The Courier Edition 273 by TKO UK

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Edition 273

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Friday 27th May 2016

THE SKY’S THE LIMIT! B

ritish expats using Ryanair services from Alicante-Elche and San Javier airports are set to benefit from the Irish budget airline’s announcement of an air price war. The company says that fares will fall by at least seven percent this year and up to 12 percent in the winter months as it fends off the competition from other airlines offering low fares in Europe. “If there is a fare war in Europe, then Ryanair will be the winner,” said Michael O'Leary, the company’s chief executive, speaking to journalists this week. Ryanair has promised to

BY ALEX TRELINSKI

beat rival companies after beating 2015 profits by 43 per cent to take €1.2 billion for the year to the end of March. Revenues rose 16 per cent to €6.5 billion in the year. The airline benefitted from lower fuel costs but

suffered from over 500 cancellations following the Brussels terrorist attacks. O'Leary said that "unjustified" strikes in Italy, Greece, Belgium and France had caused a further 200 cancellations and that its first

quarter 2016 profit would take a hit. Despite cancellations, passenger numbers have risen nine per cent and the airline said it expected to have carried 116 million passengers in the year to March. Ryanair uses a "load factor/yield passive" model that means that it decreases prices in order to keep its planes full. Over the past two years, the loads factor, or how full the planes are, has improved from 83 per cent to 93 per cent and Ryanair has almost increased its passenger numbers from 80 million to 106 million.

BRUTAL ATTACK A

British woman was beaten up and sexually assaulted by three men in a property at the La Tercia Golf Resort at Gea y Truyols in the Murcia region last Friday (May 20th). The raiders burst into the home at around 4.00pm and subjected the woman to a terrifying ordeal. No details over her age and whether she was a resident or staying on holiday were released by the authorities. The three assailants, who were said to be Spanish, drove to the address in a stolen car and went in demanding money.

The woman refused their request and according to

the police, was subjected to violence and a sexual

assault. The ordeal only ended because the woman's sister arrived and surprised them, leading them to flee as they stole her car, as well driving away in their other vehicle. The sister's vehicle was discovered on the roadlinking La Tercia to Sucina, and was taken away for examination by the Guardia Civil. No further information over the condition of the assaulted victim was made public or anything else in connection with the incident that happened in a normally quiet part of the Murcia region where serious crime is concerned.

News

Friday 27th May 2016

Rescue First

Double Crash

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A 40-metre long maritime rescue boat, the SAR Mesana, will be docked in Torrevieja over the summer to provide support to emergency rescues; to deal with environmental pollution issues; and to assist the Guardia in anti-smuggling operations. Torrevieja mayor, José Manuel Dolón, said the craft was being supplied by the Public Works Ministry, after the council

successfully showed to the central government that it was a substantial summer population area that did not have such cover in the past. Dolón said the boat would be based at Poniente dock or at one of the city’s marinas, and would also be available to deal with other emergencies at neighbouring coastal municipalities like Guardamar, Santa Pola, and Orihuela.

Truly Coppered

Alex Trelinski

Two Guardia Civil cars collided with each other whilst chasing a burglar in Torrevieja on Sunday afternoon, with the vehicles ending up in a concrete pillar and a tree with one Guardia officer taken to hospital with a fractured shoulder, whilst three of his colleagues were released after being treated for bruises. The drama unfolded as the Guardia got wind of the

fact that a man wanted on outstanding robbery warrants was driving around the Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas area of the city and a number of vehicles were scrambled to arrest him. The two Guardia cars collided at the intersection of Calles María Parodi and Caballero de Rodas with four officers taken to Torrevieja Hospital for treatment. The suspect then had to

Second Time Lucky?

Production Editors Nicola Cross & Mark Nolan

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Patrick Tel. 685 901 265

Writers Alex Trelinski Mark Nolan Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies Nicola Cross

continue his journey on foot as puncture forced him to abandon his car at the junction of Calles María Parodi and Blasco Ibañez. The burglar was eventually arrested inside his home on Calle Corbeta in the Los Locos beach area, and another man was also detained inside the suspect’s house. Guardia sources said that both men offered “strong resistance” to being arrested.

53 Romanians and four Spaniards aged between 16 and 55 years have been arrested by the Guardia Civil under Operation Naidar for stealing 15 tonnes of copper across 20 Spanish provinces including Alicante and Murcia. The gang would steal copper wire from elec-

tric, telephone and railway installations with the Guardia saying that that they have solved 205 crimes, with the crooks selling off 93 thousand kilos of copper just this year alone, which netted them 350 thousand euros. Most of those arrested had existing criminal records.

No Vacancies

Costa Blanca’s hotels are set for a record breaking year after figures showed a nine and half percent rise in bookings in the first four months of 2016, compared to the same period last year. Foreign visitors saw an even bigger increase of 18 percent

according to figures from the National Statistics Institute which clocked a total of over seven million overnight stays between January and April. Hotels in the Murcia region have shown a 10.2 percent rise in bookings over the first four monhs of the year.

Orihuela council has readvertised a two year tender for lifeguard and safety cover for the Orihuela Costa beaches, which is scheduled to start on Wednesday June 15th though council spokesman, Rafael Almagro admitted this week that the contract winner might not to be able to start on that date and that cover may be delayed “for a

A Torre Pacheco mother who tried to claim 100 euros in compensation after her son broke his glasses playing handball at

few days”. It means that the timetable has slipped back at least a fortnight after Orihuela's coastal councillor, Sofía Álvarez, said that the area's beaches would have full lifeguard cover from this Wednesday (June 1st). The two-year contract with Orihuela council is worth 420 thousand euros per annum with cover being supplied for

the 11 beaches of the Orihuela Costa during this and next summer, as well as the Easter holidays in 2017. Nobody bid for the contract earlier in the year with the tender more comprehensive in its demands which included a defibrillator being available at every beach and better disabled access at four beaches namely at La Glea, Cala Bosque, Barranco Rubio and Cala Capitán. Almagro said that changes to the tender document had been made compared to the one issued in February including the facility to use drones in an emergency. Previous franchise holders Ambuibérica SL, were drafted in at the last minute to provide cover during the Easter holidays after nobody bid for the initial contract.

Nice Try school has lost her legal action. The boy's glasses were smashed when the ball hit him in the face during a PE

session at the town’s Fontes. The ruling said that there was no negligence on the part of the school's bosses.

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News

Friday 27th May 2016

Proxy Time

British expats who have been registered to vote in UK within the last 15 years have until a week on Tuesday (June 7th) to apply for a proxy vote in next month’s EU Referendum. The deadline for registering for a postal vote has now passed, but you can still appoint someone you trust in the UK to vote for you.

Simon Manley, British Ambassador to Spain, said: “We all know how important the referendum will be, for us, for our children, and for our country. I would encourage those who have not yet registered to vote, and who are eligible to do so, to avail themselves of this final opportunity to have their say on June 23rd.” The process takes just

five minutes. Go to www.gov.uk/register-tovote or search for ‘UK register to vote’ on www.gov.uk. You need only your National Insurance number and passport. If you did vote in the general election last year, don’t assume you are still on the electoral roll: just as in the UK, you must renew your registration every year.

Stop That Pigeon! A racing pigeon robber was left spitting feathers when some of the birds that he stole flapped their way back to their new home with the Guardia Civil keeping a watchful eye on their final destination. 50 pigeons said to be worth 20 thousand euros were taken from an Alfas del Pi farm with the Guardia Civil arresting a 24year-old man, who climbed over a fence at the finca and took the birds with him. The Guardia called in the Federación de Colombicultura de la Comunidad Valenciana (the Valencian Pigeon Racing Federation) to help them track down the birds that all had the appropriate registration tags on them. As some of the stolen birds were recovered after taking flight, a number were followed through the local skies as they went to their new temporary home, with the Guardia monitoring their flight of fancy and pouncing on the robber, who the pigeons led them to. 13 birds were recovered at the premises and returned to their rightful owner. The motivation of the pigeon snatcher is unknown.

Sour Deal Local lemon prices have doubled in the last year according to the Ministry of Agriculture, with a kilo being sold by farmers to retailers at one euro twenty two cents. Water shortages and increased international competition have caused the price hike, with the Alicante Young Farmers saying that production in the Vega Baja region has collapsed by 40 percent over recent years.

Rural Robbers

Three new pieces of debris thought to be from missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 have been found washed up on Indian Ocean beaches and will be examined in Australia. France's hardline CGT union sought to choke off power and fuel supplies and hamper the country's public transport network on Thursday in a government showdown over labour law reform.

The National Police have rounded up a 16-strong gang that robbed at least 18 farms in the Murcia region and Alcante Province, as well as other parts of Spain. The thiefs targetted the stealing of metal and copper and used a fleet of cars with false number plates to ship

the loot. Most of the robberies were close to the A-7 highway allowing them a quick escape and they would strike in groups of up to eight mainly at night. The National Police say the operation is still open and are investigating another 20 suspects.

Happy Together Over three-quarters of health staff working for Torrevieja Hospital and the health centres ran by Torrevieja Salud say that they are proud to work for the organisations. Over 540 people took part in the survey,

organised by Torrevieja Salud, which showed that 82 percent of the staff enjoyed going to work, and that 70 percent questioned said that they would turn down other similar paid job offers to stay where they are.

The ex-mayor of Torrevieja is threatening to take his successor to court if the opposition Partido Popular don’t get answers to information requests some of which they say were made up to seven months ago.

Eduardo Dolón (pictured) has criticised the lack of transparency shown by José Manuel Dolón’s ruling coalition group who took over from the PP last summer, with the former mayor claiming that 20 requests for information have not been replied to. The local PP boss says that the behaviour of the administration flies against the rights of democratically elected representatives to get fundamental requests answered adding that his party will take legal action if their requests are not listened to.

Dolón Versus Dolón

Swiss boys' refusals to shake female teacher's hand because they said it violated their faith prompt $5,000 fine. Catherine Hall, a history professor at University College London, says her rejection of $300,000 prestigious Israeli award is for political reasons. Armed security forces raided the headquarters of Cambodia's main opposition party and surrounded the car of its No. 2 leader Thursday in an apparent attempt to apprehend him. Russia and the European Union need to build 'an equal and fair dialogue' as partners to overcome their differences, President Vladimir Putin said on the eve of Greece visit. A helicopter on Thursday retrieved the body of a Dutch climber who died last week on Mount Everest while attempts were being made to retrieve the bodies of two other climbers.

Manc’s Choice Thomas Cook has reinstated a twice weekly service between AlicanteElche airport and Manchester as of this week during the high season on a Tuesday and Sunday. The Thomas Cook flights were stopped in 2014, and the company now joins Norwegian, Jet2, Ryanair, Easyjet, Vueling, and Monarch in providing a link to Manchester.

Saved

A 76-year-old woman was saved from drowning at Torrevieja’s Cura beach on Monday afternoon. She was dragged unconcious out of the water before paramedics revived her and then took her to Torrevieja Hospital.

No Arguing A Dutch tourist had his coach journey abruptly terminated at Elche bus station last week when a sniffer dog detected four kilos of marijuana in a small case that been placed in the coach's hold. The man, who was travelling from Malaga to Barcelona confessed at the police station that he was taking the drugs back to Holland with him.

Friday 27th May 2016

Abuse Case Hits Court

A Callosa de Segura equine owner is in an Orihuela court next week facing animal mistreatment charges over two years since a major rescue operation saw 24 hungry and thirsty horses and nine donkeys being removed from his stables by the Guardia Civil. The animals were taken to the Rojales-based Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre, with the donkeys then transferred to the Refugio del Burro association in Malaga. The owner allegedly went bankrupt

and failed to provide his animals with adequate food, water and care. The rescue is believed to be one of the largest in Spain’s history, and was a joint operation involving the Guardia Civil as well as the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre, El Refugio del Burrito, and the National Association for the Defense of Animals. The groups allege the equines were found chained to a wall in a falling down building and were filthy, terrified and literally starving.

Centre co-founder Sue Weeding will be amongst those giving evidence next Thursday which include her costs to date for the rescue and ongoing maintenance of the 14 horses. She said the bill has almost topped 66 thousand euros, including all food and medical costs. “These are horses that are seized by the Guardia and legally put into our care, but we do not receive any public money to look after them,” Sue commented.

Teenage Kicks

A teenager who was under the driving age limit and took his mother’s car out for a spin with his friends had a lot of explaining to do when his the vehicle flipped over in a Torrevieja street last Saturday evening.The 16-year-old boy (18 is the minimum Spanish driving age) was behind the wheel in his mum’s car as it lost control on a bend heading towards Los Locos on Avenida de Alfred Nobel de Torrevieja close to a petrol

station. The car overturned and hit a lamppost into the bargain. No other vehicle was involved in the accident which happened at around 7.30pm, and the only injury was a minor one to the driver's hand. All that is relatively trivial compared to what his mother probably had to say about the matter, as well as the likelihood of a court appearance to look forward to.

Con Men Caught

Breathe Easier A dry but cooler summer compared to 2015 is being predicted by weather experts for the Costa Blanca and Murcia regions. After the warmest and driest winter since records began in the

Valencia region, computer projections from state forecaster AEMET suggest that last year's sizzling summer will not be repeated this time round, but the experts are not prepared to commit to any

exact figures. They have said though that they expect the drought conditions to continue for Alicante Province. which is not good news for the farmers.

Website Makeover

Five Spaniards, including two men in Catral and Alicante City, have been arrested and charged with selling fakebranded sports goods via an internet site. An Alicante-based company called Tendencias Urbanas was created to make the inferior quality copies with 200 packages of the substandard items being sent out every month by the gang, who

used leaflets and the internet to publicise their illegal operation. The Guardia Civil said that the fraud amounted to around 300 thousand euros and that they were alerted to what was going on when representatives from two sports goods companies told them about the copies that were being sold via the gang's website.

Fix It Boss! If watching live streams of Torrevieja council meetings floats your boat, then an upgraded municipal website will take you to political heaven with a whole series of changes launched by new technology councillor, Javier Manzanares. Changes will take place over the next few months with Manzanares keen to emphasise an easy layout for users to find details of services that they need across over 600 pages and that the upgrades are coming at no extra cost to the authority. Site content will also be in several languages including English.

A priest says he has given up hope that authorities in his parish of Xestoso in the northwest of Spain will fix the potholes in the local roads so he has asked for divine intervention. Luis Roldan Patino celebrated Mass on a badly hit road last Sunday and splashed holy water to bless it. Each pothole is now marked with a wooden cross

on the roadside so drivers can slow down before hitting them, he said. Roldan Patino told reporters that "just like we can pray to the Lord for rain" he is pleading for divine intervention to fix the road because "it's going to be the only way to do that." He said the authorities are "blind to the situation and we feel totally abandoned."

News

Friday 27th May 2016

Carriageway Call

Partido Popular mayors in the Vega Baja region have joined forces to call on the Valencian Government to turn the CV-95 road between Orihuela and Torrevieja into a dual carriageway, or to build an entirely new highway connecting the inland Vega Baja area with the coast. The PP bosses of Orihuela, Benejúzar, Redován, Formentera del Segura, San Miguel de Salinas and San Fulgencio met in Orihuela on Monday to make the call for improvements to the CV-95, which goes through Bigastro and San Miguel, before ending

up in the Los Balcones area of Torrevieja. The call will now be put down in a motion from the opposition Partido Popular in the Valencian parliament. Orihuela major Emilio Bascuñana said a better road was a vital priority to the Vega Baja region for improving the economy as opposed to funding the reopening of the regional Canal Nou television services which shut down two and half years ago or subsidising private healthcare. The call for the Socialist/Compromis- led left of centre regional government to do something

about the OrihuelaTorrevieja link comes less that a year since President Ximo Puig formed a governing coalition in Valencia, after ousting the Partido Popular. Under the previous PP government, plans to upgrade the CV-95 were put in and out of budgets since 1995, and an eventual dual carriageway project was awarded in a joint contract between the Valencia administration and the Lubasa company in 2007. It all collapsed due to Lubasa going bankrupt, with nothing further done on the matter by the previous Valencia rulers.

Faker Found

A forger

who

printed

seven thousand euros of

fake 20 and 50 euro notes, as well as a stream of bogus documents has been arrested by the National Police in Hondón de las Nieves . The 46-year-old Belgian man was detained after suspicions were raised on a house sale in the Hondón area back in November with 42 thousand euros of the payment being made in fake 500 euro notes.

Femme Fatal The trial of a Slovakian model accused of shooting dead her British millionaire boyfriend on the Costa Del Sol begun in Malaga this week. Mayka Kukucova, 26, is alleged to have killed Andrew Bush, 48, at his home in Estepona in April, 2014. Bush owned several jewellery stores in Bristol before moving to Spain. Prosecutors allege that Kukucova shot him three times, shortly after they broke up when he returned home with his new Russian girlfriend. They are demand-

Much Better Salamanca Improvement work on one of Santa Pola's main roads is set to start any day now with a break for the high tourist season. The project to enhance the Avenida Salamanca area will include better pavements, signage, lighting and parking, on a route that links the town area to the Gran Playa and Playa Lisa. The works have been budgeted at over 600 thousand euros.

ing a 20 year sentence. Kukocova's lawyer claims that Bush confronted her with a gun, they struggled,

and it went off. She fled to Slovakia after the incident where she handed herself in to authorities.

News

Friday 27th May 2016

Hard Facts Banned imported drugs that claim to improve a man's sexual performance has been seized by the Guardia Civil in raids on sex shops in the Elche and Alicante areas. The unregulated viagra-style medications worth around 30 thousand euros had been shipped in from China and were said by experts to pose a serious health risk.

A Warm Welcome

A massive 97 percent of Spaniards are in favour of taking in refugees from the Middle Eastern war zones, and nearly one in five would happily put them up in their homes, according to Amnesty International’s global survey. The research found that the most refugee-welcoming country was Germany, followed by China and then the UK, with Spain sixth. Whilst fewer Germans, Chinese and Brits were in favour of taking refugees into their countries than Spaniards, the numbers were higher for ‘town’ and ‘neighbourhood’ in these nations than they were for Spain.

Watch Your Speed

Speeding motorists around the Mar Menor are being warned that a car fitted with radar equipment is now on patrol, shared by the San Javier, San Pedro del Pinatar, and Los Alcázares municipal-

ities. The Fiat Ulysse vehicle will also be used to monitor general road safety and is one of a fleet that is being used across the Murcia region by the DGT traffic authority.

Unruly Waves

Rival day trip boat and sea taxi companies offering return journeys to Tabarca island from Santa Pola as well as local charters have come to blows forcing the Guardia Civil to step in on a number of occasions, according to the Informacion newspaper. Restrictions are in force to stop tourists in the area

being bombarded by leaflets promoting the companies and “price-cutting” has been outlawed, but reports suggest that given the competitive nature of the businesses, the rules have been broken with boat company owners and employees resorting to violence and verbal insults against each other.

The Name Game

Daniel and Lucía have become the most names for babies in Spain according to a comprehensive survey from the National Institute of Statistics. The extensive report looked back at the top baby names in Spain for each decade, dating back to before the 1930’s. For most of the last 80 years, Maria for girls and Jose or Antonio for boys had been the top names for babies in Spain. But the last few years has seen a change as between 2010 and 2014, Daniel and Lucia came out ahead of the choices. In Alicante Province, Lucia came top

Elche firefighters were brought in to free the driver of a car involved in a collision with another vehicle on the

for the girls, but Alejandro was the most popular choice for a baby boy just pipping Daniel to the post, with Hugo third. In the Murcia region, Alejandro also ruled the roost for the boys, ahead of Pablo, whilst the top name for the girls was Maria, with Lucia second. Nationally, there were names inspired by footballers like 100 boys born since 2010 called Neymar, after the Barcelona player, and 22 boys born since 2000 are named Zidane after the Real Madrid manager and former player, Zinedine Zidane. The TV

Side Hit

Santa Pola-Elche CV-865 road on Saturday evening. No serious injuries were suffered after the accident was

series Game of Thrones, partly shot in Spain, has led to over 120 girls born since 2010 being named Arya and 22 were named Daenerys after the Dragon Queen. Very ‘elderly’ names, now rare and in danger of extinction, include Progreso, Frumencio and Eusiquicio for men, who would be aged on average about 76; and for women, the most ancient names are Prepedigna and Afrodisia, the holders of which would typically be aged 82; followed by Parmenia, aged 80 and Fraternidad aged 79.

caused by a car apparently turning into the road from a side route and not noticing an oncoming vehicle.

Shocking State Los Montesinos mayor José Manuel Butrón is under fire from two opposition parties on the council over the state of the local football field and for restricting discussion on various matters that opposing councillors want to raise. The PSOE-Socialist administration has been criticised by the local Independent AIMS party for having done nothing about the state of the municipal football field and sports centre. Maria Paredes of AIMS says that the council has had 360 thousand euros in grants from the Alicante Provincial Council for 18 months and has not spent the money.

The sole Partido Popular representative on the Montesinos council, Pascual Simón, has attacked the mayor for only allowing two of his tabled nine motions to be debated at the next plenary session of the council with matters

like improving emergency services as well as an idea for recording and streaming council meetings via the internet. Simón said that the council’s government team were not listening to the many needs of local residents.

Tony Mayes - About Life

Friday 27th May 2016

Stop Letting Them Out! Many years ago, under the Thatcher regime, increased numbers of people suffering a degree of mental illness were released from secure or semi-secure places - it was called care in the community. Critics suggested it was more about saving money rather than any actual consideration for those suffering mental illness, and I take the view that the trend to release into the community people who have mental problems has gone far too far. Today

there are more things that can tip a person from being rational to becoming out of control. We all know the effects of drinking too much alcohol, and medical conditions like bi-polar or schizophrenia have always been with us. But sanity goes out of the window by drug misuse and there's a huge array of legal and illegal drugs or highs available used by folk who are have their brains pickled. You just don't know today, when you walk down

the street or go shopping, that a person next to you is a thought away from being a killer. Those unfortunate women shoppers who went to Sainsbury's superstore in Harrow last week didn't know how much at risk they were. A man who had appeared before magistrates accused of possessing a knife, was allowed out on bail, but a short time later he was stabbing women at random - one suffering life-threatening

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Up, George? I was delighted to hear Chancellor George Osborne claim last week that it Britain exits the EU, property prices in the UK could (note the word could again) come down by up to 18 percent. Now wouldn't that be wonderful? It would mean that many thousands of would-be first time buyers priced out of the market could actually afford to get a roof over their heads. And those ex-pats

who want to sell up and go back to Britain but can't afford to buy a home, might be able to. Of course Osborne qualifies it by saying that an exit from Europe would damage the UK economy, cutting jobs, holding down wages, reducing pay, raising interest rates and creating all manner of tribulation. On the Brexit side the argument is that cutting

immigration and ridding Britain of illegals would cut demand for housing and bring down prices. So, it seems there's a win-win either way. But wait a minute...didn't Osborne say interest rates might rise? Now wouldn't that be good those savings you've had earning next to nothing might be worth something again. Makes you think, doesn't it!

injuries. Was a thorough medical assessment carried out on him he was given bail? I very much doubt it. We're caught between an ever increasing demand to save money - and keeping people in prison costs a lot and the pathetic demands from do-gooders who won't be happy until no-one is ever locked up. Then we had a fool scaling the high wall at Buckingham Palace and running amok for more than ten minutes before being caught.

