The Courier Week 37

Edition 37

www.thecourier.es

Friday, November 4, 2011

EU WRECKER!

Greek tragedy a real horror show for Spain

BY AMANDA BLACK SPANISH banks, politicians and analysts have been watching in horror as the latest Greek crisis unfolds, all too aware of the danger it poses for the Spanish economy.

Yesterday (Thursday), the situation was changing almost by the minute as crisis talks were held across Europe.

The G20 summit in Cannes was unsurprisingly dominated by the eurozone crisis.

By the time we went to press rumours that the Greek premier was about to resign were being quashed and there was talk that the planned referendum at the centre of the crisis may not go ahead.

Still, in many quarters there were real concerns as to whether Greece can stay in the euro, and in Britain the Treasury admitted it has plans in place for a total collapse of the

euro. The latest episode in the Greek drama began when Prime Minister George Papandreou unexpectedly announced he would hold a referendum on austerity measures imposed by the bail-out.

European leaders were furious, seeing the move as potentially threatening for the entire eurozone.

As shock waves spread through the global economic system, Spanish politicians were among the first to condemn the move.

On Wednesday, PSOE’s Alfredo Pérez Rubalcaba described the latest upheaval in the single-currency bloc as a “bad decision” that “puts off a solution to the Greek crisis and to European instability”.

“Greece decides to delay its correction and Europe, Spain included, is going to

Turn to Page 14

BAD OMEN: If you judge the Greek PM by his friends, it’s no wonder he has problems

TOP CRICKETERS JAILED FOR FIX THREE of the world's top cricketers are facing time behind bars for their part in a match-fixing scam that rocked international sport.

Pakistan's former Test captain Salman Butt, 27, was jailed for two-and-a-half years yesterday (Thursday) for leading a plot to bowl deliberate no-balls in the Lord's Test against England last summer.

Top bowler Mohammad Asif, 28, received a 12-month prison term for delivering one of the fraudulent no-balls.

And Mohammad Amir, 19 was sentenced to six months in a young offenders institution after he admitted bowling two intentional no-balls at Lord's. Mazhar Majeed, 36, the corrupt London-based sports agent, was jailed for two years and eight months.

FULL STORY - Page 17

In today’s Courier...

NOT a lot of good news around at present, is there? So, rather than a Good News paper, this week’s issue is more a Good Value one. Enjoy our colourful mixture of news, features, sport and pictures - not forgetting the best team of columnists around. lPage 4 - Tony Mayes lPage 5 - Bev’s Boobs lPage 7 - Donna Gee lPage 10 - Dave Silver lPage 15- Alex Trelinski lPage 35 Treli on Telly

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Friday, November 4, 2011

A woman’s work is never done...but I’m a bitch!

TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 1003 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Harold Heys Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

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Picture of the week

96 692 1003

DOORBELL TO DEATH

A 33-YEAR-OLD man has been arrested over a stabbing spree which left three people dead and two injured in a hamlet near Valencia last Friday night.

Valencia knifeman’s staircase rampage It doesn’t pay to be poor SPAIN’S rich are getting richer and its poor are getting poorer, according to figures released by Eurostat.

The statistics agency found the gap between high and low incomes grew last year because of soaring unemployment, wage freezes and the elimination of some financial benefits.

Only in Lithuania, Latvia and Romania is the income gap between rich and poor wider than in Spain, according to Eurostat.

Relatives of one of the victims console each other

Monday Clouds and sun High Temperature: 17°C RealFeel: 18°C

The suspect, said to be a neighbour of the casualties, was named by police only as J.P. The attacks took place in Castellar-Oliverar, to the south of the city at about 9pm.

Municipal sources said the man pounced on occupants of several flats connected to the staircase of his block after ringing the door bells. A local policeman then saw him in the street, covered in blood, and asking what had happened.

Two of the dead were a father and his 13-year-old son, while the third victim was a female pensioner.

A 48-year-old said to be very seriously hurt is in the intensive care unit at La Fe Hospital.

And a 44-year-old man is stable in the General Hospital after receiving injuries to his back and head.

The incident is reportedly linked to a dispute between neighbours, but it is still unclear if the attacker is related in any way to the victims.

Several neighbours described the arrested suspect as ‘a normal man’, married with a young daughter, who had never caused any problems.

Lifeguards in swim drama

By SALLY BENGTSSON ONE man drowned and another came close to death as undercurrents sucked in Costa Blanca bathers last weekend.

Lifeguards saved the life of a 30-year-old after spending 25 minutes resuscitating him.

Emergency workers had been alerted that the man was having trouble 200 metres from the beach.

When he was pulled out of the water he had no heartbeat. He remains in critical condition at Alicante Hospital.

Meanwhile, a 35-yearold homeless man drowned in the sea at Alicante’s Coco beach on Saturday. His body was pulled out of the water fully dressed. It later emerged that he had gone for a swim at 6pm, drunk.

Today Rain and drizzle High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 17°C

Saturday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 20°C RealFeel: 19°C

Sunday Cloudy and breezy High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 17°C

Tuesday Rain High Temperature: 16°C RealFeel: 14°C

Wednesday Showers High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 17°C

Thursday Rain High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 18°C

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Nailed - gunpoint duo who terrorised Rojales TWO youths have been detained on suspicion of committing five gunpoint robberies in Rojales and Benijófar, according to Guardia Civil sources.

The arrests were made possible thanks to collaboration between the Instituto Armado and Rojales local police.

All of the robberies were committed between January and February of last year, when the violent crime spree spread fear amongst residents of the towns.

The thieves, who wore blue workmen’s overalls, terrorised employees of the establishments they robbed by bran-

dishing a pistol and making threats before seizing money from the till and escaping on a moped.

A supermarket, pharmacy, tobacconist, commercial centre and stationers were targeted.

The police investigation, labelled operation Mono, led to the arrest of a 23year-old German and a 29-year-old Brazilian.

BEACH OF A PROBLEM SOLVED: The Ministry of the Environment and Rural and Marine Affairs has awarded €386,000 for an ecosystem restoration project for Guardamar’s sand dunes.

The restoration will cover the area from Playa de Babilonia to the mouth of the River Segura.

It follows restoration projects for the dune system between La Mata and Guardamar del Segura and between the mouth of the river and Elche.

The work will protect flora and fauna and maintain the dunes to enable the beaches to retain their sand capacity and regenerate naturally.

It will also prevent the dunes from encroaching on the pine forests.

The ecosystem the project will protect is the largest dune system on the southern Spanish Mediterranean coast.

SAVED...BY A WHISKER

Trapped cat in rescue drama after week in storm drain

By AMANDA BLACK A TRAPPED cat was dramatically hauled from a disused storm drain on Sunday as rising rainwater threatened to drown the rescue attempt.

Hi, I’m Storm.

Thanks for saving my life. All I need now is a good home

AN END TO FREE COURSES: Local education chief Rosa Martínez, announced this week that Spanish language courses for foreigners in Orihuela will no longer be free. An annual charge of €70 will now be made for the courses.

Martínez justified the charge as being necessary because of the financial situation at Orihuela town hall, which she described as “dramatic”.

Around 180 students will be affected by the charge. Registration for the language courses is now open at the Orihuela Costa council offices and the Colegio Público Los Dolses.

Rescuers raced against time to free the terrified animal, which had been entombed some six metres under the road in Los Montesinos for more than a week.

The frightened cat was discovered when a local man walking his dog heard its cries. However, the only entrance to the drain, an inspection tower, was locked, so the dog-owner was limited to lowering food on a rope to the drain entrance way below.

Eventually he contacted the Brigada Azul, an animal rescue charity, and volunteers were able to launch the rescue bid.

The unfortunate cat must have tumbled down the tower shaft after crawling along an above-ground drainpipe on pillars that opened into the top of the tower. Once it plunged into the water-filled base of the shaft, it had only a partly submerged drainpipe for refuge.

With the drain system no longer in use, the pipe had been cut off and filled in further under the road, so there was no way out.

It was a race against time to save the cat. It had been raining heavily and fast-rising water was already spilling into the drainpipe. Another downpour and the animal would have drowned.

Local police immediately gave permission for the tower’s grill covering to be broken open. A Brigada Azul volunteer was then able to climb inside the narrow inspection tower and set a trap at the drain mouth.

By now there was no sign of the cat, whose meows had not been heard for many hours. All anyone could do was hope it was still alive and would go into the trap.

Thankfully, it did – and a couple of hours later the trap was hauled out with the cat a little wet but safe inside.

Then, as they prepared to free what they assume was a wild cat, they realised they had a problem – it was purring.

Said a Brigade Azul official: “We’d expected a terrified feral cat that we could just release. But this cat was very clearly not wild.

Problem ‘’As soon as we approached the trap she bumped against the cage and purred. We now had the problem of what to do with her.

“But of course we are glad to have the problem of looking after her while trying to reunite her with her owner or find a new home. We are just happy we were able to save her. If we hadn’t been able to get her out, she faced a horrible death.”

The cat, named Storm by her rescuers, is being looked after by foster carers. A vet has given her a clean bill of health and said she is about one year old.

She is a little thin after her ordeal and appears to be scared of the dark, having been trapped without light for so long. Other than that, she is recovering well.

Storm is mostly black but speckled with gold markings, and has striking gold eyes. She is extremely affectionate, loves a lap and can’t get enough cuddles.

Her owner - or anyone who can offer her the good new home she deserves - can call the Brigada Azul on 648 498 668 or Joe the Catman on 96 671 9272.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Time to get boozing, kids!

You’re old in Britain at 35 BRITAIN has hit the headlines again this week - for all the wrong reasons.

Firstly, it's the worst place in Western Europe to grow old in. Secondly, it's one of the worst places in Europe for teenage alcohol abuse and drunkenness (as if we didn't know already).

Many ex-pats living in retirement in Spain will no doubt agree that they have been virtually forgotten by their offspring (unless they want something, probably financial help). If not, you're lucky, because for the majority it’s so very true.

A survey has shown that one third of Britons think those over 70 are a burden on health services. And two out of five people in the UK say they have been shown a lack of respect because of their age In the UK, youth is thought to end at 35 compared with people in Greece who said it ended at 52.

So there you have it, that's what the younger generation in the UK thinks of us in retirement. Thanks a bunch.

But it's very, very true. Just look at the commercials on UK TV. Virtually all feature body-beautiful under 30s selling everything other than perhaps stairlifts.

It's utter rubbish to be featuring under 30s on anti-wrinkle cream ads, but they do. Any advertiser wants to promote the body beautiful 20 something - but in so doing they make the over 60s feel utterly useless.

It happens in the workplace. Companies want to get the virile, young "upwardly mobile" into key positions, believing it will make their company and products appealing. Once installed, these "upwardly mobile" only want to talk and listen to people of their own age, fearing those older and more experienced who could undermine them.

Problems So the assault against those who have lived with the past's problems and could offer advice and help to escape the consequences of difficulties are sidelined.

The result is the sort of problems we have seen in the banking world.

There's little doubt that the problems were caused by fullof-themselves 20 and 30 somethings who went on their crazy antics unchecked. The last thing they were prepared to do was to listen to their elders and betters.

Compare that with some Far Eastern countries who actually revere their elderly and consult them on all-important matters.

Unfortunately there is no going back for the selfish young middle-aged in the UK today. The only crumb of comfort I have is that all they have meted out to this generation will come back to haunt them when their offspring treat them with as much contempt.

The other sad statistic is that young teenagers are drinking more than the safe limit set for adults and that over15s admit getting drunk at least once a week.

It's another symptom of the breakdown of family life and the craziness in Britain that youngsters have to prove their adulthood by showing how much they can drink in an evening.

They will live to regret it - but will they listen to their elders (and hopefully betters who have been there and learnt a lesson)? I doubt it very much.

THEY'RE at it again - those British fat cats, the people at the top of Britain's 100 top companies, have been dipping their faces in the trough like never before.

Last year I recall being extremely angry at hearing they had awarded themselves pay and perk bonuses of

around 20%.

Bad enough, but during the past year their greed has shown no bounds; their massive pay awards have risen to nearly 50%more.

It's extended down through the boardroom. The extravagant pay packages were enjoyed by every member, from the chief executive down to less high-profile roles.

The average chief executive now gets £3.8 million and a finance director a rise of 34% to £2 million each year.

Those fat cats sitting around boardrooms have awarded themselves an average salary 113 times the national average of £24,000 for a worker in the private sector.

But what makes all this greed far, far worse is that these very same people sit around their boardrooms plotting and scheming how to keep workers' pay as low as possible and get the maximum work out of them at the same time, all on the altar of ever increasing profits.

I applaud the words of former Liberal Democrat Treasury spokesman Lord Oakeshott, who commented: ‘These greedy bosses sit on each others’ remuneration committees and wave through each others’ offensive pay rises. An average rise of 49% includes vast rewards for failure while employees, shareholders and customers suffer."

These greedy, immoral and scandalous pay rises are offensive to the vast majority of people, yet they are powerless to do anything about it.

Some may be shareholders in those very same companies, but the vast majority of shares are held by pension funds run by equally rich and greedy people who will pay scant regard to others' pay rises until it started to damage the profitability of the company. They will not rock the boat after all, the rich look after the rich.

What makes the whole situation so much worse is that

while these apologies for the human race are showing that greed has no bounds, others living in the real world are trying to survive with belowinflation pay rises or no rises at all, finding it ever more difficult to make ends meet.

Yet what do we get from these greedy fat cats? More and more pressure on the Tory/Lib Dem administration to relieve them of the appalling 50% tax rate they now have to suffer!

Good on the Lib Dems for standing firm and resisting the demands from these human misfits.

And good luck to all those people camped out around the world trying to demonstrate the evils of uncontrolled capitalism.

I don't want to see an end to capitalism, but I do want its worst excesses nipped in the bud.

We need legislation which fixes fat cats' pay to the same percentage as workers and shareholders. With that in force we would begin to get some fairness.

But Britain can't do it alone. Every other nation must also clip the wings of the super rich.

Australian airline Qantas have been in the news this week after grounding all of its fleet because of continuing union strike action.

The company has been locking out all strikers in a longrunning dispute over restructuring which involves the loss of 1,000 jobs from its 35,000 workforce. It has been losing money on its long-haul operations. Weak management allow unions to run riot, intractable ones also bring out the worst in workers.

And guess who is in the middle, as usual - the public, who, in Qantas' case have found themselves stranded around the world. It's the same story with the British public who look likely to be in the middle of the battle between public sector workers and the Government over pensions, cuts and redundancies. There must be a better way, somewhere!

SEVEN AND HELL

WITHIN weeks we will have a mind-blowing SEVEN BILLION humans living on this planet. Since the 1940s, the world's population has been increasing in leaps and bounds and is likely to have risen by another two billion in 20 years' time.

Ironically, at the same time comes news that scientists have again concluded, after further studies, that global warming really exists. Put these two facts together and it spells disaster. We can't feed the current population, and have millions dying of starvation or on the breadline. It really is "growth" that we don't want.

The world must act to reduce the causes of global warming and, at the same time, persuade people not to have so many babies. The hotter it gets, the more the sea rises, and the more it rises it floods land we vitally need to live on and grow crops on.

Less land to live on, less food and more mouths to feed - where does that lead? Conflict, disaster.

Think of this: every human being is producing the same heat as a 100 watt light bulb - all the time. Just imagine the heat being generated worldwide just from our own bodies, all seven billion of them. I would do the maths but my calculator won't cope!

Think of the unimaginable global warming just from our own bodies, without bringing anything else into the equation, like heating our homes, heat from our cars, lorries, etc.

Oh yes, and there's the sun, throwing out heat to us all the time. We've got to start thinking more about this planet and its future survival - before the lights go out...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Mum’s the word in the world of flying cholesterol MY dear mum doesn't speak Spanish. Some people Just can't learn a foreign language and mum is a prime example.

For instance, she has been struggling to remember the name of a local Spanish bar that she and her partner, Sammy, have been frequenting. It's called El Sueño Azul.

They have both been calling it everything apart from the flipping correct name, much to my frustration, so I had a brainwave.

I wrote down the words ‘So when are you a fool’. When you say them quickly it actually does sound like the name of the bar (try it yourselves please and prove me right!).

Anyway, I left my mother and Hilda Sammy to pracBaker: tise and when we She got met up the followher mords ing day I asked wixed up Mum if she had remembered the, hopefully, fantastic way to say it.

She thought for a moment and p r o u d l y announced: ‘‘So why are you stupid’’.

I choked on my drink and gave up.

Although my lovely mum cannot speak Spanish, she does speak very good Hilda Baker-ish.

For those of you who don’t remember Hilda Baker, she was famous many years ago for getting her mords wixed-up.

Fabulous Mum’s ability to mimic Hilda unintentionally has given me some fabulous stories to dine on over the years (no wonder I’m overweight).

The best one, in my opinion, came one rare sunny day in Manchester about 15 years ago.

Mum and I were walking with my children and dog around a beautiful nature reserve when we caught sight of a heron in flight. ‘‘Oh, that reminds me, Bev,’’ she chirped (excuse the pun). ‘‘I saw a bird of prey in the garden last week. ‘‘I don't know what it was though, but

i'm sure it was either a VULCAN or a CHOLESTEROL.’’ Next day, my friend and I were chuckling about this original version of a falcon and a kestrel. ‘‘It's not that funny,’’ said my friend’s mother. Just calm down, you're suffering from hysteria.’’ Of course that made us giggle even more.

Anyway, I told my mother about the hysteria diagnosis later that day.‘‘Oh, don't worry about that,’’ she reassured us. ‘‘You only get hysteria from eating under-cooked meat.’’

Then there was the evening Mum joined me on the sofa and helped herself to one of my chocolates.

"Oh!’’, she exclaimed ecstatically, "I just love these s u c k - h a r d chocolates!"

Another time, she arrived at my house on a very blustery day.

"Look at the state of my hair", she cried.

"I look like the wild man of Bonio and the wind's made my titinus (tinnitus) come back!"

Gossiping about a dubious friend's ‘act of kindness’ one day, Mum insisted that she definitely had an "interior motive".

You couldn't make them up if you tried!

Mum's mistakes never end, thank goodness, and when she repeats herself she gets a sense of "jay-da vu" One of her most recent gems was when we were looking for a rental home for her in Gran Alacant.

"Bev, make sure that you find me a house at the top of the hill,’’ she instructed. ‘‘I don't want a big salami to come and wash me away!"

Swearing Then there was her almost unprintable gaffe after watching a famous stand-up comedian on the box.

"He is funny," she admitted, "but I can't stand the swearing. The f**king (she said the full word) and blinding isn't necessary.’’

She can even kill me without making verbal hiccups.

On one occasion I was winding her up, as usual, and she lost her rag and stuck her index finger up at me.

"Mum, you're using the wrong finger," I tittered.

She dropped her right hand and promptly stuck up her left index finger.

Well done mum, you're unique!

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WOOL YOU BELIEVE IT?

Friday, November 4, 2011

head? n o tt u m , a a b t s re a e Where’s the n

5,000 sheep, beefed up by 60 cattle, flock into central Madrid...because they can

By SALLY BENGTSSON

SHEPHERDS led 5,000 sheep through the streets of Madrid on Sunday to defend ancient droving rights.

Refusing to allow urban sprawl to baa their way, the shepherds flocked onto the city’s streets.

Shepherds have a right to use 78,000 miles of paths for Where seasonal livestock migrathere’s a tions from cool highland paswool, tures in summer to warmer there’s a grazing in winter.

