The Courier Week 103

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Edition 103

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Friday, February 8, 2013

ELCHE COPS CRACK €242m DRUG GANG POLICE in Elche have seized 4.1 tonnes of cocaine worth nearly a quarter of a BILLION euros in one of the biggest ever seizures of the drug in the country.

The cocaine was found at a warehouse, hidden in containers of cow hides that came by boat from Colombia and were to be delivered to a shoemaker, police said in a statement.

The cocaine was stored in thousands of packages, each containing just over a kilo of the drug - enough for around 82 million doses.

The cocaine is worth nearly €242 million (£217 million) and was destined for distribution across Europe.

Police detained three Spanish men, including the suspected leader of the drug trafficking ring, and searched 16 houses, businesses and warehouses belonging to the suspects.

Two shotguns, a hunting rifle, a box of ammunition, three machetes, two computers, and six luxury vehicles were also seized, as well as €6,755 in cash.

Police swooped on traffickers as they appeared to be get-

AMANDA BLACK reports ting ready to remove the cocaine from the warehouse in several trucks. It is one of the biggest cocaine seizures ever carried out on land in Spain and the biggest since police in 2001 seized 4.4 tonnes of cocaine hidden in a warehouse amongst a shipment of canned sardines.

Major cocaine seizures in Spain usually happen at sea. In 2006, police seized three tonnes of it in a boat off the Canary Islands in the Atlantic.

The following year, they took four tonnes of cocaine from a boat off the coast of Almeria in the Mediterranean.

Spain's close ties with its former colonies in Latin America, a major cocaine-producing region, and its proximity to Morocco, a key source of hashish, have made it a major gateway into Europe for drug traffickers.

Large amounts of cocaine have been found in recent years hidden amongst shipments of roses, cakes, exotic wood and fake plastic bananas.

An honour to meet you!

ANGELA KEAY'S New Year got off to a surprising start when she learnt that she has been awarded an MBE for services to Spain’s British community in the New Year's Honours List.

Now Ambassador to Spain Giles Paxman has taken the opportunity of a visit to Alicante to meet and congratulate her in person.

Angela, who lives in Torrevieja, has made a remarkable contribution to the development of Age Concern across Spain.

She helped to set up Age Concern Costa Blanca Sur in 1997, as Secretary and later President - then became Secretary and President of Age Concern España. She is now Secretary to Age Concern España's national INFOLINE and Casework service

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Friday, February 8, 2013

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

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Photo taken by Tony Deeley in Avd Juan Carlos I in Urb La Marina on Friday 25th Jan 2013. It was two planes who obviously had problems with thier Sat. Navs.

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

An honour to meet you!

From Page One organisation, known as ACASA, as well as being one of its Caseworker volunteers.

Ambassador Paxman said: “I am delighted to have met Angela and I congratulate her on a well-deserved MBE. The organisation ACASA is an excellent example of the many English-speaking associations that support our most vulnerable residents and tourists, and I’m pleased that the hard work that has

gone into setting it up has been recognised.

“The work that our consular staff in Spain carry out in supporting British nationals is greatly helped by volunteers like Angela, who give up their time and energy to help others.”

ACASA is a partnership between Age Concern España, the British Embassy and Age UK. It delivers public awareness campaigns on integration into Spanish life,

Residents get shakes in earthquake panic

RESIDENTS in Jaén province are sleeping in their cars after tremors on Tuesday night reached 3.7 on the Richter scale.

Over 1,500 earthquakes have been recorded in the La Loma district since October after the absence of local tremors for 1,132 years.

And residents in the towns of Torreperogil, Sabiote, Rus and Úbeda are terrified of their houses falling down on them if more quakes occur.

The National Geographical Institute says it does not know why these tremors are happening.

Mainland Spain and Portugal suffer about 100 earthquakes every year, but

they are usually of a very low magnitude.

The majority are not even felt and those that are cause no more damage than the occasional ornament falling off a shelf, says the Institute.

In recent times, only one serious quake has been recorded – in Lorca in May 2011, where several people died.

A SECOND 'kamikaze' driver in the space of a week has been arrested in the Comunidad Valenciana after travelling 23 kilometres in the wrong direction down the A-7.

Police received 15 calls in as many minutes from panicking motorists, and ended up having to pursue the driver at high speed for nearly 20 minutes.

He was finally caught at the exit for Alquerías del Niño Perdido (Castellón), although he had driven past several sliproads he could have come off at.

When officers finally caught up with the driver, who was from Seville Province, he tested negative for alcohol and drugs.

However, his reason for driving down the left-hand side of the motorway instead of the right is not known.

Friday Sunny High 14° Low 6° Chance of rain 0% Monday Partly cloudy High 15° Low 5° Chance of rain 41%

Tuesday Sunny High 15° Low 4° Chance of rain 0%

offers advice and help via the infoline 902 00 38 38 and email address casework@ageconcern-espana.com ACASA also offers a casework service that consists of in-home visits by volunteers who provide practical advice and help to source funds for individuals where direct intervention is required, as well as providing advice and support for expats wanting to return to live in the UK. For more information on ACASA, visit www.acespana.org.

Kamikaze driver’s 23km crash course killed two people on the AP-7 near Valencia has been given a complete reprieve by the government, escaping a 13-year prison sentence. The family of the victims have appealed against the 'kamikaze' driver's pardon.

This is the second time in a week that a driver has been caught travelling down the wrong lane, another wayward motorist having been arrested in Ibi (Alicante) on Sunday.

However, a man who

Saturday Sunny High 13° Low 4° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 14° Low 2° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 16° Low 8° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Cloudy High 14° Lo 9° Chance of rain 21%

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New school: TV adds to Valencia pressure

By DONNA GEE LEADING television channel TVE1 alerted the whole of Spain last Friday to the need for a new school in Rojales – just hours after The Courier highlighted the growing danger pupils face every day.

TVE’s prime morning show broadcast a live sequel to our front page exclusive that six-year-old Jordan El Ghilani-Fryatt had badly dislocated his right thumb after tripping on the damaged gymnasium floor.

And with the pressure on the regional authorities at an all-time high in the glare of local and national TV and radio publicity, parents and teachers believe the Valencian Government will eventually give way and finance a new structure.

The screw will be turned another notch today (Friday), when adults dressed as trades people will give a serious twist to Carnival Week celebrations.

The children will dress as circus performers, but the adults are being kitted out as painters, builders, plumbers and electricians

to 'build' a symbolic wall in the hope that Valencia will make a positive decision on the future of the crumbling Principe de Espana College.

The school has been described as ‘a death trap’ and ‘an accident waiting to happen’. Last week the accident DID happen – and the campaign backed by the AMPA

teachers federation, pupils’ parents and Rojales council gained even more momentum.

Rachel King, whose six year-old daughter Jasmine attends the school, told The Courier: “Just beforeTVE1 went on air, the children came out for playtime.

“The older ones started banging on the fence and began chanting 'Colegio nuevo ya!' and then the little ones joined in. They were pleading for a new school. It was very touching. ’’ Rachel believes there has been a dramatic increase in public awareness of the perilous state of the school following The Courier’s revelations plus stories in other English and Spanish press outlets.

She added: “It's a huge achievement that AMPA secured national television coverage and I would hope the Education Department in Valencia has realised that the time has come for action.’’

The AMPA association has asked parents and guardians to celebrate Carnival Week at the Principe De España school from 3pm to 4.30pm today (Friday)

LORENTE’S COSTA BANKER

THE entire political landscape for the Orihuela Costa changed once again this week as Mayor Monserrate Guillén stripped former Councillor for the Coast and Tourism Pedro Mancebo of all of his powers and threw him out of his Municipal Government, writes KEITH NICOL.

Having complained about Mancebo’s behaviour a number of times, Guillén listed among reasons for his dismissal that he didn’t want to work with the team, missed meetings, exceeded his own job brief, tried to influence other departments by applying pressure on them - and mainly that he showed no respect for others in the coalition.

Although the Mayor signalled out Mancebo, the other elected and non-elected CLR councillors also handed in their resignations. This leaves Guillén with nine votes between the PSOE and Greens, against the PP’s 12.

On Wednesday Bob Houliston and Monica Lorente announced that they will rule from opposition to "rebuild what has been stolen from the tripartite citizenship through investment and budget changes”. They are able to do so as, being the majority, they will hold presidential control over every area of committee in Orihuela Town Hall. This can happen because as of Saturday last, the Organic Regulation of the Plenary came into force which in essence forms different committees to run different departments of Government.

Until now, the chair for each committee might have been split evenly between all the parties - but the situation today is that the Partido Popular will hold presidency over every committee and thus,

Firms in dog-meat warehouse shame

POLICE in the Galician town of As Neves have found a warehouse filled with 15 tons of dead stray dogs which they believe were going to be processed into animal feed.

Third-party companies reportedly collected stray animals from town halls and dead sheep from farms, illegally processing the meat into animal feed which is then fed back into the food chain, either through pet food or commercial animal feed.

Seprona, the environmental arm of the Guardia Civil, has sent dozens of samples

of commercial pet food to the Anfaco-Cecopesca laboratories in Vigo for analysis.

The laboratory suspected possible use of dog and sheep remains in several clandestine plants of Galicia and a company of processing of meat products from Salamanca.

In May 2012, the Guardia Civil found two ships used for underground storage of dead animals in As Neves, in one of which were 15 tons of animal carcasses.

Previously, it had detected similar facilities in the region of Val Miñor and Salceda.

LIFE IN SPAIN STANDARDS Inspectors have conq demned conditions within Guardia Civil headquarters at Torrevieja as ‘inhumane’. They claim improvements have been needed for many years, with 200 officers stationed there in unhygienic surroundings. The headquarters opened in 1992 and cost €1.5 million , with accommodation added later for 34 of the 45 officers stationed there at the time.

There are now another 155 officers sharing the facilities. The Inspectors have reported their complaints to Provincial Police HQ and called for urgent investment in improvements.

PUBLIC money received by the Alicante Provincial Council political parties has not been monitored by any fiscal institution for three decades. The announcement follows Spanish press suggestion that five PP and PSPV Provincial deputies travelled to party conferences in Barcelona and Almería, using public funds when the two political groups reportedly earn more than €100,000 euros per annum to cover “expenses”. PP Councillor, Luisa Pastor said the expenses to fund the trips had been authorised.

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CONTROVERSY continues at Alicante airport following the Valencian Government edict that taxi drivers based outside Elche should acquire Department of Transport operation to operate at El Altet and submit evidence of advance booking. Despite extra Government vigilance in monitoring taxi drop-offs and collection at the airport, the friction remains. One Elche driver commented: “Eighty-two taxi drivers from Elche make a living at the airport and 140 from elsewhere- some even as far a filed as Murcia. This is our territory and they should make their business on their own doorstep.”

We will improve everything, vows new Orihuela regime q

THE extent of fraudulent ticket sales at Elche Football Club may well amount to €300,000 this season alone, according to National Police. Security forces continue to analyse match figures for recent seasons in order to determine the total amount and how long it has been continuing. Three men and two women have been arrested on charges of fraud and misappropriation.

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Former Mayor Monica Lorente and Bob Houliston state their commitment to the Coast the majority of the powers of Mayor have been removed from Guillén, except as a figurehead. Many, including Mancebo, have already suggested he is nothing more than that, anyway.

Lorente and Houliston said they intend to work closely for the people of the Orihuela Costa with Lorente highlighting the importance of the area and emphasising that they will be doing everything within their power to improve the region in all areas - from education, through infrastructure to tourism.

They have asked Guillén to resign from the post of Mayor as at the moment he lacks ‘electoral legitimacy’.

BANCO Sabadell has dropped charges of illegal occupation against mother of three Ana Belen Fernandez after her failure to meet mortgage costs. The desperate Mum broke into the property, forcing the lock, shortly after being evicted, and the bank commenced legal proceedings against her.

However, it has now agreed to accept a €200-a-month Social Housing rental fee over five years. Monthly mortgage payments previously stood at 600 euros.

THE Guardia Civil are holding a presentation for Neighbourhood q Watch in the Casa del Cultura, Guardamar del Segura on Tuesday February 12 at 12 noon. All are welcome.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

Cuenca in the Spring

THE warm spring sunshine glints on the old city walls casting a dark shadow across the nearest houses. Above us, silhouetted against a faultless blue sky, vultures circle lazily surveying the landscape.

Narrow cobbled streets meander lazily amongst the whitewashed houses.

Almost all of these crowned with bright orange tiles. The walls darken as they climb up the mountainside amongst the yellow broom towards the statue of Christ, arms outstretched, As though protecting all those who pass this way.

We wander amongst the houses passing wizened old ladies in black dresses, who sit on tiny wooden seats examining us with knowing eyes. “Muy Buenas” they murmur as we pass them. Carefully avoiding the need to define the time of day with a “Buenas Dias” or “Buenas tardes”. Some of them choose to welcome us with a hearty “adios “– literally meaning goodbye but which really means “hello, but I won’t be stopping to talk” Up ahead we hear a bubble of noise.

Then the street opens up into a charming old town square where a handful of Spaniards make the sort of noise normally associated with a stadium full of football supporters. Only the Spanish know how to make so much noise with so few people.

The partially wooden, partially stone structured houses encircling the square supported by dozens of stone pillars whose makers are long since gone from this life.

Now a church steeple appears ahead of us as we pass an old Moorish style gate.

Behind the church run the sparkling waters of the River Tinted where noisy ducks quack a loud protest at the sudden invasion of humans.

A waterfall rushes down from the moun-

tainside then spills on through the valley.

Just a few hours ago we arrived at our charmingly rustic hotel to a warm smiling welcome, a homely meal, and generous helpings of red wine. Yet we already feel at one with the peace and beauty of the surrounding countryside.

This is day one of a three day visit to the lovely Cuenca region. A region which is set between the cities of Valencia and Madrid.

Today we are in Cañete. The ancient capital of the region which despite its village type atmosphere really does have magnificent medieval city walls which have guarded the town since Moorish times. Tomorrow we travel to exotic sounding places like “The window of the devil” – “the enchanted city” -- “the source of the Rio Cuervo”.

Our courier who has already impressed us with her knowledge of the castles and countryside we passed on the drive up and her in depth knowledge of Cañete promises us that tomorrow brings many surprises, magnificent gorges, impressive rivers, turquoise coloured reservoirs, pine clad mountains and fields of spring flowers.

With promises too, of lunch beside the River Cuervo bringing a few unexpected surprises. We can hardly wait for this day to start. Then on the third day we look forward to a visit to a serious of multicoloured lakes followed by a time in the historic centre of the old city of Cuenca, and of course a chance to see the famous 16th century hanging houses located behind the cathedral and overhanging the stunningly scenic gorge which sweeps along the boundaries of this precious city.

Best of all is that our 3 days full board plus wine and water plus all excursions only cost 141€. This is such a lovely area to visit in early spring. David’s Coachtrips are offering two dates during the month of March for this great value excursion. 3 days March 10-12 or 20-22. To reserve your places simply call David's Coachtrips on (0034) 96678910.

Bail blow hits Urdangarin KING Juan Carlos’s sonin-law and his former business partner have failed to pay bail of €8.2 million while awaiting possible trial in a corruption case that has been troubling the monarchy for years.

The Palma de Mallorca court said yesterday (Thursday) that it will begin embargoing their properties over the coming days. Being a civil case, the two will not be jailed for not paying the sum.

Inaki Urdangarin, who is married to the King's second daughter, Princess Cristina, hasn't been charged with a crime but is a suspect in a

case in which he and his partner allegedly funneled around €5 million in public funds to companies they

controlled.

Urdangarin was sidelined from all official Royal activities last year.

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editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Brits time to stop the slagging off!

MY position is neutral and I am not from a political background. I have been in education for 36 years plus and currently work voluntarily for a local newspaper as a reviewer.

I have a home in Spain where I have lived and worked for seven years. I have also worked in Africa and the Middle East recently.

I have had the pleasure to attend a few CLARO meetings, to meet Bob Houliston and the "original" CLARO members in the past.

I find it most disconcerting to read so many negative comments verging on slander in this paper as well as the others. I am British and not always proud to stand up for

my country or beliefs. Yes, we have democracy and rights of speech to criticise and I am in favour of this. BUT there must be limits to what is published and can be considered slanderous.

I am certain that if these comments were published in the UK about a well-known public figure that there would be a libel suit.

It is very sad that people have to resort to this public "slagging off" in order to voice their anger and cynicism. This to me sums up British politics and I fear it is very typical of British people.

Is it not possible to resolve these differences, to discuss face-to-face and instead of comparing the past Councillor of the Coast

to the present one in derogatory terms to build bridges and to work towards some kind of reconciliation so that everyone in Costa Orihuela benefits for the better good?

I know it sounds very utilitarian but isn't it time a different forum was used to attempt a resolution?

(Mrs) C NAYLOR, Freelance Reviewer/ Writer You will have noticed that there was no coverage of Orihuela’s incessant political infighting in last week’s Courier. We actually received several hard-hitting emails from the usual suspects but felt everyone needed a rest from the bickering. Apart from the protagonists, that is...

- EDITOR

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IBERSWITCH WAS NOT TO BLAME!

IN RESPONSE to the letter last week from Susan Bridgman, I am amazed at your willingness to print such a damning composition without first offering us an opportunity to comment, to give our account of the circumstances surrounding the delay in reconnection.

To me, this would seem like the most responsible thing to do considering the damage such a letter could do to our reputation.

There are two separate issues mentioned in Mrs Bridgman’s letter, that of an unpaid bill which caused them to lose their supply, and a letter from Iberdrola suggesting their supplier had not paid a bill. Because both Mrs Bridgman and yourselves do not fully understand the way the system operates, I am afraid your readers may be confused into thinking the

EDITOR’S NOTE: Letters and emails will only be considered for publication if the writer’s address and telephone contact number are provided (not for publication). This is for legal reasons and in case we need to contact you directly.

two matters are related.

That said, I hope I am correct in assuming, if you were happy to print Mrs Bridgmans letter, you will be happy to afford the same courtesy to us and allow us to clarify the facts – as we see them.

The power was cut-off because of an unpaid bill from a previous supplier.

The client elected to pay their bills on receipt of

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an invoice rather than by direct debit. Payments of utility bills are the responsibility of the consumer and choosing this method also relies on a reliable postal system.

The client contacted us to say they had lost supply so we established which bill had been missed and advised them to make a transfer and send us the proof of payment for us to present to the electricity company.

During our on-going telephone conversations Mrs Bridgman explained the situ-

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Raking up the dirt I VERY much agree with your Golf correspondent Ivie Davies that there is to much of a carefree attitude to raking bunkers. These people are the first to complain should they go into one.

There seems to be a large degree of nonchalance regarding the simple etiquette of golf.

Walking across tees rather than walking around them. Not repairing pitchmarks. I make a habit of repairing at least two on every green. Keeping your voice down. Not waiting to mark your card until it is your turn to tee off. This obviously brings up the scourge of slow play.

The point I can’t totally agree with Ivie

on is the positioning of rakes. I had the pleasure of talking to Alex Hay and Peter Alliss many years ago and their attitude was that the rakes should be put back into the bunker after use.

Their opinion was, and I agree, that any ball destined for the bunker should be allowed to enter it. Whether it hits the rake is immaterial.

These are my thoughts and I wonder what your thoughts on them are?

Great column, though!

COLIN CHATFIELD Ivie Davies has replied to you personally, Colin. But we welcome the thoughts of other golfers. Read Ivie’s latest golfing verdict on Page 46 -

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ation regarding her husband’s ill health. Wishing to provide practical help and support in these circumstances, regardless of the fact Iberswitch were not responsible for cutting off the supply, we offered to find alternative accommodation for the family until the matter could be resolved. This offer was declined.

We act on behalf of our customers and want the very best for them but sometimes, when things do not go smoothly, it is easier to point the finger of blame in our direction (which we accept as part of our role of acting as a bridge between customer and suppliers) rather than in the direction it rightly belongs.

When people are cut off for non-payment, once the bill has been paid the supply is usually returned within 24 hours. However, this is governed by the relevant grid company and the suggestion that anyone promised reconnection “within the hour” is simply ridiculous.

It is Iberdrola, the company they have since returned to, who caused this unacceptable delay in the first place and who should be at the centre of this debacle.

If any of our customers have issues or concerns we are always happy to help them on an individual basis and, should they have a complaint regarding the service we provide they should call our Care Team on 902027517.

DAVID ROOK Managing Director Iberswitch SL

Going legal?

Then check your points

HAVING seen the interesting letter from Bill Reeves (Edition 101) re problems obtaining his Spanish driving licnce, I thought the information below may also be of interest to your readers.

Having heard so many varying stories re changing an English licence to a Spanish one, I decided to go ahead and become ‘legal’ in this country. I took the medical as required to obtain a five-year licence and submitted all the relevant documents, whereupon I received a permit to drive until the Spanish authorities had informed the DVLA and were ready to issue my licence.

