The Courier Week 31

Edition 31

www.thecourier.es Friday, September 23, 2011

CHEAP AND FEARFUL!

EXCLUSIVE: Passengers’ abuse of cabin crew is unbelievable, reveals unhappy Ryanair girl

By HAYLEY SIMPSON

RUGBY EXCLUSIVE: Wade Dooley on the Mike Tindall Affair plus World Cup latest - Back, Centre Pages

A DISILLUSIONED cabin-crew member has revealed to The Courier the full horror of working for controversial budget airline Ryanair.

And her biggest concern is not the company's pennypinching and petty rules, but the constant abuse from PASSENGERS. ''Some of their behaviour is unbelievable,'' said the Alicante-based 'trolley dolly'. ''They are so rude and aggressive. We are the face of the company and so they take it out on us. ''It goes on all the time and it's horrible. How can you have pride in your job when passengers treat you like this?’’

Our informant, who we'll call Maria (not her real name), is one of 100 or so people working for Ryanair at Alicante.

And she says: ''I have had enough, I'm ready to quit but jobs are not easy to find here in Spain. ''I wanted to be cabin crew but you don't stop in this job.

It's pressure, pressure, pressure. I just want a normal job.''

Maria revealed that she

It’s not all smiles for Ryanair cabin crew has to put up with austerity conditions in the same way passengers suffer in exchange for cut-price travel.

These include... l Being paid ONLY for the hours she is actually flying. lSupplying her own food and drink l Having to take onemonth's compulsory unpaid leave during the year Maria, one of the many Spanish, Polish, Slovak, Italian and Portuguese employees working for Ryanair, concedes that her £15.25 per hour pay rate is

reasonable. But she insists: ''Ryanair are not a good company to work for. I just want a normal job…and to be able to live a normal life.''

As for company chief O'Leary, she laughs: ''I've never met him…and to be honest I don't think I'd want to. ''But having said that, I think he's really smart. I mean, everyone complains… but then, everyone flies with Ryanair.’’

lCorvera wins Murcia airport battle with San Javier - See Page 5

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Friday, September 23, 2011

It’s the ice-cream man...mine’s a raspberry nipple TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 10037 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 616 332 178 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Harold Heys Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Mick Hardy

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Picture of the week

96 692 1003

SAFE AS HOUSES

BY AMANDA BLACK

AN unemployed woman and her two children were saved from being thrown out of their home on Monday when protesters blocked an eviction ordered by the bank.

Protesters thwart bank eviction

sites. The protestors chanted slogans and waved banners calling for fair payment terms and against the multi-million euro public bailout of banks.

The demonsrators gathWhen legal officials ered at the woman’s home in arrived to issue the eviction Benejúzar after PAH, a notice protestors refused to Torrevieja and Vega Baja let them through. support group for people The woman, Mari Carmen, affected by mortgage debt, stayed indoors fearing she highlighted the woman’s would not be allowed back plight on social networking into the house if she came

out.

After a two-hour protest the officials left. As it became clear the protesters had won, at least for now, Mari Carmen emerged from her home, hugged protestors and cried with relief.

Mari Carmen’s troubles began when she lost her job in 2009, a victim of the economic crisis.

Unable to find work, she

Ten Britons and an Irishman have been arrested by the Guardia Civil on Ibiza, accused of supplying drugs to discos on the island over the summer.

The head of the gang was arrested in Manchester, where a search of his flat revealed £40,000 and five kilos of cocaine.

Information leading to the arrests came from an operation at the end of August against other British traffickers on the Baleares.

That action resulted in 13 arrests - nine Britons, three Irish and a Pole.

The Guardia say the groups only operated in the high summer, and made use of several homes on the island to store drugs for distributed within days.

CORRECTION

fell behind on payments for her €140,000. The bank called in the debt and put the house up for auction for just €70,000.

No buyer came forward and the price was reduced to €20,000, seven times less than Mari Carmen paid five years ago.

With so little of the debt

even being recovered by the bank, protesters felt it was wrong for Mari Carmen and her family to lose their home.

PAH members are now trying to negotiate an agreement with the bank so that the mother and children can stay in their home and pay a social rent.

10 Brits held in drugs swoop

Monday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 24°C

IN an item about Spanish Insurance, Gloria Campbell was wrongly quoted as saying she had a call from Lisa ‘‘to tell me that she had a cheque for me in the office for 3676€ because I hadn't used the full value of the cover.''

The figure should have been 367€. We apologise for the error, which occurred because our scanning software mistook a € for a 6.

Today Partly sunny High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 26°C

Saturday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 28°C RealFeel: 28°C

Sunday Sunny High Temperature: 27°C RealFeel: 26°C

Tuesday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 26°C

Wednesday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 27°C RealFeel: 26°C

Thursday Partly sunny High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 27°C

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Friday, September 23, 2011

It’s Chas and rave time Chas with Trevor and Ann from Viva TV

EVEN if the name Chas Hodges doesn’t register, anyone over 50 would instantly recognise his music from just one word. Even if you may need to repeat ita few times!

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit rabbit…

Chas is, of course, one half of the legendary pop-rock duo Chas & Dave, creators and performers of "rockney", which mixes "pub singalong, music-hall humour, boogie-woogie piano and pre-Beatles rock 'n'

roll".They’ll be rabbiting about Chas from Campoamar to Punta Prima and Quesada when he takes the southern Costa Blanca by storm over the next few days.

For four nights from Sunday, he’s bringing his fantastic three-hour ‘Rock, Rabbit & Roll’ show to town.

The Jukebox Promotions events features a mix of all the classic Chas & Dave hits, new tracks, plus songs and stories of his life before Dave.

The four-night tour kicks off at the

Rendezvous in Campoamar Sunday. The full schedule is…

on

Sunday (Sept 25): The Rendezvous in Campoamor Monday (Sept 26): The Rendezvous in Campoamor Tuesday (Sept 27): Asturias, N332, Punta Prima Wednesday (Sept 28): The Club,

Quesada.

Tickets are €12 and are available from the venues or by calling 695135134. Places are limited, so book early.

JUST THE TON-IC! 100 not out - and Edie is so happy with life in Spain

By AMANDA BLACK WHEN Edith Mingo was born, there was no such thing as a jet engine, TV hadn’t been invented and PCs weren’t even the stuff of science fiction.

Edie has lived through two world wars and the Great Depression. She has seen once-empty roads fill with cars, watched as the first man walked on the moon and marvelled as the telephone became a commonplace home appliance.

And, last week, as Edie celebrated her 100th birthday in her care home in Rojales, it was a chance for family from all over the world to get together and look back over her incredible life – so far.

“It really is amazing to think of all the things she has experienced during her lifetime,” said her daughter Fran.

Edie was born in the City of London, within the sound of Bow Bells, the eldest of seven children. She grew up to marry sweetheart Frank Mingo and they had two children, Frances and Alan.

Spirits Her early married life was tough as she struggled to care for her family in war-torn London. She was bombed out three times, but nothing could dampen her spirits, and it’s this fight and determination that her family credit with keeping her going so long.

“She takes whatever life throws at her and just gets on with it,” says Fran. “She’s a very strong-willed lady and never gives in.”

Edie and Frank spent most of their lives together in London, where Edie worked as a doctor’s receptionist and Frank was an electrical engineer. When Frank retired they moved to Bognor Regis. The pair had a long and happy marriage, celebrating their Golden Wedding anniversary together. Edie lost Frank 14 years ago.

Edie moved to Spain seven years ago to be near Fran,

who lives in Los Alcazares. She also wanted to be close to the beach, which she loves.

She now lives very happily in Residencia Rojales, and Fran is convinced the move to Spain has added a good few years to Edie’s life.

“Old people get so much more care and respect here than in the UK,” said Fran. “The care she has had has been superb.”

In more recent years, Edie’s iron will has seen her battle physical limitations. She’s had two hip replacements and has understandably had to slow down. But she doesn’t worry, takes it all in her stride and according to Fran is mentally as tough as ever.

Edie celebrated her centenary with champagne and cake at her care home, surrounded by her family, including her sister Betty, who came all the way from Canada, and son Alan and his family from Australia.

“It was a lovely day,” said Fran. “Mum had her hair done and wore her pearls. She looked really beautiful, like a queen. You’d never have guessed she was that age.”

And, of course, Edie had her telegram from the real Queen to congratulate her and wish her a very happy birthday, too.

MEET musicians David and Lorraine Clayton from Rojales. They run a Big Band with a big difference - and no, it’s not just that it has 20 members. They’ll certainly be in demand after our article today. Find out why on Page 13

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Friday, September 23, 2011

IF BRITS RULED THE WORLD…

REGULAR readers of my column will (hopefully) remember my anger over the recent riots.

I said the main problem was the years of weak, nambypamby, liberal judges and magistrates giving offenders suspended sentences, probation or community sentences rather than a good stretch in prison.

It gave the oiks the belief they could get away with anything.

I also wrote about the problems with the Eurozone and suggested we needed someone of the ilk of Winston Churchill to sort the mess out and give some dynamic leadership.

Imagine our mirth last week (and a feeling that at least I was doing something right) when, low and behold, politicians were echoing these comments in the news columns and on TV. Just remember folks - you read it first in my column and it's gratifying that the world's politicians are hanging on my every word (if only!)

Anyway, I've tried to sort out the Eurozone and Greek financial crises last weekend and have come up with the only sensible answer.

The rest of Europe has to scrap the euro and adopt sterling as the only sensible currency for the whole of Europe (yes, Europe first, then the world).

Britain? This way we can bring Britain to the rest of the world - what more can we Brits do for the good of humanity than that?

Oh yes, sorry, I've landed back on planet earth again now, and remembered they only want to get into Britain so they can enjoy our benefit system.

Mrs M and I have been holidaying in Gran Canaria for the past fortnight and phew, wasn't it hot! Anyway, we landed at Gatwick into a 1am nightmare. It took 45 minutes to pass through passport control because of the huge backlog of passengers.

When we arrived at the passport booths, only half were

Financial mess That way Britain (come on, start singing Rule Britannia) can fulfil its natural role in the order of things and sort the present global CALL TO ARMS: Police financial mess out. with machine guns...who It's all got to be done sensibly, though - and are they trying to stop? the rest of Europe has to accept that it's the Brits who are the only natural leaders. manned and this was the cause of the back-up. To make my After all, look who won the war(s) sorting out Europe time anger even more acute, four policemen in riot gear were after time. standing guard at the booths - not just with hand guns as in And while we're at it, this time we must not accept any silly Spain, but with machine guns. half measures. The Europeans have to go the whole hog What the hell is this all about - who are they trying to stop converting to three-pin electric plugs, driving on the left, and getting into Britain now? speaking proper English and not their own languages, which During the past decade of Labour rule, with Socialists hellonly they can understand and we have such problems with.

So, European politicians, stop whingeing when our chan- bent on social engineering, Britain was the magnet for all the cellor goes to Europe and tries to bash a few heads togeth- riff-raff and flotsam from the rest of the world - and now we er; accept the inevitable, and stand united under the Union have organised gangs of criminals committing the most unimaginable crimes.

Jack.

All a pipe dream, perhaps, but answer this: why does the So, I can only imagine that the heavily-armed police were rest of the world line up on our borders to try to get into there to protect the passport control staff against tired return-

ing holiday makers subjected to ridiculous checks and getting angrier by the moment.

Hasn't anyone a jot of common sense? If a gang of terrorists wanted to infiltrate this country, all they have to do is to arrive in a boat packed with explosives, weapons and goodness knows what else, and chooses one of the many small harbours anywhere in the country.

Are they really likely to enter Britain through Gatwick? I suspect all this security is more to do with authority trying to convince us they are doing something to make us feel safer in our beds, rather than for any real purpose. And just imagine the cost of it all.

When we finally arrived at the luggage reclaim, we found that our cases had been doing the rounds for the last half hour!

Our anger at Gatwick didn't end there. Our car was in the long-term car park. After following all the signs to the courtesy bus service to our cars, they ran out and, baffled, we then joined the ever growing number of perplexed fellow travellers.

We asked two policemen nearby (thankfully, this time not wielding tommy guns ready to shoot anything that moved) where the bus stop was.

Did they know? Well, sort of - they suggested that last week it was on the upper level.

We told them that the signs pointed to the ground floor and they became as puzzled as us.

Finally we spotted a courtesy bus. We loaded our cases onto it and crammed into the packed vehicle. Thankfully I managed to catch a word with the driver before he set off and he said he wasn't going to our car park. Apparently there are two of them and the second was ‘long stay plus’.

We clambered off again and waited for another bus. This time we were rewarded and we burst out laughing when, time after time, passengers came to the driver to ask whether she was going to the right place.

She told me she had to go through this fiasco every day.

Someone wants to take a long, hard look at Gatwick Airport and start making life a lot easier for passengers.

Perhaps before sorting out the mess, he or she should look at other airports were life seems to be a lot easier.

If it was a nightmare for us, just imagine what it is for a visitor from abroad trying to make sense out of our craziness.

Which takes us full circle really. At first I suggested we could start leading the world. Sorry, we're not ready.

Come back in another 100 years.

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT BRITAIN’S biggest supermarkets believe the Government’s plans to change date codes on food will end up causing more waste and confusing consumers over what is safe to eat.

Despite claiming it had the full backing of the industry, retailers are understood to be privately frustrated at Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman’s scheme to overhaul the current labelling system.

Ms Spelman was accused of reintroducing the largely defunct term ‘sell by’ when announcing the plans, despite the fact it has already been eradicated from the vast majority of stores.

It is feared that stopping the practice of marking items ‘display until’ could

lead to less efficient stock rotation, higher prices and ultimately more food going off.

The new guidance – which is not legally enforceable and took three years to draw up – was dismissed by one retail source as "changing nothing".

Designed to cut down on the annual £12bn worth of food thrown away each year, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs states that in future, food packaging should only carry either a ‘use by’ or ‘best before’ date while ‘sell by’ and ‘display until’ labels used for stock rotation should be removed.

Ms Spelman insisted the system,

which is backed by the Food Standards Agency, would be safer and simpler for the consumer.

“There are products that have several dates on them; ‘use by’, ‘best before’. Sometimes it says ‘display until’, which is not relevant at all by the time it’s sitting in your fridge,” she told BBC Radio 4's Today programme.

“So I can understand when people – particularly young people starting out with shopping – say ‘I’m not sure about this; better throw it away’."

It is estimated that more than 60 per cent of the 8.3m tonnes of UK household food and drink waste annually is disposed of unnecessarily, costing the

Turn to Page 19

Friday, September 23, 2011

AIR BATTLE OVER MURCIA

By SALLY BENGTSSON

THE battle between San Javier and Corvera is over, with Corvera winning the fight to become the home of Murcia’s only commercial passenger airport.

Despite the opening of a new runway in March, San Javier will remain only as a military airport.

The move was announced this week after the Murcian government and Spanish state agreed there could be only one passenger airport in the region.

An agreement in principle has been reached move. They had vowed to with AENA, the Spanish fight to keep San Javier airpublic body that owns and port open to commercial operates the majority of air traffic, as was promised airports in Spain, to man- when the new airport was age the new airport. built.

It is thought most of San AENA invested almost Javier airport’s staff will be 70 million euros in the new transferred to Corvera. runway and other improveHoteliers in San Javier ments at San Javier, so the and Los Alcazares are like- move has surprised many.

However, the Murcian ly to by angered by the

Airport loses out as regional government dclares it will clip San Javier’s wings regional government has invested large sums of money in Corvera, so perhaps the decision should not have been so unexpected.

It is rumoured that the agreement with AENA will include compensation for investment the company made to develop San Javier airport.

TEACHERS’ STRIKE SHUTS SCHOOLS

By SALLY BENGTSSON

SPANISH high-school teachers began a two-day strike throughout the country last Tuesday, disrupting the school days of hundreds of thousands of youngsters.

The action came as opposition to sweeping austerity measures hardens ahead of general elections in November.

A few dozen teachers concentrated outside the Council buildings in Murcia City on Tuesday afternoon, waving banners and chanting. The main gripe is the cuts, which will mean teachers having to work longer hours for the same pay.

Pedro Manuel Vicente, a Murcian teacher, said: “What we want to do is bring to public attention the fact that an investment in education is an investment into the future.”

This is all very well, but if the coffers are empty, they are empty. Spaniards seem to find it very hard in general to accept that spending cuts must be made because the money just isn’t there. The protesters were dressed in green tops with the slogan, “State education for everyone” The protests were echoed in Madrid - and in Galicia, in northwest Spain, teachers have called a strike for later this month.

Most of the country's 17 regions are now in the hands of the conservative Popular Party. The PP, in opposition at the national level, is widely tipped by opinion polls to win the November 20 elections and oust the incumbent Socialists. If he becomes prime minister, Popular Party leader Mariano Rajoy has pledged to follow the example of austerity set by the regions.

Around 200 striking teachers gathered outside a high school in the centre of Madrid to protest at the Madrid government's plan to raise the number of hours teachers must

spend in the classroom, so that some jobs can be eliminated.

Protesters blew whistles and banged on pots as they waited for Madrid regional President Esperanza Aguirre to pay a scheduled visit to the school. When her motorcade pulled up, they shouted: "Resign! Leave!"

David Martín, a maths teacher, said austerity measures have started to undermine Spain's social services, "especially in regions governed by the PP conservatives."

He added, "That's why we're protesting, so that people realise what's happening" ahead of the general elections.

The Madrid government has said it has no choice but to make the cuts, given the deep economic crisis.

Earlier in the day, sleepy teenagers gathered on the steps of another high school in a working-class neighbourhood to the south, waiting for the doors to open. Apprehensive parents accompanied some younger kids.

Complaints Just a couple of teachers showed up - to pick up some belongings and leave, they said. Students would be gathered in a couple of large rooms to spend the day with the school's directors and janitors, they added.

After dropping off her 12-year-old daughter, Rosa María Lamas said she sympathised with the teachers' complaints. "If we let them make these cuts, what will they do next year? Just close down the schools?" she asked.

In a survey earlier this month by opinion survey firm Metroscopia, 60% of respondents thought regional budget cuts would have a "large" impact on the quality of education.

Metroscopia managing director José Pablo Ferrándiz, however, said he believes there is still some tolerance for austerity in Spanish society, which by and large recognises the severity of the economic crisis.

Unions' authority has been undermined by a relatively passive stance towards the crisis so far, he said, which could make it difficult for them to mobilise widespread support.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

A PLAGUE of snails from China is threatening to destroy the fragile ecosystem of one of Spain’s most important rivers.

