The Courier Edition 35

Edition 35

www.thecourier.es

Friday, October 21, 2011

GADDAFI DEAD

WINTER DRAWS ON

DON’T forget to put your clocks and watches BACK an hour at 3a m on Sunday. Spain, in keeping with most of Europe, follo ws a synchron ised daylight saving time which ends on the last Sunday of October each year.

‘He was shot in both legs and in the head’

LIBYA’s pariah dictator Muammar Gaddafi is dead.

By DONNA GEE

thought to be at large in the desert, having fled Sirte.

NTC spokesman Abdullah Berrassali told Sky News: "Gaddafi is dead, absolutely dead. He was shot in both legs and in the head.

"It looks like he and his close aides tried to flee. The freedom fighters tried to apprehend them but it looks like from the reports, that as a result of the exchange of fire maybe Gaddafi was badly injured.

"I have always said that the priority would be to take Gaddafi alive and put him on a fair, just trial ... but if he resisted arrest there was a great likelihood he would be killed."

OVERJOYED: Anti-Gaddafi In Sirte, a former fishing fighters celebrate village and Gaddafi's hometown, fighters danced and brandished a golden pistol they said they had taken from the 69-year-old ex-leader.

Accounts were hazy of his final hours, which also appeared to have cost the

The ousted tyrant was captured, beaten and shot by revolutionaries in Sirte yesterday.

And the country’s delighted interim prime minister Mahmoud Jibril told a news conference in the capital, Tripoli: ‘’We have been waiting for this moment for a long time.

Muammar Gaddafi has been killed. ‘’I salute you, revolutionaries. You have captured this criminal who has killed the mothers of the martyrs.’’

Former government spokesman Moussa Ibrahim is reported to have been captured, while Gaddafi's son and intended heir Saif is

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A mobile phone camera captures Gaddafi’s dying moments

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Caution, big wheel on run after masked rubbery TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 10037 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Harold Heys Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Picture of the week

96 692 1003

Tourist boats head for Torry salt lake TOURIST boats may soon be sailing on Torrevieja’s salt lake if a proposal currently under consideration gets approval.

The plan already has interest from the Green party, Los Verdes, according to Torrevieja’s ruling PP party.

The company that runs the salt lakes has said it is aware of the plans.

Everyone involved is keen to see that if the idea is floated, it will be a success. They are therefore studying the proposals and implications carefully before taking the plunge.

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THE European Commission on Wednesday declared that two Spanish rail developments, on the Mediterranean and Atlantic coasts, are priority projects within the continental freight and passenger network that Brussels is pursuing.

Both projects will receive co-financing from the EU worth 20% of the total cost for stretches of line within Spain's borders and 40% for cross-border lines.

POLICE in Redovan are appealing to members of the public to help them catch the perpetrators of a series of shocking thefts.

The thieves are stealing cables that supply street lighting and have so far got away with 5,000 metres of the copper wire.

More than 6,000 euros has been forked out from city coffers to replace cables.

The thefts began last August and despite surveillance systems being set up, nobody has been caught.

Police request that anyone seeing anything suspicious should call 698 972 253.

SPAIN’S 2012 work calendar will include NINE bank holidays –one more than this year.

Eight of those days are national bank holidays, to be enjoyed throughout the country, and one a local celebration.

The first will be Friday January 6, followed by Good Friday on April 6, May Day on Tuesday May 1, Wednesday August 15 (Asunción de la Virgen), Friday October 12 (Hispanic Day), Thursday November 1 (All Saints Day), Thursday December 6 (Constitution Day) and Saturday December 8 (Immaculate Conception Day) and Tuesday December 25 (Christmas Day).

As January 1 falls on a Sunday it is not classed as a

national holiday, but January 2 will be a holiday in Andalucía, Aragón, Asturias, Extremadura and Ceuta.

Thursday April 5 will also be a holiday in all the autonomous communities except Catalonia and Valencia.

Monday March 19 will be a holiday in Valencia and Murcia, while Monday April 9 will also be a day off in Valencia and the Balearic Islands.

A debate has started in Spain about whether all bank holidays should be moved to the nearest Monday or Friday, as in the UK and many other countries. The proposal came from Minister of Work Valeriano Gómez, who added that things would only change of a majority agreed to it.

l Affiliations

The Mediterranean line will be 1,300km in length, linking the major port cities together, while the Atlantic artery will connect Portugal to Valladolid and from there to Bayonne in southern France via the Basque Country.

It is expected that the lines will be completed by 2020.

The EU said the projects "placed resources where they are of real added value."

Spain banks on extra day’s holiday Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Monday Cloudy and windy High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 20°C

British hiker, 24, killed in Majorca A 24-YEAR-OLD British hiker has been found dead in the Majorca village of Escorca early on Wednesday.

The discovery at the Torrente de Mortitx came after his companions raised the alarm about his disappearance at around 8.30pm on Tuesday night.

They had looked for him themselves for some three hours without success.

The victim was among a group of five staying in a Can Picafort hoel who were following a route along the river and who got separated.

Emergency crews, from the the Inca and Sóller fire service mountain-rescue team worked overnight and found the body of the British youngster at 4.40am.

First reports indicated that he may have had a fall..

Today Sun and showers High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 17°C

Saturday Sun and showers High Temperature: 21°C RealFeel: 21°C

Sunday Sun and showers High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 21°C

Tuesday Sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 20°C

Wednesday Sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 21°C

Thursday Sun and showers High Temperature: 24°C RealFeel: 22°C

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Friday, October 21, 2011

A BRIDGE TOO FAR FOR MURCIA

By AMANDA BLACK THE streets of Murcia became the scene of fierce fighting on Sunday when rival forces clashed in a bid to take control of the Puente Nuevo (New Bridge).

Smoke filled the air and the sounds of gunfire could be heard across the city. Armoured vehicles trundled the roads.

The dead and injured were left littering the streets.

Of course the action was not real – dead bodies don’t usually get up in order to lie back down in a shadier spot. But the odd Lazarus aside, it certainly looked real.

The Puente Nuevo was actually doubling as the bridge at Arnhem and the battle was a recreation of Operation Market Garden, famously depicted in the film A Bridge Too Far. The event, organised by Madrid-based historical society Codex Belix, saw more than 400 ‘actors’ from 30 associations across Spain descending on Murcia to take the roles of British, German and American soldiers.

Authentic Real Spanish soldiers were also present, as were teams of Guardia Civil, Local Police and Civil Protection.

British, German, Russian and French army encampments were set up in the park, Jardínes del Malecón. And with authentic uniforms and historical vehicles, the scene resembled a film set.

In a touching cross-cultural exchange, Codex Belix invited British veterans to the event as guests of honour.

Members of the Royal British Legion, the Royal Naval Association, the Royal Marines Association and the Royal Air Force Association attended. Three Chelsea Pensioners also flew in especially for the event.

The veterans were treated to a VIP tour of the army encampments and given the honour of a special salute from Spanish Foreign Legion soldiers.

A parade, led by the Torrevieja Pipes and Drums, followed by standard bearers and veterans was watched by thousands.

From Page One lives of senior aides. But top officials of the National Transitional Council, including Abdel Majid Mlegta, said he had died of wounds sustained in clashes.

In London, Prime Minister David Cameron hailed Gaddafi’s death as a step towards a "strong and democratic future" for Libya.

He said he was "proud" of the role Britain played in NATO air strikes to protect Libyan civilians after the uprising against Gaddafi's rule began in February.

And he said it was a time to remember Gaddafi's victims, including those who died when Pan-Am flight 103 was bombed over Lockerbie, WPC Yvonne Fletcher, who was gunned down in a London street - and all those killed by the IRA using Semtex explosives supplied by Libya.

Coppers with a nose for crime uncover wacky-backy farm

BY SALLY BENGTSSON LOCAL police in Pilar de la Horadada were doing the rounds last weekend when the unmistakable aroma of marijuana wafted into their nostrils.

With an unsuspecting youngster nearby proving not to be the source of the scent, the officers started nosing around a nearby greenhouse. There they discovered some 200 wacky backy plants.

The greenhouse is situated just outside Pilar, on the CV925, on the way to Orihuela.

Drug production was well under way, with some plants two metres tall. There was an area for drying the plants and officers found nine kilos of the drug ready for sale.

Police released a statement saying: “We are working hard to locate these types of greenhouses, in which illegal substances are being grown.”

A few months ago another greenhouse was located near Lo Romero Golf Course containing 22 marijuana plants inside.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

A matter of moral conduct

LAST Friday my wife and I were at a free concert, where former Electric Light Orchestra guitarist Dave ScottMorgan and his wife Mandy were giving a concert.

It was an exploration of his life, how at one stage he hit rock bottom and then became a Born Again Christian which transformed his life and gave it a new meaning.

They began playing some old favourites, but, as soon as it turned religious, between a quarter and a third of the 600strong audience walked out over about 15 minutes. The remainder stayed for an enlightening and enjoyable evening, despite the obvious embarrassment.

It's probable that more than half the population of Britain no longer believe in God - but in this rejection comes something extremely serious, which is a rejection of a time-honoured code of moral conduct.

The consequences of this lack of a moral code has been demonstrated so clearly in the recent riots where people showed compete disregard for others and their property.

You may or may not believe that the Ten Commandments and listed Seven Deadly Sins were God-given, but you've got to accept that 2,000 years ago those who wrote it down were pretty clever folk. They set down guidelines which, if

we all lived by them, would make this planet a far better place to be.

Murder, theft, adultery, greed, sloth, lust, envy and gluttony are among the taboos, with the teachings based on charity to one another. And they are just as relevant today as way back then.

Abandoning a moral code is fraught with dangers - and never forget that waiting in the wings and growing ever stronger in the UK are those with different codes, with extremists only too eager to convert in any way they can. So beware!

As for those who walked out while the couple were singing, they were downright rude and demonstrated just

how contemptible they are. Perhaps they only turned up because it was free.

It's sad to hear that the jobsworths are alive and flourishing in Britain.

A father was seen by a security guard in a shopping centre in Scotland taking a picture of his daughter, aged four, eating an ice cream on the back of a scooter.

The guard said it was not permitted to take pictures in the centre and called police. The father was told by the officer that police could confiscate the camera under Anti-Terrorist legislation - but took the father's details and allowed him to keep the camera.

A perfect example of those in uniforms throwing their weight around and going totally over the top over a harmless act.

Thank goodness that the management of the newlyopened shopping mall finally showed sense and altered their policy to allow family members to take pictures of one another in the mall. But the change of heart didn't happen until thousands of people voiced their protests on Facebook and began organising a boycott of the centre. Money talks every time!

THE SCOURGE OF RENTING A HOME

A ring and a prayer ONE of my pet hates, as regular readers will recall, is Spanish roundabouts.

Or rather, the continental drivers who use them.

I just cannot understand the mentality of drivers going on the outside of roundabouts to go half or three quarters of the way around it, and also not indicating their intention to leave the roundabout.

If everyone is supposed to be in the outside lane, what is the point of having an inside lane?

But there is something else which makes Spanish roundabouts more dangerous. And that is central reservations overgrown by bushes and long grass right up to the roundabout edge which destroys drivers' sightlines.

A driver has to edge out with his bonnet two/to three feet into the roundabout to see anything coming.

Dangerous or what?

Councils, sort it out - and while at it, weeding should also include gutters and pavements which are increasingly overgrown.

Just compare Polaris World with the average Spanish street. The difference is amazing.

I'M also often banging on about the state of British hospitals and the lack of care from some staff to patents. It's in the news yet again as a result of another survey.

This time it’s been revealed that in many hospitals, patient care is so appalling that staff and the hospital authorities are actually committing criminal offences.

The survey found cases of patients incapable of feeding themselves being left with food and drink going cold in front of them. So much so they were left hungry and dehydrated; Other patients were left for ages urgently shaking their bed sides, totally ignored by staff. In the worst cases, patients were left in soiled beds and clothing.

How many times are we going to hear of cases like this before something is done?

This is 2011, not 1811 or

1911. It's about time that staff, managers and others right up the gravy train to Trusts and beyond were prosecuted.

Perhaps a few hospital managers at al given a criminal record, sacked and stripped of their pensions might exercise their minds to ensure there are sufficient staff to do the job.

And also to see that they are properly trained in basic care needs and that there are checks in place to ensure no patient is left without proper care.

It's not rocket science to ensure that all patients are properly cared for in hospital. How can anything less be acceptable?

A FEW weeks ago I wrote about the impact investors were having on the buy-to-let market in the UK in buying up properties and forcing up rents.

I was pleased to hear that banks were now restricting buy-to-let mortgage advances because they were short of money.

I hoped this would halt the buying up of properties which, in turn, would reduce the price of homes, bringing them in reach of more buyers.

The charity Shelter has now also highlighted the problem, revealing that private rents are now unaffordable in 55 per cent of local authority areas in the UK. Rents in those districts are more than 35 per cent of average take-home pay and people are having to cut back in heating and food to afford them.

The private rental sector is one which the government should never allow to be a free-for-all. Rents are ridiculously high and they and the value of UK homes need to drop - and drop quickly - to prevent more people having a winter of misery.

But it seems property problems are not just restricted to the UK. We've been on the property hunt over the past fortnight in Spain and have come across communities denied money they need to maintain areas because of mounting bad debts; the unemployed breaking into unoccupied houses and squatting, with the police

apparently taking no action; and the glut of empty homes forcing their value ever lower.

But there seems some light at the end of the tunnel. A spokesman for a removals company based in both Spain and the UK told me there has been a turn-around in fortunes and once again the trend is for people to be moving to Spain rather than the other way round.

Perhaps the high price of property in the UK and low prices here are beginning to change Spain's fortunes. Spain needs it to avoid being the next failed Eurozone country.

THE LAW OF THE BUNGLE

WHEN are we going to get politicians in Britain who don't act like buffoons?

First came the MPs feeding frenzy with crazy and greedy expense claims.

Last week it was MPs around the trough after huge handouts for appearing on the BBC. Next it was the Defence Secretary, stupid enough to have his best mate tagging along on missions overseas in the pay of rich dudes making money on defence contracts.

And finally it’s an MP throwing letters and other files in waste paper bins in a park close to Whitehall.

It's laughable on one level, but frightening on another, when you realise these stupid people are in a position to make serious decisions on behalf of every person in Britain.

If they can't manage their own lives and act in an honest and straightforward way, how on earth can they be trusted with decisions in the nation's interest and get us out of the financial mess the country is in. Heaven help us all!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Debt is putting the pain in Spain’s health service SPAIN’s health service is in crisis. Medical suppliers haven't been paid for up to two years, emergency rooms have been shut down and doctors in Catalonia have been told to accept a pay cut or 1,500 medical residents will lose their jobs.

The country’s treasured public healthcare system has become the latest victim of the euro zone debt crisis.

“We haven’t been paid, but there’s nothing we can do about it. ‘’We need the contracts, so we’re just going to have to wait it out,” said a company representative who did not want his or the firm’s name used for fear of a backlash.

The idea that it is acceptable to order something and pay for it later...much later, appears to have become the norm, leaving thousands of businesses in crisis, unable to pay their workers because they are owed huge amounts of money by local government.

The company, which says it is owed hundreds of millions of euros by the government of the Castilla-La

Mancha region south of Madrid, is one of dozens of providers of everything from surgical swabs to disinfectants struggling to pay workers as Spain’s regions delay payments to meet tight deficit targets.

The debt-burdened autonomous regions’ spending cuts are a tangible sign of the present and future pain as Spain works to meet ambitious deficit-reduction goals pledged to the European Union in the midst of an economic downturn.

Spain’s political parties

have kept their positions on the issue vague ahead of November 20 general election, but even the most passionate defenders of the current system agree there is scope for cost -saving and more efficiency.

Spain’s conservative opposition, the People’s Party (PP), which is expected to win the election, will likely cut into social welfare programmes that the Socialists have left untouched.

But even the Socialists

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LÍNEA DIRECTA’s MEDICAL TREATMENT GUARANTEES QUALITY o With this service, the first of its kind in Spain, each patient saves an average of 2 months and 15 days in his or her treatment. o The treatment is offered free of charge in all policies and covers not only the people travelling in the insured car but also injured third-parties.

At the end of 2004, Línea Directa launched its Full Medical Treatment service, a complete private network of health assistance which guarantees those people injured in traffic accidents complete and immediate health assistance.

The service, the only one of its kind in Spain, is totally free and is available to all people – drivers and occupants – travelling in a car insured by Línea Directa, whether they are to blame for the accident or not, as well as injured third parties. To operate this service, Línea Directa has created an extensive assistance network by means of collaboration agreements with prestigious medical specialists, hospitals, rehabilitation clinics, diagnosis centres and patient transportation services. Línea Directa also offers its customer services entirely in English and German, acting as intermediaries not only with repair garages, but also with medical centres.

Thanks to the speed of all the processes included in this service, which makes it possible to reduce waiting times and

achieve a better and faster recovery, patients save an average of 2 months and 15 days in their treatment which allows them to get back to their personal and professional lives much sooner.

This treatment is offered in conjunction with Línea Directa’s Psychological Attention Plan, which includes professional support both for those people who have been involved in a traffic accident as well as for their closest family members.

You can find out more about all the benefits available at www.lineadirecta.com or by calling 902 123 104.

OUR editorial for The Christmas Shop last week stated that the shop opens on November 8. It actually opened on October 8. We apologise for any inconvenience caused by this error.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Feral cats saved by Fishy business has a whisker

HUNG HO! NOISY all-night parties, vandalism and drunken rowdyism was bad enough.

But Chinese tenants bringing back and gutting a catch of fish in the small hours, then hanging them up to dry, was the last straw for community president John Taylor.

Under the heading ‘Respect’, he emailed every owner at his La Florida patch in Orihuela Costa, listing the problems being caused by renting out properties.

He wrote: ‘‘The majority of problems we have are due to tenants showing

By TONY MAYES no respect to their neighbours. We have community them, simply is not accept- the fish. rules which are often able.’’ ‘‘If this was not bad ignored.

John also hinted there enough, they then hung them ‘‘Noise levels after mid- could be a proposal at the out to dry. You can imagine night is a common problem. next AGM to prohibit tenants the smell and attraction of We have enough trouble with from having pets. ‘‘Longer- insects that this caused.’’ the local bars flouting the term rentals bring pets with Elaborating on the bizarre laws, without rentals joining them, particularly dogs,’’ he tale, John told The Courier: in. added. ‘‘Leaving them all day ‘‘The apartment is occupied ‘‘We know people come causing disturbance and dis- by, I believe, four Chinese away on holiday for a week tress is another problem.’’ people renting from a or two and wish to put the Of the fish saga, he wrote: Chinese owner. drudgery of everyday life ‘‘We have even had a long‘‘The dozen or so fish that behind them. But then, one term rental coming home in were hanging up have now apartment switching off their the early hours after fishing gone (probably eaten) and brains, making life a misery and then spending another up to the present the saga for several people around hour washing and cleaning has not been repeated. But

residents facing up to Chinese torture

CAT scan performed on Phoenician skeleton ARCHAEOLOGISTS complete skeletal working at a dig in remains from ancient Cádiz have used modtimes. ern technology to shed The scan showed that some light on human Valentín was a 1.77 remains found at the metre tall man, quite tall site of the city’s old for that period in history, Teatro Cómico. and was between 25 A three-dimensional and 30 years old when CAT scan was perhe died 2,600 years ago. formed on an ancient He had a birth defect skeleton, which has known as Arnold been given the name of Syndrome, a congenital ‘Valentín’, which was anomaly in the cranium A CAT scan found at the dig in which produces vertigo. at a Madrid 2008, where the His body was not buried hospital remains of a as part of a funeral, but Phoenician city have was found near the been discovered. remains of a burnt out A specially-designed building, five metres polyurethane casing below the ground, face was constructed to prodown, with his left arm tect the fragile remains for removal. above his head.

