The Courier Week 105 by TKO UK

Edition 105

www.thecourier.es

Friday, February 22, 2013

NEW SETBACK FOR ‘HORRIFIC’ SCHOOL Valencia puts improvement plans on ice

Education chiefs in Valencia have frozen improvement plans for the rundown Príncipe School in Rojales for another month - claiming that there are insufficient funds available. A delegation comprising Rojales Mayor Antonio Pérez, headteacher Mauricio Pacheco, education councillor Tatiana Cañizares and AMPA president Soraya Fernández emphasised the desperate state of the antiquated school building at a meeting with regional education chief Rafael Carbonell in Valencia this week. The Mayor insisted that the school “is not just a priority, but an emergency”, submitting a package of complaints, demands for action and a selection of shocking photo-

By HEIDI WARDMAN graphs, depicting the extent of the problems and anger of parents. Pérez told the meeting that “at least 200 former students no longer attend the Rojales School, as they have transferred to private schools to escape the situation”. He went on to explain that several meetings had been held with the parents concerned, with most of them electing to remove their children, and enrol them in a school that offers adequate levels of security and confidence. Príncipe School was constructed over 40 years ago, and parents and teaching staff have reported several deficiencies over the years, with the problems now posing severe

threats to the health and safety of all attending. Rachel King, whose six-year old daughter Jasmine attends the school, described its present condition as “horrific”. She highlighted drastic problems such as the absence of a fire escape on the first floor, deteriorating lead piping throughout the school, inadequate electrical systems which mean that classrooms have to be heated by rotation, cracked and crumbling supporting beams, poor drainage which results in sewerage rising into the playground when it rains, and general dampness throughout. Although no solution was reached during the latest meeting, the Mayor felt that some headway had been made. “We will return to debate the problems in another month. It is only a small step, but still productive,” he said. “The Regional Director was honest and sincere in his address. I have faith that he is committed to reviewing the matter in a month’s time.” Nonetheless, the news is far from satisfactory for parents and students, who are left to endure the same hazardous conditions for at least another month. “It is difficult to have patience, and watch your child attending a school that is a potential death trap every day,’’ said Rachel. “However, we understand that we have no choice but to pursue matters through the

official channels”. She confirmed that the Mayor has offered immeasurable support to AMPA, the ParentTeachers group, who would not have been seen by the Education Director without his presence. “We are all fighting the same cause, and hope that a favourable outcome is given next month,” she concluded, adding: “If a concrete solution is not reached during next month’s meeting, AMPA will be forced to take stronger action."

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Friday, February 22, 2013

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JUNGLE DRUMS

Let me get out first - I promise I’ll help you out after! Photo: LEN SPARKES of Quesada

PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT!

Health chiefs bond with Valencia in EHIC education campaign A CAMPAIGN to explain how British citizens in Spain should use UKissued European Health Insurance Cards (EHICs) has been launched by the UK Department of Health and the Valencia Health Authority. The EHIC Campaign aims to greatly raise awareness among British citizens and Spanish healthcare staff in the Valencia Autonomous Community over the next 15 months. The innovative partnership between a UK government department and a Spanish regional authority has been recognised by the European Union, which is funding the campaign. Launching the campaign in Alicante, David Pennington, Head of the

Department of Health’s International Healthcare team, said: “Many British citizens living in Spain are confused about how to access state healthcare and many use their EHIC cards when they should be accessing healthcare in another way. “This campaign explains who can use a UK-issued EHIC and what it’s for. It also tells people about other

ways to access state healthcare in Spain, depending on their circumstances.” What you should know about the UK European Health Insurance Card The UK European Health Insurance Card should only be used to access medically-necessary state treatment during the course of a temporary stay in Spain. It does not provide access to all state treatment but for those

in Spain on a temporary stay, it is the correct way to access state healthcare. However British citizens who live mainly in Spain should change the way they are registered, because for them the UK European Health Insurance Card is not the correct form of health cover. The new EHIC marketing and advertising campaign will explain how to do this. The campaign will also explain to the administrative staff of the Valencia Health Authority how the UK covers its citizens in Spain and how the UK reimburses Spain for the cost of medical care provided to British citizens. British citizens can find comprehensive information on the use of EHICs at www.healthcareinspain.eu.

An extensive radio and newspaper advertising campaign will further promote the correct use of EHICs, and leaflets will be distributed through health centres and at public events. There will be 18 public talks, starting in Denia next Wednesday (February 27) and in Orihuela Costa the following day. More details can be found on the www.healthcareinspain.eu website. Some two million British tourists visit the Valencia region every year and there are an estimated 300,000 British residents in the region, some 40% of the total in Spain. Although the campaign is centered on Valencia, much of the information is relevant to British citizens across Spain.

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Friday Rain High 17° Low 5° Chance of rain 65% Monday Partly cloudy High 13° Low 5° Chance of rain 2%

Tuesday Partly cloudy High 13° Low 6° Chance of rain 20%

Saturday Showers High 16° Low 4° Chance of rain 55% Wednesday Cloudy High 14° Low 9° Chance of rain 40%

Sunday Partly loudy High 13° Low 5° Chance of rain 42% Thursday Showers High 13° Lo 8° Chance of rain 55%

Friday, February 22, 2013

TERROR TRIO ‘WERE PLANNING NEW 7/7’ THREE Birmingham Asians have been found guilty of planning a massive terrorist attack by packing eight rucksacks with explosives to cause mass casualties. Irfan Naseer, 31, Irfan Khalid, 27, and Ashik Ali, 27, were convicted yesterday (Thursday) of plotting the 'spectacular campaign' designed to claim as many lives as the 2005 London Underground bombs that killed 52 innocent people. They were 'central figures' in an Islamic extremist plot to set off bombs and possibly other devices on timers in crowded areas in Britain. Judge Justice Henriques said: 'You were seeking to recruit a team of suicide bombers to carry out a spectacular bombing campaign, one which would create an anniversary along the lines of 7/7 or 9/11'. The bomb plotters had the means, the will and the knowhow to carry out mass murder in the biggest terror attack on the British mainland 'in a generation', detectives said.

LIFE IN SPAIN ORIHUELA City Council has been q penalised an average of €300,000 per annum for the last four years for poor handling of waste water, due to deficiencies in the town’s sewerage system. The municipality has a total of nine treatment plants, which sources from the Environmental Department say were built over 20 years ago, and are not efficient enough to cleanse water within the new, stricter parameters for the protection of the environment. EL ALTET airport has labelled 2012 the q worst year in its history, with 12 solid months decline in passenger traffic, and a loss of one million people for the year. However, director Santiago Martínez-Cava sees a positive change for 2013, after figures for January showed a 1.8% increase in passengers. Last year’s terrible figures are thought to be partly due to the closure of Spanair and the withdrawal of regular flights by Air Europa and Ryanair. SIXTY-THREE members of an q Alicante-based criminal organisation specialising in the theft of large

GUILTY: From left, Irfan Khalid, Irfan Naseer and Ashik Ali were convicted at Woolwich Crown Court of being 'central figures' in a giant terrorist bomb plot In surveillance recordings, Naseer was heard talking about the possibility of mixing poison into creams such as Vaseline or Nivea and smearing them on car handles to cause mass deaths. The trio even pondered welding blades to a truck and driving it into people. Police believe it was the most significant terror plot to be uncovered since the 2006 con-

spiracy to blow up transatlantic airliners using bombs disguised as soft drinks. Khalid even boasted that the attack was 'another 9/11' as 'revenge for everything'. Naseer was found guilty of five counts of engaging in conduct in preparation of terrorist acts, Khalid four, and Ali three, all between Christmas Day 2010 and September 19 2011.

For Naseer, from Sparkhill, Khalid, from Sparkbrook, and Ali, from Balsall Heath, this included planning a bombing campaign, collecting money for terrorism and recruiting others for terrorism. Naseer and Khalid also travelled to Pakistan for training, and Naseer helped others travel to the country for the same purpose.

Drug Brits: Dubai police tortured us THREE British men claim they were beaten and electrocuted after being imprisoned in Dubai for possession of a cannabis substitute. It’s the latest in a string of expats and holidaymakers to fall foul of the law in the United Arab Emirates. Grant Cameron and Karl Williams, from London, and Suneet Jeerh from Essex, were arrested during a holiday to the country seven months ago. The men, all aged 25, say they were threatened and beaten before being forced to sign documents in Arabic – a language that none of them understands – while one told the UK charity Reprieve that security officers administered electric shocks to his testicles. Dubai Police denied the allegations. Britons are more likely to be arrested in the UAE than anywhere else in the world as bars, all-day champagne brunches and beach clubs belie strict laws forbidding public drunkenness or displays of affec-

tion. The country’s drugs legislation is draconian, with possession of a banned substance often carrying a four-year minimum sentence and dealing convictions carrying the possibility of death by firing squad. In his testimony to a lawyer for the charity, Williams claims he was tortured in a hotel room. He said a towel was placed over his face so that he could not see. “They kept telling me I was going to die. I was so scared,” he said. “Once I had been knocked to the ground, the police picked me up and put me on the bed. They pulled down my trousers, spread my legs and started to electrocute my testicles. It was unbelievably painful.” After the electric shocks were administered, Mr Williams claims a gun was pointed at his head. “All I could think was that the gun in my face could go off if the policeman slipped, and it would kill me. I started to believe I was

going to die in that room,” he said. A source in Dubai police said that a “neutral party” was appointed to investigate if any torture had taken place, but had found the claims to be untrue, adding that the police has been dealing with the British consulate with regards to the case. The torture allegedly took place after the men were found in possession of the synthetic cannabis substitute “Spice”, which was banned last summer. The men, were arrested in July last year after being found in possession of just over a kilo of “Spice” in their BMW as it was parked in Dubai Marina, a cluster of sky rises and hotels popular with Western expatriates. Two have been charged with intending to supply the drug - which carries a minimum 15 year prison sentence, while one has been charged with possession. They deny the charges.

quantities of drugs, have been arrested in a joint intelligence operation facilitated by the Guardia Civil and National Police. The detainees face over 100 charges, including murder, kidnapping, sexual assault, crimes against public health, robbery with violence and intimidation, bribery, bank fraud and money laundering.

SPEAKING English and knowledge of new technologies have become priority subjects in schools across Valencia, with the Government creating 300 more teaching posts to facilitate the courses. Councillor for Education María José Catalá revealed details of a four-year education plan, which will gradually eliminate prefabricated schools buildings, create more classrooms and introduce afternoon schooling.. MORE than 40,000 people in q Alicante province, including 2,700 babies, have begun receiving food parcels courtesy of the Spanish Red Cross. The move is part of the third phase of the Food Aid Plan 2012, which was launched with the objective of providing food for those in most need of quality basic agricultural products. THE Department of Health has q approved a compensation claim of €400,000 to a patient from Orihuela, who suffered 29 months delay in the diagnosis of cancer. The tumour became so widespread that his right femur had to be amputated. Three years later he also suffered lung metastasis, all of which resulted in a "severe disability". THE City Council of Torrevieja has q approved plans to remodel the interior zones of La Mata. The plan includes construction of five nine-storey apartment blocks spread over 11,000 square metres in one of the non-seafront areas.

Friday, February 22, 2013

HAVE YOU SEEN IAN? Police launch new hunt for missing homebuyer

GRETAER Manchester Police are appealing for help in tracing a man who disappeared on a trip to finalise the purchase of a villa on the Orihuela Costa. Ian Watson. From Stockport, was last seen in the Orihuela area in October 16, 2000 – two days after arriving in Spain. He hired a car to take him to the villa at Lomas De Don Juan and is known to have made several calls to his family in the UK on the 16th. But there have been no sightings since then of 65-year-old Ian, who is white, 5ft 11in tall, of medium build, and has wavy grey hair and blue eyes. At the time of his disap-

pearance it is believed he was clean shaven. Julie Potts, Missing Person Safeguarding Officer with Greater Manchester Police Public Protection Division, said: “ It has now been several years since Ian was reported missing. If anyone reading this has any information concerning his whereabouts, I urge them to get in touch with Greater Manchester Police on 0044 161 856 8499 / 9151/ 2234’’. (Email: julie.potts@gmp.pnn.police.uk ) Alternatively, contact with the Greater Manchester Police can be made through Chris Poole at 96 676 1379 or e-mail cgpoole@hotmail.com

Horror of body in hotel water tank

Brit tourist: 'The water did have a funny taste' BRIT tourists have told of their horror after a dead body was found in the tank holding the hotel water they had been drinking and bathing in for days. Michael and Sabrina Baugh, both 27, complained to staff at the rundown Cecil Hotel in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday that water was only dribbling out of their taps. When an engineer examined the cisterns on the roof, he discovered the body of Canadian tourist Elisa Lam, 21, who disappeared on February 1. The student from the University of British

Columbia was last seen at the hotel almost three weeks ago. Her body is believed to have been floating and decomposing in the tank since then. The water in the tank where Elisa was found feeds taps and showers in the hotel rooms, as well as a coffee shop and the kitchen downstairs. LA Department of Public Health director Terrance Powell said: “Our biggest concern is going to be faecal contamination because of the body in the water.” Brit Michael said: "The moment we found out, we felt a bit sick to the stom-

ach, quite literally, especially having drunk the water, we're not well mentally." His wife Sabrina added: “The water did have a funny taste. We never thought anything of it. We thought it was just the way it was here.” The couple said their twoweek holiday - their first trip to the US - was ruined. Detectives are working to determine if Elisa’s death was the result of foul play or an accident. Police still don't know how Lam died or even how she ended up on the roof of the hotel – which is protected by locked doors and an alarm.

Chairperson Gill Burden makes a presentation to Anne Macrae-Clifton for her long and dedicated service to the Royal British Legion, Torrevieja Branch No 3456. Former WREN Anne was a founder member 15 years ago, along with her late husband who was a Past President

Friday, February 22, 2013

editor@thecourier.es

COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Shackled doc: Why no reply? They treat us like mushrooms and keep us in dark I DO not know the truth of your front page story (Issue 104) of the doctor in shackles. What I do know is that there is always another side of the story. You printed an article that showed the Torrevieja Hospital in a very bad light, without giving the management a chance to respond. It is so disappointing to find that yet another English language newspaper fails to present a balanced view. No newspaper in the UK would print such a story without giving an opportunity for response. How unprofessional! LYNDA SUMMERFIELD, San Miguel de Salinas

You are quite right in saying Torrevieja Hospital should have been given the right of reply to

Dr Mannu's criticism - and they were. They were sent full details of his claims, in Spanish, on January 22, three weeks before we published the article, and were asked for their observations. We know for a fact that they received the details, but they have still not replied or even acknowledged the complaint. Unfortunately the paragraph at the end of last week's story reporting this detail was omitted due to a production misunderstanding - EDITOR I HAVE read Dr Machi Mannu’s damning report on Torrevieja Hospital. I do not believe a word of it. I have been in business in Spain for ten years and have visited many of my customers in the hospital; all received good care

and professional help. They were treated with the utmost respect and dignity. My wife has been battling cancer for over two years and was in a coma for 77 days. The treatment she received was first class and they are still trying everything to help her. I myself have been treated a couple of times at the hospital and was treated with the utmost respect. As for shackling patients, it is done so that they cannot harm themselves i.e ripping out drips etc. It is not a common practice. And as for the hospital having an aggressive attitude towards foreigners, nothing could be further from the truth. ROBERT COOK, Los Balcones

5 DAYS OF HELL - FOR NOTHING HOW relieved I was to read your article ‘Iberswitch Nearly Killed My Husband’. The same thing happened to us, unbelieveably on the same day - the only difference being we were in the UK for the festive season. We didn’t know till our return on January 12, when we found all our food in the freezer had gone off, no heating or hot water, no oven, and as Iberswitch only work Monday to Friday, we were unable to do anything about it for two days. We contacted them at 9am on Monday morning and was told almost word for word what Sue Bridgman was told - that we must have missed a bill payment and it was our fault. Fortunately I keep all my bills and bank statements and was able to prove not only were the bills paid, but two that showed as credits had been debited from my account and we had actually made an overpayment. Recovering from cancer, I do not need all this stress and to add insult when I tried to call on the fourth day without electricity, the phone was put down on me! I tried on four different phones and as soon as I said who I was, the receiver was put down! I eventually had the electric put on on Day 5 and am still waiting to find out why we were cut off and what is going to happen to the money we have overpaid. This is a quote from the letter we received when we signed up. "Your bills will be

individually checked by us each month to make sure there are no discrepancies. A statement in English will be sent to you, giving details of your monthly payment .It will also show what your bill would have been prior to the change and the amount you saved. All communications regarding your electricity supply from now on come through us - not to premium numbers!" At no time have any of these promises been upheld and I would take issue with the reply in Issue 103 from the director of Iberswitch .They are clearly not acting in a professional manner and in the interest of their clients. SUE HESTER, Campoverde I HAVE just read Susan Bridgman’s letter about Iberswitch. I also have had problems, being well overcharged by Electval over the summer months, when we were not here and the electricity was turned off. I requested help from Iberswitch, as their contract states they would sort out any problems. But they refused to understand what I was saying, so after several phone calls, I cancelled my contract with them, and they accepted. We are now back with Iberdrola, who say Electval owe them money; in turn Electval say I owe them money. whereas in fact, they sent me notification that they would pay back the overpayment from the summer. We have not received anything from them. How many more customers of Iberswitch have had problems? JOAN M ATKINSON, Cartagena

SUSAN Bridgeman’s dealings with Iberswitch and Iberdrola has prompted me to write in about our recent predicament. We had a problem with Iberdrola threatening to cut us off between August and November 2012, when we were with three different suppliers arranged by Iberswitch. We found out that Iberdrola were wanting payments from us for line and equipment rental, and not for the electricity supply that we used and had regularly paid for by direct debit. Every time Iberswitch changed our suppliers, Iberdrola sent us threatening demands. We eventually paid Iberdrola two of the demands, for €136.27 euros and for €34.44, as we were due back in the UK when Iberdrola stated in a registered letter that they were going to cut us off. We have refused to pay the last demand to Iberdrola for another €78.70 as we had never received a supply from the last so-called service provider as arranged by Iberswitch, as at that time we had already changed back to Iberdrola. I wish we never changed to Iberswitch. We were not alone either; three others signed up at the same time in the same area, had the same demanding letters from Iberdrola for payments for so-called line and equipment hire, and nothing to do with payments for electricity supply. All through this period I emailed Iberswitch and the service providers but got no response so eventually returned to Iberdrola because the stress impacted on us both mentally and financially. I am still unaware of the politics and issues surrounding this problem as Iberswitch and Iberdrola appear to be treating us like mushrooms by keeping us in the dark. When we did phone Iberswitch at a later date they were not really helpful or enlightening, and were initally reluctant to help as they stated that we were no longer customers, although Iberswitch had taken a management fee for the periods we wanted to question. We then visited Iberdrola in Guardamar to try to get clarification on the demanding letters. They stated that the three suppliers organised by Iberswitch were in default on payments for the hire of Iberdola’s pylons and transmission equipment and that we were therefore liable. We were advised to contact our suppliers as failure to pay this hire charge would result in our electricity supply being cut off. We had no other choice but to pay Iberdrola the unpaid hire cost. I hope other readers find what appear to us as unethical actions useful. RON and JEAN BARDINI , Ciudad Quesadaa

Iberswitch’s managing director replies: REGARDING Sue Hester’s letter, Iberdrola will only cut people off if there is a bill outstanding and when I say that I mean from the customer, not the retailer. In this particular case and confusing things further, the electricity company billed her incorrectly, realising their mistake they issued a replacement invoice and charged her account. However, that charge, perceived to be incorrect, was rejected by the bank either at the client's request or as a unilateral decision by the bank. There is a refund due to her of €46 and I understand from her former supplier, this will be credited to her account in the near future. I am afraid that the loss of her supply

was due to a chain of events which began with an incorrect bill being produced. It is not something I have ever seen before and not likely to see again. It is just unfortunate that it happened to Mrs Hester. Regarding the letters from the Bardinis and Mrs Atkinson, both are speaking of the Iberdrola letters which are being sent to ex-Iberdrola customers stating there is money owed by the retailer. This subject has recently been covered extensively in the press and everyone should know by now that this is not true, there is no money owed to Iberdrola and no risk of losing the supply. All our customers were sent copies of these letters as an example to pre-warn

them of what we can only describe as harassment by Iberdrola. The problem is, with unlimited resources, the letters have been sent month after month, often by registered post. Last week we published an "open letter" to the instigator of the letters asking for a measure of professionalism and out of consideration to the many recipients, that they should stop. We believe that as the consumer is not actually the customer of Iberdrola, they should not be writing to them anyway. We spoke with Mrs Atkinson about her usage and informed her that when she is billed her for electricity, she is billed the number of kilowatts that Iberdrola tell them to charge. Iberdrola continue to

read the meter and if there is ever a mistake with the reading, it is Iberdrola's meter readers which have caused it. If any of our customers have concerns regarding any element of our service or, the letters being sent by Iberdrola, they should call us on 902 027 517 and a member off our Care team will be happy to assist them. DAVID ROOK Managing Director, Iberswitch

EDITOR’S NOTE: Letters and emails will only be considered for publication if an address and contact number are provided (not for publication).

