Week 131

Edition 131

www.thecourier.es

Friday, August 23, 2013

EU TO CHECK GIB BORDER

War of words continues over disputed rock

By Alex Trelinski

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Euro bosses are to send observers to the Spanish/Gibraltar bor­ der to check out the delays to travellers leaving the British ter­ ritory.

It’s all on the back of the continuing row between Spain and the UK over extra border checks on the Spanish side, which have caused lengthy traffic hold up’s. Britain says the checks break EU free movement rules, but Spain says Gibraltar has not controlled smuggling. The team of EU observers is expected to be despatched soon to assess the legality of the checks.

A row has erupted between Spain and Britain in recent weeks following the installation of an artificial reef by Gibraltar in the waters off the British territo­

ry. The Spanish government has accused Gibraltar of creating the reef, which con­ sists of 70 concrete blocks, "without the necessary authorisation" in "waters that are not theirs". But Gibraltar has said it was trying to

encourage sea­life to flour­ ish.

In response, Spain has imposed tougher checks at the border, which it says are necessary to tackle tobacco smuggling. This has led Britain to accuse Spain of

breaking EU free movement rules. Spanish Foreign Minister, Jose Manuel Garcia Margallo will brief the Spanish Parliament at the start of next month, and he’s insisted that tough anti­

Continued on P3

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Friday, August 23, 2013

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 965 99 66 66 E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

Fountains in Murcia PICTURE TAKEN BY NIGEL STONIER

Seville slaughter A 7 year old girl was killed on Tuesday night in the cross­ fire of a gypsy gang shoot out in Seville. Two groups called Los Perla and Los Marinos traded bullets in a skirmish over drugs, and a family who had nothing to do with either clan got caught up in the gun battle.

The child was shot once in the back with the bullet pene­ trating her lungs and heart, whilst both her parents, in their early thirties, were also hit. Police suspect one of the gangs mistakenly opened fire on the wrong address in a dispute over money, with at least 20 spent cartridges being found around the fami­ ly’s apartment. The gangs then moved a few hundred metres and launched into another gun fight. No arrests were made at the time The Courier went to press.

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cards and phone num­ bers, the woman claimed there were bombs planted in hos­ pitals, malls, bus sta­ tions and at Barcelona, Almeria and Malaga airports.

Four British people have been arrested in a major drugs bust, which has smashed an interna­ tional operation based in Alicante Province. The National Police and Britain’s Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) have been involved in tracking the gang since January. The Brits would get hold of cocaine, cannabis and amphetamines in Spain, and then ship them over to the UK. Spanish cops tipped off their

British counterparts that a van with a 100kilos of hashish was being smuggled through the Channel Tunnel in a van, and offi­ cers arrested the occupants on British soil. Another gang mem­ ber was subsequently arrested on arrival at Manchester Airport, and police also monitored a van that was being used to swap drugs between Holland and Spain. Further arrests were made in Elche, Dolores, Orihuela and Jacarilla.

Forbidden fruit

DIAL I FOR IDIOT

A serial b o m b hoaxer has been arrested by police in Barcelona. The 34 year old woman had called over 20 times making bomb threats across Spain.

Using different sim

BIG DRUG SWOOP

P o l i c e found that she’d also b e e n stealing men’s identi­ ties after meeting them online, using their bank details to buy more mobile units to make the threatening calls.

Over 500 kilos of fruit and veg have been seized from an illegal seller at Torrevieja’s Playa del Cura and given to charity.

Local police commandeered 350 kilos of melons; 88 kilos of peaches; 20 kilos of grapes; 30 kilos of figs; 5 kilos of plums as well as 20 kilos of tomatoes which they passed onto the Food Solidarity organization based in Torrevieja.

TODDLER POOL DEATH

An 18 month old baby drowned in the swimming pool of a house in the town of Moraira­Teulada on Monday lunchtime. Paramedics were unable to revive the child at the scene.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 28° Low 21° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 27 Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 28° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 29° Low 23° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 28° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Sunny High 28° Low 21° Chance of rain 20%

Thursday Sunny High 27° Low 20° Chance of rain 0%

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Friday, August 23, 2013

You’ve got to pick a pocket or two NICE TRYSKI Murcia’s Guardia Civil has arrested a young gang of rob­ bers who besides stealing, indulged in intimidation and vio­ lence focusing on La Manga’s popular tourist area of El Souk.

Four of the five gang members, aged in their late teens or early twenties, come from La Union, in addition to two minors who were also picked up following an on­going Guardia investigation into a street gang that were operating in the region. A 52 year­old “Fagan” like figure, who was part of the arrested five, seemed to mastermind their actions.

Young people were the main targets, with cash and mobile phones the items that the thieves went for. Anybody that didn’t hand over what they wanted was beaten, with weapons being used against them. Most of the assaults took

A Russian man who was found guilty of attempted robbery at a San Pedro del Pinatar school has been appealing his verdict with a novel defence. After being found guilty in a Cartagena court of the 4 year old crime, he took his appeal to the Murcia Provincial Court on the grounds that he was not guilty because the alarm had gone off at the San Pedro Apostle school before he could steal anything, and that he was not in possession of any items when he was nicked.

Aged 20 at the time, the man had been sentenced to 11 months in jail and fined 525 Euros.

place at the weekend and during the evening. A number of the gang members have criminal records, and all are Spanish nationals.

Torrevieja on the rails?

Torrevieja could be linked up to a new coastal rail link between Alicante and Valencia. The feasibility of doing so is being looked at as part of the plan for the so­called “Tren de la Costa”.

Torrevieja has campaigned repeated­

ly over recent years for the restora­ tion of the old rail link which was closed in the 1980’s. The feasibility study for the whole project is expect­ ed to cost 1 million Euros and will take two years.

Paws in the sand Dogs should be allowed on some of Torrevieja’s beaches and it would be good for tourism: ­ that’s the view of Torrevieja Council’s opposition PSOE group. Their leader, Dora Fernandez is proposing at least one designated beach where the dogs and their owners would be allowed to walk and play. He added that dogs are seen as an important part of the family, and that the image of the city would be improved if a beach could be used by them.

Potent brew? There was a farmer Ryanair forced with a gun…… to cough up Orihuela Costa police arrested a 44 year old Romanian man who allegedly went out of con­ trol during a house party. The incident in the La Cineulica area of Los Altos started after a neighbour complained about the noise coming from next door. The Romanian chased the man back to his home, threatening him with vio­ lence and throwing stones at him. The aggrieved neighbour rang the police, who arrived and were unable to calm the situation down as the Romanian threw a punch at the jaw of one of the officers, who pushed him away before any contact was made. He was carted off to the police station, as he tried to inflict injuries to himself by head­butting the inside of the car on his way to custody.

Murcia region farmers have declared war on rural robbers, and are considering taking up arms to stop a current stealing spate. Farmer’s spokesman, Vincente Carrión said that rural crime is getting out of control and that farmers have lost patience. In the Cartagena area, he said that two farms had power generators stolen in the last week, whilst three others had been broken into.

The Guardia Civil have warned farmers that they are not allowed to use firearms to deter would­be intruders, even if the firearms are legally owned. To avoid legal difficulties, farmers' groups are looking into acquiring qualifications as 'country guards’, which gives them a legal standing to patrol their land and carry a firearm.

Carrión hoped that the Guardia and local police would coordi­ nate their efforts better and continue to work with local farm­ Low­cost airline Ryanair will have to pay 1,222.26 Euros of ers to stop the current waving of robberies. compensation to a family whom it would not allow to board one of its flights, given that it refused to accept the identity documents of their three­year­old child.

A court in Palma de Mallorca reached the decision after the case was taken to the justice system by Spain’s state air agreed to allow an EU fact­finding Barroso he has "serious concerns" authorities. The events date back to January 2011, when a mission during a phone call last that Spain's actions are "politically married couple and their three­year­old son were trying to Monday with EU Commission motivated". Meanwhile Barroso travel from a short break in Barcelona to their home, on Ibiza.

President Jose Manuel Barroso. In a warned Spain that it would be 'ille­ The family presented ground staff with the Spanish Libro statement, the European gal' to charge a fee to cross the de Familia — a passport­style document containing informa­ Commission said: "They agreed that Gibraltar border into Spain. Barroso tion on a husband, wife and any children they might have — a commission fact­finding mission told Mariano Rajoy to 'respect EU as well as a residency certificate. Under Spanish law these should as soon as possible examine laws' in its tensions with the UK are valid documents for under­14s to fly. However, the com­ in loco the border control/movement over boundary issues with the Rock pany refused to accept the documents, demanding instead a of people and goods questions. and said that although Brussels did passport or Spanish identity card (DNI).

President Barroso expressed his not intend to pass comment 'official­ The court ruled that the compensation paid will cover the hope that Spain and the UK will ly' over the 50­euro border charge cost of the new flights the family had to pay for, the hotel address these matters in a way that threatened by the foreign affairs room they needed while stranded in Barcelona, and the day is in line with their common mem­ minister – since it had not yet been of work missed by the husband as a result of the incident. bership in the EU." applied – if Spain were to go ahead Just over a month ago a Valencia court forced Ryanair to British Prime Minister David on this basis, it would be breaking pay just over 1 thousand Euros to a family for a similar inci­ Cameron has previously told Mr the law. dent, this time involving a two­year­old girl.

EU TO CHECK GIB BORDER

From page 1

smuggling measures will continue at the border. He called for the removal of the reef as a pre­condi­ tion for talks with the UK over Gibraltar, whilst in turn Downing Street has said that the reef is in Gibraltarian waters, and that they are not interested anyway in talks that would encompass sovereignty.

Margallo met with his British count­ er­part, William Hague, in Brussels this week at a Foreign Ministers conference, where it was alleged that Gibraltar was not even men­ tioned.

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy

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Friday, August 23, 2013

Banks still in the mire SPAIN’S BIG EXODUS Spain is shrinking, with the country’s population falling for the first time since 1971. The National Statistics Institute (INE) says that the population stood at 46,704,314 on January 1st of this year, which shows an annual fall of 113,902.

The only communities which had slight rises were Andalucía, the Balearic and Canary Islands, Ceuta and Melilla.

Places where the population dropped the most drastically were Castilla y León, Asturias and Catalonia.

Professor Carolina Montoro from Navarra University says the drop is due to Spaniards getting better paid jobs in

SPAIN has hit an unwel­ come record: ­ the largest debt figures in 50 years, according to latest figures from the Bank of Spain.

Their June statistics show that bad debt, mainly in the form of defaulting property loans, now accounts for 11.4% of the country´s total credit; an increase of 0.4% from May and the highest

level since November 2012.

There was a slight drop in the bad debt ratio at the end of last year following the launch of the so called “bad bank” which is to swallow up large amounts of toxic real estate that had brought down several Spanish banks. That institution takes on building plots and unfin­ ished developments, and is

A 48 year old Spanish car driver died in a head­on col­ lision with a lorry heading down a motorway slip road. expected to sell the stock at The truck was travelling a profit within the next 15 down the road to join the years.

Alicante bound carriageway Loans and arrears rose of the AP7 just outside once again at the start of the Rojales on Monday night, year, however, dampening when it crashed into the car.

Spanish bank earnings in The accident happened at the first half of the year, around 11.30 pm, and although a number have according to the Guardia reported a slowdown in the Civil, the car was illegally rate of increase in the sec­ travelling up the slip road ond quarter. before the collision. The lorry driver was unhurt.

BEACH DEATH

A 70 year old bather died from a suspected heart attack at Santiago de la Ribera’s Colon Beach yesterday morning (Thursday). 2 ambulances were sent to the scene but were unable to revive the man.

other countries and a falling birth rate, which is currently one of the lowest in the western world.

Between 2001 and 2012, the Spanish population rose by 6 million, but this was mainly due to a big rise in immi­ grants, as well as higher birth rates.

Over the last 5 years, 1.5 million immi­ grants have quit Spain, either to return home or to go to another country in search of work. Almost 600,000 Spaniards have gone abroad for work, most of whom are aged between 25 and 44, with many finding jobs in the UK, France and Germany.

Rojales smash

EL CORTE DE DEBT

MORE JELLYFISH WARMER air and sea temperatures have meant the return of jellyfish to the northern part of Alicante Province. There’s been a substantial rise in people

reporting being stung in the water, especially in the Javea area. There’ve been no major reports from the Southern Costa Blanca or Costa Calida.

Mobile users switch off

CLOSE to 3 million mobile phone contracts have not been renewed by Spanish customers in the last year, due to the reces­ sion and the high costs compared to other European countries.

Nearly 160,000 people

scrapped their phone con­ tract in June, the tenth con­ secutive month in which mobile use has declined, according to regulators.

Industry watchdog the CMT revealed that the overall figure of mobile users had dropped to 51.9

million, compared to 54.6 million a year ago. It added there has been a small increase in broadband web subscriptions, but not enough to offset the num­ ber of people taking their mobile devices offline com­ pletely.

HASH STASH AWASH

A perfectly sealed bundle of hashish weighing some 30 kilos was found by the Santa Pola and Elche marine police between the El Pinet and the Gola beaches, a few hundred metres off the shore. Cops said that the hashish had been split into tablets of 125 grams.

Meanwhile, police at Alicante Bus station intercepted an Algeciras to Barcelona coach on Monday night, and discovered some 2 kilos of hashish hidden amongst some honey cakes. A sniffer dog had smelt an aroma of drugs at a seat occupied by a Moroccan man, who then had his luggage searched in an office, where they found the

drugs. Police arrested the traveller, as well as seizing his drugs, 170 Euros, and his mobile phone.

DIRTY HABIT

A Spanish friar has been arrested as part of an investigation into an alleged paedophile ring. The 48­ year­old, from Malaga, is accused of planning to kidnap children and drug them before subjecting them to sadistic sex acts.

The 18­month investigation was launched following an anonymous tip­off and has so far led to the arrest of eight people throughout Spain. The friar, who worked at a welfare centre, has been released on bail.

SPAIN’S famous depart­ ment store, El Corte Ingles, has had to slash its prices to stay in busi­ ness.

The country’s largest privately held

company has suffered from falling sales, and is in debt to the tune of 5 bil­ lion Euros.

Food and drink prices have seen the biggest

reductions as El Corte Ingles tries to compete with cheaper retailers. The company, which has out­ lets in Alicante, Elche, and Murcia, has agreed a deal with its banks to refinance 76% of its debt, worth around 3.8 billion Euros.

The new loans will mature in 2021, with El Corte Ingles saying that it has assets worth 7.4 billion euros and annual rev­ enues of around 15 billion euros which would help to persuade other banks to refinance the remainder of its debt.

Elche’s new market look

ELCHE’S Central Market building is set for a major makeover, which will also mean a new look for the city’s Plaza de las Flores, which Councillor Vicente Granero claimed last Monday would revolutionise the area. The current Market building would be replaced by a structure that would have room for two major shops, and 40 food market “pitches”, along with a 300 space multi­story car park. The construction tender is worth just over 9 million Euros.

THE PRICE OF LOVE IT’S going to cost you up to 580 Euros a day if you want to get hitched at Torrevieja’s Eras de la Sal. The Courier recently reported that the council will allow wed­ dings to take place at city venues, and now a list of tariffs has been published, led by the Eras de la Sal. A security deposit of just under 1200 Euros will have to be paid to use the whole of the venue, but there are more modest offers available like the Park of Nations stage at just 72 Euros.

Friday, August 23, 2013

RAIDER OF THE STOLEN HELMET

A real­life Indiana Jones has been arrest­ ed in Zaragoza and charged with stealing at least 2,000 ancient artefacts including swords, spears and a rare helmet from Spanish archaeological sites.

The Guardia Civil raided the home of the former metal­detector shop owner and found maps of archaeological sites across Aragon plus a treasure trove of 2,000 pieces, some of them in poor condition.

They also recovered a helmet that was"very similar to some Celtiberian pieces auctioned in Munich," according to the Guardia. The helmets in question appeared at German auctions between 2008 and 2012 and are suspected to have been smuggled out of Spain. The El Pais newspaper says that experts have been analysing the artefacts to determine their exact origin, with the man charged with crimes against Spanish heritage on August

4th.

His arrest is related to a series of other investigations dating back to 1990 when 4th to 2nd Century B.C. Celtiberian hel­ mets, believed by experts to come from archaeological sites in Spain, first popped up in Germany. Despite complaints from both German and Spanish authorities, the helmets were eventually sold at auction for prices of between 19 and 77 thousand Euros. An investigation finally began in 2011 at the behest of Spanish authorities.

Dubbed 'Helmet I', it resulted in the arrest of Ricardo Granada who had plun­ dered archaeological sites for 15 years to accumulate a haul of over 4,000 artefacts.

Documents and materials discovered in his possession led to a second investigation, 'Helmet II', which ended with this month’s Zaragoza raid. The arrested man is a known former accomplice of Granada.

The missing stretch of the RM­1 route is set to be completed thanks to European Union money, which will mean a direct link between San Javier and the A7 road between Murcia and Alicante.

Over 35 million Euros will come from a European development fund to finish

off the connection between Zeneta and Santomera, which was infamously left unfinished as the project money run out in 2010. The road stopped suddenly before some lemon groves and was nicknamed as the “Highway of the Bed”. Some 240 jobs will be created, and a cycle way will also be built.

La Manga Club is chasing quadruple glory at the end of this month after receiving four nominations at the 2013 World Travel Awards – the travel indus­ try’s equivalent of the Oscars. The five­ star resort has been nominated in four categories – Europe’s Leading Golf Resort, Sports Resort and Villa Resort, and the Leading Golf Resort in Spain – at the World Travel Awards Europe gala ceremony, which will take place at Cornelia Diamond Golf Resort & Spa in Antalya, Turkey, on August 31.

La Manga Club has been voted as the best golf resort in Spain by UK readers of Today’s Golfer magazine for the last two years, as well hosting the 2013 Spanish Amateur International Golf Championship and is the overseas train­ ing base of the Lawn Tennis Association

until 2016.

The World Travel Awards are acknowl­ edged across the globe as the ultimate travel honour, celebrating those brands that are pushing the boundaries of industry excellence. More than 500 organisations from across Europe have been nominated for the competition for the most influential accolade in travel, with in excess of 57 countries compet­ ing for awards across 76 categories.

Peter Nieuwland, sales and marketing director at La Manga Club, said: “To be nominated in so many categories is proof of the high regard that La Manga Club is held in across Europe. It’s a great reward for all the hard work that goes in to making the resort a continued success and we’re hoping for a success­ ful night.”

Missing link to be found

And the winner is……

5

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Friday, August 23, 2013

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Enough, Donna...it’s time for a lighter shade of wail

I WISH Donna Gee would "lighten" up.

Last year her gripe was about people who complained about loud music in a local bar, referring to them as R.Soles. So who is the R.Sole now?

Donna complains about smokers who are legally smoking outside whatever the weather.

Smokers are forbidden to light up in bars, restaurants and all forms of public trans­ port and rightly so.

I agree with her that it might be beneficial to divide terraces into smoking and non­ smoking areas, but Donna would have to have a word with "him upstairs" about wind

direction.

Heaven forbid it blows towards her; maybe she could order up a cloud and transfer her table lock, stock and two non­ smoking barrels up there and blast a fire extinguisher down on us legal smokers.

MARY K BREWER Cuidad Jardin Donna replies: What my complaint about the R Soul of El Raso (note spelling) has to do with this I have no idea.

That person is no longer amongst us ­

q

unlike the disgusting smoke that is trum­ peted triumphantly as an absolute right by those who generate it.

The reality is that smokers in general are incredibly selfish. They wouldn’t dream of asking those sitting around them if they objected before lighting up.

And perish the thought that a smoker would move elsewhere rather than expose non­smokers to their cancerous fumes.

Instead, the smoker just blows his or her poison over everyone within range and if you don’t like it, then take your clean air somewhere else.

DRIVEN OUT!

Torrevieja parking policy costing dear I AM surprised Torrevieja has not realised that charg­ ing for parking in the town centre is one of the key rea­ sons shoppers are going to other areas for their retail needs.

Why should people visit Torrevieja town centre when they can can go to either the Habaneras or Zenia Boulevard Shopping Centre where there is ample free parking?

Even in the off­peak months there is a decided lack of free parking in the centre of Torrevieja with all the roadside parking spaces constantly occupied.

Beautifully reformed streets are clogged year round with parked cars that hog their space all day long deterring shoppers who only want to park for a couple of hours.

Many shoppers will spend consid­ erable time hunting for a free park­ ing slot before reluctantly spending money on a car park. The result is that the next time they visit the

stores they head for a large shop­ ping centre with free parking!

Compared with other holiday des­ tinations along the southern Costa Blanca Torrevieja has not invested in free, landscaped, attractive car parks for the scores of people visit­ ing the beach. Take for example Mil Palmeras and Torre de la Horadada where the council has provided good quality, free car parks so that beachgoers can access the beach­ es without totally blocking the resi­ dential areas.

When I drive around Torrevieja I think of all the undeveloped areas that could be converted into land­ scaped, attractive free parking areas.

Until Torrevieja changes its policy on parking the town centre will con­ tinue to lose shoppers, streets will be continue to have kerb to kerb parked cars and visitors will go to locations where parking is free and easy.

JAN HOLDEN, Torrevieja

I AM surprised that there has been vir­ tually nothing writ­ ten about Ali Campbell and UB40.

I attended the concert at the Eras de Sal in Torrevieja on Thursday August 8 with high expecta­ tions but what a disappointment this whole event was.

The warm­up act was simply awful, to pay high prices for tick­ ets and have an individual singing to pre recorded backing tracks is totally unacceptable. At a live concert you expect all music to be live!

