Week 163

Edition 163

www.thecourier.es

Friday, April 4, 2014

KILLJOYS? Businesses row over “ridiculous”charity gag

By TONY MAYES A bar owner has lashed out at business owners in an Orihuela Costa shopping area, accusing them of being killjoys and of damaging their efforts to increase custom.

Last year the community of owners at the Playa Flamenca Commercial Centre voted to restrict the number of

outside charity events which could be held at the centre to six. But shop own­ ers have claimed that after a meeting this year, a complete bar has been put on outdoor charity fund­raisers and entertainment, a claim that has been refuted to The Courier by the communi­ ty president.

Alison Webster, owner of The Sports Bar at the back of the centre, is fuming at the decision, as she stages regular functions in aid of Help at Home Costa

Blanca, as well as providing a venue for a range of bands, which helps to pull in many customers.

"It's ridiculous”, she seethed. “This centre used to be a lively place with lots going on and businesses were thriving, but now it’s dead for most of the time. We have nothing to attract shoppers and customers here, and they are all going to Zenia Boulevard, where they allow entertainment every day. How can we compete with this?

The only way to attract people here is to put special events on, but now the owners and the landlords, many of whom don't even live anywhere near here and just haven't a clue how diffi­ cult it is now to run a business, want to stop what is our lifeblood."

Mrs.Webster said the problem seems to be revolving around the restaurants disapproving of the live music because they believe diners would not come to their premises with noise from the shows going on. She pointed out that most of the events are usually in the late afternoon when the restaurants are closed in­between their lunchtime and evening trade, with other businesses welcoming the special events as they bring people into the centre.

"It really is ironic that we are being

Continued on page 2

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

2

Friday, April 4, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Alan Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

Affiliations

Publication Courier South Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low qual­ ity electronic data or inadequate instruc­ tions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­appearance of any advertisement, although all advertise­ ments produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publi­ cation will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertise­ ment. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Feeding on the nectarine blossom Photo by JIM JOHNSTON TORRE DE LA HORADADA

KILLJOYS?

From page 1

prevented from putting on charity events for Help at Home when they have a charity shop within the shopping centre and are paying rates and community fees, and because they are there are drawing people in who go to other shops and bars as well. It just doesn't make any sense, it's so small minded," she added. "The community of owners have said they have no objection to entertainment within premis­ es, it is outside events they are objecting to, but who wants to sit inside in the heat of the summer? We have to do something to keep this centre alive. If we go on like this it will be completely dead in two years, and who will pay the landlords' rents then?"

The latest business to leave is the Jennifer Cunningham insurance office, which has gone to Los Dolses, where the rents are lower and there is more footfall. The latest count

by The Courier has shown that half of the 130+ units are now empty, with at least 20 never having been occupied.

Market stall holders who hold events on various venues in and around Orihuela Costa were asked if they would like to visit the Playa Flamenca Commercial Centre, but they voted against it because of a lack of visitors. Their spokesperson said: "We felt it just wouldn't be worth our while to go there because it is so quiet."

Lisa Kelly, who owns Spud Murphy's in the centre, and who is the president of the community of owners, said it was not true there had been a ban on outside events. She said: "Far from it, we had a meeting at the town hall and it was decid­ ed there should be seven events a year. But organisers had to set out their proposals and submit them for approval by the council and also by a committee of owners."

Lisa explained that the procedure would take several weeks, so it was important that businesses should make their plans in advance and submit them properly. "We have had a fire here and the property owners want to ensure there are no fire risks and health and safety risks from out­ side events in the centre," she added.

ITV RATES SLASHED

The days of Valencia region motorists hopping over the border for a cheaper ITV test appear to be over with the news that the Valencian Government has reduced the cost of a test by over 18% for diesel car owners. It’s the first time that ITV rates have fallen in the region since 1997, which has had the reputation for some of the most expensive ITV tests in Spain.

CAR TRAGEDY

A 75 year old man suffered a fatal heart attack at the wheel of his car on the N332 in La Mata on Wednesday afternoon. He was driving northbound when tragedy struck with the car going out of control approaching the roundabout turn­off towards La Mata, with

TIGHT-FISTED Visitors to the Costa Blanca and the Valencia region in the first 2 months of 2014 were up by nearly a quarter on the same time period as 2013, but they

the car hitting two other vehicles as well as a bus, which was being boarded. A female passenger in the fateful car was taken to Torrevieja Hospital suffering from shock, whilst emergency services were unable to revive the driver.

spent over 4% less in total than those who came last year! Nationally, spending was down by 2.4%, as visi­ tor numbers leapt by 9.1%.

The Egatur survey said that UK tourists accounted for a

third of the spending in the Valencia region and Costa Blanca in January and February.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 23 Low 13° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 24° Low 14° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 22° Low 12° Chance of rain 0%

Media and Entertainment SL Monday Sunny High 25 Low 11° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 25° Low 11° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Sunny High 22° Low 12° Chance of rain 0%

Thursday Sunny High 21° Low 14° Chance of rain 0%

3

Friday, April 4, 2014

SLOWLY BUT SURELY

Spain’s dole queue shortened just a bit in March, with a fall of just over 16 thousand taking the overall figure to 4.8 mil­ lion. The government said it was the biggest March fall since 2006 and said it was the eighth straight month of unemploy­ ment decline.

Lucky to be alive

BAGGED IN A HURRY BODY RIDDLE Authorities are no closer to working out the identity of the male body that was bagged and washed ashore on Cala Bosque beach in La Zenia last Saturday. In a scene akin to an American TV drama, the six foot tall man’s torso was wrapped in plastic and then comprehensively sealed with industrial tape, with his whole face covered in the tape. His hands had been tied behind his back.

Medical examiners reported that the man had suffered multiple blows to the head along to other parts of his body.

They are working on other tests to confirm that he was killed before he was parcelled up and thrown into the sea. The man was described as being of strong build and having brown hair, with the body having been in the water for a few days.

The police are sifting through missing persons databases and their main theory is that it may have been a “hit” to settle some kind of gang score. The corpse floated ashore at Cala Bosque around noon on the Saturday, and initially witnesses mistook it for a dead dolphin.

FIREBALL HORROR

A 65 year old Torrevieja woman cheated death on Tuesday lunchtime, as she fell from her balcony on Avenida de las Habaneras, and landed on top of her car. The Guardia Civil are investigating what exactly happened, with the pensioner being taken to Torrevieja Hospital in a serious condition.

Emergency services said that but for the car cushioning her fall, she would almost certainly have died.

A BIG HIGH

The charred body of the uncle of Rojales Mayor, Antonio Perez was found last week (Thursday March 27th) close to the cave area known as Cuevas del Rodeo, which is used by local artists and exhibitors. He was named as 84 year old Daniel Perez, and it’s understood that police are not looking for nobody else in connection with the death. Reports sug­ gest that he was depressed as he had a gall­bladder opera­ tion coming up, and that he doused himself in petrol and set himself alight at around 8.30am, with children from a near­by school witnessing the fireball horror.

Rock bottom Murcia

A major marijuana factory has been raided by the National Police in Murcia City in one of the biggest seizures ever in Spain, based on the city and surrounding villages. 70 pounds of marijuana buds were impounded and 9 Spaniards arrest­ ed and charged with crimes against public health as well as the illegal possession of weapons, ammunition, and explo­ sives. In the basement of one of the buildings that were raid­ ed, cops found a rotating cultivation of marijuana, which had 316 plants in bloom, with full air conditioning, exhaust fans, humidifiers, halogen light heaters and a drip irrigation sys­ tem.

BLANKET BAN

Shoppers at Sunday’s Cabo de Palos market thought they were part of a movie shoot, as police officers chased a gang of illegal hawkers, with innocent by­standers being knocked over by the peddlers. 4 police­ men lead the chase but had to stop after shoppers were being felled in the dramatic events, as tried to appre­ hend the illegal fashion and DVD sellers. The hawkers showed a quick turn of foot when they were spotted, and

wrapped up all their goods in blankets, which they carried on their backs during the hot pursuit, pushing over any­ body they saw into the bar­ gain. Nobody was seriously injured, but the cops called it quits to stop shoppers being hurt.

Murcia’s Parliament has come bottom of the list for the least open in Spain, according to T r a n s p a r e n c y International. The Murcia Regional Assembly, based in Cartagena, propped up the list of shame with 19 regional governments featured, with the Valencian Government mired in 15th place.

A driver that clocked up 237 kilometres an hour on the AP7 near Los Montesinos has been arrested by the Guardia Civil.

He was speeding at almost double the limit, and also failed a breath test. The speed merchant faces a number of charges before a Torrevieja judge including reckless driving, drink­dri­ ving, and speeding.

A FAIR COP?

Torrevieja’s police are being investigated as to whether they’ve got too “trigger­happy” over fining people, after a swarm of com­ plaints from bar owners as well as motorists. Torrevieja’s police coun­ cillor, Agustina Esteve, has ordered an audit and encouraged people to complain to them at the Town Hall or via the city’s website if they feel they have been unfairly treated. The audit comes as local police continue to show their dis­ pleasure at their working hours, with union representatives they are not bothered by the move. The say it’s the fault of the council for not updating an 11 year old by­law over unauthorised street terraces, which has seen the expansion of awnings after the public ban on smoking. The council say they’ve not ordered the police to increase their action over the issue.

MADRID COUGH’S UP Electricity bill payers are in for a nice surprise on their next bill with an aver­ age refund of between 35 to 40 Euros. As reported in last week’s Courier, the Madrid Government grossly overestimated the whole­ sale market price of power for the first 3 months of 2014, and Energy Minister, José Manuel Soria, says that the total refund will amount to around 300 million Euros.

DRY START

A warm February turned into a warm March on the Costa Blanca, with it being the warmest and driest March since 2008 in the Valencia region. Average temperatures clocked in at 11.3 degrees Celcius, seven­tenths above the normal rate, whilst rainfall was 41% lower than the March average.

Alicante City has had the driest start to any year since the first available records in 1858.

4

Friday, April 4, 2014

EU hypocrites SILVER LINING No Montebello Tax changes from the Spanish Government have made poorer people poorer than ever according to the E u r o p e a n Commission, who ordered Madrid to make the changes in the first place. As a result of 'adjust­ ments' made to Spain's taxes, including income tax (IRPF) and IVA – particularly since 2012 ­ those already struggling to make ends meet are now in dire finan­ cial straits. At best, they are relying on their savings, in 15% of cases, and on loans and credit cards in 10% of households, just to cover basic necessities like utility

bills, rent or mortgage and food. Spain's bottom quartile earners have seen their income go down by 14 per cent a year since 2009, whilst the top quartile earn­ ers have barely lost 10 per cent of their income and in many cases, have in fact become richer.

The Commission says that the gap between Spain's richest and poorest is now the widest on the continent.

boulevard

Traffic jams in Spain have fallen by nearly two­thirds since the start of the reces­ sion due to drivers tightening their belts. Cost conscious motorists are only using their cars when necessary, and many have flogged off their vehicles to make ends meet.

Research by the Catalunya regional branch of the Royal Automobile Club (RACC) shows that gridlocks in and around Spain's major cities and built­up areas on the coast have reduced by 63% since 2010.

TOUGH MEDICINE

Speedy ferries return

High speed ferry links between Alicante and the Balearic Islands are set to return, after the sus­ pension of the Transmediterránea sailings nearly 7 years ago, after they lost money, due to other services operating out of Denia. The “La Verdad” newspaper reports that the high­speed ferry is to be re­ launched this summer, but

CHUCKED OUT

A top medical representative has called times on bad patients, who he claims are time wasters. Juan José Rodríguez Sendín, the boss of the Spanish Medical Colleges Association, says he wants to fine patients who go to hospital emergency departments when they are not in need of urgent no further information has help, as well as punishing people who misuse the healthcare been made available, short system. He claimed that ‘those who go a lot’ to the doctor, do of the Alicante Port authority so because ‘they’re scared’ and ‘think it will delay their final confirming that something is day’. in the offing.

“When people don’t take their names off the waiting list, when they deliberately put their name down twice, when they don’t pick up their diagnoses or prescriptions, or when they go to the ER rather than to a regular health centre,” are some of the reasons he listed for proposing the fines.

But his words have been met with anger by many. The President of Spain’s health patient watchdog, Carmen Flores, called the proposals ‘an utter disgrace’.

Tree top Elche

Elche will soon have its own tree top adventure park, which is being built in the city’s Palm Tree Park.

Construction is set to last for six months with the hope that the park will ready to open in October. The scheme will not threaten the protected palm trees within the park, but is aimed at boosting visitors to the area, especially families with children and teenagers. The multi­adventure park will have a car park for 200 vehicles, a large lake and a relaxing chill­out area. The traction tower being built will be the only one of its kind in Spain, 20 metres high with two huge zip wires, 200 metres long each. The park will also cre­ ate 35 new jobs.

4G BOOST

Hi­tech mobile phone users with Vodafone Spain have more to go at, with this week’s official launch of the compa­ ny’s 4G services which allow quicker downloading of files, as well as high definition pictures. Alicante City, Elche, Orihuela, and Torrevieja are all in the new coverage area.

MORE BUILDS

New home build­ ing has soared comparatively this year in some parts of the Costa Blanca, especially in the Vega Baja with a 24% rise in the first two months of 2014 in proj­ ects around Elche, Orihuela, and Torrevieja, whilst other areas like Alicante and Benidorm are still in the dol­ drums. The double digit rise

is from a very low base, and way off the heights of a decade ago when over 52 thousand properties were built during a year in the area. Some 430 homes were constructed in the first two months in Alicante Province, with a total of over 2 thousand being built in total in 2014.

The final official nail in the coffin of plans to build one of Spain’s biggest shopping malls in the Algorfa area has been finally knocked in, with the local council refunding a 1 million Euro bond to the Orishas Trust developer. Back in the buoy­ ant days of the economy in 2007, just before the recession kicked in, expansive plans were produced to build a mall of over half a million square metres, which would have employed 2 thousand people in the Montebello II area, close to the motorway link with all the major local areas. An Eroski supermarket was going to be one of the major attractions, and with the refund, the council are still said to be interested in looking at tenders for the land.

NO GUARDS

Belt­tighting means that Torrevieja’s beaches will not have any lifeguard cover for Easter, according to the Informacion newspaper. They’ve discovered that the council has slashed the Red Cross budget from a high mark of 700 thousand Euros to just 500 thousand Euros for 2014, and that means no lifeguards over the busy Easter holiday period. The coun­ cil has responded by saying that it has done key work to improve the experience for tourists this April with better walk­ ways and railings in areas like La Mata, El Cura, and Los Locos.

BLACK BOX FOR TRAINS

Spain's national rail operator Renfe has said it will spend nearly 4 million Euros on “spy in the cab” technology for 240 trains to monitor drivers after last year’s accident in Santiago in which 79 people died. Two systems of cameras and microphones will record events in the driver's cabin on long­distance trains capable of exceeding

184 people a day were evicted from their Spanish homes last year, with a total of just over 67 thousand being forced to leave for either not paying their mortgages or breaking ten­ ancy laws. Catalunya saw the highest eviction rate, with 23.8% of the total, followed by the Valencia region with 14.6%, and Andalucia with 13.8%. The number of open cases of home foreclosures, however, dropped to 82,650 – down by 9.8% from 2012, which is down to a new law that gives judges power to prevent evictions if they believe claus­ es in the contract are ‘abusive’.

Guardamar goes multi-national

Guardamar’s Town Hall wants people from all different nations and cultures to get together tomorrow (Saturday) in the Plaza de la Constitución to celebrate Intercultural Day. One of the highlights will be to sample food from 10 different countries from 1.00pm, with fun for the children starting at 11.00am along with breakfast snacks being served. Many local voluntary groups will also be taking part including the Red Cross and the Guardamar Housewives Association.

BELLA ITALIA

160kph, including AVE, Avant and Alvia services.

The recordings will be pro­ tected in a crash­proof black box, similar to those used in aircraft, but would only be viewed in the event of an accident.

Spanish low cost carrier, Veuling, has brought forward the launch of a new link between Alicante­Elche air­ port and Rome. The service, which was due to start in May, has already started thrice­weekly flights to the Italian capital.

Friday, April 4, 2014

LESS CHOICE

Spanish TV viewers will get fewer chan­ nels to watch, as the number of national services available on the terrestrial DTT multiplex gets slashed from 24 to 15, with the deadline set by the government for clo­ sure being Tuesday May 6th. Regional and local services are not affected, though a major re­organisation of frequencies is likely happen over the coming year or two.

The free­to­air channels association, UTECA, has confirmed the shutdown, which will be done on a last on, first out basis. That means that Atresmedia will have to surrender 3 channels, as well as 2

each for the Mediaset, Veo TV and Net TV groups. A number of services have disap­ peared in recent months like Marca TV and MTV, and have been replaced by shopping channels in anticipation of a decision on the closures. The blank screens are caused by the government’s desire to auc­ tion off frequencies for use by mobile phone companies. The picture is even more dramatic in the Valencia region after last autumn’s closure of the regional Nou services, which means that the number of channels will almost halve in just a matter of months.

Murcia’s Guardia Civil have pounced on a burglary gang that’s based in Torre Pacheco and specialised in stealing from right across the region. Officers raided a Torre Pacheco home and arrested a Moroccan as well as uncovering a bazaar of goodies that he and his North African henchmen are accused of stealing. 200 stolen items were discovered by the

Guardia in a house said to be their distribu­ tion point, with the goods said to be worth 230 thousand Euros. Cars and guns were also found, as well as substantial amounts of chemicals and diesel, with the gang known to have stolen from at least 35 loca­ tions. The Guardia have promised more arrests with the Moroccan hauled before a judge in San Javier.

Alicante council is playing hard­ball over bus shuttles from Torrevieja and Benidorm linking up with the railway sta­ tion for the high speed AVE service.

The local council has refused permis­ sion for additional buses saying that the area is congest­ ed enough as it is, with Torrevieja already planning a link to Villena which they claim is faster as opposed to going to Alicante City. Torrevieja Mayor, Eduardo Dolon says that some 20 thousand tourists a year could use the shuttle, in addi­ tion to business and family travellers. Dolon

a d m i t t e d though that no starting date for the service had yet been agreed, with the Torrevieja departures slated to be from the rede­ veloped Las Eras de la Sal bus station (pictured)in the city. The Green group on the council have attacked the PP administration for not build­ ing any public toilets on the site, which mean that people wanting to “spend a penny” have to go to local bars and shops to relieve them­ selves.

The TKO Media Group has linked up with Benidorm’s new weekly newspaper, The Buzz, in a new expansion plan for both organisations. The Buzz launched last year and has made a quick splash across the Marina Baixa, with a 10 thousand circulation for the Tuesday publication day across Benidorm, Albir, Alfaz del Pi, Altea, and La Nucia. In a short space of time, the brainchild of Marco Baiardo, has attracted a major portfolio of local advertising, along with the introduction of the Vista Costa Blanca card as a big promotional tool for local businesses, offering discounts for cus­ tomers. The unique discount loyalty scheme has proved to be a big success in the Benidorm area, and is now being extended to the Southern Costa Blanca via The Courier.

“I’m absolutely delighted to become a part of the TKO family”, said Baiardo, “and we will be able to go to strength to strength after

what has been a hectic and great first year for The Buzz.

