Week 122 by TKO UK

Edition 122

www.thecourier.es

Friday, June 21, 2013

BUMPER CON

Scam merchants nab 92 year old man’s cash and mementoes By Alex Trelinski

INSIDE TODAY

Opportunist thieves left a woman and her registered blind father penniless, by stealing all of their money, documents, and irreplaceable mementoes from their car, with a family member having to fly to Spain to bail them out. Patricia Delaney, from County Meath in Ireland, had arrived at Alicante Airport with her 92 year old dad, Patrick Donnelly for a two week break at her house in San Luis, Torrevieja. After picking up their hire car, they were just five minutes from their destination, as they were travelling through Aguas Nuevas late on the night of Sunday June 9th. “It was all part of a plan,” said Patricia. “I was rearended by a cream-coloured saloon car. I felt a bump,

and got out to see if there had been any damage. There wasn’t any to my car, or to the one that had hit me. But, with it being half-eleven at night, I felt very vulnerable, and I just got the feeling that something was wrong”. Patricia’s suspicions were proved to be correct, as the

driver wandered over to her, muttering some words in Spanish. He was then joined by two men that she had not spotted in the first place. One of them stood behind her next to the driver’s door, whilst the other went to a back passenger door, which he opened and then

snatched a handbag from the back seat. The men rushed back to their car, which then sped off towards Torrevieja. Patricia’s bag contained all their travel documents including passports, as well as her keys to

Continued on Page 3

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Friday, June 21, 2013

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

This is a photo on a stall at Orihuela Medieval Market. You have heard of "where's Wally". Well this is "where's Smilie"? by LES WILTON

JAIL BECKONS FOR COSTA FRAUDSTERS FIVE members of a Costa del Sol gang run by self-confessed criminal, Toni Muldoon, have been found guilty of involvement in a €6.6 million escort and debt recovery scam. People were conned into signing up to act as ‘non-sexual’ companions with the promise of earning up to 700 Euros a day. Clients paid an upfront fee of over 400 Euros but never received any work At least 14 thousand people were conned by Muldoon’s schemes,

with the conman pleading guilty to the charges. He also admitted to masterminding another scam in which the group ‘coldcalled’ people, promising to wipe out any debts they had. Mark Bell, Colin Samuels, and Geraldine French, Christopher Taylor, and Bradley Rogers were each convicted of two counts of conspiracy to defraud at Ipswich Crown Court. Sentencing will take place next month, with Judge Rupert Overbury

telling the convicted, including Muldoon, that jail sentences were inevitable. Rogers, who chose the names for the escort websites and organized adverts in papers such as the Daily Star, is said to have received over £750,000 into his account. It has also emerged that Taylor, a retired West Yorkshire detective, had documents on his computer regarding his boss under the title of ‘Born to be a Costa Conman’.

Toni Muldoon

SANTA POLA FIRE

Two people suffered second degree burns and two were treated for shock after a Santa Pola house fire on Tuesday evening. Over a dozen firefighters were called in to deal with the ground floor blaze in a property on Soledad Street.

The Italian job PAXO GOES

LOCAL buyers who thought they’d got a bargain with some great prices for electronic and computer gear got a nasty shock as all they received in return for their cash were bags of salt and soap! Two Italian men were arrested by the Guardia Civil, as they operated in Formentera del Segura.

Last month, a man told the authorities that the men were in the street selling a laptop, two mobile phones, and a tablet. The buyer thought he was onto a real steal of a deal as he paid them 210 Euros for the whole lot. He was given a laptop briefcase, with all the goods, only to find out later that he

bought a very expensive bag of salt. Two days later, a Torrevieja man was approached by the fraudsters in Formentera, and was offered some gear for 700 Euros. He went to the police, who added his report to the file that they had been building up on the two scammers.

BRITAIN’S man in Madrid is changing. Giles Paxman who’s been the UK Ambassador for the last 4 years is being replaced by Simon Manley. Mr.Manley is currently European Director at the Foreign Office, and takes up his post this October. No reason for the change or news of Mr. Paxman’s future was available to The Courier as it went to press.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap-

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 26° Low 17° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 25 Low 19° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 26° Low 19° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 26° Low 17° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 25° Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 27° Low 18° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Sunny High 23° Low 17° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, June 21, 2013

TWO JAILED IN BABY DEATH TRAGEDY A drunken motorcyclist has been sentenced to two and a half years in jail for hitting a baby buggy in Almoradi nearly six years ago. The child, Julia Pertusa, died from her injuries two years later, never having woken up from a coma. The girl’s aunt, who was pushing the 15 month old baby in the pram, was given a two year sentence for manslaughter, for not looking properly when she crossed the CV914 in August 2007. An Orihuela court also ordered both guilty parties to pay over 100 thousand Euros in compensation to the dead girl’s family, with the court’s April sentencing verdict being made public this week. The biker, Vincente CCR, who had no

JUNKED OFF

insurance or a valid ITV for his Suzuki machine, ran away after a high speed collision with the buggy. That knocked little Julia some 30 feet into the air, as she was flung into some bushes. After emergency treatment at the Vega Baja Hospital, she was transferred to the Alicante General, where she died in December 2009. The aunt, Amparo NR, was with the baby’s mother on that fateful August day, and according to her mother’s testimony, she started to cross the road without looking around, as the speeding motorcycle approached. Julia’s father is reported as saying that he’s not happy with the leniency of the sentences, and that he’s planning to appeal.

12 stolen bronze sculptures said to be worth around 36 thousand Euros have been found in an Alicante junkyard. Two Moroccans have been arrested in connection with the thefts, which were from a local sculptor’s house. Police also found some 5 thousand Euros of stolen copper at the junkyard, which is owned by the suspects.

LIGHTS OUT Blame it on the Sandwich ban IN ROJALES Sat Nav?

STREET lighting in the Rojales area is set to be cut as the authority is over 600 thousand Euros in the red. The 7 thousand lights across the area’s 200 miles of roads have caused a big electricity budget overspend, and Mayor Antonio Perez is looking for savings. An 8 month energy audit, costing 20 thousand Euros has been commissioned to see what can be done. Perzez says that in Quesada virtually every home seemed to have its own lamppost and questioned the need for that. He added that the Council was keen to introduce more energy saving bulbs, but that some of the older lampposts were not suited to new technology, and that it would be an expensive to convert them all

The Guardia Civil have arrested a British man for driving on the wrong side of a dual carriageway route in the Murcia region. The 69 year old from Almeria blissfully travelled for some 23 kilometres on the RM2 road between Alhama de Murcia and Cartagena during the night, heading towards Alhama, but on the Cartagena carriageway. Guardia officers blocked off the road, after emergency calls from other drivers who took appropriate avoiding action. The man was arrested for dangerous driving.

mementoes of his family, including that of his late wife.” Patricia was so shaken by the experience that she could barely drive to San Luis, and when she got there, she realised that she could not get into her house. A neighbour helped by calling the police and a locksmith was brought out at 2am, who charged 210 Euros for new locks. She made a full statement to the police on the Monday, with the help of a translator, and though they were sympathetic and professional,

certain that I travel during the daytime, not matter how much more it costs. I’ll also never stop again if I’m hit by a car, despite what impact that might have on the insurance!” Patricia and her father are travelling to the Irish Consulate in Alicante today(Friday June 21st) to get temporary papers which will allow them to board their return Aer Lingus flight to Dublin this Sunday. “At least we’ve managed to chill out over the last few days”, commented Patricia, “and what has happened to us does serve as a warning to everybody to be as safe and secure as they possibly can at all times”

BUMPER CON

From Page 1 her Irish and San Luis homes, charge cards, and 3 thousand Euros in cash. “It was a horrific experience, and most of the stolen money had been saved up by my father from his pension as a holiday treat”, Patricia told The Courier. “He was understandably very upset and flustered at what happened, and only a year ago he had been robbed whilst visiting the San Miguel market. His personal wallet was taken, which included priceless

they did not hold out much hope of tracking down the gang. With no money, Patricia’s daughter, Charlene, had to make an emergency flight from Dublin the following Thursday (June 13th) to bring over some cash. “The neighbours have been brilliant over helping us out”, added Patricia, “but all of this has changed my attitude to things around here. I’ve travelled here a lot alone and I just don’t feel as safe as I used to. I should never have taken such a late flight, and so in the future I’ll make

Santa Pola has launched a crackdown on unauthorised sandwich advertising boards that are put on the town’s pavements. The council say they are fed up with illegal obstructions being caused to baby buggies or wheelchairs, with shop owners facing fines of up to 750 Euros if the boards are not removed. The council are also worried about winds blowing over the boards and injuring pedestrians, who then choose to sue the council as a third party.

Guardia muscle in on drugs ring FOUR Mar Menor doctors have been arrested on suspicion of distributing illegal drugs, mainly anabolic steroids. The Guardia Civil believe that up to thirty people in the Murcia region could be involved, but only eight arrests have been made so far, includ-

ing that of a local police officer. Principally used by body builders, the drugs were sold for between 50 and 100 Euros, with authorities believing that some 21 pharmacies were also involved in the clandestine drugs ring

Friday, June 21, 2013

SEE YOU IN BLUE ANGELS COURT LIONEL REACH OUT A JUDGE has summoned Barcelona footballer Lionel Messi to appear in court on September 17th over tax fraud allegations. The 25-year-old Argentine, who has four times been named World Player of the Year, and his father are accused of defrauding the Spanish authorities of more than 4m euros (£3.4m). They are suspected of using companies abroad - in Belize and Uruguay - to sell the rights to use Messi's image. They both deny the allegations. Messi's net salary from Barcelona is said to be about 16m euros a year, making him one of the world's most highly-paid sportspeople. He has also signed multi-million-dollar endorsements with commercial sponsors around the world. The player and his father, Jorge, are accused of three times defrauding the Spanish state of taxes. The income related to his image rights included contracts with Banco Sabadell, Danone, Adidas, Pepsi-Cola, Proctor and Gamble and the Kuwait Food Company. If he is convicted, Messi could face up to six years in prison and a big fine.

REACH OUT, Torrevieja’s homeless charity, got a healthy boost from the Blue Angels bikers who swelled their coffers to the tune of over 600 Euros this week. Local shops and businesses gave generously to the bikers, who were part of the official opening celebrations for the charity’s drop in centre on Monday. Based on Calle Bella Antonia, next to the Friday Market site, the team have more than doubled their work in less than two years, as they continue to try to make a difference within the community. Reach Out’s President Karolina Leonard greeted the guests who included Torrevieja’s Councillor for Foreigners and Education, Rosario Martinez, as well as Pastor Rafael

Restrebo of Torrevieja’s International Christian Assembly. They were given a tour of the building and had a chance to meet with some of the volunteers and fund raising groups. Mrs. Leonard thanked everyone for their hard work, adding that she hoped that their next opening day would be when they could launch a much needed homeless shelter for Torrevieja. Mayor Eduardo Dolon visited the centre yesterday (Thursday), having to postpone his original Monday engagement, because he went instead to Alicante for the celebrations surrounding the launch of the new high speed train service to Madrid.

STAND AND DELIVER Cops stamp out gang

ATM style-machines are being installed by the Valencian Government to charge tourists and non-EHIC card holders for health treatment. Valencian Health Minister, Manuel Llombart, says that some 25 machines are being tested at health centres and hospitals in tourist areas around the region, including

16 in Alicante Province. Benidorm appears to be strongly singled out for attention, though the Elche General Hospital and the Santa Pola integrated health centre are also on the list. Llombart has suggested that 5 million Euros a year could be raised through the new machines.

TEN people have been arrested, accused of stealing farm machinery in Alicante Province, and shipping it out to Romania. The Guardia Civil and National Police nabbed the men, nine of whom were Romanian, in a joint operation. Further arrests have not been ruled out, with the accused men allegedly stealing from farms

mainly in the Alcoy area. Police impounded a lorry which had four tractors on it; 2 thousand litres of diesel; along with cutters, chainsaws, televisions as well as suitcases with clothes in them. An Alcoy house was also was raided, where a double-barrelled shotgun and a telescopic rifle was recovered

Old Macdonald’s busy

A 12 strong burglary gang, which included a young teenager, has been arrested by the National Police. They operated across Alicante Province and have been charged with ten offences. Alicante City was their main target, with police saying that the gang was a wellstructured professional outfit with each of the team having a particular task from identifying houses and shops, through to carrying out the thefts, and then organising the distribution of the loot, which included a number of stamp collections.

KEEPING IT Dog gone ZIPPED

Spain’s recession seems to have caused the birth rate to fall by nearly 13 per cent in the last 4 years. The National Statistics Institute say that the number of child-bearing women has also been steadily falling, whilst the Grim Reaper has been hard at work. The number of deaths leapt up last year by 4.6 per cent: - the largest rise in ten years.

A man has been devoured by his two pitbull terriers after dying in his home in the El Mola area of Madrid. The dead body had been lying there for three days. A woman named Almudena found the body of her boyfriend, 34 year old Ángel Javier C.M. on the bed in his room partially devoured by the dogs. Police said there was no

sign of any crime and an autopsy carried out last Sunday showed that the man had died of a heart attack. Because his face was ripped apart by the dog bites, several tests had to be done to confirm its identity. The magistrate refused to green light a funeral until the man’s identity was medically confirmed.

Tapa in La Mata

Torrevieja’s La Mata area is staging its first exclusive Tapas route this weekend. 24 bars and restaurants are involved with the event which runs until Sunday.

Safe dipping

Beach patrols have been upped in recent days as the tourist season gets into full gear. Torrevieja council signed a new deal with Cruz Roja to patrol their coastline from last weekend, whilst Orihuela leaders have inked a new two year contract with the Ambuiberica company. It’s claimed that some of the more dangerous spots like La Zenia will have better cover than before, and there’ll also be improvements made to beach facilities around the coast including Mil Palmeras and Playa Flamenca.

MUCHO FAILURES DE COCHES Nearly one in five cars failed their ITV, the Spanish equivalent of a British MOT test last year. A total of just under 6 million cases of serious safety faults were found dur-

ing ITV testing, and close to a million were sorted quickly so that the vehicles would go on to pass the examination. The number of cars that failed the exam was at 18.5 per cent lower compared to 2011, but the amount of dangerous problems did rise by 4.5 per cent.

DUMPY OLD GRAN’S SPONSORED DIET

Time for a slice of humble pie I’VE a confession to make - I don’t think I’ll be making a celebration splash in my new swimwear on July 1. I know I promised I’d get 16 kilos off my blubbery frame between January and June...but this last few pounds is simply refusing to depart. I blame it on the hospitality of my two daughters (well, somone has to be TOTAL LOSS, 20 WEEKS the scapegoat!) though I knew it would be difficult to keep the momentum going during my latest visit to the UK. In the event, this week’s (2st 2.3lbs - or 30.3lbs) official weigh-in at the January 10th - 93.2 kilos Beauty and Wellness June 19th - 79.5 kilos Centre in Puebo Bravo Target weight - 77.2 kilos confirmed that I trimmed To target - 2.3 kilos off 600 grams during my 13-day trip - taking me below 80 kilos but leaving an unrealistic task in the immediate future. The challenge is to lose another 2.3 kilos in the final 12 days of my battle of the bulge. And since I have no desire to chop off one of my hands, all I can do is continue the diet until the scales hit that magical figure of 77.2 kilos. The original target was to shed 16 kilos/2st 7lb of my 93.2 kilo/14st 9lb blubber, so I don’t think I’ve done badly. Try lifting 14 kilos of shopping and you’ll understand why I feel so much better. However, this final couple of kilos represents the difference between delight an despair. My selfimposed penance is that the diet regime will continue until I hit that magical target of 77.2 kilos. And that means loads more salad days until midJuly at least. I just hope it’s July 2013 not 2014! - DONNA GEE

13.7 kilos

Friday, June 21, 2013

SPAIN TOP FOR BRIT CHEATS With an estimated 800,000 Britons living in Spain, it’s the number one country in the world for Britons committing ‘benefit fraud abroad’. More allegations are made about people living in Spain whilst continuing to receive UK benefits than in any other country where British expatriates live. So investigators from the Department of Work and Pensions have made a fresh appeal to British expats to shop anyone they suspect of fraudulently claiming UK benefits whilst living in Spain, to help stop taxpayers’ money being wasted on benefit thieves when it could be spent on public services such as hospitals and schools. Married couple Peter and Marilyn Flanders from Exmouth, Devon lied to benefit officials about having no income or property in order to claim a variety of means-tested UK benefits including housing and council tax benefit. The couple owned a Spanish villa that, if declared, would have made them

ineligible for the benefits. In total they had fraudulently claimed over £30,000 of UK taxpayers’ money. They were given confiscation orders and ordered to repay the money they had stolen or face imprisonment. David Freud, Minister for Welfare Reform, said: “Taxpayers’ money should be going to the people who need it most, not lining the pockets of criminals. The vast majority of British people overseas are law abiding. But those who are fraudulently claiming benefits while living abroad are committing a crime. We are determined to put a stop to it.” Investigators say the three most common types of benefit fraud in Spain involve people who are on mean-tested benefits who go abroad but fail to declare their absence; people who have undeclared property abroad; and people who are working while claiming sickness benefits. In Spain, claims for Income Support or Pension Credit are the most frequently investigated for fraud.

Dual call for N332 TORREVIEJA business leaders have called on the Valencian President, Alberto Fabra, to turn the N332 road around the city into a dual-carriageway. It’s estimated that some 36 million Euros are needed to upgrade the single carriageway section around Torrevieja, despite improvements in recent years, north and south of the city. Fabra, along with his Economic minister, Max Buch, met 50 local representatives, who stated the economic importance for Torrevieja and the Vega Baja area in upgrading the N332, which they claim is used by 30 thousand vehicles a day during the summer months. They’ve also demanded that a shuttle link be created with the new high speed AVE train service at Alicante.

NOISY WELCOME

Alicante’s new high speed AVE train link to Madrid entered service this week, some six years later than planned, with noisy protests greeting the first official travellers. Prince Philip of Asturias and Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy travelled from the capital to Alicante on the first train, and heard some noisy anti-corruption demonstrators outside the station. Some fifteen hundred protestors threw stones at the police, with one officer being injured, with four eventually arrested. In the official speeches, Prince Philip said that the launch of the AVE service was a major economic boost for the Valencia and Murcia regions, whilst the Valencian President, Alberto Fabra, boldly

promised that high speed trains would be extended to Castellon in the north of the region by 2015. No completion dates for extensions towards Elche, Orihuela or Murcia City were given, whilst speculation continues over the site for Elche, which may still be

at the El Altet airport. Train operator RENFE has estimated that train travellers between Alicante and Madrid will rise by forty per cent, with 53 thousand tickets sold for the new line by last Monday. There will be nine services a day between Alicante and the Spanish capital.