The procedure was carried out at the The CAT scan also showed a fracture in hospital in Puerto Real, and is understood his left femur and the theory reported by El to be the first to have been performed on País is that he fell from the burning building and was asphyxiated by the smoke before his body was eventually covered over by the sand.

It’s thought that the fire may have been the result of an attack on the area by a group of Greeks and Tartessians. Another skeleton was found nearby which showed signs of violence and is also to be taken for a scan at the hospital.

we are keeping a watch on the situation.’’

And, seeing the funny side of the bizarre tale, he quipped: ‘‘Make no bones about it, they probably were gutted but the scale of the problem should not be ignored.’’

EXPERTS consider that the underwater volcanic eruption just to the south of the Canary Island of El Hierro is losing strength.

But no one is ruling out further problems.

A close evaluation of the conditions will continue until activity drops to the level it was before the series of earthquakes which started in July..

At a press conference held on Wednesday by Carmen López from the National Geographical Institute, and Joan Martí from the High Council for Scientific Investigation, it was explained that the eruption phase is probably ending, and that the island is stabilising.

It was also explained that the released magma would remain on the sea bottom, while the slick which has formed above the site would dissolve.

They considered the environmental impact would be reversed quickly, explaining that the sea recovers far quicker than

By AMANDA BLACK AN emergency cat rescue mission was carried out in Algorfa yesterday (Thursday) when animal charities and campaigners staged a last-minute bid to round up 15 cats threatened with ‘removal’.

The feral cats and kittens, which were being cared for by a local animal lover, were in immediate danger from a nearby resident and rescuers had to work fast.

The woman caring for the cats, Denise, said: “It is illegal to kill cats, but we knew we would not be able to stop it. It is all very well trying to get prosecutions after that fact, but that would not have helped the animals. The cats had to be removed quickly.”

Denise was joined by Joe the Catman and his daughter as well as rescue charity the Brigada Azul. It took the team almost three hours to round up nine of the cats, which have now been taken to a place of safety.

Denise added, “I understand that not everyone likes cats, but I had already caught and sterilised most of the colony to stop any further breeding. They were being looked after and we were doing everything we could to minimise any problems to neighbours.”

“These animals also have a right to life and a space to live in.”

El Hierro eruption losing momentum

land. Local fishermen have described their situation as ‘dramatic’, considering it will take years for stocks to recover.

So far all the activity has remained under water, producing an impressive discoloration of the ocean as tephra and volcanic gases are released from the vents.

It looks like the main fissure might be 2-3 km in

length and is close to the rift axis for the main El Hierro edifice.

Ramon Ortiz, coordinator of a government scientific team, said that if and when the eruption reaches shallower water, they should expect to see the surface water start to steam, followed by explosions of steam and magma and finally the emergence of an island.

Spanish bonds on a downer MOODY'S has downgraded the rating of Spain's government bonds. The ratings agency cut Spain two notches, two days after Standard & Poor's took the same decision.

Moody's said it had cut the rating because there had been no credible resolution to the eurozone debt crisis.

It also said that the debt crisis and difficulties faced by Spanish banks wanting to borrow money meant it had further scaled back its growth forecast for the country.

"Moody's is maintaining a negative outlook on Spain's rating to reflect the downside risks from a potential further escalation of the euro area crisis," the agency said in a statement.

It added that while it

assumed any new government to emerge after elections on 20 November would continue measures to reduce the deficit, it would downgrade Spain further if that turned out not to be the case.Spain's rating was cut from Aa2 to A1 with a negative outlook.

Earlier in the day, Moody's warned that it was considering changing its outlook on France's AAA rating from stable to negative, which knocked European markets.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Red and buried: How Vera Vixen ruined my weekend t week : Donna’s column las WALES OF DELIGHT

DO you ever get the impression that the destiny of something important is being manipulated by an unseen force? Well, I can tell you it’s all down to Vera Vixen.

Last week, I thought I’d have a bit of a change from ripping society apart in this column... and take on the sporting world.

Or, more specifically, expose something that infuriates Welsh, Scots and Irish people - namely the sickening bias of the UK tabloid press towards England.

The Rugby World Cup is a perfect example. As England’s abject losers jetted home in disgrace, Wales were also flying - towards the final. But you’d never have known it from the headlines.

I went on to sing the praises of Wales as they prepared for their semi-final against France - and, as a proud Welsh girl - splashed a big picture of our brilliant captain Sam Warburton across this page.

What happens? Poor Sam becomes the villain of the entire tournament by getting himself sent off less than a quarter of the way into the game!

Wales were leading at the time but with their best player missing, their fate was effectively sealed at the moment the referee flashed that red card in his face.

Sam’s crime was to tackle French player Vincent Clerc in a way that endangered his safety.

A raging debate followed as to whether a red card was the correct punishment, rather than ten minutes in the sin bin.

Most people believe Wales would have won with a full team, which is understandable considering they came within one point without arguably their best player.

Well, I reckon Vera Vixen (you probably call her Lady

IN THE PINK OF OLD AGE

Not a single funny card on my birthday - are my friends all trying to tell me something?

I’M DYING TO TELL YOU THIS PARDON the irreverent morbidity, but I reckon funeral plans are to die for. Both literally and metaphorically.

Let’s face it, one member of every couple will be faced one day with the unthinkable - the death of their partner.

Would you know what to do at that moment particularly if it’s sudden? Who would you call? How would you make the funeral arrangements?

The answer in many cases is ‘‘I have no idea.’’

Well, with these plans (and you can pay them off monthly), one simple phone call takes everything off your hands.

I know it’s a difficult subject to discuss, but I can find humour in any situation. That’s why I put this particular article in a box.

It’s also a fact that without one of these plans, it’s your funeral.

IT was my birthday last week and no, I’m not telling you how old I am.

But judging by the sort of birthday cards I received, my friends (the few I have left after all my moaning) clearly believe I have reached my dotage.

Apparently I am no longer a suitable target for those corny joke cards the ‘younger’ community bounce off each other.

I didnt even get a card making fun of my being old.

You know, the sort that make you seem glam until you get the punchline inside.

On the front, it will say something like ‘’What Do You Like To Get Up To In Bed, Sexy Lady?’ Then, when you turn inside, there’s an old dear in a flannelette nightie sitting on the loo saying ‘I Always Get Up To Do a Wee.’ That one’s dreadful because I made it up. But you know what I mean.

Anyway, virtually every card I received was one of those schmaltzy affairs you send to great-grandma on her 97th birthday.

I’m talking about the pink ones covered with pretty

Another year older... but why don’t I get humorous cards any more?

flowers and the message To a Dear Friend.

Admittedly, I automatically orientate to this type of card for my 83-year-old stepmother - but with good reason. She gets the pink schmaltz treatment because she has no sense of humour – or sense of anything, for that matter.

Anyway, this plethora of pinko cards all but convinced me that my friends had made a pact to tell me subtly that, in their eyes, I am now officially OLD. The fact is I love funny cards…and always have done. Providing they are not too crude, that is.

I might be a boring old drone to some, but no one can say I don’t have a sense of humour. So I assume the reason no one sent me a card I could laugh at is that the entire planet now sees me as a coffin dodger.

I scoured the cards for even the slightest hint of humour and the nearest I could get to a giggle was one bearing the message ‘Especially For You…’’. Well, Who else would it be for, tonto?

That’s me off everyone’s Christmas card list. Now where did I put my Zimmer frame?

A shipwreck with bounty COURIER reader Barry Alexander and his friends were among friends who lost out on a week-long Mediterranean holiday recently when the cruise company went bust just before departure.

Well, he called me this week to say that all the passengers have received a full refund.

Makes a change from ships going down with all hands...on the public’s money.

Luck) orchestrated it all from the moment the teams took the field.

The bitch even contrived to make our players miss a couple of easy kicks, any one of which would have won the game.

One penalty attempt would normally have sailed through the posts...but kicker James Hook slipped at the moment his foot made contact with the ball.

And to rub it in, Vera the Steerer manipulated the conversion of Mike Phillips’ try (the only one of the match) so that it hit the post.

If any one of those kicks had been successful, Wales would be playing in the Final against New Zealand tomorrow.

How can you blame Warburton for Clerc’s feet staying up in the air? I reckon it was Vera the Leerer wanting to get a better look at him.

I hope you enjoyed the view, spoilsport.

As for me, I hate Frog’s legs even more now.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

9

10

Friday, October 21, 2011

Oh Calamity! My Doris day of woe AMONG my treasured childhood souvenirs is a 1951 soccer annual which I stole from my brother in 1952.

But my most prized possession is -- or to be more precise, was -- a letter sent to me by Doris Day in response to a fan letter I sent to her.

The missive from Ms Day read: 'Dear David, it is always a pleasure to hear from my young British friends.

'I wish you every success in your endeavours and hope that you, too, will find success in life. Kind regards, Doris.

'P.S. It is very warm here in Hollywood. I hope it is warm where you are.'

Warm? Blimey, it was freezing cold where I was -- a draughty terraced house in a cobbled street in murky Manchester.

But my 12-year-old pumping heart was positively on fire the morning I picked up Doris's letter from the hall mat.

I must have read the thing a hundred times before bolting down my breakfast and belting round to my pal Eric's house.

'Guess who's written to me!' I yelled through the letter box.

Eric, still in his pyjamas, opened the front door and yawned. 'Not flaming Doris Day again.'

'Again?' I asked puzzled. 'But she's never written to me before.'

Eric yawned a second time. 'No, I meant again in the context of you going on about her again . . . and again.'

Context? Eric sprinkled his sentences with words that few other 12-year-olds knew.

My pal took the letter from me, read it and sniffed. 'It's no big deal but I'll swap you my spud gun for it.'

Eric possessed a plastic pistol which fired pieces of potato and which explained why his mother served strangelyshaped chips at teatime.

'Swap my Doris Day letter!' I shrieked. 'Are you mad?'

Eric shrugged. 'Suit yourself. It's not me that's fixated with

Doris Day.' Fixated? There he goes again with the big words, I thought.

'I'm not fixated,' I said. 'It's just that Doris rules my life.'

'Yeah. And that's called being fixated,' said Eric.

'Oh,' I said.

I grabbed back Doris's letter and while Eric went inside to get washed and dressed, I fired off a couple of rounds of King Edwards at the painted bull's-eye on the dustbin in his backyard.

'Fancy a game of soccer on the croft this afternoon?' asked Eric as we walked to the corner shop to buy sherbert dips.

'Can't,' I said. 'My mum's taking me to the dentist. I need a filling. Too many sherbert dips.'

It was a lie, of course.

While Eric and the rest of the gang would be chasing a football, I'd be getting my kicks on the front row of the cinema watching my Doris in Calamity Jane -- my third visit that week.

I congratulated myself on how clever I had been at concealing my dates with Doris from my pals. And they would never, ever find out.

'Oh, come off it!' tutted Eric. 'You're going to the pictures to see you-know-who.

'Nobody goes to the dentist three times in three days,' he pointed out. 'And I should know because I'm going to be an orthodontist when I attain maturity.'

Orthodontist? Attain? Maturity even? There he goes again with the big words, I thought.

'I really was in love with Doris Day,' I laughed some 40 years later as I partook of a pint with my big brother.

'It was more than love,' he chuckled. 'You were fixated.'

'Oh,' I said.

We reminisced some more and my brother said: 'Isn't it weird. I was the one who collected stamps and yet you were the one who was unhinged.'

'Talking of which,' I said, 'You never did show me that stamp.'

'And what stamp was that, little brother?'

'The American one that was on the envelope which contained Doris Day's letter.'

My brother looked uncomfortable.

'Come to think of it,' I said, 'I never even saw the envelope.

Just the folded letter on the doormat.'

My brother downed his pint and my heart sank with it.

'She never did write, did she? It was YOU pretending to be HER!' My brother looked decidedly guilty.

'What a terrible trick,' I said bitterly. 'All those years I deluded myself that Doris liked me when all the time it was you doing the dastardly deluding.'

'That last bit makes no grammatical sense,' my brother said. 'But I get your drift.'

I pointed an accusing finger at him. 'You took away my childhood dream!'

My brother pointed an accusing finger back. 'And you stole my 1951 soccer annual!'

So there we sat with our accusing fingers crossed until I left the pub and marched into the nearby dental surgery.

'Do you have an appointment?' the receptionist asked.

I pulled a tattered piece of paper from my wallet.

'Just show this to your boss and ask him if he still has his spud gun.'

Friday, October 21, 2011

11

THE SPANISH PRESS 12

Friday, October 21, 2011

Indignados inspire millions to protest THOUSANDS of demonstrators took to the streets across Spain last Saturday as part of a worldwide movement of social unrest.

More than 80 towns and cities were filled with marchers, known as the Indignados, demanding a fairer society and justice for all.

Under the slogan ‘United for global change,’ the Indignados were responding to a call to action from several political organisations, including 15M , which takes its name from the date anti-austerity demonstrations began in Spain.

The protesters rallied against politicians, the financial markets, banks, social benefit cuts and high unemployment.

The marches in Spain were intended to reactivate the protests of last spring when hundreds of people camped out for a month in Madrid’s Puerta del Sol square.

Saturday’s biggest protest took place in the capital, where thousands marched between the Plaza de Cibeles and the emblematic Puerta del Sol, five months after the first protest.

The unauthorised march began with the blowing of a whistle and banging of pots and pans in front to the main entrance to the Banco de España, Spain’s central bank.

The Indignados yelled ‘guilty, guilty’ as they passed the Banco de España and the bank’s branch offices, and ‘not one more cut’ when they reached the Education Ministry.

In Barcelona some 60,000 Indignados, according to city

BY SALLY BENGTSSON AFTER a long and arduous battle, many investors in Trampolín Hills Golf Resort and Solera El Trampolín have finally received some good news.

The Trampolín business has been ordered to pay 20 would-be home owners more than 703,000 euros.

They handed money over for their dream homes in Campos del Rio almost ten years ago, and are still waiting.

La Opinion newspaper reported that the owners of both businesses have the same address in Gea y Truyols, near Murcia, and are actually the same company, operating under the umbrella of Trampolín.

The business is owned by Antonio Martinez, who was arrested last April on fraud charges.

The Valencia High Court of Justice has set December 12 as the date of the trial of former PP President of Valencia, Francisco Camps and exgeneral secretary Ricardo Costa in the so-called ‘suits’ section of the Gürtel corruption case.

Their trial by jury will be held at Valencia High Court.

The charge is improper passive bribery for allegedly accepting gifts from companies linked to the Gürtel network.

Camps resigned as head of the Valencia government in July over his implication in the case.

Víctor Campos, ex deputy president of the Valencia government, and Rafael Betoret, former regional tourism department cabinet chief, have admitted their guilt and paid a fine.

BREEDING HELL, l I’M FEELING TICK

BY SALLY BENGTSSON

government officials and police, and 250,000, according to the organisers, staged a protest.

Practically all of Spain’s provincial capitals held demonstrations numbering thousands - and Murcia and Alicante (pictured) city centres were no exception.

Economic protests inspired by Spain’s Indignados and the Occupy Wall Street movement in New York spread to cities around the world on Saturday.

Tens of thousands marched in London, Romanian men Frankfurt, Rome, Sydney FOUR ested last week arr re and Hong Kong as organis- we cash for putting glue on ers aimed to ‘initiate global ihuela Or in ers ns pe dis ting change’ against capitalism Costa, and then collec ’t hadn and austerity measures. money which Rallies were expected in emerged from the cash some 82 countries. point.

TRAMPOLÍN VICTIMS PROMISED PAYOUT

as nobody has carried out reliable research before. But Agustin Estrada, Head of Parasitical Illnesses at Zaragoza University’s veterinary faculty, says the increase is a public health threat to both humans and animals. He recommends that owners have their animals and pets vaccinated against the infestation.

In Brazil, says Estrada, cows in tropical areas are vaccinated twice a year, as a result of which ticks die two seconds after biting the animals.

Ticks can transmit Lyme Disease to humans, ns nia ma Two other Ro e as well as other unpleassam the in ed est arr were fol- ant diseases. And those shopping centre the r- who go walking in the pe to lowing day trying mountains of Murcia are k. tric e sam form the advised to check their re we es ne tai All four de clothing and body for en twe said to be aged be ticks, and to carefully 28 and 36. remove any they may detect with tweezers.

DOG owners beware - Murcia has become the ideal breeding ground for ticks.

According to La Verdad Newspaper, a plague of these disgusting parasites appears to be advancing throughout the South of Spain, and Murcia is reported to be the worst affected area.

Few statistics about ticks are available

p u k c ti s a is is th , p u s Hand ted Local police arres in La two of the suspects tre at Mosca shopping cen ay esd Tu t las m around 6p otted after they were sp rt of a trying to remove pa away t ge d an cash point with 320 euros.

Friday, October 21, 2011

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14

Friday, October 21, 2011

THE MARRED MENOR!

By SALLY BENGTSSON THE beach season is coming to an end in Spain, despite warm, sunny afternoons and blue skies.

However, over the past year the Mar Menor has been characterised by a multitude of problems, different town halls: San including a plague of jelly Pedro del Pinotar, San fish, followed by a plague of Javier, Los Alcazares and water snails, interspersed Cartagena. They all need to with sewage spills and polform a common lution caused by contamination from pesticides used in nearby fields.

To add to this, waste from the nearby mines was washed into the Mar Menor during heavy rain, which carried it along the dry river beds.

There have been complaints about boats moored in areas specifically for bathers, and Plagued...by jellyfish about mud and seaweed in areas which agreement amongst themused to be clear of selves, and also with the water plants. provincial PP government All in all it hasn’t been the and the national Socialist best year in the history of government, about how the the Mar Menor. The main natural sea water lake should problem seems to boil be protected and looked down to the fact that no one after, in the long and short public administration wants term. However, the differto manage the area. ences in political views seem The shores of the Mar to taking precedence over Menor are managed by four

Jellyfish, snails, sewage spills…a year to forget working together for the good of the local community.

Environmentalists hope that, should the PP win the national elections next month, then this may change, as the local PP town halls would then have the backing of a PP national government, and, they hope, a PP provincial government.

A commission for the Mar Menor was formed in 2007, but has only met twice.

On a more positive note, the lifting bridge on La Manga is now operating twice a day, at 10am and 6pm, and will continue to do so until the building work has finished. This should be tomorrow (Saturday), when it will return to its normal schedule.

One of the electrical transformers of the bridge broke on September 23. Cost of repair -27,000 euros.

The Christmas Shop The CHRISTMAS SHOP will once again be opening its doors in San Luis - for the fourth year. The CHRISTMAS SHOP is bigger and better than ever this year with the same quality you would expect from them, but at even less cost.

This year the shop is three times bigger than the last and has every Christmas item imaginable all under one roof. There are cake decorations, card holders, nick-nacks and stocking fillers, Xmas baubles in 10 different colours, silly hats and costumes, light up villages and the biggest tree selection available in Spain.

Mrs Christmas prides herself on having everything you are looking for at Xmas, if she hasn’t got it, she will tell

you where you can find it. Each year her elves shop around to try to ensure the best prices, with cards from just one euro. To ensure their prices are truly fair, if you find the same item cheaper elsewhere, Mrs Christmas will refund the difference.

The CHRISTMAS SHOP will again this year be a collection point for various local charities. Last year the CHRISTMAS SHOP donated 33 sacks full of toys to four different charities, two children’s homes and an orphanage. The CHRISTMAS SHOP also managed to donate doggy treat Xmas stockings to all the dogs in care with Animal Aid and S.A.T. on Xmas morning. The fundraising at the C HRISTMAS SHOP is a massive part of the pleasure Mother Christmas gains from running the shop each year. If you work for a charity or collect toys for children in need, please call into the CHRISTMAS SHOP and register your group and they will endeavour to include your charity this year.

