The Courier Edition 246 by TKO UK

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Friday6th 30th October 2015 Friday November

WELCOME TO NOVEMBER ALEX TRELINSKI

The Courier TV Pull-out The latest news from tele-land 6th Nov - 12th Nov

ale force winds of up to 85 kilometres ripped through the Vega Baja region last Sunday night and Monday morning leaving a trail of damage in its wake. Countless fallen trees, road signs, and advertising hoardings, in addition to power cuts and blocked roads hit the area but astonishingly nobody suffered any injury. Rainfall in some areas was around 100 litres per square metre over a 12 hour period. The AEMET weather station at Rojales clocked the largest official gust at 85 kms with Alicante-Elche airport recording 72 kms an hour, though unofficial reports put some gusts at over 120 kms in some of the windiest local weather for 20 years, with a tornado being reported in Torrevieja at 11.00am last Monday morning. Most of the Rojales area suffered power cuts at one time or another with Mayor, Antonio Perez, saying that at least 150 trees had been blown down in the winds. The roof of the local rifle club was ripped off, with the area around El Malecón park especially badly affected. A tree collapsed on Torrevieja’s Paseo de La Libertad (picture from the Informacion newspaper), amongst a whole quota of

WHATSON’S TV VIEWS

Starts page 19 This week, we say goodbye to two firm favourites, Lewis and Downton Abbey, but there´s also some great new shows lined up this week. Read all about them in our full seven-day TV guide starting on page 19, plus quizzes, puzzles, horoscopes and everyone´s favourite, Trelli on the Telly.

damaged structures, which included a dozen properties being affected in the Acequión beach area of the city. Emergency services got a stream of calls about fallen trees, billboards, and debris right across the region, whilst the usual flood spots appeared for motorists on Monday morning including problems around Los Montesinos, Algorfa and Benejúzar. The entry road to San Miguel’s Blue Lagoon urbanisation was blocked by a tree, and flooding was also

reported at the entrances to the industrial estates in Almoradi and Catral. Winds reached up to 68 kms in the Santa Pola area, with the famous Osborne bull off the N-332 being blown over (pictured) with Playa Lisa being flooded and a number of roads closed due to fallen trees. On the Orihuela Costa, the Playas de Orihuela college had to be closed as the mainly prefabricated structure suffered flooding with a tender for a replacement

structure having been advertised back in May. In Campoamor on the Orihuela costa, floods engulfed the La Glea beach area, whilst there was some flooding in La Zenia on Avenida de Las Palmeras, along with parts of Orihuela City and surrounding villages. The worst problems in the Murcia region were caused by flood water returning for the second time in less than five months to Los Nietos and the Mar de Cristal on the Mar Menor.

News

Friday 6th November 2015

Murder Charge

In Memorium

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Police have arrested a Romanian man on charges of killing his 42 year-oldgirlfriend in a derelict house in El Altet. Authorities got an emergency call on Sunday lunchtime with the man being detained and handed over for investigation by the Elche violence against women court. The 46 year old man called the police to tell them that his partner had been unconscious for a quarter of an

hour because she was drunk. Emergency services discovered on arrival that the dead woman had been repeatedly beaten, with her boyfriend admitting that he had hit her in the past. The homeless couple had been in the area for three weeks having previously squatted in Villena and Almansa. The accused killer appeared in court on Tuesday and was denied bail.

After a week-long search, divers have found the bodies of three airmen who went missing after their Spanish Air Force helicopter crashed over the Atlantic Ocean just over a fortnight ago off the northern African coast.

Defence Minister Pedro Morenés met with the families of the crew members to confirm their deaths last Thursday evening (October 29th). A judge certified that all three bodies were found inside the cockpit, after a divers'

inspection of the wreck 40 metres under the sea. Meanwhile hundreds of trainees at the air academy at Santiago de la Ribera held a special march last Friday in memory of the three pilots who lost their lives.

No Laughing Matter

Confusion reigned late on Saturday night when customers at a Los Alcazares area amusement arcade thought they were being visited by Halloween revellers but it ended up being a nasty trick with no treat as they were a bunch of robbers looking for what they could get. The late evening invasion happened close to the midnight hour at the Shamrock Casino arcade in the Las Velas shopping area at Los Narejos. Four men wearing masks similar to those in the “Scream” movie franchise barged into the premises the rules go against previ- and started to point guns at ous agreements and are a people playing the fruit restraint on free trade. machines. Initial laughter turned to

Taxi Row Murcia's Chamber of Commerce is taking legal action over restrictions to non-local taxi drivers operating out of Alicante-Elche airport at El Altet. The Chamber has been pressured by Murcia-based cabbies who are unhappy about the low quota of journeys that they are allowed to make the airport after Elche drivers successfully campaigned for changes claiming that they were being hit by out of town companies as well as pirate operators. The Chamber has filed a complaint to the Valencian Supreme Court saying that

Crime Busters Better co-ordination between the local Police, the Guardia Civil, and the National Police is helping to cut crime in the Rojales area, according to Alberto

Martínez, who chaired the latest Local Security Board meeting. Greater emphasis is to be given locally to tackle gender violence.

realisation that it was a real stick up with threats of violence and the robbers (said by differing sources to be either East European or Moroccan) actually carry-

ing out one of the two change machines in the area before escaping by car (with the machine in the back) in the direction of San Javier airport.

Live Long And Prosper Living in Alicante Province is good for you according to the latest figures from the Valencian

Statistics Institute. Research based on birth and death rates from two years ago suggest that life

expectancy is around 86 years for women and 81 for men in the Vega Baja region.

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News

Over 220 Years Each!

A vicious three man Algerian gang that committed 58 robberies in homes and businesses in the Vega Baja and Murcia regions in 2013 has been given a total of 670 years in jail by an Orihuela court, though in reality the guilty parties will only have to serve between five and six years behind bars. Prosecutors had initially called for a 900 year sentence for the three

robbers, who will then be deported on release. The men would loot bars, restaurants and homes across Almoradi, Orihuela, Elche, Albatera, Santomera, Rojales, Fortuna, and Torre Pacheco amongst a whole list of locations, and they showed no hesitation in threatening or using violence. In one incident at a bar on the Beniel road in Orihuela, they interrupted

a card game involving the customers, and used shotguns, handguns, knives and axes to intimidate and beat up their victims. Their spree started with a 10 thousand euro house robbery in Callosa de Segura in January 2013, which involved the head of the household being coshed and threatened before he opened and emptied out his office safe.

Fundraising Appeal The Courier is very proud to take part in The Appeal for Francis House. Please help raise money for her charity The Kirsty Club which set up a JustGiving page this week following the 20-year-old's death. A new fundraising drive has begun in memory of Kirsty Howard. Kirsty was given only weeks to live at the age of four, but she beat the odds

Friday 6th November 2015

and went on to become an inspirational fundraiser. Her charity The Kirsty Club set up a JustGiving page this morning to raise money to go towards the £4m-a-year running costs of Francis House children’s hospice in Didsbury. Kirsty, 20, was born with her heart back to front and died in the early hours of Saturday surrounded by her family. The hospice relied on

donations for its existence as only 16 per cent of its funding came from the British Government. David Beckham's heartfelt tribute to 'amazing' fundraiser Kirsty. 'It was an inspiration to meet such a brave young lady'. Anyone who wants to donate can go to the JustGiving website and by text in the UK, visit: www.justgiving.com/Kirsty Club/

Back Behind Bars

A 53-year-old builder, Marc Paul C.C., has been given a 10 year jail sentence for killing a 52-yearold Belgian woman in Torrevieja in April 2007, after a retrial ordered by the Valencia Supreme Court, which saw the accused released on bail The events go back to 2007, when Marc Paul C.C (pictured in 2010) was accused of beating Bernadette Lepiece to death over a financial dispute after he had done work on her property on the Becisa urbanisation. The builder hit her in the head with the club, which he took from his bag of tools, until she died. In the same trial, Marc's son was acquitted, who witnessed part of the events before running away “terrorised”. The victim had denounced the man over threats he had made to her just a month before she died.

Child drowns, another missing in migrant boat sinking in Greece. Workers trapped in collapsed Pakistan factory plead for help on mobile phones.

The Supreme Court said that the original hearing in 2013 deprived the accused of effective counsel, as well as jury rules not being adhered to. Marc Paul C.C’s defence lawyer, Mariana Ivanov, said last Monday that a deal had been struck with prosecutors for her client to serve out a ten year jail term for manslaughter, with an Elche jury confirming his guilt.

New Look Beach

Improvements to Torrevieja’s Acequión beach area have been confirmed with work being done along Avenida de Gregorio Marañón with the building of a walkway along the beach front. Torrevieja Mayor, Jose

Manuel Dolon, says that precise details will be published with local residents consulted in a plan that has been on the books for the last few years, with funding from desalination plant owners, Acuamed.

More The Merrier

UK planning emergency measures to evacuate Egypt tourists. Iranian president criticizes recent arrests of journalists. Renewable energy supply to double in major economies by 2030. North Korea to offer flight tours over capital in Soviet-era helicopter. Greek refugee island running out of space to bury the dead. Maldives faces international pressure to lift emergency. Toyota quarterly profit rises to $5 billion on weak yen. Mexico's top court blocks move to plant genetically modified soya. Mexico Supreme Court takes step toward recreational pot use.

Valencian Tourist Agency president, Francesc Colomer, has been flying the flag for the Costa Blanca in London this week at the city’s World Travel Market event. Colomer met with Spanish Embassy tourist representatives and held talks with leading air operators like British Airways and Jet2, as well as rubbing shoulders with leading tourist industry professionals in moves to boost the area’s already growing tourist trade. Meanwhile, the President of Hosbec (The Costa

Blanca Hoteliers Association), Antoni Mayor (pictured right with Visit Benidorm’s Leire Bilbao talking to a Thomas Cook representative at the event) has predicted even bigger growth figures for the dominant British market for this winter and summer. Mayor, who also had talks with Jet2 and Thomson bosses, said that winter visitors were set for a nine percent rise, and that the figures would be even higher for UK tourists over the whole year if there were more flights put on.

Romanian PM quits over club blaze, but protesters unsatisfied. Colombia court lets same-sex couples adopt children. Mexican police find cocaine in luggage on air ambulance. France ends law banning blood donation from gay men. U.S. government approves Italy's request to arm its drones.

Line Death A 25-year old man died after a train struck him as he was walking along the rail track between Callosa de Segura and Redován last Sunday afternoon. The Guardia Civil said that the Redován resident was listening to music on his headphones and would not have heard the train approaching until it was too late.

Catral Victory The long-running saga of Catral’s abandoned Hotel Villa de Catral is over with judges ruling that the structure should return to the municipality after being in the hands of the receivers. That followed the management company going bankrupt with the decaying and dangerous state of the building causing grave local cause for concern. It's been looted a number of times and set fire to, with the council now planning to knock the hotel down.

Bus App Costa Azul bus passengers in Torrevieja will soon be able to find out how services are running and how long they have to wait for the next bus as Sat Nav technology is being introduced which will allow people to download the latest arrival and departure details via an app for their mobile phone. The company says that it hopes to get everything up and running by the end of the year.

Property On The Rise Spanish property prices are continuing to climb according to the latest Eurostat survey, putting the country just behind Austria and Cyprus in the league table for the biggest increases this year. Spain's property prices went up four point one percent in the second quarter of 2015 compared to the same period of 2014. Other Eurozone countries registered growth of one point one percent on average, and two point three percent across the European Union. Eurostat revealed property prices in Cyprus grew by seven point four percent while Austria showed a hike of six point four percent.

News

Friday 6th November 2015

Sign Of The Times

The perk of having a company car is being scrapped by Spain's BBVA

bank with only the company president and CEO allowed to have one with a chauffeur in the future. The move to strip board members of their cars, which some used to take their kids to school, has not gone down well with some of the company's executives. But unlike Bankia, which auctioned off the Audi A8s of top bosses Miguel Blesa and Rodrigo Rato, BBVA's BMWs are being kept in garages and available on request strictly for professional use.

Risky Strategy

Hard Lesson Spain's schools could have a secular flavour about them if the PSOE's Pedro Sanchez becomes Prime Minister in December's general election. The socialist leader has pledged to pull religious lessons from both

public and private schools, allowing religious education to be only taught as extra-curricular activities outside of school hours. He claims that religion 'should no longer be forced upon children's schooling'. Sanchez's proposal is

just a way of stirring up problems," according to Spanish Catholic Bishop spokesman, Father Jose Maria Gil, who said. "Sanchez needs to keep in mind that most people in country, the people voting for him, are Catholics."

Home Tragedy Public prosecutors are calling for nine year jail terms for a 70-year-old Guardamar man and his 40year-old son who used their motorboat back in January to try to smuggle in 465 kilos of cocaine into Pilar de la Horadada. They also face

heavy fines due to the drugs having a black-market value of around 16 million euro. The men were at the end of a smuggling ring that involved shipping the drugs in from North Africa, with others facing charges as well.

Clean Break Jeff Wiszniewski has resigned as President of San Fulgencio's independent PIPN party, just a fortnight after standing down from San Fulgencio council. Party secretary, Samantha Hull, will take temporary charge. The PIPN were in a ruling coalition with the Partido Popular, until the PP gained an overall majority in last May's elections.

Roof Revolt

Students at San Pedro del Pinatar's biggest school, the Manuel Tárraga Escribano institute went on strike last week over the poor state of the building's roof. The action, backed by the parents-teachers association, is in protest over the 38-year old roof, which

leaks every time there's a significant downpour. There's also concern over the use of asbestos material in the corrugated structure. Murcia's Ministry of Education has responded by saying that there's nothing wrong with the materials used in the roof, which they say has a 40-year-life.

A river in north-eastern Spain swelled by torrential downpours overflowed its banks last Tuesday morning, flooding a nursing home and killing four elderly residents. Five residents were rescued and hospitalised

after the water engulfed the ground floor of the building next to the Sio River in the town of Agramunt, about 90 minutes' drive inland from Barcelona. Agramunt Mayor, Xavier Secanell said that the nurs-

ing home flooded in an inundation that put much of the town under water in less than 30 minutes before dawn. He said it didn't rain in Agramunt but that the river was swollen by rain that fell upstream.

United Front Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has said that Spain's main political parties have reached an agreement to defend national unity as an independence drive in the region of Catalunya gets into higher gear. "The fundamentals of the agreement are done," he told a news conference after meeting opposition leaders to build a united response to a plan from Catalunya's ruling separatists to launch a process that would lead to full independence from Spain within 18 months. "We are all in agreement on the unity of Spain, we all agree on national sovereignty, we are all in agreement that laws must be respected, we are all in agreement that all Spaniards are equal," he added. Rajoy, criticised within

his own Partido Popular for not doing enough to block the separatists, met the leader of new far-left party Podemos, Pablo Iglesias for the first time (pictured together), as well as the head of centre-right party Ciudadanos, Albert Rivera, in addition to the head of the main opposition PSOE socialists, Pedro Sanchez.. Rivera said after his talks

with Rajoy that he had proposed a "national pact" against Catalan separatism that would see all major parties agree to defend the country's unity at the expense of division. “The idea is that Spaniards know that whatever parliamentary majority emerges (after the general election), Spain will not be in play," Rivera added.

News

Friday 6th November 2015

Flying High Irish low-cost carrier, Ryanair, has this week announced a half year profit of €1.4 billion for the six months to the end of September. That figure includes a one-off gain of €317m from selling its stake in Aer Lingus to IAG, who have British Airways and Iberia under their wing. Ryanair said it carried 58 million passengers over the first six months of the year, representing a 13 percent rise in traffic. In July, Ryanair became the first EU airline to carry more than 10 million passengers in a single month, and the carrier says that it expects growth in its traffic to continue. The airline

previously said it expected to carry 104 million passengers this year, and it has now upgraded that forecast to 105 million. "We have enjoyed a bumper summer due to a very rare confluence of favourable events includ-

Mystery Continues

The Guardia Civil have finished their operation in Santa Pola to see if the remains of a 19-year-old woman who went missing in 1991 were in a deep septic well at the Catarra barranco, some 200 metres away from where Remedios Ludeña Gea

lived in the Calvario area of the town. Information led the Guardia to investigate the dangerous well with contractors being brought in to help make the hole safe to see if any remains were down there. Nothing was found and the hole has now been filled with gravel.

Ape Find Scientists have announced the discovery in Catalunya of fossil remains of a small, fruiteating female ape that lived 11.6 million years ago in Spain, in a warm, wet forested region with animals that included rhinos and sabretoothed predators. The head of the extinct ape Pilobates cataloniae can be seen in this reconstruction illustration by the Catalan Institute of Paleontology, based near Barcelona. The well-preserved partial skull and skeleton of the gibbon-like creature is shedding new light on the evolutionary history of modern apes.

ing stronger sterling, adverse weather in northern Europe, reasonably flat industry capacity and further savings on our unhedged fuel," commented Ryanair's Chief Executive Michael O'Leary.

Top Ten Meet The British Consul for the Alicante region, SarahJane Morris, has met with EU residents councillors from across the region to look at offering greater support for British people living in the area. The councillors said that expat British residents are far more likely to get involved in the community as volunteers as opposed to their Spanish counterparts, but emphasised once again the points made at a recent Top Ten Town meeting in Alicante that more need to learn to speak Spanish and to be registered on the local padron. "Getting the councillors together has been really beneficial”, said Morris. “We have both looked at how to better support British nationals by working together, and learnt from each other and shared ideas. We want to ensure British nationals and English speaking charities get the best possible support from their town halls." The councillors represented the top ten towns in terms of British resident numbers in the Alicante consular district, as well as other smaller towns with a high percentage of British nationals on the padron.

More On Dole Spain's unemployment figures have gone up for a third straight month in October to 4.18 million, according to the Spanish government. The month-on-month rise in registered jobless numbers was 82,327. The employment ministry said however, that "unemployment always rises in October" as seasonal summer work drops off. Joblessness began to rise again in August, after six straight falls, owing to a drop off in opportunities in areas such as tourism, fishing and agriculture. The returns for Alicante Province showed that just under 187 thousand people were signing on the dole in October, a rise of 282 on September’s figures. Just over 131 thousand people were registered as unemployed in the Murcia region last month, a rise of over one thousand. Both the rates of increase for Alicante and Murcia for October were lower compared to the same period over the last few years.

Sniffed Out A dog from Alicante Police’s Canine Unit found another drug trafficker at Alicante City bus station when a 60-year-old man arrived on a coach from Murcia. The dog smelt out that the man had half a kilo of marijuana on him in a couple of boxes and also a sealed bag of flour.

Many Helped

Over 27 thousand families were helped by the catholic charity, Caritas, in Alicante Province last year. Caritas helps provide food to the needy, and says that things have been marginally better so far in 2015, compared to 2014, especially during the summer. The organisation says that there has been a shift in emphasis compared to previous years which saw immigrants to Spain seeking help until they could find employment, but nowadays Caritas is offering assistance to more Spaniards.

Doorstep Chat A newly formed political party in Los Montesinos say that they'll stage a weekly surgery for constituents outside the Town Hall because the ruling PSOE council is refusing them a room in the building which they claim they have a legal right to have. Table and chairs will be placed outside the Town Hall by the AIMS independent party for their two councillors to meet local people, with party leader Maria Paredes saying that the "action of the Mayor, José Manuel Butron, is not within the law".

Helpful Brits A British couple found an 81-year-old man who went missing in the Fortuna area and took him home to look after him, before calling the authorities. His family reported his disappearance with civil defence volunteers and the police launching a search between Fortuna and Los Banos. The unnamed British couple spotted the man lying on the ground but conscious, and they called the Guardia Civil after tending to him at their house. He was taken by ambulance to the local medical centre where he was reported to be in reasonable health.

News

Friday 6th November 2015

Bad Vision A faulty substance used in eye operations has cost 13 Spaniards their sight in one eye and left 28 other patients also suffering injuries. Government medical agency AEMPS said in a statement that it was "aware of 41 cases of people affected by usage of the surgical product Ala Octa, which was recalled by the Spanish health ministry in June and is suspected of causing loss of vision in several people". The agency said there had been 13 confirmed cases of

patients being completely blinded in the eye that was being operated on using Ala Octa, which is made by German company Alamedics. Other complications included damage to retinal tissue and the optic nerve, inflammations and a loss of sharpness of vision. The 41 cases were reported at 11 health facilities in Spain, primarily in the Basque region on the French border, while Alamedics has pointed to a further case in Italy.

Guilty As Charged

Rubbish Rejected

Residents groups got what they wanted from the recent full meeting of San Miguel de Salinas council which unanimously rejected any notion of a major waste disposal and transfer plant being built in the

municipality. The San Miguel Arcángel Residents Association welcomed the rare sight of political unity which made it clear that area did not want to host a facility that would serve the Vega Baja region.

Terror Swoop

A court has convicted a couple of drugging and suffocating their 12-yearold adopted Chinese daughter, in one of the most notorious cases seen in Spain for years. Rosario Porto, a former lawyer, and her ex-husband, journalist Alfonso Basterra, had been accused of periodically drugging their daughter Asunta Yong Fang Basterra Porto with the sedative Orfidal for three months and finally asphyxiating her in September 2013. The child’s body was found in a wood near

north-western city of Santiago de Compostela. A jury unanimously found the pair guilty of murdering Asunta, who they had adopted as a baby, after a month-long trial in which they had insisted their innocence. They could face up to 20 years in jail. “They were found guilty of murder” said a court statement. “The jury judged that the victim would not have been able to defend herself and refused to acquit the two accused.”

More than a hundred witnesses and experts had been called to testify during the high-profile trial with jury deliberating for five days. Prosecutors charged that the murder had been planned by both parents, but carried out by the mother. During the trial Porto told the court that she had been suffering from depression that year and had herself been taking Orfidal. At the time of the girl’s death, the couple were separated but were raising their adopted daughter together.

Lloyd Leaves British Vice-Consul for the Alicante region, Lloyd Milen, is leaving for pastures new after seven years in the position. Milen has been appointed as Consul-General in Barcelona and the Consular Regional Manager for north-east Spain, which includes the Balearic Islands. Milen will take up his position next month and will

be missed by all of those who have worked with him. Simon Manley, British Ambassador, said: “Lloyd has been a fantastic asset to British tourists and residents in the Alicante region for the last seven years. I have no doubt that we will be able to recruit a talented person to replace him as Vice Consul in Alicante, in order to carry on our valuable work in the area.”

Taxing Time Three Moroccans with suspected links to the Islamic State group were arrested on Tuesday in Madrid by authorities who said they acted quickly to detain them because of fears the suspects were preparing to carry out an attack in Spain similar to recent attacks elsewhere in Europe. The three men with Spanish residency between the ages of 26 and 29 were taken into

custody in pre-dawn raids in Madrid and a suburb of the capital, the Interior Ministry said in a statement. The ministry didn't say whether the three had picked out a target or whether weapons were seized, but characterized the three as maximum risk suspects who were "extremely radicalized" and said authorities "had detected their full willingness to take action and carry out terrorist attack

Capital Cuisine Local artichokes hit Madrid last week with special demonstrations and promotions at the annual Fruit Attraction fair. The Vega Baja Artichoke

Association was strongly represented at the event with a special artichoke cooking presentation featuring food scientist Ascensión Molina.