Ali Campbell and UB40 arrived late, finally making it onto the stage at 10.40 and leaving initial­ ly after an hour.

Then a short encore finally delivered the group’s most famous song, Red Red Wine, not in the main part of the concert but as an encore!

An over­priced concert that failed to deliver both musically or value for money. This event would have failed to impress even if it been given as a free concert during a village fiesta.

IRENE SHEPHERD (Holidaymaker, Los Montesinos)

A matter of wife and debt...

BECAUSE Easyjet don’t go to Stansted any more I was left to book my wife a flight back home with Ryanair.

No problem. The prices were OK for this time of year.

Anyway, two days before she was due to return she had a family emergency. I told her not to worry ­ I will phone Ryanair and get the flight changed. (Yeah, right).

I phoned the customer serv­ ice number in Ireland and was informed that this phone call

would cost me 10 pence per minute.

Not only that; I was placed in a queue so I knew the pennies were mounting up.

After 10 minutes I was

answered by a foreign person.

OK, so now I think, OK this should be easy enough.

Wrong! They informed me that because she had already checked in online the flight

could not be changed.

I explained to her that the online check­ in was done two weeks ago when she left for England. I was then told that that is their policy.

How can you pre­ dict future events? In the end, after a bit of a rant, I had to book another flight for her to come home.

And guess what? The price to get her home was double the price of the original flights. Not happy.

MISTER ANGRY Santa Pola

The Courier does not necessarily agree with the views expressed on this Page

Why bars must have smoke-free zones in the open I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with Donna Gee in last week’s Courier about the selfish smokers.

I always thought sitting outside in the summer was a healthy thing to do but not with all this second­hand smoke around.

Can we please have a smoke­free area in bars so we can also enjoy the evening without choking.

It’s too hot inside in the summer and in the winter we can’t get inside as the smok­ ers get there first and just go out in the intervals where we are then subjected to it as we couldn’t get a seat inside.

We just can’t win.

If we do get a smoke free area let’s put Donna’s mantra up about residue of beer against smoke.

MARIAN DONOVAN, El Raso

P.S. Thanks also to Donna for the article about me meet­ ing Cliff Richard (above).

The article had a mention when Cliff was interviewed in Portugal on radio last Sunday. He mentioned it and said he’d be reading it.

DON’T FORGET, WE NEED YOUR DETAILS Letters and emails will only be considered for publication if an address and contact number are provided to confirm authenticity

7

Friday, August 23, 2013

BECKHAM’S TATTOOS GIVE ME THE NEEDLE

I DESPAIR of the mentality that inspired David Beckham to have his body mutilated. Not once, but dozens of times.

And by a legalised sadist to boot.

At the last count Becks had nearly 20 tat­ toos carved into English football’s most famous epidermis.

His bizarre mindset seems to have sparked an entire generation of young men to follow the example of their No.1 role model. So much so that uninked male tor­ sos are as rare these days as teenage girls who don’t reek of smoke.

In Beckham’s case there is a degree of confusion because he doesn’t seem to know what religion he is.

When his maternal grandfather Joe West died, for instance, Becks had a tattoo of Christ daubed on the side of his body as a tribute. The problem is that Joe was Jewish...

Even more bizarre was our David’s observation on the birth of his first son that ‘‘I definitely want Brooklyn to be Christened but I’m not sure into which religion yet.’’

How about Islam or Shinto? Hey, you and Posh could even try Christianity if all else fails.

Role models are everything to impres­ sionable youngsters, which is why compar­ atively few males under 40 choose to pol­ lute their lungs with nicotine. Girls are far more likely to smoke because they forever see the matchstick models they idolise with fags jammed between their lips. Ugh! If there’s one thing that really needles me, it’s youngsters throwing themselves at tat­ tooists, body piercers and other skin

SIGNIFICANT: My granddaughter’s tat­ too commemorates the loss of her five­ year­old half sister

defilers. I don’t see the point – and it hurts too. No pain, no gain, they used to say. Now it’s more a case of no pain no brain, eh Becks?

Today’s tattooed teens don’t seem to care that they are scarred for life, or that the mark­ ings will fade and the ink eventually run. In other words, Beckham and several of his Old Trafford teammates will ultimately regret they ever set foot in Louis Milloy’s Middleton par­

Ring in teenage rebel’s nose came as a shock.

No bull, she was a cow...

WHEN my rebellious teenage daughter arrived home one night with a ring in her nose, I thought about taking her to the cat­ tle market the following day. No bull.

Like many of her ilk, she was being a real cow at the time, but back in 1987, body piercings were not the norm. Particularly in middle­class homes where anything other than the tra­ ditional earlobe job was akin to ordering a stake in the heart.

Our Hayley identified as a punk, sang in an alterna­ tive band that sounded like Martian radio interference ­ and regarded her parents as the world’s ultimate bores.

But when I saw that nose ring I became the ultimate boar…and a wild one at that.

Strangely enough, Hayley actually grew up a year or two later and is now the world’s best mother to her three kids.

But first the wild boar had to endure a pig of a period during which Hayley moved into a hovel with her pop musician

boyfriend. They later mar­ ried but split up when baby Rosie was still in nappies.

Hayley and Rex have long since remarried and are now upstanding citi­ zens of British society.

The boar hole has long since gone from Hayley’s nose and the only place you’ll see rings today is on her fingers.

However, Rosie is game for the less audacious ele­ ments of body decoration and has been known to wear what one might describe as a nostril adorn­ ment.

But when it comes to teenagers shocking their parents, rings ain’t what they used to be. And thank goodness for that.

lour.

It’s not as if Beckham’s embellishments are variations on a theme. He has all sorts of weird symbols tattooed in all sorts of weird places. And for reasons which are some­ times difficult to understand.

Becks has been exposing his body to tat­ tooists like Milloy since his early days at United. Louis has needled more United players than any Man City or Liverpool play­ er ever did ­ and actually fell out with Beckham over the marketing of that hideous dagger on the back of his neck.

The former England captain has a lot to answer for because I am convinced his antics sparked most of the ‘copycat’ tattoos out there today.

I understand completely why my grand­ daughter Rosie, at the age of 18, had a ruby and a butterfly tattooed on her back. It fol­ lowed the loss of her five­year­old half­sister Ruby from a brain tumour.

But I fail to see the logic of covering one’s entire body with random patterns just for kicks. Likewise the obsession with body piercings (see my second article below).

In my youth (yes, I was young once), tat­ toos were very much linked with the military – particularly the Navy. But just look at the arms and bodies of tattooed exservicemen today. Most are just a blurred mass of blue ink under the skin.

One former SAS man, now in his 80s, told me: “Everyone was doing it at the time. I had some done in the Far East and to this day I’m not sure what they are meant to repre­ sent. Not that anyone can see them properly anyway.’’

My neighbour Dave, a retired Glasgow bus driver, has just one tattoo – on his right forearm.

“I had it done when I was working in the building trade in Essex at the age of 16,’’ he recalls. “I was drunk at the time. Why I had it done I’ll never know – it was the stupidest thing I ever did.’’

Not half as stupid as the people with self­ administered tattoos on the backs of their hands. You know, the ‘Love’ and ‘Hate’ mon­ strosities carved into their fingers with a pen nib or something equally dangerous.

I suspect most of these unfortunates got the letters mixed up and couldn’t make ’Brain’ and ‘Dead’ fit properly.

Now for the revelation. At the tender age of sixty plenty, I’ve just committed myself to joining the tattoo club myself next May as part of a family bet.

In the words of the old Disney song Zip­a­ Dee­Doo­Dah, I’ve agreed to have Mr Bluebird on my shoulder if Cardiff City finish in the Premier League top ten.

It will make a change from the chip I’ve been carry­ ing on both shoul­ ders since my beloved Bluebirds lost their place in English football’s top flight 51 years ago.

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Friday, August 23, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

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10

Friday, August 23, 2013

MALICE IN BLUNDERLAND I went out to cut the grass the other day but couldn't find my lawnmower any­ where. To my dismay it dawned on me that I must have left it too close to the builders skip which had long since departed with my previously­hoarded rubbish (including, would you believe, a car tyre repair receipt from 1983).

Never mind, I thought. The mower was clapped­out, knackered and generally unfit for purpose. When I told Mrs S that I had inadvertently dumped the machine, she observed that if being run­ down and useless were the criteria for chucking stuff away, perhaps I should have jumped into the skip, too.

That lady has an indelicate tongue.

But there is no getting away from it, I am definitely feeling my age. For instance, Mrs S accused me of never knowing what day it is. She said this only last Tuesday ­­ or it could have been Monday. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is . . . heck, I've forgotten.

But whatever it is that I cannot remember, it is not the first time it has happened or, to be more accurate, has not happened. Indeed, I was already forgetting stuff when I was a little lad. Here's a for­ instance:­ Did I ever tell you that I wanted to be an actor? After measles and mumps, the act­ ing bug hit me quite young.

I first trod the boards when I was five. But those were the floor­ boards at my house and were of necessity after the shop repossessed our hall carpet. If only Dad hadn't bet all the hire purchase repay­ ment money on horses which were content to race at a gen­ tle canter!

The first time I actually stepped onto a stage was when I was nine. I was awarded the role of the Queen of Hearts' cook in our primary school production of Alice in Wonderland. And the play was going to be presented in

a proper hall with a cur­ tain and scenery and everything!

Maybe I found it all too overwhelming because that is where m y

memory­lapse flaw enters the story. I had all of three words to say in the play and I can remember my solitary line to this day.

Unfortunately, I couldn't for the life of me recall it at the time I was supposed to say it.

There is not a lot worse that can hap­ pen to an actor than to forget his line(s).

Three lousy words I had but my mind turned to mush.

'It was all those people out there staring at me,' I com­ plained to my teacher (and the play's director) after I was hauled, dry­mouthed and shaking with nerves, off the stage.

The teacher pointed out: 'Those people out there, David, are what we in ama­ teur dramatics call an audi­ ence. And the general idea is that they DO look at the actors.'

In that case, I thought, I'll give it another go. So I clam­ bered resolutely back on stage in my little pinny and large chef's hat. The line I had mucked up in my other­ wise non­speaking part as the crotchety and cantanker­ ous cook was: 'I will NOT!' The words were supposed to have been delivered in response to a royal command to bake a tray or two of tarts.

And to underline the contrary nature of my character, I then had to hurl a collection of pots and pans across the stage like a junior version of Robert de Niro throwing punches in Raging Bull (Just call me Raging Calf). Maybe I

was going to enjoy this acting lark after all.

In our final rehearsal, my teacher had pointed to a spot in the wings. 'Aim the pots and pans over there, David.

Standing nearby and poised to retrieve them will be Eric (the solitary stagehand, my best friend and future den­ tist). But don't be too enthusi­ astic and get your aim wrong or you'll render young Eric unconscious.'

'Gotya, miss!' I shouted as my young heart raced and the adrenalin coursed through my veins.

Well, what can I tell you?

The play turned out to be a huge success. The audience of pupils' families rose as one and cheered our exhausted but elated band of players.

Even our hard­to­please headmistress yelled 'Bravo!' and handed out congratulato­ ry dolly mixtures to the cast and crew.

What an afternoon! I was so drained of energy that I went straight to bed when I got home but did manage to wake up in time to visit Eric in the hospital.

11

Friday, August 23, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 85 This week we are continuing with object pronouns, that is the me, you, him, her, etc. group of words.I hope you have remembered some of last week´s lesson and are ready to continue.

We left off last last week talking about whether the object pro­ noun was direct or indirect, however when it is not clear who or what the pronoun is referring to, a + subject pronoun/noun can be added and the object pronoun remains: Le voy a dar agua a ella – I am going to give water to her, Le voy a dar agua a la niña – I am going to give water to the girl (or give the girl water) This ´double use´ of the object pronoun and a + pronoun/noun in the same sentence is necessary when the pronoun is the indirect object. When the pronoun is the direct object double use occurs as well, but the preposition a can only be followed by a pronoun, never by a noun. This is appli­ cable to all object pronouns: Le tengo que decir a Antonio que.... I have to tell Anthony that..., Te voy a dar esto a ti – I´m going to give this to you In sentences where the direct object is represented by an object pronoun, third­person pronouns acting as indirect objects are replaced by the reflexive pronoun se: Se lo voy a dar ( a ellos ) – I am going to give it to them This is applicable also to other grammatical persons: Ella me lo va a prestar – she is going to lend it to me.

Third person pronouns cannot appear together to represent the direct and indirect objects, in such cases the indirect object is always se which is always said first, for example in the sentence I explained it to them it is the indirect object and them is the direct object, therefore them is translated as se, and the pronoun it will be translated as lo or la depending on the gender of the word represented by it. With se the pro­ nouns le and les cannot be used:

Juan se lo va a traer ( a él) – Juan is going to bring it (to him), Yo se los tengo que volver (a ellos) – I have to return them to them How the sentence is used usually makes it clear who se refers to, if not, a clause with a + noun/pronoun is added, e.g. yo se lo he dado a tu hermano – I have given it to your bro­ ther Gerunds (ing endings) and infinitives can be followed by a direct and indirect object pronoun (without a space): yo voy a dártelos – I am going to give them to you, tienes que dár­ selo – you have to give it to him/her/them

If you remember the verbs which relate to liking or loving things we use me, te etc. before the pronoun we can use a + noun/pronoun e.g. a mí me encanta levantarme tempra­ no – I love getting up early, A José no le gusta la cerveza – José doesn´t like beer.

With these verbs only le and les can be used, never any of the others.

Don´t forget that a lot of the time the subject pronoun is not mentioned, because in Spanish the verb endings tell us who is doing the action it is not always necessary to mention the pronoun, for example if I say, what time do the shops open?

In English we have to say they open at nine o´clock, where­

as in Spanish if you say ¿A qué hora abren las tiendas? It is normal to just reply Abren a las nueve.

The subject pronoun as we know is usually only mentioned when we want to stress the person/thing that we are talking about, for example if you say, she is very busy (ella está muy ocupada) you would say in English yes, she is, where­ as in Spanish you leave out she and say sí, está. But if you were talking about two women and pointed to one and said “she is very busy” then pointed to the other and said “but she is lazy”, you would use the pronouns in Spanish – ella está muy ocupada pero ella es perezosa.

A lot of the previous lessons have been revision, just to remind you of when and how to use various Spanish words and also to try and get you to learn a bit more about gram­ mar.

In order to be fluent enough to have a conversation there will be certain things you will benefit from learning, and these are things we have covered, such as what is a noun, a verb or adjective. There is only benefits to learning these grammati­ cal terms and what they refer to and it will help no end your learning of Spanish.

Keep enjoying this fantastic summer we are having and make the most of your Spanish whenever you get the chan­ ce. I read a comment on the Expats in Spain site on facebo­ ok I referred to in my other column and it stated that a dad was a bit wary to chat to to other parents at his childs school but that he really wanted to practise and improve his grasp of the language and make new friends, this is hard to do and I understand that, especially if you´re not confident with the language, but my advice to him is the same to you, go out there and talk, the chances are the Spanish will be only too willing to help you, and if they laugh at you either laugh along or walk away, there´s nothing lost by having a go, only by not trying in the first place. ¡Que tengas una buena semana!

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Friday, August 23, 2013

ANT AND DEC HIT IT OFF WITH MY DOGS

While working in Torrevieja a couple of weeks ago, my friend Else Tue Andersen, showed me a couple of kittens who had been abandoned on some derelict ground. There were four originally, but now only two remained. They were very friendly, so I instantly knew they were nor feral kittens. So here we were looking at two tiny brothers with nowhere to go.

Their eyes were dirty, along with their noses and they were tiny. I decided to take them both home with me and get them

ANT AND DEC PLAY WITH LOLA AND LIMA

seen by my Vet, Cristina. They were given flea treatment and worming tablets, along with antibiotics to clear up their little eyes. They are now doing absolutely fine and they get along very well with all other kittens, cats and dogs of any size.

They have been followed around by Billy and Lola, my two German Shepherds, who have been keeping them spotless.

We are blessed that we have our own group of dogs and cats in our lives, as they do a lot of valued work to help the aban­ doned animals that we help on a regular basis. We are now looking for a permanent home for the two kittens, who we have named Ant & Dec. They love cuddles and are superb at playing football. Give them a little ball and away they go! They are both now around eight weeks old and we would like them to be re­homed together if possible. They are very attached to one another and cuddle up to sleep with each other every night.

We are based in Pinoso, Alicante and if you would like to offer them a FOREVER home, please email me at peter@thedogyouneed.com. They are looking for very responsible owners, who will take care of them for the rest of their lives.

I am available for consultations throughout the Costa Blanca region, if you are having problems with your furry best friend. To book a consultation you can email me at peter@the­ dogyouneed.com and I will contact you straight

away.

We have also set up an animal charity, where we help the most severely abused and injured animals in Spain. Our offi­ cial charity reference number is EW01514. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@thedogy­ ouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

Even one euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

ANT AND DEC WHO NEED A HOME

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? New home needed for Alsatian / Husky cross.

Female.

Simba is Simba 7 years old and a wonderful dog. She is loving and good natured but also a good guard dog. We have to part with her eventually due to moving home. Simba was born in the campo and lives outside. Everything she needs will be given with the dog to her new owners. All inoculations, papers etc. are up to date. Ring Dave & Ann on 966789571 or 617069064.

Milly, Molly and Monty arrived last week. Usual story, found in a box, by a bin. They were very thin and covered with ticks and fleas. The flea infestation was so bad in areas on two of the pup they now have bald patches. They are about 11 weeks old and running round the kennels, just waiting to go to their new home, can you help us?

610188349

Cassie is just under a year old, she is a very clever, Collie type dog and has lear­ ned to sit and walk on a lead very quickly. She has a lovely nature and loves peo­ ple. She has had all her injections etc and is looking for a new forever home. Please ring 616655789 for more infor­ mation www.catsndogsaid.com

Cassie

Jack was found under a rub­ bish bin he is about 1 year old, he loves affection, he loves being picked up and cuddled and in return will snuggle up very close to the person who is holding him.

Jack is good with children and other dogs and because of his size needs only a small space to live.

Please PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

ROSE was tied to the shut­ ter of and unused building for over two hours when she was only 8 weeks old. She is a sweet little pup who is now fully vaccinated and micro chipped and would love a family of her own to love and have the life she deserves. 966 710 047

Rusty born approx Jan 2011 is a medium sized boy, he was found wandering in a very bad state, he is a lovely dog he likes everyone, dogs and even cats too. For more info please call the PEPA help desk on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcha­ rity@gmail.com

German shepherd Bitch ‘Rihanna’ around 5 years old.She is loving, friendly and playful. Gets on with other pets and people.

She is a rescue dog and we have been fostering her until she was ready to rehome.

Rihanna has a passport and microchip.

If you can offer her a loving home please call 965 960 658

Jack

Rose

Rusty

Rihanna

Friday, August 23, 2013

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LÍNEA DIRECTA ADVISES YOU HOW TO ACT IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT Línea Directa Insurance advises you of the steps to follow in case of a road accident in Spain.

1.

Call the emergency number: 112. They will co­ordinate the procedure and will ask you in detail about the circumstances of the accident.

Call 966 921 003 NOW!

2.

Remain calm at all times. Switch on the emergency lights and if the state of the vehicle permits, remove the vehicle from the road, in order to avoid delays and further accidents, to the extent possible.

3.

Signal the accident location. Before stepping out of the car, put on your high­visibility jacket, which is compulsory, and place the emergency triangles correctly. The first must be placed about 50 metres behind the car in the direction of the traffic, and the second about 100m.

4.

If someone is seriously injured, never try to move them, except if in danger of fire or imminent explosion. Cover the injured per­ son, keep them calm and wait for the emergency services to arrive.

5.

If the circumstances of the location allow, always fill in the European accident report, which is an essential document for speed­ ing up the procedures and handling between the insurance companies.

If you have any doubt about how to do this, don’t hesitate to call your insurance company.

For more information, Call 902 123 104

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Friday, August 23, 2013

GIVE ME SPAIN ANYDAY Last Monday was the day my girls went back to the UK and I made the trip there and back in one day!

We left in the morning and once we´d arrived, I had a few hours to kill in Manchester and so I popped into the centre and did some shopping. To be honest I was a bit disappoint­ ed that I wasn´t able to get everything I had planned to buy, but I did get a few bits and pieces. However there were two things that did stand out to me as we arrived and even when I was on the plane.

The first was how tall everyone seemed to be! As I was on the plane, any time I got up it seemed that I was being towered over by both men and women. I know Spanish people are naturally quite a short race, and there are times here when I feel like a giant: all 5´ 4” of me! But the feeling that I got in the UK was one of a dwarf, and that is no exaggeration nor is it meant to be in any way demeaning to real dwarves. I don´t remember feeling quite as short when I lived in London, although, being a police officer I had a lot of tall colleagues and my height was always a source of fun, but I never felt quite as little as I did on Monday. Maybe that´s because I am used to feeling quite tall now in Spain, that the difference was so marked, Everywhere I went, whether it was in a queue for a shop or walking around I felt very insignifi­ cant.

The other thing I noticed was the weather! I had gone in shorts and a thin strappy top. I had taken a little sleeveless cardigan but I really expected the weather to be as predicted

on a weather website, in the early 20´s. However as I stepped out of the airport I felt it! The chill that said it was more like 15 degrees and not getting any warmer! Once my daughters had been picked up at the airport, I walked as quickly as I could to the train station and sat down, mainly so no one could see how short I was! Then I quickly made a brisk walk to the shopping centre, and I realised why so many people in the UK have a cold! The weather outside was fresh but inside the shopping centre it was so warm I had to take my little cardigan off. The change from cold to hot to cold again can´t be good for the body! Everyone was walking around with at least long sleeves and trousers and I felt a bit

out of place in my Spain wear, at least I have the tan to almost carry it off!