SNAIL PLAGUE HAS CATALANS IN A PADDY

Ecologists have tried a multitude of remedies, all to no effect.

Not even drying out half of the Ebro River Delta in Tarragona province, or dumping quicklime into irrigation channels has managed to remove their 12 cm long shells from the rice paddies.

The apple snail has continued to give farmers headaches for a third successive year since it first appeared in northern Spain, and now the plague threatens to reach the south.

The apple snail is a highly resistant species that reproduces very quickly, and has been spreading slowly throughout the area since 2009.

And this, despite the 3.5 million euros the Catalan regional government has spent in the last year on trying to eradicate the species, by taking unprecedented measures.

"No country has managed to eradicate this plague," says Ravindra Joshi, an Indian biologist studyBy SALLY BENGTSSON ing the apple snail and its effects on crops.

"After the species is detected, it takes the millions of lilac-coloured eggs that are about four years before crop damage inundating the canals and the sides of the occurs.’’ Next year the delta will start to feel delta. the full effects, he predicts, warning omi"An apple snail can lay anywhere nously: "By then, it's usually a catastro- between 400 and 500 eggs every 10 days. phe.’’

In eight months, these offspring are fertile: "I just don't know what we're going to do if you do the maths, it just about makes you about this critter," says Hernán Subirats, sick," says Subirats. the expert the Catalan government put in There is no industrial way of eradicating charge of the plan to eradicate the species. them: all you can do is dive in and destroy "At least it looks like there aren't any them by hand. more of them than there were last year. If "We've tried using an oil that suffocates we hadn't done anything, there wouldn't be them. But the clutches of eggs are covered a single rice plant left.’’ in a jelly-like substance, and they make Nevertheless, hundreds of thousands of holes in the oil and breathe right through snails have survived all attempts to get rid them," says Subirats. of them. This season, the experts have Two snails can eat through 400 rice roots applied a chemical with saponin: a toxic in a single night, the equivalent of an entire substance with effects similar to soap plot. which helicopters and tractors dump onto "It's no small feat: so far, the rest of the the fields. This treatment has only been 60 country and the continent have been percent effective. saved. But they can't be eradicated in the But it has been totally ineffective against delta any more," says Josh.

Juan José Cortés with Prime Minister Zapatero

MURDERED GIRL’S FATHER IN FAMILY SHOOTOUT DRAMA

JUAN JOSÉ CORTÉS, father of a five-year-old girl whose 2008 abduction and murder in a Huelva neighbourhood shocked the nation, was arrested last week following a shootout between the Cortés family and that of his wife, Irene García.

The early-morning incident took place for reasons as yet unknown to investigators. Those involved used shotguns and one person was taken to the hospital with a head wound before being subsequently discharged.

Four other members of Cortés' family - his father, his brothers Diego and Francisco, and a brother-in-law were also arrested.

The case of Mari Luz Cortes stunned the country due to the barbarity of the crime and the judicial errors that preceded it.

Santiago del Valle, a convicted paedophile who had been sentenced to almost three years' imprisonment in 2005 for sexually abusing his five-year-old daughter, and who had also received a two-year sentence for abusing a nine-year-old girl in 2002, turned out to have

avoided prison due to judicial bungling. The Seville judge who failed to execute the jail sentence against Del Valle was fined €1,500 by the General Council of the Judiciary. A court secretary was also suspended for negligence. Both later left the legal profession.

On January 13, 2008 Del Valle lured Mari Luz to his home in El Torrejón and knocked her unconscious when she resisted his advances. Mari Luz's body was discovered 54 days later in an estuary outside Huelva.

In March, Del Valle was sentenced to 22 years on charges of murder and sexual abuse.

After the disappearance of Mari Luz in 2008, Juan José Cortés launched a national campaign to force through changes to the Penal Code to allow for tougher sentences against pedophiles.

In May of that year, two months after Mari Luz's body was found, he met with José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero at La Moncloa, where he received a promise from the prime minister that reform would be pursued; a promise, Cortés said later, "that he never honoured."

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Friday, September 23, 2011

MAY-DAY MADNESS

Bazaar case of the yap-happy cashier I HAVE a hunch her name could be May - or May Kem Wayt to give her full Oriental moniker.

Because the lone cashier at the enormous Chinese Bazaar in Quesada clearly was NOT going to detach her mobile phone from her ear long enough to answer a customer’s query.

I had entered the vast store to buy, of all things, a backscratcher. In fact, I had been itching to get one for weeks. But in a store as big as a Jumbo Jet aircraft hangar, there was little chance of finding anything without some guidance from a staff member. And they seemed to be non-existent.

I could, of course, have asked May, who looked about 11 yet was probably mallied with thlee kids. But she was too busy preening herself and nattering on her Nokia.

For all I know, she was talking to a kilo of Mandarins. And she wasn’t going to be shifted.

Frustrated Put the customer first? Not in May’s manifesto – she had LOADS to talk about. Like how she regularly inflicts Chinese torture on frustrated European customers by keeping them waiting (for those who didn’t suss it out at the start, May Kem Wayt = Make ‘Em Wait) There were no other staff members in sight so, realising I had no chance of unplugging May’s right ear from her mobile, I left her to provide a one-handed, no communication service to the couple of customers at the till.

And I began to shuffle my way up and down the aisles in search of that elusive back-scratcher. I never did find one – and 15 minutes later I was back at the till armed with a couple of small items I was buying.

Surprise surprise, May was still on the phone.

The woman in front of me was paying for a large carton of washing powder. ‘The Darling Suds of May’, I thought, laughing to myself.

(And to think I used to be sane).

The phone never left May’s ear as she demonstrated her dexterity by ringing up the price and bagging the powder without stopping for paying the bit of your fare breath in her animated conthe airline moves elsewhere versation with whoever was to give the impression they at the other end. are charging you less than Feeling they actually are.

My purchases occupied All you have to do is apply for a Prepaid Mastercard – her for fully 30 seconds which seems to be Michael longer and off I went with a O’Leary’s way of getting distinct feeling that I would round the rule that there NOT be returning to celeMUST be a means of pay- brate a second May Day. Sadly, May the Mobile is ment without extra charge.

I started to look up the far from an isolated case of whys and wherefores of applying appalling customer relations for one of these cards…but quickly in a country where even el jefe doesn’t seem to care if lost the will to live. he loses a sale.

It’s much easier to go with an airI’ve lost count of the numline that don’t charge for using a ber of times I’ve been made debit card. Which should be all of to wait unnecessarily while them. someone finishes a trivial private phone conversation.

And it’s not just ignorant, uncaring sales staff who keep you waiting.

My local vet is a pedigree very easily bring a potentially good mobile-phone chatter - and business down in the dishwater. the only time I actually went Which bring me on to another mys- in to my local Cam Bank, I tery about drinking habits in these had to listen to the male clerk parts. yapping to a friend on his Why do the Spanish serve hot cof- mobile for fully 15 minutes fee ‘en vaso’? before he decided to put his Don’t they realise that with a han- work hat on. dle, you can actually drink the stuff Service is one area where before it goes cold? the UK wins hands down...

THE LIFE OF RYAN Where did the horse poo trot?

SEPTEMBER is fiesta time in our local campo – and the celebrations go on for the whole month.

It’s all great fun, despite the language problems that sometimes cause misunderstandings between the native and expat communities.

As part of Sunday’s action, we were treated to the spectacle of high-stepping horses pulling immaculately-maintained carriages full of little people and their families around the roads of El Raso.

That part of the action was lovely to watch…but horse power does, of course, produce a residue. And while a few dozen kilos of free manure would be a blessing for an English allotment owner, the mass of horse poo that littered the urbanisation after the event was not attractive.

Amazingly, by Monday it had all gone. Which rather ruined what I planned to write.

I was going to ask why, if dog owners have to clean up their mess, are horse riders exempt?

Particularly when their nags produce 20 times as much?

Seems some of them don’t need asking. Thanks, guys.

FOR all the jokes, the Irish people are NOT idiots in real life.

But I can confirm that Mick and Paddy are alive and well and living in the Ryanair Administration Office.

You can be excused for thinking the cheapskate airline’s latest press release is a joke. It reveals the ‘secrets’ of avoiding ‘optional fees’ (i.e the part of your fare they don’t admit is part of the fare). And among these are some remarkable revelations.

Believe it or not, you can avoid paying both the Priority Boarding Fee and Reserved Seating Fee – each of which costs £6 - ‘’by not selecting this service’’.

And as for the £15-each-way Checked Bag Fee, you can get round that ‘’by travelling with no checked baggage.’’

Really? Now why didn’t I think of that? And there’s a bonus - cus-

(He’s not the messiah, he’s a very silly airline)

tomers can access these meaningless statements of the obvious without charge because the information is part of Ryanair’s new FREE online guide ‘’How Do I Avoid Paying Optional Fees’.’’

Marginally more useful is the revelation that you can get out of

Not my cup of tea...

I LOVE a good, old-fashioned cuppa as much as the next Brit. But there’s less chance of getting a decent brew in a Spanish bar than of being served an authentic paella in Roy Cropper’s place on Corry.

So why, when they have such a good point of reference, do some expat bars fob us off with cheap teabags and a drink resembling coloured

dishwater?

How much does a Tetleys or PG Tips teabag cost, for Heaven’s sake?

If saving a cent or two is so important, here are a couple of facts for the penny pinchers.

FACT 1: Two decent tea bags will actually make THREE good, strong cups of tea.

FACT 2: One cheap tea bag could

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

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Friday, September 23, 2011

THE MYSTERY OF HAROLD FLINT

MY paternal grandmother was an expat from Lithuania. I loved her to bits because I was the only one of her 10 grandchildren to whom she gave a pet name.

How flattering that Grandma would choose me from all the other little ones as someone special.

That particular rosy glow lasted for many years. But then, recently, while fiddling with my laptop (is that legal?), I stumbled on something awful.

I discovered that Grandma's pet name for me translated from the Russian as ‘The Strange One’.

'That's it!' I shouted, slamming shut the computer. 'I'm having nothing more to do with that woman.'

'But your grandmother passed away 40 years ago,' my wife Mrs S pointed out. 'So your threat is academic.'

'Academic?' I said. 'Nah. Grandma wasn't an academic.

'She was a working woman, a labouring lady who had to flee her homeland and make a new life in an alien country.

'Anyway,' I sniffed, 'I don't want to talk about her. She thought I was strange.'

'Maybe that's the point,' mused Mrs S. 'Your grandma must have found Britain a strange place when she arrived here.

'She also called YOU strange which to my mind means you reminded her of herself as a young migrant -- strong, resolute and capable of facing up to life's challenges.

'To summarise my point, your grandma I believe thought very highly of you.'

'Wow!' I said. 'Do you really think so?'

'Not really,' Mrs S shrugged. 'But it's one hell of a comforting thought.'

Time to rewind life's tape . . .

I'm five-years-old and I'm sitting on Grandma's lap.

'Tell me about Lithyoo . . . Lithyew . . . er, tell me about Russia, Grandma.'

'It voz hard,' she said in her heavily-accented English. 'Ve had nuffink coz of dat Czar feller.

'I remember your Grandpa voz vonce nearly caught by der Cossacks.'

'Ouch!' I interjected. 'That must have been painful.'

'Ve needed somebody like Harold Flint to fight doze nasty

peoples,' Grandma went on.

I sighed in sympathy at the thought of my grandmother's plight.

But Harold Flint? Who the hell was Harold Flint?

'You and Grandpa must have really got the hump with those Russians,' I said.

Grandma looked at me quizzically.

'Hump? Vot hump? Ve never had humps. Get off my lap now you crazy kid and go bring me my beer jug.'

The years went by. I became too big to sit on Grandma's

lap. Or she became too small.

But I would continue to visit her every week and when I acquired my first car I would run us into town and we'd go to the pictures.

Grandma, never destined to be au fait with English, loved to have me explain what was going on during the film.

So I would whisper the plot developments into her ear as she sucked noisily on her chocolate caramels.

Grandma had little bite because she was always misplacing her false teeth.

She lost her last set of dentures in 1962 but as this was around the time of the Cuban missile crisis, her misfortune paled into insignificance.

'Hey!' she hissed during one cinema outing.

'I’ve been sat in dis seat for nearly an hour votching dis film and I ain't seen her yet.'

'Seen who, Grandma?' I whispered.

'Snow Vite,' she said.

What the hell is she talking about? I wondered.

Grandma, I decided, was having another of her Harold Flint Moments.

'Snow White?' I echoed.

And then realisation dawned.

'No, Grandma, you've got it wrong,' I laughed. 'Snow White isn't in The Magnificent Seven.'

My grandmother wasn't happy. Indeed, she spent the rest of the movie decidedly grumpy.

Then she must have felt dozy for her eyes closed and she drifted off.

Grandma went to sleep for the final time a few years later. Dad put his arm around me as we left the cemetery after the funeral.

'I'll miss her, Dad,' I said.

'I know, son,' he said.

'She had a pet name for me, you know,' I said.

'Er . . . I think we'll gloss over that one,' mumbled Dad. We continued to walk slowly back to the car.

'Can I share a memory with you?' said Dad. 'When she was younger, your grandma loved to watch the old action films -- Captain Blood, The Adventures of Robin Hood, The Charge of the Light Brigade.

'She had a crush on Errol Flynn but could never get his name right.'

Aha! I thought. At last the Riddle of Harold Flint is solved.

HIGH LIFE IN JACARILLA

RESIDENTS of Jacarilla nearly had a high old time on Sunday when a house with an illegal cannabis plantation went up in flames.

Fire fighters discovered 500 marijuana plants after putting out a fire in a two-storey building.

It is thought the blaze was started by a fault in the irrigation and lighting system set up to nurture the plants.

Guardia officers are now looking for the building’s owner. l POLICE were called to a bar in Rojales in the early hours of Saturday morning after a man was

seen beating a small boy. Horrifed customers in El Paseo and local residents claim they saw the man hit the three-year-old boy and throw him repeatedly to the ground.

The police were called and the man, who is thought to have been drunk, was arrested.

Police found the child’s mother and accompanied her and the boy to a medical centre. lA British man was killed in a drunken brawl early on Monday after he claimed he was "ripped off" by the cost of drinks at a lap-

dancing club on the French Riviera, local police have said. Lee Elton Fisher, 37, is understood to have become enraged by the prices at the Cannes night-spot before storming out to confront a man handing out promotional fliers.

A row broke out and Mr Fisher was later punched in the face and collapsed, dead, on the road. He had been due to return home later that day. Three French men aged between 25 and 30 are being questioned on suspicion of a crime akin to manslaughter.

Friday, September 23, 2011

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Help leaves home for a birthday celebration HELP at Home (HAH) is celebrating its first year of helping people in need in the Mar Menor area.

Demand for the service has exceeded everyone’s expectations over the past 12 months, and HAH’s team of dedicated volunteers have helped more than 100 clients.

For many, the organisation

has proved a lifeline.

HAH founder Lesley Eburne praised her team, led by nurse practitioner, Lynda.

“Over the past three months, our volunteers have been working between 200 and 400 hours per month,” she said. “All this help is offered free to the clients. Our fundraisers have worked incredibly hard to

ensure that sufficient funds are available to pay for our nurse, the volunteers’ expenses and running costs.”

The charity’s clients have ranged in age from six to 96, but all have one thing in common; they are very grateful for the help HAH has given them.

One of the older customers, 90-year-old Louise, summed it

up when she thanked the charity and said how much she appreciated her ‘angels’.

No birthday would be complete without a party, so to mark their first year HAH volunteers and supporters are celebrating with a slap-up buffet at Novo Carthago Restaurant in Estrella de Mar, Los Urrutias next Wednesday.

Mr Entertainment, Tony Lincoln, will be on hand to make the party go with a swing. If you want to help the helpers celebrate, tickets for the party are five euros. Call Lesley on 968 134 978 for details.

HAH is always in need of more volunteers. Contact Lesley or email helpathomespain @gmail.com

Abbi bends over backwards to become a dancing queen

By AMANDA BLACK DANCE dazzler Abbigail Dorrill has been given a place at the prestigious Italia Conti Theatre School in London.

Abbi’s incredible talent won her offers from three top London performing arts schools at recent auditions.

But the talented 18-year-old from San Miguel has chosen to take a course in musical theatre at Italia Conti.

Abbi, daughter of Erica and John Dorrill, was little more than a toddler when she donned her first pair of ballet pumps at the age of four to attend Footworks Dance Academy.

The family had a dance school with the same name back in England before moving to Spain from Belper in Derbyshire eight years ago.

And right from the start it was obvious that Abbi had something special.

And she didn’t have to wait long to get her first taste of the bright lights, appearing in a West End show when she was only five.

Numerous Back at the Footworks school, Abbi won numerous medals and trophies and was awarded the school’s ballet scholarship three times in a row.

Abbi has toured with the National Youth Ballet and performed with the English Youth Ballet and European Ballet.

She has also notched up a couple more performances on the West End stage and landed herself a job as support artist in Peter Andre’s Spanish tour.

Locally, Abbi has performed as a backing dancer for tribute acts and has her own contortionist and dance act, Destiny, with her sister Rhiane, 19.

Abbi is looking for a sponsor to help her through her course at Italia Conti. If anyone can help, call Carole on 662 137 329.

Year of the T U O T H IG N IG SWINGERS’ B Butterfly s of Miss Patti Ross. nd incredible vocal Ba Big t tha d an moved onto rumLOVERS of swing By the time the band Gil Monk’s as at of la vida loca, tre l ch rea tou a a d d sound ha the bas, samba an to k too nd left sitting in ba was barely a person Swingtet-Plus big Night at the there e nc Da nd Ba Big stage for the room. os, Los Alcazares. nded off by Patti Hotel Spa Costa Narej The evening was rou up ne ryo eve t go of the night’s nd ds ba cee ce pro pie The 10of presenting the s on ati ret erp nor Cancer int Me r its to Help Murcia Ma and dancing with ller, Duke raffle w on sale Mi no nn are s Gle ket by Tic p. numbers d Support Grou an h Ric y Oct 20. dd Bu on , ht sie Nig next Big Band Ellington, Count Ba ng by the for the alo d lpe he all – es The Beatl

ELO guitarist’s Torry treat HERE'S a blast from the past - remember the Electric Light Orchestra, and hit songs like Mr Blue Sky, All Over the World and Don't Walk Away?

Dave Morgan, now known as Dave ScottMorgan, was the guitarist for the ELO, and he's offering you the chance to see him in concert free (yes, free) in Torrevieja next month.