The merger of The Buzz with TKO is great news for our read­ ers and advertisers, and also it’s going to be exciting to see the impact that the Vista scheme will have over a wider area. By us coming together with TKO, it means we can expand substan­ tially in the future and we have some exciting ideas in the pipeline to boost both papers, as well as the Vista card and TKO FM”.

The TKO Media Group owns The Courier newspaper, which circulates in the Southern Costa Blanca and parts of Murcia, in addition to the popular TKO FM radio station.

TKO owner, Barry Newlove says:­ “It’s great for us to merge with The Buzz and to work with such a vibrant newspaper. It also means that we can offer our advertisers key coverage over a large part of the region via two papers, and also to bring the Vista card to our clients and Courier readers”.

ALADDIN’S CAVE

SHUTTLE LATEST

Newspapers join forces

5

6

Friday, April 4, 2014

A FEAST OF FIESTAS!

SEVILLA is one of the cities which you shouldn’t leave Spain without seeing. With its stunning Arabic palaces, gypsy quar­ ters, impressive places of worship and orange filled parks and gar­ dens, this city has a character all its own.

Despite many of the older buildings looking in need of a slight make­over, the charm of Sevilla is lost on no visi­ tors. Andalucian people are famously friendly and here it is easy to see why. Ask for directions and you’ll be almost taken to your destina­ tion.

Sevillanos are proud of their city and happy to show visitors around. They are cool dressers too, their shiny shoes and tailored suits put­ ting many a tourist to shame.

Wander around Sevilla and you will come across tiled courtyards, narrow streets, flower filled balconies and shaded plazas. If you are

Taste the REAL Spain in so-friendly Sevilla

lucky you may even see a spontaneous flamenco show with the eerie flamenco singing. Walking round parts of the city give many a visitor a feeling of nostalgia.

Shoeshine boys (or older men) still vie for your custom, benches are often full of men with their heads buried in the local daily paper, strong cof­ fee is still served in small mugs, and street sellers offer their wares in push­along trollies.

by Sevilla’s welcoming nature and open air feel.

Sevilla is situated on the banks of the tranquil waters of the River Guadalquivir, which divides the city into two halves: Sevilla and Triana. The Guadalquivir (known as Betis by the Romans and as Betik Wahd­ Al­Khabir by the Arabs) has had a major impact in the his­ tory of the city.

The location of Seville is the point where the river stops being useful for navi­ gation, where ships would moor and unload their com­ merce.

It is at this point that the cereal producing region of the Guadalquivir Valley starts, and Seville has acted as a sea­port for commerce of agricultural goods pro­ duced farther west. Intense trade existed in the area from as far back as Roman times, then continued under Muslim rule, and exploded as Seville monopolised the new trade with the Americas in the 1500’s. As the monopoly was broken and Cádiz largely took Seville's place, the city entered a period of relative decline.

In the 19th century Seville gained a reputation for its architecture and culture and was a stop along the Romantic "Grand Tour" of Europe. Seville has built on its tourism industry since, host to the lStroll around the Plaza de España playing ­ an attractive curved square near International Exposition in the city centre. A scene from Star 1992, which spurred the con­ struction of a new airport, a Wars Episode II was filmed here. new train station, a bullet lGet lost in the Barrio Santa Cruz, train link to Madrid, new stopping for tapas as you try to find bridges and improvements to the main boulevards. your way out.

Sevilla is the capital of Andalucia, the fourth largest city in Spain, with 700,000 inhabitants. The best time to visit is Easter for the proces­ sions, which are then fol­ lowed by the April Fair, filling the streets with colour and dancing from dawn until the early hours of the morning.

Book your accommodation well in advance, though, as things get fully booked very quickly. Whatever time you visit, you will be impressed

FIVE THINGS TO DO IN THE CITY WITH ORANGE A-PEEL

l Visit the Alcazar Palace and its lush gardens, lGo up the Giralda tower, one of the last remnants of the Moorish influence on Seville. lSee a Flamenco show.

TOURIST facilities are top­notch and the city is buzzing with festivals, colour and a thriving nightlife scene.

To get around the best way to see the city is on foot.

Beware of taxi drivers trying to overcharge tourists. Try to negotiate a price before you set off. The beautiful horse­drawn carriages are the nicest way to see the city, but be prepared to pay at least 20 euros for the treat.

Sevilla does have a great public transport system. The buses run frequently and cover the majority of the city in their routes. You can purchase bus cards at many news stands. Trips cost 60c or 70c, and it costs €1.50 to buy a refillable bus card (which can be topped up at many newsstands).

7

Friday, April 4, 2014

LIKE most expats, to Spain to enjoy the sun, the sea and a peaceful retire­ ment.

And in the main I have achieved my every desire.

Occasionally, however, my Mediterranean voyage has hit a stretch of choppy water.

It’s like air turbulence on a plane ­ you just wish it hadn’t started and pray it will go away.

This week’s shenanigans involved an email exchange with a stranger who had made an instant judgement of my character ­ and got it all wrong. Either that or I'm not as nice an old Grumpy as I thought I was.

Anyway, fur and feathers flew through the ether and the ensuing email war got so out of control that I was ready to commit a Midzimmer Murder.

Then, suddenly, we both realised how stupid it all was ­ and the tidal wave of turbu­ lence vanished in an instant.

The bitter foes are now the best of enemies with an upcoming coffee date on the agenda.

Oops, better not say coffee ­ it's been banned from my diet. On doctor’s orders.

Dr X wants me to sup green tea instead ­ and who am I to argue with a man

PICKING THE BONES OUT OF EXPAT LIFE... whose past patients include Royalty and Hollywood superstars?

While chiropractic is not everyone’s cup of tea, the influence of Dr Xavier Dutey­ Harispe seems to be having a positive effect on my Parkinson’s. So much so that I was positively bouncing when I left his Algorfa clinic on Tuesday. I felt 10 years younger than when I went in ­ and ready for a real knees up rather than pretending to play knee­ball as part of my exercise therapy.

I believe the combination of chiropractic, acupuncture and a caring practitioner is definitely working. And Dr X has convinced me that with his facilitation, my body’s own healing powers can reverse the increasing weak­ ness in my (left) writing hand.

I know this all sounds like a plug for Dr X ­ but, those who practice the skill insist that chiropractic does not CURE anything ­ it just clears the way for the body to complete its natural restoration process.

Meanwhile, the doctor and his assistant Catherine Estall believe there is a lack of knowledge in the general community of what chiro­ practic actually is.

Dr X also emphasises the caring side of the relationship between practitioner and patient. Unlike the cold, for­ mal relationship between most GPs and their patients, he is a great advocate of hugs and kisses.

I don’t want other victims of Parkinson’s to think chiro­ practic or acupuncture will necessarily help them.

No two people have the

same symptoms and we all have our own preferred treat­ ment and medication regimes. But I personally have a great belief in positiv­ ity and good humour as a therapy for ill health.

Now I also have physical evidence that the X Factor is actually triggering my creak­ ing body to revive itself.

Carry on at this rate and I’ll soon be joining my good friend Marjory at her line­ dancing classes.

Problem is, I'd fall off.the line.

This article is entirely my own thoughts. It does not reflect the views of other Parkinson’s sufferers. The local Parkinson’s support group meets at Bobbie­Jo’s diner in Los Montesinos at 11am on Tuesdays. For more information call Wally or Pat Williamson on 966 770 871

l

Cometh the hour, cometh Amman ADNAN Khashoggi was insistent.

“I'm sending you to treat a friend of mine,'' he told Dr X as they cruised in the Med on the Saudi arms dealer's yacht.

Bags packed, the doc was whisked to the mainland in Khashoggi's private helicopter, then on to the Middle East in one of his three private jets.

The patient in question was King Hussain of Jordan (pictured), who had been in bed for a week, afflicted by lumbar pain. Two American specialists had been brought in to treat the King for per­

ceived sciatica – but Dr X's diag­ nosis was completely different.

“Your Majesty, you've not got sciatica,'' he said. “Your big toe is dislocated.''

With that, he took hold of the King's foot and manipulated the troublesome toe back into align­ ment. “I think you'll be able to walk OK now,'' predicted Dr X. The King duly got up and discovered that he could now indeed move around without pain.

During his long career before 'retiring' to the Costa Blanca, Dr X practised in America, Europe and

Africa. But the Middle East in par­ ticular holds some special memo­ ries...not least the time he spent working in the Egyptian capital.

As a genuine Cairo­practor.

Then there was the time he arrived at the plushest hotel in his hometown of Biarritz in an entourage that included Elizabeth Taylor and Liza Minelli.

The Mayor of Biarritz, impressed to bits that a local lad was canoodling with such super­ stars, praised Dr X to the hilt in an article in the city's main newspa­ per.

“You'll get so much work out of that publicity that you just won't be able to handle it,'' predicted the Mayor. Not quite.

Dr X reflects: “Do you know how many calls I got from that article?'

“I got ONE call...from a little old lady. That's all. One single call...and you know why?

“Because everyone in Biarritz assumed wrongly that a doctor who was treating the likes of Liz Taylor and Liza Minelli would be totally out of their league price­ wise.''

8

Friday, April 4, 2014

Friday, April 4, 2014

9

10

Friday, April 4, 2014

THE LONE STRANGER

There was a strange occurrence at the pub the other evening.

And strange is the operative word, for it was indeed a stranger who descended into our midst.

Being a friendly lot, we members of the pub discus­ sion group greeted the new arrival with our customary warmth ­­ we all edged to the other end of the bar and stared suspiciously at him.

'Welcome to my hostelry,' said Dave the barman, wearing the sickly, ingratiat­ ing smile he uses when the prospect of new business rears its rare head. 'I don't believe I have had the pleas­ ure previously of your com­ pany in my establishment.'

The stranger nodded. 'No, it's my first visit. But that's what being a stranger is all about.'

At the other end of the bar, Daft Barry leaned over the shoulder of Indoor Lou and whispered urgently into my ear: 'Who is that stranger?

He's starting to scare me.'

'Don't worry,' I responded.

'That man is not here to cause us trouble.' Seeing Daft Barry relax at my com­ forting words, I couldn't resist adding: 'But you never know, Barry, he just might be a mad axeman who is on the prowl for more victims.'

Daft Barry yelped and fled the pub, nearly colliding with Fag Ash Bill who had stamped out his cigarette on the pavement and had dashed into the premises to find out what was going on.

In the meantime, Dave the barman was making his sales pitch to the stranger.

'We have a large selection of draught ales and fine wines should you consider partak­ ing of a libation.'

'Talking of draughts,' said the stranger, 'I very nearly tripped over your draft excluder on the floor as I came through the door.'

Dave the barman tittered nervously. 'That's no draft excluder. It is one of my val­ ued patrons, Ol' Red Eyes, who is taking time out from the many and varied activi­ ties on offer in my hostelry in

order to catch up on some rest.'

'On reflection, that stranger doesn't look like a mad axeman to me,' whis­ pered Daft Barry who had run back into the pub, nearly colliding with Fag Ash Bill

who had dashed back out to smoke another cigarette.

'I was only joking with you, Barry,' I whispered back.

'The stranger is probably a very nice man.' Daft Barry visibly relaxed once again so, just for the hell of it, I

added: 'But maybe he's just pretending and really loves to butcher people named Barry.'

Daft Barry shrieked and tried to flee, just as Fag Ash Bill rushed back in to find out who had screamed. This time both men did collide and went sprawling onto the floor, just missing the sleep­ ing form of Ol' Red Eyes.

Dave the barman seemed unaware of the bodies lying around for he had something else on his mind. 'Er,' he said to the stranger. 'You're not from the council, are you, coming here to investi­ gate the alleged watering­ down of my beer. Because it's all lies, I tell you. I run a respectable establishment.'

By this time, Indoor Lou, the most intelligent member of our pub discussion group, intimated that he had had enough. 'That's it!' he bel­ lowed. 'I am leaving this inn forever. You are all quite mad and I wish I had never made the acquaintance of any of you. Once I sweep through that door for the last

time, I can at last start to live my life. No doubt I shall have many mountains to climb and rivers to cross as I set off on my road to fulfilment.'

'At least stay for one last drink,' I said. Indoor Lou shrugged. 'Might as well. I'm in no rush.'

And then the stranger spoke.

'Actually, I've arranged to meet my mate in here. Eight o'clock in The Red Lion, my pal said.'

There was a silence broken only by Dave the barman announcing through gritted teeth: 'But this is NOT The Red Lion.'

'Whoops,' said the stranger. And he left the pub, this time stepping carefully over the stretched­out form of Ol' Red Eyes who was now lying between the con­ cussed Daft Barry and Fag Ash Bill.

Ol' Red Eyes opened one crimson peeper and then lurched to his feet. Glaring down at his two unconscious colleagues, he yelled: 'Clear off, the pair of you! I was sleeping here first!'

Friday, April 4, 2014

11

12

Friday, April 4, 2014

ACTION, NOT WORDS PLEASE! All of my work in Spain is now taken up with my charity and rescuing and saving as many animals’ lives as possible. We have saved dogs who were due to be put to sleep and they are now living happy, balanced lives.

We have saved kittens who would have died, including Pebbles, who we found dragging herself along the street at the age of five weeks old, due to a broken hip. She is now a very happy and content cat and living life to the full.

All of this costs money though and our vet bill this week alone has been over 500 pounds. Over the last month, our vet bills, including food has come to over 1,000 pounds. I sent out a request for donations this week, to all of my contacts. These are people I know and believe it or not I had more people unsubscribe than send a donation!

Why? These people are animal lovers and when you are asking for a donation as small as one pound or one euro, I find this fact astonishing. Everyone I meet says what wonderful work I do saving all of these animals, but the facts are that rescue costs money.

Some people this week did send a donation and for that I am eternally grateful, but to get more people unsub­ scribing is a very harsh surprise that I certainly did not expect. Like I have said before, when you see the des­ perate suffering these animals are in, that could have been your dog or dogs but for the grace of God and all I ask is a little compassion, empathy and understanding.

There are amazing human beings out there that do support my charity work and you know who you are, but this list of people is in fact tiny and the rescue work I do can simply not carry on without proper funding.

One other amazing statistic is this. The request I sent

WE SAVED THIS DOG FROM BEING PUT TO SLEEP THIS WEEK out was to 536 contacts and another 2000 on social media sites. Out of the 536 contacts, 50% failed to even open the email!

I know who opened it and who didn’t, such is the advance of technology and the people who didn’t even open the email or unsubscribed are the first to badger me with question after question about problems with their dogs and these people have never even booked me for a

consultation before!

These people know who they are and when you sent me emails about dog problems, I did not delete them did I? No, I had the courtesy and manners to reply and try and be as helpful as possible.

When starting a charity the initial outlay is costly as you need to build kennels and have other important factors in place. And when I see what organisations like the RSPCA get, in the form of donations is astronomical, despite the fact that their chief executive earns over one hundred and five thousand pounds per year and their record for putting animals to sleep is damning.

People who know me are well aware that there is no chance whatsoever that we would put even one animal to sleep because of being too full or behaviour problems, or any other reason for that matter.

I really am left hugely disappointed by the people who said they care and either unsubscribed or did not even open the email I sent out. If I had a pound for every per­ son I meet who says that we are doing brilliant work to save these animals, the charity would not be in the red.

Right now though we need action and no words. I would like to make it clear that those of you who have supported my work, I am forever indebted to you and I sincerely appreciate all you have done.

If you would be kind enough to donate anything to our charity you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

If needed the IBAN number is: GB83 NWBK 6016 0373 7549 00 and the BIC number is: NWBK GB 2L Thank you for reading this.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Born in March 2012, at 2 years old, Ellie has lived in the APAH Cattery since she was 2 months old. She is a pretty, gentle cat, who would be a wonderful cat for some­ one to give a loving home to.

She is one of 60+ cats that APAH is looking for homes for. To meet Ellie, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Pequi and Brian are around 4 months old and are Daschund x Pointer so have short legs and a long, stocky body. Pequi is a playful girl and Brian is quiet and laid back, both are good with cats and other dogs. Call: 966 725 975 www.petsinspain.com

Pequi and Brian

Ellie 5 kittens were abandoned in a box near Mercadona in La Marina, they are around 5 weeks old and in good health, there are 2 girls and 3 boys. They are good with dogs and love cuddles. Call: 966 725 975 www.petsins­ pain.com

Born in October 2012, Molly and her brothers and sisters were found as tiny puppies in a cardboard box, and have never had a loving home.

They all have very different personalities, perhaps there is one in the APAH kennels waiting for you? To meet the little family, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Molly

Ralf and Lauren were two scared little 8 week old pup­ pies found in an irrigational canal in the middle of the countryside. They had either fallen in or where thrown in, we will never know, but luc­ kily they had managed to get out of the water and onto some vegetation otherwise they would have drowned.

They have now been with us two weeks and are very energetic, happy puppies that are a small crossbreed.

They will have the relevant puppy vaccinations before they leave the kennels so if you would like to give one of these little balls of fun their forever home then please contact the kennels on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Oliver

Ralf

Cody & Barney

This is Oliver, 8 weeks old.

We have over 30 puppies in at the moment, you can find us on facebook “paraside kennels” or call 619938955

CODY & BARNEY These 4 month old pups were picked up from the countryside near Almoradi. They will probably be small to medium sized dogs and quite slim build, they are both very gentle natured dogs. Please con­ tact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Nina is around 14 months old and was thrown from a car last year. She is good with other cats and loves a lap to curl up on. Negative for all feline diseases and is sterilized. Call:645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Lauren

Poppy is a beautiful small German Shepherd, around 2years old. Poppy has her passport, chipped, vaccina­ tions up to date and has been spayed. She is a friendly girl, who likes the sound of her own voice, she would be best suited to an active household. Find us on facebook: Finca La Castellana

Porsha is a young pup from the campo, she is a GSD cross and is a loving happy girl she has been well socia­ lised with other dogs she is already obeying basic com­ mands and is a joy to be around. We think she will be medium to large. Please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail .com

Poppy

Porsha

Friday, April 4, 2014

DIG PRODUCES

13

BIRD OF PARADISE

COME ALONG AND ENJOY AN EVENING MEAL Archaeological excavations at the site of Elche’s planned new Central Market and next to the current Market building are continuing to turn up some major finds. It’s been announced that some 11th century Arab bathing areas have been uncovered, along with a 15th century slaughterhouse.

A Civil War hide­out was discovered earlier this year, and coupled with the other two findings, Elche Mayor, Mercedes Alonso has again reiterated that the discoveries will bring a major tourist boost to the area, alongside the redeveloped Central Market.

NO FLYING DUTCHMEN Two Dutchmen have been arrested after picking up a 40 kilo stash of cocaine at Alicante­Elche airport. The drug was hidden in the false bottoms of refrigerated cabinets which had been flown over to the airport from Madrid. It’s the largest seizure of drugs in Alicante Province in recent months, with officers believing that the arrested duo formed a shell company as a front for their illegal activities.

From April 10th Bird of Paradise will be serving evening meals every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, from 7pm onwards. Come along and taste their mouth­watering choices. Prices start at just 10.95 for four courses plus a drink, and the heavenly views are the perfect backdrop for a relaxing evening. The price includes a starter, Paradise appetizer, main meal, dessert and drink.

All tastes are catered for, from hungry meat eaters to vegetarians, or health enthusiasts. There are three children’s options available, with a healthy starter, main meal, kids trio of desserts and a drink.