This man had recently been released from prison having served time for murder. He was jailed for a further four months for trespass but no doubt he will be back out of prison in two months and who knows what crazy things he will do next? People who are at any risk to the public should never be allowed out unsupervised. Quite clearly this trespasser who repeatedly asked "Is Ma'am in?" is a nut case. The man who went on a stabbing

spree was on bail for possession of a knife in public. Anyone carrying a knife carries it for the purpose of using it if provoked or in the pursuit of crime, and should never be granted bail pending trial. If Britain needs to spend loads more money locking up people who are a threat to society then so be it - the money could come from the huge fortune Britain keeps sending abroad in aid or on the fortune it hands over to the EU.

I've been attracting more attention from women recently than arguably I have had all the rest of my life. If only it was for my toned body, fantastic looks or sparkling wit, but no, it is all down to my wallet! I recently wrote about two women who blocked my path in a shop while on holiday in Lloret, with a third lady coming close behind me, unzipping my manbag and stealing my wallet. It was almost more of the same

locally, this time at Lumsden's Auctions near Formentera. Two or three women walked behind me and I felt one attempting to take my wallet from my trouser pocket. But it was a very slight movement and I could easily have failed to notice. I turned around and she did a very clever act, pretending to be unsteady on her feet and stumbling against me. I thought for a moment it was genuine, asked if she was alright and she nodded. I

thought no more of it until members of the auction staff asked whether the women had got my wallet. Much more needs to be done to catch these low-lifes. If Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been done twice think of the countless other folk in Spain who must be victims too. One answer could be for police to recruit some pensioners to walk around looking as vulnerable as possible to catch the lowlife redhanded!

Ladies Love Me

Very Smooth Ride

A busy San Miguel de Salinas road that is used by many motorists as a link to and from the coast is to have around 120 thousand euros of new surfacing. The project , paid for by the Alicante Provincial Council and San Miguel council, will see improvements made to the Ronda Oeste from the Juan XXIII roundabout up to the junction with the CV-941, which takes drivers to and from the Campoamor urbanisation.

Vegan Voice Protest

Animal rights demonstrators from the AnimaNaturalis group staged their annual graphic demonstration in Barcelona last Sunday, and this time they decided to wrap themselves up as “human meat” The protest against the production and consumption of meat, featured group members covering their naked bodies in fake blood and packaging themselves up as meat products on supermarket shelves.

Friday 27th May 2016

Fag End Spain

Spain has been ordered by European Commission bosses to implement European Union laws that all cigarette packets should be sold as unbranded. Spain is one of a handful of European Union member countries that had not implemented plans to introduce the changes by last Friday's deadline. Spain’s health ministry has responded by saying that it is working to ensure

the implementation is ‘ready as soon as possible’ but that to do so would ‘require legislative changes which cannot be dealt with now’, given that the country only has an acting government. Besides the issue of plain cigarette packing, the aims of the EU directive include reducing the number of people who smoke by encouraging them to give up or not to start in the

first place, dissuading teenagers and very young adults from taking up the habit, and ensuring everyone is fully aware of the dangers involved. It covers rules on the manufacturing, production and presentation of cigarettes, loose ‘roll-your-own’ tobacco, pipe tobacco, chewing tobacco, electronic or E-cigarettes, and herb-based products designed to be ‘smoked’.

Sharp Shock A kitesurfer who was travelling up the coast from Pilar de la Horadada to Torrevieja got a shock recently after being speared through his ankle by a fish at Cabo Roig. Marcos Gomez Mora felt a sharp pain to his ankle and discovered that he had made contact with a

garfish, a type of fish also called a sea needle for a razor-like protruding jaw, which had broken off after piercing the kitesurfer’s ankle. After struggling to shore, the kitesurfer was taken to hospital where the jaw was removed.

Expensive Lies

A man accused of lying during an emergency call to get authorities to his house quickly faces a fine of up to 600,000 euros. A police spokesman in the northeastern town of Catalayud said that the man had reported that his two daughters were locked inside a car, whilst the truth was that his two cats were locked inside his house. A complaint has now been filed against the unidentified man after he admitted inventing the story for a quicker response time. False calls leading to emergency services deployment in Aragon, carry fines between 150 thousand to 600 thousand euros.

Sand Shifters

54 thousand euros is be spent by Pilar de la Horadada council on the annual task of replacing sand that has been eroded around the area’s four mile stretch of beaches. The sand is taken from the harbour, and the transported to the various beaches in the municipality.

A study from Alicante University published two years ago says that it would cost up to three million euros to build a series of dykes to maintain the quality of the Pilar area’s sandy beaches, but no money has been forthcoming from the Environment Ministry for a project to go ahead.

Beetle Drive

Local councils in Alicante Province have ten days left to put in applications for grants of up to 33 thousand euros to help restore woods and forests affected by the drought and

diseases caused by pests like beetles. The money, with a total budget of 100 thousand euros, has been made available by the Alicante Provincial Council.

Bulls Banned

The killing of bulls at a festival has been banned in what animal rights activists have hailed as a major victory in their campaign to stop traditionally cruel events. The decision was taken by the regional government of Castile and León to stop killings at the annual Toro de la Vega festival in the town of

Tordesillas, and other similar events, in the area. The Toro de la Vega festival, held in September, has become a focus for protests by animal rights activists who consider it gruesome where bulls are killed with spears after being pursued on foot and horseback.

Friday 27th May 2016

Sad Find

A homeless woman rummaging through a rubbish bin discovered a six-month old fetus of a stillborn baby girl in the town of Callosa d'En Sarrià in Alicante Province. The unexpected find was made last Friday evening when the woman went searching in the

container to look for food and came across a plastic bag with the body in it. Authorities in Villajoyosa are to use DNA samples and fingerprint records to try to track down the baby's mother, with autopsy results revealing on Monday that the baby was stillborn.

Stags Grounded A Benidorm-bound stag 'do' for a groom and two friends didn't even get off the ground as the three men were thrown off a Ryanair plane last week for being 'drunk and abusive'. The captain of the Ryanair flight called police when he became worried about the behaviour of the stag party on board the aircraft at Manchester Airport's Terminal 3 - just minutes before it was set to taxi away from the stand for take-off to Alicante-Elche airport. Officers boarded the packed Boeing 737800 and removed the stag and two of his mates.

Bird Idea

Illegal Chopping

San Pedro del Pinatar is to target British bird lovers and environmentalists to Vandals who destroyed half a dozen pine trees are being sought by Pilar de la Horadada council and the municipality's local police. Six felled Pino Carrasco trees were found in

the Pinar de Campoverde area, with the criminal actions potentially costing the vandals hefty fines of up to fifteenhundred euros per tree if they are brought to justice.

"They were being abusive so police were called”, a passenger told the Daily Mail. A spokesman for Greater Manchester Police said three men from a stag

boost local tourism with Murcia’s tourist minister, Isabel Borrego (pictured

party were 'off-loaded' after complaints they were being 'drunk and abusive'. The flight arrived an hour late at Alicante-Elche airport.

right), being briefed on the campaign on a recent visit to the town’s Las Salinas centre. San Pedro’s 'Paraíso Salado’ campaign is aimed at showcasing what the area has to offer for many visitors who are interested in flora and fauna, with Borrego suggesting that San Pedro ought to be represented at the annual Birdfair that is staged every August in Rutland, and attracts representatives from the Andalucia Tourist Board.

Loads Of Rubbish

Two container-loads of rubbish that had been dumped in the sea, which included a supermarket

trolley, were brought to shore by a four-strong diving team in the waters of Torrevieja's Los Náufragos beach on

Saturday. The clear-up was done at first light to avoid disturbing swimmers later in the day.

Naranja Nickers

Three Spaniards have been arrested by the Guardia Civil and charged with stealing oranges from farms on the MurciaAlicante Province border. The men, from the village of Cabezo de Torres, would plunder fincas in the Santomera and Orihuela areas, with a Guardia patrol stopping two vehicles belonging to the gang which had a tonne of oranges covered by blankets in each of them.

Safe And Well

A 16-year-old Torrevieja girl who went missing last Friday was found in an empty La Mata holiday apartment complex with her 21-year old boyfriend on Tuesday. The man was arrested by the Guardia Civil for breaking the conditions of a restraining order, after she had previously denounced him for alleged abuse.

Friday 27th May 2016

News & Local

Time Running Out for Windows Upgrade

Windows computers users may well have got used to ignoring a pop-up notification advising them to upgrade to Windows 10, but time is now running out for genuine

licensed software owners to upgrade for free. Microsoft has now revealed the price to upgrade to their most modern operating system once the qualify-

On The Right Road

A full house at the monthly meeting of the Orihuela Costa branch of the Royal British Legion got to learn about driving on Spanish roads and some of the problems experienced by expat drivers thanks to a talk by the N332 team of Francisco Morales and Mark Nolan. Mark touched on the subject of how to identify an unmarked police car due to the increasing numbers of crimes committed by people pretending to be Guardia Civil officers in bogus traffic stops. Other matters and he tackled

included distraction theft as well as vehicle documents, footwear, warning triangles and the need for proper safety for passengers, pets and loads. Also at the Olympia Restaurant in Mil Palmeras was Nicholas Bradford, with the ex-West Midland traffic policeman presented with a token of appreciation for his help with the N332 project, and C.L.A.R.O. President, Paul Piccio, who attended the event as part of his brief to find out more about local groups across the Orihuela Costa.

ing period for upgrades is over, and if you don´t upgrade before 29th July you will face a cost of around 100 euro for the basic software package, as well as the

potential cost of getting an engineer to help you upgrade. Windows 10 was launched last year and has so far been installed on over 300 million devices, largely due to Microsoft´s offer to customers running genuine copies of Windows 7, Windows 8 and Windows 8.1 the chance to upgrade to the latest operating system for free. Now, Yusuf Mehdi, Corporate Vice President for Windows and Devices Group at Microsoft has made it quite clear that “Time is running out”, issuing a video explaining how “The free upgrade offer will end on July 29th and we want to make sure you don’t miss out.” After the expiry date on the offer has been reached, Microsoft will charge you $119 – or £99 – for a full version of Windows 10 Home,

Showtime Postponed

The New Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group have had to postpone their Showtime production due to be performed on the 23rd and 24th June 2016 at San Fulgencio’s Cardenal Belluga Theatre due to the resignation of the show’s director. Group chairman Tom Ford said: - “Rehearsals for the show had been running well,

and those who bought tickets will be refunded. The cast are very upset about the situation as they had put a lot of time into it, but we are hoping to stage Showtime in October if we can find a new show director and some extra talented members”. No reason for the show director’s resignation was given.

Farewell Jennifer

Alzheimer’s Boost Just over one thousand euros was put into the coffers of the Alzheimer’s Association in San Fulgencio, thanks to a recent fundraising night at the Restaurante El Alto La Dolores in Guardamar. It was a sell-out evening with entertainment provided by Woody, with the restaurant owners donating a Mediterranean Cruise as first prize in the raffle which was

won by Brenda O’Grady from Dona Pepa, Rojales. The next fund-raiser at the venue will be a BBQ on Saturday June 25th in aid of Elche Children's Home, with some of the children and workers from the Home coming along. Entertainment will come from Lee Howard. Tickets at 10 euros are on sale at the Restaurant; The Card Place in Benimar; and REDZ cafe bar in Quesada.

It was a sad but fond farewell to the Cantabile Ladies choir musical director Jennifer Morton, with two concerts to complete the choir’s spring programme. The ladies performed at Torrevieja Casino at the start of the month, and then it

was the final curtain for Jennifer, after ten years in charge, at a concert at La Siesta church in Torrevieja. As Jennifer returns to the UK, her replacement comes from within the choir’s ranks, as treasurer Valerie Beange takes over.

whereas Windows 10 Pro will set you back $199 or £130. You can of course carry out the upgrade yourself right now for free by downloading a helpful tool from Microsoft which guides you through the set up process. Before doing so, you probably want to make sure that you have backed up all of your software, documents, photographs, in fact everything you might not want to risk losing, in case anything goes wrong during the installation. In most cases, nothing does go wrong, but it is better to be safe than sorry when you consider what you might lose. You may need to enlist the help of an expert with the back-ups and upgrade process. The engineer can

not only ensure that your data is protected, they can install your free upgrade and even give your computer a software and physical spring clean, especially important as we approach the summer. If you have any doubts, contact the guys at The Computer Shop in San Luis (opposite the Chicken Shack) where the qualified Microsoft engineers have been installing Windows 10 on machines since last year. Just call 966 262 830 or email office@thecomputershop.es and they can look at your computer and instantly recommend a personalised course of action to ensure your computing stays trouble free. But do it today, as, in the words of Microsoft, time really is running out!

Rose’s Special Role

It’s less than a week to go before Studio 32’s production of “Fiddler on the Roof” hits the stage of San Fulgencio’s Cardenal Belluga theatre, and Friday night’s show (June 3rd) has sold out. Tickets are available for Wednesday June 1st, plus the Thursday and Saturday evening performances with reserved nine euro tickets available from Philip on 0034 642 080 258, or

tickets@studiothirtytwo.org Curtain up on each evening is at 7.30pm. Studio 32 is once again supporting the Alzheimer’s society, and profits will be donated to AFA San Fulgencio and other local charities. The leading lady role of Golde is being played by Rose Maclean, which achieves a personal ambition for her as the story is close to her heart since she grew up developing a love of musicals from her father, who took her to see the film of “Fiddler on the Roof” when it was released. At the beginning of the Second World War, Rose’s father was forced to flee his homeland of Poland, leaving behind family and friends to start a new life in the UK.

Friday 27th May 2016

Pets

Friday 27th May 2016

Fighting Mozzies And Heartworm

Helping A.P.A.H.

The Asociacion Protectora De Animales Horadada (A.P.A.H.) became a registered association in 2000, and they get no official funding. They carry on their work through money raised in our their charity shops in Pilar de la Horadada, San Miguel de Salinas, and San Pedro del Pinatar as well as donations and fund raising events which includes a Fun Quiz which is staged on the last Monday every month at Bar Las Rosas in San Miguel, starting at 3.00pm. A good atmosphere is guaranteed as an enjoyable way of spending the afternoon,

with the next quiz coming up this Monday (May 30th). All of the A.P.A.H. dogs are micro-chipped, vaccinated and neutered (when old enough), any rescued by the charity are never euthanised, unless they are advised by a vet that they have no other option. If a rescued animal cannot find a new home, then as long as A.P.A.H. exists, it will always be looked after by the charity, which so far has re-homed up to two thousand cats and dogs. The APAH contact numbers are on 630 422 63 or 616 210 850 if you are willing to help them in any way.

Along with the arrival of warm and humid summer days in Spain comes an ever-present annoyance mosquitoes. Although your dog’s fur or hair offers some protection against mosquito bites, he is still vulnerable in places where his skin is exposed, for example, his ears and nose. As with humans, a bite from a mosquito can result in everything from an annoying itch to more serious parasitic diseases. In dogs, heartworm disease is the primary concern, but there are many things that you can do. Heartworm disease. Heartworm disease is a serious parasitic condition caused by a worm, Dirofilaria immitis, which lives in the blood vessels and heart of infected pets. The disease is spread by mosquitoes. When an infected dog is bitten by a mosquito, the blood that is withdrawn can contain heartworm offspring. When the mosquito bites a second dog, the offspring are

passed through. Inside the host, the heartworm can grow into a parasite up to a foot in length. The parasite can cause injury to the lungs, arteries and the heart. Symptoms include: • Lethargy • Coughing • Vomiting • Difficulty breathing • Fainting • Exercise intolerance These symptoms are also associated with other canine diseases so diagnosis can be difficult. Often, a blood test is required to confirm the diagnosis. Treatments are available but prevention and mosquito control are most important. Vets here in Spain offer an annual heartworm injection as a matter of course. Mosquito control. The likelihood of mosquito bites can be minimised by these preventative measures to reduce the risks for your pets. Crucially go for a combination of a special dog collar from a company like Scalibor which controls the infestations of ticks,

mosquitoes and flies for up to six months, and use it in tandem from now until the late autumn with drops from a firm like Advantix. Also:• Remove sources of stagnant water around the house and garden. Mosquitoes breed and thrive in standing water. • Change water bowls frequently. • Avoid walking your dog in marshy places. • Fit windows and doors of your home with screens to prevent mosquitoes from entering. • Use insect repellants with caution. Products with DEET are not recommended for cats and dogs and many repellants with essential oils have not been tested for effectiveness or safety. • Keep your pets inside, especially in the early morning and early evening, when mosquitoes are most active. The less exposure your animals have to mosquitoes, the less likely they are to be bitten.

BITE TREATMENT Treat bites on the ears and nose with an antibacterial cream to keep them from becoming infected. See your vet if the bites do not heal or appear to be getting worse. No Problem! Prevention is always better than cure and a combination of an annual heartworm injection from your vet along with using a couple of products over a sixmonth period, should mean that you furry friend will have no problems during the long hot Spanish summer.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

BEAU

CHICO

BLANCA

CHRISTIE

JIMMY

Beau and her siblings were rescued by APAH when they were puppies. Some of the family have been lucky to find loving homes, but sadly some of them have spent their whole life in a kennel environment. They are quite large dogs, so they need someone who can give them the exercise they need or a large, secure outside area. To arrange to meet the family please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Chico was found wandering the streets and in need of love, care and attention. He is a gorgeous looking 10 month old dog who is currently being looked after in a home with lots of cats and another dog. He is very sociable and will stay small, even when he reaches his full size. To learn more about Chico, please telephone PEPA on 650 304 746 or send an email to p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

Blanca is heading towards her seventh birthday and is a Pointer/Staffy cross. She is a friendlly and fun loving girl who mixes well with other dogs. She likes people and is obedient, but needs a little training as she pulls on the lead when walking. She does love to play with her toys and balls, which she chases if given a chance. For more on Blanca, please call K9 on 600 845 420.

Christie came into the care of SAT animal rescue along with her two-year-old son when their owner was no longer able to look after them. She is a small four-year-old crossbreed who is gentle and loving. Christie is fully vaccinated, micro chipped and spayed. If you think you could give her the life she deserves then please contact the SAT kennels, 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Jimmy was found wandering in a small town and is now looking for a home of his own. He is a lovely natured friendly dog who is now fostered with other dogs and cats. Jimmy is about one year old and is now healthy, vaccinated and blood-tested clear. If you can offer Jimmy a home please call PEPA on 650 304 746 or send them an email for details to p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

KITTENS Mandy and Garfield are two beautiful two month old kittens that were found in the middle of a busy road near the N332. They are all in excellent health and ready for new homes. If you think you could give a home to these gorgeous girls, or any of the other pets looking for a home, then please call 645 469 253 or visit the website. www.petsinspain.com, where you can find out more.

Friday 27th May 2016

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI

US shows like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead rightly get the plaudits and publicity which they deserve but there are plenty of American “sleeper” dramas that are great in their own way though they quietly trundle along with little or no hype. Take Bates Motel (on the UK Universal Channel) which has updated the old Psycho tale to the present and features the talented British actor, Freddie Highmore (soon to star in the latest Stephen Poliakoff production for the BBC) as Norman Bates and Vera Farmiga as his equally nutty mum, Norma. They sizzle on the screen in this wonderfully over the top show that is totally gripping and will come to an end with series five next year. Get the box sets out for this and you will not be disappointed by the twists and turns and all of life's car crashes. Another “sleeper” recommendation is Banshee which has just started its final run on Sky Atlantic, with the graphic nature of the violence as close to Quentin Tarantino that you will ever see on the small

Try A Super Sleeper

screen and it makes Peaky Blinders look like a Teddy Bear's picnic. I hope there's a happy ending for our thief turned small town sheriff as he takes on the bad guys coming at him from all directions in what is very much a homage to the Tarantino movies with a liberal lashing of black humour to boot. If it's words you are after,

I'm impressed so far with the new drama, Billions, also airing on Sky Atlantic. From the US Showtime channel, it's about a battle between a ruthless asset stripper and buyer/speculator played by Damien Lewis (who is a bigger name in America than in Britain) and a state prosecutor portrayed by Paul Giamatti who is

equally ruthless in trying to bring him down and not afraid to bend the rules himself. It's the Lewis and Giamatti show as the macho men slog it out, and Billions only flounders when neither of them is on screen. ITV's annual bonanza May week has struck gold again over the last few days with the nightly Britain's Got

Talent and Coronation Street match- up delivering again, both in terms of good entertainment and high audience ratings. What a downer tonight then that ahead of tomorrow's BGT final, ITV have to fulfill their contractual obligation to the Football Association this evening by screening England's friendly against

Australia. I'm sure that I can see paint drying somewhere! If Paul Merton or Ian Hislop ever decided to call it quits for BBC 1's Have I Got News For You, I'd just pick up the phone and get regular guest panellist Ross Noble in on a weekly basis. He was hilarious last Friday and produced the line of the week when he said to guest host Gary Lineker: “You're crisps are s—t!” Don't worry if you were left up in the air by The X Files finale in February on Channel Five. The show is definitely coming back: in winter 2018!! Not so long to wait though for series three of Fargo, screened on Channel Four, with 2017 pencilled in and Ewan McGregor as the new star earning his fee by playing two characters. I'm also delighted to say as a big fan of The Good Wife, which ends in a few weeks time on More Four, that CBS are creating a new spinoff for next year with some key characters returning. The cynic in me also says that there's plenty of good money still to be earnt from the franchise!

