Week 158

Edition 158

www.thecourier.es

Friday, February 28, 2014

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

Bullish Rajoy in economic boost

By ALEX TRELINSKI More jobs and lower taxes were promised by the Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, during a big debate in the Spanish Parliament which focused on the state of the economy.

With a General Election taking place before the end of next year, Rajoy pledged to scrap income tax for the less well off in 2015, and increased the predictions of economic growth. The Spanish leader’s speech seemed to go down well with the voters, with two national opinion polls rating him and the ruling Partido Popular comfortably ahead of his Socialist rival, Alfredo Rubalcaba, based on their performanc­ es in the chamber this week.

The Prime Minister said that Spain had turned a corner and was "part of the driving engine" of Europe, adding that economic growth forecasts for this year have been up­rated to 1% and to 1.5% for 2015. Rajoy claimed that the recession was over and that the emphasis would be on “positive” growth.

Rajoy also pledged to slash tax, promising that taxpayers earning under 12 thousand Euros would not have to pay income tax from 2015, irrespective of whether or not they have dependent

children. The minimum taxable thresh­ old is to be increased for the disabled and those with dependent children, and Rajoy pledged additional aid for low­ income families – although he was 'unable' to give any further details.

People earning 20 thousand Euros would also get a reduction, which apparently means that 12 million of Spain’s 17 million taxpayers will see more money in their pockets. Some economists commented that there was little difference between Rajoy’s pro­ posals and the actual tax structure, as

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currently workers who earn 11,162 Euros a year don’t have to pay taxes.

“About 97 percent of the workers who earn 12,000 Euros a year already don’t pay taxes and the rest pay less than 300 Euros,” said Santiago Díaz de Sarralde, an economics professor at King Juan Carlos University.

In other measures, contracts for new staff at all firms will carry a flat rate of 100 Euros a month in Social Security payments made by the employer on

Continued on page 2

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Friday, February 28, 2014

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Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Caught at river segura last year 7, 1/2lb Photo by RYNO THE CARP CATCHER

Happy days are here again NICE GUITAR

From page 1

behalf of the employee. This type of con­ tract will only be available for companies taking on extra staff and expanding their payroll, not replacing those who have left, in order to prevent unscrupulous bosses from finding reasons to fire existing employees so that they can substitute them with new ones and therefore pay lower Social Security contributions. The 100 Euro a month Social Security tariff will continue for the first two years of the new staff member's time with the firm, provided the contract is a fixed, or 'indefinite' one rather than for a temporary placement. Bosses must keep each of these employees on for a minimum of three years, or they will have to refund the extra Social Security they would normally have paid.

Rajoy was heavily criticised for avoiding mentioning, or empathising with the growing number of people living in poverty, or those no longer entitled to state healthcare. Verbal sparks flew throughout the congress, with

opposition leader Alfredo Rubalcaba asking the Prime Minister, “Mr Rajoy, which country do you actually live in?”

“Never has there been a government in the history of democracy that has tried to destroy equality as your government, Mr Rajoy,” said Rubalcaba. The Socialist leader said that pensioners, workers and even the unemployed have seen their wages and benefits cut.

Rajoy retorted to Rubalcaba: “Well, you're not exactly flavour of the month.” Cayo Lara, of the Plural Left coalition, said Rajoy’s vic­ torious demeanour over the economy was “deeply embarrassing.”

The opinion poll in the newspaper, El Mundo showed that Rajoy outperformed Rubalcaba, with some 32.4% giving Rajoy the edge as opposed to 26.8% favouring the opposition leader. Results were much closer in El País, with a total of 27% saying the Spanish leader had won the debate, only 2 points ahead of the score notched up by Rubalcaba.

IT’S A FAIR COPPER

A car carrying a large 300 kilo haul of copper wire was left abandoned in the Pilar de la Horadada area after a local police patrol approached a sus­ picious vehicle on the Lo Romero Golf resort in the early hours of last Friday morning. Cops found rolls of copper wire that was identical to those used in the resort, with dam­ age reported to street lights and cov­ ers around the area.

A Cantabria politician had his mind on other business rather than his regional parliamentary session as he was caught thumbing his way through a magazine full of nude female photos. Ex­Cantabria president, Miguel Revilla, was caught on camera looking at steamy pictures of a transsexu­ al in the Intervíu magazine, though Revila claimed that he had asked his secretary to buy the publication so that he could read an article about a former boss of the Caja Madrid bank. "I've committed no crime,” he fumed.

NEARLY 2 THOUSAND A LETTER

The new name of Alicante­Elche is now emblazoned on the side of the airport at El Altet. Airport owner, AENA, fin­ ished the work which cost just under 25 thousand Euros which was paid for by donations from companies in the Elche area.

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What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

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Friday Cloudy High 18 Low 12° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 23 Low 10° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 20° Low 9° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Cloudy & windy High 20° Low 14° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 21° Low 12° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Partly cloudy High 24° Low 13° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Sunny High 21° Low 11° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, February 28, 2014

Tourist gang caught Police have smashed a Romanian­led gang that would steal from tourist cars in a corridor stretching down the Mediterranean coast around the AP7 motorway.

The National Police say that 15 Romanians and a Spaniard have been accused of 18 robberies at service areas and shopping malls along the route through the Valencia and Murcia regions, as well as Catalonia and Andalucia. The gang would not hesitate to resort to violence and in one case they beat up a woman who then miscarried her unborn child.

The police dragnet against the gang

began last autumn, with a series of arrests across the country, including Murcia and Alicante. The final batch of arrests were made in Alicante City, with cops seizing a large variety of items and money from their homes.

WEEVILS PULPED

299 palm trees by the River Segura infect­ ed by the dreaded red weevil disease are being given the heave­ho in the Orihuela region, with heavy brushcutter machinery being brought in this week to get rid of the poi­ soned growths, along with the worms inside them. The infected palms and their unwel­ come occupants are ground into pulp in a matter of seconds, with the resulting organic matter able to be safely reintegrated into the local soil. The Phoenix palms have been most affected with around 900 still healthy in the River Segura area, with the Orihuela council planning to pay for the replacement of those that they’ve had to destroy.

BLUE BADGES

Motorists looking for a dis­ abled parking space in Torrevieja, will soon be able to go on­line to find out where they are all located. The coun­ cil website, www.torrevieja.es will shortly have a new inter­ active map showing all the European blue badge spaces, which currently stand at 193, with 37 new ones having been introduced over the last 18 months. The council have added that there will soon be a change of address for renew­ ing and applying for the European disabled

parking permits, with the office moving from the Local Police HQ to the Social Welfare building on C/Torrevejenses Ausentes.

IT’S A FIX Torrevieja police say that bars and clubs are breaking the rules on noise by fiddling with their sound limiter devices. The local cops claim that are around 50 limiters that have been put in to venues around the area, and that they plan to check every single device before the Easter holiday season kicks in. Local police chief Vicente Gutiérrez said that his force get a high number of calls on a daily basis about noise coming from bars, though he would not say whether any prosecu­ tions were pending.

Fuel poverty rife Murcia, along with Andalucia, are the two Spanish regions which suffer the most from energy and fuel poverty. They have the largest number of families that have found it close to impossible to keep their homes warm during the winter according to the National Institute of Statistics (INE). They say that some 3 million homes in Spain have been “cold” during the last few months, which accounts for some 31% of properties in the country. Many families are said to have resorted to paying their mortgages which have left no money to pay for electric heating and they have switched to gas bot­ tles as opposed to using electricity. When a bottle has run out, they go without heat and use cold water for washing until they save up enough money to get another bottle.

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JACARILLA JOY The small town of Jacarilla, lying between Bigastro and Benejuzar is in the big time money, after some 80 families shared a national lottery prize of 7 million Euros. It’s all come as a big boost to a population affected badly by the econom­ ic crisis, and the tickets were sold at a bakery on Valencia Street owned by Fini Ortuño who as President of the local con­ fridia (brotherhood) of Our Father of Jesus of Nazareth, will use her 60 thou­ sand Euro share to find a new headquar­ ters for her organisation. She told the Informacion newspaper that she got a call on Saturday lunchtime from a lottery represen­ tative in Almoradi to say that the numbers

that she sold had come up trumps, and with­ in minutes the bakery was awash with cham­ pagne bottles and lots of happy winners.

Don’t stop the carnival

Over 30 floats took part in last Sunday’s Torrevieja Carnival parade, with a repeat performance sched­ uled for this Sunday (March 2nd). Local groups took part, as well those for the first time from further afield from places in the Murcia region like Santiago de la Ribera.

Prizes for the best floats were awarded afterwards at the Teatro Municipal.

Don’t carry on cabby

Licensed taxi drivers operating out of Alicante­Elche airport have once again said “enough is enough” over pirate and unli­ censed taxis, and are set for a protest strike for the second week of March. The Elche drivers say they’re angry that nothing has been done to stop clandestine operators muscling in on their turf, despite promises of new control barriers and a clamp­down on unauthorised taxis.

82 licensed Elche drivers operate out of El Altet during the winter months and they say they have spotted up to 80 illegal operators a day, of which they describe 30 as “foreign”.

The drivers say that promises have not been kept from last December to introduce a new barrier as well as added security to check that no pirates were using the area. They had given a deadline of March for their demands to be met, or else they would go on

strike. Drivers at Malaga Airport staged a protest strike last week, and there’s talk of taxi operators staging some kind of co­ordi­ nated national action which could cause chaos come the height of the summer high season. Last year, angry Elche cabbies (pic­ tured) confronted people who they believed were breaking the law and undermining their income.

HIGH-TECH ALMORADI If you live in the Almoradi area and are fed up of going to the Town Hall to get a padron renewal, then there’s some good news for you, as the council has launched a new on­ line site to make things easier across a range of services. Many council documents

have been digitalised since 2010 to cut down on paper, and New Technology provincial deputy, Adrian Ballester and Almoradi coun­ cillor, Maria Gomez, formally launched the website this week. It can be accessed at: almoradi.sedeelectronica.es.

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Taps of trouble FUN IN SAN Park shows off Work on improving the quality of the drinking water in the Las Filipinas/Blue Lagoon area of San Miguel isn’t progressing fast enough according to the San Miguel Archangel Neighbourhood Association. They claim the company awarded the con­ tract to provide water in the area over two years ago is well behind the schedule that they promised at the start of their franchise period.

PETS PARADISE The Orihuela Costa has unveiled its first dog park as part of a 10 thousand Euro improvement package at La Florida Park on Calle Aries in La Florida. A new children’s playground has been built along with improved sports facilities, whilst dogs have a fenced in area that they can play in, with special equip­ ment along with dispensers for owners to pick up their pet’s mess.

PEDRO

The streets of San Pedro del Pinatar will host the annual carni­ val this weekend, with the fun start­ ing on Saturday morning with a children’s parade which begins at the Plaza de la Constitucion at 11am. The main carnival parade will be on Sunday, with councillor Silvia Egea(pictured) telling reporters that with over 700 people taking part, it will be bigger and better than

Santa Pola’s Natural Park of the Salinas will see a number of special events during March showing off what has it offer both tourists and conservationists alike. There’ll be special activities backed by the Valencian Regional government, including bird watching sessions and fishing tours.

ever. The procession will start at 5.00pm in the car park at Parque Condesa Villar de Felices, ending up at the tented area of the Esplanade in Lo Pagan.

Great nurses, but for how long?

TRAM CRASH

EXPERT DIES

An expert climber in his sixties from Benejúzar died on the Sierra de Redován last Friday evening (Feb 21st), when he fell from a height of 100 metres at around 7.00pm. The res­ cue operation continued well into the night before his body was recovered. Antonio Sánchez Gutiérrez 'El Tono', was a well­known popular sporting figure who played handball in Benejúzar, Rojales, and Torrevieja.

Burglar nabbed

A 22 year old Spaniard has been arrested on suspicion of robbing at least 29 homes in the Acequión area of Torrevieja.

The Guardia Civil got their man after several months of inquiries, and discovered some 50 stolen items in his house, though they believe that many others would have been already sold off.

A man in his 80’s was injured on Sunday when his car col­ lided with a tram in the Garbinet area of Alicante City. It appeared his vehicle jumped a red light, and the 87 year old was trapped because his door was jammed, until firefighters prised it open. He was not seriously hurt but did suffer a neck injury.

Rice man cometh

MADRID’S MEGA REFUND

The Spanish government has been left with a massive bill of 13 billion Euros after an illegal health tax, known as the céntimo sanitaria(the health cent) had been charged on fuel at petrol pumps around the country. The European Court of Justice said that the tax raised by regional governments, including those in Valencia and Murcia, was nothing to do with improving the environment and therefore broke European Union rules on special taxes. The law was changed at the start of last year to bring into line with what the EU wanted, but Madrid has now been presented with a demand for the tax to be re­funded.

The case came from a Catalan legal suit filed by a trans­ port company that said that EU laws were broken with the regional court handing over the matter to the European Court of Justice. The ruling doesn’t mention how the taxes raised between 2002 and 2011should be refunded, though in theory anybody could ask for their money back, but would need receipts to be able to start the process.

Finance Minister Cristóbal Montoro said Spain had con­ sulted with the European Commission before imposing the tax, but had no choice but to heed the ruling of the court. He said the government would have to analyse the potential impact on its finances.

If you love rice dishes, then Torrevieja is laying on a series of treats across 26 bars and restaurants for a week starting this Monday March 3rd. Special menus are going to be offered which start at 20 Euros for 3 courses, with Torrevieja’s Tourism Minister, Luis María Pizana saying that the showcase will allow the area to display something that is unique in the whole of Alicante Province. The menus and all the prices are available via: ­ www.torreviejagastronomica.com

OPEN FOR A TIME

A key road between the Orihuela Costa and Orihuela City has re­opened after work on the AVE high speed train link in the area was finished for the time being. The CV95 under­ pass had been closed since January, causing problems for drivers coming from areas like Bigastro and Hurchillo, as well as further away. The down­side is that the underpass is set to be shut again this summer for the next stage of AVE work to be concluded.

Spain has some of the best nursing care in Europe accord­ ing to the British medical magazine, The Lancet, but the Spanish nurses are also amongst the most stressed out! The country has 12.7 nurses per patient which is the highest among the nine countries looked at in the study, but Spanish spending cuts are said to have added to their pressures, with their workload being increased as numbers in the profession are falling. Some 20,000 nurses have lost their jobs in recent years because of spending cuts, with many leaving the coun­ try to try to find work. Around 5 thousand Spanish nurses are thought to be working in Germany according to the nursing union SATSE.

Spick and span

Guardamar’s Alfonso XIII park has been given an early spring clean ahead of the Easter season with repairs and improvements being done over the last week. Extensive pruning of many trees has happened, along with the cutters being taken to some 40 eucalyptus trees and their large branches.

Night cover

Night time emergency cover is to return to the Bigastro Health Centre from tomorrow (March 1st), with people in Jacarilla and Benejúzar also being covered from there in off­ peak times. In other developments in the Vega Baja, Almoradi’s 24 hour emergency service is being restored with greater resourcing, which means that full weekday medical services will return to Daya Nueva, as doctors are no longer needed to provide cover in Almoradi.

TREMOR

A series of mini­quakes hit the Costa Blanca last week­ end with the latest tremor being reported off the Santa Pola coast on Tuesday afternoon, which hit 3.2 on the Richter scale.

Friday, February 28, 2014

PILED HIGH

Torrevieja Mayor, Eduardo Dolón says he’s shocked by a national report that claimed that bodies set for Torrevieja crematorium were stored in a garage. The story in last Friday’s El Mundo newspa­ per claimed that the Valencian Government and a local court had received information about what was going on with

the crematorium which had been using a garage to keep some of the bod­ ies when the viewing rooms were full to capaci­ ty. A Torrevieja court is carrying out an inquiry whilst Dolón says he has called in the Valencian health authorities to inves­ tigate as well as the Orihuela Public Health Director.

FRANCO FAVOURITE RE-OPENS

A famous Murcia region hotel, which was used as a holiday home by dictator General Franco in the sixties, is to re­open its doors in April, in time for the Easter season. The Cenajo Hotel near inland Moratalla and Caravaca has been a favourite weekend get­ away for expats and has been refurbished offering 120 beds for visitors wanting a enjoy a break in natural surroundings.

“NOT GUILTY” BARCA PAY UP

Barcelona have paid 13.5 million Euros to the Spanish tax authorities after being charged with tax fraud over the signing of Brazilian striker, Neymar. Despite their actions, the La Liga champions have insist­ ed they had not committed any offence.

"The aim is to cover eventual interpreta­ tions that could be given to the contracts drawn up in the operation to sign Neymar," according to a club statement.

Nevertheless, they strongly denied any wrongdoing, insisting: "We remain con­ vinced that the original tax payment was in line with our fiscal obligations."

State prosecutors have alleged that Barcelona owe the taxman 9 million Euros.

PRIMARK’S OPEN AND SHUT CASE

Cut­price clothing chain Primark, which has outlets in Elche and Zenia Boulevard, will continue to open more stores in Spain, despite shutting down two shops in the country in the last few months. The fash­ ion retailer, which now has 39 stores in Spain, closed its Zaragoza store at the end of January when the mall in which it was based shut down. While other stores

sought new locations, Primark said it had no plans to do so at present. The outlet was not the first to close as last autumn their La Coruña shop, ceased trading, with declining footfall blamed. The company is opening a new outlet in Tenerife this weekend, and Spain has become Primark’s second largest market after the British Isles.

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Remember, The Courier told you first

THE Torrevieja teenag­ er tipped to be the next Rafa Nadal has a spe­ cial bond with a British couple he looks upon as his grandparents.

And Nicola Kuhn’s admiring abuelos are so convinced he will become a tennis champi­ on that they have backed him to win Wimbledon before 2021.

Nico, European No.2 in his age group, looks upon Welsh couple Charles and Ann as his own family after they took him under their wing as a two­year­old and helped to nurture his career.

“Yes, I really think they are

Friday, February 28, 2014

OUR NICOLA WILL WIN WIMBLEDON BEFORE HE’S 21 Donna Gee reports

my grandparents,'' he con­ firmed in an exlusive inter­ view this week. “I spend lots of time with them and Charles gives me English lessons as well.''

Nico, who will be 14 on

March 20, is revelling in the success of his adopted coun­ try Germany, having led the national under­14 team to what is effectively the European team title in Italy recently.

The tall, blond Torry kid had already won the first Tennis Europe tournament event of the year in Bolton and then reached the final of the prestigious Petit As event in France. In doing so, Nico trod in the footsteps of World No.1 Nadal, who lost to Richard Gasquet in the final of the same event just over a decade ago.

Nico also lost in that final – his only defeat in an other­ wise immaculate 2014.

Kuhn, described by the legendary Boris Becker as “a better player than I was at his age’’, is already rubbing shoulders with the game's top stars as he travels around Europe on the junior circuit.

He has to do his secular studies via the Internet and says of the tennis big names: “I like the guys and I know nearly all of those playing at the top. I talk to them every day so we have a really good connection.

“I speak German and Russian very well because I

Nicola Kuhn with former World No.1 Juan Carlos Ferrero, whose tennis Academy he attends

learnt the languages when I was very small.''

The Austrian­born son of German businessman Alfred Kuhn and his Russian wife Rita has been playing tennis since he was four.

He recalls: “Every day after school we went to play for an hour or two. I was developing fast and I had a big interest in tennis, so I kept asking my parents more and more to practise and that's what I am still doing right now ­ practiising.''

Nico has no ill feelings towards Spain after switch­ ing his national allegiance to Germany when the cash­ strapped Spanish refused to pay his travelling expenses.

But he rubbed the snub in by leading his adopted coun­ try to a runaway victory in the European Winter Cup. Nico didn't lose in an unbeaten run which included a straight­ sets victory over European No.1 Alen Avidzba in the final against Russia. ''I’m not angry at Spain at all,'' he insisted. “But they want the best players without doing anything to help, and sport doesn't work like this.

“They should have done more for me, but I'm not the only good sportsman, there are so many good players in Torrevieja in other sports like football, basketball... and they also don't get anything.''