With breath­taking views across the still waters of the Mar Menor, Bird of Paradise is situated between Lo Pagan and the windmill strip. It is the ideal place to come for some delicious home­made food served in pleasant, friendly surroundings.

The décor is light, bright and colourful, and the ter­ race is a real sun trap, so you can enjoy the stun­ ning views all year round.

All the food is completely home­made. Sue freshly bakes the cakes every morning, so if you fancy a slice of mouth­watering carrot cake, scrumptious chocolate cake or delicious Victoria sponge cake or coffee and walnut, to name but a few, this is the place to come to. From 4pm to 6pm you can enjoy a typical afternoon tea, with sandwiches, scones with cream and jam, a choice of cakes and a big pot of tea or coffee. At just 10 euros for two people you can’t go wrong.

Bird of Paradise offers a choice of breakfasts, light lunches, typical afternoon teas and an evening menu, with very competitive prices. Opening times are 11am to late, Tuesday to Sunday, and 11am to 4pm on Mondays.

Booking is advisable for evening meals.

For further details phone 634420100. See their main ad on page …. for further details.

14

Friday, April 4, 2014

INSTANT KARMA

I´m not a vindictive person. As far as I´m concerned, people live their lives as they see fit and the only ones that I bother with are my friends. I believe that I’m a loyal pal and will do anything for someone that I feel deserves it, and I know who my friends are and who would help me should I need it.

Those that want to speak badly about me can get on with it and those who believe their lies can carry on as well. I will not lose sleep over those type of peo­ ple! That said it is always good to hear when karma plays it´s hand in dealing with someone who has maybe not been the nicest person in the past and I am aware that in a couple of instances, karma has been good to me or someone I know. I am not one to feel pleased about someone´s misfortune, but if that person has done something or has been some­ what unpleasant, then I find it hard to feel anything other than a slight smugness.

I am working hard to keep my dream of staying in Spain alive, and I believe a part of that is not causing problems for anyone with no gossiping or backstabbing. I just look after myself and my family, and I get on with my life quietly and peacefully. As things get better and better for me, I have become aware of people who are not doing so well, like

maybe being forced to go back to the UK. If these people are gossips or people who believe the gossips, then as far as I´m concerned good riddance.

When I was at my darkest hours here in Spain, I found out who my friends really were. It is those who helped me through the blackness, and at that time I never thought life would improve. It was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I began to think that I must have done something very bad in a previous life. I felt that somehow karma was

punishing me, but I had no idea why. I had always kept myself to myself and ignored those who made it their priority to spread lies and vitriol, yet still felt I was being castigated. However I got through it and I’m now reaping the ben­ efits of those darkest days which have made me appreciate what I now have.

The fact that I managed to survive here in Spain and build my life makes me think that maybe it wasn´t karma after all, but just the bad luck that befalls all of us sometimes, especially those who make big decisions and change our lives.

I am still waiting for karma to catch up with some people who cannot stop themselves from manipulating the weaker members of society.

Unfortunately, it seems there are those one or two in each area or community that prey on the less strong who then follow them blindly, regardless of the cost. However I will keep my faith in everything I do and know that everything in my life that I have worked for would have been without resorting to lies or manipulation. As for the rest, I believe that karma is picking them off one by one; those people who know who they are, should watch their back, but not for me! I don´t have the time or energy to waste, but for that five letter word that is creep­ ing up on them, and when it does, once more my faith in humanity will continue to be restored.

15

Friday, April 4, 2014

RIGHT MAN AT THE RIGHT TIME SPAIN’S first democratically elected leader after the Franco era, Adolfo Suarez, was one of the most astute politi­ cians anywhere in the last 40 years, and but for his ability to bring people togeth­ er, Spain’s recent history may have been a lot more turbulent. The mourning and sadness across the country after his death was announced 12 days ago, end­ ing in last Monday’s state funeral, was genuine and appreciative of a great and popular figure.

If you look at Spain’s recent cardboard cut­out leaders like Zapatero and the current incumbent, Rajoy, they’re simply not in Suarez’s league, with both men lacking any kind of empathy with ordinary Spaniards.

Suarez had the common touch in spades, and it was also a great decision by the now under­fire King Juan Carlos, to choose him to run the country back in 1975 before polit­ ical parties could be formed and the first free elections organised.

Suarez’s achievements were extraordi­ nary, and he had the gift of communication, and used television to convey his thoughts in a natural way. It was quite a contrast from the iron fist of an elderly Franco that was just so out of touch, let alone totally undemocra­ tic. The irony was that Suarez was a key Francoist and government member under the old General, but with the strait­jacket of dictatorship removed, he legalised a wide range of political parties including the com­ munists (Franco turned in his grave on that

one); approved regional governments which Franco had barred; and of course allowed free speech. He made friends abroad quick­ ly which put Spain on a democratic interna­ tional stage, and was one of the few politi­ cians around that said that he didn’t want to outstay his welcome, and so just a couple of years into his second term, he decided to stand down as Prime Minister, telling sur­ prised TV viewers that his resignation was

Get The Courier Newspaper whenever you want! Available on iPad, iPhone and any Android powered smartphone or tablet! Just search for us in the App Store and Google Play!

“beneficial to Spain”.

And just a few days later in 1981 when MPs were voting on a successor and shots were fired in Parliament in an attempted coup, Suarez famously refused to take cover, verbally attacking the Guardia Civil officers that were involved in the action.

Not many politicians anywhere are worthy of respect and thanks, and back in the mid­ seventies, but for being the right man at the right time, one wonders what might have happened to Spain in the post­Franco era had the astute Suarez not been around?

I wonder what Suarez would have thought of the idiotic move by the Madrid govern­ ment to spend 2.4 billion Euros bailing out the bankrupt toll road companies. The politi­ cians are negotiating with the banks over creating 30 year bonds, with the bust com­ panies having 50% of their debts written off at a stroke. Why oh why is this happening when many families are living in pover­ ty? What possible public interest is there in keeping these companies going at vast expense? Let them go under and go to hell, and the government should try to prove to the public that it is telling the truth by saying that it is 50% cheaper to bail out these incompetent busi­ nesses, rather than taking the whole lot over them­ selves. Really? At least in our area, we only have five and a half years to wait before the AP7 con­ cession finishes, as reported in last week’s Courier.

LÍNEA DIRECTA ADVISES YOU HOW TO ACT IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT Línea Directa Insurance advises you of the steps to follow in case of a road accident in Spain.

1. Call the emergency number: 112. They will co­ordinate the proce­ dure and will ask you in detail about the circumstances of the accident.

2. Remain calm at all times. Switch on the emergency lights and if the state of the vehicle permits, remove the vehicle from the road, in order to avoid delays and further accidents, to the extent possible.

3. Signal the accident location. Before stepping out of the car, put on your high­visibility jacket, which is compulsory, and place the emer­ gency triangles correctly. The first must be placed about 50 metres behind the car in the direction of the traffic, and the second about 100m.

4. If someone is seriously injured, never try to move them, except if in danger of fire or imminent explosion. Cover the injured person, keep them calm and wait for the emergency services to arrive.

5. If the circumstances of the location allow, always fill in the European accident report, which is an essential document for speed­ ing up the procedures and handling between the insurance companies.

If you have any doubt about how to do this, don’t hesitate to call your insurance company.

For more information, Call 902 123 161

16

Tony

Friday, April 4, 2014

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

Mayes LICKER LOVERS ARE NUTS

Regular readers of my col­ umn know I am no lover of dogs which are capable of ripping babies and chil­ dren to pieces and inflict­ ing life­changing injuries on adults.

We've heard of far too many such cases in the UK of out­of­control dogs inflict­ ing such injuries. But now there is another even more serious dimension about owning pets ­ we are now hearing of cases of both cats and dogs in the UK contract­ ing TB, probably from infect­ ed badgers, and then pass­ ing the dreadful disease onto humans, particularly chil­ dren. In the early 20th centu­ ry many people died of TB, but thankfully these days it can be controlled by antibi­ otics, though it's still not a disease to be treated lightly or to take risks over its trans­ mission. The type of TB being passed on is bovine TB, which is far less com­ mon than human TB, which is passed from person to person. But the fact that humans can get bovine TB is why so­called animal lovers should now start to get real over their attitude to animals.

Firstly, it is well established that badgers carry TB and also transmit it. It's already well known that the disease can be transmitted from badgers to cattle. And now, it seems it can be passed to domestic pets and in turn passed to humans. That's why I am in favour of a dra­ conian badger cull. And, frankly, I am not surprised that humans get all manner of infections from their pets.

How often do you see peo­ ple allowing their prized dog to lick their face. In my book they are idiots. That same dog has gone for walks where it has sniffed at all kinds of filth in the streets, where other dogs have gone to the toilet. In addition those pets have sniffed at other

pets rear ends as well as licking their own bits and pieces. Romanies and gypsies have a strict lifestyle code and keep their pets away from their living areas ­ something I feel is very wise. People should be acutely aware of the danger of pets passing on disease, and should never allow any animal to lick the face of a baby or small child for two reasons ­ in case it bites or passes on an infection. It's more important here in Spain where there are so many feral animals, many riddled with infections and these can easily be passed to domestic animals, and then to us.

Lesbians and gays in the UK can now legally marry, the final step further than just being civil partners.

Defending the change in the law, politicians argued that Britain is a better place with gay/lesbian marriage. I would agree up to a point ­ in a modern society it is totally wrong that any person should suffer any form of dis­ crimination, but allowing gays to marry damages the entire concept of marriage, which has for centuries been regarded as a bonding between a man and a woman. The entire sanctity of marriage began to be eroded when ceremonies were allowed outside a church setting. It was further eroded when it became ever easier to get a divorce. A national poll last week asked 'will gay marriage make Britain a better place?', as the politicians suggested.

77% of 58,089 who answered the poll, replied no, which doesn't surprise me. The point I want to make over all this ­ allowing gays to marry, allowing people to marry virtually anywhere and

q

making divorce easier ­ are prime examples of politicians thinking they have a divine right to make final decisions over the lives of more than 60 million people. These are the sorts of issues which should have gone to national referenda.

q

You have to feel sorry for one of Labour's ris­ ing stars, Shadow Transport Secretary, Mary Creagh, who claims she is a victim of "inverse snobbery" because of her posh, middle class southern accent.

Miss Creagh, MP for Wakefield, said she had been the victim of ‘throw­ away comments’ and ‘assumptions’ about her upbringing from her own side. "People have sort of made assumptions on the basis that I don’t have a broad regional accent, and I’ve been quite quick to put them right about my back­ ground." In fact she grew up in Coventry, the daughter of a car factory worker, but lost her northern speak when she went to Oxford. She adds that the northern comes out when she is under stress. I have every sympathy for Miss Creagh. I am married to a northerner who has a broad accent. Whilst I'm born and bred southern with a

BBC accent. And when we visit up north, my wife advises me not to go into certain shops and speak because they will think I am a holidaymaker from the south with pots of money and ripe to be ripped off. Incidentally, my wife spent 16 years in Wales and acquired some Welsh lilt. And when she's stressed out or having an argu­ ment, the Welsh comes to the fore. I have learned to keep well clear when that hap­ pens! It's sad that peo­ ple are so quick to make assumptions about others simply on the basis of an accent. My advice to Miss Creagh ­ with your southern accent, why not consider quitting Labour and joining the Tories? I'm sure you will be made much more wel­ come!

A story which appeared in the UK press last week smacks of some of the problems encountered by us ex­pats in Spain re water/electricity bills.

Apparently travellers (you know, those people who we detest perhaps even more than illegal immigrants) tapped into a resident's water supply and notched up a £7,000 water bill. What hap­ pened next? You've guessed it ­ the water authority have been chasing the resident for the money, and the police have been less than helpful to the law­abiding owner. In despair, the householder went to his local MP, who raised the matter in the Commons. This was the exchange... Speaking in the Commons during environ­ ment questions, MP Philip Hollobone said: "One of my rural constituents in Kettering has just received a £7,000 water bill due to travellers and gypsies illegally tapping

q

into the water supply.

"Anglian Water say they can do nothing, the police are umming and ahhing, and there have been threats of intimidation against the con­ stituents concerned.

"Would you or the Water Minister kindly agree to meet with me and my constituents so we can get this dreadful situation resolved?"

Environment Secretary Owen Paterson replied: "I think you should immediately get in touch with the Water Minister and we'll take this up and see how we can help."

What a situation! Why is it that the water authority and police can't use the one brain cell they have between them and get something like that sorted?

And why do we have to tol­ erate travellers, and gypsies and everyone else trying to live on the cheap, illegally trespassing on land and committing offence after offence? They should imme­ diately have all their posses­ sions, including their rubbish vehicles which don't pass MOT tests (and are probably untaxed and insured), all confiscated and scrapped. It would only have to happen once and we would get rid of the travellers once and for all. These are people trying to live on the cheap, beyond the law and causing endless trouble to people who prop­ erly pay their taxes. They have no place in today's soci­ ety.

Here's something which gets up my nose equally as much as people living on the cheap at the expense of everyone else. It concerns a luxury boat which has been moored in a Swedish harbour for at least two years, and the owner, apparently had forgot­ ten about it. The boat was worth £65,000 and the wealthy owner thought he had sold it ­ but obviously, he hadn't and had so much

q

money he was unaware of it.

"You have to be very wealthy to be able to forget about a boat in this price range," said Swedish police inspector Tomas Andersson.

The owner now has to collect the boat and pay harbour dues ­ which, no doubt, will be like pennies to him. As much as I detest people being able to live on the cheap, avoiding tax and everything else and putting two fingers up at the rest of us, I get so angry over the likes of this rich sod just as much. Imagine the good just a fraction of the wealth of these super rich people could do in the world if they weren't so selfish and blinkered.

And finally, last Saturday we spent a day in and around Calpe and had lunch in one of those delightful fish restaurants beside the harbour (If you haven't experienced it, you're missing a treat).

The food as excellent, but one thing spoiled the lunch:­ those African looky, looky men endlessly trying to sell their rubbish, from sunglass­ es to watches, handbags to bottle ornaments, every minute or two we were pestered. But there was some amusement in the situ­ ation, because also every few minutes the police would arrive, either on foot, on motorbikes or cars and the sellers would scatter, hiding in alleyways or wherever, and then reappear when the police left. Torrevieja seafront used to be like that, until the sellers were given their marching orders, and the same should happen in Calpe.

If street­selling is illegal, then these hawkers should have their goods seized. But should they be in Europe anyway? If not, they all should be sent back to the other side of the Med on the first available boat.

q

Friday, April 4, 2014

17

18

Friday, April 4, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH ¡Hola! Bienvenido a otra semana aprendiendo el español.

Aquí están las respuestas a las traducciones de la semana pasada: Could you give me a little bit of parsley, please? ­ Por favor, ¿me podría dar un poquito de perejil? ,Mary is going to give you the money ­ María te va a dar el dinero, We're not ready yet. ­ Todavía no estamos listos, I was with them ­ Estuve con ellos, We like to run ­ A nosotros nos gusta correr, I like those over there ­ Esos de ahí me gus­ tan, I haven't done anything wrong ­ No he hecho nada malo, Are there classes today? ­ ¿Hay clases hoy?, Have you read the magazine? ­ ¿Has leído la revista?, It's neces­ sary to study ­ Hay que estudiar, We have to go to Madrid ­ Tenemos que ir a Madrid, I am going shopping ­ Voy de compras, I will go to London ­ Yo iré a Londres, I am going with you – yo voy contigo, I am going to go to the shop with you ­ Yo voy a ir a la tienda contigo, you didn´t go – tú no

Yo voy a ir a la tienda contigo,

fuiste, I would like to go to the movies with you ­ Me gustaría ir al cine contigo, I will not be able to go to the cinema ­ No podré ir al cine, Can you help me? ­ ¿Puede ayudarme? (puedes, podéis ayudarme), No pude oír nada, Can you fix it? ­ ¿Puede repararla?, Could you bring me a spoon? ­ ¿Me podría traer una cuchara?, Do you want to come with me? ­ ¿Quieres venir conmigo?,Where do I put it? ­ ¿Dónde lo pongo? I would like to make a reservation ­ Quisiera hacer una reservación, We want something sweet­ Nosotros queremos algo dulce, I would like some­ thing cheaper­ Quiero algo más barato, I want to send this postcard ­ Quiero enviar esta postal, What is this? ­ ¿Qué es esto?, Who is he? ­ ¿Quién es él?, That's too expensive ­ Es demasiado caro, What size (clothing) is it? ­ ¿Qué talla es?, Why did you put the towel there? ­ ¿Por qué pusiste la toalla allí?, Where do I put it? ­ ¿Dónde lo pongo?, The boy needs a book. ­El niño necesita un libro, What do you need? ­ ¿Qué necesitas?, We need to read the book ­ Nosotros necesitamos leer el libro, You need to see your doctor ­ necesitas ver a tu doctor, We would love to see it ­ Nos encantaría verlo, Whom did you see? ­ ¿A quién viste?, No, I haven't seen it ­ No, yo no lo he visto, I need to see your picture ID ­ Necesito ver su identificación con foto, We'll meet (see each other) tomorrow then ­ Entonces nos vemos mañana, The plane leaves at 3 o'clock ­ El avión sale a las tres, What time do you leave work? ­ ¿A qué hora sales del trabajo?, She sees the film ­ Ella ve la película.

Can I see the menu?, Puedo ver la carta? Whom did you come to see? ­ ¿A quién viene a ver?, Do you see that tower over there? ­ ¿Ves esa torre ahí?, I wrote the letter this morning ­ Yo escribí la carta esta mañana, It's neces­ sary to write with capital letters ­ Hay que escribir con letras mayúsculas, How do you write it? ­ ¿Cómo se escribe?

Los zapatos son muy __cómodos__ Las niñas son __inglesas_ no tenemos otras opciones más __baratas__ Yo río _sin__ parar, ¿Me traerás algo

Necesito ver su identificación con foto

__para__ comer? Él salió _sin__ decir adios, ¡María! ¿Cómo estás? ¡Cuánto tiempo __sin__ verte! Mi mochila está _menos_ sucia que la de Luis ¿Cómo _se dice_ ...... en español? ¿Se _puede_ ir en autobús?, Tim no hace _nada_ todo el día, ) Nosotros hemos _comido_ frutas, _han_ estado muy amables, ¡ Ya has __llegado__ ! ¿__Qué_ hora es?, ¿Con _quién_ hablo?, _Tengo_ sueño. Necesito ir a la cama, Él _habla_ muchas veces por teléfono, Ella _oye_ música, ¿Dónde _está_ el baño?

La semana que viene más revisión. ¡que tengas una buena semana!

Friday, April 4, 2014

19

20

Friday, April 4, 2014

GET MOVING, FEEL BETTER AND LIVE LONGER

Want to feel better, have more energy and perhaps even live longer? Look no further than old­fashioned exercise.

The merits of exercise — from preventing chronic health conditions to boosting confidence and self­esteem — are hard to ignore. And the benefits are yours for the tak­ ing, regardless of age, sex or physical ability.

We were made to move. It is what our bodies were built for. Exercising will: • Help lower blood pres­ sure • Increase levels of good HDL cholesterol • Cut heart attack, and dia­ betes risk • Reduce insulin needs if you have diabetes • Reduce colon cancer risk • Keep bones and joints strong • Control weight • Promote better sleep • Improve mood • Ease depression • Put the spark back into your sex life The older you are, the more important exercising becomes. Your metabolic rate slows down and you need fewer calories to main­ tain your correct weight.