Friday, June 21, 2013

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

FROM PRIDE TO NEGLECT Enough words, it’s time for action in Orihuela Costa

ON June 7 I sent the letter below to Martina Scheurer. She replied the same day to say she had been away and would look in to both matters and get back to me. I have heard nothing It isn't just Calle Escorpiones that is being neglected. I’ve had it pointed out to me the other areas of Orihuela Costa that are usually attended to and haven't been touched for a year or so. Orihuela Costa looks bad enough with half-built buildings and waste land which is beginning to be dumped on. There are areas where feral cats are being fed and waste food is being left out to rot. We were promised so much by Ms. Scheurer. Who can tell me when the area will be looked after and who can tell me where the taxes are going to? I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels frustrated that after 10 years or more from Orihuela Costa being established as a new cosmopolitan region it is gradually turning in to an expat ghetto that no one in a government position cares to deal with. We really haven't moved very far forward. IRENE SKIDMORE Dear Ms Scheurer, I am going to begin by asking you, are you proud of where you live? The coastal area of the beautiful city of Orihuela, the capital of the Veja Baja region. Orihuela Costa, the beaches and cosmopolitan part of Orihuela, is where I live. I used to be proud of where I live. I believed the councillors were going to work hard and make an area as beautiful as Orihuela city. I have read a lot this year of what you, Martina Scheurer, intend to do to improve the area. You talk the talk of improving the infrastructure and beaches of Orihuela Costa. I live on Calle Escorpiones, probably one of the major roads in Orihuela years of being attended to, Costa. Over the past couple of months new road signs has been so badly neglected have been put up on the 332 - and what do you intend to to depict Calle Escorpiones. about it now and in the I have a beautiful view in future? It is not only for aesthetic the distance from my apartment and have recently reasons but also for reasons spent a large amount of of safety to pedestrians. money to improve my home Within a tree is a pedestrian crossing sign. The top of the and enjoy the view. Unfortunately these pic- road has little growth as the tures show my immediate watering system is broken. view and the dangers of liv- When it did work it went on to ing on what is now a very the road and not the plants. I have been in England main road. caring for my terminally I would like to know why this road, after seven or eight ill father On Tuesday June 4

MARTINA SCHEURER’S REPLY

We need time, Mrs Skidmore! MRS SKIDMORE wrote to me on June 7. I answered on the SAME DAY the following text: “Hello Irene, Only a quick answer to your email to let you know that I will look into it as I do not know the official background of the story (which I think has to do with reception etc.) Being away for a few days, I just wanted to make sure that you know I will follow it up.’’ I have been away from the 8th to the 12th. Orihuela Costa has more than 30,000 registered inhabitants, far more are actually living here. The administration is terribly slow and many things are difficult to investigate and take time. Apart from this, I receive many emails, attend meetings and have a very full schedule. Even those things which are easy, take their administrative time. I took over on February 5. Did Mrs. Skidmore ever have direct contact with one of the previous councillors? Did she get a quick answer? What happened with Orihuela Costa in those nine years that she is living here? The lady in the Padrón is there since many years - is it now even my fault if she had a bad day or might have been rude? True, it should not happen. But to read that Mrs. Skidmore is asking if this has anything to do with me by any chance, is simply incredible to me. MARTINA SCHEURER Excmo. Ayuntamiento Orihuela; Concejala Delegada de Costa, Playas, Residentes Internacionales y Transporte

I beg your Padron? My rude awakening

I went to the ayuntamiento in Playa Flamenco, with a letter asking me if I was still a resident of Spain.I was directed to the 'Padron' office, where there were two women sitting at desks. I approached the woman closest to the door and showed her the letter saying, "I have received this..." Before I could finish she said to me in very abrupt manner, " Passport and copy. Residencia and copy!" I said, "What do you mean?" She repeated but

shouted at me the second time. I was aghast and asked her if she was always so rude to people. She replied, “That is the rule’’. Passport and copy ,residencia and copy.’’ I said no more but when I turned and began to walk out of the room, this woman threw up her arms to her colleague shouting "Madre Mia!’’ I turned back and said "No, it should be me saying Madre Mía! You are a very rude person."I am not easily intimidated but this woman, I have

never met the like of, working in a public office! The staff are there to serve and help the public. These people are in a public office and should be carrying out a customer service role. Emphasis on the service! I went to the kiosk in Mercadona, got my copies and returned to the Padron office. I was about 10 minutes. On my return the same woman was eating a banana and chatting to two women who were obviously there on

social call. Had the other "customer service" assistant been occupied I no doubt would have had to wait. I have lived in Orhiuela Cost for nine years. I speak a certain amount of Spanish and try very hard to be part of the community. I have never in that time had cause to complain. Tell me, what is happening to the place I love? Is it anything to do with you, by any chance? IRENE SKIDMORE Calle Escorpiones

MAKING A MEAL OF IT: RESTAURANT OWNER’S HARD CELL I CAN totally feel for Geoff Cox and Bridget Keys (Issue 121) and ‘A Whole Lot of Trouble’ in Granada. It is very difficult to be able to ascertain what items are on a bill from some Spanish restaurants in whatever part of the country you happen to be, because they never itemise things. But, and I state BUT, whatever they had to eat the waiter should have noted a table number for these items. He is at fault, not the couple. This thing happens quite a lot in other restaurants

and I myself always check a bill and to me it is irrelevant if three cups of coffee are charged for and we have only had two, I would still stand my ground and insist that the restaurant is wrong. This couple did the right thing. What has happened to them is appalling and it makes Spain look a horrible place to visit and I do not blame them for never wanting to return. As for compensation for damages, €700 is nothing, they should fight for double that amount for the shame

of having their names put into a newspaper for something they did not do. The police over here do not know how to treat people because I have heard of other people not receiving any food or drink during a stay in the cells. This is barbaric. Come on, the restaurant owner was trying it on with this couple and should spend some time in the cells himself, then he would know how it feels. But he won't because he was probably Spanish. CAROL SEAR

Friday, June 21, 2013

A LAUGH CAN HELP ON THE TOPIC OF CANCER I’VE always felt the best antidote to ill health is humour. Indeed, my funny bone would be the last part of my body to get the elbow. Yet when the haematologist squirmed uncomfortably behind his hospital desk last week and hinted that the Big C might be after my blood, my corpuscles cried out for a gin and tonic, not a grin and comic. I’d often wondered how I would feel if I were told I had cancer. Would I break down in tears? Would I freeze with shock? Would I get that horrible empty feeling in my gut? The reality is that I felt nothing, because the news was delivered, not as a worrying development, but as an unlikely possibility following the discovery of a minor kidney abnormality. “I’m confident it is not serious,’’ was the doc’s prognosis - well, the prognosis for my ears anyway. However, since that discussion my head has begun to fill with negativity. It’s illogical, but I’m actually beginning to believe this saga could be the death of me. Literally. I’m not due to see the haematologist

again until late August (which seems to confirm he is not particularly concerned). But in the back of my mind is that the phone will ring and I’ll be told my days are numbered. I’ve yet to receive the results of the skeletal Xrays and Ultrasound scan taken before I saw the haematologist. Or of the bone marrow biopsy carried out at his request a couple of days after our conversation. But my jocular bravado is just a front - an attempt to shrug off my worries and pretend that even the worst-case scenario doesn’t

bother me. Many people I know are either being treated for cancer or in remission, and all are dealing with the situation with great dignity and courage. And none more so than Tina Richmond, sister of El Raso bar owner Steven Richmond, whose cheery smile amazed me as she openly discussed her terminal illness for an article in this newspaper. I think I coped pretty well when I was diagnosed with angina and then Parkinson’s disease. I also find that joking about my health problems makes me feel better. I get plenty of laughs (and groans) when I tell people: ‘’If the Parkinson’s gets any worse, I’m getting my own BBC chat show.’’ And of my three coronary angioplasties, all carried out under national health schemes, I like to boast: “I still have more money than stents.’’ The only person who ever got away with joking about cancer is Bob Monkhouse. A few weeks before he died, the late, great comedian told Michael Parkinson about his most recent appointment with his doctor.

“I’m afraid I have bad news,’’ said the doc. “The cancer has spread to all your vital organs.’’ “Be honest, doc,’’ said Bob, who is pictured with Parky at the show. “How long have I got?’’ “About ten’’ said the doctor. “Ten what? Weeks? Months?” The doctor looked at his watch. “Nine, eight, seven, six…’’ It may be the most sensitive subject of all, but Bob clearly felt that linking a tumour with humour is acceptable when the afflicted person is yourself. If the worst comes to the worst, I would love to think I could be half as courageous - if only because crying about dying only makes things worse. They say its pointless to take anything in this world too seriously because there’s no chance of anyone getting out alive. Unless you are Woody Allen, that is. “I don't want to achieve immortality through my work,’’ is the American movie legend’s philosophy on life. “I want to achieve it through not dying.’’ No chance - but I killed myself laughing.

Friday, June 21, 2013

STAMP TALK TAKES A LICKING 'TWO first-class postage stamps, please,' I requested when it got to my turn at the counter. 'But this is a public house,' pointed out Dave the barman. 'I know that!' I said. 'I was just wondering if you could spare me a couple of stamps. It would save me schlepping all the way to t h e post

office.' 'Lazy beggar,' Ol' Red Eyes growled at me as he awoke from one of his customary deep slumbers. 'The post office is merely yards away from this pub. Even the laziest sloth with ingrowing toenails could walk there in a few seconds.' I coughed loudly so that the oldest and sleepiest member of our hostelry's discussion group would stay awake long enough to hear my reply. 'The post office WAS next door to the pub. It

moved 15 years ago.' Ol' Red Eyes shrugged. 'I must get out more,' he said before sliding off his bar stool onto the floor. Daft Barry, who had been playing darts against himself and losing every game, set down his set of arrows into Indoor Lou's upturned baseball cap on the bar top and sidled over to me. 'You're wanting two stamps? I wish I had two people I could write to.' 'Don't sell yourself short,

Barry,' I said, clapping him on the back. 'I'm sure you have lots of friends who'd be only too pleased to receive a letter from you.' 'Thanks for that,' mumbled Daft Barry. 'But my friends are either gathered in this pub every day so there's no need to write to them or they're living in places where they're not allowed letterboxes.' From his vantage point on the floor, Ol' Red Eyes lifted one eyelid and asked: 'So where the hell is the post office these days?' Before relapsing into unconsciousness, he managed to blurt out: 'All things considered, I'm not even sure that sloths have toenails.' Indoor Lou shook his head in disbelief at the way the conversation was going. He downed his drink, dribbling drops down his chin because he was still shaking his head. 'What's the matter, Lou?' I asked. 'You look somewhat disturbed.' 'No more than the rest of you,' he said bitterly. 'Each

time I come in here I swear it will be my last. You are all quite mad. I am convinced you are madder than I was when I stayed at home because I was convinced that shadowy figures were after me.' 'It's always best to ignore the shadowy figures,' I said and everyone in the pub nodded their agreement as if we'd all been in the shadowy figures situation (which, let's face it, most of us had). 'Can we please return to the original subject,' begged Indoor Lou, looking around just in case any shadowy figures had followed him into the pub. 'Why do you need two postage stamps, Dave?' 'Actually,' I explained, 'I'm only writing to one person but I've been instructed to send my letter with a selfaddressed stamped envelope.' Daft Barry scratched his head. 'But surely, if the envelope is self-addressed it means your letter will be delivered to YOUR house. And I don't see the point of

writing to yourself.' Dave the barman called time-out and we took a fiveminute break to purchase another round of assorted watered-down drinks before resuming the discussion. 'The point, dear Barry,' I said, 'is that the selfaddressed stamped envelope goes inside the other envelope which contains the letter I have written. The recipient will put his reply into the self-addressed envelope which will then be delivered to my home.' Daft Barry scratched his head again. 'I still don't get the point. Surely, by definition, the self-addressed envelope should just have the word "Envelope" written on it.' 'That's it! I've had enough!' cried Indoor Lou. He picked up his baseball cap and jammed it on his head. 'Ouch!' he yelled as Daft Barry's discarded darts dug into his scalp. 'Whoops!' I said. 'Daft Barry might not get the point but Indoor Lou certainly has!'

Friday, June 21, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 76 Hi, and welcome back to another sunny week here in Spain, I hope your confidence with Spanish is growing and you are making the most of being here in this fantastic country. I know it's only been five weeks since our last revision week but we are going to have another, the reason for this is that we can only take in so much information before our brains say 'enough' therefore we need constant revision to ensure we are not trying to run before we can walk and that what we are learning we are remembering. There is no point reading my articles every week if that's all that's happening. If none of it is going in then you are not learning Spanish, however, as long as you feel comfortable with the language you will feel more inclined to try. I cannot stress enough the importance of conjugating verbs correctly, so many times do I hear people who have tried to learn Spanish using the completely wrong conjugation and making it difficult to understand who they are talking about, and it doesn't sound very good, therefore I am going to go right back to basics with this first revision section and just conjugate the verb in the present tense, I have written the sentence in Spanish but the verb in the infinitve in English: ensure you know what the whole sentence means and not just how to conjugate the verb: e.g. Tú to dance en clase would be – tú bailas en clase: ¿Ellos to study en la Universidad, Ellos siempre to buy barato, ¿Usted to dance flamenco?, ¿A qué hora to enter en clase (tú)?, ¿Tú to practice algun deporte?, Yo to live solo, Mis hijos to eat mucho, Los domingos

nosotros siempre to read el periodico, Todos los domingos nosotros to eat en un restaurante, Ellos no to live en un palacio.

from England but I am learning Spanish, do we have to walk?, where are you going?, there is a fly in my soup, I can see some white houses, The red shoes are from Spain,

Now we are going to conjugate verbs in the tenses mentioned, you will write the whole sentence in Spanish, I have written it in English. This time there is a combination of all the tenses we have covered so be careful!

Now I am going to write a paragraph in English and you need to translate it into Spanish, take your time: Every day I go to the shop, it is a small shop but it has a lot of things. It has drinks and food, I like the vegetables in the shop because they are always fresh. There is a man who works in the shop. He is very friendly and always happy. We talk about the weather and living in Spain. I like living in Spain very much, it is a hot country and I like the beaches. I think the man in the shop is my friend now but I do not know his name. Next time I go to the shop I will ask him. I like to go to the shop but sometimes I need to go to different shops because I need things that my local shop doesn´t sell. However I will continue to go to my local shop every day.

I have to go to the shop, are you reading the paper now?, I like cars, I wash my hair, my son would go to school but he is ill, I hope that you (tú) are good, don´t go! I don´t believe you, today is the best day of the week, I need a lamp for my bedroom, how many boy are in this class?, there are thirty one, I know how to dance, I won´t follow the rules, I have explained three times I will not explain again, I´m going to the cinema at six o´clock, this newspaper is very interesting, I´m

Remember the most important advice I can give you if you want to be a Spanish speaker is to get the verb conjugations correct and make an attempt at the accent, as you learn pronounciation you should be able to sound more Spanish, but all that work will be lost if you don´t remember the conjugations. Too many people just add the subject pronouns to the ´I´ version of the verb or the infinitive, unless you want to use the ´I´ subject pronoun then the verb must be conjugated differently, we all know by now that tú quiero ir means absolutely nothing, it needs to either be tú quieres ir or yo quiero ir. If you don´t conjugate correctly you may be misunderstood and it will be down to you. Learn your conjugation endings if you´re still not sure and make sure you regularly test yourself, either with my lessons, with the internet or with classes. Take time on this important point and you will be well on your way to speaking fluent Spanish.

Friday, June 21, 2013

DOGS DON’T WANT A QUIET LIFE Many of today’s dogs are unemployed and redundant from their original duties that they were bred for. They still want to work. It is hardwired into their brain to want to please. Imagine how we feel if we are out of work for weeks, or months. We become bored and agitated and this can be how many of the world’s dogs feel today. Take the German Shepherd dog for example. They were bred as a herding and guarding dog. These traits never actually leave them. Out of my six dog’s, two are German Shepherds, Billy and Lola. If we move into a new house, all Billy and Lola are interested in is where the front door is. My other four dogs show no interest as to where the front door is. The reason why Billy and Lola do is because they still and always will have that guarding, protective instinct in them. They want to make sure that they are protecting the entrance to the house at all times. Wherever we live, there they are, laying together, doing what they were bred to do. Even if I walk down the street with Billy, if someone is walking closely behind, he will not like it. He will keep looking around to see what their intentions are. Someone once asked me how do they teach their German Shepherd dog to protect? I said that was like going up to a bricklayer and explaining to them how to lay bricks. They are born with that instinct to want to protect the ones they love as are many dogs. Even walking in the Spanish campo, if my dogs give chase to something, my two German Shepherds always stay with me, leaving the rest to give chase. Some people call

German Shepherds ‘velcro dogs’ and that is why - they always seem attached to your leg. I also have a Border Collie called Pickle. When we use to walk in London, he would try his best to round up London buses! Where he wanted to take them to, who knows, but try he would. That is part of the make-up of a Border Collie. Pedro and Sanchez Rodriguez, my two Spanish rescue dogs are terrier mixes. They are the fly catchers out of my group of dogs because of their tenacious nature. And then there is Ria, my female Spanish rescue dog. Her Mum was a German Shepherd. I know this because she gave birth to Ria and nine other puppies in the rescue centre in Orihuela. Who her Father was we do not know, but my guess is that he was a mixed breed dog, with bits of everything included, considering the box of tricks Ria has turned out to be! So whatever dog you may have, always remember, they were bred to do a job and that job varies, from herding, guarding, hunting, retrieving, pulling and more. All dogs are different when it comes to their exercise needs and stimulation. So don’t go and get a German Shepherd and tie them to a tree and expect them to be happy and guard all day. They need exercise, love and stimulation, as do ALL dogs. Many people go and get a Husky and are then surprised when the dog gets bored and starts to make mischief, because they are given not even nearly enough exercise and stimulation. Before getting any dog, make sure you look at their breed or what breeds they are mixed with and ask

My Collie, Pickle, always want a job yourself if you will be able to satisfy their needs as all dogs are different. Just remember how we feel when we are unemployed and that is how a dog feels everyday if we don’t give them what they need. If there was a job centre for dogs, the queue would be full, all day, every day. Because dogs want to be loved, wanted, needed and be of use to others. Just as we do.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Dillon is a young medium sized boy. He loves children, all people and is okay with cats. He’s very loving and likes to snuggle up on the sofa next to you. He is an intelligent boy so he learns quickly. For more information about Dillon please call 650 304 746

Dillon Sammy is approx 5 months old and followed friends of ours home one evening, he is very affectionate and just wants to curl up on someone's lap. Call: 645 469 253. Sammy Taylor is about 10 weeks old, he has had his first injections he is a lovable playful kitten and he is looking for love He's gorgeous ! Please ring Laurence 680856235

Taylor

APAH's Cattery is full of beautiful cats and kittens like this one. If you can give a cat or kitten a loving home; for many of them, their first home, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563

Suki was heard crying in the bushes close to a house in La Marina, we collected her and placed her in a foster home. She is approx 7 weeks old and loves to be cuddled. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Chanel & Coco 2 female pups rescued from the bins near La Marina Market. Approx 9 weeks old looking for homes.Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Monty is a gorgeous boy! A neutered, chocolate point Siamese type with lovely blue eyes, Monty is about four years old and has all his vaccinations. If you would like to meet Monty please phone Joe (The Cat Man) on 966719272 or speak with Rose inside the shop.