Every time I go back to Britain, it reminds me why I would never want to return to live there again. Normally the shops offer me a saving grace from the weather but this time even they let me down. I love my girls very much and would love for them to come and live with me in Spain. However I know they are happy and set­ tled where they are and I am content with visits here and there. I also know that if I lived in the UK, it would not be in Manchester but a lot fur­ ther south and so I would not get to see the girls very much anyway. At least now when they come to visit me they have a pool, a nice beach and plenty of things to do. I believe the UK offers very little in the way of a social life for anyone, but especially children and young peo­ ple.

I love Spain and have made it my home and the last eight years has seen friends come and go. I´ve had my son and gone through a disas­ trous relationship, but finally I have made some very close friends. My son is growing into a well­ adjusted, happy boy with a dream life, whilst I’m aiming to start my own business and am looking forward to a dream future: ­ all things I could never see happening if I had stayed in London. I know that I had a good reliable job there, with good money and a nice house, but there was one big thing missing, and that was enjoyment. Life was full of stress and money worries, even with my work, there was still no money at the end of the month. At least here there is a life, and after my very brief visit last Monday, my faith in Spain is higher than ever!

15

Friday, August 23, 2013

ARISE LORD ROONEY OF CROXTETH

Don’t you just get fed up of politicians jumping on the bandwagon of sporting success?

Last month, David Cameron called for Andy both the Tories and Labour.

Murray to be knighted after Let’s hope that Wayne his Wimbledon triumph, and Rooney last weekend Cameron popped up again to suggest that Mo Farah should get the same sort of treatment after his double success at the World Athletics Championships in Moscow.

The fact, as I have written before, that Farah should have been given that honour last year seems to have escaped the Prime Minister ’s attention, as well as the realisation that Farah and M u r r a y ’ s achievements have come in spite of a dreadful dis­ interest in sports fund­ ing from

it?

Hand up if you’ve heard q of the Labour peer, Lord Maurice Glasman? He was

doesn’t score an England hat trick soon, or Cameron will have him elevated to the House of Lords! As it is, I still have that nasty feeling that come the end of the year, an undeserved knighthood is heading in the direction of a certain David Beckham.

The UK seems to love Europe right now, after David Cameron called the European Commission boss, Jose Manual Barroso over the escalating prob­ lems over Gibraltar.

Cameron wants EU observers to be sent to the Gib border to monitor the delays, though what does he think that will achieve? As soon as they arrive, then

q

normal service will be resumed! Barroso danced through the diplomatic niceties over the weekend by calling up Spanish PM, Mariano Rajoy, and you do wonder why it has taken so long for the over­paid man­ darins of Brussels to step in?

I actually believe that the Spanish fishermen have a fair point over Gib putting in artificial reefs that will affect their livelihood. But isn’t it just time for the UK, Spain, and Gibraltar to get round a table, perhaps at the request of the EU, just to cool down all of this nonsense and to actually talk, rather than just behaving like teenagers? If what I believe, that most of this has been engineered to try and overshadow the Barcenas scandal and the court case, then it seems to have failed, as the Spanish press can’t get enough of it, with more revelations that

put the ruling PP in a very poor light.

I can only presume that a lady who left more than half a million pounds in her will to go whoever was the British government, must have been (and let’s be kind here) mentally challenged.

Ex­nurse, Joan Edwards had no involvement in politics, but after her death, a carve up of who would get what between the Tories and the Lib Dems, was rightly stopped a fortnight ago. Her money has now gone to The Treasury, to help bring down The National Debt. You might as well have taken the notes and flushed them down the nearest loo. By the way, were the two parties so desperate to get their hands on the money, that nobody had the good sense to say that this was an unedifying cynical spectacle of greed until Labour blew the whistle on

q

wheeled out to do a piece in the Mail on Sunday, slagging off Ed Miliband, saying that much as he supported him, it was time for him to get off his backside and say what he stood for, with just 20 months before the next election. Lord Prescott called on Miliband to kick out the underperform­ ers in his shadow cabinet and that Labour had failed to put over policies during the summer. It’s said that gov­ ernments lose elections rather than oppositions win­ ning them, but with wide­ spread disenchantment over politics and politicians, Miliband has to fire­up the electorate soon over what kind of Britain we will get if he wins in 2015. If he fails to do that, then the public will just shrug their shoulders, stay away from the polling sta­ tions, and David Cameron will sneak back in, especially with the pledge of an in/out referendum over the EU.

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Friday, August 23, 2013

LUSCIOUS LAMB

SPICY LAMB MEATBALLS IN SHERRY SAUCE Ingredients 1 rounded tea­ spoon each cumin and coriander seeds Good pinch of dried chilli flakes 1­2 garlic cloves, peeled Salt and black pep­ per 30g breadcrumbs 2 tbsp chopped

fresh parsley 500g lamb mince 100g pack thin slices of Serrano ham, diced 2 tbsp olive oil For the sauce: 1 small onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed Good pinch of dried chilli flakes 2 tbsp olive oil 400g can chopped tomatoes 150ml fino sherry 150ml chicken or veg stock 1 bay leaf

Method

1. To make the sauce: Fry the onion, garlic and chilli flakes in the oil for 8­10 minutes, until softened. Add the tomatoes, sherry, stock, bay leaf and seasoning. Simmer gently for 30 mins, until thick­ ened.

2. To make the meatballs: Grind the spices, crush and add the garlic, then tip into a large bowl. Mix in plenty of seasoning and the crumbs, parsley, mince and ham. Shape into 30 balls (about 20g each).

3. Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Add the meat­ balls and cook for 4­5 mins, until browned. Drain on kitchen paper, then add them to the sauce and simmer for 10 mins, until cooked through. Serve in small bowls, garnished with parsley.

LAMB BURGERS WITH GRILLED PEPPERS Ingredients

500g minced lamb 1 small onion, peeled and finely chopped 1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed 2tsp ground cumin 1tsp ground corian­ der Salt and freshly ground black pep­ per 2 red peppers 2 orange peppers 2tbsp olive oil Split and toasted burger buns and rocket leaves, to serve

Method

1. Place the lamb in a food processor with the onion, garlic, cumin, coriander and plenty of salt and freshly ground black pepper. Process for about 1 minute until thoroughly com­ bined.

2. Divide and shape the mince mixture into four flat discs each about 10cm in diameter. Cover and chill in the fridge for at least 30mins.

3. Meanwhile, place the peppers on a foil­lined grill pan and cook under a medium­ hot heat for 10­15mins, turning 3­4 times until the skins are charred and blistered. Place the pep­ pers in a plastic bag and leave until cool enough to handle then peel off the skins, discard the seeds and cut the flesh into strips. Mix with 1tbsp of the olive oil and season lightly.

4. Brush the burgers with the remaining oil and cook on a medium­hot barbecue for 7­8mins on each side until browned and cooked through. Serve in toasted burger buns with rock­ et leaves and topped with the roasted peppers.

17

Friday, August 23, 2013

TANDOORI LAMB SKEWERS Ingredients 350­500g lamb, cubed 2­3tbsps tandoori curry paste 2tbsps yogurt Juice of 1/2 a lemon 1­2 green peppers, deseeded and cut into chunks Lemon wedges, to garnish Fresh mint, to gar­ nish Skewers

1/2tsp salt and plenty of ground black pep­ per 2­3tbsp olive oil 300ml vegetable stock 1tsp plain flour 300ml dry white wine or light red wine

Method

Method

1. Tip the lamb into a freezer bag and add the curry paste, yogurt and lemon juice. Seal the bag, then massage it to coat the lamb in the other ingredients. Leave to marinate for at least 30 mins, or preferably overnight.

2. Thread the meat alternately with green pepper onto skew­ ers. Cook on a griddle pan or under a hot grill at a moderate heat for 10­15 mins, turning them occasionally, until the lamb is cooked to your liking.

3. Serve the kebabs with lemon wedges and mint.

LEG OF LAMB WITH HERB CRUST Ingredients 2kg leg of lamb 300g white bread, crusts removed 1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed 1 small bunch of parsley 3 sprigs each of mint, rosemary and thyme 2tsp Dijon mustard

1. Heat the oven to 190°C/170°C Fan/Gas Mark 5. Weigh the meat and calculate the roasting time allowing 25mins per 500g plus 25 minutes for medium cooked lamb, 30 mins per 500g plus 30 mins for well done meat. Place the lamb in a roasting tin and roast for 1hr of the calculated cooking time.

2. Meanwhile, place the bread and garlic in a food processor.

Remove the stalks from the parsley and add to the food processor. Pull the leaves off the mint, rosemary and thyme and add to the food processor with the mustard.

3. Whiz until it is all finely chopped then add plenty of sea­ soning and enough oil to make the breadcrumbs stick well together. Remove the lamb from the oven then pat the bread­ crumb mixture all over the lamb. Return to the oven and con­ tinue cooking for the remainder of the time.

4. Remove the lamb from the oven and lift it onto a serving plate, then cover tightly with a sheet of foil. Leave to rest for 15­20 minutes before carving.

5. Meanwhile, make the gravy. Pour away the excess fat from the roasting tin and place the tin with the lamb juices over a medium heat on the hob. Sprinkle with the flour and stir for a few seconds with a wooden spoon.

6. Gradually add the wine and scrape up all of the caramelised juices from the base of the tin. Leave to simmer gently until it has reduced to a well­flavoured gravy, then strain into a gravy boat. Adjust the seasoning, if necessary, and keep hot.

LAMB STEW WITH BLACK OLIVES Ingredients 2tbsp vegetable oil 500g stewing lamb, cubed I onion, peeled and sliced 2 cloves garlic, crushed 2 carrots, sliced 2 courgettes, sliced 1 red pepper, deseeded and sliced 400g can tomatoes 2 sprigs rosemary 2tbsp tomato puree 300ml lamb stock 50g black olives Parsley, to garnish

Method

1. Heat the oil in a large casserole. Fry the lamb until it has browned on all sides. Using a slotted spoon, remove the meat and set aside.

2. Add the onion to the meat juices in the pan and fry for 2­3 mins until tender, add the garlic and fry for 1 min.

3. Return the lamb to the pan and add all the vegetables.

Pour over the tomatoes, add the rosemary sprigs and stir in the tomato puree. Add enough lamb stock to just cover everything then bring to the boil.

4. Cover with a tight fitting lid and turn the heat down to a gentle simmer. Cook for 1­ 11/2 hours until the meat is ten­ der. Add the black olives then taste and adjust seasoning, adding a little sugar to balance the acidity if necessary.

Sprinkle with parsley before serving.

18

Friday, August 23, 2013

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

TIP: David was having problems with gmail suggesting email addresses of people not in his address book Hi Richard, I am fair­ ly new to computing and regularly read your column in the Courier. I have a small but annoying problem that I have spent hours trying to sort out.

I use Google Mail. Recently one of my friends changed his Email address. I deleted his old address from my Contacts List and replaced it with his new one. However when I log on to send a message and type the initial letter of his name, for the list of contacts with that initial is shown ­ both the new and old address pop up. This causes a problem as sometimes without realising it I have sent my message to the old address.

Please could you tell me how to rectify this problem? Thanks and Best Wishes, DAVID RYDER P.S. Thanks for the advice you gave me regarding Email address when I saw you at Moncayo Market on Saturday

Q

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

TIP: Olga recently found out that she would have to pay to keep her BT Internet email address and wondered what she could do.

Hi Richard. Have you heard or seen the latest email from BT where they are saying changes are to be made?? Basically if you don't have BT broad­ band you need to sign up for it otherwise you will lose you BT email address.

Or of you don't have the above you can sign up for BT Premium and pay £ 1.60 per month for the privilege.

I have none of the above can you suggest any FREE email addresses I can use please?

Many thanks, Olga

Q

A

Hi David, if you have properly removed the incorrect address then it should not be being offered by Gmail, they specifically only suggest emails that are in your address book – it might be worth checking that the email address has been fully removed in the first instance. If it has then you should clear your browsers cache (its memory of things its done before), you can do this by resetting Internet Explorer, by doing the following…

1.

Launch Internet Explorer 2.

Click Tools, Internet Options, Advanced 3.

Click “Reset”, check the box to “delete personal settings” and click “reset” I hope that sorts out the problem for you.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

A

Hi Olga, no I hadn’t heard that, but you are right, from September any BTYahoo customers that don’t have BT broadband will be required to pay £1.60 a month to keep their email, full details at the following website address…

http://www.productsandservices.bt.com/consumerProducts/displayTopic.do?t opicId=26508&s_cid=con_FURL_premiummail …so if you don’t want to pay for your email then now is the time to change, I would recommend a Hotmail (Outlook) or Gmail account, you can get them free (for the moment) from the following addresses… www.outlook.com www.gmail.com Hope that helps.

Friday, August 23, 2013

19

20

Friday, August 23, 2013

THE TOP 10 ESSENTIAL OILS Lavender

Essential oils contain high doses of concentrat­ ed plant extracts. They are used in the creation of perfumes, cosmetics, incense, food and drink as well as in aromathera­ py. Certain oils affect the sinuses, which in turn may have healing effects on the body.

Stock up your bath­ room cabinets with these top ten essential oils, each of which has its own healing properties:

Lavender is com­ monly used in the preparation of per­ fume. In aromather­ apy, lavender oil is used to aid in relax­ ation.

When breathed in as a vapour, lavender has been known to relieve tension headaches, coughs and respiratory infections.

Eucalyptus

Jasmine

Jasmine is a common garden plant that is gen­ erally white or yellow in colour. The jasmine scent is warm and exotic and it has been shown to assist with depression as well as dry and sensitive skin.

Chamomile

Chamomile has a sweet, fruity and crisp fragrance that is commonly used in aromatherapy as a calming agent. It's great for helping you to deal with stress and aids in sleep.

Rosemary

Rosemary is a woody herb that produces white, pink, pur­ ple or blue flowers. In aromatherapy, rosemary is used to sooth muscles.

Tea Tree Oil

Tea tree oil has a fresh, camphor type fragrance. Tea tree oil is a powerful antiseptic and is also used in the treatment of dandruff. Tea tree oil can be used to treat acne, insect bites, sunburn, bee stings and ear infections.

Sandalwood

Sandalwood is a common essential oil that is used in the preparation of soaps, as it acts as a skin antiseptic.

Eucalyptus has a spicy, camphor type smell, which is often used in flavourings, cosmetics, mouthwashes and even cough syrups. Eucalyptus can be used to help with cold sores, colds, fever and flu.

Peppermint Oil

Peppermint is fragrant and inviting and may be used to assist with mental fatigue, headaches and sinusitis. It's also been shown to assist with vertigo and asthma. It's often used to flavour food such as gym, confectionary, chewing gum and ice cream.

Cedarwood

Cedarwood is a rich, woody scent that may be used in the treatment of acne, arthritis, coughing and stress.

Ylang Ylang

Ylang ylang has a fresh, floral fragrance that may be used to assist with palpitations, stress and hypertension.

PLEASE NOTE: Certain essential oils can be toxic when taken orally. Before attempting to use any of the oils mentioned, please ensure you have obtained informa­ tion from a qualified aromatherapy practitioner.

UNNECESSARY AND HARMFUL MEDICAL TESTS DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Medical tests play a vital role in mod­ ern healthcare and when used correct­ ly, can provide doctors with a fairly accurate picture of a patient’s state of health. Visit any hospital today, and you’ll observe hundreds of different medical tests and screenings in use, but have you ever wondered if these tests are helpful at all? Researchers recently suggested that upwards of 130 recommended medical tests or proce­ dures may be unnecessary and even harmful to patients. In a way allopathic medicine sees you as a composite of separate parts rather than as a whole being. And so there are specialists to treat different areas of your body, even though there are no clear partitions between the organs and systems of the body. Your GP will refer you to a gas­ troenterologist when you complain of problems with your guts. But if you realise that the stomach has more nerve fibres than the spinal cord, you may wonder why you weren’t referred to a neurologist. Or perhaps a shrink, since 95% of the brain chemical –sero­ tonin is found in the stomach or intes­ tines. Because modern medicine does not appreciate the holistic nature of the human body, but rather views it in com­

Negative Calorie Foods Can Help You Lose Weight

partments, it has devised many tests for the numerous specialties of the body it has created. And many of these tests are useless. Point in case is the PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) – a test most men believe will save them from prostate cancer. But in a recent interview, the inventor of the PSA test, Prof Albin described it as a ‘profit ori­ ented public health disaster’. According to him, the PSA test was never designed to screen for prostate cancer, but to monitor recovery in men with prostate cancer. A high PSA reading can be caused by factors other than prostate cancer such as prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate), infec­ tions of the prostate gland, an enlarged prostate, sexual intercourse or even a bike ride before the test. Doctors will recommend a biopsy to rule out prostate cancer if a high reading is detected. But biopsies are excruciat­ ingly painful, and are now believed to spread already existing prostate can­ cers. The advice with a high PSA read­ ing is to wait and redo the test after several months, and to take action after several consecutive rising read­ ings. If PSA screens are a public health nightmare for men, mammo­

grams are the equivalent for women.

Mammograms screen for breast can­ cer by exposing the sensitive breast tissue to deadly X­rays. Not surprising­ ly, this painful procedure has now been linked to breast cancer­ the very dis­ ease it’s supposed to prevent. Worse still, mammograms are wrong 8 out of 10 times, and miss out 20% of all breast cancers. A positive mammo­ gram test is usually followed by a biop­ sy, with all its associated risks such as bleeding, infection, not to mention the psychological trauma caused by the process. Thermograpy is a safer way to go because it is safer and even detects breast cancer 10 years earlier than mammograms. Another unhelpful scan is the bone density scan or DEXA (dual energy X­ray absorptiometry). This scan claims to detect osteoporosis by measuring the mineral density of bones – a poor indicator of bone health. The collagen­mineral ratio is a better indica­ tor of bone health. Furthermore, the bone density scan was never properly standardized, and results vary very widely.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL 965071745

Using negative calorie foods to lose weight is a relatively new and controversial idea that has attracted a lot of attention. It may sound impossible, and if you are scep­ tical, a little research will show that the concept behind negative calorie foods is actually very simple and easy to put to use in your weight loss plan.

Negative calorie foods are essentially foods that actually contain less calories than it takes to digest them. For instance, you may eat a piece of fruit that contains 60 calories, but your body uses 75 calories to digest the fruit. You have essentially just burned 15 calories by eat­ ing. Most negative calorie foods are also very rich in vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients that can benefit your health. Eating more of these foods will typically not cause weight gain, but can in fact cause weight loss.

Because of this, when you eat negative calorie foods, you can eat larger portions more often, which can in turn speed up your metabolism. A faster metabolism also influences weight loss.

Examples of negative calorie foods include broccoli, cabbage, watermelon, carrots, tomatoes, spinach, turnips, cucumbers, pineapple, papaya, grapefruit, and cauliflower.

Of course, you shouldn't limit your daily diet to just neg­ ative calorie foods. Your body needs nutrients from other sources as well. Include low­calorie and low­fat meats, dairy products, and grains in your diet. When you eat negative calorie foods, make healthy choices with other foods you eat, and exercise regularly, you will see significant weight loss results.

What Is Beta-Carotene?

Beta­carotene is a phytochemical, found in fruits and vegetables, that is converted in the body into vitamin A. Vitamin A is needed for good vision and eye health, for a strong immune system, and for healthy skin and mucus membranes.

This conversion is a safer way to get your vitamin A, than eating large quantities of vitamin A­rich foods such as liver, or vitamin supplements (which contain ‘pre­ formed’ vitamin A). Pre­formed vitamin A can accumulate in the body to harmful levels, but the body can’t store and accumulate beta­carotene. It’s only converted as you need it, so you can’t overdose.

The worst that could happen to you if you ate too much beta­carotene­rich foods, such as carrots, is that your skin could turn an orangey color! This hue would soon disappear as your diet returned to nor­ mal.

Food sources of beta­carotene include sweet pota­ toes, carrots, kale, spinach, turnip greens, winter squash, collard greens, cilantro and fresh thyme.

21

Friday, August 23, 2013

HOW TO STOMACH THOSE TOXINS

Q

I am 70 years old, and have had abdominal pain all my life. I also have other symptoms such as acid burns, vomiting, diarrhoea, and constipation. I have been told that I don’t have IBS, but have always wondered if this is true. Your opinion will be much appreciated.

A

Most diseases of the digestive system usually originate from what we eat. This may not be from a poor diet, but from sensitivity to certain food types, food ingredients or even chemicals used to preserve food. Wheat is a common food that many people are sensitive to, but are unaware of. Wheat isn’t the harmless grain many believe it to be, but rather a lethal food item that has been linked to a number of chronic and degenerative disorders. Grains such as wheat have always been referred to as poor quality foods because they contain sparse quantities of nutrients. But the wheat we con­ sume today is a hybridized (genetically modified) form of wheat from the 1970s, a plant with far less nutrients and packed with far more toxins than older strains of wheat. People with IBS (Inflammatory bowel disease) or coeliac disease have a heightened sensitivity to gluten – one of the deadly proteins in wheat; however it is believed that many more people may have a milder form of IBS that isn’t serious enough to be recognised as a diagnosis. But wheat is just one likely cause of abdominal problems. Our stomach maintains a delicate bal­ ance between harmful bacteria that can cause all kinds of havoc to the body, and healthy bacteria that keeps the harmful bugs in check. This delicate balance is easily disturbed by what we eat, drink or by the medications we take. Drugs such as antibiotics are unable to discriminate between healthy and harmful bugs, and destroy everything on their path. But it gets even worse than that because harmful bugs stand a better chance of re­colonising the stomach after a course of antibi­

otics, making the symptoms worse the second time around.

