The Courier Week 4

Edition 4

www.thecourier.es

Friday, 18th March 2011

SAVE OUR SIESTA!

Afternoon snooze may soon be gone as Spain gets a wake up call Dave Bull SPAIN is attempting to save its sacred siesta to the list of protected Spanish cultural icons after an application was presented to Madrid authorities calling for the 'siesta' to be given a special cultural status to ensure its preservation.

The siesta’ – often moaned about by expats when we first arrive and find things difficult to adjust to, is important to many Spaniards, young and old, still and now a lawyer is on the case…so to speak.

Daniel Dorado, a lawyer who also campaigns for the protection of animals,

(so he’s not a bad chap then) filed an application last week arguing that the siesta fulfils the same criteria for protected cultural patrimony as that other icon of Spanish culture, bullfighting. He argued that the siesta - traditionally an after lunch snooze of up to a couple of hours or more, my neighbour get a

good three hours and then stays up all night with the TV on full volume… bless) - was being threatened by the changes in modern working practices – like working all day.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

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A lone supporter looks on forlornly as Elche get beaten at Albacete 6th March 2011 - Foto 23

Continued from page 1 He went on to claim the siesta was an ‘art form’ and that its loss could bring about the demise of the country. This is where he’s starting to lose my support, sleeping an art form? If that’s the case my son is a hell of a lot more artistic than I thought.

Anyway, he insisted that the Spanish practice of sleeping in the afternoon should be declared a protected art form, adding "The siesta is a cultural fact of special relevance and significance, an art which deserves protection…and it has been part of Mediterranean and Spanish culture for time immemorial," he said using the argument put forward to justify the inclusion of bullfighting on the list.

In a swipe at the ridiculous law which protects the culture of bullfighting above the prevention of cruelty to animals he joked that Madrid was under obligation to preserve the siesta and should consider

installing beds in the street.

The ‘Save our Siesta’ campaign has recently got a voice after the announcement earlier this month by Esperanza Aguirre, the President of the conservative regional government in Madrid, declaring that the bullfight would be included on the list of items of "special cultural value" that were protected by law.

‘siesta is an art form’ Although one of Spain's most prominent conservative politicians, Esperanza Aguirre has called on UNESCO to offer bullfighting protection – the same as that given to sites and attractions such as the Terracotta Warriors in China, which seems to justify the argument (if there is one) to bring back Christians v Lions and bear-baiting and the like.

It looks as if all this has handily provided an opportunity for, Mrs Aguirre, to

portray herself as a champion of tradition; "Bullfighting was a source of inspiration for Goya, Picasso, Garcia Lorca, Hemingway and Orson Welles," said Mrs Aguirre, who it’s rumoured holds ambitions to lead the Popular Party. She went on to say that bull fighting was an art that had been in Spanish culture for as long as can be remembered, repeating the call to UNESCO to declare bullfighting part of the world's cultural heritage.

With Bullfighting losing popularity for many years in Barcelona and the northeastern region of Catalonia, the Corrida still has a big following in other parts of Spain, and big festivals each year in Seville, Madrid and Pamplona are packed, however, while the leading matadors are treated as celebrities and major newspapers carry (a decreasing amount) pages reporting the day's events, bullfighting's popularity is now dwarfed by that of other activities such as soccer and has been on the slide for the past twenty five years. Good.

SPAINISH INFLATION HIGHEST FOR TWO YEARS Spain’s inflation climbed to the highest level recorded since October 2008, the National Statistics Institute has said, booming fuel prices helped to push Spain's annual inflation rate to a two-year high of 3.4 per cent in February, official data showed last Friday.

Add to that the political upheaval in North Africa and the Middle East which has sent oil soaring to levels last seen in mid-2008 with prices climbing well above $100 a barrel in the London and New York markets.

After the Spanish economy slumped into recession during the second half of 2008 the global financial meltdown compounded the collapse of the oncebooming property market and prices were pushed up by surging fuel prices and the rising costs of tobacco, alcoholic drinks, and housing.

Overall the economy shrank 0.1 per cent in 2010 and the unemployment rate ended the year at 20.33 per cent, the highest level in the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD).

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Dave Bull (English/Spanish) ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 606 540 408 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 616 596 647 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 628 379 126 Vanessa Gran Alacant, La Marina, Guardamar Tel. 648 012 926 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 697 241 753 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 635 829 012 Writers Dave Bull Malcolm Palmer Mick Hardy Spike Paul Payne Sally Bengtsson Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Dan Smith Photographer Mark Welton

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DOH! A would-be thief's attempt to rob a suburban New York bank was thwarted when the teller refused his demand for money.

"He slipped a note through the teller's slot that said 'money in bag,'" said police Captain Joseph Schaller said. "She refused and with that, she activated the alarm. He turned away from the window and ran out the door.

Monday Partial sunshine High Temperature: 15°C RealFeel: 14°C

Today Bright sunshine High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 22°C

Saturday Bright sunshine High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 19°C

Sunday Partial sunshine High Temperature: 16°C RealFeel: 16°C

Tuesday Couple of showers High Temperature: 13°C RealFeel: 9°C

Wednesday Couple of showers High Temperature: 13°C RealFeel: 9°C

Thursday Windy & rain High Temperature: 14°C RealFeel: 11°C

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

CLIMB ABOARD!

Dispute at Alicante Airport for Europe’s ‘sexiest airline’

The beauties of budget airline, Ryanair, have been voted the sexiest air stewards in Europe in a poll run by a German magazine. In the poll the Ryanair girls, whose charity calendar has been driving male passengers wild, came out on top beating Virgin and Aer Lingus into second and third places respectively.

Passengers may face a walk at Alicante

However, I don’t know about you but I don’t know what route these girls are flying on as the ones that I usually meet are more likely to chuck a sandwich at you before selling you another watch.

On another matter Ryanair chief, Michael O’Leary has threatened to reduce the number of flights into and out of Alicante's El Altet airport because of a dispute with AENA over problems with passenger boarding bridges at the new terminal. At a press conference last week O’Leary said that there is a ‘situation of dispute’ with AENA and added that the airline's service was likely to be reduced if an agreement could not be reached.

Apparently the new terminal doesn’t provide direct access for passengers to board the planes, meaning that airlines will have to meet the cost of installing passenger boarding bridges themselves and Ryanair say that if that happens, they will have no option but to put their ticket prices up.

At present the budget airline runs 57 routes out of Alicante in the summer, but O’Leary has warned that that number may be reduced in October if no agreement is reached with AENA. They must like a row at the Irish airline as Ryanair are also in dispute with AENA over the new computer system at Gran Canaria airport and there is the on-going row at Valencia…

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

SAYS JAPAN

PRICKLY PEER? Highest earners to be hit hardest by Hutton public sector pension review

By Tony Mayes

It’s got to be said that last Friday morning we saw some of the most incredible footage of the disasters in Japan unfolding. The chill that ran down my spine as the TV cameras showed that wave on its way to Japan’s coast was horrible. But what stands out most for me was the next day, they were back at work – or what was left of it – and not feeling sorry for themselves, they just got on with it. A lesson for us all?

NO SLEEP TODAY? Can someone tell me please how exactly they are going to ban the ‘siesta’? If Jose wants to shut his shop at two o’clock and go home for a nap what’s to stop him? Public pressure?

Market forces? Customer demand? This is Spain, no chance…good

THE IRISH

NO-ONE welcomes a reduction in pay, conditions or pensions and its little surprise that Lord Hutton's pension review for public sector workers has gone down like a lead balloon.

They have been told they will have to work for longer, from 60 to 65 before they can collect their pensions, will have to pay more money into pension schemes and will probably receive less than they were expecting - that's because instead of final salary schemes, in future they would be based on average salaries. Those who have climbed up the career ladder would be hit the hardest if Lord Hutton's proposals are accepted.

Ironically Lord Hutton is a Labour peer, recruited by this government in a shrewd move making it that bit more difficult for Labour to criticise the proposals.

Behind Hutton's thinking is the fact that people are living longer and the public purse simply cannot afford to pay the spiralling cost of

Lord Hutton has angered public sector workers public sector pensions.

In my book his ideas should have come a decade ago. Long has it been a fact that people who work for town halls, government, health service, police, et al, have enjoyed a job for life, with inflation-proof pensions and could retire much earlier than their counterparts in the private sector.

This all smacks of total unfairness. Public sector

unions have always argued that their members have had to suffer poorer pay than in the private sector, and to compensate, they have been allowed to retire earlier on better pensions.

It's far from clear that this has actually been the case, and certainly is wrong now, with people working for private firms not having had pay rises for years and who have been moved from final

Why oh why did I go drinking with Irish people…?

My head still hurts…

Police are not happy

salary schemes to money purchase contracts, offering far less in pensions.

It surprises me not one bit that unions are threatening strikes. But the important thing in all this is that the government must ensure there is fairness between the private and public sectors.

If it can clearly be demonstrated that there was fairness then it would be easier to fight the unions in the event of a showdown. And if there is a showdown then for the first time the public must demonstrate that it has no sympathy with a public sector trying to get something more than the rest simply through the strength of industrial muscle.

Perhaps an all-out strike may demonstrate that there are public sector jobs we can do without. A showdown might pinpoint many unnecessary jobs and save Britain a packet.

TOP TEN RICHEST CITIES 1 Frankfurt

6 Stuttgart

Frankfurt is the largest city in the German state of Hesse and the fifth-largest city in Germany. € per capita: 74,465

Stuttgart is the capital of the state of Baden-Württemberg in southern Germany. € per capita: 53,570

7 Brussels

2 Karlsruhe

Frankfurt

Brussels is the capital city of the European Union (EU) and the largest urban area in Belgium. € per capita: 51,106

Karlsruhe is a city in the south west of Germany, in the Bundesland BadenWürttemberg, located near the French-German border. € per capita: 70,097

3 Paris Paris is the capital of France and the country's largest city. € per capita: 67,200

4 Munich Munich is the capital city of Bavaria, Germany. Munich is located on the River Isar north of the Bavarian Alps. €

8 Copenhagen Paris per capita: 61,360

5 Düsseldorf Düsseldorf is the capital city of the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia. It is an economic center of Germany. € per capita: 54,053

Copenhagen is the capital and largest city of Denmark. € per capita: 50,775

9 Hanover Hanover is the capital of the federal state of Lower Saxony Germany. € per capita: 47,223

10 Hamburg Hamburg is the second-

largest city in Germany (after Berlin). € per capita: 43,098ten rich

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

NOW THEN…LISTEN TO ME LETTERS FROM BLIGHTY

By Tony Brennan (Sponsored by Marlboro, Heineken and Pedigree Chum…)

‘as you sit on your terrace reading this article a warm feeling of the innate British sense of class and snobbery still burns brightly…’

From the gloom of an inglorious British winter on the horizon of spring, I am beside myself, as is the rest of the nation with the prospect of a wedding, you know the one, nice old German family, live in that big house in London, you know, Grandad the Greek bloke, yes, that’s them.

I do not know at this moment whether the marriage has any chance of success because the bride apparently is common! she looks a fine girl to me. But the big thing is that even royal spokespeople describe her as a commoner. As you sit on your terrace reading this article a warm feeling of the inate British sense of class and snobbery still burns brightly. My big worries for the day are the bride’s parents.

Will they upstage the finery of the British elite in the outfit bought on the never never of the mail order catalogue, or will they wear for the day, unpick a seam and send back as faulty goods in the finest traditions of Lily Savage.

The best man resplendent in the SS uniform brought out for special family occasions getting outrageously drunk on lambrini asking the question of any polite enough to listen do they know who is my dad!. Before falling asleep in a vacant corgi kennel.

Be of good cheer because a bank holiday has been created, I myself will not be watching the days events on TV, I shall be in Spain hoping that my TV provider has technical problems on that particular day instead of the usual Saturday and Sunday problems.

Sitting quietly I shall write a letter to Maggie’s lovechild and ask the question can we have a bank holiday for a true British hero called Nelson. We could call it Trafalgar day, perhaps not, cos he was dead common wasn’t he…

Nelson - took on the Armada with one hand behind his back..

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

DO YOU REMEMBER…?

13.

By Alan Gilchrist Costa Blanca’s Top Hypnotherapist

After the last article was published I was inundated with more trivia about the past. Keep them coming by contacting me on trivia@alangilchrist.com.

Everyone loves remembering trivia about the past so I thought I would devise an on-going quiz that (almost) everyone can join in.

For the younger ones / those young at heart just say the words to your partners or parents and watch their faces light up. Then just sit back and listen to their stories about what it meant to them!

Count all the ones that you remember- not the ones you were told about by your parents!

Mini Automatic cars Gillette Safety Razors Crimplene Peggy Mount – the battle axe!

5. MG midget cars 6. Vesta beef curries and noodles 7. Potter’s wheel – interlude on TV 8. Danger man & Danger mouse 9. Camel Cigarettes 10. James Bonds Aston Martin DB5 11. Space dust bonbons 12. The Sunday Roast

Duty Free ( TV Programme ) 14. The first TV or Radio Set 15. Flower Power 16. Tiny Tim and “Tip Toe through the Tulips.

17. Lenny the Lion 18. Helping mother bake buns and cakes 19. The first Chinese meal 20. When they realised there was no Santa Claus

21. Always going to sleep with the light on.

22. No self-service shops.

23. When £3.00 bought a whole weeks shopping 24. Standard Vanguard car 25. Tommy Steel 26. Drainpipe trousers 27. Mario Lanza 28. The local record shop and LP's 33 1/3 , 45 and 78 29. Leather School bags

30. Super Car TV series 31. Vauxhall Cresta 32. Brown and Polson

Cards with Bubble Gum. 43. Ford Popular car 44. The broken biscuits tin 45. Using shelves as room dividers 46. Phil Silvers 47. Making paper aeroplanes 48. Indoor Fireworks 49. Action Man 50. White Tide soap powder with Hughie Green 51. Seeing the first Skoda Car 52. Captain Pugwash 53. What’s my Line ( radio programme) 54. Let’s twist again like we did last ….......

55. Tupperware parties 56. Harvey’s Bristol Cream 57. Playing Tig or Tag 58.

Ivanhoe with Roger Moore 59. Ford Capri’s 60. You first real holiday or pony ride

Custard 33. Butlins Holidays

If you remembered 0-10 = you’re still young If you remembered 10-25 = you are getting older If you remembered 25-40= don’t tell your age If you remembered 40 - 60 = you’re older than everyone!

1.

2.

3.

4.

Hancock's Half Hour Brasso “Go to work on an egg” Spirograph Wide Flares and Jason King lookalikes 39. The music from the Fry’s Turkish delight advertisement 40. Double Diamond 41. Have Gun will Travel 42.

Collecting Football 34.

35.

36.

37.

38.

If anyone wants to send in their suggestions, send them to me at trivia@alangilchrist.com

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

WILL SOMEONE RID ME OF THESE TROUBLESOME PESTS? Lycra has amazing aerodynamic qualities...

The brightly coloured little gits appear as soon as the weather warms up to ruin your day out. They swarm around you with their glassy eyes looking at you, no leering at you, and act as if they own the bloody earth.

To be honest the more of them there is, the more annoying they are. What am I talking about? Bloody cyclists that’s what. No sooner has the temperature risen above what equates for ‘bloody freezing’ out here you’ll find them. Blocking the road.

It wouldn’t be so bad if they came out in ones or twos, but no…this is Spain they need to cycle around the one-carwidth country roads in groups like Chinese commuters. And then, not satisfied with blocking the road and forcing you to go so slow that your cigarette smoke overtakes you they’ll have a little chat amongst themselves. Blowing the horn doesn’t work (I watched an ambulance struggling to get past a group of cyclists one day) and running them over just means a lot of paperwork. So instead of driving through the countryside and admiring the far reaching views you end up staring at Jose the fat accountant’s sweaty backside for hour after hour.

That wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t feel the need to wear ‘all the gear.’ While Lance Armstrong might look good belting along the French roads; his toned muscles glistening with sweat as he pedals faster than my mum has ever driven, Jose, the chunky bean counter, does not. Obviously Lycra is meant to aid aerodynamics and that is fine on old Lance but if he had to ride around with the equivalent of a sack of potatoes up his shirt all the aerodynamics technology in the world is not going to help. Put a Hippo in Lycra and sit him

FORECAST IS GOOD As I sit and write in a local café, inevitably the TV is on – loud, and as is popular in Spain there are about 150 adverts during the commercial break.

potato smugglers My point is – and I’m getting there ladies – is that one particular ad offers (I have no idea what they are called in English) pants for the ‘larger’ lady that basically pull everything inwards (if it’s all squashed up how do you have a drink?) and once concealed under the outer clothes, gives the appearance of a much slimmer figure. What I want to know is this: if they work, and you are out on the pull one night (I’m not suggesting that all wearers behave this way…) isn’t it a bit of a shock for the lucky fella? I mean at the end of the night you slip back to his place for a coffee, get comfy, get intimate,

and when he wakes up in the morning you look like you’ve eaten the pillows, and the dog…?

While I was in the bar I started watching the dreaded TV when on came the Spanish weather forecast. I was now sat with a Spanish friend (Jose, surprise, surprise…) when he launched into a (very) foulmouthed tirade about Spanish weather forecasters and how they always get it wrong. He has a point. The Spanish weather forecasts are not the best in the world and with the guy (or girl) standing in front of half of Spain, blocking it off to half the population, they don’t really help themselves.

‘Look at it!’ he shouted above the TV, the stereo, the clientele, and the other telly, ‘they always say that every day is gonna be da bloody same! In England they tell you it is gonna rain at bloody half-past two and it does!’ I didn’t have the heart to remind him that this is Spain and it usually is the same weather, most of the time.

