The Courier Week 43

Edition 43

www.thecourier.es

Friday, December 16, 2011

HOTLINE TO HELL EXCLUSIVE by DONNA GEE

A SHOCKED expat couple were subjected to a deluge of obscenities and threats during an ongoing battle with Movistar over a faulty telephone line.

Ivie and Diana Davies of El Raso understandably switched to another supplier after being called “sh*t’’ and told to “F**k off’’ by a customer service operator during a 44-day period in which they had no fixed-line service.

During that time, they contacted Movistar no fewer than THIRTY NINE times while the problem persisted.

And in a damning indictment of the Telefonica-linked service, Diana fumed: “They should be nationally exposed, not only their comrepair. When my husband address, he would make our plete lack of customer servresponded, “What part of six lives very difficult. ice, but also for total incomdays is the two?”, she dis“At no time during the 28 petence.’’ connected the call. minutes duration of the call The problem began on “Worse was to come. On was the verbal abuse and October 25, when the couple’s telephone line stopped October 31, a male operator expletives prompted or called my husband “stupid’’ encouraged by us. functioning.

“Ivie did ask the operator Diana told The Courier: “It and said he was “sh*t” and for his name. He refused to only came back into use should “f***k off”.

“When this individual was give it – and that's when he some 44 days later after we had cancelled our Movistar reminded that the calls were received more obscenities. contract and taken one out being recorded, he repeated But he had an Eastern Bloc accent and almost certainly the expletives. with Orange.

“I took over the call and was not Spanish or English’’.

“It took 39 emails and daily Diana and Ivie subsecalls by my husband from his was given a barrage a fourmobile to 1004 and 1002. letter words. I said I would quently contacted the conAfter six days he was report him to the Guardia. He sumer organisation OMIC informed by a customer serv- responded by threatening (Organismos Publicos de ice operator that we would me, saying that as he knew Consumo) but all they have to wait 48 hours for a my husband’s NIE and our received was an automated

‘S**t’ customers threatened in four-letter Movistar fury reply giving their address.

Ironically, exactly one year ago Diana and Ivie lost their landline for nine days with exactly the same symptoms.

At the same time, Ivie received over 58,000 unsolicited Arabic emails in one evening, on his then telefonica.net address.

Diana added: “This was reported to them and, again, nothing was done. The email address had to be changed as the emails kept coming in their hundreds each day.’’

Not surprisingly, their patience finally snapped.

Diana added: “It is well known that Movistar have little or no customer respect or service. There are a multitude of stories of bad service, even the Spanish nationals who we have spoken to agree with this statement.’’

Ivie registered an official complaint with Movistar “regarding the disgraceful manner the customer services treated my wife and

Turn to Page 14

Diana and Ivie Davies: They filed an official complaint

IF you are collecting plastic bottle tops for the Help Aitana campaign, The Courier and Professional Business Support’s offices at c/Luis Canovas Martinez 1, Aguas Nuevas in Torrevieja, will arrange distribution. Call 966 923 963 or 617 935 721 for further information about drop-offs. Campaign update on Page 6.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

BEAUTY AND THE PISTE...THE SKI-QUEL TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 1003 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Therese Guardamar, La Marina, Santa pola, Gran Alacant Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Harold Heys Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Picture of the week

96 692 1003

Torrevieja music centre to play a private tune?

Affiliations

PRIVATE finance may be used to finally get the €36m Torrevieja music auditorium and conservatory opened.

José Císcar, councillor for Education and Training at the Generalitat Valenciana, has indicated that a public-private finance deal could be on the cards.

Ciscar told Información newspaper that he could not go into too much detail but he believed there would be a publicprivate partnership, saying: “Because of the synergies between public and private, projects tend to get efficient, effective, resource optimisation, which is what we most need right now. The bet is (for) a public-private partnership.”

However, Ciscar refused to be drawn on timing and would not commit to a date for the long-awaited opening.

The auditorium, which was completed in March, has opened its doors only once – for the gala opening on March 25. An anticipated programme of cultural events failed to materialise after the high-profile opening and the 1,452 seat auditorium still sits empty nine months after completion.

The conservatory, which has space for 240 students in its 16 instrumental classrooms, 12 chamber music classrooms and 16 classrooms for teaching non-instrumental classes, has never been used.

As education councillor, Ciscar’s main area of interest is the conservatory and he pality there are 17,000 indicated that the Generalitat from other countries. remains committed to the Apart from the Brits, project and to making the there are 1,600 Germans school not just nationally but and 1,200 Dutch among internationally important. He said he was optimistic that the town’s 76 resident the conservatory would be nationalities. operating soon.

Brits cop a bit of Rojales force Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

ROJALES pólice are becoming more international.

The town’s 9,000 British residents, three times as many as Spaniards, have been taken into consideration, and the new police

uniform features both English and Spanish markings.

Rojales has one of the highest percentages of foreigners in the whole of Spain. For every 5,000 Spaniards in the munici-

Monday Sunny High Temperature: 14°C RealFeel: 13°C

Friday Partly Cloudy High Temperature: 14°C RealFeel: 9°C

Saturday Sunny High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 16°C

Sunday Clouds and sun High Temperature: 15°C RealFeel: 12°C

Tuesday Rain and drizzle High Temperature: 17°C RealFeel: 15°C

Wednesday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 19°C

Thursday Sunny High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 20°C

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Friday, December 16, 2011

AIRBRIDGE ROW: THE PAY-OFF

GREASING THE PALMA RYANAIR flights from Alicante’s El Altet airport are to be slashed as the conflict over the use of passenger bridges at the airport continues.

Plane talking: Michael O’Leary

Pint of Guinness for a euro, Mr O’Leary?

MICHAEL O’LEARY, WITH HIS FAMED SENSE OF HUMOUR, WILL NO DOUBT PICK UP SOME FAMILIAR RYANAIR VIBES FROM THIS JOKE...

MICHAEL O’Leary goes to the bar of a Dublin hotel and asked for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nods and says, "That will be one euro please, Mr.O’Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replies, "That's very cheap," and hands over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition," says the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland."

"That is remarkable value," Michael comments.

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.That will be three euros please."

O'Leary scowls, but pays up. He takes his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" says the barman.

"That'll be an extra two euros. You could have prebooked the seat, and it would have only cost you a euro."

"I think you may to be too big for the seat, sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please" Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small. "Nobody would fit in that little frame," he complains.

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of

for euros for your seat, sir" O'Leary swears to himself, but pays up. "I see you have brought your laptop with you," adds the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be three euros."

O'Leary walks back to the bar, slams his drink on the counter, and yells: "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be two euros please." O'Leary's face turns red with rage."Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do, Mr. O'Leary," "I've had enough, What sort of hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second."

"I will never use this bar again."

"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one euro".

Submitted by FREDDIE and CAROL SAMRAI

And, to rub salt in the wound for tourist businesses, the airline will instead carry passengers to one of the Costa Blanca’s main holiday destination rivals, Palma de Mallorca. On Tuesday, the budget airline’s boss, Michael O’Leary, announced he will cut Ryanair’s routes to Alicante

BY HALF this summer, and only five aircraft will be left at budge on its stance over the El Altet base.

Four routes are to be security bridges is likely cost scrapped completely, includ- not only the airport but the ing London Gatwick, and Costa Blanca tourist industry another 14 routes that were dear.

Ryanair’s traffic to the airsuspended for the winter will port is expected to fall to two not be reinstated.

Frequency on a further 19 million passengers, down international routes, many to from 3.5 million, with the loss the UK, is also to be cut. of 1,500 jobs and a drop in The airport’s refusal to tourist trade.

Ryanair Alicante trade switching to Mallorca It is estimated the move could cost AENA, the company that runs El Altet, €30million a year in benefits.

O’Leary maintains it will have no negative impact on the airline’s finances as new routes will be introduced to other airports instead.

Palma de Mallorca, a direct rival of the Costa

Blanca for tourist traffic, will be a big beneficiary of the cuts at El Altet, with four of the aircraft from Alicante being moved to start a new base for the airline on the island.

Ryanair has said it will carry 2.8 million passengers a year to Palma de Mallorca, delivering up to 2,800 jobs.

Charities to get a slice of Stuart’s Xmas sugar cake

Village gets blues over the Smurfs THE small village of Júzcar in A n d a l u c i a turned blue six months ago when it was chosen by Sony to be the first Smurf village for the world premiere of the film The Smurfs 3D. Now inhabitants are to decide whether to keep their village blue or return it to its original, pristine white. Going blue has

been good for the village, with an estimated 80,000 tourists visiting since it found Smurf fame.

A vote will be held on Sunday to decide the future colour of the village.

The town hall has promised to pay for paint – either to turn the village back into a traditional pueblo blanco or to upkeep the blue.

A CHRISTMAS Cake with a difference is the star attraction in a charity raffle that’s been organised by La Plaza bar in Los Montesinos.

Local resident Stuart Taylor, who trained as a patissier at the prestigious Savoy Hotel in London, before owning award-winning hotels and restaurants in the UK, came up with the idea of making a Christmas Cake, totally out of sugar.

And that includes the delicately-made flowers, which took some eight weeks to craft individually by hand.

The cake will be the first prize when the raffle is drawn next Friday, December 23, at 8pm at La Plaza, with the proceeds going to the Paul Cunningham Nurses and the Butterfly children’s charity.

“It looks almost too good to eat,” says Stuart, “but if it raises a lot of money for two worthwhile causes, I’ll be very happy.

“I’ve not made a Christmas Cake like this for the best part of 20 years, and I’ve even surprised myself to find out that I’ve not lost the knack of doing it, though I’m at last pleased to give my eyes a bit of a rest!”

He added: “From what I know, these kinds of cakes are unique here in Spain - and it’s generated a lot of interest from Spanish people who can’t believe that all the flowers are made out of sugar”.

Stuart has also started to pass on his 40 years of experience in sugarcraft and cake-making to local people, who he says are eager to learn, though a lot of time and patience is needed.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Hail the spirit of Kingdom Cam! THERE are times when I am actually proud to be British, and one of those rare occasions came last week when Cameron and David Cameron put two finThatcher: They gers up at the EU and told alone had the them exactly where to go. guts to show the What a shame that previous continentals the prime ministers didn't have bulldog spirit the guts to do the same thing and show the continentals a bit of bulldog spirit.

The only one who did was Margaret Thatcher, who won for us a big rebate.

But Cameron was really trapped between a rock and a hard place over last week's negotiations. He knew he couldn't agree to anything which resembled a Treaty rewrite without putting it before the British people. And he knows only too well exactly what would happen if the public were ever given the chance to go to the polls in an EU referendum.

Can you imagine it? We Brits would give the EU such a raspberry it would be heard right across the Channel. And it would show how out-of-step politicians are.

That's why Hell would freeze over before we get the chance to vote on an EU issue. On some occasions I think it's a shame that we haven't a political system like Switzerland, where the public get the chance to vote on national issues.

But let's look at what would happen in Britain if we got the chance to vote on individual matters of policy.

We would be out of the EU, hanging would be restored, there would be no more immigration, we would vote to end the Human Rights Act, certain benefits would be slashed to next to nothing, illegals would be sent packing, and overseas aid would be cut.

Given the choice of spending money to benefit someone else by raising taxes and the majority would probably opt to cut tax and reduce services - until those cuts started to affect people personally.

That's why, on balance, it probably is better to avoid such referendums, which probably bring out the most selfish in the majority.

So my advice to politicians, for what it's worth, is to avoid the arrogance in believing that you always know best and to listen to the British people more.

And perhaps to question whether we really need to pour in hundreds of millions of pounds to keep us in the EU and whether that money would be better spent within the shores of Britain.

Euthanasia THERE is one highly controversial subject where I believe a referendum would be the right course, and that concerns euthanasia.

How many of you saw last week's heart-wrenching Sky TV news bulletin of the 62-year-old woman with only weeks to live who had made the decision she wanted to die with dignity?

She desired to have a painless exit from life within the UK, but because any doctor assisting her would be prosecuted, she had to travel to Switzerland to end her life.

Before she left, she was interviewed by a Sky TV reporter and accused British politicians of being cowards in persist-

ently avoiding the issue.

She said they were prepared to debate and decide on such relative trivia as banning foxhunting to prevent animal cruelty, while pretending that the present law making assisting suicide illegal was acceptable.

It is so easy for a fit and healthy person to ignore the issue, but attitudes would certainly change if that individual faced a painful terminal illness.

People have the right to decide when and how they die. Of course there must be safeguards to prevent unscrupulous relatives putting pressure on a person to end his or her life for financial advantage, but people should have the choice to decide for themselves - it is not for politicians or religious pressure groups to make the rules.

questions whether, if a racist attack happens "in reverse", the attackers are treated more leniently.

I wonder what would have happened had the attackers been white and kicked a coloured girl relentlessly, shouting racist abuse. Police would undoubtedly have brought charges involving racial aggravation, so what political agenda is at work here?

Has Britain got to the point where minorities can get away with anything and everything for the sake of not rocking the racist boat?

Magistrates and judges really must toughen up, especially when it involves cases where people commit offences while fuelled by alcohol.

Why? Because last year more than a million people were admitted to hospital in the UK with alcohol-related conditions, doubling the figure in seven years - a national disgrace. The figures relate to people being admitted to hospital through alcohol-related diseases or injuries. It shows an appalling spiral of irresponsibility among people in Britain and judges, magistrates and politicians must all do their part in turning a frightening tide.

CAT INHERITS ÂŁ10 MILLION

Unprovoked attack REGULAR readers of this column will know how strongly I feel about judges and magistrates dishing out soft sentences against offenders. Because they have been soft for so long, it has given people in the UK the idea that they can do practically anything and get away with a meaningless sentence.

It's that belief which led people to be drawn into the riots instead of showing restraint and walking away.

The Sun newspaper has now joined the campaign to urge magistrates and judges to toughen up.

The latest case they highlight involved a gang of drunken Somalian Muslim girls who kicked and punched a 22-yearold white woman, calling her 'white bitch' and 'white slag' in a completely unprovoked attack. She was kicked black and blue in the attack which lasted for an estimated 13 minutes.

The woman believed she was going to die as one girl after another viciously kicked her.

The judge did not jail the attackers. Instead, he gave them suspended sentences and ordered three of them to undertake community work.

The judge said that they were Muslims and unused to drink and this was a mitigating factor.

Incredibly, police did not charge the girls with racial aggravation.

This sentence was wrong on several counts. It gives the wrong message that anyone involved in such a vicious attack can escape jail. It sends a message that there is somehow an excuse for violence through alcohol - and it

AND what was the news story which got up my nose the most in the past week? That a cat inherited ten million pounds from its stupidly rich owner.

No, not in animal potty Britain for a change, but in Italy, where the cat has inherited homes across the country and a portfolio in shares, simply because the woman owner had no-one to leave her fortune to.

Incredibly, this cat is not the richest in the world, there are two others which have even more money.

I have nothing but contempt for people who are so selfish or ignorant that they would leave such wealth to an animal rather than do some real good in the world with the money.

When I ran a Christmas appeal in my newspaper in the UK calling for gifts to help the poor, the elderly, needy children and animals, it was always animals which received the greatest volume of gifts. And guess which UK charities claw in the most cash from donors? Yes, those caring for animals rather than people.

Says a lot for the human race, doesn't it?

Friday, December 16, 2011

iF you’re wondering why Bev’s Boobs have suddenly become Donna’s Boobs, it’s because Courier Editor Donna Gee made a bit of a rick in last week’s paper. She unwittingly published a half-edited version of Bev Ballesteros’s final column - and prompted a light-hearted e-mailed rap over the knuckles from bossy Bev. “Thanks, Donna, for making a mess of the last of my boobs. I feel deflated!’’ she wrote. “ As the saying goes, it's not over

until the fat lady sings. Well I'm in full soprano, so how about printing it again, but this time the right way up?!

“Also, Andres and I would like to wish my friends and Courier readers a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Feliz Navidad y un prospero año nuevo.’’

Anyway, with no more ado, and apologies to all involved, we print last week’s Bev’s Boobs column as it SHOULD have appeared (with a new headline).

I SUSPECT that all the boobs Andres and I make may be a genetic thing. Mum obviously passed down the ability to ‘mord wix’, but my dad has had a hand in it as well.

I’ll come on to that in a minute, but first I must tell you about the mother of all cockups.

In Spain in the early ‘70s, land was often bought by families as an investment.

My husband Andres’ dad and a friend bought five decent sized plots each near Torrevieja, but in an insignificant area in the nearby countryside.

One day the friend told Andres' dad that he was going to build houses on the land he had purchased and sell them. He asked my father-in-law-to-be if he would come into the enterprise with him and share the profits.

Andres' dad said "No, I’ll not bother. I want to keep the land for my children.’’

The friend was…Señor Justo Quesada, the founder and developer of Ciudad Quesada. Enough said.

As for my own dad, he is, and always has been, animal crackers. A British trait in gen-

eral, I think.

One day, in the late ‘60s, when the laws on keeping certain animals as pets were a lot more relaxed, he came home with a baby monkey!

My mum, heavily pregnant with her third child , was livid - but her Justo Quesada: mothering instinct kicked in and she succumbed to Founder feeding and cleaning the of a city spider monkey.

Not knowing any better, my sister and I took the animal out for a walk in my future brother's pram. Fully dressed in doll’s clothes, little Spider appeared warm and content - but did look bizarre.

Anyway, we bumped into my grandmother, who was walking up the street on her way to visit us.

"Look, Grandma" we shouted, running proudly towards her, "here's your new grandson": She pulled back the pram hood, uncovered one very furry baby, and screamed in shock.

She played merry hell with my poor mother and wouldn’t speak to her for ages afterwards.

Los Balcones is to get an €864,000 park and sports development.

Waste ground that has for 30 years been set aside for park development is to finally be transformed.

The builder who originally developed the area failed to create the agreed green space, but sources said this week that the land has been officially handed over to the town hall ready for work to start.

The development, covering nearly 10,000 square metres, will include two indoor soccer fields, two basketball courts and two tennis courts.

Further sports and leisure facilities will be encompassed into the green parkland area, including a children’s playground, a pétanque area, jogging and walking tracks and a climbing wall.

A large balcony viewing area, taking advantage of the natural elevation of the ground, will offer views of the Torrevieja salt lakes and natural park.

The project’s designers, Adolfo Rodríguez Arquitectos, this week presented a model of the finished park to Minister for Employment, Joseph Cisco, the deputy Pedro Hernandez and several mayors of the region.

To buy or not to buy, that is the Ques-tion

€864,000 sports-park plan for Los Balcones

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Friday, December 16, 2011

DIVIDED WE STAND PEDRO Mancebo’s explanation of my expulsion from the Orihuela Council group CLRCLARO is a complete invention. CLARO has denied repeatedly that we have been in contact or conversations with the Popular Party.

The real explanation for this unjustified action Bob Houliston lies elsewhere. Now I am free from any obligation to toe the CLR-CLARO party line, I can tell my side of the story.

After Pedro Mancebo’s three weeks in the wilderness last June-July, before CLR decided to join the government of Mayor Montserrate Guilllen, he began a direct campaign to divide the management of the coast and reduce the responsibilities of myself as Councillor for the Coast.

This created confusion in the minds of officials in the Town Hall as to whom they were responsible administratively and no doubt, too, in the minds of the public. It was creating a situation which was against the interests of the people in Orihuela Costa, who want a united management team dedicated to responding to their problems and working for improvement in our quality of life.

I am convinced that the reason for this offensive against the CLARO team in Playa Flamenca is political. CLR has fallen into the “squeezed middle” of Orihuela politics.

