The Courier Week 42

Edition 42

www.thecourier.es

Friday, December 9, 2011

JUST THE JOB WHAT A LOTTA BOTTLE! Picture: Colin Whitfield

THE massive campaign to raise funds for 10-year-old Aitana Garcia Doiz to undergo life-saving surgery in America has been taken up with a vengeance by El Raso resident Jeff Downing.

With around 700 tons of plastic caps required to generate the €200,000-plus cost of a double heart and lung transplant, the veteran fundraiser has had large water bottles left alongside the

urbanisation’s communal rubbish bins.

An attached note asks residents to deposit their plastic tops in the bottle rather than the bin iself.

“We can get to a lot more people this way -- and we’ve already filled more than half a dozen bottles in no time at all,’’ says Jeff, who is pictured above with helper Marie Whitfield and some of the full containers.

By DONNA GEE RYANAIR have backtracked on a ridiculous demand that laid-off employees at Alicante Airport must NOT work elsewhere while they are grounded.

Courier pressure pays as Ryanair ease work ban on laid-off staff

The ban - forced by the slashing of flights during the winter - meant that dozens of breadwinners faced a winter with no income, and several disgruntled cabin-crew members to contact The Courier.

One insisted: “Ryanair don’t care that for months we have no income to pay our bills and buy food. We cannot apply for unemployment benefit or anything like that because we are still employed.’’

Initially, Ryanair’s In it, the instruction “you European Communications chief Daniel De Carvalho will not be engaged in insisted there was no such employment, paid or otherban, saying: “All cabin crew wise, with any other compaare free to work elsewhere ny, organisation or individduring periods of unpaid ual’’ is suffixed with the words ’without advanced leave’’.

We can reveal that there written permission from indeed WAS a block on tak- Ryanair.’’

Meanwhile, Mr Carvalho ing temporary employment ANYWHERE - as the memo insisted: “Heather Daly’s letfrom Heather Daly, Ryanair’s ter was already brought to European In-Flight Bases our attention by a number of our crew, and has recently manager, shows.

But following the Courier’s been corrected and reissued, revelations that staff were so that the two clauses which facing months with no refer to staff on unpaid leave income whatsoever, Daly cir- not working elsewhere have culated a ‘’corrected and been amended to include the reissued’’ memo on Tuesday. phrase “without prior written

TKO FM is back on 87.7 TKO FM is pleased tto announce that it is back on air broadcasting on 87.7. Yes, your fun-in-the-sun station is back to full strength!

permission from Ryanair”.

“A number of crew have already sought and obtained permission to work elsewhere while on unpaid leave this winter.

“The reference in Heather Daly’s memo to reviewing the requirement for unpaid leave in early January will clearly depend upon the dates on which our aircraft at various bases will return to service.

“There may well be some further periods of unpaid leave for some crew, whereas others will be returning to flying duties at the end of January. This again is the normal management of unpaid leave during quiet periods in the tourism industry in Spain and Portugal during the winter.

“Like many other tourism

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Goose me, goose - I’m quackers about you!

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96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 1003 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Therese Guardamar, La Marina, Santa pola, Gran Alacant Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Harold Heys Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

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Picture of the week

96 692 1003

MEASLES ALERT

And that does NOT mean avoiding anything German!

AFTER years of decline, measles is on the rise in Europe, according to a new report.

European health officials reported more than 26,000 measles cases this year and nine deaths. That's a threefold increase in cases from the same time period in 2007, according to the World Health Organisation.

France accounted for 14,000 cases, mainly in children older than five and in young adults.

Other big outbreaks of the highlycontagious disease have been identified here in Spain, and also in Romania, Macedonia, and Uzbekistan.

So far, measles has killed nine people in Europe and hospitalised thousands of others.

The report has nothing to do with German measles (rubella), which is sometimes confused with measles itself (rubeola). The diseases are in fact unrelated.

"We are seeing a surge of cases much larger than we've seen in the past five or six years," said Rebecca Martin, immunisation programme manager for WHO's Europe office in Copenhagen. Measles cases had been dropping for years, but began to increase sharply in late 2009.

Martin said the epidemic was fuelled

mainly by low vaccination rates and noted about half the cases were in those older than 15.

"Over the years, people who haven't been vaccinated are now giving the virus a big opportunity to spread.”.

The report said overall vaccination rates in Europe were high, but still didn't meet the 95 percent target needed to stop outbreaks. Of the people who got measles, about half weren't vaccinated and the vaccination histories of many of the others was unknown.

More cases in Europe have also meant spill over elsewhere.

Measles is highly contagious and up to 90 percent of people exposed to an infected person get sick, experts say.

The virus spreads easily through the air, and in closed rooms, infected droplets can linger for up to two hours after the sick person leaves. It causes

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Ryanair ease ban from Page One businesses in Spain and Portugal we reduce our employment during the quiet winter period and then offer to re-hire these people back as we move into the busy summer period.’’

There is also concern amongst cabin crew who opted to move to keep working through the winter.

One of our sources revealed: “Some of us were due to take unpaid leave between November 2011 and March 2012 and although they managed to get transferred to bases like Madrid, Barcelona, Dublin and the UK, Ryanair has not cancelled that unpaid period. ‘’Yet they are no long based where there is a big reduction of aircraft – namely Alicante. They also have no income at their new bases with which to finance costs in moving to a new base.’’

COME ALL YE FAITHFUL TO TORREVIEJA...

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Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

TORREVIEJA’S English-speaking churches will unite for a special Christmas Carol Service next Wednesday (December 14) It starts at 7pm and features the ‘Crescendo International Choir’ and ‘Just Brass’ band.

Venue is Torrevieja Christian Fellowship, Avda de las Cortes

Monday Bright sunshine High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 18°C

Valencianas 68 (between Iceland and the Needle). Doors open at 6.30 pm and a collection will be made for Apanee Children's and Alzeimer's Society charities.

Singing of Christmas Carols Habaneras Shopping Centre - Friday December 16 at 12 noon If you are out shopping on this day,

come and join TCF Church and the expats contingent singing Carols.

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship Church Carol Service - Sunday December 18 at 10.30 am.

TCF Church will be holding its Carol Service to celebrate the Christmas Story. Everyone is welcome. Mince pies, tea and coffee to follow.

Friday Sunny High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 17°C

Saturday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 17°C

Sunday Drizzle High Temperature: 17°C RealFeel: 17°C

Tuesday Bright sunshine High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 18°C

Wednesday Sunny High Temperature: 21°C RealFeel: 19°C

Thursday Rain High Temperature: 16°C RealFeel: 17°C

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Friday, December 9, 2011

HILARIOUS NIGHT AS XMAS SPIRIT FLOWS

AUDIENCES departed with aching jaws from laughing and sore hands from clapping after watching the Stagestruck! production Christmas Spirit at Los Montesinos and Virgen Del Carmen theatres.

The show was such a success that many people who saw it on the Thursday or Friday booked to see the final show the following Monday.

Stagestruck! has only been in existence for four months. The group performed murder mysteries to raise money to buy materials for scenery and props and after two performances of Christmas Spirit handed over €1,200 to Adismon, the charity for disabled children in Los Montesinos. In addition, one performance at Virgen Del Carmen raised €510 for Age Concern

– an incredible achievement in such a short space of time.

Group founder Stella Reardon, who also wrote, directed and choreographed the show, said: “I can hardly believe it. The cast and crew have worked really hard, I couldn’t have wished for more dedication from them. A big thank-you and congratulations to them all, especially the ones who haven’t been on stage before.”

After performing a Cinderella-type panto at Hoggies in San Luis just before Christmas, where the audience will be very much involved, the group will take a well-earned rest before starting rehearsals in the New Year for Ancient Grease, which was a sell-out in May and is back by popular demand.

Benjamin Tight (Ian Smith) remonstrates with his Spirit Mum (Yvonne West) in Stagestruck’s Christmas Spirit

BLACK WHERE YOU BELONG

Iberia pilots set for Xmas strike

25 more years for Jennifer’s ghoul killer

The former delivery driver abducted Jennifer while on a work trip to Northern Ireland and dumped her body in water close to the main Belfast-Dublin road before catching a ferry home.

Black, 64, was sentenced at Belfast Black, who is already serving multiple life Crown Court after being found guilty last terms in Wakefield prison, was sentenced by month of snatching nine-year-old Jennifer as Mr Justice Ronald Weatherup, who had earshe cycled to a friend's house in Ballinderry, lier heard the killer's own lawyer offer no plea Jennifer Cardy County Antrim, in 1981. for mercy. David Spens QC told the judge: ''This is one of those rare cases in which there is no mitigation and so I propose to say nothing in that regard.''

Prosecution barrister Toby Hedworth QC argued that Black should face a whole IF you’re going off to see family and feel like it. All you need is access to a life term, given his other friends in the UK for Christmas, there’s computer and our free and easy service killings. no need to cut yourself off from the can be staring you in the face in secAround 40 killers, including news and the gossip here on the Costa onds. Read through all your favourite Moors Murderer Ian Brady Blanca. features at your leisure but make sure and Rose West, have been Because you can always access The you finish before 10pm each Thursday, formally told they will never Courier’s latest edition online, no mat- Spanish time. be released. ter where you are in the world.

That’s when the following week’s ediBut the judge gave Black Just go to www.thecourier.es and tion takes over online, 12 hours before another life sentence with a click on ‘Latest Issue’. This will bring up the paper hits the streets. minimum of 25 years instead. the Front Page. Click once on it and you Your unbeatable Courier is always at Jennifer's murder was the will then be able to read the entire paper your fingertips...so don’t forget to look fourth for which Black has via the facsimile images whenever you us up while you’re away.

SERIAL child killer Robert Black is to serve a minimum of 25 years in jail for murdering schoolgirl Jennifer Cardy 30 years ago.

GOING AWAY? GIVE US A CLICK UP THE CYBER!

IBERIA'S pilots unit Sepla on Wednesday called strikes for Sunday December 18 and Thursday December 29 in protest over the company's plans to set up a low-cost carrier for short and medium-haul flights.

At a news conference, Sepla's chairman, Justo Peral, said the stoppages were called after negotiations with Iberia's management to find an alternative to the creation of Iberia Express had failed to produce in an agreement.

He said the days that had been chosen for the strikes were chosen to create the least possible disruption to the Spanish tourist industry.

"We do not want to cause harm, but the company does," Peral said.

Iberia's cabin crew have opted to continue talks with the management rather than come out on strike with the pilots.

In a statement, Iberia said it regretted the inconvenience to passengers that would be caused by the strikes during the Christmas holiday period and would implement a contingency plan once the Public Works Ministry indicates the minimum services the pilots have to comply with.

It said these normally include all flights to and from the Canary and Balearic Islands and 90 percent of long-haul Turn to Page 20 flights, as well as between 30 and 50 percent of short and medium-haul flights.

Iberia said it would attempt to place affected customers on other Iberia flights or on flights or ground routes operated by other companies. Iberia will also offer refunds to customers who request them.

Alicante girl, 13, in 50% burns horror

A 13-year-old girl is in hospital with burns to 50 percent of her body after a fire at her family’s home in Alicante City early on Wednesday.

The teenager is under treatment in the Intensive Care Unit of Alicante General Hospital, where her condition is described as serious.

Her mother was also admitted to ICU for smoke inhalation.

The blaze broke out shortly before 6am in the lounge of the house, trapping the young girl in her bedroom.

The other family members, including an eight year old boy, managed to escape outside without assistance and have now been discharged from hospital after suffering the minor effects of smoke inhalation.

The cause of the fire is under investigation.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

ONE MAN’S MEAT IS JUST NOT HUMANE

I’M starting this week’s rant on a highly controversial topic - and I defend raising it because we should be able to discuss difficult subjects and not pretend they don't exist.

I enjoy eating meat - after all, human beings evolved from hunter gathers and caught and ate their food.

But what I insist upon - and I am sure the vast majority of you would agree - is that we expect the animals we rear for food are killed in the most humane way possible.

That's why I applaud Holland for its move to insist that animals should be stunned before slaughter and are planning to legislate on the subject.

It will join several other European countries, including Finland, Iceland, Latvia, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland, in insisting that animals are stunned before slaughter.

But Jewish and Muslim leaders see a worrying global trend, with the Netherlands a critical test case. They are fighting a battle on two fronts - to dispel the idea there is anything inhumane about their traditional methods of slaughter, and to defend their right to live according to their religious beliefs.

In my book it is barbaric to kill animals by slitting their throats and allowing them to bleed to death.

It may have been acceptable in Biblical times, and until the advent of more humane methods of killing animals for food, but it is not acceptable now and I applaud countries that put an end to the practice.

It's about time the subject was on the agenda in every other European country and, frankly, if Jews and Muslims want to continue they should go to those countries where they are in the majority and not inflict it on everyone else.

If I slit the throat of an animal I would be instantly prosecuted by the RSPCA in the UK for animal cruelty. There should be no exemption on religious grounds.

For too long, religious tolerance has been used to allow such appalling practices which we find an abomination, and it's time for a sensible debate on this most sensitive subject.

Question: How has the animal we eat in Indian restaurants been killed? Now there's a Pandora's Box worthy of being opened!

NO apologies for raising another controversial subject, too the appalling news story that there were almost 3,000 "honour attacks" in the UK last year.

'Honour' attacks are punishments usually carried out on women who have been accused of bringing shame on their family. And in the past they have included abductions, mutilations, beatings and murder, the report said.

This is yet another appalling import as a result of British

politicians and do-gooders opening the floodgates to immigrants.

Remember the drivel from David Cameron and politicians before him that Britain has been enriched by immigration? I hope they feel pleased with themselves that this is the end result of their utter stupidity.

The multi-cultural experiment in Britain has been an utter failure...and here's another example.

We're left with immigrant ghettos, countless thousands of illegal immigrants hidden within their communities, a huge drain on Britain's benefit system, prisons bulging with inmates from ethnic communities and these barbaric honour attacks, including murders - a throwback from Middle Eastern medieval times. Heaven help us.

AT the weekend we were in Torrevieja town centre to watch the magical parade of Disney and other children's characters - and what a wonderful occasion it was.

The procession passed along the packed street at a snail's pace, allowing the many hundreds of children to meet their favourite characters - Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, etc, etc.

Most were on foot, allowing children to walk to them and their proud parents to take pictures, which undoubtedly will take pride of place in the children's bedrooms for years.

The little ones were also allowed to enter the magical carriage to meet Cinderella. What a wonderful moment that must have been for pre-teen children - like Eurodisney arriving on their doorstep!

Death-drive woman jailed after cheating chase ends in tragedy A JEALOUS girlfriend has been jailed for wo years after mowing down a man as she sped after her lover, who she thought was cheating.

Teacher Claire Johnson, 25, from Southampton, pleaded guilty to causing the death of scaffolder Matthew Bailey, 22, by dangerous driving.

The court heard that Johnson suspected boyfriend Russell Bennett, 24, was having an affair, and had staked out the Mexican restaurant

where he worked.

When she saw him drive off with a woman in his car at 2am, she followed him. Bennett, driving a Ford Focus, became aware of his girlfriend pursuing him in her BMW Mini and drove through three red lights in a bid to get away.

As the two cars sped along a road in Portsmouth, Bennett's car missed Mr Bailey as he attempted to cross the road with friends after a night out.

But he was hit seconds later by

Johnson as she also ignored the traffic signals. The court heard that Johnson tried to resuscitate Mr Bailey but he died.

His mother , Anne Hayes, said after the trial: : "He was so happy with his new job and full of plans for the future.

"Thinking of all the things he will never do and all the times he won't be there is just unbearable."

Bennett, from Birmingham, was sentenced to 14 months after pleading guilty to dangerous driving.

What a contrast a carnival here in Spain is to boring Britain! In my seaside former UK home town, which has a size and population not far short of Torre, the annual carnival procession consists of a number of trade floats (boring just promoting a business), an equal number of floats entered by charities, one or two eccentric folk doing rather strange things and a band or two if you are lucky.

Almost all the procession is on floats and they quickly drive past with people held back behind barriers. The object seems to be to get around the route as quickly as possible, with almost all those on foot with buckets to collect money.

The money might be going to charities but in Spain the priority is not on cash, it's on fun.

Over here people don't seem to have making money paramount on their sad minds.

Brits should visit Spain and learn a few things about mounting a successful carnival, doing what it is supposed to do - be a magical time for kids and, for a change, not looking on it as a money-making exercise. Perhaps that really is what's wrong with the UK - Brits are money, money, money mad.

JEREMY Clarkson certainly managed to hit the headlines, didn't he? I rolled up with laughter when I heard his remarks about striking public sector workers – saying they should be shot in front of their families.

Well, obviously extreme - and obviously said as a joke.

But it provoked a predictable backlash from the public sector unions, who demanded Clarkson’s sacking - and said to be seeking legal advice as to whether he could be prosecuted.

Heaven help free speech if ever union mentality prevails!

Britain desperately needs legislation which outlaws strikes while negotiations are ongoing. If every stage of negotiation fails to produce a settlement, then it would go to a legally binding, truly independent tribunal which workers and management must abide by. If that happened, there would be no more strikes. Hurrah!

Dear Jeremy should have vented his ire against greedy bosses awarding themselves pay and perk rises of up to 49 per cent at a time when we all are suffering financially.

These are the real villains in Britain, as I have written in this column several times. And I have called for legislation to bring them into line.

It was therefore wonderful to hear from Nick Clegg that at long, long last the government will legislate if greedy bosses don't get into the real world and limit their own pay rises to that of their workers.

Not before time - and isn't it wonderful that once again the government is taking its lead from The Courier’s columnists!

SPAIN’S National Transplant Organisation set a new record with 94 organ transplants between November 23-25.

The donations allowed 53 kidney and 23 liver transplants to be performed, along with eight lung, six heart, one intestine and three pancreas transplants, the Health Ministry said in a communiqué.

Two of the people who benefited from these operations were in a state of maximum urgency, mean-

Transplant record for the NTO ing that if they had not received an organ in 24-48 hours they could have died.

Of the 39 donors, two were foreigners and another two died in a traffic accident.

The procedures were carried out at 40 hospitals in 14 Spanish regions and at two clinics in Portugal, and nearly 1,000 people in all were involved.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Spain’s biggest loser has to be my dad-in-law I SUSPECT that all the boobs Andres and I make may be a genetic thing. Mum obviously passed down the ability to ‘mord wix’, but my dad has had a hand in it as well.

In Spain in the early ‘70s, land was often bought by families as an investment. Andres' dad and a friend bought five decent sized plots each near to Torrevieja, but in an insignificant area in the nearby countryside.

One day the friend told Andres' dad that he was going to build houses on the land he had purchased and sell them.

He asked Andres’s dad (name) if he would come into the enterprise with him and share the profits.

Andres' dad said "No, I’ll not bother. I want to keep the land for my children… ’’ The friend was… Señor Justo Quesada, the founder and developer of Ciudad Quesada. Enough said.

He is, and always has been, animal crackers. A British trait in general, I

think. One day, in the late ‘60s, when the laws on keeping certain animals as pets were a lot more relaxed, he came home with a baby monkey!

My mum, heavily pregnant with her third child , was livid - but her mothering instinct kicked in and she succumbed to feeding and cleaning the little Justo Quesada: spider monkey.

Not knowing any Founder better, my sister and I of a city took the animal out for a walk in my future brother's pram. Fully dressed in doll’s clothes, it looked warm and content, but did look bizarre.

Anyway, we bumped into my grandmother, who was walking up the street on her way to visit us.

"Look, Grandma" we shouted, running proudly towards her, "here's your new grandson": She pulled back the pram hood, uncovered one very furry baby and screamed in shock.

She played merry hell with my poor mother and wouldn’t speak to her for ages afterwards.

Piranha riddle after fishing boy has his chips A TEENAGER is believed to have committed "suicide by piranha" after leaping into a river infested with the flesh-eating fish.

Fisherman Oscar Barbosa, 18, bled to death after jumping out of his canoe. He suffered dozens of bites to his throat and face on Bolivia's Yata River, local police chief Daniel Cayaya revealed.

He believed Oscar — from RYANAIR looks set to shock the world once again with Rosario del Yata in the north its latest publicity ploy.

