneed to give

?

mean visit.

night on a sunbed, in the spare room).

where.

Tell them

Insulin is vital for life. It is a hormone produced by the pancreas that helps the glucose to enter the cells, where it is used as fuel by the body.

The main symptoms of untreated diabetes are increased thirst, going to the loo all the time – especially at night, extreme tiredness, weight loss, genital itching or regular episodes of thrush, and blurred vision.

Type 1 diabetes develops if the body is unable to produce any insulin. This type of diabetes usually appears before the age of 40. It is controlled by insulin injections and diet.

Type 2 diabetes develops when the body can still make some insulin, but not enough, or when the insulin that is produced does not work properly (known as insulin resistance). This type of diabetes usually appears in people over the age of 40, though it often appears before the age of 25 in South Asian and Black African Caribbean people. It is treated by diet and exercise alone or by diet and tablets, or sometimes by diet and insulin injections.

The main aim of treatment for both types of diabetes is to achieve near normal blood glucose and blood pressure levels. This together with a healthy lifestyle will help to improve wellbeing and protect against long-term damage to the eyes, kidneys, nerves, heart and major arteries.

Correct management of your particular diabetes is essential to keep blood sugar levels stable. Normal simple illnesses such as colds and flu can cause serious problems when you have diabetes, for example if you can’t eat or are vomiting due to these illnesses it may be difficult to keep your blood sugar levels correct. Many people diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus find that belonging to a forum or group where they are able to discuss strategies to control it or just to talk about their experiences of living with the condition is invaluable.

If you feel that you should have your blood sugar level checked, or you want details about the Diabetic support group near you, contact Trish on 610322389 or at Careinthecommunityesp@hotmail.com or call at the Akua Clinic in Hondon Frailes (directions available via internet).

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

37

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38

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

JUST MARRIED

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon roo

OCTOBER 2010

and the groom decides to let the bride kno Telephone calls expressing love or infatuation, Mel Gibson type vitriol, and wrong numbers, will be in the ratio 3: 1: 5 this month as your local exchange comes under the influence of a tabloid friendly Saturn.

Five ballpoint pens you lost in the 1996-2005 celestial period will be found on the second Wednesday of the month.

Beware any Oscar Wilde inspired, Saturn encouraged, moments of wisdom attempts this month that you might try to pass off as your own.

where she stands right from the start of th marriage.

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He proceeds to take off his trousers and th

Editing video is about to come under the influence of a pedantic Mars this month - synchronizing the audio to the images will become needlessly complicated after dusk on the 7th.

Video editing aside, all other computer related activities are well starred, in particular that smug feeling you get when you whip out your new iPad on the train or bus.

them at her. He says, “Put those on.”

The bride replies, “I can’t wear your trouse Chats with friends, talks with relatives, but not baby talking to dogs and cats and babies, are your preferred methods of interaction this month, as Neptune transgresses the Plain of Oprah.

Walking with your chin up and shoulders back but not looking where your feet are treading, has a 1 in 10 chance of upturned drawing pin stickage into your shoe this month in any classroom scene.

He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will alw wear the pants in the family!”

The bride takes off her knickers and throws

‘Sublime’, ‘delicate’ and ‘exquisite’ are three words set to pepper a futile attempt at literary or musical criticism this month, especially on Tuesday’s.

Eating and drinking on roller coasters, especially the ones that flip you upside down no more than three times in a minute are well starred, with chocolate milk being the planets’ preference.

them at him with the same request, “Try th on!”

Stadium lights, prison spotlights, but not oncoming car headlights, are so-soly starred depending on where you are standing at the time. Take Neptune’s advice and err on the side of caution, choosing to select the only a twist of danger option until dusk on the 17th.

He replies,”I can’t get into your knickers!”

Chasing things is much better starred than usual this month, with a 0.7%

better chance than normal of you catching what you are running after.

“And you never bloody will if you don’t cha Horatio, Ernest and Theodore your names from ages past are set to have an impact this month in some sort of spooky, supernatural, ‘Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum’ kind of way.

Refudiate is, of course, your Sarah Palin inspired crossword puzzle answer this month and well into the presidential running season in late 2011.

You will have an idea for a new sit com pop into your brain involving a family this month.

your attitude.”

‘Wardrobe malfunction’ continues to be your foremost breast popping out when you least expect it euphemism of the month. (The pointy bra warning continues from last month and has now been extended until well into the feast of Michaelmas or, more accurately, whenever the first leg of chicken is bitten into.)

Chuckles are set to pepper the month as never before, or that might be hiccups, it’s difficult to read Libra’s chart this month. (Libra has become the most difficult star sign to predict.