As it turned out, it is (apparently) Zapatero’s and Franco’s combined fault that the weather was wrong and the weatherman was ‘son of a bitch’. Whether it turns out to be right or wrong, you just feel better after a Spanish forecast than you do a British one. Theirs leaves you looking forward to a barbecue or the beach at the weekend. Ours will tell us how long we can spend outside before we catch some form of skin disease or whether hay fever sufferers should even bother getting up…

on your chopper and see how gracefully he cuts through the air, not.

The mountain bikers are not much better either. It doesn’t matter if you’re out for a quiet walk or standing chatting – they have got to go through without the inconvenience of having to turn their handlebars and at about 1000 miles per hour. If you watch they’ll even try and impress you with a little jump here and there – even Jose’s brother will be there – before pedalling like fury in the direction of the next rambler.

One chap made the mistake of playing ‘Dare’ with Mrs Jones (my Great Dane) once – he ended up in the pine trees…

What I’m calling for today is a worldwide ban on cycling or just wherever I go will do. Perhaps we could have stickers on our cars that would warn the cyclists if we are ‘cycle friendly’ or not, in which case any car sporting a sticker showing a cyclist with a tyre mark running through him would be best avoided by the cyclists. But that won’t work because they never, ever look behind them. Ever.

The highway code doesn’t help either giving them all sorts of ‘rights’ even though they pay nothing to use the road even stating that they have right of way over a car ‘When a motor vehicle turns right or left to enter another road, and a cyclist is near…’ huh? No, I’m sorry cyclists but it’s time to ban it it’s dangerous for a start, riddled with drugs (just look at the Tour de France every year and you’ll see more needles than a WI knitting club. If you break down, i.e. get a puncture you have to push and the clincher as far as I’m concerned is surely you have to question any sport that requires a man to shave his legs…and just one more thing yes mate, compared to you I do own the bloody road.

WHEN ENGLISH EYES ARE GLAZING… Why is it that every time St Patrick’s Day comes around I have the irresistible urge to be Irish?

I know many others feel that way too and, really, I know the answer to my own question…because they have such a bloody good time. And, they make you so welcome; sticking a hat on your head, slapping your back and asking what the ‘***’ you want to drink as you came in the door all of fifteen seconds ago and still haven’t got a drink in your hand?

I’m English and find it hard for someone to celebrate St George’s day with, which is probably a good thing because if the English did go out celebrating and drinking like the Irish – there’d be a fight (this applies to the Scots, the Welsh and, of course, the mujahidin..) but you just know that in a crowded bar celebrating all things English that some moron would take the idea of the

day and turn it into some sort of slurred and blurred BNP rally for which he would get punched on the nose by someone who disagreed with him. Queue the fight. But the Irish seem to be able to celebrate their day without rubbing everyone’s noses in it, and without being xenophobic, having downed enough alcohol to kill the rest of us, well me anyway.

So there I was yesterday, four-leafed clover hat, a red back and watching the room spin while I decided which of the two beers in front of me to pick up…all the while being told by my ‘fellow’ Irishmen that I couldn’t be Irish…unless I could handle a few more…

So I’ve decided that after all I’m English… and always will be, and, from now on St George’s day will be celebrated in my house, with a nice cup of tea…it doesn’t hurt so much the next day.

IRISH – A HAPPY LOT

WHEN YOU CAN’T DO RIGHT FOR DOING BLEEDIN’ WRONG… I’ll give the Spanish one thing (apart from being about the best footy team in the world) and that is, they are honest.

Now before you start saying about the plumber telling you he’ll turn up on Tuesday and actually coming in December or the shopkeeper who says that the dress is definitely your size before you get home and try it on - realising that you look like you’re smuggling potatoes, badly. I’m talking about the serious stuff – when it really means something to them, they can be as blunt as the Derby forward line last season. I say this not just to fill a few lines but because a good (Spanish) friend of mine recently celebrated

her birthday and it had not been long before this that we had discussed the subject and how each of us celebrated them. To my surprise, Nicole (we’ll call her that because that was her name…) told me that she never really did much on her birthday these days, much less get presents. I decided to make her next birthday a surprise by getting her something small but something that would perhaps mean something to her. After deliberating for what seemed like days, (actually, while the adverts were on at half time) I decided in my wisdom that a watch was the answer – you see the irony..? a watch? she’s Spanish and always late…? no…?

never mind. So that’s exactly what I did and went and got the said prezzie – wrapped of course – and come the day I presented her with her, er, present. Nicole thanked me profusely telling me what a good friend I was to think of her but…. actually, she didn’t like it.

I climbed back on the stool and sat there open-mouthed as she told me of the reasons she didn’t like it and thank you very much but could I change it? I did. and I’ve changed it three times since….each time I get a little closer to what she’s looking for I’m sure we’ll get there eventually…

Whatever happened to getting the car cleaning kit for Christmas and telling Aunty

Sue that it is just what you needed as you put in an (another) Oscar-winning performance – much more fun – I do it to our photographer every year and then watch as he tries to appreciate a ‘Limited Edition’ Chinese Waterfall Clock (only another 4,449,000 were made)…

One more gem from Nicole…

When my mum recently visited she joined us for a meal and at the end of the evening, when mum could still drink Beefeater but no longer say it, she commented that she was a very happy person…for such an old lady….

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

WE TOAST THE DEAD – THEY EAT THEM! While we tend to partake in a cuppa and a cucumber sandwich others in the world like to toast the dead…by drinking granddad!

A lot of interesting customs exist around the world, having to do with potable beverages that are used in honouring our dearly departed like in Ancient Egypt where vessels of wine were placed in pyramid tombs along with food so the spirit of the dead wouldn't feel peckish or thirsty on their journey to the underworld.

Many cultures in the western world host some variety of the Irish "wake", in which food and drink

A more traditional funeral where the deceased tends not to be eaten

are consumed, hopefully with fond memories and good wishes to speed the newly dead on their way to ...fill in as applicable.

But that’s a long way from eating granddad but that's exactly what the Uape Indians of the Upper Amazon do. When someone dies, they are cremated with whatever burnable material is at hand while in the meantime someone has brewed a batch of cassiri, the local drink. The beer, which is made from fermentation of the cassa-

va root, has a deadly kick of its own and unless cured or cooked properly it can be dangerous. The raw cassava contains cyanogenic glucosides, and if not fermented thoroughly, drinkers will be next in line for roasting and toasting.

Once the deceased's body has been completely consumed by fire, the ashes are then mixed with cassiri, and the resulting drink is passed around amongst their immediate family and other kin, to be

ON THE SPIRITS

Expat pair call in the church to drive out unwelcome ghosts

BY Spike The owners of the Palacio Blanco hotel in Velez Malaga, British couple Nick and Lesley Vallance, have been forced to call in members of the clergy to rid the 400year-old townhouse of ghosts after receiving half a dozen sightings by guests.

The expat couple decided to turn the ancient building into a hotel, the last thing they expected was to be plagued by paranormal activity but no they have had to enlist the services of the Archdeacon of Gibraltar David Sutch and colleague Father Geoff Johnson, from Nerja, to drive the spirits out after a series of disasters which have been featured on Channel 4’s The Restoration Man, hosted by George Clarke.

Since opening the hotel in 2007, the couple have been plagued by bad luck and the ghouls are the last straw, although, most intriguingly is the appearance of the ghosts where six rooms collapsed during construction. using research the couple have discovered that the building, which was once connected to the church and later a school, has had ghosts on the premises for quite a while including two ghosts called Aloy and Francisco, one of whom was a priest who died in the hotel 100 years ago.

The pair held a Holy Communion service and prayed for the troubled souls,” revealed Nick, adding, ‘hopefully this will change things into a happier scenario for the future as there have been some strange goings on.

And some guests have reported seeing what they described as ghostly apparitions,”.

enjoyed along with tales of the departed's life and accomplishments…but they don’t say whether you get a sausage roll…

Uape Indians

Friday, 18th March, 2011

ARE YOU A ‘GO-GETTER’?

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Cameron tells Brits to be more entrepreneurial but is it really the answer or just another smoke screen?

By Tony Mayes With no money left in the government coffers, the only strategy for growth is to get behind Britain's entrepreneurs.

So says PM David Cameron, and, on the face of it, you can't argue with it.

The PM said he has declared war on the enemies of enterprise and said he would be on the side of the go-getters.

He wants to rid the country of the rules and regulations which hold business back, and he also wants to get bureaucrats off the back of business.

How many times have I heard that same jargon in my life? On the face of it, it's fine, and it's easy said but seems far more difficult to achieve.

It's also a double-edged sword. That's because, for every good businessman / woman there's a wrong-un, or one which bends the rules to suit himself. And if you start dismantling the controls and do away with the inspectors watching over them,

greed will take over.

Here's an example. Can any shopkeeper or owner of a small business put his/her hand on the heart and say they have never been guilty of a bit of creative accounting?

How many have one set of books which is the reality, and another given to the taxman?

How many can honestly say they have never taken a family holiday, bought a family car, given their children a treat, or bought a luxury item and not entered it as a business expense?

Getting my drift? In my book these socalled go-getters are no better than benefit cheats, they are doing exactly the same feathering their own nests and there must be controls to detect and prosecute them. They are all guilty of selling Britain down the river.

Let's go a bit further. How many of them are getting rich at the expense of their employees, keeping staff costs as low as possible and paying themselves over the odds. How many have used the current economic situation as an excuse to deny staff a

pay rise, or even cut their pay?

OK, I'm generalising, there are good bosses, of course there are, but there are plenty of bad apples and that's why there must still be controls in place - call it red tape if you must, but they're necessary.

Let's now head up the gravy train and look at what the directors of top UK businesses get up to.

Year after year they have awarded themselves pay rises of 20 per cent or more even in the downturn and, at the same time, plot in their boardrooms to keep the pay of staff as low as possible.

I can't remember getting anywhere near a 20 per cent pay rise, can you? But that's what the bosses of top companies do, and they justify it by saying that they could go elsewhere, such as the US, and get even more. We need legislation to restrict bosses' pay rises to that of shareholders and staff, so we get a more equal society, not one where the super-rich get richer and the gap between rich and poor ever widens.

And also, wouldn't it be wonderful if company directors were made personally liable for the debts of their companies. Their recklessness may then be curbed and we wouldn't see so many bankruptcies with companies leaving customers in the lurch and creditors left nursing huge losses through no fault of their own.

So, yes, let's free up business from needless red tape but at the same time government should look at ways to make ours a fairer society so there is not one rule for the boss and another for the staff.

This could range from preventing companies outsourcing to a third-world country to save money and throwing UK staff out of work. It could also include legislation to put an end to the excesses revealed in the TV Rip off Britain series. For a start it could look at the insurance industry which creates so much red tape it can wriggle out of almost any claim.

Oh for the day when government really does what the public wants!

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

THE TROUBLE Surnames

Why do the Spanish have to have such complicated names?

By Dave Bull Traditionally, in our culture, if Jimmy Brown and Mary Smith, who live in a British speaking country, decide that it’s time to stop their little b*****ds actually being little b*****ds and get hitched, their child/children would adopt the husbands surname and become say, John Brown etc. Exciting isn’t it? But bear with me (not literally obviously – they’re all hibernating) and we’ll get somewhere with this.

The Spanish, on the other hand, being lovers of the written word, tend to have more than the one surname and at times quite a few. It’s not unusual for some to have three or four, in fact a friend of mine is called, Maria Carmen Mendoza Lopez Garcia Ramirez de Garcia. Not so much doublebarrel as a Gatling gun of a name – which, come to think of it, it actually sounds like when she says it.

How do they get their names? And in what order is it supposed to go? And, while we’re

at it, why don’t ex-pats out here have surnames? I’ll come to that one in a bit but first the Spanish surnames.

The basic rule of Spanish names is fairly simple, when you are born you receive the father’s surname (the one from his father) first and the mother’s surname – from her father.

For those, like me, that need it hammering home (there’s a gag there too…) an example would be, say we have a certain Teresa García Ramírez. Teresa is the name given at birth, García is the family name from her father, and Ramírez is the family name from her mother.

If Teresa García Ramírez then goes and gets up the spout and needs to marry her beau - Elí Arroyo López, she doesn’t change her name. But what she would do would be to add “de Arroyo” - making her name Teresa García Ramírez de Arroyo.

Sometimes, the two surnames can be separated by ‘y’ (meaning “and”), although this is less common than it used to be: Elí Arroyo y López and now and again the grandpar-

ents names are thrown into the mix too making really long monikers such as Maria’s. It all began because of Arabic influence during the years of the conquest and has stayed as a tradition ever since.

Now, to the ex-pats, and the vast amount of people who don’t seem to have a surname in Spain. I’m talking mainly about Brits but there are a few Spanish too. I myself have been known as ‘Jungle Drums Dave’ for the last five years and before that as ‘car hire Dave.’ It seems we’re either categorised by our job, or, if not, by our accent. ‘Geordie Bob’ and ‘Essex Steve’ are common examples of this trait and it’s got to be the way forward hasn’t it? That’s where we originally got our surnames, but the new versions are much better. Take someone called Cooper for example. With all due respect to all the Coopers out there, it’s not very exciting is it?

– being named after a barrel. But then take an ex-pat who runs a bar called ‘Sunset’ and you get ‘Tracey Sunset,’ what a name eh?

Or how about becoming Frankie Carabasi or even ‘Quicksave Claire’ has a certain ring to.

The argument falls down a little when you remember that not all possibilities should be explored. i.e. ‘Barry Poxy Bar on the Corner’ doesn’t quite work but there’s always people who seem to where fifteen different hats – the ones whose advert say, ‘Local Specialists in Yoga and Spiritual Teachers (also key-holding, dog walking and taxi runs).’ We all know at least one, how about ‘Del’ the Toilet Cleaning Sparky Plumber de la Taxi? We could fit right in to the Spanish culture with names as long as that; in fact they’d probably look at us with a wry respect if we did so.

I saw a couple of belters the other day (insert innuendo here please…), one was a Spanish man who runs a scrap yard and is known, and it’ll be either a very good reason, or a very bad one, as ‘Chorizo Juan’ or sausage John in our lingo which seems to take it in a different direction altogether. But the best, the very best I’ve heard recently was for a middle-aged Brit who made a Sharpei dog look like it had just been ironed.

His name? ‘Dennis...whose skin don’t fit…’

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

WITH SPAIN‌

A century of immigration has seen the nation's dictionary of names drastically altered to include a host of foreign ones, the study found that within the last 100 years, the number of people named Ahmed, Singh and Ali, has increased by more than 1,000 per cent each and the name Zhang was found to be the fastest growing name, having risen by 4,718 per cent in popularity in just 13 years.

TOP 10 SURNAMES IN BRITAIN 1. Smith 2. Jones 3. Williams 4. Brown 5. Taylor 6. Davies 7. Wilson 8. Evans 9. Thomas 10. Johnson

JONES...STILL THE SECOND MOST COMMON NAME

LOT OF ZHANG GOING ON‌ The world's most common surname (not surprisingly, considering the numbers) is Chang or Zhang and there are approximately 100 million Zhangs and the name is about 4,700 years old. But in all of Mainland China, there are only 438 last names as Chinese surnames were originally based on geography.

Born in the USA? Below are the top five last names in the United States, according to the 1990 data from the U.S. Census Bureau: Smith, Johnson, Williams, Jones, and Brown.

There are around 3 million Smiths in the U.S., and they've held the top spot for the last 13 years. And although Zhang ranks pretty low on the list of American surnames -2292nd. Perhaps more tellingly, Garcia and Martinez rank 18th and 19th, respectively.

Zhangs - the odd billion or two of them

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

MAKING MELODIES "The new branch of the Costa's leading choir, Melody Makers International, is up and running in Gran Alacant. The choir is looking for any singers who fancy singing the immortal music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, accompanied by a professional band, and conducted by international singer, conductor and vocal tutor, Nigel Hopkins.

Interested singers should attend rehearsals at LOS BELGAS Restaurante, Avda.

Noruega 214, Local 16-17, Gran Alacant (Santa Pola) each Thursday morning ... from

11am - 1pm. If you can sing in tune you are welcome, as full training will be given by Nigel Hopkins. Further details can be obtained by phoning Sue on 966 697 570, or Pauline on 966 775 976.

Alternatively, singers can join the established choir at the Asturias Restaurante at Punta Prima, Orihuela Costa, which meets each Tuesday from 5.30pm - 7.30pm. This is a unique opportunity to sing the fabulous music of Andrew Lloyd Webber with the best on the Costa. Don't be shy ... come along!"

Is holding a "Walk for Life" on 10th April which is a Fun Walk for everyone whilst raising money.

The Walk will start at 10.00a.m. down by the El Clot as before. Please come and join us and dress up, we will be dressed in the customary Pink and showing off a brightly deco-

rated bra. There will be a prize for the best.

It is just a 4km. walk so all ages can join in and dogs are welcome. The really fit can go round twice. For more information or Sponsor Forms please contact Jan 966 697 754 or Angela 965 060 182. Posters and flyers will be on display locally nearer the time.

MABS CANCER SUPPORT GROUP IN GRAN ALACANT

FOREIGNERS MAKE UP A THIRD OF UNEMPLOYED IN MURCIA

By Jake Monroe

The number of foreign unemployed people in Spain went up to 1,095,300 people in 2010.

Now, one in every four people on the dole in Spain is foreign. In the region of Murcia

there are 68,900 foreigners who are out of work, and 38.5% of the unemployed in Murcia are non-Spaniards, much higher than the national percentage. Of the unemployed, 56.2% are men and 43.8% are women.

In Murcia 11.7% of homes have all their workers unemployed.

SPANISH MAN LEFT SON IN CAR TO VISIT BROTHEL: POLICE In La Zenia a Spanish man left his eight-yearold son locked in the car for an hour in near-freezing temperatures while he visited a nearby brothel, police said Friday.