Weight­bearing exercise is also needed to help prevent osteoporosis in aging bones.

You may find the threat of a future illness is not enough

motivation to change your habits now. There can be many reasons for not taking up exercise, including: • Lack of time due to work or family commitments • Cost of equipment or gym membership • Lack of facilities nearby

• Personal safety when exercising outdoors alone • Poor weather or night­ time lighting However, there are ways to overcome all of these potential barriers and work exercise into your daily life.

This could include getting off

exercise. To make a real difference, it must be regu­ lar and some of it needs to get the heart pumping.

Examples of everyday activities that count include: • Walking up stairs instead of using lifts • Walking up moving escalators • Walking instead of driv­ ing for short journeys • Doing the housework at double­time • DIY and gardening Planned exercise doesn't mean a gym. The key is to find some activities you enjoy, and to do them regularly.

• Aerobics, exercise classes, spin sessions • Dancing • Exercise bikes • Weight training is very important • Paddling, rowing, and kayaking • Swimming, surfing, and body surfing • Team sports like base­ ball and basketball • Tennis, squash, and the bus to work one or two great when you're up to it. other racket sports Meanwhile, move more." stops earlier than usual.

• Yoga, Pilates, tai chi Sixty minutes of physical Make it a daily challenge And, whenever possible, to find ways to move your activity every day is one of stay standing instead of sit­ body. "Think 'move' in small the "golden rules" for good ting. Even standing still will increments of time," It health. That includes inci­ burn more calories than sit­ doesn't have to be an hour dental activity (the calories ting on your butt! in the gym, or a 45­minute we burn in our everyday Get moving today! aerobic dance class. That's activities) and planned

What Are the Different ATHEROSCLEROSIS – THE SILENT KILLER Parts of a Herb?

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC

There are some herbs that are valuable because the whole plant is used. Others are only useful for individual parts. Plants have many com­ plicated names for their differ­ ent parts but here we’ll deal with the most common.

Flowers

Flowers are the part used extensively for the distilling of essential oils. Some flowers can be added to food. It is from flowers that we usually get the marvellous scents to add to bath salts, shampoos and cosmetics.

Usually the whole flower, including the sta­ mens is crushed. Many flowers can also be dried to be used in pot pourri. These include all the roses.

Seeds, berries, and fruits

Seeds, berries, and fruits of many herbs are used in decoctions of dried for use in cooking. Some fruits are used ground in cos­ metics and bath products. Many are also ground to make spices for food. This is very common in Asia. The range of citrus fruit are also used in cosmetics.

Leaves

One of the most useful parts of most herbs. Leaves can be crushed to add to var­

ious recipes for relief from health problems, or added to Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es food. There are few herbs Atherosclerosis is the fur­ neys.

When arteries scription drugs, we have where the leaves are not use­ ful. It’s important to filter any ring and thickening of the become plagued with ather­ been able to reduce the recipe made with leaves that arteries which leads to the osclerosis, they become blood pressure, just by loss of their elasticity. narrower and less elastic, treating it. The most effec­ bear tiny hairs.

Arteries are normally elas­ and the heart has to per­ tive way to prevent and Stems tic, and able to withstand form more work to force treat atherosclerosis is with Stems are the parts of the the daily surges that occur blood through them, and high dose Omega­3 fatty plant visible above the in blood pressure. From our this ultimately results in acid (3,500 ­ 5000 mg daily ground. Some herbs are best 20s, arteries start develop­ high blood pressure. In for 4­6 months). Men known for their stems, such as ing atherosclerosis due to turn, high blood pressure should be aware that fish oil chives. Soft stems can be included with the normal wear and tear; nev­ will cause further damage as a source of Omega­3 leaves but if they are tough, they are often ertheless this process can to the arteries leading to has been linked to the discarded, as with lemongrass. The trunks of be accelerated by a number further atherosclerosis, in a inflammation of the prostate some trees are also used in natural medi­ of factors such as poor diet, vicious cycle. Indeed, ath­ – prostatitis, making vege­ cine. These include cedar and sandalwood. and the build­up of toxins. erosclerosis is the com­ tarian omega­3´s the best Roots, rhizomes, tubers Atherosclerosis is the com­ monest cause of high blood source for men. monest cause of cardiovas­ pressure.

Unfortunately Antioxidants found in a vari­ and bulbs Roots are usually the underground parts cular diseases such as high mainstream hospitals have ety of fruits and vegetables of a plant. They keep the plant firm in the blood pressure, angina, no way of detecting athero­ are equally vital because ground, and absorb nutrients from the soil. and heart failure. At MedB sclerosis in its early stages they neutralize the effects These are often the bulk of the plant and diagnostics, it is certainly and prescribe medications of toxic free radicals, also take careful removal from the ground. one of the commonest when symptoms such as known to trigger atheroscle­ Ginger and horseradish are two plants that problems picked­up during high blood pressure occur. rosis. full body scan. In cases where atheroscle­ are renowned for the roots. The flavour is a FOR FULL BODY DIAG­ often strong and so only a little is needed to Atherosclerosis can occur rosis has been detected at enhance food. They are often used to make in any artery in the body, our diagnostic clinic in a NOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MANNU: tea. Garlic is probably the most well­known but is mostly seen in the patient with high blood MACHI heart, brain and the kid­ pressure but not on pre­ 965071745 bulb.

Friday, April 4, 2014

21

22

Friday, April 4, 2014

WHEAT ISN'T NEAT

I have an undiagnosed pain in my right groin/lower Q abdomen. I have had this on and off for almost a year.

I have taken all manner of pain pills but nothing clears it

up. I have had a TAC scan, ultra sound, smear test and blood tests but nothing shows up. At present I am wait­ ing for a colonoscopy. I eat well, sleep well and have reg­ ular bowel movements but still have this burning, sharp pain. Would your diagnostic scan detect anything like nerve damage or offer any answers? I have had neuralgia in the past and also had shingles and chickenpox years ago. I am an active 62 year­old, not overweight with a good varied diet. Other than take pills to try to sort this out I do not take any medication. But I am someone who suffers from anxiety and particularly with this problem. I hope you can offer me some help A number of factors can cause the pain you describe. On a positive note, you have had a CAT scan and ultrasound to eliminate nastier causes of lower abdominal pain such as tumours. Nevertheless, the investigations you´ve undergone so far including the awaited colonoscopy are unable to pick­ up some of the other causes of abdominal pain.

Microorganisms ­ bacteria, fungi and parasite – can cause problems that may eventually lead to sharp abdominal pain.

The diagnostic scans from our clinic very consistently pick­up microorganisms when people complain of abdominal prob­ lems such as pain, constipation, diarrhoea, indigestion etc.

Sadly, identifying microbes is no longer a priority in public hos­ pitals, which prefer to dish­out antibiotics when infections are suspected, without identifying the nature of the suspected microbe. Even when microbes are checked for in hospitals, it is only done through urine, stool and blood samples without considering that most microbes are deeply buried in tissues.

Microorganisms commonly identified when people complain of sharp abdominal pain include the different strains of the bacteria ­ Streptococcus and Staphylococcus. These bugs are usually found deep in the tissues of the stomach, small intestine, colon, spleen, liver, gall bladder, virtually all the

A

major organs of the abdomen, and they cause chronic inflam­ mation. Candida Albicans is a fungus that is also commonly picked­up during scans. Antibiotics are generally ineffective against candida. The parasite giardia intestinalis is also a cause of abdominal pain, although this is usually associated with severe diarrhoea. Many people are also unaware that intestinal worms are quite common here in southern Spain, and the diagnosis of worms doesn´t go down well with most.

Worms can grow into any organ of the body, especially the stomach, intestines, liver, and gall bladder. Inflammatory dis­ eases such as (IBS Inflammatory bowel syndrome) and food allergies can also cause abdominal pain and discomfort, and these problems tend to develop gradually. One of the most inflammatory foods consumed today is wheat, which is used to make bread, cakes, and pastries. The issue is not that nat­ ural wheat is bad for you, but that the strain of wheat commer­ cially available since the mid­1970s is a genetically modified super toxic strain of wheat. People have varying levels of sensitivity to this modern strain of wheat, and on one extreme there are people with coeliac disease, who are completely intolerant of wheat, and on the other end there are others who suffer from a slight discomfort when foods containing a lot of what are consumed. Others however, have varying levels of intolerance to wheat such as mild indigestion, bloating, and acid reflux, and these problems worsen over the years. High levels of toxins especially in digestive organs cause severe inflammation and pain. Wheat is the most commercially farmed food today, and is known to be the most contaminat­ ed. Some of the toxins identified in the diagnostic scans of people suffering from abdominal pain include; different types of insecticides and herbicides, including heavy metals like mercury, aluminium and lead. And of course as you have pointed out, a re­activation of a past virus which may have lain dormant in the nerves can cause nerve problems which will trigger sharp pains. To correctly pinpoint the cause of any health problem, a full body scan is absolutely necessary, and our diagnostic scan thoroughly goes through every organ and

system of the body, including the nerves and nervous system.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745 Lately I have noticed that I bruise easily and have red blotches all over, and my skin wounds take a longer time to heal. I am 69 years old, and on medications for heart problems and joint problems. I´ll appreciate your help.

I see quite a number of people with a similar problem at our clinic, and I am aware that most are on blood thinning medications such as aspirin. In some cases, like in people who´ve had a stent placement, or those with blood clotting disorders, these medications are absolutely necessary. But many people are either prescribed these blood thinning drugs or self­prescribe them solely on the belief that as it thins blood, it must protect the heart from blood clots. Unfortunately the risks from such medications such as internal bleeding far outweigh any benefits. Even when people are correctly pre­ scribed blood thinners like aspirin, they still run the risk of an overdose, because unlike those who take warfarin­ another blood thinner ­ and have their INR (blood thickness) moni­ tored, people on aspirin are not monitored. As you mentioned that you are taking medications for heart problems, it is pos­ sible you are taking a blood thinner, and if so, you should see your doctor to check your INR levels. In my experience most people taking around 100 mg of aspirin daily tend to have red marks all over their skin and complain of bruising easily.

Steroids are prescribed for a variety of ailments and their long term prescription cause the skin to become thinner, making it more prone to injury. You should ask your doctor to review all your medications to see if there are any that cause adverse skin reactions. People are usually re­assured that the dose they are taking of a steroidal drug is minute and can be taken on a long term; especially those suffering from asthma you are encouraged to take steroidal inhalers continuously.

However when taken over any length of time, steroids always cause severe side effects.

Q A

Friday, April 4, 2014

23

24

Friday, April 4, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

GET THEM YOUNG Energy poverty leaps

Spanish TV channels are being accused of cynically running shows that are popular amongst children deliberately into the early hours of the morning to boost ratings. With the country’s late night lifestyle being recent­ ly associated with lower than average levels of work productivity, it seems Spaniards are being encouraged to pick up the bad habit at an early age. The latest ratings show that as many as 589,000 children under the age of 12 are watching television after 10pm, which account for 3.6 percent of the total audience.

That’s when many of the new big­hit reali­ ty TV shows geared towards youngsters are being aired, including La Voz Kids (The Voice Kids) and Masterchef Junior. Although numbers drop as the hours pass, a stagger­ ing 132,000 children stay glued to “la caja tonta” (The Silly Box) between Midnight and 1.30am.

Spain’s Association of Media Users (AUC) say the “undeniable hook” being employed by the TV networks is forcing children to give up hours of sleep for their favourite shows.

"Then they wake up late the next morning, they don't eat breakfast, they arrive late at school," said AUC president Alejandro Perales. Another factor playing a part is that popular Spanish TV series last an average 73 minutes, compared to the average 45­ minute duration of most international TV shows.

“It’s a Spanish anomaly. We’ve moved away from the international standard,”

Perales told El País. TV networks are defending themselves by saying they air most of their popular TV shows for children on Sunday mornings and afternoons, but as the AUC president argues: “spectators, including young ones, value the immediacy of watching the first broadcast”.

Proponents of a change to kid’s prime time broadcasts are also scrutinising the general lateness of Spain’s TV schedule.

The Association for the Rationalisation of Spanish Working Hours argues that prime time should be brought forward an hour, par­ ticularly films and football matches which sometimes kick off as late as 11:00 pm.

According to their latest figures, Spaniards sleep 53 minutes less than the European average partly due to the influence of late night TV. Meanwhile, Clan has been voted the most popular children’s television channel in Spain, according to a new survey. Around 15% of those aged between 4 and 12 tune in every day, rising to 24% of four to six­year­ olds, the Kids TV Report found. The RTVE­ owned commercial­free channel mainly shows cartoons including Sponge Bob Squarepants, Dora the Explorer, and Tom and Jerry. The study, now in its fifth year, also found children in Spain watch an aver­ age of 2 hours and 11 minutes of television per day, a two minute increase on last year, and despite the concerns of the AUC, are in line with figures from across Europe.

The number of Spaniards who can’t afford to heat their homes has shot up by 50% in the last six years according to a report by the Association of Environmental Sciences (ACA). One in three Spanish homes where one or more members of the household are on the dole is affected by so­called 'energy poverty', where there is not enough money coming in to keep warm in winter – a condition that causes around 7,000 pre­ mature deaths worldwide every year.

According to ACA's report, a household is considered to be in a situation of 'energy poverty' when either its occupants cannot afford enough energy for their 'domestic needs', or where an 'excessive' percentage of their income is used to pay their electricity bills.

Figures taken from the year 2012 show that the number of householders who have to pay more than 10% of their income on electricity or other energy – such as gas or

oil – went up by over a third in just two years, and affects over seven million people in the country. A total of 9%, or 4 million people, say they are unable to keep their homes warm enough in winter – most of these being either in the far north of the country, or in the south and inland.

The ACA study shows a direct relationship between unemployment, being retired, or living in rural or sparsely­populat­ ed areas, and 'energy poverty' – a situation which the association warns has a serious impact on health. Not only does insufficient heating in winter lead to respiratory and rheumatic problems, but also affects per­ formance at school and work, and being unable to afford enough fuel can also have a negative effect on diet because of having to avoid cooking wherever possible.

Cooperation from utility companies in mak­ ing energy affordable is crucial for the health of the nation, ACA stresses.

Is the Holy Grail in a Spanish church? Curators were forced to remove a precious cup from a church display, after people started to swarm in to see it, after historians claimed that it was in fact the Holy Grail.

Visitors flocked to the San Isidro basilica in the north­ western city of Leon after two researchers published a book saying the ancient goblet was the mythical chalice from which Christ sipped at the Last Supper.

The director of the basilica's museum, Raquel Jaen, took the cup off display, whilst curators started to look for an exhibition space large enough to accommodate the crowds. Made of agate, gold and onyx and encrusted with precious stones, the object in Leon is formed by two goblets joined togeth­ er, with one turned up, the other down.

It has been known until now as the goblet

of the Infanta Dona Urraca, daughter of Fernando I, King of Leon from 1037 to 1065.

The two historians ­­ Leon University medieval history lecturer Margarita Torres and art historian Jose Manuel Ortega del Rio ­­ identified it as the grail in their recently published book "Kings of the Grail". In Europe alone, there are 200 supposed Holy Grails, the Spanish researchers admitted.

They attempted to debunk the authenticity of some of the better known candidates in their book.

Hail to the holy grail?

Friday, April 4, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

25

THE LAST FAREWELL A generation of Spanish polticians along with international representatives crowded into Madrid's Almudena Cathedral on Monday for a state funeral to honour Adolfo Suarez, the statesman who led Spain to democracy after the Franco dictatorship.

Foreign government envoys joined Spain's royal family and ministers who arrived at the cathedral under rainy skies along with members of the public to remember Suarez, who died on March 23rd, aged 81.

King Juan Carlos, Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy and other mourners swept up in cars to the gates of the grey stone cathedral, watched by hundreds of onlook­ ers. Other members of the public queued at a side door hoping for a last­minute seat in the mass, which filled the building with mournful organ music and hymns.

"He was the best leader we have had," said one of them, Fidel Carrasco, 72.

"If his successors had been like him,

Spain would be in a better state than it is."

Among those from overseas was the UK Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg (married to a Spaniard and a fluent Spanish speak­ er); a US delegation led by Ray Mabus, Secretary of the United States Navy, and the European Commission President, Jose Manuel Barroso.

Suarez, Spain's first elected premier after the death of dictator Francisco Franco in 1975, was admitted to hospital in Madrid on March 17th with pneumonia and died there a week later. He had suffered from Alzheimer's disease for the past decade.

He was buried two days later in his home region, in the cathedral in the town of Avila, after his coffin was borne through the streets of Madrid. But last Monday was the day for the full state honours, with a funeral mass attended by Juan Carlos, Suarez's partner in the process of democratic reform known as the Transition.

Cuddly pups rescued

180 puppies that had been smuggled into Spain from Eastern Europe have been rescued by the Guardia Civil. The cuddly canines were shipped in from Slovakia to be sold as pets and a vet has been charged with falsifying their documents.

The animal protection branch of the Guardia, known as SEPRONA, have been tracking down over 500 smuggled puppies under Operation Cato which started in January.

The SEPRONA team started following a paper trail for the dogs after using a European Union database that tracks ani­ mal movements across the continent via

SOMETHING MOVED FOR THEM

Ciudad Real fire­ fighters were called in to rescue a partially­ clad 21 year old woman who had fallen down a well shaft, after a passionate session of sex, with her partner fleeing the scene. The ABC newspaper said that the woman had been having sexual relations with a man when the cover on a waterwheel well shaft became dislodged.

She plunged 10 the pet passports. They discovered 180 of metres into the hole the puppies being transported in a truck near 'Playa Park' – a near Fraga in Huesca to a farm at an waterpark popular with unspecified location. They were due to be local youths as a sold in Girona, Barcelona, Badajoz, venue for romantic liaisons and 'botellón' Guadalajara, Malaga and Huesca.

The age of the puppies did not match the outdoor drinking parties – before hitting the details on their paperwork and irregularities water.

It is believed that the couple had inadver­ were found in their vaccination records.

The latest puppy rescue brings the total tently loosened the boards covering the well number of imported Slovakian pets inter­ while making love and had been too distract­ cepted by Spanish police to 595. 21,340 ed to notice the impending peril. The young animals have been inspected in over 2,000 man did not, unfortunately, respond in a pet shops and other points of sale, leading manner likely to inspire writers of romantic songs and novels. Instead of trying to rescue to 1,309 prosecutions.

his unfortunate partner, he hitched up his trousers and fled the scene.

Emergency services later received an anonymous call which they believe was made by him but he did not return to the scene of the accident. When firefighters res­ cued the woman she was found to be soak­ ing wet and wearing no underwear, and she was taken to Ciudad Real general hospital to be treated for symptoms of hypothermia.

26

Friday, April 4, 2014

MEJICANO MUNCHIES SMOKY PORK & BLACK BEAN TACOS Ingredients 2 tsp vegetable oil ½ red onion, chopped 2 tsp each smoked paprika and ground cumin 500g pack lean pork mince 300ml passata 5 tbsp barbecue sauce 400g can black beans, drained small bunch coriander, chopped 8 taco shells 1 ripe avocado, peeled and sliced ½ iceberg lettuce, finely shredded soured cream, to serve (optional)

Method 1. Heat the oil in a large frying pan, add the onion and cook for 5 mins until softened. Sprinkle over the spices and cook

for 1 min more. Add the mince, breaking it up with the back of a wooden spoon, and stir until cooked through.