Common houseflies, medium sized spiders, and those flying thingies with the really long legs, are all well starred in any alfresco food preparation situations or when you have a vacuum cleaner nozzle in your hand ready to suck them up.

Taking two wires and crossing them together should only be attempted by a qualified electrician at all times, apart from a small window at 5.03am on the 23rd of the month.

Flashing lights, or computer screens on which ALERT, or CRITICAL, are flashing violently, are only 5% accurate this month. Nevertheless, it’s probably better to run screaming from the building just to be on the safe side, unless you are the manager of a nuclear power station where it’s probably time to dust off the procedure manuals they told you about when you joined the company.

All-in-one body suits may never have been so highly starred for swimming like a fish-dart, however, think for a good hour before going out.

Cushions, pillows, but not bean bags or duvets, are your favoured enclosed fluffy stuff inside an outer material casing thing this month.

Games of truth or dare have a 3% higher than usual chance of nakedness after dark.

Slaps on the back, especially of the congratulations variety, should be tempered this month, as you tend to slap congratulations like you would if someone has something stuck in their throat.

October is the month for Aquarius feet - Neptune is set to cast its attention on all erotic and exotic Aquarius foot usages. Foot balms, regardless of cost, are of equal effectiveness for icky calluses, rancid hard skin heels and yellow toe nail, until well into November but only if applied in an east to westerly direction.

Officers of the law, judges, parole officers and senior non shelf stacking supermarket employees, are all badly starred.

A man who looks uncannily like, but isn’t, William Shatner, will be completely imbecilic towards you this month. Your initial reaction will be to offer some sort of deference because he looks so much like one of your childhood heroes. But don’t: give him the full range of your views and stop only when he is dabbing his tear filled eyes with the third tissue.

‘There’s no smoke without fire’ is a saying that will be of no help to you whatsoever this month when you notice what looks like smoke coming from someplace or other.

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one do you mean, Sir? We have:

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FLIES A woman walked into the kitchen of her home in La Marina to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie

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Somewhat embarrassed, the mother

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Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s

The pilot sadly shook his head, and

Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s

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in true pilot fashion exclaimed, “And all these years, I’ve been chewing gum.”

Furniture, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.

“Oh! Killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

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A man walks into the Gran Alacant doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, “You’re not eating

You tried your best and you failed miserably.

The lesson is ‘never try’...Homer (

Simpson)

LEAVING THE OFFICE EARLY

Jim was speeding along the Crevillente Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. road one fine day when a local policeman, day, they noticed the boss left work early. aEach friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s One day the girls decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. A wrong, Eric? Didn’t you know that your ter all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went hom wife fell out of the car about five miles early?? back?”

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime said Eric. “Ah, praise God!” he replied with with her son, and went to bed early. relief. “I thought I’d gone deaf!”

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting

Aa dinner Rojalesdate. boy came home from school and hiswas mother hetohad The told blonde happy getbeen homegiven early and surprise her husband, but when she got atopart in the school her bedroom, she play. heard “Wondera muffled noise from inside. ful,” says mother, Slowly andthe quietly, she “What crackedpart open the door and was mortified to see her husband in TRIP TO QUICKSAVE is it?”with Theher boy says “I play the part bed lady boss!! of the Rojales husband!”

The mother Gently, she closed the door and crept out ofYesterday her house.I was at my local Quickscowls andday, says: and tell your The next at “Go theirback coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned leave early save buying a large bag of to Purina chow forwith my loyal teacher you they wantasked a speaking part.” again, and the blonde if she wasdog going to go them.pet, Biscuit, thecaught Wonderyesterday.”

Dog, and was in the “No way”, the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Steve, you’re so depressed today, what’s the matter?

Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn’t talk to me for a month!!

Then

so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!!

No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day...

“Doctor, What did sheWoman: think I had, an el-I don’t ephant? So since I’m retired know what to do.and Every have little to do, on impulse I told my husband her that no, Itime didn’t have a dog,comes I was starting the Purina Diet again. home drunk he beats I added that I probably shouldn’t, me because I ended in the hospito a up pulp.” tal last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes Doctor: “I have a real good coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.. for that. When medicine husband comes I told her thatyour it was essentially a home perfect diet and that thetake wayathat drunk, just glass of it works is to load your pants pocksweet tea and swishets with Purina nuggets andstart simply eat one or two every time you feel ing it in your mouth hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so but it works and I Just was don’twell swallow. going to try it again. keep swishing and swishing (I have to mention here that practiuntil he passes out.” cally everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

So one night, a Hondon farmer gets MARRIED weeks the drunk. He grabsJUST his wife’s boobs and Horrified, sheTwo asked if I later ended up says, these could give milk, we in intensive care because the dogto the The“If newlyweds are in their honeymoon room woman comes back food poisoned me. could get rid of the cows.” and the groom decides to let the bride know doctor looking fresh and I told her no, I stepped off a curb reborn.