So how does Nico see himself in terms of nationali­ ty? Born in Austria and brought up in Spain by German and Russian par­ ents, he speaks all three lan­ guages ­ plus very good English.

“It's very difficult to say what I feel really,'' he says. “I am in the German team, so for tennis I prefer Germany.

“For living, Spain is better but Germany is my team and I'm very proud to play for a country and win the titles like I did a week ago.

“We are European Champions and, believe me, it's a great feeling to be part of it.''

Skinflint bookies would only give us 250-1 IT’S three years since former Post Office official Charles hunted around for a bookie who would give odds on Nicola Kuhn winning Wimbledon He had to settle for miserable odds of 250­1 yet remains convinced that his ‘adopted’ grandson will lift the biggest prize in tennis by 2021.

Charles, a neighbour of the Kuhns in Torre del Moro, recalls: “We searched through all the UK bookmakers who take bets on snow/rain/flies crawling up walls etc, and all but one declined to offer odds on him winning Wimbledon in the next 10 years.

“Only Victor Chandler put his head over the parapet. He gave us a paltry 250­ 1. That was on 28 Feb, 2011. Nico was just 10 years old.

“We put down £20, but when you think how many things could go wrong over those 10 years, the odds were ridiculous.

Still, as time passes, the chance of £5,000 looks better.’’

Charles and Maureen’s connection with Nico and his family goes back to the days Rita Kuhn brought her toddler son to the urbanisation pool to teach him to swim.

“The pool is outside the front of our

Nicola (holding trophy) on the podium with his German teammates after being crowned European champions

villa,’’says Charles. “By the time he was four we found a natural bond. Nico had no siblings or other children of his age on the urbanisation.

“It gave me a perfect excuse to play diving about in the pool and having fun, without looking too demented a sad old fogey.

“I taught him to float motionless, he taught me to swim underwater on my back. He would ring my bell two and three times a day to ‘go swimming’.

Great!”

“Later, he started to come for ‘English lessons’ I felt inadequate beside this young lad who was fluent speaking Spanish, Russian and German, and was now becoming proficient in English.

“When he started playing tennis (without my ‘expertise’), the swimming pool became a training area and I would sometimes take over the duties his moth­ er normally performed ­ walking up and down the pool and counting whilst he

swam 20, 30, 40 lengths, in order to build up his stamina.

“We started to watch him play tennis but because of our absences in the UK, now coupled with his frequent travelling, we have only watched a few times.

“Most of his tournaments in the last year have been International ­ Russia, Germany, France, Italy, Turkey, UK ­ not ‘just up the road’.

“So following his progress is both physically and financially beyond us.

“However, we follow his every tourna­ ment on the internet, and text our sup­ port daily.

Charles and Maureen also have an incentive scheme that keeps Nico on his toes. Charles explains: “Every competi­ tion he wins while we are in Spain, we give him €10.

“He tells us he puts it in his box that he ‘never, never, opens’. It is a ritual played out between us.

“He must have had €100 for the box to date, but we have been lucky enough to be back in the UK for a lot of his wins.

“He has been told that because of the economic situation, there will be a price freeze, and he will still only get €10 when he wins Wimbledon. Skinflints!’’

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Friday, February 28, 2014

IT was a sad coinci­ dence that Whalley Owen, a patriotic stal­ wart of the Torrevieja expat community, passed away a couple of days before his beloved Wales ham­ mered France in rugby union’s Six Nations Championship.

Or was it?

I prefer to think that Whalley was having such a ball in his new celestial sur­ roundings that he decided to orchestrate the outcome of the big game as a gift to the legion of Taffs he left behind.

The 27­3 scoreline, Wales's best victory over their Gallic rivals in the Six Nations championship, came as the so­called experts were predicting an embarrassing defeat for Sam Warburton’s dragons.

A few weeks ago, Whalley and his wife Marion sat in the lounge of my villa watching one of the autumn rugby internationals and reminisc­ ing about our mutual roots in South Wales.

Half a century ago, we were all living in Pontypridd and although we didn't know each other at the time, there was an air of the surreal about this Spanish gathering of kindred souls on unfamiliar territory.

Here we were, far away

WHALLEY’S DAI OF JUDGEMENT Whalley Owen from home, enjoying a sun­ shine existence a million miles from the grey, grey bleakness of home. Green, green grass? Don't make me laugh.

No wonder Marion and the family opted not to take Whalley's remains back to the valleys. The poor fella would have drowned posthu­ mously.

Whalley's death came painlessly, and relatively sud­ denly, at a time when Welsh

folk are ironing their old daf­ fodils and preparing for St David's Day. Back home, the land of my fathers is preparing for the baring of its patriotic soul and unleashing of the Dragon on the complacent followers of St George.

And yet the profile of Wales's national day seems relatively low outside the Principality – unlike the furore of St Patrick's Day, when whooping American hype generates the impres­ sion that half the world has roots in the Paddy fields of Ireland.

I guess I'll have to settle for wearing a daffodil (if I can find one) plus a few choruses of Cwm Rhondda in the shower. That's the hymn the prayer book calls 'Guide Me O Thy Great Redeemer' – and which was sung as such at Whalley's funeral service in La Siesta Church this

Patriot game: The Welsh players prepare for battle

week.

It also happens to be the mantra of Welsh rugby – a tune synonymous with the national sport for as long as I can remember and upstaged only by the National Anthem

itself. And I don't mean that dismal dirge God Save The Queen.

For some inexplicable rea­ son, the English lack passion when it comes to expressing national pride...so much so

The day I trapped the Trapp troupe THE death of 99­year­old Maria, last of the original Von Trapp family singers, took me back 20 years to the day I was asked to find out what happened to the REAL people por­ trayed in The Sound of Music.

In those days, background materi­ al was extremely limited online – but I managed to Trapp the legendary musical troupe down at their holiday complex in the United States, where they took refuge after fleeing their native Austria in 1938.

So how true to life was the story as portrayed in the 1965 film classic, I asked Johannes Von Trapp, President of the Trapp Family Lodge in Stowe, Vermont, “Well, put it this way,’’ said the youngest of Captain Georg Von Trapp’s ten children – and his third by second wife Maria. “If it had been accurate, Julie Andrews would have had a pillow under her dress as she danced over the mountains into Switzerland. My mother was eight

months pregnant at the time ­ I was born just a month later!’’

Ironically, I came across an item this week expanding on what Johannes told me in my research for a Scottish Sun article.. It revealed that while The Sound of Music was generally based on Baroness Maria's 1949 book The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, there were many alterations and omissions. l Maria came to the family in 1926 as a tutor for her late name­

sake, who was recovering from scarlet fever, not as governess to all the children. l Maria and Georg married in 1927, not just before the Nazi takeover. l Maria fell in love with the chil­ dren at first sight, not their father.

When he asked her to marry him, she was not sure if she should aban­ don her religious calling but was advised by the nuns to do God's will and marry Georg.

that the masses accept what must be the least inspiring National Anthem on the planet.

No wonder The Queen smiles so rarely. The inces­ sant request to the Almighty to save her probably bores her as much as it does 99 per cent of those who have to endure the misery.

Just listen to the thunder­ ing anthems of France, Italy and indeed Wales and you'll get an inkling of what REAL motivation is all about.

Surely it wouldn't be too much of a problem for England to switch to the inspiration of Land of Hope and Glory or Rule Britannia.

And the time to do it is NOW because I'm beginning to wonder whether Her Majesty actually wants to be saved.

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Friday, February 28, 2014

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Friday, February 28, 2014

A MAN OF BEANS

I was standing near the supermarket exit, minding my own business while Mrs S was tending to hers at the checkout, when I heard a voice.

Now I am certainly no stranger to hearing voices (my family and a couple of medical practitioners will attest to that) but this one was particularly intriguing.

For it was female and, dare I say, a bit beguiling.

Indeed, it sounded like some woman had actually found me sufficiently appealing to initiate a conversation.

'Hello,' the voice said again. 'What's your name?

Would you like a go?'

I sucked in my tummy in an attempt to produce a trimmer middle but panicked when I felt my trousers start to fall down.

Blushing spectacularly, I scurried away to hide. It was only when I peeped furtively around that I realised the invitation had come from the automated voice on a kiddies ride.

Not for the first time I won­ dered what my existence was all about. Why didn't life come with subtitles or explanatory notes? And per­ haps more to the point, the store security man wanted to know why I was gibbering to myself while hiding behind a huge display of baked bean tins (Buy one, get one free.

Offer valid until the end of the month.)

'It's all right, er . . . officer, he's with me,' said Mrs S as she exited the checkout.

'Although sometimes I wish he wasn't.'

As soon as we were out of earshot, Mrs S turned her full venom on me. 'What is it with you? I've told you time and time again that all I require of you when we come to the supermarket is that you to sit quietly in the cafe. You drink coffee while I shop! Get it? I shouldn't have to repeat myself.'

'You can say that again,' I said, burying my tongue firm­ ly in my cheek.

'Excuse me, madam,' said

the store security man who had caught up with us in the car park. 'Is this man still bothering you? I would have asked you earlier but I was busy picking up all those knocked­over baked bean tins. You wouldn't believe how far they've rolled.'

Mrs S said: 'This man is my husband. You might offer your condolences on my lack of taste in men but I do hap­ pen to love him dearly. He's

my best friend, my soul mate and the father of my gor­ geous children. But if things ever do go wrong I will only have to mention Jeremy Kyle.'

Mrs S loaded our groceries into the car boot while I stood there waiting patiently for her to finish. That is not as cruel as it sounds. I allow Mrs S to handle all simple chores while I concentrate on the big challenges like world eco­

nomics, human rights and pub opening hours.

As we drove home from the supermarket, I turned to Mrs S. 'I want to thank you for what you said about me back there. You know, all that stuff about loving me.'

'Well, it's true, darling, despite your many irritating peculiarities and eccentrici­ ties,' she cooed.

'You have a good woman there,' the store security man commented to me from the back seat of my car. 'And it's also very nice of you to give me a lift home after my shift, especially when I virtually accused you of being a lunatic back there behind the baked beans display.'

'That,' I said, 'is because I happen to be a very nice man. My therapist taught me that a person shouldn't accept situations at face value. It's all about reconcep­ tualisation. Try to remember that.'

I pulled the car into the kerb and the supermarket guy clambered out. 'Thanks

again. See you next time you're . . . hey, hang on a minute! You've dropped me off at least five miles from my house.'

'Sorry about that, pal,' I said, driving off. 'I'm obvious­ ly not as nice as I thought.'

I chuckled to myself, then chuckled out loud, then stopped chuckling altogether.

'It's no good,' I sighed. 'I can't do it to the poor guy.' And I turned the car around and went back to where I'd dropped off my passenger.

'I was only joking,' I fibbed as the store security man returned gratefully to the rear seat. Mrs S squeezed my hand: 'For one moment there I thought I was married to that moaning whinger Victor Meldrew off the telly. It's good to have you back, my lovely, but dim, husband.'

I dropped off the super­ market guy outside his house and he waved a cheery farewell. 'You are a lovely couple,' he said. 'Goodbye and thank you again, Mr Kyle and Mrs Meldrew.'

Friday, February 28, 2014

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Friday, February 28, 2014

AVOID THE KILLER CATERPILLARS

This week I thought it would be a good idea to write about processionary cater­ pillars, which are a real danger to dogs and humans.

These caterpillars represent a public health hazard because they have thousands of hairs which contain an irritating protein called thaumetopoein. These hairs can be blown by the wind into contact with people and animals, resulting in painful skin irrita­ tions and rashes and, in some cases, aller­ gic reactions in some people and animals.

They are native to, and until recently were only found in the Mediterranean region, North Africa, and some areas of the Middle East and southern Europe. In Spain espe­ cially, they are a huge problem. They feed off the needles of pine trees and it is very easy to spot their nests. Looking at a pine tree, if you see a white ball, which resembles cotton wool or candy floss, that is them.

More commonly referred to as the pine processionary caterpillar as its name implies, they are a kind of caterpillar that lives on the tree tops of Pine Trees. The word processionary comes from the fact that they line­up forming long caterpillar lines that can reach several meters long, although generally they only measure around a cen­ timetre in length.

If you come across them, do not touch them! Warn your children that they are not like the friendly English caterpillars. The very

fine hairs on these creatures are poisonous and most dangerous. They are most notice­ able from January to mid­April and are at their most dangerous in mid/late February.

The caterpillars are often seen in the evenings, walking in procession from tree to tree.

If they drop onto you or your pet, don't brush them off with your hands because the effect is most unpleasant, causing great irri­ tation, rash and pain. Dogs, cats and people can suffer from shock. The hairs of the cater­ pillars are still very harmful even when the creatures are dead. Do not hit them with sticks because hairs flying in the air are just as dangerous. Burn them, but be careful of floating hairs. If the caterpillars are in the tree cocoon state, first spray the nest with hair spray (to seal down the hairs), cover the cocoon and the affected part of the branch with a plastic bag, cut down the branch, place it on clear ground and burn it.

I have come across these pests for the last two weeks and I have been so lucky that none of my dogs have been affected, but liv­ ing in Pinoso, which in English translates as The Pines, means I have to be extra vigilant

THESE ARE THE NESTS TO BE AWARE OF at this time of year, because it is now that they are at their worst. Most councils in Spain take this problem very seriously and in our village they have been busy all week trimming the pine trees and treating them so that they are not infested.

So when you are out with your dogs, keep a look out for the nests in the trees or a line of caterpillars following each other. If you spot them, get your dog away from them instantly or it could prove to be an extremely painful lesson for our four legged friends as well as for us.

I am available for consultations through­ out the Costa Blanca region, if you are hav­ ing problems with your furry best friend. To book a consultation you can email me at peter@thedogyouneed.com and I will con­ tact you straight away, or you can call me on 966 847 827. We have set up an animal charity, where we help the most severely abused and injured animals in Spain. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@thedo­ gyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

IBAN: GB83 NWBK 6016 0373 7549 00.

BIC: NWBK GB 2L Even one Euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Bobby

Although brothers Billy and Bobby are large dogs, they are very friendly and big sof­ ties. Lovely dogs, they will make great companions for anyone with the space to adopt a large dog. To meet Billy and Bobby please con­ tact Yvonne on 630 422

563.Tilly is a lovely tabby female with beautiful golden eyes. She is one of the many cats living in the APAH Cattery who have never known a loving home. Can you give Tilly a home and lots of love? To arrange to visit the Cattery, please con­ tact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Cody and Barney These 12 week old pups were found near Almoradi.

Both Males They will pro­ bably be small to medium sized dogs and quite slim build, they are both very gen­ tle Natured dogs.

Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

sure her new family would be rewarded with a very happy, loving companion. Millie is fully vaccinated, micro chip­ ped and sterilized, if you would like more information on this pretty girl, please con­ tact us on 966710047 or email info@satanimalres­ cue.com

Kingsley and his brother Tyler were found wandering as starving, frightened pup­ pies. Since being in the APAH kennels they have put on weight and grown in con­

Molly is a 12 week old Podenco that has been found in the campo along with her siblings, she is ado­ rable very quick to learn and her foster carer says she is very good, their mum is a small Podenco. Molly is still a bit nervous and needs a good home for more info call 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail .com

Teddy is a large Mastin cross dog that was found wandering. He is good with other dogs and he is very friendly, he is only about 3 years old and he is looking for a new home. For more information on this lovely boy please telephone the P.E.P.A. helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animal­ charity@gmail.com

Kingsley fidence and are ready for the first loving home and family.

To meet them please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

MILLIE was found abando­ ned with her mother, Mollie.

This youngster is 7 months old and is a little nervous of new people but with us and her kennel mates she’s a dif­ ferent dog; very playful and energetic.

She is a Hungarian Vizla type cross­ breed who is eager to please and should be easy to train; given enough mental and physical stimulation we are

Milly

Mollie MOLLIE we believe to be 4 years old; she is a very affectionate and happy girl who loves to play with her kennel mates and enjoys going for a walk. She is also fully vaccinated and micro chipped and will be sterilized before she leaves the ken­ nels, as she was in season when she arrived. She has a wonderful temperament and would make a wonderful addition to any family. If you would like more information on Mollie please contact us on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Heidi is one of many of the black cats living in the APAH Cattery. For some reason, beautiful black cats are always overlooked. Can you offer Heidi or any of the other 80+ cats and kittens in the APAH Cattery a loving home? Please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Heidi

Molly

Teddy

Friday, February 28, 2014

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There´s nothing like a child´s illness to put everything into perspec­ tive. When things are run­ ning smoothly and life is ticking along it is easy to take things for granted and keep going and pushing without realising that what you are doing could in some way be bad for you, or for those around you.

This winter I have worked a lot more than in previous winters. I have built myself up after some rough times to get to the position where I can support myself. The help was there when I real­ ly needed it but now that has finished and I am push­ ing myself to be better; to live better; and to build a future. But at what cost? It is hard enough to make a self­sufficient life here and as mentioned before there has to be a bit of pushing, but I have begun to realise that maybe I have been pushing too hard:­ not for me, but for my son!

Last Friday he got up, and I made breakfast and went for my shower. After I returned, I noticed that he hadn´t even began to eat

Friday, February 28, 2014

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU’RE EATING!

his cereal and he quietly said to me that he felt ill.

Normally when he´s play­ ing the sickness card, he at least eats his breakfast so when I saw an untouched bowl of chocolate loops I knew there had to be some problem. I sent him back up to bed and settled him down while I went to start work. Luckily I didn´t have too much to do in the morn­ ing and I was soon check­ ing on him. He spent the whole morning in bed and then came down to watch television, until around 5 o´clock when I needed to go out. Rather than leaving him on his own and consid­ ering that there hadn´t been any actual sickness, we both got into the car for a quick trip to the garage to buy some gas.

He climbed into his seat

while I got myself comfort­ able and ready to drive, and then I heard it! The unmistakeable sound com­ ing from the back seat of the car as his lunch made an impromptu appearance!

I jumped from my seat and, as fast as I could flung open his door and tried to pull him around, so at least any more that exited would not fall into the car but drop onto the road. I was not too successful with this but eventually I got him out and sat down by the side of the car while I manoeuvred the car seat out and tried to remove the towel I always place under his seat to pro­ tect it, dropping as little of the mixture that was now seemingly covering every­ thing, as I could.

Unfortunately I didn´t do too good a job of it

although it was better than had I not had the towel there at all. The seat was taken to the side of the pool and hosed down and the towel and clothes placed in the washing machine and washed straight away. I took my son and showered him and then wrapped him in clean pyjamas before tak­ ing him upstairs and tuck­ ing him into bed to watch television. By then my next students had arrived and although my son said he felt ok it was still worrying that he had been ill.

The entire next day was spent with him sleeping in my bed and occasionally waking to be sick before drifting back to sleep. I spent the majority of the day at his side writing and organising things, as well

as passing him the bucket when he felt poorly and wiping his brow. Eventually by the evening he had managed to eat some toast which thankfully he kept down with some sips of water, whilst by Sunday morning he woke up feeling a bit weak but almost back to normal. I have to work late most nights and maybe my working hours aren´t good for him, and I there­ fore made a decision to work slightly less and organise my evenings bet­ ter. By doing that, I hope he has at least a stable evening environment, and that he is at home and able to rest and be comfortable without me having to pick him up late at night to take him home. It also takes some of the pressure off me. My friends, who have

my son when I have to work away, have been the best that anyone could hope for, but it is still a responsibility for them and a pressure for me. That said, the overrid­ ing factor in my decision is the health of my boy. This is a time I will never get back with him and I don´t want to miss it or make it a bad experience for him. He will still get to spend time with my friends but on bet­ ter terms for us all and in the mean time I will contin­ ue to cherish the time I have with him whilst bal­ ancing work and family life.

Maybe one day I´ll meet my Prince Charming who can be there for me and my boy! Until then, I´ll try and make my son´s formative years as stress free and enjoyable as possible for us both.