He has agreed to appear, with supporting artists,in a concert organised by the Englishspeaking International Chrisitian Assembly church, at the Teatro Auditorio Municipal on Friday, October 14, at 7.30pm. All are welcome.

There will be a retiring collection to help with church funds, and for more information you can view on line at www.icetorrevieja.org or call 966 799 273.

Dave's musical past hails from the ‘Brum-beat’ groups of the '60s and '70s including Magnum with whom he played bass. His songs brought him wider notice when recorded by groups such as The Move, Wishful Thinking and others. The

Dave Scott-Morgan: Inspirational songs

song Hiroshima has twice been a hit in Europe.

From 1981 to 1986, Dave was part of the Electric Light Orchestra (guitar, synth, vocoder and back-up ). He was also a studio musician on ELO's album Secret Messages and also worked on Jeff Lynne's Armchair Theatre solo album, released in 1990.

Life changed completely for Dave in June 1988

when he became a born-again Christian as a result of taking his mother to church in Selly Oak, Birmingham. Soon afterwards, he began composing inspirational songs. The Call Compact Disc, released in September 1997, represents a 16-track compilation of Dave's 'God' songs. It includes God’s Good Time, produced by Jeff Lynne.

In 1999, the album Long Way Home was released and in 2001, Angel Light.

In April 1997, Dave married Mandy Scott and became David Scott-Morgan. Mandy has a background in church and schools' drama work, and once worked as a missionary in the Philippines.

In 1998 Dave and Mandy began a singing ministry at churches and concerts, telling their story using Dave's original songs (plus rock'n'roll and the occasional ELO hit). Since then they have appeared at many venues around Great Britain, one-offs in Canada and the USA, and guested on radio and TV.

EMMA’S Hair + Beauty celebrated their first year of business at El Limonar with a Charity Day – and raised €262 for the Butterfly Children.

The day included sponsored chest waxing, various stalls and raffles, with a Pamper Package as first prize. In all, the prizes embraced 20 different treatments provided by the staff of Emma’s Hair + Beauty.

Refreshments and cakes were provided by friends and clients. The day was greatly supported by Emma’s clients, who hail from Norway, Sweden, Germany, Spain and England.

Pirates fly the petanca flag WITH the new season fast approaching, the Pirates Petanca Club have several competitions lined up at Rocajuna, Punta Prima.

There are still vacancies in these competitions: Oct 9 Ladies Doubles. Oct 30 Men's Triples. Feb 5 - Mixed Doubles. Feb 26 - Mixed Triples. All 9.30am for 10.00 start.

Call Nancy on 966199288 to enter.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

By AMANDA BLACK TWENTY people, three different nationalities and a passion for music – these are the ingredients that make up the LA Concert Band.

But the most amazing thing about this band of exprofessional, semi-professional and gifted amateur musicians is that they all perform for free, pretty much wherever and whenever people want.

“We do it for love,” says co-founder Lorraine Clayton, who started the band with her husband David after moving to Spain seven years ago.

Family Both were professional musicians back in the UK. David spent 24 years in the Royal Hussars, playing clarinet and alto sax. Lorraine was musical director of the Newton Abbot Orchestra in Devon and plays alto and baritone sax.

The LA Concert Band (LA is from Lorraine’s name – Lorraine Ann) has become more than just a group of musicians and its members now see themselves as more like a family; one that stretches across nationalities and generations.

There are English, Spanish and German musicians in the band, whose oldest member is 83 and youngest 21.

The band is based in Rojales and practises regularly in the cultural centre in the town.

But what they really love is playing music for audiences

Music really is the food of love to the Big Band whose wages are a drink and a bite to eat...

THE TOP 20

to enjoy.

“It is so satisfying knowing people have enjoyed a concert,” says Lorraine.

The band plays all kinds of music, including classical, Glenn Miller, Queen, Duke Ellington, plus pop songs and show tunes.

Many of the pieces they perform are their own arrangements or original compositions by band members.

The LA Concert Band is available for concerts, for charities, at functions, garden parties, weddings, or just about any other occasion.

Family They have played at The Virgin del Carmen, Castillo de Conesa and shared a Concert with the Banda la lira, and Lirica Nostra.

Incredibly, all that band members ask for is some water before the concert and something to eat afterwards.

Other than that, they play purely for love.

The band still has room for more clarinetists. If you are interested in joining, go along to one of their Monday morning rehearsals in Rojales, between 10.30 and 12.30, or visit www.laconcertband.es for more details.

FUND-RAISING THE CRAFTY WAY iF you’re feeling crafty, head along to the Benijofar Craft Fair on September 30.

With more than 40 art and craft stalls, as well as a bouncy castle and entertainment for all the family, it promises to be a great day out.

Organised by Paul and Martyn from Catorce

restaurant, the fair is being held in Plaza Inmaculada de la Concepción, which is behind the town hall and just in front of Catorce.

Stalls will be open from 10am to 4pm and the fair will raise money for Paul Cunningham Nurses, a favourite charity of Paul and Martyn’s.

Catorce hosts regular art and dance classes, so while you are there check out their events timetable.

A FASHION Show in aid of La Siesta Anglican Church will be presented by Algorfabased Moda La Finca Outlet & Boutique on Friday October 14. The

l

event, which starts at 7.30pm, will be staged at the El Rustika Restaurant ( formerly Los Arcos) in Avenida Baleares, Torrevieja.

Tickets are €5 and can be obtained from Pauline Woodend on 965725742, Moda la Finca 966729544 or at the door on the night.

Fancy a go on the euphonium?

Kings College Year 7 music class

FANCY learning to play a musical instrument? An unusual one, maybe – like a tuba or a euphonium?

Well, Kings College Murcia is offering the chance to learn to play a wide section of instruments starting this academic year.

The new service is also open to pupils of other schools - and to adults. And it encompasses no fewer than TEN different instruments – plus the art of singing – in a syllabus that includes Violin, Viola, Guitar, Piano, Flute, Saxophone, Recorder, Tuba, Trombone and Euphonium lessons.

Meanwhile, English-speaking instrument teachers are being sought, with current vacancies available in the guitar and drum departments.

The school, which has a purpose-made music room, a dance studio and a practice room suite dedicated to music, has recently

bought three new pianos and plans to host ABRSM examination sessions in the future.

New school choirs for pupils aged five and upwards will be performing in Murcia and Cartagena during the Christmas period. The choirs are looking for more opportunities to perform and would welcome any offers. Last year’s school show, The Wizard of Oz, proving successful and popular with pupils and parents.

The school’s keen new music teacher, Sherie Fellows, has been teaching music and singing for over 15 years. Her achievements include runner-up in Yorkshire Choir of the Year and participation in BBC Choir of the Year.

If you are interested in learning an instrument, teaching or can offer the choir a performing opportunity, please contact the school on (+34) 968 032 500 or (+34) 902 509 099 or email us on info@kcmurcia.es

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Friday, September 23, 2011

BULLFIGHTING TO END IN CATALONIA - FOR NOW

BULLFIGHTING fans will shout "Ole" for the last time in Barcelona's Monumental bullring on Sunday before a ban on the sport takes effect across Catalonia.

The regional legislature banned the centuries-old tradition - which pits a sword-wielding matador in a skin-tight shiny suit and red cape against an enraged bull - last year after Catalans signed a petition against it.

The bullfighting industry is still convinced it has a chance to overturn the ban and bring back the ‘toros’ next season to Catalonia, the only mainland region in Spain that has blocked the sport (or the art as its fans see it).

"I think the politicians will think twice about the ban and bullfighting will live on. And thank God because Catalonia has plenty of serious bullfighting fans and in a democratic country they should be able to go to a bullfight," said Moises Fraile, 64, owner of El Pilar, the breeder supplying bulls for Sunday's spectacle.

Some 20,000 spectators are expected to fill a sold-out Monumental -- the only bullring still operating in Catalonia - for Sunday's blockbuster corrida starring celebrated Madrid ‘torero’ Jose Tomas.

Tomas retired in 2002, but came back in 2007 at a bullfight in Monumental, his favourite ring. Since then he has made sporadic appearances and is the only bullfighter who can still sell out Monumental.

"There are several catalysts which could lead to the ban being overturned," said Paco March, bullfighting critic for La Vanguardia, Catalonia's top newspaper.

March said the conservative People's Party - one of Spain's two main political forces - is fighting the ban on constitutional grounds and the Catalonia Bullfighting Federation is collecting signatures to petition the Spanish Congress.

Spain's economic woes could also be a factor as regional governments such as Catalonia are under enormous pressure to cut spending and help the country trim its public deficit as it tries to dodge the euro zone debt crisis.

Such austerity measures could make it difficult for the Catalonian government to pay Monumental’s owner, Pedro Balana, several million euros for the building.

Even if the pro-bull lobby manages to reopen Monumental, in a wider sense the blood is already on the sand.

Every year fewer Spaniards go to the bullring. The number of bullfights shrank by 34 percent between 2007 and 2010 according to official figures. Barcelona's Las Arenas ring

shut in the 1970s and is now a shopping mall.

"I don't know anyone my age who would go to a fight. It's not a Catalan tradition but an Andalusian or Extramadurian one. The fact that the bull is treated so badly even before the fight should override any tradition anyway," said Laia Gomez, 31, a Barcelona customer service worker.

Younger Spaniards do not know the names of top-drawer bullfighters and most struggle to explain to a foreigner the intricacies and rules of the tradition.

Spain's general elections on November 20 could also play a role in the region’s bullfighting fate.

Opinion polls show the People's Party or PP will win the election - ending eight years of Socialist government - and PP leaders could pressure Catalan politicians to reinstate bullfighting in exchange for financial support from the central government.

Catalonia is known for its constant wrangling with Madrid over greater autonomy and the right to maintain its separate culture, such as the Catalan language.

Catalonia's bullfighting ban symbolises its drive to differentiate itself from Madrid and its traditions.

The only other Spanish region to end bullfights was the Canary Islands, in 1991.

Many Catalans who feel that Madrid is imposing its culture on the region by means of language see bullfighting in a similar vein. However bullfighting has a Catalan tradition, the "correbous," in which the bull is subjected to stress but not killed.

Across Spain, anti-bullfighting protests are commonplace.

Those against the ‘corridas’ argue that the tradition has no place in modern-day society, where cruelty to animals is unacceptable.

Lights Out! Albacete fails to pay bill

Iberdrola had warned in advance of the power cuts The city of Albacete got a shock last Wednesday night when its electricity supply was cut off in response to unpaid bills.

Albacete, a city of 175,000 people in central Spain, has racked up unpaid bills of more than €1m with electricity giant Iberdrola.

Among the buildings plunged into darkness were a library, a sporting centre and a swimming pool.

"A lot people were swimming when they cut the power," said the city's chief of staff Irene Soriano.

"These are the first cuts we have had but we fear more."

Iberdrola had warned in advance of the cuts in nonessential government services, she said, adding:. "They

were the ones who decided which services were not essential.’’

Albacete's mayor Carmen Bayod, of the conservative Popular Party, managed to persuade Iberdrola at the last minute to leave on the power at a nursery school.

Iberdrola spokeswoman, Elena Gonzalez confirmed the power cut but declined further comment.

Albacete has debts of more than €15m with other suppliers and is in debt repayment discussions with various banks, Ms Soriano said.

Many Spanish cities and regions, hit by the global financial crisis and the 2008 property bubble collapse, are in financial trouble and running far behind on bill payments.

Friday, September 23, 2011

15

SPAIN STRIKES GOLD OVER WRECK COINS ODYSSEY Marine Exploration must give Spain back the 594,000 silver and gold coins it took in 2007 from a 19th century Spanish shipwreck.

This is because the property is protected, among other things, by a 1907 US treaty Washington signed with Madrid, a US appeals court said last week.

In a 60-page ruling, the 11th US Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a lower federal court's decision in December 2009 that granted the treasure to the Spanish government.

Odyssey has said that it will take the fight to the US Supreme Court to keep the Spanish coins it salvaged from the Nuestra Señora de las Mercedes if the federal appeals court in Atlanta ruled against it.

But legal analysts say there is no clear guarantee that the justices would hear Odyssey's appeal because the Supreme Court only selects a very small percentage of the hundreds of petitions it receives on an annual basis.

The coins have been in the possession of the US Marshal Service during the legal battle.

"It's a terrific and much deserved victory for Spain. The Court has clearly and strongly affirmed everything we set out to prove," said James Goold, Spain's lawyer who led the legal battle.

In the decision, the federal appeals court states that "releasing the [treasure] to Odyssey rather than Spain would be inconsistent with Spain's rights under the 1902 Treaty of Friendship and General relations between the United States of America and Spain."

The Peruvian government also joined the legal battle for the coins because it claimed that they were minted there when Peru was a Spanish colony.

"Because the cargo aboard the Mercedes is treated as part of the shipwreck of the Mercedes for sovereign immunity purposes, the Mercedes' immunity precludes Peru's attempt to institute an action in United States courts against any part of the Mercedes or any cargo it was carrying when it sank," last week’s ruling stated.

Twenty-five relatives of the passengers on board the ship when it sank also filed a counter claim, which the US Court of Appeals has rejected.

BBC man’s killing ‘mistaken identity’ A BBC journalist shot dead in Afghanistan was killed in a "case of mistaken identity" when a US soldier took him for a suicide bomber, a report has found.

Ahmed Omed Khpulwak, 25 (pictured), who worked as a stringer in Urozgan province in the south of the country, died when insurgents stormed the local radio and television offices.

While American forces believed the

bearded reporter had opened fire at them, the report found Khpulwak had been unarmed.

But it said the US service member, who has not been identified, acted "reasonably under the circumstances" when he shot the freelance reporter.

At least 19 people died in the hourlong ambush on July 28, which began when three suicide bombers blew up vehicles packed with explosives at the gates of a government compound.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

A LOOK AT THE

WHERE’S MY MUM?

POLICE trying to trace a mother who abandoned her baby boy in hospital just hours after giving birth released CCTV footage of her in a bid to find her.

In a case dubbed "heartbreaking" by officers, the mother was last seen walking towards the car park at Newham General Hospital in east London on Wednesday last week.

She had given her name as Katalena Sctarra and said she was 25 and from Birmingham.

'Miss Sctarra' went into labour outside a shop in East Ham on Wednesday evening, prompting a passer-by to call an ambulance. She was taken to hospital and gave birth just minutes after arriving

CCTV bid to trace mother who abandoned new-born baby

Daily Mirror

to a 5lb 1oz boy, who has since been called Charlie by nurses.

But just before midnight she went outside the hospital to have a cigarette and then disappeared. This week police trying to trace her released CCTV images of her leaving the hospital.

In the pictures, she can be seen walking along the hospital corridor from the delivery suite to the exit where she made off.

The woman is described as Eastern European, possibly Romanian, of slim build with blue or green eyes, POLICE are hunting a number of gunmen who shoulder-length blonde hair, opened fire on a car containing three children and approximately 5ft 4ins. and their father, reports the DAILY MIRROR. She was wearing a grey The one-year-old boy, two girls, aged nine bomber jacket with a pink zip and 11, and the driver, who is in his 40s, were and a multi-striped hooded badly shaken but uninjured following the sho- jumper, and spoke broken oting in Toxteth, south Liverpool.

English with an Eastern A Merseyside Police spokesman said up to European accent. three men in their 20s were responsible for the In a direct appeal to her, shooting on Wednesday afternoon.

While the motive is unknown, detectives Detective Sergeant Gerard believe it was a targeted attack. The gunmen Healy, of Newham Missing were of mixed race and wore black clothing Persons Unit, said: "Your during the incident, which damaged a rear win- baby is safe and doing really well but we need to talk to dow of the family's black Range Rover.

Det/Supt Richie Davies said: "This was an you. Please don't think you extremely reckless act that could have seen are in trouble or about to be the loss of the lives of three children and their arrested - we just want to father. know you are OK."

The Sun

‘Reckless’ gunmen fire at kids in car

Abandoned baby Charlie and, below, the police’s CCTV image of his missing mother

ROCK band R.E.M. have announced they are breaking up for good after 31 years together.

The group, formed in 1980, thanked their fans in a statement posted on their website.

R.E.M, led by singer Michael Stipe, released 15 albums during a stellar career.

The most famous included Out Of Time, Green and Automatic for the People.

The statement read: "To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M, and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band.

"We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished.

"To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening."

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Friday, September 23, 2011

UK HEADLINES

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

THE FREEZE IS COMING Daily Mirror BRITS have been warned of another big freeze this winter – with snow falling as early as October.

The premature frost, with below average temperatures over the next few months, was predicted by forecasters Exacta Weather.

Expert James Madden said on its website: “As we head towards winter, I expect to see the first signs of some moderate to heavy snowfalls as early as October or November in certain parts of the UK. “I expect December, January and February to experience below-average temperatures, with the heaviest snowfalls occurring within the time frame of November to January across many parts of the UK.” Last winter, Britain was thrown into chaos as freezing conditions and heavy snowfalls paralysed transport networks and brought airports grinding to a halt in the run-up to Christmas.

Parts of the UK saw up to 30 inches of snow. Temperatures plunged to -19C in some areas.

The cold snap is thought to have cost the economy up to

Manchester last winter: This year the big freeze could be starting in October £1.2billion a day, with a total loss of £13billion.

The Met Office said the beginning of October would see colder-than-average nights, bringing the chance of overnight frosts. The Midlands and the South-east would bear the brunt of the cold snap.

The US firm that predicted last year’s Arctic snap as well as the previous big freeze of 2009-2010 also warned that we might be in for another cold spell.

Weather Services International said October, November and December would see temperatures around two degrees lower than average.

Body-in suitcase teacher gets life EVIL music teacher Andrew Lindo has been given life with a minimum of 22 years for murdering his fiancée Marie Stewart.

A jury took just 55 minutes to convict Lindo, 29, this week — after hearing how he strangled, battered and stabbed Marie to death before storing her body in a flight bag in the integral garage of their home for seven weeks.

After the killing, he put their two young children in his car and went to collect his latest conquest, Angela Rylance.

Just hours later philandering Lindo — who had a string of at least five secret lovers — lay in a bed with Angela while secretly sending a text to a 15-year-old girl.

Lindo spent the night with

The Sun Angela in the bedroom where his attack on Marie, 30, had begun — and as her lifeless body lay two floors below. During the night he texted the under-age 15-year-old he was pursuing.

Lindo was described as a "committed philanderer" at Bradford Crown Court.

Prosecutor Michelle Colborne QC said: "His behaviour was full of infidelity and lies. He was entirely unfaithful."

