The Courier Week 47

Edition 47

www.thecourier.es

Is your dog driving you barking mad?

MEET Peter Singh. He’s a professional dog psychologist and he joins The Courier today with an exclusive weekly column aimed at helping pet owners solve the problems that drive so many of us barking mad.

If the behaviour of YOUR dog or cat has you chasing your tail, the solution is now in your own paws.

Just ping Peter an email explaining the situation and he’ll do his best to sort the problem out.

Turn to Page 12 to sample his first fascinating article on animal behaviour - and the special language that bonds a dog and its owner.

Friday, January 13, 2012 Peter Singh with Pickle, one of four dogs he owns

Top that! Fund for Aitana op hits €125,000

THE remarkable public campaign to save the life of 10-year-old Aitana Garcia Doiz has now raised almost $125,000.

And nearly €50,000 of that money has come from the collection of hundreds of thousands of plastic tops from bottles and containers.

The whole of Spain has united in trying to fund the double heart and lung transplant Aitana desperately needs. With the British expat community now heavily involved as well, the €200,000 target is well in sight.

The collection of colourful plastic tops, which are recycled by the Acteco plastics firm at Ibi, has almost reached cult status in some areas.

Acteco has paid out a whopping €45,684 so far which means that 150 tonnes of tops have already been collected and cashed in around the country.

Initially, a massive 700 tons of plastic tops were THE mother of two Cordoba children who went needed to send Aitana on her missing in the care of their father three months way to the United States for ago has broken her silence for the first time. her life-saving surgery – and And she made no secret of the fact she blames her exhopefully a happy and partner for the disappearance of Ruth Bretón, 6, and her healthy future. two-year-old brother Jose.

But that is no longer nec"Everyone who knows José Bretón knows that he did not essary because most of the lose the children, and those that don't know him can be sure funds raised so far – that I know what I’m talking about," Ruth Ortiz told reporters. €76,950 - have come from "He has to tell the truth. He is responsible for the disapdonations, events and lottery pearance of my children and he must speak. His family also funding . know that he is to blame, but Aitana, from Aragon, was for them it is easier to cling to born with congenital heart the hope that they were lost defect (CHD), which is causrather than accept the stark ing obstructions to the blood reality." flow in her heart and the vesMore than 90 days after sels around it. She also sufthe disappearance of the two fers from a defect in the wall children, the authorities are dividing the left and right venno closer to finding out what tricles of the heart, and a cleft happened to them. Bretón palate. and the children's mother Now Dr. Pedro del Nilo Ruth Ortiz: “Jose Breton’s family also know that he is to blame, but for them it’s

THE TRUTH Missing kids’ dad must come clean, says mother

Turn to Page 3 easier to cling to the hope that they were lost rather than accept the stark reality’’

Turn to Page 2

2

Friday, January 13, 2012

I wanted a back stroke, not the cold shoulder TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 1003 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Therese Guardamar, La Marina, Santa pola, Gran Alacant Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Affiliations

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the week

96 692 1003

I FEEL TOPS!

Horror of Heathrow hanging AN operations manager was found hanged at Heathrow Airport’s Terminal 5 last week - in full view of passengers and staff.

Keith Stone, 50, feared that he could be made redundant after 23 years. He was managing a cleaning business sub-contracted by major airlines.

His body was found hanging from a de-icing vehicle in full view of passengers and staff at the UK’s busiest airport terminal.

According to a colleague, father-of-three Keith had been battling anxiety after hearing he would have to re-apply for his role with the Aircraft Service International Group (ASIG) following planned cuts.

He took his own life after emailing bosses outlining his disgust at his treatment after 23 years' loyal service.

A colleague said: “Keith was told about the threat to his job just two weeks before Christmas.

“He wrestled with anxiety throughout the festive season. The prospect of financial woes proved too much.

“He went to work last Wednesday and emailed his bosses exactly what he thought of them. He then went outside and hanged himself.”

A spokesperson from ASIG said: “Keith’s commitment, professionalism and good humour will be sorely missed.”

Aitana shows her appreciation in a Xmas message

From Page 1 from Boston Children´s Hospital - one of the world’s most prestigious children´s cardiologists - has opened a window of hope for Aitana and her family, whose trip to the US will be funded by the Halcon Viajes travel company.

The Courier and Professional Business Support are offering our mutual offices at c/Luis Canovas Martinez 1, Aguas Nuevas in Torrevieja, as a drop-off point for bottle tops.

We will arrange distribution. Call 966 923 963 or 617 935 721 for further information and directions.

Friday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 15°C RealFeel: 17°C Monday Cloudy High Temperature: 16°C RealFeel: 13°C

Tuesday Cloudy High Temperature: 16°C RealFeel: 12°C

Saturday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 18°C RealFeel: 18°C Wednesday Partly sunny High Temperature: 16°C RealFeel: 13°C

Sunday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 17°C RealFeel: 16°C Thursday Sunny High Temperature: 13°C RealFeel: 14°C

3

Friday, January 13, 2012

Beware danger fags, Benidorm Brits warned TOBACCONISTS in Benidorm have warned of a massive new wave in sales of contraband cigarettes, particularly through British bars and restaurants in the town.

According to Diario Información, te Guardia Civil have discovered during the course of their investigation that customers select legitimate goods from a price list displayed on the premises, and arrange to pick up their cigarettes elsewhere the following day.

The aim this way is to avoid the contraband merchandise being discovered if the business is searched.

It’s understood that the cigarettes, which are sold on the local black market generally come from Gibraltar, Andorra and China.

The Chinese variety are of particular concern to the Benidorm tobacconists, who say they can be seriously harmful to health as there are no quality controls and they are made with unknown ingredients.

“It’s been discovered that they contain a mixture of plants and manure, and have 75% more tar, 63% more carbon monoxide and 28% more nicotine,’’ said a spokesman.

The tobacconists have also asked Benidorm’s hotel sector to inform their clients, especially the British, of the risks of buying black market tobacco.

Last month, the Guardia Civil intercepted more than 350,000 packets of counterfeit cigarettes from China at the port in Cartagena, and another 560,000 packets of fake Marlboro cigarettes which had been brought into Spain via Valencia.

A British man who was wanted byin the UK for cigarette smuggling worth €8.2 million was arrested in Valencia in November.

IS LAWRENCE SUSPECT IN SPAIN?

Acourt brother out to escape arrest

A KEY suspect in the murder of Stephen Lawrence may have fled to Spain following the conviction of fellow gang members last week.

Jamie Acourt, 35, a prime suspect in the racially-motivated killing of the black teenager in 1993, is known to regularly visit Spain.

Last week there was no sign of him at his home in Kent and according to a UK source, Acourt ‘spends months on end in Spain, although nobody really knows where or what he does’.

The thug, who has various previous convictions, has apparently considered moving to Spain with his girlfriend Terri Dean, who owns a children’s clothing company.

“He has been looking at a few options, as his girlfriend has clothing connections there,” the source told the Olive Press.

“This increased after the recent case and him being snooped on again by the police.”

Despite Gary Dobson and David Norris being found guilty of murder, the judge in the case has ordered police to continue their pursuit of up to four other gang members, including Acourt’s brother Neil and Luke Knight.

The Metropolitan Police’s Acting Deputy Commissioner Cressida Dick said: “We don’t see this as the end of Jose Breton: Accused the road.”

Jamie Acourt 'spends months on end in Spain'

MISSING CHILDREN From Page One

had separated not long before he reported them missing.

The couple had lived together in Huelva, but Bretón was from Córdoba, which is where he was when the children went missing. He claims that he lost track of them at around 6pm on a Saturday afternoon, while walking in the Cruz Condepark.

Police have repeatedly searched a property owned by Bretón's parents in an industrial park, as well as their home, but have found no trace of the youngsters.

JAMIE ACOURT...A DAILY TELEGRAPH PROFILE

UNLIKE the other original Stephen Lawrence suspects, Jamie Acourt has managed to rise above his past and has forged an enviable life for himself.

The father of one lives with his girlfriend Terri Dean in a £250,000 tasteful Victorian semi-detached house in Sidcup, around three miles from where the killing took place.

While he does not work, his girlfriend is the director of a successful children’s clothing company, affording them all the trappings of a well-heeled middle-class lifestyle.

He drives a smart black Mercedes car and wears the latest designer label clothing.

While other members of the gang look older than their years, Acourt has kept in shape, working out at an upmarket gymnasium in Blackheath. He is also a regular at a nearby golf course and driving range.

In the summer the family regularly jet off abroad for lengthy sunshine breaks, sometimes spending weeks at a time in Spain, where his girlfriend’s company source much of the stock for their two shops.

At the age of 14 he was permanently excluded from school following a disturbing racist incident. After confronting a black pupil, Sean Kalitisi, he kicked him down a flight of stairs leaving him unconscious and badly hurt.

According to locals, Jamie had a fascination with knives and in May 1992 was accused of stabbing a youth called Darren Witham. The case was later dropped by the Crown Prosecution Case due to a lack of evidence.

In 1994, Acourt stabbed teenager Darren Giles through the heart during a fight in a nightclub, causing a cardiac arrest.

Mr Giles survived the attack and Acourt was acquitted of attempted murder on the grounds of self defence.

4

I HOPE the ongoing revelation about the thousands of women who have had sub-standard breast implants is a wake-up call people will not forget.

I have long been of the opinion that money, greed, health and vanity is a poisonous mix - and the breast implant shock is a classic example.

It all starts to go wrong when rich people can buy treatments they need or think they need. It's worse when private doctors try to persuade people to have treatments they don't need and the corrupt circle is complete when manufacturers produce sub-standard supplies to make a buck.

If I had my way, there would be no private medicine - everyone would have to go to the NHS no matter how well off they were.

Can you imagine how quickly the NHS would improve if the rich had to queue with the rest for treatment?

No MPs or the so-called great and good able to queue jump. And all those doctors currently tied up in private medicine and cosmetic surgery would be released to do arguably much more worthwhile work.

A multi-billion industry has been created, all based on vanity - and the abuse that goes along with it eventually can bring great misery.

Why is it that people are not content with what nature intended? Why do women with small breasts want large ones and vice versa? Why do blondes want to be brunettes or redheads, those with straight hair want curly, those born black want to be white, or whites want a dark tan? It's all so crazy, all these people only too eager to encourage people to part with megabucks.

Thousands of women now face the prospect of operations to remove implants

Friday, January 13, 2012

The breast of both worlds

filled with industrial silicon.

How many more people have had substances injected into the faces and are time bombs waiting to detonate?

There really is no way of stopping the aging process, and attempts to do so can go horribly wrong. The best way to slow that ticking clock is to eat healthily and not overeat, take regular exercise, have proper sleep, drink alcohol and sunbathe with caution - and avoid tobacco and drugs.

But there seems little prospect of that when so many people are hell-bent on pressing the self-destruct button.

One news story which appalled me this week con-

cerned a mother - a self-confessed surgery addict - who, for her seven-year-old child's Christmas present, bought her a £7,000 liposuction voucher. Last year she allowed her 15-year-old daughter to have breast implants. I hope they weren't sub-standard.

There are times when I strongly believe that some people should be prevented from breeding - and here's a starter on the list. What possible good example is she setting?

STILL on the subject of the medical world, I was appalled by the news from a Stockport hospital where a patient killer has been on the loose. If sick people haven't got enough to worry about,

the prospect of being bumped off by a deranged member of staff beggars belief.

Now put yourself into the shoes of the young nurse who was arrested and held for six weeks on suspicion of killing patients but was finally released because of lack of evidence against her.

She was subsequently sacked for stealing opiatebased drugs.

Now another nurse has been arrested. What both have in common is that they have had their identities revealed by police and their pictures have appeared in the press.

All this before they have appeared in court, never mind being found guilty of

any office. In my book it is totally wrong that anyone questioned for a crime should have his or her identity revealed. Press and television should not be allowed by law to identify an arrested person.

People can have their lives ruined by such publicity, which serves no useful purpose to society.

There is an argument as to whether anyone should be named until conviction - after all British justice dictates that a person is innocent until proven guilty and that process should include trial by newspapers and TV. AND now for yet another example of how Britain has become utterly mad, with crazy politicians and bureaucrats hell-bent on ruining Britain and driving our taxes sky high.

I refer to the incredible case of an immigrant family allowed to live in a mansion costing an incredible £106,600-a-year rent, funded by taxpayers.

A Freedom of Information request has revealed that this case is not a one off there are hundreds more who have been given accommodation in the poshest parts of central London, allowing these people to live alongside the super-rich.

They were able to get away with it until the present government imposed a £500-a-week ceiling on housing benefit.

In my book this ceiling is

still far too generous and gives economic migrants the idea that Britain remains a soft touch and the UK's streets are paved with gold.

Past governments have a lot to answer for and this is a prime example. I just cannot understand the mindset of any bureaucrat allowing people to get away with it.

The government has also embarked on a project requiring people claiming unemployment benefit to undertake voluntary work.

But it has emerged that half of the claimants are so workshy they prefer to lose the money than do unpaid work.

Amazingly, 20% of people ordered to do voluntary work stopped claiming state handouts. And a further 30% were stripped of their benefits when they failed to turn up for work. The theory is that many of those who failed to turn up were already earning more on the black market.

Either way, it's a brilliant way of cutting the vast amount of state handouts and demonstrates just how much the system has been abused in the past - mainly thanks to spend, spend, spend Labour.

FINALLY, how about this for pure incompetence? You would think that the police, of all people, would be able to prevent crime on their doorstep.

But oh dear, no. Over the past five years tens of thousands of pounds of equipment has been stolen from police stations across the UK - from handcuffs to uniforms, speed guns to police dogs, riot shields and even patrol cars, Warrant cards, bikes, a battering ram and breathalysers have all been nicked.

The Taxpayers Alliance is appalled by the thefts and has called for the police to smarten up and stamp out thefts, which puts more costs on the taxpayer.

Google, Google...gone! Brazil in the fall

THIS woman's trip will be unforgettable — thanks to Google Street View.

The unlucky pedestrian took a tumble as she strolled down a street in Brazil last July. Little did she know that a Google Street View vehicle was mapping the area at the time and had captured the untimely incident on camera.

Now snaps of the fall have gone viral. The first pic shows

the brunette, in an orange top, walking along a pavement in the town of Belo Horizonte.

But in the next still, she is lying flat on the ground. Her glasses appear to have flown off in the spillage and can be made out on the floor near her hand. Google Street View uses car-mounted cameras to take images that give users panoramic views of their surroundings.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Uniquely average FORGET THE DASH DIETS - I’M HAPPY JUST THE WAY I AM

OK, so I will never have legs up to my armpits, in fact my legs struggle to meet my hips. I´m not the tallest of people, but I’m happy with what I have, which I consider to be average.

ing to a group of ´experts´, It´s the DASH diet, which advocates fresh produce whole grains, lean protein and is low in fat and salt.

Really!). We are also told which celebrities are looking extra good and which need to get on that DASH diet. New make-up and beauty treatments are being thrown at us from the I am of average height, just under 5´4”, pages of every glossy, now it´s time to make and of average weight, says my BMI calcu- sure we moisturise against the cold weather, lator. I have average length hair, an average or maybe sun screen here in Spain, not too looking face, in fact everything about me is, sure until I look out of the window every I think average. However, I am more than morning. happy with that.