THE Guardia Civil have The movement is called way... even recovered FOUR TONS of through transhumance and in Spain it stolen goods from a gang the centre involves around a million aniof Romanian burglars. of Madrid Fifteen men have been mals, mostly sheep and cattle. arrested, plus an underThis year some 5,000 Some paths have been age suspect. They all sheep and 60 cattle crossed used annually for more than belong to three families. the city.

800 years, and modern-day The Civil Guard said on With shear determination Wednesday that the gang Madrid is on the route of two they even passed through north-south paths, one dating worked seven days a Puerta del Sol, a thronging week, carrying out up to back to 1372. plaza that is Spain’s equivaThe Puerta del Sol – 10 robberies every night lent of New York’s Times mainly in the Spain’s most emblematic Square – although on square now straddles one Guadalhorce Valley, but Sunday it was more like Wool also in Málaga, Algeciras, of the routes.

Street.

Rather than make a ewe Granada and Córdoba.

Many Spaniards treasure They are believed to be turn, the shepherds have for ancient shepherding custhe past 18 years halted trafresponsible for over 100 fic in autumn to assert their toms and feel particularly burglaries since March. proud of native strains such right to cross the city. as Merino sheep which have gone on to form the backbone of important wool industries around the world.

Will the shepherds regain their ancient rights? No doubt the fight will be continewed.

POLICE NAB BURGLARS’ 4-TON HAUL

Macabre mystery of body in boot of burnt-out car

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A bound-and-gagged body was discovered in the boot of a burnt-out car in the town of Sax early on Monday last week.

The vehicle, pictured above, was found abandoned straddling two lanes of the A31 motorway.

It’s discovery followed reports that a car had veered off the road and burst into flames in the middle of the carriageway.

Firemen who raced to the scene discovered the

GUARDIA IN PROBE INTO SAX KILLING body in the boot of the car, hands tied together, but had difficulty identifying the victim’s gender due to extensive fire damage. The body was partially burnt but appeared to be that of a man.

The Guardia Civil have opened an investigation.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

CUT OFF THE CUT-OFF CLOWNS! IT really is shocking. In fact it’s downright re-volting. But I’m beginning to think the majority of expats have suffered the indignity of having their electricity cut off by gung-ho suppliers.

The usual reason is a mix-up over bank payment of bills. And invariably the whole thing is completely avoidable.

In the UK it just couldn’t happen. But here in Spain, you don’t get asked questions. If a direct debit payment is not cleared, whatever the reason, the supplier pulls the plug.

Whether it’s Iberdrola, HC Energia, E.ON or any other supplier, they ALL seem to operate a ‘zero tolerance’ policy. And it’s not unusual for defaulters to say goodbye to their meter as well as their power.

Then follows a horror scenario in which the missing payment is cleared and the supplier promises to restore power ‘within five to 10 days’. Only they usually forget to do it unless they are bombarded with telephone calls on a twice-daily basis. For heavens sake, why can’t they put it back on the same day – certainly when it’s clear the customer was not deliberately avoiding payment?

I hear so many stories on these lines, that I suspect thousands of us have at some stage been left in the dark by insensitive retards in administration departments.

And I’ll wager that virtually all those cutoffs followed a mix-up involving the supplier, the homeowner and a bank. I also sus-

CRUEL CUT: Jane and Graham Lilley

Spanish electricity suppliers are far too quick in cutting off power and removing meters

Talking it out would end all the aggro pect nobody had a clue the switch was to be pulled on them until the moment their telly and computer screens went blank.

Five months after I bought my house in El Raso in 2006, HC Energia cut me off. They had been taking direct debits regularly and the first I knew of a problem was when my keyholder called me in the UK to say there was a big red notice on my door saying my power had been cut off.

It turned out that, months earlier, there had been insufficient funds in my Spanish bank account to meet the opening charges.

However, nobody told me and the subsequent direct debit payments all went out with no problem.

It seems HC Energia’s database suddenly

told them my first payment was still owed.

The sensible and logical procedure would have been to request the missing payment again from my bank – or to contact me personally (they had my numbers in the UK).

Either way, they would have been paid immediately. Instead, they cut the power.

With no warning whatsoever.

It took several days and an inordinate amount of stress to sort things out, but at least I was not living in the house at the time.

It is those poor people left in darkness and cold because of these stupid and unnecessary cut-offs that I feel for – particularly the elderly and those with young kids.

It’s even worse so for people like Jane

and Graham Lilley, who, as we reported last week, were forced to shut Ricardo’s barbistro at El Raso for NINE days because of a mix-up involving E.ON. There are a lot of things I like about Spain, but when it comes to administrative matters, they trail miserably behind the UK and indeed the civilized world.

Britain has the best bureaucrats on the planet – and Spain pretty much the worst. In fact, they are such a shambles that they look up to the Third World.

If an electricity, water or gas company plans to cut you off in Watford, Wolverhampton or Wakefield, you will always be given plenty of notice.

Iberdrola, HC Energia and Co will tell you they do the same. But don’t you believe it.

I’ve lost count of the tales I’ve heard of people being left in limbo because important information has been entered incorrectly into a data base – or not entered at all.

An E.ON spokesperson told me they had written to the Lilleys three times. The Lilleys swear they never received a thing – and with Spain’s notoriously unreliable postal system, I don’t doubt it.

Why on earth did E.ON not just send a representative to Ricardo’s bar to collect any arrears? What could be easier?

There is a simple ‘keep everybody happy’ solution which would prevent virtually every disconnection. And that is to contact the client PERSONALLY before doing anything drastic.

A knock on the door or personal phone call is all that is required - and most debts would be instantly cleared. Cut-offs no, common sense yes. Entiende?

Did they cut YOU off?

l

HAS your electricity, water or gas supply ever been cut off without good reason? And how much did it cost you to get it restored – in both money and stress? Email your horror stories to donna@thecourier.es

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday, November 4, 2011

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Here come the Martians!

I WAS feeling a little low last Tuesday so I thought a visit to the doctor's would be appropriate.

But first I had to phone for an appointment.

'I'm afraid the doctor is fully booked,' the receptionist said. 'He can see you only if it is an emergency.'

'I quite understand,' I said quite understandingly. 'I'm so sorry for taking up your time.'

I cut the connection and pondered on those poor unfortunates among my fellow patients who were in much greater medical need than I was.

My GP's practice might not be perfect but at least the emergency appointments system allowed for the more seriously ailing to gain speedier access to the doctor's expertise.

I redialed the surgery. 'Hello,' I said. 'I need to make an emergency appointment.'

'Name?' asked the receptionist.

'Clancy,' I fibbed.

'No it isn't. I recognise your voice. It's Mr Silver, isn't it?'

'Might be,' I mumbled, removing the handkerchief from over the mouthpiece and the cotton wool balls from inside my cheeks.

'Are my tones that distinctive that even deliberate distortion fails to conceal my identity?'

'Got it in one,' said the receptionist. 'It's probably because you phone us almost every day asking to see the doctor.'

I heard a rustling of paper. 'Now let me get this correct for the pending nuisance report to the area health authority,' the receptionist went on.

'Yesterday you thought you'd come down with a bout of Alien Hand Syndrome and the day before it was a case of Capgras Delusion.'

I shook my fist down the phone in frustration. 'But those disorders do exist,' I pointed out. 'Don't you think I checked when I keyed in my symptoms on the rare illnesses diagnostic website I subscribe to?'

The receptionist sighed. 'All I can suggest is that if you feel today's ailment is indeed an emergency, then you should

visit the hospital.'

'I already did that,' I countered. 'They sent me away with a written warning about acting daft.'

I decided to try a new tack -- whingeing and whining.

'The doctor has got to see me,' I begged. 'I've found myself suddenly cast out from my comfort zone.'

Before I could get a response, the phone was grabbed out of my hand by Mrs S. 'When my husband refers dramatically to being removed from his comfort zone, what he actually means is that he fell out of bed this morning.'

I snatched back the phone. 'That was because of my recurring nightmare,' I said. Mrs S grabbed the phone again.

'His only recurring nightmare is me.'

The receptionist sighed again. 'I'm sorry but I need to tear myself away from this delightful insight into your life of connubial bliss. I have samples to send off.'

Which reminds me. Both my mother and father also once fell out of bed.

Dad would rise every morning at 7.15 and stroll to the newsagent's to buy his morning paper before he went to work.

But something went awry with his routine one summer's day back in the 1950s.

As he stepped out, he observed that the sky was pitch black. It was also eerily quiet with no sounds of traffic or bird

song. The trouble with Dad was that he had too fertile an imagination, especially in the summer of 1953 after he had seen the new sci-fi film The War of the Worlds.

Dad blanched in the darkness. Could the Martians have indeed invaded? And why opt for that particular locale?

Blackpool would have been a wiser choice because there was always lots there for visitors to do. So why on earth Manchester?

Then Dad reasoned that an alien invasion was highly unlikely. After all, such a momentous event would surely have merited a mention in that day's newspaper.

But then again he hadn't seen that day's journal because his newsagent's, usually buzzing with activity at that time of the morning, was shuttered, locked and bolted.

The little green men had obviously started their takeover by imposing censorship.

Dad knelt on the pavement and was about to utter a desperate prayer when he thought first to check his watch.

'You idiot!' he berated himself. 'I've made the classic error.'

Yes, poor Dad realised he'd misread his Mickey Mouse bedside clock. It hadn't been 7.15 when he got up.

His still-sleepy brain had managed to transpose Mickey's big and little fingers. The time had actually been 3.35am. It was still night time.

Dad rose from his knees, glanced about him to ensure that no insomniac earthlings had witnessed his idiocy, scuttled back to the house and climbed into bed.

A few hours later Mother awoke to find lying beside her on top of the bedclothes what appeared to be a snoring stranger clad in shirt and tie, jacket and trousers, socks and shoes and with a trilby hat fallen down over his face.

Mother screamed in shock and fell out of bed. Her shrieks woke up Dad, who likewise yelled out in terror and fell out of the other side of the bed.

The shrieking and double-thump as my parents hit the bedroom floor woke up our dog, who leapt in panic out of his basket on the landing.

The frightened mutt dived into the airing cupboard and concealed his quivering form under the folded bath towels.

Thus dawned another typical day in the Silver family household . . .

'That was a most illuminating story,' commented the doctor's receptionist at the other end of the phone.

'Tell me, Mr Silver, can you get to the surgery for 11 o'clock?'

SPANISH TOURISM BOOMING

AS 2011 visitor figures soar towards a record 57 million, Spain is a country still attracting tourists and investors in their droves.

And those looking to rent out second homes are set to benefit, with the news that 80% of tourists now book their own flights and accommodation rather than relying on traditional package holidays.

As a result there are huge

swathes of sun worshippers looking for a place to stay.

The length of time people spend in Spain has also risen by 2%.

Stays in owned apartments or rented villas are now for an average of 15 days – twice that of hotels.

Overall, holidaymakers stay an average of 11 days and spend €90 a day, more than half going on transport, excursions and eating out.

More people visited from the UK than any other country.

Investment in Spanish infrastructure is currently at record levels with €2 billion being spent on a Paramount Hollywood theme park, rail links and five new hotels on the Costa Calida, where a new international airport opens next year.

A €400m super marina is also planned for the Costa del Sol.

Friday, November 4, 2011

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12

THE

Protesting class of 43 find Reality joining the three Rs PROTESTING students were forced to face the fourth R – reality – when their demands had to give way to the economic crisis.

Pupils from Thader Secondary School in Orihuela held a protest last week to demand smaller class sizes.

Waving banners saying ‘Don’t play with our future!’ and ‘We aren’t bugs.

We want to learn!’, the youngsters marched through Orihuela centre to the Town Hall.

The protest was organised because of 43-pupil classes in the sixth form when the law states there should be no more than 39.

Acceptable The maximum number of pupils generally considered acceptable at secondary level in Spain is 35, with 10% leeway, so 39 would be the highest number permissible by law.

Most teachers agree that smaller classes work better, but with the economic crisis and no money for more teachers, they understand that everyone must grin and bear it and do their best.

Teachers say that, generally, pupils at this level of education cause few behavioural problems as they are in education because they choose to be there.

It is also considered better to have a large class than to leave a youngster out of school.

SALLY BENGTSSON

Friday, November 4, 2011

PRESS

5 million jobless as misery grows

BY SALLY BENGTSSON SPAIN’S jobless figures in the third quarter of this year reached their highest level in 15 years.

And the number of people out of work almost reached five million as the economic recovery seemed to halt.

According to the National Statistics Institute’s (INE) _latest Active Population Survey (EPA), released last Friday, the unemployment rate climbed by over sixtenths of a point to 21.5 per cent, as the ranks of the unemployed swelled by 144,700 to 4.978 million.

The figures were particularly bleak in light of the fact that hiring normally picks up in the third quarter for the peak tourist season in the summer.

The unexpected deterioration in the labour market could further dent the ruling Socialists’ already grim prospects in the November 20 General Election, which

has cut public sector wages, frozen pensions and stopped investment outlays as part of its commitment to trim the country’s budget deficit to six per cent of GDP this year from 9.2 per cent last year.

The all-too-human cost behind the figures was evidenced by the number of households in which all members of the family were out of work.

This figure rose by 57,700 to a record 1.425 million, more than three times the number at the end of 2007.

Of those fortunate enough destroyed were open-ended, to still be employed, over a as a result of the Socialists’ quarter are on temporary labour reform,” he added.

The bad news also elicited contracts, while the jobless statements from Socialist rate for workers under 25 stood at 45.8 per cent. officials.

Locally, Murcia bucked the “The Active Population Survey data is simply intoler- trend with the number of able,” said Socialist candi- unemployed falling by 1,500 date Alfredo Pérez people in the third quarter of Rubalcaba, citing the need the year.

However, at 24.19 per cent for “state investment in the economy” above and beyond Murcia still has the fourth highest unemployment rate austerity measures.

The central government in the country.

Mariano Rajoy: ‘Spain urgently needs a political change’

opinion polls indicate are likely to be won by the Popular Party.

Opposition leader Mariano Rajoy said the figures showed the need for a change in government.

“Spain urgently needs a political change; it needs it like it needs to eat, for the good of economic recovery and job creation,” he said at a rally in Avilés.

“The worst part is that all the contracts that were

Unwanted but 88% of drivers obey speed cameras DESPITE their unpopularity, it looks as if speed cameras and police radar are actually working.

The Spanish Security Council says 88% of cars that passed the cameras this year were travelling at below 65 kph.

This may well be because drivers reduce speed as soon as they see a sign warning of cameras ahead.

However, the statistics are very positive compared to five years ago, when cars were recorded in city centres at speeds of up to 180 kph.

Over recent years, local police have installed three radar appliances in Alicante city centre. The cameras are moved every two weeks. Despite the improved statistics, 760 cars were recorded doing over 100 kph in the city.

The fine for ‘doing a ton’ is between €301 and €602, plus a three-month licence suspension.

LATIN AMERICA SURPLUS ‘COULD END SUDDENLY’ THE King and Queen of Spain joined Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero at last week’s 21st Ibero-American Summit of Heads of State and Government in Asuncion.

Early speeches warned of the dangers the international crisis can pose for Latin America despite the fact that the region has responded successfully to what Peru’s President Ollanta Humala called the “northern storm”.

His Mexican counterpart Felipe Calderon warned that the period of surplus that Latin America is currently enjoying could “end suddenly” when the prices of the raw materials the region exports to Asia drop, exacerbated by financial speculation.

King Juan Carlos, tasked with delivering the final address, issued an invitation to next year’s summit in Cadiz.

Friday, November 4, 2011

13

STOP, POLICE! WHERE DID “Price and quality, the YOU BUY YOUR HARLEY? keys to our success”

A CUENCA court last Tuesday lifted a ban preventing imported second-hand Harley Davidsons from being driven on Spanish roads.

In March, the Guardia Civil’s Traffic and A c c i d e n t s Investigation Group (GIAT) impounded hundreds of used machines after observing "an unusual increase in inspections, prior to the registration in Spain of vehicles imported from the United States."

Specifically, the Guardia suspected a garage in Cuenca was issuing false ITV certificates of roadworthiness to imported machines, which have slightly different technical characteristics to those sold through Harley Davidson España.

But importers argue that American and

European machines are identical except for a difference in the HD countersign: American models carry the IHD and European bikes the 5HD, which the owners' association claims is simply a marketing matter and that the machines are

identical.

The court ruling, stated that the Cuenca garage does not have "public authority" and so could not have carried out "ideological falsification," and therefore the "infraction is administrative and not unlawful."

The owners' association said the order "clears up the situation of the bikes, which had been impounded indiscriminately by GIAT."

New volcano warning

THE Canary Islands government warned ;ast week that seismic activity in El Hierro was pointing to the risk of another volcanic eruption on the island.

The National Geographic Institute detected 31 tremors in the early hours of Tuesday, the biggest of which measured 3.9 on the Richter scale in the north of the island close to Frontera, where some 4,000 people live. Tremors were also felt on Sunday.

A volcanic eruption occurred in the sea south of the island on October 11, producing a sulphurous slick that was larger than the island itself.

"The scenario of a possible volcanic eruption cannot be ruled out from the new seismic activity that is taking place in the north," the government said.

The statement also warned islanders against eating fish until tests had been carried out for possible contamination.

Línea Directa Aseguradora is the market leader in the sale of direct insurance to foreign residents in Spain. Since 1998 they have been the only insurance company to offer customer services such as handling claims, selling policies and road assistance in English and German. Francisco Valencia, Línea Directa’s Corporate Governance Director, reveals the reasons behind the company’s success.

1.

How important are Expatriates to Línea Directa?

Since we first set up our company we have been closely linked to expatriates, due to the fact that the model for our company was imported directly from England, which meant that incorporating specific services for foreign residents in Spain was something completely natural.

Sixteen years later, expatriates form an important part of our strategy as a result of their driving FRANCISCO VALENCIA, Línea habits and low accident rate. Consequently, we Directa Aseguradora’s Corporate always try to offer them not only the best price, Governance Director but also the best service.

2. What is your company’s philosphy regarding these customers?

At Línea Directa our main concern has always been price and quality. We anticipate what the customer requires, offering a service which is fast, complete and immediate. For us there is no higher reward than the congratulations we receive every year from hundreds of our foreign clients on the professionalism and dedication shown by all our staff.

Helping a person who has just had an accident and does not know how to speak the language or understand how Spanish regulations work, is extremely satisfying. As a result, it is not surprising that we have just under 65,000 foreign customers.

You can find out more about all the benefits available at www.lineadirecta.com or by calling 902 123 104.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

GREEK TRAGEDY From Page One

suffer from the decision,” the former interior minister said. “What Greece does affects us, and in fact has been having an impact on us for 18 months now.”

The markets responded immediately.

Spain’s risk premium jumped 23 basis points to 375 after hitting a high of 385 basis points. That was just shy of the euro-era record high of 400, seen in early August.

And Spain’s banks suffered badly, with Santander down 4.76 per cent, and Caixabank off 5.98 per cent. La Razón reported yesterday that Spanish banks lost 6 billion on the markets in two days because of the Greek drama. It says Spain and Italy are in the eye of the hurricane.

Yesterday as pressure mounted there were indications that the EU would withhold bailout money from Greece unless the country cancelled the referendum. It was reported that if the referendum were to go ahead, Greece would receive no more money until a yes vote had been achieved.

Everyone was all too aware that a no vote

Who’ll be first out?