Counting the costa council confusion BOB HOULISTON, Orihuela’s Councillor for the Coast, responds to Pedro Mancebo’s justification of his expulsion from the CLR-CLARO municipal group.

Something happened after the election of Mayor on 11 June to cause such hostility towards Pedro and CLR by Monica Lorente’s Popular Party that he can see that his party has no future on the right.

On the left, he cannot compete against the PSOE since CLR is a centre right party and in the present government, PSOE are in charge of the pedanias or villages surrounding Orihuela, another important source of votes. By this reckoning, the only political future for CLR is in Orihuela Costa and, in complete violation of the electoral alliance which had served both our interests well, this is the reason for his offensive against CLARO, where in two elections we have received majority support from the voters of the coast.

From September onwards we were also subject to disruption and division inside CLARO. perpetrated by our ex-Secretary General who, in the run up to our Annual General Meeting in November, attempted to have myself and Antonio Cerdan removed from the Executive Committee, leaving the possibility for Modesto Veloso to become

President or to control the Executive committee, the key political body of CLARO. When he failed, he resigned and did so in a manner designed to cause maximum political damage to a party which he had supported for over five years.

The final efforts to divide CLARO came in Pedro Mancebo the last few days before our Annual General Meeting when Pedro Mancebo began a direct e-mail campaign among CLARO members (a highly irregular and unauthorised practice which we have now asked him to stop) to arrange a meeting with him before, he no doubt feared, the AGM elected a new Executive Committee which he would be less able to influence.

Finally, the expulsion, which seems like a desperate last throw of the dice to confuse and divide CLARO on the eve of our AGM on 26 November.

This assault from outside and within the party, were no doubt two orchestrated moves. They failed. CLARO’s Annual General Meeting stood firm and we are more united than ever.

There is strong resentment of attempts by Pedro Mancebo

and CLR to divide, weaken and destroy the party of the coast, for their own political gain.

CLARO will go on supporting the present government but in a more independent position than before the expulsion and able to insist on having the means, including competences and finances, to fight for the interests of the coast.

There are no doubt many lessons to be learned from our recent experiences, lessons of loyalty and betrayal but the most important lesson is to recognise the importance for the future of Orihuela politics of the votes of the coast.

We have over 10,000 residents here, mainly British, who are on the padron but are not registered to vote. If they were registered to vote, or a large number of them were, and they would vote for the interests for the coast, where they live, we could be the permanently strong political force which we should be – a force to be reckoned with rather than a force others are out to destroy to further their own political ambitions.

Any EU citizen on the padron in Orihuela Costa can register to vote at any time. Just go to the Town Hall and ask Denise, responsible for International Residents, for help in filling out the form. If in doubt as to whether you are on the voters list, fill out the form in any case, so it can be verified.

THE CAP FITS FOR CHARITY KING JEFF JEFF DOWNING has never been short of ideas for raising money for charity. Helping those in need is built into the psyche of the chirpy little Midlander and his wife Norma, who are both avid fundraisers.

Norma works as a volunteer for the Debra Butterfly Children’s charity, and also raises funds through the popular belly dancing troupe she runs.

Jeff’s latest cause is the campaign to raise €200,000 to send 10-year-old Aitana Doiz to America for a life-saving double heart and lung transplant by collecting plastic bottle caps, which are worth 300 euros per tonne. to the industry.

He hatched the brainwave of leaving large plastic bottles alongside the communal bins at El Raso with a note asking residents to leave their bottle tops for Aitana rather than dump them with their waste.

As a result, Jeff left 14 full bottles at the Torrevieja offices of The Courier and Professional Business Support this week - just as it was revealed that the campaign fund has now reached a remarkable €112,000.

Call 966 923 963 or 617 935 721 for drop-off details..

BOTTLE STATIONS: Jeff Downing with the proceeds of his collection campaign at El Raso

MABS Murcia events THURSDAY December 22th – BAR-B-QUE NIGHT, Café Golf, San Javier – 7.00 pm. Entertainment and draw for Christmas hamper. 7.50€ per person, 14€ for two. Contact Café Golf 968 566 448 Wednesday January 4th: - VOLUNTEERS MEETING, Las Claras, Los Alcázares – 11.00 am If you would like to find out more about how you can help MABS, come along to our meeting.

For further information please call Bev on 693 362 823

Friday, December 16, 2011

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Telechronica...groan line to nowhere

TELEFONICA were never flavour of the month with me, long before I sacked them and switched to a local telephone service provider.

My new suppliers were not in the sense that I lost my service more often…but it was well worth a little convenience just to get rid of the couldn’t care-less, bad-attitude mob who purported to provide customer service So the recent complaints

by Courier readers about both Telefonica and their mobile arm, Movistar come as no surprise to me.

What does amaze me is to hear of the obscenities that Movistar operators reportedly threw at one couple…and the disinterest shown by the authorities when they complained.

From my experience, it was invariably a disservice that Telefonica provided – and when I finally told them I was changing my provider, they fobbed me off with a dismissive: ‘’Please yourself.’’

Giving me the distinct impression that they operate under the banner “The customer is always wrong.’’

After waiting several years for Telefonica to venture onto El Raso, where I live, their ultimate arrival was more than overdue.

Now I wish they’d never bothered because my dealings with them developed into one long, frustrating nightmare. Their cock-ups and bolshiness ended with me getting rid of them after 18 months– and reverting to a friendly local provider, My Bubble (which has since b e e n taken over by t h e equally helpful Scan Sat).

On abandoning Telefonica, I immediately became at least 20 euros a month better off - and was also able to contact an English-speaking technician within seconds.

And one who actually wanted to help me, too.

On the downside, I learnt to my cost that calling premium rate numbers in Britain was a ridiculously expensive Bubble burster. But that’s

as reliable

no more stress. Then, out of the blue, I received a letter from a collection agency saying I owed Telefonica 55 euros and that if I didn’t pay, the amount would be increased and I would face legal action.

I only received the demand because the correos had finally started delivering mail, a luxury El Raso was bestowed with after a brief wait of four years…

I toyed with the idea of ignoring the demand because I knew that Telefonica actually while they owed ME at least 100 euros. xxxx But I realised I was fighting a war I could not win with Spain’s third world bureaucratic system…so I swallowed my anger and wrote off another 55 euros.

That was nearly two years ago – but I’m still not completely convinced I have one, using my admittedly actually seen the back of moderate Spanish – and Telefonica once and for all. when my umpteenth effort What I would say is that if once again elicited the oblig- YOU are planning to become atory request for my NIE a subscriber, do so with caunumber, I snapped. tion. Better still, ask a few I called 1004 and said I no people who have done busiThe Broadband and Telephone Company longer wanted their service ness with them and you and would be instructing my might decide to have a bank to cancel my Direct rethink.

Debit.

Most expats reckon life in The operator showed not Spain is much better than in NIE number as well as my cent or more), the 1004 peo- the slightest inclination to the rapidly deteriorating UK. name and phone number ple insisted this could only be persuade me to rethink. The Yet could you imagine British each time I called them. That done by their business clear message was: ‘‘If that’s Telecom acting with such an was equivalent to BT asking department. what you want, please your- abysmal ‘couldn’t care less’ ‘‘But this is not a business self. We don’t care.’’ for my passport number attitude? whenever I called them in the line, it’s a private house,’’ I Att the end of the day, it’s So I wrote off the extra repeatedly told them. ‘‘Well, amount I had been charged your call who you use to proUK. Surely the fact I was the we have it down as a busi- for the suspended service vide your telephone service. registered subscriber calling ness number,’’ they insisted. that Telefonica didn’t susAs for me, I’m sitting here from my own private number “You’ll have to ask that pend - and told my bank to with my UK mobile in my department if you want it refuse any future demands hand, blushing with embarshould have sufficed.

They could clearly see changing to a private one.’’ rassment. I’ve just discovfrom them for money.

The punchline is that the where I was calling from I’m well rid, I thought – and ered my service providers, using their own office tech- business department don’t for six months or more I had O2, are owned by Telefonica. nology, so in my eyes, they (or more accurately won’t) were just being plain bloody- speak English – and the English-speaking operators minded.

Even more frustrating was on 1004 won’t do the job on that when I rang to request your behalf.

During my time as a temporary suspension of my ADSL each time I went to Telefonica customer, I made England (which reduced several attempts to have the internet charges by 75 per line switched to a private

On yer bike! 1004 reasons why I sent Spain’s national phone service packing another story.

From the start, Telefonica made me feel I wasn’t really wanted. I’m not talking about the engineer who installed my line and internet wireless equipment. He was remarkably quick and efficient… even if I did pay through the nose to be connected.

The problems began when I called 1004, their Englishlanguage helpline number, to organise billing.

They either couldn’t or wouldn’t mail me a factura, depending on whether I wanted it sending to my Spanish or UK address. The best they could offer was online billing.

Only I couldn’t get my user name or password to work.

And when I managed to get them changed, the new ones didn’t work, either.

Consequently, my only way of knowing how much I was being charged was to check my bank statement each month.

The 1004 operators also insisted that I provided my

Email your comments to donna@thecourier.es

966 784 532

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday, December 16, 2011

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Follow my lead...er?

SO I brought home a bunch of chrysanthemums and presented them to Mrs S. 'What's this for?' she asked suspiciously.

'Call it the clumsy gesture of your love slave,' I responded.

'It is but a humble token of the deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude I have for you.'

'Don't overdo it, man!' came the muffled cry of our nosey next-door neighbour, who liked to listen through the party wall.

Mrs S tutted. 'Love? You wouldn't know how to spell it.' And she stormed off into the kitchen to fetch a vase.

'That's a silly thing to say,' I called after her. 'No-one can spell chrysanthemums.'

Mrs S came back into the living room but without the vase.

Oh, dear, I thought. This was bad. It meant she'd thought of something else to castigate me for.

'So where's our Brian?' she demanded.

Curses! I cursed.

Mrs S had obviously spotted the empty dog lead I was trying to conceal behind my back in the fist that hadn't been clutching the chrysanthemums.

'First of all, it is not my fault,' I whimpered. 'I left

Brian tied to a lamp-post but when I returned he'd slipped his lead.

'That mutt must be the most aggravating dog I have ever abandoned.'

Mrs S folded her arms in a menacing stance, crushing the chrysanths in the process.

'I want the truth!' she snapped. 'Just how long was Brian left on his own?'

'Not that long,' I mumbled, eyes darting hither and thither in search of a means of escape.

'HOW LONG?' 'Give or take a few minutes it's been . . . er, let me see . . . four hours.'

Mrs S started to beat me about the bonce with what remained of the flowers.

'You just can't keep out of that pub, can you!' she yelled. 'I'm going to get Dave the barman to bar you!'

'That's how much you know,' I spluttered, spitting out bits of battered stem. 'I wasn't even in the pub and anyway Dave the barman has already barred me.

'He says I bore the hell out of what remains of his drunken, yet still discerning, clientele.'

I explained to Mrs S that as I walked the streets with our Brian I noticed that Gone With the Wind was playing on re-release at our local cinema.

I knew my pet didn't do sweeping historical epics so I tethered him outside the

picturehouse, threw the cur a couple of dog biscuits and promised I'd rent a copy of Lassie Come Home the next time I visited the video shop.

We interrupt this column for a point of order from stillawake readers: 'Are we in a time warp here?' they are asking.

'Gone With the Wind at the cinema? Video shops? We thought this was a topical newspaper.'

Well I can explain.

Those events DID occur some years ago but my clinical psychologist has only just pronounced me cured of my chrysanthemum phobia.

Thus it is only now that I can write about the experience.

Column resumes . . .

'It's Vivien Leigh, isn't it?' sneered Mrs S. 'You've always had an unhealthy interest in THAT actress. Every time her name is mentioned you turn scarlet. Well frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'

And with those shocking Gone With the Wind puns, Mrs S sent me out to look for our Brian.

Actually, my missus hadn't got it quite right.

True, I used to be in lurve with Vivien Leigh but I'd recently dumped her from my affections.

My latest belle was the long-legged Hollywood dancer Cyd Charisse although I was never quite sure which of her legs was the long one.

Anyway, off I trotted to search for my dog.

What I didn't realise was that Brian was a devious devil of a doggie.

When I emerged from the house, the little beggar had already returned and was hiding behind a bush in our front garden.

As I marched off down the road, our Brian crept silently after me and tagged on behind.

Cyd Charisse: All legs

It made for a weird minicircus parade -- a desperate-looking bloke twirling a dog lead around his head and yelling 'Brian, where are you?', closely followed by the mutt in question performing crowd-pleasing little leaps and bounds as he basked in the limelight.

Passers-by were tittering at the pathetic spectacle and I have no doubt that our Brian, with tongue protruding and haunches heaving, was also having a laugh at my expense.

There is an almost-interesting footnote to this sorry incident.

I stopped off in my old neighbourhood the other day when the exhaust dropped off my car and rolled into the same gutter I used to occupy on many a Saturday night.

I had the old banger fixed at the depot which now stands on the site of one of the cinemas I used to frequent as a youngster.

'Did you know,' I said to the mechanic, 'that on this very spot I saw John Wayne fight Lee Marvin, Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr fall for each other and Bette Davis scare Joan Crawford half to death.

'But all that happened yesterday,' I sighed, eyes moist with nostalgic abandon.

'Missed it, mate,' commented the mechanic.

'Yesterday was my day off.'

Friday, December 16, 2011

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Friday, December 16, 2011

THE UK NEWS

DAD ‘KILLED FAMILY THEN WASHED CAR’

The Sun

A DAD found dead with the charred bodies of his wife and two kids is feared to have murdered them, then washed his car before torching the scene.

Doting Richard Smith, 37, was seen by a neighbour cleaning his motor a day AFTER cops believe his "perfect family" — including a baby boy — were killed.

He is later thought to have gone upstairs to where wife Clair, 36, was lying dead with son Ben, nine, and Aaron, who had just celebrated his first birthday.

A fire was then set — with an upturned mattress used to block a window of the bedroom where he, too, was found killed.

Police are battling to find a motive for the horror in Pudsey, near Leeds. They revealed Mrs Smith died from a single stab wound to her chest, as did baby Aaron. Ben suffered a stab wound to the chest but died as a result of suffocation.

Tearful friends and relatives piled flowers outside the detached house where police found the four bodies after breaking in at 5.30pm on Sunday. One distraught woman was accompanied by a boy in school uniform as she left ten pink roses.

A heart-rending note read: "Why? Why? Why?" The fire had been confined to the bedroom of the £185,000 house. It had burnt itself out by the time relatives, worried at being unable to contact the family over the weekend, contacted police.

The dad's cousin Garry Tempest, 37, said as the bodies were removed for post mortems: "They were the perfect family. Richard (pictured) thought the world of the boys.

"There has never been anything bad between him and Clair — no arguing or anything. As for money worries, both had good jobs."

Clair was a part-time accounts manager. Her husband of 13 years was employed by a shopfitting firm, where he designed store layouts on computers.

All white now...

Attenborough and polar bear

Wednesday morning.

The 82-year-old had set rney out on the 55-mile jou or, from his home in Winds ay nd Mo on e, hir Berks evening.

Daily Mirror SIR David Attenborough has defended Frozen Planet’s fake polar bear footage – by comparing BBC nature documentaries to movies.

In a surprising justification for duping millions of viewers, the TV star argued that owning up to splicing archive film with real Arctic scenes during the programme would have spoiled the mood.

His blunt remarks came as more footage from the series was exposed as a sham.

Speaking after our exclusive story revealed shots of a polar bear and her newborn cubs were staged in a zoo using fake snow, Sir David, 85, said: “The question is, during the middle of this scene when you are trying to paint what it is like in the middle of winter at the pole, to say ‘Oh, by the way, this was filmed in a zoo’.

Woman is jailed for microwaving kitten The Sun A WOMAN who microwaved a neighbour's kitten to death in a barbaric revenge attack was jailed on Wednesday.

Callous Gina Robins put the helpless ten-week-old pet in the 770-watt oven and turned it on.

Owner Sarah Knutton heard a loud noise "like a crisp packet being popped" followed by an "horrendous screech" as it died in agony.

Mum-of-three Robins later sent a text to Sarah, which read: "Remember the saying 'what goes around comes around'? It has started already to bite you in the a**e. The cat? Karma." JPs heard how Robins had accused Sarah, 35, of wrecking her relationship by reporting her abusive partner to cops.

Robins, 31, claimed the missDennis was reported cat had been fighting with at ive ing after failing to arr miles other kittens and had hidhis destination 55 den in the microwave away. rs which automatically starthou 30 nd fou s wa He to ed when the door shut. later The journey But magistrates dishave uld sho nt, Ke ey, anl Sw r. hou missed her "far-fetched" an r ove t jus taken him account and convicted her of cruelty in Torbay, Devon.

S Y A D O W T r fo 5 2 M n o t Los Daily Mail

more A PENSIONER spent M25 the on rs hou 30 than way the on t los after getting - an to his daughter’s house ay. aw e driv hour's two Dennis Leighton spent finalore bef car his in hts nig n on ly being tracked dow

Fake film: Sir David comes in from cold

Atmosphere

Gina Robins: No emotion She showed no emotion as she was jailed for a total of 168 days and told she would serve half of that.

Magistrate Liz Clyne told her: "You have shown little remorse either for the death of the kitten or the trauma to your former friend Sarah Knutton."

Robins was also banned from keeping animals for ten years.

“It ruins the atmosphere, and destroys the pleasure of the viewers and destroys the atmosphere you are trying to create.

“It’s not a falsehood and we don’t keep it secret either.

But to say actually in the middle of that sequence, I mean how far do you take this?

“Do you say this is a penguin, but actually it was a different penguin colony than this one and this one is a different one? Come on, we were making movies.”

It emerged BBC producers also misled viewers about footage of a frozen caterpillar in hit seven-part series Frozen Planet.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Inquest finds woman is smothered by love The Sun STOCKY Robert Trigg snuggled up to his girlfriend — and accidentally killed her.

He dozed off on top of Susan Nicholson, 52, suffocating her as she slept. Susan may have been smothered for just 15 SECONDS, an inquest heard.

Thirteen-stone Mr Trigg, 47, had recently moved in with the ex-insurance worker in Worthing, West Sussex, when Susan suggested they slept on the sofa last April.

In the morning he woke on top of her and "realised I couldn't hear her breathing".

Coroner Michael Kendall, recording an accident verdict, said: "There is no evidence whatsoever that this was part of an altercation."

Distraught ex-chef Mr Trigg said: "It was a freak accident and I lost my partner."

Labour’s visa fee axe costs taxpayer millions IMMIGRANTS' appeals against rejections for family visas are costing taxpayers £1MILLION a week, figures reveal.

Cases have rocketed sixfold since fees of up to £500 were abolished.

Last year 50,000 appeals were lodged — compared with just 8,000 before Labour axed the payments in 2002.

And it has left taxpayers picking up a £52million bill. Rules on who qualifies are so lax that a married man with five kids could have up to 120 eligible family members, according to a report today.

These include uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, cousins and grandchildren — as well as his wife's relatives.

In 2010, a total of 423,000 applications were

The Sun made for family visitor visas and 338,000 were approved. Nearly half came from India, Pakistan and Nigeria. The report by Migration Watch calls for tighter rules on who qualifies as a family visitor amid fears many people stay on illegally after their visas run out.

Its chairman Sir Andrew Green said: "It is an outrageously generous system that we should no longer fund."

Immigration Minister Damian Green insisted fees would be brought in again. Home Secretary Theresa May revealed there are 8,000 arranged marriages in England each year — and said making it an offence could tackle the problem.

