The Courier week 9

Edition 9

www.thecourier.es

Thursday, 21st April 2011

Careless staff couldn’t care less

CARREFOUR IN SNUB STORM

Fury as management ignore plight of paint-splash victim

By DONNA GEE

A bit of all white: Cathy, Bob and newly-painted wall

A British shopper was left orange with rage after being doused in wet paint from a leaking container – and then given the brush-off by staff at Torrevieja’s biggest store.

Cathy Ashe and her husband Bob waited 40 minutes to speak to someone in authority, only to be told: ‘‘You’re wasting your time. The management don’t want to know.’’

Continued on p2

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

TELEPHONE

96 672 6437 JUNGLE DRUMS

Picture of the week

96 672 7334

Continued from front page The Ashes, from Manchester, had gone to the store last week to buy paint to freshen up the walls of their holiday home in El Raso.

But they were blissfully unaware of the rogue container, which had seemingly been leaking for hours, if not days, since the dripping paint had formed a small puddle which had begun to congeal.

Disaster struck when the Ashes’ trolley spun round as they loaded their own heavy cans of paint.

Cathy suddenly found that her legs, white skirt and shoes were covered in paint. The skirt all but ruined, she fled to the ladies’ room…leaving an orange trail in her wake. ‘’I was literally dripping paint,’’ she revealed. ‘’However, it was emulsion paint, so I hoped I might

be able to wash it off my skirt.’’

Bob and Cath initially asked a female staff member to contact a supervisor, but the woman dismissed them with a curt: ’’I can’t help. I work in the bedding department.’’

Further requests to two other Carrefour workers, one male, one female - produced the same negative response – the young man saying he would get assistance, then being seen by Bob several minutes later giggling with his colleague in another aisle.

And it got worse.

Cathy spent 40 minutes cleaning herself up, while Bob waited at the Information Desk after reporting the accident. ‘The girl at the desk did try to get through to someone on the phone – but when she finally put the receiver down, she just said: ‘You’re wasting your time. They don’t want to know.’

‘’And that was it. They just didn’t care. Nobody had bothered to clear up the mess, which may well have been there for days. For all I know, it may still be there now.

Bob added ‘’I reckon it had been there at least 24 hours when Cathy got splashed. It certainly hadn’t happened recently yet there was not even a warning sign, let alone any sort of cordon around it. ‘’The way we were treated was disgusting. We didn’t even get an apology – nothing. It just could not have happened in England. ‘’Other people have told me the service at Carrefour leaves a lot to be desired. After this experience, we certainly won’t be shopping there again.’’

HAVE YOU HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE AT CARREFOUR? Write to The Editor at the address above right or email editor@thecourier.es

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Dave Bull (English/Spanish) ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Vanessa Gran Alacant, La Marina, Guardamar Tel. 638 741 847 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 697 241 753 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Dave Bull Malcolm Palmer Mick Hardy Spike Paul Payne Sally Bengtsson Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Dan Smith Photographer Mark Welton

MADRID BANS 'ATHEIST' EASTER PROCESSION The Government has banned a march originally planned as a ceremony and later formalised as a demonstration has been organized by groups such as the Madrid Association of Atheists and Freethinkers (AMAL), Ateos en Lucha and the Lavapiés Beach N e i g h b o u r h o o d Association. The Madrid authorities stepped in to halt any "atheist procession" being organised by groups for Maundy Thursday.

They stated that it would be in conflict with the traditional Holy Week procession, a deciToday Showers High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 17°C Monday Partly sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 22°C

sion the protest organisers have described as "erroneous" and which they intend to contest.

The groups had originally planned to march on the evening of Maundy Thursday, but with the Government banning the march, saying that it coincides with the traditional processions, the authorities are unanimous in their disapproval of the event. The president of the Community of Madrid, Esperanza Aguirre, agreeing with the decision, adding that it was wrong for people to be "free to offend the Catholics".

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Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011

Friday Partly sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 22°C

Saturday Some showers High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 23°C

Sunday Some showers High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 22°C

Tuesday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 20°C RealFeel: 26°C

Wednesday Sunny High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 26°C

Thursday Sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 23°C

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

‘DRUGS CAUSE MORE ACCIDENTS THAN BOOZE’

CHINESE WORKERS BUILD 15-STOREY HOTEL IN SIX DAYS!

A new study reveals that with the increasing use of drugs comes an increase in drug-related car crashes A construction crew in the south-central Chinese city of Changsha have completed a 15storey hotel in just SIX DAYS. That’s all it took the rapid workers to build the levelnine earthquake-resistant, sound-proofed, thermalinsulated hotel, complete with everything from cabling to three-pane windows. The foundations were already built - but it’s still incredibly impressive.

Despite the frenetic pace of construction, no workers were injured — and thanks to the prefabricated nature of the process, the builders wasted very little construction material.

KEEP OUT OF THE BLACK

George Michael after his arrest last year

By Spike A report carried out by the OECDassociated International Transport Forum has concluded that, contrary to popular belief, drug-driving accidents rival or even surpass drunk-driving crashes.

The report, titled ‘Drugs and Driving: Detection and Deterrence’, goes on to show that although driving under the influence of drugs appears to be rife, it presents an extremely difficult situation for the police, who lack the equipment to detect drugs in a driver’s system or differ-

entiate, say, cannabis from medicine.

According to the report, almost one fifth of serious accidents are caused by drugs, especially the increasingly-popular recreational drug cannabis and benzodiazepines. The study covered roadside tests, surveys and questionnaires distributed in 16 countries and highlights the relationship between drugs consumption and road accidents.

Jack Short, Secretary-General of the International Transport Forum, said: “There is not one drug with one effect, but multiple drugs with multiple effects on the human body’’. He added that it is ‘’difficult

to dissect drugs such as medicines from illicit drugs.’’

The report’s recommendations include the need to reach an international agreement on the drugs that contribute towards causing road accidents. This could be as simple as the labelling of medicinal drugs with warnings and making road safety a priority, which the group suggest is more important than the prosecution of drug users.

Another option is the training of police personnel to detect drug use as well as investing in research on drugs and driving.

The Spanish government has declared a zerotolerance crackdown on the so-called 'submerged economy', and has vowed it will be targeting both sole traders and companies in its bid to wipe out working 'on the black'.

In a statement last weekend it stated that the move is to protect workers – particularly vulnerable society groups such as non-EU immigrants – from poor conditions and with no legal rights or social security due to being employed for cash in hand with no contracts.

The ministry announced it will be particularly tough on people who are on the dole but working 'on the black' at the same time, and threaten fines ranging from 12,000 euros up to more than half a million.

For most people who claim dole and work for cash, it is a question of survival because when the dole money runs out and they still have not found a job, people have to rely on money they have put aside in the meantime.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

SAYS LET’S PUT A STOP TO IT

NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT

Brit Rockers in Murcia Festival Cash Row

TOGETHER

With British bands such as The Kooks and Editors due to play, and with American bands MGMT and 70s rocker Patti Smith headlining Murcia’s planned rock festival is expected to attract a crowd of 80,000 people and so far over 25,000 tickets have been sold. But now a row has started about claims that the authorities in Murcia have paid 400,000€ to get British band Suede to headline at the rock festival.

Now, local culture boss has had to get involved and is insisting they had paid “at least a third of that” to secure the services of the London group but unhappy local councillors claim that the town hall should not have made the huge pay-out to get the group to play the Estrella Levante SOS 4.8 Festival in May- the row goes on.

When they play at Murcia it will be the only Spanish appearance this year for the band that are known for having five top ten singles including Trash and Stay Together and their hit album Coming Up went to number one in 1996, making lead singer Brett Anderson becoming an overnight star.

Rather than get off their backsides and even have the decency to beg for money, the scumbags who have been robbing people along the coast with the rear window note con prefer to steal from people who have worked for what they have.

These are the type of people who can’t see why they should get up in the morning and go and put in a shift when they can just take what they want from other people.

One day they’ll jump in a car and drive off without realising immediately that there is a child in the back, or a baby – then what?

Keep safe and vigilant – if you see a note on the back window of a car, any car, call the police immediately. Even if it turns out to be innocent the police tell us that they’d rather you call.

OVER 300 TOWNS HAVE ‘DODGY’ VOTERS Census Bureau finds irregularities in registered voter numbers

By Spike

To the Central Electoral Board which is working to prevent fraud in the forthcoming elections on May 22 has uncovered a string of irregularities on electoral rolls around Andalucía in the run up to the May elections.

The Electoral Census Bureau said that it has already found irregularities on the so-called ‘padrons’ of 22 towns in Malaga and a further 16 in Granada but the towns – which have not yet been named – must now provide the Board with an explanation Irregularities have so far been detected in almost 300 towns throughout Spain, and a third of those have failed to offer an explanation and in addition to the automatic alerts, the Board is also investigating complaints from private individuals and political groups in another 14 municipalities.

The National Institute of Statistics has a system in place which detects unusually high numbers of people registering as voters, in comparison to 2007.

WORLD'S TOP 10 MOST EXPENSIVE CITIES RANKED BY THE COST OF LIVING This top ten shows the cost of living of the world's top 10 most expensive cities made according to the price for the following categories: alcohol and tobacco, clothing and footwear, domestic services, food at home, food away from home.

5 Seoul Seoul is the capital and largest city of South Korea, and it is occupying the 5th place.

6 Hong Kong Hong Kong has a population of 7 million people but only 1,108 km2 (428 sq mi) of land, making it one of the most densely populated areas in the world. It is occupying the 6th place.

7 Copenhagen Copenhagen is the capital and largest city of Denmark. It is occupying the 7th place.

1 Moscow Moscow is the world’s most expensive city for expatriates for the third consecutive year.

8 Geneva Geneva is the second-most-populous city in Switzerland (after Zürich).

2 Tokyo Tokyo is in second position climbing two places since 2007.

3 London London is the capital of the United Kingdom, and the largest city in the European Union. It drops one place to rank third.

9 Zurich Zurich, Switzerland’s largest city and the country’s financial capital is the second city most people would like to call their home. It is occupying the 9th place.

4 Oslo Oslo is the capital and largest city in Norway and it is occupying the 4th place.

10 Milan Milan is the second largest city of Italy, located in the plains of Lombardy. It is occupying the last place on the top.

No1 Moscow

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Cash and Carrie: The evening my psychic dog gambled with her life Anyone who read the last episode of my Dogs v Cats saga will realise I have a marginal preference for moggies - if only because they have considerably cleaner habits than poo-ches.

I’ve never been able to understand just why our canine children simply love to pepper their noses with the ghastliest of savouries left for them by their fellow barkers.

The browner and smellier the better for Fido and his pals, and the worse for their owners as their shoes squelch the stinking stuff in when they get home. The only consolation of living in Spain is that it is far quicker to clean a poo-lished ceramic floor than your precious Axminster.

Some dogs, however, are extra special. One of these was Carrie, my best friend for 15 years until I found her frozen body on the back

doorstep of our home in Manchester one devastating winter morning. But more of that later.

Carrie was a smallish sandy mongrel with white markings – probably a whippet crossbred because she hared across the local park in Manchester so rapidly that I swear she overtook herself half-way across!

She was around two years old when we inherited her from a friend who was moving abroad with her family.

We already had a couple of cats and whilst initially Carrie and the moggies treated each other with caution, they quickly became great mates and indeed would often snuggle together in a basket at bedtime.

A few years earlier we had invested a large sum in a pedigree Irish Setter puppy and inherited nothing but trouble and stress. Our attempts to house train the beautiful but highly-strung

creature were a disaster to the point that visitors had difficulty working out which room was the toilet.

With the Red Setter in grave danger of becoming a Dead Setter at the hands of its furious owners, something clearly had to give. And six weeks after she arrived, Beauty of Belhaven bounded off into the mist with her new owners as the entire neighbourhood breathed a huge sigh of relief.

With Carrie it was entirely different. Calm and good natured, she was nothing like as excitable as Beauty.

And she never had to ask to go out to do her business – she would squeeze her body though the cat-flap, albeit with some difficulty, and then squeeze back in when she had finished.

When we went out, we’d take her with us virtually everywhere and she adored sitting on the back seat look-

ing out of the rear window.

What she saw and how it affected her, we had no idea –

until o n e night w h e n she demonstrated a sixth sense that was truly uncanny.

Perhaps once a fortnight, my other half and I would have a meal at a casino three or four miles from home – and we’d occasionally take Carrie for the ride. She’d stay in the Rover (vehicle that is!) under the supervision of the carpark attendant while we dined and had a quick spin on the roulette table.

Carrie had been to the casino no more than three or four times –always in the car. On each trip her eyes would focus on the road behind as we headed towards our destination, and then home a couple of hours later.

One night, we went with our two daughters to a restaurant for a meal, leaving the dog at home with the cats. When we got back, Carrie had disappeared but we weren’t overly concerned. Presumably she’d just gone out for a wee and a wander.

Then the phone rang. ‘‘Hello, this is the Salford Albion Casino,’’ said the voice on the other end. ‘‘Do you have a dog called Carrie?’’

Cue panic – and the expectation that something dreadful had happened to the dog. ‘‘Yes, we do,’’ I replied nervously. ‘‘Well, she’s here wandering around. The parking attendant recognised her.

We got her name and your number off her name tag.’’

I was flabbergasted. She had obviously gone looking for us, but how on earth did she know where to go? The casino was several miles away from our home, across at least a couple of main roads including the busy A56. And she couldn’t have followed a scent because she had only been there in

the back of a car.

As we drove to the casino to collect Carrie, the only explanation we could come up with was that she had somehow remembered the route, even though she had never been there on foot and therefore could not have picked up a trail. Or could she?

Who knows what goes on inside a dog’s brain – and how many extra senses they possess?

It’s 15 years or so since Carrie died that fateful December day. Fifteen years old and suffering from a heart complaint, she must have squeezed out through the cat flap during the night to do a wee, and suffered a fatal attack as she tried to get back in. She went to meet St Bernard at the Furry Gates still carrying the secret of her mysterious trek to the casino that remarkable night. Indeed, to this day I have no explanation how she found her way there.

Carrie gambled with her life in her attempt to find us that night. And with her brave mission she won even more of our love.

RIP, little one.

Do animals really have a sixth sense? Send your views to office@thecourier.es

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS

But just how much have you forgotten?

1972 1972 This year is marked as a black year in history due to the use of terrorism entering sport with the massacre of 11 Israeli athletes by Arab gunmen. Also this is the beginning of the biggest political scandal in modern times - the Watergate Scandal. On the other side of the Atlantic a worsening of the problems between the IRA and the British government see wrongs from both sides and innocent lives are lost.

Technology 1972 •HBO launched in US as the first subscription cable service •Richard Nixon orders the start for the space shuttle program •Apollo 16 lands on the moon where the Lunar Rover is tested by astro-

nauts John W Young and Charles M Duke •Apollo 17 lands on the moon and the last men to walk on the moon are Harrison Schmitt and Eugene Cernan •Digital Watches are introduced •First scientific hand-held calculator (HP-35) intro-

duced (price $395).

•The Volkswagen Beetle becomes the most popular car ever sold with in excess of 15 million.

•Atari kicks off the first generation of video games with the release of PONG, the first game to achieve commercial success Popular TV Programmes •Monty Python's Flying Circus •Sesame Street •The Benny Hill Show •The Brady Bunch •Dad's Army •Hawaii Five-O •Here's Lucy

•Don McLean •Elton John •The Moody Blues •David Bowie •Led Zeppelin Born This Year 1972 Gwyneth Paltrow Scott Peterson Jonny Lee Miller Ben Affleck What Events Happened in 1972 •The Second Cod War between UK and Iceland World •The world’s leaders agree to banning biological warfare

Popular Films •The Godfather •Fiddler on the Roof •Diamonds Are Forever •What's Up, Doc? •Dirty Harry •The Last Picture Show •A Clockwork Orange •Cabaret Popular Musicians and songs

•ABBA •Roxy Music •The Eagles •John Lennon •Paul Simon •Simon and Garfunkel •Rod Stewart •Don Mclean with "American Pie" •Michael Jackson with "Ben"

U.S. •Antiwar demonstrations draw 100,000 demonstrators in US cities Palestine •Palestinian hijackers hijack a Lufthansa jet Philippines •Martial Law Declared in the Philippines Hong Kong •The ex RMS Queen Elizabeth Sets on Fire and Sinks in Hong Kong Sri Lanka •Ceylon becomes a republic and changes its name to Sri Lanka Uganda •General Idi Amin of Uganda takes control of British firms and interests in the country •He also expels 50,000

Asians From Uganda UK •UK unemployment rises to one million for the first time since the depression years of the 1930s U.S. •The Dow Jones closes above 1000 for the first time in history Sierra Leone •The Largest Diamond, the 969.8-carat Star of Sierra Leone, is unearthed U.S. •Flash Flood caused by dam burst in Rapid City, South Dakota kills over 200 U.S. •Governor George Wallace is shot three times in an attempted assassination

attempt by Arthur Bremer which leaves him paralysed.

China •Richard Nixon visits China U.S. •A dam In West Virginia’s Buffalo Creek Valley collapses killing 118 people •American Swimmer Mark Spitz wins a record 7 gold medals in the Summer Olympics in Munich Bangladesh •Bangladesh gains independence from Pakistan Cameroon •Cameroon gains independence from France and Britain Japan The Winter Olympic Games are held in Sapporo, Japan U.S. •Federal Water Pollution Control Amendments come into force

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

IT’S ALL IN THE GRIP… It’s the shooting season in Spain. For what I’m not entirely sure but they are a bit partial to shooting, or killing in one form or another (as long as it’s got fur, feathers or fins) and then eating whatever it might be. I’ve seen them in the trees near to our house with their laser scopes and night optics.

How come they can get them but the British government can’t? Anyway, they will bead their little red dot on some poor unfortunate rabbit’s head before blasting it in the foot and having to use up two or three more hollow points to finish the job properly. All the while dressed as if they are on black ops in Colombia.

It’s always interesting, when I’m out with the dogs, to see these guys creeping through the trees in search of their prey. I shout for the dogs to ‘come’ just as Jose Rambo is putting the red dot on a sparrow from 10 yards. Off flies the bird while its frustrated assassin settles in to wait for his next challenge; a rabbit with a limp.

However, always willing to see it from the other side (although the only birds we’d be shooting had been made on a potter’s wheel), my son and I were invited to go along to a clay-pigeon shooting range on the outskirts of Alicante. The chance to hold a gun like his rap heroes was reason enough for him - how is it that these rappers who sing about their life of crime and time spent in jail have done all this and become a famous singer by the time they’re 19?