Finally, a date for your diary for this year’s FUN DAY is NOVEMBER 19!

Come along and take an amazing train ride to see SANTA. The 2011 CHRISTMAS SHOP opened on OCTOBER 8, so for all those XMAS goodies, go along and have a chat with Mrs Christmas in the CHRISTMAS SHOP in SAN LUIS.

IT’S EASY TO FIND YOUR DREAM HOME WITH SME STILL searching for your dream home? Well look no further as San Miguel Estates is guaranteed to pair you up with your perfect property.

Whether looking to buy, sell or rent a property, San Miguel Estates (SME) can get you where you want to be. Established in San Miguel de Salinas, the company extends a professional, comprehensive service, carrying clients through the entire process from searching for a property to arranging mortgages and conveyancing.

Business owners Eddie and Jan Hill have owned property on the Costas since 2002, relocating permanently in 2006.They immediately became submerged in the thriving property business, and so have witnessed its rise, fall and current upward trend.

Eddie was proud to confirm that business has been non-stop again since April with little signs of slowing down. He commented: "After recent months in the doldrums the property market seems to have come backto life, a major upturn in sales and serious enquires for a number of

properties, the feel good factor is certainly back!"

Through their experiences, SME have developed an impressive portfolio of reliable contacts, including other realtors and developers, solicitors, mortgage advisors and brokers, and other associated members of the building trade.

Jan provides the friendly voice on the end of the telephone, also dealing with major admin work, compiling contracts and customer service.

Eddie is mainly based out in the field, accompa-

nying clients to view properties; and organising new listings, where he advises property owners of the appropriate price range and as a semi-professional photographer, takes stunning shots that really support the sale.

What makes SME so different from many other Real Estate companies is that they offer a truly personalised service, where they first meet clients to determine their needs and

taste, eventually compiling a list of potential viewings that fit this profile.

This can take time, as the company has literally hundreds of new and resale properties on its books, as well as plots of land, which are located throughout the Costa Blanca, Murcia and even overseas.

Prices range from as little as €33,000, for a bargain one bedroom studio apartment, up to around €400,000 for a stunning detached villa.

SME are pleased to provide personal advice relating to schools, doctors, golf courses, nightlife, management and a range of other elements that may help the buyer make a decision on where they want to be.

And if they are still undecided, SME have a wide range of rental properties on their books too, allowing clients to have a look around and get to know the area a little better before they commit to a purchase!

For further information, please give them a call today on 663 593 871, or email them at info@sanmiguelestates.co.uk.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

No more sitting on Defence, crafty Fox I BREATHED a huge sigh of relief last Friday, when Liam Fox held back from quitting as Defence Secretary until my Courier column had hit the streets.

It was very kind of him, and now he has plenty of time to reflect on his misuse of power from the comfort of the backbenches.

There’s no doubt that he quit before the “you know what” hit the even bigger fan with today’s publication of an internal report on his dealings with his “friend”, Adam Werritty.

I’ll tell you what it all smacks of. It’s the attitude of a smug politician who grabs power and thinks that the “little people”, i.e. the electorate count for absolutely nothing, as he lets his unelected and unaccountable pal lobby away for all kinds of defence deals.

And even to plot with American nutters to overthrow the regime in Iran by using the Israeli secret service as a proxy!

There are enough questions to fill a new series of Mastermind, purely on specialist rounds called: “Dr Fox:- My Life with Adam”. For example: How much public money was spent on this friendship? What did Werritty actually do?

Was Werritty claiming to speak on behalf of the Government? Did Fox and Werritty have a Star Trek style “mind-meld” where they just happened to bump into each in exotic international locations?

All this was going on when brave servicemen and women were being axed from their jobs to save money in Fox’s department. And this man hasn’t had the guts to say sorry to them. Are you really surprised?

All of this pathetic business has made the task of working out the plotline of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy seem to be a doddle. But, here’s the big point. If serious wrong has been committed, including the misuse of public

It’s the Fox and Werritty show...

funds, will appropriate legal action be taken?

Whilst “lesser” MPs and ex-MPs have spent some time behind bars over the expenses scandal, you just get the uneasy feeling that a broom is sweeping all of this current rubbish under a very big shagpile!

There’s also another element to this story which in the mainstream UK media, only the satirical TV show Have I Got News for You has hinted at, and that is Dr. Fox’s sexuality.

Frankly that should normally be of no concern to anybody, but in Fox’s case I think his past actions have made it a polit-

ical issue. That’s because he has consistently opposed gay equality legislation, partnerships, and marriage to keep his right wing credentials nice and clean.

So, IF he is gay(and I do mean IF), he is a hypocrite of the highest order, but hey that’s politics for you!

There is some good news out of all this, though. Defence chiefs thought that Fox was utterly useless at his job, and they should know, as they certainly have had a rich picking of fools to choose from over the last decade.

Fox’s exit does at least bring us another female cabinet minister - the fifth to be part of David Cameron’s team - in the form of Justine Greening, who is the new Transport Secretary.

Greening is a lively operator and might score a lot higher in the style department as opposed to her female colleagues, who Mary Portas, the Queen of Shops and Frocks (and everything else), called an “ugly bunch”.

Portas then grovelled to Cameron with an apology as she didn’t want to lose her job as his retail shop guru.

Who really cares what Portas thinks about the cabinet ladies? I’m more interested in their job performance compared to how much powder puff they’ve used, or whether they’ve bought a new dress.

Portas is a fine one to talk, as she has a face like a crippled horse, and scored a classic own-goal by later admitting she didn’t even know who the cabinet ladies were!

By the way, barring Home Secretary Theresa May, can you name the other females in the Cabinet? There’s Baroness Warsi for a start, who must have some hidden talents in her useless stewardship of the Conservative Party, as she reminds me of an incompetent local councillor I worked for years ago.

She’s that bad, but she probably only keeps her high profile position because of her ethnic background.

The other ladies, for the record, are Caroline Spelman, who I rate very highly from my media dealings with her, and Cheryl Gillan, who insultingly is the Welsh Secretary despite sitting for a constituency in leafy Buckinghamshire.

At least the unlucky exit of Wales from the Rugby World Cup means that Ms.Gillan won’t spend a week pretending to be an expert on the sport, in an attempt to justify an allexpenses paid trip to New Zealand for this weekend’s final!

Brits busted for coke KIDS STILL MISSING AS FATHER IS ARRESTED on the high seas A BRITISH catamaran carrying cocaine worth €1 million was towed into port in Cádiz on Tuesday after it was boarded on the high seas in a joint operation by the Spanish National Police and the Tax Authority.

Some 300 kilos of the drug were found on the vessel when it was intercepted 200 miles west of Cape St Vincent, Portugal, last Saturday.

It is understood that the boat was bound for Spain and that it had been under surveillance since October 11.

Five people were taken into custody the three-man crew on board the boat and another two members of the drugs

gang, including the leader, who were arrested in Almería province, where the gang was based.

More than €50,000 in cash was confiscated in a search of the leader’s home.

The suspects’ nationalities have yet to be confirmed by the police, but it is believed the boat’s crew and one of the suspects taken into custody in Almería are all British. The fifth suspect is said to be a Colombian man with British documentation.

Spanish officers were assisted in their investigation by the UK’s Serious Organised Crime Agency and the Guardia Nacional in Venezuela.

THE father of the brother and sister missing for ten days in Córdoba has been arrested.

The National Police announced on Tuesday that they had detained José Bretón, who had claimed that Ruth, 6, and two-year-old old José, vanished when he was walking with them in the Cruz Conde park last Saturday.

The police it seems, do not believe his story.

There has been no sign of the missing children despite a widespread search which has included divers in the Guadalquivir River.

Ruth and Jose’s father had collected them from his estranged partner - the children’s mother - the day before their disappearance.

She has been living in Huelva since the couple decided to separate some 20 days prior to the children’s disappearance.

The local investigation has been strengthened by the arrival of more scientific police and other agents from Madrid.

16

Friday, October 21, 2011

THIS WEEK IN

BENT ON POWER Energy firms make £30 billion

THE Big Six energy firms’ greed can be exposed after it emerged they pocketed £30billion in profits while jacking up prices.

A damning Mirror investigation has found the major companies spent a fortune rewarding their bosses and shareholders as families struggled.

In total, they have raked in an ¬estimated £30billion in profits since 2006 with £8billion going on dividends.

And the rip-off shows no sign of ending with E.On, Centrica, RWE npower, EDF, Scottish and Southern, and Scottish Power already raising charges ahead of this winter – some by as much as 20%.

as bills rocket for millions Daily Mirror

Our alarming findings come as David Cameron held an emergency summit at No.10 with the bosses of the Big Six and the regulator Ofgem.

Neil Duncan-Jordan, from the National Pensioners Convention, said our figures showed the fatcat energy bosses had a “licence to print money”.He blasted: “They have very little regard for their most vulnerable customers. ‘’Some 25,000 died from cold-related illnesses last year and yet energy companies are NEARLY one in four thugs and sex offenders still raising prices by 18 with 10 or more previous convictions dodge to 19%.”

In the past five years, jail, new figures reveal.

A shocking 22 per cent get off with com- E.On has made an estimated £2.8billion in munity orders or suspended sentences.

And around a third committing "level one" profits and paid nearly to offences — such as an unprovoked attack £1billion which leaves the victim seriously injured — shareholders. are not jailed, either.

Centrica, which Wellingborough Tory MP Peter Bone said: owns British Gas, has "Most people would think it absolutely wrong made £9.3billion over to have 10 offences and escape jail." the same period and The figures were published this week by paid out £2.7billion in the Sentencing Council. It added to pressure dividends, while RWE on soft Justice Secretary Ken Clarke after npower has made The Sun revealed he is ignoring pleas from £2.4billion and given police chiefs and charities to include juveni- £788million to shareles in a new knife crackdown. holders.

Quarter of serial crooks beat jail

The Sun

£30k to beat fuel poverty NEARLY a third of UK households are facing fuel poverty in the event of a predicted harsh winter, according to new research.

The independent price comparison website forecast energy customers will have to stump up an average £564 to pay their heating bills from December to February if the period is colder than average.

At present, there are 6.4 million UK homes in fuel poverty – where people have to spend more than 10% of their income on their domes-

tic fuel bills. However, the plummeting temperatures and rising prices, could push a further 1.9 million homes over the edge so that 8.3 million of the UK’s 26 million households are hit.

This means that only homes with a combined income of £30,000-a-year – just £3,000 short of the average will be able to avoid the fuel poverty trap. Mark Todd, director of Energyhelpline.com, said: “This could be the worst Christmas for many in a generation.’’

MURDERED MUM: 11 CALLS TO THE POLICE

A YOUNG mother was beaten to death by her violent former partner after police failed to act on her repeated reports of abuse, investigators said on Monday.

Casey Brittle, 21, called Nottinghamshire Police 11 times before she was murdered by Sanchez Williams in front of their two-yearold daughter.

Amerdeep Somal, a commissioner at the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC), said Williams, from Nottingham, was 'well-known to local police for his propensity for violence and threatening behaviour'.

'In this case it is clear that a number of officers failed to perform to the level expected of them and basic actions, that may have helped others see the full picture of her suffering, were not completed,' the commissioner said.

'No consideration was given to why Casey was reporting domestic abuse but then subsequently saying that she did not want police help.'

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Friday, October 21, 2011

THE TABLOIDS

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

7 MILLION IN TAX BUNGLE You could get £400 back - or a £600 demand

Daily Mail THE biggest tax blunder in a generation has trapped seven million people, the Mail can reveal.

Six million of them will receive letters in coming weeks saying they have overpaid and can expect £2.5billion back - an average of £400 each.

But a further 1.2million, including more than 150,000 pensioners, face the shock of being told they did not pay enough. On average, they will have to find £600 each.

HM Revenue & Customs receive demands to pay notifications to the winners back around £720million. and losers will start landing They will be invited either on doormats as early as this to make an immediate payweekend. ment or have their tax The move is the latest in codes adjusted so that the a chapter of errors at the money is clawed back grabeleaguered agency, which dually. last year admitted it had Demands for repayments made mistakes in the tax from individuals will prompt affairs of 5.8million people. controversy at a time when It was suggested that this HMRC has admitted reawas a one-off until, this ching a settlement with summer, officials conceded Goldman Sachs, which left that as many as one in six the taxpayer shortchanged people may have paid the by up to £8million. Another wrong amounts in 2010/11. deal with Vodafone is alleThe 1.2million will start to ged to have cost billions.

Fish treatment a HIV, Hep-B risk TRENDY fish pedicures could spread HIV and hepatitis C, officials have warned.

The Health Protection Agency said risks from the foot-nibbling treatment are "low but could not be completely excluded".

And it said those with diabetes, psoriasis or with weakened immune systems are especially vulnerable and should never undergo the pampering craze.

Infections and bacteria may be passed on by the tiny garra rufa fish themselves or through water used by a previous client and left unchanged.

Blood-borne viruses like HIV and hepatitis could be transmitted if infected clients bleed in spa water that is used again.

A report added that the risk is

The Sun "extremely low, however, this cannot be completely excluded".

An agency spokesman said last night: "We have issued this guidance because there are a growing number of these spas.

"When the correct hygiene procedures are followed, the risk of infection is very low.

"However, there is still a risk of transmission of a number of infections — this does include viruses like HIV and hepatitis."

Some parts of the US and Canada have banned fish pedicures.

Conventional sterilisation of equipment cannot take place because it would harm the fish.

Twin sacrifice could save sister The Sun

A MUM who gave birth to conjoined sisters faces the awful prospect of "sacrificing" the weaker child to save the other.

The conjoined twins share one body with two legs but have two hearts, two stomachs and two spines.

They were delivered by Caesarean section last Wednesday and doctors in Vietnam have said one may have to be "sacrificed" to save the other.

The sisters are thought to suffer an extremely rare form of twin conjoinment - dicephalic parapagus. It means only one body develops in the womb and

because they share it, they can never be properly separated.

Their mother, 35, was told she was having normal twins after scans during pregnancy picked up two heartbeats.

Dr Dao Trung Hieu said the sisters' internal organs would be examined before a consultation would make a final decision on their future.

He said: "They are in a good condition.This is a case of dicephalic parapagus twins since they have two heads, two necks, and a conjoined body from the chest area.’’

18

Friday, October 21, 2011

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Book in and have some fun…

YOU may have read my letter in The Courier last week saying “How nice it would be to have a book club with a difference”.

Well now we can, but I need your help in getting it started, If you’re a bookworm who simple loves all types of reading, this might interest you.

Or if you simply like to read a book now and then, when you have a spare minute or two -

but never know what to choose.

And then there are those of us who are desperate to find a favourite book they read years ago but can no longer trace it.

There may be someone who can help find it. So just ask.

You may be one of those people who’ve walked down a street and discovered a dusty old book shop and the most

wonderful book imaginable that you will never part with.

I’m inviting you to tell us all “where, when, and most importantly, the title of your wonderful find” Then there are folks like me who have written books. Some have done well, other not. I’d like you to share your experiences with other would-be writers, good or bad. Your experi-

ence could help other wouldbe writers.

Finally, we want it to be interesting and FUN. So if you’re game, then let’s get it up and running. Any input is welcome.

If any of the above applies to you, we want to hear from you.

Contact sandra.knott@gmail.com SANDRA KNOTT, Quesada

Elche’s leading role in battle against cancer samples they take, they are trying to establish why cancer is returning within the family.

They are also researching on cells from tumours taken from patients, in order to detect and learn as much as possible about the changes of tumours.

In particular, they want to know why normal cells change to cancerous tumours and to try to catch it in the early stages.

JUST thought you might be interested to hear about my visit to Elche University Hospital with Bev, one of our volunteer translators.

She has been many times, but I had not seen the new building where the Oncology Department had moved to.

Well, what a fantastic and informative morning we had. The Head of the Department showed us along the different sections for Doctors and Consultants. Being new, it was so modern, light, airy and clean.

It was a nice surprise to see such colourful comfortable chairs in the large, beautifully equipped treatment room where patients were receiving their chemotherapy.

We were then escorted up to see Dr. Jose Luis Soto Martinez, a microbiologist who has been in California for five years studying and researching into different cancers. He spoke such good English that Bev’s job was made much easier.

Dr Martinez was so keen for us to see everything he and his colleagues do, especially on the research side in the laborato-

Freezers The equipment was amazing. We went to see the different types of storage incubators and cryogenic freezers where all the different samples are kept.

Although it is a new Hospital, we did not realise the in-depth research and progress being achieved in Elche and the high quality and treatment available.

In fact Elche, although smaller, is just as important and equal to its counterparts in Dr Jose Luis Soto Martinez Valencia, Barcelona and Madrid. ries. In each area ongoing and up-to-the- Dr. Martinez was very keen for an English minute work is carried out by Researchers, Charity such as MABS to be aware of the whilst top microbiologists concentrate on work and how the Hospital itself runs. We genetic types of cancers. Through the DNA cannot thank him enough for such an inform-

SPAIN’S UNHEALTHY DEBT From Page 5

say they can find ways to reduce health spending without harming services.

Examples include forcing car insurance firms to pay for the treatment of accident victims and sending foreign governments the bill when their citizens use Spanish hospitals.

Multinational pharmaceutical firm Roche says the Castilla y Leon region north of Madrid is more than 900 days behind on its bills, which has raised fears here that the company could start withholding drugs for some hospitals, as it has done in Greece.

Spain’s central government makes yearly transfers

of income tax revenue to the country’s 17 autonomous regions, which are in charge of administering health care and schools.

But the regions are being forced to make drastic budget cuts after piling up debt during Spain’s property boom, the collapse of which in 2008 sent the country into recession and unemployment soaring to more than 20 percent.

As the regions squeeze spending wherever they can, what they owe to companies that provide health care services and products has risen 42 percent in a year to more than four billion euros, according to Fenin, the Spanish Federation of

Healthcare Technology.

AT Kearney consultancy calculates the system’s long-term deficit is 15 billion euros, a heavy burden for a government whose borrowing costs have soared in the euro zone debt crisis.

Margarita Alfonsel (pictured), secretary general of Fenin, says small compa-

nies in her federation “are suffering to an alarming extent due to the liquidity squeeze”. She said some will have to lay off staff or go into bankruptcy.

The average number of days providers must wait for payment has risen in the past year from 285 days to 415 days, she said.

“It was unacceptable before. Now it’s totally incomprehensible,” said Joaquin del Rincon, Spanish representative of Boston Scientific, which provides medical and surgical instruments to Spanish hospitals.

“We have to explain to our central offices that this is an ongoing problem in Spain made worse by the crisis.”

ative and interesting morning.

Most importantly, he is also the Director of the University Hospital Foundation, and aware of any regional legal charities operating in the Valencia area. So obviously he was interested in the MABS Charity and how and where we raised money.

We asked if he had received any funding for the Hospital from our area and he said nothing had been donated for either the equipment or Department, but this was not expected as it is financed by the Government.

But he was excited by the prospect of future donations, which he said would be a great help.

If donations were to be made, this would have to be discussed with him and legally processed, and a receipt and letter of thanks would also be sent.

We would like to stress that we are the only legal, registered charity in Gran Alacant.

JAN WRIGHT, Co-ordinator, MABS Cancer Support Group - Gran Alacant. Charity 7261.

MADRID and Catalonia have banned the display of animals in pet-shop windows in an effort to stop people making spontaneous or impulsive purchases.

Madrid Animal Defence leader Matilde Cubillo welcomed the measure, describing it as a very good idea.

One of the main pet shops in the capital, Mundo Canino, claimed that in 90% of establishments the measure would have little effect.

However a pet shop owner in Getafe told 20‘Minutos: ‘’Dogs and cats in the window will always attract more customers’’.