Another medication that distorts the gut flora is Omeprazole­ a commonly prescribed drug here in the Costas ­ for protecting the stomach against the adverse effects of other mediations!

Omeprazole works by suppressing the stomach’s ability to produce hydrochloric acid, which is essential for food digestion and also to keep the growth of harmful microbes in check.

Blocking the production of this acid interferes with food diges­ tion and invariably with food absorption, leading to nutrient deficiencies and chronic diseases. Your problem could also be caused by an overload of your detox organs – liver, intestines and gallbladder with toxins such as mercury, lead, and chem­ ical contaminants. These toxins are known to cause the symp­ toms you have mentioned and many others. I’ll recommend that you book a scan with us at MedB clinic for a detailed look at your body. The scan will examine your entire tissues, organs and systems, including a blood test, a check for microbes, and for contaminants and allergens. It is the most detailed scan available anywhere. Call 965071745 to book an appointment.

Q

I have been very forgetful lately. I am finding it diffi­ cult to attach names to faces, and this has got a lot worse since I retired to Spain. Last week I went shopping and for a brief moment, I forgot where I had parked my car. I am 74 years old, and other than my memory prob­ lems, I am in good health. I’ll be happy to know how I can resolve my memory issues.

A

Our memory starts to decline with increasing age. What’s important is to make a distinction between the normal process of memory decline, and dementia. When memory loss starts to interfere with everyday living, it may be a reason to suspect dementia – a more serious disorder of the mental

faculties. If you are finding it difficult to put a name to a face, or you forget briefly where you parked your car, this may not be an issue, unless you think these episodes are now interfering with your day to day living or you’ve noticed a rapid decline in memory. Memory loss can be caused by a number of factors – Vitamin B deficiencies, mini strokes in the brain, as well as a number of medications. You should visit your doctor to rule out these as possible causes of your problem. You should also have a complete health check to confirm that imbalances with your blood sugar and electrolytes are also not contributing to your problem. Even with a healthy blood sugar level, it is still possible to have abnormal brain sugar metabolism. Some researchers believe that dementia and even Alzheimer’s is caused by a deficiency of insulin in the brain, making it unable to use glucose for energy production. Coconut oil is now seen as a perfect solution to the problem because it contains medi­ um chain triglycerides (MCT), which can enter the brain direct­ ly and used as a source of energy. Research is still on­going in this area, however for anyone worried about Alzheimer’s or memory loss the prescribed dose of coconut oil is 2 table­ spoons in the morning and evening. Acetyl­L­Carnitine is also an effective nutrient for stimulating the brain, because it is a source of nutrient for it. An effect is usually noticeable within a couple of hours of taking the supplement. Acetyl­L­ Carnitine seems to sharpen the mind and focus attention, and also maintains the health of the heart. Acetyl­L­Carnitine is avail­ able from MedB Health Stores. Call 965071745. Delivery is free.

PLEASE SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO contact@medb.es or to the editor of the courier.

:

Tooth Whitening A 2 Z

There are so many quotes surrounding smiles. Some of the more common ones include "if you smile at someone, they might smile back" and "everyone smiles in the same language" — but if your smile is stained and yellow, you may not want to put on your happy face.

In our high pressure society, where appearance and look­ ing good is everything, cosmetic dentistry and tooth whiten­ ing is an emerging market. A sparkling smile makes a huge difference to your appearance, but can also influence your quality of life. If your teeth are stained and yellow, you may not feel comfortable smiling and limit yourself from living life.

The phenomenon of tooth whitening has become big busi­ ness. Not just for celebs in Hollywood, but for everyone who cares about their appearance. Very few people have natural­ ly brilliant white teeth, and even if they have, it is common for teeth to lose their 'whiteness' as we get older. Food and drink, specifically red wine, coffee and tea, as well as ciga­ rette smoking, all contribute to discoloured teeth. Teeth can also lose their brightness due to under the surface staining, which may be caused by cracks in the teeth as well as cer­ tain antibiotics.

There are various ways you can go about whitening your teeth. It can be done professionally by your dentist or via one of the home whitening systems or kits. The option you ulti­ mately choose depends on your budget and the degree of staining on your teeth.

Professional Tooth Whitening

While this process is very expensive, the costs may seem minimal when your smile is putting a hamper on your quality of life. The professional system takes about one hour and is generally done at your dentist's office.

tem has been shown to get results, cases of whitened gums and irritation have occurred, making it risky business.

If you do decide to go with this type of whitening system, consult with your dentist on his or her recommendations before you make a purchase.

Prevention Is Better Than Cure

The nice thing about this system is that you are putting your smile in the hands of a qualified professional, who knows teeth. The process at your dentist begins with a minor polish to remove any plaque that may be sitting on the gum line and is followed by the application of a peroxide based gel. This gel is then activated using a special light.

It is important to note that tooth whitening may not be suc­ cessful after the first application, and may only start to show effect after a few applications. Consulting with your dentist will help you identify if this process is right for you.

Whitening Toothpastes and Gels

Many toothpaste companies, including Mentadent P and Colgate have formulated special toothpastes that help to whiten teeth. Some toothpaste companies may only spe­ cialise in whitening toothpastes. These toothpastes may be effective for you, but the outcome depends on the type of staining on your teeth as well as the degree of the stains.

Toothpastes with "whitening" properties rely on abrasion in order to remove the stains, and may be effective for minor discoloured surface stains. If your teeth are very yellow, this treatment many not be effective for you.

Over-the-Counter Bleaching Kits

If you can't afford to go to a professional dentist, consider an over the counter bleaching treatment. Although this sys­

Taking care of your teeth is vital if you want a bright smile.

And there are numerous things you can do in your daily life that will aid in the prevention of further discolouring your teeth.

• Brush your teeth at least twice a day using a whitening toothpaste. The best times to brush are after you've had breakfast in the morning and just before you go to bed.

• Avoid drinking too much tea, coffee and red wine when­ ever possible. These drinks only add to the discolouration of your teeth.

• Quit smoking. It's not only hazardous to your health and those around you, but to your teeth as well.

• Don't forget to floss. Flossing helps to remove plaque build­up between the teeth and can also help to prevent under the surface stains. Flossing also helps to prevent decay between the teeth — a common place for it to form.

Night Eating Syndrome This is a seri­ ous disorder, a result of upsets in hor­ mones that r e g u l a t e sleep, hunger and stress.

People with night eating syndrome usually have no desire to eat until the afternoon, then eat most of their calories during the evening and at night, often waking up for high­calorie snacks.

They need food to help them sleep.

F e e l i n g stressed and depressed is common.

Research suggests it affects 1,5% of all adults and around 10% of obese people. If you think you may have a problem with night­ time eating, get profes­ sional help from your doctor.

22

Friday, August 23, 2013

Tony

23

Friday, August 23, 2013

Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

SLOPPY SPEAK MUST BE STOPPED

Brits are always being crit­ icised for not learning a foreign language, and there are many here in Spain whose knowledge of the local lingo doesn't extend much further than ordering a cup of coffee.

And, it seems the situation is not likely to improve any time soon. The figures from the latest UK A­level results show a continuing fall in youngsters wanting to learn a foreign language. While there is a rise in students studying maths and science ­ probably because they can see good grades in these subjects leading to worth­ while jobs, interest in lan­ guages has shown yet another fall. French and German studies have shown the biggest drop, but those learning Spanish have bucked the trend with a 4% increase this past year.

Could it be that young peo­ ple can see that within anoth­ er decade or two, most peo­ ple will know one of the three main world languages ­ English, Spanish and Chinese, and every other language will become ever more irrelevant? I found it surprising and most welcom­ ing that many universities on the continent use English as their teaching language. Now doesn't that tell you a great deal about where things are going in the near future?

There was also a fall for the second successive year in the number of students gain­ ing the top A grades in the A levels. For countless years there have been allegations that exams and marking has been politically fudged to make it seem that the educa­ tion "industry" was improving its standards, when in reality the opposite was the case.

Employers have long criti­ cised UK schools and col­

leges for not teaching kids the basics ­ with far too many leaving school without the skills needed to get a job ­ a grasp of good English, basic maths, good communication skills and an understanding of the "real" world.

q

I was amazed by an interview with two teenage girls, who were being quizzed on their obsession in following some boy band or other around the country. Every few seconds, the word "like" was uttered by these girls. I had to stop what I was doing and listen to this appalling rubbish coming from their lips. Why is it that teenagers are inserting the word “like” after every three words spo­ ken? Why wasn't it nipped in the bud by teachers? There has been a big increase in "sloppy speak" creeping into the English language, with probably a lot of it of it import­ ed by immigrants as well as Brits sadly picking up bad habits from Americans who have made an abortion of the English language. We don't want to go back to 1940s with plum­in­the­mouth BBC English, but we're slipping into far too many bad habits ­ and TV programmes like Eastenders do nothing to help!

Jobs and education takes me conveniently on to the news that there has been a leap in the number of Bulgarians and Romanians working in Britain.

Immigration from those coun­ tries rose by 26% in just three months with 141,000 in the UK. And it's my guess that once the restrictions in immigration from these two

q

coun­ tries are lifted later this year, there will be a massive increase, despite what officials in the immigra­ tion department think. Why? Because people in those two countries can earn five times as much working in Britain than they can back home.

So, if you were struggling to make ends meet in your country and you know there was already a well­estab­ lished support network of your fellow citizens already in the UK ­ where would you be tempted to go? I can see many thousands of people from Eastern Europe ending up in Britain in the coming months, swelling the popula­ tion which is already at record highs. Thank you EU membership ­ just what Britain needs when a hous­ ing shortage is pushing up prices, as well as strains in the health, education and social services systems, to say nothing about the trans­

on the subject of motoring, I hope you all saw the warning about a new British insur­ ance scam being called flash for cash. It works with a owed. They say failure to do motorist on a major route so is unfair to all the rest of spotting another trying to get the population who are pay­ out of a side road. The first ing tax and the money is driver flashes the other to needed to help finance gov­ come out, and then drives ernment spending and debt. straight into him. Because it's The Treasury said that col­ one person's word against lectively all of those identified another, it's difficult to prove cost the Exchequer some who is to blame and the driv­ £600m in lost tax revenue. All er on the main road obvious­ fair enough ­ but what I find ly flatly denies flashing the totally unacceptable is the other motorist.

Police are advising drivers attitude coming from the “waste of space” Labour to ignore such flashing lights Party. This is what Shadow and not to assume the other Treasury Minister, Catherine motorist is being courteous.

McKinnell said about the More and more often I campaign. She said it was a despair about the way "huge failure" that one year humanity is going. If this con­ on, so many on the most­ tinues we will end up with a wanted list had still not been society where you cannot port and caught. "At a time when fam­ trust anyone. In regard to water, sew­ ilies are facing a cost­of­ that scam, perhaps we erage and power living crisis, it's even more should start to install cam­ sectors. But beyond all important that everyone pays eras inside our vehicles so this, which is bad enough, we their fair share of tax. The we have some hard evidence have 2.7 million people out of government needs to do bet­ against scammers, and per­ haps even police who work and we simply do not ter," she said.

What pathetic nonsense! accuse us of offences where need many more thousands competing for jobs and pre­ These people are in hiding there is considerable doubt? pared to work for far less a somewhere abroad and the One that comes to mind is wage than people already government is doing its best. the new offence of middle­ have in the UK. Employers It is pathetic that the likes of lane hogging on motorways. will love it ­ they will be able Catherine McKinnell in oppo­ There's a big grey area here to employ people for even sition can just mouth off a ­ how long must you travel in less ­ and figures released load of critical crap without the middle lane before it last week showed that one jot of encouragement or becomes an offence. And if Britain's workers have suf­ offering any worthwhile sug­ you are travelling right up to fered a reduction in pay since gestions. the speed limit what is the Just what did Labour do to problem? And what about the recession, which is more than almost every other track down tax evaders when hogging the fast lane? That country in Europe. But they were in office? Precious doesn't seem to be covered. employers say eastern little I'm sure.

I hope it will be directed It's no wonder that even against lorry drivers who take European workers are far more likely to work hard, stay prominent Labour politicians for ever to pass one another, in their jobs and not bunk off are saying they urgently hogging the middle lane for in a fortnight than many need to come up with some miles and causing big tail work­shy British. But it's worthwhile policies or they backs. Once having overtak­ crazy, muddled, short­term are doomed to failure at the en, the lorry driver will pull thinking. If immigration goes next election. It's also no back just in front of the other the way I fear, then by the wonder that their leader gets lorry and the two will contin­ time of the next election vot­ pelted with eggs on a visit to ue in convoy. So what was ers will be lining up to vote try to drum up support. Some the point of the exercise, hope, when they are so total­ except for being b­­­dy UKIP. annoying to motorists?

Hats off to the govern­ ly pathetic!

Do you find some UK It was interesting to read ment for publishing a TV adverts really readers' comments on this most­wanted list of alleged fraudsters and tax evaders, annoying? I certainly do. And subject in the national press. who have cost taxpayers mil­ the ones from car insurance One caught my eye...Hooray! lions of pounds in lost rev­ companies really get my Why not penalise people enue. Sadly, only one of the goat. Loads of them just who do not indicate on 20 named has been caught, keep banging on about how roundabouts, and drive probably because those "we can save you hundreds round the outside of a round­ owing huge sums in unpaid of pounds on your car insur­ about instead of getting in tax have fled the country and ance." Oh yes? To be able to the correct lane? How about are hiding abroad, some of achieve this there must be all drivers who cause an which are here in Spain. The one or two companies with accident having to resit their HM Revenue and Customs sky­high premiums, which is test? Oh no ­ disaster! All the say publicising their black list a nonsense. These adverts delivery drivers would be off is a cost­effective way of col­ repeat every day of the week the road. lecting valuable information and collectively must cost a Back to cameras in cars ­ I as to where these people are small fortune. Ok, TV compa­ believe this is already com­ living and it’s led to useful nies may be kept in business monplace in Russia, where leads on 17 of the people list­ as a result, but it makes me so many caught on camera ed. The government is deter­ wonder how much our premi­ the huge meteor which mined to track down tax ums could be reduced if all recently burst through our evaders and collect what is these adverts stopped. Still atmosphere.

q

q

24

Friday, August 23, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

25

LEO AND LOUIE MAKE NEW FRIENDS Social networking and some helpful Spanish peo­ ple have helped to rescue two abandoned horses who are now being looked after by the Rojales­ based Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre.

Two seven year old horses, Leo and Louie were left to fend for themselves at a Murcia province riding school that had been closed down six months earlier by their British owners. Some local people generously took it upon themselves to try and provide food and water for the two ani­ mals who were rapidly losing weight.

It was through Facebook that a German lady who runs a cat and dog shelter contacted Sue and Rod Weeding at the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre in Rojales, with the news about the hors­ es. They agreed to take the animals into their care and they were brought to the Centre late at night

in a horse trailer by a Spanish man.

“It was fortunate that these two horses were left outside to fend for themselves” said Sue Weeding co­founder of the EHCRC. “If they had been abandoned out of sight, locked away in a disused out building or shed, which is the usual scenario, they may never have been found. It is fantastic that these local Spanish people did their best to save these horses and ask for help using Facebook”.

Louie is partially blind in his left eye due to what was probably a blow and also has several facial scars and a hole through the skin of his right nos­ tril. Leo has damaged tendons normally caused by over work on hard ground. Both horses are being treated for their injuries and are now in safe hands, and are making new friends at the Centre.

Angels wing it again A WARM ROUND

Warm weather plus sponsorship from the Don Mariano restaurant, helped the members of Torregolf.EU to have a great day out at the La Peraleja course at Sucina.

A big turn out on the Seve Ballesteros­ designed course ensured a memorable few hours of golf. Future dates include a visit to

the Font del Llop course at Monforte del Cid next Friday (August 30th), and then the Vistabella course at Entre Naranjos on Saturday September 7th.

For more details on playing golf at some of the area’s best courses, you can call David Winder on 626 774 157 or E­Mail davidwinder.torregolf@gmail.com.

An impressive 850 Euros will be swelling the coffers of Torrevieja’s Reach Out charity and the Leeds Air Ambulance after a big fun day at a bar in San Luis.

It was the 2nd fund­raiser run between the bar and the Blue Angels, who are supporting Reach Out who look after local homeless people and their families. 700 Euros will go to Reach Out who support local homeless

people and their families, with the remainder heading back to the UK and to the Air Ambulance team in Leeds, who provided vital help to Blue Angel, Fat Pat after a seri­ ous accident.

One of the highlights of a busy day was the night­time gig from the popular local rock band, The Faith, with the bar packed to the rafters for a noisy but enjoyable evening.

The great English tradition of Morris Dancing is very much alive and well on the Costa Blanca with Terri Horvath Morris.

The group will start to meet again next month after their summer break at the Campoverde Town Hall every Friday after­ noon between 4pm and 6pm from

It may not feel like it with the hot weather, but some serious pantomime work gets going in a few days’ time!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will be January’s production for the Rojales Pantomime Group, and the first rehearsals will be at Quesada Culture Centre on September 6th.

Tuesday September 3rd at 2.00pm in the New members of all ages, male and Salon. female, are more than welcome and it does­ Barry Cox has penned the follow­up to last n’t matter how much experience of dancing year’s successful Dick Whittington show, you’ve had, if any! and the story will feature all the traditional Heather has more details on 966 197 756 elements of a panto, along with sing­alongs or E­Mail:­ hgingele@hotmail.co.uk.

and dance routines.

If you can sing and fancy joining the cho­ rus, then Barry Cox and Christine Smith would love to hear from you. “Come along and join us! After all, there's no business like snow business and you'll have plenty of fun as well as raising money for local charities”, chirped Barry.

The group will be rehearsing every Tuesday and Friday afternoon from September in Quesada. If you are interest­ ed, then just pop along or E­Mail Barry at bazbov@yahoo.co.uk

Panto warblers wanted

Morris far from minor

26

Friday, August 23, 2013

UK HEADLINES

'LITTLE RASCAL' FIRST OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPHS RELEASED The baby ­ who is third in line to the British throne ­ is pictured with his parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

The pictures were taken by the duchess's father, Michael Middleton, in the garden of their family home in Bucklebury, Berkshire.

Taken earlier this month, they show the royal couple, Prince George and their black cocker spaniel, Lupo.

Tilly, a golden retriever belonging to the Middleton family, can be seen lying down behind them.

The photographs of Prince George, who was born on 22 July, were released by Kensington Palace.

On Monday Prince William, giving his first interview since becoming a father, told CNN: "He's a little bit of a rascal, I'll put it that way.

"He either reminds me of my brother or me when I was younger, I'm not sure ­ but he's doing very well at the moment."

BBC royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell said the new family look "unselfconscious, relaxed and happy ­ much like

most couples might look with their first­born baby".

He added: "Of course they're aware of what's expected of them. There will be staff ­ a nanny ­ to help in due course,

DOUBLE TROUBLE ON RAPE RAP

Mohammed and Aftab Asghar were arrested after forensic evidence taken from the scene linked the alleged crime with one or both of them.

Prosecutors charged both siblings as they were unable to tell which one of them was the alleged sex attack­ er.

The pair, aged 22, were expected to enter pleas when they appeared along­ side each other in the dock at Reading Crown Court, Berks.

But police and the Crown Prosecution Service are still trying to determine whether they should continue to pur­ sue the case against both

men, and prosecutor Sandra Beck requested more time for the Crown to pursue par­ ticular lines of inquiry.

She said: "It is an unusual

case. They are identical twins. The allegation is one of rape.

"There is further work due...It may mean that only

one of the defendants faces trial."

No details were divulged about the circumstances of the alleged offence, which is said to have occurred on November 5, 2011.

Ms Beck confirmed a trial date had already been set for December 2.

The twins, from Reading in Berks, have meanwhile been granted conditional bail.

Identical twins share matching DNA but have dif­ ferent fingerprints, accord­ ing to the Forensic Science Service.

The Asghar case is not the first time this has posed a problem for investigators.

In February, two identical 24­year­old twin brothers were held in Marseille, France, by police hunting a rapist as their genetic codes were so similar that normal DNA tests could not tell them apart.

but for the moment it's all rather informal and many might think, refreshing."

Renowned photographer Terry O'Neill said he thought the pictures were "absolutely charming".

"It reminded me when I first started pho­ tography for myself ­ I just went for the light, and it was really interesting lighting. As a matter of fact when I heard about these pic­ tures, I thought 'Who have they got to do these pictures' ­ and the thought crossed my mind they might have asked the Queen because she's quite a good photographer ­ I thought that would be one up to the paparazzi."

The cultural and education manager of Magnum Photos, Fiona Rogers, told Radio 4's Today programme the photograph of the couple and Prince George with the family's dogs was "technically not the most accom­ plished photograph".

"It's a photograph that any one of us could have in our family albums," she said.

Cat burglar There's a cat burglar on the prowl and the thieving feline wants to get his mucky paws on your undies.

Naughty Norris, two, has clawed in a haul of goodies from neighbours’ gardens, washing lines and even their houses if he can sneak through a cat flap for the purr­fect crime.

Embarrassed owner Richard Windsor, 26, said: “He was well behaved up to the age of one, then he turned to a life of petty crime.

“Over the last four months, he has really started to up his game.

"Initially it was dusters and dish cloths but this has now intensified to clothes, including bras, pants and T­shirts.”