2. Stir the passata and barbecue sauce into the pan along with 4 tbsp water. Increase the heat and allow the sauce to bubble and reduce until it clings to the meat. Add the beans, season and cook for a further 2 mins, then stir in the corian­ der. Heat the tacos following pack instructions.

3. Use the pork and bean mix to fill the tacos, top with slices of avocado, shredded iceberg lettuce and a dollop of soured cream, if you like.

SMOKY MEXICAN MEATBALL STEW Ingredients 1½ tbsp olive oil 1 large onion, finely chopped 400g beef mince 50g fresh white breadcrumbs 1 tsp each ground cumin and coriander 1½ tbsp chipotle paste

200g basmati rice 400g can chopped tomatoes 400g can kidney beans, drained and rinsed small handful coriander, to serve

Method

1. Heat 1 tbsp of the oil in a large frying pan. Cook the onion for 8­10 mins until soft, then remove from the pan.

2. Meanwhile, place the mince, breadcrumbs, spices and chipotle paste in a bowl, season generously and mix thor­ oughly. Roll mixture into 20 walnut­sized meatballs. Add the remaining oil to the pan and fry the meatballs for about 8 mins until brown all over.

3. Meanwhile, cook the rice following pack instructions.

Return the onion to the pan, adding the tomatoes, as well as a can full of water. Simmer for 5 mins, then add the kidney beans and cook for a further 10 mins, until the sauce has thickened and the meatballs are cooked through.

Season the meatballs, scatter with coriander and serve with the rice.

SPICY CHICKEN, MANGO & JALAPEÑO SALAD Ingredients 250g pack cherry toma­ toes, sliced or quartered 2 tbsp finely chopped jalapeños small handful coriander, roughly chopped juice 1 lime, plus halves to serve 1 small red onion, finely chopped 1 tbsp extra­virgin olive oil 4 cooked chicken breasts, torn into bite­sized shreds 2 Little Gem lettuces, torn into bite­sized pieces 1 red pepper, deseeded and sliced

Friday, April 4, 2014 1 ripe mango, stoned, peeled and diced handful tortilla chips, broken up a little

Method

1. Put the cherry tomatoes, jalapeños, coriander, lime juice, onion and oil in a large bowl with some seasoning.

2. Pop the remaining ingredients, except the tortilla chips, on top of the dressing. Gently mix the salad together to coat.

3. Sprinkle the tortilla chips over the top and serve immediately with lime halves.

TEX-MEX FISH FILLETS Ingredients 4 boneless white fish fil­ lets, such as haddock, hoki, pollock (about 140g/5oz each) 2 tbsp fajita seasoning or Tex­Mex sea­ soning 2 tbsp sunflower oil 200g pot guacamole handful of coriander chopped lime wedges, to serve

guacamole on top, a scattering of chopped coriander and a lime wedge for squeezing.

BLACK BEAN CHILLI Ingredients

2 tbsp olive oil 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped 2 large onions, chopped 3 tbsp sweet pimenton (Spanish paprika ) or mild chilli powder 3 tbsp ground cumin 3 tbsp cider vinegar 2 tbsp brown sugar 2 x 400g (2 x 14oz) cans chopped tomatoes 2 x 400g (2 x 14oz) cans black beans, rinsed and drained a few, or one, of the following to serve: crum­ bled feta cheese, chopped spring onions, sliced radishes, avocado chunks, soured cream

Method

leaves,

roughly

Method

1. Dust the fish in the seasoning, then set aside. Heat the oil in a shallow frying pan, then fry for 3­4 mins on each side until crisp.

Serve each piece of fish with a spoonful of

1. In a large pot, heat the olive oil and fry the garlic and onions for 5 mins until almost softened.

Add the pimenton and cumin, cook for a few mins, then add the vinegar, sugar, tomatoes and some season­ ing. Cook for 10 mins.

2. Pour in the beans and cook for another 10 mins. Serve with rice and the accompani­ ments of your choice in small bowls.

27

28

Friday, April 4, 2014

UK HEADLINES

GRISLY GOLF COURSE DISCOVERY The grisly discovery of human remains including a head and torso found hanging from a tree is at the centre of a police investigation.

The alarm was first sparked when an arm and hand were found by a dog in woods in the middle of Meyrick Park Golf Club in Bournemouth, Dorset, on Tuesday.

The pet dragged the gruesome remains out of the undergrowth in its mouth towards its shocked owner, who called police.

Officers dashed to the scene and seconded golf bug­ gies to make their way on to the course while bemused golfers looked on.

During further searches of the area today more body parts, thought to be a head and torso, were found hanging from a tree about 40ft up.

A police spokesman confirmed the remains were badly decomposed human flesh and bone of an adult that had clearly been there for some time.

Tests are being carried out on the remains to establish if they are male or female but police said they are not treat­ ing the death as suspicious at this stage.

It is believed the remains belong to someone who had hanged themselves from the branches of a tree in a clump of woodland in the centre of the course.

Holes three, four and five which form a horseshoe­shape around the tree at the 120 year old course have been closed.

Detective Inspector Mark Samuel, who is leading the investigation, said officers are looking into cases of missing persons in a bid to identify the remains.

He said: “A member of the public was walking a dog across the golf course when a discovery was made of what we believe is a human hand.

“As a result we cordoned off a certain area of the golf course and a search is continuing.

“We have employed the use of a specialist dog team from

South Wales police and they are trained in recovering body parts.

“We have found what we believe are additional body parts up a tree in the wooded area at the side of the golf course.

“It’s very high and we have got a specialist team of officers assessing the site at the moment so we can recover the body parts with dignity and preserve any evidence.

“At this stage its the assessment of the site and then clearly to identify the body so we can inform any rele­ vant next of kin and also to investigate the cause of death on behalf of the coroner.”

The body parts that have been recovered have been taken away by a private ambulance for examination.

Local dog walker Helen Johnson said: “It’s horrible. A dog discovered it in the woodland and brought it out.”

Another dog owner said: “Everyone who walks up here has said it’s an arm or hand.

“It’s not very nice at all and it’s quite creepy to think it has been in the woods for a long time without anyone knowing.”

Meryck Park Golf Club is close to Bournemouth town cen­ tre and is a public course but membership costs about £600 a year.

The holes affected by the grim find are the long par four third, the par three fourth and the fifth, which is a short par four.

Britain's most notorious nagging wife has got herself in trouble again by shouting at her hubby for buying the wrong lottery ticket.

Julie Griffiths – who was handed a five­year Anti­Social Behaviour Order in December 2012 for being a noise nuisance to her neigh­ bours – this time let rip at hen­ pecked husband Norman over a bowl of cornflakes.

And on Monday she was hauled before magistrates again for breaching the ASBO for a second time.

North Staffordshire Justice Centre heard how Griffiths, 43 – who shouts, swears and berates factory worker Norman, 65, on a daily basis – sent him to the newsagents to buy a lottery scratchcard on March 9.

But when her husband of 25 years returned she launched into a blistering rage because he had bought the wrong one.

Prosecutor Steve Knowles said nearby residents in Talke, Staffordshire, became concerned when they heard night­ shift worker Griffiths shouting.

He said: “Neighbours confirmed that they heard Julie Griffiths screaming, shouting and swearing, and later bang­ ing on the walls at her home.

"They say it went on for about 45 minutes.

"One neighbour used his mobile phone to record the noise and her voice was getting louder and loud­ er.

“Griffiths was interviewed by police and confirmed she had had an argument with her husband.”

The ASBO prohibits her from creating noise audible to neigh­ bouring properties – shouting, screaming or banging on internal doors.

But she breached the order just four months after it was first imposed when arguing with Norman last April. And on Monday she admitted breaching the order a second time.

Alan Dawson, defending, said: “She has an ASBO but dur­ ing this day in particular, there is an argument at the address and it’s as simple as that.

“This is a lady who wants to get on with her life and keep herself to herself, but there is going to be some escape of noise in relation to her neighbours.”

Griffiths had been warned after her first breach that she could face jail but magistrates decided to fine her £165.

She was also ordered to pay £105 court costs and must attend anger management classes.

A MAN who was told to sacrifice parts of his body to become rich willingly let a vicious hyena EAT his penis and his toes.

Chamangeni Zulu was mauled by the animal while he was out in the African bush, but he actively sought out the attack after some "advice" from a witch doctor.

Zulu, who is aged between 20 and 24, claims he was told that losing parts of the body would result in untold riches.

He told the Times of Zambia: "I came from Malawi and when I arrived in Chipata I met some business persons who told me that the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body.

"I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked and a hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten."

After the attack took place, Zulu managed to crawl to a road where he was spotted by passing police officers who rushed him to Chipata General Hospital.

The incident took place last month and Zulu confirmed he had lost three toes as well as his genitals.

He currently remains not rich.

WHAT A NAG!!

Ouch! That hurt

Friday, April 4, 2014

29

30

Friday, April 4, 2014

Help wanted for Help REACH OUT EXPANDS Help at Home Costa Blanca urgently needs more volunteers to keep it going due to more people using it in recent weeks. The three­ year­old charity offers people when they are in need, a range of home­ help services, such as taking them to hospital or a medical centre; minor home nursing care; help with shopping and house cleaning; or just sitting in to give a carer an hour or two break; as well as simple befriending.

Charity president Eileen Mayes said: "We hear of so many people who, for one reason

or another, need our help and, obviously, we want to assist as many as possible, but without people who are prepared to give up an hour of their time, there is lit­ tle we can do. We particularly would like to hear from people who have some nursing and caring skills, but everyone is more than welcome, because people's needs are very wide and varied."

Anyone who is prepared to offer their help is asked to contact the charity on 604 151 364 (office, manned 10.30am to 2pm); or 603 267 140 (2.30pm to 6pm).

BAG A BARGAIN

Help Murcia Mar Menor are putting on their Spring Fair next

Thursday (April 10th) at the Arches Restaurant in Los Alcazares. Lots of

stalls are promised and the selling starts at 11.00am.

CHEEKY RASCALS

There’s no expense spared in the latest Rascals variety show, as The Spice Girls, Adele, Susan Boyle, Amy Winehouse, and Michael Buble all line up for The Best of Times is Now, which will be put on across the area this May and June.

Excerpts from popular musicals like Oliver, Chicago and Bugsy Malone will be mixed in with comedy sketches, plus appearances from “top stars” that the Rascals promise will surprise and enter­

tain you!

The show will be put on at the Los Montesinos School of Music and Culture on Wednesday May 7th and Thursday May 8th; the Casa de Cultura in Guardamar on Thursday May 29th, and at Torrevieja’s Virgen del Carmen Theatre on Sunday June 15th. All performances will start at 7.30pm and tickets are priced at 6 Euros. For more details and reserva­ tions, phone Sue on 966 784 874.

Elche’s run for home

A record­breaking 3 and a half thousand runners pounded the streets of Elche and the sur­ rounding area in last Sunday’s 42nd staging of the Elche half marathon, which claims to be the oldest continually running half marathon event in the world. The times were not earth­shattering, as the Valencian­based Moroccan, Hassan Ahouchar easily took the men’s race, with the Alicante­based Cuban, Yamilka Gonzalez, romping home in the women’s category.

Torrevieja­based homeless charity, Reach Out, is ready to officially launch their brand new furniture department as part of their on­ going fund raising efforts to keep their work going in the community. Reach Out have a new drop­off point for all donations in Calle Joven Pura. Two fund­raising events are

coming up, with a Beetle Drive this evening (April 4th) at the Asturias Restaurants, cost­ ing 5 Euros to include sandwiches and cakes, and then on Tuesday April 15th, Timeless Fashion are staging a fashion show at their shop at the Punta Prima Commercial Centre, starting at 2.00pm.

Bradford leads on Easter

Biblical historian, Dr Adam Bradford, will be the special guest speaker at an Easter conference organised by the Torrevieja­based evangelical church, the International Christian Assembly. Dr Bradford has written five books, including two about the New Testament, and his works have been translated into eight lan­ guages. He has ministered at Christian conferences in the UK, the USA and New Zealand, as well as being an NHS Commissioner for the London Borough of Southwark, and working as a sports doctor for the world’s oldest rugby club, Blackheath.

He will be ministering at the church on April 17th (Maundy Thursday) and April 18th (Good Friday), both at 7pm, in addition to Easter Sunday, April 20th at 11am. The church is at Calle Urbano Arregui, on the southern side of Torrevieja. For further information call 966 799 273.

IN THE PINK Torrevieja’s small busi­ nesses have linked up with a group of Rojales students to put on a top class fash­ ion show this Sunday lunchtime in aid of Maria and the Pink Ladies and the AECC Contra El Cancer charity. The “Pink it Together” group was formed just four months ago amongst a group of girls studying at the Nordic Institute of Rojales, and they’ve persuaded Torrevieja’s small business group, APYMECO, to pro­ vide all the clothes and jew­ els for the fashion show which is being staged at Torrevieja’s Municipal Theatre between 1.00 and 3.00pm. Entry for the for­ mal dress event is 10 Euros, with reservations on 667 583 921 or by E­mail at sigridewing@gmail.com

Friday, April 4, 2014

31

32

Friday, April 4, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Incredible feelings of enthusiasm, opti­ mism, and sheer joy could fill your heart and mind today, Aries. Your life is changing in a positive way, and even though it may not be readily apparent, you're sensing it intuitively. Romance with someone from far away could be in the offing. If you're a writer, publishing is right around the corner.

The only downside is that you might feel panicky, as if all this will disappear.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Some beautiful dreams or visions, per­ haps involving angels, spirit guides, or other such beings, could come today, Taurus. Listen carefully to the messages they bring. Whether they involve matters in your material life, intellectual or spiritual concerns, or future events, they can shed light on a lot of facts about you of which you might not be aware.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 Love and romance continue to blossom, Gemini. Social events could find you and your beloved among both old and new friends, perhaps letting some of them know for the first time that you're actually an item. Someone close to both of you could be planning a wedding and invite you to come. Don't be surprised if it gives your partner ideas!

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Are things really going this beautifully for you, Cancer? This is a question you might ask yourself now. All looks perfect as career, romance, education, and spiritual matters seem to crystallize into a wonder­ ful life. Don't waste time worrying if this is all too good to be true! You're concerned about the future, but right now, live in the moment. You're creating some great memories, if nothing else. Enjoy!

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Expanding your horizons is definitely on the agenda today, Leo. Travel, education, creativity – they're all coming to the fore­ front of your concerns. Romance should also be going well. A friend could intro­ duce you to a new interest, and children might also be a source of joy. Happiness reigns as you're able to spend more time pursuing the concerns that mean the most to you.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Are you working at home now or perhaps considering it, Virgo? If so, remember that you'll probably enjoy the comfort and freedom it provides. Being in your own territory among your books and pets and wearing your old clothes will feel good. However, in no way will working on your own compromise your work ethic. If anything, you'll get more done than ever. Dig in and go for the gold.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A social event in your neighborhood could connect you with people who share your spiritual and intellectual inclinations, Libra.

As a result, you'll probably make some new friends and spend a lot of time on the phone with them over the next few days. If you're single, one could be a potential love partner.

If you're a writer or artist, expect oodles of inspiration to hit you as a result of all this.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 A project that you're working on, perhaps job related, perhaps personal, is likely to require more creative skill than you usually need, Scorpio. Writing, drawing, or computer graph­ ics could be involved. You might have some doubts about your abilities, but you're more likely to be surprised by the results. You're apt to enjoy working this way, and you may hope to continue.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 If you're artistic by nature, Sagittarius, expect a rush of inspiration to hit today, along with an irresistible compulsion to start a new project and work until you can see at least some results. If you've never been artistic before, you may suddenly feel like giving it a try, perhaps using com­ puter technology. No matter what, you're likely to derive a lot of pleasure from it, so go to it. Have fun!

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 Something wonderful could happen to you today at home, Capricorn. A lover could declare eternal devotion, spiritual revelations could come thick and fast, or great news regarding career or money matters could be just over the horizon.

Whatever comes is apt to bring happiness for all concerned. You may pinch yourself to make sure you're awake! Relax and enjoy it.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Developments over the past few days could have you feeling very excited and particu­ larly optimistic about your love life, Aquarius. Communications with your beloved could take the form of romantic songs or poetry. If you want to give your friend a gift, by all means do, but confine it to something nonthreatening like a book.

Everything seems great now, but too much emotional expression and material gen­ erosity could overwhelm your friend.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 If you're involved in the arts, Pisces, expect today to hear about an opportunity to exhibit your work publicly. There should be a very positive reaction to it, so you can expect a lot of compliments and ego­ boosts. An opportunity to earn some money from your work could also come along. Don't turn it down out of shyness or insecurity. Go for the gold.

33

Friday, April 4, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

ADVICE: Peter was having problems printing.

Hi Richard, my computer is working fine, but I have a small problem when it comes to printing?

I go to print document then up comes a sign PDF Complete document creation optional. Regardless of what I do this stops me printing. What have I done wrong?

Never seen this sign before! Regards Peter.

Q

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Steve was having a runtime error in Internet Explorer

Q

Hi Richard. I am receiving the following error on my computer, can you help?

Below is the runtime error box.

C:\program files\internet explorer\IEXPLORE.EXE Cheers, Steve

Hi Peter, with regards to your prob­ lem it sounds to me like you have a PDF writer as the default printer, you can check this by going into the control panel (start > control panel > view devices and printers) and check­ ing whether there is a ‘tick’ next to the printer you want to be used, if there is not (as I suspect is the case) then just right hand click the printer in question and choose ‘set as default print­ er’ This should sort out the problem

A

ADVICE: Robert wanted to know whether he could convert his printer to a wireless printer

Q A

I have a Lexmark all in one printer, model X3650, is there an adapter to convert it to Wi­Fi and if so what is the cost.

Hi Robert, no I'm afraid as is the case with most printers, there is no manufac­ turer accessory to make this printer wireless. There are a few things that you could do however.

If you connect the printer to a computer that is, in turn, con­ nected to your home network via a wireless router then the printer can be "shared" from this computer and made avail­ able to other computers in the home. Also you could, alter­ natively, add a wireless print server to the back of your printer and "convert" it into a wireless printer, the downside here however is the cost of the wireless print server (usually over 50 euros) makes the cost of doing it almost equal to buying a new printer with the wireless functionality built in ­ we have wireless printers in the TechShop from just 70 euros.

A

Hi Steve, so that looks like Internet Explorer is crashing. Probably the best place and easiest to start with, would be to reset Internet Explorer, you can do this by going into Internet Explorer and then clicking on Tools, Internet Options and choosing the Advanced tab. From there you can click on the Reset button to reset Internet Explorer, restart it and see if that makes things better.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

34

Friday, April 4, 2014

Drivers against remote ITALY SELLS LUXURY stopping devices STATE CARS ON EBAY

EU PLANS to introduce remote stopping devices that can be activated by the police in an emergency have been met with con­ cern by drivers.

Under the proposed leg­ islation a six­year timetable for remote stop­ ping devices is planned with the aim of police being able to bring dangerous

Italy’s government is selling off scores of official cars including Jaguars and Maseratis, on eBay as it strives to show it is responding to public pressure to cut spend­ ing and the privileges of the powerful.

A total of 151 vehicles, including 40 BMWs, are up for sale — a fraction of a 60,000­strong fleet owned by Italy’s public bodies that the state estimates costs over €1bn a year to run.