Nearly 20% of Year 6 kids obese - survey Daily Mail ALMOST one in five children in their final year of primary school is obese, according to new research.

Data for England from the NHS Information Centre reveals that 19% of Year 6 children were obese in 2010/11, up from 18.7% in 2009/10 and 17.5% in 2006/7. And another 14.4% of children were overweight.

The data was collected as part of the National Child Measurement Programme (NCMP) on more than a million pupils (93% of those eligible).

It found that the proportion of four and five-year-olds who were obese in 2010/11 fell to 9.4% compared to 9.8% in 2009/10 and 9.9% in 2006/07.

Another 13.2% were overweight, a slight drop on 2009/10 and 13% in 2006/07.

London had the highest proportion of obesity for both year groups, while obesity is almost twice as common in deprived areas.

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Friday, December 16, 2011 Haul of shame: Police display the forgers’ wares

COPS NAIL 1.5m EURO FORGERS

SPANISH National Police agents have seized more than 1.5 million euros in fake currency in an operation that has broken up the largest counterfeit network ever seen in Spain - and one of the largest in Europe.

Fourteen people have been arrested, including the forger and main distributor, who was found with 50,000 euros in forged notes in his possession.

An intense surveillance operation, coordinated with Europol, led to police identifying and arresting the two main culprits and shutting down the forgery workshop before swooping on other members of the network.

Arrests were made in Guardamar del Segura, Cartagena, Villena, Campello, Denia, Murcia and Vigo.

A distribution company for canned goods owned by the forgery network chief was the cover for the counterfeiting operation.

An Interior Ministry press statement said the gang had all the material in place to make another €1.5 million in counterfeit euros.

The forgery organisation was also linked to drug trafficking and an earlier phase of the investigation saw the arrest of 11 people last June when police seized a ton of cannabis.

Valencia’s City Hall has been left trying to decide who its poorest citizens are after a benefactor left half a million euros to the city with the instruction it be shared amongst the ‘poorest of the poor’.

Laws unchanged since the end of the 19th century are to be used to determine exactly what should be done with the money.

Now the Duchess, is off on a Cruise SHE married a man young enough to be her son but it appears the Duchess of Alba has her eye on another toyboy...34 years her junior.

The Spanish aristocrat seemed to be enamoured with Tom Cruise as she took to the red carpet at the premiere of Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol.

The 85-year-old billionaire posed for pictures with her husband and the 49-year-old star who, according to the Daily Mail, looked a little awkward.

The Duchess, a mother-of-six who has more titles than Queen Elizabeth II, appeared more than happy to cosy up next to Mr Cruise.

While he is yet to turn down a Mission it appeared the prospect of entertaining the eccentric aristocrat for the evening proved too much for Tom who appeared happy to get back to his glamorous costars.

l

Movistar operator’s Dog-poo owners four-letter outburst facing DNA trial From Page One

myself when making a formal request for the repairing/restoring our house fixed telephone line.

“The matter is so serious and upset my wife so badly, that I will be reporting the matter to the Guardia Civil, denouncing Movistar.’’

In an emailed response to The Courier received yesterday (Thursday) - six weeks after the event - there was little indication that the profanity-spouting operator will

be brought to justice.

Movistar’s Atencion al Cliente department’s M A Quintana wrote (sic): “We are very sorry for the incorrect behaviour of the commercial advisor that attended Mr Davies.

“Our main aim is to satisfy our customer needs and unappropiate manners are not tolerated. Although when you dial 1004, the locution indicates that the call can be recorded, the only calls recorded are related with

petition of products or commercial conditions, so the call indicated by Mr Davies wasn´t recorded.

“As we informed previously, we already registered a claim to investigate the case. This day , there were three calls on the period 910 am and the human resources is checking it.

“We remind you that our email address is available for anybody in Spanish and English for any query or request.’’

DOG mess left in public places could be DNA tested so the owners can be found and fined, if Socialists in Malaga get their way.

The Socialist group at Malaga City Hall wants all dogs to have their DNA profile included on a compulsory microchip so that dog poo can be easily traced back to the animal and its owner.

La Marina Boom!

However, Malaga’s PP mayor has called the proposal ‘ludicrous’, claiming that at between 30 and 75 euros for every piece of excrement, the DNA testing would be too costly. Mayor Francisco de la Torre says he prefers education to keep the streets clean and personally congratulates every owner he sees picking up dog mess.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

ZOE

From all your friends at The Courier xxxx

FURTHER along the main street in Urb La Marina, past Super Valu, you will find an array of thriving businesses.

Even in an economic recession, premises that had sat idle for five years are now occupied, with two new neighbours on the street.

Peter and Olga opened up their UK Chainstore boutique amid great anticipation and excitement, with customers trying to get a sneak preview before opening day.

Olga says their new neighbours have been so helpful, even giving them electricity while they were waiting for their connection. Just a few doors down, next to news 4 U, is El Paso, a new Mexican restaurant, which will nevertheless be serving up a traditional Christmas Fayre.

Cuts R US welcome their new neighbours and wish everyone a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

WHAT NEXT IN THE EURO SHAMBLES?

WITH the recent dramatic events involving Britain and the European Union, I decided to look up the meaning of the word “veto”.

In Latin, it means “I Forbid”, and Prime Minister David Cameron certainly did that over plans for greater integration within the EU in the light of the current economic shambles.

For years, successive Prime Ministers have threatened to be a European party pooper, but Cameron went a dramatic step further when he decided that the new plans, including threats to the autonomy of the financial institutions in the City of London, were too much for him to stomach.

And despite the pouting posturing of the other British political parties, most experts believed his predecessors Tony Blair and Gordon Brown would have done exactly the same thing.

The big question is, what happens next? My view is that there’ll be a “kiss and make up” within the corridors of Brussels and some compromise will be cobbled up. If not, then there may just be some interesting UK political fallout.

Cameron, as I have written before, is a pretty liberal mainstream Conservative, but he is hawkish over the EU, and he knows that his stance will go down well with his party and his right-wing MPs, who have constantly mistrusted him.

It’s also a view that would have the support of the majority of British voters. It now seems light years away from that May afternoon more than 18 months ago at Downing Street, when it was the Dave and Nick show in front of the gathered press. It looked like a Katie Price/Peter Andre love in before things turned sour for the glamour couple.

Nick Clegg and the pro-European Liberal Democrats are now part of a government which has decided to fire some serious missiles into the European dream, and you just wonder whether some divorce papers are being hastily drawn up?

Clegg, as deputy Prime Minister, wasn’t even by the PM’s side for Monday’s House of Commons statement. The excuse was that his presence would be a distraction! And what of the pro-European Tory, Ken Clarke, who sits in the cabinet as Justice Secretary? Will he be drafting a resignation letter, or will he hope that the festive season will allow everybody to forget what has happened, along with his principles?

I’ve not hit too much of the Christmas sauce, so treat this as a very sober prediction. I’m getting a crazy feeling that with good opinion poll ratings, and the laws over fixed term five-year Parliaments still to be passed, Mr.Cameron is twitching slightly in private over the possibility of dumping his Lib Dem partners and calling a surprise General Election,

with who runs Britain as the key issue.

Stranger things have happened, and if the Lib Dems pull out of the coalition first, we might just get the ultimate in surprise elections, with Cameron making all the running. Something that might dampen down Clegg’s temptation for a break-up is the latest opinion-poll numbers, which show the anti-EU UK Independence Party ahead of them in the ratings.

It may be heading towards Christmas, but I don’t think these Lib Dem turkeys are ready to order their own killing just yet. Once again, principles are put aside for personal interests, like avoiding the wrath of the voters!

What do names like Rick Perry, Rick Santorum and Jon Huntsman mean to you? No, they are not American sportsmen, but Republican hopefuls who are spending every dollar they have to try to unseat Barack Obama from the White House in next year’s Presidential elections.

There are seven hopefuls trying to get the Republican nomination, some of them with political views well to the right of Genghis Khan. Especially dangerous is a lady called Michele Bachmann, who believes the Walt Disney classic, “The Lion King” to be gay propaganda, and blamed the outbreaks of swine flu two years ago on President Obama!

She seriously makes Sarah Palin seem to be quite normal, but fortunately the election experts say she has no chance of being chosen.

Although a former scourge of Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, is making the early running, look out for the moderate exGovernor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney. He wasn’t that far from taking on Obama in the last election, and if the Republicans want a change, then they have to have a sensible, electable candidate rather than some tub-thumbing character like Gingrich with opinions straight out of a ‘Loony Tunes’ cartoon!

Smirk at work - sell your house with a smile!

PHILL SMIRK from The Property Shop’s new El Raso office gained his experience while working for one of the large property companies bringing clients over on

viewing trips.

Phill (pictured) ignored all the high-pressure selling techniques taught by the senior management and adopted a more caring

approach, listening to client expectations and trying hard to match them. And if buyers had a problem, they’ld contact him directly due to the trust and friendship built up

during negotiations. Many of those first clients became friends and remain so today.

When the company closed due to the slump in sales, Phill used his extensive knowledge of the Spanish property market to start his own internet-based business, Dream Homes Costa Blanca.Com. The venture soon blossomed, attracting clients from all over the world.

At this time, Phill met Mick and Ben from the very successful main office of The Property Shop in Quesada – and so began a collaboration, with Phil supplying the

clients and they their massive portfolio of properties combined with the friendly expertise of a well-run property sales office.

As the collaboration grew in strength, Mick asked Phill to join him in opening a new office on El Raso.

Phill now insists that working with Mick, Ben their wives Sue and Nina, office manager Tracy, and Pip, who oversees the property conveyance, is like working with an extended family.

“I never believed that work could be so rewarding and enjoyable,’’ he says.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

THE SPANISH PRESS

ILLEGAL MIGRANTS BEACHED BY COPS

A PhD? Then Burger King job’s for you El Pais

SPAIN has the highest number of overqualified workers in the EU. Some 31% of Spanish workers hold a job beneath their training level, while the average for the EU is 19%, a Eurostat study claims.

And that means Burger King could well be employing people with PhD degrees!

For foreign-born workers, the figures are El Pais even worse with the over-qualification rate at 58% in Spain versus 34% for the EU as a A REPEAT of a tactic first used last summer by whole. Only Greece is higher with 62%. illegal immigrants attempting to reach Europe Foreigners are also much more likely to fall took place on the beaches of Morocco and the into poverty, with an 18% chance for natives autonomous Spanish city of Ceuta on and 32% for foreigners.

Splash and Wednesday, resulting in 45 sub-Saharans, all Over-qualification has been a serious probgrab: An male, reaching Spanish soil. lem in Spain for years, as the schooling level exhausted of the general population has risen faster The modus operandi of the would-be immigrants is to immigrant than the number of available jobs for highly attempt to use force of numbers to overwhelm security percops it as he qualified workers. The percentage of the sonnel on both sides of the border. Upon reaching Morocco, comes ashore Spanish population with higher studies grew the immigrants skirt the border fence with Ceuta and then from 21 to 30% in the decade take to the sea to traverse the final meters to refuge in to 2009.

Spanish territory. They know not all will achieve the objective, With the Spanish unembut weight of numbers gives a more or less 50-50 chance. ployment rate at 20% (45% On Wednesday, the Civil Guard was called to the frontier for young people) more peoat Tarajal beach in Ceuta and witnessed how the immigrants ple are continuing in educatook to the water on inflatable rings to swim to Spain. The tion as they cannot get a job.

Spanish authorities, in conjunction with the Moroccan Recent enrolment figures Gendarmerie, impeded the entrance of about 100 determined Africans, but 45 slipped through and were later roundLAST week’s general election in Gibraltar was a close-run saw registrations on mided up and taken to the holding centre in Ceuta. race, with Fabian Picardo, leader of the Gibraltar Socialist level vocational courses Labour Party/Liberals coalition, winning by a small margin growing over 15% in the last The latest influx will further saturate the centre, which was over Peter Caruana, head of the Gibraltar Social Democrats two years. already overcrowded with around 650 people crammed into and Chief Minister since 1996. The election a facility designed to hold just 500. was described by the Gibraltarian media as The first mass bid to reach Spain took place last summer. the closest contest in decades.

The attempts always follow the same route - via the line that Regional premier of Andalusia, José divides the Port of Ceuta on the Moroccan side of the border Antonio Griñán, spoke of the need for coopand Tarajal on the Spanish side. The immigrants target relieration, while José Ignacio Landaluce, PP gious festivals, changes of shift, holidays and foggy days. mayor of the nearby Spanish city of In August, the Civil Guard pulled 25 men from the sea as Algeciras, called for Gibraltar not to have THE visitors centre in the Salinas Park at San they tried to land on inflatable mattresses. Wednesday's operequal weight with Spain and Britain on talks Pedro del Pinatar has been included in the Fabian Picardo ation brings the number of immigrants caught by the Civil over its future sovereignty. international network 'Migratory Birds for Guard since the beginning of July to over 380.

However, Picardo has stated that People' (MBP), which aims to make everyone Rabat has, since August 2010, refused the Gibraltar's sovereignty is not up for nego- more aware of the need to protect migratory return of immigrants to Morocco and at the tiation. birds and conserve the habitats in which same time accused Spanish authorities of a "The policy of a Gibraltar Socialist these birds rest. "dangerous racist tendency" when dealing The press office of Murcia announced that 20 dogs in Torrevieja Labour Party/Liberal Party government is FACEBOOK has helped with attempted border crossings. that the sovereignty of Gibraltar is not a this centre now forms part of the network of 15 e.

A diplomatic dispute flared up when to find a hom ipal Dog Pound matter for discussion or negotiation with international visitors centres, which all work Volunteers at the Munic Morocco charged that Civil Guard officers had on their web- Spain," said the winning candidate towards the same aims of protecting marshls ma ani the of tos posted pho beaten Moroccan citizens and had abanndoned crea- ahead of the elections, suggesting that lands, around the world, in Norway, Holland, aba the s page, and within day doned eight sub-Saharan immigrants "in a ed with new adoptive the PP's plan to leave the Rock as a Belgium, UK, France, Germany, Finland, tures had been rehom critical condition" on a beach within its neighbystander in British-Spanish talks is set Russia, Denmark, and Spain. families. bour's territory near Ceuta. to fail before getting started.

Civil Guard wait for desperate swimmers

No way José! New Gib leader solid as a rock

Bird nations flock together

HOT DOGS

Friday, December 16, 2011

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Friday, December 16, 2011

THE LARKMAN 2: A MUST TO VISIT

Travel to Gullivers LAST weekend saw the opening of the Smokers’ Club in Gullivers Bar, Guardamar.

Yes you heard right, a smokers’ club, no more puffing out in the cold with the door ajar and the probability that you missed that really important goal, while you stub out your cig and run in to join the electric atmosphere.Here you can go back to the good old days, with a pint in one hand and a fag in the other and join in the chorus, come on, come on...

A loophole in the law allows clubs to participate in this ancient ritual, members once signed up can attend, simple ...Situated in Calle Cervantes, in the heart of Guardamar, is where you will find this trendy sports bar.

With 11 big screens throughout the bar you`ll always get to watch all the sporting events in comfort.

Owner Francisco had the idea of opening this pioneering bar and since its launch in July of this year, has seen it full to the rafters for all major sporting events.

You can see why it attracts people of all ages and families.

Here you have a selection The smokers club is sepa- name just a few. So if you’re of breakfast menus, daily specials served from 1- rated from the main bar, with looking for a lively place to go 4.30pm, 3 courses including both offering 28 international and soak up the adrenaline a drink for 12.50€. Buy 1 get beers, German, English,. at the next big match, why Belgian and Spanish to not consider Gullivers?.

1 free.

THE Larkman 2 is a British bar / restaurant situated on Calle Baleares (behind Mercadona) in Guardamar Del Segura.

It has been established for eight years and Guardamar was chosen as a location due to its predominate Spanish culture and charm.

On entering, the Larkman 2 is unassuming. However the proprietors Martin and Julie offer a wide selection of food and beverages together with various specials and entertainment within a friendly, helpful atmosphere.

Opening times are 10am till late, however this changes to 11am during the winter. Food is available at all times.

Full English breakfast is on offer together with a selection of snacks, lite bites etc.

The main menu offers a wide selection of traditional English fayre e.g. fish and chips, liver and onions, steaks, homemade pies and of course the traditional Sunday lunch.

Specials are offered which change periodically. Currently during December, three main course meals are on offer for €3.75 as well as tea and scone €2 and tostada with tea or coffee at €1.75.

Also available during December is a three-course

Christmas dinner for €9.95 (dressed tables and crackers with bookings).

For Christmas Day a four-course traditional lunch is available to include all trimmings for €15.95, booking essential.

Entertainment is available periodically to include set menus accompanied by music.

Every Thursday evening throughout the year, a quiz and games night takes place which has turned out to be a speciality. This includes a quiz with a difference, Lucky 13`s, a free draw and free food for all, bookings preferred as tables are reserved. Telephone 652 047 450 or 645 204 451 for more information or reservations.

Martin and Julie would like to take this opportunity to wish all of their customers a very merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

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Friday, December 16, 2011 Alfonsa with her great-granddaughter

Alfonsa’s Aromas

AT the age of 84, Alfonsa Ramirez Carmona has few peers when it comes to Spanish home cooking. Orphaned at the age of eight, she was left to care for five younger siblings and an ailing grandmother. Working in service for many years, she finally married impov-

BASIC PISTO Spanish style ratatouille with a tomato base 6 large tomatoes 1 kilo red peppers 1-2 garlic cloves salt and sugar to taste.

Simply fry the finely chopped tomatoes and peppers until soft. Add finely chopped garlic towards end of cooking and add salt to taste.

This dish is a good base to add to many dishes, e.g. cooked meat or chicken, or simply served cold as a salad with Spanish bread to dip.

PISTO AL HORNO Ratatouille roasted in the oven also known as asado de verduras 2 kilo red peppers 2 kilo tomatoes 2 aubergines 1 onion salt to taste garlic (optional) Line a roasting tin with foil or greaseproof paper Rub all veg lightly with olive oil. (this loosens the skins and makes them easier to de-skin after cooking Roast all veg on a medium heat in a little olive oil, until soft (approx. 1 hour) Leave to cool, then skin and de-seed.

Add raw, finely chopped garlic and drizzle with olive oil and add salt and sugar to taste.

COURGETTE PISTO (Pisto de calabacin) 4 medium sized courgettes 6 italian red peppers (long thin peppers) 6 medium tomatoes.

Olive oil Salt and sugar to taste Finely chop courgettes and peppers and fry together and place to one side.

Dice or blend raw tomatoes and fry in a little olive oil Once softened add courgettes and peppers, salt and sugar and cook together for a few minutes When cooked add raw, finely chopped garlic to taste.

erished Santos, who soon developed health problems. Economical but hearty meals were a total necessity as she struggled to keep support five children on Santos's small wage, plus her own pittance from working in the fields (along with a good amount of

PISTO MURCIANO Pisto with aubergines 2 kg of potatoes.

4 peppers.

1 big onion.

1/2 kg of tomatoes.

1/2 kg of eggplants.

100 ml. of oil.

Salt.

fruit and vegetables. With these ingredients she concocted delicious ‘pistos’, the preparation of which Courier readers can now share. Don't forget, tomato-based pistos nearly always require a little sugar to eliminate the acidity.

Fry the potatoes until soft and reserve. In the same oil fry the chopped peppers and onions.

Add the tomatoes and finally the aubergines slices.