Barcelona defender Javier Mascherano has admitted that he did not properly pay his taxes in Spain after moving from Liverpool. The Argentine player told a Barcelona court that he failed to pay nearly €1.5 million in taxes owed for 2011 and 2012. Mascherano, who has

played for Barcelona since 2010, was accused by Spain's tax office of concealing part of what he earned in image rights during those two years. The court's press office said the player has already paid back the amount he owed. With Mascherano's admission, prosecutors

and the player's lawyers are expected to reach a deal to keep the case from going to trial. Mascherano spent only a few minutes in court and was not questioned by prosecutors. His team-mate Lionel Messi faces a court date with his father over tax fraud allegations.

Dave Silver

Friday 6th November 2015

The Dippy Day I Went Off My Trolley

WHY am I getting adverts on my Facebook page for products and aids concerning hearing loss and male incontinence? 'I'm saying nothing,' said Mrs S the other day. But her saying nothing actually said everything. 'I might be falling apart physically but I'm not quite that far gone yet,' I countered. 'It wasn't that long ago that I could almost pass as a male model.' Mrs S guffawed. 'Yes, but a male model what?' she asked. 'Maybe a male model Frankenstein. That's what.' 'You're not as clever as you think you are,' I retorted. 'Frankenstein was NOT the name of the monster. It was the name of the medical student who made the creature.' Mrs S shrugged. 'At least

my supposedly inferior brain reliably informs me that BOTH Mr Frankenstein and the monster he created were the product of a woman's mind, namely Mary Shelley who wrote the story.' Realising I was on shaky ground, I clutched at a literary straw. 'But a male writer, Bram Stoker, created that other fiend, Count Dracula, and I bet that the scary Transylvanian vampire could beat Frankenstein's monster in a fight any day. I can see the headline now: Count puts challenger out for the count.' I laughed uproariously at my own witticism but then Mrs S crossed the line. She had the temerity to suggest that verbalising the notion of two unrelated fictional characters engaging in fisticuffs was a typical idi-

otic comment from Dave Silver in his prime. 'How insulting is that?' I said. 'I take great pride in being in my prime with its attendant mental vigour. What I said about a Dracula v Frankenstein's monster boxing match was not a piece of nonsense but a clever allegory on the battle between the sexes as in Mary Shelley versus Bram Stoker. 'Without wanting to sound melodramatic,' I said melodramatically, 'you, my adorable wife, have stabbed me in the back with the dagger of disrespect. I hope you get my point as surely as I have just got yours -- right between the shoulder blades.' I stormed from the kitchen where we had hitherto been enjoying a nice cup of tea

with some chocolate chip biccies until I had brought up the subject of my Facebook page. Mrs S followed me into the living room. 'But I never referred to you as Dave Silver in his prime. I actually said Dave Silver in his PRAM.' There was a long, long pause while Mrs S's words sank in. 'Maybe I should have my ears syringed,' I mumbled shamefacedly. But then Mrs S's words sank even deeper into my sensitive brain. 'So you're actually saying that I'm behaving like a baby?' I spluttered. 'That's even worse than what I first thought you said. I am stabbed yet again.' 'Oh, stop being so childish!' said Mrs S. 'Just remove the thumb from your mouth and stop sulking.' 'Shan't,' I said, shaking my head furiously. 'Didn't I ever tell you that I've not been the same since I was tipped out of my trolley onto my head when my older brother and his mates and their younger siblings acted out the chariot race from Ben Hur. 'And let me tell you,' I told Mrs S, 'that it was no fun being bounced around the cobbled streets of Manchester at speed. And that was before I was tipped out onto my tender young bonce.'

Mrs S stared hard at me. 'But the Ben Hur film came out in 1959. You'd have been around teenage then and would have hardly fitted into a trolley.' I shrugged. 'Well, maybe the lads were acting out the original silent 1925 version of Ben Hur -- although I certainly wasn't silent when I landed on my head.' 'How on earth can YOU reminisce about the year 1925?' queried an incredulous Mrs S. 'That makes no sense unless I am currently married to a 90-year-old pygmy who was pushed around in a trolley by his taller brother who was a movie fan even before The Talkies came in.' I sighed in response. 'Nothing seems to make sense any more.' 'All I can say,' Mrs S said, 'is that while many toddlers took a trolley tumble onto the pavement, you clearly were thrown at a wall!' Still smarting over Mrs S challenging my film knowledge, I said: 'You should be flattered that I asked you to accompany me to the pictures back in the old days. I could have invited plenty of other ladies, you know.' Mrs S nodded in agreement. 'Yes, I was indeed happy to go with you to the cinema. That's because you were once vigorous, animated and sparkling. But look at

the state of you now -crotchety, touchy and cantankerous. Who'd want to sit with you these days, even in the dark?' Before Mrs S could add that she was only joking (the woman does have a weird sense of humour), I left my nice cup of tea to go cold and my chocolate chip biccies to harden and crumble, and went out for a (hopefully) invigorating walk. Sure enough, within 100 yards I could feel my usually undisturbed endorphin hormones being released and I began to feel much more cheerful and, yes, a lot younger . . . until I stopped off at our local bakery. 'Good news,' announced the shop assistant. 'It's Tuesday-only pensioner's rate for an individual strawberry tart. That means a whole 11p off.' My disappointment that the bakery lady had assumed (well, had plainly observed) that I was in my later years turned slowly to anticipatory satisfaction as I realised that, whatever the cost of a strawberry tart, it would be worth every penny just to see the look of pure surprised joy on Mrs S's face when I presented her with her favourite confection. Yes, I might be a grumpy old grandpa but I still knew how to please a woman.

Xmas No Luck Of The Irish Contest

A top class Christmas lights and decoration display could make you a winner on the Orihuela Costa and Entre Naranjos urbanisation in a new competition for nonSpaniards launched by Orihuela council The contest has seven different categories in an initiative to help integrate international residents further within the community. Entries have to be received by December 7th, and residents can register by e-mailing residentes@orihuela.es or by calling 966 766 075.

Wrong Track Madrid police are looking for a teenage cyclist after he ended up on the city's Metro train tracks after a stunt on a platform went wrong. The boy was riding on a bike from Bici Madrid, the city's shared public bike scheme, with a You Tube video showing him rounding a corner onto the platform of Avenida de la Paz station, skidding as he neared the platform edge. He managed to stay upright, though, and continued down the platform but couldn't brake in time as he continued his stunt and toppled onto the track. The boy was reportedly pulled from the tracks by his friend, who was recording the video before the next train arrived. They ditched the bike and got on the train.

News

Friday 6th November 2015

The Guardia Civil have arrested a 41-year-old Irish woman who had more than 18 kilos of hashish packed into her suitcase whilst travelling to the southern port of Algeciras by coach. The 41-

year-old from Estepona was caught during traffic checks off the A4 motorway in Almuradiel close to Madrid, and was refused bail when she later appeared in front of a judge.

Answers Wanted

Stateside Cheers

Foreign wine drinkers can't get enough of the Valencia region's wines with sales up by 35 percent on the first eight months of 2015, compared to 2014. Experts say that one of the big growth areas is America, with a massive 125 percent rise in sales to the States,

with a quarter of Alicante area bottles heading across the Atlantic. Monastrell wines from the Vinalopó region are leading the way in boosting sales from the Alicante area. China is said to be the next big new market that local winemakers are looking to exploit.

Karim Quiz Real Madrid football star Karim Benzema has admitted involvement in an alleged sex tape blackmail plot against fellow France international Mathieu Valbuena. Benzema striker was arrested by judicial police in

Versailles, west of Paris, on Wednesday. However, the 27-year-old footballer, who was held in custody and appeared before a judge yesterday, has claimed he himself was a victim of blackmailers, according to a source.

A family has hit out at claims that a British dadof-two hung himself at Benidorm’s National Police station after assaulting his partner. Abbott, 36, was on holiday with Catherine Corless and their children when he was arrested at his hotel after Corless filed an assault report. As reported in The Courier last week, the National Police have said he was arrested for assaulting his partner of nine years, Corless, who called them in from the Hotel Palm Beach , with

officers finding Abbott hanging in his cell within an hour of being taken into custody. But Abbott’s family, from Bolton, Greater Manchester, has denied the allegations of assault and say the death is ‘suspicious’ after he was found with bruises on his head. Kevin Wallbank, Miss Corless’ uncle, told the Bolton News : “The death certificate states his death is considered as suicide, but we do not believe that and we are going to challenge that through English

speaking Spanish solicitors over there.” “Knowing Tony as I do he can be a bit hot headed and the Spanish police have a zero tolerance policy,” added Mr Wallbank. “Catherine was initially stopped at the door of the police station by officers holding guns and was pushed away, it was so intimidating for her but she was eventually allowed in the police station with a representative from the British Consulate when she went to collect his belongings the next day.”

Burglars Bagged

Bus Farce

Up In The Air

A lorry skidded off the AP7 and ended up straddling the central reservation on Wednesday morning between Aspe and Elche. The lorry’s cabin ended up being suspended between the two separating carriageway walls, but fortunately there were only minor injuries for the driver and his passenger.

Santa Pola’s troubled new bus station could close in the middle of next week if the developer doesn’t submit plans to reduce the amount of noise to the council. The authority says

they will have no hesitation in shutting down the facility, which saw its opening delayed due to access issues and bus operators saying they were unhappy at using it.

A nine-strong East European burglary gang based in Torrevieja have been rounded up by the National Police after a two month operation to track them down. The seven men and two men of Romanian

and Bulgarian nationality aged between 19 and 35 were also involved in cloning credit cards and producing fake documents. Three homes in Torrevieja and one in Callosa de Segura were robbed recently with the

police recovering four thousand euros from their raids as well as a whole host items including jewellery, cameras, computers, and television in addition to credit cards. A Torrevieja judge refused bail for six of the gang members.

News

Friday 6th November 2015

Rocket Riddle

Winter Driving Tips PREPARING YOUR CAR FOR WINTER Winter weather in Spain can vary from year to year and snowfall on the south coast is unlikely. However, if your car is parked outside during the worst of the winter months, or you’re planning to visit the interior or venture north, there are some simple steps you can take to prepare your car for winter. PROTECTING AGAINST ICE AND FROST Lights, heaters and wipers put high demands on the car battery and they have to work harder in colder weather. If your battery is over 5 years old it may be time to shop around for a replacement. Top up your windscreen wash with a more concentrated mix of antifreeze. Give locks and mechanisms a spray with WD40. Cleaning and waxing your car will give the bodywork a coat of protection against temperature extremes.

The Guardia Civil’s bomb disposal squad has dealt with what may be part of a space rocket that was discovered in a field in Mula, in Murcia. There were initial fears

that it might contain radioactive material but the GEDEX unit gave it the all clear, leaving an unsolved mystery of how it got there in the first place, with no fingerprints

Kebab Busters 25 people, including two based in Alicante, have been arrested smuggling Pakistani nationals into the country to work in restaurants and takeaways across Spain. Many of the illegal workers were forced to work in kebab houses with little or no pay as well as any time off, or holidays, as they were used by their “employers” to help scam social security claims and residence documents.

being detected. Once it was declared harmless, the object was removed and stored in case any space organisation which noticed it missing, decides to reclaim it.

Accused

Torrevieja prosecutors are investigating allegations of mismanagement and forgery by the previous Partido Popular administration involving local employment workshops, with a focus on the La Laguna workshop, which is set to start work on a number of projects including one in the La Mata area. Torrevieja Mayor Jose Manuel Dolon made the allegation but would not go into any further details at news conference yesterday.

BEING PREPARED Make sure you have a phone charger in the car should you need to call for assistance. In the event you get stranded, there are some items that will make a difference; carry some blankets, a folding shovel, jump leads, tow-bar and tow rope. If colder weather is forecast, make sure you have a full tank of fuel, as you may need to keep the engine running to stay warm until help arrives. Check your insurance policy covers you for emergency breakdown and recovery. Línea Directa provides for Road Assistance in their car insurance policies. This ensures that you receive immediate assistance by phone 24 hours a day. Our breakdown service will endeavour to get your car back on the road as soon as possible or tow your vehicle to your local repairer of choice in Spain. ROAD SAFETY During the winter, driving conditions can become challenging. Winter tyres or cold weather tyres mean shorter stopping distances, reduce aquaplaning and improve handling. If you haven’t changed to winter treads, road safety experts recommend 3mm of tyre depth as a minimum for winter driving. WINTER DRIVING Breakdowns are more common in winter. The number of breakdowns can increase dramatically during extreme conditions. For safe trouble-free driving we recommend gentle manoeuvres, as stopping distances are ten times longer in snow and ice. To avoid wheel spin, pull away in second gear, easing your foot gently off the clutch. Maintain a constant speed where possible, if you need to break, then apply them gently and progressively. Leave plenty of room between you and the car in front. If you get stuck, straighten the steering and clear any excess build up of snow from the wheels. You can get additional grip by putting a sack or old rug in front of the driving wheels. Once your car is moving, maintain a constant speed, avoiding rapid acceleration or deceleration and try not to stop until you reach firmer ground. We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Línea Directa please call 902-123-182 More information on Línea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

Friday 6th November 2015

Top Voices A sell-out concert featuring the local debut of the Benidorm-based Il Divo trio helped raise the big sum of 505 euro for Age Concern

Funday Funds

Costa Sur’s “Buy a Bus” fund. Last month’s event was staged at the Los Rosales Restaurant in Guardamar.

Moon Watch

How do you fancy watching Earth’s closest companion with a group of like-minded people who enjoy a bit of planet and star-gazing? The Vega Baja Astronomy Group is staging on a special Moon Watch on Thursday November 19th between 7.00pm and

9.00pm at Guardamar’s El Raso Urbanisation (off the Lemon Tree Road on the CV895). Just take the dual carriageway right to the end of the Urb, and also keep your fingers crossed for some decent weather for a good observing session!

Lunching Ladies Do you fancy making friends with a spot of lunch and raising money for some great causes at home and abroad? Ladies who Lunch is a Quesada-based ladies lunch group, who meet in a different restaurant on the first Wednesday of every

month. In July, 500 euro was raised for the Nepal crisis appeal and in September the same amount was donated to the needy in Benijofar. For details of the group, call Janine Williams on 966 261 359 or 677 165 462.

Samaritans in Spain have a brand-new supporters group whose aim is to raise money to keep the vital work of the charity going. Friends of the Samaritans in Spain is run by Kim Taylor from Los Montesinos, and they recently raised over one thousand euros at a Fun

Day in Bar Dominos in Torrevieja, with Kim handing over the cheque to the Samaritans centre in Punta Marina. The Friends group meets every Monday at Bar Spangles in Los Montesinos, with a weekly bingo session that starts at 1.30pm.

Rojales Pantomime Group get ready to put Humpty Dumpty back together again between January 14th and 16th at the Los Montesinos Music School. Even at this stage, with rehearsals in full swing at Quesada’s cultural centre on Mondays and Thursdays, the group are after even more members, as they

look to have fun and raise money for local charities. The group will be around when Father Christmas pops in to The Christmas Shop in San Luis on Saturday November 28th, which will be a good time to learn about what they get up to. For details see the website, www.rojalespantomimegroup. com

Panto Time

Local & News

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

Friday 6th November 2015

Giving It Some Verbal with “Poder” This week we look at the verb PODER which in English means ´to be able to´: I can, you can, etc. Firstly the present indicative conjunction of the verb is: Puedo, puedes, puede, podemos, podéis, pueden. As you can see it´s irregular except in the nosotros and vosotros forms. We use PODER when in English we use the word can when talking about ability, for example: mi amigo puede bailar salsa – my friend can dance salsa, necesito gafas para poder ver – I need glasses to be able to see. We also use it when asking for permission with can or m a y :

than the verb saber which means to know how to do something, so rather than say puedes tocar el piano, if we´re talking aabout general ability we would rather say ´sabes tocar el piano´. We can also use it with the preposition ćon´ to mean tolerate or put up with, for example: no puedo más con mi jefe – I can´t stand my boss, No puedo más contigo. Me estás volviendo loca – I can't put up with you any longer. You're driving me crazy. When you use poder que it means might or maybe, therefore: puede que no venga a la fiesta means ´he might not come to the party´. There are some expressions with the verb PODER, some of them are: a más no poder which means ás much as possible´ as in ´jugaba a panish as Learning S más no poder´ he age u g n la n ig a fore played as hard as he e s o th of can be one could, ¿se puede? s e g ta n Means ´may I?´ as in great adva in life. ´may I come in´. The main difficulty with this verb is that the past tense of ¿puedo to be able to in English is entrar? – can I ćould´ which is the same as come in?, ¿puedo usar el the conditional, however in baño? – may I use the bath- Spanish we have three difroom? ferent words so we need to You have to remember know which one we need. when to use poder rather In the preterite the verb

BEING BILINGUAL

conjugates as: pude, pudiste, pudo, pudimos, pudisteis, pudieron. We use this verb for one time occurances in the past and it has the meaning of ´managed to´ for example: pudo salir – he managed to leave. We also use this tense to talk about something that could have happened but didn’t, e.g. pudo salir a last tres – she could have left at three o´clock. The imperfect conjugates thus: podia, podías, podía, podíamos, podíais, podían. It tends to stick to the more general translation and is more commonly used in Spanish, for example: no podría salir – he was unable to leave. The conditional is used as in English and it conjugates likes this, note the slight difference between this and the imperfect: podría, podrías, podría, podríamos, podríais, podrían. E.g. ¿podrías darme un lapis? – could you give me a pencil? The future conjugation of poder (will) is: podré, podrás, podrá, podremos, podréis, podrán. This works as in English, i.e: Podré ir al cone mañana – I will be able to go to the cinema tomorrow. The Subjunctive is like this: Present: pueda, puedas, pueda, podemos, podáis, puedan. Imperfect 1: pudiera, pudieras, pudiera,

pudiéramos, pudierais, pudieran. Imperfect 2: pudiese, pudieses, pudiese, pudiésemos, pudieseis, pudiesen. Future: pudiere, pudieres, pudiere, pudiéremos, pudiereis, pudieren. The past participle is podido and the present participle is pudiendo. The imperative is: tú puede, él/ella pueda, podemos, poded, puedan. Now for the translations, answers next week: Can you help me? did you manage to change the tyre? You could try this one on, can you hear me? I couldn´t do anything, it´s possible to do it, can he go with you? I can´t see, they

can´t find the house, can I try it on? We´re not going to be able to attend. Now to give you the answers to last week’s translations that I set you and let’s see how you got on! I´ve got a blue car – tengo un coche azul, he´s got to go out at six o´clock – él tiene que salir a las seis, we´ve got to eat now – tenemos que comer ahora, do we have to go to the party tonight? - ¿tenemos que ir a la fiesta esta noche? I´m very sleepy – tengo mucho sueño, I´ve got a lot of books in my bedroom – tengo muchos libros en mi habitación, are you hungry? -

¿tienes hambre? I didn´t have time – no tuve tiempo , I´ll have to go to Madrid soon tender que ir a Madrid pronto, I´ve got a pain in my leg – tengo dolor de la pierna, I have three children – tengo tres hijos, how old are you? ¿cuántos años tienes? It wasn´t my fault – no tuve la culpa, I don´t have any idea – no tengo ni idea, will they have enough food? – ¿tendrán bastante (suficiente) comida? Do you have children? - ¿tienes hijos? I have a lot of friends – tengo muchos amigos, do you have a light? - ¿tienes fuego?

Pets

Friday 6th November 2015

Calming Your Dog Down

Are Some Dogs Smarter than Others?

The question over smart dogs is a common one, but we must remember that intelligence comes in many forms, even in dogs, so it's hard to say whether one breed is really "smarter" than another. But there are definite differences. According to expert neuropsychologist Stanley Coren, PhD, author of Born to Bark, there are three major types of dog smarts: instinctive intelligence (what a dog is bred for), adaptive intelligence (what a dog can learn by itself), and working and obedience intelligence (what people can teach a dog to do). Comparing breeds can be hard for the first two types, but there's a wide range in brainpower among breeds in working and obedience intelligence.

Aggression is a serious behaviour problem for many dog owners. Behaviours such as growling, snapping, or biting are upsetting and scary, and dogs of any breed are capable of aggression. While aggression cannot be cured overnight, there are steps you can take to stop it. TALK TO YOUR VET Dogs who show sudden signs of aggression may have an underlying medical problem. There are a number of conditions and diseases which cause aggressive behaviour. Chat to your vet to determine whether this is the case for your pet. Treatment or medication may make big improvements in your dog's behaviour. If you have ruled out a medical problem, it is time to call in a professional dog trainer or behaviourist. Because

aggression is such a serious problem, dog owners should not attempt to fix it on their own. A professional can help you create a plan to manage your dog's aggression. WORK IT OUT Your first step is to figure out what causes your dog's aggression. Some dogs growl when someone approaches them while they are eating or chewing a bone. Others react aggressively towards children or strangers. You cannot come up with a plan to change your dog's behaviour until you know the reason behind it. AVOID SITUATIONS Now that you know what causes your dog's behaviour, you can avoid those situations. If your dog growls over his toys or his food bowl, you can feed him in his crate or take away certain toys. If

he is aggressive towards strangers or other dogs, you can keep his exercise limited to to your own backyard or patio. CREATE A PLAN Your trainer can help you figure out the best plan for managing your dog's aggression. The plan will be different for each dog depending on the cause and the degree of the aggression. In most cases, you will be using positive reinforcement (i.e. lots of treats and praise) to teach your dog new behaviours. For example, if your dog is mildly aggressive towards strangers, start off by standing far away from someone your dog does not know. The distance should be far enough away so that your dog has not started to growl or snap. Then, give him lots of treats and praise. Gradually decrease the distance between your dog and strangers, continuing to use the positive reinforcement. Your dog will begin to learn that strangers equal treats, and you should see a decrease in aggression. This same gradual process can work for getting your dog used to a variety of other situations. BE CONSISTANT AND POSITIVE It is important to keep things positive. Punishing your dog for aggressive behaviour usually backfires, and can escalate the

aggression. If you respond to a growling dog by hitting or yelling, he may feel the need to defend himself by biting. Punishment may also lead to your dog biting without warning. For example, if your dog growls at children, he is letting you know that he is uncomfortable around them. If you punish him for growling, he may not give this warning the next time he gets uncomfortable. He will simply bite. Aggression is not something that goes away overnight. It is important that once you have a plan of action in place, you are consistent. Stick to your plan, and do not try to jump ahead to the next step until your dog is ready. Although it can take several months or more, with patience and persistence you should see changes in your dog's behaviour. OTHER CONSIDERATIONS In some instances, training alone is not enough. Dogs who are aggressive because they are fearful may need medication to help manage the problem. Talk to your vet about your options. Another consideration is whether or not your lifestyle allows you to stick with a plan. For instance, if you have a dog who growls at children and you have kids, it is impossible to avoid the situation which brings out his aggression. In this case, the best option for you and your dog may be finding him a new home.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

BERTIE All of the animals we feature deserve a new, loving, forever home, including this cute little boy, Bertie. Bertie is fully house trained and good with other dogs and cats. He loves his cuddles and playtime. For more information about Bertie, please phone on 600 845 420 or 865 776 348 or visit the website at www.k9club.es

ANNIE Cushtee is just over two years old, and was thrown from a car on the motorway when he was six months old. He is a very happy boy, clean and walks very well on the lead. He is very loving and loves to be with people. Please contact us via email see below info@catsndogsaid.com if you would like to meet him or call 616655789. Believe us when we say he is gorgeous.

