The courier week 130

Edition 130

www.thecourier.es

Friday, August 16, 2013

PAEDO GALVAN’S COURT RETURN ELCHE’S LIT UP NIT See page 2 INSIDE TODAY

SERIAL paedophile, Daniel Galvan, has been ordered back to Torrevieja at the end of the month.

He’ll be in court on Thursday August 29th after a denuncia was issued 12 days ago by a father who alleged that his young daugh­ ter was abused by Galvan in 2004.

The Guardia Civil in Torrevieja

confirmed that he worked for them in 2004, as an English, French, and Arabic translator, having previous­ ly been employed at the University of Murcia. Galvan lived all that time on Calle Guardamar in Torrevieja, before moving to Morroco.

The North African country is seek­

ing to extradite him to finish off his sentence after being mistaken­ ly pardoned by the country’s King a fortnight ago. Galvan is currently being held in Madrid’s Soto del Real prison. His lawyer says that Galvan has pled not guilty to any charges regarding offences in Torrevieja.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 965 99 66 66 E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

This picture was taken near to Guadix and shows snows in mountains near to Sierra Nevada in background. PICTURE TAKEN BY RONNIE ELLIOTT

DEADLY DRUG ELCHE’S LIT UP NIT TAKES CONTROL THE Night of the Dawn, or as often described in the Valencian language as Nit de l’Alba, once again lit up Elche’s skies as Tuesday night moved into Wednesday morning.

The annual event, celebrat­ ing the Assumption of the Virgin Mary, dates back to the Middle Ages. As tradi­ tion dictates, all power in the city centre was cut just before midnight, with 3 thousand rockets launched from the bell tower of the Santa Maria Basilica at the stroke of twelve.

Fewer injuries were report­ ed compared to recent years, though a 29 year old man had to be transferred to the burns unit of Alicante General Hospital, after a firework exploded in his hand.

SHOPPERS DELIGHT Hot on the heels of the news that the Orihuela Costa is to allow shops to have the freedom to open every day of the year from October, Torrevieja is set to follow suit as well. The city has already had some freedom of manoeuvre during the

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 132 ­ 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low qual­ ity electronic data or inadequate instruc­ tions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­appearance of any advertisement, although all advertise­ ments produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publi­ cation will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertise­ ment. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

summer, but it has had to follow the lead of the Orihuela Costa in asking the Valencian government for permission to classify itself as a major tourist area, thus allowing the liberalisation of shopping hours.

ONE of Spain’s leading newspapers, El Mundo, says that women in the Vega Baja area have become vic­ tims of a drug that allows them to be completely brought under the control of female thieves.

The drug is said to be the highly toxic, scopolamine, which comes from South America and caus­ es delusional behaviour, and in some cases, even death.

Crime gangs, consisting of Latin American women, are using the drug to rob females who are impregnated with it by touch­ ing what appears to be a handwritten piece of paper, but includes ink mixed in with the dangerous drug.

El Mundo has discovered that there are at least three pairs of women operating in the Vega Baja region, with victims in Orihuela, Almoradi, Pilar de la Horadada, and Rojales. The last victim was a 35 year old Ecuadorian who was walk­

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Friday Sunny High 39° Low 23° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 30 Low 23° Chance of rain 0%

ing with her two children through Rojales close to the border with Formentera. She was stopped by two women who asked her some questions and thrust a piece of handwritten paper into her face which she read. When they had moved on, sec­ onds later the Ecuadorian began to feel faint, with the pair rushing back to stop her falling to the ground.

The 35 year old said that she did not know what she was doing as her head span around and she gave them 300 Euros. Her teenage son filled her in with most of what happened, which included her returning to her house, and handing over 1700 Euros of jewellery to the couple.

In her interview with El Mundo, she said it took her some 3 days to remember some of the things that had happened to her, and she still needs medical treat­ ment.

Tuesday Sunny High 31° Low 21° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 29° Low 22° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 31° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 29° Low 22° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Sunny High 32° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, August 16, 2013

NO TRUST IN UK

A TOP Spanish foreign poli­ cy official has told the BBC that it is difficult to trust the UK, amid a dispute between the two countries over Gibraltar.

Ignacio Ibanez, director gener­ al for foreign affairs, said the row would not end until a new artificial reef was removed from waters off Gibraltar.

Spain has tightened border controls with the British territo­ ry, prompting the UK to threat­ en legal action. But Mr Ibanez denied the border controls were retaliation for the reef.

The extra border controls have caused lengthy traffic queues, and Madrid has suggested a fee of 50 euros might be applied to every vehicle enter­ ing or leaving the British territo­ ry.

A British spokesman said on Tuesday that Prime Minister David Cameron was "very dis­ appointed" by Spain's failure to remove the checks over the weekend and that "unprece­ dented" legal action through the EU would be launched.

The row began after Gibraltar created an artificial reef which, the Spanish say, is in a special conservation area and will disrupt fishing there.

Speaking to the BBC', Mr Ibanez said: "We are ready to discuss but to discuss we need an environment where you trust each other and, with what happened over the fisheries, it is difficult to trust the UK." He said it was up to the British government to intervene with the Gibraltarian authorities

to get the reef removed. As for the new border controls, he accused the Gibraltarian authorities of failing to control smuggling. It was, he added, a busy time of year for cross­bor­ der traffic.

Asked if it was wise for Spain, a NATO ally of the UK, to seek Argentine diplomatic support, Mr Ibanez said the issue of Gibraltar had similari­ ties to that of the Falkland islands, which he called by their Argentinian name, the Malvinas.

A Downing Street spokesman called the actions of Spain, which has been gripped by economic and polit­ ical troubles this summer, "dis­ proportionate and politically motivated".

POPULAR TEACHER DIES IN KENYA

A local teacher was killed when her safari jeep was in collision with a lorry in Kenya last weekend.

Two other members of the tour party, predominantly from Murcia also died, with the rest having minor injuries.

Pilar Naranjo, a popular Latin teacher from the Mar Menor High School in Santiago de la Ribera died along with a teacher from Cartagena and a councillor from the city.

Two teachers from San Pedro del Pinatar, Pierre Pinel and Jose Angel Brown were slightly injured.

The Spanish tourists were nearly a fort­ night into their stay when disaster struck last

License to thrill

A Valencia man who posed as a secret agent and a policeman, managed to con­ vince his budding recruits they could join the service in return for sexual favours, money and jewellery.

The fake secret agent, who struck in Valencia and Alicante on at least 11 differ­ ent occasions, would show his female “trainees” military footage, a vast array of electronic gadgets and numerous weapons as a way of convincing them he was who he claimed to be. Once he’d

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Friday. They were travel­ ling in two jeeps, from Ambolseli National Park to Nairobi, where they had planned to catch a plane to Mombasa. At around 10.30am, a lorry travelling in the opposite direction started to overtake the vehicle in front, crashing head on into the first of the jeeps, which was carrying five people plus the driv­ er.

One of the survivors explained that it all happened so quickly the driver had no time to swerve to miss the lorry. Emergency workers rushed to the scene, but three of the passengers were pronounced dead. The lorry driver was immediately arrested. gained their trust, he talked the women through the different stages of training.

These included supplying him with as much gold as possible as well as having sex with him.

The 56­year­old man tried to make sure that the women kept quiet about the gru­ elling training, as they were promised a monthly salary close to 2 thousand Euros.

The Guardia Civil arrested the man and his 45­year­old female assistant, after a tip off last month, and they both face charges of impersonating a police officer, fraud, attempted sexual assault and blackmail.

Bad girls give poor image Local Torrevieja business owners want action against prostitutes that are openly peddling their wares on the city’s streets.

They’ve called on Torrevieja council to do more about the problem, which they say is giving a bad image of the area for both investors and tourists.

Extra security cameras were thought to be a way of stopping the prostitutes by deterring their clients who would be scared of being caught on camera, but the activi­ ties have simply moved to areas that do not have video surveillance.

The business group, Procosta, have called for the same sort of tough action, including heavy fines, that have been intro­ duced in cities like Barcelona.

FISH OFF Murcia fish and health inspectors along with the Guardia Civil have raided a La Manga restaurant and impounded 600 kilos of frozen seafood.

The restaurant, which is based in an unnamed hotel, was visited after a tip off from a number of customers that out­of­ date mussels were being sold.

Octopus, bass, sea bream, clams, and shrimps were some of the items that were being sold, with no proof of where they had been bought from, along with poor hygiene conditions, in addition to some protected species that should not have been sold in the first place.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

16 YEARS ON, SPANIARD WANTS DIANA MONEY A Malaga engineer wants to claim a 20 million dollar reward for information proving that the death of Diana, Princess of Wales was not an accident.

Javier Carretero appeared in court last week in Malaga demanding the reward offered by billionaire businessmen Mohamed Al­Fayed. Al­Fayed originally offered the reward in 1998 in exchange for proof that his son Dodi Al­Fayed and of Diana, Princess of Wales had not been killed in an accident.

Now Carretero is hoping to get his hands on this sum, although he says he is more interested in uncovering the truth than the money which is up for grabs. The engineer's version of the events of August 31st 1997 — the night Princess Diana died — differs from official accounts.

Without outlining all the details to the press, Carretero said the explanation lay in the difference between two different versions of

the event. On November 3rd 1998 "they said that the vehicle entered the tunnel at 155kph and broke over 49 metres," Carretero claims.

However, on November 18th "they said it was going at 90kph" and didn't brake". He says the real story of the night Princess Diana died has been covered up by a complex smoke screen orchestrated by a gang of crimi­ nals, according to reports in the ABC newspaper.

Carretero's explanation comes in the form of a 2,000 page­study.

And now the engineer wants action from Mohamed Al­Fayed.

"If he doesn't want to help me to solve the death of his son, he should pay the amount at current rates, and if he does me to help him, we can leave the money issue aside until later".

"The world needs to know what really happened," said Carretero.

The engineer claims Al­Fayed already has an illegal copy of his

lengthy study for which he is also making a copyright claim. He also says he has been receiving anonymous threats about the case.

"It there are any mistakes in your report, we are going to sue you for false claims," Carretero says he has been told.

He also says he has been told Dodi Al­Fayed was killed for being the son of Mohamed Al­Fayed and not for being the boyfriend of Princess Diana.

A 2008 UK inquest into their deaths found that their deaths were the result of negligent driv­ ing by chauffeur Henri Paul. But Mohamed Al­Fayed refused to accept this verdict, instead offer­ ing up the 20 million dollar reward for information about the real cause of his son's death.

Carretero has previously inves­ tigated the death of US President John F. Kennedy, although he carried out that research for his own pleasure.

HUMAN SMUGGLERS STAND AND DELIVER SMASHED JOINT raids in France and Spain have broken up a sophisticated people­smuggling network being operated throughout Europe that had been transporting Chinese illegal migrants mainly to the UK and US. The arrest of about 75 people, 51 of them in Spain, including two of the organisation's masterminds, dismantled an international criminal network that was charging between 40 to 50 thousand Euros to transport illegal immigrants from China and to provide them with false papers.

According to the Spanish police, the same network, which had been under investigation since 2011, was also implicated in sex traf­ ficking. The gang allegedly used Barcelona as a stopping­off point for illegal migrants while false documents were prepared.

In addition to the arrests, police said they had found dozens of fake passports, for countries including Taiwan, South Korea,

Japan and Singapore. Investigators depicted a complex hierarchical network, consisting of largely independent cells, whose ultimate bosses were based in China. Gang mem­ bers based in China recruited would­be migrants, and accompanied them through­ out the voyage, disguising them as tourists to cross international borders.

A police statement said: "Spain was the last step, the springboard for the [migrants'] final destination, usually the UK or the US."

No back to school

SAN Pedro del Pinatar’s bilingual school, Castelar College, has closed its doors for good. The school which had over 300 pupils and 30 teachers had been struggling for years, after failing to recover from the disap­ pearance of funds, allegedly taken by the ex­ headmistress and her partner when they left four or five years ago.

The school opened in 2006, and had earned a good reputation for both its educa­ tional standards and the academy, which at one point had over 100 pupils attending Saturday morning classes. However, finan­ cial problems began to kick in with teachers having to wait months for their wages and stationery supplies getting scarcer for the children. The pupils were made up of a mix­ ture of ex­pats and Spaniards.

No miracle saviour has appeared to keep the school open, and it has proved to be a costly failure for some people. Many of the teachers had already invested up to 90 thou­ sand Euros each into the project when it was turned into a cooperative, with a debt now said to be in the region of 10 million Euros.

Raffle strip with a difference A bar in Salobreña near Granada which promised a night of sex with the waitress in a drinks raffle has been raided by police. Authorities got complaints that a poster had been put up outside the prem­ ises saying that with every drink, cus­ tomers would get a free raffle ticket which, when drawn at the end of the night, would entitle the winner to a pas­ sion session with a female member of staff. They also advertised 'go­go

dancers with sexual moves'.

Police quizzed the bar's management to work out whether their actions were a criminal offence – even though the party had yet to take place. According to the Guardia Civil, in addition to numerous residents, the council also reported the matter to them. The party was due to take place tomorrow night (Saturday), but on police advice, the owner has scrapped the event.

POLICE have warned that the so­called 'tyre­puncturing' highway robbers are back and actively targeting hired cars and those with foreign registration plates during the summer season.

The thieves' modus operandi involves puncturing a wheel either when the car is stationary at an airport or petrol station, or by firing a shot at it when it is in motion then, when the driver and passengers get out to check, offer to help them while an accom­ plice sneaks into the vehicle and relieves the occupants of their contents. Other variations include stopping drivers for directions, or

flashing cars to warn them of a mechanical problem such as a falling exhaust pipe or lights not working. Distraction techniques mean that lightning­quick thieves can get in the car while the driver is otherwise occupied – even just for a matter of seconds.

In Northern Spain, around 30 per cent of crimes on the AP­7 motorway through the Costa Brava, Costa Dorada and past Barcelona involve highwaymen side­tracking drivers to rob them. Drivers and passengers have been warned to keep all doors locked when travelling any distance, particularly if they are in a hired or foreign car.

TOURISTS BEWARE

Neighbourhood Watch has warned tourists to take care after an increased fre­ quency of violent muggings on the Orihuela Costa. It’s an annual problem during the key holiday season, and after The Courier’s reports of a number of incidents last week, Neighbourhood Watch, Orihuela Costa has asked everybody to take care when they go out.

Chris Poole from the group has reminded visitors to use their common sense when they go on a night out.

“If visiting bars and restau­ rants at night, then go home by taxi or walk in well­lit areas in a large group. Only take what you need, rather

than a whole load of papers and plastic cards, and the ladies should leave their handbags at home. Thieves lurk around the bars and the restaurants, so don’t become an easy target with something straight forward that they could pinch”.

Chris Poole also pointed out that you should not leave

any valuables in your car, even though they might be hidden. That could also include car hire documents which would tell the thief where you might be staying, which could mean that he might make an unscheduled visit to ransack your place before you return home.

“On a positive note, we have a very competent police service in the shape of the Guardia Civil and Policia Local. They are very fast in responding to calls and as well as there being uniform patrols, the plain clothes branch is also work­ ing in the areas where crimes are being commit­ ted.”

SPAIN THIS WEEK

WRONG WAY SIR

An Ecuadorian man who drove for 24kms on the wrong side of a Murcian motorway, was pulled up the Guardia Civil, and charged with reck­ less driving, as well as drink driving.

Authorities got emergency calls that a vehicle was travel­ ling in wrong direction of the RM­2 route between Cartagena and Alhama de Murcia. The 40 year old driv­ er was eventually stopped and tested positive for alco­ hol.

DRUGS BUST

Eight people, including a 17 year old, have been

arrested for running a drugs gang based around Elche and the Vega Baja.

All of them, including the teenager, have criminal records with the organisation distributing drugs around the region. Two arrests hap­ pened towards the end of last week, whilst the six other detentions took place back in May, with the police only releasing the details last Friday.

MARLBORO’S COUNTRY WAS FRANCE

Spanish cops have seized 465,000 packs of fake ciga­

rettes in Murcia worth more than 2.2 million Euros which were smuggled by boat from China. 10 people were arrested with the police say­ ing that the counterfeit Marlboro cigarettes were destined for France as the text on the packets was in French.

Two Spaniards and eight Polish nationals were arrest­ ed in the operation. The ciga­ rettes arrived in Valencia last month on a ship from the port of Chiwan, before being transported to a warehouse in Fortuna, Murcia, where the Guardia Civil made their arrests.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Monkey’s last laugh

A Spanish fresco that made headlines around the world after its restoration was botched by an elderly parishioner has had a change in fortune.

Ecce Homo earned the nickname 'Monkey Christ' after Cecilia Gimenez attempted to restore it. Officials in the town of Borja in northeast Spain say it has drawn more than 40,000 visitors and raised more than 50,000 Euros for charity. Gimenez and the local council are also set to sign a mer­ chandising deal.

The fresco had held pride of place in the

Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza for more than 100 years. Cultural officials said she had the best intentions and hoped it could be properly restored. But officials say it is not now possible to restore the painting's original look.

Since then 81­year­old Gimenez had also her own art exhibited. The fresco depicts Christ with a crown of thorns in a style known as "Ecce Homo" (Behold the Man). Amid last year's ridicule, some dubbed it "Ecce Mono" ­ Behold the Monkey.

Is the BBC TV presenter, Jeremy Paxman, morphing into his younger brother, Giles, who retires this autumn as the UK’s Ambassador to Spain?

Paxman Snr. created a Twitter meltdown on Monday as he popped up on BBC 2’s Newsnight programme sporting a beard, akin to his diplomatic sibling.

Comedian Jenny Eclair tweeted: ­ “I like

Paxman's beard. Looks like he might ride a Harley come the weekend."

There’s no truth to the rumour that the brazen sharp­tongued broadcaster is being mysteriously shipped over to Madrid to double up as his brother with some sharp retorts to the Spanish gov­ ernment over the current Gibraltar cri­ sis.

Two Romanians who pretended to be “Good Samaritans” in Alicante City have been arrested by the National Police.

They would operate by getting the trust of elderly people who they would spot struggling to get their heavy shopping bags into their homes and apartments. The men would then strike by pretending to give

them a helping hand, before suddenly turn­ ing violent and tearing off any visible items of jewellery.

Police have linked the Romanians to at least six crimes, and they were tracked down by trying to sell off their items at pawn shops, who kept a record of who they were.

A tale of two Paxos

Not so good samaritans STICK TO BASKETS

A Cartagena supermar­ ket has had to cough up 18 thousand Euros to a customer who was hit by a shopping trolley.

The Sierra Minera store in the city lost an appeal in the Murcia court, after being ordered to pay compen­ sation to a client who suffered a fractured hip.

The supermarket’s argued that it was an act of God involving a

third party that had nothing to do with them.

The customer was felled by a trolley that went out of control when another customer close­by, fainted. The judge upheld the Cartagena court ruling that there was no brak­ ing system for the trol­ leys and no warnings about any possible dan­ gers from them.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Police attitude to Brit car scam is so taxing With reference to the letter in Edition129 headed ‘Barmy Brit Shook The Hell Out Of Me, the police seem to turn a blind eye to drivers who continue to drive and use their cars on English number plates after their tax has expired.

The fact is these vehicles have no tax, Insurance or MOT. The police allow the owners to use them with no expenses yet

The Chancellor who’s living on borrowed cash

seem to be at every round­ about looking at my ‘legal’ car for the ITV sticker.

How much money are they not collecting in either re­reg­ istration to Spanish plates or the purchase of a much safer Left Hand Drive vehicle?

From a concerned LEGAL CAR DRIVER (name and address supplied), Ciudad Quesada.

points about the government. It’s him who seems to be looking through spectacles but more like dark ones.

The economy is only improving slightly because of the summer and people feel happier to spend. That won’t last.

By the autumn it’ll drop again as the worst Chancellor ever doesn’t have a clue what to do. He can’t get the deficit down as he keeps on borrowing.

I JUST thoroughly Even the Bank of England enjoyed an hour on a cool shady terrace Governor says he can see no with a couple of cold light at the end of the tunnel. beers and The Courier.

Banks are still not acting in To be honest I don’t the best interests of cus­ always get my hands tomers or Britain. on your entertaining The search for tax cheats newspaper. is a failure. Only 20 were but at least it is not I thought Tony found in UK. The NHS is Mayes (‘He always has dominated by four being privatised by the back teams with overpaid something to shout door, nurses are leaving as prima donna players. about’) spoke a lot of they say the caring has been My team, Southamp­ common sense and ton, recently escaped taken from them and there truth.Then I turned to John McGregor this division but I are still too many pen push­ (‘Shooting from the found their one­year ers. stay highly entertain­ Greedy energy firms since Lip’).

Cameron was in power, more His inner page col­ ing.

Well done, John ­ an than three billion profit was umn opened with a excellent assessment made but families have been topical question to this year’s hammered by bills that have which I would 100 per­ of Championship con­ cent answer yes. shot up more than £300 His back page piece tenders and good luck since the election. on the Championship to Forest. I shall be fol­ Now we hear rail fares ris­ was sharp and well lowing this league as ing again, hitting workers. No observed, especially well as the Prem, let’s wonder the Tory Party mem­ his comments on hope for some worthy bership has dropped by more champions come next Quite Possibly Rabid. than half since Cameron.