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Friday, February 28, 2014

NO CHICKENS IN KIEV We all love people power, and the latest events in the Ukraine are a very good example of that. The bloody scenes in Kiev, with a strong suspicion of Russian snipers being involved in taking down protestors, were a disgrace to what is a parliamentary democracy.

But the hired thugs didn’t prevail, and it appears that things have stabilised and

that there’ll be fresh elec­ tics are still very vocal in the tions, which I hope will be UK. Talking of which, the Lib monitored by observers from Dem leader and deputy key regions like the EU and Russia. The problem every Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, time we see such a revolu­ has had a rush of blood to his tion is what comes next, and head by choosing to do battle so often it turns out to be a with UKIP leader, Nigel shambles of despair. I also Farage. Clegg on his London find it somewhat ironic that radio show offered Farage the Ukrainian people want to the chance to debate join the European Union (in whether or not the UK should an obvious anti­Russia stay in the European Union, snub), whilst the Euro scep­ and of course seeing the

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mass publicity, Farage grabbed it with both hands.

Straight away Clegg has given UKIP a publicity boost along with added credibility.

His opponent is very good at going for the jugular mixed in with humour, and I suspect that the Lib Dem leader will come over as a bit of a stiff.

It’s not the wisest thing to do, but is it also a sign of desper­ ation that Clegg can see his pro­EU party getting one hell of a drubbing in the European elections, and so he feels he has nothing to lose?

I couldn’t help laughing the other day when I heard the boss of British Gas reacting to some lower profit figures by waxing lyrical on how his company’s priorities were totally focused on the customer. What total poppy­ cock, as the main aim is maximise profits and to offer generous dividends to share­ holders. The chairman also said that Labour’s move to freeze prices for 20 months if they win the next election

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would hamper investment and might lead to power cuts.

Really? I think that Rick Haythornthwaite is protesting too much and he knows that a Conservative victory would be a more profitable proposi­ tion for him and his directors.

Labour leader Ed Miliband is absolutely right when he says that something needs to be done to change the weekly joke that is Prime Minister’s Questions. The regular cir­ cus of points scoring does lit­ tle to inform the viewing pub­ lic about the work of

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Parliament in addition to illu­ minating anybody over major polices that impact the UK. No wonder the House of Commons luddites tried to stop tv cameras getting into the chamber over a quarter of a century ago, but those that rightly wanted them there thought the bear­pit atmosphere would change under the public glare. Sadly it hasn’t, but perhaps that may be simply down to the fact that the ordinary voter doesn’t give a hoot about what goes on there in the first place?

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Tony

Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

BRITAIN SHOULD NOT HAVE HUNGRY PEOPLE

Jobseeker's Allowance payments have been suspended a total of 818,000 times in the UK since tougher rules were introduced in October 2012.

Claimants have had money docked because they have failed to do enough to find work or turned down job offers, or not turned up to attend an appointment. Serves them right, I hear a lot of people say. People have been sitting on their backsides for years living on benefits and without any intention of doing any work. The Government's tougher rules to encourage people to work rather than live life on the dole has considerable public support. Anything that forces them towards getting a job must be good, and if that means starving them in the process, then so what?

That's all very well ­ provided that people with very good reasons for not complying, do not suffer, and, it seems, many have been caught in the trap. Sanctions have led to blind and partially sighted people being forced to rely on food banks whilst they wait for the government to correct its own mistakes, according to the Royal National Institute for the Blind. People are being sanctioned for going to family funerals rather than seek work and those without IT skills penalised for not applying online. This is simply not good enough! Being tough on the workshy is fair enough but the government is also undermining a very important safety net.

UK church leaders have collectively criticised the govern­ ment for causing hardship and destitution on the altar of try­ ing to reduce the vast welfare budget. As the church leaders point out, Britain is the seventh largest world economy ­ yet people within it are going hungry. And that's just not accept­ able in the 21st century. The Department of Work and Pensions said people who are in genuine need can apply for hardship payments ­ but is it enough, and is it giving suf­ ficient protection for those with genuine illnesses, or have learning difficulties? Church leaders point out the vast num­ bers of people having to turn to food banks to make ends meet. Sometimes it is a difficult call to differentiate between those who are genuinely in need of help, from those who visit food banks and charity centres simply to get something for nothing. And this is just as much of a problem here in Spain as back in the UK. I enjoyed reading the letter in last week's Courier from David Dawson taking me to task for daring to criticise the trade union movement. I had attacked the rail unions in the previous week's issue for the recent Underground strikes in London which brought misery for thousands of passengers and suggested there should be a better way to resolve disputes rather than resorting to strikes which dis­ rupt countless people and damage the economy into the bargain. Surprisingly, Mr Dawson, I accept and agree with 90% of what you write, save that I would never wish us to turn back the clock to 18th and 19th century working condi­ tions. You are obviously not a regular reader of my column, because, otherwise, you would remember that I have not

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only criticised trade union power, but that of the company boardroom, where members plot to hold ordinary workers' wage rises to the minimum while awarding themselves dou­ ble digit rises. It's this above anything else, which has increased the division between the super­ rich and poor.

No, Mr Dawson, I don't like union power any more than I like boardroom power and both are equally damaging. And I think I write with some experience, having once been a union branch chairman, treasurer and secretary and seen trade unionism for the good and the bad.

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I, and I'm sure there are many others, who find it diffi­ cult to understand why it is that people who have or earn a considerable amount of money do their utmost to avoid paying tax which they know they owe, thus resulting in others having to pay more. That’s why I'm delighted to hear that DJ Chris Moyles has had the book thrown at him for trying to save up to £1 million in tax. A tax court named Moyles and two other men as having taken part in a scheme called "working wheels" which counted 450 fund managers, celebrities and other high earners between 2006 and 2008 as members. The scheme worked by allowing its members to say they had incurred large fees while working in the sec­ ond­hand car trade which they could claim back against their tax bill. Moyles's self­assessment tax return for the financial year ending on April 5, 2008, when he was pre­ senting Radio One's Breakfast Show, said he “had engaged in self­employment as a used car trader". In a statement he claimed what he was doing was legal, but clearly he was misled and he must have known it was immoral, as must the other 450 who signed up to the ridiculous tax avoidance scheme. It's encouraging how opinion has changed over recent years, as a few years ago the majority of the public would have been sympathetic to people who avoided pay­ ing tax. Now the vast majority realise that tax avoiders are not to be admired.

Women: ­ imagine you are 18, 3 months pregnant and gang raped. You report it to police, who arrest you and

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take you to court, and then you are convicted of "inde­ cent acts". This happened to an Ethiopian woman in Sudan, who was given a one month jail stretch, but it was suspended because she was pregnant. She was also fined the equivalent of £530. Incredibly, she had also faced charges of adultery and prostitution, which could have led to a penalty of death by stoning, but these were dropped after she convinced the court she was divorced. The woman was house­hunting when she was lured to an empty property and attacked in Omdurman, just across the River Nile from Khartoum.

She now faces deportation to Ethiopia. It's all a very long way away, so why am I commenting on this appalling story? Because Sudanese law is based on Sharia and women under it are treated incredibly harsh­ ly, even being punished for wearing trousers or not cov­ ering their hair.

And there are quite a few people living in the UK who would love to see Sharia law practiced in the country. So be warned.

Three times in the past fortnight, people have been around the community where I live distributing adver­ tising leaflets and mini newspapers. They come, in the main, from supermarkets and DIY stores and are either pushed through community letter boxes or stuck into gates, or simply thrown into gardens. Loads more are put under car windscreens, especially on market days. And the result?

Loads of unwanted paper ends up blowing in community passageways and in the streets, making an unholy mess for someone else to clear up. It used to be common practice in Britain, but recently advertisers learned they got a better response if they actually advertised in newspapers or had leaflets inserted in them. The result was far less waste paper flying around in the streets, because people tend to put newspapers into recycling bins when they have finished reading them, whereas leaflets left under gates, in letter boxes and under windscreen wipers often end up simply being thrown on the ground.

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Oh dear ­ I went on the web to view the latest news this week, and the last thing I wanted to read was this:­ A study has found that men begin the unhappiest period in their lives when they hit 70, with complaints that they feel more 'hassled' and depressed even though they supposedly have fewer troubles. Now, I wouldn't be so concerned, except that I hit 70 in less than 8 months’ time! So what I want to know from others who have gone over the 70's hill, is whether you are feeling more hassled now? Apparently, us fellas manage to shrug off the world's problems quite well until they get to 70, when things go downhill. Four fifths of 70­plus men said the hassles they faced from the age of 50 receded but then rose after 70 while a fifth reported a surge in happiness from retirement age till 70, then they too expe­ rienced a downturn. So, over to you! Let us know in The Courier letters page.

Friday, February 28, 2014

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Friday, February 28, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 111 I hope you remember last week’s lesson on relative pro­ nouns and maybe you have been doing some study on your own to revise these, or at least I hope you have been prac­ tising when to use the ones we have learnt. As you progress with learning it becomes more complicated, there are more words to learn and more things to think about, however the more we use what we know the easier it becomes to learn new things as our confidence grows.

So we are going to continue with relative pronouns and we will start with ´el que´, it and its relative forms are used to refer to both people and things. There are as with adjectives and other types of pronouns four forms of this relative pro­ noun which relate to whether we are talking masuline or fem­ inine, singular or plural, the four forms are: el que, la que, los que and las que. Of course you are familiar with the direct article in Spanish and so these first words are not new to you.

This relative pronoun means ´the one that is´or ´the one who is´, for example: mi tío, el que es médico, trabaja en un hospital – My uncle, the one who is a doctor, works in a hospital, las sillas, las que son de madera, son caras – the chairs, the ones that are made of wood, are expensive, mi hermana, la que es más mayor, viene pronto – my sister, the one who is older, is coming soon, mis libros, los que son antiguos, son muy interesante – my books, the ones that are old, are very interesting. There is another set of rel­ ative pronouns that can be used in place of el que, la que, los que and las que although these are not normally used in everyday spoken Spanish and tend to be reserved for more formal speaking or written Spanish, they are: el cual, la cual, los cuales and las cuales.

When the relative pronoun is referring to an abstract idea always use ´lo que´, for example: lo que quieres no existe – that which you want doesn´t exist, no entiendo lo que ocurre – I don´t understand that which (what) is happening.

I am now going to explain the relative adjective ´cuyo´ (and it´s related forms) because it relates the owner of some­ thing to that which is owned, as in the English word ´whose´ Again there are four forms which are to be used depending on masculine or feminine, singular or plural. The four forms are – cuyo, cuya, cuyos, cuyas. In this case the adjective agrees in number and gender with the thing being owned not with the owner.

Examples: La chica, cuyo padre es médico, es muy amable – the girl, whose father is a doctor, is very friendly, el hombre, cuya madre tuvo un accidente, trabaja conmigo – the man, whose mother had an accident, works with me, el coche, cuyos frenos no funcionan, es un peligro – the car, whose brakes don´t work, is a danger, Paul, cuyas her­ manas están en Inglaterra, es mi amigo – Paul, whose sis­ ters are in England, is my friend.

I am now going to give you some homework to check your learning of relative pronouns, including what we did last week, If you haven´t seen it or need a bit of revision then please check online at www.thecourier.es Fill in the gaps with one or more words to combine the two sentences into one: 1.Visitamos la ciudad el año pasado. La ciudad es bella.

La ciudad___________el año pasado es bella.

The city we visited last year is beautiful.

2. La niña canta. La niña es mi prima.

La niña___________es mi prima.

The girl who is singing is my cousin.

3. La señora es anciana. La señora compró una casa.

La señora que es ___________compró una casa.

The lady who is old bought a house.

4. La señorita habla. La señorita es mexicana.

La señorita___________habla es mexicana The young lady who is speaking is Mexican.

5. Hice una paella. Era deliciosa.

La paella___________era deliciosa.

The paella that I made was delicious.

Now write the second sentence with a different relative pronoun than appears in the first: 1. The girl who is singing is my cousin.

La niña que está cantando es mi prima.

La niña___________está cantando es mi prima.

2. The girls you saw are my sisters.

Las chicas que usted vio son mis hermanas.

Las chicas___________usted vio son mis hermanas.

3. The man you met last night is an author.

El hombre que conociste anoche es autor.

El hombre___________conociste anoche es autor.

4. The man whom I admire is a professor.

El hombre a quien admiro es profesor.

El hombre ___________es profesor.

5. The doctor that you called came immediately.

El médico a quien llamó vino en seguida.

El médico___________llamó vino en seguida.

Use the correct relative pronoun 1. Mi tía___________es profesora, viene a visitarme hoy.

My aunt, who is a profesor, is coming to visit me today.

2. Las mesas, ___________son de madera, son caras.

The tables, which are made of wood, are expensive.

3. Mi tío,___________es cocinero, llegará pronto.

My uncle, the one who is a cook, will arrive soon.

4. Mis libros, ___________son viejos, son preciosos.

My books, which are old, are valuable.

5. La mujer,___________es de España, tiene noventa años.

The woman, who is from Spain, is ninety years old.

Next week we will have the answers and also a few more translations, have a good week.

Friday, February 28, 2014

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Friday, February 28, 2014

TEN KEYS TO HEALTHY EATING In a time of fast food, dinner­to­go and Pizza hot­lines it becomes more and more crucial for people to remember healthy eat­ ing in order to stay active, feel good and maintain a healthy weight. For those that already chronically feel sick, fatigued and overweight it is important to review these keys to healthy eating in order to change back to a healthier lifestyle.

1. Eat Green

Green vegetables have a huge amount of minerals and dietary fibre in them. The min­ erals are essential to your health, wellbeing and fighting sickness. Dietary fibre is like the magic pill when it comes to keeping your colon healthy and working efficiently.

Greens that are good to eat are spinach leaves, broccoli, lettuce, Brussels sprouts, fresh wheat grass and collards.

2. Get Moving

Start with a very small amount but do it continually to build up a habit. When the habit is there you can increase the amount of exercise you are doing. For weight loss the slow increase over time will be more beneficial than a long workout over only a short time period. Exercise has been proven to work as a hunger depressant. A few minutes of walking before dinner also helps in keeping the portion size down.

3. Laugh and Be Social

When you eat with others you can focus more of your attention on the conversations and the interaction that is taking place. You do not have to rely solely on your food to make you happy. Also, laughing is good for

consists of its shell, the seed and a starch pocket. In the process of producing flour the grain is stripped off the seed, which is fatty and would make the flour turn bad in short time. For white flour the shell is also taken away, leaving mainly the starch. In whole­wheat flour the shell is left with the starch providing dietary fibre, minerals and vitamins. If you want to use whole­wheat flour for baking add about 10% more water to the dough. If you want to compromise use 2/3 whole­wheat flour and 1/3 white flour.

the soul. It defeats stress and works against depression, two major reasons why people overeat and turn to food as their com­ forter.

4. Drink Water

Somehow we forget this a lot during our busy lifestyles. If you don't drink enough your body actually starts to store water, which will lead to weight gain and will counteract weight loss. Therefore, make sure you are getting your recommended eight cups a day.

5. Get Enough Sleep

Most people need about seven to eight hours of sleep a night. When losing weight and going through physical changes you will be needing more sleep. Not getting enough sleep will lead to fatigue and a craving for high energy foods to keep you going through the day. When you notice fatigue, try a power nap of maximum 30minutes instead of a candy bar.

6. Eat Fresh

Everything that comes in cans, bags, boxes, bottles and so on is processed food and has already lost a large amount of its minerals and vitamins. It might have the same calories as it did fresh, but the quality has degraded. Make sure you get enough fresh food in your diet to fuel your body with

SLIMFIT The Weight Loss Clinic with a Difference...

9. Say 'No' to Sugar

all the nutrients it needs. Always have fresh fruit in the house, keep fresh vegetables in your refrigerator and if you can afford it buy your fresh produce in the organic section.

Also, a farmers' market is usually the better choice than a big store.

7. Avoid Hydrogenated Vegetable Oils

More and more people are picking up on this. Hydrogenated vegetable oils have been linked to many diseases lately. They are being used in pastry to extend its shelf life. Therefore, always check the ingredi­ ents before buying pastries and other baked goods.

8. Choose Whole Wheat Instead of White Flour

The diet experts are screaming it at you all the time. Avoid the white flour. A grain

White sugar is so refined that it does not have any vitamins or minerals left. Actually, when white sugar is digested it takes those minerals from the body that it needs to be processed. Sugar has an addictive effect on the body. Some people may have mild symptoms of dizziness, headache and sweating when stopping to consume sugar.

10. Exchange Bad Eating Habits with Good Ones

Changing to healthy eating is about exchanging bad eating habits with good ones. This is the important thing to keep in mind when pursuing weight loss and health improvement. Take time to think about bad eating habits that you have and instead of ending them, exchange them for good ones. Once you have that good eating habit implemented move on to the next bad habit you have and keep continuing on this path of permanent health.

Heart Disease, CoQ10 and Cholesterol lowering Statins

Your heart is the most active organ in your body, With our expert coaching, support and guidance you will beating over 100,000 times be equipped as never before to lose weight and KEEP IT every day. To perform this OFF! amazing feat, the heart We don’t make false promises and we deal personally with needs to generate enor­ all our clients. If you follow our advice and recommendations mous energy, and at the we GUARANTEE that you will have weight loss during your centre of this energy gener­ 6 weeks with us, or your money back! Does this sound like ation is a compound called a PROMISE? We do hope so as we are so convinced that Co­enzyme Q10 (CoQ10). our programme WILL work for you.

CoQ10 is required by every 6 Week Programme cell in the body and pro­ The programme consists of two sections and runs over a 6 vides 2 main functions – it week consecutive period. It is essential that no weeks are generates energy, and as missed as the essence of the success is continuity. an antioxidant, it removes Section 1 is one to one support and individual nutrition toxic compounds called free information and advice radicals from the body.

Section 2 is group work where a set programme is intro­ CoQ10 is needed the most duced which will address physical, social and emotional rea­ by very active organs of the sons for the weight problems and will equip the client to make body such as the heart, healthy food choices, to deal with the emotional factors and brain, liver, and muscles, to develop strategies to ensure that the weight loss can be and these organs start to maintained for life. This section includes information and a malfunction when CoQ10 group exercises (not physical)! levels start to fall. CoQ10 is This programme is intended for those who can attend our produced in the body, but clinic but a slightly modified online programme is also avail­ with difficult as it requires able. Contact us today: on 966 191 514 / 722 219 450 or many nutrients that are defi­ email info@slimfit­europe.com cient in most people’s diet.

Good food sources of CoQ10 include; nuts, canola oil, organ meat ­ especially chicken heart and kidneys. CoQ10 levels start to decline in the body from the age of 25, and by age 50 it has fallen to 50% of its original value. And as levels continue to decline, the risk of developing heart

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

disease and other chronic illnesses rises. Over 300 diseases are now known to be caused by low levels of CoQ10. Numerous clinical studies have shown that people suffering from car­ diac diseases such as heart failure and arrhythmias (abnormal heart beats) have very low levels of CoQ10.

High blood pressure is also a consequence of CoQ10 deficiency. CoQ10 levels in the body are severely depleted by the commonly prescribed cholesterol low­ ering drug – Statins. When statins block the production of cholesterol, they also block the production of CoQ10 because both nutri­ ents are produced from the same pathway. For this rea­ son, the commonest side­ effects of statins occur in the organs that need CoQ10 the most: side­ effects such as muscle pain and weakness, confusion, memory loss, heart failure and tiredness. Statins cause more harm than gain, and should be avoid­ ed unless absolutely neces­

sary. And if you must contin­ ue taking statins, then ensure that you also take CoQ10 supplements. MitoQ is the most active and absorbable form of CoQ10 and has been uniquely for­ mulated to deliver CoQ10 directly to the cells, unlike other earlier forms of CoQ10. MitoQ is available

from MedB health shop for the discount price of 43 Euros (60 capsules), Call 965071745, Delivery is free.