I duly received the Full Licence just under two months later, current until 1917.

In the two months between submission and issue I received a letter from the DGT (Spanish Trafico) informing me that "you may have six points or less" and giving details of the cost and procedure to attend a course enabling me to reinstate my licence with its full quota of points. As far as I was aware I had not lost any points since taking up residency some years ago and after showing my letter to my solicitor was told "that is just a formality" - ignore it, which I did.

Over the next three weeks I received five more of these letters, four in the post on the same day, which seem to confirm a computer ‘glitch’ and again dismissed them..

On receiving my licence (exactly two months from the day of applying), I decided to check on my points via the Trafico website (DGT.es) which is fairly straightforward.

On doing so I was astounded to find I had NIL POINTS and was therefore suspended from driving for six months before I could take a three-day course followed by a test (probably all conducted in Spanish) and at a cost of €320 to me.

The excuse was that the letters had somehow automatically caused the computer to delete points. Luckily, after a visit to Trafico in Alicante the problem was diagnosed as ‘computer error’ and I was reinstated with 12 points, much to my relief.

The moral of the story for anyone else deciding to go ‘legal’ is even though you may receive your licence, check the points you may/or may not have.

Otherwise you may be in the position I was whereby had I not checked and been stopped by Trafico whilst driving I was liable to arrest as a disqualified driver without being aware of the fact. Imagine all the problems that would have caused.

L M LEVETT, Catral I READ the article in edition 100 about driving licences and medicals. Could you s tell me how to get a copy of the new law to present to the police if pulled up?

Sometimes they are not as up-to-date as they should be.

DAVID COTGREAVE I think you’ll find they are as up-to-date as they want to be, David. But if you insist on educating them, try http://costaconsultingbureau.com/spanish-paperwork/new-driving-licence-rules-in-spain/

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Friday, February 8, 2013

THE GOOD KNIFE HANDS up those women who have had facelifts?

‘I was so conscious of my wrinkles that I used to sit with my head between my hands and stretch my face when I was talking to people’

I’m not talking about Botox, fillers and whatever - I mean the good old knife slashing into your face, cutting away big slivers of flesh, and stretching what’s left like a rubber mask.

If that doesn’t put you off, I’m Vincent Price.

Just the thought of it is enough to freak out the squeamish - not to mention the theory that those who invest in cosmetic surgery have too much vanity and not enough sanity.

Which is why surgicallyadjusted ex-wrinklies tend not to broadcast the fact that their features have been, shall we say, ‘freshened up’.

Indeed, I was quick to put down a female reader who wrote to me a while back asking where I had my facelift. I evaded the answer, hinting that I wouldn’t know a Jane before the op and (right), today with no make-up cosmetic surgeon from the In her heyday back in the away for future surgery there sadist who turned Sylvester Stallone’s mother into a Midlands, Jane - now 56 - and then.

Her daughter Joanne, now hideous Rocky Horror extra. was a real glamour girl in the 32, says: ‘‘I remember Mum Contrast my mock anger Monroe mould.

Perhaps that’s why she saving up for from when I with the attitude of my friend Jane Lilley and you would knew at the age of 40 that was a kid.’’ And Jane herself think we were from different she wanted her face ‘done’ - admits: “I was so conscious and started putting money of my wrinkles that I used to planets.

sit with my head between my hands and stretch my face when I was talking to people. “ When I looked in the mirror I looked like I was 100 years old.’’

There was never any question in her mind that she would be surgically rejuvenated when the time came and in her eagerness, the concept of a painful recuperation did not even cross her mind.

Fearless Jane, who ran Ricardo’s Bar in El Raso until last September, finally found time to fulfil her dream a month later. She checked into an Alicante hospital and joined in the banter as her features were surgically rearranged.

“I wanted to know what was going on. There was no way they were putting me to sleep,’’ she insists.

So the surgeon hammered and chiselled while Jane chatted. It must have been like a scene from Chatty Chatty Bang Bang.

The ‘new’ Jane emerged, face swathed in bandages, just as she and husband Graham were celebrating the sale of Ricardo’s.

“Customers kept coming up to me and saying ‘Gosh, you look so much less stressed,’ she laughs, delighted with the overall result of her surgery.

“I’m proud of my face now - really proud.

“I’d recommend it to any-

one. It cost me €5,500 plus €1,400 for a night in a private hospital. But it was worth every cent.’’

Confession time. Six years ago I too had my face ‘freshened up’ - but whilst it’s not a secret, neither is it something I broadcast to the European Community, Jane Lilley style.

The good news is that when people guess my age, they are usually way off target.

The bad news is that I’m sick of being told I look 93.

Am I joking? I’ll tell you all about it next week.

DONNA’S WEIGHT CONFESSION - See Page 15

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Friday, February 8, 2013

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Friday, February 8, 2013

'A' BAD PLACE TO 'B'

THEY say that attributing human emotions to inanimate objects is the first sign of madness.

Try telling that to my car.

Sure, the old jalopy gets me from A to B without complaint but if anything more is required of my not-fully-trusty (but very much rusty) fourwheeled metal steed . . . well, forget about it. It just doesn't want to know.

'I don't know why you don't trade that clunker in for a newer model,' Mrs S observed as we waited for the motoring

breakdown organisation to respond to my emergency rescue phone call.

'Because my motor and I have been through so much together,' I responded. 'I could no more part with that car than I would ever contemplate leaving YOU.' My comment was meant as a compliment but, of course, Mrs S took it completely the wrong way. 'You're comparing me with that bucket of bolts?' she

countered.

And then she flounced off to the nearest . . . well, there was no establishment open at that time of night so she stomped over to the nearest kerb and sat on it.

What a disappointing end to a pleasant evening. We'd had a rare meal out together and all had gone reasonably well.

'Would madam care for anything more?' our solici-

tous waiter had asked at our secluded table. 'Another meat pie perhaps?'

'Knock it off, Dave!' I snapped at him. 'Get back behind the bar and fetch us a couple of lagers.'

Mrs S grimaced. 'When you said you were taking me out for a meal tonight, I didn't expect pie and chips at the pub. I admit the gravy was tasty but it's certainly not my idea of a top nosh-up.'

'Sorry, luv,' I said, reaching across the table and tenderly scraping a sliver of flaky pastry from her chin with a beer mat. 'Every restaurant in town was booked up. You know what it's like on a . . . er . . . Thursday night.'

'Why couldn't we have dined at a nice country pub?' asked Mrs S. 'What? In OUR car?' I

cried aghast. 'You know it doesn't like going to strange places and tends to conk out if it doesn't know the area.'

'I know, I know,' said Mrs S resignedly. 'The old banger works fine between A and B but sometimes I would like to travel to C or D.' Before we could continue our alphabetical chat, Daft Barry shuffled over to our tucked-away corner table.

'Fancy a game of shove ha'penny?'

'Go away, Barry,' I said kindly. 'I'm content to remain here in the shadows.'

Daft Barry's jaw dropped.

'You're in Cliff Richard's backing group?'

Mrs S sighed. 'I'm beginning to feel like a gatecrasher in this inn.'

'Nonsense,' I argued. 'My pub mates think the world of you.'

'Will somebody shut that woman up,' mumbled Ol' Red Eyes. 'Some of us are trying to get to sleep here.'

Fast-forward half an hour.

Mrs S glared at me. 'I told you

I didn't feel comfortable in the pub. Now I'm even less comfortable sulking in a thin frock on this cold pavement. And as for your miserable excuse for a car, it couldn't even get from A to B tonight!'

'Wrong!' I exclaimed. 'It DID get from A to B. The car broke down on the return journey. From B to A.' Before Mrs S could throw a proper strop (or even a loose paving stone) a familiar face materialised.

'Hello, Dave!' he greeted me warmly. 'Blimey, I haven't see you in days. I was getting really worried. How's it going, my old mate? And who's the lady sitting shivering on the kerb?'

'Er, permit me to make the introductions,' I said. 'Mrs S, I'd like you to meet a dear friend of mine.'

'Another strange sidekick from the pub?' asked Mrs S. 'No, luv,' said my pal. 'I know your David through my work. I'm the local mechanic with your hubby's motoring organisation.'

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Friday, February 8, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSONS 57 THIS week we are going to be learning about ADVERBS. An adverb is a word that modifies a verb; all will become clear as we go on.

The first rule we will learn are the adverbs that in English end -MENTE. In Spanish adverbs can be formed from adjectives by adding the suffix -mente to the singular feminine form of the adjective. For example: Spanish English Spanish English inmediata immediate inmediatamente immediately extremada extreme extremadamente extremely obvia obvious obviamente obviously lenta slow lentamente slowly Adjectives that have the same form in the feminine as in the masculine, i.e. those that do not ever change their ending, take the suffix -mente without any changes: feliz happy felizmente happily final final finalmente finally This rule works for many Spanish adjectives but not all. You cannot make an adverb in this way just because the English version ends in -ly. For example, probable means likely, simpático, amigable means friendly, solo/solitario means lonely, encantador means lovely.

These such adjectives can be remembered by the fact that they can be used in the following phrase “in a ….......... way” which in Spanish would be “de modo + singular masculine adjective” or “de forma + singular feminine adjective” although it is not common to use such phrases and the addition of -mente may still be made.

E.g: Ella me saludó de forma amigable – she greeted me in a friendly way (or Ella me saludó amigablemente) Es probable que vengan – they are likely to come (or probablemente vengan) Juan se comporta de forma encantadora – Juan behaves in a lovely way (or Juan se comporta encantadoramente)

The Spanish adjectives solo (alone) and solitario (lonely) must not be confused with the Spanish words sólo and solamente which mean only, just: sólo/solamente quiero leche – I only want milk, ¡me siento tan solo! - I feel so lonely Some Spanish adverbs ending in -mente have a more specific meaning than their English language counterparts, for example: Les hablo fríamente – I speak to them coldly, El público aplaudió calurosamente – the public applauded warmly Sometimes rather than use an adverb the Spanish use a completely different structure to explain. For example, where an English speaker would say “she is warmly dressed” a Spanish speaker would say “ella lleva ropa de abrigo” Note: Presently meaning soon cannot be translated with mente but rather the word that is used is pronto. e.g: voy pronto – I am going soon More Spanish adjectives that are used as verbs are as follows, remember that if they not being used as adverbs they do not end in -mente.

Rápido/rápidamente – fast/quickly, directo/directamente – direct/directly.

I am sure you remember that adjectives agree in number and gender with the noun they are describing; for example, un hombre guapo, una chica guapa But when the adjective is used as an adverb they are only in the masculine form, e.g: Ella canta muy bonito - She sings very prettily.

This is because you are not tying the adverb to a noun which has masculine and feminine forms but of course to a verb which does not.

The adjective fácil (easy) can be used as an adverb in the same form, not necessarily as fácilmente for example, Antonio lo hace todo muy fácil – Antony does everything very easily.

Note: Fácil is not used in the English expression, ´take it

easy´; the most easily remembered way to say it would be relájate.

The adjectives alto and bajo almost never have the -mente ending. Instead you just use the adjectives as they are, even when used as adverbs. They signify high or low when used as adverbs if you are referring to height or level, for example: El avión vuela muy alto – the plane flies very high, estamos hablando muy bajo – we are talking very low When referring to position or location, the adverbs muy abajo (very low) and muy arriba (very high) are better alternatives, Él está situado muy abajo en la empresa – he is situated very low in the firm.

The adjectives flojo (loose), fuerte (strong), igual (the same/alike), and suave (soft) are often used as adverbs, the only one not to add -mente is flojo. dale flojo – hit it softly, Empuja fuerte – push it strongly, parecen igual - they seem alike, ellos hablan muy suave they speak very softly.

The most common of these is the word igualmente which is very often used and it means the same to you. It is said after someone wishes you a good day, or a good weekend, for example. So when I sign off each lesson with que tengas una buena semana you could reply with igualmente.

Whenever someone is wishing you something good (or bad if you are that way inclined!) it is good manners to reply with igualmente.

I will carry on with some more adverbs next week, until then keep practising and prepare for a lot of homework coming up, I feel you have been let off far too easily these past weeks.

Have fun and keep learning, soon we will be getting to other Spanish verb tenses so ensure your present tense is up to standard and the other tenses will not be so daunting.

As ever for any questions or comments you can contact me via The Courier. ¡Que tengas una buena semana! Hasta la próxima.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

TALKING THE DOG!

TOMORROW, Saturday February 9, I stage my first-ever seminar in Spain, where I am as you read this - away from the worst run of weather in the UK since I was born in the late sixties.

Summer forgot to visit Britain in 2012 and it has been an endless run of dark, cloudy and wet days. I have forgotten the last time I went on a dog walk and did not have to march continually through fields of mud. I genuinely do not remember what it feels like to walk down the road in warmth with the sun on your back.

I went out on a dog walk last week and it was so cold, it took about an hour to get the feeling back into my numb face on arriving home!

So to be in Spain and enjoying the effects of the sun will be greatly appreciated.

Pedro Rodriguez, one of my little Spanish dogs, has never liked the English weather. I remember on one of his first walks, it started to rain and he went and sat under the nearest tree, just wanting to get home to the warmth. Four years later and he never did adapt to the English climate, which is just as well, as we will be moving back to Spain for good in a few weeks, as long as everything runs to plan.

We lived in Spain for six months in 2011 and arriving back in the UK in August of that year, we have simply never been able to readapt to the English way of life. The traffic, the amount of people, the weather, the rushing, the yob culture, has all proved too much.

What saddens me the most is the sheer anger you see from people on the street.

I had to go to Central London the other day for a meeting and for a moment I stood outside Charing Cross Station, watching people flood out onto the streets of London.

I was there for five minutes looking at all the frustrated

Still time to book for my seminar

baskets from the strands of the Spanish countryside. At the end of each day, I would spot him at the bottom of his garden, sitting on an old tree trunk and staring in silence at the setting sun. The contentment and peace on his face, was a joy to see each evening.

“That is how you live life”, I thought. His want is for nothing of materialistic value and to see the joy on his face at witnessing a sunset, was all I needed to confirm that this man had got the meaning of life down to a fine art, rather that other people who are looking for their next big purchase to give them some sort of pleasure.

Joaquin probably does not even know it, but by just observing him, he has taught me a lot about life.

It has been a long wait, over 17 months, to sell our house and get back to Spain, but that time is almost here. Mr. Pedro Rodriguez has his little bag packed, along with his passport, as he awaits the long journey back to his native Spanish countryside.

I am really looking forward to the seminar tomorrow and my wish is that everyone attending enjoys it as much as the people back in London have.

Anyone wishing to attend, who has not yet bought tickets, can call me on my Spanish mobile number, which is 635 093 235, to confirm your place. The seminar starts at 11am and finishes at 5pm and the address is, The Emerald Isle Club, My friend Joaquin with Pedro Rodriguez Calle Marte 2, Urbanization La Florida, Orihuela Costa, faces starting another day. Not a single one appeared happy. 03189, Alicante.

My sincere thanks to everyone who has bought tickets Not one smile even.

In contrast, I think back to my Spanish neighbour, Joaquin, and supported this event.

I must go now…I have a sunset to watch. who use to start his day doing the work he loved, weaving

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Do you love dogs but cannot look after one full time? Why not come and help out at our kennels, the dogs love to see someone new. They love to go for walks and be groomed, or maybe you would like to feed and clean them. If you would like more information please contact Natasha on 616210850.

Data DATA is a small crossbreed and he is 5 years old. He was found in a very poor condition with a broken leg and head wound which was probably caused by a road traffic accident. Data is now in great shape and so full of life.He is fully vaccinated, micro chipped and castrated. 966 710 047 Beauty born 2012 Boxer/Labrador cross, very friendly playful dog. She would make a great family pet. For more information please telephone the P.E.P.A helpline 650 304 746 www.pepaspain.com

Prancer is around 5 months old and is the most beautiful, friendly boy, he is vaccinated and desperately needs a new home. Call 966 725 975. www.petsinspain.com

Maisie is a black Lab cross about 2 years old. She is fine with other dogs and is not interested in cats.

Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

KIARA is a small 1 year old female Podenco crossbreed.

She is so loving and affectionate. Her previous owners circumstances had become critical and Kiara was surviving on stale bread. She is fully vaccinated, micro chipped and spayed. 966 710 047

Prancer

Maisie

Kiara

Bonny is approx 18 months old and in need of a new home because her owner has been taken into hospital.

She is very friendly, vaccinated, chipped and spayed.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Bonny

VIKING is a 2 ½ year old male crossbreed. He is a friendly boy who loves to play and will make a very loyal companion; we really don’t understand why he is still here. Viking has been blood tested, fully vaccinated, micro chipped and castrated. 966 710 047

Viking

Friday, February 8, 2013

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LÍNEA DIRECTA BECOMES THE FIRST INSURER TO SELL ITS PRODUCTS VIA MOBILE TELEPHONE Línea Directa has launched its new website for mobiles, which makes it the first insurance company to distribute its products via smartphones. The new site, which uses xhtml technology, is compatible with the iOS, Android and Blackberry operating systems and is capable of offering customers a price in under 3 minutes while asking them no more than ten questions. In addition, unlike other websites, which use “masks” in their mobile versions, Línea Directa’s new quoting system is 100% adapted to smartphone technology.

The website will initially be available for offering car insurance quotes and will then be extended to cover the company’s motorbike and home insurance sectors. Linea Directa’s new page for smartphones also includes information on the insurer’s main products and services and offers a click-to-call service which allows users to send a request for the company to call them if they have any questions or if they wish to purchase the policy with the help of an operator.

With this new tool, the insurer hopes to record over 150,000 quotes per year and strengthen its position as the leader in Internet and mobile applications. The new quoting system has been designed taking into account aspects such as Internet surfing habits, easy operability, simplicity and user-friendliness for the customer.

Línea Directa’s commitment to mobile technology is part of the growing importance of Internet searches on smartphones, due to the fact that in 2015 over half of all organic searches on the Internet will be carried out using these devices.

Call now for more information on 902 123 104

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Friday, February 8, 2013

A FRIEND IN NEED

I AM very lucky to have met some great people during my time in Spain. In nearly eight years I have known people who have helped me to settle, who have enabled me to stay and who I am honoured to call friends.

This may sound like the start of a story about returning to the UK or moving on to other things but it isn´t. I have no intention of going anywhere, at least not at the moment. I am more than happy with my life here in Spain; although things could, of course, be better, they could also be a lot worse.

Reading and listening to the Spanish news has made me fully aware of how precarious things are in this country, with extremely high unemployment, people losing their houses every day and suicides unfortunately occurring amongst those who see no other way out.

Spain is not the Utopia it may have once been seen to be; however, for me it is home and I still am content with the way of life and especially the weather.

No, rather this is an article about being grateful for what we have and being thankful for it. One day we will all look back and remember people who have helped us, people who were there for us when we needed them, whether it was a shoulder to cry on or a companion for a good night out.

We need to remember that these people may not realise just how much we cherish having them in our lives and how much we appreciate what they do for us. So why not now, while the weather isn´t great and we may all be feeling a bit down, let those around us know in no uncertain terms how much they mean to us. It may just be a word of thanks, a card or a three course meal! There is no right way to show appreciation and sometimes the smallest deeds mean the most.

Being a single parent is hard; being a single parent without the other parent on the scene is even more difficult. Every time I want to do anything I have to rely on friends or babysit-

ters, there is no family for me to leave my son with, no one I feel ´ought´ to have responsibility for him.

However I do have wonderful friends, two of whom I have written about before. Nothing is too much trouble for them, they are always there when I need them and if ever they don´t want to look after my son I would never know because they are always offering; whether I need to work or want to go on a date, the offer is there almost before they know my plans. Some weeks it can get to a point where they see my son almost more than I do!

I have not long finished a relationship which lasted a while.

It ended last November and since then I have had a coffee with a few guys but I am loathe to introduce my son to anyone until I am sure the relationship is going to be more than just the occasional hour here or afternoon there. My little man

got quite attached to my last male friend and, although he has almost stopped talking about him there is still the memory and I don´t want him to be the sort of kid who grows up remembering lots of ´uncles´. So, while I am seeing a new guy I will try to keep my boy off the scene until I am sure I like this one enough and he likes me, and there may be some sort of future for us.

This is incredibly difficult to know, of course, but what is the alternative? I guess I could forget dating, concentrate on my son and work and not bother with men, but then that has never been my style. I like to have male companionship and as long as my friends are able to have my son I will continue to search.

Back to my original point. Of course there are many people here who have taken it upon themselves to make the lives of people like me as difficult as possible, people for whom gossip and rubbish are the norm. But I have known many lovely people in my life in Spain, probably more than all the time I was in the UK. People I think of still as friends, even though we may not talk any more, just occasionally checking each other’s updates on Facebook. But also there are those who have become firm friends, those I know I can rely on for anything, those that offer their car when mine´s in the garage, pals who offer to help in any way they can, from looking after my son down to dyeing my roots for me to save the price of a hairdresser!