We went and were met by the two brothers who owned the place (both European champions at one time or another) and after letting us have a go, where we managed a measly one or two out of six each time, Fran and Alberto showed us how it was done by getting fives and mostly sixes in their session.

A good day out for Mitch and an article ready to be written, so we went home satisfied…and deaf.

BEING FRANK Don’t they make your blood boil…crematoriums? OK, sorry, but my mate Frank told me an amusing story the other night about an evening sitting on the terrace supping a beer while his wife read nearby. Quietly, he’d said ‘’I love you’’.

His wife, always the sceptic, looked his way and asked, ‘’Was that you talking…or the beer?’’

Frank, still sitting quietly, had replied, ‘It was me talking…to the beer’.

He’s due out of traction Tuesday.

Frank’s not the most intelligent guy in the world (as you’ve no doubt surmised) and being a tree-hugger he has some odd ideas. For instance, one plan for his group in the UK was to sneak out the night before a hunt and shoot the fox to ruin their day he doesn’t quite think things through. That’ll probably explain the snooze button on the smoke alarm.

I BLAME IT ON WIND… Wind turbines, they’re popping up everywhere in Europe and Spain has more than any other European country - and that could be prove to be a problem. You see, a report carried out by The John Muir Trust in Scotland has just discovered that rather than generating enough juice to sustain us in green energy forever, we’ll be lucky if we make a cuppa.

It turns out that instead of producing the claimed 2,500 megawatts, wind turbines are actually generating about as much of a current as your mobile phone charger with less than 20 megawatts actually coming out of them.

I can just imagine the man who signed the order forms to fill Spain's countryside with wind turbines, Industry Minister Miguel Sebastian, reading the report in his office and wondering which advisor to point the finger at.

However, another report by Stuart Young Consulting has the lamest excuse I’ve heard

yet; blame the wind. Yes, according to these guys for a third of the period measured the wind was a bit iffy and wasn’t strong enough to move the 100-foot blades. It must have come as a hell of a shock to them if they’ve only just realised that the wind is a variable. Isn’t that why reasonably intelligent

weathermen and women (or in Sky News’ case, teenagers) tell us every evening what’s going to happen tomorrow because the weather is changeable?

But no, according to SYC, ‘’the intermittent nature of wind also gives rise to low wind coinciding with high energy demand’’ – or in English – ‘’if it’s not windy we can’t supply leccy.’’

So now what do we do? We can’t have nuclear because we’ll all get frazzled if there’s an earthquake. Turbines are generating about the same as a reasonably fit hamster would on his wheel and oil, gas and coal are either running out or in the hands of madmen who fart a lot.

So we are left with solar, which is nice and environmentally friendly, and of course here in Spain we have plenty of sun and not enough wind. So why don’t they make the blades of the turbines out of solar panels so that when they are not turning they are still generating energy? Just a thought…

HAVE YOU GOT A LITTLE JOHNNY? ‘In Britain we’re teaching them the fine art of wielding a knife by the time they’re three’ We all know the Spanish love their kids but do they really need to keep them in a pushchair until they’re 14? In Britain it’s a bit different because by the time mum and dad have got back from work having synchronised their Blackberries, ‘networked’ over a cup of turdflavoured dishwater, or Starbucks as it’s now called, and picked the kids up from the child-minders, there is barely enough time to send them a goodnight text before I’m a Celebrity Big Brother talent show starts on TV. Yes, the Spaniards have a lot more time for their kids but what is alarming is for how long they make them stay kids. OK, so in Britain we’re teaching them the fine art of wielding a knife by the time they’re three and we start looking for friends who have a house near to the school we want them to go to (in

10 years’ time) so that they can learn to stab someone properly while having a fag.

But in Spain it’s a bit different. Yes, there are thugs, yobs and losers (or the French as they’re commonly known) but these youngsters fear no-one. No-one, that is, apart from their mother, grandmother, aunty…or their older sister.

Cross them at your peril because if little (or often, no-so-little) Juan has done something wrong, a dressing down in the local plaza in front of his mates and half the town’s population is common place. And woe betide the one who answers back because a cuff round the ear followed by a march home is the only reward he’ll get.

I’m not sure who’s got it right really, the Brits with kids trained in advance communications and the ability to shave with a machete - or the Spanish with children who are still happy to eat with their parents and be pushed around in a pram until they’re ready to start work.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

IS IT A QUESTION OF FITTING IN?

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Tony Mayes asks why it’s OK for Islamic women to wear veils and looks at what the French have done about it The French have gone up a good few points in my book for banning the wearing of Islamic veils in public.

It's about time such rules were introduced in Britain too.

The French government says the face-covering veil "undermines the basic standards required for living in a shared society and also relegates its wearers to an inferior status incompatible with French notions of equality".

Those same arguments are just as strong, if not stronger, in Britain. Why should people come into Britain and take advantage of our usual tolerance by continuing the customs of their homeland?

There is nothing in the Koran which says Muslims must wear the niqab or burka when in public. It does say women should dress with decency. I suspect that the wearing of veils was more to do with covering themselves from the sun and sand in desert regions rather than any religious belief.

It has been adopted by Muslim extremists as a symbol of their "difference" and as a way of pushing the British usual tolerance of others to its very limit.

I suspect there are two factors at play here in women wearing the veil. One is the attitude of "modern woman� that she will not be told what to wear or not to wear - merely putting two fingers up at authority.

The other is those sad women who are utterly dominated by their husband, partner or family into being forced to wear the veil. How often have you seen a Muslim family walking along the road with the man arrogantly strutting his stuff in Western attire, while his dutiful wife follows a few steps behind with their children?

But it's the double standards over the whole issue that bothers me. On one hand Muslims expect to have the right

to wear the veil, irrespective of the fact that many British people don't like to see people with their faces totally covered and consider it a threat. Who knows what is hidden beneath all those coverings - is there a concealed weapon or bomb?

On the other hand, Muslim countries will not tolerate anything which contradicts their religion or way of life. Just try having a drink of alcohol in public and see how intolerant they are.

And heaven help a Christian church if it tried to open a place of worship in some Muslim countries. Christians are still persecuted and even put to death in some of the least tolerant Muslim areas.

Yet the British have had to watch and be extremely wary of what criticisms they make as tens of thousands of immigrants have transformed entire areas of cities all over Britain. That criticism was cracked down on by legislation outlawing racial and religious intolerance - but it was not reciprocated in the Middle East.

In France only about 2,000 people wear the veil, but in Britain it is much more. People moving to another country to live should respect the customs of the host country. It's like the Brits here demanding we should drive on the left in Spain, tear down Spanish street signs and replace them with "Acacia Avenue or High Street" and building Britishstyle houses.

But it's not just about the veil. It's about ridding society of hoodies and the appalling scenes in London a few weeks ago when balaclava-topped thugs ransacked the streets.

The banning of any inappropriate headgear would give the police the power of arrest and deal with a problem the majority of people find offensive or inappropriate.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

OMISSION IMPOSSIBLE

Suzanne Manners investigates why, according to theory, nothing happens by accident Freudian belief implies that nothing happens by accident; no slip of the tongue, no coincidences, no accidentally bumping into an Ex when you look like something the cat played around with a bit then discarded.

No. To a Freudian all things accidental are deliberate, even, it seems, by omission.

Therefore a Freudian slip (which is not a garment worn under a psychiatrist’s suit) is the subconscious’ way of hijacking our feeble attempts at subterfuge and deceit. If you leave your glasses at a friend’s house or on the bar of your local, it is because subconsciously you wish to return. Freudian slips occur with alarming frequency and are often met with cries of, ‘Freudian slip!’, to the utter consternation of the slipee (!), who, let’s face it probably meant exactly what was said and feels that Freud and his ilk (don’t they roam free in Canadian forests...imagine herds of psychiatrists jumping out from behind trees and asking you about your mother?) should just bog off and go live in a Tibetan monastery at the top of Mount Everest.

Freud’s theories are difficult to understand but very easy to manipulate, especially when it comes to the theory of omission. Freud would say that one does not ever forget what is truly important. So, if you have not been thanked for your time, gift, hard work, love (delete as appropriate) then it is because in the eyes of the offender, you are not deemed important enough to warrant one. As the thinking goes, if he has not

phoned when he said he would then it is because he can’t be arsed. It is as simple as that, and thanks to Freud we know why. A man’s inability to remember a birthday or anniversary is not an amusing little foible it is just plain rude. A lack of flowers on Valentine’s Day is not an example of his disregard for the mores of society or refusal to adhere to romantic stereotypes, it is because he is tight and can’t be arsed (his subconscious is desperately screaming at you to accept the fact that he thinks you’re not worth it).

The man who does not thank you for a lovingly prepared meal is not forgetful he is just thoughtless. ‘a Freudian slip is not a garment worn under a psychiatrist’s suit’ There are so many opportunities in our day to day lives to thank and to congratulate, to commiserate and to support that it is a crime not to do so. ‘I’m sorry I was so busy’ is never an excuse for an omission. A

thoughtful person will always have the time for a kind word and will always check that everyone who needs to be thanked has been. To omit to thank someone is, I believe, a deliberate snub. Those two simple words can make the difference between having a good day and a bad one.

However, a little less thanking during the Oscar ceremony would not go amiss.

Of course there is always the thanking or praising of one person at the detriment of another. As a teacher it is a strategy often used to modify behaviour.

“Oh Johnny, how beautiful, and all your words are neatly on the paper.” Meanwhile you stare, hard faced at little Susan who has yet again managed to write her story on the table (and half way up the wall if you have been momentarily distracted).

And, let’s be honest, how many times have you praised or thanked someone in a deliberate attempt to put someone else down or to remind someone of their own omission. It is some-

thing we women are experts at ,“Oh, look darling, how beautiful they are, walking hand in hand... together.” or “My, oh my, look at the beautiful diamond ring Gary has bought Sheila, how thoughtful he is.” (Roughly translated as: “you don’t love me”, and, “you unthinking tight arse...you don’t love me”) My own mother is Queen of the unintentional, intended, put down, “Suzanne...”

She’ll sigh,” You should see all the beautiful flowers my friends received this Mother’s Day.” Or my all time favourite, “Doris’ daughter visits every Sunday, without fail, isn’t that sweet.” I learnt many years ago to duck from those barbed comments and retort with “Yes mum, I know, I’m a terrible daughter and I will burn in hell.”

Every film production company and large theatre has a legal department that employs people to check that relevant parties have been remunerated or thanked. Final credits or programmes are checked and double checked because they know that set painters, floor managers, grips and best boys (!) will peruse with avid attention aforementioned credits for their name.

This is not an exercise in vanity, but is essential for the future of these freelance workers who rely on a mention of their involvement, no matter how small, in the production. It also fosters good will. So next time you read the end credits of a film and you ponder the list of Also Thanked: The producer’s mum for the jam sandwiches, Mr Hooper for the threshing machine and use of his gurney, Bert for pointing the leading man in the right direction, the barman at the Pig and Whistle for returning the director’s glasses, etc, etc., remember that the producer is being polite and thoughtful.

So, when Auntie Gladys buys you yet another Florescent Yellow, skinny rib, roll neck jumper, that you wouldn’t let your cat be seen dead in, smile and sweetly gush, “Why thank you Auntie, it’s beautiful.” It has cost you nothing, but has made Aunty Gladys feel ten feet tall.

Actually Auntie Gladys is almost ten feet tall, with large hands and feet and a prominent Adams apple, but we never mention that, not even in a Freudian way.

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

MR JENSON SUSPECTS MURDER! Is Isabel Thornside barking?

Is Henry Aspinall looking for trouble?

All these and other questions will be answered on 30th April & 1st May at the Life Resort, Santa Pola, when GASP (Gran Alacant & Santa Pola Theatre Group) present 3 short comic plays, starting at 8pm. Tickets are 5 euros each & include a drink. Tickets can be obtained by calling 966181113, or 966181194, or e-mailing gasptheatre@hotmail.co.uk.

GASP are in their 2nd year and after a difficult period, when their founders left them in the lurch, part way through the run up to a production. New President, David Ashley took over the reins and guided the group through 2 successful productions.

As a result, the group has been able to make donations to the local school and a

Library project for deprived kids in Santa Pola.

Needless to say, members tend to be their 60s, but we have some younger people and one of 90 who is still acting!

Those of you who know the Life Resort will realise that it is not ideal for presenting plays. It is very comfortable, but lacks some essential features. Accordingly, GASP have invested most of its reserves in creating a Theatre stage under the direction of resourceful Stage Manager, Terry Lacey. We need to try and fill the theatre, to enable us to continue making donations locally. So, please come and have a good night out with us!

Oh, by the way, the picture is of our recent meeting with Alcalde Miguel Zaragoza and local Councillors.

GASP meets Miguel the Mayor

THE QUESADA PUPS Poor little dogs left in fields for four months They were first seen four months ago as young puppies, four of them with their mother.

It was a Norwegian man who when walking his dog near the river in Quesada first caught site of the four puppies and there mother, at the time he could not get near to them.

He next saw them again on Friday 8th of April, motherless the puppies looked in terrible condition, one has a bad limp.

He phoned a local animal rescue center based in Quesada, but they could not offer any help or assistance at that time.

He then phoned Mark Lewis a Councillor at San Fulgencio Town Hall who contacted one of the K9 Team volunteers Rikke who lives in Quesada.

Rikke went with the man on Saturday to rescue them. They managed to rescue three of them; unfortunately the fourth one dashed up a concrete drain pipe and would not come out.

Mel another K9 volunteer went there on

Sunday the 10th with the K9 Animal Rescue vehicle and crew on duty, Frank and his wife Mary, to meet Renee, the Norwegian man, to try to rescue the last one. Mel travelled up the long concrete pipe but could not see to the end of the tube as the torch stopped working. We will go again tomorrow to try again.

Renee has agreed to foster them whilst we advertise them for a home. The K9 Club will also help with the costs of veterinary treatment.

The puppies appear to be about 6 months old, possibly all are Pointer cross. There are

2 bitches and 1 dog.

One has trouble with its left hip, but others appear to be OK physically but they are all full of fleas and ticks. After a real good dosing with Frontline fleas and ticks appear to be falling off. They were very lethargic before the spraying but all seemed to perk up about an hour later.

At this time the fate of the fourth pup is unknown, but you can follow the story on the K9 club website at www.petsinspain.info or if you are able to help these poor puppies in any way please contact Brenda on 611 606 001 Email k9spain@gmail.com

‘Infrastructure and Prosperity the Priority’ - Monica Lorente The Partido Popular (PP) Mayoral Candidate for

Orihuela, Monica Lorente, has made a bold state-

ment ahead of the forthcoming municipal elections on 22nd May. She has said that the municipality´s infrastructure, in particular urban development which will contribute to economic prosperity, integration, co-existence and a healthier environment, is a priority got her party.

Committed to quality public spaces, Lorente has included in the party´s election commitments, within the infrastructure section, the renovation and improvement of the city´s historical centre, which amongst other things will involve the renovation and improvement of street furniture and the renovation and improvement of

all the historical buildings within the historical quarter.

The party has also promised that the Orihuela Coast will get it´s own bus station which will connect the residents of the coast with their municipal neighbours in the City and nearby hamlets as well as to local towns and cities and offer a quality, punctual and reliable service to its users.

The renovation and improvement of the coastline of Orihuela is also one of the major commitments of the PP party and Ms Lorente has stated that her main objective is to connect the maritime walkways on the coast and create a natural path which will unify the municipality´s eleven beaches.

Lorente also highlighted the works that will take place

on the City´s Avenida de la Estación and has made a commitment that by the end of the work on the AVE, the high speed train connection which is due to come to Orihuela in 2014, they will purchase an area close to the station so that it can be expanded and therefore provide a better and larger welcome for travellers to the city.

Finally, the municipality´s districts will also have new infrastructure and will have their existing infrastructure upgraded to serve the needs of it citizens. One of the PP´s outstanding projects is the ´Ruta Biosaludable´which is a nature walk which connects Orihuela with Hurchillo and Arneva and will allow users to take in the beauty of the heart of the Vega Baja.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

MABS WALK FOR LIFE HAS EVERYONE IN THE PINK It was a perfect Spring sunny morning to have a Walk with all the ladies dressed in Pink quite a few I did not recognise at first. Barry from Gran Alacant Advertiser kindly acted as a Judge for us and in the end 2 ladies won as they were so good.

Our sincere thanks to Loreto our local Councillor, we had the Santa Pola Police on the route with the walkers, the Council also supplied the tables, chairs, speakers for the music and the microphone which gave the event more of an atmosphere. We had over 30 walkers many did the circuit twice and looked a bit red as the sun got hotter. The money raised to date is 653.84 but we have the MonteMar Bowls and Social Club who have agreed to sponsor us for 100 euros and possibly more to come yet and another large amount from a bar, so it will be nearer 900

euros when all the money is received which is paid into a Gran Alacant Bank to be used in the local area.

Thank you to everyone who took part and helped to raise so much money, we are thrilled. A special thank you to BlueMoon Solutions-Spanish Ink who kindly sponsored us by designing and printing all our Posters, flyers, forms and paid for a beautiful big Banner, along with the balloons a lot of people stopped to see what was going on.

If you would like more information about MABS regarding the loan of equipment, being a volunteer driver, translator or you would like us to give a Talk to your Group or Club please contact me Jan Wright 966 697 754 or Angela 965 060 182. It should be mentioned that volunteers are not paid but there are out of pocket expenses.

Market Traders ROLL UP, ROLL UP for the Greatest Street Party of all Time

HAVE FUN - BY GEORGE!

If you’re looking for some St George’s Day fun then Saturday 23rd APRIL at 1pm the Green Baize Snooker Hall in Calle Los Arcos Local 1, Quesada, is having a ST GEORGES FUN DAY. BBQ and Disco with TONY MOORE, from TKOGOLD Radio.

Along with the usual fun there will be Face and Nail painting, Stalls and a MEAT raffle, and much more including a tombola for the charity CARITAS, in aid the Disadvantaged in Rojales and Quesada. To find the fun just turn left just before the ARCHES or call Juliana or Debbie on 660 847 895. And have some fun!

The Rojales Town Hall, supported by the Costa Blanca’s Number One Radio Station, TKO, will be hosting a Royal Wedding Fiesta at the Rojales Market Square on Friday 29th April.

There will be music all day, courtesy of TKO Radio, our very own model Bride and Groom, cars from Noche del Coche, a children's tea party, a fashion show, live music and entertainment from 11.00 am until late.

Plus dozens of market stalls, International

food, wine tasting, tapas, paella, a penalty shoot out, a human fruit machine and lots more; including a giant screen so that you won’t miss a single minute of Wills and Kate’s big day! For just €8 per metre, you can book a stall at what promises to be a fantastic day out for all the family; but get it booked as soon as possible because pitches are going fast! Call 639 318 526 NOW to book or email sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or call Linda on 966 716 919.

