The Courier Edition 254 by TKO UK

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30th October 2015 Friday November Friday6th 15th January 2016

KEEP ON COMING

Busy Hotels as Tourists Flash The Cash ALEXâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;TRELINSKI

oreign tourists to the Valencia region including the Costa Blanca spent just over three percent more in the year leading up to the end of last November compared to the same period in 2014, as hotel occupancy figures also showed the best year for the Costa Blanca since 2008, just before the recession kicked in Over five point three billion euro was spent by visitors in the first eleven months of 2015, with Valencia tourism chief, Francesc Colomer, describing the figures as very encouraging but stressed

the need to see tourists visit the region all year round, and not just across the warmer months. Meanwhile hotel occupancy rates for Alicante Province and Murcia for December 2015 were up on the same month the previous year. Total hotel occupancy for Alicante Province for the whole of last year stood at 66.5 percent, with the Costa Blanca, including Benidorm, hitting 76.8 percent in the best figures since 2008, according to the regional hoteliers association, HOSBEC. HOSBEC say that the domestic market is on the

rise, and accounts for some 60 percent of the occupancy rates, whilst not surprisingly, British tourists are the largest group of international

visitors, with HOSBEC putting down the popularity of the area to easy access, a good range of hotels, and good value.

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News

Friday 15th January 2016

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A loyal dog caused residents on a Pilar de la Horadada urbanisation to call the police after the animal barked continually next to the body of her owner. Sofi's barks at the house on the Rio Mar complex got neighbours to ring the local police who broke into the building and discovered that her 52-year-old Russian owner was lying on a settee,

having apparently died of natural causes. Sofi's protective instincts kicked in and she would not allow officers to come near her deceased owner, until some of the neighbours brought their dogs along to help distract her. Sofi is now being made a fuss of and in the care of the local police officers until she can be adopted locally.

Abortion Riddle

Alicante-Elche airport has smashed its passenger record for a second successive year with 10 and a half million people using the facilities in five point one percent hike on the record-breaking 2014 figures. In contrast, San Javier airport registered a two point five percent drop in 2015, with the national figure coming to

over 207 million passengers, three million shy of the best ever returns at the height of the Spanish boom back in 2007. The best ever figures for Alicante-Elche, which opened in 1967, came as a result of a nine percent rise in domestic users, coupled with a four and half percent increase in international customers,

Market Switch

Nicola Cross

Orihuela's popular annual Medieval Market has been put back to the start of April, just weeks before it was due to be held over the first weekend of February. Fiestas councillor, Mariola Rocamora, said the switch to the weekend starting April 8th was due to work being carried out around the Plaza de Santa Lucía and claimed as well that the change would allow more tourists to enjoy the event, along with the likelihood of better weather. Some groups were reported to be taken by surprise over the announcement with less than a month to go before the scheduled staging of the event.

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Writers Alex Trelinski Mark Nolan Jeanette Erath Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies Nicola Cross

The National Police have been rifling through a Catral home’s rubbish bins, as well as a rubbish dump at Elche to try to find the fetus of an unborn baby as they investigate allegations of an illegal abortion. A Catral couple were arrested last week over the possible abortion after Elche General Hospital had their suspicions aroused after the woman claimed to medics that she lost the fetus "naturally" when she went to the toilet. The National Police were called in after doctors didn't believe her story saying that

what happened was medically impossible, with the maternal grandmother also being detained. All three people have been bailed to appear before a judge at a later date. National Police officers have searched rubbish bins in the vicinity of the couple’s property in Catral, as well as the waste plant in Elche where the disposal lorries go to ahead of the rubbish being taken to Xixona. Agents spent three hours sifting through around four thousand kilos of trash at the plant, but with no success.

with over forty percent coming from the United Kingdom. The bottom line saw half a million more people travelling to and from the airport last year compared to 2014, with the facility the fifth busiest on mainland Spain, with Madrid leading the pack, followed by Barcelona, Mallorca, and Malaga.

Doggy Beach Santa Pola is to get a dog beach this year with part of the cape area being allocated for the animals and their owners. The beach will not be exclusive for dogs, and

owners are to be given a strict set of rules like make sure that droppings must be picked up; bathers must not be disturbed; and all animals must be microchipped, as well as no more

than two dogs being allowed per person. A full detailed list of the proposed regulations has been published on the municipality website, www.santapola.es

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News

Friday 15th January 2016

Pet Killers Return

Record mild winter temperatures have brought forward the annual onset of processionary caterpillars. They nest in pine trees only and are not dangerous to human health, but can cause very unpleasant skin irritations with stinging, itching and redness which need to be treated as a priority by medical staff. And they are extremely harmful to pets - if dogs or cats come into contact with processionary caterpillars,

they should be taken to the vet immediately, attending an emergency clinic if they are affected out of hours, since any delay can be fatal. The caterpillars themselves stay on the trees, but their spit - which can be easily seen as a large lump of foam on the pine branches and needles - is what causes skin problems in people and serious health issues in animals Pine forests and the hilly

areas in the Elche, Santa Pola, and La Marina village areas are said to be especially affected with environmentalists saying that the numbers of caterpillars are substantially up on previous years. Low rainfall and warm temperatures have led to the greater problem, with the trees becoming even more vulnerable to the caterpillars. Elche council though say that they have not received any complaints so far.

Car Free? Key roads in the centre of Almoradi could end up being pedestrianised in an attempt to boost business, in plans being put forward by mayor, Jaime Pérez. He's planning to talk to local traders and residents around areas like Calles Mayor, Antonio Sequeros and Cervantes to get their views on his idea, which Pérez says would hopefully encourage more bars and restaurants to create terrace areas. He also told the La Verdad newspaper that he hopes to retender for the halted drainage works based at La Plaza de la

France plans coalition meeting on Islamic State. Italy arrests man over murder of U.S. woman Ashley Olsen. Israel's Shimon Peres suffers 'mild' heart attack. Libertad linking through to Avenida de Algorfa, due to the previous tender going bankrupt.

Better Boardwalk

Alicante Wetlands association to the Guardia Civil's environment division, Seprona. Andrés Navarro of Queremos Guardamar has contacted the mayor, José Luis Sáez, over what

he described as the embarrassing sight of rubbish that had accumulated in some sections of the river during the recent holiday period, with even a dead dog being spotted.

Corvera Cost

Blast in fireworks factory kills 5 in central Chinese town. Zimbabwe denies reports of Mugabe's death. France targets IS site near Iraq's Mosul in new airstrikes. Malaysia on high alert following Jakarta bomb attacks.

Dirty Segura The locally orintated Queremos Guardamar (We Guardamar) party has criticised the state of River Segura in the municipality following last month's complaint by the South

Conservationists welcome Hong Kong move to ban ivory trade.

An 800 thousand euro contract has been awarded for improvements to the boardwalk in Torrevieja between Punta Margalla and Avenida de las Habaneras. The Dipsa company will start work in the

next six weeks on the project with it scheduled to be completed ahead of the summer peak season. The work will see new paving, lighting, and benches as well as play areas.

Father and Son

Indonesian authorities warned last month of terrorist threat. Report says Putin may have consulted on doping. Second aid convoy leaves Damascus for besieged Syrian town Madaya. Strong earthquake shakes northern Japan; no tsunami warning. WHO to declare Ebola outbreak over, as Liberia gets all-clear.

Murcia's unopened international airport at Corvera which was completed four years ago has so far cost the regional government some 30 million euro in security and maintenance costs, according to a report in the L'Opinion De Murcia newspaper. Legal wrangles and a dispute involving the airport's previous operator, Aeromur, have all helped to add to the delay, with the Supreme Court ruling in

October that the government was right to tear up the contract with Aeromur. The Murcia government got a financial life from a court last week that ordered Aeromur to pay them seven million euro because the judges ruled that Aeromur had broken its contract to be the operator of Corvera, and this sum had been lodged as a bond or “guarantee” now returns to the regional

authority. Observers suggest that it will be at least a year before the airport starts to accept flights once a new contest is settled over Aeromur's replacement, with tenders expected to be advertised within the next couple of months, with current San Javier and Alicante-Elche operator, AENA, regarded as the favourite to win the franchise.

Severe weather in Sydney kills one, disrupts flights. A Swedish man has been arrested by the Guardia Civil in connection with the death of his 65-year-old father, whose body was found in a Torrevieja house on Monday. Reports suggest that the two men had only lived in Spain for around a month and that the son called in the emergency services to say that his father had suffered a heart

attack. Guardia agents went to the property on Calle Santander and discovered the deceased man with a head wound as well as bruising across his body. Some reports claim that neighbours heard a number of heated arguments between the two men during the few weeks they lived in the area.

Uncertainty in Guatemala as new president takes office. Irishman sentenced to prison for rhinoceros horn trafficking. 3 US volunteers killed in Honduras bus crash.

All Aboard Santa Pola's new two and a half million euro bus station is now fully operational, after work has been done to reduce the noise after complaints about the sound levels of the bus scanners from local residents. The franchise holder Vectalia was ordered by Santa Pola council to sort out the issue, and has now been granted an official operating license, with three companies now using the terminal.

Callosa Work Urgent road resurfacing and drainage work around the historical part of Callosa de Segura are pencilled in for this year at a budget of 180 thousand euro. The project is being paid for by Alicante Provincial Council with sewage pipe replacement planned for Calles Carlos I and Santa Rita as well as the Paseo de la Estación. in addition to other enhancements around the town.

Deadly Water 437 people lost their lives through drowning in Spain last year, according to figures from the Federación de Salvamento y Socorrismo. 58 percent of the deaths were at the seaside with July being the most deadly month, with over 20 percent of the year's fatalities recorded in that month.

Keeping Time Iberia was the most punctual European airline in 2015 and the second most punctual in the world, with 88.97% of its 187,538 flights arriving on time. The Spanish carrier moved up one place on the worldwide list, having come in third overall in 2014. Iberia Express topped the "lowcost" punctuality league table for the second consecutive year with 93.5% of its 31,355 flights arriving on time. Both Iberia and Iberia Express have improved their punctuality in 2015 compared with the previous year despite operating 10.1% and 27.5% more flights respectively. The two airlines have opened up more than 30 new routes between them over the past two years.

Friday 15th January 2016

Cost Cutting Algorfa council will save nearly five thousand euro a year by ending a computer maintenance contract that was inherited from the previous Partido Popular administration, according to mayor Manuel Ros. It's part of a spending review that Ros claims has also seen fuel costs cut for municipality vehicles by signing with a local dealer who offered a four cent per litre reduction on normal diesel costs as opposed to having to travel to Almoradi under a previous contract.

Fatal Fall

A man fell and died after trying to climb into his Alicante City flat window from an adjoining apartment after he had left his keys inside. The 52-yearold Ecuadorian had tied a rope around him with the help of a neighbour on the

fourth floor and then started his fatal descent to the flat below, as he failed to swing into an open window, but fatally catapulted himself into a gap which saw him fall onto the pavement on Calle Doctor Buades de Alicante.

A Clearer View

Elche's General Hospital is the first hospital in the Valencia region and one of only five facilities in Spain to have new state of the art laser technology to perform sight-saving cataract operations. The ophthalmology department now has a new single Femtosecond laser in its armoury which medics say gives greater accuracy as well as cutting down on

unwanted side-effects and risks. 65 percent of operations in the hospital's eye department in 2014 were to do with cataracts, and the laser is expected to be used in at least half of those procedures this year. Risks of associated damage through conventional surgery are greatly reduced with a far quicker recovery time for patients.

Aqua Plan

Mystery Over Brit Hit

A 60-year-old British man was shot after a gang of intruders broke into his Murcia area home at Abaran last week. The Guardia Civil believe the victim may have been shot during the break in, with the intruders then driving him and his 58-year-old wife away from the property in their own car towards Mula. Other reports though suggest that the shooting might have happened in the car itself. The injured man, identified with the initials E.F. was taken to the Morales Meseguer hospital, before being transferred

to Cieza, where his injuries were described as not being life-threatening. The man's wife, who is also British, told the Guardia that three men of North African appearance broke into their home, and demanded property including jewellery. When they refused to hand anything over, they bundled into their car and headed towards Mula. The vehicle was later found abandoned some 40 kilometres away at El Palmar, with the Guardia trying to piece together exactly what happened, as

reports suggest that parts of the woman’s story didn’t add up. Speculation in some media sources suggest that the couple owed money, and it has been confirmed as factually accurate that authorities raided the same address that the intruders broke into, back in 2014, and arrested two British nationals and two Spaniards on drug possession and distribution charges. 74 kilos of marijuana and 56 kilos of hashish were impounded on that occasion along with 11 thousand euro in cash.

Arena Hearing

The trial over a deadly Halloween stampede in Madrid opened on Tuesday, three years after five young women were crushed at a rave party in an overcrowded stadium. Three women aged between 18 and 20 were killed in the "human avalanche" in the early hours of November 1, 2012 at the Madrid-Arena venue, and two others aged 17 and 20 died later in hospital from

their injuries. A further 16 people were injured. In the dock is Miguel Angel Flores, the owner of a private company that organised the event, as well as 14 other defendants in a trial that will last until May. Flores has been charged with criminally negligent manslaughter and causing injury, accused of having "sacrificed security" for a "disproportionate" love of

profit. According to the indictment, some 23,000 tickets were sold for the event which took place in a venue that only had the capacity for 10,620 people. The dance floor was so overcrowded that people could not move, "which caused a lot of distress... aggravated by the more or less advanced state of drunkeness of many present," the indictment said.

Hit And Run Plans are afoot for a new aqua complex for Pilar de la Horadada at a cost of half a million euros to replace the 30 de Julio outdoor swimming pool which had to be closed at the height of last summer due to safety con-

cerns. Planning councillor, Alfonso Armenteros, is to lead the overhaul which will transform the current pool site, which he inspected last week. A splash park and a beach area will be part of the project.

A man has been charged with dangerous driving after hitting a pedestrian on a Torrevieja street with so much force that his victim was hurled some five metres before falling unconscious onto the ground. The incident happened at the junction of Calles Ramón

Gallud and Zoa at a zebra crossing, with the German motorist failing to stop after the collision. An off-duty Guardia Civil officer saw what happened and started to pursue the car and a high-speed chase ensued as the offending vehicle travelled in an errat-

ic and dangerous manner as it headed towards the N332. Other Guardia cars joined in the chase which went on for several kilometres before they caught up with the offending motorist and arrested him. The injured pedestrian was taken to Torrevieja Hospital.

News

Friday 15th January 2016

Cold Case A 44-year old Sevilla woman, María del Carmen QB, has been remanded into custody after a court appearance after confessing at a police station to killing a neighbour and then dumping his body in an ice cream parlour freezer. She was denied bail on Tuesday after appearing before a Sevilla judge after declaring that she had bludgeoned the man in the head with an object after he tried to sexually abuse her. She is being charged with premeditated murder. The woman went along with two relatives to the

police station in Dos Hermanas on Saturday night to confess her actions which included storing the victim’s body in the freezer of Heladería Otoño, a local ice-cream shop. The man was 62-

Lucky Escape

Two young Moroccan men were rescued after a house caught fire in Torre Pacheco, with one of them being taken to the Los Arcos Mar Menor hospital. The incident hap-

pened last week, but news was only released on Tuesday, with the Guardia Civil getting the call about the incident in the early hours of Wednesday January 6th. Officers, along with Los Alcazares-based firemen rushed to the scene and broke down the door to get in, discovering that the property was completely enveloped in smoke and that the two men were unconscious because of the fumes. They were rescued with the fire extinguished and not spreading to adjoining buildings. No reason for the blaze was given, though a report has been handed to the San Javier court.

Bankia Boost State-owned Bankia will scrap its annual 'maintenance' fee to its accountholders if their salary or other regular income is paid there. Charges for cards, bank transfers or paying in cheques have also been scrapped. Anyone whose

wages, self-employed earnings or dole money of at least 450 euros a month is paid directly into their Bankia account, or pensions or sickness allowance if this is 200 euros, will escape the annual cost charged for its use.

Rubbish News Torrevieja's plans for waste collection and clean services are still up in the air, though the mayor, José Manuel Dolón, says the matter will be resolved by June, when the contract for the current franchise holder, Acciona, finishes. Dolon would not confirm that the services would come under the umbrella of the council, despite earlier hints that it was his preferred option, but added that he would be talking with other municipalities to learn from their experiences.

years-old, married and the father of five children, and had been missing for around 24 hours. Police sources say that there was no apparent relationship between the woman and the dead man.

Surf Rescue

Two windsurfers aged 77 and 70 respectively were rescued off the coast of La Manga last week. They were windsurfing in the Cala del Pino area of the Mar Menor when they got into difficulties trying to get back to shore. Guardia Civil and Civil Protection officers went to the area and a rescue boat was used to bring both surfers in. They were taken to the nearby Villas Caravanning campsite, but later one was sent by ambulance to the Santa Lucía Hospital to be treated for hypothermia.

Wet End 11 people were rescued after their boat capsized on the Mar Menor last Sunday lunchtime. They were sailing around La Isla del Ciervo when the incident happened with eight of them being immediately being picked up by nearby vessels and taken to the Los Nietos yacht club, whilst the remaining three were brought ashore by a rescue vessel. All of the wet passengers were in fine health, though some understandably suffered from mild hypothermia.

Fuel Fraud Inspectors found that 30 filling stations were shortchanging motorists on the amount of fuel they were getting at Murcia region outlets last year. 309 stations were visited for spot checks in 2015.

Scam Smashed

50 people have been arrested across several Spanish provinces as the National Police smashed a credit card cloning scam that has netted over one million euros. 23 of the arrests were made in Madrid, with additional collars in León, Barcelona, Sevilla, Albacete and Valencia. 800 cloned cards were used in transactions in Spain and abroad in a Nigerian led scam with many of those arrested working in the hospitality sector in this country. The arrested group featured people of Nigerian, Polish, Spanish, and Pakistani nationalities as well as from the Dominican Republic and Guinea. 80 mobile phones; 32 SIM cards; and a host of fake documents were amongst the items seized by the police in their raids as well as over 13 thousand euros in cash.

Fruit Fall Local fruit and vegetable prices are set to fall due to the recent mild weather according to the Valencia Farmers Association (AVA), though they are warning that the quality of some of the produce will also be lower. The AVA say that some of the fruit skins are not as hardy as normal, and are concerned by the growth cycles being affected by the warm temperatures and the likelihood of a cold spell that cause a lot of damage.

Hotel Makeover Torrevieja's Cabo Cervera hotel has a new name and new owner after the Cevasa hotel group sold the complex to the Poseidón de Benidorm group for 11 million euro. The Benidorm company owns and operates six hotels in the resort as well as around Alicante Province and has renamed the Cabo Cervera as the Hotel Playas de Torrevieja. The chain bought the Hotel Playas de Guardamar ten years ago, and is currently involved in the major refurbishment project further up the coast for the Arenales del Sol hotel.

Mayor’s Guilt The ex-mayor of Marbella Julián Muñoz has pleaded guilty to a major property development corruption scam in which Bond actor Sean Connery's wife Micheline Roquebrune has been charged. Already sentenced over the 'Malaya case', relating to powerdealing and backhanders connected with luxury urbanisations in the Marbella area and in Los Alcázares, Muñoz's involvement in the so-called 'Operation Goldfinger' is thought to be an extension of this. Not only did Muñoz plead guilty, but he apologised to 'the people of Marbella' for his actions. Investigations into two companies, Malibú, S.A. and By The Sea, S.A., the first of which owned the Connery family's own villa and both of which are linked to an urbanisation of 72 homes, centred on relations between the firms and Marbella town hall in what was dubbed 'Operation Goldfinger'. Prosecutors believe Ms Roquebrune 'offered to cooperate with' the main suspects in the tax fraud case by agreeing to set up dormant front companies in order to launder the profits from the sales of the Malibú Apartments in the Costa del Sol town.

News

Friday 15th January 2016

Top Of The World Spain has once again improved on its own world record position as the leading nation for organ donation and operations with 2015 a ten percent rise in the number of donors and almost five thousand transplants being carried out over the last 12 months. Nearly three thousand kidney transplants were performed last year, followed by eleven hundred liver operations. The Valencia region

showed a big 18 percent hike in the number of donors in 2015, some one point seven percent above the national average, whilst the Murcia region is even better at over two percent above the national average. The region’s Virgen de la Arrixaca hospital (pictured) is one of the busiest transplant facilities in Spain and had the highest number of donor organs for operations in the country.

Exposed Bottom

No Messing Four Lithuanian men have been arrested in Alicante City for drug-running, after 39 packs of marijuana were found hidden in a car's false bottom. The National Police had been tracking an East Europeanled operation of people

buying vehicles with the intent of stashing drugs in them in false compartments with the latest batch being ear-marked for Ireland. One driver was stopped in Alicante due to the vehicle not having the right doc-

umentation and using false number plates, with sniffer dogs then discovering the hidden haul in a check at the police station car park. Three other people were additionally rounded up with another vehicle and trailer being impounded.

Chip Them The National Police in Alicante have a new weapon in their armoury, in the shape of the G36 assault rifle. Agents from

the Armed Response Unit will be equipped with the rifle which will gradually replace the semi-automatic Franchi weapon.

Princess In The Dock

All dogs must be microchipped in a fresh call from Torrevieja’s animal protection councillor, Carmen Morate, who reminded owners that the process is mandatory by law with fines of over 300 euro is if it isn’t done. Morate said being a pet owner brings obligations including the need to identify a dog if it goes missing.

Reality Lost

Princess Cristina has become the first member of Spain’s royal family to be put on trial. She is charged with being an accomplice in an alleged embezzlement scam involving her husband and 16 other defendants, who all deny the charges. She faces eight years in jail if found guilty by a threemember panel of judges. The trial in Palma, Mallorca, is seen as a major embarrassment for the royal family. Princess Cristina arrived at the court in Palma on Monday with her husband, Inaki Urdangarin, who is accused of embezzlement and money laundering. They made no statement to reporters. A small group of anti-monarchists protested outside. As the judges read out the charges, the princess sat at the back of a makeshift courtroom at the

public administration school in Palma. Her husband sat in the same row but court rules prevented them from sitting together. The case is centred on the shady business deals of the Noos Institute, a charitable organisation based in Palma which Cristina’s husband, former Olympic handball player Inaki Urdangarin, chaired from 2004 to 2006. As a result of their indictment, last year, King Felipe VI, who took over from his father Juan Carlos in June 2014, stripped Cristina and her husband of their title as Duke and Duchess of Palma de Mallorca, in a bid to undo damage to the monarchy's image ahead of the trial. Juan Carlos had given the couple the title when they married in 1997 in a lavish ceremony at the height of the popularity of the Spanish royals.

An American couple arrested after police found the badly decomposed body of their 7-year-old son at the family's apartment in northeastern Spain claimed last Friday that the child did not wake up one morning weeks ago but that they didn't accept he was dead. Bruce and Schrell Hopkins, aged 39 and 38, originally from Detroit, were charged with negligent homicide but were released provisionally after being questioned by the judge. Case prosecutor Enrique Barata said their passports had been removed and that the pair had "lost their sense of reality" following the death of

their asthmatic son Caleb. The charges come three days after the couple's arrest when police found the body of Caleb under several blankets on a bed at the rented apartment in the city of Girona where the couple lived with their three children. Barata said the exact cause and time of the child's death had yet to be established and that Caleb was known to be alive on Nov.15 when the family went to a restaurant to celebrate a family birthday. "The child was fine playing around and living a normal life. But one morning he wouldn't wake up," Barata told reporters. "The father

explained he tried to give his son resuscitating manoeuvres, cardiac massage and mouth-to-mouth breathing. But the child was unresponsive." Barata said that "from then on the family lost the sense of reality." "They would live normal home life around the dead body," he added. "They couldn't accept that the child was dead." Police discovered Caleb after they went to the flat following a call by the apartment's owner, who had gone to collect unpaid rent. The couple's two other children, a boy aged 12 and a girl aged 14, have been taken into social services care.

Dave Silver

Friday 15th January 2016

The Day I Turned Green At The Grocerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Shop

I was out shopping with Mrs S when my usual genial personality was cloaked in a swiftly-descending slate-grey mist and I was forced to flee the premises forthwith. 'Blimey, you don't half spin your stories with a melodramatic flourish,' sighed Mrs S, peering over my shoulder as I tapped away at my computer keyboard. 'Do you mind?' I said. 'I'm trying to write a column here. My Courier reader(s) is (are) waiting with bated breath to read of my latest exploits.' Mrs S sniggered. 'Oh, yeah? What's with the sudden grey mist and all that exaggerated rubbish. Why not just say that you felt a bit unwell in the shop and popped out to get some air?'

'Unwell?' I echoed in disbelief. 'I wasn't merely unwell. Such was the dramatic intensity of what happened, I at first thought I had been struck by an attack of Blue Demon Disease or some other hideous illness involving seizure.' 'Okay, okay,' sighed Mrs S resignedly. 'So would you like to explain to your reader(s) what brought on your paroxysm?' 'Er,' I blushed. 'I don't really consider that small detail to be significant.' Mrs S swivelled me around on my swivel chair so that I was staring into her determined eyes. 'I insist!' she repeated. I swivelled back to my computer screen and started to type out the truth . . .