Friday 27th May 2016

The British Soap Awards 2016

Sunday – ITV The British Soap Awards returns to celebrate another mammoth year in soap opera, looking back on twelve months of murder, mystery, make ups, break ups, trials, tribulations and tears. An incredible year in which Kathy Beale returned from the dead on EastEnders, Callum Logan met his maker on Coronation

Street, the glove handed killer continued her reign in Hollyoaks, the Summer fete in Emmerdale changed lives forever and Doctors celebrated their 3000th episode with an hour long special. The 18th annual awards will be broadcast on Sunday from London´s Hackney Empire Theatre. They will honour the nation’s biggest and best-loved TV shows, as

Saturday – BBC One In war-torn France and with the odds against them, D’Artagnan, Porthos and Athos go into battle with the Spanish, while Aramis battles his conscience at the nearby monastery. When the evil Lucien Grimaud brings the war to Aramis’ new home, the former

friends reunite to foil a stolen arms deal and rescue a group of war orphans. After four years and vowing to never fight again, is Aramis still a Musketeer at heart? Meanwhile in Paris, a sinister new battle awaits in the form of the corrupt Governor, Philippe Feron, bastard brother of Louis XIII.

well as the stars that have appeared in this year’s most talked about storylines. The five biggest soaps Coronation Street, Doctors, EastEnders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks - will be battling it out to win recognition for their work over the past year. Stars from all five soaps will be hitting the red carpet for the most star-studded event in the soap calendar.

The Musketeers

Hosted by Phillip Schofield, the awards will be presented by an array of wellknown faces from across the TV and showbiz world. The British Soap Awards recognise outstanding achievement in the country’s most popular television genre. There are 15 awards voted for either by both the public and a panel of expert judges.

Top Gear

Sunday – BBC Two The wait is nearly over! Top Gear returns to your screens on 29 May.

At last, Sunday nights can return to normal then. Chris Evans and Matt LeBlanc are joined by Motorsport guru and

Formula 1 commentator Eddie Jordan, world recordbreaking German racing driver Sabine Schmitz, renowned motoring journalist and YouTube petrolhead Chris Harris, and car reviewer and TV presenter Rory Reid. They have filmed in nine countries over eight months, racking up over 7,500 miles between them. And as the trailers have shown, high-octane and spectacular stunts are what’s in

store: an Ariel Nomad jumping through the Moroccan desert, a Dodge Viper racing in Nevada USA, oh and Chris Evans and Matt Le Blanc in some Reliant Rialtos… in a rainy Blackpool. And the Stig is back in action on the Top Gear track, plus a whole lot more. Join Chris, Matt, the team and of course, the Stig, alongside celebrity guests for the eagerly awaited return of Top Gear.

Britain's Got Talent – The Final

Saturday – ITV The tenth series of Britain’s Got Talent comes to a close this weekend with its spectacular live finale. After a series which has seen the good, the bad, the weird and the wonderful and has showcased the best talent on offer from singers and magicians to dancers and comedians, tonight the final acts go head-to-head as they try to capture the public’s hearts and votes. The lucky winner will be

crowned the 10th champion of Britain’s Got Talent, securing a life changing cash prize of £250,000 and a spot at this year’s Royal Variety Performance. Tonight also sees a celebration of 10 years of the show with a special ‘Best of Britain’s Got Talent’ performance put together by Diversity’s own Ashley Banjo. Who will be crowned the winner? It’s over to Britain to decide.

Myleene Klass: Single Mums on Benefits

Heathrow: Britain's Busiest Airport

Monday – ITV A new season of the documentary series that goes behind-the-scenes at Britain’s biggest and busiest international airport, Heathrow, starts on Monday. The first episode explores the unexpected divisions of Heathrow such as their own dedicated police force, paramedics and animal reception centre. Airline employees face the common dilemma of missing passengers on a departing flight and search through the departure lounge before they incur large penalties. Air traffic controllers attempt to ensure a smooth run of departures and arrivals which occur every 45 seconds. PC’s Claire and Steve

cooperate with airport staff to detain two individuals attempting to board flights who are wanted for arrest. While Heathrow’s security officers share an interesting insight into the obstacles they face when searching 200,000 carry-on bags a day. Veteran Demi assists new Terminal Manager Callum as they manage a major weather disruption at the airport during one of their busiest weeks of the year. The airside safety team are on high alert as more than 50 flights are cancelled, and the added pressure of ensuring safe departures and arrivals falls to them as the pilots struggle to conduct basic manoeuvres. Heathrow’s own vets show

us the strict regulations they must abide by when allowing animals into the country as two dogs from Kenya are eager to be reunited with their owner as she relocates back to the UK. A look at the Emirates Premium Lounge shows no expense is spared in ensur-

ing customer satisfaction with countless bottles of champagnes as passengers have spent up to fourteen times the price of economy flights. While in Heathrow’s cargo warehouse, an extravagant delivery is being prepared for a flight to the USA.

Britain & Europe: For Richer Or Poorer? Tuesday – BBC Two This summer, the UK faces a momentous choice: are we in or out of the European Union? As the vote nears, the BBC’s Political Editor Laura Kuenssberg tackles the big questions at the heart of the debate: would we be richer or poorer as a nation if we left, and what are the costs and benefits of staying in? She will talk to leading politicians and business big hitters on both sides, and set out to discover what

leaving would really mean for trade and jobs, for red tape and the pound in your pocket. She will set out the facts about the UK's contribution to the EU budget as well as the rebate – and she will take the debate to the public about whether we’re better off in or out. The EU referendum is set to shape our future as a nation: this film is your impartial, indispensable guide to a decision which matters to us all.

Tuesday – ITV “When I became a mum I remember thinking, ‘This is an amazing job and I finally understand what my mum went through.’ ...And then you become a single mum and you just think, ‘Oh my God, I’m gonna have to find superpowers here ‘cause there’s just not enough hours in the day.’” - Myleene Klass In this new documentary for ITV, Myleene Klass investigates the truth about single mums who receive benefits and asks whether it really is a life of Riley, or a life on the breadline. Myleene, who is never far from the public eye as a TV presenter and performer, considers being one of Britain’s two million single parents to be her most important job. Raising her two girls Ava and Hero alone was never her plan, and she struggles with a stigma she feels is still attached to her single mother status. She meets a teenage mother and compares notes with a group of single dads. She interviews an older mum who chose to

have her children alone, and has an emotional meeting with a single father who had no choice after tragically losing his wife. In this programme, she hopes to uncover why single mums feel like they get such a hard time. She says: “When I read the headlines about single mums on benefits, living the high life, refusing to work, it makes me, like everyone else, furious. These stories do nothing to help the image of single parents everywhere, leaving [us] all feeling tarred with the same brush. So I want to find out the truth behind the headlines and meet the mums that some say are giving us all a bad name.” Having met a range of individuals across the spectrum of single parenthood, Myleene says: ”I can hand on my heart say I have reassessed how I feel about being a single mum, I used to be afraid of the term ‘single mum’, I felt like I had failed my children and now I feel like I have ownership of the words single mum and I’m really proud of it.”

Friday 27th May 07:00 Flog it! Trade Secrets 07:30 Council House Crackdown 08:15 Family Finders 09:00 Into the Wild with Gordon Buchanan 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Pressure Pad 14:45 A Taste of Britain 15:30 The TV That Made Me 16:00 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 16:45 The Coffee Trail with Simon Reeve 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 20:30 Chelsea Flower 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Show Sophie and Joe Eggheads 19:30 Countryfile place the future of garden- Spring Diaries ing under the spotlight 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 EastEnders Ian Charles and Margie set off struggles to come to terms from Nottingham, competing with everything that has to make the most money at happened auction

07:00 Breakfast 10:30 Council House Crackdown 11:15 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Family Finders 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 For What It’s Worth 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Chelsea Flower Show 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

21:30 Would I Lie to You? Two teams have to try and make the other team believe their crazy stories

21:00 Chelsea Flower Show Monty Don and Joe Swift round up some of the events from the 2016 RHS Chelsea Flower Show

22:00 Have I Got News for You Regular team captains 22:00 The World’s Biggest Paul and Ian are joined by Flower Market The story of guest host Katherine Ryan how the flowers we buy travel across the world via 22:30 Love, Nina Nina has Aalsmeer Flower Auction in trouble keeping track of the boys, which leads to an Holland to reach us every awkward conversation and day in pristine condition an even more uncomfort23:00 Mum 23:30 able date at the local pub Newsnight 00:05 No Such 23:00 News 23:35 The Thing as the News 00:35 Graham Norton Show Artsnight 01:05 Later with Holland 02:05 00:20 Witless 00:50 Film - I Jools Love You, Man (15) 02:30 Question Time 03:05 Louis Weather for the Week Theroux 04:05 This is BBC Two Ahead 02:35 News

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Holly’s life hangs in the balance 20:30 International Football Live: England v Australia Mark Pougatch presents all the action from the friendly match, which takes place at the Stadium of Light in Sunderland and serves as a Euro 2016 warm-up for England. Roy Hodgson’s side breezed through their qualifying group for this summer’s tournament in France, winning all 10 of their games to finish as the only country with a 100 per cent record. The manager will be hoping his squad can continue that excellent form at the finals, and will also be looking for a strong performance in this match against Ange Postecoglou’s men. Kick Off 20:45 23:15 News 23:55 International Football Highlights 01:00 Murder, She Wrote 01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, She Wrote 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will and Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Undercover Boss Canada 12:30 Four in a Bed 13:00 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 Fifteen to One 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Shipping Wars 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:30 Travel Man: 48 Hours in Paris Richard Ayoade goes hurtling through a ruthlessly efficient maxi mini-break in Paris with presenter and comedian Mel Giedroyc 21:00 George Clarke’s Amazing Homes on Wheels George recalls the impressive works of engineering people have achieved with their vehicles - from the scrap Learjet turned into a luxury garden studio to the restoration of the only surviving British mobile cinema truck 22:00 Gogglebox The nation’s favourite armchair critics share their opinions on what they have been watching during the week 23:00 The Windsors 23:35 Very British Problems 00:35 Rude Tube 01:35 Film - Psycho (15) 03:25 Flowers 03:55 Random Acts 04:20 Location, Location, Location

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 News 13:15 Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Fatal Honeymoon 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Cricket: England v Sri Lanka Mark Nicholas introduces highlights of the first day of the Second Test from the Riverside in Durham where England play Sri Lanka. Commentary comes from Geoffrey Boycott, Michael Vaughan and Simon Hughes 21:00 Kitten’s Got Talent Compilation of clips posted on the internet featuring cats performing physical feats or demonstrating lightning reactions, sporting and athletic skills, super intelligence or bravery 22:00 Ant and Dec: Their Story Documentary exploring the success of Geordie boys Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly. The programme charts their rise from child stars to pop stars, from BBC to ITV, from Byker Grove to Saturday Night Takeaway and from little-known actors to Britain’s best-loved TV personalities 23:30 Britain’s Best Loved Double Acts 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:45 Wildlife SOS

DON´T MISS

SOAPS In Emmerdale Pete discovers heroin that Holly dropped and calls her, but he panics to realise that she’s in a bad way. Pete enlists Ross’s help and they manage to find Holly,

Later, Moira is shocked to hear that Holly has been taken to hospital and Cain is guilty about deleting the voice message. Ross stands up for Pete

07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Where the Heart Is 09:25 The Royal 10:25 Judge Judy 11:50 Murder, She Wrote 12:55 Sherlock Holmes 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart Is 17:10 In Loving Memory 17:45 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Wycliffe 00:00 The Knock 01:15 Cold Blood 02:35 Long Lost Family 03:25 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views 05:10 George and Mildred 06:05 Judge Judy 06:45 ITV3 Nightscreen

07:00 Motorway Patrol 07:30 Minder 08:30 The Chase 09:30 Fifth Gear 10:30 Live French Open Tennis 22:00 World Series of Darts: Dubai 01:00 Police Academy 03:00 Tommy Cooper 03:35 Movies Now 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

Documentary celebrating muchloved duo Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly, who in a career already spanning more than 25 years, have conquered almost every part of the TV schedules, from anarchic children’s programmes to some of the biggest shows, including the Queen’s recent birthday celebrations. Contributors include friends, fans and some of the celebrities who have fallen foul of the duo’s trademark tricks, or actually found fame through their formats.

but they fear she’s dead.

ITV3

ITV4

ANT & DEC: THEIR STORY

Channel 5 22:00

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Dinner Date 08:00 Ellen DeGeneres 08:50 Emmerdale 09:20 Coronation Street 09:50 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:20 Psych 11:10 Britain’s Got Talent 12:45 Britain’s Got Talent Results 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 18:00 Britain’s Got Talent 19:30 Britain’s Got Talent Results 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason 00:15 Family Guy 01:15 American Dad! 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 The Cleveland Show 03:30 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

when Moira has a go at him, saying she should blame herself. Can Holly pull through this? And if so, will she forgive her mum for not answering her cry for help? Meanwhile, Jimmy is annoyed when Dan turns up late to look after Ashley. An oblivious Ashley invites Dan into the pirate ship and Dan is pleased to have found a quiet spot for his revision. Nicola is puzzled to see Ashley with Dan and realises Jimmy hasn’t been with him. Elsewhere, Aaron senses Liv is edgy when she

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Trev Massey, 14:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James doesn’t want to go to a theme park. She steals booze and plans to have a house smashing party at Gordon’s, hoping it will help her to win friends. Also today, Ronnie is irritated when Bernice accuses him of blackmailing Lawrence. In Eastenders, with the Beale family still in turmoil, Ian struggles to hold everything together. Christian decides to give Ian the benefit of the doubt and offers him the chance to explain everything, but will Christian be able to forgive Ian when he hears the full story?

Meanwhile, Roxy is keen to make a fresh start and tells Ronnie that she is renting out a new flat. Elsewhere, Sharon continues with her mission to help Phil and packs away Peggy’s belongings, with

some help from Shirley. When Phil finds out what Sharon has done, he takes it badly and storms off. Also today, Pam confronts Babe again.

Saturday 28th May

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Mary Berry Cooks 13:00 News 13:10 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Homes Under the Hammer 14:30 Gymnastics: European Championships 17:15 Escape to the Country 18:00 Can’t Touch This 18:50 News 19:10 Pointless

07:30 Homes Under the Hammer 08:30 Film Death of a Scoundrel 10:25 Film - The Glass Bottom Boat (U) 12:10 Natural World 13:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Everyday Gourmets 14:00 Film - Father of the Bride (U) 15:30 Flog It 16:20 The Great British Sewing Bee 17:20 The Great British Sewing Bee 18:20 This Week’s World PGA Golf: 20:00 Michael Mcintyre’s 19:00 Big Show Family entertain- Championship Highlights ment with Michael McIntyre, featuring music from All 20:00 Nick Baker’s Wild Saints West Nick explores the wildlife-rich wetlands of 20:50 The National south west England Lottery: In It to Win It Dale Winton presents the gener- 20:30 Chelsea Flower al knowledge quiz show Show Monty and Joe look back at the highlights of 21:40 Casualty Robyn is their week determined to bring David out of his shell 21:30 Dad’s Army The to coming is king 22:30 The Musketeers In Walmington-on-Sea war-torn France, the battlescarred swordsmen reunite 22:00 The Secret of to rescue orphans from bru- Beethoven’s Fifth tal mercenary Lucien Symphony John Eliot Grimaud. Meanwhile, a sin- Gardiner looks at the story ister new battle awaits in behind the famous piece of the form of corrupt governor music, the opening notes of Feron which are among the most recognisable in history 23:30 News 23:50 Peter Kay’s Comedy Shuffle 23:30 Artsnight 00:00 Film 00:20 Live at the Apollo - The Prestige (12) 02:00 01:05 Film - The Tuxedo Film - The Disappearance (12) 02:40 Weather for the of Alice Creed (18) 03:35 Week Ahead 02:45 News This is BBC Two

07:00 CITV 09:25 News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 Jeremy Kyle USA 13:05 News 13:10 Jeremy Kyle 14:15 Poirot: Murder on the Orient Express 16:50 Film Kindergarten Cop (15) 19:00 News

07:10 Cycling: Velothon Wales 08:05 Motorsport: Mini Challenge 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 The Morning Line 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Superhumans Show 12:30 The Big Bang Theory 13:30 The Simpsons 14:30 Racing: Haydock Park and 19:25 Bang on the Money Chester 17:15 A Place in the Sun 18:15 News Rickie and Melvin host the game show in which two 18:45 Formula 1: Monaco teams of friends must battle Grand Prix Qualifying it out to hit a specific target Highlights Steve Jones number `bang on’ in a presents highlights of qualseries of physical and men- ifying from the Monaco Grand Prix tal challenges 20:30 Britain’s Got Talent After weeks of tough auditions and five fiercely competitive semi-finals, the national talent search comes to a close as the remaining acts perform one last time. At stake a coveted slot at this year’s Royal Variety Performance and the £250,000 cash prize

20:30 Guy Martin: Last Flight of the Vulcan Bomber The mechanic joins a select crew of engineers working to prepare the last Vulcan bomber that is capable of flight for a farewell tour of the UK

22:00 Film - Red 2 (12) Retired CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track 23:00 Let’s Do it: A Tribute down a missing portable to Victoria Wood 00:00 nuclear device News 00:15 UEFA Champions League 00:10 Film - End of Days (18) 02:30 Hollyoaks Highlights 01:20 Omnibus 04:35 Posh Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, Pawnbrokers 05:30 Win it She Wrote 04:50 ITV Cook it 05:55 Fifteen to Nightscreen One

07:00 Milkshake 09:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:30 The Saturday Show Live 12:30 Fail Army 13:00 Police Interceptors 18:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 19:55 News 20:00 Cricket on 5: England v Sri Lanka Mark Nicholas introduces highlights of the second day of the Second Test from the Riverside in Durham where England play Sri Lanka 21:00 NCIS: Los Angeles When an ex-marine now working for a private security firm is accused of murdering a businessman in Iraq, the team try to get their hands on him before his employers dish out their own form of justice 22:00 NCIS After a marine is murdered, DiNozzo returns to his old military academy Bishop and her husband invite the team for dinner 23:00 Football League Tonight 23:45 The Best of Bad TV: The 80s 01:15 Super Casino 04:10 Police Interceptors 05:00 Secrets of the Valley of the Kings 05:50 Divine Designs

13:30 Film - A Little Princess (U) 15:30 Scorpion 16:25 Film Uncle Buck (12) 18:25 Film - The Smurfs 2 (U) 20:20 Film - Hulk (12) 23:00 Britain’s Got More Talent 00:00 Family Guy 01:30 American Dad! 02:25 The Cleveland Show 03:15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records ITV3 13:35 The Return of Sherlock Holmes 15:55 Foyle’s War 17:55 A Touch of Frost 20:00 Doc Martin 21:00 Foyle’s War 23:00 Lewis 01:00 Trial & Retribution 02:05 Northern Lights ITV4 10:30 Live French Open Tennis 22:00 Cycling 23:00 Premiership Rugby Union 00:00 Film - The Long Kiss Goodnight (18) 02:25 Hell on Wheels 03:25 Tommy Cooper

09:00 The Weekend Mix, 12:00 Suzy G, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Sunday 29th May 07:35 Great British Garden Revival 08:35 This Farming Life 09:35 Countryfile 10:30 The Beechgrove Garden 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure 13:00 Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food 13:30 Rowing: World Cup Highlights - Lucerne 15:30 Athletics: Diamond Eugene League 16:30 Highlights European Gymnastics: 20:00 Countryfile John Championships 19:00 Golf: Championship Craven races a hill runner PGA to the summit of Snowdon Highlights and meets the volunteers Union Rugby protecting the area’s osprey 20:00 and Anita Rani dons her Highlights of England v wetsuit to discover that you Wales from Twickenham don’t need to be near the 21:00 Top Gear The motorsea to go surfing ing show returns with new hosts Chris Evans and Matt 21:00 Antiques LeBlanc, featuring test Roadshow The Antiques drives, spectacular stunts Roadshow returns to and reports on the latest Tredegar House near models Newport in Wales, where finds include a locket given 22:00 Battle of Jutland: by Queen Victoria The Navy’s Bloodiest Day Dan Snow, Shini Somara 22:00 Wallander The and Nick Hewitt investigate detective investigates when the events and the legacy a body is found half-buried of the largest naval battle of the First World War in a swamp

07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Wanted Down Under 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:15 Homes Under the Hammer 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Lose Weight for Love 17:00 Nature’s Epic Journeys 18:00 Points of View 18:15 Songs of Praise 18:50 Pointless 19:35 News

23:30 News 00:00 Room 101 00:40 Film - Grosse Pointe Blank (15) 02:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:25 News

23:05 QI 23:35 Stupid Man, Smart Phone 00:25 Flat TV 00:45 Later with Jools Holland 01:50 Countryfile 02:45 Holby City 03:45 This is BBC Two

07:00 CITV 09:25 News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 Griff’s Great Britain 11:00 Peston on Sunday 12:00 Jeremy Kyle USA 12:55 News 13:00 Jeremy Kyle 15:05 Britain’s Got Talent 17:35 Midsomer Murders 19:30 News 20:00 Where are They Now? The Reunions The remaining members of the Scottish pop act Bay City Rollers reunite for a comeback gig in their hometown of Edinburgh, and reminisce about their 1970s heyday, while the cast of the famous Oxo advertisements get together to recall working with Lynda Bellingham, who died in 2014. Also featured are 1980s reggae outfit Musical Youth, and the `boys’ of Walthamstow-based 1990s boy band East 17

06:50 Salvage SOS 08:05 Monaco Historic Grand Prix 2016 09:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Film - Step Up 2: The Streets (PG) 15:25 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 16:25 Location, Location, Location 17:30 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:30 News

07:00 Milkshake 10:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:30 Fail Army 11:55 Now That’s Funny 12:55 Film - Holy Man (PG) 15:05 Film - Bride Wars (PG) 16:50 Film The Princess Diaries (U) 19:00 Kitten’s Got Talent 19:55 News

18:45 Formula 1: Monaco Grand Prix Highlights Steve Jones presents highlights of the sixth race of the 2016 Formula 1 season

20:00 Cricket on 5: England v Sri Lanka Mark Nicholas introduces highlights of the third day of the Second Test from the Riverside in Durham where England play Sri Lanka

21:00 Yeti: Man, Myth or Beast? Scientist Mark Evans enlists the aid of an international team of geneticists as he sets out to determine, once and for all, whether there is a rational explanation for the legendary Tibetan yeti 22:00 Channel 4’s Comedy Gala 2016 Channel 4’s Comedy Gala, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity, returns for a seventh year to London’s O2 Arena