But just one look at any magazine or I know there are a lot of things that could newspaper will show us what we should be worse about me - OK, quite a few could apparently be looking like. Apparently no be better. But as we head into another year, celebrity is average - they are either too fat, the papers and magazines seem to be full of too thin, perfectly stick-like or a mass of perstories about which diet is the best (accordfect abs and biceps, they have jutting chins or high cheekbones.

But I challenge you to look at these celebrities and decide for yourself if they really are perfect. If they any less average than you or I, just because the job they do means we are looking at them on a regular basis.

Be assured that if you were one of these famous people strutting your stuff on a beach, or heading home from the gym in your designer gear, you would be the perfect one and the rest of us mere mortals would be the ones looking at you, making our minds up and judging you.

But you would still be the same person inside, however you see yourself now you are not really very different to the people we see in our papers every day. You just have a A REMARKABLE 4,212 organ transplants were carried different job and maybe out in Spain last year - 500 more than in 2010 - and lifestyle.

1,667 donors were registered.

I keep an eye on my Record numbers of kidney, liver and pancreas trans- weight for health reasons, plants took place, and the number of new donors was watch what I eat and drink also a record - 167 more than the previous year. and try and be healthy.

This is just some of the data presented by Rafael But I do it for me and in Matesanz, director of the National Transplant order to hopefully extend my Organisation, at a press conference, together with life and live it to the full, not Spain’s Health Minister, Ana Mato. because some actress is Ms Mato underlined the "magnificent" figures and looking super hot on the the enormous effort being made by the Spanish people beach. I know that body will who "have once again shown their charitable side". never be mine.

I saw an article in a British Cantabria leads the donor league table with 67.8 organ donations per million inhabitants, followed by La paper where the best facial Rioja (62.5), Asturias (46.3), the Basque Country (44.5) parts of famous females were put onto one face to and Castilla y León (41.4).

Mato said that families' neagtive feelings towards make, and I quote, ´The ultimate woman´. organ donation had reduced considerably.

This one face was made up from parts of seven famous women, so it would seem that not even celebrities are good enough to be called perfect.

I am happy the way I am in my own, uniquely average way. I really hope you are too, and I wish you all the best for this coming year.

May we all be blissfully average.

Health chief hails transplant record

5

6

Friday, January 13, 2012

‘It’s raining, it’s pouring’, according to the nursery rhyme. In the UK, maybe so. But last Sunday in the Alicante sunshine, members of Spain’s Jaguar Enthusiasts Club and their cars were positively...

REIGNING AND PURRING

THE sun was shining, the air was warm and the cars glistened in the fabulous winter sun.

I do feel sorry for those poor Jaguar owners in Blighty, up to their ***** in snow, rain and fog, the poor Jaguar cocooned away from the damp and cold never to see the light of day until the start of Britain’s next short summer, which if they are lucky lasts about three weeks.

The fourth meeting of the Jaguar Enthusiasts’ Club in Spain took place on Sunday, January 8 at Restaurant Los Almendros in Torrellano, By ERIC near Alicante Airport. I wish ARNOLD to thank all those who attended, especially all the new We had a very worthy winmembers. ner, a new attendee, Mr Stig The biggest turnout yet, 27 Moltu-Jacobsen, who was beautiful Jaguars and 52 presented with a unique botpeople, it just keeps growing tle of Jaguar wine. every meeting. It is nice to We were also very pleased know I must be doing some- to announce that one of our thing right. members, Mr Alfonso Some of the old favourites Cuervo-Arango, has just were there as usual, a fabu- been presented with an lous red Jaguar XK120 drop- award by the Spanish head and some good exam- Ministry of Science for his ples of XKs and XKRs. invention of a unique waterA new arrival, a stunning saving device. red 4.2 E type coupe and one Lunch at Los Almendros of the new Jaguar XF was exceptional; the famous saloons. Jaguar Sovereign Los Almendros bread with Long Wheel Base saloon, a tomato and alioli, a fabulous newly acquired XJ X300, a duck paté with mini toast and Jag time at Los fabulous XKR Coupe and of a fruit conserve, plates of Alemandros car course The Guvnor’s XK8 cheese and ham, a hot chickpark on Sunday Convertible. en dish with an intense More examples of E types, sauce, then a fantastic confit XJSs, XK8s, XJs, X Types, a of duck with potatoes and photographs and a last chat.

Mark 2 and S Types complet- vegetables, swordfish or People started to depart just after 4:30pm. The next meeted the collection this time. paella.

A photo quiz kept the grey Followed by an assorted ing to be held at Los matter working during lunch - plate of desserts. Wine, Almendros is planned for 20 pictures of very unusual water, beers and beautiful March 11. Future events Jaguars or parts of Jaguars aromatic coffee...it’s worth planned for 2012 is a cruise to really test the memory coming to the meetings for in convoy to a fantastic gourmet restaurant in Pinoso and banks and Jaguar knowl- the lunch alone! edge.

We all gathered for group a cruise to Calasparra for a

visit to the Sanctuary and a hog roast.

The Jaguar Enthusiasts Club is the largest of the world’s Jaguar Clubs. Apart from joining in the fun at the meetings, members also benefit from a glossy 132 page A4 monthly magazine, Jaguar spares department

and a technical advice service second to none. Special insurance deals and approved service centres are also part of the benefits.

If you live in Spain and own a Jaguar you should be a member of The Jaguar Enthusiasts Club.

The JEC in Spain is organ-

ised by Eric Arnold, who can be contacted by email at barberic@terra.es or by phone on 609931647. Alternatively, check out the JEC website www.jec.org.uk or come along to our next meeting and have a chat. Contact Eric by email to register your interest.

Spanish set to come in on act

THERE were 1200 reasons for fans of the Pantomime Group to smile on Tuesday evening – even though there was no show to entertain them.

The action at the Escuela de Musica in Los Montesinos centred around the presentation of two cheques, each for 600 euros, as

a result of the hugely successful production of Aladdin, in Los Montesinos last month.

Pantomime Group director Christine Smith said: "The group has worked hard to produce this pantomime and I am very appreciative of all the public support and g e n e r o s i t y, especially in this time of economic crisis."

Rosa Belén Morán Paredes, councillor for education, culture and youth in Los Montesinos, was so impressed by the production that she asked if the group would be willing to involve the Spanish community.

Talks are now under way for a very exciting summer pro-

duction, details of which will be available shortly.

The photograph shows Christine Smith with members of the Pantomime Group presenting the cheques to the Banda Infantil de Los Montesinos and to Amparo Pizana Huertas, president of ADISMON, the Los Montesinos charity for the disabled.

7

Friday, January 13, 2012

Spare us another smoke in the gob!

Ana Mato: Amendment?

I PRAY it’s not true, but I hear on the gripe vine that the new Spanish government might be planning to repeal the most valuable law introduced since I’ve been in this country.

It’s exactly one year since the Zapatero government finally stopped pussy-footing around - and banned smoking in bars and restaurants.

Non-smokers like myself rejoiced, just as we did when the UK finally saw sense in July 2007 and freshened up the nation.

Now it is rumoured that new Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy and his minions are considering oveturning the ban in order to boost the economy

during the interminable crisis. And also of course, to allow Rajoy himself to enjoy his addiction to the weed.

The world has come a long way since the cancer-stick crowd ruled the skies and the cinemas.

Remember those horrible holiday flights when you found yourself seated immediately in front of the smoking den at the rear. Ten minutes into the flight you were choking, lost in the smog.

Meanwhile, down at the Odeon, we had to suffer smokers lighting up in the dark and accidentally setting fire to the pants of the guy in the next seat. And remember that smoke beam from the

projection room to the giant screen? Not that you and your latest beau or bird snogging in the back row ever got to see it, of course.

The prospect of those days ever returning is as likely as a garden snail ordering a pint at the Slug and Lettuce in Slime Regis.

One report I read this week said that Spain’s new minister of Health, Social Services and Equality, Ana Mato, has the smoking ban amendment at No.5 on her agenda.

In that case, I suggest that when she gets round to it, our Ana bans smoking OUTSIDE bars and restaurant as well.

GETTING TO GRIPS IN SNOW MOTION I’VE just enjoyed a pleasant holiday season with my kids and grandkids back in Manchester – albeit looking over my shoulder for signs of the snow deluge that decimated my previous two Christmases in England.

Well, I would have looked over my shoulder if I could. But my neck muscles have long given up such extreme physical exercise as a bad job.

Instead I just sat at my computer working as the rain drip, drip, dripped – or more often rattled, poured and sheeted down day after day. No snow, no ice – wonderful. And it wasn’t even particularly cold. But boy, was it miserable. And depressing and windy, too.

On Sunday morning, I managed to escape from the damp clutches of those resident UK spoilsports Gail Howells and Les Miserable and return to Spain, leaving my unfortunate offspring to prepare for the freeze-up that will inevitably hit them in the next few weeks.

And of course, we all know that Britain is going to come to a complete standstill, as it does virtually every year… because the bureaucrats have learned absolutely nothing from their previous mistakes.

Regular readers of my Grumpy rants will know exactly how I feel about the pathetic British mentality that anything thought up by foreigners can’t be any good.

When will we ever accept that the old Empire is dead and

The Broadband and Telephone Company

966 784 532

cil took pride at the start of 2011 in announcing in their ‘Our Voice’ magazine that they had prepared for another bad winter by putting aside an extra 500 tonnes of salt plus 300 salt bins after being caught short by the bitter freeze-up 12 months earlier.

But what did they do to make the borough’s snowbound pavements usable by the elderly and handicapped – surely a far more important issue?

The answer is absolutely zilch.

How about spreading some grit, salt or whatever on the side roads? Not likely.

My daughter’s street, a leafy cul-desac (the picture was taken from a bedroom window) is on a gradient that makes it impossible for those at the top to access their homes by car when we are snowed up – unless they have a four-wheel drive vehicle. And the chances of safely negotiating the two streets between her house and the main road diminish in proportion to the depth of snow.

I’d never really thought about the French idea before but it would certainly be a godsend in my daughter’s locality. The traffic is so heavy on the main A56 Manchester-Bury road that it would take an avalanche to cause any major problem, even without gritting.

And dithering dodderers like myself wouldn’t have to spend days locked indoors afraid to go out in case we fall over and break our necks.

That’s if we haven’t already broken them looking over our creaking shoulders....…

All systems snow: I took this picture on a visit to Manchester a year ago

buried? And has been so for the last 50 years, even if the Beatles did rule the world for a while?

The reality of the 21st century is that the entrepreneurial wheels have dropped off in the UK and that the Europeans have come up with a lot we can learn from. OK, they have no idea how to run their economies – but there again our lot are also a load of bankers. Or something like that.

I’ve written before about Spain’s clever idea of filter lanes in the centre of main roads to allow traffic on side roads to ease onto main carriageways with the minimum of disruption.

Well, I’ve now discovered that the French (and I bet they are not the only ones) have mastered the art of clearing ALL roads of snow and ice in arctic conditions with no more grit than the poverty-screaming UK authorities can muster.

They simply grit the SIDE streets – and leave local residents’ cars to drag it onto the main roads, where the flood of heavy traffic melts away the residue.

I was told about the French idea by a Manchester taxi driver, whose wife is une femme francaise. And he assured me: “The idea works, believe me. I’ve been there and seen it.”

In Bury, Lancashire - where my family live – the local coun-

8

Friday, January 13, 2012

Friday, January 13, 2012

9

10

Friday, January 13, 2012

Dogged by the strife of Brian ONCE upon a time I came downstairs one morning and found my dog Brian slumped in his basket.

He raised a feeble front paw in greeting before letting out a pitiful groan and lapsing into a restless doze.

'Not feeling so well, eh?’ I sympathised.

Brian again lifted his limp paw and indicated his throat.

'What's that, Brian? You reckon you've got an upper respiratory tract infection?'

My dog opened a watery eye, gave a half-hearted cough and nodded in agreement.

'Our Brian's got a cold,' I called upstairs to Mrs S who was having a lie-in.

Within seconds my wife had hurtled lickety-split down the stairs, her dressing gown hem flapping in the downdraft, and was kneeling beside her ailing pet.

Squashing his fevered brow against her polyesterbedecked bosom, she crooned: 'Ah, ah, baby. Mummy's here.'

'For goodness sake, woman!' I cried. 'Leave something for the vet to treat. You're asphyxiating the poor pooch.'

I left the two of them clinging to each other and phoned the animal hospital to make an appointment.

'Name?' asked the receptionist. 'Brian,' I responded.

'I'm sorry, Mr Brian,' said the woman after a small paws . . . sorry, pause. 'I have nobody registered under that name.'

'Er, I'm sorry, too,' I said. 'I thought you meant my dog's name.'

'Your dog is called Mr Brian?'

'N-no,' I stammered. 'It's Mr Silver here.'

'Oh, I see. Your dog is Mr Silver when he's at home. So I assume that Mr Brian is his registered Kennel Club name.'

'No! It's Mr Silver HERE. I'm actually speaking to you now!'

And then (and you're not going to believe this) the receptionist said excitedly: 'Wow! I've never conversed with a talking dog before.

'This is amazing,' the deluded woman cooed breathlessly.

'Do you spell your name Silv-a or Sil-ver? Or haven't your doggy talents got around to spelling yet?'

I gritted my teeth and stifled a howl.

'It's Silver as in Long John. You know, that guy with the parrot on his shoulder who says "Aaaar, them that die'll be the lucky ones."

'And talking to you, madam,' I growled, 'makes me share his sentiments.'

I threw the phone to Mrs S, who had left Brian alone for a moment to find out why I was taking so long.

'You make the appointment,' I said. 'You're much better at dealing with daft people.'

Mrs S looked me up and down. 'You can say that again.'

Anyway, that afternoon I plonked Brian in the car and set off for the vet's.

Curled up on the back seat, my mongrel assumed a hangdog look but as usual made no comment.

'Curses!' I exclaimed when we arrived at our destination.

'I've only gone and forgotten your dog lead.

'I know, I'll use my trouser belt. But what if in consequence my trousers fall down?'

Brian placed his trembling front paws over his eyes at that particular mental image.

'Forgive me, my faithful mutt. Here you are feeling quite ill and I'm wittering on about appearing immodest.'

The vet's waiting room was heaving with animals and their owners.

A woman manning the desk called out: 'I'm sorry about the delay, folks, but our regular receptionist has gone off with an apparent nervous breakdown.

'She claimed she'd been on the phone with a talking dog.

'However, please be patient and you shall all be seen eventually.'

The next two hours passed slowly but despite his weak state, Brian made friends with a hyperactive tortoise and a one-eared, three-legged hamster called Lucky.

And then it was our turn to be seen. At least I think it was.

'Mr Ron John Silver,' the stand-in receptionist called.

The vet looked puzzled when I led Brian into his inner sanctum.

'That's strange,' he said, consulting his notes. 'I had your

dog written down as a sick parrot. Mind you, our counter clerk wasn't feeling so good when she took the booking.

'Anyway, little feller, jump up onto the examination table and let's have a look at you.'

Both the vet and Brian looked suddenly startled as I clambered onto the table.

The only mitigating explanation I can offer is that I tend to become confused when I'm tired.

Anyway, there is almost a happy ending to this story.

The vet examined Brian, gave him an injection and prescribed some pills.

