The Courier Edition 235

Edition 235

www.thecourier.es

Friday 21st August 2015

PORN RING SMASHED ALEX TRELINSKI

A

13 man group that swapped child pornography on the internet has been arrested by the National Police, with five British nationals detained including a former Alicante Province resident being held in Manchester , in addition to a registered British sex offender in Malaga. The ring used “peer to peer” internet sharing to exchange what the National Police described as “extreme” pornographic material involving very young children. They carried out raids in Madrid, Alicante, Badajoz, Girona, Guadalajara, Baleares, Lugo, Malaga and Valencia, and besides the arrests, they seized a stack of gear including 38 hard drives; 13 computers; 11 pen drives; three tablets; 103 CDs and

DVDs; five mobile phones; a wireless receiver ;and four memory cards.

Information on the British arrests was limited as The Courier went to press but the National Police said that the man held in Malaga had served four years in a British jail for child sex abuse and was categorised as a high risk sex offender back in the

UK, and was the subject of an order that meant that he could have no contact with children aged 16 or under.

The man detained in Manchester had apparently recently moved there after living in the Costa Blanca region, and Interpol helped in his arrest. No details were made available on the other three British nationals. Of

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the non-British arrests, six were Spaniards; one was Italian; and the other Venezuelan. The National Police added the investigation was still ongoing to find out who had actually produced the material and whether any of those detained were directly involved in any of the videoed abuse.

BITE-SIZED TRUTH

U

K tabloid newspapers got themselves into a frenzy over a possible shark attack on a Benidorm beach last Monday, with nothing as basic as the facts being allowed to get in the way of a good yarn. It appears that a half metre long green/greycoloured barracuda or bluefish bit a 10 year old boy when he was playing in the water at Poniente beach.

The local police said the youngster was treated by medical staff on site and did-

n’t need hospital treatment.

A photo was taken of the bite and sent for analysis at the maritime institute, with the beach area(clearly devoid of killer sharks), being reopened for normal business some 45 minutes later. Despite official statements from the council and local maritime experts, British newspapers have persisted with bogus claims that a shark caused the boy’s injury. No wonder that August back in the UK is

WHATSON’S TV VIEWS

The Courier TV Pull-out The latest news from tele-land 21st August - 27th August known as the silly season for

journalism!

Starts page 19

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Friday 21st August 2015

ALL LOCKED UP Your Bigger, Bolder, Brighter Courier Telephone 966 921 003

Email office@thecourier.es

Website www.thecourier.es

Head Office C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja

Opening Hours Mon - Fri 10.30 - 16.00

Editor Alex Trelinski

Production Editors Nicola Cross & Mark Nolan

The National Police have arrested a gang, nine of whom were Torreviejabased, that robbed at least 35 villas along the Mediterranean coast.

National Police DirectorGeneral, Ignacio Cosidó, told reporters in Alicante City that 23 people had been detained and that the crew could have staged many other break-ins.

Cosidó said that the National Police had been tipped off by Romanian authorities that a burglary gang based in Alicante Province were operating along the coast and so the police started a major operation which saw nine people arrested in Torrevieja in May, followed by three more being detained in Alicante Province, and eleven arrests in Barcelona. The gang would target homes

that were owned by foreigners and they would rob them once they were certain that the properties were not occupied. Cosidó added that a Pakistani-led group was used to dispose of the stolen goods, especially

A SHARP EXIT

Nicola Cross

Advertising Sales 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es

Sally Los Alcazares, Tel. 618 391 491

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Jean Orihuela Costa Tel. 618 898 034

Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265

Writers Alex Trelinski Mark Nolan Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies Nicola Cross

A bungling bank robber was left red-faced when bank customers over-powered him in the Matola area of Elche last Friday lunchtime. The 63 year old man waited patiently for the local Sabadell Bank branch to open and went in with a cunning disguise of a false nose and beard, as well as wearing a hat, in addition to waving around a gun with no bullets in it. Customers

and bank staff snatched his empty weapon and threw him to the floor after he demanded money from the cashier. The police then arrived to cart him away ahead of a court appearance, with even their pixilated faces suggesting that the whole incident raised a smile. The man is said to have a criminal record, and was refused bail when he appeared before the judge.

OOPS!

A family of four, including two children aged ten and six, escaped unharmed when their pleasure boat caught fire last Sunday lunchtime off Levante beach in Benidorm. They jumped overboard when the blaze started and were picked up by a passing boat who then transferred them to a police vessel that took them back to dry land.

Head of Layout

Torrevieja & North Tel. 618 583 765

electrical and computer items, which one of them flogged off in his own shop.

Stolen items recovered include 120 mobile phones; 30 watches; 13 laptops; as well as computer tablets and televisions.

STICK UP

HEAT DEATH A 61 year old Torrevieja man died of heatstroke after he fell unconscious to the ground outside a city supermarket last Thursday afternoon (August 13th).

The incident happened at 3.00pm and when paramedics arrived, he was already in a coma and with a high temperature. He was taken to Torrevieja Hospital but died there later, with a spokesman confirming that he had passed away due to heatstroke. His death came after Torrevieja logged a record August high of 38.2

Workers have been drafted in to prune palm trees that have been collapsing around the Santa Pola area.

One tree crashed onto a car roof last week with the council having to close Peñagrande market because of the risk of falling trees. Public services councillor Paco Soler blamed the previous administration for

not carrying out any tree maintenance this year, adding that there wasn't even a safety harness for work to be carried out. Red weevil disease has infected a number of trees with Soler saying that the municipality had hired a team of specialists from Elche to deal with the trees that need the most attention.

COSTA RIP OFF

degrees according to the Mastral Project, though val-

ues went substantially down over last weekend.

Alicante Province and the Costa Blanca still has the most expensive petrol and diesel prices in the whole of mainland Spain according to latest figures. Province like

Aragon offer the chance for motorists to fill up around seven cents a litre cheaper, whilst prices in the Murcia region are below the national average.

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Friday 21st August 2015

FIRE FOUGHT

Arsonists kept fire crews busy in the Pinada de Guardamar area on Monday afternoon as two separate blazes were spotted at around 2.30pm. A local crew plus three other teams in addition to a helicopter were scrambled to deal with the incidents and it took until about 5.00pm to bring the fire under control in the forest. The area was already hit by fire in early July close to La Marina village.

ACCESS ALL AREAS

Disabled access to San Pedro del Pinatar's Villananitos beach has been praised by Murcia's Public Works minister, Francisco Barnabas, on a visit to the area. Barnabas said that Villananitos beach offered some of the best disabled access in the whole of the Murcia region, and that the government was seeking to make access universal for people of all kinds of disabilities under the Draft Law of Universal Accessibility

QUICK CLIMB

Elche resident Isaac Carbonell got the fastest palm tree climbing honours in Saturday's second international Palm Climbing championships outside Elche's Altamira Palace. Carbonell scrambled the ten and a half metre tall tree in just under 20 seconds, with the 'Espardenya d'Or' award for the master palmer going to Demetrio Lopez from Crevillente. 30 people took part in the event including a contender dressed as a red weevil to emphasise the danger that palm trees face from the dreaded insect.

Three fire fighters killed and four injured in Washington State wildfire Massive blast targeted security services in Cairo Driver caught doing 157mph on A46 in Lincolnshire

CANASTERA FREED

TROMBA TORNADO

Cooling temperatures last Saturday afternoon produced a sighting of what to most people would appear to be tornado in the La Manga and Mar Menor areas at around 4.00pm.

Meteorologists from the state agency AEMET described it as a "tromba marina" (waterspout) which is created at sea and disappears once it hits land.

Another waterspout was also spotted in the area, with localised downpours hitting

The Latest Headlines

Two rare birds are enjoying outdoor life in the Mar Menor after being born at Murcia’s El Valle Wildlife Protection Centre, and

released last Tuesday morning (pictured).

The canastera is a protected national species and was once technically declared as extinct in the Murcia region, but it is making a significant return. A number of nests were discovered recently close to farmland and possible danger in the Marina del Carmolí area, with the eggs being taken to El Valle so that they could hatch in safety. The canastera is now a recovering species with some 50 breeding pairs being monitored across the area in places like Los Alcázares and Santiago de la Ribera.

HEALTH CHECK Los Alcazares earlier in the

with 15 Spaniards as well as an Irish national being collared. The operation started back in October last year, with arrests being made in Benidorm, Elche, Los Alcazares, and Pilar de la Horadada, with the operation uncovering a major marijuana plantation in the basement of a furniture store in Novelda in June.

Germany expecting record 800,000 migrants this year, four times as many as 2014 New data suggests Chinese pollution have been overestimated Buffalo Bill’s house from Silence of the Lambs film goes on sale in Pennsylvania Lady Gaga threatens manufacturer over Baby Gaga breast milk ice cream Ryanair apologises for forcing passenger to sit near vomit Men claim to have found Nazi train loaded with gold in Poland Seven killed in mid-air crash between two parachute planes in Slovakia Lithium battery and crossed wires likely behind 2013 Boeing fire at Heathrow

afternoon.

DRUGS BUST

29 people, including four Britons, have been arrested as the National Police smashed a major drugs gang that operated in Alicante Province and the Murcia region. 13 house searches were made over a period of months with the last series of arrests being made in Los Alcazares, Abanilla, Yecla, and Sangonera la Verde,

Israeli spy dolphin caught off Gaza coast

Ten die as truck crashes, burns and falls from bridge in Mexico 50 million euro is needed to improve the state of health centres across Alicante Province, according to the Valencian government's health minister, Carmen Monton.

She

wants to get the extra money from the 2016 state budget, saying that some 70 buildings needed urgent work done on them, including Alicante's general hospital.

Greece makes debt repayment, minister calls for snap polls Russia looks to make food smuggling as serious as arms trade

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Friday 21st August 2015

NEW BROOM

Torrevieja mayor, Jose Manuel Dolon, has pledged to end what he says has been "nepotism and cronyism" over the running of the local water company, Agamed. The Green party mayor says that he's determined to end corruption and the awarding of contracts to friends and acquaintances of previous Partido

Popular administrations over the years. Dolon added that he wants to see Agamed, in which the council has a 26 percent stake, become more competitive and profitable. "I want to see a stop to a scandalous abuse of power which has seen a serious disregard for the interest of local people", pledged Dolon.

PREDATORY PLAN

Two San Miguel de Salinas based groups have asked the PSOE-led regional Valencian government to pull out of an appeal over a rejected General Plan for the area. The San Miguel Arcangel residents association and the Friends of Sierra Escalona want the new Valencian administration to disassociate itself from the previous PP government's joint appeal with the San Miguel council

lodged last year against a Valencia High Court judgement that the Plan was illegal. The population of the municipality is around seven thousand people but the blocked General Plan envisaged the building of 40 thousand new properties and the population rocketing by over 100 thousand.

The two groups described the plan as "wild, speculative, unsustainable and predatory".

The Guardia Civil have introduced a mounted patrol along stretches of the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage walk in northern Spain following on from April's disappearance of American walker, Denise Thiem, who to this day has still not be found. The Camino is a trail

walked by pilgrims en route to Santiago de Compostela cathedral, but following on Thiem's disappearance and incidents of female hikers being assaulted by men, the Guardia have now gone onto horseback on parts of the route which have no vehicular access.

CANOPY ROT HORSE PATROL

A group of Campoamor residents have met with coastal councillor Sofia Alvarez and her colleague Noelia Grau to call for the removal of rotting corrugated car park roofing in the area.

They fear that the

canopies may have asbestos in them and well past the date for them to be replaced. The councillors pledged to hold a further meeting and promised that action would be forthcoming from the council's environment department.

SPREADING THE WORD

A limited free municipal internet Wi-Fi service has been launched around parts of Torrevieja, under the promotional banner of WAIT. Essentially, with prior registrations at places like the Tourist Information Office, users can access around 45 websites that provide information about different

aspects of the municipality, The service, supplied by the local TVT company, is available in places like the Plaza de la Constitución; Paseo de Vista Alegre, and Plaza de Oriente, as well as the Sports City area in addition to parts of La Mata plus the Los Náufragos and el Cura beaches.

CROC OF TROUBLE

A crocodile hailing from the River Nile was one of a whole haul of illegally kept animals that was seized by the Guardia Civil from the homes of five people in León province last week, with all of the "owners" being charged with illegal possession. The fully-grown crocodile, which had been

taken from the Nile in Egypt when it was very young, was actually being kept as a pet by a man in Val de San Lorenzo. 118 rare birds were also seized by the Guardia's wildlife branch, Seprona, from four addresses in Camponaraya, with 80 linnets and 38 goldfinches being kept illegally.

LIGHTER LOAD

Santa Pola is looking to get European grant funding to switch its public lighting to energy efficient LED versions, which also offer significant financial savings.

The council wants to make the switch in all public buildings as well as to street lights, within a four year period, resulting in a 60% reduction in lighting bills.

LOW COST BOOST

Budget airlines are leading the way once again in the Valencia region and the Costa Blanca on the back of last week’s positive news on local airport traffic and hotel bookings. Figures show that just over 462 thousand passengers using low cost carriers like Ryanair used Alicante-Elche airport in

July, an increase of over six percent on the same month last year. The first seven months of 2015 show that the Valencia region has welcomed two point nine million low-cost passengers, a rise of seven point five percent over last year, of which over three-quarters have arrived at the facility at El Altet.

Six people, including a Frenchman and an Italian, have been arrested by the National Police for extorting money from businessmen across Alicante Province.

The racket involved the gang making threatening phone calls and personal visits to

people claiming that they owed them money, which they didn’t. The operation saw arrests across the area last week including in Elche, Elda, and Catral, with 10 thousand euro being recovered at a finca where some of the extortionists lived.

FRAUD FINISHED

TORRE ROTONDA

A new roundabout is set to make access safer to Torre de la Horadada with it scheduled to open in time for Easter next year.

Pilar mayor, Ignacio Ramos, said that the quarter of a million euros project will see the roundabout built

on the road that links the N332 to the Lo Monte urbanisation at the junction of Avenida Escultor Sánchez Lozano and Avenida Pais Valenciano.

The area's cycle path will also be extended to the N332.

A man apparently went for a swim at Santa Pola’s Playa Lisa on Tuesday, not to be seen again.

Fellow swimmers called in the authorities after the bather’s disappearance with the Guardia Civil and local Fire Brigade leading the operation, which also includ-

ed a helicopter flying over the area on Wednesday in addition to a motor launch circling the Lisa and Tamarit beaches on Tuesday.

No sightings were made and authorities now believe it was a genuine false alarm especially since nobody has been reported missing.

BEACH RIDDLE

News

Friday 21st August 2015

TRUNKS A LOT!

One of Terra Natura’s most famous residents at their park in Benidorm will be 43 years old this weekend. Elefanta Petita will be given a special party thanks to a Hindu Holi festival with dancing and a special elephant cake to be enjoyed by all the elephants there as they will also be wearing own Hindu traditional dresses. The occasion will end with a colour and water battle!

It’s different times for Petita, as when she first arrived at Terra Natura, she

was picked on by the other elephants who thought she was ugly, until one of the younger elephants, Kaiso,

took pity on Petita, and began to play with her and managed to integrate her into the family.

TREND BUCKED

Despite figures featured

in The Courier a fortnight

ago showing big increases in drowning tragedies in Spain this year, the Murcia region has a very different story to tell, with the number of deaths by drowning almost halved compared to 2014. So far the figures for this year show the number of water-related deaths down from 18 to 11, though the number of people helped by the team of 250 lifeguards (picture on an exercise drill in San Javier) has risen by three to 41.

DOG DIRT FIGHT

The north-eastern city of Tarragona is set use DNA analysis of dog droppings to track down owners who fail to clear up their pet’s mess.

The city is planning to work with a local university to create a DNA database of registered dogs that could be used to identify their owners, said Ivana Martinez, the city’s city councillor for public spaces.

Droppings found on the street or in parks could then be matched through the DNA database to a registered pet, and its owner issued with a fine, she added.

Locally, both Crevillente and Elche councils have talked in the last

eighteen months about introducing similar databas-

es, but the idea has so far come to nothing.

COSTLY POST

An Alicante Province woman has been fined 800 euro for posting a photo on Facebook of a police car that was parked in a disabled parking spot. It wasn’t so much the picture but the words with it that irked authorities. The unnamed woman from Petrer near Elda posted the picture with

the comment: - "Park where you bloody well please and you won't even be fined".

The police tracked her down within two days and fined her under Spain's controversial new Security Law, which prohibits "the unauthorised use of images of police officers that might jeopardise their or their family's safety

or that of protected facilities or police operations".

Fines under this section of the law range from 600 euros up to 30 thousand euros, with human rights groups saying that instances of police misbehaviour or brutality need to be recorded as a fundamental right. Fernando Portillo from the local police in Petrer said that the officers had to park in the disabled area because they were dealing with a report of vandalism in a park close by, and he said the officers felt the woman had impugned their honour by posting the picture alongside her strong comments. It wasn’t clear though in the police statement in what way the woman’s posting jeopardised police safety.

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Friday 21st August 2015

BABYLON CLOSURE

Guardamar council have closed a 640 metre stretch of Babylon beach due to safety reasons, namely the dangerous state of some of the buildings as well as the poor condition of the pavements and breakwater

structures. Local residents have long complained about the lack of attention being paid to facilities in the area because of the Coastal Law, and that their part of the municipality has long been ignored.

BOYFRIEND COLLARED

MIDWEEK FIRES DIGGING UP TROUBLE

Two major fires broke out in Wednesday across the Vega Baja area. Firstly a forest blaze that took hold in the Salinas de Santa Pola was finally brought under control at around 6.30pm. but not before it had destroyed almost a hectare of shrub land. Then Los Montesinos (pictured) was

hit in the evening as around two thousand square metres of reed and scrub land next to the natural park was burnt, with fire crews scrambled at around 9.30pm from Almoradi, Guardamar del Segura and Torrevieja. Early indications are that the blaze was started deliberately.

DESPERATE MEASURES

Three farmers face big fines after ploughing up a field in southern Spain, which is the site of major Roman excavation. The site in Ategua in Córdoba province holds remains dating back to the year 200 AD. Foundation stones, fragments of columns, shards of ceramic pottery, the remains of an exterior wall and opus signinum or Roman symbols lay in abundance in the dig, and the vast majority have been broken after the field was ploughed.

The Roman dig was declared an official Historical and Artistic

Monument in 1982 and, by dint of the Spanish Historical Heritage law, bears the stamp of of Cultural Asset (BIC, or Bien de Interés Cultural). It stands on a plot of land which is privatelyowned, but still requires a series of permits and licences from the regional Andalucia government before any type of alterations of the terrain, however minor, are started. None of the three farmers held any such permit, and were reported by residents from the village of Santa Cruz, which the Ategua archaeological site belongs to.

DRUNKEN COST The missing ex-boyfriend of a woman found dead alongside her friend in the province of Cuenca was arrested in Romania last Friday morning. As reported in The Courier last week, Sergio Morate Garcés vanished on August 6th, the same day as Ukrainian, Marina Okarynska, 24 and Laura del Hoyo Chamón, 26, went missing. Laura's car was found near the Morate-Garcés family home in the countryside the following day.

The women had gone to Sergio's house to collect Marina's personal belongings which she had left there after the relationship broke up, and were both found dead on Wednesday last week on the banks of the river Huécar. Sergio was found in the early hours

of last Friday morning in Romania, having driven all the way there and pointedly not used his mobile phone or credit cards in a bid to avoid being traced.

Initial suspicions centred on his having decamped to France. Inquiries to date hint that he planned the crime down to the last detail, having purchased limestone from a builder's yard before the women's visit. They were partially buried in limestone when they were found, and it appears the killer had attempted to burn the bodies, without success. He has protested his innocence to the Romanian media, and now faces being sent back to Spain to face murder charges, though he claims that he fears for his life if he is extradited.

SNIFFED OUT

An Elche police dog probably got an extra biscuit or two last Monday night after he managed to sniff out a big drugs stash at the city’s bus station that was destined for Barcelona.

The coach had arrived at 8.30pm on the regular “hot” route from the southern port of Algeciras, with the crafty

canine detecting two rucksacks full of drugs, mainly marijuana, as well as associated paraphernalia being carried by the North African passenger, whose journey ended abruptly with a detour to the local police station as well as his items being seized including nearly 800 euro in cash.

Three young African men who squeezed into hidden compartments in a car to enter a Spanish enclave in North Africa were found in a critical condition by border police last week.

Photos released by the Interior Ministry last Friday showed one of the migrants curled up in the spare wheel well of the vehicle, which had been turned into a hidden compartment. Two others were found in another false bottom built into the car.

They could not stand and could barely breathe because of the cramped

space, heat and exhaust gases, the ministry said.

They recovered after being given emergency treatment.

The three - two from Guinea and one from Ivory Coast, aged from 18 to 25 were found when border police at a crossing between Morocco and the Spanish enclave of Melilla grew suspicious and searched the car.

The 39-year-old Spanish driver of the car was arrested, accused of a "crime against the rights of foreign citizens", the ministry said in a statement.

GET THE HEMP

Callosa de Segura celebrated it's hemp industry last Saturday as part of the annual summer fiestas with the hemp event being first staged in 1986.

The area has a substantial connection with the hemp industry over the years and experts were on hand to demonstrate what

hemp could be used to make, like shoes, soap, and ropes, in addition to sweets, beer, and oils. The Callosa council is hoping for government approval to turn the area into one of cultural national interest in relation to hemp, with the hemp museum in the town already a popular attraction.

A drunk passenger who disrupted a Jet2 flight to Ibiza back in July and who was then given a lifetime ban by the carrier, has now been given a bill to the tune of nearly four thousand euro for what the company described as "costs incurred".

Jamie Ferguson, 21, flew to Ibiza in July but was sent back to Glasgow six days later after being arrested by the Spanish police.

When the Glasgow flight touched down on Ibiza on July 13th, Ferguson, who was displaying drunk-like behaviour, ignored seat belt signs, left his seat, and ran aggressively towards a female member of the cabin crew who was seated and strapped in, ready for landing.

Ferguson leant towards the crew member, shouting into her face that he needed to use the toilet, while using

foul and abusive language.

The exchange was overheard by the entire plane full of passengers, including children.

The incident ended when fellow crew members managed to calm Ferguson down, who by this time was being restrained by his friends.

When Ferguson was arrested by the police, Jet2 staff had to go to give statements and this led to knockon delays and extra charges incurred by the airline, with the return flight being delayed by two hours, with 179 passengers being left frustrated.