I can count these friends on one hand and I know I am privileged and honoured to have them in my life. Sadly two of them have to go back to the UK soon, and I will miss them although we don´t see each other very often, when we do I love catching up over a coffee. So thank you to my special friends, and to all those who have shared a coffee or a glass of vino with me over the years, may there be many more.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

THE KING-SIZED DODGY DEALERS

SLUSH funds for Spanish political parties! Surely not?

El Pais newspaper has had quite a scoop with pictures of some apparently dodgy Partido Popular ledgers, which cover a couple of decades. That’s not good news for the government, whose public relations strategy is only marginally better than that of King Juan Carlos.

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy is one of the people implicated, though not surprisingly he strongly denies the charges, saying the PP has nothing to hide. And there was no surprise either when opposition leaders called for Rajoy to resign… as if they haven’t dipped their beaks into the old cesspit of corruption!

Meanwhile, the Public Prosecutor believes the money-laundering accusations need to be looked at and he plans to interview senior PP figures, including Rajoy. We’ll see what comes of it, but it’s yet another high profile scandal of corruption within Spanish politics. A day doesn’t seem to pass without some story of dodgy dealings at a local, regional, or national level.

Such matters seemed to be conveniently ignored or brushed under the carpet in the boom days of the Spanish economy, but in these recessionary days, everything is different. With the unemployment figures

DUMPY OLD GRAN’S BATTLE OF THE BULGE COURIER Editor Donna Gee has just completed the fourth week of a Sponsored Diet in which she has vowed two lose two-and-a-half stone.

She started her mega-slim on January 10, the 13th birthday of her granddaughter Daisy, who suffers from Crohn’s Disease and is awaiting major surgery. Thanks to the generosity of family, friends, Courier readers and even strangers, she has already raised well over £400 for the Crohn’s In Children Research Association (CICRA). Fo more information or to donate, go to www.justgiving.com/donna-gee or call The Courier.

The following is Donna’s latest update on her diet...

Onward and downward...

BUT THIS JUST ONCE-A-WEEK WEIGHTING GAME IS NOT ON

continuing to rise, there'll be zero sympathy from hardup honest Spaniards trying to put bread on the table, whilst their masters of all political colours treat them as fools.

What have British politicians done to promote school sports over the last 40 years or so? Not a lot, but they’re very keen to blame each other all the time.

Labour’s sports spokesman, Clive Efford, has rightly attacked the government on making cuts to school sports funding, and also ending the recom-

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mendation that there should be two hours of PE every week.

All of that doesn’t smack of an Olympic legacy to yours truly, but let’s see what the Education Secretary, Michael Gove, will have to say for himself later this month. He’ll be announcing a new school sports strategy, and of course he’ll have the legacy boss, Seb Coe, breathing down his neck.

Independent research shows there’s been a 60 per cent reduction over the last four years in organising school sports. That survey kicks back a few years, so I’d like to know why Mr. Efford’s party did nothing when they were in power?

The same point applies to the Tory days in charge, pre-Labour before 1997.

Surely everybody agrees that school sports are a really good thing, so why can’t all the politicians admit that they’ve completely ignored them for decades and unite for something good for future generations?

It was no great surprise that David Cameron got his Gay Marriage bill through the Commons on Tuesday night, despite 136 Tory MPs voting against. That was to

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be expected but the "cuddly feely" side of what Cameron has tried to do to the Conservatives has been left in tatters.

The Prime Minister is more popular in the country than the rest of his party, who are still spouting 20year-old slogans which show them to be hopelessly out of touch with all the changes in modern society.

You can also bet that those 136 MPs will be the first to hang out Cameron to dry if he loses the 2015 election!

It’s dreadful news for the Liberal Democrats that former Energy Secretary Chris Huhne has pleaded guilty to swapping round a car speeding penalty with his ex-wife. Besides the obvious fact that he lied all the way by proclaiming his innocence, his party face defending a majority of just under 4,000 at a byelection.

You might as well write the words Tory Gain in big capitals right now, something that Mr.Cameron has had little of, since becoming PM nearly three years ago.

That probably explained why Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg looked like Doctor Death in front of the TV cameras on Monday, with defeat in South Hampshire a racing certainty!

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WEIGH yourself only the night - varying by 1lb ONCE a week, the dieti- or more. cians tell you.

I also now know that I The best I’ve managed in am at my lightest at four weeks is three days around 11.30am....which of flabstinence - and that is why you’ll invariably was my first three days find me weighing in of dieting, when I just around that time every wanted the image of Mrs Wednesday.

Michelen Man out of my Initially I feigned shock life. at the revelation that I’d Ultimately, of course, I shed a a kilo or so. had to But I accept the TOTAL LOSS, 4 WEEKS a l w a y s proof of the have a puddings good idea and this last what the few days official I’ve felt like scales at (that’s 9lbs 14oz) the Princess the Beauty of Scales. a n d Problem is that my Wellness Centre at desire to know if I’ve Pueblo Bravo are going shed any more micro- to show - because I have grams is so overpower- a regular preview at ing that my customary home. Along with counttwo to three nightly loo less repeats. trips are now double-purSomeone has now sugpose missions. gested I give my bathIt’s a sort of ‘Where room scales away before there’s a wee there’s a they glue themselves perway’ routine - and in just manently to my feet. a couple of weeks, it has Mind you, that would be taught me that I am my like putting me on a heaviest in the evening - pedestal...as befits the and that my weight drops Princess of Scales I menprogressively through tioned earlier.

4.5 kilos

IN the four weeks since starting her diet, Donna’s weight has dropped from 93.2 kilos on January 10 to 88.7 kilos at this week’s Wednesday morning weigh-in. Her target is to lose 35 lbs (16 kilos) by the end of May.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

BREAKFAST IN BED Spoil your loved one this Valentines Day!

EGGS BENEDICT WITH SMOKED SALMON & CHIVES Ingredients 4 eggs 2 tbsp white wine vinegar 2 English muffins, halved a little butter, for spreading 8 slices smoked salmon chopped chives, to serve FOR THE HOLLANDAISE SAUCE 2 tsp lemon juice

2 tsp white wine vinegar 3 egg yolks 125g unsalted butter, diced

Method

1. First make the Hollandaise sauce. Put the lemon juice and vinegar in a small bowl, add the egg yolks and whisk with a balloon whisk until light and frothy. Place the bowl over a pan of simmering water and whisk until mixture thickens.

Gradually add the butter, whisking constantly until thick - if it looks like it might be splitting, then whisk off the heat for a few mins. Season and keep warm.

2. To poach the eggs, bring a large pan of water to the boil and add the vinegar. Lower the heat so that the water is simmering gently. Stir the water so you have a slight whirlpool, then slide in the eggs one by one. Cook each for about 4 mins, then remove with a slotted spoon.

3. Lightly toast and butter the muffins, then put a couple of slices of salmon on each half. Top each with an egg, spoon over some Hollandaise and garnish with chopped chives.

BANANA PANCAKES WITH CRISPY BACON & SYRUP Ingredients 8 rashers smoked streaky bacon (or pancetta strips) 140g self-raising flour 1 tsp baking powder 2 tbsp light soft brown sugar 2 ripe bananas, 1 mashed, 1 thinly sliced 2 large eggs 25g butter, melted, plus a little extra 125ml milk maple syrup

Method

1. Heat the grill to high. Arrange the bacon on a baking tray

lined with foil. Cook for 5-7 mins until crisp, then turn off the grill but leave the tray inside to keep warm. In a bowl, mix the flour, baking powder and sugar with a pinch of salt.

Make a well in the centre and add the mashed banana, eggs, butter and milk. Whisk to a smooth batter without any flour lumps.

2. Heat a little butter in a large frying pan. Once sizzling, ladle in small dollops of the pancake batter, leaving a little space between each, as they will spread out. Put 2 or 3 slices of banana onto the surface of each pancake and cook for 2 mins over a medium heat. When you see bubbles appear between the banana slices, flip the pancakes over and cook for 1 min more, until puffed up and golden.

Transfer to a plate and keep warm with the bacon while you cook the rest. Serve the pancakes with the crispy bacon and a drizzle of maple syrup.

ONE-PAN ENGLISH BREAKFAST Ingredients 4 good-quality pork chipolatas 4 rashers smoked back bacon 140g button mushrooms 6 eggs, beaten 8 cherry tomatoes, halved handful grated cheese (optional) 1 tbsp snipped chives

Method

1. Heat the grill to high. Heat a medium non-stick frying pan, add the chipolatas and fry for 3 mins. Add the bacon, turning occasionally, until it starts to crisp, about 5 mins more. Tip in the mushrooms and continue to cook for a further 3-5 mins.

Drain any excess fat and move the ingredients so they are evenly spread out.

Friday, February 8, 2013

2. Season the eggs, then add to the pan, swirling to fill the spaces. Gently move with a fork for 2 mins over a low-medium heat until beginning to set. Scatter over the tomatoes, cheese, if using, and chives, then grill for 2 mins until set. Cut into wedges and serve with your favourite sauces.

CHORIZO HASH WITH POACHED EGG Ingredients 300g new potatoes, quartered olive oil 40g chorizo, cut into strips 1 red chilli, finely chopped ½ a small bunch parsley, chopped 2 eggs, poached

Method

1. Boil the potatoes until tender, drain and cool. Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a large non-stick frying pan and fry, turning over until golden and crisp. Add the chorizo and chilli and fry for another 3-4 minutes until chorizo is crisp. Season then stir through the parsley.

2. Serve the potatoes topped with poached eggs.

BRIOCHE FRENCH TOAST WITH WARM BLUEBERRY COMPOTE Ingredients 2 eggs 4 tbsp milk 1 tbsp caster sugar a drop of vanilla extract 4 thick slices brioche from a loaf butter for frying

vanilla ice cream to serve BLUEBERRY COMPOTE 100g blueberries 1 tbsp caster sugar a squeeze of lemon juice

Method

1. Put the compote ingredients in a pan.

Heat gently until the blueberries start to pop and release their juice then simmer for 2-3 minutes until jammy.

2. To make the French toast, mix together the eggs, milk, sugar and vanilla extract until the sugar has dissolved. Dip the bread in the egg mix so it is thoroughly coated. Fry slices in the butter until golden brown on both sides. Serve the French toast with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and the blueberry compote.

ALL-IN-ONE BAKED MUSHROOMS Ingredients 2 4 4 4

tbsp olive oil very large field mushrooms slices good-quality cooked ham eggs

Method 1. Heat oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7. Drizzle a little olive oil over the base of a ceramic baking dish, then pop in the mushrooms.

2. Drizzle with the remaining oil and seasoning. Bake for 15 mins until soft, then remove from the oven.

3. Tuck the ham slices around the mushrooms to create little pockets. Crack the eggs into the pockets, then return to the

Continued on Page 18

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Friday, February 8, 2013

oven for 10 mins until the egg white is set and the yolk is still a little runny. Serve scooped straight from the dish. Great with baked beans and chips.

CINNAMON PORRIDGE WITH BANANA & BERRIES Ingredients 100g porridge oats ½ tsp cinnamon, plus extra to serve 4 tsp demerara sugar 450ml skimmed milk 3 bananas, sliced 400g punnet strawberries, hulled and halved 150g pot fat-free natural yogurt

Method

1. In a medium-sized saucepan, mix the oats, cinnamon, sugar, milk and half the sliced bananas. Bring to the boil, stirring occasionally. Turn down the heat and cook for 4-5 mins, stirring all the time.

2. Remove and divide between 4 bowls, top with the remaining banana, strawberries, a dollop of yogurt and a sprinkle of cinnamon.#

POSH BEANS ON TOAST Ingredients onion, finely chopped garlic clove, crushed olive oil, for frying 400g tin chopped tomatoes pinch dried chilli flakes 400g tin cannellini beans or borlotti beans, drained handful basil leaves 4 slices ciabatta, toasted parmesan shavings, to serve

Method

1. Cook the onion and garlic in a little olive oil until the onion is soft and translucent. Add the tomato, chilli flakes and beans, season well and simmer until the sauce is rich and thick. Stir through the basil then pile onto toast and top with Parmesan.

BRIE & SPINACH CROISSANTS Ingredients 2 croissants, slit open lengthways butter 100g young leaf spinach, washed 6 thick slices of brie ½ garlic clove, crushed

Method

1. Heat the grill to high. Cook the spinach in a little butter with the garlic until wilted. Squeeze out excess liquid. Lightly toast the croissants on the cut side then pile on the spinach and brie. Grill again until oozing, then fold together.

GARLIC BACON BUTTIES Ingredients 6 rashers rindless back bacon 1 white country loaf butter, for spreading 3 tbsp tomato chutney 1 large garlic clove, peeled, cut in half

Method 1. Heat a griddle or frying pan, then cook the bacon for 3 mins each side or until golden and crisp.

Cut 6 thick slices from the loaf and butter each one on one side. Spread the chutney evenly over 3 slices of the bread and top each with 2 rashers of bacon. Top with the other slices of bread, buttered side down, then press together well.

2. Return the butties to the pan over a medium heat (you'll have to do this in batches), then toast for 2-3 mins each side until golden. Remove from pan, then rub both sides with cut side of the garlic clove. Cut the butties in half and serve straight away.

PARSNIP HASH BROWNS Ingredients 450g waxy potatoes (such as Charlotte) 350g parsnips or other root veg 1 small onion, halved and thinly sliced 1 garlic clove, finely chopped 1 egg, beaten 4-5 tbsp sunflower oil TO SERVE 6 rashers of streaky bacon or slices of prosciutto 6 stems of cherry tomatoes on the vine 6 eggs

Method 1. Peel and coarsely grate the potatoes and parsnips - if you're using a food processor, attach the medium grater.

Squeeze out as much liquid as possible with your hands and put them in a bowl.

2. Stir in the onion, garlic, egg and season if you like. Divide the mixture into six and roughly shape into flat cakes. Heat 2 tbsp of the oil in a large non-stick frying pan and fry three of the cakes on a low heat for 4-5 mins on each side until golden and tender. Transfer to kitchen paper with a slotted spoon and leave to cool while frying the remainder, adding remaining oil as necessary. Meanwhile grill the bacon and tomatoes, poach the eggs and serve alongside.

SAUSAGE & EGG BAPS WITH SPICY TOMATO SAUCE Ingredients 12 Cumberland sausages 1 tsp vegetable oil 4 large eggs 4 large soft white or wholemeal baps FOR THE SAUCE 4 large, ripe plum tomatoes, chopped 1 tsp English mustard powder ½ tsp chilli flakes 1 tbsp each red wine vinegar, soft brown sugar, tomato ketchup

Method

1. Place all the ingredients for the sauce in a large pan.

Cook over a medium-high heat for 10-12 mins until most of the liquid has evaporated and the tomatoes have broken down, leaving you with a thick, spoonable

sauce.

2. Squeeze the sausagemeat from the skins and shape into 4 flat patties. Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Cook the patties for 4 mins each side, squashing them down with the back of a spatula, until crisp and golden on both sides.

Remove from the pan and keep warm.

3. Heat the grill. Crack the eggs into the pan and cook to your liking. Meanwhile, slice open the baps and lightly toast, cutside up, under the grill. Add a spoonful of the spicy tomato sauce to each bap, then a sausage patty, then top with a fried egg.

FRENCH TOAST STUFFED WITH BANANA & MAPLE SYRUP Ingredients 2 large ripe bananas 1 tbsp maple syrup, plus extra to serve 2 eggs 50ml milk 50ml double cream drop of vanilla extract 50g caster sugar 1 tsp cinnamon pinch of nutmeg 1 large brioche loaf, cut into 4 x 2in slices 100g butter vanilla yogurt, to serve

Method

1. Peel and slice the bananas, mash with the maple syrup and set aside. Place the eggs, milk, cream, vanilla, sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg in a wide, shallow bowl and whisk to combine.

2. Heat oven to 160C/140C fan/gas 3. Using a sharp knife, slice open each slice of brioche from the top to form a pocket, leaving at least 1cm around the edges. Stuff the pockets with the banana mix. Soak the stuffed brioche in the egg mix for 30 secs on each side.

3. In a large non-stick pan, melt half the butter. When sizzling, place the brioche in the pan and fry for 2 mins each side until golden. You may have to do this in batches.

Transfer to the oven to warm through for 5 mins. Serve drizzled with extra maple syrup and a spoonful of vanilla yogurt.

Friday, February 8, 2013

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Friday, February 8, 2013

DEALING WITH The Benefits of ADDICTION Oregano

THIS week we are moving away from the body to talk a bit about the mind and well-being.

Do you have an addiction?

Do you wake up each morning and think about your problem which won’t go away?

Do you feel powerless and that your life has become unmanageable?

We are currently seeing quite a lot of people for counselling who are dealing with different types of addiction.

We all have life problems at some time and some of our patients believed that moving abroad would be the answer to some of their problems and have been disappointed to find that sometimes instead of getting better they have in fact become worse.

Here at Medaesthetics, our Addiction Counselling has proved to be immensely popular and has helped many people to deal

with their addictions using a modern day approach of encouragement and support we help our clients to see a way out of their situation.

Addictions are formed by our attitudes which are emotional responses to situations, people and ideas. If our early years, our problems, or our experiences with the disease of addiction have clouded our thinking with resentment, fear and self pity then we need to change our attitudes.

We can show our clients a new way to live an addiction-free life. Where there is no hope we can help them to see a way out.

We work purely on a one to one basis in complete privacy thereby ensuring client confidentiality.

We are very aware of financial constraints and therefore you will find our costs very sensible and affordable for most people.

Call us now and let us help you. to make life better for you and your loved ones.

The herb we know as oregano is a native of northern Europe, where it grows freely. In addition, oregano has been cultivated for centuries, and the herb can now be found throughout the world.

Oregano is prized not only for its strong flavor and pleasant aroma, but for its health benefits as well.

Oregano is known to have strong antibacterial properties, perhaps as a result of the volatile oils the herb contains. Some of these powerful volatile oils include thymol and carvacrol. Both of these substances have been shown to inhibit the growth of many kinds of bacteria,

including some that cause serious food borne illnesses.

Mexican researchers have even studied oregano as a treatment for the common bacteria disease known as giardia. This common amoeba is common throughout the world, and it can cause serious illness in

those afflicted. In one study, oregano proved to be more effective at treating giardia than the commonly .

The health effects of oregano do not stop with its antibacterial properties, however. Oregano is also a powerful source of many antioxidant vitamins. Antioxidant vitamins are thought to play a vital role in the prevention of many forms of cancer, as well as perhaps slowing down the aging process.

Oregano has been shown to have over 42 times the antioxidant activity as apples, 30 times higher than potatoes and 12 times more than oranges. As a matter of fact, ounce for ounce oregano is thought to be one of the most antioxidant dense of all foods.

HEALTH ON A BUDGET – BENEFITS OF GARLIC Garlic has been cultivated all around the world for more than 7000 years. It was well known by the ancient Egyptians, as a culinary spice and medicinal herb.

Throughout history, garlic has been famous for its ability to fight infections. From the middle ages, garlic has been used to treat wounds and avoid the spread of infection by slicing or dicing the cloves and applying it directly to wounds. The Russians refer to garlic as ‘Russian Penicillin’. The Mediterranean diet has long been considered one of the healthiest in the world, and

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to machimannu@gmail.com

garlic is an important component of this diet. Garlic contains a wide range of organic compounds known to play important roles in maintaining good health. The most important is known as allicin.

However allicin is not present in fresh whole garlic cloves. Instead fresh garlic contains another compound, alliin, an amino acid unique to the garlic family. Alliin is converted to the useful compound Allicin when garlic cloves are cut and crushed,

releasing its characteristic odour. If garlic is cooked whole without crushing, the enzyme alliinase that converts alliin to allicin is inactivated and the health benefits of garlic is lost. Garlic has numerous health benefits, mainly due to its very powerful antioxidant properties.

Antioxidants are substances capable of mopping up toxic free radicals that cause chronic diseases such as heart disease, Alzheimer’s and cancer. Garlic also has

antiseptic, antibacterial and antiviral properties. A recent publication by researchers at the Washington state university showed that a compound derived from raw garlic, diallyl sulfide had the ability to kill bacteria when it is protected by a slimy film that makes it 1000 times more resistant to other antibiotics. The researchers concluded that this garlic compound was as effective as 100 times more of the antibiotics erythromycin and

ciprofloxacin, and would work at a fraction of the time.

As an antioxidant, garlic protects cholesterol from damage, thereby protecting the body against atherosclerosis (hardening of arteries).

Garlic also has a mild blood pressure lowering effect.

Several studies found that taking up to 900 mg of Garlic was able to lower blood pressure in a 4 week period.