ALMOST 1000 PEOPLE DO A RUNNER!

The third Orihuela Costa Run took place last Sunday with more than 800 people subscribed to the event.

Children as young as eight years of age took part in the run which was organised in conjunction with the Orihuela Town Hall and the Tragamillas Athletic Club.

And with the collaboration of the Local Police, the Civil

Protection Unit, Cruz Roja and the Municipal Sports Centre in Playa Flamenca.

221 children and 680 adults participated in the run and of the adults 90% were men. The children had to run 1000 metres and their race took place 45 minutes before the adults´ race which consisted of two laps of a 4km route.

The race, which is in its third year, is becoming increasingly popular with a subscription increase of more than 250% compared with the first event in 2009. The winner of the main men´s race was Jeferson Monserrate with a time of 26 minutes and 59 seconds. Jeferson who runs with the Runtriton Club won €100 for his triumphant victory. In second place was Juan Emilio Miras Costa, who runs for the Espapack Eliocroca Running Club with a time of 27 minutes and 9 seconds. He was closely followed by Hamid Elghemary, a member of the Atlético Oriol Club and Ignacio Hernández Ruiz from Dolores who finished in third and fourth places respectively.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

THE 'B' IN MY EASTER BONNET Beer, Benidorm and builder's bum bug Britain's bigot boys

It’s a sad indictment of 21st century Britain, but to most of Europe our presence in Spain symbolises not class and culture - but beer, Benidorm and builder’s bum.

Blend in with the locals?

No chance. Only a tiny percentage of UK citizens who move to this country learn the language to even a modest level, let alone fluently.

OK, I’ll let you off if you genuinely cannot absorb Spanish (and let’s face it, our brains do get a bit pickled with age). But my suspicion is that the majority of tourists and expats find bingo a far greater attraction than lingo.

My blood does boil, though, when I hear some beer-swilling idiot in unionjack shorts spouting rubbish like: ‘’you’d think they’d learn English so they can understand what we want.’’

That sort of rhetoric tends to come from the same ‘’proud to be British’’ bigots

who at home are the first to condemn those Asian immigrants with neither the ability nor apparently the desire to master the English

tongue.

It’s hypocrisy to the extreme, of course – but typical of a nation which is arguably the least linguisti-

cally talented in the world (or perhaps just the laziest).

Yet the reality is that we ourselves adopt exactly the same attitude when we

venture abroad to greener (or rather, sunnier) pastures. In other words, it’s never us who must change but always Johnny

Foreigner – even when he’s at home!

Many expats seem to regard learning Spanish is an unnecessary waste of time. After all, most of us live in communities which are either predominantly English-speaking or where most of the locals speak our language anyway.

Of course, if you live in some tiny pueblo up in the mountains, you’ve no choice but to learn the language. That’s how it should be - but when it comes to the British mentality, it takes a very special sort of family to saddle itself with such a demanding challenge.

For many, living in Spain is a matter of plonking ourselves into a British urbanisation (OK, we don’t mind a few Scandinavians as well, as long as they speak good English), and spending our spare time on the beach, in British and Irish bars and gawking at Corrie and East Enders on TV. Muy Espanol!

CASHING IN ON A LABOUR OF LOBE A word in the ear of any entrepreneur out there who fancies a new challenge.

Every woman I know has suffered the Curse of the Lost Earring – and in my case more times than I care to remember.

It’s invariably either my most expensive or my most-loved pair that goes missing.

And when it happened to me yet again last week, it got me wondering why earrings always seem to be sold in pairs and not threes. ‘‘It’s because you’ve only got two ears, stupid!’ did I hear you say? Well that’s actually something I suspected,

believe it or not.

But seriously, think how useful that third earring would be.

You’d have to be particularly unlucky to be left with the ‘one in one out’ look.

OK, I know you can always buy two pairs at the outset if you’re susceptible to your pendientes going missing. But personally I find a purposemade presentation pack of three a far more attractive proposition.

As for a brand name, how about THREEARRINGS or, better still, THREE CH-EARS?

If you like what you read find more from Donna on page 5 and in Jungle Drums May 5th.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

ROCKY’S ARENA THE KNOCKOUT VENUE

With amazing views over the Mediterranean Rocky’s Arena Bar Restaurant is in the perfect location and is fast becoming a hit with locals and the many visitors to the area. Now under the new management of Craig and his fully experienced team, this successful Bar Restaurant is growing in popularity with the introduction of their new menus, happy hour daily from 5 p.m. - 7 p.m., live entertainment. Plus the added benefit of the beautiful setting, a large patio area at the entrance and the rooftop Bar terrace offer fresh air and great views while the spacious interior

will tempt you too.

Situated on the N332 at Playa Flamenca it’s close to all amenities and of course the fabulous beaches and Breakfast, Lunch and dinner menus feature a varied selection of dishes, and all at excellent value.

The Arena is ideal for parties and events, the buffet is highly recommended and the quality of food is superb.

Always the Rocky Buffet has a large selection to suit everyone and the presentation and service are an unexpected, but welcome, added bonus; Rocky’s, the perfect hosts for any occasion.

On those lazy Sunday afternoons, why not relax and enjoy lunch while listening to the smooth grooves with the G-Man or perhaps you fancy something different? On a Tuesday night, musicians and singers get together from 9.00 p.m.for a Jam Session and everyone is welcome come along and join Leo and boys.

After a day at the beach or catch up with friends unwind, chill with a few drinks or go on have one of your favourite cocktails on the rooftop terrace, breathtaking views, relaxing atmosphere, bliss what better way to spend these summer afternoons.

St. Georges Day Celebrations come along and join the Party This Saturday 23rd April there is live entertainment with Highway 61 who play a tribute to Bob Dylan , with the sensational Irish Rock and Blues Band ‘Strange Brew’ appearing at The Arena on Saturday 30th April, with the forthcoming attraction for May 6th popular Rocker ‘Wardi’. With regular drink promotions throughout the month.

Head on down it’s all happening at Rocky’s Arena, with the food, the views, the service and the friendly staff that’s why it’s fast become a knockout venue.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

WHAT THE SPAN

ELECTION CANDIDATE’S MASSIVE BOOB

FREE-STER!

Crook released due to ancient Easter tradition

Poster banned after Sole bares her soul with the breast intentions A political candidate who as part of her election campaign posed in her underwear, tied up, and on her knees in sadomasochistic style has been forced to withdraw a campaign poster in which she bared her breasts above the slogan “Two Big Arguments”.

Sole Sanchez, from Menorca, and a candidate for the newly-formed Partit Democratic de Ciutadella (PDC) was reported to equality leaders after officials saw an image in which her naked breasts were being squeezed by a pair of male hands.

Opposition candidates in the Spanish town, which is preparing for the elections on May 22, said the posters were “sexist” and “demeaning to women” and complained to the Institut de la Dona (Institute of Women), which demanded they be withdrawn.

But Ms Sanchez, who is standing for a council seat in Ciutadella on the west of the Balearic Island, wasn’t happy with the decision. She

Ms Sanchez displays her wares stated that she was a big supporter of women’s rights, saying: ‘’No one is more feminist than me, each person is free to express themselves as they please, and I use my breasts and my body as I want. ‘’If the only thing they can do is watch, that is their problem,” she added.

Outrage also greeted campaign posters in the 2009 general election in Germany when the conservative CDU party used images of Chancellor Angela Merkel and fellow candidate Vera Lengsfeld photographed in low-cut dresses showing lots of cleavage, with the slogan “We have more to offer”.

The Malaga Brotherhood of Our Father Jesus El Rico has obtained a pardon for a 52-year-old father of two from a threeyear drug-dealing sentence - all because of an annual tradition which dates back hundreds of years.

The tradition is believed to have started in 1759, when a plague of cholera cut Malaga’s population to so few that there was no one left to carry the statue in Holy week.

According to the legend, when the prisoners found out about it they broke out of the county jail in order to carry the Christ before returning voluntarily (allegedly) to jail. This happened at exactly the same time as the end of the epidemic and caused King Carlos III to declare it a miracle and order a prisoner

to be released every Holy Wednesday.

This year, across the country, pardons were granted by the cabinet to a total of 17 prisoners. The newly-released convict, from Malaga, will lead the brotherhood’s procession through the streets of the city on Holy Wednesday.

Wearing a blue velvet hood, the lucky man, who has been incarcerated in Alhaurín de la Torre prison for the last year, said: “I’m sure I will never return here and I thank Jesus El Rico for their kindness; this has helped me a lot.”

He claimed to be ‘’quite religious’’ and added he did not know why he had been chosen for the surprise pardon - but he was of course “very happy.”

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

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NISH PAPERS SAY

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

GUARDIA FIND BIGGEST EVER ETA ARMS CACHE

EXIT RIGHT, MR HAS-BEAN Polls that indicated more than 70% of Spaniards feel Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero was right to announce he will not stand for a third term as Prime Minister have been proved correct. New figures indicate that the ruling Socialist Party has halved the lead of the opposition conservatives since Zapatero said he would not seek re-election in 2012.

The PM announced on April 3 that he would not stand in the next general election and that "two terms are enough" and now his opponents, the Popular Party (PP), have a

double-figure lead over Mr Zapatero's Socialists. Tough measures over the past year as the government attempts to rein in public deficit and fight a 20% plus unemployment rate, the highest in the industrialised world, has seen Mr Bean drop down the polls.

The new poll, published last weekend in El Mundo newspaper, gave the PP a lead of just 7% over the Socialists depending on who replaces Mr Zapatero. This compares to 16.5% during the last poll published on March 9.

Guardia Civil lead away suspected ETA activist Igor Esnaola Masked members of the Spanish Guardia Civil have recovered the biggest-ever arms cache at an ETA safe house. But the discovery raised concerns that a splinter group of the violent separatist group were planning to break the seven-month ceasefire with an attack in Spain.

Security forces seized the bombmaking equipment, including 1,000kg of agricultural fertiliser, ammonium nitrate (used to make bombs) and detonators, from a farmhouse in the GuipĂşzcoa village of Legorreta.

Two local brothers, identified by police as Jose Aitor Esnaola, 40, and Igor Esnaola, 36, were arrested. They are also suspected of supplying weapons and explosives to the terrorist group and had been named in doc-

uments discovered in previous raids against ETA. Just two weeks ago, French police arrested two of the most-wanted ETA suspects after an exchange of gunfire in which a police officer was injured.

The two incidents have raised fears that the ceasefire declared by ETA last September and made "permanent" in January, is to be called off.

It would not be the first time as ETA broke its previous "permanent ceasefire", declared in March 2006, with a car bomb at Madrid airport in December 2006 that killed two people.

Speaking im Madrid, Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriquez Zapatero said the government was committed to continuing the fight "to reduce the possibilities" of any violent action.

HOUSE PRICES ARE NOW DROPPING FASTER IN BRITAIN THAN SPAIN According to a survey by estate agents Chesterton Humberts, in Britain the cheapest 20 per cent of properties saw prices fall by 5.1 per cent over last year, compared to just 1.9 per cent in Spain.

However, house prices in Spain overall have fallen by 17 per cent since 2007. And, according to the Bank of Spain, the country is now in its fourth year of drops.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

HIGH-RIDER CHLOE IS REIN AND ABLE! Easy Horse student's ABRS joy

Chloe, a 17year-old student at Easy Horse Care R e s c u e C e n t r e , recently completed her ABRS exams at the Centre – and is understandably thrilled at her achievement.

Easy Horse is the only riding school in the Costa Blanca to be a member of the Association of British Riding Schools, thereby offering pupils the opportunity to gain examinations recognised worldwide for anyone wishing to pursue a career with horses. ABRS examinations offer a wide-ranging testing system which enables pupils to build up worthwhile gradings and certificates in preparation for an equestrian career or taking up full-time training.

When Chloe came to the Rescue Centre and realised that they offered the chance to undertake ABRS exams, she knew it was an opportunity she couldn’t afford to miss and “jumped” at the chance to pass the test.

She initially arrived as a 16-year-old

student and volunteer - a year after leaving school without any qualifications. But she had a passion for horses and dreamed that she would one day be able to pursue a career with them.

Indeed, Chloe couldn’t picture herself doing anything else other than working with horses and was over the moon to be given the opportunity to begin work at the Centre.

Her hands-on role has seen her assisting with a wide range of tasks not only such as mucking out and helping with feeds but even assisting the Centre vet with operations. It makes her a valued member of the team and Chloe says: “Since I've been here I have been involved in the care of some wonderful horses. I helped to nurse Faith, who has recently been fitted with a temporary prosthetic limb and a horse named Pandora, who sadly we were too late to save. ''I have learned how to care properly for a horse’s needs and I am a committed member of the team. I would recommend other young people to get involved at the Rescue Centre; if anyone is interested in volunteering for a few hours a week or haves any ques-

tions about the Centre they can contact me on our Facebook page or e-mail me directly at info@easyhorsecare.net.

Alternatively please visit our website at www.easyhorsecare.net”.

Chloe, who speaks fluent Spanish also acts as interpreter for the Centre.

She works in close contact with the local police, councils and Seprona – the branch of the Guardia Civil responsible for the protection of animals. Should anybody come across any animal in distress and have difficulties with communication due to language barriers, Chloe can be contacted via the hotline number of 655 144 487 – whereby she will be on hand to help!

The Rescue Centre is expanding rapidly and is now home to 36 rescued horses, ponies and donkeys. Young people like Chloe are needed to carry on and progress the work of the Centre; volunteers who may be looking for a route into an equestrian career or anybody interested in work experience placements are encouraged to contact us on the above e-mail address.

To continue as a charity, we need your support!

Jokes What do you call a snake who works for the government?

A civil serpent.

What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?

A snake in the brass.

What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?

Stop beating a dead hearse.

Why did the bees go on strike?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.

Why do vampires use mouthwash?

To stop bat breath.

A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.

Why do ducks look so sad?

Because when they preen their feathers they get down in the mouth.

What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?

Fiddler on the hoof.

Why do people laugh up their sleeves?

Because that's where their funny bones are.

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

KIDDIES CORNER

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MEET ANNE THE ELEPHANT, WHO WAS RESCUED FROM A CIRCUS AFTER BEING BEATEN BY A WORKER....AND IS NOW SETTLING IN WELL AT HER NEW HOME Undercover footage showed Anne the elephant being kicked and hit by a man working at Bobby Roberts Super Circus.

Anne, who's thought to be 57 years old, has now moved to Longleat Safari Park - and she appears to love her new home. The park's Jonathan Cracknell said: "She's an old girl but she was playing like a calf yesterday. It's an amazing thing to see."

Moira Roberts, who runs the circus with her husband Bobby and their family, said they reacted with "shock and horror" when they saw the footage of Anne being abused. She said they knew nothing of what was going on, adding that the groom employed to care for the animal had left the circus overnight. "We wish we

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER TO BE CARTOON SUPERHERO Movie star and American politician A r n o l d Schwarzenegger has a new role - this time as a cartoon superhero!

The crime-fighting character will be called The Governator, Arnie's nickname when he was Governor of California.

The superhero leads a team of whizz kids from a secret den under his mansion and they use hi-tech gadgets. The series will see laser-beam eyes, a special spray that lets you use foreign languages and chewing gum that changes how you look.

SOME QUESTIONS TO MAKE YOU THINK Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

Why did they put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?

If it really is a small world, why does it cost so much to run it?

Is an angle a triangle with only two sides?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

had been given the opportunity to prosecute him and hand him over to the police," she said.

The RSPCA is investigating the incident which was secretly filmed by an animal rights group. Animals like Anne and have been a popular part of circus entertainment for hundreds of years - they used to be much more common than they are now. But increasingly people have started to worry about how they were looked after. There are already laws about how the animals need to be cared for - they must have regular food and water and enough space. And since Anne's mistreatment has come to light - the campaign to ban all animals from circuses is growing in strength and the government are seriously looking into banning it.

EARTH GETS 760 STORMS EVERY HOUR Scientists have done some number crunching and concluded that no fewer than 760 thunderstorms hit the earth every hour. That's an astonishing 18,240 per day! It sounds like a massive amount, but it's actually a lot lower than numbers experts have been using for nearly 100 years. Some parts of the world obviously get more storm action than others, and the research shows that the Congo basin in Africa is a hot spot.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

21

ALA 30 – FLOWERS, FRIENDLY SERVICE AND FABULOUS PLANTS Whether you want to just add a bit of colour to your garden, or transform it into a beautiful area in which to relax and enjoy the warm summer months, then Ala 30 is the place to come.

Situated on the N332, in San Javier, between Dos Mares shopping centre and Iceland is one of the best garden centres in the area. The plants on offer are all noticeably fresh and well cared for, from blooming petunias to fragrant fruit trees.

Ala 30 is a family run business, offering top quality plants and gardening equipment at unbeatable prices. The service always comes with a smile and the professional staff will do their utmost to answer your questions, give you advice and show you around.

There is a huge choice of plants on their 400 m² air-conditioned greenhouse, in which you will find everything, from magnolias, rubber plants and ivy, to unique species, all of which are looked after and renewed on a daily basis by the team of professional gardeners.

Ala 30 are ahead of the game when it comes to quality of outdoor plants, with a huge variety of tropical plants, shrubs, fruit trees, conifers and woodland trees, all very fine specimens. They also have hundreds of seasonal plants which will give your garden a beautiful touch of colour.

They have a large collection of bonsais and all you may need to grow and look after them. And also, a wide selection of cacti and similar species from all over the world.

In fact, Ala 30 has everything you may need for your garden, including tools, irrigation equipment, fittings, peat, pesticides, seeds, plant pots, hanging baskets, garden furniture, artificial grass, and even a wide selection of tasteful gifts, which would look good in any home.

And as if that wasn’t enough, there is even a small museum, inspired by the work carried out by their ancestors to harvest their land. There is a selection of carts, mills, and

other tools, most of which are over one hundred years old.

Ala 30 has been dedicated to gardening since 1990, with a great team of experienced workers. They have 9,000 m² of modern installations and a team of technical and professional staff who can also design and landscape your garden.

Ask at the reception for further information and unbeatable prices.

Ala 30 is developing a department especially for professional services which completely fulfil strict ecological laws which must be followed in Spain.

They also reform facades, carry out fireproofing treatments, wood and iron protective treatments, damp solutions, graffiti removal, and thematic concrete.

Why not pay them a visit. Just wandering around the installations is a great afternoon out, and if you take the ad below you will be entitled to a free sunhat.