Ferguson is now left with having to pick up the costs in what travel experts say is the first case of its kind that they have come across, which is part of Jet2's new no-tolerance policy towards drunken behaviour, in a hope to reduce incidents.

Dave Silver

7

Friday 21st August 2015

Happy Birthday to...well, not me!

TODAY would have been the late Princess Margaret's birthday. I never ever did send her a card. Why would I have done? She never ever sent one to me. As you might have guessed by now, Margaret and I shared the same birthday -- August 21st.

True, she was always quite a few years older than me but I am secure in the knowledge that if anyone were ever to ask me what I was doing on the Princess's 16th birthday I could reply without hesitation that I was being born at Crossley's, the Salvation Army hospital in Ancoats, Manchester.

And while we're on the subject, it might interest you to know that my son shares his birthday with the Duke of Edinburgh on June 10th.

However, my family's royal births link ends there. My daughter was born on December 28th which suggests she was either a belated Christmas present or an early New Year gift.

As for Mrs S, she doesn't figure in any of this because she has refused to acknowledge her birthdays since 1989.

Anyway, why my mother chose to have me in a Salvation Army hospital I don't know. Indeed, I haven't the foggiest notion as to why she bothered having me at all.

Notwithstanding the biological premise that pregnancy is a process which has to come to a conclusion, I really haven't a clue as to why I was given the nod by the Great Casting Director in the Heavens to become yet another bit-part player on the world stage.

I am paraphrasing Shakespeare here and that was the bloke who had the misfortune to allegedly die on his 52nd birthday -- blown out along with his candles as it were.

'Is there any point to your wittering-on about the Salvation Army and Shakespeare and his candles?' asked Dave the barman at the pub two nights ago.

'There certainly is,' I replied. 'I'm simply reminding you that in 48 hours' time you will be putting on a surprise birthday party for me.'

'You don't mince your words, do you, David?' observed the leader of -- and the only female in -- our little group. Andromeda Arkwright was loved by all the male pubsters and particularly adored by Dave the barman because Andromeda bought most of the drinks for the lads.

'Sorry,' I mumbled. 'It's just that I've tended to hide in the background ever since I was a child.'

Andromeda Arkwright tutted in sympathy. 'Do you mean to tell us that your parents never made you feel special by throwing you a birthday celebration on the most special annual occasion of your life?'

'Of course they held a party for me,' I replied. 'But apart from Mother and Dad and my older brother, there was also a motley collection of domestic pets in the house so I wasn't much able to bask in the limelight.

'Of course, Rover was the special child,' I grumbled on.

'What!' gasped Daft Barry.

'Your big brother was called Rover?'

'Nah,' I said. 'That was our scruffy mongrel's name.

Rover plus Tiddles the Cat and Joey the budgie were also my mother's children.

But don't get me wrong. My brother and I were loved by

our parents. It's just that at mealtimes the animals got the best crockery and first use of the condiments.'

'Ah!' commented Andromeda Arkwright.

'Dysfunctional family.'

'I disagree,' said Daft Barry, misunderstanding Andromeda. ''Dis family is NOT functional.'

'Enough!' cried Dave the barman. 'I swear I'll shut the pub forever if this stupid conversation does not stop forthwith and somebody buys a round of drinks.'

Andromeda Arkwright placed money on the bar and looked around. 'But there's hardly anybody here.'

Dave the barman sighed.

'Those traitors Indoor Lou, Fearful Phil and the rest of those rascals have gone to another pub tonight.'

'But why?' chorused an incredulous Daft Barry and me.

Dave the barman almost spat out his bitter response.

'Because someone is having a surprise birthday party at the other pub -- which I refuse to name because it gets more customers than mine does -- and it turns out that those treacherous, backstabbing alleged friends of ours would rather patronise a different establishment than bum booze from my hostelry.'

What Dave the barman omitted to mention was that

any other pub's drinks might be a pleasant change and certainly more preferable than his own diluted ales and spirits.

Anyway, while Dave the barman paused to collect his breath, I interjected: 'But what about MY surprise birthday party two days hence?'

Dave the barman sighed.

'That's the surprise. You're NOT having one.'

I shook my head in despair and muttered: 'The ghost of Rover continues to wag its tail.'

Dave the barman continued to rant about his absent regulars. 'They are unfaithful, perfidious, two-faced, falsehearted, duplicitous, deceitful, false, untrue, untrustwor-

the thing.'

Our leader Andromeda Arkwright had been quiet up to now but all eyes (well, the few that were actually in the pub) turned to her as she spoke. 'I shall have a word with our absentee friends when they return to their second home tomorrow. And you, Dave Silver, SHALL go to the ball. I promise you a surprise birthday party on Friday night.'

Wow, I thought. In one stroke, the lovely Andromeda Arkwright had restored my self-esteem. I was standing tall.

At least I thought I was standing tall. It turned out that I'd actually stepped on the prostrate form of our former

thy, unreliable, undependable, fickle and two-timing.

Really, I can think of no words to describe them.

'Even Fag Ash Bill has gone to that other pub for the birthday bash. True, he can only stand outside on the pavement to smoke his ciggies but it's the principle of

guide and mentor Ol' Red Eyes who as usual was semicomatose on the carpet.

The old beggar now opened one rheumy peeper and announced: 'I shan't be attending your surprise birthday bash, Dave Silver. I'll be winding down after my hectic week.'

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News

Friday 21st August 2015

RISKY GAMBLE

The British Foreign Office and the British Embassy in Madrid are asking ex-pats

living in Spain to remind their family and friends that are visiting them over here

to make sure that are covered by adequate travel and health insurance.

The Foreign Office claims that a survey of people who lost their passports whilst on holiday to Spain this summer revealed the startling figure that around twenty percent of them had come over here without any form of insurance.

The British authorities have described as a “Getaway Gamble” and want all travellers to Spain and across Europe to be adequately covered as well carrying an up to date European Health Insurance Card (EHIC).

ALL MAXED OUT

Red-faced drunken mainly British and Scandinavian tourists have been left out of pocket in Magaluf on Mallorca by having their credit card details nicked by a gang whilst enjoying themselves at local hostess and sex bars.

The Guardia Civil have arrested 20 members of the crew who are believed to have defrauded at least 45 thousand euro from the cards, though the amount is likely to be more, but the final total according to officers may be difficult to tabulate as some of the victims are unlikely to come forward because they are embarrassed about going to the

bars and sex clubs.

The Guardia arrested four men and 16 women as part of their operation, which involved searching four hostess bars in Magaluf, including two owned by the suspected leader of the gang. The vic-

tims were said to be intoxicated when the fraudsters struck with numerous consecutive high amounts put on their credit cards. The tourists were easy prey as they drunkenly passed on their various pin and security codes.

QUICK LICK

Residents in a La Rioja village were greeted by an overnight surprise when they found their 18 rubbish and recycling banks painted in abstract colours, shapes and pictures by an anonymous artist.

Photos of the bins have

gone viral since then and, although the regional refuse collection board wants to replace them and fine whoever did it, residents want them left as they are.

The mayor of Badarán, a village with a population of 600 inhabitants some 35

kilometres from the region's capital city Logroño, is backing his residents.

Francisco Javier Ibáñez said that people gathered on the streets to physically prevent authorities from removing the bins, and have started hanging banners to ensure they stay put.

The refuse collection company says that wilful damage has been done to public property and says the mystery artist should be fined and forced to pay the cost of returning the bins to their original state, but Badarán's residents say that the painted rubbish banks have put their community on the map.

STOP THIEF!

An Alicante City car thief was shot at by a local police officer after he tried to run him over during a chase last Thursday night (August 13th). The drama unfolded in the Altozano area of the city after the man had stolen the vehicle from a local motor workshop only for him to end up driving towards a police checkpoint. Spotting the agents ahead, he did a Uturn down a one-way street, whilst police started to chase him in their car. A local police officer heard about the commotion a block away and tried to wave the car down in the road as it approached

him, but the driver was more interested in knocking him over. The officer got out of the way and managed to fire his gun twice at the car. The bullets shattered the windscreen with some of the glass shrapnel injuring the

thief which led to him bleeding. He then gave himself up to the pursuing National Police, with it being subsequently revealed that the 23 year old had various burglary charges pending against him.

News

THIEVES NETTED

A young hooded San Javier knifeman was one of

seven people rounded up by the Guardia Civil in the last

week for their alleged involvement in five robberies and attempted thefts committed across the Murcia region.

The San Javier incident saw the youth walk into a local shop wielding a knife and demanding that money be handed over to him.

The owner bravely stood his ground, with the failed thief running away emptyhanded. The Guardia Civil launched an investigation and managed to track him down and take him into custody along with other individuals (pictured) in Cartagena, Murcia City, as well as Calasparra.

POOL TRAGEDY A four-year-old British boy, Refeol Berkovits. from Golders Green, London, drowned in a villa swimming pool last Sunday at the Costa del Sol resort of Mijas. According to a Mijas municipality spokesman, there were some 20 people at the property, which is on a golf complex, when the youngster drowned.

The newspaper, Diario Sur, reported that Refeol’s parents were having dinner with friends while the child played with older children at the back of the property.

Refeol is reported to have fallen into the villa's swimming pool while running around it with older children.

9

Friday 21st August 2015

The newspaper said a 15year-old boy raised the alarm and a doctor, who was a guest at the dinner party, attempted to resusci-

tate the boy.

Paramedics then tried for more than half an hour to revive him before he was pronounced dead.

SHUTTLE COCK UP

The Badminton World Federation (BWF) has apologised after the old fascistera Spanish national anthem was played for gold medallist Carolina Marin at the world championships in

Indonesia. Marin successfully defended her world title in Jakarta last Sunday against India's Saina Nehwal, but she got a big shock on the podium once she her medal had been put

around her neck.

The public address system started blaring out a version of Spain's Royal March dating back to General Franco's fascist dictatorship, with the words having been removed by the country in 1978. They were written by poet Jose Maria Peman in 1928 and were adopted by Franco's nationalists in 1939 after their victory over leftwing forces in the Spanish Civil War. The mistake seemed to amuse Marin as she stood on the podium, with the old anthem including the words: "Glory to the Fatherland that knew how to follow, over the blue of the sea the path of the sun."

PARTY POOPERS

Residents of the Rambla de Campoamor area on the Orihuela Costa are up in arms after they claim that noise and rubbish made their life a misery after an outdoor pyjama party was staged last Wednesday night well into yesterday morning.

A local residents group described it as “a night of living hell” saying that most of the area was affected by the loud noise and music, classifying it as “embarrassing”.

Pictures taken by the residents showed the rubbish

dumped outside the venue, just weeks after the resi-

dents had to put up with a similar all night event.

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Friday 21st August 2015

BRILLIANT

The popular Spanish duo of Bella Luna boosted the coffers for the Paul Cunningham Nurses Charity by a valuable 600 euros at a special event at the Quesada Country Club last

Saturday. The next charity fund-raiser will be staged at the Posh Private Members Club in La Marina with Abba Elite performing. Tickets are available now on 865 777 281.

PANTO PREP CONTINUES The main cast of the Studio 32 pantomime, Dick Whittington, are not resting on their laurels for November’s production, with the principle actors busy working on their lines and roles during the summer holiday. Full rehearsals kick in next month, and there are still places for new members to join Studio 32, especially for the guys and also for the youngsters.

September will also see tickets go on s a l e for the panto which w i l l o n c e again be staged in San Fulgencio’s Cardenal Belluga theatre.

For more details, phone Ann on 966 318 019 or email liz@alpha9.co.uk

CHARITIES TOGETHER

The MABS Murcia Mar Menor cancer support group shop in San Javier got a surprise gift of a wheelchair, courtesy of another local charity in the shape of the animal rescue group, Galgos de Sol. Jamie Solero from Galgos presented Eilen Moores of MABS with the chair, which is urgently needed to help patients in the area. MABS supplies cancer sufferers with hospital beds, wheelchairs, walking frames and most type of equipment, free of charge.

Pictured at Galgos del Sol is their mascot Hank, who was a rescue dog, with the charity currently looking after over 100 dogs. Their shop is on Calle Sierra del Molar 2, San Javier right next door to Caravanning San Javier.

Both Charities are grateful for any donations of clothing, bric a brac, books, and furniture. Contact Galgos del Sol on 663 974 660 and MABS on 968 191 300(weekdays between 10.00am and 2.00pm) or on 615 016 035

Please Email Your

Local News & Events to office@thecourier.es

Local & News

HOME BOOST Close to 500 euros was raised for the Elche Children’s Home in a fundraising night at Restaurante El Alto La Dolores, Guardamar. Entertainment was provided by Woody who performed two sets including his ever popular tribute to Buddy Holly. Restaurant owners, Andres and Berna, once again donated a Mediterranean Cruise as first prize in the raffle, and this was won by Rita Hand, from Quesada, who is a regular

supporter of the charity nights at the venue. Next up at the restaurant will be Vinny Mack on Friday September 4th who will be entertaining and helping to raise funds for Torrevieja Stroke Support.

Tickets, at 10 euros for a twocourse meal and show, are available from the Restaurant (located on N332 between La Mata and Guardamar); the Post Room Benijofar; The Card Place in Benimar, or by calling 692 866 536.

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

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Friday 21st August 2015

The Advantages of Being Bilingual

This week we are continuing with some more useful phrases and expressions that you might want to use when you’re with some Spanish friends at say a local bar. Your waiter might bring the bottle to your table and begin to fill your glass.

He will then say to you ´dime cuanto´ and when the glass is full enough you can reply with ya!´ or just ´ahora´, because the waiter is saying to you ´say when´

and you reply with ´now´.

When your chat with your friends becomes quite opinionated, you can say (to my mind) ´en mi opinión´ and state what you think. If during the conversation you can´t quite believe what a friend has said you can say to them ´estás de broma´ which means ´you´re kidding´. Then, while you´re enjoying a chat about a friend of yours who is missing from the group, in they

walk and one of you says ´hablando del rey de Roma´ (speak/talk of the devil). You decide that you like the look of someone in the bar so you go to ´ligar con alguien´ (chat someone up) but it doesn´t go well and because of your really bad chat up lines you end up with a drink over your head!

Your friends all laugh and shout ‘lo mereces´ (it serves you right). You return to your table and chat with your friends, and a while later another acquaintance eventually arrives, ´m´s vale tarde que nunca!´ you shout at them laughing (better late than never!) and they come over and join you.

Your hear a story that you don’t believe and you want to say ´you´re pulling my leg´ but how can you say it?

You may have heard this common idiom ´me estás tomando el pelo´ ¿te suena? Sí, me suena(does it ring a bell with you? Yes it rings a bell). You then talk about another friend who has a successful business and how well they are doing, you say ´no me extraña´ he always works hard (no wonder/it doesn´t surprise me).

You wish you had your friends drive and enthusiasm, ´ojalá´ (if only) you say wistfully. You then go to pay the bill and ´pagar en efectivo´ (to pay cash) then tell

the barman ´quédate con el cambio´ (keep the change) During your chats, someone let the cat out of the bag (revelar un secreto) about a friend who is going to get the sack (ser despedido) ¡Qué pena! (what a pity) Before you leave the bar you say to your friends ´tomamos la penúltima´ (let´s have one for the road) and they reply ´tú eliges´ (it´s up to you). Instead you think it´ll be best to go to your place and have a drink there, so as you arrive you tell your guests ´siéntete como en tu casa´ (make yourself at home) and ´sírvete´ (help yourself).

After a great evening your

friends say ´tenemos que irnos´ (we must be off) and you say ´hasta la próxima´ (until the next time). The next day you wake up with una resaca terrible (a terrible hangover) and decide ´nunca más´ (never again).

I hope you’ve found my last two articles fun and informative, as Spanish is hard enough to learn without having to give ourselves a headache and maybe if we can put some phrases into a context they will be easier to remember. The best way to learn the language is to have a go, make mistakes, try hard, have fun, and with that in mind, let me remind you that I’m going to be

offering some Spanish classes with a native teacher this October. So if you’re in a position to get to Almoradí in the Vega Baja area and are interested in the classes, then give me a call or send me an e-mail without obligation. The classes will cater for all levels so don´t worry if you´re new to the language or a confident speaker as there will be something for everyone. The phone number is 625 437 217 and e-mail onevoicespain@gmail.com.

I look forward to hearing from you. As ever have a great week, and keep drinking the water (o cerveza o vino!).

12

Pets

Friday 21st August 2015

Companions for Leaving your best friend alone elderly people

There are a lot of benefits to owning a pet, especially for elderly people. They can keep you company when you are at home alone stroking them has been shown to help you relax and lower blood pressure, and looking after an animal helps keep the mind active.

Taking care of a pet is also a responsibility which can be quite demanding.

Dogs are the most demanding of the common types of pet, because they need a lot of exercise and also can't be left at home alone for too long. That being said, having a dog can be a good way to ensure you get enough exercise. If you enjoy walking, a dog can be a great companion to take with you, and dogs have the added benefit of providing protection for you at home.

If you are considering a dog, think carefully about the size and age. Puppies

require almost constant supervision and are full of energy.

Older dogs tend to be harder to rehome than puppies too, so if you are thinking about a rescue dog, you will have a wider choice.

In general, the bigger the dog, the more exercise it needs, so if you can't be sure you can walk miles every day, a small dog is a better choice as a little stroll to the shops or the park is generally enough.

Remember that dogs have quite a long life expectancy, so if you get a young dog, think about who will look after it and where it will live if you are no longer able to live at home or you pass away. These are obviously not nice things to think about, but if you are elderly you should consider that your dog may live for as long as 18 years, and will need care if you can no longer look after it.

Separation anxiety is a disorder that causes dogs to panic at the idea of being left home alone. The panic is so overwhelming that when you leave, dogs tend to become destructive, bark like crazy, and have housebreaking accidents. When you return home, their greetings are often

games of fetch or tug-of-war, an obedience class and a variety of toys. If boredom is the reason for the barking and chewing, you should see a big change in your dog's behaviour. If none of these things help, then you should continue to follow the steps to treat separation anxiety.

Change Your Behaviour Most of u s

frantic.

This condition is stressful for both dogs and owners, especially because regular obedience training does little to ease it.

The good news is that something can help reduce your dog's anxiety. It is referred to as systematic desensitization, and it is a method of gradually allowing your dog to get used to being left home alone. The following will guide you through the process:Rule Out Boredom People often mistake boredom for separation anxiety.

Both are accompanied by problem behaviours, such as destructive chewing and excessive barking. The difference is that boredom can be overcome by adding more exercise and mental stimulation to your dog's day, while those things have little or no impact on separation anxiety.

Try adding an extra walk,

have a routine we follow before we leave the house - shower, dress, grab keys, and walk out the door. Once he has recognized your routine, your dog's anxiety may start building from the first step. This means his anxiety is not just beginning when you walk out the door. Instead, it starts when your alarm clock goes off or you turn on the shower, and by the time you leave the house he is in a full blown panic. To prevent this building anxiety, make some changes to your own behaviour. Pay attention to the things you do before you leave your home, and begin doing them randomly throughout the day.

For example, you can grab your keys and sit down to watch television, and then feed your dog. Within a few weeks, your dog should no longer see these things as signs that you are about to

walk out the door, and some of his anxiety should be eased.

Keep Coming and Going Low-Key Most of us hate leaving our dogs almost as much as they hate seeing us go. This often leads to us lavishing our dogs with affection and attention right before we leave home and immediately when we walk in the door.

Unfortunately, this can add to your dog's anxiety. To prevent this, the best thing you can do is ignore your dog before you leave and for several minutes after your return. In this way, you are telling your dog that your coming and going is really no big deal.

For mild to moderate cases of separation anxiety, these steps may be enough to ease your dog's anxiety.

Work Your Way Up to Long Periods Away This step can be time consuming, and requires a real commitment on the part of the dog owner. Once this process is started, it is important your dog is never left alone for extended periods until his anxiety is completely gone, and that might also needing to hire a pet sitter to lend a helping hand. Plan on spending at least 30 minutes on each training session. To start, step out the door for a short amount of time, and step right back inside. You cannot step out long enough for your dog's anxiety to

begin building, so in cases of severe separation anxiety you may only be able to step outside for a second. When you step back inside, keep things quiet, and give your dog a few minutes to relax.

Once he is relaxed, step back outside again, and repeat this step until your dog is showing no signs of anxiety - no panting, pacing, drooling, etc.

Next, slowly increase the amount of time you are gone.

This might mean only moving up to two seconds, then three, and so on. Once you start adding time, you can mix up the lengths of time you step out during a training session. For example, if you are able to step outside for five minutes, step out for five minutes and then three.

Change it up, but do not go beyond the five minutes until your dog is showing no signs of anxiety. Once you have worked up to leaving your dog alone for 45 minutes, you should be able to begin adding time more quickly. In this way you can work your way up to leaving your dog alone for an hour, then two, and then so on. If you are able to devote an hour or more each day to training, your dog's anxiety should be greatly improved within a few weeks. If you have followed all the steps, and your dog is still showing signs of anxiety, you may need to seek more help from your vet or a dog behaviourist.

PETS CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

EMILY

POPPET

TAZ

TINO AND THAIS

MANDY

Emily was rescued by APAH when she and her brother George were small puppies.

George was very lucky and found a new home almost straight away, but Emily is still looking for somebody to care for her in a new forever home.

She is now a medium sized dog with a lovely nature and will make a perfect companion.

To arrange to meet her, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Poppet is a gentle and loving pointer who craves human company. Because she had a bad start in life, she bonds very strongly with her carer and will want to be with you at all times. She loves to go out in the car, enjoys walking and gets on very well with other dogs.

Poppet makes an ideal companion who will return the love given to her, ten times over! For more on Poppet, please phone 600 845 420 or go to the website, www.k9club.es

Two-year-old Taz is fully vaccinated, micro chipped and castrated.

Sadly, his owner is facing major surgery and is no longer able to care for him so Taz is now in our care and looking for a new place to call home.

It is a tragic story that could have a happy ending, at least for Taz. Please contact the SAT kennels on 966 710 047 or you can email them on info@satanimalrescue.com for more information.

Thais and Thais are two of a group of five beautiful puppies who will be less than eight kilos when fully grown.

They are very small at the moment, aged nine weeks and are ready to go to their own homes. We have three boys and two girls, who are all very cute and being fostered in loving homes with other dogs. For more info on these adorable puppies please phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Mandy is a beautiful five month old pup, who is very intelligent and sweet.

She is very good with the other dogs and cats that she is currently being fostered with, and gets on well with everybody.