The auction is unlikely to make a dent in Italy’s €2 trillion debt. But it is widely seen as a highly visible and symbolic move by high­speed car chases to a Matteo Renzi, the new prime minister. halt. A device would be fit­ Popular fury at the luxuries enjoyed by the ted to all cars that would political elite at a time of economic hardship allow a central control helped the anti­establishment 5­Star room to cut the ignition and fuel supply of any vehicle.

The survey commission

by Comparethemarket.com revealed that 47% of those polled think that the imple­ mentation of the proposal will ‘lead to a Big Brother state’. Almost a third (29%) believe that the device ‘could lead to more acci­ dents than it prevents’, while an alarming 46% fear that the technology has the potential to be abused by the police.

The implementation of the technology also has the potential to affect future car purchases too, as 24% of respondents said it would actively dis­ suade them from choosing a car that had the device fitted. On the other hand, 48% of drivers stated they would be ‘more likely to support the proposal’ if they had the power to acti­ vate it themselves as a security device.

Julie Daniels, Head of Motor Insurance at com­ parethemarket.com said: “The idea of being able to remotely stop all vehicles would have once been confined to the storyline of a sci­fi movie. However we’re seeing more and more technology develop­ ments playing a part in the way we drive vehicles. Our research shows there is still some work to be done before the UK supports remote stopping, with real concern around civil liber­ ties.”

Movement sweep up a quarter of votes in its first national election a year ago.

But Renzi, who took power in a February party coup, has sought to transform the pub­ lic mood with promises of tax cuts, ambitious reforms, and a less ostentatious style.

He drove to a meeting with his predeces­ sor Enrico Letta, shortly before he replaced him, at the wheel of a blue Smart car.

Nine Maseratis are also on offer at the auction, which runs until mid­April.

Italian media reported they were the cars that became the subject of heated debate when they were ordered by the defence min­ istry shortly before the government of Silvio Berlusconi collapsed at the peak of the euro­ zone debt crisis.

Friday, April 4, 2014

35

36

Friday, April 4, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 4 represents D and 2 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Formerly (4) 3 Assumed name (5) 8 Handles clumsily (7) 9 Second month of spring (5) 10 Surplus (5) 11 Germ­free (7) 12 Projectile (6) 14 Acquiesce (6) 17 Apparel (7) 19 Revolutionary (5) 21 Leans (5) 22 Desert (7) 24 Military blockade (5) 25 Form a curve (4)

1 See 23 2 Punctuation mark (5) 3 Aid (6) 4 Annoyed (5) 5 Outlive (7) 6 Sheep's woolly covering (6) 7 Woodland plant (8) 10 Sternly (8) 13 Selects (7) 15 Food grain (6) 16 Get away (6) 18 Hurry (5) 20 Emblem (5) 23/1 Fall asleep (3,3)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Scared, 4 Rancid, 9 Risotto, 10 Lunar, 11 Extra, 12 Nowhere, 13 Poltergeist, 18 Useless, 20 False, 22 Koala, 23 Dormant, 24 Mallet, 25 Nectar.

Down: 1 Shriek, 2 Asset, 3 Extract, 5 Allow, 6 Confess, 7 Dorset, 8 Countryside, 14 Overall, 15 Enforce, 16 Bunkum, 17 Jester, 19 Evade, 21 Least.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 The French go on to pool (6) 8 Slow passage of a US soldier through a party (6) 9 Autopsy reveals play­ things (4) 10 A client has a new place in Spain (8) 11 Worried about the wood having holes (7) 13 Rank former prime min­ ister (5) 15 Pageants not set for heathen (5) 17 Pointed out red tape (7) 20 Do stop or crash into the jamb (8) 21 Bird often seen in the afternoon (4) 22 Pollute seabed badly (6) 23 A forged tenner for cur­ dled milk (6)

Down 1 Prefer a small gift (6) 2 Sticks the first pieces of roughcast on damp sur­ face (4) 3 Drive an angry, unwel­ come guest (7) 4 Many eager to see the old king (5) 5 Shell motor at full speed (8) 6 Writer outside street restaurant (6) 12 Baker ate cooked rest period (3,5) 14 Joy of new Peru art (7) 16 Some razor espied in volcanic islands (6) 18 Money­making scheme student’s unable to start (6) 19 One centres on what apparently is empty for a French impressionist (5) 21 Shelter found in deten­ tion centre (4) 2 Slender sticks (4) 3 Attacker (7) 4 Biblical character who fought Goliath (5) 5 Tortoise’s shell (8) 6 Small informal restaurant (6) 12 Short rest period from work (3,5) 14 Feeling of intense pleas­ ure (7) 16 Islands in the Atlantic Ocean (6) 18 Breadwinner (6) 19 French impressionist painter (5) 21 Canvas shelter (4)

STANDARD CLUES Across 7 Shallow bay (6) 8 Leisurely tempo (6) 9 Betters (4) 10 Spanish port (8) 11 Worried (7) 13 Army officer (5) 15 Heathen (5) 17 Became gradually nar­ rower (7) 20 Jamb (8) 21 Aquatic bird (4) 22 Corrupt morally (6) 23 Curdling agent (6) Down 1 Promote over another (6) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Sitcom, 4 Nelson, 9 Biretta, 10 Hoist, 11 Reef, 12 Coroner, 15 Austen, 16 Diodes, 19 Museums, 21 Mace, 24 Bella, 25 Imposed, 26 Esther, 27 Slated.

Down: 1 Suburban, 2 Turkeys, 3 Oath, 5 Ethiopia, 6 Spine, 7 Note, 8 Cabot, 13 Beverage, 14 Ascended, 17 Dead set, 18 Email, 20 Unlit, 22 Oboe, 23 Opal.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Eft Ego Roe 4 letter words Agog Asia Avid Bard Dine Dose Earl Egad Ends Eras Feet

Here Idea Idle Laid Lane Leer Lily Opal Over Race Sago Sari Slat Slew Slow Soda Star Teen Tern

Tree Tyro Used Uses Yawn Zero 5 letter words Adder Agent Apart Apian Avail Carve Colds Corgi Elder Grasp

Leave Orris Rapid Rasta Robes Senna Serve Steed Stern Stews Sword Tiara Tweak Welds Winey 6 letter words Caress

Caster Gratis Poster Presto Razors Shears Street 7 letter words Artiste Awkward Panacea Terrace 8 letter words Idealist Sidelong

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 To unstick (8) 4 Minutes (of a meeting) (4) 7 Espinillas (5) 9 Code (cipher) (5) 11 Floor (of room) (5) 12 Vende (5) 13 Saludo (militar) (6) 15 Strawberries (fruit) (6) 19 Canciones (5) 21 Asientos (muebles) (5) 23 Intercambia (sellos, fotos) (5) 24 Smooth (skin) (5) 25 Side (of person) (4) 26 Trillizos (8)

Down 1 Later (7) 2 Suizo (5) 3 Anchovy (salted, tinned) (6) 5 Both (5) 6 Country (nation) (4) 8 Dulce (postre, galleta, vino) (5) 10 They (5) 14 Pulmones (5) 16 Carreteras (5) 17 Éxito (buen resultado) (7) 18 Adviser (6) 19 Caracol (5) 20 Cisne (4) 22 Esclavo (5)

37

Friday, April 4, 2014 Across 1 Alloy of copper and zinc (5) 4 American term for a jun­ ior supervisor with some responsibility but little authority (5,4) 9 At or near or toward the stern of a ship or tail of an aeroplane (3) 10 Polynesian garland of flowers (3) 11 Rich fabric woven with a raised pattern, typically with gold or silver thread (7) 12 Word that can precede: coat, end, gate, lamp, or, piece, spin and wind (4) 13 Type of embroidery on a canvas ground, consisting of small, diagonal, adjacent stitches (5,5) 15 Relating to or deter­ mined by the sun (5) 16 Treat a sacred place or thing with violent disrespect (9)

17 Skilful performance or ability without difficulty (9) 21 Heron with mainly white plumage, having long plumes in the breeding sea­ son (5) 23 Excluded from society or from one’s social group (10) 24 Soft thick worm­like larva of certain beetles and other insects (4) 27 Poem or other literary work in the form of a letter or series of letters, derived from Ancient Greek for ‘I send a message’ (7) 28/29 Canine trained to work with a shooting­party (3,3) 30 Of a material able to soak up liquid easily (9) 31 Surname of the manag­ er of Manchester United from 1945 to 1969 (5) Down 1 Modified leaf or scale,

SUDOKU (Medium)

Quiz Word

typically small, with a flower or flower cluster in its axil (5) 2 In TV cartoon series

Wacky Races, group of seven pint­sized gangsters who drive the Bullet Proof Bomb: the ­­­ ­­­­ Mob (3,4)

3 Character in the Star Wars universe, portrayed

by Harrison Ford in the original trilogy: Han ­­­­ (4) 4 Fixed regular sum paid as a salary or as expenses to a clergyman, teacher, or public official (7) 5 American author of over 25 best­selling novels, including A Stone for Danny Fisher (1952) and The Carpetbaggers (1961): Harold ­­­­­­­ (7) 6 Bird with strong claws and a stiff tail adapted for climbing and a hard chisel­ like bill for boring into trees for insects (10) 7 Egg­shaped terra cotta wind instrument with a mouthpiece and finger holes (7) 8 Any confection made wholly or chiefly of sugar (9) 14 Drafting instrument used

to draw or measure angles (10) 15 Television or radio drama serial dealing typi­ cally with daily events in the lives of the same group of characters (4,5) 18 Implies or requires (7) 19 Gaze or stare supersti­ tiously believed to cause harm (4,3) 20 Use of dexterity or cun­ ning, especially so as to deceive (7) 22 Christian Church orna­ mental screen covering the wall at the back of an altar (7) 25 In golf, a score of one stroke over par at a hole (5) 26 Person with an exagger­ ated respect for high social position or wealth who seeks to associate with social superiors and looks down on those regarded as socially inferior (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

HACER EJERCICIO

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

andar

estirar

bajar de peso

hacer dieta

calentar

levantar pesas

comida sana

nadar

correr

ponerte en forma

ducharse

relajar

enfriar

ropa comoda

estar saludable

sudar

history QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. It was dog doing life for killing a cat. 2.

Christmas 3. Italy 4. Square to ensure a Square meal 5.

Crimean 6. The Inquisition 7. sooner state 8. Budapest, Hungary 9. Comic Strip, put out by the New York World. 10.

Cleanliness, he washed his hands every 5 min. 11.

Colchester

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Sandwich, 5 Dim sum, 9 Socrates, 10 Havens, 12 Evade, 13 Crescendo, 14 Limpet, 16 Tobacco, 19 Trellis, 21 Vienna, 23 Gore Vidal, 26 Arbour, 27 Sinn Féin, 28 Astute, 29 Dead heat.

Down: 1 Sister, 2 Nectarine, 3 Whale, 4 Crew cut, 6 Irascible, 7 Sheen, 8 Mastodon, 11/20/25A West Side Story, 15 Pole vault, 17 Cantonese, 18 Stigmata, 21 Vulpine, 22 Cygnet, 24 Rabat, 25 Synod.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.andar, 2.bajar de peso,

15.ropa comoda, 16.sudar.

l.to run, m.to stretch,

3.calentar, 4.comida sana,

a.to get fit, b.healthy food,

n.to be healthy,

5.correr, 6.ducharse, 7.enfriar,

c.comfortable clothes,

o.to go on a diet,

8.estar saludable, 9.estirar,

d.to sweat, e.to lose weight,

p.to lift weights.

10.hacer dieta,

f.to relax, g.to walk,

11.levantar pesas, 12.nadar,

h.to warm up, i.to swim,

13.ponerte en forma, 14.relajar,

Soduko

j.to shower, k.to cool down,

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1g, 2e, 3h, 4b, 5l, 6j, 7k, 8n, 9m, 10o, 11p, 12i, 13a, 14f, 15c, 16d.

1. What was unusual about convict 2599 who was doing time in Pen State prison 1924?

2. Between 1659 and 1681 what was it illegal to cele­ brate in Massachusetts?

3. What country did the allies invade in world war II's Operation Avalanche?

4. What shape were the sailors plates in Nelson's navy?

5. In which war did the charge of the Light Brigade occur?

6. Which Institution Was Founded By The Roman Catholic Church In The 13th Century To Root Out Heresay?

7. What is the nickname of oklahoma?

8. Where was Harry Houdini born?

9. The 'Yellow Kid' by Richard Felton Outcault was the world's first what?

10. Walt Disney had an obsessive compulsion with what?

11. Where Was The Roman's First Colony Based In England?

Fill It In

38

Friday, April 4, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY COME BACK KEN

with ALEX TRELINSKI THERE’S no doubt that Coronation Street is suffer­ ing some post­Hayley blues with a series of plots and new characters that are verging on tedium, and I write this as a massive fan.

The Tina/Peter storyline is ridiculous, so much so that old Pete hit the bottle this week after finding out that he might have put “his bit on the side” up the duff, along with his wife Carla telling him that she’s expecting the patter of tiny Barlow feet. The problem is that once Tina’s bumped­ off in the “whodunit”, it will be just strung out for all eternity, but it can‘t come soon enough for me! Other current

yawns include the uninterest­ ing affair between Sophie and tear­away Maddie, who both just deserve a good slapping from Kevin, who so far has appeared spaced­out on his Corrie return (and Michael Le Vell is now on a break in re­hab); Tina’s new housemate Steph and her brother turned mechanic, Luke, have no charisma at all, and look to be out of their depth; and the

Todd/Maria/Marcus storyline has been a joke, with Todd having been totally reinvent­ ed as a manipulative liar (Why?). It’s saying some­ thing that David and Kylie Platt appear to be amongst the most normal characters on the Street at the moment, but for a hairdresser, what’s gone wrong with David’s own hair style? I don’t blame Michelle Collins for bowing out as Stella on Wednesday and landing a new gig on Casualty as a bit of love interest for Jeff!

Corrie’s charm seems to have disappeared in the last two months, and so roll on Ken Barlow’s return this sum­ mer from his enforced absence in Canada to knock all of this into shape, because it certainly needs it!

It’s only a soap, but weird and improbable plots were never the main part of the Coronation Street fabric over the decades, but at the moment I’m getting more entertainment from the Meerkats popping up for a few seconds, rather than the

programme itself.

q

I was so sad to hear about the death of Kate O’Mara last weekend, as she seemed to pop up on virtually every popular TV show for some 25 years, and had bags of sex appeal and played larger than life roles, often with a hidden agenda in popular dramas like The Brothers, Howard’s Way or Dynasty. She even did a great cameo on Benidorm two years ago, and always seemed to be full of energy. I interviewed Kate a dozen years ago, and in a live and no time limit late night show, we steadily worked our way down countless programmes that she had appeared in and she gave some very candid comments about some of her co­stars. She was also more than happy to send herself up, especially when we chat­ ted about the worst British TV soap ever, Triangle, set on a freezing cold ferry that trav­ elled to non­exotic locations.

I played the theme tune and she burst out laughing, freely

admitting that it was rubbish but that the BBC pay cheques were lovely.

Characters like Kate are get­ ting sadly few and far between, but my thanks to her for some great TV moments.

q

Great to see Person of Interest back on Channel Five, as I continue to champion this show as one of the most entertaining US dramas around, and no surprises that the BBC have ordered not one, but two more seasons of The Voice. I wonder though if they’ll take the plunge and do a kids ver­ sion, which proved to be very popular recently on Telecinco here in Spain? And for Stella fans on Sky 1, wasn’t it great to see a happy ending to the third series, rather the heart­ breaks of the previous two?

A Stella wedding please for next year! Meanwhile, Friday nights return to normal today with the return of Have I Got News For You, and The Graham Norton Show.

Friday April 4 00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional New 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 More Creatures Great and Small 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Gay, Married and Legal 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 MasterChef 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Outnumbered 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Who Murdered Maxine?

00:50 Panorama

01:25 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Now's the Hour 06:00 Schools ­ You Too Can Be an Absolute Genius 06:30 Fazer's Urban Takeover 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Saints and Scroungers 09:15 Wanted Down Under 10:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:00 Pound Shop Wars 11:30 Live Davis Cup Tennis 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Davis Cup Tennis 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 The Voice: Louder on Two 20:30 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 A Very British Renaissance 23:00 The Trip to Italy 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 The Last Word 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Martin Clunes & a Lion Called Mugie 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 National Lampoon's Animal House

THE LIMBLESS MOUNTAINERR In January 1999, Jamie Andrew was stranded in a blizzard in the French Alps for five days and sub­ sequently had all four limbs amputated due to frostbite. With the help of physiotherapy and pros­ thetics he not only learned to walk again, but with­ in a year began snowboarding and eventually returned to mountaineering.

00:05 How to Win the Grand National 01:10 One Born Every Minute 02:05 Three Wives, One Husband 03:00 Random Acts 03:05 First Dates 04:00 Katie: My Beautiful Friends 04:55 Nigel Farage: Who Are You? 05:50 SuperScrimpers 06:20 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 06:50 Deal or No Deal 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 A Place in the Sun 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 17:30 Four in a Bed 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 A Very British Mission 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 CSI: NY 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Conned, Fleeced and Left for Broke 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:15 Finding a Family 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 The Limbless Mountaineer 23:00 NCIS: Los Angeles

39

Saturday April 5 08:05 On Moonlight Bay 00:25 Would I Lie to You? 00:55 EastEnders 02:45 Weatherview 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Mary Berry Cooks 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:10 Football Focus 14:00 Live Davis Cup Tennis 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Shrek 2 19:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 The Voice UK 22:05 The National Lottery Live 22:15 Casualty 23:05 BBC News; Weather 23:25 Match of the Day

09:40 The Living Planet 10:35 The Living Planet 11:30 Fred Dibnah's Made in Britain 12:30 Great British Railway Journeys 13:00 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:45 Live Women's International Football 16:00 The Glass Bottom Boat 17:45 Mountain Gorilla 18:45 Collectaholics 19:45 Flog It! 20:30 Dad's Army 21:00 The Plantagenets 22:00 Formula 1 23:15 Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle 23:45 QI XL

01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Dino Dan 07:10 Dino Dan 07:25 Matt Hatter Chronicles 07:50 Canimals 08:00 Canimals 08:05 Canimals 08:10 Om Nom Stories 08:15 Sooty 08:30 Scrambled!

10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:20 Dinner Date 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 13:30 Twins 15:30 The Chase 16:30 Midsomer Murders 18:30 ITV Meridian Weather 18:40 ITV News and Weather 19:00 You've Been Framed!

20:00 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 21:25 The Cube 22:25 Law & Order: UK 23:25 The Americans

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats 00:55 Brooklyn Nine­Nine 01:25 Random Acts 01:30 Coming to America 03:30 Happy Endings 03:55 Franklin & Bash 04:35 The Good Wife 05:25 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 05:40 SuperScrimpers 06:05 River Cottage Bites 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Trans World Sport 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Morning Line 11:00 Sunday Brunch 14:00 Channel 4 Racing 18:15 Fifteen to One 19:15 Channel 4 News 19:35 Lent Diaries 19:40 Gadget Man 20:10 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 21:05 Hostages 22:00 Colombiana

COLOMBIANA 00:00 Weather 00:05 Michael Clayton 02:00 Question Time 03:00 Davina: Beyond Breaking

Action adventure starring Zoe Saldana. After wit­ nessing her parents' murder by a drugs gang as a child, Cataleya Restrepo grows up to become a ruthless assassin in the hope that one day it will enable her to exact revenge for her loss.