Suki

Chanel & Coco

Monty

EMELI is a 4 month old female crossbreed who came into our care with her litter sister. In their short life they had been living in very poor conditions and were very thin, frightened and covered in ticks. We are now looking for a new home for Emeli where she can live a proper doggy life. 966 710 047

Friday, June 21, 2013

LÍNEA DIRECTA REACHES 2 MILLION CUSTOMERS AND BEATS ITS PROFITS RECORD In clearly difficult economic times, with the insurance sector decreasing for the fourth consecutive year, Línea Directa Aseguradora has closed 2012 with the highest profit levels in its history: 121.5 million euros before tax, representing an increase of 13% on the previous year. There have been three main reasons for this: the sharp rise in the number of customers, effective underwriting risk management and the improvement of all the company’s processes and services, which have enabled it to reduce expenses without diminishing the scope of the cover offered. As a result, the total number of policies, which since last February has exceeded two million, rose by over 105,000 last year, mainly thanks to the Home Insurance Area, which in the 5 years since it was launched, now has over 230,000 policies without having resorted to mergers or acquisitions. The International Area, a strategic business Línea Directa offers its foreign policyholders living in Spain all its services in English and German. As a result, purchasing the policy, making enquiries, dealing with accidents, sending documentation and 24-hour road assistance can all be carried out both in English and German, at a time which suits the policyholder and with only one phone call. In addition, Línea Directa’s International Area offers its policyholders a translation service which they can use for dealing with repairers. The International Area is a key strategic factor for Línea Directa, through which the company offers its foreign customers totally exclusive services, discounts and offers.

Call now: 902 123 104

Friday, June 21, 2013

BEING GAY ISN’T A CHOICE What gives anyone the right to tell another research centre produced figures showing the countries most tolerant and intolerant of homosexuality in the world person how to live their lives? Take gay marriage as an example. Who is to say that two people who love each other can´t show that love in front of their family and friends just because the person they love happens to be the same sex as them? It is the religious people who are up in arms about the change in law that will soon allow homosexuals to marry in church, yet it is these same people of God that count homosexuals among their number, with more and more church members coming out and admitting their homosexuality. It shows how the UK is moving on in terms of acceptance, but why has it taken until the 21st century for this to happen? There have been homosexuals as long as the human race has existed. We are all born how we are, whether we are boy, male or female, gay or straight, with white skin or brown. It’s how we are and one thing we cannot change is our sexuality. I can sit in the sun or put fake tan on and darken my skin. We can even change our sex if we feel we are born in the wrong body, but I have never known anyone suddenly deciding they are gay or straight. There are those who may be confused and those who experiment, but at the end of the day we are born one way or another and it is, as far as I´m concerned, impossible to change even if we would want to. I read that Pakistan has the highest number of Google searches for gay sex, even though it is one of the most homophobic countries in the world! It shows me that if a religion or a government force ideas on people, and the penalty for being against the ideas is imprisonment or even death, the people who have those lives will hide their views and hide their lifestyle. They will instead live out their lives in the only way they feel safe, i.e. on the internet. The Pew

and the country that was shown to be the most accepting is Spain, where 88% of people asked said it should be accepted by society. The UK was in seventh place with 76%, of the population positive towards gay and lesbians. Rejection of homosexuality was shown to be widespread in predominantly Muslim countries and sub-Saharan Africa, as well as parts of Asia and Russia. In Nigeria, only 1% of people questioned stated that it was acceptable to be gay, whilst I also found surprising the American acceptance rate of just 60%. So back to the UK. If 76% of people believe people should have the right to live their lives as they were born to do, why has it taken so long to get gay marriage legalised? After all, surely it would be more acceptable for a gay Christian couple to get married in church than an atheist heterosexual couple? If Christianity is so anti-gay, why does it allow gay bishops or even gay members of their congregation? I know that if I wanted to, I could go with another atheist to any church in the UK and if I went a few times they would allow me to marry there without questioning my past, even though I have done plenty of things The Bible has said I shouldn´t, but because I would be with a member of the opposite sex, anything I might have done in the past is ignored. All that matters is that I am heterosexual. Yet a gay woman could live her life in abstinence until she meets the woman of her dreams. She could save herself for the wedding and live a clean, healthy life yet when she walks into a church she would be rejected and not allowed to marry there. Who says that can be right? If two people want to show the world their love for each other, then why can´t they show it wherever they chose? Of course the change in law only goes so far. If any

church, mosque or synagogue does not want to hold same-sex marriages, they will not be forced to. Anyone can say ´not in my building´ and the couple will have to go elsewhere. So, where does that leave those who do accept it? When so many religious leaders have voiced their opposition, who is going to have enough courage to stand up and say ´come and get married in my church´? Especially in Roman Catholic churches where their leader, The Pope, has stood up to say how much he is against gay marriage, It´s time these people took their heads out of wherever they´ve put them, and give everyone the same opportunity. It’s time they accepted that being gay isn´t a lifestyle choice, but how a person was born. It’s time they accept that no one chooses to be gay in the same way that no one chooses to be straight. We should all be accepted for what we have done and what we are doing in our lives, rather than our sexuality, the colour of our skin or whether we´re male or female. Live and let live, I say! The church should be thankful that people want to join their numbers rather than questioning their sexuality. After all, there are plenty of ways to commit a sin according to many who live by their version of The Bible, and everyone has their own interpretation. I read about a young gay Christian who believes the bible is only anti-gay in that it states humans should be in a loving relationship and not indulge in lustful, casual homosexual behaviour. I was led to believe that includes heterosexual relationships as well. Whilst researching this topic, I kept coming across a regular theme. There seemed to be several quotations about how bad homosexuality is, but none of those quotes came from Jesus himself! However, my favourite quote comes from Hendrik Hertzberg: “Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender.”

Friday, June 21, 2013

GREEK TRAGEDY MAKES A MOUSSAKA OF FREE SPEECH

I get sick and tired of reading hysterical anti-BBC comments that are continually spouted by the Daily Mail. I presume that the paper will only be happy if the Beeb gets torn apart in the same disgraceful way as has beholden the Greek national broadcaster, ERT. Depressions and recessions bring challenges to democracy, and what has happened in Greece must send a shudder down the spine of any reasonable person that believes in a free media. For three network TV stations, plus national and local radio services to be closed down by a government, in the interests of saving money, is something that has not been seen in Europe since the Second World War. It is an

action more akin to an African or Latin American banana republic, not of a member of the European Union. Yes, there were practices of over-manning and

inefficiency that needed to be sorted, but if I tell you that the commercial services in Greece make what you get here in Spain appear to be Pulitzer Prize winning efforts; you can smell a very nasty political agenda here. Why couldn’t the structural changes have been made whilst the programmes continued? It’s all been an excuse for the rightwingers in Athens to get their revenge on the state broadcaster, which incidentally everybody has to pay for via their electricity bills! This is a very dangerous game, and it all seems to have been done on the whim of the Prime Minister,

Antonis Samaras

Antonis Samaras, who has badly bungled the whole affair. After protests and an international outcry, Greece's highest court, the Council of State, ordered the immediate restoration of all ERT services in a ruling on Monday. Changes to the broadcaster will still happen, which is fair enough, but this affront to democracy has got me wondering whether we could get this kind of farce happening elsewhere in Europe? With Spain’s past, political interference is nothing new for TVE. A Partido Popular figure is the boss of the broadcaster, and his arrival saw a number of journalists and presenters being dropped or sidelined. They said it was because they asked too many difficult questions of PP guests, but that was denied by TVE bosses. Most fair-minded people smelt a rather large rat though on

this one! Life has never been harder for Europe’s public service broadcasters, and with so many multi-national commercial operators pumping out their own agendas, the news out of Greece must strengthen the resolve for everybody to speak out for impartial high quality programming in whatever country they live in. Public broadcasters in Europe are the main trusted sources of news, as the papers and commercial networks continue to dance to the political tunes of their owners. They must not be dismantled under the bogus pretence of “re-structuring”, which to my way of thinking is just plain old-fashioned censorship. The UK Honours system continues to be a very strange animal to fathom, and I still reckon decisions are based on who you know. Earlier this year I was

astonished that Mo Farah was not knighted for his amazing middle distance double at the London Olympics. Whilst back in 2004 in Athens, Kelly Holmes deservedly became a Dame for winning the 800 and 1500 metres. In last weekend’s Queen’s Birthday Honours, the Labour Party hack, Tony Robinson was knighted whilst his Blackadder boss, Rowan Atkinson only got a CBE. At least it was clear that Baldrick’s gong was partially for political service (He was on Labour’s National Executive), so one can only conclude that Mr.Bean missed out on the big one because he wasn’t prepared to get into bed with a bunch of useless politicians! At least we were spared a David Beckham knighthood, unless that particular bit of grandstanding is being saved for the New Year list?

Friday, June 21, 2013

GO MAD WITH MINCE HERBY LAMB BURGERS WITH BEETROOT MAYO Ingredients 400g lamb mince 1 small red onion, ½ grated, ½ thinly sliced handful parsley, roughly chopped handful mint, roughly chopped 1 tsp olive oil 3 tbsp mayonnaise 2 cooked beetroot, finely chopped 4 bread rolls couple handfuls watercress

Method

1. Mix the lamb, grated onion and herbs in a bowl with some seasoning, then divide the mix into 4 and shape into burgers. 2. Heat a griddle pan until hot, rub the burgers with oil, and cook for 5-6 mins on each side, or until cooked through. 3. Meanwhile, mix the mayonnaise and beetroot with some seasoning. Fill the bread rolls with some watercress, a burger, a dollop of beetroot mayo and a few onion slices.

SLOPPY JOE PIZZA BREADS Ingredients 500g pack lean beef mince 350g jar tomato and chilli pasta sauce 1 baguette 2 x 125g balls mozzarella, drained and torn small handful basil, torn

Method

1. Heat a large frying pan and crumble in the mince. Fry over a high heat for 8 mins until completely browned. Pour in the tomato sauce and leave to bubble, uncovered, for 15 mins until thickened. Taste and season if you need to. 2. Heat the grill. Cut the baguette in half lengthways, then cut the halves into 2 pieces. Place the bread, cut-side up, on a baking tray and grill for 2-3 mins until lightly toasted. Remove from the grill and divide the mince between the pieces. Scatter over the torn pieces of mozzarella. 3. Grill for 3-4 mins more, until the cheese is bubbling and

golden. Scatter with the basil.

GNOCCHI BOLOGNESE WITH SPINACH Ingredients 500g lean minced beef 1 tsp olive oil 2 x 400g cans chopped tomato 1 tbsp Italian herbs 400g gnocchi 125g reduced-fat mozzarella 400g spinach, washed

Method

1. Fry the mince in the oil for a few mins. Tip in the tomatoes and herbs. Fill one of the empty cans with water, add this to the beef, then bring to the boil. Simmer for 20 mins. 2. Tip half the spinach into a colander and pour over boiling water to wilt, then repeat with the second half. Squeeze out as much moisture from the spinach as you can, then leave to drain in the colander. When the beef is almost ready, cook the gnocchi, then drain. Heat the grill to high. 3. Stir the gnocchi and spinach into the beef, season, then tip into a large ovenproof dish. Tear the mozzarella into chunks, scatter over, then grill until golden and bubbling.

MOROCCAN SPICED MINCE WITH COUSCOUS Ingredients 2 tbsp sunflower oil 2 medium onions, roughly chopped 350g pack Quorn mince 1 tbsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp ground turmeric 100g ready-to-eat dried apricots, quartered 600ml vegetable stock For the couscous 280g couscous grated zest of 2 lemons 4 tbsp chopped fresh mint 50g unsalted cashews, toasted under the grill

Method

1. Heat the oil in a large nonstick pan, add the onions and cook gently for 5 minutes until they soften. Stir in the Quorn and spices,

then add the apricots and stock. Bring to the boil, then turn the heat down and cook gently for 10-15 minutes. 2. Meanwhile, make up the couscous following the packet instructions – it will take about 450ml boiling water to give it a nice fluffy texture. Fork through the lemon zest and mint. Season to taste. 3. Spoon the couscous onto serving plates, pile the Quorn mixture on top and scatter with the cashews.

SWEDISH MEATBALLS Ingredients 400g lean pork mince 1 egg, beaten 1 small onion, finely chopped or grated 85g fresh white breadcrumbs 1 tbsp finely chopped dill, plus extra to serve 1 tbsp each olive oil and butter 2 tbsp plain flour 400ml hot beef stock (from a cube is fine)

Method

1. In a bowl, mix the mince with the egg, onion, breadcrumbs, dill and seasoning. Form into small meatballs about the size of walnuts – you should get about 20. 2. Heat the olive oil in a large non-stick frying pan and brown the meatballs. You may have to do this in 2 batches. Remove from pan, melt the butter, then sprinkle over the flour and stir well. Cook for 2 mins, then slowly whisk in the stock. Keep whisking until it is a thick gravy, then return the meatballs to the pan and heat through. Sprinkle with dill and serve with cranberry jelly, greens and mash.

Friday, June 21, 2013

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Iain was having problems with Windows con- ADVICE: Les wanted to know how to add contacts to stantly installing updates when he shut down. Windows 8 Hi Richard, seeking your advice. Every time I shut down my laptop, before it shuts down I get a message saying "please do not power off installing update 1 of 1” which then takes about 15 minutes. This can happen 3 or 4 times a day and will no doubt happen when I shut down now. Any suggestions? Iain

Hi Richard. I am new to the world of computers, I have windows 8. How do I add a new contact? Les

Q A

Hi Les, hope you are getting on ok with Windows 8 following your training, it can be difficult to get to grips with a new operating system, especially if it’s your first computer. Hi Iain, it sounds like you have a Windows update that is “stuck”, you can check Windows 8 stores its contacts to see which one it is by viewing the update history and looking at which update in an app called “people”, you should be able to find this keeps failing, you can do this by clicking… easily enough from the tiles that appear when you start up your computer, if you can’t find Start them then pressing the Windows key will take you there. Control Panel Have a look for the “people” app, if you can’t find it then just start to type the word ‘people’, System and Security before you get to the end of the word you will be presented with the app by Windows, just Windows Update click on it. Once in the app you should press the right hand mouse key and in the bottom View update history right hand portion of the screen you will see an option to add a new contact. Everything you can let me know the update that is failing I can try to help you more. should be pretty simple from there, let me know if you get stuck.

A 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. …if

ADVICE: David wanted to know whether he needed antivirus software for his iPad

READER TIP: Kate sent in a great website for watching UK TV.

Hello Richard, I’m going to buy an iPad. Once I get it, would you recommend me to download security for it? Some friends and work colleagues say I do and some say I don’t need to, would appreciate some advice please. Also would you recommend me downloading a search engine such as Firefox for it, regards David

Hi Richard, re the article UK TV when I watch UK TV on my laptop and Android I use www.filmon.com loads of channels and films too.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hi David, no you don’t need any antivirus products for the iPad (unless its Jail Broken - i.e. hacked to enable you to play free games etc. on it). The iPad comes with the Safari web browser which I have always found quite adequate. Hope this answers your questions?

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, June 21, 2013

TWO DECADES STRONG The Rascals showgroup got showered with praise, after their last performance of their summer show, “I Remember It Well” at Torrevieja’s Casa de Cultura. After a standing ovation, Torrevieja’s Foreign Resident’s Office director, Graham Knight, thanked the group for all their fund-raising since they started 20 years ago. He said that they did many things for the community like the Christmas Party for ALPE, and that they were the only non-Spanish group to take part in the Torrevieja Carnival. In recognition for their

achievements, two local councillors then presented The Rascals with a special salt boat. The group then had a 20th Anniversary party at the Catorce restaurant in Benijofar where they reflected on the 125 thousand Euros that had been raised for local charities over the years. New members are more than welcome to join The Rascals, with rehearsals starting in September for their winter variety show. Their website is www.therascals.org or phone the chairman, Jill Rule on 966 727 282.

STRIP BACK FOR THE SUMMER

Preparation was the watchword for the latest meeting of the Vega Baja Gardening Club. Chairman, Val Duckworth, reminded everybody about the need for some judicious pruning to help prepare local gardens for the next few months. The guest speaker was David Stokes from Photogenics Costa Blanca who gave some useful tips on taking snaps of plants and gardens. Club members will put those ideas into action, as they are being encouraged to take some photos of their gardens for the next meeting in September. Ruth Anderson took the prize for the best vase of mixed flowers. The club get together again after their summer break on Monday September 2nd at 2.00pm at the Los Rosales Restaurant on Lemon Tree Road, Guardamar. For more details, phone Val Duckworth on 966 716 527

In the pink

Playa Flamenca’s Commercial Centre was abuzz with entertainment last Saturday, with a big fund-raiser in aid of Maria and the Pink Ladies, and the AECC Cancer charity. Close to fourteen hundred Euros was raised for the AECC with a variety of performers providing a lot of fun and music across all three levels of the complex. The large number of people showed their generosity towards the Pink Ladies, buying raffle tickets and giving money to the AECC early screening programme. Maria Wilson praised everybody who took part: - “I want to thank the business owners and their staff, especially Lyn and her team from Goodfellas for all their hard work and all the artists that gave their time free of charge. Without these people, events like this would not be possible. The best part is that 1,377 Euros was banked for the AECC”.