This time the Irish airline is suggesting the offer of east of the country — meant porn films during flights. The films will incur an addi- to kill himself.

Cayaya said the teenager tional cost, of course. The idea is not to show the films on the screens at the back of the seats, but on smart knew the river well and would have been aware that it is phone devices or digital tablets.

Ryanair has stated it is now looking for an ADSL swarming with red piranhas provider to supply an internet network to planes in the at this time of year.

He added that Oscar was air. thought to be drunk. The 14inch fish have razor sharp teeth and hunt in packs to strip their prey of flesh.

They are known to devour large snakes and even jaguars in minutes. Fatal attacks on humans are rare.

But swimmers at a river beach in Brazil were attacked by hundreds of piranhas in September.

AIR-PORN ACTION

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Friday, December 9, 2011

THE SUPREME TASTE OF SPAIN

KAAREN RAGLAND has a Supreme reason for wanting to come back to Spain.

The former Motown princess performed in Madrid with Supremes legend Mary Wilson back in 1978… .and fell in love with tapas!

She’ll get a chance to renew her acquaintanceship with Spanish food when The Sound of the Supremes come to the Orihuela Costa Resort Hotel on December 17, courtesy of Heatwave Promotions.

Kaaren came onto the Supremes scene in the late ‘70s at the time the original group split up.

And for the last 22 years, the Los Angeles-based singer has been touring the world as leader of the Sounds of the Supremes – a spin-off of the smash-hit Motown trio fronted by Diana Kaaren (centre) with Ross.

Kathy and Althea In an exclusive interview with The Courier, Kaaren recalled: ‘’We started The Sounds of the Supremes in 1989 as a spin-off of the youngest former members of the group because audiences wanted to continue to hear the group and experience the show with harmonies, choreography etc.

“The remaining two original members were understandably performing solo shows primarily. I worked with Mary Wilson for over eight years from 1977, though we have now lost touch. She lives in Las Vegas we travelled quite extensiveand I still reside in Los ly , as we do now, but you Angeles.’’ would stay in places for Looking back to those weeks instead of days as early days of her own career, tours seem to do now. We Kaaren added: “It was all had some fairly interesting very new to me when I joined venues - playing the outback in 1977 - just out of school and being thrust into the rock in Australia was like being in ‘n’ roll world. In those days the Wild West!

Motown queen Kaaren’s love affair with tapas

“We actually came to Madrid at that time to do a big television show. It was the first time I had eaten tapas and I loved it. ‘’Then I visited the Costa Blanca on holiday in the 90’s. Loved that, too. My husband and I drove all

over.’’

Kaaren’s Sounds of the Supremes colleagues Kathy Merrick and Althea Burkhalter have contrasting backgrounds.

In the 80s, Kathy was a member of Shades of Lace, a well-regarded soul group

on Polygram Records.

She also sang with Boz Scaggs for several years and later with James Ingram and also Johnny Gill from New Edition as well as others.

Althea sang on Sun Records in the ‘80s. She

performed in Atlantic City as well as Las Vegas, where she had her own show. She worked at the MGM Grand, Mirage, Bally’s Hilton etc and was also a member of Checkmate Sonny Charles’ group, The Emeralds.

Prior to joining the Supremes, Kaaren sang in various clubs in the Los Angeles area. ‘’I also worked as an actress in TV and on the stage - in plays as well as musicals.

Of all the Supremes hits, which does Kaaren like best? ‘’I love the Motown reparatory,’’ she says. ‘’Someday We’ll Be Together is my personal favourite.

Somewhat surprisingly, all three girls are married and Kaaren admits: ‘’It isn’t easy.

Kathy has the hardest balancing job as her daughter is about to go to college next year and her husband is the drummer for Earth, Wind and Fire and is often on the road himself.’’

A Supreme challenge, if ever there was one…

-DONNA GEE

SEE ADVERT: Page 13

STAR-SPANGLED XMAS

Harlequin girls sparkle in seasonal opener

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FOLLOWING the highly successful performances of An Evening with Andrew Lloyd Webber, tickets are now on sale for Melody Makers International’s next production. An Evening with Disney will feature two concerts on January 28 at the Orihuela Costa Resort Hotel in La Zenia. The children’s choir, Cantemos!, will feature, as will popular music from Disney films and cartoons. Musicians will fly in from the UK to take part, and the whole event will be conducted by Nigel Hopkins. Matinee at 2pm, evening at 8pm. Tickets are €10 from Orihuela Costa Resort Box Office, 966 760 800, or CallNet Internet Cafe, La Zenia, 966 761 171.

SPANGLES kicked off a busy Christmas season with their traditional Christmas with Spangles concert in Los Alcázares last Friday, featuring guest singer, Barrington.

The concert was a complete sell-out, starting with some old and new favourite songs - including the two that won them the 2011 title of champion barbershop chorus of Spain and Portugal. Fénix and Viva quartets followed Spangles, with Barrington acting as MC. After the interval, Barrington entertained the audience with some great hit songs from the Motown era, including tributes to Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie and Marvin Gaye.

Spangles returned for a finale of Christmas songs, featuring Campana Sobre Campana in Spanish for the very first time, and taking the opportunity to reveal their new Harlequin-style costumes. The evening was rounded off by mince pies, mulled wine and more singing at the bar La Zona.

Spangles also recently starred at the EuroNavidad celebrations at Centro Las Claras in Los Alcázares, ending the festivities by singing for the Scandinavian Feast of Santa Lucia (Saint Lucy).

Spangles Christmas bookings include: Sunday, 11 December - Dos Mares shopping centre, from 1.15pm; Novo Carthago Restaurante in Los Urrutias from 4.00pm.

December 16 - La Iglesia de Santo Domingo in Cartagena.

Spangles have released a CD called Pure Gold, which includes their two winning contest songs and many audience favourites. At €8, it makes an ideal Christmas present. Call 968 432 525 or 968 334 527 to order your copy.

Spangles welcome new members and if you’re looking to make new friends and enjoy singing, they rehearse at Las Claras every Thursday from 10.30am to 1.00pm.

For bookings or information, call Lyn on 968 432 525 or Anthea on 968 334 527 or visit www.spangleschorus.com.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

The after-life: I’m just dying to know I’M feeling distinctly uncomfortable right now… and so would anyone whose latest supporters are a prominent Funeral Plan company.

Take a look at the sponsors of this page. I should be dead chuffed that Golden Leaves feel I’m worth a box seat on their voyage to the after-life. A wooden box, presumably.

But, apart from wondering what happens to those leaves when my own Tree of Life is uprooted, there’s something a tad uncomfortable about my scribblings being linked with a dying trade.

Ironically, the funeral business is very much alive…on the rise, in fact, according to I HAVE to applaud that Mike Thornton, a professioncampaign to collect zillions al undertaker who is now a of plastic bottle tops to consultant for Golden finance little Aitana Boiz’s Leaves. Apparently there trip to America for the was a dip in sales a while heart and lung transplant back because so many lives she desperately needs. were sacrificed prematurely The whole of Spain in the ravages of two World seems to be involved… Wars. well, almost everyone, anyBut these days, it seems way. And now the charity- that the burial business is mad expat community has more like Opportunity Box. weighed in with its own How can she joke about crusade to help raise the death, do I hear you ask? reported €200,000 needed Thirty years living in Bury for Aitana’s surgery in (yes, Bury) taught me that Boston. humour is the best way to But in a country which deal with such a grave (pun leads the world in recent intended) subject as our sporting achievement, inevitable departure from this wouldn’t it save an awful world. lot of work if Spain’s capTake Bury Football Club, tain Iker Castillas and his for instance. They have a mega-rich World cemetery behind their stadiChampion footballers had um which I swear used to be a whip-round and perhaps deliberately targeted by chucked in a couple of some players (maybe still is). hours wages apiece?

I used to go there occaAdd the odd set’s worth sionally in the hope of seeing of readies from tennis idol a shot sail over the stands Rafael Nadal’s €5 million into the cemetery to a chorus tournament earnings this from the fans of “Dead ball!’’ year and the pot would They say there’s no point finance half a dozen in taking life too seriously Aitanas.

It is, of course, possible because not a single person that the football heroes of will ever get out of it alive.

Real Madrid and Barcelona Nor a married one, for that have indeed coughed up matter.

There is an awful lot about big-time - in which case I retract every cynical word. our existence that we don’t But can you imagine any know and, like many people, soccer agent NOT making I’ve spent my entire life wondering what it’s all about. the most of the situation?

Playing a part in Aitana’s future

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Why are we here? Who or what created life? Is religion nonsense – and if not, which one of them is right?

The one thing I am certain of is that life was not created just by chance.

The greatest minds and the greatest inventors in these days of electronic wizardry cannot take raw materials (not existing cells) and turn them into a living organism, however tiny.

So no one can convince me it all developed from inanimate particles following some theoretic ‘Big Bang’.

I’m not religious, but someone once outlined a theoretic situation to me which proves that the beauty of nature did not just ‘happen’.

Imagine you are the first person to land on the planet Grumpyoldgran. You leave

your spacecraft, stumble across the rocky, barren, soulless landscape…and suddenly you see something lying in the dust. It’s a transistor radio!

Someone has been here before, you assume. No, not assume. You KNOW – because a transistor radio cannot create itself. Even with a Big Bang.

And yet you believe that, for example, an oren like the eye, which is a thousand (maybe a million) times more complex than a transistor radio, created itself! That’s what science is telling us, unless I have misunderstood the so-called experts.

We are supposed to believe there is no creator; that all the wonders of nature and the phenomenon of existence itself are simply the result of random mutation

from nothing..

Each question one asks inspires a dozen more. But to me, there is no question that being on this Earth is more than a matter of life and death.

With the increasing pain that accompanies the ageing process, I often wonder whether dying young is a reward, rather than the premature cutting off of a life.

Young people rarely feel the ravages of persistent pain – whilst suffering becomes almost obligatory as the clock runs down and the hands of time clog up with arthritis.

Is it any surprise that I sometimes think old age is a bizarre punishment for hanging about for so long.

It’s nice to know when you’re not wanted. But then, who wants to reach 100 apart from a 99-year-old cricketer, that is?

The reality of life is that

creakies like me are coffin dodgers as much as coffee codgers.

I like to think that, just as I wake from my dreams each morning into what I regard as the REAL world, my last breath will coincide with my awakening into the truth about existence.

And that my late parents, family and friends will be there to greet me. But it’s all just hope...

That’s why I envy Jehovah’s Witnesses, who don’t just hope there is a better life ahead for them they are SURE of it.

Well, things can’t get much worse than spending half your life having doors slammed in your face!

All the Witnessses I have met have been sweet, humble souls - the last people I would pour scorn on.

Whatever one’s beliefs,

intolerance of another person’s view is unacceptable unless they preach hatred, of course.

And sadly, there are growing number of extremists doing just that.

Which brings me back to where I started - feeling uncomfortable.

So I’ll just go on trying to fathom out the mystery of life ...and hope the stress of it won’t be the death of me.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Friday, December 9, 2011

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Friday, December 9, 2011

A comedy of errors 'DO you know what I fancy to get me into the Christmas spirit?' Mrs S said to me the other day.

'Surprise me,' I replied.

'I think you are wonderful,' she cooed.

'Really?' I said, blushing with pleasure.

'No!' she snapped. 'But you did ask me to surprise you.'

'And that's exactly what she's like,' I complained to Dave the barman when I popped into the pub that evening.

'She knows I can't compete with her at mind games. Why does she do it?'

'Bitter?' suggested Dave.

'Why not,' I said holding out my empty beer glass.

'No,' said Dave. 'Maybe Mrs S is feeling bitter.'

'But why would she?' I said. 'I spend every spare moment I have with her.'

Dave thought for a moment. 'No you don't.

You spend every spare moment you have with me.'

At that point, a stranger sitting at the bar butted in. 'I couldn't help overhearing your conversation especially as I've been waiting nearly 20 minutes to be served.'

'Sorry, sir,' said Dave, sliding the solitary bowl of damp nuts along the bar top. 'It's just that my friend here is having marital problems. ‘What's more important, helping a fellow human being in need or satisfying a selfish stranger's thirst?'

The guy at the bar thought for a moment.

'Why, serving me a pint with a whisky chaser, of course.'

'And quite right, too,' said Dave, reaching over the bar top and slapping him on the back. 'I can't afford to lose any more customers because of my seemingly off-hand manner.'

I decided to return home. 'Before you go,' said the stranger at the bar. 'Just two words

'I went to five dog kennels and they said there's no such breed as a poinsetia. So I've bought you a plant instead...'

of advice if your missus starts acting up.

Retail therapy. It works every time.'

'Thank you, Father,' I said. 'I really must get to church more often. Your sermons must be most illuminating.'

Reciting the words 'retail therapy' over and over (just in case I forgot), I ran all the way home, gave Mrs S a big hug and declared: 'Get your coat on, luv, I'm taking you to the pound shop. Buy whatever your heart desires.'

Mrs S declined my offer. 'As I told you at the start of this column, I wish for only one thing to put me into the Christmas spirit . . .'

Minutes later, I was on the phone to Dave the barman. 'I love that Mrs S,' I said.

'She has such simple needs. You'll never guess what it is she wants. Would you believe . . . a poinsetia.'

I heard Dave chuckling. 'What's so funny?'

I asked.

'The priest has just told me the joke about the nun and the . . . but that's not important

right now. Tell me, my friend and best customer, what is a poinsetia?'

'Dave,' I sighed. 'You need to get out of that pub more often. There's a whole new world out there.'

First thing next morning, I kissed Mrs S and set off on my mission to purchase a poinsetia. I was out the whole day.

'Sorry to have been so long, luv,' I said when I got home. 'But my efforts have been fruitless.

'I went to five dog kennels and they each said there's no such breed as a poinsetia. So I've bought you a plant instead.'

Later, I told Dave the barman of my shame. 'I must have been off school the day we did nouns,' I groaned. 'I just cannot name things with any degree of success.'

Dave laid a consoling hand on my shoulder. 'And that was why we had to disband the pub quiz team. We were rubbish.'

'That about sums us up,' I concurred.

And it was true. Our pub team was the laughing stock of the quiz league.

Whatever the subject, we four dopes invariably responded not only with the incorrect answer but with the wrong reply cloaked in a mantle of stupidity.

Our responses were forged in the fires of foolishness and hammered into shape on the anvil of ineptitude.

Word soon got round about our comic awfulness.

Our team built up a following of sadistic supporters who loved nothing better than to guffaw at our lamentable efforts until tears sprang from their eyes and their thighs became sore from constant slapping.

Ours was no longer just a lousy quiz team. We had assumed the dubious status of a cheap cabaret act, a quartet of comedians led by yours truly, whose general knowledge was nearly nil.

I knew virtually nothing about everything -- and I was still cleverer than the others.

'No you weren't,' argued Dave the barman. 'I knew a bit more than you.'

'Oh, yeah? I said. 'Who was it who said the largest mammal in the world was a pregnant elephant?'

Dave shrugged. 'That could have been me,' he admitted. 'But who was it who answered that the stuff you pour on Christmas pudding to make it flame was paraffin?'

I shrugged back. 'Perhaps that was me but I've just had a great idea. Why don't we re-form our quiz team?

After all, it's been a while since we were thrown out of the league. Maybe we've all acquired a bit more intelligence now.'

'Good idea,' said Dave the barman. 'Let's phone the other two guys. You call up Clueless Colin and I'll give Bonehead Bernie a bell.'

Friday, December 9, 2011

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Friday, December 9, 2011

THE SPANISH PRESS

MASS GRAVE MAY BECOME MUSEUM El Pais THE Valle de los Caídos (Valley of the Fallen), a massive monument to Franco’s victory in the Spanish Civil War, about 50km north of Madrid, may be turned into a museum of historical memory and a place of reconciliation, not confrontation.

Buried underneath the huge, dark cross adorning the monument are 34,000 bodies, making the area Spain’s largest mass grave. Experts have said that should the bodies be dug up it would be impossible to identify many and return them to their families for proper burial.

The Socialists were behind the initiative to remodel the famous Franco mausoleum, whereas the Popular Party, which won the November elections, opposes any changes to the Valle de los Caídos, easily identified from a great distance because of the cross that dominates the complex.

A committee of experts has been working since May on plans to change the Valle de los Caídos.

Ramón Jáuregui, the prime minister’s cabinet secretary, has asked the incoming government of Mariano Rajoy not to put the initiative in a back drawer. “This is not an act of anachronism, or symbolism, or partisanship. It is a political necessity, and act of justice towards the victims,” said Jáuregui.

A few months ago the dictator’s daughter, Carmen Franco (pictured left) told the committee that she wanted her father’s body to remain where it is, but the group does not consider her wishes to be binding. It does, however, await a verdict from the Catholic Church, since the Valle de los Caídos includes a basilica hewn from the rock that functions as a place of worship.

Most of the committee members believe the only way to change the essential meaning of Valle de los Caídos is to transfer Franco’s remains elsewhere. Only three out of the 12 members disagree.

The Valley of the Fallen...34,000 bodies are buried here

Informacion

has Being, Jorge Cabre of g ldin bui the announced the five new law courts in ieja, province - in Torrev and ia Llir da, Orihuela, Novel ll. gre ma ssa Ma

A YOUNG killer whale was flown to the Canary Islands from the Netherlands last week to take up residence in the Loro Park aquarium. However, conservationists opposed the move and called for the whale to be released.

The carefully orchestrated move involved the 1,400kg (3,085lb) female orca named Morgan being lifted on a hammock and transferred to a special transport box. More than 50 trainers, handlers and other workers were involved.

Morgan, who is estimated to be about three, weighed only 400kg (880lb) when she was rescued in shallow waters off the Dutch North Sea coast in June 2010.

Originally the plan was to nurse her back to health before releasing her, but experts later decided she had little chance of survival in the wild unless her natal pod, or family, could be identified.

Analysis of her vocal patterns showed only that she was from Norwegian waters.

Fewer than 50 orcas are held in captivity worldwide and the bulk of them are owned by SeaWorld in the United States. Loro Parque has four orcas on loan from SeaWorld that Morgan will join. Morgan cannot be transferred to the United States, any offspring she has may be.

The idea of introducing captive whales into the wild became popular after the 1993 film Free Willy.

However, real life releases have a mixed record at best.

Keiko, the star of Free Willy, was released after 20 years in captivity. He died after only two months.

Though the Free Morgan Coalition says it will continue to seek Morgan’s release, it concedes her transfer to Spain is a major blow.

Experts agree that chances of a successful release decline the longer an orca is exposed to humans.

GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ROUNDABOUT GIRLS LADIES of the night have become a regular sight on the roundabouts of the Costa Blanca. Their scant clothes and welcoming waves immediately give away their profession. But, they may soon be ordered to cover up, not for modesty but for safety, with fluorescent waistcoats.

Highway prostitutes working outside a town in northern Spain have been ordered to wear reflective vests to make them visible to passing traffic and reduce the risk of accidents.

Women touting for customers on a rural highway outside Els Alamus near Lleida in Catalonia have been told to don the fluorescent bibs or pay fines of 40 euro under road traffic laws.

Police claim the sex workers on the LL-11 road are not being specifically ldThe budget for the bui targeted because of what miling work will exceed 1.5 they do but because they lion euros. are posed a danger to drivers.

The areas chosen The prostitutes are in rkwo t hes hig those with the breach of a 2004 law, which t tha loads, and it is hoped states pedestrians on com l wil rk wo building major highways and hard mence early next year. shoulders must wear the high visibility garments.

w la e th f o m r a w lo s End to Spain THE legal system in with is notoriously slow, rs to cases often taking yea come to court. be However, things may r in tte be t ge to t ou ab Councillor for Alicante.

WellJustice and Social

Blow for whale campaigners as Morgan moves to Spain

Friday, December 9, 2011

A mammoth chance of life THE discovery of marrow inside the thigh bone of woolly mammoth remains in Siberia has led scientists to believe they can bring the species back to life.

Global warming has thawed ground in eastern Russia that is usually almost permanently frozen, leading to the discovery of a number of frozen mammoth remains, including the thigh bone with intact DNA. Scientists believe the discovery means it may be possible to clone a woolly mammoth within five years.