Mandy is a beautiful girl and is lots of fun and wants to play and loves getting attention.

For more information on Mandy, phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or you can email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail .com

LUNA Luna is around three years old and desperate for a new home.

She is ok with larger dogs but not cats or small pets.

In the right company that she is confident in and comfortable with Luna is very affectionate and will make a lovely companion.

She is well developed and caring and will be an loyal and affectionate companion in her new forever home.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Friday 21st August 2015

Already we have had lots of pets submitted to our Pet Idol 2015 competition, from next week, they will be on the website for you to vote.

It’s clear that The Courier readers love their animals and they are all absolutely gorgeous, we’re just thankful it’s not us who has to decide the winner!

Already we have some great prizes lined up, like a 50 euro voucher to spend at the San Anton pet store and hospital in Guardamar, or a

10 euro voucher for a pampering for your pet courtesy of Tidy Paws and their fully equipped grooming salon.

We are still accepting entries though, so it’s not too late to send us your pictures and information. Dogs, cats, budgies, hamsters, spiders, fish, so long as it’s your beloved pet, you can enter them into the competition.

By the way, it’s not just the most beautiful and welldressed we’re looking for, in true “idol” tradition, we also

welcome entrants who may be a little unusual or were not at the front of the queue when looks were being handed out.

You can send your pictures, and a little bit of information by email to office@thecourier.es.

Keep checking the pages of The Courier for more information and you will soon be able to nominate your own pet, and vote on others, in order to crown the winner of Pet Idol 2015.

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14

Friday 21st August 2015

Tony Mayes - About Life

Box ticking isn’t good enough

I’m amazed at the decision of the DVLA (Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency) not to prosecute Harry Clarke, the bin lorry driver whose vehicle ploughed into a group of pedestrians in Glasgow last year. He suffered a blackout at the wheel of his lorry which went out of control leading to the deaths of six innocent people. Scottish prosecutors ruled out action as heard during the crash inquiry that Mr.Clarke lied about a previous blackout in 2010, while employed as a bus driver, in health assessment forms when he applied for a LGV licence from the Swansea-based DVLA. The inquiry heard that he also lied about his medical history when applying for a job as a driver with Glasgow City Council.

Lawyers for the families of the six victims said on Monday that they are now going ahead with a private prosecution against Clarke.

This is an absolute disgrace in itself that the families have had to resort to this as it should be for the relevant authorities to act, not grieving relatives! What is wrong with Britain?

The inquiry heard that the DVLA system, relating to the self-declaration and discovery of relevant health issues among drivers, had a "weakness" and "exposed applicants to a huge level of temptation". The inquiry has previously heard that applicants for a LGV licence can choose to go to their own GP or to an occupational health doctor appointed by the company they work for. During this process, an applicant's medical records are not usually available to an occupational health doctor.

One solution would be for applicants to be required to give permission for their medical records to be made available to examining doctors. Alternatively the occupational health doctor doing the medical check should be able to consult with the applicant's GP. What it basically comes back to is that there must be far more transparency over medical conditions to the DVLA, and patient confidentiality should not take precedence. It's my guess that there are thousands upon thousands of people driving in the UK, Spain and the rest of Europe who should not be behind a wheel because of a raft of medical conditions. The case of Mr

Clarke is a sad prime example, and it puts their lives and those of countless other people at grave risk. It often goes through my mind when I am driving what level of fitness the driver of a vehicle approaching me has. A momentary blackout could send that on-coming vehicle straight into our car at combined speed of over 100mph.

OK, if you thought that way you would never travel in a car again, but we can't go on allowing people who are not fit to do so, to remain behind a wheel by virtue of just ticking a box on a form saying they are medically fit. Applications for licences and renewals should be accompanied by a full medical assessment and a green light to drive.

Failing to prosecute Mr Clarke in these circumstances gives out all the wrong messages.

Have you sat outside a cafe to enjoy a snack and drink in the fresh air, only to have smoke wafting over you from smokers on the next table? We have, often, and it's not pleasant. It's like deciding to relax next to a bonfire. You wouldn't do it - you would go somewhere else. It's the same when you're in the street and someone lights up near to you. It's not pleasant - and the smoker couldn't care less about your feelings or discomfort...because, basically, some smokers are selfish individuals.

So I welcome a move in

the UK by the Royal Society for Public Health which is calling for smoking to be banned outside bars and restaurants creating "exclusion zones" around pubs, in parks and at the entrances to schools. The society says reducing the 'convenience' of smoking will prompt more people to give up. Instead, they should be encouraged to switch to safer sources of nicotine such as e-cigarettes. They add stopping smokers from lighting up in prominent public places will prevent them setting a bad example for children. And the Society is calling for e-cigarettes to be renamed 'nicotine sticks' or 'vaporisers' to distance the technology from tobacco. The RSPH says nicotine by itself is no more harmful than caffeine – a fact its research suggests is misunderstood by 90 per cent of the population. But smoking tobacco, which contains tar and other chemicals, kills 100,000 people a year in the UK. Simon Clark, director of smokers' lobby group Forest, said: “Banning smoking outside pubs and bars would discriminate against adults who enjoy smoking”. Tough - let's get on with it and ban it in as many places as possible.

Perhaps then we will have

fewer people who stink of the smell of cigarettes on their clothes and breath.

YUK! You know what I think about social media like Facebook and Twitter, and the trivia which people put on there and expect others to be remotely interested in.

Well, I’m now trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.

Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers- by what I have eaten, how I feel at that moment, what I have done the night before and what I will do later and with whom.

I give them a picture of my family; of my dog; of me gardening; taking things apart in the garage; watering the lawn; standing in front of landmarks; driving around town having lunch; and doing what everyone else does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the thumbs up and tell them I like them.

And it works just like Facebook. I already have four people following me who namely are two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.

Brilliant!!

I've got a step grandson who is a brainbox. Recently he managed to find his way into his school's private

computer, which gave him access to all the private stuff about teachers, exams, etc. It sent the staff into a complete spin. He visited us last week and he tuned our mobiles so that they could speak through our car speakers, and then decided he wanted to visit Manchester Airport so en route he used his phone to take over our in-built satnav and redirect it. Luckily he didn´t manage to divert any planes on this occasion. He is a computer whiz-kid...and he's just 12!!

And finally, I want you to know that health and safety nonsense is very much alive and well in Britain. I heard from my step granddaughter that her school has banned children doing cart wheels in the playground because it's unsafe.

Apparently they are likely to do it without first considering whether they might come into contact and injure another child! At the same time, this “wrap them up in cotton wool” school has banned running and hand-stands in the playground too! It joins the long list of things already banned from schools, like playing conkers and throwing snowballs. Heaven help us - we really will have a namby pamby next generation.

ISSUE 7 21ST AUGUST 2015

2

Motoring +

Friday 21st August 2015

About Priority Vehicles It’s not only blue and orange lights that indicate priority vehicles

Blue or orange flashing lights, sirens, bells, the very thought conjures up the image of an emergency vehicle, attending or dealing with a life threatening or emergency situation, but what about a car intermit-

tently sounding its horn and waving a handkerchief?

That too is a priority vehicle in certain circumstances, and other vehicles must move out of the way, if it´s safe to do so. Let us explain.

The rules relating to emergency vehicles are detailed in the text “Reglamento general de circulación sobre vehículos prioritarios”, or the general traffic regulations on priority vehicles.

Article 67 states that vehicles, either private or public, responding to an emergency situation have priority over all other road users. Under certain conditions, they are exempt from certain other rules and regulations whilst responding to emergencies, such as speed limits. They also have priority through junctions, intersections and traffic lights, so long as they take appropriate precautions to avoid collisions with other road users, such as

ensuring other vehicles are topped or safe and that there are no pedestrians in their path, for example.

These exemptions only apply when responding to an emergency situation.

Article 67 also states that

the installation of light and sound emitting devices can only be done with specific authority from the Provincial Traffic Department, in accordance to rules governing this type of vehicle.

In Article 68, the correct procedures for drivers of emergency vehicles is detailed, including the provisions for not endangering other road users, and where vehicles responding to emergencies can, under certain circumstances, also have exemptions to other rules and regulations, including turning around on motorways and driving in the opposite direction to that permitted, and use their vehicles to block the road to assist others in dealing with emergencies.

Article 68 also explains how vehicles of law enforcement authorities such as the police and Guardia Civil, fire service, Protección Civil, rescue services and health, public

or private, are all considered priority vehicles when dealing with emergencies and will warn of their presence by means of lights (as detailed in Article 173), and special acoustic signals (sirens or bells). The drivers of these vehicles also have to be considerate as to when they use their signal equipment so as not to present a hazard to other road users.

Tow trucks (gruas) attending emergencies are also considered priority vehicles when their orange lights are flashing. This is to ensure the fastest response time to clear up the debris and vehicles following road incidents and collisions, so those vehicles too are allowed to proceed in the same way as the ones already detailed.

So far, we have looked at the requirements of those operating the emergency vehicles, now we will look at the obligation of other road users regarding priority vehicles.

Article 69 explains the expected behaviour of

other road users, which states that as soon as a driver notices the presence of a priority vehicle, by hearing the siren or seeing the lights for example, drivers must take appropriate measures, according to the circumstances of the time and place, to facilitate the passage of the priority vehicle, usually by moving to the right hand side, or stopping if necessary.

When a police or law enforcement vehicle positions itself behind any vehicle and also activated a red or yellow flashing, intermittent light, the driver of the vehicle must take appropriate precautions to stop their vehicle on the righthand side of the road as soon as it is safe and practical. A police or law enforcement vehicle behind you with a flashing red or yellow light is telling you to stop.

Once stopped, you must remain in the vehicle and await instructions from the officers involved, either by means of a loud speaker, or directly.

The police and law enforcement officers also use other methods for instructing vehicles to stop, which are detailed in the article “Signs and Signals from Police Officers Controlling Traffic”.

The final section of this article deals with a seemingly very unusual situation, but one which could save a person´s life, which is why it is included in the legislation.

Article 70 explains how other vehicles can become priority vehicles dealing with an emergency, and are afforded similar rights to those official vehicles detailed already.

In certain circumstances, and only when there is a risk to life, any other vehicle can assume the role of a priority vehicle by intermittently sounding the horn, connecting an emergency light (if available) and using hazard lights, or waving a cloth, flag or even a handkerchief to raise the awareness of their presence to

numerous incidents recorded where drivers still fail to move over, and also numerous incidents of collisions. A normal vehicle without a livery, siren and lights may well confuse other road users, despite the use of the horn and waving a sheet.

In these situations, you must still respect the laws relating to the movement of vehicles, such as speed limits and giving way at junctions, this is not an excuse for any driver to break the law.

You should also be aware that if you do take on the role of saviour with your vehicle, you are highly likely to have to explain the circumstances which prompted you drive in this manner to law enforcement officers, as the process is reserved for life-threatening situations, but one that may well mean the difference between life and death for a victim, and so is a valuable piece of information worth knowing.

other road users.

Extreme caution must be exercised when driving under these circumstances, remember that the drivers of emergency vehicles are highly trained in the procedures and processes for moving through traffic and junctions at high speed, and even with their lights and sirens, there are

Finally, remember, that if you see any vehicle displaying these characteristics, the situation they are responding to is likely to be one where a life or lives are in danger, so don’t be alarmed but please respect their signals and move over to allow these priority vehicles to pass safely, as a life could depend on it.

Motoring +

Friday 21st August 2015

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Motoring +

Friday 21st August 2015

Self-driving Supercar Audi has unveiled what could be the fastest self-driving car yet to be built, it reaches 60mph in 3.9 seconds

Audi has unveiled its new electric supercar the R8 etron at the Consumer Electronics Show in Shanghai.

The vehicle uses laser scanners, video cameras, radar and ultrasonic sensors to build up a detailed picture of its surroundings allowing it

to navigate through traffic.

The company claims its concept vehicle has two battery-powered motors that deliver 456 horse power, allowing it to travel from 0 to 62mph (0 to 100km/h) in just 3.9 seconds.

Audi said the car would act as a 'high-tech mobile

laboratory' for testing its technologies.

Data gathered from the scanners and sensors around the vehicle are sent to a central 'driver assistance control unit known as zFAS. Although Audi did not release any details of tests involving the self-driving supercar, it has been testing its A7 Sportback on a route through Shanghai during the show.

Audi claims R8 e-tron can achieve 279 miles (450km) before it needs to be recharged and it can be recharged in less than two hours.

The name, shape and colour of the R8 e-tron were inspired 1982 science fiction

film Tron, by Steven Lisberger.

A sequel called Tron: Legacy was released in 2010.

A statement released by the company said: 'The R8 e-tron piloted driving technical study is equipped with all of the functions of piloted driving.

'Data is acquired from the interplay of an array of sensors: a new type of laser scanner, several video cameras, ultrasonic sensors and radar sensors at the front and rear.

'Based on signals from these sources, the central driver assistance control unit (zFAS), a compact central computer, computes a comprehensive picture of the

vehicle's environment.'

Audi also said it has used T-shaped batteries to help maximise the space inside the car and lower the centre of gravity.

The rear of the car is

made of carbon fibre reinforced polymer and the luggage compartment walls are corrugated to absorb 'extreme amounts of energy' in case of a rear-end collision.

Friday 21st August to Thursday 27th August 2015

2 - The Courier TV Pull-out

Travel The World and Beyond – Whatson’s Choice

A cabbage? You thought I was a cabbage?

Thank you for your mess a g e s about last week´s costume, although I personally d o n ´ t believe I looked anything like a cabbage. I may have been a little green but I was being Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors.

If you haven´t seen the stage musical or film, you are not only missing out on a treat, you would also not have thought I looked anything like a cabbage!

As for t o d a y though, I am going to Central America w i t h Stephen Fry, actually to Mexico to be precise, hence my

rather fetching costume complete with sombrero and maracas. It took me ages to grow the moustache! Well, a week if I’m honest!

In fact, this week it seems to be all about travel. The Stephen Fry show does look very interesting and no doubt full of fascinating facts too.

We´re also off to India this week and my pick has to be World’s Busiest Railway 2015 on BBC Two. The thought of so many people crammed into a short space on a train sounds scary, but the countryside views and the insight into what goes on behind the scenes is going to be amazing.

We are also travelling to the deep blue sea in Big Blue

UK which we spoke about the other week, but something else I want to mention is a completely different travel show all together, travelling back in time with Tony Robinson on Channel 4´s Time Crashers.

You can read all about my picks for the week in these pages, and a lot more too, and plan your own schedule by using our full and comprehensive listings, with more information than any other newspaper.

That´s enough of the shameless plug, I will end with a time travel joke. The Past, the Present & the Future go into a bar. They were all tense. Tatty bye my friends, tatty bye.

Stephen Fry Visits Central America Seven years ago, Stephen Fry travelled through all fifty states of the USA in a black cab. But he’s always been fascinated by events south of the border, so now, in this brand new four-part series, he embarks on an adventure into America’s backyard.

Travelling through Mexico and the entire Central American isthmus, to the Panamanian border with South America, it’s a remarkable trip through some of the oldest civilisations on the planet – Mayan, Aztec and Olmec.

He visits some of the most dangerous, but breathtakingly beautiful, countries as he learns all about the people, the places, the wildlife and the history.

In episode one, Stephen begins his journey on the Sante Bridge separating El Paso in Texas from Ciudad Juarez in Mexico, an important transit point for the drug cartels and considered one of the most dangerous cities in Mexico.

He boards the converted school bus he’ll be travelling on, to avoid attracting the attention of the locals and heads towards Chihuahua.

En route, his driver takes him to see some of the local cowboys before he experiences the enduring patriotism of a local hero, the revolutionary Pancho Villa, who lead the Army of the North, in the revolutionary war of 1914.

Boarding the El Chepe train he heads into the Sierra Madre mountains and the magnificent Copper Canyon, where he overcomes his fears and takes one of the longest zip wire rides in the world, 80 miles an hour two kilometres down, to where the Tamahumara people live.

On seeing the canyon for the first time, Stephen says: “Look at that, it’s absolutely stunning. I’m tempted to say Arizona eat your heart out. It’s extraordinary, it’s sort of more beautiful than the Grand Canyon.”

Leaving the canyon, he arrives in the old silver mining town of Real de Catorce.

Once booming with the fortunes of its wares, the town fell from grace in 1900 but is booming once again, thanks to the tourist industry.

Stephen arrives just in time to experience their annual fiesta celebrating the Revolution of Pancho Villa, with donkey races highlighting the importance of the animal to both miners and revolutionaries. He is persuaded to join in the festivities with a techno tribal dance group and later heads out to the countryside to meet a local Huichol shaman.

The shaman shows him the benefits of the hallucinogenic peyote cactus, although Stephen refrains from indulging.

Nearing Mexico City, he takes to the skies in a hot air balloon to witness the

incredible aerial view of the vast ruins of Teotihuacan, the greatest city of preAztec Mexico. Celebrated archaeologist Sergio Gomez gives him a tour of the extensive excavations under the temple of the god Quetzalcoatl, the Feathered Serpent.

In the Xochimilco canals, built by the Aztecs to feed and water their city, Stephen learns of the Axolotl, an extraordinary species of salamander worshipped by the Aztecs. Made up of stem cells, the Axolotl have the power to regrow any part of their body.

Next, a small role as a butler in a Mexican soap, gives Stephen an insight into Mexican popular culture and then smashing up a papier mache piñata, allows him to let off steam in a truly Mexican fashion An emotionally charged demonstration in the capital, protesting against the ongoing drug wars which have claimed over 100,000 lives in the last eight years, and most recently the disappearance of 43 students, drives home to a visibly upset and

tearful Stephen, just how many problems the country must face.

Stephen says: “I can’t help being extremely moved by this march because Mexico is a country founded in revolution but it believes in itself.”

In the mountains of Michoacan, Stephen witnesses the extraordinary migration of millions of Monarch butterflies who spend the winter here, after a 3000 mile flight from North America.

Doctor Pablo Jaramillo explains how the butterflies are the greatgrandchildren of those which travelled here last year. The butterflies are the only multi generational migration on the planet.

Stephen is moved beyond words, by one of the world’s greatest natural history phenomena.

As the first part of his journey concludes, he travels to the Pacific coast and the once glamorous resort of Acapulco, where he meets cliff divers and marvels at their extraordinary bravery as they plunge 115 feet into 12 feet of water.

World’s Busiest Railway 2015

Railway fans are in for a treat this week as part of the BBC India Season, Dan Snow, Anita Rani and Robert Llewellyn are in Mumbai exploring the world's busiest railway.

From their base at the historic Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus they reveal the science, systems and staff responsible for keeping this supersized transport system running to schedule.

Being shown on BBC Two for four consecutive nights from Monday, in the first episode, Dan, Anita and Robert try commuting Mumbai-style, tackling what is known as 'super dense crush load' on the world’s busiest commuter trains. With as many as 14 people packed into a square metre, these trains are more than twice as packed as the most crowded European trains.

Passengers hang from the sides of trains and cross the tracks, so they’re in for quite a ride.

2,300km north east of Mumbai, John Sergeant is in the foothills of the Himalayas, to ride Darjeeling’s steam powered hill railway. He reminisces about a more romantic age of rail travel and reveals the historical connection between tea and trains.

On Tuesday, Anita joins passengers making the 1,970 km journey from Mumbai to Kolkata, to discover who’s travelling, what they pay for their tickets and what conditions are like on board.

She discovers how crucial these services are for India’s 400 million economic migrants, who commute across the country to find work.

With trains measuring more than half a kilometre in length and the station team having just six hours to service trains after every journey, Robert joins them to watch the gargantuan task of making sure they’re ready before heading out again on their next trip.

On Wednesday, Robert visits a city-sized repair facility, where every 18 months the train carriages are given their version of an MOT. Robert tries his hand at repairing seats and discovers that the carriages are still painted by hand.

With a salary around seven times the national average, a passenger train driver is a prestigious job in India. The cameras are on board with one of the drivers known as motormen and are given privileged access to the lounge where drivers prepare to go on shift.

Anita heads onto the roads of Mumbai to see if commuting by road is any easier than by rail, while John Sergeant visits two rural stations that still operate historical systems for train control and discovers how a silver ball can keep passengers safe.

Finally, on Thursday, things take a darker turn.

Nine people a day die on Mumbai’s railway lines and Anita tackles the railway’s head of safety on the measures they’re taking to reduce this fatality rate. She also heads out with the 'gangmen' teams of repair workers responsible for re-laying the track.

Dan meets two eye witnesses to 2008’s terror attacks that claimed the lives of 52 people at CST and considers the changes made at the station since those events.

He also heads out to Mumbai’s newly built Metro to experience what the future could hold for Mumbai’s 5.5 million rail commuters. This new line cost close to half a billion pounds to build and connects Mumbai’s eastern and western suburbs.

The station’s managers discuss their plans for the future and how they hope to cope with a 50% increase in passengers , while two of Mumbai’s commuters share their experiences and tell us how crucial the railway is.

Friday 21st August

The Courier TV Pull-out - 3

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Gardeners’ World 09:15 Great British Menu 09:45 F1: Grand Prix Practice 11:40 James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Rio 13:00 The Rockford Files 13:45 F1: Grand Prix Practice 15:45 Formula 1 Rewind 16:45 Madagascar 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Guess This House 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Tipping Point 17:00 Hello Campers 18:00 Rebound 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:30 ITV News and Weather

20:00 Athletics World 20:30 A Question of Sport Championships - Beijing Sue Barker hosts the sports Special quiz 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 EastEnders Sharon The two remaining chefs decides to get to the bottom cook their 4 courses again of what’s going on with Phil 21:00 Mastermind Quiz 21:30 Would I Lie to You? show Rob Brydon hosts the com21:30 Gardeners’ World edy panel show Carol catches up with Geoff 22:00 Ripper Street and Sally Davis Detective Inspector Drake is in need of help and must 22:00 The Great British try to track down and find Bake Off: An Extra Slice his old friend Edmund Reid, Sister series to The Great British Bake Off who has disappeared

20:30 Coronation Street Jason’s condition deteriorates

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Close Calls: On Camera 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at One 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 20:00 The One Show

23:00 BBC News 23:35 Mountain Goats 00:05 Pound Shop Wars 00:35 Film - Lesbian Vampire Killers (15) 02:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:05 BBC News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Moira is shocked to hear Ross was left at the edge of a quarry.