Return the potatoes and reheat and serve piping hot.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

More lynx in chain

LETTERS EXTRA

THANKS FUR EVERYTHING, CAT LOVERS!

THE year is ending on a bright note for the Iberian Lynx with the endangered cat’s numbers up on the same time last year.

The Andalucian government’s 2011 census of the lynx population reported a 10% increase in the number of the cats in the wild, bringing the total to 298.

Lynx territory in Andalucia has increased from 701 square kilometres to 861 in the past year.

At the beginning of this century there were fewer than 100 Iberian Lynx in the wild in Andalucia, but thanks to the various programmes put into place to save this rare feline, numbers are growing.

AS you may know, I, together with my partner, Rose, opened a charity shop in Quesada earlier this year.

Through your Letters Page we would like to say a big thank you to all those kind people who have donated cash or items for sale and to all our customers and also to wish them all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year.

The Season’s greetings and a big thank you to our Vet, Javier, and all at Benican.

One way or another, we have helped over 150 cats this year and two tortoises.

We always need people to provide loving homes for the cats and kittens that come into our care and rely heavily on newspapers such as yours to reach a wide area – so thank you and please keep up the good work!

Last but not least, thanks to all the ladies who give up their time to help in the shop and without whom we could not succeed.

The shop will be closed for Christmas holidays from 19th December, re-opening on 28th December.

Merry Christmas everybody!

JOE (THE CAT MAN)

SOL shines on home kids’ Christmas party A VERY special Christmas party took place last Saturday when more than 50 children from local children’s homes were treated to some festive fun.

With games, magic tricks, music and, of course, Santa and presents, it was a day to remember for the kiddies from EMAUS, San Miguel Arcangel and ALPE. The party at Fairways Restaurant, Villamartin Plaza, brought joy to the faces of the youngsters and grownup helpers alike, and everyone agreed it was a cracker of an event.

Santa came bearing 37 sacks stuffed with presents thanks to the SOL Productions Christmas present collection and generosity of the people of the Costa Blanca.

As soon as the children walked into the restaurant to be met by Santa, aka Kelvin from Captain Carter’s, it was all smiles and laughter, and for the rest of the afternoon the fun didn’t stop.

The youngsters had a great time decorating gingerbread men and chocolate drops donated by Linda from Cookies, while Vibe FM kept the party going with festive music and magician Graham Mykal delighted the kiddies with balloon

Lighting the way for PCN nurses animals.

Santa’s helpers, Priscilla, Sandie, Lindsey, Gina and Kate, organised more party games while the older children played pool.

A real highlight for everyone was the appearance of the Costa Blanca’s very own reindeer – Taffeta, a miniature horse from Easy

Horse Care Rescue Centre dressed up with antlers for the occasion.

Karen, Roy and the staff of Fairways put on a fabulous party tea.

A spokesperson for SOL Productions said the day could not have been possible without the help and generosity of so many people,

especially Fairways Restaurant, photographer Dave Bull, Looking Good Boutique, The Treasure Chest, Sunset 1, La Tasca, Black Rabbit, Bagwa Tattoo, Kiki Beach, Quick Save, Los Dolces, UNO, Perfect 10, The Post Room, Benijofar, Euronics and The Courtyard.

MUSIC, MAYHEM.. AND MAGIC! ALADDIN - Review by JIMINY CRITIC (Torrevieja) LAST Thursday, Friday and Saturday, saw the Rojales Pantomime Group present their production of Aladdin in the Escuela de Musica in Los Montesinos.

It truly was a wonderful production, full of comedy, music, mayhem and fun.

The show opened with Uncle Abanazar (Peter Sinclair), greeted with enthusiastic Booing by adults and children alike.

The Chorus were next on stage, Stood before the splendid Scenery of Old Peking. The chorus numbers throughout were on the whole, sung and danced well, especially during the Rub-a-Dub scene and Thoroughly Modern Twankey.

Speaking of Twankey, played so admirably by John Wallace, his

colourful costumes matched his colourful personality.

Aladdin (Tina Sinclair) was the lovesick hero who fell for Princess Jasmine (Lorna Cooper). Both played their parts convincingly and the Princess had a singing voice reminiscent of a Disney Princess.

She also created the wonderful scenery.

The Emperor, regally portrayed by Cyril Derbyshire and supported by his bumbling policeman, added a few comedic touches to the show.

Not-so-shy Mandy O’Hagan made a convincing hand maiden, especially when she was on stage with Wishee Washee (Barry Cox.) Wishee played up to the audience, and they responded to his encour-

agements with great fervour.

His "Worried, I'm really worried" to our response of "Have a cup of tea" is still playing inside my brain.

Add to this a rapping Genie, a stroppy Slave of the Ring, some fantastic special effects, especially during the cave scene, and outstanding costumes, and you have all four ingredients needed for what was a splendid show.

Well done, Rojales Panto Group and your director Christine Smith.

True, it wasn’t perfect, there were some missed entrances and lines, but what the heck? This is panto. , The Group made donations to three worthy charities, ADSIMON, La Banda Infantil de Montesinos and Caritas de Rojales.

For all of you who missed this production, try to get to their next one. If this is anything to go by, then I for one won’t be disappointed.

LIGHT up a Life is a variety show with a difference. As well as a special Christmas variety act by show group Ladies in Red, Light up a Life is about remembering loved ones at Christmas.

To be held at Alan’s Bar in Calas Blancas next Wednesday, Light up a Life gives people the chance to light a candle and put it on the tree with a message for their loved one.

Then, as the Ladies in Red perform Christmas songs and Carols, a special pre-Christmas dinner with three courses for €10 can be enjoyed.

Light up a Life was the idea of Martin from Cheers Bar, and it was such a great success and fundraiser for Paul Cunningham Nurses that Alan’s Bar decided to host a repeat performance. For every meal ordered, Alan’s Bar will donate €4 to the charity.

The bar will be serving meals from 1pm and the show starts at 3pm.

For directions to the bar, which is close to Iceland in Torrevieja, call Alan on 966 706 318 or 628 755 254 or emailsueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk

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Friday, December 16, 2011

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Supermarket snatch scam I WANT to let everyone know to be vigilant if they shop at supermarkets in the San Javier/Santiago area.

I had my bag stolen recently and it was a right scam.

As I prepared to reverse out of a parking space at Lidl, a car drew up right behind, blocking my path.

The man in the car, Spanish about 40, was blasting on his horn and I thought he had seen someone he knew.

But he kept blasting so stupidly that I got out of my car. He shouted to me that he wanted directions to [would you believe?] the

police station. He had it written down on a piece of paper but, looking back, I must have been mad because he had Consum and Lidl written on it - and also where the police station was.

He drove off quite quickly before I could finish telling him the way, so I suppose he had a mate who opened my car door and nicked my bag.

We are all told to be alert but when it comes to the crunch, that all seems to go out of the window.

I just thought I would let readers know so they would be more alert to these things.

MAUREEN, San Javier

THANKS FOR NOT FORGETTING THEM A message from the President of the Alzheimer’s Association of Torrevieja

DURING 2011 we have seen so many, many more people turning to our organisation for help and support for themselves and their loved ones, who are suffering from this cruel disease and other types of dementia.

Obviously the problem is an ever-growing one, with no cure.

Thanks to the fantastic continuing support of groups, societies and caring individuals, our wonderful

team of staff and volunteers have been able to respond to these calls for help.

We would like to be able to name you all individually, but the list is so long. Please know that we know you, and words cannot tell you how very grateful we are for what you do.

The Alzheimer’s Association of Torrevieja was judged the best in the whole of the Valencian Region for the social work that we do.

From the 131 centres judged, this branch was awarded first prize, thus proving that we use the funds raised and donations made, to the very best use for those in need.

We could not achieve this without our volunteers at the Day Centre, the La Siesta Clinic and our Shop in Torrevieja.

These ladies and gentlemen give of their time and are equally committed to helping patients and families in support of our dedi-

Leading lady:Matilde Sanchez accepts a donation

cated professional staff.

All charitable organisations depend on their volunteers, and we are no exception. Without our much valued band of ladies and gentlemen, we could not undertake the essential work we do – so thank you all.

Should you read or hear of any fund-raising event for the Alzheimer’s Association, please do come along and show you care by supporting us. You can help us to help them! . MATILDE SANCHEZ President

l Make sure that money etc is kept safe when visiting markets. lRemind friends and guests using a hire car to remove the hire-company sticker from the window. lThese simple actions will hopefully lead to a safer festive season.

SCOTT BLAIR, Press and Communications Officer, Neighbourhood Watch in Spain.

FOR the Spanish readers who enjoy your paper, please would you get a proof reader before publication.

Page 14 of Edition 42 about The Perfect Scam uses the incorrect use of the word "check".

It does confuse when translating. Gracias. .JOSE ALVERES MUNOZ Many apologies, Jose, but that particular page was one of the last to be completed and I had no time to check it properly (correct usage there!). The content originated in America, where they spell things very oddly!

- EDITOR

“Can I say how impressed I was with your service?”

Línea Directa: the best insurance at the best price.

Línea Directa Aseguradora is the market leader in the sale of insurance to foreign residents in Spain. Since 1998 it is the only insurer to have offered its services in both English and German, which include handling claims, selling the policy and road assistance. This service, the first of its kind in Spain, forms part of the company’s dedication to quality and excellence, which have made it the leader in the sale of insurance by telephone and Internet, with almost 1.8 million customers in Spain.

In addition, the International Business Line has registered one of the highest levels of customer satisfaction in all the company, both in claims handling and customer service. Here are some real cases described to us by our policyholders:

Vigilance the key to a happy Xmas AT this time of year, a reminder about taking extra care can help to increase your safety and security.

The following simple actions can make all the difference. l When going out, only take with you what you require. lEnsure that all doors and windows are locked and secure. l In the house or car, do not leave valuables where they can be seen.

Spelling check, please!

A real case Can I say how impressed was with your service, the calls were handled quickly and efficiently and the tow truck was on site within an hour of the accident happening, I am happy to continue to use you and my wife will be buying a new car soon which we will insure with you.

Yours Faithfully Howard W.

If you wish to find out more call 902 123 104 now.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

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Friday, December 16, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

Is it almost Christmas already?? The last time I looked we were still in the middle of summer and now, apparently, Christmas is just around the corner – blimey doesn’t time fly when you are enjoying yourself!

Time for some pre-Christmas fun I think! There is a great website called Elf Yourself – you can find it at www.elfyourself.com Whilst it’s great to receive “real” Christmas cards, more and more of us are sending e-cards and this one is an e-card with a big difference, it allows you to upload pictures of yourself / family / friends /pets (insert as appropriate) and create a fun Elf style dancing cartoon.

It’s really quick and easy to use, very intuitive and user friendly, all you do is upload your photo’s – you can add images either from photos that you already have on your computer or photos that you already have in Facebook or alternatively direct via the webcam in your computer. Once you have uploaded your pictures, you can rotate and enlarge the faces so that they fit into the Elf cartoon figures on the screen; you can add as many ‘Elf’s’ as you want and once you have finished, you can select a dance style, options available include funk, hip hop, Charleston and many others – then just sit back and enjoy watching the fun!

As you would expect from a commercial website offering free fun, there is also the facility to buy merchandise with your Elf Self on, mugs, DVD’s, cards etc.

It really is very easy to use and once you have created your dancing masterpiece, you can download, email it or place it on Facebook for your friends & family to see.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Tigers sleighed by reindeer SOME very muscly reindeer pulled Santa on the first reindeer walk last Sunday as players from the Torrevieja Tigers Rugby Football club donned reindeer costumes to haul the present-laden sleigh along the 3km route of the walk.

With Jason Scawthorne as Rudolph leading the procession for Maria and the Pink Ladies, some 200 people joined the walk, many dressed in festive attire.

The walk headed off from Fit4All in Punta Prima to the sounds of Just Brass, and the band waited for the walkers return to entertain them some more with festive music.

The day was a great success, raising €1850.75 from registration fees, donations and a tombola stall. They were so

pleased with the result that Maria and the Pink Ladies have decided to make the reindeer walk an annual event.

Maria and her ladies joined forces with Jason and Alina of Fit4All and Torrevieja Tigers to arrange this fantastic day. And they had great support from local business with the sleigh being provided by Lo Rufete outdoor pursuit centre in San Miguel, and Jasons reindeer suit and Santa's outfit provided

by Party Time Fancy Dress Hire. Lots of toys were donated

by The Nook in Las Filipinas and Len and Audrey.

Maria thanked everyone who helped with the fundraiser for AECC and The San Jose Orphanage in Orihuela. She also thanked Suzy G for her continued support of Pink Lady events.

ADHOC’S WIFE RUN IS A BARREL OF FUN The cast of Adhoc’s Run For Your Wife

THE Adhoc Theatre Company has just celebrated a runaway success with its production of Ray Cooney’s hilarious farce Run For Your Wife.

Audience at the Escuela de Musica in Los Montesinos had plenty of belly laughs and the general opinion of theatre goers was that they hadn’t had so much fun for ages.

This amateur theatre group also had a roaring hit with Allo, Allo last year, and has raised thousands of euros for local Spanish charities. Despite having just finished one play, plans are already in the pipeline for the next production in April.

New members are always welcome and Adhoc is inviting anyone with an interest in the theatre to join the group.

Actors are needed and also backstage crew, painters, set builders, seamstresses and front of house staff to sell tickets and show guests to their seats.

“We are looking for all types and age ranges, as the more diverse a group we become the more variety of plays we can produce to raise money for charity,” says Jax Lawson, who bravely stepped in to play Sergeant Troughton when a main cast member fell ill two days before Run for you Wife was to be performed.

“Our aim is to entertain people while doing good for the local community.”

Jax is now the newly appointed Adhoc press officer and as an award-winning fundraiser is well known for her efforts to raise money for charity. The present members are a very friendly bunch and will soon be announcing an open evening for everyone interested in joining them.

If you have a skill you would like to share, a desire to tread the boards, or just want to have fun with a great group of people while raising money for good causes, email adhocspain@hotmail.com or phone 677 600 809.

Meeche’s hotshots

Busy time ahead for cancer charity

MABS has some important events coming up next month, here are a few to look out for.

Fun Night, including Terri’s sponsored head shave, January 25 at Alley Palais, Camposol Sector B, 7.30pm.

Tickets €3 from Alley Palais or call 620 582 418.

Meeting for bereaved families, January 27 at Cat’s Bar, Camposol Sector A, 2pm. This is a monthly informal chat for families who have lost someone to cancer. For further information call Ruth on 634 338 189.

Volunteers meeting, January 31, Trevi Bar, Camposol Sector B, 11.30am. MABS Mazarrón monthly meeting.

Volunteers always welcome. Call 620 582 418 for more details on how to become a volunteer.

MABS information centre is at Sensol Golf Villa Rentals Office, Camposol Sector B, and is open Monday to Friday,10.00am to 2.00pm.

Become a MABS volunteer, call 620 582 418, email info@mabsmurcia.com or visit www.mabsmurcia.com

Meeche Lewis and Sue Reader

MEMBERS of Pueblo Bravo Petanca Club spiced up a cold evening with an Indian meal after their game last Monday. Committee member Meeche Lewis had organised a dinner for club members and guests at The Indian Ocean restaurant in Dona Pepe.

An excellent meal and pleasant ambience were was complemented by an efficient and very friendly service.

After the meal Sue Reader from Paul Cunningham Nurses gave a short address on the work and help provided by the charity. The raffle that followed raised over €128, which was gratefully received by Sue, for this very worthy cause. A bouquet of flowers was presented to Meeche for the time and effort she had put in to organising and arranging the evening.

Friday, December 16, 2011

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Generous spirit is unmasked by ball GLASSES were clinking and conversation flowing at the Masquerade Ball in aid of Paul Cunningham Nurses last Saturday.

The stunning courtyard of La Herradura restaurant in Los Montesinos was packed with more than 70 people attending the event. With around 70 more in the main restaurant it was a very lively evening.

PDQ provided the entertainment and as usual after the meal there was no sitting down as band members Pete, Izzy and Lee got everyone moving.

Graeme Mykal from Absolute Magic was, as usual, absolutely magical performing his close-up tricks.

And La Herradura’s regular Saturday Night flamenco dancers, Virginea Gea and Javier Nunez, added to the magic of the night by putting on an extra performance for the guests of the ball.

Paul Cunningham Nurses thanked Francisco Lidon, chef Aurora Torres, and all of the wonderful staff at La Herradura for a great evening.

The charity also thanked everyone for their kind donations of raffle prizes and auction lots and praised the many people who helped on the night. With a generous auction bid, helped along by the flowing drinks, the final total raised was €1069.

WHEN the Harmonisers held their annual concert last November in Rojales theatre, Rosemary Scott from Algorfa (inset) won a hamper.

But rather than tucking into all the goodies herself, Rosemary decided the hamper should go on to make more

money for another charity. So, she very kindly gave it back to The Harmonisers so it could be raffled at a future event.

The hamper will now be raffled again at a charity event at the Municipal Theatre in Torrevieja on December 17 in aid of the AECC.

Pure Puccini magic PUCCINI’S showed how to put the fun into fundraising with a great event to raise money for the Davila/Grewar Family Fund. Diners were entertained and mystified by Magic Circle magician Graeme Mykal’s clever table tricks, and everyone agreed it was a really classy night.

Restaurant owner Maryo was thrilled to announce that an anonymous donor kicked off the evening with a €500 donation, and two people later donated €100 each.

Raffles and an auction added to the donation pot and Puccini’s donated €4.99 for every €14.99 meal ordered.

IN last week’s Courier we omitted the credit Kristoff on the Spangles photo on Page 6. We apologise for the oversight.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

A carb is a carb, right? WHAT ARE Wrong.

There are two main types of carbohydrates, and while the main function for both is to provide the body with energy, the rate at which they release energy into the body give them very different nutritional profiles.

First up, you get the most common carbohydrate — simple carbs. These provide the body with quick energy. They spike insulin levels to give the body a boost and are best consumed in the early morning, or when the body needs a pick-me-up of energy.

They release energy rapidly into the blood stream, however, this energy needs to be utilised immediately by the body, otherwise it is stored as fat.

Simple carbs include most of your high sugar fruits, for example, watermelon, strawberries, kiwi fruit, oranges, pears and plums, to name a few. While these are considered healthy options, an overconsumption of sugary fruit will most likely lead to an increase in weight. After all, these fruits are packed with sugar.

Then, there are simple carbohydrates that are packed with too much sugar. These foods should be kept to an absolute

minimum and avoided as much as possible, especially if weight loss is your goal. These include table sugar, gums, honey, chutney, chocolate and candy, cakes, jam, toffee, pickles and most puddings, to name a few.

It is also important to note that these high-sugar simple carbs can be derived from drinks as well, specifically fizzy, soft drinks and energy drinks.

The second group of carbohydrates are the complex carbs. These are different to simple carbs, but not that complex at all. They are called complex carbs because they provide your body with a steady supply of energy, that is, energy sustained for longer periods.

This type of carbs includes rice, pasta, potatoes, barley and wheat. The idea when consuming these complex carbs for weight loss is to avoid consuming them late at night when the energy they provide cannot be burnt off.

So the next time you pick up a banana and a slice of bread, know how they can provide you with different types of energy.

Healing Power of Colours

Chromotherapy is a method of treatment of diseases by colour. It is best used as a supportive therapy along with other natural methods of preserving health such as correct diet, adequate rest and relaxation, exercise, yogic asanas and so on.