'I'm going to have to leave this shop instantly, if not sooner,' I hissed. 'What are you going on about?' Mrs S hissed back. 'We're in the greengrocer's. What the heck can be so threatening in this environment?' My eyes darted around in fright. 'Just take a look at those handwritten signs in front of each tray of produce,' I hissed once more. Mrs S studied the signs and commenced to read them out. 'Cabbages, broadbeans, carrots, peas, figs, grapes and lemons . . .' 'No, they don't say that!' I argued. 'They say cabbage's, broadbean's, carrot's, pea's, fig's, grape's and lemon's.' Mrs S looked puzzled. 'Isn't

that what I just said?' 'Yes, yes!' I spluttered, 'But it's how it's been WRITTEN. The shop has got it wrong. There should be NO apostrophes. They are all PLURAL words and simply require the letter 'S' at the end.' Mrs S stared into the heavens (well, the shop ceiling) in exasperation. 'But that's nothing to get hysterical about, husband. 'It is a well-known and accepted fact that greengrocers get it grammatically wrong with their displays. That's why those punctuation errors are known as "greengrocer's apostrophes." Or should that be "greengrocers' apostrophes"?' I tried to remain calm but it was no use. 'I CAN'T stand it! As a journalist, those grammatical lapses offend every bone in my body. I am leaving this sales establishment immediately. 'You'll find me leaning on a lamp-post, breathing deeply with distress and shaking with shock.' Which reminds me. As a newspaper man for some 50 years, I always like to tell folk that I have printers' ink in my veins. But more latterly, with the latest leaps in journalism technology, I feel I should say that I have ink cartridges in my veins -- although cartridges in my veins sounds like I've just been shot. ('If you don't stop waffling, I

shall jump up and down on your varicose veins!' threatens Mrs S who is still staring over my shoulder at my computer screen.) Anyway, there I was clinging to the lamp-post when a worried-looking gentleman asked me. 'Are you feeling all right, sir? Only I couldn't help notice you staggering out of my shop. Is there anything I can do for you?' 'Yes,' I croaked. 'Would you mind telephoning the Grammar Police and inform them that a terrible crime has been committed.' 'Don't listen to him,' said Mrs S who had by now completed her purchases. 'My husband suffers from paranoia. He'll be okay when I've had a not very quiet word with him.' 'Very well, madam,' said the greengrocer. 'But might I suggest a remedy to calm down the poor man. I always find that natural fruit juice is a curative for most emotional problems. 'I actually don't sell those drinks but might I recommend that you purchase some fruit from my shop and serve it crushed in a glass.' 'Not orange juice,' said Mrs S. 'My husband has an embarrassing digestional reaction to clementines, satsumas and tangerines.' 'Oh, that's okay,' said the greengrocer. 'You can use any fruit, such as apple's, melon's, pomegranate's . . .' My face turned a whiter

shade of pale as I pointed a shaky finger at the concerned greengrocer and spluttered: 'Oh, my Lord, he even SPEAKS in misplaced apostrophes!' It was the greengrocer's turn to look ashen-faced. He turned to Mrs S and gulped. 'Did I hear your husband correctly just then? He claims that God speaks to him.' 'He didn't exactly say that,' said Mrs S. 'But if the Almighty did actually talk to him it would be only because no-one else enjoys engaging my husband in conversation.' 'Surely not,' said the greengrocer. 'Your husband seems a nice chap apart from his obvious psychological problems.' 'You want to go down to the pub one night,' said Mrs S. 'His closest companions include a bloke who sprawls on the floor semi-comatose and a chap who can't even enter the place because he constantly smokes.' 'Enough!' I groaned, still gripping the lamp-post. 'If my punctuation phobia is going to ruin my life, then I don't want to know any longer. 'Therefore, I wish to announce that my journalistic career has come to a . . . er . . . full stop.' And with that, I let go of the lamp-post and slumped to the pavement. 'Blimey,' the greengrocer observed to Mrs S. 'I do believe your husband has gone completely banana's.'

Life Saving Work Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has promised that a rail link will be built that will hook up AlicanteElche airport to the rest of the network. The Partido Popular leader made his pledge during a PP rally in Orihuela City last Friday, ahead of this Sunday’s General Election. Rajoy’s visit was overshadowed by news of a Taliban terrorist attack that killed two Spanish police officers at a guesthouse used by the Spanish Embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan.

On The Up

Spanish housing sales rose by 13.7 percent in November when compared with the same month of a year earlier, Spain's Statistical Office (INE) reported on Tuesday. A total of 28,733 operations were registered in November, the INE said, with sales of second-hand houses rising by 30.5 percent to a total of 23,129 purchases and sales of new houses falling by 25.7 percent in November year-on-year to 5,604 operations. Meanwhile, in the first 11 months of 2015 housing sales rose by 11.5 percent year-onyear, with sales of new houses falling by 34.5 percent and sales of second-hand houses increasing by 39.2 percent. Spain's housing sales have been rising for 15 consecutive months on a year-on-year basis, according to the INE.

News

Friday 15th January 2016

Magi Mystery

Orihuela Council is being asked how they choose people to become one of the Three Kings at the annual Orihuela City parade after it was revealed that last week's festivities featured the head of the local police and a senior National Police offi-

cer. Karlos Bernabé of the left-wing Cambiemos party has written to fiestas councillor, Mariola Rocamora, to check on the selection procedure, and is also asking why a public draw or an open selection procedure wasn't used instead to pick the Magi.

Forbidden Fruit

Farm thieving is down by 25 percent across the Valencia region last year thanks to the work of the Guardia Civil's rural Roca teams, one of which is based in Torrevieja. The government representative in Valencia, Juan Carlos Moragues, said that a lot of the success is down

to better communication between farmers and the Guardia, and quoted a recent case where the Torrevieja Roca team caught two lemon rustlers red-handed on an Almoradi farm as they were getting ready to drive away with one and a half thousand kilos of the fruit.

Life Saving Work A vaccination against the AIDS virus could soon become a reality in Spain now researchers have secured funding for their work. The Catalunya-based investigation centre, Hivacat, has amassed €11.5 million from an investment fund group made up of the capital risks management depart-

ment of La Caixa bank, the toiletries giant Johnson & Johnson, and the biotechnology fund Ysios Capital. Initial testing, followed by clinical trials, is likely to start within five years and, if the experiment is a success, the vaccine could be on the market between seven and 10 years from now.

Battlelines Drawn Again

The new Catalan President told MPs last Sunday that he would carry out a plan to separate the region from the rest of Spain. Hours before being formally confirmed as leader, Carles Puigdemont told the regional Parliament, “I am fully aware that we are starting a process that is far from easy and far from comfortable, but we will put into it value and courage.” He added: “This isn’t a time for cowards, nor for rashness, nor for renunciations.” Mr. Puigdemont became an unexpected new leading figure after an 11thhour agreement between Catalan separatist parties on Saturday to replace Artur Mas as the region’s

leader. The agreement was confirmed in a parliamentary vote later on Sunday, ending over three months of feuding among the parties. Mas stepped aside after failing to persuade the farleft party Popular Unity Candidacy — known by its Catalan acronym, CUP — to allow him to stay in office after regional elections last September. A separatist coalition won the elections but without enough parliamentary seats to form a new government without the support of CUP lawmakers. Shortly after Sunday’s vote, the Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy repeated long-standing promises to block seces-

sion, which the Supreme court earlier found to be unconstitutional. “I want to remind all members of the Catalan parliament that the state always works, and that democracy is equally strong, always, whether there is an acting government or not. But I will not hesitate to be firm or lack determination,” to defend what he described as Spanish unity and sovereignty. The national government has blocked a series of earlier Catalan independence initiatives, while the European Union has warned that secession could result in ejection from the 28-nation trade and political alliance.

Decision Looms Newly-elected delegates took their seats on Wednesday in the first session of Spain's parliament following an inconclusive election on December 20th that has left the formation of the next government still undecided. Within days or weeks of the opening session, King Felipe VI will meet with party leaders to see who is in the best position to form a government. The governing conservative Popular Party won 123 seats, but lacks a majority in the 350-member chamber. The leading opposition Socialists won 90 seats,

followed by the far-left Podemos party and its allies with 69, and centrist Ciudadanos with 40. The remaining 28 seats went to six small parties. It is the first time in nearly four decades of Spanish post-dictatorship democracy that parliament has been so fragmented, with at least four parties having a chance to take office. Traditionally, the monarch invites the election winner to form a government, but he can opt for other party leaders if they can deliver a more stable option. Acting Prime Minister

Mariano Rajoy of the PP reiterated on Wednesday his plea to other parties that agree on similar Spanish constitutional principles to support him in a minority government "that would count on great popular support." But so far the Socialists have refused to join forces, while Ciudadanos have only said they might abstain. The Socialists, meanwhile, offer to lead a broad alliance of mostly non-conservative parties to take office. That would need Podemos' support, which is being strongly withheld.

News

Friday 15th January 2016

Neymar In Court

Twitter Twit

The Last Nowell

A crane removing Christmas decorations close to the market area of Callosa de Segura keeled over last week. Fortunately for all concerned, nobody was injured.

Chick Deal

Prosecutors have ordered Barcelona football star Neymar to appear in court on February 2nd over two counts of fraud and corruption relating to his move to Barcelona during the summer of 2013. Prosecutors have also asked for charges to be brought against the Barça president, Josep Maria Bartomeu; former president, Sandro Rosell; Neymar's father, who is also his son's agent; two directors of the Brazilian striker's former club Santos; and the two football clubs themselves.

The prosecutors acted on legal proceedings brought by the Brazilian investment fund DIS, which has accused the defendants of fraud, claiming it should have received 40% of the payment that Barcelona paid Santos for the player. DIS, which held 40% of Neymar's sports rights when he was in Brazil, claims it only received that percentage for €17.1m that Santos was allegedly paid for the Brazilian when, according to high court investigations, the deal cost €83.3m. The defendants also

stand accused of corruption over allegations that Neymar, despite being under contract at DIS – and without informing the fund - signed a deal with Barcelona worth €40m to join the team as soon as he was a free agent. At the same time, Neymar is at the centre of an investigation into alleged tax fraud over the move in which Barcelona have previously made a supplementary payment of almost €13m to the Spanish authorities in order to cover what they described as a difference in "interpretation".

A Twitter user who said Princess Cristina deserved a 'bullet in the back of the head' has been sentenced to a year in jail. Ibai Otxoa, from Bilbao, is also said to have tweeted 'numerous' comments, messages and pictures in support of the now-inactive Basque separatist terrorist organisation ETA. Referring to King Felipe VI's youngest sister, Otxoa wrote: “Can someone shoot the Infanta in the back of

the head, please?” The comments were made between 2013 and 2014 under the username Ibai_93. Otxoa's sentence of a year in jail may not have to be served if, as his defence lawyer argues, the comments can be considered a single offence and his only one to date. For a first offence, where a custodial sentence is for less than two years, it does not have to be served.

No Flashing Please

Granada’s Alhambra Palace committee is trying to decide whether or not to ban 'selfie sticks' from the iconic complex. The ban could even extend to camera flashes, says Andalucía regional culture minister Rosa Aguilar. A 'technical commission'

set up by the ancient Moorish heritage site's management will 'study and evaluate' both aspects in light of the possible impact of flashes on 'sensitive parts' of the monument, and the potential for accidents to visitors caused by careless use of selfie sticks.

A new group in Los Montesinos is giving people a chance to sponsor a hen for ten euros per month and to get eggs and a chance to spend time with the bird in return. The 'Cortijo de Los Pérez’ has attracted 70 members from around Montesinos as well as San Miguel de Salinas, Orihuela and Torrevieja. 11 chickens are available for sponsorship, though Petra is already under the wing of the association president, Tomás Cánovas, who said the group was formed only months ago to promote respect for local environment and animals.

Friday 15th January 2016

Support Boost

700 euro for Torrevieja Stroke Support (TSS) was raised at a recent fund-raiser at the Restaurante El Alto La Dolores in Guardamar. The charity provides support to stroke sufferers and their carers, and hold weekly social meetings at their centre in La Siesta, Torrevieja, where services and activities include physiotherapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, as well as day trips

and guest speakers. The next fund-raiser at the same venue will be on Wednesday February 17th, with proceeds going to the very worthy Alzheimer’s Association (AFA), featuring singer/guitarist Woody. In the photo is Paul Owen from TSS receiving the money from event organiser Marlene Brown. Also pictured are Patricia Owen and co-organiser, Joan Rampton.

Good Bar Tab!

Kind-hearted customers at a bar on the Entre Naranjos urbanisation between San Miguel de Salinas and Los Montesinos have been raising money for the Help At Home Costa Blanca charity over the last 12 months, and recently they handed over the fruits

of their labours! The Inn On The Green bar at Entre Naranjos pulled together 500 euro for the charity with Josie Rose, one of the organisers of the programme of social events, handing over the proceeds to Joan Waddington from the HAH Quesada branch.

On Your Bike

Tapas and Chat The Orihuela focussed C.L.A.R.O. political group will be holding their second Tapas and Chat night tonight (Friday) at 6pm, this time in the YOLO restaurant and bar in Cabo Roig. Billed as a “friendly get together organized by C.L.A.R.O. wherein residents alike can get to know each other and make new friends in a very inviting and

social environment”, the get together is not politically motivated but serves as a platform for local residents and businesses to meet. C.L.A.R.O. will also be arranging for guest speakers to attend their monthly Friday Forums, with representatives from the N332 road safety group being the first guests on the 22nd and also on hand tonight.

Local & News

Brush Strokes

Hobbies are so good for you, both mentally and physically, so if you’ve always had a yen to try your hand as an artist, a new class led by Suzanne Stokes has started every Tuesday morning at 10.30 at Stevie’s Bar, next to the La Marquesa Golf Club in Quesada. If you’re starting from

scratch, you don’t need to worry as Suzanne will supply you with all the equipment you need and brings ten years of running classes in the area, with art groups in Los Montesinos and La Siesta in Torrevieja. There is more information on her website www.suestokes.co.uk, or you can call her on 680 961 025.

Parkinson’s People

Over 550 people took to their bicycles around Almoradi for last Sunday’s ninth bike festival organised by the local cycle club.

Some of the participants dressed up in costumes with the focal point being Almoradi’s Plaza de la Constitucion.

Do you or anyone close to you have Parkinson's Disease or a similarly debilitating illness – but still enjoy getting out an meeting people? Then a new group is launching this Friday afternoon (January 15th). Parkinson's People, is a new social group dedicated to bringing together active people with co-ordination

problems, and will be holding its first get-together this afternoon at AJ's Bar (formerly The Local) at the El Raso urbanisation in Guardamar. The meeting is open to anyone interested, and participants will be welcomed with free snacks and a room full of friendly faces. For further details, call Joanne on 693 103 290 or Donna on 966 262 988.

Local & News

Friday 15th January 2016

Making Melodies

The 70-strong Melody Makers International choir will be putting on their latest show, called "That's Entertainment", at La Zenia at the end of the month. The Orihuela Costa Resort will host two performances on Saturday January 30th at 2.00pm and 8.00pm, with the proceeds of a special bucket

collection going to Debra, the Butterfly Children’s Charity. The show, put together by musical director, Nigel Hopkins, will feature many popular hit songs, mixed in with musical favourites including a medley from the Phantom of The Opera, plus some comedy routines and their close harmony

performances. Tickets (Matinee: 10€ and Evening: 12€) are available from several outlets, including La Ponderosa gift shop at La Zenia, The CardPlace at both Punta Prima and Benimar, also the Debra Charity Shops at Quesada and San Fulgencio.

Carmen’s Cheer

Customers of Bar Carmen’s in the El Chaparral area of Torrevieja have been working hard to help those in need and have delivered again, for the third successive year, for the Elche Children’s Home. They raised the best part of fifteen hundred euro to get the youngsters a present each over the festive season. A list of what everybody wanted was obtained beforehand so that nobody was left disappointed, and there was some extra left over in the pot for a surprise or two.

Pets

Friday 15th January 2016

Stub It Out

Smokers are being urged to give up smoking for the sake of the health of their pets. An ongoing study has found that pets that are exposed to second-hand smoke are more at risk of developing certain health problems. Scientists at the University of Glasgow discovered links between pets in a smoking in environment and animal illnesses such as cancer, cell damage and weight gain. The researchers found that cats were more at risk than dogs from passive smoking, because of extensive self-grooming.

Dogs which had been castrated were found to be more likely to put on weight than those in a smoke-free home. Clare Knottenbelt, Professor of Small Animal Medicine and Oncology at the university's Small Animal Hospital, said that the findings show that exposure to smoke in the home has a direct impact on animals. “It risks ongoing cell damage, increasing weight gain after castration and has previously been shown to increase the risk of certain cancers”, Knottenbelt added.

Sniffing Out Some Doggy Facts

Dogs love to sniff. Using their nose is often the highlight of their walks, if not dominating their entire day. Their ‘nosiness’, however, can be difficult for owners to comprehend and even, on occasion, be embarrassing. The dog nose truly is a wonderful scent apparatus, even if we don’t quite understand all of its abilities yet! Dogs are born to sniff. The area of the canine brain that is devoted to analysing scent is 40 times greater than that of the human and dogs can identify smells at least 1,000 times better than we can! The dog’s superior sense of smell comes from 220 million olfactory receptors in its nose. Compared to the human’s paltry 5 million, it’s no wonder smell is considered to be the dog’s primary sense. When a dog sniffs, air is taken in and passes

through the olfactory epithelium (nasal skin cells). These calls are also found in a special organ that dogs (and cats) possess, called the Jacobsen’s or vomeronasal organ. This organ is thought to be important in the detection of pheromones (body scents), perhaps giving the dog its tremendous ability to identify and recognise animals and people. Did you know? • The ability of the dog to detect scents varies between breeds, with longnosed dogs able to distinguish scents better than the short-faced ones. The Bloodhound is thought to have the best scentdetection abilities of all dogs while Gundogs (like Retrievers and Spaniels) spend most time sniffing when out on walks. • Each dog nose is unique, with its own distinct nostril shape and pattern of

ridges and dimples. A canine nose print is as unique as a human fingerprint. • Dogs can distinguish the scent of individuals, both dogs and people. They can tell the difference between individual family members, even identical twins, purely by smell. • Dogs can tell from sniffing a tree of lamppost when a dog has passed, who it is and what status they have – male/female, top dog or not. • Dogs do not appear to distinguish between the regions of the human body which they sniff. Your armpits, to your dog, smell very similar to your feet! • A diet that is higher in fat and lower in protein than the typical dog food is thought to be beneficial to the dog’s scent-detecting ability, though it is only dogs who

work as scent-detection dogs that may need to alter their nutrition. • Aromas can affect dogs. Lavender for instance, calms them down and reduces barking whereas rosemary increases it. When dogs are just too nosy! There are occasions when the dog nose is just plain annoying to humans: • When we are out on a walk and they insist on stopping every few paces to sniff • And when visitors call and they insist on sticking their noses into embarrassing places In these cases, it is up to owners to take charge. There is no doubt that dogs love to sniff, especially when out and about in their neighbourhood. Allow them plenty of sniffing time, to satisfy their needs, but if you want to move on, give them a command such as “Walk on” and reward them for obeying you. If you are embarrassed by your dog’s sniffing habits, try to distract them. When visitors call, put your dog on a lead to control their movements. Teach them to say hello by sniffing the person’s hand and reward them for staying calm. While you may be embarrassed by your dog sniffing the bottoms of other dogs, this is perfectly normal dog behaviour! It is also normal for dogs to seek out areas of your home or items of clothing that smell of you. It helps them feel close to you, in your absence.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

CHICO Chico is a nine-year-old Alsatian mix who is looking for a home. Chico is a sociable little dog who loves company be it animal or human form! For more details about Chico and other pets looking for a home, please contact Cats and Dogs on 685 564 131 or visit their website www.catsndogsaid.com, you can also email them at info@catsndogsaid.com

MARRETTA Marretta is six years old and has been at the SAT kennels in Dolores for over two years. She’s a large crossbreed who mixes well with her kennel mate, is very affectionate and walks well on the lead. She is fully vaccinated, micro chipped and sterilised. For more on Maretta please call 966 710 047 or send an email to info@satanimalrescue.com

POPPET Poppet is nine years old and arrived with an infected abscess over a fractured rib caused by somebody forcing a barbeque stick through her chest. In so much pain and discomfort, but lucky that the stick didn't penetrate any of her internal organs, she is now healthy and happy and looking for a home. call the SAT Kennels in Dolores on 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

SIMBA Simba is a stunning six month old Galgo cross and in desperate need of a new home. Sadly his owners are no longer able give a young pup the attention he needs because of having to work long hours. Simba is great with other dogs and children and is a very happy, healthy boy. For info, call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

TITUS Titus needs a new home as his owner’s health has sadly declined and is unable to take Titus out for his daily walks. He is a two and a half year old boxer, good with children and other dogs. He’s chipped, vaccinated and will be neutered. Titus has an excellent temperament, energetic and likes to play with his toys. For more details, call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

TORITO Torito is a beautiful and quiet cat of around two years of age. He is very friendly and sweet with people and makes no noise at all. Being a quiet little cat, Torito is suitable for people who want to have a little friend who never disturbs anybody. For information about Torito, and many other pets looking for a home, call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Friday 15th January 2016

Ten Tips For A Prosperous Retirement

13 From reducing your tax bills to checking your pension investments and taking professional advice, check out these top 10 tips for a more comfortable life in retirement. 1. Think about how long you might live. Most of us have no idea when we will die, but it is crucial not to underestimate how long you might be around for or you could end up spending your pension savings too quickly. 2. Donยนt pay more tax than you have to. If you are thinking about making the most of new pension freedoms by withdrawing a lump sum from your pension, consider whether you might be better off taking an income in stages to use tax bands effectively. Withdrawing the whole amount could mean you pay the top tax rates. 3. Seek professional advice. Retirement planning is never a case of one size fits all, so get independent financial advice to help you make the most of your pension savings. 4. Look at the charges you are paying on your pension. The more you pay in charges the less remains in your pension pot. If you are considering transferring your pension to a scheme with lower charges, check first whether you will have to pay any exit fees. 5. Make the most of tax-free cash. You can withdraw up to 25% of your pension once you reach the age of 55 entirely tax-free. There will be tax to pay on any amount you withdraw over this limit. 6. Get the best annuity you can. If you are considering using some or all of your pension pot to buy an annuity, or income for life, make sure you shop around to find the best possible rates. 7. Find out how much state pension you might be entitled to. The state pension alone certainly will not provide you with a prosperous retirement, but it can boost your income every month. 8. Check your pension investments. Donยนt just pile money into your pension without knowing exactly where it is being invested. You should regularly review these investments so that they stay in line with your risk profile and objectives. 9. Track down old pensions Most of us will have worked for a number of employers over the years and it can be easy to lose track of old pensions. You can find old pensions through the Pension Tracing Service. 10. Review other savings and investments. If you have got savings and investments, make sure they are working as hard as possible for you. Compare rates paid on your savings accounts with those offered by alternative providers and move your money if higher returns are available elsewhere.

Friday 15th January 2016

Tony Mayes - About Life

Obama’s Tears Of Frustration One of the most moving things that happened recently was to see one of the world's leaders crying crying in despair over his country. Barack Obama went up many notches in my estimation when I saw and heard him talking about his utter frustration at being unable to persuade Americans to end their love affair with guns, with tears appearing in both his eyes. Many times I have written in this column about how crazy the Americans are over not even attempting to reduce the number of guns in public ownership. But, if anything, the reality is that ownership is increasing. Every time there's some bad news around the world, it feeds on Americans' fears that they are at risk. And the more people are frightened at the possibility that an act of terrorism may occur on their doorstep, the more they want to protect themselves. The result is paranoia - people keeping a loaded gun by their bedside at night and having a handgun in their handbag or pocket...just in case. The result of all this is that Americans are increasingly worried sick about their own safety. And with all those guns about they have every cause to be frightened, after

all, on Christmas Day alone there were 25 shootings in the US. This compares with 24 shootings in the whole of last year in Britain. It's no wonder Obama is reduced to tears over the continued slaughter of innocents in his country and he can do so little about it, as there's a gun lobby with so much money fuelling Americans' increasing paranoia, all wrapped up on the daft idea that all Americans have an absolute right to bear arms. That's all very well if every single American is totally level-headed and would never draw a gun unless under a very serious threat. But even if one person in every million in America is mentally unstable, that is a horrendous number of people who shouldn't be able to get their hands on anything more dangerous than a penknife and certainly not a gun. So, sadly, I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that there are many parts of America which I would not feel safe in visiting and adding to the growing number of places worldwide which to me are no-go. The recent New Year’s celebrations in Germany were marred by reports of at least 170 females coming forward (and more are expected) to the authorities

in Cologne with reports of robbery or sexual assault by gangs of men. Reports say that there were about one thousand people, mostly men, who gathered around the railway station, and who then split into smaller groups before attacking women. Of the 31 arrested as of last weekend, four are from Syria, one from Iraq, two from Iran, two German, one Bosnian and the rest Moroccan and Algerian. Women reporting the assaults all described the attackers – whom they had no choice but to walk past because of their blocking the exits – as being of 'north African or Arab origin' based upon their accents and facial features. The German police then revealed that 18 of those detained were asylumseekers. It's my guess that Germany has bitten off more than it can chew in welcoming so many refugees, some of whom sadly are bad apples as these women in Cologne and other European cities have found to their cost over the festive season. Here in Spain, the Islamic Cultural Centre in Madrid wholeheartedly condemned the assaults, appealing to Spaniards not to let the incidents in Germany cloud their views on Middle

Eastern war refugees, and to 'realise the difference between a few individuals who do not respect others, and the rest of the Arabs, Africans and Muslims in general in Europe who only want to live in peace and leave their hell behind them'. Meanwhile, after the Cologne debacle, German chancellor Angela Merkel is apparently seeking tougher powers to deport immigrant criminals. I imagine David Cameron is rubbing his hands in glee with the prospect of Europe's leaders lining up to support a renegotiation and changing the European rules over immigration. Perhaps it will be Cameron who will now be at the helm of finding a solution! One of the daftest things I have heard in the last week was to do with an outfit called the Lynx Trust in the UK want to have the species returned to British shores. They argue that the deer population is out of control and the wild cats will help control the numbers. What is wrong with these people - are they mad? These cats will take down sheep and lambs as happens in Germany and Norway where the lynx and wolves can be found. Farmers have enough prob-

lems feeding us, trying to cope with TB in cattle, probably spread by badgers which so called animal lovers won't have eliminated! We have supermarkets endlessly cutting prices paid for produce not to mention all the floods, droughts and storms the British weather throws at the agricultural community and now we have the prospect of lynx killing lambs and sheep. These environmentalists need to get into the real world. I congratulate the British government's suggestion that bottles of wine and spirits and bottles and cans of beer should have labels stating the calorie content. It shocked me to learn that every glass of wine I drank over the Christmas/New Year period was the equivalent of eating a doughnut! On New Year's Eve, I drank over the course of six hours six glasses of wine on top of having a meal. No wonder I put on three pounds in weight! It's so easy to socialise and drink far too much alcohol and this is part of the reason why more and more people are becoming overweight and damaging their health. So I welcome any move to make people more aware, and people should also be more aware of the content

of many soft drinks - up to eight spoonfuls of sugar in each bottle. If that's not a risk to health I don't know what is. Police have issued the 2015 list of crazy 999 emergency calls made in the UK, and here are just a few of the thousands of nuisance and stupid calls which have wasted the time of the emergency centre:'My parcel hasn't been delivered'; 'My neighbour's washing machine is too loud'; and 'My finger is stuck in a bottle'. A man in Cornwall phoned 999 to say they couldn't go to the toilet because the lights in his house were not working! Another caller, from Warwickshire, phoned the police genuinely concerned about a squirrel lying on the ground in a park. The squirrel appeared to be dead but being unaware of which service to contact, they called the police. Other 999 calls included this one to Surrey Police: - 'There's a spider in my bin,' plus: - 'My washing machine isn't working' and 'My TV is broken and EastEnders is about to start.' And finally, 'I think someone has stolen my eggs. My chicken lays an egg every morning, but today there wasn't one there.' How can some people be so stupid?