Font’s first

Baby Kiona made quite a splash when he became the first person to be baptised at the new Cristo Resucitado Ecumenical Centre. The font welcomed its first new born during a Holy Communion service led by the Chaplain of the Anglican Chaplaincy of St. Peter and St. Paul, Torrevieja, the Revd. Chris Scargill. “I was very pleased when the family contacted me to arrange the baptism of baby Kiona”, said Chris Scargill, “especially as it was possible to have the service at the Ecumenical Centre. Hopefully this will be the first of many.” The Chaplaincy has been holding regular services at the centre, which is between Cabo Roig and La Zenia, since January. There is a service of Holy Communion every Thursday at 11am and on the 4th Sunday of each month at 6pm. with services of Evening Prayer on the other Sundays, also at 6pm. For more details about the centre or the Anglican Chaplaincy and its services, you can phone Chris Scargill on 966 925 205 or look at the Chaplaincy’s website at www.c-ofe-torrevieja.com

Raft as a brush

50 members of the Torrevieja University of the Third Age proved themselves to be very brave souls, as they went water rafting at Cieza. It was a damp, but exhilarating experience for the U3A members on the River Seguro, and one that they’ve already promised to repeat next summer! It was a lively end to their official meetings ahead of the summer break, but the group are planning informal get-togethers and beach parties over the next couple of months. All the details are available via their website www.torreviejau31.org, with new members especially welcome.

Tapping crazy in the heat

Helping the needy San Luis square will be a hive of activity tomorrow (Saturday June 22nd) as the Torrevieja urbanisation hosts a fun day to raise money for Alimentos Solidarios. The charity gathers essential foods, which they distribute to families who are in desperate need around the area. The busy day starts at 9.30am with a table top sale, followed by a dog show at 11am. There’ll be all kinds of music and entertainment, as well as a raffle featuring items that have been donated by local businesses. All of the bars in the area will also be offering special meal deals, including a hog roast.

The Crazy Ladies literally sizzled in the sun last Saturday afternoon on the Playa Flamenca beachside. The eight ladies tapped into the glorious weather as part of the Royal British Legion Fun Day Festival, as they sweated buckets with six dances and six costume changes! The Crazy Ladies practise every Wednesday and Saturday morning at Asturias Restaurant in Punta Prima, and are on the lookout for any new tappers! Georgie, who leads the group, can be contacted on 968 171 365.

Edition 3

OFFERS OF THE MONTH

Friday, June 21, 2013

ARE ELECTRONIC NUMBER PLATES ON THE WAY? Could the humble number plate be a thing of the past? Perhaps not just yet. But new technology in the USA could see the introduction of electronic ‘plates’ in place of the traditional metal plates Americans currently use. A report by news channel WSPA suggests that the state of South Carolina is considering a proposal to switch to the new e-tags as a way to improve highway safety. Speaking to station, co-founder of Compliance Innovations (the firm behind the e-tags) David Findlay said: “It’s not an LCD or an LED. What it’s made of is electronic paper. It’s a new technology that allows you to hold the image with no power whatsoever for over ten years. The only time it needs power is when you’re changing the status or the image on the plate.” The power comes from the vibrations of your car, and from a transparent film over the tag that collects solar power. Clever stuff. But the really interesting part is that the e-tags are automatically linked to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) – the US equivalent of our DVLA. So if the car is stolen, the DMV could change the tag to read ‘STOLEN’. Alternatively, if the driver has been suspended from driving or doesn’t have insurance for the vehicle, the plate could simply say ‘SUSPENDED’ or ‘UNINSURED’. The proposal is still very much in the early stages of development, not least because each e-tag would cost $100 (£64), whereas a traditional metal plate costs less than $7

(£4.50). But with the state of South Carolina losing $150 million (£95 million) a year through expired tags or uninsured drivers, the financial case is compelling. Could such a scheme work in Europe? Potentially, yes. Linking the number plate to insurance records could help to identify uninsured drivers. It could even see an end to the tax disc, with the road fund licence linked to the number plate instead. If linked to a tracking device, it would automatically alert other drivers and the police to vehicles being driven without the owner’s permission as well. Some people in the US are pointing to a potential lack of privacy, with the DMV having the ability to track the whereabouts of the vehicle at any given time. However, according to Compliance Innovations co-founder, Brian Bannister: “No one entity could actually track an individual vehicle. It would require three court orders: to the DMV, to us, and the cellular carrier themselves to actually be able to locate a vehicle.” Even so, the potential is there. There’s also Britain’s love of the number plate to take into consideration. The personalised number plate business has raised well over £1.6 billion for the Treasury since it was launched in 1989. Some motorists – and indeed the government – wouldn’t be too keen on anything that could see an end to that, although there’s nothing to stop the personalised number plate carrying on in digital form.

Britain is the "whiplash capital of the world"

The UK's civil litigation system and wider compensation culture had led to a steep rise in road accident whiplash injury claims in recent years, the Association of British Insurers (ABI) has told the House of Commons Transport Committee. The motor insurance industry paid out £10.7 billion in claims in 2011, of which whiplash claims cost approximately £2.2 billion, said the ABI in written evidence to the committee. The ABI said that while there were a number of factors that affected the price of a premium, and individual insurers priced their policies differently, the cost of claims was highly indicative of the overall level of premium that an average motorist can expect to pay. It added that the average paid premium in 2011 was £440. With whiplash claims representing 20% of overall claims expenditure, this represents approximately £90 of the average premium. The ABI, which is giving

oral evidence to the committee later today, said in its written evidence: "There are a number of contributing factors that have led to the rise in whiplash claims. The first factor is the dysfunctional compensation system which has led to a growing compensation culture in the UK. "Aggressive marketing by claims management companies and referral fees paid by claimant solicitors (banned from April 1 this year), have led to an increasing number of personal injury claims in general, and whiplash claims specifically." Answering in its written evidence the question: "Is it correct in describing Great Britain as the `whiplash capital of the world?', the ABI replied: "Yes". It went on: "Although the lack of an objective test for minor whiplash injuries is an international problem, it is the UK's civil litigation system and wider compensation culture which has led to the steep rise in whiplash claims in recent years."

Friday, June 21, 2013

Motorcycles in Spain Somewhat surprisingly, given Spain’s excellent weather, large touring motorcycles aren’t particularly common on Spain’s roads. However, mopeds, scooters and small motorcycles are a scourge in towns and cities, where their noise may drive you crazy. Approved crash helmets (casco) should be worn at all times by all moped and motorcycle riders and passengers (previously helmets weren’t necessary in urban areas), although you will see many riders not wearing them. Failure to wear a helmet can result in a fine of €100 and a loss of three points from your licence, although it isn’t unusual to see a whole family on a motorcycle, including children and babies, without a helmet between them! Under new legislation, children must be over seven years of age to ride on a motorcycle with a parent. If a child wishes to ride with an adult other than its parents, written authorisation must be given by the parents. Dipped headlamps must be used at all times by all motorcyclists except moped riders. When parking a motorcycle in a city, lock it securely (if possible, chain it to an immovable object). Take extra care when parking in a public place overnight, particularly in major cities, where bike theft is rife. Mopeds and motorcycles of all sizes can be rented throughout Spain. Note that rental insurance doesn’t always include theft. You must usually leave your driving

licence as security (it isn’t advisable to leave your passport; if the bike breaks down or is stolen, you may have trouble getting it back).

Under 50cc

A 14-year-old can ride a moped (i.e. a motorbike with an engine capacity of up to 50cc). Riders aged under 16 must pass a simple examination on

the rules of the road and obtain written parental consent. Third-party insurance is also obligatory, but is expensive and difficult to obtain, as insurance companies have had to pay astronomical amounts in claims for moped accidents in recent years and are now reluctant to insure them. On the other hand, no registration or road tax are required for mopeds. Mopeds aren’t permitted on motorways and riders must use cycle paths where provided. Nevertheless, many riders are killed each year. Car drivers often cannot see or avoid moped riders, particularly when they speed out of side streets without looking or ride at night without lights.

Over 50cc

A 16-year-old is permitted to ride a light motorcycle with an engine capacity of up to 125cc, requiring an A1 licence. At 18, a motorcycle with an engine capacity above 125cc may be ridden, for which an A motorcycle licence (licencia de conducción de ciclomotores) is required. Both types of motorcycle licence are valid for ten years if you’re under 45 and for five years if you’re between 45 and 70. Riders over 70 must renew their licence every two years. Speed limits are the same for motorcycles as for cars and motorcycles, above 75cc are permitted to use motorways (tolls are lower than for cars). All motorcycles must be registered with the provincial traffic department. A motorcycle over 500cc must have a manufacturer’s certificate, industry certificate, appraiser’s certificate and town hall registration. Third-party insurance is obligatory for all bikes, costing around €350 a year. Motorcycles must have their first technical inspection (inspección técnica de vehículos/ITV) after five years and thereafter annually.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Ford employs robot test drivers

Ford is using fully automated robots to test drive its trucks and vans under a new "accelerated high-impact onroad and off-road durability testing programme." The technology has been implemented by the Blue Oval to improve the ‘built Ford tough’ ethos of its trucks, vans and commercial vehicles, with the robots ideally suited to the test conditions. Ford claims the durability procedures could prove too taxing for a human driver, while the robots can simply keep on going, with the system most recently being used on the new full-size Transit van due to launch in 2014. Ford vehicle development operations manager Dave Payne outlines: "Some of the tests we do on our commercial trucks for North America are so strenuous that we limit the exposure time for human drivers. The challenge is completing testing to meet vehicle development time lines while keeping our drivers comfortable. "Robotic testing allows us to do both. We accelerate durability testing while simultaneously increasing the productivity of our other programs by redeploying drivers to those areas, such as noise level and vehicle dynamics

testing." According to Ford, the tests can compress 10 years of daily driving abuse into courses just a few hundred yards long, with surfaces that include broken concrete, cobblestones, metal grates, rough gravel, mud pits and oversized speed bumps. It isn’t a fully autonomous system though and the technology was never intended to take that form. Payne explains: "The goal here was not to develop a truly autonomous vehicle that can drive itself on city streets. Our objective was to create a test track solution that allows for this type of intense testing that could take our vehicles to the most extreme limits of their engineering while ensuring the safety of all involved." The robotic driving system employs a control module, which controls the vehicle’s steering, acceleration and

braking. It’s set to follow a programmed course so doesn’t need an operator to control it, with the truck or van’s position tracked by cameras that are accurate to 2.5cm. If the central control room sense the vehicle is moving off-course, Ford’s engineers have the ability to override the on-board robot to either correct the course or fully stop the vehicle if the situation warrants it. The new development should improve reliability, too. Beforehand, the tests were limited due to restrictions on human drivers, who were only allowed to drive certain courses once a day. Now, the mix of hardware and software can keep the trucks pounding around, accelerating the development process and allowing even tougher tests to be put before its commercial vehicles.

5 GREAT TOURS O

Spain is a vast country that has plenty to see and do, from the north to the south. With a landmass of almost 500,000 square kilometers, you are spoilt for choice in terms of the driving tours that you can enjoy in the nation. Check out our guide to the top 5 driving tours of Spain, and what to see and do there

Catalonia Driving Tour After spending some time relaxing and sightseeing in Barcelona, drive along the scenic and spectacular Costa Brava to S’Agaró in the Girona area. This road trip is over 100km and along the AP7 road. You could spend some time at the beach at S’Agaró before heading to historic Figueres the birthplace of esteemed artist Salvador Dali. To get to Figueres, take the A7 and the E15, and it is a 93km drive. Spend some time at the Dali Museum whilst at Figueres. After Figueres, take the Girona A7 road, then the Autopista Barcelona-Montmelo Road and the AP 7 road, which is a partial toll road and this will bring you to Girona. Girona is an enchanting city with plenty to see and do (in particular the Roman ruins) so you can certainly spend some time there. It’s a perfect spot if you want to take in the many lavish beaches of Costa Brava! If you want to travel further to see some more majestic scenery you could head to the mountain town of Cardona by taking the C16 and the C60. You could even travel further to the skiing haven of Andorra, by taking the C14 route.

Ibiza Driving Tour If you are staying on the island of Ibiza, you will be enamored by the windy roads that lead into the mountains, that have breathtaking views, and the roads are lined with wonderful almond trees and olive groves. A beautiful drive in particular takes you from San Carlos along the majestic coastline to Cala San Vicente. If you drive into the mountains you will be surrounded by unbelievable scenery. If you take a driving trip to Es Broll, you will be driving right through the heartland of Ibiza, through Santa Gertrudis towards Santa Agnes. Take the left hand road that will bring you to Es Broll. Es Broll is a wonderful freshwater spring surrounded by magnificent scenery.

Andalucia Driving Tour A driving tour of the southern region Andalucia will take in Malaga, Ronda, Seville, Cordoba and Granada. As you set out from Malaga, take the road A357 and A367 to Ronda. Ronda is a historic spot and is famous for the 130 metre deep El Tajo gorge that was immortalised in Hemingway’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls”. The 18th century Puente Nuevo ‘new’ bridge, which affords terrific views of the Serranía de Ronda mountains is well worth finding. From Ronda continue west to Jerez de la Frontera, the sherry production capital of the world, then north to Seville. Visit the Plaza de España and Parque Maria Luisa in Seville; they are attractions that are well worth visiting. Take the A375/376 to Seville from Ronda. From Seville, travel to Cordoba via Carmona. You can stop off and visit the Great Mosque (Mezquita) of Cordoba. Take the E5/A4 road to Cordoba from Seville.

Friday, June 21, 2013

DRIVING OF SPAIN

After this, you can take the Ruta Del Aceite (The Olive Oil Route) through Jaen to Granada along the E902. Make sure to catch the marvellous sunset over the Alhambra from Miradór de San Nicolas. Alhambra Palace is a major attraction in the area. The drive back to Malaga from Granada takes you around 90 minutes along the A92 and A45.

Driving tour from Sierra de Guadarrama to Madrid The Sierra de Guadarrama is a mountain range forming the eastern half of the Sistema Central, and affords spectacular views to the visitor. A driving tour from Sierra de Guadarrama to Madrid is via Rascafría, along the Río Lozoya through the picturesque mountain villages of Ateruelo, Alameda and Pinilla to Lozoya. Here the visitor will join the C 604 to Lozoyuela, and from there can take the NI back to Madrid for approximately 70km north of Madrid. You could also branch off for Segovia, and take in the wonderful town of town of El Escorial – which is home to the marvellous Monastery of San Lorenzo Del Escorial. From El Escorial you can make your way to the Valley of the Fallen, which is a Spanish Civil War Memorial. The capital city Madrid itself has so much for the visitor to see and do, from the Prado Museum to the Royal Palace

Costa Del Sol to Madrid Driving Tour This tour, which will probably take you a couple of days, will take you from the Costa del Sol to Granada and Toledo on the road to Madrid. There is plenty of majestic scenery to view and you will make a stop at the World Heritage site of Alhambra and Generalife Gardens. As you depart the Costa del Sol, you will pass the Sierra Nevada range, alongside the Darro and Genil Rivers and you will come to Granada. Granada has a distinctly Moorish influence with the impressive UNESCO World Heritage Sites of Alhambra and Generalife Gardens amongst the many attractions. The city of Toledo is about 70km south of Madrid, and is a medieval city fortress which overlooks the River Tagus. There is much sightseeing to be done in Toledo – the city was declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO for its extensive cultural and monumental works. It was once a capital of the Spanish empire and was a place where the Christian, Moorish and Jewish cultures all came together.

Drive a Great Deal at Rojales Autocentre!

The Autocentre in Rojales has been operating successfully for more than 16 years by owner Antonio and his wife Marisa, and can be found on Avenida Constitucion which is situated on the main road through Benijofar heading towards Rojales. A sub-dealer for Toyota cars, they are now also sub-dealers for Subaru, Mitsubishi, Suzuki and Ranger Rover Cars. Antonio and his team of qualified mechanics are very much hands on and will carry out all mechanical and electrical repair works to your car in a professional manner. Marisa, who is fluent in Spanish, Dutch, German and English, is a great asset to the business.

She specialises in sorting out the paperwork for imported cars, helping clients with NIE’s where required, and transferring cars from English to Spanish plates. Autocentre Rojales also deals in secondhand cars and a full Car service and ITV service is available onsite. Hours of opening are Monday to Saturday 9am to 2pm. They are closed for Siesta from 2pm to 4pm and then re-open again from 4pm to 7pm. So for all your car repairs, purchases or help with the paper work involved in buying a car in Spain, it is recommend that you pay a visit the Autocentre in Rojales, where you will receive the best advice possible.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Volkswagen builds 30 millionth Golf Radical SR8 RX smashes power lap record

The 30 millionth Golf has rolled off the assembly line at Volkswagen’s plant in Wolfsburg. In so doing, the Golf sets a new production record to become the most successful European car ever made. Not bad for a car that took its first Giugiaro-designed steps into the world way back in 1974. Little it did know that it would grow up – quite literally – to become a global icon. Since then, statistically speaking, an average of 2,000 people have purchased a new Golf every day for the past 39 years. The 30 millionth car just happened to be a Golf TDI BlueMotion which, at 88.3mpg, is very much a car for the modern era. Speaking as he accepted the Car of the Year 2013 award for the Golf, Professor Martin Winterkorn, chairman of the board of management of Volkswagen said: “The history of the Golf is also the history of automotive progress. With technologies such as the safe front-wheel drive of the first Golf, the debut of the TDI in the third Golf,

RADICAL’S SR8 RX set a new lap record at the recent threeday 2013 Cholmondeley Pageant of Power. Driven by professional race driver Robbie Kerr, ESC (Electronic Stability Control) and the dual clutch gearthe British-built Radical combox of the fourth Golf and the standard Automatic Postpleted a lap of the 1.2-mile Collision Braking System of the new generation, this car circuit in just 55.29 seconds, has continued to democratise progress.” smashing the previous track The 30 millionth Golf will be on display for employees of record by 6.6 seconds. the Wolfsburg plant this coming Saturday at the factory’s This year saw 139 cars open day. and bikes taking to the Our question is, which Golf is your favourite? The MK1 Cholmondeley track over born in 1974 or the MK2 which arrived in 1983 and manthe course of the three-day aged to symbolise the 1980s? Perhaps the oft-forgotten event, divided into 13 race MK3, now available for banger money? classes. The Radical SR8 The Golf MK4 arrived in 1997, but was eclipsed by the RX was entered into the MK5 in 2003 – a car said to be superior in just about every hotly-contested ‘Racing department and, just as importantly, the platform for the Saloons & Track Day Cars’ first properly good Golf GTI since the MK2. class, which enjoyed the In 2008 the MK6 was born, a Golf said to be significantly fastest lap times during the cheaper to build than the MKV it replaced. And then, in Pageant due to the track2012, the current Car of the Year arrived – the MK7. focused nature of the cars Here’s to the next 30 million. competing. The fastest

speed seen through the Pageant of P o w e r ’ s speed trap was 129mph, recorded by the Radical as it sped towards its recordbreaking time. James Hall, Event Director for the Cholmondeley Pageant of Power, commented: “Given last year was such a closerun contest, we expected fierce competition in 2013. Radical’s Robbie Kerr had a fight on his hands contesting the title against the array of impressive machinery, each with exactly the same aim, but it was great to see someone set a new lap record. The drivers were on a mission to take on the new title, and certainly put on an exhilarating show in doing so.”