THESE are the latest odds on which country could leave the eurozone first, courtesy of William Hill: 1/6 Greece; 6/1 Italy & Portugal; 10/1 Spain; 12/1 Germany; 14/1 Ireland; 16/1 Belgium; 25/1 France in a Greek referendum could theoretically force Greece to crash out of the euro, with dire consequences globally. And with opinion polls showing that 60 per cent of Greeks are against the austerity measures, a yes vote was by no means certain.

But just how far would the EU go to keep Greece on board? The BBC’s economics editor Stephanie Flanders commented that the disruption caused by the prospect of a referendum on the Greek bailout means “the game has changed”.

“The change is that for President Sarkozy (pictured right) and Chancellor Merkel, keeping Greece in the euro is no longer pri-

ority number one. And a eurozone without Greece is no longer necessarily the worst outcome,” she said.

“There is a weary sense among officials here in Cannes that Greece is reaching the end of the road, and the priority now must be to contain the damage.

“That is why the talk is all of accelerating the creation of the European Stability Mechanism, the successor to the EFSF, and of additional IMF funds to backstop the entire system.

“If and when it happens, that new money won’t be for Greece: it will be there to persuade the financial markets, finally, that the resources are there to protect everyone else from any Greek fallout.”

With EU leaders united against Greece’s actions and a split forming in the Greek government over the referendum, shortly after midday it was reported that Papandreou would offer his resignation.

This was later denied amid talk that the referendum may be cancelled. If he does indeed go, the man tipped to replace him is

Lucas Papademos, former vice president of the European Central Bank and former Bank of Greece governor. But whether he or Papandreou can hold the country together and avert this crisis for Greece, Europe and beyond remains to be seen. lIn the midst of the crisis the European Central Bank announced that it was cutting interest rates by 0.25pc to 1.25pc. The rate cut caused sterling to spike against the euro.

DFS Spain: New home, still the best

DFS SPAIN has recently moved into a new store, just one kilometre from the old one. And still just 300metres from Iceland!

The new store has a larger selling area and many more windows, allowing better room setting displays.

However the major difference is that it has a CAR PARK. The owners have been in the retail and furniture business since the mid 1980’s.

DFS Spain not only sell SOFAS and a full range of furniture but also everything else to complete your new home, from shower cubicles to teaspoons and also an extensive range of garden furniture.

To celebrate the opening of the new store, new ranges have been introduced including High Gloss laminate lounge ranges and a Designer Sofa collection.

Paul Airey, DFS’s owner and sales director, says: “Over the past nine years I have noticed how difficult it is in Spain to get HARDWOOD

furniture at sensible prices. ‘‘Spain is a very important producer of laminates and therefore the majority of furniture sold is laminate or part laminate. Where furniture is made from SOLID WOOD it tends to be pine, which is a softwood and therefore not very hardwearing. ‘‘In recent years we have managed to find very good manufacturers of HARDWOOD furniture including light OAK and INDIAN ROSEWOOD (similar to teak

in colour but very hard) to make ranges exclusively for DFS in Spain. ‘‘Both these woods are very hard-wearing and therefore suitable for own or rental use. They have been used to make very high quality durable furniture with far more character - but at FANTASTIC PRICES. ‘‘These ranges have sold well since their introduction but there is also an increase in demand for modern gloss colours and so the increase in the new store display space has allowed us to introduce new very modern ranges.”

DFS in the UK are best known for sofas and DFS Spain also have an extensive range including high grade leathers and luxurious fabrics.

Many are made locally which means that special

sizes and layouts can be produced to ensure they fit correctly into your property.

Paul added: “At DFS Spain we pride ourselves on our

LEATHER SOFAS and the quality of the leather used.

Our ranges are up to four times thicker than many leathers sold nowadays and so buying leather can still mean buying quality and durability like it used to do 20 years ago.”

The Designer Collection is new to DFS Spain and contains sofas with a little more style than the usual found in this country. They are mainly a fabric collection and are available in a wide range of fabrics and colours.

Says Paul: “The sofa is usually the largest piece of furniture in the lounge and therefore it can be an eyesore or a major FEATURE within the property. The

Designer collection will add the WOW factor to any property - and at prices that won’t break the bank” DFS also have a wide range of BEDS, including storage beds and Viscolastic (memory Foam) beds. Paul says the DFS Spain bed range has been created with the English person in mind.

For more information about sofas or indeed any furniture, please feel free to call in and see Paul and his team at DFS Spain in San Javier or visit www.dfsspain.com which has an extensive range of furniture as well as links at www.dfsspain.com/offers to the company’s Offers and Packages websites.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

NO MARBLES AND NO GUTS - OUZO SILLY BOY, GEORGE! WHAT’S a referendum for? Answer: To help a politician or a group of politicians pass the buck or to solve a problem they haven’t got the guts to do so on their own.

It’s got nothing to do with democracy whatsoever. Take the UK’s first-ever referendum, which was about staying in the Common Market. It was foisted upon the British people by Harold Wilson after a bogus renegotiation of the terms of entry by his Foreign Secretary, Jim Callaghan.

The whole thing, as Wilson admitted when he retired, was a con-trick to help re-unite a Labour Party over the issue of Europe.

Once the result was declared in May 1975, Wilson could tell his party, enough was enough, and the fighting had to stop. To that end he was right, but they were to fragment over many other things later.

Now fast forward to early this week, and an even more dangerous use of a referendum - this time in Greece. Having probably imbibed more ouzo than he should, the Greek Prime Minister, George Papandreou, announced out of absolutely nowhere that he was going to have a public vote on the Greek austerity measures and the financial help that his government had secured from within Europe.

There’s more chance of Nana Mouskouri deciding to have laser eye surgery than the Greek people supporting the government, and as the shock of the announcement sank in, markets started to crash around Europe.

It’s a disgraceful bit of politics from Papandreou, who appears to have mislaid more than his Elgin Marbles on this one. He has clearly lost the stomach to put through crucial policies, despite having narrow parliamentary support, and vital backing from European leaders like Sarkozy and Merkel.

It is political grandstanding of the worst kind, as he is looking to improve his political position with a virtual “back me or go bankrupt” question to the Greek nation.

What sort of leadership is this, or does he know that the

You see, the gang at the Cathedral have all wanted to look nice and trendy and happy clappy supporting the demonstrators in their tirade against the wicked rich bankers.

But amidst all this, they’ve lost sight of their main business - and that’s looking after their flock.

Mind you, they’ve only taken their lead from the top. The Church of England, under the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, has been so wound up in sticking its nose into left-wing causes over the last few years, that it has forgotten what it is meant to be doing in the first place.

George Papandreou: Zero chance of repayment game is up?

This Greek tragedy sadly will have terrible consequences for us all. Eurozone members should have booted them out two years ago, rather than wasting time and money in a second-rate sticking plaster exercise.

IT really has been a case of “All Gas and Gaiters” at St Paul‘s Cathedral in London, with the clerical clods not having a clue what to do about the mini-tented village on their steps which has been disrupting pastoral activities for the last few weeks.

It all ended up with the Dean of St Paul’s, Graeme Knowles, quitting last Monday, but without a single apology for why church-goers have suffered greater disruption than Hitler’s planes could manage 70 years ago.

No wonder church members are switching to Catholicism and other religions whilst Dr Williams and his unelected dog-collared cronies are playing politics without having a single vote cast for them in a ballot box.

It’s hard to believe that outstanding men of quality like George Carey or Robert Runcie were Williams’ predecessors as he leads the Church of England into total irrelevancy.

Perhaps his boss, Her Majesty the Queen, should have a quiet word to remind him to stick to his job description, or even better, give him a good thump on the head with her trusty handbag!

A WASTE OF TIME

THE clocks went back an hour across Europe last weekend, and the UK Government is seriously sniffing at the idea of putting British clocks in sync with Central European time.

Not a bad idea, and many safety groups believe that an extra hour of evening daylight could save lives.

Whitehall mandarins are putting out feelers around the UK, but have already received a frosty response from the Scottish administration in Edinburgh. So what?

If the First Minister, Alex Salmond, likes the idea of independence so much, why doesn’t he create his own time zone for Scotland, rather than pouring cold water on something good for the vast majority of the UK?

THE BARBER SHOP – A CUT ABOVE THE REST! THE Barber Shop, as its name suggests, opened in March 2007 as a traditional gents hairdresser.

But through demand, Carina’s embryo business in La Marina’s Consum Square developed into a unisex salon, offering cuts, colours, blow dries, perms etc.

With expansion, the client base grew as customers began to flock in from Dolores, Rojales, Catral, Santa Pola, Gran Alacant and the urb itself.

Carina was joined by Carol, who had also been a hairdresser for over 30 years. Next recruit was Millar, an experienced gents barber - and then, last year, unisex hairdresser Michael joined the staff.

In the last few months, nail technician Sam has

affordable to all - and include pensioners and children’s rates.

The Barber shop is open six days a week from 10am, with parking right outside the door. You’ll find it next to Temptations bar. Just walk in or call for an appointment hair 600 720 994, nails etc 634 324 294.

been added to the team, offering nail art, acrylics, manicures and pedicures.

Sam is also a qualified florist, using fresh and artificial flowers for her beautiful

arrangements which can be ordered within the salon.

The Barber Shop has been well supported over the five years since it opened and new clients continue to come

all the time.

The salon has a relaxed and friendly vibe and continues to strive to please its clients.

Prices have been kept

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Friday, November 4, 2011

THIS WEEK IN

Naked at noon: The ultimate test(icle) ITV’s This Morning stunned viewers on Tuesday by showing a naked model being checked for testicular cancer live on air.

Daily Mail

as host Phillip Schofield looked on.

This Morning viewers will be familiar with The ITV1 magazine show had been run- the programme discussing intimate health ning a feature on male-related cancers when and personal issues, but the latest feature they screened a man having his testicles was one of their most daring yet. examined by the show's doctor.

Just last month Schofield and Holly The intimate shots showed the model, Willoughby introduced a segment on the naked save for a white dressing gown, hav- show entitled 'Sexperts talk libido', featuring ing his genitals examined by Dr Chris Steele the latest in vibrator technology and sex positions for the over-60s.

Daily Mirror Reaction to Tuesday’s footage was largely positive, with many congratulating This Morning for tackling a serious health issue head on.

The on-air testicular cancer check was shown to POLICE are probing racist abuse sent to a Newcastle mark the start of 'Movember', United footballer via Twitter. where men around the counSammy Ameobi, who plays alongside older brother try grow moustaches to raise Shola, was called a "n****r" by a follower with the user awareness for male health, name @JonnnnyPhipps after the footballer tweeted a in particular male-related photo of a black pair of cancers. boots.

Their live ‘testicular cancer Sammy, 19, (pictured) check-up clinic’ was aired retweeted the abuse he before noon, along with received, and his advice for men on how to attacker's account was check properly for signs of closed down. the disease.

A Northumbria Police A spokesperson for This spokeswoman said: "The Morning said: ‘‘Testicular matter was reported to cancer is an important issue police on Sunday. Police

Police probe racist Tweet to footballer

are investigating."

A club spokeswoman said: "Newcastle United will not tolerate racism of any kind and will take the strongest possible action against those responsible."

Ameobi had posted a message alongside the photo of the Nike boots, saying: "There will always be a place in my heart for the all blacks."

The abuser replied: "Your hand is nearly the same colour. #n*****r."

Retweeting the message, Ameobi added: "Sad to see some people are still racist nowadays."

About a girl: Hugh Grant a first-time dad at 51

to our viewers and the item and advice offered on this programme - which we have covered before with lots of positive feedback - has again generated many positive comments and no complaints.’’

One viewer commented on Twitter: ‘‘Not usually something I watch but good to see @itvthismorning featuring #movember and demystifying testicular cancer.’’

Another surprised viewer added on the micro-blogging site: ‘’Well done to @itvthis-

morning for highlighting testicular cancer - get checking those lil' wrinkly bits boys it could save your life!'

However, not all reaction to the daring segment was positive..

One viewer Tweeted: 'I know it's for a good reason but watching a man’s testicles on this morning was strange #movember' Another fan added: ‘‘No This Morning, I do not want to see testicles on my TV screen at lunchtime.’’

UK needs 200 new homes a day

SPIRALLING immigration means 200 new homes need to be built every day for 23 years to cope with the influx.

Shock figures unveiled by Tory MP Nicholas Soames and Labour’s Frank Field reveal the extent of the crisis.

They say mass migration is “simply unsustainable” and David Cameron’s pledge to bring migration down to “tens of thousands”

Daily Express a year is unworkable because of the Coalition.

Their comments came as MigrationWatch UK launched an e-petition to get the issue debated by MPs. It calls on Mr Cameron to clamp down on immigration, seen as the major factor behind the rising numbers.

ACTOR Hugh Grant has become a dad for the first time at the age of 51.

The rom-com A-lister, best known for films About A Boy and Notting Hill, welcomed a daughter into the world after a fleeting affair with a mystery woman.

His spokeswoman said: "I can confirm that Hugh Grant is the delighted father of a baby girl.

He and the mother had a fleeting affair and while this was not planned, Hugh could not be happier or more supportive.

"He and the mother have discussed everything and are on very friendly terms."

The identity of the mother was not disclosed.

This is the first child for Grant, who has had previous high-profile relationships with model Elizabeth Hurley and British socialite Jemima Khan.

Earlier this year he was linked to Chinese actress Tinglan Hong, 31.

THE

PRESS

Test stars jailed over Pakistan cricket fix

JUDGE: THEY DAMAGED THE GAME’S INTEGRITY THREE of the world's top cricketers were jailed yesterday (Thursday) for their parts in a match-fixing scam that rocked international sport.

Pakistan's former Test captain Salman Butt, 27, received a 30month sentence and fast bowler Mohammad Asif, 28, was given a 12-month term behind bars for plotting to bowl deliberate noballs in the Lord's Test against England last summer.

Teenage fast bowler Mohammad Amir was jailed for six months after he admitted bowling two intentional no-balls.

The corrupt UK-based sports agent at the heart of the fixing scandal, Mazhar Majeed, 36, was jailed for two years and eight months at London's Southwark Crown Court.

Passing sentence, Mr Justice Cooke said the four men had damaged the image and integrity of cricket through their actions.

He said they engaged in corruption in a game whose very name used to be associated with "fair dealing on the sporting field".

The judge told the court: "'It's not cricket' was an adage. It is the insidious effect of your actions on professional cricket and the followers of it that make the

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Friday, November 4, 2011

JAILED: Salman Butt (left) and Mohammad Asif offences so serious.

"The image and integrity of what was once a game but is now a business is damaged in the eyes of all, including the many youngsters who regarded you as as heroes and would have given their eye teeth to play at the levels and with the skills that you had."

Butt, Asif and Majeed are expected to begin their sentences at Wandsworth prison in south London. Amir is due to be sent to Feltham young offenders' institute, but his barrister, Henry Blaxland QC, said he intended to apply for bail pending an appeal against his sentence.

FACEBOOK USED BY ONE BRIT IN 10 TO TRACE OLD FLAMES ONE in 10 Britons has admitted tracking down former lovers through Facebook in the hope of rekindling lost romance, according to a survey.

A total of 16% revealed they regularly use social media to keep tabs on old flames, while 1% ended up sleeping with their exes after reconnecting online.

But most flings tended to be oneoffs, with few finding past passions still burning, according to the poll by people-finding service FinderMonkey.co.uk.

Others questioned said seeing a picture of a past partner was enough to make them reconsider whether they were wise to have started a relationship in the first place.

The Sun Some 4% of those surveyed had used the internet to trace long-lost family members, including parents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

A FinderMonkey.co.uk spokesman said: "I have to admit to being surprised that one in 10 of us have tracked down exes through Facebook, but pleased that very few have followed it through.

"I guess the curious side in all of us loves to know how people are getting on, even those we've shared a bed with in the past.

"Finding friends is probably the easiest one to do, especially if it isn't about rekindling an old romance.

in a r y b d e v a s d la Earthquake uake survived by drinkfive days after an earthq A BOY of 13 buried for him. Ferhat Tokay was und ough the rubble aro thr d ppe dri t tha n rai ing ck of flats in Turkey. from the ruins of a blo pulled alive last Friday first floor of the sevenin a shoe shop on the g rkin wo n bee it collapsed. had He storey building when said: "It's a 34, an, rm Ne His mum me he prayed great miracle. He told prayers he his all d and when he sai ." hem ant al ion nat the recited t he had tha State-run TV reported workers e scu Re gulped rainwater. was no re the es ativ had told his rel e. But aliv him ing find chance of

The Sun

ris Dogan exhausted medic Ba ging and we said: "We started dig we started saw his hand. Then d, 'I'm hunsai He speaking to him. '." sty gry and thir "He didn't His uncle Sahin said: !" him on even have a scratch Ercis, in ed pen The rescue hap dest har n tow h rkis Tu the eastern ich wh ke qua hit by a 7.2 magnitude d. dea left at least 575 people

Sit on the floor, the train’s speeding up, ‘sardine’ passengers told PASSENGERS on an overcrowded train were asked to sit on the floor for their own safety as the service sped up to recover lost time.

More than 160 people were without seats on the Virgin service from London Euston to Liverpool Lime Street when the guard made

Daily Mail the extraordinary request last Thursday ostensibly for health and safety reasons.

The 439-seat train was carrying 600 passengers on a delayed two-hour journey.

Ken Gibbs of Virgin Trains said the guard may have been ‘a little enthusiastic with his

announcement’ and safety was not at stake. ‘‘Overcrowding on trains is an issue we take very seriously,’ he added. ‘‘Trains are always going to be crowded for as long as we have walk-up railway, where people can buy tickets just before they travel.’

A regular Virgin customer, who was on the train but asked not to be named, said the

announcement had caused 'mass confusion' on board the packed carriages. ‘‘I didn't know whether it was a joke or whether it might have been some uncommon safety procedure. ‘‘I didn't see anyone actually sit down, but there was deinfitely a few looks around to see if somebody else was going to do it.’’

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Bonfire Night recipes BANGERS & BEANS This comforting casserole is a real crowd-pleaser, great served with jacket potatoes on Bonfire Night

Family-friendly recipes to warm you up after watching the sky light up on November 5th

Ingredients 3 tbsp vegetable oil 1 onion , finely chopped 2 celery sticks, finely chopped 4 rashers streaky bacon , chopped 1 tbsp tomato purée 2 x 400g cans chopped tomato 2 tbsp dark brown sugar 2 tsp Dijon mustard 2 thyme sprigs 2 tsp Worcestershire sauce 2 x 400g cans cannellini beans, rinsed and drained 2 red peppers , deseeded and chopped 2 x 450g packs herby sausages handful parsley leaves, chopped, to serve (optional)

Method Heat 2 tbsp oil in a large flameproof casserole. Add the onion, celery and bacon, then cook for 5-10 mins until softened. Turn up the heat and add the tomato purée. Cook for 2 mins, then add the chopped tomatoes, sugar, mustard, thyme, Worcestershire sauce and 200ml water, then bring to the boil. Cook, uncovered, over a low heat for 15 mins. Add the beans and peppers, then simmer for 15 mins more, topping up with a little

HOMEMADE TOFFEE APPLES Nothing beats the crunch of a toffee apple on a crisp autumnal evening, and these taste so much better than shop bought ones.

Ingredients 8 Granny Smith apples 400g golden caster sugar 1 tsp vinegar 4 tbsp golden syrup

Method boiling water if needed.

Meanwhile, heat oven to 190C/170C fan/ gas 5. Toss the sausages with remaining 1 tbsp oil and spread out on a baking tray.