A special garlic extract, Kastamonu garlic, was found to reduce the size of an enlarged prostate by 32% and significantly improve urinary symptoms in one clinical study. However it is not

known if other forms of garlic would have the same effect.

Garlic has also been demonstrated to kill parasites such as hookworm, roundworms and pinworms, but the amount of garlic needed to achieve this is not known.

Garlic has also been used traditionally to treat warts.

One study involving children found a complete recovery from warts in 9 weeks when garlic cloves where cut in half and applied directly on the warts and covered overnight. A compound – ajoene found in garlic is a powerful antifungal and is used to treat Athlete’s foot.

Crushed raw garlic applied directly to Athlete’s foot may also be effective. Other infections treated by garlic include the common cold and sore throat. Participants in a clinical trial who took garlic supplements during the winter months had 63% less colds and 70% fewer day’s ill than the control group. People who wish to supplement with garlic and do not mind the odour can chew from one to two cloves of garlic daily. And for those who would prefer it without the odour, it is available as capsules containing 500 mgs of garlic extract from Douglas Laboratories.

For A Full Body Diagnostic Scan, contact Dr Machi Mannu

Friday, February 8, 2013

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Help! I’ve a lump as big as an orange…

Q

Hello Dr, when I lie on my back and lift my straight legs up in the air, I have a lump that appears on my stomach. It’s the size of an orange and it’s not hard and not painful and when I stand up straight it’s gone. I am doing upper body exercises, and would like to do sit-ups but because of the lump could I be doing damage?? I am a 75 year old male, please help.

A

The lump you describe may be subcutaneous fat, which is the fatty tissue directly under the skin. Usually, subcutaneous fat thickens as we grow older because our metabolic rate slows down with age. There are other causes of a lump in the stomach such as an umbilical hernia, but the absence of pain makes this unlikely in your case. Lumps can also be caused by lipomas – benign tumours, which grow between the skin and muscles, but again this is also unlikely in your case because the lump disappears when you stand straight. I do not think you will do yourself any damage if you continue with the sit-ups, but you should see your doctor to find out exactly what is causing the lump.

Q

Dear Dr. My husband (age 73) is a type 2 diabetic and has been for about 6 years. He takes 2 tablets 3 times a day (repaglinida normon 2mg and metformina 850 mg) and we watch his sugar intake very carefully. He eats only grana-

ry bread that I bake for him (no white flour, no spaghetti, no rice) potatoes, veggies and only half an apple at a time. He drinks brandy which does not seem to affect him, in fact if he has a coffee and brandy in the morning his sugar goes down! He drinks no other alcohol except for a glass of red wine about 3 times a week. He has porridge for breakfast most days. We eat a proper lunch and he has sandwich with tea before he goes to bed.

When he goes to bed he is OK between 102 and 117. When he wakes up he is between 138 and 200+. We are trying so hard to keep him on the right food and still he goes up a lot at night. We are wondering if his tablets are right or need adjusting or if there is a diabetic doctor we can consult that you know of. He started on metformina and they added the normon 2mg to go with it a couple of years later. He sees a diabetic nurse every 2 months at the health centre but

he only takes his blood pressure, weight and sugar. He has an ECG at times, his eyes are checked every 18 months and there is no change, his sight is very good for his age and he has just had his hands and feet checked and there is plenty of circulation.

It is very likely that the cause of your husband’s raised blood sugar in the morning is the sandwich he eats at night before he goes to bed. It is true that white bread raises blood sugar levels in diabetics; however brown bread, even granary bread is no better.

Granary is a registered trade name of Rank Hovis Ltd, and is made with brown flour and malted wheat grains added for its nutty flavour. Foods especially bread made with wheat flour, irrespective of the type (white or brown) is the real danger to diabetics.

Glycemic index (GI) ranks carbohydrate foods based on how quickly the body converts them into glucose (blood sugar) to cause insulin release into the blood stream.

Glycemic Index uses a scale of 0 to 100, with higher values given to foods that cause the most rapid rise in blood sugar. Pure glucose serves as a reference point, and is given a Glycemic Index (GI) of 100. Foods below a GI of 55 do not raise blood sugar levels, while foods above 55 can raise blood sugar levels. Granary bread has a GI of about 70.

A

The problem with bread is the wheat flour it is made from. The form of carbohydrate stored in wheat is called amylopectin, and it is readily digested in the gut. Amylopectin is formed by long strands of glucose (blood sugar) attached to each other and forming many branches making it easily digestible.

For this reason foods made from wheat such as pasta, spaghetti, bread, cakes, pastries, etc. should be avoided by diabetics. Grains in their natural form have a low GI, while processed carbohydrates such as flour have a high GI. This is because it takes longer for digestive enzymes to reach the starch deep inside grains to release sugar. With processed grains such as wheat flour, it is far easier for digestion to occur, causing spikes in blood sugar levels. Alcohol when taken in moderate amounts has actually been found to improve glucose tolerance in some people, as your husband has found out.

However diabetics who drink have been found to have a higher risk of developing eye and neurological damage. R-Lipoic Acid is a supplement that has been well studied and shown to reduce the risk of developing diabetic complications such as damage to the eyes, feet, heart and nerves. Your husband should consider taking this supplement. A high fibre diet is known to control blood sugar levels. Fruits, vegetables, seeds, oats and whole grain products are all high in fibre.

Other healthy foods for diabetics include; extra virgin olive oil and fish.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: William was having problems opening .pdf files ADVICE: Brian was having problems uninstalling proand attachments grams from his computer.

Hi Richard, I bought a lap top in the UK a few months ago and initially I was unable to open PDF attachments to e-mails. I went back to PC World and a member of staff downloaded Yahoo software to allow me to open these attachments but I have since discovered I cannot open attachments in web sites, such as Easyjet, I cannot open boarding passes etc. I have Free PDF Tablet on my desktop but when I try to open the attachments all that comes up is Free PDF Tablet has stopped working (A problem caused the programme to stop working correctly.

Windows will close the programme and notify you if a solution is available). There never seems to be a solution. Can you recommend any software I may download to correct this? Thank you

Q

A

Hi William, many apologies for the delay in replying to your email.

The best software to use to open .pdf files and attachments is Adobe Reader, you can download a free version of it from http://get.adobe.com/reader, once downloaded and installed you should be able to open .pdf files to your heart’s content.

Hi Richard, after reading your column on Friday the 18th of January I took your advice and downloaded the free version of Avast successfully, so then I clicked on control panel to uninstall my free AVG 2013 but nothing happened tried again and a window appeared saying please wait until current program is finished uninstalling or being changed, I have tried many times but no good so I tried to uninstall another item in control to see if it worked but still get the same reply. Hope you can help, in simple language please (silver surfer). Regards, Brian

Q

Hi Brian, ok this is because the Windows Installer - the thing that ensures that only one thing is installed and therefore has access to the operating system at any one time has become …. well let’s say “confused”.

You need to give it a good telling off, you can do this by doing the following…

1. Click on Start (bottom left hand corner of the screen usually) 2. Type msiexec /unreg and then press ENTER (note the space after the “c” and before the “/”) 3. Click on Start again 4. Type msiexec /regserver and then press ENTER (again note the space “c” and before the “/”) … then restart the computer and try to do your uninstall again, you should find that it behaves this time – hope that is plain enough English for you.

A

ADVICE: Ray wanted to know whether he could run a ADVICE: Karl wanted to know whether there were any malware detector alongside his current antivirus solu- good translation sites available tion.

Hi I have a netbook with windows 7.

Protection is provided by the usual windows firewall, defender and also the latest Avast free download.

Would it be any advantage to also have SuperAntiSpyware on my Pc? Would it clash with Avast, which i believe is highly recommended? Is it even necessary? Your advice would be appreciated. Regards, Ray

Q

Hi Ray, the short answer is yes.

SUPERAntiSpyware is an excellent malware detector and can run alongside your current antivirus solution (of which Avast is a good choice based on the research I did the other week). Installing Avast will automatically disable Windows Defender (as they do the same thing and Avast is much better at it!) which is no bad thing. It’s a good thing to supplement whatever antivirus program you choose with a good malware scanner and both SUPERAntiSpyware and Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware both do an excellent job.

You can get SUPERAntiSpyware free from http://www.superantispyware.com and Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware free from www.malwarebytes.org

Q A

Hello Richard, I always find your page in the Courier very helpful. Could you recommend a free or to purchase good translation site which actually works? Look forward to read your comment. Karl Hi Karl, I find that Google Translate - http://translate.google.co.uk works pretty well.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

A

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, February 8, 2013

W H Y OV E R- 5 0 S ARE JUST THE JOB

PLENTY of things got right up my nose this week - it's difficult to know where to start!

First is the news that the over 50s are taking more jobs which should be going to young people.

Now here's a surprise. How on earth are the 50-pluses supposed to live until they reach retirement age, which is continually pushed later and later?

Are you supposed to curl up and die when you get past 50 so that some 20 something can get a job?

The fact is that, given the choice, an employer would far prefer to employ a mature 50 something than wet-behind-the-ears kids who think they know everything and demand sky-high wages for doing next to nothing.

Many kids today haven't the work ethic and much of the problem is that they know that if all else fails there's a welfare state to fall back on.

q

Next story that got my goat was news that some young children spend so much time strapped in buggies or in chairs watching TV that they can barely walk.

One headmaster reported that a young child spent so much time watching TV he could hardly chew (presumably having a dummy in his mouth for hours on end).

Society really must come to terms with problem families who are condemning the next generation to absolute misery.

Personally, I believe the time is coming the worst offenders in society will have to be forcibly sterilised.

Now won't those who continually embrace the Human Rights Act love that!

q

Here's another which is just plain crazy. The EU rightly phased out subsidies to tobacco farmers and tobacco production declined. But now the EU is considering allowing individual countries to determine subsidies.

And the fear is that millions will go back to farmers to grow tobacco, which kills hundreds of thousands of people each year. Damned EU and it's crazy farming subsidies!

q

Here's a biggie to get us all angry. One of the oldest political tricks in the book - if you have done something unpopular, create a smokescreen blaming it on someone else.

Motorists have had to put up with these dirty tricks for years over the sky-high price of petrol and particularly diesel in the UK.

Politicians have tried to put the blame on speculators and oil companies, and have been very successful with this smokescreen, many believing that they are the culprits.

But the Office of Fair Trading has finally debunked that idea, putting the blame back on politicians.

They have found that the basic price of fuel in the UK before tax is added is one of the lowest in Europe.

It is only after the government has done its worst and slapped sky-high taxes on fuel that the cost becomes so high.

Thanks a bunch. Motorists have been footing the bill for all the government excesses and we all know where much of the vast amount of money goes – yes, to maintain Britain's role as the number one benefit nation in Europe.

While roads all across the UK are cracking up with more and more potholes, and the archaic road network is causing the country to grind to a halt, the government is hell bent on pushing ahead with a high-speed rail network from London to the North.

What an appalling waste of money this is! The priority should be to get the road network sorted first. Spain, France, Germany and other European countries have road networks which allow motorists to burn the kilometres in double quick time.

Cross the Channel and it's slow, slow, stop.

The Office of Fair Trading also criticised the sky-high cost

of fuel at UK motorway filling stations. And why is it more expensive there? Yes, it's the government again, with their massive rents on all motorway service station businesses which have to be passed on to customers, i.e. motorists.

But it's not just the government ripping motorists off, it's councils too, and they are doing it big time.

Over-zealous traffic wardens and cameras trained on junction boxes ready to catch a motorist stopping in one are well documented.

But how about this for a rip off? A small businessman took a brand new van to a signwriter to have his company name and logo painted on it.

And on the way back from the workshop he was caught in a spot check by Haringey Council money grabbers.

They were on the lookout for dodgy vehicles, fly tippers and anyone they could slap a ticket on.

They spotted the van was not yet displaying a nosmoking sticker inside, and gave the driver an onthe-spot £200 fine.

You would have thought even a jobsworth would have realised that it was unfair to fine anyone taking delivery of a van from the workshop. But not in money-grabbing Britain.

Ironically, had the company name not been written on the van it would not have been considered a trade vehicle and not needed a no smoking sign.

Even more ironically, the maximum fine for actually smoking in the vehicle would have been £50 – a quarter of the penalty for not displaying a sign. Madness or what in crazy Britain?

A 50-year-old alcoholic lay dead in a block of flats near Brighton seafront for two years before being discovered.

He sometimes upset neighbours with his noise, so when the racket stopped they thought good, he had gone away, and thought nothing more about it.

When rent arrears piled up council officials finally visited and found the body.

This is by no means the first such sad case and it won't be the last. There are expats out here who are hidden away behind walls and shutters and don't see another soul from one week to the next.

OK, it's their choice, but how sad it is that someone can die and no-one misses them. On another level, how come it takes a council two years to discover the man is no longer out and about and paying his rent?

q

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS I RECENTLY went to Dr Machi Mannu for a full body scan and I can sincerely say it changed my life.

I had been suffering lots of pain for a very long time, I have been diagnosed with Osteoarthritis and Osterporosis and I have a fracture in my lower spine.

I was experiencing agonising bone and joint pain and for months I had been plagued with headaches so bad I had to go to the hospital on more than one occasion. All of this combined made me very tired and I had no energy.

I had to give up work and I became very depressed and that is when I made the decision to visit Dr Machi Mannu.

He is unlike any other doctor I have been to both in Spain and the UK – He really cares!

Game, set and Machi! Courier’s dazzling doc wins in every way He took the time to ask me questions and take on board my answers and then he invited my questions. I felt relaxed and comfortable in his clinic.

I have found most doctors talk to you whilst using their computers, Dr Machi looked at me when we spoke and I felt he was interested in my ailments and was keen to help sort my medical problems and find solutions for me.

I immediately felt better after my scan because I realised for the first time in my life that I had met a doctor that really cares

about my health (not time or money) and making me better.

Two days after my scan I had a phone call from Dr Machi just to ask how I was feeling.

I was shocked, but very pleased.

I was put on a metabolic cleanse together with various other supplements (which I would like to point out were not forced on me

by Dr Machi and I certainly felt no pressure to buy them) that were prescribed especially for my problems to work together and complement each other.

Within 24 hours of taking these I started to

feel better and within one week I felt like a new person.

I am now back at work with no aches and pains and I have so much energy, I truly cannot believe how good I feel and I did not think it was possible.

I keep in contact with Dr Machi and he is always emailing me checking up on my health and generally just asking how I feel.

I cannot thank Dr Machi Mannu enough, I really feel he has helped save my life.

I would recommend the full body scan to everyone and my Partner is going next week.

A very, very, very happy patient SUSAN BINKS DR MACHI MANNU’S EXCLUSIVE WEEKLY COLUMN IS ON PAGES 20-21

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Friday, February 8, 2013

LAPPING UP THE SPANISH CULTURE IN LOS MONTESINOS

If you are sick of living in “Little Britain” and crave a bit of traditional Spanish culture, the quaint town of Los Montesinos is the ideal place to find it.

Situated only a stones throw away from the popular city of Torrevieja, Los Montesinos has changed dramatically over the past twenty years, evolving from a small market town to a thriving international community. However, in spite of the new developments and influx of foreign residents,

holiday makers and businesses in the area, it has managed to retain its Spanish roots and customs.

Los Montesinos remained a mainly agricultural town for centuries, with its history dating back to Roman times. It emerged as people began to settle around the ancient Roman Road link, the “Via Augusta”, which once formed a major route through Spain. The town takes its name from the prosperous family which owned most of the land upon which it was devel-

oped. The territory came under the jurisdiction of the City Council of Almoradí, from the sixteenth century to the year 1990, at which time a royal decree by the Valencian Government approved its status as an independent municipality.

From its location to the northern side of the Torrevieja salt lakes, Los Montesinos benefits from a unique micro-climate, enjoying very mild winters and warm summers, as well as clean, fresh air which make it one of the healthiest places to live. For anyone wishing to buy or rent a property, or merely visit Los Montesinos for a holiday, it is in a perfect location in relation to the area's golf courses, shopping centres and a plethora of other tourist attractions.

Neighbouring nature reserves and their lakes are great spots for bird watching, walking, cycling and horse riding. The beaches of Torrevieja, La Mata, Orihuela Costa and Guardamar del Segura are also within easy driving distance.

Los Montesinos is famous for its hectares of lemon and orange groves, which are a key to how people living there used to make a living, surviving on the land and the export of its produce. The citrus fruit and vegetable industry is still important for the town, although tourism and property development did take precedence during the early 2000’s, prior to the economic crisis. In terms of industrial output, Los Montesinos is home to a variety of companies manufacturing building materials, carpentry goods

and furniture warehouses.

The town is also proud to have a bustling market, which takes place every Friday and offers all manner of wares from fresh fruit and vegetables to flowers and leather goods.

Los Montesinos benefits from a modern Town Hall and pleasant square, or Plaza Mayor, where visitors can find a selection of bars and restaurants serving international cuisine, including reasonably priced tapas or “Menu del Dia”. It is here that Los Montesinos celebrates its independence, or

Friday, February 8, 2013 “Aniversario de la segregaciĂłnâ€? on July 30, as well as a multitude of other colourful fiestas throughout the year. The Plaza is a particularly good place to mingle with the natives, who will often gather there for hours during the evenings to enjoy a drink and nibble while the children are playing. Los Montesinos has a strong community spirit, with various clubs and societies operating there, including its own bowling club, welcoming members of all nationalities.

For a gentle dip into the Spanish culture, Los Montesinos is the perfect starting point. And with so much to offer to visitors, you cannot be disappointed.

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Friday,December February 8, Friday, 16,2013 2011

quiz SAM ENCHANTED Friendly puts AECC Rugby-mad Wally’s EVENING! 80th birthday shock in the Pink LIFELONG rugby fan Wally Hutt had seen it all during eight decades following his beloved Wales. Apart, that is, from the imperious Millennium Stadium built just 12 years ago to replace the outdated Cardiff Arms Park.

So when his youngest son Nick lured him back to the UK for his 80th birthday with a four-day package taking in the Wales v Australia game, Quesada resident Wally was in dreamland.

What Wally didn’t know was that Nick, who lives near Bath in the West country, had booked a luxury afternoon in the Hospitality Suite for Wally, himself and his son Kristian.

And what NONE of them knew was that they would almost literally bump into one of the game’s biggest

By DONNA GEE names - Wales captain Sam Warburton – as they left the stadium after the game.

One family member laughingly greeted the photograph of Wally and Warburton taken on Nick’s mobile phone with the words: ‘’Who’s the midget with the Welsh captain? ‘’ But for Wally, a retired railwayman who moved to Spain with wife Stella 12 years ago, it was the ultimate day to remember.

These days Wally’s chief sporting activity is playing for the Peacocks Petanque team.

But this was an afternoon that was to leave him as proud as any Peacock – despite Wales suffering a narrow defeat.

“It was all a total surprise,’’ he recalled this week, “Nick had asked me if I wanted to see the game, He also sent me tickets for the flight. But I

PAM and Dave, owners of the Friendly Bar at the Citrus Centre in Playa Flamenca, held a charity quiz night on behalf of Maria and the Pink Ladies in aid of the AECC and its early screening programme. Dave, whose life has been touched by cancer more than once, said he intended to hold an event for AECC every month. A total of €150 was raised from the quiz night and Dave donated another 150 euros giving a grand total of €300 for AECC.

LITTLE AND LARGE: Wally with Wales rugby captain Sam Warburton

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had no idea we’d be getting aadrinks laid on in the Hospitality Suite. And to bump into Sam Warburton in the corridor after the game was the icing on the cake.’’

Not quite – because there was another surprise for

Wally when he, Nick and Kristian got back to Shaw.

Sons, grandchildren and great-grandchildren had flocked in from all over the country to celebrate his birthday with a special Sunday party.

HELP AT HOME CB IN FUNDRAISING PUSH

HELP at Home Costa Blanca, the local charity whose volunteers help people cope after leaving hospital or are struggling at home, needs money to operate.

Volunteers give their time free, but are helped to cover travelling expenses. Nursing equipment has to be bought and there's the expense of running charity shops and the office.

Legal expenses, accountancy fees and those of interpreters all have to be paid, to say nothing of the big insurance fees to cover activities of volunteers..

Here's the latest list of events open to the public: February 9: Restaurant FU, Torrevieja (formerly Los Arcos / Las Rustika) Chinese New Year celebrations to

raise funds for Caritas Torrevieja and Help At Home Costa Blanca. Special menu to include glass of cava and live entertainment. Tickets €25 from the restaurant.

February 14. Valentine's Day, Dinner Dance at the Emerald Isle La Florida. Tickets €17.50 from the bar or by calling 647 681 294 . With Nick Gold and Johnny Zeller.

February 14: Fu Restaurant, Torrevieja, (formerly Los Arcos / Las Rustika). Valentines Dinner Dance from 7.30pm. €38 per couple including glass of cava and live music to dance to.