Over 20 months he led a double life, having affairs with money shop worker Angela, 29, tap dance teacher Alison Doram, 28, singing tutor Amy Wilde, 26, the teenage schoolgirl and at least one other woman.

McIntyre quits Britain’s Got Talent MICHAEL McIntyre has sensationally quit as a judge on Britain's Got Talent.

The comic told ITV he was jacking in the job after just one year in the hot seat to concentrate on his stand-up career.

Livewire McIntyre, 35, is planning a massive 100-date tour next year and wants to channel all his energies into that.

He is the SECOND judge to leave the panel following David Hasselhoff's axing last month, leaving pregnant Amanda Holden as the sole survivor.

Doing stand-up nets McIntyre significantly more than his reported £250,000

The Sun BGT fee. A source said: "Michael has been weighing it up for a while as he does like the show and enjoyed being on the panel.

"But his first love is comedy and he wanted to embark on a tour and concentrate on that."

McIntyre could have squeezed in both as his tour does not start until after BGT, in August. But he said last night: "I absolutely loved being a judge but have been itching to get back on stage myself.’’

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Friday, September 23, 2011

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

I WAS asked this week to meet a couple of Spanish ladies ho had asked for assistance at the Ayuntamiento at Orihuela Costa.

They were Maria del Pilar Redondo Garcia and her mother who are members of the Asociacion Marinar and were visiting the area from Alicante.

The Association collects money in aid of mothers living with children without means or benefits, by going from door to door.

On visiting houses in the area they were presented with Donna Gee’s article in the July 22 edition relating to door-todoor collectors.

The Association leaflet was featured in the article and the ladies wanted to emphasise that their cause is perfectly legal. Indeed, they presented me with the documentation to prove it.

Unfortunately, they do not speak

80% of doorstep collectors ‘not genuine, admit charity women English and did not know how to contact you direct.

They wanted you to know that their Association was genuine but agreed that 80% of door-to-door collectors were not - and in fact their leaflet is being used by collectors who were not genuine.

The only way to ascertain if collectors are genuine or not is to read the paperwork, which is in Spanish.

Collectors are also obliged to present their Identity card.

It is of course up to the person who answers the door to decide whether to

give to this or any other charity.

CHRIS POOLE, Vecinos Colaborando, Orihuela Costa.

If Maria and her mother lost out because of my article, I am very sorry. That was not my intention – the article was meant to expose the conmen who masquerade as charity collectors.

Unfortunately it looks like a Catch 22 situation if, as Chris says, only the Spanish small print can prove the legitimacy of the collector. Very few British people would understand it – and who would have the patience to read it all, anyway?

l

CAN YOU TRUST SUPERMARKETS? My random bill check has got me wondering

WHEN I'm at the checkout at the supermarket, I am usually too busy packing my purchases into my bags (so as not to hold up the queue,) thinking the bill will be correct, because it's all automatically done with the barcodes etc.

This morning, for some reason, I decided to have a quick scan of my bill and amongst my purchases, I found that I’d been charged for three tins of tomatoes instead or two.

I immediately challenged the guy at the till, who must have expertly run one of the tins through twice while I was busy packing.

Without a hint of embarrassment or apology, he called over a supervisor who checked my bill and purchases, I AM writing to warn other readers about somemaking ME feel thing which happened to me recently. I purguilty, and then chased a handbag from an English shop at the handed me back Punta Marina Commercial Centre – and two 57 cents overweeks later one of the handles broke. charge, again As I hadn’t had any problems with goods previwithout an apoloously purchased from this shop, I hadn’t kept my gy. receipt.

The 57 cents I returned to the shop with the bag and explained isn't the problem, it's the principal. to a member of staff what had happened. She told I've shopped regu- me that as I hadn’t kept my receipt, there was nothlarly at Mercadona in La Marina for years, has ing they could do as Spanish policy was ‘no this robbery been taking place every time I visit refunds or exchanges without receipt, even if goods are faulty’. there?

After I expressed how unhappy I was with this, What would have happened if I tried to steal from them? I suppose the police would have she eventually agreed to send the bag away for been called and I would have got fined or examination. Four weeks(!) later, I received a phone call from the shop, with the message that there was worse.

I will in future, if I decide to shop there again, still nothing hey could do as I hadn’t kept the receipt.

The member of staff had told me the bag could stand at the till and check my bill through, and I urge everybody to do that, even if there's a long have been purchased anywhere – which is why they would do nothing without proof of purchase. This queue. made me feel like a liar and highlighted their lack of DAVE MOORE, La Marina

My broken handbag nightmare

A question of shorts at the theatre...

In response to Mr Robert Barnes of Campoverde (Issue 30), with reference to the theatre in Torrevieja, it is usually only at expat shows and concerts that the dress code is very relaxed.

I queried with the concierge last year the wearing of shorts and he said they had to agree to this in summer in view of the number of ladies in short, short skirts.

However, Spanish men would normally be in dress shorts with a smart shirt.

At the other events, the music-band concerts, theatre productions, concerts in the casino, which are mainly Spanish functionss, the audience is more likely to be very smart. customer care and product knowledge.

Indeed, many ladies are I will never shop in any o this store’s branches again. And a warning to your done up to the nines, in readers – throw away your receipt and which case men would never be in Hawaii shirts... you won’t have a leg to stand on.

LIZ KERSHAW, La Zenia.

JENNY DODD, Torrevieja

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Friday, September 23, 2011

WASTE NOT WANT NOT From Page 4

Which one of you is Cyril?

WHEN the remnants of Hurricane Katia hit Britain recently, there were some unusual casualties. Like these baby red squirrels, tossed from their nest at just fiveweeks old.

They were rescued and taken to the Sanctuary Wildlife Care Centre in Northumberland, where, according to the Daily Express, they are being kept warm and safe until they are ready to be released.

Nice one, squirrels. Now which one of you is Cyril?

average household with children £680 a year. The British Retail Consortium (BRC), which represents the interests of the major supermarkets, said the Government should concentrate on educating the public on the current system, which it insisted was not complicated.

BRC food director Andrew Opie said: “Helping consumers understand food past its best before date can still be eaten or cooked could contribute to reducing food waste and saving people money.

The Government should be spreading that message, not focusing on retail practices.” Asda said it had removed sell by dates several years ago and used a ‘whoops’ sticker to indicate that products were nearing the end of their shelf life.

None of its out-of-date food was sent to landfill but was recycled as energy.

A spokesman for Sainsbury’s said it did not use the term ‘sell by’ and had been reducing the number of items with the ‘display until’ label since January.

Waitrose said the focus should be on helping consumers understand the difference between ‘use by’ and ‘best-before’.

An investigation by the Waste and Resources Action Programme, whose research inspired the new guidelines, found that the number of products bearing two date codes had reduced significantly from 39 per cent in 2009 to 29 per cent this year.

Its director of design and waste prevention, Richard Swannell, said the changes could help people save up to £50 a month by reducing waste. He added: “There are other ways that you can provide information on stock control that don't confuse customers.”

What the labels mean:

BEST BEFORE Indicates the date when quality will begin to decline, although it remains safe to consume. Used on tinned and jarred items but also on bagged fruit such as apples. Will be retained.

DISPLAY UNTIL Tells retail staff how long a fresh item such as milk should be displayed in the shop.

Helps with stock rotation and reduces waste, but does not indicate whether an item is safe to consume so is often accompanied by a use-by date.

USE BY Tells consumers the date after which an item of food is unsafe to eat and must be thrown away. Selling food which has passed its use-by date is already illegal and punishable by a £20,000 fine. Will be retained for ready meals including sandwiches, soft cheese and smoked fish.

SELL BY Largely-defunct term that assisted in stock rotation but does not tell the consumer when the product is no longer safe to eat. The Government wants retailers to stop using it altogether.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

SPAIN THIS WEEK

MURCIA MOVING It’s the place to buy, ON UP say property experts

In addition, it will now be even easier to reach Murcia due to the upgrade of Corvera international airport, opening in 2012, which is expected to attract three million passengers.

FOURTEEN prominent Spanish tourism businesses have signed up to follow the Global Code of Ethics for Tourism.

The new code, launched in Madrid last week, is backed by the UN World Tourism Organisation (UNWTO), whose Secretary-General Taleb Rifai said: “If responsible tourism is to become a tangible reality in our world, it is essential that the private sector, like their counterparts in public institutions, embrace the principles of ethical, sustainable, and universally accessible tourism.’’

The commitment was made during the first International Congress on Ethics and Tourism, which brought together more than 450 high-profile tourism officials, business leaders, international organisations and experts.

TWO Asian women have been found guilty of not helping a man who died after suffering a heart attack in their massage parlour in Alicante.

Theywere fined more than €10,000 – but a third woman could not be sentenced as she was missing.

The incident occurred nearly two years ago in a massage parlour that is believed to operate as a brothel in the San Blas district.

Although all three women deny prostitution, one admitted carrying out massages.

While at the parlour, the 50-year-old man began to

feel unwell and have breathing problems. Another customer asked the women to call an ambulance.

It is believed that they instead moved him to a hallway, although this could not be proven during the trial.

The women claimed the victim walked out of the premises.

The other customer called 112 from a nearby bar, but by the time emergency services arrived, nothing could be done to revive the victim.

The defendants were ‘well aware’ of the seriousness of the situation, the court established, and yet did not call for help.

%PROPERTY experts at TheMoveChannel.com have tipped Murcia as the place to buy in Spain.

The region gets more hits on the property portal than other locations in Spain, with La Manga, Cartagena and Mar Menor the destinations in greatest demand.

Dan Johnson, director of TheMoveChannel.com, comments: “Spain remains the number one country in terms of enquiry volume to the site but

By SALLY we have seen a rise in BENGTSSON searches for property in Murcia province and the steadily fallen over the past Costa Calida in particular.

22 months from a high of ‘‘When compared to other €185,000 at the end of 2009. well-known coastal destinaAs Mr Johnson explains: tions such as the Costa “The Costa Calida was one Blanca or Costa del Sol, the area of Spain where the Costa Calida represents oversupply of property had a good value for money with somewhat negative effect on ample distressed and bank the market in the boom. repossessed stock available However, now there are to purchase at heavily dis- superb opportunities for counted rates.” investors to purchase reposAccording to the latest sessed property and disSpanish House Price Index tressed developments direct from Kyero.com (July 2011), from the bank at bargain the average asking price for prices. property in Murcia stands at ‘‘This, coupled with future €163,000, some 62% below growth in tourism to the the national average of region and the 50 per cent €263,000.

Prices have reduction in IVA until the end

of the year, makes this the ideal time to buy in Murcia.”

And, there are plenty of reasons that today’s buyers of property in Murcia can be optimistic about the future, with tourism to the region set to receive a welcome boost from the approved Paramount Theme Park due to open in 2015.

Located just 15 minutes from the beach and resort of Puerto de Mazarron, the 158-hectare leisure site with movie-inspired theme zones, five star hotels, shopping malls, restaurants, bars and clubs, plus a 3,000 capacity conference centre is expected to attract more than four million visitors each year.

NEW ALICANTE BLOW FOR IKEA Ikea, the Swedish multinational, has hit another snag in its plans to build a new store in Alicante.

There was news some months ago that the Development Ministry considers the site chosen would have an adverse effect on the city’s traffic flow. And now the CHJ Júcar Water Authority says the Ikea site has been wrongly classified in the Rabasa development plan for the area.

Diario Información indicates that it is classified as commercial land which is suitable for development, but a report from the CHJ records it as public land which cannot be used for building.

The site is public because it is crossed by a mains water pipe and, while the pipe remains in use, the land cannot be sold

or used for development.

Sources quoted by the newspaper said the Rabasa plan includes relocating the pipe elsewhere, which would be paid for by the developer, and would be one of the first tasks to be completed once the development project gets underway. It’s understood however that the CHJ wants the pipe moved first so the land can be reclassified before it gives its approval to Rabasa.

The CHJ had previously challenged the Plan Rabasa in 2007 on the grounds that drinking water supply to the thousands of new homes which are planned as part of the development could not be guaranteed. The Valencia High Court has yet to resolve the matter, but the CHJ has however now indicated that there would be enough supply.

Tourism: Spain’s only way is ethics

Massage women left client to die

Friday, September 23, 2011

Chilli chicken chow mein Ingredients

• 200 g mung bean noodles • 3 chinese dried mushrooms, soaked in boiling water for 20 minutes, drained • 1 tsp sesame oil For the noodles • 200 g chicken breasts, without skin, boneless, chopped into 2cm chunks • 1 egg whites, lightly beaten • 1 tbsp cornflour • 1 tbsp dark soy sauce • 2 tbsp groundnut oil • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 1 piece ginger, (2cm) • 1 red chillies, seeds removed, chopped • 1 tbsp light soy sauce • 1 tsp chilli sauce • 1 medium carrot, coarsely grated • 60 g bean sprouts • 60 g shredded spring onions • 1 dashes of sesame oil • 0.5 tsp salt • 0.5 tsp ground black pepper • 1 tbsp coriander leaves, chopped

Method 1. Cook the mung bean noodles in a pan of boiling water for 2-3 minutes, until tender. Tip into a colander and rinse with cold water before drizzling with sesame oil. Drain the mushrooms from their soaking water, remove and discard the stems, and roughly chop.

2. Mix the egg white with the cornflour and dark soy sauce, and mix with the chicken pieces.

3. Heat the groundnut oil in a wok and toss in the garlic, ginger and red chilli. Stir fry for one minute over a high heat.

4. Add the cornflour-coated chicken to the wok and continue frying for another minute. Add the light soy sauce, chilli sauce and chopped mushrooms, followed by the mung bean noodles. Stir fry for 1 more minute, or until the noodles are warmed through.

4. Stir in the carrots, bean sprouts, spring onions, sesame oil and seasoning. Scatter with chopped coriander and serve straight from the pan.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

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Friday, September 23, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Pat was having problems with the HP charger ADVICE: Michael was having issues using Microsoft for her laptop SkyDrive

Hi Richard. Apologies for bothering you on a Sunday, but would like to ask if you have some spare time to look at our HP laptop. We are getting the following message when we connect the power supply:

Q

"WARNING - Smart AC adapter power output is too low for this computer" As I'm sure you will know this means that the laptop isn't charging up and without another power supply to hand we don't know if it is the power supply connector or the PC connector that may be at fault - so if you have some time that you can spare us it would be greatly appreciated.

A 3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Hi Pat could you give this a go and see if it helps...

1. Press and Hold power button till the laptop turns off (5-7 sec approx.).

2. Then unplug the AC adaptor.

Turn the laptop upside down.

Then remove battery.

Then press and hold the power button for 60 seconds (to remove static electricity).

Then plug in AC adaptor and turn on the laptop.

Then shut down the laptop and plug in the battery.

I found this advice on the HP forum; it suggests that the problem is with the HP power management software not the adaptor or the laptop.

ADVICE: Michael wanted to know how to back up Microsoft Outlook Express

Q A

Hi Richard, you showed me how to open outlook express files so that I could transfer them onto my USB stick but I’ve forgotten. Thanking you for your time and help.

Hi Michael, with regards to your Outlook Express data files location, you can find this location by going into Outlook Express and doing the following…

1.

2.

3.

4.

Click Tools Click Options Click on the Maintenance tab Click Store Location

...the location of your email and email folders is displayed under the label “Your personal message store is located in the following folder”. Remember to copy (not move) these files to your USB stick and also remember to have Outlook Express closed when you are copying them to ensure data integrity.

Hi Richard, today I went to your article about Microsoft SkyDrive and DropBox on your web page and followed the links through to SkyDrive and decided to try and use it. Not trusting that I knew how to use it properly or if it worked I tried transferring some unimportant files over and after I was satisfied I transferred my Microsoft money file over and here lies the problem. It wiped off a whole years accounts and even worse it wiped it off the computer as well.

Now fortunately I do not trust computers at all and so I always keep a paper copy of everything as well and so now I have several hours work to update the computer back to today’s date. Have you any ideas as to why this would happen and is there a solution to it.

I did not touch the computer whilst it was loading the files just as it says not to on the screen.

Q

Hi Michael, I doubt very much that anything has been “wiped” from your computer.

Could it be that the Microsoft Money file has been moved to a different location - in copying it to your SkyDrive it will have probably have been moved from where Microsoft Money expects the file to be. If the file is in the wrong location then Microsoft Money will load up and create a new blank file – I suspect this is what you are seeing?

A

The “fix” is to simply place the Microsoft Money file .MNY (depending on the version you are using) back in the place that Microsoft Money is expecting it to be. Once you have this fixed, in future I would recommend using the built in facility within Microsoft Money to take a backup of your data and place that backup in your SkyDrive for safe keeping.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, September 23, 2011

FOR THE LOV WHY ALL T Mike TIndall with blonde (left) and facing a press inquisition

Friday, September 23, 2011

VE OF MIKE, THIS FUSS? LET’S forget the rugby for a moment and delve into the off-duty world of an international rugby player, with late night bars, dwarf throwing, liaisons with blonde beauties and bungee jumping.

The England camp were temporarily thrown into disarray this week when Mike Tindall was caught on camera apparently fraternising with a young blonde lady outside a late bar.

This incident only goes to show what depths some members of the public and certain strands of the media will go to to dig the dirt. Players are under intense pressure and they have the right, just like you and I, to relax and let their hair down

occasionally without continually having to look over their shoulder.

Let’s keep this real and in perspective. Yes, players have a responsibility to be professional on and off the pitch but Tindall’s innocent chance meeting with the lovely lady (apparently a friend and wedding guest of both him and his wife) was, bottom line, a stitch-up and blown out of all proportion, causing an unwanted distraction to Martin Johnson and England's World Cup preparations.

The press conference was a farce, with more questions posed to Johnson about his players’ offduty activities than his team’s next match against Georgia. Jonno side-stepped the issue with a shrug of his huge shoulders, saying "Big news… the guy was out having a beer, so what?" Move on.

They didn't have the quaint Aussie pastime of dwarf throwing in my day.

When we toured Australia, all the forwards had to chuck about was one of our Sheilas in the backs, or our much-loved but diminutive physio Kevin Murphy, who was always up for a beer and a challenge. How times have changed.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

HOW TO GET RID OF LOVE HANDLES

IS there any kind of fat on the body that is more difficult to get rid of than love handles?

Women for ages have struggled to shed those extra pounds that just happen to linger and roll right over the top of their pants.

Whether it’s from having a high fat diet, drinking too much alcohol or pregnancy, love handles are the most stubborn fat deposits to get rid of on one’s body.

But here’s the good news: You can get rid of them.