Graphic designer Richard and wife Sophie, of Bedminster, Bristol, have sent letters to neighbours explaining their tabby’s behaviour.

Richard said: “At first we thought it was funny. But as his stash grew and the items got bigger we thought we needed to return them.

"Fortunately our neighbours have been good natured.”

Norris prefers to work at night. He drags the booty through his cat flap or leaves it at the door before meowing to attract his owners.

Richard added: “We have started to ignore him when he comes in meowing with his goodies. We hope he’ll stop doing it.”

Friday, August 23, 2013

UK HEADLINES

27

GARY BOLTON JAILED OVER FAKE BOMB DETECTORS A businessman has been sentenced to seven years in prison for making and selling fake bomb detectors.

Gary Bolton, 47, made millions of pounds selling the devices around the world, boasting they could detect explo­ sives, drugs, ivory, tobacco and even money.

In actual fact they consisted of nothing more than empty boxes with handles and antennae which he made at home and at his Global Technology Ltd offices in Kent.

He denied two counts of fraud as a judge at the Old Bailey described the equipment as "useless" and "dross".

Sky's crime correspondent Martin Brunt, at the court, said Bolton spent £1.82, plus the glue and antennae, on each product and then sold them for up to £15,000 each.

The court was told Bolton's company had a turnover of almost £3m, with up to 5,000 devices made.

Prosecutor Richard Whittam QC said tests proved the detectors, first called the Mole and later remarketed as the GT200, performed no better than random searches for explosives.

Bolton claimed they worked with a range of 700 metres at ground level and 2.5 miles (4km) in the air and said they were effective through lead­lined and metal walls, water, containers and earth.

Sky News

But "double­blind" tests on a Mole device as far back as 2001 showed it had a successful detection rate of just 9%.

Sentencing the father­of­three, judge Richard Hone QC said Bolton had maintained the "little plastic box" was a piece of working equipment, and that he continued to "ped­ dle" it to scores of international clients ­ including for use by armed forces ­ despite evidence proving it was "useless".

He added: "You were determined to bolster the illusion

MAN BANNED FROM FARMS AFTER ADMITTING SEX WITH GOAT A man has been banned from visiting every single farm in the country after he had sex with a goat.

Robert Newman, 23, admitted the offence at a farm in Wiltshire in April.

He pleaded guilty at North West Wiltshire Magistrates Court in Chippenham and was released on bail.

Newman, of Devizes, Wilts, was ordered to keep away from farm animals and stay indoors after 7pm.

He had been due to stand trial but changed his plea to guilty and will be sentenced on September 12, after a pre­ sentence report has been prepared.

Newman must obey a curfew between 7pm and 7am and is not allowed to enter any land where farm animals are kept.

In a similar unrelated case, last year

father of three Nicholas Saunders was convict­ ed of having sex with his ex­wife's dog.

He was caught having intercourse with the four­year­old bull mas­ tiff called Sasha in for­ mer wife Kelly Thacker’s bed.

Saunders, of Lechlade, Glos, was placed under supervision and ordered to attend a sex offenders course.

He was placed on the sex offenders reg­ ister for the next five years.

He was also given a four­year restraining order preventing him from entering his ex­wife’s home without her written per­ mission or by court order.

Passing sentence, recorder Stewart Patterson told him: “It is quite clear from your behaviour that night that you demonstrated distorted sexual thinking which needs to be addressed."

that the devices worked and you knew there was a spurious science to produce that end.

"They had a random detection rate. They were useless.

"Soldiers, police officers, customs officers and many oth­ ers put their trust in a device which worked no better than random chance.

"The jury found you knew this but you carried on. Your profits were enormous."

Mr Whittam said Bolton admitted in interview to having no background in science, research, training or security, the court heard.

Around 1,200 devices were sold to Mexico, while orders were also shipped to parts of Asia and the Middle East.

The devices are still being used in Thailand.

Detective Inspector Roger Cook, from the City of London Police's Overseas Anti­Corruption Unit , said Bolton put "people's lives and livelihoods at serious risk, but his sole consideration was how much money he could make".

"Bringing Bolton to justice is the result of a long, complex and far reaching international investigation and his seven­ year prison sentence should act as a warning to others who seek to act corruptly overseas with the belief that they will go undetected," he added.

Footballer 'flashed' referee AFC Croydon Athletic midfielder Louis Blake was sent off during Saturday’s FA Cup extra prelimi­ nary round match against Colliers Wood for “acci­ dentally flashing” the referee when asked to prove that he had removed his undershorts.

Having come on as a sec­ ond­half sub to make his debut for the club, Blake managed about 20 minutes before the referee noticed that his black cycling shorts didn’t match Croydon’s bur­ gundy kit and ordered him off the pitch in order to change them – despite the 21­year­old’s protestations that he didn’t have an alter­

native pair.

Having removed his black shorts in the dressing room, Blake was forced to go “commando” to return to the pitch where the referee asked him to prove he’d removed the offending gar­ ment before re­entering the game.

Unfortunately, upon pulling down the front of his shorts as per the referee’s request, Blake revealed

more than the fact that he’d removed his undershorts – giving the official an eyeful of todger on the touchline, for which he was duly sent­off.

Said an incredu­ lous Blake after the game: “I was gobs­ macked, I was shocked and I was angry. I just pulled my shorts forward a bit to show him there was nothing there and he gave me a red.

“How else am I meant to prove I’ve got nothing on down there? All I wanted to do was make a good impression on my debut and now I’m probably going to have to miss three games.”

Ah, the magic of the FA Cup.

28

Friday, August 23, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

PANDA-MONIUM FRANCO’S FACADE

Madrid Zoo hopeful on panda cubs VISITORS at the Madrid Zoo­Aquarium could soon be hearing the patter of tiny black­and­ white feet. Zookeepers say that there is reason to believe that their female giant panda, Hua Zui Ba, might be pregnant again.

It is nearly three years since Hua Zui Ba and her mate Bing Xing had their last brood of cubs, Po and De­De. "Everything seems to indicate that she is preg­ nant again. Her behaviour is changing ­ she has less appetite and she is more restless," says zoo veteri­ narian Eva Martínez, adding that hormonal analysis also points to a new pregnancy.

However, Hua Zui Ba's keepers will not know for certain whether or not she is expecting until they are able to conduct more tests; panda foetuses only show up on ultrasound during the last two or three weeks of pregnancy.

A brother or sister for Po and De­De would be very important for conser­ vationists. Pandas are an endangered species, part­ ly due to deforestation and other human infringe­ ment on their natural habi­ tat. Breeding pandas in captivity is notoriously dif­ ficult. Female pandas are only fertile for around two or three days a year, mak­ ing conception a tricky business. Dr Martínez estimates that only about 25 to 35 panda cubs are born in captivity each year — most of them in China.

"Giant pandas are a species in which repro­ duction is not easy," she explains. "There are few individuals and in some cases the males do not

show interest in the females. We have to draw upon techniques of artifi­ cial insemination. The dif­ ficulties are that a lot of the time natural mating does not happen between panda partners," she says, adding that pandas are also prone to "pseudo­ pregnancies," which show the same symptoms as a genuine gestation.

"We work with highly specialized teams and personnel, with very high standards of food quality, welfare, care and supervi­ sion. This, together with the artificial reproduction techniques, allows us to have success in breed­ ing."

Last month Zoo Atlanta announced the surprise birth of two panda cubs and Edinburgh Zoo also recently announced the UK's first possible panda pregnancy.

Some other zoos around the world have resorted to unusual tech­ niques to persuade pan­ das to mate, including giv­ ing the male pandas Viagra or showing them

so­called "panda porn" ­ videos of pandas mating to get the animals "in the mood."

"All the employees at the zoo are very hopeful about the possible arrival of new panda babies this year," confirms the vet.

When Po and De­De were born, they took it in turns being with their mother and being on an incubator, swapping around every three or four hours. This mimics natural behaviour in the wild, where the mother would naturally choose one cub and leave the other.

Dr Martínez was pres­ ent at the birth of the two previous cubs. "It was very exciting. It was very important for the conser­ vation program of this endangered species. And when we saw the birth of the first baby, and after a while the second, and she cared perfectly for the off­ spring, it was very special for the whole zoo team. If this year one or two cubs were born, it would be great for the species and for the zoo."

TO GET FACE LIFT

The 'Valley of the Fallen' basilica, built by the dictator, General Franco using political prisoners as workers, is to have its facade restored at a cost of 215 thousand Euros.

The Ministry of the Presidency said that a tender offer had been accepted for restoration work on the Basilica of the Holy Cross of the Valley of the Fallen, which has the date of July 18th on it, which is the day the Spanish Civil War started in 1936.

The previous PSOE Socialist govern­ ment ordered the removal of Francoist symbols from Spanish pub­ lic spaces but the Valley has remained under the protection of Spain's National Heritage authority. It is the site of Franco's tomb but politi­ cal rallies in the Valley in support of the former dictator have been banned since 2007.

The 152.4­metre­high memorial cross is said to be the tallest in the world.

A total of 114 people have drowned this year in the sea, in private pools or while swimming in rivers – 67 of whom lost their lives between July and August alone. And 53 of these were in July, the 'black' month for drownings this year, although at least four have been reported every month of 2013.

The worst months besides July and August have been April and June with 11 and 14 deaths in the water respectively.

Around a quarter of the victims are adults under 60, the majority – 39 – were aged 60 or over, and 23 were children, with the ages of the remainder not known.

Victims are predominantly men or boys –

93 in total. Two drownings have been recorded in the Balearic Islands, but other­ wise most of the deaths occurred in coastal tourism hotspots.

Andalucía, in the south, has the most trag­ ic record with 22 people having drowned in pools and the sea this year, followed by the Canary Islands with 18 and the Comunidad Valenciana with 14, which included a small child in a La Siesta, Torrevieja swimming pool. Catalunya followed with 12, Galicia with nine and Murcia with six.

Records show that the highest number of drowning deaths occurred in the sea – 59 – and 23 in swimming pools.

WATERS OF DEATH

Friday, August 23, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

29

ABILTY TO PART WAVES, NOT ESSENTIAL THOUSANDS of Spaniards in the depressed southern region of Andalusia are queueing up to play the role of slaves in film­maker Ridley Scott's Biblical epic "Exodus", hoping for a way out of unemployment.

With Andalusia unemployment rates at 35%, the prospect of work as an extra with a daily wage of 80 Euros has sparked a rush in Almeria where casting is being held for the story of Moses and the Jewish exodus to the Promised Land.

"Half of Almeria and half of Spain has come," said one of the casting organisers, Nerea Herrero. People had come from as far as the northern Basque Country and Galicia in the northeast hoping their faces would be among the 3,000­4,000 extras that end up on the big screen, he said.

Some 10,000 people turned up at a casting call in the city of Almeria, and another 5,000 in the nearby town of

Pechina, Herrero said.

"We did not expect so many people but we're glad we had this good response because we need a lot of people," he said.

"I got up at 6:00 am to come here but I had to wait two or three hours because there were so many people in the queue," said 25­year­old unemployed farm worker Antonio Jose Pinteno. Those chosen will play the parts of the many slaves in the movie. So the casting organisers are looking for people with skin that appears to be of African or Arab ethnic origin, beards, and, above all, thin physiques.

"We are looking for very, very thin people, even if it is a bit over the top, because we need people who look like slaves and they were starving," said Herrero. Shooting is expected to start in mid­October.

Anyone for calamari? WWF SLAMS MADRID OVER MISSING LYNX

A giant squid has been caught by a fisher­ man in Asturias and is said to weigh over 80 kilos. It was seen floating on the surface of the sea just off Merón beach in Villaviciosa late last Friday evening, and was transport­ ed to the port of Gijón, the capital of the northern region.

A team from the Coordinator of Marina Species Protection and Study (CEPESMA) has taken charge of the fish, one of the most mysterious species in the world, and it will be frozen and put on display in its 'giant squid museum' once a post­mortem has been car­ ried out to ascertain the cause of death.

CEPESMA's museum in Luarca, Asturias is said to be one of the world's biggest col­ lections of giant squid, a species that can

reach nine metres (just over 29 feet) in length, have eight 'arms' and two extended tentacles.

The Cantabrian Sea – the part of the Atlantic which the three northern Spanish regions of Cantabria, Asturias and Galicia back onto – is said to contain a high number of giant squid although none have been found and brought ashore in the last four years.

Although it is not known just how many species of giant squid there are in the world, parts of the coast of Asturias near the Picos de Europa mountain range as well as off the shores of parts of New Zealand are said to have a strong population of these peculiar sea creatures.

Ten endangered Iberian Lynx’s have been killed by motorists this year, lead­ ing the World Wildlife Fund to criticise the lack of action from the Spanish Government in trying to preserve the species.

The charity said that two animals were run over last week alone, mak­ ing traffic acci­ dents the leading non­natural cause of death for the Iberian lynx in Spain. It "con­ demned the "com­ plete inaction" of government authorities, point­ ing out that 18 animals have now died in this way on the last 2 years.

The most recent case has caused par­ ticular outrage as it is the third lynx to be killed on the same stretch of road, near the city of Andújar in Andalucia.

The WWF claim that a simple, low­cost

repair of the road's perimeter fence would solve the problem.

The statement describes the failure of the authorities to do so as "a clear demonstration of the absolute indif­ ference of the Ministry of Public Works and Transport to the issue."

A working group including the Ministry and WWF was convened in March but has not met since and its recommendations have not yet been implemented.

Only around 300 Iberian lynxes remain in the wild, making it one of the most endan­ gered cat species in the world.

Experts say that if it were to become extinct, it would be the first feline species to do so since prehistoric times.

30

Friday, August 23, 2013

THE DARWIN AWARDS Named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

February 2013.) The girlfriend loaded him into the car, dropped him off at the Emergency Room, and zoomed away with the kids! Smart girl. However, survival plus children equals No Darwin Award.

Honorable Mention: Double Down (29 January 2013, Texas) Smoking a cigarette is risky enough without adding fuel to the fire. For reasons that have yet to be explained, two 24­year­olds (identified as a man and a woman) invaded the property of an oil drilling company located 75 miles east of Dallas. Four oil/water storage units located on the property seemed, to the trespassers, to be ideal platforms for a 3.00am cigarette break. In the wee hours of the morning, the disaster­ly duo climbed up and lit up, thereby setting the tank and themselves on fire.

Courageous firefighters saved the lives of these nicotine nutballs, and prevented worse tragedy by throwing large foam blankets over the remaining three oil/water tanks. Ms Disaster landed in the hospital on life support, while Mr Disaster was treated for severe burns on face, back, and arms. Survivors of their own bad judgment, we award the "Lucky Strikes" an Honourable Mention. Perhaps this episode will motivate them to quit.

Loser Wins Roach-Eating Contest Smokin' Hot Sauce!

(27 February 2012, North Carolina) "It was just a freak inci­ dent," said an investigator, that caused the death of 43­year­ old Gary Allen Banning. Gary was at a friend's apartment when he spotted a salsa jar containing a mystery fluid.

Thinking that it was an alcoholic beverage, he helped himself to a sizeable swig of gasoline! Naturally enough, he immedi­ ately spat out the offending liquid onto his clothes. Then, to recover from the shock, Gary lit a cigarette.

Whoosh! Gas+Flame=Combustion.

Firefighters responded to calls reporting a fire in the apart­ ment, and found a badly burned man sitting on a charred car­ pet. The following morning, Gasoline Gary died at the UNC Burn Centre in Chapel Hill.

Two mistakes caused his death. The first mistake was minor: gulping a golden liquid from a salsa jar. Although Darwin Awards editors feel that a jar of yellow liquid is best left sealed, drinking its contents usually does not lead to combus­ tion. But the second mistake­­lighting up a cigarette to recover from the shock of taking a mouthful of gasoline­­was a deci­ sion that an average five year old would consider question­ able. As the late Bill Hicks said, "Darn, we lost another idiot."

Gary's friend was a mechanic and kept the jar of gasoline near the kitchen sink to remove grease from his hands.

Alligator River (Australia, December 2010) The East Alligator River in Australia's Northern Territory is crossed at Cahill's Crossing.

The river also has two boat ramps, one upstream and one downstream of Cahill's Crossing. Not long ago, a Euro tourist drove into the parking lot of the upstream launch area in her hired 4WD vehicle and, seeing a concrete ramp disappearing into the water, assumed that she had reached Cahill's Crossing. She gunned the engine and drove right into the water! As the vehicle began to sink into the crocodile­infested waters, she overcame her shock, extricated herself from the sinking 4WD and managed to swim back to dry land before the reptiles had time to tie on their dinner bibs. It was a near miss for a foolish Miss!

However one can hardly fault a tourist for mistaking the boat ramp for a crossing, as the river is subject to tidal flood­ ing and the rocky causeway often resembles a boat ramp!

The crossing is a treacherous snare for local vehicles too. In December 2010, a family of three young boys travelling with their uncle and grandmother were stranded on the flooded causeway after Grandma insisted that they make a night­time crossing. "This is my country," she said. "We will be fine."

Salties were gathered around the car by the time the family was pulled to safety by a rescue boat. Ironically, the uncle was driving with a suspended license. (Reference: ntnews.com.au)

Lottery Winners Celebrate By Blowing Up House.

Two brothers celebrated a winning $75,000 lottery ticket with a marijuana and meth binge that blew up their house. In preparation for the drug orgy they emptied several large cans of butane fuel while refilling their lighters; butane fumes crept toward the furnace and ignited. One brother was taken to the hospital and the other was taken to jail. (Wichita, KS. 15

(5 October 2012, Florida) Police say that Edward A., 32, died after winning a roach­eating contest (and losing a worm­ eating contest) at a reptile store. By some reports, he ate a plate full of super worms, a handful of mealworms, and half a bucket of roaches. Nominated for a Darwin Award, Mr Roach Man loses the prize because­­surprising but true­­roaches and worms are considered edible. Entomologists say that an all­you­can­eat insect buffet is not normally deadly, just silly.

The cause of death was not officially disclosed, yet educat­ ed guessers finger a dormant food allergy waiting for the right trigger. Contestants were disallowed if they were allergic to shellfish, and roach allergies can develop in people living in infested tenements.

So was it Darwin­Award­Winning­dumb for Edward to overindulge in roaches? No, just weird. Our nominee is a few twigs short of an award, yet deserves a mention for a memo­ rable exit. A lingering question is, were the roaches raw or cooked?

QUOTABLE FACTOID: "Very few human cultures tend to eat cockroaches [due to] high levels of uric acid and nitroge­ nous waste." Bill Kern, PhD, University of Florida, quoted in The Miami Herald.

Airhead Extends Principle to Abdomen (22 September 1999, Scotland) A Scottish follower of Breatharianism demonstrated a comprehensive misunder­ standing of biology during her recent attempt to "Live with Light" in the Scottish Highlands.

Verity, 48, was adhering to a 21­day spiritual cleansing course, wherein followers of Breatharianism eschew all food and drink for seven days. They continue to abstain, fourteen more days, from all but sips of water.

During Verity's brief stay in the Scottish Highlands, she endeavoured to master the art of "pranic feeding," surviving on inhaled carbon, nitrogen, and oxygen.

Guru Jasmuheen, an Australian formerly known as Ellen Greve, boasts 5000 followers worldwide, though she does not disclose whether they are always the same followers. She points out that 'breatharianism' is the perfect cure for anorex­ ia, and world hunger, as adherents need never eat nor drink again.

Anorexia sufferers, and hunger victims, have already attempted this course of action, with known results.

Nutritionists say a human can survive without fluid for six days, at most. These research results did not deter Verity, who took to the wilds with only a tent and her grit and deter­ mination.

She died from hypothermia and dehydration, aggravated by lack of food.

Jasmuheen, whose dress size was not disclosed, claims to have survived on "liquid air" since 1993, although she does allow herself cups of herbal tea and chocolate biscuits. The founder of the cult said that Verity's death was not due to physical need for food. Rather, it was a failure to satisfy spiri­ tual needs brought about by a battle with her own ego.

Convince the Jury Clement Vallandigham was a well­known Northern Democrat who campaigned for states' rights during the Civil War. In 1863 Vallandigham was convicted of treason for his

speeches attacking the administration of President Lincoln.

He was banished to the South, where he continued to voice his political views.

After the war, Vallandingham became a lawyer. In his last appearance in the courtroom, he represented a client on trial for murder. The accused man's defence was that the victim had drawn his own gun in a fashion that caused it to fire, killing himself. To prove the defence argument, Vallandigham demonstrated the victim's method of drawing a gun­­using the loaded evidence gun as his prop. The firearm went off, and he lost his life­­but proved his case.

Explosive Mix of Girls (14 March 2000, Denmark) Three teenage girls were hiding out in the public restroom sniffing gas on Tuesday, when one of them casually lit a cigarette. The explosion ignited the fumes filling the small enclosure, and the girls rushed from the toilets ... straight into the arms of police, since the restroom they had chosen was in the same building as the police sta­ tion.

Inspector Leif Hay said, "We heard a bang from the toilets, and a moment later the girls ran screaming out." The officers gave them first aid by dousing them with cold water, and sent them to the hospital for further treatment.

None of the gas­sniffing girls is in danger of losing her life, but unless they learn their lessons from this experience, we expect to hear from them again soon.

Lesson One: When sniffing lighter fluid, avoid doing so next to a police station, unless you foresee the need for first aid.

Lesson Two: When sniffing lighter fluid in a small closed room, try to control the urge for nicotine until you are and away from the fumes.

Lesson Three: Do not sniff lighter fluid.

Kicked the Bucket (26 January 2007, Texas) In a world full of wonders, man invented boredom. So work time becomes play time. If you work in an office, you reproduce your naughty bits on the copy machine. If you work for an arc welding company? A plastic bucket, welding materials, and a single spark can combine for a play date with a bang.