HARRY In every litter there seems to be one who doesn't look like any of the others. Harry's brothers and sister have typical Great Dane features, but he decided to be different. He is the same size as them, but he's an individual. Their sister has been lucky to find a home, but Harry, Henry and Oliver are still looking for theirs. To meet the family, please call 630 422 563.

RINGO Little Ringo is a cheeky, blue eyed kitten and is one of the many kittens being cared for in APAH's Cattery. They are all different colours and personalities, but if you're looking for a kitten to take into your heart and your home, there'll be one for you. Please consider visiting this weekend and giving one of these pets a home. To meet them all. please call 630 422 563.

PASHA

FOXY

Pasha is a five-year-old Pachon Navarro who was going to be euthanised. Pasha is va ery healthy and loving dog and needs a home where she will get the love that she needs and deserves. For more information on this lovely girl please phone P.E.P.A. on 650 304 746 or send them an email to p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Foxy was found wandering the streets in the pouring rain, and thankfully one of our volunteers found him and took him in. He is only a smallish boy, around nine kilos and looks like he may have a little Chihuahua cross in him. Foxy is around two years old, housetrained and good with other dogs. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Friday 6th November 2015

Pension Freedom Scams – How to avoid them !

Conmen across Europe have snatched nearly 10 million pounds from savers since the pension freedom rules were brought in on 5th April 2015. The Pension Freedom rules have made it easier to access your pension nest egg.

This has led to an

increase in scammers and fraudsters who want to dupe unsuspecting savers out of their pensions.

They have

been encouraging savers to plough their cash into suspect investments such as property in Belize or shares in

made

companies.

Yesterday, a report by the influential Commons work and

pensions

committee

warned that savers were at risk of losing their pensions to crooks because of a lack of advice over the new reforms. Tom McPhail, head of

pensions

research

Hargreaves Lansdown, says: 'The Government was slightly negligent in not taking firmer steps to address the fraud risk and to strengthen investor protections before rolling out the freedoms. He said further 'From an individual's point of view, the message is customers should only deal with regulated investments and schemes and to be wary of cold callers.' John Lawson, head of financial research at insurer Aviva, says: 'Since the pension

freedoms

were

introduced, people can now access all their cash. Many will do that and then pass their savings on to the scammers. A lot of these scams are based on longer-term promises. People are still investing in hotels, car parks and holiday home developments that don't exist — they just don't realise yet that they've been ripped off.' At

Seagate

Wealth

Management, we only advise on Spanish compliant investment products. If you have a UK pension fund and you want advice on what you can and can´t do then please contact us on 965 704 338 or email

direct

Contact@SeagateWealth.es

Friday 6th November 2015

Tony Mayes - About Life

Clean Sweep For The Blokes

Who are the most hygienic when it comes to cleanliness in the office? Most people would say that women are cleaner than men, and that is backed up with research by the company Initial Hygiene, which found that 43 percent of women believed their male colleagues were lazy, unhygienic and never washed their hands. Men, however, thought their female colleagues were close to perfect with 89 per cent of them believing ladies in the office always washed their hands. But new research has now found that it is in fact the women who are muckier and men are only seeing them through rose-coloured glasses. When my wife and I visit public conveniences, she is often the one who complains about how filthy the women's loos are, while I would tell her that the men's was OK. The reality is, according to research, a high 96 per cent of men wash their hands with soap at work, tying with their female colleagues and trumping them when it comes to general bathroom cleanliness. While 77 per cent of males clean the toilet seat before sitting, just 59 per cent of women do and when it comes to cleaning it afterwards, 52 per cent of men take the time compared to just 42 per cent of women. More men

(67 per cent) than women (53 per cent) also admitted to avoiding touching things in the bathroom they knew others had. Psychologist Emma Kenny, says it appears men have a 'real understanding of the importance of bathroom cleanliness' despite negative assumptions placed upon them. 'Men are instinctively protective and territorial and these natural predilections could well be why they take care when using their own and others toilets,' she said. Men also take out the cleanliness title with lowering the toilet lid before flushing, with 69 per cent of men lowering the spread of airborne germs - compared to 63 per cent of women. So fellas, cut this out and next time you're criticised by your other half about something you have or haven't done in the bathroom - you have the proof that potentially women are spreading germs more readily than men! The French had better watch out - their beloved Champagne may soon be a thing of the past - trumped by the British. While only Champagne can be called as such if it comes from that region of France, wine experts pitted the "real" stuff against sparkling wines produced in West Sussex and Hampshire, and these came out on top. The chalk

South and North Downs have similar soils to that of the Champagne region of France, and as climate change makes the UK warmer, southern England becomes ever more able to produce quality wines, as it did in Roman times. Increasing areas in the south are being turned over to vineyards, not surprising when there is far more profit to be made in wine production than many other farm crops or meat and milk production. Last year there was a record production of 6.3 million bottles up from 4.45m in 2013 and this year's production seems set to top that. Two thirds of production is sparkling wine, and sales in the UK are already equivalent to one tenth of those for Champagne. If you listen to charity workers, the hierarchy of the Church of England, and Labour politicians and you would think that at least a quarter of the population of Britain were living below the poverty line. Food bank usage has passed 900,000 people per year in the UK, which demonstrates there is a hard-core of people struggling. But why are there so many people in need of handouts when unemployment is so low and there are many jobs on the books? In Manchester, job advisers have been present at food

banks to try to get some recipients into work and thus less dependent on handouts. And now Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith would like to see the trial scheme in Manchester rolled out nationwide. That's all well and good, but there are a growing number of jobs in Britain paying at or below the unofficial national living wage, and that's the real scandal. The Tories must put an end to the continuing exploitation of employers against employees. Apparently employers are turning to taking on more part-timers, especially youngsters, so they can keep wage costs to the minimum possible. It's no good just naming and shaming those who are paying below the minimum. Just get them before a court and fined heavily fined in fact to put them out of business. And make sure they're paying their proper rates of tax too without exemption loopholes for this, that and everything else. The government need only to crack down for a short time, show they mean business and are prepared to put greedy employers out of business, and the rotten apples would very quickly get the message. If something drastic isn't done to redress the ever widening gap between rich and poor, then Jeremy Corbyn and his merry band

of left wingers will become ever more credible to electors. The Brit who gets the raspberry of the week must be the driver of a bin lorry which ploughed into pedestrians killing six and injuring 15 people in Glasgow just before Christmas last year. Harry Clarke, 58, was unconscious at the wheel when the lorry went out of control and at a hearing later it emerged that he failed to tell his employer and the DVLA of his history of blackouts. He was due to attend a disciplinary hearing last week but hours before he was due to appear, the council received his resignation letter. What a disgrace lying about his medical condition which resulted in carnage. Has he no shame? He has been at work all this time - he should have resigned the next day, not the day of his hearing. I'm increasingly getting the hump over Spanish road humps. Last week I followed a crazy driver who decided that he would travel at only three kms an hour over each and every hump in the road. I know the object of road humps is to cut drivers' speeds, but three kms an hour is ridiculous. I don't know what he had on board, maybe a car full of eggs, but it was total frustration to be behind him. It got me thinking why does

Spain need so many road humps? OK, many drivers are stupid, and drive far too fast, especially in built-up areas, but there are simply too many humps and drivers are having to slow down and accelerate over and over again. This increases fuel consumption and pollution and is annoying for those living close to a road hump. Come on councils, take a long, hard look at all these road humps. Are they really all necessary, and are they in the right places? Some are in the daftest of places. Would it not be more sensible to put speed cameras beside roads and get rid of the humps? Just look at all the revenue they would generate - it might get enough money in the coffers to get the streets cleaned and dog mess cleaned up. Finally, I'm being bullied at home! Mrs M wants to banish my laptop from the lounge. She says it creates a clutter! She who must be obeyed thinks the desk on which the laptop sits is an eyesore and wants it banished to a bedroom. She's now enlisted female neighbours to keep nagging me but I'm resisting because as a man I am more than capable of multi-tasking, watching TV as well as using the computer. Anyway, why is her Ipad acceptable and my laptop isn't? Any solutions?

Lifestyle

Friday 6th November 2015

Walking And Texting Puts Youngsters Most At Risk No pavement or road is safe from mishap in these days of smartphone fixated, text-happy pedestrians. More worrying, though, is that many people continue to use their phones and mobile devices even while crossing busy roads. Ford commissioned a survey of 10,000 people across Europe to dimension the issue of distracted pedestrians – including those crossing the road where there is no official crossing*. According to official data, more than 85,000 pedestrians lost their lives on European roads between 2003 and 2013**, which recognises car crashes are the leading cause of death in 18 to 24-year-olds***. Most smartphone users surveyed (57 per cent) admitted using their devices when crossing the road, even when there is no formal crossing, and nearly half (47 per cent) talk on the phone. Those aged 18-24 years old were most likely to have used mobile devices or phones (86 per cent), talked on the phone (68 per cent), listened to music (62 per cent), texted (34 per cent), and had an accident or near

miss (22 per cent), while crossing the street. Ford is highlighting the risks posed by distracted pedestrians as part of Ford Driving Skills for Life (DSFL). The award-winning novice driver programme has provided training for more than half a million people globally through free hands‑on and online education since its launch in the U.S. 11 years ago. Brought to Europe in 2013, Ford has now introduced DSFL training in the UK, and across Europe, working together with leading safety organisations. Training also highlights the risks of drink-driving and using social media while driving. DSFL takes place in the UK just ahead of National

Road Safety week, at London’s ExCeL exhibition centre, from 20-22 November. “It’s one thing to walk along the pavement with headphones on listening to music, but stepping into a road while texting, playing a game or browsing online is extremely dangerous,” said Jim Graham, manager, Ford DSFL. “Our training makes young people more aware of their surroundings both as a driver and a passenger, so hazards can be anticipated earlier.” Overall, 32 per cent of pedestrians admitted listening to music, 14 per cent text, 9 per cent browse the internet, 7 per cent use social media, and 3 per cent play

games or watch TV/videos while crossing roads. Most admitted the behaviour was dangerous, and 60 per cent said they felt safer knowing that autonomous vehicles, or vehicles equipped with semiautonomous technologies, could intervene to prevent or mitigate an accident if the driver did not respond to warnings. Ford recently introduced a new pedestrian detection technology that could assist the driver in reducing the severity of accidents or help drivers avoid them altogether. Pre-Collision Assist with Pedestrian Detection, available on the all-new Galaxy, Mondeo, and S-MAX models, can, under certain conditions detect people in the road ahead, or who could cross the vehicle’s path, and can automatically apply the brakes if the driver does not respond to warnings. The system processes information collected from a windshield-mounted camera, and a radar located in the bumper, and checks it against a database of “pedestrian shapes” to distinguish people from typical roadside scenery and objects. While the new sys-

tem may be especially helpful in unexpected situations, it does not replace the driver and has limitations including night-time, low and harsh lighting conditions, certain weather conditions, and vehicles moving in a different direction. Official data obtained by the Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM), Britain’s biggest independent road safety charity, reveals that 23 per cent of vehicle accidents involving a pedestrian injury in the U.K. in 2013 occurred in circumstances where the pedestrian failed to look properly, was careless or reckless, or in a hurry. **** “Pedestrian fatalities are rising faster than any other group right now so it is vital that drivers are more sympathetic and aware of pedestrians when they make their journeys,” said Sarah Sillars, chief executive officer, IAM. “There is no need to blame any party when it comes to how to reduce the numbers of people killed and injured on our roads – all road users need to look out for each other and ensure we minimise the impact of our own and others’ unpredictable behaviour.”

Blue Light Priority

N332.es From February 2016, all priority vehicles on Spain´s roads will display flashing blue lights. Currently, fire and ambulance vehicles, and tow trucks responding to an emergency, indicate that they are priority vehicles by use of flashing orange lights, with only the police and Guardia Civil using blue. Spain was the only European country which had not adopted the standard but a change to the law which covers this provision has been published in the official gazette this week, along with many other changes to traffic laws, which will come into force early next year.

Lifestyle

Friday 6th November 2015

Lifestyle +

Friday 6th November 2015

Design Inspiration: How To Light Your Kitchen Lighting Your Kitchen Needn't Be Tricky, See The Ideas Here... The dining room might be defunct in most homes but the pendants, chandeliers and picture lights that once graced its walls and ceiling are finding their way into the kitchen. “This is the room we now live in,” says Clare Rydon of furniture retailer made.com. “We’ve used utilitarian spotlights in our kitchens for the past 20 years, but now we want to create a more ambient space.” By introducing different types of lighting, you

can create zones within an open-plan room. “You can have a different atmosphere whether you’re cooking, eating or watching television,” she says. Statement pendants or glass globes will add softness, warmth and intimacy to a functional space, according to Natalia Miyar of interior designer Helen Green. “A trio or cluster of pendants will give the greatest impact, adding a clean yet decorative touch,” she says.

Emma also recommends adding a few directional or static wall lights for atmosphere; made.com reported a 200 per cent rise in sales of directional wall lights last year. “Wall lights in kitchens can be very effective,” she says. “You can mix up shapes and styles, classic and contemporary, for your lights. I’d just avoid mixing metal colours, and make sure all your fittings – taps, door handles, lights – are finished the same way.” Lacquered and antique brass is popular, along with stainless steel and chrome. This is not to say that the humble spotlight has had its day. Bright task lighting is still the backbone of any kitchen lighting scheme, according to interior designer Mary Graham of Salvesen Graham, and ceiling spots are an economic way to achieve it, particularly if you use ecofriendly LED bulbs. She doesn’t go in for illuminating cupboard interiors, but does recommend a light within a deep larder cupboard, plus strong lighting

over the cooker, along with spots under upper-level units to illuminate the work surface. If you’re determined to do without basic spots, however, there are alternative task lights, according to Emma. She recommends directional down lighters in classical or industrial styles, which can

be angled to illuminate areas. “They create more of an atmosphere than spotlights and they will highlight a particular part of the kitchen rather than all the scuffs you get in a busy home,” she explains. The key to creating an atmospheric living space, she continues, is to have multiple circuits on dim-

mers. “In an open-plan room you want to be able to switch on a certain circuit when your child is doing their homework at the table or when you want to hide the mess by the sink,” she says. “This way you won’t have your dinner party guests staring at all your dirty pots and pans.”

Making Dreams a Reality The dreams of ten lucky children have been brought to life, as Swedish furniture manufacturer IKEA has selected a number of their drawings and created plush toys from the imagination of the lucky kids. Since 2003, the campaign has helped some 11 million children, with the idea explained by the company, “We’re working toward a world where children living in poverty have more opportunities to cre-

ate a better future for themselves and their families – and the Soft Toys for Education campaign is a part of making those things possible.” IKEA co-workers work hard to promote the Soft Toys for Education and Brighter Lives for Refugee campaigns in their stores so that they can donate more money to fund incredible educational projects run by UNICEF, Save the Children and the UNHCR

(UN Refugee Agency) around the world. Every euro or dollar collected with purchases will go to these charities. For more information, you can visit the IKEA website, ikea.com, or simply search Soft Toys for Education to see a wealth of videos and reports from around the world of real people who have been helped through the dedication of the campaign from a giant known for furniture.

Friday 6th November toâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;Thursday 12th November 2015

2 - The Courier TV Pull-out

Goodbye Old Friends - Whatson´s Choice

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night… What a great song, don´t you think? However, it´s not a great sentiment because I for one have a tear in my eye this week (not good for an electrical device by the way) as we say goodbye to two TV greats, Lewis, which ITV have only just confirmed will end, and popular period drama

Downton Abbey. Of course you might remember that it´s not the first time Lewis has ended, after all Robbie (Lewis) retired, only to then come back as a consultant, but this time it´s for good, or so they say. I t ´ s n o t strictly the end of Downton Abbey either, as there´s still the Christmas special to look forward to, but it is the end of the final series.

The Wanted

Another new series starts this week looking at policing the UK. This latest 10-part series on BBC One follows elite units of uniformed and plain clothed police officers in two of Britain’s busiest forces. Undercover surveillance operations, dawn raids and high-speed pursuits are all in a day’s work for these officers as they execute arrest warrants in Greater Manchester and West Yorkshire. But for this series, they’re wearing special filming equipment which brings viewers closer to the action than ever before. Each pulsating episode features the work of a num-

ber of specialist teams, including the Serious Organised Crime Group, which aims to take the most dangerous villains off the streets of Manchester. It also focuses on officers in Leeds who track down home-grown offenders, as well as foreign criminals on the run from police in their own countries. In the first episode the Serious Organised Crime Group are tasked with tracking down two absconded prisoners and putting them back behind bars, while the Quartz Drugs Team discover a cannabis farm in Leeds with some lethal electrical engineering.

It´s not all doom and gloom. There is some good news this week. One of the most exciting snippets was that Doctor Foster will return for a second series. Perhaps no surprise after the series finale was watched by 10.1m viewers, every one of them on the edge of their seats. In the new series, Doctor Foster´s life as a divorcee will be explored. Suranne Jones said, “After discussions with Drama Republic and the wonderful Mike Bartlett I am thrilled to announce we will all be

reunited to tell Gemma's next chapter, and I can't wait for the audience who invested in these characters to find out what explosive twists and turns Mike has in store. Now we can look into what happens to a woman after divorce, when deceit and revenge have taken their toll. What a gift of a part and a dream to work with Mike again!” And, talking of Suranne Jones, filming has begun on a new three-part Scott and Bailey story along with Lesley Sharp, shooting on location in Manchester.

London Spy

In a new series on BBC Two this week. MI6 agent Alex starts a relationship with ordinary guy Danny and the romance promises happiness for both of them, but tragedy strikes when the spy dies in suspicious circumstances, forcing his lover to pursue the dangerous truth behind his death. Out of his depth in the world of espionage, Danny seeks help from his wise mentor Scottie, embarking on a journey where no one is who they seem. London Spy tells the story of Danny (Ben Whishaw), a young gay spy who is somewhat ill-equipped for the game of espionage. The MI6

officer soon falls in love with Alex, but when he disappears Danny must decide whether he’s prepared to fight for the truth. In addition to Ben Whishaw, the five episode series also stars Edward Holcroft (Wolf Hall) as Alex, Danny’s anti-social and enigmatic love interest; Charlotte Rampling (Dexter) as Frances, a figure from deep within the traditions of British espionage; and Jim Broadbent (Harry Potter) as Scottie, Danny’s (Ben Whishaw) close confidant. Penned by author Tom Rob Smith. Flemish director Jakob Verbrugeen directed all five episodes.

Goodbye to Lewis

Final Lewis episode brings one of ITV’s bestloved and most enduring dramas to a close ITV has confirmed that Lewis stars Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox have decided to retire from the drama after 10 years playing the ‘perfect’ detective duo Robbie Lewis and James Hathaway. Lewis, also starring Angela Griffin and Clare Holman, will come to a close

this week with the airing of the final episode of the current two-parter, ‘What Lies Tangled,’ on ITV. Kevin Whately starred with John Thaw in Inspector Morse and first appeared on screen as Robbie Lewis in 1987. In November 2000 John Thaw and Kevin made their farewell appearance in the 33rd Inspector Morse film, a dramatization of Colin Dexter’s final novel, the Remorseful Day.

Lewis was commissioned in 2005, with Kevin returning as Inspector Robbie Lewis on 29 January 2006. Set five years after the death of his long-term partner Morse, Lewis found himself teamed up with a much younger partner, James Hathaway (Laurence Fox), and reporting to a new boss in the figure of Chief Supt Jean Innocent (Rebecca Front). ‘What Lies Tangled’ part 2 will be the 33rd episode of Lewis, signaling the culmination of one if ITV’s best loved dramas. Kevin Whately said: "I feel incredibly fortunate to have shared a decade of fantastic worldwide success with Laurence and with the most brilliant crew, cast and production team anyone could wish for, and all that time with the loyal support of so many fans and of our backers ITV and WGBH �Boston. Thanks every-

body. What a ride it has been!” Laurence Fox said: "What an extraordinary ten years. I feel so lucky to have worked with absolutely the best crew in the business on Lewis. I will really miss hanging out with Kev for half the year. I´m fairly confident that he will not miss my flawless Geordie accent between takes. Thank you so much for watching and supporting us.“ Michele Buck, Executive Producer added: “To have produced the same amount of films as Morse is an honour. I will miss Lewis.” ITV’s Director of Drama Steve November commented: "It is with great sadness that we say goodbye to Robbie Lewis, one of ITV's most loved and enduring characters. We owe Kevin a huge debt of gratitude for nearly 30 fantastic years of Morse and Lewis.

Goodbye to The Kennedys On Friday, it´s the final episode of The Kennedys on BBC One and for the first time in his life, Tony has got his own way - he’s taking the family on a camping holiday to Wales. They will be joined by friends Tim and Jenny, as well as Tony’s mother - a bereaved diabetic with a heart condition, who isn’t that keen on Brenda. They all arrive at a deserted campsite only to discover it’s been evacuated, as the worst storm to hit the Gower Peninsula is very much on its way. Meanwhile, Tim has forgotten to pack a tent for him and Jenny, so everyone is forced to huddle together in the one tent. With the weather worsening Tony decides to break into a caravan to provide shelter for everyone.

The Hunt: In The Grip Of The Seasons On Sunday on BBC One, episode two of The Hunt looks at the challenges of hunting in the Arctic, the most seasonal place on Earth. The Arctic is a place that alters its state on an annual loop, from a floating continent of ice in permanent darkness to a meagre scattering of barren islands under 24-hour sunshine. This means that the year is lean, with only brief windows of opportunity for the predators that call this place home: the Arctic wolf, on the larger islands; the Arctic fox on the dramatic coasts; and out on the sea ice, the polar bear. These predators answer the problems of the changing world in which they live by switching through a string of completely different hunting strategies at different times of year. In a filming first, The Hunt shows a polar bear risking life and limb to climb 300m up a cliff to get to chicks and eggs; and another using holes in the melting summer ice to steal closer to basking seals. Arctic foxes have adopted a new strategy for capturing Arctic auks, plucking them out of the sky mid-flight as they attempt to get away.

Prison Night On Saturday on Channel 4, British inmates are given a chance to determine just how authentic some of the world's most popular bigscreen depictions of life behind bars really are. A countdown of celebrated prison dramas, thrillers and comedies, as voted for by convicts serving time at Her Majesty's pleasure, reveal which films most accurately convey the realities of confinement. Plus, lifers, great escapees, Brits banged up abroad and prison bosses also provide their perspective on the plausibility of some of the cell-based hijinks devoured by cinema-goers over the ages.

Goodbye Downton Sunday on ITV sees the final episode of Downton Abbey. Bertie's circumstances change suddenly, leaving Edith uncertain whether to risk telling him the truth or keep her past a secret at all costs. Mary wonders if she can ever make peace with her sister as hostilities escalate, Spratt shows some hidden talents and Molesley's first day as a teacher does not go according to plan. Mrs Patmore's bed and breakfast attracts unwanted attention, leaving her in need of the Crawleys' help.