He where grabs she her stands bum and says, right from“If thethis start of the to sniff an Irish Setter’s bum and a could give eggs, we could get rid of the car hit us both... marriage.

chickens.”

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He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw

Thethem wifeatgrabs thesays, farmer’s willy on.” and her. He “Put those says, “And if this stayed hard, we Theget bride can’t wear your trousers.” could ridreplies, of your“Ibrother.”

He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will always

Marie’s funeral is a sad one as she goes wearher thedeparted pants in husband. the family!” to join Standing near the casket, a mourner keeps The bride takes off her knickersrepeatand throws ing, “At last they’re together. At last themtogether.” at him with the same request, “Try those they’re A mourner whispers, “Why are you makon!” ing such a tumult? She was a tramp even HeNick replies,”I can’t What’s get intowith yourthis knickers!” when was alive. nonsense...at last they’re together!”

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What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

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The other is used to carry groceries.

AT LAST...

After 60 years of intensive research, staff at the Centre for Strategic Military Studies, have finally determined why Germany lost World War 2...

SCHOOL

1970 vs. 2010

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1970 - Crowd gathers. Johnny wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best mates for life.

2010 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark..

Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Mark started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to impliment bullying prevention programs Scenario: Robbie won’t Keep still in class, disrupts other students.

1970 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Headmasterl. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. Robbie’s parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario : Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

The Pope v The Rabbi Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He’d have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they’d have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a ‘silent’ debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, ‘First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

‘Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

‘I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

‘He bettered me at every move and I could not continue.’

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he’d won.

‘I haven’t a clue’ the rabbi said. ‘First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

‘Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.’

‘And then what?’ asked a woman.

‘Who knows?’ said the rabbi. ‘He took out his lunch so I took out mine.’

1970 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

20010 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Government psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario : Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1970 - Mark gets glass of water from Teacher to take aspirin with.

2010 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario : Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airfix paint bottle, blows up an ant’s nest.

1970 - Ants die.

2010- Police, Armed Forces, & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, MI5 investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario : Johnny falls while running during break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary .

Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1970 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

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LIVE Football

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46

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A chicken farmer went to a local bar in Dolores.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne...

PUZZLES Solitions

from page 23

Easy Soduku

Morning Sex She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,” You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!”

Hard Soduku

My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!”

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Wordoku

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”

She explained, “The egg timer’s broken.”

The woman perks up and says, ‘How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!’

A little old lady was walking down the a street in La Zenia dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

‘What a coincidence’ the farmer says. ‘This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating’

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, “Madam, there are €20 bills falling out of your bag.”

‘This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!’ says the woman.

“Oh, really? sod it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me.”

‘What a coincidence!’ says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, ‘What are you celebrating?’

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the copper. “How did you get all that money?

You didn’t steal it, did you?”

‘My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!’

‘What a coincidence,’ says the man. ‘I’m a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.’

‘That’s great!’ says the woman.

‘How did your chickens become fertile?’

‘I used a different cock,’ he replied.

The woman smiled and said, ‘What a coincidence.’

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:

Crossword 1

Crossword 2

2 large plastic bags

My wife and I were traveling by car from Torrevieja to Bilbao. Being in our seventies, after almost 5 hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed us a bill for €350.00.

I exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. I told the clerk that although it was a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth €350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells me that €350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. I insisted on speaking to the Manager.

“Oh, no”, said the little old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to the Torrevieja football stadium parking lot.

On match days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, ‘€20 or off it comes’.

“Well, that seems only fair” laughs the cop. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well, you know”, “not everybody pays”.

EXPERTS ARE WORRIED ABOUT PRESIDENT OBAMA’S MENTAL STATE AFTER HE PLEDGED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF AID TO NORTHERN IRELAND, FOLLOWING THE TRAGEDY OF HURRICANE HIGGINS.

The Manager appeared, listened to me, and then explained that the hotel had an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.’ But we didn’t use them,” I said. ’’Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that we could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from Benidorm perform here,” the Manager said.

“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” I said. “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I replied, ”But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager was unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.

I wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. “But sir, this check is only made out for €50.00.” ‘’That’s correct. I charged you €300.00 for sleeping with my wife,” I replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaimed the Manager.