Friday 15th January 2016

Shetland - Starts Friday Friday - BBC One Acclaimed murder-mystery series Shetland returns for a new thrilling six-part tale on BBC One from Friday. When a young man disappears on a ferry crossing and a small boy ends up in intensive care, DI Jimmy Perez and his team become convinced the two events are connected. On the ferry journey from Aberdeen to Shetland a passenger, Leanne, witnesses an altercation between two men. She starts talking to one of them, Robbie, but discovers the next morning that he has vanished from the ferry overnight. Later that day a little boy ends up in intensive care, after eating pills he mistook for sweets found on the

beach. DI Jimmy Perez searches the shoreline and recovers a rucksack - but not before a hooded figure tries, but fails, to snatch it. Back at the station, Perez, Tosh and Sandy discover that the bag contains a stash of pills and the remains of a ferry boarding pass. Later, Leanne recognises

the distinctive silver rings she saw the ferry attacker wearing. This leads Perez to track down jewellery designer, Freya, who reveals she gave the rings to her friend, Michael. Perez questions a hostile Michael and is unconvinced by his version of events. However, his investigation is quickly thwarted when

Procurator Fiscal Rhona Kelly reveals Maguire has lodged a formal complaint against Perez. Now a missing persons and drugs case, Perez’s investigation gathers pace after a body is discovered in grisly circumstances. With suspicions roused, Perez and his team delve deeper, stirring up farreaching consequences for them and the local community. DI Jimmy Perez is played by Douglas Henshall, Leanne by Sara Vickers, Robbie by Andrew Rothney, Tosh by Alison O’Donnell, Sandy by Steven Robertson, Freya by Saskia Reeves, Michael by Ciaran Hinds, Rhona Kelly by Julie Graham. Also starring Mark Bonnar, Erin Armstrong and Archie Panjabi.

A Million Viewers Switch Off BBC One execs may be a little concerned this week after their latest epic period drama, War and Peace, lost around a million viewers from last week´s debut. That said, 5.33 million people still tuned in helping the channel secure 22.2% of the 9pm (UK) audience slot on Sunday night. Countryfile meanwhile remains the top choice for Sunday viewing with 7.40m

(34.2%) at 6.30pm, followed by Still Open All Hours with 6.99m (31.0%) at 7.30pm and Antiques Roadshow with 5.47m (22.2%) at 8pm. Over on ITV, Beowulf also suffered a drop with just 2.06m (9.3%) viewers at 7pm (283,000/1.1% on +1), while Endeavour rose to 4.75m (19.4%) at 8pm (446k/2.2%). Channel 4's Walking the Himalayas fascinated 1.61m

viewers (6.5%) at 8pm (289k/1.2%), followed by subtitled Deutschland 83 with 820k (3.4%) at 9pm (237k/1.5%). On Channel 5, Celebrity Big Brother continued with 1.81m (7.5%) at 9pm (283k/1.8%). BBC Two's Dragons' Den attracted 2.56m (10.4%) at 8pm. E4's odd new timeslot for Marvel's Agents of SHIELD brought in 617k (2.6%) at

9pm (126k/0.8%).

Jonathan Wrather Joins Emmerdale

Established actor Jonathan Wrather has joined the cast of Emmerdale as Pierce Harris. Unknown to Pierce, his wife Tess (Nicola Stephenson) is having an affair with Emmerdale’s long serving vet Paddy Kirk (Dominic Brunt). But with Pierce now on the scene, is it only a matter of time before their clandestine secret is exposed? When Paddy and Tess first met she was open about being married but Paddy never expected to come face to face with her handsome husband. His arrival is set to be a dramatic one and he will first appear on screen mid February. Cheshire-born Jonathan has a wealth of television and theatre credits to his name and is best known for his role as Joe Carter in Coronation Street, a rag trade manager who served two years in jail for fraud. Immediately on release he was offered a job at Underworld by Mike Baldwin. Joe and Karen McDonald had a complicated relationship. Their first intimate encounter was a steamy session on Joe's desk while Karen's husband Steve was hammering at the Underworld front doors. Joe left in 2003. Jonathan was also famed for his roles in Silent Witness, Waterloo Road and Doctors. Jonathan said: “I am thrilled to be joining Emmerdale. It's a great opportunity to be offered the chance to create a new character in one of TV's most popular shows and I'm very excited to be working with such an outstanding cast and team.”

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI

It may only be midJanuary, but we’ve already seen one of the TV comedy highlights of the year last Monday with the return of Tracey Ullman to UK screens after a three decade gap. She found mega fame in the States and crazily British broadcasters never offered her any work back home, so there's a whole generation who barely know her or what a fabulous performer she is. That's until the start of the week when BBC 1 premiered Tracey Ullman's Show in a well-crafted and mainly funny series of sketches featuring her terrific talent for doing impressions as well as introducing some original characters. I loved her killer impression of Judi Dench, and though not every single sketch hit the mark (inevitable in a half hour show), most did work, and there wasn’t long to wait before the next one appeared. The library “song and dance” finale showed Ullman’s political leanings but such satire is sadly missing off

TRACEY'S TRIUMPH

British TV and good on her for doing it. You really were left wondering why nobody could be bothered (so she says) to have offered her anything in the UK for such a long time. There is only one criticism and that is why such a triumphant return has been buried at 10.45pm UK time, whilst second-rate fare continues to pollute the primetime schedules. Don't TV bosses recognise brilliance?

I was ready to sharpen my quill to give the return of Benidorm to ITV last Monday a real going over, having written in this column some four years ago that it was really time for it to end. But I have to admit that the start of series eight wasn’t bad at all, with Sherrie Hewson who plays Solana manager Joyce saying the other day that this was the best series of the show that she had done. Based on the opener, I wouldn’t go

as far as that as she wasn’t part of Benidorm’s early heyday, but I enjoyed the new characters including the scheming Bobby Knutt and Tiger’s dumb mate Joey, plus the return of Troy after a five year absence. There’s still life in the old war horse, but it would be so much funnier if it was cut to a half hour format. Having said all that, the show pulled in a brilliant five million UK viewers, only one million behind

Silent Witness over on the Beeb. That’s no mean achievement, and we still have the annual cameo to look forward to from Joan Collins. All that's missing from ITV's new Thursday night drama Jericho are some Red Indians running through the featured late 19th century rural Yorkshire community, with John Wayne holding them at bay in the local saloon. Bring back Amos Brearly I say! Jericho just looks a cheap western movie transplanted to a tale of northern folk involved in building a railway viaduct. The sets even remind me of those used to create that fake town in Blazing Saddles, but at least we got some laughs there courtesy of Mel Brooks and his team. It's as if somebody at ITV said: - “Hey, we need something to rival Poldark!”, but they've come up with a miserable mush that probably cost a few million quid and wasted some good acting talent of the likes of Jessica Raine and Clarke Peters.

At least (by sheer coincidence) when Corrie's Sophie was still to trying to remember former deceased girlfriend Maddie last week, we got a Victorian version from Maddie actress Amy James-Kelly who landed a good punch as she took revenge on a knicker stealer (seriously!). I suspect though she's also taken time out to work out why she quit Weatherfield for this twaddle. Another ex-Corrie star was back ablazing in the return of Mr.Selfridge for a fourth and final series on ITV. Katherine Kelly, fresh from showing off her singing talents in the enjoyable live Sound of Music staging over Christmas, was in delicious scene-stealing form as Lady Mae, having missed series three because of having a baby. Star and producer, Jeremy Piven, has clearly made sure that Kelly's character makes up for lost time, and it's undemanding yet very enjoyable fare for a Friday night.

Friday 15th January 2016

Call The Midwife Returns Sunday - BBC One The year is 1961, and Poplar is beginning to feel the winds of social change along with improvements in housing, sanitation and healthcare. But for the midwives and nuns of Nonnatus House who care for the sick and bring new life into the world, it's business as usual. The personal and professional worlds of the nurses remain entwined, as events in their work impact on their personal lives. Call the Midwife returns to our screens this weekend and in episode one, Easter is approaching, and for the nuns and midwives of Nonnatus House it’s as busy as ever, as babies are born to myriad families across the borough. One such delivery brings with it its own set of shocks, when Patsy helps experienced mother Rhoda Mullucks give birth to a baby

with severe deformities. As the mother refuses to reject her new-born child, the father struggles to come to terms with the harsh realities of his daughter’s problems. Support and intervention from those at Nonnatus

House proves invaluable as they try to rebuild this loving family. Meanwhile, the new exercise craze has reached Poplar, led by Nonnatus’ very own Trixie. But when she starts teaching a Keep Fit class, the exercises lead

Black Alert - Casualty

Saturday - BBC One In an episode that includes a cross-over appearance from Holby's Henrik Hanssen, Lofty's promotion storyline continues and maybe even reaches a

dramatic conclusion if the major spoiler I've NOT included here is any indication. The ED is pushed to the limit, but the team pull together under difficult cir-

cumstances. Feeling guilty and mentally exhausted after what happened with Olivia, Ethan is determined to give everyone the care they deserve - even though a black alert is called. Stretched to the limit, he fails to deal with a forced marriage and accidentally leaves a patient to die in the corridor. It’s the day of Lofty’s interview and he’s on the verge of bottling it. Through the

Did Mr Selfridge Survive?

Friday - ITV After the accident at the Queen of Time unveiling, a frustrated Harry is being forced to recuperate under his mother Lois’ caring, but watchful eye. It doesn’t take long before Harry’s absence is noted in the press, and when Gordon talks with a journalist, he unwittingly sparks sensationalist tabloid headlines about Harry’s advancing age. This stokes tension

between Gordon and Harry, who becomes determined to prove that he is not over the hill yet. The formidable Mae has started work at the store, and is hiring for her new instore ‘ready to wear’ collection. Interviewing new machinists, one candidate catches her eye – Tilly Brockless. The young and black Tilly stands out from the crowd, especially when Mae spots her chic custom-

made dress. Without references, Mae hires Tilly but Grove isn’t keen. Keen to quash any retirement rumours, Harry returns to the store with his eyes on the future. He opens a new, cutting-edge Technology Department. The Ground Floor is soon a hive of activity, with vacuum cleaners buzzing, hair-dryers whirring – the public marveling at domestic, technological wonders of the future. Mae’s delighted to have Harry back, but is very unimpressed when he insists that the infamous Dolly Sisters model her new collection. Mae is proved right to be wary as chaos ensues. The news that Connie is pregnant is out, which prompts soul-searching for Kitty. Having chosen not to become a mother – a very unconventional, modern choice for 1928 – she turns to husband Frank for support. Mysterious entrepreneur Jimmy Dillon starts to make his mark. His easy charm, business success and youthful confidence catch Harry’s attention. Harry sees himself in Jimmy, and we sense this is a start of a deepening friendship between them.

TV Winners

to a medical emergency for one of her group. The experience leads her to realise that women sometimes lack a basic understanding of their own bodies, and she aims to rectify it - one patient at a time.

course of the day Dylan buoys him up, he aces it and gets the job! Jess comes to see Dixie to say thank you, and that she’s rescinded her complaint. She also asks Dixie out, but Dixie decides to do the right thing, and reluctantly refuses. Cal’s head is in a mess, and Charlie encourages him to go and see Ben. Meanwhile Big Mac passes his motorbike test.

AAFREEENGLISH TV ran a competition in conjunction with The Courier and TKO Radio in December. In celebrating the winners, Pete, the owner of the company, wanted to explain a little bit about what they do, and of course, the winners. My name is Pete our Company is aafreeenglish TV we have worked here in Spain for over 13 years assisted by Stuart a FULLY SKY TRAINED engineer giving you quality service and satisfaction. We have between us a wealth of knowledge regarding all types of installations, from a single dish for Spanish Tdt, German, French and Norwegian TV, plus more if it’s up there, we at aafreeenglishtv can find it. We also install community systems. We can install a single satellite or 3 or 4 satellites on the same system. If you want any Sky TV in English, German, French or Spanish we can supply it for a low price. We can supply High Definition even 3D. We now have the latest Android Receivers with totally free TV plus the fantastic IPTV Receivers with Catch Tv on over 90 Channels. Visit our web now for further information www.aafreeenglishtv.com or ring Pete on 606297825 to see for yourself. Thanks to TKO and the Courier Newspaper for their help in promoting the great Christmas giveaway where we gave almost 1.000€ worth of Sat Tv products to the 3 lucky winners Mandy Egan from Quesada won a Sky Receiver and 2 years free Sky. Norman Wood at La Marina and Kelly Anderson both won Android Receivers and all 3 were very, very happy.

The Getaway Car

Saturday - BBC One Dermot O’Leary hosts the first episode of a brand new Entertainment series for BBC One - The Getaway Car. The ultimate relationship road test, each episode will see five couples go head to head in an action-packed competition as they take on a series of driving and quizzing challenges. Their driving skills, general knowledge and above all their relationships will be put to the test over four rounds that will ultimately determine which couple will reach the final round, The Getaway Chase, where they will go helmet-to-helmet with the legend that is Top Gear's The Stig for a cash prize.

Saturday - ITV Paddy McGuinness sets up more dates in the sun for his 30 single girls. Tonight the love lift delivers Irish dancer Mitch from Bristol; diamond consultant Adam from Essex; musician Nathan from Salisbury and ice hockey player Rick from Blackburn. Plus, all the latest romantic fun and games from last week’s couples on the Isle of Fernandos.

Featuring The Stig, his tearaway nephews Blue Stig and Red Stig, alongside high powered supercars, 4x4 race buggies and the Getaway Car itself, mixed

Take Me Out

with couples under pressure and in with the chance to win £10,000, it is sure to be packed with thrills, laughs and a few screams along the way.

Friday 15th January 1982 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wanted Down Under 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Father Brown 15:30 For What It’s Worth 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

07:00 Rip Off Britain 07:45 Homes Under the Hammer 08:45 Close Calls: On Camera 09:15 MasterChef: The Professionals 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Masters Snooker 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys

Morning Good 07:00 Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Pearl has a confession to make

20:00 Masters Snooker The fourth quarter-final gets 20:30 Coronation Street underway at Alexandra Will furious Robert reveal Palace all to Nick?

20:30 Fake Britain Matt Allwright reveals the counterfeit shampoo hitting the high streets and the damage it can cause to those who use it

21:00 Mastermind John 21:00 The Martin Lewis Humphrys invites four more Money Show Martin and contenders to answer quesSaira offer more moneytions in the black chair saving tips. In this programme, they look at 21:30 What to Buy and banks are ripping Why The elite groundsmen whether off us 21:00 EastEnders Phil from English Heritage’s reaches a new low most visited palace road test the latest gardening equip- 21:30 Coronation Street What does Jamie have in 21:30 A Question of Sport ment store for Steph? Sue Barker hosts the light22:00 Bloody Queens: hearted sports quiz Elizabeth and Mary Hour- 22:00 Mr Selfridge After 22:00 Shetland When a long special revealing the the accident at the Queen of Time unveiling, Harry is young man disappears on intimate and ultimately recovering at his country between relationship deadly the Aberdeen to Shetland home. Keen to quash any ferry crossing and a small Queen Elizabeth I and Mary, of Scots, dramatized retirement rumours, Harry Queen boy ends up in intensive purely from the words of the returns to the store with his care, DI Jimmy Perez and two queens and their eyes on the future, opening his team investigate a new, cutting-edge techcourtiers 23:00 News 23:35 The Graham Norton Show 00:25 Would I Lie to You? 00:55 Film - Eagle Eye (12) 02:45 Masters Snooker Extra 04:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 04:50 News

nology department

23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 00:05 Masters Snooker Highlights 00:55 Film Puppet on a Chain (PG) 02:30 Question Time 03:30 Top Gear 04:30 This is BBC Two

23:00 News 23:40 Birds of a Feather 00:10 Film Thunderball (PG) 02:25 Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, She Wrote 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Jesse Stone: Night Passage 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News

21:00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast On the café menu this time, the boys are joined by Doctor Who and Broadchurch star David Tennant who learns how to cook an extraordinary Croatian black cuttlefish ink risotto

21:00 That’s So 1985 Looking back at 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev became leader of the Soviet Union, campaigning Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior was sunk and Band Aid raised 50 million pound for famine relief in Ethiopia

22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr returns to host a brand new episode, with Sean Lock and Jason Manford going up against Jon Richardson and Roisin Conaty 23:00 First Dates 00:05 Rude Tube 01:10 Film Beverly Hills Cop III (15) 02:55 The Restoration Man 03:50 Building the Dream 04:45 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:35 Deal or No Deal

20:00 Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud A compilation show featuring the most hilarious and outrageous dog-themed videos

22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Join Emma Willis as a celebrity housemate fails to make the cut and is evicted 23:00 Lip Sync Battle UK 23:30 Celebrity Big Brother 00:05 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:25 Tattoo Disasters

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

DON´T MISS 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 The Cube 08:00 Dinner Date 09:05 Emmerdale 10:05 You’ve Been Framed 10:35 Catchphrase 11:20 Dinner Date 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 The Hot Desk 14:30 Film Must Love Dogs (12) 16:35 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 19:50 The Hot Desk 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - 2 Fast 2 Furious (15) 00:10 Take Me Out

07:00 Man About the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Where the Heart is 09:25 The Darling Buds of May 10:30 Judge Judy 11:50 Sherlock Holmes 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Wild at Heart 16:00 Where the Heart is 17:05 Man About the House 17:40 Rising Damp 18:10 On the Buses 18:45 Heartbeat 19:50 Murder, She Wrote 20:50 Sherlock Holmes 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Blue Murder

07:00 Football’s Greatest 07:10 Duck Dynasty 07:55 Minder 08:50 The Professionals 09:55 Magnum, PI 10:55 Alias Smith and Jones 12:00 Duck Dynasty 12:55 Pawn Stars 13:50 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 15:55 Magnum, PI 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Counting Cars 22:00 Film - Pale Rider (15) 00:25 Film - Two Mules for Sister Sara (15)

SHETLAND BBC1 22:00

SOAPS

Victoria intervenes, knowing Adam needs to spend time with Johnny.

When a rival restaurateur calls in and makes it clear that he’s there to poach Robert, Nick sends him away with a flea in his ear. Zeedan soon lets slip that to Robert that a competitor called in to offer him a job and Robert is furious to realise that Nick failed to pass on the message. In front of Carla, Robert tears into Nick promising to wipe the smile from his face. As Carla listens, with her heart in her mouth, is Robert about to reveal all?

matum - either he lets him buy into the business or he’ll leave. Nick announces that he and Robert have struck a deal and Robert will be buying 20% of the business. Tracy is thrilled, while Carla quietly fumes.

In Emmerdale Rhona is distraught over the bad reference, wondering who could have given it. Pearl and Paddy feel guilty as they both fear they are responsible. Elsewhere, Kirin struggles with Johnny, who won’t stop crying. Adam can’t stay as he is unable to take seeing them together.

In Coronation Street, Robert tells Tracy that the only business he’s interested in is the Bistro and not her flower shop. Pointing out how much extra business he has brought in, Robert tells Nick that he’d like to invest in the Bistro but Nick isn’t keen and Robert is annoyed.

In the second episode, Leanne ushers Nick and Robert into the kitchen, demanding that they sort out their differences. Robert gives Nick an ulti-

The return of the detective drama set on the Scottish archipelago. A passenger on the Aberdeen to Shetland ferry witnesses an altercation between two men, one of whom subsequently goes missing, while a young boy is admitted to intensive care after consuming pills he mistook for sweets found on the beach. DI Jimmy Perez searches the shoreline and recovers a ruck-

sack containing more pills and a ferry ticket - which a hooded figure tries to snatch from him. Now a connected missing persons and drugs case, matters gather pace after a body is found in grisly circumstances. Faye enter the flat, flustered Anna does her best to act normal. Convinced Anna is hiding her new man, Sally calls out to him. Is she about to discover just who Anna is getting cosy with?

found

The prime minister's son, Mark Thatcher, is on his way home after being missing in the Sahara for six days. The 29-year-old and two team-mates were taking part in the Paris-Dakar rally when they lost their way and the car they were driving broke down. They were last seen on 10 January - but not reported missing until some time later. A massive search was launched, involving rescuers from four different countries, spotter planes and helicopters. Mark's father, Denis, flew out to Algeria to join the hunt. Mark, his co-driver, Frenchwoman Charlotte Verney, and a mechanic, known simply as Jackie, were eventually spotted yesterday from the air. They were running short of food but still had plenty of drinking water. The Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, on hearing the news, said: "It's all all right now and life to me looks totally different personally from what it did two days ago. It puts your other personal worries into perspective." Mark was reunited with his father, Denis, in the town of Tamanrasset. He told reporters: "If you're in London and somebody else is in the middle of the Sahara, one tends to conjure up slightly more imaginative pictures of what is going on than what actually happened." his latest behaviour. Determined to fix past mistakes, Phil goes looking for Louise. However, he has hard job trying to find where she is as the family aren’t so keen to help. When Phil finally tracks Louise down at school he hands her a bag of money before collapsing to the ground, suddenly...

Later, Tracy reveals to Robert that the rival restaurateur was actually an old friend and she merely duped Nick into thinking he was about to lose his fabulous chef. Will Robert reward Tracy’s scheming with a kiss? Meanwhile, hearing Sally on the stairs, Anna quickly shuts Kevin in the bedroom. As Sally, Tim and

Mark Thatcher safe and well

In Eastenders, Phil reaches a new low, leaving the Mitchells despairing over

Meanwhile, Shirley approaches Ben and ends up telling him that she knew that Phil was driving the car. Unhappy, Ben accuses her of trying to wreck everything. Kathy soon arrives and shares her fears about Phil, but can any of them help him?