March 3: Charity Challenge Lake Walk at Casa Pedrera Torremendo from 10.30am to 5pm. Live entertainment by Nick Gold and Dan Davy and other great performers.

Love, Rock, Culture boost Choc and Pop for Stagestruck CONTINUING on its mission to raise money for local charities, Restaurante Los Rosales have invited Elche Children’s Care Home to hold a raffle during their Valentine’s Rock and Pop Special on February 14.

Previous shows at the venue have helped the charity to raise over €1000 for Christmas presents for all the children, plus other essential items.

The show features

Fakers Quo and Abba Elite and will be hosted by the amazing Dee. And don’t miss the seven-tier chocolate fountain that was used

by The Beckhams during their time in Madrid. An all round win, win situation for lovers of music everywhere.

Cost is €15 for the show, meal and more chocolate than you can shake a marshmallow at!

Doors open at 7.30pm. Call 606192691/697501992

STAGESTRUCK! will be performing their 2013 shows at the brand new Casa De Cultura in Benijofar.

Their Spring production will be a new, original musical comedy for adults called ‘Bullocks’ which takes place at The Bullock’s Hotel and will be performed on May 23, 24 and 25 at 8pm. Tickets, at €6 including a pre-show glass of wine, are already available from Stella on 966786154 or Ellen on 627887010. Stagestruck’s Christmas offering this year will be a new take on Jack and The Beanstalk on November 28, 29 and 30.

All of the profits from these shows go to the group’s adopted charities, Altzheimers and EMAUS. If you can, act, sing or dance or just want to help backstage the group meet every Tuesday and Friday at Casa Ventura ,San Luis between 11.00am and 1.00 pm. Alternatively, either of the above numbers.

GEMS Social Group, the Friends of Help At Home Costa Blanca, meet at the Emerald Isle La Florida every other Wednesday from 2pm to 4pm from February 6. Fun and Friendship is the order of the day, starting with a floral demonstration, quiz and raffle on February 6. If you would like to join GEMS, make new friends and have fun, you will be made most welcome.

GEMS are organising more fun events, including a Fashion Show by Timeless Fashions, Spanish cookery lessons, live entertainment, plus Spanish lessons, a Diners Club and Spa sessions at a local Fitness Centre. Contact: helpathomecb@gmail.org or 691 585 167 from 10.30am to 2pm.

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TORREVIEJA Stroke Support registered charity firmly believes in Life After Stroke and as they continue to expand, more volunteers are needed.

Particularly wanted is someone (or two) with knowledge of or willingness to acquire knowledge of stroke, and preferably with some organising experience or committee skills. The group already have a good dedicated volunteer team, but would like to add extra capacity. Your help is needed to be a part of this interesting team. For more information please contact Louie on 96 671 8964 or Margaret on 96 507 7331.

Email: strokesupportgroup@hotmail.com Website: www.torreviejastrokesupport.com.

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CAMPOVERDE Theatre Group are proud to present their latest musical comedy, Di de Di, the Casa de Cultura, San Miguel on Friday 15th, Saturday 16th and Sunday 17th March. Tickets are 8€ and are available from Bargain Books, San Miguel, or phone Colin on 96 677 4127.

Burns burn-up is such a hoot TORREVIEJA Scottish Country Dance Group held their annual Burns Supper at the Los Rosales Restaurant.

Andy Ramage addressed the Haggis with real spirit (whisky), and entertained with song and poems while Gerry Shaw provided a large variety of Scottish Ceildh and dancing to popular tunes.

Founders Joseph and Louie Killeen were greeted on arrival with a standing ovation, and bagpipes played by Barrie Waddington, who also piped in the Haggis and entertained with popular tunes on the pipes.

All monies after expenses will be donated to the Torrevieja Stroke

Support Group.

If anyone would like to take up Scottish Country Dancing, the group meet every Thursday from 15.00 until 17.30 at the Los Rosales Restaurant, on the Lemon Tree Road in Guardamar.

Friday, February 8, 2013

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Hong Kong here I come!

Carnival time for Lauren

By HEIDI WARDMAN AFTER dancing her way across Europe, Carnival stunner Lauren Shakespeare is all set to strut her stuff in Hong Kong.

Since joining La Sal de Torrevieja Carnival Dance Troupe in September 2009, British Dancer Lauren has become a regular face in the colourful Carnival festivities in Torrevieja, as well as taking part in some of the most prestigious street parades in other major cities across Spain and Europe. Adorned with extravagant feathered costumes, the 28-year-old has shimmied through the

streets of Murcia; as well as the French cities of Montbrison, Menton, Limoges, Port Barcares and Nice; and San Remo in Italy.

She commented that “This is a completely different type of dancing job to anything that I´ve ever done before! In the theatre you can come off stage and fix your make up, hair etc, but in a four hour carnival you´re constantly performing and have no ´relax´ time".

Lauren’s dancing talents became apparent from the age of 3, when she had already begun to follow in the footsteps of her aunt, who is also a professional dancer. She

chased her dreams through the Merseyside Dance and Drama Centre in Liverpool, graduating with a Diploma in Musical Theatre specialising in Performance and Teaching in Dance, accredited by Trinity College London.

Her career blossomed after moving to Spain, and being introduced to Dance Captain of La Sal de Torrevieja, Cristina Romero Sandin.

Although she is the only British member of the group, she has always been well accepted and felt at home with her Spanish peers.

“It´s nice to feel part of a Spanish company, the girls are all lovely and help me a lot with the language- for which I am eternally grateful!" she said.

Lauren’s dancing career will reach its peak this weekend, when she has been elected to represent Spain in the esteemed Chinese New Year celebrations taking place in Hong Kong!

She is extremely excited about her forthcoming trip to Hong Kong, which will be a double celebration for her as it coincides with her birthday. She announced that “I enjoy meeting new people and experiencing

other cultures. Even just over the border in France things can be quite different to here in Spain, so a trip to Hong Kong is a dream come true!"

The Courier would like to wish Lauren and friends at La Sal de Torrevieja the best of luck during the Hong Kong festivities.

Charities score a double Whitt

THE Rosales Pantomime Group has handed over €790 to two charities after the successful January production of Dick Whittington at the Secular de Musica in Los Montesinos.

A cheque for €340 went to La Banda Infantil de Montesinos and one for €450 to Caritas Rojales.

Christine Smith, director of Dick , said: ‘‘We would like to thank the public for attending our pantomimes; we know how difficult it is in this time of crisis and are grateful for their support."

The group are seeking new members for their next production, Snow White, so if you fancy giving it a go please contact Barry at bazbov@yahoo.co.uk or Chris at shimserv@googlemail.com or call Chris on 965077090.

If you have an interest in acting, singing, dancing, scenery construction, scenery painting, backstage crew, etc. you can have some fun and raise money for worthy causes at the same time. Auditions for Snow White are likely to be in June, when scripts will be issued.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

UK HEADLINES

GIZZA HAND Ailing star Gazza back in rehab after celeb friends pay £30,000 treatment bill

The Sun ALCOHOLIC Paul Gascoigne headed back to rehab in the States – after celeb friends paid for the trip.

Counsellors met with Gazza, 45, at his home Monday and showbiz pals including DJ Chris Evans and Gary Lineker, clubbed together to foot the £30,000 treatment bill.

A source close to the exEngland star said: “His friends have been heartbroken watching Gazza over the last few days.

“Chris Evans got on the phone to Gazza’s friends including Gary Lineker, Ronnie Irani and Piers Morgan and asked if they would help as Gazza is struggling for money.”

Mr Evans said on Monday night: “A serious addict can only be helped if they really want to be.

“It is my understanding that at approximately 10 o’clock Monday morning,

Paul asked for that help.

“Only then could a select group of his friends begin to put into operation the latest phase in a long fight to rid him of his demons.

“It’s his only chance – but at least he’s going to get that chance.”

During his TalkSport radio show last night, Irani spoke of how his friend had failed to take advantage of help offered by the Professional Footballers' Association.

He said: "I had a chat with Chris Evans and he just asked how we could help him.

"We knew we just had to get him on this flight, out to

the priory in Phoenix, we just had to get him on the plane.

"I called British Airways and explained the situation, that we had to get him out to Phoenix to get him some help. He needs it, and if not, who knows what's going to happen?"

"With Paul Gascoigne, I'll be really honest with you, he's had all the help he could possibly have right in front of him from the PFA. "It's tough. Mental health issues are a serious, serious subject. But sadly he's not been able to help himself.

"So many people rang up yesterday to help Paul

Gascoigne, like you could never believe, but the truth is he hasn't been able to help himself."

Monday night Gazza headed to The Meadows, in Phoenix, Arizona, where he has been treated before.

His worried former Tottenham Hotspur teammate Gary Lineker wrote on Twitter: “I can only hope he finds peace somehow, but fear those hopes may be forlorn.”

New concerns for the footie legend’s health were raised at the weekend after he appeared at a charity event where he could barely hold the microphone and slurred his words.

Monday his management firm GamePlan Solutions said: “He has willingly been admitted to a treatment centre in America.

“Paul has been touched by the generous offers of help. He is motivated to control his addiction problem under guidance.”

Police 'used dead children's ID'

UNDERCOVER police officers working for Britain's largest force used the identities of dead children and issued fake passports in their names, it has been reported.

The Metropolitan Police authorised the practice for covert officers infiltrating protest groups without consulting or informing the children's parents, the Guardian reported.

Over three decades, generations of officers went through national birth and death records in search of suitable matches, the newspaper said.

The creation of aliases resulted in officers being issued with official documents such as driving licences and

national insurance numbers.

On Sunday night, Scotland Yard said the practice was not "currently" authorised. It also announced an investigation into "past arrangements for undercover identities used by SDS officers".

The practice was allegedly adopted to lend credibility to officers working undercover and provide them with a back story while spying.

One officer, who adopted the fake persona of Pete Black while undercover in anti-racist groups, told the Guardian he felt he was "stomping on the grave" of the four-year-old boy whose identity he used. "A part of me

was thinking about how I would feel if someone was taking the names and details of my dead son for something like this," he said.

Another officer, who used the identity of a child car crash victim, said he was conscious the parents would "still be grief-stricken" but argued his actions could be justified because they were for the "greater good". Both officers worked for the Special Demonstration Squad (SDS), which was apparently disbanded in 2008.

A document seen by the newspaper indicated around 80 officers used such identities between 1968 and 1994, it was reported.

You're taking the pilau!

Britain's curry lovers will be left screaming 'Oh my josh" after learning that the price of their rogan is set to soar.

A new report showed that the cost of basmati rice has rocketed in the wake of a drastic reduction in production and growing demand from other countries.

According to the Federation of European Rice Millers, the price of traditional basmati, typically used in branded lines, has soared over 80 per cent over the past year.

Pulsa basmati, a higher yielding variety mostly used in own-label products, has also shot up by around 65 per cent.

Trade magazine The Grocer said: "Curry lovers may soon be in for a nasty surprise at the checkout as basmati commodity prices have rocketed on the back of a fall in Indian production and growing demand from the Middle East. " Prices have risen largely because the 2012 Indian harvest was 25 per cent to 40 per cent smaller than in 2011 as a result of a big reduction in plantings, according to Rice Association director Alex Waugh.

He said that low prices

in previous years and an increase in the Indian government minimum support price for nonbasmati rice had encouraged farmers to switch away from basmati and farm other varieties.

The Grocer reported that suppliers to UK High Street supermarkets have started to feel the squeeze.

Jon Calland, head of external affairs at Tilda Basmati said: "The market is challenging - a decline in production in the producer countries has made basmati a much sought-after commodity."

"Strong demand from the Middle East, particularly Iran, has also pushed prices up."

The Middle East is the main export market for basmati with buyers willing to pay cash so that is a real price driver " said Mr Calland, who added that higher costs for energy, fertiliser and labour were also pushing up prices.

According to market a n a l y s t s BrandView.co.uk, Basmati accounts for around one third of the rice stocked in UK supermarkets but it accounts for less than one per cent of global rice production.

Friday, February 8, 2013

UK HEADLINES

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BRITAIN'S MOST WANTED FOREIGN FUGITIVES 'WILD THING' SINGER REG DIES AT 71

The Mirror A WANTED list of murderers, a rapist, robbers and pimps all thought to be hiding out in Britain were revealed on Monday.

Names of the high-risk foreign crooks – nine of whom are from Poland – were released by Crimestoppers and Scotland Yard.

They are the UK’s most “poszukiwany”, Polish for “wanted”.

Operation Sunfire’s hit-list of 17 foreign fugitives also contains people from Albania, Romania, Lithuania, Turkey, Hungry and Latvia.

Alleged Albanian gangster Dritan Rexhepi, 32, is wanted for shooting dead two police officers in his homeland in 1999.

He has links to London, Bedfordshire and Northamptonshire.

Lithuanian Edvinas Judinskas, 19, with links to London and Manchester, and Turk Serhat Aslan, 26, are both wanted for murder.

Constantin Niciu, 34, is said to have kidnapped two men in Romania, while Krzysztof, Pedzik, 25, of Poland, is wanted for a violent robbery in 2006.

Fellow countryman Pawel Jakub Chmielorz, 27, used to live in London and is linked to a series of violent attacks.

Albanian Hysni Sokolaj, 40, faces ques-

tioning over forcing a woman into prostitution and Lukasz Wyrzykiewicz, 30, of Poland, is wanted for stabbing two brothers.

Vasile Vladu, 30, of Romania – who also goes by the name of Marius Cionca – is accused of murder.

Others on the list include: Evaldas Rabikauskas, 29, of Poland, accused of rape; Anna Jankawska, 26, a Polish drug trafficking suspect; alleged robber Krzysztof Zakrzewski, 38, of Poland; Karol Koczmara, 24, of Poland, wanted for armed robbery;

Dariusz Farfus, 24, of Poland, accused of assault; Svetlana Mironenkova, 43, of Latvia, and Laszlo Nemes, 52, of Hungary are both accused of people trafficking; and Robert Grygoruk, 36, of Poland, is wanted for gun crimes.

When the authorities catch them, they will be extradited back home.

Roger Critchell, of Crimestoppers, said: “Non-national fugitives hiding here are a threat to local communities. We want these criminals off British soil.”

gentleman sausage on a storm drain', the Daily Star reported.

But, despite his delight at his handiwork, some members of the audience were not impressed.

Glenny Rodge wrote on Twitter: 'Sad documentary on BBC2 about three old men whose sexual inadequacies have developed into them having vehicle fetishes,' according

to the Daily Star.

Series 19 of the popular BBC2 car show will see the trio go on a road trip across the U.S., from the Nevada desert to the Mexican border in new cars.

The show was first aired in 1977 as a conventional motoring magazine show but since a major relaunch in 2002 it developed into the quirky and humorous show of today.

It has an enormous following worldwide with an estimated 350 million views per week in 170 different countries.

As well as receiving widespread acclaim for its presentation and variety of ideas, it has also received criticism for its sometimes controversial and politically incorrect commentary.

Jeremy Clarkson's 'sausage' stunt slammed He's known for shocking viewers with his controversial stunts - and his latest one has already prompted a wave of criticism.

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson managed to draw a large penis in the sand in the Nevada Desert by skidding around in his car.

And while the outspoken celebrity was clearly pleased with his effort - branding it a 'gentleman's sausage', viewers called him and fellow presenters Richard Hammond and James May a trio of 'sad old men'.

Clarkson, 52, raced his fellow presenters Hammond, 43, and May, 50, in Sunday night's show.

After the race the camera panned out to reveal he had drawn the private parts in the sand. He said: 'I've accidentally painted a

REG PRESLEY, former lead singer of The Troggs, has lost his battle with lung cancer.

The 71-year-old, best known for the hit Wild Thing, died at his home in the early hours of Monday surrounded by his family.

He retired from the band last January weeks after learning he had cancer while on tour in Germany.

Singer and songwriter Presley, born Reginald Maurice Ball in Andover, Hants, joined The Troggs in 1966. They became world-famous for hits such as With A Girl Like You and I Can't Control Myself. His career was boosted in 1994 after Wet Wet Wet's cover of Love Is All Around shot to the top of the charts where it stayed for 15 weeks.

The song, featured in the film Four Weddings And A Funeral, earned the star three prestigious Ivor Novello awards.

His daughter Karen said: "He passed away peacefully at home and myself, my brother and our mother were with him. We're absolutely heartbroken."

Jacqueline Ryan, who runs the group's website, said: "They are all absolutely devastated. He was a lovely kind, generous man. Reg will never be forgotten and we are proud to have known him."

Presley was an enthusiast of all things paranormal and wrote a book on the subject, Wild Things They Don't Tell Us. He leaves his wife Brenda, two children, Karen and Jay, and five grandchildren.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

CAN RAJOY DIG HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE? WHILE indignant Spaniards protested outside the government headquarters last weekend, the country’s opposition Socialist Party called for the resignation of Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy over the corruption scandal that has rocked the whole country.

Media reports over the past two weeks have alleged that at least a dozen senior PP officials, including Rajoy, received payments from a slush fund operated by its former treasurer.

Rajoy denies wrongdoing, but the scandal has provoked fury among Spaniards already disenchanted by deep recession and high unemployment, as support for the two biggest parties slumps.

"Rather than the solution for this country, Rajoy has become yet another problem," Socialist leader Alfredo

Perez Rubalcaba told a news conference.

An opinion poll published in newspaper El Pais on Sunday showed neither of the two big parties could win a clear majority in an election. Spain has suffered five years of recession or economic stagnation and unemployment - already the highest in the European Union at 26 percent - continues to grow.

The United Left Party, on 15.3 percent in the poll, dou-

ble its level of support at the last election in late 2011, has also urged Rajoy to resign. But the PP's parliamentary majority so far rules out any chance of a vote of no confidence.

The survey showed 77 percent disapproved of Rajoy as head of government, and 85 percent had little or no faith in him. Eighty percent said PP leaders named by the media as alleged recipients of kickbacks should resign.

Almost all respondents 96 percent - said corruption was widespread and not adequately punished, according to the survey of 1,000 people across Spain.

The former treasurer of the PP, Luis Bárcenas, who up until a couple of weeks ago still had an office at the party's headquarters and was backed up by the leaders, is now being investigated for having a Swiss account with 22 million euros and for paying bonus salaries under the table during long periods of time to important public offices.

It could turn out to be the most important corruption case in all Spanish history, and in spite of that, the implicated have denied all accusations, bragged about having transparent accounts, and are still asking the people to “adjust their budgets” due to the current crisis.

Riot police ‘did not go too far’ THE internal inquiry into alleged abuses by riot police inside Madrid's Atocha station in the aftermath of anti-austerity protests around Congress on September 25 has concluded that agents did not overstep the mark in their actions.

Images showing around 30 officers from the National Police's UIP riot squad firing blanks, running along the platforms and striking people in the station caused outrage in the media and on social networks. One young bystander was seen with a bleeding face, complaining he had been hit for no reason.

Now the internal police investigation opened into the incident says agents made use of "indispensable minimum force" to repel the attacks from protestors to which they had been subjected and no officer warranted punishment,

according to information uncovered by the SER radio network and confirmed by police. The inquiry was closed In December with the Interior Ministry finding no irregularities.

It’s Dizzee delight for Benicassim

DIZZEE RASCAL tops the latest acts announced for Vince Power's four day Spanish music festival I n t e r n a t i o n a l Benicàssim Festival this year.

Also confirmed are The Courteeners, Guadalupe Plata, and Spacin'.

The Killers, Arctic Monkeys, and Queens of the Stone Age are confirmed as headliners with Kaiser Chiefs, Hurts, Aluna George, China Rats, Deap Vally, Echo Lake, Rizzle Kicks, Temples, Azealia Banks, Jake Bugg, Palma Violets, Splashh, and Swim Deep, already confirmed.

As well as this diverse array of musical performers, the festival has an extensive bill of nonmusical entertainment, including dance, art,

theatre, fashion, silent disco and short films.

Established in 1994, next year will be its 19th year, the International Benicàssim Festival, FIB Heineken, near Valencia, Spain is back for 2013 from Thursday 18th until Sunday 21st July. With camping thrown in with the ticket price, all night music over 4 days, and sited just walking distance from the beach and a huge water park.

With 8 days free camping thrown in from 15th until 22nd July with the ticket price, all night music over 4 days, and sited just walking distance from the beach and a huge water park.

Early bird tickets have just sold out. Tickets will now be priced at £155 for a four day ticket, or £325 for VIP, and will be available shortly.

Friday, February 8, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

IBERIA IN NEW FLIGHT CHAOS IBERIA’S handling, maintenance and cabin-crew unions are considering “no fewer than five days of strikes” during the second half of February after talks with management over restructuring plans for the airline broke down, union sources said last Friday.

On the day of the deadline set by IAG, the holding that resulted from the merger of Iberia and British Airways, the six labor unions walked away from the negotiating table, calling IAG’s proposal “blackmail.”