According to practitioners of chromotherapy, the cause of any disease can be traced to the lack of a particular colour in the human system. Colour therapy is a technique of restoring imbalance by means of applying coloured light to the body. It was a popular method of cure even in ancient times. Some 2,500 years ago, Pythagoras applied colour light therapeutically and ‘colour halls’ were used for healing in ancient Egypt, China and India.

The pioneer of modern colour therapy was Niels Finsen of Denmark.

Following the discovery, in 1877, of the bactericidal action of solar ultraviolet energy, Finsen studied the possibility of assisting the healing of wounds with visible light. He subsequently used red light to inhibit the formation of smallpox scars and, in 1896, founded a Light Institute (now the Finsen Institute of Copenhagen) for the phototreatment of tuberculosis. In 1932, Gerrard and Hessay, two Californian psychologists, scientifically established that blue light had a calming effect and red a stimulating power on human beings.

Blue and red colours are considered at the two extremes with yellow representing the midpoint. These are also the three principal colours in a rainbow. A patient is first subjected to an examination to ascertain which colour he lacks. The deficiency is determined by observing the colour of the eyeballs, nails, urine and excrement. In cases of the lack of red the eyes and nails will be bluish, and the urine and excrement white or bluish. If there is a deficiency of the blue colour, the eyes and nails will be reddish and urine and excrement yellowish or red.

Every substance on earth contains colour. Even the rays cast on earth by celestial bodies contain colour in the form of white light. The rays of the sun contain seven different colours — violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red. These are natural colours which are highly beneficial to the maintenance of health and for healing diseases. According to Dr. Babbit, a well-known authority on chromotherapy, “sunlight is the principal curative agent in nature’s laboratory and where light cannot enter, disease does.

Chlorosis, anaemia, leukaemia, emaciation, muscular debility, degeneration of heart and liver, dropsical effusion, softening of bones, nervous excitability, physical deformity, stunted growth and consumption are the result of excluding oneself from the beneficial effects of sunlight.”

Sunlight plays an important role in the recovery from chronic diseases.

Judicious use of sunlight can be part of the curing process in almost every affliction. The rays of the sun improve digestion and nutrition, quicken blood and lymph circulation and increase the elimination of impurities through the skin.

The action and effect of various colours on the body and their healing qualities are as follows:

Red:

Symbolic of heat, fire and anger. It is a stimulating and energising colour.

It stimulates arterial blood and brings warmth to cool extremities. Used as a general tonic, it is very valuable in the treatment of diseases like low blood pressure, rheumatism, paralysis, anaemia and advanced cases of tuberculosis.

Orange:

Symbolic of prosperity and pride, orange is useful for stimulating blood supply and energising the nerves. It is beneficial in the treatment of kidney and gallstones, hernia and appendicitis. It is also used to stimulate the milk producing action of breasts after child-

birth.

SEIZURES?

Your brain controls how your body moves by sending out small electrical signals through the nerves to the muscles. At any given time, there is extensive electrical activity in the normal human brain due to the incoming, outgoing and crossing over of signals. The brain therefore has controlling mechanisms which prevent over activity or under activity. However, sometimes these mechanisms may be impaired and the activity is out of control. If there is any abnormal electrical activity in the brain, it can disrupt various processes and functions of the body. This may manifest as a seizure. While any seizure is cause for concern, having a seizure does not by itself mean a person has epilepsy. Epilepsy also known as a seizure disorder is usually diagnosed after a person has had at least two seizures that were not caused by some known medical condition like alcohol withdrawal or extremely low blood sugar.

Almost all seizures are sudden, short-lived and self-limiting, mostly occurring spontaneously without warning.

The symptoms that accompany a seizure depend on which part of the brain has experienced odd electrical activity. However, signs generally include a sudden altered state of consciousness; changed emotions, sensations or vision; involuntary muscle movements or lack of control, such as convulsions and falling; and a metallic or bitter taste in the mouth. A seizure typically lasts from several

Violet:

Violet is beneficial in the treatment of nervous and emotional disturbances, arthritis, acute cases of consumption and insomnia.

Yellow:

Associated with joy and happiness, yellow is laxative and diuretic. It is a stimulant to the brain, the liver and the spleen. It is also effective in the treatment of diabetes, indigestion, kidney and liver disorders, constipation, eye and throat infections, syphilis and impotence.

Purple:

Purple or indigo combines the blood-warming red and the cooling antiseptic blue. It is an excellent stimulant without being an irritant. It is beneficial in the treatment of advanced stages of constipation, hydrocle, leucorrhoea, many disorders of the stomach and womb, cataract, migraine and skin disorders. It exerts a soothing effect on the eyes, ears and the nervous system.

Green:

Made up of blue and yellow, green is regarded as a colour of harmony. It is a mild sedative. It is useful in the treatment of nervous conditions, hay fever, ulcers, influenza, malaria, colds, sexual disorders and cancer. It preserves and strengthens eyesight.

Being highly medicinal and depressive, it is of great help in the treatment of inflammatory conditions.

Blue:

Cool, soothing and sedative, blue alleviates pain, reducing bleeding and heals burns. It is beneficial in the treatment of dysentery, colic, asthma, respiratory disorders, high blood pressure and skin aberrations. In a study at the New England State Hospital in the United States, 25 members of staff with normal blood pressure were bathed in blue light for half an hour. It resulted in universal fall in blood pressure. The blood pressure rose when red light was applied.

minutes to approximately 15 minutes, and afterward, the individual usually goes into the postictal period, a deep state of sleep that shouldn't be interrupted. There can be a number of reasons why someone has a seizure. In fact anything that disturbs the normal pattern of brain activity, from illness to abnormal brain development, will cause seizures. Some possible causes may include: Infectionmeningitis, encephalitis, syphilis and HIV; high fever Many young children experience convulsions that are caused by fevers, called febrile seizures; Brain injury – caused by a stroke or head injury; Alcohol – particularly alcohol withdrawal; Sleep deprivation; Withdrawal from certain drugs, such as benzodiazepines and barbiturates; Physical and mental exhaustion; Hormonal changes linked with the menstrual cycle; Flickering lights - may be as innocuous as those from television or computer screens; and stress.

There is no single method that prevents every type of seizure. Nonetheless, people prone to experiencing seizures can take precautions to decrease their likelihood, such as avoiding stress and recreational drugs, eating properly, exercising regularly, following instructions for prescription drugs and getting sufficient sleep. Individuals with uncontrolled seizures should take prescribed medication diligently, never drive a vehicle and avoid solitary activities like biking that could lead to bodily injury during a seizure. In the event of a seizure, never force an object in the person's mouth to hold the tongue down because the item could harm the teeth or lead to other injuries.

Those nearby shouldn't hold the person down to prevent movement. If vomiting begins, turn the individual on his side to keep his stomach contents from flowing backward into the lungs, which could cause choking. Finally, always call emergency services immediately if a person has a seizure for the first time, because seizures can indicate an underlying and potentially fatal medical condition, such as meningitis.

Dr. Machi Mannu is a neuro repatterning Specialist.

Email contact@mindspa.es for any question.

Friday, December 16, 2011

27

28

Friday, December 16, 2011

Jeremy Clarkson’s favourite cars of 2011 Honda CR-Z Mugen

As is the annual tradition, Top Gear's curly-mopped trailblazer Jeremy Clarkson has released a new DVD in the run-up to Christmas.

This year, Jeremy heads to Circuit Paul Ricard in the south of France, where he gathers together his favourite cars of the year for a tyreshredding, rubber-ruining motoring fest that is Clarkson: Powered Up. See your favourite cars of the year, from Ferrari's first four-wheel-drive car, the FF, to McLaren's digital masterpiece, the MP4-12C, put through their paces by Clarkson 'This car started out in life as a hybrid. A car for the enthuand special guest, Lotus Formula One's Karun siasts of armpit hair and brown rice. But as you've probably Chandhok. noticed, it's been tweaked a bit...

We've assembled a gallery of the top cars featured in the ...what Mugen have done, they have taken the brown rice DVD and pithy quotes from the man himself. and smothered it in pepper sauce.'

Brutus

Lamborghini Gallardo Performante

'This car is the stuff of nigh'Some supercars these days are as serious as an evening at the theatre watching something 'This car is the stuff of nightmares. It is the 10th circle of dreary and Shakespearean. This, though, this is pure panto.

You can tell it was built purely for fun.' hell. The very embodiment of evil.'

McLaren MP4-12C 'This car may sound like it's from page 57 of the Hewlett Packard catalogue, but it is one of the fastest road cars in the world right now.'

Nissan GT-R 'When it comes to the question of value for money, there is almost nothing in the petrolhead's treasure chest that even gets close to this. This is the perfect blend of electrical and mechanical engineering. It is genuinely astonishing. It's a kick in the teeth for God and his silly laws of physics.'

29

Friday, December 16, 2011

Citroen DS3 Racing

Eagle Speedster

'This is the Citroen DS3 Racing and what this wants to be most of all is a novelty pair of knickers. It's not the hottest hot hatch but because of all the silly writing and the madness, I believe it is the best.'

Ferrari 458 Italia 'I realise of course that in every tangible way, the McLaren MP4 dash 12C we looked at earlier is better. But in every intangible way this batters the big Brit's bottom. Batters it! It's like driving something that is actually alive.'

'No one who buys this car is going to expect the last word in precision. What they are going to expect - and what they will get - is half a million pounds' worth of dreams.'

Jensen Interceptor R RenaultSport Clio 200

'This, of course, is a Jensen Interceptor. Except for one thing. It isn't. The glorious Italian styling remains unchanged.

And thank god for that. But underneath the louvered bonnet the old 7.2-litre Chrysler engine has been thrown away and replaced with the 6.2-litre V8 from a Corvette. So it's much faster than it was before. And much nicer.'

'This is an eighty thousand-pound BAC Mono. Designed and built in Cheshire, you would imagine it would be fitted with gold taps and a steering wheel made from onyx. But no, styled to look like an F22 Raptor, it uses a 2.3-litre Cosworth engine and a Formula Three Hewland sequential gearbox.'

'On a road like this, twisting, turning through the woods, keep it on the boil, it's just electrifyingly quick.'

Reduced prices for bottom half of cars

Talk about a Rear Wheel Drive Car..

Attention Tree Ahead!!

Most road builders may have cut the tree down but not these ones...

Stop, and dont go left, right, back or forwards!!

BAC Mono

30

Friday, December 16, 2011

Can you re-home a dog or cat for Christmas?

Give them the best Christmas present they could ever want...a warm loving home.

Remember a dog (or cat!) is not just for Christmas!

Paddy is 4 years old, his owners were moving to Singapore and unfortunately could not take him with them. He is a very quiet dog and is no trouble at all.

He is chipped, vaccinated and castrated. 616210850.

This beautiful Siamese kitten is one of 5 that were abandoned at the Vets. He is 5 weeks old had a slightly runny nose when brought in but has now recovered and ready for a new home. Call: 966 725 975.

Milly is very sweet and is

Kia who was found in an abandoned building after being run over by a car, her front leg was broken at the joint and healed by itself.

Kia is very affectionate and gets on well with other dogs. She is a Belgian shepherd cross about 2 years old. Call: 659 274 573.

Scamp is 11 months old, he was found sitting by the bins in Campoverde. He is very cheeky and loves to wag his tail constantly when he sees you. He is going to be a large dog but a big softy.

Scamp has been chipped and is fully vaccinated and castrated. 616210850

Hudson

Pixie was found by the side of the road in Santiago de la Ribera aged just 8 weeks old with her 2 sisters. They were in a terrible condition and petrified. They had obviously been outside for a while as they were covered in ticks and flees and had the most horrendous worms.

They were so underweight and poorly that the vet couldn’t even give them their injections. Now she is 10 months old and a beautiful little girl, she runs around the garden chasing the other dogs, she loves to be cuddled and go for walks, her sisters have been re-homed. She has been vaccinated and microchipped and spayed.

616210850

is

a

beautiful

German Shepherd X who was seen being thrown out of a van in the middle of the night. He was very thin, but after lots of TLC he is starting to gain weight. He is vaccinated, micro-chipped and castrated. All Hudson wants to do is be by someone’s side.

He walks well on a

lead, and is learning that there is more to life than food! He will be a wonderful, loyal and faithful dog for someone willing to give him a loving home. 616210850.

Lilly is approx 5 yrs old and has been looking for a home for over a year now. She is vaccinated, spayed and would love a warm fire to snuggle up in front of for Christmas. Call: 688 228 900

Ringo was born in June 2010

Muppet was found in our garden one morning running round. He is only about 2 months old and needs a loving home. We cannot keep him as we both work long hours and cannot spend the time with him that he needs.

For more information call: 609 922 285

Roddy is 9 years old, he was a rescue dog when he was a little puppy, his owners love him dearly but due to ill health they are no longer able to care for him. He is very well behaved and hardly ever barks. He has been chipped, castrated and vaccinated. 616210850

Tyson is 11 months old he was found with his 2 sister in a cardboard box at only 8 weeks. He is very playful and loves to run with the other dogs. To arrange to see Tyson please contact Natasha on 616210850 or visit our website www.apahrescue.org

Lady is a 2 year old German Shepherd greyhound cross.

She was found as a puppy in a doorway in San Miguel.

She was very quickly rehomed but due to personal circumstances her owners have had to return to the UK so she is looking for a new home. She is very good with children and has a gentle and loving nature. Lady has been spayed and all her vaccinations are up to date. If you can give Lady a new home please contact Natasha on 616210850 or visit our website www.apahrescue.org

Dylan is a 5 year old, beautiful Belgian Shepherd X. He was found on the side of the road near Rebate, he was very dehydrated with a huge wound to the whole of his back area. Dylan had almost given up and never attempted to move when approached. He was taken to the vets but his wound was so severe that he had to be sedated for it to be cleaned.

We are looking for a long term foster home for him, all the cost of his food and medical bills will be covered by APAH all we ask is that you have the time and love to give him. He walks well on his lead and loves to run in the garden.

Please contact Natasha on 616210850 if you would like to make an appointment to see Dylan or visit our website www.apahrescue.org

Katie is a 12 month old Lurcher cross. She was found in Calpe wandering in the orange groves and was very traumatised and frightened of everyone. After lots of care and love from the people at the kennels she has started to come out of her shell and would make a great pet, Katie is great with other, vaccinated and spayed. Call: 680 285 027.

approx 1 year old. She is like a small Border Collie and gets on well with other dogs.

She is vaccinated, chipped and has her passport. Call: 659 274 573

and was brought to us with his 4 brothers. He is a friendly cat and has been vaccinated and neutered. Call: 688 228 900.

Poppy is approx 10 months old and had her ears and tail cut by her previous owner, she is still a beautiful girl who really needs love and affection. She will be a large dog, walks well on the lead, is vaccinated and house trained. Call: 659 274 573

Freddy is approx 8 yrs old and was a loyal pet to his owner, unfortunately his owners were not loyal to him and abandoned him.

He loves being around people and is a very friendly boy. He is vaccinated, neutered and chipped. Call: 688 228 900.

Dexter is a 20 month old Weimaraner.

He is neutered, vaccinated and has his pet passport. He is loving and loyal, good with all people, adults and children. He is living with two other Weimaraners and a cat at the moment but he doesn’t like small dogs and is best suited to a home without any other dogs. Call 965 996 807.

Do you have a spare few hours a week? We desperately need people to work in our shops and on our market stall please contact Natasha on 616210850.

31

Friday, December 16, 2011

91.9fm & 87.7fm www.tkofm.com email: studio@tkofm.com Text: 667 287 588 Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ December 16

96.7fm & 87.5fm

Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm.

1. Born Marie Lawrie in 1948.

2. Dan Hartman had a 1978 with this tune.

3. This non drinking trad jazz band were " Driven Crazy in the 60s.

www.tkogold.com email: studio@tkogold.com Call: 966 720 473 Text: 672 806 866

4. Herb & Jerry formed this record label in 1962.

5. A blinking good group.

6. He was the Son of Hickory Hollows Tramp.

7. "Tell Her No" was a moderate hit for this group in 1965.

8. The Commodores came from this American state.

32

Friday, December 16, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 12 represents B and 2 represents X, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Chaos (5) 4 Cavalry sword (5) 8 Absence of sound (7) 9 Stationary (5) 10 Play (5) 11 Hold in contempt (7) 12 Frightened (6) 14 Programme (6) 17 Time away from work (7) 19 Inventories (5) 21 Begin (5) 22 Exceed (7) 24 Mistake (5) 25 Robbery (5)

Down 1 Owns (3) 2 Russian river (5) 3 Curving inward (7) 4 Stable (6) 5 Foundation (5) 6 Building (7) 7 Ignorant (8) 10 Reveal (8) 13 Stir violently (7) 15 Perpetrator (7) 16 Expurgate (6) 18 Speak (5) 20 Surplus (5) 23 Take your seat (3)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Section, 5 Toast, 8 Ounce, 9 Concave, 10 Czech Republic, 11 Museum, 12 Tissue, 15 Electric chair, 18 Inhabit, 19 Equip, 20 Gorse, 21 Oakland.

Down: 1 Stoic, 2 Confess, 3 Inexhaustible, 4 Nickel, 5 Tongue-in-cheek, 6 Avail, 7 Treacle, 11 Meeting, 13 Spatula, 14 Bistro, 16 Ether, 17 Rapid.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Draws funny star tenor act (8) 7 Up the stakes for more pay (5) 8 Battle urn broken on the carousel (9) 9 Finish off Arthurian legend (3) 10 Coin found in outer Andes (4) 11 Fears make it sadder (6) 13 Method of making tea messy? (6) 14 Against some drivers using mobile phones (6) 17 Plant part of Augusta men's seeds (6) 18 Tanners catch fish (4) 20 A parliamentarian has power (3) 22 Campaign carried out in the theatre (9) 23 Tenant has no right to come in (5) 24 Emphasises, if it distresses, I'd get out (8)

Down 1 Change later (5) 2 Royal seats set off hornets (7) 3 Performs on stage, appearing after John (4) 4 Knight's tunic is the result of bad art (6) 5 Nasty rash obtained from national archives (5) 6 Bent dealers are the bosses (7) 7 It's told to one of the family (7) 12 US lawmaker involved in treason (7) 13 Sauna user's jumper (7) 15 Black leg that is endless infection (7) 16 Up to date and found in here, centre stage (6) 17 Pinpoints a vessel inside another (5) 19 The kitchen features are drops in the ocean (5) 21 Surprising name for locks (4)

STANDARD CLUES

23 Go into (5) 24 Tensions (8) Down 1 Change (5) 2 Chairs of state (7) 3 Behaves (4) 4 Outer tunic (6) 5 Nettle rash (5) 6 Heads (7) 7 Of the same family (7) 12 Member of the senate (7) 13 Jersey (7) 15 Skin infection (7) 16 Up-to-date (6) 17 Dots (5) 19 Descends (5) 21 Head of hair (4)

Across 1 Pulls in (8) 7 Increase (5) 8 Circular revolving plate (9) 9 Finish (3) 10 South African monetary unit (4) 11 Fears (6) 13 Method (6) 14 Against (6) 17 Flower's male reproductive organ (6) 18 Beams (4) 20 Unit of electric current (3) 22 Undertaking (9)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Cantata, 5 Asset, 8 Lends, 9 Emanate, 10 Notre Dame, 12 Ewe, 13 Scale, 14 Levels, 17 Aye, 18 Unopposed, 20 Illicit, 21 Resin, 23 Gorge, 24 Laramie.