Police were alerted by a jogger who spotted the boy crying and calling for help last Thursday night inside a car parked in the street.

Asked if he knew where his father was, the boy said he had told him that he would return in five minutes but had not. He insisted that he be let out of the car because he was very cold since the heat was not turned on, police said. Inside the car the temperature hovered around three degrees Celsius (37 Fahrenheit) at

the time, the police statement said.

Police found the boy's 39year-old father inside a nearby brothel and after the man acknowledged he had left his son in the car for about an hour because "he had a meeting with someone inside the establishment,” he was cautioned. Bet his wife wasn’t too chuffed wither…

Friday, 18th March, 2011

VALENCIAN TOWN HALLS HAVE DEBTS AS OLD AS TWO YEARS

By Sally Bengtsson Not one single Town Hall in the Comunidad of Valencia pays their bills on time. The start of the economic crisis already meant that the majority demanded three months extra to meet payments, but even this isn’t being met now.

To make matters worse, they are taking longer and longer to pay bills.

The Presidents of the General Council of the Alicante School of Economists, Francisco Menargues, believes that it is now vital that local municipalities adopt definite measures to reduce their financial problems. The problem is much worse in Valencia than in the rest of Spain.

Menargues explained that the main reason for the financial chaos in the region is the drop in the amount of tax received for new building work. Town Halls receive 4% of the

total price of a project, but the well documented lack of new builds has meant this form of income has more or less stopped.

Part of the blame is also placed on expenditure for the up and coming elections on May 22nd.

Local governments are spending money they haven’t got, in a bid to convince supporters to vote for them again. The organisation of the elections is also costly, and no one wants to cut corners or miss some vital part of the voting organisation.

Some of the Town Halls in Valencia have debts as old as two years. Those worse affected by this are the small and medium local businesses, which cannot survive when they are not paid on time. Many have disappeared, being forced to close their doors, with workers having no option than to claim unemployment benefit, making the whole situation continue in its own vicious circle.

Bag Snatch - Las Mimosas Playa Flamenca Area Last Sunday 6th March at around 7 p.m. a local lady was stopped and asked directions by 2 well-dressed men in a new silver Mercedes. the driver attempted to engage her in conversation and did all the talking while the passenger grabbed her bag, the victim tried to hold on to the bag as car drove off and

was dragged alongside the car for a distance, eventually letting go.

The victim is badly bruised and shaken but recovering and police have now discovered that just a few moments before another female had been stopped by the same car but she ignored the men and carried on walking.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

PLENTY OF US LOT OUT HERE

NEW HOSPITAL COMPARED TO A ROLLS

By Sally Bengtsson It’s like jumping off a scooter and into a Rolls Royce”, is how one doctor described the change from working in the old Los Arcos Hospital in Santiago de la Ribera, to the brand new Hospital which opened to business this week, and is situated just outside San Javier.

The old hospital may have had stunning sea views of the Mar Menor, but this didn’t make up for the narrow corridors and decaying walls. The ninety patients who were undergoing treatments in the hospital when it was officially closed down were all moved to the new hospital by ambulance.

They swapped sea views for a mountain view of Cabezo Gordo and agricultural crops.

As boxes were filled with medical equipment and shelves were emptied of medicines, more than one member of staff shed a tear at having to say goodbye to the building which had been their workplace for a good many years. “The years working here have been a roller coaster of experiences and emotions,” said Juan Vicente Ortega, the head of the emergency department.

The first complaint about the new hospital has been over the car park. The 850 hospital employees all need to park, as do the out patients and visitors. At present parking is free, and everyone would like to keep it that way, however this has not yet been confirmed. The problem is that outside the hospital car park there is nowhere cars can overflow to. The area is surrounded by greenhouses and fields.

The hospital worked well on its first day and the most notable difference was the light and airy feel of the whole building and the sensation of newness.

BA AND IBERIA MERGER GOING WELL SO FAR

By Jake Monroe

According to data from the European Union statistics office based on national censuses, there were 133,000 British living permanently in France in 2005, ranking it second behind Spain, with 205,000, as a European destination of choice for the restless British.

The number in Spain had risen to 354,000 by 2008 but France does not have more

recent data, however some estimates put the number now at closer to 200,000, with as many second-home owners.

In some parts of France and Spain, local services have expanded, helped by the spending of the newcomers and a hard core of expatriates is determined to stay and pursue the dream despite the financial backdrop beyond their control.

UK nationals living abroad are not included According to the government everyone living or staying in the United Kingdom on census day, Sunday 27 March, must take part in the 2011 Census so that the needs of all communities are identified. The census generates statistics at national and local level needed by the government and other UK organisations but expats living abroad are not included because they do not directly use or impact on services in the UK. They contacted us at The Courier last week as they are constantly being contacted by people living in Spain who would like the opportunity to be counted in the 2011 Census. If this describes your situation, read on… there is no legal requirement for you to be counted at this time and the organisation apologised that they do not currently have the resources or facilities to enable you to take part but if you are temporarily away

from the country for less than 12 months, you should be counted on the questionnaire which will be sent to the UK address where you usually live. If you do not have an address where you usually live, you will not be counted in the 2011 Census.

If you are away on census day 2011 Census requires everyone to be counted at the address where they usually live.

Anyone away from home on census day, Sunday 27 March, must be included on the household questionnaire for their usual address.

People going on holiday If you are away on holiday for census day, Sunday 27 March, either complete the questionnaire before you go, or as soon as possible upon your return.

IT MAKES CENSUS…

New business partners Iberia and British Airways, after nearly two months of effective union, have yet to have their first official fight. “Better than expected” is how Iberia CEO Rafael Sánchez-Lozano described the relationship, attributing it to the fact that the strategic merger was thought out “for a long time.”

The fact that each airline has remained to a certain extent independent from each other no doubt goes a long way toward this “marital bliss.” In fact, the degree of autonomy can sometimes surprise customers. First class travellers flying with BA from Madrid, for instance, are turned away from Iberia’s express security control, and will find that it is quite useless to protest that the companies have now merged.

Gavin Halliday, BA’s General Manager for Europe and Africa, recently explained that there are some difficulties harmonizing their own mobile boarding pass systems with those used by Spanish airport operator AENA, but that this glitch should be resolved in a few weeks. In any case, BA will have to pay AENA for the benefit of offering its customers the express service — which it probably will in order to keep its highest-paying clients happy, since they are the ones who bring in the biggest profits for the company.

Is this, then, simply a financial merger? At a

meeting with European journalists last Monday at BA headquarters in Waterside, near Heathrow Airport, BA chief executive Keith Williams said that the great value of both brands explained the need to maintain that operating independence while it also became necessary to consolidate traditional airlines to make them stronger in an environment where “consumers increasingly view the market in a global way.”

For Iberia and BA passengers, there are important benefits resulting from the merger, said Williams and Halliday, such as a larger network, similar baggage policies, and additional help catching a connecting flight at some of the airlines’ hubs. What customers will not be benefiting from, at least in the short run, is cheaper travel.

With oil prices on the rise again, BA already raised its fuel fees twice, once in December and again in February. This is a policy that Williams prefers to directly raising ticket prices, because it is easier to pass the costs along to the consumer.

As part of their future plans, last week Iberia announced it would upgrade its long-range fleet through the acquisition of eight Airbus 330s and a purchase option on eight more.

Meanwhile, IAG (the parent company that brings both carriers together) has returned to the Spanish blue-chip Ibex 35, besides being listed on London’s FTSE 100.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

A SNAPSHOT OF HISTORY Famous snaps recovered in an attic in Mexico are a reminder of a terrible and tough history

Dave Bull A series of snaps that were recovered in December 2007 after being considered lost since 1939– including a rare shot of writer Ernest

Hemingway – is part of a fascinating collection of never-before-seen photos from the Spanish Civil War. It is currently in the USA and the plan is for it is to go on display in Spain later this year.

Known as the ‘Mexican Suitcase’, the find which managed to survive 70 years, including, the Second World War and a journey through several countries, including, Spain, France, Mexico and eventually the US, the collection shows the reality of a country torn apart by civil war. Containing over 4500 negatives the series shows life during the war as from the lenses of three photographers, Robert Capa, Gerda Taro and David Seymour (known as Chim), whose pioneering photography of the war has long been held in high esteem but it had always been thought that much of their work had been lost.

The long lost work of the three photographers, miraculously surfaced in three flimsy cardboard boxes in an attic in Mexico City. But now, the captivating exhibition is being brought to Barcelona this autumn and is also expected to be travelling south to Andalucía so with a bit of luck we may get a glimpse of them in Alicante.

But these photographers need to be remembered because not only did they provide us with an insight into civil war but they risked their lives to capture the spirit of the conflict, taking some of the most evocative and compelling images of a war that open one’s eyes to devastating effects that conflict brings.

It may come as no surprise that all three died working behind the lens. ; Taro lost his life in 1937 at the bloody battle of Brunete.

Her boyfriend Capa, died during the French IndoChina war in 1954, and Chim while photographing the Suez Crisis of 1956.it is a shame that all three tragically went to their deaths long before the Mexican

Suitcase was found in the attic and the art world had presumed it lost. But, for now, it draws the crowds at the International Centre of Photography in New York.

Can’t wait.

DID YOU KNOW…?

Some 1400 Canadians became involved in the Spanish Civil War, with half of them never returning and depending on your perspective at the time; the presence of Canadians in Spain was a brief glimpse of supreme heroism, a national embarrassment, or total foolishness. It would seem that the latter would apply as there is not much written historically about Canada’s involvement on the subject.

WHY DID IT START ?

It was just over one hundred years ago, that Spain's glory days hit the skids. After the SpanishAmerican war of 1898, (Cuba became independent and Puerto Rico and the Philippines were palmed off to the Yanks, Spain was down to the last nugget remaining of its imperialism. The only colony which remained was Morocco, and even that soon became a drain on the military. For the first

30 years in the 20th century, incompetent government (shock), poverty among the working class and military unrest became catalysts for an outpouring of feelings and emotions.

But the first sign of trouble came as early as 1909 when 850 reservists were conscripted for military service to Morocco but shortly after the troops had boarded ships in Barcelona, a general strike was called by anar-

chists and unionists and over 60 churches were burned killing hundreds of people.

Although the Catholic Church still clung on to political and financial power, it had few practising members and a population that wanted to do away with any form of church or state control. That was on top of extreme poverty at home which began to alienate the unemployed and the rumblings of discontent began.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

WHAT THE SPAN

LOST CITY OF ATLANTIS FOUND!

‘Lost City’ discovered near Cadiz Experts say that they have finally located the lost city of Atlantis; the legendary metropolis which it is believed was swamped by a tsunami thousands of years ago in mud flats in southern Spain.

Have you tried swimming like him?

Said Professor Freund, a University of Hartford, Connecticut, professor who led an international team searching for the site of Atlantis, "It is just so hard to understand that it can wipe out 60 miles inland, and that's pretty much what we're talking about, ‘’ although following the events in Japan last week I think we all have a greater appreciation of what nature can do. But to solve the age-

old mystery, the team used a satellite photo of a suspected submerged city to find the site just north of Cadiz, Spain.

And it is there, buried in the vast marshlands of the Dona Ana Park, that they believe lies the lost city known as Atlantis. Two years ago the team of archaeologists and geologists started exploring using a combination of deep-ground radar, digital mapping, and underwater technology to survey the site. The discovery in central Spain of a strange series of "memorial cities," built in Atlantis' image by its refugees after the city's likely destruction by a tsunami, gave researchers added proof and confidence, he said, adding that the Atlantis residents who did not die in the tsunami went inland and built new cities. The team's work was unveiled last Sunday in "Finding Atlantis," a new National Geographic Channel special.

It is impossible at the moment to know with certainty that the site in Spain is definitely Atlantis, but finding the memorial cities makes him confident Atlantis was buried in the mud flats on Spain's southern coast. "We found something that no one else has ever seen before, which gives it a layer of credibility, especially for archaeology, that makes a lot more sense," Freund said.

Greek philosopher Plato wrote about Atlantis some 2,600 years ago, describing it as "an island situated in front of the straits which are

by you called the Pillars of Hercules," which is what the Straits of Gibraltar used to be known as and using Plato's detailed account of Atlantis as a map, searches have focused on the Mediterranean and Atlantic as the best possible sites for the city.

Argument over whether Atlantis truly existed has gone on for thousands of years and Plato's writings from around 360 B.C. are the only known sources of information about the lost city.

Further excavations are planned at the site where they believe Atlantis is located and at the mysterious "cities" in central Spain 150 miles away to more closely study geological formations and to date artefacts.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

NISH PAPERS SAY

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

OVER A TON OF DRUGS IN FALSE BOTTOM

MAKEOVER FOR TORREMENDO BUT NO BOTOX NEEDED The village of Torremendo will be transformed during the coming months after works to renovate the village’s main square started this weekend.

The project to update the church square began with the demolition of the old schools and the Mayor of Orihuela, Monica Lorente, the Councillor for Districts, Antonio Rodriguez Murcia, the Pedania Mayor for Torremendo and other members of the Orihuela government team were on hand to see the bulldozers set to work on the old buildings. The project is scheduled to take four months and has a budget of €320,168 as a result of a ‘Plan Confianza’ grant, courtesy of the Valencian Catalan Autonomous Government.

The works that will be carried out in the

centre of the village will have great importance for the lives of the residents of Torremendo as they will be able to use the space as a place to meet, enjoy traditional fiestas and take spiritual contemplation in the surroundings of the village church. The urban area of Torremendo, as many residents will agree, is inadequate for the needs of its citizens and the pavements and roads around the village have been in need of updating for many years after serious deterioration during the passage of time. The village is a challenge for disabled visitors as the pavements do not include inclines and are therefore inaccessible to wheelchair users. This problem will be eradicated as a result of the re-urbanisation project.

BRIT WOMAN MURDERED The real thing...

A gang that had an extensive infrastructure in South America and connections all over the world has been arrested and broken up by national police in Tarragona. The nine were arrested in Spain in an operation that led to the seizure of roughly 1,100 kilos (1.2 tons) of cocaine hidden in two containers.

The gang - mainly made up of Spaniards – transported the drugs in containers and during the sting by police the first container had been offloaded at the northeastern

port of Tarragona, in the Catalonia autonomous region, and later taken to an industrial complex, where the police arrested three people and seized 627 kilos of cocaine hidden in a false bottom.

Police later learned that the same company had imported another container and tracked it down in the neighbouring autonomous region of Valencia, where seven people were arrested and once inspected it was discovered that the second container had a false bottom containing 480 kilos of cocaine.

KICK OUT THE CROOKS Pressure group demands removal of ‘corrupt politicians’ Before the elections take place in May OVER 100,000 people have signed a campaign against political corruption by a group called AVAAZ, meaning ‘voice’, which demands that hundreds of ‘dirty’ candidates must be removed from running for local and regional elections.

The Spanish arm of pressure group AVAAZ, instigated the drive as it emerged

that eight out of 10 Spaniards believe their politicians are corrupt following scores of arrests in recent years and the petition demands that anyone who has been previously indicted for corruption related charges should not be allowed to stand. A recent report showed that 700 judicial investigations into bribery and corruption were reported in 2010 alone – seems like they have good reason to worry.

A British woman has been murdered and a manhunt launched after the woman was stabbed to death on her doorstep allegedly by her ex-boyfriend.

Police are searching for the Spanish exboyfriend of Marilyn Wilson, 55, who was killed as she was leaving her home near Madrid on Monday. She was later found

unconscious with stab wounds to her chest and stomach and later died in hospital.

Miss Wilson had a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend after he beat her last summer and a spokesman for the Guardia Civil defended the service stating that they had been in regular contact with her and had even visited her home on Saturday.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

GOTTA HAVE FAITH While Faith is away having treatment we thought we’d bring an update from the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre.

A WALKING MIRACLE

An urgent phone call from the police lead to the rescue of Bronson, a beautiful young Spanish stallion found staggering close to a road in Almoradi back in October of last year.

The reason for his lack of balance became clear only after he had collapsed and we managed to get close enough to view his injuries.

He had a huge hole above his left eye and was losing blood.

With the help of our equine vet Dorothea we managed to stabilise him enough to be able to transport him to the rescue centre.

X-rays revealed that he had a fracture running from above his eye, across to his ear and all the way down to his jaw. Shockingly, fragments of metal were found in the wound, it appeared that someone had tried to kill him with a hammer!

Bronson spent a week in intensive care, he had to be double tied so that he wouldn't fall over and dislodge the drips that were keeping him alive those first days.

It has been a slow recovery for him, and although he has regained his strength and the fractures are healing the damage to his inner ear and the part of the brain that controls the left side of his body are permanent. It means that his balance is affected and his vision is impaired, but Bronson is learning to adapt to his problems and although when he gets excited he still falls over sometimes he is one of the kindest, happiest horses you could meet.

Being a stallion, probably kept stabled 24/7 and only brought out for servicing the mares it is unlikely that he has ever been allowed to have any natural contact with other horses. And although he has been free to walk around parts of the stable yard each day for the last few months it became

obvious that he was desperate to join his stable mates as they went out of their paddocks everyday and so a few weeks ago Bronson had the big snip!

Following his friend Faith's departure for Barcelona last week Bronson has been looking a little depressed, although we weren't even sure that he would be able to cope with the walk to the paddocks we made the " now or never" decision to take him out of the yard to his very own paddock. We just hoped that we would be able to get him back once he saw the mares!

His nerves when first leaving the safety of the yard quickly changed to wonderment and excitement at this amazing new experience. With hardly a wobble he walked to his paddock calling out to all his friends, who in turn called back to

him.