In a joint release, the unions said that “confrontation is the only way out.”

For its part, IAG said that a deal had not been reached and that “Iberia will go ahead with the previously announced 15-percent reduction in capacity for 2013.”

This means that initial plans to reduce staff by

4,500 individuals, or 23 percent of the workforce, also remain in place.

Willie Walsh, the CEO of IAG, expressed “disappointment” over the lack of agreement but added that “Iberia remains ready to negotiate with the unions” while stressing his determination to implement the “necessary changes to ensure the survival and future viability of Iberia.”

Management made a last-minute offer to the unions last Thursday that improved conditions over the initial plans, including a 16-percent staff reduction and a route cut of 10 percent rather than 15 percent.

But the unions felt that the numbers did not add up as long as profitability targets are maintained.

Iberia’s goal is to improve its operating results by 600 million euros between now and 2015.

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The wind of change

By SALLY BENGTSSON

LAST weekend may have been annoyingly windy, but there is one positive effect of the blustery weather.

Over the last three months, wind farms in Spain have for the first time produced more electricity than any other power source in the country.

Spanish wind farms delivered over six terawatt hours of electricity during January, according to data from grid operator Red Electrica de Espana, the Spanish Wind Energy Association.

"Since November 1, wind has been the top technology in the electrical system," the group said in a blog posting.

"The last time any technology exceeded six terawatt-hours of monthly generation was in 2010, when it was combined-cycle gas turbines."

The performance means wind energy exceeded output from both nuclear and coal-fired power stations and represents more than a quarter of Spain's total power generation.

Spain has been looking to boost its wind power capacity as part of the government's efforts to cut carbon emissions.

The news came in the same week as German wind energy industry association BWE said it expects developers to add

FARMS BLOWING OTHER POWER SOURCES AWAY

between 3GW and 3.5GW of capacity this year, far outstripping the 2.4GW installed in 2012.

The surge in new capacity will be largely driven by new offshore wind

farms coming online and will mean the country remains on track to meet its goal of generating around 40% of its electricity from renewables by 2020, up from about 25% currently.

SPAIN’S YOUNG BRAINS CHASE THE MEXICAN DREAM

SPANISH youngsters, fed up with years of unemployment and zero prospects on the horizon, are escaping the crisis in growing numbers and trying their luck overseas.

The exodus of young, educated Spaniards is creating a massive brain drain, the likes of which have not been seen since the end of the Spanish Civil War in 1939.

Mexico, with its historic, cultural and linguistic ties to Spain, has become a leading destination. Its immigration office reports that 7,630 Spaniards were granted work permits in the last quarter of 2012 alone -- which does not include the unknown number of Spanish "tourists" who arrived during the same period, and are granted 90 days to apply for work permits.

In upscale neighbourhoods in Mexico the familiar lisp of Iberian Spanish is heard with greater frequency in the cafes, bistros and trendy bars.

The departure of young, educated Spaniards reflects the deepening economic crisis in Europe, where many expect to see a "lost decade," which presents few

career opportunities for those in their 20’s and 30’s.

A recent report by Spain’s Department of Labour estimated that last year, 166,000 youngsters between the ages of 16 to 24 left the country looking for work abroad.

Rodrigo Gil, a Spanish sound engineer, says: "There are few people who have studied sound engineering in Mexico, and there are many in Spain."

Gil researched opportunities in Mexico, and within a few weeks of arriving in the Mexican capital, he found employment. "I have friends who stayed in Europe and went to London, but they're working as waiters."

Although many Spaniards would prefer to remain in Europe, where they would be close to family and friends, language is proving an obstacle. Maria Bahamonde, an architect from Galicia, arrived in Mexico City as a tourist,

but is now looking for work there.

"My parents were afraid that there was violence because of the drug war, but that's not the case,” she said. "They would have preferred that I go to Germany or Switzerland, but unless you are fluent in German or English it's impossible to find comparable employment in those countries. After two months, I feel confident enough that I can pursue my career professionally here."

Mexico is a land of opportunities for young, qualified Spaniards. The job sectors with the greatest opportunities include advertising, communications, engineering, and business administration.

While the unemployment rate for young professionals in Spain reaches 25 percent, in Mexico it is 4.8 percent.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

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Friday, February 8, 2013

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 Someone called Dave will contact you in the next couple of days. The rate of absorption into your skin will increase three fold today as Mars combined with Jupiter to create... well, whatever is created to allow for that. I suppose. Always think "Take the easy way out". You won't go wrong. Overspending will find you slightly less well off this week

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Most of the things you're doing are going well, so there's no need to give up now.

Changing your lifestyle and underwear are always a good start. The stars indicate that walking under ladders is a bad idea for you this week. Be playful at heart and you'll reap the reward of having more friends under the age of 10.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Knowing your hand span may become useful over the coming days, although the mystics will not give me any information as to how or why. Opening up to a close friend will probably be the worst thing you could do, in your situation. The gift you have that allows you to speak to the animals will today be unveiled as a fraud.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Do you have any idea what you're letting yourself in for? Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not you. The latin phrase for what you're feeling right now is: "Non semper inquisit damascus aroooooo!". There's a little bit of dog language mixed in there too. You have achieved what most of us only dream about - you are a star.

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 Nutrition will play a major part of your life for the next week. Take everything you've got and run like the wind. Bad things are afoot. I mean, can't you smell it? Cats can eat mice but can't dogs also? This kind of nonsense querying that comes from an older person than you, will start to grate today.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 You will feel an overwhelming desire to kiss everyone in sight today. You must decide how to continue. Everything you have to fear comes from within. You should have chosen the korma instead of the vindaloo. Test yourself, know your limits! Avoid serious questions wherever possible today and TIE YOUR SHOES DAMMIT!

Libra September 23 - October 22 Geeks and nerds - one big smelly bunch of cyber-crimes waiting to happen. And you're next on their list. A bottle of red, a bottle of white. Wine! The only drink for those who are addicted to beer but worried about the size of their gut. The likelihood is that you're going to feel very miserable about it and for a few days you might sport a "pout" that could actually win awards.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Most of your dreams will come true over the coming fortnight, so prepare for wealth, health and happiness, you lucky dog. The good and the great come together today and miss you entirely during all their endeavours. Which is a bit sad, really.

Cysts are a sign of overworking as much as anything else. Relax today whilst a loved one lances your soppiest boils.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Don't believe anything you read today. Your aim to drink 10-15 litres of water today may come crashing down on you when you're stuck in traffic later this week. Hearing clicking noises in your head is not a good sign for you today. Places like Megacity and Coolopolis don't exist... but they do, inside the head of the person who's stood nearest to you right this second

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 People will today begin to question your penchant for lime-green clothing.

Especially hats. Everything you've ever felt about anything will be tested today during some troubling moment in which you'll learn something about anything or everything. If you want to ride your bicycle, then by all means do it. But I refuse to be held responsible for any consequences.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Walking down the street with a spring in your step is a great way to let the world know how insufferable you really are.

Having a box of tissues close to hand might become important over the coming minutes. Hell has a new master and he's coming for you! Wednesday may be sunny.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 If you're terrified by the thought of someone being able to look into your mind...are you sure you should be here, because that's what I'm doing right now. The perceived wisdom of freaks will today begin to all-of-a-sudden make a great deal of sense. Your package will arrive today, delivered by an expected person.

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Friday, February 8, 2013

INFINITI RED BULL RACING REVEALS 2013 RACER Red Bull Racing has pulled the covers off the 2013 F1 car it hopes will help it retain both the drivers’ championship and the constructors’ championship titles.

The launch event also saw a further strengthening of the partnership with premium Japanese car brand Infiniti announced: the team, now officially called Infiniti Red Bull Racing, is to work even more closely with Infiniti road cars.

F1 champion Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber were on hand to help launch the RB9 racer at an event in Milton Keynes.

Team designer Adrian Newey was also there, and told the crowds designing the new car hadn’t been the easiest of tasks.

“We had a very tight championship battle last year,” he said. “It was difficult trying to continue development of last year’s car while also doing research into the RB9… it gave us a very tight timeframe to design and manufacture this car.”

It’s a car that’s doesn’t radically differ from its predecessor, thanks to stable F1 regulations. The biggest change, admitted Newey, is probably the Pirelli tyres. “Pirelli have supplied us data about how the new tyres behave,” said

Newey, “but past experience tells us that it’s only when we go testing that we really find out.”

The car will roll quickly into action – it was loaded into the team transporters straight after the launch event, headed for southern Spain: the first test of the car commenced at the Jerez circuit on the 5th of February. Webber, in his seventh season with the team, drove the car first, with triple world

champion Vettel taking over later.

The 2013 Red Bull car is much more purple than it was last year, too. That’s part of the further-strengthened relationship with Infiniti, which has seen the brand taken on title sponsorship of the Renault-engined F1 team.

It’s a four-year deal that means Red Bull has become Infiniti Red Bull – and the launch event saw a further deal announced, with Infiniti becoming official Vehicle Performance Partner of the team.

“Our deeper involvement, which now sees us truly integrated as one team, will bring significant benefits to our people, processes and technology,” said Infiniti president Johan de Nysschen.

There are already Infiniti engineers working at the Red Bull HQ in Milton Keynes, he revealed. More personnel will now join the Vehicle Performance department in the future.

The Infiniti FX Vettel Edition, was an early example of this partnership: it was also revealed at the F1 launch that both Vettel and test driver Sebastien Buemi have worked on driving and development for the new Infiniti Q50.

If this means Infiniti road cars can become more appealing to driving enthusiasts, it can only be a good thing…

Friday, February 8, 2013

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Friday, February 8, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 5 represents L and 26 represents N, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Wholly occupy a space 12 square (7) 5 You’re licensed to house something old and valuable (5) 8 Too thin, the result of a grand aunt (5) 9 Suggest a new opposer (7) 10 Democrat is Channel Islands’ party leader and the French followers (9) 12 Public hanging? (3) 13 Matriarchal etchings contain holiday home (6) 14 A great number ruined my raid (6) 17 One politician’s a rascal (3) 18 The faithful get the buzz about the departing students, we hear (9) 20 Jerome’s about the Spanish nuts (7) 21 Number on watch? (5) 23 Person without clothes should receive good poke (5) 24 News of movements at sea? (7) STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Engaged without an explanation of what the instigator did (5) 2 Visiting nurse’s secret animal (3) 3 Not in league in Spain chart (7) 4 Flexible pups, to the French! (6) 5 Castles in the air? (5) 6 Double messy oil leak OK (4-5) 7 Many very angry at being duped (7) 11 Rushed about me Red Caps (9) 13 Yellow bellied bird (7) 15 Gave up and produced (7) 16 Cabinet has to finish on time (6) 18 A long note from the little brother and the First Lady (5) 19 Point ties out on locations (5) 22 Information given to an officer in concise form (3) Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Aft Ash Ass Cos Imp Irk Lee Par Rev Rye Sat Tad 4 letter words Able Aeon Afar

Alas Ales Alga Aloe Also Arms Avid Barn Chap Cola Ease Etna Fare Faun Gear Hobo Hods Husk Idle

Ilia Lake Lira Loop Moas Once Poet Roes Silt Soul Stet Taco Tree Trod 5 letter words Ahead Alibi Asset

Aster Await Beast China Civil Dacha Hoick Infer Mealy Nasal Onset Opine Puree Sauna Sedge Solar Spree Synod There

6 letter words Latino Loosen Neuron String 7 letter words Centric Foresee Senator Tiddler 8 letter words Bacteria Elevator Hideaway Hornpipe

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

Across

Down

1 Haze (4) 3 Censure severely (8) 9 Genuine (7) 10 Dish up (5) 11 Subject (5) 12 Agree with (6) 14 Take for granted (6) 16 Skin problem (6) 19 Farm animals (6) 21 Recommends (5) 24 Frequently (5) 25 Restriction (7) 26 Predict (8) 27 Get rid of (4)

1 Supernatural (8) 2 Dispatches (5) 4 Unwilling (6) 5 Fundamental (5) 6 Odd (7) 7 Smooth (4) 8 Cash in (6) 13 Secret code (8) 15 Blow apart (7) 17 Plump (6) 18 Alcove (6) 20 Cloak (5) 22 Distance across (5) 23 Hang about (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Mast, 3 Fallible, 9 Salvage, 10 Merge, 11 Loose, 12 Gateau, 14 Casual, 16 Camera, 19 Barrel, 21 Tibia, 24 Until, 25 Average, 26 Fortress, 27 Beat.

Down: 1 Misplace, 2 Salvo, 4 Avenge, 5 Limit, 6 Barrage, 7 Even, 8 Galena, 13 Parakeet, 15 Shatter, 17 Anthem, 18 Always, 20 Ruler, 22 Blade, 23 Buff.

Scribble Pad

1 Incited (5) 1 Absorb (7) 2 Wildebeest (3) 5 Ancient artefact (5) 3 Sketch (7) 8 Haggard (5) 4 Lithe (6) 9 Pop the question (7) 5 Types of crow (5) 10 Adherents (9) 6 Double (4-5) 12 Skill (3) 7 Swindled (7) 13 Alpine cottage (6) 11 Scuttled (9) 14 Countless (6) 13 Domestic fowl (7) 17 Sprite (3) 15 Gave way (7) 18 Faithful followers (9) 16 Small room (6) 20 Cores (7) 18 Diacritical mark (5) 21 Finger or toe (5) 19 Building locations (5) 23 Playful poke (5) 22 Information (3) 24 News (7) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Test case, 7 Drain, 8 Inebriate, 9/20 Sea dog, 10 Earp, 11 Scribe, 13 Bedlam, 14 Malady, 17 Arable, 18 Game, 22 Emaciated, 23 Bonus, 24 Regarded.

Down: 1 Trice, 2 Sheared, 3 Curl, 4 Search, 5 Masse, 6 Infancy, 7 Decimal, 12 Parades, 13 Bad debt, 15 Adapted, 16 Cleave, 17 Agony, 19 Ended, 21 Lira.

Across

Down

1 Alfombra (grande) (6) 4 Chewing gum (6) 7 Crocodile (9) 9 Bramido (de león) (4) 10 Weapon (4) 11 Tallas (de ropa) (5) 13 Trap (snare) (6) 14 Light (weight) (6) 15 Cocinas (aparatos) (6) 17 Pétalos (6) 19 Puertas (5) 20 Birds (4) 22 Clothes (4) 23 Septiembre (9) 24 Saturday (6) 25 Escalera (de edificio) (6)

1 Zanahoria (6) 2 Worse (4) 3 Theory (6) 4 Prison (6) 5 Island (4) 6 Deceit (misleading) (6) 7 Snails (9) 8 Computer (9) 11 Velocidad (5) 12 Lados (5) 15 Tiburones (6) 16 Raffle (6) 17 Cousins (6) 18 Escamas (6) 21 Silk (4) 22 Grille (window) (4)

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Friday, February 8, 2013 Across 1 What first name is shared by the lead singer and songwriter for the Rolling Stones and the drummer and founding member of Fleetwood Mac? (4) 3 What name is given to a light canvas shoe with a plaited fibre sole? (10) 10 Which phrase that means ‘excessive bureaucracy or adherence to official rules and formalities’ is so named because of the colour of the ribbon used to bind official documents? (3,4) 11 Which close-fitting one-piece garment worn by dancers or people exercising indoors is named after a 19th century French trapeze artist? (7) 12 Which is the smallest sovereign state in the world, the home of the Pope and the central administration of the Roman Catholic Church? (4,3) 13 Which small market town and civil parish within the Craven district of North Yorkshire, has a name that means ‘take up residence and become established’? (6) 15 Which large edible ray with a long snout and thick tail with pectoral fins continuous with the head, swims by undulating the edges of the pectoral fins? (5)

16 Originally a member of a people inhabiting Samaria in biblical times, what name is now often applied to a charitable or helpful person? (9) 18 According to mythology, what was the name of the king of Mycenae and brother of Menelaus who lead the Greeks against Troy in the Trojan War? (9) 21 Part of his Raj Quartet, which word completes the title of a 1966 novel by Paul Scott: The [What] in the Crown? (5) 23 What is the American name for the thick spicy sauce made from tomatoes, which is known in the UK as 'ketchup'? (6) 25 Which adjective means 'of or relating to the doctrine that rejects religion and religious considerations'? (7) 27 Which town is the capital of the Isle of Man? (7) 28 Which heavy toxic silverywhite radioactive metallic element, atomic number 92, is used for nuclear fuels and nuclear weapons? (7) 29 Which high-protein, high-fat ‘nutritional approach’, in which carbohydrates are severely restricted, is named after an American cardiologist? (6,4) 30 Which Egyptian goddess of fertility shares her name with

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

the part of the River Thames above Iffley Lock that flows through the city of Oxford? (4) Down 1 What name is often applied to

the (humorous) axiom stating that anything that can go wrong will go wrong? (7,3) 2 What is the name of the diacritical mark written under the

letter c, especially in French, to show that it is pronounced like an s rather than a k? (7) 4 What was the surname of the Scottish novelist, poet and travel writer who made his name with the adventure story Treasure Island (1883)? (9) 5 According to Greek legend, which one of the Titans was punished for his part in their revolt against Zeus by being made to support the heavens?

(5) 6 In the 1969 American Western film True Grit, what was the nickname of the US marshal character Reuben J Cogburn, played by actor John Wayne? (7) 7 What name is generally given to a printed sheet of paper containing information or advertising and usually distributed free? (7) 8 What surname was shared by guitarist Duane, singer Nelson and Mary Baker, the founder of Christian Science?

(4) 9 What was the name of the fictional collie dog character created by Eric Knight in a short story expanded to novel length and published in 1940?

(6)

14 What is the name of the title character and fictional narrator of a collection of AfricanAmerican folk-tales adapted and compiled by Joel Chandler Harris, published in book form in 1881? (5,5) 17 Which ‘condiment’ consisting of chopped spearmint in vinegar and sugar, is traditionally eaten with lamb? (4,5) 19 What was the surname of the Turkish statesman who abolished the caliphate and founded Turkey as a modern secular state? (7) 20 What is the fifth letter of the Greek alphabet? (7) 21 The infamous Venezuelanborn political terrorist Ilich Ramírez Sánchez was also known by the nickname Carlos the [What]? (6) 22 What was the surname of Heather, Margaret, Marian and Terry, who starred in the 1974 fly-on-the-wall BBC television documentary series The Family? (7) 24 Which adjective mean ‘arranged for pictorial purposes’? (5) 26 Which noun means ‘the content of cognition’ or ‘the main thing you are thinking about’? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LA BARBACOA -THE BARBECUE Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

literature QUIZ

ANSWERS: 1. Crocodile 2. Parker 3. Forehead 4. Ebony Eyes 5. Neil Tennant, Chris Lowe, Dusty Springfield 6.

International Air Transport Association 7. The Rubik's Cube 8. Gwen Stafani 9. Trina Gulliver 10. July (15th) 11.

Arthur Ransom 12. 1995 13. The Statue Of Liberty

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Trousseau, 6 Mafia, 9 Ukulele, 10 Pergola, 11 Kneads, 12 Arkansas, 14 Tito, 15 Hypodermic, 18 Plebiscite, 20 Dawn, 23 Cold sore, 24 Cantor, 26 Basmati, 27 Sitwell, 28 Apnea, 29 Marco Polo.

Down: 1 Truck stop, 2 Opulent, 3 Speedo, 4 Eden, 5 Upper Volta, 6 Margaret, 7 Flotsam, 8 Adams, 13 Myocardium, 16 Contralto, 17 Kinshasa, 19 Ellison, 21 Art deco, 22 Castro, 23 Cobra, 25 USSR.

la parrilla

el carbón

la salchicha

el mechero

las brasas

la carne

las pastillas

la chuleta

las sillas

la ensalada

las tenazas

la espátula

los platos

la leña

unas pinzas

la mesa

un delantal

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1. el asador, 2.el carbón,

15.las tenazas, 16.los platos,

k.the plates, l.the meat,

3.el mechero, 4.la carne,

17.unas pinzas, 18.un delantal.

m.the wood, n.the sausage,

5.la chuleta, 6.la ensalada,

a.an apron, b.the fire-lighters,

o.the lighter, p.small tongs,

7.la espátula, 8.la leña,

c.the spatula, d.the chairs,

q.the roaster, r.the hot coals.

9.la mesa, 10.la parrilla,

e.the chop, f.the grill,

11.la salchicha, 12.las brasas,

g.the table, h.the tongs,

13.las pastillas, 14.las sillas,

i.the coal, j.the salad,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Answers: 1q, 2i, 3o, 4l, 5e, 6j, 7c, 8m, 9g, 10f, 11n, 12r, 13b, 14d, 15p, 16k, 17p, 18a.