So far Madrid and Catalonia are the only two regions of the country to introduce the restrictions, but animal lovers are encouraging other regions to follow suit.

Friday, October 21, 2011

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RECORD BREAKERS Jeff’s son-run ends in Guinness world best

AS he watched his son Russell race off in the Valencia marathon, Jeff Whittington laughingly called out: ‘‘I could do that’’.

Whittington Jnr promptly retorted: “Get a training schedule, enter at least a half marathon…and we’ll do it together next year.”

They did – and six years on, the remarkable duo are to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the world’s fastest father and

son over 26.2 miles. The marathon, that is.

Until that moment in Valencia, Jeff – whose other great passion is setting puzzles and quizzes for The Courier and other newspapers - had been a regular jogger. ‘‘But it was neither very far nor challenging,’’ concedes the 64 year-old. ‘‘I followed Russell’s suggestion, started ‘proper’ training and ran in the 2006 East Kilbride and Benidorm half-marathons.’’

In February 2007, Jeff and Russell started

Running with a pacemaker (the cardiac type, that is)

their double act in the 27th Valencia marathon, where Jeff finished 37th in his age group: ‘‘I was more than pleased with my time of 3:47:14,’’ he says. ‘‘I’d got the bug so, what to do now?’’

Assault He joined the Costa Blanca Striders and improved by leaps and bounds. Marathons in Berlin, Barcelona and Loch Ness saw Jeff take more than halfan-hour off his initial Valencia time.

It also led to him winning the over-60 category in his second monster assault on Loch Ness and also the 2010 Valencia marathon.

Last year’s Valencia event marked and another personal best (3:11:57) plus agegroup victory. ‘‘I didn’t realise I’d won and had to go back the following day to collect my trophy,’’ he laughs.

Russell and Jeff after the recent Chester Marathon

JEFF WHITTINGTON's remarkable running record has been achieved despite the fact his heart is regulated by His biggest success was on my running vest and ‘‘We sent off all our infora cardiac pacemaker. still to come. Days after every few steps I heard my mation to Guinness World But the only time he thinks about the mechanism is moving back to the UK in name being shouted out by Records,’’ says Jeff, ‘‘and on when he flies – because he can’t go through the X-ray April, he and Russell – who enthusiastic spectators,’’ September 14 we were machines at airports. lives in Glasgow and runs says Jeff, who went on to ‘approved’ as the world’s Says Jeff, who moved back to the UK this year but is for Bellahouston Road finish fourth out of more than fastest father and son.’’ keeping his home in Sagra as a holiday retreat: ‘‘I had it Runners - headed for the 500 in his age group.

Now there’s just one thing checked every year when we lived in Spain and many Virgin London Marathon Jeff (3:07:30) and Russell left for the Whittingtons to times I asked the medics if it was OK to run. The reply along with around 35,000 (2:40:28) later discovered puzzle out. was always ‘yes’. other entrants. that their combined time of Since the 2011 Guinness ‘‘I also visited my cardiologist in England recently, He also found a novel way 5:47:58 was more than 15 Book of Records has asked him the same question and was given exactly the to drum up support. ‘‘A run- minutes faster than the already been published, same answer.’’ ning friend had suggested existing best dad-and-lad when exactly will their Jeff also has an advantage over his peers on the that I get my name printed pair. names go up in lights? marathon circuit – he’s fresh. ‘‘I only took up running (marathons) five or six years ago, so my ‘training age’ is only five,’’ he explains. ‘‘A lot of my friends of a similar age, who have been running for many years, have dodgy knees, hips and so on, but so far my joints are fine. ‘‘I feel great, my wife Eileen feeds me healthily, I have the occasional glass of red wine and I live a healthy lifestyle.’’

The job satisfaction is THIRD MAN HARVEY: He’ll also immense. ‘‘It is a tremendous be competing in next year’s London Marathon with his feeling when you cross father and brother Russell the line with blokes half, sometimes a third of my age,’’ he says. ‘‘The only time I feel my age is when I look in the shaving mirror and see my Dad looking back at me.’’

How long will he keep running competitively? ‘’I’ll go on running marathons for as long as I can. I know I will slow down but I’ll only stop when I don’t enjoy it any more. ‘‘I’ve had ‘down’ moments during EVERY marathon I have ever run. When the going gets tough (normally at about 20 miles) I think, ‘Why am I doing this? It hurts.

This is the last one, never again’… ‘‘Then, five minutes after crossing the finish line, I start to think ‘Where next?’’’

The answer to that question is the 2012 Virgin London next April, when THREE Whittingtons will be lining up to run the 26.2 miles - Jeff, Russell and his brother Harvey.

Says Jeff: ‘’I wonder if there is a world marathon record for a father and TWO sons?’’

DOING A RUNNER: Jeff pounding out the pace in the recent Chester Marathon and (right) at the finish

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Fancy a veggie ruby?

Hands off the takeaway menu. Here come some amazing indian recipes for vegetarians. Whether you're a korma fan or a ten-bell fire chilli-fiend, we've got a great vegetarian curry recipe for you.

ANGLO-INDIAN EGG CURRY

BASIC CURRY SAUCE This is a great home-made curry sauce, which can be frozen in batches and transformed into three different curries: Creamy chicken korma, Lamb rogan josh, and Prawn madras – ideal for entertaining or feeding the family.

Ingredients 3 large onions, roughly chopped 12 garlic cloves, roughly chopped 8cm piece fresh ginger, roughly chopped 2 tsp cumin seeds 2 tsp fennel seeds 2 bay leaves 1 cinnamon stick 6 tbsp groundnut oil 1 tbsp ground coriander 1 tbsp ground turmeric tbsp tomato purée 1 tsp salt

Method 1. Place the chopped onions, garlic and ginger in a food processor and blitz to make a paste.

2. Heat a large nonstick frying pan, add the cumin seeds, fennel seeds, bay leaves and cinnamon stick and let them sizzle for a minute. Add the oil and, once hot, pour in the paste from the food processor and fry for 10-15 minutes until golden brown.

3. Add the ground spices, tomato purée and salt and pour in 600ml water. Bring to a simmer for 10 minutes until thickened.

4. Leave to cool completely, then divide evenly between 3 containers, label and freeze for up to 3 months. Defrost each portion as you need it and use the curry base to make any of the following curries.

This is based on a South Indian kari – or sauce – for hard-boiled eggs. I have anglicised it slightly with the addition of celery and potato. It’s good with rice, but you can’t beat it with wilted spinach and lemon wedges. Cold, it makes a great picnic salad.

Ingredients 6 medium eggs 400g potatoes, cut into medium dice 1 tsp coriander seeds 1 tsp cumin seeds Seeds of 3 cardamom pods 1/2 tsp ground ginger 1/2 tsp ground turmeric 1/4 tsp crushed dried chilli (optional), plus extra to garnish 15g butter 1 tbsp olive oil 3 garlic cloves, chopped 2 medium onions, finely diced 3 celery stalks, finely diced 2 tbsp passata 284ml carton double cream Coriander leaves, to garnish

Method 1. Cook the eggs in boiling water for 8 minutes. Drain, cool slightly and shell. Set aside.

2. Meanwhile, cook the potatoes in boiling salted water for about 6 minutes, until tender

but not falling apart. Drain and set aside.

3. Grind the coriander, cumin and cardamom seeds in a pestle and mortar, then mix with the rest of the spices. Put a large, deep frying pan over a medium heat. When hot, add the spices and dry-fry for 1 minute, until fragrant. Add the butter and oil and, when it fizzes, add the garlic, onions and celery. Fry for 10-12 minutes, until they start to brown.

4. Add the potatoes, passata and cream to the pan and gently warm through. Season to taste. Quarter the eggs. Divide the curry between plates, place the eggs on top or stir through. Garnish with coriander leaves and extra crushed chilli.

WHICH WINES WORK WITH CURRY? Taste is always personal, of course, but here are some more successful wine varieties to try with curry: Gewürztraminer: Has spices of its own and is sweet enough to temper some of the chilli.

Semillon: A bit simpler, won't compete with the food. Although any subtleties will be masked by the curries.

Viognier: Low in acidity. Has the body to stand up to strong flavours but works better

with a mildly-spiced curry, like a korma.

Zinfandel: Juicy and packed with fruit, with a little bit of spice of its own. A powerful wine is particularly useful with a vinegary curry, such as a vindaloo.

Merlot: They're soft and fruity without too many tannins which would interfere with the chillies and spices in an Indian meal.

A rosé would also be a hit for the same reasons - the tannins are light enough but they give a fruity mouthful with low acidity.

Friday, October 21, 2011

POORIES

PUMPKIN AND PEANUT CURRY

THE best thing about cooking is that you can get your hands dirty, and making these Indian breads is more fun than playdough ever was!

ALTHOUGH pumpkin is not a root vegetable it inhabits the same knobbly territory. You will not believe how exotic something made with peanut butter can taste.

Ingredients 450g atta (from Sainsbury’s or Indian grocers) or wholewheat flour 1 tbsp sunflower oil, plus extra for deep frying

Method 1. Put the flour into a large bowl, then add the oil. Pour in 300ml warm water, then get stuck in with your hands, dragging them around the sides and bottom of the bowl to mix it all together into a firm dough.

2. Sprinkle a little flour onto a work surface and tip out the dough. Clench your right fist and use the heal of your hand to push the dough down, then grab the edges and pull them up and over into the middle. Keep doing this for a couple of minutes, rotating the dough around in a circular direction. This is called kneading and helps to make the dough smooth.

Use a blunt knife to cut the

Ingredients

dough into quarters, then cut each quarter into 6 to make 24 pieces. Knead each piece to make it into a round.

Sprinkle the work surface generously with more flour, then use a rolling pin to roll each piece into a flat circle about 10cm across. Cover 3 baking trays with crumpled kitchen paper.

3. Put 2cm sunflower oil in a large frying pan and heat gently for about 5 minutes. To test the oil is hot enough, add a cube of bread – it should turn golden in 15 seconds. Carefully add 2-3 poories, and cook for a few minutes until puffy and pale golden. Remove with a slotted spoon and put on the trays to drain. Repeat with the remaining dough. Eat while still warm.

CAULIFLOWER AND LENTIL PILAU WITH MANGO LASSI GET your five-a-day in a single meal with this simple veggie pilau served with a refreshing mango lassi.

Ingredients

2 tbsp olive oil 4 onions, thinly sliced 2 tsp cumin seeds 1 small cauliflower, cut into small florets 1 sweet potato, cubed 2 tbsp hot curry paste 100g red lentils 750ml vegetable stock, hot 75g basmati rice 8 dried apricots, roughly chopped ½ savoy cabbage, finely shredded Grated zest and juice of 1 lemon

For the mango lassi 2 mangoes, peeled, stoned and chopped 150g natural yogurt 300ml milk

Method 1. Heat the oil in a nonstick pan and cook the onions over a gentle heat for 15 minutes until soft and golden. Add the cumin seeds and cook for a further 5 minutes. Scoop out half the onions and set aside.

2. Stir the cauliflower, sweet potato, curry paste, lentils and stock into the cooked onions in the pan.

Season, then simmer for 10 minutes.

3. Add the rice, apricots and cabbage; cover and cook for 10 minutes more til tender.

4. Meanwhile, make the lassi. Whizz the mango (reserving a few pieces to garnish), yogurt and milk in a blender with some ice cubes until smooth. Pour into 4 glasses and top with the reserved mango.

5. Stir the lemon zest and juice into the pilau, scatter over the reserved onion and serve with the mango lassi.

2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter 1 tsp tomato purée Zest and juice of 1 lime 1 tbsp soy sauce or Thai fish sauce 1 tsp sugar Small handful fresh coriander, with roots (if possible) 2 red chillies, halved and deseeded 4 garlic cloves 1cm piece fresh ginger 2 tbsp vegetable oil 2 red onions, cut into thin wedges 800g pumpkin or butternut squash, peeled, deseeded and roughly diced 400ml can coconut milk

Method 1. Stir the peanut butter into a jug containing 200ml hot water, until it dissolves.

Stir in the purée, lime zest and juice, soy or fish sauce and sugar. Ignore how ropey

this looks! Set aside.

2. Remove the leaves from the coriander and set aside. Chop the stalks and roots as finely as you can, along with the chilli, garlic and ginger.

3. Heat the oil in a wok or good-sized pan and fry the onions quite briskly for a few minutes, so that they catch slightly. As soon as this starts to happen, add the pumpkin and stir-fry for a few minutes. Stir in the chilli mixture for 1 minute, then add the coconut milk. Stir, then add the peanut butter mix. Cook at a brisk simmer for 15-20 minutes, until the sauce has thickened slightly and the pumpkin is tender.

Season to taste or add more soy or fish sauce, as you like. Garnish with coriander leaves and serve with cooked rice.

Cream tea, anyone?

REMEMBER those gorgeous Cream Teas that you can only get in Britain? The ones with the fresh, warm scones, strawberry jam and clotted Devon cream? And that delicious so-British cuppa poured out of a china teapot? Well, they are not a thing of the past because Lorraine and her staff are now serving them at La Fuente de San Juan EVERY DAY - for just €4.25. So check the directions below and we’ll see you this afternoon. OK?

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Friday, October 21, 2011

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Friday, October 21, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Judith wanted to know how to stop Windows Live ADVICE: Max had received a suspicious email and wantMessenger from starting when she started her computer. ed advice on what to do.

Hi Richard, Every time I open my computer I get a pop up asking me to sign up for Windows Messenger which I do not want to do

Q

Dear Richard, I received the following e-mail in the Spam blocker section of my emails. Unfortunately, I was so concerned about it, I opened the message. There appears to be no attachment. I phoned Lloyds to ask their opinion and they suggested I suspend my internet link and clean my computer with a new firewall. I did not tell them that I do not have a computer and use my local library for my e-mails.

Q

Hi Judith, Windows Live Messenger is a popular instance message application, it’s not clear from your question whether you want to remove it totally or just stop it from popping up when Windows starts. In order to remove it completely you should do the following…

A

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Click Start, Control Panel Click add/remove programs Click on Windows Live Essentials Click change/remove You will see an option to uninstall part of windows live messenger

…if you just want to stop it from loading when Windows starts do the following…

I enclose the message for your review.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

I have deleted this e-mail and a second similar one. I did enter my bank account immediately afterwards to check and no transactions had taken place. I would appreciate your comments on this. Regards, Max

Log in to Windows Live Messenger.

Click Tools Click Options Click on Sign In Uncheck “Start Windows Messenger when I log on to my computer”.

Click OK.

…that should sort it out for you.

ADVICE: Jim had forgotten his Hotmail password and wanted to reset it.

Hi, I have forgotten my Hotmail password, is there any way that I can get it back?

Q

Hi Jim, as long as you know the other “security” information related to your account then yes you can, you need to go to the website address https://account.live.com /resetpassword.aspx and complete the steps, that will enable you to reset your password.

A

A

Hi Max, the message is exactly what you suspected, it’s a scam, the link in the message will attempt to get you to enter your real banking information so that the scammer can access your account themselves. Banks will never email you with instructions in this way and any email that you believe to be suspicious, especially emails marked as spam, should be deleted. With regards to any action to take, if you clicked on the link in the message and entered your banking details then you should immediately contact Lloyds and tell them this – it sounds like you didn’t from your email. Other than that, relax, keep a close eye on your account for suspicious activity, but I suspect that everything is fine; you seem not to have compromised your Internet banking security.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, October 21, 2011

X-rated nights with Elvis and Divas IT’S X Factor with a twist at the Lounge Bar at Agua Nuevas throughout November.

Instead of girls, boys, over 25s and groups, the Lounge Bar categories are Elvis, Divas and Crooners.

So, if you think you’ve got the X Factor, get on down to the bar. And, as with the real X Factor, you don’t have to be talented to enter, just entertaining and up for a good laugh.

Of course, a few talented singers are

needed, too. Elvis wannabes will be performing on November 1, Divas on the 9th and Crooners on the 15th.

A grand finale, with the best acts from each group, will be held on November 23.

Entry for the nights is two euros, which will be donated to The Davila/Grewar Family Fund.

For further details, call The Lounge Bar on 96 692 2134.

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The Broadway Big Band will be filling the New Asturias Restaurant, Punta Prima, with the sounds of Ted Heath, Count Basie, Stan Kenton and other big band favourites this Sunday from 8pm.

Tickets cost €7 and a donation will be made to AECC Contra Cancer. For tickets email broadwaybigband@gmailcom , phone 679 576 591, or visit the restaurant.

More information on the work of AECC can be found at www.aecctorrevieja.org

FORTUNE COOKIE

Flesh-eating maggots offer recovery hope to rescue horse MAGGOTS, flown in especially from the UK, are being used to fight infection in a miniature horse at the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre in Rojales.

The horse, Cookie, suffers from laminitis, and has developed an infection in both front hooves. It is hoped the medical-quality maggots will penetrate deep into the infected area and eat any dead tissue.

“Maggots have been used in humans as a way of treating infected wounds for many years, and research has shown that wounds treated with maggots heal quicker than those treated with conventional medicine,” the rescue centre says.

The maggots were supplied in the form of larvae by Biomonde, a specialist company based in Wales.

MARIA WILSON and her Pink Ladies held their second According to Easy Horse annual End of Summer Ball last Friday - and it was pre- Care, this is the only compadictably a resounding success. ny supplying medical quality There were 129 people present and a total of €1,644 maggots in Europe. was raised on the night, taking the running total raised Sue Weeding, co-founder to an astonishing €33,562. of the rescue centre, told the The duo Diverse’s three-hour show had everyone Courier, “Because of the hordancing till the early hours, while magician Graham rendous condition that some Mykal mesmerised the guests at their tables with his fab- of our rescued horses are in, ulous illusions. we are using groundbreaking AECC Orihuela president Marisol Marcos Garcia was treatment methods. among the guests, along with some of her volunteers. ‘‘We are attracting and All proceeds will be donated to AECC’s early breast working with some of the top cancer detection programme. vets and specialists in Maria had another bout of chemotherapy for her own Europe and America.” cancer on Tuesday, and she and the Pink Ladies would Cookie was found on like to thank everyone who participated in making the waste ground in Benijofar in night a great success - including those who kindly April last year in a shocking donated prizes for the raffle. state. She was named Cookie because Sue saw immediately that she was a fighter – a tough little cookie.

THE Alzheimers Association invite you to ‘Come To The Since then Cookie has Fayre’ at the AFA Day Centre in Torrevieja tomorrow (Saturday) from 11am to 1pm.

There will be stalls for everyone and light refreshments will be served for just one euro!

Start your Christmas shopping here - there are so many bargains to be had and you’ll also be giving very valued support to a worthy cause.

Have you got some questions to ask? Come and see if we can give you the answers.

The AFA Day Centre is at Prolongacion Avenida Estacion 1 - Torrevieja.

Another €1,644 for AECC as Maria’s ladies have a ball

Come to the Fayre!

Putting on the style

FANCY a morning party? Looking Good Boutique and Gigi’s boutiques are presenting their Winter Collections amid cava and canapes at a dazzling Fashion Show on Friday October 28 (11am).

The event, at La Herredura in Los Montesinos, is in aid of Paul Cunningham Nurses and the price of your ticket (€10) is redeemable against any item purchased on the day or on your next visit to either boutique.

been nursed by the rescue centre and undergone pioneering leg surgery in Barcelona, performed by one of Spain’s top horse vets.

The Easy Horse Care Rescue centre is a registered Spanish charity with no official funding and Sue stresses that this pioneering treatment, and the care the rescue centre provides, is only possible because of generous donations from members of the public.

If you wish to make a donation, or sponsor Cookie or any of the other horses for as little as €5 a month, contact the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre on 652 021 980 or email rescue@easyhorsecare.net.