Saturday 16th January

6 07:05 Race to Super Bowl 50 07:55 Film - Wonder Man (PG) 09:30 Film - The Prisoner of Zenda (U) 11:10 Homes Under the Hammer 12:10 Natural World 13:00 James Martin: Home Comforts 14:30 Bargain Hunt 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 For 19:50 The Getaway Car What It’s Worth 16:45 Flog Five couples test their It 17:30 Masters Snooker nerves, driving ability and 18:30 Victorian Bakers communication skills in a series of ridiculous and challenging car-based 19:30 Dad’s Army Captain games. Only one team will Mainwaring receives a go through to the final and a challenge from the Chief showdown against the Stig, Warden to play his platoon with a £10,000 jackpot up at cricket. A team is musfor grabs tered including Sgt Wilson, who is something of an all20:45 The Voice UK rounder Coaches Will-i-am, Ricky Wilson, Boy George and 20:00 Masters Snooker Paloma Faith assess anothSemi-final action continues er set of hopefuls at the Masters with the first 22:05 Casualty The ED is to 6 frames booking their pushed to the limit, but the place in Sunday’s final. team pull together under Hazel Irvine presents live difficult circumstances coverage from Alexandra Palace 22:55 The National Lottery Live 23:05 News 23:25 23:30 QI XL 00:15 Insert Match of the Day 00:50 Snooker 02:50 Weather for Name Here 00:45 Dragons’ the Week Ahead 02:55 Den 01:45 Film - Spider (15) 03:20 This is BBC Two News

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen 12:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:00 News 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Masters Snooker 17:30 Final Score 18:10 Now You See It 18:40 News 19:00 Pointless

07:00 Fort Boyard 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Share a Story 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Super 4 08:30 Scrambled 08:35 Bean 08:50 Horrid Henry 09:10 Nerds and Monsters 09:30 Thunderbirds 10:05 Tom and Jerry 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:15 Jeremy Kyle 13:20 News 13:30 Jeremy Kyle 14:30 Judge Rinder 15:35 Tipping Point 16:35 Doc Martin 17:30 Martin Lewis Money Show 18:00 Saturday Night Story 19:05 News 19:30 You’ve Been Framed

07:15 How I Met Your Mother 07:40 King of Queens 08:30 Ironman Switzerland 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 The Morning Line 11:00 Film Flash Gordon (PG) 13:10 The Big Bang Theory 13:35 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD 14:30 Racing: Warwick, Wetherby and Chelmsford City 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:05 News 19:35 Location, Location, Location

20:30 World’s Weirdest Homes Charlie Luxton presents a guide to 20 of the most unusual resi20:00 Ninja Warrior UK dences ever built, before Competitors from all over revealing what he considthe UK take on TV’s tough- ers the weirdest house on est obstacle course Earth 21:00 Take Me Out 30 girls all hope to bag themselves a date to the isle of Fernando’s

22:00 Film - Fast and Furious 6 (12) Hobbs has Dominic and Brian reassemble their crew to take down a team of mer22:20 The Jonathan Ross cenaries. Dominic unexShow Jonathan welcomes pectedly gets convoluted Sir Michael Caine and also facing his presumed deceased girlfriend, Letty Sylvester Stallone 23:20 News 23:35 Film Lethal Weapon 4 (15) 01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, She Wrote 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

00:40 Film - The Running Man (18) 02:30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 04:30 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:30 The Fabulous Baker Brothers

07:00 Milkshake 09:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:30 The Saturday Show 12:35 Police Interceptors 14:30 Film - Columbo: A Matter of Honor (PG) 16:00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 17:00 New Lives in the Wild 18:00 Ice Road Truckers 19:00 News 19:05 World War II in Colour

13:20 You’ve Been Framed 14:50 Film - What a Girl Wants (PG) 17:00 Film Bean (PG) 18:45 Film - The Lost World: Jurassic Park (PG) 21:15 Beowulf: Return to the Shieldlands 22:20 Take Me Out: The Gossip 23:20 Film American Pie 2 (15) 01:25 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show

20:00 World War II Battlefield Recovery The team heads to Latvia to unearth what really happened when Hitler’s SS Nordland division faced off against Stalin’s Red Army

ITV3

21:00 Chasing Monsters: The Shark Eater Cyril Chauquet visits remote waters to seek out the goliath grouper, the world’s largest marine fish 22:00 The Championship Highlights of all the action from the day’s games in the SkyBet Championship 23:00 Goal Rush 23:30 Celebrity Big Brother 00:30 Lip Sync Battle UK 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother

12:50 A Touch of Frost 14:50 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 17:05 Columbo 19:05 Lewis 21:00 Foyle’s War 23:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 01:00 Marchlands ITV4 14:15 Film - Captain Newman, MD 16:50 Film Tobruk (PG) 19:00 Storage Wars Texas 21:00 Storage Wars 22:00 Film Assassins (15) 00:40 Film The Glimmer Man (18)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Neil Couzins, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Sunday 17th January 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 Andrew Marr 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:15 Homes Under the Hammer 15:15 Eat Well for Less 16:15 Escape to the Country 17:15 Lifeline 17:25 Songs of Praise 18:00 Great Barrier Reef 19:00 News 19:30 Countryfile 20:30 Still Open All Hours Granville buys a large display item to inject a little bit of sunshine into shop life 21:00 Call the Midwife The midwives are shaken by the birth of a baby with severe, unexplained deformities 22:00 War and Peace Pierre fights a duel with Dolokhov, astonished at the outcome, he tries to change his life for the better 23:00 News 23:30 Match of the Day 2 00:30 Film - The Devil’s Double (18) 02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:15 News

07:30 A to Z of TV Gardening 08:15 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens 09:15 Countryfile 10:15 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:15 14:00 Extra MOTD2 Masters Snooker 18:15 Ski Sunday 19:00 World’s Sneakiest Animals 20:00 Masters Snooker Hazel Irvine presents concluding coverage of the Alexandra from final Palace, London, where a maximum of 11 frames will be played to decide this year’s champion. Shaun Murphy claimed his first Masters title with a 10-2 victory over Neil Robertson in 2015, winning all four frames in the second session to avenge a defeat suffered at the hands of `the Thunder’ in this match three years earlier. With commentary by Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty and Stephen Hendry

07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Share a Story 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Super 4 08:30 Scrambled 08:35 Mr Bean 08:50 Horrid Henry 09:10 Nerds and Monsters 09:30 Bear Grylls Survival School 10:05 Tom and Jerry 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:20 Jeremy Kyle 14:30 News 14:35 Catchphrase 15:20 Ninja Warrior UK 16:20 Film - You Only Live Twice (PG) 18:35 News 19:00 Unbelievable Moments Caught on Camera

07:15 How I Met Your Mother 07:40 King of Queens 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 14:30 Location, Location, Location 15:35 The Big Bang Theory 16:55 The Simpsons 18:30 Film - Epic (U)

21:00 Walking the Himalayas Levison Wood returns to the site of his car crash to resume the journey, and is reunited with 20:00 Beowulf: Return to the people who saved his the Shieldlands With life Slean missing, Beowulf and Rate ride out into the forest 22:00 Deutschland 83 While at a Nato conference to search for him in Brussels, Moritz gets an 21:00 Endeavour The assignment to seduce a detective investigates the security analyst’s secretary disappearance of a Dutch so he can install a microau pair, which seems con- phone in their office nected to rivalry amid the 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats city’s academics Does Countdown 00:05 23:00 News 23:20 Joanna Film - The Final Destination Lumley’s Trans-Siberian (15) 01:35 15 Kids and Adventure 00:20 Counting 02:30 Come Dine 00:00 Film - Headhunters Perspectives 01:15 with Me 04:55 The (15) 01:35 Countryfile Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Fabulous Baker Brothers 02:35 Holby City 03:35 Kyle USA 04:40 ITV 05:50 Kirstie’s Vintage Nightscreen Gems This is BBC Two

07:00 LazyTown 10:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja The 11:30 Turtles Championship 12:30 Goal Police 12:55 Rush Interceptors 14:55 Film Blue Streak (12) 16:40 Film - Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (PG) 18:25 Film George of the Jungle (U) 20:10 Film - Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (PG) Ace Ventura travels to Africa to search for a kidnapped sacred albino bat, which reputedly has the power to restore peace between two warring tribes 21:55 News National and international news Big Celebrity 22:00 Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside CBB’s vaudeville themed house. Catch up on all the drama, action, arguments, and friendships and eavesdrop on the latest conversations in the diary room 23:00 Film - Eat Pray Love Tattoo 01:40 (PG) Disasters 02:05 Super Casino 04:10 Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun

13:55 Take Me Out: The Gossip 15:00 You’ve Been Framed 15:55 Film Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (PG) 18:05 Film Jurassic Park III (PG) 19:55 Despicable Me: Minion Madness 20:10 Film - Hotel Transylvania (U) 22:00 Film - Quantum of Solace (12) ITV3 14:40 Sherlock Holmes 16:55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 18:55 Midsomer Murders 21:00 Me and My Guide Dog 22:00 Neil Diamond: One Night Only 23:15 Film - Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (15) ITV4 15:05 Film - The Hanging Tree 17:15 Film - Apache (U) 19:05 Film - Smokey and the Bandit (PG) 21:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 22:00 Film - The Client (15)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Tony De Love, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

Comparatives and Superlatives

Continuing with learning to put sentences together we are looking at verbs that, in Spanish, use indirect object pronouns, I hope you noticed from last week that these verbs are feelings or sensations, things that are personal, such as likes and dislikes. Last week I gave you some fill in the gaps, how did you get on? Here are the answers: Select the correct form of gustar: me __gusta_ la comida, le _gustan__ los libros, te ___gustan_ las pinturas, le _gustan_ las

verduras. Now select the correct form of ´faltar´: me _falta_ el dinero para comprar el sofá, nos ___faltan__ las palabras que necesitamos, a ella le ____faltan__ cuatro sillas, le __falta__ el botón. Now add the correct form of molestar: me __molesta__ el ruido, le __molestan__ los niños, les __molestan___ las programas de deporte, este canción me __molesta___, now put the correct form of parecer: La película me __parece__ buena, los autos les __parecen__ baratos, la

casa no nos __parece__ that it´s not too difficult to use cara. this form but you have to Did you manage to remember to use it, understand the and the best way sentences? I to do this is by hope as repetition. you were Say the going phrases through over and them over ish you again Learn Span e were until it e fr r u o with thinking sounds ls tutoria about the natural. words and We are what the thinking about whole sentence building a meant. You can see sentence and in order

INSTANT SPANISH

to do this we need to think about various tenses and forms. Now I´m going to carry on with superlatives. The way to make a relative superlative in English is to use ´the most´ or ---est with the adjective, for example, he´s the smartest boy in the class/he´s the most intelligent boy in the class. In Spanish it is simply formed by the construction ´ definite article + noun + más (menos) + adjective + de. For example: Juan es el chico más inteligente de la clase – John is the smartest boy in the class, just like in English the noun can be left out for example: Juan en el más inteligente de la clase, both of the above are correct. That is all you need to know for superlatives, so try and use them to make your speaking and writing more interesting. Now we´re going to look at comparatives, which in English is ´more…. than´ or ´---er than´ e.g. John is taller than Mary / John is more interesting than Mary. In Spanish again, as with superlatives, comparatives are easily formed by using one of the following forms: más (menos) + adjective/adverb/noun + que. For example: Juan es más alto que Mary, María habla más lentamente que Juan, tengo menos dinero que Carlos. If the comparative is followed by a number we have to use ´de´ instead of

´que´ e.g. hay menos de quince personas en la calle, tengo menos de veinte libras. However if the sentence is negative, we have to use ´que´ even with numbers, this gives the meaning of ´only´ for example: hay más de 30 alumnos en la clase, but no hay más que cuarenta alumnos en la clase. Have a go now at making some phrases of your own using superlatives and comparatives, and then read them out loud (en voz alta), listen and check your pronunciation, listen to the sound of the words and get used to them so that when you´re speaking it becomes natural and if you say something wrong you can tell just by listening to it, so you can correct yourself. If you´re thinking of taking classes, I have a great native Spanish teacher who will cover all aspects of grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation helping you fulfill your dreams of being a confident, fluent speaker. Mila´s classes are aimed at low to mid intermediate level and take place Saturdays at 11.30am for one and a half hours in Almoradí. If you´re not quite there yet, you can come to one of my classes with me and I will help you reach that level to move on with Mila. E-mail me at onevoicespain@gmail.com more details.

Monday 18th January

1996 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wanted Down Under 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 For What It’s Worth 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders A familiar face arrives in the Square with worrying news 21:30 Panorama A report on a potential medical breakthrough that could have life-changing consequences for the estimated 100,000 people in the UK living with multiple sclerosis, an incurable degenerative neurological condition that can result in permanent paralysis 22:00 Silent Witness An ex-convict is found murdered in his home and suspicion immediately lands on a recently released child killer 23:00 News 23:45 Tracey Ullman’s Show 00:15 Have I Got News for You 00:45 The Graham Norton Show 01:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:35 News

07:15 Rip Off Britain 08:00 Wanted Down Under 08:45 Close Calls: On Camera 09:15 World’s Sneakiest Animals 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Bowls 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Actors and friends Philip Jackson and Brian Cox take on the antiques-hunting challenge 21:00 University Challenge Quiz show for students 21:30 Only Connect The grand final of the quiz 22:00 Immortal Egypt with Joann Fletcher Joann explores the peak of ancient Egyptian civilisation by looking at the Colossi of Memnon, two massive stone statues depicting Pharaoh Amenhotep III, and examining the lives of the workers and artisans involved in the building of the Valley of the Kings 23:00 Insert Name Here 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Bloody Queens: Elizabeth and Mary 01:15 World Indoor Bowls Highlights 02:15 Royal Wives at War 03:15 Leningrad and the Orchestra That Defied Hitler 04:15 This is BBC Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Diane holds an open day at the pub 20:30 Coronation Street Tracy gets more than she bargained for 21:00 Griff’s Great Britain Griff visits the spectacularly beautiful Scottish Highlands 21:30 Coronation Street Carla puts herself in grave danger 22:00 Benidorm Tiger and Joey take a shine to new girl Amber, while Mateo is the odd choice to run a staff first-aid course. Eddie tries to make amends with Sheron after the near-drowning incident the day before, Kenneth could be in for a windfall after the death of his beloved Uncle Herbert, and Troy and Jacqueline come up with a plan to save the salon 23:00 News 23:45 Saved 00:45 The Jonathan Ross Show 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Kyle 04:55 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Undercover Boss USA 12:30 Four in a Bed 13:00 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 How to Lose Weight Well Dr Xand van Tulleken and dietician Hala El-Shafie are on hand as six dieters attempt the most hyped and written about diets on the market today 22:00 The Undateables Five years ago, 23-yearold footballer George had a near fatal car accident that left him paralysed from the chest down. George now wants a girlfriend, but since his accident he’s been too nervous to ask anyone out 23:00 Crashing 23:35 Tattoo Fixers 00:35 First Dates 01:35 Bodyshockers 02:30 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 03:25 Grand Designs 04:20 The Restoration Man 05:15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film Crimes of the Mind (15) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Police Interceptors Dog handler Jon is forced to wrestle with a drunken man, Dan has an earlymorning meeting with a drink-driver and a wine-loving shoplifter gets his just desserts 21:00 Ice Road Truckers Lisa and Todd face a particularly tough mission in the form of a dangerous, little-explored trail. Elsewhere, a crash threatens to end Alex’s season 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside CBB’s vaudeville themed house 23:00 Gotham 00:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Celebrity Big Brother: Flirts, Friends and More 02:00 Super Casino

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

DON´T MISS 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 The Cube 08:05 Dinner Date 09:05 Emmerdale 09:35 Coronation Street 10:35 Catchphrase 11:20 Dinner Date 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - 2 Fast 2 Furious (15) 00:10 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 01:10 Two and a Half Men 02:05 Mom

07:00 Movies Now 07:10 Man About the House 07:35 Heartbeat 08:35 Where the Heart is 09:40 The Darling Buds of May 10:45 Judge Judy 12:05 Sherlock Holmes 13:10 Murder, She Wrote 14:10 Heartbeat 15:15 Wild at Heart 16:20 Where the Heart is 17:20 Man About the House 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Bouquet of Barbed Wire 01:05 Sherlock Holmes

07:00 Duck Dynasty 07:45 Minder 08:40 The Professionals 09:40 Magnum, PI 10:40 Alias Smith and Jones 11:50 Duck Dynasty 12:50 Pawn Stars 13:40 Minder 14:50 The Professionals 15:50 Magnum, PI 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars 22:00 Storage Wars Texas 23:00 Ax Men 00:00 Film Sleepers (18)

SOAPS

Meanwhile, Kirin is not coping well with fatherhood and feels jealous of Adam’s bond with Johnny. How will Adam feel when Kirin demands he stay away from his son?

one of the builders at the arches site has accidentally cut through the mains power cable. Kevin is grateful as Pat Phelan, one of the labourers on site, offers to sort it out. Jamie and Lee also watch the Bistro, clearly planning something.

In Emmerdale, Chas lies that she has a dentist appointment as an excuse to meet Gordon again, but it soon backfires when Aaron follows Paddy’s car, thinking he is meeting Tess again. Aaron is surprised when he sees his mother get out and decides to follow her, but there’s an even bigger shock in store for Aaron…

In Coronation Street, As Nick, Leanne, Robert, Andy and Steph prepare for lunchtime, suddenly the Bistro is plunged into darkness. It transpires that

Wearing only some sexy lingerie and a coat, Tracy sets off to surprise Robert. But as she arrives at the Bistro, she listens in horror to a conversation between Carla and Robert. When Carla implores Robert not to go into business with Nick, he retaliates by telling Carla that their night of passion meant nothing and he only loves Tracy!

C5 23:00

In the second episode, In the Bistro kitchen, Tracy reels as Robert tells Carla that he regrets their night together, but his future is here whether she likes it or not. An angry Carla reckons that she can get Nick to change his mind, but a dismissive Robert leaves. With Carla alone in the Bistro, Tracy eyes the knives, hell bent on revenge. Suddenly Jamie and Lee break into the Bistro pinning Carla to the floor, they demand cash. Scared witless, Tracy quietly leaves, forgetting her phone in the process. With no sign of Steph and a till devoid of cash, Jamie and Lee grab Carla’s bag and

join

Six major environmental organisations today added their support to the growing anti-bypass campaign in Newbury, Berkshire. Friends of the Earth, the Council for British Archaeology, Greenpeace UK, the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, the Wildlife Trusts and the World Wide Fund for Nature all voiced disapproval of the new road scheme. In a joint statement they said that a solution to the serious traffic problem was needed but that "the proposed bypass route is not the answer". It said: "Traffic on the A34 in Newbury will be back to the intolerable levels of today within five to 10 years of the bypass opening." Yet supporters of the scheme say the new road will provide essential relief to the congested town centre. Contractors began work in earnest on the project last week but have since suffered numerous delays and setbacks. Clearance has been hampered by well-organised activists employing effective disruption tactics.

GOTHAM

After having been reinstated to the GCPD in dubious circumstances, Jim Gordon’s first case is to investigate the mass breakout from Arkham Asylum. Meanwhile, the psychopaths who escaped have already teamed up under the control of siblings Theo and Tabitha

Green groups bypass battle

Galavan, who announce the name of their new gang to the city by spelling out `the Maniax’ in dead bodies on the ground. do a runner, but she is furious and goes after them. As Jamie and Lee jump into their car, Carla clings onto her bag and is dragged down the street by the moving vehicle. Pat Phelan positions himself in front of the oncoming car, but realising it’s not going to stop, Kevin drags him out of the way. Robert rushes over to Carla’s lifeless body.

Protesters have built tunnels and tree houses and are using themselves as human shields to prevent security men and diggers from moving in. Thames Valley Police have asked the government to help meet the costs. In Eastenders, Louise turns up on Albert Square with the worrying news that Phil is in hospital. Still furious and confused over the recent turmoil in her marriage, Sharon refuses to believe Louise and tells everyone to leave, but Kathy and Shirley think they should go to see Phil. In the end, some harsh words from Louise force Sharon to give Phil the benefit of the doubt.Later, Kathy and Shirley turn up at the hospital but are surprised to find that Sharon is already there. Sharon reveals that Phil has already discharged himself but found out his liver is seriously damaged.

Tuesday 19th January

1973 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wanted Down Under 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 For What It’s Worth 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Kyle returns to the Square, but why is he back? 21:00 Holby City It’s a case of fight or flight for Hanssen when Guy vies to regain control of Holby Hospital 22:00 Silent Witness After the team discovers that suspect Paul may not be who he says he is, and was involved in an infamous murder in the past, the investigation revisits the fifteen-year-old case. Wounds are re-opened for the family of the victim as Paul’s psychopathic accomplice in the historical murder is visited 23:00 News 23:45 Reggie Yates’ Extreme UK 00:45 The Heist 02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:15 News

07:15 Rip Off Britain 08:00 Wanted Down Under 08:45 Escape to the Continent 09:15 Thief Trackers 09:45 Great British Railway Journeys 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Bowls: World Championships 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Esther Rantzen and daughter Rebecca Wilcox race in and around Reading in another round of the antiques-hunting challenge

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Carly spots a money-making opportunity 21:00 Trawlermen Tales In the last programme, the stormy season kicks in but the men can ill afford to stay in harbour earning no money

A look at the modern day entrepreneurs behind Britain’s black market - and the dogged investigators out to get them

22:00 Saved The stories of two car accidents which took place at night, beginning with the experience of 18-year-old Dannie, whose vehicle veered off the road and started sinking in a murky quagmire. The second case features a family of four who suffered a nightmare scenario when a tyre blowout left their car in the central reservation of the M5 and at the mercy of oncoming traffic on the carriageway

23:00 Phone Shop Idol 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Race to Super Bowl 50 01:05 World Indoor Bowls Highlights 02:05 Immortal Egypt with Joann Fletcher 03:05 Doctor in the House 04:05 This is BBC Two

23:00 News 23:40 Britain’s Biggest Adventures with Bear Grylls 00:40 Double Decker Driving School 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

21:00 Victorian Bakers The bakers move up in the world as they enter the year 1900, sampling work in an elegant high-street shop as improved technology starts to take the hard work out of baking 22:00 Barely Grafters

Legal

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Film Betrayed (12) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 The Dog Rescuers The coastguard are called in to rescue a dog stuck on mudflats in the River Dee 21:00 Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun The documentary following Brits who moved to Spain focuses on former miner Tad from Yorkshire who owns a handful of hostelries across Benidorm, dishing up English beer and food to Brits in the sun

22:00 The Jihadis Next Door Documentary which takes an intimate look at the people spreading extremist fundamentalism in Britain

22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Emma Willis presents all of the drama and action as the latest celeb is evicted from the house

23:00 Kid Criminals 00:00 Manchester’s Serial Killer? 01:05 Busting the Drugs Millions: Inside the National Crime Agency 02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Gillette World Sport 02:55 Ironman Switzerland 03:25 Embarrassing Bodies 04:20 The Restoration Man

23:00 Secret Life of the Family 00:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Celebrity Big Brother 02:00 Super Casino

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Ellen DeGeneres 08:05 Dinner Date 09:05 Emmerdale 09:35 Coronation Street 10:35 Catchphrase 11:20 Dinner Date 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 19:50 Alesha Dixon: The Hot Desk 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Mom 23:00 Film American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (15)

SOAPS

07:00 Man About the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Darling Buds of May 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Sherlock Holmes 13:05 Murder, She Wrote 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 Man About the House 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Bouquet of Barbed Wire 01:00 Sherlock Holmes As Chas and Gordon make their relationship known around the village, Aaron and Robert are at the hospital. While there, Aaron whispers something in Robert’s ear, leaving him shocked and concerned. What is Aaron hiding?

In Emmerdale, Aaron confronts Chas over Gordon and demands that she leaves him. Chas thinks she has talked him round, but Aaron secretly attempts to leave the village. However, he is stopped by Robert and soon collapses from sepsis. Robert realises he has been self-harming and has a bad infection.

07:00 Duck Dynasty 07:45 Minder 08:45 The Professionals 09:50 Magnum, PI 10:50 Alias Smith and Jones 11:55 Duck Dynasty 12:50 Pawn Stars 13:45 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 15:55 Magnum, PI 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:55 The Chase: Celebrity Special 22:00 River Monsters 23:00 Film - State of Play (12) 01:35 Ax Men

Meanwhile, Rakesh admits that he would like to have Kirin by his side when he marries Priya, but Kirin ignores them both. Kirin later admits to Vanessa that it’s time Rakesh faced the music, but Vanessa has other ideas and ruins Kirin’s plan when the police turn up.

In Eastenders, It’s the day of Charlie’s funeral. Kyle turns up in the Square to see Stacey, but Martin tells him to leave. When Stacey sees this, her illness continues to take hold and she grows concerned for Arthur’s safety all over again. She is particularly worried and feels betrayed when Martin lies to her about who was at the door. At the same time, Alfie tries to support Kat as she

MANCHESTER’S SERIAL KILLER? C4 00.00 In the past six years 85 bodies (mainly male) have been found in Manchester’s canals. Twenty-eight of those deaths remain unexplained, fuelling rumours about a serial killer who’s been dubbed “the Pusher”. Former Detective Chief Superintendent Tony prepares to defy the wishes of her family by attending the funeral, but they’re interrupted by Stacey’s latest worrying behaviour. Later, as the residents prepare to leave for the funeral, Stacey is surprised to spot Kyle and she protectively shields Arthur from her friends and family. However, she does let her mum hold Arthur when Jean arrives with Ollie. After the service, Kat is livid when Belinda secretly meets Tommy. Back inside, Stacey panics when she sees that Jean has given Arthur to Martin. When Kyle also turns up, it becomes too much for a frantic Stacey, who tells

Blockley re-investigates the suspicious deaths of Nathan Tomlinson, David Plunkett and Souvik Pal, but while it would be a real coup if he could solve them all in an hour-long doc, disappointingly he doesn’t. everyone that Kyle is the devil.

In Holby City, Hanssen is forced to face the consequences of leaving his family in Sweden when a young homeless man with a secret gets under his skin. Meanwhile, no longer Morven’s mentor and free from his anxiety disorder, Arthur actively seeks a new purpose. But when

Super tug to defend fishing fleet A super tug has been sent to protect British trawlers from Icelandic patrol boats as the dispute over cod fishing rights intensifies. The Statesman, the last ocean-going tug, will not be armed but has orders to defend the British fishermen against tactics such as wire cutting. The trawlermen have been threatening to leave Icelandic waters unless the Navy is brought in. But the Ministry of Defence has ruled out naval intervention at this stage saying it would only escalate the conflict. This is the second time Iceland and Britain have clashed over fishing rights. The first "cod war" took place in 1958 when Iceland extended its fishing limits from four miles to 12 miles off its coastline. Now, Iceland has extended its limits to 50 miles. Iceland claims it depends on its fishing industry more than any other country in the world and that fish stocks in its waters are declining. Minister of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food, Joseph Godber, said: "We have armed frigates, of course, close at hand which we could send in but we don't wish to escalate this struggle. "We think it is deplorable that the Icelanders are acting as they are, but we are sending this tug in as an unarmed vessel to give practical help to the trawlers and I hope that the skippers will find it of real help." Arthur lashes out at a patient’s relative, Morven and Raf suspect that he may not be fully recovered or is there something else. Elsewhere, Essie is excluded from a Levy family party. Ignited by Hanssen’s advice, Sacha commits to finding out why and is shocked by what he uncovers. Also this week, Jac is suddenly called on to be innovative by Hanssen but is daunted by the legacy of Elliot’s genius. Does a patient’s passion hold the key to unlocking Jac’s creativity, or is it just a lot of hot air?