21:00 The British Soap Awards 2016 Recorded live at London’s Hackney Empire, Phillip Schofield hosts one of the most exciting and glamorous nights on the showbiz calendar 00:30 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:30 23:00 News 23:20 Film - The Two Faces of Perspectives 00:20 Rugby January (12) 03:05 Come Highlights 01:15 Dine with Me 05:15 Location, Jackpot247 04:00 Location, Location Motorsport UK

21:00 Secrets of the Sphinx Documentary in renowned which Egyptologists and other experts piece together the story of who built the Sphinx and why? 22:00 Film - Hercules (12) The Greek demigod Hercules is banned to Egypt where he has to fight as a gladiator to be able to be free 00:00 Football League Tonight 00:45 Film - Crank 2: High Voltage (18) 02:25 Super Casino 04:10 The KKK: Behind the Mask 05:00 Caught on Camera 05:50 Nick’s Quest

14:35 The Hot Desk 14:45 Film - Beethoven (U) 16:35 Film - The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (U) 18:20 Film - Despicable Me (U) 20:10 Film - Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (12) 22:30 Love Island 23:00 Family Guy 01:00 American Dad ITV3 13:20 Foyle’s War 15:20 Columbo 17:30 Film - Doc Hollywood (12) 19:30 Rosemary and Thyme 21:00 Lewis 23:05 Film Good Will Hunting (15) 01:45 Secret Smile 03:05 Blue Murder 03:55 May the Best House Win ITV4 10:30 French Open 22:00 Film - Police Academy (15) 23:55 Film The Chronicles of Riddick (15) 02:15 Minder 03:20 Tommy Cooper

09:00 The Weekend Mix, 12:00 Suzy G, 15:00 Tony De Love

Monday 30th May

07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Council House Crackdown 10:45 Homes Under the Hammer 11:45 Family Finders 12:30 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:30 For What It’s Worth 15:15 Money for Nothing 16:00 Escape to the Country 17:00 The Instant Gardener 17:45 Flog It 18:45 Pointless 19:30 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Chelsea Flower Show Sophie Raworth and Joe Swift look back at the highlights of the week at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2016 21:00 EastEnders Roxy makes a decision about her future 21:30 A Midsummer Night’s Dream (12) In the tyrannical court of Athens, pitiless dictator Theseus plans his wedding to Hippolyta, a prisoner of war, and young Hermia is sentenced to death by her own father. Meanwhile, in the town below, amateur theatre group the Mechanicals rehearse, with all their comic rivalries. And beyond Athens, in the wild woods, dark forces are stirring 23:00 News 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 00:10 The Graham Norton Show 00:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:00 News

07:00 Council House Crackdown 07:45 Homes Under the Hammer 08:45 Family Finders 09:30 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 10:00 Film Quo Vadis (PG) 12:45 Film - 102 Dalmatians (U) 14:20 Golf: PGA Championship Highlights 16:20 Film Emma (U) 18:15 Eggheads 18:45 Bargain Hunt 19:30 Springwatch 20:00 Top Gear Repeat of last night’s programme 21:00 Springwatch Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games kick off an action-packed wildlife extravaganza, live from RSPB Minsmere reserve in Suffolk 22:00 The Great British Sewing Bee Claudia Winkleman welcomes the eight remaining contestants back to the sewing room to take on three demanding challenges related to lingerie. First they must follow a pattern for a bra, then transform charity shop silk scarves into pieces of lingerie and finish off by making luxury robes for their male and female models 23:00 Upstart Crow 23:30 The Real Versailles 00:25 Caravanner of the Year 01:25 Lose Weight for Love 02:25 Mary Beard’s Ultimate Rome: Empire Without Limit 03:25 This is BBC Two

07:00 CITV 08:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 Film - The Secret of My Succe$s (PG) 13:35 Big Star’s Little Star 14:35 News 14:45 All Star Family Fortunes 15:30 Judge Rinder 16:30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 17:30 Tipping Point 18:30 The Chase 19:30 News 20:00 Emmerdale Moira is left reeling by Cain’s actions 20:30 Coronation Street David points the finger 21:00 Wild Australia with Ray Mears Ray braves the fierce Southern Ocean, taking to the seas in search of unique species like the weedy sea dragon 21:30 Coronation Street The Platts and Grimshaws go head-to-head 22:00 Britain’s Busiest Airport Heathrow Documentary series filmed over seven months looking at life behind the scenes at the UK’s biggest and busiest airport. It follows Heathrow’s army of 76,000 staff as they attempt to safely process 200,000 passengers every single day 23:00 News 23:15 Class of 92 01:05 Murder, She Wrote 01:55 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Kyle 04:55 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will and Grace 08:10 Film Explorers (U) 10:15 The Big Bang Theory 11:45 The Simpsons 13:25 Film Astro Boy (PG) 15:10 Fifteen to One 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Shipping Wars 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:30 The Big Spring Clean Phil Spencer tackles Britain’s clutter crisis as he dispatches a team of specialists to free up space and redesign a family home in Devon 21:30 Food Unwrapped Matt asks how much of a leek we should be eating 22:00 24 Hours in A and E Janine is rushed to St George’s after being kicked by a horse at her stables in Surrey 23:00 An Immigrant’s Guide to Britain 23:30 Secret Life of the Human Pups 00:20 24 Hours in Police Custody 01:20 Random Acts 01:45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:35 Undercover 03:30 The Three Day Nanny 04:25 Posh Pawnbrokers 05:20 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 05:40 Win it Cook it

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:25 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:20 News 13:25 Home and Away 14:00 Neighbours 14:30 NCIS: New Orleans 15:30 Film Where Eagles Dare (PG) 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 Police Interceptors 20:00 Cricket: England v Sri Lanka Mark Nicholas introduces highlights of the fourth day of the Second Test from the Riverside in Durham where England play Sri Lanka 21:00 Police Interceptors: Fast and Furious A pursuit ends in a flaming fireball for Damo and Nyci, Kev and Mark chase a gang of motorbike thieves and Jacko pursues a runaway car through a park 22:00 Can’t Pay Special: Big Family Bust Up Oneoff edition in which the High Court enforcement agents are caught in the crossfire of three bitter family disputes, including a debt-dodging man who pushes his panic-stricken mother over the edge 23:00 Gotham 00:00 Goal Rush 00:45 Film - Tears of the Sun (15) 02:40 Super Casino 04:10 Castle 05:00 Caught on Camera 05:45 Wildlife SOS

HEATHROW: BRITAIN’S BUSIEST AIRPORT

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Cain comes clean to Moira by admitting that Holly tried to call her before she took her heroin overdose, but he deleted the message. When Moira is out, Cain tells Holly to leave - insisting that she would be better off killing herself away from Moira. Can Moira stop Holly from leaving?

The return of the documentary exploring life behind the scenes at the airport. Heavy fog throws Heathrow into turmoil and new terminal manager Callum is faced with hundreds of angry and stranded passengers stuck overnight at the airport, while visibility has dropped to less than 100m on the airfield and safety officer Chris is forced to marshal planes. Manager Nilam reveals the secrets of one of Heathrow’s most exclusive first-class lounge and dispatcher James and his team hunt around the terminal for late passengers for a flight to Pakistan.

And if she does intervene, will this be the final straw for Cain? Meanwhile, Gabby and Liv film themselves smashing things at Gordon’s and post the videos online to show the party is legit, but it doesn’t take Bernice and Chas long to realise that the girls have lied about where they are. When they arrive at Gordon’s house, Chas struggles to discipline Liv and later tells Aaron about the party. Aaron fears Liv’s behaviour is all about Gordon. In Coronation Street, Gail, David, Kylie, Max and Lily move into Carla’s vacated flat temporarily

following the discovery of Callum’s body. Sarah is jittery about the police investigation, but David urges her to stick to their story. The fallout continues when Gemma calls at the police station and informs DS Kerr that she knows who killed Callum. Marion blames David for Callum’s demise and slaps his face. Gail also confides in a shocked Sarah about who she suspects is the killer. Later, the police arrive and begin making arrests. As Kerr questions David about events prior to Callum’s disappearance, David coolly admits that

ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 Where the Heart is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Murder, She Wrote 12:55 Sherlock Holmes 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 In Loving Memory 17:45 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 The Sound of Music Live 23:35 The Making of the Sound of Music Live 00:05 The Knock 01:15 A Touch of Frost 03:05 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping ITV4 07:00 Highway Patrol 07:30 Minder 08:35 The Chase 09:30 Fifth Gear 10:30 French Open 22:00 TT 2016: Hutchy Miracle Man 23:00 Cycling: Tour Series Highlights 00:00 Film - 30 Days of Night (18) 02:20 Rugby Highlights 03:25 Tommy Cooper 03:55 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

DON´T MISS

ITV 22:00

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Dinner Date 08:00 The Cube 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 The Hot Desk 09:40 Catchphrase 10:25 Film The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (PG) 12:10 The Nation’s Favourite Disney Song 13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 The British Soap Awards 2016 15:45 Film - A Cinderella Story (PG) 17:40 Film Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (PG) 19:50 Film - The Wedding Planner (PG) 22:00 Love Island 23:30 Family Guy 00:30 American Dad 01:30 The Cleveland Show 02:25 Safeword 03:05 The Hot Desk 03:15 Teleshopping

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Trev Massey, 14:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James he’s glad Callum is dead but didn’t kill him. Gail, Kylie and Sarah realise that the police consider David the prime suspect. But an under pressure David has the name of another of Callum’s enemies for them. Who does he name? In the second episode, David fills in DS Kerr on Jason’s work on the garage conversion and his feud with Callum. The police arrive on the street and approach Jason. Kylie and Sarah are taken aback to realise that David put the police onto Jason. Later at the station, Jason

is unnerved when DS Kerr points out that he had a strong motive for murder and the opportunity to dispose of the body. On the street afterwards, Jason furiously accuses David of trying to implicate him to cover his own tracks.

Kathy urges Ian to take a break and have some time to himself, but Ian ignores her advice and heads back to the hospital with Bobby. With Linda unhappy to see Bobby at the hospital, what will happen next? Lauren becomes frustrated when Abi refuses to help Max. Lauren is also worried to hear about everything that happened between Abi and Ben.

In Eastenders, Ian is still worried about Jane’s condition and is also reeling from the shock return of Lauren.

Tuesday 31st May 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Council House Crackdown 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:45 World War One Remembered: The Battle of Jutland 13:30 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 For What It’s Worth 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The Instant Gardener 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Ian receives some devastating news 21:00 Holby City When bad publicity threatens Zosia’s participation in Jac’s new stent, she fights to prove herself worthy 22:00 In the Club It’s the coroner’s hearing and a nervous Vicky prepares to find out her fate. Will she be found responsible for one of her birthing mother’s death? Roanna is horrified when Ray tells her that Katie didn’t come home last night and her secrets and lies come tumbling out with devastating results 23:00 BBC News and Weather 23:45 All in the Mind 00:30 The Truth About Alcohol 01:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:35 News

07:30 Family Finders 08:15 The Instant Gardener 09:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Pubs That Built Britain 09:30 Great British Railway Journeys 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 11:45 Family Finders 12:30 Wanted Down Under 13:15 Pressure Pad 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 BMX World Championships 15:45 The TV That Made Me 16:15 Australia with Simon Reeve 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Bargain Hunt 18:55 Referendum Campaign Broadcast by the Vote Leave Campaign 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Springwatch 20:00 World War One Remembered: The Battle of Jutland David Dimbleby looks back on the day’s events held to commemorate the Battle of Jutland, one of greatest sea battles in naval history 21:00 Springwatch Day two and Chris and Michaela bring live wildlife dramas from RSPB Minsmere in Suffolk 22:00 Britain and Europe: For Richer or Poorer? Laura Kuenssberg examines the economic costs and benefits of EU membership 23:00 Later Live with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Battle of Jutland: The Navy’s Bloodiest Day 01:15 Nature’s Epic Journeys 02:15 This Farming Life 03:15 This is BBC Two

Liv

21:00 Fierce In the final episode of the series, Steve visits the vast nature reserves of South Africa. He goes in search of a pack of rare and endangered African wild dogs and helps capture and tag a magnificent martial eagle, before getting hands-on with a venomous spitting cobra and a puff adder as they strike 22:00 Myleene Klass: Single Mums on Benefits Documentary in which Myleene Klass attempts to reveal the truth about single mums who receive benefits. As a single mum herself, she struggles with a stigma she feels is still attached to her status. She hopes to find out why such an attitude endures and single mums still get such a hard time 23:00 News 23:40 On Assignment 00:10 Columbo 02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose 04:50 ITV Women Nightscreen

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will and Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Undercover Boss Canada 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Fifteen to One 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Shipping Wars 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 20:55 Referendum Campaign Broadcast 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Country House Cleaners This time the cleaners tackle Tarbert House, a Georgian manor on the banks of the River Shannon in the west of Ireland 22:00 How to Get a Council House In this edition, cameras focus on Shayne who is living in a cramped bedsit, which he says he can only access by climbing through a window There’s also a profile of Clemente who’s been living with his family - and four other families - in a shared house 23:00 Gogglebox 00:05 First Dates 01:05 Embarrassing Bodies 02:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Gillette World Sport 02:55 Cycling 03:50 Motorsport 04:15 The Superhumans Show 04:45 Motorsport 05:10 Monaco Historic Grand Prix 2016

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 News 13:15 Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Film Nightmare Nurse 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 19:55 Referendum Campaign Broadcast 20:00 Cricket on 5: England v Sri Lanka Mark Nicholas introduces highlights of the final day of the Second Test from the Riverside in Durham where England play Sri Lanka 21:00 The Yorkshire Vet Julian gets a 5am emergency call about a horse with colic and one of the Skeldale nurses helps out at a local farm during lambing season 22:00 Inside the World’s Toughest Prisons: Exposed and Uncut Oneoff documentary featuring footage from journalist Paul Connelly’s investigations into some of the scariest jails in the world 23:00 Party Pensioners: Sex, Drugs and Bingo 00:00 Up Late with Rylan 00:45 Can’t Pay Special: Big Family Bust Up 01:45 Police Interceptors 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 Castle 05:00 Mobs and Yobs: Caught on Camera 05:50 Wildlife SOS

DON´T MISS MYLEENE KLASS: SINGLE MUMS ON BENEFITS

ITV 22:00

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Liv receives another nasty message from an online troll and she accuses Robert of sending it. When Liv then runs into Ryan, she realises that he is the person Robert paid to lie about Gordon. Liv makes him an offer of her own and Ryan is clearly tempted.

The musician investigates the truth about single mothers who receive benefits and asks whether it really is an easy life, or more a case of a living on the breadline. As one of Britain’s two million single parents, Myleene Klass struggles with a stigma she feels is still attached to her single mother status as she raises daughters Ava and Hero. She talks to self-proclaimed `Welfare Queen’ Marie Buchanan, an unemployed single mother of eight children who caused outrage when she publicly declared her £26,000 benefits weren’t enough.

Later, Liv struggles to cope at Gordon’s funeral and runs out of the service. Robert follows her out and she is surprised when he offers her support. They finally put their differences aside, so Liv secretly tries to get through to Ryan to tell him the plan is off. But is she too late?

Meanwhile, Adam discovers that Cain has walked out on Moira and confronts

him for walking out when things get tough. However, it’s an unlikely villager who makes Cain think twice by warning him that if he pushes Holly out, her death could well be on his conscience in the future.

ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 Where the Heart Is 09:30 The Royal 10:30 Judge Judy 11:50 Murder, She Wrote 12:55 The Return of Sherlock Holmes 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart Is 17:10 In Loving Memory 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Wycliffe 00:05 The Knock 01:20 A Touch of Frost 03:10 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping ITV4 07:00 Motorway Patrol 07:30 Minder 08:30 The Chase 09:35 Fifth Gear 10:30 Ax Men 11:25 Cycling: Tour Series Highlights 12:30 TT 2016 13:30 Live French Open Tennis 21:00 The Chase 22:00 TT 2016 23:00 World Superbike Highlights 00:00 Film - Road (PG) 02:15 Motorsport UK 03:20 Tommy Cooper 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Trev Massey, 14:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack haunted. When Arthur later sees the pirate ship lit up, what is really going on? Also today, Belle is thrown to see Cain collaring Dr Bailey in the village. She demands to know what Cain wanted from him.

Later, Cain apologises to Moira but also presents a drug testing kit, suggesting that Holly has been using drugs the whole time and is now showing signs of withdrawal. Will Moira go along with this and ask Holly to take the test? Elsewhere, Ashley and Laurel are concerned when Arthur seems terrified of the pirate ship all of a sudden, thinking that it’s

07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:15 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 Coronation Street 10:30 Psych 11:20 Scorpion 12:15 Dinner Date 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:35 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 19:50 The Hot Desk 20:00 Love Island 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Love Island 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Family Guy 01:10 American Dad! 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 Safeword 03:15 Teleshopping

entire situation, Ian heads to the police station with Bobby to hear what the decision will be. Will he be charged or not? Meanwhile, Abi is horrified to learn that Lauren has known Bobby killed Lucy for over a year. Lauren explains everything to her sister and also comes clean to her about what’s going on between her and Peter. Will Lauren and Abi make amends?

In Eastenders, the Beales face an anxious wait to hear if Bobby will be charged. Still feeling torn about the

In Holby City, When bad publicity threatens Zosia’s participation in Jac’s new stent, she fights to prove herself worthy. But when a loved one needs her help,

will Zosia sacrifice her own career to help them? Ready to prove himself the best junior doctor on Keller, Dom is unnerved by a face from his past. Can he keep it together? Bernie struggles to find her place on AAU when an overbearing Serena insists she knows best. But will Jason become a casualty of their spat?

CODE CRACKER

Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 12 represents N and 10 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Quantity of baked bread (5) 4 Damned (6) 9 Put in order (7) 10 Fling (5) 11 Powder (4) 12 Fervent (7) 13 Stinging flying insect (3) 14 Scoundrel (5) 16 Robust (5) 18 Falsehood (3) 19 Genuine (7) 20 Quote (4) 23 Main arterial vessel (5) 24 Attendant (7) 25 Plucked (6) 26 Pay out (5)

1 Lodger (7) 2 Periods (5) 3 Clue (4) 5 Changeable (8) 6 Grave (7) 7 Sediment (5) 8 Grab (5) 13 Drink (8) 15 Broad (7) 17 Gave way (7) 18 Smallest (5) 19 Outer covering of the skull (5) 21 Annoyed (5) 22 Untidiness (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Cargo, 4 Tsar, 9 Secular, 10 Under, 11 Imp, 12 Agree, 14 Irate, 15 Asked, 16 Kiev, 18 Idea, 20 Egypt, 22 Rules, 23 Yacht, 25 Due, 26 Decor, 27 Algebra, 29 Taps, 30 Seedy. Down: 1 Casual, 2 Recur, 3 Owl, 5 Stupidity, 6 Red tape, 7 Prickly pear, 8 Brief, 13 Eavesdrop, 17 Illicit, 19 Crude, 21 Steady, 24 Cable, 28 Gas.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Some disapproval lets customers try out goods before buying them (5) 4 Poorly? Don’t start crying (6) 9 Land needs me badly (7) 10 Ms Hird can be seen in Bath or a nearby town (5) 11 Authentic old coin (4) 12 Six rings around maidens (7) 13 Cherry does not need her blubber (3) 14 Renew what’s damaged with something modern (5) 16 Nymph hiding in toreador’s home (5) 18 Measure the middle of the paellas (3) 19 First book new sign, see? (7) 20 Smack on the wrist? (4) 23 Rebuilt abode using clay (5) 24 Bad example or examples (7) 25 Formally agrees to provide luxury (6) 26 Age is a new form of support (5)

Down 1 Road inn arranged around the hearth (7) 2 Dad gets a measure of current grass (5) 3 Kiln, as in Old Testament (4) 5 Law agency involved in plot to capture the Queen (8) 6 Funny oldies I hero-worship (7) 7 Scruffy togas for Capricorns (5) 8 He and a docked Navy is substantial (5) 13 Redesigned Civil Service Centre is curved in shape (8) 15 It’s charming to have the odd victory (7) 17 Fed up with Ray’s refunds (7) 18 Compound built of trees (5) 19 Enormous soldier ant (5) 21 Take down awful pun, for example (5) 22 Greek goddess is part of the Ram constellation (4)

STANDARD CLUES 26 Support (5) Across Down 1 Favourable reception (5) 1 Fireplace log holder (7) 4 Not well (6) 2 Argentine grassland (5) 9 Landed property (7) 3 Brewer’s kiln (4) 10 First name of actress 5 International law enforceHird (5) ment agency (8) 11 Actual (4) 6 Hero-worship (7) 12 Inexperienced persons 7 Agile mountain animals (7) (5) 13 Weep (3) 8 Weighty (5) 14 More current (5) 13 Half-moon (8) 16 Mountain nymph (5) 15 Charming (7) 18 Measure of cloth (3) 17 Bears the expenses of 19 First book of the Bible (7) (7) 18 Organic compound (5) 20 End of a shirt arm (4) 19 Monster (5) 23 Sun-dried brick (5) 21 Remove dowels (5) 24 Models (7) 22 Queen of Mount 25 Deals with (6) Olympus (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Scraping, 5 Ever, 9 Ocelots, 10 Civil, 11 Beef, 12 Calends, 15 Roster, 16 Beggar, 19 Heretic, 21 Gala, 24 Livid, 25 Spotted, 26 Goya, 27 Canoodle. Down: 1 Snobbery, 2 Reefers, 3 Pool, 4 Nassau, 6 Vivid, 7 Rely, 8 Acceded, 13 Beheads, 14 Organdie, 17 Granted, 18 Fiesta, 20 Envoy, 22 Flog, 23 Dodo.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Lee Ran War 4 letter words Area Aria Aver Axis Bald Bard Bass Bike Brae Cane Cote

Data Else Enol Into Isle Left Loge Node Nuts Oral Pint Rely Rift Rode Rues Sent Silo Skis

Slow Stew Taxi Team Tole Unit Watt 5 letter words Aches Adder Alike Aster Awake Boast Eaten Elope Heave

Ingle Kiosk Pixie Ratel Recap Reset Roost Scene Seers Soaks Steer Stirs Swabs Taper Venue Wiles 6 letter words

Almost Hacker Ornate Papers Pastry Sparse Splice Svelte 7 letter words Anthrax Attract Seethes Whereas 8 letter words Database Easiness