Teams from Russia and Japan will launch joint research next year aimed at recreating the giant mammal.

By replacing the nuclei of egg cells from an elephant with those taken from the mammoth’s marrow cells, embryos with mammoth DNA THE Spanish royal family has almost always had a can be produced. squeaky clean image, tarred only by the recent divorce Any embryos produced of the Infanta Elena. However, the husband of Princess will be implanted into Cristina, the King’s youngest daughter, may be about elephant wombs for gestato change public opinion of the popular family. tion. Elephants and woolly Three Valencia officials were questioned on Friday in mammoths are close relaconnection with public contracts awarded to a compatives. ny run by Iñaki Urdangarin.

Woolly mammoths became The Noos Institute, which is officially a non-profit extinct about 10,000 years firm, made 3.7 million euros from the Valencia governago. But the discovery in ment between 2003 and 2006 for organising sports and August in Siberia has tourism events. The anti-corruption attorney’s office is increased the chances of a investigating claims that Noos made profits way in successful cloning. excess of the real cost of the fairs.

So, thanks to global warmNoos is suspected of overcharging on its invoices ing, woolly mammoths could and later channelling money to companies controlled again inhabit the planet.

by Urdangarin and his partner Diego Torres, who has been charged with misappropriating public funds.

Royal hubbie in the dock

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Michael Barrymore admits cocaine possession The 59-year-old was held at 4.30am on November 22 after a Citroen DS3 hit a kerb in Acton, west London.

The TV personality, born Michael Parker, was held after officers on routine patrol discovered the scene at the junction of The Vale and Dordrecht Road.

He admitted possessing cocaine during an appearance at Ealing Magistrates' Court today. A second charge, of being drunk and disorderly, was withdrawn.

He was fined a total of £780 for the offence.

Barrymore appeared shaky as he entered the west London court dressed in a dark suit, white shirt and maroon tie. He watched proceedings closely as prosecutor Sally Peters told of his behaviour on the day of his arrest.

Police officers had approached him after their attention was drawn to a vehicle parked on the side of the road which had accident damage, she said.

Asked who had been driving the vehicle, he replied "I am not answering you", the court heard. Then, launching into an angry tirade to the officers, he went on: "Don't you think I've had enough ******* **** from you lot over the years? I know the law."

Arrested and taken to a police custody suite, he tried to conceal what looked like a white substance in his mouth, Ms Peters said.

"He refused to spit it out, was strip-searched and a rock of

cocaine was found in his pocket," she told the court.

A drug test found him positive for the class A drug.

Barrymore's lawyer, Richard Gowthorpe, reminded the court that the quantity of the drug involved had been described as "a very small amount" and that the entertainer had apologised to the police for his behaviour.

While he now had a criminal conviction, his client had entered the court a man of good character, he noted.

"In many ways it's a sad day for Mr Parker to be before the courts and he's pleaded guilty to this offence," he said.

"Certainly he will be punished to a degree by the conviction itself."

Barrymore had urged his lawyer to point out that the evening in question had been "exceptional" and that "there was an exceptional set of circumstances" at the time, Mr Gowthorpe added.

"This behaviour is wholly out of character. This is not part of a general lifestyle that Mr Parker is living.

"He's addressing the problem, he's addressing the temptation and there's no present drug use."

The court heard that Barrymore had been seeing a drug worker since the night of the incident and was making "very good progress" Drug worker Andrew De Cruze said: "Steps have been put in place to support Mr Parker in any way we can.

"He's undergoing cognitive behavioural therapy. It's something Mr Parker has found very helpful and is willing to engage further in that process."

Barrymore was also addressing his alcohol use and had been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, Mr De Cruze told the court. "I would say Mr Parker is doing everything he can do address the issues," he added.

Chair of the bench Moira Edmonds told Barrymore he would be fined £680 for the offence, plus £85 for prosecution costs and a £15 victim surcharge.

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT...

This Smells Odd When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Not Me! The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewellery store in Liege said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

A Little Gas A Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders (about €240) for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde, the Netherlands.

The vet had been trying to convince a farmer that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a "four-legged

flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.

Damage to the farm was assessed at €80,000. The cow was unharmed.

The Lottery Californian Bill Helko was thrilled when he had the winning numbers in the local lottery, the first prize being $412,000.

He straight away went and ordered a Porsche, booked a family holiday in Hawaii and had a champagne dinner with his wife and friends at an expensive Hollywood restaurant.

When he went to pick up the winnings he found that 9,097 others had also won first prize and his share of the jackpot was $45.

Check It Out Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.

The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.

Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.

The judge discovered a

packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

Spelling Errors and Wrong Notes A man walked into the downtown Bank of America and on the back of a deposit

slip wrote, "this iz a stikkup.

Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, the man began to worry that someone may have seen him write the note and might call the police before he could reach the teller.

So, the criminal left the

Bank of America and walked across to the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting in line for several minutes there, he handed his note to a teller.

After reading it, the teller determined that this robber was perhaps a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

She told him that because his note was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, she could not honour his demand. He would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo withdrawal slip or go back to the Bank of America.

Feeling defeated, the man said he understood and left.

The Wells Fargo teller promptly called the police, who arrested the man a few minutes later--still waiting in line at the Bank of America.

May I Take Your Order?

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50am flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk tuned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

The Perfect Scam Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam: A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people will present these checks to their banks. The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."

Thanks For Nothing An ambulance was called to the aid of James Ritchie, thirty, who was lying injured on a road outside Odell, Illinois. As it arrived on the scene, the ambulance skidded on the snow-covered roadway, then struck and killed Ritchie.

Friday, December 9, 2011

15

The Jacques of all tirades

DO you remember Jacques Delors? He was public enemy number one in the UK when as European Commission boss between 1985 and 1995 -- and the focus for a lot of antiEuropean feeling.

The Euro was his baby, and he’s now upset to see it crawling out of its pram and making a mess all over the place.

You see, Mr.Delors has let the screaming cat out of the bag, scratching everything in sight, after telling a British newspaper that the Euro was doomed to fail from the start, because it could only work within a single European state.

That was, of course, what made so many people in UK want to oppose it -- but they were called nutters and little Englanders because that surely could not have been the consequence of joining the Euro!

Mr.Delors, in the later stages of his life, seems to be behaving as if he is giving a final confession to a priest as part of his last rites. Delors admitted that anti-Euro campaigners like the Vulcan-looking John Redwood were right all along in believing that UK sovereignty would be seriously compromised if it joined the Euro. What a shame for John Major all those years ago that he just didn’t get it, and chose to go to war with his Tory Eurosceptics which split the party and led them into 13 long, hard years of opposition.

There was only one winner in last week’s ridiculously overblown rumpus over Jeremy Clarkson’s comments

about the striking UK public sector workers. And that was, of course, Clarkson himself. Loads of great publicity for his annual Xmas DVD and his new projects, and his ‘joke’ about shooting the strikers was clearly that, even though it didn’t exactly have me rolling in the aisles.

Some 20,000 people had nothing better to do than complain about it, which meant that 60 million didn’t. The complainers merely fuelled Clarkson’s ego, so it all backfired from their point of view.

I’d venture to suggest that a lot of people would have gone along with his opinions, but I wonder how many of those 20,000 plus have ever bothered to engage with their elected representatives on the issues that really matter?

Probably not a lot.

I’d go further and guess that many of them don’t even bother to vote, unless it happens to be for a second-rate celebrity on The X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing. They should have quietly let Clarkson spout his unforgettable hot air, rather then giving him an inkling of respectability.

I wonder what sort of festive season Red Ken is going to have? I’m talking about Ken Livingstone, the blood-curdling socialist leader of Greater London Council in the ’80s, when he was fighting hammer and tongs with Margaret Thatcher.

I suggest that Ken, whilst he’s putting up his tinsel and opening Christmas cards from his Latin American dictator pals like Hugo Chavez in Venezuela, might just be wondering if his political career is going down the pan.

Despite all the caricatures and media laughs at his expense, blustering Boris Johnson has a surprisingly healthy advantage in the surveys in London ahead of next year’s mayoral election.

There’s something about Boris that has connected with those who live in the capital, and as David Cameron would vouch, the blond bombshell is nobody’s puppet. The fact that he’s prepared to shoot from the hip and is one of the

few characters left in mainstream British politics, does make him an attractive commodity.

Livingstone used to have that mantra of course, and he’s been keen to point out that he didn’t like Gordon Brown, which is almost like a badge of honour for Labour politicians these days. But next year’s election is almost the last-chance saloon for Ken to try to return to big time politics.

If he fails, he’ll have the nauseating sight of watching his rival dancing around in the plush seats during the Opening Ceremony at the 2012 Olympics, as well as making a speech at an event that Ken was an instrumental factor in bringing to the capital.

Or, perhaps he’ll be off on a summer holiday to Caracas?

Why, if the UK coalition government is meant to be so unpopular, are the Conservatives two per cent ahead of Labour in the latest opinion polls? Perhaps the British people are cleverer than some politicians give them credit for, and realise that some tough medicine is needed to get the country through the current difficulties.

Just as likely, though, is the fact that they don’t like Ed Miliband and Ed Balls behaving like a pair of panto dames, pretending that Labour had nothing to do with the crisis, and then having the nerve to suggest that they have all the answers for Europe, as well as the UK. Labour needs to do a hell of a lot better than this, as David Miliband quietly waits in the wings.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

THE UK NEWS

Dickens of a job to see what image is

YOU SMASHER! Luxury cars written off

A FLEET of high-performance cars, including eight Ferraris, has been involved in one of the most expensive accidents ever after an astonishing multi-car pile-up in Japan.

Police said three Mercedes Benz cars and a Lamborghini Diablo were also involved in the massive crash at the weekend on the Chugoku Expressway, in the country’s south-west.

Witnesses reported hearing a “tremendous noise” just a few moments before the accident on the highway amid terrible driving conditions.

Miraculously, none of the drivers – the majority of them foreign car enthusiasts – were seriously hurt in the 14-vehicle smash but the bill will still be painful.

Such was the severity of the damage, several of the luxury cars have been written off, leaving their owners with the nightmare scenario of seeing their prized possessions turned into expensive scrap.

The total bill is expected to hit several million pounds. It is thought the crash occurred when the lead driver hit a central barrier after losing control of their Ferrari while trying to overtake in wet conditions.

The highway was closed for more than six hours.

in costliest crash ever

Daily Telegraph

The Sun WHAT the Dickens is this, you might ask?

It’s the Royal Mint’s brand-new £2 coin featuring the beardy face of legendary English writer Charles Dickens — made up from the titles of his most famous works.

It includes mentions of David Copperfield, Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol and Great Expectations.

The Royal Mint is releasing it to mark the 200th anniversary of the literary genius’s birth. An inscription around the edge reads: ‘Something Will Turn Up’ — a line from David Copperfield, said to have been Dickens’s favourite story.

Designer Matthew Dent said: “I wanted the coin to reference both the immense contribution Dickens has made to British literature and his iconic portrait.” The new £2 will come into use in the spring.

Bionic pussy safe

Daily Mirror

A CAT’S life was saved in a £6,000 ‘bionic’ operation after it broke three legs and punctured its lungs in a four-storey plunge.

Pet Sebastian was found by passers-by after falling from the window of his owner’s flat. He was taken to a vet in a ‘dreadful state’ and had surgery to put metal pins in his legs.

Owner Katrin Toots, 29, from Edgbaston, Birmingham, was covered by a pet insurance policy. She said: “He’s back running and jumping around now. And the window is shut.”

New to drink so Muslim boot girls walk Rhea Page

A GANG of Muslim girls who repeatedly kicked a young woman in the head walked free from court after a judge heard they were ‘not used to being drunk’ because of their religion.

The group screamed ‘kill the white slag’ while kicks rained in on 22-yearold Rhea Page as she lay motionless on the ground, the court heard.

Daily Mail The attackers - three sisters and their cousin - were told by a judge that normally they would have been sent to jail.

However, he handed the girls - all Somalian Muslims - suspended sentences after hearing that they were not used to alcohol because their religion

does not allow it.

Their victim was left with a bald patch after they pulled a chunk out of her hair during the attack on the High Street, Leicester.

Ambaro and Hibo Maxamed, both 24, their sister Ayan, 28, and cousin Ifrah Nur, 28, attacked Rhea, a care worker, as she walked to a taxi rank with her

boyfriend after a night out.

The victim was left so traumatised that she lost her job following repeated absences with stress and flashbacks, Leicester Crown Court was told.

The charge - assault occasioning actual bodily harm - carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison. The

Continued on Next Page

Friday, December 9, 2011

THE UK NEWS

CHRISTMAS IN THE SLAMMER Racist rant woman locked up for own safety

Daily Mail

Emma West during her tram rant

A WOMAN accused of launching a vile racist rant on a tram is to spend Christmas behind bars after she was remanded in custody for her own safety.

Magistrates took the decision to refuse Emma West’s bail application after they heard she had received death threats and that her address had been circulated on social networking sites Facebook and Twitter.

There were outbursts from supWhen Miss West was porters of Miss West, who shouted ‘treason’ as she arrested her partner told was denied bail at Croydon police there had been a number of death threats Magistrates’ Court.

Miss West, a 34-year-old made against her, Eka Ike, mother from New prosecuting, told the court.

After the decision to Addington, appeared before JPs charged with a racially remand Miss West in cusaggravated public order tody for her own safety supoffence in connection with a porters shouted ‘treason’ video that was heavily circu- and ‘we love you Emma, be strong’. lated on YouTube.

An earlier plea of not The former dental assistant bowed her head and guilty was rescinded and sobbed as three magistrates Miss West is still to enter a watched the footage, which plea. She will next appear has now been seen more at the same court on January 3 via a video link. than 11 million times online.

17

BB Paddy faces jail over brawl REALITY TV star Paddy Doherty is facing up to three years jail over a bare-knuckle brawl which police linked to an underworld shooting.

The 52-year old Celebrity Big Brother winner was left bloodied and bruised (right) with part of his ear bitten and hanging off after taking on his cousins Johnny and Dougie Joyce outside a PC World store in Manchester.

The brawl was filmed on a mobile phone and uploaded to YouTube and a witness was overheard baying for blood shouting: “Come you dirty Doherty b******, give it to him

Daily Mail Johnny, give to the dirty tramp.”

Doherty, who also featured in Channel 4 show My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, admitted affray after the brawl and had been expected to give evidence against his cousin Johnny, who was accused of causing him grievous bodily harm.

The GBH charges against Johnny Joyce, 21, were dropped and he too admitted a charge of affray.

Dougie Joyce’s plea to a lesser public order offence was accepted by the prosecution. All three will be sentenced in the New Year.

Footballer in sex-attack probe NOTTS COUNTY striker Lee Hughes has been arrested on suspicion of sexual assault.

The League One star was held after police were called to the team’s hotel in Croydon, south London, Saturday night.

The 35-year-old was taken into custody following the alleged incident involving a woman the night before his team’s FA cup fixture against Sutton United. He was later released on bail.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: “Police were called at approximately 11.10pm on Saturday December

The Sun

3 to a hotel in Purley Way, Croydon, following an allegation of sexual assault.

“A man, aged 35, was arrested on suspicion of sexual assault and taken into custody at a south London police station. He was subsequently bailed to a date in late January pending further investigation."

Notts County said it was aware that an allegation had been made. A statement said: “As this is a police matter, the club will be making no further comment.”

free after violent, booze-fuelled attack women were not charged with racial aggravation.

Victim Miss Page said: “I had gone for a drink after work and then I met my boyfriend for a couple more before heading home.

“We didn’t want to stay out too late so we went to get a taxi and all of a sudden I heard these women shouting abuse at me.

“We were just minding our own business but they kept shouting ‘white bitch’ and ‘white slag’ at me.

“When I turned around one of them grabbed my hair - then threw me on the ground.

That’s when they started kicking me.

“I was lying on the ground the whole time, crying and screaming. It was terrifying. I

thought they were going to kill me.

“I honestly think they attacked me just because I was white. I can’t think of any other reason.”

She suffered bruises and grazes to her head, back, legs and arms, as well as having clumps of hair pulled out.

The group all admitted assault occasio-

ning actual bodily harm and received six month suspended sentences.

Rhea said the sentence was 'disgusting'.

“It’s no punishment at all and sends out a message that it's okay to do that to someone,' she said. 'The attack has had a devastating effect on my life and they have just been allowed to get away with it.'

18

Friday, December 9, 2011

DECEMBER DELIGHTS

December heralds turkey and the poor, derided sprout. Eat fresh chestnuts while you can, enjoy a wide range of root veg, and get savvy with the sweet fruits of winter: satsumas, cranberries, quinces and pomegranates.

ROAST PHEASANT WITH CAVOLO NERO AND BACON Pheasant has a reputation as a tough, dry meat. The culprit is usually its age.

Farmed birds are killed young, but your game might have seen more days. The best way to deal with this possibility is slower, gentler cooking, such as in this pot roast, making this dish ideal for later in the season.

Ingredients 4 tbsp olive oil 2 whole pheasants, plucked and drawn 100g dry-cured streaky bacon, cubed or sliced 12 small shallots, peeled and left whole 4 garlic cloves, crushed 3 sticks celery, roughly sliced 1 tsp salt 100ml (1 small glass) sweet wine, such as Madeira 1 tbsp tomato purée 1 tbsp soft butter 1 medium head cavolo nero (Italian cabbage), leaves removed from the stalks

Method 1. Heat the oil in a casserole or large pot with a lid, and brown the birds all over.

Remove and set aside, then fry the bacon briefly in the same pot until coloured. Add the shallots and fry quite briskly for 3-4 minutes,

allowing them to caramelise slightly. Add the garlic, celery, salt, wine, tomato purée and 200ml water, then return the pheasants to the pot, breast-side up. Bring to a simmer, cover and cook for about 1 hour. The bird is done when a leg can be tugged away from the breast with ease. Allow to rest in the juices for at least 10 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, heat the butter in a wide-bottomed frying pan and, when it is fizzing nicely, add the cavolo nero and cook until just wilted.

3. To serve, carve or joint the bird and serve it on the cabbage. Spoon over the bacon, celery and shallots.

PARSNIP CRISPS These addictive parsnip crisps are delicious and so easy to make. Try to make lots so that your friends don't go hungry!

Ingredients 600g parsnips 2 tsp sunflower oil

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 160°C/fan140°C/ gas 3.

Using a swivel blade peeler, peel long strips from the parsnips (discarding the peel) and place in a large bowl with the sunflower oil. Season with pepper and toss well.

2. Arrange the parsnip strips in single layers on 3 baking trays. Roast in the oven for 25-30 minutes, turning halfway, until golden and crisp. Sprinkle with sea salt while warm and serve immediately.

FETA AND POMEGRANATE SALAD

This is stunning, and the flavours are a real wake-up call: salty feta; sweet, crunchy pomegranate seeds; and bitter leaves and herbs.

Ingredients 2 pomegranates, halved 1 red onion, finely diced 3 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp red wine vinegar 200g vegetarian feta 2 large chicory heads, 1 red and 1 white, large leaves roughly torn Small bunch of fresh mint, leaves picked

Method 1. Working over a bowl, knock out the seeds from each pomegranate half by smacking the skin quite decisively with the back of a wooden spoon. Pick out any strands of pith that escape. Mix the seeds with the onion, oil and vinegar and season to taste. Set aside for 30 minutes, as the maceration will create a dressing.

2. Slice or break the feta into bite-size pieces and add to the pomegranate. Add the chicory to the bowl along with most of the mint leaves, gently combine and transfer to a serving dish.

Serve garnished with the remaining mint leaves.

19

Friday, December 9, 2011

Alfonsa’s Aromas

Alfonsa with her great-granddaughter

BY the early fifties Santos, Alfonsa's husband, had recovered his health enough to work and was offered a job with a home, in San Juan, Alicante.

Very excited at the prospect of employment and a home of their own, with privacy, off they went. As they arrived at their new abode, with two toddlers in

Spinach Omelette (tortilla de espinacas)

tow, they were horrified to find that it was no more than a two roomed shack!