Cook for 30 mins until browned all over, turning occasionally. Nestle the sausages among the beans, then cover and place the pan in the oven. Cook for 30 mins more.

Remove from the oven, sprinkle over the parsley, if using, and serve with the baked potatoes (see 'Goes well with'). Can be made up to 2 days in advance and reheated in a low oven or on the hob.

POTATO WEDGES WITH CURRY SAUCE

HONEYED CARROT SOUP Ingredients

Ingredients

2 tbsp butter 2 small leeks, sliced 800g carrots, roughly chopped 2 tsp clear honey small pinch dried chilli flakes (optional) 1 bay leaf 2½ l vegetable stock soured cream or yogurt , to serve

6 large baking potatoes 1 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp tikka masala curry paste 1 tbsp tomato purée 400g can reduced-fat coconut milk handful coriander leaves, chopped (optional) juice 1/2 lemon

Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6. Cut the potatoes into wedges. Pour the oil into a large roasting pan (no need to peel), toss in the wedges until coated all over, then season with pepper. Bake for 35-40 mins until crisp and golden.

140C or 'hard crack' stage. If you don't have a thermometer you can test the toffee by pouring a little into a bowl of cold water. It should harden instantly and, when removed, be brittle and easy to break. If you can still squish the toffee, continue to boil it.

Working quickly and carefully, dip and twist each apple in the hot toffee until covered, let any excess drip away, then place on the baking parchment to harden. You may have to heat the toffee a little if the temperature drops and it starts to feel thick and viscous. Leave the toffee to cool before eating.

Can be made up to 2 days in advance, stored in a dry place.

Kids love this rich, warming soup but it's sophisticated enough for adults, too.

This creamy curry sauce makes a perfect dipping partner for crispy potato wedges

Method

Place the apples in a large bowl, then cover with boiling water (you may have to do this in 2 batches). This will remove the waxy coating and help the caramel to stick. Dry thoroughly and twist off any stalks. Push a wooden skewer or lolly stick into the stalk end of each apple.

Lay out a sheet of baking parchment and place the apples on this, close to your stovetop. Tip the sugar into a pan along with 100ml water and set over a medium heat.

Cook for 5 mins until the sugar dissolves, then stir in the vinegar and syrup. Set a sugar thermometer in the pan and boil to

Method Put the curry paste and tomato purée in a saucepan, stir well and fry for 1 min. Add the coconut milk, bring to the boil, then gently simmer for 10 mins. Can be frozen or made up to a day ahead. Season to taste and finish with a squeeze of lemon juice and a scattering of coriander, if using.

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the leeks to the pan, then cook for 3 mins until starting to soften. Add the carrots, honey, chilli (if using) and bay leaf, then cook for 2 mins.

Pour in the stock, bring to the boil, then simmer for 30 mins. Blend the soup in batch-

es, return to a clean pan, then season to taste. When ready to serve, bring back to a simmer, then ladle into mugs. Add a swirl of soured cream or yogurt and serve with garlic bread or bacon butties.

Friday, November 4, 2011

STICKY PEAR & GINGER CAKE This is a cross between a sticky toffee pudding and a ginger cake. Serve warm with ice cream or cream as a dessert

A non-alcoholic alternative to mulled wine, ideal for entertaining kids and drivers

Ingredients

Ingredients FOR THE CAKE 250g stoned dates, finely chopped 300ml milk 100g butter, plus extra for the tin 140g ginger preserve (you'll find this with the jams) 140g dark muscovado sugar 3 large ripe pears (we used Conference) 175g self-raising flour 50g pecans nuts, reserve 10 and chop the rest 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda 2 tsp ground ginger ½ tsp mixed spice 2 eggs, beaten FOR THE BRANDY SYRUP 85g light muscovado sugar 150ml brandy

Method Put the chopped dates in a pan with the milk, butter, ginger preserve and dark muscovado. Heat gently until the butter has melted and the mixture starts to bubble round the edges of the pan. Stir well and set aside for 1 hr to cool.

Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Line the base of a buttered 23cm springform tin with baking parchment. Peel and chop the pears into

MULLED APPLE JUICE

large chunks. Mix the flour, chopped pecans and bicarb with the spices, then stir into the cooled date mixture with the eggs. Pour into the tin and scatter over the pears.

Roughly break the reserved pecans and drop on top.

Bake for 40 mins, then cover the top loosely with foil and return to the oven for 25-30 mins more until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out with just sticky crumbs - the cake may still look a little wet around the pears.

While the cake is baking, make the brandy syrup. Tip the light muscovado sugar into a pan with 50ml water and dissolve over a low heat until syrupy. Stir in the brandy and set aside. When the cake is ready, spoon over half the syrup, then leave the cake to cool before serving with extra syrup on the side.

To freeze, cool the cake in its tin, then wrap well and freeze for up to 3 months.

Defrost and warm through in a low oven. The syrup can be frozen separately, warmed, then drizzled over as before.

1l apple juice strips of orange peel 1 cinnamon stick , plus extra to garnish, if you like 3 cloves sugar or honey, to taste

Method Simmer the apple juice with the strips of orange peel, cinnamon stick and cloves for about 5-10 mins until all the flavours have infused. Sweeten to taste.

Serve each drink with a little orange peel and a piece of cinnamon stick, if you like.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

‘Best kept secret in Cabo Roig’

By AMANDA BLACK

THE Manhattan restaurant is often described as ‘the best kept secret in Cabo Roig’, but with its reputation for quality homemade food at unbelievable prices growing fast, it is not going to stay secret for long.

Tucked away in the Rotonda Aparthotel complex, Calle del Agua, the Manhattan is not easy to find. But if you do make it down the pedestrian walkway and through the Rotonda’s reception, you are in for a big surprise. And, once ,you know where it is you are guaranteed to go back again and again. All Manhattan’s customers do.

Many things make the Manhattan stand out in this busy commercial area, where practically every building houses a restaurant or a bar.

First, there is the tranquillity. Although only a stone’s throw from the busy main road, once in the Manhattan you are completely unaware of the noise. Inside, the restaurant is smart and comfortable, and alfresco diners can enjoy a shady terrace overlooking the swimming pool.

Then there is the friendly service. The Manhattan is a family run restaurant and the

personal touch shows as owners Paul and Dawn Mansell make all their customers feel welcome.

But what really makes the Manhattan special is the food.

Dawn is the head chef and has created an extensive menu of pub favourites.

You’ll find everything from fish and chips and lamb chops to Madras-style chicken curry.

This may sound like the type of food you could get in dozens of establishments up and down the coast, but you’d have to go a long way to find dishes cooked quite like Dawn’s.

The starting point for all Dawn’s recipes is quality, fresh ingredients. While the Manhattan offers main courses starting at only €4.50, Dawn refuses to cut corners on quality to keep the prices low.

“It is possible to produce excellent food, with the best ingredients, without putting up the prices,” says Paul.

And Dawn has certainly proved this. Her steak pie, packed with thick chunks of steak and topped with melt-inthe-mouth pastry, is so good it actually reduced one customer to tears. “It reminded him of pies he used to love and eat with a close friend in the West Midlands. His friend had since died and the taste brought tears to his eyes,” says Paul.

It is really no surprise that Paul and Dawn are doing such a great job with the Manhattan as they have a wealth of experience with food and hospitality. They took over the Manhattan 18 months ago but have been in Spain for eight years and run two bars on the Lemon Tree market. The couple’s sons, Jack and Joe, help run the restaurant and bars.

Before they came to Spain the pair ran a pub restaurant in Telford for four years and a Deli in Bromsgrove.

Many of Dawn’s most popular dishes were developed and perfected for customers in the UK. Some of her dishes go back even further as Dawn has been a passionate cook since she was a child.

Paul tells the story of how Dawn used to make cakes in a friend’s kitchen when she was 12 and the cakes were so

good the friend was off selling them behind Dawn’s back.

Luckily, Paul keeps an eye on business these days.

The Manhattan’s three course homemade menu del dia is incredible value at just €7.95, and is served from noon until 9pm. But if you’re not so hungry, you can choose just a main. It is perfectly possible for a couple to eat and have drinks for less than €13. It really is astonishing how they can do this and keep the quality so high.

Menu favourites include the Full of Fish Pie, which lives up to its name and is stuffed full of salmon, smoked haddock and prawns, the fantastically authentic lasagne and the best quality T-bone and sirloin steaks.

For dessert, old classics such as bread and butter pudding, apple pie, trifle and crumble put in an appearance. But these aren’t just any old puddings; these are Dawn’s quality homemade puddings.

Then there is Sunday lunch. One of the best roast dinners you are likely to get on the coast, with one course €5.95, two €6.95 and three €7.95. How do they do it?

Right now, Paul and Dawn are working on their winter menu, and are introducing 20 new dishes. We tried to get some inside information before going to press, but it was all a bit hush-hush, so you will have to go along to find out what tasty winter warmers are being served up.

The only hint we got from Paul is that there will be dishes people loved eating when they were children. Whatever they are, we know they will be homemade from the freshest ingredients and really, really tasty. Oh, and great value, too.

Throughout November Manhattan will be serving Christmas fare and they are now taking bookings for their Christmas Day menu; a full Christmas dinner for €39.95.

The only problem with the Manhattan is that once you go, you may find you will want to give up cooking completely.

One customer complained that his wife wanted to sell the cooker as she couldn’t see any reason to eat at home any more.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

WRITERS’ CORNER

Reading into the art of publishing your own book

By SANDRA KNOTT

The dirt sticks in rubbish game

By SALLY BENGTSSON RUBBISH is still news in Orihuela, especially now that Angel Fenoll’s tip is again under threat of being closed - and local citizens don’t know where their rubbish will be going, if anywhere at all.

The renowned tip is situated right on the border of the comunidades of Murcia and Valencia, a fact which has been useful for Fenoll, who uses whichever legislation is more beneficial to him.

(Neither comunidad is exactly sure how much of the tip is within their jurisdiction. ) Antonio Angel Fenoll is the son of the most polemic businessman in the whole of Vega Baja. He spoke to Informacion newspaper about the wheeling and dealing which Fenoll’s-

father carried out in order to obtain the rubbish contract. It is all well known and well documented, and became one of the biggest scandals of the area.

All the rubbish collected in the whole of Orihuela county goes to this tip. That is, after each individual town hall (19 in La Vega and four in Murcia) pays for the rubbish to be left there, which at the end of the day is in the form of a tax paid by each and every citizen.

Ready Rubbish is big business. It directly provides 150 jobs, and indirectly provides another 100. The dump only closes for eight hours a week, to clean machinery. Some 85% of the rubbish is recycled, providing yet more income for Fenoll. The rest is buried.

Fenoll has confirmed that if he is

THE rousing sounds of Torrevieja Pipes and Drums will be marking Armistice Day next Friday and Remembrance Sunday on November 13.

Join their tribute to the fallen heroes of war on Friday at La Siesta Church and the following Sunday at Mil Palmeras Church. Both events start at 10.30am.

The band is also looking for new members. They practise in Hoggies Bar, San Luis, on Mondays and Wednesdays at 10am. Anyone interested in joining can contact Barry on 626839951 or Donnie on 619800752.

forced to close the tip, he will continue in the rubbish business. He knows that even if he has to pay to have the 15% of unusable rubbish buried elsewhere, he will still make a profit from recycling the other 85%.

Proambiente pays Fenoll between seven and 27 euros for every tonne of rubbish sent to a tip, depending on the individual town hall it comes from.

Other tips charge between 50 and 70 euros a tonne. Fenoll offered such a good price because he was offered an indefinite contract. He knows that he offers the best deal in the whole area, and believes this will keep him work.

In the long run, citizens taxes will go up if the rubbish is sent elsewhere, as the other tips charge more. But should this be the deciding factor in such a murky business?

iT WAS really nice to receive an email from a fellow writer called Dieter Rudolph last week. This is what he wrote: ‘I am interested in your proposal regarding books. Always great to find people with lots of initiative and enthusiasm. I have just completed my first book and am currently working on ensuring that photos I am using downloaded off the internet will not land me in prison due to copyright that may apply. Using my contacts on that, however, it may mean a trip over to the UK to visit libraries. Whatever it takes.

‘I intend to publish it myself as an E-Book and your idea and the people who hopefully will also be in touch with you surely will be able to guide me along the path.’

I know how you feel, Rudolph. When I wrote my first book I really believed all I had to do with my ‘much-loved baby’ was to put it in the hands of a Publisher and that would be that. I would become famous and everyone would be reading my wonderful book.

Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. I’ve found out the hard way that to publish a book and see it become a best seller, you need to be a celebrity or have pockets full of money.

Ready It hasn’t stopped me writing. I love it but now with the help of friendly advisers I’ve published my second book on Kindle and my third is almost ready for publishing. I know that unless I’m ready to put in the manpower, my books may not keep me in riches beyond my dreams. But I have achieved a dream. My kids and grandchildren are proud of me and all I have to say is ‘watch this space. I haven’t given up on my dreams yet.’

As to worrying about downloading pictures for your book, the internet is your oyster. There are hundreds of free download pictures available to use, just enter free download and that is what you will get. Even if you choose copyrighted pictures and ask to change them, you’ll probably find they would let you.

I was told I had to use the choice of pictures on offer from the Publishers I used for my first book, and went along with what was on offer because I didn’t like to cause problems.

What a fool I was. It’s your book, you keep them in a job so you decide what’s best for your book.

Have you thought of drawing your own pictures, Rudolph? Or employing someone who has a talent and won’t charge the earth. I did. I drew them myself. They are not bad - and at least they are what I wanted. I know people who can put your mind at rest about illustration copyright. I don’t think you need to go back to England – honest.

Finally, are you competent in putting your book on Kindle? I knew how to do it but in the end I welcomed help.

It cost me very little and was worth it.

Good luck in all you do.

ALADDIN LIGHTS UP HIS ROJALES LAMP!

ROJALES Pantomime Group’s panto this year will be the ever popular Aladdin.

It will be staged at the Escuela de Musica in Los Montesinos on Thursday, Friday and Saturday December 8, 9 and 10, with an added matinee on Sat 10th at 2.30pm.

Tickets are €8 for adults and €5 for children and the proceeds will go to ADISMON (Centro de discapacitados de Los Montesinos), Banda Infantil & Caritas, all local charities.

But first there’s the Fun Day on November 19. Come and meet some of the colourful cast outside the Christmas shop at San Luis.

We’ll see you there.

Oh yes we will!

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Friday, November 4, 2011

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Friday, November 4, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Roy was trying to format an external drive with ADVICE: Bryan was having problems with the ink in his the FAT32 file system Epson printer Hi Richard. My Problem is that on a tidying up moment I decided to reformat a Freecom USB HDD to NTFS. It’s only now that I realise why a comparatively new drive came formatted to fat32, to allow compatibility with other devices. I am struggling to find how to reformat to fat32 a partition larger than 32mb. I’ve tried “format /fs:fat32 X:” at the command prompt to no avail (tells me the drive is to large). The software/cd that came with the drive is no use. Short of finding a machine that is running a copy of windows pre XP I don’t know the solution. I particularly want to do this as I want to use the drive to store and play/view videos and images from/to the TV and PVR (the Humax won’t even recognise NTFS).

Hi Richard, I have recently replaced the ink cartridges on my Epson photo stylus SX425 printer and now it will not print. The ink warning light is on and if I click on check ink levels it shows 4 empty cartridges with crosses in them. I have tried switching the printer off and have taken the cartridge out and put them back in to no avail. Can you advise on what else I can do. Regards, Bryan.

Hi Roy, your command is slightly wrong, here is the correct syntax…

The help section of the www.spanishink.com website can be very helpful in resolving problems like this, here is a link to an article that will help you figure out the problem http://tinyurl.com/spanishink

Q

A

format <drive letter>: /FS:FAT32

…give that a go and you should be able to format the drive successfully.

Update: Hi Roy, I have been doing a bit of checking and it seems that everything after Windows 2000 has an artificial limit of 32Gb when formatting FAT32. I have found a utility that should be able to sort out this problem for you, if you go to http://tinyurl.com/formatfat you will automatically download a copy of “FAT32 Format”, a windows utility that will allow you to format your external drive.

ADVICE: Lucy was having problems with a RUN DLL error when she started her computer Hi Richard, about 2 months ago every time I switch on my laptop a message saying "RunDLL - The specified module could not be found" keeps on popping up. What is it and why it keeps on coming on.

Q A

Hi Lucy, this error relates to a program on your computer that is running at start up, attempting to access a Windows system process or set of files, it could be something as simple as a bad manufacturers update or it could be something more suspicious like a Trojan or virus. In this instance I would suggest that you have someone come and look at the problem first hand and give you advice on the best way to resolve it.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q A

Hi Bryan, it sounds like the cartridges are incompatible with your printer, do you have both compatible and original cartridges mixed in the same printer?

ADVICE: Derrick wanted to watch .MTS video files on his computer Hi Richard. You did so well in solving my last computer problem that I immediately thought of you when I discovered that I had another one. A friend has sent me some video clips in MTS format which I am unable to open, I am running windows vista. Could you please suggest a solution? Regards Derrick

Q

A

Hi Derek, .mts files are AVCHD high definition digital video format that support 1080i and 720p, in order to play them you will need an application on your computer that supports the CODEC (format) that they are built in. One of the most flexible video players that I have used is VLC Media Player and it’s freely available for download, just point your browser to http://www.videolan.org/vlc/ download and install it and enjoy watching your video’s.

Update: Thanks Richard, yet another success!

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Farewell to Gypsy Lady...

Pony clubbers Rebecca and Rachel with Gypsy Lady

AFTER a year living at the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre in Rojales, rescue horse Gypsy Lady has died.

She was rescued by Elche police after being found in appalling conditions.

An old horse, she enjoyed a year of love and care at the centre and was a great favourite with visitors.

The centre continues to need help in looking after the horses in its care. For more information call Sue on 652 021 980 or visit www.easyhorsecare.net

Ladies get crazy in new cabaret FOLLOWING last year’s sell-out success of their Song and Dance Cabaret at Serena Golf Hotel, Los Alcazares, the Crazy Ladies dance group return with another cabaret at the venue on November 18.

The girls will be performing new tap routines to well-known tunes, new and old, and the show will include songs from the ever popular Viva quartet.

The cabaret will be compered and feature music from Dial Entertainment. Later in the evening there will be dancing to live music from Rebound.

As the show is in aid of MABS Murcia/Mar Menor, the Serena Golf Hotel has given free use of the ballroom and is providing some wonderful prizes for the draw. Any show-goers wishing to stay the night can take advantage of a special deal from the hotel of 60 euros per night for ticket holders.

The show starts at 8.00pm and tickets cost €5 euros.

Contact Georgie on 968171356 for tickets.

Spic’n’Span for Xmas but not for the kids!

THE Scrooge story is retold with a difference by Stagestruck! in the theatre group’s new seasonal production, Christmas Spirit.

With the well-known tale moved to Spain and set in a cleaning company called Spic’n’Span, audiences can expect some hilarious moments and lots of well-known tunes to sing along to.

With visions of the past, present and future, the Spirit Mum shows her miserly son - the boss of the cleaning company - the error of his ways.

Meanwhile, his moppers and scrubbers are only interested in an office Christmas party and his long-suffering girlfriend just wants to get noticed.

Performances are on December 1 and 2 at Los Montesinos School of Music and Culture (in aid of Adismon

for disabled children), and on December 5 at Virgen Del Carmen, Torrevieja (in aid of Age Concern).