"I was on the computer when I heard the boom," said a res­ ident of the trailer park adjacent to the welding shop. "It shook my house. The whole neighbourhood could feel it!"

Just for kicks, a 30­year­old welder and four co­workers had attempted to blow up a plastic bucket. Our man placed a striker, a spark­generating device used to start a welder's torch, in the plastic bucket and sealed it. Then he filled the bucket with acetylene, an explosive gas used for welding. The plan was to toss the bucket in the air, and watch it explode when the striker sparked.

Before that happened, however, our Darwin wannabe inad­ vertently kicked the plastic bucket, and the striker struck a spark. BOOM. The explosive force turned the lid of the bucket into a whirling saw that flew through the air and struck the man in his right arm, nearly severing it. He also sustained lac­ erations to his right leg.

No one else was injured in the blast, and no charges were filed, as it was felt that the perpetrator of the incident had already been sufficiently punished.

Crutch, Meet Crotch (November 2007, Russia) Late one night, Eduard entered the apartment of a 30­year­old handicapped man, who slept peacefully as Eduard quietly cleaned out the valuables.

Eduard was preparing to leave when suddenly the man woke up."I couldn't believe my eyes! The dark shape of some goon was standing next to my nightstand!" recalls the burglary vic­ tim. "I cried out and he attacked me, who was defenceless, with his fists! I had no choice. I hit him between the legs with my crutch, and he leapt out the window. Thank God I live on the first floor, and he did not die from the fall.

"I didn't understand at first what had fallen out of his pants.

When I looked closer, I realized that it was a testicle, a man's testicle! I put it in cold water, and rushed to the phone." The handicapped man dialed the emergency services several times, but "the doctors hung up on me when I told them I had ripped a burglar's balls off!"

Half an hour later, the blood­covered thief was found by a passerby, who called the police. "An unconscious man was lying on the sidewalk," said the police investigator. "When the medics revived him, he started screaming hysterically, 'Give me back my balls!'"

Eduard's genitals were so traumatized that doctors had to amputate the entire scrotum to prevent gangrene. In the hos­ pital, the burglar filed a complaint against his victim. He said, "I will never forgive him!"

Friday, August 23, 2013

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Friday, August 23, 2013

Horrorscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 You do a lot of good work, make people pay for it! Having to stop today and go to sleep will seem like a prison sentence.

Avoid low­level lighting this week, and any power lines that you might have to pass under on the way to work. All the best plans go awry, so please make sure you're ready for any surprises.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Install that software, make it a priority!

(Don't blame us if your computer starts dissolving) Flapping your arms like a bird is a good way to call attention to yourself.

This week will see "a new hope" arrive in the form of a whiny sand­farmer boy. The stars indicate that it is a good week to party like it's 1999.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 Cups of tea and coffe will start to rack up around your desk today as you try to get everything done under the heady influ­ ence of a bucket of caffeine. Pah! Happiness? The Gods know not of this word and you will pay for your insubordi­ nation. Remember, it's unfair to expect your friends and family to provide you with alibis.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Believe everything you read today. You gullibility may cause you problems later this week. Purple clouds are not usual, nor is red rain. You really must stop pre­ tending that the pictures your niece draws are real. Fault for your situation can be accredited to anyone you wish ­ go nuts!

Spank yourself silly today because you're been VERY VERY bad.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Find some candles, tonight will be filled with darkness. It's going to be one of those days, I really, really apologise.

Google is about to take over your life ­ play responsibly. It's never too late to accept that you're a complete fraud.

When Elvis sang, it's like he was thinking of you. Oh yes, especially when he does those "groin dips".

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 The odds on you surviving the day with your sanity intact are low. Many of your feelings can be expressed in the form of haikus. However, you'll be lucky if you can find anyone who gives a flying hoot, or who actually finds them impressive in any way. Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 If you're terrified by the thought of some­ one being able to look into your mind...are you sure you should be here, because that's what I'm doing right now.

Do you have any idea what you're letting yourself in for? Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not you. Your bed is made, lie in it. Fall asleep for a while. Spoon the pillows.

Yes, that's it. Relax.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Good fortune is raining down on everyone but yourself today. Hilarity may ensue this week if you decide to hire a clown on Thursday night. Just because people laugh at you doesn't make you a comedi­ an. Having a box of tissues close to hand might become important over the coming minutes.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Your ideals are starting to shape the way you're living, so congratulations. Boxes that you have lying around may become useful for any storage. You're doing really well, keep it up! You are a beautiful crea­ ture ­ don't let any other pretty bitch tell you otherwise. "Rankle" is a beautiful word, but may blow your world apart today.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 Thinking and driving at the same time can be hazardous for you today. Don't be embarrassed by your actions today, embrace your flamboyant side. The world moves pretty fast around you and you must learn to slow it down to a reason­ able pace. Much of this can be done with a hefty broad­sword.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Speeling mestakes are'nt god. See how clever you can be today by attempting to count your lose change inside your pock­ et WITHOUT taking your hand or the money out. Today may seem like an extraordinary opportunity to get even with the world, but the world may have differ­ ent ideas.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Be warned about your general demeanour today as others will not take kindly to happy­clappy fools. Your suspicions may prove correct today as you super­sleuth your way around the office. Weeks are made to find new ways of entertaining yourself during boredom. Make sure your weekend reflects this happier time.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Call 966 921 003 NOW!

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Friday, August 23, 2013

FLIP-FLOPS A NO GO Driving in flip­flops is more dangerous than heels, with the flimsy footwear responsible for an estimated 1.4 million car crashes or near misses per year.

A study commissioned by car insurance company Sheilas’ Wheels found that one third of motorists wear the not so supportive shoe behind the wheel, topping a poll of the top five summer footwear Brits struggle to drive in.

As many as 51% of drivers surveyed admitted struggling to drive in flip­flops, while 49% said they’d found it difficult to drive in bare feet. The latter is not technically illegal, but if it means that you aren’t in prop­ er control of a motor vehicle, you could still face action by the police.

In third place, 38% of respondents to the survey admitted they’d experienced difficulty manipulating the pedals in wedge heels, while a quarter of all motorists asked said espadrilles, or

other canvas­type shoes caused them prob­ lems with control at some point.

Rounding out the top five worst types of footwear to drive in were sandals – 18% of people revealed the strappy shoe had caused them difficulties in controlling a car.

According to the research study, wearing flip­flops impairs your movement between the brake and accelerator pedal by up to 0.1 seconds – this sounds a tiny fraction of time, but that momentary delay could be enough to cause a crash.

Add to that flip­flops reduce the average driver’s braking force by 3% compared to safer, sturdier shoes – the equivalent of trav­ elling an extra 4m at 60mph, or about anoth­ er car length – and it’s easy to see how footwear has an impact on safety.

Despite this, 20% of drivers have never considered their footwear might affect their ability to drive. One in five asked continued to wear shoes they’d had a near miss in, while 24% actually admitted getting their shoe stuck under a pedal.

It seems that women are more safety con­ scious when it comes to shoe choice, with 36% carrying a spare pair of safe driving shoes compared to just 12% of men.

To combat these footwear faux pars, Sheilas’ Wheels has actually designed a new safety accessory to support your heel when wearing flip­flops. The foldable con­ traption will fit in your glove box and adds extra stability to improve braking force, as well as aiding movement between the brake

and accelerator.

Head of projects at Sheilas’ Wheels, Jacky Brown: “It’s worrying that so many drivers out there do not realise the impact their footwear choices can have on their safety at the wheel.

“Millions may think they can drive safely but may not realise the shortcomings of the flip­flop until it’s too late – putting them­ selves, their passengers and other drivers at risk every time they get in the car.”

TOP 5 SUMMER FOOTWEAR BRITS STRUGGLE TO DRIVE IN: 1) Flip­flops – 51% 2) Bare feet – 49% 3) Wedge heels – 38% 4) Espadrilles – 25% 5) Sandals – 18%

Friday, August 23, 2013

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Friday, August 23, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 1 represents P and 10 represents L, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Therefore (4) 4 Simple (4) 9 Visualise (7) 10 Knick­knack (5) 11 Percussion instrument (5,4) 12 Donkey (3) 13 Guardian (6) 15 Dairy product (6) 17 Owns (3) 18 Candidate for a post (9) 21 Devout (5) 22 Appease (7) 23 Surrender (4) 24 Look for (4)

2 Emperor of Ethiopia (1930 to 1974) (5,8) 3 Curse (5) 4 Exclude from a church (13) 5 Retainer (7) 6 Children's puzzle (6) 7 Information (4) 8 Employer (4) 14 Renovate (7) 16 Preferably (6) 17 Optimism (4) 19 Tubes (5) 20 Distantly (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Thus, 4 Easy, 9 Imagine, 10 Curio, 11 Snare drum, 12 Ass, 13 Warden, 15 Butter, 17 Has, 18 Applicant, 21 Pious, 22 Placate, 23 Cede, 24 Seek.

Down: 2 Haile Selassie, 3 Swear, 4 Excommunicate, 5 Servant, 6 Jigsaw, 7 Data, 8 Boss, 14 Restore, 16 Rather, 17 Hope, 19 Pipes, 20 Afar.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Most witches are found to be irritating (6) 5 Composer round the twist? (5) 9 A sympathetic feeling makes them pay! (7) 10 Seaside feature is a cover for illegal activities (5) 11 Leafy tree left near a Roman Catholic hospital (5) 12 View allows for loop­ holes (7) 13 Round, round, round the troop leader (6) 15 Return and you’ll see you can visit Argentina for nothing (6) 19 London borough destroyed the lamb (7) 21 Prospect of getting time in travel document (5) 23 A drink for the American conscripts (5) 24 Unusual coin found in dish (7) 25 It’s rowdy in Hanoi’s youngsters’ area (5)

26 Scoff in attempt to get agreement (6) Down 2 Habitual drinker appear­ ing in light opera (5) 3 Slight problem in a Hertfordshire town (7) 4 Pigpen was first to be titled (6) 5 Long gun sack (5) 6 Extremely forceful, pos­ sibly not evil (7) 7 Louts destroyed a plant (5) 8 Bank employee who can’t keep his mouth shut?

(6) 14 Kettledrum disrupted the main pit (7) 16 Daydream about one American patriot (7) 17 It’s hardly enough to put a food container in the swine’s home (6) 18 Dehydration results from a scruffy T­shirt (6) 19 Los Angeles lair is charged (5) 20 Access the journal item (5) 22 Boast about a clog (5)

STANDARD CLUES Down Across 2 Drinker (5) 1 Irritating skin sensations 3 Hertfordshire town (7) (6) 4 Fashioned (6) 5 French composer (5) 5 Firearm (5) 9 Fellow feeling (7) 6 Cruel (7) 10 Facade (5) 7 Egyptian water lily (5) 11 Coniferous tree (5) 8 Bank clerk (6) 12 Small openings (7) 14 Kettle drums (7) 13 Corpulent (6) 16 Abstracted musing (7) 15 Complimentary (6) 17 Insubstantial (6) 19 London borough (7) 18 Desire for water (6) 21 Grand view (5) 19 Loaded (5) 23 Rough drawing (5) 20 Access (5) 24 Cheese dish (7) 22 Wooden shoe (5) 25 Cacophonous (5) 26 Pact (6) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Arch, 3 Playpen, 7 Sue, 8 Frump, 9 Sinew, 10 Ouija, 11 Loner, 12 Moans, 13 Tess, 14 Arras, 16 Poles, 18 Abbe, 20 Renew, 22 Delve, 24 Email, 25 Balsa, 26 Asian, 27 Ear, 28 Insider, 29 Team.

Down: 1 Alfalfa, 2 Churn, 3 Pewits, 4 Assam, 5 Pintail, 6 Newts, 7 Sports, 15 Rankles, 16 Pedlar, 17 Sternum, 19 Beaver, 20 Rabbi, 21 Weald, 23 Loire.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Am It Ma We 3 letter words Ado Air Ale All Are Ate Axe Bog Cod Den Don Dot Ear

Eek Era Ewe Fan Fee Gnu Got Ice Led Net Ore Pan Pin Ref Sin Tar Use 4 letter words Ages Area

Arts Bars Base Boss Both Cone Cons Each Epic Hart Hers Isle Knee Left Lent List Lute Mare Mead Odes Pose

Sand Sane Sate Sear Sign Sore Sums Tapa Test Trio Woes 5 letter words Basis Cadre Genre Gored Helix Irate Lease Limit

Matte Oriel Steal Taint 6 letter words Afford Cheers Harass Primal Serene Warmth 7 letter words Cottage Teatime 8 letter words Costlier Trotters

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Dill (6) 4 Patos (5) 8 Pétalo (5) 9 Fan (hand held) (7) 10 Government­licenced tobacconist’s (7) 11 Carrera (4) 12 Thirst (3) 14 Berry (4) 15 Fácil (sencillo) (4) 18 Light (not darkness) (3) 21 Which (4) 23 Sponge (7) 25 Más temprano (7) 26 Claro (5) 27 Tiburón (5) 28 Caballos (animales) (6)

Down 1 Employment (6) 2 Statue (7) 3 Apron (8) 4 Sordo (persona) (4) 5 Young girl (5) 6 Piedras (6) 7 Lakes (5) 13 Slowly (8) 16 Cantantes (7) 17 Tornillos (6) 19 Cebra (5) 20 Goats (6) 22 Sour (f) (5) 24 Leche (de mamífero, planta) (4)

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Friday, August 23, 2013 Across 9 Which large volcanic Japanese island was the site of a bloody and prolonged Second World War operation (February and March 1945) in which American marines landed and defeated Japanese defenders? (3,4) 10 Which French phrase is used to mean ‘up to date’ or ‘in fashion’? (1,2,4) 11 According to Greek mythology, what was the name of the fire­breathing female monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail? (7) 12 Which submarine­ launched ballistic missile used by the US and the UK takes its name from a spear with three prongs? (7) 13 Which musical by Julian Slade and Dorothy Reynolds, which premiered at the Vaudeville Theatre in London in August 1954, features the songs Time of My Life, We Said We Wouldn’t Look Back, I Sit in the Sun and It’s Easy to Sing? (5,4) 15 What was the stage sur­ name of the diminutive British slapstick comedian who was famous for his catchphrase ‘Hello my darlings’? (5)

16 As depicted on the nation­ al flag of Scotland, what name is given to a cross resembling the letter X, with diagonal bars of equal length? (7) 19 What name for a person assisting a priest in a religious service or procession comes from the Greek for ‘follower’?

(7) 20 What name is usually given to the building or build­ ings occupied by a communi­ ty of monks or nuns? (5) 21 Which exclamation used to urge someone to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future, means ‘seize the day!’ in Latin? (5,4) 25 Until it was replaced by the euro in 2001, what was the main unit of currency of Greece? (7) 26 What name is often applied to a fixed regular sum paid as a salary or as expenses to a clergyman, teacher or public official? (7) 28 What name is given to a native of Slovenia? (7) 29 Literally meaning ‘giving life to flowers’, what name is given to the Japanese art of flower arrangement? (7) Down

SUDOKU (Very Easy)

Quiz Word

1 Lawrence Okoye is the cur­ rent British record holder in which athletics throwing event (68.24 metres)? (6) 2 Which international auxil­

iary language for universal communication between speakers of different native languages was devised by the Danish linguist Otto

Jespersen in 1928? (6) 3 Which unit of length is equal to 1,609.344 meters?

(4) 4 Which wide­brimmed men’s hat is named after a country in Central America?

(6) 5 Which 1940 Walt Disney animated film consists of eight animated segments set to pieces of classical music conducted by Leopold Stokowski? (8) 6 What name is given to a word, phrase or sequence that reads the same back­ wards as forwards? (10) 7 The narrow leaves of which evergreen aromatic shrub of the mint family, native to southern Europe, are used as a culinary herb, in perfumery and as an emblem of remem­ brance? (8) 8 What name is often applied to one who professes great sensitivity to the beauty of art and nature? (8) 14 Which device, invented by David S Lee in 1969, is used as a printer in some word processors, and consists of a disc of spokes each terminat­ ing in a printing character?

(5,5) 16 What was the stage sur­

name of the English pop singer and stage actor whose UK hit singles include My Coo­Ca­Choo, Jealous Mind, Red Dress and You You You? (8) 17 Which costal region of eastern Canada gives its name to a type of retriever dog? (8) 18 What name is given to enclosed territories that are culturally distinct from the for­ eign territory (or territories) that surround them? (8) 22 At 17,075,400 square kilo­ metres (6,592,800 sq miles), which is the largest country in the world, covering more than one­eighth of the Earth’s inhabited land area? (6) 23 Which word completes the title of a play written by American playwright Eugene O’Neill that premiered on Broadway in October 1946: The [What] Cometh? (6) 24 By what colonial name was the Indian city of Chennai known until 1996?

(6) 27 What surname connects the American singer, author and actor Burl (1909–1995) and the US classical music composer Charles Ives (1874–1954)? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LOS RECUERDOS –THE SOUVENIRS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

cuanto cuesta

la artesanía

el abanico

la cerámica

el collar

la cesta

el delantal

la espada

el jerez

la jarra

el llavero

la muñeca

el postal

la pulsera

el sombrero

las castañuelas

el vino

los pendientes

general QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. John Walker In 1827 2. China 3. Circle / Ellipse 4.

Bifocal Lens 5. blue 6. Plato 7. Lizard Point 8. Eight 9.

Julie London 10. Ultra Violet Or UV 11. Momentum 12.

Slate

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 6 Cello, 7 Aardvark, 10 Carrion, 11 Ottoman, 12 Dongles, 13 Fuchsia, 14 Table tennis, 19 Aqueous, 21 Mammoth, 23 Tarnish, 25 Rarebit, 26 Yosemite, 27 Garbo.

Down: 1 Clarinet, 2 Jovial, 3 Saint­Saens, 4 Trio, 5 Grimes, 6 Cicada, 8 Vatican, 9 Snead, 13 Flea market, 15 Bromine, 16 Snowbird, 17 Latte, 18 Ghetto, 20 Uproot, 22 Mirage, 24 Hail.

hecho a mano Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.cuanto cuesta, 2.el abanico,

17.la pulsera,

l.How much is it?,

3.el collar, 4.el delantal,

18.las castañuelas,

m.the ear­rings, n.the postcard,

5.el jerez, 6.el llavero, 7.el pos­

19.los pendientes

o.the wine, p.the doll,

tal, 8.el sombrero, 9.el vino,

a.the bracelet, b.the castanets,

q.the sword, r.the hat,

10.hecho a mano,

c.the apron, d.the fan, e.pottery,

s.the handicrafts.

11.la artesanía, 12.la cerámica,

f.the basket, g.the key ring,

13.la cesta, 14.la espada,

h.the jug, i.the sherry,

15.la jarra, 16.la muñeca,

j.the necklace, k.hand­made,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1l, 2d, 3j, 4c, 5i, 6g, 7n, 8r, 9o, 10k, 11s, 12e, 13f, 14q, 15h, 16p, 17a, 18b, 19m.

1. Who Invented The First Self Lighting Match?

2. Traditionally what should be given on a 20th anniver­ sary?

3. If The Sum Of The Distances Between 2 Points Is Constant What Shape Do You Get? 4. What Aid To Vision Was Invented By Benjamin Franklin?

5. what colour cap is worn by an english cricketer capped for his country?

6. Which Greek philosopher wrote 'The Republic and The Laws'?

7. What Is The Most Southerly Point Of Mainland Great Britain?

8. In Horse Racing How Many Furlongs Are In A Mile?

9. Route 66 Composer Bobby Troup Was Married To Which Sultry Singer?

10. Which Of The Suns Rays Should A Sun Cream Protect You Against?

11. What Does Mass Multiplied By Velocity Give You? 12. What Is The Bed Of A snooker Table Made From?

Fill It In

38

Friday, August 23, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY

DUMBED DOWN DOCS OFFER NOTHING

with ALEX TRELINSKI What is this obsession with celebrities trying to host serious travel, nature, and history documen­ taries?

Just because Michael Palin has made a second career for himself doing it over the last 25 years, it doesn’t mean that everybody is up to his standard.

Recently we’ve had a clichéd series on ITV with Robson Green looking at the North East of England with a script

written by a child who must have used a picture book as a reference point. There was an equally useless effort about Ireland fronted by James Nesbitt, and we’ve also had rubbish from Caroline Quentin, whilst ITV are pumping out more pro­ grammes from Adrian Edmondson than the number of cast members being sus­ pended from Coronation Street!

The BBC have been just as bad, with Paul O'Grady (who I like), this week finish­ ing off a look at the British working class in a piece of tat that was shamefully commis­ sioned by BBC1. To be fair,

the last few years have brought some good travel films with Paul Merton and Joanna Lumley, but these are exceptions to the rule. Is there a feeling amongst TV executives that nobody these days will watch a documen­ tary on the main channels unless there is some kind of showbiz name attached to it?

I eagerly await the One Direction guide to British political history, and Helen Flanagan’s probing insight into Albert Einstein!

q

BBC1’s Friday night comedy, Big School, is a gentle affair. No great belly laughs, but it certainly raised a smile with a nice line up of performers led by co­creator David Walliams and Catherine Tate, as well a great turn by Frances de la Tour as the cigarette smok­ ing alcohol loving head­ mistress. It’s hardly ground­ breaking and you’d have to spin back to the late sixties for the best school laughs from Please Sir, but I’ve seen many worse new comedy shows over the last year, and this is certainly not a turn­off.

q

My tirades over Saturday night TV have meant that I have not men­ tioned another drama series to add to the list of the greats of 2013: ­ that’s Southcliffe from Channel Four. The sub­ ject matter of a man going on a killing spree in a sleepy English town was not going to be comfortable viewing,

and why should it be?