Down: 1 Colon, 2 Nun, 3 Austere, 4 Arenas, 5 Abase, 6 Shapeless, 7 Theseus, 11 Traveller, 13 Slating, 15 Emperor, 16 Hostel, 18/22 Uncle Sam, 19 Dunce.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Vim Sago Dowse Ace 4 letter words Sari Easel Ago Arch Sits Eaves Ale Area Skew Enrol All Atop Sled Lisps Are Dare Sloe Midst CID Dote Smut Sisal Eel Edit Solo State Era Feta Spat Taste Ice Gong That 6 letter words Map Heft Tops Absent Old Hiss Yeti Attire Pal Idea 5 letter words Diadem Pan Lees Abeam Prayer Pie Link Acres 8 letter words Sap Moss Apron Meteoric Sir Odes Atlas Parallel Ten Onto Aural

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Imagen (en foto, dibujo, televisión) (7) 5 Fishing (5) 8 Cuero (piel) (7) 9 Job (task) (5) 10 Oveja (5) 11 Church (building) (7) 12 Siempre (indicando frecuencia) (6) 14 Recipe (6) 17 Filling (culinary) (7) 19 Deudas (obligaciones) (5) 22 Arriba (indicando situación) (5) 23 Onion (7) 24 Floor (of room) (5) 25 Hijastro (7)

Down 1 Píldoras (5) 2 Code (cipher) (5) 3 Infeliz (persona) (7) 4 Tijereta (insecto) (6) 5 Pétalo (5) 6 Southeast (7) 7 Air hostess (7) 12 Atrasos (finanzas) (7) 13 Bienvenida (a un lugar) (7) 15 Weak (7) 16 Flies (insects) (6) 18 January (5) 20 Campanas (de iglesias, puertas) (5) 21 Mancha (de aceite, pintura) (5)

33

Friday, December 16, 2011 Across 1 Which city is the state capital of North Dakota? (8) 7 Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov was the real name of which Russian communist leader? (5) 8 Which 19th century Italian patriot, along with his Redshirts, led the fight for Italian freedom? (9) 9 What name is given to the human upper limb, especially the part between the shoulder and the wrist?

(3) 10 Originally a South African name for a journey by ox wagon, what name is now applied to a trip or movement especially when involving difficulties or complex organisation? (4) 11 What name is given to any of numerous complex thallophytic plants made up of an alga and a fungus growing in symbiotic association on a solid surface such as a rock? (6) 13/17D What nickname is shared by Denmark Street in London and West 28th Street between Broadway and Sixth Avenue in Manhattan? (3,3,5) 14 What name is often applied to the golden statuettes awarded annually by the American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for notable achievement in motion pictures? (6) 17 Which legendary king of the Britons is said to have led the Knights of the Round Table at Camelot? (6) 18/5 Which Ghanaian international civil servant became the seventh secretary-general of the United Nations in 1997? (4,5) 20 Which obsolete English unit of length (as for cloth) was equal to 45 inches (1.14 metres)? (3)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

22 Which Alpine plant was a UK Top 10 hit for singer Vince Hill in 1967? (9) 23 Which international organisation was established by the governments of Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, and Thailand in 1967 to accelerate economic

growth, social progress, and cultural development and to promote peace and security in Southeast Asia? (5) 24/7D By what other name is the Aurora Borealis also known?

(8,6) Down 1 What name is often applied to a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices? (5) 2 Which word can follow plastic, tree and veterinary? (7) 3 Which Swedish pop group won the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest? (4) 4 Macauley who starred as Kevin McCallister in the 1990 film Home Alone? (6) 5 See 18 Across 6 What name is given to the pins/pointers on sundials? (7) 7 See 24 Across 12 What name is given to a portable chest with compartments for carrying bottles or for cooking and eating utensils? (7) 13 Which city is the capital of Iran? (7) 15 Which word means to reduce to minute particles or to a fine spray? (7) 16 Named after a country club in New York where it was first worn, how do Americans normally refer to a dinner jacket? (6) 17 See 13 Across 19 What was the surname of the Norwegian playwright whose works include Peer Gynt, A Doll's House and Hedda Gabler?

(5) 21 Which word means to hit with a sharp slapping blow usually with an instrument? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

Conjunctions - conjunciones Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

sports QUIZ 1. In Which City Is The Hungarian Grand Prix Contested?

2. Which City Do The Maple Leafs Ice Hockey Team Come From?

3. What held up a cricket test match between England and Pakistan?

4. Which Sport Is Played By The Philadelphia Flyers?

5. With what sport would you associate the 'Castle Cup', 'Red Stripe Cup' and the 'Ranji Trophy'?

6. Which Country Does The Athlete Merlene Ottey Represent?

7. How is British sportsman Francis Thompson more usually known?

8. Between 1920 & 1928 How Many Gold Medals Were Run By The Finnish Distance Runner Paavo Nurmi?

9. At Which Sport Was Hungarian Victor Barna World Singles Champion 5 Times?

10. Who Was The Last British Cricketer To Be Named BBC Sports Personality Of The Year?

1. Budapest 2. Toronto 3. Mouse on the pitch 4. Ice Hockey 5. Cricket 6. Jamaica 7. Daley Thompson 8. Nine 9. Table Tennis 10. Andrew/ Freddie Flintoff

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Chris Rea, 7 Snail, 8 Emphysema, 9 Tin, 10 Hoar, 11 Medusa, 13/15 Nelson Mandela, 14 Carmen, 17 Oakley, 18 Anka, 20 Boa, 22 Evergreen, 23 Reins, 24 Delaware.

Down: 1 Czech, 2 Raphael, 3 Styx, 4 Exeter, 5 Malta, 6 Clinton, 7 Samurai, 12 Monkees, 13 Numbers, 16 Selene, 17 Oasis, 19 Annie, 21 Agra.

15. felizmente, 16. tristemente, 17. desafortunadamente, 18. aunque, 19. sin embargo, 20. y, 21. ademas. a. although, b. and, c. until, d. soon, e. after, f. also, g. besides, h. when,

EBAXBOWEDWEAEOO J T B U D P O R Q U E F T C T H U N N N LC I Y B D O N Z N U MAE U Q I SAF T R EAO N U D E M I U X X RAT M P R C E G E F L K E I C D U Z R P Z O I C S P A S M F E N I I S W N G B O PTN S I MALM D K SAR M E U E I ZAD E E G CGEPMACEWFSAFRH Z S O ETNTPS H F M D O P OCNNOOGRABMENIS N TTTAT SAH B W N B QA E I N M I E N T R A S T W B L BEQAFEMAMMHETGV Soduko

Span - Eng

i. finally, j. unfortunately. k. however, l. while, m. later, n. then, o. because, p. first, q. for this reason, r. so, s. fortunately, t. happily, u. sadly.

Answers: 1e, 2i, 3p, 4n, 5m, 6l, 7d, 8c, 9h, 10o, 11q, 12r, 13s, 14f, 15t, 16u, 17j, 18a, 19k, 20b, 21g.

1. despues, 2. finalmente, 3. primero, 4. entonces, 5. luego, 6. mientras, 7. pronto, 8. hasta, 9. cuando, 10. porque, 11. por eso, 12. asi que, 13. afortunadamente, 14. tambien,

ADEMAS

HASTA

AFORTUNADA-

LUEGO

MENTE

MIENTRAS

ASI-QUE

POR-ESO

AUNQUE

PORQUE

CUANDO

PRIMERO

DESPUES

PRONTO

ENTONCES

SIN-EMBARGO

FELIZMENTE

TAMBIEN

FINALMENTE

TRISTEMENTE

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, December 16, 2011

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 Your prejudices may lead you astray today and leave you requiring four or five stitches.

Today might be the day when you get stuck in a hole with a dwarf. Remember all the research you did into dwarf habits in order to prevent mental breakdown.

Work Stress Dear Rose. I love my job but at the moment I feel I am too involved in it. Problems keep arising and I am struggling to cope with the stress it brings.

It has now come to a point where I constantly worry over the smallest thing. I don't want to leave and feel it would take a lot for me to resign. However my health is been affected and the worrying is doing me no good. I need to make a decision on what I need to do weather to leave or keep the job I love?

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Looking for a saviour is a commendable past-time. However, ignoring your personal hygiene is a forfeit that you really shouldn't have made. You claim that no-one is able to see the future, and yet I foresee that you will understand this never to be not untrue in your own destiny.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 You may hear good news today from an excitable old lady who may turn out to be drunk. Money makes the world go round only in a metaphorical sense. Now that you understand that, try not to embarrass yourself in front of other by declaring that other metaphorical phrases are indeed based on science and physics.

Cancer June 21 - July 22

SALLY San Pedro

Scarves wrapped around your head in the Rambo style are luckily starred this week, as are armless tops even if it is getting a bit cold these days.Your destiny has a bone to pick with you.

l

Hello Sally. If it is affecting your health, and bothering you outside of work, then you need to speak to someone. Speak to your team leader or manager or whoever, and say that you are struggling.

Ask if there is someone who you can borrow for a couple of hours to do some typing, photocopying, filing, whatever it may be, which frees you up to do the bigger stuff. I don't know what you do, but I will ask the office junior, who just answers the phone, to do the filing, which can take ages, while I write letters or contact clients. It means that I am a bit more relaxed when speaking to them, because I know that I don't have to do all the filing afterwards, meaning I have more time to talk.

I wouldn't leave unless you have exhausted all other options. Work is stressful, but you say you love your job, so find ways around it, and work out a strategy to deal with the extra jobs and problems. It won't happen overnight, so don't wake up the next day expecting everything to be OK, but gradually get yourself into a routine of coping, asking others to help etc.

Unwelcome Affection Hi Rose. I don't really know how to explain this so I'll just put down the facts.

I am friendly with a family who I have to see on a regular basis anyway (church) but they have always been very nice. Well the husband sometimes makes in-appropriate jokes, the wife scolds him for it and it's always been in good humour sort of.

Well the past few times if I've been left in a room alone with him I feel very uncomfortable about it so try to

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es avoid it.

Today the wife asked me to come round and help her with her computer. But when I arrived she was leaving with the kids, said she'd forgotten about something and her husband had just reminded her. I wasn't keen but didn't want to let on so went in when her husband held the door open and gestured for me to come in. we went to the computer which was unusually low down so I had to crouch to sort it. As soon as I touched the mouse the screen lit up with a "forced sex" website, pretty sick gruesome stuff.

He then put his hand on my shoulder and said he wanted my opinion on the site. I got scared and turned to stand up and he had a pretty obvious erection. Thankfully I'm taller and probably stronger than him so stood up to full height so I might appear intimidating enough for him to back off. He did a bit but then became very suggestive. I said I was leaving and that he should be thankful I hadn't called the police.

I now don't know what to do. I don't think the wife would honestly believe me if I told her but she always seems a little scared of him and I'm worried for her safety.

MARY Via email

l

Hello Mary. Your safety coming first, you did the right thing to get out of the house. Whether you tell your friend or not is a call you have to make she may not believe you, or she may say that she doesn't believe you even if she does. Obviously this is likely to be a particularly

sensitive topic if your affiliation is through the church. Even if she does believe you and is aware of the issue she may not want to take any action herself you may well be right that there are issues of domestic abuse within the household, but without any evidence there is nothing that you can do other than be supportive of your friend and any decisions that she does make. How close are you as friends?

However, in the general interests of the safety of all if anything ever does happen again then do call the police and make a complaint of sexual assault. In this instance the police would have been able to gain hard evidence by taking the hard drive for analysis which would have shown the website that he was looking at the time - it wouldn't just have been your word against his.

Other charges could have been made against him if the website was found to have illegal material. You can still report this to the police and make a complaint against him, and if you do please do inform them that there are children in the house and you are concerned that they may also be exposed to this material.

stand. Time passed and I lost contact with him.

I am now currently in a relationship with a man who I love very much (call him man B), I have been with him for 2 years and things have been going well...until man A recently got into contact with me again, we got talking and he told me that he has always had extremely strong feelings for me and still does, and I admit that there is something about him that I can’t get out of my head.

We decided to meet up for a chat and I ended up going back to his house and we spent an AMAZING night together, he was by far the most passionate and thoughtful lover I have ever had. He knows about man B and will not tell him about our night, but we are planning to do it again. And the worst part is i don't even feel guilty about it.

I want to stay in a relationship with man B and Man A knows that and accepts it.

Am i a bad person? What should i do?

FRANCES Torrevieja

l

Hello Frances. I don't think anything is ever as simple as "good people" and "bad people" but you are putting man B at risk of significant hurt as well as ending a relationship that is apparently important to you.

Put yourself in man B’s shoes for a minute.

Imagine he wrote the post above, saying he was sleeping with a woman Dear Rose. A few years who had once been his back I had this male best best friend, who was the friend, (let’s call him man A) best lover he'd ever had we were unbelievably close and was going to continue. and I started to get some If you're going to do this, feelings for him. It never real- be honest with yourself ly went anywhere until we about the potential consehad a drunken one night quences.

Am I Bad?

Leo July 23 - August 22 Laughing outrageously will occur on a bus, train or taxi on the 15th after an off color reference to a turkey breast.

This week your destiny wears the cape and trunks of the competent well groomed super hero.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Feeling the beat has never been better starred this week with even the most Dadish or late middle aged uncle-ish of Virgo men being able to dance like someone cool.Your destiny has the debit card but can't remember the pin number in the cash machine of life.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Dodgy looking hats that look like hair pieces are your covering-up-your-head-whenoutside planetary endorsed method this week, for both the bald and the hairy alike.

Dancing, singing, penguins are your preferred invisible friends this week.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Turkey is about to become extremely unlucky for all Scorpio across the world. Bad luck, parking fines and charges of stalking are all in the stars for turkey abuse in all of its forms.Blue leather continues to be your preferred fetish gear.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Hairy backs are about to become fashionable again in a brief moment of 1970s flash back heaven/horror depending on your preferences.Your destiny craves the sensual touch of a person who looks like but isn't Russell Brand.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Buzzing, flying, insects, are your lucky creepie crawlies this month, watch carefully where they rest for therein may be a message from the planets.Rodents of all colors but only small to medium size, will have a beneficial impact on your lifestyle this week especially where water or cheese is concerned.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Talking in a yabbery made up language is mediumly starred for most of the week and for 65% of the rest of the year.

Your destiny plays the tambourines in the folk group that is your life.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Glitter in clothes, bright hair colors, and glittery finger polish are your preferred flaming gay attire this week, along with the matching bright shiny clothing and pointy shoes or boots.Given the choice between flashing and stay on all the time Christmas tree lights, choose the cheapest.

Friday, December 16, 2011

35

TRELI ON THE TELLY

Ex soap star 10, X-Factor bea-ten WHAT does it say about ‘The X Factor’ that Saturday’s showpiece Wembley final was beaten in the ratings by an old Aussie soap star getting maximum points on ’Strictly Come Dancing’?

Perhaps I’m being a little unfair, but ‘Strictly’ has got its act together in this current season, whilst X Factor has had a mediocre collection of talent, with the far from impressive girl group, Little Mix taking the victory laurels on Sunday night.

I thought runner-up Marcus Collins totally outsang them on the new single, Cannonball, but neither act could hold a candle to the original version by Damien Rice.

Gary Barlow has expressed the view that genuine singing talent like Misha B and Craig Colton got a poor deal, and I go along with him. That’s why, despite still getting good ratings, the show has lost its way, though the Wembley finals were admittedly terrific.

It was just a shame about the acts, with the best of the three, Amelia Lily, wrongly dismissed on the Saturday night after a fantastic duet with her mentor, Kelly Rowland.

What I also think didn’t go down well with the public was the level of bitching amongst the new judging panel. In the auditions, everything looked good amongst the four, but

with ALEX TRELINSKI

xx

when we got to the live shows, things started to get dirty.

Of course we expect a good row here and there, but some of the stuff crossed the line, especially with Barlow against Louis Walsh and Tulisa, and Tulisa versus Kelly Rowland, which could certainly not be described as knockabout fun.

In watching the US version, you can tell that Simon Cowell and his judges do actually get on, and although harsh words are uttered, you know that since they are friends, it’s all a bit in jest. And Cowell knows when not to cross the line, as well as being really funny at times.

That hasn’t been the case in Britain, and let’s be totally honest, Cowell has been badly missed. The great news, though, is that he’ll be back in the judge’s chair for the full series of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, which starts recording the first auditions next month.

Meanwhile back to ‘Strictly Come Dancing’, which I think will pull in a cracking BBC1 audience for tomorrow’s final.

Despite the endeavours of the likes of Jason Donovan, who I don’t totally rule out, having picked him as the winner months ago, I reckon McFly fans will be voting big-time for drummer Harry Judd, who has been brilliant with his partner, Aliona Viliani.

Of course it will be a quick double win for the band, Dougie Poynter having won ‘I’m a Celebrity….’ a fortnight ago. That only leaves the lead singer, Tom Fletcher, to do a reality show this year, but time has virtually run out!

anchors. With all the fuss over singing and dancing competitions, the UK Professional Championships almost sneaked by without notice on BBC2, but it was great to see the big new star, Judd Trump, lift the title on Sunday night.

My main criticism of the coverage is the constant prattle from the commentators which is just not necessary.

On the BBC’s “red button” during the tournament, they showed some great archive footage in which the commentaBritish organisations have not learnt a jot since ITV first tors had the perfect instinct when to say something and when started transmitting back in 1955. If you give them a premium to keep it zipped.

I actually don’t blame the current generation, of which the event, they’ll always make a cock-up of it, and that was certainly the case on the night with this year’s Royal Variety best are Dennis Taylor and John Virgo. It’s the fault of the Performance. The show used to alternate between the BBC producers, who don’t do their job properly in telling them and ITV, but amazingly the commercial channel signed a ten- when to shut up.

A little bit of TV history went by unnoticed on Sky One last year exclusive deal to screen the event. No wonder the Queen couldn’t be bothered to go, as the whole evening was week, with the last ever episode of ‘Law and Order’. Along full of technical foul-ups which were edited out of the final with the western series ‘Gunsmoke’, both dramas shared the version. The actual night lasted over four hours, with the record of being on-screen for 20 years in America. excellent host Peter Kay having to ad lib for ages to cover all A terrific achievement in such a cut-throat market, and the technical gaffes. On the plus side, the finished product especially since ‘Law and Order’ always offered intelligent looked good, with old-man Tony Bennett stealing the show, viewing, along with a fascinating insight into the American and Barry Manilow not that far behind. legal system.

Credit as well to this year’s winner of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, My favourite characters were the detective Lennie Briscoe, Jai McDowall, who gave a wonderful version of the U2 clas- played by the late Jerry Orbach, and the Chief Prosecutor sic, ‘With or Without You’. who became District Attorney, Jack McCoy, as portrayed by Gone are the mass ratings, but I still hold a lot of affection Sam Waterston. for snooker as one of the very best TV sports. The BBC covThe show will be very sadly missed, and I suggest that ITV erage of the three ranking events it shows is always excel- buy it, and screen it instead of the sub-standard UK version lent, and I rate Hazel Irvine among British TV’s finest sports they’ve cobbled up.

MR POPPER’S PENGUINS 12 MR POPPER’S PENGUINS is as irresistible to kids as it is to adults.

Based on the novel by Richard and Florence Atwater, it is time-honored tale of a man who has lost the wonder of childhood only to regain it in the most unexpected of fashions.

The loss was the result of the titular Mr. Popper (Jim Carrey) being disappointed by his father’s long absences when he was growing up. The senior Popper was an explorer and though Popper

CAST: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Maxwell Perry Cotton, Andrew Stewart-Jones DIRECTOR: Mark Waters GENRE: Comedy RATING: 4/5 RUNNING TIME: 95 min.

junior’s imagination was fired by stories and souvenirs of faraway places, it didn’t make up for the missed birthdays.