But be warned, some of the content of the show is not suitable for children.

Tickets are €5 and are available from the theatres or by phoning Stella on 966 786 154 or Sally on 648 783 601. Doors open 7.15pm, show starts 8pm.

Stagestruck! are currently enjoying huge success with their murder mystery plays. Murder At The Mirador, performed at the Eagles Nest, sold out in seven days. And the murder mystery opening on November 10 at the same venue is already a sell-out.

The company plan more of these popular murder plays, so look out for dates.

Prince wince SHOWS KOd BY STAR’S BACK AGONY THIS week’s Glam 70s musical tour had to be cancelled after the show’s star Charles Prince hurt his back.

It is thought that Charles (pictured in Freddie Mercury mode) will be well enough for the final date of the tour to go ahead as planned next week.

That show is on November 8 at The Lounge Bar,

Torrevieja.

There are still some tickets available. Show starts at 8.30pm and tickets cost €7.50.

Phone 966 922 134 for details.

Meanwhile, tour our promoters J u k e b o x Promotions haveconfirmed that the full Glam 70s tour will now take place in February 2012.

Crushed Ice hit the cold trail

NEW Quesada band Crushed Ice finally come in from the cold next week – with their first public performances.

The experienced fiveman combo’s opening gig is at Mr Smith’s on Thursday (November 10) – where a full house is expected. And the following evening they appear at Casa Ventura in San Luis.

Formed in September, Crushed Ice are a covers band brought together after drummer Ray Prentice advertised for musicians. As a result, he teamed up with vocalist Chas Randall

and guitarists Eric Tuite (lead), Keith Parsons (rhythm) and John Wiggan (bass) to form a band called Nameless.

But Ray explains: ‘‘We changed the name because some of the band said the name Nameless sounded nega-

tive.’’ To book Crushed Ice for your bar, restaurant, party or function, call Ray on 966 712 987 for more information.

Friday, November 4, 2011

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Friday, November 4, 2011

How to GAIN weight TRY asking people how to gain weight and you'll likely see some bewildered faces staring back at you.

For the majority of people, hearing that question is akin to hearing the questions, “How do I stub my toe?” or “How do I run out of petrol?”

Those confused faces notwithstanding, the question is a legitimate one and one that frustrates those who find themselves on the light end of the scale.

While those on the heavy end can't get through a commercial break or flip through more than five pages of a magazine without someone offering a solution to their weight problems, it can be a lonely struggle for those who want to put on weight.

If you are lucky enough to get a reasoned response to your question, it will probably involve the words “eat more.” That, despite being obvious, is great advice.

Quite simply, to gain weight you will need to up your calorie consumption to the point where you consume

more calories than you expend. Couple an increased caloric intake with a little weight training and you have the recipe for healthy weight gain. You may think you eat a lot, even enough to keep pace with your more weight-furnished friends, but you are probably over-estimating your intake.

After a trip to the doctor's office to rule out medical causes for your inability to bulk up (thyroid disease and other medical problems can hamper weight gain), a first step to designing an effective weight-gain programme is to journal your eating habits. Counting calories for a week will give you an accurate view of your diet.

From there, increase your daily caloric intake by about 300-500 calories until you start putting on the pounds.

Keep in mind though, while your caloric intake will directly influence your body-

weight, it will be other factors like the types of food you eat and your weight training regimen that decide the type of weight you are putting on.

So if you are after an aesthetically pleasing weight gain, that of lean muscle weight as opposed to just extra body fat to lug around, it will be important to pay attention to these factors.

To get the most muscle out of your weight gain, avoid the junk food and focus on eating whole foods.

A good weight gain diet should be composed of 30-

50% protein, 20-50% carbohydrates and 20-40% fat (the majority of which should be essential fatty acids).

Different ratios within these ranges will work differently for different people. Keep up your food journal and experiment to find the ratios that work best for you.

Providing your body with the materials it needs to build muscle is only one piece of the puzzle. A weight-training programme designed to give the body a reason to add some muscle will be very important to achieving your goals.

Your workout routines should concentrate on compound weight lifting exercises (those that involve multiple muscle groups like the squat or bench press) with weights that allow you to do 6 to 12 reps per set. Higher rep ranges will tone your muscles but may not sufficiently signal the body into muscle growth.

Try to either increase the amount of weight lifted or the reps completed with each workout.

Don't go overboard with your workouts. Two or three one-hour workouts per week done with intensity should do the trick. Too often those that have trouble gaining weight (hardgainers) spend too much time in the gym.

This can be counterproductive in two ways.

Muscle First, it means you are burning off a lot of the calories that could otherwise be used to build muscle and, second, you can over-train your muscles by working them too hard, basically making them unresponsive.

If you are looking for some company in your quest to gain weight, venture into the bodybuilding community.

There you will find many people also seeking ways to put on lean muscle mass.

You will also find many products marketed to help you gain weight.

Be very cautious when looking at these products.

Gaining weight may not be as in demand as losing weight but it is still big business and there are a lot of companies looking to take your money. While some of these products can help, others aren't necessary.

With a little motivation, a weight gain diet and a solid weight-training programme in place you will have all you need to achieve your gain weight goals. Better yet, you will never again have to ask that question that gets all those funny looks aimed back at you.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE GALLSTONES? GALLSTONES are small, hard deposits that can form in the gallbladder, a sac-like organ that lies under the liver on the right side of the abdomen. They form when liquid stored in the gallbladder hardens into pieces of stone-like material. The liquid, called bile, is used to help the body digest fats. Bile is made in the liver and then stored in the gallbladder until the body needs to digest fat. Bile contains water, cholesterol, fats, bile salts, and bilirubin, but if the liquid bile contains too much cholesterol, bile salts, or bilirubin, it can harden into stones.

There are two main types of gallstones: CHOLESTEROL STONES and PIGMENT STONES. Cholesterol stones are usually yellow-green and are made of hardened cholesterol. They account for about 80% of gallstones and are associated with female gender, obesity, pregnancy, oral hormonal therapy, rapid loss of weight, and Crohn's disease. Pigment stones such as black pigment gallstones occur when there is increased destruction of red blood cells, while brown pigment gallstones occur when there is reduced flow of bile.

The majority of people with gallstones have no symptoms at all. This is because the stones generally stay in the gallbladder and cause no problems.

Sometimes, however, gallstones may lead to inflammation of the gallbladder, giving rise to symptoms such as nausea, vomitting, back pain, restlessness and pain on the right- hand side of the abdomen.

The stones may pass down through the bile duct into the intestine giving rise to BILIARY COLIC - a painful condition felt in the upper part of the abdomen, but can also exist in the centre of the abdomen. Pain is more common about an hour after eating, especially after a high-fat meal. In many cases gallstones are discovered by accident during treatment for something else. A doctor may suspect gallstones after a cholesterol test, an ultrasound scan, a blood test, or even an X-ray. They are only treated if they have caused gallbladder inflammation, blockage of the bile ducts, or if they have moved from the bile ducts into the intestines.

If the gallstone is made of cholesterol it can sometimes be slowly dissolved with ursodeoxycholic acid.

This type of treatment, known as dissolution, may take up to 24 months to be effective. Ultrasonic shock waves can also be aimed at the gallstones breaking them up into bits small enough to pass safely through stools. In complicated cases, cholecystectomy (surgical removal of the gall blader) is performed with keyhole surgery.

REDUCING THE RISK OF GALLSTONES Studies have shown the ups and downs of crash diets can actually trigger gallstones. Weight loss should be slow and steady. If you’re dieting, it’s best to lose one or two pounds a week until you reach your goal. Then try your best to maintain your ideal weight.

Fibre found in whole-grain breads, cereals, and vegetables will help you lose weight and have been known to significantly lower the incidence of gall disease. If you like coffee, you are in luck: Coffee drinking has also been associated with a reduced risk of gallstone symptoms.

Monounsaturated fats, found in olive oil and canola oil, and omega-3 fatty acids, found in avocados, and fish oil, may lower the risk of developing gallstones.

However, saturated fats found in fatty meats, butter, and other animal products, are known to increase the likelihood of gallstones, among other health risks!

Dr. Machi Mannu is a neuro repatterning Specialist.

Email contact@mindspa.es for any question.

Friday, November 4, 2011

27

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Top 8 car-mad celebs

For the rich and famous, cars can be an obsession. The proof is here as we present some of the world's biggest collections of drool-worthy hardware CHRIS EVANS Self-confessed car addict and BBC Radio 2's most highly paid DJ holds another record: he has spent more money on a car than anyone else on the planet - ÂŁ12m for a 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO. He's got lots of other Ferraris too, including James Coburn's 1961 California Spider, a 599 GTO, an F40 and a 288 GTO, many of them painted in his favourite colour, white. He also famously proposed to Billy Piper by giving her a Ferrari 550. His collection of cars spans the mundane too: as well as a Ford Mustang convertible, he owns a humble VW Beetle and a Fiat 500.

SULTAN OF BRUNEI No contest: the world's most obsessive car fetishist is the sultan of Brunei. His fabulous oil wealth funded a huge car collection - more than 7,000 cars at its peak. These included no less than nine McLaren F1s and over 200 Ferraris (including 10 F40s), as well as hundreds of Rolls-Royces and Bentleys. The sultan almost certainly kept companies like Bentley afloat in the 1990s by ordering unique creations, such as the Bentley Dominator 4x4, Ferrari Venice convertible and one-off Aston Martins and Rolls-Royces. For many years the sultan's collection was kept top secret, with teams of mechanics flown in by manufacturers to keep the cars in tune. But when financial wobbles hit, details of his megacache leaked out - and the jaws of enthusiasts everywhere dropped to the floor.

pened to serial car collector Cage in real life, when his overspending life style caused US courts to consider repossessing his cars. He's spent tens of millions on automotive exotica. For example, in 2007 alone, he bought 22 cars including nine Rolls-Royces. Other tasty wheels in his collection include a Jaguar D-Type, Ferrari Enzo, Bugatti Type 57 Atalante and the Lamborghini Miura SVJ once owned by the shah of Iran. The lease he signed on his 1964 Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud back in 2007 reportedly costs him $7,663 a month alone.

NICOLAS CAGE

WYCLEF JEAN

Gone in 60 Seconds was the film in which Nicolas Cage starred as a car thief. Ironically, this is almost what hap-

Rappers have a thing for bling, especially when it comes to cars. But Wyclef Jean out-blings the lot of them with his extensive collection of flash rides. His Miami, Florida, garage

29

Friday, November 4, 2011 - a 29-litre leviathan which has starred in the Gran Turismo arcade game.

JAY KAY A funny hat and a funky voice can take you a long way, it seems. Jamiroquai's frontman has a real penchant for exotic cars. Highlights include a Ferrari F40, F50 and Enzo, several Ferrari 250s, Porsche 911 Carrera RS, Spyker C8, Aston Martin DB5, Lamborghini Miura, Jaguar XJ220, Mercedes 600, Maserati A6 G54, Fiat-Abarth 1000 and Rolls-Royce Phantom.

SCHLUMPF BROTHERS

houses over 30 custom-finished cars, including a bright red Pagani Zonda C12S, a pink 1957 Cadillac Eldorado, a 'Spider-Man'-themed motorbike, several Ferraris and a McLaren F1. Bizarrely, he also owns a Hummer H2 with an on-board fish tank, which he reportedly fills with sharks when the whim takes him. In 2007, he gave away his $100,000 1939 Lincoln Zephyr to a fan who won a Willy Wonka-style 'golden ticket' contest.

The Swiss-born textile magnates, brothers Hans and Fritz Schlumpf, built up one of the world's greatest car collections in utter secrecy. Only when their factory in Mulhouse, France, was overrun by striking employees in 1977 was their vast collection uncovered. The whole thing was subsequently nationalised and put on public display. The current Schlumpf museum houses over 520 cars of breathtaking historical significance, including no less than 123 Bugattis, 14 Rolls-Royces, 13 Ferraris, 11 Gordinis and seven Hispano-Suizas.

ROWAN ATKINSON

JAY LENO Comedian Jay Leno has a real taste for the automotive unusual. His sprawling menagerie of rare metal, housed in his so-called 'Big Dog Garage' in southern California, includes cars powered by electricity, steam and hybrid. Rare pieces such as a Monteverdi 375 and the first-ever Ford GT40 rub shoulders with half a dozen Duesenbergs. Leno likes British oddities, too: he's got an Ariel Atom, Morgan trike, Light Car Rocket, Mini and six Bentleys. He's even built his own supercar, the 650bhp diesel EcoJet. But easily his most famous car is the Blastolene special, aka the Tank Car

He may drive a clapped-out green Mini on Mr Bean, but Rowan Atkinson has a serious fetish for expensive cars. He has a thing for Aston Martins (he bought a V8 Zagato, which he famously crashed in 2001) and has owned such 'petrolhead' expresses as a Lancia Delta Integrale, MG X-Power SV, Honda NSX, Mercedes-Benz 600, Lotus Carlton and lots of Ferraris. His best-known purchase was a McLaren F1, which he crashed into the back of a Mini Metro on the A6. Bizarrely, he has also passed his HGV lorry driving test, and has raced several cars including a Renault 5 GT Turbo.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

This week is all about boots, boots and more boots! Keep your toes warm with these gorgeous finds suited for every budget

On A Budget

31.31€ asos.com £24.99 newlook.com

19.99€ blanco.com

39.99€ blanco.com

Splashing Out 45.99€ marypaz.com Mustang 59.99€ zapatosmayka.es

Guess 241.33€ asos.com

Aldo 99.14€ asos.com

55.95€ Stradivarius

£70.00 topshop.com

78.27 €

asos

Going Wild!

59.95€ Stradivarius

45.66€ asos.com

.com

Mustang 29.99€ zapatosmayka.es

Cavel 339.17€ asos.com

Question Dear Freya I am under 5ft tall and find it difficult to find clothes in my size. Is there anywhere I can find smaller clothes?

Also I would love to wear a jumpsuit but as I am so small I don’t think it would suit me very well.

Please help!

Kerry, Rojales

Answer Many clothes shops have a petite section. It is a good idea to have a look round and find out which shops near you stock petite clothes.

If you can’t find clothes to fit you, the next best thing is to find a very good seamstress! Or buy a cheap pair of trousers and have a go yourself!

Flowy patterned jumpsuits are a top trend this season. Either with a pair of wedges or flat shoes they will look great whatever your height. As long as you feel confident in what you wear, it will never look bad.

GOT A FASHION PROBLEM YOU CAN’T FIX? Maybe you have got a big event coming up and don’t know what to wear. Or you have recently lost a lot of weight and are not sure what clothes you can now wear Email all your problems to Freya at office@thecourier.es

If you’ve got a problem, Freya can fix it!

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Friday, November 4, 2011

As you may have read before, TKO FM has moved studio premises, because of this, you may be experiencing reception problems on 91.9 FM and 89.9 FM. If you are, please retune your radio to 87.7FM and listen on air for further details.

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PROGRAMMING ON TKO FM 0800 - 1100 MORNINGS ARE FUN with ANDY JAMES

1400 - 1700 DAVY JONES’ AFTERNOON LOCK-IN

The perfect way to get you through your busy morning, whether you are at work or play. A fantastic selection of sounds that will be guaranteed to get you singing out loud!

Mornings just wouldn't be the same without Andy starting your day!

Lock yourself into the sounds of Davy Jones as he cruises through every weekday afternoon. Constant Total Knockout Hits and you can chat live with the chatterbox in the TKO Chat room or on Facebook.

1100 - 1400 AM to PM with DENNIS CHRISTIAN

1700 – 2000 THE ULTIMATE DRIVE TIME SHOW with RACHEL ANGUS

Turn on the AC and relax while DC entertains you with his wit and chill's you out with classic and new tracks. DC brings you music tracks and quizzes that will over heat the brain so turn up the aircon, relax and enjoy!

Join the bubbly and vibrant Rachel Angus as she gets you home with The Ultimate Drive time show. Bringing you old classics and new choons. She´s guaranteed to cheer you up every weekday evening!

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PROGRAMMING ON TKO GOLD 0800 - 1100 THE ALL NEW BREAKFAST SHOW with CHRIS ASHLEY Our Ex BBC & Talkradio presenter Mr Ashley will be waking you up with top tunes that will jog your memory, along with a daft joke or two & of course you can join in the fun...text, phone, or email Chris.

1100 - 1400 THE GOLDEN LUNCH with ALEX TRELINSKI Alex continues those feel good tunes and musical memories as well as inviting his friends from around the world to give you the inside track on all the latest news.

On Monday's, Paul Smith from "Soaplife" magazine gives you all the latest soap gossip, Tuesday's coming live and direct from Los Angeles, top showbiz reporter Linda Harris has all the Hollywood gossip and Friday's sees Paul Darby "The Feng Shui Doctor", the UK's leading Feng Shui expert giving you tips on how this ancient system of aesthetics can change your life

1400 - 1800 AFTERNOON TEA with DARREN JAMES Darren invites you to join him for a civilised and sophisticated 4 hours every weekday afternoon. Playing you some of the widest variety of both established and contemporary Easy Listening / Middle-Of-The Road music from Frank Sinatra to Will Young, Barbra Streisand to Katie Melua, ABBA to Take That, along with his notorious competitions, Spanish Lottery Results (and how to play them) The History of UK No1's, Tomorrow's News Today and much more, coupled with an innuendo or two slipped in for good measure!

Get out the Duraglit and polish up that Tea Service

1800 - 2100 SUNDOWNERS with DAVE KNIGHTS Join Dave as he takes you through 3 hours of music guaranteed to help you recover from the stresses and strains of another hectic Costa Blanca day! With competitions, great feel-good music and a little of something to help you relax. Sundowners is the perfect cocktail every single day.

2000 - 2300 Mondays only THE LOVE ZONE with LEE FOX Three hours of classic and modern-day love songs.

The perfect Monday night in...

2000 - 2300 Tuesdays only OLD SCHOOL DISCO with ANDY JAMES Let Andy take you back to those old school classics from the 70s and 80’s.

Calling all DJ’s, Presenters and Broadcasters!

Are you new to the Costa Blanca fresh from having a career in radio in the UK? Perhaps you’re already working in radio in the area and looking for a fresh challenge?

Once you have the radio bug, it’s very difficult to lose it!

Do you fancy continuing the passion and becoming a radio presenter with TKO? The TKO Media Group will be extending its programming schedule very soon and are looking for experienced people to be considered for those slots, as well as for holiday and sickness cover work.

Please send your CV in the first instance to info@tkofm.com All applications will be treated in the strictest of confidence.

Let’s see if you can win youself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ October 28 Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm 1. She gave Russell Harty a good slapping in 1981 live on TV. 2. Roddy Frame was lead singer with this 80s group.