There isn’t really a big secret behind it, and you don’t have to go out and buy into some sort of “quick fix” diet solution. Getting rid of the love handles means looking at your diet, and looking at how much you exercise. You can choose to do either one, but doing these both in combination with one another is the surest way to get rid of the love handles.

Cut Out Alcohol

If you enjoy wine, martinis and cocktails, throw these right out the window.

Alcohol, or any sort of beverage that has sugar (this includes caffeinated beverages, such as colas) quickly adds weight to your body without you even realising it.

You may be three glasses of wine in and have gained an extra 500 calories. In a short amount of time this adds up to pounds and pounds of excess flab hanging off of your waist.

TIP: If you do attend any sort of social functions and you need a drink, go for the hard alcohol and drink it straight. Vodka, for example, will not add to your calorie count.

Eat Good Carbs Stick with the good carbs and throw out the bad. Look at the carbs that you eat in a day: bread, crackers, cakes, that biscuit or donut that you have every coffee break.

Bread is good, as long as it is whole wheat, but none of the other food items are ever healthy or even beneficial to your health. It’s all excess fat being added to your body. Stick with a lot of vegetables, lots of fruits, and

any sort of pastas, rice, breads, and other grain products that are brown – not white.

Drink Lots of Water

Water not only helps keep us full for longer, but it also helps flush out the dangerous toxins that may be causing our body to hang on to those pesky love handles.

Get those eight glasses of water a day and even that alone will help you see a difference in you body.

Cardio Exercises There is no better way to burn fat than to elevate your heart rate. Doing cardiovascular exercises will burn away that excess fat by

IF you are an older adult, chances are that you have worried about or had your blood pressure checked out recently. You are not alone. In fact, it is estimated that over 1.5 billion people worldwide now suffer from hypertension, also known as high blood pressure.

The good news is, hypertension is preventable and curable.

To understand hypertension, you have to understand the workings of the heart. It is like a pump, made of four chambers. When it contracts, it pushes blood through blood vessels called arteries which supply blood to cells. When it relaxes, blood returns to it through veins.

The pressure of the heart on contraction is known as the SYSTOLIC PRESSURE and has a normal range value of 110-120mmHg, while the pressure on relaxation is known as DIASTOLIC PRESSURE, with a normal value of 80mmHg. Both blood pressure readings are equally important. When blood exerts too much pressure on blood vessels, hypertension occurs.

It is important to say that 95% of hypertension (ESSENTIAL HYPERTENSION) has no direct cause, but has many associations. Understanding these associations will help you make the necessary adjustments in your lifestyle that will help towards preventing and even curing high blood pressure.

keeping your metabolism revved up and turning your body into a super fat-burning machine. Run, jog, bike, or even walk. A minimum of 30 minutes of cardio should be attained each and every day in order to stay healthy and keep your weight where you want it to be.

Work Your Core Working your core muscles will do a lot to help tighten up the skin that has become loosened by the fat deposits.

Exercises such as the plank, crunches and sit ups all help work not only the abdominal muscles, but the back muscles, so everything is being squeezed in tightly by a firm girdle of strong and taut muscles.

Good Mood Food

When research scientists observed that populations who consume a lot of seafood had the lowest rate of depression, they started to suspect that there could be a link between omega-3 fatty acids and mood. Researchers at the National Institutes of Health have found that higher fish consumption in a nation correlates with lower rates of depression in its population.

In 1996, the Journal of the American Medical Association published a study comparing the prevalence of depression across ten nations. The survey yielded eye-opening results in showing how the lifetime and annual rates for depression vary widely from country to country (e.g. 1.5 in every 100 adults in Taiwan experience depression in their lifetimes while the figure is 19 for every 100 adults in Beirut). A 1998 study published in The Lancet compared this data with fish consumption, finding the higher consuming populations experienced less depression.

NATURAL WAYS TO TREAT HYPERTENSION

WATCH WHAT YOU EAT AND WEIGH Blood pressure often increases as weight increases.

It is known that 85% of people who suffer from hypertension have a body mass index (BMI) greater than 25.

Note that the normal is between 18.5 and 25. Losing 10 pounds in weight will go a long way in reducing a high blood pressure. A weight loss programme towards blood pressure reduction must be complemented by an appropriate diet for effective results.

A healthy diet should include one rich in whole foods like oats, brown rice, whole-meal bread, oats, brown pasta, millet, tuna, olive oil, sardines (rich in omega-3), fresh vegetables and fruits. Bananas, tomatoes, water melons, oranges and spinach are high in potassium, which helps lower high blood pressure. The role of salt in raising blood pressure is well documented. Most of the salt we ingest comes from processed food, intake of which should be reduced.

Avoid drinking alcohol and smoking. Both are known to cause high blood pressure in susceptible individuals.

Garlic is a wonder drug for the heart. It is known to lower cholesterol levels and even cure hypertension.

When people with high blood pressure were given one clove of garlic a day for 12 weeks, their diastolic blood pressure and cholesterol levels were significantly reduced.

STRESS AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

Stress, which is the pressure we feel from the outside world, is a normal part of life. But too much stress can lead to emotional, psychological and yes physical problems such as high blood pressure. When under stress, we react in different ways, we may overeat, or get angry, or smoke more. Most of our reactions when under stress may cause hypertension. Because the feeling of stress is mostly mental, there is a relationship with the brain. Activities such as a brisk walk along the beach, or just sitting out in your front garden, reduces your brain wave frequency, thereby reducing stress and blood pressure.

For a free guide, contact Dr. Machi Mannu, neuro repatterning Specialist, email: contact@mindspa.es

Friday, September 23, 2011

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Hot Concept Cars When designers and engineers are let loose with the crayons and big sheets of paper, the results are usually radical, stunning and often downright wacky. Here are ten of the best new concepts from Frankfurt.

BMW i3

sprint from 0-62mph in less than five seconds. But probably not at the same time.

Dubbed 'The Megacity Vehicle', the i3 is an electric-only machine with rear-opening rear doors and a small turning circle that will help it fit right in on the mean streets of future cities, whether mega or otherwise. Light weight is intended to help boost the total range.

Cadillac Ciel It's been a while since Cadillac released any new design ideas that really translated what used to be so great about the brand into the new millennium, but the Ciel changes that.

BMW i8 BMW haven't been the quickest out of the blocks with hybrid technology, but they're hoping to make up for it with their 'i' sub-brand. The i8 sports car can achieve about 94mpg, and

Audi Urban Concept

Low, long and effortlessly cool, the Ciel is a proper Caddy through and through.

The future of urban motoring? Probably not, because it rains in cities and the Urban Concept has no roof. But a roofless concept car goes down best judging by the number of them at Frankfurt, and the Urban Concept takes a stab at how personal, in-town mobility will develop in the future.

Arguably one of the best looking cars at the whole show, the Miray is a roadster straight from a sci-fi film. The shallow windscreen leaves your head a bit open to passing insects, but it'd be a sacrifice worth making to park such a fabulous

Chevrolet Miray

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Friday, September 23, 2011 doors become the standard for family cars, but the Evos looks great with them. Lovely proportions and a bold new grille would make the Evos, if it were directly turned into a new Mondeo, a sure-fire hit in the showrooms.

Renault Captur

machine on your drive every day.

Citroen Tubik Yes, it looks like an angry warthog from the front, but picture the Tubik as a fashionable activity van for the 21st century.

Mercedes A-Class concept Marking a major departure from the rather bland mini-MPV dimensions of the current A-Class, the concept is nothing

Loads of space and in-car entertainment is great for, say, driving to Cornwall and having a beach party, if you're into that sort of thing.

Ford Evos Sadly, we're not likely to see the day when gullwing-type Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time.

Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the new driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to the his dad.

"Nope," comes Dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

short of stunning from every angle. The nose, which is designed to invert the idea of a honeycomb grille, is a particular highlight, but it's beautiful from top to tail.

This striking mix of wacky ideas and future Renault design combines seats made of rope and tyres that act to continue the design of the wheels themselves. There's also a central exhaust and mock diffuser, but the front grille design is actually not that far from production-bound styles.

Volkswagen Buggy Up! Although there are no plans to build the Buggy Up! at all, it's actually a really smart design. It's a well-proportioned and genuinely stylish update to Volkswagen's beach buggies of decades past. It's easy to imagine it rolling along the sea front anywhere in the world.

30

Friday, September 23, 2011

Time for charity, everyone!

THIS weekend is charity weekend, with two massive charity fun days promising a brilliant day – and night - out for everyone.

Why not get down to The Park on Via Park II on Sunday for the Help the Heroes bash. There’s a full day’s line up of fabulous entertainment, fun and games.

Or, join in the events at the Contra Cancer and Caritas fundraiser in San Luis, next to the big car park by the CAM bank, also on Sunday.

They are all worthwhile charities; who doesn’t want to help the heroes or fight cancer. Caritas is perhaps less familiar but still an excellent cause. It is an organisation that helps the homeless in

Torrevieja.

Organisers of the San Luis event are also hoping to raise enough money to spend a little on tidying up the urbanisation. Great as far as I’m concerned as San Luis was the first place I lived in Spain so will always have a special place in my heart. It deserves a little TLC. The San Luis Fun Day kicks off at 10am with a street market and charity stalls. The main party starts at 2pm with a giant paella, followed by a BBQ, so make sure you’re hungry.

There will, of course, be music and the compere for the day is Mr Lynden B. He will keep the party going right the way through to midnight, with live acts appearing all day and into the night.

At 3pm, U2 tribute act Just Bono will take to the stage, followed by JJ Soulman performing 70s disco classics. Then there’s San Luis act Mr BJ Bluesman and Dave Moss with his Buddy Holly tribute act. A little traditional local flavour follows

with some Spanish dancing. Finally, there’s Emily Hullman, the talented teenager everyone’s talking about. Emily is only 17 but she has a voice that will blow you away. Of course, the night wouldn’t be complete without the crazy antics of Mr Lynden B as Elvis. And, there are bound to be a few surprises on the day, too.

The organisers have asked me to thank all the acts, who are giving their time for free to support the charities. They also wanted a special mention for local businesses that have helped and donated some great raffle prizes. Thanks go to Glenns Bar, Chicken Shack, The Watering Hole, Luz de Luna and Star of India.

Anyway, I know where I will be this weekend. I can’t wait to sample the paella and have a go at Spanish dancing. Why not come along and join me – if you’re not too busy having fun at the Help the Heroes do, that is. Also, don’t forget the Adonis Boys are on at the Emerald Isle next week, Friday 30. Grab a ticket from the venue itself or Easy Ads, La Zenia or The Post Room, Benijofar.

Well, that’s me finished for another week. If you’re a bar owner or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig guide, or you have any events coming up that you would like me to tell everyone about, then please contact me by email at mandy@starsinbars.org, call me on 685 302 529, or just visit my website www.starsinbars.org

Mandy

DATE

VENUE

ACT/ EVENT

OTHER INFO

FRIDAY 23rd

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca La Batalla in Roldan Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest Las Naciones in Quesada Arches in Los Alcazares

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Lynden B Nick Gold Nikki G Greg March Tony Lincoln

Starting at 10pm Comedy Show

SATURDAY 24th

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Pals in La Siesta Shenanigans in Quesada Lodosol in San Pedro North & South in Quesada

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Andy Jones Jimmy Mac Emily Hullmann Lynden B Kye Jaymes

Starting at 10pm

Snug in Torre de la Horredada Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Casa Ventura in San Luis Lo Marabu in Dona Pepa Boulevard Cafe in los Alcazares Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest

Red Strokes Cabaroke with Matt Christian Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Bobby Dazzler’s Karaoke Kye Jaymes J.J Soulman

MONDAY 26th

Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Boulevard Cafe in Los Alcazares

D.J Jay Shirelle

TUESDAY 27th

Inn at the green in Entre Naranjos Bar Rosa in Los Montesinos Arches in Los Alcazares Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Boulevard Cafe in Los Alcazares

Kens Quiz Quiz night with Darren James Karaoke with Ruby Blues Karaoke with D.J Jay Lorna Michelle

Starting at 9pm

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Montes Bar in Los Montesinos Restaurant La Boca in Playa Los Locos Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Boulevard Cafe in Los Alcazares The Black Bull in Torremendo Arches in Los Alcazares

Crazy Bingo with Spike Fun Music Quiz B.J Bluesman Magician & D.J Jay Debbie Slater Andy Jones Shirelle

Starting at 4pm Starting at 9pm

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Sisoma Romana in Dona Pepa The Priory in El Galan Bobby’s Bar in Quesada Boulevard Cafe in Los Alcazares

Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Tony Lincoln Lenny Mitchell Bobby Dazzler’s Karaoke J.J Soulman

SUNDAY 25th

WEDNESDAY 28th

THURSDAY 29th

Comedy Show

Starting at 5pm Starting at 6pm

Starting at 8.30pm

Starting at 10pm

Starting at 9.30pm

31

Friday, September 23, 2011

HOT GOSSIP Kasabian are heading for their third consecutive chart-topping album in the UK as former N-Dubz member Dappy looks set to start his solo career with a number one single.

Columbia-signed Kasabian’s newlyissued Velociraptor is outselling its nearest rival, Asylum/Atlantic artist Ed Sheeran’s +, by more than two copies to one at this stage of the week, according to Official Charts Company ´Data´. XL act Adele’s 21 is currently third, while the top five is completed by Atlantic’s Christina Perri debuting at four with Lovestrong and the Sony-issued Duets II album by Tony Bennett in fifth place.

Two other brand new albums are at present among the Top 10 positions with supergroup SuperHeavy, whose lineup includes Mick Jagger, Dave Stewart and Joss

Stone, in eighth position with their selftitled debut A&M album, while Roadrunner’s Opeth are a place below with Heritage.

It is a very busy week for new albums with another seven currently occupying places among the week’s 40 biggest

sellers. They include the first Tori Amos album via Deutsche Grammophon’s and Waterboys whose Proper-issued An Appointment With Mr Yeats is the 17th top seller of the week so far. It is the Mike Scott-fronted act’s first studio album since 1993’s Dream Harder, which peaked at five.

Also set to chart this week are new albums from Speech Developmentsigned Scrobius Pip, Columbia’s Pearl Jam, Topic’s June Tabor & The Oyster Band and Cooking Vinyl’s The Subways.

On singles Dappy has opened up a 19,000 sales lead over Syco’s One Direction as he looks to launch his solo career with a number one single, although he did peak at five on Spaceship with Tinchy Stryder.

If his All Around The World Island-issued No Regrets makes it, it would be the ninth different number one in as many weeks. One Direction’s first single What Makes You Beautiful, which debuted at one last Sunday, is the new chart week’s second top seller, while Warner Bros act Jason Derulo’s newly-issued It Girl is third, A&M/Octone/Polydor’s Moves Like Jagger by Maroon

“SuperHeavy” SuperHeavy seems less an artistic collaboration than a temporary marketing partnership of a product called MiddleAged Pop Music L.L.C. Mick Jagger, Joss Stone and Damian Marley are the primary singers. They wrote the selftitled album’s songs, together with Dave Stewart, formerly of the Eurythmics, and A. R. Rahman, the film composer and producer. Mr. Jagger and Mr. Stewart produced the album, and Mr. Jagger is the sun around which this thing spins: the spirit of much of the album — roots-reggae and R&B and arena rock and ballads — seems to descend from his duet collaborations in the 1970s and ’80s with Peter Tosh and Tina Turner. A few tracks, thanks to Mr. Rahman, come with tinctures of Indian pop. What could go wrong with all that?

If you have to ask you’ll never know. An almost total lack of good songs constitutes the album’s basic problem. Once that’s understood, the record becomes sort of entertaining: gaudy, vacuous, densely mannered. (Parts of the album were recorded off the coasts of Greece and Turkey on the Octopus, a boat owned by the Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen that Wikipedia calls “the fifth largest superyacht not owned by a

head of state.”) It is a credible soundtrack for someone’s gold-plated midwinter Caribbean vacation — someone who doesn’t really listen to music per se — and it could be a pretty heavy comedy album if its intent were moved a few inches.

Mr. Marley croaks and toasts his parts; Ms. Stone does her canned soul histrionics. Mr. Rahman sings a few lines in a few tracks and is otherwise most noticeable when playing some goopy synthesizer passages. But Mr. Jagger is the source of the record’s best unintentional humor. He throws effort into this record, whining, yammering,

imprecating, imitating himself fabulously. In the ludicrous “Energy” (chorus: “I said hey! I need your crazy energy!”), you can hear him rapping, sort of, in the second verse and playing a “Midnight Rambler”-style harmonica solo, distorted so you know it’s done with feeling. There’s a “political” song called “I Can’t Take It No More”: it has a horn section and a party vibe. This is a polyglot record whose best song, the ballad “Never Gonna Change,” sounds the least like the rest of the tracks; it sounds as if it belongs on an early-’70s Stones record.

But you might want to jump straight to “One Day One Night,” in which Mr. Jagger — and Mr. Marley too, though not so memorably — pretends to be alone, heartbroken and cranky. He sings: Where the hell is the bellman Did I call downstairs?

Does anybody care?

Send me a packet of cigarettes please Make that two One bottle of vodka One glass The television doesn’t seem to work so well What a situation.

5 featuring Christina Aguilera drops 2-4 and James Morrison’s first Island single I Won’t Let You Go is showing up as a new entry at five.

Singer-songwriter Damien Rice is on course to score his first-ever UK Top 10 single in the most unlikely circumstances with his 2002 cut Cannonball rocketing so far this week 39-6. It is all thanks to contestant John Adams covering the Atlantic-issued single during Cardiff X Factor auditions screened last Saturday. The track originally peaked at number 32 in 2003 and then returned the following year in a remix version at 19.

The same show also looks like sending Ed Sheeran’s Asylum/Atlantic single The A Team back into the Top 10 after contestant Bradley Johnson performed it with its sales up 131% week on week to place it seventh in the week so far.

A former TKO fm weekly power play by Sak Noel’s Loca People has already been a big hit across continental Europe and is shaping up to follow suit in the UK when it comes out next week.

However, ahead of that a cover version

by CDM Chart breakers, issued on the CHV Music Factory label, is the week to date’s 20th biggest seller, placing it just behind A&M act Nicola Roberts’ newlyissued Lucky Day.