Ala 30 is my favourite garden centre, and after a visit I'm sure it will be yours!

Sally Bengtsson.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WALTERS

Reader Bill Walters wrote to The Courier last week with his story of TWO water leaks – fortunately the tale finishes with a happy ending.

Dear Sirs, Having just picked up a copy of The Courier and read the terrible story of the couple with the huge water bill, I had exactly the same problem - but with a much different outcome. In January this year I arrived back from my Christmas holiday in the UK to a note from the water company telling me they had come to read the meter and noticed I had a water leak, so they turned my water off.

My initial reaction was to think it had been a mistake as on inspection of my property I could see no sign of water damage. So, know-it-all that I am, I turned the water back on.

Unfortunately I saw that, yes, I did have a problem judging by the lovely spinning meter.

We spent the first night back in Spain without water and the next morning I called the insurance company. I spoke to Leisa, who told me she would have a plumber sent out as a matter of urgency. She said that it could take up to 24 hours but as it was a weekday she was sure someone would be with us by the afternoon.

I told her I had no idea how long we had been losing water

for and that I was more than a little worried about the pending water bill. She told me not to worry as the house insurance we had taken out was a very good policy.

This was not the first time we had experienced a leak, and I knew that it was something to worry about as the last time I had to pay a bill of 563€! I was also wary that some insurance companies do not do all that they promise so I told my wife I would cancel the plumber I had already called since the insurance company were sending one.

My lovely wife, who was desperate for me to wash my feet, told me NOT to cancel our plumber as there was no way the insurance company were going to send someone the same day, and if they did - well, she would eat my smelly socks.

Two hours later Leisa called to make sure we were home as the plumber was on his way and would be with us within 20 minutes, which he was. Two plumbers actually, and I cringed as they began to tear my terrace apart to find the leak. ‘’Bloody Spanish’’, I thought. But the ‘bloody Spanish’ knew exactly what they were doing and found the leak. They had it fixed by lunchtime and the water back on. Two days later they returned and put everything back as it should be.

My wife didn’t eat my socks - but she did throw them in the washing machine.

Now all I had to worry about was the water bill. I didn’t

LOSING YOUR MARBLES? Don’t be floored by stains and damage – clean up with Simply Pro Floor Care

Mike Butler of Simply Pro Floor Care has been in the cleaning business for over 30 years and polishing, repairing and doing full restoration on marble in Spain since 2008. he is fully insured and registered to work in Spain, giving clients peace of mind – and has references both from Spain and the UK. As well as marble floors, Mike polishes and restores worktops, stairs, tables and fireplaces and can remove most stains. One of the most common problems he has to deal with is marks made on marble by fluids containing acid or acid cleaners. They

etch into the marble and no amount of cleaning can remove them; they need to be ground down and re-polished and this is no problem for Mike.

He is very happy to come and give you a no obligation demonstration, seeing for yourselves the brilliant

results that can be achieved on your marble before booking a job. Mike is based in Los Montesinos, near Torrevieja, and covers from Mazarron to Javea.

If you’d like a demo or if just want a chat with an expert, Mike is your man.

Give him a call any time on 691649515 and evenings on 966721331, or visit his web site www.simplyprofloorcare.com If you would like to email Mike on simplyprofloorcare@hotmail.com he can answer any questions, give you advice and will be happy to send you a marble care sheet.

have to worry too much as my insurance policy covered me up to 1000€ and all I had to do was take four water bills to Leisa at the Generali Spanish Insurance office.

She told me the claims department would work out my average water use and refund the difference. Again I have to admit that they would refund much as my last experience had seen me getting nothing. I collected the bills from the water company and took them to the insurance office in Quesada. Two weeks later I got a call form the very lovely Leisa telling me to pop into the office as she had a cheque for 738€. My water bill had been for 832€ - I was gobsmacked to say the least.

My advice to anyone who could do without the added burden of a huge water bill is to make sure your insurance policy is a very good one. Spanish Insurance in Calle Los Arcos, Ciudad Quesada gave me a cheaper quote than my old company, and as you have just read, a much better service.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all the girls at the Spanish Insurance office for the outstanding service.

Sincerely, Bill Walters

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Title: ADVICE: David was having some technical issues with Google’s toolbar Hi Richard, Having read your Computer Page in the Courier for the past few weeks, I thought that I'd send you a problem that I hope you can solve. I recently upgraded to Firefox 4 and prior to that I had no problems with my Google toolbar. However, since the upgrade, it's gone - well, partially. All I have on the Google toolbar line are a few tabs including translate, new tab and bookmarks. I've done what I thought were the obvious things to do such as uninstall and re-install - no effect. In fact, when downloading the toolbar, it states that it will be available after a restart, but on the restart, I get put back to the download box and in an endless loop. I've used the customise button on the toolbars option to drag the Google logo, search space, auto fill etc. onto the Google space. It works fine until I log off and on. Then it all reverts back to what it was before. I've looked on the Firefox Support website but cannot find anything related to this problem. Can you suggest anything other than using IE as I'm not a great fan of that browser?

Q

Hi David, it sounds to me like the Google toolbar is not saving its settings when you log off of Firefox because you mention that you can customise the toolbar to show what you want but when you close FireFox those customisations are lost. There is a way that you can save your Google toolbar settings to your Google account; this may be worth a try as everything that you have already done would be exactly what I would have done. You can find instructions on how to save your Google toolbar settings to your Google account by pasting this link into your browser - http://tinyurl.com/googletoolbar-courier

A

ADVICE: Paul was having repeated compact messages from Outlook Express Hi Richard, i am running XP with Outlook Express as my email account and for some reason lately , every 3 or 4 minutes i get a message on screen (with that annoying beep) to free up disk space Outlook Express can compact messages, this may take a few minutes.

When i click ok it can be up to 2 hours before the screen clears then the message beeps again. i have emptied all the message box's. I even thought of deleting Outlook Express completely and re installing but cannot find Outlook Express online to down load. Any suggestions please? Great articles by the way, most enlightening.

Q

Hi Paul, I assume that you have checked the obvious things, and you don’t have a hard disk space issue on your computer? If you have already checked this then the problem seems to be with Outlook Express and I think that we can help you fix this without having to go through the hassle of uninstalling and re-installing the program.

There is a registry key that can be used to tell Outlook Express not to ask this question again, I would warn that you should only go messing around in the Windows registry if you a) know what you are doing and b) are willing to accept the consequences of messing it up – if you are not confident then I would get hold of a computer engineer to help you. The key that you need to change is HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Identities\{identity}\Software\Microsoft\Outlook Express\5.0 and you should change the value of the “Compact Check Count” to zero.

A

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

Title: ADVICE: Denise was having problems with Gmail and Skype certificates

Q A

I have a problem with my laptop now that I just do not understand; It keeps coming up with "Certificate error”, this happens on Gmail and Skype especially.

Hi Denise, you mention that you get a certificate error in both Gmail and Skype? With regards to Skype, do you mean when you go to the Skype website or when Skype itself loads? With regards to this error when going to the Gmail page, I have seen this before and its usually releated to the time or date (or both) being out of date on your computer, to check this you should double click on the clock / calendar in the bottom right hand portion of your computer screen and check/adjust the settings to ensure that they are correct.

ADVICE: Brenda was discovering that peer to peer sharing can cause problems For the past 2-3 years I have been downloading TV programmes over the internet via UK. I have had no problems with downloading and seeding etc. until I returned home this week.

The problem I am encountering is that I can download the programmes, but I am not able to "seed". The message I am receiving is "Not connectable - a firewall/router is limiting your network traffic. You need to open up a port so others can connect to you". I haven't got a clue how to open up a port and would be loath to do anything in case it allows hackers on to my computer.

Q A

Hi Brenda, unless anything has changed (and you don’t say that it has) I would think that the likely cause of the “blockage” is your Internet Service Provider. What happens with this type of “peer to peer” sharing is that they rely on you “seeding” (uploading) any data that you have already downloaded, thus increasing the number of available data sources. Due to the large amount of data that this causes to move around the Internet, many Internet Service Providers restrict or block its flow to enable ‘legitimate’ data to flow (things like emails, web browsing etc) and I suspect that is what has happened in this case; you should therefore first contact your ISP and ask them whether there are any restrictions in place on your connection. If you have a laptop another easy way to check whether this is a block imposed by your ISP is to use a friend’s connection, and if you are able to ‘seed’ again then this further suggests that the problem is related to your connection.

Read Richard’s fantastic computer page only in Jungle Drums Magazine.

OUT NOW office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

GO SPANISH

As you will no doubt have noticed, Spanish cuisine is heavily influenced by seafood and there are numerous recipes making up traditional Spanish cuisine. But there are a few recipes that are considered common to almost all regions of Spain.

The world renowned ‘tortilla de patata’ also called ‘tortilla española’, paella, various stews, migas, sausages like chorizo, embutidos and morcilla, jamón serrano,

and various cheeses. Famous desserts include custard, rice pudding, torrijas, churros, madeleines and flan and one of the most famous regional dishes is Fabada Asturiana which is actually a stew made using large white beans, pork shoulder, morcilla, chorizo and saffron.

Authentic Spanish cooking is always done with olive oil and the other ingredients which are a must for a genuine Spanish meal are potatoes, tomatoes, pep-

pers and beans. The tradition of buying groceries from the market is still alive and well here in Spain, whereas in the UK for example the shopping malls are fast taking over.

Wine Wine has an important place in the Spainish culture - and ours if you’re doing it right! Spain is the third largest producer

of wine in the world and the best loved variety is Rioja which is a highly distinctive, full bodied wine available in red as well as white.

There is a very good custom, in my opinion, which we are sure you all share - and that is drinking wine while having meals in Spain. Ever healthy, the Spanish typically have a piece of fruit or a dairy product as dessert, although baked, cakes and tarts are often spared for special occasions.

Sweet beginnings Want to surprise your family by serving them a Spanish breakfast on a Sunday morning?

Since Spaniards believe in having a very small meal in the morning, the typical Spanish breakfast menu consists of nothing but a cup of coffee to which lots of frothy milk has been added, a slice of toast and a sweet pastry known as churros.

With toast, Spaniards prefer to take peach jam or sometimes some mild cheese, while churros are served with chocolate.

"Bollos", the Spanish sweet rolls and "Magdalenas", the lemon flavoured cupcakes, are consumed for breakfast by many. "Torrijas" - a sweet dish prepared with bread, milk and eggs - is another of the Spanish breakfast foods, which is very popular and is served in most of the eateries in Spain.

Spanish Breakfast Recipe for Torrijas oil and heat it on medium.

You will need • • • • •

Five slices of white bread One egg One cup of milk Vegetable oil Sugar, honey and cinnamon

Method Take a bowl and pour the milk in it. Add raw egg to the milk and beat them together.

Now, in a frying pan, put the vegetable

The oil should be sufficient for frying. Next, take one slice of bread and put it in the egg-milk mixture. Make sure to cover the bread from all sides with the mixture.

Now, lift the bread, either with your hands or with a fork and place it in the oil for frying. When one side of the bread turns golden brown, turn the side.

When it's golden brown on both sides, remove it from the oil. In the end, when all the slices have been made, serve them in a plate and sprinkle cinnamon, sugar and honey on top.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

GET PANNED! Impress your friends with an authentic Spanish Paella

THE WINE CELLAR

ALTO ALMANZORA ESTE 2008

Check out our simple recipe We couldn’t do a Spanish cuisine page and not include Paella, could we? Although many think of it as a Spanish dish, Paella is actually a Valencian dish, traditional to our region and therefore better here than anywhere else!

If you are from another planet (or have only just

arrived in the last hour or so in Spain) and are wondering what paella is, let me tell you that paella is a delicious rice dish made with vegetables, seafood, meat or all of the above.

There are mainly three types of paella, Valencian paella, mixed paella and seafood paella and below we’ve given you a simple recipe but remember to go and get a really big pan first!

What you’ll need

How to make it

•2 cups uncooked shortgrain white rice •1 tbsp paprika •2 tsp dried oregano •Salt and black pepper to taste •1 red bell pepper, coarsely chopped •2 tbsp olive oil, divided •3 cloves garlic, crushed •1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes •1 Spanish onion, chopped •1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined •1 bay leaf •2 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breasts cut into 2 inch pieces •½ bunch Italian flat leaf parsley, chopped •4 tbsp olive oil •2 lemons, zested •1 pinch saffron threads •1 pound chorizo sausage, casings removed and crumbled

Take a medium sized bowl and add 2 tbsp olive oil, salt, paprika, pepper and oregano to it. Mix the ingredients well and then add in chicken pieces to it. Stir well to coat and then refrigerate.

Meanwhile, heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a paella pan or large skillet over medium heat.

Add in rice, garlic and red pepper flakes, cook for about 3 minutes, stirring frequently to coat rice with oil.

After 3 minutes add in bay leaf, lemon zest, saffron threads, chicken stock and parsley. Bring to a boil and then reduce the heat to low, simmer for about 20 minutes. Till the chicken stock mixture is heating, heat olive oil in another skillet over medium heat.

When the oil heats, stir in

onion and chicken, cook for about 5 minutes and then add in onion and marinated chicken, for 5 more minutes.

Now add in sausage and bell pepper, cook again for 5 minutes and in the end add shrimp, and cook until shrimp turns pink on both sides.

While serving, first spread rice on a serving plate and top it with seafood mixture and meat.

Colour: Colour cherry picota intense violet tones.

Aroma: Powerful, clean, elegant and complex.

Toques smoky, spicy, black fruit (plum, blackberry), against a backdrop of mountain herbs and minerals dry.

Palate: Lots of red fruit (cherries, blackberries, etc) well integrated with the wood (vanilla, toffee) and hints of liquorice. Very fat volume, good structure, balanced and round.

Fruity aftertaste, long and very pleasant.

Price: around 5€

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

PLAYA FLAMENCA BEACH

75 euros you also have the added benefit of collecting your mail at your own convenience as The Newsbox is open daily from 9.00 am until 5.30 pm. Whether you are a visitor to the area or if you are looking for a gift idea there is a wide variety of souvenirs, gifts and jewellery to choose from, along with greeting cards from 1.50. With internet access and mobile top ups, Newsbox also stock a range of inkjet cartridges and stationery.

Let’s uncover the hidden secrets on offer at Playa Flamenca Beach Front, with an array of family run businesses it’s a charming little hideaway. Situated off the N332 Coastal Road, through Torreveija onwards towards La Zenia.

Known for its two beautiful beaches and fabulous promenade it has many features and a hot spot to visit this summer – but don’t tell everyone!

A warm, sunny welcome awaits you...

from sandwiches and baked potatoes with various fillings, to toasties or burgers. Of course there is also the popular all day breakfast from 4.50 euros.

Located on the seafront it’s an ideal oasis for locals and holidaymakers. Relax on the café patio area and try one of the delicious real fresh fruit smoothies or milkshakes. Or with temperatures soaring, a must to sample is the coke floats - a real treat for the kids and of course us adults.

Oasis Café Bar

Newsbox

Kiki Beach Beauty Salon and Fish Spa

You’ll be made to feel at home at The Oasis Café Bar, which is now under the new ownership of Diane and Mike, who look forward to meeting customers old and new.

Eat in or take-away there is a varied menu for beach snacks,

Walking through the doors of the Newsbox you will soon realise it’s more than just a newsagent.

This family run business which looks on to the fabulous promenade, is also a mini supermarket, ideal to stock up for days on the beach with ice cold beers and wine along with snacks and ice creams. It’s perfectly located, with a wide range of beach goods and accessories such as sun tan lotions, hats and inflatables - everything you need for fun in the sun, also a large selection of newspapers and magazines.

Mail boxes are available from

Newly opened on the fabulous Playa Flamenca Beach Front is Kiki Beach Beauty Salon and Fish Spa; with summer fast approaching this is an ideal location, with all the beauty treatments available, it’s the perfect retreat for that all important pampering.

Garra Rufa Fish Spa is proving very popular, a fantastic pedicure experience. Treat your feet, have magic toes, beautiful hands and nails.

Appointments can made at the salon for semi-permanent make up by June Hutchinson along with Botox, Restylane Dermal Fillers, Reflexology and Reiki. For vibration and sports massage Dimitri Masaje is available by appointment. Look Good Feel Great this summer at Kiki Beach. Find them on Playa Flamenca Beach, next to The Correos or check our website www.kikibeach.com

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

H FRONT

27

don’t tell everyone!

Franchesca Louise Interiors Established 5 years on the Costa Blanca, Franchesca Louise Interiors is home to a large selection of soft furnishings and fabrics in a variety of colours and styles to suit any décor. Whether it is traditional, modern or contemporary they offer a first class upholstery service including alterations and repairs for homes, gardens, bars, restaurants, hotels and boats. It’s certainly the place to visit if you’re planning a room make-over, window and furniture dressing, and those all important finishing touches to enhance your home. Franchesca Louise Interiors are Specialists in made-to-measure curtains, pelmets, stool and chair coverings, head boards, cushions and bedding. No job is too big or small and all work is done to meet requirements, professionally handmade on the premises. Why not browse round the shop and see the colourful range on display for home interiors - with Franchesca Louise available offering help and advice.

Cash in The Attic For a varied selection of quality used goods at very reasonable prices look no further than Cash in The Attic. They have built up a reputation over the years for their constant supply of furniture, beds, books, pictures, indoor and outdoor furniture they

cater for all. With stock changing daily, it’s a bargain hunter’s haven and certainly the place to visit, for an additional piece of furniture or that unusual item something will catch your eye.

Buying and selling anything is the motto and with the amount of customers going in and out of the shop it’s the place to visit.

Stock is always urgently wanted. Be it house clearances, removals or selling those unwanted items, contact Ewan on 634 350 904 or call into the shop where Stan is on hand to help.

Find them on Playa Flamenca Beach Front behind the Correos.

Surfers Bar and Grill With unrivalled views of the beach and the fabulous promenade, it’s no wonder Surfers Bar and Grill is ever so popular!

Whether you are dining day or night, the extensive new menu will tempt those taste buds - be it succulent steaks, pastas or seafood. Now with the eye-catching pool room and newlyopened cocktail bar adjacent to the restaurant, Surfers Bar is perfect for the lazy summer days. Relax on the sun terrace and enjoy a post-beach cocktail, try one of the many favourites like Pina Colada or Long Island Ice Tea or have a break from the sun and pot a few balls with a game of pool. Whether it's tuning in to a large-screen TV for a Premiership game or meeting up with friends for breakfast, lunch or dinner - Surfers Bar is an ideal top choice this summer.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

editor@thecourier.es Say it. Send it. Phone it. Mail it. or Forget it!