As we departed the surgery I bumped into the vicar's wife, who was arriving with her pet rat.

'What a gorgeous sunny day,' she greeted me.

'It certainly is,' I replied. 'It's lovely out.'

At which point my trousers fell down.

Snapped bungee plunges tourist into African river Tongue twister arrested AN Australian tourist bungee jumping in Africa plunged 365 feet into a river when her cord snapped. But she managed to swim to safety with a broken collarbone and her legs tied together.

"I felt like I'd been slapped all over," said the 22-yearold from Perth.

Video taken of the jump shows the cord snapping and Erin Langworthy smacking into the river before the cur-

rent pulled her into rapids.

"You get sucked under and then you pop up so it's very disorientating — I didn't know which was up or down," she said.

She said the trailing cord repeatedly snagged, so she "had to swim down and yank the bungee cord out of whatever it was caught on to make it to the surface."

Langworthy swam through the rapids to reach the Zimbabwe bank.

Southern Province Police Commissioner Brenda Muntemba told the Post Zambia newspaper that Langworthy was treated at a clinic in Zimbabwe before being evacuated to South Africa.

The jump from the Victoria Falls Bridge is operated by Safari Par Excellence, whose website describes the bungee experience as "111 metres (365 feet) of pure Adrenalin!"

AUTHORITIES in southern Wisconsin are facing a tongue twister thanks to the arrest of Beezow Doo-Doo ZopittybopBop-Bop. The unusually named 30year-old man was in jail on Sunday in Madison. Police say he violated his bail conditions from a previous run-in with the law.

Court records show that his name used to be Jeffrey Drew Wilschke. He legally changed it in October.

The Capital Times reports that Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was arrested last week after residents complained of excessive drinking and drug use near Reynolds Park in Madison.

Authorities say he was arrested in another local park last April after police found a loaded handgun in his backpack.

He's tentatively charged with carrying a concealed knife, and possession of drug paraphernalia and marijuana.

11

Friday, January 13, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSON 2 Pronunciation THE first thing to remember is that in Spanish the words are almost always pronounced as they are written. To this end it is important to know how to pronounce the letters in Spanish.

Firstly the vowels, these are important because they are so different to how they are pronounced in English.

A = Ah (as in Antler) papá E = Eh (as in Echo or España!!) and at the end of the word as Ay as in day and delante I = E ( as in Eager) piña

O = Oh (as in gOsh) local U = oo (as in mOOn) - lunes but it is silent after Q Quesada and in ´gue´and ´gui ´ guisante unless it is marked güe or güi in which case it pronounced like ´w´ (wolf) as in antigüedad Other useful letters and combinations that need to be learnt: Ai, ay –as I in rIde baile Au – as ou in shout auto

Ei, ey - as ey in grey buey Eu = both vowels are pronounced independently deuda (e) + (u) eg. Deh oo da B and V are very similar sounding, I suggest when starting to learn, before you can soften the sound, you pronounce b as B and v as V bomba, vía C = c before a,o,u is pronounced as in cat caja Ce, ci = pronounced as in Thin or as an S sound depending on accent. Cero, cielo Ch is pronounced as in Chair chiste G before a,o or u is pronounced as in Gap gafas, pagar Ge, Gi is pronounced similar to CH in loCH gigante, gente H is always silent in Spanish, ¡hola!

J is pronounced similar to CH in loCH jugar LL is pronounced like the Y in Yet or the lli in million llamar Ñ is pronounced like the ni in oNIon, sometimes seen as NY as in the football team Espanyol niño Q is pronounced as K in King que R is always pronounced in Spanish quitar RR is trilled like a Scottish R gorro Z is pronounced TH as in Thin or S again depending on accent cerveza Spain is full of regions and areas and each has its own accent, the same as the UK. As such the above is just a guide and a way you should pronounce the words. When you become more familiar with Spanish, you will hear many different accents and pronunciations.

Have a read through the letters and practise saying them

out loud; then, when you read Spanish words, you will know in your head how they sound. That is the first step to Speaking Spanish and being understood.

Answers to last week’s questions

THE LA puerta --- The door EL perro --- The dog EL libro --- The book LA bebida --- The drink EL coche --- The car EL avión --- The aeroplane

A/AN/SOME UNA pelota --- A ball UNA piscina --- A swimming pool UNOS libros --- Some books UN chico --- A boy UNA chica --- A girl UNAS personas --- some people UN pez --- A fish

12

Friday, January 13, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT?

Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH presents a new column on the behaviour of pets. If YOUR dog or cat is giving you problems, email peter@thedogyouneed.com IT’S just gone midnight and I’m on the A7 motorway heading towards Valencia.

I have just collected a female mixed breed dog. She is about the size of a small German Shepherd and has a beautiful golden coat. Her name is Nela and she is around eight years old.

She is heading to a new life in the United Kingdom, after spending most of her life in a rescue centre in Murcia.

The part of her life that was not spent in rescue - it was spent being severely abused by humans.

I have been told by the rescue centre that she is very fearful and suffers from agoraphobia (morbid fear of open spaces). They also mentioned that Nela could attack me, would try to escape and would find the 1,413-mile journey that lay ahead very distressing!

Right now, though, Nela is doing none of those things.

What she is doing is sleeping.

Curled up on the carpet in a little ball next to me as I drive.

She is comfortable and totally relaxed.

Nela, who apparently was going to have the journey from hell, is probably for the first time in her life doing what she was always meant to do.

Living in the moment and being a dog.

The reason she is so calm is simple.

When I first met Nela, dog’. about two hours ago, If I spoke to Nela in English I didn’t speak English. I also or Spanish I would not have did not speak Spanish. What been able to connect with her I did do was ‘speak dog’. on a primal level and when I There was no sound am with a dog I always want involved. I just used my them to feel totally relaxed energy and body language. I around me, so ‘speaking love dogs with a passion dog’ is a large part of my life. and due to this fact, it is only When she first came on right that I learn to ‘speak board the vehicle with her

PETER SINGH is a dog behaviourist/psychologist who provides one-to-one consultations with dog owners who experience problem behaviour with their pets.

Peter, who himself owns five dogs and three cats, also runs monthly

dog psychology courses for clients.

His philosophy regarding dog behaviour is uncomplicated and easy to understand - you can check it out at www.thedogyouneed.com Peter has had a 100% success rate with clients in both Spain and

the United Kingdom.

He also ensures pets of all shapes and sizes have a relaxing and peaceful mode of transport throughout Europe with his pet transport business, www.europeanpettransport. com

SPEAK DOG - IT REALLY WORKS

Peter with three pups he fostered in Spain

carer from the rescue centre, I totally ignored her. I let her be herself and waited for her to approach me and smell me.

When she did this I still could not make a fuss of her, because by smelling me she simply wanted to know who I was.

When she had finished smelling me, she stayed quite close to me Nela: and a few minPeter utes later she spoke gave me the ‘dog’ to okay as she her nudged my knee with her head. That is a Dog’s way of saying, ‘’I think you’re all right and I would be happy for you to stroke me’’.

When I did stroke her, it was very slow calm strokes under her chin and not on the top of her head.

Why I stroked her under her chin is because I wanted Nela to raise her head to give her confidence, rather than stroking the top of her head, where her head would have then dropped to a low position.

There was never any sound involved. Sound is a human thing.

Peter relaxes with his four dogs (from left), Billy, Pedro, Pickle and Lola

There was only silence.

Silence that created calm.

We had some beautiful walks on the way back to the United Kingdom. We also had some special moments together. Human and dog, not living in the past or the future, but “the present”.

Both of us totally calm and sharing quiet moments, with no high-pitched noises that most humans make when they are with dogs.

When I drove closer to Nela’s new home in Leicestershire, I felt sad that these were our final few moments together, but at the

same time happy for the new start she was about to be given.

I had been studying dog psychology for some time and on arriving I advised Nela’s new owners not to get excited around her and to let her approach them when she

was comfortable.

When they set eyes on Nela, the husband approached her, knelt down and started talking to her!

With that, Nela tried to bite him.

They became friends in the end, but it is important for

humans to acknowledge that dogs speak a completely different language to us, which should be honoured.

Nela sadly died two years later, but at least during her lifetime she did get to experience ‘living in the now’, just as the universe had always intended for her. R.I.P. Nela x

Friday, January 13, 2012

LÍNEA DIRECTA, THE BEST COMPANY FOR EXPATRIATES AT THE BEST PRICE Since 1998 Línea Directa, the market leader in the sale of direct car, motorbike and home insurance in Spain, has offered an exclusive telephone service entirely in English and German. This service, the first of its kind in Spain, forms part of the company’s commitment to quality and excellence, which have also made it the market leader in this business sector, due to the fact that it currently has over 63,000 foreign customers residing in Spain.

As a result, services such as purchasing a policy, making enquiries, processing claims, sending documents and 24-hour assistance can all be carried out in English or German at a time which is convenient for the customer by making just one phone call.

And not only does Línea Directa offer the best, it also offers its services at the most competitive price on the market.

A real case

“This email to confirm receipt of insurance settlement in my bank account today.

Many thanks for the professional and efficient way you have dealt with this claim.

Regards.”

Call now 902 123 104

13

14

Friday, January 13, 2012

Kidney or liver: Surgeon’s fatal error

A WIDOW died on the operating table when an experienced surgeon tried to remove a liver instead of a kidney in a fatal mix-up, an inquest heard this week.

Retired accountant Amy Francis, 77, of Newport, South Wales, died of internal bleeding and heart trauma despite urgent efforts to save her.

Consultant urologist Dr Adam Carter relived the moment he discovered his fatal mistake in a candid retelling of his error.

Relatives of the pensioner listened in silence at the inquest in Newport and afterwards praised Dr Carter for his honesty.

Son Alan Francis, 52, went on to wish him well for the future and praised the hospital for "owning up" early to the error.

Mrs Francis (pictured) underwent keyhole surgery to remove a cancerous right kidney at the Royal Gwent Hospital on July 21, 2010.

Cancer in her left kidney was less serious and was due to be treated after she had recovered from the routine surgery.

Dr Carter explained that tiny cameras are

slid inside small incisions below the ribs in a technique known as keyhole surgery.

Once the kidney is located, a larger incision is made lower down allowing the surgeon to put his hand inside and simply pull it out.

The second incision prevents continued use of cameras and means the procedure is done "blind", using sense of touch and experience.

Dr Carter said the removal is the easiest part and he asked a trainee, who had never done it before, to carry it out.

She felt inside the cavity but was not confident enough to remove the organ and Dr Carter took over himself. He said it was possible that while she was manipulating the organ the thin membrane protecting the liver, the peritoneal sac, was breached.

"I think that what happened is that the peritoneum had been breached and the liver fell down and became more accessible than it usually is."

He added that the kidney may well have been pulled down out of place as well. "I put my hand inside and felt an organ and I pulled it," he said. He was immediately told by the anaesthetist that the patient's blood pressure was dropping and he realised his error.

Two senior surgeons were called and every effort was made to save Mrs Francis, but they were not successful.

Dr Carter said that as a result of the death, operating procedure had been modified slightly and the new method communicated "worldwide".

He said he had carried out the procedure 20 times since the death without a problem.

David Bowen, the coroner for Gwent, recorded a narrative verdict after formally summarising the facts of the case.

"Whilst undergoing keyhole surgery for the necessary removal of the cancerous right kidney, Mrs Francis's liver was ruptured when it was mistakenly and unintentionally identified as the kidney and was catastrophically torn and damaged, resulting in death," he said.

Son Alan Francis said before the inquest finished: "We accept the decision and we also accept that Mr Carter and his team acted in good faith to prolong my mother's life. We also appreciated his honesty and wish him well for the future and hope he goes on to do other successful operations."

Outside he added: "We appreciated Mr Carter's honesty and him coming along here today and hope that we can put it all behind us now.

"I think that it was the honesty that saved the hospital. If we thought that they had not answered our questions it would have been different. This was an honest mistake."

A QUESTION OF SHORT

MARTIN HENDERSON, who is 4ft 2in tall, had left his 37th birthday celebration to have a cigarette when the yob struck. He lifted him into the air and dropped him on to the hard ground, leaving him with agonising injuries to his back and legs.

The incident happened in October, just after England's rugby players were pictured at a dwarf-throwing contest in New Zealand.

Acording to The Sun, Martin now needs crutches or a zimmer frame to get around and a wheelchair for longer journeys.

He said: "The England players had been in trouble for going to a dwarf tossing event

and this might have given this guy the idea."

Martin has previously appeared on TV's Bigger Breakfast and as one of the seven dwarfs in a Snow White panto. He also appeared alongside dwarf actor Warwick Davis in the TV mini-series 10th Kingdom.

But he says no one will hire him now because he cannot perform due to the injuries he got from the attack outside the White Horse pub in Wincanton, Somerset.

He said: "I was at the back of the pub outside and the next thing I know I'm suddenly in the air and someone has got hold of me. A man just approached, lifted me up and

dropped me. He didn't say anything.

"I managed to get up and after some swearing I went into the pub. I then went to hospital because I started to feel numb in my back and legs. I had surgery on my back in 2010 and was making really good progress But then this happened. I keep falling over and now I have fractured my arm."

A police spokesperson said: "Officers investigating would like to speak to anyone who may have been in the pub on the night of October 7. It follows an incident in which a small person was picked up by an unknown person in the bar and dropped."

Friday, January 13, 2012

15

Let’s twist again, the Beeb’s still biased HERE’s a new twist in UK politics. The normal routine is for every opposition party to say wonderful things about the BBC, and then to dump on that organisation from a great height when they become the elected government.

Back in the early sixties, Harold Wilson loved the Beeb, but when he became PM, he got into a semi-paranoia about the broadcaster always being biased against Labour.

Fast forward to 2012, and we have the Leader of the Opposition, Ed Miliband, slagging off the BBC as biased in favour of the Coalition, and saying that Labour’s spokespeople don’t get a fair crack of the whip.

It’s classic waffle designed to detract from his own problems, and at least when William Hague and Ian Duncan Smith were making a complete botch job of running the Tories, they didn’t go looking to bash the BBC over the head as an excuse for their poor fortunes!

In fact, I caught many Labour politicians on the BBC last week, and what interesting things they had to say, their transport spokesman is a feisty lady called Maria Eagle, and she appeared on a lot of news bulletins slagging off the government for allowing huge increases in rail fares to go ahead.

Outrageous, I agree, but has Ms. Eagle been suffering from an horrific bout of memory loss? Didn’t Labour preside over inflation-busting fare rises in every one of the 13 years they were in power? This sort of cheap grandstanding bores

any sane human being to death. Railways in the UK have always been an utter shambles under all political parties, who should hang their heads in collective shame for having done nothing to bring their standards into line with continental Europe.

The old nationalised ‘British Rail’ was rubbish, and likewise the complete anarchy of the nineties when services were privatised in the interests of political dogma, with safety being compromised.

By the time high-speed rail makes an expensive appearance, I’ll probably be sharing a drink with the old Grim Reaper!

DO you remember a guy called Liam Byrne? He was Labour’s last Chief Secretary to the Treasury, who famously left a short note to his Coalition successor, David Laws, telling him that all the money had been spent. It was meant to be a joke, but nobody fell about laughing, and now Mr.Byrne, in his role as Shadow Works and Pensions spokesman, has popped up to suggest big changes to the Welfare State.