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS POP QUIZ September 23 Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions. Let´s see if you can win yourself a meal for two at Quesada fish and chips.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm

1. Lead singer with Kajagoogoo.

2. Curtis Mayfield was a founder of this group.

3. Sharleene Spiteri is their lead singer.

4. Big hit for T.Rex in 1972.

5. Elvis Presleys first film.

6. Friday was on their minds.

7. Name of the record label founded by Frank Sinatra.

8. Calling All The Heroes was a 1986 hit for this group.

9. The Rolling Stones Brian Jones was born in this spa town.

10. First name of singer Nilsson.

11. Stage name for Stuart Goddard.

12. Johnny,Joey,Tommy & Dee Dee made up this garage band.

13. The original home city of Tamla Motown.

32

Friday, September 23, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 26 represents G and 10 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Charts (6) 4 Staple (6) 9 Laces up (7) 10 Alecs (5) 11 Deers (5) 12 Spectra (7) 13 Are (3) 14 Stead (5) 16 Bassi (5) 18 Rep (3) 19 Cartels (7) 21 Agree (5) 23 Oldie (5) 24 Tedious (7) 25 Neared (6) 26 Serves (6)

Down 1 Rescued (7) 2 Ape LP (5) 3 Sucrose (7) 5 Roles (5) 6 Varlets (7) 7 Pests (5) 8 Predictions (11) 15 Retrial (7) 16 Herb tea (7) 17 Testers (7) 19 Votes (5) 20 Ogled (5) 22 Rings (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Glasses, 5 Sight, 8 Aroma, 9 Glamour, 10 Trounce, 11 Taste, 12 Fasten, 14 Genius, 17 Cocoa, 19 Carcass, 22 Survive, 23 Laird, 24 Abode, 25 Success.

Down: 1 Grant, 2 Amorous, 3 Stain, 4 Signed, 5 Startle, 6 Gloss, 7 Targets, 12 Fuchsia, 13 Evasive, 15 Imagine, 16 Access, 18 Cargo, 20 Relic, 21 Sides.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Gather it’s a church service (5) 4 A rugby match is not odd in a ship (6) 9 Mix-up as Spurs excel (7) 10 Cold girl showing high social standing (5) 11 Start to exhibit worry!

(4) 12 Braise a stew in a military installation (3,4) 13 Able to store vegetables (3) 14 Get steamed up over such a sore (4) 16 Award youth leader, do as you are told (4) 18 Betray abstract art (3) 20 Injured rare cat’s exhausting routine (3,4) 21 Confused mate is submissive (4) 24 Part of the hoopla Zachary caused at The Mall (5) 25 Same woe story strangely intimidating (7) 26 Ready, stand on the seat (6) 27 Twist of the head (5) STANDARD CLUES

Across 1 Accumulate (5) 4 Card game (6) 9 Distinguish oneself (7) 10 Lesson (5) 11 Ragout (4) 12 Military aircraft station (3,4) 13 Container (3) 14 Simmer (4) 16 Follow (4) 18 Rodent (3) 20 Continual round of hectic activity (3,4) 21 Domesticated (4) 24 Public square (5) 25 Impressive (7) 26 Sofa (6) 27 Braid (5)

Down 1 Such donkeys point at the way we tax them (6) 2 See eye to eye with a Green without end (5) 3 Phineas Taylor Barnum admitted delay (4) 5 Get Oscar to change the French delicacy (8) 6 Originate from an Eastern team now disbanded (7) 7 Nun is back to sort out the rest (6) 8 As in a way to become different continental (5) 13 Silicone Valley? (8) 15 Pariah dismissed players (7) 17 Bitches about bellyaches (6) 18 Concerned with the non-clerical? They do it by stages (5) 19 Depression about church ship (6) 22 Fuss about love (5) 23 To some, garden tools are a source of impression (4)

Down 1 Evaluate (6) 2 Concur (5) 3 Remain (4) 5 Edible snail (8) 6 Radiate (7) 7 Female sibling (6) 8 Far Eastern (5) 13 Split (8) 15 Exile (7) 17 Grumbles (6) 18 Broadcast (5) 19 Break (6) 22 Love intensely (5) 23 Hollow (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Rational, 7 Shave, 8 Barcelona, 9 Owl, 10 Skip, 11 Saline, 13 Skewer, 14 Rescue, 17 Shares, 18 Unit, 20 Cut, 22 Rationale, 23 Roars, 24 Freehand.

Down: 1 Robes, 2 Termite, 3 Over, 4 Amoral, 5 Canoe, 6 Realise, 7 Satires, 12 Repairs, 13 Spectre, 15 Cantata, 16 Pewter, 17 Steam, 19 Tweed, 21 Done.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Lay Ace Leg Aga Lot Age Mac Ate Mid Beg Mop Bra Oaf Cat Oak Eke Pet Elm Pot End Roc Fir Spa Gap Tab Gel Tar Gym Ted Has Use Lag Yen Law 4 letter words

Aces Acid Ages Area Boar Boas Boot Deal Dock Ears Etch Loch Magi Note Pore Rare Role Soon

Soot Told 5 letter words Asset Lathe Pasta Slant 7 letter words Greeted Macabre Slyness Undated 9 letter words Bagatelle Cameraman Pacemaker Wallpaper

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Leer (4) 3 Turkey (4) 8 Nieta (13) 10 Estado (de objeto, proceso) (5) 11 Camiones (7) 12 Obsessed (6) 14 Alicates (6) 18 Cosecha (recogida) (7) 20 To turn (wheel etc) (5) 22 Cuñados (8-2-3) 23 Seguro (convencido) (4) 24 To drop (object, person) (4)

Down 1 Flood (5) 2 Dirección (señas) (7) 4 Ira (de persona) (5) 5 Fuera (de edificio, objeto, indicando posición) (7) 6 August (6) 7 Grey (in colour) (4) 9 There (4) 13 Serio (expresión, tono) (7) 15 Tear (drop) (7) 16 Tornillos (6) 17 Remover (sopa) (4) 18 Broad bean (4) 19 To throw (ball, stone, dice) (5) 21 Regla (instrumento) (5)

33

Friday, September 23, 2011 Across 1 What name is given to fragments of a bomb, shell, or other object thrown out by an explosion? (8) 7 Which is the third largest and most populous country in the world? (5) 8 San José is the capital of which republic in Central America? (5,4) 9 By what much shorter name is the long linear polymer deoxyribonucleic acid usually known? (3) 10 Which garment consisting of a length of cotton or silk elaborately draped around the body, is traditionally worn by women from the Indian subcontinent? (4) 11 The name of which traditional Japanese system of unarmed combat means ‘empty hand’? (6) 13 What name is given to the flat part of either side of the head between the forehead and the ear? (6) 14 Up until the introduction of the euro, what was the basic monetary unit of Finland? (6) 17 See 22 18 In music, what name is given to a separate composition or set of compositions? (4) 20 The wildebeest is another term for which animal? (3) 22/17 Which national park in eastern Arizona, 29 km east of Holbrook, was established as a national monument in 1906 and as a national park in 1962? (9,6) 23 In golf, which bird of prey gives its name to a score of two strokes under par at a hole? (5) 24 Which building near Washington DC serves as the

Quiz Word

headquarters of the US Department of Defence? (8) Down 1 Andrew who played the Spanish waiter Manuel in Fawlty Towers? (5)

SUDOKU

2 Derived from the Latin for ‘to gnaw’, what name is given to a raised platform on which a person stands to make a public speech, play music or conduct an orchestra? (7) 3 Williams, Bartlett and Conference are all varieties of which fruit? (4) 4 Which Hebrew prophet in the Old Testament opposed the worship of idols and was persecuted for rebuking Ahab and Jezebel? (6) 5 Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills were the first names of which Irish dramatist, novelist, poet, and wit? (5) 6 Kingston is the capital of which island country in the Caribbean Sea? (7) 7 What name is given to a procession of wagons, mules or camels travelling together in single file? (7) 12 Money for what means money or reward earned for little or no effort (3,4) 13 What was the name of Roy Rogers’ horse? (7) 15 Rudyard who wrote The Jungle Book and the Just So Stories? (7) 16 Which African bloodsucking fly transmits sleeping sickness and nagana? (6) 17 Which soft crumbly or chewy sweet is made from sugar, butter, and milk or cream? (5) 19 What name was given to an enclosed chair for conveying one person, carried between horizontal poles by two porters? (5) 21 Which Italian automobile company was founded in 1899

by Giovanni Agnelli? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH INSTRUMENTOS MUSICALES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

music QUIZ 1. Which British Pop Band Had A Hit Album In 1967 With 'If Music Be The Food Of Love..Prepare For Indigestion'?

2. The Kane Gang Split To Become Who? 3. In which film did Donna Summer make her debut as an aspiring disco singer?

4. French Kissin In The USA Was A Hit For Who? 5. What Were The Band 'Yes ' Owners Of? 6. Name The 2 No.1 Singles For The Seekers In The 60's?

7. Whose Albums Include 'Steel Town' & 'Peace In Our Time'?

8. What female rock star did Mike Wallace of '60 Minutes' interview in 1969?

9. Slam Dunk (Da Funk) Was The First UK Hit For Which Boy Band?

10. Le Freak' and 'Good Times' were hits for which New York group?

11. The Lee Dorsey Song 'Working In A Coal Mine' Was Later Covered By Which Quirky Band?

1. Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich 2. Hue & Cry 3.

Thank God It's Friday 4. Dennie Harry 5. A Lonely Heart 6. I'll Never Find Another You / The Carnival Is Over 7. Big Country 8. Janis Joplin 9. Five 10. Chic 11. Devo

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1/24 Charlton Athletic, 7/10 Cutty Sark, 8 Tasman Sea, 9 Len, 11 Engage, 13 Reagan, 14 Mercer, 17 Convoy, 18 Aria, 20 Ike, 22 Sister Act, 23 Leeds.

Down: 1 Cates, 2 Austria, 3 Lead, 4 Orsino, 5 Stole, 6 Myanmar, 7 Cabaret, 12 Madness, 13 Ravioli, 15 Currant, 16 Dorset, 17 Ceres, 19 Aztec, 21 Seal.

T E C L A A F A P U S V N A D

C MR GF Z ON Z L V OX T J H T S A F B X A R P D A R R MB B I WO R I A A T Z N V N MN R T L A UT A OT P J U K S MGN L B T QP K P OI B QE A HI CA V T A E V P A N A R A S WH P R OF OX A S E C Z OK F DUA N UF Z DCV GS Soduko

16. saxofon, 17. flauta, 18. trompeta, 19. clarin, 20. pandareta a. bugle, b. key, c. guitar, d. string, e. stick, f. violin, g. tambourine, h. harmonica, i. bow,

GF L X GY P ROA UO NL I J L Z P T QE Y G A HCNB U K N WI WI OUOL V T A CGOI A RJ K I OR CA E V P R DA RE T A OGN A MG J E CL V H A QA K K Z B US GY I Span - Eng

j. harp, k. trumpet, l. organ, m. handle, n. double bass, o. drum, p. flute, q. bass, r. saxophone, s. bagpipes, t. cello.

Answers: 1h, 2b, 3q, 4s, 5o, 6i, 7e, 8m, 9f, 10n, 11t, 12j, 13c, 14d, 15l, 16r, 17p, 18k, 19a, 20g.

1. armonica, 2. tecla, 3. bajo, 4. gaita, 5. tambor, 6. arco, 7. vara, 8. mango, 9. violin, 10. contrabajo, 11. violoncelo, 12. arpa, 13. guitarra, 14. cuerda, 15. organo,

ARCO

MANGO

ARMONICA

OGANO

ARPA

PANDARETA

BAJO

SAXOFON

CLARIN

TAMBOR

CONTRABAJO

TECLA

CUERDA

TROMPETA

FLAUTA

VARA

GAITA

VIOLIN

GUITARRA

VIOLONCELO

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, September 23, 2011

Horoscopes

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 You are at a 34.657% chance of electrical problems in your home as a Neptunian Moon attempts to attack you with an electrical calamity of medium potential. Go nowhere without a torch and a flask filled no higher than the maximum level of a hot beverage of your choice.

Will my lover leave his wife?

Good morning Rose I AM in love with my boss!!!!

Yes, that old cliche. He is married and has two children but tells me he loves me and that he will leave his wife when they are older. They are now pre teens.

He treats me like a lady and makes me feel so special. We go away for "have it away week-ends" and he buys me lovely presents. I am accepted by his friends but wonder how long it will be before his wife finds out - if she doesn't already know!

He is a bit older than me, 16 years in fact, but he is gorgeous. Do you think I am wasting my time or should I just make the most of what I have and live for the day?

Yours sincerely TRACEY, VILLAMARTIN

l

Dear Tracey. Thank you for your letter.

Your problem is unfortunately very common.

This is not to say that it lessens it in any way.

You must be feeling very confused and constantly worried about your boss’s wife discovering your affair.

You say that your lover will leave his wife when the children are older but that does not help you now.

My best advice to you although you may not like it - is to tell your man that until he does so, you will have to stop seeing him as you know what you are doing is not right.

I know that this may sound harsh but if he truly loves you, he will respect your wishes and will have to make a decision. I hope this will help in some way and wish you all the best.

Rocking on the swing Dear Rose WE have been living in Spain for just over a year in a small urbanisation.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Your ability to make things move with your mind will grow strongly this month, at first this new power will be unbeknownst to you.

You will make things fall off shelves, off seats in cars that drive past you, in offices adjacent to you. A rain shower after 5pm on the 25th should be openly laughed at at length.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 It's like you have been jogging up and down on this piece of ground for ages, never making any progress - you are starting to feel disheartened, disheveled, in need of a good hard frisking (in the airport security sense)...

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Minefields, shark infested waters and tea parties for the over 70's are areas in which your luck is favourable - as long as you don't push your luck to the 'nth degree'. Your chart does not say what the nth degree actually is, sorry, but we would probably suggest to avoid people with the letter n in their names to be on the safe side.

We like most of our neighbours and often meet socially in each others homes.

Last week we invited a group for a barbeque and after everyone had enjoyed a few bevvies one of the men asked my husband if he had ever been to a ‘swingers’ evening . My husband was quite taken aback but said that he hadn’t. The friend then asked him if we would like to go with them next week. My husband seems to be quite excited about the idea but I am not so sure. What do you think?

CAROLINE LOS BALZARES. Dear Caroline. What an interesting question?

After much thought the advice I am going to give is – don’t go.

No good will come of this evening’s pleasure.

If either you or your husband find excitement with a different partner, it will only mean unhappiness for the other.

l

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es Think very carefully explain our delicate finanbefore accepting this cial situation?

PAULINE, invitation.

Instead, PLAYA FLAMENCA. spend the evening over Dear Pauline. I can a lovely romantic meal understand your for just the two of you. predicament exactly.

On the one hand I am sure that you would like to go. But on the other it would be a huge expense. I think that Dear Rose you will just have to WE are both pensioners excuse yourselves by living out our lives here in using the rescue dogs the sun. We get by but as a very genuine reacertainly are not loaded. son. You can explain Recently we have been that they have only sent an invitation to a recently spent three friend’s daughters wed- months in kennels and ding - and although it that you could not poswould be nice to go, we sibly put them through really cannot afford it - this ordeal again so after homing when you consider the soon fares, outfits and pres- them. I am sure that your friends will underents.

We also have two res- stand this. cue dogs, which we would Send over a nice unusuhave to consider making al Spanish gift to the arrangements for while young couple and I'm we are away. How can I sure that all will be forrefuse without having to given.

l

Counting the Costa

Leo July 23 - August 22 You can sometimes scare people with your special powers and you must learn to control this. Not that you have any special powers, it's just that the people you scare are very gullible. Try not to make quick stabbing motions with your arms especially with your fingers pointing outwards.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 You will become concerned with a liberal idea that comes into your head around the 27th. The way you deal with this thought will depend on a citrus-fruit based prejudice gained in your youth. Mauve is your favoured colour, especially when seen in a cape.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Your typically undecided Libran persona will make a trip to a restaurant a much longer experience than would normally be expected. Try to brush up on your Italian for weeks before trying to order from an Italian menu, and never believe a word the waiter is saying.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 You will be affected by a high-finance arbitrage swap-trade involving sheep and corn this month which will prove either highly lucrative or hellishly noisy. Take care to eat up all your greens. Beware the sound: drip drip drip until dusk on the 24th.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Beware red, orange and yellow cars, but embrace blue cars in all of their forms. Inauto air fresheners, especially alpine ones, are particularly well starred until the 26th after which problems may occur. This month your destiny wears nothing on its feet.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Sieving, draining and stirring are your preferred kitchen based activities this week.

Not keen on spending time in the kitchen?

Well, Jupiter is adamant that you bake something, even if it is only muffins, so any attempts to restrain yourself is futile.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Enjoy sleep in all of its forms this week, from quick cat naps to lay-in to 3 in the afternoon sleep festivals.

Destiny indicates a rough moment or two involving goats that have not been milked for a week.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Extreme cases of argument preparation may even make you talk to yourself, or at least mouth the words and act "all weird like" to passers by or other people sitting next to you on buses or trains. 75% of all strange people will be Pisceans this week.

35

Friday, September 23, 2011

TRELI ON THE TELLY

THE LOWDOWN ON DAYTIME TV

COMBING my way through a local magazine a few weeks ago, I came across somebody complaining about the quality of Spanish daytime television.

The claim was that the schedules seemed to be crammed full of cheap audience-participation shows.

There are, of course, many such beasts roaming around on TV channels in this country, but frankly it isn’t that much different anywhere else. Just check out ITV1 or ITV2, and you’ll see what I mean.

I’ve just spent some time in Greece, where the overall standards are even worse as low-budget programmes are peppered with ad breaks popping up as frequently as mosquito bites on my legs.

I watched a key basketball game featuring a Greek side where a one-minute commercial appeared without warning while the ball was in play. The profanity that exploded in the bar was a dream for students of colloquial phraseology in the Mediterranean!

Back here, though, it can be very easy to be dismissive of Spanish television in general. As with the UK, you have to pick and choose from the schedules what is worth watching, and I think plenty can be found for viewers who choose to access the Spanish channels via the TDT terrestrial digital system or on Digital Plus via satellite.

The five TVE channels are of a high standard, and have the big bonus of being commercial free. The newscasts and

with ALEX TRELINSKI

weather bulletins are comprehensive, and there is also a movies, which have sponsor logos cluttering the screen or an rolling service on ‘24 Horas‘. One of my favourite shows is ad break five minutes into the programme.

‘Espana Direct’ on La Una, which reminds me very much of One of the worst examples is La Liga football coverage on the old BBC show Nationwide. It features an impresLa Sexta, where you can barely see the sive series of reports from around action on a Saturday night for beer and the country, which really gives you car hire ads streaming around the a great flavour of Spanish life. screen at an unacceptable level.