Yes, he is right ­ this May. Labour are by no means ROB INNIS, is the second division Torrevieja perfect but at least they help the workers and are not the Nasty Party who help the rich The Courier get richer and devastate the does not poor and the working class.

Pensioners are struggling necessarily and they’ve already paid Annual End of Summer Ball on agree with while they were working and October 11 at the beautiful we need the Heating Campoamor Golf Club. All wel­ the views Allowance as it’s cold here in come, including hubbies and expressed winter. partners. Tickets are €30 which on this Just a few points for you to includes a donation to the Skin Page digest, Mr Mayes.

Cancer Charity.

Mrs A DONOVAN Start the evening with a cocktail on the terrace before enjoying a sumptuous 3­course meal inclusive of wine and soft drinks. Dan Davey will then have you dancing the night away. Fabulous raffle prizes are being donated by local Letters and emails will only be considbusinesses. ered for publication if an address and Please contact any of the contact number are provided to Ladybirds for tickets. confirm authenticity LINDA DOUGLAS On behalf of The Ladybirds I’D like to answer Tony Mayes’ last article. For a start he wasn’t answer­ ing Mr Donovan but Mrs Donovan.

I’d also like to answer some of his

RED RED WHINE

UB40 concert was a real waste I ATTENDED the UB40 concert in Torrevieja on Thursday August 8 and all I can say is "What a waste of money".

The main concern of the organisers seemed to be how many over priced drinks could they get the audience to consume!

The group played for only 75 minutes which is the shortest concert I have ever attended.

They arrived on stage at 10.40, a full 40 minutes late and

left their most famous number, Red, Red Wine until after the encore.

The whole event was over by 11.55,

but many concert goers had left long before that, after being bored stupid by a repetitive and uninspiring set.

A total waste of

money and time for the audience but I bet UB40 and the organisers raked in loads of cash!

LIZ PAGE

On-the-ball Courier’s in a different League...

Ladybirds and lunch spots THE Ladybirds and friends of the Ladybirds had another suc­ cessful lunch at Maritao's kitchen on August 2. The fundraising lunches take place on the first Friday of every month at different venues.

Donations from raffle etc. go to The Felix Mantilla Skin Cancer Foundation.

The lunches have become a regular event for many of the ladies, who for various rea­ sons, are here in Spain on their own or who have husbands or partners following their own hobbies.

Viv Hawton says "I always look forward to the Ladybirds lunches as I feel part of a team

DON’T FORGET, WE NEED YOUR DETAILS

and meet new friends every month". All like minded ladies enjoying each other’s company and all in a good cause.

Any lady out there who

would like to join us please ring Linda on 966 791 897. Our next lunch is on September 6 at Crystals Rest. La Fuente. Our main event coming up is our

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Friday, August 16, 2013

A WEE SIGN FOR THE CIGGY ADDICTS

I’M beginning to wonder whether I really am the sanctimonious old biddy that unrepentant smokers keep telling me I am.

But why should anyone have to put up with their air space being pollut­ ed by inconsiderate drug addicts?

I was lucky enough to see the light way back in 1978.

Otherwise I’m pretty sure I would be a long­forgotten sta­ tistic of avoidable suicides on Tobacco Road.

Two decades of smoking 20 a day was bad enough. But there’s no way my lungs would have survived another 35 years of direct pollution.

All I can say is that if Nick O’Teen and his smoke­happy pals wish to set fire to their money and face a horren­ dous death, then I hope they leave a packet.

I just wish they weren’t so selfish in their attitude to oth­ ers. Certainly no one has ever asked me if I minded breathing in a few clouds of their poisonous smoke.

Do smokers ever check that they are not bothering those nearby before lighting up?

Do they heck.

All I know is that it’s become near­impos­ sible to enjoy an al fresco evening out. Last Friday, I found myself at the head of a table of six non­smokers for a quiz. Unfortunately

Rooney

IT’S that time of year again ­ so don’t be surprised, ladies, if the man in your life starts to talk a load of Bales.

Or threatens to put the bite on some buck­toothed Uruguayan footballer try­ ing to jump ship at Liverpool.

Or mistakes a Shrek DVD for Wayne Rooney’s great­ est transfer requests.

Yes, football is back ­ with more hype than ever and inflated transfer fees that could see Real Madrid target Gareth Bale officially instated as the Gross National Product of Wales.

As a lifelong sports fan I’m delighted at the news that nearly a quarter of those who attend Premier

two chain­smoking women were perched a couple of feet behind me. Naturally they did­ n’t ask my permission or anyone else’s ­ and I couldn’t move because it would have dis­ rupted the entire table set­up.

I could, or course, have asked them to refrain but my head doesn’t respond well to

skull fractures. So I sat and suffered ­ and by the end of the evening my clothes were reeking and my hair had turned a natty shade of cancer.

A couple of days later, my friend Marjory pointed out a woman on an adjacent table carefully holding her lighted cigarette behind

Footy’s no pain in the Shrek as female fans join in fun League matches in England and Wales are women. And there’s little doubt those figures are largely down to a downturn in violence on the terraces.

I was lucky enough to attend several matches last season involving the team I support, Cardiff City, who have arguably done more than any other club to wipe out the scourge of hooliganism.

A few seasons ago, Cardiff were labelled alongside Millwall as hav­ ing the worst­behaved fans in the game. Fast forward to 2011 and they were voted Family Club of the Year – a feat they repeated this year.

I can honestly say that in

the five games I attended at Cardiff City Stadium last winter, I did not see a sin­ gle incident of violence, confrontation or anything but friendship and camer­ aderie.

Mind you, it did help that we won the Championship title and with it promotion to the Premier League!

You can be sure I’ll be tuning in to the big kick­off on Saturday, along with millions of fans of both sexes. And as 3pm approaches, I’ll feel a tinge of sadness for people who don’t share the excitement and passion of competitive sport.

Because they don’t know what they are missing.

Come on, you Bluebirds!

Shrek

her so that her friends didn’t have to smoke it with her.

The fact that the non­smokers behind them were inhaling twice as much poison as the smoker herself didn’t even cross her mind.

So what is the point of this article, you may ask. Well, I recently came across a vivid testimony of what it feels like to be ran­ domly subjected to dangerous toxins. It was given to me 25 years ago by a fellow journal­ ist who later died in a sailing tragedy at the age of 35. Ironically, he was a fitness fanatic and an accomplished marathon runner.

The message, which I found at the bottom of an old filing cabinet, is addressed simply To The Smoker. I apologise for the crudity of the final sentence.

“Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure. It permeates the air and putre­ fies my hair and clothes, not to mention my lungs. This takes place without my consent. I have a pleasure also. I like a can of beer now and then. The residue from my pleasure is urine. Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and p****d on your clothes without your consent?’’

Don’t worry, I’m not proposing our men­ folk carry out the threat, so rain hats will not be necessary, smokers.

It would be a wee bit less drastic if restau­ rateurs and bar owners would provide a smoke­free zone for al fresco diners. Then we could all breathe a little easier, inside and out.

In the current Saharan heatwave, few bars are cool enough to sit inside. And under existing legislation, smokers are perfectly entitled to poison the air even though they are usually in the minority.

OK, I’m a moaning old bat. But is it really asking too much to ask for a small space in the great outdoors where people can sit unmolested and enjoy a drink or two?

Cue a smokers’ chorus of ‘’If you don’t like it, go inside and sit at the bar. They’ve banned us smoking there ­ now you want us banned outside as well.’’

I give up.

8

Friday, August 9, 2013

Friday, August 9, 2013

9

10

Friday, August 16, 2013

TOOTH AND CONSEQUENCE SILVER wasn't doing much smiling this week.

Mrs S reckoned it was the start of a massive sulk. But it wasn't. You see, I have bro­ ken one of my remaining front teeth. But it was the incon­ gruity of how the unfortunate incident occurred that bugs me.

I did the dental damage in the act of biting off the pack­ aging on my new toothbrush.

I could have laughed at the irony but if I weren't about to risk a smile then I certainly wasn't going to chance a guf­ faw.

Fortunately, my best friend is Eric the dentist and I have the telephone number of his surgery on my mobile phone.

Unfortunately, I'd left my mobile at the pub the previ­ ous night and it was too much bother to look up the number in the phone book because the directory was underneath the leg of my wobbly kitchen table.

As I didn't have the phone number of the pub (let's face it, I really don't need it because I am usually there) I

had the bright idea of ringing my own mobile phone from my landline.

Dave the barman answered. 'Hi, Dave,' I said.

'Before you continue,' he said before I could indeed continue, 'You are through to Dave Silver's phone but the grumpy git is not here right now.'

'I know THAT, Dave!' I shouted. 'It was YOU I wanted.'

'So why did you dial dreary Dave Silver's phone?' came the response. 'Anyway, I'm Dave the barman and I've got a pub to run. Please leave a message after the tone I'm about to impro­ vise and I'm sure the other Dave will get back to you.'

'But this IS the other Dave, Dave!' I yelled.

'Oh,' said Dave the bar­ man. 'Now I recognise your voice, Dave. Might I ask why you're phoning your own phone?'

'Please, Dave,' I begged, beginning to feel

dizzy with irritation and exhaustion. 'Tell me that you have the phone number for Eric the dentist's surgery.'

There was a long silence at the other end and I was about to cut the connection and ring again when Dave the barman came back on the line.

'Sorry about that, other

Dave. It's just that the pub discussion group has just walked in en masse for their lunchtime session and I've had to lob packets of pork scratchings in their direction in order to avert a riot. Now what was it you wanted?'

I groaned with fatigue and frustration. 'Eric . . . dentist . .

. phone . . . number.'

Dave the barman tutted.

'You sound in a bad way. I've never heard you speak with so many dots in your voice.

But to answer your query with a question of my own: How would I know Eric's dental surgery number? I've never been to a dentist in my life. I have perfect gnashers.

Indeed, I could chew for England.

'However,' Dave droned on, 'If we were to talk about feet, that is a different kettle of corns. I've had nothing but trouble with my plates. I suppose it's from standing on my pins all day looking after you drunken bums . . .'

Dave the barman was now really hitting his painful stride. ' . . . and I could tell you stories about my feet that would make your toes curl.

Now if you need the phone number of a good chi­ ropodist?'

While all this was going on I could hear the back­ ground noise in the hostelry rising to alarming propor­

tions.

'Must go, mate,' said Dave the barman. 'Your pub pals are getting really restless.

They're about to climb over the bar to commandeer the beer pumps and optics unless I put down your mobile and serve them.'

I, too, was about to hang up on my landline phone when I heard another familiar voice on my mobile. 'Eric!' I cried. 'I've been desperately trying to get hold of you. And now here you are. My prayers have been answered.'

Eric the dentist sniffed.

'Look, I'm trying to enjoy a relaxing lunch break and all I've had so far is Dave the barman apparently moaning to himself on the phone about his throbbing feet. Now there's a near­riot among the regulars and my best friend is going all ecclesiastical on me, prattling on about answered prayers.'

'Forget it, Eric,' I said. 'It's only a dental emergency but I'll speak to you later when you're feeling less down in the mouth.'

11

Friday, August 16, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 84 This week we are going to revise object pronouns. It is a tricky part of learning Spanish and so can never be revised too much, it´s important to get it right in order to be unders­ tood, so let´s first remember what object pronouns are.

There are two different groups of object pronouns, those that are preceded by prepositions and those that are not. When there is no preposition the following are used: me – me, te – you (inf. sing.), le/lo – him, le/la – her, lo/la/le – it, nos – us, os – you (form. Plural), les/las/los – them.

With usted and ustedes, third person forms (le/la/lo/les/las/los) must be used. These pronouns are pla­ ced before a conjugated verb; if there is an infinitive or gerund in the verb sequence, the pronoun can be put after the infinitive or after the gerund (without a space), e.g: Yo le veo – I see him, lo quiero – I want it, les necesito ver (or ­ necesito verles) I need to see them, lo estoy leyendo (or estoy leyéndolo) – I am reading it.

Don´t forget to use the accents to keep the stress in the same place on the verb.

With Prepositions the following pronouns are used: mí – me, ti – you, usted – you (sing. Inf.), él – him / it, ella – her / it, ello – it, nosotros/ nosotras – us, vosotros/vosotras – you (pl. inf), ustedes – you (pl.form), ellos/ellas – them.

Remember the preposition con (with) joins to mí to make conmigo and with ti to make contigo (with me, with you) No puedo hacer nada sin ti – I can´t do anything without you, ella quiere ir contigo – she wants to go with you, esa carta es para mí – that letter is for me, ¿quieres venir con­ migo? ­ do you want to come with me?, Este regalo es para ella – this present is for her.

The neuter object pronoun ello is only used in formal langua­ ge, because everything in Spanish is either masculine or

feminine never neuter, if in doubt, don´t use it: example of use: Borja: ¿tienes el informe final? Ana: No, estoy tra­ bajando en ello. Borja: do you have the final report? Ana: no I´m working on it. In this example ello refers to the fact that Ana has to finish the report, not to the report itself. If Ana referred to the report she would use él as informe is mascu­ line.

Use of third person object pronouns without prepositions can be a bit tricky to master and again it comes down to learning and practise. Their use depends on whether they are direct

Lo voy a comprar or indirect objects. Remember what direct and indirect objects are: the object of a sentence is usually a noun phra­ se, something or someone in the sentence. In a sentence with two objects, the indirect object is always mentioned first, there are exceptions but generally stick to this when deciding what the object is. If the sentence has only one object howe­ ver it is usually a direct object.

When the object pronoun is the direct object of the sentence

either le or lo can be used if the pronoun refers to a mascu­ line singular human being, only lo is possible if it refers to a masculine animal or object.

For example: le/lo voy a ver – I am going to see him, lo voy a comprar – I am going to buy it (book). The same rule applies to plural masculine pronouns when they are the direct objects of a sentence, for example: les/los voy a ver – I am going to see them (people), los voy a comprar – I am going to buy them (books, eg) Only lo is correct when it refers to a context, preceding infor­ mation, and so on: lo he leído ayer – I have read (about) it yesterday.

With feminine direct objects (human or not) la must be used in the singular and las in the pluiral,: la voy a pintar – I am going to paint it (kitchen – cocina) , no las necesito – I don´t need them (nurses e.g) However, when the pronoun is the indirect object of a sen­ tence, le is always used in the singular and les in the plural, whether it refers to a human being or not, masculine or femi­ nine: Le voy a dar agua – I am going to give him/her/it some water, Les voy a dar comida – I am going to give them some food.

If all this seems quite confusing it may be necessary for you to revise the grammatical terms that we are using, you will find the Spanish are very confident with grammatical termi­ nology because they have to be, most will know what a pro­ noun, a noun and a verb are, and as you are learning a foreign language it will be a good idea for you to brush up on your knowledge. I admit that when I started learning Spanish I had no idea what a verb was! I have studied English gram­ mar alongside the Spanish which has helped a lot.

Good luck and we will carry on next week with object pro­ nouns.

12

Friday, August 16, 2013

HOW CAN ANYBODY MISTREAT A DOG?

Last week I wrote about the wisdom of a dog and how they have a lot more to teach us, than we ever will have to teach them.

Some human beings think they are the more intelligent species, but they could not be further away from the truth if they tried. Human beings are the most destructive species on the planet, that's a fact. Dogs don't start wars. Dogs do not have the emotion of hatred. The natural state for a dog is peace and calm. So please bear in mind, that if you do have a dog, you have a species that has no ego, has instant for­ giveness, lives in the now and not the past or the future and follows calm. Can you say "yes", to all of those qualities.

I get many emails from dog lovers and some of them are sadly about animal abuse. I received an email last night and I cannot begin to tell you how distressing I found it. It con­ tained a video of what happened to a poor dog and I found it very difficult to watch. I have seen a lot of things in my life. I have witnessed violence and police having been brought up in Peckham in South East London, although I still love it with a passion, that area makes sure you are street wise when you go out into the big wide world. But last night for the first time in my forty three years, I found myself holding my hands over my eyes at times, as I watched the video that was sent to me.

I was going to write about what I'd seen in this week’s col­ umn but it left me totally undecided. I certainly would not want anyone to see the video and due to my background, I sup­ pose I am programmed to be able to handle very unpleasant

situations, but last night as I lay in bed, what had happened to this dog would not leave my mind. I live in the real world and although I am well aware that there are some wonderful, amazing people out there, there are also some real sick and depraved individuals, who are a serious danger to society.

It is a well­known fact that these people, who can inflict such unspeakable wickedness on animals, are capable of doing exactly the same horrors to children and adults.

The human mind can be an intellectual tool, but it can also become a box of evil.

If you are reading this article, that means you have an

interest or a passion for animals.

It is up to us to spread the word on how amazing not just dogs are but all animals.

It is up to us if we see someone disrespecting an animal, to step in and put a stop to it.

People need to know that abuse of animals is totally unac­ ceptable. It is barbaric.

Is this how some humans treat the most loyal and trusted friend they will ever have in their lives?

Next time we see an animal walk down the street, let us remember that they have feelings and feel pain, just like we do. All they want is to live in peace and not be hurt. And we certainly need to give them the huge amount of respect they deserve, because remember, they really are our teachers and the more intelligent species.

I am available for consultations throughout the Costa Blanca region, if you are having problems with your furry best friend. To book a consultation you can email me at peter@thedogyouneed.com and I will contact you straight away.

We have also set up an animal charity. We help the most severely abused and injured animals in Spain. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@the­ dogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. Even one Euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Nina was thrown from a white Porsche last week and the people Nina drove off leaving her behind.

She is around 8 months old and had kittens recently as she still has milk. Nina is very friendly and will make a lovely lap cat. Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Basil Basil is about 8 months old and is very affectionate. He is good with people and other dogs , Basil would love a home of his own . He is a smallish dog very sociable and desperate to please.

Please PHONE 600 84 54 20 / www.k9club.es Pixie was found in the campo and was extremely dehydrated and under­ weight. She is approx 9 months old and looks like a Sheltie cross, weighing just 5 kilos. Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

SIMON was only 8 weeks old when he was seen run­ ning in traffic in a busy town.

He was in a poor condition, very thin and riddled with fleas. He is now 12 weeks old in good health, fully vac­ cinated and micro chipped.

He is such a happy little chap and deserves someone who will love and care for him pro­ perly. 966 710 047 Simon

Zeus is a medium to large male Labrador cross he is 8 years old, he is looking for a new home, he has a fantas­ tic temperament is very good with children and would make a very good family dog. 650 304 746

ROSE was tied to the shut­ ter of and unused building for over two hours when she was only 8 weeks old. She is a sweet little pup who is now fully vaccinated and micro chipped and would love a family of her own to love and have the life she deserves. 966 710 047

Rusty born approx Jan 2011 is a medium sized boy, he was found wandering in a very bad state, he is a lovely dog he likes everyone, dogs and even cats too. For more info please call the PEPA help desk on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcha­ rity@gmail.com

German shepherd Bitch ‘Rihanna’ around 5 years old.She is loving, friendly and playful. Gets on with other pets and people.

She is a rescue dog and we have been fostering her until she was ready to rehome.

Rihanna has a passport and microchip.

If you can offer her a loving home please call 965 960 658

Zeus

Rose

Rusty

Rihanna

Friday, August 16, 2013

13

LÍNEA DIRECTA ADVISES YOU HOW TO ACT IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT Línea Directa Insurance advises you of the steps to follow in case of a road accident in Spain.

1.

Call the emergency number: 112. They will co­ordinate the procedure and will ask you in detail about the circumstances of the accident.

Call 966 921 003 NOW!

2.

Remain calm at all times. Switch on the emergency lights and if the state of the vehicle permits, remove the vehicle from the road, in order to avoid delays and further accidents, to the extent possible.

3.

Signal the accident location. Before stepping out of the car, put on your high­visibility jacket, which is compulsory, and place the emergency triangles correctly. The first must be placed about 50 metres behind the car in the direction of the traffic, and the second about 100m.

4.

If someone is seriously injured, never try to move them, except if in danger of fire or imminent explosion. Cover the injured per­ son, keep them calm and wait for the emergency services to arrive.

5.

If the circumstances of the location allow, always fill in the European accident report, which is an essential document for speed­ ing up the procedures and handling between the insurance companies.

If you have any doubt about how to do this, don’t hesitate to call your insurance company.

For more information, Call 902 123 104

14

Friday, August 16, 2013

SUMMER BREEZES BY Wow! That went fast!! So three weeks are finally over and it seems like yesterday that I was coming to Spain with my two girls and soon they will be making their way back to the UK, to get ready for school and English life once more.

My eldest daughter was due to fly back two weeks ago but found she was enjoying herself so much that she didn´t want to leave and with a quick flight change she has stayed and so I´ll be taking the two back together. I must admit that three weeks is a long time to keep two young girls amused, especially as we tried to fit everything into the first week thinking it would be my eldest daughters only week here! However we managed a trip to the water park in Rojales and a few other days out, alongside many days spent in and around the pool. All in all I think the girls have had a nice stay, we have all relaxed, I have made sure they have plenty to wear as we made a few trips to the shops, my eldest even got her belly button pierced!