The police arrive at Butlers Farm and Cain struggles to keep his cool as he is questioned. Emma later admits to Cain she called them and won’t rest until she can prove he was behind her son’s disappearance. When Pete finds out Emma has called

20:00 Emmerdale Emma calls the police

21:00 Real Stories with Ranvir Singh Stories of people involved in extraordinary, life changing events 21:30 Coronation Street Carla has a change of heart 22:00 BBQ Champ Myleene Klass tries to find the UK’s best amateur barbecuer, with Adam and Mark. It is the semi-final and just five BBQers remain

22:30 Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul Rick 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:40 Film travels through Croatia Beowulf (12) 01:40 23:30 Newsnight 00:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Britain’s Edinburgh Nights 00:35 QI Best Bakery 04:50 ITV 01:05 Athletics Nightscreen

the police, his head is left reeling. But matters get more serious when Pete hears the police have found a body and think it may be Ross.

In Coronation Street, Eileen is beside herself when the doctors tell her that Jason might never walk or talk again and that the next 24 hours are critical. When the police question Todd about Jason’s assault, he is deeply hurt when he realises none of his family bothered to contact him with the news.

Knowing he has to visit, Todd turns up at the hospital but as he approaches he overhears Eileen telling Tony how Jason has

always been the better son.

Nick’s full of love for Carla after spending the night with her but she reminds him that she’s still moving to LA and that he’s still with Erica. But when Erica tells Nick she knows who really has his heart, will she be able to let him go or can they still make a go of it?

And when Carla’s old friend Aidan tips up in

07:20 Will and Grace 08:35 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Simpsons 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 French Collection 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Celebrity Fifteen to One Adam Hills hosts another round as 15 celebrities battle it out to be crowned the winner of this notoriously difficult quiz and win big money for a charity of their choice 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy mash-up quiz show, with Sean Lock and Henning Wehn who take on comedian Bill Bailey with actress Jessica Hynes 23:00 The Last Leg 00:05 Very British Problems 01:10 Rude Tube 02:05 Film - Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (15) 04:05 Supernatural 04:55 Location, Location, Location 05:50 Fifteen to One Weatherfield wanting to invest in the factory, how will Carla react when she finds out Nick was the one who prompted him?

As the story continues, Carla pours her heart out to Roy and Roy makes her see that her problems will follow her wherever she runs to and that she needs to face up to them.

Knowing he’s right, Carla announces to Nick, Aidan, Sally and Alya that she’s staying put in Weatherfield and will no longer be selling.

In Eastenders, Sharon confronts Phil over the text message and orders him to come clean about who

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Trauma Doctors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Film Out of Reach (15) 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket on 5 Nicholas presents lights of the second play in the 5th between England Australia at the Oval

Mark highday’s Test and

21:00 Aircrash: Disaster Over New York Documentary about Korean Air Cargo Flight 8509, which crashed less than a minute after take-off from London Stansted Airport on 22nd December 1999, killing all four crew members 22:00 Katie Price: In Therapy Dr Claudia Bernat attempts to get under Katie’s skin 23:00 The Best of Bad TV: The 00s 00:25 Tattoo Disasters: UK 00:55 Access 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 Police Interceptors 05:00 Trauma Doctors 05:45 House Doctor

“K” is. After grabbing the phone from Sharon, Phil sees that he needs to go to St Pancras to meet Kathy but he lies about who “K” really is.

Phil leaves to meet Kathy, but it seems that Sharon doesn’t believe his cover story. She admits to Ian that she thinks Phil is having an affair with “K”. After some encouragement from Ian, the pair head off to St Pancras.

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 09:05 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 Coronation Street 14:40Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Matrix Reloaded (15) 00:45 Two and a Half Men 01:40 Crazy Beaches 02:10 Viral Tap 02:45 Hell’s Kitchen ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:40 Judge Judy 11:55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 In Loving Memory 17:50 Never the Twain 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 A Touch of Frost 23:00 Afterlife 01:10 Film Seabiscuit (PG) 03:30 Judge Judy 04:45 Nightscreen 05:00 Emmerdale Omnibus ITV4 07:00 The Professionals 07:50 Alias Smith and Jones 08:50 Hogan’s Heroes 09:55Minder 10:55 The Professionals 11:55 Kojak 13:00 Alias Smith and Jones 14:00 Minder 15:00 Highway Patrol 15:30 Pawn Stars 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 17:00 The Professionals 18:00 Kojak 19:00 Minder 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 World Series of Darts 00:30 Film Soldier (18) 02:25 River Monsters 03:20 Hogan’s Heroes

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Saturday 22nd August

4 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Football Focus 13:00 BBC News 13:10 Athletics 16:00 Equestrian 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:10 Regional News and Weather 19:20 Film - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (12) In 1957, Indiana Jones is called back into action when an old colleague is kidnapped 21:15 The National Lottery Families in the UK play alongside their family around the world in the hopes of winning thousands of pounds and a luxury five-star holiday reunion 22:10 Casualty The team help a daughter and father at a difficult time, and Ethan convinces a man to come clean to his girlfriend 23:00 BBC News 23:20 Match of the Day 00:40 Rugby Union 01:40 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:45 BBC News

07:00 F1: Grand Prix Practice 12:05 Athletics 13:10 F1: Grand Prix Qualifying 15:30 Escape to the Country 16:30 Flog It 17:30 Gardeners’ World 18:00 Athletics 19:00 Atlantic: The Wildest Ocean on Earth 20:00 Proms Extra 2015 Chi-Chi Nwanoku and Roderick Williams join Katie Derham for Proms Extra, looking back at some of the highlights that have come out of the Royal Albert Hall 20:40 Edwardian Farm It’s July and the team face their busiest month so far.

It’s time to bring in the cherry harvest with the help of their Dartmoor pony Laddy, and enjoy a cherry feast to celebrate 21:40 Dad’s Army Mainwaring and Wilson are in the bank when an unexpected guest drops in 22:10 Julie Walters: A Life on Screen Documentary telling the story behind the success of Julie Walters 23:10 Film - Calendar Girls (12) 00:55 Film - Titanic Town (15) 02:30 Athletics

07:00 The Aquabats!

Super Show 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:15 Sooty 08:30 Super 4 08:45 Fish Hooks 09:00 Young Justice: Invasion 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:20 Jeremy Kyle 13:25 ITV News and Weather 13:35 Jeremy Kyle 14:35 Tipping Point 15:35 Celebrity Squares 16:20 Midsomer Murders 18:15 Catchphrase 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:30 You’ve Been Framed 20:00 Keep it in the Family Two families go head to head in a series of challenges to win prizes 21:00 The Saturday Night Story The bestloved moments from Saturday night TV 22:00 The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies Jefferies’s quiet life is turned upside down when police question him about the disappearance of Jo Yeates 00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:15 The Chase 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Show Me the Telly 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:10 How I Met Your Mother 07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 Cardiff Triathlon 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 The Simpsons 14:00 Rude(Ish) Tube 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:15 Come Dine with Me 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:00 Great Canal Journeys Actors Prunella Scales and Timothy West’s second journey takes them to a waterway that was a main artery for the textile industry at the height of the Industrial Revolution: the Rochdale Canal 21:00 Film - Battleship (12) Six years after Nasa beamed a powerful signal to an Earth-like planet outside our solar system, we get a response But the extraterrestrials don’t send a message: they come calling, landing five huge amphibious spacecraft in the Pacific 23:35 Film - Rush Hour 3 (12) 01:20 The Last Leg 02:15 Hollyoaks Omnibus 04:20 Location, Location, Location 05:15 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb

07:00 Milkshake 11:00 SpongeBob Squarepants 11:35 Cowboy Builders 14:25 Columbo: Blueprint for Murder 15:55 Film Mosquito Squadron (U) 17:45 Film - The Sea Wolves (PG) 20:00 Cricket on 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the third day’s play in the 5th Test between England and Australia 20:55 5 News Weekend National and international news 21:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away Paul and Steve call for police backup after finding something suspicious in a London Docklands flat 22:00 Football League Tonight Hull City travel to Charlton, Leeds take on Sheffield Wednesday.

There’s an all-Midlands clash as Walsall host Coventry City, while AFC Wimbledon go to Carlisle 23:25 Greatest Ever Sitcoms 02:15 Super Casino 04:10 Transporter: The Series (15) 05:00 Police Interceptors: Unleashed 05:50 Make it Big

14:30 You’ve Been Framed 15:00 Film - Kangaroo Jack (PG) 16:45 Film - The Shaggy Dog (PG) 18:40 The X Factor 19:45 Film Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (12) 22:00 Film - Knocked Up (15) 00:40 Film - The Matrix Revolutions (15) ITV3 14:00 A Touch of Frost 16:05 Film - Holiday on the Buses (PG) 17:55 Columbo 20:00 Doc Martin 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 01:00 Wire in the Blood ITV4 14:15 Pawn Stars 14:40 Storage Wars 15:10 Film Spartacus (PG) 19:00 Darts 22:30 Storage Wars 23:00 Cycling 00:00 Film Air America (15)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Musical Medly

Sunday 23rd August 07:00 Breakfast 08:40 Match of the Day 10:00 BBC News 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Bargain Hunt 13:00 BBC News 13:10 F1: Grand Prix 16:30 Escape to the Country 17:00 The Great British Bake Off 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 BBC News and Weather 19:00 Countryfile 20:00 Big Blue Live Three-part series observing the wide variety of sea creatures that gather in California’s Monterey Bay 21:00 Casualty It’s Max and Zoe’s wedding day 22:00 Partners in Crime Tommy and Tuppence turn their attention to their fellow occupants of Sans Souci to find N 23:00 BBC News 23:20 Regional News and Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 2 00:40 Film Eurotrip (15) 02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:15 BBC News

07:00 The Instant Gardener 08:30 Countryfile 09:30 Gardeners’ World 10:00 The Beechgrove Garden 10:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:00 Athletics 16:00 Triathlon 17:15 Equestrian 18:15 Triathlon 19:00 Rugby Union 20:00 Athletics The second day of the World Championships in Beijing 21:00 Dragons’ Den The razor sharp Dragons quiz an Anglo-French duo about their hair-raising business venture 22:00 Odyssey A distraught Bob confides to Harrison his suspicions of Ruby playing a role in his mother’s death

07:00 The Aquabats!

Super Show 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:15 Sooty 08:30 Super 4 08:45 Fish Hooks 09:00 Young Justice: Invasion 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:20 Jeremy Kyle 13:25 ITV News and Weather 13:35 Jeremy Kyle 14:40 Film - Smokey and the Bandit II (PG) 16:35 Film The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (U) 18:45 Catchphrase 19:25 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Animal Mums How animals cope with the demands of raising their offspring

22:45 Country Strife Dreams of a new life dashed when a mortgage falls through

21:00 Midsomer Murders Barnaby tries to find out just who is targeting the Midsomer Vinae Winery but what does the attack have to do with the death of a child?

23:15 Family Guy 00:20 Film - The Ring (15) 02:05 Countryfile 03:00 Sir Stanley Matthews: The Wizard of Wembley 03:30 Athletics 05:30 This is BBC Two

23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:15 Man and Beast with Martin Clunes 00:15 56 Up 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:20 How I Met Your Mother 08:10 The Chateau Impney Hill Climb 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Amazing Spaces: Shed of the Year 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 The Simpsons 16:25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 17:30 Location, Location, Location 18:35 A Place in the Sun 19:30 News

07:00 Milkshake 10:25 SpongeBob Squarepants 11:00 Football League Tonight 12:30 Police Interceptors 14:20 Film Michael (PG) 16:20 Film Pete’s Dragon (U) 18:25 Film - The Sword in the Stone (U)

15:20 Film - Homeward Bound II(U) 17:10 You’ve Been Framed 18:10 The X Factor 19:15 Film - Hulk (12) 22:00 Film - The Holiday (12)

20:00 Cricket on 5 Highlights of the fourth day’s play in the 5th Test between England and Australia at the Oval

20:00 Secret History Experts examine evidence revealing why disease killed on such a large scale

20:55 5 News Weekend National and international news

21:00 Time Crashers 10 celebrities experience life in different eras to see if they could have coped with life in the past

21:00 Police Interceptors: Unleashed The interceptors take on a crook who has devised a crafty scheme to get something for nothing

14:35 Agatha Christie’s Marple 16:35 A Touch of Frost 18:40 Inspector Morse 21:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 21:30 Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs 22:00 The Mighty Mississippi 23:00 Birds of a Feather 23:35 Northern Lights 00:35 Agatha Christie’s Marple

22:00 Film Les Miserables (12) A criminal tries to make amends for his past by raising a young girl as his own But the policeman who first put him away is unconvinced by the transformation 01:10 Film - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (12) 03:25 Come Dine with Me

22:00 Film - Snitch (12) A man undertakes a dangerous mission in order to save his teenage son from a 10-year jail sentence 00:15 Film - Fight Club (18) 02:50 Super Casino 04:10 Under the Dome 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make it Big 05:50 Make it Big

ITV3

ITV4 11:45 MSA British Touring Car Championship 19:10 Football’s Greatest 19:30 Pawn Stars 20:00 Cycling 21:00 Premiership Rugby 7s Highlights 22:00 Film Mercury Rising (15)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Tony De Love

Monday 24th August 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Big Blue UK 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at One 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Six 19:30 Regional News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Panorama Demand for places at high-achieving state schools across the UK far outstrips supply, turning the schools admissions process into a battleground Panorama investigates 21:00 EastEnders Phil is left stunned when Ronnie drops a bombshell 21:30 Sherlock Holmes encounters Charles Augustus Magnussen, the one man he truly hates 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 BBC News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Pete watches from across the street as James and Emma set off to identify Ross’ body. At the mortuary a nervous Emma and James are shown into a waiting room. Meanwhile, Pete tells Finn he should prepare himself for the worst. They try to ring Pete but he doesn’t answer his phone. Meanwhile, Pete is crippled with fear, as he

The Courier TV Pull-out - 5

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Guess This House 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Tipping Point 17:00 Hello Campers 18:00 Rebound 19:00 ITV News and Weather

07:20 How I Met Your Mother 07:45 Draw it 08:10 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Simpsons 13:00 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Three in a Bed 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 French 20:00 Athletics Highlights 20:00 Emmerdale Pete Collection 18:00 Come of day three’s action at the makes a confession Dine with Me 19:00 The World Championships in Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:30 Coronation Street It 20:00 News Beijing, China is sink or swim for Carla 21:00 University 21:00 Bear’s Wild Challenge Jeremy Paxman 21:00 Vet School The vets Weekend with Miranda and students battle to treat asks the questions Bear takes Miranda Hart on creatures of every kind, a once-in-a-lifetime expedi21:30 Only Connect Quiz from farmyard animals to presented by Victoria domestic pets and exotic tion to the Swiss Alps Coren Mitchell in which species, including underknowledge will only take taking challenging surgery 22:00 24 Hours in Police Custody A man behaving you so far 21:30 Coronation Street erratically while carrying a 22:00 The World’s Bethany is faced with an hockey stick has been Busiest Railway 2015 Dan impossible choice arrested after he was Snow, Anita Rani, Robert reported to be staring Llewellyn and John 22:00 Travel Guides Given through the window of a Sergeant go behind the the notorious British weath- woman’s house er, what will our reviewers scenes of India’s railways really think of a holiday in 23:00 Muslim Drag Queens 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight The Lake District?

00:00 Tattoo Fixers 01:05 00:05 The Women’s 24 Hours in A and E 02:00 Football Show 00:35 23:00 ITV News at Ten and The Food Hospital 02:55 Dragons’ Den 01:35 Weather 23:40 Plebs 00:40 Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Odyssey 02:15 Holby City The Jeremy Kyle Show 03:50 Location, 03:15 The Great British USA 01:25 Jackpot247 Free Location, Location 04:45 Bake Off 04:15 Who Do 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle You Deserve This House 04:50 ITV You Think You Are? 05:15 Show 05:40 Selling Houses Nightscreen Imagine 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Close Calls: On Camera 08:30 Countryside 999 09:15 Escape to the Continent 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 Athletics 16:15 ‘Allo, ‘Allo 16:45 Madagascar 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads

knows the discovery of Ross’ body will bring the police to his front door. Will Pete’s fear cause him to make a confession?

Moments later Pete drops his bombshell - he killed Ross.

Zak’s worries over Sam and Rachel’s relationship are piqued when he sees them rowing when the car breaks down. When Zak tries to raise the matter with Rachel she reacts badly and soon Sam is under pressure to tell Zak and Lisa they won’t be welcome at Ruby’s funeral. When Zak hears of this, he’s more worried than ever about Sam and Rachel.

In Coronation Street, After pouring over the Underworld accounts, Carla’s depressed and admits to Nick that she’s in a financial mess.

Tyrone and Fiz take Hope to see the doctor. The doctor tells them that Hope has a lump in her abdomen and will need an ultrasound scan.

As the story continues, making out she needs

Bethany’s help, Gemma lures her into the car.

Gemma explains to Bethany that Callum wants her to give him an alibi and tell the police she was with him and Gemma when Jason was beaten up.

Bethany refuses but Gemma phones Callum who shows her worrying pictures of Sarah clearly drugged up and lay on the sofa at No. 8.

Fed up with Carla’s selfpity, Nick tells her to get a grip and a row ensues.

Nick persuades Aidan that, with his support, Carla can turn the business around and they’ll be sitting on a goldmine. Will Nick be able to work his magic on

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Profile for Murder (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket on 5 Highlights of the final day’s play in the 5th Test between England and Australia 21:00 Beware: Robbers on the Rampage The extent of violent crime committed on our streets 22:00 Inside Scientology And Escaping the Witnesses First-hand testimony from three women who devote yourself to powerful religious movements 23:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 00:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 01:00 Under the Dome 01:45 Tattoo Disasters: UK 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 Benefits Life: Jailbird Boys Going Straight 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 The Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor Aidan and Underworld?

save

In Eastenders, tensions remain high between Sharon and Phil. Phil’s day gets worse when Ronnie arrives and reveals that she knows Kathy is alive.

Martin joins Stacey as she has her baby scan at the hospital, but the atmosphere turns sour when he brings up her bipolar.

07:00 Life’s Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film American Pie 2 (15) 00:05 Film - Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (15) 02:00 Two and a Half Men 02:25 Mom 02:50 Mom ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Film - The Sign of Four (PG) 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 In Loving Memory 17:50 Never the Twain 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 23:00 Cold Blood 00:35 Wycliffe 01:40 The Royal 02:30Judge Judy ITV4 07:00 The Professionals 07:50 Alias Smith and Jones 08:45 Hogan’s Heroes 09:50 Minder 10:50 The Professionals 11:50 Kojak 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 14:00 Pawn Stars 14:55 Cycling 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 16:55 The Professionals 18:00 Kojak 19:00 Minder 20:00 Cycling 21:00 Storage Wars New York 22:00 Storage Wars 23:00 Benidorm 00:00 Bundesliga 01:00 Premiership Rugby 7s Highlights

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Tuesday 25th August

6 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Big Blue UK 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at One 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders It’s the day of Kush’s stag do 21:00 Holby City Guy attempts to rectify the past through an old friend of his deceased wife 22:00 New Tricks Ted leads an investigation into the apparent suicide of a city trader embroiled in the cut-throat world of London’s financial district back in the ‘80s 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Boy Who Wants His Leg Cut Off 00:35 Who Do You Think You Are? 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 BBC News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Debbie struggles to understand what Pete has just told her. He is floored to learn the body in the morgue is not Ross but a complete stranger. He tells Debbie about the fight he had with Ross and the severe head injury he gave him and what happened. Debbie can’t believe what she is hearing. Pete is soon bitter

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:30 Countryside 999 09:15 The House That £100k Built 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 Athletics 15:30 Cash in the Attic 16:15 ‘Allo, ‘Allo 16:45 Attenborough and the Giant Egg 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Guess This House 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Tipping Point 17:00 Hello Campers 18:00 Rebound 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:30 ITV News and Weather

20:00 Athletics Highlights of day four’s action at the 15th World Championships from Beijing, China

20:00 Emmerdale James begs Debbie for time

21:00 Natural World How do owls see in the dark?

And how do they fly so silently?

22:00 The World’s Busiest Railway 2015 Behind the scenes at Mumbai’s Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus to find out what role it plays in long distance travel across India 23:00 Goodness Gracious Me - India Special 2015 23:30 Newsnight 00:05 The Fast Show 00:35 The Super League Show 01:20 Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Inside the Post Office 02:20 Earth’s Natural Wonders 03:20 This is BBC Two 03:30 Athletics over how Debbie reacts.

Later on, when Debbie wants them to go and find Ross’s body, Pete loses his temper and asks her how she can still love his brother. She is horrified and begins to panic, yelling at Pete to stay away, thinking he is just like Cameron. She runs out and leaves Pete utterly broken. James finds a panicked Debbie running down the street and is soon left in shock when Pete tells him he killed Ross. When he learns his son is serious, a devastated James asks Pete to take him to where he left the body. Out in the moors, Pete shows James over to where he left the

21:00 Bargain Fever Britain A look at how the four discount retailers fare during the sales season 22:00 School Swap: The Class Divide The headteacher and three pupils from a public school and a private school trade places to experience life on the other side of the fence This unique experiment aims to see if there truly is a gulf in education standards between public and private 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:40 Benidorm 00:40 Murder, She Wrote 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Don’t Blow the Inheritance 04:50 ITV Nightscreen body….

In prison, Bob and Brenda are worried whether Harriet will be able to track down Carly. Bob is left uneasy when a fellow inmate Ged (James Gaddas) tries to coerce him into getting Brenda to sneak stuff into prison for him. Bob comes clean to Brenda, he needs her to smuggle stuff in for Ged. But will Brenda?

In EastEnders, it’s the day of Kush’s stag do, so Shabnam invites some friends over with her Aunt Fatima to prepare her Mendhi dress. The occasion gets off to a rocky start when Denise and

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Draw it 08:10 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Simpsons 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Three in a Bed 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 French Collection 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:20 Film - Deadly Suspicion (15) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News

20:00 Police Interceptors Cumbria’s elite interceptor teams are called out to 21:00 The Three Day deal with a suspect gunman Nanny Kathryn is shocked by what she finds when 21:00 The Dog Rescuers she takes on a family more with Alan Davies As part used to the rock and roll of a joint operation with the lifestyle than ordered family police and Trading life Standards, animal inspector Jason Bowles visits a 22:00 Educating Cardiff farm that is believed to be Documentary following breeding puppies illegally pupils and staff at Willows High School, Cardiff 22:00 My Big Fat Benefits Wedding Live A couple 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats from South Wales on longDoes Countdown 00:00 24 term benefits are deterHours in Police Custody mined to have the wedding 01:05 Pokerstars day of their dreams Caribbean Adventure 02:00 KOTV Boxing 23:00 12 Years Old and on Weekly 02:25 Gillette Benefits 00:00 Benefits World Sport 02:55 Cardiff and Bypasses: Billion Triathlon 03:20 The Pound Patients 01:00 Chateau Impney Hill Climb Undercover Benefits Cheat 03:50 Location, Location, 01:55 Super Casino 04:10 Location 04:45 Selling Undercover Benefits Cheat Houses with Amanda Lamb 05:00 Michaela’s Wild 05:40 Jamie’s Money Challenge 05:25 Wildlife SOS 05:50 House Doctor Saving Meals Carmel begin to drink, leaving Fatima unimpressed.