Point 04:00 This Is BBC Two 07:00 The Saint in London

00:00 A Damn Shame 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 On Benefits & Proud 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Milkshake! Monkey 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Meerkat Manor 11:30 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 12:30 Hercules the Human Bear 13:30 McBride: Anybody Here Murder Marty?

15:10 Columbo: Mind over Mayhem 16:45 Columbo: Dagger of the Mind 18:40 Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise 20:15 A Damn Shame 21:05 NCIS 22:00 5 News Weekend 22:05 Most Shocking Moments in Pop

Sunday April 6 07:30 Countryfile 00:50 The Football League Show 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:00 BBC News 13:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 13:15 Live Davis Cup Tennis 16:55 Songs of Praise 17:30 The Boat Race 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The Crimson Field 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

00:30 Welcome to Collinwood 01:50 Beauty & the Briefcase 03:15 This Is BBC Two

08:30 Gardeners' World 09:00 The Beechgrove Garden 09:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:00 James Martin: Home Comforts 11:30 Live Davis Cup Tennis 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Escape to the Country 14:45 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 17:30 Live Davis Cup Tennis 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Inspire: The Olympic Journey 20:00 Great Barrier Reef 21:00 Border Country: The Story of Britain's Lost Middleland 22:00 Louis Theroux's LA Stories 23:00 Formula 1

00:25 00:39 00:40 01:40 04:00 04:45 07:00 07:25 07:50 08:10 08:15 08:30 10:25 10:30 11:25 12:25 12:34 12:35 14:25 14:55 16:00 17:00 19:20 19:30 19:45 20:30 21:00 23:00 23:14 23:15

ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Through the Keyhole Jackpot247 In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen Dino Dan Matt Hatter Chronicles Canimals Om Nom Stories Sooty Scrambled!

ITV News Murder, She Wrote Dickinson's Real Deal ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Columbo: No Time To Die The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Big Star's Little Star Martin Clunes: Man to Manta For Your Eyes Only ITV Meridian Weather ITV News and Weather Catchphrase Off Their Rockers Endeavour ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Piers Morgan's Life Stories

THE CRIMSON FIELD New series. It seems viewers are in love with period dramas, with the likes of Call the Midwife, Downton Abbey and Mr Selfridge proving hugely popular.

The BBC continues its Midwife trend but goes fur­ ther back in time with this medical drama that fol­ lows the brave doctors, nurses and volunteer women working in First World War France, patch­ ing up soldiers wounded in the trenches.

E00:10 The Guard 02:05 Hard Eight 03:45 Hollyoaks 05:50 Deal or No Deal 06:45 SuperScrimpers 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 Street Velodrome 08:10 How I Met Your Mother 08:35 How I Met Your Mother 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Secret Eaters 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 The Big Bang Theory 15:25 The Simpsons 15:55 The Simpsons 16:25 Hairspray 18:40 Deal or No Deal 19:35 Channel 4 News 19:55 Lent Diaries 20:00 Iceman Murder Mystery 21:00 Secret History 22:00 The Grey

01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Conned, Fleeced and Left for Broke 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Milkshake! Monkey 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Mio Mao 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Power Rangers Super Samurai 11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 13:05 Police Interceptors 14:05 National Security 15:45 Are We Done Yet? 17:30 Alpha and Omega 19:05 Surf's Up 20:45 5 News Weekend 20:50 Ladder 49 23:00 The Next Three Days

40

Monday April 7 00:30 The Graham Norton Show 01:15 Jacknife 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 17:00 More Creatures Great and Small 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 The Treasure Hunters 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show

00:30 Cross of Iron 02:40 Countryfile 03:35 Holby City

04:35 Silk 05:35 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:50 Saints and Scroungers 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 The Restaurant Man 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:15 Cagney & Lacey 16:00 Triathlon 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Mary Berry Cooks 22:00 Coffee Shop Hot Shots: Business Boomers 23:00 Rev 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 The Cube 01:15 The Store 03:15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 I Never Knew That About Britain 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Undeniable 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Agenda

00:20 What Lies Beneath 02:40 The Good Wife 03:25 The Hotel 04:20 Secret Removers 05:15 SuperScrimpers 05:40 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:50 Deal or No Deal 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Fifteen to One 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Lent Diaries 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Shut Your Facebook

MARY BERRY COOKS The food writer and Great British Bake Off judge demonstrates recipes for an outdoor summer lunch, including salmon fillets with herb sauce, ham with home­made chutney, and fillet of beef with garlic and mustard cream. To accompany the cold meats and fish, Mary prepares two salads ­ one with fiery red rice, and the other featuring broad bean and little gem ­ and finishes off by mak­ ing a summer pudding

01:25 World's 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 NCIS 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 Diagnosis Murder 16:20 Columbo: the Most Dangerous Match 17:55 Access 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 19:35 Criminals: Caught on Camera 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Shops and Robbers: Britain's War on Shoplifters 23:00 Law & Disorder: Catching Crims Live

Tuesday April 8 00:25 Late Kick Off 00:55 Live at the Apollo 01:40 Weatherview 01:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 17:00 More Creatures Great and Small 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Shetland 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:20 Louis Theroux's LA Stories 01:20 A Very British Renaissance 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ I Was There: The Great War 06:00 History Hunt

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:50 Saints and Scroungers 09:20 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 10:05 Great British Garden Revival 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:05 The Super League Show 14:50 Golf: The Masters 15:45 Coast 16:15 Planet Earth 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Great British Sewing Bee 22:00 The Battle for Britain's Breakfast 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 Inside Death Row with Trevor McDonald 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

THE NIGHTMARE NEIGHBOUR NEXT DOOR Documentary using eyewitness testimony and footage from camcorders, CCTV and phones to examine the experiences of people who have become involved in disputes with neighbours.

00:20 Gogglebox 01:20 New Worlds 02:20 Random Acts 02:25 Hostages 03:10 The Good Wife 04:00 Secret Removers 04:55 SuperScrimpers 05:50 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Fifteen to One 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Lent Diaries 21:00 Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds 22:00 New Worlds 23:15 12 Year Old Lifer: True Stories

00:00 Closing Time 01:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 02:00 Fat for Cash 02:50 SuperCasino 04:30 Killing Spree 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 NCIS 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 Diagnosis Murder 16:20 Columbo: Blueprint for Murder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 19:35 Criminals: Caught on Camera 20:00 Stop! Police Interceptors 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 22:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

23:00 The Mentalist

41

Wednesday April 9 00:20 The Box 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 17:00 More Creatures Great and Small 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Monkey Planet 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Marine 'A': Criminal or Casualty of War?

00:20 Border Country: The Story of Britain's Lost Middleland 01:20 The Plantagenets 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Modern Monarchy

06:00 Schools ­ Spark 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Saints and Scroungers 09:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Food & Drink 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Cagney & Lacey 16:15 Planet Earth 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job 22:00 Ian Hislop's Olden Days ­ The Power of the Past in Britain 23:00 W1A 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Big Star's Little Star 22:00 Law & Order: UK 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Paul O'Grady's Animal Orphans

00:25 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:25 Random Acts 01:30 Poker 02:25 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:50 Trans World Sport 03:45 Street Velodrome 04:15 Secret Removers 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Fifteen to One 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Lent Diaries 21:00 Secret Eaters 22:00 Dead Famous DNA 23:00 The £60,000 Puppy: Cloning Man's Best Friend

THE £60,000 PUPPY

Documentary following a unique competition in which one lucky British dog owner will win the chance to have his or her beloved pooch cloned

by South Korean research facility Sooam Biotech. An array of hopefuls, who cannot bear to think of life without their four­legged friends, invite the scientists into their homes to show why they deserve the opportunity to have a genetic replica of their particular pet.

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:55 Body of Proof 02:35 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 03:00 SuperCasino 04:30 The Limbless Mountaineer 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Diagnosis Murder 16:10 Columbo Likes the Nightlife 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 19:35 Criminals: Caught on Camera 20:00 Stop! Police Interceptors 21:00 Killing Spree 22:00 Britain's Crime Capitals: Crime Map 23:00 NCIS

Thursday April 10 00:25 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show 01:15 Weatherview 01:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 17:00 More Creatures Great and Small 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Don't Cap My Benefits 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 Golf: The Masters 00:50 Coffee Shop Hot Shots: Business Boomers 01:50 See Hear 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night­time:

From Page to Stage 06:00 Schools ­ Bringing Books to Life 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:50 Saints and Scroungers 09:20 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 10:05 Fake or Fortune?

11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Coast 16:15 Planet Earth 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Digby Jones: The New Troubleshooter 22:00 The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Baboons with Bill Bailey 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 British Touring Car Championship 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Ade at Sea 22:00 It'll Be Alright on the Night 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Exposure

DON’T CAP MY BENEFITS Documentary exploring the effect of the Government's benefits changes in Brent, one of London's worst­hit boroughs, following the per­ sonal stories of those most affected over a period of six months. As claimants struggle with the loss of hundreds of pounds and have to move else­ where in search of cheaper rents, this Panorama special meets people battling to stay in their homes.

00:00 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Music on 4: Music Nation 01:35 Employee of the Month 03:25 A Mighty Heart 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:35 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Fifteen to One 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Lent Diaries 21:00 The Hoarder Next Door 22:00 15,000 Kids and Counting 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

00:00 Castle 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 02:35 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 03:00 SuperCasino 04:30 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 NCIS 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 Diagnosis Murder 16:20 Columbo: Dead Weight 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 19:35 Criminals: Caught on Camera 20:00 Stop! Police Interceptors 21:00 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 22:00 The Unseen Fred West Confessions 23:00 Running Riot: Britain's Teen Criminals

42

Friday, April 4, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

clientele. Hard working bar.

For more information con­ tact 637 362 863 (157) BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

ALCHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Bar for traspaso Well established, 9 year old, beach front terrace on the Mar Menor, with a good mix of both British and Spanish

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

welcome from any Church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Easter Services, Good Friday at 11 am with Holy Communion, and Easter Sunday at 11 am.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness. Meets in the function room at sackos bar el liminar just off the cv 905 rojales to torrevieja road We have a divine service on Sundays 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.45 pm for those who wishing to devel­ op there mediumistic skills.

Healing is available by trained and certificated heal­ ers after each meeting. A warm welcome to friends old and new. The mediums for march are Sun 2nd Debbie Blevins wed 5th Trish Doherty & Jaqueline Holland hunt flowercentience ( bring a flower that no one else has touched ) Sun 9th Belinda Bradley and Sandra Galley wed 12th David Darnbourgh Sun 16th Sammy Fitzimmons wed 19th Suzy Hilton, ( visiting from the uk ) sun 23rd Suzy Hilton, who is being ordained as a minister at this service Wed 26th

Morag Bullock, sun 30th Trish Doherty ( mother’s day service ) For further informa­ tion call Trish on 966 844 795 or email therainbowcen­ trecostablanca@gmail.com

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­ prehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PERSONAL NEW: Elegant and Seductive Mature (40) Busty (40DD) in Torrevieja. Engl.

Sp. Tel: 642 651 686 11am to 7pm looking for col­ league. (162)

BLINDS

BARBER

CATERING

ALARMS

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart­ ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or

CARPENTER

626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Molino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb commu­ nal pool area, in within walk­ ing distance of bars, restau­ rants and shops. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS

43

Friday, April 4, 2014 Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000

GARDENER

Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 78, €110,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished,

CAR BREAKERS

Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Corner Plot Property in the lower end of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,

Under build, Roof top Solarium Being sold Fully Furnished including White goods. Walking distance to all local amenities. 139.950e Ref. GA0087 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath­ roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi­ or furnishings are top quali­ ty, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel

DRAINAGE

heater rails, glazed in show­ er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €72,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur­ bished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern

vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com

PETS

44

Friday, April 4, 2014

Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Limited Edition Fortaleze in Gran Alacant Exceptionally Large Plot. 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Private Pool with Decorative Garden, Private Parking, Electric Gates, Glazed in Porch, Solarium, Under build. Quiet sought after area. Very tastefully fur­ nished and all included 370.000e Ref. K52 Tel. 627711155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the

real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantas­ tic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever con­ structed­ Very large 5 bed­ rooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­ suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys­ tem and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €23,950. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create

RAG AND BONE

another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Large 4 Bedroom, 4 Bathroom, 2 Kitchens, 2 Lounges, 600m2+ plot Large Retractable Glazed in Pool for all year swimming, Private Parking for 4 cars, Very low­maintenance, Fully Furnished. 330.000e but Negotiable. Very different to the other properties in Gran Alacant and is disabled friendly Ref: L80 Tel. 680333242 Mid Terraced Townhouse on Avda Polognia, Gran Alacant Furnished to a very high standard and includes White Goods. 3 Bed, 2 Bath, Lounge Diner, Fully convert­ ed Under build offering a second lounge and large storage area. Roof top Solarium, Glazed in galleria with extended worktops.

Front Garden with BBQ, Communal Pool with Gardens. 132.000e Ref. K16 Tel. 627711155 Semi­Detached Villa with Open Greenland Views to the Rear and Alicante Views to the Front, means this property in Gran Alacant would appeal to anybody looking for a quiet location.

Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge diner, with working Fire place, Porch, Solarium, Established Gardens and Private Pool, Private Parking on a large plot.

265.000e Ref. L95 Tel.

680333242 Ground Floor Duplex, on the Monte y Mar estate of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Fully furnished, Private Parking, Communal pool Ref. GA0094 NOw only 83.000e Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gar­ dens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low mainte­ nance very private gardens with irrigation system, elec­ tronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section.

Within easy walking dis­ tance to Gran Alacant com­ mercial centre and close to local bus and tram route.

Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and

REMOVALS

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

Position 2 is for an experi­ enced sales negotiator for their La Marina office. The ideal candidates will speak English and at least one other language and will have good knowledge of the local real estate market.

Both positions are full time with contracts and competi­ tive rates of pay. Please send your CV’s into Stuart on stuart.markham @opgroupspain.com or call 966729653 Chef required. Must have at least 5 years experience and health / hygiene certifi­ cate. Have flare for new menus and able to work on own initiative. Guardamar area. 672929585 English / Russian translator required by book publisher.

Call 618 715 998 for more info.

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com OP Group Spain are seek­ ing 2 enthusiastic people to join their expanding team.

Position 1 is for an experi­ enced office administrator at their La Finca Golf office.

POOLS

SURVEYOR

WINDOW CLEANER

VAN HIRE

Friday, April 4, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

SEVE’S SHADOW IN TROPHY ROW

Last week’s intercontinental clash for the EurAsia Cup had the build­up over­ shadowed by a rancorous dispute involving one of the best­loved names in the game, with the European and Asian Tours pitted against the family of the late Seve Ballesteros.

The row developed because the EurAsia Cup effectively usurps the Royal Trophy, a team contest between Asia and Europe played since 2006 that was Ballesteros's brainchild and run by his company Amen Corner. In its early years, the Royal Trophy was accorded approved status by the European Tour but business rela­ tions between the Wentworth­based circuit and the Ballesteros family firm have significantly deteriorated since then.

The European Tour, meanwhile, recognises the importance of strengthening its links in the Far East ­ and accordingly knows the potential of a match such as the one that was played in Kuala Lumpar last week. Asia remains the great golfing battleground for those looking to exploit areas of growth. Two native circuits, the Asian Tour and the One Asia Tour, compete ferociously to stage top professional events.

The European Tour has long since had a foothold in the con­ tinent while the PGA Tour has been stretching east from the United States.

Amen Corner's foothold was the Royal Trophy, but tucked away in the calendar and always played in Asia it struggled for resonance. The potential of the match was never fully exploited. The same cannot be said of the Ballesteros name.

The memory of the five­time major champion was repeatedly invoked during the run­up to the EurAsia Cup and European Tour boss George O'Grady prompted fury when he claimed Ballesteros would have "cherished" the new contest. The remarks led to the release of a copy of a letter from Seve to the Asian Tour that was sent in 2010, a year before his death from brain cancer.

Seve wrote "The Royal Trophy is an event which has a very special place in my heart; it is a legacy of mine that I passion­ ately desire to leave for future generations. We have been informed by the European Tour that the Asian Tour is interested in developing an event in this very same format. I sincerely hope that the news I have received is a misunderstanding and that the Asian Tour will be will­ ing to join us in the Royal Trophy on mutually accept­ able terms but will not be intending to copy it. This would certainly not meet the standards of morality and fairness which are the trademark of our sport."

These are powerful and emotive sentiments coming from such a beloved golfing figure, but there is a bigger picture. In the harsh world of golfing business, the European and Asian

Tours feel better placed to exploit such a potentially impor­ tant match. Apparently since 2010, the European Tour has raised over £1.2 million for the foundation and that figure will be added to after the recent EurAsia Cup. The Seve Ballesteros Foundation is run by Seve's children and heirs Javier, Miguel and Carmen.

Last week, Miguel Angel Jimenez led his 10­strong Euro side against an Asian team skippered by Thailand's Thongchai Jaidee at the Glenmarie Golf and Country Club.

Of those involved, Jaidee and compatriot Kiradech Aphibarnrat both played in the last Royal Trophy, as did Stephen Gallacher and Thorbjorn Olesen for the Europeans, with Graeme McDowell the biggest name to take part. In his most recent blog, the Northern Irishman stated his belief that there is only room in the calendar for one form of this con­ test. It was something of a curiosity though that it was launched in a Ryder Cup year.

As a team competition, there is a gap in the market following the apparent demise of another Amen Corner project, still more closely associated with Ballesteros, the Seve Trophy, which pitted continental Europe against Great Britain and Ireland. Another crucial difference between the EurAsia Cup and the Royal Trophy is that it is proposed that it become a home­and­away match like the Ryder Cup. That way it stands a chance of being noticed in Europe. It was an oppor­ tunity for the likes of Jamie Donaldson, Victor Dubuisson and Joost Luiten representing their continent ahead of likely Ryder Cup debuts in September.

Europe's captain at Gleneagles, Paul McGinley, was on hand while one of his deputies Des Smyth served as vice­ captain to Jimenez. On and off the course there is no doubt this can serve as a golfing week of some significance which is why it has generated such strong feelings among the rival factions.

two victories for the Europeans on the final day.

Jaidee beat former US Open champion Graeme McDowell 3&2 and reigning Asian number one Kiradech Aphibarnrat saw off Thomas Bjorn 2&1. In the final match, Scot Stephen Gallacher had a heavy loss against Siddikur Rahman, put­ ting Asia ahead for the first time in the week.

However, Joost Luiten, having seen a three­hole lead reduced to one, holed from five feet to par the 18th and beat Japan's Koumei Oda to level the scores.

In the decisive final match, Spaniard Fernandez­ Castano missed a two­foot putt on the 15th to fall one down, but levelled with a stunning eagle on the 16th. Japan's Tanihara saved par from 10 feet on the 17th, and Fernandez­Castano held his nerve on the last before spar­ ing his opponent from having to putt.

Jaidee "Everyone played really well. I think the match is unbelievable, it was a good finish, to end on the last, and on the 18th hole, it's fantastic. I have never seen a match like this. It's very close and amazing, we had a good draw and good pairings; I think that was the key point."

Jimenez, said: "It's been an amazing day of golf, very tough.