For more information visit: www.mitoq.com FOR FULL BODY DIAG­ NOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MANNU: 965071745

Friday, February 28, 2014

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Friday, February 28, 2014

COUGHING UP AN ANSWER Q

I have seen your topics in the local paper and web site. I have had a cough for 5 years now and have tests in England ­ like a chest X­ray, CT scan on lungs, angiogram on my heart, blood tests, ENT appointments ,post nasal drip spray, acupuncture, nutritionist.....noth­ ing has given me answer other than the doctors saying ­ there is nothing we can do…learn to live with it. I cough mostly when standing not sitting. I'm at my wits end with my cough....as it's not in my chest just my throat....hope you can help.

A

I am sorry to hear of your situation. Indeed you have car­ ried out a lot of tests; however your doctors may have missed some important tests that can reveal the cause of your problem. Many of the diagnostic scans that I perform on peo­ ple with persistent cough normally reveal a dysfunction of the immune system, a disorder that encourages the growth of harmful microbes. Such harmful microbes such as the bacteria streptococcus and staphylococcus share our environment with us, but are unable to cause problems until our immune system becomes compromised. Since doctors have no way of readily checking for the presence of such microorganism in the body, they blindly prescribe antibiotics as a cover. Unfortunately, in many cases, this results in far more harm than good.

Antibiotics operate in a blind fashion as they are unable to tell the difference between the beneficial microbes in our guts that form part of our immune system, and the deadly pathogens that may cause cough. The first course of antibiotics pre­ scribed usually provides some relief; but as the protective ben­ eficial microbes are destroyed as well, it becomes easier for the deadly microbes to recolonize the gut. And from the gut, these microbes spread to the rest of the body, especially the lungs. Antibiotics also damage the immune system by lower­ ing the sensitivity of protective white blood cells to the pres­

ence of harmful pathogens. Another important investigation that is neglected at hospitals is a screen for the presence of contaminants or toxins. These contaminants cause inflamma­ tion wherever they are found, and they are commonly found in the respiratory tract – pharynx, trachea, bronchi and lungs. I have had a lot of success treating chronic cough – not caused by microbes – with reishi extracts. Reishi is a mushroom, and is best known for its immune modulating effect – it can stimu­ late or suppress the immune system, depending on what the body desires, unlike something like the herb Echinacea that can only stimulate the immune system. Reishi also has healing effects on other systems of the body including the detox sys­ tem in charge of eliminating toxins from the body. My advice to you however will be to have a full health check, but unfortu­ nately such detailed health checks are not available at public hospitals. Such a scan however, is available at MedB. FOR A FULL BODY HEALTH CHECK AT MEDB, CALL DR MANNU: 965071745

Q

Having not long ago had a check­up for prostate can­ cer, the blood test came back normal. Would a blood test show up any cancer cells in the body? I was interest­ ed to hear about inflammation of the digestive tract. I sometimes get a bit of diarrhoea and my hips tend to ache. What sort of medication can you take for conditions like this? I detox by drinking lots of red fruit juices.

A

The blood test for prostate cancer does not check for prostate cancer cells, rather it measures the blood levels of a protein called PSA (prostate specific antigen). The PSA test was never intended as a screen for prostate cancer, but rather as a way to monitor those already suffering from prostate cancer. Nevertheless it´s a good thing yours came back negative. When blood PSA levels rises above 4 or 5 ng/dl, it is considered significant. A number of disorders of the

prostate gland other than prostate cancer can raise the levels of PSA. Prostatitis or inflammation of the prostate is a common problem in men, and can easily raise blood levels of PSA, and such a finding may prompt the investigating doctor to recom­ mend a biopsy, which in this case is completely unnecessary.

Ideally biopsies should only be carried out when absolutely necessary because they frequently cause damage to the gen­ ital and sexual organs. Other disorders that can cause an increase in PSA levels include an enlargement of the prostate, as well as activities such as riding a bicycle or having sex a day before the blood test. Diarrhoea can be triggered by many factors and inflammation is normally the underlying cause.

Have you had a change in your diet or taking a medication?

With diarrhoea, however, it is best to visit your doctor to rule out more sinister causes. Joint pains are usually caused by osteo­arthritis ­ a joint disorder that occurs when the cartilage that normally protects the end of bones, and prevents them from rubbing together, wears­off. Rather than prescribe anti­ inflammatories or pain killers that only stop pain, our approach at our clinic, is to encourage the body to regrow brand new car­ tilage. And we do this with the supplements ­ Laminine and MSM (Methyl Sulphonyl Methane). MSM is the natural form of organic sulphur in the body, and a necessary requirement for making the protein – Collagen, which is needed to maintain the structure of our bones, joints and skin. MSM rather than calcium is the required nutrient for maintaining healthy bones.

It is a strong anti­inflammatory agent, and can dramatically reduce the pain of severe arthritis within a few hours, when the right dose is taken. Laminine is unique for healing joint and bone pain because it promotes the regeneration of damaged cartilage and bone tissue. Laminine contains fibroblast growth factor which stimulates reserve cells in joints and bones called fibroblasts to regenerate new tissue. These supplements are available from MedB health shop. Call 965071745

Friday, February 28, 2014

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Friday, February 28, 2014

MORE BRICKS The Dolores­based S.A.T. Animal Rescue charity received a recent boost in their project to build some new kennels when they picked up a cheque for 200 Euros from Mike Smith, the President of the Rojales Pantomime Group. The money will go into the S.A.T. pot for their “Buy a Brick” project for their kennel expan­ sion.

S.A.T was founded in 1992 by a group of people of all nationalities who saw the need for a sanctuary for the abandoned dogs that roamed the streets of Torrevieja. Today, with its kennels at Dolores which can home up to 70 dogs, it is still a multi­national organisation and a registered charity with the Valencian Community. Their aim is to

Come comrades, come!

prevent unnecessary suffering for the many abandoned dogs within the Costa Blanca area, with the priority being to find them a new home.

Lions let their hair down

Torrevieja Costa Lions Club is getting ready for their birthday party with the annual celebration of the Club receiving its Charter. The formal black tie and dresses event will be in Quesada at the Clubhouse venue on the Marquesa Golf Course on Saturday April 5th. It begins at 7.00pm with a Cava and Canapes reception, followed by a three course dinner with wine in the Clubhouse Restaurant. Music and entertainment will be provided by PDQ, with tickets priced at 30 Euros each. For more details, including the menus, you contact the Lions Secretary Iain Bennett on idsbennett@hotmail.co.uk or by phoning 966 731 495

HELPING HAND

A new charity to help needy people in the La Marina and San Fulgencio area opens the doors of its fund­raising shop tomorrow (Saturday March 1st). The charity is called Asociacion de Ayuda al Necesitado de San Fulgencio, which plans to get food which will then be handed over to the Town Hall, who in turn will give it out to those families that need it the most.

The shop opens tomorrow at 10.00am and is on Plaza Sierra de Castilla on the La Marina Urb, close to Cagney’s Bar. They’ll be sell­ ing a wide range of second­ hand goods including furni­ ture, clothes and books. Any donations will be gratefully accepted, as well as volun­ teers who can give a few hours each week to help out in the shop. For more details, call Pauline on 660 934 615.

HARDY HONDON

15 hardy members of the Hondon Valley branch of the Royal British Legion wrapped themselves up nice and warm recently for a walk around Novelda, but in the end they were greeted by warm weather with every­ body not knowing what to do with their coats! The club organise a variety of social occasions, as well some of the more formal meetings at the Monte Alto Restaurant in Nieves.

For more details about the meetings and how to join the branch, phone 650 896 923 or E­mail:­ secretary.hondonvalley3577 @gmail.com.

An eastern wind blew into Torrevieja’s Parque de las Naciones with the local Slavic Union staging a Russian Day Gala.

There wasn’t so much of the vodka and caviar, but certainly some quality enter­ tainment, including Kyrgyztan­born

Galina Kuprivantseva dancing the famous Kalinka. And if you missed the fun, then don’t worry, because public demand has led to a full repeat perform­ ance being staged in the Parque from midday this Sunday!

Playing cats and dogs

The popular Buddy Holly tribute act, Woody, is back on stage again to help out the Cats N Dogs Aid Association at their Charity Night this coming Tuesday(March 4th). The event is on at the El Alto La Dolores Restaurant in Guardamar, with a BBQ meal costing 10 Euros. The evening starts at 7.00pm, and you can buy tickets from the restaurant itself; The Post Room, Benijofar; The Card Place, Benimar; and from the Cats and Dogs Charity shop in Quesada. The Cats N Dogs Aid Association started two years ago with the main aim to trap and then neuter feral cats before letting them go, as well as rescuing and re­homing abandoned dogs.

MONTE’S TREAT

Los Montesinos is staging a carnival in the main square this Saturday (March 1st), kicking off at 5.00pm. Prizes will be given to the best fancy dress costumes for both individuals and groups, with a special prize to be awarded to the largest group of people who’ve dressed up for the evening. A full programme of enter­ tainment has been lined up as well as the traditional treat of chocolates for every­ body to tuck into.

AFA BOOST

The Ladybirds Costa Blanca has come up trumps again with their lat­ est fundraising effort which was a Valentines Dinner and Dance at the Campoamor Golf Hotel.

Over 100 guests enjoyed the food and entertainment as well as being generous in buying the raffle tickets for a top selection of prizes donated by local business­ es. The great sum of 1 thousand Euros was raised which the Ladybirds have given to the Alzheimer’s Association in Torrevieja.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Focus on

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GUARDAMAR

STEVE IS SECOND2NONE! Second2none really know their furniture with the owner Steve and his family moving to Spain over 20 years ago, opening their 5 thousand square foot showroom back in August 2012.

Steve’s knowledge of the furniture trade means that he’s quickly built up a great reputation for honesty with customers from all countries who have made this region their home.

Second2none boasts an excellent choice in new and used beds and various other household items, with the company happy to buy quality used furniture from a single item to a full house clearance!

Second2none is based on the Santa Ana industrial estate, Guardamar del Segura (next to Picknpay), and you’ll get a warm welcome when you pay a visit to see what the kind of great deals they have on offer.

● We manage your building or resi­ dence. ● Advise on any subject having to do with your home or community. ● Carry out any type of claim in your home or community before the courts. ● Legally defend their rights, after professional agreement.

TIP TOP TEETH

If you’re looking for a pleasant dental experience, then why not try out the Centro Medico Alone on the Main Street in Guardamar?

With 13 years of experience across a range of medical treatments, the centre has really expanded its dental service over the last 3 years.

What do you have to lose? Using the best technology to give you a pain­free visit, the two surgeons will give you a friendly welcome as your first check is free of charge and there’s a free X­ray to check out those molars and pre­molars. With a friendly and relax­ ing atmosphere, your best possible oral health is guaranteed.

Don’t forget that the Centro Medico Alone offers a full general med­ ical service, in addition to things like foot treatment, physiotherapy, dermatology, nutrition and dietetics. It’s also the place to go to if you need a medical certificate for driving, boating or weapons licenses.

Centro Medico Alone is open weekdays from 9.30 a.m. to 1.30 p.m. and from 4.30 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. Follow them on Facebook: centromedicoalone; Twitter: alonedental and Google+ for the very latest offers and discounts.

COMPREHENSIVE CARE FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND The San Antón Veterinary Group was founded in 1990 with the idea of giving a prime quality veterinary service. From the beginning, we received the confidence of our regulars that helped improve the clinics day by day. San Anton group now has 8 clinics and a hospital open 24 hours a day. Covering the area from Orihuela Costa to La Marina, San Anton is one of the biggest veterinary groups in Spain. In San Anton 24hrs Hospital in Guardamar del Segura you’ll find everything that your pet may need. All the San Anton’s vets have the experience, knowl­ edge, and technology to treat your pet. All staff speak English, German, French, and Spanish. San Anton’s Hospital is fully equipped with all the modern and advanced appliances .

Permanent supervised hospitalization is available 24hours per day, 7 days per week. For any pet problems call today and you will receive help from one of the friendly staff at San Anton.

NEXUS FOR YOUR NEXT HOME Nexus Grupo have a team of excellent professionals dedicated to making finding your dream home an enjoyable and stress free experience. For more informa­ tion on all services provided by Nexus Grupo visit www.nexusgrupo.com

IF YOU WANT TO BUY OR SELL YOUR PROPERTY, WE´RE YOUR STATE AGENCY!

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Gangnam-style chicken wings

Friday, February 28, 2014

Ingredients 8 higher­welfare chicken wings 2 tablespoons hot chilli sauce 150 ml fresh cloudy apple juice 2 tablespoons runny honey 2 tablespoons sweet miso 1 thumb­sized piece of fresh ginger, peeled and finely grated 3 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely grated 8 spring onions, trimmed and finely sliced 3 tablespoons sesame seeds ½ a bunch of fresh coriander 1 fresh red chilli, finely sliced them in the sauce to coat, then cover the tray with tin Soak 8 small bamboo foil, making sure it's tightly skewers in water for at least sealed around the edges. an hour before you start Place in the hot oven for cooking, to stop them from around 1 hour 30 minutes, or catching. Preheat the oven until lightly golden and to 170°C/325°F/gas 3. Cut cooked through, removing the tips from the wings and the foil for the final 15 min­ stretch them out as much as utes. Meanwhile, place a possible, then push a skew­ small frying pan over a medi­ er through the length of each um heat, add the sesame wing to straighten and seeds and toast gently for 1 secure. to 2 minutes, or until golden.

Add the hot chilli sauce, Set aside. apple juice, honey, miso, When the chicken is done, ginger, garlic and half of the place the pan of sauce over spring onions to a roasting a low heat for around 5 min­ tray (roughly 25cm x 30cm). utes, or until thickened to a Mix well to combine, then nice consistency, stirring transfer half the sauce to a occasionally.

Meanwhile, small pan and set aside. place a griddle pan over a Place the chicken skewers high heat, then add the into the roasting tray, turning skewers and griddle for 3 to 4 minutes, or until crisp and dark, turning halfway – you may need to do this in batch­ es.

Transfer the wings to a serving platter, pouring over any juices from the tray.

Drizzle with the sauce, then pick over the coriander leaves. Top with the remain­ ing spring onions, fresh chilli and toasted sesame seeds.

Method

Friday, February 28, 2014

Rocajuna’s new look

The popular JP’s Rocajuna Bar and Restaurant in Punta Prima is now under new management offering top quality drinks, food and entertainment, courtesy of Jim and Liz. Owning the Rocajuna was a dream come true for the couple, who’ve been coming to Spain for most of their lives, and have now decided to make it their home!

Jim and Liz are pushing out the boat for a special Grand Opening Night on Thursday March 6th from 8.00pm with a free buffet and specially priced drinks, along with live music to make the whole evening go with a swing.

They’ve brought in a new chef, Jimmy, who used to own the La Tasca Restaurant on the Orihuela Costa. His dishes are all freshly pre­ pared which taste as good as they look and he specialises in making some truly mouth­ watering desserts.

Why not try out a fantastic Sunday Lunch at the Rocajuna? A main course will cost you just 7.95 Euros, with 2 courses for 8.95 Euros, with the full 3 course package on sale for just 10.95 Euros. And as an added bonus during March, if you have the 3 course

Sunday Lunch, then you get a FREE bottle of wine per couple. Children under 12 eat free with paying adults on the Sunday lunchtime, as well as for all bar meals.

You can get your grey matter working with the weekly Friday night quiz which starts from 8.00pm which also includes a small buf­ fet and some drinks promotions, and you get that bonus every Wednesday evening for the Fun Darts session, which also gets going at 8.00pm.

It’s not long to go before St Patrick’s Day, and the Rocajuna will be celebrating the big day on Monday March 17th with live music and some bargain drinks, with a chance for you to taste some traditional Irish bacon and cabbage for just 5 Euros from 4.00pm.

If you fancy a refreshing drink, then try a jug of traditional Sangria for only 5 Euros, and watch out for the Rocajuna opening up bright and early for breakfast in the near future. And if you want a place for a private party or wedding reception that will guaran­ tee you a good time, for reservations or any enquires please call Gerard the Bar Manager

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Friday, February 28, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

LYNX FOR MEN MORE PROTESTS

Spain’s football team should adopt the endangered Iberian Lynx as its mascot to draw attention to its precarious status: ­ that’s the view of a leading Spanish conser­ vationist, Astrid Vargas.

It’s just one of the ideas included in a new book published by the Spanish Society for the Conservation and Study of Mammals (SECEM). Scientists, journalists, lawyers, actors, entrepreneurs, landowners, environ­ mentalists and even hunters have come together to suggest ways to conserve the species, of which only 300 remain.

The Iberian Lynx (Lynx pardinus) is one of the most endangered mammals in the world, and lives exclusively in Spain and Portugal.

Experts say that if it were to become extinct, it would be the first feline species to do so since prehistoric times.

Vargas has an impressive CV when it

comes to saving animals, according to Spanish daily 20 Minutos. She is credited with saving the black­footed ferret from extinction in the United States. Then from 2003 to 2010 she led the first successful captive breeding programme for the Iberian lynx.

There would be no damage done to the macho self­image of Spain's footballers if the lynx were to be added to their red shirts. It is described as a handsome, strong, agile, quick and deadly predator. But the cat's numbers have declined due to loss of habi­ tat, traffic accidents and the effects of dis­ ease on its main food source, rabbits.

There has been no official word that Spain's Football Federation is considering using the lynx but an informal campaign has been started by some journalists and cam­ paigners.

“MUJERES” LEAD THE WAY

A record 800,000 businesses have been set up by Spanish women in the last five years, with females now accounting for 40% of all new business owners in Spain, double the proportion seen before the start of the economic depression.

In what has been described as a silver lining to the years of eco­ nomic turmoil, female­led start up’s have sprung up across the country, and more and more ven­ ture capitalists have been backing

fledgling businesses.

The new businesses have been set up despite the notoriously bureaucratic start up process in Spain. The country is in the bottom half of the World Bank ranking on the ease of starting a business, coming 142nd out of 189 countries. Typically, it takes 23 working days and around 1 thou­ sand Euros to start a business in Spain.

Thousands of people took to the streets of several Spanish cities last Sunday to protest against what they see as a major reduction of civil rights in the country.

Madrid, Valencia and Almeria were amongst the centres to see the protests which saw demonstrators calling for an end to the so­called 'gagging law', which will see fines of between 30,000 and 600,000 euros for staging protest marches, even peaceful ones, and for the proposed law restricting abortion to be abolished. Workers from the

Coca­Cola plants due to be shut down, including the one in Alicante, joined some of the protests.

Protestors claim that privitisation in Spain of everything from fire brigades to the health service and even blood transfusions will cost the State even more. Marchers demonstrated against price rises caused by tax hikes which mean, according to various overseas humanitarian organisations, a person in Spain does not even have to be unemployed to suffer poverty.

Spain has the largest amount of empty properties in Europe according to a new report, with 3.4 million unsold buildings that could house the whole of Europe’s homeless population of 4.1 million. Europe’s growing problem of homelessness could be solved at a stroke, say campaigners.

The study was done by a European­wide group called FEANSTA, that co­ordinates national campaigning groups fighting for the rights of homeless people. With 3.4 million vacant homes, Spain has more than Italy, estimated to have 2.2 million empty proper­ ties, and Germany, which has slightly less at 1.8 million.

Freek Spinnewijn from FEANTSA, said:­ “Even half of these empty properties would be enough to stop people from having to sleep in the streets.

The blame for the empty properties in Spain has been laid squarely at the feet of the housing market and its investors. Spain's construction bubble in the decade before the

beginning of the financial crisis was "fed largely by Britons and Germans buying homes in the sun," according to the report, leading to prices rising by 44 percent between 2004 and 2008.

María José Aldanas of Spanish housing and homelessness association Provivienda said: ­ "Spain is suffering from high numbers of repossessions and evictions, so we have reached a point where we have too many people without a home and many homes without people."

Banks have been accused of sitting on empty properties rather than lowering prices to sell them. Critics say that this is done deliberately to artificially inflate the assets column of banks' accounts above true mar­ ket value. Some councils have reportedly warned banks that they will be fined by up to 100 thousand Euros if repossessed homes remain empty for over two years while others have threatened that they will be compelled to hand them over for use as social housing.