My daughters are not really alike, in their manners and habits they are their own person, however they are very close and I know my little one was delighted when her sister decided to stay, it gave her some comfort, a taste of home still with her. It gave her someone to go to the pool with when my little man was busy playing on the wii or watching television and it gave her someone to laugh with and share a girls’ joke with. I have loved having them both here, it has been interesting, hard work at times, and a bit of an eye opener if I´m honest. My flat is not very big and we have all been pretty much living on top of each other, but despite that it has worked. There have been no major fall

outs, no arguments, just lots of fun and maybe just a little boredom when I have had to get things ready for the house or been writing. But I hope that they will both come next year and I will be in my new place and life will be that little bit eas­ ier.

Once the girls go back to the UK the hard work will start. I have had a great summer, however I am in the process of moving to a house with space to start a new business ven­

ture, and this is a big job in itself. I am lucky to have good friends to help me although the packing has been up to me, I never realised how many things can fit in to one flat! Luckily the house we are going to has four bedrooms and a big garage so I should never be falling over things again!

Autumn is going to bring with it a new start for me, after a turbulent period of time I have been able to enjoy a few years where I have taken life a bit easier and help my son adapt to life as just the two of us, but this year is going to be the year when I start to build a future for us. I know it is going to be a big job but I also know that I am up for the challenge. I have learned to be a positive person and as such I am sure that my new business will take off and be a success, at least it will allow me to stay living in a nice house and put food on the table. I will continue to work in the Academy that I was teaching in last year, I am taking an online course to refresh my knowledge of English grammar and assist me with my teaching and when I take the girls back I will have a few hours in Manchester to go shopping for anything that can assist with my new occupation.

I am not going to sit back and wait for life to pass, I feel now is the time to move forward, my girls and my little boy have given me the power to make things happen and I am determined to make a success of my life and give them a future. My reason for being here are three very spe­ cial people and I now have to ensure I am not only a good role model but can also provide for them in every way possi­ ble.

Enjoy the rest of your summer, and I hope all of you have a very positive autumn and a great end to the year.

15

Friday, August 16, 2013

BLOWING AWAY THE SMOKE

I mentioned last week the smokescreen over Gibraltar that has been created by the Rajoy government to try to divert attention from the Barcenas corruption scandal.

More and more Spanish journalists believe that is the case, yet we are still getting more stupidity from Foreign Minister José Manuel Garcia­Margallo.

He’s already had to climb down over the silly 50 Euro charge to cross the border into Gib for 4 thousand Spanish workers who earn their money on the Rock. Now he’s sug­ gesting taking the whole issue to the United Nations as well as the International Court at The Hague!

Garcia­Margallo is flying soon for a visit to Argentina,

and he is allegedly hopeful that when Argentina have tempo­ rary chairmanship of the UN Security Council, he’ll then be able to force a damning resolution against the UK over Gibraltar and The Falklands. How strange that he seems to have conveniently forgotten some very recent history. Only 11 years ago, Spain and Britain reached an agreement over the principle of joint sovereignty for Gibraltar, but only if the territory agreed.

The result showed virtually everybody voting against, and that was that. The Gibraltarians had spoken.

I wonder what tune Garcia­ Margallo is dancing to, and is it on the direct orders and authority of Prime

Minister Mariano Rajoy, as a useful diversion from more seri­ ous matters? I ask the question as the Defence Minister, Pedro Morenes seems to be far more pragmatic and sensi­ ble, without the bellicose blasts that his cabinet colleague seems to enjoy making. Or is the Foreign Minister somewhat out of control? By all counts, Rajoy had a reasonably friendly conversation with David Cameron last week. So is this busi­ ness giving us an interesting insight into how weak the Prime Minister is at keeping his cabinet in line, and how his mind is drifting towards more pressing personal matters?

You can’t keep a good man down and disgraced ex­ Cabinet minister, Chris Huhne has got himself a new job after serving some porridge over the speeding ticket cover up. He’s been made European chairman of a US ener­ gy company with a remit of expanding the firm’s role in the European Union. Good on him I say, as the ex­MP made a stupid and costly mistake, but still has a lot to offer in the field of doing something about global warming.

More voices from the Labour ranks are clamour­ ing for action with just 20 months remaining before the next General Election. The calls don’t come either from the usual bunch of moaners and groaners. Leadership candidate and health spokesman, the intelligent Andy Burnham says that Labour have to deliver positive polices and declare their hand by next spring, or else they’ll lose the election. Meanwhile, a loyal Miliband supporter, back­bencher Graham Stringer has called on his leader to produce clear policies soon and to get his team off their backsides.

It’s rare for this to happen in an opposi­ tion party that is basically united, and it’s further evidence that Labour is getting worried by the revival of for­ tunes for David Cameron.

q

q

16

Friday, August 16, 2013

TOP CHICKEN RECIPES THAI-STYLE CHICKEN SKEWERS Ingredients 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 1 yellow pepper (deseeded) 1 orange pepper (deseeded) 1 green pepper (deseeded) 1 medium red onion 2 red chillies, finely chopped 2tbsp lemon grass, finely slices 2tbsp mint leaves, roughly chopped 1 garlic clove

180ml olive oil 4tbsp fresh lemon juice 24 button mushrooms 24 cherry tomatoes 24 small bay leaves

wedges of onion, 3 tomatoes, 3 bay leaves and 3 mush足 rooms.

4. Grill for 20minutes, basting with the marinade and turning every 5 minutes. Serve with noodles or green salad.

Method

1. Soak 8 wooden skewers in cold water for at least 30min足 utes. Cut each chicken breast into 6 chunks. Cut each pep足 per into 8 pieces and the onion into 8 wedges.

2. Mix red chillies, lemon grass, mint leaves, garlic, olive oil and lemon juice. Add chicken, button mushrooms, the onion and peppers and bay leaves. Marinate for 1 hour at room temperature.

3. Preheat grill to high. Meanwhile, keep the marinade to one side and thread the chicken and vegetables onto the skewers, starting and finishing with a mushroom. Each skewer will have 3 chunks of chicken, 3 pieces of pepper, 2

MEXICAN CHICKEN Ingredients 450g skinless chicken fillet, cut into chunks 2tbsp olive oil 1x30g sachet fajita seasoning 4 skinless chicken breast fillets, cut into chunks 2 red peppers, deseeded and thickly

Friday, August 16, 2013

sliced 2 yellow peppers, deseeded and thickly sliced 2 red onions, peeled and cut into wedges Salt and freshly ground black pepper 4 flour tortillas, warmed Soured cream, lime wedges and fresh coriander, to serve

17

EL PICOTEO – CHILL OUT WITH THEIR FANTASTIC VIEWS

Method

1. Mix together 1tbsp of the oil with the fahita seasoning mix in a bowl. Add the chicken chunks and stir to coat in the mixture.

2. Heat a large cast iron skillet until very hot.

Add the chicken and cook over a high heat for 7­8 mins, turning frequently until the chicken is charred in places and cooked through. Remove and set aside.

3. Toss the peppers and onions in the rest of the oil and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Cook on the hot skillet for 4­5 mins, turning frequently until just ten­ der and lightly charred. Return the chicken to the skillet for a couple of minutes until piping hot.

4. Pile the chicken and vegetables onto warmed tortillas. Top with a spoonful of soured cream and a few coriander leaves.

Serve with lime wedges.

STUFFED CHICKEN WITH SPINACH Ingredients Spray oil 25g baby spinach 2 spring onions 2 prunes, chopped

With stunning views right across the Mar Menor, El Picoteo is the ideal place to watch the world go by. With a choice of three seat­ Salt and pepper ing areas, either the sun terrace, the chill­out 1 small skinless chicken breast area or the indoor space, El Picoteo offers 1tbsp honey something for everyone. There is even wifi 100g tenderstem broccoli, steamed, to serve for those who want to check their emails in relaxing surroundings.

Method If you want to get into the swing of things 1. Set the oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas Mark 6. on a Friday evening then why not come along Heat a non­stick frying pan and give it a to their “Fiesta Blanca” (White Party) – every­ spray of oil. Add the shredded spinach, one who comes dressed in white gets free chopped spring onions and prunes. Cook shots. until the spinach wilts. Season.

El Picoteo serves a wide range of Spanish 2. Cut a slit in the top of the chicken and tapas, and with every beer you order you’ll open out. Press in the spinach mixture. get free tapas. If you want something more Place the chicken on baking parchment on a substantial there’s a choice of snacks and baking tray and drizzle over the honey. Bake main meals, from hamburgers, hot dogs and in the centre of the oven for 20­30 mins, or English breakfasts, to paellas (must be pre­ until the juices run clear when the chicken is booked), fish dishes, grilled sardines and typ­ ical Spanish dinners. pierced, and it’s starting to turn golden.

The chillout zone is the ideal place to sam­ 3. Transfer the chicken to a serving plate.

Spoon over any juices that have run out. ple their selection of mouth­watering cock­ tails, mojitos or sangria. And if you want Serve with broccoli.

something more traditional they have a wide range of drinks. The widescreen TV on the terrace area is just perfect for watching those UK league matches. Why not make the most of their special football offer of a bucket full of six ice­cold bottles of beer, and home­made chips, with or without spicy sauce, all for just 9 euros.

The staff are friendly, and will have you coming back again and again. Situated right in front of the Lo Pagan (Quintin) windmill and mudbaths, there is plenty to do in the vicinity, from jet­ski rides to a leisurely walks along the strip. You will see people covered in mud, from head to toe, stalls selling an array of items, and the everyday windsurfers and canoeists, and even the occasional flamingo.

El Picoteo is open every day, from 10:30am till late. If you take along the ad below you will get a free beer just for going to see what all the fuss is about.

For further information, or to book your paella phone Jorge on 637726366.

18

Friday, August 16, 2013

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

TIP: Chris was having problems with her speaker icon TIP: John wanted to print his address book in Microsoft disappearing.

Outlook 2010 Hi Richard, I put my computer on yester­ day and found that my desktop speaker icon on my windows 7 has disappeared. Could you solve the problem for me please? I would be much obliged. Best regards, Chris

Q

Q

Hi Chris, this could be one of two things, either there is a prob­ lem with the sound on your computer (does it still work?) or your icon has become hidden. The first thing to do is reboot the computer and see if that fixes the problem, if not then try the following…

1. Right click in the task bar near the time display and you will get a pop up menu.

2. Click on properties.

3. Under system icons to always show, check volume.

4. Click Apply.

A

ADVICE: John wanted advice with a Java Update message he kept receiving

Q

Hi Richard, love the help page, I read it every week! I won­ dered whether you could help me with a message I keep receiving on my computer every time it boots up? It says Java update available, click here to update. What is Java? Should I update it?

A

Hi John, Java is a “client side” application, what that means is it’s a piece of software that sits on your computer and is utilised by some websites, usually the ones that have pretty animation or moving graphics and with regards to updates, yes you should wherever possible update Java on your computer.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

I have Outlook 2010 and Windows 7. I would like to print out my addresses/data in Outlook and don’t know how. I like to have a hard copy in case something happens I used to be able to do this with Palm Pilot. Periodically I would print out my latest list of address, phone numbers, etc.

Is there a way to do this with Outlook?

A

Hi John, just to be clear here for everyone, we are talking about the email program Microsoft Outlook 2010, not to be confused with the website www.outlook.com that many people use for their hotmail.com or outlook.com emails.

With Microsoft Outlook 2010 you can print your contacts out in a number of formats. In order to do this just click on contacts (bottom left portion of the screen within Outlook), then you need to arrange the contacts in a nice printable form, so click the “View” menu item and then click “Arrange by” and click “Address cards”, finally click on the “File” menu item and then “Print” you can then choose the format from the “Print Style” box.

TIP: Adam found himself locked out of his computer

Q A

Can I regain my PC's administrator rights, even if I don't have the password?

Hi Adam, if you don’t have administrator rights to your comput­ er you will not be able to perform some of the basic tasks – like change the date and time in Windows. Many operations require Administrator rights to per­ form normal day to day tasks. It’s difficult to explain in a few words what you can do but one easy thing you can try it to boot into “safe mode” – you can do this by pressing F8 when your computer starts, you should then see a menu which offers “safe mode” as an option, select any of the “safe mode” options and let your computer start. Sometimes you will see there is an Administrator user offered to log into Windows and sometimes this Administrator has no password – if this is the case for you then you can get in to Windows using that user and alter the permissions for the other users in the control panel.

If this is not an option then you will need to engage the services of an IT expert to come and clear your Windows password and get you access again.

Friday, August 16, 2013

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Friday, August 16, 2013

GOOD FATS, BAD FATS, WORST FATS "Eat a low­fat, low­cholesterol diet" has been the mantra for healthful eating for decades. Touted as a way to lose weight and prevent or control heart disease and other chron­ ic conditions, millions of people have followed (or, more like­ ly, have tried to follow) this advice.

Seeing a tremendous marketing opportunity, food compa­ nies re­engineered thousands of foods to be lower in fat or fat free. The low­fat approach to eating may have made a difference for the occasional individual, but as a nation it hasn't helped us control weight or become healthier. In the 1960s, fats and oils supplied us with about 45 percent of our calories; about 13 percent of us were obese and under 1 percent had type 2 diabetes, a serious weight­related condi­ tion. Today, we take in less fat, getting about 33 percent of calories from fats and oils; yet 34 percent of us are obese and 8 percent have diabetes, most with type 2 diabetes.

Why hasn't cutting fat from the diet paid off as expected?

Detailed research — much of it done at Harvard — shows that the total amount of fat in the diet isn't really linked with weight or disease. What really matters is the type of fat in the diet. Bad fats, meaning trans and saturated fats, increase the risk for certain diseases. Good fats, meaning monoun­ saturated and polyunsaturated fats, do just the opposite.

They are good for the heart and most other parts of the body.

The Good Fats

Monounsaturated fats lower total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) while increasing HDL cho­ lesterol (the good cholesterol).

Include these foods in your shopping basket next time you visit the store to ensure you are getting all the monounsatu­ rated fats your body requires — they have a great deal of benefit to offer:

• Olives and olive oil: Great for the heart, as well as the waist and they also have antioxidant and anti­inflammatory benefits because they contain polyphenols and vitamin E. • Nuts: Macadamia nuts have the highest content of monounsaturated fats, followed by hazelnuts, pecans, and almonds. Good for the heart, as they are a good source of soluble fibre calories. They also make an ideal snack as they are so filling. Studies also show that the oils they contain stimulate fat loss.

• Avocados: According to a recent study in Brisbane, Australia, eating avocados daily for three weeks improved blood cholesterol in middle­aged women better than a low­ fat diet did. The avocado diet reduced total cholesterol 8 per­ cent compared with 5 percent for the low­fat diet. Most important, avocados improved the good HDL­cholesterol ratio by 15 percent. The daily amount of avocado ranged from 1/2 avocado for small women to 1 1/2 for large women.

Expected outcome: By eating avocados, heart patients could cut their risk of heart attack 10­20 percent and death rates 4­8 percent in 3­5 years.

• Dark chocolate: Not to be used as an excuse to binge on chocolate, but including some dark chocolate into your cheat meals is a delicious way to get some extra monoun­ saturated fats into your diet. About a third of the fat found in dark chocolate is monounsaturated. Dark chocolate is also full of flavonoids, which help to protect cells from free radical damage and lower blood pressure. So next time you are staring at the chocolate shelf in your local grocery store be sure to choose the dark option over milk or white chocolate.

Polyunsaturated fats also lower total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol. It contains essential fatty acids (EFAs) such as omega­6s (linoleic acid) and omega­3s (alpha­linoleic acid) that are needed in our diet. So, a certain amount of polyun­ saturated fats are needed because essential fatty acids may help in prevent or control of all kinds of ailments and condi­ tions such as: • heart disease • cancer • immune system deficiencies • arthritis • obesity Polyunsaturated fats are also one of few rich sources of vitamin E. Polyunsaturated fats are found in foods of plant origin.

ARE YOU TIRED ALL THE TIME? DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

If you’ve ever been to you doctor complaining of tiredness, then you’ve most likely been told to ‘Go home there’s nothing wrong with you’. It’s true sometimes we worry too much about our own health, but the reality today is that doctors do not carry out enough tests to determine the root cause of a health concern. Even blood tests and X­rays that are rarely offered these days, are out­dated ways of diagnosing diseases, and do not say very much about one’s state of health.

This time of the year though, the main cause of tiredness is the hot summer weather. You may not realise it, but the lungs require more energy to process the hot summer air, making each breath more tiring than the next. And after a while, you feel tired. The hot weather also causes dehydration, which can lead to tiredness because the body cools down when it sweats, and the sweat evaporates. But when we don’t drink enough water, we don’t sweat as much and the body tempera­ ture rises, causing tiredness. We also lose a lot of minerals – mainly sodium and potassium – when we sweat. Low levels of potassium in the blood can cause muscle weakness and tiredness.

Anaemia is the next big cause of tired­ ness after physiological causes such as sweating. It is said to occur when the haemoglobin ­ the red pigment that transports oxygen­ is below normal lab­ oratory values (15g/dl for men and 12 for women). When haemoglobin is low, oxygen is unable to reach the tissues and without oxygen, the cells are unable to produce energy, causing the feeling of tiredness. A lack of iron is a common cause of anaemia. Iron defi­ ciency is usually detected through a blood test, and if found to be low, iron tablets are prescribed. But iron defi­ ciency is rarely caused by a lack of iron in the diet (iron is common in leafy green vegetables and many foods) but by a problem with its absorption. Iron is only properly absorbed in the intestines if there are adequate amounts of stom­ ach acid as well as vitamin C from the diet. But many people take acid sup­ pressing medications such as omepra­ zole (for heart burns) and have low lev­ els of hydrochloric acid in the stomach, which prevents iron from being proper­ ly absorbed. A lack of Vitamin B 12 is another cause of anaemia. The absorption of vitamin B12 is easily dis­ rupted with the inflammation of the villi­

finger­like processes in the intestines that absorb digested food. This inflam­ mation of the villi also affects the absorption of other nutrients that are essential to prevent tiredness due to anaemia. Then there is the silent or hidden cause of tiredness – contami­ nants or toxins. Every substance that passes through the body – food, drink, drugs – is broken down by the liver to remove toxins. This is known as the detoxification process, and is mainly carried out by the liver, gallbladder and intestines. These toxins are usually from chemicals used in the farming and processing of food: preservatives, insecticides, fungicides, mycotoxins and toxic metals such as lead, mercury and arsenic. When the detox organs become overloaded, these toxins are stored in the fat cells of the body where they gradually flow into the blood caus­ ing tiredness and many chronic dis­ eases. Ensuring that your nutrition is healthy and your body free from toxins is likely to restore your energy levels.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR HEALTH, VISIT PAGE 33 FOR QUALITY SUP­ PLEMENTS

The best sources are oily fish, walnuts, sesame and pump­ kin seeds. Other high sources are vegetable oils such as sunflower and safflower.

The Bad Fats

Saturated fats have been proven to raise overall choles­ terol levels and contribute to heart disease. Saturated fat is found mostly in foods that come from animals. These include: • fatty meats: beef, lamb, pork • poultry with skin • processed meats — bologna, hotdogs, other lunch meat, bacon, sausages • whole and 2% milk • butter • cheese • lard A high content of saturated fat can be found in some foods that come from plants such as: • palm kernel oil • palm oil • coconut oil • cocoa butter

The Worst Fats

Trans fats were invented when scientists decided to hydrogenate or turn liquid fat into solid fat. This process increases the shelf life of certain products and helps to pre­ serve flavour. However, these fats are particularly danger­ ous. In fact, the recommended daily amount of trans fats according to the American Food and Drug Administration is zero. Like saturated fats, trans fats have been strongly linked to heart disease.

Where can you find trans fats? You’ll be surprised and shocked! Yes, in chocolates and wafers, in shortening and margarine, in ice­creams, biscuits and cookies, cakes, breakfast cereals, burgers, bakery produce, French fries, pastries, pies and puffs, fried chicken, and pizza.

Edition 5

OFFERS OF THE MONTH

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Friday, August 16, 2013

STARS AND THEIR MOTORBIKES Just at the moment, celebrities seem to be forgoing the comfort and seclusion of their cars in ever increasing numbers. Instead, many of the world’s biggest stars are taking to two wheels and opting for the raw power and posing potential of a good motorcycle.

Tom Cruise has been spotted on the amazing Vyrus 987 C3 4V motorbike and now Orlando Bloom, another serial motorcycle fan, has been clocked on a mighty R1200 GS – the 125hp all­terrain touring bike from BMW (pictured above).

Kylie Minogue - Kawasaki ZX-6R

launched back in 1998 and has been through various incar­ nations over the years. Depending on the version, riders can expect a 0­60mph blast of under three seconds and a top speed around the 180mph mark. That’s fast.

Brad Pitt Harley-Davidson Panhead

Kylie Minogue is seen here on a highly modified Kawasaki ZX­6R, with its lights and bodywork stripped off and wide handlebars fitted to make it perfect for extreme stunts.