With our breath held we released him into his paddock and watched in amazement as Bronson, this horse who has fought his way back from deaths door galloped and bucked all the way around his field.

He didn't fall over, in fact watching him you wouldn't have known that he had any balance problems at all.

He then put on a fine display of "look at me girls" for the mares in the next field, who were very impressed at his prowess. This was our other worry, thankfully the "snip" seemed to have worked and although there was a few minutes of excited snorts and squeals all soon calmed down.

Remembering the horrific state Bronson was in when he was rescued we felt as if we were witnessing a miracle.

The feeling of happiness we felt at his happiness that day will stay with us forever.

Rescuing and re-habilitating Bronson has only been possible thanks to our supporters. Without whom Bronson along with many of our other horses, ponies and donkeys would not have survived and be living happy, loved lives here at the rescue centre.

As a non funded charity we rely solely on donations, sponsorship and fund raising events, with 34 equines here at the centre it is a daily struggle to keep our heads above water.

As well as food and general care, many of our horses and ponies need medical treatments and as with Faith, one of our miniature horses life saving operations.

To find out how you can help, visit www.easyhorsecare.net or call 652 021 980 Sue Weeding

KIDDIES CORNER

News for Kids Japan has been hit by the biggest earthquake in its history.

It struck off the north east coast of the country, but its tremors were felt hundreds of miles away.

Ten-year-old Isabel was at school in Tokyo when it happened. Here's her story...

"Me and my friend got back from our Japanese lesson and everyone was under the tables. We didn't understand why, because nothing was shaking, but then the clock fell and everything started shaking so we ran to get under the table. It was about three minutes long, then we had to go outside and just wait for about an hour. The earthquake was felt in Tokyo, hundreds of miles from its epicentre.

In Tokyo, there were lots of people but nothing really looked different, because nothing had fallen really. We were all really scared. At least we were fine, but we didn't know about our parents and our

siblings. Lots of people were crying. We've been told to stay at home.

Now that we've been picked up, we know our families are safe so there's nothing we can really do. There have been quite a lot of aftershocks.

There are some very powerful ones which shake the house. But as time goes on, the aftershocks are a lot softer. In a way, it's just like being in a car when it's shaking. It's something very big in my life. It's probably the scariest day I've had."

Isabel, 10, Tokyo, Japan

Space Shuttle Retires The space shuttle Discovery has had a long and busy career. For 27 years, it has worked for NASA, carrying astronauts to space and back on 39 missions. On Wednesday, after returning from its final voyage, the world's most traveled spaceship was retired. A crowd of shuttle workers, reporters and schoolchildren waited to greet Discovery at

Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida. Three minutes before noon, they watched as the shuttle appeared in the sky and made one last touchdown. "For the final time: wheels stop," Discovery's commander Steven Lindsey said when the shuttle rolled to a stop.

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Interesting Facts

When you see lightning, it is travelling at about 227 million mph.

Horseshoe crabs lived before dinosaurs.

About 6,000,000

pounds of space dust settle on earth every year.

Monkeys can go bald in old age, just like humans can.

Dragonflies can see in all directions at once.

The world's heaviest onion weighed more that the head of a man.

Only male toads croak.

You can tell lions apart by the spots at the base of their whiskers.

Opposite sides of dice always add up to seven.

An average yawn lasts about six seconds.

The Empire State building was built with ten

Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer! (No idea) What did the glue say to the teacher?

"I'm stuck on you!

There was this 1,000 story house.

What do you think they do there all the time?

Read.

What watches your wrist and keeps track of time?

A wrist watch.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

He wanted to find Pooh!

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

You crack me up.

Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach all those high notes.

million bricks.

Eating shrimp can turn white flamingos pink.

Sharks have eight senses while we humans only have five.

Your brain is about three quarters water.

The Bahamas once had an undersea post office.

There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on the earth.

A dairy cow produces about 100,000 glasses of milk in its lifetime.

Yo-yos rode on two spaceships.

The oldest human footprint ever found is 350,000 years old.

Cool Kids Cooking – see pages 24-25

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the cafeteria?

The food.

Where will you find the cows in outer space?

On the Milky Way!

Volcano gets active A new vent opened at Kilauea volcano in Hawaii on March 5, shooting lava up to 65 feet high. Kilauea, located on Hawaii's Big Island, is one of the world's most active volcanoes. The fissure eruption was spotted soon after the floor at the volcano's Pu'u O'o crater collapsed around 5 p.m. on Saturday, according to the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory. A fissure eruption occurs when magma flows up through cracks in the earth's crust and leaks out onto the surface. The vent opened up two miles west of the crater, in the middle of the volcano's east rift zone. A rift zone is an area where the ground has spread apart to form cracks, faults or vents.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

Welease Bwian! I Would Wather Wead The Couwier!

Friday, 18th March, 2011

TIME TO STOP SPOILING OUR COAST

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AN IN DEPTH INTERVIEW WITH MARTINA SCHEURER Candidate for the Green Party in Orihuela Costa

By Sally Bengtsson

The imminent local elections, which take place on May 22nd, have the opportunity to change the face of Town Halls throughout Spain. One municipality which could be really shaken up is Orihuela, and residents of Orihuela Costa are being invited to show their dissatisfaction with the ruling PP party, by casting their votes for whichever party best represents what they would like done differently in the area.

The Green Party already have three councillors in Orihuela Town Hall, and if their rising popularity continues, this number could double in the next elections. Martina Scheurer is the first foreign resident who is almost guaranteed a seat, as she is number three on the list of Green Party candidates, and local polls suggest the Green Party may achieve up to six seats.

The Green Party began in 2003 in Orihuela, gaining by surprise, one seat. Since then, their common sense approach and demand for transparency and total honesty, has meant that the party has grown and grown in supporters. The 3 seats they gained in 2007 shook the rug from under the feet of the PP, but were not enough to remove the majority the PP have held for years.

However, things may be different this year, and the Green Party is inviting everyone to come and talk to them in their office in Pueblo Principe, above the Rendezvous Bar, to air your views, vent your problems and listen to what the Green Party would do to change the way things are done on the coast.

The Orihuela costa Martina speaks five languages; English, Spanish, German, French and Italian, so communication will not be a problem for her. She is passionate about making a difference to the area, which she knows well.

She started coming here in 1993, and has lived here permanently for the last twelve years.

She has seen how Orihuela Costa has been spoilt through unplanned constructions, unfinished services, abandoned buildings, unkempt green areas and local schools made out of containers. As she says, “I love Orihuela Costa but loved it more before. The way it has developed is very bad. It has been done with no global vision. These things simply should not happen, and it’s the local town hall’s duty to stop a builder if he is constructing a building in the wrong place. It’s no good just fining him a fraction of the value of the finished building.”

‘No wonder Orihuela Costa is in such a mess!’

Builders dress very well on the coast... picious wheeling’s and dealings he would be struck off the list of candidates. However here it makes little difference. Amongst the Orihuela PP party there are four candidates under investigation for corruption, yet they all still expect to be re-elected!”

So if people do decide to say “Enough is enough!” and vote for another party, what have the Green Party got to offer which is different to the other parties? Martina replies that if the Green party were to gain more power it wouldn’t be easy to sort out the huge mess that the whole area is in, but that they are decided on the steps they would take.

To start with, over the first few months, they would evaluate the problems, and then they would be open for applications for consultants and advisors. They would consider all the applications and then give the job to the most qualified candidate, not the person with the most friends already in government. She adds, “The PP has 22 consultants employed by them and paid a wage, many of whom have no expertise whatsoever in their area.” As Martina points out, if you are ill you go to the doctor, and not to your neighbour. No wonder Orihuela Costa is in such a mess!” The Green Party would change the whole system of working.

In the last elections the seats won were broken down like this:

When asked what the Green Party would do to resolve all these problems which already exist she has no doubt in answering. “The first thing would be to eradicate all the corruption which goes on in the town hall. In other countries if a politician is under investigation for sus-

Party P.P. PSOE Los Verdes C.L.R. C.L. A.P.O. P.S.D. CLARO I.U. B.I.A. blank annulled 208

total votes 14113 7112 2847 1881 1423 1157 1149 916 417 112 419

%age 44,74 22,54 9,02 5,96 4,51 3,67 3,64 2,90 1,32 0,36 1,33

Nr. seat 14 7 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

So, if you add up the seats of the opposition parties they were still fewer (11) than those won by the PP (14). Hopefully this year things will be different and the PP stronghold can be broken. If the other parties can get 13 seats between them the PP won’t have the overall majority.

If you would like to have a chat with Martina she can be found in the Green Party Office, above the Rendezvous Bar, from 10am to 2pm Monday to Friday. Alternatively you can phone her on 686 107 246. As she says, “If you are unhappy with the way things are going in Orihuela Costa then you really should go and vote.” And anyone who has not already registered to vote may still be able to do so through “Reclamaciones”.

GO TO PAGE 28 FOR...

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

WHEN IN ROME… …WELL, MONOVAR Paul Payne explores Spain… …and eats some of its wildlife

The only one of my New Year’s resolutions that has survived beyond February is to take the time to visit some of the Costa Blanca's interior villages, towns and countryside.

This year will be our third in Spain since moving from the UK and our family days out have almost exclusively been restricted to the coastal spots that line this wonderful part of the world. As great as they are, I am determined to see what is beyond those hills and mountains that provide the backdrop to my daily commute from Gran Alacant to Torrevieja.

So when my good friend Joaquin invited me and my family

to spend the afternoon in Monovar with his family, I knew the New Year’s resolution was still alive for another week at least.

After picking up the Madrid road past the Alicante airport, we arrived in Monovar in around 25 minutes. The town is located near the river Vinalopo and first impressions were that it is a well maintained place with an interesting mix of old and modern buildings. Overseeing all is the castle and the Santa Barbara hermitage. The streets steeply run up the slopes towards the castle and provided the morning (prelunch) exercise I needed while the kids bounded up effortlessly.

From the top of the hill you get a great view over the rooftops and the town below. Now, killing an hour or two in Monovar on a Sunday morning is as easy as it is peaceful with no shortage of Café's open and ready to provide you with another people watching opportunity.

‘For the kids though, snails were a gastropod too far’ After all the strolling the subject of lunch moved to the top of the agenda. Feeling more than a little smug that we had some insider/local knowledge with us in the form of Joaquin we headed to the outskirts of the town to the El

Raco restaurant which adjoins the towns sporting club. Again, a peaceful spot with plenty of outside space for the kids to run and play. We were assured of an authentic Spanish lunch experience and we were not disappointed. Our host for the day ordered some starters including plates of Serrano Ham and Cheese which were soon devoured. We all agreed to share a gigantic Paella, but I have to admit to some worried looks from the family when we discovered the 'typical of the region' paella contained snails and rabbit. Not wanting to appear the fussy Englishman that I really am, I decided to lead by example and tuck in. For the kids though,

snails were a gastropod too far. I am happy to say that the dish was nothing short of sublime.

I was already well in to the second helping when I noticed Joaquin's plate was full with rice but bereft of snails and rabbit. I enquired as to why he wasn't eating like us, to which he replied "snails and rabbit? No, not for me I'm afraid"! Well, at least I felt a little a more Spanish after the days culinary surprise.

Sunday morning in Monovar and lunch at El Raco are highly recommended.

El Raco del Salat C/ Cervantes, 2 03640 Monóvar / Monòver (Alicante) Tel: 96 696 05 11

TOP 10 LARGEST CITIES IN SPAIN 1 Madrid Madrid is the capital of Spain and with a population of 2,824,000 is also the largest city in the country.

2 Barcelona Barcelona is the second largest city in Spain and it is

also the home of the famous soccer club FC Barcelona.

P o p u l a t i o n : 1,454,000

4 Sevilla Sevilla is the 4th largest city in Spain whith 695,000 citizens.

3 Valencia Valencia is the third largest city in Spain whith a population of 736,000.

5 Zaragoza Population: 601,000 6 Málaga Population: 542,000

7 Las Palmas de Gran Canaria Population: 354,000 8 Bilbao Population: 351,000 9 Murcia Population: 350,000 10 Valladolid Population: 317,000

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

SEA FOOD & EAT IT! Living on the coast we have an abundance of fresh fish on our doorstep – but what’s the best way to cook it?

Try our new series of fish and sea food recipes from local chefs and restaurants and don’t forget to write in if you want to know something about cooking and we’ll ask the experts!

Right, let’s start at the beginning and start to prepare our fresh catch.

1. Cleaning Fish

Some fish are left whole and baked or grilled covered in aluminium foil, for instance oven baked bass, popular amongst most fish lovers. In this case, all you need to do is scale the fish and clean the insides. Scaling fish involves placing it on a flat surface then using a fish scaler or the blunt edge of a knife to remove the scales.

Move the knife along the outer surface of the fish from tail to head. The translucent whitish scales will come off when you do this; once you're through, wipe down with

a clean kitchen towel, flip over and repeat for the other side. Some fish have smooth outer skins that don't require scaling, for these, and for the fish you've scaled, make a neat slit along the belly of the fish using the tip of your knife.

Starting at the gills, make a clean incision and then slide the knife towards the tail, elongating the slit as you go along. Take care to keep the slit somewhat shallow, to avoid puncturing the internal organs.

Once your slit extends from end to end, loosen the organs on either end with a knife, then use your fingers to remove the entrails - this process is called gutting fish. Hold under running water and wash well, both inside and out until the water runs clear.

If you're using the fish whole, most recipes will leave the head on, though you can choose to remove it if you wish. You can cut off the tail with a single sharp slice, to neaten the end.

Bass fish is a popular species of fish found in almost all oceans around the world. The different types of bass fish are Australian sea bass, black sea bass, Chilean sea bass, Japanese sea bass and European sea bass.

Let's have a look at a delicious bass fish recipe.

DID YOU KNOW…?

Spain is the world’s biggest strawberry exporter

Honey Mustard Sea Bass Ingredients •1 pound sea bass fillets, they should be about 1 to 1½ inches thick •½ cup white cooking wine •2 tbsp Dijon mustard •2 tbsp extra virgin oil •2 tbsp honey •Juice of ½ lemon •1/2 tsp of Worcestershire sauce •1/4 tsp ground black pepper Method 1. Take a large mixing bowl and mix all the ingredients, except bass fish fillets. Now add the sea fillets and coat them very well.

2. Preheat the grill on high flame.

3. Remove the fish from the marinade and place it on the grill.

4. Brush some of the marinade and cook for 5 to 7 minutes.

Turn the fish and apply marinade again and cook for 5 to 7 minutes.

5. To see if fish fillets are cooked check it by slipping in a fork. When done, remove from heat and serve.

FEEL LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT?

Why not test your taste buds (and your cooking skills) and at the same time impress your friends with something a little different to dish up for dinner or even a party.

Oriental Chicken

10 FRUITY FACTS The strawberry season can start as early as December and run until June but the peak is from February until April Last year nearly 65,000 women – mainly immigrants from Romania, Poland and Morocco – were hired to pick strawberries Strawberry farming brings in an annual profit in the region of 320 million euros.

Police arrested four Romanian youngsters aged between 19 and 25 last month for trying to steal 750kg of strawberries worth 1,800 euros.

In 2007 the WWF warned that strawberry plantations in Huelva were threatening the Donana National Park by depleting the water sources.

The divorce rate in Huelva is said to go up in strawberry season as the influx of beautiful immigrant workers prove too much temptation for the village men.

Spain is the world’s biggest strawberry exporter with about 90 per cent of Spain’s strawberries grown in Huelva where strawberry production began in the early 1980s.

Hard times in the recession have forced many Spaniards back to the fields to find work fruit picking but they face stiff competition from the lower-earning immigrants who come every year.

A new strawberry picking robot from Japan, which is able to detect the colour of a ripe strawberry via special cameras, threatens to eliminate thousands of the jobs.

What you’ll need: 4 plump, free-range chicken thighs 5 fl oz (150 ml) Shaosing (Chinese brown rice wine) 3 fl oz (75 ml) Japanese soy sauce 1 heaped teaspoon peeled, grated fresh root ginger 4 cloves garlic, crushed 5 whole star anise 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil To garnish: 1 small red chilli, deseeded and cut into fine shreds 1 spring onion, cut into fine shreds To serve: 5 fl oz (150 ml) rice, cooked Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 6, 400°F (200°C).

You will also need a small flameproof casserole.

Remove the skin from the chicken, and then place the skinned chicken thighs in the casserole. Now mix the rest of the ingredients, and 2 fl oz (55 ml) water, together in a bowl and pour this mixture over the chicken.

Place the casserole over a medium heat and bring the liquid to the boil. Now trans-

fer it to the oven (no need to cover) and bake on the centre shelf for 40 minutes, turning the chicken halfway through the cooking time.

Serve the cooked chicken on a bed of plain rice with the sauce poured over and the shreds of chilli and spring onion sprinkled on top.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

ENJOY THE TASTE OF CHOCOLATE – WITHOUT EATING IT! A NEW APPROACH TO FOOD. A liquid is poured into a globe and a cloud vapour rises which you imbibe directly through a modified straw. At the moment you can sample a Tarte Citron, Tomato air which is reminiscent of tomato soup, and even a Martini Classic.

Le Whaf works by vaporising liquid poured into the bowl of the machine, creating a drinks cloud made of thousands of tiny 5 micron-sized particles, due to their size, these remain in suspension in the air. Once in suspension, the vapour cloud is decanted into a glass which "breathers" then inhale through a straw. So you can now possibly enjoy the taste of chocolate without the guilt of the calories…

Photo: Paul Cooper www.cooperphotos.co.uk

STAY HEALTHY! 100 CALORIE SNACKS According to the 100 calorie diet, you need not follow a low fat diet or reduce on your carbohydrates in order to lose a considerable amount of weight. You can simply reduce your daily calorie intake by controlling the quantity of foods you eat to 100 calories. Therefore, when you consume your regular food, make sure it is within this quantity, so that your metabolic rate is maintained and your nutrient requirements are simultaneously fulfilled. Doesn’t say how much alcohol you can have though…

Fruits and Nuts

ery, greens, and other fresh vegetables usually do not contain more than 100 calories and thus, even if you repeat them twice in a day, they will not contribute to more than your daily calorie requirement.