WHERE TO GO TO SURVIVE AN EARTHQUAKE Dear Ed. Do you remember that stuff about hiding under a table or standing in a doorway?

Well, forget it! I found this article and thought your readers might find it really interesting .

It could save your life someday.

Regards, Sue Reader

EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON 'THE TRIANGLE OF LIFE'

or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them - NOT under them.

This space is what I call the 'triangle of life'.

The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. Next time you watch collapsed buildings on television, count the 'triangles' you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape you will see in a collapsed building.

TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI ), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and am a member of many rescue teams from many countries. I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years, and have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, apart from simultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under his or her desk and crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene - unnecessary.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects

1) Almost everyone who simply 'ducks and covers' when buildings collapse is crushed to death. People who get under objects like desks or cars are crushed.

2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the foetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a bed, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.

3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake.

Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created.

Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in

earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out of the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the foetal position next to a sofa or large chair.

6) Almost everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed.

How? If you stand under a doorway and the door jamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jamb falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed.

7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different 'moment of frequency' (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. They are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may do later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8) Get near the outer walls of buildings or outside of them if possible - it is much better to be near the exterior of the building rather than the interior. The further inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.

9) People inside their cars are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes the vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the

decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside their vehicles – and were all killed.

They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their cars. All of them would have survived if they’d been able to get out and sit or lie next to the vehicle. Every one of the crushed cars had a void three-feet high next to it, except for those that had columns fall directly across them.

10) I discovered while crawling inside collapsed newspaper and other offices with a lot of paper that paper does not compact.

Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

Spread the word and save someone's life...

PAPERS & PAPERS Hola, My Mum and Dad have just been over for a few days and said you've got a newspaper out - so I went and found it. I live north of Alicante and they were right. They said it was the best they've seen for a long time and it is! Well done - good to see you’re giving the others a run for their money.

Also, we brought our Spanish car back and re- registered it here. Do you have you idea what I have to do about notifying the Spanish Trafico? We are back in August so wanted it get it sorted then. Any help or advice would be much appreciated.

Keep it up at The Courier!

Charlie.

Hi Charlie, I’ve sent you the details of someone who’ll be able to help. Many thanks for the kind words! ED.

STILL ON THE PULL? THE COURIER PUB & GRUB AWARDS 2011 We want to know because in August we will be holding The Courier pub & Grub awards for the region and we need you the reader to nominate your local…but only if they deserve it of course.

The six categories are: Bar of the year Barman/woman of the year Landlord/lady of the year

Best Value for money bar Best brekky Tastiest grub/Chef of the year We’ll be accepting nominations from now until the first of July and then our judges (who will have assessed each of the nominations) will announce the final five nominees in each category and invite them to attend the very first Courier Pub & Grub Awards.

The winners on the night will get a trophy, a prize and a load of publicity plus the right to brag for at least the next year!

So come on, who’s hot out there? Who’s cooking with gas and making your meal or drink that little bit more enjoyable?

We can accept nominations by email only and you MUST state your reasons for your choice and remem-

ber, the more you tell us the more chance we have of making an informed decision come the day.

We’ve had quite a few nominations in – but we want more!

Come on folks – does your local café bar serve your right?

TELL US @ office@thecourier.es or call on 96672 6437

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

NOT GOT A LICENCE GET A MICRO-CAR! Or maybe not…

Spike takes a look at the annoying little things on the roads and he doesn’t mean cyclists!

Despite annoying just about every other road user by driving slower than a arthritic

tortoise - they are, apparently an economical mode of transport , and one that is particularly attractive if not having a licence is an issue…or self-respect in my opinion.

As anybody that has spent time driving on

VAN-MAKERS CONFIDENT WORST IS OVER Europe the driving force in transition to sustainable transport The European commercial vehicle manufacturers are confident that the worst of the economic crisis is over and are once more focussing their innovative capacity on developing further the safety, fuel-efficiency and environmental performance of their vehicles.

Speaking at the annual ACEA Transport Policy Conference in Brussels, Leif Johansson stated: “The European commercial vehicle manufacturers are technology leaders and a driving force in the transition to sustainable mobility and transportation.”

Johansson is Chairman of the ACEA commercial vehicle board and President & CEO of Volvo Group.

Leif Johansson called on the EU policy makers to ensure an integrated and supportive industrial policy, while seeking optimal synergy with the Community’s transport, energy and trade policies. He also urged the EU to actively promote the global harmonisation of technical standards and measurement methods, to help industry benefit from economies of scale.

The commercial vehicle industry, furthermore, is seeking to work with policy makers to develop feasible policy measures to further reduce CO2 emissions from road (freight) transport. “Our industry operates globally and CO2 emissions are also a global challenge,” said Johansson. “With ACEA, we are developing an evaluation tool to calculate real-life CO2 emissions from trucks and buses ahead of purchase. Our initiative marks an important step in realising the commercial vehicle industry’s ‘Vision 2020’, announced back in 2008, pledging to further reduce CO2 emissions by 20% by 2020.

Market forces play an instrumental role in reducing CO2 emissions from road transport as fuel economy is the main purchasing factor for transport operators. The CO2 evaluation tool will help customers to choose the most fuel-efficient vehicle specification, involving issues such as engine-gearbox combination, aerodynamic features and tyre specification. The tool will also serve to provide stakeholders-at-large with essential insight in the complexity and variety of road transport.

Spanish roads will know, the Micro-Car, and what they are like - especially when you’ve been stuck behind one whilst driving on a narrow road…and you’re in a rush.

A Micro-car is basically a petrol engined, twin-cylinder featherweight city car that claims an average fuel consumption of 65mpg. On paper the given stats of the Microcar seem attractive and make good sense: It has a low weight, low emissions, low insurance, low running costs (Only let down by having a Low Performance). Hell, it's not even classed as a car – it's a quadricycle. Because it is classed as being under 550 Kgs in weight it is legal to drive one on the roads without having either a UK or Spanish Driving licence.

The Microcar is manufactured by the Groupe Bénéteau, a French based company better known for manufacturing boats. It started building small cars when France introduced a law that states you don't need a licence to drive certain small cars. They seem to be popular in rural Spain and other places where people basically want a scooter with a roof. For Almond farmers or those needing a little more space, there is a LWB four-seater version available, which is 275mm longer. Or a LWB two-seat version if you're greedy.

The facts Cost: Around 8,000€ Engine: 505cc 2-cylinder, 21bhp @ 5400rpm Transmission: CVT, Front Wheel Drive Performance: 0-60kmh…never in its wildest dreams Made of: Glass-Fibre and Metal Alloys Weight: 355Kg Dimensions: 2855mm Long / 1495mm Wide / 1455mm High A new EU Directive is due to come into force which states that each EU Member state can deem such vehicle to be driven on the road without the need for a license or not. Technically, you can drive a micro-car on the road in Spain if you hold a UK Provisional Licence; however, it is recommended that you seek appropriate advice from a micro-car dealer to receive advice that is relevant to you. We are waiting for clarification on this subject and will be posting further details when we have them.

TOP 5 GADGETS For happy motoring 1. You can’t enjoy your tunes if you’ve got a rubbish sound system - upgrade to a more modern one, better-sounding one? A singleDIN head unit that has both AUX and USB ports only costs around €5,000 while a pair of three-way speakers goes for roughly the same amount…that’s all.

2. Just €34,000 for a set of 17-inch wheels, a Concept One Prince set of wheels gives your car the necessary bling without having to break the bank...

OUT ON THE 5th EVERY MONTH

3. Buffalo 14-inch Foldable Lug Wrench.

With its cross-like design, the old-fashioned lug wrench often won’t fit inside a car’s tool box. This one solves that problem. Thanks to Buffalo, you might even look cool while you’re fixing a flat tire.

4. IPod. Or any other MP3 player, according to Top Gear Philippines consumer editor Botchi Santos. After all, if you’re stuck in traffic, the best way to chill out would be with a portable audio system that has at least 4-gigabytes worth of memory.

5. Why take risks? H20 manufactures waterproof items like cases, headphones and armbands. Handy too, if you’re headed on a road trip to the beach or the pool.

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Friday, 15th April, 2011

31

Thursday 21st April, 2011

TKO NEWS JOIN PAUL CUNNINGHAM'S NURSES TO CELEBRATE THE ROYAL WEDDING Friday 29th April at the market square, Rojales.

It all starts at 11am with entertainment and live music from local artists and TKO DJ's. The wedding will be screened live for all to view and enjoy the marriage.

There will be market stalls selling all sorts of items including international food, drinks. Fun for the children with games and competitions.

HOT GOSSIP

X FACTOR WINNER LEFT HIGH AND DRY Joe McElderry has been given the axe by Simon Cowell after his career failed to take off.

His label SyCo records have let the 19-yearold singer go just 16 months after he won TV talent show. He is now living back with his mum in South Shields while he plots his next move.

Joe became the first ever show winner not to top the Christmas chart when in 2009 he was famously pipped to the post by Rage Against The Machine and his last single, Someone Wake Me Up, only his third in total, limped to just 68.

It was the consistent poor record sales that persuaded label bosses to pull the plug and he has been informed that his contract will not be renewed when it expires next month.

A source said: "Joe's obviously really upset about what has happened. He had hoped he would be in it for the long haul, but it hasn't turned out like that. He's being comforted by his mum while he gets over the shock."

The spectacular fall from grace was illustrated last weekend when he was reduced to supporting Jedward at a free concert in Lisburn, Co Antrim. The dreadful duo finished six places behind Joe in the 2009 contest, but is on course to make £3million this year.

TKO Gold Featured Artist Paul Simon The organisers of Glastonbury Festival have announced that Paul Simon will appear at the rock festival this year. It is an addition which seems to have surprised many, as the 69 year old is not seen as a performer traditionally associated with this kind of event.

Simon is best known for his success, beginning in 1965, as part of the duo Simon & Garfunkel, with musical partner Art Garfunkel. Simon wrote most of the pair's songs, including three that reached number one on the US singles charts, "The Sound of Silence", "Mrs. Robinson", and "Bridge Over Troubled Water".[1] In 1970, at the height of their popularity, the duo split, and Simon began a successful solo career, recording three highly-acclaimed albums over the next five years. In 1986, he released Graceland, an album inspired by South African township music that helped fuel the anti-apartheid movement.

Through his solo and collaborative work, Simon has earned 13 Grammys, including the Lifetime Achievement Award. In 2001, he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and in 2006 was selected as one of the "100 People Who Shaped the World" by Time magazine. His pedigree as a songwriter cannot be denied and we think the Glasto crowd will love hearing all the classic songs he has contributed to the soundtrack of our lives..

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS Pop Quiz 21st April 1 Who had a hit with My Coo Ca Choo?

2 Which U.S. one hit wonder had a hit with Somebody’s Watching Me? 3 Which Scottish band sang I Don’t Want A Lover?

4 This British female artist had hits with Rise and Out Of Reach..

5 Which former Animals singer had a hit with Jarrow Song?

6 This singer had a hit with Poor Little Fool in 1957?

7 Which prolific American singer was born Francesco Paolo LoVecchio and was also known as Old Leather Lungs?

8 Which punk band had hits with My Perfect Cousin and Teenage Kicks?

9 Which Swedish singer songwriter sang Buffalo Stance?

10 Which female country star released Constant Craving in 1992?

11 This new wave singer was Watching The Detectives..

12 Which 60s band had a hit with Summer In The City?

FIND THE KEY WORD AND TO TAKE PART LISTEN TO CHRIS ASHLEY’S SHOW ON TKO GOLD, 8AM TO 11AM EVERY MONDAY. CHRIS WILL ASK YOU TO TEXT OR EMAIL IN THE KEY WORD AND THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK’S ANSWER WILL BE ANNOUNCED.

32

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week's puzzle, 17 represents D and 9 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

In this week’s Quickie crossword, all the answers are ANAGRAMS of the clue words: Across 1 Nibbles (5) 4 Puts on the market (5) 7 Accuracy (9) 8 Ill (4) 10 Happen (5) 12 Have a loan of (6) 13 Limbs (4) 16 Consciousness (9) 18 Dispatches (5) 19 Perhaps (5)

Down 1 Farm buildings (5) 2 Pinnacle (3) 3 Look for (4) 4 Swap (6) 5 Free time (7) 6 Transmit (4) 9 Sure (7) 11 Wraps (6) 12 Bills (5) 14 Vapour (5) 15 Appear (4) 17 Introvert (3)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Spins, 3 Costs, 6 Owl, 8 Certain, 9 Sent, 10 Models, 12 Master, 13 This, 16 Nearest, 17 Pan, 18 Diet, 19 Names.

Down: 1 Shots, 2 Sack, 3 Carton, 4 Spaceship, 5 Sings, 7 Landscape, 11 Seven, 12 Mined, 14 Sinks, 15 Stun.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Implied diplomacy protects one (5) 4 Tee, rough, gutter (6) 9 Salt in submarine rainwater (7) 10 Many sound prospects for prospectors (5) 11 Grind? Put right finally with lubrication (4) 12 Unspoilt old city in South African region (7) 13 Allow rent (3) 14 A warrior in the Cherokee tribe (4) 16 An instrument of love and honour (4) 18 We hear this boy of ours is a star (3) 20 Nearest damaged grave (7) 21 This is one indication left inside (4) 24 Roots about at the bottom of the trunk (5) 25 Whirling eel in enclosure (7) 26 Rearranged medals for a young lady (6) 27 Miss a trick (5)

Down 1 Boy at orchard’s entrance for fruit (6) 2 The Queen’s dog is caught by college head or an American soldier (5) 3 Very small team in New York, initially (4) 5 In connection with someone in the family?

(8) 6 Endure in the grip of the Thunder God (7) 7 Has a shilling to back the Spanish fight (6) 8 Seaside feature is a cover for illegal activities (5) 13 To the listener it’s an advance addition only (8) 15 A murder suspect, one hears? (7) 17 Frenzied cheat, editor admits (6) 18 Bad weather in which a pastor must go out (5) 19 Eagle you hear all over the place, is about three miles away (6) 22 Learner taking the Great North Road? He’s landed up in Scotland (5) 23 Learn from a book about placing a short advertisement (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Love apple (6) 2 Welsh breed of dog (5) 3 Minute (4) 5 Family member (8) 6 Experience (7) 7 Irritate (6) 8 Face (5) 13 Forlorn (8) 15 Tympanic membrane (7) 17 Frenzied (6) 18 Tempest (5) 19 Association (6) 22 Scottish landowner (5) 23 Understand writing (4)

Across 1 Unspoken (5) 4 Channel (6) 9 Seaman (7) 10 Ore deposits (5) 11 Drudgery (4) 12 Normal (7) 13 Give permission (3) 14 Brave man (4) 16 Double-reed instrument (4) 18 Star (3) 20 Serious (7) 21 Evidence (4) 24 Upper body (5) 25 Staggering (7) 26 Young unmarried woman (6) 27 Move in and out (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 7 Damage, 8 Target, 9 Keys, 10 Termites, 11 Caramel, 13 Nepal, 15 Cabin, 17 Parapet, 20 Debonair, 21 Tern, 23 Debase, 24 Errant.

Down: 1 Kale, 2 Nausea, 3 Heathen, 4 Stark, 5 Bruise, 6 Beverage, 12 Awakened, 14 Farrier, 16 Isobar, 18 Actors, 19 Cadet, 22 Rank.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Am As At Be Ma No 3 letter words AGM Aha Min Nat Ode Pot Sac Sad Sin Sue Sun

Won 4 letter words Ages Egad Mart Nero Ohms Trap 5 letter words Aches Adept Agree Alien Amass Argot Heron Maths Messy Salsa

Set-to Shrub Sight Stews Stone Sumps Testy Treat 6 letter words Leaned Sashes 7 letter words Dahlias Ghillie 8 letter words Stencils Telecast

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 7 Cheap (inexpensive) (6) 8 Cebada (6) 9 Jaula (para animales) (4) 10 Stepson (8) 11 Volcán (7) 13 To be born (5) 15 Down (physical movement) (5) 17 Pigeons (7) 20 Montaña (8) 21 Cinturón (4) 22 Vulture (6) 23 Plata (metal) (6)

Down 1 Married (person) (6) 2 Coffee (4) 3 Nada (ninguna cosa) (7) 4 Bee (5) 5 Transfer (move) (8) 6 Grado (nivel) (6) 12 Small cushion (8) 14 Tristeza (7) 16 Hinchar (globo) (4,2) 18 Dormido (6) 19 Sueldo (semanal) (5) 21 Campana (de iglesia, puerta) (4)

33

Thursday, 21st April, 2011 Across 1 Which alloy of iron with small amounts of carbon, is widely used in construction? (5) 4 What name is normally given to the members of a jury? (6 9 What was the surname of the Chilean statesman, president from 1970 to 1973, who was the first avowed Marxist to win a presidency in a free election? (7) 10 In tenpin bowling what name is given to the act of knocking down all the pins with two balls? (5) 11 See 23 Down 12 What is the name of the wine cup used in the Christian Eucharist? (7) 13 What was the surname of the American short-story writer, poet, and critic whose most notable works include The Fall of the House of Usher, The Murders in the Rue Morgue and The Raven? (3) 14 What was the name of Tarzan’s girlfriend? (4) 16 What name is given to a shoemaker’s model for shaping or repairing a shoe or boot? (4) 18 What was the first name of baseball star DiMaggio and snooker champion Davis? (3) 20 What was the title of John Lennon’s second British number one hit single and his 1970 best-selling album? (7) 21 Which country in the South Pacific consists of a group of around 840 islands, of which only about 100 are inhabited? (4) 24 Which solid-hoofed plant-eating domesticated mammal with a flowing mane and tail, is used for riding, racing, and to carry and pull loads? (5) 25 What is the name of the inflatable life jacket that is

Quiz Word

named after an American film actress noted for her large bust? (3,4) 26 What was the surname of the manager of England’s 1966 World Cup winning team? (6) 27 What name is given to the daughter of one’s brother or sister? (5)

SUDOKU

Down 1 What is the surname of the cartoonist who created the schoolgirls of St Trinian’s? (6) 2 What is the first name of US comedienne DeGeneres? (5) 3 Which industrial city in northern Austria, lies on the River Danube, and is the capital of the state of Upper Austria? (4) 5 What word means prone to psychiatric problems or sudden changes of mood? (8) 6 What is the name of the female reproductive organs in which eggs are produced? (7) 7 What is the surname of the American folk musician and songwriter, who composed If I Had a Hammer and Where Have All the Flowers Gone? (6) 8 What is the informal term for reconnaissance? (5) 13 Which lapdog is a short-legged breed with long hair and a snub nose, originally brought to Europe from the Summer Palace at Beijing in 1860? (8) 15 What word, phrase or name is formed by rearranging the letters of another? (7) 17 Which musical instrument consisting of a flat wooden soundbox with numerous strings stretched across it, is placed horizontally and played with the fingers and a plectrum? (6) 18 What name is often given to the short crowbar used by a burglar to force open a window or door? (5) 19 By what other name is the hallux also known? (3,3) 22 What was the forename of comedy actress Ms Handl?