Friday, February 22, 2013

THE PAIN GAIN IT’S now six weeks since I started my Dumpy Grumpy diet – and I’m winning. Well, I was until the weekend, anyway. One stone gone, one-and-a-half to go – at least, that’s what I intended when I set my 16 kilo weight-loss target in early January. The aim was to raise £500 for research into Crohn’s Disease, a cause close to my heart because Crohn’s has blighted the childhood of two of my grandchildren. I’m delighted to say that, thanks to the generosity of family, friends and Courier readers, the sponsorship fund zoomed past the target this week…so it looks like CICRA – the Crohn’s in Children Research Association - could end up with considerably more than it bargained for. Which brings me on to the last traumatic week, in which my 13-year-old granddaughter Daisy finally had the surgery she has needed so desperately for the last five months. hour operation at Alder Hey Las Thursday, pale and Children’s Hospital in emaciated after losing one Liverpool, during which surthird of her bodyweight, she geons removed several feet underwent a five-and-a-half of infected intestine.

DUMPY O LD SPONSOR GRAN’S ED DIET TARGET

- to weight and lose 16 kilos for CICRA raise £500 . weight on Starting Ja 93.2 kilos. nuary 10 Feb 20 - 8 Last weigh-in 7. TOTAL RA 1 kilos. ISED for Chron’s Re search:

Crohn’s fund hits target as op eases Daisy’s agony £504 Mum Hayley with Daisy in hospital this week

They also found an abscess which was pressing on one of her kidneys and no doubt causing much of the excruciating pain she has

suffered over the past few months. Four days after surgery, she was still being dosed with morphine to ease her

post-op discomfort. And she looks unlikely to be leaving hospital any time soon. The poor mite has evenbeen stripped of her sense of humour - legacy of intense stomach pains if she attempts to llaugh or cry. “Try to be serious for a change,’’ my daughter Hayley ordered the minute I arrived at Daisy’s bedside on Sunday after flying in from Alicante. “When she’s awake, she finds it excruciatingly painful to laugh or cry so none of your silly jokes or songs, please!’’ So that’s it, then. Food deprivation followed by a ban on humour. Goodbye world, II’m off. Well, almost. However, a little food deprivation to pre-

vent other children having to endure the same sort of torture as Daisy is hardly a penance for an embryo whale like I was six weeks ago. I’m a couple of sacks of spuds lighter now and people have started asking me for my recipe for losing weight. As if I have become some sort of slimming expert virtually overnight! I can’t even comment on the exercise aspects that everyone says must be part of any weight-loss regime because I haven’t done any. What I have done is reduce the size of my meals – and eat a lot more often. I’ve also cut out potatoes,

Turn to Page 15

Friday, February 22, 2013

EVER BIN IN LOVE?

AS a Valentine's Day treat I arranged to meet Mrs S for drinkies at a posh hotel. Unfortunately, I was running late. The petrol station was already closing up and they'd shifted their buckets of bargain flowers from the forecourt. So what to get Mrs S instead as a token of my love? Chocolates? Nah, I was always getting her confectionery. Er, when I say 'always' I mean the few times a year I purchase those choccy-covered peanuts she adores. And when I say 'adores' I mean she likes to lick off the chocolate and then she passes me the peanuts. Mrs S hates peanuts but I happen to have a penchant for them. Okay. Perhaps something practical for Valentine's Day? A new kitchen bin because the lady's worth it? Nah, that somehow didn't sound right. It was no good. I would have to go meet my beloved empty-handed and tell her the truth -- that my tardiness had resulted in her receiving

no passionate present from her husband. I bounded through the entrance of the posh hotel and approached the solitary figure pacing impatiently within. 'Sorry I'm late, darling,' I cooed. 'I stopped off to buy you flowers, chocolates and a new kitchen bin but I left

them behind in the shop.' 'And who the hell are you?' snapped the woman I had been grovelling to. 'Blimey!' I spluttered, blinking furiously at the stranger. 'You are NOT Mrs S.' I surveyed my surroundings. Buses and cars were flashing by and it was very noisy. In my haste I had inadvertently completed a full cir-

cuit of the hotel's revolving doors and was back in the street. 'You can explain to my boyfriend when he asks why you're chatting me up,' said the woman who was still pacing impatiently without (not within). 'That's if the unfeeling slob ever turns up. What is it with you blokes? You never can get anything right.' 'I apologise,' I apologised and hared off into the hotel foyer. 'And a word of advice, mister!' shouted the

woman after me. 'I wouldn't give that Mrs S a kitchen bin for Valentine's Day. It ain't worth it -- your life I mean.' The hotel reception area was deserted. Mrs S had obviously given up on me and had left. 'Curses!' I cursed aloud. What the heck was I to do now? Had Mrs S gone home or had she retired hurt to the hotel bar after I had failed to turn up on time? I checked the bar. She wasn't there. I should have gone home -- but I didn't. I returned to the bar and resolved to make a move after smoothing out my dented nerves with a glass of restorative refreshment. I sat at a table and settled back in the comfy chair. 'Don't lean too far back against the wall, sir,' the barman called over. 'That fire door is alarmed.' 'I'm not surprised -- at these bar prices!' I called back. 'That's moderately amusing, sir,' giggled the barman.

'Permit me to introduce myself. My name is David.' 'So is mine,' I responded. 'Hey, you're not by any chance related to Dave the barman at my local pub?' 'Why would I be?' asked David the barman. 'Well,' I shrugged. 'It does seem more than coincidence. Both you and he are barmen and both of you are named Dave.' 'But I'm called Darren,' said David the barman. 'My full name is Mr Darren David. And you just said you're a David, too. So maybe it's the two of us who are related.' 'Now I've completely lost the plot, Mr David,' I mumbled, downing my drink and fleeing the bar. 'Sorry about today, luv. I got a bit bewildered,' I announced when I got home. 'We'll definitely meet up next Valentine's Day. Anyway, I'm off to bed. I'm knackered.' 'Before you retire, the kitchen rubbish is overflowing again,' said Mrs S. 'If you promise to buy me a bigger bin I shall love you forever.'

Friday, February 22, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 59 This will be our last week of learning adverbs - we will have some revision and then be moving back to verbs and different tenses. There are a couple of tenses that are the easiest to learn and we will be starting with those. But for now we will carry on with adverbs: JUST: When used for a specific time or place it can be translated by justo (justamente can be used but is becoming very uncommon) Ella se llega justo cuando yo llego . She arrives just as I arrive Ellos viven justo enfrente de mi casa -. they live just opposite my house Sometimes we use just when we mean simply or only, in this context the Spanish use sólo/solamente (only) and simplemente (simply) simplemente hazlo – just do it, yo sólo quiero una taza de café – I just want a cup of coffee. Just can also of course be used to mean a short time ago as in I have just.... these are translated by acabar de followed by the infinitive forms: acabo de terminar – I have just finished, ellos acaban de visitarme – they have just visited me. Recién is used to describe actions that have just taken place and whose effects are still visible: recién casado – just married, recién pintado – freshly (just) painted. LATE: the adverb translates as tarde it is not possible to translate lately as tardemente but rather the words used are últimamente or recientemente. LONG: when used as meaning a length of time it translates as mucho tiempo (it has nothing to do with long in relation to length which is largo) lleva mucho tiempo – it takes a long time

How long? In reation to duration translates as cuánto (tiempo) hace que or desde cuándo if the action or situation is still ongoing. In other cases it translates as cuánto tiempo. With the verb llevar only cuánto tiempo is possible. ¿Cuánto tiempo hace que vives en esta casa? - how long have you lived in this house? ¿Cuánto tiempo hace que trabajas para él? - how long have you been working for him? ¿Cuánto tiempo estás allí? - how long are you there? ¿Cuánto tiempo llevas aquí? - how long have you been here? If you meet someone and start a conversation, one of the most common questions you will hear is that last one, i.e. How long have you been here meaning Spain. Too long is demasiado tiempo, so long is tanto tiempo and long enough can be suficiente tiempo or lo suficente. These will become clear as we go through past tenses as that is when they are most likely to be used. Longer in relation to timescale must be translated as más tiempo and much longer as mucho más tiempo. You can use muchísimo tiempo or siglos (centuries) to mean a very long time, or ages MOST: you are already familiar with the word that the Spanish use for most and that is más. La camisa blanca me gusta más – I like the white shirt most Mostly meaning for the main part translates as mayormente but also used are fundamentalmente, en su mayoría, etc. Mis alumnos son mayormente ingleses – my students are mostly English PRESENT: meaning now, presently is translated with actualmente or as en la actualidad En la actualidad vivo en España – Presently (at present) I live in Spain The Spanish words actual and actualmente have no relation to the English words actual and actually.

The Spanish for actual and actually are real and realmente Realmente no estoy casada – actually I´m not married presently meaning very soon is pronto. WRONG: the adverb wrong(ly) is usually translated by the word mal: Eso está mal – that is wrong TO BE WRONG is translated by the verb estar conjugated and the adjective equivocado and remember you can also use no tener razón conjugated. Están equivocados (no tienen razón) – they are wrong Now I will give you some work to check your understanding of the past three weeks: Fill in the blanks with the Spanish translation of the word in brackets: Lo siento es demasiado...(late), no te sientes ahí, porque está...(freshly) pintado, mi hermana no sale...(hardly ever), yo...(only) quiero una casa grande, los compro muy...(cheaply) Now, fill in the blanks with the missing words, one word goes in each sentence: recién, apenas, gratis, agotado, tarde, claro, más Llego demasiado...la tienda está cerrada. Los...casados deciden pasar su luna de miel en el Caribe. Me gustan coches rojos...son mis favoritos. ...salgo, no tengo mucho dinero. No puedo ver...a esta distancia, Puedes aparcar...en esta aparcamiento. Trabajo todo la noche, estoy... Next week I will give you the answers and also we will be going back to verbs and learning one of the past tense forms. It is the easiest one to use and can be used more often than the same form in English. All will become clear next week. ¡Que tengas una buena semana! Hasta la próxima

Friday, February 22, 2013

THE LEGACY OF LENNOX

YOU may remember last year I wrote an article about a dog called Lennox.

Lennox belonged to Brooke, an 11-year-old girl from Northern Ireland. Brooke is disabled and because of this, cannot go out and play with friends, so she and her dog became inseparable. Until, that is, Belfast City Council had nothing else better to do than seize Lennox, because they thought he looked like a Pit Bull Terrier. The dog had never put a foot wrong throughout his life and here was dog racism being acted out in its ugliest form. Lennox was kept in disgusting conditions for over two years by Belfast City Council and even after the most passionate of protests from the public, he was put to sleep - a little girls best friend killed, because of his looks! Steve Blake and Clare Hartley were two of the protesters and, outraged by the final decision, decided they were going to do something about the ridiculous and biased dog laws. Out of their dedication and enthusiasm, they started www.worldwidecaninecrusade.com a non profit making organisation, which aims to change the laws of Breed Specific Legislation, so that the heartbreaking case of Lennox can never happen again. On their homepage they make a superb point, stating: In the 70s they blamed the Dobermans. In the 80s they blamed the German Shepherds. In the 90s they blamed the Rottweilers. Today they blame Pit Bulls and other breeds. When will they start to put the blame and responsibilities on the owners? What breed will they discriminate against next? Does your dog measure up?

Breed Specific Legislation in its current form is wrong! Or your dog could be next. There is no such thing as a bad breed! Just bad ownPlease help us be the voice of those who cannot speak ers. for themselves. Join us in our fight to amend BSL in its current form It is unthinkable that in the year 2013, dog laws are so and fight for change around the world. backward and out of date as to be targeting a specific breed of dog. Can you imagine if that happened in the human world, where it was said that you cannot trust one particular type of people from an ethnic background or a particular country! There would be complete outrage. Then how can this ignorance be allowed to exist in the dog world, with people making these daft rules, who know nothing of dog behaviour whatsoever? Steve and Clare are doing fantastic work to change these laws and are looking for people to join their website, as the more members they have, the more powerful their voice will be. It takes seconds to go to the website to become a member - and the difference that can make is great. They also have a Facebook page and you can find them by simply typing in Worldwide Canine Crusade. This all started with a little 11-year-old girl crying herself to sleep each night and hoping that one day she would get to be with her very best friend in all the world, Lennox, her faithful dog. She never did get to be with her dog again and how that has scarred this poor little girl, I can only begin to imagine. I have seen some crazy things happen in the dog world, but nothing as heartless as what Belfast City Council did to this girl’s dog. For the sake of your faithful friend, please sign up to the Worldwide Canine Crusade website, to make sure that we can prevent this atrocity from ever happening again. Thank you.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? The AMERICAN GANG – These seven puppies have recently come into our care as an unwanted litter. They are seven weeks old and are so playful and curious about their new world. We expect them to be medium sized dogs when fully grown and they are currently receiving appropriate vaccinations; there are five girls and two boys. 966 710 047

Jasper born March 2012 small 3-4kilos and has lovely pricked ears, had a very bad start in life is now a very affectionate playful boy, a bit of a lapdog who loves his cuddles! He gets on well with other dogs.For more information about Jasper please telephone the PEPA helpdesk on 650 304 746. www.pepaspain.com

Juno born March 2012 small 5-6kilos, who loves his tummy being rubbed! He gets on well with other dogs.For more information about Juno please telephone the PEPA helpdesk on 650 304 746. www.pepaspain.com

Indiana

Jasper

Juno

India, 18 month old, she is chipped, vaccinated and spayed. India is a very active dog, loves playing with her ball and is great with children and cats. Call: 659 274 573. www.petsinspain.com

India Sancho is a beautiful male pointer about 16 months old .He is very friendly and loves people and other dogs. Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Lady is a Podenco Type dog, about 18 months old. She has a loving nature and likes nothing more than a cuddle and a fuss. She gets on well with other dogs, and cats and loves people. She can be left in the house, where she will just sleep until your return. Ring 616655789 for more information

Lady

Malik is a 2 year old Doberman Cross whose mother Izzie was pregant with 13 puppies when she was rescued. Malik is a lovely natured medium sized dog who would make a great family dog.Please call Yvonne on 630 422 563

Malik

Toby is approx 3 years old, he is a lively, playful dog, chipped and good with other dogs. He has a long coat but needed it shaving off because it was completely matted. Call; 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Toby

Friday, February 22, 2013

LÍNEA DIRECTA BECOMES THE FIRST INSURER TO SELL ITS PRODUCTS VIA MOBILE TELEPHONE Línea Directa has launched its new website for mobiles, which makes it the first insurance company to distribute its products via smartphones. The new site, which uses xhtml technology, is compatible with the iOS, Android and Blackberry operating systems and is capable of offering customers a price in under 3 minutes while asking them no more than ten questions. In addition, unlike other websites, which use “masks” in their mobile versions, Línea Directa’s new quoting system is 100% adapted to smartphone technology. The website will initially be available for offering car insurance quotes and will then be extended to cover the company’s motorbike and home insurance sectors. Linea Directa’s new page for smartphones also includes information on the insurer’s main products and services and offers a click-to-call service which allows users to send a request for the company to call them if they have any questions or if they wish to purchase the policy with the help of an operator. With this new tool, the insurer hopes to record over 150,000 quotes per year and strengthen its position as the leader in Internet and mobile applications. The new quoting system has been designed taking into account aspects such as Internet surfing habits, easy operability, simplicity and user-friendliness for the customer. Línea Directa’s commitment to mobile technology is part of the growing importance of Internet searches on smartphones, due to the fact that in 2015 over half of all organic searches on the Internet will be carried out using these devices.

Call now for more information on 902 123 104

Friday, February 22, 2013

LIFE BEGINS AT 40

I AM a fan of certain pages on the Internet, such as Facebook. For me it is a way to keep up-to-date with family and friends all over the world.

I have of course got family and friends in the UK as well as Canada, the USA and Australia, therefore without the Internet and sites such as Facebook it would be very difficult to keep in touch. Well, it would take a bit of effort and for sure I would lose touch with many people. I like to know what´s going on with friends and family although of course some people post a lot more than others. One of my younger family members posts at least three or four times a day, not only on that site but others as well. She is in her early 20´s and seems a bit lost. She has been to university, left, moved to Scotland and now lives in the Midlands.

She lives with her boyfriend and has a comfortable if slightly difficult life, however she doesn´t seem to know what she wants to do, or, what she can do. Finding a job has eluded her although she has searched. Reading another one of her posts started me thinking about my own youth. I moved away from my home town at 20 and lived in London. I moved all over the capital, at one point being technically homeless; although I never slept on the street I certainly was at one point without a place I could call home. I then joined the police and things went well for 13 years. I lived, I survived. I did enjoy the first few years, however the job changed, I changed, and everything started to bore me. I realised I was working just to live. Just for the mortgage payments, the council tax payments, and all the other outgoings. There was

nothing left at the end of the month, all the bills added up and my wages went with them. That´s when the decision was made to move to Spain. I was in my mid 30´s and just went for it. I decided to buy somewhere small rather than saddle myself with a huge mortgage that I might not be able to repay, and that was it. Mind made up and here I am. Some of you

will be aware that, for me, the past nearly eight years have not been one long bed of roses, but I finally found, when I turned 40 that my life began to make sense. Before then I did love living in Spain and never once regretted my decision; however the jobs I had to choose were out of necessity rather than because I enjoyed them, and then I had to stay in those jobs because

there was nothing else I thought I could do. However, when I was 39 I left the job I had been in and hated for two years and decided that life could be better. It was another big decision, almost as big as deciding to come to Spain in the first place, and for a while, when I could not find work and was struggling not only financially but personally as well, it looked like a huge mistake. However, slowly, and with help, I managed to find my feet, look after my boy and rebuild my life. I now spend my time doing work that I enjoy. I have plenty of time with my son and we spend quality time together. Although what I do now does take up a fair bit of my time I can do a lot of it with him; preparation for classes and writing I can do while he is playing or sleeping. My story I hope will go some way to show the young or not so young who

are struggling with life that there is always a silver lining. Be strong in the decisions you make and one day it will all come together. If you stick with the familiar when you are unhappy nothing will change, and you may be stuck with the familiar forever instead of taking a risk. We know risks don´t always work and maybe I´m just a very lucky person, but after every down I have risen higher and there is no reason why everyone else can´t too. Also, it took me until I was 40 to finally find work I enjoy, so if you don´t know at 20 or 30 what you want it´s not the end of the world. Today´s youngsters will be working until they are most likely 70 so don´t rush into anything. Try a few jobs until you find one you like, look to your strengths and don´t settle for anything less than true happiness. After all, can you imagine doing a job you hate for 50 years?

‘THE BOOK’

Last year, The Courier introduced readers to YVONNE GARNHAM’s unusual insights into expat life in the form of articles like The Visitors and The Bar. Now she has gone one better by writing and publishing her first full-length novel, Consquences. Here, she introduces it in her own unique way. FAIRY Godmother has been very busy during the past 12 months penning, or rather tapping-out, her first novel which she has recently published in e-book format on Amazon. ‘Consequences’ is a fictional family saga beginning in 1981 on a council estate in Watford. When Jack and Nellie Fletcher find out about their teenage daughter Emma’s affair with a married man, she is sent away to stay with her aunt and uncle in Derbyshire for her own safety. Nellie, who is fiercely protective of her family and will do anything to protect her daughter and the family’s reputation, makes a decision that curses this family over the next 30 years. A secret of birth and a tragedy breeds forbidden love that splits the family apart and a twist of fate brings yet another secret. When the secrets are revealed, a hunt for a child to save a child reunites this broken family. Emma’s marriage to Lord Harry CuthbertSmyth is driven by her ambitions for wealth and success. Her serial adultery and a mistake she makes, leaves a scorned lover waiting in the wings to seek revenge on her, risking everything she has sought to achieve.