3. The Cascades waxed lyrical about this bout of syncopated precipitation.

4. Guitar legends Clapton, Beck & Page all came to our attention through this group.

5. The Boss from New Jersey.

6. They drove along Ventura Highway in 1972.

7. This band took their name from an early 20th century fire truck.

8. Tamla Motown moved their H.Q. from Detroit to this city.

9. Oh What A Beautiful Morning comes from which musical?

10. In 1991 Vic Reeves helped this group get to dizzy heights in the charts.

32

Friday, November 4, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 20 represents C and 7 represents X, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Subject (5) 4 Naked (4) 8 Employment (7) 9 Annoyed (5) 10 Stadium (5) 11 Stipulate (7) 12 One of two (6) 14 Position (6) 18 Outside (7) 20 Fragrance (5) 22 Conscious (5) 23 Crêpe (7) 24 Sailing vessel (4) 25 Tend (5)

Down 1 Succinct (5) 2 Confidential (7) 3 Dairy product (6) 4 Backhander (5) 5 Pragmatist (7) 6 Get away (6) 7 Challenge (4) 13 Hurricane (7) 15 Coach (7) 16 Afraid (6) 17 Warhead (6) 18 Swindle (4) 19 Attentive (5) 21 Speak (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Fit, 3 Restless, 8 Skilful, 9 March, 10 Eager, 11 Dismiss, 12 Sudden, 14 Asleep, 18 Deserve, 20 Noble, 22 Again, 23 Travels, 24 Presents, 25 Dad. Down: 1 Fastens, 2 Thing, 3 Referee, 4 Salads, 5 Lambs, 6 Survive, 7 Thus, 13 Despair, 15 Sandals, 16 Pleased, 17 Beaten, 18 Deaf, 19 Rungs, 21 Bleed.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 The old cinema’s come back, mostly unchanged (4) 3 Badly misshape the accent (8) 9 Concealed nuclear explosion (7) 10 Field entrance made of marble? (5) 11 Radio activity requiring the allocation of roles to somewhat vulgar women (12) 13 Pay back when a Peru company is reformed (6) 15 Withhold food from popstar vegetarian’s diet (6) 17 Dim Ron Andrew is confused and bigoted (6,6) 20 Make amends by altering a note (5) 21 Maigret arranged syncopated music (7) 22 Emphasises, if it distresses, I’d get out (8) 23 The dining room is a shambles (4)

Down 1 Counterfoil delivered is inflexible (8) 2 Something very small is buried in a ceramic rockery (5) 4 Weapon that can demolish, or rebuild (6) 5 This stranger is disturbed by such personal emotion susceptibilities (12) 6 Tool that enables one to bridge the gap?

(7) 7 Dropped from an outbuilding (4) 8 Capital billets for operations base (12) 12 Unnecessary in needles sharing (8) 14 Demand a rum and cola, mixed (7) 16 We are in the wrong Rev’s Dodge (6) 18 Strong urge to use a vehicle (5) 19 Said in error on a rostrum (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Obstinate (8) 2 Extremely small in scale (5) 4 Howitzer (6) 5 Deepest feelings of compassion (12) 6 Hand tool (7) 7 Drop (4) 8 Main office (12) 12 Unnecessary (8) 14 Uproar (7) 16 Change direction (6) 18 Steer (5) 19 Platform (4)

Across 1 Identical (4) 3 Importance (8) 9 Indistinct (7) 10 Form of quartz (5) 11 Transmitting (12) 13 Recover (6) 15 Hunger (6) 17 Blinkered (6,6) 20 Make amends (5) 21 Type of jazz (7) 22 Constraining influences (8) 23 Chaos (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Shield, 4 Caress, 9 Rossini, 10 Avast, 11 Theme, 12 Sceptre, 13 Pass the buck, 18 Rhubarb, 20 Range, 22 Sides, 23 Anagram, 24 Screen, 25 Defect.

Down: 1 Sprats, 2 Issue, 3 Loiters, 5 Abase, 6 Elastic, 7 Sitter, 8 Miss the boat, 14 Asunder, 15 Barrage, 16 Trysts, 17 Pelmet, 19 Aisle, 21 Nerve.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

Later Rare Yaw 3 letter words Manes Rhea 4 letter words Age Moral Seep Acer Asp Refer Sere Afar Cad Sales Silt Ahem Can Sewer Sled Area Ere South Soot Aria Ewe Stair Thee Ashy Eye Toast Tree Bass Far 6 letter words Tsar Bawl Hay Career User Cute Keg Header Well Dolt Pet Satire 5 letter words Each Rye Saucer Actor Free Sad 8 letter words Cadet Hype Ski Parasite Circa Meal Spa Rhetoric Coast Oops Tec Error Para War

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Pan (cooking) (4) 3 Tablecloths (8) 9 Limpiadora (persona) (7) 10 Slow (vehicle, music, progress, pulse) (5) 11 Season ticket (theatre, rail, sport) (5) 12 Ducha (6) 14 Trapo del polvo (6) 16 Sword (6) 19 Tomorrow (6) 21 Income (from property) (5) 24 Hola (5) 25 Regalo (obsequio) (7) 26 Tortuga (de tierra) (8) 27 Spade (tool) (4)

Down 1 Huertos (de árboles frutales) (8) 2 Full (room, hall, theatre) (5) 4 A través de (6) 5 Stem (of a plant) (5) 6 Lentil (7) 7 Pronto (dentro de poco) (4) 8 Ingresos (de persona) (6) 13 Guarantee (8) 15 Más pequeño (7) 17 Frying pan (6) 18 Playing cards (6) 20 Nickname (5) 22 Daughter-in-law (5) 23 Qué (4)

33

Friday, November 4, 2011 Across 1 What name is given to the combustible mine gas that consists chiefly of methane? (8) 7 In which 1990 film is Sam Wheat (Patrick Swayze) killed during a botched mugging, but his love for his girlfriend Molly (Demi Moore) enables him to remain on Earth as a spirit? (5) 8 What name is given to the part of the earth's surface directly above the focus of an earthquake?

(9) 9 By what other name is the insecticide dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane better known? (3) 10 Which is the largest continent, with 60 per cent of the Earth's population?

(4) 11/19 Which car, the first all-British car to pass the one million mark in sales, was designed by Alec Issigonis? (6,5) 13 What name is applied to a graduated income tax in addition to the normal income tax imposed on the amount by which one's net income exceeds a specified sum? (6) 14 What was the surname of the author of Paradise Lost?

(6) 17 Which district of London did Peter Sellers once describe as the 'Gateway to the South'? (6) 18 What name is given to a wheeled passenger vehicle that runs on rails and is propelled by electricity? (4) 20 Which river of northern Wales and England has the same name as a Scottish river famed for its salmon? (3) 22 Which word means of or relating to biological processes occurring at 24-hour intervals? (9)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

23/5 What description is normally applied to major household appliances such as cookers, washing machines, refrigerators and freezers that are typically finished in white enamel? (5,5) 24 Which animal is also known as a caribou? (8)

Down 1 What was the name of the Norse goddess of love and beauty? (5) 2 What was the name of the Prince of Monaco who married actress Grace Kelly in 1956? (7) 3 What name is given to the nest of a squirrel? (4) 4 By what name is normally given to the flesh of a mature sheep used for food? (6) 5 See 23 Across 6 Which hat with a high crown and a very wide brim is traditionally worn by cowboys and ranchers in the US? (7) 7 Which country of Transcaucasia located at the eastern end of the Black Sea has the same name as an American state? (7) 12 Edgar who wrote The Four Just Men and Sanders of the River? (7) 13 Which instrumental group's hits include Apache, Dance On and Foot Tapper? (7) 15 What name is given to a rotary engine actuated by the reaction or impulse or both of a current of fluid (as water, steam, or air) subject to pressure and usually made with a series of curved vanes on a central rotating spindle? (7) 16 What was the surname of the dramatist and novelist who is best known as the creator of Peter Pan, the 'boy who refused to grow up'? (6) 17 Which west African country was known as Dahomey until 1975? (5) 19 See 11 Across 21 Which group topped the British singles charts in 1971 with Knock Three Times? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Equipamiento de jardin - garden equipment Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

1. Which City Is The Capital Of Iceland?

2. What is the capital city of Ethiopia?

3. What Is The Longest River In The Western Hemisphere?

4. In which continent would you find the Yangtze river?

5. What Is The Capital Of Chile?

6. What's the oldest capital city in the Americas?

7. What Separates Spain From Morocco?

8. On Whose Real Life Exploits Is James Clavells Novel Shogun Based?

9. How Long Did It Take To Complete The First Circumnavigation Of The Earth By Air? 10. Of Which Country Is Rangoon The Capital?

11. Of Which Country Is Nicosia The Capital?

12. "Who Established A Colony At Roanoke Island & Christened It (Virginia) In Honor Of Elizabeth I, The Virgin Queen "?

13. In which country is Angel Falls?

14. Where does the White and Blue Nile join?

1. Reykjavik 2. Addis Ababa 3. The Amazon 4. Asia 5.

Santiago 6. Mexico city 7. The Straits Of Gibralter 8. Will Adams An Elizabethan Adventurer 9. 175 Days 10. Burma 11. Cyprus 12. Sir Walter Raleigh 13. Venezuela 14.

Khartoum, in Sudan

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Bona fide, 7 Grebe, 8 Glissando, 9 Owl, 10 Thor, 11 Beadle, 13 Spinet, 14 Caucus, 17 Ritual, 18 Bomb, 20 Tao, 22 Grapeshot, 23 Falco.

Down: 1 Bigot, 2 Nairobi, 3 Fuse, 4/5 Daniel Defoe, 6 Bellows, 7 Goodman, 12 Vertigo, 13 Santa Fe, 15 Cloches, 16 Napalm, 17/24 Roald Amundsen, 19 Baton, 21 Aeon.

18.

19.

21.

22.

tijeras-de-podar, hoz, 20. cortasetos, manguera, regadera.

a. pick, b. shed, c. hedge-trimmer, d. hoe, e. hose-pipe, f. wheel barrow, g. climbing plant, h. pond, i. watering

RA A COB E RT I Z OE T P ORA RCB K P A Y T GI T S DE RS E F A Z I E L J COM RUDDHDA L S CE A T K A I GRP A DA J DROE A HC GNQA ORF DA OS OL OE OA QNS QE S E A S RL Z T N MR Y H T D D T R OA L X A A L L I T E R R A C N B I MK J QE OP K OI A DL E UA H S U WO K C H M L C O WQ H F P K DONOB A QL RP RCV UA E UQNA T S E OOOA L RE K K V RHT S K F F HHB R E GA D E R A J MX P A L A Soduko

Span - Eng

can, j. compost, k. sickle, l. rake, m. hedge, n. secateurs, o. sheers, p. axe, q. spade, r. stake, s. flagstone, t. garden fork, u. hand fork, v. flower pot.

Answers: 1f, 2j, 3r, 4v, 5s, 6m, 7g, 8b, 9h, 10t, 11u, 12q , 13d, 14l, 15a, 16p, 17o, 18n, 19k, 20c, 21e , 22i.

geography QUIZ

1. carretilla, 2. abono, 3. rodrigon, 4. maceta, 5. baldosa, 6. seto, 7. enredadera, 8. cobertizo, 9. estanque, 10. horca, 11. horquillla, 12. pala, 13. azadon, 14. rastrillo, 15. pico, 16. hacha, 17. podadera,

ABONO

MACETA

AZADÓN

MANGUERA

BALDOSA

PALA

CARRETILLA

PICO

COBERTIZO

PODADERA

CORTASETOS

RASTRILLO

ENREDADERA

REGADERA

ESTANQUE

RODRIGÓN

HACHA

SETO

HORCA

TIJERAS-DE-

HORQUILLA

PODAR

HOZ Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, November 4, 2011

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 Go with the flow and let people take advantage of you. All the best plans go awry, so please make sure you're ready for any surprises. Regret can hurt you over a long period. Lament today, but tomorrow must be a day for anger and retribution.

How can I control my anger?

Dear Rose.

I would like more information on how I can stop getting angry all the time. I can "feel" angry for months on end knowing that I shouldn't be. I'm looking for something that lets me know how to stop these angry feelings I have.

SHANE, Almoradi Hello Shane. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems - problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.

And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.

You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change THEM. But you can learn to control YOUR reactions.

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Memory and anxiety

I'm completely stuck. I've had problems with short term memory, focusing, and getting things done for quite a few years now.

Also, I've become more and more anxious about even just leaving the house some days, in fear of what I'll have to face during the day.

It's really starting to take a toll and I'm tired of it and know this isn't who I really am. Can you help?

SHARON Quesada lDear Sharon.

It sounds like you may possibly have developed an anxiety disorder. Your symptoms of feeling anxious, especially about leaving your home, and trouble focusing and motivation fit with anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorder is one of the easier disorders to treat. It involves working

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Peaches and cream - if only more things were like these two beautiful, oft-paired, delights.

Your future may be tainted by a mistake in your past. Now is the time for a new resolution. Remember, his/her sweetness is your weakness. "His/her?", yes, we don't know your sex. Are you a woman? I really can't tell.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Correlating facts is an awesome responsibility. Are you sure you're up to it?

Pickles are a source of joy for you this week. Scraping the bottom of the barrel is always a sad affair, especially if it's the biscuit barrel.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 with a therapist through sessions and self help in order to change your thinking process. When people feel anxious, it is due to thoughts that trigger adrenaline in their systems. The adrenaline is what causes the fear and sometimes phobias.

Depression can be another symptom of anxiety. Because anxiety causes constant stress on your emotional well being and your body, you feel overwhelmed and upset most of the time.

Depression sets in because you feel hopeless without a way to resolve your problem.

There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings and the difficulties you are having. Anxiety is quite common. Most people experience anxiety at sometime in their lives, so everyone can identify with it. And support is vital for you to overcome how you feel.

You can start first by finding a therapist you want to work with. A therapist can meet with you to do an evaluation and determine if you have anxiety and what type.

They can also recommend treatment that will work for you.

Therapists can offer support and answers.

This may help you feel better right away.

Treatment will help you with the rest.

My stubborn Mum of 92 Dear Rose, I am supposed to call my mother every Saturday at the precise time of 8:30am so she can be ready waiting over the phone for my call.

She is 92 and cannot do more than one thing at a

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es time. Last week something came up and I missed calling her. I called her two days later on Monday to check and see if she was ok. She immediately said she couldn't talk to me because she was not ready for my call. I said OK I'll call you next Saturday, and we hung up.

I am working a 12-step me and have found peace and a new comfort in my life and have been so happy all week and was actually looking forward to calling my mother.

When I called on the following Saturday she was so verbally abusive, mocking every cheery word I said.

She wound up hanging up on me and I was left shaking and confused.

I want to be a good daughter but if I don't call her I will feel guilty and if I do call her I will be hurt.

Please, I need some advice.

PAT, Torrevieja Hello, Pat. If your mum is 92 then she is going to have moods that dictate some of her behaviour. She may see your call as the height of her week and that would explain her anger at not getting your call.

She may feel that way and not admit it to you.

This might also explain her need to be in control.

If she is a controlling person overall, then she may be feeling this way as she gets older.

You can approach her about it but don't dwell on this - that may make her more angry.

Just say to her that you enjoy her calls and noticed that she was upset lately. Leave it at

l

that. It just puts her on notice that things aren't so pleasant for you.

You can also say something like - mum, I want to talk to you longer. Do you think I could let you know when I'm ready to go. Little statements like that plant a seed but don't cause an argument.

In the end, if she has always been controlling and she is 92 then these may be factors that you have to deal with while you have her.

I was a child passed over My mother died in June and I was not the favourite.

I was a middle child who just "got passed over". I'm grieving her loss still, and was the one who took 95% of her care in the end.

My therapist is advising me to "emancipate" myself since I seem to be trying to be "the good little girl" still and wanting acceptance.

How do I emancipate myself? I'm 59 now. Any suggestions?

RITA, Santa Pola lDear Rita. If you can become the good mother the hurt child inside you is looking for, she will let go of your mother and hold on to you.

As you noticed you can't just 'forget about it and move on', the reason is that the hurt child inside won't let go until her needs are met.

Your task is to become the mother to your hurt inner child, learn to listen to her and embrace her and then she will let the adult you move on with the rest of your life.

Paris Hilton will "pop round" today for a chat and a biscuit, either in spirit or in person.

Incidentally, a small chihuahua will weedle itself into your garden and poop all over your favourite plants. Set up webcams all over your house so that you can publish all incidents to a website and earn billions of dollars

Leo July 23 - August 22 The hospital may become a familiar place over the coming two weeks, although for what reason the mystics are surprisingly opaque. It may be time to accept that you're a failure and a loser.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 As the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head. Not that you'll be kicked in the head, it's a metaphor. I mean, hell, for all I know you *are* going to get kicked in the head, so maybe just wear a helmet for the rest of the day.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Your brother is heavy, no matter what you hear on the radio today. The future holds great peril for a masked magician in your area. Please phone your nearest masked magician and let him know.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Your package will arrive today, delivered by an expected person. Take everything you've got and run like the wind. Bad things are afoot. I mean, can't you smell it? Don't take everything you have for granted - insure everything for 125% of the original cost

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Unrelated incidents may cherry bobsleigh rambunctious you today. Buying a T-Shirt proclaiming your bald patch is a solar panel for a sex machine is a good idea.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 The morning will be full of fun and sunshine. There might not be a tomorrow, but all indications point to yes A flurry of exclamation marks will come back to haunt you later this month as an email comes true.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Luckily, today is the best day you're going to have over the coming months - so let loose.

Incidentally, it may be in your "letting loose" that you cause the accident that sees you spend the coming months in traction. The government will not allow you to do what you want.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 All your long-term plans will come into fruition this month. Beware of speeding busses. The number 10 may be given added significance today and will randomly pop up in everyday conversations. Food is a cheap source of food. Eat well.

Friday, November 4, 2011

35

TRELI ON THE TELLY Piers has no peers as the new Parkinson…

HE might be a cocky blighter, but Piers Morgan is the one British guy keeping alive the Michael Parkinson art of the interesting TV chat-show interview.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the knockabout stuff Graham Norton and Jonathan Ross produce, but that’s all about plugging products and having a laugh.

In Morgan’s Life Stories series for ITV1, it’s about a wellresearched interview that gets under the skin of a guest, which sadly Parky failed to do in his later years, when fawning became his stock-in trade.

Morgan, who has defied his American critics with the success of his nightly interview show on CNN, has fortunately kept his ties with ITV, and produced an excellent hour with James Corden to start the new series last Saturday.

Until recently, I’d always regarded Corden as an overrated, talentless, drunken slob, but he’s totally revised that view with some knockabout performances in Dr.Who. Not to mention his effortless hosting of the hilarious Sky 1 sports quiz, A League of their Own, which makes the BBC’s Question of Sport look like something created by Lord John Reith.

With Morgan’s probing questions, Corden came over as a decent human being who has grown up to become a family man with a new, mature view on life. He was close on a cou-

with ALEX TRELINSKI

Piers Morgan... cocky but a chat show hit

ple of occasions to reaching a ‘Cheryl Cole’ moment as the eyes started to water, but it all ended in smiles and a very good hour of television. I might now actually watch the award-winning Gavin and Stacey on DVD, which I avoided purely because of Corden’s presence!

There is a God! Keith Chegwin has broken three ribs and fractured a shoulder in an ice-rink fall whilst practicing for the next Channel 4 hit: series of ITV’s Dancing on Homeland is playing Ice. to rave reviews Sadly for Chegwin and his bank balance, but happily for us, he’s had to pull out of the programme! No news yet as to whether his buttocks, where his brain is said to be, were severely injured or not.

There’s a serious health warning over this month’s return of I’m a Celebrity…… on ITV1. The show must have major budget problems as Sinitta, fresh from her annual ‘X Factor’ appearance, has been signed up, along with a sick bucket for every viewer.

I can only guess she has some serious dirt on her ex-beau, Simon Cowell, to force him to find her work on any programme that will have her.

Mind you, I’d pick up the phone right now to get her to do every Bushtucker Trial, including the chance to swim with killer sharks. Hopefully never to return…unless they spit her out.