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s puzzle, 3 represents B and 11 represents L, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Friendly (8) 5 Prejudice (4) 9 Pantries (7) 10 Humiliation (5) 11 Squad (4) 12 At ease (7) 15 Terpsichorean (6) 16 Period of 10 years (6) 19 Obstacle (7) 21 Gateau (4) 24 Annoyed (5) 25 Dizziness (7) 26 Pitcher (4) 27 Advance (8)

1 Absence of company (8) 2 Sure (7) 3 Locality (4) 4 Take heed (6) 6 Annoyed (5) 7 Look for (4) 8 Absconder (7) 13 Invigorate (7) 14 Ample (8) 17 Greed (7) 18 Large semi-aquatic rodent (6) 20 Dwelling (5) 22 Hurt (4) 23 Boast (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Detests, 5 Focus, 8 Miaou, 9 Operate, 10 Ask, 11 Lamb, 12 Taxi, 14 Bonus, 16 April, 18 Taste, 19 Enter, 21 Edge, 22 Away, 25 Run, 27 Outcome, 28 Guide, 29 Stale, 30 Torment. Down: 1 Damp, 2 Tiara, 3 Squabble, 4 Spoken, 5 Fled, 6 Cravats, 7 Specimen, 13 Ravenous, 15 Stranger, 17 Regatta, 20 Threat, 23 Agile, 24 Joke, 26 Bent.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES 27 Secure part of a villa Across Tchaikovsky rented (5) 1 Old Harry lived in a mess Down (5) 1 Tamper with entrance 4 She'd be well-known if outside court (6) you took her out of the 2 Composer rearranged farmhouse (6) drive (5) 9 Desert ship and take in a 3 Fifty and I'm past flabby gunner, that's sweet (7) 10 Temporary police force (4) 5 Ambitious new pairings poses a problem (5) 11 Give it the Order of (8) Merit, or leave it out (4) 6 On wild horse on land (7) 12 And not people in East 7 Tiny amounts in glasses, Anglia? (7) say (6) 13 Force it, literally (3) 14 I'd eat without a cuppa. 8 Straight to the point, though it's dull (5) There's a thought! (4) 16 Back on the Spanish 13 Buckingham Palace Christmas (4) ratepayer takes in hack (8) 18 Concert in a gigantic 15 Pointed looks that can arena (3) hurt? (7) 20 Cause of annoyance is 17 A graduate copper's biting insect on wild animal calculator (6) (7) 21 Help needed in a punt 18 Question the fence (5) 19 To do some sewing can (4) 24 Nipper changes each be a pain (6) letterhead (5) 22 Kicks off with encour25 Warning cry to main agement (5) watchman (4,3) 26 Somehow resist a sen- 23 Rock from Dead Sea scrolls (4) ior nurse (6) Down STANDARD CLUES 1 Medical practitioner (6) Across 1 Lucifer (5) 2 Italian opera composer 4 Well-known (6) (5) 9 Caramelised sugar (7) 3 Not firm (4) 10 Sheriff's group (5) 5 Striving for recognition (8) 11 Leave out (4) 12 County in East Anglia (7) 6 Situated on land (7) 7 Dust particles (6) 13 Set on fire (3) 8 Dull-edged (5) 14 Content of cognition (4) 16 Christmas (4) 13 Cut irregularly (8) 18 Small two-wheeled car- 15 Stabbing weapons (7) riage (3) 17 Ancient calculating 20 Object of dread (7) device (6) 21 Assist (4) 18 Interrogate intensely (5) 24 Crab pincer (5) 19 Sew together (6) 25 Sentry (4,3) 22 Increase (5) 26 Female sibling (6) 27 Door fastener (5) 23 Move by turning over (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Rabid, 4 Moored, 9 Magneto, 10 Tombs, 11 Nuts, 12 Elating, 13 Awn, 14 Avon, 16 Ergo, 18 Mad, 20 Pinocle, 21 Ha-ha, 24 Erato, 25 Stomach, 26 Steven, 27 Oakum. Down: 1 Rimini, 2 Bight, 3 Duel, 5 Outdated, 6 Ramming, 7 Dosage, 8 Women, 13 Anecdote, 15 Vintage, 17 Upsets, 18 Messy, 19 Fathom, 22 Alack, 23 Polo.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Go Of 3 letter words Are Ark Asp Axe Bra Fro Has Inn 4 letter words Agar Ales Area Baba

Beta Bolt Bore Bred Chef Chew Clap Crab Defy Egos Evil Fire Gale Gasp Late Mega Ogee Oral Pled Rags

Raid Rave Reel Ruse Scat Sell Slow Smog 5 letter words Abate Algae Alias Alike Blast Books Boots Chela Class Croft

Cycle Exalt Fable Forte Lease Melee Miles Moist Motif Orals Piano Piles Repay Sears Shell Sprig Talks Valet

6 letter words Asleep Astute Finely Please Pretty Pronto Smalls Spurge 8 letter words Essayist Moreover 9 letter words Breathier Tarpaulin

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Hermana (6) 4 Carta (al correo) (6) 9 Wave (in sea, lake) (3) 10 Lectores (7) 11 Ni (7) 12 Fishing (5) 13 Equal (5) 15 Bride (5) 20 LĂĄgrimas (5) 22 File (document) (7) 24 Corredores (atletas) (7) 25 Hielo (3) 26 Calle (6) 27 Corazones (6)

Down 1 Cucharas (para comer) (6) 2 Patinaje (7) 3 Tierra (5) 5 Example (7) 6 Tuberculosis (5) 7 To scratch (with claw, nail) (6) 8 Goat (5) 14 Absent (not present) (7) 16 To start (7) 17 Desvanes (6) 18 Cuevas (5) 19 Votantes (6) 21 To open (5) 23 Swan (5)

11 Across 1 City in New York State, to the south-east of Lake Ontario (8) 5 Painful and involuntary muscular contractions (6) 9 Stole the show, drew attention to oneself away from someone else (8) 10 In place of, or as an alternative to (2,4) 12 Pair of glasses or opera glasses held in front of a person’s eyes by a long handle at one side (9) 13 Hot fluid or semi-fluid material below or within the earth’s crust from which lava and other igneous rock is formed on cooling (5) 14 Male monarch or emperor, especially of Russia prior to 1917 (4) 16 Short introductory essay preceding the text of a book (7) 19 English rock band formed in April 1967 by Steve Winwood, Jim Capaldi, Chris Wood and

Dave Mason (7) 21 Mythological Greek nymph who was spurned by Narcissus and pined away until only her voice remained (4) 24 Nickname of US sprinter Harry Reynolds and footballer Ray Wilkins (5) 25 Shrubby aromatic North American plant of the daisy family (9) 27 Son of Daedalus, who escaped from Crete using wings made by his father but was killed when he flew too near the sun and the wax attaching his wings melted (6) 28 Third studio album by Madonna, released on June 30, 1986 (4,4) 29 Marksman who shoots at people from a concealed place (6) 30 Castrated animals, especially male horses (8) Down 1 Race between boats in

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

which each participant uses a pair of oars (6) 2 String of beads used in counting prayers. especially

by Catholics (6) 3 Word that can precede: gang, letter, mail, saw, stitch and store (5)

4 Opening track on the Rolling Stones’ 1969 album Let It Bleed: Gimme ------(7) 6 Capital and largest city of Kampuchea (5,4) 7 Large venomous fish with large barbed spines near the base of a thin whip-like tail capable of inflicting severe wounds (8) 8 Highly seasoned minced meat stuffed in casings (8) 11 1965 film directed by Richard Lester starring the Beatles (4) 15 Place, especially one kept by the intelligence services or care agencies, unknown to one’s pursuers, where one can securely hide (4,5) 17 Australian slang for squat bottles of beer normally holding 375 cl (8) 18 Highly seasoned smoked beef, typically served in thin slices (8) 20 Country singer-song-

writer, actor and author, widely considered one of the most influential American musicians of the 20th century: Johnny ---- (4) 21 In fencing, a warning to assume a defensive position in readiness for an attack (2,5) 22 Migratory sandpiper with a down-curved bill that is the commonest small wader of the northern hemisphere (6) 23 American sitcom television series that ran from 1982 to 1993 and featured Ted Danson (Sam Malone), Shelley Long (Diane Chambers), Kelsey Grammer (Frasier Crane) and Woody Harrelson (Woody Boyd) (6) 26 US band formed in Los Angeles in 1969 whose UK hit singles include: Make It With You, Baby I’m A Want You, Everything I Own and The Guitar Man (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

WORD FAMILIES

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

boca

frutal

bocadillo

frutería

bocado

frutero

calentura

mar

caliente

marea

calor

marina

caluroso

marinero

fruta

marisco

music QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Mike Oldfield 2. Francis Scott-key 3. Addicted To Love 4. R Kelly 5. Love Song Or The Song Of Love 6. Babylon Zoo / Spaceman 7. Girlschool 8. Joe Walsh 9. Glass Tiger 10. Aaron 11. Paul McCartney, Elton John, Mick Jagger, Phil Collins, David Bowie

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Thesis, 5 Zeppelin, 9 Kilogram, 10 Osprey, 11 Fax machine, 12 Efts, 13 Red Cross, 16 Sticky, 17 Spirit, 19 Calamity, 21 Sale, 22 Stalactite, 25 Castro, 26 Satsumas, 27 Bearskin, 28 Supine. Down: 2 Haifa, 3 Storm, 4 Sirocco, 5 Zombies, 6 Prowess, 7 Euphemism, 8 Identikit, 14 Esplanade, 15 Carpenter, 18 Tussock, 19 Chanson, 20 Lean-tos, 23 Trump, 24 Twain.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.boca, 2.bocadillo, 3.bocado,

15.marinero, 16.marisco.

n.mouth, o.a bite,

4.calentura, 5.caliente, 6.calor, 7.caluroso, 8.fruta, 9.frutal,

a.fruit, b.fruit tree, c.fruit bowl,

10.frutería, 11.frutero, 12.mar,

d.fruit shop, e.heat, f.hot,

13.marea, 14.marina,

g.warm, h.a temperature, i.sea,

Soduko

j.sea food, k.sailor, l.tide, m.port,

Span - Eng

Quizword

p.a roll/sándwich.

Answers: 1n, 2p, 3o, 4h, 5f, 6e, 7g, 8a, 9b, 10d, 11c, 12i, 13l, 14m, 15k, 16j.

1. Who Has Released An Album In 2008 Called 'The Music Of Spheres'? 2. Who wrote the 'Star Spangled Banner'? 3. Which Robert Palmer Song Featured In The Movie Cocktail? 4. Who Saw Nothing Wrong In A Little 'Bump And Grind' In The 90's? 5. In 1977 Manhattan Tranfer Had A Uk Hit With The Song 'Chanson D'Amour'' But What Does It Mean When Translated Into Engli 6. Which 1996 Single Sold A Then Record 420,000 Copies In Its First Week Of Release? 7. Name the group that linked with Motorhead on the St Valentine's Day Massacre EP? 8. Who replaced 'Bernie Leadon' of 'The Eagles' in 1975? 9. Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone' Was A Hit For Which Canadian Rockers? 10. What Was Elvis Presleys Middle Name? 11. In 1998 'Q' Magazine Compiled A List Of The 100 Richest Rock Stars In Britain Name 3 Of The Top Five?

Fill It In

Wednesday 20th January 1961

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wanted Down Under 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC National and Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 For What It’s Worth 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC National and Regional News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Match of the Day Live: Liverpool Vs Exeter City Coverage of the FA Cup 3rd Round Replay (Kick-off 21:00), as the world’s oldest domestic cup competition continues. Tottenham Hotspur were stunned at this stage last season when Burnley took a 2-0 lead at White Hart Lane, but Spurs recovered to win 4-2 In another allPremier League tie, West Ham United defeated Everton on penalties, how will Liverpool and Exeter do? 23:00 BBC National and Regional News and Weather 23:45 A Question of Sport 00:15 Film - 2016 00:45 Film - Good (15) 02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:20 News

07:15 Rip Off Britain 08:00 Wanted Down Under 08:45 Escape to the Continent 09:15 Thief Trackers 09:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 12:30 The Daily Politics 14:00 Lifeline 14:10 Bowls: World Championships 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys

20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Actors Lesley Joseph and Christopher Biggins battle in a competition for antique glory around Essex and Buckinghamshire

20:30 The National Television Awards Hundreds of stars and thousands of fans join host Dermot O’Leary at the 21st National Television Awards for the biggest night in British TV. Broadcast from The O2 London, the NTAs celebrate television’s bestloved shows and stars in the only TV awards ceremony where all the winners are chosen by viewers via a huge nationwide poll It is TV’s biggest election where the TV talking points of the year compete for honours. Billy Connolly will receive the NTA Special Recognition Award from Dustin Hoffman

21:00 Trust Me, I’m a Doctor The doctors use cutting-edge technique to discover whether olive oil really is good for us 22:00 The Town that Took on the Taxman Small businesses in Crickhowell in the Brecon Beacons, South Wales take on a mission to copy the techniques used by multinational companies and set up a DIY tax avoidance scheme 23:00 Russell Howard’s Good News 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Immortal Egypt with Joann Fletcher 01:15 World Indoor Bowls Highlights 02:15 Tomorrow’s Food 03:15 World’s Weirdest Events 04:15 This is BBC Two

20:00 Coronation Street Will Tracy smash Nick’s dreams?

23:00 News 23:45 Cameraman to the Queen 00:45 Murder, She Wrote 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Kyle USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Undercover Boss USA 12:30 Four in a Bed 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper Mary visits City Hardware, a familyrun DIY store in London. The shop is stuck in the 1960s and Mary is in for a shock when she uncovers their attitude to customers. Can she persuade this male dominated world to embrace the 21st century?

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Do No Harm 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords A landlord comes crashing back to earth when he discovers that a couple are subletting 21:00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Nurse Sarah takes the stitches out of Elliot after he was stabbed in the head. Doctor Claire makes sure that Amanda’s wounds do not get infected after she donated a kidney to her sister

22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside 22:00 24 Hours in A and E CBB’s vaudeville themed Retired firefighter John, house who’s 52, is rushed to A&E 23:00 10,000 BC 00:00 by helicopter after being Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit accidently hit in the face by on the Side 01:00 Britain’s a golf club Flashiest Families 01:55 Super Casino 04:10 23:00 Bodyshockers 00:05 Celebrity Botched Up The Undateables 01:05 Bodies 05:00 Wildlife SOS C4’s Future Sounds: Music on 4 01:35 15 Kids and Counting 02:30 How to Lose Weight Well 03:25 08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Film - Prizzi’s Honor (15) Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy 05:30 The Fabulous Baker James, 18:00 Suzy G Brothers

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:05 Dinner Date 09:05 Emmerdale 10:05 You’ve Been Framed 10:35 Catchphrase 11:20 Dinner Date 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:45 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (12)

SOAPS In Coronation Street, Robert dashes to the Rovers to fetch Nick whilst Phelan tries to find Carla’s

07:00 Man About the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:25 The Darling Buds of May 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Sherlock Holmes 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Man About the House 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Bouquet of Barbed Wire 01:05 Sherlock Holmes pulse. As Carla is loaded into the ambulance, Tracy tries to mask her guilt. When Nick wonders what Carla was doing in the bistro, Robert quickly covers and Tracy shoots him

07:00 Duck Dynasty 07:45 Minder 08:45 The Professionals 09:50 Magnum, PI 10:50 Alias Smith and Jones 11:55 Duck Dynasty 12:55 Pawn Stars 13:50 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 15:55 Magnum, PI 17:00 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars Texas 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 Film - The Glimmer Man (18) 00:55 Ax Men a look of contempt, which is clocked by Todd. At the hospital Nick and the Connors are told that Carla needs an emergency operation. Will they op be a success? Meanwhile bent on revenge, Tracy sets off to the hospital to find Nick. As she approaches Carla’s bedside she overhears Nick promising Carla the most perfect wedding ever. Will Tracy smash his dreams or is another plan forming? Anna confides in Izzy that Phelan’s back and that Kevin must never find out what happened between them. Meanwhile Phelan

BODYSHOCKERS C4 23.00 Katie Piper meets an animal lover who has had her eyes tattooed black to look like a horse, and her tongue split to mimic a snake. The programme also features a former party girl who wants to ditch her double-F boob job, and a woman who wants to boost her breasts reveals to Kevin how he was once wealthy but after his wife caught him in flagrante, she took him to the cleaners and now he’s reduced to working as a labourer. When Phelan mentions that he and Anna have history, Kevin’s intrigued. Phelan calls on Anna and suggests they strike a deal. Will Anna be forced to hear him out? David and Kylie arrive home and are horrified to find Gail and Jason rolling back the carpet in the annexe. Gail explains she’s pricing up under floor heating. Pushing her out of the way, David quickly pulls the carpet back but can he hide what

by six cup sizes. Plus, a Birmingham woman buys her partner a sub-dermal implant, while one lady wants to lose her tummy tattoo, and another seeks to have an intimate inking removed. lies beneath? When Sally suggests they should petition the council about the mural, Tim jokingly suggests Sally should stand as a

John F Kennedy sworn in as US president The Democrat John F Kennedy has been sworn in as the youngest ever elected president of the United States. The 43-year-old Roman Catholic was inaugurated as the 35th president on a snow-covered Capitol Hill in Washington. He takes over from the oldest president in American history, General Dwight Eisenhower, who is bowing out aged 70. The president's Republican rival, Richard Nixon, who came a close second in the race for the White House, also attended the inauguration ceremony. Millions watched the swearing-in of the new president on television. President Kennedy began his speech by addressing "my fellow citizens" - the term first used by President George Washington but rejected by later presidents in favour of the less formal "my fellow Americans". His ten-minute address appealed to Americans to unite in the fight against the common enemy of man: tyranny, poverty, disease and war itself. For the people of the world struggling against the "bonds of misery", the president pledged, "our best efforts to help them help themselves". He continued: "If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." He also called for peace in the world. Councillor. But will Sally take it as the joke he intended? Worried about Carla, Roy decides to visit her in the morning and then return to Hastings to look after Sylvia.

Thursday 21st January

1950 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wanted Down Under 12:45 Close Calls: On Camera 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 For What It’s Worth 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Kat opens up to her sister 21:00 Dickensian Honoria and Hawdon desperately try to secure Edward Barbary’s freedom, while Bucket gets a major new lead and Arthur’s drinking nearly gets the better of him 21:30 Room 101 Joanna Scanlan, Noel Fielding and Ian Wright compete to have their pet hates consigned to Room 101 22:00 Death in Paradise DI Goodman finds himself embroiled in the highly strung world of modelling when a young star is strangled in the middle of a fashion show 23:00 News 23:45 Question Time 00:45 This Week 01:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:35 News

07:15 Rip Off Britain 08:00 Wanted Down Under 08:45 Escape to the Continent 09:15 Great British Menu 09:45 Thief Trackers 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Bowls: World Championships 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Rugby stars Phil Vickery and Martin Offiah take to the antiques trail around Bristol 21:00 World’s Sneakiest Animals Chris Packham meets the animals using devious tactics and sneaky tricks to survive 22:00 The Story of China Michael Wood tells the story of the world’s newest superpower, exploring the stories, people, culture and landscapes that have helped create its character over 4,000 years 23:00 The Clare Balding Show 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Barely Legal Grafters 01:15 World Indoor Bowls Highlights 02:15 Can You Stop My Multiple Sclerosis? 02:45 Britain’s Muslim Soldiers 03:25 Great Barrier Reef with David Attenborough 04:25 This is BBC Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Nikhil reveals his true feelings 20:30 Tonight More people are shopping online, using discounters like Aldi and Lidl, and ‘going local’ on a more regular basis. How are the supermarkets trying to coax the cash out of the consumers’ pockets 21:00 Emmerdale Robert is out of his depth 21:30 Birds of a Feather Sharon’s disapproval of Tracey dating policeman Barry and apparently overlooking Garth’s feelings for his dad leads to a major quarrel between the sisters 22:00 Jericho Just as Annie and her family are finally getting back on their feet, their world is rocked when Martha falls seriously ill with fever 23:00 News 23:40 The Late Debate 00:10 Trawlermen Tales 01:10 Murder, She Wrote 02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Undercover Boss USA 12:30 Four in a Bed 13:00 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location Kirstie is with Savannah and John, who are desperate to find their first home to buy in Maidstone, while Phil is with Matt and Tricia, who are looking for a home in the Kent countryside 22:00 The Restoration Man George Clarke meets Bruce Woodall, who 30 years ago started to restore a Georgian gazebo tower on top of Pembroke’s medieval city walls 23:00 Date My Mum 00:05 Rich Kids Go Shopping 01:05 24 Hours in A and E 02:05 The Jihadis Next Door 03:05 Embarrassing Bodies 04:00 Unreported World 04:25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:20 The Fabulous Baker Brothers

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film Virtual Lies 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild The adventurer journeys to a remote part of Leyte, one of the 7,000 tropical islands that make up the Philippines, to spend time with Neil Hoag, a 45-yearold former taxi driver from Florida 21:00 Britain’s Bloody Crown Historian Dan Jones examines one of the most infamous chapters of the Wars of the Roses, asking whether Richard III really did kill the Princes in the Tower in 1483 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside CBB’s house 23:00 10,000 BC 00:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 That’s So 1985 05:00 Wildlife SOS

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

DON´T MISS 07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:10 Ellen DeGeneres 07:55 Dinner Date 08:55 Coronation Street 09:25 You’ve Been Framed 10:30 Catchphrase 11:10 The NTA’s 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 19:50 The Hot Desk 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 Film - Knocked Up (15)

07:00 Man About the House 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Darling Buds of May 10:40 Judge Judy 11:55 Sherlock Holmes 13:05 Murder, She Wrote 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Man About the House 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Land of the Midnight Sun 23:00 Law and Order: UK

07:00 Duck Dynasty 07:45 Minder 08:45 The Professionals 09:45 Magnum, PI 10:45 Alias Smith and Jones 11:50 Duck Dynasty 12:50 Pawn Stars 13:50 Minder 14:50 The Professionals 15:55 Magnum, PI 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Classic Car Show 22:00 Film - Two Mules for Sister Sara (15) 00:20 Film - The Client (15)

TRAFFIC COPS

SOAPS

Robert tells her that Aaron spent the night with him. Robert finally tracks Aaron down, but is shocked when Aaron reveals a secret from his past. Just what has Aaron been hiding?

Nikhil. Nikhil admits to Rishi that he faked the relationship, but now wants to be with Leyla for real. Leyla is thrilled to discover that Jacob is staying but covers her hurt when he says that he’s got his old room back at Farrer’s.

Robert. She accepts Gordon’s offer to be a silent partner in the pub.

In Emmerdale, Chas is worried when Doug says that Aaron didn’t come home last night. Robert is also thrown when he sees Aaron’s empty bed at the hospital and the nurse tells him that he hasn’t been discharged.

Meanwhile, Kirin apologises to Adam for warning him away from Johnny and says that he should see him. Adam teaches Kirin how to feed Johnny, becoming heartbroken as he watches the pair together. Adam soon makes a heart-wrenching decision.

Later at the pub, Robert looks for Aaron and is forced to cover to Chas, who is furious when

Elsewhere, Leyla wonders if she made the right decision about not dating

In the second episode, Gordon comforts Chas over Aaron’s disappearance and she is horrified to think that he could have planned to run away with

BBC3 21.00 The work of North Yorkshire’s road crime team as they make drug seizures in transit, and investigate crashes caused by drivers who have taken narcotics..Traffic Cops shows what is involved in the day-to-day role of a traffic officer and the incidents they come across. The attraction of the show being the many strange

At the same time, Robert feels out of his depth as Aaron continues to confide in him. Robert urges Aaron to open up to his mum, but he refuses. Aaron is relieved when Robert agrees not to tell anyone, promising him that he’s not alone. Meanwhile, Laurel finds a novel way to deal with Ashley’s condition and suggests they rent Mulberry while Debbie is away. In Eastenders, Stacey seeks refuge with Kush

and amusing members of the public the Police encounter in the course of their work. It often touches on genuine drama and serious issues when officers visit accidents where people are seriously or fatally injured. and Shabnam as she continues to fear for Arthur’s safety, but they’re baffled by her behaviour. The situation only gets worse when Stacey insists that she needs to go to a church for protection and she believes that Martin was sent by the devil to hurt Arthur. Later, Martin tries to find Stacey, but Jean demands to know why he didn’t seek help sooner. When Martin receives a call from Kush about Stacey’s whereabouts, he hopes to convince her to seek help. Martin encourages Stacey to look him in the eye, which brings about a lucid moment for Stacey. When

Acclaimed author George Orwell dies The writer, George Orwell, has died after a three-year battle against tuberculosis. Until the last, news had been positive and it was hoped Mr Orwell was improving. On Friday morning he had a long talk with a friend about his plans for the future. However, a few hours later he suffered a fatal haemorrhage in a London hospital. But illness had not dimmed George Orwell's enthusiasm for writing. His last novel, 1984, published last summer was written in between periods spent in hospital. The controversial book like Animal Farm - was widely viewed as an attack on the Communist system. However, it brought George Orwell widespread critical acclaim including the award of £357 by the influential Partisan Review for the year's most significant contribution to literature. George Orwell was born Eric Arthur Blair in June 1903 into a family of relatively prosperous civil servants working in India on behalf of the British Empire. He is said to have assumed his pseudonym, inspired by the River Orwell, near his parent's house in Suffolk, to spare his family embarrassment. Orwell's early writings often drew on his own experiences of poverty which were in marked contrast to his privileged background. Stacey asks if she is ill, Martin convinces her that the hospital is the only place she can go with Arthur that is safe. As Stacey packs for the hospital, Jean fears that Arthur might not be able to stay with Stacey, but they decide to keep this from her for the time being. Martin takes both Stacey and Arthur to hospital, but will he convince Stacey to go ahead with this?

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Friday 15th January 2016

Does Pasta Make You Fat?

Dessert

Barley porridge With Berries & Yogurt

Ingredients

Serves: 2: Oatmeal 35g, medium, spelt flakes 35g, barley flakes 30g, milk 200ml, water 200ml For the berries: Blackberries or blueberries, 300g, fresh or frozen, maple syrup 150ml To finish: Jumbo oats or barley flakes 2 tbsp, yogurt 4 tbsp. Directions Sprinkle the oatmeal, spelt and barley flakes over a dry, shallow pan and toast for 5-7 minutes, until they smell warm and nutty. Pour the milk and water into a pan and bring to the boil. Lower the heat, scatter the toasted cereals over the warm milk, then simmer, stirring continuously for 7-10 mins. As the grains soften, beat firmly. The porridge should be thick and creamy. Tip the berries into a small pan and add the honey. Bring to the boil, then lower the heat and leave for a couple of minutes until the berries start to burst and their juice colours the honey. To finish, toast the oat or barley flakes., add a spoon or two of yogurt then the honey from the fruit and finally the toasted oats or barley.

As the carb-avoidance craze rages, many are dismayed to see pasta lumped with pappy white bread in the “white and refined” sin bin. Now, a concerted push is on to rehabilitate its nutritional reputation. Is it true that, as pasta company Barilla claims, its unique resistant starch structure makes it more slowly digested than the same amount of flour made into bread? As long as you eat it “al dente”, white pasta does indeed have a glycaemic index comparable with buckwheat or brown rice – so the argument that it gives a steady release of energy that keeps you feeling fuller longer, is plausible. It’s also a whole lot more appetising than a plateful of wholewheat spaghetti. Dates are the new sugar

Thanks to the promotional efforts of “clean-eating” gurus, we can’t move these days without bumping into delicacies sweetened with dates. Are these sticky fruits any better than bad old sugar? If you’re talking about baking, the answer is yes. Weight for weight, dried dates contain about 68% total sugars, as opposed to actual sugar, which is 100%. Dates are also an excellent source of soluble fibre, and have a relatively low glycaemic index: the fibre stops the sugar from causing an insulin spike in your bloodstream. Unlike straight sugar, dates are packed with useful micronutrients: iron, potassium, B vitamins and more. Dried dates do contain much more sugar than the sweetest fruits, but if you’re eating them as a sub-

stitute for cakes and confectionery rather than fruit, they’re a good way to lower your sugar consumption and gradually un-sweeten your palate. Kale is a superveg Current king of the brassicas, kale offers a convincing portfolio of antioxidant, antiinflammatory and detoxifying micronutrients that appear to reduce our risk of major degenerative diseases, cancer in particular. Is kale nutritionally richer than cabbage or broccoli, or is it just popular because it makes great crisps? Well, kale’s stand-out quality is its impressively high levels of vitamin K, which supports bone health, so it’s great if you’re trying to avoid bone loss and fractures. Plus it’s dead cheap, and grows abundantly pretty much anywhere. Coconut oil is best for frying Raw, unrefined coconut oil doesn’t get damaged by oxidisation and go rancid the way other cold-pressed vegetable cooking oils do. It is a naturally resilient oil that stands up to the heat of frying without degrading nutritionally. It is also exceptionally rich in medium-chain fatty acids, which have antiviral, antifungal, and antibacterial effects.