Friday 6th November 07:15 My Life on a Plate 08:00 The Edge 08:45 Junior Bake Off 09:15 Pound Shop Wars 09:45 Great British Menu 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:25 Bergerac 15:15 The Box 15:45 The Great British Bake Off 16:45 Wild China 17:45 The Wonder of Animals 18:15 Antiques 20:30 A Question of Sport Roadshow 19:00 Strictly Sue Barker hosts the light- Come Dancing: It Takes Two hearted sports quiz 20:00 Mastermind John 21:00 EastEnders Two Humphrys invites four more residents prepare to tie the contenders to answer quesknot tions in the black chair

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The People Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer Housing The 12:00 Enforcers 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Edge 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 My Life on a Plate 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

21:30 Citizen Khan Mr Khan wants to get baby Mohammad enrolled at a good school and tries to take the inside track by becoming a school crossing patrol officer 22:00 Have I Got News for You Satirical news quiz with guest host Kathy Burke 22:30 The Kennedys Tony is taking the family camping to Wales, and they are not going alone 23:00 News 23:35 The Graham Norton Show 00:20 Asian Provocateur 00:50 Film - Cemetery 02:25 (15) Junction Weather for the Week Ahead 02:30 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Chas is not coping at all after discovering that the pub has been trashed in the night. All eyes are on Emma as the prime suspect, especially when she admits to being the one who locked Chas in the cellar. James defends Emma, but it’s clear that he is worried about her state of mind as he begins to question Emma.

Morning Good 07:00 Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Pick Me 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Cain accuses Emma of terrorising Chas 20:30 Coronation Street Rita encourages Audrey to seize the day

The Courier TV Pull-out - 3

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ice Road Truckers 13:10 News 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Hitched for the Holidays (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Secrets of Great British Castles Dan Jones explores the turbulent history of the Tower of London, which is one of Britain’s most famous buildings

Italian Gino’s 21:00 Escape: Islands in the D’Acampo Gino Sun returns for a third series in which he experiences the culture, meets the people 20:30 Match of the Day and tastes the food of his Live Salford City v Notts home country County (Kick-off 855pm) 21:30 Coronation Street Mark Chapman presents Kylie is appalled by David’s coverage from Moor Lane, callous attitude as the first round of the prestigious competition gets 22:00 Piers Morgan’s Life under way County will start Stories Raquel Welch, as strong favourites given most famous for her portheir professional status, but trayal of the bikini-clad cave girl in the 1966 film upsets have been commonOne Million Years BC, place in this competition reflects on her life and over the years probes career. Piers Raquel about the men in 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight her life, including fellow 00:00 Artsnight 00:30 Later Hollywood icons Warren with Jools Holland 01:40 Beatty and Steve McQueen Film - Disgrace (15) 03:30 23:00 News and Weather Question Time 04:30 Sir 23:40 The Mobo Awards Alex Ferguson: Secrets of 2015 01:35 Jackpot247 Success 05:30 This is BBC 04:00 Jeremy Kyle USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen Two

20:30 Unreported World Reporter Krishnan GuruMurthy and director Paul Kittel meet the television journalist in Sicily risking his life to expose the Mafia bosses whose tentacles still reach far into almost every aspect of life

23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 First Dates 01:10 Rude Tube 02:05 Film - The Bling Ring (15) 03:35 Supernatural 04:25 Four Rooms 05:20 River Cottage Bites 05:30 Fifteen to One

22:55 NCIS 23:55 NCIS: Los Angeles 00:50 Access 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 Now That’s Funny 05:00 Eamonn and Ruth: How the Other Half Lives 05:45 House Doctor

Emma is left furious and full of hatred following the tense encounter. She later confronts a panic-stricken Chas. A petrified Chas crumples to the ground, but is Emma the one who has been stalking her?

In the second part, Audrey calls at Number 1 intent on revealing her true feelings to Ken, but she is shocked to find Nessa there enjoying a glass of wine. Audrey leaves, embarrassed.

it’s best if she says goodbye to Max, as it’s obvious he is frightened because she is Callum’s mum. David is relieved, but Gail and Kylie are heartbroken for her.

Later in The Rovers, Audrey is upset as she confides in Rita how Nessa appears to have got her claws into Ken. Will Rita be able to persuade Audrey to open up to Ken, or is it too late?

In Eastenders, It’s the day of Kush and Shabnam’s wedding but with secrets rife, will everything go to plan? Things become even more complicated when Kush finds himself in an impossible situation, but what will he decide to do?

Meanwhile, after visiting the place he got shot, a distressed Robert tells Victoria that when he gets to see Aaron deliver his plea in court, he will be able to tell if he did it or not. He still questions whether Aaron could have pulled the trigger. In Coronation Street, Nessa styles Mary’s hair at the salon while wittering on about Ken, much to Audrey’s annoyance. Nessa then calls in the

café and quizzes Roy about Ken’s likes and dislikes. Cathy worries that poor Ken doesn’t stand a chance.

Later, Audrey confides in Rita that she has grown very fond of Ken, but also feels disloyal to Deirdre. Rita encourages her to seize the day. Will Audrey tell Ken how she feels about him?

21:00 TFI Friday This week’s guests include Sir Elton John, Julianne Moore and Stanley Tucci 22:00 Gogglebox The nation’s favourite armchair critics share their opinions on what they have been watching during the week

Meanwhile, Gail lays down the law to David, telling him it’s only fair that Marion should spend time with her grandson. However, when Marion approaches Max, it’s clear that he’s scared of her. An upset Marion realises that

21:00 Ice Road Truckers With a new trucking season underway, both VP Express and Polar Industries face the unprecedented winter conditions brought on by the polar vortex 22:00 NCIS: New Orleans While conducting an autopsy on a petty officer who is believed to have died from natural causes, an armed man enters the morgue and holds Wade, Sebastian and Danny hostage

Meanwhile, with Vincent on her mind, a broken Kim is comforted by Denise. Elsewhere, Nancy is overwhelmed when introduced to Tamwar’s family.

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 09:05 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 Totally You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film Scary Movie 5 (15) 23:45 Film - The Faculty (18) 01:55 Two and a Half Men 02:20 The Vampire Diaries 03:05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 03:20 Teleshopping ITV3 07:00 George and Mildred 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 Murder, She Wrote 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:30 Judge Judy 11:50 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor at Large 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:10 Film - The Rebel (U) 03:00 Where the Heart is ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 07:55 The Sweeney 08:50 Minder 09:50 Magnum, PI 10:50 Gunsmoke 11:55 The Professionals 12:55 The Sweeney 14:00 Minder 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Gunsmoke 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 The Sweeney 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Car Chasers 22:00 Storage Wars 23:00 Film Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (18) 01:20 The Football Mavericks

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Saturday 7th November

4 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen 12:30 Simply Nigella 13:00 News 13:10 Football Focus 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Rugby League: England v New Zealand 17:30 Final Score 18:20 News 18:40 Pointless 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing Tess and Claudia present another round of dancing action as the twinkle-toed celebrities compete to stay out of the bottom two 21:00 Doctor Who The Zygons have taken over, and the future of Earth is sealed in a box back in Unit’s archive 21:50 The National Lottery Live The National Lottery Live

07:15 Film - The Moon is Blue (PG) 08:55 Film - The Captive Heart (PG) 10:30 Homes Under the Hammer 11:30 The Wonder of Animals 12:00 Animal SOS 13:00 My Life on a Plate 14:30 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 15:00 Film - Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (PG) 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Demolition 18:30 Flog It 19:30 The Great Pottery Throw Down

07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 08:00 Signed Stories Share a Story 08:05 Oddbods 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Super 4 08:40 Adventure Time 09:00 Marvel Avengers Assemble 09:30 Thunderbirds are Go 10:00 Jessie 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:20 Jeremy Kyle 12:25 News and Weather 12:30 Jeremy Kyle 13:35 Downton Abbey 14:40 Judge Rinder 15:45 Doc Martin 16:45 Film - Death 20:30 Rick Stein From Becomes Her (PG) 18:45 Venice to Istanbul Rick News 19:15 Catchphrase continues his gastronomic The Chase: road trip from Venice to 20:00 Istanbul through the coun- Celebrity Special Four tries of the former celebrities come together as a team in order to take Byzantine Empire on one of the country’s 21:30 Dad’s Army The finest quiz brains ingenuity of Mainwaring’s 21:00 The X Factor The men is put to the test nation’s favourite singing competition moves into its 22:00 QI Stephen Fry mulls spectacular second live over miscellaneous M- show themed matters

22:00 The Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance 2015 Huw Edwards presents the Royal British Legion’s annual Festival of Remembrance, which pays tribute to all victims of war and conflict 22:45 Film - Song for Marion (PG) 00:15 The 23:40 News 00:00 Match of Many Faces of Richard the Day 01:25 The Apprentice 02:25 Weather Wilson 01:15 Film - Mad for the Week Ahead 02:30 City (15) 03:05 This is BBC Two News

07:15 How I Met Your Mother 07:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 Mobil 1 The Grid 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:55 The Simpsons 14:30 Racing: Doncaster, Aintree and Wincanton 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:30 News

07:00 Milkshake 09:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:30 The Saturday Show 12:25 Ice Road Truckers 14:25 Film - All I Want for Christmas (U) 16:05 Film - A Nanny for Christmas (U) 17:50 Film - Mistletoe Over Manhattan (PG) 19:35 News

20:00 The Restoration Man George Clarke meets Mark Horton, who has bought the derelict shell of an 18th-century folly called Bath Lodge in Ormskirk with the dream of converting it himself

19:40 Film - Operation Crossbow (PG) As V1 flying bombs fall on London, a team of daring Allied agents is hand-picked to infiltrate and destroy the German weapons research station at Peenemunde

21:00 Grand Designs Rob Hodgson and Kay Ralph plan to build an architectural monument high on a cliff top

22:00 Prison Night British inmates are given a chance to determine just how authentic some of the world’s most popular bigscreen depictions of life 23:20 The Jonathan Ross behind bars really are Show 00:25 News and Weather 00:45 Piers 23:35 TFI Friday 00:40 Morgan’s Life Stories 01:40 Film - Lockout (15) 02:25 Jackpot247 04:00 Show Fargo 03:20 Alan Carr: Man 04:15 Me the Telly 04:50 ITV Chatty Hollyoaks Omnibus Nightscreen

22:00 Football League Tonight Huddersfield take on Leeds, while Friday night’s East Midlands clash between Nottingham Forest and Derby also offers seasonal fireworks Elsewhere promotion hopefuls Hull and Middlesbrough meet 23:15 Greatest Comedy Movies 00:50 Film - See No Evil, Hear No Evil (15) 02:35 The Gadget Show 03:25 Super Casino 05:00 The Gift of Life 05:50 Make it Big

14:10 Tricked 15:10 Catchphrase 15:50 You’ve Been Framed 16:20 Film The Little Vampire (U) 18:15 Film - Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (PG) 20:10 Film - Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (PG) 22:00 Film - The Fast and the Furious (15) 00:10 Celebrity Juice ITV3 12:50 Inspector Morse 15:00 Rosemary and Thyme 16:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 17:55 Columbo 20:00 Doc Martin 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Lewis 01:00 Inspector Morse ITV4 12:35 The Professionals 14:40 Pawn Stars 16:25 Storage Wars 17:20 Storage Wars New York 19:20 Film - Red River (U) 22:00 Film - Tremors (15) 00:00 Film - Raw Deal (18)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Sunday 8th November 07:15 A to Z of TV Gardening 08:00 The Big Allotment Challenge 09:00 Countryfile’s Ramble for Children in Need 10:15 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:45 My Life on a Plate 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Escape to the Country 16:00 FA Cup Final Score 17:15 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 17:45 Flog It 18:30 Remembrance 20:15 Strictly Come Sunday: The Cenotaph Dancing Tess and Claudia 19:30 Match of the Day: FA present the results show Cup Highlights

07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:25 Remembrance Sunday: The Cenotaph 13:20 Sunday Politics 14:30 News 14:45 Lifeline 14:55 FA Cup Final Score 16:00 Points of View 16:15 The People Remember 17:15 Songs of Praise 17:50 The Hunt 18:50 News 19:15 Countryfile

21:00 Antiques Roadshow A return visit to RAF Coningsby, and there are plenty of mysteries in the show

21:00 Earth’s Wildest Waters Series exploring the incredible world of fishing 22:00 Film - Looper (15) Joe earns his money as a Looper, a hitman whose victims are sent from the future to the present through illegal time travel

22:00 The Hunt Nature documentary series narrated by Sir David Attenborough, taking an intimate and detailed look at the strategies employed by hunters to catch their prey, and the hunted to 23:50 Family Guy 00:30 Top Coppers 01:00 Film escape Return From the River Kwai 23:00 News 23:30 Match of (15) 02:35 Countryfile’s the Day 2 00:45 Citizen Ramble for Children in Khan 01:15 Weather for the Need 03:50 Holby City 04:50 This is BBC Two Week Ahead 01:20 News

07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 08:00 Signed Stories Share a Story 08:05 Oddbods 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Super 4 08:40 The Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:00 Marvel Avengers Assemble 09:30 Fish Hooks 10:00 Horrible Science 10:25 FIA Formula e Championship Highlights 11:20 Jeremy Kyle USA 12:15 News 12:20 Jeremy Kyle 14:30 The Chase 15:25 The X Factor 17:40 Film - Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (PG) 19:40 News

07:20 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:35 Frasier 09:30 The Simpsons 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Simpsons 16:50 Alone Again Natura-Diddily 17:20 The Simpsons 17:50 Film The Simpsons Movie (PG) 19:30 News

20:00 Restoring Britain’s Landmarks Alastair visits the engine house at Danescombe, Cornwall, where a refurbishment is underway, while John searches for an antique telescope to complete the tower at Belmont House in 20:00 Jekyll and Hyde Lyme Regis Robert becomes determined to rid himself of his 21:00 Great Canal alter ego Journeys Timothy West and Prunella Scales go to 21:00 The X Factor Ireland and travel along the Results Show Caroline Shannon Erne Waterway and Olly host as the singing competition’s next elimina- 22:00 Homeland The tion is announced hacktivists rise up, and Quinn covers for Carrie 22:00 Downton Abbey Bertie’s circumstances 23:00 Gogglebox 00:05 change suddenly. Film - The American (15) 23:40 News 23:50 Off Their 02:00 Grand Designs Obsessive Rockers 00:20 Rugby 02:55 Cleaners Highlights 01:15 Compulsive Jackpot247 04:00 03:50 Come Dine with Me Motorsport UK 04:50 ITV 05:35 Location, Location, Location Nightscreen

07:00 Milkshake 10:40 Football League Tonight News: 5 12:00 Sunday Remembrance 12:05 The Secret Life of Pets 12:35 Film - The Town That Christmas Forgot 14:20 Film - The Christmas Bunny (PG) 16:15 Film - Defending Santa 18:05 News

12:40 The X Factor 15:00 The Almost Impossible Gameshow 16:00 Film Nim’s Island (U) 17:55 Film - Space Jam (U) 19:40 Film - Kindergarten Cop (15) 22:00 The Xtra Factor 23:00 Film - 2 Fast 2 Furious (15) 01:10 Viral Tap

18:10 Film - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (PG) After escaping from, Robin of Locksley and his friend Azeem return to England, discover they where Robin’s father murdered and King Richard exiled

ITV3

21:05 Impractical Jokers USA Hidden camera practical joke show The Film 22:00 Expendables 2 (15) The team are reunited for what should be an easy job retrieving a mysterious object from the wreckage of a plane crash in Russia 23:55 Film - Highlander (15) 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 Eamonn and Ruth: How the Other Half Lives 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make it Big

13:25 Columbo 15:30 Film - Jane Eyre (PG) 17:45 Midsomer Murders 19:50 Sunday Night at the Palladium 20:55 Wycliffe 22:00 Joanna Lumley: The Search for Noah’s Ark 23:30 Birds of a Feather ITV4 13:25 Pawn Stars 15:15 The Car Chasers 16:20 Film - Red River (U) 19:00 British Touring Car Championship 2015 Review 21:00 Rugby Highlights 22:00 Film Eraser (15)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Tony De Love

Monday 9th November 07:15 My Life on a Plate 08:00 The Edge 08:45 Junior Bake Off 09:15 Escape to the Continent 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:45 A Taste of Britain 15:15 The Box 15:45 The Great British Bake Off 16:45 Wild China 17:45 The Wonder of Animals 18:15 Antiques 19:00 Roadshow Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Pick Me 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News

21:00 EastEnders Ronnie 20:00 Match of the Day pushes forward with her Live Live coverage of the plan to win over Dean draw for the second round of the FA Cup 21:30 Panorama Hackers have stolen the personal 20:30 Only Connect Quiz details of millions of cus- show tomers from a wide range of University 21:00 companies, so how do Challenge Quiz series for cyber criminals get hold of students the data? 21:30 Simply Nigella 22:00 Hugh’s War on Nigella The demonstrates Waste Hugh challenges the her favourite recipes for UK’s biggest retailers to sharing with family and friends give more of their surplus food to charity, and joins an 22:00 London Spy A illicit midnight raid to see romance between an MI6 what he can find in super- code genius and a man working dead-end jobs markets’ bins promises happiness for 23:00 News and Weather both, but tragedy strikes 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More 23:00 Live at the Apollo News for You 00:20 The 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Graham Norton Show The Railway: Keeping 01:05 Weather for the Britain on Track 01:15 The Week Ahead 01:10 BBC Apprentice 02:15 DIY SOS 03:15 This is BBC Two News

21:00 Countrywise Liz travels to the stunning South Wales coast where she discovers the health benefits of goat’s milk and Paul is in Britain’s newest National Park, the South Downs

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Wanted 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Housing Enforcers Neighbourhood 12:30 Blues 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Edge 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 My Life on a Plate 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 On Stage

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, it’s Aaron’s day in court and Victoria is annoyed to see that Adam and Andy are both going to attend to support him. When Aaron is asked for his plea, he locks eyes with Robert as he pleads ‘not guilty’. When Aaron is refused bail, Robert breaks the silence in court and goads him to ‘tell the truth’.

Robert takes it as an admission of guilt when Aaron says that Robert should have done everyone a favour and stayed dead. He is then bundled away by the security guards. Robert wonders if this really is Aaron’s admission of guilt.

The Courier TV Pull-out - 5

21:30 The Shopper’s Guide to Saving Money Dave Fishwick and Kate 21:30 Coronation Street Quilton investigate the true Ken tries to follow his heart value of products and serv22:00 Film The ices Hangover (15) Comedy about a group of friends 22:00 SAS: Who Dares who go to Las Vegas for a Wins The directing staff stag party and wake up to have to whittle the group find their hotel room is down to six from 11 and wrecked, the groom is have a surprising trick up missing and that they have their sleeve that they think no memory of the previous will cause some particinight’s events. Continues pants to instantly withdraw after the news 23:00 Fargo 00:10 Prison 23:00 News and Weather Night 01:35 Ramsay’s 23:40 Film - The Hangover Hotel Hell 02:25 Film (15) 00:40 The Job Lot Dedh Ishqiya (12) 04:55 Location, 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Location, Jeremy Kyle 05:05 ITV Location 05:55 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems Nightscreen she’s imagining things, pointing out that if they hadn’t buried Callum’s body, she’d now be serving a prison sentence. Having caught the tail end of the conversation, Gail is shocked...

In Coronation Street, Gail excitedly makes plans for her party to show off her new annexe. Kylie tells David that she can’t bring herself to attend as they’ll literally be dancing on Callum’s grave. David implores her to get a grip.

Meanwhile, Tracy arrives home to find Nessa and Ken getting cosy. She flies into a rage and accuses Ken of showing no respect for Deirdre. Ken is upset to realise that Emily and Rita disapprove of his relationship with Nessa too. Will it cause Ken to reconsider his fledgling relationship?

Convinced she can smell Callum’s rotting corpse, Kylie sniffs the annexe carpet. David tells her that

In part two, in a desperate attempt to put Gail off the scent, David tells her that Kylie is back on the drugs.

Kylie stares at him in disbelief.

Later, Gail hosts her party in the annexe. Emily and Sally compliment Gail on her colour scheme, while Tim knocks back the beer. Nick tells David that he’s heard about Kylie’s drug problem and he’ll do anything he can to help. David hugs Kylie and assures her that given time, the memory of Callum will fade and their marriage

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ice Road Truckers 13:10 News 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: New Orleans 16:15 When Calls the Heart 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 The Gadget Show Jon takes a look at the world of 3D printing, Ortis struggles through a gorefilled maze of zombies, Jason delves in the world of future gaming, and Amy meets the founder of Social Chain 21:00 Police Interceptors Kev and Steve go on the hunt for suspected heroin dealers and reveals a shocking way to rewire your house, while dog handler Liam attends the scene of a suspected arson attack 22:00 Benefits Documentary about people living on benefits in Yorkshire 23:00 Inside Holloway 00:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 01:00 2,000 Tattoos, 40 Piercings and a Pickled Ear 01:50 Super Casino 04:10 Pets Who Hate Vets 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 The Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor will get back to normal. In Eastenders, Ronnie tries to win Dean over, but her cunning plan is disrupted when she learns that Roxy is planning to move away from London with him. After an attempt to seek help from Mick fails, Ronnie agrees to support her sister’s plans and agrees to see whether she can buy Roxy’s share of the house. However, it later becomes clear that Ronnie has other ideas when she gives Billy the keys to Blades. She tells him that they’re going to put Dean out of business for good to make sure Roxy can’t leave.

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 Emmerdale 08:25 Coronation Street 09:30 Dinner Date 10:30 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Break-Up (12) 00:10 Celebrity Juice 01:00 Two and a Half Men 01:55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 02:20 The Vampire Diaries 03:05 The Hot Desk 03:15 Teleshopping (U) ITV3 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 George and Mildred 07:35 Heartbeat 08:40 Murder, She Wrote 09:35 Where the Heart is 10:40 Judge Judy 12:00 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 Wild at Heart 16:15 Where the Heart is 17:20 Doctor at Large 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Secret Smile 01:35 Inspector Morse 03:25 ITV3 Nightscreen ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 07:55 The Professionals 08:45 Minder 09:50 Magnum, PI 10:50 Gunsmoke 11:55 The Professionals 12:55 The Sweeney 14:00 Minder 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Gunsmoke 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 The Sweeney 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Motogp Highlights 22:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 23:00 Benidorm 00:00 Bundesliga 01:00 Rugby Highlights 02:00 Motorsport UK 03:00 Ax Men 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Tuesday 10th November

6 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Wanted 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Housing Enforcers 12:30 Neighbourhood Blues 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Edge 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 My Life on a Plate 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Ronnie and Dean continue to fight for Roxy 21:00 Holby City Mo is faced with handing William back to his one remaining parent. Sacha is challenged when he is put through the mill by a tricky patient’s case. Serena feels under par when she receives a wedding invitation from her ex-husband 22:00 River Following the murder in the public library, River and Ira must track down the killer. Their journey takes them deep into the world of the undocumented migrant community in London, a world of international hostels and immigration lawyers 23:00 News 23:35 Imagine 00:55 Film - The Mission (PG) 02:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:00 News

07:15 My Life on a Plate 08:00 The Edge 08:45 Junior Bake Off 09:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:45 Country Show Cook Off 15:15 The Box 15:45 The Great British Bake Off 16:45 Wild China 17:45 The Wonder of Animals 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul Rick’s gastronomic journey from Venice to Istanbul brings him to northern Greece 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals Six aspiring chefs compete in the cookery contest, beginning with a test of their basic skills 22:00 The Great Pottery Throw Down Nine passionate potters return to Stoke-on-Trent for more tests of their skills 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Earth’s Wildest Waters 01:15 Race to Super Bowl 50 02:00 Face of Britain by Simon Schama 03:00 Britain’s Ultimate Pilots: Inside the RAF 04:00 This is BBC Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Pick Me 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Ashley wrestles with his conscience 20:30 Deals, Wheels and Steals Mel competes with Chris for a Citroen C3, while Scott likes the look of a Volkswagen Polo 21:00 Eternal Glory This week sees the climax of the competition as just three athletes remain for the grand final 22:00 Lewis Lewis and Hathaway continue their investigation into the parcel bomb which killed eminent mathematician Adam Capstone. The case is sent into a spin when another bomb is discovered at the home of Adam’s brother David. Lewis fears that if he does not find the culprit and impress CS Moody, his time at Oxfordshire Police will come to an end 23:00 News and Weather 23:45 The Jonathan Ross Show 00:50 Benidorm 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen

20:00 Police Interceptors Kev and Steve go on the hunt for suspected heroin dealers and reveals a shocking way to rewire your house, while dog han21:00 The Secret Life of 4 dler Liam attends the Year Olds Cameras follow scene of a suspected the development of the arson attack youngsters’ emotional intelligence as they grapple 21:00 Loch Lomond: A in the Wild with their feelings and Year Documentary series featurthose of others ing the wildlife of Loch 22:00 24 Hours in A and E Lomond and Trossachs National Park in Scotland, Cyril was on his way home filmed across one year to wife Betty, but never made it back and had to be 22:00 Eamonn and Ruth: cut from his car How the Other Half Lives Eamonn and Ruth get to 23:00 Catastrophe 23:35 snoop around a multimilTattoo Fixers 00:35 My lionaire mansion worth Psychic Life 01:30 £20m, complete with its PokerstarsCom Shark own bowling alley, golf Cage 02:30 KOTV Boxing course, football pitch, swimming pool and cinema Weekly 02:55 Gillette World Sport 03:25 Mobil 1 23:00 CSI: Cyber 00:00 The Grid 03:55 The Mysteries of Laura Superscrimpers: Waste 01:45 Super Casino 04:10 Not, Want Not 04:50 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Location, Location, 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Location 05:45 Deal or No The Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor Deal

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Ashley tells Robert that he found a disturbed Andy in the graveyard. Robert wants to know what Andy said, but Ashley doesn’t tell him. Ashley then confronts a hungover Andy and tells him that he can’t see an innocent man go to jail. Andy begs him to forget their conversation for Jack and Sarah’s sake.