(5) 23/11 What is the name of the former St Helens and Great Britain rugby league scrum half who was banned for three months in 2004 for betting against his own team? (4,4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Countries

Match these English and Spanish names of countries (answers below), then try and find the Spanish names in the wordsearch. Buena suerte!

1. Alemania , 2.Grecia,

17.Inglaterra, 18. Escocia,

i.Sweden, j.Ireland, k.USA,

3.Suecia, 4.Suiza,

19.Francia, 20.Irlanda,

l.Hungary, m.Turkey,

5.Arabia Saudi, 6.Estados

21.Gales, 22.Marruecos.

n.Denmark, o.Ireland, p.Holland,

Unidos, 7.Belgica, 8.Dinamarca,

1. Who landed on Timor Island after being cast adrift?

2. What was unusual about convict 2599 who was doing time in Pen State prison 1924?

3. What was Bumper Harris' (who had a wooden leg) job on the London Undergorund?

4. Angelo Scicilano was better known as who?

5. Who designed the WW 1 plane the Camel and co designed the Hurricane?

6. Who was poisoned, shot and drowned in the Neva River in 1916?

7. The Blur Max medal was named after Max who?

8. What country did Italy invade in 1935?

9. Only 6 people died in what historic event?

10. The Mau Mau were terrorists in which country during the late 50's early 60's?

1. Captain Bligh 2. It was dog doing life for killing a cat.

3. To ride new escalators to prove they were safe. 4.

Charles Atlas 5. Thomas Octave Murdoch Sopwith 6.

Rasputin 7. Max Immelmann 8. Abyssinia - Ethiopia 9.

Fire of London 1666 10. Kenya

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Sprat, 4 Lamour, 9 Evil eye, 10 Santa, 11 Lynx, 12 Mitford, 13 SOS, 14 Chic, 16 Axle, 18 Don, 20 A A Milne, 21 Cent, 24 Ghent, 25 Ocarina, 26 Rosary, 27 Edsel.

Down: 1 Stella, 2 Reign, 3 Them, 5 Alsatian, 6 Own goal, 7 Rwanda, 8 Beams, 13 Sculptor, 15 Hammers, 17 Badger, 18 Defoe, 19 St Paul, 22 Emirs, 23 Babe.

9.Paises Bajos, 10.Noruega,

a.Greece, b.Romania,

t.Norway, u. Finland, v. UK,

11.Finlandia, 12.Reino Unido,

c.Morocco, d.Saudi Arabia,

w. Scotland, x. France.

13.Turquia, 14.Rusia,

e.Germany, f.Belgium,

15.Rumania, 16.Hungria,

g.Switzerland, h.Wales.

B L U S A U D I F I S Z A K Z

I GRE CI S N O S WS P UGNE A A Y E L I L P I A CA E OGNNI T DA DA A A R I WWM I A MS OC E RL A NDA ODI NUC S OJ A B I GE URON GQUUCF M T D WZ A Soduko

A A F DA E A O QI S I I S S D NCA NNT E I RORA A A S N D C A MMD I U RS B A UOA I E E I RRS P D Q R A C O H WG U R R A MB A A L QL A E I I H I A RL S RA H DP GUGK J K DI RNT E J X CS UI Z A CC B HZ E S DDB Span - Eng

Answers: 1e, 2a, 3i, 4g, 5d, 6k, 7f, 8n, 9p, 10t, 11u, 12v, 13m, 14r, 15b, 16l, 17q, 18w, 19x, 20j, 21h, 22c.

history QUIZ

q. England, r. Russia, s. Finland,

ALEMANIA ARABIA BAJOS BELGICA DINAMARCA ESCOCIA ESTADOS FINLANDIA FRANCIA GALES GRECIA HUNGRIA INGLATERRA Quizword

IRLANDA MARRUECOS NORUEGA PAISES REINO RUMANIA RUSIA SAUDI SUECIA SUIZA TURQUIA UNIDO UNIDOS Fill It In

34

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Horoscopes I FEEL LIKE A GEEK

ROYAL WEDDING FIESTA! Calling all traders - get a stall now - going fast €40 for 5 metres - Fiesta in Rojales market car park Friday 29th April smaller pitches considered - call 639 318 526 NOW to book or email sueinthesun@hotmail.c o.uk or call Linda on 966 716 919

Dear Tia Maria.

My name is Zara and I am nearly 15 years old. All my friends go out clubbing and partying every weekend.

They all drink and have boyfriends and most of them have had sex already. I feel that I should be doing the same thing but I am not really sure that I want to. Does that sound mad? I always feel like they think I am a bit of a geek but they still ask me to go everywhere with them and I always have an excuse not to go. My parents have a great social life which I am always included in and I enjoy this very much. Then, when I hear what a great time my friends have had and how really drunk they got and what sort of boys they were with, I do feel a little bit jealous.

I have to admit as well that I don’t really like drinking. They all like vodka and stuff like that and I really don’t. They all say none of them did to start with and they just got used to it. Is that what I should be doing? It all seems a bit silly to me but then I am the one at home, parts of me wishing I was with them.

Please tell me what I should be doing.

Thanks Tia Maria says: Hi Zara Thank you for your letter. I must admit for a 14 yearold, you have a lot to think about and I am sure it took a lot of courage to write this letter. Boys, clubbing and vodka do all sound really exciting and tempting - but they will always be there. You know already that you don’t like vodka, so that is one thing you can tick off your list. So, boys and clubbing. At only 14...sorry, nearly 15, you should not really be in clubs - but I am sure you already know that or it would not seem so exciting.

Boys will always be boys, the nice ones never ask you for anything and the bad boys always seem so appealing! These things in life are all about learning how and when you want to experience things, when they are right for you. I think you already know all the answers to your questions; you would just like to hear it from someone else.

You can do all these things when you are older. If you’re not really unhappy with your life as it is, give it some time before you rush out clubbing and trying to find the right boyfriend.

I hope this helps, Tia Maria PS. This does not make you a geek; it makes you very lucky to have a complete life without looking for something else. Enjoy your life for what it is - and remember that if they are real friends they will not put you under any pressure to do what you don’t want to. Take care for now.

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 Express yourself, do a backflip, try to do the splits. Dance and the world will be yours.

The newspaper will become a source of great amusement this week as an article tickles your fancy in almost every way.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 I'll always be indebted to you for reading this horoscope, I hope you know that. Visiting a particular website and clicking on an advert you see, may help pay for future emails you receive. All this week you are set for uncontrollable setbacks to all your plans.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 The Latin phrase for what you're feeling right now is: ‘Non semper inquisit damascus aroooooo!’. There's a little bit of dog language mixed in there too. Your future may be tainted by a mistake in your past. Now is the time for a new resolution. The pain in your foot will lessen today as the pain in your hand grows.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Your nature may give you a day off this week as you brutally attack the guy who's been purposefully pissing you off for the last year.

When faced with life's problems you generally prefer to stride in with both boots kicking. However, if today's ‘life problem’ is that you stepped in lots of dog poo, please try not to kick so wildly.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Places like Megacity and Coolopolis don't exist... but they do, inside the head of the person stood nearest to your right this second. Damaging words reach your ears after a disagreement over a neighbour's pets.

Damaging ‘poo’ will be flung back across the garden fence if the issue is not resolved within the next few weeks.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Whilst we are not all superhuman, some of us are at least able to go to sleep without pissing ourselves in the night. When hankering for some food you may decide to experiment with various plants - avoid those with three leaves. Anything someone says today that is unkind is probably meant in jest, you ugly bastard.

Libra September 23 - October 22 The best way to fool a man into giving away a biscuit is to let him know that you know where it's been. Don't give any details, just let it casually be known that you "know where it's been". How is this relevant to you today? You'll see. You and biscuits are going to be inseparable.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 You will feel an overwhelming desire to kiss everyone in sight today. You must decide how to continue. Sleep deprivation can affect you negatively today, so ensure you murder all the dogs in your area for a guaranteed good night's kip. If you never liked sprouts before, try them again. Your tastes may have changed.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 You are ready for a fall this week after some good luck in the recent past. You are a beautiful creature - don't let any other pretty bitch tell you otherwise.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Always make time to shop for car insurance.

It will make your day more fulfilling.

Someone will approach you today with an attitude you cannot get on with at all.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Cats can eat mice but can't dogs also? This kind of nonsense querying, coming from an older person than you, will start to grate today. Food is a cheap source of food. Eat well. Fire is your symbol for today.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 God is very much a vengeful God, so watch out for falling pianos. (God is also a Laurel and Hardy fan.) You will be provoked by a spotty teenager. Don't rise to him. If you're ignorant are you blessed? Only with ignorance, my stupid friend.

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

35

WHAT’S ON THE TELLY..?

Emmerdale

Some of this week’s highlights The Making of Elton John: Madman across the Water Friday 22nd April 10:00pm BBC4 Four hours, four programmes - and they don't tell half the story of the 64-yearold singer. But they have a very good go, starting with this documentary.

March of the Dinosaurs Saturday 23rd April 6:00pm ITV1, HD Stephen Fry narrates a feature-length animated tale of a young dinosaur's epic slog from the snowy wastes of the Arctic to sunnier climes.

ITV1 Thursday, April 21st, 9:00pm to 9:30pm Charity remains defiant as Cain is arrested. Kelly thinks it is time that Jimmy told Elliot about their connection. Will Leyla and Alicia finally bury the hatchet?

Sunday 24 April 8:30pm - 9:00pm ITV1 London Corrie heads to London where Sean finds his soulmate and his son, Todd returns, John goes missing, Xin does a runner, Eddie plans to leave, Ken invites grandson James to move in, and Tommy coaches Tyrone in attracting the ladies.

Easter from King's Passiontide to Easter Day Sunday 24th April 6:45pm BBC2, BBC HD Arguably the best of today's many Easter programmes, this is the King's College Choir offering treats including Allegri's Miserere and extracts from Handel's Messiah.

Saturday 23 April 9:10pm - 10:10pm Channel 5 Grissom struggles to maintain a professional outlook while investigating the kidnap of a baby from a wealthy Las Vegas family. As he and the team call on all their resources to delve deeper into the case, it becomes clear they have not been told the full story.

36

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Thursday 21st April 00:55 See Hear 01:25 Watchdog 02:25 Natural World 03:25 BBC News 03:30 Click 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Panorama 05:00 The World Today 05:30 World Business Report 06:00 Breakfast 09:15 Animal 24:7 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 10:45 The Royal Maundy Service at Westminster Abbey 12:15 Bargain Hunt 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:30 Regional News and Weather 13:45 Doctors 14:15 Escape to the Country 15:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15:05 Gastronuts 15:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 16:00 Project Parent 16:30 My Life: Boy Racers 17:00 Newsround 17:15 Weakest Link 18:00 BBC News 18:30 Regional News Programmes 19:00 The One Show 19:30 EastEnders 20:00 Watchdog 21:00 New Tricks 22:00 BBC News 22:25 Regional News and Weather 22:35 Jon Venables: What Went Wrong?

23:25 The Color of Money BBC2 00:10 02:10 02:30 03:00 03:25 04:00 06:00

Snooker Extra BBC News Our World BBC News Close GCSE Bitesize Revision Finley the Fire Engine

06:10 Zigby 06:20 The Large Family 06:35 Little Robots 06:45 Charlie and Lola 07:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 07:25 Newsround 07:30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 07:45 League of Super Evil 08:00 Copycats 08:30 LazyTown 08:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 09:05 The Koala Brothers 09:20 Guess with Jess 09:30 Big & Small 09:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 10:05 Mightymites 10:15 Green Balloon Goes on Holiday 10:40 Waybuloo 11:05 In the Night Garden 11:35 The Pink Panther Show 12:00 Animal Park 13:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 17:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00 Eggheads 18:30 Great British Menu 19:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 20:00 The Animal’s Guide to Britain 21:00 A History of Celtic Britain 22:00 Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience 22:30 Newsnight

23:20 Snooker: The World Championship

Through India

23:30 The Ricky Gervais Show

C4

C5

00:10 Abbey Road Debuts 00:30 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 00:45 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:00 Face of Britain 01:55 The Da Vinci Detective 03:50 Decoding Da Vinci 04:45 Hill Street Blues 05:35 Countdown 06:20 The Hoobs 07:10 Freshly Squeezed 07:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:05 Frasier 08:35 Friends 09:05 Wife Swap USA 10:00 Brothers & Sisters 10:55 The Restoration Man 12:00 Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 Make Do & Mend 12:35 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 Fern 18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Hollyoaks 19:00 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Three in a Bed 21:00 The Sex Education Show: Stop Pimping Our Kids 22:00 10 O’Clock Live 23:05 The Big Bang Theory

00:55 SuperCasino 04:00 Meals in Moments 04:10 How Not to Decorate 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Wildlife SOS 05:35 House Doctor 06:00 Thomas & Friends 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 06:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 06:40 Rupert Bear 06:50 Peppa Pig 06:55 Milkshake! Music Box 07:00 Little Princess 07:15 The Mr Men Show 07:30 Thomas & Friends 07:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 08:15 Peppa Pig 08:30 Roary the Racing Car 08:40 Olivia 08:50 The WotWots 09:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15 The Wright Stuff 11:05 Bridezillas 12:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 12:10 5 News Lunchtime 12:20 Law & Order 13:15 Home and Away 13:45 Neighbours 14:15 The Vanessa Show 15:05 The Family Recipe 15:15 McBride: Murder Past Midnight 17:00 5 News at 5 17:30 Neighbours 18:00 Home and Away 18:25 OK! TV 19:00 5 News at 7 19:30 How Do They Do It? 20:00 Gladiator: The True Story 21:00 Most Shocking Talent Show Moments

ITV 00:40 The Zone 02:45 Thirteen 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:30 ITV Morning News 06:00 Daybreak 08:30 Lorraine 09:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 This Morning 12:30 Loose Women 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:55 Meridian News and Weather 14:00 60 Minute Makeover 15:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 15:59 Meridian Weather 16:00 Midsomer Murders 17:00 Britain’s Best Dish 18:00 Meridian Tonight 18:30 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Emmerdale 19:30 The Great British Wedding: Tonight 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Long Lost Family 22:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 22:35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Russell Brand 23:35 Caroline Quentin: A Passage

LONG LOST FAMILY New series. Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell present a show aiming to help people reunite with long-lost relatives.

Jennifer Wilson from Rotherham tells of her search for the twin sister from whom she was separated at birth, and Karen Lloyd from Warwickshire discusses how she has spent the past 20 years trying to track her father down.

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Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Friday 22nd April 00:25 The Color of Money 02:25 The Trillion Dollar Con-Man: Panorama 02:55 Countryfile 03:50 Antiques Roadshow 04:50 Neighbourhood Watched 05:35 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 What’s the Point of Forgiveness?

11:00 The Story of Jesus 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:20 Regional News and Weather 14:30 The Prince of Egypt 16:00 The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement 17:50 Enchanted 19:30 BBC News 19:50 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 QI 23:00 BBC News 23:20 Regional News and Weather 23:30 The Graham Norton Show bbc2 00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 BBC News 03:30 On the Road with a Brain Scientist 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 Secondary Schools - GCSE Bitesize: Additional Science 1 06:00 GCSE Bitesize: Additional

Science 2 07:00 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:25 Postman Pat 07:50 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 08:45 League of Super Evil 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:20 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Green Balloon Goes on Holiday 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Animal Park 13:30 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 21:00 Gardeners’ World 22:00 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens

23:00 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated 23:30 The Village itv 00:35 Caroline Quentin: A Passage Through India 01:30 The Zone 03:35 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Dinner Date 11:20 This Morning: Easter 12:15 Loose Women 13:00 Murder, She Wrote: South by Southwest 14:40 ITV News and Weather 14:50 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Rosemary & Thyme 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Baboons with Bill Bailey 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Paul O’Grady Live

THE MILLION POUND DROP LIVE New series. Davina McCall presents the quiz show in which contestants can win a million pounds. They are challenged to place large quantities of the cash over trapdoors and face a series of questions, the wrong answers to which will lose them money every time they slip up. Former England cricketer Andrew `Freddie' Flintoff and wife Rachael take part in the first edition, playing for a charity of their choice.

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Take Me Out C4 00:05 00:30 01:05 2011 01:25 01:40 01:55 04:05 04:30 06:20 06:35 07:20 08:15 08:40 09:05 09:35 10:05 11:00 11:55 13:00 13:30 16:10 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00

The Big Bang Theory The Ricky Gervais Show Snowbombing Road Trip The JD Set: London Elbow: Rocket Science Raavanan Unreported World Decoding Da Vinci Truel Countdown The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Friends Wife Swap USA Brothers & Sisters Gok’s Fashion Fix Make Do & Mend Come Dine with Me Countdown Deal or No Deal Fern The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News

20:25 20:30 21:00 Away 22:00 23:00

4thought.tv Unreported World A Place in the Sun: Home or Embarrassing Bodies The Million Pound Drop Live

C5 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Colin and Justin’s How Not to Decorate 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 CSI: NY 13:50 5 News Lunchtime 14:00 Home and Away 14:30 Neighbours 15:00 Animal Rescue Squad 15:20 Barabbas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 Cowboy Builders 20:10 The Wedding Singer 22:00 Made of Honor

38

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Saturday 23rd April 00:15 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:25 The One Show 01:25 Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!

01:25 Weatherview 03:00 Michel Roux’s Service 04:00 The Boat That Guy Built 04:30 Great British Railway Journeys 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 12:45 Football Focus 13:30 Match of the Day Live 16:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 17:30 Final Score 18:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:25 Don’t Scare the Hare 19:00 Doctor Who 19:45 So You Think You Can Dance 21:00 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 21:50 So You Think You Can Dance 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day BBC2 01:10 Later with Jools Holland 02:15 Snooker: The World Championship 03:05 Snooker Extra 05:05 Close 07:00 Octonauts Special - The

Great Penguin Race 07:20 Bob the Builder 08:10 One Minute Wonders 08:40 Arthur 09:05 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 10:30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 11:00 Relic: Guardians of the Museum 11:30 League of Super Evil 11:40 Wolverine and the X-Men 12:05 Mortified 12:25 Living with Alcohol: A Newsround Special 12:45 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Spirited Away 15:00 Being Alice - Adventures in Wonderland 15:30 Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland 17:30 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Dad’s Army 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 21:00 The Belfast Blitz 22:00 Ruth Jones’ Easter Treat 22:45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

23:30 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated ITV 00:15 The Cube 01:15 The Zone 03:15 In Plain Sight 04:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 This Morning: Saturday 13:45 Monk 14:45 ITV News and Weather 14:49 Meridian Weather 14:50 Arthur 2: On the Rocks 17:00 You’ve Been Framed!