Food & Drink

Wishlist For Really Useful Kitchen Gadgets I want a prawn peeler. I saw one once, a brilliant industrial-scale machine which sorted tiny Morecambe bay shrimps, then put them on a miniature ferris wheel so a perfectly calibrated suction device could pull the shells clear. I want a domestic version of one of those, so I don’t ever have to swear again when I rip a shrimp or prawn in half because my fingers are too fat and clunky or I don’t know my own strength. Perhaps you think I’m over-complicating the kitchen. Well, how about this one, then. I want a safe mandoline. That’s all. A properly safe mandoline. Not one that only slices your hand open once for the 10 times a standard mandoline mutilates you. I want a mandoline that never, ever slices your hand open, however staggeringly stupid you happen to be, because it turns out that life in the 21st century is seriously complicated with lots of distractions. And while we’re

at it, can I have a tin opener that sucks out the oil or brine around tuna, so it doesn’t go all over my hands or the work surface every time I open one? No, I have no idea how this will work. It will probably involve tubing and a pump. All the good things do. You work out the details. I’m blueskying the future here. But the main thing I want is a self-cleaning hob. A self-cleaning oven is all well and good: turn it up to max and run away while the gunk incinerates. But a self-cleaning hob, especially after I’ve done sausages, or a casserole, or a sausage casserole, would be a serious piece of work. I don’t care if it comes courtesy of a lid with brushes and water jets that you simply close down, or one of those slightly needy-looking robots they were always demonstrating on Tomorrow’s World. Just get it done. The future is here. It’s now. And I’m fed up with cleaning the hob.

Pea, Rocket And Mushroom Toasts

The recipe Put a pan of water on to boil, then add 200g of frozen peas and let them cook for 3 or 4 minutes. Drain the peas and tip them into the bowl of a food processor then add 50g of rocket leaves, the juice of half a lemon and the leaves from 10g of tarragon. Blend in 80ml of olive oil to give a smooth, bright green purée, then set aside. Wipe three large portobello mushrooms and slice them into pieces about 2cm thick. Trim 150g of small mushrooms, such as shimeji, leaving the mushrooms whole. In a large shallow pan, warm 4 tbsp of olive oil and 40g of but-

ter over a moderate heat. As it starts to sizzle, add a small clove of garlic, crushed flat, then the mushrooms. Let the mushrooms soften. Season with salt and black pepper. Toast 2 thick slices of sourdough bread or ciabatta then spread generously with some of the pea purée. Divide the hot mushrooms between the toasts and serve. The trick I suggest using two distinct types of mushroom here – the firm, cheap varieties, such as chestnut and portobello, and then something more tender, such as shimeji or enoki. The former need frying to a deep nutty brown before you add

the more fragile varieties. These latter, fine varieties are fragile and should be stirred in only when the firm mushrooms are almost cooked, to preserve their delicate texture. The twist You could introduce some tofu, pancetta or bacon to the sautéed mushrooms. Bacon and pancetta could be cut into finger-thick strips and fried until golden before adding mushrooms. Tofu needs adding at the same time, as it only has to warm through and the more tender types will resent being stirred too much. You could also use frozen broad beans, popped from their skins, instead of the peas.

Food & Drink

Friday 15th January 2016

Treacle Pancake And Chocolate Cookie’s ‘Cook what you want, eat what you want, enjoy yourself.’

Every adventure in cooking should be as exuberantly carefree, as joyful and as fun as a One Direction chorus. Cook what you want, eat what you want, enjoy yourself.

Treacle Pancakes It’s not for me to tell you what you can or should eat, and maybe pancakes and ice-cream for breakfast isn’t something you want, or are ready for, or can be seen to indulge in. That’s OK. Makes 16: 40g butter, 175g plain flour, 3 tbsp soft dark brown sugar, 3 tsp baking powder, 2 tsp ground ginger, ½ tsp ground cinnamon, ¼ tsp ground nutmeg, 3 large eggs, 2 tbsp black treacle ,Zest ½ orange, 175ml milk, 5 tbsp glace ginger (or chopped stem ginger), 500ml vanilla ice-cream, to serve 1 Melt the butter in the pan that you’re going to fry the pancakes in, then decant into a small, clean bowl to cool slightly. Leave the butter residue in the pan. 2 Combine the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg in a large mixing

bowl. Add the eggs, then beat until smooth and sticky before stirring in the black treacle and orange zest. Slowly whisk in the milk, until the batter is just thick enough to hold in neat pancake shapes when poured into the pan. Add the melted butter. 3 Heat the greased pan over a low heat, then cook the pancakes in batches, adding just enough batter to give an 8-10cm diameter pancake each time. As soon as you’ve spooned the pancake mix into the pan, sprinkle 1 tsp of glace ginger on top of each. After 1-2 minutes, when the underside is lightly browned and the top is just beginning to set, flip the pancakes and cook for a further 1-2 minutes to finish. 4 Serve with plenty of maple syrup, a sprinkling of orange zest and – most importantly – a couple of scoops of vanilla ice-cream.

Triple-chocolate cookies In case you’re not familiar with your classic mid-1990s teen movies, here are the two take-home lessons from Clueless: being an allround do-gooder needn’t

come at the expense of being perfectly cute and impeccably styled; and when your crushes come over, you should always have something baking. Here’s a foolproof cookie recipe that even the most clueless bakers can embrace, for when you need to prove your domestic prowess, even if that just means making a batch for yourself and eating them while you mastermind your

next great outfit. Makes 10-12: 125g salted butter, well softened, 150g soft light brown sugar, 1 large egg, 175g plain flour, 30g cocoa powder, ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda, 50g milk chocolate, in chunks, 50g dark chocolate, in chunks, 50g white chocolate, in chunks 1 Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. Line a couple of large baking trays with baking parch-

ment. 2 Beat the butter and sugar together in a large bowl until smooth, then add the egg, flour, cocoa powder, bicarbonate of soda and all the chocolate chunks – the milk chocolate, dark and white chocolate. Combine thoroughly, until you’ve got a thick, sticky dough, but don’t over-mix. 3 Spoon mounds of the cookie dough on to the pre-

pared trays, leaving plenty of space between them (if you crowd the cookies, they’ll fuse in the oven and you’ll be left with a single mega-cookie). Bake for 12-14 minutes until the cookies are golden brown and well-spread, and the chocolate chunks molten and gooey. They’ll be really soft at this point, leave them at room temperature until firm (roughly 30mins).

Potato Gnocchi Recipe

Potato Gnocchi is extremely traditional food. The fried antipasti and bruschetta; the thick minestre and classic Roman pastas; the rosemary-scented meat and offal dishes that were born in this the slaughterhouse district; the vegetables Rome is so rightly proud of, tangles of bitter chicory, crisp puntarelle, braised artichokes, courgettes like fluted coins cooked until unfashionably soft. It is now my tradition, too. If we feel like going out for gnocchi, we walk across the piazza to Piatto Romano, a spare but comfortable place that serves up, good, tasty food with no fuss. We go often, know what to order, and the familiarity and comfort makes us blind to imperfections. On a Thursday at this time of year we are set in

our ways: two artichokes, one fried, one braised, then two plates of gnocchi with whatever is offered: tomato sauce, pork-rib ragu, the sauce from the oxtail stew, and if they are on the menu, clams. Gnocchi, meaning “little knots”, are small dumplings and can be made of breadcrumbs, ricotta, vegetables, rice flour, chestnuts, semolina, or in this case for Thursday’s gnocchi, potato. For every 300g of potato, you want up to 150g of plain flour, which you add gradually, kneading and squeezing until you have a soft, consistent dough that feels lovely to handle. Practice is the best advice I have been given. Some, most notably for me the brilliant Oretta Zanini de Vita, suggest adding an egg, two even, which produces

more robust gnocchi, which is reassuring for someone like me who has watched a few disintegrate in the pan. Eggless gnocchi, though, are undoubtedly more tender: small potato pillows that bounce slightly in your mouth. I added an egg for years, until I finally plucked up the courage to go without. Eggless gnocchi need a steady, not-rollicking, boil, and to be scooped out of the pan the moment they bob to the surface. As for cooking the potatoes, some people bake them. I find boiling them whole then drying in a hot pan before peeling works a treat. If you turn out to be a gnocchi fan, you may want to invest in a potato ricer. What to use as sauce? A simple tomato one maybe, perhaps bolstered with some pancetta and pecorino for an

amatriciana of sorts. Butter and sage is a simple but luxurious alternative: melt 50g of butter and then let some sage leaves sizzle in it. Anna del Conte’s gorgonzola melted in cream with sage and lots of black pepper is a treat, as are clams as you would serve them with spaghetti alle vongole, meaning coaxed open in a hot pan with a little extra virgin olive oil and some chopped parsley. All gnocchi options are excellent on any day of the week, but especially on a Thursday. Gnocchi di patate (potato gnocchi) In Rome, the pasta course is called the primo and is modest, because something else is coming after, so this amount serves 4. We often have this alone, in which case it serves two adults and a child generously. If you double up, cook in two, even three batches. Serves 4 as a starter. 600g floury potatoes (eg russet), salt, 300g plain flour (you probably won’t need all of this) . 1- 2 eggs (optional) 1 Scrub but don’t peel the potatoes, boil them whole in salted water until tender. Drain, then put the empty pan back on a low heat until it is dry, add the potatoes and let them dry for a moment, too. Once the potatoes are cool

enough to handle, peel them, then pass them through a potato ricer into a bowl, or mash them with a fork. You can also do this with the grating attachment of a food processor. If you are going to add an egg, do it now and mix well. 2 Turn the mixture out on to a floured work surface, add flour to the potato and work it in. Continue adding flour and kneading until you have a consistent dough that no longer sticks to your hands. The amount of flour will vary; the most important thing is the feel of the dough. 3 Dust the work surface with flour, pull off an egg-size lump, roll it into a 2cm-thick rope, then cut the rope into 1cm pieces. At this point, if you want you can make the distinctive grooves with a gnocchi board or by pressing the gnocchi gently on a cheese grater or the back of a fork. Lay the gnocchi on a clean tea towel. 4 Bring a large pan of water to the boil, add salt, stir, then gather up the tea towel so as to gently drop all the gnocchi in at once. Scoop them out with a slotted spoon. Have a warm serving plate and the sauce ready, so when the gnocchi are cooked, you put them straight on the plate, top with the sauce and serve.

Friday 15th January 2016

Are Croatia’s Renowned Mali Ston Oysters Overrated – Or Truly Some Of The World’s Best?

I suppose an oyster farmer would believe in the aphrodisiacal qualities often attributed to the molluscs. But I wasn’t slurping them down for any reason other than that these oysters, pulled from Mali Ston Bay on Croatia’s Dalmatian Coast seconds earlier, were some of the most delectable I’d ever eaten. I came to the southern Dalmatian Coast specifically to try these underwater wonders at their source. Croatian friends had long extolled their palatable pleasures. And given that the food-frenzied world seems to have a particular love affair with oysters recently – the molluscs’

appearance on US restaurant menus, for example, has increased by 15% since 2010 – I was flummoxed that these Dalmatian varieties were not getting more attention. I wondered if they were overrated, or if national pride was eclipsing the taste buds of my local friends. To find out, I met up with Šare (pronounced Shar-ay), whose family offers tours of their oyster farm for 15 to 30 euros (depending on the length of time) and owns a popular restaurant called Bota Šare in the town of Mali Ston. The Šare family has been cultivating the bivalves for generations and is one of about 40 families that have special permission to farm

oysters in the bay; the number has shrunk recently (from about 50) because of the invasive dorada fish, which has a strong

enough jaw to break the oyster shell and eat the meat inside, thus diminishing the amount of oysters the bay produces. Mali Ston was once the northwestern border of Ragusa, an independent republic that buttressed two larger forces around the Adriatic Sea: the Ottoman and Venetian empires. Ragusa eventually became Dubrovnik and the larger area became Yugoslavia and then Croatia. While salt was the main form of wealth here many centuries ago, it was the oysters that gave it such renown. Roman emperors funded farms off the coast but weren’t the only royals to develop a fondness for them. Almost two millennia later, Austrian emperor Franz Josef would have cases of oysters shipped to

Vienna each month. And, in the late Middle Ages, nobles from Dubrovnik (né Ragusa) would front the money to start oyster farms in Mali Ston Bay, taking their payment in oysters instead of cash. The reason why these oysters – known as Ostrea edulis, or European flat oysters – are so good has to do with the unique and distinctive nutrient blend that naturally occurs in Mali Ston Bay. While the bay is already loaded with salt, the nearby Neretva River discharges fresh, mineral-heavy water from the karst springs that flow into it. Add in a sea floor that is packed with phytoplankton, and you have a natural recipe for some of the planet’s best raw oysters. “For this reason,” Šare said, “The oysters five kilometres away will taste differently than they do here. It all depends on the mix of all these things.” A few days later I was out on the bay again, this time with Denis Dražeta, an oyster farmer who can be booked via the Calvados Club. I met up with Dražeta in the village of Hodije, and one short boat ride later, we were standing on a wood plank in the middle of the bay. I opted to take the advice of Dražeta and eschew anything like lemon or horseradish that would alter the oysters’ flavour. It was, like any good oyster, not just a taste of the sea, but a complex stratum of flavours: briny and brassy, with delicate buoyancy on the palate. Something gets sparked inside us when we eat oysters. It’s as if we’re consuming a potion – one that takes three years to ripen but just a second to make you feel alive.

Food & Drink

Cutting Down On Alcohol Units? Choose Riesling

Dainty light whites, apple blossom-scented with a bright citrus tang, sound like ones to sip on a sunny day in June, but they also suit this moment of the year very well. Right now, many of us want wines that are crisp and vibrantly fruity (to reawaken tired taste buds), light (to go with healthy January food) and lower in alcohol. So, step forward German riesling. Fine rieslings, especially from the pretty Mosel region, are naturally lower in alcohol, due in part to the cool climate there. Right now, many of us want wines that are crisp and vibrantly fruity (to reawaken tired taste buds), light (to go with healthy January food) and lower in alcohol (to fall in line with a moderate post-Christmas sensibility, and as a nod to the government's recently lowered recommended drinking limits). Wine (ABV 13%) 125ml glass = 1.6 units 175ml glass = 2.3 units 250ml glass = 3.3 units Bottle = 10 units Beer Regular pint (4%) = 2.3 units Strong pint (5.2%) = 3 units Extra strong (8%) = 4.5 units

Spirits (ABV 40%) 25ml single shot = 1 unit 50ml double shot = 2 units Alcopops (ABV 5.5%) 275ml bottle = 1.5 units Think 7% to 10% – a lot less than the average bottle of New World chardonnay or sauv blanc (13 to 13.5%). Admittedly, they are usually off-dry, but a dab of honey can be appealing in a light white, especially if it is partnered with the right food: sweet and sour dishes, cold pork or chicken with a fruity sauce, salads. The riesling grape counters that sprinkle of sugar with a fresh streak of acidity, like a squeeze of lemon or a bite into a tart green apple, so the effect is still mouthwatering. These wines bear little resemblance to weakly flavoured, old-fashioned Liebfraumilch; it pays to think of fine German riesling as a different class of drink altogether. They are also underpriced, in my view; even the top bottles are nowhere near the price of other renowned classic European wines. All of which makes it the best kind of white for cheering up the dark evenings of January.

Food & Drink

Friday 15th January 2016

DVD’S The Walk

The Costa Blanca´s Biggest and Best Live Local radio station - TKO fm - are currently looking for RADIO PRESENTERS to enhance their current rosta. If you think that you have a voice that people will listen to – and have what it takes to Plan - Produce and Present a structured, informative and entertaining 2 or 3 hour live show within pre set musical guidelines - to a discerning target audience – then get in touch. You may have had previous experience – or maybe you are just thinking that it is something you would like to do. Either way – in the first instance send a 2 minute mp3 file showing off your voice and presenting talents and style to tkomedia2015@gmail.com with a brief covering note explaining why you think you should be On Air ! Remember, experience is not required if you are the right person for the job and all applications will be treated in the strictest of confidence – but those without the required mp3 file will not be considered, so get recording. Your radio future is waiting.

BOX OFFICE

TOP 10 Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) Daddy's Home (2015) The Revenant (2015) Daddy's Home (2015) The Forest (2016) Sisters (2015) The Hateful Eight The Big Short (2015) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015): Joy (2015) Concussion (2015)

Ice Age: Collision Course (2016) DIRECTOR Mike Thurmeier, Galen T. Chu GENRE Animation, Children SYNOPSIS Sid and the rest of the herd travel to exotic new lands after Scrat accidentally sets off a series of cosmic events from outer space. RELEASE DATE Jul 22, 2016 DURATION 100 min RATING U A Scrat journeys where no Ice Age character has gone before in Ice Age: Collision Course. Scrat's epic pursuit of the elusive acorn catapults him into the universe where he accidentally sets off a series of cos-

mic events that transform and threaten the Ice Age World. To save themselves, Sid, Manny, Diego, and the rest of the herd must leave their home and embark on a quest full of comedy and adventure, traveling to exotic new lands and encountering a host of colorful new characters. Ice Age: Collision Course, opening in theaters everywhere July 22, 2016. Returning cast members include Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo,Queen Latifah, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck, Simon Pegg, Keke Palmer, Wanda Sykes and Jennifer Lopez. Joining the herd are Stephanie Beatriz,

Adam DeVine, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Max Greenfield, Jessie J, Nick Offerman, Melissa Rauch, Michael Strahan and Neil deGrasse Tyson. With the arrival of the trailer, we've also dug the original short film out of the vault so you can see the whole thing! If this trailer isn't enough for you, we have a poster featuring Scrat and his ol' illusive acorn as they stand proudly in space. This epic onesheet promises 'one small step' which obviously leads to 'one giant mess'. Scrat's adventures have certainly caused a lot of problems in the past. But this latest blunder could wipe out a whole family favorite fran-

chise! We still have 9 months to wait for Ice Age: Collision Course, which is sure to be one of summer 2016's biggest hits. The original Ice Age opened in 2002, earning $176.3 million at the domestic box office before going on to earn $383 million worldwide. It was followed by three more sequels, which have taken in more than $700 million. The film will have some strong competition when it opens this July. Arriving on the same day is Star Trek Beyond and Knights of the Round Table, which will both pull in large family audiences. But Scrat isn't afraid of Kirk, Spock and King Arthur.

The Santantonada in Forcall, an ancestral festival of fire

Between January 15 and 17, the town of Forcall, in the region of Els Ports, celebrates the Santonada, a Medieval fire festival. These ancestral festivities oscillate between sains and devils, tradition and fin, yearnings and aspirations… The Santantonada is the fire festival par excellence in Els Ports, and it is held when the cold freezes over the fields and darkness covers the land. It is the Medieval festivity of purifying fire in which Saint Anthony and Saint Paul participate, as well as other characters, such as el despullat and the botargues (demons), cremallers (in charge of lighting the bonfire) and filoseta (one of the temptations of Saint Anthony). Early in the morning of 15th

January the Despertà announces that begins Santantonada. From this moment, the different events take place: the maio or backbone of the stall is planted, the costelles (ribs) are nailed, it is dressed in branches and the capolleta (top), covered in firecrackers, is put in place. The stall is finally ready. After the arduous task of setting it up, at night, the Santantonada committee goes through the streets of Forcall. At eleven at night, the committee reaches the square and proceeds to light and burn down the stall, a task carried out by the cremaller of honour, with the intervention of cremallers and participation by the despullat, filoseta and the botargues, demons in charge of dragging the

saints to the fire. The botargues run and dance around the bonfire with Saint Anthony inside when, suddenly, to the sound of oboes, the demons are defeated by the power of good and Saint Anthony emerges, triumphant. A veritable explosion of saints, demons and fire in which people can participate, going through the stall as it burns. Next, the processó dels matxos takes place, a parade that goes through the streets of the town, passing by a church, where the animals are blessed and a coqueta de mitja lliura, a delicious pastry typical of Forcall, is collected. Finally, to end the day, the people collect around the embers of the stall for a late night snack. On the follow-

ing day, there is a solemn mass dedicated to the Saint, followed by a procession. On Saturday, dedicated to the Saint, pipers and drummers starts to play at 8:00 am. Afterwards, there is a Mass and a procession in honour of Saint Anthony the Abbot and typical pastries are distributed. In the afternoon it is time for sowing and enjoying the theatre play on the Life of the Saint. On Sunday morning there is a traditional meal with roasted chops accompanied by wine, aioli, olives and bread. At noon there is another popular meal in Plaza Mayor. In the afternoon it is time for the traditional games such as races, pot breaking games or botets. www.forcall.es

In 1974, Philippe Petit was at the height of his career as a tightrope walker. He decided that he needed to do something truly impressive to cement his legacy. The method that he chose was walking between the Twin Towers in New York City on a tightrope. Even before the actual event, there were many hurdles to cross, but the actual feat was the stuff of legend. Could this French tightrope walker accomplish this amazing task as the world watched?

Infinitely Polar Bear It's 1978 and Cam Stuart, a manic-depressive, has a breakdown that causes his wife to take their two daught e r s a n d leave him, moving to a small apartment in Boston. Cam is eventually released, and on a new medication, he works to prove that he can be a good husband and father His wife, Maggie, ends up studying for an MBA in another city and she asks Cam to move in and care for the girls during the week. Cam takes on the task of being a stay at home father of two feisty daughters while trying to overcome his mental illness.

The Martian The Martian is astronaut Mark Watney. During a manned mission to the red planet, a fierce storm leaves Watney presumed dead and therefore left behind by his crew. Now stranded, Watney must survive the hostile environment of Mars with few supplies while trying to find a way to signal Earth that he is still alive and in need of rescue.

Friday 15th January 2016

A New Year For Hello everybody from TKO Teddy and I hope I’m finding you well as you browse through the latest edition of The Courier, which I enjoyed reading for myself earlier on! As you probably know, I love going to the Vicente Garcia Stadium and cheering on CD Torrevieja at all of their home matches, and I’ve discovered for myself that the louder I shout, the better the team plays!

Haven’t the players done really well in recent weeks and you should pop on down there because they really are worth watching. And of course you do get the bonus of meeting me and having your picture taken with me! Look out for yours truly as I’m the fan with the big head and ears and a lot of fur, which is going to come in really useful as those temperatures start to drop! Here’s the lat-

est crop of photos from last Sunday’s match, with a whole load more on Facebook. Don’t forget that if you are a local business or charity or organising a special event and you want me to pay you a visit this year, then contact me via Facebook and my special page, TKO Teddy. My phone number is 664 315 470 or via e-mail tkoteddy@tko.media

90.8fm & 91.9fm Listen Live Tko.fm

Friday 15th January 2016

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Derek received an email from IncrediMail that ADVICE: Lorraine received an email purporting to be from Microsoft and it concerned her. he was suspicious of

. Hi Richard, please forgive me if this is a daft question but is the below instruction for real? I have done nothing with it yet. Regards Derek.

The recent Windows update may cause the IncrediMail application to crash when opened, and interfere with some IncrediMail components. Until we find a proper solution, please follow these steps: 1. Open IncrediMail & wait for the Windows crash dialog. 2. Click OK & wait for IncrediMail to close 3. Click the IncrediMail tray icon near the Windows clock to open the IncrediMail application. We're sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience. The IncrediMail Support Team

Hi Richard, is it normal for Microsoft to send me notification of temporary blocking to prevent hacking? Haven't replied as they ask me to reply with personal details to unblock! But here I am emailing you, so they haven't as yet blocked it, just wanted to run it past you, what do you think, is it possibly kosher? Kind regards Lorraine Account temporarily blocked (lorraine@hotmail.com),

To help protect your account from fraud or abuse, we have temporarily blocked it because we noticed some unusual activity. We know having your account blocked is frustrating, but we can help you get it back easily in a few steps. To unblock your account click here https://account.live.com/unblockID=lorraine@hotmail.com and sign in to your blocked account.

Hi Derek, there are no daft questions, it’s good to be cautious  I’ve done some digging for you and yes it does seem to be legitimate as Incredimail also have the same warning on their facebook page…

https://www.facebook.com/IncrediMail/

We take your account security seriously and need these details to help us prevent hackers from accessing your account. As far as blocked Hotmail accounts are concerned, meanwhile, only responsible use of your Outlook account canprevent it from being disabled. Microsofts policy of restoring accounts that have been blocked seems to depend on the provision of accurate data so that the operatives can make a decision about your account. Information can be misinterpreted and security questions and answers can be forgotten, so it is best to avoid any problems here by using your account responsibly.

Hi Lorraine, it’s a scam, if you hover your mouse (but don’t click) over the link that they are trying to make you click you will see that the address (called a URL) isn’t from live.com.

Update: Hi Richard, many many thanks, glad I checked with you. I'll just keep deleting them.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Health

Friday 15th January 2016

The Financial And Human Cost Of Becoming A Junior Doctor

Junior doctors are referred to as the workhorses of the NHS; how is removing the vital legal safeguards that prevent overworking them and thereby protect patients from errors going to affect

patient care? I am deeply disturbed by the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s governmentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sustained attack on my profession; a profession that, certainly at junior level across the board and in several specialities, is already suf-

fering serious shortages. There has also been an exodus of highly skilled doctors to other countries and even permanently out of medicine. How does the government believe that attacking an already

drained workforce that already provides 24-hour care 365 days a year is going to help? I do not want or need extravagant sums of money, but like everybody else I need to eat, pay for

childcare and, as a junior doctor, pay for my own postgraduate training and development in order to ensure the care I provide is of the standard patients rightly expect. Surely it is not unreasonable to expect

a salary that reflects our responsibilities and high standard of training A fairly remunerated, rested and valued workforce is vital for the NHS to continue providing excellent care.