Spain’s empty shame

Friday, February 28, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

SPARK OF DEATH Six family members including three children lost their lives in a house fire in Burgos on Saturday.

Firefighters and ambulances rushed to a holiday home in Tordomar, near the city of Burgos, to find the country house in flames and several people trapped inside, res­ cuers said.

"Medical personnel at the scene confirmed the death of six people ­­ three adults and three minors ­­ appar­ ently from smoke inhala­ tion," the regional emer­ gency services said in a statement. Medics took five survivors to hospital to be

treated for burns and smoke inhalation, including a seven­month­old baby boy and five year old girl.

Burgos government offi­ cial, Jose Maria Arribas, said the family were staying in the house for a celebration,

adding that he believed that the blaze was thought to have been started by a spark from a fireplace set­ ting fire to a sofa. Reports said that the children killed in the blaze were aged between four and six.

Vamos Ruth!

Murcia’s Ruth Lorenzo will represent Spain in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen.

Ruth, who finished fourth in the X Factor on ITV in 2008, will be flying the colours for Spain with Dancing in the Rain, which will be the first Spanish entry in many years to feature English lyrics.

Ruth, who is better known back in Britain, and actually turned down an offer from the BBC last autumn to rep­ resent the UK in this year’s Contest, was chosen out of five finalists by a profession­ al jury made up of estab­ lished Spanish pop artists, combined with a viewer vote, as part of a gala tele­ vised from Barcelona on La 1 last Saturday night. It was a tight affair with Lorenzo tied with another hopeful, Brequette, after the judges' votes but came out on top when the televoting figures were added.

At last year's Eurovision, in Sweden, the Spanish group, El Sueño de Morfeo – whose lead singer Raquel del Rosario is the ex­wife of racing driver Fernando

29

CAVE TREAT

One of Spain’s greatest historical sites was reopened for public visits yesterday but on a very restricted basis. The Altamira Cave in northern Spain and its incredible prehis­ toric paintings have been shut off from public sight for the last 12 years, but now restricted groups of five people a week will be allowed in for visits of just eight minutes. The restrict­ ed group numbers are to prevent the spread of micro­organisms due to human visitors.

The cave at Santillana del Mar, in the Cantabria region, was closed in 2002 after damage had been found to its polychrome prehistoric paintings which had been caused by the carbon dioxide in the breath of the large number of visitors. But last month, the foundation which manages the cave, declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO,

said it could reopen but only to limited groups of five people a week until August when the impact of the visits on the paintings would be reassessed.

The culture ministry in Madrid opened up the cave to a first group yesterday, which was selected at random among visitors to the nearby Museo de Altamira. Overall 192 visitors would be allowed in under the test programme, with everybody having to com­ ply with a strict dress code which involves wearing special suits, masks and shoes.

The cave whose walls are covered with paintings that include abstract shapes and animal subjects over a length of more than 270 metres was discovered in 1868. It was inhabited approximately 35,000 to 13,000 years ago.

CITIZENSHIP REFUSED Alonso – came second from bottom with Contigo hasta el final ('with you 'til the end') after earning just eight points from the voters.

Murcia­born Ruth Lorenzo was 26 when she made her mark on The X Factor, and her mentor, Dannii Minogue, called her 'an incredible vocalist' and 'the loveliest person she had ever worked with' on the programme.

That same season of the

show produced eventual winner, Alexandra Burke, and the pop band, JLS. Last year, Ruth wrote a new track called Because you are Beautiful for Minogue’s lat­ est “Best of Collection”, as well as releasing her own single 'The Night'. Ruth co­ wrote the Spanish Eurovision entry, Dancing in the Rain, with her British team of Julian Emery and Jim Irvin

A 31 year old Morroccan man who said that the province of Almeria was an independent country has been denied Spanish citizenship for the third time of asking. The man’s been living in Spain since 1996 and he had been hoping that Spain’s National Court would over­ turn earlier decisions made against him. But his appeal was quashed after he told a judge that Spain bordered the countries of "Almeria and Jonquera", a Catalan municipality near the French border.

The court ruled that while the Moroccan could speak Spanish well, he couldn't understand the questions asked of him and "lacked basic knowl­ edge about Spain's political system".

He "didn't know what the Constitution was" or "what elections were for" and

didn't know about tax returns or social security. This made it impossible to grant Spanish citizenship to the man who is married with two children, the court ruled.

The man, a resident of Catalonia, had previously seen citizenship bids fail in 2009 and 2012, El Público newspaper reported. The law says that when peo­ ple apply for Spanish citizenship, they must answer a series of questions demonstrating they have integrated into Spanish society. The interview takes about ten minutes and involves 30 questions. Applicants are expected to get a score of 27 or above. Last year, a Senegalese man was denied citizen­ ship after it emerged he didn't know the name of the wife of Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy.

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Friday, February 28, 2014

TENERIFE -YOUR PERFECT YEAR ROUND DESTINATION.

By Sally Bengtsson Tenerife is the largest of the seven Canary Islands, which form this Atlantic Ocean archipelago. This sun­kissed holi­ day hotspot, situated closer to Africa (300km away) than to Spain (1,000 km away), welcomes millions of people every year who are looking for relaxation, adventure, good times and fantastic weather!

The island of Tenerife measures 130 km long and is 90 km at its widest point. It offers a huge variety of scenery and landscapes, from the golden, sandy beaches in the south to the dramatic lunar landscape of Mount Teide National Park, with pine forests in the north and giant cliffs to the west.

Tenerife has something for everyone.

The wonderful climate draws people to the island all year round. Whether you are interested in water sports, clubbing, chilling out on the beach, the endemic plant life of the island, discovering hidden gems, exploring typical Canarian villages or taking a cable car to Spain’s highest peak, Teide, you are sure to have a great time.

The island’s well loved resorts such as Playa de las Americas, Los Cristianos, La Pineda, Puerto de la Cruz and La Caleta offer everything from peaceful, laid­back relax­ ation to full on thrills day and night. If you get tired of lying on the beach, find some shade in the exotic green oasis of the Jardín Botánico or make waves in Europe’s biggest water park – Siam Park.

In any Spanish destination, there’s always something fes­ tive happening. Tenerife is no exception, and though many events are designed with an eye towards the tourist trade, these are essentially local celebrations, some with a long history. Visitors are always welcome to join in. The carnival is one of the best in the whole of Spain, and is often com­ pared to the celebrations in Rio de Janeiro.

Puerto de la Cruz is the second largest tourist city on the island with accommodation for around 30,000 tourists. In contrast with the modern resorts of the south, El Puerto has had a great tradition as a place of relaxation since the end of the last century when the spa, which today is the Hotel Casino Tauro, was built. The accommodation offered in Puerto de la Cruz is also different from most of the other places on the islands since hotels predominate over apart­ ments. Holiday makers here come from all over the world, but it is still a favourite amongst Spaniards. The lushness of the gardens and the agreeable atmosphere are very special features of this city, which has lively places to stroll around.

In the evening the streets near the Plaza del Charco and the promenade are pleasant places of enjoyment where one can eat at any of the many open air restaurants, all this in a pleasant climate and with the ever present sea. The city houses a number of buildings of great historical and artistic value such as the church of Nuestra Señora de la Peña, la Ermita de San Telmo, el castillo de San Felipe, la casa de la Aduana and the old quay where small fishing boats are still moored.

One of the greatest attractions of el Puerto is without doubt the Lago Martianez. This series of seawater pools conceived by the Canary artist Cesar Manrique forms an extraordinary spot for bathing and resting in the sun.

Harmonising his architecture with the exotic vegetation of the volcanic coast Cesar Manrique created his most beauti­ ful project.

Besides the Lago, Puerto de la Cruz has small beaches of volcanic sand, the best ones being Playa Jardin and Martianez. On the outskirts of the city the botanical gardens and the Loro Park are a must for the nature lovers. The botanical gardens founded in 1788 harbour an enormous number of trees and plants from every corner of the planet thanks to the benign climate of Tenerife. Loro Park is anoth­ er tropical garden with the largest collection of parrots in the world, a parrot show and an excellent dolphinarium.

The bustling capital city of Santa Cruz is located on the eastern tip of Tenerife and is home to one of the most histor­ ically important harbours in the Atlantic Ocean. The city rap­ idly developed in the 19th century, as fleets bound for the Americas would regularly stop here, helping to firmly fix this destination on the world map. Today, it is a vibrant and cos­ mopolitan hive of activity, full of interesting places to visit, attractive architecture, great shopping and an abundance of

excellent restaurants. The harbour is a gateway into main­ land Spain and a stop off point for cruise liners travelling to the Caribbean.

One great way to explore the city is by taking an open­top bus tour where you can jump on and off, taking in important landmarks en route. Culture is alive and well in Santa Cruz and among the riches on offer are the Auditorio de Tenerife, the Parliament buildings of the Canary Islands, several La Laguna University faculties, not to mention the exciting shopping area in Plaza de España on the seafront, which leads up to Plaza de la Candelaria (Square of Candelaria), where you can buy international brands at tax free prices. In addition, the tourist board is located in the city and here you can collect maps, street plans and other information.

Santa Cruz is also home to Playa de las Teresitas, an unspoiled beach that remains resolutely beautiful with palm trees dotted around the large expanse of golden sand. It sits below the lush forests of the Anaga Mountains, which pro­ tect the bay from winds. The turquoise waters are lovely and calm; you can play volleyball, take part in aerobic classes if you are feeling active or simply relax in the sunshine.

Playa de Las Americas Beach is a tourist Mecca built at the end of the 1960’s. It is adjacent to Los Christianos and the Adeje Coast. The year round sunshine, never­ending night life and calm waters have made these two beach resorts a firm favourite amongst Brits and other Northern Europeans.

Massive development has allowed Las Americas to constantly reinvent itself over the years from the heady booze and fun vacations of the 80´s to today’s pedes­ trian quarters lined with first rate hotels and restaurants. A mix and match setup that appears to appeal to all segments holidaymakers and vacationers alike. With some streets full of British pubs, fish and chips restaurants, pizza parlours and other fast food establishments – it’s like being at home for Brits who are not keen on Spanish food.

The island has so much to offer the visitor. Rent a car and travel around this fascinating island. You are sure to find something to take your breath away.

Friday, February 28, 2014

UK HEADLINES

31

COWARDLY KILLERS TO ROT IN JAIL

The widow of murdered soldier Lee Rigby told a judge of her endless heartache Wednesday – just moments before his brutal killers were dragged kick­ ing and screaming to jail.

In an emotional impact statement read to the court, Rebecca Rigby, 31, said she and her two­ year­old son Jack had been left devastated by her husband’s death.

But she vowed: “Lee will never be forgotten. We will always love him and miss him every day.”

She added: “I know my son will grow up and see images of his dad that no son should have to endure and there is nothing I can do to change it.

“We both talked about the dangers of Afghanistan and we braced ourselves for it. We live in the Army and have seen death happen to people and we know the risks. When you wave someone off you accept there is a chance you never see them again.

"You don’t expect to see this on the streets of the UK.” Her dignified statement was in sharp contrast to the scenes that followed as Lee’s murderers had to be bundled down the stairs at the Old Bailey’s Court No 2 after scuffling with officers in the dock.

Michael Adebolajo, 29, and Michael Adebowale, 22, shouted “Lies, lies!”, “No betrayal!” and “Allahu Akhbar! (God is great)” as nine prison guards took two minutes to restrain them.

The pair were eventually carried by their hands and feet to the cells.

Their violent outburst came after Mr Justice Sweeney told them they had betrayed Islam by moving down Lee in a car then hacking him to death in a horrifying daylight attack.

Ringleader Adebolajo, of Lewisham, South East London, will die behind bars after being given a whole life sentence.

Adebowale, of Greenwich, South East London, was given life with a recommendation that he serves at least 45 years.

The judge said Adebowale had played a lesser role, was younger and had a mental condition.

Lee’s stepdad Ian Rigby said in an impact statement: “After all he had been through in Afghanistan, all Lee was doing was walking through London. After seeing the TV and seeing the violence, we just can’t comprehend it. We take it all in, but it doesn’t clock in your head.”

BOTTOM OF THE CLASS

Blundering council work­ ers can expect to be kept behind after class ­ after misspelling a road sign they painted outside a primary

school.

Contractors were asked to alter the street layout outside Highfield Primary School in Chester in a bid

to improve rush­hour traffic problems.

But after resurfacing the road, workers then man­ aged to spell 'Keep Clear' as 'Keep Claer' in bright yellow paint.

Red­faced officers at Cheshire West and Chester Council said they are look­ ing into what went wrong, the Chester Chronicle reports.

The mishap comes just months after council work­

men made a similar mis­ take with road markings nearby.

Council officers in Chester also mistakenly painted no parking signs outside a care home believ­ ing it was a school Yellow zig zag lines were painted outside a site for older people’s accommoda­ tion in error and quickly had to be painted over.

Workers apparently thought the care home was still a school, even though it closed in 2008 and was later demolished.

Rebecca and Lee’s fiancee, Aimee West, began sobbing as the scuffle broke out and the dock.

Passing sentence, the judge told Adebolajo and Adebowale: “You each converted to Islam some years ago.

"Thereafter you were radicalised and each became an extremist espousing a cause and views which, as has been said elsewhere, are a betrayal of Islam and of the peaceful Muslim communities who give so much to this country.”

It was at this point the killers began shouting and struggling with officers.

As they were carted off, Mr Justice Sweeney continued: “You decided to murder a soldier in public in broad daylight and to do so in a way that generated maximum media coverage, including getting yourselves killed by armed officers who were bound to attend the scene, thereby expecting that you would become mar­ tyrs and each gain a place in paradise.”

Both men were only wounded when police opened fire – and officers immediately administered first aid before ambulancemen arrived.

Describing Lee as an “outgoing and popular personality”, the judge added: “You butchered him, going far beyond what was needed to murder him. It is no exaggeration to say that what the two of you did resulted in a bloodbath.

“Aspects were seen, as they were intended to be, by the public. You both gloried in what you had done.”

The judge praised members of the public who bravely tried to halt the “sickening and pitiless” attack.

And he told the killers: “Neither of you has any real insight into the enormity of what you did, nor any genuine remorse.

Your only regret is that you did not succeed in your plan to be shot dead which resulted in you being brought to justice before the court.

“I am equally sure in each of your cases that this was a murder with a terrorist connection.”

Outside court, a noisy protest was stagedby about 200 members of the far right English Defence League who waved Union Jacks and chanted “bring back hanging”.

The pair were found guilty last December of murder but the judge waited until today to pass sentence.

This was in the light of a European Court ruling that whole life sentences could not be passed because they infringed human rights.

However, this ruling was overturned in the Appeal Court last week by five judges, including the Lord Chief Justice Lord Thomas, who said whole life terms in the most serious cases could be passed.

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 There are plenty of opportunities out there, and you’re tempted to seize every one of them. Well, Aries, a bit of discrimi­ nation is in order if you’re going to make the best use of the auspicious atmos­ phere. Travel is definitely in the picture, as is continuing your education in some way. It could be something simple, such as enrolling in a cooking class at an adult education center.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 You’re likely to receive a windfall of some sort today. Be cautious with it, Taurus. If you invest it wisely, it will serve you long and well. Your curiosity has been piqued about some rather esoteric subjects, per­ haps the dark arts. Why not visit your local library to check out some books on these topics of interest?

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 A change of scene is in store for you, Gemini. It’s unclear whether or not this is a voluntary move, but it’s clear that chaos and confusion reign over the next few days. There is much to be done.

Fortunately, your organizational abilities will serve you well. You don your general's hat, wield your clipboard like a sword, and get everybody doing your bidding. The move is completed in record time!

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 It’s possible that you could fear for your job today, Cancer. Fortunately, those fears are unfounded. There is a lot of upheaval occurring at work. You’re best advised to steer clear of it, if you can. If you continue to do your job well, you’re likely to receive a bonus or promotion as a result of your efforts. You've earned it.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 It's hard to deny the power of a chemical reaction to another person. You’ll likely meet someone today or perhaps you've just met someone who has a strong influ­ ence on you, Leo. You can’t get this person out of your mind. It isn’t clear whether this is a one­time fling or a long­term romance.

Whatever it turns out to be, you’re thrilled to be feeling so excited and alive.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 “The person who dies with the most toys wins” may well be your philosophy, Virgo.

And today you certainly move ahead in the race as you add yet another techno­ logical wonder to your home. What is it this time? A scanner, digital camera, DVD player, or all of the above? It's a small indulgence for all the hard work you do. If these things really give you such pleas­ ure, then you deserve to have them.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Today you could sit down at the computer for just a minute to research something on the Internet and wind up spending most of the afternoon entranced by what you're reading, Libra. You could very well stumble upon some information on the occult and mysticism. It’s always fasci­ nated you, and now that you've begun learning, you don't want to stop.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 You’ve always had a knack for all things financial, Scorpio, but today your ability is especially enhanced. You’ve discovered all the free investing information available over the Internet, and you absorb it like a sponge.

Your natural fiscal sense enables you to sep­ arate the nonsense from the sound invest­ ment advice. Your portfolio and your mood benefit immediately!

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Keep your eyes wide open today, Sagittarius, as you may meet the person of your dreams! Or you could stumble, literally, upon a stack of cash. It’s likely to be a most unusual day, so keep your wits about you and your mind open to all possibilities. If an intriguing new business opportunity comes your way, don't accept it right immediately.

Take down all the information and review it when life has settled down somewhat.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 A change of profession may be in the stars for you, Capricorn, or a change of hobby at the very least. The latest technological advances have really captured your inter­ est. Making films, in particular, gets your creative juices flowing. Perhaps it's time to sign up for a weekend workshop or splurge on that video camera you've been eyeing.

The diversion will do you a world of good.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 You’re likely to be feeling the tug of distant lands, Aquarius. Today you could stop at the travel agent’s office, the one you've walked by countless times, and stare at the pictures. Thailand, Hong Kong, and New Zealand are just a few of the places you'd like to see. The pictures look so enticing.

Go ahead. Plan such a trip, although it’s likely to be only a temporary diversion.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Change, even when it's for the better, can sometimes be a little scary, Pisces. You could feel some hesitation about taking a new job or upgrading your home.

Nevertheless, you’re being given a terrific opportunity. If you don't seize it, you’ll like­ ly regret it for the rest of your life. What's occurring is for the best, so stretch your arms up high and reach for that brass ring!

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Friday, February 28, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Ken received some suspicious phone calls from ADVICE: Bill wanted to know why his .mp3 files wouldn’t someone purporting to be from Microsoft play on his car CD player.

Hi Richard, two weeks ago we had our Hotmail account hacked in to.

About eighty various bogus emails were sent to our contacts but as far as we know no damage has been done. The hacking was reported to Microsoft by a friend as soon as he received his bogus email.

Microsoft instructed us to change our password immediately which we did and so far we have had no further problems with our account. However, today we have received three phone calls from a company purporting to be working in conjunction with Microsoft stating that there are a num­ ber of problems with our computer and wanting us to run through a series of instructions from them over the phone to correct these problems. Obviously, we were suspicious that this was a scam and did not comply. When we received the third call we told them we would inform the police if they continued calling. Hopefully, that will be the end of it but perhaps you could warn others through your weekly column in the Courier. Thanks. Ken

Q

Hi Ken, yep, they seem to be doing the rounds again, I have had 2 phone calls from customers just today asking me whether this is a scam or not – yes it is, please don’t let them get access to your computer.

We covered this scam a few months ago, to read the full article, go to www.bluemoonsolutions.es/the­were­microsoft­scam

A

ADVICE: Sue wanted to know how to set a Windows password for her computer

Q

Hi Richard. I recently purchased a language program from America I was informed I could download it into a format that could be played on any CD or car CD player the problem I have is I have downloaded it to MP3 format and while it plays on my laptop it will not play on my car or home CD player HELP REQUIRED PLEASE. Bill.