17:30 Meridian News and Weather 17:45 ITV News and Weather 18:00 March of the Dinosaurs 20:00 Sing if You Can 21:00 Britain’s Got Talent 22:00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Patsy Palmer 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Along Came Polly C4 00:25 10 O’Clock Live

BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT Ant and Dec host the second audition show, with another line-up of acts eager to win the prize of £100,000 and a slot at this year's Royal Variety Performance. Judges Amanda Holden, Michael McIntyre and David Hasselhoff have their fingers poised over the buzzers as contestants of all ages demonstrate their singing, dancing and other more unusual talents.

01:30 Album Chart Show Special: Chipmunk 02:00 4Play: Fenech-Soler 02:10 My Name Is Earl 03:00 Freaky 03:50 Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star 05:30 Ugly Betty 06:00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 FIM Superbike World Championship 08:30 British Formula 3 International Series 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Friends 10:25 Koko Pop 10:55 Arthur: T4 Movie Special 11:25 Glee 12:25 Great British Hairdresser 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 River Cottage Best Bites 21:00 Meet the Middletons 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:20 Stand Up for the Week

C5 00:00 The Walking Dead 01:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Nick’s Quest 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:10 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 08:15 Chiro 08:20 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:30 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:35 Noddy in Toyland 08:45 Hana’s Helpline 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Play!

09:40 Milkshake Monkey 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 How Do They Do It? 11:30 The Gadget Show 12:30 Essex Jungle 13:35 Slappy and the Stinkers 15:05 Tinker Bell 16:35 Hook 19:25 5 News Weekend 19:30 NCIS 21:10 CSI: Grissom’s Greatest 22:10 CSI: Miami 23:10 CSI: NY

39

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Sunday 24th April 00:50 The Football League Show 02:20 BBC News 02:30 On the Road With 03:00 BBC News 03:30 HARDtalk 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Easter Day Eucharist from Salisbury Cathedral 12:00 Urbi et Orbi 12:35 The Story of Jesus 13:35 BBC News 13:45 Escape to the Country 14:30 Mary Poppins 16:45 Life of Riley 17:15 Life of Riley 17:45 Lifeline 17:55 Points of View 18:10 Songs of Praise 18:45 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:15 Land Girls 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Britain’s Royal Weddings 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Bee Gees: In Our Own Time BBC2 00:00 Nurse Jackie 00:30 Later with Jools Holland

01:30 Snooker: The World Championship 02:20 Snooker Extra 04:20 Close 07:00 Bob the Builder: Built to Be Wild 07:55 Let’s Celebrate 08:10 One Minute Wonders 08:40 Arthur 09:05 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:35 Gimme a Break 10:10 Bear Behaving Badly 10:30 Me and My Monsters 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 MasterChef 13:30 EastEnders 15:25 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:45 Easter from King’s Passiontide to Easter Day 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 20:45 Top Gear Bolivia Special 22:00 United 23:35 Match of the Day 2

03:50 Swingtown 04:35 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Sing if You Can 12:25 This Morning: Sunday 13:25 Dinner Date 14:25 ITV News and Weather 14:29 Meridian Weather 14:30 Columbo: Try and Catch Me 16:00 Britain’s Got Talent 17:00 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 19:05 Meridian News and Weather 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 The Cube 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Perspectives: Looking for Lowry

ITV

C4

00:50 The Cube: Celebrity Special 01:45 The Zone

00:05 Rising Sun 02:25 Mesh

LEWIS

02:40 The Sex Education Show: Stop Pimping Our Kids 03:35 Coming Up: The Future Wags of Great Britain 04:05 Running in Heels 05:10 Ugly Betty 05:55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 The Grid 08:30 Freesports on 4 08:55 Friends 10:00 Hollyoaks 12:30 Being N-Dubz in America and Beyond 13:00 Example: Video Exclusive 13:05 Glee 14:05 The Simpsons 15:40 Home Alone 3 17:35 Deal or No Deal 18:30 Time Team 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Come Dine with Me 21:00 The Hotel 22:00 Country House Rescue 23:00 Elizabeth

When a local businesswoman is bludgeoned to death, it appears to be a blackmail plot gone wrong. However, as the body count rises, Lewis and Hathaway realise there is a decades-old secret at the heart of the case, which they must uncover to bring the present-day murders to a halt. Detective drama, guest starring Anna Chancellor and Cherie Lunghi, with Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox. Last in the series.

C5 00:10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:05 SuperCasino 05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Nick’s Quest 05:35 HouseBusters 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:10 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Hana’s Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 Milkshake Monkey 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Family!

09:30 The Mr Men Show 09:50 Thomas & Friends 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 K-9 11:50 OK! TV Sunday 12:50 Family Food Fight 13:20 The Hotel Inspector 14:25 Genghis Khan 16:55 William & Kate 18:45 5 News Weekend 18:55 Bewitched 20:50 Ghost Busters 23:00 The Walking Dead

Monday 25th April 00:25 TOTP2: Bee Gees Special 01:10 The Graham Norton Show 02:00 Britain’s Royal Weddings 03:00 Holby City 04:00 The Baby Born in a Concentration Camp 04:30 The Record Europe 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 When Royals Wed 10:45 Homes Under the Hammer 11:45 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:00 Bargain Hunt 13:45 BBC News 14:05 Regional News and Weather 14:15 Muppet Treasure Island 15:45 Chicken Run 17:05 Bee Movie 18:30 All New Total Wipeout: Celebrity Special 2 19:30 BBC News 19:50 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 William and Kate: A Royal Wedding 22:00 MasterChef: The Final Three 23:00 BBC News 23:10 Regional News and Weather 23:15 QI 23:45 A Question of Sport BBC2 00:00 Nurse Jackie 00:30 Later with Jools Holland

01:30 Snooker: The World Championship 02:20 Snooker Extra 04:20 Close 07:00 Bob the Builder: Built to Be Wild 07:55 Let’s Celebrate 08:10 One Minute Wonders 08:40 Arthur 09:05 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:35 Gimme a Break 10:10 Bear Behaving Badly 10:30 Me and My Monsters 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 MasterChef 13:30 EastEnders 15:25 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:45 Easter from King’s Passiontide to Easter Day 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 20:45 Top Gear Bolivia Special 22:00 United 23:35 Match of the Day 2

01:15 Premiership Rugby Union 02:00 The Zone 03:00 Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Dinner Date 11:20 This Morning: Easter 12:15 Loose Women 13:00 The Borrowers 14:40 ITV News and Weather 14:50 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Inspector Morse 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Suspicions of Mr Whicher

04:05 Secret Life of the Classroom 05:00 Leaving Home at 8 05:55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:20 Countdown 07:05 The Hoobs 07:55 Freshly Squeezed 08:20 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:45 Frasier 09:15 Friends 09:40 Wife Swap USA 10:35 Seven Ages of Britain 11:35 The Ten Commandments 15:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:15 4thought.tv 20:20 Jumper 22:00 Derren Brown: Miracles for Sale 23:35 The Royal Wedding Crashers

ITV

C4

C5

00:15 Flight of Faith: The Jesus Story

01:20 The Japanese Wife 03:10 Strictly Lady Sumo

00:05 Pacific Heights 02:00 SuperCasino

THE GADGET SHOW The presenters use gadgets to help them in a challenge against animals, which sees Jon Bentley trying to outrun a falcon, Pollyanna Woodward racing a horse, Ortis Deley competing with a sniffer dog and Jason Bradbury pitting his agility against a cat.

05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Divine Designs 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Milkshake Monkey 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 CSI: NY 13:50 5 News Lunchtime 14:00 Chinese Food in Minutes 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 King of Kings 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 Extraordinary Dogs 19:55 Chinese Food in Minutes 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 Extraordinary People: The World’s Heaviest Man Gets Married

40

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Tuesday 26th April 00:15 The Football League Show 01:40 Britain’s Royal Weddings 02:40 Arctic with Bruce Parry 03:40 Great British Railway Journeys 04:10 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 When Royals Wed 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Gastronuts 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Dead Gorgeous 17:30 Royal Wedding Access All Areas: Blue Peter Special 17:55 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 MasterChef: The Final Three 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Prison Restaurant BBC2 00:25 Snooker: The World Championship 01:15 Snooker Extra 03:15 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News

04:30 The Super League Show 05:15 Close 07:00 Pingu 07:25 Bob the Builder 07:45 Timmy Time 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 08:45 League of Super Evil 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Animal Park 14:00 Badminton Horse Trials 16:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 21:00 Springwatch Easter Special 2011 22:00 Arena: Produced by George

Martin 23:30 Ruth Jones’ Easter Treat

23:00 Campus C4 C5

ITV 00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:15 This Is Michael Buble 01:15 The Zone 03:15 UEFA Champions League Weekly 03:50 ITV Nightscreen 05:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Military Driving School 21:00 Countrywise 22:00 When Kate Met William: A Tale of Two Lives 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Parenthood

THE SECRET MILLIONAIRE New series. Sean Gallagher, who made his fortune by setting up his own IT recruitment agency, heads for Middlesbrough to work with the founders of epilepsy awareness charity Abbie's Love. He hopes that by throwing himself into its fundraising efforts, he can finally come to terms with the grief he has struggled with since his only sister died as the result of a seizure.

00:05 The Event 01:05 The Wombats: Live in London 01:35 Poker 02:30 The Sex Education Show: Stop Pimping Our Kids 03:25 Empire: How Britain Made the Modern World 04:20 The SS 05:15 Warlords 06:10 Codex 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 14:05 The TV Book Club 14:35 Sword of Sherwood Forest 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 The Secret Millionaire

00:00 Buster 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Bridezillas 13:05 The Family Recipe 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:25 Backyard Wedding 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Extraordinary Dogs 21:00 William and Kate: The Story So Far 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: Miami 23:55 CSI: NY

41

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Wednesday 27th April 00:25 The Lock Up 00:55 Hunt for Justice 02:30 Michel Roux’s Service 03:30 23 Week Babies: The Price of Life 04:30 Great British Railway Journeys 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 When Royals Wed 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Gastronuts 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Trade Your Way to the USA 17:30 Royal Wedding Access All Areas: Blue Peter Special 17:55 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 DIY SOS: The Big Build 21:30 Life of Riley 22:00 MasterChef: The Final Three 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:45 Would I Lie to You? BBC2 00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 BBC News 03:30 Click 04:00 BBC News 04:30 The Super League Show

05:00 Schools: GCSE Bitesize History 06:30 GCSE Bitesize - Business Studies 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 08:45 League of Super Evil 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:20 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Lifeline 14:40 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:10 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship

21:00 Giles & Sue’s Royal Wedding 22:00 The Crimson Petal and the White 23:00 The Victorians 23:30 Newsnight ITV 01:50 The Zone 03:50 Crossing Jordan 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 UEFA Champions League Live 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

BRITAIN'S BEST DISH Ed Baines, Jilly Goolden and John Burton Race judge day three of the East of England regional heats, sampling starters of cheese souffle with rocket and pine-nut salad, and Egyptian chicken molokhia, followed by main courses of beef Wellington versus beef tenderloin stuffed with blue cheese. The dessert menu offers an Indian speciality in pistachio and carrot barfi, and Jamaican favourite sweet potato pudding.

C4 00:05 Pete Versus Life 00:40 School of Comedy 01:10 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:10 Freesports on 4 02:40 The Grid 03:05 British Formula 3 International Series 03:35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:00 ITU Triathlon 04:55 AVP Beach Volleyball 05:45 Ironman Triathlon 06:15 Full Metal Challenge 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 10:00 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 The TV Book Club 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:10 The Nutty Professor 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation 21:30 Superscrimpers: Waste Not Want Not

22:00 William and Kate: Romance and the Royals 23:00 Desperate Housewives C5 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Bridezillas 13:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Before You Say “”I Do”“ 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Zoo Days 21:00 Essex Jungle 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

42

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Thursday 28th April 00:15 Casanova 02:05 See Hear 02:35 Watchdog 03:35 William and Kate: A Royal Wedding 04:05 BBC News 04:30 Click 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Panorama 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 When Royals Wed 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:45 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Gastronuts 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Project Parent 17:30 My Life: Staying Awake 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Rock & Chips 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 William and Kate: A Royal Wedding BBC2 00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 BBC News 03:30 Our World 04:00 BBC News 04:05 Close

05:00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Human Geography 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 08:45 League of Super Evil 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:20 Guess with Jess 10:35 Big & Small 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:40 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:10 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 22:00 Sir Bobby Charlton: Football

Icon 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

Patsy Palmer

ITV

00:05 The Big C 00:40 Being N-Dubz in America and Beyond 01:10 Abbey Road Debuts 01:30 Snowbombing 2011 02:15 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 02:25 4Play: Delta Maid 02:40 The Sex Education Show: Stop Pimping Our Kids 03:35 The Lobster Club 03:45 The Day the World Ended 05:15 Ugly Betty 06:00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 The TV Book Club 14:05 Robin and Marian 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv

00:35 Long Lost Family 01:30 The Zone 03:30 Lorenzo’s Oil 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 William and Kate: In Their Own Words 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories:

ROCK & CHIPS Continuing John Sullivan's 1960s-set prequel to Only Fools and Horses. Freddie's arrest threatens his dream of sailing away and beginning a new life with Joan.

Meanwhile, Del falls in lust again, and the girl's parents throw an engagement party they will never forget. Starring Nicholas Lyndhurst, Kellie Bright and James Buckley.

C4

21:00 Three in a Bed 22:00 My Big Fat Royal Gypsy Wedding 23:00 10 O’Clock Live C5 00:55 Poker: Aussie Millions 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Bridezillas 13:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Wedding Daze 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:25 How Do They Do It? 20:55 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:00 In Hell

43

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

SPORT ON THE BOX All the top sport on TV in your Good News paper Premiership Rugby Sky Sports 1 Saturday, April 23rd, 12:00pm to 2:00am Wasps v Bath Highlights.

Aviva Premiership, round 21: Wasps v Bath at Adams Park. Halfway through the season, there was little between the sides, with both hunting a top four place.

Ford Super Sunday

v

v

Blackburn Rovers v Manchester City.

Ford Monday Night Football Sky Sports 1 Monday, April 25th, 8:30pm to 11:30pm Blackburn Rovers play host to Manchester City at Ewood Park. City have enjoyed a decent season, but still have work to do if they are to secure a place in the top four.

European Tour Golf

Sky Sports 1 Sunday, April 24th, 4:00pm to 7:30pm Bolton Wanderers v Arsenal.

Sky Sports 4 Monday, April 25th, 8:00pm to 9:00pm

Bolton Wanderers v Arsenal at the Reebok Stadium. The Gunners are battling to stay in the title race, but face a tough test against a side who are strong at home.

Coverage of the Volvo China Open at Luxehills International Country Club in Chengdu, China. YE Yang won here last year, edging out Welsh duo Rhys Davies and Stephen Dodd.

SHADES OF RED Ref on the spot as Real Madrid and Barca get it spot-on LONG BALLS

by Malcolm Palmer There was only one story at the weekend – if worldwide interest counts for anything – the ‘Classic’ between Real Madrid and Barcelona at the Bernabeu.

Barça had a monopoly of possession as Jose Mourinho’s tactics relied on counter-attack, with Pepe again in a midfield role, leaving Özil on the bench.

The visitors wanted a penalty when Casillas robbed Villa, but commentators, with the benefit of many replays, failed to agree, so no wonder the referee was unprepared to rule in favour of a spot-kick. He had no doubts, however, when Albiol pulled down Villa, and Lionel Messi made no mistake from the spot.

However, in sending off the defender, Señor Muñiz did nothing to improve the game as a spectacle, obliging Pepe to drop back. The official (who, incidentally, showed 11 yellow two red cards in a clean game at Hercules earlier this season!) further compounded his felony when, after penalising Barça when Alves fouled Marcelo, he failed to show consistency and did not show the offending player a card.

Cristiano Ronaldo made no mistake, and it was 1-1. Messi showed some

unfamiliar petulance as the game petered out, but Barcelona have virtually secured the league title. Mourinho remarked ruefully that it would be nice to play Barça with 11 men for once.

In England, Manchester City evoked memories of ‘Bert Trautmann’s final’ (all right, so I’m that old) by winning a trip to Wembley when they beat neighbours Manchester United by a Yaya Toure goal, then discovered that their rivals there will be Stoke City, who slipped five past a poor Bolton side.

In the Premier League, Arsenal all but lost touch with the title when, in an extraordinary finish, Robin Van Persie scored with a penalty deep into injury time, only to see Dirk Kuyt, at the other end, equalise for Liverpool even deeper – in fact 12 minutes into added time.

Monsieur Wenger was not a happy man.

Down among the dead men, West Ham took a step nearer the Championship when they lost to Aston Villa, and have a trip to Chelsea to look forward to next, while Wigan swapped places with Blackpool. Wolves, at the bottom, have a game in hand – all very tight.

In Germany, Borussia Dortmund are clear and away, Bayern Munich having parted company with the lugubrious Mr Van Gaal, whilst in Italy Milan are clear leaders from surprise-package Napoli.

44

Thursday, 21st April, 2011 AWNINGS

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am. Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

FOR SALE

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

BAR 4 SALE Local Spanish & English Bar Well Known 100,000€ Call 679 096 309 10 cold drinks /snack vending machines with sites 39,900 euros.

Excellent cash income, no overhead, operate from home 31,000 euros NETT per year one day p.w. to service.25 Pringle vending machines with sites 14,900 euros 250 euros per week NETT guaranteed, machines and sites available individually. 965 326 442 / 659 696 455 (09) Bar for sale. Quesada area.

Going cheap. For information pack, email: . Tel: 688 800 960 (09)

CAR MECHANICS

2 bed mobile home.

Albatera. Small site. Large plot. Summer house, shed, gazebo. Pets allowed. More info Phone 622 258 072.

Price 24,000€ (09) Kymco Zing 125cc chopper style motorbike for sale.

Year 2000, ITV until 2013, 5707 Kms with 2 helmets, lock, jacket. Only 700 euros.