The story does also feature the Costa Blanca, Brixham in Devon and Los Angeles. Fairy Godmother has had fun writing her book and chose to self-publish as an e-book because it’s almost impossible these days for new writers to get their books published in the traditional way, and thought that she would probably be dead and gone by the time it was published. So, arming herself with lots of self-help books on formatting her book for kindle, she became the writer, editor and proof-reader, a formidable task. Handy Husband got so used to Fairy Godmother disappearing for hours at a time, whilst she sat in front of the pc reading each chapter over and over until she was happy, he almost forgot she was there. Eventually, after being given the thumbs up by her chosen pre-publishing readers, her daughter (well she would, wouldn’t she?), daughter’s best friend, a teacher working in Dubai who read it at the weekends whilst sunning herself on the beach; and her good friend Pat, an ex-teacher, who she had been banging on to about her book for the past year and usually over a couple of wines or three, she was ready to publish. When Fairy Godmother clicked the tab to save and publish, she felt that she was releasing ‘her baby’ that she had nurtured for

Continued on p15

Friday, February 22, 2013

Praying for a Pope of hope… A total of 118 men will shortly travel to Europe’s smallest state to elect arguably the most important man in the world. It’s a tough call to find someone who has to balance politics and diplomacy with top public relations skills, as well as leading 1.2 billion Roman Catholics. That’s quite a task, but the new man will have the comfort in knowing that he’ll be superior in all aspects to the disappointing Pope Benedict, assuming that the College of Cardinals gets it right this time. It’s a sad comment on the eight-year papacy for the former Cardinal Ratzinger that his only radical legacy was to become the first Pope to resign in over 600 years, due to his ill health. Since taking over from the charismatic John Paul II in 2005, Benedict has bumbled along from crisis to crisis, failing to tackle the major sex abuse scandals, making inappropriate remarks about Islam - and his own backyard of the Vatican City hitting financial insolvency. As a good clean-living Polish Catholic boy, you can only imagine the excitement in our household in the autumn of 1978 when a little known Polish cardinal, Karol Woytyla, became the first nonItalian Pope to be chosen in 455 years. Within a month, the Trelinski household had photos of him everywhere, and that included the bathroom! But John Paul was some-

SPARE US ANOTHER BENEDICT!

thing special. He could communicate. He loved football with the odd movie or TV show thrown into the bargain. And he was happy to get his hands dirty in the big political arena, notably in being the standard bearer

Continued from p14 so long out into the big wide world. So, if you want to take a look at The Book, here is the simplest way to do it. Go to Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.es if you prefer and click on kindle e-books. Then in the search box on kindle e-books type in my name, not Fairy Godmother else goodness knows what you will get appearing on your screen, but Yvonne Garnham, then press go and, bingo, my book Consequences will appear before your eyes. Click on the book and you will find my sales page where you can look inside and read the first two chapters on-line or download them. The book is downloadable to kindle and I-Pad or I-Phone via kindle app and to pc’s. On the sales page there is a place where you can download free apps to do this. If you decide to download and read the book and enjoy it, please rate it at the end of the book and put a review on my sales page as

against Communism in Soviet-controlled Eastern Europe, including his native Poland. The multilingual Pope became big box office and world leaders had to take notice. John Paul II had re-written the papal playbook, and it’s been a tough act

this will encourage other readers to decide whether to give it a go (or not). So now Fairy Godmother’s task is completed she can put her feet up, not a chance, now she has the writing bug she has already begun her second novel. ‘Viva la Yoga’ which is a golden-girls chick (or maybe chica) read, featuring five 50-plus ladies of differing backgrounds and personalities who meet at a Yoga class. During a boozy Christmas gettogether they agree to rent a villa in Spain and have a girlie holiday together in the summer. When they arrive at the villa they make a pledge that ‘what goes on in Spain stays in Spain’ but when they begin to reveal their secrets to each other, will they be able to keep their promise? If there is anyone out there who is writing their first novel and wants to contact me to talk about my experience, I can be contacted on fairygodmotherquesada@hotmail.co.uk

to follow. Six months after his death, I got a fascinating insight from an experienced tour guide on a visit to the Vatican. I asked him about the mood with Pope Benedict in charge. He said it was “bad for business” and that all the pilgrims just wanted John Paul merchandise, and that the German Pope “didn’t cut the mustard”. He added that choosing 75-year-old Benedict just

because he was John Paul’s mate wasn’t a good enough excuse to make him the Pontiff. At a crucial time in world history and for the Roman Catholic Church, I hope the cardinals don’t play silly games akin to the Borgias in choosing their new boss. The world, not just the Church, needs a figure to look up to, and whilst the cardinals are filling in their slips of paper, they should also consider a new rule. That would be the mandatory retirement of every future Pope at the age of 80, so that they can see out their last years in dignity, rather than any ailments being displayed in the full gaze of the world media.

The Labour leader, Ed q Miliband, has played a great little hand of political one-upmanship. He’s come up with a pledge that if his party wins the next election, the 10p income tax rate will come back. Forget the fact that we are talking of comparative peanuts being saved for lower-paid workers, but enjoy the politics. Firstly, he criticised Gordon Brown for scrapping the rate, so that’s an ocean of clear blue water between him and his mediocre predecessor. And secondly, he’s promised to fund it by introducing a Mansion Tax - exactly what Vince Cable and the Lib Dems want. What an obvious, but interesting carrot for a new coalition should the election result be a tight one! David Cameron must have blown a gasket when news leaked out of what his Welsh Secretary, David Jones, had to say about gay marriage in a TV interview. Jones said that same-sex couples could not provide a “warm and safe environment” in which to raise children. Labour then had a great time saying that the Tories were still “the nasty party”. With that little gift and the fun over the 10p tax, does Miliband think he can upset the Tories and stop them taking Eastleigh from the Lib Dems in next Thursday’s byelection? I'll stick to my nervy prediction of a Tory gain!

THE PAIN GAIN Continued from Page 7 pasta, rice and, to a large extent, bread. And I don’t butter what little bread I do have. Gone too are the sweet naughty things I love – - replaced by lots of fruit and green veg. It helps that I can buy a huge bag of mandarins/satsumas for two euros and scoff eight in a day with no fear of putting on weight. And I’ve been supplementing portions of fresh salmon, chicken and various cold meats with freshly boiled cauliflower, cabbage, carrots, broccoli and the like. I’ve also continued to eat out but settle for things like steak and salad – and Sunday carveries minus the Yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes. I’ve also found I can handle a Tandoori mixed grill at the Indian Ocean without penalty providing it’s with salad and no sauces. It might sound boring to some, but I feel a lot

healthier for eating what the doctor ordered rather than taking the fast-fried route to the undertakers. So how has she done this week, I suspect a lot of you are asking. Well, my trip to the UK has prevented my official Wednesday weigh-in at the Beauty and Wellness Centre in Pueblo Bravo. Which is just as well because it’s nigh on impossible to stick to a diet when your offspring are hounding you with goodies from the moment you wake every day. Those are my excuses, anyway. It’s better than admitting I just might have put on an ounce or two since leaving Spain six days ago. But I promise I’ll be back on course by my next weigh-in at Pueblo Bravo on March 6. And I am praying that, more than five months after her classmates last saw her, Daisy will finally return to Ormskirk High School soon after that.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Smart New Look, Same Great Atmosphere at The Coopers Arms If you are still looking for a family-friendly bar, with delicious home-cooked food and oodles of atmosphere, then you have yet to stumble into The Coopers Arms The Coopers Arms opened its doors three and a half years ago, offering a real home from home environment to both locals and holidaymakers alike. Located in Urbanisation Dona Pepa, Ciudad Quesada, it is a joint venture for Tim and Doreen Cooper, along with Daughter Chanade, who have transformed the bar and restaurant into one of the most fashionable eateries in the area. The venue has received a complete make-over, with the restaurant being

given a fresh new look in July, and refurbishments to the bar now completing the new image, with its contemporary dĂŠcor and stylish furnishings. Even the toilet facilities have been enhanced to include disabled access and a baby changing area. The bar features 4 plasma screen televisions, showing all live sporting events, on popular channels including Sky Sports and ESPN. The entertainment schedule extends to Darts Night on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Pool Night every Wednesday. Coopers is currently inviting more players to join its teams so please all in to see them if you are interested. Meanwhile, Thursday is Quiz

Night and your opportunity to test your brain matter. It is free to enter and there is a prize available for the winner of every round, and bottle of spirits for the overall winner. Children are also well- catered for at Coopers, enjoying hours of entertainment in the outdoor soft play adventure area, featuring swings, a slide and outdoor toys; allowing you to sit back and enjoy a few refreshments or al fresco dining on the pleasant sun terrace. Plus, Happy Hour continues to put smiles on faces and euros in pockets, between 16:00 and 19:00, Monday to Friday, when pints are 1.80 and all spirits with mixers 2.50 euros, giving you the perfect excuse to stay for another round! Coopers is famous for its traditional British cuisine, delivering all of the flavours of home at affordable prices. In-keeping with tradition, Friday Night is Fish and Chip

night, when diners can enjoy their favourite treat for 6 euros for a mini fish and chips; or 8 euros for a man-size portion, including a soft drink! A delicious carvery is available between 13:00 and 19:00 every Sunday, when diners can choose from a selection of 3 meats plus all the trimmings, accompanied by a choice of 5 starters and 5 desserts. Two courses are priced at only 10 euros, and 12 euros for three courses, including a drink, delivering unbeatable value for money. The restaurant is open from 18:00 weekdays and 13:00 on Sundays, closing Thursday and Sunday evenings. Meanwhile, snacks are served in the bar throughout the day. Private functions for up to 80 people are also catered for within the restaurant. To reserve a table please telephone 966 73 10 16.

Friday, February 22, 2013

PORK RECIPIES PORK WITH SWEET & SOUR ONION SAUCE Ingredients 250g mixed basmati rice and wild rice 600g pork fillets, cut into 4cm-thick slices 2 tbsp coarse black pepper (freshly ground) 2 tbsp olive oil 1 large red onion, halved and sliced 150ml cider vinegar 75ml maple syrup small bunch parsley, chopped

Method

1. Boil the rice in plenty of water, following pack instructions, until cooked. Drain, return to the pot and cover to keep warm. 2. Meanwhile, sprinkle the meat on all sides with the black pepper and some salt. Heat 1 tbsp of the oil in a large frying pan. Sear the meat on both sides until nicely browned. Remove from the pan. 3. Add the remaining oil and the onion to the pan. Cook for 5 mins, then pour in the vinegar and let reduce for 1 min. Stir in the maple syrup, then return the pork to the pan and heat for 5 mins until cooked through. Serve the pork and sauce spooned over the rice and scattered with the parsley.

BBQ PULLED PORK SANDWICH Ingredients

Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar. Remove the pork from the tin and pat dry. Place the roasting tin on the hob, pour in the ketchup mixture and bubble vigorously for 10-15 mins until thick and glossy. Remove the bay leaves and pour the sauce into a food processor; blitz until smooth. Smear half the sauce mixture over the meat. 3. Once the barbecue flames have died down, put on the pork, skin-side down. Cook for 15 mins until nicely charred, then flip over and cook for another 10 mins. The meat will be very tender, so be careful not to lose any between the bars. Alternatively, heat a combined oven-grill to high, place the pork on a baking tray and cook each side for 10-15 mins until nicely charred. 4. Lift the pork onto a large plate or tray. Remove string and peel off the skin. Using 2 forks, shred the meat into chunky pieces. Add 3-4 tbsp of the barbecue sauce to the meat and toss everything well to coat. Pile into rolls and serve with extra sauce and a little coleslaw.

SLOW-BRAISED PORK SHOULDER WITH CIDER & PARSNIPS Ingredients

2 onions, sliced 3 bay leaves 1 tbsp each mustard powder and smoked paprika 1.5-2kg/3lb 5oz-4lb 8oz) pork shoulder, boned with rind attached and tied (ask your butcher to do this) 140g tomato ketchup 4 tbsp red wine vinegar 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 3 tbsp soft dark brown sugar 2 French stick, sliced into rolls, and coleslaw, to serve

2 tbsp olive oil 1kg/2lb 4oz pork shoulder, diced 2 onions, sliced 2 celery sticks, roughly chopped 3 parsnips, cut into chunks 2 bay leaves 1 tbsp plain flour 330ml bottle cider 850ml chicken stock handful parsley, chopped mashed potato and greens, to serve (optional)

1. Heat oven to 160C/140C fan/gas 3. Scatter the onions and bay leaves in the bottom of a large roasting tin. Mix the mustard powder, paprika and 1 tsp ground black pepper with a good pinch of salt. Rub this all over the pork, making sure you rub it into all the crevices. Place the pork, rind-side up, on top of the onions. Pour 200ml water into the bottom of the tin, wrap well with foil and bake for 4 hrs. This can be done up to 2 days ahead - simply cover the tray in foil and chill until ready to barbecue. 2. Light the barbecue. In a bowl, mix the ketchup, vinegar,

1. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Heat the oil in a large lidded flameproof casserole and brown the meat in batches, then set aside. Fry the onions, celery and parsnips with the bay leaves for 10 mins until golden brown. Sprinkle in the flour and give a good stir, then add the pork and any juices back to the dish. 2. Add the cider and stock so that the meat and vegetables are covered. Season and bring to a simmer, then cover and put in the oven for 2 hrs. Serve sprinkled with parsley, with mashed potato and greens, if you like.

Method

That wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t break your piggy bank!

FRUITY PORK STEAKS Ingredients 4 boneless pork loin steaks, trimmed of any fat 2 tsp Chinese five-spice powder 1 tbsp sunflower oil 1 large red onion, cut into thin wedges through the root 4 red apples, cored and cut into eighths 2 tbsp redcurrant jelly 1 tbsp red wine vinegar or cider vinegar 200ml chicken stock

Method

1. Dust the pork steaks with the Chinese five-spice powder. Heat half the oil in a frying pan and fry the pork for about 3 mins on each side until browned and cooked through. Transfer to a plate. 2. Add the remaining oil to the frying pan, reduce the heat slightly, then fry the onion wedges for 2 mins. Add the apples and cook, stirring occasionally, for another 3 mins. 3. Add the redcurrant jelly to the pan, followed by the vinegar and then the stock. Bring to the boil and simmer rapidly, uncovered, for 8-10 mins until the sauce is slightly syrupy and the apples are tender. Gently reheat the pork in the sauce, turning to glaze each side.

PORK SCHNITZEL Ingredients 2 eggs, beaten handful sage leaves, finely chopped 140g dried breadcrumbs 8 boneless pork chops, fat trimmed 4 tbsp butter, melted

Continued on Page 18

Friday, February 22, 2013

Method 1. Tip the sage leaves and breadcrumbs onto a plate, then mix together with a little seasoning. Pour the eggs onto another plate. Pat the pork dry, then coat each chop in the egg mixture, letting any excess drip away. Then dip in the breadcrumbs until well covered. Cook or wrap in cling film or freezer bags and freeze. 2. To cook, defrost completely if frozen. Place the chops on a lightly greased baking sheet and brush with a little of the butter. Cook under a medium grill for 7-10 mins until browned. Then turn over, brush with more butter and cook for a further 7 mins until crisp, browned all over and cooked through. Serve with green beans, fresh peas and some mashed potato mixed with grated cheddar.

CRISP SAGE & PARMESAN PORK WITH RED APPLE COLESLAW Ingredients 4 x 175g pork loin steaks, fat trimmed 2 slices white bread handful of sage leaves 25g Parmesan, finely grated 1 egg, beaten 1 tbsp oil ½ white cabbage, core removed, finely shredded 4 tbsp buttermilk or low-fat natural yogurt 2 red-skinned apples, halved and sliced lemon wedges, to serve (optional)

Method

1. Lay the pork steaks between two sheets of cling film or baking paper and bash with a rolling pin until approx 1cm thick. Whizz the bread in a food processor to make breadcrumbs. Add the sage and pulse a few more times to roughly chop the leaves. Mix in the Parmesan and spread over a large plate. Season with black pepper. 2. One by one, dip each steak into the beaten egg, allow the excess to drip off, then press into the breadcrumb mix on both sides. Set aside. 3. Heat the oil in a large non-stick frying pan and fry the steaks for 3-4 mins on each side until cooked through. Meanwhile, mix the cabbage, buttermilk or yogurt and apple, then season. Serve the steaks with the coleslaw and a lemon wedge, if using, for squeezing over.

PORK MEATBALLS WITH RED PEPPER

Ingredients 450g pork mince 1 small apple, peeled, cored and grated 1 small garlic clove, crushed 25g fresh white breadcrumbs 1 tbsp olive oil 250g spaghetti, to serve FOR THE SAUCE 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 400g can chopped tomatoes 3 roasted red peppers (from a jar), roughly chopped

Method

1. Put the pork mince in a bowl and stir in the apple, garlic, breadcrumbs and some salt and pepper. Shape the mixture into 16 balls, cover and chill for 10 mins. 2. Meanwhile, make the sauce. Heat the oil in a medium saucepan and add the onion. Cook for 2-3 mins, until softened, then tip in the tomatoes and half a can of water. Stir in the peppers along with some salt and pepper. Partially cover and simmer for 15 mins. 3. Heat the oil in a large non-stick frying pan and add the meatballs. Cook for 5-6 mins, stirring occasionally until they are browned all over. Set aside and keep warm. 4. Using a hand-held blender, whizz the tomato sauce until smooth. Carefully add the meatballs to the sauce and simmer for 5 mins, until cooked through. Meanwhile, cook the spaghetti following pack instructions, drain, then divide between serving plates. Top with the meatballs and sauce.

LEMON & ROSEMARY PORK WITH CHICKPEA SALAD Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 2 tsp finely chopped rosemary 4 cloves garlic, crushed juice and zest ½ lemon 4 boneless pork steaks, trimmed of fat 1 red onion, finely sliced 2 tbsp sherry vinegar 2 x 400g/14oz can chickpeas, rinsed and drained 110g bag mixed salad leaves

Method 1. Mix olive oil, rosemary, garlic, lemon juice and zest in a large bowl. Add pork, turn to coat and season well. If you have time marinate in the fridge for 30 mins. 2. Heat a large non-stick frying pan. Lift the pork out of the

marinade, shaking off any excess and reserving the marinade for later. Cook the pork in the pan for 3-4 mins each side or until cooked through. Rest on a plate while you make the salad. 3. Pour the reserved marinade into the pan with the onion. Cook for 1 min over a high heat before adding the vinegar, plus 3 tbsp water. Bubble down for 1 min, until the onion has softened a little and the dressing thickened slightly. Stir through chickpeas, some salt and pepper and any of the resting juices from the pork. Put salad leaves into a bowl, tip in the pan contents and gently toss, before eating immediately with the pork.

SMOKY PORK AND BLACK BEAN TACOS Ingredients 2 tsp vegetable oil ½ red onion, chopped 2 tsp each smoked paprika and ground cumin 500g pack lean pork mince 300ml passata 5 tbsp barbecue sauce 400g can black beans, drained small bunch coriander, chopped 8 taco shells 1 ripe avocado, peeled and sliced ½ iceberg lettuce, finely shredded soured cream, to serve (optional)

Method

1.Heat the oil in a large frying pan, add the onion and cook for 5 mins until softened. Sprinkle over the spices and cook for 1 min more. Add the mince, breaking it up with the back of a wooden spoon, and stir until cooked through. 2. Stir the passata and barbecue sauce into the pan along with 4 tbsp water. Increase the heat and allow the sauce to bubble and reduce until it clings to the meat. Add the beans, season and cook for a further 2 mins, then stir in the coriander. Heat the tacos following pack instructions. 3. Use the pork and bean mix to fill the tacos, top with slices of avocado, shredded iceberg lettuce and a dollop of soured cream, if you like.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Makeup Tips for 40, 50, and Beyond Growing older doesn’t have to be a burden. Aging is a part of life and if we learn to appreciate our bodies and faces we will feel much more comfortable and live a much happier, stress-free life. It seems odd that some younger women are more concerned about how they look and dwell on flaws when they are at their physical best, when some older women, who are happy to be alive, feel good about themselves, accept their bodies and faces for what they are and rejoice in living. If you are worried about getting lines and wrinkles and would like to feel better about how you look, the first step is to change your attitude toward yourself and aging. Start by evaluating the ideas and beliefs you have about aging and where you got them. If you see older women as unattractive then you are going to have a difficult time looking in the mirror at an aging face. Aging is the kind of thing that sneaks up on you and then one day — boom, you’re there. I have met women who are fifty and beyond who are very attractive and exude self-confidence (yes, they have lots of lines and wrinkles and a not-so-perfect body). Their attractiveness comes from feeling good about themselves and knowing they are more than the outside package. Self-confidence crosses all barriers; people notice and see the beauty.

Aging gracefully doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take care of yourself. It means keeping fit, using skin care products regularly, watching your diet and living a balanced life. Develop your own beauty and accentuate your positive qualities. As we age and our faces change, we must change the way we care for our skin and how we wear makeup. Here are a few tips to get you started: 1. Always use a moisturizer. A good moisturizer will help your foundation glide on and will keep your skin more healthy. Choose a

foundation that is the same colour as your skin, is moist, goes on evenly and is one you can see your skin through. Don’t forget to blend around the jaw line. 2. If you have dark spots a good concealer and foundation will hide it. If you have a lot see a dermatologist who can lighten

them. 3. Powder is used to absorb excess oil and reduce shine. If you have been plagued with oily skin all your life you might notice that as you get older your skin is less oily and you have fewer lines than your dry to normal-skin friends. Use powder sparingly since too much will accentuate lines. 4. Use eye shadows sparingly and only use shadows that have a matte finish. Iridescent or shadows with a shimmer attract the light and will make wrinkles more apparent. This is a time when less is more. Use earthy tones that create depth and apply the dark shadow to the outside of the lid making sure the lines move upward. 5. Eyebrows change as we age and become unruly and sparse. Use an eyebrow pencil and feather strokes to fill in the bare spots. Keep your eyebrows a lighter colour than your hair and in good condition. Remember, eyebrows frame the eyes; so to open your eyes and keep them looking bright depends largely on how well you care for your eyebrows.