However, they managed to make it into a home, of sorts, and wrote to their family in La Mancha, saying that the house was perfect.

Within a month the ailing in-laws

1 day old barra (Spanish bread) Red and white Spanish sausages (salchichas rojas y blancas) Amount preferred.

Diced pork (tocino magroso) Large spring onions (ajos tiernos) to taste Break up the bread into small pieces.

Wet with warm water until soft and squeeze out excess water with hands. Place aside for later Fry the cut up sausages with the onions and meat When almost cooked add bread and fry together, stirring, until the bread is cooked and golden.

arrived, without warning, wanting to live with Alfonsa and Santos in the lovely big new home!

So life carried on with Alfonsa, yet again, cooking and caring for the now, ever expanding family..Simple, quick and, of course, economical dishes were a must.

sugar (approx. 1 spoon) to take out the acidic taste.

Cook together for approx 15 mins.

This dish is often served with Spanish omelette, potatoes, or just with fresh bread used to dip into the delicious sauce.

Garlic mayonnaise (ali-oli)

Chicken in tomato (pollo con tomate)

1 large onion Half a kilo of fresh spinach or 1 packet frozen spinach 1 handful of raisins 3 medium eggs

1 egg Sunflower oil (aceite de girasol) 1-3 garlic cloves according to taste Salt

Boil fresh spinach until tender. (If using frozen cook on its own till liquid evaporates) Fry onion. When onion is almost cooked add spinach and stir for a while before adding the raisins.

Cook for a minute or so and then add to beaten egg in a bowl.

Mix well, salt to taste and return to frying pan.

Migas de pan (breadcrumb meal) (believe it or not DELICIOUS)

Peel and finely dice the garlic and place into blender bowl Add beaten egg, a little salt and begin to blend adding a little oil at a time until it's the correct consistency

Half a chicken.

Half a rabbit (or 1 chicken if preferred) 1kg. tomatoes Sugar and salt.

Fry tomatoes, peel and de-seed.

Fry all the meat pieces with little salt and seasoning to taste, until completely cooked.

Place tomatoes and meat together in pan. Add enough

20

Friday, December 9, 2011

Tormented to death...for 30 years POLICE and council officials were condemned by a Manchester coroner on Wednesday after a harmless man was tormented to death following a vicious hate campaign spanning 30 YEARS. The Sun reported that tragic David Askew, (pictured), who had learning difficulties, collapsed with a heart attack as he confronted yobs outside his home.

The 64-year-old had been bullied by THREE generations of feral youths who cruelly nicknamed him Dopey Dave.

His worried mum Rose called cops 88 times, but senior officers deemed the problem "low priority" — saying Mr Askew was partly to blame for giving his tormentors cigarettes to go away.

And neighbourhood manager Mark Tunstall, who was in charge of community safety, never visited Mr Askew — even though his office was just 400 yards away.

Coroner John Pollard heard how Mr Askew, mental age just eight, died in March last year on his estate in Hattersley, Greater Manchester, despite making daily

CORONER CANES COPS AND COUNCIL OVER TRAGIC DAVID

pleas to senior local authority workers for help.

Mr Pollard recorded a verdict of unlawful killing at Trafford Coroners Court. He said he would write to the chief executive of Tameside Council and Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police for explana tions.

The coroner said: "I have noticed evidence of a quite staggering degree of inertia and complacency.

"Mr Tunstall's evidence put before me displayed a man quite clearly out of his depth in the job he was doing.

"The fact that there were 38 separate reports in a three-year period, as well as numerous unreported incidents, show how feral youths can bring misery to a decent and vulnerable family."

Thugs regularly threw eggs and bricks at the terraced home Mr Askew shared with Rose, 90, and his 62-year-old brother Brian, the inquest was told.

They also taunted the victim, telling him, "You're mental", kicked in his front door, broke windows, and took his money and cigarettes.

The coroner heard how Mr Askew died after confronting thugs who had upset a wheelie bin in his garden and tampered with Rose's mobility scooter.

Before his death, he had gone to the council every day for two months to complain about the yobs.

Yet the inquest heard Mr Tunstall had just one day's training and that officials at Tameside Council took a "relaxed" attitude towards the troubles.

DADS BARMY!

A FATHER had his finger bitten off in Wednesday in a brawl with another parent as they waited for their kids' nativity play to begin.

Finger bitten off as fathers scrap at kids’ nativity day

Parents intervened to pull the men apart as they fought at Harton Primary School, in South Shields before the children’s not witnessed by any of the children, who were preparing performance.

One witness, who did not for the play.

The fight broke out at wish to be identified, said: 1.50pm on '’The two men started to fight about in front of all the mums and Wednesday, while parents dads. One bit the finger off waited in a room at the the other and spat the blood school for the nativity to start.

Onlookers told of their horout like an animal.’’

The 32 year-old victim was ror after one bit the finger off taken to hospital, where his the other and “spat blood out hand was treated. A 39-year- like an animal”.

Another father, who witold man was arrested on suspicion of assault and nessed the fight, added: “We were all waiting in a room for bailed.

A spokesman for the the show to start. I’d got school said the incident was there early to make sure I got

a good seat.

“I heard a bit of noise from the back of the room and looked around to see what was happening. A man in a white hat stormed in and went for another dad.

"They were fighting and blood was flying. I didn’t see it, but I heard that a finger was bitten off.

“The fight was broken up by teachers quite quickly and the man in the hat disappeared.”

One mother said: “I can’t believe that it happened - a

Caught on camera: Woman stealing from boy’s grave

POLICE are hunting a woman who was captured on camera appearing to steal flowers from a schoolboy’s grave.

The images appear to show the woman kneel beside the family grave, put flower pots in a bag and walk off.

She was photographed at the grave of 11-year-old Robert Stringer, who died in a car accident in 1980, after the boy’s family installed a motionsensing camera in a tree.

"That’s why we installed the camera. I It followed a string of thefts of floral trib- want this woman prosecuted for the terrible utes at Rippleside Cemetery in Barking, things she’s done."

Essex. His family have released the pictures The taxi driver added: "It’s not the cost of in an attempt to track her down. the flowers it’s the principle. The police have Steve Rose, 37, of Walthamstow, who been very helpful but they told me she may installed the camera, said: “I was only six only get a warning.” when he died. My aunt, who died two years Robert’s aunt Kathleen Harris, 75, added: ago, never got over it.”

“I’m devastated because we have cared for “We have left signs asking them to stop this grave for the last 30 years. I’m so angry. stealing but that didn’t deter them. It’s just I want her to be named and shamed. She’s callous. a horrible woman and evil.

"Robert was a lovely lad and it was a terri“For her to come along and fill her boots ble tragedy. Potted plants and baskets start- like that is just wicked. What right has she ed to disappear on a regular basis. got to steal from that grave?”

school is not the time or place to be fighting.

“The kids might not have been there but they will have heard what happened and I’m sure they will all be affected.

“If you have a problem with someone deal with it in an adult way, not by fighting at a school.

“You can understand children fighting in the playground, but not parents.”

A spokesman for the school said: “We are assisting the police with their

enquiries and can confirm that the incident was not witnessed by any of the children, nor were they at risk at any time.”

A police spokesman said: “On Tuesday at about 1.50pm an incident occurred at Harton Primary School.

“There was a disturbance between two male parents, and one sustained an injury to his hand which required medical treatment.

“The other man was arrested by police for assault and released on bail.”

Caught on camera: 'Horrible' woman steals flowers from boy's grave

MEASLES ALERT From Page 2

a fever, runny nose, cough and a rash all over the body.

The disease kills up to two children for every 1,000 it infects, and can also cause pregnant women to have a miscarriage or premature birth.

In 2008, there were about 164,000 measles deaths worldwide - more than 95 percent of them in poor countries. ies have shown no connection.

Spain and Switzerland exclude unvaccinated children from school during measles outbreaks, but don't otherwise insist on vaccination.

NO WAY OUT FOR SERIAL KILLER BLACK From Page 3

been convicted. In 1994, he was found guilty of three unsolved child murders in the 1980s - those of 11-year-old Susan Maxwell, from the Scottish Borders, five-year-old Caroline Hogg, from Edinburgh, and Sarah Harper, 10, from Morley, near Leeds.

Detectives in England are reviewing the evidence against Black in connection with another schoolgirl's disappearance.

Jennifer's family were in court to see the killer sentenced. Andy and Pat Cardy heard Mr Justice Weatherup tell their daughter's killer he would be at least 89 before he would be considered for release.

The judge said: "Your crime was particularly serious. You subjected a vulnerable child to unpardonable terror and took away her life."

Paedophile Black was convicted of Jennifer's murder in October following a six-week trial at Armagh Crown Court.

Black, flanked by prison officers in the dock, was handcuffed before being led away.

The judge said of Jennifer's murder: "This was an act of sexual predation."

21

Friday, December 9, 2011

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

From raw deal to roar appeal

AS a biker I enjoyed the article Ride and Prejudice in last week’s paper, and I can certainly agree that the Spanish do indeed appear to be a nation of bike lovers.

I never get problems from my Spanish neighbours complaining about the noise as I work on and rev my 36 (and counting) motorbikes in the garage under my house. And, when out riding, alone or in a group, I have always found the Spanish to be extra friendly to bikers. I was therefore very surprised, out in the mountains with some biking mates a few years back, to be met by an apparently irate landlord flapping his arms furiously as we rode into the car park of a country bar.

It was just like being back in the UK in my younger days, when it was common for bikers arriving as a group to be turned away from pubs by landlords who assumed they were out to cause trouble.

But instead of turning us away, the Spanish landlord insisted that we should not park our bikes in the car park as it was starting to rain and urged us to put them on the undercover terrace of the bar.

And he hurriedly cleared tables to make space, so they wouldn’t get wet.

EASY RIDER, Torrevieja

Counting the cost of waiting for Telefonica

NIGHTMARE ON ORANGE ALERT

WE have now been without our home telephone for five weeks.

We have phoned and emailed our provider, BT, and have had a lot of difficulty getting an answer from them either by phone or email.

We are with BT through the Telefonica network lines and we know that the problem is with Telefonica.

We have had a response from BT’s San Miguel office saying they have reported the fault to the main office in Valencia - and saying that five weeks is unacceptable.

But the main office in Valencia has not contacted us at all.

Our neighbours, who are Telefonica customers, have been to the Telefonica shop in Guardamar and also phoned them directly - with little or no response.

A couple of people have Ken (back right) and Lynn Adams with Jose, widower of the late been told they will not be Laura Grewar, and two of his children charged for the last month but how can they be charged for a service they have not had?

In this day and age, to be without a phone is deplorable to say the least.

We are not the only ones THE Davila/Grewar Family Fund would like Sunday roast on November 27.

Debbie Glanville and her troupe, who without a phone service at to say a big thank you to the following peoraised the sum of 312 euros. the bottom of El Raso. But as ple: Lucy of The Christmas Shop, San Luis, Maryo and Katie of Puccini's, Cabo Roig, we have said, how can it take who so very invited the four children who raised a staggering 1,650 euros. five weeks to sort out?

Being president of our along on 19 November to have a ride on the Thanks to all staff - and not forgetting the community and the police Christmas train and to meet Father fabulous magician, Graeme Mykal, who gave coordinator of the Christmas, who presented them with his time free of charge.

Thank you so very much for your kindness Neighbourhood Watch for Christmas gifts. Their faces were an absolute the urbanisation, it is costing picture. Also, thank you for the photo- in supporting this worthwhile charity.

KEN and LYN ADAMS me a fortune in petrol and graphs.

Bill and Greg of Rincon de Burgos, El Fundraisers of The Davila/Grewar mobile phone charges.

Chaparral, who gave the family a superb Family Fund TONY BOWHAY, El Raso

Just Fund-erful! l

l

l l

I read with interest Donna Gee’s account of her experience at Torrevieja Hospital, and all the other stories, good and bad, that came in from readers. This is what happened when my husband needed emergency treatment at the same hospital.

He had just undergone major surgery in a private hospital after a tumour was discovered around one kidney. The tumour was missed originally by our local doctor and only a visit to a private doctor because I was worried and wanted a second opinion led to its discovery.

Three days after he was released from hospital, he was in so much pain it was clear something was wrong. We called an ambulance and he was rushed to Torrevieja Hospital, arriving around 12.30pm.

The ambulance drivers sent a form with him classing him as naranja (orange) alert, one down from an extreme emergency, red alert.

The receptionist told us he would be seen urgently but instead he was placed on a trolley in a corridor where he remained until 7.30am.

During this time he was in extreme pain and I kept asking when he would see a doctor.

It was only after the assortment of drunks and other walking wounded were seen to and my husband was the last one left that we were finally ushered in to see a doctor.

I explained he had had two major operations two weeks earlier, had staples from his chest to his lower stomach and also staples in his back where the kidney was removed, and that he could not pass urine.

She then realised that he was on naranja alert and put a catheter into him. In 20 minutes he had filled up three bags.

The doctor was apologetic and when she realised how ill my husband was she became more proactive.

However, it still took from 7.30am until 3.30pm for him to be found a bed.

I can understand that the staff were extremely stressed during a busy summer’s night in August, but it was nothing to the stress I suffered seeing my husband in agony on a trolley in the corridor getting worse and worse without anyone coming anywhere near him, except to tell me he must wait.

MARGARET TALBOT, Formentera

22

Friday, December 9, 2011

23

Friday, December 9, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: John wanted help in figuring out what his com- ADVICE: Tony wanted to stop OpenOffice from starting automatically puter was doing behind his back.

Hi Richard, we are get-

Hi Richard. I have Windows Vista on my laptop with the latest updates. I have my laptop on everyday all day but I'm not using it all the time. Recently I've been noticing that the hard drive is being accessed every couple minutes or so and I have no idea what could be running in the background to cause this but I realise this probably isn't good. What can I do to stop this so that my hard drive isn't getting worn out un-necessarily so, should I hibernate it? For some reason I never liked doing this as I thought it caused issues. Perhaps you can give me some ideas and explanations as to what to do, thanks.

Q

Hi John, your computer is always doing a number of things even when you have it turned on and are not using it, depending on what you have installed it may be checking for antivirus updates, checking that its hard drive is in order, downloading information used by the gadgets on the desktop, updating its error log and possibly a whole host of other things. The one thing you can be sure of is that it is not going to wear out your hard drive. As long as the performance of your computer hasn’t changed then you shouldn’t worry about it, if however, you find that your computer is slowing down (particularly when you are using it) then the reason for the hard drive access could be that it is using the hard drive as virtual memory and we should investigate adding some additional RAM to stop that from happening.

A

Mark wanted to know what to do when downloading files from the Internet

Q A

Hi Richard, What should I do: run or save or open when I’m downloading?

Hi Mark, it very much depends on what you are downloading. If for example you are downloading a picture sent to you by a family member then you might well want to “save” the download so that you can look at it again on your computer without downloading it again.

However if you are downloading a program that you intend to install, like AVG antivirus, then you might choose to “run” as you will probably not need to download the same file again.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q

ting a niggly problem in that the OpenOffice window opens when the computer is switched on, is there any way to stop this from happening?

Hi Tony, OpenOffice is set to automatically launch on start-up, however if you want to disable this functionality just do the following…

A

1. Open any of the Open Office applications, such as Writer.

2. Click the "Tools", then "Options" 3. Expand the "OpenOffice.org" drop-down section, then click “Memory" 4. Untick "Load OpenOffice.org During System Start-up" from the "OpenOffice.org Quickstarter" field.

5. Click "OK" to save the new Open Office start-up settings.

READERS TIP: Adrian had a tip for new laptop owners with built in webcams TIP: Richard, You may find this an interesting comment to pass on. I use Skype Video to communicate with my sister.

Last week she purchased a new laptop. On making contact I found that her picture was very poor and out of focus. I asked her to check that all the tape had been removed from over the microphone and camera.

The tape was still covering the camera lens. On removing the tape the picture became 100% perfect.

It wouldn't be difficult to miss something like this as there is so much protective covering on new equipment.

Best wishes, Adrian

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

24

Friday, December 9, 2011

Santa’s claws on the take SANTA dropped in early to a bar in Catral last weekend, but he wasn’t there to deliver presents, or even to sup a quick pint ahead of his busy season.

Going against tradition, Santa visited The Longs Bar to take presents away.

It wasn’t because staff and customers at The Longs Bar had been too naughty for presents this year, though, it was because they had been very, very good and were helping Santa prepare for his delivery to the Emaus Orphanage.

The Longs Bar customers donated sacks of

prezzies for Santa to give to the children at the orphanage. As a reward for their generosity, they joined in the early Christmas celebrations at The Longs Bar.

With the bar decked out in all its Christmas finery, including a beautiful tree, customers who arrived for a meal or drink donated presents and then enjoyed Christmas Carols sung by

the Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group.

It wasn’t long before customers joined the singing, with everyone belting out their favourite Carols at the top of their voices.

Bar owner Jane added to the festive atmosphere by handing out mince pies and brandy.

There’s another chance to hear the Cardenal Belluga Theatre group

JUST BRILLIANT, KIDS...TOTALLY!

TOTALLY Dance wowed the audience at Teatro Capitol in Rojales with an end of term spectacular.

From the moment Emily Jo Bentley from La Marina and Leila Abu-Ramadan from Villamartin stepped on stage to introduce the show in English and Spanish, the audience was captivated.

A medley of song and dance followed, with students performing zumba, tap, rock ’n’ roll, majorette, ballet and freestyle, to music from the ’60s to present day.

Highlights of the evening included student teacher, Megan Morgan performing her prize-winning jazz solo and the multi-talented Rebecca Holt singing beautifully to Katie Stewart and Evie Letch’s pointe duet.

Children as young as two performed confidently on stage and as the evening came to a close, Susan, Totally Dance’s principal, was presented with a bouquet of flowers and gifts as she thanked Rojales town hall for their support and the use of the theatre.

The Dance school, with more than 70 members, takes children from as young as two and offers classes in a variety of dance techniques, ranging from ballet to tap, disco to SANDY is an 18-month-old modern. Students rehearse labrador cross puppy who weekly at Howard’s Gym in was found in a sickly state Quesada, OK Gym in roaming the streets of Villamartin and La Escuera in Quesada.

La Marina.

After a spell in hospital School founder Susan has Sandy is now healthy and been dancing since the age has been chipped and of four and is a B.A.T.D and inoculated.

I.D.T.A fellowship qualified All Sandy now needs is a teacher. Pupils are taught to loving home – could you B.A.T.D exam standard and adopt or foster this dog? tested by a British examiner.

Call 677 381 111 if you To join Totally Dance concan help Sandy or any tact Susan on 619 690 469 or other dog at Finca La email totally-dance@hotCastellan Animal Centre. mail.com

Give a dog a home...

singing carols as its members will stage two more concerts, on December 16 at 8pm in Phase 4 Grey Area outside Ramon’s Bar and December 18 at La Marina market at 11.00am.

Aladdin?

It’s pure genie-us IT’S Christmas panto time at the Los Montesinos Theatre (Escuela de Musica y Cultura), where Aladdin premiered last night (Thursday).

The show starts at 7.30pm until Saturday, when there will also be a matinee at 2.30pm.

Donations will be made to local charities.

Tickets cost €8 for adults and €5 for children, available from the Christmas Shop in San Luis, Cards & Things in Quesada, The Card Place in Benimar - or on the door. Call 678 212 034 or 966 797 683 for further information.

LA DIVA Los Alcazares are making a meal out of charity donations - with a December promotion in aid of HAH Help at Home.

Ten per cent of all food bills until December 18 will be given to HAH, which offers free help to people of all ages in a time of need. Restaurant bookings: 968 171 029.

l

BGE gets to business THE Business Group España has staged another very successful Visitors’ Day. The event was held at La Torre Hotel, Montesinos, at 8am - the normal time and place for the regular BGE weekly breakfast meetings.

Thirty seven visitors attended and were welcomed by the President, Miguel Moreno. Moreno then gave a brief overview of the aims and policies of BGE before introducing Vice

President, Manuel Segarra.

Segarra displayed impressive figures on the screen, including the number of business referrals and their value.

Warwick Turner, BGE Treasurer, gave a brief statement. As an original BGE member, Turner

defined the importance of the 60-second Infomercials and the 10-minute Presentation that take place at every meeting.