His argument is that benefits cannot be afforded in times of mass unemployment, and that there’s too much “unearned support”.

It’s a dramatic bit of kite-flying which would not have happened when he was in power, but there’s some common sense and realism in what Byrne has said, and will also play well to the crucial middle-ground of politics.

What Mr.Miliband’s Luddite union pals will have to say about it will be a very different matter, though.

I NEVER looked forward to Diane Abbott becoming a Labour shadow minister. The simple reason was that her weekly late night TV political double act with Michael Portillo would be severely restricted, and I always enjoyed her refreshingly honest views.

Keeping it zipped was never one of Diane’s traits, and so she’s had to toe the line as a Health spokesman. But in the world of Twitter, you quickly make off-the-cuff comments that you later regret, so in a discussion of the term “black com-

munity leaders”, she tweeted that “white people love playing divide and rule”.

It’s fair to say that if a white politician said that, then his or her head would be quickly pierced by a stake and set on fire.

Instead, she got a ticking-off from Miliband, and she apologised, saying her comments were taken out of context.

She’s one lucky lady, and much as I’m a fan of hers, she has her ethnic background to thank for keeping her job.

That double-standard, I’m afraid, is not good enough, and Miliband bottled making a key decision which would have been widely supported.

DAVID Cameron always has a PR eye for a bit of populism, and the Prime Minister popped up on the BBC last Sunday to offer a few eye catching headlines. He’s declared war on excessive salaries for company executives, as well as trying to stop big payouts for poor executives who have been given the boot. Apparently shareholders will be given more power to make this all happen, but isn’t all this just a neat piece of smoke to cover up the fact that, after nearly two years in power, the Coalition Government has done sweet nothing to improve fairness and transparency in boardrooms across the UK? Methinks also that too many Tory Party donors would start screaming if Mr.Cameron went too far!

16

Friday, January 13, 2012

THE UK NEWS

MURDER PROBE

A TEENAGER has been arrested on suspicion of murder after a house fire left four siblings dead.

The 18-year-old, from Lytham, Lancashire, is being held following the fire last Saturday evening.

Reece Smith, 19, four-year-old twins Holly and Ella and two-yearold Jordan died after a blaze broke out at their home in Freckleton.

All four were taken to Preston Royal Infirmary but later pronounced dead. Post mortem examinations showed they all died from smoke inhalation.

Police confirmed on Wednesday

Teenager held as police admit killer blaze was ‘suspicious’

Daily Mirror

that the fire was started inside a wardrobe in one of the bedrooms at the converted bungalow on Lytham Road.

Detective Chief Inspector Neil Esseen, from Lancashire Police, said: “I can confirm that this fire is now being treated as suspicious.

“We are following a number of lines of inquiry and have spoken with a number of people who were at the house on the night in question.

"However, I would still A BRITISH tourist was electrocuted in urge anybody who has Thailand while reaching for a bottle of water any information which from a fridge. they believe could assist Friends believe Grant Harrison, 36, had been sunbathing by the pool on the island of us with our investigation Koh Phangan and was killed when he went to to come forward."

Mother Michelle get a drink.

The Middlesbrough football fan had gone Smith, 36, who has five backpacking with his girlfriend after being other children, was led made redundant for a third time and arrived out of the house by fireat the party isle last week.

Grant, from Stokesley, near fighters and was not Middlesbrough, had moved to London a few thought to be injured.

The blaze took hold years ago.

In August last year, a 20-year-old British hours after the family tourist died in Patong, Thailand after he put held a party at the his hand on an outdoor, floor-mounted house to celebrate her power socket covered with water. birthday.

Brit in Thai fridge death tragedy

Twins Holly and Ella Smith died in the fire

Daily Mirror

Skiers hit by freak snowfalls SKI resorts across Europe are in 'lockdown' after a series of freak snowfalls severed road, rail and air links amid fears of avalanches.

Tourists in areas across Austria, southern Germany, France and Switzerland have been advised to stay indoors after several feet of snow fell in just a few days.

Some business owners are so worried they have taken to shutting up shops and restaurants by 9pm - with many runs also closed.

Daily Mail In the Austrian Alps more than 1,000 British holidaymakers have been left trapped in the town of Ischgl after 10ft of powder fell in 48 hours. More are stranded in Galtur, St Anton and Arlberg.

It is a remarkable turnaround for the resorts which were left fretting at the start of the season after a lack of snow forced them to delay opening.

Household crisis: 1 in 3 out of work in Liverpool Daily Mail ALMOST a third of households in Liverpool has no-one in employment living in them, a shocking study has revealed.

Across the UK there are 3.9 million workless households, where at least one person of working age lives - 18.9% of the total, research by the GMB union showed.

The highest regional percentage was 24% in the North East, followed by 22.5% in Wales, 22.4% in Northern Ireland and 21% in the North West, with the lowest at 14.55% in the South East.

Liverpool had the worst figure, with 31.9 % workless households, followed by Nottingham (31.5), Glasgow (30.8) and Middlesbrough (30.7) GMB general secretary Paul Kenny said: “The areas with the highest levels of households without work are those areas which were first devastated by the recessions in the 1980s and 1990s.”

Animal kingdom in mourning over Dear Leader’s death THE death of Kim Jong-il (pictured) has been mourned by bears, it has been claimed.

The Korean Central News Agency reported last week that a family of bears - usually hibernating throughout the winter - had been observed weeping following the death of the Dear Leader.

“The bears, believed to be a

Daily Mirror mother and cubs, were staying on the road, crying woefully,” it was said.

The bawling bears are not the first members of the animal kingdom reported to have been grieving for the late North Korean leader. State

media has also reported that a flock of magpies paid tribute to Jong-il in December.

“At around 17:30 on December 19, 2011, hundreds of magpies appeared from nowhere and hovered over a statue of President Kim il Sung on Changdok School campus in Mangyongdae District, clattering as if they were telling him the

sad news,” the news agency claimed.

The process of building a mythical reputation for successor Kim Jong-Un has already begun.

He is portrayed as the image of his grandfather and has been dubbed the “genius of geniuses” in military affairs despite having no known military experience.

Friday, January 13, 2012

THE TABLOIDS

MORE KIDS MORE CASH Ministers pledge cap to end huge pay-outs

ALMOST 200 families with 10 or more children each get £60,000 a year in handouts, new figures reveal.

These huge broods in workless households are costing taxpayers nearly £12million a year.

The figures, released by the Department for Work and Pensions, will fuel fears that some welfare scroungers are having large families simply to increase their state-funded incomes.

And ministers have vowed to continue to crack down on the lavish expenditure by capping benefits for all households at a maximum of £500 a week.

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith said: “Labour left our welfare system in a sorry state, with too many people better off out of work and on benefits than if they entered the working world.”

The figures from May 2010 revealed a workless family with 10 children could receive around £1,177-aweek in benefits, including Jobseeker’s Allowance, Child Tax Credits, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit and Child Benefit.

Cashing in: Unemployed Pete and Sam Smith and their ten children raked in £95,000 a year in UK benefits

Daily Express Under proposals to be debated in the House of Lords over the next couple of weeks, total benefit claims will be capped at £26,000 from next year when the new Universal Credit replaces the current plethora of hand-outs.

Tory Cabinet minister Jeremy Hunt recently faced criticism from Labour for arguing that people living on benefits had to “take responsibility” for the size of their families.

17

Crackdown on fat cat pay a ‘gimmick’ Daily Mirror

DAVID Cameron’s claims to be tackling fat cat pay have been exposed by revelations about what Royal Bank of Scotland’s boss is set to earn this year.

RBS chief executive Stephen Hester (pictured) is likely to pocket £7million despite the plummeting share price at the bailed out bank, which is mostly owned by taxpayers.

The figures emerged as the Prime Minister talked tough about ending boardroom excess by giving shareholders the power to veto “golden goodbyes” and obscene pay if companies fail to perform.

Mr Cameron insisted he would end “crony capitalism”, allowing

executives at one corporation to set pay for those at another.

Labour MP John Mann said of Mr Hester’s pay deal: “If David Cameron lets this go ahead it will show that all his talk is just a gimmick with no substance and that he doesn’t intend to do anything about executive pay.”

Insiders say Mr Hester is poorly paid compared to rivals but his pay and perks could still net him £7million.

RBS, which is predicted to announce a profit of £4.6billion for 2011, has not agreed his deal yet and said reports about it were “utterly speculative”.

Safety fears as Airbus cracks AUSTRALIAN aircraft engineers have called for Airbus A380 - the world’s biggest passenger aircraft - to be grounded, after Singapore Airlines and Qantas found cracks in the wings of their super-jumbos.

“We can’t continue to gamble with people’s lives and allow those aircraft to fly around and hope they make it to their four-yearly inspection,” said Steve Purvinas, secretary of the Australian Licensed Aircraft Engineers Association.

Both airlines, and Airbus, admitted that they had discovered cracks, but

Daily Mail maintained that the aircraft were safe.

In total, 67 Airbus A380s are in use worldwide - on Qantas, Singapore Airlines, Emirates, Air France, Lufthansa, Korean Airlines and China Southern.

“We confirm that cracks were found on non-critical wing attachments on a limited number of A380s,” an Airbus spokesperson said, but insisted the cracks did not affect the safety of the aircraft.

Chef nabbed shoplifting sorry for ‘stupid actions’ CELEBRITY chef Antony Worrall Thompson has apologised for his “stupid and irresponsible actions” after he was arrested for shoplifting cheese and wine at a supermarket.

The 60-year-old Ready Steady Cook star was cautioned by police after he was caught stealing from the Tesco store in Henley-on-

Daily Express Thames, Oxfordshire.

In a message on his website, Worrall Thompson said: “I am so sorry for all my recent stupid and irresponsible actions.

“I am, of course, devastated for

my family and friends, whom I've let down, and will seek the treatment that is clearly needed.

“I am not the first and I certainly won't be the last person to do something without rhyme or reason - what went through my head, only time will tell. Of course, I must also apologise sincerely to Tesco, with whom I’ve

had a long and genuine working relationship, and to all the staff at the Henley branch, many of whom I’ve got to know over the years.

The former I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! contestant, whose restaurant business has been hit by the recession, was caught while using a self-scanning till last Friday.

18

Friday, January 13, 2012

COSY JANUARY RECIPES Make the most of January's fresh and rich produce and tuck into these cosy and comforting recipes. We've got winter soups, risotto, pies and heart-warming curry recipes Vegetable soup

Method

It's a classic for a reason! This healthy comfort food is the perfect winter-warmer.

1. Stir the peanut butter into a jug containing 200ml hot water, until it dissolves. Stir in the purée, lime zest and juice, soy or fish sauce and sugar. Ignore how ropey this looks! Set aside.

2. Remove the leaves from the coriander and set aside. Chop the stalks and roots as finely as you can, along with the chilli, garlic and ginger.

3. Heat the oil in a wok or good-sized pan and fry the onions quite briskly for a few minutes, so that they catch slightly. As soon as this starts to happen, add the pumpkin and stir-fry for a few minutes. Stir in the chilli mixture for 1 minute, and then add the coconut milk. Stir, and then add the peanut butter mix. Cook at a brisk simmer for 15-20 minutes, until the sauce has thickened slightly and the pumpkin is tender. Season to taste or add more soy or fish sauce, as you like. Garnish with coriander leaves and serve with cooked rice.

Ingredients 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

1 tbsp. butter 1 tbsp. olive oil 1 onion, chopped 2-3 medium potatoes, chopped ?into cubes 2 carrots, chopped 1 parsnip, chopped 1 litre vegetable stock 100ml double cream

Method

1. Over a mediumhigh heat, melt the butter with the oil in a big pan.

When the butter foams, add the onion and fry for 2 minutes. Add the veg and cook for 6-10 minutes until they start to soften. Add the stock and bring to the boil.

Lower the heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes or until the vegetables are tender.

2. Season, then enjoy as chunky veg broth or whizz with a hand blender to make a smooth soup. Stir in the cream before serving.

Pumpkin and peanut curry Although pumpkin is not a root vegetable it inhabits the same knobbly territory. You will not believe how exotic something made with peanut butter can taste.

Ingredients 1. 2 tbsp. crunchy peanut butter 2. 1 tsp. tomato purée 3. Zest and juice of 1 lime 4. 1 tbsp. soy sauce or Thai fish sauce 5. 1 tsp. sugar 6. Small handful fresh coriander, with roots (if possible) 7. 2 red chillies, halved and deseeded 8. 4 garlic cloves 9. 1cm piece fresh ginger 10. 2 tbsp. vegetable oil 11. 2 red onions, cut into thin wedges 12. 800g pumpkin or butternut squash, peeled, deseeded and roughly diced 13. 400ml can coconut milk

Prawns with carrots, chilli and cumin This is based on a dish from the Middle East, where, of course, they wouldn’t add the shellfish. Winter is the best time for carrots, as they are at their sweetest. If you’re feeling flush, substitute the prawns for Dublin Bay prawns (langoustines).

Ingredients 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

500g carrots, sliced on the diagonal 2 tbsp. olive oil 300g fresh, raw, peeled cold-water prawns 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped 1 large, mild red chilli, finely sliced on the diagonal Juice of 1 small lemon 1 tsp. cumin seeds, toasted Fresh flat leaf parsley, to garnish

Method 1. Blanch the carrots in boiling water for a few minutes, until just tender but still with plenty of bite. Drain and refresh under cold water until cool.

2. Heat the oil in a wok or wide pan over a medium-high heat. Add the prawns and stir-fry for 2 minutes, until they’ve all turned pink. Add the garlic and chilli and stir-fry for about 1 minute, then remove from the heat.

3. Throw the carrots into the same pan, add the lemon juice and stir together. Season with salt, and tip into a large serving bowl. Sprinkle with the cumin seeds and garnish with as much parsley as you fancy.

Creamy chicken, chive and mustard gratin This is a really comforting dish with a flavoursome, creamy filling and a crunchy topping. Perfect if you have some mustard and stale bread to use up.

Ingredients 1. 300g floury potatoes, thinly sliced 2. 1 batch (600ml) frozen poached chicken meat and broth, defrosted 3. 25g butter 4. 25g plain flour 5. 100ml half-fat crème fraîche 6. 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard (we like Maille mustard) 7. Bunch of fresh chives, snipped, plus 2 tbsp. extra, to garnish 8. 40g Cheshire or Caerphilly cheese, crumbled 9. 40g fresh breadcrumbs

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan180°C/ gas 6. Bring a saucepan of water to the boil and cook the potatoes for 6-8 minutes, until nearly cooked through. Drain well.

2. Make the sauce. Strain the broth from the chicken into a measuring jug. Set aside the chicken. Melt the butter in a saucepan, add the flour and cook for 2 minutes, until it forms a smooth paste. Add the broth, a little at a time, and simmer until you have a smooth, thickened sauce, stirring all the time.

3. Stir the crème fraîche and mustard into the sauce and heat for a few minutes. Add the chicken and chives and season to taste.

4. Spoon the mixture into a 1.5-litre gratin or ovenproof baking dish and arrange the potatoes on top. Sprinkle over the cheese and breadcrumbs and bake for 20 minutes, until the top is pale golden and the filling bubbling hot. Preheat the grill to high and grill the gratin for 5 minutes to crisp up the topping.