Grain Snacks Many a times, we think that eating breads, cereals and other grains could increase our calorie intake. But this holds true only if you overeat any of these foods with a combination of high fat oils, butter, cheese, etc. Therefore, if you are consuming grain preparations as snacks, you can make them light and easy to digest. A few of these healthy snacks that are below 100 calories are 1 slice of wheat bread, cornbread, English or blueberry muffin, cooked oatmeal cereals, puffed rice, a few oyster crackers, popped popcorn and Tortilla chips.

Dairy Products Some of the most filling foods that can keep you away from overeating are dairy products like milk, yogurt, cheese and low calorie desserts. You can make enumerable preparations from these and they can be enjoyed in any way possible. As snacks you can consume, whole/reduced fat/fat free/low fat milk and add flavours to make it enjoyable.

Whole milk/fat free/low fat plain or flavoured yogurt once a day is also very healthy and IT contributes less than 100 calories. Regular/reduced fat/fat free/Cottage cheese is the best snack around during evening time. But while consuming desserts, make sure you have half cup of any of these as too much can lead to extra calories in the body.

Fruits as well as nuts top the low calorie snacks list. They are healthy, fresh, delicious and can be eaten absolutely in any way. They contain all important nutrients like vitamins, minerals, proteins, water, etc., required by the human body.

Eat fruits like bananas, apples apricots, cherries, grapes, pear, plantains, strawberries, peaches, plums, oranges, papaya, kiwi, watermelon, pineapple, etc. Nuts include almonds, cashews, peanuts, pecans, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and poppy seeds.

Vegetables Along with fruits, another form of raw food you can consume as snacks are fresh vegetables. Most of these are below 100 calories and include all the necessary nutrients required by the body. Therefore, carrots (raw and cooked), cucumber, lettuce, broccoli, cabbage, potatoes, tomatoes, yams, cel-

Meat and Sea Food Red meat, mutton, pork, etc., are very high in calories that should be controlled. You should restrict it to 1 or ½ oz.

These low calorie snacks can be 1 oz beef, bologna, sausages, roasted beef, chicken breasts, chicken wings, turnkey meat. Sea foods like clams, crabs, halibut, mussels, lobster, salmon, scallops and tuna could also be consumed from ½ to 1.5 oz. daily.

With such a wide variety of 100 calorie snacks mentioned above, I am sure you have made your choices for your diet.

So, don't starve yourself, just make sure you regulate your eating habits and for controlling weight gain effectively.

Spanish Shiraz, Opera Prima ’08 – very nice, and reasonable at around 3.50€

26

Friday, 18th March, 2011 For Sale

Left hand chaise corner sofa.

1 month old, as new (bought in Next in UK). Colour salerno mink. Cost 800 poounds new, will accept 400 euros ONO. La Puebla.

Tel: 868186655 or 634307850.

Wendybaxter2000@yahoo.c o.uk Business Opportunities 10 cold drinks /snack vending machines with sites 39,900 euros.

Excellent cash income, no overhead, operate from home 31,000 euros NETT per year one day p.w. to service.25 Pringle vending machines with sites 14,900 euros 250 euros per week NETT guaranteed, machines and sites avalable individually. 965 326 442 / 659 696 455

Friday, 18th March, 2011

27

‘I’M AN EXPAT – GET ME OUT OF HERE!’ Or…LAS FINAS URBS

By Keith Daniels

Not a typical expat

I moved to Spain 8 years ago. I had no real intention of coming here, but a chance look in an agent’s window in Brighton led to us buying a holiday home on the Costa Blanca.

The holiday home became a permanent home. One of our better decisions. And then I discovered urbanizaciõnes, or to use the English translation, battlefields. They are a concept unknown in Britain and most of the civilised world. Their rules are as obscure as bridge or Ted Rogers’ 3-2-1 (which not surprisingly was originally a Spanish TV show).

An urbanizaciõn, let’s call it an urb to save fiddling with the shift key to get the squiggly thingy on the “õ”, is the world in miniature.

Self governing, like city states from the middle ages, some are democracies, some dictatorships. All have a president.

Most presidents do the job to help others, a few to help themselves. Some spread joy wherever they go, some spread joy whenever they go.

The focal point of an urb is the Annual General Meeting.

This is where residents gather to sit on their hands until someone is cajoled into being president. If someone volunteers for the job, beware.

They probably have an agenda. He or she may have had since childhood an aversion to conservatories, and see this as their opportunity to rid the world, or their bit of it, of these fish tanks adorning the front of a nice Spanish newbuild. Or perhaps close the communal pool for three weeks after someone’s little treasure has done a jobby in it.

An unanticipated problem with living on an urb which can manifest itself at an AGM is accents. Urbs can contain people from all over the UK and Europe. Back in Britain you usually lived with people who talked like you. In an urb you’re with people who might Life on an Urb can be interesting come from Liverpool, Plymouth, or John O’Groats. This can become a problem if how the urb should be run but would prefer that someone you hail from Southampton and the president comes from else actually did it. Some committees are really helpful, and Newcastle. Add to this a Spanish administrator whose will undertake all sorts of jobs, like trimming an absentee English is on a similar level to a budgerigar’s and you can owner’s garden, whether they want it trimmed or not. Others have a problem knowing what’s going on. The Mafia used to can be as pointless as strip poker in a nudist colony. make you an offer you couldn’t refuse: here they make one Living in an urb can be a very pleasant experience, like living in a small village, where everyone knows one another and you can’t understand.

Then we have the committee. These are people who know says “Hola”. Or it can be like “I’m an Expat, Get Me Out of Here!”

It’s the luck of the draw.

THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNITY MEETINGS

Residents meetings are full of fun

It is essential that all owners of a property in Spain take an active role in the decisions made by the Community as, say the people in the know, this is the best way to maintain the value of the property. If they don’t make an effort or organise things so they are represented, then they run the risk of a local clique taking over and making all the fundamental decisions concerning the development.

All owners should be up to date on the running of the Community, should be informed, and should use their vote and even if you live most of your time out of Spain any proprietor can add items to the agenda at meetings, and give instructions for their vote to be used according to their desires.

There are now companies who will do this for you (at a price of course) and owner receives full translations of the minutes of the meetings, as well as any notifications and circulars. We’d say that it’s not a bad idea to have a permanent point of contact and consultation throughout the year to keep an eye on your property – use these services to stay on top of your investment - I found one company that did it for just 75€ per year, I’d rather pay that than go to the meeting!

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

FLYING CARS? MAYBE NOT But what does the future hold for car technology? Spike looks into it…

If you ever want a good laugh, take a few minutes to hop on the Internet and search for some clippings from about a hundred years ago that try to offer up predictions on what kind of cars and cars we would be driving in the 21st century.

It's hilarious to look at drawings of what people thought we would be driving, from flying cars to cars that looked like some sort of messed up combination of bicycles and hot air balloons. If there is one constant when it comes to predictions of future cars, it is this: they are almost always way off the mark and totally wrong. Having said that, let's take a more pragmatic look at what cars of the future might resemble and the different influences that could shape the cars of tomorrow.

First of all, let's get rid of the old cliché about us driving flying cars someday in the future. That is almost certainly not going to

Car of the future - what if it rains?

happen anytime in the next hundred years.

And it's not because of limits of technology, either; sure, we could probably create cars

that really did fly if we wanted or needed to.

The real reason why flying cars will never happen is simple: its safety. Just look at the cars of today and how many of them get into crashes every single day around the world.

And that is when they are limited to just two dimensions of travel! If you added another dimension (up and down) to the options for travel that car drivers have, you would see a massive increase in the amount of crashes, deaths and injuries.

I know what you're going to say: that if technology allowed us to just type or state a destination and have the flying car take us there automatically, and then it would get rid of human error. And yes, that is a valid point.

But the fact of the matter is that technology of that kind does not exist yet, and when it is perfected enough to place in cars, it will likely be extremely expensive. You would probably see an economic disparity between

who was travelling in the new, slick, safe flying cars, and the poorer people who were still bound to drive themselves around in the much less safe two-dimensional cars. Until the technology becomes both possible and cheap, you will probably not see many cars zipping around in the skies.

Besides, as of right now traffic in the skies is regulated by the government and the flight paths and routes for airplanes have to be approved ahead of time by officials who keep track of where everything is flying. If you added cars to the mix, the problems that would face traffic controllers would likely be extreme. So as of right now, the future of high-tech cars and cars is likely to be right here on the ground where they are now.

While flying cars might someday come to pass, you probably shouldn't count on it anytime in the next hundred years or so.

ARE YOU A FUEL FOOL?

With the price of fuel seeming forever on the increase, we thought we’d ask our friendly expert, Lesley Hayes for some tips on how drivers can save some fuel and therefore some cash.

Here’s Leslies top ten tips for cutting down the amount of time you have to fill up.

Tip one: Grab your cars manual and check you have the correct tyre pressure. If not then go and give them a bit of air.

Also be aware many gauges on the forecourt will be incorrect (they just get so much use). So purchase

your own quite inexpensively from any good car supply shop to make sure your tyres are just right.

Tip two: If you are sitting in a traffic jam and are only moving a few feet at a time then turn off your engine and be patient. You may not save huge amounts of petrol but it all adds up.

Tip three: Speeding and stopping wastes petrol, try to ‘drive’ ahead of yourself, that is to say anticipate what the traffic is going to do so you can adjust your speed and stop/start less. This will

hopefully mean you keep your foot off the accelerator therefore cutting down on the amount of petrol your car consumes.

Tip four: Every time you turn on the air-conditioning you increase the amount of petrol your car consumes on average by 5%. So on days you don’t need it make sure it is turned off.

Tip five: Cold engines take more petrol so plan your journeys so you are not driving with a cold engine all the time or if possible walk short journeys rather than use the car. It will not only reduce your petrol bills but may also benefit your health.

Tip six: Obviously by using your car less you will

cut down on how much you spend on petrol. Why not car pool, walk, use public transport if possible or plan your route more. A few years ago there was a petrol strike and as we didn’t know when it would end I started to be very careful with the journeys I did.

Typically a tank of petrol would last a week with a little careful planning it lasted 10 days.

Tip seven Cut your average speed and the time between each visit to the forecourt will be longer. If you were to cut your average speed from 90kmh to around 60kmh it has been estimated you could use around 25% less petrol.

Tip eight: Whenever you open the windows you are increasing the drag on your car, therefore increasing how much petrol your car will need. So keep those windows closed where possible and improve the efficiency of your car.

Tip nine: Check what you have in your boot. All that extra weight increases the amount of petrol your car needs. So if there are things in there you don’t need take them out.

Tip ten: If you are able why not try and convince your boss you can do the work from home.

With the invention of the Internet and improved connections speeds it is possible to do many jobs at home rather than drag yourself into the office.

Hopefully by following these simple tips you’ll save yourself some cash and cut don’t on those harmful co2 emissions.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

ADVICE: Pam had a problem with Google Chrome and wanted advice on AntiVirus software

Q

Dear Richard, I am writing to you for some advice please. Over the last few days I keep having flashed up 'THE FOLLOWING PLUG-IN HAS CRASHED : SHOCKWAVE FLASH'. There was also another similar one as well, but that seems to have disappeared. Initially I thought it was only when I was on Windows live, but it happens when I am on some web sites also. Is this something that needs fixing, or is there a way I can get rid of it?

A

The other bit of advice I would like is, I used to have AVG 2011 (FREE), Super AntiSpyWare, and Malware bytes, on my laptop, but having read an article in one of the free papers about MICROSOFT SECURITY ESSENTIALS, I got rid of the 3 and downloaded Security Essentials. I would be interested to hear from you what you think of it, and if I have done the right thing. Pam

Hi Pam, I assume that you are using Google Chrome as your web browser, you don’t say, but it looks like a Chrome error message. You can deal with the error by making a few minor changes to the shortcut that you click to launch your browser. Just right click on your "Chrome" shortcut icon and choose properties. At the end of your “target” line, place these parameters: --disable-accelerated-video So the target line should now read: chrome.exe --disable-accelerated-video With regards to your antivirus and spyware question, I would totally agree, removing multiple spyware/antivirus tools and replacing with a single tool is an extremely sensible idea, if you have more than one tool performing this type of function you will find that they will fight against each other and usually this has a marked effect on the speed of your computer.

Richard moved to spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!”

ADVICE: Tony wanted to know whether he could use his laptop to send faxes

Q A

Hi Richard, some time ago you mentioned to me that it might be possible to send faxes from my laptop, could you confirm whether this is possible please?

Hi Tony, if your laptop (or computer for that matter) has a built in “modem” then yes its indeed possible to send, and receive, faxes from your machine – you can see a modem port in your computer easily, it looks exactly like a phone point (not to be confused with an Ethernet port that looks like a large phone point). In order to send a fax you need to have two things in place, firstly the item that you want to send, perhaps it’s a document that you have produced yourself in a word processing package or maybe it’s something that you have scanned into your computer (most modern printers have a scanning facility built in nowadays). Secondly you need to have some software that will enable your internal modem to “talk” to the fax machine that you want to send your fax to. This fax software always comes with your computer as part of the operating system, with Windows XP the software is located in the “accessories” folder of the start menu, in Windows Vista and Windows 7 it is located in the “all programs” section of the start menu.

Graham needed advice when he received an unexpected email from Microsoft

Q A

Hi Richard,sorry to trouble you but I received the attached email from Microsoft about my Windows Live Space account closing down – does all this mean that I will not be able to get my E Mails after March 16th 2011 , I have tried to understand it but it goes over my head. Graham.

Hi Graham, the email that you have received is related to your Windows Live Spaces account, not your Hotmail account, although they are closely related so I can understand why you would be concerned. Windows Live Space is a personal blogging area; a blog is a kind of online diary that you can update to let interested people know what you are up to. However it sounds from your email that you are not using it, therefore you can either follow the link in the email to delete the Live Space that you have, or you can just ignore it and Microsoft will close your account automatically on the 16th March. If, however, you do use your Windows Live Space then you need to follow the instructions to move it to WordPress.Com before the closing date, if you are having trouble doing this then just let me know and I can help. Either way, whatever you do, your Hotmail account will not be affected.

FIXED: Bob was having problems hearing people with Skype

Q A

Dear Richard, I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. Every time my daughter rings me from the UK using Skype I cannot hear her, she tells me by email that she can hear me and I can see her video but can’t hear a word, is there a problem with my speakers?

Hi Bob, it’s not immediately clear from your email whether there is a problem with your speakers or not, however I suspect not, there is an easy way to check – does your computer make a noise when it does anything else? Can you hear the music if you put a CD into it? If it is only silent in Skype then the problem is with Skype, if it’s always silent then yes it could be something else. Let’s assume that this problem is related to Skype, there are a couple of things that you can do, firstly try dialling the Skype call test service, you can do this by adding the contact “echo123”, you may find that its already in your contact list. When you call the test service, if you cannot hear anything then the problem is likely to be related to your Skype set up, if you can hear the test service then the problem is more likely to be related to your daughters Skype set up, particularly her microphone settings. If you discover that it is in fact your Skype that’s at fault then you should check the settings in your Skype by clicking on Tools, Options, Audio Settings and changing the items displayed in the speakers section.

Update from Bob: Fantastic, great thanks Richard, I had 3 different options in the speakers section, when I selected the right one I can hear fine!

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

FOOS BACK WITH A BANG! The rockers are preparing to release their seventh studio album, 'Wasting Light' - the follow up to 2007s 'Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace' - on April 11 and at what front man Dave Grohl called their "first official show in about two years", the group introduced revellers to fresh material including 'These Days' and new single 'Rope'.

Produced by Butch Vig and mixed by Alan Moulder, Wasting Light was recorded entirely on analogue tape in the garage of Grohl's home in California's San Fernando Valley. The no computers/no software back to basics approach has resulted in arguably the strongest and most cohesive effort of the band's 15-year-plus career: From the opening one-two punch of "Bridge Burning" and lead single "Rope" to the beautifully bipolar "These Days" to stunning guest spots from Bob Mould ("Dear Rosemary") and Krist Novoselic ("I Should Have Known"), Wasting Light is a singular triumph: a band that's

headlined arenas, stadiums and festivals the world over stripping itself down to the bare essentials and coming up with a world class band's finest hour.

The Foos are one of the biggest rock groups on the planet and front man Dave Grohl is a legend with huge talent.

Not only is he a singer songwriter of consistently brilliant songs, he is an outstanding drummer who played with grunge giants Nirvana.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t generally listen to the band’s music. Speaking at the Shockwaves NME Awards - where he picked up the Godlike Genius award he claimed: "Honestly this is the first time we've made a record that I actually like to listen to. "I haven't listened to Foo Fighters records - the third record ['There Is Nothing Left To Lose'] I listen to a little bit because it reminds me of my home in Virginia - but for the most part, I can't listen to them. This one I've listened to a lot, I like it a lot."

Having heard previews of several tracks we love it too!

TKO FM SCHEDULES TKO FM broadcasts on 91.9, 87.7, 89.9FM, www.tkofm.com, Join us on Facebook! TKO FM 2010 Weekdays 08.00 – 11.00. Breakfast with Andy James 11.00 – 14.00. A.M. To P.M. with Dennis Christian 14.00 – 17.00. Davy Jones Lock In 17.00 – 20.00. The Dynamite Drive Home with Suzy G.