Friday, June 21, 2013

Make sure you Drive Alive! Drive on the right!

• Be especially careful when setting off from service stations or restaurants on the left side of the road. • Take care when overtaking - allow more space between you and the car in front so you can see further down the road ahead. • Spain has strict drink driving laws, only allowing 0.5 milligrams of alcohol per millilitre of blood - stricter than the UK where the limit is 0.8. New drivers are effectively forbidden to drink and drive, with a very low 0.1 mg/l limit. • Seat belts front and rear are obligatory everywhere. • When approaching a roundabout give way to traffic already on the roundabout, on your left, unless signed otherwise. • Speed limits are implemented rigorously. Radar traps are frequent. • Remember - Speeding and other traffic offences are subject to on-the-spot fines. In all countries a full UK driving licence is required. As in the UK, seat belts should be worn front and rear. Below are motoring regulations relating to Spain.

Beware in Spain

The law operating in Spain regarding the use of indicators on motorways is being strictly enforced. You risk being fined for not indicating before overtaking and again before pulling back to the

nearside lane after overtaking. Also, ensure you do not cross the solid white line as you enter the motorway from a slip road, but wait until the line is broken. Children in cars: Children under 12 cannot travel in the front unless using a suitably adapted restraint system. In the rear, passengers under 135cm tall must use specially adapted safety devices and restraints. Documentation: always carry your driving licence, vehicle registration document (V5), and certificate of motor insurance. If your licence does not incorporate a photograph ensure you carry your passport to validate the licence. If the vehicle is not registered in your name, carry a letter from the registered owner giving you permission to drive. Drinking and driving: Don't do it. Over 0.05 per cent and you could face anything from a severe fine, withdrawal of your licence, up to imprisonment. Fines: On the spot fines are issued. Ensure an official receipt is issued by the officer collecting the fine. First-aid kit is advised, but

not compulsory. Fuel: All grades of unleaded petrol (benzin), diesel (gasoleo 'A') and LPG are available as well as lead substitute additive. Leaded no longer exists. It is allowed to carry petrol in a can. Credit and debit cards are widely accepted, although they probably won't work at automatic pumps, which are often

the only pumps open out-ofhours and at lunch-time (from noon to 3pm) away from the Autoroutes. It's a good idea to let your card issuer know you will be travelling abroad. This ensures they don't suspend your card if they spot it being used in unfamiliar places, which they sometimes do as an anti-fraud measure.

way is autopista de peajes. Non motorway dual carriageways are Autovia. Replacement bulb set is recommended. Seat belts are compulsory for front and rear seat occuGB sticker: UK registered pants, if fitted. vehicles displaying EuroSnow chains are recomplates (circle of 12 stars mended to be carried in the above the national identifier Spanish Pyrenees and all on blue background) no mountainous regions of longer need a GB sticker Spain during winter, and if when driving in European you do not carry and fit them Union countries. when conditions demand the Glasses (Spectacles): wearpolice can prevent you coners must carry a spare pair in tinuing your journey. the car at all times. Visibility Vests are now comHeadlamp converters are pulsory in Spain. They are compulsory. also compulsory in Austria, Lights: dipped headlights Belgium, France, Italy, should be used in poor dayNorway and Portugal and time visibility. Motorcycles (and likely to become commust use dipped headlights pulsory throughout the EU). during the day at all times. The rules vary from country Minimum age for driving, proto country concerning numvided you hold a full UK ber of vests required and licence, is 18 for a car and for whether they should be cara motorcycle over 75cc. If ried in the car or boot. you've got an old-style allCommon sense suggests green licence you might find that there should be a vest the police will not understand for every occupant, and that them, so either get them upthe vests should be carried in dated or take an International the car, and put on before Driving Permit as well. getting out. Do this and you Motorcycle drivers and paswill not have a problem. sengers must wear crash Warning triangle is compulhelmets. sory. One only is required for Motor insurance: third-party non-Spanish registered vehiinsurance is compulsory. A cles. Two required for green card is not required but Spanish vehicles, but to your insurer should be avoid difficulties with the advised of your trip. police we recommend two triMotorways are known as angles should be carried. Autopista, and a toll motor-

Apparently From Real Insurance Claims:

☺ Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have ☺ The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention ☺ I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it ☺ I collided with a stationery truck coming the other way ☺ A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face ☺ A pedestrian hit me and went under my car ☺ The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him ☺ I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment ☺ In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole ☺ I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car ☺ I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident ☺ I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident ☺ As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident ☺ To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian ☺ My car was legally parked as it backed

into the other vehicle ☺ An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished ☺ I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull ☺ I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him ☺ I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car ☺ The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth ☺ I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows

Don't Say This To The Traffic Police • Thanks Officer! That's great. The last officer only gave me a warning as well! • Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in • Sorry Officer, I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yeah I know they are miles ahead of me, but that's how fast they got away from me! • No, I don't know how fast I was going. The needle stops at 180 mph • Wow! you must have been going some to catch me up? • Sorry officer, I didn't know you were behind me all that time, I was having to focus on what was in front of me because of the speed I was going

Friday, June 21, 2013

HOME SWEET HOME?

Well, after a drive of 1,300 miles, we are again in the UK, principally to escape the summer heat in Spain, and we're already asking ourselves what's worse:Spanish heat of 30 degrees plus, or gales, storms, rain, fog, and temperatures falling at night to around 10 degrees? We could be swimming in the pool, sitting in a hot tub, sitting on the seafront enjoying sea breezes in Spain. Instead, we're hacking at chest-high weeds in the park home garden, trying to escape a swarm of bees disturbed when I dug into a compost heap - and being attacked by mosquitos far more hungry than those in Spain. As I write this, there's a gale blowing, ripping twigs off newly-leafed trees. It has already caused one huge mature tree to fall to the ground within the park home estate, narrowly missing several luxury lodges - including that of one of our Spanish friends' and their car. It has got me thinking how foolish people are to try to preserve huge trees near homes, roads, railways, etc. The place for trees is in woods and forests, not where they could crash down and kill people. Why on earth people want to live surrounded by trees beats me. Every year we hear of fatal accidents due to trees being blown down, and devastating fires ripping through wooded areas and destroying peoples' homes.

Back to our park home estate, and a colony of travellers have moved into fields a few hundred yards away. It was amusing to watch the farmer bring his crop watering system ever nearer to the illegally parked vans. We're all willing him to bring in the muck spreader. Other countries don't have these perpetual problems with travellers - these are not true Romanies. They're people trying to beat the system by moving from place to place, avoiding paying rates

Back to the subject of the weather, and it's interesting to hear that meteorologists are to study why Western Europe is suffering such extreme weather. Increasingly cold winters, springs colder than winters, more frequent storms, floods, and summers which disappear after a few days of heat, are common. The study will include trying to find out why the Jet Stream, which controls UK weather, is now often moving further south.

should make it quite clear that companies who try to wriggle out of paying tax that morally they should pay, should be nationalised without compensation. That would exercise the minds of shareholders who might put pressure on companies to play fair. It's interesting the EU are telling mobile phone companies to end roaming The list of large compa- charges across Europe by nies which avoid paying next year - and they will comtax grows ever longer. Much ply, or else. If they can exerhas been said of the likes of cise muscle against private Google and Starbucks and companies, it's about time the latest is Thames Water, the British government did which made huge profits of the same - with a vengeance. When I was in Spain, I £549 million on sales of £1.8 was foolish enough to billion, but paid no Corporation Tax. Sadly, the give my Spanish address to fault lies with the politicians, my UK bank. Bad move. bureaucrats and so called When I wanted to transfer tax experts who allowed so some money into my ISA many loopholes, that clever account it was refused accountants could drive a because I wasn't a UK resiWhat numbskull coach and horses through dent. them. It means that the aver- bureaucrat dreamt up that age taxpayer pays far more crazy restriction? Banks tax than would be the case if need all the investment the big boys paid a true rate money they can get, so what does it matter where the of tax on their UK earnings. Tax should be paid in the money comes from, provided country that the company's it's legal? And shouldn't ISAs earnings are generated, and be available to every UK citishould not be paid in so zen regardless of where they called tax havens. Loopholes happen to live? and the multitude of tax AS governments focus exemptions should be more and more on tax closed, and the government avoidance, axing govern-

together in association with Costa Blanca Green Fees Services, saw Vic Smith run out as the overall winner, followed by Doug Sheeran, and Tony White. Hilda Scott took the trophy as the best lady golfer. With donations still to come in, 977 Euros

have already been banked for the ALPE charity, with a formal cheque presentation planned for September. Lions President, Iain Bennett said: - “I want to thank all the sponsors that helped us get this event off the ground, and we certainly hope to do it all over again next year!”

and tax, rent and other bills that everyone else has to pay. Soft Britain needs legislation allowing landowners to get rid of illegal travellers immediately they arrive. Personally I would like to see police given powers to seize travellers' vans, vehicles and possessions and destroy them if they invade public or private land. It would only have to happen once and that would be an end to the annual travellers' annoyance. Why should these people be allowed to live on the cheap? How could their children get a proper education? Every entrance in the area now has large tree trunks or farmers' equipment placed so that no travellers can gain access with their vans. Welcome to mad, sad Britain!

For years I've been interested in the weather, and I'm seeing colder sea temperatures, the Gulf Stream flowing slower and further south, and a more volatile Jet Stream. Globally, there are more intense tornados, hurricanes, floods and droughts. If global warming is the cause, then we ain't seen anything yet.

ROARING SUCCESS ON THE TEE Close to a thousand Euros was raised for the Torrevieja ALPE educational centre, as 53 golfers hit the Vistabella Course, Entre Naranjos, in a special event organised by the Torrevieja Costa Lions Club. The day, which was put

ment spending, waste and fraud, the spending on the NHS again rears its head. And it's potentially worrying for us ex-pats because increasingly the focus of attention is upon health tourism. It sickens me that there are so many people who manage to get into the UK simply to use the British health system because it's free at the point of care. So they pour in and take advantage, and, as usual, the poor old suckers, the British taxpayer pays the bill. The problem is UK membership of the EU, which potentially, allows anyone who has not contributed one single penny to the British economy, to get NHS hospital treatment. There should be resident checks, but they're far from thorough, unlike in other European countries, such as Spain, who have taken Draconian steps to prevent abuse by "foreigners" with Brit ex-pats having been hit with SIP cards suddenly withdrawn. UK politicians are focussing on the huge numbers of people who have decided to spend their retirement abroad, and who return to Britain if they find they need costly medical treatment, such as HIV, cancer, and Alzheimer's. There needs to be some

common sense here. People who have spent their working life in the UK, and are still paying their tax on UK pensions and have decided to live as ex-pats abroad, are a far cry from health tourists to the UK and should be treated far differently. Ideally, they should try to retain some UK address, but I cannot understand why anyone would want to treat a UK taxpayer differently just because he happens to live in a foreign country. Neither can I see any moral or justifiable reason why any pensioner who happens to live abroad should not receive their full UK pension which they have earned. How can any government with any moral fibre allow a situation where a pensioner can live in one country with a full pension which rises each year and another who lives somewhere else does not? Crazy, crazy Britain!

Finally, thanks a bunch Nick Clegg for announcing his party will axe the winter fuel allowance for pensioners living abroad. That's a good few thousand votes he will be losing at the next election - that is if there is a Lib Dem party left! Don't politicians realise that not every ex-pat is living in the lap of luxury? They should try wintering over in Spain, with properties over here with such poor insulation and heat disappearing quickly through walls and ceilings. We retired ex-pats have worked hard all our lives and have paid countless thousands of pounds into the system in tax and NI contributions. Anyone with a private pension is still paying tax if they continue to pay tax in the UK. We're entitled to every penny in benefits we now receive - not like the benefit scroungers we hear so much about who have invaded UK shores. So Mr Clegg and co, why don’t you start to pick on the rich bugs who are avoiding paying tax, not ex-pats, many of whom are far from living in luxury?

Friday, June 21, 2013

HOW YOUR GUT KEEPS YOU HEALTHY DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

It may come as a surprise when you realise that your digestive system has the greatest influence on your immunity, and therefore your overall state of health. We understand the role the skin plays in providing a barrier against foreign microbes and toxins. But the protective membrane that forms part of the skin also continues in the digestive, respiratory, urinary and genital organs. The membrane also secretes mucus that lines our digestive tract and other tubular organs such as the wind-pipe, offering them protection against ingested and inhaled substances. Our gut is also home to over 500 different species of microbes? Yes over 2 pounds in weight of them. They are known as commensals which literally means ‘dining at the same table’. We evolved with these bugs and cannot survive without them. They are vital for proper food digestion. They also keep away deadly pathogens that cannot wait to move in and cause problems. For our added protection, the stomach also secretes acid, strong enough to burn flesh, and capable of destroying harmful pathogens. But our stomach is protected by a thick layer of mucus. All through the digestive tract are small lymph glands that produce immune cells. There are several kinds of these cells, and they attack bacteria, viral and cancer cells. The digestive system is also responsible for

than any flu vaccine. Numerous other studies have shown to it to accelerate our immunity and healing up to 20 times. In many quarters it has been described as the ultimate anti-aging supplement. Now, please do not go out there and buy anything called colostrum. There are many substandard and untested products out there in the marketplace. And with the threat of Mad Cow still real, you just do not want to play around with your health. For more information on colostrum, call : 965071745 FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CONTACT 965071745

removing toxic by-products and chemicals from the body. These toxins inflame our immune system leading to all kinds of chronic disorders. Many medical researchers now agree that many diseases are caused by the common digestive problem known as ‘Leaky Gut Syndrome’. This occurs when undigested food leaks from the intestines into the blood, causing allergic and inflammatory diseases. So what can you do to improve your intestinal health? For a while I’ve been using bovine colostrum in therapy especially for treating chronic digestive disorders, and the outcome has been phenomenal. I am also very delighted with the results I am getting with my own health.

The miraculous benefits of bovine colostrum are backed up by countless clinical studies and trials. Bovine colostrum has been well known for its impressive immune enhancing effects for many centuries. Dr Sabin, the inventor of polio vaccine, used it to treat children suffering from polio. His polio vaccine was made from it. Bovine colostrum is the richest mammalian colostrum with regards to immune proteins and antibodies. Several clinical studies have shown that antibodies in colostrum can destroy a range of deadly viruses and bacteria, including HIV virus. Studies done in in Italy showed bovine colostrum to be 3times more powerful

Friday, June 21, 2013

COUGHING UP A BRONCHITIS CURE Q A

I have bronchitis, and wonder if pycnogenol will help reduce my symptoms.

There are basically 2 kinds of bronchitis – Acute and Chronic. Unfortunately you didn’t specify the kind you have. Since your question is related to pycnogenol, I will assume you have chronic bronchitis. Nevertheless I’ll review both kinds. Bronchitis means inflammation of the bronchi – the larger lung airways. Acute bronchitis is usually a mild inflammation of the bronchi, usually caused by viruses or bacteria. Acute bronchitis is more common in the colder seasons, and tends to follow a cold or flu. What happens in acute bronchitis is that the mucous producing membrane that lines the air ways swell-up from inflammation and starts secreting copious amounts of mucus. The airways can also narrow causing shortness of breath, wheezing and cough. The coughed-up phlegm is usually colourless if the infection is caused by a virus, and coloured yellow or green when caused by bacteria. There may also be a feeling of rawness to the throat and hoarseness to the voice. In most cases the symptoms clear up within a few days. In contrast, chronic bronchitis is a longterm problem, and is diagnosed when an individual has been coughing up phlegm for at least three consecutive months or for at least 2 years on and off. Chronic bronchitis is commonly found in cigarette smokers and those who have been exposed to industrial or environmental toxins for a long time. In chronic bronchitis, the long term inflammation of the bronchi results in widespread stiffening, narrowing and blocking of the airways. The increased mucus secretions also encourage the growth of bacteria which worsens breathing. Other symptoms of chronic bronchitis include chest pain and occasionally coughing up blood.