Outside, Stacey spots the stags returning from their paintballing trip. She speaks to Martin and finds out about his recent conversation with Sonia.

Stacey decides to confront Sonia over her interference, but Sonia explains herself and leaves Stacey rattled with her words. Is Sonia right with what she

tells her about Martin?

In Holby City, when an old friend of Guy’s late wife is admitted to Holby, Jesse implores Guy not to treat them. Will Guy gain the perspective he needs and leave the past where it belongs?

Sacha is up against it on Keller, both personally and professionally. However, wise words from an unlikely confidant help him make a very important decision.

Oliver and Zosia struggle to contain their feelings for one another, while Seb (Zosia’s boyfriend) is unnerved by their undeniable magnetism.

07:00 Life’s Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Hell’s Kitchen 23:00 Film - Rush Hour (12) 01:05 Two and a Half Men 02:00 Hell’s Kitchen 02:45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Sherlock Holmes (PG) 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 In Loving Memory 17:55 Never the Twain 18:25 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:00 Wycliffe 02:35 The Royal ITV4 07:00 The Professionals 07:50 Alias Smith and Jones 08:45 Hogan’s Heroes 09:50 Minder 10:50 The Professionals 11:50 Kojak 12:50 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 The Goodwood Members Meeting 2015 14:55 Cycling 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 17:00 The Professionals 18:00 Kojak 19:00 Minder 20:00 Cycling 21:00 World Rally Championship Highlights 22:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 23:05 Film - Sudden Impact (18) 01:30 Hogan’s Heroes 02:00 Cycling 03:00 Minder

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Wednesday 26th August 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Big Blue UK 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Six 19:30 Regional News and Weather 20:00 The One Show

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:30 Countryside 999 09:15 Claimed and Shamed 09:45 Antiques Roadshow 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 Athletics 16:15’Allo, ‘Allo 16:45 Hidden Kingdoms 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Athletics Gabby Logan presents Day five of the World Championships from Beijing, China

The Courier TV Pull-out - 7

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Draw it 08:10 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Simpsons 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Three in a Bed 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 French Collection 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The 20:00 Emmerdale Pete is Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks rejected by his family 20:00 News

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Guess This House 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Tipping Point 17:00 Hello Campers 18:00 Rebound 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:30 ITV News and Weather

21:00 Horizon Horizon meets the people living with OCD and looks at the therapy available

20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Posh Pawn The Carla throws Aidan in at the series reveals the world of deep end high-end pawnbroking with 21:00 Foyle’s War Crime unprecedented access to drama series set in the the industry’s experts and years immediately after the extraordinary clients

22:00 Britain’s Spending Secrets Is it possible for a person to spend their way to happiness

22:00 The World’s Busiest Railway 2015 Robert Llewellyn visits Chhatrapati Shivaji repair facility, where carriages are dispatched for annual MOTs, while Anita Rani samples a commute by road in Mumbai

Second World War When his colleague Hilda Pierce is nearly killed in an attempted assassination, Foyle must re-examine her top-secret role during the war to find out if there was a traitor at the heart of the Special Operations Executive

23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport 00:05 Mountain Goats 00:35 Film Obsessed (12) 02:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:25 BBC News

23:00 Goodness Gracious Me: Reunion Special 23:30 Newsnight 00:05 The Fast Show 00:35 Building the Ancient City 01:35 Atlantic: The Wildest Ocean on Earth 02:35 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial 03:35 Athletics

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:40 UEFA Champions League Highlights 00:40 Tipping Point 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Don’t Blow the Inheritance 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

20:30 Pound Shop Wars The CEO of Poundworld is back with ambitious plans for expansion 21:00 The Great British Bake Off For the nine bakers left, it’s time to tackle the sweet ending to every meal - desserts

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, James fills in in Emma about what happened with Pete and Ross. Whilst Pete tries to talk to Debbie. He is guilt ridden when she compares him to Cameron, warning him to stay away from her. Pointing out how even if she could forgive him, he surely could never forgive her for her affair with Ross. Pete is devas-

tated but unable to deny it.

Later on, Emma and Finn are finding it hard to locate Ross without the help of the police. Pete arrives and feels the scorn of his family for the first time.

Violent prison inmate Ged has arranged for his friend Anita to meet Brenda with a sim card for her to sneak into prison. As Brenda arrives through prison security she sets off the metal detector. Terrified with what she is doing and aware Bob’s safety whilst inside, is in her hands.

Things are awkward between Sam and Rachel and despite knowing it’s for the best, Sam is devas-

tated to be losing her. Jai is shocked to hear Rachel is moving to Liverpool, but powerless to stop her.

Rachel goes to see Megan thanking her for her help, and left shocked when Megan reveals she is still pregnant.

Ali tells Amelia she is going to live with Sean.

Dan is told he needs to be there for his daughter, but he is still struggling.

In Coronation Street, as Kylie, David, Sarah, Gail and Max gather round Lily and wish her a happy birthday, Bethany broods over the awful lies she’s told the police. Under pressure, Bethany

22:00 One Born Every Minute A mum takes her son’s place to welcome a grandchild she’s only just found out about and a dad turns poet to help his panicking wife through the birth of a baby he never realised he wanted so much 23:00 Witnesses 00:20 Britain’s Benefit Tenants 01:15 Music on 4 01:40 Embarrassing Bodies 02:35 Film - The Joneses (15) 04:15 Grand Designs 05:10 Selling Houses

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film Fatal Memories (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Trauma Doctors Ann treats a man who has taken a nasty fall down a flight of stairs and Gareth and Nick desperately try to revive a mother of five who has collapsed 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door This episode features two extreme stories of neighbours whose disputes led to violent harassment and, ultimately, catastrophe 22:00 Undercover Benefits Cheat Paul meets the crooks and criminals offering claimants the chance to make an illegal buck 23:00 Wentworth Prison 00:00 Capital One Cup 01:30 The Best of Bad TV: The 00s 02:40 Super Casino 04:10 Trapped in a Cult? 05:00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 05:25 HouseBusters 05:50 House Doctor

announces that Max was lying about the assault on Jason, and that she’s given Callum an alibi.

onto the factory floor.

When Carla leaves Aidan in charge of the factory, Nick suspects that she’s heading to the casino.

Alya is amused by Aidan’s attempts to deal with an irate client. Aidan fills Carla in on his first day at Underworld and tells her he’s moved Alya’s desk

Steve’s thrilled when Rover the dog turns up at the pub again. When Cathy leaves crumbs in the butter and soapsuds all over the kitchen, Roy does his best to mask his irritation. Fiz worries that Hope’s tumour might be serious.

Steve lets slip to Lloyd that Liz reckons he and Erica would make a lovely couple. Lloyd admits he likes the idea. As Lloyd and Erica enjoy a drink together they’re suddenly interrupted by the arrival of Andrea. Clocking their intimacy, Andrea storms out again. Lloyd’s torn.

07:00 Life’s Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 09:10 You’ve Been Framed 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Holiday (12) 00:45 Safeword 01:30 Two and a Half Men 02:25 Fake Reaction ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Rising Damp 17:55 Never the Twain 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 21:30 Richard Wilson on the Road 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 Inspector Morse 01:15 Wycliffe 02:15 The Royal ITV4 07:00 Football’s Greatest: Bobby Charlton 07:15 Alias Smith and Jones 08:10 Hogan’s Heroes 09:40 Minder 10:40 The Professionals 11:45 Kojak 12:50 Alias Smith and Jones 13:50 Goodwood Supercars 14:50 Cycling 15:50 Hogan’s Heroes 16:55 The Professionals 18:00 Kojak 19:00 Minder 20:00 Cycling 21:00 British Superbike Championship Highlights 22:00 Film - Air America (15) 00:15 Film - Soldier (18)

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Thursday 27th August

8 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Big Blue UK 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The TV That Made Me 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Six 19:30 Regional News and Weather 20:00 The One Show

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:30 Countryside 999 09:15 Coast 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 Athletics 15:45 Cash in the Attic 16:15 ‘Allo, ‘Allo 16:45 Hidden Kingdoms 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Athletics Highlights of day six at the World Championships from Beijing, China

20:30 EastEnders Tina attempts to bring Mick and Shirley back together

21:00 Building the Ancient City Andrew Wallace-Hadrill examines 21:00 Big Blue Live A how the ancient Romans chance to catch up with all made their city work, the marine life activity in including how the population of more than one milCalifornia’s Monterey Bay lion was fed, housed and transported 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? Research into 22:00 The World’s Derek Jacobi’s maternal Busiest Railway 2015 The side of the family soon team considers the chaluncovers a link to a far lenges faced by Mumbai’s more intriguing past railway and ask what the future holds for the city’s 23:00 BBC News at Ten 55million rail commuters 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Parking 23:00 Country Strife 23:30 Mad 00:35 The Newsnight 00:05 The Fast Unbreakables: Life and Show 00:35 Horizon 01:35 Love on Disability Campus Panorama 02:05 Ocean 01:35 Holiday Queens: The Story of Weatherview 01:40 BBC Cunard 02:35 Athletics 05:00This is BBC Two News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Cain’s angry to learn Pete is hanging around but Moira thinks he wouldn’t attack Debbie as he worships the ground she walks on.

Cain, however, points out Cameron did as well!

Later, Debbie’s unnerved to see Pete in her house.

He tells her he is just picking up his stuff, but he’s heartbroken to see she’s

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Guess This House 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Tipping Point 17:00 Hello Campers 18:00 Rebound 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale Pete faces up to the past 21:00 Coronation Street Tony is out for Callum’s blood 21:30 Flockstars Gabby Logan presents the first semi-final of the celebrity shepherding contest 22:00 Stephen Fry in Central America The actor and comedian embarks on a journey through the entire Central American isthmus, touring the country in his yellow American school bus and takes part in a soap opera 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:40 Sports Life Stories 00:40 Murder, She Wrote 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen

terrified of him.

At the prison, Bob tells a terrified Brenda that she won’t have to sneak any more stuff into prison and hopes his bravado has reassured her. Later, in the cell, Bob stands up to Ged but is wary when he agrees not to go near Brenda again. He worries he has made things worse. Later, Harriet’s shocked when Bob rings her and says she has to change her statement about Ged because if she doesn’t, Ged will hurt Brenda. Harriet tells Bob to lie to Ged that she’ll do what he wants, hopeful Bob will be released before Ged goes to trial.

In Coronation Street, against Eileen’s advice, Tony tells the police that he saw Callum hanging around just before Jason was beaten up. Tony returns from the police station in a foul mood because the police were disbelieving.

Jason regains consciousness and Eileen, Tony and Sean learn the extent of his injuries.

When Aidan shows Carla

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Draw it 08:10 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Simpsons 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Three in a Bed 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 French Collection 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location Kirstie and Phil are helping two super saving couples desperate to take the next step in their lives together 22:00 The Other Prince William A star-crossed royal romance that begins in Tokyo in 1968 and ends in tragedy with the death of one of the British royal family 23:00 Very British Problems 00:00 Educating Cardiff 01:00 Muslim Drag Queens 02:00 One Born Every Minute 02:55 Flying to the Ends of the Earth 03:50 The Auction House 04:45 Location, Location, Location 05:40 Jamie’s Money Saving Meals

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:20 Film - Deadly Daycare (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors A serial offender gives officers the runaround, a highspeed pursuit comes to a painful finish and the occupants of a 4x4 need rescuing after overturning 21:00 Skinny Brides to Fat Wives This documentary meets four women who have piled on extra pounds after walking down the aisle 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Live coverage of the launch of the latest series of Celebrity Big Brother, as another group of famous faces enter the house 00:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 Katie Price: In Therapy 05:00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 05:25 House Doctor

her new company car, she’s underwhelmed, and leaving him to deal with a client, she heads off in it to the casino.

Michelle returns from Ireland and senses the tension between Carla and Aidan.

Michelle, Carla, Aidan and Steve enjoy a family meal at the bistro. Aidan delights in winding Robert up by complaining about the food.

and Carmel’s situation becomes even more embarrassing when Kush also walks into the bedroom and sees them together.

In an attempt to cheer Lloyd up, Liz invites him to spend the evening with her, suggesting that they can watch TV and share a takeaway. Lloyd reluctantly agrees.

Masood quickly leaves after trying to explain the situation, but he gets himself in even more trouble once he’s back at home.

Masood again tries to explain his actions, but an angry Kush sees the commotion and gets involved.

In Eastenders, Masood

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:10 You’ve Been Framed 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Hell’s Kitchen 23:00 Safeword 23:45 Film American Pie: The Wedding (15) 01:40 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Life’s Funniest Moments 02:35 Psych ITV3 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:30 Judge Judy 11:55 Sherlock Holmes 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Rising Damp 17:50 Never the Twain 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Endeavour 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:05 Sherlock Holmes ITV4 07:00 The Professionals 07:50 Alias Smith and Jones 08:45 Hogan’s Heroes 09:40 Minder 10:40 The Professionals 11:45 Kojak 12:50 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Goodwood: The Moving Motorshow 14:55 Cycling 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 17:00 The Professionals 18:00 Kojak 19:00 Minder 20:00 Cycling 21:00 Storage Wars 22:00 Film Tightrope (18) 00:20 Film Sudden Impact (18) 02:50 Cycling 03:45 Movies Now 03:55 Nightscreen

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

The Courier TV Pull-out - 9

Goodbye Downton In a press conference last week, journalists were treated to an exclusive screening of the first episode of the final series of Downton Abbey, followed by a series of Q&A’s with Executive Producers Gareth Neame, Julian Fellowes and Liz Trubridge, along with cast members including Maggie Smith, Hugh Bonneville and Joanne Froggatt.

Maggie Smith, who plays the Dowager Countess, Violet, added: ‘‘I’m just surprised that I got to the end because just before this I’d done about 10 years with Harry Potter. So I felt very old indeed by the time I got to the Dowager. I’m honestly just surprised that I got through it and I’m still here.”

The five times BAFTAaward winning actress paid tribute to the Downton Abbey crew and production team. Maggie continued: “It was extraordinary and incredibly reassuring to see these people day after day

and know that they were the first people there and they were the last people to go.

You’ve no idea how incredibly exhausting that must be.

I do not know how it’s done, quite honestly. And there they are, all of them, and always in a very good mood, which I can’t say for myself.”

Asked what she would be doing next, she replied: “I’m going to be lying down. I

believe for quite some time.

The other thing I will be doing is watching it. I will get the box set and have a good look. I certainly haven’t watched anything that I’ve done. I have seen some of it. But I want to sit down and look at it all.”

Writer and Creator Julian Fellowes said: “The characters have been so real to me for six years. So I do think

you have a little sadness.

You do feel rather sorry to say goodbye to these people because I’ve enjoyed the creation. I’m sorry to see them go. I’m very unlikely to be involved in anything that is as successful again and so, of course, I say goodbye to these golden years with a slight pang. But it seems the right time to go while we’re still firing.”

ITV Turns 60 ITV exploded onto British TV screens on 22nd September 1955 and for the past 60 years has been home to some of TV’s biggest and best loved programmes.

To commemorate this landmark occasion, we’re celebrating with a host of special programmes this September culminating in a live hour-long episode of Coronation Street.

For six decades, ITV has entertained, thrilled and informed the nation with a raft of ground breaking dramas, comedies, headline-grabbing documentaries and award-winning soaps.

From the sharp talking Ena Sharples and Downton’s Dowager Countess, to the warm-hearted world of Ma and Pa Larkin, from catchphrases including ‘a lorra lorra laughs’ and ‘no likey, no lighty’ to the memorable

theme tunes of The Sweeney or Thunderbirds – ITV has entered the hearts and minds of the nation.

ITV Changed My Life reveals the impact ITV has had on some people’s lives, including the first Blind Date couple to marry and the emotional story of how This Morning saved a 38 stone viewers’ life.

Across six episodes, Britain As Seen on ITV tells the story of our changing nation through extraordinary real-life footage seen on our screens over the last 60 years.

You Saw Them Here First: Hall of Fame reveals early footage of some of our favourite TV personalities and The Sound of ITV celebrates TV’s most memorable soundtracks.

Our celebratory programmes will tell the story of six decades of some of the nation’s favourite TV.

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI Ever since I started penning my thoughts on TV for The Courier, the wretched state of Saturday evening entertainment programming has probably occupied

SATURDAYS REMEMBERED

more column inches than anything else. Take aside Strictly; The X Factor; Ant & Dec’s Takeaway; The Voice; and Britain’s Got Talent and what else do we have to keep people

glued to their sets wanting entertainment?

ITV’s Saturday Night Story last weekend made the point unintentionally well with loads of great clips from past shows like Gladiators

and Game for a Laugh that did try to be different, though both the current versions of Henry Kelly and Matthew Kelly did look like they needed to be put on life support. The Gladiators reunion(pictured) was great and this Saturday’s show features double acts, but answer me this question:- Name me the last successful brand new show on a Saturday?

The answer is The Voice, which started in 2012, where original coach, Sir Tom Jones, isn’t a happy bunny after being told he‘s not needed (sacked) for 2016. After all the smoke and mirrors stuff that will.i.am was not returning for the fifth series, it’s the Welsh legend that has been pulled, with Paloma Faith and Boy George joining the

team that still has Ricky Wilson in the chairs. Sir Tom’s removal is all part of TV life and he knows that, but it’s the mishandling of it all that has irked him. The BBC should have given Sir Tom the courtesy of finding out his fate earlier in the year at a pleasant meal with lots of appreciation for his fine efforts, rather than a last minute phone call a day before the formal a n n o u n c e m e n t .

Incidentally, I think Paloma Faith is a good shout, and though eyebrows have been raised, let’s wait until the spinning chairs to make a judgement on Boy George. He could be a good laugh.

Hippies, cult leaders, free love, flower power, racism and good old 1967 feature in a new cop show called Aquarius starring

David Duchovny over on Sky Atlantic.

As a Duchovny fan, I thought I’d give it a shot thinking it would be a lot of old twaddle but it’s really good and he plays a cop (very different to Fox Mulder in The X Files) who is not averse to a bit of rule-breaking. The era is captured well as Duchovny tries to infiltrate a cult led by Charles Manson, who incidentally is still rotting away in a California jail at the age of 80. Aquarius is one of the best US surprises of the year, but steer clear of the second series of True Detective if you get offered a chance to watch it. Trust me, as I sat through the whole lot on Sky Atlantic waiting for something interesting to happen and it didn’t it. A true dud after a fantastic story and cast last year.

10 - The Courier TV Pull-out

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 26 represents Q and 21 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Remember (6) 4 Get away (6) 9 Exceed (7) 10 Smell (5) 11 Guide (4) 12 At ease (7) 15 Rarely (6) 16 Specimen (6) 19 Lavish praise (7) 21 Make weary by being dull (4) 24 Once more (5) 25 Person of military skill (7) 26 Poem of 14 lines (6) 27 Calm (6)

1 Fidgety (8) 2 Restrict (7) 3 Jump over (4) 5 Illegal passenger (8) 6 Dwelling (5) 7 Make (4) 8 Strength (5) 13 Go on (8) 14 Practice (8) 17 Supply (7) 18 Taunt (5) 20 Find out (5) 22 Blocks (4) 23 Run away (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1/3 Hot shots, 6 Gap, 8 Forward, 9 Ruler, 10 Yearn, 11 Amnesia, 12 Banish, 14 Versus, 17 Sublime, 19 Shake, 21 False, 22 Courier, 23 Lay, 24 Dress, 25 Any. Down: 1 Hefty, 2 Terrain, 3 Spain, 4 Ordeal, 5 Strange, 6 Gales, 7 Perhaps, 12 Bashful, 13 Stipend, 15 Stamina, 16 Rescue, 18 Bulky, 19 Snubs, 20 Early.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Greek leg-end of Greek legend? (8,4) 8 Two hundred here about the day nursery (6) 9 ‘Cars’, so unusual to get Academy Award (6) 10 It’s time wasted, having imps sent out (8) 11 The French church tie (4) 12 Not exactly real name, so commit it to memory (5) 14 A practical joke from humourist Ricky Gervais (5) 18 Drug account I’d created (4) 20 Cooked first pie for aircraft (8) 22 Search for water that’s excellent (6) 23 Suspicion about a body part (6) 24 Birds nearly stealing nuts (12) STANDARD CLUES Across 1 Weak spot (8,4) 8 Day care centre (6) 9 Academy Awards (6) 10 Squandered (8) 11 Fine open fabric (4) 12 Gain knowledge (5) 14 Deception (5) 18 Caustic substance (4) 20 Battle of Britain fighter plane (8) 22 Godlike (6) 23 Animal’s hindquarter (6) 24 Nocturnal European songbirds (12)

Down 2 Rifle around about cabin (7) 3 Peruvian group are in with accountants (5) 4 Is ‘Glee’ made for masters (6) 5 Grade, including H for films (6) 6 Coral Sea, perhaps, without a fish (7) 7 Poor Cyril produces a musical (5) 13 Getting shot of many in part of Yorkshire (7) 15 It’s a boat care of motoring organisation’s trainee engineer (7) 16 Just one facet of the view (6) 17 Almost honing, perhaps (4,2) 19 Terrier in car is ill (5) 21 Order a fun year for animal life (5) Down 2 Light automatic rifle (7) 3 South American natives (5) 4 Feudal lords (6) 5 Underpants (6) 6 Large snake mackerel (7) 7 Song text (5) 13 Relieving from (7) 15 Small boat made of wickerwork (7) 16 Facet of an issue (6) 17 Almost (4,2) 19 Conical heap of stones (5) 21 Animals of a region (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Limb, 4 Wines, 9 Impedes, 10 Punch, 11 Bayou, 12 Eclairs, 13 Second, 15 Forgot, 19 Derider, 21 Trial, 23 Loner, 24 Shifted, 25 Hardy, 26 Hard.