Night Sounds Monday – 20.00 – 23.00 Chill Out With Rachel Angus Tuesday – 20.00 – 23.00 Old School Disco with Andy James Wednesday – 20.00 – 23.00 Reggae and Rocksteady with DJ Princess Thursday 20.00 – 23.00 Smooth Jazz with Rod Lucas Friday – 21.00 – 23.00 Tech House with DJ Javi Ramero

Weekends Sat & Sun . 09.00 – 12.00 Chris Adams Sat & Sun – 12.00 – 15.00 Charly Smart Sat & Sun – 15.00 – 18.00 80s and 90s Show with Rachel Angus Sat 18.00 – 21.00 Soul And Motown with Tony Blackburn Sun 18.00 – 21.00 - Rod Lucas Show Sat & Sun 21.00 – 00.00 Soul And Funky House With DJ Javi

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS Pop Quiz 18th Mar 1 Who had a hit with a song about a showgirl named Lola?

2 Who is the Yorkshire opera singer who appears on The Wright Stuff and has her own show on Classic FM? 3 You can stand under Rihanna’s, if you need to..

4 Which Python star sang Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life?

5 Puppet On A String was a hit for who?

6 This Brit Pop band had hits with Parklife and Boys And Girls 7 Who did The Strand in 1973?

8 Which group sang D.I.S.C.O? 9 I’m Not In Love and I’m Mandy Fly Me were hits or which group?

10 Which teeny bop band of brothers had a hit with Mm Bop? 11 Who had a recent hit with American Boy? 12 He recently rejoined Take That 13 Your LoveI Is King was this singers biggest hit FIND THE KEY WORD AND LISTEN TO CHRIS ASHLEY ON MONDAY MORNINGS BETWEEN 8.00-11AM TO ENTER. CHRIS WILL ASK YOU TO TEXT OR EMAIL IN THE KEY WORD AND THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK’S ANSWER WILL BE ANNOUNCED.

Kate is back!!

The highly original and innovative singer songwriter has announced her new album will be released in May. She has finally regained full control over four of her albums (The Dreaming, Hounds of Love, The Sensual World and The Red Shoes) from her longtime label EMI who subsequently announced an upcoming reissue of the four albums. Bush is scheduled to r e l e a s e "Director's Cut", a compilation album of updated tracks from her two albums "The Sensual World" and "The Red Shoes" on 16 May 2011 with an updated version of "Deeper Understanding" to be released as a single to promote the album.

This, her first released work for six years, is a massive boost for her large legion of fans who must have been wondering if she had retired. Her last album, Ariel, was a collec-

tion of highly original compositions, very much in the style we’ve come to expect. That is to say it was nothing like anything she had produced previously.

Although there are no new tracks scheduled, it also been announced that she is currently working on brand new material for release later this year.

Part of the attraction of Kate Bush is her ability to surprise. Whilst the likes of Madonna have the ability to change styles to fit the zeitgeist, Bush has a l w a y s ploughed her own furrow. Her musical integrity has never been questioned or compromised and the quality of her writing has, until now, not faltered.

For true fans this album and the subsequent new material is a sure sign we are in for some exciting music.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 15 represents G and 25 represents W, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES

QUICKIE

Across 1 Somewhat influenced with dread if one gets married (4) 3 Formal agreement with shrink (8) 9 Professional examination objection (7) 10 Carpenter’s tool seen in interplanetary space (5) 11 Say! It’s time for Herb (5) 12 A woman from New York is out of the country (6) 14 Lets us create a scuffle (6) 16 Country view missing gold (6) 19 Take a chance on a doctor getting caught in a strong wind (6) 21 Egg-shaped old empty space (5) 24 French and Germans agree to create advisory board (5) 25 An opening of rice I made (7) 26 Mix two gins for a stir in America (4,4) 27 Bug in magnate’s programme (4) STANDARD CLUES

Across 1 Damp (5) 4 Centre (5) 7 Terrifying dream (9) 8 Unwell (4) 10 Pugilist (5) 12 Stately court dance (6) 13 Remnant (4) 16 Come to an end (9) 18 Mountainous (5) 19 Indications (5)

Down 1 Negative amount (5) 2 Pub (3) 3 Roman garment (4) 4 Sheep meat (6) 5 Vernacular (7) 6 Digits of the foot (4) 9 Be in charge of (7) 11 Confirm (6) 12 Competition (5) 14 Foundation (5) 15 Lowest singing voice (4) 17 Bird product (3)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Cages, 4 Facts, 6 Era, 7 Prove, 8 Stiff, 10 Kit, 12 Aunt, 14 Oars, 15 Award, 16 Slap, 18 Date, 20 Gym, 22 Snail, 23 Edges, 24 Use, 25 Dense, 26 Throw.

Down: 2 Grown, 3 Seek, 4 Fast, 5 China, 7 Praises, 9 Fastens, 11 Italy, 13 Tap, 14 Odd, 17 Again, 19 Anger, 20 Glue, 21 Meet.

Across 1 Reverential (4) 3 Agreement (8) 9 Complaint (7) 10 Flat surface (5) 11 Aromatic plant (5) 12 Overseas (6) 14 Brawl (6) 16 Central American country (6) 19 Put money on (6) 21 Elliptical (5) 24 Spirit board (5) 25 Opening (7) 26 New York prison (4,4) 27 Midge (4)

Down 1 A party leader has little desire for food (8) 2 One last scrawny tree (5) 4 Prohibit a desperado (6) 5 Get thinner and lighter (5) 6 A monk accommodating graduate in a state (7) 7 Supporters of course need hot drinks for the audience (4) 8 Cancel Royal Engineer’s ding-dong (6) 13 The dirtiest bidet was broken (8) 15 The marine creature is alone, sadly (3-4) 17 Fuss over Northern Ireland’s handsome youth (6) 18 Grumble about Ben catching a flightless bird (6) 20 Have the effrontery to make money (5) 22 It brings tears to your eyes on no one’s return (5) 23 Sticks the first pieces of roughcast on damp surface (4) Down 1 Hunger (8) 2 Jet black (5) 4 Forbid (6) 5 Get thinner (5) 6 US state (7) 7 Golf items (4) 8 Revoke (6) 13 Most lewd (8) 15 Marine mammal (3-4) 17 Handsome young man (6) 18 Lament (6) 20 Impudent aggressiveness (5) 22 Edible bulb (5) 23 Poles (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Incise, 4 Nicks, 8 Cures, 9 Rostrum, 10 Macrame, 11 Zone, 12 Lag, 14 Keen, 15 Away, 18 Sag, 21 Aura, 23 Red hair, 25 Nervous, 26 Nasty, 27 Harem, 28 Labour.

Down: 1 Income, 2 Coracle, 3 Sustains, 4 Nest, 5 Cargo, 6 Summer, 7 Gruel, 13 Gardenia, 16 Alassio, 17 Launch, 19 Grass, 20 Prayer, 22 Rarer, 24 Loom.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Am As Do Ma Me So We 3 letter words Doe Dud Ion Not Par Pud Red Roe Roy Saw

Sir Son 4 letter words Airs Anis Dirt Para Shaw 5 letter words Abeam Abhor Amass Balsa Basic Dinar Dolly Erase Metre Mores

Ounce Saint Scrim Snood Spasm Stare Steno Water 6 letter words Leaned Sonata 7 letter words Dongles Outgrow 8 letter words Creditor Earldoms

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Celoso (7) 5 Pasos (5) 8 Barn (7) 9 Pearl (5) 10 Income (5) 11 Witness (7) 12 Arquero (6) 14 Deportes (6) 17 Albaricoque (7) 19 Ensalada (5) 22 Sheep (5) 23 Cuellos (7) 24 Arriba (indicando situación) (5) 25 Duchas (7) Down 1 To play (5)

2 Otra vez (5) 3 Manejar (máquina) (7) 4 Liso (terreno, superficie) (6) 5 Toads (5) 6 Más temprano (7) 7 Estaciones (partes del año) (7) 12 Poppy (7) 13 Postman (7) 15 Aisle (aeroplane, theatre) (7) 16 Palos (de poco grosor) (6) 18 Lesson (5) 20 Dejar (5) 21 Escritorios (muebles) (5)

33

Friday, 18th March, 2011 Across 7 What is the name of the king of the fairies in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream? (6) 8 What name is given to the upper surface of the mouth that separates the oral and nasal cavities? (6) 10 Which plant of the buttercup family typically has brightly coloured flowers and deeply divided leaves? (7) 11 What is the rearmost part of a ship known as? (5) 12 What is the coloured portion of the eye called? (4) 13 What name is given to a conduit for carrying off drainage water and waste matter? (5) 17 What word means ‘to be persistently and disturbingly present, especially in someone’s mind’? (5) 18 What is the first name of the actress who starred as Rose DeWitt Bukater in the 1997 film Titanic? (4) 22 Which US male vocal group’s hits include Back Stabbers and Love Train?

(5) 23 Which 80s pop star’s real name is Stuart Goddard? (4,3) 24 Which form of punch is made of sweetened milk or cream mixed with eggs and usually alcoholic liquor? (3,3) 25 What name is given to forms of words used as magical charms or incantations? (6)

Quiz Word

Down 1 What was Admiral Nelson first name? (7) 2 Which is the first book of the Old Testament? (7) 3 What is another name for an automaton? (5)

SUDOKU

4 According to Irish legend, which female spirit’s wailing warns of a death in a house? (7) 5 In Greek mythology where was the abode of the spirits of the dead? (5) 6 The powdered leaves of which tropical shrub is used as a dye to colour the hair and decorate the body? (5) 9 What name is given to a plant lasting for three seasons or more?

(9) 14 What is the name of the bass woodwind instrument of the oboe family, with a doubled-back tube over four feet long, played with a double reed? (7) 15 What name is given to a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, as told by Jesus in the Gospels? (7) 16 What was the Roman name for the Isle of Wight? (6) 19 In golf, what name is given to a score of one stroke over par at a hole? (5) 20 Which ballroom dance that originated in Buenos Aires, is characterised by marked rhythms and postures and abrupt pauses? (5) 21 What was the stage name of Adolph Arthur Marx? (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Every week we’ll be covering a different topic to help readers enlarge their Spanish vocabulary. This week we start with: Esta semana – Animales - This week - Animals Busca estos animales en la sopa de letras. Look for these animals in the wordsearch

1. An emu cannot fly?

2. A Dowager is the widow of a peer or a baronet?

3. Julie Andrews was the original Eliza Doolittle in My Fair lady?

4. Fleas are bloodsuckers?

5. Wyoming is on the Canadian border of the USA? 6. Two is a Prime number?

7. Quaker is another name for a Mormon?

8. Top Eastenders totty Wendy Richard is the cousin of top religious singing superstar Cliff Richard?

9. Silly mid on is a fielding position in cricket?

10. Spartacus was a great Roman general?

11. Edinburgh is further East than Carlisle?

12. Kangaroos are only an inch long at birth?

13. Warner Brothers originally wanted Ronald Reagan to play the part of Rick Blaine in Casablanca?

ANSWERS 1. True 2. True 3. True 4. True 5. False 6. True 7.

False 8. False 9. True 10. False 11. False 12. True 13. True

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 7 Marram, 8 Pacino, 10 Theseus, 11 Ingot, 12 Nana, 13 Basin, 17 La Paz, 18 Luke, 22 Evans, 23 Average, 24 Asthma, 25 Belize.

Down: 1 Smetana, 2 Orleans, 3 Gases, 4 Pacific, 5 Ringo, 6 Aorta, 9 Islamabad, 14 Ransoms, 15 Dukakis, 16 Referee, 19 Pecan, 20 Waltz, 21 Fever.

BALLENA

LIEBRE

BORREGO

OSO

CABALLO

PAJARO

CANGREJO

PERRO

CARACOL

PEZ

CERDO

RATA

CONEJO

RATON

CUCARACHA

TIBURON

DELFIN

TIGRE

ELEFANTE

TORTUGA

GATO

VACA

LEON

ZORRO

Empareja estas palabras para animales - Match the Spanish and English animal words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

gato, perro, caballo, raton, rata, cucaracha, leon, tigre, elefante,

Soduko

a. bird b. lion c. cat d. elephant e. cockroach f. dog g. horse i. rat j. tortoise

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

pajaro, tortuga, conejo, vaca, borrego, cerdo, cangrejo, caracol, oso,

Span - Eng

k. mouse l. tiger m. crab n. bear o. rabbit p. snail q. fox r. cow s. whale

Quizword

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

tiburon, delfin, ballena, pez, liebre, zorro.

t. sheep u. hare v. fish w. pig x. shark z. dolphin

Answers: 1c, 2f, 3g, 4k, 5i, 6e, 7b, 8l, 9d, 10a, 11j, 12o, 13r, 14t, 15w, 16m, 17p, 18n, 19x, 20z, 21s, 22v, 23u, 24q

Kidz Corner TRUE OR FALSE?

OS OHV P B CA A A L CT K L K E A E OGQNHOI L OA UT CRRE HOE CDE E RA CA RRGV L E L A RB OT A L OE F OI T K L RE RNUG RGCRNNT OA A CE RGX OA RA A ORK B CZ CRA W OOT F B A RX A UNOT A R Z V E A J A Z UDCONE J O A L GA T OL Y B E V Y L Y X E UP DK NE L J I L X L I G CA NGRE J OOE T F B J U Z B N C ML OC A R A C I QY OE HZ UP P T P Y OHZ NA S V P V RT A P P QT GF A C

Fill It In

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

Horoscopes Dear Tia Maria.

My boyfriend and I split up recently; I've never felt so depressed in my life. I still talk to him now and then, but it really hurts because I want him back so much. I love him with all my heart. Before we broke up he asked me to marry him. I was so shocked I said I'd think about it. He then turned round and left me. How can I get him back? I can't live without him in my life. Please help.

GETTING HELP IS IMPORTANT

Anonymous, Torrevieja Tia Maria says: Sorry to hear you have been through so much, you say you feel very depressed at the moment, have you been to see the doctor? This is important as he can help give you the best advice to deal with your depression.

Also some counselling might be helpful as I feel that you are quite confused at the moment. I wonder if your boyfriend was committed to you, as you say he asked you to marry him, but you

were shocked, why did he then walk out on you. You have to be honest to him and yourself, you say you still talk, so why not ask him "why did you walk out when

I said no to your proposal, I needed time to make sure it was what I wanted and that I was ready for the responsibility that marriage brings, i.e. if we wanted children,

would we buy a home?"

Maybe your boyfriend was not really ready for marriage, only you and him can resolve this, only he can give you the answers you need. For now you have to work on yourself. Start going out with your friends; make a new social life for yourself.

You will be fine; you can't base your life on just one man. Why is he still in contact with you? Has he got on with his life? Is he seeing someone else? Find out the answers to these questions, but then move on, you can't live in the past, you deserve to find happiness and love, don't waste anymore time on what might have been. Do you really want someone who can drop you just like that? You have cried enough, stop punishing yourself, he's just not worth it. Find out what you need and then go for it, and if necessary, show him that you don't need him, and you're not going to just sit at home and waiting for his call. Get out there girl and live. I hope this helps you in some way

100 YEARS OF INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY International Women's Day was celebrated in Spain with a multitude of events happening all over the country to mark the economic, political and social achievements of women.

This year Spanish prime minister, Jos茅 Luis Rodr铆guez Zapatero, presided over a celebration of women's achievements, but the event was marred by the death the day before of Fuente el Saz de Jarama, yet another victim of domestic violence.

Zapatero presented medals for Promoting the Value of Equality, posthumously to Susana Olmo, a journalist who died on February 1st.

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 This week is highlighted by the support you receive from an active partner. Pure facts and data are the currency of the moment.

Colleagues are brimming with ideas for you.

Digesting all of them, however, is a near impossibility. The trick is to sift through everything that comes your way and select just exactly what you need.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 This week you have a sense of floating free from the earthly bonds that you've felt been dragging you down. Don't even ask what it means. Logic and magic have nothing to do with each other. Let events wash over you now, and explain it all later on in any way that makes sense.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Your flexibility and patience will help you tolerate an insufferable situation. Being stubborn will only fan the flames. The reason for your anger will become apparent once you listen to your heart. Once your plans are firmly in place, romance may begin to happen. You'll be given every opportunity to grow as a person.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Domestic adjustments will be enabled by your ability to bounce back from any situation. An intimate moment may suddenly get too close for comfort but go with your heart. There may be too much talking around you. Attend to your inner needs. Meditation, plants and pets will reconnect you with your role in the physical world.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Challenges will motivate your spirit this week. You'll feel magnetized and ready to take on any professional or personal obstacles that stand in your way. Plan to do something special with the family. Ignore people who are trying to lead you astray.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 You will have an upsurge of your positive energy flow. Recently you have felt as if something was holding you back this week, everything will click. Your good mood will be highly contagious, others will respond. You'll be everywhere at once, moving so quickly, that people might miss you, if they blink.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Keep yourself on track. It's difficult to stay focused when your current fixation on details may have you spinning your wheels.

Try to stay on course despite the temptation to run around in circles. The fact that you're suddenly very popular does nothing to help with your focus.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 You'll have plenty of ideas this week, but you must be careful not to take on too much.

Less is best this week. Arguments will evolve if you are overly opinionated. Secret information will aid you and hard work will pay off.

Your concern with financial security will prompt you to find out more about investments.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 This week is highlighted by your ability to see past the immediate and understand other's motivations. Choose your projects carefully and do them well instead of saying yes to everyone and doing an inferior job. You shouldn't rush any big decisions, this week.

Time will be on your side. The longer you wait to decide, the better.