The centre is open to the public every day from 13:00 16:00. There are guided tours on Sundays and Wednesdays only. For further information visit: www.easyhorsecare.net

Save your Saturdays for AREA! MOST people have no idea that sunken treasure lies below the busy Filton commercial centre in Los Balcones.

Because AREA, as it is known, is one of the best function venues in Spain.

And on Saturdays, Jukebox Legends run a great Jukebox Music Night featuring dance music from the 50s, 60s and 70s.

So record X Factor and Strictly - and get yourselves down to AREA! Entry is just €5 – and your partner free if you book in advance at the box office (Cyber pub, 1st floor, Filton centre).

Entry on the night too – doors open 8pm, great food menu available. Call 608908720 or 695135134 for more details.

There is also a fantastic Halloween party at AREA on Monday October 31.

Tickets just €5.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

We’ve got a Thorne in our side!

OLD PALS: Willie Thorne and Gary Lineker

SNOOKER legend Willie Thorne has agreed to become Patron of HAH Help At Home.

Accepting the position at the recent Mar Menor Golf Society Captain’s Dinner, the current World Seniors champion said he felt honoured at being offered the role.

Willie, a familiar face these days as a TV commentator, works closely with many different charities, including being Patron and raising money regularly for

Rainbows Hospice for Children and Young People.

Other charities he is involved with include Sparks. Princes Trust, Froglife and the Variety Club.

Announcing the appointment of Thorne, the charity said in a press release: ‘’Top class performers in any sporting discipline are a rare breed but few have the ability to be truly entertaining and liked.

‘’A scarce commodity indeed that has made Willie one of the nation’s most popular sporting celebrities and one that HAH are proud to have as their Patron.’’

Willie, now 57 and the current World Seniors champion, was a regular in the world’s Top 16 for well over a decade. He still holds the world record for highest number of 147 breaks (190) – an achievement that earned him the nickname “Mr. Maximum”.

By George, the captain’s table’s piled high with helping hands THE Mar Menor Golf Society’s Captain’s Dinner Dance at the resort’s Intercontinental Hotel resort was a swinging success.

More than 150 golfers, owners, families and friends attended the event, which raised money for the charity Help at Home (HAH).

Trophies were presented by this year’s captain, George Fidler, and Help at Home’s Patron, current world seniors snooker champion Willie Thorne.

Lesley (the HAH founder), and Nurse Practitioner Lynda Christ-opher thanked Captain George, owners and friends for all the support given to HAH during the past year.

Willie Thorne thanked the Golf Society for the fantastic evening, the golf, and their usual hospitality, then had the diners in stitches recalling some of the hilarious moments, and sporting errors he encountered during his career.

Little Miss Dynamite, Suzi G, then put on a fabulous show with her girls, and soon had just about everyone up dancing. into the early hours.

HAH volunteers were invit-

Captain George, vice captain Bob Bushnell and Willie Thorne make the presentaations

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LA MARINA was buzzing on Tuesday evening as Patti Ross and Jukebox Legends received a standing ovation for the first show of their Dusty Springfield/Elkie Brooks tribute tour.

"Patti just blew everyone away with her voice, appearance and mannerisms,’’ ‘said Peter from Jukebox Promotions. ‘‘She was simply amazing and we can't wait to do the remaining shows.’’

Remaining tour dates are: Tuesday Oct 25 – ‘AREA’,

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Filton Centre, Los Balcones (ticket office at Cyber pub, 1st floor); Thursday Oct 27 – Rocajuna, Punta Prima (€10 to include FREE pre-show buffet at 7pm); Sunday Oct 30 - The Club, Quesada. All shows start at 8.30pm and end at 11.30pm.

Tickets for all shows are just €7.50 (block booking deal – pay for 10 and get 2 FREE except at Rocajuna).

Tickets from your chosen venue or call the info line on 695135134 - www.jukeboxpromotions.co.uk

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Captain George, Les Owen and Bob Bushnell on the stairs after presenting the cheque to HAH volunteers

ed back to the hotel last week to receive a cheque from Captain George totalling a staggering €4,920.

HAH founder Lesley thanked all concerned, Captain George, Les Owen, Bob Bushnell, owners, golfers, families and friends, for their generosity - and the ‘Friday Frolickers’ for their continued support, and the amount of work and events

they hold on behalf of HAH. Said Lesley: ‘’They are a fantastic bunch of people, and great fun to be around.”

If you’d like to become a HAH carer, call Angela on 603 517770, fundraising, Lesley 968 134 978, or need medical advice, telephone 633 673 034 or email helpathomespain@gmail.com The HAH website is www. helpathome.es

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Friday, October 21, 2011

How to Detangle Your Hair Ever go out in the wind and end up with a mass of tangles where your hair used to be? Have a rough night and wake up with a bird's nest on top of your head? Getting rid of the tangles at that point can be miserable and can damage your hair, but by following a few steps you can minimize the split ends and the headaches.

Some people will tell you that your hair is the most vulnerable when it's wet.

Actually, wet hair stretches more than dry hair does, which means that with gentle detangling, you can go easier on your hair by working on it while it's wet, which is why the following steps are for detangling in the shower.

Shampoo your hair as you

normally would, but be careful not to pull on knots while you work the shampoo in.

Condition your hair, and before washing it out, comb it through your hair with a wide-tooth comb.

Start at the ends and gently work up to the top. If some spots are more difficult than others, apply more conditioner and let it sit for a minute. This will allow your hair to slip out of the tangles more easily.

Rinse the conditioner out of your hair, gently combing the hair with your fingers as you do.

Pat your hair and wrap it in a towel, but don't rub it too much - that can cause new

tangles and won't be helpful.

Comb through the hair again, starting at the bottom.

If there are still knots, work them out carefully, using a single tooth of the comb when necessary If you must blow-dry your hair, do so on a low setting while preventing the hair from tangling while brushing from the bottom.

In the end, you should end up with smooth, tangle-free hair.

Weight Loss Tips Here are some everyday, helpful hints to get you started, keep you going, and help you stick to your diet.

1. Never leave home “starving.” Always have a light snack before eating dinner in a restaurant, such as a piece of fruit, a glass of juice or a carrot.

2. Don't go food shopping on an empty stomach! You'll be tempted to buy everything in sight.

3. Don't be tempted by treats. Store them out of view, off counter-tops and as out-of-reach as possible.

4. Don't eat in front of the TV. Watching the boob tube — instead of watching your plate — lulls you into overeating. Also avoid being tempted by food and snack commercials.

5. Make it a rule in your house to confine your meals to the dining room or kitchen table! Never eat standing up!

This leads to mindless snacking.

6. Think before you drink.

Alcohol adds lots of calories, but no nutrients. Also, it weakens your willpower to avoid the wrong food choices. Hangovers can cause wicked cravings for fatty or high carbohydrate foods that can sabotage any attempt at weight loss.

7. Fill up on soup first. Begin every meal with non-cream hot soup; it forces you to eat slowly and fills you up so you won't overeat.

8. Take time to taste your food. Don't gobble food down! Rushing through your meals doesn't give your brain the time that it needs to signal your body that you are full.

9. When dining out, request sauces and low-calorie dressings on the side.

10. There is no law that requires you to finish everything on your plate.

EMBARRASSED BY BAD BREATH? GEORGE Orwell wrote that "You can have affection for a murderer, but you cannot have affection for a man whose breath stinks." Whether you call it bad breath or halitosis, it’s an unpleasant condition that is cause for embarrassment. Some people with bad breath aren’t even aware there’s a problem. It is important to distinguish between TRANSIENT BAD BREATH such as bad morning breath and PERSISTENT (CHRONIC) BAD BREATH. Bad morning breath is due to reduced flow of saliva during sleep, and bacteria acting on stagnated food particles in the mouth.

If you don't brush and floss daily, particles of food remain in the mouth, collecting bacteria, which can cause bad breath. Food that collects between the teeth, on the tongue and around the gums can rot, leaving an unpleasant odour. In addition, what you eat affects the air you exhale. Certain foods, such as garlic and onions, contribute to objectionable breath odour. Once the food is absorbed into the blood, it is transferred to the lungs, where it is expelled.

Brushing, flossing and mouthwash will only mask the odour temporarily, and it will continue until the body eliminates the food. Bad breath can also be caused by dry mouth (xerostomia), which occurs when the flow of saliva decreases. Saliva is necessary to cleanse the mouth and remove particles that may cause odour.

Dry mouth may be caused by various medications,

salivary gland problems or continuously breathing through the mouth. Bad breath may also be the sign of a medical disorder, such as a local infection in the respiratory tract, chronic sinusitis, postnasal drip, chronic bronchitis, diabetes, gastrointestinal disturbance, liver or kidney ailment.

WAYS TO CURE BAD BREATH While most bad breath can be banished with simple hygienic steps, there are times when dental or medical conditions might be the culprit. Make an appointment with your dentist if you notice persistent odour coming from your mouth. Your dentist will be able to pinpoint any cavities or decay, or even periodontal (gum) disease that might be causing your bad breath.

Because on rare occasions bad breath can signal a larger problem, including infection, and even kidney or liver disease you should also visit a doctor if your dentist doesn't find a cause for your bad breath problem.

Bad breath often strikes when people aren't properly taking care of their oral health. The odour is usually caused by decaying food particles and bacteria in your mouth. That's why brushing and flossing your teeth is so important, but don't forget to gently brush your tongue to get rid of even more bacteria.

Believe it or not, saliva is your best weapon against bad breath. That's where sugarless gum comes in handy, as chewing it will stimulate saliva production.

Mints, on the other hand, don't usually stimulate saliva production and only temporarily mask bad odour.

Water keeps the level of bacteria in the mouth to a minimum. Since you might not even notice when you are thirsty, you should make drinking water a habit.

Gargle with baking soda dissolved in warm water.

This is a good home remedy for bad breath.

Dr. Machi Mannu is a neuro repatterning Specialist.

Email contact@mindspa.es for any question.

Friday, October 21, 2011

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Friday, October 21, 2011

ROOMY TWIZY SUITS PRINCE CROWN Prince Felipe expressed his enthusiasm for Renault's Twizy, the first electric automobile to be built wholly in Spain, during a visit to the French multinational's factory in Valladolid last week.

Felipe of Borbón inaugurated Renault's new Z.E. industrial workshop, where production of the Twizy will begin in November, ready for a market launch in France by the end of the year and in Spain in March 2012.

The prince got to drive one of the Twizzies that have already been manufactured at the plant and "liked it very much", according to the Minister for Industry, Miguel Sebastián, who joined the prince in Valladolid.

Speaking to the press after the event, the minister said that "from outside il looked as if the prince was going to be uncomfortable and squashed, because of the Twizy's tiny proportions. But not at all. The design makes it very roomy inside, no matter how

tall you are", he added.

The Minister also pledged his support for the automobile, saying its success would not be limited solely to "towns and cities", but also "for tourists", through initiatives such as "hourly rental packages".

For his part, Renault's Director of Comunication, Jesús Presa, reiterated that Felipe de Borbón ‘’liked the innovation, the design and the whole global concept of the electric car".

He added that the prince had been "frankly impressed" by the Twizy and went away with a "great impression" of it.

Some 130 people will work on the Valladolid production line manufacturing the Twizy exclusively for the whole world. The new 9,000 sqaure metre factory will produce 12 vehicles an hour, equating to 20,000 units a year, although production could be increased to as many as 60,000 vehicles per year if there were sufficient demand worldwide.

AutoMaster

AUTOMASTER was first established under the trade name Cava Motors, selling and repairing used cars in Madrid in the early 1980s. We are members of the Association of Professional Spanish Car Traders and Association of Automobiles of Almoradi.

Our staff have been with the company for many years and speak both English and Spanish.

With more than 15 years’ experience in the Alicante area, AutoMaster has built a solid reputation with many repeat customers.

We offer finance, insurance, body and mechanical work in our workshops with all you need for your vehicle, transfer of paperwork in less than 48 hours, personal attention and English personnel to assist you.

All of our cars have a 12-months guarantee a full pre-deliver check, valet and M.O.T. Visit the web page: www.grupoautomaster.com Email: rherrerogomez@msn.com Choose from our range of stock. For more information see our main advertisement below or call Gary (English) at 620 112 120 or Robert (Spanish) at 658 961 655.

Friday, October 21, 2011

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World’s strangest car doors IT'S unlikely you've ever given much thought to the doors on your car. You pull the handles and they open; there's little more to it than that. Actually, there is, the doors are integral to the car's structure and need to be capable of being opened after an accident. Even so they remain largely the same in all cars, though there is the odd exception - and some of them are very odd indeed.

CAR: Mercedes-Benz 300SL Gullwing, Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG, Mercedes-Benz C111, Bristol Fighter, DeLorean DMC-12 DOORS: Gullwing The 300SL's gullwing doors are a result of its lightweight structure taking up so much of the sills that Mercedes-Benz had to come up with another door solution. It's been copied by a few, the recent Bristol Fighter featuring

Ferrari's Enzo, the SSC Aero and the Saleen S7 are other cars to feature the twin-hinged doors, which tumble up and away from you when you open them. If they're all out of your reach (the cars, not the doors) then perhaps seek out Toyota's Sera, which bizarrely adopted butterfly doors, too.

CAR: Bond Bug, Saab Aero-X Concept, Murray T.25 DOORS: Front-opening canopy Why have two doors when you can simply lift the entire front canopy off for yourself?

That's what you do in the Bond Bug (a quirky orange three-wheeler made in the early Seventies), or Gordon Murray's forthcoming T.25 city car. The lift-open canopy has long

'Scissor' opening doors are a Lamborghini design signature since the Countach was introduced. It's a dramatic way to get in and out of Lamborghini's V12 range-topping

been a feature of concept cars, with Saab and Maserati being recent devotees to the canopy with their Aero-X and Birdcage 75th concepts.

CAR: Caterham 7, Jeep Wrangler DOORS: Removable If it's good enough for Daisy Duke (her cousins preferring their doors welded shut) then it's fine for us too. Jeeps have long had doors that can be removed should you need to, and it's also possible on old Land Rovers.

models. Just in case arriving in a superexotic, mid-engined Italian wedge isn't a big enough statement. Adopted by car modifiers the world-over, 'Lambo doors' can now be seen on a wide range of cars - with varying degrees of success.

CAR: McLaren F1, Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, Ferrari Enzo DOORS: Butterfly doors

Caterham's 7 also offers 'doors' that are removable, but they're little more than lightweight flaps to hang the wing mirrors off.

CAR: Strathcarron SC-5, Lotus 340-R, Ariel Atom, Light Car Company Rocket DOORS: None This bunch demonstrates that when light

Butterfly-style doors feature on the mighty McLaren F1, the company liking the forwards and upwards motion so much it replicated it on the SLR it built for Mercedes.

DOH!

that has doors that slide down out of the way - though an American firm Kaiser did produce some models with so-called 'pocket doors'.

CAR: Rolls-Royce Phantom, Rolls-Royce Ghost, Mazda RX-8, MINI Clubman, Vauxhall Meriva DOORS: Suicide doors DOORS: Bars The bars that masquerade as doors on Smart's limited edition Crossblade might as well not exist for all the protection they promise. More like the safety bar on a fairground ride than proper door, the tiny black bars fold up and in-front of you when you open them.

A car for masochistic extroverts, the Crossblade does without a windscreen too, so it's best kept for sunny days.

the distinctive roof-hinged doors, but for one generation gullwing doors will forever be associated with the DeLorean DMC-12 immortalised in the Back to the Future films.

Mercedes-Benz revived the gullwing when it introduced the SLS AMG. CAR: Lamborghini Countach, Diablo and Murcielago DOORS: Lamborghini 'scissor' doors

weight is the goal then the doors are superfluous. As often are other niceties like proper bodywork, windscreens or any attempt at weather protection. Buy some waterproofs then, or check the weather before going out, as these rapid automotive bathtubs will ensure you get wet if you take them out in the rain. Huge fun though.

CAR: Smart Crossblade

CAR: BMW Z1 DOORS: Disappearing doors BMW's edgy Z1 roadster is most memorable due to its unique disappearing doors.

The doors slide down into the car's sills and the Z1 can be driven with the doors up or down. Said to be inspired by early roadsters and their removable doors, the Z1 remains the only production car (that we know of)

The suicide - or 'coach' as Rolls-Royce prefers to call them - door is nothing more than a rear-hinged version of a conventional door. The name comes from an old worry of the door opening on the move and that you'll falling out, or that should the car move when you get out it'll trap you. More usually used for the rear of a car, the coach door gives great access, particularly if space is tight in the back - like MINI's Clubman and Mazda's RX-8.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

This week we are talking about body shapes and how to dress for each shape.

How Do You Shape Up?

Hourglass

Strawberry

Bring out your best: Wrap dresses, waist-cinching belts and flared or wide leg jeans will work wonders. Not necessarily all at once.

Best to avoid: Shapeless baggy jumpers will hide your wonderful waist.

Unless you add that magic belt of course!

Pear

Sassy strawberryshaped ladies have a figure that’s bigger up top than on their bottom half because of broad shoulders and/or big boobs in relation to their waist and hips.

Broad shoulders or bigger boobs can make you look top heavy, but there are a few simple ways to soften your shape!

Curvy hourglass girls go in at the middle, often with a fuller bust and bottom to contrast with the smaller waist. You’re blessed with a very sexy shape so you need to learn not to drown it in too-baggy clothes but also not go too overtly sexy either unless that’s the look you’re going for!

Best to avoid:

If you are a bottom-heavy beauty and are bigger around the hips, bottom or thighs than you are up top then, like the majority of women, you are a Pear! You’ve probably also got a fairly flat stomach, you lucky thing. Work that womanly figure by adding more shape and structure above the waist.

Balance out your curvy bottom half with bold bright tops or tops with large collars, lapels or sleeves.

Bring out your best:

Bring out your best:

A structured coat that cinches in with a belt will make you look more curvy. If you’ve a small bust you can get away with tricky-to-wear high-necked tops.

Empire line and longer length tops will flatter your figure. Go for lowish necklines to draw the eye upwards.

Low rise jeans and trousers can make your torso look too long.

Stay away from sheath dresses and stick to styles with more shape instead.

How to dress for your shape A belt or single button will bring in your waist, creating a curvy effect

Pear Shape

The large over the top collar brings the eye up and away from your hips!

Look out for V necks to draw attention upwards

Puffed sleeves or any shoulder details will balance out your shape and draw the eye upwards

A jacket sitting just above your hip line will really flatter your shape

Strawberry Shape The long V neck draws attention away from your shoulders and towards the waist

The magic belt never fails! It will pull your waist in to create a more desired shape

The asymmetric hemline takes eyes away from your top half

If you are the Apple of someone’s eye then you’re pretty in proportion but tend to carry your weight around your mid section without a well-define waist.

You may also have fabulous legs and/ or boobs so dressing is all about showing off those best bits and avoiding adding volume round your middle

Rectangle ladies are fairly straight up and down though don’t always have the boyish chest to match.

Many women would kill for your shape; there’s no main area you want to minimise so you can get away with more things than most. However you may crave more curves – an illusion easily created with the right clothing.

Best to avoid:

Best to avoid: Tube, pencil and fishtail skirts, especially tight-fitting ones, will only emphasise your hips and behind.

Shoulder pads and tapering trousers are an absolute no-no!

Also steer clear of puff sleeves, epaulettes and halternecks

Apple

Rectangle

Bring out your best:

Bring out your best: Fuller skirts and wide leg trousers will balance out your bodyshape beautifully. Don’t be afraid of bright colour on your bottom half.

Choose fashion for a bigger bust like V-necks and wrap tops.

FIGURE IT OUT HERE

Apple Shape

A cropped fit is always flattering, also look out for A line coats to hide your tummy!