Down: 2 Imply, 3 Bedouin, 4 Washer, 5 Nepal, 6 Sinning, 7 Airbus, 8 Ohms, 14 Corinth, 16 Ostrich, 17 Toledo, 18 Trusty, 19 Doll, 20 Durer, 22 Inter.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ate Eel Lei Nor 4 letter words Alee Aloe Arts Bail Bolt Calm Cane Ciao Cool Deco

Deli Disc Drip Echo Else Hale Icon Lens Lies Lieu Lore Meet Neap Neep None Onto OPEC Oral

Pare Rail Seed Shot Sloe Slue Ties Undo 5 letter words Agree Annul Drear Flats Greed Heirs Inapt Lapse

Welted Metre Wrasse Norse 8 letter Oboes words Ogled Colossus Ollas Derelict Phone Heirloom Salad Palpable Sears Sessions Shirt Stonking Sneer 9 letter Unite words Woods Detectors 6 letter Peaceable words 10 letter Eldest words Sussed Unhook Candelabra Wafted Telescopic

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Soltero (6) 4 Paquete (grande) (6) 9 Tortoise (7) 10 Sombra (zona sin sol) (5) 11 Hijo (3) 12 Defender (8) 14 Carnation (6) 15 Playing cards (6) 18 Waitress (8) 20 To give (3) 23 Artículos (5) 24 Spicy pork sausage (7) 25 Balloons (6) 26 Canoes (6)

Down 1 Mushrooms (flattopped) (5) 2 Orange (7) 3 Fuerte (explosión, voz, ruido) (4) 5 Anxiety (8) 6 Garras (de animal) (5) 7 Hares (7) 8 Cuevas (5) 13 Soft drink (8) 14 Ciclismo (7) 16 Godfather (7) 17 Crossroads (5) 19 Fear (terror) (5) 21 Habitaciones (cuartos) (5) 22 Mouth (of person, animal, bottle) (4)

The Courier TV Pull-out - 11 Across 1 Surname of American actor who won two Academy Awards for Best Actor, Captains Courageous (1938) and Boys Town (1939) (5) 4 Acquaintance that you go to school with (9) 9 Greek god of flocks and herds, typically represented with the horns, ears, and legs of a goat on a man’s body (3) 10 Fifth sign of the zodiac; the sun is in this sign from about July 23 to August 22 (3) 11 Fires or lights set up in high or prominent positions as warnings, signals or celebrations (7) 12 Area of redness and spots on a person’s skin, appearing especially as a result of illness (4) 13 Evaluation of scientific, academic or professional work by others working in the same field (4,6) 15 Award-winning British game show broadcast on ITV and hosted by Bradley

Walsh: The ----- (5) 16 Colourless flammable gas used chiefly in welding and in organic synthesis (9) 17 People who like to be active during the hours of darkness (5,4) 21 Score of two strokes less than par on a hole at golf (5) 23 Film, book or illustrated lecture about the places visited by or experiences of a ‘globetrotter’ (10) 24 Unexpected, minor and typically temporary deviation from a general trend or a very short highpitched sound made by an electronic device (4) 27 Informal term for an alert and energetic person (4,3) 28 Title of a UK Top Five hit single by Lobo: Me and You and a Dog Named --(3) 29 Basic unit of currency in North and South Korea (3) 30 Long, open, level area, typically beside the sea, along which people

SUDOKU (Very Easy)

Quiz Word

may walk for pleasure (9) 31 Mass of small loose stones that form or cover a slope on a mountain (5)

Down 1 Large inoffensive chiefly nocturnal ungulate of tropical America and southeast Asia having a heavy

body and fleshy snout (5) 2 Partial or total loss of memory (7) 3 Founded in 1701, a private Ivy League research university located in New Haven, Connecticut (4) 4 Acute intestinal infection caused by ingestion of contaminated water or food (7) 5 Hotel providing overnight lodging for travellers (7) 6 Informal name for rolls of fat round a person’s waist (5,5) 7 Poisonous plant of the buttercup family, bearing hooded pink or purple flowers and found in temperate regions of the northern hemisphere (7) 8 American medical drama television series that originally ran on NBC from October 1982 to May 1988, St --------- (9) 14 Fashion accessory that is usually worn wrapped around the neck like a scarf (7,3)

15 Surname of English painter whose works include Flatford Mill (1817) and The Hay Wain (1821), inspired by the landscape of his native Suffolk (9) 18 Makes ready or suitable or equips in advance for a particular purpose or for some use, event, etc (5,2) 19 Australian Aboriginal spear thrower consisting of a stick with a hooked end (7) 20 Short stiff hairs growing on a man’s face when he has not shaved for a few days (7) 22 Conflict fought between Iraq and a coalition led by the United States that freed Kuwait from Iraqi invaders (1990-1991) (4,3) 25 Pasta in short tubes with diagonally cut ends (5) 26 Nickname of the greedy, unethical commissioner of Hazzard County, J D Hogg, who featured in the American television series The Dukes of Hazzard (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH EXPRESIONES CON ‘POR’ Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

sports QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Robin Cousins 2. Newmarket 3. Tennis 4. Croquet 5.

Tiger Woods 6. A Type Of Jump In Show Jumping 7. Sir Gordon Richards 8. They Both Ended Up With Movie Careers 9. Hit by Lightning 10. Mike Tyson 11. Womens Tennis 12. Bob Champion

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Bobcat, 4 Osso buco, 9 Surrey, 10 Watt-hour, 12 Lute, 13 Guillotine, 15 San Sebastian, 18 Pyrotechnics, 21 Unwrinkled, 22 Vice, 24 Redshank, 25 Hornet, 26 Mindsets, 27 Venous.

Down: 1 Basilisk, 2 Baritone, 3 Abel, 5 Scarlet fever, 6 Osteopathy, 7 Utopia, 8 O'Brien, 11 Put a sock in it, 14 Very lights, 16 Pimiento, 17 Asbestos, 19 Quorum, 20 Sweden, 23 Rose.

por fin

por ahora

por lo menos

por aquí

por lo tanto

por ciento

por lo visto

por cierto

por otra parte

por desgracia

por primera vez

por ejemplo

por suerte

por eso

por supuesto

por favor

por último

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.por adelantado, 2.por ahora,

15.por primera vez,

k.around here, l.for now,

3.por aquí, 4.por ciento,

16.por suerte, 17.por supuesto,

m.consequently, n.for example,

5.por cierto, 6.por desgracia,

18.por último.

o.at least, p.on the other hand,

7.por ejemplo, 8.por eso,

q.therefore, r.apparently,

9.por favor, 10.por fin,

a.for the first time, b.certainly,

11.por lo menos, 12.por lo tanto,

c.of course, d.unfortunately,

13.por lo visto,

e.in advance, f.percent, g.finally,

14.por otra parte,

h.luckily, i.please, j.lastly,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1e, 2l, 3k, 4f, 5b, 6d, 7n, 8q, 9i, 10g, 11o, 12m, 13r, 14p, 15a, 16h, 17c, 18j.

1. Who won the men's gold medal for ice-figure skating at the 1980 Winter Olympics?

2. At Which English Course Is The 1000 Guineas Horse Race Run? 3. For Which Sport Is Andy Murray Well Known?

4. Which Game Makes Use Of Hoops?

5. Which Golfer Won Over $9 Million Prize Money In 2000?

6. What Is An Oxer?

7. Who Was The First Jockey To Receive A Knighthood?

8. Apart From Being Gold Medalists What Did American Swimmers Johnny Weissmuller & Buster Crabbe Have In Common?

9. What happened to golfer Lee Travino, on 27th June 1975?

10. In 1986 Which Boxer Became The Youngest Ever World Heavyweight Champion?

11. In Which Sport Would Win The Federation Cup? 12. Which Jockey Did John Hurt Portray In The Film Champions?

por adelantado

Fill It In

12

Friday 21st August 2015 Aries March 21-April 20 You could be tempted to branch out and try your hand at something new this week or feel a current project does not have the stars behind it. Do not change direction now, or you could miss a chance to reach a more secure position and to bring about important changes. You could also reach a new agreement with a loved one or close friend.

Taurus April 21-May 21 Rearranging your home life to give yourself more freedom to manoeuvre may be your top priority right now, but with your ruler, Venus, travelling backwards through the skies, you could run into setbacks or delays.

They could turn out to be a blessing in disguise, so do not try to swim against the tide.

Gemini May 22-June 21

Leo July 24-August 23 Recent events could make you wonder if a personal goal is worth pursuing. Do not give up on your current plans yet. With romantic Venus travelling backwards through your sign, you could see problems where there are none, so bide your time and focus on a new project. It could pay dividends.

If you take advantage of the stars this week, you can usher in a more exciting and fulfilling era, so do not let a personal issue cloud your judgment. A recent problem will resolve itself if you are patient; concentrate on broadening your horizons and insist that others give you space. A conversation this weekend could point you in a new direction.

Libra September 24-October 23 With your ruler, Venus, travelling backwards

suggests you could misread someone’s real

through the area of your skies that rules

intentions or see problems where there are

your social life and friendships, you could

none. However Sunday’s link between your

have doubts about somebody’s feelings or

ruler, Mercury, and Pluto, which rules

let a passing comment throw you off your

instincts and deep feelings, also gives you

stride. An unexpected twist of fate will put

extra insight into what is really going on.

you in a strong position later in the week.

With Pluto, the planet that rules secrets and deep feelings, in the area of your skies that rules your closest bonds with others, what you want from your relationships is undergoing far-reaching changes. A conversation this weekend could revolutionise your outlook on a tricky situation. Put your real needs and personal interests first.

If you take decisive action, you can make progress with a project you were forced to shelve. Do not let your doubts about the future make you hedge your bets or listen to advice from someone close. What you need most now is confidence in your ability to reach your goal.

Virgo August 24-September 23

Trouble in your chart’s communication zone

Cancer June 22-July 23

Sagittarius November 23-December 21

Scorpio October 24-November 22

Capricorn December 22 - January 20 The pattern of the stars this week will help you to see your situation in perspective.

With Pluto, the planet of creative growth and change, in your sign, a new ambition could come into much sharper focus. Do not hesitate to give up on a project that you have outgrown or be afraid to turn the page.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19 With romantic Venus stirring up confusion in the area of your skies that rules your love life, you could read into someone’s words that are not there or make decisions that you will regret. Something you discover later in the week could put you in a new, and strong, position. It could also make you see your options in a different light.

Pisces February 20 - March 20

Do not let a career setback undermine your

Someone close could help you to dismiss

confidence, or feel you should change

your doubts about a new creative project or

course. The tide turns in your favour soon, so

make you see your situation from a more

put plans on hold and focus on your social

constructive angle, so do not try to work

life. Mercury, the planet of communication,

things out alone this week. You could also

and your ruler, Pluto, now in tune, you can

find that what you want from an important

break new ground with someone unexpected.

friendship is now changing.

Motoring +

5

Friday 21st August 2015

Keeping Cool Inside The Car A New Study Reveals What Really Happens Inside a Hot Car

Although many people still ignore the warnings, it is common knowledge that animals and humans will die if left in a hot car, now a study conducted by the RACC Automobile Association, in conjunction with the Swiss Automobile

Club, has shed light on some of the affects of vehicles in the sun.

Among the key findings of the study, it has been confirmed that if a vehicle left in direct sunlight, where the outside temperature is 35°C, standing without air

conditioning, the inside temperature of the vehicle will reach a dangerous 55°C, or 131°F. A recent study in America stated that high environmental temperatures can be dangerous to the human body. In the range of 90 to

105°F, heat cramps and exhaustion may occur.

Between 105 and 130°F, heat exhaustion is almost certain, and environmental temperature over 130°F is likely to lead to heatstroke.

The RACC study wanted to confirm if the colour of a car can impact the internal temperature. They chose two different coloured vehicles for this comparison, a white one and a black one.

They found that in the black car, the temperature reached up to 17°F more than the white one.

As for the common practice of leaving the windows open a fraction to decrease the temperature inside the car, although this does have an impact, the results under lab conditions revealed just a 2 degree difference, which is why the advice of never leaving a pet in a parked car, even

with the windows open, is such an important one to heed.

The advice concluded from the report is to try to remain stationary in direct sunlight for as shorter time as possible. Parking in the shade or under a carport will help lower the temperature.

Using windscreen shades when parked will also help lower the internal temperature, as will covering exposed areas such as the dashboard, and especially metallic features inside the vehicle, which can cause burns when touched.

Skin damage can occur from a temperature of 45°C. The internal elements like the dashboard, the seats, the steering wheel or gear lever can reach temperatures approaching 80°C if they are not protected.

Never leave anybody inside a car in the sun, although children and animals are more susceptible to damage caused by heat.

Leaving the windows open, if the place you are parked is secure, can reduce the temperature slightly, as can choosing a lighter colour car when you purchase it.

Take time before you start your trip to open all the vehicle doors and windows and let fresh air flow through for a few minutes before entering. This will help to avoid high temperatures during the trip.

You should also be aware that using air conditioning can also be detrimental, especially if the difference between the interior and exterior temperatures are severe, so make sure you adjust the setting accordingly.

Buying and Selling a Car

Prejudices Cause Concern

Advice to Help Simplify the Process

Driver Attitude is a Risk to Safety

When you sell a car, you need to fill in a SALE CONTRACT, and make a photocopy of the buyer´s id.

Make sure you include the date and the time when the vehicle was handed over.

Inform the buyer that they have 15 days to go to the Traffic Office and change the Log Book into their name and send you a copy to verify this has happened.

After 15 days, if this has not been done, YOU, the seller. Will have to go to the Traffic Office with: 1.Your ID 2. Photocopy of the buyer´s id.

3. Sales Contract (Signed by both buyer and seller) 4. Fill in the “Notification of Sale” Document. (You can download this from DGT website or get a copy on the information desk of the Traffic Office.)

If for any reason you have forgotten to do these steps and you cannot contact the buyer, go to the Traffic Office and deregister your vehicle. In Spain, this

is known as “Dar de Baja Temporal un Vehiculo”.

From that moment you will not pay the annual tax, and when the vehicle is stopped by the police, and they check that the vehicle is deregistered, the vehicle will be clamped or towed away until the problem is solved.

If you have bought a car, remember you have 15 days to transfer it into your name. We are going to explain step by step how to do it; – Write on the sale contract date/hour. From that moment you will be the provisional owner.

– You will need to go to the Traffic Office with the following documents; 1- Sales Contract (signed by both parties) 2- Photocopy of the seller´s id.

3- The originals, not copies, of the logbook (Permiso de Circulación) and ITV. 4- Last year´s road tax certificate, known in some

places as Suma.

5- Application to change the ownership which is the “Solicitud Cambio de Titularidad”. You can download it from DGT webpage or get one in the Traffic office.

When you have all these documents, call the number 060, to make an appointment with the Traffic Office.

Go to the TAX OFFICE (Hacienda) and pay the TAX “Transfer Tax” ( T r a n s m i s i o n e s Patrimoniales, model 620).

You can download this model from the webpage of the Ministry of Treasury. (www.agenciatributaria.es) After paying the tax, go to the TRAFFIC OFFICE, where you will have to pay a FEE (depending on the vehicle you are going to buy; car, motorbike…) and give them the receipt you got when you pay the model 620 together with all 6 documents.

In a few minutes you will have the vehicle transferred into your name.

Over 16 million UK motorists judge other drivers based on the colour, type, and cleanliness of their car and even let it affect how they drive according to a new study released today.

Some 45 per cent of Brits allow their own prejudices to affect how courteous or aggressively they act towards other road users – with something as simple as a bumper sticker prompting millions to see red.

In a survey of 2,000 drivers, more than a third admit they allow their assumptions to affect them behind the wheel, meaning they are intentionally more or less reckless as a result.

The research for Continental Tyres also revealed that we are twice as likely to not let someone out at a junction if they are in a flash car because ‘they think they’re it’. Yet, the biggest reason why drivers will not let someone pull out is if they can see the other person at the wheel using their mobile phone.

It was also revealed that six in ten get agitated by a sticker for a rival sports team or in support of a cause or organisation. Mark Griffiths, spokesman for Continental Tyres, said: “It is alarming that 34 per cent of drivers will change their driving style based on a prejudice about something as unimportant as how clean a vehicle is.

“Keen observation is

vital for road safety and this study was part of our commitment to making driving safer, while trying to understand the ways that motorists behave. “ It seems UK motorists are not bothered about the prejudices made about their car. Over half expect to be stereotyped – though only one in seven admit it affects their choice of car.

Occasionally it can count in our favour as the survey found that 27 per cent of people make an effort to be courteous to people in the same make and model of car as them.

Opinions are divided on hybrid and electric vehicles with one in three believing owners are right to consider the environment and an equal number describing them as ‘tree-huggers’ or ‘self-righteous’.

Mark Griffiths at Continental Tyres added: “We might form opinions of people based on issues like appearance, though for that to lead to more aggressive

driving is dangerous. We think road users must be courteous to others at all times.

“Rather than aesthetic and other non-risk affecting features, the importance should be placed on factors like driving behaviour, car safety and tyre condition – as these are the things that really impact on safety. “ The top ten of drivers we are least likely to let in at a junction are:

Anyone using mobile phone Performance car Towing a caravan Flash car 4x4 Taxi driver Learner Bus Van Pensioner

a

We might all think that we are considerate drivers, but ask yourself if there are any of the list that you inwardly scorn at, we’re pretty sure the answer is yes.

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Motoring +

Friday 21st August 2015

ŠKODA NAMED AS THE UK’S MOST DEPENDABLE CAR BRAND

ŠKODA has been named as the UK’s most dependable brand in a new JD Power study.

The inaugural 2015 UK Vehicle Dependability Study (VDS) asked owners to report problems with their new cars – from serious breakdowns to troublesome in-car entertainment issues.

Once

analysed, the results gave ŠKODA a clear victory, with the brand comprehensively outscoring luxury brands.

The study, which focused on new cars registered between April 2012 and March

2014, used owner data to generate an overall dependability score for each brand.

SKODA’s score of 77 was the lowest in the entire survey, with the Industry Average for 2015 recorded as 114.

Every ŠKODA in the survey performed better than the industry average, with the Fabia ranked as the third most dependable car in the Small Car category.

Commenting on the survey, Alasdair Stewart, Director, ŠKODA UK said: “This result perfectly illustrates ŠKODA’s passion for delivering quality and dependability. As this study shows, our build quality is the envy of the industry, and I’m delighted that this has been recognised. We’re always striving to improve quality and reliability, and we hope that this will be repeated in future studies.”

Following the report findings, UK Consumer organisation Which? has also named ŠKODA as a firm favourite with owners.

The organisation’s 2015– 2016 Car Guide named the Superb and the Yeti as the most satisfying cars to own in the estate and SUV classes,

achieving owner satisfaction ratings of 96 per cent and 93 per cent respectively.

Despite being mocked by the public and the butt of jokes for many comedians in their earlier days, ŠKODA has since won numerous industry and media awards

for customer satisfaction and has been in the JD Power top ten for more than 20 years in a row. The brand has also been named Best Manufacturer in the Auto Express Driver satisfaction survey three times in the past four years.

Protection for your loved ones with family protection cover Don’t put off for tomorrow what should be done today !

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Motoring +

Supercar Showdown

Supercars expected include Bugatti Veyron, McLaren P1 and Lamborghini Huracan

The New Ford GT The promise of breathtaking performance

After debuting in a striking blue at the 2015 Detroit show, Ford's incredible 2017 GT supercar reappeared a month later in the Windy City wearing a fresh coat of paint and

a set of rockin' racing stripes. And here we were, thinking we couldn't love this car any more. We. Want.

Ford's all-new GT supercar was the smash hit of the

Back for its fifth year, Supercar Showdown is the must-see family spectacular that brings some of the world’s most desirable and glamorous motors to Beaulieu.

See a number of prestigious supercars in static displays and hear their distinctive engine notes as they

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Friday 21st August 2015

unleash their horsepower on the demonstration straight.

Special features for 2015 include a unique line-up of vehicles demonstrating the evolution of high-end motoring since 1915 as organisers hope to feature a `supercar` from each of the last 100 years on the lawns of Palace House. Supercar Showdown

is a must for all supercar enthusiasts, providing an opportunity to get almost close enough to touch what most can only ever dream of owning! All vehicles taking part will be entered into the People’s Choice Award with the winner, selected by public vote, receiving a coveted Beaulieu trophy.

2015 Detroit auto show, and although we were given its basic specs, we were hungry for more. So we cornered

anyone we could find from Ford to give us the 600-plus-hp sports car's juicier details.

While it’ll cost 361,500 Euro and only sell about 250

units per year, the Ford GT has stirred something in enthusiasts everywhere.

With its low-slung prototyperacer stance and promise of breathtaking

performance, the car has certainly put the supercar world on notice—though it’ll remain to be seen if it can put the lap times on the board to match the world’s best.

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Friday 21st August 2015

Motoring +

Friday 21st August 2015

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36

Food & Drink

Friday 21st August 2015

2

Meet the Komodo Dragon, the UK's new hottest chilli A sizzlingly hot chilli is launched in Tesco stores this week

Desserts Pineapple Cake

Angel

Food

Ingredients 1 box of angel food cake mix, 1 large can crushed pineapple.

Directions Put dry cake mix in bowl (do not add the water as directed on the box). Add entire can of pineapple with juice. Mix carefully until all dry mix in incorporated. Pour into either a tube pan, 9x13 pan, or cupcake pan with liners. Bake at 350 degrees for time on box for size pan around 30-40 minutes.

Can also use low calorie cherry, blueberry, or lemon canned pie filling instead of pineapple.

Chocolate Fondue 1/3c fat-free evaporated milk 4 oz bittersweet chocolate (labeled 60% cacao or above)* 3 mini marshmallows Directions Break the chocolate into small chunks. Place all the ingredients into a medium size saucepan over low heat.

Stir until all the marshmallows melt and the mixture becomes smooth. Pour mixture into a fondue pot and serve with cut fruit.

Spicy food lovers are in for a treat, as the UK's hottest-ever commerciallygrown chilli pepper has hit supermarket shelves.

The Komodo Dragon pepper measures up to 1.4m Scovilles - the official scale used to assess chillies' heat. This is around 400 times hotter than the average Jalapeno pepper, which comes in at 3,500 Scovilles.

Some like it hot: the world of chilli festivals The chilli is being grown in Blunham, Bedfordshire by the UK’s largest producer of chillies, Salvatore Genovese, who has spent 15 years trying to get the Komodo Dragon to thrive in the British climate

It is being launched 500 Tesco branches this week, costing £1 for a 45g packet.