I said, “Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have.”

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What’s on?

Doc...

FIESTASWHAT’S on

WHAT’S on

WHAT’S ON

around the region

Virgen del Rosario, Rafal October 7, Moros i Cristians 2010, Callosa d’en Sarria from October 9 to 12, Mare de Déu del Rosari, Guardamar del Segura October 10,

Fiestas Mayores, El Campello October 15, Mare de Déu Pobra, Jalón / Xaló October 18, Mig Any, Onil October 20, Moros y Cristianos 2010, Calpe from October 21 to 24, Día de las Peñas, Benidorm October 25, Fira de Tibi October 25, Fira de Tots Sants 2010, Cocentaina from October 30 to November 1,

HOLIDAYS 9th Oct Valencia Dia de Comunidad Valenciana Oct 12th Oct Dia de la Hispanidad (Columbus Day)

48

WHAT’S ON

day bell ringing 1Pm rockets fired and encion church dedi8Pm mass in san fulg : pio xii, trafalgar, cated to the people from anto. lep and rvdo. Pedro mora

Virgen del Pilar, Pilar de la Horadada October 12,

Fiestas de Benidorm 2010 from November 13 to 17,

s

er Thursday 7th of octob bells of ing ring and rks wo At dawn - fire remedio’ del gen ‘vir l cia announcing the offi

Ntra. Sra. del Pilar, Los Montesinos October 12,

Santísimo Cristo del Buen Acierto, L’Alfàs del Pi from November 7 to 10,

Exhibition

What’s on WHAT’S ON Nove to 21st 19th

San Fulgencio Fiesta

Virgen del Pilar, Benejúzar October 12,

Mercado Medieval, Callosa d’en Sarria November 3,

This is Spa

Friday 8th of october – live radio roadshow 4Pm till late - vibe fm rquee. from the municipal ma encion church 8Pm mass in san fulg from:: gabriel miro, dedicated to the people , general mosolla sor tor pin n, jorge jua o, avda isidro, reñ ped lo , cardo, lo platero rina, oasis, la Ma . principe de asturias, urb . ras que pes las escuera and to the virgen del 9Pm offering of flower church in san the of t fron in os remedi fulgencio ts live: the hippy 10.30Pm vibe fm presen monks

er Saturday 9th of octob on (san uci stit con la de za pla Location: fulgencio town hall). h flutes and drums 10Pm street parade wit h all kinds games wit day n´s 10Pm childre , bucking bronco tles (wii-landia, bouncy cas

ride) drinks for all the 12Pm sandwiches and ta commision fies children offered by the of bells ing ring and rks 1Pm firewo h the annual wit rity hila 9Pm great fun and nge and funny stra ng street parade – featuri ss doing dre cy fan in ple floats and peo gs! strange and funny thin er Sunday 10th of octob bell ringing in san and rks wo fire n, daw At fulgencio starting in los 10Pm traditional parade ez rtin ma honour of our virgen 12Pm solemn mass in our priest luis by d del remedio oficiate by the virgen del g gin sin ral cho and yañes remedio chorus h the image of our 8Pm solemn parade wit rwards a grand afte o, edi rem virgen del otecnia ferrandez pirr by fireworks offered er Monday 11th of octob ee rqu ma l Location: municipa parade organised by 8Pm fashion children ita” ran la “moda infantil eased of the munici8Pm mass for the dec

pality food for evening din10Pm bring your own rquee, free drinks ner in the municipal ma mission and a com ta fies the offered by w sho fantastic live music er Sunday 17th of octob school of music Location: san fulgencio musical of san 7Pm a concert by union nt ‘virgen del sai of our fulgencio in hon o’ edi rem

The next edition of the very ‘This is Spain Exhibition s’ w the Costa Calida at the pre star ‘Hotel Thalasia’ in San Pinatar. The exhibition will r 19th – 21st November 2010 the Christmas market.

The venue is a moder n, luxu easy access from both the N AP7 motorways. The exh ibit very large, beautifully appoin a separate access, wit h a wh pram ramp. It is fully aircond more information about the v look at www.thalasia.c om

As you would expect in a four there are restaurants, a cafete plenty of areas where visitors relax. To reach the hot el, take gan coast road from the round the boat on the N332.

The hot right hand side. There is ample

Exhibition organiser, Ch ristine very excited about the upcomin tion. “It is a fantastic ven ue wh allow businesses on the Costa showcase their produc ts and se wide audience.” The eve nt will promoted within all the local inte media, including newspa pers, m television and radio. Lea flets wi distributed between Gra n Alaca Alcazares, including the Polaris resorts.