Hi Bill, conventional CD players require their files to be in .wav format, not .mp3 – this is why you are having problems. You can either replace your car CD player with a newer version which will almost certainly play .mp3 files or you can convert your music from .mp3 to .wav – this is pretty simple by using freely available software from the Internet. www.zamzar.com is one site that will convert files from pretty much any format to any other format, there are many other sites out there, have a quick Google to find them.

You will also find that when you convert your files, they grow in size as .mp3 files are very compressed, so you will be able to fit less music on your CD’s

A

Hi after having prob­ lems with my laptop (Compaq Presario CQ57) following its use by a friend, I ended up having Windows 7 reinstalled.

Now I don't have to log in to Windows to access the inter­ net and feel a bit insecure without the login. Any advice would be more than welcome.

Q

Hi Sue, ok, so it’s a Windows login that you are talking about (it’s not related to the Internet, just your computer), if you want to add a Windows password, just press CTRL and ALT and DELETE down at the same time and choose “Set Password”

A

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Now THAT'S top gear A supercar has become the world's fastest produc­ tion model after reaching a top speed of 270mph.

American firm Hennessey has claimed for some time that its Venom GT is the fastest thing on four wheels.

But until now the firm had­ n't been able to attempt beating the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport's record­break­ ing 269mph because it was on VW's private test track.

However, it emerged today that the Texan manu­ facturer was given access to Nasa's space shuttle land­ ing runway in Florida for a one­off blitz in the 1,200bhp machine.

The Venom GT managed to reach 270.49mph com­ pared to the average top speed of 200mph in a Formula 1 car.

The speed makes it slight­ ly quicker than the 269.86mph achieved by Bugatti in 2010.

The record was revealed to TopGear.com, with test pilot Brian Smith telling the

among the 11 people to take delivery so far.

Romans International, the high end sports car dealer­ ship in Surrey, sold the UK's only Venom GT last year.

VENOM GT: THE VITAL STATISTICS

website that the car was capable of going even faster.

He said: 'At the very top end, there was a little wan­ dering, but hey, we're going 270mph.

'It was still pulling. If we could run on an eight­mile oval, we could go faster than that.'

Smith claims he could get another 5­10mph out of the Venom GT, but the runway in Florida was just 3.22 miles long.

Bugatti, meanwhile, can make use of Volkswagen's Ehra­Lessien test track which has a straight of 5.5 miles.

Despite the jaw­dropping

top speed ­ which is almost four times the UK motorway and three times the highest US highway speed limit ­ the Venom GT won't be entering next year's Guinness World Record book.

They only took the car on one run, and for a record to stand, the driver must per­ form two runs.

Nasa would only allow the one run so, for now, the Veyron Super Sport retains

WORLD'S TOP TEN FASTEST CARS

1. Hennessey Venom GT: 270 mph (434 km/h) 2. Bugatti Veyron Super Sport: 269 mph (431 km/h) 3. Koenigsegg Agera R: 260 mph (418 km/h) 4. SSC Ultimate Aero: 257 mph (413 km/h) and the 9ff GT9­R: 257 mph (413 km/h) 5. Saleen S7 Twin­Turbo: 248 mph (399 km/h) 6. Koenigsegg CCX: 245 mph (394 km/h) 7. McLaren F1: 240 mph (386 km/h) 8. Zenvo ST1: 233 mph (374 km/h), 9. Pagani Huayra: 230 mph (370 km/h) 10.Gumpert Apollo and Noble M600: both at 225 mph (362 km/h)

the official top spot.

The £800,000 Hennessey Venom GT is powered by a twin­turbocharged, 7­litre V8 engine which develops a whopping 1,244bhp.

This gives it a 0­62mph time of just 2.7 seconds. In Florida, it went from 20mph to 120mph in 7.71 seconds.

Since its launch in 2011, it has been praised by the motoring press while Steve Tyler, from Aerosmith, is

The £800,000 Hennessey Venom GT is powered by a twin­turbocharged, 7­litre V8 engine which develops a whopping 1,244bhp.

This gives it a 0­62mph time of just 2.7 seconds.

In Florida, it went from 20mph to 120mph in 7.71 seconds.

Since its launch in 2011, it has been praised by the motoring press while Steve Tyler, from Aerosmith, is among the 11 people to take delivery so far.

The car reached 270.49mph ­ making it slightly quicker than the 269.86 achieved by Bugatti in 2010.

Pilot Brian Smith claims he could have got another 5­10mph out of the car, but the runway in Florida was just 3.22 miles long.

Friday, February 28, 2014

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36

Friday, February 28, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 3 represents G and 17 represents F, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Of sound mind (4) 3 Virtuoso (6) 7 See 2 Down 9 Command (5) 10 Change (5) 11 Sediment (5) 12 Offspring (5) 14 Run away (5) 15 Balanced (6) 16 Confusions (3­3) 19 Freshwater fish (5) 22 Short, high­pitched sound (5) 23 Excuse (5) 24 Widespread praise (5) 25 Spicy dish (5) 27/26 Hide out (3,3)

28 Small sofa (6) 29 Branch (4)

Down 1 Tales (7) 2/7A Fall asleep (3,3) 4 Obliterate (5) 5 Put forward (9) 6 Wait on (5) 7 Severe trial (6) 8 Give food to (4) 13 Whipping boy (9) 17 Drink (6) 18 Young tree (7) 19 Fake (5) 20 Perhaps (5) 21 Invoice (4) 26 See 27 Across

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Traps, 4 Count, 8 Loose ends, 9 Run, 10 Ewer, 11 Useless, 12/16 Far cry, 13 Fake, 15 Data, 18 Service, 19 Barn, 22 Tea, 23 Intricate, 24 Siege, 25 Links.

Down: 1 Taller, 2 Adore, 3 Seek, 4 Concur, 5 Unsteady, 6 Torment, 7 Ends, 12 Feminine, 14 Arrears, 16 Centre, 17 Unless, 18 Sett, 20 Again, 21 Bill.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Sell love­in­a­mist (4) 4 Seaside performer is a great hit (5) 9 Enduring the French bite (7) 10 A vet's engineered a match (5) 11 Could break cover (5) 12 Quite handsome, but in a hurry (7) 13 Rewrote resort sched­ ule (6) 15 Underpants for dogs (6) 19 Coach scruffy cheater (7) 21 Latest propaganda con­ tains the name of the infi­ del (5) 23 Filling decoration (5) 24 Ship's cooking pot (7) 25 Alcoholic drinks dam­ aged sinew (5) 26 Shake hands and admit false alarm (4)

Down 2 Catch the girl with noth­ ing on (5) 3 The key to the puzzle is a cooking utensil (7) 4 Temple where father is filled with a divine spirit (6) 5 One visitor takes in West Indian island (5) 6 Posh ice mixture for nursing home (7) 7 More polished without Kay using bread­knife (6) 8 Prohibition? Gee, a blow!

(4) 14 Devour a small bird (7) 16 Classical musician composing her opus (7) 17 Dispatched with railway guard (6) 18 Snatches some short breaks after the start of work (6) 19 Grind? Put right finally with lubrication (4) 20 Composer tryin' to be invisible, we hear (5) 22 Greek letter about magma (5)

STANDARD CLUES Down Across 2 Lariat (5) 1 Beat with a whip (4) 3 Pancake maker (7) 4 Strike with the fist (5) 4 Asian temple (6) 9 Existing for a long time (7) 5 One of the Leeward 10 Goddess of the hearth Islands (5) (5) 6 Health­care facility (7) 11 Cirrus or cumulus (5) 7 Machine for cutting (6) 12 Lively and spirited (7) 8 Strike violently (4) 13 List of employees (6) 14 Devour (7) 15 Underpants worn by 16 Mythical Greek musician men (6) and poet (7) 17 Gate attendant (6) 19 Educator (7) 18 Obtain by seizing 21 Heathen (5) forcibly (6) 23 Decorative work (5) 19 Work hard (4) 24 Cooking utensil (7) 20 Austrian composer (5) 25 Alcoholic drinks (5) 22 Greek letter (5) 26 Close hermetically (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Hi­fi, 3 Drip­feed, 9 Go ahead, 10 Rouen, 11 Bleak, 12 Austin, 14 Oblong, 16 Meagre, 19 Formal, 21 Dubai, 24 Ovoid, 25 Verbose, 26 Settlers, 27 Smut.

Down: 1 Highbrow, 2 Flame, 4 Red rag, 5 Pores, 6 Eluding, 7 Deny, 8 Reckon, 13 Regiment, 15 Lookout, 17 Elders, 18 Sliver, 20 Model, 22 Bloom, 23 Nods.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words As Hi Up Us 3 letter words Act Ale All Ant Are Art Bra Can Car End Era Get Kin

Loy Nae Oft One Ore Pen Ply Pro Ran Sap Sex Sob Tor Tut Wan Was Yew 4 letter words Ages Ally

Aloe Area Bang Bony Cone Core Dace Disc Elan Free Kepi Lash Last Lisp Lure Mane Mare Oops Para Rate Rend

Sage Sear Sold Sole Sore Sort Step Suds Taxi Tent Yeti 5 letter words Bones Crept Decoy Haste Inane Minor Nasal Orate

Sales Sauce Sprag Strew 6 letter words Absurd Classy Harass Mantra Pander Settee 7 letter words Collate Seaside 8 letter words Entering Supinate

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Ribbon (5) 4 Semillas (5) 7 Farmer (8) 8 Equipo (deporte) (4) 9 Apron (garment) (8) 11 Kiss (4) 12 Stain (mark) (6) 14 Bastante (6) 16 Bears (animals) (4) 18 Tablet (medicine) (8) 20 Box (4) 21 Options (8) 23 Asientos (muebles) (5) 24 To weigh (person, apples) (5)

Down 1 Plum (fruit) (7) 2 Never (not ever) (5) 3 Bird (large) (3) 4 Hombros (9) 5 Cowshed (7) 6 Cisnes (aves) (5) 10 Cucharillas (9) 13 Chestnut (fruit) (7) 15 To strike (hit) (7) 17 Jabones (5) 19 Planchas (utensilios) (5) 22 Copa (trofeo, com­ petición) (3)

37

Friday, February 28, 2014 Across 1 Light sweet yeast­ raised roll usually filled with fruits or cheese (6,6) 9 Athletic event associat­ ed with Steve Backley, Fatima Whitbread and Tessa Sanderson (7) 10 Needlessly time­con­ suming procedure (3,4) 11 Suspension bridge across New York harbour between Brooklyn and Staten Island, the longest in the world when it was com­ pleted in 1964. (9) 12 Last letter of the Greek alphabet (5) 13 Presiding officer in a legislative assembly, espe­ cially the House of Commons (7) 15 Performer whose act involves being the butt of a comedian’s jokes (6) 18 English comedian, novelist and actor, best known for her roles in

Grumpy Old Women between 2004 and 2007 and in Loose Women in 2011 and 2012, Jenny ­­­­­­ (6) 20 Children’s toy consist­ ing of a set of metal and plastic components for making mechanical models (7) 24 Jewelled headdress worn by women on formal occasions (5) 25 Completely controlled by an evil spirit (9) 27 Outline of something, especially a person’s face, as seen from one side (7) 28 Port in northern France, on the English Channel at the mouth of the Seine (2,5) 29 One of the original 13 states of the Union in 1787, whose capital is Harrisburg (12)

SUDOKU (Medium)

Quiz Word

Down 1 Feeling of having already experienced the present situation, from

French for ‘already seen’ (4,2) 2 Popular song recorded

by Johnny Mathis, Cliff

Richard and Donny Osmond: The Twelfth of ­­­­ ­ (5) 3 Pale yellow seedless grape used for raisins and wine (7) 4 Thin, flat patties of bat­ ter, fried on both sides in a pan and typically rolled up with a sweet or savoury fill­ ing (8) 5 Talk on a religious or moral subject, especially one given during a church service and based on a passage from the Bible (6) 6 Organiser and enter­ tainer at a Butlin’s holiday camp (7) 7 Legislative capital of South Africa (4,4) 8 Small croquette of mashed chick peas or fava beans seasoned with sesame seeds (7) 14 Design consisting of a pattern of regularly spaced

circular spots (5,3) 16 The secret state police in Nazi Germany (7) 17 Adjective meaning devious misleading or sneaky (8) 19 Second album by John Lennon, recorded and released in 1971 (7) 21 Surname of Russian dramatist and short­story writer whose works include: The Seagull, Uncle Vanya, The Three Sisters and The Cherry Orchard (7) 22 Abdominal organ involved in the production and removal of blood cells in most vertebrates and forming part of the immune system (6) 23 Accessory or adjoin­ ing anatomical parts or appendages to an organ, especially of the embryo (6) 26 Number of players in a netball team (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

El Carnaval

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

divertirse

la música

el desfile

las banderas

el disfraz

las piratas

el payaso

las plumas

el sombrero

los bailes

la carroza

los indios

la fiesta

los puestos

music QUIZ

ANSEWRS:1. 1991 2. Paranoid 3. Instant Replay 4. Echo And The Bunnymen 5. A) Waking Hours 6. Edvard Grieg 7. Reg Presley Of The Troggs 8. La Scala 9. 10CC / Things We Do For Love 10. Whitney Houston 11. Stu Sutcliffe 12.

Haddaway 13. I'm A Believer 14. U2

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Antimacassar, 10 Acronym, 11 Groucho, 12 Chafe, 13 Cold Feet, 15 Chardonnay, 16 Tsar, 18 Rick, 20 New Orleans, 22 Odometer, 24 Ultra, 26 Amphora, 27 Midwest, 28 Raise the roof.

Down: 2 Nirvana, 3 Innuendo, 4 Alms, 5 Anglo­Saxon, 6 Snood, 7 Rickets, 8 Lance corporal, 9 Poste restante, 14 Inveterate, 17 Flounder, 19 Chopper, 21 Art deco, 23 E coli, 25 Amah.

la mascara Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.divertirse, 2.el desfile,

15.los puestos

i.the mask, j.the clown, k.the parade, l.the float,

3.el disfraz, 4.el payaso, a.the dances, b.the costume,

m.the party, n.the flags,

7.la fiesta, 8.la mascara,

c.the hat, d.the pirates,

o.the parade, p.the music,

9.la música, 10.las banderas,

e.the indians, f.the feathers,

11.las piratas, 12.las plumas,

g.the stalls,

13.los bailes, 14.los indios,

h.to have a good time,

5.el sombrero, 6.la carroza,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Answers: 1h, 2o, 3b, 4j, 5c, 6l, 7m, 8i, 9p, 10n, 11d, 12f, 13a, 14e, 15g.

1. In Which Year Did Micheal Jackson Top The Charts With The Song 'Black Or White'?

2. Name Black Sabbath's Debut Hit? 3. Name Dan Hartman's first hit?

4. Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter Which Group Am I? 5. What Was The Name Of Del aAmitri's Hit Album A) Waking Hours, B) Speak & Spell C) Anytime Anywhere?

6. Who was asked in 1874 by Henrik Ibsen to write inci­ dental music to Peer Gynf?

7. Who Wrote And Had A Hit With 'Love Is All Around' In 1967?

8. What is Milan's opera house called?

9. From the 1970's which song and artist ', You lay your bets and then you pay the price''?

10. Dionne Warwicks Cousin Is A Famous Vocalist Name Her? 11. Who thought up the name 'Beatles'?

12. Who Found Chart Success With 'Rock My Heart'?

13. What Was The Only No.1 Single For The Monkees?

14. Rattle And Hum' Was A Hit Album For Which Group?

Quizword

Fill It In

38

Friday, February 28, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY EDGE OF DESPAIR

judgements about something that was rubbish in the first place. Last weekend, having nothing better to do, I started surfing around the hundreds of channels that I can pick up (98% of which I’ve never watched) and I stumbled across the game show chan­ nel Challenge which was showcasing some “classic” repeats dating back over 30 Friday night drama on ITV years. One of those pro­ these days means rubbish grammes was the nauseat­ and when a new show is ing 3­2­1, which beyond any trundled out in the mid­ reason of sane human com­ evening slot at the end of and Camille Coduri did the into a ritualistic killer. prehension was a massive the week, you sadly know series purely for the money, McConaughey’s cop charac­ Saturday night for ITV for that a fresh turkey is cluck­ and everybody that is associ­ ter is just plain weird, and nearly a decade. Besides ated with this tripe should be even stranger when we see laughing at the dreadful pro­ ing.

The channel hasn’t failed hanging their heads in him some 18 years later, as duction values of a late sev­ to disappoint with Edge of shame. the story plays in flashback. enties edition that had been Heaven set in an eighties­ In complete contrast, I Just watch and really enjoy, dusted off the shelves for a themed guesthouse in was in need of copious though there were a number rare airing, I had my initial Margate: ­ I’m not making amounts of water, whilst tak­ of occasions I had to “wind views confirmed that this was this up! It’s like a poor ver­ ing in the dry Louisiana air on back” because the southern simply an appalling pro­ sion of Benidorm (that’s say­ the debut of acclaimed US accents took a fair bit of pick­ gramme. Ironically, it was a ing something these days), drama, True Detective on copy of a popular Spanish TV ing up! with jokes that I would have Sky format, but the dreadfully Atlantic.

Matthew The mists of time can acted sketches; scripted ad­ written on a bad day for my McConaughey and Woody often make us fond of libs; and the incomprehensi­ school stage shows in the Harrelson give us an acting seventies. I can only pre­ master class in a smoulder­ old tv shows that were really ble cryptic clues, along with sume that good comedy per­ ing tale of an investigation poor, but occasionally those the awful Dusty Bin and the formers like Blake Harrison mists don’t cloud any early sickly host, Ted Rogers made

with ALEX TRELINSKI

me cringe and guffaw at why anybody can have watched something as awful as this in the first place. Fast forward to today, and as two good examples, we have excellent shows like Pointless and The Chase which are entertaining and devoid of patronising clap­trap, along with presen­ ters Alexander Armstrong and Bradley Walsh who are completely natural and unscripted. So please don’t trundle out the old line of how much better TV was in the old days, because it largely wasn’t!

q

Well done to old X Factor favourite and Murcia lady, Ruth Lorenzo for

winning Spain’s nod to repre­ sent the country in May’s Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen. I’m not con­ vinced about the song but Ruth can certainly sing, which was clearly the view of the BBC last autumn, who offered her the UK slot, which she turned down in favour of gambling on winning the Spanish selection contest against four rivals.

Meanwhile back at the UK ranch, all of us Brits have to contend with are some dreadful rumours that the awful Geri Halliwell is in the frame to carry the torch of failure this spring. Words fail me!

q

q

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Hospital Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 Jonathan Creek 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:20 01:50 02:50 05:00

The Restaurant Man Panorama This World This Is BBC Two Schools

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:10 Homes Under the Hammer 08:10 Countryside 999 08:55 Caught Red Handed 09:25 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds 10:10 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:10 The Travel Show 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 Andrew Marr's The Making of Modern Britain 15:45 Cagney & Lacey 16:30 Bergerac 17:20 Are You Being Served?

17:50 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 Great Continental Railway Journeys 20:00 The Planners 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Coming Home 22:00 The Pity of War 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 The Cube 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Edge of Heaven 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 The Americans

JONATHAN CREEK New series. Alan Davies returns as the master illu­ sionist, who has retired from crime­solving to join the corporate world with wife Polly. However, he is soon tempted back to help investigate a seemingly impossible attack on a West End actress ­ and he's not alone, as a criminology student tags along for a spot of `work experience'. At the same time, a personal tragedy for Jonathan and Polly uncovers a series of dark and disturbing secrets.