Scatter with the extra chives to serve.

Potato and bread soup with wild garlic This subtle potato, bread and wild garlic soup is just the job for those bright but cool spring days.

Ingredients 1. 3 tbsp. olive oil 2. 2 onions, finely diced 3. 4 large (about 800g) floury potatoes, diced 4. 600ml hot vegetable (or chicken) stock 5. About 100g stale rustic bread, such as sourdough or ciabatta, torn into pieces 6. 3-4 handfuls wild garlic, washed but whole 7. Extra-virgin olive oil (preferably a peppery one), to serve 8. 1 dried red chilli, crumbled, to serve (optional)

Method 1. Gently heat the olive oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes, until soft but not browned. Stir in the potatoes and a good pinch of sea salt, cover and reduce the heat to low. Sweat for 15-20 minutes or until the potatoes start to look fluffy around the edges. Check they aren’t catching.

2. Add the stock to the pan, increase the heat slightly and bring the soup up to a simmer but don’t boil. Simmer for 6-8 minutes or until the potatoes are really soft. Add the bread pieces and mash them gently into the soup. You could purée the soup but I use a potato masher as this gives it more texture.

3. Check the seasoning and thickness of the soup. Remove from the heat and add the wild garlic to wilt, or line the soup bowls with the wild garlic and then pour in the soup. Put the extra-virgin olive oil and the chilli, if using, on the table for people to help themselves. You could also garnish the soup with a grated, crumbly cheese, such as Parmesan, Pecorino or even Lancashire

19

Friday, January 13, 2012

Alfonsa’s Afters

These days, with the children and grandchildren settled, Alfonsa takes great delight in preparing sweets and desserts for their visits. Here are a few for you to try.

Spanish custard with biscuit (Natillas con galletas maria) 1 litre milk Rind of 1 lemon 4 eggs Sugar to taste Plain biscuits (maria galletas) Cinnamon Heat the milk, lemon rind and sugar up to boiling point When it reaches boiling point add beaten eggs, off the heat, slowly beating continually.

Place back onto heat and stir until it reaches boiling point again Remove from heat.

After pouring hot custard into individual bowls add a plain biscuit and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Chill and serve

Yoghurt sponge cake (Bizcocho de yogur) 1 lemon flavoured yoghurt Equivalent measure of olive oil 2 equivalent measures of sugar 3 equivalent measures of flour 3 eggs and a little yeast

Beat eggs and add the rest of ingredients little by little Finally add flour and yeast.

Place into cake tin previously rubbed with butter Place into a hot oven 180 degrees When baked and cooled it is a popular option to cut in half and add jam or chocolate spread

Apple tart (Tarta de manzana) 1kilo apples 1 glass flour 1 and 1/4 glasses sugar 3 eggs 1 glass milk Apricot jam Peel and thinly slice apples and place into a baking tin previously greased.

Beat eggs add flour sugar and milk and beat together in a bowl.

Pour mixture over apples.

Bake in oven until solidified.

Remove from oven and add apricot jam.

Return to oven and bake for 10 minutes more.

Huesitos (Little bones!?)

1 glass sugar 1 glass wine Flour Grated lemon rind Cinnamon Icing sugar to decorate Mix all ingredients together Add flour little by little until the mixture can be melded without sticking to hands Mould into little bone shapes Bake in hot oven until golden Remove and sprinkle with icing sugar

Fried biscuit / doughnut rings (Rosquillos fritos) 1 egg 4 dessertspoons of oil 4 dessertspoons milk 4 dessertspoons aniseed liquor (Maria brizard) 6 dessertspoons sugar Little yeast Flour Mix ingredients and add flour until able to knead Make little balls with mixture Make holes in centre by pushing finger through.

Deep fry Remove when golden and sprinkle with sugar Grated lemon rind can be used instead of aniseed liquor

20

Friday, January 13, 2012

THE SPANISH PRESS

FIGURES SOAR AT ALICANTE AIRPORT Informacion

Truce: The Spanish gypsy and Senegalese communities make a pact in Barcelona

ALICANTE airport looks set to record its highest number of passengers ever.

In 2011, 10 million passengers used Alicante airport, 500,000 more than the previous year - and during an economic crisis.

Air companies have requested 15 per cent more flights for this year, however that percentage may vary.

Ryanair is gradually being drawn back to Alicante airport. Fourteen of the 31 flights the company stopped at the beginning of the winter will resume at the end of March.

Although the year has started with a reduction in flights to Palma and Paris, as Air Europe stops operating, if all goes to plan, Ryanair looks set to take over these destinations in March.

Two new companies will also start flying out of El Altet this year. Alicante will be linked to the capital of Iceland, Reykjavik, and to Zurich in Switzerland, through low cost airlines Wow Air (in June) and Edelweiss Air (in May).

Air Berlin has announced direct flights to Nuremberg every Friday, as well as flights to Munich, Hamburg and Berlin.

Jet2 will offer flights to Edinburgh, Belfast, East Midlands (Nottingham) and Newcastle, as well as London, and Bmibaby will also fly to Belfast.

Ryanair hopes to resume flights to Bournemouth, Cork, Kerry and Knock in February and March.

Due to high demand, the number of flights to Moscow will double this June, with two daily flights with Siberia Airlines.

Aeroflot will also fly to Russia, to Sheremetievo, and a weekly charter flight will bring passengers from Saint Petersburg.

El Pais

SPAIN was rocked last week when a Senagalese man was shot by a Spanish gypsy in Barcelona.

The incident sparked a wave of street violence to protest the death.

The four suspects, who were arrested in connection with the crime, have more than 60 police charges between them, ranging from drug trafficking to aggression.

Two of the four men have been ordered to remain in custody after a judge on Friday charged them with murder. The other two were released with charges filed against them for aggression and making threats.

The suspects - a father and his three sons - are residents of the same Besòs neighbourhood in which the victim, 32-year-old Ibrahima Dyei, lived. Dyei was shot dead following an argument over a soccer match.

The incident ignited already edgy racial tensions between gypsies and African immigrants in Barcelona. On A MURCIA judge has Thursday, gypsy associabeen fined 3,000 tions and representatives of euros for insulting homo- the Senegalese residents in sexuals, single mothers Catalonia agreed to put their and immigrants, the differences aside and made a CCOO union announced public commitment not to last week. foment more tension.

The fine was handed However, one man said: “If down by the Civil there is no justice, there will Registry against the be revenge.” judge, whose name has In another story, a 21-yearnot been released. old man from GuineaAccording to a CCOO Conakry died last Friday statement, the judge while held at the Foreigners’ used profanity on vari- Detention Centre (CIE) in ous occasions to Barcelona after reportedly describe same-sex mar- suffering a heart attack. ried couples, referred to The death follows recent single mothers as criticism of CIE centres in "whores", and used the Barcelona and Madrid from word “deceivers” to the courts and human rights describe immigrants who activists for not having the married Spanish partners necessary personnel on duty "just to get their to tend to emergencies. nationality".

Cont’ d on Next Page

RUSSIAN BUYERS ARE ONLY HOUSING HOPE RUSSIANS are keeping the Alicante housing market afloat as almost the only people buying houses in the province.

They are attracted by the warm weather, affordable prices, quality of life, and the services offered to first-time buyers.

They are also keen to live in Europe, and are being drawn to the coasts of France and Italy as well as Spain.

Russian buyers are generally young, in work, and with medium to high buying power. Many work online and are able to live wherever they please.

Favourite places for Russian buyers are Guardamar, Torrevieja and Orihuela Costa, all of which traffic are promoted in Russian real er few ed ort rep e hav few estate fairs. deaths in the past l that The first Russian buyers years. "It is only natura - arrived in the area in the evo e sam the s ow foll Spain in the nineties, and 3,000 have lution that is occurring rope since settled in Torrevieja. best countries in Eu esaf d roa to es They are now looking furcom it when ing ther afield for investment ty," Navarro said, add icult properties. Half of houses that it has been a diff d roa the p kee to ng sold to foreigners in the Vega task tryi Baja last year were sold to fatality rates down.

Russian citizens.

d a ro t h g ri e th n o is Safety

Spain Informacion TRAFFIC fatalities in the for d ppe dro 2011, r last yea on Spanish roads in ge Jor r iste Min eighth year in a row. rior er said Inte z, who also There were 250 few Día z nde rná Fe 2011 deaths on the road in the "magnificent vious applauded than during the pre ffic director Pere e in work" of tra year. And for the first tim o was appointwh ro, var Na ber of half a century, the num 4.

200 to a ed in l motoring fatalities fell Spain is one of severa 00.

1,5 ow figure bel countries that n ea rop Eu ths There were 1,479 dea

Tension grows with foreigner deaths and deportation

l

21

Friday, January 13, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Look sharp, it’s the British Legion THE Royal British Legion, Torrevieja Branch, have an action-packed programme swinging into action for 2012, starting with their Branch Meeting on Friday January 13, which takes place at Casa Ventura Restaurant, Calle Arbizu, San Luis, starting 7pm (19:00 hours) sharp.

Our chairman Gill - she who must be obeyed has wound the committee up and we are raring to go. Our vice chairman Graham is in a secret location in the UK, planning our assault on this year’s Poppy Appeal, our secretary Douglas is clerking away and our treasurer, Gerry, is busy in the Counting House.

Our entertainment and social duo, Taffy Dianne and Taffy Allan, have been planning lots of activities, meals and outings and, even as I write, our intrepid trio of Standard Bearers are busy practising on the drill square.

Not to be outdone, our own ‘Judge’ Judy has assembled a wide range of merchandising just waiting to be purchased and worn. Meanwhile, our Membership duo, Pauline and Joyce, have a stack of forms ready for all those potential new members.

So, we are all ready waiting for you, our members, potential members and interested parties.

So, come on down; meet the new committee (some old, some new) and join in the activities.

We have a dual purpose, partly social and partly to raise money for ex-service personnel (and their families) down on their luck. We are more than happy for you to try us out before you sign on.

If any of the above offends you, shame on me; if it interests you but you do nothing about it, shame on you. If you need further information, call me on 966 785 259.

DOUGLAS SIDWELL Branch Secretary

HOSPITAL BACKLOG HAS LEFT ME IN AGONY

I HAVE just read Amanda Black’s report (Edition 46, page 3) on the surgery backlog at Torrevieja Hospital.

Well, last May I fell and fractured my back and after lots of X-rays and treatHELP! My wife gave me for ment, which I cannot fault, was put in a Problem presXmas a Celestrom steel back brace for three-and-a-half ent: A Celestrom Astromaster telescope, months.

Astromaster telModel 70eq21062. In the By this time the vertebra had healed escope, Model instruction manual its quotes but I was still in a lot of pain.

70eqxxxxxxxxx ‘first time buyer, age 12 years On October 5, I had a TAC scan on my to old’. Well, I think I must be spine and on October 13 was told the past my use by date as I am results of the TAC showed I had L4 L5 unable to see anything out of damaged and leaking. it at all.

They said all paperwork was done and Is there anyone out there that the Hospital would phone me. I have who knows anything about been to the Hospital three times and this type of telescope? If so, again told that they would call me. could you please help me.

I am in so much pain that I am virtually DENNIS TAYLOR, housebound. All I want is a date.

Villamartin I have not even got to see anybody yet If anyone can assist in the Trauma-Cirugia Ortopedica Dennis in fulfilling his department from which I have the papervision, send an email to ediwork dated 13-10-11. tor@thecourier.es and we’ll My Interpreter phoned the Hospital for put you in touch with him. me on December 15 and was told I would have an appointment by the end of the year. I am writing this on January 6, 2012.

The pain is just getting me so down. I have had a course I WAS going to let Donna Gee have the last Creationism is a different matter. Creationists of injections to give my body word (Letters, Issue 46) but thought better of it! believe we were created in our present form by I agree that an eye does not just happen. The God and that Adam was the first man... even the a rest but they say I cannot have any more for six eye has evolved, it was not created by chance Anglican and Catholic churches believe in evomonths. I have painkillers but or created in its present form. It was not creat- lution! We need to believe in what is true, don't they do not seem to be doing ed at all but evolved from very simple forms. we? Even if it is unpalatable.

Eyes are not irreducibly complex.

PAT PHILLIPS the job any more.

Pat, the truth is as much a mystery to Some creatures have eyes that just detect I have now been waiting 62 EVERYONE as it is to me. It does sound like days - that is working days, light and dark. Just Google ‘evolution of the Monday to Friday. I just do eye’ and there is loads of stuff there... Richard you personally have given a big ‘eye’ to evolunot know how much longer I Dawkins did a child’s lecture about it which is tion, which is your prerogative. However, to me, nature is too beautiful and too well organised quite good. can cope with the pain. to be purely the product of evolution. - DONNA Faith is a personal issue but believing in WENDY HARRIS

l

ARGUMENT EVOLVES l

So many ways we can HELP

HELP VEGA BAJA’S offices in San Miguel de Salinas and Torrevieja provide a wide range of free information and advice.

Typical enquiries include questions on residencia, health care, cars, bereavement, wills and burglaries. Both offices are open Monday to Friday from 10.00am to 1.30pm. We also operate a 24 hour Emergency Help Line for urgent calls out of office hours on 965 704 282.

We run a diabetic support group once a month, where help and information is available for anyone with diabetes.

On Mondays between 2pm and 5.30pm, our Friendship Centre at Playa Flamenca is open.

It’s a popular meeting place for people who are housebound or feel isolated.

Our hospital visiting teams visit the Vega Baja and Torrevieja hospitals. Books and talking tapes are loaned to patients free of charge.

We have a wide range of orthopaedic equipment for hire from our San Miguel office.

Friends Unlimited, the social arm of Help Vega Baja, meets on Thursdays at The Club in Quesada between 2pm and 4pm.

For further information on HELP contact our offices in San Miguel on 966 723 733, Torrevieja on 965 704 282 or visit www.helpvegabaja.com CAROL BOYLE, HELP PR Officer

Spanish-born man ordered to leave country after crime From Page 20 The man began suffering from chest pains shortly before midnight on Thursday.

According to the Catalonia chief of police, officers immediately helped him and 15 minutes later a medical team arrived.

However, other sub-Saharans who witnessed the incident have claimed the man was not given medical care at the centre.

Police officers recently acknowledged that there are no medical personnel or interpreters on

duty at night.

In a third story highlighting difficulties surrounding Spain’s racial mix, a 28-year-old man born and raised in Spain is being threatened with deportation to a country he has never visited and barely heard of.

David Mifumu was born in Las Palmas in the Canary Islands. Raised in care, he was told his mother was Equatorial Guinean, but he remembers little about her. He has no recollection of his father.

After two criminal sanctions and eight months

in jail for selling hashish, Mifumu now faces deportation to Equatorial Guinea.

When he was only nine months old, social services in Las Palmas took Mifumu and his twin brother from the custody of their mother and sent them to a juvenile centre in Gran Canaria. By the time he turned 18, Mifumu was living in a tent in a park and later spent time living in a ravine.

He worked in construction and made social security payments for eight months, until he began selling hashish.

After being convicted of possessing one gram,

or five euros worth of hashish, he was sentenced to eight months in prison.

While in prison in Zaragoza, Mifumu was told a new order instructed all undocumented prisoners with crimes against the public be deported.

Now back in the Canaries, having served his time, he is fighting deportation.