Want more energy? Here’s how It’s dolly mixture time Time…

Something we seem to have less and less of, leaving us less time to take care of ourselves. Here at Medaesthetics we now have “Dolly Mixtures”, these treatments are short, ten to fifteen minute treatments that don´t break the bank. They leave you looking more youthful and feeling refreshed, ready to face another day. What´s more, they are on special offer: You only need to pay for 5 treatments and receive the 6th one FREE! There are a variety of treatments available including; Mini Manicure, Mini Pedicure, Lash

Tinting, Eyebrow Waxing or Tinting as well as Head, Neck & Shoulder Massages. A sweet treat for little time! A Mini Manicure or Pedicure: a file, polish and cuticle work Eyebrow or Lash Tinting: Define your eyes with colours that complement your skin tone and hair colour …Or choose a relaxing Massage: to ease your aches & pains away The treatments are better booked in advance however it is possible to drop in on the off chance as we sometimes have spaces. Dolly Mixture treatments can be taken in your lunch hour, still leaving time for you to eat.

Want to have a happy day every day? Get your energy levels up and you could soon be floating on cloud nine — everyday! Having more energy makes you feel better, look better and it allows you to enjoy all the things you enjoy doing. Feeling tired and lethargic hampers your good spirits and drags you down. If you find yourself feeling down and drab, why not up your energy level now? We have the quick and easy guide to help you get there and here it is.

Sleep

Sleep plays a vital role in your energy levels. Make sure you get enough — at least 7 to eight hours. Make sleep a priority in your life, and set a time that you go to sleep every night and stick to it.

Feed your body the right way

Nutrition is vital to help keep your energy levels up. After all, what you put in is what you get out. The important thing to remember is to keep your blood sugar levels sustained throughout the day. This can be achieved by consuming small, balanced meals throughout the day.

Get some sunshine

Sunshine makes you feel good. Think about how carefree and energized you feel when you're spending a day in the sun or outdoors on a sunny day. In countries where they have daylight sayings, many women feel as if their day is dragging during the autumn season. This is because there are more hours of darkness than sunshine.

PREPARING FOR SURGERY

It is a well-established fact that the outcome of surgeries depends on how well prepared we are beforehand. Getting ready for surgery goes beyond packing up a small suitcase with a night dress and toiletries. It involves preparing the body and mind for the physical and emotional stress associated with surgery. In most cases, surgeries are elective (voluntary) rather than emergencies (performed within 24 hours), allowing ample time to get ready. The thought of having surgery can be very challenging to the mind causing tremendous emotional stress and tension. In a recently published study of women undergoing breast surgery,

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to machimannu@gmail.com

researchers found that providing just 15 minutes of hypnosis before surgery significantly reduced their need for intra-operative anaesthesia and analgesia (pain relief). Furthermore, the women reported less pain and side-effects after surgery. The study confirmed what has been known for ages, that deep relaxation and meditative practices reduces the strain of pain, which lies mainly in the brain. While you may not have access to hypnotherapy before surgery, the benefits can be reproduced by training the body to relax. A

quick and easy way to do so is by using Audio-VisualEntrainment (AVE) devices. By making use of finely tuned flickering lights and sounds, such devices train the user to recognise and go into the slow brain-wave states associated with deep relaxation. While mediation and hypnotherapy requires the conscious involvement of the participant, AVE device such as MindSpa do not, and achieves the same result in a fraction of the time. The importance of diet before surgery cannot be over-emphasized, as malnu-

trition has a negative effect on the outcome of surgery. Studies have shown that patients who were better nourished before surgery had a lower incidence of post-operative inflammation, had a shorter stay in hospitals and required less intensive post-operative care. Dietary restriction and even fasting is often required before certain types of surgery, but studies have found this to decrease the immune system of the patients. What is advisable in such cases is to use specially prepared nutritional formulas for extra calories and proteins.

Nutritional formulas have been found to improve the recovery time after caesarean sections and abdominal surgeries. In patients who cannot eat solid food, highly fortified liquid diets containing all necessary nutrients should be taken. Many prescribed medications and some supplements should be avoided before surgeries. If you are taking supplements, it may be best to check those with your surgeon. In general medications that may cause bleeding such as aspirin, NSAIDs, Vitamin E, ginseng and gingko should be avoided. Glutamine is one of the most abundant amino acids in the body, and supports the immune system and intes-

tines. Studies have shown that taking glutamine enriched formulas reduced hospital stays after surgery, increased immune activity and reduced post-surgery infections. Taking Arginine, another type of amino acid (protein) before and after surgery is known to improve wound healing, and the outcome of cardiovascular and colon surgeries. Vitamin A plays an important role in wound healing, and its deficiency may contribute to poor recovery after surgery. Vitamin A is particularly beneficial to those taking corticosteroids medications after surgery; as such drugs are known to slow down wound healing. Trial studies have shown that a combination of Vitamins B1, B6 and B 12 before and after surgery prevented post-surgical reductions in immune function. For A Full Body Diagnostic Scan, Call 965071745

Friday, February 22, 2013

Bio Resonance: Disease diagnosis with a difference Q

I have been reading your articles in the Courier newspaper, and I am very interested in having a diagnostic scan. I have looked at your website, and read that it is non-invasive. Please explain the science behind it.

The science behind the full body diagnostic scan performed using Sensitiv Imago technology is - Bio Resonance Theory. In summary, this theory is based on the premise that every living organism and tissue has a unique electromagnetic signature that is measureable, just as every human being has a unique finger print that can be recorded. This means that diseases, infections, deficiencies and dysfunctions can be identified by measuring frequencies and comparing them against the expected frequencies. For example, the frequency of a healthy heart is 700-800 Hz, but this increases to 1500 Hz with Angina Pectoris. Using resonance for medical diagnostics is not a new phenomenon. Resonance is simply vibration in tandem. This is similar to what happens when you are close to loud music, and hear the vibration in your chest. MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) uses magnetic resonance to create images of the internal organs and structures of the body. Likewise, the full body diagnostics we carry out using Sensitiv Imago measures the electromagnetic waves from the body to access the historical, current and potential health status of a person. It is like a barcode reader

in that it scans the electromagnetic energies of the person being diagnosed and provides anatomical images on a computer screen. The device allows for a deep and precise investigation of a person’s electromagnetic system based on the bio-resonance theory. The Diagnostic scan is non-invasive, which means we do not break the skin or invade the body in any form. It is completely painless. Electromagnetic waves from the body are measured using a hand electrode, a laser optical scanner and a head set. The information gathered is compared to the expected frequencies, and also to information collected and analysed from over 100 000 patients and 1 000 diseases. Just as living cells and organisms have unique frequencies, diseases also have distinct signatures. By using the most advanced diagnostic method know today – NLS (Nonlinear Analysis), it is possible to detect the slightest changes in the body. The diagnostics we perform allows not just for the detection of a

disease, but its cause and history. It is also possible to identify allergens, contaminants, toxins, and microorganisms (bacteria, viruses, parasites) as well as personal genetic predispositions and risks, and to perform a blood test. Many people wonder how it is possible to perform a blood test without needles. Actually the science behind it is not new. In the fields of chemistry and physics, scientists have known for decades that every substance has a unique electromagnetic frequency or signature. This is how we know that the sun is made of elements such as hydrogen, helium, carbon and magnesium. No one has ever been to the sun to test for them. Likewise it is possible to detect magnesium, iron, vitamins, enzymes and other minerals in the body without penetrating the skin. Identifying the frequency signatures of nutrients in the body has been an on-going project since the early eighties, and future developments will only increase the accuracy of identification. This science means that we are able to identify disease processes with an impressive accuracy of 96%, and this is when compared to other diagnostic systems available today. I have fibromyalgia, and a friend told me malic acid helps relieve the pain. Is it true?

Q A

Malic acid is a naturally occurring compound that plays a vital role in the production of energy from food. It is found in many fruits and vegetables, but the richest

source is apples, which is why malic acid is sometimes called ‘apple acid’. One study done found that a combination of magnesium and malic acid lessened myalgia (muscle pain) in people with fibromyalgia. The participants in the trial were given 300 mgs of Magnesium and 1,200 - 2,400 mgs of Malic acid for eight weeks. However the research remains inconclusive.

Q A

What are the benefits of Artichoke?

Artichoke is a herb native to the Mediterranean. Although the fleshy flower is eaten as a delicacy, it is the leaves that contain unique compounds that give it medicinal properties. Artichoke extracts promote the secretion of bile which is a greenish fluid made in the liver and stored in the gallbladder for the digestion of fats and oils. Artichoke extracts also help improve the symptoms related to irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and hangover such as bloating, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, and constipation. Much of this benefit is related to improved bile secretion. Artichoke also contains a substance known as ‘inulin’, a prebiotic fibre that stimulates the growth of ‘friendly’ probiotic bacteria in the bowel. There is also growing evidence that suggests artichoke extracts lowers ‘bad’ LDL- cholesterol levels and triglyceride levels while increasing ‘good’ HDL- cholesterol. Studies have shown that taking artichoke extracts for 6-12 weeks lowered cholesterol levels significantly.

Friday, February 22, 2013

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Margaret was having problems with the quality ADVICE: Anne had some fonts missing since she got a of her camera image in Skype new laptop.

For a few years I have been using Windows Messenger Live very successfully, but have since changed to Skype as I understand that WML will not be available for much longer. I am receiving clear pictures from contacts who ring me but I am told by these contacts that my picture to them is very poor quality. Also the small photo of myself which appears in the bottom right hand corner of my screen is just a pattern of coloured lines. Do you think that this is the reason that my picture is not clear? I have sent feedback to Skype on numerous occasions but have not received a reply from them. Please can you help me? Best wishes Margaret

Hi Margaret, the first thing to check is that you have your webcam set up correctly in Skype, to do this click on Tools within Skype and then select Options and then Video Settings, the webcam should activate and you should see a yourself on the screen. Does the picture look good? If so then it’s set up correctly, if not then click on Webcam Settings and have a look at the settings within, you should be able to sort out the quality issues in there, if not then email me back and I will do my best to help you.

ADVICE: Janet was having problems with Java.

Hi there, I spoke to Richard at market on Saturday, regarding my fonts that have gone astray, since getting my new laptop. My favourites I used for card making were, Lucinda handwriting, Lucinda calligraphy, Bernhard Fashion (I think that’s how it was spelt). Anyhow could you wave your magic wand and see if you can help me find them. Many thanks, from Anne.

Hi Anne, there are a number of free font websites on the Internet, a quick Google search will direct you to a number of them. With regards to Lucinda Handwriting, if you go to www.fontpalace.com/fontdetails/TR+Lucida+Handwriting+Italic you can download the Lucinda Handwriting font by clicking on the “download for Windows” button. Once downloaded double click on the font in your downloads folder and click on the “install” button – if you are using Windows 7 (instructions for other operating system will vary). Once installed, launch the application that you need to use the font in (or restart it if you already have it open) and you will find the font available for use. Using this method you should be able to find a whole load of new fonts to play with.

ADVICE: Uffe wanted to know if he could recover files he had accidentally deleted in DropBox

Q A

Hi Richard, sorry to bother you with one short question: Can I retrieve a file accidently deleted from Dropbox? Kind regards, Uffe

Hi Uffe, yep, you can do that, just follow the instructions here… https://www.dropbox.com/help/296/en

Hi Richard wonder if you can help, I updated Java 7, update 11 but when I went to verify a grey screen says I need a plugin to view which Java is downloaded, when I try to install missing plugin it tries but fails. However in my control panel Java 7 update 11 is listed. Any thoughts? Margaret Hi Janet, Java (which is American slang for coffee by the way) is browser specific, that is to say that you need to install a Java plugin for each web browser you are using. So it sounds to me like you have Java installed but you are missing the Java plug in for your particular web browser (Internet Explorer, Google Chrome or Firefox for example). It also sounds like, in your case, that the plug in isn’t working although Java is installed in Windows. If you send me the browser type that you are using I will try to help you find out why it’s not working.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, February 22, 2013

WANTED – A POPE WITH REAL INSIGHT

THE elaborate process of choosing a new Pope has started, and one of the top runners is Cardinal Peter Turkson, of Ghana, who is among the leading contenders to be the first black Pope. But his main claim to fame is the remarks he made when questioned about the spread of AIDS and HIV in Africa, and whether he thought the distribution and use of condoms might help reduce the epidemic, which is still taking thousands of lives and bringing misery to millions. His response was the standard one from the church - that the only answer was abstinence until marriage. Yes, on the surface he is right, but it's the human race we're talking about, with all it's temptations. And let's face it, if priests can't keep it in their trousers and resort to sexually abusing children; having affairs with members of the congregation and fathering children when they are supposed to be celebate, there's is little chance of Africans not turning to sex outside marriage. After all, people who have very little in their lives will inevitably turn to sex as the one thing that gives them some pleasure. And the fact that the sex act will lead to another unwanted child is the last thing on their minds. We need modern thinking and a big dose of realism in churches, but sadly all churches attract more than their fair share of people obsessed with religion and with it all the dogma passed down the generations, blinkered to any kind of change. I have been told of people whose whole day is taken up with requests to God for guidance as to how their waking hours should be shaped. Presumably, if they don't hear the word of God, they stay in bed! Other examples are fasting to the point of becoming seriously ill, or climbing rocky hillside steps on their knees in penance and ripping their skin to shreds are other examples. Let’s look at how easy it is for someone who starts with a hobby or liking for something to turn it into an obsession. And most of us are obsessed about something or other.

The obvious obsessions (we call it addiction) are alcohol, tobacco, drugs, overeating leading to obesity, starving leading to anorexia, and gambling, all of which take people over and destroys lives. But have you considered that many other things are addictions or obsessions too, when they get out of control? How many of you long for the next football match on the telly, and have to drop everything to watch the game? How many can't wait for the next gripping instalment of Corrie, EastEnders and Emmerdale and have to work your life around the soaps? Many have an obsessive compulsion to continually clean their homes. And how many women are so obsessed with their looks they have umpteen facelifts, botox and countless other procedures which postpone the inevitable only for a very short time, cost a fortune and play into the hands of medics better employed actually saving lives? Are you a hypochondriac? My father had a cupboard full of pills, medicines and potions, herbal remedies and stuff, and would take one pill and another to counteract the bad effect of the first, and so on. He refused to accept that given the chance, his body would look after itself if he stopped taking all the stuff he was obsessed. I haven't yet mentioned sex, which can be one of the worst obsessions when allowed to get out of control. Where is all this leading? It demonstrates how easy it is for people to turn an interest or hobby into an addiction or obsession. It's something that should be addressed a lot more - by politicians, the medical world and certainly the church and society in general, because the sad fact is that all these obsessions are eating away at the fabric of society. I hope the incoming Pope will be a much younger person than is usually the case and has an insight into what is going wrong with society and can lead people to a more fulfilled life. He will call obsession the work of the Devil, but there are increasing failings by

both believers and nonbelievers alike. And a good start for him would be to shed some of the religious obsessions, like refusal to accept that the use of condoms is not in humanity's best interests, and in fact should be encouraged. I don't recall reading anywhere in the Bible that Jesus forbade the use of condoms. Because I for one am sickened by the never ending appeals by charities to save children from starving. The use of condoms and, obviously, the pill, would undoubtedly reduce the number of children born to die a horrible death through starvation. It's humanity's and the church's greatest challenge by far. A round of applause please to a former investment manager, Les Halpin, who, at the age of 55, is smitten with Motor Neurone Disease. He has offered himself for research into new unlicensed drugs - not so much to help himself, but to help future generations in the search for a cure or relief from the effects of the disease. He wants the terminally ill to be able to trial unlicensed drugs in return for giving up the right to sue pharmaceutical companies. Mr Halpin previously led a full life, enjoying skiing and flying, but is now confined to a wheelchair. Brave Mr Halpin said he was prepared to take the risk of trialling an unlicensed drug. He said: I think many other MND patients would be. "Obviously there are risks, but for most people in this situation they do a lot of research into the subject and they work in conjunction with their doctors and they aren't going to do anything too out of the ordinary.

"I will be dead anytime between this afternoon and a few years off. I already can't move my arms and my legs and I have trouble breathing. Before I had the condition, I would have agreed with them. But now my thinking is that there's so much more we can do. "Let's try anything - what have we got to lose?' On average it takes £1 billion and 10 years to bring a new drug to market – some-

thing so prohibitive that more than 90 per cent of drugs do not make it through the system. Sir Peter Lachmann, an expert immunologist from Cambridge University, agreed there is a need for a change in the law. "The present drug regulations make it impossible for smaller drug companies to take drugs to the market. It can only be done by larger pharmaceutical companies." Mr Halpin has now launched a petition, which will be handed to the Department of Health, calling for experimental drugs to be available in return for terminally ill patients giving up the right to sue if they experience side effects. Now I have heard everything. A condom manufacturer has a size code identification on its

boxes so it can identify which size condoms goes where. And guess what? They have published a list of places in the UK where fellas are buying the largest and widest condoms. Have they nothing better to do, I ask? I suppose some of you might like to know the cities with the longest and widest manhoods - so here's the top ten! LENGTH - 1: Stoke-onTrent; 2: Leeds; 3: Manchester; 4: Birmingham; 5: Liverpool; 6: Cardiff; 7: Newcastle; 8: Chelmsford; 9: Oxford; 10: Norwich. GIRTH -1: Bristol; 2: Oxford; 3: Leeds; 4: Newcastle; 5: Nottingham; 6: Cardiff; 7: Birmingham; 8: Gloucester; 9: Coventry; 10: Manchester So now you know this piece of totally useless information!

Friday, February 22, 2013

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Optica Llamusi: Looking After Your Eye Sight Geronimo has owned Optica Llamusi in La Zenia for 14 years. He speaks fluent English, French and German. Geronimo invites you to call in for an informative discussion with himself and his staff, offering free eye sight tests and free checks for glaucoma or evacular degeneration, within the very relaxed and welcoming atmosphere. A great selection of frames, contact lenses and sun glasses are available in store, including designer brands Swarovski, Tagheuer, Gucci, Chanel, D&G and Bvlgari. Optica Llamusi also offers free hearing tests and anyone purchasing a hearing aid will receive a 50% discount off their next purchase!

Three years of Fine Dining at Vialli’s Vialli’s Restaurant can be found next to La Zenia Boulevard Shopping Centre. The owner Vicky has worked in the Orhiuela Costa area for 12 years. After 10 years of being employed, in June 2010 she decided to take the plunge and work for herself, hence why Vialli's has been under new ownership for nearly 3 years. As well has being a qualified chef, Vicky has 25 years of experience in the Hotel and Catering Industry. Vialli's will be approaching its third Anniversary in June and Vicky is pleased with the progress that she has made. After working long and hard Vicky has turned Vialli's into a restaurant that has achieved a good reputation and a vast regular clientele. Now taking bookings for Mother’s Day, March 10, offering 3 courses which is still at the great price of 9.95 euros including a half bottle of wine per person. Also cater for Weddings, Private Functions, Social Groups and Golf Society's. Open Lunch Mon-Sat 12-3.45pm Evenings Fri & Sat from 6.30pm Sunday from 1pm to 9pm.

Expanding Services at Comasky and Spanish Solutions We are delighted to announce the opening of a new joint office between Comaskey Properties (Sales and Rentals) and Spanish Solutions on Friday March 1. There will be very few offices on the whole of the Costa Blanca, if not in the whole of Spain, providing this variety of services relating to living or owning a property here, from property sales, renting, tax, utilities, Notary services, legal matters to currency exchange and car issues. We will be retaining both companies´ existing offices by the La Zenia Commercial Centre, so we look forward to welcoming you at any of our offices. We are located next door to the Iberdrola office and Lloyd´s Bank and down from the Bassus bar by the La Zenia Boulevard roundabout. Calle Malaquita 1, Local B-1, C.C. Costa Zenia, La Zenia, 03189 Orihuela Costa, Alicante www.comaskey.com ww.spanishsolutions.net tel: 966773453 (CP) or 966761741 (SS)

For A Smarter Move, Think Smart Sell Estate Agents

Smartsell Estate Agents located at Via Park II, Playa Flamenca Is a family business, run by husband and wife team, Rachel and Craig Bellamy for 8 years. Many buyers from Northern Europe are currently in search of new homes, and we urgently need properties for these buyers, in Playa Flamenca, La Zenia, La Florida, Cabo Roig, and Punta Prima. So if your property has been on the market with another agent for a long time, why not try us as we are the smart solution to selling your property! Smartsell clients can expect excellent levels of customer service, and we have an extensive selection of properties to suit all requirements. Every day we help clients achieve their relocation dreams and find a permanent residence in Spain, as well as assisting those seeking the perfect holiday home for all the family to enjoy. As a Smartsell client, we can introduce you to a well respected, efficient English speaking solicitor, mortgage advisor and currency exchange company. The Smartsell team all reside in Spain and as a result we have a wealth of knowledge that can be utilized in assisting our clients.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Focus on LA ZENIA All Smiles At Happy Teeth Happy Teeth Swedish Dental Clinic has now been in business in La Zenia for 8 years. Our Swedish team of two Dentists, Anders Sundin and Linus Klaive, along with the two Hygienists, Lena and Annette, offers high quality dental treatment at fair prices. We are famous for turning your bad experiences into a good one! The multilingual team of staff speak

British,

Swedish,

Finnish,

Norwegian,

Spanish and German languages .