Débora Yunis, BGE Secretary, gave details of membership and how to join the BGE. A total of 37 business referrals were handed to members at the meeting.

To find out more about joining BGE visit www.businessgroup.es or telephone 965 715 957.

Friday, December 9, 2011

25

Race winners sail away with cups PRIZE GUYS: The winners of the SAMM Autum Race series Photo: Mike Penning

THE Sailing Association Mar Menor (SAMM) held its Christmas dinner dance at Restaurante Camping Lo Monti in San Pedro.

Race Organisers of the Autumn Race Series presented three cups, all donated by Bankia, to the winning crews.

In spite of missing the final race day due to illness, John Clarke and Doreen Squires won the 1st Prize Cup. The crew of the Hamoor Catamaran, represented by Derek English and Mike Harding, won the 2nd Prize Cup, with Shoestring Tres, the Laser 2000, coming in a very close third. Shoestring’s cup was collected by team members Vernon O'Byrne and John Down.

During the rest of the evening the 60 members and friends of SAMM enjoyed a lovely meal and were entertained by Curtis Senors on his electric guitar.

The next meeting of SAMM will be in Las Claras, Calle Irene, Los Narejos, at 11am on December 14.

For more information visit www.sailingmarmenor.com or email sammracing@sailingmarmenor.com

ACT OF ROD IS A REEL BOOST! The Pink Ladies

Rugby hunks ready to have their sleigh

the Pink Ladies ay is the Maria and DON’T forget - Sund and San Jose CC in aid of AE first Reindeer Walk Orphanage. nta Prima at ladies at Fit4All in Pu Meet Maria and her fee and a presfive-euro registration 11am and bring your tmas sleigh. ent for the giant Chris ms are availand sponsorship for ion rat ist reg ce Advan perty Shop, Pro ain nta Prima and Sp able at Fit 4 All, Pu and her ladies can contact Maria Campoamor. Or you or call 634 .uk co ail. kladies@hotm directly at spanishpin .

533 596 or 693 198 351, 660 233 972 of laughs and be great fun with lots The day promises to guaranteed. good entertainment gby club will be Torrevieja Tigers Ru of Hunky members , complete with y and pull the sleigh the reindeer for the da y. on its 3km journe Santa and pressies, to children at sents will be donated pre all lk wa the After to 18, but the r fou m ildren range fro the orphanage. The ch when buying , so bear that in mind majority are over ten your presents. lk has finished ntinue when the wa The partying will co family day. with Fit4All holding a has a good will ensure everyone M, eF Vib m fro G Suzy rols.

Ca g yin pla a brass band time, and there will be y for AECC ne mo se rai lp he to ance There’s a second ch held at The ing be t rke Christmas ma on Wednesday at the the day will be r, as funds raised on Royal Oak, Campoamo charity. with the donated to the cancer from 10am to 4pm, en op is t rke ma eer with The ch as tm ris Ch viding some glass of e Harmonisers Choir pro fre a rs will also receive Carols at 12.30. Visito k. of The Royal Oa mulled wine courtesy

CLUB de Pesca Rods & Reels (formerly Rods & Reels Fishing Club) held its annual Christmas Party on Saturday.

Each year, the proceeds of the club’s sponsored fishing match are donated to a local charity nominated by the members.

This year the nominated cause was Paul Cunningham Nurses - and a cheque for €1,000 was handed over at the Christmas Dinner.

Our photo shows the cheque being presented to PCN representative Anne Day. Pictured from the left are Jim Rouse (chairman), Anne Day, Sue Swann (secretary) and Bill Reade (match secretary).

FOOD SAMARITANS: The south branch of Samaritans in Spain enjoy their monthly lunch

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Choosing the Right Anti-Aging Cream FROM the moment we are born, our bodies begin to age. Just as with a new car, we'll begin subjecting ourselves to wear and tear, and for a while, this wearing and tearing won't change our physical appearance.

But one day the changes will begin.

At first, they'll be slight and barely noticeable and then, bam -- we look old! That's when it'll be time to hit the anti-aging creams.

Before you run out to the store understand one thing: no cream so far has been created to stop or reverse the aging process. Creams can only mask the signs of aging.

So steer clear of anti-aging products that make unreasonable and unproven claims. Don't shrug this off because plenty of these products exist, especially on the Internet.

Next, eliminate the products not formulated for your skin type. If you have dry skin, don't choose products made for "normal" skin. You also should know by now the types of ingredients that trigger adverse reactions in your skin so don't choose anti-aging creams that contain these ingredients. These two steps will remove quite a few anti-aging

creams from the candidate pool, narrowing your choices significantly.

But there probably still are a mind-boggling number of products left to choose from. Now you can do one of two things. You can choose an anti-aging cream from a product line you're familiar with. That will likely be a pretty safe choice. Or, you can let your budget help you decide which anti-aging product to choose. You'll be surprised at just how expensive even the smallest containers of anti-aging creams are.

Choosing the right anti-aging cream can be a tricky and expensive undertaking. Following the above tips can help with your decision. But there is one more thing you should know: you may be able to stall this purchase by keeping your skin adequately protected from the sun's damaging rays.

Sunscreen is really the best anti-aging cream that's been invented!

Before you run out to the store understand one thing: no cream so far has been created to stop or reverse the aging process.

Simple Slimming Secrets

Losing weight is great, but it's not always possible to lose weight in a short amount of time. This article will show you how to use clever ways to make yourself appear slimmer.

Go for black It is common knowledge that black makes your look slimmer. So, when choosing an outfit go for darker colors, specifically in evening dresses, skirts and work suits. You can team these up with colorful shirts, scarves or even shawls to add a bit of glam. If you are not a fan of black, then go for navy blue, brown, deep purple and even maroon as these dark colors work really well too.

Smart stripes Generally speaking, stripes are a no-no, especially if you are on the heaver side. Horizontal stripes make you appear wider, so if you

have got large hips, don't wear skirts or a dress that will add unnecessary emphasis to your hips. Vertical stripes can have the opposite effect. However, this only works with very thin stripes, such as pinstripes, and only when the clothing is not tight and figure hugging.

Remember that clothing with vertical stripes that fit tightly on your body, can make you look "stretched-out" if your body is not in perfect shape.

FOOD POISONING: CAUSES, SYMPTOMS AND TREATMENT FOOD poisoning is a very common, yet distressing and sometimes life-threatening problem for millions of people throughout the world. Most cases of food poisoning occur when people eat food or drink water containing bacteria, bacterial toxins (substances produced by bacteria), parasites, or viruses, Food poisoning can also occur when non-infectious poisons or heavy metals find their way into people's stomachs. Most of the illnesses are mild and improve without any specific treatment. People at greatest risk for food poisoning are seniors, pregnant women, young children and babies, and people with chronic medical conditions such as diabetes and liver disease.

Food poisoning is frequently triggered by infectious organisms and their toxins. However, it can also occur when contaminated food or water is ingested. Cross-contamination is often the cause, and is especially true for raw foods, such as salads. Because these foods are not cooked, harmful organisms are not destroyed before eating and can cause food poisoning. Many bacterial causes of food poisoning can be found in undercooked meats, poultry, eggs, dairy, processed meats, fish, custards, cream pies, and contaminated water. Viruses and parasites also cause food poisoning, most commonly through contaminated, raw or uncooked meat. Other causes of food poisoning include; Shellfish: Clams, mussels, oysters, and scallops can cause poisoning when they ingest substances that produce the toxin saxitoxin; Mushrooms and toadstools: Dozens of species can cause muscarine poisoning. These poisons attack the central nervous system, causing partial or complete paralysis in severe cases; Insecticides: There are many types of poisons found in insecticides but the most dangerous types are the organophosphates, which are basically nerve gas for insects.

Strike a pose Your posture contributes a great deal to the way you look and making you appear smaller or bigger. Have a look at pictures of celebrities such as Liz Hurley and Jennifer Lopez when they're on the red carpet. You will notice that these stars have one thing in common: they all stand with good posture and pose with one leg in front of another. This pose gives a great hour-glass shape, so perfect your posture for a more slimming effect.

Almost all forms of food poisoning produce nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, and diarrhoea. The bacterial causes of food poisoning tend to cause these symptoms as well as fever and headache. Symptoms can start within hours to days after eating the contaminated food and last from a day to a week. Many non-infectious (not caused by bacteria and their toxins, viruses, etc.) food poisoning affects the central nervous system and cause symptoms typical of nerve poisons. Eating shellfish contaminated with saxitoxin, for example, will produce weakness or paralysis around the mouth in a few minutes, which slowly spreads to the rest of the body. Mushroom and insecticide poisoning also attacks the nervous system.

The treatment of food poisoning depends on the cause and on its severity. For most people, food poisoning resolves quickly without treatment. For people with mild diarrhoea lasting less than 24 hours, treatment should consist of drinking clear fluids such as oral replacement solutions which contain the right balance of water, salts, and sugar needed to prevent or treat mild dehydration.

People with severe symptoms or severe dehydration may need to be admitted to the hospital for intravenous rehydration. If poisoning is very severe, a patient may require a ventilator (artificial breathing machine), kidney dialysis, and or admission to a hospital intensive care unit. You can't always prevent food poisoning, but the best step you can take to minimise your risk is to wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds before and after handling food, after using the bathroom, changing nappies, or touching animals.

Dr. Machi Mannu is a neuro repatterning Specialist.

Email contact@mindspa.es for any question.

Friday, December 9, 2011

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Hola, El Chapparal

Make Los Chicos your choice OPNEING night at Bar Los Chicos (originally Bar Carmen) was a huge success under new owners Jorge and Regis, who also run GR’s bar in El Chapparal.

They’ve been at GR’s for over a year – and Bar Los Chicos has now been re furbished to a high standard. It has a fun, relaxed atmosphere and Regis, a qualified chef, is producing a tasty, tempting Christmas menu that will delight both Chicos and chicas! As for Jorge, you’ll find him looking after the bar!

Why not pop in for an enjoyable experience in a fun, relaxed atmosphere? Get yourself along to Bar Los Chicos, the place to be.

Fun for all at the Black Bull

If fun nights out are what you are after then Bar El Toro Negro in El Chaparral is just the place for you.

Friendly landlord Brian is the perfect host and makes everyone who enters this lively bar welcome.

There is always something going on at Bar El Toro Negro, with live sport screenings, darts, pool and cards.

If you’re feeling clever, there are regular quiz nights on Wednesdays, and crooners can take to the mike every Monday with karaoke.

On Thursdays in El Toro Negro it’s eyes down for a full house as the bingo gets underway.

All entertainment starts at 9pm, so just enough time to settle in with a drink or two before the fun gets underway.

Bill and Greg’s excellent night out Weekly live entertainment, karaoke, Sunday lunch and daily breakfasts are just some of the attractions of Bar Rincon de Burgos in El Chaparral.

The bar was taken over by new owners, Bill and Greg, in October and already the pair has turned Rincon de Burgos into a local favourite.

It’s not difficult to see why locals love Rincon de Burgos. Bill, who takes care of things in the kitchen, serves up some of the best steak dinners on the Costa Blanca. But don’t take our word for it – get along to Rincon de Burgos and try them for yourselves.

If you’re not a steak lover, there are plenty of other dishes to choose from – with a full pub menu available in the

evening. Vegetarians are well catered for, and Bill offers veggie and vegan choices.

Bill and Greg are planning a fun Christmas in the bar and invite everyone who wants to have a good time to join in. The promise singing, loads of laughs and possibly even dancing on the bar! They already have their Christmas and New Year menus planned and are taking bookings.

The warmth Bill and Greg have created at Rincon de Burgos extends beyond the bar and the pair, along with their customers, support the Laura Appeal. Staff and customers are providing Christmas lunch for Jose and his four children and there will be many presents for the kids left by Santa under the tree

Mi casa es tu casa – feel at home at Casa Mia How can anyone do such a good breakfast for such a low price? That’s the normal reaction of customers tucking into the €3 full English at Casa Mia in El Chaparral.

But somehow this family-run restaurant manages to dish up great food at low prices.

Breakfast is available at Casa Mia Monday to Saturday from 9am, but it is not just in the mornings that you will get excellent food and value at Casa Mia. From 6pm, the varied menu becomes available, with choices including homemade pizzas and pasta dishes as well as meat

selections. And, if for some reason, you are not able to stay and enjoy the friendly atmosphere of Casa Mia, you can take the food away; perfect if you fancy a night in but still want to enjoy Casa Mia’s tasty food.

Casa Mia is very popular on Sundays when a three-course lunch is dished up for only €11 including one drink.

And as for Christmas, with a six-course meal plus a free drink for just €38, Casa Mia can take the hard work out of the day and provide a relaxed alternative to the frenzy of cooking your meal at home.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Motoring mouthfuls The 10 most unpronounceable car names ever Pininfarina 2uettottanta

Sweden's most recognisable supercar brand famously appeared on Top Gear with a name card too big to fit on the lap time board. Even spelt correctly, Koenigsegg is a one mighty mouthful.

Fiat Tipo Sedicivalvole

When visitors to the 2011 Geneva Show saw the plaque next to Pininfarina's concept car, they were faced with an almighty tongue-combobulator of a name. The Alfa Romeo Spider concept was called '2uettottanta' - a mash-up of Duetto and the word for '80' in Italian. Most English speakers just give up, but if you want to try, it's pronounced 'doo-ettott-anta'.

Koenigsegg

Changan Yuexiang In the days when having sixteen valves in your engine was a big deal, Fiat made an especially big meal of it with its Tipo. Rather than simply scrawling '16V' on the back of the car like everyone else, Fiat used up years' worth of red paint by spelling out the word 'Sedicivalvole' across the rump.

Pagani Huayra Pagani's latest car is apparently named after an Andean god of wind. It's supposed to be pronounced 'ooh-aye-rah' but we'll just carry on wobbling our jaws around arbitrarily and hope something better than random noise comes out.

Chinese Mandarin words pose eternal problems for lexicographers. They also pose plenty of problems for English speakers. We're still not sure how to position our jaws when pronouncing the name of Changan's Yuexiang.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Bewerp Savage Rivale Roadyacht GTS

SSC Tuatara

This syllabub of syllables from the Netherlands is guaranteed to give you a mighty migraine before you even get half way through its name. Did those mad Dutchmen just randomly put letters in a hat and tip them out?

Geely Gleagle GS

Anything from Korea

Shelby Super Cars apparently searched 'for several months' before plumping for the name 'Tuatara' for what may very possibly become the world's fastest supercar. The name given to the 1,350bhp Tuatara is the Maori word for a special type of lizard found in New Zealand - apparently it's pronounced 'too-ah-tar-ah'. Say it too fast and it's more like 'twit-ara', which sums up our feelings on the matter.

Anything from Lamborghini No car company in history has had so many knotty names

The Chinese are the owners of quite a few European brands these days. Volvo, for example, is now under the control of Geely. So is that pronounced 'geely' or 'jeely'?

Well, it's the latter. And the most tongue-twisting models the brand sells in its homeland is the Geely Gleagle GS. Just try saying that a few a times.

that lodge themselves in the mouth like impossible toffee as Lamborghini. It all started with the Countach ('coon-tash'), got worse with the Urraco (ooh-racko), went beyond a joke with Gallardo ('guy-ardo') and fell off a cliff with MurciĂŠlago ('moor-chell-ago').

The Koreans are dab hands at selling us cars with unpronounceable names. Daewoo and Ssangyong are just the start. The worst culprit, though, is Hyundai. In the UK we tend to pronounce it 'high-oon-dye' but to Koreans this sounds all wrong. They actually pronounce it with an 'eh' sound at the end - more like 'hee-un-deh'. In the US, they just get round it by saying 'hun-day'.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

This week we look at His and Hers winter warmers! Whether you are buying for yourself or a loved one make sure you look stylish in this season’s top trends.

Zara 49.95€

Bershka 39.99€

Blanco 29.99€

His Zara 39.95€

Gisele Bündchen was named ‘Best Green International Celebrity' at this year's Green Awards at a ceremony at the National History Museum in London on November 24.

She became a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) in 2009 and has supported numerous environmental initiatives such as the Drop of Water Movement (Movimento Gota D'Agua), which aims to prevent the construction of the Bel Monte Dam in Brazil.

Blanco 22.99€

Bershka 45.99€

Hers Zara 29.95€

Bershka 19.99€

Zara 49.95€

Blanco 19.99€

Blanco 25.99€

Zara 25.95€

Stradivarius 45.95€

Bershka 25.99€

Blanco 25.99€

THE LATEST FASHION HEADLINES

Stradivarius 19.95€

Question

Answer

Hi Freya Where can I buy fashionable shoes for women with arthritis and oedema? My ankles are swollen from arthritis and oedema, but I would love to buy some fashionable shoes which do not make me look and feel old. Any ideas, please?

Rachael, Rojales

Hi Rachael, I have found a really good website on the internet www.hottershoes.com.

They make stylish but comfotable shoes, to suit all needs, even an extra wide range. From slippers to boots to heels im sure you will find something you like!

They also deliver worldwide. Have fun shoe shopping!

Freya

Princess Diana's back-up wedding dress and shoes were auctioned at London's Kerry Taylor auction house.

Exact replicas of Princess Diana’s wedding dress and slippers were auctioned off in London this week for approximately $132,000. The David Emanuel gown and Clive Shilton shoes were made for the princess in case anything went wrong with her original outfit prior to the ceremony.

Francois Lesage, a master embroiderer who for decades crafted exquisite pieces for haute couture giants from Chanel to Yves Saint Laurent, has died aged 82, his workshop said on Thursday.

The doyen of French embroidery, a central figure in the fashion world, died in a hospital near his home in Versailles outside Paris on Wednesday night following a long illness, the Lesage workshop told AFP. Boxpark which claims to be the first pop-up mall has opened in London, with plans to open a European version next year. The mall, which is home to over 60 labels, features basic building blocks which can be moved to anywhere in the globe – although there are plans to stay at the Shoreditch location for five years.

GOT A FASHION PROBLEM YOU CAN’T FIX? Maybe you have got a big event coming up and don’t know what to wear. Or you have recently lost a lot of weight and are not sure what clothes you can now wear Email all your problems to Freya at office@thecourier.es

If you’ve got a problem, Freya can fix it!

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Friday, December 9, 2011

TKO FM BACK ON 91.9 TKO GOLD BACK ON 87.5 & 96.7

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS onday 12th om M

All begins across TKO as fr

Listen out on your favourite local radio stations for the daily Christmas connected questions for your chance to win a daily prize donated by some of our great advertisers!

There will be a different question each day on both TKO FM and TKO GOLD, with the prize winner being announced during the respective breakfast shows at 10.30am the following morning.

WHAT YOU COULD WIN!!

MICROWAVE & GRILL

MINI FRIDGE

LED / LCD SUPER SLIM TV PORTABLE DVD PLAYER

POCKET CAMCORDER

1 MONTH GYM MEMBERSHIP

PLUS MANY MORE GREAT PRIZES

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ December 9 Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm, this week hosted by Keith Nicol.

1. Madness went on this cruise.

2. "How Bizarre" was a hit for this Kiwi group.

3. Elvis left Sun Records to join this label.

4. A change of name for Shane Fenton.

5. Tommy Steele played Arthur Kipps in this musical.

NEW ON

6. Punk rocker John Mellors stage name.

7. Enya flowed up this river.

SATURDAY 12pm - 3pm PETER HURST

SUNDAY 12pm - 3pm KEITH NICOL

Peter has already presented one show on TKO GOLD and we welcome him to a regular Saturday slot. You will get used to Peter’s favourite music decades and his renowned opinions on the Spanish way of life!

Keith joins the Gold boys having been broadcasting all over the world for more years than he would care to admit! Keith’s love of 60’s and 70s music will come through the Sunday lunchtime airwaves.