These frills add a girly touch to your less feminine figure

A bow belt is both girly and pratical as it pulls in your waist to give you some curves!

Best to avoid: Short, boxy jackets and pleated or tiered skirts are not your friends.

Cast them out now and feel forever better.

Learn how to find the perfect Autumn coat / jacket with our tips and advice Draw attetion away from your middle by showing off some cleavage!

Hourglass Shape

A trench coat is the perfect coat for your figure

Having a belt will really show off your tiny waist

Rectangle Shape The frills at the bottom add volume to your shape.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Westlife After 14 years, 14 number 1’s and sales of 44 million records worldwide, westlife announce they are splitting.

The foursome said: “The decision is entirely amicable and after spending all of our adult life together so far, we want to have a well-earned break and look at new ventures.” However rumors of fall-outs have been blamed for the split.

The news comes just 24 hours after announcing a new UK tour, “The Fairwell Tour”, starting May 2012 in Newcastle and ending at Londons 02 Arena.

Westlife are also due to release a greatest hits album on 21st November.

Steps Get ready to stomp all night because Steps are going back on tour.

Yes you heard it, Steps are going back on the road.

After appearing for the first time on ‘This Morning’ they announced their fifteen-date UK arena tour entitled 'The Ultimate Tour', planned for April 2012.

The group reformed this year for a four-part documentary series titled ‘Steps: The Reunion’.

Britney Spears The pop princess is in trouble after her video for new single “Criminal” supposedly glamourises gun crime.

In the video Britney robs a shop and MP Diane Abbot was furious with her for running around with a fake gun in the wake of the London riots.

The Stone Roses Manschester band the Stone Roses are roumored to be reuniting.

Former best friends lead singer Ian Brown and guitarist John squire had the chance to meet at the funeral of bass player Gary Mountfield’s mother and bury the hatchet so to speak.

"It was an emotional reunion, there were no harsh words. It was a heart-warming breaking of bread.”

UB40 Depspite their glittering 33 year career 4 leading members of reggae group UB40 are bankrupt and tax officers are now able to seize property from the members to pay off the debt.

The group split after a bitter bust up over finances when the bands management company DEP International collapsed.

Benidorm Pride 2011

UK Top 10 Singles

Benidorms Gay Business Association's aim, in association with ALGTB Benidorm, is to raise 100,000€ for local charities by holding ‘Benidorm Gay Pride 2011’. The venue, originally planed to be held on the beach, has had to be moved to the larger Park in Benidorm using the Julio Iglesias Stadium.

1. Rihanna (Ft. Calvin Harris) ‐ We Found Love 2. Maroon 5 (Ft. Christina Aguilera) ‐ Moves Like Jagger 3. Gym Class Hereos (Ft. Adam Levine) ‐ Stereo Hearts 4. Christina Perri ‐ Jar Of Hearts 5. LMFAO ‐ Sexy And I Know It 6. Matt Cardle ‐ Run For Your Life 7. Charlene Soraia ‐ Where Ever You Will Go 8. Sak Noel ‐ Loca People 9. Ed Sheeran ‐ The A Team 10. One Direction ‐ What Makes You Beautiful

Starting on Friday 21st untill Sunday 23rd there will be lots going on in Benidorm’s Old Town. The Main stage closes at 10pm each night and then 2 satellite stages open untill 2am.

Professor Green Read All About it British rapper Professor Green is releasing his latest single this week. It is the lead single from his second studio ablum ‘At Your Convenience’, which is released later this month and features vocals from Scottish recording artist Emeli Sandé.

Cher Lloyd Coldplay 7 time Grammy award winners Coldplay, are performing at Madrids Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas on Wednesday, October 26th.

According to the bands website they are going to stream the concert live via the bands YouTube page at 10pm on the day.

With Your Love (Ft. Mike Posner) This is the second single to be released on October 30th

by Cher Lloyd following her success on the X Factor.

The single is taken from her debut ablum ‘Sticks & Stones’ which is out in November.

JLS

Take A Chance On Me The boys are back with their The band who are releasing latest single their 5th album Mylo Xyloto due to be on October 24th have sold released on over 50 million records 7th November. worldwide.

This is from their third album released 14th November.

Spanish Top 10 Singles 1. Pitbull (Ft. Marc Anthony) ‐ Rain Over Me 2. Juan Magan ‐ Ballando Por Ahi 3. Don Omar (Ft. Lucenzo) ‐ Danza Kuduro 4. India Martínez ‐ Vencer Al Amor 5. Maroon 5 (Ft. Christina Aguilera) ‐ Moves Like Jagger 6. Auryn ‐ Last Night On Earth 7. Pablo Alnoran ‐ Perdóname 8. Pitbull ‐ Give Me Everything 9. Niña Pastori ‐ Cuando Te Beso 10. Israel Iz Kamakawio’ole ‐ Over The Rainbow

TKO GOLD’s Pop Quiz!!

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist.

Once you have found the key word listen in to Chris Ashley’s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am ‐ 12pm

PRIZE: A MEAL FOR 2 AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS 1. This soulman was in with the In Crowd in 1965.

2. This pianist played Side Saddle.

3. This band formed in the 70s took their name from an instrument of torture.

4. Peter was with The Herd & Humble Pie. 5. An American band & a dog belonging to Dorothy.

6. What name did Andy Bell & Vince Clarke record under.

7. First hit for Tommy Steel.

8. How is 70s funkster Sylvester Stewart better known.

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PROGRAMMING ON TKO FM 8am - 11am: Mornings Are Fun with Andy James 11am - 2pm: AM to PM with Dennis Christian 2pm - 5pm: Davy Jones’ Afternoon Lock - In 5pm – 8pm: The Ultimate Drive Time Show with Rachel Angus Tuesday Night: 8pm - 11pm Andy James Old Skool Disco

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PROGRAMMING ON TKO GOLD 8am - 11am: The All New Breakfast Show with Chris Ashley 11am - 2pm: The Golden Lunch with Alex Trelinski 2pm - 6pm: Afternoon Tea with Darren James 6pm – 9pm: Sundowners with Dave Knights

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Friday, October 21, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 6 represents H and 26 represents G, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Turned down (7) 5 Decorative containers (5) 8 Tight (5) 9 Communication (7) 10 Circuit (3) 11 Regal (5) 12 Sum (5) 13 Posts (5) 16 Simmer (4) 18 Stern (4) 20 Borders (5) 23 Carries (5) 24 Jobs (5) 26 Age (3) 27 Seems (7) 28 Knife (5) 29 Blockade (5) 30 Panorama (7)

Last weeks Solution

Down 1 Stops work (7) 2 Humorous (5) 3 Aromas (6) 4 Moisten (6) 5 Calls on (6) 6 Disperse (7) 7 Make off with (5) 14 Finish (3) 15 Owed (3) 17 Specimen (7) 19 Enigma (7) 20 Property (6) 21 Visitors (6) 22 Balanced (6) 23 Alloy of copper and zinc (5) 25 Reserve (5)

Across: 1 Race, 3 Capsule, 9 Parrots, 10 Peace, 11 Among, 12 Survive, 13 Scream, 15 Ragged, 18 Because, 19 Kings, 21 Extra, 22 Nothing, 23 Already, 24 Beds.

Down: 1 Repeats, 2 Cargo, 4 Assist, 5 Supermarkets, 6 Leading, 7 Congratulate, 8 Mere, 14 Recital, 16 Designs, 17 Penned, 18 Beef, 20 Noise.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Grow weak when fed a stew (4) 3 It’s a ‘no-no’ in the photographic business (8) 9 Runaway sheep and doggy breath (7) 10 Topping perhaps on Sugar Loaf Mountain (5) 11 Spoilt fictional end is classified (12) 13 It’s a wrap alternative for no rags (6) 15 Dad comes back with fruit. Look! (6) 17 High-rise conurbations?

(5,2,5) 20 Girl involved one in love entanglement (5) 21 Where the stage is set for an operation (7) 22 Upset voter, run off (8) 23 Worry about guitar part (4)

Down 1 Predict crates of jumble (8) 2 Fiend starts a demonstration (5) 4 Here it is not exactly one of two (6) 5 A dramatist from Athens is a pro (12) 6 I’m going to a London art museum to reproduce (7) 7 The sharp side of the aged generally shows (4) 8 An old Tibetan reformed the budget deficit (8,4) 12 The professionals’ exercise caught mine (8) 14 A heavy defeat in the East is everyday (7) 16 Watch for Orion (6) 18 Go inside Dame Ellen Terry (5) 19 One for the road is potentially boorish, no sir (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Foretell (8) 2 Evil spirit (5) 4 One of two (6) 5 Ancient Greek dramatist (12) 6 Copy (7) 7 Border (4) 8 Money borrowed by the government (8,4) 12 Outlook (8) 14 Procedure (7) 16 Person who searches for something (6) 18 Go into (5) 19 Vagrant (4)

Across 1 Lose colour (4) 3 Unfavourable (8) 9 Out of control (7) 10 Cake topping (5) 11 Top secret (12) 13 Loose skirt (6) 15 Seem (6) 17 Urban zones (5,2,5) 20 Yellow green colour (5) 21 Playhouse (7) 22 Capsize (8) 23 Be anxious (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Trance, 4 Organs, 9 Origami, 10 Staid, 11 Hindi, 12 Entwine, 13 Cutting edge, 18 Resists, 20 Shake, 22 Irate, 23 Elegant, 24 Scene, 25 Strewn.

Down: 1 Trophy, 2 Alien, 3 Chariot, 5 Resit, 6 Amazing, 7 Sadden, 8 Hide-and-seek, 14 Upstage, 15 Easiest, 16 Orbits, 17 Merton, 19 Suede, 21 Awake.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

6 letter words Oven Pen 3 letter words Aprons Pima Pep Ago Assert Poor Sad Any Shares Sire See Boo Sordid Spas Sip Col 7 letter words Teed Spy Doe Artisan 5 letter words Tab Eve Hotness Chats Toe Eye Mention Copra Yet Gin Palpate Davit 4 letter words Hen 8 letter words Hides Agin Hop Beetroot Horny Alba Ice Espresso Items Deny Ira 11 letter Loopy Gong Mag words Opens Idea Nan Interpolate Pipes Ides Oat Threatening Slimy Magi One Nova Opt

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 More (3) 3 Sacacorcho (9) 8 Knee (7) 9 Wide (street, river, trousers) (5) 10 Plato (para comer) (5) 11 Obtener (6) 13 Centuries (6) 15 Cine (arte) (6) 18 Hunger (for food) (6) 20 Cansado (person, eyes) (5) 23 Cocineros (5) 24 Terrace (patio, verandah) (7) 25 Hombros (9) 26 As (naipes) (3)

Down 1 Butterfly (entomología) (8) 2 Cider (5) 3 Cauldron (7) 4 Razón (facultad) (6) 5 Principio (comienzo) (5) 6 Recibir (letter, gift, money, visit, salary, sacrament) (7) 7 Madera (material) (4) 12 Hecho a mano (8) 14 Granary (7) 16 Interest (curiosity) (7) 17 Escarabajo (insecto) (6) 19 Albahaca (5) 21 Flood (5) 22 Helados (4)

33

Friday, October 21, 2011 Across 1 Which four-act Puccini opera, set in the Paris Latin Quarter, begins with Mimi and Rodolfo falling in love on Christmas Eve? (2,6) 7 Which thick, malleable mixture of flour and liquid, is used for baking into bread or pastry? (5) 8 Which North American river rises in the Rocky Mountains and flows 3,030 km generally south-eastwards to the Gulf of Mexico, forming the US-Mexico frontier from El Paso to the sea? (3,6) 9 What name is given to an aggressive dog or one that is in poor condition, especially a mongrel? (3) 10 What name is given to large semicircular or polygonal recess in a church, arched or with a domed roof and typically at the church’s eastern end? (4) 11 Which major Italian seaport was styled ‘la serenissima’ (‘the most serene’ or ‘sublime’)?

(6) 13/17 Who was the 40th president of the USA? (6,6) 14 Orson who’s most notable films were Citizen Kane (1941) and The Third Man (1949)? (6) 17 See 13 18 Which skin condition characterised by red pimples on the skin, especially on the face, is due to inflamed or infected sebaceous glands and prevalent chiefly among adolescents? (4) 20 Yerba maté, oolong, souchong, Darjeeling and Assam are all types of what? (3) 22 See 6 Down 23 What name is given to the positively charged electrode

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

by which the electrons leave an electrical device? (5) 24 Phil who played Sgt Bilko on television? (7) Down 1 What name is applied to the active immature form of an

insect, especially one that differs greatly from the adult and forms the stage between egg and pupa? (5) 2 Charles who starred as Paul Kersey in the Death Wish series of films? (7) 3 According to Greek mythology, which grief stricken priestess threw herself into the sea because her lover, Leander, had drowned trying to swim the Hellespont to see her? (4) 4 Which slow, stately ballroom dance for two in triple time, was especially popular in the 18th century? (6) 5 Which rare large cat is also known as the snow leopard? (5) 6/22 Which US aviator made the first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean in May 1927?

(7,9) 7 What was the surname of the French composer and organist, whose best-known works are the ballets Coppélia and Sylvia? (7) 12 Which adjective means easily bent or flexible? (7) 13 What was the title of the Boomtown Rats’ first British number one hit single? (3,4) 15 Which lake in central Switzerland is also called the Lake of the Four Cantons? (7) 16 What name is given to small rooms used as hot-air or steam baths for cleaning and refreshing the body? (6) 17 Rn is the chemical symbol for which rare radioactive gas? (5) 9 What name is given to the characteristic spirit of a culture, era, or community as manifested in its attitudes and aspirations? (5) 21 According to the Bible, what was the name of the second son of Adam and Eve, murdered by his brother Cain?

(4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Huesos – Bones

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

science QUIZ 1. How Did Nylon Get It's Name?

2. Which Flightless Bird From Mauritus Is Now Extinct?

3. how many days will it be before a clock, losing 30 minutes a day shows the right time again?

4. What are young bats called?

5. Which Port Handles The Greatest Amount Of Trade In The World?

6. Who Invented The British Jet Engine?

7. What Is Represented By The Blue And White Quartered Circle Of The BMW Logo?

8. Does The Water Run Clockwise Or Anti Clockwise Down A Plug Hole In Britain?

9. Who Was The First American To Go Into Orbit In Space?

10. what non-working stingless bee mates with the queen?

11. What links Iguanas, Koalas and Kimono Dragons?

12. Of What Is Ethylene Glycol The Main Ingredient?

13. What does a drosomoter measure?

1. Developed In New York & London 2. The Dodo 3. twenty four 4. Pups 5. Rotterdam, The Netherlands 6. Frank Whittle 7. A Spinning Propellor 8. Anti Clockwise 9. John Glenn 20th Feb 1962 10. a drone 11. Two Penises 12. Anti Freeze 13. Dew

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Aviatrix, 7 Igloo, 8/22 Ludwig van Beethoven, 9/17D Ned Kelly, 10 Slag, 11 Indict, 13 Vassal, 14 Pedant, 17 Kelpie, 18 Duel, 20 Ire, 23 Alloy, 24 Asbestos.

Down: 1 Atlas, 2 Indians, 3 Twin, 4 Irving, 5 Blunt, 6 Fondant, 7 Infidel, 12 Wallaby, 13 Vatican, 15 Aquavit, 16 Biceps, 19 Links, 21 Shoe.

13.

14.

15.

16.

18.

sacro, omoplato, coccix, clavicula, 17. tibia, perone.

a. sacrum, b. canine, c. ribs, d. teeth, e. molars, f. spinal

T I X MR H OL C F OT A D M B QF C A P U OU L MI L L A UE OV Y X S E L F HB I ON A L QMA T I I S ON I D S D D L Y S I D ML MOOA R B I V P UL A L E NA T NOF F B Y QL COCX HZ RRA CF U P A U C I S R MI D E X S P L S T C P MV OOF I T I QA A L OMOP L A T OE S C B OL X OE NA RCL NNE CGE X V N I R S WI O C T K O A I X X F E MU R R I I E L C B R J MS OR Z E A J J S U H U R K R S R M P WI O Q B X M D WU Soduko

Span - Eng

column, g. fibula, h. jaw, i. nasal bone, j. maxilla, k. tibia, l. scapula, m. coccyx, n. fontanelle, o. sternum, p. skull, q. femur, r. clavicle.

Answers: 1j, 2h, 3c, 4o, 5f, 6p, 7i, 8b, 9d, 10e, 11n, 12q, 13a, 14l, 15m, 16r, 17k, 18g.

1. maxilar, 2. mandibula, 3. costillas, 4. esternon, 5. columna-vertebral, 6. craneo, 7. huesonasal, 8. colmillo, 9. dientes, 10. molares, 11. fontanela,12. femur,

CLAVICULA

HUESO-NASAL

COCCIX

MANDIBULA

COLMILLO

MAXILAR

COSTILLAS

MOLARES

CRANEO

OMOPLATO

DIENTES

PERONE

ESTERNON

SACRO

FEMUR

TIBIA

FONTANELA Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, October 21, 2011

Horoscopes

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 Your brain is overflowing with ideas, some of which are truly brilliant and you must focus on making your dreams a reality. "Rankle" is a beautiful word, but may blow your world apart today. Bask in the glory of your achievements today.

Daughter has gone ashtray…

Taurus April 20 - May 20

Dear Rose, I have a serious problem.

We moved to Spain 3 years ago and my 15 year old daughter attends the local school. She has integrated well and has lots of Spanish friends. Two days ago I found a packet of cigarettes hidden in our garden shed and was horrified.

Neither I or my husband smoke so we have not set her a bad example. I don't know how to deal with this. rible as I have ruined their lives and yet it is so ridicuCan you advise us? lous as we have never met DEBBIE,ALMORADI and are thousands of miles away. We have spoken Dear Debbie. I'm every day on the phone sorry to hear about and it always ends in her this as I know how worrycrying and saying she is so ing it must be for the both confused and upset. What of you. You are going to can I do? have to discuss this with PAUL, Algorfa. you daughter and tell her Dear Paul. This is how upset you are and indeed a very seriabout the dangers to her ous situation. I feel very health.

The trouble is that in sorry for all of you. I can Spain so many people imagine at the beginning still smoke and it does of this relationship that not seem to have attained for this girl it was like a romance. the social stigma that is fairytale Handsome charming now present in the U.K. English boy showing If you can catch this great interest in a houseearly and persuade her to wife and mother with a try to stop now, maybe very dull and humdrum she will be able to give it life. up. Discuss all the methUnfortunately things ods of help available e.g. patches, hypnosis etc have got out of hand and and tell her you will be her fantasy is ruining he able to help her in every life. You must stop this possible way. Perhaps association immediately. tell her it isn't very cool to You must tell her things smell like an ashtray and have gone too far and perhaps this will help her there is no future in it. give up. Best of luck.

You could even lie and tell her you have met a girl in your area and that you have fallen in love with her and that she knows about your friendship and she has asked you to stop. I know this I have a very serious will be difficult for you problem and don't know but something must be how to solve it. Two years done and maybe this will ago I started to talk with a be the kindest way. woman in America. She is Internet chatting is a 32 years old and a mother very dangerous thing and of five. She's not very in your case epitomises happy in her marriage but comes from a religious the worst case scenario. I background (her father is a do hope you will try my Pastor) so she just went advice. along with things.

As we got more friendly she started to think she was in love with me and now I am the centre of her life. I am very fond of her but do not feel the same Dear Rose, way.

I am in a moral dilemma.

Now she has told her husband and he is com- My mother is in hospital pletely destroyed. I feel ter- dying of cancer. It is terrible

l

l

I’ve’ruined my lover’s marriage

Hostipple dilemma over mum!