Christine started the Thi s Is Spa tions in 2002, the first being held La Zenia hotel. She cou ld see th was a gap in the marke t for this k show which would pro mote busin and products to the eve r increasi population. Following the success first show, Christine and her team organized shows twice a year, ea tracting large numbers of exhibito visitors.

Bookings are now bei ng taken, wi nesses such as financi al services, lite television, heating systems, do glazing, health and bea uty, home a garden, schools, pools and much m already signed up. Ch arities such a Costa Blanca Samarita ns and the B fly Children will also be represented

For more information, and to book y stand, call Christine Ro che on 627 881 or 965 632 835 or email her at exhibitions-spain.com . Also, see the website at www.exhibiti ons-spain.co regular updates and det ails of the bu nesses who will be exh ibiting.

Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group

ain

ember

y successful will be held on estigious four Pedro del run from the 0, perfect for

ury hotel with N332 and the tion hall is nted and has heelchair/ ditioned. For venue, take a

r star hotel, eria and s can sit and e the Lo Padabout with tel is on the e parking.

The second showing of the very funny and energetic production,“On With The Show “will be performed at The Cardenal Belluga Theatre, San Fulgencio on 15th October at 20.00. Doors open

WHAT’S on

WHAT’S on

ith busi, satelouble and more as the Butterd.

your 409 info@ e om for usi-

What’s on WHAT’S ON

Grand Alacant and Santa Pola Theatre Group “GASP was formed in 2009 and, following their successful first production “An Evening With GASP” in June 2010 will be staging their next production on 23rd and 24th October, in the Casa De Cultura, Calle Elche, Santa Pola.

“Habeas Corpus” is a farce by popular playwright Alan Bennett. GASP’s version is set in the early 1970s.

The plot revolves around the family on Dr Arthur Wicksteed, a GP in Hove. Well into middle-age Dr Wicksteed is still lecherous and when a beautiful young woman collapses outside his surgery, he cannot resist her charms. Unfortunately for him his wife Muriel is well aware of his philandering ways and when and old flame of hers appears, together with a travelling salesman and a titled ex-colonial lady, things begin to go out of control.

All is resolved in the end, but not until many dark secrets from the blitz have been revealed.”

There are a couple of pictures which I can email separately Santa Pola’s theatre is in the lower level of the Casa de Cultura and the Town Council has kindly made it available to GASP. There is wheelchair access by a lift from the ground floor.

Tickets will be on sale in early October, but, in the meantime advance ticket bookings are available online at gasptheatre@hotmail.co.uk or by phone to David on 966 181 113 or Chris on 966 181 194.

We are always happy to welcome new members. Rehearsals take place every Monday and Wednesday evening from 7:30pm in the Sala Municipal in the Santa Pola Life Resort, Gran Alacant. No experience of the theatre is necessary as many of us are new to the stage. We welcome both those who would like to be on stage and those who can assist back stage. Contact details as above.

Please come along and support us. Pretty please

DON’T FORGET!!!

Roche, is ng exhibihich will a Calida to ervices to a be heavily ernational magazines, ill be ant and Los World golf

ain Exhibid at the hat there kind of nesses ing ex-pat s of that m have ach ators and

What’s on WHAT’S ON

at 19.30 Don’t miss the companies rendition of “I’ve got Rhythm”, played with some unusual instruments. All ticket sales for this show will go to S.E.M the local ambulance service to provide equipment for the new ambulance. So far the group have donated €6.000 to Local Charities in the area.

Tickets are available at 8 euros, from Liz on 966797983 or Maria on 966715891. Come along be entertained, see some fantastic dance routines and very colourful costumes. And most of all enjoy a good laugh.

Toledo’s famous SAFFRON FESTIVAL 29th - 31st October

see page 51

Up for it?

UMS! !

JUNGLERDR FARE WA

23rd Oct 2010 - Dolores Limited numbers

only

25€

Whole Day

DON’T MISS OUT! Ask here for details

see page

51

NOT TO BE MISSED!!!!

The Poppy Ball

5th November

The Royal British Legion Hondon Valley Tickets are now on sale at several outlets for the forthcoming Poppy Ball. We hope to make this a spectacular occasion again this year and we are looking forward to welcoming everyone to attend, not just Legion Members, everyone is welcome. The venue, Las Palmeras in Crevillente is a wonderful venue for this special occasion and the staff are always friendly and join in the fun, making this a lively night. Entertainment this year will be varied. Paul Melba, one of the most respected Comedy Impressionist will be there to get the audience laughing and again this year we have a return visit of Rachael from TKO Radio will serenade us with her sounds. A nice meal, good wine what more can you want? There will be a Raffle with some top notch prizes!