If you’ve ever wondered what a talking plank of wood looks like, then watch X Factor US on ITV2. An otherwise enjoyable programme is spoilt by presenter Steve Jones looking very uncomfortable, his eyes permanently fixated on the autocue machine, and unable to think on his feet. His performance is akin to Wayne Rooney trying to host a season of Mozart operas at Covent Garden.

No wonder Jones’s namesake, Alex, split from him as she demonstrates to him how to present properly on BBC1’s ‘The One Show’, as well as strutting her stuff on Strictly Come Dancing.

Steve is now rumoured to be trying to get into the knickers of Judge Nicole Scherzinger, who is still pining for her ex, Lewis Hamilton. Perhaps Mr.Jones has certain hidden attrib-

SCREWED 18 Directed by Reg Traviss, Screwed is based on the book by warden-turnedauthor Ronnie Thompson and stars James D'Arcy as soldier Sam Norwood, who returns from a tour in Afghanistan, still haunted by visions of his best friend dying in his arms.

Pressured by his wife (Kate Magowan), Sam reluctantly takes a job as a prison warden at HMP Romwell, where he's quickly shown the ropes by friendly head screw Deano (Frank Harper).

However, Sam quickly learns that his new job

CAST: James D'Arcy, Noel Clarke, Frank Harper, Kate Magowan DIRECTOR: Reg Traviss GENRE: Drama RATING: 3/5 RUNNING TIME 110 minutes brings its own set of problems: the governor (David Hayman) is corrupt, some of the screws are spoilingfor-a-fight psychopaths and even the seemingly straight wardens seem happy to turn a blind eye to the drug dealing activities of soft-spoken D Block kingpin Truman (Noel Clarke). On top of that, the stress of the job and peer pressure from Deano (they bond after Sam saves

Deano from a potential stabbing) leads Sam to join him in his nocturnal cokesnorting, strip-club visiting after-work activities and it isn't long before Sam's marriage is in trouble ...

D'Arcy delivers a solid lead performance as Sam, striking a compelling balance as a man who has to trade

on his hard-nut ex-squaddie image to survive but is still psychologically shattered. Frank Harper is excellent as Deano and there's strong support from the likes of Jamie Foreman (cast against type as a senior warden), David Hayman (nicely chilling as the guv'nor) and Andrew Shim (as a fellow screw), while Noel Clarke is effective as Truman, particularly in the scenes where he quietly taunts Sam. Traviss keeps things moving at a decent pace, aided by some presumably ruth-

This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel 650 751 072 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

utes we are not aware of?

It’s been a mixed season so far for new TV dramas in America, which means we are going to be saddled with some dross that European companies have already committed to screen here in Spain and in the UK. Many shows like an awful re-make of Charlie’s Angels (purchased by Channel 4/E4) have been pulled with just a few episodes transmitted Stateside. Meanwhile, BBC 2 has wasted its tiny buying budget on a ‘60s nostalgia series, ‘Pan Am’, which is hemorrhaging more American viewers than water seeping out of the Titanic. This actually started last Saturday on Spain’s Canal Plus network, billed hilariously and incorrectly as “the most anticipated series of the year”.

On a more positive note, Channel 4 have got their hands on a drama called Homeland, starring Claire Danes and Damien Lewis which is playing to rave reviews, so let’s hope they don’t dump it in the middle of the night!

Also look out for Person of Interest, which starts on La Sexta very shortly. It’s all about two guys who try to stop crimes before they happen, and is easily beating big shows like CSI in the ratings.

It’s very good, and despite it coming from the creators of ’Lost’, unbelievably, no UK channel has bought it yet.

So that’s a good excuse to check out La Sexta, who have a very good line-up of American shows, often screened ahead of Sky and other British channels.

Make sure you record it, though, so you can fast- forward through the myriad of poorly made adverts! less editing, since it occasionally seems that the story has jumped forward and a few scenes are missing. The violent scenes are wellhandled too, visceral and shocking but still realistic rather than over the top and stylized.

It's never going to trouble anyone's top ten list of prison movies, but Screwed is an entertaining British prison drama with some assured direction strong performances and from Reg Traviss.

36

The Courier Friday TV

4th November

00:45 This Week 01:30 Holiday Weatherview 01:35 Cops Behaving Badly Panorama 02:05 Countryfile 03:05 Antiques Roadshow 04:05 Reel History of Britain 04:35 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Case 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Stuck on Sheep Mountain 17:30 Planet Dinosaur Files 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 00:50 01:25 02:05 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30

Burnistoun Women!

Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report

04:35 Close 05:00 Real Chinese 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped Ever After 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Autumnwatch Live 22:30 Autumnwatch Unsprung 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 71 Degrees North 01:30 The Zone 03:35 A Failing System: Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Susan Boyle: An Unlikely Superstar 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Bowfinger

MASTERMIND New series. Host John Humphrys welcomes contestants to the black chair in the specialist and general knowledge quiz, as the hunt begins to find the next Mastermind. The topics in the first edition are the Life of Robert Bruce Lockhart, Human Parasites, the Siege of Malta and the Life and Work of AC Swinburne.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 The Secret Millionaire 01:15 The Film Show 01:50 Professor Green Unseen: 02:15 Inside SBTV: From Bedroom 02:40 4Play: Mona 02:55 Embarrassing Bodies 03:50 Accidentally on Purpose 04:15 Southland 05:05 Unreported World 05:30 Willie's Chocolate Revolution 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Carry On Doctor 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal: Bankenstein's Monsters 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Derren Brown: The Guilt Trip 23:00 Pete Versus Life 23:35 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:10 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:10 SuperCasino 05:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 05:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:35 HouseBusters 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 The Family Recipe 16:15 Murder 101 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Big Brother: Live Eviction 23:30 Tamara Ecclestone: Billion $$ Girl

37

The Courier Saturday TV

5th November

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 Rumble in the Bronx 01:55 Weatherview 02:00 Question Time 03:00 Town with Nicholas Crane 04:00 Reel History of Britain 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 14:45 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds 15:30 A Question of Sport 16:00 Live Rugby League 18:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:55 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 19:25 Strictly Come Dancing 20:55 Merlin 21:40 Casualty 22:30 The National Lottery Awards 2011 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 23:30 National Lottery Update

00:00 00:45 00:50 01:55 02:55 03:00 03:30

The Review Show Weather Later with Jools Holland Laughs in the Park Click BBC News HARDtalk

04:00 04:30 07:00 07:10 07:20 07:35 07:40 08:00 08:30 08:50 09:05 09:35 10:00 11:00 11:30 12:00 12:15 12:40 13:00 14:45 16:30 17:30 18:30 19:00 20:00 21:00 21:30 WWII 22:30 23:15 Short 23:45

BBC News Close Little Robots 01:20 The Zone The Large Family 03:25 New York Minute Garth and Bev Dipdap 04:55 ITV Nightscreen Gigglebiz 06:30 ITV Morning News Roar 07:00 Mini CITV Arthur 08:15 CITV Dennis and Gnasher 10:25 Coronation Street Pixelface 12:45 This Morning: Saturday Splatalot Live 'n' Deadly 13:45 ITV News and Weather Who Let the Dogs Out? 13:49 Meridian Weather I Want My Own Room 13:50 Animals Do the Funniest Deadly Art Things Sorry, I've Got No Head" 14:50 Free Willy MOTD Kickabout 16:50 Mr Bean's Holiday Shall We Dance Kiss Me Kate 18:30 Meridian News and Great British Food Revival Weather Final Score 18:45 ITV News and Weather Escape to the Country 19:00 The Chase The Culture Show 20:00 New You've Been Framed!

Flog It! 20:30 Harry Hill's TV Burp Dad's Army The Most Courageous Raid of 21:00 The X Factor 22:40 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: QI XL Rolf Harris The Making of Life's Too 23:40 ITV News and Weather 23:54 Meridian Weather V for Vendetta

MEN IN BLACK This smash-hit science-fiction comedy, based on a short-lived 1980s comic strip, has secret agent Tommy Lee Jones and new recruit Will Smith as part of a top-secret agency responsible for regulating all alien activity on Earth.

While investigating an alien sighting, the pair become involved in the search for a missing galaxy to appease an interstellar force and avert the Earth's destruction.

00:10 Stand Up for the Week 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Choke 02:45 On Track 03:10 My Name Is Earl 03:35 Without a Trace 04:20 St Elsewhere 05:10 Reasons to Be Cheerful 05:20 Willie's Chocolate Revolution 06:15 Countdown 07:00 Sali Mali 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 The Film Show 08:00 Formula Ford Festival 2011 08:50 Channel 4 Presents 08:55 The Morning Line 09:50 Smallville 10:45 Made in Chelsea 11:45 4Music Video Honours: 12:20 The Big Bang Theory 12:50 Inside SBTV: 13:20 Tower Heist: 13:55 The Simpsons 14:25 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me 19:30 World War II: The Last Heroes 20:30 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Jamie's Great Britain 22:00 Max Payne

00:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Fifth Gear 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:30 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Igam Ogam 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 The Save-Ums! 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Hana's Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 The Gadget Show 12:00 Big Brother: The Eviction 13:30 Hard Times 15:20 Bullet to Beijing 17:20 Hellfighters 19:45 Men in Black 21:35 5 News Weekend 21:40 NCIS 22:40 Big Brother 23:40 Murder by Numbers

38

The Courier Sunday TV

6th November

00:50 The Football League Show 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:40 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 The Politics Show 14:00 EastEnders 15:55 Bargain Hunt 16:25 Escape to the Country 17:10 Frozen Planet 18:10 Points of View 18:25 Songs of Praise 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:25 Countryfile 20:25 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley!

23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

01:50 Later with Jools Holland 02:55 The Culture Show 03:55 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Roar 08:25 Arthur 08:50 Dennis and Gnasher 09:00 League of Super Evil 09:10 Jinx 09:35 Wingin' It 10:00 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 Great British Food Revival 13:30 Live MotoGP 15:00 The Treasure of Pancho Villa 16:35 The Cockleshell Heroes 18:10 Timewatch 19:00 Tintin's Adventure with Frank Gardner 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Coast 22:00 Will It Snow?

23:00 Match of the Day 2

02:10 The Zone 04:15 Kojak 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:15 CITV 10:25 Horrid Henry 10:40 Horrid Henry 10:50 Finger Tips 11:05 Planet Sketch 11:20 The Adventures of Pinocchio 13:00 ITV News and Weather 13:04 Meridian Weather 13:05 Innerspace 15:15 The X Factor 16:55 Downton Abbey 18:05 Susan Boyle: An Unlikely Superstar 19:05 Meridian News and Weather 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 Harry Hill's TV Burp 20:00 The Cube 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 Downton Abbey 23:30 That Sunday Night Show

WILL IT SNOW? As winter approaches, our obsession with the weather grows. Is another "snowmageddon" coming like last year and the winter before? Can forecasters give us warning this time around? How does old weather lore compare with super-computer information? And what are we doing across Britain to prepare ourselves in case?

00:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 00:50 Rude Tube 01:50 Music on 4 Favourites: Snow Patrol 02:20 I Killed My Mother 04:05 Hum Dono 06:50 The Treacle People 07:00 The Hoobs 07:50 Channel 4 Presents - Lee Pearson 'The Dancer' 07:55 Great Scottish Swim 08:50 One Tree Hill 09:35 Hollyoaks 12:05 Professor Green Unseen 12:25 Live and Lost: Rizzle Kicks 12:55 The Big Bang Theory 13:25 The Simpsons 13:55 Shipwrecked: The Island 14:55 The Simpsons 15:30 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 16:30 Grand Designs 17:30 Deal or No Deal 18:35 17 Again 20:30 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 River Cottage Veg 22:00 The Secret Millionaire 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 The Great South Run 05:40 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Igam Ogam 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 The Save-Ums! 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Hana's Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 12:10 Big Brother 13:10 The Hotel Inspector 14:10 Ice Road Truckers: 15:10 Cats and Dogs 16:50 Open Season 18:30 The Man in the Iron Mask 21:00 Paul Merton's Adventures 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

39

The Courier Monday TV

7th November

00:10 Ask Rhod Gilbert 00:45 The Sky at Night 01:05 Weatherview 01:10 Film 2011 01:50 The Queen's Palaces 02:50 Holby City 03:50 A Farmer's Life for Me 04:50 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Remembrance Week 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:10 Land Girls 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Deadly Top 10 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 What's Fuelling Your Energy Bill? - Panorama 22:00 Young Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:10 00:40 01:10 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

Fast and Loose Never Mind the Buzzcocks Bring Me the Head of Mavis Reporters Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

04:50 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent IIventions 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped Ever After 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 MasterChef: 22:00 The Choir: Military Wives 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 ITV News and Weather 00:19 Meridian Weather 00:20 Mugged 01:20 Premiership Rugby Union 02:15 The Zone 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Ade in Britain 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little England 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Jury 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Meridian Tonight 23:35 Real Crime with Mark Austin: The Game Show Killer

THE JURY When new evidence suggests that the conviction of Alan Lane for the murders of three women he met on the internet is unsafe, defence lawyer Emma Watts is determined to clear his name in a retrial. But after 12 jurors are sworn in, one of them is stalked by a mysterious woman.

00:05 Daredevil 02:00 American Football Live 05:45 Post Modern Pastimes 05:55 Freesports on 4 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:15 Above Us the Waves 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking 22:00 Hippo: Nature's Wild Feast 23:30 Britain's Sex Gangs

01:00 UFC 85: Main Event 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 05:10 Europa League Football 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 A Risk Worth Taking 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Lost Heroes of World War One 21:00 5 News at 9 22:00 New Hotel Inspector 23:00 Big Brother

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

8th November

00:05 John Bishop's Britain 00:50 The Graham Norton Show 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 The Great British Bake Off Revisited 02:40 The Impressionists 03:40 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 04:10 James May's Things You Need to Know 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Remembrance Week 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:10 Land Girls 16:00 BBC News; 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine: Simon & Garfunkel:

00:20 01:20 02:05 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

Will It Snow?

Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close

05:00 BBC Primary History 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped Ever After 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 MasterChef: 21:00 James May's Man Lab 22:00 Dam Busters: The Race to Smash the German Dams 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 That Sunday Night Show 01:05 Wildlife Patrol 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Champions League Weekly 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Ade in Britain 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Unforgettable Norman Wisdom 21:00 High Stakes 22:00 The Jury 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Babies Behind Bars

MY TRANSSEXUAL SUMMER New series. Seven transgender men and women convene at a summer retreat, where they share a mutual understanding of what it is like to be a transsexual in Britain today.

In various stages of gender reassignment, members of the group share experiences and provide an insight into the problems and prejudices they face in everyday life, and build the support network they need to reach their long-term goals.

00:35 00:40 01:40 02:35 05:40 05:50 06:35 07:05 07:10 08:00 08:30 09:30 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 14:10 16:10 17:00 18:00 18:30 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00

Rory Peck Awards Derren Brown: The Guilt Trip Late Night Poker Jewel Thief Home Road Movies Countdown That Paralympic Show Sali Mali The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss USA Location, Location, Location" The Renovation Game Drop Down Menu Guns at Batasi Countdown Deal or No Deal Four in a Bed Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Food Hospital Jamie's Great Britain My Transsexual Summer

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Police Interceptors 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 05:10 Grey's Anatomy 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Thicker than Water 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Lost Heroes of World War One 21:00 London: The Inside Story 21:00 5 News at 9 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 Big Brother

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

9th November

00:50 The Name of the Rose 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 Andrew Marr's Megacities 04:00 History Cold Case 05:00 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Remembrance Week 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:10 Land Girls 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Roy 17:30 Serious Explorers: Raleigh 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 22:00 Frozen Planet 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Ask Rhod Gilbert

00:20 01:20 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

The Choir: Military Wives Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC Learning Zone

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped Ever After 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Louie 11:25 Baby Jake 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Hairy Bikers Short 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 Great British Food Revival 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Peter Jones: How We Made Our Millions 23:00 Rab C Nesbitt 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey 01:30 The Zone 04:05 Kojak 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Ade in Britain 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 New You've Been Framed!

21:00 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Remembrance Special 22:00 The Jury 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Cops with Cameras

PAUL MERTON'S ADVENTURES The comedian stays close to home this week, hitching up a caravan for a good oldfashioned British touring holiday. Heading south from Hull in East Yorkshire, the capital of the caravan-construction industry, he visits Lincolnshire, the Cotswolds, Westonsuper-Mare, the Malvern Hills and Cornwall, taking in such delights as a traditional Punch and Judy show and the Big Chill Festival.

00:05 Rory Peck Awards 00:10 True Blood 01:25 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:25 Sailing 02:50 Beach Volleyball 03:45 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:10 Formula Ford Festival 2011 04:35 Formula Ford Championship 05:00 Great Scottish Swim 05:55 Post Modern Pastimes 06:10 Paralympic Wheelchair Rugby GB Cup 2011 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 Location, Location, Location" 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:20 Channel 4 Presents - Oscar Pistorius 'Head Strong' 14:25 Carry On Behind 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Fresh Meat 23:55 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Edison 01:50 Inside Hollywood 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 05:10 The Hotel Inspector 05:55 Rough Guide to Beaches 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Separated by Murder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Lost Heroes of World War One 21:00 Dangerous Drivers' School 22:00 Paul Merton's Adventures 23:00 Big Brother

42

The Courier Thursday TV

10th November

00:20 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 01:00 The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 See Hear 03:30 Planet Dinosaur 04:00 Country Tracks 04:55 James May's Things You Need to Know 05:25 Newsday 05:30 Cops Behaving Badly Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Remembrance Week 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:10 Land Girls 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 The Sarah Jane Adventures 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Motorway Cops 22:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Children in Need - Liverpool 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 John Sergeant Meets Rab C Nesbitt 01:05 Rab C Nesbitt 01:35 James May's Man Lab 02:35 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report

04:45 Sport Today 05:00 History: Nazi Germany 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped Ever After 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 Great British Food Revival 21:00 MasterChef: 22:00 Rev 22:30 Life's Too Short 23:00 Frank Skinner's Opinionated 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Ladette to Lady: Australia 01:30 The Zone 03:35 The Baby and the Battleship 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Ade in Britain 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Life After the Riots: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Jury 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: Rolf Harris

REV New series. Adam is acclaimed as a hero for thwarting a mugging, but when he begins to revel in the recognition he receives an unexpected visit from the high levels of the clergy.

Comedy, guest starring Ralph Fiennes.

00:55 Rory Peck Awards 01:00 Florence and the Machine 01:35 On Track 02:05 The Album Chart Show Introduces - Cher Lloyd 02:15 4Play: Bon Iver 02:30 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 02:45 Waterloo Road 04:00 Building Britain's Ultimate Warship 05:30 Scrapheap Challenge 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 Location, Location, Location" 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:30 Channel 4 Presents - Liz Johnson 'Magic Numbers' 14:35 The Black Swan 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Beeny's Restoration Nightmare 22:00 Brunel's Last Launch: A Time Team Special 23:00 The Joy of Teen Sex

00:00 Banged Up Abroad 01:00 Poker: The Big Game 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 05:10 The Gadget Show 05:55 Rough Guide to Cities 06:10 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Meerkat Manor 15:50 Animal Rescue Squad 16:05 The Blue Butterfly 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Lost Heroes of World War One 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Bomber Boys: Revealed 21:00 5 News at 9 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Mentalist

43

Friday, November 4, 2011

AWNINGS

ACCOMODATION Pensión La Oficina (The Black Bull)situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35 € per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations. (38)

EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLD DRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900. 25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH GUARANTEED SITES. 619 307 318. (52) Bar for sale. Quesada area. Going cheap. For information pack, email: .