For Tattoos That Make Head’s Turn, Call Manchester Steve! Manchester Steve has been a tattoo artist for more than 20 years, and has been here in Spain for 8 years. Previously at Flamenca Beach he can now be found in La Zenia, within Sensation Hairdressers, above Mercadona, a short walk from the new La Zenia Boulevard Shopping Centre. Lots of people are now making contact with him through his Facebook Page, and sending him images of the tattoo which they want. Steve then gets the tattoo ready, so that his customers can combine getting their tattoo with a day’s shopping at the new centre. Contact Steve through Facebook Page “Manchester Steve” or phone him on 634 141 331 to make an appointment.

All The Comforts of Home at Your Fingertips! Gill took over the running of Open All Hours in December, having lived in Spain since 2002, and been a former employee of the store. She is joined by Dave whose nickname is “Arky” from the famous TV sitcom “Open All Hours”. The store stocks a wide range of all British and Irish brands, including those which are difficult to obtain in Spain, such as Soda bread, white pudding and the Olde English traditional jars of sweets. They have a wide selection of products from top UK brands and all at very competitive prices. Open All Hours also stocks greetings cards, wines and spirits, as well as being an authorised dealer of Totally Wicked E Cigarettes and stockist of Costa Blanca Rock. A reliable courier service is available to take care of all of your international postal needs. Weekly specials are available every Monday, and if they don’t have what you are looking for, they will always do their best to get it for you.

Taking Dining To A New Dimension at Hi Five Our aim is to offer a fresh and innovative approach to eating out, in a relaxed, modern environment. We have tried to capture the essence of the world’s major culinary countries, and brought them together in our menus, be it light lunches, elaborate evening dishes, or our daily specials from nationalities as varied as Australia, Mexico, North Africa and Europe. We pride ourselves in preparing dishes using fresh ingredients, cooked to order. Special requests can be accommodated with prior notice. For those looking to simply relax with a fresh beer, wine or cocktail, our lounge area and vast terrace awaits… Opening Hours are 11am to 11pm every day, 11am to 5pm Sundays. For reservations, please call 965 063 400, or 693 969 839 mornings, and 627 775 149 evenings.

Friday,December February 22, Friday, 16,2013 2011

Spring action for Flamenco stars

Torry trio a splash hit in Valencia TORREVIEJA swimmers Alexandra Amat, Zoe Connolly and Elian Del Rio Castillo did their club proud at the Alevin Winter Regional Championships in Valencia on Saturday. The trio had qualified to participate against 232 other 12 and 13 year olds from 36 clubs throughout the Valencian Region and competed in two races each. With the support of their coach, Juanma Martinez, the team started well with Elian knocking 4 seconds off his previous 100m freestyle personal best to finish 15th out of 61 in 1:11:25. Alexandra then recorded a new PB of 1:21:21 for 21st position out of 55

THE non-profit Cultural Association Flamenco For All has won the backing of Eroski San Javier for the work it is doing in integrating many different nationalities. The group use Flamenco dance to introduce foreigners living in this area to the beauty of Spanish culture. Raquel Peña, the President and Director, has been honoured with numerous awards for her work in this field, and was chosen Woman of the Year by the Orihuela Town Hall 2010.. The Flamenco For All dance group is having a very busy spring season with many performances, including shows for

the Pink Ladies AECC, The Torrevieja Stroke Group and HAH. Reservations are now being accepted for their next performance at Torrevieja Municipal Theatre on May 19 at 5.30pm, tickets €10 and €15. The elected charity for a €2,500 donation is AFA (Friends of Alzheimers,Torreveija) and the programme will include many new choreographies by Raquel Peña with live musicians and a new luxury wardrobe by one of Spain’s leading designers. For reservations and information please call 630 689 431 or e-mail: info@flamencoforall.com

THE FRIGHTENING FACE OF DEMENTIA

participants, And Zoe stormed home sixth in the 100 m Butterfly with a time of 1:26:67 – one second quicker than her previous best. In the afternoon 100m Breaststroke event. Elian worked hard for his 19th position out of 40 competitors, while Alexandra and Zoe finished 22nd and fifth in the 100m Backstroke, both with personal best times. For more information regarding Torrevieja Swimming Club please contact Rosa - 665454126 or President Felipe on 609418776 or e-mail info@clubnataciontorrevieja.com Pictured from left are Juanma, Alexandra, Zoe and Eli

EURO Leisure Club President Pauline made a donation of €500 on behalf of members to Judy Ferris and Jennie Mutter of the Alzeimer’s Association (AFA). Speaking at a members meeting at the Cooper’s Arms in Quesada, Judy said there were three things we all find we need support with as we get older. These are social contact and friendship, which can be found at Euro Leisure; the after effects of a Stroke, which they can access from the Stroke Support Group; and perhaps the most frightening and as yet not fully understood - that of dementia, Alzeimer’s Disease being the most common. Donations such as this one, she said, are very much needed and appreciated as both organisations depend totally on public funding to enable the continuation of the professional care and support they give to so many people.

Lloyds bank on the Legion THE Royal Britiah Legion’s Poppy Appeal raised more than €171,000 in District North Spain last year. It was a tremendous result which brought together not only the Spanish group’s 20 Branches but also many local churches, organisations and businesses whose combined support is vital to the continuing welfare work of the Legion in Spain. Last week saw the presentation of a cheque for €140.86 for the Poppy Appeal raised in the District branches of Lloyds Bank International

Paul Lister, LBI’s Regional Sales Director East, said: “We are always delighted to support the RBL Poppy Appeal throughout the Costa Blanca and the Costa Calida where we have several branches. The RBL do an excellent job all year round and the funds they raise help the ex servicemen and families of ex servicemen in many parts of Europe.” If any other businesses would like to lend their support, then please visit www.britishlegion.org.uk/counties/spainnorth.

PUPILS of IES Carrus in Elche have made several educational visits Easy Horse Care Rescue centre in Rojales recently. They enjoyed meeting Cruz, Dexter, Dolores and Co - some of the youngsters even getting to work mucking out and feeding the horses. If your school, class or club wish to visit the rescue centre, please contact Sue on 652021980 or email rescue@easyhorsecare.net Facilities can be provided for packed lunches and a snack bar is also available. The centre's message is: "All we ask in return is that the children enjoy their day and hopefully take back with them a new love and respect for the animals around them''

Friday, February 22, 2013

ON A FREEWHEEL BACK TO SCHOOL By DEREK FLETCHER VALENTINES day out for the Freewheelers was a step back to their childhood days when they visited the Centro de Cultura Tradicional Museo Escola de Pusol. The Centre for Traditional Culture School Museum was founded in 1969 as a school of the environment to study the crafts and traditions of the Elche Compo.

Leaving La Marina Playa for the short drive to the outskirts of Elche, we were greeted by shouts from a man 20 foot up a palm tree he was trimming. A quick brief by the lady in charge before the first part of the tour – a series of alcoves depicting the various

rooms in a small country dwelling complete with household items commonly in use at that period. In front of each room stood three pupils from the school who explained the rooms and the items in them. After thanking the children, who did a sterling job, we moved onto the outdoor life and the type of farming of the times and the implements used, also a combined blacksmith and carpenter’s workshop for building farm horse-drawn carts. Round the corner into the shopping area and the display of what was on the shelves almost a century ago. Even the barber’s shop is there. Oft was heard the phrase "I remember them" or "We had one of those". I remember during my last year at school going to a printers that were using similar type set and blocks to the ones on display. If you have never been it really is a worthwhile nostalgic visit. On to Fawlty Towers and another good value lunch washed down with ample wine and so ended another excellent day out enjoyed by all. Thank you Richard, where next?

MARIA’S EARLY WARMING FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

WOODY ALL SET TO PECK ‘EM IN

The “Pure Rock n Roll” Show at Restaurante Los Rosales in Guardamar on Tuesday February 26 will feature the lively and talented Woody and the Peckers. Gary “Woody” Woodward will also be leading the band with the best Buddy Holly Tribute in Spain. Age Concern will hold their own raffle as the night’s invited charity. Tickets for show and meal are €10.Call 606192691 or 697501992. Email losrosalesshows@gmail.com

A special night of joy and Cyn q

THE Black and White Sixties Night hosted by Anita and Dave Patrick of Quesada Country Club raised over €300 for the Children's Home in Elche. Eighty people sat down to a very special three-course meal, among them Cyn Chew, who was 80 herself that day. She celebrated her birthday in style - 26 of the guests being her friends. The Fantastic Band PDQ added to the fun with a great competition to guess who wrote and first recorded "Every Time You Walk In The Room"..

MARIA WILSON and The Pink Ladies held their third St. Valentine's Ball a day early - but still managed to attract 172 people to the most successful party yet. The February 13 event took place at Las Ramblas Golf Club and the evening raised over €1,900 for AECC, mainly to be used for its cancer-screening programme. Entertainment for the evening was provided by Dan Davy, ‘Neil Diamond’ aka Geoff Watts, and table magician Grahame Mykal, who manages to baffle people with his

tricks just inches away from their eyes. The raffle was a great success, raising over €1,000 on the evening, thanks to amazing generosity from both ticket buyers and also the local businesses and individuals that provided the great prizes. Maria wishes to thank everyone concerned with the fundraising event, The Pink Ladies; the entertainers; the raffleprize donors and all those who attended and made the event so successful.

COME and enjoy a fun filled night of staff and camper antics and enjoy the cabaret shows by the splendid Craplin Debonaires. To be performed at the Casa de Cultura, San Miguel on Friday 15th, Saturday 16th and Sunday 17th March. Tickets can be purchased at Bargain Books, San Miguel, The Panderia Campoverde Tuesday and Thursday mornings, Portobello Sunday 1pm - 3pm or phone Colin on 96 677 4127.

"PANACHE" are now looking to increase their dance troupe, so ladies if you have experience in, Tap, Modern, Comedy or Jazz Dancing come along to the group’s weekly rehearsals, have fun and learn new and exciting routines.

Friday, February 22, 2013

UK HEADLINES

I’LL HACK ‘EM TO DEATH!

Clarkson at Twits end as spammers link his account to weight-loss site The Independant HE'S not usually one to mince his words, and when Jeremy Clarkson's Twitter account was hacked by spammers advertising weight-loss techniques the controversial star's response was typically belligerent. Clarkson, 52, had his Twitter account hacked on Wednesday morning by spammers who proceeded to advertise ‘the fastest way to lose body fat in two weeks’ to his 1.3 million followers on the microblogging site. Seven hours later it appeared Clarkson had neither forgiven nor forgotten as he vowed to exact revenge: ‘I have been hacked by spammers. Luckily I have acquired a

special set of skills over many years. I will find them. And I will kill them.’ The controversial presenter's account was first hacked at 11:13am yester-

day and posted links to an Acai Berry diet solution site. Acai Berry diets are a staple of bogus news sites and the 'fastest way to lose body fat in two weeks’ is a familiar

sign that an account has been hacked. It would appear that Clarkson either had his password guessed, hacked or phished by scammers - or that a third party application accessed and posted from his account. In a typically robust response Clarkson vowed: 'Unlike some people, I WILL find who hacked my account. And I will visit them'. Despite the threatening language Clarkson is unlikely to be able to exact his revenge given the prevalence of online Twitter scams. Yesterday, the fast food company 'Burger King' also suffered the embarrassment of being hacked. The official account of the global chain was suspended yesterday after hackers changed the company's twitter picture to a McDonalds logo just after 5pm last

Emeli and Ben are a Brit of all right SINGERS Emeli Sandé and Ben Howard shared the spoils at the Brit Awards 2013, bagging two prizes each at the O2 Arena bash. Sunderland star Emeli – who became a household name after performing at the Opening and Closing ceremonies of the London Olympics – picked up the British Album Of The Year gong for Our Version Of Events, beating Paloma Faith, Alt-J, Mumford & Sons and Plan B. She also took the British Female Solo Artist award, triumphing over fellow nominees Bat For Lashes, Jessie Ware, Paloma Faith and the late Amy Winehouse.

The Sun Londoner Ben won British Breakthrough Act – beating Alt-J, Jake Bugg, Jessie Ware and Rita Ora – and British Male Solo Artist. Calvin Harris, Olly Murs, Richard Hawley and Plan B were the contenders who lost in that category. Adele received another accolade, scooping British Single for her James Bond theme tune Skyfall. Fresh from their Grammys glory, Mumford & Sons were presented with the British Group trophy – beating One Direction, Alt-J, Muse and The xx. The band won the prestigious Album Of The Year award for

their latest effort Babel at the Los Angeles ceremony last month. Despite losing out in the British Group category, One Direction won the first ever Global Success Award – in recognition of their world-conquering achievements. Lana Del Rey was named International Female Solo Artist, meaning Taylor Swift and Rihanna left the prize-giving empty handed. Coldplay won for British Live Act, The Black Keys bagged International Group and R&B sensation Frank Ocean picked up the International Male Solo Artist accolade

night. The hackers then posted a message on the Twitter feed, which read: "Just got sold to McDonalds because the whopper flopped." Subsequent posts on the account included racist language, references to drug use and foul language. A spokesman for Burger King said: "It has come to our attention that the Twitter account of BURGER

KING(R) brand has been hacked. "We have worked directly with administrators to suspend the account until we are able to re-establish our legitimate site and authentic postings. "We apologise to our followers who have been receiving erroneous tweets about other members of our industry and additional inappropriate topics.

Stress balls don’t work A MAN who packed stress balls for a living punched his boss in the face and threatened colleagues when he was sacked, a court heard. Darren Baldwin, 44, hit the warehouse manager who dismissed him and then produced two knives when other staff tried to step in. Blackpool magistrates on Wednesday heard: “His victim was in fear of his life. He shouted threats like: ‘I will cut you up’.” Tracy Yates, prosecuting, said that when novelty firm SPS said Baldwin was losing his temporary job, the manager who passed on the bad news was punched in the face. She said: “Four or five other staff arrived on the scene where the victim Philip Dilworth had been the victim on an unprovoked attack. “Baldwin then produced two knives and Mr Dilworth was in fear of his life. “Baldwin showed the knives to his colleague worker and started to shout threats like ‘I will cut you up’.” The court heard that Baldwin, from Blackpool, left the trading estate where the company was based and was later arrested. Baldwin, of Blackpool, admitted affray and assault and was bailed for pre-sentence reports. The company in Blackpool sells novelty products including stress balls.

Friday, February 22, 2013

UK HEADLINES

RAGE OF THE TRAIN! Daily Mail

A nine-year-old girl was left on her own on a railway platform while her mother disappeared down the track after a door broke on the train they were getting on. Stephanie Richards claims that her daughter, Eve, became stranded at Gowerton Railway Station in South Wales when the conductor refused to stop the train and go back. She said they were on their way home from a family day out in Cardiff and were using different doors to get off the train because a food trolley had blocked the aisle between them. Eve got off the train but her mother was stuck on the train until the next stop seven miles away in Llanelli. Mrs Richards pulled the emergency brake to stop the train but claimed she was told that her missing daughter was not a 'legitimate' reason for her to pull the cord. She said: 'I eventually got an answer from the conductor and she asked me why I'd pulled the brake. 'I said that I had to go back to Gowerton because my nine-year-old child was on her own, and she then told me she couldn't, and that she'd have to explain to her boss why the emergency brake was pulled. 'Eve and I got the train from Cardiff to

said: 'We apologise for any inconvenience or upset caused to Miss Richards and her daughter. 'Our customer services department has received her complaint, and is carrying out a full investigation in line with our complaints procedure and will respond to Miss Richards directly.'

Gowerton, and my daughter saw a friend sitting a few rows behind us, so went to talk to them. 'As we were approaching Gowerton, I said to my daughter to come to me so we could get off together. 'I asked if the man could move the trolley so she could come through, and he said 'no', and told us we'd have to use different exits. 'We used different exits, and as we were pressing the buttons to get off at our exit, they wouldn't open. We then squeezed past the trolley to try the other doors, when the train started moving.' Mrs Richards said it then dawned on her

that Eve was on the platform on her own and she started to panic. She said: 'It's such a dark area where the station is in Gowerton, I think I went into a panic. 'I did not know what to do, I was thinking of the danger of a nine-year-old girl in darkness in the middle of nowhere near a train line, strangers who could have abducted her.' Mrs Richards was eventually reunited with her daughter back at the station after a couple contacted her saying they were looking after her. A spokesman for Arriva Trains Wales,

Duke's hospital visit gaffe PRINCE Philip made another of his famous gaffes this week, telling a Filipino nurse: “The Philippines must be half empty - you’re all here running the NHS.” The 91-year-old Duke of Edinburgh showed his infamous wit is not fading with age as he made the off-the-cuff comment during a visit to Luton and Dunstable Hospital. Philip unveiled a £5.5m cardiac centre and met staff at the hospital including the unidentified Filipino nurse who laughed off the prince’s joke. A spokesperson for the hospital would not comment on the

Duke’s remark but said his visit had been “hugely motivational” for workers. The visit was one of the first engagements in Philip’s 2013 calendar following his Christmas and January break with the Queen at Sandringham. It is thought to be his first recorded “gaffe” of the year although last year during the Diamond Jubilee he was in full flow as he and the Queen travelled the country. In December he bluntly warned: “Don’t do it again!” to bank bosses about the financial crisis on a visit to the Bank of England.

At a Buckingham Palace garden party last May he said to one guest: “I hope you can afford your hat” when she told him she was expecting her sec-

ond child. And earlier in the same month he told a woman in red: “I would get arrested if I unzipped that dress.”

What a nutter WHATEVER this squirrel is eating, it appears to have gone to its head. The cute critter may look like its head has got stuck but it is in fact feasting on nuts inside a hilarious looking feeder. The Big Head Squirrel Feeder was installed in the Secret Garden Nature Reserve in Southampton, Hants but it failed to attract any squirrels at first. The reserve is run by John Horne, and his wife Alison, who set up the feeder and filled it with peanuts. Before long the feeder had three regular visitors who were only too happy to accept the treats inside. John, 67, from Southampton, said: “The squirrel was a bit wary of the Big Head Feeder at first. “But he soon realised there were peanuts inside and began poking his head in to get them. “It was really funny and looked very unusual to see a squirrel eating nuts from inside the huge head. “Once the squirrels get used to the feeder I actually think they are better than a normal wired mesh feeder. “This novel feeder seems to make it much easier for the squirrels to access

Friday, February 22, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

ONE MAN’S GARBAGE IS ANOTHER MAN’S GOLD The image of people rooting through dustbins is becoming an ever-more common sight in Spain. For unemployed immigrants it’s often a lastresort "job". Since the economic crisis hit Spain, plunging the country into Europe's deepest recession, and raising unemployment to 26 percent, the poorest in society have become desperate. Rooting through rubbish cannot be pleasant, but despite the crisis people still throw away out-of-date food, unused clothes and toys children have grown out of. Spanish people don’t have the custom of taking unwanted things to the local charity shop, so they often just put them in the bin. It is common to see immigrants cycling between bins and filling their cycle baskets with anything they find which can be eaten, worn or

SALLY BENGTSSON reports

reused. Think how hungry some of them must be to do this. Last year, the Red Cross launched a TV commercial across Spain. The ad shows a worried father rationing a single egg omelette into three portions to feed him-

self and his two children. "More people than you imagine need help in our country," a voice says. The Red Cross says 300,000 people in Spain are vulnerable to hunger because of the economic crisis. Yet the vast majority of Spaniards do

have access to unemployment benefits and food banks. If things get really desperate, it's also customary for relatives to take one another in. And the Catholic Church is still a big provider of charity. But many of the men searching dumpsters are immigrants, without family

EL BULLI TO FEATURE IN HOLLYWOOD MOVIE

SPAIN'S most famous restaurant, El Bulli, will temporarily reopen later this year as renowned chef-owner Ferran Adria trains actors for a movie based on his iconic but closed eatery. The location is still being determined, Adria told the press last week. It could reopen at its original seaside location in Roses, two hours north of Barcelona, where Adria presided over an impressive Michelin three-star status for more than a decade. Or they might recreate the restaurant elsewhere to train the as yet unchosen actors for "El Bulli," a film that will mix fact and fiction about Adria and the restaurant's final year.