Any spikes that you see in your power usage may be due to unforeseen and deadly circumstances. The mental problem you are having may subside later this week once you relax about things.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Put your mental abilities to the test today and try to figure out how best to spend the money you have in a non-frivolous way. My gift to you is this wisdom: he who makes love at awkward angle, gets back problems for next day.

Cancer June 21 - July 22

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es to see her as she is pitifully thin and constantly in pain.

I visit her every day and my heart is breaking. She has always liked a drink and has asked me to bring in a bottle of wine when I come.

Should I do this? I'm sure the hospital will not approve but I feel it would give my mother a bit of happiness.

What can I do?

MARY, BENIJOFAR.

l

Dear Mary. I can understand your problem. I think the only advice I can give here is to go with your conscience. The only problem is knowing exactly what medication your mother is on and whether it would cause her an extremely adverse reaction. Try asking the doctor if he agrees that really there would be no harm done - then go ahead and indulge your mother with anything she desires.

Do you have the bottle!

Dear Rose I have been reading your column for the last few weeks - and really enjoy it.

I do not have a problem of my own but wanted to share some advice with newly-married girls.

When I was first married my husband decided that he would like to experiment a little instead of our normal love life. He said that he had a fantasy concerning wine bottles!

I immediately replied "How amazing, so have I!" His face lit up. I immediately went to the drinks cabinet and brought out a clean bottle and said: "OK,

I’ll go first"! Just thought that I would share that with your readers. Carry on the good work.

Best wishes FRAN, PUNTA PRIMA.

l

Dear Fran. Thanks for sharing that with us. I am sure this will be very helpful for new brides!

Naked Cleaner I FOUND high heels and stockings in the boot of my wife's car along with a business card offering nude cleaning.

I'm 38 and my wife's 31.

We've been married for 10 years and have a good sex life but recently I've noticed that my wife's going out more often and at strange times of the day. That's what made me going looking for clues in her car.

I emailed the address on the card under a false name to find out more. My wife replied saying she did nude cleaning by the hour.

She then sent me a naked photo of herself offering hand relief or oral. I was so shocked I haven't said anything yet.

FRED, ALICANTE

l

You've got to confront her over this.

You won't for long be able to stand the thought of what she's doing with other men.

Insist she stops this work now but ask if there's anything lacking in your relationship she gets from the other guys.

If it's just cash she's looking for, help her find work that won't wreck your relationship.

Gambling with your possessions always seems like a good idea at the time. However, you should be aware that much of your meddling will eventually lead to a loss of limbs for someone. You have been warned before, so don't let today catch you out.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Having a box of tissues close to hand might become important over the coming minutes. Taking a bit-part in a local theatre production may help you get out and start living a lie.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Prepare to gape widely at the beautiful horror you'll experience this month. Until the time comes where you are able to do something about it, defer all your anger to the television shows you waste your life watching.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Express yourself, do a backflip, try to do the splits. Dance and the world will be yours. Even in the darkest places you can find yourself - although you may break your nose on a door.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 It can be scary, sad and lonely. Are you sure you want to go ahead with your plans? Kissing horses in an otherwise empty paddock is fair game today. Enjoy yourself and try not to go too wild.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Something will stir your memory today and it may take a few hours for you to resolve your sense of deja vu. You can't hide from the rest of the day, so I suggest you burst headlong into it without waiting for anyone to catch up.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Your selfish ways will not improve this week as you win a sizeable jackpot on the lottery. The music you have been listening to has been tainted by the devil.

Mouldy coffee cups may not be breeding the penicillin you hope they are.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Having to stop today and go to sleep will seem like a prison sentence. Being sexy and being sexist are not one and the same. Your face may become sore and chapped today due to all the slapping.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 I've written hundreds upon hundreds of horoscopes, but this one is the most special.

Everything will go wrong today. Including this horoscope. Walking down the street with a spring in your step is a great way to let the world know how insufferable you really are.

35

Friday, October 21, 2011

TRELI ON THE TELLY PALIN’S TRIP TEASE MICHAEL PALIN has a lot to answer for, and I’m not just referring to his part in the famous Monty Python ‘Dead Parrot’ sketch.

No, some 23 years ago, when he was made an offer to travel around the world in fewer than 80 days, he helped to unleash a whole tranche of celebrities who would dip their toes into the world of TV travel documentaries.

Make absolutely no mistake about it, Palin is the king of this kind of TV, which he does superbly. And he’s currently working on a new series about Brazil, as well as being President of the Royal Geographical Society.

Amazingly enough, his Brazilian adventures, to be transmitted next autumn, will be his first series in over five years, so I’m sure it will be well worth the wait.

In the meantime, we have to content ourselves with offerings from Paul Merton and Joanna Lumley, both of whom do a decent job in keeping the celebrity travel flag flying.

Merton produced excellent series for Channel 5 visiting India and China, whilst his latest effort, which started on Wednesday night, has a mixed bag of international locations.

The first show had him in the Caribbean Sea on the world’s largest cruise liner, ‘Allure of the Seas’.

Merton has the Palin knack of being very English and asking questions that are so obvious. He also makes witty observations that you wish that you could make yourself in a similar situation if only your brain was quick enough. Both, of course, have their roots steeped in comedy, which Lumley doesn’t.

On her Greek Odyssey series for ITV1, you don’t get the funny one-liners Palin and Merton come up with, but instead you do get somebody who is genuine and enthusiastic as well as sincere.

She’s also got a good production team who have

with ALEX TRELINSKI

researched Greece inside out. I know the country well, having nearly moved to Corfu myself three years ago, so it was great to see that island featuring last night.

But there was nothing as bizarre as the previous week’s episode which featured a group of people who seemed to communicate like The Clangers with a set of curious whistles, or the old lady who was the sole resident of an otherwise deserted village.

It’s turning out to be a captivating and enchanting little series which reminds me of what television used to do many years ago, and that was to bring aspects of the world into our living rooms which we had never seen before.

Meanwhile, back to Michael Palin, who was played wonderfully well by his dead ringer Charles Edwards in the Wednesday night drama romp, Holy Flying Circus, on BBC4.

This was the story of the hysterical over-reaction from

some quarters back in 1979 to The Life of Brian, and it was a very funny 90 minutes.

I remembered very well the Friday Night chat show confrontation featuring Palin and John Cleese up against the Bishop of Southwark and that sanctimonious windbag, Malcolm Muggeridge.

It was a great reconstruction of a wonderful piece of TV that we cheered along to at the time as the Pythons won hands-down. Check it out on You Tube if you get a chance.

Chat shows these days are very different animals and, much as I’ve greatly enjoyed Jonathan Ross at his new ITV1 home, there’s still something weird about his not being around late Friday evening on BBC1.

That honour went to Graham Norton last year, and the cheeky Irishman is back tonight for a new series, when Kate Winslet will be one of the guests.

The big fun with Norton’s format is that all of his interviewees are on at the same time - interacting together, and sometimes with the studio audience.

Norton acts as a witty ringmaster and it all works really well with his comedy background making him a natural for this.

It’s not an easy trick to pull off. Just ask Alan Carr, whose Channel 4 bosses keep ordering new series of his programme, probably to stop him defecting to another channel, rather than making an honest judgement on the poor quality of the show.

Last, but certainly not least, some words about the brilliant Betty Driver, who passed away last weekend at the grand age of 91.

She was a wonderful and rich part of the history of Coronation Street for over 40 years, which was just a portion of her extraordinary showbiz career. A lovely ITV documentary earlier this year showed what an active mind she still had, and it was great to see it repeated on Monday night.

Tributes that poured in from cast members past and present showed how much they loved her, especially the younger ones. There wasn’t a fake condolence amongst them, which really says it all.

Note to ITV: Remove Betty’s Hotpots from the Rovers at your peril! It’ll be a great way to keep her memory alive.

ASSASSINATION GAMES 18

JEAN Claude Van Damme may still be stuck in Baction movie purgatory, but with a little help from a director familiar with the territory and an up and coming action star like Scott Adkins then "Assassination Games" might just be in the upper tiers for a B-action movie...and it is.

Vincent (Van Damme) is one of the world's best guns for hire when it comes to assassinations.

When some crooked Interpol agents decide to plant a trap for rogue

CAST: Jean Claude Van Damme, Scott Adkins, Ivan Kaye DIRECTOR: Ernie Barbarash GENRE: Action RATING: 3/5 RUNNING TIME: 96 min. assassin Flint (Adkins) by releasing a ruthless crime boss (Ivan Kaye), the two efficient assassins find their paths crossing. The trap is set though and these two lovable killers are going to have to put their differences aside and team up if the job is to get done before they find themselves at the wrong end of a target.

When you have a film like this, you better hope

that you get a solid cast even if they are on a slide in their careers.

"Assassination Games" does it with flair. Van Damme owns his role, giving it some depth and really solidifies the fact that he can act even if its not going to be some of the

best you've seen. Partner him with the charismatic and often very awesome rising action star Scott Adkins and the duo is going to sell this movie for action fans. Adkins does an admirable job as the driven and vengeful assassin, but the chemistry of the two together really sells the film. The few scenes where they really get to interact bring

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a big smile to the face and their differing styles of action hero make for some great exchanges.

"Assassination Games" makes for a fun dvd as the two leads carry the film for most of its run time, but the lacking budget and obvious script flaws hinder it from truly rising above to the potential the film could have had.

36

Friday

21st October

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 The Great Fuel Robbery Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 Reel History of Britain 04:25 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Dirty Tricks of the Tradesmen 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity MasterChef 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 17:30 Planet Dinosaur Files 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Would I Lie to You? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 00:50 01:20 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00

Burnistoun Women!

Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday

04:20 Close 05:00 Schools: Art and Design 06:00 The Designed World 07:00 Zigby 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Outback 8 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Mister Maker 11:05 I Can Cook 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Gardeners' World 21:30 Autumnwatch Live 22:30 Autumnwatch Unsprung 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:00 71 Degrees North 01:55 The Zone 01:55 ITV News Headlines 04:00 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:15 Live Rugby World Cup 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 DCI Banks 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS Three of the truckers from Alaska and Canada take a trip to the Himalayas, where they put their skills to the test on Asia's treacherous roads. Rick Yemm, Alex Debogorski and Lisa Kelly have been contracted to deliver hundreds of tons of goods and materials to hydroelectric projects in the mountains, and must complete a journey littered with potholes and sheer drops - as well as drivers and vehicles that do not always conform with Western standards.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 The Secret Millionaire 01:10 Channel 4 Presents - Liz Johnson 'Into the Blue' 01:15 The Film Show 01:45 Professor Green Unseen 02:15 4Play: T.E.E.D 02:30 Embarrassing Bodies 03:25 Southland 04:10 Accidentally on Purpose 04:35 Unreported World 05:00 Catastrophe 05:55 Countdown 06:45 The TV Book Club 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 12:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 The Restoration Man 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:15 A Man Alone 16:05 Channel 4 Presents - Lee Pearson 'The Colour Gold' 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal Live 18:00 Celebrity Coach Trip 18:30 Celebrity Come Dine with Me: Return of the Worst 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Derren Brown: The Assassin 23:00 Pete Versus Life 23:35 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:15 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:15 SuperCasino 05:00 The Family Recipe 05:05 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:30 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Two against Time 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Big Brother: Live Eviction 23:00 The Bachelor

37

Saturday 22nd October

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 Fallen 02:30 Weatherview 02:35 Question Time 03:35 Town with Nicholas Crane 04:35 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 Don't Scare the Hare 15:05 Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out 15:30 Outtake TV 16:00 Total Wipeout: The Final 17:00 A Question of Sport 17:30 Final Score 18:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:25 Celebrity MasterChef: The Final 19:25 Strictly Come Dancing 21:15 Merlin 22:00 Casualty 22:50 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 The Review Show 00:45 Weather 00:50 Later with Jools Holland

01:55 Mojo 03:20 The Culture Show 04:20 Close 07:00 Zigby 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Roar 08:30 Arthur 08:50 Dennis and Gnasher 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Splatalot 10:00 Live 'n' Deadly 11:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 11:30 I Want My Own Room 12:00 Deadly Art 12:15 Sorry, I've Got No Head 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Follow the Fleet 14:50 The First of the Few 16:45 The Great British Bake Off Revisited 17:45 Flog It! 18:45 James May's Toy Stories 19:45 Spitfire Women 20:45 'Allo 'Allo!

21:15 Dad's Army 21:45 The Spitfire: Britain's Flying Past 22:45 QI XL 23:30 First Light

00:35 Cops with Cameras 01:35 The Zone 01:35 ITV News Headlines 03:40 Tooth 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 ITV News and Weather 12:54 Meridian Weather 12:55 Smokey and the Bandit II 14:45 Babe 16:25 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas 18:05 Meridian News and Weather 18:15 ITV News and Weather 18:30 100% You've Been Framed!

19:30 All Star Family Fortunes 20:30 Harry Hill's TV Burp 21:00 The X Factor 22:55 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:55 ITV News and Weather

SPITFIRE WOMEN

The story of the 168 female pilots who served in Britain's Air Transport Auxiliary - an organisation responsible for delivering aircraft to the RAF on the front lines of battle during the Second World War. Despite having no radio or navigation equipment, ATA pilots were expected to fly any kind of aircraft to the destinations where they were most needed, often risking their lives in the process. The film also features interviews with the last surviving female veterans, who speak about the dangers they encountered in the skies and the discrimination they faced back home.

00:05 Tim Minchin: Ready for This?

01:40 Random Acts 01:45 All Tomorrow's Parties 03:15 On Track 03:40 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 04:40 Accidentally on Purpose 05:05 Catastrophe 06:00 Countdown 06:45 The TV Book Club 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Film Show 08:00 British GT Championship 2011 08:25 Superbike World Championship 2011 08:55 Channel 4 Presents - Jonnie Peacock 'Speed' 09:00 The Morning Line 09:55 Smallville 10:50 Matt Cardle: The Album Chart Show Special 11:20 The Big Bang Theory 11:50 Inside SBTV: From Bedroom to Boardroom 12:15 Made in Chelsea 13:20 Example: Video Exclusive 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Simpsons 14:25 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Boudica's Lost Tribe: A Time Team Special 21:00 World War II: The Last Heroes 22:00 The Hurt Locker

00:00 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 00:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Fifth Gear 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Elmo's World 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:00 The Save-Ums! 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Hana's Helpline 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 Highland Emergency 11:45 The Gadget Show 12:45 Big Brother: The Eviction 13:45 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 14:15 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 15:10 The Hotel Inspector 16:15 Mary Higgins Clark's Try to Remember 18:05 How the West Was Won 21:00 5 News Weekend 21:05 NCIS 21:55 NCIS 22:55 Big Brother 23:55 Just Married

38

Sunday 23rd October 00:30 The Football League Show 01:45 Weatherview 01:50 Reporters 02:00 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:50 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 The Politics Show 14:00 Reincarnation: You Only Live Twice?

14:30 EastEnders 16:25 Total Wipeout: The Awards 17:10 Planet Dinosaur 17:40 Planet Dinosaur 18:10 Points of View 18:25 Songs of Praise 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:25 Countryfile 20:25 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Spooks 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:50 02:40 03:45 07:00 07:10 07:20 07:35 07:40 08:00 08:30 08:50 09:05 09:30 11:00 12:30 13:00 14:00 15:30 17:20 18:55 19:45 21:00 22:00 23:00

Things We Lost in the Fire Later with Jools Holland Close Zigby The Large Family The Pingu Show Dipdap Gigglebiz Roar Arthur Dennis and Gnasher Wingin' It Live MotoGP Something for the Weekend Flog It! Escape to the Country MotoGP In Which We Serve We Dive at Dawn Timewatch - The Hunt for U-864 Top Gear Bolivia Special Operation Jericho Fry's Planet Word Match of the Day 2

00:09 00:10 02:35 02:35 04:00 06:30 07:00 08:25 09:30 12:40 12:44 12:45 14:50 16:45 18:00 19:00 19:15 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:15 23:45 23:59

Meridian Weather Van Helsing The Zone ITV News Headlines ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV Live Rugby World Cup ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Every Which Way but Loose The X Factor Downton Abbey Rugby World Cup Highlights Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather Harry Hill's TV Burp Holding Out for a Hero The X Factor Downton Abbey That Sunday Night Show ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather

TOP GEAR Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May are sent to Bolivia, where they are challenged to travel through the rainforest and journey to the coast of Chile, driving second-hand off-road vehicles bought locally for a maximum of ÂŁ3,500 each. Along the way, they encounter drug lords and feel the effects of altitude sickness as they negotiate the region's roads, one of which is a notoriously dangerous 40-mile mountain pass dubbed El Camino de la Muerte - the Death Road

00:30 8 Out of 10 Cats 01:20 Rude Tube 02:20 Julia 04:50 Catastrophe 05:45 Countdown 06:30 The TV Book Club 07:00 Sali Mali 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 The Great North Swim 08:25 Channel 4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'True Grit' 08:30 One Tree Hill 09:20 Hollyoaks 11:50 Professor Green Unseen 12:05 Live and Lost: Chipmunk 12:40 The Simpsons 13:15 Shipwrecked: A Look Back 14:15 Celebrity Coach Trip 16:55 The Simpsons 17:25 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 18:25 Deal or No Deal Live 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 The Political Slot 20:05 Grand Designs 21:00 River Cottage Veg 22:00 The Secret Millionaire 23:00 Chris Moyles' Hollywood Stars Quiz Night 23:55 Derren Brown: The Assassin

01:35 SuperCasino 05:00 The FBI Files 05:50 Animal Rescue Squad 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Elmo's World 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:00 The Save-Ums! 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Hana's Helpline 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Olivia 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Great Birmingham Run 13:00 Animal Rescue Squad 13:20 Big Brother 14:15 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 15:15 Only You 17:20 Daddy Day Camp 19:05 Toy Story 2 21:05 5 News Weekend 21:10 Paul Merton's Adventures 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Two Weeks Notice

39

Monday 24th October

00:10 Ask Rhod Gilbert 00:45 American Football 01:45 Weatherview 01:50 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 02:30 A Farmer's Life for Me 03:30 Holby City 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Deadly Top 10 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Cops Behaving Badly Panorama 22:00 Young Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:30 01:00 01:30 03:10 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 05:00 07:00

Fast and Loose Never Mind the Buzzcocks Miss Firecracker Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close Zigby

07:10 The Large Family 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Outback 8 08:00 Bernard 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Mister Maker 11:05 I Can Cook 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Baking Made Easy 22:00 Origins of Us 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:00 Someone's Daughter, Someone's Son 01:00 Anglo-Welsh Cup Rugby Union 01:55 The Zone 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little England 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Doc Martin 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Exposure: On the Run

YOUNG APPRENTICE New series. Alan Sugar gives another group of 12 ambitious schoolchildren a chance to kick-start a future career in business. The teenage candidates, selected from a wide pool of applicants, battle it out through a series of challenges spanning eight weeks. They begin by taking part in a boys v girls task in which they must conceptualise a new range of frozen snacks to be sold directly to members of the public.

00:55 Pete Versus Life 01:30 Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds: Somewhere in Between 02:00 American Football Live 05:45 Channel 4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'True Grit' 05:50 Freesports on 4 06:20 Grudge Match 06:30 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Harness Racing 06:35 The TV Book Club 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:00 River Cottage Bites 14:10 Paper Moon 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents - Oscar Pistorius 'Blade Runner' 21:00 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking 22:00 Mummifying Alan: Egypt's Last Secret 23:40 Rude Tube

01:00 Extraordinary People: Growing Up Without a Face 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 The Family Recipe 05:10 UEFA Europa League Highlights 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Big School 08:05 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Castle Farm 09:00 Mio Mao 09:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 A Time to Remember 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Celebrity Wish List 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 New Hotel Inspector 23:00 Big Brother

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Tuesday 25th October

00:05 Spooks 01:05 The Graham Norton Show 01:55 Weatherview 02:00 The Great British Bake Off 03:00 The Body Farm 04:00 Reel History of Britain 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Hotel Trubble 17:30 Blue Peter 17:30 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Young Nuns

00:20 Light?