Ewan McGregor – Manx Norton

Brad Pitt is seen here cruising Hollywood's Sunset Boulevard on his one­off Harley­Davidson Panhead. The global superstar doesn’t really need a big bike like this to get himself noticed in LA but he’s not taking any chances – adding a gold helmet for good measure.

Probably the work of custom bike builder Shinya Kimura, the rusty­looking finish on the bike is quite intentional and contrasts with exotic suspension and a tuned engine.

Chris Evans Harley-Davidson Softail Slim

Tom Hanks – Yamaha Riva

Famous bike fan Ewan McGregor rides a classic Manx Norton motorcycle at Goodwood in 2012. The racing bike was built from 1947 until 1962 and named in honour of Norton’s connection with the legendary Isle of Man TT races.

Harley­Davidson supplied a mock­1940s bike for ‘Captain America’ but here the movie’s star Chris Evans is on one of the company’s modern Softail Slim models powered by a 1688cc V­twin.

Dennis Hopper – Harley-Davidson custom

Keanu Reeves – Norton Commando 750

This is the ever­popular Tom Hanks getting to grips with a classic Yamaha Riva scooter. This bike and quite a few oth­ ers featured heavily in the 2011 movie Larry Crowne but co­ star Julia Roberts was less than impressed with Tom’s riding skills.

'He almost killed me,' Roberts said after the film was in the can. 'He almost took one of my legs off ­ The good leg!'

Arnold Schwarzenegger Indian Chief

Here’s actor Dennis Hopper in the saddle of a customised Harley­Davidson reprising one of his most famous roles, that of Billy in the cult classic film Easy Rider. Dennis Hopper died in May 2010.

Curtis Jackson – Yamaha YZF-R1

Canadian actor Keanu Reeves is seen here on a British classic motorcycle. The Norton Commando 750 was launched in 1967 with production continuing for a decade.

David Beckham - Confederate Motor Company F131 Hellcat Combat

David Beckham is a man who knows as much about looking good off the pitch as he does about whipping in crosses on it. Here he is in LA with a £55,000 F131 Hellcat Combat motorcycle from the Confederate Motor Company. The bike is a spe­ cial edition version of the Hellcat series with a stonking 149hp engine that can get the weighty machine to 60mph in 4 seconds.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is no stranger to bikes. Here he’s seen on an Indian Chief, probably an original from the 1940s but clearly modified with many newer parts.

Paris Hilton - SuperMartxe VIP Aprillia race bike

This is Curtis Jackson otherwise known as 50 Cent. The hip­hop star is aboard one of the quickest superbikes on the planet – Yamaha’s screaming R1. The YZF­R1 was first

Without warning or much by way of an explanation, Paris Hilton put her name to a 125GP motorcycle racing team for the 2011 season. The heiress to the Hilton hotel chain fortune is seen here promoting the SuperMartxe VIP by Paris Hilton team as only she can.

Friday, August 16, 2013

MOTORING & PARKING FINES

If you are the owner of a Spanish reg­ istered road vehicle, you may already know from personal experiences just how erratic the system of being award­ ed, and receiving fines for motoring offences can be here in Spain.

Such fines are usually given for speeding or parking offences, but can extend to other infractions such as not wearing your seatbelt, not having your lights switched on where necessary or having defective equipment or travelling with an unsafe load.

It is not unusual for the owner of a vehicle to receive notification of such a fine (known in Spain as 'multas') being issued through the post many months after the event. In these circumstances the owner can often have no memory of such an offence being committed ­ or even if they were driving the vehicle themselves.

It is also possible that your vehicle may have been cloned, and that it is the 'impostor' that has incurred the fine ­ in most cases miles away from where you and your vehicle are based and in a place where you have never even been to.

There have also been cases where notifications were sent out in the post, but never received by the owner and it can be many months later ­ usually upon selling the vehicle ­ that the owner is made aware that there are outstanding fines to be paid, often with penalties for overdue payment of a fine that you never knew you had !

Even the process of buying a second hand vehicle can be a tricky: as Spanish law dictates that any such fine is attached to the vehicle itself, any new owner can find them­ selves liable for a number of outstanding fines which can make a seemingly good bargain become an expensive nightmare.

By who and how are these fines administered?

First of all, it needs to be said that because the bureaucra­ cy and administration surrounding such fines is so erratic, there is no definitive answer ­ and as such this article is

intended as a generic guide only.

Moving on, because different police forces take responsi­ bility for different infractions and resulting fines, it also means that different multas need to be checked with differ­ ent agencies. The various 'multas' have been split into park­ ing fines (generally administered by the Policia Local and collected by the appropriate Ayuntamiento) and speeding & motoring offences (generally administered by the Guardia Civil, and collected by the Dirección General de Tráfico).

Note the use of the word 'generally'.

Parking offences

If you wish to find out about any existing fines that may have been administered against any vehicle you may own (or may be about to purchase) you can do this by going to http://www.buscamultas.com/default.aspx/ you will need to enter the NIE number of the registered owner and the registration number of the vehicle itself and the website will search official journals to check your details for outstanding fines.

If your check returns notification of an outstanding fine you can contact the relevant ayuntamiento directly to arrange payment, or appeal against the decision. It is not unheard of to receive notification of a parking offence from a town that

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you have never heard of. Sometimes this is simply a typing or handwriting area, more rarely from a cloned vehicle. If you do contest the fine make sure you write asking for a copy of the original ticket, keep a copy of all correspondence and send your letter by certified mail.

Notes: # This is not an official government web­ site and is owned and operated by a third party who scan official newsletters & bul­ letins # You can choose to enter your mobile phone or e mail address to receive notifi­ cation if and when your details appear on such bulletins # It also covers any fines when the owner could not be immediately contacted (i.e. speed cameras) # The small print of the website notes that the service only covers outstanding fines where the owner had not already been notified by post (i.e. if the notification had been posted but not received it may not appear here.

Speeding & motoring offences

Generally you will already know if you have received such a fine as they are issued to you personally (unless in the case of being caught by speed camera, in which case see above) and as such the process of how to pay the fine (or appeal against it) will appear on the back of the ticket itself.

It is now possible to pay such a fine online by credit or debit card simply by going to the dgt website http://www.dgt.es/portal/es/oficina_virtual/multas/ and entering your document number. If you chose, you can also pay by going into any branch of the Banco Santander or post office. If payment is made within 20 calendar days the fine will be reduced by 50 %.

The fine can be appealed by writing to the tráfico (in any language) stating reasons for the appeal together with the document/ fine reference, however, any appeal must be made within 15 days and if your appeal should not be upheld you will not be eligible for the 50% reduction for prompt pay­ ment of the fine.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

YOUR CAR'S ITV (SPANISH MOT)

A frequent question asked by motorists of a foreign nation­ ality in Spain is regards to the ITV (Inspección Técnica de Vehículos), or the roadworthiness test of a motor vehicle in Spain, which is the equivalent of an MOT in the UK. ITV tests are compulsory in Spain and as in the UK, can only be done by an authorised Test Centre. The test is basi­ cally to check that the vehicle is roadworthy and not a haz­ ard to other road users.

If a vehicle has been involved in a serious road traffic acci­ dent, has been subsequently damaged in some way and has undergone any repair work it will need to be retested to ensure that the work has been completed correctly and that your vehicle is still road­worthy.

• New Cars are tested for the first time after four years and every two years thereafter up to 10 years Old

• A car over 10 years must be tested every year • Motorcycles are first tested after four years, after which the test is due every two years If a vehicle has been involved in a serious accident, and undergone some repair work it should be retested to ensure that the work has been done correctly and that your vehicle is still road­worthy.

Taking the ITV test

• Find an authorised testing centre on the website of the DGT (Dirección General de Tráfico): There is a Test centre in most Major Towns The vehicle's registration document (permiso de cir­ culación) needs to be produced when you are taking your car to the testing centre.

The following Features are Tested: • • • • • • • •

tyre tread depth lights Exhaust Emissions shock absorbers brakes wheel alignment Mirrors & wipers General Bodywork

If your vehicle fails the test If a vehicle fails the test, the owner is issued with an itemised notification of failure for you to present this to your local garage and get the necessary repairs done. Repairs must be done within 15 days of the date of this notification, and then the vehicle should be re­entered for a second examination.

Passing the test

An ITV card details the results of each test undertaken, and then where appropriate a certificate is issued as proof of roadworthiness. The certificate (which is basically a sticker) must be displayed in the top right hand corner of the wind­ screen. It shows the month and year of the next test due.

Not displaying the ITV certificate, or driving without a valid ITV can result in severe fines and the Guardia often perform spot checks for this reason.

Foreign vehicles Vehicle roadworthiness is not transferable across the EU countries. A car imported into Spain must pass the Spanish ITV test before it can be registered in Spain; likewise, the ITV of an exported Spanish registered car will not be valid in another country. It is possible to get a Spanish ITV on a "Not Yet Imported "UK vehicle in the same manner, if and when your UK MOT expires.

So now you are at least aware of the theory behind the ITV and all that it entails

SHINY HEADLAMPS REGAIN YOUR SPARKLE

It is important to ensure that headlamps conform to Spanish Legal requirements in order for the vehicle to pass its ITV (MOT). When motorists find out that their vehicle needs new headlamps due to them being yellowed and faded by the hot sun this can be an expensive and unex­ pected shock. This is where The Headlamp Exchange comes in. A unique formula has been developed to renovate dull, dirty, yellowed and faded headlamps like new. This service can be provided at a fraction of the cost of new headlamps.

This method is proving extremely popu­ lar and saving people the expense if buy­ ing new head lamps.

The Headlamp Exchange has been in La Marina Village now for many years ­ in fact we are celebrating our 10 years in

business this year! As a motoring busi­ ness we are happy to help you with your vehicles from re­registration of your vehi­ cle and all mechanical work, to LHD headlights and of course, our speciality ­ headlight cleaning. Large stocks of LHD Headlamps in stock, all makes – also RHD lamps available. We can help you, if we can’t do it, then it can’t be done! ''The originals'' established for over 10 years. Call into our offices in La Marina Village for a quote.

Our office is very easy to find on the main street of the Village, next door to Montemar Hotel. Shiny Lamps are now covering the Mar Menor and Pilar Areas in their mobile unit. For further details and information please telephone 965419769 or 646730507.

Friday, August 16, 2013

5

NEW 1.0-LITRE TURBO FOR VAUXHALL ADAM A frugal new 1.0­litre SIDI three­cylinder turbo petrol engine will go on sale in the Vauxhall Adam city car in 2014, following its debut at next month’s 2013 Frankfurt Motor Show.

The new low­ emissions unit – a rival to Ford’s 1.0 Ecoboost engine in the Fiesta and Focus – will deliver “impressive fuel economy and CO2 emissions significantly lower than 100g/km”, according to Vauxhall.

The current Adam range is pow­ ered by 1.2­ and 1.4­litre petrols.

Both units have come in for some criticism over power and efficiency, something the new motor should easily address.

The 1.0­litre turbo engine will develop 115hp, but even more impressively, also churn out 122lb ft of torque. That’s not only 30% more than Vauxhall’s current 1.6 petrol, it’s spread low and wide between 1,800 and 4,800rpm.

10 Crazy Car Facts

This should mean the new engine will be extremely tractable and eco­ nomical, even in larger cars, such as the firm’s Astra hatchback.

In fact, Vauxhall claims the new three­cylinder turbo engine “gener­ ates more torque through its operat­ ing range than equally powerful higher displacement engines, while fuel efficiency is improved by 20% compared with the current 1.6 petrol that powers the Astra.”

The three­pot 1.0 SIDI motor will also be mated to a new six­speed manual gearbox.

This engine is the first in a new

family of modular three­ and four­ cylinder petrol engines for Vauxhall, which will soon stretch up to 1.6­litres in capacity.

Beyond the 1. Before the 1920s, cars didn't have fuel gauges. Drivers had to Astra, larger ver­ guess how much was left in their tank. sions could 2. According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, 21% of car power bigger, owners do not lock their doors. 1 in every 170 cars is stolen each heavier cars, such year. as the next 3. The first traffic light was used in 1914. It was not automatic, Insignia. and had to be operated by an officer who manually controlled them Vauxhall has from a nearby booth. already confirmed 4. The most likely time for fatal car crashes is on weekends that a 200hp “high between midnight and three o'clock in the morning. performance” ver­ 5. The United States has an amazing 765 cars per 1,000 people sion of the 1.6 living in the country (including children!). This is the highest cars­ SIDI turbo engine will debut at per­capita rate in the world.

6. The first electric car was built in 1891 by William Morrison.

Frankfurt 2013 in the Cascada con­ vertible, before it goes on sale in However, the increasingly popular electric cars fell out of favour once Henry Ford introduced the gas­powered Model T in 1908.

January next year.

7. In 1911, during the first ever Indianapolis 500, driver Ray As for the frugal 1.0­litre unit, the British car maker states it’s lighter Harroun drove to victory ... alone. His car was streamlined and built than its predecessor – thanks to its for only one man, meaning he had no room for the (at the time) tra­ new aluminium construction – ditional riding mechanic. In order to keep an eye on drivers behind which should also help improve him, he mounted a rear­facing mirror in the car. It worked, and he won the race. Soon after, manufacturers adopted the idea, and handling for future models. rear­view mirrors became standard safety procedure.

As well as the lack of mass, key to 8. An airbag takes only 40 milliseconds to inflate and deploys at the engine’s efficiency is the direct nearly 500 km an hour injection system and integrated 9. It takes about 25 hours to build a car, and 10 of those involve exhaust manifold, which will the painting process. improve engine warm­up times and 10. In America, more people are killed every year while walking therefore fuel economy. in crosswalks than illegally jaywalking.

LUCKY THIRTEEN FOR YOGESH

Talleres Yogesh has been established for over 13 years and can be found in Las Heredades (on the road from Rojales to Almoradi).

Yogesh, the owner has over 40 years experience in the Motoring Trade. In 2000 Yogesh and his wife Latta relocated to Spain, where Yogesh worked as an independent mechanic in Orihuela Costa for 3 years before establishing his current garage.

His reputation for efficiency, reliability, high quality service and vast experience has built up a good client base both locally and afar.

Talleres Yogesh employs highly qualified mechanics and their skills and training are constantly expanding with the evolution of New Technology in the Automotive Industry.

The company has an Insurance approved BODYSHOP and Diagnostic

equipment that provides an accurate analysis of any problems with your car.

Whatever the problem is they will find a solution. Repairs and yearly car servic­ es can be arranged at Talleres Yogesh including pre­ITV´s and an ITV. Talleres Yogesh are Ford specialists.

Substitution cars are available by prior arrangement and they also provide a breakdown service. Latta takes care of the administration side of the business and also has experience in dealing with any paperwork relating to Trafico. She deals with ownership transfer of docu­ ments, re­registration of vehicles from Foreign to Spanish plates, Baja of cars and any other problems or queries relat­ ing to car paperwork. Yogesh can be contacted on 669013522 and Latta on 620361900.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

CAR SEATS FOR CHILDREN THE LAW IN SPAIN Much has already been written about the importance of fit­ ting the correct car safety seat for babies and children. This guide will assume that nobody needs to be convinced of that fact, but will instead look at the regulations and the law here in Spain concerning What type of car seat should be fitted for babies and children of what age group.

It is the legal responsibility of the driver of the vehicle to ensure that all of his passengers are wearing the appropri­ ate safety device.

Firstly, as in most other countries in the EU, the term ‘chil­ dren’ is taken to mean those under 12 years of age, and those who may be older who are less than 135cms tall.

There are basically 4 different styles of safety device used in motor vehicles: 1.) Forward facing car seats 2.) Rear facing car seats 3.) Booster seats 4.) Seat belts Age : up to 18 months / Approx. weight : up to 13 kg Fitted facing away from the direction of travel for maxi­ mum support and safety in the event of an accident, and secured by straps over each shoulder, leg and fastening between the legs. Often classified by the manufacturers as “Group 0” or “Group 0+” A baby seat should never be fitted on a front passenger seat when the car has an airbag activated.

Age: 18 months to 4 years / Approx weight: between 9 – 18 kg Similar fixing to the above seat, but forward facing.

Classified by the manufacturers as “Group 1”. Should only be fitted in the rear seats that are directly behind one of the front seats ­ IE Not in the middle.

Age: 3 to 12 Years / Approx weight: between 15 – 36 Kg When the child has outgrown a Group 0 or Group 1 seat, but is still too small to safely use the fitted seatbelt then a Group 2 seat, Which is essentially a seat that lies on top of the fitted car seat with a supportive base, back and head and utilises the cars standard seatbelt through a position locator, could be the answer. For slightly larger children, a Group 3 seat is a booster cushion that elevates the height of the child to enable them to safely use the standard seatbelt.

Age: Over 12 years / Over 135 cms tall The child should only ever use the car’s fitted seatbelt when it can pass over the shoulder joint and not touch the neck. If not they should remain with the Group 3 Booster cushion. No child under the age of 12 should be permitted to sit in the front passenger seat.

The only exceptions to these regulations are when a child is travelling a short journey in a taxi and in an urban area.

What are the legal penalties?

As the driver of a vehicle, you are legally responsible to ensure that any child passenger is using the appropriate safety device for their size and/or age. Any driver who is found to be in breach of these requirements could face a sig­ nificant fine and a deduction of 3 points.

Furthermore, failure to wear a seat belt or failure to ensure that a child passenger uses an appropriate child restraint or

BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING

We've all had those occasions where we have been let down by our car and it is not a pleasant experience. Some problems, how­ ever, may not require a call to your insurer to send a mechanic and you can get yourself back on the road with the correct car toolbox essentials.

Basic Tools to Cover Most Minor Problems

Every car should have a car jack and a wheel brace at the very least in case of a puncture so if your car is missing these then you need to buy some ASAP. So what else do you need to compile the basic car toolbox essentials?

For starters, you must have a couple of screwdrivers, one Phillips and one flathead.

Next, a set of pliers is another must as it is useful for a number of possible issues. A socket set will always come in very useful for your car as there a range of things both inside your car and under the bonnet that require a socket to remove them. An

adjustable wrench and a vice grip are also essential tools for those tough to remove things.

If you really want to be prepared for all eventualities or if you drive an older vehicle that has a history of not starting then it really is advised that you bring along either a set of jumper cables or a booster pack if you will be on the road when there are not many other road users about. The booster pack allows you to jump your car without needing to find a good samaritan and their car to help jump start you.

Cheats Essential Toolbox

If you are not prepared to invest in a range of tools then there are a couple of things you can do to make sure you still have most of the car toolbox essentials above. A good quality multitool will include two screw­ drivers, a pliers and other handy tools all in one. Some socket and wrench sizes are more common on cars so carrying 10mm and 13mm sockets can go a long way to cov­ ering most of your socket needs.

wears a seat belt according to the legal requirements described above, could invalidate any claims against your motor insurance cover.

Lastly, you may also be liable for civil proceedings for damages, if you failed to safely carry someone else's child in your vehicle.

Buses with roof gardens + five more uses for the tops of buses We’ve heard of roof gar­ dens before but not those that move. The idea behind this roof­top botanical boun­ ty, planted atop a bus in Girona, Spain, is to absorb harmful carbon dioxide emissions from towns and cities. Let’s just hope no one takes their dog up there for its morning ablutions.

Here are five more rooftop reuses for buses…

1: Coffee shop You’ve just bought a cof­ fee and the bus finally arrives, forcing you to chase after it. And we all know what happens when you run holding a hot cup of coffee!

Or you could pop up to the roof terrace once on board and enjoy a soothing sit­ down cuppa on the way to work?

2: Sunbathing terrace Top up your tan on the number 59. Hire a sun lounger for only 50c and

pre­book in advance on hot days, but we’d recommend wiping the chair down first.

Or bring a beach towel.

3: Mobile phone charging station It’s the end of the night, your phone is running low on juice and you really need to make some phone calls.

No problem – pop up to the roof deck of the night bus and use one of the charg­ ing booths. €1 for 15 mins.

4: Solar panels Turn that giant wasted area into a huge solar

panel. Not only will this replace the need for an engine but you can store the energy and sell it back to the National Grid, reducing bus fares for everyone.

5: Mayoral offices Save on fancy offices for the Mayor and his staff by converting the tops of the 700+ buses in London into rolling offices. And if you have a problem with your fare, simply pop upstairs and have a word with Boris or one of his cronies.

Friday, August 16, 2013

ONE OFF FOR EVEL

One­off custom bike to be displayed in America and internationally before being auctioned as part of a Knievel memorabilia collection in 2015 The life and achievements of Evel Knievel will be honored by a custom, one­ off motorcycle commissioned by K&K Promotions, the Las Vegas­based firm that owns the Evel Knievel brand. The bike will be hand­built by Sledgehammer Bobbers, of Warren, Ohio.

Knievel, who the New York Times called "the quintessential daredevil performer," achieved global fame with death­defying motorcycle stunts and a larger­than­life personality. He was known both for making seemingly impossible jumps and for spec­ tacular, bone­fracturing crashes ­­ and then getting up and jumping even further.

When the commemorative bike is fin­ ished it will be displayed at motorcycle shows around the U.S. and internationally,

and then sold at a major auction of Knievel memorabilia in 2015, said Kelly Knievel, president of K&K Promotions and the old­ est son of Evel.