El Bulli, which Adria closed in July 2011, was rated the world's best restaurant five times over by British magazine The Restaurant. Adria, whose modernist approach to cooking pushes the boundaries of avant-garde, has often been described as the planet's most talented and imaginative chef. Also unknown is who will get a seat at the table during the reopening, expected to last about a month. Meals will be served to the public during the training sessions, Adria said in a telephone interview. But those customers might be selected by lottery, or by Adria and film executives. A reservation system has been ruled out. El Bulli got millions of reservation requests when it was open, but was able to serve just thousands each season it was

ties in Spain. Some may be in Spain illegally and therefore have no access to welfare benefits. These migrants were welcomed in the boom years when Spain was desperate for labourers to build their millions of nowempty houses, but have now been cast aside, unwanted and despised in a country where the competition for jobs has reached desperate proportions. Economist Fernando Fernandez, at Madrid's IE Business School, says Spain had a poor underclass even in the boom years. "In any rich, developed economy there are pockets of need. And there are certainly those pockets in Spain and in Madrid these days. It is probably true too that to some extent, this has increased. If anything, because the organisations caring for people in need, are squeezed for

resources," he said. Al-Awami used to work in construction. Now he's one of what he estimates are 2,000 people searching dumpsters in Barcelona city centre every night. "I used to build houses, do renovations, refurbish old historic homes and everything. But now that industry has nearly disappeared," he said. Like many of his peers, however, he insists that he is not homeless - nor a criminal. "Now it seems so much of humanity is without work or anything. So this is better than robbery, you know?" he says. One way to avoid this is to leave anything which may be of use to others next to the bin rather than inside it. People who do this know that the following morning the bag is gone and at least their unwanted items will be useful to someone else. Think of it as recycling.

open from June to December. Adria said he insisted on training the actors in return for his participation in the production of the film. "The people who appear in the movie have got to see us work, and they have to see Ferran Adria work," he said. This isn't the restaurant's first move to the big screen. Adria previously was the focus of a 2011 documentary, "El Bulli: Cooking in Progress." The new El Bulli movie, which is being produced and financed by Vendome Pictures, is from a screenplay based on the book by Lisa Abend, "The Sorcerer's Apprentices: A Season in the Kitchen at Ferran Adria's elBulli."

Friday, February 22, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

GOYA AWARDS STARS IN BLAST AT POLITICS

THE film awards season is well under way, and Spain’s Goya Awards ceremony didn’t disappoint last Monday. Pablo Berger's Blancanieves (Snow White) walked away with the top honours, and the gala was in the news for its political undertones almost as much as for the glamour of its stars. Everyone expected Spain’s most famous bad guy actor Javier Bardem -well-known for his defence of the Saharawi people -- to speak about human rights in the Sahara from the podium upon receiving the Goya for Sons of the Clouds, his documentary about the issue. And everyone expected the Spanish Academy president Enrique Gonzalez Macho to rail against the

By SALLY BENGTSSON

sales-tax hike, which saw tax on theatre admissions jump from 8 percent to 21 percent, in his annual address at the ceremony. But the posters protesting at government cutbacks, a 15-minute monologue from presenter Eva Hache, attacking a wide range of government austerity measures and alleged corruption set a highly political tone. Most of the critiques made during the ceremony came from the winners and were directed at the Culture and Education Minister Jose Ignacio Wert, taking aim at cuts in the culture budget and the hike in taxes. But others were general complaints about austerity measures that Spain is experiencing as it tries to rein in debt.

"I watched my father die in a public hospital that didn't have blankets to cover him and water for him to drink," best supporting actress winner Candela Pena said as she accepted her honour, "And I gave birth to a child for whom I'm concerned what kind of public education will be on offer." Wert, who was in attendance and was caught on camera only at the beginning of the ceremony, smiling, responded to reporters that accepted the political tone in good humour. "In a democracy, you have to be open to all kinds of criticism, even if you don't feel it is justified. If it is done respectfully, it doesn't make me uncomfortable," Wert said. "It wasn't hard for me." But the political tone wasn't the only thing to make

waves in the Goya fall-out. When Bayona received his award for best director, he jumped down from the stage to hand it over to Maria Belon, the mother of the real-life family upon which The Impossible is based. In doing so, he pulled his hamstring and ended up in the emergency room. The biggest anecdote of the night, however, was when presenters Adriana Ugarte and Carlos Santos read the wrong envelope and called out the name of the winning original song -- and then changed it, saying there was a mistake and the winners were actually Chicuelo and Pablo Berger for No Te Puedo Encontrar, sung by Silvia Perez Cruz in Blancanieves. The look

on the winners' faces as they glanced over at the team for L i n e a s Paralelas by El N e n s Salvatges, which thought it had won and had started celebrating, spoke volumes.

Eva Hache, attacked a wide range of government austerity measures

Iberia strikes go on with no progress made on layoff plan The first meeting between representatives of ground staff and cabin crew with the management of Iberia since the start of this week’s five one-day stoppages to protest planned layoffs has ended without any progress being made, labor union officials said Wednesday. Works committee officials said the meeting, held at the instigation of the government, lasted barely 15 minutes,

adding that workers do not rule out stepping up their protests against the airline’s plan to lay off some 3,800 workers, equivalent to 19 percent of its workforce.

"Willing to agree"

No dates were set for further meetings. Manuel Atienza, a representative of the airline sector of the UGT union, described Wednesday’s meeting as a “farce.” But Iberia sources reiterated

the airline’s willingness to “reach an agreement.” A total of 273 flights were canceled on Wednesday; 86 of Iberia’s, 105 of Air Nostrum, 63 of Vueling’s and 19 of Iberia Express. The other carriers rely on Iberia for handling services. Apart from clashes on Monday between police and strikers at Terminal 4 of Barajas Madrid, there have been no significant

incidents reported during the protests. The government is concerned about the impact of the stoppages on the tourism sector. The Public Works Ministry estimates that the strikes will cost the domestic economy about 10 million euros a day. Labor unions have also called stoppages for the periods March 4-8 and March 18-22.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Horrorscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 All the things you're unsure of will almost certainly remain enigmatic by the end of the day. All of that which you experience today will be catalogued under "things not to do in public again". Unfortunately for you, the way forward can sometimes be the way backwards this week. This may become a particularly apparent problem whilst travelling along a busy motorway.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Harsh words may be spoken by a loved one today. Weather can change in an instant, so be prepared for every eventuality today. Even and especially if that means dressing up in 3 different types of clothing. Your neighbour's taste for loud music may cause them to incur an unfortunate accident.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Ignore those who laugh at your sense of style. Many of the people you admire are going to have incredible fortune this week. It turns out that the anti-stalking court orders they've filed against you are completed. Stripes are not really a colour, but people will like the way you confuse it as such.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 You may find people laughing at your jokes are actually laughing at the way in which you pronounce the words "schlong muckney". You may also want to rethink making up your own jokes and including made up words. Any jamborees you attend today are likely to be fun-filled as well as informative.

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 The food of love is music, only if it's Phil Collins and he's feeding you some kind of grapes whilst offering many of his nieces to you. Tailors and Bodybuilders may have a surprise in store for you this week. Also keep on the lookout for butch hairdressers. Baskets of eggs may cause problems for you today as you try to take on too much work.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Deja vu is the feeling that someone's patronised you before (often by telling you what deja vu means). You will be glad of a loved one's ability to almost painlessly remove splinters from your backside. Nobody can stop you as you make that important break through this week.

Libra September 23 - October 22 "Thinking strategically" is a cop-out. You did what you did because you're a selfish competitive little person. The colour blue will give you cause for resentment today. The richer they are, the more money they have to spend paying you off. Remember that. All the ideas you've ever had will be totally blown out of the water today.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Take your time over getting where you're going today. You're only going to have crappy things happen when you get there. Are you loveable? Take time out today to contemplate that thought and try to make sure that you are very loveable. The word "Wobble" might mean something to you today that it simply hasn't meant before.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 You may never find what you're looking for, but at least you managed to find that picture of the chimp sitting on a toilet reading a newspaper. The dead are unlikely to rise from their graves today, but this should not deter you from starting your "Anti-Zombie" fan club. If life makes you feel like dancing, dance the night away.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Although similes can often be used as humorous ways to compare something that is banal to something that is funny, you are neither cunning nor weasel like, and it would be best if you left the comedy to the comedians. All your wishes can come true if you're willing to briefly take on a life of crime.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Almost everything you feel about life is unwarranted. You should feel almost the opposite about life at the moment and embrace your worst fears. Liven up your day by putting party balloons all around your desk. God may try to speak to you today through a kitchen appliance. All that you are may be called into question today when someone calls you a "nancy".

Pisces February 19 - March 20 A talk show that you overhear today is likely to concern principles on which you base your life. Listen closely and they might knock down all those principles. The differences between you and your peers sets you apart. And by apart, I mean they're thinking of relocating you so that you're as far apart as physically possible.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Fewer young people Sat nav could signal learning to drive the end for red lights Fewer young people are learning to drive and taking their driving tests, with latest statistics showing a near-20% decline in learner drivers aged 17-19 in just five years. Analysts are blaming the economic downturn and high insurance costs – but are warning that demographic changes are also a factor. This may actually lead to a fundamental change in the younger demographics’ relationship with cars, suggests the FT. It’s a trend that’s being noted in other countries such as the US and Japan, which indicates that young people seem to be much less keen to get behind the wheel than their parents. Driving a car simply isn’t as essential as it once was – and even those who have passed their test are driving less. Young men in particular are driving far fewer miles than they did. This is a decline that’s been underway for the past decade, suggesting it’s not a new trend, but one that instead is gathering pace. Of course, the biggest barrier to getting young drivers on the road is the high cost of

doing so. Asda Money recently indicated it costs an average of £5000 to turn a youngster into a fully-qualified car owner – including £1,500 on driving lessons and £1,200 on their first car. Insurance costs account for a large chunk of this sum because they have risen 80% for young drivers since 2010. A young driver pays three times the amount for car insurance than a 50-59 year old. New technology means young people have less reason to drive, though. Smartphones and the internet make it far easier for people to stay in touch and chat with one another, often compensating for meeting up in person. Fine, but experts have one big worry: with fewer young people learning to drive, many may be harming their future employment prospects – both limiting them to jobs that don’t require the ability to drive, and also restricting them to looking at jobs within walking distance or public transport. With such current high levels of youth unemployment, could fewer young people taking their driving test already be having an effect?

Waiting at the traffic lights could be a thing of past if technology being trialled in Newcastle proves to be successful: experts have launched sat nav technology that helps drivers adjust their speed – enabling them to pass through a sequence of traffic lights on green. Led in the UK by Newcastle University and Newcastle City Council, the trial is part of a £8.6 million Compass4D project taking place in seven cities across Europe. Its aim is to ‘take the frustration out of the rush-hour commute’.

Sounds perfect, but how does it work? In short, it sends information directly to drivers to take them away from areas that are being congested, speeding up journeys and easing congestion. The only problem could be the knock-on effect of creating rat runs through more suburban areas. But the green light technology (known as Energy Efficient Intersection Service) sounds extremely promising. Phil Blythe, Professor of Intelligent Transport Systems at Newcastle University explains, ‘The system might advise a driver that if they travel at 24

miles an hour they will hit the next four sets of traffic lights on green’. The result could be a slower crawl across the city, but crucially the driver will continue to move, cutting down on emissions and levels of stress.

Additional systems being implemented include: Forward Collision Warning which notifies drivers of obstacles on the road such as an accident, broken down vehicle or stationary traffic. Red Light Violation Warning which tells drivers when someone on the road has jumped a red light. It is hoped that such information will not only ease congestion, but will also help to reduce pollution levels caused by constant stop-start traffic. The technology could also be used for the emergency services, cutting down the time it takes to reach an incident. A potential life saver in the making then? It’s the first trial of its kind in the UK and should it prove successful we could expect to see it rolled out across the country. The end of the traffic light grand prix forever?

Friday, February 22, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 13 represents P and 21 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Has returned, keeping small band (4) 3 Not exactly the smartest pad (8) 9 Runaways slope off, but with a little hesitation (7) 10 Soldier out in road (5) 11 Cools down cooked clams (5) 12 The club, I note, is unexpected (6) 14 Hip myth (6) 16 Made less it becomes small islands (6) 19 Mum’s little house has charm (6) 21 Fireplace will do when one doesn’t have sun (5) 24 Luxembourg Dame’s bizarre decoration (5) 25 Beat the fellow for touching (7) 26 Runner organised printers (8) 27 Girl returns feed (4) STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Outlines for small, confused clients (8) 2 Lots of fish in ruthless short haul (5) 4 Attack a second canvas (6) 5 Roots about at the bottom of the trunk (5) 6 A learned man displaying a rude tie (7) 7 Walk around the animals (4) 8 Moderate sermon is heard (6) 13 Agreed, it’s like it was posted to the editor (8) 15 One thousand rand for Her Majesty to make things more luxurious (7) 17 Lean towards a bar in the heavens (6) 18 Height’s not right for sculpture (6) 20 Money left in for him (5) 22 Slowly learn about angel (5) 23 Some rare musical birds (4) Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Do Is 3 letter words Are Ash Bop Car Gas Pat Wet Yes 4 letter words Aged Case Earl Ease

Ekes Hake Icon Idea Iota Life Line Live Odes Ogle Ouse Pisa Pomp Prep Reds Rete Rice Scot Sect Seer

Shut Soon Spin Step Teen Trey Wage Your 5 letter words Acorn Acres Acrid Aisle Alias Alive Alone Chafe Corgi Dated

Deuce Dicey Eager Eaves Enter Erase Gated Olive Otter Racer Rarer Rates Saves Scram Space There Wages Wives 6 letter words

Blonde Boiler Canine Screen Shares Stress Strive Swirls 8 letter words Envisage Messages 9 letter words Mechanics Whaleboat

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

Down

1 Full of activity (4) 3 Mess (8) 9 Staying power (7) 10 From the time when (5) 11 Unwelcoming (5) 12 Monitor (6) 14 Longing (6) 16 Squirm (6) 19 Agree (6) 21 Pursue (5) 24 Mistake (5) 25 First (7) 26 Wealth (8) 27 Yield (4)

1 Gossip (8) 2 Fright (5) 4 Croaky (6) 5 Tightwad (5) 6 Merciful (7) 7 Hurried (4) 8 Squabble (6) 13 Practice (8) 15 Thorn in your flesh (7) 17 Better off (6) 18 Dealer in fabrics (6) 20 Looks after (5) 22 Similar (5) 23 Hit (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Disaster, 7 Curse, 8 Carbuncle, 9 Axe, 10 Year, 11 Heated, 13 Fasten, 14 Famine, 17 Salmon, 18 Find, 20 Set, 22 Reiterate, 23 Elite, 24 Restless. Down: 1 Decoy, 2 Surpass, 3 Shun, 4 Exceed, 5 Broad, 6 Reserve, 7 Central, 12 Deplore, 13 Fluster, 15 Imitate, 16 Bovine, 17 Stain, 19 Dress, 21 Beat.

Scribble Pad

1 Lettering tools (8) 1 Cloth belt (4) 2 Group of fish (5) 3 Bed cushion (8) 4 Assault (6) 9 Runaway pair (7) 5 Body (5) 10 Road to follow (5) 6 Learned (7) 11 Pacifies (5) 7 Pace (4) 12 Sarcastic (6) 14 Mythical tale (6) 8 Decrease (6) 16 Small landmasses (6) 13 Agreed (8) 19 Good-luck charm (6) 15 More imposing (7) 21 Fireplace (5) 17 Thin (6) 24 Decoration of honour 18 Sculptor’s work (6) (5) 20 Former US Secretary 25 Trigonometric function (7) of State Powell’s first 26 Short-distance runner name (5) (8) 22 Gather gradually (5) 27 Author Blyton’s first 23 Flightless birds (4) name (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Toss, 3 Apostate, 9 Another, 10 Races, 11 Mania, 12 Asylum, 14 Tables, 16 Carton, 19 Plasma, 21 Copse, 24 Manet, 25 Pontoon, 26 Treasure, 27 Meal. Down: 1 Teammate, 2 Scorn, 4 Pariah, 5 Stray, 6 Account, 7 Easy, 8 Phrase, 13 Internal, 15 Balance, 17 Ascent, 18 Hamper, 20 Sites, 22 Prone, 23 Emit.

Across

Down

1 Chestnut (7) 5 Comidas (5) 8 Fan (hand-held) (7) 9 Flat (level) (5) 10 Health (5) 11 Absent (not present) (7) 12 Fishbowl (6) 14 Blankets (6) 17 Church (building) (7) 19 To drink (5) 22 Cáscara (de huevo, nuez) (5) 23 Pigeons (7) 24 Escalón (5) 25 Pañuelos de papel (7)

1 Garras (de animales) (5) 2 Pequeño (5) 3 Aviator (7) 4 To support (6) 5 Millas (5) 6 En contra de (indicando oposición) (7) 7 Chubascos (7) 12 Sacerdotes (7) 13 Beehive (7) 15 Trees (7) 16 Alfombra (6) 18 To leave (5) 20 Bamboo (5) 21 Rosas (5)

Friday, February 22, 2013 Across 1 Which river of southwest Asia rises in the mountains of eastern Turkey and flows through Syria and Iraq to join the Tigris, forming the Shatt alArab waterway? (9) 6 What name is usually given to the skin covering the head, excluding the face? (5) 9 The name of which large tropical seabird of the gannet family with brown, black or white plumage and brightly coloured feet was possibly based on a Spanish slang term meaning ‘stupid’? (5) 10 Which word completes the title of a famous 1947 play by Tennessee Williams: A [What] Named Desire? (9) 11 In Britain, what name is given to a refuse container with wheels to hold household rubbish for collection? (7,3) 12 Johann Sebastian were the first names of which famous 18th century German composer, organist, harpsichordist, violist and violinist of the Baroque period? (4) 14 Which infectious viral disease causing fever and a red rash, typically occurring in childhood, is also known as rubeola? (7) 15 What is the surname of the

keyboard player who, in 1970, formed a super-group with bass player Greg Lake and drummer Carl Palmer? (7) 17 What name is given to the male offspring of your spouse by a former marriage? (7) 19 What was the surname of the US comedy performer whose biggest hit single was Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh, a comic novelty in which a boy describes his summer camp experiences to the tune of Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours? (7) 20 In astrology what name is given to both the ‘initial point of an astrological sign or house’ and a ‘point of transition between two different states’? (4) 22 What name for an extreme or irrational fear of heights is derived from the Greek for ‘summit’? (10) 25 Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people, is also known as the Day of [What]? (9) 26 In archaeology, what name is given to an upright stone slab or column typically bearing a commemorative inscription or relief design, which often serves as a gravestone? (5) 27 Which drink is made by

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

adding a shot of espresso coffee to a glass or cup of frothy steamed milk? (5) 28 Which vast plain in Tanzania to the west of the Great Rift

Valley is known for its wildlife? (9)

Down 1 Guy Garvey, Richard Jupp, Craig Potter, Mark Potter and

Pete Turner are the members of which Mercury Music Prize award-winning English alternative rock band? (5) 2 In country dancing, what name is given to a movement in which couples follow one another in a given direction, each couple having both hands joined? (9) 3 Which poker hand consists of the ace, king, queen, jack, and 10 all in the same suit? (5,5) 4 What name is given to ‘tufts of loosely hanging threads or cords knotted at one end and attached for decoration to soft furnishings, clothing, or other items’? (7) 5 What name is often applied to a young pilchard or other young or small herring-like fish? (7) 6 According to the Old Testament, who was the eldest son of Noah? (4) 7 Which deep-water port is the capital and largest city of Ghana? (5) 8 What is the name of the main temple of the goddess Athene, which was built on the acropolis in Athens more than 400 years BC? (9) 13 Which leather shorts with Hshaped braces are traditionally

worn by men in Alpine regions such as Bavaria? (10) 14 Which form of variety entertainment popular in Britain from 1850s to 1960s, consisted of singing, dancing, comedy, acrobatics, and novelty acts? (5,4) 16 Which note having the time value of two minims or four crotchets, is the longest note now in common use? (9) 18 In physics, what name is given to the positively charged central core of an atom that contains most of its mass? (7) 19 Which child’s toy consists of a footboard mounted on two wheels and a long steering handle, propelled by resting one foot on the footboard and pushing the other against the ground? (7) 21 Which Isley Brothers’ song was a 1964 UK Top 10 hit single for Lulu (and the Luvvers)? (5) 23 What was the family name of the 17th century Italian violin maker who taught the craft to Guarneri and Stradivari? (5) 24 The English monk, theologian and historian (672-735) who wrote The Ecclesiastical History of the English People, was commonly referred to as the Venerable [What]? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

ANIMALES 2

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

el aguila

el oso

el buho

el pajaro

el burro

el pato

el correcaminos

el pavo

el grillo

el venado

el liebre

el zorro

el lobo

la ballena

el loro

la cabra

el mono

la serpiente

science QUIZ

ANSWERS: 1. 3M 2. 40,000 km/h 3. Tooth Decay 4. Thunder 5. Copper and Zinc 6. China / Chinese 7. nicolas copernicus 8. The Dahlia 9. Duck-billed platypus and Spiny anteater 10. An isotherm 11. Radius (The Rest Are Bones In The Legs)

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Bypass, 4 Plectrum, 9 Guitar, 10 Pennines, 12 Autobahn, 13 Poseur, 15 Ghee, 16 Red admiral, 19 Das Kapital, 20 Joss, 23 Avatar, 25 Kedgeree, 27 Sacristy, 28 Tanner, 29 Alter ego, 30 Sayers. Down: 1 Big Bang, 2 Pointless, 3 Shabby, 5 Leek, 6 Consommé, 7 Range, 8 Mistral, 11 Phoenix, 14 Cabaret, 17 Rio Grande, 18 Cavalier, 19 Dead Sea, 21 Sierras, 22 Iguana, 24 Ascot, 26 Stag.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.el águila, 2.el búho, 3.el burro,

17.la cabra, 18.la serpiente.

k.the donkey, l.the eagle, m.the whale, n.the monkey,

4.el correcaminos, 5.el grillo, 6.el liebre, 7.el lobo, 8.el loro,

a.the bear, b.the fox,

o.the hare, p.the turkey,

9.el mono, 10.el oso,

c.the snake, d.the owl,

q.the deer, r.the duck.