'Detox Enzyme' Which Stops Sugar Being Stored As Fat Identified This discovery may mean that guilt-free sugary snacks could become a reality Relish the idea of sucking down a fizzy drink or biting into a doughnut with no consequences? Imagine never having to start a diet in January again. This could be the future after scientists at the University of Montreal

Hospital Research Centre identified the G3PP enzyme - which could offer fresh hope for obesity treatment. This enzyme can 'zap' excess sugar from the body, stopping it from being stored as fat. The 'detox' enzyme also stops the body's cells being

poisoned by chemicals produced when the body's cells are overloaded with sugar. Dr Marc Prentki, one of the researchers leading the study, said: "We found that G3PP is able to breakdown a great proportion of this excess glycerol phosphate to glycerol and divert it outside the cell, thus protecting the insulin producing beta cells of pancreas and various organs from toxic effects of high glucose levels." This discovery, as well as treating obesity, could stop people from developing conditions such as type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Insulin is an important hormone for controlling glucose and fat utilisation but when beta cells are presented with excess glucose and fatty acids, the same nutrients become toxic and damage them, leading to their dysfunction and diabetes. When glucose is being used in cells, glycerol-3phosphate is formed, and this molecule is central to metabolism, since it is needed for both energy production and fat formation. Senior Scientist Dr Murthy Madiraju said: "By diverting glucose as glycerol, G3PP prevents excessive formation and storage of fat and it also lowers excessive production of glucose in liver, a major problem in diabetes. "We identified the enzyme while looking for

mechanisms enabling beta cells to get rid of excess glucose as glycerol. "This mechanism has also been found to be operating in liver cells, and this enzyme is present in all body tissues". The findings published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences offers a new therapeutic target for obesity, type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome. The researchers are currently in the process of discovering "small molecule activators of G3PP" to treat cardiometabolic disorders. These drugs will be unique in their mode of action and first of their kind in this class of drugs. Further lab tests are needed before clinical trials with new drugs can take place.

Health Dr M. Mannu

Friday 15th January 2016

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etables but easily destroyed when veggies are slightly cooked or even vigorously washed. To receive enough MSM in our diet today, we need to eat several kilos of fresh foods, an impossible feat even for vegetarians. The best way to ensure youÂ´re getting enough MSM is to take supplements. MSM powder is preferable to MSM capsules or tablets for providing the body with sufficient amounts. Those with

If you suffer joint and bone pain and aches, you are most likely suffering from MSM (methylsulfonylmethane) deficiency. MSM is the most important nutri-

ent for maintaining and building the supporting framework of the body bones, joints, skin, hair and nails. MSM occurs naturally in the body and is required

to produce collagen. Collagen is a protein whose function is mainly to provide support for the organs of the body. The bones, joints, skin, hair and nails require collagen to maintain their growth, strength and health. Many people suffering from joint problems will also suffer from hair loss, dry skin and brittle nails. However within weeks of taking MSM supplements many of these problems disappear. Many people are of the opinion that calcium is required to maintain the

structure and strength of the bones, joints and other connective tissue, the reality, however, is that the bones are rarely deficient in calcium, but very frequently deficient in MSM. Many foods other than milk contain calcium including nuts, beans and vegetables. Current clinical studies point to a deficiency of MSM as the main reason for joint problems. MSM is required to maintain collagen that makes up about 30% of the mass of bones. MSM is available in many fresh fruits and veg-

severe joint problems may require up to 5 grams of MSM daily for several months to rebuild their joints. MSM is a powerful painkiller, anti-inflammatory agent and most importantly an essential nutrient for maintaining the bones, joints, skin and other supporting structures of the body. To order Pure MSM powder (Half a kilo of powder for â&#x201A;Ź35) Call MedB clinic on 965071745. For a Full Body Diagnostic Scan Call MedB Clinic: 965071745.

Motoring

Friday 15th January 2016

McLaren's New 570S: Saving The Best Until Last?

McLaren went about the business of selling its first road cars as you might expect a Grand Prix team would; making them aerodynamically optimal at the expense of good looks and giving them drab, turn-off names derived from complex internal processes used to calibrate a vehicle’s performance. Then finally, because those processes said the

cars were the best (fastest), believing they must be the best. There is after all only one objective measure in racing; your car is the fastest or it isn’t. So in 2011 we had the MP4-12C, which became the 12C that became the 650s, which has become the 675LT in no time at all. More racing practice; it’s entirely appropriate to evolve a racing car as

fast as you can. Doing the same with a road car however can only confuse, alienate and roundly irk early adopters, which in the case of the original MP4-12C would surely have been the most hard-core of McLaren fan-boys. And then there was the P1. A towering achievement, a truly astonishing motor car until you compare it with its

forebear, the McLaren F1. Created by an entirely different McLaren affiliate over 20 years ago, the F1 remains altogether more compelling. Regardless, McLaren will show you how the P1 has more downforce and more performance than an F1. So although bigger, less efficient and less smart it must be better. Although I’m not even sure McLaren believes that

one. So the team/car company share a cold heart you might believe, one that ruthlessly searches for ways to make their cars “optimal” (F1 teams love that word), choosing not to also engage buyers’ left brain, and also oddly blind to the fact that this is exactly what Ferrari has done for some time now, to great success. It’s on-brand alright – McLaren as a corporation doesn’t half take things seriously – but it makes their cars hard to love, for me anyhow. Plenty have found homes in a short space of time. The new McLaren 570S seems to come from a different place. There’s the simple name – 570 being the car’s approximate grunt measured in PS (that’s 564bhp for those reading in imperial), “S” for “Sports Series”. There’s the fact it’s oh-my-so-sorry-am-Istaring pretty. And there’s the fact that its 194,000€. Yep, the last new car McLaren

launched was way north of £1million, this one is around one-tenth of that price (and they are really not so different). Audi decided to drop V8-engined versions when it launched its second generation R8 last month, in favour of the more expensive V10s. Ooops. And sure, Porsche will sell you a 911 Turbo S for slightly less money. But the 911 looks like a 911 and the Audi is….an Audi. There really is nothing out there like the 570s. The 12C/650/675 and the P1 had competition, the way a racing team likes it. The 570S has none. So it’s not only the prettiest McLaren, it’s also the smartest. Although the issues with the 12C/650 etc. suggested a strategy written in pencil, this was always the plan. All McLarens – from gazilliondollar P1 GTRs to pocketmoney 570s – share the same major components. McLaren says the twin-turbo 3.8-litre V8 in the 570S.

The New Mercedes-AMG C63 All the way to the Costa del Sol – to drive the new Mercedes-AMG C63 coupe – and we are met with British weather when we step out of the plane at Malaga. Not the end of the world, but it could be the end of the C63 S that we will shortly be driving around the Ascari race track up in the hills near Ronda. And when we get to the track it’s gone from British drizzle to Indian monsoon downpour. We were very impressed by the standard C-Class coupe (driven on the same occasion as this car) but weren’t bowled over by its engines. No such problem with the C63. You have the choice of two types, the standard C63 with a 476bhp version of Merc’s 4.0-litre twin-turbo V8 or the C63 S with a 510bhp version of that engine which is also used in the AMG GT S sports car. Only the C63’s roof and doors are shared with the non-AMG coupe, the rest of the external panels are completely new. The wings have to be to enclose the acreage

of rubber and also to make way for tracks that are 73mm wider at the front and 46mm wider at the rear. The wheel arches are 64mm wider at the front and 66mm at the back. Add a new front end with a selection of cooling scoops and grilles and you have one fantastic looking car. The ordinary C-Class

coupe with a lowly diesel engine is a fine looking motor but this AMG monster is stunning. Makes you wonder what Mercedes can come up with to make a future Black Series look even more sporty and aggressive. We drove the S on the circuit because when it’s this wet, 34bhp less is hardly

going to save you from making a berk of yourself. What you need in these conditions if you don’t have Lewis Hamilton levels of talent is an array of face-saving electronics controlling stability and traction control. An AMG Merc from 10 years ago would have had complete brain fade if you hit the throttle hard in slippery

conditions like these and would have put a blanket ban on forward motion while you sat there looking at yellow flashing lights. Having survived driving on the track it was on to Spanish roads. Smooth roads, better than most of ours, so the Merc’s sporty ride on them could be unpleasantly harsh back

home. You’ll probably be able to live with that because any achy back issues will be soothed by the excitement you’ll get. There are vast amounts of thrust wherever the needle is pointing on the rev counter. The S will do 062mph in 3.9sec and the non S will do it in 4.0sec. Both cars are restricted to 155mph, but you can have that upped to 180mph if you cross Merc’s palms for the Driver’s Package. I’d have this car over the BMW M4 any day. It’s more thrilling, it steers better and is more fun to drive at realistic speeds. Mercedes will be happy to read that, but probably not so pleased to read that I’d also have its 90,550 EURC63 S over its much more expensive AMG GT sports car. The coupe is just as exciting to drive and looks equally dramatic, but in a different way. The last AMG-badged car I drove that was this good was called the C63 Black Series. The thought of a Black Series version of this C63 could keep me awake at night.

Motoring

Friday 15th January 2016

Nissan Kicks Compact SUV Is Go And the Mazda CX-3rivalling baby SUV could be coming to Australia too Japanese car-maker Nissan has today announced it will build an allnew compact SUV called the Kicks in Brazil this year, and it could become available to Australians. Roughly the size of a Mazda CX-3, the new p i n t - s i z e crossover is likely to be even smaller and cheaper – but just as cheeky – as the JUKE, w h i c h currently opens Nissan’s SUV range at 18,000€ Nissan CEO Carlos Ghosn confirmed a $US267 million ($A370m) investment in the Resende manufacturing plant in Rio de Janeiro State to build the new Kicks, which will be distributed initially in Latin America. The micro-SUV will then be “sold globally”, says the com-

pany, which stated: “Nissan continues to study the business case for launching Kicks in other regions, underlining the brand’s commitment to glob-

al Crossover leadership.” Although the official line from Nissan Australia is currently non-committal, we understand Nissan is considering the new model for A u s t r a l i a ’s

although it’s a tipped to be heavily influenced by the funky Nissan Kicks

booming small SUV market, where it would slot in beneath the JUKE and QASHQAI – potentially priced from under $20,000 like the top-selling CX-3. “At this time it’s too early to say,” Nissan Australia’s

General Manager of Corporate Communications, Peter Fadeyev told motoring.com.au this morning. Few details about the new model have been divulged, such as its engine, gearbox, features and dimensions. Even the design is still top secret,

Concept (pictured) originally shown at the 2014 São Paulo Motor Show in Brazil. When the Kicks production vehicle goes on sale

sometime this year (2016), it won’t be a conventional design, insists José Valls, chairman of Nissan Latin America. “With Nissan Kicks, we will go beyond the obvious to pack a punch with a strong design statement and the performance that our customers crave.” The design, development and engineering of the new model has been led by Nissan’s Japanese base but input from Nissan Design America in San Diego and Nissan Design America in Rio has also taken place, says the Japanese carmaker. Emerging markets such as India, Russia and Brazil are becoming increasingly important to global car-makers, and Ghosn highlighted this fact, saying: “The Kicks will bring Nissan’s unique crossover expertise to more regions.”

2016 Honda Civic Type R Hot Hatch The Honda Civic Type R Is Every Bit As Fast As It Looks

The styling of the new Honda Civic Type R “looks very sporty, doesn’t it?” Thus was my great-aunt Pam’s first reaction upon sighting the Honda Civic Type R. In fact, “sporty” was something of an understatement. The hot Civic sat, wide and angry, astride two of the miniscule parking spaces outside her wardenassisted flat in a small Hampshire village, fitting in about as well as a rhino at a tea party. I gave a sprightly 94-year-

old, a lift back to the Robbins homestead for Sunday lunch. She always looks forward to seeing which car I’ll turn up in, but on this occasion my choice of transport was less than ideal. After I’d helped her over the hard, high seat bolster and strapped her into the racing bucket seat, we were both about ready for a cup of tea and a nice rest. But I’m nonplussed by the Civic’s overt raciness, she was already making approving noises.

“It’s very snazzy in here,” she said, observing quite astutely the creases, folds, and splashes of carbon fibre and red fabric slathered around the Civic’s interior. “Busy” is the word I’d use, but like the exterior, it certainly leaves you in no doubt about this car’s intentions. Let’s deal with the looks. This is, of course, a highly subjective area, and you’ll already know whether you like them or not. One thing that can’t be denied,

though, is the presence the Civic Type R has on the road. Those sporty looks also set the tone for the rest of the car. The suspension is taut, the steering is superquick, and a prod on the accelerator elicits a series of whooshing and chuffing noises from the turbo, and sets off the row of shift lights that run across the top of the instruments. The whole thing is gleefully unsubtle. “Sounds like fun, but I bet it’s a bit of a nightmare when you’re not in the mood,” you’re thinking. Well, in reality, even after a couple of hours on the motorway you’ll emerge feeling pretty relaxed. Sure, the suspension is firm, but not unreasonably so, and at speed the ride settles nicely. The ride was perfectly comfortable – though there was a quaver in her voice when we drove over a recessed drain cover. “Would you like to see what it can do, then?” I said. “Oh yes,” she replied. “I’ve been waiting for you to stop driving like an old man.” You have to open the taps gently with the Civic Type R, for its 306bhp is channelled

through only the front wheels, not all four, like in a Volkswagen Golf R, probably the best über-hatch around at the moment. True, Honda has fitted the Civic Type R with a limited-

slip differential, which helps distribute the power more evenly, but on a damp, cold road like this one, the throttle needs to be opened gently to give the tyres a chance to bite.

Friday 15th January 2016

Visit the website, n332.es

What Types of Vehicles Can I Drive?

If you look at the back of your driving license you will see a list of vehicle categories determined by both a letter and a pictogram indicating the type of vehicle referred to. The license also displays dated next to those categories for which you are permitted to drive, in the columns headed 10, 11 and 12, which detail validity from and to dates and any observations respectively. The vast majority of drivers in Spain have a category “B” licence, which means they are certified as qualified to drive a normal passenger car, but being qualified in that category also allows you to drive some other vehicles. As a category B licence holder you are permitted to drive specially designed passenger cars, for private use, ranging from a small urban car, an SUV, minivan or sports car.

There is no limitation to the type of vehicle, so long as it is registered as a private car, but there are limitations to the physical characteristics. Namely, a private car must be equal to or less than 3,500 kg in weight and can have a maximum of nine seats, including the driver. The vehicle can only be driven for private and leisure use and not for any commercial gain, whether that be for business or carrying passengers in exchange for cash or goods. In the case of vans, you can drive any van in which either passengers, goods or both can be transported, whether that vehicle is approved as a private or commercial vehicle, so long as it has a maximum weight equal to or less than 3,500 kg and no more than nine seats including the driver. For both cars and vans you can also attach a trailer with a category B licence, provided the total combined weight of the vehicle and trailer do not exceed the maximum weight permitted by the technical specifications of the vehicle. In the case of passenger cars, there are two options allowed under a category B licence. Firstly, a passenger vehicle of up to up to 3,500 kg and a trailer not exceeding

750 kg, representing a maximum combined weight of 4,250 kg. Or a passenger car (up to 3,500 kg) and a trailer exceeding 750 kg, provided that the combination does not exceed 3,500 kg. If the trailer exceeds 750 kg and the joint between car and trailer exceeds 3,500 kg but not exceeding 4,250 kg, it is necessary to take two specific practical tests which covers vehicle manoeuvres and dealing with traffic. If the trailer exceeds 750 kg and the joint between car and trailer also exceeds 4,250 kg, it is necessary to obtain a BE category certification, which enables a passenger car to tow up to 7,000 kg, spread over 3,500 kg maximum weight for the car and 3,500 kg maximum weight for the trailer. This requires both a theoretical test and two practical tests, one of manoeuvres and the other in traffic. However, in addition to what we might consider to be the normal vehicles one would expect to be able to drive with a category B licence, but there are others. You are permitted to drive some two-wheeled vehicles with the category B qualification. Having the “B” category automatically qualifies licence holders for the AM category. That permits drivers to ride small mopeds with engines smaller than 50cc or an electric motor, provided that the vehicle has a maximum limited speed of 45 kilometres per hour and they are only ridden on urban roads.

After holding your category B licence for a period of 3 years, you are automatically upgraded to be allowed to drive vehicles requiring the A1 category, which permits you to drive small motorcycles up to 125 cc and with a maximum power of 11 kW (15 hp). However, you must be aware that this is only the case in Spain. This automatic classification is not effective in other European countries without obtaining the A1 classification qualification separately. That is why, even if your license is issued in Spain, you will not

Biggest Increase in Biker Deaths Since 2011

Despite positive trends to reduce the number of fatalities on the roads of Spain, 2015 ended with the worst results for four years for deaths involving one particular type of vehicle – motorbikes. In total, there were 247 motorcycle deaths last year, 60 more than in 2014, representing an increase of 32%. This has been the worst year since 2011 when a similar number of people lost their lives in motorbike relat-

ed incidents. According to successive annual reports issued by the Ministry of the Interior, 270 deaths were recorded in 2011; 218 in 2012; 215 in 2013; 187 in 2014; and 247 in 2015. The data shows that a downward trend had been consistent, but the massive increase last year has given considerable cause for concern. The Director General of the DGT, Maria Segui, had already expressed her con-

cerns over the problem as the year was nearing a close, explaining the three apparent major contributing factors to the increase in motorbike deaths, namely increased mobility, the rise in the average age of such vehicles, and an increasing number of riders not wearing a helmet properly, of the deaths last year, 13 people were not wearing a helmet. The DGT believes that the increase in deaths is also related to the increase in use of vehicles. The economic upturn in 2015 resulted in an increase in traffic on the roads, partly for leisure and partly for work, as more people also managed to secure a job. In addition, according to the Bikers Mutual Association, the improved weather conditions throughout the year, especially during holidays such a Easter, meant that motorbike use seemed a more attractive option than ever before. María José Alonso, Vice President of the Bikers Road Safety Platform, has blamed

the authorities for not doing enough, especially in rural areas, by not improving roads and for not placing proper signage in appropriate places. Many other groups representing the riders themselves are still denouncing the poor state of the roads and the lack of investment. The Spanish Road Association released a report claiming that the situation of the roads was “the worst since 1985” and that it needs 6,500 million euro investment in order to return them to their optimal state. Moreover, according to data from the DGT, 18% of those killed in 2015 died after crashing into a crash barrier, according to the group, reinforcing their calls for improvements or the rehabilitation of the roadbed, repairing the many cracks, potholes and poorly painted pavements, whilst also demanding that all crash barriers be replaced by those specifically designed to assist motorcyclists in the event of a collision.

see the validity dates filled in on the back of the licence unless you have undergone specific examinations. In the event of a category B licence holder riding a 125cc motorbike and getting stopped to have your details checked at the roadside, the Guardia Civil traffic officers will refer to the dates of your category B validation to ensure you qualify. With the category B license you are permitted to drive three-wheeled bikes or tricycles, provided that two of the three wheels are on the same axle. There are no limitations in terms of power, the only condition is that the manufacturer has had the vehicle approved as a tricycle and not as a three-wheeled motorcycle. The difference is that the tricycle requires specific approval and must have certain standard characteristics including a parking brake, minimum track width and lighting specific to this type of vehicle. If the vehicle does not meet these characteristics then they are subject to the conditions of licencing for motorcycles. A motorcycle with a sidecar for example is not classed as a tricycle and is governed by motorcycle licencing requirements.

All microcars and vehicles which have been approved as quads can be driven with the category B licence. This includes two categories of light quadricycle (with a maximum weight of 350 kg and maximum power of 4kW) and normal quads that can reach up to 550 kg maximum and up to 15 kW (20 hp). The four-wheel buggy type vehicle of more than 15 kW can also be driven, so long as they are classed as passenger cars. You can also drive quads or ATVs, whether of leisure or agricultural type and regardless of engine size or power.

Police Seek 80 kmph Cyclist

An investigation was launched on Tuesday to identify a cyclist videoed travelling at 80 kilometres per hour behind a bus in Barcelona. The occupants of a car videoed the cyclist on the Ronda de Litoral, using the slipstream from the bus to ease pedalling. Despite being below the maximum speed whereas a radar detector would have caught the vehicle, cyclists, along with mopeds, pedestrians and vehicles transporting goods are not permitted on the particular stretch of road.

Meanwhile, complaints were once again raised this week over the dangerous practice of skateboarding along the steep and winding mountainous path at sa Calobra in Mallorca. A popular pastime for some years now there have yet to be any recorded serious incidents or fatalities, but motorists are urging the authorities to take action as it is only a matter of time before one of these frill seekers is killed or seriously injured at the hands of another road user innocently going about their business.

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SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA MEDIA needs self-employed salesperson for Torrevieja – Orihuela Costa and surrounding areas. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

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CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, all welcome to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further

information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf-spain.org. International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club.Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276

TUITION Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers. Provide an insight into most musical styles. From 10€ per hour. Call Peter Now on 966789612 or 629975378.

QUIZ MASTER Experienced quiz-master /question setter with personality If you would like a quiz master that is interesting and entertaining, questions that are challenging yet not too difficult so as to be ungettable available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel: 664 838 581.

Friday 15th January 2016 Friday 30th October 2015

La Veulta’s Costa Decider

The route for La Veulta this summer was officially announced last weekend, and this year's race shuns the southern part of Spain totally, but the Northern Costa Blanca gets a big slice

of the action. La Veulta will have 10 summit finishes over the three week race from Ourense on August 20th through to the finish in Madrid on September 11th. Stage 19 on September

19th will see a 39 kilometre time-trial based around Javea and Calpe, and then there's a gruelling Stage 20 the following day, which starts in Benidorm and will have the riders heading towards the summit of Aitana on a 184 kilometres course. "We don't care who makes it to the highest step on the podium," said Vuelta race director Javier Guillén (pictured on the far right along with Alicante Provincial Council representatives including ex-Torrevieja mayor Eduardo Dolon on the far

left). "But if I can make a wish now, eight months before the grand depart, I would like for the excitement and equality to increase as the stages progress and, finally, I would love for the climb to the Alto de Aitana to really decide who will win the next edition of the Vuelta." Dutchman Tom Dumoulin took over the race lead in last year's long time trial in Burgos, but Italian Fabio Aru dropped him on the final mountain day to win the general classification. Three-time Vuelta winner

Alberto Contador – who has yet to announce whether he'll take part in the race or not – gave a measured verdict on the route, saying: "2016 will be the toughest year to reach the Vuelta in good form. After

the Tour, it will be very tough to rest because of the Olympic Games. It will be much more difficult, compared to previous years, to fully recover in order to start the Vuelta in top shape."

Deuce Of A Dilemma

El Nico must chase Grand Slam glory as a German Tennis sensation Nicola Kuhn must wait for clearance to play under the Spanish flag as he rockets towards international stardom, writes DONNA GEE. The Austrian-born teenager has lived in Torrevieja since he was three months old but as a German passport holder, opted to play for his father's

homeland after their tennis authorities offered to help with training and equipment expenses. As Germany's No.1, he led his adopted country to the Final of the 2015 Junior Davis Cup in October, winning the tournament's Most Valuable Player award in the process. And he goes into next week's Australian Open championship in Melbourne with genuine hopes of mak-

ing junior tennis history. Nico sees his future playing for Spain and, subject to obtaining a Spanish passport - which should have been a formality - has been given permission to compete in future tournaments under the Spanish flag. Ideally, he would be competing in the first Grand Slam tournament of the year for the country he calls home, but following frustrat-

Murray Helps To Raise £83,000 Tennis star Andy Murray has raised more than £83,000 for the charity Unicef through his Andy's Aces initiative. Last September, the Wimbledon winner and current BBC Sports Personality of the Year said he would donate £50 every time he hits an ace on court. His donations were added to by his sponsors, tennis associations and fans. Murray created the scheme following the repercussions of the conflict in

Syria and said: "It's amazing that we've been able to raise so much." The Dunblane-born star, who led Britain to Davis Cup glory last year, added: "I remember watching the news last summer and deciding I wanted to do something to help some of the millions of children whose lives have turned upside down by the situation in Syria. "I'm very grateful to my sponsors and fans for their help in this - I couldn't have

done it without them. I know how hard Unicef are working to support these children, and millions of others around the world and I'm proud to have been able to help." Murray's sponsors Standard Life and Under Armour, along with the Lawn Tennis Association and The Association of Tennis Professionals, matched every £50 donation from the tennis star, and Standard Life employees also participated in fundraising.

ing bureaucratic delays, his father Alfred conceded this week: "As long as Nico has to wait for his Spanish passport, he has to play under the German flag.'' Young Kuhn also faces two years in limbo before he can put his German international allegiance fully behind him and compete in team events for Spain. By the time he was 12, Nico had amassed a treasure chest of silverware in local tournaments. Hooked on tennis since his parents, Rita and Alfred, bought him a racket for his third birthday, he joined the prestigious Equelite Tennis Academy run by former world No.1 Juan Carlos Ferrero. For the past three years he has commuted almost daily between his home in La Mata and the academy in Villena. That adds up to a round trip of 208 kilometres for his regular chauffeurs, namely his overworked parents. And after a sensational 2015, and three months before his 16th birthday,

Nico began 2016 as one of only two 15 year-olds in the world's top 50 junior players. He also has a golden chance of making tennis history in Melbourne this month as one of the youngest players ever to win a Junior Grand Slam event. His 2015 form earned him enough ranking points to go straight into the main draw for the Australian Junior Open – and after disposing of three of the current World Top 10 in an 11match victory sequence in the Junior Davis Cup, he looks capable of beating any of the main Melbourne contenders. Kuhn's coach Fran Martinez, intent of keeping Nico's feet firmly on the ground, plays down suggestions that he is the world's best player born in the 21st century. Yet official ITF records show that he has achieved more at the age of 15 than Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Andy Murray or Rafael Nadal managed in their youth. Nico's mentor Ferrero

predicts: "I think he can be a great player and can reach a very high level if he continues working with the same mentality," Boris Becker, who won Wimbledon at the age of 17, went even further after watching Kuhn in action a couple of years ago. ''He's a better player than I was at his age,'' conceded the German legend. Kuhn's remarkable progress in 2015 won him the title of Alicante province's Most Promising sports star – and prompted Spain's national football league, La Liga to provide an extra kick by roping him into a new sponsorship package involving three top junior sports stars. ''I am not 100 per cent happy,'' Nico says of his current international status as a German player. ''The ITF rule says I can't play team competitions for Spain for two years - but I can play under the Spanish flag. ''As for my tennis, I know I can get great results. But I need to work hard and focus on the next year.''