8. Lead singer with Haircut 100.

9. In praise of Friday was this Aussie bands only top 10 hit.

10. Bless your beautiful hide came from this 50s musical.

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Friday, December 9, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 8 represents J and 13 represents X, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Distinct part (7) 5 Cooked bread (5) 8 Small weight (5) 9 Curving inward (7) 10 Its capital is Prague (5,8) 11 Artefact depository (6) 12 Kleenex (6) 15 Form of execution (8,5) 18 Dwell within (7) 19 Provide with tools (5) 20 Dense evergreen shrub (5) 21 City in Western California (7)

Down 1 Unemotional sort (5) 2 Come clean (7) 3 Boundless (13) 4 Five-cent piece (6) 5 Ironic and insincere (6-2-5) 6 Be helpful to (5) 7 Molasses (7) 11 Formal gathering (7) 13 Cooking utensil (7) 14 Small informal restaurant (6) 16 Old fashioned sleep inducer (5) 17 Speedy (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Severe, 4 Obsess, 9 Another, 10 Aroma, 11 Crane, 12 Passive, 13 Worshipping, 18 Evident, 20 Leave, 22 Haifa, 23 Ravioli, 24 Danger, 25 Breeze.

Down: 1 Search, 2 Viola, 3 Reheels, 5 Brass, 6 Emotion, 7 Shares, 8 Proprietary, 14 Opinion, 15 Palaver, 16 Method, 17 Beside, 19 Evade, 21 Adore.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 You may say goodbye to this choral composition (7) 5 Something useful, like a matching collection (5) 8 Labour leader ends loans (5) 9 Come from a wandering manatee (7) 10 By mistake meander to a French cathedral (5,4) 12 Find a farm animal in the World Wide Web (3) 13 Climb over a range (5) 14 Is honest with audio engineer’s concerns (6) 17 Yes, it’s one vote (3) 18 Pop undoes organisation without any opposition (9) 20 Unlawful cash drawer tossed out here in France (7) 21 Offend again, making sticky stuff (5) 23 The last King out East has to stuff himself (5) 24 The French bad aimer found in Wyoming (7)

Down 1 Two points for punctuation (5) 2 This sister sounds like nothing (3) 3 Australia began before it became bleak and forbidding (7) 4 Near as possible to the centres of the circus (6) 5 Bring down a support (5) 6 Second hand primate less amorphous (9) 7 The potential uses for a Greek hero (7) 11 Commercial representative of a long-distance tourist (9) 13 Strongly criticising the roof work (7) 15 Rome rep has become a ruler (7) 16 Hotels are demolished to become a guesthouse (6) 18/22 American relation tampered with clues man (5,3) 19 Bonehead taken up

by Aztec nude dancers (5) 22 See 18

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Punctuation mark (5) 2 Religious woman (3) 3 Stark (7) 4 Stadiums (6) 5 Humble (5) 6 Amorphous (9) 7 Greek hero (7) 11 Person who changes location (9) 13 Roofing material (7) 15 Sovereign (7) 16 Boarding house (6) 18/22 Personification of US government (5,3) 19 Stupid person (5) 22 See 18

Across 1 Musical composition (7) 5 Strong point (5) 8 Loans (5) 9 Radiate (7) 10 Paris cathedral (5,4) 12 Female sheep (3) 13 Extent (5) 14 Flattens (6) 17 Affirmative (3) 18 Without opposition (9) 20 Illegal (7) 21 Semisolid viscous substance (5) 23 Canyon (5) 24 Town in Wyoming (7)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Posed, 4 Meteor, 9 Strange, 10 Toils, 11 Asps, 12 Alabama, 13 Ill, 14 Earn, 16 Chef, 18 Due, 20 Asinine, 21 Sole, 24 Tiara, 25 Against, 26 Rasher, 27 Steer.

Down: 1 Postal, 2/8 Scrap metal, 3 Dank, 5 Entrance, 6 Emirate, 7 Rascal, 13 Indicate, 15 Animals, 17 Rafter, 18 Debar, 19 Pewter, 22 Ounce, 23 Pays.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ace Ale Aye Car Era Lax Lop Opt Sob Tic Too Two War Woe Yet 4 letter words Able

Alba Anne Arab Aril Balm Bane Bike Cite Crow Dust Eras Gold Iran Knee Loll Mien Ocas

Ores Peru Race Rale 6 Rams Reel Salt 8 Sard Slav Stye Take Tsar Twee Twig 5 letter words Caret Skint

Stood Wages Worst letter words Calves Scribe letter words Derision Electron Examiner Secretly Stiletto Stressed 10 letter words Ineligible Tablespoon

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 To park (vehicle) (7) 5 Pájaros (ornitológico) (5) 8 Su (de ellos) (5) 9 Más loco (7) 10 Gallos (aves) (9) 12 Morir (persona, animal, planta) (3) 13 Coal (mineral) (6) 14 Limones (frutos) (6) 17 Mar (geográfico) (3) 18 Butterflies (zoological) (9) 20 Rings (on finger) (7) 21 Sombra (proyectada por un objeto) (5) 23 Asses (donkeys) (5) 24 Hermanas (7)

Down 1 Desván (5) 2 Edad (de persona, animal, árbol) (3) 3 Postman (7) 4 Más rico (6) 5 Habas (legumbres) (5) 6 Gotas de lluvia (9) 7 Calles (vías públicas) (7) 11 Clavel (9) 13 Chestnut (7) 15 Handcuffs (7) 16 Patatas fritas (de bolsa) (6) 18 Millas (5) 19 Tallos (de flores) (5) 22 As (naipes) (3)

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Friday, December 9, 2011 Across 1 The Road to Hell (Part2) was which singer’s first British top 10 hit single? (5,3) 7 Venus comb, baler and trumpet are all varieties of which gastropod? (5) 8 Which abnormal condition of the lungs marked by decreased respiratory function is associated with smoking or chronic bronchitis or old age? (9) 9 Which metallic element is widely used for plating steel cans used as food containers, in metals used for bearings and in solder? (3) 10 What name is applied to ice crystals forming a white deposit, especially on objects outside? (4) 11 In Greek mythology, who was the most famous of the monster figures known as Gorgons? She was usually represented as a winged female creature having a head of hair consisting of snakes. (6) 13/15 Which South African black nationalist and statesman whose long imprisonment (1962–90) and subsequent ascension to the presidency (1994) symbolised the aspirations of South Africa’s black majority? (6,7) 14 Which opera by Georges Bizet that caused a scandal when it was first produced in 1875, features the bullfighter Escamillo?

(6) 17 What was the surname of the American markswoman who was nicknamed Little Sure Shot? (6) 18 Paul who topped the British singles chart in 1957 with Diana? (4)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

20 Which long thin fluffy scarf of feathers or fur is also the name of a large snake that kills by constriction? (3) 22 What name is given to plants and shrubs that bear foliage throughout the year? (9) 23 What name is given to a pair of long straps, usually connect-

ed to the bit or the headpiece, used to control a horse? (5) 24 Which state of the USA was the first of the original 13 states to ratify the Federal constitution? (8) Down 1 What nationality was the great long-distance Emil Zátopek?

(5) 2 Which Italian master painter and architect of the Italian High Renaissance. Raphael is best known for his Madonnas and for his large figure compositions in the Vatican in Rome? (7) 3 What was the name of the principal river of the underworld in Greek mythology? (4) 4 Which city is the county town of Devon? (6) 5 Which island received the George Cross in recognition of its inhabitants’ gallantry in World War II? (5) 6 What was the surname of the 42nd president of the USA? (7) 7 What name is given to a member of the Japanese warrior caste? (7) 12 Which Anglo-American pop group consisted of Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith, Peter Tork and Mickey Dolenz? (7) 13 What is the title of the fourth book of the Old Testament? (7) 15 See 13 Across 16 What was the name of the Greek goddess of the moon? (6) 17 What name is given to a fertile or green area in an arid region such as a desert? (5) 19 Which musical, based upon a Harold Gray comic strip, features the songs Tomorrow and It’s a Hard Knock Life? (5) 21 Which city in northern India is the site of the Taj Mahal? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

SALUD - HEALTH

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

1. Which Uk Football Team Are Known As The Owls?

2. What Did The Inter Cities Fairs Cup Change It's Name To? 3. The Solheim Cup Is The Womans Equivalent Of Whhich Famous Sporting Cup ?

4. Which racehorse houses the burial site of Red Rum? 5. Which Cyclist Won Great Britains First Gold Medal At The 2000 Sydney Olympics?

6. How Many Successive Wimbledon Titles Did Bjorn Borg Win? 7. What sport is legal in only 16 American States?

8. In 1998 Who Became The Youngest Footballer To Score A Hat Trick In The English Premiership?

9. Who Succeeded Henry Cooper As British Heavyweight Boxing Champion?

10. In Which Sport Is The Walker Cup Contested?

11. Name the first Grand Prix driver to use a safety belt in 1967?

12. With Which Sport Will You Associate Jonah Barrington?

1. Sheffield Wednesday 2. UEFA Cup 3. The Ryder Cup 4.

Aintree 5. Jason Queally 6. 5 7. Greyhound Racing 8.

Michael Owen 9. Joe Bugner 10. Golf 11. Jackie Stuart 12. Squash

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Scarface, 7 Stone, 8 Peter Falk, 9/24 Val Doonican, 10 Alum, 11 Akimbo, 13 Becker, 14 Severn, 17 Cantor, 18 Adam, 20 Ava, 22 The Champs, 23 Ayres.

Down: 1 Sepia, 2/4 Arthur C Clarke, 3 Faro, 5 Volvo, 6 Aeolian, 7 Skimmer, 12 Peanuts, 13 Bahamas, 15 Endemic, 16 Bolero, 17 Cairo, 19 Mason, 21 Shin.

m. thermometer, enfermera, n. emergency, quirofano, o. operating theatre, botiquin, muleta, 21. baston. p. walking stick, q. doctor, r. plaster, a. surgery, b. scissors, s. dressing, c. tweezers, d. syringe, t. adhesive tape, e. bandage, f. chemist, u. ambulance. g. nurse, h. crutch, i. cotton wool, j. splint, k. stretcher, l. first aid kit, 17.

18.

19.

20.

I OB HA ONA F ORI UQC V K A WI M U L E T A Z M I U V T S WC F P L X K WX R O R DJ T GA A T I RI T UP HG A MOZ MQV U I L GA N OE P M N WR K X G E I R P V C N A WB C A L T N A D O E L I C L L DUF DF I A S NJ UDI GOL E L E B RJ DA QP E A OF N I R A A E A E I Z MMS D D F M L P N J WT R I N G H OP E MS B Y C OB D A V I J N R OE MH A B I QC H S C P A S A GU Y V T C A MI L L A L T E R MOME T R OF U MF Soduko

Span - Eng

Answers: 1d, 2k, 3s, 4r, 5e, 6c, 7b, 8i, 9t, 10j, 11u, 12f, 13u, 14a, 15n, 16q, 17g, 18o, 19l, 20h, 21p.

movies/tv QUIZ

1. jeringuilla, 2. camilla, 3. gasa, 4. tirita, 5. venda, 6. pinzas, 7. tijeras, 8. algodon, 9. esparadrapo, 10. tablilla, 1 1. termometro, 12. farmacia, 13. ambulancia, 14. cirugia, 15. urgencia, 1 6. medico,

ALGODON

MEDICO

AMBULANCIA

MULETA

BASTON

PINZAS

BOTIQUIN

QUIROFANO

CAMILLA

TABLILLA

CIRUGIA

TERMOMETRO

ENFERMERA

TIJERAS

ESPARADRAPO

TIRITA

FARMACIA

URGENCIAS

GASA

VENDA

JERINGUILLA Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, December 9, 2011

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 Your appetites may diminish today as you fall into a vat of gravy with no inside ladder.

Are you loveable? Take time out today to contemplate that thought and try to make sure that you are very loveable. This week will be a series of blunders that follow each other.

My friend won’t talk Dear Rose. My problem is that my friend is the Union Rep for support workers and there was a national strike, we all went out on strike and lost a day’s pay but then we found out she never went out on strike. I told her the people were really angry and felt let down by my friend. I told her that people were upset and since then she has resigned from being the rep but has stopped talking to me. I have sent her a message saying sorry but I thought she should know what people were thinking.

What should I do?

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Anything someone says today that is unkind is probably meant in jest, you ugly git. You are not anyone's "bitch". For what it's worth, today is going to be very short.

Which is a very good thing for you.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Other people are not as crazy as you make them out to be. Any joke you have to seriously think about today is not worth 'getting'. In the grand scheme of things, today rates as a 0.001.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Repetition may annoy you today as someone close by tells you the same damned story over and over again.

Hoping to find love in a chippy just shows how optimistic you are.

SUE LONDON (via email) Hello Sue. I'm guessl ing that the reason she didn't strike was that she

would they? They get what they want on a plate and couldn't afford to lose the when that’s gone they go day's pay - people would back to where they started. have been more under- YOU have just as much say standing if she'd explained in this as he does so why her reasons though. Give do you let him make the her a bit of time, just act rules and let him pick you normally and try to ride it up when he wants you and out - it should soon be for- drops you when he doesgotten. It was a hard toss n't. up for a lot of people - the I'm sorry but this isn't the principles are important love that stories where but losing a day’s pay in made out of. In cases like the current economy just this it hardly ever changes wasn't feasible for some and someone gets very people and I know a few hurt. Save yourself more people who felt guilty that heartache by dropping it they couldn't afford to now, yes it’s hard to cut strike. someone off. But in a years’ time you will probably be happier.

The wrong guy for me

Hello Rose. Basically I fell in love with a friend, who happens to be my cousin’s ex-boyfriend. We started seeing each other knowing it wouldn't last, but I've fallen in love. It's been on and off for about a year now, and I can't get out of the cycle, it was fun at first but he now just abuses the fact that I like him so much by picking and choosing when he wants me, and I keep making excuses for him. He's a great guy, but won’t give me any sort of commitment or affection...

Should I move on?

Dear Rose. Hi there, I’m a 23 year old, working lady. I have been in a relationship since the past four and a half years. I recently discovered that my partner has been cheating on me. The problem is that I know it’s time to move ahead for a new beginning, but I forgave him almost as soon as I discovered his doings. I’m suffering from depression and I’m in tears whenever I am alone, but I don't want to leave him.

SUZIE LA MARINA He on the other hand accepted his mistake and has Hello Suzie. You are a promised not to repeat this in human being; you future. Should I continue with deserve to be treated as him or should I just move on? one. At the moment he is most definitely using you AMY but you are allowing him to LO PAGAN by excusing his behaviour.

Hello Amy. I think it's You see what is happening very common in the but yet you give in. first shock of finding out You have will power. Stop that the person you love allowing this man to treat has cheated to want to foryou like you have. He does- give them and for everyn't have a say in the matter, thing to go back to normal YOU do. as quickly as possible.

Men like this will hardly Unfortunately, it doesn't ever settle down. Why work like that. While rela-

l

l

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es tionships can and do survive cheating (if both people want that) the person who is cheated on will feel angry, sad, betrayed, disgusted etc. If you are still so upset and suffering from depression, I would suggest you talk openly to him and say he might be ok moving on from it but you're not. This doesn't mean you have to walk away from the relationship but that you need to talk through what happened, why, how it made you feel & to work on rebuilding the relationship. It won't just recover on its own.

The other issue is that affairs (unless someone is just incapable of being faithful, in which case leave) don't just happen.

Normally there is something either in the relationship or the rest of their life that leads up to the cheating. I don't mean that the cheating is justified but to improve the relationship, it's worth finding out why he did it.

Can’t stop cheating

Hello Rose. I've been cheating on my wife for about 15 months now, we have a daughter together but as much as they are my world I can't seem to give this other woman up.

So the woman that I've been sleeping with for what I thought was a year but then realised it was more than that, she decided just to cut me off completely, kind of that "one of us has to be mature and stop it" sort of things.

So of course this drove me crazy. As immature as it is, I can't stand the thought of something being denied to me. So now whenever I'm seeing her, even though that isn't often, I keep asking to see her and she says no which makes it worse!

My wife is pregnant with our twins now and even though I hate this part of me, I just can't get control of it.

What the hell can I do?? I hate the thought of going to counselling as how am I going to explain that to her?

PETER SAN MIGUEL Hello Peter. l Counsellors have heard most things and are unlikely to judge you. I am not sure how you managed to find time to see your mistress and NOT find time to see a counsellor without your wife knowing.

I've seen many people in the grips of stupid behaviour and you probably won't listen but there isn't a good way out of this obsession if you don't stop. You will hurt your wife unbelievably and there is a good chance you will break up your family and therefore hurt your children as well.

As you say, not being able to cope with something being denied to you is immature and I think that's probably at the root of the problem - you need to grow up, this is much more than about your obsession - it's about your family's wellbeing and also that of your mistress. She's made the mature decision to end it, stop making it harder for her.

Leo July 23 - August 22 When hankering for some food you may decide to experiment with various plants - avoid those with 3 leaves. The truth is much harder to find than fiction.

Don't be afraid to spread damn dirty lies

Virgo August 23 - September 22 The thought of you losing your mind is making you lose your mind. If you ever get out of that hole, the chances are that you're still going to be a neurotic plague of badness.

Unruly behaviour by your closest friends can be solved using cake-forks

Libra September 23 - October 22 Eggs, flour, milk, potatoes, sage and onion stuffing - these are all the ingredients you need for a happy marriage and a pleasant evening. "Saucy!" should not be used as a synonym for sweaty. Take care when opening up an email from a friend today as you may not enjoy the electronic content inside.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Lots of different shades of grey help you know that metal objects are 3 dimensional.

You are a beautiful creature - don't let any other pretty bitch tell you otherwise. Don't be embarrassed by your actions today, embrace your flamboyant side.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 The right moment could grab you at any moment. If you're terrified by the thought of someone being able to look into your mind...are you sure you should be here, because that's what I'm doing right now.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 You must relax more, take long walks and fill the bath up really full so that you can soak those weary limbs. You will be plagued by happy people, but don't be swayed by them, stay miserable. Dance like a madman, win the respect of colleagues and foes.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 When you steal copyrighted material, make sure you do it in a comical fashion.

That way you can claim "fair use" and hold up court proceedings...at least until they find you guilty of stealing copyrighted material.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 When asked if you're OK today, you may feel tempted to respond with physical violence. Seek comfort in clothing today.

Your favourite colour will today start to look a little different.

35

Friday, December 9, 2011

TRELI ON THE TELLY Amazing Attenborough really is Poles apart! prod that they do have a massive obligation for future generations. As those letter writers years ago used to scribble to Points of View, “Well done BBC!”.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t the Christmas TV season really start a couple of days or so before December 25? Tonight on BBC 2 we are being treated to the Gardener’s World Christmas Special, whilst Sky Movies have been showing wall-to-wall Xmas movies for over a week now!

I’m no Scrooge, but the TV festive season seems to get longer and longer each year. I remember the old days when the Xmas specials didn’t hit the screen until Christmas Eve, and the only daytime TV on Boxing Day was Racing from Kempton Park and perhaps an old black and white British comedy film.

TV has been full of great fictional partnerships, often in crime shows like Starsky & Hutch, Cagney & Lacey, Mulder & Scully, or Regan & Carter. There’s no magic formula to this, as many TV producers have found to their cost over the years, but when you get it right, then you get a bit of TV gold. That’s very much the case with the American show, Bones, which launched into series seven on Sky One a few weeks ago, and will appear on Spanish channels La Sexta and FOX next year.

In case you are one of the few Frozen Planet: Reality never to have seen it, the show TV of the purest and revolves around the work at the most honest form Jeffersonian Institute in Washington, led by Dr.Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan as her team try to help solve murders by just dealing with the victims’ bones.

She forms a working bond with FBI agent Seeley Booth -- and the personal relationship between them builds up over the years, to the point that in the latest series Brennan is having Booth’s baby (mirroring the fact that the actress is pregnant as well!).

The casting of Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz is perfect and there’s some real chemistry between them. That said, the rest of cast and their characters are equally likeable and entertaining, and the show also has you guessing in which direction it’s going, whether for laughs or genuine edge-of-the-seat drama.

I WAS in a semi-mournful mood on Wednesday night, as I watched the final episode of BBC1’s brilliant Frozen Planet series. This was easily the best TV series I’ve seen all year, and there was no audience voting, wannabes or actors involved. Just reality TV of the purest and most honest form.