Tel: 688 800 960 (40) Brand new clothing for Sale. 10,000 pieces of mixed childrens, ladies and mens wear. Ideal for market traders. Bargain price 1€ per item. Call now on 651 885 200. (38)

ACCOUNTANTS Bogged down in paperwork? Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.(38)

AIR CONDITIONING

ALARMS Protect your home with PROSEGUR Alarm Systems. Don’t have just any alarm ringing out to no one - get connected to the professionals.

Immediate connection to the police via our 24/7 control centre, with video surveillance included.

Don’t wait until it´s too late. For a free quote call 966 923 963 (38)

CHURCH SERVICES

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

BOATS BOATING LICENSES ARE NOW A LEGAL REQUIREMENT IN SPAIN Serenity Sailing RYA Training Centre, Competent Crew to Yachtmaster, VHF & ICC Own boat tuition on sail and power. If you have a yacht or powerboat get qualified and certified Contact Richard 0034 638 056 224 enquiries@serenitysailing.com/www.serenitysailing.com

International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am. Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Tata 4 x 2 2 litre TD EX 7 seater 2002, 86,000 km, fully serviced, alloys, aircon, bullbar side steps, CD etc, silver 3.450 euros Tel 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com

Architect

Fiat Punto 1.2 5dr 2004 74,000 km, fully serviced, silver, 3450 euros tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Renault Kangoo combi 1.5 dci 2004 twin sliding doors, air con, alloys, cd, white, lovely condition, FSH 4950 eurosTel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Nissan Micra Cabriolet 1.4 90bhp 2006, 2 owners 84,000km, FSH, stunning car with solid power roof finished in metallic burnt orange, alloys, aircon, blue tooth etc etc 7755 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com Renault Scenic 1.9 dci 2004 1 owner 95,000km, fsh, 6spd alloys, rain and light sensors stunning condition pearlescent silver 7750 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Mercedes!

Mercedes! good selection of Mercedes over 10 different models in stock new and used vehicles sourced Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwr eurocars.com Hyundai Atos 1.0 litre gls 5 dr, 2000 model, 73,000 kms, full service history, air con 2250 euros tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com Renault Kango van right hand drive 1.9 diesel nov 2000 long mot & tax 995 euros tel 600 726 221 965 687 976

AUCTION

FOR SALE Climbing frame with slide, fireman`s pole, climbing net ,etc ...900€ Double Swing...100€ ph 966 789 728 or 606 797 371 or email maria_cawley @hotmail.com

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.co m or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 TipTop Villa Care, for all your property needs. www.tiptopvillacare.com e-mail linda@tiptopvillacare.com Tel 667848582 (39)

PROPERTY FOR RENT FORMENTERA de la SEGURA. 2 bedroom apartment 350€/mth* Near to town, Pool. Linda 667848582 (39) Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CAR MECHANIC

ALARMS BUILDER / CONSTRUCTION COMPUTERS

AWNINGS / POOL COVERS CAR SALES

BLOCKED DRAINS Unblock a Rod SL 24 hours Emergency Service Tel 966 720 109 - Mobile 618 356 270

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

COMPUTER CLUB

44

Friday, November 4, 2011

Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707

188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 70, Superb 3 bedroom detached villa set on a large plot in San Luis. The Property is close to the Habaneras Shopping Centre, Aquapark and other amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 33, A lovely large 2 bedroom, ground floor apartment within walking distance to the beach.

Large lounge, 1 double bedroom and 1 twin bedroom on a gated community. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed groundfloor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis. The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 La Finca. 2 bed, 3 bath townhouse. Long let.

Fully furnished. Air con.

Lovely location. Gated community. NO PETS. T.V. Views. Communal pool, Solarium, Contracts. €450 month.

690 731 160 (34) Luxury appartments, 2/3 bedrooms in San Miguel De Salinas. Floor heating, Elevator, Roof terrace with swimmingpool, from 385 euros/month Also holiday rentals and appartments in San Miguel de Salinas from

FINANCE

ENERGY SAVER

FAST BROADBAND

350 euros/month. 966 723 437 and 616 487 493 110,000€ PRICED TO SELL. SANTIAGO de la RIBERA. 3 bedroom 2 bathroom Villa 1km from beach 5 minutes from Dos Mares Shopping Centre. Linda 667848582 (39)

PROPERTY FOR SALE Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course

FISHING

opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath mid terraced Altomar 1, views of Alicante Bay, close to communal pool, walking distance to bars and resturants opportunity at reduced price 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Quesada, detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bath, all large rooms, front enclosed conservatory, fully furnished, oiled fuelled heating, outdoor poolside kitchen and bbq area enclosed, large pool, outside toilet, garage for 2 cars, newly refurbished, established garden with fruit trees, set in a cul de sac on 1000m2, the overall plot can be divided, as registered as two plots, so this house could be a substantial investment opportunity, situated in the Dona pepe area close to Quesada town centre, priced 255,000 negotiable Tel 680 333 242

Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PAVING

PETS

GENTLEMAN’S BARBER

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Friday, November 4, 2011

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46

Friday, November 4, 2011

Th AABBCC of football TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE B-B-BEAUTIFUL GAME WITH OUR QUIZ WITH A DIFFERENCE Galatasaray - both a long way identical number of games for Twente, Utrecht and Rangers? from his native Ivory Coast?

WHICH FF is the current goalkee- ...AND which Spanish striker NN would have briefly crossed paths per at Celtic? with him at Ibrox in 2004?

WHICH GG was a key member of the great Liverpool team of the WHICH OO of Sporting in Portugal is a towering regular in 1980s? the US national team?

WHICH HH is the second most capped Icelandic player, on the WHICH PP would you travel to in order to watch Nigel Clough’s books at Portsmouth? team?

WHAT QQ might you get after a match from Neil Warnock?

WHICH RR was possibly the most striking figure of the 2002 World Cup in the Turkish goal?

WHICH BB has a statue dedicated to him outside Leeds United’s ground?

WHICH SS is the beginning and end of the club which gave the world Pele?

WHICH CC of West Ham seems to be the only player with his surname who hasn’t played for England?

WHICH TT is a team in the Russian Premier League?

WHICH DD lifted the World Cup to adoring home fans in 1998?

WHICH II finishes off the name of a kingly-sounding Dutch club relegated last season?

WHICH EE last month swopped the English Premier League for

WHICH JJ has been a regular performer at Spurs since 2005?

WHICH WW was England manager at the start of the decade in which they won the World Cup? WHICH XX represents the beginning and end of a Swiss premier league club? ...AND which rivals in the same league include in their name two YYs? WHICH ZZ is frozen in World Cup history at the moment of the action that marked the end of his career?

WHICH KK has racked up well over 100 caps for the Republic of Ireland?

WHICH LL, a Congolese striker for Newcastle and Portsmouth, suffered a terrible tragedy when his infant son died of pneumoWHICH UU club was dissolved in nia? the summer, despite recent sucWHICH MM played an almost cess in Europe against Rangers?

ANSWERS: Andrei Arshavin; Billy Bremner; Carlton Cole; Didier Deschamps; Emmanuel Eboue; Fraser Forster; Gary Gillespie; Hermann Hreidarsson; Willem II; Jermaine Jenas; Kevin Kilbane; Lomana LuaLua; Michael Mols; Nacho Novo; Oguchi Onyewu; Pride Park; QPR quotes; Rustu Recber; Santos; Tom Tomsk; Unirea Urzeceni; Victor Valdes; Walter Winterbottom; Xamax; Young Boys; Zinedine Zidane.

WHICH AA survived being knocked down as a child to become a huge star for his national team and Arsenal?

WHICH VV has had a dazzling career in the Barcelona goal but can hardly get a game for Spain?

CHULO’S DOUBLE RESCUES MONTESINOS A GOAL in each half, both by Chulo gave Montesinos CD MONTESINOS 2 ORIHUELA COSTA 2 a share of the points in this well supported and very keenly contested clash. it was unbeaten Montesinos who almost took the lead The visitors arrived in good form having thrashed when Chulo smashed a long range effort against the Benejuzar 9-3 the previous week. However, from the start crossbar.

Minutes later, the same player latched onto a loose ball on the edge of the Orihuela Costa area, and blasted an unstoppable shot into the net.

Orihuela Costa’s physical game was punished by two yellow cards in quick succession – but they equalised from a badly-defended corner kick.

Minutes later they were in front from a long range effort which appeared to be going straight at home keeper Cubano, only for a high bounce to deceive him.

Monte, geed up by manager Juanpe during the break, almost drew level early in the second half, but again the woodwork intervened - taking the force of a Macan shot.

Chances came and went for Monte with. Chulo, Macan, Andres I and Dimitry all coming close. And with only minutes to go, Chulo came to the rescue with his second goal of the game.

This weekend CD Montesinos travel to Almoradi. For information, go to www.cdmontesinos.com, contact us via email at thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or by telephone on 637 869 602.

In association with CajaMurcia

FEDERACION MURCIANA DE RUGBY Cartagena 26-XV Murcia 14 Lorca CR 26 ITV Vega Baja 10 Squalos San Javier 33 Torrevieja Tigers 12

P W D Cartagena 2 2 0 Lorca 2 2 0 UCAM M’cia 2 2 0 Squalos SJ 3 1 1 Albacete** 2 1 0 Vega Baja 3 1 1 Gegants Nov 2 0 0 XV Murcia** 1 0 0 Torrevieja T.* 2 0 0

L B 0 2 1 2 0 1 1 1 1 2 1 0 2 1 1 0 2 0

PF 76 59 75 72 50 49 24 14 12

PA 21 81 20 64 41 51 43 26 84

Pts 10 10 9 7 6 6 1 0 0

47

Friday, November 4, 2011

HEIGHTS OUT!

By STEVE BOTT

NORMAL service has resumed at the top of La Liga.

Real Madrid lead the way with Barcelona second and Levante now in third place after their flirtation with the giddy heights as early season leaders.

Quite a few people were surprised to see the Valencia-based outfit up there, however briefly, but it's not the first time a minnow has risen to match the best.

Carlisle United did it in England’s old First Division in the 1970s and Northampton Town also rose from the Football League basement to compete with the best in the top division. OK, so they both went straight back down but they had more than a few moments to savour!

Elsewhere Wolfsburg raised eyebrows when they came from nowhere to top the German Bundesliga a few seasons ago and Manchester City, riding high five points clear at the top of the Premier League right now, once struggled against Halifax Town after dropping two divisions. Mind you, that was well before the Arabs arrived on the scene to make them the richest club in the world.

As I said last week, the race for the Premier League crown is far from over. The Etihad boys may be racing ahead now but there are still five months to go and a lot of games to be played. And as one former player and telly pundit said at the weekend, City WILL have their bad spell.

Arsenal and Tottenham made people sit up and rate them, just in case people were thinking the title is bound for Old Trafford or Stamford Bridge if City do fail.

Arsenal delighted everyone by walloping five past Chelsea in an eight-goal thriller at

Levante’s soaring stars are losing their twinkle

are a dim and distant memory! Spurs added to their growing list of admirers with a resounding 3-1 win at the Lane against new boys QPR that brought smiles all round for all those involved with Happy Harry Redknapp's band.

AN OPEN DOOR FOR ROONEY

Stamford Bridge and although they did concede three themselves, many are now saying Chelsea are a spent force particularly at the back. They reckon John Terry, pictured above, should be looking round for someone to help him into his bathchair!

He is certainly struggling with his current centre back partners.

Personally, I feel the departure of Ricardo Carvalho has a lot to do with this - and the Portuguese defender is of an age, in footballing longevity terms, where bathchairs

THE English football press were aghast to see that Wayne Rooney is the only British footballer to make the Ballon D'Or World Footballer of the Year shortlist.

Barcelona have eight players on the list, including Lionel Messi, who has won the award for the past two seasons.

Nani (Man Utd), Luis Suarez (Liverpool) and Sergio Aguero (Man City) are the other England-based players named.

Rooney helped Manchester United lift a record 19th league title last season - and to reach the final of the European Cup. European champions Barcelona dominate FIFA's list, with Cesc Fabregas, who spent part of 2011 with Arsenal, named alongside Messi.

Real Madrid have five nominees, including former Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo and ex-Liverpool midfielder Xabi Alonso.

SOME LIKE IT YACHT

BRITISH BALLON D'OR WINNERS • 1956: Stanley Matthews • 1964: Denis Law • 1966: Bobby Charlton • 1968: George Best • 1978-79: Kevin Keegan • 2001: Michael Owen Arsenal's Arsene Wenger joins Sir Alex Ferguson and Chelsea's Andre Villas-Boas on the managerial list. A decision will be made on January 9. The shortlist will be narrowed down to three names for each category on 5 December.

Player nominees: Eric Abidal (France), Sergio Aguero (Argentina), Karim Benzema (France), Iker Casillas (Spain), Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal), Dani Alves (Brazil), Samuel Eto'o (Cameroon), Cesc Fabregas (Spain), Diego Forlan (Uruguay), Andres Iniesta (Spain), Lionel Messi (Argentina), Thomas Muller (Germany), Nani (Portugal), Neymar (Brazil), Mesut Ozil (Germany), Gerard Pique (Spain), Wayne Rooney (England), Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany), Wesley Sneijder (Netherlands), Luis Suarez (Uruguay), David Villa (Spain), Xabi Alonso (Spain), Xavi (Spain).

Coach nominees: Vicente Del Bosque (Spain/Spain national team), Sir Alex Ferguson (Scotland/Manchester United), Rudi Garcia (France/Lille), Pep Guardiola (Spain/Barcelona), Jurgen Klopp (Germany/Borussia Dortmund), Joachim Loew (Germany/Germany national team), Jose Mourinho (Portugal/Real Madrid), Oscar Tabarez (Uruguay/Uruguay national team), Andre Villas-Boas (Portugal/Porto, Chelsea), Arsene Wenger (France/Arsenal).

World flocks to Alicante’s Ocean Race spectacular

By CHRIS JEFFRIES and NORMAN SPRING THOUSANDS of spectators, officials and participants from all over the world have converged on Alicante over the last few weeks to celebrate tomorrow’s official start of the 2011 – 2012 Volvo Round the World Ocean Race.

Six teams are taking part in the race – Abu Dhabi Ocean Racing, PUMA powered by BERG, CAMPER with Emirates team NZ, Team Sanya, Groupamar Sailing Team and of course our local entry, Team Telefonica.

A Race Village has been constructed in the port of Alicante which has now been made the home for the start of this and future Volvo Ocean Races.

Visitors can enjoy some 40,000 square metres dedicated to entertainment, with a programme brimming with concerts, shows, exhibitions, sailing clinics, rides, fireworks and restaurants.

The centrepiece of the Race Village will be the stars of the Volvo Ocean Race itself – the six 70ft Volvo Open 70 racing yachts and the crews that will race them an estimated 39,000 nautical miles through the world’s toughest oceans.

Over the last few weeks, the six teams have been sailing in and around the Port area of Alicante, testing and trialling the boats and their sailing skills. And, being such large yachts, they could be easily seen by the public from all around the coastline.

The first official contest was the in-port race last Saturday, which unfortunately was not very spectacular due to the lack of wind which at one point reduced speeds almost to a standstill.

The boats started at 14:00 local time – and it was a very

close fought opening. Puma was closest to the beach and with the cleanest wind.

They raced up the coastline to the first mark where Abu Dhabi was first around, followed closely by Camper. Puma had to duck down behind the first two boats to make it a clean rounding of the mark and to avoid breaking any of the rules.

They then sailed back down to mark two where Puma had overtaken Camper. As they rounded mark two the wind started to drop off even more and it became a tactical battle. A crew member was sent up the mast to look for wind coming in over the water to try to gain the best advantage over the other boats.

They sailed away from the spectators area out to sea to another set of marks where they would have to make a tactical decision as to which one of the ‘gate’ marks to go around.

Abu Dhabi managed to round first and get the best wind to sail to victory whilst the other five boats battled it out with close slow speed gybes (turning the boat from side to side for the uninitiated). The aim was to get the best speed for their boats in these tricky conditions.

Abu Dhabi finished in first place, with Puma second and Camper third, followed by team Sanya, Groupama and team Telefonica.

In-port races take place in all 10 host ports around the world, testing the crews’ skills in close-quarters manoeuvres and tactics.

More than 20 per cent of all points are up for grabs in the

in-port racing, which could prove vital when overall positions are decided. The races also provide a show for the millions of people who will watch the race worldwide.

The race around the world will start at 14:00 tomorrow (November 5) with the first leg from Alicante to Cape Town in South Africa - a distance of 6,500 nautical miles and estimated to take 20 days.

The whole race consists of nine legs, finishing at Galway on the west coast of Ireland next July after sailing an estimated total of 39,000 nautical miles.

For more information visit www.volvooceanrace.com

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Friday, November 4, 2011

MAN-TASTIC Barca beware, Mancini City are HOT, HOT, HOT

MANCHESTER City came of age in the Champions League in Villarreal on Wednesday night.

Just a couple of weeks after looking barely average despite snatching a dramatic late, late win against the same Spanish side at the Etihad Stadium, City put in a superb performance that had punBy STEVE dits discussing how soon they would be matching Barcelona in BOTT terms of European dominance.

Such was the manner of their 3-0 victory.

Yaya Toure put them ahead on the half hour and added another in the second half after Mario Balotelli had won and converted a penalty just before half-time.

But Roberto Mancini's men also looked organised, disciplined and very, very impressive as they gave themselves a more-than-even chance of qualifying from a difficult group that looked to be too much for them in their opening games.

Now, a win and a draw in their remaining Group A games against Napoli and Bayern Munich will see them through to the knockout stages and at worst they will go into the Europa Cup as third-place finishers.

Champions League holders BARCELONA showed they are still the team supreme with a 4-0 win over PIZEN, Lionel Messi starring with a hat-trick - and BAYERN MUNICH helped City as they came out on top 3-2 against NAPOLI. MANCHESTER UNITED experimented again in their home game against OTELUL GALATI. Antonio Valencia scoring an early goal and Wayne Rooney, starting in midfield, adding a second with the help of a deflection off a Galati defender.

There were plaudits galore for United old boy Cristiano Ronaldo as he took his tally to a remarkable 100 goals in 105 games for REAL MADRID, 2-0 winners in France against LYON. CHELSEA and ARSENAL were held to draws by GENK and MARSEILLE respectively while AJAX thrashed DINAMO ZAGREB 4-0 and INTER MILAN

CITY SLICKERS: From left, boss Roberto Mancini, two-goal Yaya Toure and Mario Balotelli

beat Lille 2-1.

BENFICA were held 1-1 at home by FC BASEL and TRABZONSPOR played out a 0-0 stalemate with CSKA MOSCOW. Cypriot surprise guys APOEL NICOSIA continued their amazing run in the competition with a 2-1 win over FC PORTO and BATE BORISOV held AC MILAN 1-1 while BORUSSIA DORTMUND beat Greeks OLYMPIAKOS 1-0.

VALENCIA chalked up an impressive 3-1 win against BAYER LEVERKUSEN with the help of a cheeky backheel from striker Roberto Soldado and finally Russians ZENIT ST PETERSBURG beat SHAKHTAR DONETSK 1-0.

On a more sombre note, every footballer throughout Europe and beyond will be sparing a thought for AC Milan's Antonio Cassano who was taken ill on a flight with his team-mates after a game against his former club Roma. The club have denied he had a stroke but the 29-year-old is to undergo minor heart surgery and is likely to be out for around six months.

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