Later, Ashley confides in Laurel by revealing that he has information which could alter the outcome of the trial. She encourages him to do the right thing. Ashley decides to try persuading Andy to go to the police, but he accidentally rings Robert - leaving a voicemail message saying that he cannot justify sending an innocent man to jail. Meanwhile, Lawrence learns that Bernice has been discussing him with his daughter, leaving Bernice worried that she might have disclosed too much. Lawrence asks Edna about her relationship with Harold, who sug-

gests that being honest with Bernice would be the right way to handle it.

In Eastenders, when Dean discovers that Blades has been broken into, he angrily blames Roxy for leaving the keys in the door. However, he soon realises who really is to blame. Ronnie arrives at Dean’s flat shortly afterwards and realises that Dean has already caught

her out. Ronnie then finds herself in an impossible situation when Roxy returns.

gles to maintain focus when Nicole Brady is admitted to AAU asking for help.

Later, Mick returns to The Vic and finds Elaine and Babe in a full-blown argument in front of the customers. He puts Elaine in her place, causing her to get upset and pack her bags. Shortly afterwards, Carmel arrives to thank Mick for his help earlier and a livid Elaine soon realises that he has been seeing Shirley behind Linda’s back. Mick stands his ground and reminds Elaine that Shirley is his mum.

Nicole has been hiding from her violent husband Sean, who has found out that he’s not the father of their baby.

In Holby City, Cara strug-

Learning that the baby’s real father Jed has abandoned Nicole, Cara vows to help - and the story comes to its dramatic finale.

07:00 Gunsmoke 08:05 The Sweeney 09:05 Minder 10:05 Magnum, PI 11:10 Gunsmoke 12:15 The Professionals 13:15 Pawn Stars 13:45 Snooker: Champion of Champions Live 18:15 Storage Wars 18:45 Motogp Highlights 19:45 Snooker: Champion of Champions Live 00:15 Film - Smokin’ Aces (18) 02:25 Ax Men 03:25 Tommy Cooper 03:55 ITV4 Nightscreen

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Wednesday 11th November 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Wanted 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Two Minutes Silence 12:05 The Housing Enforcers 12:35 Neighbourhood Blues 13:20 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Edge 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 My Life on a Plate 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Cuffs With an escaped prisoner on the loose, Carl and Felix investigate a spate of muggings on public school boys. Meanwhile, Jo investigates a distressing case that brings Jake and Ryan to blows 22:00 The Apprentice Lord Sugar asks the teams to set up and run a handyman business. Armed with a van full of tools and a little elbow grease, the candidates are challenged to generate as much cash as possible in two days 23:00 BBC News and Weather 23:35 Live at the Apollo 00:05 Film - 2015 00:35 Film - Cabaret (15) 02:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:40 BBC News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Ashley approaches Andy in the café to see if he intends to go to the police. When Andy denies all knowledge of a message, Ashley checks his phone and is shaken to discover that he has sent the message to Robert in error. Soon afterwards, Robert

07:15 My Life on a Plate 08:00 The Edge 08:45 Junior Bake Off 09:15 See Hear 09:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 Lifeline 13:10 Coast 13:20 Film Carve Her Name with Pride (PG) 15:15 The Box 15:45 The Great British Bake Off 16:45 Wild Brazil 17:45 The Wonder of Animals 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul Rick arrives in the Greek Peloponnese and samples memorable dishes like rooster stew hilopites 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals Six chefs compete in the second heat, with the skills tests challenging three of them to create an omelette 22:00 Dominic Sandbrook: Let Us Entertain You Dominic explores the effects of the industrial revolution in Britain 23:00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 The Railway: Keeping Britain on Track 01:15 See Hear 01:45 Earth’s Wildest Waters 02:45 Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise (U) 03:45 This is BBC Two turns up at the scrapyard and questions Adam on who he thinks is responsible for the shooting. He suggests Andy, but Adam cannot accept that Andy could possibly be responsible for such a crime. Robert then rings Andy, saying they need to talk. The Sugden brothers soon find themselves in a heated exchange, with Andy finally making an admission regarding the shooting. Robert is determined to call the police, but the phone is knocked from his hand so Robert takes off in his car with Andy in hot pursuit. Soon it’s clear that Andy is determined to finish the job he started, as he sets his car off in a face-off pointing at

The Courier TV Pull-out - 7

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Pick Me 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News and Weather

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Benchmark 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Homes by the Sea 20:00 Emmerdale Nicola 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 gets a surprise on her Come Dine with Me 19:00 return The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:30 Coronation Street 20:55 Rory Peck Awards Tracy is suspicious of Liz and Tony 21:00 Restoring Britain’s 21:00 The Nation’s Favourite Beatles Number One Which of the Fab Four’s 27 chart-toppers from the UK and the US has been voted the nation’s favourite Beatles number one? From She Loves You to Hey Jude, Day Tripper to The Ballad of John and Yoko, and I Want to Hold Your Hand to Let It Be, the programme tells the stories behind some of the band’s most enduring hits, which were all written within an eightyear period in the 1960s 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:40 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 00:40 Wild Ireland 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Ejector Seat 04:50 ITV Nightscreen Robert’s vehicle. Is history set to repeat itself? Meanwhile, Nicola arrives home and goes straight to Mill Cottage. On discovering that her key no longer works, she tries to contact Jimmy but he is busy watching TV with Rodney and misses the call. Nicola storms round to the pub to find out what’s going on. Rodney and Jimmy arrive and Jimmy is left to explain that he’s sold the house. Nicola is furious when she hears where they are now supposed to be living. In Coronation Street, when Tracy clocks a look between Tony and Liz, she is immediately suspicious. Liz tells Tony that if they’re

Landmarks The restoration of St Edward’s Presbytery begins, a Grade I masterpiece which was designed and owned by architect Augustus Pugin

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ice Road Truckers 13:10 News 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 When Calls the Heart 18:30 News 18:00 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 World’s Tallest Towers The 610-metre Canton Tower is the tallest television tower on the planet. This documentary explores the engineering breakthroughs behind its construction Behind GPs: 21:00 Closed Doors Dr Beecraft sends a patient to A&E with what could be a potentially life-threatening blood clot

22:00 Grand Designs Kevin McCloud explores more inspiring homes in the running for the Riba House of the Year Award, before revealing which one has made it onto the shortlist

22:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away In Essex, a negligent tenant flees the premises when Paul and Phil arrive to evict him and in north London, Paul and Steve are forced to play Mr Nice and Mr Nasty when a tenant refuses to leave his rental home

23:00 Peep Show 23:35 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:35 24 Hours in A and E 01:30 Film - The Insider (15) 04:15 Film - A Tale of Samurai Cooking: A True Love Story (U)

23:00 Autopsy 00:00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 01:45 Super Casino Tarrant: Chris 04:10 Extreme Railway Journeys 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 The Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor

to have any future, he has to cut all ties with Tracy. Tony then breaks the news to Tracy that he wants out of the business and he’ll sell his share for £6,000.

Convinced there is something going on between Tony and Liz, Tracy confronts Liz. She figures out that Liz is back with Tony and has ordered him to pull the plug on Barlow’s

Buys, but Liz denies all knowledge. Tracy assures Tony that she wants his share of the business and she’ll find the money. Later, Tony reveals his plan to Liz to clear out the Barlow’s Buys joint account! Elsewhere, David books a fake appointment for Kylie with her drugs counsellor. Audrey reluctantly gives her the afternoon off. Kylie is annoyed, but David points out that she’s free to enjoy herself and it makes their story look more convincing. Following some time on her own, will Kylie feel ready to put Callum’s death behind them and pull together as a family?

07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 You’ve Been Framed 09:05 Dinner Date 10:05 Psych 11:05 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 The Cube 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here 23:00 Release the Hounds 00:00 The Vampire Diaries 01:00 Tricked 02:00 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Release the Hounds 03:20 Teleshopping ITV3 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 George and Mildred 07:35 Heartbeat 08:40 Murder, She Wrote 09:35 Where the Heart is 10:40 Judge Judy 12:00 A Touch of Frost 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 Wild at Heart 16:15 Where the Heart is 17:20 Doctor at Large 17:50 On the Buses 18:25 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:05 Wycliffe 01:10 A Touch of Frost 03:05 Judge Judy 03:30 Teleshopping ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 08:05 The Sweeney 09:05 Minder 10:10 Magnum, PI 11:15 The Big Fish Off 12:15 The Chase 13:15 Pawn Stars 13:45 Snooker: Champion of Champions Live 18:15 The Professionals 19:15 Storage Wars 19:45 Snooker: Champion of Champions Live 00:15 Film - Raw Deal (18) 02:25 Minder 03:30 Nitro Circus 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Thursday 12th November

8 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Wanted 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Housing Enforcers 12:30 Neighbourhood Blues 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Edge 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 My Life on a Plate 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Ronnie, Roxy and Dean reach breaking point 21:00 Tom Jones and Rob Brydon: One Big Night for Children in Need Sir Tom Jones and Rob Brydon join forces for a spectacular night of music and comedy in aid of BBC Children in Need. With special guest appearances by David Walliams, Jessica Hynes and Steve Coogan, who stars alongside Rob Brydon in a oneoff Tom Jones-themed mini-episode of The Trip 22:30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Agnes is disappointed with Cathy when she decides to get a boob job to impress her boyfriend, Professor Clowne 23:00 News 23:35 Question Time 00:35 Stacey Dooley Investigates 01:35 Holiday Weatherview 01:40 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Robert and Andy both rev their cars and seem determined to drive at each other straight to the death. At the last minute, Robert swerves but Andy doesn’t deviate from his trajectory. Both cars plough off the road, crashing hard. Robert smashes into a field with a haystack, while

07:15 My Life on a Plate 08:00 The Edge 08:45 Junior Bake Off 09:15 The Great British Bake Off Masterclass 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC News 13:00 Film - Advise and Consent (12) 15:15 The Box 15:45 The Great British Bake Off 16:45 Wild Brazil 17:45 The Wonder of Animals 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul On the Cesme Peninsula, Rick enjoys creamy Armola cheese matured in goat skins 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals Six chefs battle it out in the first quarter-final, in which the judges ask them to make dishes of their own invention from a selection of ingredients 22:00 The Last Kingdom Uhtred’s relationship with Alfred hits a new low when the king invites Uhtred to peace talks 23:00 Russell Howard’s Good News 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Dominic Sandbrook: Let Us Entertain You 01:15 Panorama 01:45 The Celts 02:45 Doctor Who 03:30 This is BBC Two Andy’s Land Rover flips after hitting a wall. Will they survive? Meanwhile, Nicola continues with her protest at Mill Cottage. Following an angry verbal confrontation with Jimmy, she begins throwing all of Priya’s shoes out of the window. Jimmy realises that he will have to up his game to try to win Nicola back. As the memory of his Top Gun performance comes rushing back, he realises his next ploy has to be something more impressive as his eyes descend on a watermelon! Later, Laurel confides in Nicola that she is an alcoholic and Nicola discloses the real reason she is back from Dubai early.

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Pick Me 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale It is showdown time for the Sugden brothers 20:30 Tonight Jonathan Maitland investigates Britain’s housing shortage and asks what can be done to help those most in need 21:00 Emmerdale Megan’s secret is out 21:30 Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs Paul O’Grady meets more of the canine residents at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home who are looking for love, help, understanding and a new home 22:00 Unforgotten As Cassie and Sunny’s investigation into Jimmy’s death concludes, Father Robert finds that revealing the truth has lasting repercussions, especially when his daughter Caroline goes into premature labour 23:00 News and Weather 23:40 The Cube 00:40 Birds of a Feather 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen Elsewhere, Ashley’s memory continues to cause problems when he forgets to collect Sandy’s medication so begins to use a notebook. It’s clear that keeping his life together is proving to be ever more difficult.

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Benchmark 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Homes by the Sea 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:55 Rory Peck Awards 21:00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces George joins forces with up-cycling expert Max McMurdo. Max dreams of becoming mortgage-free by selling his house and using the £50,000 profit to build a custom designed floating home in a 40ft shipping container 22:00 Kitchen Impossible with Michel Roux Jr Michel sends the trainees on placements to kitchens, hotels and restaurants across London - at real companies with real bosses 23:00 First Dates 00:05 Gogglebox 01:05 SAS: Who Dares Wins 02:05 Embarrassing Bodies 03:00 Dispatches 03:30 Four Rooms 04:25 Location, Location, Location 05:20 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 05:40 Deal or No Deal Ronnie arrives and apologises for her earlier behaviour. With Roxy back on side, Ronnie takes matters into her own hands and attempts to show Roxy what Dean is really like but will her plan work?

Also, Sam agrees to accompany Megan to her baby scan, but she has to head off alone when her appointment gets delayed. In Eastenders, Ronnie urges the other Mitchells to intervene as Roxy and Dean celebrate their engagement. Ignoring all disapproval, Roxy pushes forward with plans for her engagement party. Later, Roxy and Dean are both shocked when

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ice Road Truckers 13:10 News 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:15 When Calls the Heart 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Secrets of Great British Castles Dan Jones explores the history of Warwick Castle, which started as a motte and bailey fort established by William the Conqueror in 1068 21:00 Spring Break Shark Attack In spring 2012, three surfers along Florida’s mid-Atlantic coast were savaged within 24 hours. But was a rogue shark really to blame? 22:00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the UK Ben meets the Mason family, who six years ago gave up their London council house in favour of four acres of overgrown agricultural land in Devon 23:00 Film - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (PG) 01:50 Super Casino 04:10 Ice Road Truckers 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor he catches the pair spending time together. Later at Roxy’s engagement party, a drunken Lee confronts Shirley and causes a commotion, forcing Buster to step in. Linda returns and is stunned by what she sees. Elsewhere, Nancy and Tamwar discuss his religion causing Nancy to grow curious. Also today, Kim has spent the night with Vincent but remains torn over whether or not she should give him another chance.

Meanwhile, Elaine forces Mick to admit the truth about Shirley to his family, leaving both Nancy and Lee upset. Buster also discovers their secret when

Finally, Billy reels from the message he left for Honey. Later, Billy is surprised when a familiar face returns to the Square.

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:05 Dinner Date 10:05 Psych 11:05 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 The Xtra Factor 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 00:20 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 00:50 Two and a Half Men 01:40 The Job Lot 02:05 Viral Tap 02:40 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 03:05 Animal Practice ITV3 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 George and Mildred 07:35 Heartbeat 08:35 Murder, She Wrote 09:35 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:10 Doctor at Large 17:45 On the Buses 18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 20:55 Rosemary and Thyme 22:00 Paul O’Grady’s Animal Orphans 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Wycliffe 01:10 A Touch of Frost ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 08:05 The Sweeney 09:05 Minder 10:05 Magnum, PI 11:10 Gunsmoke 12:15 The Professionals 13:15 Storage Wars 13:45 Snooker: Champion of Champions Live 18:15 The Professionals 19:15 Storage Wars 19:45 Snooker: Champion of Champions Live 00:15 Film - The Wicker Man (15) 02:00 Ax Men

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

The Courier TV Pull-out - 9

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI

Great TV comedy often works because of partnerships and combinations, sometimes unexpected, which give us an enjoyable watch, and I’m pleased to report that two fine examples are gracing our screens again. The best new comedy of 2015, alongside Cradle to Grave, has been rushed into this autumn’s schedules, as Channel Four(and the viewers) were so pleased by this year’s first run of Catastrophe. I‘m pleased to say that series two is maintaining the high standards of earlier this year. The success of the show is all down to the partnership of Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney who play a couple that were forced to become an item after a one night stand led to a pregnancy. It’s Horgan and Delaney’s show for so many reasons, as they met on a social media site a few years ago to exchange comedy ideas, and eventually they creat-

Autumn Laughs Aplenty

ed Catastrophe, as well as writing the scripts and executive producing the programme. The effect is all to be seen on screen in a real natural setting as they just look and talk as an actual couple with wonderful naughty lines. It’s just totally believable. They’ve also played a clever trick in fast-forwarding series two to a time when they’ve married and Sharon has just given birth to a second baby. It’s sharp and witty, plus some barbed lines a plenty for Rob’s mother, played by Carrie Fisher as the icing on the cake. There’s tons of likeability for Catastrophe and I’ll eat my hat if it doesn’t walk away with the best scripted comedy award at next spring’s BAFTA presentations. This year’s deserved winner was the gentle Detectorists and it’s so good to see this return as well. It’s hidden away on BBC4, but try and find it,

Aries March 21-April 20 This week’s meeting between your ruler, Mars, and subtle, diplomatic Venus is due to help you find a way to overcome opposition to your plans from someone close. If you take the line of least resistance and let them feel they call the tune, you can avoid a potential problem. You could also start to see the situation in a very different light.

Taurus April 21-May 21 Being ruled by gentle, easy-going Venus, you usually achieve your goals by being tactful and persuasive, but the pattern of the stars this week suggests the time has come to take a more direct approach. You have a clear idea of what needs changing in a close relationship or friendship. All you need to do is spell out where you really stand.

Gemini May 22-June 21 Spending extra time with someone close could help you reach a new agreement with them, so make your private life your top priority this week. With Venus in your chart’s domestic zone, you can create a happy atmosphere around you and leave certain problems in the past. Make contact with an old friend later in the week.

Cancer June 22-July 23 If you have been hoping for a chance to win somebody over or talk your situation through, this is the right time to make the move and break the ice. With so much action in your chart’s communication zone, you are at your most clear-headed and persuasive. Once you show your hand, you could well find the battle is as good as won.

because it features a partnership between Mackenzie Crook and Toby Jones who are a couple of metal detecting fans who never seem to come up with anything. It’s a real “odd couple” pairing and works, and full credit to Crook who writes the show as well as directing it. It’s just a perfect observation on friends and family with some great lines, and like with Catastrophe, totally believable. Crook was offered big bucks to do the

latest Pirates of Caribbean movie, but instead chose to do a second series of Detectorists. Good for him and the only thing wrong is that a wider audience has not discovered this little gem. By the way, isn’t it good to have two high quality British comedies on the air at the same time of the year? I whizzed around the channels last Friday and caught a few minutes of Citizen Khan on BBC1. To be fair I switched off during

Leo July 24-August 23 Lucky Venus and decisive Mars give you the insight and determination to solve cashflow problems that have held you back, or to win support for a new project. Be clear about your goals, and do not settle for shortterm solutions or let existing work commitments limit your horizons. A colleague could turn out to be an unexpected ally.

Virgo August 24-September 23 The only thing you can do wrong this week is fail to take advantage of the opportunities for growth and change around you, so banish any recent doubts and plan to live life to the full. This weekend’s meeting between Mars and Venus in your sign marks a major turning point in a close alliance or new friendship. Let no one make decisions for you now.

Libra September 24-October 23 The dynamic planet, Mars, gives you the energy and motivation to make choices that you have postponed. If you stop weighing up the pros and cons and take decisive action, you could find that recent fears were groundless. You could also find that someone is prepared to offer you the feedback and support you had been hoping for.

Scorpio October 24-November 22 This weekend’s meeting between Mars and Venus, the planets of romance and pleasure, in the area of your skies that rules your social life, suggests that a new friendship could soon go from strength to strength. Something you discover later in the week will help you get your bearings in the new terrain.

the first series, and it’s still a cheap collection of racist jokes being blabbed by people who can get away with it because of their background. Having said that, Khan himself, Adil Ray, popped up for a few minutes with Chris Evans on TFI Friday, where Duran Duran were one of the guests. Ray topped anything in his own programme with the line: “Duran Duran, it should be Koran Koran!” Imagine a white guy saying that and not getting a lynching! Five years after the stupid axing of The Bill, and a collection of duds like City Central and Holby Blue, we may just have a decent UK cop show again. Cuffs is only on for eight weeks on BBC1 but it’s an entertaining location shoot in Brighton, with a new rookie copper (who happens to be son of the boss) being taken under the wing of the experienced Ashley Walters. It’s always a tough

ask when you have so many new characters plus plots to weave in, but so far, so good, and there’ve been well-staged chases to enjoy as well. If you want to see a top actress or actor running a show, then check out the return of two high-grade US dramas. Season three of The Blacklist (on Sky Living) has produced a terrific start in the opening two episodes. I won’t bore you with the plot details but find it now and bring yourself up to date anyway you can. Then enjoy the lead performance of James Spader who dominates the show with some hilarious lines, often ad-libbed. The same applies to Viola Davis, who won an Emmy in September for her role in How To Get Away With Murder (Universal Channel UK). It’s all about her sheer screen dominance, as well having some fun keeping up with the zillion plot lines and twists.

Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Your current career plan has got the stars behind it, so trust your judgment and take full advantage of the opportunities that come your way to push through major changes. You also have a real sixth sense for others’ motives, which could help you sidestep problems that you could not have foreseen. Let no one make decisions for you.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20 You could find you share unexpected common ground with someone you spend time with. It also seems that they could have a lot to offer, or tell you something you badly need to know. A certain situation is not cast in stone, so trust your judgement and take action when you feel the time is right. You stand to gain far more than you could lose.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19 If you choose your words with care, you can win support from someone who can help you solve a recent problem. With decisive Mars and diplomatic Venus now in tune, you are at your most persuasive, so do not hesitate to ask for what you want this time around. A conversation later in the week could give you extra ammunition.