This is followed by the magazine, But, on the whole, I like what I get on Gente, and then an hour-long news a number of Spanish TV channels, and bulletin, which is all very impressive I find it sad when many Brits tell me they by any standards for any European don’t watch at all or even have an aerial public-service broadcaster. or equipment to pick programmes up.

Another thing Spanish TV has It’s worth making the effort just to get going for it is its regional and local some weather forecasts and endless services. Where I live, I have access episodes of ‘The Simpsons’ on Antena to programmes for the Valencian 3. and Murcia regions, and as with Try to listen to Homer and Bart TVE, the news coverage is very speaking in Spanish, though of course good. you do have the option of the original Some of the more localised servicsoundtrack. Now, how does “Doh!” es do have a ‘Toytown TV’ look about translate into Spanish? them, but overall it is an impressive Also, if you check out the channels service that makes British TV’s short for overnight naughty fare, you’ll find it bulletins and half-hour regional magcomes from some unlikely sources. azines look very cheap – and, frankly, I just can’t square up some of the quite amateurish and irrelevant at Catholic-run stations having scantilytimes. clothed women offering premium line chats, or ladies The downside is that I find it difficult offering Tarot Card readings. to really get into the national commercial channels.

But I suppose that even the good Lord needs to have his Some of the panel shows are good fun and actually a pretty decent way of improving my Spanish. But most of the coffers swelled at the right time of the day, courtesy of digital evening schedules are littered with imported shows and technology…

MARS NEEDS MOMS PG A YOUNG boy tired of his domestic duties, Milo (performed by Seth Green, voiced by Seth Dusky) has grown to resent his mother (Joan Cusack).

When Martians bent on finding human mothers to help raise their newborns come to Earth and kidnap his parent, Milo is accidentally whisked away on the ship, taken to a subterranean alien kingdom, where cavernous chambers of chrome and shiny surfaces echo some of the best looking science fiction films, including “Star Wars.” Milo finds his way into the lower decks, where trash heaps

them team up; they dodge guards and blasters, they look at holographic maps, and they even use the lower gravity of Mars to their stretch off into the horizon. Harnois), who learned how to advantage. And, of course, Amidst the male Martians, speak English by watching a they talk about love and famfuzzy creatures who speak sitcom featuring hippies. As a ily.

The design of the alien alien gobbledygook, he result, she mixes technotalk nation is quite compelling, meets Gribble (Dan Fogler), with ‘60s lingo, and she with the Martians boasting an Earthling who dresses like spray paints her own form of big eyes and wide hips, a technological trash man, is graffiti. In an effort to save resembling an upside down surrounded by high tech Milo’s mom, the three of tuning fork with hooves, supvideo screens, and talks like a teenager who refuses to This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING grow up. Why he’s there, I MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all over Spain and the UK leave to you to discover. Milo Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel 650 751 072 or email also meets a rebel Martian movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com girl named Ki (Elisabeth CAST: Seth Green, Joan Cusack, Elisabeth Harnois, Dan Fogler DIRECTOR: Simon Wells GENRE: Animation, Comedy RATING: 3.5/5 RUNNING TIME: 88 min.

porting both imposing and endearing facial qualities.

This movie is funny and immensely charming, a technical and artistic achievement.

Director Simon Wells achieving a look that crosses childish whimsy with the cover of a yesteryear pulp magazine. There’s plenty of action, but it doesn’t assault the senses.

“Mars Needs Moms” is, above all, a warm and resonant tale of parents and children, who, with just a

little patience and understanding, can conceivably get along.

36

Friday

23rd Semptember

00:45 This Week 01:35 Drinking Our Rivers Dry? Panorama 02:05 Countryfile 03:05 Food Fighters 03:50 Antiques Road Trip 04:35 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 To Build or Not to Build 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity MasterChef 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Natural Born Hunters 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 17:30 Barney's Latin America 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 Outnumbered 22:30 Would I Lie to You? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Come Fly with Me

00:20 Toughest Place to Be a Paramedic 01:20 Damages 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday

04:30 04:35 05:00 06:00 07:00 07:10 07:20 07:35 07:45 08:00 08:30 08:40 08:45 08:55 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:05 10:15 10:35 10:45 11:05 11:20 11:45 12:05 12:35 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30

Asia Business Report Close IT in the Workplace Class Clips Little Robots Guess with Jess Pinky Dinky Doo Little Charley Bear Rastamouse Safari 8 Trust Me I'm a Genie Leon League of Super Evil Newsround Trapped Green Balloon Scrapbook Dirtgirlworld The Koala Brothers Chuggington: Badge Quest Raa Raa the Noisy Lion Nuzzle & Scratch Get Squiggling!

Zingzillas Waybuloo In the Night Garden The Pink Panther Show Daily Politics GMT with George Alagiah Diagnosis Murder To Buy or Not to Buy Animal 24:7 Weakest Link Real Rescues Flog It! Antiques Road Trip Eggheads Reel History of Britain Highlands on Film Coast Gardeners' World Digging for Britain QI Newsnight

00:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:05 71 Degrees North 02:00 The Zone 04:00 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:15 Live Rugby World Cup 12:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Love Your Garden 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 DCI Banks 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Four of a Kind

NIGEL SLATERS SIMPLE COOKING

The food writer provides everyday cooking advice, demonstrating recipes that are uncomplicated and easy to remember. In the first edition, he prepares five sweet and sour dishes, including pork chops with gooseberry and rhubarb with caramel sauce, before meeting two friends who make oriental lemongrass and sea bass parcels served with a pineapple dip.

00:05 Seven Dwarves 01:05 The Film Show 01:40 The Album Chart Show 01:55 Hollyoaks Music Show 02:20 Embarrassing Bodies 03:15 Gypsy Eviction - The Fight for Dale Farm: Dispatches 04:05 Brothers & Sisters 04:50 Smallville 05:35 Countdown 06:20 Cookery School 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Supernanny USA 10:55 Supersize vs Superskinny 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 4thought.tv 20:35 Father Ted: Comedy Classic 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Meals in Moments 05:05 Nick's Quest 05:30 Nick's Quest 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 The Family Recipe 16:15 Ice Dreams 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Big Brother: Live Eviction 23:00 The Bachelor

37

Saturday 24th September

00:05 Mrs Brown's Boys 00:35 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:45 Rounders 02:45 Question Time 03:45 Monty Halls' Great Irish Escape 04:45 The Code 05:45 British Olympic Dreams 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Cycling 15:00 Formula 1: The Singapore Grand Prix - Qualifying 17:30 Final Score 18:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:30 Epic Win 19:10 Celebrity MasterChef 20:10 Doctor Who 20:55 The National Lottery: Secret Fortune 21:45 Casualty 22:35 Live at the Apollo 23:05 BBC News; Weather 23:25 Match of the Day

00:00 00:50 01:50 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45

The Review Show Later with Jools Holland Searchers 2.0 HARDtalk BBC News Click Newswatch

05:00 05:30 05:45 07:00 07:10 07:20 07:35 07:45 08:00 08:30 08:55 09:05 09:35 10:00 11:00 11:25 11:40 12:00 12:15 Lab 12:40 13:00 13:30 15:05 17:10 18:10 20:15 20:45 21:15 Brave 22:15 23:00

BBC News British Olympic Dreams Close Little Robots Guess with Jess The Pingu Show Little Charley Bear Rastamouse Roar Arthur Dennis and Gnasher Hounded Splatalot Live 'n' Deadly Who Let the Dogs Out? League of Super Evil Wolverine and the X-Men Eliot Kid Richard Hammond's Blast MOTD Kickabout Homes Under the Hammer Rampage Krakatoa, East of Java Escape to the Country Match of the Day Live Flog It! Dad's Army The 1951 Festival of Britain: New World QI XL Calendar Girls

00:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:05 Smugglers 02:00 The Zone 02:00 ITV News Headlines 04:15 Assassins 07:00 Live Rugby World Cup 10:10 Live Rugby World Cup 13:00 ITV News and Weather 13:04 Meridian Weather 13:05 Coronation Street 15:50 The X Factor 16:50 People Do the Funniest Things Abroad 17:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 18:35 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 New You've Been Framed!

20:00 All Star Family Fortunes 21:00 The X Factor 22:15 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:15 American Gangster

CALENDAR GIRLS

Comedy drama based on a true story, starring Helen Mirren and Julie Walters. Chris and Annie are best friends and members of the local Women's Institute in Knapely, Yorkshire. When Annie's husband dies from leukaemia, Chris suggests they and their fellow WI colleagues raise money for the local hospital by posing nude for a calendar. The media interest that follows leads to the project becoming a worldwide sensation.

00:05 Jack Whitehall: My Funniest Year 02:05 The Crush 03:00 My Name Is Earl 03:25 Without a Trace 04:10 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 04:55 Smallville 05:40 Countdown 06:25 Cookery School 07:20 Sali Mali 07:25 The Treacle People 07:35 The Film Show 08:05 MSA Formula Ford Championship 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Example & Wretch 32's Beat Stacking 50 10:55 Smallville 11:50 The Simpsons 12:20 Made in Chelsea 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:10 4thought.tv 20:15 Dambusters: Building the Bouncing Bomb 22:15 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:50 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut

00:00 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 00:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 The Gadget Show 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:25 County Secrets 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Elmo's World 08:05 The Save-Ums! 08:20 Noddy in Toyland 08:35 Hana's Helpline 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 Pawn Stars 11:40 The Gadget Show 12:40 Big Brother: The Eviction 13:40 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 14:10 Royal Navy: Submarine Mission 15:05 The Bridge at Remagen 17:25 The Stand at Apache River 19:00 Zulu Dawn 21:10 5 News Weekend 21:15 NCIS 22:15 Big Brother 23:15 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

38

Sunday 25th September 00:50 The Football League Show 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 02:30 British Olympic Dreams 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 On the Road with the Chief Executive of Battersea Dogs and Cats Home 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 The Politics Show 13:10 Formula 1: The Singapore Grand Prix - Live 16:30 A Question of Sport 17:00 Deadly 60 on a Mission 17:30 Planet Dinosaur 18:00 Songs of Praise - 50 Amazing Years 18:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:00 Nature's Miracle Babies 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Spooks 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 My Favourite Joke 23:55 Outnumbered

00:45 Calendar Girls: 10 Years On 01:45 Drop Dead Gorgeous 03:15 Later with Jools Holland 04:20 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Little Charley Bear 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 Eliot Kid 08:45 Athletics 11:45 Something for the Weekend 13:15 The Great British Bake Off 14:15 EastEnders 16:10 Cycling 18:00 Rugby League 19:00 Dragons' Den: How to Win in the Den 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 A South American Journey with Jonathan Dimbleby 22:00 Fry's Planet Word 23:00 Match of the Day 2 23:50 Mock the Week

00:15 ITV News and Weather 00:29 Meridian Weather 00:30 American Gangster 02:20 The Zone 02:21 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Live Rugby World Cup 06:30 Live Rugby World Cup 09:00 Live Rugby World Cup 12:00 ITV News and Weather 12:14 Meridian Weather 12:15 Thunderbirds 13:55 The X Factor 15:10 Midsomer Murders 16:45 Downton Abbey 18:15 Rugby World Cup Highlights 19:00 Meridian News and Weather 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 Holding Out for a Hero 20:30 The X Factor 22:00 Downton Abbey 23:15 That Sunday Night Show 23:45 ITV News and Weather 23:59 Meridian Weather

MRS DOUBTFIRE A struggling actor's ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce.

Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

00:40 01:35 03:40 03:45 03:50 04:35 05:20 06:05 06:50 07:35 07:45 08:10 09:00 09:45 10:00 12:30 12:50 13:25 14:00 16:05 16:40 17:15 18:15 19:15 19:45 19:50 22:00 23:00

Rude Tube Straw Dogs Lucky Escape Enough Without a Trace Without a Trace Smallville Smallville Countdown The Treacle People The Hoobs UK School Games 2011 One Tree Hill Battlefront Hollyoaks Ibiza Rocks The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory One Fine Day The Simpsons The Simpsons Deal or No Deal Best of British Channel 4 News 4thought.tv X-Men Origins: Wolverine Fighting on the Front Line Predator

00:10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:05 SuperCasino 05:05 The FBI Files 05:55 Meals in Moments 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Elmo's World 08:05 The Save-Ums! 08:20 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Hana's Helpline 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 Meerkat Manor 11:20 The Beat Goes On 12:20 Big Brother 13:20 The Bachelor 14:20 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London 16:10 The Princess Bride 18:05 Mrs Doubtfire 20:30 5 News Weekend 20:35 Warship 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 From Hell

39

Monday

26th September 00:25 Ask Rhod Gilbert 01:00 The Lonely Guy 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 Dragons' Den 03:30 Holby City 04:30 Antiques Road Trip 05:15 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 To Build or Not to Build 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity MasterChef 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Natural Born Hunters 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Syria: Inside the Secret Revolution - Panorama 22:00 The Queen's Palaces 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:20 01:55 02:00 02:30 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

New Jack City Reporters Newsday Reporters Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

05:00 BBC News 05:10 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Little Charley Bear 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Safari 8 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 League of Super Evil 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Green Balloon Goes on Holiday 09:55 Dirtgirlworld 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:40 Nuzzle & Scratch 11:00 Get Squiggling!

11:15 Zingzillas 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 Daily Politics Conference Special 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Reel History of Britain 20:00 Coast 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Home Cooking Made Easy 22:00 Dragons' Den 23:00 Have I Got Old News for You 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:00 Missing Millions 01:00 Premiership Rugby Union 01:55 The Zone 01:55 ITV News Headlines 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 08:15 Live Rugby World Cup 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 15:59 Meridian Weather 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little England 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Doc Martin 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Exposure: Gaddafi and the IRA

RUDE TUBE Kicking the series off is an episode devoted to the internet's 50 greatest video mash-ups. It's a global phenomenon born and raised on the internet and the rules of the game are simple. Take something cherished and loved, chop it up, change it, move bits around, add things, even replace the audio with the sound of a pig playing the kazoo - do what you like, as long as you make it funnier.

01:00 Dylan Moran: Aim Low 02:00 American Football Live 05:45 MSA Formula Ford Championship 06:15 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Ultimate Frisbee 06:20 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Sheepdog 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Supernanny USA 10:55 Supersize vs Superskinny 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 13:35 The Secret Supper Club 14:05 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'The Sharp End' 21:00 The Wonderful World of Tony Blair: Dispatches 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Rude Tube

01:25 Jack the Ripper - The Definitive Story 02:20 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Great Scientists 05:40 Divine Designs 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 The Family Recipe 16:15 Love Takes Wing 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Jack the Ripper - The Definitive Story 23:00 Big Brother

40

Tuesday

27th September 00:05 Spooks 01:05 White Mischief 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 The Great British Bake Off 03:55 The Body Farm 04:55 Antiques Road Trip 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 To Build or Not to Build 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity MasterChef 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Natural Born Hunters 16:05 The Owl 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 Hotel Trubble 17:30 Blue Peter 17:30 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Body Farm 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Hedge Wars

00:20 00:50 01:50 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

Today at Conference Fry's Planet Word Damages Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today E20

05:30 Class Clips 06:30 Just So Darwin 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Little Charley Bear 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Safari 8 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 League of Super Evil 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Green Balloon Goes on Holiday 09:55 Dirtgirlworld 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:45 Nuzzle & Scratch 11:05 Get Squiggling!

11:20 Zingzillas 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics Conference Special 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:40 Coast 15:00 Daily Politics Conference Special 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Reel History of Britain 20:00 Dragons' Den 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 Hairy Bikers Meals on Wheels 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:05 That Sunday Night Show 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Champions League Weekly 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 15:59 Meridian Weather 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Mayday Mayday 21:00 Missing Millions 22:00 71 Degrees North 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 DCI Banks

71 DEGREES NORTH

Former footballer John Barnes and journalist Richard Arnold arrive in the Arctic to take the places of two celebrities who left the expedition early.

Paddy McGuinness and Charlotte Jackson set a challenge in which the losing team spends the night in snow graves, the most basic form of mountain survival, and one of the contestants faces her fears with a night under the stars in a snowstorm.

00:05 Fresh Meat 00:55 4thought.tv 01:00 Incendiary 02:45 David Blaine's Street Magic 03:40 The Curse of the Hope Diamond 04:35 Atlantic Convoys: The War at Sea 05:30 Smallville 06:15 Cookery School 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Supernanny USA 10:55 Supersize vs Superskinny 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 13:40 River Cottage Bites 13:55 Shane 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 C4 Presents - Liz Johnson 21:00 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 22:00 Seven Dwarves 23:00 Shameless

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Extraordinary People: The World's Strongest Toddler 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 Grey's Anatomy 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 Falling in Love with the Girl Next Door 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Real Food Family Cook Off 21:00 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 Big Brother

41

Wednesday 28th September

00:15 What's the Point of Religion?

00:45 The Best of Times 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 Village SOS 03:30 Food Fighters 04:15 Antiques Road Trip 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 To Build or Not to Build 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity MasterChef 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Natural Born Hunters 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 Hotel Trubble 17:30 Serious Explorers: Sir Walter Raleigh 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 Planet Dinosaur 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Ask Rhod Gilbert

00:20 Today at Conference 00:50 A South American Journey with Jonathan Dimbleby 01:50 Damages 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today

05:00 Inside the Human Body 06:00 Wonders of the Universe 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Little Charley Bear 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Safari 8 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 League of Super Evil 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Green Balloon Goes on Holiday 09:55 Dirtgirlworld 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:45 Nuzzle & Scratch 11:05 Get Squiggling!

11:20 Zingzillas 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics Conference Special 14:00 See Hear 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Reel History of Britain 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 Natural World 22:00 Dragons' Den: How to Win in the Den 23:00 Shooting Stars 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:20 Billy Connolly's Route 66 02:15 The Zone 04:15 Crossing Jordan 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 15:59 Meridian Weather 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:50 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

ULTIMATE EMERGENCY BIKERS New series. Highlights from the documentary series, providing an insight into the work of paramedic bikers and the police bike squads.

Specially fitted motorcycles and vest-mounted cameras capture all the action in the field, and behind-the-scenes footage allows access to the teams while off duty or attending extensive training courses.