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 7 To scratch (with claw, nail) (6) 8 Hardly (6) 9 Nombre (de persona, cosa) (4) 10 Meanwhile (8) 11 Esponjas (para el aseo) (7) 13 To sew (5) 15 Cajas (5) 17 To mix together (ingredients, colours, liquids) (7) 20 Generoso (persona) (8) 21 Brazos (de persona) (4) 23 Receta (6) 24 Pavo (6)

Down 1 Berry (4) 2 Pantalla (television, cine) (6) 3 Trompeta (7) 4 Puertas (de jardín, ciudad) (5) 5 Centre (6) 6 Chambermaid (8) 12 To protect (8) 14 Sensible (having good sense) (7) 16 To choose (6) 18 Square (6) 19 Cuerdas (gruesas) (5) 22 Honey (from bees) (4)

11 Across 1/24 1973 American comedy film set in Kansas and Missouri during the Great Depression, starring Ryan and Tatum O’Neal as Moze and Addie (5,4) 4 Weekly listing of the current bestselling pop records (3,6) 9/10 Otherwise unknown person, usually abroad, with whom one corresponds (3,3) 11 Symbol of socialist revolution or a warning of danger (3,4) 12 Cut of meat taken from the side and back of an animal between the ribs and the rump (4) 13 Drug prepared from the leaves and root of deadly nightshade (10) 15 Dog of a short-legged breed with a fox-like head (5) 16 Treat a sacred place or thing with violent disrespect (9) 17 Refused to abandon

one’s opinion or belief (5,4) 21 Old Testament prophet who led the Israelites from Egypt across the Red Sea on a journey known as the Exodus (5) 23 Physicist who studies celestial bodies and the universe as a whole (10) 24 See 1 27 Diplomatic building where ambassadors live or work (7) 28 Heavy metal stove used for heating and cooking (3) 29 Elongated seed vessel of a leguminous plant such as the pea, splitting open on both sides when ripe (3) 30 Austrian-born actor and film director who was a leader in developing method acting in the US (1901-1982): Lee --------- (9) 31 Soft, malleable greyish-yellow paste, made from ground chalk and raw linseed oil, which hardens after a few hours and is used for sealing glass in

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

window frames and filling holes in wood (5) Down 1 Dark circular opening

in the centre of the iris of the eye, which varies in size to regulate the amount of light reaching the retina (5) 2 A large basket, usually

one of a pair, carried by a beast of burden or on a bicycle (7) 3 Fully developed or matured and ready to be eaten or used (4) 4 Pike fitted with an axe head (7) 5 American rock band led by vocalists Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman, whose UK hit singles include Happy Together, She’d Rather Be With Me (both 1967) and Elenore (1968) (7) 6 Military officer acting as a confidential assistant to a senior officer (4-2-4) 7 State capital and largest city of Georgia (7) 8 Skilled workers who can inscribe designs or writing onto a surface by carving or etching (9) 14 Rolling Stones’ song from their 1971 album Sticky Fingers, which was a UK Top 10 hit single for Susan Boyle in 2009 (4,6) 15 Small concave pieces

of wood, ivory, or plastic, joined in pairs by a cord and clicked together by the fingers as a rhythmic accompaniment to Spanish dancing (9) 18 Month known to the Anglo-Saxons as Winterfylleth, because at this full moon (fylleth) winter was supposed to begin (7) 19 Someone who assists a priest or minister in a liturgical service (7) 20 Another term for bêche-de-mer, a large sea cucumber eaten as a delicacy in China and Japan (7) 22 Athletic competition in which a heavy metal ball is hurled as far as possible (4,3) 25 Wooden boy who lives in Toyland, created by children’s author Enid Blyton (5) 26 Coarse file or similar metal tool for scraping, filing or rubbing down objects of metal, wood or other hard material (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH LA REALEZA /ROYALTY

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

abdicar

la casa real

coronar

la corona

el jefe de estado

la infanta

el palacio

la monarquía

el príncipe

la princesa

el rey

la reina

el trono

reinar

movies/tv QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Fred Quimby 2. Marcel 3. Karl Malden 4. Charlie Chaplin 5. An Actress 6. The Great Dictator, Adenoid Hinkel 7. Vince Edwards 8. Hocus Pocus 9. In the heat of the night 10. Psycho 11. Ginger Rodgers 12. Happy Rabbit 13. I Love Lucy

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Dragnet, 5 Summons, 8 Loire, 9 Rainwater, 11 Battering rams, 13 Spruce, 16 Hangover, 18 Hannibal, 19 Nelson, 24 Spill the beans, 26 Stage door, 27 Agile, 28 Cologne, 29 Big bang. Down: 1 Delibes, 2 Aviator, 3 Niece, 4 Turnip, 5 Stingray, 6 Oates, 7 Sarah, 10 Wrangle, 12 Peso, 14 Pear, 15 Cuisine, 17 Calliope, 20 Stamina, 21 Nest egg, 22 Cherub, 23 BASIC, 24 Snail, 25 Bragg.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.abdicar, 2.coronar,

j.the prince,

3.el jefe de estado, 4.el palacio,

a.the queen, b.the palace,

k.the royal household,

5.el príncipe, 6.el rey, 7.el trono,

c.the King, d.to reign,

l.to crown, m.the throne,

8.la casa real, 9.la corona,

e.head of state,

n.the princess.

10.la infanta, 11.la monarquía,

f.the princess(not in direct line to

12.la princesa, 13.la reina,

the throne), g.the crown,

14.reinar

h.the monarchy, i.to abdicate,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2l, 3e, 4b, 5j, 6c, 7m, 8k, 9g, 10f, 11h, 12n, 13a, 14d.

1. Who produced the 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons until 1956? 2. What was the name of Rose's monkey on the TV show 'Friends'? 3. Malden Serkiovitch became famous as which actor? 4. Which film star has his statue in Leicester Square? 5. Dorethy Parker said "Scratch an actor and you will find" what? 6. In which film did Charlie Chaplain have his first speaking part in 1940? 7. Name the actor who played Ben Casey? 8. Which 1993 Disney film starred Bet Middler as a witch? 9. What film won the best picture Oscar in 1967? 10. In what film was the first flushing toilet seen? 11. Virginia McMath, became famous as which actress? 12. What was Bugs Bunny's original name? 13. Which TV show did 44 million Americans watch, while only 27 million watched Eisenhower being sworn in?

Fill It In

12 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Council House Crackdown 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Family Finders 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 For What It’s Worth 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The Instant Gardener 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Living in ‘66 Exploring what life in 1966 was really like 21:00 Lose Weight for Love Tanya Byron helps Bob and Jane, whose overeating and excessive drinking is making them so unhappy that it is threatening to drive them apart. Over the past few years, the couple have piled on the pounds through eating vast meals and drinking up to 25 bottles of wine a week 22:00 The Big C and Me Documentary following the lives of nine people with cancer as they experience everything the disease has to throw at them 23:00 News 23:45 Alan Shearer’s Euro 96: When Football Came Home 00:45 A Question of Sport 01:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:20 News

Wednesday 1st June 07:30 Family Finders 08:15 The Instant Gardener 09:00 See Hear 09:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Pubs That Built Britain 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 Film Sydney White (15) 14:45 The TV That Made Me 15:15 The Big Allotment Challenge 16:15 Australia with Simon Reeve 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Bargain Hunt 18:55 A Referendum Campaign Broadcast by the Stronger IN Europe Campaign 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Springwatch 20:00 Antiques Road Trip Veterans of the Antiques Road Trip challenge Charlie Ross and James Braxton travel from Boston in a 1961 Ford Zephyr as they hunt for bargains 21:00 Springwatch In an extended Springwatch, Chris Packham, Martin Hughes-Games and Michaela Strachan continue their wildlife watch live from the RSPB’s Minsmere reserve in Suffolk

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Belle takes a risk 20:30 Coronation Street Sarah looks like she has seen a ghost 21:00 Tonight at the London Palladium Host Bradley Walsh welcomes singer-songwriter Craig David, Dutch pop and jazz singer Caro Emerald, and the West End casts of The Comedy About a Bank Robbery and Matilda to the world-famous Palladium stage. Plus, La Soiree’s Denis Lock provides entertainment, and there is comedy by impressionist Alistair McGowan and stand-up Seann Walsh

22:30 Versailles Period drama depicting the decadent and turbulent early reign of Louis XIV

22:00 The Secrets of Growing Old A one-off documentary which looks at the changing face of growing old as we all live longer, with scientists believing that one in five of us will live to be a hundred

23:30 Newsnight 00:15 The Real Versailles 01:10 See Hear 01:40 Secret Britain 02:40 Normal for Norfolk 03:10 This is BBC Two

23:00 News 23:45 Britain’s Busiest Airport Heathrow 00:40 The Chase 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Murder, She Wrote 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 News 13:15 Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Film - Stranger in the House 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 19:55 Referendum Campaign Broadcast

20:00 Police Interceptors: Fast and Furious A pursuit ends in a flaming fireball for Damo 21:00 The Supervet A and Nyci and Kev and five-year-old Great Dane is Mark chase a gang of rushed to Fitzpatrick motorbike thieves Referrals after losing the GPs: Behind use of her back legs. The 21:00 sudden paralysis is down Closed Doors Dr Chris to a slipped disk in the Peace diagnoses a fitness spinal column, with compli- fanatic with a fungal infection after she notices an cations leaving the dog unusual red patch on her fighting for her life leg has spread to her thighs 22:00 24 Hours in Police Custody Officers search 22:00 The Hotel for and attempt to arrest an Inspector Alex turns referarmed and dangerous man ee to solve a problem who is on the run from between a hotel manager Operation Bosun, a spe- and the owner, who monicialist unit that tackles gun tors her every move on CCTV cameras from her crime office in Paris 23:00 Seventy with a Six Pack 00:05 24 Hours in A 23:00 Nightmare Tenants, and E 01:10 Blink 01:40 Slum Landlords 00:00 Up Ramsay’s Kitchen Late with Rylan 00:45 On Nightmares USA 02:30 Benefits: Life on the Dole 01:45 Police Interceptors Film - Shell (15) 04:05 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 Posh Pawnbrokers 05:00 Inside Britain’s Biggest Location, Location, Mosque 05:00 Caught on Location 05:55 Hugh’s 3 Camera 05:45 Wildlife Good Things SOS

DON´T MISS

On This Day

THE SECRETS OF GROWING OLD Documentary unraveling the secrets of ageing, including the changing attitudes to `growing old’, with examples of people who are defying preconceptions of what it means to be `old’. Scientists estimate that one in five people will live to be 100, with at least one baby born this year likely to reach the age of 150. The programme meets 83-yearold Dilys Price, who is now the world’s oldest skydiver after refusing to give up, 96-year-old Charles Eugster, who has the body of a man 30 years younger, and 82-year-old Alan Wrigley, who is one of the most valuable employees at B&Q in Rochdale.

ITV 22:00 adamantly tells him that SOAPS she’s not ill. Cain immedi-

ately wonders whether Belle is back with her married man. Meanwhile, Rhona dreads having a meal with Pierce and Marlon, but Pierce claims they can turn it to their advantage.

In Emmerdale, Belle cancels going to a gig with Lachlan and heads to Doctor Bailey’s house instead, as his wife is away and they can enjoy a romantic evening together.

Pierce turns on the charm and soon wins April over with a themed Frozen cake he has baked himself. Marlon is impressed, but Vanessa is disturbed to see Rhona and Pierce together.

Back at the village, Lachlan realises Belle has lied to him when Cain

In Coronation Street, Jason accosts Sarah in the street, demanding to

know what David is playing at. In the café, Todd gently suggests to Sarah that David is trying to frame Jason to throw the police off his own trail. Feeling the pressure, Sarah storms out and is aghast at the sight of a man that appears to be Callum.

Later, Todd corners Billy in the pub and fishes for

1985: Hippies clash with police at Stonehenge with over 300 arrests. information on Sarah. When Billy hints that Callum may have physically threatened Sarah, Todd surmises that David acted to save her. Billy refuses to indulge in such speculation. Todd calls on Sarah to probe her about Callum, but is thrown when Sarah asks if he believes in ghosts. Todd is astonished when Sarah suddenly flips. Meanwhile, Chesney apologises to Sinead for leaving her in the lurch yesterday. Riddled with guilt, Sinead tells him that she was out drinking all night with Fiz. At the factory, Sinead sheepishly apologises to Aidan for her

clumsy pass. Eva clocks the exchange and pushes Aidan for an explanation

Chesney is also suspicious when Fiz lets slip that she wasn’t with Sinead all night. As Aidan and Chesney make polite conversation in The Rovers, Eva can hold her tongue no longer and blurts out that Sinead made a play for Aidan. Chesney is devastated.

07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:15 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 10:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:30 Psych 11:20 Scorpion 12:15 Dinner Date 13:15 Emmerdale 14:15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:35 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 Love Island 20:30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Love Island 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Family Guy 01:15 American Dad! 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 Safeword 03:15 Teleshopping ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 Where the Heart Is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Murder, She Wrote 12:55 The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart Is 17:10 In Loving Memory 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Wycliffe 00:05 The Knock 01:15 A Touch of Frost 03:00 ITV3 03:30 Nightscreen Teleshopping ITV4 07:00 Tommy Cooper 07:30 Minder 08:35 The Chase 09:35 Fifth Gear 10:35 Ax Men 11:30 Storage Wars 12:25 TT 2016 13:30 Live French Open Tennis 21:00 The Chase 22:00 TT 2016 23:00 Cycling: Tour Series Highlights 00:00 Film - The Long Kiss Goodnight (18) 02:25 TT 2016 03:30 Tommy Cooper 04:00 Teleshopping

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Trev Massey, 14:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James Elsewhere, Roy and Cathy announce their engagement to a delighted Fiz and Anna. Roy presents Cathy with an engagement ring. Also today, Norris trains some binoculars on his roof. Phelan again offers to look at the slates, but Norris rejects the idea of employing a murder suspect like Jason. Norris is intrigued when Alastair, a customer in The Kabin, mentions he’s in property and is currently seeking Edwardian-era roof slates to restore a period building. Norris realises he could make a tidy profit and phones Alastair to strike the deal.

Thursday 2nd June 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Council House Crackdown 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Family Finders 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 For What It’s Worth 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The Instant Gardener 17:30 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Ian remains determined to fix his family 21:00 Living with Dementia: Chris’s Story In a powerful, multi-textured documentary filmed over almost two years, one family living with dementia reveals what life is really like behind closed doors 22:00 The Truth About Healthy Eating In the last of three documentaries focusing on medical matters, Fiona Phillips teams up with leading scientists to investigate how people can eat and drink their way to good health - and uncovers some surprising truths along the way 23:00 News 23:45 Question Time 00:45 The Last Days of Legal Highs 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 News

07:30 Family Finders 08:15 The Instant Gardener 09:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 Film - The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (PG) 14:45 The TV That Made Me 15:15 The Big Allotment Challenge 16:15 Australia with Simon Reeve 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Springwatch

22:00 Peaky Blinders As the Russians test the Peaky Blinders, Tommy realises that he is being seriously outmanoeuvred. But he has an ace up his sleeve in the form of an enemy turned ally

20:30 International Football Live: England v Portugal Mark Pougatch presents all the action from both teams’ final friendly before Euro 2016, which comes from Wembley Stadium. Roy Hodgson will be keen to cast his eye over his side in a match environment one more time before selecting his team to face Russia a week on Saturday, and they are likely to face a difficult encounter against the Portuguese. Fernando Santos’ men have been handed what looks like one of the easier groups in France, and will be hopeful that they can go far, especially if talisman Cristiano Ronaldo is at his brilliant best. With analysis from Ian Wright and Lee Dixon, and commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Glenn Hoddle. Kick Off 20:45

23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Top Gear 01:20 Panorama 01:50 The Truth About Dementia 02:50 Horizon 03:45 This is BBC Two

23:15 News 23:55 International Football Highlights 01:00 Murder, She Wrote 01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 ITV Nightscreen

20:00 Antiques Road Trip Auctioneers Charlie Ross and James Braxton cover L e i c e s t e r s h i r e , Buckinghamshire, Northamptonshire and Hertfordshire as they continue their bargain-hunting contest 21:00 Springwatch At the end of a dramatic week for wildlife on the Suffolk coast, Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan report live on all the latest action from RSPB Minsmere

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will and Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 Undercover Boss Canada 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Fifteen to One 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Shipping Wars 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it Kirstie and Phil meet the Alcorns in the Scottish Borders. The family live in a conservation area and with two children and no third bedroom they need Phil and Kirstie to help them decide if they should stay or go 22:00 Film - Le Week-End (15) Jim Broadbent, Lindsay Duncan and Jeff Goldblum star in this comedy-drama from director Roger Michell. Nick and Meg return to Paris many years after their honeymoon there in an attempt to rejuvenate their marriage 23:50 How to Get a Council House 00:50 An Immigrant’s Guide to Britain 01:20 Seventy with a Six Pack 02:15 The World’s Most Expensive Food 03:15 The Three Day Nanny 04:10 Posh Pawnbrokers 05:05 Location, Location, Location

DON´T MISS

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 News 13:15 Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS: New Orleans 16:15 Film - Jesse Stone: No Remorse 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railway Journeys Chris attempts to cross the length of Cuba, the only island in the Caribbean to boast an extensive railway network 21:00 Benefits Special: 18 Kids and Counting Job-seekers whose benefits have been reduced by the Government, including Doncaster single mum Sammy who has had her income support cut by 20 per cent after missing a job centre appointment 22:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door One-off special focusing on some of the most bitter feuds, including a woman in South Wales who was shocked to discover the truth about her neighbour’s deadly past 23:00 Tantastic: 50 Shades of Orange 00:00 Up Late with Rylan 00:45 Lip Sync Battle UK 01:15 Super Casino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 Caught on Camera 05:50 Wildlife SOS

On This Day

LIVING WITH DEMENTIA: CHRIS’S STORY

BBC One 21:00 SOAPS In Emmerdale, Lachlan now has pictures of Belle and Doctor Bailey on his phone. He warns Belle to meet him at Home Farm, or he’ll tell Doctor Bailey’s

Documentary filmed over almost two years, following 55-year-old Chris Roberts from North Wales as he, his wife Jayne and his youngest daughter Kate come to terms with his Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The programme reveals what life is really like for a family living with dementia using CCTV cameras, video diaries and a small film crew. Once a businessman and a keen biker, Chris chronicles his changing life as his independence slips away, from choosing a care home and writing a will, to getting lost in his own house and not recognising his family.

wife about her affair. When Belle finds out about the pictures, she accuses Lachlan of trying to blackmail her into sleeping with him. Lachlan is hurt by her suggestion and she backs

down, pleading with him not to tell anyone. Will Lachlan agree? Meanwhile, Robert is disturbed when Noah tells him that Liv has disappeared. He warns Noah not to tell Aaron and sets off to find her. With Aaron blissfully unaware that Liv is missing, will Robert find Liv before Aaron realises? And how will Robert react when he works out the identity of Liv’s bully? Elsewhere, Vanessa tells Marlon about Pierce breaking into her house. Worried about Rhona and Leo’s safety, Marlon vows to confront Pierce. Later,

1953: Queen Elizabeth takes coronation oath.

when Pierce and Rhona return from a romantic lunch and start kissing on the sofa, will Marlon catch them in the act? Also today, Pollard is concerned to learn that David’s white blood cell count is down due to the chemo and he is at a greater risk of infection. In Eastenders, Ian is determined to fix his troubled family, but things take a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, when Jay checks in on Roxy, she tells him that she is determined to change things for the better. Roxy then reaches out to Amy, but she is stopped by

07:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Dinner Date 08:15 Ellen DeGeneres 09:00 Emmerdale 09:30 Coronation Street 10:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:30 Psych 11:20 Scorpion 12:15 Dinner Date 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 14:45 Ellen DeGeneres 15:35 Jeremy Kyle 18:50 Take Me Out 20:00 Love Island 20:30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Love Island 23:00 Safeword 23:50 Family Guy 01:10 American Dad! 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 The Cleveland Show 03:00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 03:25 Teleshopping ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 Where the Heart Is 09:30 The Royal 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Murder, She Wrote 12:55 The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart Is 17:10 In Loving Memory 17:45 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Wycliffe 00:05 The Knock 01:20 A Touch of Frost 03:15 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping ITV4 07:00 Minder 08:00 The Chase 09:00 Fifth Gear 10:00 Cycling: Tour Series Highlights 11:00 TT 2016 12:00 Live French Open Tennis 21:00 The Chase 22:00 River Monsters 23:00 Barcelona’s European Glory 23:15 TT 2016 00:20 Fastest 02:35 TT 2016 03:40 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Trev Massey, 14:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Gordon Lack 19:00 Andy James

Jack. Later, Andy takes a shine to Roxy.

annoy Buster and Roxy offers to help.

Elsewhere, Donna grows frustrated when Buster takes advantage of having no market inspector. She tells Roxy her plans to expand the market stall to

Also today, Claudette asks for Donna’s help with speaking to Vincent. Donna tries her best, but Vincent refuses to speak about Claudette.

Food & Drink

Friday 27th May 2016

The big weekend breakfast There’s nothing wrong with pushing the boat out for breakfast, just as we sometimes do for lunch or dinner There’s nothing less relaxing than being told to relax. The same is true of certain meals: being asked to bring “a dish” to an informal party can be more stressful than being told exactly what to make. It’s the same with weekend breakfasts. However elaborate and involved the recipe, it’s often pitched as perfect for a lazy, Sunday morning or relaxed, weekend brunch. I have no doubt I’ve been guilty of this in the past, so, to redress the balance, I’m dedicating this and next week’s recipes to those among us who are unashamedly serious about their breakfast. These recipes make no bones about the fact that they require more planning and cooking than your basic boiled egg. Even so, the brisket can be cooked a day or two ahead, so you’ve got just a sand-

wich to fry on the day, while the pancake batter can be part-mixed the night before. Mind you, all that prep perpetuates the delightful illusion of the casual weekend breakfast. Sweet potato pancakes with maple-glazed bacon The batter can be made a day ahead, up to the stage before the egg whites are added. Serves four. 450g sweet potatoes 85g plain flour ¾ tsp baking powder ¾ tsp ground cumin Salt 2 eggs, separated 70ml whole milk 20g unsalted butter, melted, plus 50g diced, for frying 2 tsp maple syrup 4 spring onions, thinly sliced 1 green chilli, finely chopped 25g coriander leaves, roughly chopped 5g tarragon leaves, finely chopped For the salad

250g long radishes, quartered lengthways 15g coriander leaves 15g rocket 2 tsp olive oil 1 tbsp lemon juice For the topping 8 slices smoked streaky bacon

2 tbsp maple syrup Heat the oven to 220°C/425F/gas mark 7. Put the whole, unpeeled sweet potatoes on an oven tray and roast for an hour, until soft and browned, then remove and leave to cool. Peel and discard the skin, then put the flesh in a clean

J-cloth or piece of muslin. Draw up the sides, roll into a ball and squeeze out any liquid: you should be left with about 180g of flesh. Turn down the oven to 160C/320F/gas mark 2½. In a bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, cumin and threequarters of a teaspoon of salt. Put the egg yolks, milk, melted butter and maple syrup in a second bowl, whisk to combine, then stir into the dry ingredients. Add the sweet potato, spring onion, chilli and herbs, and stir until smooth. Whisk the egg whites in a separate bowl until stiff, then gently fold in. Melt half the diced butter in a large frying pan on a medium heat. When it starts to foam, spoon in three heaped tablespoons of the batter and gently spread out into a pancake 7-8cm wide and 1.5cm thick. Repeat until you have three or four pancakes

in the pan, then fry for three to four minutes, turning halfway, when bubbles appear in the middle. Transfer to an oven tray lined with baking paper, and repeat with the rest of the batter, wiping clean the pan and adding butter as needed. You’ll end up with eight pancakes. Mix all the salad ingredients with an eighth of a teaspoon of salt. Heat the grill. Place the bacon on a wire rack on top of a foil-lined tray and brush with half the maple syrup. Grill for two minutes, until the bacon starts to turn crisp, then turn, brush with the remaining syrup and grill for a minute or two, until crisp. Just before serving, warm the pancakes in the oven, then put two on each plate, topping each portion with two slices of bacon. Spoon the salad alongside and serve.