Evel Knievel became a superstar when a first­ever attempted jump over the foun­ tains at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas went horribly wrong, slamming his body onto the concrete pavement. Hospitalised with a fractured skull, broken pelvis, hips and ribs, he was unconscious for a month. After recovering, Knievel put on his signature red­white­and­blue leathers, got back on a motorcycle, and jumped 50 stacked cars in the Los Angeles Coliseum.

During his career Knievel made hun­ dreds of jumps, was hospitalised more than 30 times by violent crashes, made and spent millions, and served six months in jail for attacking the author of an unflattering book with a baseball bat. He died in 2007, at 69.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

Hair today but not necessarily gone tomorrow Q

When I brush my hair, large chunks fall out, that has never happened before. I don’t know if it’s my age, I’m 62.

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Hair loss can be a frightening experience for anyone, especially women. However the growth of hair occurs in cycles, and the loss of hair a part of that cycle, so it’s important to understand the biology of hair to know when hair loss is a natural process. Your hair consists of 2 parts – The Shaft and Follicle. The hair shaft is the part of hair you can see, while the follicle is the invisible part underneath the ski. Hair growth occurs in 3 phases ­ Anagen (growing phase), Catagen (tran­ sitional phase) and Telogen (resting phase). The Anagen phase is the time period your hair grows the most. During this phase, club hair­ hair that has stopped growing or no longer in the Anagen phase – is pushed out, making way for faster growing hair. During this phase, hair grows as much as 1 cm every month. Some people have difficulty growing their hair beyond a certain point because they have a short Anagen phase, while those with long hair have a longer Anagen or Growing phase. The hair on your eyelashes, arms and legs also have a shorter growing phase than those on your scalp.

The Catagen phase is a transition phase when newly grown hair changes in structure before entering the growing phase.

Hair stops growing during the Telogen phase, which last around 100 days. And we shed about 100 hairs during the resting phase, every day. As we age, our hair density and structure also changes. From age 25, the diameter or width of a strand of hair starts to thin down, and by age 40, hair appears finer and less dense because there is more hair in the resting phase than the growing phase. Stress is a common

cause of hair loss. It constricts blood vessels around hair folli­ cles, starving them of nutrients and stunting their growth. The hair follicle is the fastest growing cell in the body after blood cells. But unlike blood cells, the body doesn’t consider hair cells essential, and so shunts nutrients away from the hair in times of stress. So any process that puts pressure on the body such as chronic diseases can cause hair loss. Medications cause hair loss by shortening their growing phase. Chemical products used to colour or tint hair also cause hair loss. If you want to speed up the growth of your hair, you need MSM (Methyl Sulphonyl Methane) – the natural form of sulphur in the body. Hair is mainly made from a protein called collagen, which in turn is made from sulphur. Sulphur is equally impor­ tant for maintaining healthy skin and nails, the reason why sul­ phur is known as a ‘beauty mineral’. Sulphur is found in many foods, but is easily destroyed when food is cooked or processed in any form.

TURN TO PAGE 33 FOR HIGH QUALITY SUPPLEMENTS FORM MEDB

Q A

I have dry eyes, and have tried many remedies with­ out success, what can I do?

Dry eyes can be common as we start to age. For women, it is associated with menopause, and for men, with high blood pressure, taking antidepressant medications and an enlarged prostate. Other causes of dry eyes are driving or working outside, and exposing the eyes to irritating chemicals.

But serious cases of dry eyes are caused by the autoimmune

disorder known as Sjogren’s syndrome. Dry eyes are best treated with Sea Buckthorn oil. Sea Buckthorn Oil is made from the seed, pulp and skin of the sea buckthorn berry, a rare fruit packed with hundreds of nutrients, including Omega­7 Fatty acids. One of the reasons we develop dry eyes is that the moisture contained in the eyes­ and the entire body­ changes as we age. Aside from simple lifestyle changes, other factors such as irritants and prescription drugs also contribute to the problem. While there are many causes of dry eyes, there are 2 fundamental reasons why they occur: when the eyes don’t produce enough tears or moisture to keep the eyes from dry­ ing out, and when the tears produced are normal, but the com­ position is not healthy and doesn’t stop the eyes from drying out. Over the counter drugs and artificial tears and eye drops do not work well because they don’t address the reasons why dry eyes occur in the first place. Sea Buckthorn is effective because it reduces the inflammation caused by dry eyes while increasing the secretion of tears. Most importantly, due to its high fatty acid content, especially omega­7 fatty acids, it improves the composition of tear or moisture produced by the eyes. Omega­7 fatty acid also prevents the loss of moisture from the eyes. Sea Buckthorn is effective for: relieving dry eyes; preventing eye tiredness; reducing symptoms of sjo­ gren’s; and stopping redness and irritation of the eyes. You can purchase good brands online.

PLEASE SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO contact@medb.es or to the editor of the courier.

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Heartburn remedies and relief

Despite its name, heartburn does not involve the heart but rather the oesophagus. Your oesophagus is your body’s food chute, a tunnel of muscle whose job it is to push what you swallow into your stomach. And although this is sup­ posed to be a one­way street, stomach acid sometimes rises back up, causing the fire we call heartburn.

Symptoms of heartburn can include a burning or painful sensation in the upper chest behind the breastbone, a sour taste in the mouth, belching, coughing and wheezing, diffi­ culty sleeping after eating, regurgitation, and chronic hoarseness or sore throat.

Occasional heartburn can be caused by simply eating chocolate (it relaxes the gatekeeping muscle known as the oesophageal sphincter) or lying down after a meal (the angle allows acid to escape). But a chronic burn can signal acid reflux or gastroesohageal reflux disease (GERD), a condi­ tion that occurs when the sphincter stops working properly.

Left untreated, GERD can lead to a worse oesophagus ail­ ment: cancer.

If you frequently suffer from heartburn, you are not alone.

In the United States, 44% of the adult population has report­ ed experiencing heartburn at least once a month, 14% have reported experiencing it weekly, and 7% have reported experiencing it daily. Twenty­five percent of women have heartburn during their pregnancy. People are usually given a diagnosis of GERD when they have symptoms of heartburn and acid regurgitation at least once a week.

Nocturnal gastroesophageal reflux, which may result in heartburn during sleep, has been demonstrated to be asso­ ciated with a more severe form of GERD. Unlike upright reflux (experienced while awake), which tends to be short and resolves quickly, supine reflux (experienced during sleep) tends to be longer and resolves slowly.

Recommendations for Wellness • Eat small, frequent meals to avoid overeating. A distend­ ed stomach increases pressure on the oesophageal sphinc­ ter, making heartburn more likely.

• Never lie down after eating because when you lie down after eating, food and acid are more easily pushed back into the oesophagus. Wait at least three hours after meals before reclining, to allow acid production to subside and the stom­ ach to empty.

• Avoid (or at least lessen the intake of) food and sub­ stances that decrease muscle tone in general and slow down the action of the oesophageal muscular ring. Such foods and substances include fat, chocolate, cola drinks, coffee, and tobacco. Citrus fruits and tomatoes may also increase the risk of heartburn, especially when consumed before bedtime.

• We know that an allergy to cow's milk can cause acid reflux in babies. This is neither uncommon nor is it limited to infants. Adults often lack enough of the enzyme needed to digest lactose (milk sugar) or may have a sensitivity to milk protein. Either can cause heartburn. Some people drink milk to neutralize acid in their stomachs. This is only a temporary fix. Milk actually raises acid levels after it reduces stomach acid.

• Some people think that tea and alcohol contribute to acid reflux. Not according to two large studies in Norway with over 47,000 participants. Neither tea nor alcohol, in any quantity, affected them. Instead, researchers found that smoking daily for 20 years, or adding salt to foods for 20 years, were each linked to a 70% increased risk for heart­ burn.

• If you smoke, stop! Smoking decreases the strength of the oesophageal valve, thereby allowing stomach juice to reflux, or flow backward into the oesophagus. Smoking also seems to promote the movement of bile salts from the intes­

tine to the stomach, which makes the stomach juice more harmful. Finally, smoking may directly injure the oesopha­ gus, making it less able to resist further damage from refluxed material.

• Helpful foods include pineapple, brown rice, potatoes, beans, whole wheat pasta, yogurt, salmon, tuna, sunflower seeds, asparagus, mushrooms and Brazil nuts.

• Avoid aspirin, ibuprofen, tetracycline, quinidine (a drug that reduces heart arrhythmias), potassium chloride, and iron.

• Be cautious about over­the­counter antacids. If you use antacids regularly, over a period of time, they can contribute to a host of more serious problems including arthritis, asth­ ma, depression, digestive problems, and osteoporosis.

Antacids don't correct heartburn. They just treat its symp­ toms.

• Be wary of any new drug because it takes many years for the full story to emerge. Propulsid is an outstanding case in point. This marginally effective but widely prescribed heartburn drug was removed from the market because it caused heart arrhythmia when combined with other common drugs, such as antibiotics. Propulsid was on the market sev­ eral years before this potentially fatal adverse interaction was detected.

• If you are overweight — and even if you're not — embark on a diet and exercise program. Increased energy level and loss of weight will serve to take pressure off the oesophageal muscular ring, helping to increase its produc­ tivity. Norwegian researchers found that people who swam or jogged for 30 minutes once a week were 50% less likely to suffer from the condition than the couch potatoes were.

• Do not wear tight clothes or tight belts.

• Sleep on your left side. Researchers at Graduate Hospital in Philadelphia monitored overnight ten middle­ aged men and women with GERD, recording sleep positions and the number and duration of reflux episodes. All ten ate a greasy, high­fat dinner and a bedtime snack that night, a sure prescription for heartburn. The volunteers experienced reflux more often when sleeping on their backs and right sides than on their left sides. Moreover, acid took longer to clear from the oesophagus when they slept on their right sides compared to other positions.

• Elevate the head of the bed or sleep with extra pillows.

Make diet and lifestyle changes first. Then, if you don't get enough relief from these changes, talk to your doctor.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

Tony

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Friday, August 16, 2013

Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

BLOOM-ING WONDERFUL

Have you ever been talking to friends and used the remark Bongo Bongo Land? I bet you have. But when an MEP uses the phase at a closed UKIP supporters' meeting and it's recorded, it's bound to "greatly offend" the politically cor­ rect lefties.

And that's just what happened when outspoken MEP Godfrey Bloom spoke out about the huge amount of money pouring out of Britain in overseas aid (It's about £17 billion every year. YES. Every year!) at a time when Britain owes trillions of pounds and is getting fur­ ther in debt every second.

Last week, I wrote about how seri­ ous Britain's economic plight really is, so Mr Bloom is right to raise the ques­ tion whether we can really afford to be so generous. Sadly, the politically cor­ rect row has hidden what the debate should really be about. How much of the money actually goes to people who desperately need it ­ to keep them alive. I don't mind betting it's quite a small percentage.

Godfrey Bloom was trying to point out that much of the aid was being syphoned off by corrupt leaders in many of the 28 countries that Britain is giving money to. It ends up financing fighter jets, designer sunglasses and posh pads in Paris. Why on earth are we giving money to Pakistan for example, which has nuclear weapons, and India, which is rapidly becoming a world economic power house?

When I was a child, I was hearing the sto­ ries of the tragedy that was Africa. Of mil­ lions dying of starvation, through wars and famines. How many trillions of pounds and dollars have poured into that continent down the decades which has been wasted? It's like pouring money into a bottomless pit. The money would have been far better spent on contraception to avoid the birth of babies which cannot be properly nurtured. Perhaps if less money was wasted by handing cash to dictators, despots or the just plain crooked leaders in Third World countries, we would have more to donate when there is a real emergency. So, thanks Mr Bloom, for opening the debate. And good for UKIP politicians for bringing this to the British peo­ ple, warts and all, and so much the better if it upsets the wretched politically correct brigade who frankly make me sick for contin­ ually calling anyone who tries to discuss this matter and also immigration, as racist.

Ironically, only a few days after the news­ paper furore over Mr Bloom's remarks hit the press, we hear that almost half a billion pounds worth of humanitarian aid, destined for the starving in Somalia, was stolen in a raid by Islamist militants. No doubt the wind­ fall was used to buy weapons or support ter­ rorism somewhere. Proof, if any more was needed, that we need much more control as to where aid, taken from our pockets in tax, whether we like it or not, in cash­strapped Britain, goes and ends up.

JUST imagine this scenario: You own a caravan and every year go away on holiday in it. Then it is stolen and for 18 months you hear nothing. But then, police tell you it's been discovered in a travellers' site. Your hopes are raised that it will finally be returned to you. But no ­ not in wonderful human rights Britain, where ownership counts for nothing compared with peoples' human rights, no matter who they are. The van was stolen and sold to a couple who are

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now living in the van in the travellers' site. Apparently they paid £300 for it ­ yes £300 for an extremely well­ maintained, pristine van! And did they sus­ pect it was stolen? Oh, of course not! And because getting the "squatters" out will deprive them of a roof over their heads, it's deemed unlawful ­ irrespective of the fact that they are there illegally anyway. Police say their hands are tied. You know exactly where I stand on this issue: the travellers are all living illegally. They should have their vans, cars and posses­ sions seized from them immediate­ ly they trespass on private or coun­ cil­owned land. They are living at the fringe of society, escaping hav­ ing to pay mortgages, rent, and the taxes everyone else has to pay, and they cause damage to get onto the land and cause problems when they are there. So to hell with them!

And the sooner Britain gets rid of this stupid human rights legislation and stop submitting the country to dictats from any European legal body the better.

I applaud the noises coming from the government over the ridiculous parking charges imposed on motorists by councils throughout the country. But I suggest it's little more than pre­election vote catching. One of the latest ideas mooted by government was that coun­ cils should allow car parking where there are double yellow lines for 15 minutes to help in the revival of town and city centres and help hard­pressed town centre businesses. Let's look at this in detail. Yes, businesses in town and city centres need every help they can get ­ they are in competition from out of town shopping centres where parking is free. But double yellow lines ­ ridiculous. Double yel­ lows are there because parking is either dangerous or would cause an obstruction, or both. Single yellows are a different matter.

There are so many roads in the UK where councils have seen fit to stop car parking during the working day and allow it after 6pm. Why? So that motorists are forced into car parks or into on­street bays where they have to pour cash into meters. Bloody coun­ cils.

How many times do you see signs point­ ing to a town centre pay­and­display car

them. A couple bought a lovely 17th century, thatched country cottage and, in the process of restoring it, repainted it, taking it to its original pink colour, according to the couple.

Along come meddling, interfering councillors and council staff and low and behold, they are ordered to tone the colour down to a lighter shade. It costs a fortune to restore and keep historic buildings, and a damn sight more because of the demands from council conservation staff who seem to pre­ fer a historic building to fall to the ground than have it altered in any way from the orig­ inal. You can't preserve things in aspic. To hell with councils and meddling officials.

park and every approach road there are single yellow lines preventing car park­ ing. You know it's for no other reason than to force you into paying for parking.

Bloody councils.

So come on government.

If you are serious that you want to see the revival of town centres, then act to get the strangle­hold of local government out of them. Get your hands round the necks of council­ lors and council bureau­ crats and strangle the life out of them. The public would applaud you because in the process you could reduce people's council tax by hundreds of pounds a year.

Allow car parking on sin­ gle yellow lines and if you've got the balls, ban councils from charging for on street parking. Answer me this: Why should motorists have to pay for parking in the street? It's nothing more than yet another tax on motorists, and let's start getting rid of wretched parking meters gobbling our cash for nothing.

Still on the subject of motoring, Britain's

THE government is also asking people what they think about legislation to clamp down on owners of dangerous dogs which savage people or other animals.

Come on Coalition, stop talking, and start doing. We need legislation now to make owning a dog which attacks, for whatever reason, a criminal offence which is punish­ able with prison as well as a fine.

Some people are misguided enough to own "pets" which can kill. It's illegal to own firearms in the UK, and unlawful to carry a knife or other similar weapon. It should be just as unlawful to own a dangerous pet.

I was horrified as no doubt everyone else was, that a 3­metre long python was allowed to escape and strangle two defenceless chil­ dren. I know this was in Canada and not the UK or Spain, but how long must the human

roads are worse than ever, and the govern­ ment seem to be spending less than ever on the trunk road network. The stretch of the main south coast road (which should have been upgraded to a motorway decades ago) the A27, between Polegate and Firle is still the same as it was when I was a child ­ still the same single carriageway, now taking a huge volume of traffic.

But it was red rag to a bull when I saw an official notice put up at the side of the road at Polegate proclaiming that it would only take 20 minutes to travel much further by train. Why are governments blinkered into believing that people want a super rail net­ work when they really want decent roads so they can travel as quickly as possible from A­B rather than from A to a railway station, then to another railway station and then to B ­ rigmarole which takes probably twice the time and at hugely greater cost.

Regular readers know how I hate con­ trol­freak councillors and staff. Here's another example of why I have no time for

race go on keeping "pets" that are no more pets than a polar bear is. It should be stopped and these dangerous animals either put down, sent back to the wild or kept exclusively in zoos.

Still on the subject of dogs, my wife and I went for a walk in a nearby forest on the Downs in West Sussex and were horrified to see bags full of dog poo lying around and then we spotted more bags hanging in tree branches all over the place. This is despite waste bins only a few hundred yards away.

What is the matter with some dog owners?

How filthy and selfish are they? And on the subject of selfish dog owners ­ we are living in a park home estate while in the UK and a few lodges from us is one occupied by a couple who between them have five yappy dogs. These dogs bark every time anyone passes and start a terrible racket, yet not once has the couple done anything to stop it.

What's wrong with some dog owners ­ who put their animals before anything or anyone else? Mental!

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Friday, August 16, 2013

Horrorscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Chunks of meat will plague you today...or give you the plague. The mystics are being terribly vague on this one. One of the things you've always liked about life is how seemingly lucky you are. Expect big changes this week, ya jammy so and so. Careful how you handle yourself today ­ others may be more tense than usual.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Opportunity is waiting round every corner.

All you've got to do is catch up with him, put him in a big box and beat him with big sticks. Scraping the barrel doesn't always mean that you have to consume your own waste. Your stupidity today will be rivalled only by your embarrassment. Grey is def­ initely the colour of the week for you.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 Chasing cats and dogs around the streets after midnight is probably not the best way to endear yourself to new neighbours.

Login to every site you can and you'll soon understand what the meaning of the inter­ net is. The countries that have issued orders for your arrest will close in today and cause you to go without clean pants for two days.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 You're not jinxed so staying in bed all day is not going to work. All the advice I could share with you would blow your mind and leave nothing to the imagination. Today might be the day when you get stuck in a hole with a dwarf. Remember all the research you did into dwarf habits in order to prevent mental breakdown.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Any dreams you have been granted recently will turn out to be hollow and easily shattered. Parts of you feel like giv­ ing up the ghost today, but feeding those parts with ice­cream and bacon bits may revive them, to an extent. Everything you are thinking about will end up getting lost in some sort of fuzzy logic.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Dank inhospitable service station toilets may turn out to be your best friend today.

Walking down the street with a spring in your step is a great way to let the world know how insufferable you really are.

Keep an eye on your watch today as time might run away from you. Tomorrow will bring fresh excitement and vigour to your otherwise dull self.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 The smoothness of your arms are testi­ ment to all your work in that area. Morale boosts are for needy geeks ­ you're as hard as nails and neither require nor deserve any praise. Baskets of eggs may cause problems for you today as you try to take on too much work. Your tenden­ cies may get you into trouble today. Or it might just be a day like every other day.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Waiting for a lift to come is like going down the stairs, only less calories. See? Everything you have done is brilliant and you will get the reward you richly deserve.

All for which you have fought will be lost if you cannot control your big toe. Wise words which may be applicable. Ignore those who laugh at your sense of style.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Your pedestal is going to be kicked out from under you today, as loved ones will embellish you with hateful phrases. Your irrelevance becomes clear today and you will feel a new sense of freedom.

Laminated wallpaper can be a great idea to turn your walls into washable, wipeable blank canvasses.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 Supper is something that comes to those who last out the day. You may be too tired, or otherwise incapacitated. Your aim to drink 10­15 litres of water today may come crashing down on you when you're stuck in traffic later this week. Your future may be tainted by a mistake in your past. Now is the time for a new res­ olution.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 You dig? ODBC Error ­ 1305 | Horoscope cannot be created for someone as stupid as you. <> It all used to be so much eas­ ier, but with age you're finding certain things much more difficult. Things are going to come to a head today and either go well, go badly, or go...kinda...OK.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 "Going Dutch" does not mean having it away with 4 people at once whilst smoking a jewel encrusted pipe. Ten to one may seem like fair odds, but then how likely are you to be able to successfully breed Pandas with Llamas (a Panama). Jesus himself could not have done a better job than you will do today. Although Jesus would probably have a better idea of the correct tenses to use in the previous sentence.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Call 966 921 003 NOW!

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Friday, August 16, 2013

HOW FACEBOOK BOOKED TASH A JOB IN BOOKS

A FACEBOOK reunion with a childhood friend has triggered a fascinating new career for Los Montesinos­ based Natasha Holding – as a book editor.