Pisces February 20 - March 20 Mars and Venus, the planets that rule passion and romance, meet up in the skies this week to help you forge a deeper bond with someone close. An unexpected sequence of events or twist of fate is also due to make you see how strong your hand is in a situation that preoccupies you now. Trust advice from an old friend later in the week.

10 - The Courier TV Pull-out

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 4 represents Q and 10 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1/1D Closely cropped hairstyle (4,3) 3 Devout (5) 8 Piece of land (7) 9 End parts of sleeves (5) 10 Fashion (5) 11 Deduce (7) 12 Demand (6) 14 Jockey shorts (6) 17 Betrayer (7) 19 Crush (5) 21 Sharp metal projection (5) 22 Discolour (7) 24 Tiny arachnids (5) 25 Joke (4)

1 See 1 Across 2 Ahead of time (5) 3 Penalise (6) 4 Happen (5) 5 Be enough (7) 6 Tags (6) 7 Evaluates (8) 10 Light-headed (8) 13 Sports ground (7) 15 Account (6) 16 Free (6) 18 Robbery (5) 20 Select group (5) 23 Head covering (3)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Sociable, 5 Pass, 9 Bliss, 10 Premier, 11 Odd, 12 Infer, 13 Scary, 14 Bigot, 17 Year, 19 Mesh, 21 Spent, 24 Stout, 25 Incur, 27 Cot, 28 Regatta, 29 Terse, 30 Mate, 31 Fearless. Down: 1 Subsidy, 2 Chief, 3 Absorb, 4 Lapdog, 6 Agitate, 7 Sorry, 8 Feast, 15 Imp, 16 Own, 18 Amongst, 20 Harness, 21 State, 22 Escape, 23 Titter, 24 Scram, 26 Carve.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

Down CRYTPIC CLUES 1 We use Sid to write lyric Across 8 Doctor with a jab, not poetry for us (5) 2 The Queen brings in completely harsh (7) 9 I love messy, oily one (5) ‘Rule Britannia’ composer 10 Not exactly the nicest for profitable scheme (6) 3 Start playing new super day for our group (9) kit (6,2) 11 Does Royal Mail accept 4 A predicament caused by payment in fish? (3) disorderly capers (6) 12 Rail transport that is 5 Greater rebuilt Rome (4) intended for cheese (4) 6 Spiteful times concealing 13 Before much time has desire (6) elapsed a nobleman takes 7 Sheet used to cultivate flowers (7) that over there (5,2) 14 Takes into account the 16 Pickpocket is returning appearance of spectres (8) to fashionable flat (7) 15 Musician paints his 19 Couch from the Courts heart out (7) of Appeal (4) 17 Television show that 22 Ron goes back for con- sounds corny? (6) 18 Force the last of you junction (3) 23 Fine pottery, or a pencil, into evening wear (6) 20 Ensign aboard vessel? perhaps (9) (6) 24 The road to the rescue 21 Chef in kitchen returns boat is harsh (5) with a weapon (5) 25 Starts with groups over 23 Keep making a little dog the side (4,3) (4) STANDARD CLUES Down Across 1 Type of poet (5) 8 Forceful and extreme and 2 Breadwinner (6) 3 Start playing music (6,2) rigorous (7) 4 Scratch repeatedly (6) 9 Small green fruit (5) 5 Additional (4) 10 Association (9) 6 Spitefully critical (6) 11 Food fish (3) 7 Straw in a stable (7) 12 French cheese (4) 14 Esteems (8) 13 From the start (5,2) 15 Type of musician (7) 16 Tasteless (7) 17 Continuing story (6) 19 Settee (4) 18 Compulsory force or 22 Neither (3) threat (6) 23 Ceramic ware (9) 20 Large wine bottle (6) 21 Cutting instrument (5) 24 Bare (5) 23 Chinese lap dog (4) 25 Detonates (4,3) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Smew, 4 Athos, 9 Israeli, 10 Blini, 11 Hated, 12 Bayonet, 13 Stolen, 15 Hot rod, 19 Pitcher, 21 Elbow, 23 Gamma, 24 Braille, 25 Nidus, 26 Mayo. Down: 2 Merit, 3 Wheedle, 4 Akimbo, 5 Hobby, 6 Spinner, 7 Lights, 8 Gift, 14 Ottoman, 16 Over arm, 17 Downer, 18 Tribes, 19 Page, 20 Hoard, 22 Billy.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Doe Hem Ire 4 letter words Ages Aide Ales Alga Anti Arch Bent Cued Dice Dogs Dole

Done Edge Espy Even Gods Hire Lava Lest Lode Mods Nook Ocas Odds Once Ones Open Pale Scud

Shoe Skat Slab Step Tale Team Toed 5 letter words Angst Anode Bevel Canoe Coals Deedy Deter Domes Early

Ennui Enrol Epics Gelid Idler Indie Kudos Nosed Onion Recap Rheas Ridge Roach Seeds Tools Ulcer 6 letter words

Astral Beside Darnel Eatery Heresy Horses Redeye Spotty 7 letter words Altered Passkey Seeders Uveitis 8 letter words Pastoral Personal

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Médico (6) 4 Pajitas (para beber) (6) 7 Esencial (9) 9 Este (costa) (4) 10 Mentiroso (4) 11 Glasses (for drinking) (5) 13 Trains (railway) (6) 14 Envelopes (6) 15 To put out (fire, candle, match) (6) 17 Tormentas (6) 19 Sexos (géneros) (5) 20 Wave (in sea, lake) (4) 22 Silk (4) 23 Olives (9) 24 Linen cupboard (6) 25 Rescate (en incendio, naufragio) (6)

Down 1 Derrota (6) 2 Prueba (análisis) (4) 3 Wheels (6) 4 Places (6) 5 Royal (4) 6 Tiburones (zoológico) (6) 7 Emerald (9) 8 Bibliotecas (edificios) (9) 11 Candles (5) 12 Clasifica (5) 15 To worship (6) 16 Receipt (6) 17 To follow (pursue) (6) 18 Estatua (6) 21 Dolor (4) 22 Sierras (herramientas) (4)

The Courier TV Pull-out - 11 Across 1/26 Time at the beginning and end of the working day when many people are travelling to or from work (4,4) 3 Large dark winged insect, the male of which has large branched jaws that resemble antlers (4,6) 10 American name for babies’ nappies (7) 11 Person who holds the position of head of the government in the UK (7) 12 Document certifying the successful completion of a course of study (7) 13 American name for a long, thin, cheap cigar (6) 15 Hard creamy-white substance composing the main part of the tusks of an elephant, walrus or narwhal (5) 16 Mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrass-

ing (9) 18 Large semi aquatic reptile similar to a crocodile but with a broader and shorter head, native to the Americas and China (9) 21 Surname of the last woman to be executed in the UK (5) 23 Fastest pace of a horse or other quadruped, with all the feet off the ground together in each stride (6) 25 Smallest of the four main islands of Japan (7) 27 Stone pillar having a rectangular cross section tapering towards a pyramidal top (7) 28 Japanese island that was the scene of a campaign in the closing days of World War II in the Pacific (April to June 1945) (7) 29 Joe South song that was a UK Top 20 hit single for both Lynn Anderson and New World in 1971 (4,6) 30 Edge tool used to cut

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

and shape wood (4) Down 1 Migratory butterfly that

has dark wings marked with red bands and white spots (3,7) 2 1975 American satiri-

cal romantic comedy film starring Warren Beatty as George Roundy, a successful Beverly Hills hairdresser (7) 4 Legal document declaring a person’s wishes regarding the disposal of their property when they die (9) 5 Stares with one’s mouth open wide in amazement or wonder (5) 6 Something that is very ugly, especially a building (7) 7 Capital and largest city of Georgia on the Kura river (7) 8 American poet and critic, resident in Europe between 1908 and 1945, whose notable works include Hugh Selwyn Mauberley (1920) and Cantos (series, 1917–70): ---- Pound (4) 9 Song from the musical Cats that has been a UK hit single for Elaine Paige (twice) and Barbra

Streisand (6) 14 Deprive a man of his male role or identity (10) 17 Apparatus consisting of a tube attached to a set of mirrors or prisms, by which an observer, typically in a submerged submarine or behind a high obstacle, can see things that are otherwise out of sight (9) 19 Leather shoes shaped like moccasins, with flat heels (7) 20 Castrated male horse (7) 21 Hypothetical substance that the alchemists believed to be capable of changing base metals into gold (6) 22 Large feline of African and Asian forests usually having a tawny coat with black spots (7) 24 UK number one hit single in 2009 for Lady Gaga: ----- Face (5) 26 See 1 Across

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

REGALOS - PRESENTS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

abrir

la caja

agradecer

la fiesta

celebrar

la sorpresa

el champán

la tarjeta

el cumpleaños

la tarta

el moño

los chocolates

el papel de regalo

flores

felicitar

sonreir

geography QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. San Diego 2. Wellington 3. Mexico City 4. Burma 5. London 6. Finland 7. Addis Ababa 8. China (16) 9. The Singapore Sling 10. Sea of Japan 11. Kilimanjaro 12. Ecuador 13. Portugese 14. Bengal 15. Paris

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Test tube, 5 Skates, 10 Charmer, 11 O’Connor, 12 Alias, 13 Anchorage, 14 Power Station, 18 Travel agents, 21 Tentacles, 23 Crane, 24 Have A Go, 25 Utopian, 26 Salute, 27 Tenement. Down: 1 Tictac, 2 Stalin, 3 Tombstone, 4 Barrage balloon, 6 Kyoto, 7 Tanzania, 8 Sergeant, 9 Worcester sauce, 15 Artichoke, 16 Stitches, 17 Carnival, 19 Malice, 20 Rennet, 22 Abaft.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.abrir, 2.agradecer, 3.celebrar,

15.flores, 16.sonreir.

j.to open, k.to smile, l.flowers,

4.el champán, 5.el cumpleaños,

a.the card, b.the box,

m.the bow, n.the surprise,

6.el moño, 7.el papel de regalo,

c.the birthday, d.the chocolates,

o.the wrapping paper,

8.felicitar, 9.la caja, 10.la fiesta,

e.the cake, f.to celebrate,

p.to thank.

11.la sorpresa, 12.la tarjeta,

g.to congratulate,

13.la tarta, 14.los chocolates,

h.the champagne, i.the party,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1j, 2p, 3f, 4h, 5c, 6m, 7o, 8g, 9b, 10i, 11n, 12a, 13e, 14d, 15l, 16k.

1. If you landed at Lindberg airport where are you? 2. Which City Is The Capital Of New Zealand? 3. What's the oldest capital city in the Americas? 4. In what country is Mandalay? 5. What Is The Most Popular English City? 6. Suomi is the name the natives give to what country? 7. What Is The Capital Of Ethiopia Called? 8. Which Country Has The Most Countries Bordering It? 9. Which Famous Cocktail Was Invented At The Raffles Hotel In The Far East Around 1910? 10. Vladivostok stands on what body of water? 11. Which East African Mountain Has A Swahili Name Mountain Of The God Of Cold? 12. Guayaquil is the largest city in what country? 13. What Nationality Was Vasco Da Gama? 14. Into what bay does the Ganges River flow? 15. where is le Figaro published?

Fill It In

Friday 6th November 2015

Lifestyle

Friday 6th November 2015

Fashion? Disaster? - You Decide! Some of the hottest celebs are rocking the latest fashion trends... Or are they?

Sandra Bullock works a red suit, but the shrunken trouser look is not one thatÂ´s too easy to carry off.

Miranda Kerr loves to belt up, but the idea of holding up the trousers seems to have been lost along the way.

Back to school for singing model Zendaya, although the formal-look Bermuda shorts do ad an air of mystery.

Kendall Jenner might catch a chill on her kidneys with this outfit, or she could go full-on Bet Gilroy!

More belt wearing by Eva Longoria, although at least it seems to fit a purpose this time.

Jennifer Aniston wears the drop-crotch trouser combo, although some might question the look... Big pockets.

The O'Brien Language Centre When you walk into the O'Brien Language Centre in San Miguel you could find yourself in the middle of a lively junior-school aged group of youngsters busily learning English by singing along with their teacher, Carys, or joining an adult class of Spanish nationals who are enthusiastically practising their newly-found skills with Derek. In between these two groups you could just as easily be listening to teenagers getting to grips with their English, Maths, History, Geography and Religion courses in preparation for their up-coming IGCSE exams. Kim might be encouraging her class to be even more computer-literate than they already are, or delivering lessons around her Business Studies course. Sabrina will be focusing on Spanish nationals in her classes as well as getting Derek and Kim to progress further than 'Buenos Dias' in their own in-house lessons. John O'Brien himself might be encouraging his A Level or IGCSE Sociology and Leisure and Tourism students to improve their chances by producing even better-quality coursework. With a 68% pass rate in last year's exams, followed by the recent award ceremony in the centre, hopes are extremely high for a similar or better success rate in 2016. Students and staff are not desk-bound, though. They used the surrounding area to put classroom learning into practical experience last year by spending a day working in the Moratalla hills, another at La Mata beach as well as investigating the commercial activity in Torrevieja. Plans are already in place to visit Benidorm to improve students' chances in their writing-up of relevant coursework. No student in the UK is likely to have THAT opportunity. When John is not teaching, he meets with potential students and parents to discuss individual students' needs and because the Centre operates a flexible timetable and financial package, these needs are usually met. If there is one proof that students both enjoy and achieve, then it is the feedback they give on an unsolicited basis. Nothing pleases the staff more than a surprise phone call to say that what they did with the O'Brien staff did, in fact, give them the expertise, confidence and qualifications to progress in their chosen fields. If you would like further information on any of the various courses offered at our examination centre, why not contact the office on 965076678 or 615466398 or theobrienlanguagecentre@gmail.com

Lifestyle

Friday 6th November 2015

10 ways to deal with lost luggage It can happen to anyone, even airline bosses. So following the admission by Alaska Airlines CEO, Brad Tilden, that his own airline failed to get his luggage to the same airport as him, Skyscanner.net has offered their Top-10 airline luggage tips. 1. Keep it simple We understand the allure of designer luggage. The desire to splurge your hard earned cash on the Cadillac of suitcases. Something that screams quality, is easy to maneouvre and has more compartments than the Venice-Simplon express. But remember that the nicer your luggage, the more irresistable it’s going to be to the light-fingered fraternity. Play it safe, choose a less flashy bag and the chances of it being “accidentally” picked up by the wrong person are much lower. 2. Avoid an identity crisis Now that you’ve gone out of your way to avoid attracting attention with fancy designer luggage, you need to make sure no-one picks up your lookalike bag by mistake. Avoid an identity crisis by making sure nobody can mistake your bag for theirs. Here are a few suggestions: tie a bright red scarf around the handle; attach sticky labels everywhere and mark your name on them with highlighters – the brighter the

better; buy a colourful luggage strap to wrap around your bags (there are several brands available) or get creative with some neon duct tape. Believe us, thieves will avoid your work of art in favour of something more discreet. 3. Your phone is your best friend Your flight has been exhausting and you casually snooze off in your taxi ride to your hotel. When you get there jetlag has kicked in and you are so confused that you pay and get off… but forget your suitcase! Be smart. Before falling asleep, ask the taxi driver how long the ride should take and set up an alarm on your phone to wake you up with the word “LUGGAGE” in capital letters. When it goes off, you may be a bit drowsy but, hey, there is no way you will leave your suitcase behind. 4. Good Karma You’ve made it to the final leg of your journey, but you’re the last one standing at the conveyor belt and your bag still hasn’t shown up. Oh no, not me! You trudge your weary way over to the airline desk, frustrated, angry and ready to complain. But remember, the person on duty is just as tired and frustrated as you. Top tip: breath in, be positive and friendly. A smile and a "thank you" will make them much more

eager to help reunite you with your luggage. 5. Avoid flashy padlocks In our own experience, a big and bright Green flashy padlock attached to your suitcase will not avoid it getting lost. Au contraire, once you have checked it in and it’s out of your sight for hours that padlock is seriously drawing too much attention. Some people would even go to the

luggage label ID matches your flight number and destination – human errors can happen! Checking now could save lots of pain later. And don’t lose it – sticking the label slip to your passport is a good way to keep hold of it. This tiny piece of sticky label is the only way the airline can help you find your bag should it go astray.

lengths of breaking it to figure out what is it exactly that you are trying to hide. Don’t make it look like you are carrying something valuable. 6. Check your luggage labels After you’ve checked in your suitcase, the airline attendant sends it off and you’re ready to begin your holiday. But just before you reach for that Pina Colada, ask to quickly check that your

And don’t forget to check the label at the other end, as you take your luggage off the conveyor belt. Although the bag may look exactly like yours, you’ll be mightily disappointed if you get to your hotel and lift out the wrong swimming cossie. What takes two seconds can save you two hours schlepping back to the airport. 7. Divide and conquer If you’re not travelling

alone, one way to minimise the pain of lost luggage is by dividing your belongings between suitcases. Having some of your clothes is certainly better than none of them if you’re unlucky enough to have one of the suitcases disappear. Just remember to distribute your clothes evenly between bags – 5 pairs of trousers is a little pointless if the case with all of your t-shirts has gone missing. Dividing luggage is especially helpful on long-haul holidays where the airline may only fly there a couple of times a week. Getting your luggage back to you may take the same time as your holiday duration, so even with the best will in the world, you may not be reunited with your items until you get home again. 8. Be prepared for any lost-luggage eventuality! Although it feels a little OTT, researching and printing out the contact numbers for the airline is a good way to minimise the stress when you land at your destination and find your luggage is on holiday somewhere else. The baggage handlers at the airport are there to help you, but relocating your luggage and getting it back to you is the responsibility of the airline. Having a number ready to hand can save time (and money browsing the internet on your phone!) and can

hopefully get you one step closer to reuniting with your luggage. This is particularly helpful when airlines don’t have airline desks at the airport and you’re feeling a little lost and alone! You can carry the most essential items in your hand luggage, but make sure you have the Right Size Cabin bag to ensure a smooth check-in. 9. Listen to your mother You may not want to admit it, but your mother was right. Never, ever, stash important documents, cash, credit cards etc. into your luggage. You can live (for a while) without your clothes or toiletries, but being marooned at your hotel with no money for food and drink, or worse, being stranded at the airport without a passport, is a mug’s game. 10. Get technology on your case We admit that even if you follow the above helpful hints, there’s no cast iron guarantee your luggage won’t go missing. But if the worst should happen, there are some great high-tech ways to find it again. A simple luggage tracker, like TRACE ME, which integrates with the worldwide airline baggage system. Smart tags with microchips embedded in them, like the ReboundTag. Or try the ultimate in luggage protection systems, Bag2Go?

Lifestyle

Friday 6th November 2015

Babies Can Give You Hope, Happiness And Purpose Parenting is such an enormous task that you end up having to fit everything else in your life around it

New parents are boring. To paraphrase my fifthfavourite internet commenter go-to line, new parents all think they’re the first people ever to have children. But that happens for a perfectly good reason. Parenting is huge. It’s a monolith in your living room that appears out of nowhere. It’s an elephant in a phonebox. It’s the app that drains your battery by lunchtime.

Parenting will suck as much out of you as you allow. If you’re not careful – if you don’t manage to find room for anything else – it can drain you completely. If you work, you’ll spend your days tired and distracted. If you stay at home, you’ll feel lonely and isolated. Your relationship with your partner will graduate from constant lovelorn messages to semi-regular func-

tional requests to the occasional grunt of acknowledgement as you pass each other in the hallway. If you let yourself, you’ll find yourself utterly enslaved by the needs of this new machine that’s taken over your life. I am having a bad week. An unbelievably rotten turd of a week, possibly one of the worst of my life. Something has happened in the family that I’ll proba-

bly feel more comfortable discussing once a little distance has opened up, but as I write this is dominating the majority of my waking actions. Had I encountered a week like this a year ago, before the baby came along, I know exactly how I would have reacted. The shutters would have slammed down. I’d have spent all my free time isolated from the rest of the world, sitting around sullenly in my own filth. Admittedly as a work-fromhome freelance writer, sitting around sullenly in my own filth is essentially the sum total of my job description, but it probably isn’t the time to get bogged down in technicalities. However, I am now a parent. And, to reiterate, parenting is such an enormous task that you end up having to fit everything else in your life – your work, your few precious moments of sleep, your emotions – around it. For a moment, as I was trying to make sense of this sudden torrent of bad news, I felt slightly put out by the knowledge that that our son would prevent me from indulging in my time-

worn coping strategy. That’s because babies don’t understand sadness. There’s a reason there wasn’t a toddler in Radiohead’s No Surprises video – it’s because halfway through, it would have started blowing raspberries and bonking its head on the outside of the glass and distracting Thom Yorke from the very important of job of looking elegant while he drowned. Coming home from the hospital a couple of days ago, though, this was exactly the distraction I needed. Our son has just hit the age where he’s visibly excited to see people he recognises and he craves non-stop interaction. So, instead of moping, I ended up playing hours of

peek-a-boo – and this new game where we both see who can shake their head the most violently – with him. His relentless unfiltered sunniness stopped me from wallowing in selfpity. He brought me out of myself. Parenting can suck up all your energy, but apparently it can also return it when you need it most. Who knew? When you’re up against it, a baby can give you hope and happiness and purpose – and all those other trite buzzwords that arseholes like to superimpose against photos of sunsets on Instagram. My family have been my safety net this week. My son couldn’t possibly understand this, but I’m not sure that I’d have coped without him.

Friday 6th November 2015

Lifestyle +

Friday 6th November 2015

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Friday 6th November 2015

Spiced chicken rolls with sweet-sour cucumber

Food & Drink Foods Rich In Vitamins & Minerals

Easy to make, and delicious with Chill Mayonnaise

Dessert

Grilled Peaches With Brandy & Bay Ingredients 6 ripe peaches, 1 good splash of brandy, 1 orange, 1 vanilla pod, 3 tablespoons sugar, 2 fresh bay leaves, 1 handful of Italian biscotti, crème fraîche. Directions

Halve and destone the peaches, then place in a snug-fitting baking dish, drizzle with the brandy, grate over some orange zest and squeeze in a little orange juice. Halve the vanilla pod lengthways, scrape out the seeds and add to a bowl with the sugar, then mix to combine. Sprinkle the sugar over the peaches, then add the bay leaves and vanilla pod to the dish and gently toss everything together. Arrange the peaches in a single layer, cut-side up. Place the dish under the grill for 5 to 6 mins, or until the fruit is golden and the juices bubbling. Smash the biscotti and sprinkle on top, then serve with crème fraîche peaches and Brandy.

The Chicken can be cooked and kept warm in a low oven, or just served slightly warmer than room temperature. I like to use cheap and ordinary soft rolls (easier to hold), but if you want to use wraps or a fancier bread, feel free. I see no need for your best sourdough! SERVES 6, INGREDIENTS For the marinade and chicken, 3 fat garlic cloves, crushed, 200ml soy sauce, 4 tbsp light brown sugar, 2 tsp rice vinegar 50ml sesame oil, 8-12 chicken thigh fillets. For the gochujang mayo. 135g mayonnaise, 2 tsp gochujang, ½ garlic clove, grated, good squeeze of lime, to taste. For the sweet-sour cucumber.