NEED HELP? Comisi贸n para la investigaci贸n de malos tratos a mujeres (Research Comission for Violence Against Women) Tel: 900 100 009 Monday through Friday from 9:00 to 21:00

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Your ability to transform information and data into a valuable opportunity is important this week. Take the time you need to streamline procedures and improve techniques. Once you do, you'll be able to reap rewards beyond your expectations.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 You will have high expectations of someone that may dwindle as the week winds down.

You may feel angry, but patience is what will bring you results. You need to look at the situation from different perspectives.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Teamwork is key this week & your ability to get everyone involved in your project. The resistance you feel from others will grow stronger if you apply unnecessary pressure.

Keep discussions on track and allow others to express their views. Listen to them very carefully. Try to create an atmosphere of trust.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

WHAT’S ON THE TELLY..?

COMIC RELIEF 2011 BBC 1 MARCH 18TH AT 7:00PM

Emmerdale

Coronation Street

EastEnders

ITV1 Thursday, March 17th, 2011 9:00pm to 9:30pm Aaron urges Hazel to watch Jackson's video diary.

Declan has some bad news for Nicola and Rodney. Carl vows to help Jimmy regain his memory.

ITV1 Friday, March 18th, 2011 8:30pm to 9:30pm Liz is shocked to hear about Becky's crime and the reasons behind it. Maria's attempts to warn Tracy about Frank have serious repercussions for Carla. David and Kylie agree to a double wedding with Graeme and Xin.

BBC 1 Monday, March 21st, 2011 9:00pm to 9:30pm Another visit to the residents of Albert Square, for a regular dose of drama, excitement and tears.

38

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Friday 18th March 00:35 This Week 01:25 Exposed: The Dark Arts Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 Limbo Babies 04:55 Birth of the British Novel 05:55 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 The Smokehouse 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Horrible Histories 17:30 All Over the Place 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Comic Relief Does Glee Club 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 Comic Relief 2011 23:30 BBC News 23:55 Regional News and Weather

Bitesize History 06:30 GCSE Bitesize Business Studies 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:40 Little Robots 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney’s Latin America 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Muddle Earth 08:45 Eliot Kid 09:00 The Sparticle Mystery 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Numberjacks 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:25 Big Barn Farm 10:40 Little Human Planet 10:45 Timmy Time 10:55 3rd & Bird 11:05 Postman Pat: SDS 11:20 Pingu 11:25 64 Zoo Lane 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Meerkat Manor 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Restoration Roadshow 16:00 Flog It! Ten of the Best 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads

19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 20:00 Britain by Bike 20:30 An Island Parish 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners’ World 22:00 African Railway 23:00 Great British Railway Journeys 23:30 Comic Relief 2011 ITV 00:35 Word 01:05 01:30 03:30 04:25 04:50 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:30

ITV1 Meridian00:35 The Last Grimefighters The Zone The Jeremy Kyle Show Charities in Crisis: Tonight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather House Gift The Alan Titchmarsh Show Meridian Weather Midsomer Murders The Chase Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Die Another Day

I, ROBOT

BBC2 00:20 Zimbabwe’s Forgotten Children 01:20 BBC News 01:30 BBC World News America 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 Secondary Schools: GCSE

When a top scientist from the US Robotics corporation turns up dead, Detective Del Spooner (Will Smith) suspects the involvement of a prototype that may not be bound by the laws that govern its brethren.

Smith gives a charismatic performance in a blockbuster that succeeds chiefly because of the use of CGI - the robots are seamlessly blended into the human environment

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Die Another Day CHAN 4 00:05 Friday Night Dinner 00:35 The Ricky Gervais Show 01:10 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 01:40 CTRL MX 02:15 On Track 02:40 The People’s Supermarket 03:35 Dispatches: Britain’s Secret Fat Cats 04:25 Hill Street Blues 05:15 Without a Trace 06:00 Reaper 06:45 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:30 The Morning Line 10:30 According to Jim 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage Bites 13:25 Cheltenham Festival 17:15 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons

19:30 20:00 20:20 20:25 20:30 21:00 22:00

Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Channel 4 Racing 4thought.tv Planning Outlaws Relocation: Phil Down Under I, Robot

Channel 5 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Colin and Justin’s How Not to Decorate 05:45 Nick’s Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Colin and Justin’s How Not to Decorate 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:10 Jenifer 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Vets in Action 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Law & Order 23:55 NCIS

39

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Saturday 19th March 00:05 Comic Relief 2011 02:00 Weatherview 03:35 The Record Review 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 A Question of Sport 14:30 Outtake TV 15:00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 20:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 23:00 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day BBC2 00:05 Newsnight 00:40 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:50 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:50 Murder in Mind 03:15 Close 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Rastamouse

08:00 Basil and Barney’s Game Show 08:30 Arthur 09:00 Sam & Mark’s Guide to Dodging Disaster 09:30 Project Parent 10:00 Dick & Dom’s Funny Business 11:00 Trapped Ever After 11:30 OOglies 11:45 Copycats 12:15 My Life: Big Brother 12:45 Deadly 60 Bite Size 12:50 MOTD Kickabout 13:05 Diagnosis Murder 13:50 The Man from Laramie 15:30 Into the West 17:00 Churches: How to Read Them 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Priceless Antiques Roadshow 18:45 Escape to the Country 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Dad’s Army 21:00 The Art of Tommy Cooper 21:30 The Story of Variety with Michael Grade 22:30 Christopher and His Kind ITV

00:30 01:40 03:40 04:30 06:30 07:00 08:25 10:25 12:45 13:45 14:40 14:44 14:45 15:15 17:15 18:55 19:05 19:20 19:50 20:20 21:35 23:05

Take Me Out The Zone In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV Coronation Street This Morning: Saturday Monk ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather You’ve Been Framed!

Doc Hollywood Evan Almighty Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill’s TV Burp Ant & Dec’s Push the Button Take Me Out Casino Royale

CHAN 4 00:10 Rude Tube: Ultimate Champions 01:10 10 O’Clock Live 02:10 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 02:40 Mercury Prize Sessions 02:55 CTRL MX

CASINO ROYALE Daniel Craig effortlessly makes James Bond his own as the 21st movie in the series goes back to basics for a resoundingly entertaining spy adventure. GoldenEye director Martin Campbell injects some Bourne-style grit into the proceedings, upping the violence content (the opening sequence, shot in grainy black and white, is particularly brutal).

03:20 My Name Is Earl 04:05 Modern Toss 04:30 Without a Trace 05:15 Gentleman’s Agreement 06:50 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 The Track and Field Show 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:50 Friends 10:25 4Music Favourites: Nicole Scherzinger 10:55 The Beckhams: Real Stories 11:55 Glee 12:55 Great British Hairdresser 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 The Secret Supper Club 17:20 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 19:25 The Political Slot 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 River Cottage Every Day 21:00 Seven Ages of Britain 22:05 The Happening 23:50 Stand Up for the Week CHANN 5 00:55 Cops in Crisis

01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Animal Rescue Squad 05:45 Nick’s Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:10 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:25 Milkshake Monkey 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:45 Igam Ogam 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Little Lodgers 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Play!

09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 The Family Recipe 11:05 UEFA Europa League Highlights 12:10 The Gadget Show 13:10 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Jane Doe: How to Fire Your Boss 15:55 Mona Lisa Smile 18:05 While You Were Sleeping 20:10 5 News Weekend 20:15 NCIS 21:05 CSI: Grissom’s Greatest 22:05 CSI: NY 23:05 CSI: Miami

40

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Sunday 20th March 00:05 Comic Relief 2011 02:00 Weatherview 03:35 The Record Review 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 A Question of Sport 14:30 Outtake TV 15:00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 20:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 23:00 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 23:30 National Lottery Update BBC2 00:05 Newsnight 00:40 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:50 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:50 Murder in Mind 03:15 Close 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots

07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Basil and Barney’s Game Show 08:30 Arthur 09:00 Sam & Mark’s Guide to Dodging Disaster 09:30 Project Parent 10:00 Dick & Dom’s Funny Business 11:00 Trapped Ever After 11:30 OOglies 11:45 Copycats 12:15 My Life: Big Brother 12:45 Deadly 60 Bite Size 12:50 MOTD Kickabout 13:05 Diagnosis Murder 13:50 The Man from Laramie 15:30 Into the West 17:00 Churches: How to Read Them 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Priceless Antiques Roadshow 18:45 Escape to the Country 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Dad’s Army 21:00 The Art of Tommy Cooper 21:30 The Story of Variety with Michael Grade 22:30 Christopher and His Kind ITV

00:30 01:40 03:40 04:30 06:30 07:00 08:25 10:25 12:45 13:45 14:40 14:44 14:45 15:15 17:15 18:55 19:05 19:20 19:50 20:20 21:35 23:05

Take Me Out The Zone In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV Coronation Street This Morning: Saturday Monk ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather You’ve Been Framed!

Doc Hollywood Evan Almighty Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill’s TV Burp Ant & Dec’s Push the Button Take Me Out Casino Royale

CHAN 4 00:10 Rude Tube: Ultimate Champions 01:10 10 O’Clock Live 02:10 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 02:40 Mercury Prize Sessions 02:55 CTRL MX

DEATH RACE Privatised prisons make a killing forcing inmates into pay-per-view car races to the death in director Paul WS Anderson's bluntly violent take on the future for extreme sports and reality TV. Jason Statham consolidates his action-hero credentials as ex-Nascar champion Jensen Ames, who's framed for murder to become a pawn in the machinations of sadistic warden Hennessey (Joan Allen), until he sets his own escape agenda.

03:20 My Name Is Earl 04:05 Modern Toss 04:30 Without a Trace 05:15 Gentleman’s Agreement 06:50 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 The Track and Field Show 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:50 Friends 10:25 4Music Favourites: Nicole Scherzinger 10:55 The Beckhams: Real Stories 11:55 Glee 12:55 Great British Hairdresser 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 The Secret Supper Club 17:20 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 19:25 The Political Slot 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 River Cottage Every Day 21:00 Seven Ages of Britain 22:05 The Happening 23:50 Stand Up for the Week CHANN 5 00:55 Cops in Crisis

01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Animal Rescue Squad 05:45 Nick’s Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:10 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:25 Milkshake Monkey 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:45 Igam Ogam 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Little Lodgers 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Play!

09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 The Family Recipe 11:05 UEFA Europa League Highlights 12:10 The Gadget Show 13:10 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Jane Doe: How to Fire Your Boss 15:55 Mona Lisa Smile 18:05 While You Were Sleeping 20:10 5 News Weekend 20:15 NCIS 21:05 CSI: Grissom’s Greatest 22:05 CSI: NY 23:05 CSI: Miami

41

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Monday 21st March 00:25 Stand Up for Comic Relief 00:55 Reggie Perrin 01:55 Lead Balloon 02:30 Faulks on Fiction 03:30 Holby City 04:30 Romancing the Stone: The Golden Ages of British Sculpture 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 17:00 The Big Performance 17:30 Blue Peter 17:55 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The Big Squeeze: Panorama 22:00 Waking the Dead 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Mrs Brown’s Boys BBC2 00:00 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:00 MotoGP 02:30 The Blue Tower 04:00 BBC News 04:30 The Record Europe 05:00 BBC News

05:30 06:00 07:00 07:10 07:25 07:40 07:50 08:00 08:25 08:30 08:45 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:10 10:25 10:40 10:45 10:55 11:05 11:20 11:25 11:45 12:05 12:35 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:45 15:30 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 Mouth 19:00 19:30

The Super League Show Close Finley the Fire Engine Zigby The Large Family Little Robots Rastamouse Barney’s Barrier Reef Newsround Muddle Earth Eliot Kid The Sparticle Mystery LazyTown Numberjacks The Koala Brothers Big Barn Farm Little Human Planet Timmy Time 3rd & Bird Postman Pat: SDS Pingu 64 Zoo Lane Waybuloo In the Night Garden Meerkat Manor Daily Politics GMT with George Alagiah Diagnosis Murder To Buy or Not to Buy Restoration Roadshow Flog It! Helicopter Heroes Pointless Put Your Money Where Your Is Eggheads Royal Upstairs Downstairs

20:00 Nicolas Sarkozy: President Bling Bling?

21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 22:00 The Secret War on Terror 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:15 Union 01:10 03:00 05:00 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00

Anglo-Welsh Cup Rugby The Zone Highlander ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather 60 Minute Makeover The Alan Titchmarsh Show Meridian Weather Midsomer Murders The Chase Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Lakes Coronation Street Law & Order: UK ITV News at Ten and

LAW & ORDER: UK A pregnant junior doctor is found beaten to death in a hospital car park, and her boyfriend Joe Nash becomes the prime suspect when he cannot provide an alibi. Brooks and Devlin begin to think Nash is having an affair with his therapist, but what initially seems like a crime of passion unravels into a conspiracy involving senior government officials, with Steel and Phillips risking their careers to find the truth

Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Real Crime with Mark Austin: Yvonne Fletcher - Justice Betrayed

from Hell 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 Heston’s Chocolate Factory Feast C5

Chan 4 01:25 The NME Awards 2011 02:45 The Strangest Hotel in Britain 03:40 The Family 04:50 Without a Trace 05:35 Reaper 06:25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:55 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:20 The Hoobs 08:10 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:05 Frasier 09:35 Friends 10:05 Supernanny USA 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 Relocation, Relocation 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 The TV Book Club 13:30 Arizona Raiders 15:10 Cookery School 16:10 Countdown 16:55 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches: Train Journeys

00:10 Knock Off 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Your Sport 05:05 How Not to Decorate 05:50 Meals in Moments 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Ike: Countdown to D-Day 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Romeo Must Die

42

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Tuesday 22nd March 00:05 Late Kick Off 00:35 A Bronx Tale 02:30 Silk 03:30 Romancing the Stone: The Golden Ages of British Sculpture 04:30 Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 17:00 Dead Gorgeous 17:30 Blue Peter 17:55 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Silk 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Neighbourhood Watched BBC2 00:20 Cabaret 02:20 An Island Parish 02:50 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 The Bottom Line 05:00 Primary Schools: Ways of

Talking - Persuading, Explaining, Instructing 05:30 Once Upon a Time 06:15 Hansel and Gretel 06:30 Copyk@tz Beware 06:45 Cashk@tz 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney’s Barrier Reef 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Muddle Earth 08:45 Eliot Kid 09:00 The Sparticle Mystery 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Numberjacks 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:25 Big Barn Farm 10:40 Little Human Planet 10:45 Timmy Time 10:55 3rd & Bird 11:05 Postman Pat: SDS 11:20 Pingu 11:25 64 Zoo Lane 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Meerkat Manor 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Restoration Roadshow 16:00 Flog It! 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 20:00 Wonders of the Universe 21:00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 22:00 Bible’s Buried Secrets 23:00 Have I Got Old News for You 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:35 River Monsters 01:35 The Zone 03:35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Grimefighters 21:00 Lion Country 22:00 Caroline Quentin: A Passage Through India 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and

SUPERSIZE VS SUPERSKINNY KIDS New series. Dr Christian Jessen and dietician Ursula Philpot try to solve eating problems among the UK's children, in light of claims that one in every six of them is obese.

They also try to tackle anorexia, which is reported to have doubled among youngsters over the past decade.

Weather 23:35 Thirteen

22:00 Katie: My Beautiful Friends 23:00 Lily Allen: From Riches to Rags

CH4 5 00:05 The Event 01:05 Russian Standard Originals Presents 01:35 4Play: Diagram of the Heart 01:50 European Poker Tour 02:45 Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day 03:35 Royal Deaths and Diseases 04:30 Codex 05:25 The Bible: A History 06:20 Chrono-Perambulator 06:35 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 07:00 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:25 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:05 Frasier 09:35 Friends 10:05 Supernanny USA 11:00 Brothers & Sisters 11:55 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Operation Amsterdam 15:05 Cookery School 16:10 Countdown 16:55 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny Kids

00:20 Death Race 02:20 SuperCasino 05:05 The FBI Files 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Heart of a Stranger 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Extraordinary Dogs 21:00 Tutankhamun: The Mystery Revealed 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: Miami 23:55 CSI: NY

43

Friday, 18th March, 2011

Wednesday 23rd March 00:20 Jobless 01:25 See Hear 01:55 Human Planet 02:55 When Teenage Meets Old Age 03:55 New Novelists: 12 of the Best from the Culture Show 04:55 British Olympic Dreams 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 12:30 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 17:00 Trade Your Way to the USA 17:30 MI High 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 The Boat That Guy Built 21:00 Waterloo Road B2 00:20 Storyville - American Idol: Reagan 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 British Olympic Dreams 05:00 Secondary Schools: Belief File - Test of Time 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine

07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:40 Little Robots 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney’s Barrier Reef 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Muddle Earth 08:45 Eliot Kid 09:00 The Sparticle Mystery 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Numberjacks 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:25 Big Barn Farm 10:40 Little Human Planet 10:45 Timmy Time 10:55 3rd & Bird 11:05 Postman Pat: SDS 11:20 Pingu 11:25 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 The Budget 2011 16:30 Flog It! Travels Around Britain: Rural Crafts 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 Great British Food Revival 22:00 The Truth About Lions 23:00 Mock the Week Again 23:30 Newsnight 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Budget Statement by the

Chancellor of the Exchequer 23:40 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:50 Would I Lie to You?