You got used to movements of the various time­ lines as well as being gen­ u i n e l y shocked at times, due to a great script played out deftly by a top cast.

Sensational it wasn’t, with absolutely the right mood, which was matched by some appro­ priately grey cinematography, and a terrific final episode.

I couldn’t work out whether Channel Five’s latest import, Under the Dome is brilliant or a dud.

Based on a Stephen King book, Steven Spielberg’s production company has pro­ duced this surprise US TV summer­hit about a an

q

American community that is locked­in by a transparent dome, which may or may not have come from some aliens.

The show appears on the basis of the first episode on Monday to be verging on being mad with all kinds of stupidity, including the script.

It was silly enough for me to make a return to it next week!

The Courier Friday TV

August 23

01:20 Das Auto: The Germans, Their Cars and Us 00:35 City Hall

02:20 This Is BBC Two

02:20 Holiday Weatherview

07:10 Homes Under the Hammer

02:25 BBC News

08:10 Countryside 999

07:00 Breakfast

08:55 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

10:15 Heir Hunters

09:25 Robbed, Raided, Reunited

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer

09:55 Formula 1

12:00 Countryside 999

11:35 The Magnificent Showman

12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

13:50 Formula 1

13:15 Bargain Hunt

15:35 Coast

14:00 BBC News; Weather

16:15 Great Barrier Reef

14:30 Regional News and Weather

17:15 Journeys from the Centre of

14:45 Doctors

the Earth

15:15 Perfection

18:15 Antiques Roadshow

16:00 Escape to the Country

19:00 Eggheads

16:45 Wanted Down Under

19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets

17:30 Put Your Money Where Your

20:30 Great British Railway

Mouth Is

Journeys

18:15 Pointless

21:00 Mastermind

19:00 BBC News

21:30 Gardeners' World

19:30 BBC London News

22:00 The Burrowers: Animals

20:00 The One Show

Underground

20:30 Nigel Slater's Dish of the Day

23:00 The Trip

21:00 EastEnders

23:30 Newsnight

21:30 Celebrity MasterChef

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Star Treatment 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Long Lost Family 18:00 Take on the Twisters 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 River Monsters 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Doc Martin 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 Pitch Black

THE BURROWERS

22:00 Big School 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Would I Lie to You?

00:20 The Men Who Made Us Fat

It's now spring in the burrows and the young ani­ mals are having to grow up fast, with the seven orphaned badgers learning to communicate with one another, the rabbits taking their first steps out­ side and the water voles going for their first swim.

Chris Packham also explores the life of the mole, revealing its survival techniques, its method of burrowing and the food it eats, while the team unveils the excavated abandoned wild rabbit war­ ren.

00:00 24 Hours in A&E 01:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 01:55 Legally High: True Stories 02:50 Why Don't You Speak English?

03:45 Ade Adepitan: Journey of My Lifetime 04:40 What's Fufu?

04:45 Deal or No Deal 05:40 Countdown 06:25 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:50 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Hollywood Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 14:05 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 Peter Kay Live at the Top of the Tower 23:20 Peter Kay ­ In Conversation

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Celebrity Big Brother 14:10 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Concrete Canyons 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Cricket: The Ashes 21:00 Paul Merton's Adventures 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:30 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

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The Courier Saturday TV

August 24

07:30 Formula 1 09:10 Formula 1 00:05 Pramface

10:55 Formula 1

00:40 Derailed

12:05 Coast

02:20 Weatherview

12:30 The A to Z of TV Cooking

02:25 BBC News

13:15 Caribbean Food Made Easy

07:00 Breakfast

13:45 University Challenge

11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Football Focus

14:15 Escape to the Country 15:00 Exploring China: A Culinary

13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather

Adventure 16:00 Wild China

13:10 Formula 1

17:00 Urban Jungle

15:15 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League

17:30 Final Score 18:30 Flog It!

18:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather

19:00 Dragons' Den 20:00 Proms Extra 2013

18:35 Pointless Celebrities 19:25 That Puppet Game Show 20:05 I Love My Country 20:50 The National Lottery: Break the Safe

20:40 Dad's Army 21:10 Thatcher ­ The Downing Street Years 22:10 This World 23:10 QI XL

21:40 Casualty

23:55 TOTP2

22:30 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day

00:05 Kidulthood 01:30 David Starkey's Music & Monarchy 02:30 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two

01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Columbo: a Case of Immunity 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Jake and the Neverland Pirates 07:25 Poppy Cat 07:50 Canimals 08:00 Bookaboo 08:15 Almost Naked Animals 08:30 The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

08:55 Kick Buttowski ­ Suburban Daredevil 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Dinner Date 10:25 Saturday Cookbook 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 Saturday Farm 13:20 ITV News and Weather 13:24 ITV Meridian Weather 13:25 The Chase 14:25 Problem Child 16:00 You've Been Framed!

16:30 Midsomer Murders 18:30 ITV News Meridian 18:30 ITV Meridian Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:30 You've Been Framed!

20:00 Harry Potter and the Half­ Blood Prince 22:55 The Americans 23:50 ITV News and Weather

00:25 01:25 01:30 02:15 02:40 03:00 03:25 03:55 04:45 05:40 06:35 07:00 07:10 08:00 08:30 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 12:55 13:25 14:30 17:10 19:40 20:00 22:20

Rude Tube Random Acts The Last Leg I'm Spazticus New Girl The Mindy Project The Ricky Gervais Show St Elsewhere Three in a Bed Deal or No Deal Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard The Treacle People The Hoobs British F3 International Series The Grid The Morning Line Frasier Everybody Loves Raymond The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Jamie Does Channel 4 Racing Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Mission: Impossible 2 The A­Team

HARRY POTTER The sixth in the blockbuster fantasy adventure series, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson. The ruthless Death Eaters announce the return of their master, Lord Voldemort, with a series of attacks on London. As disaster looms, Professor Dumbledore brings for­ mer tutor Horace Slughorn back to Hogwarts so that young wizard Harry Potter can learn from him the secrets of Voldemort's power.

00:30 Celebrity Big Brother 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Megaforce 11:35 Slugterra 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:05 Celebrity Big Brother 13:30 Police Interceptors 14:30 Columbo Likes the Nightlife 16:50 Patton 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Cricket: The Ashes 21:00 NCIS 22:00 NCIS 22:55 5 News Weekend 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

The Courier Sunday TV

August 25

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:10 Bachelor Mother 00:45 The Football League Show 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 09:35 Match of the Day 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 13:00 BBC News 13:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 13:10 Formula 1 16:15 Supermarket Secrets 17:15 Escape to the Country 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 Britain's Big Wildlife Revival 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 What Remains

08:30 Around the World in 80 Gardens 09:30 Gardeners' World 10:00 The Beechgrove Garden 10:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:00 The Incredible Spice Men 12:30 Live MotoGP 14:00 EastEnders 15:50 Triathlon 19:00 Flog It! 19:30 Iolo's Great Welsh Parks 20:00 The Great British Bake Off 21:00 Dragons' Den 22:00 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip 23:00 QI 23:30 James May's Toy Stories

00:04 ITV Meridian Weather 00:05 American Dreamz 02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Jake and the Neverland Pirates 07:25 Poppy Cat 07:50 Canimals 08:00 Bookaboo 08:15 Almost Naked Animals 08:30 The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

08:55 Kick Buttowski ­ Suburban Daredevil 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Country House Sunday 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:15 Murder, She Wrote 12:15 ITV News and Weather 12:19 ITV Meridian Weather 12:20 Ade in Britain 13:25 Columbo: Now You See Him 15:20 A Touch of Frost 17:25 Tea with Mussolini 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:00 Vera 22:55 ITV News and Weather 23:09 ITV Meridian Weather 23:10 The People's Medal

WHAT REMAINS

23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Room 101 ­ Extra Storage

00:55 My Year without Sex 02:25 Homicide 04:00 This Is BBC Two

When a couple move into their new home to pre­ pare for the arrival of their first baby, a leak drip­ ping through the ceiling leads to a shocking dis­ covery ­ a decomposed body in the loft of the flat above them. According to Michael and Vidya's neighbours, no one has lived there for years and the previous occupant, Melissa, hasn't been seen for some time.

00:35 Tim Minchin and the Heritage Orchestra Live at the Royal Albert Hall 02:05 MacGruber 03:35 Hollyoaks 05:45 Deal or No Deal 06:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 Ironman 2013 08:00 FIA GT 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:30 The Simpsons 15:00 The Simpsons 15:30 Star Trek IV: the Voyage Home 17:50 Location, Location, Location 18:50 Channel 4 News 19:15 Chalet Girl 21:00 Celebrity Deal or No Deal 22:00 The Mechanic 23:50 The Sixth Sense

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Bubble Guppies 07:25 The Mr Men Show 07:40 Chloe's Closet 07:50 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:10 Noddy in Toyland 08:25 City of Friends 08:40 Little Princess 08:55 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:10 Angelina Ballerina 09:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:30 Rupert Bear 09:45 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:00 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:10 Roary the Racing Car 10:25 Jelly Jamm 10:45 Power Rangers Samurai 11:20 Slugterra 11:40 Inside Hollywood 11:45 Celebrity Big Brother 12:45 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 13:40 Cowboy Builders 14:40 Hitch 16:55 Stand by Me 18:30 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Cricket: The Ashes 21:00 Once Upon a Time 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Erin Brockovich

40

The Courier Monday TV

August 26

03:15 Holby City 04:15 This Is BBC Two 00:05 That Puppet Game Show 00:45 A Walk to Remember 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Regional News and Weather 14:30 Perfection 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:00 Doctor Who at the Proms 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:15 Weather 19:30 The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2013 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Fightback Britain 22:00 Ultimate Swarms

00:10 Murder, She Wrote" 01:05 The Store 07:20 Homes Under the Hammer 03:10 Motorsport UK 08:20 Countryside 999 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 09:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 09:35 Animal Park 07:00 Daybreak 10:20 Sinbad: Legend of the Seven 09:30 Lorraine Seas 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:40 Equestrian 11:30 Columbo: Requiem for a 13:40 El Cid Falling Star 16:35 Talking Pictures 13:00 Star Treatment 17:15 Journeys from the Centre of 14:00 ITV News and Weather the Earth 14:10 ITV News Meridian 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 14:20 Storage Hoarders 19:00 Eggheads 15:20 Secret Dealers 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 16:20 Take on the Twisters 20:30 Only Connect 17:20 The Incredible Hulk 21:00 University Challenge 19:25 ITV News Meridian 19:40 ITV News and Weather 21:30 The Incredible Spice Men 20:00 Emmerdale 22:00 Horizon 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 You've Been Framed!

Programme 21:30 Coronation Street 23:30 Last Chance Harvey 22:00 The Bourne Identity 07:00 This Is BBC Two

01:50 Catherine Tate: Laughing at the Noughties 03:40 Nashville 04:25 Three in a Bed 05:20 Deal or No Deal 06:15 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:40 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 The Big Bang Theory 11:35 The Big Bang Theory 12:05 Ben­Hur 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Attack of the Zeppelins 22:00 Benefits Britain 1949 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 23:55 Top Boy

ULTIMATE SWARMS

23:00 BBC News 23:20 Regional News and Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 2

00:30 The Hoax

Zoologist and explorer George McGavin goes in search of some of the world's most impressive swarms to find out why these natural spectacles are a solution to surviving against the odds. He dis­ covers that unlocking the secrets of how other ani­ mals swarm could be crucial to understanding an increasingly crowded human world.

02:20 Countryfile

01:35 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 02:20 SuperCasino 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 Celebrity Big Brother 14:10 Neighbours 14:40 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 16:20 Dracula: Dead and Loving It 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 World's Most Pampered Pets 20:00 World's Biggest Pets 21:00 World's 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Under the Dome

The Courier Tuesday TV

August 27

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 00:30 Eastern Promises

08:05 Countryside 999

02:05 Weatherview

08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

02:10 BBC News

09:20 Saints and Scroungers

07:00 Breakfast

10:05 You've Been Scammed

10:15 Heir Hunters

10:35 Supermarket Secrets

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer

11:35 HARDtalk

12:00 Countryside 999

12:00 BBC News

12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

12:30 BBC World News

13:15 Bargain Hunt

13:00 Magnificent Doll

14:00 BBC News; Weather

14:30 The First of the Few

14:30 Regional News and Weather

16:25 Talking Pictures

14:45 Doctors

17:15 A Picture of Britain

15:15 Perfection

18:15 Antiques Roadshow

16:00 Escape to the Country

19:00 Eggheads

16:45 Wanted Down Under

19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets

17:30 Put Your Money Where Your

20:30 Only Connect

Mouth Is

21:00 The Great British Bake Off

18:15 Pointless

22:00 The Midwives

19:00 BBC News

23:00 Family Tree

19:30 Weather

23:30 Newsnight

20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 My Hero

00:55 Rick Stein's German Bite 01:55 This Is BBC Two

00:05 ITV News and Weather 00:19 ITV Meridian Weather 00:20 Benidorm 00:50 The Unforgettable 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Champions League Weekly 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Star Treatment 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Long Lost Family 18:00 Take on the Twisters 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

BORN TO KILL? In October 1970, the bodies of Dr Victor Ohta, his wife Virginia, their two sons and the medic's sec­ retary were found dumped in the swimming pool of their California home. Many believed that a mur­ derous hippie cult was on the rampage, but the killer turned out to be reclusive 24­year­old John Linley Frazier, who believed that he was on a mis­ sion from God. In this programme, eyewitnesses and criminal experts analyse Frazier's motives and personality.

01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Run 02:00 Misfits 02:55 Our Family Wedding 04:40 Three in a Bed 05:35 Celebrity Deal or No Deal 06:30 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:55 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 The Big Bang Theory 11:35 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Undercover Boss Australia 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 14:10 Doctor in Distress 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 Top Boy 23:00 Rude Tube

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Scientists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Ties That Bind 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 NCIS 21:00 Born to Kill?

22:00 CSI: NY 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

August 28

02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 00:35 Paul O'Grady's Working

08:00 Countryside 999

Britain

08:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

01:35 Weatherview

09:15 The A to Z of TV Gardening

01:40 BBC News

10:00 Rick Stein's India

07:00 Breakfast

11:00 Helicopter Heroes Down

10:15 Heir Hunters

Under

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer

11:30 Robbed, Raided, Reunited

12:00 Countryside 999

12:00 BBC News

12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

12:30 BBC World News

13:15 Bargain Hunt

13:00 Tall in the Saddle

14:00 BBC News; Weather

14:25 Fort Apache

14:30 Regional News and Weather

16:30 Talking Pictures

14:45 Doctors

17:15 A Picture of Britain

15:15 Perfection

18:15 Antiques Roadshow

16:00 Escape to the Country

19:00 Eggheads

16:45 Wanted Down Under

19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets

17:30 Put Your Money Where Your

20:30 Only Connect

Mouth Is

21:00 Restoration Home

18:15 Pointless

22:00 Martin Luther King and the

19:00 BBC News

March on Washington

19:30 Weather

23:00 The Culture Show

20:00 The One Show

23:30 Newsnight

21:00 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 The Call Centre

00:20 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip 01:20 Horizon

00:20 01:15 04:00 04:40 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

In Plain Sight Jackpot247 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Star Treatment ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Storage Hoarders Secret Dealers ITV Meridian Weather Long Lost Family Take on the Twisters ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Midsomer Murders ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Great Night Out

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 My Phone Sex Secrets 01:10 Poker 02:10 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:35 Beach Volleyball 03:30 The Grid 04:00 British F3 International Series 04:30 Ironman 2013 04:55 FIA GT 05:50 Deal or No Deal 06:45 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Undercover Boss Australia 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:10 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 14:25 The Ghosts of Berkeley Square 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 How Not to Get Old 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 The Last Leg 23:50 I'm Spazticus

WENTWORTH PRISION

New series. Contemporary reworking of Australian drama Prisoner: Cell Block H, follow­ ing the lives of the inmates and warders of a women's jail. Bea Smith arrives at Wentworth on remand after being charged with the attempted murder of her abusive husband and is quickly persuaded to carry a package of drugs by charis­ matic inmate Franky Doyle, but she is caught with the stash by prison governor Meg Jackson.

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Scientists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Cabin Pressure 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Hotel Inspector 21:00 Nurses 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Wentworth Prison

The Courier Thursday TV

August 29

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 00:35 The League Cup Show 01:40 Weatherview 01:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 DIY SOS

00:35 The Dales 01:00 Jackpot247 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 04:00 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 09:20 The A to Z of TV Gardening 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 10:05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:05 Raymond Blanc: How to Cook 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine Well 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:35 HARDtalk 13:30 Star Treatment 12:00 BBC News 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 BBC World News 14:55 ITV News Meridian 13:00 Magic Town 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Secret Dealers 14:40 Two Rode Together 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 16:25 Talking Pictures 17:00 Long Lost Family 17:15 A Picture of Britain 18:00 Take on the Twisters 19:00 ITV News Meridian 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Eggheads 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 21:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Only Connect 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love 21:00 Dara O Briain's Science Club of Dogs 22:00 Poaching Wars with Tom 22:00 The Men Who Made Us Thin Hardy 23:00 ITV News at Ten and 23:00 Rhod Gilbert's Work Weather Experience 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Syriana 23:30 Weather 08:05 Countryside 999

SYRIANA

23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Who Do You Think You Are?

00:20 The Midwives 01:20 Dara O Briain's Science Club 02:20 Australia with Simon Reeve 03:20 This Is BBC Two

Multi­stranded political thriller about the interna­ tional oil industry starring George Clooney and Matt Damon. Against a background of oil­compa­ ny wheeler­dealing, a jaded CIA field agent begins to question his purpose when he's ordered to assassinate the heir to an oil­rich Middle East country.

00:25 Random Acts 00:30 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 01:25 V Festival 02:20 Shameless USA 03:15 Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis of Evil 04:55 Three in a Bed 05:50 Countdown 06:35 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Will & Grace 09:00 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Undercover Boss Australia 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 14:20 Springfield Rifle 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Burgled 23:00 Derren Brown: Svengali

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Poker 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Scientists 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Rupert Bear 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Animal A&E 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Mystery Woman: Oh Baby 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Animal A&E 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Monster Moves 21:00 The Railway: First Great Western 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 The Man Who Ate Himself to Death

42

Friday, August 23, 2013

BOATS FOR SALE

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

MOORINGS Mooring for sale in Guardamar Marina, de las Dunas. 10m x 3.5m.

Pontoon B. No G5 tax.

19,995€ 965 419 085 / 636 800 371 (130)

ANIMALS Pet Travel UK family pet transporters Spain/UK. Travel with your pet for free.

All air conditioned vehicles (no vans) www.pettraveluk.co.uk UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 678 756 644 (131)

BOATS FOR SALE GC15: 16m Guy Couach motor cruiser, 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, kitchen, lounge/dining area, and fly­ bridge. 2 x Mercedes 350kw diesel motors. 56000 €. Call 966 923 963 or 651 885 200 A57: Rare Vintage 1957 Astondoa Classic Wooden motor launch, 10 m with Perkins diesel engine. All in working order. Needs TLC and re­varnish, great proj­ ect, 6000 €. Call 966 923 963 or 651 885 200 .

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting

AIR CONDITIONING

German / Scandinavian speaking woman 28­45 for friendship or marriage. Call Frankie 634 337 301 manuslaben@gmail.com

PROPERTY FOR RENT

Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.

CommunityChurch@gmail.c om or contact Reverend Eddie on 966769300 or 650509606.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Busy bar/restaurant in San Javier, close to airport, sell­ ing up due to health prob­ lems. Loyal clientele, ideal location. Phone 634362820 for further information.

price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (136) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spa­ cious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata.

CARPENTER

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 CBR32 : 3 bed, 2 bath apart­ ment in Los Montesinos, very spacious 120 m2, fully furnished, with pool on solarium, only 300 € p/m,

FRIENDSHIP Handsome Norwegian Writer 46.

Educated.

Resident in apartment near Torrevieja marina. I’m look­ ing for a humoristic English /

ALARMS

Close to all amenities and beach.

3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart­ ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bed­ room apartment, located near los Locos beach, beau­ tifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The proper­ ty overlooks a superb com­ munal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Brand new 2 bed, furnished/ unfurnished / apartment.

Algorfa town centre, swim­ ming pool, rent €200/225 monthly or yearly advance €2400 + plus bills . 0044­ 7949­589­539 londonan­ gels@hotmail.com (134)

available from beginning September, call now on 966 923 963 CBR31 : Town centre apart­ ment in Los Montesinos, with lift, lock up storeroom on solarium, all amenities nearby, spacious 2 bed 1 bath, 250 € p/m 966 923 963 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bed­ room apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 RS110 : Immaculate detached villa for rent, 2 bedrooms & 2 bathrooms, closed carport for parking on plot, communal pool, no smokers or pets please, viewings from 4 Sept, 450 € pcm. Call 96 692 3963.

CBR27 – Ground floor apartment in closed luxury residential with beautiful communal gardens, pool, 2 beds 1 walk­in shower, redecorated this year. Only 250m walk to beach, inc.parking. 425€ pcm, call 966 923 963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Home and Contents cover ­ Comprehensive policies for house and contents with CASER Seguros ­ excellent prices for expats; policies available in. Call 966 923 963 for a quote.

Butia Espana Are you trapped. Need to sell quick.