Pycnogenol will be very helpful for managing chronic bronchitis because it has strong anti-inflammatory properties. Pycnogenol also blocks enzymes that accelerate the destruction of lung tissue in chronic bronchitis. To help maintain a healthy respiratory system, it is important to exercise regularly and to stay away from polluted environments. It is also advisable to stop smoking. Our immune system is closely supported by the respiratory system and vice versa. And so it is advisable for those suffering from any respiratory illness to ensure that their immune system is in top shape. To find out how you can do that, please visit: www.medb.es PROTECT AND HEAL YOUR BODY WITH BOVINE COLOSTRUM Colostrum is our first food of life. It was designed by nature to defend and protect us from infections, and to help us grow and develop. Most mammals including cows die if they do not receive colostrum immediately after birth. Colostrum has unsurpassed immune, autoimmune, allergy, gastrointestinal, athletic, diet and anti-aging properties. It is our first antibiotic and antiviral therapy. Colostrum has had more continued use than any other health product in all cultures throughout the world. It is also the most clinically studied nutritional substance we know of. Humans produce relatively small amounts of colostrum in the first two days after giving birth, but cows produce about 9 gallons (36 L) of colostrum. Bovine colostrum can be transferred to all other mammals, and is 10 times richer in immune factors than human colostrum. Colostrum has been demonstrated in the lab to be effective against deadly viruses, including HIV, flu, and rotavirus. Researchers in Italy proved that colostrum was three times more effective in protecting

against the flu than the flu vaccine or any other remedy. It has been said by experts that ‘without colostrum we would be extinct’. Colostrum contains several growth factors, and stimulates lean muscle, bone, brain and nerve tissue growth and development. Even more amazing is that Colostrum activates and stimulates immune responses to pathogens including viruses, bacteria, and fungus. It not only wards off their attacks, but primes the body to provide an immediate defence if they return. Colostrum also activates the creation and accelerated function of our immune cells such as macrophages and Natural killer cells, making them 20 times more effective. Natural killer cells seek out and destroy cancer cells in the body. Colostrum also contains 3 enzymes that bind to bacteria and destroys them. Also present in colostrum is lactoferrin. Lactoferrin is a protein that transports iron to red blood cells and helps to deprive viruses and harmful bacteria of iron they need to thrive. Colostrum’s benefits are universal and always available no matter what your age. Colostrum can be purchased in health food shops and pharmacies. But beware. It is extremely difficult to find the real thing. A study done showed that most of the colostrum sold contained less than the required 16 % immunoglobulin needed for colostrum to be effective. Many contained less than 5% immunoglobulins. You can purchase your colostrum from MedB clinic. Our colostrum is of the highest quality, and has been clinically tested by us. It contains 21% immunoglobulins, and is available in powder and capsules. Please email your questions to: contact@medb.es

Friday, June 21, 2013

Horrorscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 Pistachio nuts continue to be your lucky snack food, ice cream flavor, faked nut allergy excuse for withdrawal from boring meetings or family gatherings, and the outer shell for bean bag fillings this week. It's the start of summer in the Northern Hemisphere this month and speedos have never been more poorly starred, especially Baywatch brand red ones.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 You are about to be invited to a full tux and white tie dinner. There must be a Dummies book for this, but if there isn't it looks like the planets are looking at you to write one. Claims that you have been placed into a medically induced coma is your least believable excuse for missing a meeting or a party this week.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Avoid pirates with feathers in their hats especially in the Indian Ocean when out on your expensive yacht around dawn on Friday. In any situation where you need to choose between a skull or crossbones, favor the skull. "No, not this week" is the answer to any question you are asked about the Large Hadron Collider in Europe.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Dressing like Lady Gaga continues to provide problems particularly with slightly infirm old people this week, especially when shopping for groceries in street markets or poorly lit shops near post offices on pension day. Attempts to make a hole in the wall of a wooden buildings the same shape as the person slamming through it (like they do in cartoons) are ill starred again this week

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 A wrestling mask is your only hope of concealing your true identity for much of the week. But even though you may feel your attire warrants it, flying clothes lines, popular with most pro wrestlers, are more likely to break your own arm than do any damage to your opponent. Dog napping, burglarising expensive apartments and not paying for your newspaper in the shop are your least lucky crimes this month.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Talking in one of those cafes they have in Paris where you sit at tables on the street is well starred this week, especially if you've perfected that thing where you can smoke a cigarette and drink a coffee while talking and pointing at the same time with your smoking hand and not burn yourself or others.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Your social life is about to go up a gear - you will need to find time for at least three parties a week from now until the rest of the summer. Well done, the effort you put into your exercise regime and diet tips has paid off and the beach world is now ready for your stunningly in shape body.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Driving really really really slowly, so that small children walking could walk faster than you are driving, on the public highway is well starred this week, with only a 17% chance you will be pulled over by the police for assumed drunk driving. Secret number 5 of eternal youth is about to be revealed to you in the form of contemporary dance.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 'Fortune favors the foolish' is your lucky saying this month, especially on Tuesday, and when you are about to begin some sort of large scale or potentially disastrous project. Who would come out on top between Scooby Doo vs Top Cat? That's your retro cartoon riddle of the week. If you are feeling down, cover your head completely with candy floss and get an animal with a large tongue to lick it all off.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Women in uniform, apart from fire brigade, ambulance, army, and police, are your lucky uniformed personnel this week for all activities including any kind of rescue, cooking foreign food and diving for fish or molluscs. Men with heavy beards and hats are badly starred unless they are your chosen entrant in an eating competition until dusk on Tuesday.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 In any haunted house type situation favor positions higher than ground floor, away from windows and armour plated statues holding heavy axe type weapons, especially if there are heavy cracks of thunder and rain. You can draw the curtains closed if you want but it really takes away the atmosphere.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 The ability to open locked doors with a credit card has always seemed unlikely to you, but there was a time on the television not too long ago when that happened an awful lot. The planets think now is the time to try it for yourself. Make sure you use only expired credit cards until you get the hang of it.

Friday, June 21, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 24 represents C and 26 represents B, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Good-looking in some flash and some odd way (8) 5 Fish with a finale (4) 9 Instrument to cast out some jokes (5) 10 Chaos when head is cut off before a party - it may be eaten as first course (7) 11 Pool vessel (3) 12 Say! It’s time for Herb (5) 13 Ogled tumble-down hut (5) 14 Old birds found in ‘El Dorado’ doss house (5) 17 Taint without a trace (4) 19 Jealousy for loveless diplomat (4) 21 King takes a meal with a poet (5) 24 Welsh moan about a lady (5) 25 A tree in central Colorado (5) 27 Brit who gives us a ring in mid afternoon (3) 28 Choose a god, Greek lady! (7) 29 Pelt a broken pane (5) 30 Pat’s confused about what’s gone on (4) STANDARD CLUES

Across

Down

1 Optimum (4) 1 Company (8) 3 Maritime (8) 2 Crew (5) 9 Sleep (7) 4 Capture (6) 10 Dividend (5) 5 Shinbone (5) 11 Playful poke (5) 6 Admit (7) 12 Afraid (6) 7 Final (4) 14 Protection from harm (6) 8 Thing (6) 16 Strategy (6) 13 Bold (8) 19 Sentimental song (6) 15 Taste (7) 21 Skinflint (5) 17 Familiar (6) 24 Decorate (5) 18 Respect (6) 25 Set apart (7) 20 Connections (5) 26 Tense (8) 22 Reserve (5) 27 Fewer (4) 23 Heap (4) Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Ajar, 3 Binnacle, 9 Contain, 10 Grave, 11 Style, 12 Retain, 14 Occupy, 16 Scheme, 19 Dabble, 21 Upper, 24 Loner, 25 Useless, 26 Collapse, 27 Cell. Down: 1 Ancestor, 2 Annoy, 4 Ignore, 5 Night, 6 Chalice, 7 Ewer, 8 Make-up, 13 Reprisal, 15 Channel, 17 Causes, 18 Debugs, 20 Burma, 22 Piece, 23 Bloc.

Scribble Pad

Across 1 Attractive (8) 5 Closing passage (4) 9 Stringed instrument (5) 10 Green fruit (7) 11 Cauldron (3) 12 Aromatic herb (5) 13 Cabin (5) 14 Extinct birds (5) 17 Colour lightly (4) 19 Covetousness (4) 21 Englishman romantic poet (5) 24 Female (5) 25 Poplar tree (5) 27 Australian term for a British person (3) 28 Daughter of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra (7) 29 Dish (5)

31 Nameless odd characteristic of men (8) Down 1 Home? Sailor has it in Derby perhaps! (7) 2 Baby sitter for a goat (5) 3 Inclined to use five hundred poles (6) 4 Ditched and made to crumble (6) 6 But with a no and no, upset he continued (2,3,2) 7 Make amends by altering a note (5) 8 A note on night birds’ game (5) 15 United in loneliness (3) 16 Unconscious in Monmouth (3) 18 Counts figures (7) 20 Seek any stranger in New England inhabitants (7) 21 They secure the normal shipping rate (5) 22 Animal from a mountain and a West Coast state (6) 23 A cross-section of chopped down maples (6) 24 Western aid for a puppy (5) 26 A level surface for an aircraft (5) 30 Over (4) 31 Masculinity (8) Down 1 Home (7) 2 Nursemaid (5) 3 Slanted (6) 4 Surrounded by a wide ditch (6) 6 Continuously (2,3,2) 7 Make amends (5) 8 Ball game played on a lawn (5) 15 Single (3) 16 Away (3) 18 Fourth book of the Old Testament (7) 20 New York baseball team (7) 21 Fastening loops (5) 22 Llama-like mammal (6) 23 Taste (6) 24 Dog’s young (5) 26 Flat surface (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Beset, 4 Dish up, 9 Curtail, 10 Paris, 11 Used, 12 Thinner, 13 Who, 14 Beta, 16 Into, 18 Oat, 20 Infidel, 21 Grin, 24 Forgo, 25 Echidna, 26 Nieces, 27 Stove. Down: 1 Backup, 2 Serve, 3 Trap, 5 Implicit, 6 Hard nut, 7 Pastry, 8 Plato, 13 Wardrobe, 15 Enforce, 17 Tiffin, 18 Olden, 19 Engage, 22 Rodeo, 23 Thus.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Are Bah Ere Gel Its Ore Pen Rat Too Urn 4 letter words Aloe Arts Atom Axle

Bare Bell Bray Clop Core Earl Elan Espy Gees Hams Iota Iris Lair Laps Lees Long Rang Ream

Role Rota Rote Stop Tala Talc Tree Trug Urge Ylem 5 letter words Actor Betel Bodes Boxer Floes Geese

Gulls Lapel Latte Lions Neeps Orlop Owlet Piste Roger Sated Tomes Tulip 6 letter words Acidic Agrees Cabins Damage

Rarely Softer 7 letter words Engaged Euphony Federal Legatee Madness Moreish Partner Richest Soothes Townlet 8 letter words Reunited Yourself

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 4 Trees (7) 8 Otro (diferente) (7) 9 Enclosure (area) (7) 10 Example (7) 11 Fin de semana (7) 12 Sagrado (6) 14 Spain (6) 18 Coats (garments) (7) 21 Spoon (7) 22 Enemy (7) 23 Barriles (7) 24 Poppy (7)

Down 1 Padres (7) 2 Boxeador (5) 3 Dummy (for baby) (7) 4 Flechas (6) 5 Pothole (in road) (5) 6 Lentil (7) 7 Espada (5) 13 Plum (7) 15 Platillos (para tazas) (7) 16 Applause (7) 17 Broom (brush) (6) 18 Bee (5) 19 Water tap (5) 20 To know (facts) (5)

Friday, June 21, 2013 Across 1 Which acid gives vinegar its characteristic sour taste? (6) 5 What name is often given to the tall cap of black fur worn ceremonially by certain troops, such as the Guards? (8) 9 Which post-punk band was formed by singer-songwriter Howard Devoto after leaving the Buzzcocks in early 1977? (8) 10 Which disease caused by a deficiency of vitamin C, is characterised by swollen bleeding gums and the opening of previously healed wounds, which particularly affected poorly nourished sailors until the end of the 18th century? (6) 11 What name is given to a person who does not eat meat or fish, and sometimes other animal products, especially for moral, religious or health reasons? (10) 12 Which word can precede: back, cheese, hat, knocks, sell, ship and up? (4) 13 Which potent green aniseed-flavoured liqueur was originally made with wormwood? (8) 16 What name is given to

sloping channels or slides used for conveying things to a lower level? (6) 17 Which American thrash metal band was formed in Huntington Park, California in 1981 by guitarists Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman? (6) 19 Which 1974 British film directed by Michael Apted and starring David Essex and Adam Faith, was the sequel to the 1973 film That’ll Be the Day? (8) 21 Which skin condition prevalent chiefly among adolescents, is characterised by red pimples on the skin, especially on the face, due to inflamed or infected sebaceous glands? (4) 22 Which tapering structure hanging like an icicle from the roof of a cave, is formed of calcium salts deposited by dripping water? (10) 25 What collective name is given to a flock of geese on water or land? (6) 26 In the television sitcom Only Fools and Horses, DelBoy’s unregistered company, based in a grubby threewheeled Reliant Regal van, was known as [Whose] Independent Traders? (8) 27 Which pop album by

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

singer-songwriter Carole King, released in 1971 on Ode Records, is one of the best-selling albums of alltime, with over 25 million

copies sold worldwide? (8) 28 Which adverb means ‘at or in an indicated (usually distant) place’? (6)

Down 2 Which large, long-necked wading bird shares its name with a tall mechanical lifting device? (5) 3 Which verb can mean both ‘to mock or make fun of playfully’ and ‘to gently pull or comb (tangled wool or hair) into separate strands’? (5) 4 What name is applied to simple pictures and symbols made available for computer users to add to their documents? (4,3) 5 Which woman’s domed and lacquered hairstyle popular in the 1960s, is associated with singer Amy Winehouse, Marge Simpson and Patsy Stone, Joanna Lumley’s character in Absolutely Fabulous? (7) 6 Which word completes the title of a 1939 play by Joseph Kesselring and a 1944 film adaptation directed by Frank Capra: [What] and Old Lace? (7) 7 What name is often given to a reserve of money used for illicit purposes, especially political bribery? (5,4) 8 Which city, the administrative centre for the Highland council area, is regarded as the capital of the Highlands of

Scotland? (9) 14 Which close-fitting, woollen cap that covers all of the head but the face shares its name with a Crimean War battle? (9) 15 Funny How Love Can Be and Tossing and Turning were both UK Top 10 hit singles by which 1960s British pop trio? (3,6) 18 Which song written and originally released by Otis Redding in 1965 became a 1967 hit and signature song for Aretha Franklin? (7) 19 Which adjective, meaning ‘naturally having skin of a dark colour’, is derived from the Old English for ‘black’? (7) 20 Which branch of science is concerned with the bodily structure of humans, animals and other living organisms, especially as revealed by dissection and the separation of parts? (7) 23 According to Greek mythology, what name was given any of the older gods who preceded the Olympians and were the children of Uranus (Heaven) and Gaia (Earth)? (5) 24 Which is the first odd prime number? (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LA LIMPIEZA - CLEANING Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

barrer

la basura

el cubo

la escoba

el delantal

la esponja

el plumero

la lavadora

el recogedor

lavar la ropa

el trapo

limpiar a fondo

fregar

quitar el polvo

la aspiradora

sacudir

literature QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Schindler's Ark 2. Sparrow 3. Virgil 4. Aesop it's from the 'Milkmaid and Her Pail'. 5. Bambi 6. Artful Dodger 7. Muriel Spark 8. Pandemonium (Hells capital) 9. Cinderella 10. Peter Shaffer 11. Triton 12. Around the world in 80 days

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 8 Saliva, 9 Ivy, 10 Acid, 11 Greensboro, 12 Trek, 13 Landau, 16 Hedonist, 17 Benches, 18 Tbilisi, 22 Ambrosia, 25 Reagan, 26 Moat, 27 Adam’s apple, 30 Biro, 31 Oak, 32 Nickel. Down: 1 Hair, 2 Fife, 3 Masseuse, 4 Timothy, 5 My Word, 6 East Anglia, 7 Biceps, 14 Ace, 15 Decoration, 19 Birdsong, 20 Ska, 21 Karaoke, 23 Myopia, 24 Slalom, 28 Pack, 29 Leek.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.barrer, 2.el cubo,

15. quitar el polvo, 16.sacudir.

l.to mop, m.the washing machine,

3.el delantal, 4.el plumero, 5.el recogedor, 6.el trapo,

a.to wash the clothes,

n.the vacuum cleaner,

7.fregar, 8.la aspiradora,

b.the rag duster, c.the sponge,

o.the rubbish bin, p.the broom

9.la basura, 10.la escoba,

d.the bucket, e.to spring clean,

11.la esponja, 12.la lavadora,

f.the apron, g.the dustpan,

13.lavar la ropa,

h.to dust, i.to sweep,

14.limpiar a fondo,

j.the feather duster, k.to shake,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2d, 3f, 4j, 5g, 6b, 7l, 8n, 9o, 10p, 11c, 12m, 13a, 14e, 15h, 16k.

1. Thomas Keneally wrote which book that became an Oscar winning film? 2. According to the nursery rhyme who killed Cock Robin - who killed him? 3. Which classical poet said, 'Amor vincet omnia'? (Love Conquers all) 4. Who wrote 'Don't count your chickens before they are hatched'? 5. Felix Salten wrote which novel that Disney turned into an animated film? 6. Who was John Dawkins better known as? 7. Who wrote 'The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie'? 8. In Milton's 'Paradise Lost' what was the lowest point of Hell? 9. What story has been made into 58 different movies? And has been made as a cartoon, porrno, operatic and ballet? 10. Who wrote the play 'Amadeus'? 11. Who was the son of Poseidon and Ampherite? 12. In which book would you find the manservant Pas Partout?

Fill It In

Friday, June 21, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY VIVE LE TV DIFFERENCE!

Granada or Thames, as opposed to the corporate and faceless image that has evolved for the channel over the last decade.

with ALEX TRELINSKI

I’m so pleased that UK TV viewers have grown up in one very big area over recent years, and that’s being happy to watch foreign shows in their original soundtracks with subtitles. I’m sure you remember the grotty kids programmes (often from France) that the

BBC would buy in for virtually nothing in the 60’s and 70’s like The White Horses, Belle and Sebastian or The Flashing Blade, with ridiculous English dubbing done in a London recording studio. In fact, I’m sure that the great Benny Hill did a great

send up of such shows, which would normally have me switching straight over to some American import over on ITV. These days because of the Scandinavian dramas on BBC4, sub-titles are the default standard for

I was delighted to see The Voice romp away in the ratings last Saturday, and tomorrow we have the Grand Final on BBC 1. Leah McFall who has already hit the UK charts must be the favourite to win. The format European imports and quite often than not, they remind right too. Channel Four you that the old pro- changes have worked well, have entered the fray with a grammes may well have but I still think a little more wonderfully atmospheric been better than the current tweaking is needed for next zombie drama from France schedules, and nowhere year. With all four mentors called The Returned. It’s was this better proven than guaranteed an act in the very different from the by last weekend’s Goodbye final that means losing Walking Dead, as you’d Granadaland on ITV. My some crackers along the expect from that country, it first ITV memories were in way, and I think that needs is something of a slow-burn- the early sixties watching to be looked at. Otherwise it er, but just as enjoyable Granada in Manchester, and has been a good run, and nevertheless. These Euro the company was the real we’re bound to get a better dramas do offer something trendsetter for ITV. The clips winner than the unimpresdifferent, and as and interviews, including sive Leanne Mitchell last Mr.Murdoch continues to Philip Lowrie deputising for year! For her mentor, Sir buy up most of the big a somewhat indisposed Bill Tom Jones, to say that he American shows for his Roache with memories of hasn’t even listened to her channels, the UK based the first ever Coronation album, speaks volumes! services have cleverly built Street, were great. Of Is anybody bothering to up an affordable catalogue course a lot of rubbish prowatch Big Brother on of shows that are worth grammes were brushed aside, but I’d suggest most Channel Five? I loved the watching. TV nostalgia clip shows fans of ITV would rather first few seasons of it on are always very dan- have a quick return to the Channel Four, but the sellgerous for the broadcaster big companies with a by date expired a long long flavour like time ago! that screens them. More regional

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 01:20 01:25 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:30 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:45 17:30 Mouth 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

This Week Holiday Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Crimewatch Roadshow Homes Under the Hammer Robbed, Raided, Reunited Cowboy Trap Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country Perfection Hairy Bikers' Best of British Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless BBC News Weather The One Show Rip Off Britain EastEnders Would I Lie to You? Miranda Mrs Brown's Boys BBC News National Lottery Update The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:20 01:50 05:00

Horizon Panorama This Is BBC Two The Genius of Invention

05:30 Schools - The Science of Space Dive 06:00 Schools - Play On! 06:25 Schools: Dance with the Elements 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 08:30 Cowboy Trap 09:15 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Question Time 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis from Eastbourne 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Father Brown 20:15 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Nature's Microworlds 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Wild Shepherdess with Kate Humble 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Harbour Lives 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Britain's Secret Homes 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 The Deer Hunter

PHONESHOP New series. Return of the comedy following the lives of salespeople at a high-street mobile-phone retailer. Times are hard for the staff, with star salesman Little Gary Patel behind bars and austerity measures causing potential customers to rethink their financial priorities. However, the everresourceful Ashley and Jerwayne believe they have come up with the perfect money-making scheme. Meanwhile, Shelley goes on the warpath and Janine socialises with the cream of Croydon.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 24 Hours in A&E 01:10 The Human Mannequin 02:10 Royal Ascot 02:40 Edward VIII: The Lion King 03:35 How to Find Love Online 04:30 Dispatches 05:00 Food Unwrapped 05:30 Wild Things 06:00 Location, Location, Location 06:55 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:05 Will & Grace 08:25 According to Jim 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course 13:40 Three in a Bed 14:40 Royal Ascot 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:35 PhoneShop

June 21

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Emergency Bikers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Pregnancy Pact 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 The Removal Men 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 Big Brother 23:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

The Courier Saturday TV

June 22

02:50 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two

00:25 Road Trip

07:10 Higher and Higher

01:50 Weatherview

08:35 Trail Street

01:55 BBC News

10:00 A History of Scotland

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple

11:00 Reel History of Britain 11:30 Life in the Freezer 12:00 Life in the Freezer

Suppers 13:00 BBC News; Regional News

12:30 Just a Minute 13:00 Hairy Bikers' Best of British

and Weather

13:45 Tennis from Eastbourne

13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Escape to the Country

16:05 EastEnders 18:00 Flog It!