01:25 The Zone 03:25 Crossing Jordan 04:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:20 The Chancellor’s Budget - An ITV News Special 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Unforgettable Sid James 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Mercury Rising

01:15 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:15 FIS Freestyle World Ski Championships 02:45 The Grid 03:10 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:40 Sailing 04:05 Ironman Triathlon 05:00 Triathlon ITU World Championship Series Magazine 05:55 Full Metal Challenge 06:55 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:20 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:05 Frasier 09:35 Friends 10:05 Supernanny USA 11:00 Brothers & Sisters 11:55 Country House Rescue 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Kipps 15:05 Cookery School 16:10 Countdown 16:55 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny Kids 22:00 Jamie’s Dream School 23:00 The Model Agency

C$

C5

00:05 The Big C 00:45 School of Comedy

00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

ITV

EMERGENCY BIKERS Documentary providing an insight into the work of emergency service bikers in Birmingham and Essex, who use cameras fitted to their motorcycles and vest-mounted recording gear to capture all the action in the field. The medics rush to help an 11-year-old who has been hit by a car, and the police squad encounters a driver in possession of a potentially lethal weapon.

01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 The FBI Files 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Flood: a River’s Rampage 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Starlight: For the Children 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

Thursday 24th March 00:20 Shattered Glass 01:50 Weatherview 01:55 Country Tracks 02:50 Toughest Place to Be a Midwife 03:50 Baking Made Easy 04:20 The Boat That Guy Built 04:50 Romancing the Stone: The Golden Ages of British Sculpture 05:50 Panorama 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 17:00 Prank Patrol 17:30 Animals at Work 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Haydock 22:00 My Big Fat Fake Wedding: Panorama 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Budget Response 23:40 Question Time BB2 00:20 Budget Statement by the Chancellor of the Exchequer 00:25 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:25 BBC News 01:30 BBC World News America

02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 05:00 Secondary Schools: Taking Issue 06:00 Belief File: Sikhism and Buddhism 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:40 Little Robots 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney’s Barrier Reef 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Muddle Earth 08:45 Eliot Kid 09:00 The Sparticle Mystery 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Numberjacks 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:25 Big Barn Farm 10:40 Little Human Planet 10:45 Timmy Time 10:55 3rd & Bird 11:05 Postman Pat: SDS 11:20 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 See Hear 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Restoration Roadshow 16:00 Flog It!

16:45 17:30 18:15 Mouth 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30

Helicopter Heroes Pointless Put Your Money Where Your Is Eggheads Royal Upstairs Downstairs Windfarm Wars A Farmer’s Life for Me The British at Work The Grumpy Guide to Work Newsnight

ITV 01:40 The Zone 03:45 Perfect Strangers 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Too Old to Be a Mum?: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Monroe 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather

WINDFARM WARS

New series. Documentary following global windfarm developer Rachel Ruffle, who faces opposition to her plans for the Den Brook Windfarm in Devon, featuring nine 120m-high turbines in a valley 4.5 miles from Dartmoor National Park.

23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Gone in Sixty Seconds

21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny Kids 22:00 Love Thy Neighbour 23:00 10 O’Clock Live

C4 C5 00:05 Lily Allen: From Riches to Rags 01:10 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:30 4Play: Jamie Woon 01:45 4Play: Emin 02:00 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 02:15 4Play: Imelda May 02:30 The Frontier House 03:25 The Battle of Hood and Bismarck 04:55 Belle Starr 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Treacle People 07:20 The Hoobs 08:10 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:05 Frasier 09:35 Friends 10:10 Supernanny USA 11:00 Brothers & Sisters 11:55 The Restoration Man 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Good Morning, Miss Dove 15:05 Cookery School 16:10 Countdown 16:55 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv

00:55 Poker 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 The FBI Files 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Mio Mao 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Rough Guide to Adventures 16:25 Claire 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 The Blasters 22:00 High Plains Drifter

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

SPORT ON THE BOX All the top sport on TV in your Good News ‘paper

Moyes is trying to stop the rot

FOOTBALL 13:30 Tottenham v West Ham United Barclays Premier League Sky Sports 2 (13:30-15:30) 16:00 Manchester United v Bolton Wanderers Barclays Premier League Setanta Sports 1 (16:00-19:30 Ireland Only) 18:00 Everton v Fulham Barclays Premier League ESPN (17:45-20:45) 22:00 Atletico Madrid v Real Madrid Spanish La Liga Sky Sports 4 (22:00-00:00)

GOLF 13:00 Day 4 Sicilian Golf Open Sky Sports 3 (13:00-19:00)

LONG BALLS

All the action from the Premier & La Liga

UP FOR THE CUP! – Unless you support Arsenal of course…

By Malcolm Palmer First a round-up of the completed Champions’ League matches. Arsene Wenger left his brains behind at Stanstead, and his side tried to defend their narrow home lead against Barcelona, until Messi poked one in, to nobody’s surprise.

The Gunners got one back when they finally twigged that you need to attack the Catalan team, but then the referee’s crass decision to expel Van Persie helped Barça to a result they probably deserved.

Arsenal’s neighbours did wonders to hang on to Peter Crouch’s one goal advantage and send Milan crashing out, while Valencia were victims of a non-existent foul when they lost to Polyglot ‘German’ side Schalke 04, for whom Peruvian winger Jefferson Farfán was tremendous. When the ref stood at the entrance to the tunnel as the game finished, I think he was waiting

for his guide-dog. But watch out for Shakhtar Donetsk, the first Ukrainian (half Brazilian!) side to make the quarter finals when they hammered Roma.

In what my brother unkindly refers to as the ‘Losers’ League’ Villareal made a giant step towards beating Bayer Leverkusen, with their three away goals, whilst neither Liverpool nor Man City gave good first leg accounts of themselves.

No Premier League games this weekend, so spotlight in England falls on the Championship race and the FA Cup. Queens Park Rangers look to be cantering home, helping themselves with a disputed penalty against struggling fellow Londoners Palace, whilst the rest seem to be faltering, Swansea going down at Derby and neither Leeds nor Forest scoring a goal, though it has to be said that the latter were up against the world’s greatest club, (not universally acknowledged!)

Doncaster Rovers.

In the cup, Bolton won away at Brum, and then Arsenal departed from their third competition in three weeks when Rooney and Da Silva scored to put Manchester United into the semi-finals. Stoke sprung a mild surprise by ditching the improving West Ham, to make their first semi-final since 1972. Then Man City ensured a semi-final against their mighty neighbours by beating Reading 1-0, Micah Richards doing the honours after a Silva corner.

Here the gap at the top narrowed to five points when, after Real Madrid had cantered home against Hercules, Barcelona, with a tougher assignment, could only draw in Sevilla. The bottom of the table is looking increasingly crowded, with any three from about eight to plummet into the second division. Just about everybody except Hercules got a result, the most remarkable being Osasuna’s 4-0 thrashing of hapless Valencia, still unrecovered after their Champions’ League reverse.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

SPORTS ROUND-UP England’s games this coming week are as Follows March 19th Bangladesh Vs. South Africa 04.30am Quarter Finals start on the 23rd March To follow all the action and keep up to date log on to the following web site. http://cricket.yahoo.com/

With Mick Hardy from Kidease SPORT THIS WEEK

he closed with a 76 to end on 4 over he has now gone 22 events without a win.

This week the tour moves on to Palm Harbour in Florida for the Transitions Championship we have a strong field. Also this weekend we have the Men’s European tour is back in action in Italy for the Sicilian Open

Cycling

Rugby Union This is it final weekend for this year’s Six Nations and everything to play for England travel to Ireland to try and win the grand slam. After last Sundays game against Scotland things will have to improve for do this. At the other end of the table Scotland are at home to Italy in the battle for the wooden spoon and after Italy’s great performance on Saturday against France it will not be an easy game for them. In the other match it sees Wales travel to Paris to play the wounded France in a game that France will not want to get beat so fireworks all round. So this Saturday the action starts on BBC at 15.30 with the Scotland game than at 18.00 Ireland Vs. England and ending we the France game at 20.45 so a long day in front of the box and lots to play for.

Weekend Fixtures Sat 19th Mar Scotland Vs. Italy 15.30 Sat 19th Mar Ireland Vs. England 18.00 Sat 19th Mar France Vs. Wales 20.45

Moto GP The opening race of the 2011 MotoGP season, which gets into action in Qatar this weekend.

Reigning champion Jorge Lorenzo will be looking to carry on where he left off in 2010, which he ended in style in Valencia Back in November by winning his ninth race of the season to finish on a record 383 points.

Moto GP in Qatar on 20th March 19.30 BBC 2

Cricket World Cup 2011 It happen Again this time Bangladesh go and beat us so we are now in that normal roll waiting to see what other teams do to see if we make the quarter finals. First we must beat the West Indies on the 17th March St Patrick’s Day. Then we will have to wait until the last group game on the 20th. Let take a look at the group Standing in Group A It look like all the top four teams will go through to the Quarters that being Australia, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and New Zealand.

Tony Martin Wins the Paris Nice race to the Rain Tony Martin became only the third German to win Paris-Nice at the end of the 124-kms final stage won in style by French champion Thomas Voeckler.

This race is called the race to the Sun but this year in Nice there was a downpour to welcome the riders.

The 25-year-old HTC-Highroad leader beat compatriot Andreas Kloeden (RadioShack), winner of the Race to the Sun 11 years ago. Briton Bradley Wiggins of Team Sky finished third 41 seconds behind

Ladies Tour

WGC Cadillac Championship at Doral Nic Watney beat Dustin Johnson by two shots to win the weekend big golf event at the Blue Monster at the Doral Golf resort in Florida.

Luke Donald was looking good in second place after the third round but fell away to finish tied sixth with Rory Mclory back in tenth. But the talk of the last day was Tiger Woods coming in with the best score of the final round with a 66. So is the tiger on the way back let’s wait and see Tiger as now gone 19 events and 16 months without a win. Also having problems is Phil Mickleson

Swings back in to action with the LPGA Founders Cup in Phoenix Full reports on all these in next week’s Courier European Ladies tour Starts in Europe on the 31st March in Morocco One final word on Golf Local lad Rory McGee from San Javier is this year playing on the Hooters tour In the States. Last weekend Rory just missed the cut by 1 stroke scoring a 72 and a 74 for a 146 total in the Harley Davidson Classic in Ocala Florida. We will try and follow Rory in the coming weeks in the courier to see if the local lad can make it in America good luck Rory.

Golf

Saturday, 19 March 2011 Tottenham v West Ham, 13:45 Aston Villa v Wolverhampton, 16:00 Blackburn v Blackpool, 16:00 Man Utd v Bolton, 16:00 Stoke v Newcastle, 16:00 West Brom v Arsenal, 16:00 Wigan v Birmingham, 16:00 Everton v Fulham, 18:30 Sunday, 20 March 2011 Sunderland v Liverpool, 14:30 Chelsea v Man City, 17:00 LA LIGA

Exciting stuff

LOCAL FOOTBALL “Saints” become Goals R Us San Fulgencio C.F. 9 - 1 Montesinos All Sports Last Sunday saw Torrevieja Ladies take on top of the table Aspe. From the start Torre knew this was going to be a tough game but that didn't stop them from pulling of a magnificent game and achieving a well deserved draw. The

PREMIER LEAGUE FIXTURES

first half couldn't have been much worse when Torrevieja were already losing 0-2 after the first 20 minutes into the game. This score was handled until the end of the first half after which the game began to come alive.

Sunday, 21 March 2011 Athletic Bilbao v Villarreal, 17:00 Atletico Madrid v Real Madrid, 17:00 Barcelona v Getafe, 17:00 Deportivo La Coruna v Levante, 17:00 Hercules v Osasuna, 17:00 Malaga v Espanyol, 17:00 Mallorca v Real Zaragoza, 17:00 Racing Santander v Real Sociedad, 17:00 Sporting Gijon v Almeria, 17:00 Valencia v Sevilla, 17:00 MotoGP calendar 2011 Date 20-Mar 03-Apr 24-Apr 01-May 15-May 05-Jun 12-Jun 25-Jun 03-Jul 17-Jul 24-Jul 14-Aug 28-Aug 04-Sep 18-Sep 16-Oct 23-Oct 06-Nov

Location Qatar, Losail Spain, Jerez Japan, Motegi Portugal, Estoril France, Le Mans Catalonia, Barcelona Great Britain, Silverstone Netherlands, Assen Italy, Mugello Germany, Sachsenring United States, Laguna Seca Czech Republic, Brno United States, Indianapolis San Marino, Misano Spain, Aragon Australia, Phillip Island Malaysia, Sepang Spain, Valencia

The chat from the coach in the changing room uplifted the spirits of all of the players and just five minutes into the second half it was 1-2. A mishap up field saw Torre go down 1-3 but this didn't dishearten the girls as they carried on fighting to regain some pride.

By the ninetieth minute the score was 3-3 when Torrevieja scored their fourth goal which was undeservedly disallowed as the ref blew for an imaginary hand ball. Even so the draw was a great achievement as the girls proved that they are not a team to be messed with. By Sam April Cammidge

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

‘THREE AMIGOS’ KEY TO SUCCESS By Dan Smith Less than two months ago, Elche team mates Samuel, Kike Mateo and Acciari could do no more than watch from the stands as boss José Bordalás omitted their names from the team sheet on a weekly basis.

Local media questioned a lack of commitment on the players’ part but as per all things football a series of events gave chance for a place on the bench leading to playing the full ninety minutes.

Since being included in the starting line-up Elche have won five of their last six games, coincidence maybe, but for anyone watching last Friday night there could be little doubt that their inclusion has been key to Elche´s recent run of wins.

Friday´s opponents, Córdoba came to the rain soaked Martinez Valero stadium looking for points after consecutive defeats against Numancia and Barcelona II, and for those who braved the English style weather were rewarded with fast flowing, entertaining football.

Elche looked so much like a team on a winning run, Samuel in captains role inspired; his aerial dominance at the back was impeccable, midfield-

ELCHE 2 CÓRDOBA 1

er motivator Accirai tackled just when and where necessary and Kike Mateo´s new role, supporting on form goal scorer Ángel, seemed to work a treat.

The home side took the lead on thirty-five minutes, Elche number nine Ángel, left unmarked just outside of the six-yard box, got a clear header when team mate Xumetra managed to tip toe the ball over keeper Navas

after his miss timed attempt to cut out a cross. Shortly after the break, with the rain now torrential the visitors got themselves back in the game, ex Elche midfielder, Tena, gave keeper Jaime no chance with a powerful header from the middle of the area after a sustained 10 minute spell of pressure. Jaime in the Elche goal, continuing his run of form frustrated the visitors with some

great goalkeeping keeping things level until the 76 minute, when again up popped Ángel, heading Elche back in to the lead.

A cross come shot by 72nd minute sub David Sanchez looked goal bound but the Tenerife born number 9 made sure with a simple nod of the head. The remaining 14 minutes saw the game open up with chances at either end, some rash tackling on the slippery

surface kept referee Jaime Later busy and as the minutes ticked by rain sodden Elche boss, Bordalás could hardly bear to watch. Elche more than hung on, they deserved the three points and anything less would have been an injustice, but they got that little touch of luck when needed which seems to come when you´re on a run.

Tomorrow (Saturday

19th) Elche are away to bottom club Ponferradina, separated by 20 points the visitors may appear favourites but win last weekend for the home side must give them some hope in closing the 6 point gap between them and second division survival, Elche meanwhile, now firmly placed in the playoff zone, need to keep alive the dream of La Liga football.

Continued from back page.

Photos: Mark Welton

Benzema fires home

Hercules showed no sign of allowing Real Madrid to dominate completely, and beavered away, first Portillo then Kiko getting good efforts in, though Iker Casillas showed no sign of weakness. With 16 minutes on the clock, Farinos took successive corners, the second allowing Pamarot to head narrowly over the bar.

But, inevitably Madrid struck, first Di Maria almost running clear, then Arbeloa’s pinpoint pass giving Benzema the chance to slot the ball side-footed into the net. 1-0, after 23 minutes. Three minutes later Adebayor caused panic with his centre, and Hercules could have been two down.

Adebayor then brought a great save from Calatayud. After 36 minutes, Thomert got in a fine shot, tipped over by Iker and Hercules were still striving hard, Kiko’s dribble and shot bringing the keeper into action again. Portillo saw his feeble effort saved as half-time approached.

When the second period began, Adebayor ran onto a pass from the splendid Özil, only to crash his shot against the bar, and then Benzema had a good shot saved well by Calatayud, who soon had to save from Di Maria too. It was clear that Madrid’s superiority would soon pay off, and, on 55 minutes, an excellent individual move, and shot from an acute angle, gave Benzema and Real Madrid their second goal.

Sammy Khedira replaced Di Maria, who had been fouled too often for Mourinho’s liking, and Xabi Alonso came on for Granero – no relief there! Cristian replaced the hardworked Portillo for the Alicante side, whilst Valdez at last replaced Tiaago Gomes. Özil forced Cala to tip a fierce drive over the bar. Pulhac saw a yellow card when he fouled Özil, who went off to be substituted by young Canales.

Marcelo’s umpteenth run down the wing let in Benzema, but his hat-trick will have to wait for another day.

It had been an improved and valiant effort by Hercules, but that there is a gulf in class between the two sides was clear to see – though many teams have come away from the Bernabeu with much worse results.

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Friday, 18th March, 2011

BENZ MEANZ WINZ!

Benzema double undoes Hercules as Real continue to chase Barca for top spot

REAL MADRID 2 HERCULES 0

Photo: Mark Welton

When hard work just isn’t enough For this ‘mission impossible’ game, Esteban Vigo brought in Portillo to deputise for the injured Trezeguet, and Kiko got a start in the absence of Tote, but, for some unaccountable reason, the fully-recovered Paraguayan

international Nelson Valdez was kicking his heels on the bench for 65 minutes, with the ineffective Tiago Gomes in his spot behind the striker.

José Mourinho rested several key players, his mind on the midweek clash with Olympique

Lyons, and started with Benzema and Adebayor up front, whilst Carvalho and Pepe were replaced at the back by Sergio Ramos and Albiol. (Two World Champions – hardly a hardship!)

Continued on p47

COURIER Number 1 for SPORT!)