If you want a great opportunity for the ladies to put on their party frocks and the guys to spruce themselves up (minimum dress collar & tie, DJs optional) then this is the occasion! Not only will you be in for a great night but you will be assisting us to raise money towards the 2010 Poppy Appeal in support of serving and ex service personnel of the Armed Forces.

Please call in to get your tickets from: AJ´s – Hondon de las Nieves, Malvina Bookshop, La Romana or Fayre Foods in Albatera or direct from the Poppy Appeal Organiser.

There is seating for 200 and a coach will be organised from Hondon de los Frailes, Hondon de las Nieves and Aspe, if you wish to leave the car at home.

For more information call the Poppy Appeal Organiser Wendy on 666023815 or email: poppy.hondonvalley3577@gmail.com

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

49

CALL PAUL

THERE IS ONLY ONE NAME IN SANTA POLA

Talleres PEREZ JUAN NEW AND SECOND HAND VEHICLES, REPAIRS, SERVICING AND BODY WORK Talleres Perez Juan S.L Ctra Elche 10 - Santa Pola. Telephone 96 541 5921 or 96 541 3746 50

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i said...

TEL. 96 692 1537

Avda. Alfredo Nobel 150 - TOREVIEJA

WHAT’S on

WHAT’S ON

rio ºAniversa

5 Gala de WHAT’S on What’s Tango batango uesta @rro o de Ley” o rq n O i t la n n e co nguer Baile Arg roches “Ta ntrega de B tering) peciales. E un ca (Se servirá : Reser vas s 32 ra 0 o las 22 h 647-884 a re b u ct O e 62 d 0 9 0 o 0 Sábad ife Resort 966-3atango.com L a ol P ta n a S e www.ab Sala Teatro d

es Actuaciones

En la

DINNER DANCE

Every Friday & saturday at HOTEL MASA €15 per head, booking is essential as it’s always busy.

What’s on WHAT’S ON

on WHAT’S ONR

EADER

WHAT’S

OFFER!

29-31st October

3 days/2 nights in Toledo at the world famous SAFFRON FESTIVAL for only

, Gran Alacant

ta Pola 15 C/Monte de San

PAI N T BALL JD GOES TO PAINTBALL – OCT 23rd 2010 Not satisfied with splatting each other with rotten veg’ at the Tomatina last month. Jungle Drums invite you to come along to Dolores and let out some of that stress and tension (that’s built up over the summer) at PAINTBALL on the 23rd of October.

We’ve booked the whole place for the day just for Jungle Drums readers and at a special rate of only 25€ per person (which includes 100 paintballs). Thereafter the ammo will cost 5€ per 100 and a free ‘100’ is supllied after you’ve bought three lots (i.e. spent 15€ on ammo). Anyone attending can also bring their own food for lunch which will be cooked on the barbecue by our hosts while we play…not bad eh?

We also have the option of an evening meal at The Wishing Well Bar/Restaurant in Dolores for 6pm. A choice of three options and two courses of good old homemade british grub for just 10€ - wash that down with a pint and you’ll have a great end to what will be a fun day.

Numbers are limited (60 max) for the day so get in quick if you want to come.

Either email Dave at Dave@thejungledrums.com or call in to one of our agents (call 606 540 408) for your local agent) to pay the deposit and assure your place.

Up for it?

UMS! !

JUNGLERDR FARE WA

23rd Oct 2010 - Dolores Limited numbers

only

25€

Whole Day

DON’T MISS OUT! Ask here for details

If you’re coming to the paintball and the meal afterwards – where I’m sure there’ll be tales of bravado to heard – then we need per15€ deposit per per son. If its just for the day’s paintballing dethen it’s a 10€ de posit.

Get your name down now and lets get painting!

145€

Don’t miss this special offer:.. ...a trip to Toledo to see the famous saffron festival Plus the amazing Alcazar Castle amd much more!

For those gourmet travellers amongst you,

Another traditional event is Molienda de Paz

you can come to the picturesque town of Con-

- flour-milling in one of the oldest and best

suegra in La Mancha during the saffron festi-

preserved windmills in Spain. Visitors can see

val, called “Festival de la Rosa del Azafrán” in

wheat flour being made at Sancho windmill in

October.

Consuegra.