1. What Is The Worlds Largest Known Reptile?

2. What was the name of the ex con chauffer in thunderbirds who drove a pink Rolls Royce?

3. Where on a woman's body would you see a bindi?

4. What Equally Successful Track Was On The Flip side Of 'Walk Right Back' In 1961?

5. Which 3 Artists Performed On The 1987 Hit 'What Have I Done To Deserve This'?

6. What Do The Initials IATA Stand For? 7. What won the toy of the year award in both 1980 and 1981?

8. Who won best international female artist at this years Brit awards?

9. Who's the current womens world darts champion?

10. In which month is St Swithin's Day? 11. Who wrote the children's novel 'Swallows and Amazons'?

12. What Year Saw The Collapse Of Baring's Bank?

13. Which famous monument was packed in 214 crates before being shipped from France to the United States?

el asador

Quizword

Fill It In

38

Friday, February 8, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY

with ALEX TRELINSKI RICKY GERVAIS is one of those comedy performers and writers who has no middle ground. You either like him or hate him. It’s as simple as that. He’s currently working Stateside as the human star of the forthcoming Muppet movie, whilst back in the UK, Channel Four is screening his latest project, Derek.

I like Gervais a lot, but I honestly just didn’t get The Office (I must have been the only person not to), but I loved his second show, Extras, whilst there were some good moments in the uneven Warwick Davis-starring comedy, Life’s Too Short. Derek is branded as “controversial” because the title character (played by Gervais) is autistic. There’s also the setting of an old folk’s home which is miles away from the homely

RICKY’S NO-SO-BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE

atmosphere of the old BBC comedy, Waiting for God. Derek works as a volunteer there, and other characters include a jack-of-alltrades janitor played by Karl Pilkington, and another volunteer called Kev who seems to be purely interested in booze and sex!

Derek is a likeable sympathetic character and I have absolutely no problem with the subject matter,

which isn’t offensive or demeaning in the slightest.

It largely follows the format of The Office and I have to say that the first two episodes have been pleasant enough without the word ‘groundbreaking’ being muttered under my breath.

It’s not brilliant but it’s not a dud either. But please, Ricky, if the show returns for another series, can you dump the sickly

piano music that is a most unwelcome and condescending soundtrack?

One of Channel Four’s spin-off channels, More Four, really has locked up Thursday nights with some great American drama. The Good Wife is one of my very favourite transatlantic imports, and now straight after it we have Nashville.

You get very worried about the bull that the UK channels use in their promos for American series when they say that every new drama is the biggest hit of the season and the hottest new show.

That’s a barefaced lie, and would also mean that no programme would have been cancelled by the American networks in the last decade!

More Four have used the “hottest new” tag for Nashville, and they are not telling porkies on this occasion. As the title Nashville suggests, we are in the

q

with some of the rounds verged on tedium. It also suffered the ultimate humiliation of being beaten in the ratings by the dreadful Splash on ITV, which has mercifully finished.

On a sadder note, I should say farewell to Michael world of country music, but French, who over a decade don’t be put off by that, if it’s has seen his Nick Jordan not your bag. It’s a straight- character in Holby City move forward tale of rivalry from a baddie to a goodie on between a young singer on Casualty. Secondly, it's goodthe rise, and an old star bye for a year to the fantastic who’s facing pressure to BBC4 political drama, keep her career at the very Borgen, as we wait for the top. result of the Danish General Connie Britton (one of my Election. Who would have favourite US TV actresses thought that such a drama from Friday Night Lights and would end up one of the best American Horror Story) and things on the box?

Hayden Panettiere (little Roll on next Claire from the sci-fi Heroes) Christmas! After the are the two who want to final episode of Mrs. Brown’s knock the nine bells of Boys last Monday, we have proverbial out of each other, two new festive specials at and they really do deliver. the end of the year. That’s a Both were nominated for big bonus for BBC1 and the Golden Globe awards and viewers, as Brendan this will become an instant O’Carroll’s schedule is tighter Thursday night fixture for me. than Buster’s one brain cell, In case you care, the and nobody was expecting Grand Final of anything new from the team Britain’s Brightest is on BBC1 until the end of next year. tomorrow night. What a The talk is that they may waste of Clare Balding as a have to record the shows presenter! I stopped watch- sometime this July, as that’s ing three weeks ago – to me the only spare time they it was a ragbag format that have!

q

q

Friday TV

February 8

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:30 HARDtalk 05:50 BBC News 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 12:45 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Brain Doctors 01:20 The Culture Show 01:50 Panorama

02:20 Wonderland 03:20 Close 04:55 Schools - Gang Life: Segun's Story 05:20 Schools - In My Shoes: Rotterdam 05:30 Schools - Children at Work: Circus 06:00 Schools - Same but Different 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 08:45 Cowboy Trap 09:15 Show Me the Monet 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Question Time 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Mastermind 15:45 Reel History of Britain 16:15 Rick Stein's Far Eastern Odyssey 17:15 Life on Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Railway Walks 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Monty Don's French Gardens 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 The Last Word 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Great Night Out 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 The Birds

BAD BOYS II Action comedy thriller starring Martin Lawrence and Will Smith as motormouth Miami cops Burnett and Lowrey, who are assigned to bring down a drugs lord and stop the flow of ecstasy into the city. But the operation and the officers' friendship are compromised by Lowrey's relationship with a female agent - who also happens to be Burnett's sister.

00:50 Random Acts 00:55 The Undateables 01:55 Too Poor for Posh School?

02:55 Dispatches 03:25 Tony Robinson's Gods and Monsters 04:20 Time Team 05:15 Deal or No Deal 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 13:35 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 13:55 The Desperadoes 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Face the Clock 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 First Time Farmers 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:30 The Last Leg 23:00 Paddy's TV Guide 23:50 Rude Tube

01:40 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Croc Man 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Person of Interest 16:15 Deadliest Sea 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Rory & Will - Champions of the World 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 Bad Boys II

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Saturday TV February 9

00:25 Reign of Fire 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 02:30 Click 03:00 BBC News 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Five Minutes With 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 The Good Cook 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 17:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 20:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:20 Britain's Brightest 21:20 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 22:10 Casualty 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 National Lottery Update

02:45 Question Time 03:45 Close 07:00 Close 08:10 Great British Menu 08:40 Great British Menu 09:10 Great British Menu 09:40 Great British Menu 10:10 Great British Menu 10:40 The Sky at Night 11:00 A History of Britain by Simon Schama 12:00 Meet the Ancestors 12:30 Map Man 13:00 Indian Food Made Easy 13:30 Mastermind 14:00 University Challenge 14:30 The Taming of the Shrew 16:30 The Mary Berry Story 17:30 Final Score 18:30 The Culture Show 19:30 Dad's Army 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Natural World 22:00 Howard Goodall's Story of Music 23:00 Dancing on the Edge

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 Psycho 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Handy Manny 07:10 Handy Manny 07:25 The Hive 07:40 Dino Dan 08:05 Almost Naked Animals 08:15 Almost Naked Animals 08:30 Almost Naked Animals 08:40 Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:05 Ultimate Spider-Man 09:30 Victorious 10:00 Jessie 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 Saturday Cookbook 13:15 ITV News and Weather 13:19 ITV Meridian Weather 13:20 Murder, She Wrote 14:20 My Tasty Travels with Lynda Bellingham 15:25 Dinner Date 16:25 The Secret of My Success 18:30 ITV Meridian Weather 18:40 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Nanny McPhee & the Big Bang 21:05 Take Me Out 22:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:34 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Knocked Up

00:50 The New Normal 01:15 Random Acts 01:20 2 Broke Girls 01:45 Happy Endings 02:10 Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 02:35 Bob's Burgers 02:55 Glory Daze 03:40 Smallville 04:20 St Elsewhere 05:10 Deal or No Deal 06:05 Countdown 06:50 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 UCI Cyclo-Cross World Championships 09:00 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:55 Frasier 11:55 The Big Bang Theory 12:25 The Big Bang Theory 12:55 The Simpsons 13:25 The Secret Millionaire 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:50 4thought.tv 19:55 Crocodile Dundee II 22:00 World Without End 23:05 Kiss the Girls

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:05 SuperCasino 05:00 Motorsport Mundial 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:15 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Mio Mao 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:40 Olive the Ostrich 07:45 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:15 Animal Antics 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:05 How Do They Do It? 12:40 Police Interceptors 13:40 Dangerous Drivers' School 14:40 Stranger with My Face 16:25 My Neighbor's Secret 18:10 Two Mules for Sister Sara 20:20 5 News Weekend 20:25 NCIS 21:10 NCIS 22:00 Law & Order 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

01:20 03:05 03:10 05:15 05:55 06:40 07:10 07:35 08:05 08:30 08:55 09:25 09:55 10:30 13:00 13:30 13:55 14:25 14:55 15:25 Spock 17:25 18:25 19:25 19:55 20:00 20:05 21:00 22:00

00:50 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 HouseBusters 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 County Secrets 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Olive the Ostrich 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Animal Antics 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 Milkshake! Monkey 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Mio Mao 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:10 Inside Hollywood 12:20 Once Upon a Time 13:10 Winter Road Rescue 14:15 The Witches 16:05 While You Were Sleeping 18:05 The Water Horse 20:15 Inside the Titanic 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Person of Interest 23:00 Piranha

KISS THE GIRLS Detective thriller starring Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd. When the niece of police psychologist Dr Alex Cross disappears in North Carolina, he discovers she has been snatched by a serial kidnapper known as "Casanova". The doctor's best hope to save her is Kate McTiernan, the only woman to have escaped the abductor's clutches.

00:00 The Review Show 00:45 Weather 00:50 The Painted Veil

Sunday TV

February 10

00:40 The Football League Show 01:55 Weatherview 02:00 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Bottom Line 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:25 Countryfile 14:25 Call the Midwife 15:25 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 18:00 Africa 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:30 Blandings 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Call the Midwife 22:00 The British Academy Film Awards

00:35 Milk 02:35 Close 07:00 Close 08:15 Rachel and the Stranger 09:45 Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein 10:15 A to Z of TV Gardening 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 13:00 EastEnders 14:55 Flog It! 15:40 Natural World 16:40 The Mary Berry Story 17:40 Songs of Praise 18:15 In Orbit: How Satellites Rule Our World 19:15 Ski Sunday 20:00 Food & Drink 20:30 Open All Hours 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Wonders of Life 23:00 Match of the Day 2

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Handy Manny 07:25 The Hive 07:40 Dino Dan 08:05 Almost Naked Animals 08:15 Almost Naked Animals 08:30 Almost Naked Animals 08:40 Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:05 Rated A for Awesome 09:15 Rated A for Awesome 09:30 Big Time Rush 10:00 The Aquabats Super Show 10:25 House Guest in the Sun 11:20 60 Minute Makeover 12:20 May the Best House Win 13:20 ITV News and Weather 13:24 ITV Meridian Weather 13:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 14:25 Rosemary & Thyme 16:00 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 18:50 ITV Meridian Weather 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Dancing on Ice 20:45 All Star Family Fortunes 21:30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off 22:00 Mr Selfridge 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Duplicity

THE BRITISH ACADEMT FILM AWARDS Stephen Fry hosts the annual celebration of cinema, live from the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden, London. This has been a year that has seen moviegoers weep buckets to Les Miserables, go wandering Middle-earth again in The Hobbit and enjoy the spectacular 50th anniversary return of James Bond in Skyfall - among many other big-screen treats of the past 12 months.

Porky's The Confession Hollyoaks Smallville Countdown Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard The Hoobs The Hoobs Will & Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Star Trek III: the Search for Time Team Deal or No Deal Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Political Slot Come Dine with Me The Hotel Die Hard 4.0

40

Monday TV

February 11

00:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 00:25 Room 101 - Extra Storage 01:05 The Celebrity Apprentice USA 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Penguins - Spy in the Huddle 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Being Eileen

00:00 01:05 01:50 02:40 03:10 04:10 07:00 07:10 08:10 08:55 09:25 10:10 11:05 11:35 12:00 12:30 13:00 14:00 14:30 15:15 15:45 16:15 17:15 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30

Dancing on the Edge Six Nations Rugby Union Parking Mad Being Eileen Holby City Close Close Homes Under the Hammer The Sheriffs Are Coming Cowboy Trap Show Me the Monet Countryfile Robbed, Raided, Reunited Click BBC News BBC World News Daily Politics The One Show Six Nations Rugby Union Mastermind Reel History of Britain Two Greedy Italians Life on Earth Antiques Roadshow Eggheads Flog It! Great British Menu University Challenge Food & Drink Dancing on the Edge Mock the Week - Again Weather

01:30 Premiership Rugby Union 02:25 The Store 03:55 Monk 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Agenda

00:35 02:15 04:15 04:45 05:30 06:25 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:25 08:55 09:25 09:55 10:30 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 13:35 15:40 16:30 17:00 18:00 18:30 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:55 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00

Changing Lanes The Last Mitterrand Coming Up St Elsewhere Deal or No Deal Countdown The Hoobs The Hoobs According to Jim Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Frasier Undercover Boss USA Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Midday River Cottage Rio Grande Countdown Face the Clock Deal or No Deal Four in a Bed Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv Dispatches Wild Things Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Black Mirror

BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDINGS One-off special exploring love and courtship in Britain's Traveller community. Sixteen-year-old Ina Casey is marrying her first boyfriend, and has a wedding dress made from glitter fabric - a material more commonly used in wallpaper - while Danielle's nuptials are scheduled to take place just a day after she turns 16. Despite her youth, she's convinced she has made the right choice in committing to 21-year-old fiance Brendan, but can the reality live up to her dream of a white wedding?

00:50 Red Water 02:35 SuperCasino 05:00 HouseBusters 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 County Secrets 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Croc Man 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Disney Shorts: Pluto's Purchase 16:20 They Come Back 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Rory & Will - Champions of the World 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Britain's Funniest Comedy Characters

Tuesday TV

February 12

00:05 Blandings 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 Thirteen Days 03:40 Weatherview 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 The Hunt for Britain's Metal Thieves

00:20 Wonders of Life 01:20 Film 01:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:50 Close 05:00 Ask Lara 06:00 Schools 07:00 Close 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Cowboy Trap 09:20 Show Me the Monet 10:05 The Flowerpot Gang 11:05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 14:30 The Super League Show 15:15 Mastermind 15:45 Reel History of Britain 16:15 Two Greedy Italians 17:15 Life on Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer 22:00 The Railway: Keeping Britain on Track 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 Monk 01:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Champions League Weekly 04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 Mourinho

GREAT BRITISH MENU

North West chefs Aiden Byrne, Mary-Ellen McTague and Chris Holland prepare seafood courses, including a take on a classic prawn cocktail and dishes featuring Dover sole and salmon. The hopefuls must impress Great British Menu veteran Phil Howard to reach Friday's regional final.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 My Daughter the Teenage Nudist 01:15 The Shooting Gallery 02:10 Supersize vs Superskinny 03:05 Scandal 03:50 Mesh 03:55 Get Your House in Order 04:50 How to Look Good Naked 05:45 Deal or No Deal 06:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 They Who Dare 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Face the Clock 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 The Year Britain Flooded 23:00 Utopia

00:55 The Plank 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Britain's Strangest Pets 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Gracie's Choice 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Monkey Life 20:30 Highland Emergency 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Benidorm ER 22:00 Dallas 23:00 Brain Hospital: Saving Lives

41

Wednesday TV February 13

00:25 The Hand That Rocks the Cradle 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Holiday Hit Squad 22:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:20 The Culture Show 01:20 Britain's Hidden Heritage

02:20 Close 05:00 Strictly Soulmates 05:30 Ask Lara 05:40 Ask Lara 05:55 Locomotion: Dan Snow's History of Railways 06:35 Schools: William Whiskerson - Canal 06:45 Schools: William Whiskerson - Mountain 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Cowboy Trap 09:15 Show Me the Monet 10:00 The Flowerpot Gang 11:00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Mastermind 15:45 Reel History of Britain 16:15 Two Greedy Italians 17:15 Life on Earth 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Hairy Bikers' Everyday Gourmets 22:00 Brain Doctors 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 UEFA Champions League Highlights 01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Tonight 22:00 From the Heart 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 Martin Clunes - Heavy Horse Power

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Derek 00:45 One Born Every Minute 01:45 European Poker Tour 02:40 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:05 UCI Cyclo-Cross World Championships 04:00 Sailing 04:25 Inside Nature's Giants 05:20 Great Migrations 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 Shenandoah 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Face the Clock 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 Derek 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut

HOLIDAY HIT SQUAD Angela Rippon visits Majorca, where she finds out who takes care of terrified teenagers when they are hundreds of miles away from their parents. She also drops into the local police station to discover more Brits in trouble. Helen Skelton sees if she can persuade members of a family to return to the Turkish resort where they were involved in a shocking accident, and Joe Crowley is in Miami with a team of inspectors to uncover the hidden horrors in a trendy hotel on South Beach.

00:00 CSI: NY 00:55 CSI: Miami 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Milkshake! Monkey 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Britain's Strangest Pets 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Mary Higgins Clark's Remember Me 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Benidorm ER 21:00 Killers Behind Bars: The Untold Story 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Thursday TV February 14

00:05 Film 00:35 City by the Sea 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Question Time

00:20 The Genius of Invention 01:20 See Hear

01:50 World's Most Dangerous Roads 02:50 Close 04:55 Schools - How to Have a Clear Skin 05:05 Schools: Children at Work Cocoa 05:35 Ask Lara 05:45 Ask Lara 06:00 Schools - After Life: Rot Box Detectives 07:00 Close 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Cowboy Trap 09:20 Show Me the Monet 10:05 The Flowerpot Gang 11:05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 15:00 Coast 15:15 Mastermind 15:45 Reel History of Britain 16:15 Two Greedy Italians 17:15 The Living Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Planners 22:00 The Genius of Invention 23:00 Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Safari Vet School 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Adventures of Brer Rabbit 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:45 Emmerdale 20:45 UEFA Europa League Live 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 ITV News Meridian 23:45 The Jonathan Ross Show

BRITAINS SECRET SHOPPERS Entrepreneur Justin Preston teaches consumers how to haggle and secure good deals on big-ticket items, from cars and kitchens to holidays and designer wear.

He also heads behind the tills to apply his `profit principle' formula to ailing British businesses. In the first edition, a woman receives a crash course in how to knock thousands of pounds off the price of a new car, and Justin goes undercover at West London Beauty, whose owners need help boosting their profit margin.

00:20 The Last Leg 00:50 2 Broke Girls 01:20 Random Acts 01:25 Launched at Red Bull Studios 01:50 Mercury Prize: 2012 Albums of the Year Live 02:15 Revenge 03:00 One Fine Day 04:50 Smallville 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 13:25 Rear Window 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Face the Clock 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Britain's Secret Shoppers 22:00 Hugh's Fish Fight 23:00 Streak! The Man Who Can't Keep His Clothes On

00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Britain's Strangest Pets 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Mystery Woman: Wild West Mystery 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Dangerous Drivers' School 22:00 Winter Road Rescue 23:00 The Matrix Revolutions

42

Friday, February 8, 2013

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CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606.

Reg No:2009-SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

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Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 DUTCHMAN LIVING IN SAN FULGENCIO/LA MARINA IS LOOKING FOR DUTCH AND BELGIAN CLIENTS RENTALS FOR RENT MORE INFORMATION SEE MY WEBSITE WWW.LAMARINACASA.NL OR CALL 682 763 987 (104) 2 bed, 2 bath apartment fully furnished in Algorfa.

Solarium with view and parking. Available from mid April til end of October. 375 euros a month including bills. Call 622 105 716 (104) 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 300 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 636615716. (105) Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim-

BARBER

ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. KBJ3 – Luxury duplex penthouse apartment located near the marina in Guardamar. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, amazing panoramic views, inc.parking and storage. 500 € pcm.

966 923 963 Ref. CBR21 – A rare chance to rent a frontline beach apartment in Torrevieja!

Ground floor with large terrace, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, direct and full-on sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR20 – Spanish style 4th floor apartment right on the beach! 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lovely balcony to soak up the amazing sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR19 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment in sought after area beachside Punta Prima, with communal pool and fully furnished, only 400 € pcm. 966 923 963 CBR25 – Torrevieja town centre, 3 bed 2 bath apartment, bright and modern decor, only 10m from Playa Acequion, inc. Garage parking, unfurnished, long term rental only, 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR3 – 2 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse located in Algorfa, communal pool, fully furnished, 300 € pcm. 966 923 963

CARPENTER

Ref. RS20 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment within private enclosed residential in San Luis, large terrace, 330 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata.

Close to all amenities and beach.

3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CAR BREAKERS AIR CONDITIONING ALARMS

AIRPORT COLLECTION

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS

43

Friday, February 8, 2013 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 CBR23 : Stylish new house in Los Montesinos, 3 bed 2 bath with large 65m2 garage, front and back terraces. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Comprehensive cover for house and contents with CASER Seguros - excellent prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote.

Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apartment in San Luis. Great sea and lake views. 55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS96 – Charming 1 bedroom top floor bungalow, 300m from the sea in La Mata.

55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref: 510, €70,000.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is

included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. RS63 – 2 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse in Torrevieja, with communal pool and lots of extras.

95.000 €. Tl. 966 923 963 Ref. RS59 – Detached 3 bedroom 2 bathroom villa in San Luis, plot of 350m2, private pool, and additional “granny annex”. 169.000 €.

Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS1 – Detached 3 bedroom 2 bathroom villa with 900m2 plot located in Toretta Florida. Has private pool, Jacuzzi, sauna and much more! 345.000 € .Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS67 – 2 bedroom apartment with lovely sun terrace located in Playa Flamenca urb with communal pool. All amenities nearby. 61.500 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS98 - Spacious 2 bed, ground floor apartment 250m from La Mata beach, inc private parking and storeroom. 115.000€ Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS58 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom second floor apartment located in La Mata, communal pool, fully furnished, 79.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS84 – Large 3 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment of 100m2 situated in Los Montesinos.

Communal solarium upstairs with pool.

79.900 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS20 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment within private enclosed residential in San Luis, large terrace, 90.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963

Ref. RS65 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom penthouse apartment, communal pool and parking area, located near the beach in Guardamar.

79.950 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS90 – 2 bedroom detached villa all on one level, fully furnished, as new! Located in El Raso (Guardamar) 145.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. KEIGUA – Luxury duplex atico apartment in Guardamar. 3 bedroom 2 bathroom, 118 m2, private parking, storage room, communal pool, magnificent views of forest, beach and sea. 169.000 € Tel. 966 923 963 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant.

Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing

Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155

Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge

Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium.

Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant.

Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242

44

Friday, February 8, 2013

Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc.

The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside

with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof- top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course.

Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242

Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref

LOCKSMITH

K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked.

Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm

KITCHENS PETS

system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park.

Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale.

Briefly comprising of: 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located

in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, corner property in Don Pueblo with no expense spared, comprising of 3 double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 decoratively tiled bathrooms, very large independent kitchen with galleria. Included in the price are all kitchen appliances such as large fridge freezer, washing machine, dishwasher, microwave to name just a few. There is a huge lounge complete with chimney, plus large fully transformed under build,and small workshop. Front and rear private garden area, secure underground garage, tennis courts, football pitch and communal pools. Ref. K14 €209,00 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242

PARTY PLANNING

ELECTRICIAN

PLUMBERS

DAMP PROOFING

DRAINAGE MASSAGE

POOL TABLES

PLASTERER

45

Friday, February 8, 2013

Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gardens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south-facing, very private villa, with woodland and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul-de-sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and storage in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day,

something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant detached villa with converted under build and pool. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge- Diner, Front Porch, Large Solarium, decoratively tiled, Irrigated Garden.

BBQ and Log Storage Cupboard. Raised walls for Privacy. Also many extras, toldos blinds, freshly decorated interior, Grills, Mosquito Nets, Air Con H/C, Ceiling Fans, Log Burner Fire, Electric Radiators, Heated Towel Rails, Alarmed, Phone Line, Satellite UK TV, private parking. Plot size 310m2 under build 100m2. price includes all furniture.The under build consists of 2 beds, lounge, kit/utility room. ref L79. €250,000 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric

radiators, air con H/C, ceiling fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk-in shower, fitted wardrobes.

Decorative tiling inside and out.

Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, established gardens, water features and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods.

Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis

pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever constructed- Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 ensuit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys-

VAN HIRE

WARDROBES

tem and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local amenities such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach.

Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof-top solarium. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large decorative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with

STORAGE

REMOVALS

ROLLER BLINDS

front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:- 664 838 581

REMOVALS Small removals, deliveries & storage. Spain-UK-Spain.

Budget prices. www.spanishmoves.net. UK 01209 843971 or Spain 687 756 644 (101)

SITUATIONS VACANT Inviters wanted for all areas including Cabo Roig, La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Punta Prima and all areas of Costa Blanca South. Hours to suit and great rates of pay. Phone Sue (691 063 203) to find out more about working for the best New Company on the Costa Blanca.(101)

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today.

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

RECYCLING CLOTHES

46

Friday, February 8, 2013

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

GOBSMACKER IN previous weeks I have written about etiquette and its virtues on the golf course, but somewhere it has started to slip – or should I say spit.

When playing with fellow golfers up and down the Costas I have discussed the awful habit currently being displayed by top professionals.

I can also say, hand on heart, that in all the years I have played here, it’s a habit that has NOT been copied by golfers in this area.

But it seems that younger guys are bucking etiquette and following the habits of the golfing icons on TV. Over recent years the worst offender has been none other than Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods, whose most publicised exhibition was in Dubai in 2011.

Spitting is only marginally less toxic in golf than cheating on the missus.

The one thing he has continued to carry through his “hard times” is his consummate bad manners and irreverence to fellow competitors and the game that put him where he is.

Watching the live coverage from Dubai, I witnessed Tiger’s disgusting spitting incident on a green that other fellow competitors were still due to play on.

Woods has always been a ‘spitter’. The younger players of today have no fear and virtually every one of them looks up to Woods as the golfer that they strive to be. I know Rory McIlroy used to have him up on a pedestal and I am certain he is not alone where Woods’ golfing ability is concerned.

These are superstars, under the eye of the camera, of the public, of the world. And still they hawk up

It’s time Tiger and Co were made to pay for golf’s spitting image

maybe it would bring enough attention to it and something could be done because it's vile. But the Americans just don't seem bothered about it. The problem is they keep sticking chewing tobacco into the side of their mouths.

It needs to become a fineable offence on both the PGA Tour and the European Tour. It should start with a £1,500 penalty and then be doubled every time they are seen spitting.

TIGER WOODS: Consummate bad manners

a big blob of phlegm and shoot it onto a green where others must putt. It's disgusting and portrays Tiger and others as pretty base characters without manners.

In golf, the game is above the person, and it is up to the player to maintain the integrity of the game.

The European Tour fined Woods for spitting on the green after missing a par putt, and Tournament director Mike Stewart reportedly said that "there has been a breach" of conduct. The amount of the fine has never been revealed.

"Disgusting, what he has just done there," said Sky Sports commentator Ewen Murray. "But there are some parts of him that are just arrogant and petulant.

Somebody now has to come behind him and maybe putt over his spit. It does not get much lower than that, it’s

one of the ugliest things you will ever see on a golf course."

Sadly, in televised golf it's become a common sight.

A golfer is shown standing by the tee or green waiting to play his next shot and just before the coverage cuts back to the studio, he lets go a venomous discharge from his mouth.

What happens next appears to depend on where you live.

In the UK, there will be an appalled reaction from the anchor, even an apology to viewers. In the US, discussion will simply focus on the shot ahead or current state of the leaderboard.

Does the UK have more prudish presenters?

The general feeling on these shores is that spitting looks terrible when done by a golfer who is hardly generating loads of the stuff sim-

ply by walking.

In fact, it would be more unusual for our TV presenters NOT to mention it when it's done so brazenly.

The other general consensus is that it appears to be, shall we say, an American disease.

What baffles me is that it's not just the American young bucks (i.e. Huey Lewis, Keegan Bradley, Dudley Hart, Dustin Johnson whose phlegm levels were clearly set too high during his win at Pebble Beach) who are guilty but also some of the well-to-do veterans such as 'Gentleman' Jim Furyk.

It’s become an issue; the Sky Sports Golf team have had so many e-mails on the subject that it led the show's presenter Robert Lee to declare: "Let's start a campaign to stamp it out."

If enough letters were written to the PGA Tour

TITTER ON THE TEE

KNOW YOUR RULES

RON decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he is cleaning his golf clubs for his Saturday game. His wife is standing at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

“Darling, I've been thinking, now that we are married. I think it's time you stopped playing so much golf.

Maybe you should sell your clubs and cancel your membership at the golf club.’’

Ron gets this horror-struck look on his face. She says, "Darling, what's wrong?" ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

"Ex wife!” she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!" ”I wasn't .’’

What is the ruling if on a windy day, on a relatively fast or sloping putting surface after marking, lifting and perhaps giving your ball a good cleaning, you attempt to replace it but it will not stay in place?

A: Try to putt the ball while it is moving.

B: Play the ball where it comes to rest C: Try again to replace the ball on its original spot from which you could putt out.

ANSWER C: Should your ball still move away from the spot when you go to putt, there is no penalty. However, should you replace it several times without it remaining on the spot then Rule 203d comes into force unless the provisions of other rules apply.

Over the top?

Plenty of UK golf fans would agree but what would they make of such comments on the other side of the Atlantic?

I think more Americans are disgusted by it than you may realise. But remember, they look past any kind of questionable behaviour until they just can't handle it or the entire system collapses, and I suppose spitting is way down the priority

list behind slow play, club tossing, belly putters and other golfing atrocities.

They did object when Sergio Garcia spat in the cup at Augusta one year.

Somehow that got people's attention, probably because of the germ transfer possibilities more than the sheer tackiness of the gesture.

The idea that it's a cultural difference, although in the UK it's very much (but possibly unfairly) associated with American golfers, perhaps the real cultural difference is in the way spitting is perceived.

An easy solution for the build-up of saliva which needs to be expelled is for the player to move into a position on the course (rough/trees etc) and solve the problem discretely - or even put it in a tissue and dispose of it. I don't think there is any excuse for spitting on the green/near the fringes or in any area which could be deemed in play.

How would you feel if you took your 14-year-old son out for a knock at the weekend and he suddenly started spitting on the green?

I ask the simple question: How would Tiger feel if somebody walked into his house and spat on his carpet?

So what do you think?

47

Friday, February 8, 2013

OU EST ALL THE PIES!

THIS is an un-homme protest against the number of Frenchmen in the game we invented (I think…therefore we did).

Where have they all come from? Mais oui, I know the answer to that, France, but what I meant was – why?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got Gallic neighbours and we can almost converse in my schoolboy French (O level, grade three). It’s just that there do seem to be many more frogs croaking around in our Premier League these days than before. It’s almost de rigueur (see!) to have one in your team, you’re a Cisse if you haven’t…

We used to have one or two real belters, didn’t we, literally in the case of the enfant terrible, Palace pulveriser and drop-kick specialist, eccentric Eric Cantona. Then there was the Arsenal artiste Thierry Henry, what a player he was - is? Trouble is, then old Arsene filled half his team with feeble French footballers...

Silly question: where did

It’s time we swopped frogs’ legs for some British boeuf

the expression ‘daft as a box of frogs‘ come from – Loftus Road? It’s not all one-way though , occasionally we’ve reversed the hearse, recently swapping that little – well, not frog exactly, more like a toad – Joey Barton (another belter!) for Loic Remy - seems a bit one-sided, non?

Anyone remember Tony Cascarino?

After a series of h i g h value

unproductive transfers around the UK, occasional goalscorer Tone was exported to Marseilles, then Nancy where he re-invented himself as un formidable striker, and wrote a very entertaining book (Full Time) about his life, toad-like warts and all.

‘Alain’ Pardew’s Magpies have really caught the French flue, but worse than Quite Possibly Relegated are trying to.

Belter: Barton

Pourquoi oui homme (why aye, man!), apparently 40% of Newcastle’s team is currently French. But the GSOH Toon Army have caught onto le joke, sporting Inspector Clouseau moustaches and honest, the club shop has sold out of berets!

But, I admit, un or deux of the overpaid, over here Frenchballers can be a bit special – that Yohan Cabaye, who must be freezing his balons off up in the North-East, is wrapping them up warm to gee-up some gems for the Geordies.

Here’s a good question for all red-blooded, footballloving Brits: haven’t we bred enough decent footballers from our midst, in the timehonoured way of driving our parents mad kicking a ball around, when we should have been doing our homework?

Midfield kids do Monte proud Callosa Deportivo 1 CD Montesinos 2

THE new-look Montesinos side - a blend of established and junior players – defied the strong wind for a deserved victory.

With the wind behind Monte, Edu put them in front with a quick breakaway goal . The visitors then dominat-

ed in midfield, with the youngsters showing a great appetite for a battle.

Pushed deep, Callosa conceded a sequence of three free kicks, the last one being deflected by their centrehalf past his unsighted keeper to stretch the lead.

In the second half, it was encouraging to see the ball played into the wind to feet. The tactic created more clear chances than the home side, who were a little fortunate to prod home in a goalmouth scramble with 15 minutes to go.

TORRY FAIL TO GASCH IN

A LACK of concentration cost Torry dearly at Muro on Sunday as they allowed their hosts to equalise less than a minute after Gasch had rammed home a penalty to give them the advantage, writes JEFF SCOTT. A similar lapse presented the home side with the winner and now Torry prepare to fight for their division three survival, when once they considered themselves play-off protagonists.

Returning for the 5pm Saturday match at Jove will be Burguillos and Koeman, with an outside chance that Jorge will also feature. New recruit Villanueva is also likely to be in the squad, having shaken off the injury which prevented his debut at Muro.

Meanwhile, Ernesto met with club directors this week to discuss his future, as a knee injury has ruled him out for the remainder of the season. The club proposed his release from contract, permitting them the funds to replace him this term, but promising him a return to the team for next season.

The directors are continuing to pursue the players they need to create that winning formula, with also an eye to 2013/14, as they seek the magic mix of a realistic budget and an ultra competitive squad.

With wages overdue, generous sponsors TM have advanced funds that will see the players paid up to date.

Perhaps this also will be a timely boost to morale …

San Fulgencio’s title four-warning C.D Cox 4 Sporting de San Fulgencio 1 AFTER a quiet first half barring Cox's opening goal, the game burst into life in the second, with the hosts looking title favourites, writes JORDAN LUCAS. The breakthrough arrived five minutes before the interval when a clever corner was rifled in from all of 25 yards.

Cox doubled their lead just after the restart in controversial circumstances

as the referee failed to spot what seemed a crystal-clear offside position.

After Aurelio saw his rocket smash off the underside of the bar, the visitors halved the deficit when Fernando Mora's cross was headed goalward and Gary flicked the ball past the scrambling keeper.

Cox piled on the pressure and scored a third when a deep cross was

acrobatically volleyed into the bottom corner as San Ful's defence stood and watched. And a flowing move culminated in Jose Navarro being beaten at his near post to complete the scoring.

San Fulgencio’s next game is at home against Bigastro on February 12 at 12:00.

Thank you to Telecom 900 and the rest of our sponsors.

Saturday afternoon’s footie results now have a bewildering array of leagues and sponsors I’ve never heard of - like Blue Power, or is it N Square? Surely there must be some cheap, hungry, raw talent out there that our big British clubs can pick up and throw into the fray, giving our own smaller clubs some much-needed pounds, shillings and pence, and not throwing vast sums of converted euros over the Channel, Tony Fernandezstyle?

Traditional Sunday morning football threw up the likes of Ian Wright-Wright, it didn’t do Palace and the Gunners any harm, did it?

There must be more where he came from, surely? What are the scouts doing, all on exes doing booze runs sur le continente? What about Scotland, Wales and Ireland, who in the past gave us the likes of Denis Law, John Charles and the great George Best, the for-

mer two who played abroad in Italy. Yes, WE exported THEM, and now we get the likes of Mario Balotelli back don’t get me started on him!

So: I’ll buy the Gallic Geordies por le moment but messieurs ‘Arree et Tonee – if you don’t stop drawing and win , au revoir, amis!

No palm trees blown over Las Palmas 0 Elche 0 IN a technicolour Yellow v Green setting, neither side blew the other’s palm trees over in the Canary Islands.

Despite much huffing and puffing. Elche’s defence, the best in the league at 0.5 goals conceded per game held out in the first half from a lively Las Palmas attack, the home team riding along just outside the play-off zone in seventh place.

The second half was a different story, as league leaders Elche, 12 points clear, now began to pressurise.

Coro scored a superb volley-cum-bicycle-kick - ref said no, offside - replay showed otherwise!

Mucho Elche!

Every Day’s a Football Day February

11th 1980 Don’t you just love it? Kevin Keegan returns to English football when he signs for Southampton from SV Hamburg in a shock £420,000 move.

12th 1997 Gianfranco Zola scores the only goal of the game as Italy beat England 1-0 in their World Cup qualifying tie at Wembley. The match is England’s first ever home World Cup defeat.

13th 1909 Burnley are awarded four penalties in their match against Grimsby. The Mariners keeper manages to save three of them but the fourth turns out to be the winning goal.

14th 1996 Bob Paisley dies in a nursing home aged 77. In less than 10 years, Paisley guided Liverpool to 20 trophies: three European Cups, a UEFA Cup, a European Super Cup and six league titles, three league cups and six charity shields 15th 1995 England’s game with the Republic of Ireland in Dublin is abandoned after 27 minutes following rioting by England fans. After the match Wimbledon’s Vinnie Jones bit Daily Mirror reporter Ted Oliver’s nose in an unprovoked attack.

16th 1957 Egypt beat Ethiopia 4-0 in the first ever final of the Africa Cup of Nations, El Diba getting all four goals. However, there were only three teams in the competition, South Africa withdrawing after it had been insisted that they field a mixed side 17th 1990 Arsenal central defender Steve Bould scores the fastest ever own goal in the top flight when he nets after an impressive 16 seconds against Sheffield Wednesday Compiled by STUART EVANS

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Friday, February 8, 2013

NUTCRACKER SWEET Hodgson’s kids get the taste of battered Brazil

AN exciting, vibrant England side cracked open Brazil’s shell twice in a midweek friendly that bodes well as Roy Hodgson’s men march on in the World Cup qualifiers.

The goals in a 2-1 victory came from Wayne Rooney (making it 10 in his last 10 games) and evergreen Frank Lampard, coming on as a second half sub. The hilariously-named Fred sandwiched Brazil’s equaliser in between.

The young guns did England proud, with Theo Walcott rampant on the right and Jack Wilshire and Tom Cleverley quick and alert contesting the midfield. Apart from one clanger that led to Brazil’s goal, Gary Cahill played well in defence in front of Joe Hart, who even saved a Ronaldinho penalty after 20 minutes.

Wales pulled off an excellent 2 – 1 win over Austria, and Scotland got new boss Gordon Strachan off to a flier with their 1 – 0 win over Estonia. Northern Ireland drew in Malta, while the Republic winning 2 – 0 in Poland.

Wasn’t it a wonderful weekend in the Premier League? Must-win-but-drew Man City meant the gap increased behind their nasty neighbours to a daunt-

John McGregor reports

ing nine points. The 100mph 2 -2 thriller with Liverpool had everything, Daniel Sturridge not celebrating against his old club as he equalised Edin Dzecko’s opener. Second half poser - who’s goal was best? The old maestro Stevie Gerrard looked like he’d lashed in the Reds’ winner, only for poor Pepe Reina to have a rush of blood, letting in lightningquick Sergio Aguero who had absolutely no right to chip in the second equaliser from the most impossible angle.

Erm, silly City question: now that mental Mario’s metamorphed to Milan, why didn’t fans fave Carlos Tevez come on, City-style when the going got rough?

Let’s see how City set out at Southampton Saturday...

O Dim wee, what can the matter be? At West Brom, now they’re all hating me Drove to see Harry, was sure that he wanted me, no-one would let me in…

Weary West Brom’s Peter Odinwingie is now suspended by the club, and Goran Popov, aka Spit-thedog, was rightly sent off as the beleaguered Baggies problems pile up. This time they went down to another great Gareth Bale blockbuster - shades of his Carrow Road cracker t’week before.

From kicking ball-boys, Chelsea were kicked in the teeth themselves as the Djemba Ba boo boys had a delirious day at St James Park rubbishing their unfortunate old boy, who suffered a savage facial

kick from old team mate Fabricio Coloccini. But the Clouseau moustachioed Toon Army took their berets off to salute their new French favourite, Moussa Sissoko, who scored two crackers, including the final-minute winner on his home debut as Newcastle gave Chelsea the blues.

Juan Mata is the 16-goal Blues star. He and faithful Frankie Lampard must have thought they’d done enough, leading 2 -1 with a couple of beauties. But Sissoko’s strikes meant big Bridge sighs… and the touchy Tsar will not be happy. Will wayward Wigan be welcome on Saturday?

Wonderful Wayne finally finished forlorn Fulham’s hopes to keep Manchester United winning with a superb solo, the Reds doing just enough to turn up the heat under sweaty City. Toffees could be sticky Sunday at Old Trafford.

Come-back kings Royally went one better this week, with Reading going ahead, checked back level then winning in the last minute - no Adam Le Fondre, this week read Jimmy Kebe, his brace sending recently-resurgent Sunderland back pointless to the Black Cats home.

Frank Bruno lookalike big Christian Benteke gave Everton the old one-two at Goodison, putting Villa 3 – 1 ahead, only for Maroanne Fellaini to haul the Toffees level with a twosome of his own. Villa in big trouble, must beat West Ham at home Sunday.