Unfortunately, when he grows up, he follows the example set for him and makes the same mistakes. The difference is that his adventures are in New York City real estate, where the long hours and cynical business attitude

Law and Order: On screen for 20 years in America

have cost him his wife (Carla Gugino) and is threatening to completely alienate him from his kids, teenage daughter Janie (Madeline Carroll) and her younger brother, Billy (Maxwell Perry Cotton) as well. The talent for wheeling and deal-

ing to the exclusion of all else, though, has put him in prime position to become a partner in his firm. It all hangs on one deal, the one piece of property, Tavern on the Green in Central Park, that no one has been able to persuade its owner, grand dame society matron Mrs. Van Gundy (Angela Lansbury), to sell. Popper, a man quick

This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel 650 751 072 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

on his feet and with wits even quicker, grabs the opportunity with gusto, ably assisted by his secretary, Pippi ( O p h e l i a Lovibond). All is going well until he’s foiled by the last present his father will ever send him. A penguin.

Soon joined by five other penguins who take over his life, charm his children into wanting to be around him, and yet threaten hearth, home, and his future with his firm...

36

The Courier Friday TV

16th December

00:30 This Week 01:15 Skiing Weatherview 01:20 How to Survive the Meltdown - Panorama 01:50 Countryfile 02:45 Antiques Roadshow 03:45 Britain's Hidden Heritage 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Noise Squad 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 17:30 Postcode 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:20 02:55 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 07:00 07:10

Leonardo The Company Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close Little Robots Guess with Jess

07:20 Finley the Fire Engine 07:35 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Gimme a Break 08:25 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 Iconicles 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Something Special: Out and About 10:40 Charlie and Lola 10:55 Zingzillas 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:25 Louie 11:35 Octonauts 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Animal Park 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Coast 19:00 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 MasterChef the Professionals: Michel's Classics 22:00 Stuffed: The Great British Christmas Dinner 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 A Night with Will Young 01:30 The Zone 03:30 Counting on Christmas: Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Murder, She Wrote 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Big Quiz - Coronation Street v Emmerdale 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Unforgiven

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Black Mirror: The National Anthem 01:10 British Comedy Awards: The Nominations Show 02:05 Faintheart 03:35 Southland 04:20 Happy Endings 04:45 Japan's Tsunami: Caught on Camera 06:00 Unreported World 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss Australia 10:55 Kirstie and Phil's Perfect Christmas 11:55 A SuperScrimpers Christmas 13:00 Drop Down Menu 14:15 Miracle on 34th Street 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 British Comedy Awards 2011

BRITISH COMEDY AWARDS 2011 Jonathan Ross hosts the annual awards ceremony that celebrates the country's greatest comedians, pitting new talent against established actors, actresses and entertainment personalities. Stars and celebrities are on hand to dish out the prestigious accolades in a show that also features clips of the funniest TV moments of the year.

01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Wildlife SOS 05:35 Wildlife SOS 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Mickey Mouse: Have a Laugh 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 15:25 CSI: NY 16:20 Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 19:55 Cars Toons 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Speed

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT...

No Underwear

EuroEnglish

A Torrevieja couple who drove their car to Consum, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.

The wife stood back up, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

THE European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's govt conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": -In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

Truth in advertising?

Decomposing...

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave.

They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously. "He's decomposing!"

How Does That Work?

R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighbourhood.

When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked to use his I.D. for an example. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

37

The Courier Saturday TV

17th December

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 Millions 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 Fry's Planet Word 03:05 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:05 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Home Cooking Made Easy 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 Equestrian 15:25 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds 15:55 Who Framed Roger Rabbit 17:30 Final Score 18:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:30 A Question of Sport 19:00 Winter Wipeout 20:00 Strictly Come Dancing 21:10 Merlin 21:55 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 22:05 Strictly Come Dancing Final The Results 23:15 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 23:30 National Lottery Update

00:00 The End of Year Review Show

01:05 02:45 03:45 04:00 04:05 07:00 07:05 Teal 07:20 07:30 07:45 08:00 08:25 08:50 09:05 09:35 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30 12:00 12:15 12:25 12:45 14:40 16:25 17:25 18:05 20:05 21:20 22:00

Where the Truth Lies The Culture Show HARDtalk BBC News Close Little Charley Bear The Adventures of Abney & Raa Raa the Noisy Lion Octonauts Mike the Knight Roar Arthur Dennis and Gnasher Pixelface Splatalot Deadly 60 Dick & Dom Go Wild Who Let the Dogs Out? I Want My Own Room Deadly Art Dennis and Gnasher MOTD Kickabout The Preacher's Wife Splash Flog It! One Man and His Dog Triple Cross Top Gear Dad's Army Defiance

01:00 The Zone 02:00 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Columbo: Ashes to Ashes 05:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 This Morning: Saturday 13:40 ITV News and Weather 13:44 Meridian Weather 13:45 Countrywise Kitchen: Stocking the Winter Larder 14:15 About a Boy 16:10 Death Becomes Her 18:00 Meridian News and Weather 18:15 ITV News and Weather 18:35 New You've Been Framed: The Next Generation 19:35 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 22:05 Westlife: For the Last Time 23:05 The Boat That Rocked

THE BOAT THAT ROCKED Period comedy written and directed by Richard Curtis, starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy and Rhys Ifans. At the height of the Swinging Sixties, the pirate DJs of Radio Rock take to the high seas to play rock and pop music in defiance of the British government. For wayward teenager Carl, who is thrust into this hedonistic world when he is sent to live with his godfather, it will be a time of surprises and sexual awakening.

00:10 Chris Moyles' Quiz Night 00:55 Sean Lock: Lockipedia Live 02:00 The Crush 02:55 Random Acts 03:00 Comedy Lab: The Warm-Up Guy 03:25 My Name Is Earl 04:10 Happy Endings 04:35 St Elsewhere 05:25 Brothers & Sisters 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Sali Mali 07:05 The Hoobs 07:55 Channel 4 Presents - Oscar Pistorius 'Head Strong' 08:00 Sailing 08:25 The MedCup 2011 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 The Hollyoaks Music Show: Christmas Special 10:55 T4 Stars of 2011: The Unseen Bits 11:45 Sunday Brunch: Saturday Starter 12:05 Real Stories: Jennifer Lopez 13:10 The Big Bang Theory 14:15 The Simpsons 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 Come Dine with Me 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 100 Greatest Toys with Jonathan Ross 23:00 Catherine Tate: Laughing at the Noughties

00:25 Comedy Kings: Best of Just for Laughs 00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Fifth Gear 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Igam Ogam 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 The Milkshake! Show 08:25 Mio Mao 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:50 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Winnie the Pooh - Climb a Tree 11:05 Animal Rescue Squad 11:25 Justin Bieber: The Making of Under the Mistletoe 11:45 The Gadget Show 12:45 Eloise at the Plaza 14:30 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: The Art of Skiing 14:35 Snow 16:25 Mrs Miracle 18:15 A Christmas Carol 20:15 5 News Weekend 20:20 NCIS 21:10 NCIS 22:10 The Mentalist 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 CSI: NY

38

The Courier Sunday TV

18th December

00:55 The Football League Show 02:10 BAT-21 03:50 Weatherview 03:55 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Talking Books 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Fern Britton Meets Brian Blessed 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Escape to the Country 13:45 Match of the Day Live 16:05 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds 16:35 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 17:20 Lifeline 17:30 Songs of Praise 18:05 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:30 Lost Christmas 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Young James Herriot 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Take That: Progress Live

00:05 Top of the Pops 2: Christmas Special 2010 01:35 The Gorgon 02:55 Our World 03:00 BBC News

03:30 Dateline London 03:40 Close 07:00 Little Charley Bear 07:05 The Adventures of Abney & Teal 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Roar 08:25 Arthur 08:50 Dennis and Gnasher 08:50 The Owl 09:05 I Want My Own Room 09:35 Wingin' It 10:00 Christmas Download 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 The Hairy Bikers' Twelve Days of Christmas 13:30 Flog It! 14:00 EastEnders 16:00 Live Equestrian 18:05 Antiques Road Trip 18:50 Great British Railway Journeys 19:20 Celebrity Eggheads 19:50 Top Gear 21:00 James May's Man Lab Xmas Special 22:00 A Night with the Stars 23:00 Match of the Day 2

00:10 ITV News and Weather 00:24 Meridian Weather 00:25 The Boat That Rocked 01:50 The Zone 04:00 Kojak 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Monk 10:30 Horrid Henry 10:45 Planet Sketch 10:50 The NeverEnding Story 12:30 A Cinderella Story 14:10 ITV News and Weather 14:14 Meridian Weather 14:15 Jack Frost 16:05 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 18:00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special 18:45 Meridian News and Weather 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Odd One In 20:00 Just Henry 22:00 Michael Bublé: Home for Christmas 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:45 Ocean's Twelve

BRUNO Spoof documentary starring Sacha Baron Cohen.

An outrageous gay fashion journalist decides to re-launch his career in Los Angeles after disgracing himself in his native Austria. But are the people across the pond ready for his alternative attitude to life? As his journey unfolds, he mocks celebrities and shoves his partially clothed self (bum first) into the faces of conservative Americans. But this time he also ventures to the Middle East and ends up being chased, Benny Hill-style, by angry clerics

01:05 The Omen 03:10 The Rocker 04:50 St Elsewhere 05:40 Brothers & Sisters 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Survival of the Fittest 09:00 One Tree Hill 09:45 Hollyoaks 12:15 Sunday Brunch 13:05 Cee Lo Takes the UK: Christmas with All the Goodies 13:20 Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - T4 Movie Special 13:40 The Simpsons 14:10 Shipwrecked: The Island 15:10 The Simpsons 15:45 A Christmas Carol: the Musical 17:30 Deal or No Deal 18:30 Channel 4 News 18:40 4thought.tv 18:45 The Political Slot 18:50 Fred Claus 21:00 Home for the Holidays 22:00 Black Mirror: The Entire History of You 23:00 Brüno

00:50 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 Divine Designs 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 The Milkshake! Show 08:35 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Funky Valley 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas 11:05 ThunderCats 12:05 Andre Rieu: Live in Concert 12:50 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 13:50 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas 14:00 Scrooge - A Christmas Carol 15:45 A Grandpa for Christmas 17:25 Miracle in Manhattan 19:10 Our First Christmas 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 Hancock 23:00 Renegade Justice

39

The Courier Monday TV

19th December

00:45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 01:25 Weatherview 01:30 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 02:10 Holby City 03:10 Bible's Buried Secrets 04:10 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Real Rescues 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Only Fools and Horses 15:30 Helicopter Heroes 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out England 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport Christmas Special 22:00 Young James Herriot 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine: The Art of Stand-Up

00:30 01:00 01:30 02:55 03:00

Never Mind the Buzzcocks Life's Too Short Secret Santa Sport Today Newsday

03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:40 Close 07:00 Little Charley Bear 07:05 The Adventures of Abney & Teal 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 08:30 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up 09:00 Junior Bake Off 09:30 Deadly 60 09:55 What's New Scooby-Doo? 10:20 SpaceCamp 12:00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best at Christmas 13:00 Restoration Home 14:00 Weakest Link 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Merrill's Marauders 17:05 Coast 18:05 Watching the Wild: Otters 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Raymond Blanc's Christmas Feast 20:30 Christmas University Challenge 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff 22:30 The Rob Brydon Show Xmas Special 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 The Funny Side of Christmas

02:00 The Zone 03:05 Motorsport UK 04:05 Kojak 05:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Five Days of Christmas 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Midsomer Murders 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise Kitchen at Christmas 21:30 Live Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Christmas Special 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Dave

THE FUNNY SIDE OF CHRISTMAS

Clive Anderson presents a wry look at yuletide traditions in the world of TV. He discovers why generations of Blue Peter presenters have created the exact same festive advent crown as their predecessors, and investigates tips on cooking a turkey from Gordon Ramsay, Delia Smith, Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson.

00:35 Carrie 02:25 American Football Live 06:00 Freesports on 4 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Perfect Couples 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:20 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:50 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 10:55 The Big Bang Theory 11:25 The Big Bang Theory 11:55 The Simpsons 12:20 The Simpsons 12:55 The Muppets Take Manhattan 14:40 Toys 17:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Year the Earth Went Wild 22:00 King of Christmas Lights 23:00 Home for the Holidays

00:45 Indiana Jones: The True Story 01:50 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 UEFA Europa League Football 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Milkshake! Music Box 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Milkshake! Christmas Songs 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Hana's Helpline 10:35 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:50 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Winnie the Pooh - Stout and Round 11:00 ThunderCats 11:35 Meerkat Manor 12:05 Ice Road Truckers 13:05 The Mentalist 14:00 5 News Lunchtime 14:05 Eloise at Christmastime 15:50 This Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Top 20 Aussie Soap Moments 2011 19:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 19:55 How to Play Baseball 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Charley Boorman's Extreme Frontiers 22:00 Step Brothers

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

20th December

00:45 The Graham Norton Show 01:30 Weatherview 01:35 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:35 World's Most Dangerous Roads 03:35 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:35 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Real Rescues 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Only Fools and Horses 15:30 Helicopter Heroes 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Young James Herriot 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine: The Art of Stand-Up

00:30 01:00 01:30 02:00 03:30 03:45 04:00

QI Rev Grumpy Guide to Driving The Big Heat Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday

04:30 Asia Business Report 04:35 Close 07:00 Little Charley Bear 07:05 The Adventures of Abney & Teal 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 08:30 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up 09:00 Junior Bake Off 09:30 Deadly 60 10:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 10:20 Eliot Kid 10:35 Herbie Rides Again 12:00 Rick Stein's Christmas Special 13:00 Restoration Home 14:00 Equestrian 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 The Red Baron 17:05 Coast 18:05 The Rabbits of Skomer 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Nigella's Christmas Kitchen 20:30 Christmas University Challenge 21:00 The Hairy Bikers' Christmas Party 22:00 Mock the Week 22:30 Rev 23:00 Life's Too Short 23:30 The Making of QI

01:35 The Zone 03:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:35 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Five Days of Christmas 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Midsomer Murders 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Adventurer's Guide to Britain 21:00 The Butlin's Story 22:00 The Comedy Annual 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Bourne Supremacy

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Vernon Kay hosts this live entertainment show in which an engaged couple bring their extended families together under one roof in the run-up to Christmas to take part in a competition that offers the chance of winning up to ÂŁ500,000. Each evening the families are faced with various festive dilemmas, temptations and games as they try to win the money.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Syria's Torture Machine 01:05 Rosemary's Baby 03:30 The Conformist 05:25 Drifting 05:35 World War II: The Last Heroes 06:30 Brothers & Sisters 07:15 The Treacle People 07:25 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:45 Perfect Couples 09:10 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:10 Frasier 10:40 The Big Bang Theory 11:10 The Big Bang Theory 11:40 The Simpsons 12:10 The Simpsons 12:40 Swiss Family Robinson 15:10 Cheaper by the Dozen 2 17:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Food Hospital 22:00 Jamie's Christmas with Bells On 23:00 Home for the Holidays

00:00 Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story 01:50 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Grey's Anatomy 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Milkshake! Music Box 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Hana's Helpline 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:50 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Pooh's Balloon 11:00 ThunderCats 11:35 Meerkat Manor 12:05 Ice Road Truckers 13:05 The Gadget Show 14:05 5 News Lunchtime 14:10 Animal Rescue Squad 14:25 The Christmas List 16:10 Crazy for Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Top 20 Aussie Soap Moments 2011 19:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 19:55 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Pluto's Sweater 20:00 World's Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers 20:00 5 News Update 21:00 Monster Moves 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:55 CSI: Miami

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

21st December

00:45 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 01:15 Surviving Christmas 02:40 Weatherview 02:45 Frozen Planet 03:45 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:45 You've Been Scammed 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Real Rescues 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Only Fools and Horses 15:30 Helicopter Heroes 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Christmas 21:30 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 22:00 The Royle Family 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Match of the Day

00:30 01:00 01:30 02:00 03:35 03:45 04:00

QI Shooting Stars Xmas 2010 Grumpy Guide to Food Secret beyond the Door Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday

04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 Close 07:00 Little Charley Bear 07:05 The Adventures of Abney & Teal 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 08:30 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up 09:00 Junior Bake Off 09:30 Deadly 60 10:00 Shaun the Sheep 10:10 Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo 11:50 Lifeline 12:00 The Hairy Bikers' Christmas Party 13:00 Restoration Home 14:00 Weakest Link 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Mackenna's Gold 17:35 Coast 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Nigella's Christmas Kitchen 20:00 Christmas University Challenge 20:30 Top of the Pops 2: Christmas Special 22:00 Rick Stein's Spanish Christmas 23:00 Ruth Jones' Christmas Cracker 23:40 Grumpy Guide to Christmas

01:35 The Zone 04:05 Kojak 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Five Days of Christmas 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Midsomer Murders 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Downton Abbey: Behind the Drama 21:30 A Night of Heroes: The Military Awards 2011 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Michael BublĂŠ: Home for Christmas

MICHAEL BUBLE: HOME FOR CHRISTMAS One-off special in which the Canadian crooner entertains an audience with classic festive tunes from his Christmas album and duets with Kelly Rowland for the first time on one of the nation's best-loved seasonal hits. Kelly's X Factor co-judge Gary Barlow also takes to the stage for a performance, and a host of other famous faces appear on the show, including Dawn French.

00:05 Black Mirror: 15 Million Merits 01:25 Random Acts 01:30 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:30 Sailing 02:55 The MedCup 2011 03:25 Beach Volleyball 04:15 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:45 Survival of the Fittest 05:35 Freeze Festival 2011 06:30 Scrapheap Challenge 07:25 The Hoobs 07:50 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 Perfect Couples 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Simpsons 12:00 The Simpsons 12:30 Freaky Friday 14:25 Oliver Twist 17:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Kirstie's Home for Christmas 22:00 Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder 23:00 Home for the Holidays

00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 SuperCasino 04:55 Meals in Moments 05:05 The Gadget Show 05:55 County Secrets 06:05 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Milkshake! Music Box 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Mio Mao 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Hana's Helpline 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:50 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Winnie the Pooh - Pooh and Gopher 11:00 ThunderCats 11:35 Meerkat Manor 12:05 World's Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers 13:05 Ice Road Truckers 14:05 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Animal Rescue Squad 14:35 Eloise at the Plaza 16:15 A Carol Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Top 20 Aussie Soap Moments 2011 19:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 19:50 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Mickey and the Seal 20:00 World's Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers 20:00 5 News Update 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 Bad Santa

42

The Courier Thursday TV

22nd December

01:05 A Question of Sport Christmas Special 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 See Hear 02:10 Country Tracks 03:10 The Hairy Bikers' Christmas Party 04:10 MasterChef: The Professionals 05:10 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Real Rescues 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Only Fools and Horses 15:30 Keeping Up Appearances 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Sports Personality of the Year 2011 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special

00:40 01:10 01:40 02:10 03:50 04:00

QI Life's Too Short The Grumpy Guide to Work Scarlet Street Sport Today Newsday

04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:10 Close 07:00 Little Charley Bear 07:05 The Adventures of Abney & Teal 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Mike the Knight 08:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 08:30 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up 09:00 Junior Bake Off 09:30 Deadly 60 10:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 10:20 Shaun the Sheep 10:30 Herbie Goes Bananas 12:00 Rick Stein's Spanish Christmas 13:00 Restoration Home 14:00 Weakest Link 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 She Wore a Yellow Ribbon 17:15 Coast 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Nigella's Christmas Kitchen 20:30 Christmas University Challenge 21:00 Lorraine's Last Minute Christmas 22:00 The Young Victoria 23:40 The Choir: Military Wives

01:00 Grimefighters 01:25 The Zone 03:30 Barb Wire 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Five Days of Christmas 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Midsomer Murders 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Lakes at Christmas 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Without You 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Tomorrow Never Dies

LONDONS BURNING

A dramatisation of the August 2011 riots in London, starring David Morrissey and Samantha Bond as two senior police officers faced with one of the biggest tasks of their careers. Drawing on witness testimonies and interviews, the story is based on accounts from Clapham residents, including a hairdresser, a party-shop owner, a family man, and a music-shop keeper, who provide first-hand accounts of what happened and how they dealt with the aftermath.