O'Sullivan Wins In First Round Ronnie O'Sullivan made a winning return in his first major tournament for nine months with a 6-5 victory over Mark Williams in the Masters first round. Fivetime world and Masters champion O'Sullivan took a break from the sport after last April's World Championship.Trailing 4-2, he won three straight frames before securing his place in the quarter-finals after Williams missed a plant in the dramatic decider. O'Sullivan will face Mark

Selby, who thrashed Ricky Walden 6-0. Selby, who has won the title three times, was in stunning form, making breaks of 71, 113, 66 and 81 to go through. O'Sullivan had chosen not to play competitive snooker after losing to Stuart Bingham in the 2015 World Championship quarter-finals. He returned to play in qualifying for the German Masters in December but failed to reach the main stages, winning his first

match before suffering a shock defeat against Stuart Carrington. A miscue in the third frame against two-time world champion Williams seemed to spoil O'Sullivan's rhythm as he struggled in front of a raucous crowd. However, breaks of 104, 60 and 117 gave him a 5-4 lead, and O'Sullivan sealed victory with a 62 after the Welshman took the match to the final frame. "I was lucky to get through," O'Sullivan said “.

Ivie Davies on Golf

Friday 15th January 2016

Gareth’s Dream Golf Garden What does Gareth Bale get up to when he's not growing his hair; wearing Alice bands; getting a hattrick for Real Madrid; or waiting on that call from Manchester United? Well he's playing golf. And now he's building his own three hole course at his home in the Vale of Glamorgan in Wales. The three hole track will include three holes based on the most famous par three's in golf, the postage stamp at Royal Troon, the 11th at Augusta, and the island

green 17th at Sawgrass. The Welsh international is a true golf addict and plays whenever he can and plays off six. Imagine being one of the most highly paid professional footballers in the world. The fame, the glamour and most of all....the money! Well, you could do anything you want couldn’t you? He has a dream that he can make a reality. Bale has decided to go for that big back garden golf makeover, and to show just how serious he is

about this project he’s also scouted out some of the finest green keepers in South Wales to become his full time green keeper. The former Spurs ace tries to play as much golf as possible, In fact, he’s obsessed with it. He’s not really thought about what he’ll be doing when he retires from football, but, he will be playing golf. With this in your backyard Gareth...I have a sneaky feeling you’ll be doing just that when your footballing days are over. Definitely a

case of All Back to Yours Gareth!! Just thinking of what might happen when he starts playing his course with his mates. Hole 1) 17th at Sawgrass: 137 yards, par three. After asking what all those people are doing in his garden, Gareth promptly dumps two ProV1s in the drink and ends up rummaging around in his golf bag for that ropey old Top Flight. Promptly hits it to three

feet. Hole 2) 11th, Augusta National: 400 yards, par 4 The start of Amen Corner is the most difficult hole in recent years because of its added length. Gareth is no slouch off the tee and sets about producing the necessary slight fade off the tee (draw for him) necessary to reach the fairway and open up the green... Hole 3) The 123 yard , par three 8th at Royal Troon To finish himself off,

Gareth has opted for The Postage Stamp, one of the greatest and most iconic par threes in the world. It's only 123 yards long surely he can salvage par here? Fast rewind to 1997 and Tiger Woods' Postage Stamp meltdown. After pushing his tee shot into the right greenside bunker, Tiger took two to get out and three putts from there to shoot triple. Gareth suffers the same fate and instructs the green keepers to bulldoze the lot...NOT

Jordan’s On Fire World number one Jordan Spieth matched Tiger Woods by winning his seventh PGA Tour event before the age of 23 with a dominant victory at last weekend’s Hawaii's Tournament of Champions. The 22 year old cruised to an eight-shot win over Patrick Reed after a sixunder-par 67 at the Kapalua Resort on the island of Maui. Spieth won the Masters and the US Open in 2015 and wants more success. He said: "I'll try and con-

tinue exactly what we were doing last year." Spieth held a five-shot lead going into Sunday's final round and was never troubled, hitting seven birdies to post a 30-under total of 262. He became only the second player to finish a 72hole event on the PGA Tour at 30-under par or lower, emulating South African Ernie Els who won the 2003 Tournament of Champions with a 31under score. Asked how he felt after matching 14-times

major winner Woods with a seventh PGA Tour victory, Spieth said: "I don't think there's any reason to com-

pare. What Tiger's done, I can't imagine ever being done again, but it's nice to be in that company."

KNOW YOUR RULES

QUESTION

You see players replacing their ball on the putting green but they do not remove the ball-marker and then the player goes back to touch and rotate the ball to align it. Is this allowed? I thought this would be a penalty situation?” 20-4 is applicable in this situation. If the ANSWER Rule player’s ball in play has been lifted, it is again

in play when dropped or placed. Therefore, on the putting green, the ball is in play as soon as it is replaced on the ground, even if the ball-marker is still in position.

TITTER ON THE TEE A Golf Pro stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?’ The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About two hours.' A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About three hours.' A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?’ The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half’. The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favour, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.' A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?' Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, ‘Your house!'

The Courier Sport

Friday 15th January 2016

Scoreless Spoils Shared

Barclays Premier League Friday 15 January

21:55 Exeter City v Liverpool

Saturday 16 January 13:45 Tottenham Hotspur v Sunderland 16:00 Bournemouth v Norwich City 16:00 Chelsea v Everton 16:00 Manchester City v Crystal Palace 16:00 Newcastle United v West Ham United 16:00 Southampton v West Bromwich Albion 18:30 Aston Villa v Leicester City

Sunday 17 January 15:05 Liverpool v Manchester United 17:15 Stoke City v Arsenal

Monday 18 January 21:00 Swansea City v Watford

Sky Bet Championship Friday 15 January 20:45 Brentford v Burnley

Saturday 16 January

Such is the measure of Torrevieja’s recent improvement and the fact that they were going for five straight wins, that an air of disappointment surrounded last Sunday’s goalless draw against play-off contender Ontinyent. The point meant that Torry went up 12th place in the table, and of course maintain their unbeaten run, and still have hopes of being promotion contenders, with players being eyed to strengthen their squad this month Torry had lost the opening game of the season three-nil at Ontinyent and seemed to have that heavy in their minds in the first half on Sunday. They were tentative, played a

slow possession game and left lone striker Lewis Allen (pictured in a high battle) to forage on his own with little in the way of close support. Neither side fashioned much in the way of a clear cut goal opportunity until Higon outsmarted his markers and surged into the box. It was as a consequence of some delicate interplay through the middle involving Suarez, but Higon had much work to do. He deftly feinted one way then drove hard only to make space for his shot which went tamely into the hands of the keeper. Prior to this, Suarez had tested Paredes in the visitor's goal with a free kick destined for the top left hand corner. He had also

dropped a similar free kick on to the head of Quintero who went close. But Torry should have been one up earlier in the contest after Allen was hauled down in the box when about to connect with a cross. He was incensed and remonstrated with the referee who was clearly unnerved. Allen was then yellowcarded, with the referee cautioning five Torry players in total, with two from Ontinyent going into his notebook. The second half was much better - from both sides. Torry continue to look vulnerable from set pieces and indeed a few corners had them on edge with a failure to clear their lines readily, though

Miguel once again asserted himself as the keeper to calm nerves down. Down both flanks Vicente and Luis Carlos were playing with gusto and both were nip and tuck for the Pinada Blinds Man of the Match award, which was just edged by Luis. It was a quieter game for Cesar and Higon which is perhaps why clear cut goal chances were thin on the ground, whilst the manager played out his hand with all three substitutes but it was actually Ontinyent who nearly grabbed the late winner, rocking the woodwork before the final whistle. Torrevieja hit the road this weekend as they’re away to CF Borriol with a noon kick-off on Sunday.

Table Toppers Prosper chances. Carlos was especially useful down the Monte right hand side and he continually probed and beat his defender to get in a steady supply of crosses which were dealt with comfortably by a well organised Dolores defence. The only goal came in the 73rd minute as a leftwing cross was met with a powerful header on the edge of the six yard box from Choto, and it gave Lopez in goal absolutely no chance. It was frustrating for Monte and once again exposed the fact that they desperately need a good goalscorer as their without an effective front man, all their efforts come to nothing, with the Dolores game being a fine illustration of the point. This result leaves Dolores at the top of the division with 39 points from 15 matches played whilst CD Montesinos are in sev-

Sheffield Wednesday v Leeds United Blackburn Rovers v Brighton and Hove Albion Bristol City v Middlesbrough Derby County v Birmingham City Huddersfield Town v Fulham Hull City v Charlton Athletic Ipswich Town v Preston North End MK Dons v Reading Nottingham Forest v Bolton Wanderers Rotherham United v Queens Park Rangers Wolverhampton Wanderers v Cardiff City

Scottish Premiership Friday 15 January 20:45 Dundee United v Celtic

Saturday 16 January 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Heart of Midlothian v Motherwell Kilmarnock v Inverness Caledonian Thistle Partick Thistle v Dundee St. Johnstone v Hamilton Academical

Sunday 17 January 13:15 Ross County v Aberdeen

Spanish La Liga Saturday 16 January 16:00 18:15 20:30 22:05

Sevilla v Málaga Celta de Vigo v Levante Villarreal v Real Betis Real Sociedad v Deportivo de La Coruña

Sunday 17 January 12:00 16:00 18:15 18:15 20:30

CD MONTESINOS 0 CD DOLORES 1 League leaders Dolores produced a workman-like yet professional performance to come away with all three points from Montesinos, and showed why they are firm favourites to win the division, and return to the First Regional division. Monte actually played one of their better matches in this campaign, matching their opponents for most of the contest and creating enough chances to even win it. But the lack of firepower from the home side was once more evident this season as chance after chance went begging, none more so than a first time effort from M & A in the second half after some excellent work from Macan down the right side. The first half had ended all square and it was left to the Monte fans in the 271 crowd to rue missed

13:30 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Valencia CF v Rayo Vallecano Real Madrid v Sporting de Gijón Getafe v Espanyol Las Palmas v Atlético de Madrid Barcelona v Athletic Club

Monday 18 January 20:30 Eibar v Granada CF

The FA Cup Monday 18 January 20:15 Newport County v Blackburn Rovers

Tuesday 19 January 20:45 Aston Villa v Wycombe Wanderers 20:45 Bradford City v Bury 20:45 Bristol City v West Bromwich Albion 20:45 Leicester City v Tottenham Hotspur 20:45 MK Dons v Northampton Town 20:45 Portsmouth v Ipswich Town 20:45 Yeovil Town v Carlisle United 21:00 Bolton Wanderers v Eastleigh 21:00 Reading v Huddersfield Town

Rugby Clashes enth position with 24 points and, even at this stage of the season, looking as if a promotion play-off place is out of their reach. The supporters Man of the Match award was given to Club captain Fernando

and presented to him by David Winder from the golf arm of the supporters club, Torregolf.eu. Monte are away tomorrow (Saturday) to CD Murada with a 4.15pm kickoff.

Top plays bottom in the Murcia Federation first division this weekend as the leaders Murcia University entertain ITV Orihuela Vega Baja. Both sides also meet in the under-18 cadetes league at the same venue, whilst the

Torrevieja Tigers, who lead the table, entertain thirdplaced Murcia at the Nelson Mandela stadium. The women’s league sees an alllocal encounter between the San Javier Squalos and ITV Orihuela Vega Baja.

Friday 15th January 2016

Magical Messi

Messi’s Moment

The Courier Sport

ALLEN’S

BARCELONA 4 GRANADA 0 Barcelona coach Luis Enrique said Lionel Messi's brilliance will last "as long as he wants" after the Argentine netted a hat-trick in his side's comfortable 4-0 win over Granada last Saturday. The Argentine international scored twice in the opening 14 minutes and hit his third after 57 minutes to complete his first treble in 10 months. Enrique said: "His play goes with the character you need to be the best player in the world, he's a unique player of the like we will never see again". "Messi will go on for as long as he wants. Above all, he has the objective of the group to motivate him year after year, which is to do nothing else but keep winning trophies and helping the team. But he also has an individual objective, which is to keep breaking records. And for Barca fans, it’s a pleasure to see him keep doing it." Barcelona are at home to Athletic Bilbao this Sunday evening.

Five Star Real REAL MADRID 5 DEPORTIVO 0 Zinedine Zidane avoided lavishing individual praise on Gareth Bale after his hat-trick gave the Frenchman victory in his first match in charge of Real Madrid. Bale scored three fine goals while Karim Benzema added a further two as Real thrashed Deportivo at the Bernabeu last Saturday. Zidane said: "Gareth just has to do what I've asked everyone else to do, which is to defend without the ball and open the pitch up and play when we have it. Nothing has changed among the players. What's changed is the coach, and I'm going to try and make them play in the best way possible." "It pleased me a lot and you could feel it. The fans were always behind the team. There was a good atmosphere and we have to continue and think about our next game. Our plan is to play good football and win games." Real are four points behind leaders Atletico and two behind Barcelona, and are at home again this Sunday afternoon when they entertain Sporting Gijon.

Barcelona forward Lionel Messi has won the Ballon d'Or award for the world's best player for the fifth time. The 28-year-old Argentine had 41.33% of the vote, with Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo (27.76%) second and Barca's Neymar (7.86%) third. Either Messi or Ronaldo, who became a three-time winner last year, have won the past eight awards. "It's a very special moment for me to be back here on this stage, winning again another Ballon d'Or after seeing Cristiano win it," Messi said at Monday night’s FIFA ceremony in Zurich. "It's incredible that it's my fifth, much more than anything I would have dreamed of as a kid." Barcelona coach Luis Enrique won the world coach of the year award after leading his side to five of the six trophies on offer in 2015, including the Champions League, La Liga and the Copa del Rey.

Joe Allen sc aliser as minute equ al’s ented Arsen Liverpool d e tl ti e gu Premier Lea ating 3-3 ls u p a in hopes field. draw at An

Routine Progress

ESPANYOL 0 BARCELONA 2 (agg 1-6)

Late Leveller Shock

REAL VALLADOLID 1 ELCHE 1

A last minute equaliser deprived Elche of a victory at Valladolid last Saturday, but at least the Ilicitanos are now five games unbeaten and looking a tight unit. The wet conditions at the José Zorrilla stadium were hardly helpful for producing good football. Sergio León produced a long range shot in the first chance for the visitors, but then Valladolid came into the game more and produced the better chances, with keeper Javi Jiménez producing a good save from Rodri, and the well-run Elche defence being kept busy for the rest of the first half. There was greater intensity from Elche in the second period, as both sides tried to play positively, and in the 69th minute, the Ilicitanos took the lead as Sergio León set up Alvaro to score. The home side then laid siege on the Elche goal with once again Javi Jiménez proving to be an immovable force until a Rodri header in the dying seconds of the match levelled up matters. Elche entertain one of the Segunda division frontrunners Alcorcon tomorrow afternoon with a 5.00pm kick-off.

DENIED BY N thALLEore d a 90

Munir El Haddadi scored both goals on Wednesday as a Barcelona side missing several regulars beat their city rivals Espanyol 2-0 for a thumping 6-1 aggregate success in the last 16 of the Copa del Rey. Lionel Messi set El Haddadi clear to round Francesco Bardi and open the scoring with a deft finish at Espanyol’s Cornellà-El Prat stadium. The academy graduate, who has had limited playing time since his promotion from the B team, made it 2-0 two minutes from time with a tap-in from Aleix Vidal’s centre. El Haddadi was deployed up front in place of Luis Suárez, suspended for his part in a fracas after last week’s bad-tempered first leg, with the likes of Neymar, Andrés Iniesta, Sergio Busquets and Gerard Piqué rested. Felipe Caicedo caused some problems for the Barca defence but Marc-André ter Stegen was equal to anything the Ecuador striker could throw at him.

Not A Problem

Chelsea manager Guus Hiddink insists Diego Costa’s fiery temper is not a problem and says he likes that the forward plays with emotion. Costa was at the centre of a number of talking points in Chelsea's 2-2 Premier League draw with West Bromwich Albion at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday night.

CALM DOW KLOPP

d ger admitte Arsene Wen er ag an pool m he told Liver pp to "calm lo K Jurgen 3 e thrilling 3down" in th . d el fi n draw at A

>> Firmino fires Reds ahead

Valcke: Fifa Sacks World football's governing body Fifa has dismissed secretary general Jerome Valcke. The Frenchman, 55, was provisionally suspended from football for his alleged involvement in a scheme to profit from the sale of World Cup tickets. He was released from his duties on 17 September after being accused of a series of Fifa ethics code breaches. Appointed in 2007, the former right-hand man of Fifa president Sepp Blatter has denied any wrongdoing. "The duties of the secretary general will continue to be assumed by the acting secretary general, Dr Markus Kattner," read a Fifa statement. Fifa's ethics committee said on 7 January that it had decided to open "formal adjudicatory proceedings" against Valcke after studying a report submitted by its investigatory chamber. Valcke has also been accused of being

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 15th January 2016

LAST GASP EQUALISER!

LIVERPOOL 3- 3 ARSENAL

! 0 9 E O J

The Latest Sport Headlines CRICKET South Africa suffer De Kock injury blow RUGBY UNION Players must change mindset - Jones FOOTBALL Wenger confirms £5m Elneny signing EUROPEAN FOOTBALL Barcelona in Copa del Rey quarters with derby win FOOTBALL Baroness Campbell named FA women's chief

>> Klopp goes wild as Liverpool salvage a draw

FOOTBALL Enormous, enormous win - Allardyce CYCLING All teams should publish tests - Team Sky

Well, It’s Not Jose…

after just 10 minutes at Anfield

Secretary General party to a potential £6.8m ($10m) bribe paid to Jack Warner, the former head of the North and Central America football governing body Concacaf, in return for his vote and backing to South Africa's successful bid to host the 2010 World Cup. Fifa's ethics committee has already recommended that Valcke should be banned from all footballing activities for nine years. Blatter and vice-president Michel Platini were both suspended for eight years in December following a Fifa ethics investigation. Valcke has now been sacked twice by Fifa. He joined the organisation in 2003 as director of marketing and TV, but was dismissed in 2006 over a scandal involving its long-time sponsorship partner Mastercard. He was found to have negotiated with Mastercard's rival Visa in violation of the former company's right of first negotiation, which cost Fifa $90m (£61.3m) in a settlement.

For once Real Madrid surprised everybody last week. No, not by firing poor old Rafa Benitez, as his card was soon marked as first Barcelona, then Atletico stepped up to do it better in La Liga this season. No, step forward one Zinedine Zidane, the Frenchman who played and brought glory to the Spanish giants as well as for his France team who won the World Cup in 1998. It’s a tremendous gamble by Real president Florentino Perez, as ‘Zizou’ has never managed anyone except Real Madrid Castilla, the club’s second team. Yes, agreed, the 43year-old studied at the knee of Carlo Ancelotti in 2013/4 as assistant manager, watching Ryan Giggs-style as Real were still second-best to Barcelona, even with the likes of Ronaldo and Bale on board. Out went Ancelotti, in came Benitez for his turn on the spit, and even his departure was swift by Madrilean standards: not even half a season for the man who with Valencia a decade ago split the Real/Barca

duopoly. Many surmised Jose Mourinho might return prodigally Chelsealike as last time he did actually manage to get the better of Barcelona for one season but eventually paid the price all Real managers do. Where Jose goes from here is a curious conundrum, with Chelsea unrecognisable from the champions of the previous Prem season. Jose’s final volley at his players was to accuse them of betrayal which immediately signalled the disastrous end of the second coming. This ignominious sacking damaged his reputation, with the wounded ‘Special One’ saying he was seeking immediate re-employment elsewhere, which hasn’t happened. A break and wound-licking session would have surely been more prudent? No, Louis van Gaal didn’t go, and no, United didn’t push him Moyes-style, with Jose not being offered a position which he would dearly love to have a crack at. Amongst all the enemies he’s made during his career he never took on Alex Ferguson or stirred

Man United up - unlike Liverpool or Arsenal and Arsene Wenger. But if van Gaal does go, there are other contenders for the Old Trafford position: Giggs must be given a chance sometime in the same way Real have with Zidane. Comparisons between Real Madrid and Chelsea are irresistible: two megarich ruthless clubs who have regularly fired managers willy-nilly trying to achieve constant leadership of their country and success in Europe. Outside their own oneeyed fan base, they earn little sympathy, although Real are better supported nationally in Spain than Chelsea are in England. That’s largely down to Mourinho’s siege-mentality approach in the UK, quickly building an unnecessary ‘everybody hates us’ platform. With the shadow of Pep Guardiola looming over the Blue corner of Manchester, both Chelsea and United sit uneasily as to their direction. Ancelotti is currently unemployed and may yet figure in the mix. Mourinho? Doubtful…

BOXING Haye wants world title 'belief' FOOTBALL Huth strikes late for Leicester at Spurs FOOTBALL West Brom hold Chelsea to draw SNOOKER Higgins & Robertson secure progress FOOTBALL Man City & Everton ends goalless RUGBY UNION Ospreys sign Springbok Engelbrecht ENGLISH RUGBY Beaumont in new-look England squad 331 FOOTBALL Homophobic chants lead to Fifa fines TENNIS Broady loses Australian

Supplied by BBC

KLOPP’S

ROBBERS! MIDLANDES! L T T A B

Last Wednesday, the latest chapter of the Tottenham v Leicester saga, an 83rd minute header from evergreen Robert Huth gave the Foxes all three points to return Ranieri’s raiders back to the top of the Prem jointly on points with Arsenal – with an interesting game coming up on Saturday in north Birmingham, where they meet never say die Astonishing Villa who actually got their first win of the season, a 1 – 0 victory over the high-flying Eagles of Crystal Palace. Credit to Remi Garde’s sweeping changes to his side after a big defeat by Sunderland, where a mistake by goalkeeper Hennessey let Lescott’s header squirm over the line. Now Villa face the Foxes. Hey, now if they could win that, who knows? Poor old Bournemouth were leading West Ham 1 – 0 at half time but that man Dimitri Payet equalised with a superb free kick. The French playmaker then supplied Enner Valencia, and the Ecuadorian finally added a third for the Hammers. Slaven Bilic’s boys now sit fifth on equal points with losing Tottenham and visit St James’ Park on Saturday. Bournemouth entertain Norwich, a massive six-pointer where two points divide the clubs who sit uneasily just above the Dreaded Drop Department. Both clubs lost 3 – 1 in midweek: something’s gotta give.

S ’ U L E ROM If you want first class football fulfilment look no further than the pristine Prem. In this fixture-congested week we enjoyed not one but two 3 – 3 belters. Top four significance meant leaders Arsenal were ahead twice at Anfield (Pictures on pages 46-47) but after initially leading, back came Liverpool to equalise late in the pouring rain and snow, all credit to the players who gave it everything. Despite the galling loss of two points while looking like winning, the Gunners are still top, and Sunday’s dangerous visit to superseventh Stoke seems stupendous. Hey, guess who’s coming next to Anfield? Not to be outdone for entertainment value, on Tuesday two hungry teams from either end of the Prem in the shape of Newcastle and Man Utd also

gave it everything in yet another of the great games of the season. Penalties apiece, a brace of (more) Rooney goals, and a terrific fighting back performance from Newcastle gave their weary, long-suffering supporters something to get excited about at last. The mere point each keeps the Magpies in the bottom three and United ominously slipping to a serious sixth place behind West Ham who won well, 3 – 1 down at worried Bournemouth. Now a huge showdown awaits Louis van Gaal’s men at Anfield on Sunday: Liverpool v Man United is one of the great English football fixtures, no place for the faint-hearted or fence-sitters. The nasty neighbours hate each other, separated by a short journey down the East Lancs road.

PEP DREAM MENTALITY TO CHANGE ON HOLD Pep Guardiola has claimed it could be two years before he manages a club in the Premier League. Guardiola revealed earlier this year he would leave Bayern Munich when his contract expires at the end of the season because he wanted to manage in England's top flight. He is linked with the Man City, Man Utd, & Chelsea hotseat.

Eddie Jones insists he will drop players not willing to work hard as he attempts to change the mentality of the England team. The England head coach named his Elite Player squad for the Six Nations on Wednesday with Dylan Hartley and Chris Ashton restored to the fold. Tom Youngs, Tom Wood and Brad Barritt are among the omissions.

N R U T RE

A hugely disappointing goalless draw at the Etihad was the latest in the Man City/Everton saga. City entertain up-and-down Crystal Palace on Saturday, while Everton go to Chelsea. Stamford Bridge of sighs was the scene of Wednesday’s 2 – 2 draw with spirited West Brom who twice came back from behind, even conceding an own goal – so Chelsea only ‘scored’ one goal courtesy of their defender Azpiliceuta. Europe? In your dreams, Blues… No doubt Everton’s bang ‘em in striker Romelu Lukaku will enjoy a return to the club which sold him short. Mark Hughes’ exciting side duly put away worried Norwich to deservedly climb to seventh place, a heady position for the Potteries club. Shh, but at this rate Sparky might even be invited back to Old Trafford where he was once a favourite son. As he was dismissed as manager at nasty neighbours Man City, how cool would that be for the Welshman? And they’ll be confidant against at home to high flying Arsenal on Sunday. Southampton stormed back from recent mediocre results with a sound 2 – 0 win against difficult-tobeat Watford, and now entertain West Brom on Saturday. It’s official: Swansea are in serious trouble, the latest being on the wrong end of a 4 – 2 defeat by fellow strugglers Sunderland, where a storming Jermain Defoe hat trick did it for the Black Cats. Can Sam Allardyce somehow pull off the half-expected Houdini act and save Sunderland, a la Gus Poyet and Dick Advocaat? Swansea must lick their wounds until Monday night when they face wobbled Watford. But the Swans form is dire and selling Jonjo Shelvey to Newcastle won’t help.

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47