11.el pájaro, 12.el pato,

e.the road runner, f.the bird,

13.el pavo, 14.el venado,

g.the goat, h.the parrot,

15.el zorro, 16.la ballena,

Soduko

i.the grass hopper, j.the wolf,

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1l, 2d, 3k, 4e, 5i, 6o, 7j, 8h, 9n, 10a, 11f, 12r, 13p, 14q, 15b, 16m, 17g, 18c,

1. Scotch Tape Was Invented In 1930 By American Richard Drew For Which Company Did He Work? 2. What Speed Did Saturn V Have To Reach To Escape The Earths Gravitational Pull? 3. Caries is an extremely common disease by what name is it better known? 4. When Lightning Strikes, The Air Along Its Path Heats Up Very Quickly & Very Intensely What Is Produced By This Sudden Ex 5. Which two metals make up brass? 6. Which Nation Invented paper? 7. what polish astronomer demonstrated in 1512 that the sun is the center of the solar system? 8. Swedish Botanist Anders Dahl Gave His Name To Which Flower? 9. What are the only two mammals that lay eggs? 10. What Is The Name For The Line On A Weather Map Which Connects Points Of Equal Temperature? 11. Which one of these is the odd one out Patella, Tibia, Fibula or Radius?

Fill It In

Friday, February 22, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY YANKS FOR THE MEMORY q

with ALEX TRELINSKI IT’S been a decent season for new American shows like Elementary, Nashville and Chicago Fire. And I’m now pleased to recommend Vegas on Sky Atlantic, which is set in the gambling city in the ‘60s. It’s a bit like McCloud meets Casino, as Dennis Quaid plays a rancher who was a military policeman in the Second World War. He's brought in to solve a murder because the Vegas sheriff has gone missing, and we see him bumped off towards the end! The Mayor happens to be Quaid's former commanding officer, whilst the District Attorney is in the pocket of a Chicago mobster played by Michael Chiklis, who is best known for his role as bent copper Vic in The

Shield. We get the McCloud memories as Quaid rides the Vegas strip on a horse, and the encounters with Chiklis are great and augur well for future episodes. Who came up with the idea of yet anoth-

er clip show, which does absolutely nothing? Incredibly Channel Four, who ought to know better, have produced a new look at a ragbag of rubbish presented by Paddy McGuiness called Paddy’s TV Guide. I’m a big fan of Paddy on

Take Me Out, but this creaking format is a total turkey, and has already been bumped back by the extended The Last Leg on a Friday night. Perhaps it should rear its ugly head at around midnight when any viewers catching it by accident will be too intoxicated to notice how bad it is! Let’s Dance for Comic Relief is back on BBC1, which means we have to put up with the most wooden presenter on TV in the form of Steve Jones, partnered with his ex-girlfriend, Alex Jones. When it first appeared it was fresh and good fun, but standards have slipped and there were moments

when the production values of Splash appeared to be better. There are two excellent reasons to give it a miss tomorrow night. Antony Cotton is one of the contenders, and Ant & Dec are back with a revival of Saturday Night Takeaway on ITV. The mystery of the non-appearing new series of CSI has been solved, a week after I asked the question! It’s been bumped forward to fill the traditional Tuesday 9pm slot from next week, after the removal of Dallas. That’s of course where it should have been in the first place, and with those new episodes airing from last month!

Were you up early enough last Sunday morning to catch the Andrew Marr Show on BBC1? As Andrew continues to recover from his stroke, the programme was being guestpresented by the excellent Eddie Mair. He had to contend with the stroppy Sinead O’Connor who looked like she’d been pulled through a thousand hedges and that’s not even touching her mental state. It was riveting car crash TV, but the Beeb should never have this basket case on again on a live show. I’ve never been a fan of Keith Chegwin, always regarding him as an immature irritating idiot, but I’ve revised my opinion after his exploits on Dancing on Ice. Cheggers, despite the backing of nasty Jason Gardiner, was sadly voted off the show last Sunday, and he’s been great fun, as well as becoming a decent skater. I thought he was better than the miserable Samia Ghadie, who lets her new boyfriend/ice partner do most of the work. I sense the Chegwin bank balance rising substantially over the next year or two, and good luck to him on that front.

Friday TV

February 22

00:35 The Magdalene Sisters 02:30 Skiing Weatherview 02:35 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:30 HARDtalk 05:50 BBC News 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 The Railway: Keeping Britain

on Track 01:20 Brain Doctors 02:20 The Culture Show 02:50 Panorama 03:20 Close 05:00 Schools - Inside the Human Body 06:00 What Makes Me, Me 06:30 Schools - In My Shoes: Rotterdam 06:40 Schools - Joey's First Fight 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 09:15 Show Me the Monet 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Question Time 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Animal Park 14:00 The One Show 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Mastermind 15:45 Reel History of Britain 16:15 Rick Stein's Mediterranean Escapes 17:15 Live Cycling 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Sea City 22:00 Wild Arabia 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:50 The Golden Rules of TV 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 River Monsters 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dinner Date 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Three Kings

WILD ARABIA New series. Documentary revealing the connections between the wildlife, landscape and people of the Arabian peninsula. The first edition features animals including oryxes, jerboas, horned vipers and scorpions, and a journey with the Bedouin camel-riding nomads who are the only humans to have mastered the art of survival in the desert.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Embarrassing Bodies 01:15 The Fried Chicken Shop: Life in a Day 02:10 Inside Nature's Giants 03:05 Wild Things 03:30 Dispatches 04:00 Tony Robinson's Gods and Monsters 04:55 Time Team 05:50 Countdown 06:35 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday 13:05 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 13:15 Distant Drums 15:15 Face the Clock 15:40 Countdown 16:30 The Common Denominator 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:30 The Last Leg 23:20 Paddy's TV Guide

00:45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 01:15 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Milkshake! Monkey 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Being Liverpool 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Person of Interest 16:15 Stolen Innocence 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Winter Road Rescue 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Saturday TV February 23

00:25 Pretty Woman 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 BBC News 02:30 Click 03:00 BBC News 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Five Minutes With 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 17:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 17:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 20:00 Let's Dance for Comic Relief 21:25 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 21:40 Casualty 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 The Review Show 00:50 Southern Comfort

02:30 Question Time 03:30 Close 07:00 Close 08:30 Great British Menu 09:00 Great British Menu 09:30 Great British Menu 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 Great British Menu 11:00 A History of Britain by Simon Schama 12:00 Meet the Ancestors 12:30 Map Man 13:00 Indian Food Made Easy 13:30 Mastermind 14:00 University Challenge 14:30 Talking Pictures 15:15 The Black Shield of Falworth 16:50 Coast 17:00 Flog It! 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Live Cycling 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Dad's Army 21:30 Natural World 22:30 Howard Goodall's Story of Music 23:30 Funny Business

01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Coogan's Bluff 05:35 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Handy Manny 07:10 Handy Manny 07:25 The Hive 07:45 Dino Dan 08:10 Canimals 08:25 Bookaboo 08:40 Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:05 Kick Buttowski - Suburban Daredevil 09:30 Victorious 10:00 Jessie 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 My Tasty Travels with Lynda Bellingham 12:25 Dinner Date 13:25 Countrywise 13:40 ITV News and Weather 13:44 ITV Meridian Weather 13:45 Carry On Up the Jungle 15:30 The Chase 16:30 Midsomer Murders 18:30 ITV Meridian Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Totally You've Been Framed! 20:00 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 21:20 Take Me Out 22:50 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:10 Hot Shots! 01:45 Random Acts 01:50 2 Broke Girls 02:15 Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 02:35 Bob's Burgers 03:00 Happy Endings 03:20 Southland 04:00 Portrait of a Young Man Drowning 04:10 St Elsewhere 05:00 Deal or No Deal 05:55 Countdown 06:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Will & Grace 08:25 Freesports on 4 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:50 Frasier 11:50 The Big Bang Theory 12:45 The Simpsons 13:10 The Simpsons 13:40 The Secret Millionaire 14:45 Channel 4 Racing 17:05 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 The Queen's Mother in Law 21:00 Kevin McCloud's Man Made Home 22:00 Terminator: Salvation

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:15 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 The Mr Men Show 07:40 Olive the Ostrich 07:45 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:15 Animal Antics 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:10 Looney Tunes 12:20 Looney Tunes 12:25 Monkey Life 12:55 Police Interceptors 13:55 I Dream of Murder 15:40 Corrina, Corrina 17:55 5 News Weekend 18:00 Columbo: Ransom for a Dead Man 19:55 CSI: NY 20:40 NCIS 21:35 NCIS 22:30 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:25 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

00:10 02:35 03:15 05:20 06:15 07:00 07:20 07:45 08:10 08:35 09:00 09:30 10:00 10:30 13:10 13:40 14:10 14:40 15:10 17:20 18:20 19:20 19:50 19:55 20:00 Feast 21:00 22:00 23:50

00:25 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:15 SuperCasino 05:00 HouseBusters 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 Rough Guide To 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Olive the Ostrich 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Animal Antics 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Mio Mao 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:10 Disney Shorts: Bone Bandit 12:15 Looney Tunes 12:20 Once Upon a Time 13:15 Cowboy Builders 14:20 Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo 15:35 Stuart Little 2 17:05 To Hell and Back 19:10 Beat the Ancestors 20:05 Mosquito Squadron 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Person of Interest 23:00 Saw: the Final Chapter

ANT & DECâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SATURDAY NIGHT TAKEAWAY Robbie Williams takes part in an end-of-show performance and Danny DeVito steps into the voiceover booth in the first edition. The Geordie duo take on their most terrifying challenge to date, are reunited with Little Ant and Dec, and spring surprises on viewers, who have the chance to win a holiday. Plus, as usual, one lucky member of the audience will be given the opportunity to play for the contents of a commercial break in Win the Ads.

Sunday TV

February 24

23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 00:40 The Football League Show

23:25 Match of the Day 2

01:55 Weatherview 02:00 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line

00:30 The Men Who Stare at Goats

03:00 BBC News

01:55 Close

03:30 Dateline London

07:00 Close

04:00 BBC News

07:20 Once upon a Honeymoon

04:30 Our World

09:15 Life in a Cottage Garden with

05:00 BBC News

Carol Klein

05:30 Click

09:45 A to Z of TV Gardening

06:00 BBC News

10:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

06:30 The Bottom Line

12:00 Live Cycling

07:00 Breakfast

15:05 EastEnders

08:35 Match of the Day

17:00 The Lions' Roar

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

17:30 Flog It!

11:00 The Big Questions

18:15 Restoration Home

12:00 Countryfile

19:15 Food & Drink 12:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 19:45 Ski Sunday 13:00 BBC News 20:30 Open All Hours 13:05 Bargain Hunt 21:00 Top Gear 13:30 Call the Midwife

22:00 Wonders of Life

14:30 Live Six Nations Rugby

23:00 Dancing on the Edge

Union 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Songs of Praise 18:05 Penguins - Spy in the Huddle 19:05 Deadly 60 on a Mission 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Call the Midwife 22:00 Ripper Street

00:04 ITV Meridian Weather 00:05 The Gauntlet 02:05 Jackpot247 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Handy Manny 07:25 The Hive 07:45 Dino Dan 08:10 Canimals 08:25 Bookaboo 08:40 Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:05 Rated A for Awesome 09:30 Almost Naked Animals 10:00 The Aquabats Super Show 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 13:25 ITV News and Weather 13:29 ITV Meridian Weather 13:30 Carry On Henry 15:15 Doc Martin 16:15 Agatha Christie's Marple 18:15 You've Been Framed! 18:45 ITV Meridian Weather 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Dancing on Ice 20:45 All Star Family Fortunes 21:30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off 22:00 Mr Selfridge 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Her Majesty's Prison Aylesbury

UNSTOPPABLE Action thriller starring Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. A runaway train loaded with toxic chemicals will derail in a populated area unless two rail company workers can put their differences aside and to try to prevent catastrophe.

Rising Sun Southland Hollyoaks Deal or No Deal Countdown Kirstie's Handmade Treasures The Hoobs The Hoobs Will & Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons The Wedding Planner Time Team Deal or No Deal Channel 4 News The Political Slot 4thought.tv Ottolenghi's Mediterranean A Great British Air Disaster Unstoppable Runaway Jury

Monday TV

February 25

00:25 The League Cup Show 01:05 The Apprentice USA 01:50 The Apprentice USA 02:30 Weatherview 02:35 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Hospital Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Penguins - Spy in the Huddle 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Being Eileen

00:05 Six Nations Rugby Union 00:50 10 Rillington Place 02:40 Holby City 03:40 Being Eileen 04:05 Close 07:00 Close 07:10 Homes Under the Hammer 08:10 Saints and Scroungers 08:55 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 09:25 Show Me the Monet 10:10 Great British Menu 10:40 Countryfile 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 14:30 Six Nations Rugby Union 15:15 Coast 15:20 Mastermind 15:50 Britain's Heritage Heroes 16:20 Great British Food Revival 17:20 The Living Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Food & Drink 22:00 Dancing on the Edge 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 Premiership Rugby Union 01:15 The Store 03:15 Monk 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dinner Date 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Her Majesty's Prison Aylesbury 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Agenda

02:10 My Funniest Year 04:00 4Funnies 04:30 Eating for Two 04:35 St Elsewhere 05:20 Deal or No Deal 06:15 Countdown 07:00 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasierr 11:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What's Cooking? 14:45 A Place in the Sun 15:45 Countdown 16:30 The Common Denominator 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Wild Things 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Black Mirror

ROBSONS EXTREME FISHING CHALLENGE Actor Robson Green returns to face more expert fishermen from around the world. His first task sees him visit Tasmania, where he goes up against a legendary islander in a hunt for the terrifying mako shark. He then challenges a fanatical angler to catch the elusive and curious-looking elephant fish, before embarking on a search for bream with a champion who currently holds eight titles.

00:50 The Exorcist: The True Story 01:50 SuperCasino 05:00 HouseBusters 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 Rough Guide To 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Being Liverpool 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Ladies of the House 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Beat the Ancestors 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 23:00 Horsemeat & Other Food Shockers

Tuesday TV

February 26

00:05 Have I Got Old News for You 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 The Apprentice USA 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Hospital Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 15:45 Perfection 16:30 Escape to the Country 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 My New Hand

00:20 Wonders of Life 01:20 Film 01:50 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:50 Close 05:00 Made of Money 05:30 Schools 07:00 Close 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 09:20 Show Me the Monet 10:05 Great British Menu 10:35 Natural World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 14:30 The Super League Show 15:15 Coast 15:20 Mastermind 15:50 Britain's Heritage Heroes 16:20 Great British Food Revival 17:20 The Living Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer 22:00 The Railway: Keeping Britain on Track 23:00 Heading Out 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 Monk 01:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Champions League Weekly 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dinner Date 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live FA Cup Football 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 FA Cup Football Highlights

SHAMELESS New series. The 11th and final series of the popular drama begins as the Maguires toast the expansion of their empire - Mimi has hijacked control of the local school via the PTA and Shane is setting up a new business venture. But just as things are going well, Jamie makes a shocking discovery and withdraws from the family firm. Meanwhile, Frank climbs the employment ladder as a caretaker, conveniently funding his latest leisure activity a prostitute double act.

00:05 True Stories 01:15 Random Acts 01:20 The Shooting Gallery 02:15 Scandal 02:55 Get Your House in Order 03:50 The Renovation Game 04:45 How to Look Good Naked 05:40 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:00 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 11:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What's Cooking? 14:45 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 15:45 Countdown 16:30 The Common Denominator 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 Secrets of the Pickpockets 23:00 Shameless

00:00 Striking Distance 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Dirty Great Machines 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Looney Tunes 16:20 Jane Doe: Til Death Do Us Part 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Monkey Life 20:30 Highland Emergency 21:00 Benidorm ER 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 Dallas

Wednesday TV February 27

00:35 Who Do You Think You Are? US 01:15 Then She Found Me 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Hospital Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:10 Only Fools and Horses 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Holiday Hit Squad 22:00 Child of Our Time 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

Railway 01:35 Brain Doctors 02:35 Close 04:55 Tips For Young Composers 05:30 Schools: Children at Work Cocoa 06:00 Schools: Your Paintings 06:30 Schools: Your Paintings 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 09:15 Show Me the Monet 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 Food & Drink 11:00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Mastermind 15:45 Britain's Heritage Heroes 16:15 Great British Food Revival 17:15 The Living Planet 18:10 Antiques Roadshow 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 22:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dinner Date 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Food Glorious Food 22:00 Lightfields 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 From Romania with Love

LIGHTFIELDS

00:05 Derek 00:35 Random Acts 00:40 One Born Every Minute 01:45 European Poker Tour 02:40 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:05 Sailing 03:35 Freesports on 4 04:00 Inside Nature's Giants 04:55 Great Migrations 05:45 Wild Things 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 11:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What's Cooking? 14:45 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 15:45 Countdown 16:30 The Common Denominator 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 Derek 23:35 The Making of Derek

New series. Follow-up to supernatural drama Marchlands, focusing on three families living in the same farmhouse in different decades and connected by the mysterious death of a girl. The story opens in 1944 with the aftermath of a fire that devastates Lightfields' hay barn. In 1975, a woman is forced to confront repressed childhood memories of her time as an evacuee in the area, and in 2012 a couple who have moved into the property are haunted by a restless spirit.

00:35 Murder on the Victorian

00:55 CSI: Miami 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Dirty Great Machines 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The Tenth Circle 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 21:00 Born to Kill 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Thursday TV February 28

00:05 Film 00:40 The Mothman Prophecies 02:35 Weatherview 02:40 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Hospital Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:10 Only Fools and Horses 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 Child of Our Time 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 The Railway: Keeping Britain

on Track 01:20 See Hear 01:50 World's Most Dangerous Roads 02:50 Close 05:00 Schools 07:00 Close 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Britain's Empty Homes Revisited 09:20 Show Me the Monet 10:05 Great British Menu 10:35 Great British Menu 11:05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The One Show 15:00 Coast 15:20 Mastermind 15:50 Britain's Heritage Heroes 16:20 Great British Food Revival 17:20 The Living Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Planners 22:00 The Sea King: Britain's Flying Past 23:00 Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe 23:30 Weather

00:35 Safari Vet School 01:00 Jackpot247 03:40 King Kong 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dinner Date 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Nursing the Nation 22:00 The Wedding Shop 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

THE WEDDING SHOP Documentary following staff at a busy wedding shop in Leeds as they guide brides through the hectic summer season. Manager Marg and her colleague Jane come to the aid of a series of brides-to-be as they plan out their perfect day, including Tammy who dreams of a fairy-tale wedding and has chosen the sparkliest dress in the shop. The pair also dispense advice to Natasha, who is preparing to exchange vows with the childhood sweetheart she reunited with after a decade apart.