The judge has granted a delay in proceedings until all options have been examined.

Mifumu is hoping to find out who his father is and locate his mother, said to be living in an old people’s home in Lanzarote.

22

Friday, January 13, 2012

23

Friday, January 13, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Sandra wanted to know why her computer had ADVICE: Tony had received a strange email about OpenOffice decided it wanted to communicate in Spainsh!

Q

My laptop is vista and I am on internet explorer and my homepage is Google. For some unexplained reason the language has changed from English to Spanish with the option of Catalan. I have tried internet options and everything seems to be set up for English. Can you help please?

A

Hi Sandra, I suspect that your problem has been caused by your home page (the page displayed when you first go into Internet Explorer) being changed to www.google.com - this would cause a Spanish version of the Google page to be displayed as your computer is in Spain. What we can do is change your home page to www.google.co.uk and this will then force an English page to be displayed. In order to do this just follow the steps below...

1. Launch Internet Explorer 2. Click Tools then click Internet Options (if you don’t see Tools, then just press and hold the ALT key and the menu bar will appear at the top of the page) 3. In the Home Page section you will see a website address - probably http://www.google.com just change this to be http://www.google.co.uk 4. Click the OK button 5. Close down Internet Explorer ...the next time you open up Internet Explorer the page will be displayed in English, hope this helps.

Update: Many thanks. It worked! p.s. "Happy New Year"

ADVICE: Denise wanted to know how to clean her laptop safely.

Q A

Hello Richard, the question is!!!! What do you use to clean the screens on laptops etc? Regards, Denise

It’s a good question Denise, I have always used a soft cloth and of course made sure that the laptop doesn’t get any liquid on it and that it’s only cleaned when turned off.

I have done a bit of research for you and found a great guide on the ebay.co.uk site courtesy of which-laptop.com, it covers the subject in a good amount of detail, here is the link http://tinyurl.com/CleanLaptopScreen

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hi Richard, My wife and I have each received this email. Is it genuine? Best wishes for a healthy new year. Tony

Q

Extract of the email…

Subject: Holiday Special - Upgrade Your Open Office 2012 Version of Open Office - Your Complete Office Solution This complete All-in-One Office Suite contains all that is needed for a productive day at the office from word processing, spreadsheets, presentations to graphics, databases and more.

Holiday Special Code: 1419 Maximize Your Office Efficiency Today With the leading Office Software Suite, enjoy features like: - Create and export PDF files - Improved and advanced options for MS Office - Edit Excel, Word & Power Point documents Available in many languages and works on all major operating systems.

Holiday Special Code: 1419 Make Your Documents the Best They Can Be Thank you for choosing us; the worldwide leader in Office solutions.

A

Hi Tony, it's an email trying to sell you something that you can get for free.

OpenOffice is a free product and the latest version is 3.3, not 2012, however these people seem to be trying to sell you it (or an equivalent of it) for €9.49 a year - quite cheap but not necessary as you can download Open Office for free from www.openoffice.org

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

24

Friday, January 13, 2012

BIG WHEELS: Lyn’s limo partygets ready to roll

MMM - a Bavarian Oompah festival!

HELP Murcia Mar Menor is holding an Oompah Party next Saturday (January 21) from 1.30pm onwards at Don Lorenzo Restaurante in Los Urrutias.

Tickets are €12 which includes a meal, Bavarian music and singing of rousing songs.

Th year 2012 is Help MMM’s 10th anniversary and this is the first of many events to celebrate a decade of giving help and assistance to countless people in the Murcia region.

Tickets are available from Joan Mitchell on 868 185685 or 678 135457, or Janice Clarke on 968 134355. Directions on the Event Calendar at helpmurciamarmenor.org 2012 is Help MMM’s 10th anniversary and there will be many events to celebrate our ten years of giving help and assistance to countless people in the Murcia region.

Events in the near future include: January 10 - everyone is welcome to attend HELP’s general meeting in the hall at Las Claras, Los Alcazares at 12noon.

January 20 - Friendship Group meets at Café Golf for Christmas lunch, which is free for members of the group.

We meet there every last Friday in the month.

January 21- Oompah Party at Don Lorenzo restaurant in Los Urrutias (1.30pm).

There will be German food, Oompah music and the singing of rousing songs.

Tickets are €12 each.

February 14 -general meeting, Las Claras, Los Alcazares (12noon).

LIMO SCENE IS PERFECT CURE

MABS director Lyn Baines hatched a plan with a wheel difference to ease the pain of cancer patients and their carers in the Murcia region.

Graham Mykal (above) - and The North and South, venue for The Fabulous Fun Factor on Jan 25

NURSES CONJURE UP FUN EVENINGS OUT

MAGICIAN Graeme Mykal returns to The Indian Ocean in Doña Pepa on January 22 for a second magic night in aid of Paul Cunningham Nurses.

While diners feast on a sumptuous Indian meal, Graeme will entertain and amaze with his table magic tricks.There will also be a chance to win some great prizes with a game of Play Your Cards Right. The evening starts at 7pm and costs just €12.

A second fun Paul Cunningham Nurses event is planned for January 25 at the North & South at La Marquesa Golf, Quesada.

This Fabulous Fun Factor evening brings you entertainment from Richie and two delicious courses for only €8.50.

JUKEBOX Promotions will Paul Cunningham Nurses continue to help raise promise a warm welcome Funds for Help at Home from George, Glyn and all (Costa Blanca) in 2012 the staff at the restaurant, Following last year’s where North really does meet successful fundraising for South. Dancing will be the charity, tour events encouraged and a Scottish to with different themes have English translator provided! been arranged monthly Fab prizes are up for grabs between February and Broadway & Hollywood, at a charity auction and raffle November and at every Buddy's in Town, Chas & on the night. show, money will be ‘Dave’ (Chas Hodges with Tickets for either event can donated to HaH. Dave Seccombe), Ricky be booked by email at Shows lined up for 2012 Valance specials, Elvis & sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk include King & Country, Shakin’ Stevens tribute, or by calling 676 038 601.

Karen Carpenter tribute , 60s & 70s spectacular,

She arranged a special outing for Eddie, Monica, Val and Malcolm - an hour’s ride in a luxury limousine complete with cava and canapé.

MABS translator Elvira and her husband, Steve, were also invited along to the event, which was sponsored by Tuxedo Limousines of Mazarrón.

Lyn enthused: “Elvira is so passionate about helping our cancer patients that nothing is too much trouble for her or for Steve, who does all the driving to and from various hospitals.

“They work so hard throughout the year to ensure that each of our patients and their partners receive the best attention possible and understand what’s happening throughout the treatment.”

Another ‘MABS VIP’, Care Co-ordinator Jill Chorley, was also included in the party.

Jill is on call 24/7, heading up a dedicated care team that provides help and support to everyone affected by cancer in the Murcia region.

“We are so lucky to have such great volunteers,” said Lyn. “Jill goes beyond the call of duty every day and our patients insisted that she had some fun with them for a change.”

The chauffeur, Lord Christopher Vaughan Powney, took his special guests on a tour of San Javier and San Pedro del Pinatar, before returning them to the MABS Centre in San Javier. “It’s always a pleasure to help MABS and today has been particularly rewarding for us,” he said.

MABS Murcia is a registered charity (No. 7261) offering help and support to local people diagnosed with or being treated for cancer.

For confidential help or supCliff & Elvis, Dusty port, call their HELPLINE on Springfield & Tina Turner 693 275 779 or visit www.mabsmurcia.com tribute.

As MABS grows they are Jukebox Promotions are also negotiating with a top constantly in need of more International singer from volunteers. There are now Ireland and two other top four main branches and sevacts. "Things are difficult eral area offices of the charity this year," says Peter Day in areas from Valencia to of Jukebox Promotions Gibraltar. All need volun(pictured). "We have a pro- teers - supporters, drivers, gramme in place but it translators, fundraisers and, may change a little as indeed, people who can ‘just everyone is so unsure be a buddy’ and pop in for a about the general eco- cuppa, do a bit of shopping nomic climate.’’ or just be there to listen.

Jukebox charity tune hits a note of renewed support

Friday, January 13, 2012

25

We two kings of Torremendo are..

THE Three Kings from Torremendo visited the children of Entre Naranjos and Laguna Green urbanisations last Thursday - but there were only two of them.

With the third King indisposed, two Kings arrived with a host of goodies including a trailer full of toys and sweets and joined in the celebrations with up to 20 children and at least 70 adults on the Entre Naranjos green area.

Organised by the newly established Fiesta Committee for Entre Naranjos and Laguna Green, the afternoon had the feel of a children’s party. Enhanced by the strong winter sun-

shine, the children really enjoyed themselves and the occasion was generally considered to be a great success.

Feedback from the community has been extremely positive, sparking suggestions that this should become an annual event.

This was the second event over Christmas organised by the Fiesta Committee and it is hoped that that the Communal Carol Singing and the Kings’ visit will become embedded in the Christmas traditions of Entre Naranjos and Laguna Green.

The Fiesta Committee would like to thank their neighbours in Torremendo

The Mayor the merrier

sé Manuel Butrón s Montesinos, Jo Lo of r yo Ma e Th with a visit to the d in the New Year with Andrew Sanchez, welcome re he He’s pictured . re ua sq e lag vil the arrival of 2012 Atkinson toasting

for their generosity, support and kindness in recognising their children at this time of the year and also to thank Sebastian Andreu, the Torremendo District Mayor, for supporting their work and whose idea it was to bring the Kings. t.

Now that it is 2012, the Fiesta Committee is turning its attention to planning for the Entre Naranjos and Laguna Green Community Fiesta to be held over July 27 and 28.

The Committee meets every Wednesday from 10am to 12 noon at the Vistabella Restaurante, Vistabella. The meetings are open.

K squad: The Kings and the kids

Ray-sing the roof - a Grand reprise

Derek and daughter entertain

By ANDREW ATKINSON IT'S turned out Grand again for Derek and Jenni Ray - owners of Casa La Pedrega - famous for being featured on the TV show Grand Designs Abroad.

"We bought the land in Spain in 2000 and the Grand Designs crew began filming four years later," Derek recalls.

He and wife Jenni hosted an evening of Christmas Carols by Candlelight, where 60 people were entertained by a singer/guitarist, Derek on flute, the eldest of the Rays’ daughters on piano, and the other two dancing.

"The music gene is from Derek - the dancing gene is from me. The girls moved a few people to tears. So that was quite special," added Jenni.

Casa La Pedrega has been seen world-wide thanks to Grand Designs Abroad, fronted by Kevin McCloud, being broadcast in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Russia and Britain.

Situated in Torremendo, Here in Spain the Lions have their own Casa La Pedrega overdedicated recycling plant near Alicante looks a lake, bordering on which annually receives, cleans, grades the protected reserve of the and redistributes around 100,000 pairs of Pedrega Reservoir, near to Los Montesinos and San spectacles.

But more are needed urgently and the Miguel in the Vega Baja.

Last weekend (Jan 8) Lions would like local people to leave saw Jenni and Derek host their used spectacles at Specsavers in underprivileged kids and Torrevieja for collection.

Said a spokesman: “Everyone who their families from ASILA for wears glasses has probably got an old their annual Christmas pair or more lying in a drawer ‘just in case Party.

Over a decade since they may need them’. moving to Spain from “Irrespective of condition, age or style, even if they are Edna Everage style, the London after years in South Lions can recycle them, so please bring Africa, Derek and Jenni all your old specs to Specsavers this have raised thousands of month.’’ Funds raised will be donated to pounds for charities in Spain. the Lions’ local charity efforts.

Thumbs-up for Wanted, specs - even market bus of the Everage kind

PLAYA Flamenca Town Hall’s pilot Tuesday bus service between Orihuela Costa and the town centre has been so successful that it has been included is the council budget for 2012.

The Department of Transport reported this week that the first three months of the project “has shown that there is a demand for this route and that residents and visitors of Orihuela Costa use the offer to reach the town centre for their visits, or the weekly market, make the necessary trips to the tax office or the social security without parking problems etc. “Also the residents of

Entrenaranjos are using the service frequently.’’

Th report added: “Where initially only a small bus was planned, Costazul did carry out the weekly trip with a big bus which at times has been nearly full’’.

With the Tuesday market continuing to be held in the same location, the bus stops will remain the the same this year.

Bookings for the Tuesday bus can be made by calling 966 760 000, ext. 31 or 32, also by email to touristinfo_orihuelap@gva.e s, or personally at the Tourist Office in the Playa Flamenca town hall.

SPECSAVERS and the Costa Lions Club have their sights on a joint fundraising coup in Torrevieja.

Specsavers Torrevieja are holding an Open Day on Thursday January 26, starting at 10am. The highly trained professional staff will be on hand to provide all sorts of information on eye care and keeping your eyes healthy. The Torrrevieja Lions will also be there.

In addition to the professional aspect there will also be entertainment with drinks, prize draws, fun events and good music provided by Sunshine FM and their outside broadcast team.

Lions Clubs International have a commitment worldwide to provide aid and support to countries where eye care provision is either limited or non-existent.

26

Friday, January 13, 2012

Extreme Weight Loss for Those Over 40

Extreme weight loss techniques are so popular that individuals of all ages are choosing to lose excess weight with it. The objective of extreme weight loss is to shed off pounds rapidly and techniques for extreme weight loss are risky when incorrectly chosen and executed. To avoid risk and injury, you should know that the techniques for extreme weight loss vary and depend on different factors.

When choosing the right extreme weight loss technique, factors which are commonly considered are age, body mass and health condition. There’s no such thing as a one-size fits all technique. Finding the right technique can be especially tricky when you’re over 40. What safely works for younger people can be extremely dangerous for individuals of this age.

As people grow older, losing weight with the wrong technique or method is ineffective and dangerous. This is due to the changes that occur in the body—slowdown of metabolic rate, hormonal imbalance, food cravings and more. But don’t fret. Extreme weight loss is still possible for those over 40.

Understanding the body and using natural techniques are the safest and highly recommended weight loss method for this age.

Check out these safe and natural techniques for extreme weight loss.

Know your body The first step in losing weight when you’re over 40 is to get to know your body all over again because it works differently when you’ve reached this age. In this point in life, the body’s ability to breakdown food and burn calories are much slower.

Women over 40 usually gain weight because of a slower metabolic rate which is why you’re sure to pack on a few extra pounds. So how do you lose weight with a slow metabolic rate? Here are a few techniques.

• Get physical with a regular exercise routine and some weightlifting. These activities boost metabolic rate and are good for the cardio-respiratory system.

• Adjust and adopt eating habits that are right for your age.

Eat breakfast and don’t skip meals. Individuals over 40 usually experience food cravings, so instead of eating 3 meals a day, go for 5 smaller ones.

• Incorporate soy in your diet. Soy protein is known to increase the body’s fat-burning rate. Foods that are rich in soy are tofu, soy milk, soy sauce and miso soup.

Understand your body’s needs After getting to know the changes in your body, the next step is to understand your body’s needs. When it comes to losing weight, the most common mistake that people make is thinking that not eating anything at all or skipping meals is the most effective way to shed off pounds. But the truth is you tend to gain more by skipping meals.

An irregular eating habit such as skipping meals causes blood sugar levels to drop and your body loses energy.