West London­born Tash moved to Saudi Arabia at the age of six before return­ ing to the UK to complete her sixth­form education at the Woodroffe School in Lyme Regis, Dorset.

It was there that she got to know Laurence Patterson, who with his wife Steph now runs the Crooked Cat Publishing company.

At 17, Tash came to Torrevieja “supposedly just to work for the summer and have some fun’’.

She recalls: “Two weeks in, met a young man (who is now my husband) and never looked back! This summer is my 18th year over here, and I don´t think I would ever want to leave!’’

She learned Spanish dur­ ing her first year “the best way, by making friends with only Spanish people – you feel like a fool for a while, but it´s worth it!’’

Author Adam S Leslie with the book Tash helped to edit.

Her editing work stemmed from that Facebook reunion with Laurence. “When he began his venture a couple of years ago I began follow­ ing his progress with great interest,’’ she explained.

“He´d mentioned a few times about writing a book, but I wasn´t sure about that.

He then mentioned about editing, which definitely appealed to me more.

“When he signed new

author Adam S. Leslie to his publishing house, he intro­ duced me to Adam and we began work on his debut novel, Kaleidoscope, which has just been released for sale’’.

Kaleidoscope was released for sale on Friday August 9 in both e­book and paperback versions.

By 9.30am, it was already ranked inside the Top 50 genre charts on

Amazon.co.uk By the end of the day, it had peaked at Nº12, and was just over 4,000 overall.

Says a naturally delighted Tash: “Working together via email and Skype conversa­ tions has been great, and definitely a huge learning curve for all of us. It is a hugely exciting time for all of us – I´ve never seen my name in print before and nei­ ther has Adam!’’

Synopsis of Kaleidoscope : Peter Tobey lives an idyllic existence of energy drinks, mindless television sitcoms, phobia­induced hypersensi­ tivity – and shopping.

Into his world comes Kaleidoscope, a sinister and addictive sitcom which turns bright, happy shoppers into lethargic drones.

Peter realises that he and his small group of friends must make the ultimate sac­ rifice: end Kaleidoscope, flee their beloved shopping centre, and be the first peo­ ple in generations to step Outside and into the great unknown...

Make it over for Makeover Day!

CALLING all ladies – don’t miss Sunday’s Makeover Day at Bar Sofia in El Raso. It starts at 12 noon and food will be available. If you would like to come along and watch Mirror Image from Pueblo Bravo perform some makeovers please email sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk to reserve a seat in the comfort of an air conditioned room. Tickets bought in advance are €2 and this gives you a drink to the value of €2 ­ everyone is welcome on the day but priority seating will be given to those who have tickets or have reserved them by email.

Treatments at very special prices include Indian Head Massage Taster €5, Foot Spa and Massage Taster €5 File and polish just €4 and Haircut €6. And one lucky lady can have her colours done for FREE ­ again just email sueinthe­ sun@hotmail.co.uk and you will be sent a full list of treat­ ments on offer. There will be a raffle during the afternoon in aid of The Children's Home in Elche.

SHOW SOME FAITH

Popular local band, The Faith, will be raising the decibel level in aid of the Torrevieja homeless charity Reachout tomorrow. The rockers will be part of a grand fun day at The Watering Hole bar in San Luis, Torrevieja.

The fun has all been put together by the Blue Angels bikers who have been supporting Reachout on a regular basis and the entertainment will start from noon with the Radio Torrevieja Roadshow. There’ll be a fund­raising tombola and raffle, as well as a table top sale from 9am, with The Faith getting their guitars out at 8.30pm.

27

Friday, August 16, 2013

BENIJÓFAR BOOST

SOLO’S SEPTEMBER RETURN Torrevieja’s 50+ SOLOs are taking time off this August from their lunches, but have many ideas lined up for their autumn. They‘ll be next meeting on Saturday September 7th for a Buffet Lunch at the Reflections restaurant at Lakeside, San Luis starting at 1.00pm.

For more information about this social group that also sup­ port homeless UK veterans, phone Ruth on 966 789 063

FUN AND TREASURE

The Benijófar Crisis Appeal was given a 950 Euro lift with the presenta­ tion of a cheque following a recent rock n’roll night at the ‘El Alto La Dolores Restaurant’ in Guardamar.

Close to 200 people enjoyed the entertainment from Woody & The Peckers, and the fruits of everybody’s

efforts was presented to Benijófar Social Services, to help local families who have been severely affected by the recession.

The money will be used to provide essential items like food, clothing, and school books.

Event organiser, Marlene Brown,

handed over the cheque to Marisol Guijarro Ginenez and Pilar Yagues Illesoas from Benijófar Social Services.

Also pictured are Restaurant Owner Andreas, his Manager, Cornel, and Norman & Karen Love from the Post Room Benijofar, who provided the pub­ licity and promotion for the event.

La Marina’s cancer fight

The AECC Contra el Cancer charity is better off to the tune of over 4 thou­ sand Euros after a big fund­raising push this year on the La Marina Urbanisation.

Local councillor, Jeff Wiszniewski handed over a cheque for 4163 Euros to the Torrevieja branch President, Maria Wilson, at the Urbanisation’s summer fiesta.

Fund­raising events included a Wellness day and a sponsored walk, as well Torrevieja Cricket Club members organising a charity cricket match.

A HOPEFUL START A unique group in the Murcia region is looking to care for the carers who look after their partners who suffer from Alzheimer’s and similar diseases.

The Hopefuls are looking to meet on a regular basis in the San Javier area to provide support as well as just having a good fun get­together.

The group will be meeting next Friday lunchtime (August 23rd) at 11.30am in Lui’s lounge at the San Javier Campsite for a drink and a chat. You can stay on and have some lunch, as well as shooting a game of pool or playing cards and dominoes.

If you want to join The Hopefuls, then phone 968 185 008 or 667 587 187

SHIP SHAPE

A LIFE ON THE FUNDRAISING WAVE It’s all aboard for the Help at Home charity, HAH, as local sailors will be tak­ ing to the sea next month for a special charity race.

It’s all being organised by the S a i l i n g Association Mar Menor, SAMM, and any nervous landlubbers will also be able to enjoy a Treasure Hunt on Saturday September 21st.

The boats will start from the CAR Centre, Los Narejos, Los Alcazares and will sail a course in the Mar Menor. The race, which will begin at noon, will last around 3 hours, with prizes being awarded for the win­ ning cruiser and the winning

El Raso’s Bar Sofia is gearing up for a fun walk next month, to raise money for research into Crohn’s Disease.

They’ll be supporting the CICRA charity, who in turn sup­ port young sufferers of Crohn’s, with the 5km walk on Sunday September 15th. The walk will be to the lake and back, starting at 10.00am, with registration underway from 9.15am.

The registration fee will be 5 Euros per walker, but any extra sponsorship money will be gratefully received!

Free drinks will be available at The Old Finca before the last leg of the walk, and that will also the base for the fun Treasure Hunt which will be open to walkers and non­ walkers!

For more details, and news of a free to enter competi­ tion, just E­Mail sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or text 629 869 959

PING PONG HELPS HUNGRY FAMILIES

The Torrevieja branch of the Royal Naval Association will be piping everybody on board for their next meeting on Wednesday September 4th.

The group gets together on the first Wednesday of each month at the Restaurante El Paraiso, Urb. Jardin del Mar 3, (behind Carrefour), Torrevieja, with a 5.00pm start. The branch has gone on from strength having been formed 21 years ago, raising funds for the Association as well as local and national charities.

For more details, phone the chairman, Mike Wright, on 966 722 895 or the secretary, Margaret Forshaw, on 966 921 996.

KNIT ONE, HELP PLENTY!

dinghy.

All SAMM groups from dinghies to cruisers and day boats will be represented and other boat owners and sailors are more than wel­ come to join the race to help raise funds.

Entry and sponsorship forms can be found on the website: ­ www.sailingmar­ menor.com

A local Table Tennis club has raised 500 Euros to help the needy of San Fulgencio and La Marina. The Brian O’Reilly Table Tennis Group was formed last December, as the La Marina Table Tennis club was renamed in tribute to its founder who died suddenly at the end of last year.

In keeping with Brian’s wishes, the club uses match fees to raise money for charity, with the first cheque going to buy food for needy local families.

The fee per session is a minimum of 3 Euros, with the group playing every Friday afternoon between 1pm and 5pm at the La Marina Centro Social. The club has some 25 mem­ bers with an average session featuring a dozen or so play­ ers. For more information, phone James on 965 073 907

Clickety Clack Rita certainly has the knack! In just two to three days this lady can make a lacy baby cardigan or a modern jumper for a five or six year old. Rita contact­ ed The Courier as she has already knitted more than 15 items and wanted them to go to a worthy cause.

They will now be sent to The Children's Homes in Altea and Elche.

All Rita now needs is a constant supply of wool, preferably double knitting wool so if there are any other "Knitty Noras" out there who have lost the knack or have wool left over please contact sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or text or call 629 869 959.

As winter draws on, Rita will be making scarfs and bobble hats. Although she would mainly like pale colours, all wool is welcome as she will be making some colourful items for the older children in the cold season.

28

Friday, August 16, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 7 represents G and 17 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Therefore (4) 4 Simple (4) 9 Visualise (7) 10 Knick­knack (5) 11 Percussion instrument (5,4) 12 Donkey (3) 13 Guardian (6) 15 Dairy product (6) 17 Owns (3) 18 Candidate for a post (9) 21 Devout (5) 22 Appease (7) 23 Surrender (4) 24 Look for (4)

2 Emperor of Ethiopia (1930 to 1974) (5,8) 3 Curse (5) 4 Exclude from a church (13) 5 Retainer (7) 6 Children's puzzle (6) 7 Information (4) 8 Employer (4) 14 Renovate (7) 16 Preferably (6) 17 Optimism (4) 19 Tubes (5) 20 Distantly (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Success, 5 Cases, 8 Amnesia, 9 Again, 10 Hyena, 11 Obscene, 12 Always, 14 Chaste, 17 Carnage, 19 Recap, 22 Alike, 23 Special, 24 Merit, 25 Mistake.

Down: 1 Smash, 2 Canoe, 3 Ecstasy, 4 Season, 5 Crass, 6 Stamens, 7 Sincere, 12 Acclaim, 13 Warrior, 15 Harness, 16 Jetsam, 18 Alert, 20 China, 21 Pulse.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Chief means of support (4) 3 Drama writer for enclo­ sure (7) 7 Institute legal proceedings against Johnny Cash’s boy (3) 8 This dowdy woman is loud at first, then rum in a quiet way (5) 9 Wines brewed for strength (5) 10 French and Germans agree to create contact board (5) 11 Solitary person seen in cyclone region (5) 12 Another mason com­ plains (5) 13 Hardy character? (4) 14 Embarrassingly demon­ strates tapestry (5) 16 Europeans at the ends of the Earth (5) 18 Sailor­to­be gets the French priest (4) 20 Revive some of Irene Walters’ shows (5) 22 Research delivers? No sir (5) 24 Communication is a mile off (5) 25 Light wood from herbal samples (5)

26 A second Scot from the Far East (5) 27 The Listener is from the Arabian Peninsula (3) 28 One in the know residing endlessly in confusion (7) 29 Unruly mate in the squad (4) Down 1 Messrs Ramsey and Garnett, a combination from Lucerne (7) 2 Agitate cold, hard pot (5) 3 A long bench? It’s for the birds (6) 4 Tea producing zone in India as named after American uncle (5) 5 I plan it all out, then duck (7) 6 Amphibians’ end product is in the news (5) 7 Wears it at the games (6) 15 Festers the right joints (7) 16 Street trader led rap work out (6) 17 I left terminus, breaking a bone (7) 19 Work hard on rodent (6) 20 Bunny’s tail removed by religious leader (5) 21 You and I, Al deserted open country (5) 23 Behold the wrath of the river (5)

27 Hearing organ (3) STANDARD CLUES 28 Privileged one (7) Across 29 Side (4) 1 Curve (4) Down 3 Toddlers’ enclosure (7) 1 Fodder plant (7) 7 Prosecute (3) 2 Butter­making device (5) 8 Dowdy person (5) 3 Small black­headed 9 Muscle connector (5) European gulls (6) 10 Medium’s board (5) 4 Indian border state (5) 11 Recluse (5) 5 Long­necked river duck (7) 12 Complains (5) 6 Slender amphibians (5) 13 Shortened version of 7 Olympic events (6) Theresa or Esther (4) 15 Causes resentment (7) 14 Tapestry screen (5) 16 Door­to­door salesman (6) 16 Fishing rods (5) 17 Breastbone (7) 18 Clergyman (4) 19 Large semi­aquatic rodent 20 Renovate (5) (6) 22 Dig deeply (5) 24 Electronic communication 20 Jewish spiritual leader (5) 21 Area of open woodland (5) (5) 23 France’s longest river (5) 25 Light wood (5) 26 Oriental (5) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Nibs, 3 Sewing, 8 Climate, 9 Flees, 10 Sugar, 11 Results, 12 Across, 14 Kisser, 18 Toccata, 20 Sates, 22 Nouns, 23 Iceberg, 24 Dearth, 25 Pets.

Down: 1 Nicosia, 2 Bring, 3 Sherry, 4 Wafts, 5 Needles, 6 Madras, 7 Isis, 13 Recluse, 15 Instep, 16 Resigns, 17 Radish, 18 Tiny, 19 Aesir, 21 There.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Act Add Apt Art Ate Bee Cat Dye Eat Eke Ell Gel Had Ice Nab Ode Pal

Pay Set Ski Sob Spa Sup Tee The Use Yet You 4 letter words Alga Arts Base Beta Clef Coco

Cote Deaf Deer Free Isle Lead Lees Lets Lieu Ogle Ogre Once Outs Quit Rely Sari Sere Sire Slay

Type Wrap Year 5 letter words Acute Adage Asset Atlas Atoll Booed Dazes Hoist Parer Pique Pleat Sorel Teeth Tesla

6 letter words Choral Crosse Deluge Looter Quarry Rosary Safely Surety 9 letter words Casserole Erstwhile Gazetteer Grotesque

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Carne (4) 3 Tijeras (8) 9 Reign (7) 10 Hedgehog (5) 11 Pensamiento (flor) (5) 12 Sage (herb) (6) 14 Escalera (de edificio) (6) 16 Fuga (6) 19 Sister­in­law (6) 21 Oak (tree) (5) 24 People (seen as a mass) (5) 25 Químico (7) 26 Tan pronto como (2,4,2) 27 Muy (mucho) (4)

Down 1 Butterfly (8) 2 Aeroplane (5) 4 Elegir (escoger) (6) 5 Cáscara (de huevo, nuez) (5) 6 Office (workplace) (7) 7 Nieve (4) 8 Abogado (6) 13 Hace poco (8) 15 Pupils (school) (f) (7) 17 Frying pan (6) 18 March (as soldiers) (6) 20 Fir tree (5) 22 Novia (en boda) (5) 23 Water (4)

29

Friday, August 16, 2013 Across 6 With which stringed instru­ ment would you principally associate Julian Lloyd Webber, Jacqueline du Pré and Mstislav Rostropovich?

(5) 7 The name of which noc­ turnal burrowing mammal of the grasslands of Africa that feeds on termites, comes from the Afrikaans for ‘earth pig’? (8) 10 What word is often used to describe the decaying flesh of dead animals? (7) 11 Which Turkish dynasty has given its name to a thick cushion used as a seat? (7) 12 In computing, what name is given to devices that are connected to computers to allow access to wireless broadband or use of protect­ ed software? (7) 13 Which shrub with pendu­ lous tubular flowers that are typically of two contrasting colours was named in hon­ our of a 16th century German botanist? (7) 14 With which sport would you principally associate Johnny Leach, Chester Barnes and Matthew Syed?

(5,6) 19 Which adjective means

‘of or containing water’? (7) 21 Which large extinct ele­ phant of the Pleistocene epoch, was typically hairy with a sloping back and long curved tusks? (7) 23 Which verb means ‘to lose or cause to lose lustre, especially as a result of exposure to air or moisture’?

(7) 25 Which dish consists of cheese melted with ale or beer served over toast? (7) 26 Which national park in the Sierra Nevada in central California, includes sheer granite cliffs and the highest waterfall in the US? (8) 27 What was the stage sur­ name of the Swedish­born film actress and international star and icon during Hollywood’s silent and clas­ sic periods who was nomi­ nated four times for an Academy Award and received an honorary one in 1954 for her ‘luminous and unforgettable screen per­ formances’? (5) Down 1 Which woodwind instru­ ment has a single­reed mouthpiece, a cylindrical tube with a flared end and

SUDOKU (Hard)

Quiz Word

holes stopped by keys? (8) 2 Which adjective that means ‘cheerful and friendly’ originally meant ‘under the influence of the planet

Jupiter’? (6) 3 What was the surname of the French Romantic com­ poser, pianist and organist whose works include the

tone poem Danse macabre (1874) and the Carnaval des animaux (1886)? (5­5) 4 Stephan Remmler, Gert Krawinkel and Peter Behrens were the three members of which German band whose only UK single was Da Da Da in 1982? (4) 5 What is the surname of John and Edward, the Irish singing and television pre­ senting duo known profes­ sionally as Jedward? (6) 6 The male of which large bug with long transparent wings, found chiefly in warm countries, makes a loud, shrill droning noise after dark by vibrating two mem­ branes on its abdomen? (6) 8 Which large palace is the official residence of the Pope in Rome? (7) 9 What was the surname of the American professional golfer, nicknamed Slammin’ Sammy, who won a record 82 PGA Tour events, includ­ ing seven majors? (5) 13 What name is often applied to an open­air street market for inexpensive or second­hand articles? (4,6) 15 Which non­metallic heavy volatile corrosive dark brown liquid element

belonging to the halogens is found in sea water? (7) 16 Which ‘avian creature’ was the title of the first UK hit single by the Canadian country­pop singer Anne Murray? (8) 17 Which is drink made by adding a shot of espresso coffee to a glass or cup of frothy steamed milk? (5) 18 Historically the name given to the Jewish quarter in a city, which word has come to mean the part of a city, especially a slum area, occupied by a minority group or groups? (6) 20 Which verb means both ‘to pull (something, especial­ ly a tree or plant) out of the ground’ and ‘to move (some­ one) from their home or a familiar location’? (6) 22 What name for an optical illusion caused by atmos­ pheric conditions, especially the appearance of a sheet of water in a desert or on a hot road caused by the refrac­ tion of light from the sky by heated air is derived from the Latin for ‘look at’? (6) 24 What name is given to pellets of frozen rain that fall in showers from cumulonim­ bus clouds? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH ACAMPAR ­ CAMPING Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

literature QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. MAD 2. Booker McConnell 3. Wolf 4. Scarlet Pimpernel 5. Helen of Troy 6. Caesar's Ghost 7. The Time Machine,

by H.G. Wells. 8. Nevil Shute 9. Tree 10. Tantalus 11.

Charlie Chan 12. Mjolnir 13. Boris Pasternak 14. Doc Savage 15. Fertility

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Slalom, 4 Espresso, 9 Amulet, 10 Recitals, 12 Fall, 13 Banks, 14 Oche, 17 Lingua franca, 20 Breaststroke, 23 Elia, 24 Accra, 25 Arid, 28 Mantissa, 29 Violet, 30 Napoleon, 31 Plasma.

Down: 1 Scaffold, 2 Aquiline, 3 Opel, 5 Steak tartare, 6 Rain, 7 Snatch, 8 Oyster, 11 San Francisco, 15 Munro, 16 Scott, 18 No­frills, 19 Vendetta, 21 German, 22 Kidnap, 26/27 Kill Bill.

la estaquilla

dar un paseo

la esterilla

el campo

la linterna

el fuego

la mochila

el paisaje

la naturaleza

el saco de dormir

la navaja

la brújula

la tienda

la cuerda

los binoculares

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

16.los binoculares.

1.armar la tienda,

j.the sleeping bag, k.the tent, l.the pen knife, m.the fire,

2.dar un paseo, 3.el campo, 4.el fuego, 5.el paisaje,

a.the countryside, b.the string,

n.the compass,

6.el saco de dormir, 7.la brújula,

c.the binoculars, d.nature,

o.the camping mat, p.the torch.

8.la cuerda, 9.la estaquilla,

e.to put up the tent,

10.la esterilla, 11.la linterna,

f.to go for a walk,

12.la mochila, 13.la naturaleza,

g.the rucksack, h.the scenery,

14.la navaja, 15.la tienda,

i.the tent peg,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1e, 2f, 3a, 4m, 5h, 6j, 7n, 8b, 9i, 10o, 11p, 12g, 13d, 14l, 15k, 16c.

1. In what magazine does Alfred E. Newman appear?

2. Which literary prize started in 1968?

3. What was the name of Rip Van Winkle's dog?

4. In literature who is the alter ego of Percy Blakney?

5. Who was the mother of Castor and Pollux?

6. Whose ghost appears in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar?

7. In what book did we meet the Eoli and the Morlocks?

8. Who wrote 'A Town Like Alice'?

9. Yggdrasil is what in Norse mythology?

10. Which mythological King was punished by standing in a pool of water which disappeared every time he tried to take drink?