Jerk chicken burgers with chunky sweetcorn relish Chicken breasts make these spicy burgers super-quick to put together

Ingredients 4 chicken breast fillet portions 45 g spicy jerk paste 1 yellow pepper, deseeded and cut into wide strips 0.5 red pepper, deseeded

and cut into wide strips 1.5 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp dried mixed herbs 3 tbsp sweetcorn relish 198 g tinned sweetcorn in water, drained 1 red chilli, washed, deseed-

ed and chopped 4 bread rolls, halved 1/4 round lettuce, leaves separated, washed and torn, to serve 180 g low fat deli-style coleslaw, to serve

Method 1 Put the chicken between two sheets of cling film and press with the heel of your hand to flatten slightly. Brush the jerk paste all over the chicken. Chill in the fridge until you are ready to grill. 2 Meanwhile, put the slices of pepper in a bowl with 1 tablespoon of the oil and the dried mixed herbs. Season with freshly ground black pepper and mix until well combined. Set aside.3 Preheat a barbecue or grill to hot. Put the chicken on the barbecue or in a griddle pan and cook for 10 minutes, turning halfway, until cooked through with no pink remaining. After the chicken has been cooking for about 3 minutes, add the peppers to the grill and cook alongside the chicken for the remaining 7 minutes, turning once. 4 Meanwhile, mix together the relish, drained sweetcorn and chilli. Set aside.

5 Just before the chicken and peppers are cooked, brush the cut side of the rolls with the remaining oil and lightly grill cut-side down until golden. 6 To serve, put the chicken,

peppers, relish and coleslaw out on plates or platters and let everyone build their own burgers. Veggie tip: replace the chicken breast fillets with Quorn fillets.

top

Food & Drink

Perfect summer tapas recipes

Dessert

Chocolate-Tahini Truffles Ingredients

SERVINGS: MAKES 20 3 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted ½ cup tahini 2 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more 1 teaspoon vegetable oil ¼ cup black wild rice

Directions Place a parchment-lined baking sheet in the refrigerator to chill. Mix chocolate, tahini, sugar, and 1 tsp. salt in a medium bowl with a rubber spatula; chill until firm, about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, heat oil in a large skillet until smoking. Cook rice, stirring constantly. After about 1 minute it will start to puff and pop open, revealing the tan inside of the grain. Once all grain is popped, quickly transfer to paper towels; season with salt. Let cool (rice should be very toasty and crisp; if grains are chewy, start over). Scoop chocolate mixture by the heaping teaspoonful and roll into balls. Place on chilled baking sheet. Chill 5 minutes, then roll in puffed rice to coat. Chill 10 minutes, then serve.

Friday 27th May 2016

Fried artichokes Serves 6 1 lemon, halved 1.5-2kg small, young globe artichokes 2 tbsp lard (optional) 2-4 tbsp olive oil 150g serrano ham, diced 1 tbsp chopped parsley salt Squeeze the juice from one lemon half and add it to a large bowl of water. Break off the artichoke stems and remove the coarse outer leaves. Cut off the tips of the remaining leaves. Cut the artichokes in half lengthwise and remove and discard the chokes. Rub the artichokes with the remaining lemon half and place them in the acidulated water. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil. Add the artichokes and bring back to the boil, then lower the heat, cover and simmer for about 25 minutes, until tender. (Test by gently pulling a leaf; it should come away easily.) Drain the artichokes well,

turning them upside down and pressing gently. Melt the lard, if using, with 2 tablespoons of the olive oil in a pan. If not using lard, add 2 tablespoons more oil and heat. Add the ham and artichokes and cook gently, stirring occasionally, for 8 minutes. Sprinkle with the parsley and serve immediately. Lentils with bacon and sausages Serves 6 1 small onion 2 cloves 600g puy lentils bay leaf 1 carrot cut into 4 pieces 2 garlic cloves, unpeeled 250g bacon, in a single piece 12 small sausages 275ml olive oil salt Stud the onion with the cloves. Put the puy lentils into a pan, add the onion, bay leaf, pieces of carrot, garlic cloves and bacon and pour in water to cover gen-

erously. Cover and bring to the boil, then lower the heat and simmer for 60-90 minutes, until the lentils are tender. Drain the lentils, reserving the cooking liquid. Remove the onion, bay leaf, garlic, carrot and bacon. Cut the bacon into small cubes and set aside. Prick the sausages if they have artificial casings. Heat the olive oil in a skillet or frying pan. Add the sausages and cook, turning frequently, for about 5 minutes, until lightly browned and cooked through. Remove from the skillet and keep warm. Drain off about half the oil from the skillet and reheat. Add the cubes of bacon and cook, stirring, for about 3 minutes, then add the lentils. Stir well and season to taste with salt. Put the lentils into a warm serving dish, place the sausages on top and serve immediately. Some people prefer a little more liquid in the finished dish. If so, reserve and add some cooking liquid from the lentils to achieve the desired consistency. It is worth reserving the stock anyway in case there are any lentils left over. They can be puréed in a food processor to make a thick soup, which can be garnished with croutons or a little white rice.

Strawberry pavlova with a hint of chilli

SERVES Six to eight INGREDIENTS For the meringue butter or oil, for greasing 3 large egg whites, at room temperature 175g caster sugar ½ tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp cornflour, sifted, plus extra for dusting ¾ tsp white wine vinegar (to keep the meringue moist) For the fruit topping 150g raspberries 1 tsp ground Kashmiri mirch or good quality chilli powder of your choice 50g icing sugar 25ml fresh lemon juice 350–400g strawberries, hulled and cut into halves and quarters For the cream filling 300ml double cream ½ tbsp caster sugar 1 drop of vanilla extract METHOD Pre-heat the oven to 120°C, 250°F, gas mark ½. Cut out a 20cm circle of non-stick baking paper. Grease it lightly and dust with cornflour, shaking off the excess. Place it on a baking sheet. To make the meringue, use an electric whisk to beat the egg whites in a deep bowl until they just hold a peak. Gradually whisk in the

sugar, a third at a time, and keep whisking until the mixture is very stiff and shiny. Fold in the vanilla extract, cornflour and vinegar. Spoon the mix on to the prepared paper and spread it out to cover the paper entirely, making sure the edges are a little higher than the middle, to hold the filling. Bake for about 1½ hours, until the top and sides are slightly golden but the middle remains sticky. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool. Then gently remove the non-stick baking paper. Leave until cold. To make the fruit topping, blitz the raspberries and chilli powder in a blender. Pass the mixture through a sieve into a medium bowl to remove the seeds. Stir in the icing sugar and lemon juice, then pour over the strawberries. Leave to marinate for at least an hour in the fridge before assembling the pavlova. Now whip the cream to stiff peaks and stir in the caster sugar and vanilla extract. Spread liberally on top of the pavlova base. Top with the strawberries and some of their raspberry chilli sauce then serve.

Friday 27th May 2016

Food & Drink

The best Nutribullet breakfast smoothie

Tesco launch cauliflower and mushroom 'steaks' to replace meat at barbecues

The Nutribullet has quickly become one of the nation's favourite kitchen devices: it was a best-seller last Christmas, with one gadget sold every 30 seconds in John Lewis. Everyone seems to have one, including the Duchess of Cambridge. For those unfamiliar with the gadget, the NutriBullet is

an extractor which pulverises vegetables, nuts, seeds and even the pips and stalks of your fruits. Here, we bring you the best breakfast smoothie recipes, featuring everything from almond to beetroot, that you can blitz up in seconds. I created this vibrant yellow smoothie when I had a nasty

flu and was desperate to get better. Antioxidant-packed citrus fruit and fresh ginger unite to kick any cold or flu's behind. If you're feeling really desperate, like I was, add a small amount of cayenne pepper to the mix. You'll be breathing free and clear in no time! Word on the street is that cayenne pepper also boosts your metabolism. SERVES 1 INGREDIENTS 2 medium seedless navel oranges, peeled, 2 tbsp. of fresh lemon juice, or to taste, 1 tsp. grated fresh ginger, or to taste

1-3 tsp. pure maple syrup, to taste, 3-5 ice cubes METHOD In a high speed blender, combine all of the ingredients and blend until smooth. Drink and get ready to feel better in a flash.

Little chefs: how to encourage your children to cook

We all know the story. Cooking with children is good news. If you can teach them to grill a chop, make a tomato sauce and knock up a simple soup from a few oddments of veg, you are setting them up for a lifetime of healthy eating. And with half term on the horizon, what better time to head for the kitchen? So far, so good. But the reality of getting

children – or grandchildren – involved in meal preparation is rather more fraught than you might suppose. When mine were preschoolers, I spent many hours trying to emulate the glossy magazine photographs of immaculate children rolling dough with their smiling mother – only to end up foul-tempered and encrusted with gunk.

Never mind the safety anxieties, tinies have scant regard for kitchen hygiene, with fingers darting from nose to mixing bowl faster than you can say, “Snot there!” And by the time they are teenagers, the burden of homework and hormones means persuading them to spend time learning how to roast a chicken – well, it’s enough to make even par-

ents roll their eyes and mutter “whatever”. The sweet spot, according to Jenny Chandler, whose new book Cool Kids Cook has just been published, is in between – from seven to 12, to be precise. “At this age they can really achieve something,” she says. Chandler’s book is packed with recipes for real food – there are no cupcakes or smiley-faced pizzas. “I wanted to write about real food that families would want to share – not gimmicks or cupcakes.” Her nine-year-old daughter Imogen inspired the book and appears in many of the photographs. Cooking may also help fussy eaters, says Chandler. “Children are so much more adventurous if they are in control, if they’ve cooked the dish rather than have it put in front of them. So they’ll have a wider diet if they cook.”

There are now quite a lot of exciting options for vegetarians at barbecues - vegetarian sausages smothered in ketchup and cheese for the less refined, or homemade, bright, interesting salads and veggie burgers flavoured with interesting spices for those with a more culinary leaning. Even simple, golden slabs of fried halloumi can feel summery and decadent. No wonder, as Tesco says in a press release, demands for the veggie option at BBQs have gone up by 20 per cent. Tesco has decided to take the herbivorous diet literally by launching cauliflower and mushroom 'steaks', presumably following on from the trend of faking pasta by cutting up a courgette. They said: "BBQ parties are set to become a whole lot more exciting for vegetarians. "While veggie burgers and sausages have been around for years Monday will see the launch of the UK’s first ever cauliflower and mushroom BBQ steaks." These 'steaks' are just literally slabs of the vegetable, accompanied by some sauce.

Now, we haven't tried these yet, but they make a Quorn-stuffed bap seem if not more interesting, more substantial. Before we make up our minds, let's hear more from Tesco: “We’ve decided to help by creating the UK’s first ever cauliflower and Portobello mushroom steaks which we believe is an irresistibly delicious option, but not only to vegetarians but also to meat eaters. “The cauliflower steak comes with a zingy lemon and garlic drizzle while the portobello mushroom comes with a sumptous peppercorn sauce. “Cauliflower steaks and portobello mushroom burgers are already very popular in trendy restaurants around the country and in recipes from celebrity chefs such as Jamie Oliver but this is the first time they’ve ever been available in high street supermarkets.” Despite being 'trendy' and 'irresistible', seeing a portobello mushroom at a BBQ will surely bring back traumatic memories for any vegetarian who has ordered a veggie burger and been presented with a single, sad portobello mushroom in brioche.

Food & Drink

Friday 27th May 2016

DVD’S

Record Of The Week!

Andy James – our 7pm 9pm presenter went out on a limb this week with his choice of TKO record of the week, picking a brand new tune that was only just released. He called it the Hit of the summer – and it would seem that after its first airing at the Eurovision Song Contest – he was spot on – with Justin Timberlake and Cant Stop the Feeling hitting the number 1 slot in the charts immediately. As he said...its a feel good – happy tune – and there are not many of those about recently ! This week sees the choice of our weekend presenter Suzy G – I wonder what direction she will choose! Tune into Suzy G on TKO – from 12 to 3 on Saturdays and Sundays to find out ! Once each presenter has had their choice, we will then extend the selection of the track to our listeners and advertisers. This could be a wonderful opportunity for a sponsor too – imagine your name and business being promoted Live 5 times a day by the best presenters on the costa’s - covering a massive area of coastline and inland. So don´t forget to tune into TKO 91.9 & 90.8fm and www.tko.fm every day from 8am to hear. The brand new Record Of The Week! For sponsorship deals and advertising please call 966 921 003 or email office@tko.media

BOX OFFICE

TOP 10

1. The Angry Birds Movie 2. Captain America: Civil War 3. Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising 4. The Nice Guys 5. The Jungle Book 6. Money Monster 7. The Darkness 8. Zootopia 9. The Huntsman: Winter's War 10 .Mother's Day

Colonia

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE REVIEW DIRECTOR Clay Kaytis, Fergal Reilly GENRE Animation SYNOPSIS Flightless birds lead a mostly happy existence, except for Red (Jason Sudeikis), who just can't get past the daily annoyances of life. RELEASE DATE 13 May 2016 DURATION 97 mins The film begins on a tropical island populated entirely by happy bird-creatures -- well, almost entirely. Our short-tempered hero, Red, has been sentenced to anger management, where he meets a speed-demon fowl named

Chuck and a volatile bomb called, er... Bomb. But when a boatload of green pigs show up and drop anchor on Red's home, he and his buddies take it upon themselves to figure out what these mysterious porkers are up to. If there's one thing The Angry Birds Movie gets absolutely right, it's pairing the characters with their voice counterpart. Red's sarcastic one-liners and short temper are a great fit for SNL alum Jason Sudeikis, and Frozen's Josh Gad churns out a high-energy performance as the motormouthed Chuck. Danny McBride is also up to the task

as Bomb, along with a bevy of comedians like Maya Rudolph ("Matilda"), Keegan-Michael Key ("Judge Peckinpah"), Bill Hader ("Leonard the Pig") and Kate McKinnon ("Stella"), as well as Sean Penn as Terrance, whose only lines are a series of grunts and murmurs. That's not to say this style of comedy doesn't yield a few gems. I shamefully lost it when Chuck and Bomb start drinking and bathing out of Mighty Eagle's "Lake of Wisdom," only to find out it was his personal urinal. Not surprisingly, though, the showstopper and highlight of

Angry Birds is the final act, which is basically a revved-up version of the mobile game. Here, the birds start hurling themselves at the pigs' fortresses, causing them to collapse. Clearly, this is where the filmmakers spent most of their time and effort, but it pays off really well. Not only does every bird get their moment to shine -- including more obscure ones like Hal and Bubbles -- but it's done in such a way that's both funny and visually exciting. At the same time, The Movie delivers a positive message of "It's okay to be angry sometimes”.

Corpus Christi, a holiday about the Valencian society

From 26th to 29th of May, the streets of Valencia and Ciutat Vella are decorated for one of the most beautiful celebrations in Spain. Beyond the religious meaning, the feast of Corpus Christi in Valencia is a celebration that speaks directly about the Valencian society, its merry nature and the importance of symbols in this region. The origin of this festivity is in 1355, and until the 19th century it was considered the most important holiday of the city. Today, thanks to the work of Amics del Corpus association of the City of Valencia, the celebration is regaining the vitality of past centuries. From 26th to 29th of May the streets of Valencia and Ciutat Vella are decorated for most beautiful celebration in Spain. You can enjoy the Corpus procession, the

Procession of the Convite, the “Translado de las Rocas” (the path to the “Plaza de la Virgen” of the triumphal cars, representing the biblical mysteries) and traditional dances. This festivity is always held 60 days after Easter Sunday. If you want to delve into the origins and mysteries of this city you cannot miss this celebration, filling with a festive atmosphere the historic center of Valencia. Discover the hidden city, which does not appear in the guides. The old town of Valencia, one of the largest in Europe, will dress with flowers the facades and windows, and a different Valencia will appear, a city that can only be seen during those four days of magic, color and dreams. For more information you can visit their website: http://www.corpusvalenciaamics.com

Young couple Daniel and Lena happen to find themselves tangled up in the 1973 military coup in Chile. The secret police, led by Augusto Pinochet, t a k e Daniel against his will which leaves Lena to t r a c k h i m down. She finds him in the South end of the country, in a restricted area- Colonia Dignidad. The Colonia is an area run by Paul Schafer, a lay preacher and calls the area a charitable mission, however it is not. There has never been anyone who has left the Colonia alive. Lena finally makes the decision to join the Colonia to find her missing love.

Mr. Right Martha is a young woman who is devastated from having just endured a m e s s y break-up with her l a s t boyfriend. As she is trying to pull hers e l f together, a l o n g comes a man who seems tailor-made for her. The two of them quickly fall into a passionate romance, but he has a very troubling secret.

Anomalisa Self-help author Michael Stone is preparing to promote his latest book at a convention. While getting ready, he decides to try to reconnect with an old fling, despite being married. This goes poorly and the angry Michael finds himself in an adult t o y shop, where he is intrigued by an animatronic voice. When he returns to his hotel, he meets a woman named Lisa, and they fall in love quickly.

Friday 27th May 2016

Adventures Of

Hi everybody from TKO Teddy and having rested up my paws last week to enjoy the weather and get my home in fine fettle for the summer, we are back out and about across the Southern Costa Blanca and Mar Menor meeting loads of you. Look out for my biggish head and ears and come and say hello to me, and I’ll give you a nice hug, plus get some photos done of you and your friends and get them put onto my Facebook page, TKO Teddy! I can’t believe that I was kidnapped nearly two months ago to get a ransom for our friends at Samaritans in Spain, and the response from you was terrific. We even got a special certificate from Samaritans in Spain

and their retiring general manager, Stephen Baker, and his replacement Beverley Duffin. I love all the fun of the fair, and I popped down on Monday night for a sneak preview of June’s official full opening of the Torrevieja Fun Fair by the marina. It was a big win for me as I managed to hook up with a lot of my mates there and get some nice pictures taken, and the clincher was getting on all the rides without having to queue up. How good was that I’m a big fellow, so I needed extra help getting into some of the seating, which would have upset a few folk if it was busy, so thanks to all the crew for helping me out! See TKO Teddy on Facebook.

Friday 27th May 2016

Health

Friday 27th May 2016

Scientists at war over controversial 'eat fat to get thin' obesity report Contact@medb.es

Website: www.medb.es

The National Obesity Forum is challenging the advice that low-fat diets are healthy

A row has broken out in the scientific community after the authors of a controversial report that challenges Government dietary advice accused critics of taking money from the food industry. The National Obesity Forum and the Public Health

Collaboration, which published the document, said the nutritional “establishment” was “stuck in the dark ages” and that senior academics had been compromised by commercial interests. The report, Eat fat, cut the carbs and avoid snacking to

reverse obesity and Type 2 diabetes, says 30 years of official dietary advice urging people to lower their cholesterol and adopt low-fat diets has caused a “disastrous” increase in junk food and carbohydrates consumption. Professor Susan Jebb, a nutrition expert at Oxford University, yesterday led a chorus of senior scientific voices condemning the document as non-rigorous and irresponsible. But one of the authors of the report, consultant cardiologist Dr Aseem Malhotra, said the former Government advisor’s view had been biased because she had “taken funding from Weight Watchers and Coca-Cola”. In turn, Professor Jebb questioned the National

Obesity Forum’s motives after accusing it of accepting funding form the pharmaceutical industry. The spat took place as Public Health England, the body that publishes official dietary guidance, was forced to defend the scientific integrity of its advice after it emerged that nearly half of a reference group responsible for producing its recent Eatwell graphic was made up of food industry members. “A huge industry has developed for the marketing of drugs to lower cholesterol but specifically around lowfat foods that are loaded with sugar,” said Dr Malhotra. “I also think there is a problem of commercial influ-

ence biasing the views of academics. “If you are getting research funding from the food industry then you don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Professor Jebb said the crisis in obesity and diabetes was not the result of incorrect official advice, but because only around five percent of people are following it. She defended collaborating in two studies, funded by Coca-Cola and Weight Watchers respectively, the results of which were peer reviewed and published in respected scientific journals. “I have always taken the view that it wouldn’t be right to take anything personally

from the food industry, but there are times when the industry should pay for some research,” she said. “It’s much better that the research is conducted and published by independent scientists than the industry carries it out themselves.” Professor David Haslam, chair of the National Obesity Forum, said the group had not received any funding or sponsorship from any outside body for the last three years and lamented the scientific community’s response to the report. “They are luddites and they are in the dark ages,” he said. “But I think the intransigence they have shown proves the report was the right thing to do.