00:05 24 Hours in A&E 01:10 One Born Every Minute 02:05 Random Acts 02:10 First Dates 03:05 Scandimania 04:00 Food Unwrapped 04:30 Location, Location, Location 05:30 Dispatches 06:00 Deal or No Deal 06:55 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:20 Countdown 08:05 Will & Grace 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Come Dine with Me 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdown to Crufts 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 The Last Leg 23:50 Jimmy Carr: Making People Laugh

February 28

00:00 Extraordinary People 00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Big, Bigger, Biggest 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olly the Little White Van 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Benidorm ER 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Black Friday 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 Soho Blues 23:00 NCIS: Los Angeles

39

The Courier Saturday TV

March 1

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Jules Verne's Rocket to the 00:25 Pound Shop Wars 00:55 EastEnders 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:00 Football Focus 13:45 Sportsday 14:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 14:15 Cycling 15:45 Bargain Hunt 16:30 Escape to the Country 17:00 Final Score 18:10 Reflex 18:55 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:15 Pointless Celebrities 20:00 The Voice UK 22:10 The National Lottery Live 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day

00:05 One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest 02:15 Question Time 03:15 Hidden Kingdoms

00:35 The Chase 01:30 Jackpot247 09:10 Life on Earth 04:00 Hearts in Atlantis 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 10:05 Life on Earth 07:00 Dino Dan 11:00 Andrew Marr's The Making of 07:25 Matt Hatter Chronicles Modern Britain 07:45 Canimals 12:00 Fred Dibnah's Made in Britain 08:10 Om Nom Stories 12:30 Great British Railway Journeys 08:20 Sooty 08:30 Scrambled!

13:00 James Martin: Home Comforts 10:25 Dinner Date 13:30 Talking Pictures 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:15 ITV News and Weather 14:10 The Lady Vanishes 12:24 ITV Meridian Weather 15:45 Final Score 12:25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 17:00 Coast 12:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 13:45 The Unforgettable 17:15 Natural World 18:15 Restoration Home One Year On 14:15 Midsomer Murders 16:15 Tea with Mussolini 19:15 Flog It! 18:35 ITV Meridian Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 20:15 Dad's Army 19:00 You've Been Framed!

20:45 The Morecambe and Wise 20:00 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Show Takeaway 21:15 Darcey's Ballerina Heroines 21:20 The Cube 22:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 22:15 QI XL 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:00 Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle 23:34 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 The Producers 23:35 Fast & Furious Moon

00:55 Brooklyn Nine­Nine 01:20 Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan 02:45 Random Acts 02:50 The Simpsons 03:35 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 03:40 Happy Endings 04:25 Franklin & Bash 05:05 Location, Location, Location 06:00 SuperScrimpers 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Grid 08:00 Trans World Sport 08:55 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Frasier 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 How I Met Your Mother 13:30 The Simpsons 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 The Restoration Man 21:00 The Storms That Stole Christmas 22:00 Hostages 23:00 The Lincoln Lawyer

STEWART LEE'S COMEDY VEHICLE New series. The return of the Bafta­winning show in which Stewart Lee explores different themes in stand­up routines filmed at the Mildmay Club in Stoke Newington, north London. The performances are interspersed with clips of script editor Chris Morris grilling the comedian about his ideas, and each episode ends with a short film.

04:15 This Is BBC Two

00:00 CSI: NY 00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Jelly Jamm 10:25 LazyTown 10:55 Jetsons: the Movie 12:25 Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild 13:55 Getting Even with Dad 16:00 Columbo: Playback 17:35 Columbo: Candidate for Crime 19:30 NCIS 22:05 5 News Weekend 22:10 Live International Boxing

The Courier Sunday TV 00:45 The Football League Show 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:40 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

01:35 Lady Caroline Lamb 03:35 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:10 School for Scoundrels 08:40 Monty Don's Italian Gardens 09:40 Countryfile

11:00 The Big Questions

10:40 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

12:00 Sunday Politics

12:10 James Martin: Home

13:15 MOTD2 Extra

Comforts

14:00 BBC News

12:55 Michel Roux's Service

14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead

13:55 Michel Roux's Service

14:15 Bargain Hunt

14:55 Vertigo

15:15 The Indian Doctor

17:00 Cycling

16:00 Flog It!

18:35 Natural World

16:25 Escape to the Country

19:20 Invincible

17:10 Deadly 60 on a Mission

21:00 Top Gear

17:40 Songs of Praise

22:00 Dragons' Den

18:15 Pointless Celebrities

23:00 Mock the Week Looks Back

19:05 BBC News; Regional News

23:30 Line of Duty

and Weather 19:30 Blandings 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Call the Midwife 22:00 The Musketeers 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Dino Dan 07:25 Matt Hatter Chronicles 07:45 Canimals 08:10 Om Nom Stories 08:20 Sooty 08:30 Scrambled!

10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 River Monsters 13:30 Columbo: Death Hits the Jackpot 15:30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 16:30 Diamonds Are Forever 18:50 ITV Meridian Weather 18:50 ITV News Meridian 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Dancing on Ice 20:45 All Star Family Fortunes 21:30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off 22:00 Mr Selfridge 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 It'll Be Alright on the Night

HUGH'S FISH FIGHT Three years ago, Hugh Fearnley­Whittingstall launched a campaign to highlight the problems fac­ ing the global fishing industry. This follow­up doc­ umentary tells the story of how hundreds of thou­ sands of people came together to bring about radi­ cal reforms to fishing policies.

01:15 A History of Violence 03:00 Boss 04:05 Mesh 04:10 One Born Every Minute 05:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 05:10 Hollyoaks 07:20 The Hoobs 07:45 The Hoobs 08:10 Freesports on 4 08:35 Arenacross 09:00 FIM Superbike World Championship 09:35 Sochi Special: Paralympic Winter Games 10:05 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:35 The Big Bang Theory 14:00 The Big Bang Theory 14:30 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:25 The Simpsons 15:55 The Simpsons 16:20 Deal or No Deal 17:25 Grease 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Hugh's Fish Fight 21:00 Time Team 22:00 Salt

March 2

00:10 Pistol Whipped 02:05 SuperCasino 04:05 Benidorm ER 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Hana's Helpline 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:45 Toby's Travelling Circus 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Mio Mao 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Power Rangers Super Samurai 11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:05 Access 12:10 World's 12:50 The Hotel Inspector 13:50 Ice Road Truckers 14:50 Police Interceptors 15:50 Beetle Juice 17:40 Zathura: a Space Adventure 19:35 The Fifth Element 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Erin Brockovich

40

The Courier Monday TV 00:30 The League Cup Show 01:10 Weatherview 01:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Silk 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got Old News for You

00:30 02:30 03:25 04:25 05:25

The Mission Countryfile Holby City Silk This Is BBC Two

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Countryside 999 08:50 Caught Red Handed 09:20 Helicopter Heroes 10:05 The Restaurant Man 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Mandela Remembered from Westminster Abbey 14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:15 War Walks 14:45 Cycling 15:45 Cagney & Lacey 16:30 Bergerac 17:20 Are You Being Served?

17:50 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Mary Berry Cooks 22:00 Mind the Gap: London vs the Rest 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Weather

March 3

00:15 Premiership Rugby Union 01:15 The Store 03:15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 I Never Knew That About Britain 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 DCI Banks 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Agenda

00:00 Predator 02:00 The Fountain 03:35 One Born Every Minute 04:30 Supernanny US 05:15 Location, Location, Location 06:10 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:25 Deal or No Deal 07:20 Countdown 08:05 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 08:10 Will & Grace 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Come Dine with Me 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdown to Crufts 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Troy

I NEVER KNEW THAT ABOUT BRITAIN New series. Documentary inspired by Christopher Winn's best­selling books, exploring Britain's rich and surprising history. Presenter Paul Martin, his­ torian Suzannah Lipscomb and scientist Steve Mould unearth eccentric characters and fascinating stories of the past as they celebrate some of the greatest technological, artistic, scientific and polit­ ical achievements of the nation's people.

00:45 The Fog 02:35 SuperCasino 04:05 Trauma Doctors 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:45 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olly the Little White Van 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Hotel Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Lethal Obsession 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

23:00 Criminals: Caught on Camera

The Courier Tuesday TV

March 4

00:20 00:50 01:35 01:40 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 19:00 19:30 19:30 20:00 20:30 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:25 23:35

Late Kick Off The Graham Norton Show Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Caught Red Handed Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Perfection Escape to the Country James Martin: Home Comforts Antiques Road Trip Pointless BBC News BBC London News Weather The One Show BBC News; Regional News EastEnders Holby City Death in Paradise BBC News Regional News and Weather National Lottery Update Traffic Cops

00:20 Mandela Remembered from Westminster Abbey 01:20 Dragons' Den 02:20 Film 2014 02:50 The Culture Show 03:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Human Planet: Change and Sustainability KS3 06:00 Schools ­ The Science of Harvest

06:30 The Great British Year 06:55 Wonders of Nature: Birds of Paradise 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Countryside 999 08:50 Caught Red Handed 09:20 Helicopter Heroes 10:05 Great British Garden Revival 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:10 War Walks 14:40 The First Eden 15:40 Cagney & Lacey 16:25 Bergerac 17:15 Are You Being Served?

17:45 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog 20:00 The Planners 21:00 The Great British Sewing Bee 22:00 An Hour to Save Your Life 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 The Secret Mediterranean with Trevor McDonald 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Champions League Weekly 04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

AN HOUR TO SAVE YOUR LIFE Documentary exploring the life­or­death decisions facing doctors in the first critical hour of emer­ gency care, following the stories of three patients from the moment the 999 call is made. In the first episode, medics fight to save the lives of a woman who collapsed on London's Oxford Street; a man knocked over by a car and an elderly farmer crushed by a cow.

00:50 Strippers 01:45 Random Acts 01:50 Scandal 02:35 Hostages 03:25 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 03:30 The Good Wife 04:20 One Born Every Minute 05:15 Location, Location, Location 06:10 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:25 Deal or No Deal 07:20 Countdown 08:05 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 08:10 Will & Grace 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Come Dine with Me 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdown to Crufts 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Paralympic Winter Games ­ The Countdown 21:00 Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds 22:00 The Taste 23:00 Strippers

00:00 Mercenary for Justice 01:50 SuperCasino 04:05 Born to Kill?

05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olly the Little White Van 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Trauma Doctors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Deadly Isolation 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Dog Rescuers 20:30 5 News Update 20:30 Police 5 21:00 Benidorm ER 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

March 5

00:35 Mayhem & Mishaps: Britain Caught on Camera 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 Outnumbered 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 A Question of Sport BBC2 00:20 Rest 01:20 02:05 03:05 05:00 05:55

Mind the Gap: London vs the The Super League Show Britain's Great War This Is BBC Two Britain's Great War The Burrowers

06:25 Schools ­ Seeking Refuge 06:50 Schools ­ In My Shoes: Rotterdam 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Countryside 999 08:45 Caught Red Handed 09:15 Helicopter Heroes 10:00 Inside the Animal Mind 11:00 An Island Parish 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:10 War Walks 14:40 The First Eden 15:40 Cagney & Lacey 16:25 Bergerac 17:15 Are You Being Served?

17:45 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog 20:00 The Planners 21:00 The Restaurant Man 22:00 Line of Duty 23:00 Inside No 9 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:40 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Coronation Street 20:30 Live International Football 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 ITV News Meridian 23:40 ITV Meridian Weather 23:45 International Football Highlights

00:00 Three Wives, One Husband 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Poker 02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Paralympic Winter Games 02:35 Beach Volleyball 03:30 Paralympic Winter Games 03:55 Trans World Sport 04:50 The Grid 05:20 Arenacross 05:45 Freesports on 4 06:15 FIM Superbike World Championship 06:40 SuperScrimpers 06:55 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:20 Countdown 08:05 Paralympic Winter Games 08:10 Will & Grace 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Countdown to Crufts 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Paralympic Winter Games 21:00 The Restoration Man 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 First Dates

ENGLAND V DENMARK Adrian Chiles presents coverage of the match from Wembley Stadium, the first of England's four international friendlies leading into the World Cup. Following this encounter Roy Hodgson's men will host Peru at the home of English football after the conclusion to the domestic football calendar, before facing Ecuador and Honduras in Miami.

00:00 Body of Proof 01:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 01:55 SuperCasino 04:05 Henry VIII & Anne: The Lovers Who Changed History 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olly the Little White Van 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Gadget Show 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Final Verdict 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Lost Orphan: A Home for Mirela 21:00 Left for Dead by the Yorkshire Ripper 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Suspects

The Courier Thursday TV

March 6

00:05 Film 2014 00:35 Blandings 01:05 Weatherview 01:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Countryside 999 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holiday Hit Squad 22:00 DIY SOS 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 An Hour to Save Your Life 01:20 See Hear 01:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Rock Types at Great Heights 05:50 Schools ­ William Whiskerson: Cave 06:00 Schools ­ Bringing Books to

Life 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Countryside 999 08:50 Caught Red Handed 09:20 Helicopter Heroes 10:05 Bible Hunters 11:05 An Island Parish 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:10 War Walks 14:40 The First Eden 15:40 Cagney & Lacey 16:25 Bergerac 17:15 Are You Being Served?

17:45 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog 20:00 The Planners 21:00 The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure 22:00 37 Days 23:00 Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Burn after Reading 05:35 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Birds of a Feather 22:00 Coronation Street 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Edge of Heaven

37 DAYS New series. Political thriller charting the behind­ the­scenes events in the corridors of power in the days leading up to the outbreak of the First World War. The British Foreign Office, led by Sir Edward Grey, receives news of an assassination in the Balkans, while in Berlin Kaiser Wilhelm thinks he can exploit the situation to his own advantage.

Starring Ian McDiarmid and Rainer Sellien.

Continues tomorrow.

00:00 Strippers 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 World Trade Center 03:10 Paralympic Winter Games 03:15 The Opposite Sex 05:10 SuperScrimpers 05:15 Location, Location, Location 06:10 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:35 Countdown 08:05 Paralympic Winter Games 08:10 Will & Grace 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Come Dine with Me 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdown to Crufts 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Paralympic Winter Games 21:00 The Hoarder Next Door 22:00 The Floods That Foiled New Year: Caught on Camera 23:00 The Repo Man

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:55 SuperCasino 04:05 Brain Hospital: Saving Lives 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olly the Little White Van 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Henry VIII & Anne: The Lovers Who Changed History 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Obsession 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Truth About Travellers 21:00 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 70­Stone and Almost Dead

42

Friday, February 28, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Bar for traspaso Well established, 9 year old, beach front terrace on the Mar Menor, with a good mix of both British and Spanish clientele. Hard working bar.

For more information con­ tact 637 362 863 (157)

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Prayer and Praise and Worship Home groups meet during the week. All wel­ come from any church back­ ground or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness. Meets in the function room at sackos bar el liminar just off the cv 905 rojales to torrevieja road We have a divine service on Sundays 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.45 pm for those who wishing to devel­ op there mediumistic skills.

CATERING

Healing is available by trained and certificated heal­ ers after each meeting. A warm welcome to friends old and new. The mediums for march are Sun 2nd Debbie Blevins wed 5th Trish Doherty & Jaqueline Holland hunt flowercentience ( bring a flower that no one else has touched ) Sun 9th Belinda Bradley and Sandra Galley wed 12th David Darnbourgh Sun 16th Sammy Fitzimmons wed 19th Suzy Hilton, ( visiting from the uk ) sun 23rd Suzy Hilton, who is being ordained as a minister at this service Wed 26th Morag Bullock, sun 30th Trish Doherty ( mother’s day service ) For further informa­ tion call Trish on 966 844 795 or email therainbowcen­ trecostablanca@gmail.com

FOR SALE A bulk buy of fragrance flame candles, 3 in a box each candle burns for an hour ideal for garden or ter­ race, great seller for mar­ kets or boots even shops, enquires to Glen on 606926437.(158) For sale Mens flip flops ,24 in a carton, great seller with summer coming,24 in a car­ ton, bulk buy available for enquires ring Glen 606926437 (158)

prehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PERSONAL

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­

BARBER

CARPENTER

ALARMS

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (148) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart­ ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near

Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Molino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb commu­ nal pool area, in within walk­ ing distance of bars, restau­ rants and shops. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Ground Floor Duplex, on the Monte y Mar estate of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Fully furnished, Private Parking, Communal pool Ref. GA0094 NOw only 83.000e Tel. 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS

43

Friday, February 28, 2014 in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large commu­ nal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immedi­ ate viewing

Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the

CAR BREAKERS

Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 78, €110,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155

Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Corner Plot Property in the lower end of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Under build, Roof top Solarium Being sold Fully Furnished including White goods. Walking distance to all local amenities. 139.950e Ref. GA0087 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,

DRAINAGE

Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath­ roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi­ or furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in show­ er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is

much easier plus outside toi­ let and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €72,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur­ bished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PETS

44

Friday, February 28, 2014

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large

Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Limited Edition Fortaleze in Gran Alacant Exceptionally Large Plot. 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Private Pool with Decorative Garden, Private Parking, Electric Gates, Glazed in Porch, Solarium, Under build. Quiet sought after area. Very tastefully fur­ nished and all included 370.000e Ref. K52 Tel. 627711155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantas­ tic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure

underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever con­ structed­ Very large 5 bed­ rooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­ suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys­ tem and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €23,950. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Large 4 Bedroom, 4 Bathroom, 2 Kitchens, 2 Lounges, 600m2+ plot Large Retractable Glazed in Pool for all year swimming, Private Parking for 4 cars, Very low­maintenance, Fully Furnished. 330.000e but Negotiable. Very different to the other properties in Gran Alacant and is disabled friendly Ref: L80 Tel. 680333242

Mid Terraced Townhouse on Avda Polognia, Gran Alacant Furnished to a very high standard and includes White Goods. 3 Bed, 2 Bath, Lounge Diner, Fully convert­ ed Under build offering a second lounge and large storage area. Roof top Solarium, Glazed in galleria with extended worktops.

Front Garden with BBQ, Communal Pool with Gardens. 132.000e Ref. K16 Tel. 627711155 Semi­Detached Villa with Open Greenland Views to the Rear and Alicante Views to the Front, means this property in Gran Alacant would appeal to anybody looking for a quiet location.

Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge diner, with working Fire place, Porch, Solarium, Established Gardens and Private Pool, Private Parking on a large plot.

265.000e Ref. L95 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gar­ dens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low mainte­ nance very private gardens with irrigation system, elec­ tronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills,

REMOVALS

POOLS

SURVEYOR

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section.

Within easy walking dis­ tance to Gran Alacant com­ mercial centre and close to local bus and tram route.

Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­

WANTED

land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

VAN HIRE

Friday, February 28, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

IKE’S TREE TAKES A HIKE

You always know that spring is in the air as we get ready for the first major of the season, which is the US Masters in Augusta, and the removal of the iconic Eisenhower Tree has led to some late changes at the 17th.

Money, power and privilege can certainly control many aspects of life, but it evidently cannot control Mother Nature!

The Augusta National Golf Club was forced to remove the tree, named after former Augusta member and ex­US President, Dwight D. Eisenhower, after an ice storm swept the region. The Augusta club chairman Billy Payne said "The loss of the Eisenhower Tree is difficult news to accept; we got the views of the best arborists available and were told that we just couldn’t restore it to health”.

The tree was a Loblolly Pine (for the horticultural experts Pinus Tæda) and was estimated to be between 100­and 125 years old. And it was Eisenhower as an Augusta National member between 1948 and 1969, who kept hitting into the loblolly pine in the left­center of the 17th fairway. The presi­ dent hit the tree so often that he tried to use his hefty political clout to have club chairman and co­founder Clifford Roberts remove “that pesky loblolly pine”, and in a 1956 club meet­ ing, he proposed that action. Masters Chairman Clifford Roberts ruled Ike out of order and adjourned the meeting, with the tree being known ever since as Ike's Tree. As Eisenhower found out, even the power of a sitting U.S. pres­ ident paled in comparison to a membership base containing titans of industry, real estate moguls, Wall Street giants and old­money billionaires who were infinitely more wealthy and powerful than the former war hero could ever dream of being.

The Eisenhower Tree then evolved into one of the most recognisable landmarks on arguably the most famous golf course in the world. The tree jutted out into the left portion of the 17th fairway about 220 yards from the tournament tee box, forcing players to either play down the right side of the fairway or hit a high right­to­left shot in order to position themselves properly for a clear approach into the green.

Although the Tree has created many memorable moments over the years, it most recently made headlines back in 2011, when Tiger Woods injured his left knee and Achilles tendon while attempting to hit an approach shot from the pine straw underneath the tree. The injury Woods sustained underneath the Tree would eventually cause him to miss several months of the season as well as the U.S. Open and the Open Championship.