When this happens, your body will crave for food, especially

carbohydrate-rich foods, because it needs to replenish energy. The key here is, to eat meals at the right time in moderation.

Aside from an irregular eating habit, food cravings are also caused by hormonal imbalance and stress. Here are some ways to deal with food cravings caused by these factors.

• Avoid a stressful lifestyle.

• Think positive and enjoy life as it is. Stress, anxiety and depression usually cause women (no matter what age) to indulge in the foods they crave. Young women can get away with it, but women over 40 are sure to gain the weight and get stuck with it.

• Consult a doctor for supplements that can help correct and alleviate the effects of hormonal imbalance such as appetite suppressants, progesterone cream and L-carnitine supplements.

• Drink plenty of water and choose healthier substitutes for the foods that you crave.

Be aware of your calorie intake Apart from adjusting and adopting a proper eating habit for your age, you should be aware of your calorie intake. Or better yet, adopt a very low calorie diet. There are plenty of very low calories but are nutritient dense foods such as fruits, vegetables and fish meat. These foods are great for cutting calories and perfect for supplying your body with essential vitamins and minerals.

Eat lots of fibre-rich foods You can also lose weight by eating lots of fibre-rich foods.

Aside from regulating bowel movement, fiber-rich foods help you lose weight in the following ways—it slows down the digestive process making you feel full a little longer, reduces the risk of heart disease and diabetes by lowering blood cholesterol and insulin levels.

Some foods that are great sources of fibre are oats, coconut, fruits such as strawberries, pears, apples, vegetables such as spinach and kale, nuts such as pistachios, peanuts and Brazil nuts, and dried beans and peas.

Get enough sleep Another natural and safe way to lose weight when you’re over 40 is to get enough sleep. Studies show that the body is on its fat-burning mode while you’re in dreamland. It’s also a safe way to lose weight because getting at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep also helps you avoid feeling hungry at night.

Individuals who don’t get enough “ZZZs” give in to their cravings and are usually overweight. Getting enough hours of sleep isn’t only great for losing weight but it helps you achieve a state of overall wellness.

As a recap, individuals who are over 40 can shed excess weight through natural and safe techniques of extreme weight loss. These techniques include knowing and understanding your body and giving it what it needs, counting your calories, eating fibre-rich foods and getting enough sleep.

These methods are sure to make you feel and look great even as you grow older.

Pinkeye (Conjunctivitis) Fast Facts

Pinkeye's proper name is conjunctivitis. It is an inflammation of the conjunctiva, which is the clear membrane that covers the white of the eye.

There are several types of pinkeye.

They include infectious pinkeye, allergic pinkeye, neonatal pinkeye and irritant pinkeye.

HIP JOINT PAIN

Hip pain is a common complaint that can be caused by a wide variety of problems. It is a common joint pain in the elderly. As one of the most mobile joint in the body and bearing the entire weight of the upper body along with additional strain with impact like running, the hip joint is prone to various problems. Pain can therefore be an indicator of many underlying diseases. The hip joint is the point where the femur (thigh bone) articulates with the pelvic bone. The hip joint is a ball and socket synovial joint. The head of the femur is the “ball” while the acetabulum of the pelvis is the cup-like surface that serves as the “socket”. It is somewhat similar to the shoulder joint although it is much more stable given the deeper socket.

Hip fractures are a major and serious cause of sudden hip pain. Hip fractures become more common as people age because falls are more likely and bones become thinner. Pain can arise from structures that are within the hip joint or from structures surrounding the hip. The hip joint is a potential space, meaning that there is a minimal amount of fluid inside it to allow the femoral head to glide in the socket of the acetabulum. Any illness or injury that causes inflammation will cause this space to fill with fluid or blood, which stretches the hip capsule and results in pain.

Movement at the hip joint is possible due to the muscles that surround the hip and their tendons that attach across the hip joint, allowing motion in different directions. Aside from controlling movement, these muscles act in concert to maintain joint stability. There are large bursas (closed fluid-filled sacs) that surround areas of the hip and allow the muscles and tendons to glide more easily over bony prominences.

Infectious pinkeye is caused by bacteria or a virus.

Allergic pinkeye is caused by allergies and is more prevalent in children. Ragweed is the number one allergen that causes this type of pinkeye.

Irritant pinkeye is caused by chemicals such as cigarette smoke, diesel

fumes, soap, pollutants and chlorine.

All types of pinkeye are contagious and don't let anyone tell you differently. Pinkeye can spread from one child to another or from one eye to another. All it takes is one touch.

Pinkeye can be prevented by not touching the eye and by frequent washing of hands.

Any of these structures can become inflamed. Pain from other sources can be referred to the hip, meaning that while the hip hurts, the problem may potentially originate elsewhere. Inflammation of the sciatic nerve as it arises from the spinal cord in the back can cause hip pain. Other types of nerve inflammation may manifest as hip pain, including pain arising in the nerve of the thigh, which is often inflamed in pregnancy. Pain from an inguinal hernia may also cause pain that is felt in the hip.

The treatment of hip pain depends upon the diagnosis and any underlying illness that may be present.

Hip pain and soreness that develop because of overuse but without any specific injury may be cared for at home with rest and gradual return to full activity.

While rest is important, it is also important to maintain range of motion, meaning that attempts should be made to stretch the leg, hip, and back and keep the whole body moving. The body is a machine that needs to be well looked after over a lifetime. By maintaining a normal body weight and avoiding obesity, eating a healthy diet to build strong bones, and by exercising routinely to preserve normal range of motion of the hip, problems with the hip can be avoided.

Dr Machi Mannu is a Neuro-repatterning Specialist.

For queries, send your email to contact@mindspa.es

Friday, January 13, 2012

27

28

Friday, January 13, 2012

TOP GEAR STUNTS THAT WENT WRONG Airship goes off course We kick off our Top Gear stunts that went wrong compendium with James May, aka Captain Slow, who was involved in a dramatic airship crash. The stunt saw May, in a caravan suspended by a balloon, racing fellow Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond in a Lamborghini.

Clarkson drove the lorry (an older version of the Renault one pictured) through a brick wall at 56mph, which resulted in heavy bruising to his shin and back and an index finger that looked like a 'burst sausage'. He described the head-on crash as his first serious road accident in 31 years.

May - a qualified pilot - was attempting to land on a cricket pitch when a gust of wind blew him off course and into some trees.

May and his film crew escaped unhurt, but didn't escape the cameras in the helicopter which caught all the action.

Clarkson drives truck through brick wall

It wasn't four wheels that caused the problems in this stunt, more like 18 wheels, as Jeremy Clarkson and the team were investigating how much lorry you get for ÂŁ5,000.

One of the challenges involved the gang driving their lorry through a stationary object, with Clarkson driving through a brick wall.

jet-powered dragster. The Hamster was filming at Elvington airfield when his Vampire dragster blew a tyre, veered off the runway, flipped over several times and came to a halt on the grass.

He was airlifted to Leeds General Infirmary where he was treated for swelling of the brain and bruising, and where he stayed for five weeks. It was reported that Hammond was travelling at around 298mph when the tyre blew.

to strap it to a rocket and launch it towards the heavens, then after several thousand feet it would detatch before gliding back to Earth via remote control. What could possibly go wrong?

All seemed to be going well until the Reliant had to release from the rocket, and despite rapid pressing of the detach button, the two failed to separate. Instead, they plummeted to Earth resulting in a spectacular explosion.

More from Richard Hammond, though not

It's not just presenters who get up to mischief on the Top Gear test track. The celebrities who take part in the 'Star in the Reasonably Priced Car' get into just as much trouble too. The most impressive celebrity misdemeanor comes from American singer Lionel Richie.

Hammond rolls mini-van

Hammond cheats death in dragster

Lionel Richie - Star in a car

There's no doubt when it comes to close calls they don't get much closer than Richard Hammond's brush with death in a quite as serious this time. His next motoring indiscretion took place behind the wheel of a Suzuki Super Carry during filming of the ÂŁ1,000 van man challenge. Each of the presenters were told to do a lap of the Top Gear track while being chased by Sgt Stig in a Vauxhall Astra police car.

All seemed to be going well until the Hamster overcooked it into the first bend, trying a bit of a Scandanavian flick, which didn't work, and toppling the van over onto its side. Hammond escaped unhurt.

Hammond crashes racing car

You'd have thought he'd have learned by now, but Richard Hammond makes a third appearance in this collection of Top Gear out-takes, this time during the Britcar 24hour endurance race at the Silverstone racetrack.

While racing their modified BMW 3 Series, the Hamster misjudged an overtaking Mosler virtually writing it off, along with the team's chances of finishing the race. The pit crew, however, performed a miracle to get the diesel 3 Series running again. Despite the accident it finished the race with Clarkson at the helm.

While doing his power lap in the Suzuki Liana, one of his front wheels came off causing him to skid off the track with sparks flying everywhere. And it wasn't just Mr Richie who turned his car into a three-wheeler. Waking the Dead star Trevor Eve also lost a wheel in dramatic fashion while Starsky and Hutch star David Soul managed to destroy the gearbox on both Suzuki Lianas.

Limo causes carnage in London

Normally the Top Gear team cause carnage on a private track, however, for the 'limo challenge' it was London that was brought into chaos. Clarkson, May and Hammond had to create three stretched limos from old bangers, then take one celebrity each to an award ceremony at Earls Court.

Reliant rocket goes off course

Clarkson brought south-west London to a standstill in his stretched Fiat Panda, which struggled to negotiate junctions and roundabouts. But the best was yet to come as the welding gave way causing the Panda to split in two and forcing it to drive on its front wheels.

For our next 'date with disaster' Richard Hammond and James May joined forces to turn a Reliant Robin into a space shuttle.

Once the Robin was modified, the plan was

Some say the Stig is just a man and that even he gets it wrong sometimes. Here's a perfect example. While doing a power lap of the Top Gear track, the Stig lost control of the 259mph Koenigsegg CCX on a highspeed bend and was launched into a tyre wall.

The lack of a rear spoiler was blamed and Koenigsegg promised to fit one and send it out for another lap. Nicknamed 'The CCX with the Top Gear Wing', it put in a time almost three seconds quicker than the unmodified version, placing it in third position on the Top Gear Power Board, where it remains today.

Stig bends Koenigsegg

29

Friday, January 13, 2012

Costly result of sat-nav mistakes TRANSPORT minister Norman Baker hopes a government summit on satnav problems will help put an end to the misery caused when drivers follow out-of-date or incorrect directions.

Delegates will try to find solutions to satnav mistakes that can lead to often outlandish, but sometimes tragic consequences, some examples of which are listed below: September 2009: A driver whose car was left teetering on the edge of a 100ft cliff after following his satnav was ordered to pay nearly ÂŁ900 for driving without due care and attention.

Robert Jones, 43, nearly plunged down the cliff in his BMW after obeying instructions which sent him along a steep, narrow path, in Todmorden, West Yorkshire in March 2009.

June 2009: A 79-year old retired banker was taken the wrong way to hospital through country lanes twice by ambulance crews, due to faulty satnav devices.

The "anomaly" in the system led to Leslie Palmer enduring a 45-minute trip to accident & emergency at Royal Hampshire County Hospital both times when it should only have taken 20 minutes.

But separate ambulance crews in separate vehicles told his wife of 55 years, Jean, that they had to use satnav as that was the rule.

September 2008: A crematorium boss saw four funerals disrupted in one afternoon by lorries sent the wrong way due to out-of-date satnav information.

Marjorie Joplin said the HGVs caused "absolute chaos" after being directed down a lane to Llanelli Crematorium, in

Hampton Court Palace were instead driven around for five hours in traffic after the driver using satnav ended up at Hampton Court, in Islington, north London.

The children, aged around eight and from Orchard Lea Junior School in Fareham, Hampshire, never got to visit the attraction that day after a teacher called a halt to the trip.

Slow Down

west Wales.

April 2008: A minibus owned by a taxi firm called Streamline was left stranded after a satellite navigation system guided it into a river.

The driver was on his way to collect a fare in Castle Acre, near King's Lynn, Norfolk, when he took a wrong turn into the River Nar. March 2008: A taxi satnav blunder left the Chelsea-supporting daughter of Earl Spencer disappointed after she was dropped off at the wrong Stamford Bridge.

After being picked up from the Earl's Althorp estate near Northampton, the teenager found herself in a remote village near York, more than 200 miles away from the Blues' home.

December 2007: Office workers on a Christmas shopping trip to France were taken to the wrong country after a satnav error diverted their coach seven hours off course.

Instead of arriving in the French city of Lille, 50 members of Cheltenham and Gloucester sports and social club were diverted 98 miles away to a village, of the same name, in Belgium, leaving them only two hours to shop after the driver corrected his mistake.

March 2007: A coachload of schoolchildren due to visit

Andy Jones decided to put into practice the idea of slowing down motorists with an eye catching statement. Mr Jones of Littledean, Gloucestershire, England decided to use a manikin model instead of a written sign. What makes this more complicated and more interesting is that Mr Jones owns a crime museum, and his model is 'Miss Whiplash'.

She certainly turns heads.

Councillor Bernie Giles takes the view that 'Miss Whiplash' is not necessary, and other believe that she may cause more accidents than she prevents.

The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying: Slow down Old People's Home. - It had no effect. At the next meeting they decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign: Danger - Children at Play. The result was no discernable reduction in traffic speed. Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with:Nudist Colony. - As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, white vans and lorries crawl thought the village.

30

Friday,December January 13, Friday, 16,2012 2011

REBAJAS!!

ZARA

WAS 25.95 NOW 17.99

WAS 25.95 NOW 17.99

Milan Menswear Fashion Week kicks off January 14 and runs through January 17, welcoming some of the world's biggest fashion houses including Dolce & Gabbana, Emporio Armani and Gucci. Ladies haven't been forgotten though, as Rio Fashion Week launches January 10 and Hong Kong and Berlin will be showcasing the latest women's ready-to-wear this month.

WAS 59.95 NOW 29.99

WAS 25.95 NOW 17.99

Louis Vuitton has collaborated with Yayoi Kusama on a series of products including leather goods, ready-to-wear, accessories, shoes, watches and jewellery.

WWD reports the French fashion house's artistic director Marc Jacobs worked with the Japanese artist on the range, which hits Louis Vuitton boutiques early July.

The artist is best known for her interest in polka dots, which she has famously applied to tree trunks, entire rooms and even people.

WAS 45.95 NOW 29.99

BLANCO WAS 35.99 NOW 17.99

THE LATEST FASHION HEADLINES

WAS 25.99 NOW 12.99

WAS 22.99 NOW 11.49

WAS 25.99 NOW 12.99

WAS 19.99 NOW 9.99

Marc Jacobs has firmly closed the lid on the past rumors of a move to Christian Dior, explaining he still has "so much more to do" at Louis Vuitton.

Speaking to British newspaper The Telegraph January 9, Jacobs readdressed past reports he would be replacing former head designer John Galliano at Dior, after the latter was dismissed in March 2011 following his arrest at a Paris bar for racist and anti-Semitic behaviour.

STRADIVARIUS

WAS 22.95 NOW 12.99 WAS 39.95 NOW 19.99

WAS 29.95 NOW 17.99

WAS 59.95 NOW 39.99

Fashion label Tracy Reese has revealed big expansion plans, including a "more interactive" ecommerce site and more accessories offerings.