15:00 Live Athletics 19:05 BBC News; Regional News

19:00 Horizon 20:00 Horizon

and Weather 19:20 Pointless Celebrities

20:30 Dad's Army 21:00 The Many Faces of

20:15 The Voice UK 22:20 The National Lottery

22:00 Calendar Girls 23:45 QI XL

Saturday Night Draws

02:55 Jackpot247 04:00 Escape to Victory 05:55 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Jake and the Neverland Pirates 07:25 The Hive 07:40 Dino Dan 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Almost Naked Animals 08:35 Ultimate Spider-Man 09:00 Jessie 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Dinner Date 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:15 Murder, She Wrote 12:10 ITV News and Weather 12:14 ITV Meridian Weather 12:15 Saturday Farm 13:15 All Star Mr & Mrs 14:20 River Monsters 15:20 Columbo: A Matter of Honor 16:55 The 'Burbs 18:45 ITV News Meridian 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 You've Been Framed! 19:45 You've Been Framed! 20:15 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 21:15 The Nation's Favourite Dance Moment 22:45 The Americans 23:40 ITV News and Weather 23:54 ITV Meridian Weather 23:55 Terminator 2: Judgment Day

00:05 Trojan Donkey 01:35 Random Acts 01:40 Royal Ascot 02:10 The Million Pound Drop Live 03:40 New Girl 04:00 The Mindy Project 04:20 The New Normal 04:45 Accidentally on Purpose 05:05 St Elsewhere 05:55 Location, Location, Location 06:50 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 The Grid 08:30 Ironman Triathlon 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Morning Line 11:00 Frasier 12:05 The Big Bang Theory 12:35 The Big Bang Theory 13:05 The Simpsons 13:35 Heston's Fantastical Food 14:40 Royal Ascot 19:00 Stephen Fry: Gadget Man 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 World's Weirdest Weather 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:35 The Big Dirty List Show: 50 Years of Sex and Music

THE VOICE UK

22:30 Casualty 23:20 BBC News; Weather 23:40 Match of the Day

00:00 Weather 00:05 The Shipping News

After six weeks of blind auditions, three battle shows, two knockout rounds and two live programmes, the grand final is here - with just four contestants remaining, all eager to be crowned The Voice 2013 and win a recording contract. Holly Willoughby and Reggie Yates present as the hopefuls perform a song of their own choice and then duet with their coaches, after which the act with the fewest votes leaves the competition.

01:50 Question Time

00:30 Big Brother 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Motorsport Mundial 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 11:05 The Mr Men Show 11:20 Power Rangers Samurai 11:55 ThunderCats 12:20 The Hotel Inspector 13:20 Big Brother 14:45 Rio Bravo 17:30 El Dorado 19:55 CSI: NY 21:20 NCIS 22:15 5 News Weekend 22:20 Big Brother 23:20 Big Brother's Bit on the Psych

The Courier Sunday TV 00:30 Arlington Road

00:30 The Mosquito Coast

02:20 Weatherview

02:20 This Is BBC Two

02:25 BBC News

07:00 This Is BBC Two

07:00 Breakfast

07:40 Born to Be Bad

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

09:10 Gardeners' World

11:00 The Big Questions

09:40 The A to Z of TV Gardening

12:00 Sunday Politics

10:30 The Beechgrove Garden

13:20 Countryfile

11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

14:15 Bargain Hunt

12:30 Live Rowing

15:00 Homes Under the Hammer

14:30 Wimbledon 2013

16:00 Perfection 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:45 Lifeline 17:55 Songs of Praise 18:30 Earthflight 19:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The White Queen 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Andy Murray: The Man Behind the Racquet

15:30 Live Athletics 19:15 Flog It! 20:00 Venus and Serena 21:00 The Secret Life of the Sun 22:00 Rise of the Continents 23:00 Blackadder II 23:30 Mock the Week

02:25 Jackpot247 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Jake and the Neverland Pirates 07:25 The Hive 07:40 Dino Dan 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Almost Naked Animals 08:35 Kick Buttowski - Suburban Daredevil 08:50 Kick Buttowski - Suburban Daredevil 09:00 Sonny with a Chance 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Country House Sunday 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:24 ITV Meridian Weather 12:25 Agatha Christie's Murder with Mirrors 14:20 Love Your Garden 15:20 A Touch of Frost 17:20 You've Been Framed! 17:50 Beethoven's 4th 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:00 Agatha Christie's Marple 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 The Talent Show Story

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

Romantic comedy starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. When Sam Baldwin's wife dies, he is left to bring up his eight-year-old son Jonah alone, and decides to move to Seattle to make a new start. On Christmas Eve, Jonah rings a radio phone-in with his Christmas wish to find a new wife for his dad. Meanwhile in Baltimore, journalist Annie Reed, who is having doubts about her own relationship, is listening in.

01:05 02:15 02:40 04:10 04:35 06:20 06:40 06:45 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:30 09:00 09:30 10:00 10:30 13:35 14:05 14:35 16:25 17:25 18:30 19:00 19:05 21:00 22:00 23:00

The Experiments Royal Ascot The Million Pound Drop Live 4Funnies Hollyoaks Deal or No Deal Kirstie's Handmade Treasures SuperScrimpers The Treacle People The Hoobs Blenheim Palace Triathlon Ironman Triathlon Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Stormbreaker Deal or No Deal Hollywood Me Channel 4 News The Political Slot 17 Again Terror in the Skies The Returned Whiteout

June 23

00:20 Neighbours 01:25 SuperCasino 04:55 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:20 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:35 Mio Mao 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 Castle Farm 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 ThunderCats 12:00 Highland Emergency 12:30 The Girl with 7 Mums 13:30 Big Brother 14:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 15:30 Arthur and the Invisibles 17:20 Wimbledon 19:05 Sleepless in Seattle 21:00 Once Upon a Time 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Business

The Courier Monday TV

June 24

03:40 Holby City 00:25 Before Sunrise

04:40 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two

02:00 Weatherview

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer

02:05 BBC News

08:05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Escape to the Country

08:35 Cowboy Trap 09:20 The A to Z of TV Gardening 10:05 Coast 11:05 Country Show Cook Off 11:35 Click

13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2013

12:00 Daily Politics 12:30 Wimbledon 2013 17:20 Heir Hunters 18:05 Flog It!

19:00 BBC News

18:50 Wimbledon 2013

19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show

21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 Rick Stein's India

20:30 Fake Britain

23:00 What a Load of Buzzcocks

21:00 EastEnders

23:30 Weather

21:30 Panorama 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got Old News for You

00:00 What a Load of Buzzcocks 00:30 Glastonbury

00:15 Drama Trails 01:15 The Store 03:15 Motorsport UK 04:05 British Superbike Championship Highlights 05:00 Monk 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Benidorm

01:00 The Big Bang Theory 01:25 Hero 03:05 Nelson's Navy 04:00 Southland 04:45 Location, Location, Location 05:45 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 Will & Grace 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course 13:35 Journey to the Center of the Earth 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Brendan's Magical Mystery Tour 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches 22:00 The Man with the 10-Stone Testicles: A Bodyshock Special 23:00 The Greatest Shows on Earth

THE MAN WITH THE 10 STONE TESTICALS Cameras follow 49-year-old Las Vegas resident Wesley Warren Jr before and after an operation on his giant scrotum, which began swelling in 2008. Doctors refer to his rare condition as scrotal elephantiasis or scrotal lymphedema, characterised by excess watery fluid collecting in tissues of the body.

02:45 Countryfile

01:05 Bomb Patrol 02:05 SuperCasino 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 The Last Trimester 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Traveller Feuds 23:00 Big Brother

The Courier Tuesday TV

June 25

05:00 Schools - Beneath the Lab Coat: 1 00:20 BBC News: The Editors 00:50 The Graham Norton Show 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Escape to the Country 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2013 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Life Savers 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Imagine

00:20 Rise of the Continents 01:20 Bradford: City of Dreams 02:20 The Super League Show 03:05 This Is BBC Two

06:00 Schools - Cracking the Code 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:35 Heir Hunters 09:20 The A to Z of TV Gardening 10:05 Watchdog 11:05 Country Show Cook Off 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 Daily Politics 12:30 Wimbledon 2013 17:20 Heir Hunters 18:05 Flog It! 18:50 Wimbledon 2013 21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 The Route Masters: Running London's Roads 23:05 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 The Americans 01:20 Monk 02:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Nature's Newborns 21:00 Love Your Garden 22:00 Secrets from the Workhouse 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories

SECRETS FROM THE WORKHOUSE

In the first of a two-part documentary, TV presenter Fern Britton, actor Brian Cox, author Barbara Taylor Bradford and model Kiera Chaplin - granddaughter of silent-film star Charlie Chaplin - go on an emotional journey to uncover how their ancestors were driven into the Victorian workhouse by poverty.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Child Genius 01:15 Bi-Curious Me 02:10 This Is England '88 03:05 Beauty & the Beast 04:00 Secret Eaters 04:55 Location, Location, Location 05:50 Deal or No Deal 06:45 SuperScrimpers 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 Will & Grace 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course 13:35 River Cottage 14:05 Rooster Cogburn 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Brendan's Magical Mystery Tour 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Something for Nothing 22:00 Child Genius 23:00 Dates 23:35 How to Find Love Online

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Mystery Woman 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Monkey Life 20:30 Highland Emergency 21:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Big Brother

The Courier Wednesday TV

June 26

Coat: 2 06:00 Schools - Spark 00:45 Forces of Nature 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wimbledon 2013 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Regional News and Weather 14:20 Wimbledon 2013 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Rhys Jones's Wildlife Patrol 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:20 The Secret Life of the Sun 01:20 The Apprentice 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools - Apprentice for a Day

00:35 01:25 04:00 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 04:45 08:30 Heir Hunters 06:05 09:15 The A to Z of TV Gardening 07:00 09:30 10:00 Helicopter Heroes Down 10:25 Under 11:30 10:30 Monty Don's French Gardens 13:30 14:30 11:30 Country Show Cook Off 14:55 12:00 Lifeline 15:00 16:00 12:10 Coast 16:59 12:30 Spending Review 17:00 16:00 Wimbledon 2013 18:00 19:00 17:20 Heir Hunters 19:30 18:05 Flog It! 20:00 18:50 Wimbledon 2013 20:30 21:00 21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 22:00 Horizon 23:00 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired 23:30 23:35 23:30 Newsnight 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer

The Americans Jackpot247 Loose Women ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather May the Best House Win Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street All Star Mr & Mrs Love and Marriage ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Joanna Lumley's Nile

WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?

00:35 Random Acts 00:40 The Greatest Shows on Earth 01:40 Poker 02:40 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:35 British GT Championship 04:00 The Grid 04:30 Blenheim Palace Triathlon 05:20 Ironman Triathlon 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 Will & Grace 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course 13:35 SuperScrimpers 13:55 Blood Alley 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Brendan's Magical Mystery Tour 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Hollywood Me 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Dates 23:35 Why Am I Still Single?: First Cut

Documentary in which a bachelor and a single woman scrutinise each other's romantic lives in an attempt to discover where they are going wrong in their search for love. The two strangers meet their subject's friends and families, gain access to e-mails and social networking accounts and interrogate ex-partners, before meeting face to face and revealing why they think the other person is still single.

05:40 Schools - Beneath the Lab

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Cricket on 5 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Traders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 CSI: NY 16:10 Pretend You Don't See Her 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Paul Merton in India 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Big Brother

The Courier Thursday TV

June 27

06:00 Spark 06:30 Schools - You Too Can Be an 00:05 D-Day: The Last Heroes 01:05 Wah-Wah 02:45 Weatherview 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Escape to the Country 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2013 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 20:55 Match of the Day Live 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:35 The Americans 01:25 Jackpot247 06:55 Wonders of Nature: Mandarin 04:00 British Touring Car Championship Duck - First Flight 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 This Is BBC Two 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 08:15 Coast 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 08:35 Heir Hunters 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 09:20 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:30 ITV News and Weather 10:05 Great Continental Railway 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather Journeys 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:05 Country Show Cook Off 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 11:35 HARDtalk 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 12:00 Daily Politics 19:00 ITV News Meridian 12:30 Wimbledon 2013 19:30 ITV News and Weather 17:20 Heir Hunters 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 18:05 Flog It! 21:00 Emmerdale 18:50 Wimbledon 2013 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 Happy Families 22:00 Who Were the Greeks? 23:00 ITV News at Ten and 23:00 Mock the Week Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 Weather 23:35 The Zoo Absolute Genius

EYE SPY 00:20 The Route Masters: Running London's Roads 01:20 Horizon 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Fit to Rule: How Royal Illness Changed History 05:30 Schools: Regency Life - 3 Lives in 1 Day

Hidden-camera show that tests the nation's moral compass by playing out various dilemmas and psychological conundrums in public to see how people react. Diners from the North and South are challenged to stick up for a couple being victimised by a racist waiter, a bag full of money is left in a phone box to find out whether anyone will take it, and the residents of London, Manchester and Brighton are given the opportunity to steal a ÂŁ500 bicycle. Narrated by Stephen Fry.

00:35 First Dates 01:35 Random Acts 01:40 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:55 One Born Every Minute USA 02:50 The Bad News Bears 04:30 Location, Location, Location 05:20 SuperScrimpers 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 Will & Grace 08:25 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course 13:35 River Cottage 14:30 Anne of the Indies 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Brendan's Magical Mystery Tour 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Compare Your Life 22:00 First Dates 23:00 Eye Spy

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 National Heads Up Poker Championships 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Honeymoon for One 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 The Hotel Inspector 21:00 Cowboy Traders 22:00 Extraordinary People 23:00 Big Brother

Friday, June 21, 2013

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ANIMALS Pet Travel UK family pet transporters Spain / UK. Travel with your pet for free. All air conditioned vehicles (no vans) www.pettraveluk. co.uk UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 678 756 644 (124)

the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian. CommunityChurch@gmail.c om or contact Reverend Eddie on 966769300 or 650509606. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

CARS FOR SALE

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during

CARPENTER

Commercials, Sports and Performance 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com V.W. Beetle Cabriolet 2003, 2 owners, 57,000 kms, FSH, ALLOYS, , 6 CD, A/C, remote central locking, cream with power hood, lovely condition 8750 euros (more cabriolets in stock) 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PROPERTY FOR RENT

Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party! Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 Looking for a car a good selection of LHD & RHD vehicles in stock FOR SALE or EXCHANGE, Cabriolets, Automatics, Saloons, MPV 7 Seater 4 x 4,

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool &

solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (128) Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata. Close to all amenities and beach. 3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or

CONSTRUCTION

CAR BOOT SALE

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals. Call us on 96 692 3963 Playa Flamenca, 2 bedroom ground floor apartment with garden in lovely urbanization available for long term rental call 619454266 during office hours. (123) El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. KBJ3 – Luxury duplex penthouse apartment locat-

BLINDS

AUCTIONS

ed near the marina in Guardamar. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, amazing panoramic views, inc.parking and storage. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR21 – A rare chance to rent a frontline beach apartment in Torrevieja! Ground floor with large terrace, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, direct and full-on sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 CBR18 – Detached Spanish villa, beachside Punta Prima, 4 bedrooms, garage, 1200 m2 plot, own pool, 900 € pcm. 966 923 963

BARBER ALARMS

CATERING

626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS

Friday, June 21, 2013 CBR27 – Ground floor apartment in closed luxury residential with beautiful communal gardens, pool, 2 beds 1 walk-in shower, redecorated this year. Only 250m walk to beach, inc.parking. 425€ pcm, call 966 923 963 CBR31 – Town centre apartment in Los Montesinos, all amenities nearby, spacious 2 beds 1 bath 250€ pcm, call 966 923 963 CBR32 : 3 bed, 2 bath apartment in Los Montesinos, very spacious 120 m2, fully furnished, with pool on solarium, only 300 € p/m, call now on 966 923 963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Home and Contents cover Comprehensive policies for house and contents with CASER Seguros - excellent prices for expats; policies available in. Call 966 923 963 for a quote.