Another memorable moment was when the 1973 Masters

champion Tommy Aaron hit a drive, which went into the top of the Eisenhower pine, with pollen going everywhere, with Aaron presuming that the ball was trapped in the branches.

The local caddie in Aaron’s group said that the balls don’t stay in the tree, but Tommy Aaron was insistent that the ball was lodged in there. Nobody could find it, and Aaron had to go back and play another under the lost ball rule. The next day, the story goes, they were walking by the Tree and a ball dropped out of it, with Aaron recognizing it because his ball was a Pinnacle. The great Jack Nicklaus and Augusta spe­ cialist, Jack Nicklaus was told the story, and said: ­ “I’m not sure I believe it.” Tommy Aaron responded by saying that he had a witness in the form of his caddie, Rhett Sinclair.

Six­time Masters Winner Jack Nicklaus said that: ­ “The Eisenhower Tree is such an iconic fixture and symbol of tra­ dition at Augusta National, as well as such an integral part of the game, that it will be sorely missed. I hit it so many times

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION On the first hole at the Old Course, St Andrews, Ken hits his second shot in to the Swilcan Burn which is marked as a water hazard. The strong flow of water in the hazard takes the ball out of bounds. Which of the following statements is correct?

A: Ken must proceed under stroke and distance.

B. Ken may drop the ball back on a line keeping the point where the ball last crossed the margin of the hazard between him and the hole.

C. Ken may drop the ball within two club lengths of where the ball last crossed the margin of the hazard.

ANSWER A: Ken must proceed under stroke and distance Decision Rules of Golf 26­1/7

over the years that I don’t care to comment on the names I called myself and the names I might have called the tree.

‘Ike’s Tree’ was a kind choice, but looking back, Ike’s Tree will be greatly missed.”

The complexion of the 17th hole, named Nandina by the golf club, would look vastly dif­ ferent today without the most famous Loblolly Pine in the world wreaking havoc along the left side of the fairway. But Masters participants shouldn’t get too comfortable with the idea of being able to grip and rip their tee shot off of the 17th tee in six weeks’ time. While money, power and privilege might not be able to control Mother Nature, would anyone be surprised if the Augusta National Golf Club spent the next few weeks scouring the globe to locate an identical loblolly pine tree and then had that new tree up alongside the 17th fairway by the middle of March. This writer would cer­ tainly not be the least bit surprised if an Eisenhower Tree Part II was planted long before the azaleas begin to bloom in Augusta!

GOLF QUOTES

1: "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five."

2: "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."

3: "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

4: "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it."

TITTER ON THE TEE Consider the golfer who was behind by a couple of strokes in a competitive match with a friend.

The golfer says to himself: ­ "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers: ­ "Would you give up 25% of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says: ­ "Okay," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself: ­ "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."

The same stranger moves to his side and says: ­ "Would it be worth another 25% of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure”. He makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.

As the golfer walks to the clubhouse, the stranger walks alongside and says: ­ "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "I'm Father O'Malley."

46

Friday, February 28, 2014

SCHALKE SHOCKED BALE STUNNER FC SHALKE 1 REAL MADRID 6

DOWNS ELCHE REAL MADRID 3 ELCHE 0

Gareth Bale scored twice as Real Madrid hammered Schalke away on Wednesday to all but reach the Champions League quarter­ finals. The Welshman netted his side's sec­ ond after a mazy dribble and added a cool finish for Real's fifth. Cristiano Ronaldo beat

Joel Matip with a flurry of stepovers for a superb third as he and Karim Benzema also scored twice in a thrilling display. Klaas­Jan Gareth Bale scored an outstanding long­ Huntelaar's spectacular injury­time volley range goal as Real Madrid beat Elche 3­0 at pulled a goal back, but the tie seems over as the Bernabeu on Saturday afternoon to go a contest. top of La Liga, and stayed there through the weekend as both Barcelona and Atletico Madrid both lost. Elche could take comfort that the teams below them in the table not able to make significant progress, they fin­ ished the latest round of matches four points 3 BARCELONA 1 clear of the relegation zone.

Madrid struggled to control the game in the opening half an hour, as Elche put on a respectable display in the first half, but they only managed two shots on target through­ out the match, and wilted once they went behind. That happened when Illaramendi fired a low shot into the bottom corner of Manu Herrera's net.

The goal settled down Real, and Karim Benzema could have got the second before the break, his low shot saved by Elche keeper Manu Herrera.

Herrera though Griezman restored their lead in the 54th almost landed his minute and David Zurutuza ghosted in to team in huge trou­ seal victory just before the hour mark.

It could have been worse for the champi­ ons as Vela hit the woodwork late on, and to add to their woes, they had their coach, Gerardo Martino, dismissed at half­time for CD MONTESINOS 7 complaining to the referee. Barcelona are at home this Sunday to Almeria.

BARCA DOWNED REAL SOCIEDAD

Barcelona, featuring Lionel Messi, Neymar and Andres Iniesta, were a shadow of the side that outwitted Manchester City in last week’s Champions League clash as the La Liga title holders slumped to a shock defeat at Real Socieded on Saturday.

An Alex Song own goal in the 32nd minute put the Basque side on their way despite Messi equalising 4 minutes later. Antoine

ble when he took the ball round Benzema in his own area and played a hurried pass to Alberto Botia, who was dispossessed by Jese before fouling the Real Madrid forward, but only being shown a yellow card.

Madrid's second goal was a cracker as Bale picked the ball up around 35 yards out and blasting high into the net to score his 10th league goal for Los Blancos.

Isco replaced the off­colour Jese shortly after Bale's screamer and almost provided the third goal for Dani Carvajal, who com­ pletely missed the midfielder's low cut­back from a couple of yards, the ball instead rolling across the goalmouth. So the former Malaga man took care of the final goal him­ self, controlling a pass from Benzema then racing between two defenders to knock the ball in at the near post.

Elche next enter­ tain mid­table Celta Vigo this Saturday night, whilst Real have a big show­ down away to third placed city rivals, Atletico this Sunday afternoon.

Seventh heaven for Monte ATL BENEJUZAR 0

Torry make their point PATERNA 0 FC TORREVIEJA 0 Torrevieja picked up an excellent away point at play­off seeking Paterna, which means that Torry lie 10th, and are 5 points behind Paterna and the play­off zone.

Injuries meant that Gomez and Rafa were out, whilst an unfit Obele was on the bench and together with the suspension of Dani Meseguer, the Torry coach Serrano had to ring the changes, both in terms of personnel and playing positions.

He was rewarded with a gutsy performance. The first half was fairly uneventful, but then Torry actu­ ally had the better chances in the second period, the pick of those being an Alexis header that just went wide and a fierce drive from Dani Lucas.

Torrevieja entertain relegation­threatened Villarreal C this Sunday lunchtime at the Vicente Garcia stadium with a 12.00 pm kick­off. The club are looking for big turn out, so if a season ticket holder brings a friend, then the admission cost will be at half­price for just 5 Euros. If two non­ season ticket holders come together, then the first will pay the normal price and the second will again receive a 50% discount, paying just 5 Euros. The gates and the bars will open at 11.00am.

An Edu hat­trick led the way as Montesinos tore their opponents apart, and it could easily have reached double­figures had it not been for the Benejuzar keeper. There was none of the aggression and nasti­ ness amongst the visiting fans that led to a fearsome atmosphere in the away fix­ ture earlier this season, as Monte let their play do all the talking.

Vaz and Edu were on top of things early on, but the Benejuzar keeper produced a string of great saves to keep a clean sheet until Vaz

converted a penalty, and then Edu took advantage of a great cross from Omar to make it two­nil at half time.

The second half was all Monte with Vaz and Edu soon converting chances to make it four­nil, with Edu then securing his hat­trick.

Orouker had a real player­ maker role all during the game, and set up Omar to make it six­nil, and then he sent Dimitry clear on a run to finish it off at seven­nil.

Orouker was presented afterwards with the Man of the Match award by Andy Jeffers of match sponsors

Breeze Bar, Benimar. This weekend Monte are away to Pilar de la Horadada side, Grupo Caliche.

47

Friday, February 28, 2014

LOADSAMONEY!

IT’S A LONG WAY FROM FINNEY TO ROONEY IN the week the great Tom Finney died aged 91, Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney signed a new contract ‘earning’ £300,000 per week, tying the sharp Scouser to Old Trafford until 2019.

It would be a pretty safe bet that ‘poor’ old part­time plumber Tom never earned anything like Wayne’s week­ ly wage in his whole football career. Staggering along on a mere £42, 847 a day makes the 28 year­old Rooney the finan­ cial king of British foot­ ball.

Oh, and just one more eye­water­ ing statistic: ‘ H e r r ’ Rooney will earn £85.8m in the next five years until 2019.

That’ll keep his hair­ dressing affairs in order, those transplants or implants, whatever are expensive, you know.

However, it’s not just about money, believe it or

not. United are also trying prove to other current big stars at Old Trafford, like Robin van Persie that the club still harbours further ambitions, not only by retaining Red Rooney but also by recently signing Juan Mata from Chelsea for £37m. The Spaniard is world class and may yet prove an embarrassment to Chelsea and Mourinho for letting him go to a major competitor.

Yes, of course, we’re all agreed: the money is obscene, immoral etc. But if you listen to the other side of the story, you realise that United just could

not afford to let one­time­ wayward Wayne wander, not if they wanted to contin­ ue to remain a major power­ house in British football as they have always been.

There was only 16 months left to run on Rooney’s exist­ ing contract, meaning then he could leave for nothing – perhaps to a competitor like Chelsea ­ when it expired.

To replace England’s best player would cost United a fortune, so it made sound financial sense to keep Rooney and exploit the world­wide brand he repre­ sents to the club. By 2019, wealthy Wayne will be 34, meaning he will have loyally played almost all his career at Old Trafford for 16 years, endearing himself to every­ one at the club, and becom­ ing one of United’s all­time greats in the process.

The David Moyes aspect of Rooney’s career is inter­ esting. Being the 16 year old‘s first manager at Everton in his native city, and eventually selling him to United in 2003 the Scot has a first­hand knowledge of what really

makes the player tick.

There was some unpleas­ ant afters following Rooney’s first autobiogra­ phy in 2005 with accusa­ tions towards Moyes, later disproved with accepted apologies and everyone grew up a little over it. But as Alex Ferguson proved over his great managerial years in dispensing with such luminaries of the day as David Beckham and Roy Keane, no player at United is bigger than the club, and Fergie was hav­ ing trouble once again with played like it. While putting Rooney in the Great Scot’s in another massive shift in final year. It looked very like work rate, Selhurst Park Rooney was on his way to was set alight on 68 minutes Chelsea at one time – but as Mata released Evra down now reversing the hearse the left, who pulled the ball with Mata going the other back from the by­line to way, Rooney has suddenly Rooney lurking just outside been re­energised with the area. Wacker Wayne apparently accepted accu­ leaned back and let it sations from Moyes that bounce before an exquisite Wayne had ‘gone soft’ ­ so volley sped into the corner spurring the spikey scouser of the Palace net to consoli­ to show spirit and succeed – date van Persie’s penalty six and he is. That’s the good minutes earlier ­ and sealing news. the game for United: sheer Saturday’s 2 – 0 win over class, the sort of really out­ Crystal Palace propelled standing ability that gets United back up to sixth Wayne Rooney mentioned place in the Prem, and at the up there sharing the rarefied same time perfectly remind­ atmosphere of superstars ed the football world why like Lionel Messi and Rooney is clearly the most excit­ ing player in British foot­ ball today Pleasant sunny conditions ­ and provided the perfect back­ why he drop for last Sunday’s Torrevieja Half­Marathon and 10km Road Race. 895 run­ ners took part in the Half­ Marathon, with Ukrainian Iurii Vykhopen of the Torrevieja Athletics club taking the men’s contest, whilst the Finnish athlete Petri Huhtala, also from the Torrevieja club, won the ladies race.

Cristiano Ronaldo.

And the bad United news? Well, yes, Premier Leagueally improving lately (they needed to), but in Europe? Tuesday night saw the Red Devils ineptly go down 2 – 0 in Athens to a spirited Olympiakos side that should have held few fears for a United side steeped in European expe­ rience (N.B David Moyes did honourably admit responsibility for the defeat). For Best, Law and Charlton in the 60s, in 2014 read Rooney, van Persie and Mata. Today throw in Januzaj, Welbeck, Kagawa, Carrick, Cleverley, de Gea, Smalling, Jones, Fellaini, Zaha and a few more and the future at the Theatre of Dreams looks ­ dreamy. But it clearly isn’t and there’s a long way to go in England before United will look as dominant domestically as they appeared last season.

And as for Europe, well…

But this is World Cup year, and England and Rooney will be in Brazil: another opportunity to show the world what Manchester United’s gem is made of – and why he commands £300,000 per week.

Marathon winners

MASTERS OF THE WATER Club Natacion Torrevieja got a bagful of medals from last weekend’s Winter Masters Open National Championships in Palma, Majorca, with the team taking 14 medals from their 18 individual events.

Day one on Friday saw Beth Altabas and Vicki Connolly winning gold medals in their age groups in the 800m Freestyle event, with Paul Matthews striking gold in the 50m Butterfly and 100m Backstroke and silver in his 100m Freestyle event. Then not to be outdone, the girls matched his results with gold in the 100m backstroke and 100m Freestyle events for Beth and a bronze medal for Vicki in her 100m Freestyle event.

Vicki continued to increase medal haul on the Saturday, getting silver in the 400 m and 200m, whilst Beth struck gold again, this time in the 400m Freestyle winning gold and Paul got a bronze in his 200m Freestyle race.

There was more success to come on the Sunday, with Beth winning gold in her 100m individual medley, and Vicki notching up a personal best as she took bronze in

Kuhn conquers

the 50m Freestyle race. The next major meeting for the Torrevieja team is the Summer Spanish Masters Open National Event in Jerez at the end of June.

Torrevieja­based tennis starlet, Nicola Kuhn (pic­ tured in the middle), has picked up another honour as along with his German teammates, he picked up the European Team Tennis title. The teenager won all of his matches, including the scalp of the current European number one, Alen Avizdba. The result means that Kuhn is now ranked at number 2 in the under­14 European standings.

Friday, February 28, 2014

48

SILENCE IS GOLDEN!

Mou shuts his mouth and Chelsea (nearly) shut up shop

Shh, but ‘somebody’ shut mono­ syllabic Mourinho’s mouth before Chelsea’s late, late win over unlucky Everton last weekend, the sulky ‘Silent One’ refusing to answer just about all quirky ques­ tions before the match. Dad’s Army did the talking for him on the field though, finally filching it in the Battle of the Blues in the 90th minute: Frankie Lampard’s wicked­ ly inswinging free kick eluded almost everyone except John Terry/Branislav Ivanovic /Ron Howard (delete where­you­want). Face formidable facts: John Terry has now scored a record 35 career goals for his club, seriously superior stats for a central defender – wot, no England? JT definitely put the country’s regular stopper Phil Jagielka in the shade on Saturday: end result Martinez mightily miffed, mean­ while Mou muted (marvellous...). Similar story in Istanbul on Wednesday as Chelsea became the only English side to get anything in Europe, a 1 – 1 draw away in Didier Drogba’s Galatasaray. Keep it quiet, but big local derby Saturday, bottom v top by the swollen Thames as feisty Felix’s Fulham face the busy­but­ battling Blues.

It’s catching though… Man City’s Manuel Pellegrini is also learning to keep it shut after unwise referee­bait­ ing caused the Chilean to apologise (can’t see Mou doing that) to UEFA officialdom. Afterwards against stalwart Stoke, it took a late Yaya Toure strike to put away the unbeaten­in­three Potters. City’s Hart­warm­ ing defence held out as Joe kept out a Charlie Adam belter and more, but the unbelievable miss of the match materialised for Edin Dzeko who kicked the post in rage after somehow failing to score from a yard out: comical.

Sunday early doors, it’s the Capital Cup final (yawn) for City against – Sunderland. Hey, the Blues have fallible

John McGregor reports

form here, lost to the Black Cats earlier in the season ­ and don’t mention Wigan. Gus’s guys were gunned down 4 – 1 at The Emirates. Were nerves Finally show­ ing? Olivier Giroud’s early brace put ominously­Ozil­ omitted Arsenal ahead, exhibition efforts ensued as Rosicky made it Czech mate with the best goal, finish­ ing off a four­man move with aplomb. The Gunners looked like Barcelona at times as they strolled round for the benefit of an old Dutchman: watching from the stand was ex­hero Dennis Bergkamp, his new bronze statue glistening in a no­fly zone on the car park. Stoke next up away for Arsene’s army.

Wow, worrabout yer ‘Ammers then? Four wins on the spin, takes ‘em tenth! That 19th century football worked again as West Ham hampered spirited Southampton 3 – 1, that after going down to a nippy Saints stunner from Yoshida, Adrian’s wall breached at last after four clean sheets. Carlton Cole’s continuing Carroll­copying, Handy­not Andy’s still suspended.

How about captain Kevin Nolan now doing yer reformed sinner bit with his seven goals and three assists? But interestingly, in Kev’s post­match inter­ view he revealed the club psychologist had helped sort him out. Now there’s a thought ­ have all clubs got them?

Pulis’ s Palace were polished­off professionally 2 – 0

by Man United, firstly by a van Persie penalty, followed by wealthy Wayne Rooney showing his money belt wasn’t weighing him down as he superbly volleyed in the clincher to clip the Eagles wings. Hey, the Selhurst Park fans are brilliant, what a din they make, and sport­ ingly Wayne didn’t even mind things being thrown at him as he took the corners, long­memoried Palace fans no doubt remembering kamikaze Kung Fu Eric Cantona.

Newcastle fans have been unhappy campers of late; the Magpies had lost their last five games. The Remydey for reversal and revelry came very late against Valiant Villa as their back­from­suspension Gallic hero weaved round Ron Vlaar to dramatically

score the only goal in the 90th minute. Now its Villa fans who’re unhappy – again ­ no goals, despite that three­pronged attack of Benteke, Weimann and Agbonlahor: the Villains are only four points above the DDD, so big day at Villa Park then Sunday as Spurs­ stunners Norwich and Delia visit their old friend Paul Lambert.

Likewise locally Newcastle visit Hull: the Tigers are purring contentedly after their wonderful weekend in Wales, their new strike force Shane Long and Nikica Jelavic ripping Cardiff to pieces 4 ­ 0. Hey, boyos, good job Wales crushed France at rugby, ‘cos nothing’s going right in the Welsh capital football­fashion. Five changes didn’t work, beleaguered Ole Gunnar Solskjaer seems to be quickly losing those baby­faced looks of his and has aged enormously over the eight weeks he’s been jefe at Cardiff. Will he last? See Vincent Tan’s wisely nowhere to be seen. Now Cardiff go to Tim’s Tottenham, simmering Spurs no doubt narked after being knocked back at Norwich.

Question: Who’s the biggest scorers in the Prem? Man City? Wrong… Arsenal? U R joking, kilometres out!

Hey youse, it’s fourth­placed Liverpool with 60 goals ­ and if you said that was all down to Luis Suarez, well, no actually. Yes, he has 25, but Daniel Sturridge scored two more on Saturday against Brendan Rodgers’ old boys Swansea, the ex­Chelsea striker (!) has now scored in 8 successive games bringing his total to 19 – and he was out injured for several weeks. Lively Luis didn’t score in the thrilling 4 – 3 win over Swansea, but let one go from the half­way line, Pele style, sadly it went just wide, and Gerrard hit the post late on. But hail those super Swans who put up a terrific fight, final­ ly Jordan Henderson got his second, and the late win­ ner in the thriller at Anfield. Liverpool look great going forward, but the Swalians exposed the Reds’ defensive problems ­ terrific to watch, though. N.B.s.b exciting at Southampton Saturday for Liverpool. Goals glut going on? Hope so.