On top of these main activities, the festival al-

Jungle drums have teamed up with ANAYMA-

ways offers a brilliant food festival in D José

TOURS to offer our readers this exclusive offer

Ortega y Munilla street, parades, live singing,

of two nights in one of Spain’s miost beauti-

dancing, exhibitions, sports competitions, as

ful cities to enjoy the Saffron festival, and, of

well as visits to the surrounding Saffron fields.

course, the beauty of this historic city.

All of Consuegra’s monuments are also open to the public.

The FIESTA DE AZAFRAN is a unique folkloric festival that offers a range of activities from contests to see who can extract the crocus the fastest, to processions of the masked Gigantes y Cabezudos (“giants and big-heads”). Other sights nearby include the many wineries of La Mancha, the beautiful village of Almagro with its ancient theatre and the castle of Alarcon and of course the stunning city of Toledo.

ITINERARY Collection from your nearest town.

Arrive in Toledo and take a tour of the city, dinner and then overnight in your hotel 2nd day Breakfast and then off to Consuegra for a tour and then a visit to the Saffron festival Back to the hotel for dinner

Dating back to 1963, the event aims to promote

3rd day

the cultural identity of La Mancha through craft,

Breakfast and then off to the amazing

food and competitions. Saffron plays a promi-

Alcazar Castle before making the journey

nent role in this as around 90% of Spain’s saf-

home to your original point of origin.

fron production is from this region.

Collection from Gran Alacant La Marina Guardamar Quesada Rojales

The Monda competitions are a particular highlight, where participants separate the saffron spice from the flower, a delicate process that only the nimblest of fingers can achieve.

Held in the town’s Plaza de España, there are Monda contests for children, locals and also experts from other Spanish regions. The National Monda on the final day is worth seeing as all competitors wear traditional dress from their respective regions.

Ana and Maria at Anaymatours will answer any questions that you have.

TO BOOK: ANAYMATOURS Avda, Pais Valeniano 44 Guardamar or call:

96 672 6665 or 636 388 581

and remember to mention Jungle Drums!

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

51

10€

ONLY in JUNGLE DRUMS

MOUNTAIN VIEW

CAT HOTEL

Hondon de las Nieves/Frailes Centrally heated houses with large indiviudual runs.

Love and care will be lavished during your cat’s stay My 29 years of experience in animal and veterinary care will give you peace of mind.

HAIR & BEAUTY

STILL ONLY €6.00 per day to visit book/call:

Carol or Paul 966 677 273 answerphone - we will call back Mobile 654 155 473

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avda mediterraneo 72 GRAN ALACANT Behind Thomas greens

96 669 5031

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TLF: 966 699 940 e-mail: mpcandies@live.com

52

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

ADVERTISING from only

10€

ONLY in JUNGLE DRUMS

Computer Troubles?

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21

ADVERTISING in from only

10€

Tel. 606 540 408

DIVE ACADEMY SANTA POLA

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

53

BUSINESS DIRECTORY DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 BLUE MOON SOLUTIONS All Areas Tel. 655 044 970 SPANISH INKS All Areas www.spanishink.com COMENERSOL

ANIMAL RESCUE

CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

HEATING

CONVEYANCING

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUE Bacarot Tel 96 596 0224

BABY ITEMS

Novelda Tel. 96 560 5437 ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA

DENTAL

LA CANASTILLA BLANCA El Altet Tel. 96 568 7710

Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781 BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 DENTURES DIRECT

BARS ORO Y SAL Gran Alacant Tel. 627 424 597 SHEILA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 634 098 148

DIVING

La Marina Tel. 96 679 0954 LA MARINA ANIMAL WELFARE La Marina Tel 96 679 5593 MALVINA BOOKS La Romana Tel. 96 569 6656 CORNER BOOKS Hondon Nieves Tel. 628 264 109

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE ALTOMAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353 CANDELA CHIMNEYS Elche Tel. 649 039 351 CLIVE COOMBER Gran Alacant Tel 669 593 212 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040 CHRIS SLADDEN All Areas Tel. 686 635 860

Elche Tel. 96 543 15 54 SANTA POLA DIVE ACADEMY

DOCTORS Santa Pola Tel. 96 541 4510 CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411

JEWELLRY THE GOLD MAN All Areas Tel. 630 867 924

DOMESTIC APPLIANCES

KENNELS

EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455 APPLIANCE FIX Gran Alacant Tel. 96 618 3024 EURONICS

JEAN & DAVE’S Hondon Tel. 660 969 529 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 618 283

ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

MORTGAGES

Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365 CCW ELECTRICAL Gran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA

MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

MOSQUITO NETS MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319

ENTERTAINMENT

NATURE

Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040 FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 LINE DANCE