00:05 Black Mirror: The Entire History of You 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Live from Abbey Road 02:00 Example Backstage 02:30 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 02:45 Comedy Lab: Anna & Katy 03:10 Heat and Dust 05:25 World War II: The Last Heroes 06:20 Brothers & Sisters 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 Perfect Couples 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Simpsons 12:55 Honey, I Shrunk the Kids 14:45 The Princess Diaries 17:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 18:00 Christmas Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Living with the Amish 22:00 London's Burning 23:00 Home for the Holidays

00:00 The Brothers Solomon 01:50 Poker: The Big Game 02:50 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Wildlife SOS 05:35 Wildlife SOS 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Hana's Helpline 10:35 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:50 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Early to Bed 11:00 ThunderCats 11:35 Meerkat Manor 12:05 World's Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers 13:05 Ice Road Truckers 14:10 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Zoo Days 14:20 Snow 16:10 Twice upon a Time 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Top 20 Aussie Soap Moments 2011 19:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 19:55 Disney's 12 Days of Christmas: Food for Feudin' 20:00 World's Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers 20:00 5 News Update 21:00 Fairground Attractions 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 It's All About Amy

43

Friday, December 16, 2011

AWNINGS

ACCOMODATION Small, economic family run hotel, situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35 € per room, per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations. (45)

ACCOUNTANTS Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge. (45)

ALARMS Protect your home or business with ultimate technology Alarm Systems - get connected to the professionals. Immediate connection to the police via our 24/7 control centre, with video surveillance included. Don’t wait until it´s too late. For a free quote call 966 923 963 (45)

Brand New Clothing for sale, 10.000 pieces in mixed childrens, ladies and mens wear. Ideal for market traders. Bargain price 1 € per item. Call now on 651885200. (45)

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am.

Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276. Special Christmas events: United carol service, Torrevieja, 7pm, December 24, Torrevieja Christian Fellowship, Avenida de las Cortes Valencianes 68. ICA carol service and Christtingle ceremony, December 18.

IAC Sunday School children's programme, "Angel Training School and Christmas Service, Christmas Day, 11am.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar C h r i s t i a n CommunityChurch@gmail .com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606.

Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

Ford KA Nov 2006 1.3 Collection, 53,000 kms, FSH, Light Metallic Blue, 4750 euros, Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars.com Ford Fiesta 1.4 5dr, 2003, 71,000 kms 4450 euros, met blue Tel 600 726 221 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars.com Ford Focus 2006, 1.6, 50,000 kms, FSH, Metallic

EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLD DRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900. 25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH GUARANTEED SITES. 619 307 318. (52)

Burgundy, 7750 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars.com Ford Focus 1.6 auto tiptronic, 65,000 kms, May 2008 New Model, Light Metallic Blue, Stunning condition, 10,450, Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 967 www.fwreurocars.com Peugeot 307 cc Cabrio June 2008, 2 litre, Auto tiptronic, 1 owner, 48,000 kms, FSH, navigation, alloys, etc, metallic blue, beautiful condition 14,250 euros Tel 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Peugeot 206cc Cabrio, July 02 1.6, 77,000 kms, alloys, air con etc, beautiful condition, mid metallic blue, 5950 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Nissan Micro Cabriolet 1.4 2006 84,000 kms, FSH, Alloys, Air Con etc, Metallic Burgundy 6950 euros Tel 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

FOR SALE Two orange gas cylinders.

One full, one half full. 25€ each or 45€ for pair. Tel: 672192482. Santiago de la Ribera.

Ketter large sturdy plastic shed with windows, floor and shelf. 6’x6’ excellent condition 175€ 966 842 326 (41) Two single beds, both with foldaway beds underneath. 50 euros each or 90 euros for all four beds.

Tel: 672192482. Santiago de la Ribera. Buyer must collect.

Architect

AIR CONDITIONING

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

ALARMS

CAR SALES

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR RENT Ref. 91, This lovely one bedroom apartment is on the fifth (top) floor of block one of the Miramar development - but don't worry about climbing the stairs, as there is a lift! A parking space is included in the key operated underground garage. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars.

Short term only. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term or Short term available. €795PCM Call:

965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. €300PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. €425PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis.

The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. €250PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 702, A lovely 2 bedroom apartment in a quiet area of Torrevieja yet within walking distance to local beaches and amenities.

It’s also less than an hour’s drive from both Alicante and Murcia San Javier Airports. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

FUNERAL SERVICES

APPLIANCE REPAIRS

EYELASHS

AUCTION

CAR MECHANIC

44

Friday, December 16, 2011

Ref. 135, An outstanding two bedroom villa with one double and one twin room on the VillaMartin golf complex. There is a very pleasant terrace off the main bedroom and from the sun terrace on the roof the views are excellent. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 04, A 2 bedroom apartment one street back from the famous Cabo Roig strip. There is a selection of local shops, restaurants and bars on the doorstep with the shopping strip only 400 metres away. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 92, A lovely three bedroom apartment on the ground floor of block one of the Miramar developments. A small balcony runs the width of the lounge area above the small private garden area at the front of the property. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 104, Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance to the Friday Market, Town Centre and the beach. Close to the Habaneres Shopping

Centre and Aquapark. €350PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 151, Beautiful Family 3 Bedroom Villa. Well equipped American kitchen, double bedroom and bathroom. A further 2 bedrooms, bathroom, large terrace with sun loungers, table and chairs, bbq, and beautiful sea view. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A.Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Luxury appartments, 2/3 bedrooms in San Miguel De Salinas. Floor heating, Elevator, Roof terrace with swimmingpool, from 385 euros/month Also holiday rentals and appartments in San Miguel de Salinas from 350 euros/month.

966 723 437 and 616 487 493 (48)

PROPERTY FOR SALE Detached villa with large oasis pool. Situated on first Urb. In Gran Alacant.

500m2 plot, electric gates, alarmed 3 beds, 3 baths, fully furnished. Recently reduced for a quick sale Now only 260.000 euros

CREATIVE CONCRETE

HEATING

DAMP PROOFING

Call 680 333 242 quoting ref 33 Altomar II in Gran Alacant Investment opportunity…

82.000 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, lounge diner, ind.

Kitchen, Glazed in Galleria, S/Facing, extra storage Fully furnished, Private parking, Com pools Ring 627 711 155 to view.

Duplex in Monte y Mar, GA 2 Bed, 1 Bath, ground floor with views Fully furnished, A/Con, Heating, Ceiling Fans, English TV, garden, Communal pool, for apt please call 966 699 136 to view only 115.000 ono REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated parking, walking distance to

FURNITURE

ENERGY SAVER

FAST BROADBAND

ELECTRICIAN

LOCKSMITH

NEWS AGENTS

FISHING

Shops bars restaurants etc. 627 711 155 Calling all serious Buyers.

I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant.

Everything included in price, fantastic Alicante/sea views. As a starting price I am looking in the region of 265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242 Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished.

Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing.

Lovely well maintained terraced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to shops, bars restaurants.

Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve.

Private parking, call 680 333 242 for more details.

133.000 euros

HOUSE CLEARANCES

PLUMBERS

Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbanisation Please ring 966 699 136 after 6pm (english & spanish spoken) Now only 125.000 euros excellent value in Gran Alacant.

Quick sale needed.

199.000 euros ono Detached property in Puerto Marina. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, Immaculately furnished Alarmed, Central heating, Log fire, Hot & Cold air con, open fields to the rear, Private parking, Communal pools.

966.699.478 after 5 pm.

MASSAGE

PETS

SECURITY

SEWING

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Friday, December 16, 2011 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant 209,000 euros 3 Double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes 2 bathrooms, spacious kitchen with galleria Lounge complete with chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private Parking. A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2 built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire,

Under build, Alarmed, Mature Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates. 260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken.

Walking distance to all local amenities in GA Detached Villa with large pool. Decoratively tiled Garden, complete with BBQ. Est. palm & fruit trees. 3 bed, 3 bath, Fully Furnished including all electrical appliances.

Quick sale needed, 270.000 euros, but very negotiable. For appointment to view call 966 699 478 after 5pm Top floor duplex in Puerto Marina, G/Alacant 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, glazed-in porch, large roof-top solarium with views, Top quality furniture and appliances included. Secure private parking, communal pools,

108,000 euros. If you would like to view call 627 711 155 for an immediate appointment.

LIMITED EDITION One of only a few bungalows in Gran Alacant. Top of the range furniture and appliances included. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large kitchen, leading to galleria, huge roof top solarium with fantastic views of Alicante and mountains. Electronic gates leading to garage, 500m2 plot, 10x5 pool with irrigated gardens By appointment only, ring 680333242 325.000 ono Large family Home in Izla de Izaro, G.A (bajo) 4 bed, 3 bath, stunning communal pool with Jacuzzi & water features. Children’s play area and fantastic communal gardens. Very high standard throughout, Large converted under build & garage, elec.

SIGN WRITING

PLASTERER

PERSONAL

REPAIRS

Gates Alarmed, A/con, outside kitchen and bathroom, 399.000 ono. To view call 966699136 after 5pm.

Monte Y Mar - Gran Alacant Detached Villa with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge-diner, front porch, Large solarium with views. 400m2 plot Low maintenance irrigated gardens, Private pool & Parking. Tastefully furnished throughout and everything included.

Recently Reduced to 239.000 euros. For more details call 627.711.155 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula

REMOVALS

areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace.

This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

WANTED

TRANSLATOR

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, accident claims, legalise land.

Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor. (45)

WANTED A private buyer looking to buy a cheap car directly from the owner (middleman please do not call)Tel 638 811 881(43)

WIG SPECIALIST

REMOVALS

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service.

Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (51)

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Friday, December 16, 2011

The ABC of football TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME WITH OUR QUIZ WITH A DIFFERENCE WHICH distant UEFA league includes amongst its managers exArsenal stalwart Tony Adams?

WHICH B, a star of the 1978 and 1982 World Cups, has often been hailed as Poland’s greatest-ever player?

WHICH H Football League team are names chose by top clubs in unkindly nicknamed The Monkey- Vienna and Bucharest?

Hangers?

WHICH R is the Arctic airport for WHAT does the I in FIFA stand for? Lapland to which children fly at this time of year to see Santa’s Grotto, and also the home town of Finnish club RoPS?

WHICH CC English club went out of business last year, though reappeared with a slight change of name?

2003?

WHICH club ending with X is the only A-League member not actually in Australia?

...AND which W is the rather warmer nation which made its World Cup finals debut in 2002?

WHICH Russian premier league club is owned by notorious gangster Ramzan Kadyrov?

WHICH Dutch D top-flight club’s full name begins with the words Alles Door Oefening (Everything Through Practice)?

IN an odd fixture quirk, which U nation knocked the British Virgin Islands out of the 20104 World Cup this summer?

...AND which E Dutch city hosts their long-time rivals who have won the title 21 times?

WHICH F is the name by which Fiorentina fans and Florentine citizens know their own city?

WHAT Y is the English-sounding name shared by six members of the current South Korean squad, including captain Park Chu- -----?

TWO in one...which JK is the new manager of the US national team?

WHICH L is the unsuccessful African football nation which nevertheless produced the great George Weah?

...AND which ZZ was the Chinese national captain who had a brief spell in Scotland with Celtic?

WHICH MM is the Inter midfielder who made history as the first Kenyan player to appear in the Champions League?

WHICH O defender who plays for Milan was in Italy’s 2006 World Cupwinning squad?

WHICH P Italian club first signed Al- WHICH Champions League club’s Saadi, son of Colonel Gaddafi and home ground is El Madrigal? former head of Libya’s Special Forces?

FROM The Book Of You Couldn’t Make It Up, which WW was the WHAT Q is another version of the manager of Wolfsburg from 1998-

VILLA CHILLER Spain star’s Sadd break

ANSWERS Azerbaijan; Zbigniew Boniek; Chester City; Den Haag; Eindhoven; Firenze; Germany; Hartlepool; Internationale; Jurgen Klinsmann; Liberia; McDonald Mariga; Massimo Oddo; Perugia; Quick (Rapid); Rovaniemi; Senegal; Terek Grozny; US Virgin Islands; Villareal; Wolfgang Wolf; Wellington Phoenix; Young; Zheng Ziyi.

WHICH G national team is oddly an anagram of Meg Ryan?

BARCELONA and Spain striker David Villa is set for a lengthy spell on the sidelines after fracturing his left leg in Japan on Thursday.

The 30-year-old suffered the injury shortly before halftime in the FIFA Club World Cup semi-final against Al Sadd. "Bad news for David

Villa and Barca; the striker's left tibia is fractured," Barcelona said on their Twitter feed.

"The player has been taken to the Yokohama Rosa hospital for further tests."

Villa, a £34m signing from Valencia in 2010, was carried off on a stretcher after appearing to land awkwardly 39 minutes into a game Barcelona were winning 1-0.

Although they completed a 4-0 victory over the Qatari club to book their place in the final, Barcelona can expect to be without Villa for some time. His injury may also put in doubt his participation at Euro 2012, when Spain will defend their title.

Villa is Spain's all-time leading scorer with 50 goals in 81 games and played a key role in their World Cup triumph in South Africa last summer.

Adriano scored twice and Seydou Keita and Maxwell also found the net to secure Barcelona's comfortable passage into Sunday's final against Santos.

Friday, December 16, 2011

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A MERE KHAN BLIP

By STEVE BOTT

AMIR Khan was beaten fairly and squarely when he lost his WBA and IBF light welterweight titles to Lamont Peterson in Washington on Saturday night.

The lad from Bolton should have wrapped it up in the first couple of rounds when he took the fight to Peterson - as he usually does. But he didn't finish it off and Peterson was allowed to get back into the contest and eventually win on a split points decision.

Blaming the referee and adjudicators makes Khan and his entourage sound like so many whingeing, cringing pitifully-poor football managers and players. Can't take defeat - and don't bleat on about winning mentalities and never accepting defeat.

If you are beaten fair and square you accept it in the right manner and then show your mettle by coming back silently and swiftly and putting matters right at the earliest opportunity.

I have known Amir Khan since he was a 12-year-old in Mike Jelley's back street gym in Bury. He was a champion then and will be again - very soon. The lad is just too fit and cocky for his own good sometimes!

When I was watching him as a Bury Times sports journalist, Khan was on his way to the first of three ABA schoolboy championship titles when

he proved himself the best of his age in the whole of Britain.

He was and is super fit and that has been the basis for his success. A few years after first spotting Amir, I took my lad Adam and some of his pals to a training session at Mike's new gym at a school in Seedfield, Bury. Adam and his friends fancied it in a bid to get fit.

By the time they hung their coats up and sloped onto the equipment for their first attempts at limbering up, Amir had done 50 sit ups and was steaming on into the next part of Mike's rigorous circuit training regime.

There wasn't much of him and still isn't now, really - but Amir was lithe, trim, keen, quiet, calm and SUPER FIT. In those days he didn't say much.

Age, experience and success have made him more voluble and now he does talk too much. But, coming from one who could talk the proverbial glass eye to sleep, that is not a massive disadvantage.

Look at Muhammad Ali! Khan is nowhere near as good as Ricky Hatton or Barry McGuigan Britain's best two pound for fighters in my time. But he is good so I urge all fight fans to get behind him and back him rather than grumble behind any silly prejudices or barely hidden jealousies. Come on, let's really help to make Khan a King!

But stop whingeing when you lose fair and square

Sutil’s formula for a work of Kart...

THREE of the top young GoKart drivers in Torrevieja and the Orihuela Costa were lucky enough to meet Formula One driver Adrian Sutil last week.

The occasion was the launch of a new beer from Kingfisher Beer, one of the major sponsors of the Sahara Force India Mercedes Formula One Car, which took place at Marina Salinas.

The lucky racing trio spent a few minutes chatting with Sutil, who came ninth in this year’s World Championship.

Sutil, 28, started karting at 14 before moving up to Swiss Formula Ford 1800 in 2002. He promptly won the championship in his first season, sweeping all before him by winning all 12 races of the championship before moving up yet another step of the ladder on his way to

Formula One, and into Formula BMW ADAC. Sutil came sixth in his first season racing the BMW while current World Formula One Champion Sebastian

Vettel was runner-up. Tough opposition for a 20 year-old!

The message to the trio was very clear; that karting is an excellent first step towards a future as a professional racing driver, be that in Formula One, Touring Cars, Endurance Racing, test driving or other forms of motor sport.

The boys also had time for a private photo session with the Formula One Force India car and after their short chat with Sutil, who speaks fluent Spanish, to obtain a valuable autograph.

An outstanding day for this trio and the thousands of fans who visited the Marina Salinas to see one of Formula One’s rising stars.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

LAMP LIGHT Frank Lampard celebrates the spot-kick that floored City and opened up the title race

It's Sunday opening for United and Co after City pay penalty THE Premier League is wide open again following Chelsea's 2-1 win over Manchester City.

By Sunday at around 2pm Manchester United could well be top again after their game at QPR. City face a tough task at home to Arsenal at 4pm while Chelsea and Tottenham can keep right in touch at the top if they win against Wigan and Sunderland.

Chelsea clinched the points reports against City courtesy of a Frank Lampard penalty. The ball clearly struck Joleon Lescott's arm but was it ball to arm or arm to ball?

A draw would have been a fair result. City played very well in the first half and Mario Balotelli was outstanding. Chelsea ruled after the break and the final

STEVE BOTT

result did all the other teams a big favour.

The talk at United as I write this all revolved around Darren Fletcher's ongoing viral illness and whether Sir Alex Ferguson would delve into the transfer market in January to bolster his squad. Who would he buy,though? Carlos Tevez, perhaps?

Down a couple of divisions and the managerial merry-go-round saw Dave Jones tipped to take over at League One Preston North End after the sacking of Phil Brown. I immedately thought of Steve Bruce. But I doubt if he would be prepared to drop down so low to get back into management quickly.

Martin O'Neill seems to have got Bruce's former charges to play for him immediately with a win over Blackburn Rovers and he and Sunderland could upset the apple cart again if they can beat Tottenham.

Definitely possible!

Liverpool are at Aston Villa and Newcastle entertain

Swansea. Both Liverpool and Newcastle need to win to keep tabs on the teams at the top of the table. I think Newcastle will win with home advantage there against the Swans. Liverpool might find it slightly tougher at Villa Park.

Back to Tevez and Tottenham have been linked with a move for the Argentinian. Manchester City have said they don't want to sell him to a Premier League rival, however, and AC Milan remain favourites to buy Tevez.

City are insisting on a permanent move, too, for at least ÂŁ20 million not preceded by a loan.

Blackburn take on West Brom amid talk of a financial crisis at Ewood Park. Methinks their Indian owners, the Venkys, had better sell a few more chickens. Whatever, it's certainly going to take a lot of pluck to keep Rovers in the Premier League!