We are the only answer for a speedy sale.UK buyers wait­ ing. www.butiaespana.com Telephone 0800 612 7514 or Spain 678 756 644 (131)

BARBER CAR HIRE

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­ prehensive policies at the

CATERING

CLEANERS

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Friday, August 23, 2013 Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing RS80 : Spanish style town­ house in Algorfa, totally reformed and redecorated, 110m2, 3 lrg.bedrooms, 1 bathroom, many extras, absolute bargain at 99,500 €, call now on 966 923 963 for no obligation viewing.

Ref: 510, €70,000.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the super­ markets, bars and restau­ rants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms

Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur­ bished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apartment in San Luis. Great sea and

CAR BREAKERS

lake views. 55.000 €. Tel. 966 923 963 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the

Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Ref: 520, €80,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream

Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath­ roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi­ or furnishings are top quali­ ty, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in show­ er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom duplex located in the popu­ lar area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with dou­

ble shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apart­ ment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities includ­ ing the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bed­ rooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium.

Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant.

Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155

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Friday, August 23, 2013

Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The prop­ erty is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, com­ munal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc.

The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galle­ ria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled ter­ race. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bed­ roomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof­ top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst

also overlooking the project­ ed 18 hole golf course.

Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, inter­ com system, fireplace, ceil­ ings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly compris­ ing of 3 bedrooms, 3 bath­ rooms, Lounge Diner, inde­ pendent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furni­ ture and appliances includ­ ed in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irri­ gation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbaniza­ tion offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 dou­ ble beds with balconies, 2

MAN AND A VAN

bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Limited edition bungalow. Only six of this type available in Gran Alacant. Constructed in 2003 and immaculately maintained on a large plot size of 500m2 with a 10 x 5 pool.Comprising of 3 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner leading out onto front porch, independ­ ent kitchen including white goods, outside galleria, court yard, large garage with electric door, roof top solari­ um and private parking. Also built in wardrobes, Toldos blinds, air con H/C, security grills, alarm, security doors, bathrooms heaters, outside toilet, outdoor lighting, irriga­ tion system, attractive and well kept gardens, beautiful­ ly tiled inside and out, fire place, English TV, phone line. Being sold with top quality furniture. ref L95. €275,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbaniza­ tion offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 dou­ ble beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can

easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge­Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park.

Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant beautiful detached villa with very large pool and within walk­ ing distance to the Gran Alacant Commercial Centre.

This villa comprised of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner, Independent kitchen, roof top storage, solarium, porch & terrace.

Large private pool, BBQ area, established gardens and private terraces, Private Parking, Solarium with Views to Alicante. 450m2 plot, fully furnished including white goods. Located in very quiet desirable road. ref.L96. €255,000 Tel 680333242

PETS

Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very pri­ vate and un­overlooked.

Comprising of 2 large bed­ rooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well main­ tained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor work­ shop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Rare invest­ ment!! corner south facing opportunity on Novamar urbanisation.This immacu­ late ground floor duplex has been kept and maintained to a very high standard inside and out the position is fan­ tastic, enjoys views over the lovely oasis communal pool, surrounded by lawned gar­ dens. Comprising of plot size 100m2 Build Size 90m2, 2 bedrooms, 2 bath­ rooms, fully furnished, Anti­ Glare Windows, Security Door, Security Grills, Built­in Wardrobes, Extra Storage, Galleria, Electric Panel Heaters, Heated Towel Rails, Air Con (h&c), Ceiling.

Fans. Thermo Shower, Vanity Units and decorative­ ly tiled throughout, exquisite garden, Underground pri­ vate parking.

Ref.K10 €139,000 Tel 680333242

Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local ameni­ ties such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach.

Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof­top solari­ um. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large deco­ rative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet loca­ tion in Gran Alacant.

Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes every­ thing. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Gran Alacant detached villa with converted under build and pool. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge­ Diner, Front Porch, Large Solarium, decorative­ ly tiled, Irrigated Garden.

BBQ and Log Storage Cupboard. Raised walls for Privacy. Also many extras, toldos blinds, freshly deco­ rated interior, Grills, Mosquito Nets, Air Con H/C, Ceiling Fans, Log Burner Fire, Electric Radiators, Heated Towel Rails, Alarmed, Phone Line, Satellite UK TV, private parking. Plot size 310m2 under build 100m2. price includes all furniture.The under build consists of 2 beds, lounge, kit/utility room. ref L79. €250,000 Tel. 680333242

PERSONAL

POOL TABLES

PLUMBERS

POOLS

DAMP PROOFING

DRAINAGE

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Friday, August 23, 2013 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bed­ rooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceil­ ing fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk­in shower, fitted wardrobes.

Decorative tiling inside and out.

Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, estab­ lished gardens, water fea­ tures and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods.

Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms,

Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and

SURVEYOR

STORAGE

bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantas­ tic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with

front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever con­ structed­ Very large 5 bed­ rooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­ suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys­ tem and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low mainte­ nance very private gardens with irrigation system, elec­ tronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower,

RAG AND BONE

terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section.

Within easy walking dis­ tance to Gran Alacant com­ mercial centre and close to local bus and tram route.

Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gar­ dens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

REMOVALS

REMOVALS

VAN HIRE

WARDROBES

Move It Now Small removals and deliveries.

Spain/UK Budget prices.

Last minute jobs undertak­ en. www.moveitnow.co.uk Telephone UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 678 756 644 (131)

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Medaesthetics require a Beautician. Must have NVQ Level 3 and working self employed email cv to sabinebrooks@hotmail.com

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

46

Friday, August 23, 2013

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

CHARLEY CONQUERS COLORADO

I was going to write this week about the story going around that the PGA Tour is going to buy the European Tour, but with Europe’s historic win over the USA in The Solheim Cup and the young lady who calmly walked the fair­ ways in Colorado, I can instead shout:­ “Yes! Charley is my darling!”

Charley Hull has literally become an overnight British sporting star, after being a total unknown unless you were an aficionado of the women’s game. This week’s return to UK shores from the States has seen her cement her place as somebody to be reckoned with the game, and is also a big boost in broad­ ening British interest beyond a narrow golfing circle.

There’s no doubt that she’ll be in need of some PR help and guidance as her non­ golfing demands will increase very quickly! I can’t believe that it was just two years ago that I was asked to find a winter golf venue here, for her and her Dad, so that she could practice her game, but no one was interested.

What a missed opportunity!

Now she spends her winters in Florida.

Charley is just 17 and when called upon, she deliv­ ered the goods and rose to every challenge and question that the United States asked of her, in a Solheim Cup con­ test that turned increasingly intuitive as Europe did some­ thing that they never done before, which was to retain the trophy! Charley only turned professional this year and has been a revelation in the women's game, posting five successive runner­up fin­ ishes on her debut on the Ladies European Tour. She functions without blinking under the greatest pressure.

That’s one of the amazing things about this

Northamptonshire teenager who just appeared to enjoy and thrive on the tension of the Solheim Cup, yet with her looks, Charley at a first glance ought to be getting ready to take some exams, or earn some extra cash doing some babysitting! With her dad, Dave, being a plas­ terer, her background is a million miles away from the breeding grounds of most golf stars, but she looked as cool as a cucumber in Colorado! Perhaps, the British game may at last have a long awaited replace­ ment for the much­missed high profile Laura Davies?

Hull doesn’t have a spon­ sor. Not one. It is by choice.

Intriguingly, she has actually turned down endorsements this year, informing her agent she doesn’t want the commit­ ments of sponsors’ days and the like. She just wants to concentrate of the golf. Her father Dave said: “Sponsors can take so much of your

TITTER ON THE TEE Three friends were playing their regular Saturday morn­ ing round of golf. They were joined on the 1st tee by a stranger who proceeded to hook his drive into the bush­ es. The stranger and his lady caddy went to look for the ball while the other three waited on the fairway.

After about five minutes when the golfer and the caddy failed to reappear, the three others went in search of them only to find the golfer performing sex on the caddy.

"Get away from there, you nasty fellow,” the three shout­ ed.

"Please, please, you don't understand," said the caddy, "when we came into the bushes, he suffered a heart attack and I was only trying to revive him."

"But that's not how you revive someone when they suf­ fer a heart attack," shouted the three others, "You have to give the person mouth­to­mouth resuscitation."

"I know," retorted the caddy, "How the hell do you think this started?"

lady and seemed to know where she was going to be from an early age. Her father Dave Hull, a successful plas­ terer, had introduced his youngest daughter to the of match play, and says “it’s game at the age of two and just golf”, as she keeps by the time she had decided determined to embrace the on her career choice, he was heat of competition and to probably aware that she had enjoy the time. It could be what it takes. Charley has Poulter talking himself, albeit established herself at the with a softer, less hyper high end of the European edge. But then, Europe’s Tour with such haste that greatest Ryder Cup weapon players such as Laura advised Charley how she Davies are saying that her should behave in the team talent should be allowed to environment: ­ “Be respect­ grow and prosper in the ful but ruthless.” Now, this American top league. She’s may sound a slightly not sure if she wants to live bizarre statement to golf full­time in the States, as she fans who recall Poulter’s likes it in the small eye­popping, fist­pump­ Northamptonshire town of ing celebrations in Burton Latimer. At the Medinah, but this is moment she just travels still wise judg­ around with her dad and is ment on Poulter’s enjoying it. The rules say she behalf. has to be accompanied by an As is his strategy adult until she hits 18, which in the head­to­head is next March, and for the time up and Charley just e n j o y ­ format, Ian told her moment, off­course matters wants to play golf at this age. ment of always to be on her are of no interest to her.

When she’s older, it will be spending her win­ Just three weeks ago, she guard, and that you can different but for now we just nings on designer never believe your oppo­ claims she was “chilled” want to keep it simple. I don’t labels.

Like nent is out of a hole, when it came to Solheim want to ruin her golf for the Poulter, Hull does never mind a game, or a selection time. Hull had sake of the other stuff.” not do intimidated match. Or for that matter missed the cut at the British Laudable though that is, it is and like Poulter, believe that you are Women’s Open at St a position she cannot sustain Hull does not beaten. Match play can Andrews and the word was for long. Charley Hull is understand why captain Liselotte change really quickly that already the most compelling Europe did feel Neumann might think that and Ian’s been an inspi­ story in what was rapidly anything other than ration to her. His fantas­ she was not ready. That developing into a historic confident in the tic, positive mindset is seems a long time ago, as tale. three­day biennial how he’s got to where he the youngest ever Solhiem Charley has more in com­ dust­up. She rel­ is., and she obviously lis­ Cup player whacked some of mon with Ian Poulter than ishes the tened to what he’s said. golf’s strongest lady players just being a member of “ a g g r e s ­ She has been astute including Paula Creamer.

Woburn Golf Club and an siveness” enough to take advice, When asked about her not only from Poulter and Solhiem experience, Charley Tony Jacklin – another Ryder said it was “wicked”, and Cup legend – but from after her singles win, she QUESTION Catriona Matthew, her major­ showed her down to earth While playing in a tournament, a player in the group hits his winning Scottish team­mate, spirit by asking Creamer to ball into an overgrown area. Thinking the ball may be lost he in order to prepare for her to sign her golf ball for a friend! declares and hits a provisional. He then finds his original ball reward herself if Europe pre­ For me, it was great to see in a bush and declares it unplayable. Then he proceeds to vailed for the first time on such a level headed and American soil, although per­ remarkable golfing talent, play the provisional. Since he found the original ball, haps not in the manner to who I am sure we are going Should he have:­ 1. Taken relief within 2 club lengths of the ball not nearer which Poulter has become to hear more about as the years roll on. Pity we couldn’t accustomed! the hole.

She is a remarkable young have seen her here!

2. Taken relief in line of the hole back as far as he wanted.

3. Or gone back to the teeing ground and played another ball. The provisional ball should not have been played. Is this correct?

ANSWER Yes it is correct. By playing the provisional (only to be used for a ball lost or out of bounds) he played a "wrong ball" and did not have a score for the hole. In an individual stroke play event, he would be disqualified; in match play he would lose the hole.

KNOW YOUR RULES

47

Friday, August 23, 2013

ARSENE, ARSENAL AND THE AST

THE Gunners official fan club, the Arsenal Supporters Trust want Arsene out.

Reported to have a war chest of £154 million at the end of last season, when they finished fourth to doubly hurt nasty­ neighbours Tottenham, Arsenal were emphati­ cally expected to flash the cash in the close season. But they’ve actually spent – zilch, zippo, nada ­ and their very powerful fanbase, the AST, don’t like it.

Only one free transfer has arrived, where­

as other big names like Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie have long since gone, frustrated at the lack of sil­ verware. Arsenal’s success­ ful manager since 1996 Arsene Wenger’s contract runs out in May 2014, and many do not want it renewed.

Time for a change, they say – and they’ve got a case.

Matters were sharply brought into focus last Saturday on the first day of the new season. All would have been OK – probably ­ if Arsene’s existing Gunners had beaten their rude claret and blue guests from Birmingham at the expectant Emirates. But they didn’t, losing abject­ ly in the end, with only ten men on the

Emirates. The £154 million is more than the rest of the Prem’s clubs savings put together, but they’re all still buying for improvement and survival. Ticket prices at The field after yet another send­ Fergie and Arsene were bat­ Emirates are said to be as ing off (N.B. good pub quiz tling it out verbally, with astronomically high as any­ question: did you know Keano and Viera doing it where in the world, but Arsenal hold the dubious lux­ physically on the pitch? Ten American owner Stan Kroeke ury of holding the record for years on, the weary lines in – sounds like someone out of Premierships sending­offs: a Arsene’s physog tell their ‘Guys and Dolls’ – hardly fiery 64?). After an early own story as its Chelski and attends matches and Giroud goal, that big barn­ Man City that are United’s appears disinterested. The storming bully Benteke sworn enemies today. Sorry real fans want action, man – unChristianly set about to have to point this out, and soon, Stan. assaying Arsenals dodgy Gooners (that’s an Ardent Yeah, alright, so the lads defence, so much so that on Arsenal Appreciator, btw). did it on Wednesday, 3 – 0 in MOTD, Alan Shearer But it’s 2005 since Arsenal Istanbul against troubled described the Gunners per­ won anything, the FA Cup Fenerbahce in the formance as ‘terrible’, and then ­ and even relegated Champions League qualifica­ particularly their once­mighty Wigan can do that. tion play­off first leg – yawn. defence as ‘sloppy’.

Why hasn’t Arsen bought It’s not the prestigious Prem Hmm...the club’s defensive some talent? Surely there’s though, is it? The Turkish coach and assistant to enough of it about, look at side are in big trouble with Wenger is Steve Bould, once City and rivals Spurs! It match­fixing allegations. one of the Gunners greatest always hurts Arsenal more Back on Planet Earth, this back four: If they’re ‘sloppy’ when Tottenham are trum­ on day one of a new season, peting: ­ they’re now buying Saturday the Gunners have what’s Steve been doing with desirables like Soldado from a tricky test at Craven them in pre­season? He Valencia, the Brazilian Cottage against a frothy should be the first to go.

Paulinho, and Chadli from Fulham side jubilant from Do you remember just Belgium. God forbid Arsene their win at The Stadium of after t’ millennium when buys Suarez, but he can Light. If you lose that, Arsenal were rivalling Man U afford him, financially if not Arsene, the anus (sic) will at the top of the Prem? desirably to many at the really be on you.

ELCHE EXPOSED TORREVIEJA’S BIG

Two goals conceded before half­time gave Elche a baptism of fire in their return to La Liga after 24 years, which saw them comfort­ ably beaten 3­0 at Rayo Vallecano in Madrid on Monday night.

New signing Alberto Bueno got the opening goal for Rayo after 40 minutes, Alberto Perea doubled the lead right on the stroke of half­time with a sensational strike, and Bueno wrapped up the points by adding the third with 16 minutes to go.

Elche just didn’t really get into the game and could barely get hold of, let alone control the ball, as Rayo dominated. Elche’s only first half chance saw Aaron Niguez screwing just wide of the post following a cut­back.

Elche were unable to bounce back from the two goals after half­time, creating just one real opening, a shot from Ferran Coro from a tight angle which Rayo goalkeeper

David Cobeno managed to push wide.

Most pundits predicted that one of Elche’s big problems for the season would be a lack of firepower, and that was cruelly exposed on Monday night, but with defensive problems as well, it looks like being a long and tough campaign to stay in the top flight.

Coach Fran Escribá pulled no punches saying the team performance was bad. “We were not good and that’s it.

We lacked intensity, and we will have to try harder”.

Elche’s first home match is tomorrow night (Saturday) against Sociedad with a 7.00pm kick­off.

Elsewhere in the first round of La Liga matches, the headlines were made by Barcelona who destroyed Levante 7­0, with the champions 5 goals to the good at the interval. Real Madrid came from behind to beat Betis, 2­1.

KICK OFF

ALL TO PLAY FOR

Brazilian Neymar scored his first competi­ tive goal for Barcelona as they drew 1­1 with Atletico Madrid in the first leg of the Super Cup on Wednesday night.

Atletico led after a stunning move was expertly volleyed home by ex­Barcelona man David Villa, who moved to the Vicente Calderon during the summer.

Barcelona striker Lionel Messi was replaced at half­time by Cesc Fabregas with a thigh injury. And fellow substitute Neymar rose highest to power in an away goal.

The sides play the second leg at the Nou Camp on this Wednesday (August 28th).

The wait is almost over for FC Torrevieja as they get ready for the start of their new league season this Sunday, as they entertain La Nucia with a 6.30pm kick­off. The club will also return to the Vicente Garcia Stadium for their Third Division, Group Six campaign, after extensive work has been done on returning the playing surface to a high stan­ dard.

The team’s final pre­season friendly saw them record a 1­nil win at Thader last Saturday night, with one of the new signings, Alberto scoring a first­half penalty. The 26 year old will be up against his former side in

Sunday’s league opener.

Meanwhile the conveyor belt from m a n a g e r Carmona’s old club of Almoradi contin­ ues to move in Torrevieja’s direc­ tion with the sign­ ing of 26­year­old Cameroon striker, Francois Obele Mvondo, known as "Obele".

He scored 13 goals in 25 outings last sea­ son.

Friday, August 23, 2013

48

BATTLE AT THE BRIDGE! CHANCERS CHELSEA CHEAT TO LEAD THE PREM

Because Chelsea are involved in the ‘SuperCup’ (?) against Bayern Munich ­ their scheduled home league game with Aston Villa was brought forward last Wednesday, giving Mourinho’s men the means to earn an early lead in the Premiership. The reality was a hard­pressed, narrow 2 – 1 win over the lively lads that took Arsenal apart on Saturday, with powerful Christian Benteke leading Lambert’s lions. The big striker’s equaliser on the stroke of half­time was his third in two games, and 17th in 2013, but was then elbowed in the face by Branislav Ivanovic who somehow got away with a yellow card:­ the Serbian immediately going from villain to victor by scoring an offside winner. In injury time, John Terry clearly han­ dled a Villa cross, the penalty denied to leave the Midlanders mightily miffed. Although Chelsea now lead the Prem with six points from two games, the Blues don’t yet look convincing.

Arsenal apart, the big kick­off was all too predictable last weekend: ­ mighty Man Utd won Saturday against

John McGregor reports

spluttering Swansea, Chelski chugged past hapless Hull on Sunday, and Man City murdered Newcastle on Monday. Newbies three all lost: Cardiff were wasted at West Ham, Hull bruised at the Bridge, and Crystal Palace savaged by a solitary Soldado penalty for Spurs. Palace’s prize pillock Ian Holloway soon got himself in FA hot water – no change there, then – by spouting off about the unfairness of it all.

Suarez­less Liverpool (nice­but­naughty­but­nice touch touting your tot around, Luis) got off to a wobbly win against stuttering Stoke. Did you see Walters’ penalty miss? The whole world knew where it was going, hasn’t he missed his last five? Mark my words, there must be a better penalty­taker at the club? Best laugh was little Philippe Coutinho squaring up to Ryan Shawcross, touch of David and Goliath there. Still, the Reds did better than the Blues, but what a cracker between Norwich and Everton, 2 – 2 at Carrow Road.

Take note of two of the goalscorers, one from each side. 19 year old Ross Barkley appears prize potential for the Toffees with his cracking left­footed equaliser to cancel out Stephen Whittaker’s terrific Canaries opener, but the last word rightly went to new signing, with that great name to remember ­ Ricky van Wolfswinkel ­ who was determined to mark his debut

as he nodded in Norwich’s equaliser on his debut. Nice lad, terrible haircut.

Hair? Did you see potty Paolo di Canio’s leary side­ boards? Is that the new Italian style? Having shaved off half of last season’s staff, PP’s five new signings struggled at the Stadium of Light, and it was Fulham who filched it 1 – 0. That wasn’t in the script, but clearly in it are the Black Cats next fixtures: Arsenal, Liverpool, Man Utd and Spurs ­ keep your hair on, Paolo. Still, the Black Cats weren’t clawed as badly as nuked neighbours Newcastle, 4 – 0 by Man City: now Magpies midfield maestro Philip Cabaye wants away, man, the Tynesiders will be in big trouble soon if the circus doesn’t leave town.

The pick of the weekend’s games looks like all­action Aston Villa v Luisless Liverpool. Cardiff’ve got marauding Man City at home on Sunday, big Edin Dzecko looks a new man, with flying winger Jesus Navas giving the Blues untold opportunities from the right wing. But champions Man United still look the part: Vidic looks back to his imperious best, and as for Robin van Persie and Danny Welbeck, well. Hey, that subdued sub they brought on, Rooney looks promis­ ing: Chelsea’s Monday’s visit to Old Trafford will tell us much.