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS TIBA All Areas Tel. 902 906 015

CAR HIRE

MALCOLM PALMER Santa Pola Tel 96 608 2454

NURSING

ESTATE AGENTS

XTRA RENT A CAR Santa Pola Tel 607 850 664 CARWISER All Areas Tel. 96 597 1866 HONDON RENT A CAR Hondon Tel 96 610 5205

CARE IN THE COMMUNITY All areas Te. 96 597 5459

La Marina Tel. 96 679 0662 IPG La Marina Tel. 96 679 5233 MASA INTERNATIONAL Gran Alacant Tel. 629 251 747 TOP ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357 VICTORIA

CARPENTRY MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 DAVALLOO Gran Alacant Tel. 672 795 225 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

OPTICIANS CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel 966 698 802 GRAN PLAYA OPTICA Santa Pola Tel. 96 669 1208 SPECSAVERS Torrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249

FARMACIAS

OSTEOPATH

Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7779 FARMACIA GRAN ALACANT

FISCAL Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471 ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781 WWB

CAR REPAIRS RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 PERFORMANCE & DIESEL Guardamar Tel. 96 610 7606 SWAN AUTOS La Marina Tel. 96 692 4501

FURNITURE

CAR SALES

All Areas Tel. 96 619 6563 COMPLETE UPHOLSTERY All Areas Tel. 96 569 9305 NEW 2 YOU Dolores Tel. 96 571 5608 SECOND HAND FURNITURE

FWR CARS El Altet Tel. 96 568 7976 RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 CLUB CARS La Marina TEL. 96 618 0006 COCHES GUARDAMAR La Marina Tel. 646 763 645

HAIRDRESSING

Marina Tel. 96 644 3370 FRANCESC AGULLO

CAR TRANSFERS CAR SERVICE CENTRE La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 HEADLAMP EXCHANGE La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938 LEGAL SOLUTIONS La Marina Tel. 96 679 6060 RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTS La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

HEALTH & BEAUTY Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031 BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031 MARINA HAIR & BEAUTY Gran Alacant Tel. 606 600 853

HOUSEHOLD SERVICES DRAINBUSTERS All Areas Tel. 96 611 5903 MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319

INSURANCE

DETECTIVES

CARDS & MORE

DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel: 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

ALMARCHA INSURANCE La Marina Tel. 96 572 9747 PERPETUO SOCORRO La Zenia Tel. 678 570 632 ROWLAND INSURANCE Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3076 SANTA LUCIA Gran Alacant Tel. 685 161 183 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781 LINEA DIRECT All Areas TEL. 902 123 975

Gran alacant Tel. 619 185 122 GRUPO 2

BOOKS

54

HEARING

COMPUTERS

AIR CONDITIONING

ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034 MAYO

PAINTERS / DECORATORS

Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

PETS CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 2328 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax Tel 96 618 2838 MOUNTAIN VIEW CAT HOTEL Hondon Tel. 96 667 7273

La

PHYSIOTHERAPY ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

PLUMBERS DMF PLUMBING All Areas Tel. 96 679 9740 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

PROPERTY RENTALS INVEST SPAIN Elche Tel. 96 542 9396

REMOVALS MISTER VAN All Areas Tel. 697 775 588 TRUCK IT All Areas Tel. 96 644 1779

RESTAURANTS COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509 LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 OUR PLAICE FISH & CHIPS La Marina Tel. 96 679 5418 SAFFRON Gran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098 WISHING WELL Dolores Tel. 96 671 1653

SIGNS / SIGN WRITING CORTES SIGNS Santa Pola Tel. 686 464 076

SOLICITORS PELLICER HEREDIA Alicante/Hondon + Tel. 96548 0737

SUNBLINDS TOLDOS PENALVER Santa Pola Tel. 96 543 2350

SUPERMARKETS AJ’s Hondon Nieves Tel. 96 548 0718 SWIMMING POOL (MAINTAINANCE)

GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184 PJ’s All Areas Tel 619 501 657 SWIMMING POOL (CONSTRUCTION)

REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

TAX ADVICE ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

TOBACCO ESTANCO 7 Santa Pola Tel. 96 669 4716

TRANSLATORS ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MITCH BULL Gran Alacant Tel. 638 608 422 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

TRANSPORT AIRPORT FLYER All Areas Tel. 618 834 774 TAXI Santa Pola Tel 609 959 408

TV DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 GRAN ALACANT TV Santa Pola Tel. 677 878 210

VETS CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 8463

POSTAL EASYPOST All Areas Tel. 96 672 0959

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55