11. Earl D. Biggers created which oriental detective?

12. What was the name of Norse god Thor's hammer?

13. Who wrote 'Dr. Zhivago'?

14. Who in books and films was the 'Man of Bronze'?

15. Freyr was the Norse god of what?

armar la tienda

Fill It In

30

Friday, August 16, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY with ALEX TRELINSKI The always plain­speaking actor, Steven Berkoff, last week slated the BBC for broadcasting garbage, saying that he watched its output “almost with tears”.

I take it then that Berkoff would have gone into convul­ sions as well as heavily soil­ ing himself if his eyes had festooned themselves on BBC1’s latest apology for Saturday entertainment called That Puppet Game Show.

Muppet creator, Jim Henson, would be turning in his TV Heaven grave right now to see what the compa­ ny that still bears his name has come up with in conjunc­ tion with the BBC. The Muppet Show had high pro­ duction values with loads of fun and a collection of char­ acters that you fell in love with, and fortunately they are still with us on the big screen,

THAT RUBBISH PUPPET SHOW

with their next outing starring Ricky Gervais coming soon. That Puppet Game Show features a second­rate collection of cheaply crafted pieces of felt made at a kinder­ garten, coupled with an unfunny script that at times is mercifully hard to understand, as the voice artists seemed to be mumbling due to probable substance abuse.

The premise of this abhorration is that two celebrities compete against each other in a series of silly games to win 10 thousand quid for charity, and so in the first show we got Jonathan Ross and Katherine Jenkins. A couple of the tasks did bor­ der on being entertaining but that was about it. The puppet

host, Dougie Colon, seemed to be a love child crossbreed of Paddy McGuinness and Vernon Kaye, and I was just wishing for the operator’s fist to come through his felt head so that I could have a laugh.

He was so annoying that I’d

rather have seen an old edi­ tion of Double Your Money or The Sky’s the Limit with the obnoxious Hughie Green.

Besides the games, we had a useless sub­plot of what was going on behind the scenes with a totally

unsympathetic and unloveable bunch of characters that spout­ ed words that made the utterings of Fozzie Bear on The Muppets seem like Voltaire and Oscar Wilde. Fozzie’s ene­ mies, Statler and Waldorf would have had a field­day heck­ ling this awful pro­ gramme, and proba­ bly would have lost their voices doing it, as they would not have been able to get a breather!

With so many poor puppet creations to go at, my award for the worst one goes to the crab that gave us the score updates. I was dying to put him into a pan of boiling hot water, along with the BBC buffoon that commissioned this load

of high­octane rubbish. It was almost certainly the same fool that ordered I Love My Country that followed the useless puppets. May I respectfully suggest that the last word of the title of the Gabby Logan presented show doesn’t sound too dis­ similar to what most people would like to call this stupid individual for wasting license fee money on!

When Steven Berkoff made his attack on the BBC, I thought he was unfair, but at times the organisation that I love so much makes it very hard for supporters like me to offer any kind of rational defence. There is absolutely no way that the Puppet Game Show and I Love My Country should have been allowed past the pilot stage, and somebody has to stand up and explain why they have been commissioned as series. By the way, if you think these shows stink to high heaven, the latest edi­ tion of the Radio Times says that one series is so bad, that it’s gathering dust on a shelf.

It’s an ITV show fronted by Emma Willis and Alexander Armstrong called Prize Island where couples are flown to an African island to compete for prizes. I can’t wait!

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 Proof 02:10 Holiday Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Wanted Down Under 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Dish of the Day 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 Big School 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Would I Lie to You?

00:35 Murder, She Wrote 01:25 Jackpot247 01:20 Broken by Battle 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 02:20 This Is BBC Two 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 07:30 Live Athletics 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:15 Saints and Scroungers 11:30 This Morning 11:00 Hebrides: Islands on the Edge 13:30 Tipping Point 14:30 ITV News and Weather 12:00 BBC News 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 12:30 BBC World News 16:00 Secret Dealers 13:00 Wonder Man 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 14:35 Weakest Link 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Take on the Twisters 15:20 Mastermind 19:00 ITV News Meridian 15:50 The A to Z of TV Gardening 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 16:35 Live Athletics 20:30 Coronation Street 20:00 Dragons' Den 21:00 Tonight 21:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Mastermind 22:00 Doc Martin 21:30 Gardeners' World 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:00 The Burrowers: Animals 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather Underground 23:35 DOA: Dead or Alive 00:20 The Men Who Made Us Fat

BIG SCHOOL New series. Classroom comedy about a group of teachers who really should know better. David Walliams stars as uptight deputy head of chem­ istry Mr Church, who is about to resign from Greybridge School when he meets the attractive new French tutor Miss Postern. However, his chances of wooing her are threatened when lad­ dish PE instructor Mr Gunn also makes a move on their colleague ­ so he takes advice from a pupil on how to succeed with women.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 24 Hours in A&E 01:15 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 02:10 Why Don't You Speak English?

03:05 Dispatches 03:35 Food Unwrapped 04:05 Three in a Bed 05:00 Deal or No Deal 05:55 Countdown 06:35 Kirstie's Homemade Home 06:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Swimming 10:00 Frasier 10:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Undercover Boss USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:10 Please Sir! 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 Lee Mack Live 23:30 Newsnight

August 16

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Wandering Eye 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Big, Bigger, Biggest 21:00 Pistorius Trial: The Key Questions 22:00 Big Brother 23:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

31

The Courier Saturday TV

August 17

03:00 This Is BBC Two 08:30 My Life with Caroline

00:05 Pramface

09:50 Underwater!

00:40 Adulthood

11:25 Reel History of Britain

02:10 Weatherview

11:55 The Private Life of Plants

02:15 BBC News

12:45 University Challenge

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Lorraine's Fast, Fresh and Easy Food

13:15 Live Athletics 14:15 Escape to the Country 15:00 Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure

13:00 Football Focus

16:00 Wild China

13:45 Sportsday 14:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather

17:00 Urban Jungle 17:30 Final Score 18:30 Coast

14:15 Live Athletics 18:25 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:45 Pointless Celebrities 19:35 That Puppet Game Show 20:15 I Love My Country 21:00 The National Lottery: Break the Safe 21:50 Casualty 22:40 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day

00:05 Telstar: the Joe Meek Story

19:00 Flog It! 20:00 Proms Extra 2013 20:40 Dad's Army 21:10 Thatcher ­ The Downing Street Years 22:10 Top of the Lake 23:10 QI XL

01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Columbo: Short Fuse 05:20 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Jake and the Neverland Pirates 07:25 Poppy Cat 07:50 Canimals 08:10 Bookaboo 08:20 Kick Buttowski ­ Suburban Daredevil 08:35 The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

09:00 Gravity Falls 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Dinner Date 10:25 Saturday Cookbook 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 Saturday Farm 13:25 Countrywise 13:35 ITV News and Weather 13:39 ITV Meridian Weather 13:40 All Star Mr & Mrs 14:45 Smokey and the Bandit II 16:35 Midsomer Murders 18:30 ITV Meridian Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:30 You've Been Framed!

20:00 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 22:40 The Americans 23:35 ITV News and Weather 23:49 ITV Meridian Weather 23:50 State of Play

00:05 01:10 01:15 03:15 03:35 04:00 04:25 05:20 06:15 06:20 07:05 07:30 08:00 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 14:30 17:10 17:40 18:15 18:45 19:15 19:45 20:00 22:00

Rude Tube Random Acts Mr Nice New Girl The Mindy Project The Ricky Gervais Show Three in a Bed Deal or No Deal Kirstie's Homemade Home Countdown British GT Championship The Grid Swimming The Morning Line Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Channel 4 Racing V Festival Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Mission: Impossible Knight and Day

KNIGHT AND DAY Action adventure starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. A chance encounter at an airport with spy Roy Miller embroils mechanic June Havens in a frantic and life­threatening chase across the globe. But can June really trust this man of mystery, especial­ ly given his penchant for rendering her uncon­ scious when trouble rears its head?

02:00 David Starkey's Music & Monarchy

00:30 Big Brother 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Motorsport Mundial 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Megaforce 11:35 Slugterra 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:05 Big Brother 13:30 The Battle of the V1 15:30 Anzio 17:50 Columbo: Ashes to Ashes 19:35 Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt 21:05 NCIS 22:00 NCIS 22:55 5 News Weekend 23:00 Big Brother

The Courier Sunday TV

August 18

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:45 The Lost Moment 00:55 The Football League Show 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 09:35 Match of the Day 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 13:00 BBC News 13:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 13:10 Bargain Hunt 13:40 Live Athletics 17:15 Escape to the Country 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 Britain's Big Wildlife Revival 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The White Queen 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

00:00 Rabbit­Proof Fence 01:25 2 Days in Paris 03:00 This Is BBC Two

09:00 Around the World in 80 Gardens 10:00 Gardeners' World 10:30 The Beechgrove Garden 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Raymond Blanc: How to Cook Well 13:00 EastEnders 14:55 Coast 15:25 Krakatoa, East of Java 17:30 Horizon 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Live MotoGP 21:00 Dragons' Den 22:00 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip 23:00 Blackadder the Third 23:30 Frost/Nixon

02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Jake and the Neverland Pirates 07:25 Poppy Cat 07:50 Canimals 08:10 Bookaboo 08:20 Kick Buttowski ­ Suburban Daredevil 08:35 The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

09:00 Sonny with a Chance 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Country House Sunday 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Ade in Britain 13:30 Murder, She Wrote 14:30 Love Your Garden 15:30 A Touch of Frost 17:30 The Queen 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:00 Martin Clunes ­ Heavy Horsepower 22:00 Law & Order: UK 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Perspectives

THE HAIRY BIKERS Si King and Dave Myers head to Wiltshire, where they help rebuild an early traction engine before learning how it revolutionised farming. In Derbyshire, they attempt to weave their own Hairy Biker cloth on a 100­year­old cotton­spinning machine called a mule, while in Cheshire they restore a rare barge once used to transport coal on Britain's canals.

00:40 02:05 03:05 05:20 06:15 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:55 09:25 09:55 10:30 13:30 14:00 14:30 17:00 17:40 19:40 20:00 Free 21:00 22:00 23:05

V Festival Crazy about One Direction Hollyoaks Deal or No Deal Countdown The Treacle People The Hoobs Ironman 2013 Swimming Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Legend of Zorro V Festival Step Up 3 Channel 4 News Kirstie's Fill Your House for The Mill Southcliffe Dear John

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:35 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Milkshake! Monkey 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 The Mr Men Show 11:15 Power Rangers Samurai 11:50 Slugterra 12:10 Inside Hollywood 12:15 Big Brother 13:15 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 14:15 The Hotel Inspector 15:20 Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure 16:50 Bewitched 18:50 Hitch 21:00 Once Upon a Time 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Next

32

The Courier Monday TV

August 19

00:25 That Puppet Game Show 01:05 Nothing to Lose 02:40 Weatherview 02:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Fightback Britain 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

01:25 02:20 03:20 07:05

Countryfile Holby City This Is BBC Two Homes Under the Hammer

08:05 Countryside 999 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Saints and Scroungers 10:05 Restoration Home 11:05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Coast 13:10 Weakest Link 13:55 Mastermind 14:25 Angels One Five 16:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 16:45 A Taste of My Life 17:15 Journeys from the Centre of the Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 The Incredible Spice Men 22:00 Horizon 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Weather

00:15 Murder, She Wrote 01:10 The Store 03:15 British Superbike Championship Highlights 04:30 Motorsport UK 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Star Treatment 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Take on the Twisters 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 You've Been Framed!

21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The People's Medal 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Road to Referendum

01:05 V Festival 02:30 Baarìa 05:10 A Film from My Parish 05:20 Three in a Bed 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:05 Swimming 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Hollywood Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 14:35 Bullwhip 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Ade Adepitan: Journey of My Lifetime 22:00 Benefits Britain 1949 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell

BENEFITS BRITAIN 1949

Three benefits claimants give up their entitlement to council housing and agree to be reassessed and rehoused according to the rules of 1949. Single mum Nichola discovers she and her two daughters do not qualify for accommodation because she's unmarried, while Patson, who fled Zimbabwe in 2002, is allocated a job on a farm and given a voucher for a migrant workers hostel. However, institutional racism was rife during the Forties and he's turned away at the door.

00:55 Above the Law 02:45 SuperCasino 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 The Perfect Assistant 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Under the Dome 23:55 Big Brother

The Courier Tuesday TV

August 20

00:20 01:00 01:05 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:45 17:30 Mouth 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:25 23:35

Room 101 ­ Extra Storage Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Don't Get Done, Get Dom Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Perfection Escape to the Country Wanted Down Under Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless BBC News Weather The One Show EastEnders Holby City New Tricks BBC News National Lottery Update Regional News and Weather The Naked Rambler

00:20 Sins of Our Fathers 01:20 The Women's Football Show 01:50 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip 02:50 Caligula with Mary Beard 03:50 This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Countryside 999 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Saints and Scroungers 10:05 You've Been Scammed 10:35 The Fantastic Mr Feynman 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Coast 13:15 The Super League Show 13:55 Mastermind 14:25 Lucky Jim 16:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 16:45 A Taste of My Life 17:15 Journeys from the Centre of the Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 The Midwives 23:00 Family Tree 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:35 Benidorm 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Star Treatment 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Long Lost Family 18:00 Take on the Twisters 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

THE MIDWIVES New series. The return of the programme offering an insider's view of the profession in 21st­century Britain, beginning with the work of staff in the busy delivery suite of St Mary's Hospital, Manchester. Midwife Lesley is looking after Neelam, who has type 1 diabetes and needs con­ stant monitoring as her pregnancy is putting increased strain on her already fragile kidneys.

She is also taking care of Liza, who is expecting twins and hoping to deliver naturally, but the birth becomes increasingly complicated.

00:00 Random Acts 00:05 How to Get a Council House 01:05 You're Killing My Son: The Mum Who Went on the Run 02:00 Misfits 03:00 Elegy 04:50 Nashville 05:35 Three in a Bed 06:30 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:55 SuperScrimpers 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Hollywood Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 14:05 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 14:35 The Lavender Hill Mob 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 Top Boy 23:00 Rude Tube

00:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:30 Botched Up Bodies 02:20 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Artists 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 While My Pretty One Sleeps 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 NCIS 21:00 Born to Kill?

22:00 CSI: NY 23:00 9/11 Crime Scene Investigators

33

The Courier Wednesday TV

August 21

00:25 Paul O'Grady's Working Britain 01:25 Weatherview 01:30 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Rip Off Food 21:00 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Call Centre

00:20 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip 01:20 This World 02:20 Make Me a German 03:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer

08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:15 Saints and Scroungers 10:00 Rick Stein's India 11:00 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 11:30 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Weakest Link 13:45 Mastermind 14:15 Private's Progress 15:45 A Taste of My Life 16:15 Great Barrier Reef 17:15 Journeys from the Centre of the Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Restoration Home 22:00 Welcome to the World of Weight Loss 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Weather

00:20 01:10 04:00 04:40 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

In Plain Sight Jackpot247 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Star Treatment ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian ITV Meridian Weather Storage Hoarders Secret Dealers ITV Meridian Weather Long Lost Family Take on the Twisters ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Midsomer Murders ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Great Night Out

00:05 01:05 01:10 02:10 02:40 03:35 04:00 04:30 04:55 05:50 06:45 07:10 08:00 08:10 08:35 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 14:05 14:35 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:50

The Dealership Random Acts Poker KOTV Boxing Weekly Beach Volleyball The Grid British GT Championship Ironman 2013 Three in a Bed Deal or No Deal Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard The Hoobs Hugh's 3 Good Things According to Jim Will & Grace Frasier Everybody Loves Raymond The Big Bang Theory Hollywood Me Channel 4 News Summary A Place in the Sun Jamie's 15 Minute Meals Channel 4 Racing Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv How Not to Get Old 24 Hours in A&E The Last Leg I'm Spazticus

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF WEIGHT LOSS Over the course of 12 weeks, film­maker Vanessa Engle follows members of slimming clubs run by three different organisations, exploring why peo­ ple have such a complicated relationship with food and why so many struggle to stay in control.

00:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Hotel Inspector 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:15 Flirting with Danger 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Cricket: The Ashes 21:00 Nurses 22:00 The Da Vinci Code

The Courier Thursday TV

August 22

00:35 Smart People 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 Paul O'Grady's Working Britain 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Who Do You Think You Are?

00:20 01:20 02:20 03:20 07:00

Dara O Briain's Science Club Horizon Australia with Simon Reeve This Is BBC Two This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Countryside 999 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Saints and Scroungers 10:05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 11:05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Weakest Link 13:45 Mastermind 14:15 Tycoon 16:15 Great Barrier Reef 17:15 Journeys from the Centre of the Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Dara O Briain's Science Club 22:00 The Men Who Made Us Thin 23:00 Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Dales 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Columbo: Playback 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Star Treatment 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Long Lost Family 18:00 Take on the Twisters 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Married to the Job 22:00 Poaching Wars with Tom Hardy 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 The Pledge

THE IMPOSTER Drama documentary that focuses on the case of 13­year­old Nicholas Barclay, who went missing from his Texas home in 1994. Three years later a youth turned up claiming to be Barclay and was accepted by his family ­ despite speaking with a French accent and having different physical char­ acteristics to the boy.

00:20 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:25 Random Acts 01:30 Shameless USA 02:25 Kiss Them for Me 04:10 Three in a Bed 05:05 Deal or No Deal 06:00 Countdown 06:45 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:15 According to Jim 08:40 Will & Grace 09:05 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Hollywood Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 The Imposter 23:55 Random Acts

00:55 The True Story 01:50 Poker 02:45 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 CSI: Miami 16:15 Bonneville 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Cricket: The Ashes 21:00 The Truth About Travellers 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother

34

Friday, August 16, 2013

BOATS FOR SALE

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

MOORINGS Mooring for sale in Guardamar Marina, de las Dunas. 10m x 3.5m.

Pontoon B. No G5 tax.

19,995€ 965 419 085 / 636 800 371 (130)

ANIMALS

PROPERTY FOR RENT

Pet Travel UK family pet transporters Spain/UK. Travel with your pet for free.

All air conditioned vehicles (no vans) www.pettraveluk.co.uk UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 678 756 644 (131)

BOATS FOR SALE GC15: 16m Guy Couach motor cruiser, 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, kitchen, lounge/dining area, and fly­ bridge. 2 x Mercedes 350kw diesel motors. 56000 €. Call 966 923 963 or 651 885 200 A57: Rare Vintage 1957 Astondoa Classic Wooden motor launch, 10 m with Perkins diesel engine. All in working order. Needs TLC and re­varnish, great proj­ ect, 6000 €. Call 966 923 963 or 651 885 200 .

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club,

AIR CONDITIONING

friendship or marriage. Call Frankie 634 337 301 manuslaben@gmail.com

Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.

CommunityChurch@gmail.c om or contact Reverend Eddie on 966769300 or 650509606.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Busy bar/restaurant in San Javier, close to airport, sell­ ing up due to health prob­ lems. Loyal clientele, ideal location. Phone 634362820 for further information.

all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (136) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spa­ cious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata.

Close to all amenities and beach.

3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188

CARPENTER

FRIENDSHIP Handsome Norwegian Writer 46.

Educated.

Resident in apartment near Torrevieja marina. I’m look­ ing for a humoristic English / German / Scandinavian speaking woman 28­45 for

ALARMS

Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart­ ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bed­ room apartment, located near los Locos beach, beau­ tifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The proper­ ty overlooks a superb com­ munal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Brand new 2 bed, furnished/ unfurnished / apartment.

Algorfa town centre, swim­ ming pool, rent €200/225 monthly or yearly advance €2400 + plus bills . 0044­ 7949­589­539 londonan­ gels@hotmail.com (134)

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 CBR32 : 3 bed, 2 bath apart­ ment in Los Montesinos, very spacious 120 m2, fully furnished, with pool on solarium, only 300 € p/m, available from beginning September, call now on 966 923 963

CBR31 : Town centre apart­ ment in Los Montesinos, with lift, lock up storeroom on solarium, all amenities nearby, spacious 2 bed 1 bath, 250 € p/m 966 923 963 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bed­ room apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 RS110 : Immaculate detached villa for rent, 2 bedrooms & 2 bathrooms, closed carport for parking on plot, communal pool, no smokers or pets please, viewings from 4 Sept, 450 € pcm. Call 96 692 3963.

CBR27 – Ground floor apartment in closed luxury residential with beautiful communal gardens, pool, 2 beds 1 walk­in shower, redecorated this year. Only 250m walk to beach, inc.parking. 425€ pcm, call 966 923 963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Home and Contents cover ­ Comprehensive policies for house and contents with CASER Seguros ­ excellent prices for expats; policies available in. Call 966 923 963 for a quote.

Butia Espana Are you trapped. Need to sell quick.

We are the only answer for a speedy sale.UK buyers wait­ ing. www.butiaespana.com Telephone 0800 612 7514 or Spain 678 756 644 (131) Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms,

BARBER CAR HIRE

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­ prehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats,

CATERING

CLEANERS

35

Friday, August 16, 2013

2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing RS80 : Spanish style town­ house in Algorfa, totally reformed and redecorated, 110m2, 3 lrg.bedrooms, 1 bathroom, many extras, absolute bargain at 99,500 €, call now on 966 923 963 for no obligation viewing.