1 ridge cucumber, 1 shallot, very finely sliced, 4 tbsp rice vinegar, 3 tsp caster sugar pinch of salt, 1 red chilli, halved, deseeded and finely sliced. 6 bread rolls watercress and coriander. METHOD Mix the ingredients for the marinade together and add the chicken. Turn to coat it well with the marinade, cover with cling film and put in the fridge for 4 hours or so, turning the chicken over every so often. For the mayonnaise, mix the mayo, gochujang and garlic together and add the lime, tasting to your preference. Peel the cucumber and halve lengthways. Scoop out the seeds with a spoon and throw them away. Cut the cucumber very finely.

Mix with the rest of the ingredients, add 1½ tbsp water and leave for 30 minutes before serving. Lift the chicken out of the marinade, shaking off the excess. Heat a couple of frying pans. Cook, turning the pieces over frequently, on a medium-high heat for a couple of minutes. Turn the heat down and cook until done right through – it takes a while. Put the chicken on a plate – with the juices as well – cover with foil and keep in a low oven till your guests have arrived. Split the rolls (it’s good if you warm them first in a low oven), fill them with the chicken, watercress, coriander and cucumber. Slather with the mayo before serving.

Some vitamins needed by the body are: Vitamin A which is needed for the immune system, vision and reproduction. Vitamin A is found in foods such as sweet potatoes, carrots, spinach, cantaloupe, and fortified cereals. Vitamin B1 (thiamine) helps the body to process some proteins and some carbohydrates. Vitamin B1 is found in potatoes, green peas, whole grains, enriched fortified bread and cereals, pork, and black beans. Vitamin B2 (riboflavin) helps to make red blood cells and converts food into energy. Vitamin B2 is found in milk, whole grains, yogurt, eggs, cheese and mushrooms. Vitamin B3 (niacin) helps digestion. Vitamin B3 is found in fish, meat, poultry, potatoes, asparagus, mushrooms,

whole grains and fortified cereals. Vitamin C supports the immune system, helps the body make collagen and guards against cell damage. Vitamin C is found in citrus fruits, red and green peppers, cantaloupes, strawberries, broccoli and tomatoes. Vitamin D is needed for bone health, muscles and the immune system. Vitamin D is found in fatty fish, milk, and eggs. Vitamin E helps protect against cell damage. Vitamin E is found in fortified cereals, sweet potatoes, shrimp, peanuts, peanut butter, almonds and sunflower seeds. Vitamin K is necessary for bone health and blood clotting. Vitamin K is found in green vegetables such as cabbage, spinach, kale and in broccoli, chickpeas, eggs and milk.

Food & Drink

Friday 6th November 2015

Bonfire Night Feast At Weekend Great With A Bonfire: Smoky Chicken And Cider

When I sat down to think about what I’d cook for friends on Bonfire Night this year, all sorts of fantasies did go through my head – pumpkin soup baked in its own shell with a bubbling crust of Gruyère (this would undoubtedly collapse under its own weight before everyone had a bowlful); warm fresh doughnuts sprinkled with cinnamon sugar . You see, I’m not a chef. I don’t cook complicated food because I don’t have staff. I have a full-time job, children, and a partner who comes home too late every night. I know what is doable. And whenever I consider options, I have a voice that says 'Are you really going to do that after work?’ So the recipes here have all been chosen because

they’re great with a bonfire on a cold night – they’re smoky, spicy, warming, aromatic but they’re not demanding. Do I try to make it all look lovely? Yes, though that’s not because I’m offering something unattainable. There’s real beauty to be found in the domestic. My kitchen isn’t perfect. Right now, there are three towers of cookbooks behind my chair that are on the verge of crashing to the floor. The breakfast dishes are sitting beside the sink (it’s lunchtime) and I have about six weeks’ worth of newspapers to get rid of. But there are also things that make me smile: a big bowl of oranges; a pile of ironed tablecloths waiting to go into a drawer; an elegant bottle of vermouth. I think

part of my job is to help you notice the beauty in the domestic, too. I do, I confess, sell one fantasy, though: the fantasy of having a great time with friends and family over food. Cooking is partly about optimism. Sometimes you create more than a meal – you create an event. Halloween and Guy Fawkes are the great celebrations of autumn. I don’t care what they’re about; I love making a fuss of the season by cooking food that will go with the smell of bofires. Parties are fantasies. They take effort and organisation and a sprinkling of glitter. You’ll have to supply the music, the sparklers and the welcome, but the food part is achievable. This is a

fantasy you can pull off. Smoky Chicken Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling, 8 ounces goodquality smoky bacon, sliced, 8 to 10 pieces bone-in chicken legs, thighs, and breast meat combined, Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, 2 onions, peeled and cut into wedges with the root end attached, 4 carrots, peeled, sliced on an angle 1/2-inch thick, 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme, 2 to 3 large fresh bay leaves, 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour, 2 cups cloudy apple cider. About 1/3 cup dark amber maple syrup, 1/4 cup

apple cider vinegar, 1 to 2 cups chicken stock, 1 pound small Yukon gold potatoes, quartered, 2 apples, quartered, cored and sliced. Directions Heat a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the bacon to the hot pan, brown it and then remove with a slotted spoon. Season the chicken pieces liberally with salt and pepper, then brown in 2 batches on both sides, and remove to plate. Add the onions, carrots, thyme, and bay leaves, and season with salt and pepper. Cover the

pan and sweat the vegetables 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened. Add the flour and stir 1 to 2 minutes, then add the cider, syrup, vinegar, and 1 cup stock, stirring between each addition. Slide in the potatoes, and apples, and sprinkle the bacon over the top. Nest the chicken into the pan and add more stock until the liquids reach the edge, but do not cover the chicken. Cover the pan, reduce the heat, and cook the chicken through, 15 minutes or so. Cool completely, and store for a make-ahead meal.

Health

Friday 6th November 2015

‘No Added Sugar’ Is Far From Sugar-Free Once babies and toddlers come to expect sweet drinks, they usually reject water Diluted fruit juice is the routine afternoon snack of many babies almost from birth. It may be good stuff: pure juice; no nasty preservatives: lots of vitamin C that isn’t needed; and no added sugar. But fruit juice doesn’t need sugar added to make it sweet, it is sweet. That’s why babies like it better than plain water and it’s because they prefer it that it becomes habitual. A tiny afternoon drink soon becomes an anytime and allthe-time drink that grows with the baby. Once babies and toddlers come to expect sweet drinks, they usually reject water with scorn and fury. That’s not good for them in the present or the future. With their bellies full of sweet stuff they’ll

want less milk or solid food, so overall nutrition as well as new teeth are at risk. And as they get older and drink more and more fruit-flavoured stuff those drinks become a main source of empty calories and unwanted pounds. Sugar tax could help solve Britain's obesity crisis, expert tells MPs. It doesn’t have to happen. If babies who want a nonmilk drink are always given plain water that’s what they will expect and what they expect is what they will prefer, even insist upon, probably for at least two or three years. If parents put the misleading health (and commercial) arguments for baby juices out of their heads, sticking to water from the

beginning will be easy, money-saving and a really important and immediate contribution to preventing early caries and obesity. Penelope Leach, Lewes, East Sussex. At the risk of sounding like a killjoy, am I alone in musing on the irony of being expected to have a supply of sweets to hand to children who randomly knock on my door on 31 October? In the light of obesity problems and the drive to tax sugar, maybe a slice of carrot or celery would be a healthier option – or would that result in egg dripping down my front door as it was when I arrived home late last night? Lindsey Mundy, Ludlow, Shropshire.

Embarrassed Breastfeeding In Public? One in 10 women chose not to nurse their baby for fear of doing so outside the home. Six out of 10 women who breastfeed take steps to hide it in public and a third feel embarrassed or uncomfortable nursing outside the home, a survey has found. The poll, found that one in five believed people did not want them to breastfeed in

public and one in 10 who chose not to nurse their baby were influenced by the worry of doing so outside the home. It is illegal to ask a breastfeeding woman to leave a public place but there have been high-profile cases of women being told to cover up. Dr Ann Hoskins, deputy director of health and well-

being and spokesperson for Public Health England said: “Breastfeeding gives babies the best start in life and it comes with a whole host of benefits for the mother, too. Anxiety about breastfeeding in public certainly shouldn’t be a barrier to breastfeeding in general.” The World Health Organisation recommends exclusive breastfeeding for

the first six months. In England, three-quarters of women start breastfeeding their children from birth but only around half are still doing so six to eight weeks later. The poll of 2,393 people found that 72% support public breastfeeding but a lower proportion felt it was acceptable in restaurants (57%) or on public transport (51%).

Hollywood Hair & Beauty Salon

Hollywood Hair and Beauty Salon - your local salon in Los Dolses CC relocated from Punta Prima. A one stop shop for all your beauty needs top to bottom. From hairdressing - Semi Permanent - Hair extensions Facials - Waxing - Pedicures - Gel nails and Teeth whitening. Using top quailty products - Soft tap pigments specially designed for the sunnier climates for semi permanent make up. Kaeso products for your all important body treatments facials pedicures etc Lava shell massages for releasing all those aches and pains. Schwarzkopf for hair coloring and aftercare. Belmain for hair extensions - using 100% human hair with no damage to your natural hair. We also offer teeth whitening service by appointment only with outstanding results. With fully qualified staff - all experts in the own right drop in and have a free consultation on any of the services they offer. Hollywood Hair & beauty salon are a friendly team and have a policy of making every client welcome. With a pricing range for the every day pocket. Opening hours Monday to Friday 10am - 5pm late night Thursday until 6pm Walk in appointments welcome. Always look out for their special promotions advertised in the paper and also Facebook where if you " like" and "share" their page - you can also win the monthly competition.

Health Dr M. Mannu

Friday 6th November 2015

Are You Addicted To Painkillers? Contact@medb.es

We all instinctively avoid pain; however, it is essential to our survival because it communicates danger and like an early warning system, allows us time to act. Pain is the most common reason we see the doctor and is considered a symptom in medical disorders although it is treated conveniently as a disease, usually by overworked doctors, hard pressed for time and resorting to over prescribing pain killers to keep the line going. Treating symptoms has created a ‘quick fix’ attitude to health, with many people believing that an end to pain also means a cure for the disease. And in healthcare, this isn’t always the case. Our natural reaction as human beings is to seek an instant remedy when we suffer pain. Unfortunately for us, the profit-oriented pharmaceutical industry also understands this aspect of human psychology quite well. And of course for them it’s more profitable to find an instant remedy for pain than a cure for the disease. Pain killers give an impression of healing but with the cause still present, the pain usually returns after a short while, requiring more painkillers, and the cycle continues. What is worse is

Website: www.medb.es

that the number of deaths from painkillers has risen sharply over the years mainly due to over-prescriptions. Most prescribed medications will cause severe damage to the body if taken even over a short period, but painkillers have an even deadlier edge to them. Nerves transmit pain, and by nature, they become sensitized to drug stimulation over time, making them require larger doses of painkillers to produce the same amount of pain relief. Over time, this creates an addiction to painkillers, and the stronger the painkiller, the stronger the addiction. Even though there are thousands of brands of painkillers available in pharmacies, there are just three classes of painkillers–

Paracetamol, NSAIDS (Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) and opioids or narcotics. Of these classes, the most addictive are narcotics. People who take paracetamol repeatedly for on-going pain run a risk of developing a ‘staggered overdose,' a condition associated with a high risk of liver disease that may require a liver transplant. NSAIDs are the next line of painkillers usually prescribed when paracetamol isn’t strong enough to provide pain relief. There are three main types of NSAIDS – Ibuprofen, naproxen and COX inhibitors, and all three are sold under many different brand names. NSAIDs can cause gastric and duodenal ulcers, bleeding and perforation.

Great Cuts & Pampering! London-trained Hair Stylists David and Karen run Cut in Co and have established themselves in their premises in Calle Los Arcos in Quesada which they moved into nearly 2 years ago. Both have over 20 years' experience in the hairdressing business and provide precision haircuts in a relaxed atmosphere with care and attention given to every client. David and Karen are available in the salon every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. The rest of the Cut n Co team include talented Stylist Debbie who works on Mondays and Thursdays, whilst Annette the Beauty Therapist works on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays and provides luxury manicures and pedicures, shellac nails and rejuvenating facials. Wedding Packages are now available at Cut n Co and that includes Hair, Nails and Full Make-up. You can find the salon on Facebook at Cut n Co and also Wedding Make-up Artist and Nails, Costa Blanca. To book a hair or any other appointment please Telephone Karen on 648 879 654 or David on 699 409 433.

Opioids are the strongest class of painkillers and include several brands containing tramadol, hydrocodone, morphine or combinations or their variations. These drugs belong to the same class as heroin and cocaine, and the psychological symptoms of those taking these illegal drugs or even suffering from alcoholism, are no different from those taking opioid painkillers. Other side effects include depression, weight gain and bone and joint problems. If you are in pain, don’t just reach for painkillers; make an appointment with your doctor to find out the cause of the problem. FOR A FULL BODY, DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL MEDB CLINIC: 965071745, 966189074.

Friday 6th November 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Linda was having issues with her iPad updating. ADVICE: Ray wanted to know if it was possible to recover a user profile he accidentally deleted in Google Chrome. Hi Wonder if you can help. I suddenly can't update my I-cloud from my ipad 2- It used to update as soon as I plugged it into my computer, but now says cannot complete. I have tried deleting many things, and think I still have quite a lot of memory on Icloud. Would be grateful for any ideas. Thanks, Linda

Q A

Hi Linda, have you tried restarting your iPad - not putting it to sleep, but fully restarting it by holding down the power button for 5 seconds and then sliding the power off?

Good morning Richard. Can you help please. I am using Google Chrome and went to settings and under persons removed the one person, now it has lost all of the previous settings. I don’t have any extensions as before and no bookmarks. I don’t want to try something and loose the chance or recovery. How can I recover chrome to the previous before I messed it up?

Hi Ray, I´m afraid you can’t easily, it can of course be done but it’s pretty technical, here is a forum post that explains what you need to do. https://productforums.google.com/forum/#!topic/chrome/Z46DE4SW7ug

ADVICE: Vic wanted to know how to get driver software for a device in his laptop.

I am on Windows 10 my laptop did a update for window 10 it tried several times to update the driver for Qualcomm Atheros AR 9002WB-ING but failed can you suggest what I should do please.

Hi Vic, you should find the manufacturers page and see if there is a driver available for Windows 10 for that particular device, it's possible that it's not compatible with Windows 10 - let me know if you can't find it.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Friday 6th November 2015

2015 Mini John Cooper Works, Even More FUN!!! Faster doesn’t automatically mean better to drive – but that’s what this Mini is

This is the most powerful production car Mini has ever made. For 2015, the John Cooper Works model has been pushed to 228bhp and 236lb ft– slinging it to 62mph in 6.3 seconds. That’s just part of the story, though. Faster doesn’t automatically mean better to drive – but that’s what this Mini is. A new electronic front diff sees to that, sending torque where it will be most useful as the front wheels fight to resist those 228 horses’ every effort to break them

away. The JCW’s suspension has been revised, too, as have its brakes, and the exhaust has been returned to make a funkier noise. This it does with some verve. In fact, when you’re on the attack you’re rewarded by a wonderful soundtrack in which a hairy-chested engine note is sprinkled with percussive pops and crackles from the tailpipe. In your mind’s eye, you’re Paddy Hopkirk spanking it over the passes of Monte Carlo. That little ode to joy is one very good reason for choos-

ing the six-speed manual box instead of the auto. Another is that there’s a saving of more than a grand in it for you, but overall we like the manual simply because it’s so much fun. This despite the fact that the auto is actually a little faster, at 6.1 seconds, as well as using less fuel and putting out less CO2. Thing is, the manual version never feels slow. But it always feels engaging. It also feels much more composed than the old JCW, which didn’t deal well with

rough roads. This one has been revised in all the right places underneath, and it handles with impressive composure as you press on through corners. A lusty whack of torque helps here. And it means you don’t spend half your life shuffling between gears on a cruise, thus removing another common reason for going auto. To drive the point home (or

stretch it), the JCW model even has its own gearstick. This is part of a package which also includes things like sports seats, stainless pedals and a three-spoke steering wheel, all of which help make the Mini’s cabin more of a self-propelled funfair than ever. The only problem is that so much of the kit on the JCW we drove was optional, it sent a £23,050 car vaulting

past the thirty grand mark. Of course, you don’t have to go crazy with the catalogue when buying a car. But if you find that that’s what it takes to get the JCW the way you really want it, you should stop and look at what else your money could buy you. If hot-hatch performance matters to you, the Golf R and forthcoming Focus RS do make pretty stratospheric rivals.

Classifieds

Friday 6th November 2015 ALARMS

CATERING

CLEANERS

CAR BREAKERS

REMOVALS

PLUMBER CARPENTER

SURVEYOR

DRAINAGE

ALCOHOLICS

WELDER

TUTOR

RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL MEDIA needs selfemployed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SERVICES

MAYBE

Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf-spain.org. International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in

Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276

TUITION Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers. Provide an insight into most musical styles. From 10€ per hour. Learn how to play guitar with the best lessons available,. for both beginner guitar and advanced players telephone Peter NOW on 966789612 or 629975378.

How about

SITUATIONS VACANT

SWIMMING POOL SERVICES

REMOVALS Van leaving from UK TO SPAIN November 15th, Returning SPAIN TO UK November 22nd Space available. Telephone Spanish Number 0034 722 711 998 or UK Number 0044 755 298 5343 or please email me at keithvanman9@gmail.com

SWIMMING POOL SERVICES

QUIZ MASTER Experienced quiz-master /question setter with personality If you would like a quiz master that is interesting and entertaining, questions that are challenging yet not too difficult so as to be ungettable available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel: 664 838 581.

REMOVALS

Friday 6th November 2015 Friday 30th October 2015

TKO Teddy On The Road

Hi everybody from TKO Teddy! I can’t wait to get to the Vicente Garcia stadium to cheer on the team this Sunday at noon as they play Benigánim, and the lads need a win, so join me in the stands to cheer them on. I had a wonderful day out promoting Torry and making with new friends at a charity fund raising event last weekend at the Marjal Costa Blanca Camping & Resort organised by a lovely lady called Mary in the

aid of Debra, the Butterfly Children charity (She’s the one in the greenish top next to me!). There were folk getting into the Halloween spirit which gave me some nice jitters, and I met Sandi from Telitec and local entertainer Dan. If you want me to come along to your business or event to say hello, then just get in touch via my TKO Teddy Facebook page where you can follow what I’m getting up to every Week!

Murray Slams Coric British number one Andy Murray thrashed Croatian teenager Borna Coric in just 58 minutes to reach the third round at the Paris Masters. Murray, seeded second, won 6-1 6-2 and will next play Belgian David Goffin - a warm-up for this month's likely meeting in the Davis Cup final. British number two Aljaz Bedene earlier lost 6-3 7-6 (7-3) to American 13th seed

John Isner. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are in action later on Wednesday. Murray was playing for the first time since losing to Novak Djokovic in Shanghai 19 days ago, and wasted little time in seeing off Coric. The 18-year-old is the highest-ranked teenager at 46 in the world but could not fashion a single break point as he went down in under an

hour. Murray, 27, broke serve twice in each set as he made amends for a shock defeat by Coric in Dubai earlier this year. The Scot has a busy schedule over the next few weeks, with the ATP Finals in London getting under way on November 15, followed by Britain's first Davis Cup final in 37 years from November 27.

Carter Is World Player Of The Year ll Blacks fly-half Dan Carter has been named the World Rugby Player of the Year, capping an incredible weekend for the rugby great. The 33-year-old played his final game for New Zealand at Twickenham on Saturday and went out in style, winning the man-of-the-match award as they beat Australia 34-17

in the World Cup final. Carter has now won the award three times, having previously triumphed in 2005 and 2012, and it was the fourth time in a row a New Zealand player had claimed the award. Carter, who kicked 19 points, including a sublime drop-goal in the World Cup final, joins All Blacks captain Richie McCaw as a threetime winner. He received the award ahead of five other nominees: All Blacks team-mate Julian Savea, Australia flanker Michael Hooper and No 8 David Pocock, Wales lock Alun Wyn Jones, and Scotland scrum half Greig Laidlaw. Carter told Sky Sports ahead of the ceremony: "That time in the dressing room, after the game [on Saturday], was probably one of the most special times in my career. "We worked hard for four years for this moment, so to be able to finally enjoy it, with some of your best mates, just means so much." The All Blacks were unsurprisingly named team of the year, having become the first team ever to successfully defend their World Cup title. And New Zealand winger Nehe Milner-Skudder, who had an outstanding World Cup, was named breakthrough player of the year. Despite overseeing the

World Cup win, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen missed out on a fourth successive coach of the year award. That went to Australia's Michael Cheika after his impressive turnaround of the Wallabies over the last 12 months.

Friday 6th November 2015

Ivie Davies on Golf

Golf’s Perfect Pitch For The Kids All kinds of games have appeared in recent months trying to “make golf more interesting”, but I’m a very strong advocate of Pitch & Putt as a very good old fashioned way to get youngsters involved in their first golfing experience. Imagine the scene; An eight year old stands on the tee on the third hole during his first ever taste of the great game. He was convinced that golf was the most difficult thing he had ever tried to do. Furthermore, it wasn't nearly as much fun as people made it look. Then the young golfer swung his sawn-off 9-iron he'd been given at the kiosk, and something magical happened. The ball flew out of the screws, high into the air and sailed majestically towards the green. "Good shot!" said his Dad. It was a good shot. It landed on the green and rolled to within five feet of the pin. The look on the young

golfer face is a picture – somewhere between shock, awe and ecstasy. The result was the triggering of a thought process we've all experienced. First: Golf really isn't that difficult after all. Second: I should do everyone a favour and turn pro at the earliest opportunity. Crucially, this first experience of golf didn't happen at some blazered country club. It happened at a pitch & putt course. When his Dad and the lad picked up their clubs from the kiosk and paid the green fee, they weren't presented with a comprehensive list of all the things they couldn't do. They were simply thanked for the custom and advised to have a great time. Have fun. No one ever forgets their first properly struck good golf shot. It stays with you forever. In fact that is what got me involved in golf some 38 years ago, when my brother invited me to hit a few golf balls in a field near to where he lived. After a few

TITTER ON THE TEE

I was feeling a little run down recently and so made an appointment with my doctor. Some weeks later when my appointment came round, despite feeling a little better, I visited the surgery so as not to waste the appointment. My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: I jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.