622 208 934 (11) BH Bikes Spirit carbon framed racing bike. Almost new. Shimano 105 gears and components. Large adult frame. 300 euros. 622 208 934 (11)

FURNITURE

Ref: 06, A Beautiful town centre apartment conveniently situated in Torrevieja close to town centre amenities and a short walk to the beautiful sandy beaches.

Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 78, South facing 3 bedroomed property situated injardin Del Mar VII, with communal pool nearby.

Close to amenities. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 52 (Long Term Only) Three bedroom 2nd floor terrace house in Aguas Nuevas. The property benefits from large lounge, fully fitted kitchen and a downstairs shower room.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11)

Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 510, €79,999.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 146, €85,000. Three bedroom Two bathroom quad house in Dream Hills.

Off road parking on the front driveway with gates that can be padlocked for security.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 527, €195,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, on a large plot, located in San Luis, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11)

SECURITY

SOLAR

WIG SPECIALISTS SPORTS EQUIPMENT

SALON MARGARETHAS 23 years in Torrevieja, Hair/Wig Specialist for Medical Illness & Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural & Artificial Hair and much more also fashion/festival accessories. TV/TS are welcome to our service. Call Margaretha on 966 921 846 or call into Salon Margarethas in Torrevieja (14)

WANTED

ADVERTISE HERE FOR A FIVER!

REMOVALS

PROPERTY FOR SALE

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: or Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 64, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment. Located in the very popular area of Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11)

Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11)

Wanted second hand motorbike up to 125cc in good condition call: 682 773 121 (09)

SATTILLITE

45

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

WHY IS SEEDY SEPP KEEPING US IN SUSPENDERS?

The goal that wasn’t

asks DONNA GEE With the World Cup and Champions League both locked away, there’s little argument that the Spanish are currently the best footballers on the planet.

It’s hard to accept but Fabio Capello’s prima donnas are not in the same class as the game’s thoroughbreds. We'll have that confirmed yet again when Barcelona become European champions again next month.

But let’s face it, 44 years of failure was pretty good evidence of England’s mediocrity even before last summer’s mega-flop in South Africa.

However, rather than condemn England (and let’s not forget that the other home nations didn’t even qualify for the finals), perhaps we should be looking more closely at the people responsible for the archaic laws of football.

The world’s most popular game is blessed with billions of fans and ludicrous amounts of money. Yet while other major sports like tennis, rugby, American Football and cricket have long since been using modern technology to adjudicate controversial moments, the Methuselahs who orchestrate football’s struc-

ture continue to leave controversial decisions entirely to the human eye.

OK, FIFA president Sepp Blatter has finally admitted that something needs changing. But nine months after a World Cup riddled with controversy, we are still waiting for the fuddyduddies to actually DO something.

No England fan can forget Frank Lampard’s disallowed goal against Germany in the World Cup. The Chelsea star’s rocket shot bounced down off the crossbar at least a yard over the line before spinning clear – with the referee and his assistant the only people in the stadium who failed to spot it.

The German goalkeeper knew it was a goal, of course. But since honesty is the last thing one expects from professional footballers (we won’t mention being faithful to their wives), there was no way he was going to tell the ref.

Let’s face it, England would have done exactly the same had it been the Germans who scored, so dishonours even there.

Had the referee merely been allowed to consult a video replay, as are officials in other major sports, justice would have prevailed. As it was, nobody knows what might have happened had England been level at 2-2 at halftime rather than 2-1 behind. Why, they might even have won. (well, in my dreams).

Blatter’s logic seems to be at variance with the entire population of the world. Apart, that is, from the 75-year-old’s cronies in Geneva, all of whom are presumably blokes.

The ageing Swiss plonker does not seem to hold women particularly high in his esteem – except as sex objects. In the early 1970s, he was president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women wearing tights instead of stockings and suspender belts.

Then, in 2004, he suggested that female footballers should "wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts... to create a more female aesthetic" and attract more male fans.

If Mr Blatter spent more time sorting out the game’s injustices and less on ogling the girls, then football might start living up to its billing as ‘the beautiful game’.

He could start by introducing a law that works wonderfully well in rugby and ensures that cheats who illegally prevent a certain score don’t prosper.

In such circumstances, referees can award a ‘‘penalty try’’ yet in football, the worst a team can suffer is a red card for the offender and a missable penalty kick for the cheated side.

When a Uruguay player prevented Ghana winning their World Cup tie by deliberately

stopping a goalbound shot with his hand, the correct decision should have been ‘goal’ – even though the ball did not cross the line.

The incident happened at the very end of extra time, so the red card did not help Ghana in any way. And when they missed the resultant penalty, any advantage was completely wiped out.

Uruguay celebrated their reprieve by winning the penalty shootout that followed and Africa’s last representatives in the tournament were on their way home when in the eyes of every fair-minded person they were really the victors.

But the concept of introducing a ‘penalty goal’ award to foil the cheats has probably never crossed Blatter’s mind.

Ghana didn’t get justice, they were robbed because the laws are an ass. It’s the sort of thing that makes football appear even more stupid than the heads-in-the-sand brigade who run (or should that be ruin?) the game.

So how is football ever going to be dragged into the 21st century? Maybe we should offer seedy Sepp an inducement to hand the whole caboodle over to us girls.

Then we could sort it all out in no time and let him concentrate on whatever else he does for kicks...

THE FOOTY RUMOUR MILL All the transfer rumours first in Doncaster duo Brian Stock and Martin Woods for a combined fee of £2,000,000 with Joseph Mills moving to the Keepmoat on a permanent basis after a successful loan this season.

LIVERPOOL have agreed a contract with French star Blaise Matuidi, who will join up with the squad on July 1, and are currently scouting French goalkeeper Stephane Ruffier as his contract is up at Monaco in the summer.

The players that are heading for the exit at Anfield are the following: Paul Konchesky Alberto Aquilani Emiliano Insa Philipp Degen Nabil El Zhar Stephen Darby Brad Jones Joe Cole Christian Poulsen

INTER MILAN may be prepared to use Netherlands playmaker Wesley Sneijder as bait in a bid to lure Nani from Manchester United.

In Stock & Woods - 2,000,000 Chambers - Nott'm Forest 900,000 Cadogan - Crystal Palace 500,000 Murphy - Scunthorpe 500,000 Baldock - MK Dons - 800,000 Stephens Oldham Permanent Out Puncheon - Blackpool Mills - Doncaster Connolly - Released

SOUTHAMPTON will complete the signings of

MANCHESTER UNITED will sign 3 players this summer, Godin and De Gea from Athletico. Madrid and Jordan Henderson from Sunderland.

They have about £165m to spend, and are looking to get the following:

SPORT! sided defender Lee Wallace of Hearts, 22. And are also interested in bring in Scotland midfielder Murray Davidson of St Johnston, 23.

DE GEA - £20m A. YOUNG - £15m SCHNEIDER - £35m G. CAHILL - £18m BAINES - £14m AGUERO - £40m WOLVES are interested in Scotland left back and left

made only his third start on Saturday and scored both goals in the 2-1 win over Palace.

LIVERPOOL are now said to be the front runners for Connor Wickham from Ipswich, who has just signed an extra year’s contract extension. Wickham has stated on several occasions in recent times that he does not intend to move on and has no reason to leave Ipswich.

SPURS are keeping an eye on another young starlet from Ipswich, Josh Carson, who

MANCHESTER CITY be signing 19-year-old ack Wilshire from Arsenal for £40m in the summer transfer window

46

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

SPORTS ROUND-UP MOTOR RACING

GOLF

Ham the Bull-tamer roasts Vettel

With Mick Hardy from Kidease PREMIER & LA LIGA FIXTURES

Manassero, 17, steals Rory’s glory Saturday, 23 April 2011

Lewis Hamilton scored a stunning win in the Sunday’s Chinese Grand Prix to deny Sebastian Vettel a hat-trick of victories.

The McLaren driver passed his Red Bull rival with just four laps to go at the Shanghai International Circuit to climax a race filled with overtaking, incident and strategic intrigue.

That much was underlined by the presence of Mark Webber on the podium, Vettel's team-mate putting in a much-needed performance to come through from 18th on the grid to finish third.

RESULT: 1 L Hamilton (GB) McLaren 1hr 36mins 58.226secs, 2 S Vettel (Ger) Red Bull 1:37:03.424, 3 M Webber (Aus) Red Bull 1:37:05.781, 4 J Button (GB) McLaren 1:37:08.226, 5 N Rosberg (Ger) Mercedes GP 1:37:11.674, 6 F Massa (Bra) Ferrari 1:37:14.066. Drivers' championship: Vettel 68pts, Hamilton 47, Button 38, Webber 37, F Alonso (Sp) 26, Massa 24. Constructors' championship: Red Bull 105pts, McLaren 85, Ferrari 50, Renault 32, Mercedes GP 16. Next round: Istanbul Turkey (Sunday May 8)

CYCLING Golden Gilbert’s Dutch of class

A second straight win for Philippe Gilbert (Omega PharmaLotto) in the Amstel Gold Race has seen the Belgian roar into fifth place in the UCI Individual WorldTour Rankings.

Fabian Cancellara (Leopard Trek) remains in top spot.

Although the four highest places in the individual ranking remain unchanged, Gilbert, with 176 points, has gained no fewer than 11 places thanks to his impressive repeat victory in Holland’s biggest one-day race.

Gilbert’s fifth place in the WorldTour ranking means all the riders immediately below him have lost a spot, starting with Robert Gesink (Rabobank Cycling Team), who drops to sixth. Could Gilbert climb even higher up the UCI WorldTour ranking at La Fleche Wallone and Liege-Bastogne-Liege this week? It seems likely given the Belgian’s form and the strong teamwork Omega Pharma-Lotto showed in the Amstel Gold Race.

Come what may, the recent spate of Belgian success in the Classics, too - with wins in Gent-Wevelgem, the Tour of Flanders, Paris-Roubaix and now Amstel Gold - has propelled Gilbert’s country into the top spot in the nations ranking.

Matteo Manassero won the Maybank Malaysian Open on Sunday as Rory McIlroy faded for the second weekend in succession. The Northern Irishman, who blew a four-shot lead in the final round of the Masters at Augusta a week earlier, this time let slip a three-stroke advantage going into the final four holes of his partially-delayed third round.

Ladies European Nations Cup at La Sella, Alicante

Man Utd v Everton, 13:45 Aston Villa v Stoke, 16:00 Blackpool v Newcastle, 16:00 Liverpool v Birmingham, 16:00 Sunderland v Wigan, 16:00 Tottenham v West Brom, 16:00 Wolverhampton v Fulham, 16:00 Chelsea v West Ham, 18:30 Sunday, 24 April 2011 Bolton v Arsenal, 17:00 Monday, 25 April 2011 Blackburn v Man City, 21:00

LA LIGA Sunday, April 24 2011

16.00 Athletic de Bilbao v Real Sociedad 16.00 Atlético de Madrid v Levante 16.00 Barcelona v Osasuna 16.00 Hércules v Deportivo de La Coruña 16.00 Mallorca v Getafe 16.00 Racing v Málaga 16.00 Real Zaragoza v Almería 16.00 Sevilla v Villarreal 16.00 Sporting Gijón v Espanyol 16.00 Valencia v Real Madrid

KIDS FOOTY Anna Nordqvist and Sophie Gustafson retained the European Nations Cup for Sweden with a three-stroke victory over England and Germany at La Sella in Spain on Sunday.

The first nation to retain the trophy in the four versions of the event, the Swedes began the final round with a three-stroke advantage and finished with a four-under-par 68 for a total of 267, 21-under par and the same score with which they triumphed 12 months earlier.

Halfway through the final round of Valencian Cup, which is a variation on foursomes, they were just one stroke ahead of England - but took charge with four birdies and just one dropped shot on the back nine.

English pair Laura Davies and Melissa Reid momentarily tied for the lead after mixing six birdies with one bogey on the front nine for an outward total of 31. But they stalled on the back nine until Davies holed a monster eagle putt from across the green at the last, coming back in 35 for a 66.

Davies said: “When we made the turn and Mel made that great putt on nine, I thought, ‘We’re in here,’ I really thought we were going to have a strong chance but we’ve not had one good back nine the whole week. We wanted to beat the Welsh more than anything else and I knew they were making a birdie so I had to finish strong and get that one to the hole.”

The European Tour heads to China this weekend for the Volvo Open, while the USPGA Tour moves on to South Carolina for The Heritage.

CRICKET LV County Championship - Division One NOTTINGHAM: Nottinghamshire (327 and 26/1) beat Hampshire (218 and 131) by 9 wkts; TAUNTON: Warwickshire (642) beat Somerset (210 and 50) by an innings and 382 runs; LEEDS: Durham (327 and 311/6dec) beat Yorkshire (149 and 343) by 146 runs.

Division Two DERBY: Derbyshire (439/9) beat Leicestershire (230 and 177) by an innings and 32 runs; CARDIFF: Glamorgan (202 and 370/9dec) beat Gloucestershire (188 and 195) by 189 runs; LORD’S: Middlesex 277 and 54/2 beat Essex 115 and 215 by 8 wkts; NORTHAMPTON: Northamptonshire 480) beat Kent (202 and 119) by an innings and 159 runs.

SWEET SIXTEEN FOR DAYA Daya Nueva 16 v 2 Mil Palmeras Alevins under 12s LOCAL FOOTBALL Sunday 17th April San Fulgencio C.F. 1 4 Torrevieja CF Sponsored by 900telecom.com

47

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

GREEN FOR BO! Triple substitution lights way to La Liga as Bodipo ignites Elche’s play-off bid

GIRONA 2

ELCHE 2

by DAN SMITH

BODIPO finally got on the score sheet his 93 minute goal giving Elche a valuable point in the 2-2 draw.

Photo: Mark Welton

"It appears that at Elche, when there are no problems they have to be created" - words dealt to the assembled media by club president José Sepulcre.

A quickly-convened press conference last week helped to dispel rumours of player unrest over bonus and image rights in the end of the season run-up and the possibility of reaching the play-offs.

But President Sepulcre, stern-faced, made it clear to journalists that they were making something out of nothing. "We should be prudent but also optimistic", he said, referring to a recently-agreed 2.5 million-euro bonus should the club achieve promotion to La Liga.

Unwilling to smile for the cameras, a concerned Sepulcre thought it inopportune to have these discussions prior to the important Girona fixture - and when the club are having one of their best seasons in many years.

The midweek media attention certainly did not seem to have any effect on manager Bordalas’s team effort at Girona, direct rivals for a play-off spot. With only the sanctioned Ripa unavailable, Bordalas fielded his strongest side with Cristóbal, their recent signing from Villarreal, again in the starting 11.

The first 45 minutes belonged to Elche.

Infinitely superior to the home side, they piled on pressure with Generelo, Xumetra and Angel all coming close - and with Cristóbal showing his Villarreal pedigree, it looked only a matter of time before the visitors went ahead.

But somehow Girona hung on, perhaps due to Elche lacking that final touch, and the game went into the break goalless. The teams remained unchanged for the restart but this time it was the home side who took the initiative.

Elche easily soaked up the initial pressure but then inexplicably found themselves two goals down in just nine minutes. Girona centre-forward Despotovic was first to a cross and headed in from six yards. And soon after, a mix-up in the Elche defence saw the former Real Murcia player run on to a loose ball and score his second despite keeper Jaime’s chase.

Bordalas, furious with his team’s momentary lack of concentration, made three changes, bringing on Palanca in the 64th minute and, soon after, Sanchez and Bodipo. And all three made an instant impact.

First, an inch-perfect Sanchez cross found Ángel free just inside the Girona 18-yard box and he placed the ball well out of the reach of keeper Santa Maria. As the Girona defence began to panic, chances flew in from all directions. But they held firm until well into the four minutes of added time. Then up popped Bodipo, a glancing toe-poke catching Santa Maria wrong-footed to give the former Equatorial Guinea international his long-awaited goal for Elche.

With less than 30 seconds left, the visitors had once again showed their strength and determination - and while they picked up only one point, it was a valuable one that keeps them firmly in the race for a play-off spot.

Elche’s next game is at home to Huesca at the Martinez Valero stadium on Saturday (April 23). Kick-off is at 18.00 - and it could prove to be a cracker.

48

Thursday, 21st April, 2011

Levante 2 – Hercules 1

ON THEIR KNEES

Photo: Mark Welton

Alicante need a Herculean effort to remain in La Liga

By Malcolm Palmer ‘A game of two halves’ is a hoary old cliché, but if ever it was apt, this was the occasion.

This game was always going to be a tough one – Levante, the club with the lowest budget in the Primera Liga, were unbeaten in the previous seven matches, and had climbed steadily out of the relegation zone, and into mid-table.

To further increase the difficulty of their task, injuries had reduced the Alicante side’s squad dramatically.

On a chilly, bright afternoon in Valencia, a fair contingent from Alicante saw Levante go straight on the attack.

After only three minutes, Fritzler gave away a free kick with a silly tackle, and

Ruben Suárez drove a fine shot into the top corner, giving Calatayud no chance.

1-0.

It was 15 minutes before Hercules mounted an attack, then Drenthe forced a save from Munua. But play surged down to the other end very quickly and Cala was twice in action as Ruben, again, and Uruguayan Stuani went close.

Some relief was felt when Drenthe took two corners in succession – his accurate delivery causing a little consternation – but in truth Hercules were outclassed by the largely homegrown, and veteran Levante side.

It was not until the 40th minute, though, that a defensive mix-up saw the ball come free to Juanlu on the edge of Hercules’ area, and he stroked it calmly

into the net. 2-0.

Levante had been comfortably on top of a poor Hercules side for most of the first half, but when the second period began, it looked as if ‘Mister’ Djukic had had a stern word in the interval, and there was more evident spirit about the visitors’ play.

Pulhac, possibly the best of the blueand-whites’ players, broke through and saw a good effort go just over. After two Drenth corners, Munua was lucky when Juanra’s shot was deflected straight to him, but when Drenthe was fouled on the edge of the area, Portillo’s shot was blocked by a defender.

Djukic replaced the Nº 9 with top scorer David Trezeguet, and after 68 minutes, Drenthe shot over the bar. Then Kiko was blatantly fouled, but the inci-

dent drew no response from the referee.

Hercules finally got a goal back when a slip-up by veteran Levante defender Ballesteros allowed Sendoa to slide the ball across to Trezeguet, who sidefooted it into the corner of the net. 2-1, and 81 minutes gone.

Although Thomert, who had just come on for Drenthe, and Fritzler, both went close, an anxious Levante played out time to maintain their recent good record.

Results elsewhere leave Hercules with a very serious task indeed if they are to avoid the drop. With Almería looking doomed, the need now is to somehow get ahead of Málaga, Zaragoza and possibly Osasuna – it doesn’t look easy!