00:45 True Blood 01:55 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:50 Sailing 03:15 UK School Games 2011 04:10 FIM Superbike World Championship 04:35 The Grid 05:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 05:25 Beach Volleyball 06:15 Cookery School 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Supernanny USA 10:55 Supersize vs Superskinny 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Four in a Bed 13:35 C4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'The Sharp End' 13:40 The Magnificent Seven 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Fresh Meat 23:55 Shameless

00:00 The Woods 01:45 Inside Hollywood 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 Brian Sewell's Grand Tour 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Milkshake! Music Box 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Cries in the Dark 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 New Highland Emergency 21:00 Ultimate Emergency Bikers 22:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 23:00 Big Brother

42

Thursday 29th September

00:20 01:55 02:00 02:30 03:30 04:00 05:00 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:45 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 Lab 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

Outrageous Fortune Weatherview See Hear Watchdog Bang Goes the Theory Village SOS Newsday Drinking Our Rivers Dry? BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Helicopter Heroes Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather To Build or Not to Build Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Celebrity MasterChef BBC News; Weather; Natural Born Hunters Wingin' It Copycats Richard Hammond's Blast Newsround Pointless BBC News Regional News Programmes The One Show EastEnders Watchdog Outnumbered Would I Lie to You? BBC News Regional News and Weather Question Time

00:20 Today at Conference 00:50 Toughest Place to Be a Bus Driver 01:50 Damages 02:35 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Schools: Class Clips: Construction and the Built Environment Diploma - Design

06:00 Class Clips - Construction and the Built Environment: Value and Use 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Little Charley Bear 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Safari 8 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 League of Super Evil 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Green Balloon Goes on Holiday 09:55 Dirtgirlworld 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:45 Nuzzle & Scratch 11:05 Get Squiggling!

11:20 Zingzillas 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Reel History of Britain 20:00 If Walls Could Talk: The History of the Home 21:00 The Marvellous Mrs Beeton, with Sophie Dahl 22:00 Shirley 23:10 Mock the Week 23:40 Newsnight

00:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:05 Goodwood Revival 2011 02:00 The Zone 04:00 Gorillas in the Mist 06:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 15:59 Meridian Weather 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Death of the High Street: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Billy Connolly's Route 66 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

RAMSAYS KITCHEN NIGHTMARES USA The chef heads to Eagle Rock in California to try to change the fortunes of Capri, a grubby restaurant which often remains closed during lunchtime because of the twin owners' lazy attitude. A crisis ensues as soon as Gordon Ramsay instructs the duo to clean the place, revealing that only tough measures are likely to save the business.

01:35 On Track 02:05 4Play: Ghostpoet 02:20 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 02:35 Courage under Fire 04:30 Accidentally on Purpose 04:55 Smallville 05:40 Countdown 06:25 Cookery School 07:20 Sali Mali 07:25 The Treacle People 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Supernanny USA 10:55 Supersize vs Superskinny 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 14:05 Rio Grande 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 C4 Presents - Jonnie Peacock 21:00 Country House Rescue 22:00 Educating Essex 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

00:00 Banged Up Abroad 01:00 Poker: The Big Game 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 Brian Sewell's Grand Tour 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Loving Evangeline 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:10 Big Brother

Friday, September 23, 2011

43

44

Friday, September 23, 2011 Complete Clothes Shop for Sale inc. rails, hangers, bins, price guns.

12,000 pieces of mixed childrens, ladies and mens wear. Ideal for market traders. Bargain price of 7,000 €. Call now on 651 885 200.

ACCOMODATION Pensión La Oficina (The Black Bull)situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35 € per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations.

ACCOUNTANTS Bogged down in paperwork? Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and indi-

AWNINGS

BOATS viduals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.

ALARMS Protect your home with PROSEGUR Alarm Systems. Don’t have just any alarm ringing out to no one - get connected to the professionals.

Immediate connection to the police via our 24/7 control centre, with video surveillance included.

Don’t wait until it´s too late. For a free quote call 966 923 963

sites 14,900 euros 250 euros per week NETT guaranteed, machines and sites available individually. 965 326 442 / 659 696 455 (09) Bar for sale. Quesada area. Going cheap. For information pack, email: .

Tel: 688 800 960 (40)

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

AIR CONDITIONING

10 cold drinks /snack vending machines with sites 44,900 euros.

Excellent cash income, no overhead, operate from home 31,000 euros NETT per year one day p.w. to service.25 Pringle vending machines with

Storage available with trailer from 20 euro month a month, safe, secure, further details Tel 666 526 396 Los Montesinos (33) BOATING LICENSES ARE NOW A LEGAL REQUIREMENT IN SPAIN Serenity Sailing RYA Training Centre, Competent Crew to Yachtmaster, VHF & ICC Own boat tuition on sail and power. If you have a yacht or powerboat get qualified and certified Contact Richard 0034 638 056 224 enquiries@serenitysailing.com/www.serenitysailing.com

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am.

Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009SG/A

HAIRDRESSER English mobile hairdresser. 20 years experience.

Prices from 6 euros.

Almoradi, Algorfa, Benijofer, Rojales,

LOCKSMITH

COMPUTERS

Quesada, Guardamar, San Luis, Torrevieja areas. Call Jeri on 966 318 550 / 698 257 200.

(30)

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.co m or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and

PAVING REMOVALS

FURNITURE

CARPENTER

SECURITY

45

Friday, September 23, 2011 Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 70, Superb 3 bedroom detached villa set on a large plot in San Luis. The Property is close to the Habaneras Shopping Centre, Aquapark and other amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul).

The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 33, A lovely large 2 bedroom, ground floor apartment within walking distance to the beach.

Large lounge, 1 double bedroom and 1 twin bedroom on a gated commu-

nity. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed groundfloor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis. The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 House for sale. Santiago de la Ribera, 3-4 bedrooms, lovely garden, two balconies, two fireplaces, quiet neighbourhood, five minutes walk to beach.

Tel: 616 596 647 or 672 192 482 (22).

Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation,

directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath mid terraced Altomar 1, views of Alicante Bay, close to communal pool, walking distance to bars and resturants opportunity at reduced price 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Quesada, detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bath, all large rooms, front enclosed conservatory, fully furnished, oiled fuelled heating, outdoor poolside kitchen and bbq area enclosed, large pool, outside toilet, garage for 2 cars, newly refurbished, established garden with fruit trees, set in a cul de sac on 1000m2, the overall plot can be divided, as

registered as two plots, so this house could be a substantial investment opportunity, situated in the Dona pepe area close to Quesada town centre, priced 255,000 negotiable Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in

Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. mCall: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €198,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace.

This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three

bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, accident claims, legalise land. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor.

TUITION LEARN EFT. Cousin to acupuncture, no needles, tap with fingers. Helps pain, anxiety, illness, phobias, smoking etc.

AAMET approved courses and Trainer Marie Holliday. www.eftspain .com eftspain@yahoo .com 673 976 313. (29)

PROPERTIES REQUIRED WANTED SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

PLUMBERS

SURVEYS

NEWS AGENTS

PETS

LOCKSMITH

46

Friday, September 23, 2011

A-Z QUESTION OF SPORT Pit your wits against our resident football mastermind in our new killer A-Z Quiz - with the odd dash thrown in concerning flags, railways, inhospitable islands, cricket, Olympics, childhood complaints, Mafia strongholds, reggae and, ahem, nuns...

WHICH AA emerged from relative obscurity to dazzle fans at Euro 2008 - heading West shortly afterwards for around £20m?

WHICH H club refused to play in the Italian league during the Yugoslav wartime occupation, the players “splitting” to join Tito’s partisans instead?

WHICH B - a name born to win applause - captained Chile from between the sticks in all four of their World Cup 2010 games?

WHICH I Euro Premier League ends its season next weekend with the title race between IBV and KR? WHICH J is the only Scotland player ever to score in three World Cup finals?

WHICH brilliant K started off life as Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite?

WHICH Q scored 21 goals for the Republic of Ireland in a 16-year international career?

WHICH R, echoing an illness associated with child poverty, has been Jamaica’s Reggae Boyz keeper since 1998?

WHICH S trails only Pippo Inzhagi and Raul as the thirdhighest scorer in the history of European club competition?

WHICH is the only African nation beginning with T never to have reached the World Cup finals?

WHICH fairytale city beginning with C was the unlikely setting for murderous riots before the 2000 UEFA Cup final?

A PLAYER from which team beginning with U bagged the first-ever World Cup finals hat-trick?

WHICH European capital’s five Premier League clubs included Sporting Fingal until it went buat in the summer?

WHICH L is the manager of new Premier League team Norwich?

BAR is the shortest club name and town in any of UEFA’s 53 Premier Leagues. In which M is it?

WHICH N from the English Conference suggests an untouched meal?

WHICH O, a Danish club currently in the Europa League group stage, started off as a CRICKET club?

WHICH P is a Serie A club based in Sicily?

WHAT E is the extraordinary Christian name of livewire Zimbabwe national goalie Murambadora?

WHICH two rival Vs are smallish capital cities of the Euro 2012 Group I? WHICH W were relegated from the Football League after 87 consecutive years two years ago?

ONLY two nations with a flag based on an X design have ever appeared in the World Cup finals - Scotland and who else?

WHICH Y scored two brilliant goals in Manchester United’s 8-2 demolition of Arsenal this month?

WHICH Z got six of his seven Argentine caps at the Beijing Olympics, joining Man City from Espanyol a week after winning Gold?

Andrei Arshavin; Claudio Bravo; Copenhagen; Dublin; Energy; Forres Mechanics; the Ginger Ninja; Hajduk Split; Iceland; Joe Jordan; Kaka; Paul Lambert; Montenegro; Nuneaton; Odense; Palermo; Niall Quinn; Donovan Ricketts; Andriy Shevchenko; Tanzania - Togo and Tunisia have; not winners Uruguay, but USA - Bert Pateaude in 1930; Vilnius (Lithuania), Vaduz (Liechtenstein); Wrexham; Jamaica; Ashley Young; Pablo Zabaleta.

WHICH F is a famous Brazilian club one letter away from being either a pink bird or a style of guitar-playing? A: Flamengo WHAT G is the colourful nickname suffered by Paul Scholes for much of his Man Utd career?

ANSWERS

Two-try Alvaro is Orihuela hero

ITV Orihuela RFC’s juveniles and seniors went up to Albacete to play their first set of friendly games - if there is such a thing in rugby.

The juniors gave some of the new players a run out but were beaten 20-12 despite tries by Mathias and Andreas.

In their opening game of a threeway tournament with Albacete and Ingenieros RC de Madrid, the

Orihuela seniors lost to the only try of the game by the hosts.

But they made amends in an open game against Ingenieros – despite going 5-0 down before half-time.

In the second half Orihuela upped

the intensity, counterattacked - and Alvaro scored a great try in the corner after a great break from inside their own 22. Then, with the last play of the match, Alvaro went over again and Danny converted to seal a welldeserved 12-5 win.

The club is training on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday at the Miguel Hernandez University. For details, call Garry on 692 767 242.

Friday, September 23, 2011

LANCS FOR THE MEMORY

47

Our Fred hated Boycott - but he’d have hated this more

HAROLD HEYS REMEMBERS OLD COLLEAGUE FRED TRUEMAN AS LANCASHIRE WIN THE COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 77 YEARS AND ARCH-RIVALS YORKSHIRE ARE RELEGATED

FRED TRUEMAN was the first person I thought of as I watched Lancashire clinch the LV= County Cricket Championship for the first time in 77 years – and Yorkshire were relegated to the second division.

Fiery Fred had two main passions. He loved Yorkshire and especially Yorkshire cricket - and he had a hearty dislike of Geoff Boycott. Oh, and he was never one for spending his own brass down t’ pub.

I knew Fred years ago when a few of us on the sports desk of The People used to share the job of helping him write his weekly column. It was nice steady work. Fred always had a bee in his bonnet about something and the only tricky bit was in suggesting that perhaps, for once, we might resist yet another dig at his most unfavourite Tyke.

He used to bounce into the Manchester

Fred Trueman: A bee in his bonnet

office. “All right, H?” he’d say. “Ok, Fred.

How’s yer mate doin’?” Fred would skid to a halt: “You won’t believe this,” he’d say and that would be that for ten or 20 minutes as he went into full Rant Mode. Every now and again the boss would shout from his office: “H – stop winding Fred up!”

What Trueman would have made of Yorkshire’s relegation and, at the same time, Lancashire’s championship success I hate to think. He would probably have blamed Boycott for both.

However, Fred, God bless him, is long gone and it’s time for all Lancastrians and cricket fans such as myself to raise a glass to a most unlikely championship success, which was only realised in the last few overs of a thrilling season.

Not many folk can remember the last time the Red Rose County won the title outright, back in 1934. Cyril Washbrook was beginning to edge his way into the team and Eddie Paynter was in cracking form. But the last few years of the ’30s was a period of rebuilding and then came the War - and in the late ’40s times were hard again.

Then Surrey were top dogs through the ’50s and so it went on. A lot of near-misses but nothing to show for a great deal of effort.

Lancashire’s top fast bowler of the post war era, Brian Statham, never won the title and a galaxy of stars also failed to edge the county home. Clive Lloyd, Stuart Law, Andrew Flintoff, Muttiah Muralitharan, Wasim Akram, Mike Atherton...and so on.

So it was rather fitting that this season Lancashire have made it with a team of largely local lads, all but two or three of them virtually unknown outside the North-West.

Steven Croft, whose cracking four through point clinched the title against Somerset at Taunton, was a more than useful bat for Blackpool when I first saw him in Northern League action. And Tom Smith did a bit of batting and a bit of bowling for Chorley.

It’s the same with most of the other young lads who have been brought up in the rugged atmosphere and keen competition of

JUST CHAMPION: Lancashire skipper Glen Chapple (left) and coach Peter Moores celebrate

the local leagues.

Going into the last day of the title race, Warwickshire were odds on to win. But Hampshire batted them into the ground at the Rose Bowl and they had to settle for a draw. Lancashire, meanwhile, were finding it difficult to dislodge a stubborn Somerset, who went past 300 runs in their second innings and looked as though they would leave Lanky with a mountain to climb.

Enter Gary Keedy, who ran out Gemaal Hussain with a direct hit from backward point to wrap up the innings. No one was more surprised. “I've not run anyone out in 18 years,” gasped the veteran spinner.

Lancashire were left chasing 211 for victory at about a run a ball. They got off to a flying start as openers Stephen Moore and Paul Horton both hit half centuries and shared an opening stand of 131 inside 17 overs. It was virtually plain sailing after that.

Bolton lad Karl Brown (33 not out) and Croft (40 not out) shared an unbroken 78 inside 12 overs for the third wicket as they

coasted to their tenth win of the season.

Said Croft: "It was a great team effort. It looked a lot of runs to chase down but we always had belief."

Lancashire’s championship was all the more surprising as they didn’t play a single game at Old Trafford because of rebuilding and ground work. Instead, most of their games were staged in Liverpool.

Skipper Glen Chapple was an inspiration to the younger players and was quick to pay tribute to “a real team performance”.

“We have only a small squad but everyone played their part,’’ he said. ‘‘It’s an amazing feeling. The lads were brilliant.”

First prize of more than £500,000 will certainly come in handy for the county side, who have been in deep financial trouble because of complicated development and planning problems at Old Trafford.

One team they won’t have to worry about as they go for the double – old rivals Yorkshire, who will be scrambling around in the Second Division …

DOOLIGHTED TO BE IRISH! FROM BACK PAGE Jon Sexton keeping his head to kick a first-half penalty and a drop goal in a 6-6 first half. Captain Brian O'Driscoll led his back line by example, while the dependable Ronan O'Gara came on in the second half to steady things and secure the result with two penalties of his own.

Yet it was the forwards who built the platform for this victory and last-ditch 'body on the line' defence late on by the likes of Tommy Bowe to keep the Aussies from crossing the whitewash.

England in their second match of the tournament at Dunedin, although not totally convincing, played with much more purpose and imagination against a determined Georgia team who, despite their relatively low ranking, refused to lie down.

At times, they made life extremely difficult for England in the tight and at the breakdown. They had to work hard to

breach Georgia's ferocious defence - but breach it they did, scoring six tries and securing a bonus point to join Scotland at the top of Pool B. And yet it could have been so much different had Georgia's goal-kicker Kvirikashvili not missed five of his six penalty shots at goal.

England were guilty once again of schoolboy errors giving away far too many soft penalties and testing the patience of the referee, who eventually sinned binned Dylan Hartley for repeated infringement at the breakdown.

England eventually ran out 41-10 winners and for a change the back line took all of the plaudits with Hape, Ashton, Armitage and Tuilagi collecting all the tries.

They stay in Dunedin for tomorrow’s (Saturday) clash with Romania and only a marked disciplined performance will do.

DOOLEY ON WALES ALL four home nations are still on track to qualify for the knock out stages after a Shane Williams try secured Wales a 17-10 win over Samoa, who they hadn’t beaten in two previous World Cup encounters.

This Welsh side showed a plenty of character and resilience as the Samoans almost battered them into submission in a first half in which they breached the Welsh try line three times.

Fortunately for Wales, two of those efforts were disallowed - for a fumble and a double movement.

The Samoans led 10-6 at half time but after a

Shane and able mammoth effort running the ball continually at the solid Welsh defence, they began to run out of steam and started to give away penalties which were snapped up by young Rhys Priestland to give Wales the lead.

I love these Welsh backs and they sealed the victory with a lovely jinking

move down the left flank

by Leigh Halfpenny, who evaded three Samoan tackles to offload to Jonathan Davies who in turn linked with veteran Williams to score Wales only try and secure the win.

The Samoans were dead on their feet at the end, having given everything. Two games in four days obviously took its toll - but what a brave effort.

Sam Warburton graciously paid tribute to the Samoans but was full of praise for his team who, had they lost this one, could safely have booked their air tickets home to the valleys.

Friday, September 23, 2011

48

DOOL-ICIOUS It’s great to be Irish (sort of)

JOLLY GREEN GIANTS: Ireland skipper Brian O’Driscoll and big Paul O’Connell after the shock win over Australia

WITH a name like Dooley, you will forgive me for letting a little of my distant Irish ancestry spill out onto the page.

The Wallabies just had no answer to the pressure being put on by the Irish, particularly in the scrummage and at the breakdown.

Last Saturday against Australia, Ireland were bloody marvellous. I sat transfixed on my settee, shouting encouragement at the TV as I watched Paul O'Connell and his forwards slowly grind down the Aussie pack and eventually blow them away.

At times it must have seemed to the Australians that there were 30 Irishmen on the pitch, never mind 15. The Eden Park stadium atmosphere resembled Lansdowne Road, with green everywhere you looked - and seemingly every single person willing the Irish on.

Ireland hadn't beaten the Wallabies in four previous attempts at the World Cup, yet despite their poor recent form they have climbed to sixth in the world rankings after their magnificent and deserved 15-6 win over the Tri-Nations champions.

It’s difficult to pick out individuals as all were immense. It was a true team effort, with young

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