Tesco says that chilli's heat takes around 10 seconds to build, with the postponed reaction time lulling diners into a false sense of security. Just a tiny nibble will make eyes water.

Tesco's chilli buyer, Eleanor Mansell, said: “At first you can taste a wonderful hot fruitiness but then after about 10 seconds the full might of this little demon hits you and your whole mouth is aglow”.

Go to work on an egg: UK egg sales soar by 10 per cent

Eight per cent of Brits have an egg each morning, and new research from The Grocer has found that egg consumption at the breakfast table has increased by 9.6 per cent during the last year.

Eggs now make an appearance in eight per cent of breakfasts around the UK, compared to 7.2 per cent a year ago.

In addition to this, the British Egg Industry Council say volume sales of eggs across retail, food service, and food manufacturing has risen by two percent in the last year, meaning we now go through over 700,000 eggs a day.

BEIC chariman Andrew Joret told The Grocer: "Decades of scares over salmonella and confusion around cholesterol are a thing of the past and eggs are now seen by consumers as a versatile, healthy option."

Budgens trading manager for meat, fish and poultry Charlotte Tyne said the increase in eggs consumption could be because consumers are becoming increasingly interested in high-protein diets, while Rob Newell, marketing director at The Happy Egg Co, said that "few breakfast foods could "compete with the satiety effect of the humble egg".

Food & Drink

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Friday 21st August 2015

The best foods to bring home from your holiday Find out what you should slip into your suitcase huge, heavily laden stalls and looks for the elderly women selling just a trayful of home-grown produce: “Theirs is always the best.”

Italy's Torrecchia: paradise regrown Sam Clark of London’s Moro and Morito counsels checking out Spain’s array of vermouths – far larger and more interesting than here. And the Spanish love gin and tonic but mix it in huge fishbowl glasses with spices and flavourings.

Bring back sweetcornflavour tonic from Spanish branches of Lidl.

Holiday conversations in my family are all about food. What we are eating, where we are going to eat, what we have just eaten, where to find the best markets, what the local specialities are, where the best ice cream is – and what we are going to bring home.

What is really worth carrying back? We’ve all hoicked back heavy bottles of the delicious and goodvalue vino from holiday only to find that in the gloom of a late British summer it tastes like flat plonk.

The world's most beautiful food markets

These days, it’s easier to find foreign produce over here too – so you don’t have to stuff your carry-on bag with chorizo.

Nonetheless, there are still culinary treasures worth giving up suitcase space for – fresh produce that will never find its way to British shops, and will brighten the first few postholiday meals.

First, you’ll need to get your head around the rules – those for bringing food back from outside the EU are arcane. You can find the regulations on the gov.uk website.

The good news is that you can bring pretty much whatever you want back from the EU (providing it is legal and not diseased, obviously), so you can shop with abandon in brilliant continental markets. I asked chefs what they bring back.

From plantain to prawns: what to buy from speciality food shops

Spain

For London-based Spanish chef José Pizarro it is the fragrant bunches of wild mountain camomile from the market that he can’t resist when he returns to Spain. “It’s so much sweeter and better than anything over here”. Plus he always skirts around the

Italy

Chef Jacob Kenedy of London’s Bocca di Lupo and the new Vico restaurant says not to bother with Parmesan and balsamic vinegar that you can get at home. “I take an insulated box and fill it with sausages made by a local butcher, olives grown by the grocer and marinated by his wife, figs bursting with honeylike juices, cherries, lettuces, Ligurian basil and Amalfi lemons. Rarefied delights that love or money can’t procure in Blighty.”

Greece

Sam Clark is just back from Greece, where she bought mountain honey, young feta “more of the texture of cream cheese but with a salty feta tang”. She added Greek rusks flavoured with anise seed, which give crunch to salads, and rose petal jam “delicious with local sheep’s yogurt”, bags of pistachios and a bundle of horta, bitter Greek greens, which she boils and dresses with lemon and olive oil.

• How bees became big business: the rise of the £30 jar of honey Country walks with the family meant foraging too – mountain sage for tea, and wild thyme and oregano.

Sophie Michell of London’s Pont St restaurant, a regular visitor to Crete, also

brings back oregano, “picked at dawn when it is supposed to be more fragrant”.

France

Chef Tom Kitchin of The Kitchin in Edinburgh recommends hunting out ancient Comté cheese on trips to France, as well as charcuterie from the market and boxes of fleur de sel, the finest top layer from sea salt pans, collected by hand and still slightly damp. “I just love that stuff.”

Also worth their considerable suitcase weight are tins of duck confit – great store cupboard standbys and far less expensive in French supermarkets than the posh delis here. In the markets, pick up tubs of mara de bois strawberries, which have the most intense flavour but are too fragile for British supermarkets to stock.

A-Z of unusual ingredients: tahini

Both Srulovich and Sam Clark recommend the spice market in Istanbul. Clark loves the pickled zata’ar, which is a herb, not the dry spice mix you get here and “is great with cheese, flatbread and olives”, while Srulovich bags Turkish pul biber, a hot chilli mix.

Black nigella seed oil, which “has a nutty unusual flavour for salads”, oregano oil and pomegranate seed oil also find their way into Clark’s bag.

The big chilli sauce guide: how to tell your sriracha from adobo Not going abroad? Don't fret, here are a few suppliers of exotic foodstuffs, that will make you feel like you are on holiday if you’re not: Jekkas Herb Farm for strong Mediterranean herbs Natoora for fragrant Italian fruit Ottolenghi for Al Arz brand tahini, similar to the Israeli stuff.

38

Health

Friday 21st August 2015

NHS spent £116m on gluten free pizza, cakes and biscuits Doctors prescribed gluten-free junk food to more than 200,000 patients

The NHS has been accused of spending nearly £116 million on gluten-free food in one year, including biscuits, doughnuts, pizzas and burger mixes.

The health service wrote 211,200 prescriptions for low protein or gluten-free food last year, according to figures from the Health and Social

Care Information Centre.

The figure, twice as much as a decade ago, does not even include handling fees, while can reach up to £40 per order, the Daily Mail reported.

Gluten-free food is currently prescribed to coeliac sufferers at the discretion of doctors, but includes items

many would consider junk food such as jelly, cake mix and a variety of biscuits.

One GP called the measures "irresponsible", claiming some patients were providing a "shopping list" to feed their whole familes.

Other doctors have been warning about the flaws in the system for years, with a

British Medical Journal article in 2013 warning it cost the NHS £27 million in prescriptions alone.

Then, Dr James Cave, editor of the Drugs and Therapeutics Bulletin, said: “The issue for us is not so much cost, but, ‘Is this a good use of GPs’ time?’

“They are acting like bakers or grocers to people with coeliac disease. It just seems like an odd, archaic way of doing things.”

A spokesman for the Department of Health said: "At a time when NHS budgets are tight and the latest treatments are expensive, we need to get our priorities right.

"The NHS offers worldleading care, but it wasn't founded to prescribe chocolate biscuits and cakes — gluten free or otherwise — especially given the damage we know obesity can cause.

"The NHS must make the

best use of every available pound of taxpayers' money — this just looks wasteful.”

Sarah Sleet, chief executive of Coeliac UK, said: "The reality is that in many areas of the country many patients are struggling to get the limited amount of gluten-free staples set out in national guidance or having treatment services stopped altogether.

"The number of those medically diagnosed with coeliac disease has increased by around 14 per cent since 2009, while the cost of gluten-free food prescribing services has actually decreased by 3.5 per cent over the same period. This shows that the vast majority of people with coeliac disease, and those who treat

and

support them, use N H S

resources both carefully and responsibly.

"Coeliac disease is a lifelong autoimmune condition for which the only treatment is a lifelong strict gluten-free diet.

Undiagnosed or untreated coeliac disease can lead to osteoporosis, infertility and in rare cases, small bowel cancer and without support, people with coeliac disease are at greater risk of these complications."

UK gym membership increase by 44% this year Gyms with more flexible contracts contribute to increase in membership in last year Consumer spending on UK gym membership has soared by 44% in the last year, figures reveal, driven by the growth in popularity of

new, budget gyms which come without the expensive shackles of contracts that cannot be unlocked and hefty fees.

The research suggests that earlier reports of the demise of the gym – as the UK enthusiastically embraces cycling, park runs

and open water swimming – may have been premature.

In June Sport England reported the first fall in the number of people going to gyms or keeping fit in the privacy of their own homes – by 153,000 to 6.56 million – but the latest figures indicate they are being more proactive.Discerning and healthconscious consumers are demanding more flexible ways of improving their fitness, research has found, as they take advantage of new technology such as apps and wearable devices – effectively virtual personal trainers – alongside traditional gym facilities.

The data is published by Cardlytics, which monitors consumer spending on debit

cards, credit cards and direct debits, based on analysis of 5.5 million accountholders. It looked into the spending behaviour of gymgoers in the eight weeks prior to them joining a gym, and the first eight weeks of their membership.The findings paint a picture of a nation of growing numbers of gymgoers, who are in turn spending more money across the board. At specialist health stores, for example, spending among gymgoers jumps 55% in the two weeks prior to them starting their membership, while shopping at sporting goods stores rises by 96%.

The popularity of budget gyms, including Pure Gym, EasyGym, Anytime Fitness and DW Sports, are driving the increase, with a a 66% rise in monthly expenditure.

Health

39

Friday 21st August 2015

Super head lice warning Parents will be alarmed to know that nits are increasingly resistant to the most popular treatments

Head lice are becoming immune to common treatments, scientists have revealed, meaning parents are fighting a losing battle with nits in their children's hair.

With the return to school on the horizon, parents will be worried to learn that new research suggests that head

lice have developed a "high level" of resistance to some of the most popular treatments.

Is this the worst ever case of nits?

The itch-inducing pests lead to missed school days and frustrated parents, who could have even more reason to be wary of the bug

this year.

If you use a chemical over and over, these little creatures will eventually develop resistance.

Dr Yoon Scientists report that lice in at least 25 American states have developed resistance to over-the-counter treatments still widely recommended by doctors and

schools.

Doctor Kyong Yoon, of Southern Illinois University, said: "We are the first group to collect lice samples from a large number of populations across the United States.

"What we found was that 104 out of the 109 lice populations we tested had high levels of gene mutations, which have been linked to resistance to pyrethroids."

Pyrethroids are a family of insecticides used widely indoors and outdoors to control mosquitoes and other

insects. It includes permethrin, the active ingredient in some of the most common lice treatments sold over the counter.

Dr Yoon said that the momentum toward widespread pyrethroid-resistant lice has been building for years. The first report on the development came from Israel in the late 1990s.

He became one of the first to report the phenomenon in the US in 2000 when he was a graduate student at the University of Massachusetts.

Dr Yoon said: "I was working on insecticide metabolism in a potato beetle when my mentor, John Clark, suggested I look into the resurgence of head lice.

"I asked him in what country and was surprised when he said the US." Dr Yoon tested the pests for a trio of genetic mutations known collectively as kdr, which stands for "knock-down resistance" which were first found in house flies in the late 1970s after farmers began using pyrethroids rather than DDT.

One drink a day increases the risk of breast cancer Women are warned that one glass of wine a day could significantly increase their risk of breast cancer

Having just one drink a day increases the risk of breast cancer in women by 15 per cent, a major study has found.

The findings have led Harvard University researchers to recommend that those with a family history of cancer, particularly women, should consider reducing their intake below recommended levels.

The study, published by the BMJ, found a link between alcohol and cancer in men who had smoked at some point in their lives, but not in those who had never been a smoker.

However, even in women who had never smoked, the risk of alcohol-related cancers - mainly breast cancer increased even after one alcoholic drink a day.

Researchers said that because smoking is a major risk factor for most alcohol-

related cancers - apart from female breast cancer - the apparent influence of alcohol on cancer could be partly driven by its effect among smokers.

Light or moderate drinking was classed as less than 15g (around one-and-a-half units or just under two drinks) a day in women and 30g (three units or three or four drinks) and below in men.

The study of more than 88,000 women and 47,000 men aged over 30 found the median consumption of alcohol was 1.8g a day in women and 5.6g in men.

Other findings were that abstainers or heavy drinkers were less likely than light and moderatedrinkers to have had regular physical examinations by their GP and be screened for colorectal, prostate, or breast cancer.

They also engaged in fewer physical activities and had lower dietary scores.

Heavy drinkers were more likely to be long-term smokers.

Breast cancer was the leading alcohol-related cancer in women, while colorectal cancer was the major alcohol-associated cancer in men.

For alcohol-related cancers, increased frequency of drinking was associated with increased risk in men but not in women, whereas binge drinking was associated with increased risk in women but not in men.

The study, which was led

by Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health in Boston, Massachusetts, said it is estimated that alcohol consumption has caused 3.6% of all cancers worldwide 1.7% in women and 5.2% in men.

An accompanying editorial in the BMJ by Dr Jurgen Rehm of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada, said more research is needed, and is becoming increasingly possible in high income countries where the number of non-smokers has increased while alcohol consumption has been relatively stable.

"Finally, people with a family history of cancer, especially women with a family history of breastcancer, should consider reducing their alcohol intake to below recommended limits, or even abstaining altogether, given the now well established link between moderate drinking and alcohol-related cancers," he added.

Dr Richard Roope, clinical lead for cancer at the Royal College of GPs, said: "We have known about the

strong link between alcohol and cancer for some time, but this study serves as a useful reminder about how pronounced this is, especially when coupled with smoking, and when people have a family history of cancer.

"According to recent figures, as much as 30% of all bowel cancers, 21% of oesophageal cancers and

6% of breast cancers in women are all suggested to be associated with alcohol every year.

"GPs do not want to be killjoys - but we want our patients to live long and healthy lives and lifestyle habits, such as smoking and drinking alcohol, are very real risk factors in developing cancer that can't be ignored."

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Friday 21st August 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

ADVICE: Ellis had accidentally deleted safari from her mac

Q A

Hello Richard, I have accidentally deleted Safari from my MacBook Pro. Can you advise me as to how I can reinstall it again? Many Than, Ellis

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Lynda wanted to know how to set her default web browser back to Firefox after upgrading to Windows 10

Q

Hi Richard, I have upgraded to windows 10 quite easily (thank goodness!) the only annoying Hi Ellis, if the application itself has been removed then the best option is to reinstall thing is that my browser has been changed. It asks me every time I log on if I want to set it and that means reinstalling the core components of the operating system (not a Firefox as default but it won't stay there, I followed the online instructions but I must be misssmall job) - other options could be to take a copy of the application from another ing something, have you come across this yet? Lynda. computer that is running the same version of the OS that yours is running or live without Safari and use Firefox or Chrome as an alternative.

A

Hi Lynda, this article should help… https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/how-change-your-default-browser-windows10

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Friday 21st August 2015

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Classifieds

Friday 21st August 2015

ACCOUNTANTS

CHURCH SERVICES

Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org.

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966

CARS Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. Call Our Team Now on Tel: 966 923 963 Car document transfers same day provisional certificate. No trafico visit required. Torrevieja based office. Call Today 966 923 963.

799 273 or 660 127 276.

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers.

Provide an insight into most musical styles.

From 10€ per hour.

Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL MEDIA needs selfemployed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SERVICES Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with Spanish Wills, debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence, Spanish Wills. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today.

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Classifieds

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Friday 21st August 2015

ALARMS

AUTO ELECTRICIAN

CATERING

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

CLEANERS

SWIMMING POOL SERVICES

PETS

AUCTIONS

DRAINAGE

BARBER

PLUMBER

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CAR BREAKERS

CARPENTER

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

SURVEYOR

VAN HIRE

REMOVALS

WELDER

44

Ivie Davies on Golf

Friday 21st August 2015

REVEALING CHATTY CADDIES

Have you ever wondered what a player and his caddy say to each other on the golf course? Well, I’ve been able to get hold of some priceless snippets, so read on and hopefully enjoy!!

DAVE MUSGROVE & SEVE BALLESTEROS The great Spaniard bewildered and thrilled the crowds at the 1979 Open Championship, playing shots from everywhere, including from the car park of Royal Lytham and St Annes. It was breath-taking in every sense

of the word. So much so that he stood on the 18th green and turned to his caddy, Dave Musgrove, to say he could take four putts and still win.

"No you can't," Musgrove barked. "I've had a bet on you to finish under par."

STEVE WILLIAMS & TIGER WOODS No words were needed for this exchange between caddy and player. Simply a grin and shake of the head that conveyed exactly what the entire world was thinking:

- ‘You Berk!’ The malicious joy was made all the funnier by the fact that it happened to Steve Williams in one of the most intense atmospheres on the planet. The Kiwi caddy was dipping a towel in a lake during the 2006 Ryder Cup, when he dropped the nineiron in his other hand. The colour drained as he looked at Tiger. Luckily, Tiger refrained from asking him to fetch it and still went on to beat Robert Karlsson 3 and 2.

PADDY BYRNE & PAUL LAWRIE Caddies and players often part company. It’s part of the game. It’s rare however, that a split causes as much domestic distress as when Paul Lawrie called time on his bagman Paddy Byrne at the Accenture World Match Play. Lawrie broke the news to Byrne 10 minutes before the second round of the event, though it wasn’t received as well as he would have wished and Byrne stormed off, leaving the Open champ with just 10 minutes to find a replacement. The abruptness of it all caused much concern to Byrne’s family back in Dubai, who immediately thought that something serious must have occurred.

"Lots of people have been asking my parents whether it was anything to do with drink or drugs and even the other players have asked me what went wrong,” said Byrne, forcing Lawrie to later clarify matters and make amends.

Byrne later revealed that it wasn’t Class A’s or moonshine, but bananas that caused the rift.

"It was a lot of stupid, niggling things,” he moaned “like there weren't enough bananas in the bag.”

BILLY FOSTER & SEVE BALLESTEROS As usual, Seve was in contention and, as usual, he had blazed his driver into trouble.

Serious trouble. He was five paces behind a wall eightfeet high, 120 metres from the green, and there were pine trees on the other side of the wall too. Needing a birdie to catch Barry Lane, the Fat Lady was just about to launch into a song, when Seve asked his caddie, Billy Foster, what he thought.

“What do you mean what

do I think? Chip it out, of course,” Billy replied.

“Billy we need a birdie,” he said.

“Yeah, but not even you can hit through concrete walls.”

That was Foster’s first mistake. Seve felt he could, took a club and shooed Billy away.

“I walked out onto the fairway to watch where the ball went. Then I looked in the bag, and the sand wedge was still there. My God, the man has the pitching wedge! By now I am convinced he is more likely to kill himself than get the thing over the wall.” Somehow Ballesteros lofted the ball over the wall, through the tree and just short of a greenside bunker about 70 feet from the hole. From there he chipped in for the birdie, but Lane still ran out the winner.

“No one, ever, would have contemplated the shot. If they had, it would have been dismissed as insanity, and the ball would have been chipped out on the fairway,” said Foster. A plaque now marks the spot!

MASON RUDOLPH & ARNOLD PALMER Mason Rudolph, a ‘60s tour pro was playing a tournament and playing well. He was two-under going in to 14, a short par-three with water and the pin near the edge of the lake. Mason’s caddie that day had carried Arnold Palmer’s bag the day before in a pro-am He asked his caddie for a club recommendation. The conversation went like this: Caddie: “A seven-iron.”

Mason: “You caddied for Palmer yesterday didn’t you?”

Caddie: “Yes Sir.” Mason: “What did he hit?”

Caddie: “An eight.”

Rudolph got jealous. He took an eight-iron and swung as hard as he could.

Catching the ball absolutely flush he followed the path of the ball as it sailed into the air straight at the pin. Then he watched in horror as the ball splashed into the water, a few feet short of the green.

Enraged he turned to the caddie, “I thought you said Palmer hit an eight iron?”

“Yes sir, he was in the water too.”

It’s Jason’s day at the PGA

Australian Jason Day won his first Major Championship following a superb final round of 67 to give him a deserved three shot victory over Jordan Spieth last Sunday in the USA PGA at Wisconsin. An emotional Day wept on the 72nd green as he waited to tap in for the par that would secure that long waited for victory. He had got so close recently with an incredible nine top 10s since 2010.

Day started the final round two shots clear of Spieth and never gave up the lead with seven birdies and some imperious shots throughout. Spieth of course was going for his third Major win of the season, but this runner-up finish caps an incredible year for the 21-year-old in the Majors with two wins and

two second places – making him the new world number one replacing Rory McIlroy.

Day said after his victory: - “It’s amazing to get the feeling of being a Major Champion”. Who knows that after that Wisconsin win, the doors may yet open for a few more big titles?

England’s Justin Rose finished in fourth place with a two-under-par 70, but he just couldn’t get the big run required to put the pressure on the leaders. Rory McIlroy finished off his comeback from injury with an impressive three under 69 to finish at nine under par and in 17th. He must be satisfied with his performance, given that a fortnight it was not clear whether he would be even playing in the tournament.

TITTER ON THE TEE KNOW YOUR RULES

A stranger walks into the clubhouse and asks the steward for a pint of beer. Now as the club had a very close knit membership and there were a group of them in the clubhouse and they were always suspicious of outsiders, they elected Jack (who was a farmer), to go and find out who it was.

Some minutes later after Jack had chatted to the stranger about the weather, he asked the man what his job was.

“I’m a taxidermist,” relied the man, “and I’ve really enjoyed spending time in these parts and thought I would enjoy a round of golf here. Yesterday I stuffed a prize winning sheep dog, and then I mounted Mrs Jones’s goat. After a round of golf I’m going to have a go at her old pig, before I depart.”

Jack returned to his friends who were dying to know what had been said. “It’s alright chaps” Jack replied to their questions, “I thought he said he was a taxi driver but in fact he is a shepherd on holiday.