Too fat for Facebook: photo banned! Facebook has apologized for banning a photo of a plus-sized model

Facebook has apologized for banning a photo of a plus-sized model and telling the feminist group that posted the image that it depicts “body parts in an undesirable manner”. Cherchez la Femme, an Australian group that hosts popular culture talkshows with “an unapologetically

feminist angle”, said Facebook rejected an advert featuring Tess Holliday, a plus-sized model wearing a bikini, telling the group it violated the company’s “ad guidelines”. After the group appealed against the rejection, Facebook’s ad team initially defended the decision, writ-

ing that the photo failed to comply with the social networking site’s “health and fitness policy”. “Ads may not depict a state of health or body weight as being perfect or extremely undesirable,” Facebook wrote. “Ads like these are not allowed since they make viewers feel bad about themselves. Instead, we recommend using an image of a relevant activity, such as running or riding a bike.” In a statement on Monday, Facebook apologized for its original stance and said it had determined that the photo does comply with its guidelines. “Our team processes millions of advertising images each week, and in some instances we incorrectly prohibit ads,” the statement said. “This image does not violate our ad policies. We apologize for the error and

have let the advertiser know we are approving their ad.” The photo – for an event called Cherchez La Femme: Feminism and Fat – features a smiling Holliday wearing a standard bikini. Facebook had originally allowed the event page to remain, but refused to approve the group’s advert, which would have boosted the post. The policy in question is aimed at blocking content that encourages unhealthy weight loss – the opposite intent of Cherchez la Femme, which was promoting body positivity. This is not the first time Facebook has come under fire for its censorship of photos. In March, the site faced backlash when it concluded that a photograph of topless Aboriginal women in ceremonial paint as part of a protest violated “community standards”.

MedB Health Dr M. Mannu

Friday 27th May 2016

How Cholesterol-Lowering Statins Damage the Heart

Those prescribed statins to lower cholesterol never hear of the deadly sideeffects associated with the drug. But side-effects are more than just ‘ side-effects’. They are unwanted effects of prescription drugs that affect anyone taking them, however when those effects become severe in some people; they are called sideeffects. In other words, the

side-effects of statins will affect anyone taking them, but at varying degrees. Statins are prescribed to stop the body from producing cholesterol based on the false assumption that high cholesterol is the cause of heart diseases and stroke. Nothing can be further from the truth. But statins don’t just stop the production of cholesterol;

they also block the production of the most vital compound required to generate cellular energy known as CoQ10. Your body requires energy to carry out your day to day activity, and this energy is generated inside your cells. The body is made up of billions of cells, and these cells come together to form organs. In reality, the diseases that affect our organs are actually affecting our cells. And to remain healthy and perform optimally, cells must generate energy for maintenance and repairs. CoQ10 is the main ingredient required to generate cellular energy. When CoQ10 levels are low, cells are unable to generate energy, and This leads to serious disease in all organs of the body, especial-

ly organs that require a lot of energy such as the heart and brain. Statins block the pathway in the body that manufactures cholesterol, and unfortunately, the same pathway is also responsible for manufacturing CoQ10. Some of the commonest side effects of Statins are also similar to the side effects of Low levels of CoQ10 in the body including chronic fatigue and muscle weakness. Some common side effects of statins are extreme tiredness, joint and muscle pain, depression, memory loss, and aggressive behaviour. Over 1000 studies have linked statins to chronic diseases such as Heart Attacks, Diabetes, Neuropathies

(Nerve damage), Kidney and Liver Diseases and Cancer. Contrary to popular belief, cholesterol is not the cause of heart diseases and stroke. Cholesterol is a vital nutrient required for producing all hormones in the body as well as many vital chemicals. Cholesterol is also an essential nutrient for manufacturing the protective barrier around all our cells and nerves. The concept of good or bad cholesterol is false. There is only one cholesterol. What we know as good and bad cholesterol are transporters that move cholesterol from one part of the body to another. Cholesterol will rise in the body, as a protective measure to counteract inflammation.Taking medications that reduce cholesterol will expose the body to

unchecked inflammation. People who have to take statins must consider taking a good source of CoQ10 supplements to counteract the damage done when statins deplete CoQ10 from the body. MitoQ is the latest and the most advanced form of CoQ10 available today. MitoQ is over 800 times more powerful than other CoQ10 supplements in the market today. Unlike other CoQ10 supplements, MitoQ is also able to travel deep inside the cells, to supply CoQ10 to the energy generating centres where it is needed the most. Visit www.mitoq.com for more information. To order call MedB Clinic: 965071745 For a Full Body Diagnostic Scan Call: 965071745, or visit www.medb.es

Wristband that can tell if you've been drinking wins US award A San Francisco-based company has won a US government-sponsored competition with an alcohol monitoring devices that can be worn on the wrist, the latest milestone in the devel-

opment of wearable technologies that monitor and diagnose medical conditions. BACtrack, a privately held medical device maker, took the $200,000 top prize in

the National Institutes of Health Wearable Biosensor Challenge with its wristband monitor – dubbed BACtrack Skyn – which measures blood alcohol levels via sweat on the skin.

Dr George Koob said he expected the device to be a valuable resource for alcohol research community. “It can help doctors accurately measure a patient’s drinking history, and not just depend on the most recent tests,” Koob said. “This can help a lot with the treatment.“ Medical, law enforcement and transportation officials have long sought better technology for detection of blood alcohol levels. Traditional portable breath alcohol testers are unwieldy and can cost over $1,000, and they do not provide ongoing monitoring of alcohol levels. “The blood alcohol monitoring devices used in legal and medical circles are big and bulky, like a ball and chain for the ones using it,” said Keith Nothacker, president of BACtrack. “We wanted to make some-

thing people would want to wear.“ The device in its current form will not, however, be a substitute for breathalyzers or blood tests used by law enforcement, because the device does not provide real-time bloodalcohol levels. Nothacker said it takes about 45

minutes for ethanol to be transmitted through the skin, and that the device is designed to provide a recent history of alcohol use. BACtrack has been experimenting with consumer-centric alcohol testing for several years. Back in 2013, it introduced the BACtrack Mobile Breathalyzer, which syncs with a smartphone to track blood alcohol content, which was a great sucess.

Dave Silver

Friday 27th May 2016

Charabanc To Bangor? Don't Bank On It! DIDN'T we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor? Well, no we didn't. Actually, we never even got to Bangor. Indeed we never intended going to Bangor. We were meant to be going to Blackpool. But we didn't get there either Confused? No more than Colin the coach driver who was supposed to be taking the pub regulars on their annual outing to the Fylde coast. It was Dave the barman who first sensed that something was wrong. He said: 'I believe I am the first passenger to sense that some-

thing is wrong.' To a man, we all responded: 'Huh?' I use the expression 'to a man' advisedly because the only woman usually to be found in our midst didn't happen to be in our midst on the coach. Our leader, guide and mentor Andromeda Arkwright had gone on ahead to Blackpool to make last-minute arrangements for the visit to our sister pub in the Lancashire resort. The Gerbil With Two Necks was our sister pub because it was owned by Dave the barman's brother. I

suppose I should have referred to it as our brother pub. But it just doesn't sound right. 'What do you mean by spoiling our anticipatory enjoyment by announcing that there is something wrong?' we coach travellers asked Dave the barman. 'Just look out of the coach windows,' mein host responded. 'The road signs are in two languages.' 'So what?' we responded. 'Well, I believe one of those languages happens to be Welsh.' 'And the other language?' asked Daft Barry. 'English, you idiot,' said Dave the barman. Daft Barry sighed in frustration. 'But I can't see a thing out of my window. There's a thick fog.' 'Well, it's clear and sunny on my side of the coach,' insisted Indoor Lou. 'That's because Fag Ash Bill has his upper body sticking out of the window on Daft Barry's side of the

coach,' said Fearful Phil. 'It's Bill's non-stop cigarette smoking that's causing all the trouble. It's not FOGGY out there. It's FUGGY.' 'Fag Ash Bill wouldn't be able to stick his top half out of the window if we were on a modern coach instead of this clapped-out charabanc,' said Indoor Lou. 'What I don't understand is that Fag Ash Bill can stick his upper body out of the window without losing his balance and falling out onto the road,' said Fearful Phil. 'That's because Dave Silver is clinging onto Fag Ash Bill's legs,' said Indoor Lou. 'No I'm not!' I lied and held up both of my empty hands to compound the fib. At which point Fag Ash Bill fell out of the window onto the road. Colin the coach driver slammed on the brakes and the coach came to a halt. Fag Ash Bill was a bit shaken but otherwise unhurt. We decided that he need-

ed a lie-down so we placed him in the luggage compartment next to the snoring horizontal figure of Ol' Red Eyes who had instructed us to wake him up when we got to Blackpool. 'But that's my whole point!' declared Dave the barman as we set off again. 'We're not going to Blackpool. We're heading for Wales. Indeed, those double-language road signs tell me that we're already in Wales.' 'It's all of your faults!' Colin the coach driver accused us. 'If you hadn't been singing "Day Trip to Bangor" I wouldn't have got confused and driven to Wales.' 'Hang on a second,' I said, my hands still hurting from dangling Fag Ash Bill out of the window for so long. 'Might I suggest that instead of turning around and heading back to Blackpool, we stay on this road and go to Bangor instead?'

'Impossible,' said Colin the coach driver. 'I have to return the charabanc by 5.30pm so I'm afraid we won't have time to go to Bangor or Blackpool.' 'What's so special about 5.30pm?' I asked. 'That's what time the scrapyard closes.' answered Colin the coach driver. 'This old bus is being broken up for parts. It's its final trip.' At which point smoke started pouring out from underneath the charabanc. 'What's Welsh for 999?' yelled Daft Barry as Colin the coach driver slammed on what remained of the brakes. But we had no need for concern. The coach wasn't on fire. It was just Fag Ash Bill having a crafty ciggy in the luggage compartment. 'Put that bloody fag out!' yelled Ol' Red Eyes, rousing from his slumber. There followed a muffled cough and the old codger's cry: 'Are we there yet?'

Thousands of driverless cars set to arrive on London's streets Driverless cars are coming to a road near you by 2020

Thousands of driverless cars could soon be motoring around London, Transport Secretary Patrick McLoughlin said today. The Cabinet minister backed the capital being at the centre of a motoring revolution as one major manufacturer announced it will trial 100 driverless family

cars in London from next year. Mr McLoughlin told The Standard: “Driverless cars are the future of the motoring industry and we are determined that the UK leads the way in developing this new technology. “These vehicles will make road travel safer, smoother

and smarter; transforming journeys for millions of people. “I expect to see thousands of these cars on London’s streets in the years to come.” Ministers are drawing up a masterplan to speed up the introduction, and takeup, of electric and driverless

cars and other vehicles. Engineers suggest that driverless cars, which can alert drivers to accidents and traffic jams, could eventually prevent 95 per cent of crashes. However, concerns remain over the safety of driverless cars. A video went viral last year when a self-parking car ploughed into journalists during a demonstration in the Dominican Republic. Experts suggested the crash may have been down to it having an active system installed to avoid other cars but not pedestrians. Swedish manufacturer Volvo announced today that a limited number of semiautonomous driving cars will take to the streets of London early next year, before the scheme is extended in 2018 to up to 100 vehicles. Family sport utility vehicles will be used in the tri-

als. They will be fitted with additional computer systems, cameras and sensors to enable them to carry out steering, lane changes, acceleration and braking without driver control.

Proposals sweeping away regulations that prevent autonomous driving are expected to be brought forward by the Government this summer that would allow driverless cars to take to the roads.

Friday 27th May 2016

Visit the website, n332.es

Tyre Safety Checks We Can All Do

Tyres are arguably one of the most important elements of a vehicle, however they are often so easily neglected, despite the abuse they can face on a regular basis. On a daily basis they are worn down through normal use, have to withstand heat and cold and are often bashed by potholes and kerbs, it is no real surprise that they can become easily damaged. It is for that reason that we must educate ourselves to pay more attention to our tyres, so that we can get the best out of them, and the safest driving experience possible.

It is important that our tyres have sufficient tread to enable them to maintain contact with the road surface in any weather conditions. The grooves in the tyres are used to displace surface content to ensure the tyres grip the road, and so it is only if there is enough of a gap for that surface material, water for example, to go into that the tyres remain efficient. The minimum tread depth of a tyre is 1.6 millimetres across the central ¾ of the tread around the complete circumference of the tyre. Many vehicle manufacturers recommend replacing at 3

millimetres. At 1.6 millimetres in wet weather it takes an extra two car lengths (8 metres) to stop at 50 mph than if your tread was 3 millimetres. Over or under inflated tyres will cause uneven wear and so the tread might also be uneven, possibly deeper on one side than the other. We can and should check the tyres on a regular basis to ensure that they are at their optimum inflation and with consistent tread. We need to get close to the tyre and look at each one of them separately. Firstly, we can feel around each tyre with our hands, including the sides, feeling for anything that doesn´t seem correct, such as bubbling or even items protruding from the tyre. It is possible for example for a tyre to contain a nail but the nail is plugging the hole it has made and so deflation can be very slow, despite this potentially dangerous situation. As we look around each tyre we should also check the tread. If the tyre is under inflated then there may be more wear towards he edges of the tyres. If a tyre is over inflated there could be more wear in the centre. As we work our way around the tyre we should also look within the tread pattern for

ridges between the tread. These are called the Principle Grooves and are indicators of tyre wear. We should check each tyre individually, including the spare, to make sure that the tread wear is consistent and sufficient. We should also check the tyre pressure, although we may have to go to a local service station to do this. Most modern vehicles have a plate stuck to them, often on or near the door, which indicated the optimum pressure under normal driving conditions. If not, you might have to check your manual. You should always check tyre pressure when they are cold. The tyres themselves also contain a series of numbers and letters which reveals a wealth of technical informa-

tion. The tyres your vehicle is fitted with are registered on your ITV card, although you can change them for another size with a tolerance up to 3% from the size you have on your ITV card. If you look at the side of the tyre you will see a sequence which looks something like this sample, “195 / 55 R 16 87V”. Here, “195” refers to 195 millimetres, the nominal section width of the tyre. “55” is 55%, the aspect ratio, representing the height of the tyre sidewall as a percentage of the nominal section width, i.e., in our case, 55% of 195mm. “R” stands for radial construction. “16” is the diameter of the tyre´s inner rim, this time in inches. “87” is the load capacity of the tyre. “V” indicates the maximum permitted speed.

Another code stamped onto the tyre reveals the month and year of manufacture. For example, a code “4108” indicates that the tyre was manufactured in week 41 of the year 2008. There are many cheap tyres on offer for sale which, when you look closely, might well be very old tyres. This is something to be very conscious of, especially as the recommendations are that tyres should be replaced at least every 5 years, so you might not be aware that you are replacing your tyres with those already older than the recommendation. Because of the importance of tyres and the functions they perform, it is always worthwhile spending that little extra effort, time and even money to ensure they are correct. Garages like Autos Direct in San Miguel will be able to check your tyres for you, if you have any doubt, and can recommend any remedial action you might need to take. However, it is also crucial that we each perform the basic checks mentioned here on a regular basis, at least monthly and every time before a long journey to ensure our vehicles are safe and at optimum performance for fuel efficiency.

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Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, all welcome to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org.

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Friday 27th May 2016

RICHARD CAVENDER

BlueMoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca. BlueMoon Solutions come to you at home or work, our personal service covers from Alicante to Pilar de la Horadada.

Richard moved to Spain ten years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: FIXED: Marcel wanted to know how to speed up ADVICE: Douglas wanted help transferring his photos to his computer from his Samsung phone. his android tablet.

Q A

Hi Richard I have Samsung tab 2 10.1, it is getting sluggish I have another tablet but the camera on it is not as good as my Samsung can anything be done to get it going like new again.Thanking you for your info.

Hi Marcel, probably the best way to get it back to how it was originally is to set it back to factory settings, this is called doing a hard reset – of course before you do this you should make sure that you have a safe, tested, backup copy of any important information that is on the tablet. In order to wipe the device and perform a hard reset, you should do the following… 1 Power the device off. 2. Press and hold the Volume up button then press and hold the Power button. 3. When the Samsung logo appears, release all. 4. Select wipe data/factory reset. ... 5. Select Yes -- delete all user data. 6. Select reboot system now. Once completed you will need to set up all of your apps, email accounts and wifi access, just as you did when you first purchased the tablet.

Hi Richard,I have tried to download my photos on my mobile phone Samsung Galaxy S4 Model GT-19505 to my Laptop using Windows 10, and a USB cable to link into my Laptop,but It asks for a driver, and I am unable to get any further. Can you please show me how to proceed with this? I have had very good solutions to my problems, from you in the past, & am hoping that you can help me once again. Thanks in advance, Douglas.

Hi Douglas, probably the best way to synchronise any information from your Samsung phone would be to use the Kies software that is freely downloadable from the Samsung website, you can find a copy of the software for your phone here… http://www.samsung.com/uk/support/model/GT-I9505ZWABTU

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Office: 902 906 200 Mobile: 655 044 970 Don’t forget you can follow me on Facebook www.facebook.com/bluemoonsolutionsspain/ Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es/newsletter .

Friday 27th May 2016

Mayte’s Honour

Sevens Heaven

Almoradi’s Sports City complex has been named after the ex-international handball player, Mayte Andreu, in a special ceremony held last Saturday. The 80 times Spanish-capped player was in attendance with family and friends, with Almoradi mayor, Jaime Pérez unveiling a commemorative plaque in recognition

of Mayte who started his career with the Almoradi Handball club in the eighties. A large sign has been erected on the front of the building as well, with the mayor saying that it was the culmination of long campaign to name the complex after Almoradi’s most successful sportswoman.

Ping Pong Vets The Benidorm International Rugby Sevens tournament is being staged for the 30th time this weekend (Saturday May 28th and Sunday May 29th) and is once again featuring teams from around Europe as well as local representatives from Alicante and Elche.

The aim of the event, which is held as always at the Villajoyosa Rugby Club (La Vila), is to promote all levels of Rugby in Spain, especially on the Costa Blanca, with the two-day competition divided into Spanish, International, and Women’s groups.

Game, Set, and Repair

Two tennis courts at Catral’s Municipal Sports Centre are to be repaired by the local council at a cost of 24 thousand euros. The work, which will be done

over the next few weeks, will involve replacing all the artificial turf that has been worn out after ten years of use, along with repairing the court fencing.

Beach First

83 teams took part in the first ever beach volleyball tournament on San Pedro del Pinatar’s Villananitos beach recently.

250 matches were watched by a good crowd in the all-day event with prizes given across a range of age categories.

The 18th World Veteran Table Tennis Championships (WVC) started this week at the IFA Exhibition Centre in Elche and will finish this Sunday. Nine age categories, including one for the over-90’s, have seen competitors come to the area from all over the world, with a colourful opening ceremony launching the tournament on Monday.

Plain Sailing At least 20 crews have been confirmed for the annual Cartagena to Ibiza yacht race which will be staged during the last weekend of June. Organisers, the Real Club de Regatas de Cartagena, say that the 27th race will start on Thursday June 23rd at 11.00am with last year’s victors, Cañas, looking for another success.

Los Narejos Surf’s Up Los Narejos beach in Los Alcázares has been rated as one of the best areas for windsurfing in Spain according to a survey by website eltiempo.es The site says that Los Narejos has the best conditions for windsurfing with winds from the south, adding that the Mar Menor and La Manga area in general is a great place to learn the sport or improve your standard with guaranteed breezes and safe and shallow waters.

Bowls Feast

Organisers of the Línea Directa National Bowls Competition at the Emerald Isle on the Orihuela Costa say that they could not have wished for a better first week with both the weather and the standard of bowling, as the finals weekend has been reached with the last day of action tomorrow (Saturday). In the Ladies Singles, the major surprise of the first week saw current champion, Indalo’s Jan Dando, went out at the quarter final stage to former pro golfer, Simone Morgan (pictured) from Santa Maria, with the Malaga Champion of Champions runner- up coming from 9-2 down to take the match by 21-14. In the Men’s Singles, the Emerald Isle’s Frank Close goes into the semi-finals in good form against Quesada’s Chris Brazier. On his home turf, the genial Geordie is viewed as the man to beat having been only narrowly edged out in the recent final of the Champion of Champions competition at Greenlands. The Spanish Nationals Facebook page has the very latest news across the singles, pairs, and triples competitions.

Friday 27th May 2016

Ivie Davies on Golf

Speeding Up The Pace

After growing criticism over recent years on its lack of action on slow play on a golf course, the R&A has finally rolled up some sleeves with the Pace of Play manual finally revealing the R&A’s solution to one of golf’s biggest problems. The new manual will be distributed to every golf club in Great Britain and Ireland, as well as over 150 affiliated organisations around the world, and includes practical tips on management, course set-up and player behaviour. Available to download at www.randa.org/paceofplay, it offers lots of advice, which I’ve condensed below: R&A PACE OF PLAY MANUAL HIGHLIGHTS Tee-time intervals The R&A claim overcrowding is the most common cause of slow rounds. Its manual suggests eight minute gaps for two-balls, 10 minutes for three-balls and 12 minute intervals for fourballs. While in theory increasing starting intervals reduces the number of groups and therefore revenue, in reality shorter rounds mean that those

starting later will be guaranteed to complete their game, and so additional later tee times can be offered. Use a starter’s gap or two-tee start Having an empty teetime every 90 minutes will cater for ball searches and other delays, while two-tee or shortgun starts are also effective ways of getting more players around the course quickly. Ready golf Allowing players to play when they are ready to do so, rather than adhering strictly to the “farthest from the hole plays first” stipulation should be encouraged, except during match play games. Examples of ready golf include playing when someone in your group is assessing a tricky shot, shorter hitters playing first if longer hitters have to wait and hitting a shot before helping someone to look for a lost ball. Being ready to play should be very easy and considerable time will be saved if players do these things efficiently. For example, if each player in a four-ball that shoots 80 each takes an average of

five seconds less to play each shot they will save over 26 minutes (80 shots x five seconds x four players). Time par Try allocating a length of time to complete each hole, a certain number of holes or the full round. This can be printed on the scorecard or displayed on the course with signs like “Your group should have taken no longer than 75 minutes to reach this point”. It is recommended that different time pars are established for twoballs, three-balls and fourballs. Recommended tees and general course guidance It is helpful for players who are unfamiliar with the course to be given guidance on which tees they should favour and on anything to watch out for, such as course boundaries or water hazards that may not be visible from the tee Call-up procedures If there are drivable par 4s or par 3s where delays often occur, those managing the course may wish to introduce a procedure where the players stand aside once their balls are on the green to allow the

players from the tee to play their tee shots. In such instances, it is important to have good signage so golfers understand when such a procedure should be adopted Tee options There is strong evidence that suggests that having players play from tees that suit their ability not only improves the pace of play, but increases enjoyment, so courses should provide plenty of options. In particular, look at tee options on holes where it is clear that the green is designed to accept lofted shots, as opposed to low running shots. Similarly, bail out areas should be provided for those unable to make a carry. Fairways and rough Time spent searching for balls can be reduced by increasing fairway widths, extending the first cut so that balls that initially land on the fairway are less likely to run into deep rough and generally reducing the severity of rough so that it still provides a challenge but is less likely to conceal a ball. Reducing the height of the grass around greens to make chips eas-

ier, or to enable players to putt from off the green, will also help reduce slow play. Trees Pace of play may be improved if the ground beneath the trees is maintained in such a way that a ball can easily be found and a recovery shot on to the fairway is possible. If there is dense rough under the trees then not only is the ball harder to find, but the chance of advancing it with one shot is significantly reduced. Greens Pace of play will be negatively impacted when greens have severe slopes, are running at a quick pace and the holes are cut on or near the slopes. The impact of this combination is golfers taking more putts and taking longer to play. It is more important that greens are smooth and true than fast and firm. To provide some context on this point, at The Open, The R&A sets a maximum green speed target of 10½ feet on the stimpmeter. Being aware The basic advice is that if a group keeps up with the group in front, the players in that group will

rarely be accused of slow play. If ground has been lost on the group in front, then all of the players in the group should take responsibility for making up that ground as quickly as possible. If a group cannot keep its position on the course for whatever reason, then it should invite the group behind to play through, while the round time may be slightly increased, it is likely that the inviting group will enjoy its game more without being constantly pressurised. Don’t imitate professional golf The R&A has recognised that tour professionals make their living from the sport and, understandably, may wish to take slightly longer to assess their shots. In addition, their skill level is such that detailed information will have a bearing on shot selection and execution. This is not the case for the vast majority of amateurs and, therefore, it is often unnecessary for them to do things like study the line of a putt from multiple angles and mark a ball that is very close to the hole before holing out.