01:20 02:20 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

Faster Than the Speed of Fry's Planet Word Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today La Mappa Misteriosa

06:30 Talk Italian 07:00 Zigby 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:00 Bernard 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Mister Maker 11:05 I Can Cook 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 James May's Man Lab 22:00 Code-Breakers: Bletchley Park's Lost Heroes 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 That Sunday Night Show 01:05 Wildlife Patrol 01:35 The Zone 03:35 Champions League Weekly 04:05 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Mayday Mayday 21:00 High Stakes 22:00 71 Degrees North 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 DCI Banks

JAMES MAY’S MAN LAB James and Oz Clarke break out of Dartmoor Prison, evade a team of trackers and navigate their way across moors using only a map and compass in their latest attempt to re-skill the modern male. James tests his own abilities further as he takes on what he feels is the most threatening challenge facing men today - remembering names at a dinner party.

00:45 Fresh Meat 01:35 Random Acts 01:40 Late Night Poker 02:35 Ishqiya 04:35 Truel 04:50 Friday Night In 05:00 Catastrophe 05:55 Countdown 06:40 The TV Book Club 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:20 River of No Return 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents - Liz Johnson 'Magic Numbers' 21:00 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 22:00 Jamie's Great Britain 23:00 Shameless

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Police Interceptors 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 The Family Recipe 05:10 Grey's Anatomy 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:05 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Angel in the Family 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Real Food Family Cook Off 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Amanda Knox: The Untold Story 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 Big Brother

41

Wednesday 26th October

00:20 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 01:00 Half Nelson 02:40 Weatherview 02:45 Village SOS 03:45 History Cold Case 04:45 Reel History of Britain 05:15 Reel History of Britain 05:45 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Hotel Trubble 17:30 Serious Explorers: Raleigh 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 22:00 Frozen Planet 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Ask Rhod Gilbert

00:20 01:20 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

Wellington Bomber Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

05:00 Languages & Travel 07:00 Zigby 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:00 Bernard 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Mister Maker 11:05 I Can Cook 11:20 Louie 11:25 Baby Jake 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 The Hairy Bakers 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Great British Food Revival 22:00 Secret Pakistan 23:00 Rab C Nesbitt 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey 01:30 The Zone 01:30 ITV News Headlines 04:05 Heist 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Cops with Cameras

FROZEN PLANET New series. David Attenborough travels to the Arctic and Antarctic to explore the wildernesses at the Earth's poles, investigating the wildlife and geographical features found there. He begins by travelling to the North Pole, where two polar bears reveal a surprisingly tender side to their characters, before heading to the South Pole - 100 years after Roald Amundsen and Robert Falcon Scott first reached it

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 True Blood 01:15 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:10 Sailing 02:40 Beach Volleyball 03:35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:00 British GT Championship 04:30 That Paralympic Show 04:55 Channel 4 Presents 05:00 Paralympic Wheelchair Rugby GB Cup 2011 05:55 The Great North Swim 06:50 Grudge Match 07:00 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Gymnastics 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 14:30 Brief Encounter 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents - Jonnie Peacock 'Hit the Ground Running' 21:00 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Fresh Meat 23:50 Shameless

00:00 Jerry Maguire 02:25 SuperCasino 05:00 The Family Recipe 05:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:30 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Ties That Bind 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 New Highland Emergency 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Dangerous Drivers' School 22:00 Paul Merton's Adventures 23:00 Big Brother

42

Thursday 27th October

00:20 The League Cup Show 01:30 Weatherview 01:35 See Hear 02:05 Watchdog 03:05 Country Tracks 04:00 Made In Britain 05:00 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Sorry, I've Got No Head 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Britain on the Fiddle 22:00 Hidden 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 01:20 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 06:00 07:00 07:10

James May's Man Lab Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Mi Vida Loca Spanish Shorts Zigby The Large Family

07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:00 Bernard 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Mister Maker 11:05 I Can Cook 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Great British Food Revival 22:00 The Future State of Welfare with John Humphrys 23:00 Mock the Week - Again 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:35 Ladette to Lady: Australia 01:30 The Zone 03:35 The War Wagon 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Not in My Back Yard: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

BRITAIN ON THE FIDDLE Panorama special investigating the world of benefits cheats, who effectively steal millions of pounds in taxpayers' money every year. Reporter Richard Bilton uses undercover cameras to expose people on benefits sailing yachts and driving expensive cars, and he follows fraud investigators as they tackle those using false identities to make illegal claims

00:55 Random Acts 01:00 On Track 01:30 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 01:45 Live and Lost: Chipmunk 02:15 4Play: Lisa Hannigan 02:25 4Play: Sam Gray 02:40 Mean Creek 04:15 Accidentally on Purpose 04:40 Without a Trace 05:30 Hill Street Blues 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 The Trouble with Angels 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents - Lee Pearson 'The Dancer' 21:00 Beeny's Restoration Nightmare 22:00 Educating Essex 23:00 The Joy of Teen Sex

00:00 Impossible?

01:00 Poker: The Big Game 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 The Family Recipe 05:05 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:30 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:05 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Trust 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 The World's Biggest Bomb: Revealed 22:00 Extraordinary People: The Woman Who Lost Her Face 23:00 Big Brother

Friday, October 21, 2011

43

44

Friday, October 21, 2011

ACCOMODATION Pensión La Oficina (The Black Bull)situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35 € per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations. (38)

ACCOUNTANTS Bogged down in paperwork? Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.(38)

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLD DRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900.

25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH G U A R A N T E E D SITES.619307318. (52) Bar for sale. Quesada area. Going cheap. For information pack, email: .

Tel: 688 800 960 (40) Brand new clothing for Sale. 10,000 pieces of mixed childrens, ladies and mens wear. Ideal for market traders. Bargain price 1€ per item. Call now on 651 885 200. (38)

CAR WANTED

BOATS BOATING LICENSES ARE NOW A LEGAL REQUIREMENT IN SPAIN Serenity Sailing RYA Training Centre, Competent Crew to Yachtmaster, VHF & ICC Own boat tuition on sail and power. If you have a yacht or powerboat get qualified and certified Contact Richard 0034 638 056 224 enquiries@serenitysailing.com/www.serenitysailing.com

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am.

Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Tata 4 x 2 2 litre TD EX 7 seater 2002, 86,000 km, fully serviced, alloys, aircon, bullbar side steps, CD etc, silver 3.600 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com Fiat Punto 1.2 5dr 2004 74,000 km, fully serviced, silver, 3750 euros tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

Renault Kangoo combi 1.5 dci 2004 twin sliding doors, air con, alloys, cd, white, lovely condition, FSH 4950 eurosTel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Nissan Micra Cabriolet 1.4 90bhp 2006, 2 owners 84,000km, FSH, stunning car with solid power roof finished in metallic burnt orange, alloys, aircon, blue tooth etc etc 7755 euros Tel 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Renault Scenic 1.9 dci 2004 1 owner 95,000km, fsh, 6spd alloys, rain and light sensors stunning condition pearlescent silver 7750 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Mercedes!

Mercedes! good selection of Mercedes over 10 different models in stock new and used vehicles sourced Tel 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

CAR SALES

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.co m or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

NEWS AGENTS FINANCE

PAVING CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

REMOVALS

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Advertise here for only a fiver!

SECURITY

45

Friday, October 21, 2011 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 70, Superb 3 bedroom detached villa set on a large plot in San Luis. The Property is close to the Habaneras Shopping Centre, Aquapark and other amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul).

The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 33, A lovely large 2 bedroom, ground floor apartment within walking distance to the beach.

Large lounge, 1 double bedroom and 1 twin bedroom on a gated community. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed groundfloor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis. The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LOCKSMITH

La Finca. 2 bed, 3 bath townhouse. Long let.

Fully furnished. Air con.

Lovely location. Gated community. NO PETS. T.V. Views. Communal pool, Solarium, Contracts. €450 month. 690 731 160 (34)

PROPERTY FOR SALE Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 House for sale. Santiago de la Ribera, 3-4 bedrooms, lovely garden, two balconies, two fireplaces, quiet neighbourhood, five minutes walk to beach.

Tel: 616 596 647 or 672 192 482 (22).

Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242

Gran Alacant, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath mid terraced Altomar 1, views of Alicante Bay, close to communal pool, walking distance to bars and resturants opportunity at reduced price 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Quesada, detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bath, all large rooms, front enclosed conservatory, fully furnished, oiled fuelled heating, outdoor poolside kitchen and bbq area enclosed, large pool, outside toilet, garage for 2 cars, newly refurbished, established garden with fruit trees, set in a cul de sac on 1000m2, the overall plot can be divided, as registered as two plots, so this house could be a substantial investment opportunity, situated in the Dona pepe area close to Quesada town centre, priced 255,000 negotiable Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and

FAST BROADBAND

BLOCKED DRAINS Unblock a Rod SL 24 hours Emergency Service Tel 966 720 109 - Mobile 618 356 270

PLUMBERS

GENTLEMAN’S BARBER

Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. mCall: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €198,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with com-

munal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace.

This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, accident claims, legalise land. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor. (38)

WANTED A private buyer looking to buy a cheap car directly from the owner (middleman please do not call)Tel 638 811 881(35)

ENERGY SAVER

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

PETS

LOCKSMITH

46

Friday, October 21, 2011

The ABC football quiz TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME WITH A DIFFERENT KIND OF THEME WHICH two unrelated players, both 29 and sharing the same brief name beginning with A, have confusingly played for Brazil in the last year?

SCUNTHORPE has what unusual nickname beginning with I, echoed in the badge of a fist holding a girder?

EVEN more confusingly, a third namesake played for Japan in the 2006 World Cup, the team exiting after their group match against which B nation?

TWO questions in one...which JK had his career effectively ended during his only Scotland game in 2004 when just 20 years old?

MEXICO’S record-breaking talisman Senor Blanco was stuck with an almost-unspellable first name beginning with C honouring which ancient Aztec ruler?

WHICH L is the only Pole to have won the World Cup Golden Boot with seven goals in 1974, including the TWO questions in one - which DE, a one that beat Brazil?

Burnley and Canada defender, is almost a swizzle-round of a combaWHICH major world city beginning tive Dutch legend? with M is home to rival Premier League teams called Heart and WHICH jinxed F of Manchester Victory?

United has been laid low this year by a mystery virus and tonsillitis?

WHICH two N namesakes contested the same midfield spot in Japan’s THE Latin-sounding St Pauli club 2010 World Cup team? play in which G European league system?

WHICH H team’s 10-1 victory over El Salvador in the 1982 World Cup remains a record for the finals?

BY STEVE BOTT

hear a word of criticism from me.

Even though you’ve committed an even worse sin by joining the moaning bitter Berties across town at the Etihad.

To end, I recount a tale which underlines footballers’ spending power.

Some time ago Ryan Giggs was out enjoying himself in a night spot on the outskirts of Manchester when he was harangued by a couple of fellow revellers about his talents - or in their eyes lack of any - and his vastly inflated wages.

Giggs’ answer was to pull out a £50 note and set fire to it.

Asked why he had done it, he simply replied: "Because I can afford to. Can you?"

pre-tournament party ahead of the International 7's tournament in Elche on 1 November. The evening will feature everything from singing rugby songs to drink-

ing games and the sale of shirts, merchandise and tickets for the tournament.

And if you wear a rugby shirt, you’ll get discount on your drinks.

Kick-off is at 8pm and th action will probably keep going as long as you do.

The European Sevens tournament at Elche’s Martinez Valero football stadium on November 1 is an event NOT to be missed. A prelude to the IRB Sevens

WHAT was the first name, unique in football, of controversial recentlyretired English referee Mr Rennie?

POLISH teams are impossible...what is the correct pronunciation of Lodz?

WHICH state-of-the-art football boot was launched to great fanfare by Zinedine Zidane two years ago?

WHICH French O moved from Manchester United to Newcastle in the summer?

TWO questions in one...identify the Cardiff City defender with the initials PQ. WHICH former West Ham defender had the shortest managerial reign in football history - 10 minutes at Torquay in 2007?

It’s rugby party time for Firefly halfs!

IT’S not only Rugby World Cup final weekend - it’s party time for everyone who loves the game at the Firefly in Quesada tomorrow (Saturday)! The event is a

...AND what are the four Ts who have in total just eight between them?

WHICH shirt-filling name was created by the joining of two landowning families in Holland centuries ago?

SO SORRY OWEN, I PUT MY FOOT IN IT I NEVER thought I would sympathise with Owen Hargreaves. But the sinful chickens have come home to roost, big style.

After months, nay years, of criticising the lad for milking my beloved Manchester United dry while being little more than a cripple, I myself have been diagnosed with tendonitis of the foot. And it's no joke, I can tell you!

Agonising pain has only been offset by tablets and a walk down the street still leaves me tired, in pain and in need of up to three days complete rest.

It’s a drain on much more than my patience so, Owen, never again will you

WHICH two nations beginning with S are bracketed together on eight World Cup finals appearances?

world circuit, it will feature national teams from Spain, England, Wales, Scotland, France and Portugal.

Tickets and T-shirts are available from Garry (Dutch) on 692 767 242.

Winners of our Free Tickets competition were Martin Enderby and Peter Hutton, who each win a pair of tickets.

The answer to our question was Wade Dooley won 55 caps for England.

l

WHAT’S the affectionate nickname given by fans to gloomy German manager Joachim Loew?

Alberto Zaccheroni.

Hesselink; Wooj; Predator X; Yogi; Tobago 1 each; Uriah; Vennegoor of Tunisia 4, Turkey 2, Togo, Trinidad & Rosenior; Scotland and South Korea; Gabriel Overtan; Paul Quinn; Leroy Shunsuke and Kengo Nakamura; Kennedy; Grzegorz Lato; Melbourne; Germany; Hungary; The Iron; John David Edgar; Darren Fletcher; ANSWERS: Alex; Brazil; Cuauhtemoc;

47

Friday, October 21, 2011

AAR-SENAL!

Last-gasp Ramsey keeps Wenger’s boys on course AARON Ramsey joined the stoppage time saviours club with a great last-gasp winner for Arsenal in Marseille on Wednesday night.

The Welsh whiz kid had only been on the field for 15 minutes and he left it until the 92nd minute before racing in on the left to send the Gunners towards the top of Group F in the Champions League.

The goal also gave the boy from Caerphilly a great personal fillip.

Welsh-speaking Ramsey has been hard hit by injuries over the last two years and while Arsene Wenger waved goodbye to midfield stars Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri, many folk had mooted him and fellow Brit Jack Wilshere to be given their chance together.

Wilshire has already come through - and played for England, too.

He was missing in Marseille but Ramsey, who has had to overcome a badly broken leg among other injuries, finally hit the head-

lines again with his goal.

He joined Sergio Aguero as a late winner after the Argentinian’s 93rd minute goal gave Manchester City an undeserved victory over Villarreal at the Etihad Stadium the previous night.

Granted, City and Arsenal now look a whole lot better in their groups, although City still face a nigh impossible task to reach the knockout stage with away trips to

Napoli, who held Bayern 1-1, and Villarreal plus a home encounter with a stronglooking Bayern Munich to come.

Arsenal

Solid earlier wins were backed up by a resounding 5-0 win over Genk, with Fernando Torres bagging a brace.

Manchester United had two Wayne Rooney penalties to thank for their 2-0 win in

h a v e been doing reasonably well in Europe if you like draws but this win has really boosted them.

Meanwhile, Chelsea are quietly looking very, very good.

Romania while Barcelona, Real Madrid and AC Milan all won comfortably and Inter did well with a 1-0 win at Lille.

Valencia, the Champions League team nearest to Courier territory, went down 2-1 to Germans Bayer Leverkusen.

And Greek side Olympiakos beat another German outfit, Borussia Dortmund, 3-1.

HEADING FOR VICTORY: Montesinos players celebrate Dmitry’s goal

Aaron’s Welsh rare hit!

Dimitry heads Monte charge CD Montesinos 2 Thader ‘B’ 0

CD Montesinos continued their excellent start to the season against Thader ‘B’ from Rojales. But they had to wait until the second half for goals from defender Dimitry and a late penalty from the outstanding Andres.

With regular goalkeeper Cubano suspended after being sent off last week, the young Lopez came on and was never troubled as the Monte defence held firm.

Montesinos dominated the first half and the inevitable breakthrough came after 65

minutes, when Dimitry headed home from a corner.

With time running out, Macan was pulled down in the area and young Andres (I) calmly tucked away the penalty to give them three wins and two draws from their five matches this season.

Next weekend CD Montesinos travel to Horadada to take on Grupo Caliche. For more information on CD Montesinos and their Internacional (CB) Supporters’ Club (The Full Monte), go to www.cdmontesinos.com, email thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or phone 637 869 602.

‘ARRY’S GAME FROM BACK PAGE I would go for Jermain Defoe at the moment as Rooney's replacement and there is a case for giving Andy Carroll a run to see if he can resurrect the potential that saw Liverpool splash out over £30m on him.

Anyway, Harry would certainly add some fizz to the proceedings and he would talk up the job superbly. Hodgson would adopt a rather more reserved approach, perhaps generating more true respect. But at the end of the day it's a winner and winners we want, so whatever that takes will do for me!

Manchester City grabbed a slim Champions League lifeline on Tuesday night thanks to Sergio Aguero's stoppage time winner - but the zillionaires came desperately close to being sunk

by El Submarino Amarillo!

The yellow men of Villarreal shocked City with a third minute opener popped in by Cani after a fierce Guiseppe Rossi shot cannoned back into his path off Joe

Hart in the City goal.

An own goal by Carlos Marchena put City back in it just before half-time after Edin Dzeko put him under pressure challenging for a cross from the outstanding Aleksandar Kolarov. But Aguero really got the Spanish team out of jail with that disputed late winner.

Villarreal coach Juan Carlos Garrido said: "The players thought the winning goal was offside but it was not. It was in the last minute and it is sometimes difficult to stay cool."

Manager Roberto Mancini knows he faces a tough task in his own country Italy when City take on Napoli - and they also have to go to Villarreal as well as hosting Bayern Munich at the Etihad. If they come through that they will have done very, very well but right now a win or a point against neighbours Manchester United on Sunday is their number one priority as they look down from the top of the Premier League table.

48

Friday, October 21, 2011

‘ARRY’S GAME

Give Redknapp the England job NOW THE BOTT VIEW WE'VE had Mike Bassett England manager. That was hilarious - but there is far more credibility in the calls for Harry Redknapp to succeed Fabio Capello now.

The Tottenham boss is a popular guy in many quarters - especially with the fans and the man in the street.

He has brought the clubs he has been with right into the public eye and did actually win the FA Cup with one of them.

He is doing well at Spurs right now and they are

Or let Hodgson do it the quiet way

pushing the big four at the top of the Premier League, certainly in publicity terms as well as on the pitch, and have made huge inroads on the European scene too.

Harry would certainly be a popular choice, but I would bring another name into the frame too - Roy Hodgson. He, too, has a good track record having managed Switzerland - and at club level Inter Milan, Liverpool, Fulham and now West Brom.

Although Capello isn't due to go until after the European Championships next summer, I would install the new manager NOW!

Following the fiasco in Montenegro that saw the idiotic actions of Wayne Rooney reduce England's chances of their first trophy in 45 years to zero, the next few games, including those group games in the finals, are nothing more than knockabouts.

It will be a miracle if Capello can come up with a winning forward formula to blend into his team in time for next June, although England do have some testing friendlies coming up against Sweden and Spain in the build-up to the competition.

Turn to Page 47

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