QUESTION

A player putts on a very quick green and the ball rolls off the green towards a bunker. His caddie sees that the ball is about to hit the rake at the side of the bunker and, thinking quickly, manages to move it before the ball strikes it. Which of the following is correct? (a) There is no penalty (b) As the caddie moved the rake without the player's authorisation there is no penalty (c) The player is penalised two strokes

ANSWER C: The player is penalised two strokes - Rule 24.1

The Courier Sport

45

Friday 21st August 2015

ALL GO FOR LA VUELTA Map of The Tour Route

Barclays Premier League Saturday 22 August 13:45 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Manchester Utd v Newcastle Utd Crystal Palace v Aston Villa Leicester City v Tottenham Hotspur Norwich City v Stoke City Sunderland v Swansea City West Ham United v Bournemouth

Sunday 23 August 14:30 West Bromwich Albio v Chelsea 17:00 Everton v Manchester City 17:00 Watford v Southampton

Monday 24 August 21:00 Arsenal

v Liverpool

Sky Bet Championship Friday 21 August 21:45 Birmingham v Derby

Saturday 22 August 13:30 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 18:15

Leeds United v Sheffield Wednesday Bolton Wanderers v Nottingham Forest Brighton and Hove Albion v Blackburn Rovers Burnley v Brentford Charlton Athletic v Hull City Fulham v Huddersfield Town Middlesbrough v Bristol City Preston North End v Ipswich Town Queens Park Rangers v Rotherham United Reading v MK Dons Cardiff City v Wolverhampton Wanderers

Scottish Premiership Saturday 22 August 13:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 Double Tour de France winner, Britain’s Chris Froome, leads the field for the 70th staging of one of Spain’s biggest sporting event, La Veulta, which starts tomorrow (Saturday) in the Costa del Sol resort of Porto Banus, with a 7.4km time trial around the area. This year’s race will include a long flat time trial, something that the organiser Javier Guillén knew would appeal to Tour de France champion Chris Froome, who confirmed earlier this month that he would take part, with his inclusion being described by Guillén as the “icing on the cake”.

There’s plenty of local interest as well with a Costa Blanca stage setting off from Torrevieja on Sunday August 30th, with the cyclists finishing up in Murcia City the previous day.

The Vuelta is the season’s third Grand Tour, and while it might not hold quite the same prestige as the Tour de France, it often attracts a stellar field as riders look to drive out some final big results before the end of the year, as is clearly the case this year.

The route appears to favour the climbers, but the inclusion of a relatively long, flat time trial could see riders such as Nairo Quintana losing time to the likes of Chris Froome.

After the team trial in Porto Banus, the race will take in

eight summit finishes on the road to the Madrid fin-

ish three weeks later on Sunday September 13th, with the 39km individual time trial featuring in the third week. La Vuelta will also go through Andorra with a tough stage 11 just after the rest day that takes in six cate-

take the start in his home race, alongside teammate and Tour de France runnerup Quintana.

Chris Froome from Team Sky has had two good races in his only two outings in La Veulta finishing second to Contador last year, and fourth in his other race.

Joining Froome as his main support in the Team Sky line up will be Welshman Geraint Thomas (pictured in black alongside Froome at the Tour de France) and Ireland’s Nicolas Roche. It is the first

"I have great memories from this race so I’m pleased to be back. I’ve had a good rest after the Tour and now I’m ready for my next challenge," said Chris Froome, who is seeking to join an elite band of riders to win multiple Grand Tours in a season.

"It will certainly be a very competitive race given the strong field – which will be great for the fans to watch”.

Next week’s Courier will bring you a map of the Costa Blanca stage of La Veulta. along with the latest news

Dundee United v Celtic Aberdeen v Dundee Heart of Midlothian v Partick Thistle Inverness v Hamilton Academical Kilmarnock v Ross County St. Johnstone v Motherwell

Spanish La Liga Friday 21 August 20:30 Malaga v Sevilla

Saturday 22 August 18:30 18:30 20:30 22:30

Espanyol v Getafe Deportivo de La Coruña v Real Sociedad Atlético de Madrid v Las Palmas Rayo Vallecano v Valencia CF

Sunday 23 August 18:30 20:30 22:00 22:30

Athletic Club v Barcelona Sporting de Gijón v Real Madrid Levante v Celta de Vigo Real Betis v Villarreal

Monday 24 August 20:30 Granada CF v Eibar

Capital One Cup Tuesday 24 August

gorised climbs; including an especial category climb and a first category summit finish.

The disappointment for the Spanish fans though is that the defending champion Alberto Contador will not race in La Vuelta this year, having won the Giro d’Italia in May and finished fifth in the Tour de France in July. But fellow Spaniard Alejandro Valverde from the Movistar team will

time that Thomas will ride La Vuelta and it’s also the first time that he will take on two Grand Tours in a single season.

Thomas looked on course for a strong result at the Tour de France before he suffered a bad day in the final week that saw him tumble down the standings. Roche meanwhile has raced alongside Froome all season.

from the race. There’s extensive coverage on both UK and Spanish TV. British Eurosport has full live coverage whilst ITV4 will be transmitting a daily highlights show. There’s full coverage on TVE’s Teledeporte sports channel and TVE also has live streaming of the whole event via their website, www.rtve.es. La Vuelta is well and truly covered!

20:45 Aston Villa v Notts County 20:45 Barnsley v Everton 20:45 Birmingham v Gillingham 20:45 Burton Albion v Middlesbrough 20:45 Bury v Leicester City 20:45 Crystal Palace v Shrewsbury Town 20:45 Doncaster Rovers v Ipswich Town 20:45 Fulham v Sheff Utd 20:45 Hartlepool v Bournemouth 20:45 Hull City v Rochdale 20:45 Luton Town v Stoke City 20:45 MK Dons v Cardiff City 20:45 Newcastle United v Northampton Town 20:45 Peterborough United v Charlton Ath 20:45 Portsmouth v Reading 20:45 Preston North End v Watford 20:45 QPR v Carlisle United 20:45 Rotherham United v Norwich City 20:45 Sheff Wed v Oxford Utd 20:45 Sunderland v Exeter City 20:45 Swansea City v York City 20:45 Walsall v Brighton and Hove Albion 20:45 West Brom v Port Vale 20:45 Wolves v Barnet

46

The Courier Sport

Friday 21st August 2015

THE TEAM TO BEAT

Twenty teams led by champions Barcelona and their deadly rivals, Real Madrid, will take to the field this weekend for the start of the 2015/16 La Liga Primera Division season.

Most pundits are tipping a two horse race once again

despite the likes of Atletico Madrid and Valencia trying to do their best.

Sky Sports pundit Guillem Balague says on the Sky Sports website:“Barcelona still have unquestionably the best front three in the world.

There are lots of ifs. If they can be strong defending and effective upfront, if rotations work, if they are still hungry, if they look after the details, and if they get their minds right, then Barcelona are still going to be the team to beat.”

Over Real Madrid, Balague comments:-“If Real Madrid manage to keep winning, then everything should be hunky dory. If they don't, new manager Benitez will face a bumpy ride as he tries to keep the egos under a tight rein.

Their season will be defined by the Ronaldo-Bale scenario, and how Benitez handles it.”

The 2015-16 La Liga season gets going tonight(Friday) with a potentially close encounter

TORRY’S BIG KICK OFF

CD Torrevieja are hoping for a flying start to their new campaign at Ontinyent this Sunday morning against a team that has been active in the market during the summer in a bid to make it back to 2B at the second time of asking. Ontinyent made the play offs in the summer but lost to San Fernando in the first round ties. They were formerly managed by John Clarkson when in 2B, who himself nearly became the Torrevieja manager four years ago. Most observers expect both these sides to feature in the promotion matches at the end of this term, but that is pure conjecture and wishful thinking at this stage. Thirty eight tough contests lie ahead and getting points on the

table is the only consideration at this moment.

The only players certain to start for Torry will be being Oscar, Jorge and Vicente, all of whom were excellent last season.

Juanma may be hoping for the nod after the exHercules winger(pictured in blue for his former side) netted on his debut in the cup match versus Mar Menor(one-all on the fulltime whistle), as well as sinking his penalty with precision as Torry lifted the Costa Calida trophy last Saturday night in San Javier.

With question marks hanging over the fitness of Martin, expect to see new signing Quintero at the back alongside either Ricardo Cavas or new

recruit, 19 year old Croatian Matej Simic(pictured), who has made a big impression in his pre-season outings.

Adrian Banderas should slot into midfield with Brani and Luis Carlos on either flank. Eddy has claims to the left back shirt and Sanchez is most likely to start, given his reputation and increased recent fitness. That leaves probably Juanfran to lead the line, but if his toe infection continues to rule him out, then Carrasco will be the beneficiary ahead of 21 year old Briton, Lewis Allen.

Last year Torry defeated Ontinyent 2-0 at home and drew 2-2 with them in their Clariano stadium. Manager Pedreño has now completed his fine tuning and just needs to make sure he

After a summer of offfield heartbreak and administrative relegation, Elche begin life in the Segunda division this weekend at Ponferradina this Sunday evening. All the star players have gone, and former Valencia player, Rubén Baraja (pictured), became Elche's new man-

ager, with Fran Escriba having gone to Getafe, along with a couple of the club’s former players.

Baraja got a boost this week with the news that La Liga had given the Ilicitanos the go-ahead to increase their squad from 18 to 25 players, as debts continue to be sorted out.

FRIENDLY PERSUASION Cesc Fabregas apparently played a key role in helping Barcelona winger Pedro change his mind at the last minute to dump a move to Old Trafford, and instead link up with his friend and former team-mate at Chelsea for a 30 million euro fee. The personal connections went further as Pedro’s wife, Carolina, was also contacted by Fabregas’ girlfriend Daniella Semaan to tell her what a good place London was to live in! The late switch left red faces at Old Trafford with some sources also suggesting that

the 28 year old wasn’t impressed by the way that his ex-Barca colleague

Victor Valdes had been frozen out by United boss Louis van Gaal.

PEN TO PAPER

Sergio Ramos signed a

new five year deal with Real

Madrid on Monday that will keep him at the Bernabeu until 2020. The 29 year old Spanish international defender then said that he never wanted to quit Real Madrid, despite all the interest and a failed bid from Manchester United. "I know this renewal has taken a while but my heart and head have always been with Real Madrid so I couldn't be happier," said Ramos, in the presence of a very happy club president, Florentino Perez.

OTA SCOOP

selects the right combination to deliver the right results.

MATEO MOVES Real Madrid signed the Croatian international midfielder Mateo Kovacic on Tuesday from Inter Milan in a 35 million euro deal.

Kovacic, who was presented to fans on Wednesday, he began his career in his homeland with Dynamo Zagreb before moving to Inter Milan two years ago, where he scored eight goals in 97 appearances.

between between Malaga and Sevilla before finishing this Monday evening with Granada taking on Eibar, in a battle of the two clubs that survived the drop last season, Eibar of course by virtue of Elche’s relegation over their financial woes.

Barcelona begin their title defence on this Sunday at 6.30pm away to Athletic Bilbao who they know very well after losing the Spanish Supercup to them over two legs, with a four-nil drubbing in the first match last Friday, and then a one-all draw at the Nou Camp on Monday. Two hours later, Real Madrid kick off their match at Sporting Gijon. On the Saturday, Atletico Madrid take on new boys Las Palmas, whilst Valencia are away to Real Vallecano.

NEW START

Financial pressures at the Italian club forced the sale, with the Croatian linking up with international teammate Luka Modric at the Bernabeu.

His arrival will hot up the fierce competition for places in central midfield, given the presence of James Rodriguez, Toni Kroos and Isco.

Manchester City have signed defender Nicolas Otamendi from Valencia on a five-year deal worth £32m.

Beating off competition from neighbours Manchester United as well as Chelsea to sign the Argentinian international City will pay an initial £28.5m for the Argentina international, who was named in La Liga's 2014-15 team of the season and played in the Copa America final.

"To be here inside a club that looks so wonderful from the outside is a dream," said the 27-year-old ex-Porto

player.

Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini said:

"He's strong, he's excellent in the tackle and he's very good technically."

John McGregor on Sport

‘Come in, sit down, Mr Mourinho.’

‘I will stand, doctor. I don’t want to be here – ‘Then why are you?’

‘The Russian ruler Roman said I had to see you.’

‘I see. Have you seen your usual doctor?

‘No. I am very angry with her. She kept treating people –‘ ‘Isn’t that what she’s supposed to do?’

‘Only when I tell her to.

Anyway, I don’t want to discuss it, or I’m walking out. ‘ ‘Right. Now what exactly is the trouble?’

‘Trouble? It’s nothing. Zey say I am ‘losing ze plot’ - zat I am saying crazy things.’

‘Like what?’ ‘ Like when I say when my team is good, zey play well, the TV and paper people say ‘zey are crap’ - just because ze other teams are scoring more goals. We only lost three –nil on Sunday….’

‘Only?’

‘Yes, I said it was a ‘fake’ result. Now zey are shouting ‘Fake Off!’ at me, and others say ‘Yes, you faker, it should have been seven! Zen just because I take my uninjured captain off at half time when my others are bleeding and have bandages like your Basil Fawlty, zey cannot understand why I do it, stupid people…

‘Well, why did you do that?’

‘He is – I mean he was too slow, I needed a quicker one. But he is still my captain, he still had his armband on the bench. I tell you, he would have been finished by the uzzers years ago, before I came back.’

‘What else?’

‘Last week ze stupid referee – hey, don’t tell zem I said that, or zey will fine me again – he sent my goalkeeper off,

DOCTOR, DOCTOR

and you know what – my team were better wiz ten men than eleven! I make such good decisions you see - ’ ‘Are you ever wrong?’

‘Wrong? Of course not, are you stupid? I am ze ‘Special One’, I am always right.’ ‘’Have you always thought that?’

‘Yes, always. Last time, en Espana, zey called me ‘El Loco’, especially in Barcelona. But all ze Spanish are mad, anyway. I am Portuguese –‘ ‘But you are in England now. Do you ever apologise?’

‘Apologise? What for? To who? I told you, I am never wrong, so how can I apologise?’

‘Nobody is right all the time, Mr Mourinho – even you.’

‘Are you stupid? I am not a ‘specialist in failure’ like a Frenchman I know. I tell everyone zat. Do you agree?’

‘Well, no… Actually, I think you have deep-seated problems, Mr Mourinho – in your head.’

‘Me? You are the mad one! I am leaving, I will tell Abramovich he is wasting his money. What sort of doctor are you, anyway?’

‘I am a psychiatrist, Mr Mourinho…’

Sanity prevailing, even Chelsea supporters I know are worried about Jose’s state of mind.

The Portuguese is clearly out of control.

Following the Charity Shield defeat by Arsenal, the scraped draw at the Bridge against super Swansea, the “Doctorgate” fiasco, and finally the clear to (almost) all mauling on Sunday from Man City, it is Mourinho’s savage, deluded

The Latest Sport Headlines RUGBY UNION Former Wales captain Jones retires reactions to the crises of his own making which do him the most harm. His hasbeen defence with both Terry and Ivanovic suffering, is creaking and leaking goals: midfielders like Fabregas are so far out of form it hurts and the Blues once-feared strike force is non-existent. The facts show that in two Prem games Chelsea’s two goals were a lucky free kick and an own goal whilst conceding five, and their number one goalkeeper was sent off and banned.

Of all the players to be taken off at half-time on Sunday and with two key players injured, no-one – but no-one - could have predicted the master of manipulation would take off his fit captain and centre half when actually losing the game.

Instead changes should have been made upfront where Chelsea’s primary striker Diego Costa had clearly lost his bandaged head in hot pursuit of his tormenter, and is clearly ineffective and injury-prone at the moment. Why was Remy

MANE SWOOP

Manchester United have made a move for Sadio Mane after Pedro deal collapses. The Red Devils have made an inquiry regarding

47

Friday 21st August 2015

the availability of Southampton’s Sadio Mane.

United’s interest in Mane may partially explain United’s stalled move for Pedro.

However, the nature of United’s bid remains unclear but Louis van Gaal is a firm admirer of the player, who moved to Southampton last season summer for £10 million.

Mane scored 10 league goals in 31 appearances for the Saints last season. Mane is hardly the marquee signing many United fans will have expected. However, he already has a season in the Premier League under his belt. Furthermore, he was one of Southampton’s players of the season while producing a pretty handsome return of 10 goals.

At 24, he has plenty of potential and has pace in abundance. Louis van Gaal is said to want to add pace to his squad so this move makes logical sense.

Whether the Saints will sanction a sale is of course another matter altogether as finding a quick replacement will not be easy.

not brought on? As for Falcao, well… with 10 minutes on the field he offered nothing, exerting unfair pressure on himself and everyone else. His other sub, £23m Juan Cuadrado was nowhere, and hasn’t exactly been a success either in seven months.

Here’s a thought. Last time Mou was around West London back in 2006, Chelsea won the title and went out and bought Andiy Shevchenko for £30m. The Ukrainian was a disaster, a big expensive mistake where Russian ruler Roman Abramovich stuck his oar in with instructions Jose didn’t like and the beginning of the end between the two started. Now it’s crisis time at the Bridge: the panic buying has started as the Blues bought yet another full back, this time Ghanaian Baba Rahman from Augsburg, and then have just splashed out £21m for Barcelona’s unhappy winger Pedro(more opposite).With Messi, Neymar and Suarez around, striking opportunities are few at the mighty Nou Camp, but

Pedro is a real Catalan product of the youth system, and didn’t really want to leave his home city. Now then – apparently arsey Abramovich didn’t want either of the Manchester clubs to get the Spaniard although his manager does not feel he needs another winger/forward, what with Eden Hazard, Oscar, Willian, Victor Moses and Juan Cuadrado already in his squad. Hmm…does Pedro know he’s stepping into the lion’s den at Chelsea?

It would be very interesting to know what the oligarch is making of his manager’s latest antics, wouldn’t it? It would be a surprise if the stone-faced one endorsed the Portuguese’s recent behaviour and not be bewildered like the rest of us - including some of his most devoted and ardent supporters. I suppose it’s nothing a few billion roubles won’t sort out, Roman style. Good question: does anyone think Mourinho would be able to manage a club successfully on limited finances?

SAVE MY SPORT

TENNIS Murray beats Fish in Cincinnati ATHLETICS Bolt saddened by doping focus before Worlds ATHLETICS Keep blood data private - Radcliffe FOOTBALL Celtic deserved more, says manager Deila EUROPEAN FOOTBALL Michel appointed Marseille boss FOOTBALL Rooney insists 'the goals will come' FOOTBALL Newcastle sign French winger Thauvin FORMULA 1 Ferrari retain Raikkonen for 2016 FOOTBALL Chelsea agree deal for Barca's Pedro WALES Grey-Thompson tips Coe as future IOC president FOOTBALL Saints admit Man Utd Mane interest CRICKET Butt and Asif bans set to expire

Olympic and world sprint champion Usain Bolt has been saddened by the focus on doping in the run-up to the world championships but says even he cannot save the sport by himself. The governing International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) has spent the three weeks lead-

ing up to its showpiece event, which begins on Saturday, defending its record on doping after a string of embarrassing leaks.

Britain's Sebastian Coe was elected as new IAAF president on Wednesday and has promised to set up an independent anti-doping body for the sport.

AFRICA Pistorius' early release blocked FOOTBALL Bristol City snatch draw against Leeds

Supplied by BBC

48

Friday 21st August 2015

ATTEMPT TO WRAP UP SERIES WITH A 4TH WIN

Joe Root insists there is serious business left for England – despite sealing the Ashes with a match to spare. Not since the series of 1932-33 have an England team won four Tests aginst Australia – the only instance was when the old enemy fielded a second-string team in the World Series era of the late 70s.

E M A N E TH GAMEop Life at the T

Who’s the Prem’s leading goalscorer so far?

Aguero? Wrong. Kane?

You’re joking. Lukaku?

Nice try, but wrong again. It’s only Leicester City’s Algerian winger Riyad Mahrez with three goals in two games! OK,

looks another belter, but Tim Sherwood must start winning or the whispers will start – again.

Sunderland v Swansea: the swinging Swans have everything going for them and it’s just the opposite for Sunderland

you Fox fanatics, this Forest fan hasn’t forgotten your unbeaten two wins on the spin from your lively lads who on Saturday soon sorted out winning-at-Arsenal West Ham two-nil, to stay up with the leaders At that King stadium the Leicester lads are loving life at the top – but can they keep it up? A testing visit to White Hart Lane on Saturday will tell us a lot.

Norwich v Stoke looks interesting, Alex Neil’s Canaries are doing OK, the best of the newbies. Palace at home to Villa

where nothing is going right. Mrs Advocaat must wish she’d had her way and her hubby had walked away in May, having saved the Black Cats from relegation (again) and with his reputation intact. The Sunderland defence is in tatters with experienced old hands Wes Brown and J o h n O ’ S h e a gone, and t h e i r replacements all over the place.

FROOME QUESTIONS VUELTA ROUTE

Chris Froome and team-mate Nicholas Roche question the Costa del Sol route of Saturday’s opening team time-trial of the Vuelta a Espana. Froome posted pictures of a sand-covered section of the 7.4km from Porto Banus to Marbella which opens the Tour of Spain. (Full preview page 45).

STARTLING STATS! P U S ’ T A WH

?

O H N I R U O M

Who’s this? Played two; won nil; drawn one; lost one; goals for two, against five; and sent off, one! Aston Villa? No. Newcastle? No. Actually it’s champions Chelsea, and if a certain moody, morose manager doesn’t sort it out quickly, the unbelievable could happen, David Moyes-style. Yes, sure, Blues boys, only one nineteenth of the season has gone, but with a dangerous journey to The Hawthorns this Sunday, scene of one of last season’s few defeats, the storm clouds will be gathering in West London if the result goes badly for Mourinho’s men.

Actually West Brom, like Chelsea have very un-Pulis-like stats and also have only one point to their name.

The Manchester mafia are doing well: City and United have both won

their opening two fixtures - but there the resemblance ends. City look simply awesome with six thundering goals and no reply, whereas at Old Trafford the results appear efficient with a couple of one-nil wins. It has to be said though that currently Aston Villa and Spurs are by no means tests of the highest quality, as Louis van Gaal tinkers with his new team. The boring De Gea/Ramos saga appears over, albeit unsatisfactorily with everyone staying put, but that includes the muddle-headed Spanish keeper sitting on his backside, suited and booted, watching Romero between the posts. Early doors on Saturday, and keeping it modest opposition-wise, Newcastle come to Old Trafford. The Magpies’ new man-

ager Steve McLaren used to be assistant to the great Alex Ferguson, but the Toon Army have only one point from two games: must improve, and soon.

Similarly winning ugly with two unconvincing one-nil victories are Liverpool. The Reds season started with a revenge win at Stoke, followed by a cruel wake-up call for Bournemouth at Anfield. A blatantlyoffside-but-hugely-welcome opener from Benteke proved the winner as the Cherries had their hopefully-levelling goal ruled out for a foul. Luckless Bournemouth look initially like the Burnley of last season: spirited, gutsa-plenty, but you worry for them in the piranha-polluted Prem where every week the opposition is fierce.

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47