TITTER ON THE TEE John played a round of golf employing the services of a caddy. He was having a lousy game and decided to blame it on the caddy. He shouted, "You are such a terrible caddy that, when we get back to the clubhouse, I'm going to get you fired!" The caddy replied "That's OK by me! By the time we get back there I'll be old enough to retire!"

The Courier Sport

Friday 27th May 2016

Roberto’s Farewell Loss

Champions League Final

Internationals Friday 27 May 17:30 18:00 20:30 20:45 20:45 20:45

Slovakia v Georgia Czech Republic v Malta Croatia v Moldova England v Australia Northern Ireland v Belarus Republic of Ireland v Netherlands

Saturday 28 May

01:10 Uruguay v Trinidad and Tobago 01:30 Argentina v Honduras 01:30 Chile v Jamaica 16:15 Switzerland v Belgium

CD BENIJOFAR 3 CD MONTESINOS 2 The final match of the season for CD Montesinos saw a defeat at Benijofar which saw Monte surrender their fourth position in the table (ironically to Benijofar), and before a ball had been kicked in anger, the news came out that their manager, Roberto Cases, was leaving the club. The former Torrevieja goalkeeper had taken over last summer from long-standing coach Juanpe and has accepted a managerial position at a higher level club,

though no further details about where his new job will be has been revealed. Monte’s were dealt a blow just before kick-off as club captain Fernando failed a late fitness test and was replaced by Dario Perez, leaving the defence without its two most experienced players. Benijofar started well with two early chances, the latter being well saved by Alex, but a mistake by Dario saw the home side capitalise and take the lead. Immediately, Dario was

replaced by Alberto and an O’ Rourke free kick from just outside the box flew over the bar, before he levelled up matters a few minutes later. Yeray then placed another free kick just past the post, but on 40 minutes a great through ball from Pley saw O'Rourke lob the keeper, run round him and then slide the ball into the net, to take the half-time advantage. In the 62nd minute, Benijofar broke down the wing and the Monte defence

was caught napping, letting the home side level up. Though Monte pressed for a winner with chances created by Carlos and Wallace, Benijofar secured the points with a quarter of an hour remaining thanks to another defensive mix-up that had a comedic element about it as two Monte players ran into each other leaving the Benijofar forward alone in front of goal to get the winner, which brought down the curtain on the Monte season.

Sunday 29 May

02:00 USA v Bolivia 15:00 Lithuania v Estonia 17:00 Macedonia v Azerbaijan 17:30 Albania v Qatar 17:45 Germany v Slovakia 18:00 Spain v Bosnia and Herzegovina 19:30 Romania v Ukraine 19:45 Turkey v Montenegro 20:45 Italy v Scotland 21:45 Portugal v Norway 24:00 Colombia v Haiti

Monday 30 May

19:30 Sweden v Slovenia 21:00 France v Cameroon

Tuesday 31 May

20:30 Austria v Malta 20:45 Republic of Ireland v Belarus

Big Kit Deal

Wednesday 1 June Inc have extended their current sponsorship deal, which was due to end on 30 June, 2018,” Barcelona said last Saturday. “The longterm agreement is a landmark in global football and builds upon a highly successful partnership.“ The club’s president, Josep Maria Bartomeu, said: “We are excited by this new agreement and are confident we will be able to celebrate continued sporting successes together. “

18:00 18:00 18:00 18:30 18:45 20:45 20:45 20:45

Estonia v Andorra Luxembourg v Nigeria Russia v Czech Republic Latvia v Lithuania Norway v Iceland Belgium v Finland Poland v Netherlands Spain v Korea Republic

Thursday 2 June 04:00 Mexico v Chile 18:00 Macedonia v Iran 20:45 England v Portugal

Champions League Final Saturday 28 May

20:45 Real Madrid v Atlético de Madrid Barcelona has agreed an extension to their kit-manufacturing deal with Nike which would make it the most lucrative arrangement of its kind in the world. The La Liga champions and Copa del Rey winners said that details of the contract will be announced at the

club's next general assembly. The Barcelona-based newspapers Diario Sport and Mundo Deportivo reported that the deal could be worth 155 million euros a season and would run until 2026. “FC Barcelona and Nike,

Pako Picked Pako Ayestaran has been appointed Valencia manager on a two-year deal, the club announced on Tuesday. Ayestaran, who was Rafa Benitez's assistant at Liverpool between 2004 and 2007, took over from the sacked Gary Neville in March until the end of the season. He won three and lost three of his eight games in charge, as Valencia finished a disap-

pointing 12th in La Liga. The 53-year-old Spaniard has managed fewer than 100 games in his short managerial career, after stints with Mexican sides Tecos and Santos Laguna, as well as Israeli giants Maccabi Tel Aviv. Meanwhile, Valencia assistant coach Phil Neville has said he will find out next week if he still has a future at Mestalla.

Football League Championship Playoff Saturday 28 May

18:00 Hull City v Sheffield Wednesday

Sunday 29 May

16:00 Barnsley v Millwall

Coming 10th June 2016

Friday 27th May 2016

Barca Do The Double BARCELONA 2 SEVILLA 0 (AFTER EXTRA TIME) Luis Suarez scored a hat-trick as Barcelona claimed their 24th La Liga title with a win over Granada last Saturday to pip rivals Real Madrid by a point. The treble took Suarez's final goal tally to 40 in La Liga and secures him the 'Pichichi' top scorer crown ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo. Barca's rivals Real Madrid have now won just three La Liga titles in 13 years, while Barcelona have claimed eight in that time. "We played very well over the full season, we were on top of the table for many weeks and the most consistent team wins the title," said Barcelona boss Luis Enrique. "I am very happy for all Barca fans, for our families and the club. People suffer a lot in some moments, and now we want to win another trophy Ten-man Barcelona completed the Spanish league and cup double as two goals in extra time clinched the Copa del Rey on Sunday night. Luis Enrique's side claimed the trophy for the 28th time despite having Javier Mascherano sent off in the first half, and then had the silverware presented to them by King Felipe at Atletico Madrid's Vicente Calderon Stadium. Jordi Alba and Neymar scored for Barcelona, who can boast back-to-back doubles after winning La Liga. Sevilla had Ever Banega dismissed in stoppage time at the end of 90 minutes and Daniel Carrico at the end of extra time as they finished with nine men. "It was a spectacular finish to the season, not only because in the league we had to win every game at the end, but also in the cup final with a script that had us play for so long with 10 men," said Barca coach Luis Enrique. "We have improved defensively, going many games without conceding a goal (six in a row). The team is made up of champions. To complete a double once is difficult and to do it two in a row is special. Now we will go for a third." It is the second time in Barca's history that they have secured back-to-back 'doubles' - under Ferdinand Daucik, they lifted the La Liga and Copa trophies in both the 1951/52 and 1952/53 seasons. Sevilla were left disappointed only days after beating Liverpool to lift the Europa League, and coach Unai Emery admitted their midweek efforts in Switzerland may have come at a cost. "The team has competed very well," said Emery. "With 11 men, we were able to take control of possession and create chances. Perhaps in the final stages we lacked some freshness, but we know how hard the team has worked on Wednesday

Shattered Dreams CÓRDOBA 3 ELCHE 1

Four points out of the last fifteen on offer, topped off by defeat at play-off rivals Córdoba killed off Elche’s chances of a promotion show down, though diehard Ilicitanos fans and mathematicians may have something different to say on the matter. Ahead of Tuesday’s match at Mallorca (report above), the Ilicitanos were now cast four points adrift of the play-off zone with three games remaining, and a clutch of teams above them in what has turned out to be a rotten May for the club. Elche though had a big dose of bad luck at Córdoba, after the home side took the lead through Florin, with the visitors levelling up with an Armando header three minutes into the second half. A short time later, Elche were convinced that they had taken the lead as a Mandi (pictured in the black kit) free-kick smashed against the crossbar with the ball apparently going over the line(Geoff Hurst-style). Most neutrals took the view that it was a goal but the referee did not see it that way, which just about summed up Elche’s fortunes in recent weeks. Córdoba then turned the screw and almost immediately regained the lead, with substitute Pedro Rios taking advantage of a sleepy Elche defence and then Florin got an injury time penalty to put the final nail in the Elche coffin.

The Courier Sport

MADRID’S

>> Benzima lunges at a Real Madrid corner in La Liga.

Over And Out MALLORCA 2 ELCHE 1

GABI’S BIG CLAIcaM ptain

rid Atletico Mad are wiser de si s m ai Gabi cl avenge to d ahead of bi ue final ag Le s on Champi l Madrid, ea R nst defeat agai t termined no wiser and de by d te to be haun Lisbon.

THE ONES H TO WATCRon aldo

Two defeats in four days killed off Elche’s already receding hopes of qualifying for the end of season play-offs, as Mallorca fighting against relegation, pretty much booked another year in the Segunda League after Tuesday night’s result. The Balaeric side totally dominated the first half and deserved their lead through Lago Júnior in the 23rd minute. Elche woke up from their slumbers in the second half, but 11 minutes from time, a Javi Jiménez clearance from a corner was put into the net by substitute Pol Roigé. The Ilicitanos pulled one back on the stroke of fulltime from substitute Vergos, which got the Elche players quickly scrambling the ball out of the net to resume play. Indeed Mallorca had some nervy moments in added time, but it was too little and too late as the Elche season fizzled out, with two matches remaining, starting with the final home fixture against Valladolid.

Arsenal sign Xhaka Arsenal have signed Switzerland midfielder Granit Xhaka from Borussia Monchengladbach. The 23-year-old, who has won 41 international caps and captained the German club, joins for a reported £35m on a long-term contract. "I'm very proud to be joining Arsenal," said Xhaka. "I cannot wait to move to London, represent this special club and play in the Premier League. "I will give everything to help Arsenal win trophies and make the fans happy." Experienced midfielders Mikel Arteta, Tomas Rosicky and Mathieu Flamini are set to leave Emirates Stadium this summer.

iano Forget Crist Bale... Real h et ar G and ible twins' rr Madrid's 'te e can os and Pep Sergio Ram eir th ts an gi sh hand Spani . up ean C 11th Europ

BUFFON’S BACKINnG backs

uffo Gianluigi B rid to exact ad M o tic Atle League on Champi s l: 'It is their ea R on revenge . in after 2014 destiny to w sju it will be Buffon says o win this tic tle A if tice al. fin 's year

The Champions League final at Milan’s San Siro stadium has one guarantee tomorrow night (Saturday), and that is a Spanish side taking home the biggest trophy in European football. Athletic Madrid and Real Madrid will slog it out for the title with an 8.45pm kick-off. As a repeat of the 2014 final, which was decided in extratime, this year’s clash carries history behind it, with the rivalry between these Spanish rivals continuing to gain momentum. Cristiano Ronaldo’s form will be key in Milan.

Legend Ryan Giggs Is After almost 30 years at Manchester United as man and boy, club legend Ryan Giggs is weighing up whether to leave Old Trafford following the sacking of manager Louis van Gaal. The former winger holds the record for most appearances for United - 963 - having joined the academy on his 14th birthday and turned professional aged 17 in November 1990. But after two seasons as Van Gaal's assistant - which followed a year as player-coach under previous boss David Moyes and a brief spell as caretaker manager when the Scot was sacked - Giggs is at a crossroads. With former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho expected to be appointed manager this week, United have told Giggs they want him to stay. However, the role intended for him has not been outlined. The 42-year-old is still on the three-year contract as assistant manager he signed when Van Gaal took over.

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 27th May 2016

BIG SHOWDOWN!!! N I T E E RIVALS M

The Latest Sport Headlines

! L A FIN

E B L L I W IT VERY

! Y R E FI

He scored his 17th goal of the 2013-14 competition when he tucked a penalty past Thibaut Courtois in the dying minutes of the final in Lisbon, becoming the competition’s record scorer in the process. With 16 goals in this season’s Champions League – more than any other player and as many as Atlético have scored in their 12 matches – Ronaldo can break his own record this weekend. Ronaldo got football fans across the world talking as he limped out of training earlier this week, but Real Madrid's talisman insists he will be fit for the match. Defender Raphael Varane is definitely out, however, and will also miss Euro 2016. For Atletico, Diego Godin is fit after recovering from a thigh problem. Atlético’s defence is among the best in Europe, having conceded just six goals in the Champions League this season, but upfront and struggling in this year’s tournament, Fernando Torres needs to lift for Atlètico in the final, as he has netted just once from eleven Champions outings.

Considering His Future The job as assistant to Mourinho is unlikely to be available because Rui Faria, who has been with the Portuguese throughout his professional career, is almost certain to be installed at Old Trafford as well. Wales manager and former international team-mate Chris Coleman believes a move away from the club he made his debut for in March 1991 would benefit his long-term managerial ambitions. Giggs has already spent three years furthering his education, initially as a playercoach under Moyes, then, following his retirement, as assistant manager to Van Gaal.

FORMULA 1 Triple world champion Lewis Hamilton says he feels no tension towards Mercedes team-mate Nico Rosberg despite their crash in Spain. "It's fine," said the Briton. "In the past, there would have been tension, but there was just pure respect." Rosberg leads the championship with 100 points after winning four of the first five races, with Hamilton 43 points adrift of the German in third place. The sixth race of the season takes place in Monaco on Sunday.

United’s Mourinho Gamble What a huge risk the great Manchester United club is taking with employing Jose Mourinho as their new manager. Yes, sure, all agreed - Louis van Gaal had to go. Fifth place and no Champions League qualification is nearly as bad as poor old David Moyes (who?) who achieved seventh place and no cups. Now enter that popular group Eddie and The Glazers - who’s next for shaving? Don’t forget, we must have a really successful one, a sure-fire winner in the traditional United mould. Is that Mourinho? It goes without saying that the Portuguese man o’ war badly bungled his last appointment when, after storming Chelsea back to their previous Premier League Champions heights Jose suddenly, spectacularly, somehow ‘blew it’, ha ha, and only in his second season back at the Bridge, supposedly his spiritual home. It all fell apart amidst astonishing acrimony: just how and why is still really a football mystery - same players, same money, same competitors, but unbelievably it was Mourinho himself, not the players who let the club down with his bizarre actions and lash-outs at just about everyone.

‘Orrible Jose blamed everyone except himself for the critical mess the club descended down to, as his expensively-assembled mercenaries slid down almost to the relegation zone. The fact that stand-in (again) Guus Hiddink somehow turned things round at Stamford Bridge for Chelsea to finish relatively respectfully in 10th position conveniently covered over the transparent cracks that Mourinho had left. If the Blues had gone down would he still have been offered the United job? Immediately prior to Stamford Bridge, Jose Mourinho had struggled in Spain managing Real Madrid – mind you, who doesn’t? No disgrace there. But the man didn’t leave a lot of friends behind at the mighty Bernabeu, never afraid to court criticism in the perpetual quest for success at the top of the cauldron in La Liga. Italy? Sure, Jose did well winning the Italian title with Inter Milan, to build on his success and reputation after his first, very successful stint at Chelsea where the Blues won everything domestically – although Jose is not a winner in the Champions League, the one trophy which has always eluded the man .

Jose Mourinho’s Premier League record with Chelsea is impressive, with a 66 percent winning figure out of 212 matches at the Bridge, just edging out Alex Ferguson at Man United (65.2 percent), but Fergie did have four times as many matches in charge at Old Trafford. Incidentally, Arsene Wenger at Arsenal, has a 58 percent win rate, and only 60 matches less Ferguson. Latterly for Mourinho, the ‘lose’ statistics have been pulling him down, and Jose is not really inheriting a star-studded side at Old Trafford, with many questions being asked currently of the squad. Mourinho is not really known for developing ‘own label’ products like United’s Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford. Old enemy Pep Guardiola has arrived at Man City; Arsenal and Spurs are right up for it; his old boys at the Bridge have a new boss too. Jose Mourinho has never backed down from a fight, and goes into the lion’s den at Old Trafford with his formidable reputation on the line. What a season this is going to be - but we’ll all have to wait until Euro 2016 finishes. Bring it on!

FOOTBALL Striker Marcus Rashford is set to start England's Euro 2016 warm-up match against Australia on Friday with Daniel Sturridge's fitness in question after he missed training on Wednesday. Sturridge, 26, who did not play in Sunday's 2-1 win over Turkey, was sidelined with an unspecified knock. TENNIS World number two Andy Murray had to fight back to beat wildcard Mathias Bourgue in five sets and secure his place in the French Open third round. The British number one lost eight consecutive games to drop the second and then the third sets to the inspired 22-year-old Grand Slam debutant. But Murray, 29, used all his experience to seal a 62 2-6 4-6 6-2 6-3 win over the world number 164 from France. FOOTBALL Image rights negotiations are delaying Jose Mourinho's appointment as Manchester United manager. It has emerged that Chelsea still own his name as a trademark and could demand a six-figure sum from United before any deal is concluded. However, the issue will not scupper his appointment at Old Trafford.

BENITEZ WILL ZLATAN: NOT DONE DEAL STAY ON!

Rafa Benitez and Newcastle United have struck a deal to see him remain as manager. The 56-year-old signed a three-year deal to become Newcastle boss back in March, when he replaced Steve McClaren, but the contract was reported to include an option to cancel at the end of the season, a season in which Newcastle were relagated.

Manchester United do not have an agreement in place to sign Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Reports claim that the Sweden international is close to joining United on a free transfer, with his Paris SaintGermain contract due to expire next month. But Mourinho appears more likely to look elsewhere for a firstclass striker.

BRING ON THE

EUROS!

th u o Y o T s k o o L Roy For Euro 2016 Glory...

ENGLAND’S YOUNG TURKS

In the week that saw Liverpool lose a Cup Final and Man United win one (and sack their manager) an England side comprised of half the current Spurs side finally beat a spirited Turkey side 2 – 1 at Manchester City’s Etihad stadium last Sunday. This is the pre Euro 2016 build up, and England have two more friendly matches - against Australia at the Stadium of Ligh tonight and Portugal at Wembley on Tuesday - before their first Euro 2016 match against Russia on June 11th Despite coming third in the Premier League, improving Tottenham have had a tremendous season, and surely it must bode well for the country to have five players in the national team from one club, all of whom performed well. Full backs Kyle Walker and Danny Rose on either flank look as good as anyone, and they are supported by the sound midfield defensive performance of Eric Dier. Perhaps the find of the season for his club and country is Dele Alli, a positive, attacking midfielder who links well with his for-

wards, and in addition possesses a terrific shot. The man is a class act, who has already forged a great understanding with this season’s Golden Boot award winner, Spurs own Harry Kane who scored the first England goal - and somehow missed a penalty, which hopefully won’t happen in the Euro finals! Non-Spurs England stars on Sunday were Joe Hart, perhaps a little at fault for Turkey’s equaliser but otherwise gave a towering performance from the country’s undisputed number one goalkeeper. Up front, the other striking revelation of the season is Leicester’s Jamie Vardy. Snapping up a half chance like lightning (and scoring the winner) will be just what is needed in France, and a Kane/Vardy striking partnership is quite simply the best England can offer – and with Daniel Sturridge on the bench, England look potent up front. But then will Sturridge be fit enough to play tonight or even go to France after missing training this week?

SORT IT

ROY!

There were many good things to come out of England’s friendly win over Turkey last weekend, but boss Roy Hodgson made a classic mistake in picking accident-prone/poor seasonal performances type players who are clearly not fit and are just not up the task of playing vitally-important international games. Step forward (then smartly back to the treatment table) Jack Wilshere, Raheem Sterling and Jordan Henderson. Another of Leicester’s heroes, midfielder supreme Danny Drinkwater, with a fabulously successful season behind him, only came on for the final 17 minutes of Sunday’s Turkish Delightwhat an insult, the man should have been on the field with Alli and Dier from the start. If players aren’t playing regularly and successfully for their clubs why oh why are they pulling on England shirts when others need the experience? Surely now Adam Lallana would be better than any of those ‘returnees’ mentioned -and then of course the £64m question where does (captain) Wayne Rooney fit in – not to mention the bang-in-form and previously-successfully- tested Andros Townsend? Let’s see what happens tonight against the Aussies, cobbers! Tonight’s match by the way is the last before Hodgson trims three players from his provisional 26-man Euro 2016 squad.

ALMOST

THERE!

Ex-Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is expected to sign his Manchester United contract today (Friday). Mourinho's agent Jorge Mendes has been meeting Manchester United executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward to address a number of complicated image rights issues, though sources suggest that was not going to be a stumbling block. Provided negotiations continued at a similar pace, both sides remained hopeful the contract will be signed by the end of today. Read John McGregor’s view on “The Special One” on Page 47. Meanwhile reports suggest that Jose wants a “reunion” with the Chelsea player of the year Willian, and is prepared to pay the Blues £60m to make it happen.

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47