Butia Espana Are you trapped. Need to sell quick. We are the only answer for a speedy sale. UK buyers waiting. www.butiaespana .com Telephone 0800 612 7514 or Spain 678 756 644 (124) Torrevieja. Club with 4 bedrooms and bathrooms, large entrance, about 90 m², furnished. Also suitable for office or other commercial, close to Playa de los Locos. Price. €89,000 Phone 686935870 (118) Torrevieja. Well-established restaurant and bar for reasons of age for sale €119,000 Including inventory. 100 m², close to Playa de los Locos. Tel 686935870 (118) Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apartment in San Luis. Great sea and lake views. 55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private

CAR BREAKERS

Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refurbished apartment in a good central location. Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €70,000. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating,

HAIRDRESSER

Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom duplex located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths),

Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons. Greenland Views and all local amenities close by. Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Ref: 520, €80,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

HOUSE / BAR CLEARANCE

Friday, June 21, 2013

Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium. Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant. Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct

access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc. The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof- top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course. Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly compris-

MAN AND A VAN

ing of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242

PETS

Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant beautiful detached villa with very large pool and within walking distance to the Gran Alacant Commercial Centre. This villa comprised of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner, Independent kitchen, roof top storage, solarium, porch & terrace. Large private pool, BBQ area, established gardens and private terraces, Private Parking, Solarium with Views to Alicante. 450m2 plot, fully furnished including white goods. Located in very quiet desirable road. ref.L96. €255,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked. Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central

Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Rare investment!! corner south facing opportunity on Novamar urbanisation.This immaculate ground floor duplex has been kept and maintained to a very high standard inside and out the position is fantastic, enjoys views over the lovely oasis communal pool, surrounded by lawned gardens. Comprising of plot size 100m2 Build Size 90m2, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, AntiGlare Windows, Security Door, Security Grills, Built-in Wardrobes, Extra Storage, Galleria, Electric Panel Heaters, Heated Towel Rails, Air Con (h&c), Ceiling. Fans. Thermo Shower, Vanity Units and decoratively tiled throughout, exquisite garden, Underground private parking. Ref.K10 €139,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local amenities such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach. Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof-top solarium. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large decorative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet loca-

tion in Gran Alacant. Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Gran Alacant detached villa with converted under build and pool. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge- Diner, Front Porch, Large Solarium, decoratively tiled, Irrigated Garden. BBQ and Log Storage Cupboard. Raised walls for Privacy. Also many extras, toldos blinds, freshly decorated interior, Grills, Mosquito Nets, Air Con H/C, Ceiling Fans, Log Burner Fire, Electric Radiators, Heated Towel Rails, Alarmed, Phone Line, Satellite UK TV, private parking. Plot size 310m2 under build 100m2. price includes all furniture.The under build consists of 2 beds, lounge, kit/utility room. ref L79. €250,000 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceiling fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk-in shower, fitted wardrobes. Decorative tiling inside and out. Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, established gardens, water features and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods. Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242

LOCKSMITH

POOL TABLES

PLUMBERS

POOLS

DAMP PROOFING

DRAINAGE

Friday, June 21, 2013 Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, independent kitchen, full roof-top solarium with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking. The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in

a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more. 125.000 Euros Ref No. K23. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the

SURVEYOR

STORAGE

real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever constructed- Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 ensuit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room. Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation system and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref. K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Limited edition bungalow. Only six of this type available in Gran

Alacant. Constructed in 2003 and immaculately maintained on a large plot size of 500m2 with a 10 x 5 pool.Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner leading out onto front porch, independent kitchen including white goods, outside galleria, court yard, large garage with electric door, roof top solarium and private parking. Also built in wardrobes, Toldos blinds, air con H/C, security grills, alarm, security doors, bathrooms heaters, outside toilet, outdoor lighting, irrigation system, attractive and well kept gardens, beautifully tiled inside and out, fire place, English TV, phone line. Being sold with top quality furniture. ref L95. €275,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low maintenance very private gardens with irrigation system, electronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section. Within easy walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and close to local bus and tram route. Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242

RAG AND BONE REMOVALS

Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gardens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished. Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south-facing, very private villa, with woodland and Alicante views. Situated at the end of a small cul-de-sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and storage in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

REMOVALS Move It Now Small removals and deliveries. Spain/UK Budget prices. Last minute jobs undertaken. www.moveitnow.co.uk Telephone UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 678 756 644 (124)

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:- 664 838 581

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Friday, June 21, 2013

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

ENGLAND’S ROSE BLOOMS AT MERION

Last Sunday at Merion Golf Club was supposed to belong to Phil Mickelson. It was his birthday, Father’s Day and his best opportunity in years to win that first elusive U.S. Open championship. The problem is that no one told Justin Rose! Not only did the talented but onceunderachieving player win his first-ever major championship, he did it by beating third-round leader Mickelson, who desperately wanted that title, after finishing as runner up on five previous occasions. Thanks to his skill, guts and ability to comeback when dropping shots, it’s now six second-place finishes for Phil and one huge victory for Rose, who becomes the first Englishman to win a major championship since Nick Faldo did it at the Masters in 1996 and the first Englishman to win the U.S. Open since Tony Jacklin back in 1970. Rose’s accomplishment is one of the most impressive by a first-time winner in years. It's also one that will live among the significant lore of the storied Merion Golf Club, which has produced previous Open champions of the ilk of Ben Hogan and Lee Trevino. He withstood the galleries who were fervently cheering on Lefty from start to finish. He managed to evenly spar with a golf course that brought most to their knees joining 2013 Masters champion Adam Scott as wildly popular first-time winners this year. But most impressively, and perhaps unexpectedly, he defeated Mickelson on the Merion stage that just seemed destined to belong to Lefty. He overcame his own early errors, ignored Mickelson’s lead-stealing eagle from the 10th fairway and played the most consistent golf through the Merion gauntlet known as 14 to 18 to win. He wasn't given the title by someone else’s mistakes. No, he earned his first career major by outplaying Mickelson,

TITTER ON THE TEE Roger won first prize at a Father's Day tournament which was an envelope. When he opened the envelope, he was very surprised to find a voucher for a free visit to a brothel. He had never been to one before but he decided to go the next day even though he was very nervous. The girls were very friendly and soon he found a lovely young lady and went with her to her room. Five minutes later, she came running to the Madam and asked, "Can you tell me what a Mulligan is?"

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION In a fourball better ball matchplay, players A and B are up against players D and C. Player A hit the green with his third shot. It was his turn to putt, being the furthest person from the hole. His putt, stopped about a foot from the hole. The putt wasn't given. Player A tapped it in for a five. Player C said he had gone out of turn and that player A is disqualified on that hole. Is this correct and what is the ruling? A: Player A and B lost the hole for going out of turn. B: The putt stands. C: Players D and C should ask the putt to be taken again. ANSWER. C: Players C and D can ask for the putt to be played again or allow the putt to stand. Rule 10.1 applies. Under this rule, if a player plays when his opponent should have played, there is no penalty, but the opponent may immediately require the player to cancel the stroke and, play in the correct order, playing the ball as close as possible to the spot from which the original ball was last played.

years old. He says:- “ It's nice just to go down to my local club, North Hants, and have a pint in the bar and see some of the old faces and people that have been really, really good to me through the years.” "The secretary always used to give me a rollicking for having my hat on in the clubhouse and stuff like that. So I can't get away with anything that's not acceptable just because I'm known off the golf course."

RORY’S WEDGED OUT!

who desperately sought a major career breakthrough of his own. Many of the contenders wilted under the pressure, but it was Justin Rose who held his own and avoided the huge mistakes that ultimately doomed the likes of Mickelson and other final round challengers. So Rose joins the likes of Payne Stewart and Geoff Ogilvy as players who have denied Mickelson his coveted U.S. Open title. But given the circumstances, the course and the way in which he wasn't handed it but went and took it, there hasn't been a more convincing and impressive U.S. Open winner like Rose in some time. For that, Rose should be immensely proud and congratulated. For Justin Rose, it was all about the family on Sunday with it being Father’s Day. Not only did he keep his deceased father in mind after winning the title, he showed off his shoes that were especially dedicated to his children, Leo and Lottie. They have his initials “JR” embroidered on the side, with the heel etched with his children’s names. Leo is four years old whilst Lottie (Charlotte) was born last year. He also gave special recognition to Mickelson, the runner-up, for going to his daughter’s graduation the night before the first round of the tournament. The American flew back from the West Coast, arriving at 4am on the first morning of the action at Merion! Rose received a winner’s purse of just under £1million and jumped to third in the world rankings, but of far greater significance was the sense of a long and sometimes tricky road coming to an end. After that arrival at Royal Birkdale, Rose missed the cut in his first 21 professional tournaments. In 2000, he had to revisit the qualifying school for the European Tour - like retaking a driving test just a year after passing. Barely 20, he could have been on the scrapheap, destined to forever remain the talented kid in the baggy red jumper. But a slow and assured lift-off came after a return to the country of his birth, South Africa. Rose was born in Johannesburg, but moved with parents Annie and Ken to Hampshire at the age of five. Many youthful hours were spent on the holes at the Hartley Wintney Golf club, just down the road from the family home and he broke 70 for the first time at the age of 11. Encouraged by his teachers at the Robert May’s School in Odiham, his handicap was plus one by the time he was 14

On the other side of the coin (or ball marker), Rory McIlroy had a very tough week at Merion, with his Nike wedge paying the price. McIlroy, the 2011 U.S. Open champion, had been in a slump for much of the season since changing his clubs, something that Nick Faldo warned might happen. En route to his 14-over finish on Sunday, McIlroy lost his second shot into the creek that protects the 11th green at Merion. After the water ball, McIlroy's psyche wasn't the only thing twisted out of shape, as he lent onto the grip of the club with a certain amount of vigor that bent the shaft. Perhaps he should do that to all his Nike Clubs. I wonder if Rory could legally change back, or if he is bound by contract to continue to use clubs that promote mediocrity. Who knows now that he has changed his management team to his dad? It’s not the first time his cool has been lost and his sand wedge takes the blame after failing to hit out of a greenside bunker on the 10th hole during his first round of the BMW PGA Championship on Wentworth’s West Course.

Friday, June 21, 2013

LACK OF ELCHE FIRE POWER IS A FACT

I AM sure everyone bar the Pope now knows that our very own Elche football team have at last conquered their demons, and after three ‘nearly’ years been promoted back to mighty La Liga for the forthcoming season: Real Madrid, Barcelona et al. Great, bring it on! Except, amid the euphoria there are one or two worrying factors, especially if you’re a die-hard Elche supporter like me. I feel I have the right to air them after over ten years of supporting the club through some good – and bad - times, all of them in the second division of Spain. This fantastic season saw the Illicitanos lead from start to finish, deservedly winning promotion by five clear points in the end from closest rivals Villarreal – but there are some worrying statistics concealed beneath the triumphant final figures. To illustrate my point it’s easiest to divide the 42 game sea-

son, not into two halves, but into thirds of 14 games in each. On March 3rd, two-thirds gone, having just efficiently disposed of Recreativo 2 - 1 Elche were leading the league by eleven points and looking good. From that point, i.e. with 14 games left Elche won just four games – and not very convincingly at that. True, the Franjiverdes only lost four too, only once by more than the odd goal, so by elimination the mathematicians can work out the Illicitanos also drew six - and those valuable six points gained were the difference that got Elche promoted in the end: but four draws were goalless, and the other two were 1 – 1. Only 11 goals were scored in those 14 games, hardly promotional form, so it is abundantly clear that it was the magnificent Elche defence that saw them through some dodgy games, those same difficult ones they had lost the previous year and managed to somehow throw away the huge lead built up in the first half of the season, to once more abjectly miss promotion. Elche’s leading goal scorer this season is Coro, with nine goals. Unbelievably next with eight is the left back

Lions tamed by Brumbies

THE LIONS were savaged 14-12 in Canberra on Tuesday, suffering their first tour defeat to a Brumbies team who deserved their historic victory and were well pumped up for the game. Early Lions confidence soon disappeared, and only penalties contributed to their score as Kuridrani scored the only try early in the game for the home side despite two Lions tackles: the visitors found themselves 8 – 3 down at half-time. The Brumbies became the first provincial side since South African side Northern Transvaal in 1997 to tame the Lions, and the result will no doubt boost confidence in the national Wallabies side. This was also the first match where the Lions have failed to score a try in a Test since New Zealand in 2005, and few of the touring players did their chances of selection any real good for the big game tomorrow, when the tour really begins in earnest, with the first test against Australia in Brisbane. Lions coach Warren Gatland has pulled off a surprise by naming England prop Alex Corbisiero in the team. The 24 year old was not selected in the original tour party, but was brought in to replace the injured Cian Healy.

MEDAL FEAST FOR TORRY SWIMMERS Age was no barrier for the swimmers of ‘Club Natacion Torrevieja’ as the different age groups came home with a clutch of medals at the weekend. The Masters team delivered big in a two day regional competition in Valencia. Beth Altabas struck Gold three times in the 65 to 69 years category for the Freestyle, with personal bests for her 50m and 1500m swims! Vicki Connolly got two golds and a silver in the upper-40’s section, whilst Gillian McNiece got a trio of silvers in the upper-30’s section. With the domestic Masters season at an end, Beth and Vicki are now focusing on training for September’s European Championships in Holland. Meanwhile, the Torrevieja youngsters were involved in the summer Valencian Regional competitions at San Vincente, with Victoria Pigneur getting gold and a silver in the Benjamin (9 to 11 year old) categories, with Samira Lucumbi managing a bronze. Many of the other team members notched up personal bests.

and free kick specialist Albacar, followed by winger Xumetra with six - who is now off to Levante - and four players with four each. What this clearly illustrates is Elche badly lack some fire power in attack, or they will not survive next season against La Liga teams. The regular defenders have all deserved their opportunity to play against the best in Spain, but a creative midfielder would also be very welcome, the present set up is lacking skilled drive in the middle. So that’s my in-depth analysis of how Elche stand at the end of this fantastic season. In summary: it’s worrying, for those in the know, but fascinating as we all go up into the unknown. If you fancy climbing aboard for the ride, a season ticket at the mighty Martinez Valero stadium will cost you between 190€ for the cheapest adults seats up high behind the goals, to 580€ in the main stand: children, youths, pensioners, disabled, unemployed and even babies cheaper in all cases). To get to the ground is easy, just hit the Elche ring road, bear right, past the Hospital and Police Station area and keep going into the industrial area at one end of the city until you see the huge stadium: parking is free and a doddle, and should still be next year. Their website is info@elchecf.es and telephone number 96 545 9714 speaking Spanish would help, as the club are not very anglicised. But hey, folks - its football, family-friendly and will be fantastic fun – see you there? Mucho Elche!

EVERY DAY’S A FOOTBALL DAY June 22nd 1986 The hand of Diego Maradona punches in Argentina’s first goal in their World Cup quarter final tie with England. Minutes later he scores a goal of breath-taking beauty as he guides his side to a 2-1 victory. 23rd 1990 Thanks mainly to a 1-0 win over Argentina in the opening match of the World Cup finals (achieved despite having two men sent off), Cameroon become the first Central African nation to qualify for the second stage of the tournament. They beat Romania in the second round before going out 32 to England in the quarter final. 24th 1950 Mexico’s goalkeeper Antonio Carbarjal plays his first game in the World Cup finals for his country. He then went on to play in the ’54, ’58, ’62 and ’66 finals becoming the first player to appear in the final stages of five consecutive tournaments. 25th 1994 FIFA fine both Jack Charlton and the Irish FA £10,000 for touchline misconduct after Ireland’s game with Mexico. John Aldridge is also fined £1,250 for the incident which arose when his entry as a substitute was repeatedly delayed by officials. 26th 1954 Austria beat Switzerland 7-5 in the first round game in Lausanne. The 12 goal aggregate is the highest in a World Cup final tie. The first 45 minutes produced an average of one goal every 5 minutes as the Austrians turned round a 5-4 half time deficit. 27th 1984 Berti Vogts sends the aptly named Stefan Effenberg home from the World Cup finals after he had given supporters a single fingered salute when they barracked him for his poor performance in the 32 win over South Korea. 28th 1958 Just Fontaine scores four times during France’s 6-3 win over West Germany in the 3rd/4th place World Cup play-off match. The goal brings his tournament tally to a record 13. Compiled by STUART EVANS

MON DIEU! Friday, June 14, 2013

Will ‘Joke Kinnear’ parlez well with Pardew?

After last season’s late lunatic leap narrowly avoiding relegation, you’d have thought a bit of closeseason sanity might have been aired in the asylum at St James Park - but it would appear not. In a bewildering move guaranteed to raise Toon Army heckles, the success-challenged previous Newcastle manager Joe Kinnear has been appointed – no, not as manager, that’s ‘Alain’ Pardew but as Director of Football, no less. Mais oui, does Joe parlez francais? He needs to as most of the team are Gallic. Never a friend of the press either, Jumpin’ Joe got off to a bad start in 2008 in his first news conference when he swore live on air 50 times, and has since taken on many critics in an aggressive manner - now seemingly carrying on where he left off. After a successful playing career at Spurs, Kinnear’s finest managerial spell appears to be the seven years he spent at Plough Lane in the nineties in charge of the now defunct ‘crazy gang’ at Wimbledon, since partly split up and sort-of rebuilt at Milton Keynes. Their

John McGregor reports

‘nobody like us’ aggressive style seems to fit Kinnear’s ethos perfectly, but the former Republic of Ireland defender is now 66 and has suffered two heart attacks, the last one while at Newcastle resulting in a triple bypass. The day after Kinnear’s controversial return, the Newcastle Managing Director Derek Llambias resigned, apparently without comment – yet... In his first press interview this week Kinnear got people’s names wrong (again): the said now-departed Derek Llambias, was called ‘Lambazi’ (was that why he went?), Magpies French playmaker Joyan Cabaye was referred to as ‘Joyan Cabab’, and popular striker Shola Ameobi referred to as ‘Shola Amamobi’. Questions: what about Pardew, and his immediate future? Let’s face it, the beleaguered Magpies manager’s already got a few skeletons in his cupboard… Will Kinnear work with Pardew on the pitch, or loftily wheel and deal with transfers in and out? Did mentally-challenged Mike Ashley, the controversial owner of the Newcastle think Kinnear’s return would be greeted quietly with murmurs of appreciation? Apparently his current manager has been ordered to achieve a top ten finish – doddle that in the Prem, Mike - ask Harry Redknapp. Oh, and to spice it up a bit, the new 2013/4

fixtures have just been announced: Newcastle’s first game will be Manuel Pelligrini’s first Manchester City match at the Etihad – game on! Other opening games? David Moyes’ first Man Utd game is at Swansea, and Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea entertain newly-promoted Hull City (it’s August 17rd if you’ve forgotten). Newly-promoted Cardiff go to West Ham and similarly Crystal Palace entertain Tottenham. ‘Pyscho’ Stuart Pearce and England’s Under 21’s have finally and acrimoniously parted, eliminated at the European Cup group stage for the second tournament running: “The players haven't delivered. I'm really disappointed with my team." said Pearce, firmly pointing the finger at his players. Former Nottingham Forest stalwart Pearce was roundly criticised for leaving David Beckham out of Team GB’s side for the Olympics last year. Gareth Southgate and Glenn Hoddle have been linked with the vacancy. The Under 21 tournament was won by Spain’s promising newcomers who beat Italy 4 – 2 in the final. Spain’s Thiago Alcantara scored a first half hat trick that bodes well for the Spaniards to continue their current world football champions status.