At the end of the week, the European team did not win the tournament but the Asian team played very well Asia, Europe, they both win, nobody loses. But at the same time golf wins" Now it’s onto next week and The Masters! So you know the drill, book your time with the remote; get the lovely lady to go shopping; and get the munchies and beverages in from Mercadona or Carrefour in readiness for annual domination of the TV, and remind those that an early morning call is out of the question as it is an early morning finish!

THE MATCH ITSELF

In the match, Asia completed a remarkable comeback to tie the inaugural EurAsia Cup 10­10 in Kuala Lumpur.

Thongchai Jaidee's team lost the fourballs 5­0 and trailed 7­ 3 ahead of the 10 single matches, leaving Europe three­and­ a­half points from victory. But after six Asia wins, the contest came down to the match between Gonzalo Fernandez­ Castano and Hideto Tanihara.

Fernandez­Castano holed from three feet to par the last and conceded Tanihara's shorter putt to ensure a tie.

Europe captain Miguel Angel Jimenez earned an early point with a birdie on the 18th to beat 23­year­old Malaysian wild card Nicholas Fung, but it was one of only

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION A player removes a partially embedded acorn on the green as it is in the line of his putt. He goes to repair the depression, what is the ruling?

A: He is allowed to remove the acorn and repair the depression.

B: The player cannot remove the acorn.

C: The player can remove the acorn but not repair the depression.

ANSWER C: Any other damage to the putting green, except an old plug hole or impact from a ball, cannot be repaired to assist the player.

TITTER ON THE TEE An old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg.

“I am afraid it’s just old age”, there is nothing we can do about it” said the Doctor.

“That can’t be. You don’t know what talking about.” fumed the old man “How can you know I am wrong?” countered the doctor.

“Well it’s quite obvious my other leg is fine, and it’s exactly the same age!”

46

Friday, April 4, 2014

GOOD POINT, BUT… VILLARREAL 1 ELCHE 1

Elche remain dangerously close to the relegation zone despite picking up a creditable point at European hopefuls Villarreal. Damian Suarez (pictured celebrating) gave Fran Escriba's side the lead from the penalty spot on the half­hour mark but Jonathan Pereira levelled on the stroke of half­time as the spoils were shared at El Madrigal. The result means Elche are just two points above the drop zone, and they entertain fel­ low­strugglers Getafe, who are just below them in the table, in a must­win match this Sunday afternoon.

REAL EASY REAL MADRID 3 BORUSSIA DORTMUND 0

Real Madrid's bid for a record 10th European Cup title moved another step closer with a con­ vincing win over Borussia Dortmund in the first leg of their Champions League quarter­final clash at the Bernabeu. Gareth Bale got things rolling with the opening goal inside three min­ utes and Isco added a second before Cristiano Ronaldo contin­ ued his stunning form in the competition with Madrid's third just before the hour.

THE REAL DEAL REAL MADRID 5 RAYO VALLECANO 0

Gareth Bale scored twice as Real Madrid ended a dis­ mal week with a comprehen­ sive derby victory over Rayo Vallecano at a rain­swept Bernabeu.

Losses to Barcelona and Sevilla ­ the first time Madrid have suf­ fered successive defeats in La Liga since the 2008/09 season ­had badly hit their title hopes, but they got their campaign back on track in style. Cristiano Ronaldo's early strike was all that sepa­ rated the sides at the break, but Madrid cut loose in the second half with Bale netting his first goals in seven games while Daniel Carvajal and substitute Alvaro Morata were also on the mark.

Madrid are away to Real Sociedad this Saturday evening,

BARCA BAN

Spanish champions Barcelona will appeal over being given a 14­month transfer ban by FIFA for breaking rules on signing interna­ tional players under 18. The club confirmed the move on Wednesday night after being told that they cannot buy or sell players until the summer of 2015. They have also been

fined over 360 thousand Euros. FIFA has also rapped the Spanish Football Federation (RFEF) over the knuckles for the same breaches. The RFEF has been given a fined over 400 thousand Euros and told to sort out its system over signing international under 18 players within a year.

ALL TO PLAY FOR BARCELONA 1 ATLETICO MADRID 1

Neymar equalised a wonder­strike from Diego Ribas (pictured) to leave the all­ Spanish Champions League quarter­final fine­ ly balanced. Brazilian forward Diego, who had come on to replace Atletico's injured talisman Diego Costa after half an hour, unleashed an unstoppable drive to put the visitors ahead on 57 minutes. But compatriot Neymar drew Barcelona level 14 minutes later after a fine pass from Iniesta. The visitors were clinging on by the end, relying on goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois to make some outstanding saves.

SPOT ON MESSI

JUANPE FUMES

ESPANYOL 0 BARCELONA 1

Lionel Messi scored his third penalty in 6 days to give Barcelona a 1­0 win at local rivals Espanyol last Saturday, which keeps up the pressure on La Liga leaders, Atletico Madrid. With 14 minutes remaining of a difficult afternoon for Gerardo Martino's side, the prolific Argentina forward calmly sent his spot­kick the other side of Espanyol goalkeeper Kiko Casilla, who was then sent off for handling another shot from Messi outside his area. Barcelona have an easy look­ ing match at home to Real Betis tomorrow (Saturday) early evening.

CD MONTESINOS 1 TD MONTESINOS 0

FOUR MINUTES TO FORGET FC TORREVIEJA 3 CULLERA 3

CD Montesinos were left squirming after scraping a pathetic derby victory against a bottom side that have conceded over 100 goals this season and don’t have a single point to their name. The first half was goal­ less with nothing for CD to show for all their pressure and possession, being frustrated by a resolute TD defence.. With leading CD scorer Vaz being rested, manager Juanpe rightly thought his side could easily win the match minus his talents, but the boss provid­ ed some of the best entertainment of the afternoon when his half­time team talk bel­ lowed all over the ground, as he went into a

furious rage against his players. Once every­ body removed their ear­muffs, the 2nd half once again saw CD dominate, but it took a spot kick from Marcos to get CD to open their account. But the frustrating afternoon continued as Rodrigo squandered a second penalty as he tried to be too clever and hit the ball over the bar, which saw manager Juanpe’s face turn into various shades of red and crimson as concern appeared for his high blood pressure levels, and he nearly had to be hospitalised when a Manu tackle stopped TD from getting a late equaliser. CD are away to Sporting Orihuela this weekend.

Torrevieja threw away a 3­nil advantage against 10 man Cullera, in just 4 crazy min­ utes, which they almost lost at the Vicente Garcia stadium on Sunday. Despite playing for 70 minutes with only 10 men, Cullera never stopped trying. They conceded two penalties, both despatched with consum­ mate ease, by Alberto and then Obele.

When Pastor added a third Torry goal with little over 5 minutes of play remaining, some fans took that as their cue to make tracks home, with all 3 points safely in the bag.

Cullera then rattled home three quick­fire goals in 4 minutes to earn a draw, led by a great strike from Primo from the edge of the box in the 86 minute, which gave the visi­ tors confidence to throw caution to the wind, as Torrevieja’s afternoon unbelievably unravelled. Their next stop is a short haul to

Elda this Saturday to play league leaders Eldense with a 4.30 pm start before a Wednesday night 6pm kick off at the Vicente Garcia against Ribarroja.

47

Friday, April 4, 2014

YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE – AGAIN….

It seems that in another heart­breaking Hillsborough­haunted week, somehow fittingly Liverpool FC have returned to the top of the Premier League. As a result some football questions spring to mind: 4 – 4 – 2? 4 – 1 – 3 – 2? Diamond forma­ tion? Stevie G re­invented? Suarez sort­ ed? Rodgers a master strategist?

Any of these reasons to be cheerful apply to the Red half of Merseyside, plus many more plausible pleas for their success can be put forward to explain just why Liverpool are currently top of The Premier League right now – and excitingly, if they win their last six games, the Reds will gloriously and deservedly win the title:­their first league title since 1990. And if they do, Liverpool will take possession of that prestigious prize from their bitterest rivals Manchester United, currently in some kind of mid­table crisis, due entirely due to their change of manager: funny, that.

‘Cos Liverpool have been there, done that, got it wrong and look now to have pol­ ished a gem. From that great club servant Kenny Dalglish’s second coming through Rafa Benitez and current England manager Roy Hodgson, Liverpool team management hasn’t worked completely at a club whose name is synonymous world­wide while win­ ning with style at the top of English and

European football ­ although Benitez did deliver the European Cup and enjoyed some success in his six years at the club.

But in the quietly­spoken Irishman Brendan Rodgers, Liverpool have rather surprisingly in football’s eyes acquired the right man for the job, and the results can clearly be seen in one of the most competitive leagues in the world – and league tables never lie.

Early retirement from playing due to injury at Reading forced a coaching role as early as Rodgers 20th year, and after travelling in Spain to study football, Rodgers worked

SHARKS BITE BACK TOTANA 7 LOS SQUALOS SAN JAVIER 64

The Sharks got their promotion bid from League 2 back on the road after two successive defeats against sides that had filled their line­up’s with first team players. The Sharks were totally in con­ trol with 3 tries from South African full­ back, Daniel, and an outstanding individ­ ual effort from flanker, Juanma. Next date for the Sharks is this Saturday at home to Yecla with a 5.00pm kick off at the Polideportivo, near to Iceland, in San Javier

under the great Jose Mourinho in the Portuguese’ first dynamic spell at Chelsea in 2004, later becoming assistant manager at Stamford Bridge in 2008. Full club manage­ ment at Watford followed , then back to Reading for a period that proved unsuccess­ ful, but ensured more vital experience was acquired for a highly­pressurized position that demands multi­skills, and quickly shows up any weaknesses (think Tottenham, Fulham, Cardiff et al…). On arriving at Swansea, Rodgers benefitted from excellent work done by a similarly­talented young Spaniard, Roberto Martinez: the man from Northern Ireland carried on the good work to establish the South Walians in the Premier League, a well­illuminated arena where there is simply nowhere to hide. And then Liverpool came calling.

Rodgers is so committed to his football ideology that he originally famously present­ ed the Liverpool owners with a 180­page dossier to explain his philosophies. The new manager openly said he would need time to see which of the players he already had, could carry out his vision. And oh, how he has carried that out!

At Anfield, Rodgers has gratifyingly relied heavily on British talent such as Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Joe Allen, Daniel

Sturridge, Jordan Henderson, Glen Johnson and Jon Flanagan. Accordingly in keeping with his principles those shown the door by Rodgers included Andy Carroll, Joe Cole, Stewart Downing, Charlie Adam, Fabio Aurelio, Dirk Kuyt, Maxi Rodriguez and Alberto Aquilani. All were first­team players who were ruthlessly moved out in the early rebuilding stages. Under Rodgers, the much­maligned £20m signing Jordan Henderson has gone from accusations that cruelly labelled him a waste of money, to a regular mainstay of the Liverpool midfield and a possible England World Cup starter.

Steven Gerrard has also been reinvigorated in a deeper role that relies on his positional senses and deadly­accurate passing. The Liverpool captain recently lauded Rodgers publically, saying the way he deals with individual players had been a “revelation”.

There is one particular issue, however where it would seem Rodgers deserves sainthood. As the Red Army have steadily worked their way to the top this season, hardly any mention has been made of Rodgers’ mastery in turning Luis Suarez from English football’s Public Enemy Number One to easily lead the Premiership goalscoring table by ten golden goals (and he missed the first five games, still banned ironically). This, above all Rodgers’ talents has been a master stroke: in many games this season Suarez has at times been unplayable, his speed, ability and enthusi­ asm wonderful to watch, as provider and full, enthusiastic team member as well as out­and­out goalscorer – with 29 so far.

Rodgers deserves the credit for saving Suarez’s skills, nearly lost to English foot­ ball at the Uruguayan’s lowest point on receiving a ten month ban at this period 12 months ago for biting Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic. Instead now, week after week we have witnessed one of the world’s great strikers at work with his golden goals and assists. Anyone who appreciates good foot­ ball revels in watching such skill and artistry.

What a “Bumper” start for Velocity Racing!

Saturday the 22nd of March saw the eagerly awaited start of the season for stock car racing at the oval circuit in Cartagena.

The first race proved very eventful with last years Rookie Rod Champion Caroline Capel’s race coming to an abrupt end after making an ambitious move into the 1st bend which resulted in her spectacularly crashing through the tyre wall on the 8th lap, but with Jaz Lawrence already away and clear she took the race closely followed by Paul Drewett.

This pattern followed throughout the six races held this evening for the Rookies with Jaz showing some great style in holding off both Paul Drewett and Danny Harper through­

out the evening and deservedly winning all six races. I fear she may suffer at the hands of the handicapper for this very impressive start. Nigel Burchill and Samantha York will cer­ tainly improve and I’m sure there will be much more to come from reigning champion Caroline as the season progresses.

The Lightning Rods also proved very eventful with the first race having to be re­started due to a fairly serious three car pile up directly under the starter’s gantry. This meant that one of the cars was sadly finished for the evening, but with a change of underwear for the starter Paul Blake and some impromptu repairs carried out on the other two cars, they were re­started. With current Lightning Rod Champion Nick Kelly and Brent Savage competing fiercely throughout, slid­ ing side by side around the turns and with some extreme driving skills being shown. Nick Kelly won the first followed home by Brent Savage. This theme followed throughout the night with Nick Kelly carrying on from where he left off last year showing some great early season form and winning all of the races in his category. Although it looks as if he will have some serious competition from Brent Savage who returns this year after recovering from injury and Graham Stannard along with Martin Lawrence may also have some say as the season progresses.

So with a new season up and running and with Jaz

Lawrence and Nick Kelly in dominant form the gauntlet has clearly been thrown down for all the drivers to show if they are up for the challenge.

With a total of 11 races on the night, an exciting evening of racing was enjoyed by a large crowd who went home sat­ isfied and looking forward to the next meeting on Saturday 12th April. For more on how to get involved, hire a car, be a race marshal or just come along to watch check out the web­ site www.velocityracing.eu for further information.

Photographs provided courtesy of Peter E Smith Photography.

Friday, April 4, 2014

48

KOP THAT, YOU BLUES!

As Liverpool swept imperiously to the top of the Premiership on Sunday whilst tearing Tim’s totter­ ing Tottenham apart 4 – 0 at Anfield, here’s a good question in World Cup year. How many Englishman were in that Merseyside team? Two? No. Three, like Spurs? No sir, six actually, old chap: Johnson, Flanagan, Gerrard, Henderson, Sturridge and Sterling ­ see over for a Liverpool review.

Silly Spurs question: why was temperamentally­tested Tim watching from the directors’ box? I don’t buy the ‘bet­ ter view’ theory, there’s trouble at Tottenham, and I can’t see the wood from the trees with Sherwood.

‘Oos blue­bottle went again, then? After Villagate two weeks ago, Chelski suffered another bad day at the office on Saturday, this one a Capital offence locally for miserable Mourinho’s men – some who he darkly muttered about their character, while still bemoaning his lack of a deadly Drogba­type striker. Pulis’s Palace players are no pushovers these days, but have big trouble scoring themselves ­ so kindly old John Terry obliged, putting through his own goal for the only one of the match, albeit one with crucial consequences.

No title now for Chelsea, so sez MM, but Selhurst Park stalwarts can surely sense salvation. ‘Ooda given ‘em a chance when Ian Holloway did a bunk early doors this season, at the time Palace were a laughing stock.

Pulis for Pope, I say.

P.S. for light relief this week there was a bit of the old ball­boy balls­up again, Mou involved this time… Oh, and the mid­week Euro break in Paris didn’t go well either, the Blues losing to PSG 3 – 1. A Bridge too far in the replay next week?

With that result in the early match on Saturday, both Arsenal and Man City knew they could then really ben­ efit IF they won. However, 1 – 1 at The Emirates and a

John McGregor reports

point each was merely the best result for the opposi­ tion. Getting the point didn’t do much for either’s hopes of the title, Liverpool subsequently benefitting most from the draw. Solid Silva scored again to put City ahead, but in another of those great Gunners one­ touch team goals, Flamini swept in the equaliser. That was the first goal City had conceded in six games (good Harty stats for England’s re­instated number one…).

There was short­sighted excitement at Old Trafford as an airliner was briefly spotted towing a ‘Moyes­Out’ banner. Man Utd’s dilemma is plane to see, but down on Terra Firma in Wayne’s world, 75,000 viewed vacil­ lating Villa Rooneyed away 4 – 1, including a meaning­ ful first home goal for Juan Mata. On Tuesday night for eight heavenly minutes, United led mighty Bayern Munich before the European Champions equalised in true spoil­sport Kraut fashion: good United perform­ ance though. Crisis – what crisis?

Patriots, please pose for possible World Cup duty. In a mid­table Saints v Sinner scenario at St Mary's, and similar to those red­blooded red­shirted Liverpudlians, Southampton went one better by sport­ ing seven Englishmen (v. two for cosmopolitan Newcastle, who are half French with a South American/African influence). Old nutter Alan Pardew returned to his earlier pastures on the south coast, albeit straining from the stands, Sherwood­style as he started his four­game touchline ban.

With the popular vote saying 10 goal Lallana should now start for England in Brazil, first­man Adam could/should be supported by some home country team­mates ­ like 15 goal Jay Rodriguez, 11 goal Ricky Lambert, and how about Luke Shaw at left back? And there’s more Englishmen on the Saints conveyor belt.

Lallana’s gem was the pick of a great goal­glut in the 4 – 0 demolition of neurotic Newcastle.

Meandering manfully in the mid­table Midlands, the Potters are doing well under Mark Hughes. By beating Hull, Stoke have climbed to 10th, and it has to be said

my old mate Odemwingie is duly banging ‘em in, three now in successive games. I take it all back, Pete, OK? Substitute Steven Naismith is now a popular name at Goodison Park, his two goals meant Fulham are firmly facing the Dreaded Drop. Also down ‘dere, furiously flailing at The Hawthorns in the Battle at the Baggies, Kamikaze Cardiff came back from two down, then 3 ­2 at full time to Norwegianly equalise with the last kick of the game. But there was sour afters amongst the Pepeed­up West Brom team who would have almost savoured safety with their jefe’s first win. It wasn’t to be, and there could be violence litigation after a nasty domestic punch up. But even with a point, it’s almost certain Cardiff are down with Fulham – so who goes with ‘em?

Well: Monday’s defeat against bully­boy­baited West Ham has not helped Sunderland, but the Black Cats have two more lives in hand so there’s still Light at the Stadium. Norwich are back in trouble again as those Michu­boosted Super Swans made nonsense of their no­wins­in­six form, easing out the East Anglians 3 ­ 0.

Now Norwich have lost their last six away games, and the Canaries are sick as parrots.

This weekend? Saturday sees early doors opening at the Etihad for Man City v Southampton. Busy after­ noon follows with Hull hosting Swansea, and there’s some very crucial do­or­diers. Villa host fated Fulham, and in the first of two twenty­six pointers, Cardiff trav­ el to Crystal Palace, and Norwich take on West Brom.

No wins now in six Newcastle should worry where away­the­lads Man United have no phobias on the road. Choked Chelsea welcome Sparky Stoke to the Bridge hoping to stop the rot, and Super Sunday sees a belter at Goodison Park as exciting Everton test Arsenal’s resolve to stay in contention. New leaders Liverpool travel to West Ham, and finally on Monday, Sunderland travel to White Hart Lane to take on those spluttering Spurs.