Ref: 510, €70,000.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the super­

markets, bars and restau­ rants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday

CAR BREAKERS

Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur­ bished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apartment in San Luis. Great sea and lake views. 55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81.

€258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Ref: 520, €80,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath­ roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi­ or furnishings are top quali­ ty, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in show­ er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and

much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom duplex located in the popu­ lar area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with dou­ ble shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apart­ ment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities includ­ ing the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

36

Friday, August 16, 2013

Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bed­ rooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium.

Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant.

Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The prop­ erty is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, com­ munal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc.

The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galle­ ria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled ter­ race. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5

minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bed­ roomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof­ top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the project­ ed 18 hole golf course.

Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, inter­ com system, fireplace, ceil­ ings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly compris­ ing of 3 bedrooms, 3 bath­ rooms, Lounge Diner, inde­ pendent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furni­ ture and appliances includ­ ed in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irri­ gation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

MAN AND A VAN

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbaniza­ tion offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 dou­ ble beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Limited edition bungalow. Only six of this type available in Gran Alacant. Constructed in 2003 and immaculately maintained on a large plot size of 500m2 with a 10 x 5 pool.Comprising of 3 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner leading out onto front porch, independ­ ent kitchen including white goods, outside galleria, court yard, large garage with electric door, roof top solari­ um and private parking. Also built in wardrobes, Toldos blinds, air con H/C, security grills, alarm, security doors, bathrooms heaters, outside toilet, outdoor lighting, irriga­ tion system, attractive and well kept gardens, beautiful­ ly tiled inside and out, fire place, English TV, phone line. Being sold with top quality furniture. ref L95. €275,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house

Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbaniza­ tion offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 dou­ ble beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge­Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park.

Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant beautiful detached villa with very large pool and within walk­ ing distance to the Gran Alacant Commercial Centre.

This villa comprised of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner, Independent kitchen, roof top storage, solarium, porch & terrace.

Large private pool, BBQ area, established gardens

PETS

and private terraces, Private Parking, Solarium with Views to Alicante. 450m2 plot, fully furnished including white goods. Located in very quiet desirable road. ref.L96. €255,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very pri­ vate and un­overlooked.

Comprising of 2 large bed­ rooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well main­ tained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor work­ shop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Rare invest­ ment!! corner south facing opportunity on Novamar urbanisation.This immacu­ late ground floor duplex has been kept and maintained to a very high standard inside and out the position is fan­ tastic, enjoys views over the lovely oasis communal pool, surrounded by lawned gar­ dens. Comprising of plot size 100m2 Build Size 90m2, 2 bedrooms, 2 bath­ rooms, fully furnished, Anti­ Glare Windows, Security Door, Security Grills, Built­in Wardrobes, Extra Storage, Galleria, Electric Panel Heaters, Heated Towel Rails, Air Con (h&c), Ceiling.

PERSONAL

Fans. Thermo Shower, Vanity Units and decorative­ ly tiled throughout, exquisite garden, Underground pri­ vate parking.

Ref.K10 €139,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local ameni­ ties such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach.

Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof­top solari­ um. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large deco­ rative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet loca­ tion in Gran Alacant.

Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes every­ thing. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Gran Alacant detached villa with converted under build and pool. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge­ Diner, Front Porch, Large Solarium, decorative­ ly tiled, Irrigated Garden.

BBQ and Log Storage Cupboard. Raised walls for Privacy. Also many extras, toldos blinds, freshly deco­ rated interior, Grills, Mosquito Nets, Air Con H/C, Ceiling Fans, Log Burner Fire, Electric Radiators, Heated Towel Rails, Alarmed, Phone Line, Satellite UK TV, private parking. Plot size 310m2 under build 100m2. price includes all furniture.The under build consists of 2 beds, lounge, kit/utility room. ref L79. €250,000 Tel.

POOL TABLES

DAMP PROOFING

PLUMBERS

DRAINAGE

POOLS

37

Friday, August 16, 2013 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bed­ rooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceil­ ing fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk­in shower, fitted wardrobes.

Decorative tiling inside and out.

Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, estab­ lished gardens, water fea­ tures and fruit trees. Being

sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods.

Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44

SURVEYOR

STORAGE

€108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic

communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantas­ tic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever con­ structed­ Very large 5 bed­ rooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­ suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys­ tem and fruit trees. Being

RAG AND BONE REMOVALS

VAN HIRE

WARDROBES

sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low mainte­ nance very private gardens with irrigation system, elec­ tronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section.

Within easy walking dis­ tance to Gran Alacant com­ mercial centre and close to local bus and tram route.

Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gar­ dens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property

enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

REMOVALS Move It Now Small removals and deliveries.

Spain/UK Budget prices.

Last minute jobs undertak­ en. www.moveitnow.co.uk Telephone UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 678 756 644 (131)

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

38

Friday, August 16, 2013

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

GOLF TEACHERS MUST SET A COURTEOUS EXAMPLE I KNOW I went down this path last week but etiquette is an integral part of the lovely game of golf, so I make no apologies for returning to this important subject! The golf teaching professional should teach and set an example of the proper etiquette on the golf course. In the Royal & Ancient Golf Club of Saint Andrews rulebook, the section on etiquette is only a few pages. But, conduct on the golf course is much more than just two pages in a rulebook.

Golf instructors, should never assume that a stu­ dent already knows the proper etiquette on the golf course. Often, simple etiquette issues like pace of play, where to stand, or how to repair a pitch mark or rake a bunker are often overlooked. The professional should know and play by the rules, and they will fre­ quently be asked to answer a rules question. The key is to have knowledge of how to use the rule­ book. It is not necessary to memorise all of the Rules of Golf, but the golf instructor should be able to navigate and find answers in the rulebook, as well as encouraging or more importantly insisting that students follow the rules and etiquette. In the last few years, it would appear that there has been a lowering of standard in regard to that crucial area.

For example, for many golfers “winter rules” or “pre­ ferred lies” are becoming more common even here in Spain.

The pace of play has also become considerably slower. There are many factors that contribute to this such as long courses built with great distance between greens and tees; slow golfers; too many peo­ ple on the course, etc. As a golf instructor, they should be a role model and can influence golfers’ pace of play habits. If they set the standard for students, then they will take notice and emulate. Golf Instructors/teachers, should teach the rules, etiquette, and tradition. A 9 hole playing les­ son to include those vital things should be mandatory, and that should include the way they arrive at the course and how they conduct themselves on it as well as in the club­ house. This shows that they are a true professional who conducts themselves as such.

The rules, etiquette, and tradition are what make’s golf such a great game.

WHY DO SPANISH GOLF BOSSES DRAG THEIR FEET OVER RUNNING THE SPORT? The Real Federacion Espanola de Golf (EFEG) has 19 federations under their control and run the rule over the handicaps of those members who hold a federation card.

The big problem lies in the fact that unless your Golf Society is a member and licensed to use the EGA handicap system, then the only time that you handicap will change will be if you enter and play in a RFEG official competition.

Now we all know from when we played in the UK, your local club and the secretary administered you handicap from organized competitions to general play through CONGU system and the English Golf Union. Only single handicap players are controlled outside the club and then with the area Union of Golf Clubs.

But here it seems to be all over the place! It has been

TITTER ON THE TEE A Scot and an American were talking about playing golf during the various seasons of the year. "In most parts of the USA we cannot play in the winter time. We have to wait until spring," the American said.

"Why, in Scotland we can even play in the winter time.

Snow and cold is no problem to us," said the Scot.

"Well, what do you do; paint your balls black?" asked the American.

"No", said the Scot "we just put on an extra sweater or two."

1. Part III of the CONGU Scheme 1983, amended edi­ tion 1997.

2. The Course and Slope Rating System of the United States Golf Association.

3. The Stableford System to achieve Stroke Control.

mentioned that membership of the RFEG has dropped and this could be for many reasons, like expat players returning to their respective home countries, but my theory is that there are fewer renewals and new applications, simply because they get nothing in return and it’s cheaper to pay the insurance fee every time they play.

But it goes deeper than that. The RFEG is a national member of the European Golf Association (EGA) and yet they fail to follow the rules as provided by the EGA especially in regard to handicapping. So, who are the EGA? At the EGA’s AGM IN 1994, the National Associations, who were members of the EGA, decided unanimously that the EGA should have its own Handicapping Committee. The next year, the Executive Committee set up the EGA handicapping and Course Rating Committee (H&CRC). The main task of this committee was to establish, maintain and regulate an EGA handicap System that all EGA members could use in the future.

The EGA Handicap System is based on three well­known cornerstones:­

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION Two players started a Medal round from the 10th Tee, erro­ neously recording their scores in the boxes for the front nine and vice versa. Should they be disqualified even though the scores were correct?

ANSWER Yes, since the scores recorded for some holes would be lower than those actually taken.

It took several years of consultation with the National Associations to gather all the necessary information, but finally the EGA handicap System was introduced on 1st January 2000. The aim was to produce a fair playing handicap that is adjusted to the relative difficulty of the course being played and to achieve equity and uniformity of handicapping throughout Europe. But in 2008, the RFEG decided, without any reference to the EGA, to change the Slope System here. That effec­ tively meant that they isolated themselves and they added different reduction cat­ egories. This in fact expired 3 years ago, but it is still on their website.

In January this year, a new edition of the EGA Handicapping System was introduced which was to go through to 2015, but did the RFEG follow suit? NO! When I asked them why not, I was told that they are finishing a new IT structure for handicapping, and expect to launch the new IT and all the new changes of the EGA Handicap System for January 1st 2013. They admit to still using CSA (ASC in Spanish lan­ guage), and say the change to the new system will be announced in due time.

There are many Golf Societies that use the new EGA sys­ tem to control their handicaps, even using software that has been upgraded. So why is it taking the RFEG so long?

One of the changes the EGA made was to introduce the Computer Buffer Analysis (CBA) but the RFEG still use the old CSA which is similar to the CONGU Competition Scratch Score (CSS) which now brings me back to the use of the Handicap System. It was confusing to say the least when trying to establish when the CBA or CSA should be used. On one part it states that it should be used to calculate buffer zones in a player’s handicap category in all qualifying com­ petitions, but in another section it says:­ “Sometimes a round of golf is played under conditions which are not “normal” relative to the rating of the course, e.g. extreme weather or very difficult course set­up, but with­ in the EGA Handicap System, such a round can still be used for handicapping purposes, provided all other handicap con­ ditions for a qualifying round are met. However, when condi­ tions are “abnormal” to the extent that it would be unfair to let the result affect a player’s handicap. An allowance should be made to compensate. Within the EGA Handicap System, this allowance is referred to as Computed Buffer Adjustment (CBA). Account for weather and course conditions that vary significantly from normal” Confused? Me too!

39

Friday, August 16, 2013

SUAREZ-THE-SNAKE SAGA SLITHERS ON

IN yet another swerve in the sick sequels of the Suarez story, some sources say the saddo is staying at Liverpool, for now, perhaps into next season – when his latest ban expires, no doubt.

Could it be that with no ‘Real’ offers on the table ­ fat, juicy, euroey ones perhaps ­ that Suarez may just be realising he currently carries too much baggage – even for Arsenal, per­ haps, who significantly haven’t come back in for him. But wait, no, the latest rumours are that he’s denied he said he’ll stay: sickening, isn’t it?

I didn’t want to be right last season when I con­ demned those who were calling for the Uruguayan to be named Footballer of the Year. I really hoped for football’s sake he would get the necessary mes­ sage, change, and literally ‘play the game’ on the field. But he didn’t, he bit Chelsea’s Ivanovich, and since then the snarling, diving, stamping, bit­ ing, throat­grabbing, racist cheat has now upped his ‘game’ off the field, also with new dishonourable tactics. In doing so

SCOTLAND THE BRAVE! England beat their auld enemy Scotland in a 3 – 2 thriller at Wembley, but not before a titanic battle which saw the Scots go ahead twice through Morrison and Miller, only to be pulled back each time, firstly by Walcott then by man­of­the­ match Danny Welbeck. The Scots grit and passion had their massed supporters roaring, but the sheer class of England defeated brave Celtic hearts in the end, and in a dream debut England substitute Ricky Lambert powered home his header with his first touch to score the England winner in the 70th minute. You have to feel sorry for Bonnie Scotland, they gave everything, but it wasn’t enough in the end as England’s class and strength in depth told, as the starting line­up, and then the substitutes, showed great English potential for next year in Brazil.

CARRASCO ON THE MARK FC Torrevieja won their first pre­season friendly on Wednesday night as they beat Cox, 1­nil, at the Nelson Mandela Stadium. Carrasco scored after just 6 minutes, helped by a blunder from the Cox keeper. Torrevieja dominat­ ed the game, carving out a number of chances which they failed to capitalise on. 36 year old Carrasco was also on tar­ get, this time from the penalty spot, in last Saturday’s 1­all draw at Almoradi, in an entertaining match. Torrevieja’s final friendly is tomorrow night (Saturday) away to Thader with a 7pm kick off.

the untrustworthy Uruguayan has metaphorically bitten the Liverpudlian hand that has fed him so well, turning on those who have stood by him when others – like me – pointed the accusing finger. Suarez seems to think he is above everyone and everything else in the beautiful game, alienating himself to the great club of Liverpool by twisting their contracted words: that he was ‘promised’ a get­away clause.

By taking this action Suarez obviously – and stupidly ­ does not realise how much he has crossed the loyalty line of Liverpool’s world­wide fans, and dangerously test­ ed their already­over­ stretched patience. Last month some 95,000 fanati­ cal exiled Scousers and true fans crammed into Melbourne’s stadium in Australia to see their team, about as far from Merseyside as you can physically get, to moist­eyedly belt out ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’; a true measure of the esteem and following this great football club has all over the world.

FC Torrevieja’s lush new looking Vicente Garcia Stadium pitch means that the go­ahead has been given for their pre­ mium friendly against La Liga new boys, Elche.

The match will be on Friday September 6th, as part of a new co­oper­ ation agreement between the clubs.

Torrevieja return to their home for their opening league match against La Nucia on Sunday 25th August.

Meanwhile, the club have gone to Central America for their latest signing, 25­year­old cen­ tral defender Alexis Egea Acame, known as "Alexis", who comes from Altamira FC in the Mexican the 1st Division. He used to play for Elche Illicitano and Torrellano.

NOW IT’S FOR RAYO

Elche’s final friendly before their return to La Liga this coming Monday was a fairly non­descript affair last weekend. They beat Real Murcia 1­nil at San Pedro del Pinatar with a 54th minute Coro penalty in a match that once again featured multiple substitu­ tions.

The real business is on

Monday night with Elche starting their campaign back in the top flight away to Rayo Vallecano with an 8.00pm kick off.

The champions Barcelona start their defence on Sunday evening at home to Levante, whilst rivals Real Madrid entertain Real Betis.

Suarez came on and played the last twenty minutes as sub­ stitute: that brief performance might turn out to be his last…

I am no Arsenal supporter, but am amazed that someone as experienced as Arsene Wenger could be so blind as to want to buy the clearly­troubled Suarez. Why would Wenger imagine he could succeed in taming Suarez to somehow toe the footballing line, where a good, sound, supportive manag­ er like Brendan Rodgers – and others before him ­ have clearly failed? Gooners are loyal too, and love class goal scorers: the ghosts of Henry, Bergkamp and Ian Wright­ Wright hover above the Emirates – would those fans take to the Suarez brand of cheating, where the South American must win at all – and I mean all – costs?. The Uruguayan is in Japan this week with his national team, but is giving inter­ views and hints to anyone who’ll listen that he may be stay­ ing. Club captain and true Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard seems certain Suarez will not go to a competitor and obvi­ ously want him to stay.

At Anfield, Suarez now trains alone, ostracised from his team mates for club indiscipline – ‘total disrespect ‘ big Brendan called it, for exploring and trying to exploit loop­ holes in his contract. The fanzine ‘Liverpool Wrap’ demands an apology from Suarez (unlikely) for his ‘selfish’ behaviour.

Others say they want him to go, and would be much more upset if the new Brazilian wonder boy Philippe Coutinho were to leave. Replacements are already in place for Suarez, so why don’t Liverpool get real and get rid of a gifted footballer, but who is clearly not a loyal lasting Liverpool leg­ end and is rapidly making this great club a laughing stock as each day passes…

TORRY-ELCHE IS ON

Monte’s new leader for battle CD MONTESINOS have a new President in Howard Yeats following Eddie Cagigao stepping down ­ due to work commitments.

"Ed had to step down due to pres­ sure of work," said newly elected CD Montesinos President Yeats. Ex­ Torrevieja FC member Cagigao was inspirational for CD Montesinos helping to set up The Full Monte supporters club ­ which sees regular crowds of 200 in attendance on match day. And Yeats, elected to take charge of the 2nd Regional Division club for the 2013­14 season, said: "On behalf of everyone I would like to thank Ed." CD Montesinos' supporters club ­ The Full Monte are looking ahead to the 2013/14

campaign and manager Juanpe has been busy in pre­season bringing in new players.

Central defender David Fernandez Sanchez, formerly with CD Horadada and Todo Deporte; ex­Torrevieja CF central midfielder Marcos Saez Tortosa ­ known as Marcos ­ and former Almoradi B central midfielder Daniel Orouker have signed.

Based at the Campo Municipal de Los Montesinos, the club narrowly finished outside the promotion places last season. "We hope to go one better this term. For that to hap­ pen we need as much support as possible," added Yeats.

The team has their first pre­season friend­ ly tomorrow evening (Saturday) at home to Dolores with kick­off at 7.30pm.

Friday, August 16, 2013

40

BRING IT ON! At last, the Premiership kicks off this weekend!

We used to call it ‘ABC’ in the forces – meaning ‘All Been Changed!’ ­ and as far as the big three in the prestigious Premiership, not one, not two but all three have unbelievably recently changed their managers ­ and so now there is huge excite­ ment and added expectations in both Manchester camps and in West London.

Champions Manchester United still look mightily efficient, supplemented by new signing Wilfred Zaha. Can new manager David Moyes harmonise Wayne Rooney’s England’s efforts for the common good?

Are United weak in midfield, where United failed to attract Cesc Fabregas to Old Trafford?

No such problems across the City at the Etihad, where new manager Manuel Pelligrini takes charge of an exciting new team: four new midfielders and strikers have cost over £90 million to supplement established stars like David Silva, Sergio Aguerro and Edin Dzecko. Great things are expected of City after winning the title two years ago and coming sec­ ond to United last year.

(Psst…Merseysiders: hate to call ‘em both also­rans,

John McGregor reports

but as we neutrals know, top six and Europe must be their joint goals. Summary: Reds re­building, Blues new­managing…)

Chelsea? That man’s back again ­ you know, the Real Madrid reject that bought them two league titles and glory a few years back with Roman’s roubles. Jose Mourinho, surprisingly, hasn’t spent too much mazoomah ­ yet. Question time: 1. Is Mou still hoping to blow the bank on wayward Wayne? 2. Post­ Madrid, is it Really a Bridge too far this time?

Keeping it capital, Tottenham have seemingly kept the Baled Crown Jewels at the Lane (Spanish foot­ ball bible Marca says they haven’t!), but bought boldly in midfield and upfront to the tune of £50 mil­ lion. Ambitious? Oh, yes, and arch­rivals Arsenal haven’t yet splashed their cash, surely they’re not still holding out for sicko Suarez? In the East End, West Ham have just bought Liverpool’s Stewart Downing, presumably to supply accident­prone Andy Carroll? Newbies Crystal Palace possess past Prem passion with Ian Holloway, but can they cope?

Can’t get excited about Fulham, survival must be their quest.

Dahn on the sarf coast Southampton are now look­ ing to build with Argentinian manager Pochettino – muchas preguntas! Over in Swales, boyo, it’s all excitement, as newbies Cardiff have bought new for­

eign blood and expectations in the valleys are high ­ no doubt due to their noble neighbours nearby, Swansea, who have shown everyone ‘how to do it’ with style since arriving in the Prem.

Midlanders West Brom have curiously bought the itinerant traveller Nicholas Anelka, will he score the necessary goals now lively Lukaka’s gone back to Chelsea? Wither Villa? Paul Lambert worked mira­ cles last year, can he build on that? Just up the M6 Mark Hughes’ arrival in the Potteries has been greet­ ed with understandable scepticism ­ and rightly so after his debacle at QPR. Continue over to Anglia where Holt­less Norwich have replaced the big strik­ er with the wonderfully­named Ricky van Wolfswinkel (honest!). Carry on up the east coast and you come to Steve Bruce’s Hull: you’ve got to call ‘em the Tigers now – grrr ­ but will they bite?

Keeping going ‘oop north to Geordieland, where the two major clubs are at the crossroads. The circus is in town at St James Park, where no­one knows who’s the ringleader, whereas nearby at The Stadium of Light is shining, the Italian Job’s got potty Paolo Di Canio appointing two more of his countrymen to ride shotgun. A massive in­and­out close season which promises a lively start for the Black Cats!

Hold on to your hats everyone – it’s gonna be a roller­coaster this season!