The BBC spent four years and £16 million making it, and it was worth every penny. The footage and insights into life at the North and South Poles was amazing, and it wasn’t just a case of spending a nice few minutes with cuddly polar bears and penguins. In the ‘Freeze Frame’ section of the programme each week, we got just a taste of the tremendous dedication, and at times bravery, of the production crews in putting together this magnificent programme.

There was a lot more going on in this triumph for the BBC’s Natural History team, and the final episode did actually match my mournful demeanour. David Attenborough talked about the rising temperatures in our polar regions, and whatever is behind all of this, global warming or no global warming, we have a big problem.

Sadly, and not for the first time, our politicians have deserted us on this big issue, and I’d suggest they all be sent DVD box sets of Frozen Planet for Christmas to give them a timely

with ALEX TRELINSKI

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011) 15 Directed by Marcus Nispel, Conan the Barbarian is based on the character created by Robert E. Howard, meaning that it's technically a reboot rather than a remake of John Milius' 1982 Schwarzenegger version. Narrated by Morgan Freeman, the film begins as Conan (Leo Howard, then Jason Momoa) is born on a bloody battlefield and raised by his father, Corin (Ron Perlman) amongst a tribe of Cimmerian barbarians.

When Conan is a young boy, his tribe – including his father - are slaughtered

strong support from CAST: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Stephen Lang, Perlman (on top growly Rose McGowan, Rachel Nichols form) and Lang (suitably DIRECTOR: Marcus Nispel GENRE: Action/Adventure hissable), while Rose RATING: 3/5 RUNNING TIME: 112 min.

McGowan is clearly having by the evil sorcerer Khalar Jason Momoa (Game of a whale of a time and comZym (Stephen Lang), who's Thrones) delivers a solid, fortably steals every scene looking for the pieces of a charismatic performance as the bald-headed, bemythical all-powerful as Conan, though he's taloned and deliciously mask, together with his evil almost overshadowed by beastly sorceress. daughter Marique (Rose Leo Howard as his younger The special effects are McGowan). Years later, self, thanks to a terrific extremely impressive, parrevenge-obsessed Conan early fight sequence in the ticularly during the stun(Jason Momoa), picks up forest that the film never ning Sand Warrior the trail of Khalar Zym, just quite tops. There's also sequence, where Conan as the sorcerer is about to fulfill his diabolic plan by This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING sacrificing Tamara (Rachel MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all Nichols), the last remain- over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel ing pure-blood of Acheron. 650 751 072 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

The casting of Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz is perfect

MOST crime shows run out of steam come the seventh series, but Bones seems as fresh as ever, and despite the fact that the ‘will they…won’t they’ element of the Brennan/Booth relationship has been sorted, there’s still plenty to enjoy.

La Sexta is currently re-running the first series in the afternoons, with some pretty gory scenes, so it’s not late at all to check out the early days and the roots of a massive international TV hit.

Meanwhile, the steam may have gushed out of the horror series The Walking Dead, which has taken a mid-season break on FX UK, and is currently on La Sexta and Fox. A second series always proves whether a show has some legs in it, and despite a good start, the subsequent episodes have become disappointingly boring, which is a shame.

The mini-finale had a great final scene, but the show needs to rekindle the tension we had last year, and knowing that there’ll be a third season, I hope the producers sort things out when it returns for the second half of this season in February. fights a series of creatures conjured out of sand by Marique. The production design work is good too, especially in the detail of the fantasy landscapes. In addition, there are also several enjoyably trashy sequences, whether it's Conan rescuing multiple cages full of half-naked women or an all-toobrief Conan the Pirate interlude, complete with swashbuckling thrills.

Conan the Barbarian is never less than watchable, though the overly serious script means it's not quite as much fun as it could have been.

36

The Courier Friday TV

9th December

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 The Truth About Supermarket Price Wars - Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 Digging for Britain 04:55 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Noise Squad 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Doctors 15:10 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 17:30 Horrible Histories 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:10 02:35 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 04:55

Snooker: UK Championship Pan Am Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Close

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Gimme a Break 08:25 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 Iconicles 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Something Special: Out and About 10:40 Charlie and Lola 10:55 Zingzillas 11:15 Big Barn Farm 11:25 Louie 11:35 Octonauts 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 Live Snooker: UK Championship 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 MasterChef the Professionals: Michel's Classics 22:00 Gardeners' World Christmas Special 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 Grimefighters 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Lives in Limbo: Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Murder, She Wrote 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Nation's Favourite Bee Gees Song 23:30 ITV News and Weather

THE TWO RONNIES SKETCHBOOK Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker reminisce from behind the famous desk about their all-time favourite sketches from a partnership that spanned three decades and resulted in 12 series. Featuring re-runs of Mastermind, Club Quickie, Spooner, Tickle Yer Botty and Robot Traffic Warden.

00:30 Random Acts 00:35 The Secret Millionaire 01:35 Inputoutput 01:50 4Play: The Pierces 02:05 She, a Chinese 03:45 Southland 04:35 Happy Endings 05:00 Whatever Turns You On 05:05 Atlantic 05:10 Emily's Song 05:25 Unreported World 05:50 Landlords from Hell 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss Australia 10:55 Beeny's Restoration Nightmare 11:55 Sealed Bid 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:00 Channel 4 Racing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Date with Me 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats: Best Bits

00:00 Police Interceptors 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Wildlife SOS 05:35 Wildlife SOS 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 The National Tree 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Windtalkers

37

The Courier Saturday TV

10th December

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The Lake House 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 Question Time 03:10 Fry's Planet Word 04:10 Dragons' Den 05:10 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Home Cooking Made Easy 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 17:30 Final Score 18:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:35 My Family 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 21:15 Merlin 22:00 Casualty 22:50 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 00:45 00:50 01:40 03:15 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:10 07:00

The Review Show Weather Snooker: UK Championship Metropolitan BBC News HARDtalk BBC News Click Newswatch BBC News Close Little Robots

07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Roar 08:30 Arthur 08:50 Dennis and Gnasher 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Splatalot 10:00 Deadly 60 10:30 Horrible Histories 11:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 11:30 I Want My Own Room 12:00 Deadly Art 12:15 Sorry, I've Got No Head 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 The Sky at Night 13:20 Coast 13:25 Astaire and Rogers Sing George and Ira Gershwin 13:35 A Damsel in Distress 15:15 Stage Door 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Live Snooker: UK Championship 18:30 One Man and His Dog 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 23:00 QI XL 23:45 In the Valley of Elah

00:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:05 The Outlaw Josey Wales 02:30 The Zone 02:30 ITV News Headlines 04:35 Columbo: Double Shock 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 This Morning: Saturday 13:45 ITV News and Weather 13:54 Meridian Weather 13:55 Thunderbirds 15:35 The Mummy Returns 18:00 Meridian News and Weather 18:15 ITV News and Weather 18:30 You've Been Framed!

19:00 The Chase 20:00 This Is Justin Bieber 21:00 The X Factor Final 23:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: Peter Andre

PIERS MORGANS LIFE STORIES: PETER ANDRE The singer and reality star discusses his career and life away from the spotlight since his divorce in 2009 from Katie Price, whom he met on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! in 2004. He reveals his fight with depression, when he suffered up to 15 panic attacks a day, and shares what he felt after seeing his children Junior and Princess with a boyfriend of his exwife. Last in the series.

00:05 Pete Versus Life 00:40 Stand Up for the Week 01:25 Random Acts 01:30 Presents - Plan B 01:50 The Class 04:00 Shameless USA 04:55 The Confession 05:00 Home Road Movies 05:10 A Film from My Parish 05:20 The Birthday 05:35 St Elsewhere 06:20 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 Offshore Academy 08:00 Great Ethiopian Run 08:55 The Morning Line 09:50 Smallville 10:55 The Crush 11:25 Example: Backstage 12:00 Real Stories: Eminem 13:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:35 The Big Bang Theory 14:05 The Simpsons 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me 17:25 Come Dine with Me 17:55 Come Dine with Me 18:25 Come Dine with Me 18:55 Come Dine with Me 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Kirstie's Handmade Christmas 21:00 Tony Robinson's Gods and Monsters 22:00 Vicky Cristina Barcelona

00:45 Pawn Stars 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Fifth Gear 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Igam Ogam 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 The Milkshake! Show 08:25 Funky Valley 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:50 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 The Gadget Show 12:20 Highland Emergency 12:50 A Boyfriend for Christmas 14:40 All I Want for Christmas 16:25 The Christmas Gift 18:10 Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 NCIS 21:00 NCIS 22:00 Tommy Cooper's Christmas 23:05 The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show

38

The Courier Sunday TV

11th December

00:45 The Football League Show 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 02:30 World Olympic Dreams 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Talking Books 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Fern Britton Meets Russell Watson 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 The Politics Show 14:00 EastEnders 15:55 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 16:25 A Question of Sport 16:55 Frozen Planet 17:55 Songs of Praise 18:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:55 Countryfile 19:55 Strictly Come Dancing The Results 20:30 Antiques Roadshow 21:30 Inspector George Gently 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 2

01:25 Heist 03:10 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Roar 08:30 Arthur 08:50 Dennis and Gnasher 09:05 League of Super Evil 09:15 Jinx 09:35 Wingin' It 10:00 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 13:15 Coast 13:30 Live Athletics 15:15 Live Snooker: UK Championship 19:00 Flog It! 20:00 The Party's Over: How the West Went Bust 21:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:14 Meridian Weather 00:15 Nutty Professor 2: the Klumps 02:10 The Zone 02:10 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Kojak 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Monk 10:30 Horrid Henry 10:40 Clifford's Really Big Movie 12:00 Black Beauty 13:35 ITV News and Weather 13:39 Meridian Weather 13:40 You've Been Framed!

14:10 You've Been Framed!

14:40 The X Factor Final 16:40 Midsomer Murders 18:40 The Unforgettable Larry Grayson 19:05 Meridian News and Weather 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 The Cube 20:30 The X Factor Final Results 22:30 Text Santa: The Launch 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:45 GoldenEye

SUPERBAD Comedy starring Jonah Hill and Michael Cera as Seth and Evan, two boys bonded by their lack of popularity. When the pair finally get invited to a party they embark on a quest to procure alcohol in the hope that it will not only lay to rest their geeky reputation but also improve their chances with the opposite sex.

00:00 Double Jeopardy 02:00 Unmade Beds 03:40 Shameless USA 04:35 Shameless USA 05:30 St Elsewhere 06:15 River Cottage Bites 06:25 Countdown 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 Triathlon 08:30 Adidas Terrex Coast to Coast 09:00 One Tree Hill 09:55 Hollyoaks 12:25 The Big Bang Theory 12:55 The Big Bang Theory 13:30 Shipwrecked: The Island 14:30 The Simpsons 15:00 T4 Stars of 2011 17:20 The Simpsons 17:50 Deal or No Deal 18:45 Elf 20:35 Channel 4 News 21:05 The Political Slot 21:10 4thought.tv 21:15 Japan's Tsunami: Caught on Camera 22:30 Black Mirror: 15 Million Merits 23:50 British Comedy Awards: The Nominations Show

00:10 Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll: The 60s Revealed 01:10 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 Rough Guide to Journeys 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 The Milkshake! Show 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:50 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Funky Valley 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:15 Andre Rieu Live in Dublin 12:15 Ultimate Emergency Bikers 13:15 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 14:15 Charley Boorman's Extreme Frontiers 15:15 A Christmas Visitor 17:00 Christmas with the Kranks 18:50 5 News Weekend 18:55 Wyatt Earp 22:30 Superbad

39

The Courier Monday TV

12th December

00:30 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 01:15 Film 2011 01:55 Holby City 02:55 Bible's Buried Secrets 03:55 You've Been Scammed 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Noise Squad 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Doctors 15:10 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 17:30 Blue Peter Christmas Special 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 How to Survive the Meltdown 22:00 Young Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:00 00:30 01:00 02:40 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:35 07:00 07:10

Rev Never Mind the Buzzcocks Full Frontal Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close Little Robots The Large Family

07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Gimme a Break 08:25 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 Iconicles 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Something Special: Out and About 10:40 Charlie and Lola 10:55 Zingzillas 11:15 Harry and Toto 11:25 Louie 11:35 Octonauts 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Coast 14:15 Trash to Cash 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Coast 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 This World: Return of the Lost Boys of Sudan 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 I Had the X Factor...25 Years Ago: A Wonderland Special 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather

02:10 The Zone 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:50 Kojak 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Murder, She Wrote 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise Kitchen: Stocking the Winter Larder 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Real Thumbelina 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 We Own the Night

JIMMY’S GROWN

YOUR OWN CHRISTMAS DINNER Jimmy Doherty goes behind the large operation to put food on every family's table at Christmas, as workers in UK pudding factories, sprout fields and turkey farms go into overdrive to meet supermarkets' demand. He compares this mass production to the days when everything was home-grown, making his own fizzy booze and Stilton, growing purple carrots and heritage potatoes.

01:00 Rhod Gilbert & the Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst 02:00 American Football Live 05:45 Freesports on 4 06:15 Post Modern Pastimes 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss Australia 10:55 Beeny's Restoration Nightmare 11:55 Heston's Christmas Feast 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:00 Cocoon: the Return 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 River Cottage Christmas 22:00 Jimmy's Grow Your Own Christmas Dinner 23:00 Chris Moyles' Quiz Night 23:50 8 Out of 10 Cats: Best Bits

00:50 South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut 02:25 SuperCasino 05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:15 Nick's Quest 05:40 Divine Designs 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Milkshake! Monkey 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Christmas Songs 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Snowman's Pass 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Charley Boorman's Extreme Frontiers 23:00 Hard Luck

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

13th December

00:05 Outnumbered - The Christmas Special 00:45 The Graham Norton Show 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:40 World's Most Dangerous Roads 03:40 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:10 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Noise Squad 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 15:45 Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 17:30 Helen's Extreme 2012 Adventure: Blue Peter Special 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine: Books - The Last Chapter?

00:20 Mark Zuckerberg: Inside Facebook 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today

04:00 Newsday 04:10 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Gimme a Break 08:25 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 Iconicles 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Something Special: Out and About 10:40 Charlie and Lola 10:55 Zingzillas 11:15 Wibbly Pig 11:25 Louie 11:35 Octonauts 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Coast 14:15 Trash to Cash 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Coast 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Victorian Farm Christmas 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Money 23:00 Life's Too Short 23:30 Newsnight

01:40 The Zone 03:40 Champions League Weekly 04:10 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Murder, She Wrote 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Adventurer's Guide to Britain 21:00 High Stakes 22:00 My Child's Not Perfect 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Rumor Has It..

MY BIG FAT GYPSY CHRISTMAS One-off special following the Irish travelling community during the festive season, featuring their yuletide preparations for 2011, as well as two typically extravagant weddings. Celebrity Big Brother winner Paddy Doherty and his wife also invite the cameras into their Salford home on Christmas Day.

00:40 Random Acts 00:45 My Transsexual Summer 01:45 Little Noise Sessions 02:15 A Room and a Half or a Sentimental Journey Back Home (12A) 04:30 We Need to Talk About Dad 05:25 St Elsewhere 06:15 Stephen Hawking's Universe 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss Australia 10:55 Kirstie and Phil's Perfect Christmas 11:55 Christmas at River Cottage 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:00 Local Hero 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Food Hospital 22:00 My Big Fat Gypsy Christmas 23:00 This Is England '88

00:55 The World of Stupid Criminals 01:25 Impossible?

02:20 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Grey's Anatomy 05:55 Rough Guide to Bang for Your Buck 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Christmas Songs 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 Noel 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How to Take Stunning Pictures 21:00 London: The Inside Story 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

14th December

00:40 Heavenly Creatures 02:15 Weatherview 02:20 Frozen Planet 03:20 The Story of Ireland 04:20 MasterChef: The Professionals 05:20 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Noise Squad 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 17:30 Postcode 17:30 Deadly 60 Bites 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 That's Britain!

21:30 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 22:00 Motorway Cops 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Would I Lie to You?

00:20 01:20 02:55 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:20

Leonardo The Company Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Close

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Gimme a Break 08:25 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 Iconicles 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Something Special: Out and About 10:40 Charlie and Lola 10:55 Zingzillas 11:15 Everything's Rosie 11:25 Octonauts 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Coast 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Victorian Farm Christmas 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Steve Jobs: Billion Dollar Hippy 23:00 Class Dismissed 23:30 Newsnight

01:20 The Zone 03:55 Kojak 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Murder, She Wrote 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Royal Variety Performance 2011 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 American Dreamz

THE ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 2011 Peter Kay hosts the annual event held at the Lowry in Salford Quays, where stars from the world of entertainment perform in the presence of Princess Anne. Music is provided by Barry Manilow, Leona Lewis, Il Divo, Cee Lo Green, Pixie Lott, Hayley Westenra and Britain's Got Talent winner Jai McDowall. Comedy comes from the host himself, as well as Jason Manford, Greg Davies, Tim Minchin and Omid Djalili.

00:10 Random Acts 00:15 The Joy of Teen Sex 01:15 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:15 Sailing 02:40 Offshore Academy 03:10 Beach Volleyball 04:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:30 Blenheim Triathlon 04:55 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 05:20 Scrapheap Challenge 06:15 Stephen Hawking's Universe 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss Australia 10:55 Kirstie and Phil's Perfect Christmas 11:55 River Cottage Christmas Fayre 13:00 Drop Down Menu 13:50 Great Expectations 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 A SuperScrimpers Christmas 22:00 Jamie's Christmas with Bells On 23:00 This Is England '88

00:00 CSI: Miami 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 02:00 SuperCasino 04:50 Animal Rescue Squad 05:05 The Gadget Show 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Christmas Songs 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Mickey Mouse: Have a Laugh 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Farewell Mr Kringle 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 19:55 Cars Toons 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:15 Blood and Bone

42

The Courier Thursday TV

15th December

00:15 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 00:55 Westworld 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 See Hear 02:55 Country Tracks 03:55 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:55 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Noise Squad 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 17:30 Postcode 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 The Manor Reborn 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Up In Flames: Mr Reeves and the Riots

00:20 01:20 02:55 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 04:55 07:00

Leonardo The Company Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Close Little Robots

07:10 Guess with Jess 07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Gimme a Break 08:25 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 Iconicles 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Something Special: Out and About 10:40 Charlie and Lola 10:55 Zingzillas 11:15 Timmy Time 11:25 Louie 11:35 Octonauts 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Coast 14:15 Trash to Cash 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Coast 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Victorian Farm Christmas 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Rev 22:30 Life's Too Short 23:00 Frank Skinner's Opinionated 23:30 Newsnight

01:30 The Zone 03:35 The Jerk 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Murder, She Wrote 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Counting on Christmas: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Without You 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: Peter Andre

IT’S ALL ABOUT AMY

After a busy few weeks, Amy Childs packs for a much-needed holiday to Dubai - or rather, she sits by and watches while her mother Julie does the job for her, ensuring that her security blanket doesn't get left behind. Jetting off, she enjoys a week of fun in the sun, showing off her newly acquired horse-riding skills on a camel and indulging in a spot of belly dancing. Back home, with the lease on her new salon finally agreed, she has an important decision to make - just how pink should the shop sign be?

00:10 Channel 4 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Live from Abbey Roa 02:00 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 02:15 Koko Bop: Christmas Special 02:40 The Ice Storm 04:35 Stephen Hawking's Universe 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss Australia 10:55 Kirstie and Phil's Perfect Christmas 11:55 River Cottage Christmas 13:00 Drop Down Menu 13:55 Oliver Twist 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Kevin's Grand Design 22:00 Living with the Amish 23:00 This Is England '88

01:15 Poker: The Big Game 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Wildlife SOS 05:35 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Christmas Songs 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Mickey Mouse: Have a Laugh 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 The Christmas List 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 19:55 Cars Toons 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 New Highland Emergency 21:00 Fairground Attractions 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 It's All About Amy

43

Friday, December 9, 2011

AWNINGS

ACCOMODATION

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Small, economic family run hotel, situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35 € per room, per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations. (45)

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Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca.