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 00:55 Random Acts 01:00 The Last Leg 01:45 The New Normal 02:35 Revenge 03:20 The Notebook 05:25 Deal or No Deal 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 11:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What's Cooking? 14:45 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 15:45 Countdown 16:30 The Common Denominator 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Britain's Secret Shoppers 22:00 Hugh's Fish Fight 23:00 Bank of Dave

00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Dirty Great Machines 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Disney Shorts: Tugboat Mickey 16:20 Abducted 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Horsemeat & Other Food Shockers 21:00 Murder Files 22:00 Jack Taylor 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Friday, February 22, 2013

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International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or con-

Call Professional Business Support now for your quick quote for car insurance. Excellent prices for expats, all policies available in English or German. We will call you back with a price. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

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Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Kitchen for rent in popular Irish Bar, Gran Alacant. March to October. Call 630 030 631(105) Brand new 2 bed, unfurnished / furnished apartment. Algorfa town centre, swimming pool, rent €250 +150€ bills per month or yearly advanced €2700 plus bills. 0044-7949-589-539 londonangels@hotmail.com (111) 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 636615716. (110) Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a

pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. KBJ3 – Luxury duplex penthouse apartment located near the marina in Guardamar. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, amazing panoramic views, inc.parking and storage. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR21 – A rare chance to rent a frontline beach apartment in Torrevieja! Ground floor with large terrace, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, direct and full-on sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR20 – Spanish style 4th floor apartment right on the beach! 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lovely balcony to soak up the amazing sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR19 – 2 bedroom 1

CARPENTER

bathroom apartment in sought after area beachside Punta Prima, with communal pool and fully furnished, only 400 € pcm. 966 923 963 CBR25 – Torrevieja town centre, 3 bed 2 bath apartment, bright and modern decor, only 10m from Playa Acequion, inc. Garage parking, unfurnished, long term rental only, 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR3 – 2 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse located in Algorfa, communal pool, fully furnished, 300 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. RS20 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment within private enclosed residential in San Luis, large terrace, 330 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata. Close to all amenities and beach. 3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 Ref. RS96 – Charming 1 bedroom top floor bungalow, 300m from the sea in La Mata. 55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963

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Friday, February 22, 2013 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term

rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 CBR23 : Stylish new house in Los Montesinos, 3 bed 2 bath with large 65m2 garage, front and back terraces. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Comprehensive cover for house and contents with CASER Seguros - excellent prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote. Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apartment in San Luis. Great sea and lake views. 55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref: 510, €70,000. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. RS63 – 2 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse in Torrevieja, with communal pool and lots of extras. 95.000 €. Tl. 966 923 963

Ref. RS59 – Detached 3 bedroom 2 bathroom villa in San Luis, plot of 350m2, private pool, and additional “granny annex”. 169.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS1 – Detached 3 bedroom 2 bathroom villa with 900m2 plot located in Toretta Florida. Has private pool, Jacuzzi, sauna and much more! 345.000 € .Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS67 – 2 bedroom apartment with lovely sun terrace located in Playa Flamenca urb with communal pool. All amenities nearby. 61.500 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS98 - Spacious 2 bed, ground floor apartment 250m from La Mata beach, inc private parking and storeroom. 115.000€ Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS58 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom second floor apartment located in La Mata, communal pool, fully furnished, 79.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS84 – Large 3 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment of 100m2 situated in Los Montesinos. Communal solarium upstairs with pool. 79.900 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS20 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment within private enclosed residential in San Luis, large terrace, 90.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS65 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom penthouse apartment, communal pool and

parking area, located near the beach in Guardamar. 79.950 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. RS90 – 2 bedroom detached villa all on one level, fully furnished, as new! Located in El Raso (Guardamar) 145.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Ref. KEIGUA – Luxury duplex atico apartment in Guardamar. 3 bedroom 2 bathroom, 118 m2, private parking, storage room, communal pool, magnificent views of forest, beach and sea. 169.000 € Tel. 966 923 963 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on

the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155

Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons. Greenland Views and all local amenities close by. Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242

Friday, February 22, 2013

Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium. Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant. Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant. Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc. The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom.

ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with rooftop solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course. Comprising of fitted

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wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front

PETS

garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked. Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including

white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The

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Friday, February 22, 2013

property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park. Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242

RAG AND BONE

Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale. Briefly comprising of: 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, corner property in Don Pueblo with no expense spared, comprising of 3 double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 decoratively tiled bathrooms, very large independent kitchen

with galleria. Included in the price are all kitchen appliances such as large fridge freezer, washing machine, dishwasher, microwave to name just a few. There is a huge lounge complete with chimney, plus large fully transformed under build,and small workshop. Front and rear private garden area, secure underground garage, tennis courts, football pitch and communal pools. Ref. K14 €209,00 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous

Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking. The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever constructed- Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 ensuit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room. Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation system and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran

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Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref. K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local amenities such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach. Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof-top solarium. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large decorative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more. 125.000 Euros Ref No. K23. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242

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Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:- 664 838 581

REMOVALS Small removals, deliveries & storage. Spain-UK-Spain. Budget prices. www.spanishmoves.net. UK 01209 843971 or Spain 687 756 644 (101)

SITUATIONS VACANT Inviters wanted for all areas including Cabo Roig, La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Punta Prima and all areas of Costa Blanca South. Hours to suit and great rates of pay. Phone Sue (691 063 203) to find out more about working for the best New Company on the Costa Blanca.(101) Avon need enthusiastic distributors. Turn your spare time into money! For more information phone Rosh on 966 785 520 (106)

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today.

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

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Friday, February 22, 2013

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

HEROES TO ZEROS IS it me or is it cold or what? I have asked the long-termers here in Spain, if this is the coldest they have been? But does it stop them playing golf? Not a chance. It’s quite funny all those golfers, here, digging into the wardrobe to find mittens, waterproof trousers that they last used years ago in the UK, one friend of mine was chastised by her indoors for pinching her tights to keep warm. Well, that’s his excuse for wearing them. Brings back memories of those cold clear days back in England, when the ground was so hard and you could outdrive Tiger Woods, there was that much run on the ball. Thinking of England and particularly us Brits, we are a strange bunch. You know when someone gains greatness in sport they become a target for us average folk after a while. Take Tiger, his name is already guaranteed in Golf’s Hall of Fame at the tender age of 26. He is a role model and icon for many children around the world hoping to emulate him. He hits a ball prestigious distances, his short game is super. But he is an American - the tragedy is that, even if he were British he would now be envied and despised by many Brits. Have you ever thought why this is? How often have you said or heard (I‘ve said it) “I am sick of hearing and seeing the Tiger Woods appreciation society, every time you switch on the TV”. “Why can’t we see more of our golfers?” “The Sky presenters are members of the Tiger Woods appreciation society”

Why do we Brits turn on our sporting stars? “Our lads do not get enough coverage” “I am not watching Sky golf any more” We seem to need a sporting hero, just to knock him off his pedestal as soon as he achieves some sort of worldwide recognition. The opposite of that was Eddie the Eagle, he was a loser from the start, but became a household hero. Now that’s weird. The Americans love a winner and coming second is failure. Look at past golfing heroes, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, having their staunch followers and every time they appear and they miss the cut, they are still adored. If one of our past idols continues to play they are questioned, it is about time he packed it in, he doesn’t need the money - he’s made enough out of golf to retire. Our sporting stars often retire into oblivion and end up on the dole. We virtually ignore them after they have given us so much sporting pleasure. My sporting idols were in soccer like Bert Williams, Ronnie Allen, Johnny Nicholls, and Jeff Astle. (who’s a West Brom supporter then?). They all ended up on the scrapheap. Other sports stars around that time were Randolph Turpin, Freddie Mills, Denis Compton and Len Hutton all world class performers who re wrote the record books.

TITTER ON THE TEE Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He got home from golf and found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!" "That's awful," said Frank, "but it could have been worse." "How the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "could it have been worse?" "Well," replied Frank, "if it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!"

Chart which differed from the one we had. The course had been reassessed and although the layout had not changed the course value and slope value had. Another example, I asked the RFEG about an ambidextrous golfer who had a handicap for left hand and another for right hand which one should be used? The answer: In answer to your writing of date 30 of the past month of October, we informed you that the player should choose a form of playing, right or left, and apply the regulation. Sincerely. Committee of Rules REAL FEDERACIÓN SPANISH DE GOLF What, two handicaps? No way, the real answer is you play off your LOWEST - right or left handed.

The Americans love a winner However, they all left this world as forgotten heroes in various stages of poverty or humiliation. I bet there are a few out there who are already fed up with Tiger. If it was Ian Poulter, Lee Westwood or Justin Rose, would we feel the same? You’re darn right we would – unfortunately! It must be this cold weather that got me thinking about that, it does though, doesn’t it?

Real Federación Española de Golf (RFEG) I have questioned in the not too distant past what you get for your annual subscription and I have yet to be convinced that you really get anything; this was compounded by a recent experience. (more on this subject in the future.) As part of the Vega Baja

League we use the Slope System for all the handicapping and at each league match the handicaps are checked against the course Slope Chart to ensure the correct handicap is being used. All this is done in advance, in ensuring that the Playing Handicap is correct a check is made of the Slope Chart for the course. So far so good! Well in my possession was the Chart from the course, the official guide RFEG produced and the website for the RFEG. As a league match was coming up I checked the Slope and Course Value, now here comes the moan, they were all different!! So which one do you believe? The other month a similar thing happened. On the day it was pointed out by one of the teams that the Slope handicaps were wrong and produced another Slope

Rule Changes for seniors Rule 1.a.5 A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalised for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow. Rule 2.d.6 (B) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a game of skill. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have

travelled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there. Rule 3.B.3(G) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty. Rule 4.c.7(h) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The senior should not be penalised for gravity’s failures. Rule 5. Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game. Rule 6.a.9(k) There is no penalty for socalled “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty. Rule 7.G.15(z) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior golfers should not be penalised for manufacturers’ shortcomings. Rule 8.k.9(S) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many senior golfers, onehalf stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment. Please advise all your Senior friends of these important rule changes.

Friday, February 22, 2013

DO you remember those days, not long ago, when Arsenal and Manchester United used to slug it out blow for blow physically on the field for top spot, with Arsene Wenger and Alex Ferguson verbally playing those mind games with each other in interviews? United were not the main men they look today, now with an undisputed chance of winning the triple of Champions League, Premier League and FA Cup, whereas Arsenal – well, after the hiding from Bayern Munich on Tuesday night, brutally exposed to the British public live on ITV - appear to have as much chance of winning something this season as Shergar has of winning the National. I genuinely feel sorry for the beleaguered Wenger, now with more lines in his world-weary face than the London Underground. His recent press interviews are excruciating to watch, as his

AND NOW, THE END IS NEAR…

(hey, the Brummies are coming Saturday, and there’s always someone worse off than yourselves, eh?). To me, the litmus test evidence of failure was the football world’s watching of Van Persie leaving to join (one of) Arsenal’s bitterest rivals at Old Trafford, so seamlessly you couldn’t see the join, teaming up with the likes of Wayne Rooney to help put United in the driving seat this season with his assists and Gooner question: would golden goals– how galling you rather have your boring, for the Gooners was that? boring George Graham-style Since those great Man Uteam back with yer famous equalling days, also-ran ‘roped-together’ back four, Arsenal have sunk so low goals nicked by Ian Wright- that sorry, Arsene’s time is Wright, winning leagues and up at the Emirates - he’s had FA Cups, or your stylish-but- long enough to sort it all out. I hear Jose’s booking a cabinet-empty Wenger teams of today, with a back- one-way ticket to Stansted four nobody can name, a from Madrid. Close the door dodgy goalkeeper, inconsis- on the way out, Arsene - but tent midfield and a willy- hey, man - you did it yoouur wonty Theo Walcott-type way! attack? As a nosey neutral with a healthy, barely-concealed contempt for the boring-but- Sporting Gijon 0 Elche 2 successful mob (Denis CLASSY Elche scored two Bergkamp excepted), I do and conceded none as the like Arsene’s artisans’ Illicitanos took another step artistry, but unlike some other towards La Liga. On 15 minnameless teams the Gooner utes an inswinging corner fans have tasted success was stabbed in by Coro to and can still remember what put Elche ahead, then it feels like – just. Elche’s Aaron and Trejo of It’s a shame to watch the Sporting were sent off. likes of Robin van Persie, On the hour Coro scored Cesc Fabregas, Sami Nasri his second, ensuring Elche et al departing bitterly, clearly storm back to 12 points clear aching to win something - at the top - can anyone catch even if it’s the Capital One the Illicitanos now with 16 Cup, Liverpool-style. I s’pose games to go? Clean sheet those ga-ga Gooners’ll feel for the fourth consecutive better if Bradford win on match and still marching Sunday, that way they were along at the top – it’s Huesca beaten by a team that also at home on Sunday. put out Wigan and Aston Villa Mucho Elche!

Is poor old Arsene facing the final curtain? temper and patience are put to the test with detestable reporters asking questions that really deserve a smack in the teeth. But the sad sap still seems to rise to the bait, pointing out his teams have always been there, like a perennial bridesmaid to a succession of trophy brides, but always dropping the bouquet afterwards. The embarrassing list of banana skins jumps easily to mind to taunt the Gunners’ loy-

alists, how those supporters must wish to draw big names in cup-ties, not play minnows who relish razoring such superb scalps, those with everything to gain but nowt to lose. Gooners must be waking up in the middle of the night this season with their replica kit pyjamas soaked in sweat as they nightmarishly relive watching their team humiliatingly conceding bad goals, with the ghosts of Lee Dixon, Nigel Winterburn, Steve Bould/Martin Keown and the statued Highbury hero Tony Adams watching and wincing wearily at Arsene’s inability to Do-Something-About-It.

Third time lucky for Jose ITV Orihuela RFC 13 Albacete 12 ITV Orihuela completed an impressive double over Albacete – by the narrowest of margins. And the man they had to thank was goalkicker Jose, who turned from villain to hero by landing the decisive penalty from a position he had twice failed from earlier in the game. It was Albacete that struck first with a penalty, but straight after Orihuela, putting pressure on the opposition, caught their opponents offside for Jose to even

the score. Yellow cards and blood injuries littered a first half which ended all square. But then discipline started to let Orihuela down and they suddenly found themselves 9-3 down. This season has already shown that they are not a team to sit back and take it, though – and an excellent break out defence saw Alvin break through some weak tackles and go threequarters the

length of the pitch to score under the posts. Jose converted to put Orihuela back into the lead again at 10-9, only for them to lose composure again with eight minutes to go – and give the lead back to Albacete. Orihuela mounted their final push and when an Albacete player was caught holding on, Jose popped over the winning kick from inside the 10 metre line.

TWO-COROS WORLD

Every Day’s a Denia deny Torry at death Football Day Torrevieja 1 Denia 1

With literally the last kick of the game, Denia scored with a 95th minute 35-yard free kick to win an unlikely and undeserved point and deny Torry a 100% record at the Nelson Mandela stadium, writes JEFF SCOTT. This draw keeps Torry far too close for comfort to the relegation group in 15th position and is all the more dismaying in that they should have won the match by a wide margin. Cuco Ros volleyed home their only goal but misses from Abel, Juanfran, Gasch and Patri left fans gasping in frustration. You can only imagine what manager Joserra was

doing! To rub salt into the wound, key striker Koeman was fouled in the first half and limped around painfully before being replaced at half time. He is definitely out of the trip to Saguntino on Saturday, where the hosts will be looking to enhance their seventh-place status. Torry can point to poor refereeing, extended time added on and bad luck, but in truth, they should have won this tie long before the final whistle. They are making life hard for themselves and almost intolerable for their supporters. Something from this weekend, now is urgent. Follow the team's progress on Twitter - @fctorrevieja_of

Early goal heads off Saints Crevillente Deportivo B 1 Sporting de San Fulgencio 0

AN early goal from Crevillente's centreback was enough to earn his side a vital three points against a hard-working but ultimately poor San Fulgencio, writes JORDAN LUCAS. The hosts took the lead when keeper Jose Navarro was outjumped by the impressive No.17, who saw his header nestle into the bottom corner just before the 10-minute mark.

The Saints’ first attempt on target didn't arrive until the 20th minute, Braulio Garcia’s shot fly high and wide soon after. Crevillente, who have been struggling this season, could have added a second when a floated free-kick bounced past everyone and hit the top of the crossbar. In the last 10 minutes, player-man-

ager Gary Williams had a wonderful chance to level - watching in agony as his lob landed on the roof of the net. But the home team went even closer when a firm header smashed back off the crossbar. San Fulgencio’s next game is against Hondon Nieves on Sunday at 12 noon.

February 25th 1950 A crowd of 70,305 see Tottenham’s home game against Southampton, a record for a match outside the top division. 26th 1972 Chelsea release ‘Blue is the Colour’ The song was not, as is commonly believed, an FA Cup final record for the 1970 final but a League Cup final record for the match versus Stoke City, which the Blues lost 2-1. 27th 1989 Newport County are wound up. To add insult to injury, the club are then expelled from the GM Vauxhall Conference for failing to fulfil all their fixtures. 28th 1996 Bernard Ryan from Penhill is Swindon Town’s mascot for the day. Nothing unusual in that you might think, except Bernard was a sprightly 56 years old when he led the team out. 29th 1992 Some 200 West Ham fans invade the pitch during the league match versus Everton. This action was in protest at the club’s proposed bond scheme which asked fans to pay between £300-£800 for the right to purchase season tickets. Compiled by STUART EVANS

Friday, February 22, 2013

DON’T MENTION THE SCORE!

Sorry, Arsenal (and Chelsea) but mighty Munich are the masters

YEAH, all right, so Arsenal got tanked at home at the Emirates, but Bayern Munich are really the unofficial European Champions (sorry Chelsea, but they are). Currently they are the cream of the German Bundesliga, top by 15 points and beaten only once in 22 this season. They hadn’t even conceded a goal in six games since December 14, and that was a penalty, eight if you count open play. Half the national side play for them, and they even bring on subs like Arjen Robben, who’d walk into (almost) any Premier League side. Arsenal? Good on paper, caca on grass… defence half asleep, two down in 20 minutes, good-looking midfield with Jack Wilshere, Santi Cazorla and Mikel Arteta, but the attack is lightweight since Robin van Persie went. Theo Walcott is not the answer, he’s still too inconsistent. Support? My hearing’s not good, eh? - but the Highbury Library was silenced by the terrific Teutonic tones transmitting all round the Emirates. Arsenal did pull one back, and at 1 – 2 down Arteta missed a sitter before Bayern rubbed it in with a third, and you would-

John McGregor reports

n’t give Arsenal a prayer in the second leg. So what did we expect on Tuesday? Chelsea v Barcelona/Bayern all over again? NB, in football though, miracles do happen, ask Arsene about Bradford (and don’t mention Blackburn). Silly question: why’s Pep Guardiola going to Bayern? From my two-point-five decades spent in sales I thought it’s always best to take over from someone who’s doing badly - then the only way you can go is up. Seems to me the only thing Pep can really do better is win the Champions League, that’s if Bayern haven’t won it by the time he gets there. Knock-out joke: two flies playing football in a saucer. One says ‘We’d better play better than this next week’. ‘Why?’ says the other. ‘Cos we’re playing in the Cup!’ In the FA Cup the two massive Mancunian maestros, plus wayward Wigan, and Chelsea-and-Everton-if-theywin-their-replays-with-Middlesbrough-and-Oldham respectively all avoided any slippery banana skins, the sort that have been lying lately on North London streets. The other three in the sixth round are Millwall, Blackburn and Barnsley, t’ latter trying to keep oop wi’ neighbours Bradford to go all t’way - and why not? With apologies to ‘Boro the plum tie looks like Man Utd v Chelsea - wonder if Mark Clattenburg’s reffing? Jammy old Man City’ll probably save Roberto

Mancini’s skin and season if they beat Barnsley. The keep-it-Lancashire clash is Everton/Oldham v Wigan, with Millwall v Blackburn an outside bet – and who knows in the Cup? Premier League? Shush youse (silence of the lambs), but post Baggiegate Liverpool bounced back to thrash Swansea 5 -0, Brendan Rodgers’ old boys nursing Sunday’s Capital One concerns. Some interesting matches this weekend, on Saturday afternoon Quite Probably Related fans need to hide behind the settee at tea-time as United are in town, Manchester’s main men in mean mood after their reserves Royally removed Reading from the Cup on Monday. But hey, this is football, anything can happen - remember Hereford and Newcastle? Arsenal v Bradford/Blackburn/Wrexham (delete where applicable) – now don’t start that again! Super Sunday sees Man City v Chelsea at t’Etihad, neither must lose or Spalian heads could roll. Newcastle v Southampton also looks interesting, both in the recent resurgent region. Cardiff lost at home to Brighton but are still five points clear in The Championship with a game in hand. All over bar the shouting aqui en Espana where Barcelona boast 12 points over Atletico, and 16 over Real. Where’s Mourinho going, can’t believe he’s staying in Madrid?