“air” shots with a 7 iron I struck a “professional” shot it went “miles” just like they do on TV and I was hooked. And – no matter what heights you reach in the game, no matter how many birdies or eagles you make, no matter how many chip ins you get – from that point onwards you're chasing 'that feeling'. In 1991, I had my first and only hole in one. It was at Real Campoamor Golf on the fourth: - 200 metres no less and I was with a pal, all of whom saw it and shared the same celebrations. I even had my card signed by the Director of Golf and got a certificate from Peter Alliss for the longest Hole In One that month. It was mad. It was fantastic. But it wasn't as good as the first time I hit a proper good golf shot in that field. The same applies to the eight year old on a Pitch & Putt golf course. Golf clubs, for a mildly nervous eight year old, are daunting places and proba-

bly still are. They're pretty off-putting to a seasoned 42 year old. Drive into most golf clubs and you'll be confronted with: 'Don't do this and don't do that'. And then give us all your money. So in my opinion, pitch & putt courses remains the very life blood of the game. Every governing body from the R&A to the USGA claim their brief is to 'grow the game' (whatever that means). But I've never heard a peep out of any of these guys about pitch & putt. Most pitch & putt courses are council run in the UK. I heard of two pitch & putt courses in the south of the UK, that was closed down on account of the fact that the council deemed it 'not cost effective' to employ a student on minimum wage to sit in a wooden hut and dispense and collect golf clubs through the summer months. They had different plans for the nine hole pitch & putt,

but of course! They were on a mission to replace it with a much more cost effective 'natural meadow'. In an age where we're told that childhood obesity is a curse it seems crazy that an entry level sport like pitch and putts be denied to those who may not be natural athletes playing for the school first teams. Pitch & Putt allows kids and adults to 'have a go at golf'. You don't need to kick things or throw things, or do it as fast as you can. You just play golf. On a pitch and putt course. No pressure. Just step up and have a go, you'll most likely want to come back and have another go. And learn etiquette and respect. How much lottery money has gone into pitch & putt courses? I don't know but hazarding a guess ZERO. The Olympic legacy's aim was to get exercising/playing sport. Well, pitch and putt ticks all the boxes. Next year golf is in the Olympics for the first time in decades

and it's a great chance for the world to check out the great game and have a go. There are fantastic short courses here in Spain but not in a reasonable quantity, the role could give beginners the perfect intro to golf. The holes could range from between 75 to180 metres long but most are par fours, meaning that a youngster, who advances his or her ball between 70 and 100 metres with a good hit, is playing the equivalent of a grown up par four. Let's get a ton of these courses made and let’s make golf properly accessible. Jack Nicklaus has hailed pitch & putt as 'the most wonderful way to introduce people to playing golf'. He should know what he's talking about. So why not local councils utilise those areas of 2,500-plus square metres that are just sitting there or golf courses land that not being used and get school kids and beginners into golf the proper way?

KNOW YOUR RULES

QUESTION You see players replacing their ball on the putting green but they do not remove the ball-marker and then the player goes back to touch and rotate the ball to align it. Is this allowed? 20-4 is applicable in this situation. On ANSWER Rule the putting green, the ball is in play as soon as it is replaced on the ground, even if the ball-marker is still in position. If the player carelessly caused the ball to move, the penalty under Rule 18-2 would be applied. The fact that the ball-marker is on the ground marking the ball’s position does

not exempt the player from the penalty. The ball is in play when it replaced with the ball-marker still on the ground. If the player wishes to touch, he/she can do so without penalty as the position of the ball is still marked. Once the ball-marker is removed, the player is prohibited from touching the ball.

Poult’s In

Ian Poulter is set to be eligible for next year's Ryder Cup after being added to the field for this week's WGC-HSBC Champions event in Shanghai. The Englishman had been sixth reserve, knowing he must play the European Tour event to enable him to complete the 13 required to keep his Tour card and be available to play in the Ryder Cup. "I found a voucher in a Willy Wonka chocolate bar," said Poulter, 39. "If you wrote it no one would believe the story. I guess it was meant to be." Poulter has been an inspirational figure for Europe in the

Ryder Cup, playing in five of the last six events and helping defeat the United States on four occasions.

The Courier Sport

Friday 6th November 2015

ENGLAND 26 NEW ZEALAND 12

Barclays Premier League Saturday 7 November 13:45 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 18:30

Bournemouth v Newcastle United Leicester City v Watford Manchester United v West Bromwich Albion Norwich City v Swansea City Sunderland vSouthampton West Ham United v Everton Stoke City v Chelsea

Sunday 8 November

14:30 Aston Villa v Manchester City 17:00 Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur 17:00 Liverpool v Crystal Palace

WHO DID YOU SAY ARE KINGS OF RUGBY? Forget the All Blacks, England are the best rugby team in the world! Don't laugh, the evidence could well be indisputable in a fortnight’s time, writes GERRY GREEN. I am, of course talking about the other code of the game - the one they started up in Huddersfield many years ago ''t'get some dosh for t'players.'' I guess the Hooray Henry losers who watched New Zealand beat Australia 34-17 in last Saturday' RWC Final at Twickenham still have hangovers after their six-week oval ball of non-qualifying celebration. Those who tuned in later to see a team of white-shirted Englishmen hammer the Kiwi kings in front of a euphoric Hull crowd must have been convinced that a

sweet chariot had whisked off to Heaven. The occasion was the first of three RL Tests between England and New Zealand, who have pinched the mantle of world's best from their Antipodean cousins in recent years. And surprise, surprise, the men in white 'rose' to the occasion as only an English team can (as opposed to 'do'). The game's final try was scored by Wigan Warriors captain Sean O'Loughlin, whose name sounds more in keeping with a jolly green giant about to challenge Brian O'Driscoll for an 'O' level in Irish after-dinner speaking. In reality it's hard enough trying to decipher local lad Sean's accent in Wigan, let alone in the lah-

di-dah corridors of rugger power. Not that he is ever likely to follow Sam Burgess on his international Twick or Tweet merry-goround. I happen to be Welsh, though I don't have the divided interests of former players like Jonathan Davies, who seems able to switch codes in the commentary box almost at will not you, Carling). Jiffy also seems to rather confused about his nationality – as England homed in on victory he uttered the unutterable over a microphone as England celebrated victory against the Kiwis. He referred to them as ''we''. Shame on you, Jonathan. In recent years England have become pretty much the best in the business

when it comes to the 13man game. Australia ruled the show for almost as long as the All Blacks have been the most remarkable sports team on earth. Apart from a couple of momentary blips when they crashed to No.2 in the rankings, they have been the best in the business for as long as I can remember. The first nation to win three World Cups, first to win back-to back-crowns and in Richie McCaw led by a unique warrior who has won 131 of his world-record 148 Test matches. The McCaw birds of Kiwi land have controlled the World In Union for as long as I can remember - and it's oddson they will still be ruling the roost when the next Worldwide Webb Ellis is booted up for the first time.

Carrasco Catastrophe TORRE LEVANTE 2 CD TORREVIEJA 1

Torry ran the show for the first quarter of the game at Torre Levante, with Cesar scoring on 14 minutes as Suarez, Carrasco and Lewis Allen out smarted the home side, out pacing them and tearing them apart in attacking ploys. But then came a big turning point. Carrasco was rightly punished for a high elbow when challenging in the air for a ball, but just a few minutes later his legitimate winning of a fifty-fifty ball on the ground saw him off for an early bath as his team mates re-organised for the long 70 minutes ahead of them. On his debut Ruben Suarez was excellent, and his interplay with Lewis Allen was mesmerising, but that all changed after Carrasco's unfair dismissal. The match

though saw a key moment 13 minutes into the second half, as the home keeper blocked an almost certain Torry goal from Allen, and to add insult to injury, the blocked shot fell to the hosts who went down the other end at pace and slotted home for the equaliser! Torry did not give up, with two or three decent efforts, particularly from free kicks, as Torre Levante continued to scythe down the uncatchable Suarez. However, with nine minutes to go, a cracking drive from 20 yards beat Oscar at his near post at the angle and kept the points in Valencia, retaining the home side's unbeaten home record and place in the play-off places. Disappointment etched every Torry face, this defeat

resulting in a drop to 17th place, just two points off rock bottom. It’s a Sunday midday kick off at the Vicente Garcia against Benigamin who sit one point and one place above Torry, for a match that the home side cannot afford to lose. Torry are likely to be

without Oscar, who injured his wrist, whilst Carrasco is suspended, as is Jorge, with Rafa Gomez and Martin on the injured list. They need to demonstrate the talent in their squad to make sure that any threat of relegation is quickly evaporated!

Monte Pulled Back

Sky Bet Championship Friday 6th November 20:30 Nottingham Forest v Derby County

Saturday 7 November 13:30 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Huddersfield Town v Leeds United Blackburn Rovers v Brentford Bolton Wanderers v Bristol City Brighton and Hove Albion v MK Dons Cardiff City v Reading Charlton Athletic v Sheffield Wednesday Fulham v Birmingham City Hull City v Middlesbrough Queens Park Rangers v Preston North End Rotherham United v Ipswich Town Wolverhampton Wanderers v Burnley

Scottish Premiership Saturday 7 November 16:00 Aberdeen v Dundee United 16:00 Dundee v Partick Thistle 16:00 Hearts v Hamilton Academical 16:00 Motherwell v Inverness Caledonian Thistle 16:00 St. Johnstone v Kilmarnock

Sunday 8 November 16:30 Ross County v Celtic

Spanish La Liga Friday 6th November 20:30 Las Palmas v Real Sociedad

Saturday 7 November 16:00 18:15 20:30 20:30 22:05

Celta de Vigo v Valencia CF Levante v Deportivo de La Coruña Eibar v Getafe Rayo Vallecano v Granada CF Málaga v Real Betis

Sunday 8 November 12:00 Athletic Club v Espanyol 16:00 Barcelona v Villarreal 18:15 Atlético de Madrid v Sporting de Gijón 20:30 Sevilla v Real Madrid

Close Calls

CD MONTESINOS 3 AT. BENEJUZAR 3

CD Montesinos looked set for another victory, this time at the expense of old rivals Benejuzar at home last Sunday but it wasn’t to be. An exciting encounter saw Monte come back from one-nil down to take a three-

one lead with the points apparently in the bag, before the visitors struck twice late on to pull a draw out of the fire. Monte are away this Sunday afternoon to Formentera CF, with a 4.15pm kick-off.

Two tight affairs saw one defeat and one win for two of the main Rugby Union sides in the area in the second round of league matches under the Murcia federation. ITV Vega Baja Orihuela lost 22-17 at home to CRU Cartagena in their first division encounter, but in the second division, the San Javier Squalos (squad pictured)

nicked out the Cartagena B team by 13 points to 12. Elsewhere, in the under18 Cadetes league, the Torrevieja Tigers lost at home to Lorca by 24 points to 17, whilst ITV Vega Baja Orihuela went down 14-7 at home to Cartagena. In the senior women’s league, the San Javier Squalos lost 12 points to eight to CUDER.

Friday 6th November 2015

Three And Easy

Neymar Nets BARCELONA 3 BATE BORISOV 0

The Courier Sport

ARSENAL GET 5 STAR BAYERNmped

REAL MADRID 3 LAS PALMAS 1

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Real Madrid remained top of the Primera Division after comfortably beating struggling Las Palmas at the Bernabeu last Saturday. Isco gave Rafael Benitez's side a dream start by opening the scoring after just four minutes and then Cristiano Ronaldo's diving header 10 minutes later doubled their advantage. Las Palmas pulled a goal back through Hernan Santana later in the half but just before the break Jese restored Madrid's two-goal lead with a fine individual effort. Real are away Sevilla this Sunday evening.

Holders Barcelona took a big step towards the knockout stages of the Champions League with a comfortable Wednesday night victory. Brazilian forward Neymar scored twice for the home side, including a penalty, with fellow striker Luis Suarez toe-poking in on the hour mark.

Real Progress REAL MADRID 1 PARIS-ST GERMAIN 0

Tight At The Top GETAFE 0 BARCELONA 2

Real Madrid sealed their place in the Champions League last 16 with a narrow home victory on Tuesday over the French side. Nacho Fernandez scored just two minutes after coming on to replace the injured Marcelo but PSG squandered some good chances to spoil the night for Rafa Benitez’s side. Barcelona produced a professional if not sensational performance to win at Getafe and keep pace with Real Madrid at the top of La Liga. The visitors were frustrated by a tight Getafe defence for most of the first half but they found their way through on 38 minutes when Luis Suarez scored from close range following a stylish back heel by Sergi Roberto. Suarez also engineered Barca's second goal, a volley from Neymar on 58 minutes that ensured Luis Enrique's side left Madrid with the three points. Barcelona entertain Villarreal this Sunday afternoon.

Coleman’s Rant REDS ON .. . THE BRINK c s ored

Pointless Road Trip REAL ZARAGOZA 2 ELCHE 0 Chris Coleman has accused Arsene Wenger of "a cheap shot" after the Arsenal boss blamed Wales for Aaron Ramsey's injury. Ramsey is out until after the international break with a hamstring strain suffered during Arsenal's win over Bayern Munich on October 20, and Wenger last month said the injury was down to overplaying. The midfielder had played against Watford three days earlier after starting Wales' final two European Qualifiers - the second against Andorra with a place at the finals already guaranteed. It was fairly even in the first half for the Ilicitanos away to the Aragon-based side last Sunday, but Zaragoza got going in the second period and took the lead in the 53rd minute through Hinestroza. Elche huffed and puffed but to no avail and with no real clear chances before Ortuño put a tin hat on the homebound points with a couple of minutes remaining. Elche’s next Segunda encounter is this Sunday lunchtime with a noon kick-off at home to Osasuna.

Doubling Up CD Torrevieja’s assistant coach Ruben Pastor Felices has resigned for personal reasons. He will be replaced by Jonathan Risueño who will combine the job with his existing role as Sporting Director.

ueller Thomas M ich ayern Mun B s a two goals to -1 5 l a Arsen hammered the a place in n o close in e th f o e g ta knockout s . e u g a e L s Champion

Garde The Logical There was something very telling about the words of Aston Villa captain Micah Richards as he contemplated working under new coach Remi Garde. The new man will respond to the media's demands in perfect English, a legacy of three years spent at Arsenal as a player. Garde and Patrick Vieira were Arsene Wenger's first two signings for the club, arriving on the same day in mid-August 1996. Yet Richards simply echoed the feelings of many others. Despite being a Premier League winner, Garde is far from a household name in England, having started only 28 times during his spell in London. He is well respected in the game, however - not least by his mentor Wenger - and Villa fans can expect a studious man who arrives refreshed and ready for the challenge before him. Garde was assistant to Gerard Houllier at the French club.

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 6th November 2015

A BAYERN BEATING!!! ! D E R E L MUL N BRINK

BAYERN MUNICH 5 ARSENAL 1

The Latest Sport Headlines

O S R E N GUN T I X E O R U OF E

CRICKET England collapse to lose Test and series CRICKET Warner helps Australia dominate New Zealand EUROPEAN FOOTBALL Neymar on form as Barcelona win RUGBY UNION Burgess has not asked to leave - Bath owner ATHLETICS Ex-IAAF chief Diack investigated

Where did it go wrong?

Fit For Aston Villa He was assistant between 2005 and 2007 and when former Liverpool boss Houllier moved on, the club offered him the post. Garde, however, declined, not feeling ready for it. He is not a man to leap before he looks. China head coach Alain Perrin and Nice manager Claude Puel both had spells in charge before Garde eventually took the top job in June 2011, a position he held until the end of the 2013-14 season. Lyon finished fourth, third and fifth in Ligue 1 under Garde and won the French Cup in 2012, but his importance is much more profound than league positions. Having lost their way after seven successive title wins between 2002 and 2008, Garde's reign helped to drastically bring down the wage bill and introduce a new, young, motivated playing staff which are largely home grown.

The old Irish night porter carries the tray of champagne and whisky into George Best’s London hotel room. Lying naked on the bed covered only by a shower of banknotes is George’s current girlfriend ex-Miss World Marjorie Wallace. The superstar footballer had won handsomely earlier at the Casino and he tips the wide-eyed porter generously. Heading for the door, the man pauses, turns and asks his idol the classic question: ‘Where did it all go wrong, George?’ OK, the scenario is different, but when Jose Mourinho looks back on this strange period of his football management career he might well ask himself that question. If you asked a hundred different people you would probably get a hundred different answers, so wide is the scope of the Portuguese’s problems this season. But on the way to last year’s Prem title, the signs were there that all was not well as the goals dried up. But hey, the points were in the bag, the title won – so who cared? Some said the Blues return to work was late in comparison to other clubs. Others that the ageing team members like captain John Terry, and full back Branislav Ivanovic were past their sell-by dates, especially as the early games soon

showed up the defence’s deficiencies. Top goalscorer Diego Costa also did not get off to last year’s sensational start, preferring pathetic physical confrontations with the opposition and subsequently falling foul of officialdom. What on earth’s happened to Eden Hazard, virtually unplayable last season on his way to goal, the one who alone earned Chelsea so many points in capturing the Premier League? Fabregas? The supplier of pin-point accurate passes who now can’t find a team-mate five yards away? From having two world class goalkeepers, the Blues now somehow have one ordinary one that the now shaky defence can no longer protect as the opposition’s goals have rained in. The reserves haven’t succeeded, upfront Radamel Falcao (remember him?) and Loic Remy have all been used in a distrustful manner, expected to perform and then not played next time. The usual get-out, buying expensive new blood like full back Baba Rahman hasn’t worked and exBarcelona midfield striker Pedro is said to be unhappy and wants back to Catalunya. If the playmakers aren’t finding their men, the strikers aren’t finding the net, and the defenders aren’t picking up who their markers, it’s

all because of the shared lack of personal confidence running through the team. Well - who gives the team confidence? Who explains where players should be, in possession and without? Who makes the substitutions that haven’t worked when the team are up against it? One of Mourinho’s best weapons in his armoury was changing players that would alter key games in the team’s favour – now it’s just the opposite. For me, the Chelsea problem is all down to one particular aspect, a situation which needs addressing if the club is going to get out of trouble. It is the character of Jose Mourinho which is now giving everyone at Stamford Bridge huge misgivings, as his personal behaviour has been bizarre in the extreme this season. World-observed problems like the Eva Carneiro fiasco have not gone away, which have done the Portuguese no favours as a man, where courtesy and manners are not his strong points. When you’re winning, or at least challenging you can survive, but when consistently losing, everything is taken down and used against you, as the merciless press and posing pundits have their day. It can’t go on – the party’s (nearly) over, Jose…

FOOTBALL Ramsey sacked as QPR head coach TENNIS Murray races past Coric in Paris FOOTBALL Palestine must move matches - Fifa FOOTBALL Gerrard 'will not play' for Liverpool FOOTBALL Carrick unworried by Man Utd critics FOOTBALL Hibernian beat Dundee United to reach semifinals FOOTBALL Wales players must step up - Allen FORMULA 1 Wolff quits as race debut 'won't happen' FOOTBALL Cole recovering after kidney failure GOLF McIlroy hindered by food poisoning FOOTBALL England wait for Grealish clearance Supplied by BBC

DERBY DAY LOOMS SPURS

! T I A W A t s u M n e M Wenger’s ve! Impro Strictly-speaking it was disaster darling in Europe on Wednesday night as Arsenal got tanked in Munich, bayoneted 5 – 1 by Bayern. Now bottom of their group, it’s the Premier League title that Arsene’s Army must now concentrate on. Arsenal? Surely not… But no rest for the weary, ‘cos on Super Sunday right up there with all the classic derbies is North London’s version of uncivil war, Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur. On Premier paper, ahead on points it’s the Gunners, firing high in joint top place with Manchester City. But hey, over yonder see the Lilywhites from the Lane, at last going well under manager Mauricio Pochettino. Tottenham have been winning well lately and have climbed impressively to fifth place in the table, only five points below their detested rivals. It should – well, maybe be a classic, but you know what derbies can be like. If it’s not you could try first-win-at-last Liverpool, Klopping along nicely now against rattled-oflate Crystal Palace. That could/should be a cracker too – maybe… That one, along with the London derby, kicks off at 5.00pm, Spanish time. Earlier on Sunday, Astonishing Villa are at home to leaders Manchester City who last Tuesday night conquered

BURGESS STAYS ON

Sam Burgess has not asked to leave Bath in a return to rugby league, says the club's owner, Bruce Craig. Burgess was part of England's poor showing at the World Cup and has been linked with a move back to former NRL club the South Sydney Rabbitohs. "Sam is with us for the next two years and is under contract," said Craig. "No-one has come in for Sam."

their European hoodoo at last by storming the Sevilla Citadel 3 – 1 and now look favourites to advance into the knock-out stages of the Champions League. Pity new Villa manager, Frenchman Remi Garde: his team are rock-bottom of the Premier League with a pathetic four points, and immediately it’s a visit from scintillating City who are even doing the business with two of their best players, Sergio Aguero and David Silva out injured. Kickoff time at Villa Park is 2.30pm. Phew! Chelsea’s crucial Wednesday 2 -1 win at Stamford Bridge over CSKA Moscow was enough to keep the Blues afloat in the Champions League, and turn the heat down a bit on their beleaguered manager Jose Mourinho. Prince Willian’s 83rd minute winner was priceless for a lot of reasons, but basically for his boss’s back. Now then: back to basics in the heat of the Prem kitchen it’s no use reasoning what if, say, Chelsea lose again? ‘Cos they keep doing it and yet… Anyway, another day, another every weekend domestic drama, a drive to Stoke City come Saturday. Shh, but the Potters recently knocked the Blues, also the holders, out of the Capital One Cup last week. (Another) big day for some, hey?

ROY SLAMS YOUNG

Roy Keane has labelled Ashley Young 'an absolute disgrace' following the winger's diving antics in Manchester United's victory over CSKA Moscow. The former United player was incensed by Young's actions as he stretched his leg towards defender Shchennikov and went to ground in a bid to win a penalty during Tuesday's Champions League clash.

E L B U O D

! H C T U D

Hear that? ‘I'm not deaf. Zat's the opinion of the fans but afterwards zey shall not be disappointed’. That’s Double-Dutch manager-speak meaning ’Yeah, I heard ‘em - but we won, didn’t we?’ In the Red corner of Manchester the dis-United natives are revolting over Louis van Gaal’s negative tactics. 1 – 0 was just enough to beat CSKA Moscow in Europe at Old Trafford on Tuesday to stay top of the group and qualify for the knock-out stages, but now with clean sheet specialists and improving West Brom coming to the Theatre of Dreams on Saturday, 0 – 0 looks favourite – and not what the United fans want to see. Down, down, down, dawdling around the Dreaded Drop Department a daren’t-lose drama provides the early match on Saturday. Battered Bournemouth in 17th entertain

the furthest travellers Newcastle in 19th place. Both teams can’t buy a win – and both need one badly. In complete contrast THIRD-PLACED (!) Leicester play on-the-rise Watford, surprise conquerors of West Ham last week. One of these days Leicester won’t be able to come back from two down and win with goals from the Vardy-Mahrez machine. As for Newcastle, third bottom – are there magpies or vultures circling St James’ Park? Another serious sinkers’ syndrome is nervy Norwich v sliding Swansea. The Canaries are not chirpy of late, last week’s 2 - 1 defeat at Man City means fifth bottom, and while the Swans are 11th recent results – like getting hammered 3 – 0 at home to Arsenal does nothing for Monk’s men’s confidence. Another hit-forsix disaster was sustained by Sam’s Sunderland, smashed at Everton and the mauled Black Cats now have to take on south-coast-superiors Southampton, sailing on serenely now in seventh. Those Toffees, you mentioned? Well, a contender for MOTD could be West Ham in seventh v Everton in ninth.

Tight at the TOP!

A quick snapshot of the Championship contenders shows it’s very tight with a third of the season gone. Right at the top it’s a three horse race all on 31 points, with two trying to bounce back from last year’s relegation from the Prem. Steve Bruce’s Hull are going well, as are Burnley, and making up the trio is Brighton. Closely followed only a point behind are Middlesborough who only just missed out in the Play-Offs last year, and disappointed Derby in fifth also with 30 points. The bottom three are Bolton, Charlton and Rotherham. Oh, and finally, nice-guy Chris Ramsey was sacked from mid-table Quite Pathetic Really on Wednesday.

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47