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

Brand New Clothing for sale, 10.000 pieces in mixed childrens, ladies and mens wear. Ideal for market traders. Bargain price 1 € per item. Call now on 651885200. (45)

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AIR CONDITIONING

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar Christian CommunityChurch@gmail.c om or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009SG/A

CARS FOR SALE

CHURCH SERVICES

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BOATS

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Special Christmas events: United carol service, Torrevieja, 7pm, December 24, Torrevieja Christian Fellowship, Avenida de las Cortes Valencianes 68. ICA carol service and Christtingle ceremony, December 18. IAC Sunday School children's programme, "Angel Training School and Christmas Service, Christmas Day, 11am.

Ford Focus 1.6 auto triptronic 5 door new model 2008, 1 owner 65,000 kms FSH, fully equiped light metalic blue, 10,450 euros - Manual model in stock 2006, 7750 euros el 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars .com Ford Fiesta 1.4 Trend 2003, 71,000 kms 5 dr Air con, CD, Fully serviced, lovely condition 4450 eurosTel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Ford Focus 1.6 Trend 1 owner 50,000 kms, fully equipped, met burgundy, 7750 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Going Home RHD vehicles FOR SALE or EXCHANGE Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars.com Tata 4 x 2 2 litre TD EX 7 seater 2002, 86,000 km, fully serviced, alloys, aircon, bullbar side steps, CD etc, silver 3.450 euros Tel 600

Mitsubishi Carisma 1.6 RHD SPANISH REG, 1997 5 door hatch 1500 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwrceurocars .com RHD Pegeot 406 LX 2 LITRE HDI 12th month 2001, 76,000 miles MOT, TAXED, Met Burgundy 1650 EUROS Tel 600 726 221 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars.com 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com Nissan Micra Cabriolet 1.4 90bhp 2006, 2 owners 84,000km, FSH, stunning car with solid power roof finished in metallic burnt orange, alloys, aircon, blue tooth etc etc 7250 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com Mercedes! Mercedes! good selection of Mercedes over 10 different models in stock new and used vehicles sourced Tel 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwr eurocars.com Ford Focus Est 1.6 Vetec 09 2001, Black, Alloys, A/C, 3950 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars .com Renault Clio 2000 model 1.25 5 door, white, fully serviced 2500 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars .com

APPLIANCE REPAIRS

FOR SALE Two orange gas cylinders.

One full, one half full. 25€ each or 45€ for pair. Tel: 672192482. Santiago de la Ribera.

Ketter large sturdy plastic shed with windows, floor and shelf. 6’x6’ excellent condition 175€ 966 842 326 (41) Two single beds, both with foldaway beds underneath.

50 euros each or 90 euros for all four beds.

Tel: 672192482. Santiago de la

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Ribera. Buyer must collect.

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

EYELASHS

Architect

MOBILE GARAGE SERVICES

BUILDER / CONSTRUCTION

ALARMS

AWNINGS / POOL COVERS

CAR SALES

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

AUCTION

CAR MECHANIC

COMPUTERS

44

Friday, December 9, 2011

PROPERTY FOR RENT Ref. 91, This lovely one bedroom apartment is on the fifth (top) floor of block one of the Miramar development - but don't worry about climbing the stairs, as there is a lift! A parking space is included in the key operated underground garage. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term only. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops.

Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Long term or Short term available. €795PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. €300PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. €425PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis.

The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10

CREATIVE CONCRETE

HEATING

DAMP PROOFING

minutes from the beach. €250PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 702, A lovely 2 bedroom apartment in a quiet area of Torrevieja yet within walking distance to local beaches and amenities. It’s also less than an hour’s drive from both Alicante and Murcia San Javier Airports. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 135, An outstanding two bedroom villa with one double and one twin room on the VillaMartin golf complex. There is a very pleasant terrace off the main bedroom and from the sun terrace on the roof the views are excellent. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 04, A 2 bedroom apartment one street back from the famous Cabo Roig strip.

There is a selection of local shops, restaurants and bars on the doorstep with the shopping strip only 400 metres away. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 92, A lovely three bedroom apartment on the ground floor of block one of the Miramar develop-

FURNITURE

ments. A small balcony runs the width of the lounge area above the small private garden area at the front of the property. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 104, Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance to the Friday Market, Town Centre and the beach. Close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. €350PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 151, Beautiful Family 3 Bedroom Villa.

Well equipped American kitchen, double bedroom and bathroom. A further 2 bedrooms, bathroom, large terrace with sun loungers, table and chairs, bbq, and beautiful sea view. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A.Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Luxury appartments, 2/3 bedrooms in San Miguel De Salinas. Floor heating, Elevator, Roof terrace with swimmingpool, from 385 euros/month Also holiday rentals and appartments in San Miguel de Salinas from 350 euros/month. 966 723 437 and 616 487 493

PROPERTY FOR SALE

Altomar II in Gran Alacant Investment opportunity…

82.000 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, lounge diner, ind. Kitchen, Glazed in Galleria, S/Facing, extra storage Fully furnished, Private parking, Com pools Ring 627 711 155 to view.

Duplex in Monte y Mar, GA 2 Bed, 1 Bath, ground floor with views Fully furnished, A/Con, Heating, Ceiling Fans, English TV, garden, Communal pool, for apt please call 966 699 136 to view only 115.000 ono REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated parking, walking distance to Shops bars restaurants etc.

627 711 155 Calling all serious Buyers. I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant.

Everything included in price, fantastic Alicante/sea views.

As a starting price I am look-

MASSAGE

Detached villa with large oasis pool. Situated on first Urb. In Gran Alacant. 500m2 plot, electric gates, alarmed 3 beds, 3 baths, fully furnished. Recently reduced for a quick sale Now only 260.000 euros Call 680 333 242 quoting ref 33

ENERGY SAVER

FAST BROADBAND

ELECTRICIAN

LOCKSMITH

NEWS AGENTS

FISHING

HOUSE CLEANRANCES

PLUMBERS

PETS

SECURITY

SEWING

45

Friday, December 9, 2011 ing in the region of 265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242 Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished.

Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing.

Lovely well maintained terraced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to shops, bars restaurants. Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve. Private parking, call 680 333 242 for more details. 133.000 euros Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram

PLASTERER

and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbanisation Please ring 966 699 136 after 6pm (english & spanish spoken) Now only 125.000 euros excellent value in Gran Alacant.

Quick sale needed. 199.000 euros ono Detached property in Puerto Marina. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, Immaculately furnished Alarmed, Central heating, Log fire, Hot & Cold air con, open fields to the rear, Private parking, Communal pools.

966.699.478 after 5 pm.

Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant 209,000 euros 3 Double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes 2 bathrooms, spacious kitchen with galleria Lounge complete with chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private Parking.

A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2 built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire, Under build, Alarmed, Mature Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates.

260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken.

Walking distance to all local amenities in GA Detached Villa with large pool.

Decoratively tiled Garden, complete with BBQ. Est. palm & fruit trees. 3 bed, 3 bath, Fully Furnished including all electrical appliances.

Quick sale needed, 270.000 euros, but very negotiable.

SIGN WRITING

PERSONAL

REPAIRS

For appointment to view call 966 699 478 after 5pm Top floor duplex in Puerto Marina, G/Alacant 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, loungediner, glazed-in porch, large roof-top solarium with views, Top quality furniture and appliances included. Secure private parking, communal pools, 108,000 euros. If you would like to view call 627 711 155 for an immediate appointment.

LIMITED EDITION One of only a few bungalows in Gran Alacant. Top of the range furniture and appliances included. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large kitchen, leading to galleria, huge roof top solarium with fantastic views of Alicante and mountains. Electronic gates leading to garage, 500m2 plot, 10x5 pool with irrigated gardens By appointment only, ring 680333242 325.000 ono Large family Home in Izla de Izaro, G.A (bajo) 4 bed, 3 bath, stunning communal pool with Jacuzzi & water features. Children’s play area and fantastic communal gardens. Very high standard throughout, Large converted under build & garage, elec. Gates Alarmed, A/con, outside kitchen and bathroom, 399.000 ono. To view call 966699136 after 5pm.

Monte Y Mar - Gran Alacant Detached Villa with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge-diner, front porch, Large solarium with views.

400m2 plot Low maintenance irrigated gardens, Private pool & Parking.

Tastefully furnished throughout and everything included.

Recently Reduced to 239.000 euros. For more details call 627.711.155 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bath-

REMOVALS

WANTED

TRANSLATOR

Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, accident claims, legalise land. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor.

(45)

WANTED A private buyer looking to buy a cheap car directly from the owner (middleman please do not call)Tel 638 811 881(43) Guitar / vocalist, song writer wishes to find musicians (percussionist, key-board, bass). Original material (songs ready), joining or forming a band. Phone 693371136, e-mail chuandcho@aol.com (42)

WIG SPECIALIST

SURVEYS REMOVALS

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

rooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace. This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (51)

46

Friday, December 9, 2011

The ABC of football TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME WITH OUR QUIZ WITH A DIFFERENCE WHICH A name is shared by topflight clubs in England, Argentina and Ukraine?

AND which H former Rangers and WHICH O this season joined Holland winger is current manager Newcastle from Manchester United there? on a five-year contract?

AND which B 112-cap ex-international is current manager of the Ukraine national team?

WHICH I midfielder won 53 caps for WHICH P club holds the record for England between 1992 and 2000?

Uruguayan domestic titles?

TWO in one...which VW at Celtic is one of 12 children - another of them being Inter’s McDonald Mariga, on loan to Real Sociedad?

WHICH Q is the ungrammaticallooking home ground of Seattle Sounders in the MLS?

WHICH C made its only World Cup finals in 1986 and failed to score a goal?

WHICH R was Denmark’s player of the year in 2010, when he also played at the World Cup?

WHICH D is the home city of Diego Maradona’s new club Al-Wasl?

WHICH E plays its international gams at the enormous Burg Al Arab stadium?

WHICH S in the French premier league was founded by members of the Peugeot family and is now owned by the motor giant?

WHICH F is the current captain of Scotland?

WHICH J national team sadly lost one of its World Cup stars this season when he collapsed and died in training, aged 34?

WHAT K is cutely the commonest surname in Hungary, shared by several star players in its history?

WHICH L club is famously supported by home-city band the Kaiser Chiefs?

WHICH M, who sounds like something in a make-up bag, made his WHICH notable T club shares its Italy debut v Northern Ireland in city with the more-successful 2009?

Juventus?

WHICH N is the biggest football sta- BUT which U is the only club from dium in Europe with a capacity of the town of Udine near the 99,354?

Slovenian border?

AS well as S above, what is the other French top-flight club which ends with an X? TWO in one...which £18m YZ was disgracefully booed by fans on his return to the Russian team this season for joining the Largely Muslim club Anzhi Makhachkala?

ANSWERS Arsenal; Oleg Blokhin; Canada; Dubai; Egypt; Darren Fletcher; Groningen; Peter Huistra; Paul Ince; Japan; Kiss; Leeds United; Guiseppe Mascara; Nou Camp, Barcelona; Gabriel Obertan; Penarol; Qwest Field; Dennis Rommedahl; Sochaux; Torino; Udinese; Victor Wanyama; Bordeaux; Yuri Zhirkov.

WHICH G gave Liverpool striker Luis Suarez his first start as a teenager in the Dutch premier league before moving to Ajax?

MONTE TOAST DAD SANCHEZ WITH SEVEN UP! Todo Deporte 0 CD Montesinos 7 SUNDAY’S Los Montesinos ‘derby’ produced a very clear winner – as well as a baby daughter for club captain Sanchez, who was in hospital with his wife as she gave birth.

Todo Deporte, nominally the ‘home’ team, made few friends off the field by charging for entry –

something they don’t normally do.

The match itself was, as the scoreline suggests, very one-sided with Monte taking an early lead from a Vazquinho header. Further goals followed from Chulo and Dimitri before half-time. ] The second half was more of the same, and it was just a question of time before more goals went in. Vazquinho, Macan (2), and Andres rounded up the scoring.

CD Montesinos manager Juanpe was not entirely happy with his side’s performance. "We did not play as a team today,’’ he complained. ‘’Although we have some very good individual players who can win games for us, there will be better teams we have to play against and we will need to improve."

There are no matches this weekend at this level, but the season resumes on December 18 when Monte are at home to Bigastro. Kick off is set for 4pm.

Fore further information, visit www.cdmontesinos.com or email thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or call 637 869 602. In association with CajaMurcia

Monte’s Chulo takes on the Deporte defence

47

Friday, December 9, 2011

No such thing as a cert, Gary!

STEVE BOTT reports GARY Lineker reckons England are "almost certain" to qualify for the knockout stages in the 2012 European Championship finals.

That's showing massive disrespect to France and Sweden. They are both very capable teams and while people remember nothing more than the calamitous exploits of the French in the last World Cup, England weren't too hot in that tournament either and had more than a few problems on and off the field themselves!

It is amazing what two half decent results in a couple of friendlies does to rekindle the hopes of England supporters everywhere. I was suitably impressed myself but refuse to get carried away until an England captain picks up the European Championship trophy or World Cup at the end of the competition.

Forty-five years is a long time to wait so a few more months won't test my patience any further. Let's just wait and see and live in hope that Fabio Capello and England build on those two results against Spain and Sweden.

They are more than capable of doing it with or without

Wayne Rooney. He WILL be banned for two of those opening group games so it is a great chance for England to prove they are more than a one-man team.

Just as with Manchester United, his club side, folk say that if Rooney doesn't perform United and England don't.

Rooney is a great player, possibly set to be one of the best ever in the world but England have loads more good, quality players like Rio Ferdinand, Jermain Defoe, Scott Parker and the rest so let's get behind them and help produce the sort of good, solid and dare I say it, attractive, performances that not only win pots but are pleasing to the eye and heart.

No doubt Mr Lineker reckons England are going to walk their World Cup qualifying group too. Well that gets under way next September and if they do well in the Euros there is no reason why England should not progress smoothly to the 2014 World Cup final stages.

But I am old enough to remember Poland and the like and more recent embarrassing performances against so called minnows. That's why I say: "Come on England.

Show me some silverware!"

Gary Lineker: Disrespect

BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD? EUR JOKING!

By STEVE BOTT

ENGLAND'S top two Premier League teams knocked out of the Champions League does nothing to back up the claim that it is the best league in the world.

Arsenal and Chelsea are left to fly the flag for England while Manchester City and United will have to be content with places as also-rans in the Europa Cup. That is something they will see as a hindrance rather than a consolation as they chase the Premier League title - City for the first time in 44 years.

It looks tied on now for either Real Madrid or Barcelona to lift the Champions League crown. I previously fancied Bayern Munich strongly but their defeat at the Etihad to City knocked my confidence in them somewhat.

City will feel particularly aggrieved at their failure to qualify after battling back from being almost dead and buried with victories at Villarreal and that one over Bayern.

But United have no excuses after going down to an early goal in Basel and then failing to find the net until late in the game by which

time they were 2-0 down despite dominating much of the proceedings.

Their incredible naivety in their

Bringing it back home

Iniesta becomes Albacete’s biggest shareholder ANDRES INIESTA GAVE a little something back to his local community — by becoming the biggest shareholder in a Spanish third division side.

Albacete Balompié announced yesterday that the Barcelona star, who spent two years with the club as a child, snapped up €420,000 worth of shares in the latest public offering to stabilise the club’s finances.

The cash injection will give Albacete a major lift as they look to quickly bounce back to Spain’s Segunda Division follow-

England will come as no consolation whatsoever to United.

Pride of Real and Barca cruised to 3-0 Lyon: and 4-0 wins over Ajax and The BATE Borisov respectively but French Inter will be hugely disappointed side have after a 2-1 defeat at home to plenty to CSKA Moscow. Lyon on the celebrate other hand will be highly delighted after thrashing Dinamo Zagreb 7-1.

Inter still managed to top their group though and Lyon go through as runners-up to Real.

No such luck for Spain's other two teams as Valencia missed out after that 3-0 beating at Chelsea and Villarreal earned that unenviable tag of becoming the first Spanish team not to win a point in the group games.

CSKA Moscow's win at Inter saw them climb from bottom of the table to clinch a place in the knockout stages while that seven-goal haul for Lyon put first two group games in not playing their strongest sides has them in the elite group of teams rebounded on them big style and with the biggest victories in the Wayne Rooney's ban reduction for competition.

ing their relegation last season.

Born in the small town of Fuentealbilla, Iniesta was on Albacete’s books for two seasons before he was spotted and whisked away to Barcelona’s La Masia academy at age 12.

ABC.es reports that the player’s father, Jose Antonio Iniesta, will join the Albacete board and is considered a strong candidate to be elected as vice-president at the club’s AGM. Founded in 1940, Albacete have plied their trade in Spain’s second tier for most of the last 20 years though they exceeded expectations after securing promotion in 1990/1991, finishing seventh on their first season

A BRIVE ENCOUNTER WITH CLASS RUGBY THERE’S another rare chance to see top-class rugby in this area of Spain tomorrow (Saturday), when La Vila play French club Brive in the Amlin Cup. Kick off is at 4pm at Villajoyosa Rugby Stadium. See you there!

Meanwhile, ITV Orihuela RFC are hoping the current break in fixtures will leave their first-team players in peak condition for the tough games ahead against the two Murcia sides in the in La Liga.

They survived five years in the top flight before relegation in 1995/96, and aside from a two-year

league.

Next week, they visit UCAM Murcia and then, straight after Christmas, they host Murcia XV. Meanwhile, there’s an auction at the So Bar in Benimar at 6.30pm today (Friday) of three signed rugby shirts from the recent International Rugby 7’s tournament in Elche. Proceeds will go to The Butterfly Children, DEBRA. Call Garry on 692 767 242 for further information. return to the top from 2003-2005, stayed in the Segunda until their relegation in bottom place at the end of last season.

48

Friday, December 9, 2011

CARLOS THE CACKLE GOING THEIR SEPARATE WAYS: Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini let Carlos Tevez stew - and the Argentinian troublemaker is now heading for Mancini’s homeland

Mancini has last laugh as Tevez heads for Milan WHAT do you want for Christmas?

How about a cut-price Carlos Tevez sticking out of your stocking at the San Siro?

AC Milan are ready to take troublesome Tevez on loan and then pay out 20 million euros for the bargy-ing Argie.

That's quite a drop from the £50 million Manchester City were shouting about wanting for him when all this started. Since then, reports Tevez has proved he really is too hot to handle. He'd be far better employed stoking the furnace in Hell!

It’s a pity as Milan are my favourite foreign team , but if he gets back to doing what he does best, most clubs would take a chance on Tevez - especially at that price.

City paid neighbours Manchester United £25.5 million for him – so, allied to that initial asking price of £50m, those figures show just how much City want to

STEVE BOTT

get rid.

I like Roberto Mancini. Manchester City's Italian boss grows on me day by day, match by match and press conference after press conference. And that's saying something coming from a rabid Red Devil like me!

Asked about Tevez and Kolo Toure on Tuesday, Mancini gave us a smashing snippet of his Italian pidgin English when he said of Toure: "Is OK. Kolo he say to me just today 'Is OK boss!'

Well, that's it then, isn't it? Everything is OK at City and in Roberto's world!

Toure is apparently misbehaving again and moaning about his treatment following that ban he had to serve for taking some dodgy substance the powers that be weren't too happy with.

Back to Tevez and what will happen after he does join Milan or whoever? Will he demand even more money in a year or two - and are people finally wise to him and prepared to do what Mancini has done?

Namely to ostracise him and let him stew till they get something approaching want they want. Or should you

give in to his demands?

I back Mancini to the hilt, even though City stand to take a £5.5 million plus drop on Tevez's transfer fee alone. Let's face it, money is no object to City anyway.

They can buy who they want as long as the player wants to come to them. The purchase of Sergio Aguero proved that.

I bet they could even get Lionel Messi if they really wanted to!

City remain five points clear at the top of the Premier League - which ain't that much, really. Two wins for the opposition or two defeats for them and they are overtaken. And if they wanted any warning, just look at Tottenham.

For all their in and out form in the league and Europe, Spurs are still within striking distance of City behind United in third place - and after this weekend City's lead will be just two points after they lose to Chelsea and United and Spurs beat Wolves and Stoke respectively.