Reese's eponymous label, as well as Plenty by Tracy Reese and Frock! by Tracy Reese, all come under T.R. Designs

WAS 35.95 NOW 17.99

Question Dear Freya, I have been on a diet for the last 3 months and lost quiet a bit of weight, but I am still not at my ideal weight. My old clothes are starting to look baggy on me but I don’t want to start spending money on new clothes as I would really like to lose some more weight! What can I do to sort this problem?

Thanks, Pauline, Gran Alacant

Answer Hi Pauline, Firstly well done for losing so much weight! I hope you are able to make it to your ideal weight. In the meantime though what I can suggest is getting all your old “baggy” clothes out and seeing if you could get someone to take them in. Most people don’t charge a lot. Also have a look in the sales and just buy the “basics” (a few t shirts, a pair of jeans, etc.)

Good luck with the diet!

Freya

Moschino's Cheap And Chic label will be making its London Fashion Week debut next month, in a bid to create a "stronger, more autonomous personality" for the brand.

Italian fashion house Moschino's sister line is the latest debut addition to the London Fashion Week schedule, following previous announcements from labels including Alexander McQueen's diffusion line McQ that they would be showing in London for the first time.

GOT A FASHION PROBLEM YOU CAN’T FIX? Maybe you have got a big event coming up and don’t know what to wear. Or you have recently lost a lot of weight and are not sure what clothes you can now wear Email all your problems to Freya at office@thecourier.es

If you’ve got a problem, Freya can fix it!

31

Friday, January 13, 2012

TKOfmWELCOMES NICK PRICE Saturday & Sunday 12.00pm - 3.00pm

Wednesday Night’s 8.00pm - 11.00pm

Join Nick every Saturday & Sunday from midday for 3 hours of entertainment including the Birthday game, test you IQ & he will also be rummaging through the trash cans of the rich & famous.

Also with his electric mix of classic hits and todays best music.

DON’T MISS OUT!!

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ January 13

Join Nick for 3 hours for non stop 90’s hits and headlines. He checks out the decade that gave us Farther Ted, Mrs. Merton, Mr Blobby & Neat Toys.

Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm.

1. The Avengers teamed up for this very camp 60s song.

2. This Old Heart Of Mine was a Motown hit for this group.

3. A Carl Perkins rock-a-billy belter covered by the Beatles.

4. Cathys Clown was the first hit for this record label.

5. Where did the Small Faces get high and feed the ducks with a bun.

6. He walked on the Wild Side & had a Perfect Day. 7. Elvis, Cat Stevens & Florence & The Machine all sang about this domesticated beast.

8. Keith, Greg, Carl...name the group.

32

Friday, January 13, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 15 represents B and 23 represents F, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Own (7) 5 Divide (5) 8 Devalue (7) 9 Pertaining to birds (5) 10 Small fatty European fish (5) 11 Salad ingredient (7) 12 Every time (6) 14 Greek capital (6) 17 Operating physician (7) 19 Totted up (5) 22 Be alive (5) 23 Set free (7) 24 Moisture (5) 25 Maybe (7)

Down 1 Treaties (5) 2 Curse (5) 3 Emotional understanding (7) 4 Unmarried (6) 5 Part of a mine (5) 6 Spare time (7) 7 Moves through by digging (7) 12 Inflammation (7) 13 Experienced battler (7) 15 Fishing boat (7) 16 Open a gift (6) 18 Item inserted in a written record (5) 20 Roman goddess of the hunt and the moon (5) 21 Put clothes on (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Bistro, 4 Daring, 9 Startle, 10 Reign, 11 Issue, 12 Cascade, 13 Westminster, 18 Asphalt, 20 Evade, 22 Track, 23 Outrage, 24 Minder, 25 France.

Down: 1 Bosnia, 2 Seams, 3 Retreat, 5 Arras, 6 Imitate, 7 Ginger, 8 Description, 14 Explain, 15 Shelter, 16 Bantam, 17 Delete, 19 Ankle, 21 Again.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Doctor Hampshire did not include her accident (6) 4 Blames cold pelts (6) 9 South Mediterranean peninsula? No, it's in Russia (7) 10 Part of stair is erect (5) 11 Greek goddess confused Ernie (5) 12 Clan yard initially cordoned off by a short length of rope (7) 13 Don sends Dad fresh leftovers (4,3,4) 18 Shape can go to pieces (7) 20 Lad in key note clearing (5) 22 Such an uplifting bird (5) 23 Nobleman with award for part of listener (7) 24 Scored a goal during internet tedium (6) 25 Bookworm begins the Roman Emperor's adventures, detailing every raid (6)

Down 1 Outcast from central Germany is in good condition (6) 2 Weapon seen in some circles as a breakthrough (5) 3 Serials rearranged lack atmosphere (7) 5 The woman atop the bird (5) 6 Use band-aids without a split (7) 7 Good man went by bike or by foot (6) 8 A leg flannel perhaps for Lucifer (6,5) 14 Takeaway of French pamphlet (7) 15 Devastated, enraged, get ready (2,5) 16 Bright bird who can play at that game, soundly (6) 17 Never point haphazardly at a thin coating (6) 19 Birds begin getting easy extramarital sex eventually (5) 21 Get away from a vacuum (5)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Nonconformist (6) 2 Fencing sword (5) 3 Unventilated (7) 5 Wading bird (5) 6 Break up (7) 7 Walked (6) 8 Devil (6,5) 14 Diminish (7) 15 In a defensive stance (2,5) 16 Brightly coloured bird (6) 17 Façade (6) 19 Long-necked birds (5) 21 Stay away from (5)

Across 1 Ill fortune (6) 4 Scolds (6) 9 Region of Russia (7) 10 Upright portion of a step (5) 11 Female name derived from Greek for 'peace' (5) 12 Short rope (7) 13 Motley assortment of things (4,3,4) 18 Eight-sided polygon (7) 20 Clearing (5) 22 Derrick (5) 23 Part of hearing organ (7) 24 Meshed (6) 25 Literate person (6)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Hatred, 4 Lager, 8 Nurse, 9 Pistons, 10 Elector, 11 Dear, 12 Aga, 14 Coma, 15 Sees, 18 Lip, 21 Afar, 23 Acetate, 25 Isobars, 26 Snipe, 27 Mates, 28 Fringe.

Down: 1 Hanker, 2 Torpedo, 3 Eventual, 4/6 Last resort, 5 Gnome, 7 Opera, 13 Assessor, 16 Evasion, 17 Barium, 19 Pause, 20 Serene, 22 About, 24 Bars.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Sap Ace Set Are Tan Awe 4 letter words Cab Abet Cat Akin Dim Apse Era Away Eye Beta Ire Cite Lee Date Let Dote Owl Glen Pad Hoot Pie Lace Red Lama Rye Lees Sag Malt

Mane Omit Onto Opal Oral Pace Peat Pure Saga Sear Slab Such Take Toed Trio Urns User Wine

5 letter words Asset Motel Onset Piton Sales Stout 6 letter words Eyelet Iguana Manila Stones 8 letter words Detested Disaster Mediator Tropical

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Toad (4) 3 Bautismos (8) 9 Poppy (7) 10 Flood (5) 11 Dejar (poner, soltar) (5) 12 Tournament (6) 14 Places (6) 16 Vela (de cera) (6) 19 Native land (6) 21 Águila (ave) (5) 24 Lila (5) 25 Environment (surroundings) (7) 26 Tan pronto como (2,4,2) 27 Ass (donkey) (4)

Down 1 El más pequeño (8) 2 Silver (metal) (5) 4 Lover (6) 5 To throw (ball, stone) (5) 6 Alga (7) 7 Chasquido (de dedos) (4) 8 Ninth (6) 13 Telephone (8) 15 Towels (for body) (7) 17 Oil (6) 18 Head (part of body) (6) 20 Dew (5) 22 Chicas (jóvenes) (5) 23 Pulga (insecto) (4)

33

Friday, January 13, 2012 Across 1 Which porous black solid, consisting of an amorphous form of carbon, is obtained as a residue when wood, bone, or other organic matter is heated in the absence of air? (8) 7 Which singing voice between baritone and alto is the highest of the ordinary adult male range? (5) 8 Which Australian-born actor starred as Mitch Brenner in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 film The Birds? (3,6) 9 What name is given to a structure with equipment for drilling an oil well? (3) 10 Which wild goat of mountain areas of Eurasia and northern Africa has large recurved horns? (4) 11 On which river does the city of Liverpool stand? (6) 13 Which city is the state capital of Texas? (6) 14 The name of which small crisp batter cake also means to speak or write, especially at great length, without saying anything important or useful? (6) 17 Which type of leather shoe is shaped like a moccasin, with a flat heel? (6) 18 What is the name of the flat, coloured, ring-shaped membrane behind the cornea of the eye, with an adjustable circular opening in the centre? (4) 20/23 What was the name of the mistress of Adolf Hitler who committed suicide with him in the air-raid shelter of his Berlin headquarters? (3,5) 22 Which American singer topped the British singles charts in 1982 with the theme from the film Fame? (5,4) 23 See 20

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

24 On which Canary Island is Spain’s highest mountain, Teide Peak, located? (8) Down 1 Which breed of long-bodied short-legged dog has erect ears and a fox-like head? (5)

2 What was the surname of the actress who, in 1956, created the role of the Cockney flower girl Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady? (7) 3 What was the original surname of the former heavyweight boxing champion, Muhammad Ali? (4) 4 Which word that means not attentive or alert, is used euphemistically to indicate that someone is dead? (6) 5/6 Which British libertarian communist urban guerrilla group was responsible for a long string of bomb attacks around Britain between 1970 and 1972? (5,7) 7 According to Celtic legend, which nephew of the king of Cornwall fell in love with Isolde after they mistakenly drank a love potion? (7) 12 What name is given to any of a group of organic substances essential in small quantities to normal metabolism? (7) 13 In grammar what name is given to words or phrases that typically modify the meaning of adjectives or verbs? (7) 15 What make of car is a Testarossa? (7) 16 According to Greek mythology, what was the name of the goddess of the moon who fell in love with Endymion?

(6) 17 Which city is the capital of Bolivia? (2,3) 19 Which large edible ray has a long snout and thick tail with pectoral fins continuous with the head and swims by undulating the edges of its pectoral fins? (5) 21 What was the first name of the French mathematician, scientist, and philosopher Descartes? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH comunicaciones – communications Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

history QUIZ 1. Who said - "A woman only a woman, a good cigar is a smoke"?

2. What shape were the sailors plates in Nelson's navy?

3. What was the name given to textile workers who opposed modernisation during the nineteenth century?

4. What happened to the first traffic lights in 1868?

5. Where in egypt is the tomb of tutankhamen?

6. Which country was awarded the george cross for civilian bravery in 1942?

7. Who was Canada's first prime minister?

8. What was significant about the words (Watson, please come here, I want you) when spoken in 1876?

9. In what country was Bonnie Prince Charlie born?

10. Astronomer Joseph-Jerome de Lalande would eat what on bread butter?

11. Which country invented the mariner's compass?

12. Portugal has had six kings with what first name?

1. Rudyard Kipling 2. Square to ensure a Square meal 3.

Luddites 4. They exploded 5. Valley Of The Kings, Luxor 6. Malta 7. Sir John MacDonald 8. First Complete Sentence Spoken On The Phone 9. Italy 10. Spiders 11.

China 12. John

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Sneakers, 7 Alibi, 8 Gary Numan, 9 Eve, 10 Sect, 11/18 Arthur Ashe, 13 Cherub, 14 Taurus, 17 Robert, 20 Duo, 23 Freya, 24 Couscous.

Down: 1 Suggs, 2 Earache, 3 Kane, 4 Romero, 5 Cider, 6 Pigeons, 7 Anthrax, 12 Rum baba, 13 Cardiff, 15 Risotto, 16 Bronco, 17/22 Roger Bannister, 19 Earls, 21 Lies.

16. noticias-breves, 17. horario, 18. necrológico, 19. periódico, 20. fuente. a. source, b. timings, c. colour supplement, d. editorial, e. advertisement, f. cartoon, g. newspaper, h. heading, i. lead,

L S S D E O E F T D EAOAA O E E N G K C I O N V C F R N R I D V C C T I T T I I O E U AV R J E UAR D G O LU C N NCMALREROOUUHEC A E O A R V B L I C I N A B I L N R L I O O S I C K R F A O PT S S U R H TAQAH E C S A R T S C M R E V I S TA PA RAC E FAN O Z H C Y U O T E D N Q T P UAQ V C I G R R M I P G S U P LE M E N T OA I L K L A I R O T I D E Z O C R LS O S E C U S Z S M S B N PAF U E N T E S TAU W R M Soduko

Span - Eng

j. magazine, k. short news items, l. column, m. article, n. photo, o. obituary, p. letters, q. front page, r. interview, s. news items, t. headline.

Answers: 1h, 2m, 3c, 4j, 5f, 6d, 7i, 8p, 9r, 10l, 11e, 12q, 13n, 14t, 15s, 16k, 17b, 18o, 19g, 20a

1. cabecera, 2. artículo, 3. suplemento, 4. revista, 5. caricatura, 6. editorial, 7. entradilla, 8. cartas, 9. entrevista, 10. columna, 11. anuncio, 12. primera-plana, 13. foto, 14. titular, 15. sucesos,

ANUNCIO

FUENTE

ARTICULO

HORARIO

CABECERA

NECROLOGICO

CARICATURA

NOTICIAS-BREVES

CARTAS

PERIODICO

COLUMNA

PRIMERA-PLANA

EDITORIAL

REVISTA

ENTRADILLA

SUCESOS

ENTREVISTA

SUPLEMENTO

FOTO

TITULAR

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, January 13, 2012

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 In the ironically immortal words of the Mortal Kombat voiceover guy: Finish Him! When trying to take the top of a bottle of paracetamol, you may find yourself contemplating destroying the universe. Don't worry. Be happy.

I’m 15 and I still suck my thumb Hi Rose, You would expect teenage schoolgirls to try to get out of the house as much as possible but, unlike others, I'd much prefer to vegetate in front of the television, sucking my thumb!

I'm 15 years old and thumb-sucking has been a habit of mine since I was a baby. Wherever I go, you will always find me with my thumb in my mouth. Why? I consider it to be soothing and therapeutic.

My mum constantly tells me I look ridiculous, and I completely agree, but the fact is, I can't stop. I’ve tried various types of remedies, but have failed miserably.

I read online that mixing sweeteners in water and soaking your thumb in it prevents you from sucking, as it has a horrible taste, but without realising, I sucked it all off, however bad it tasted! I'll admit I do have a problem and I would like to stop, but most of the time, I do it without even thinking.

Research shows that a lot of damage can be caused to the mouth and teeth if carrying on the habit over the age of five, so where does that put me?

My teeth have changed slightly from sucking my thumb, but they have always been relatively strong and it hasn't given me the need for braces - yet.

My best friends can’t stand my thumb sucking and are frequently embarrassed by the habit. Some would say it looks "cute", whereas I completely disagree. Hopefully I will grow out of this nasty habit and start acting like a normal teenager, some day.

How am I going to break the habit? I'm sure there is a way but I just can't seem to put my finger on it. Can you help, Rose?

TALIA SIMPSON, El Raso Hi Talia, Please don’t worry about it I sucked my thumb until I was in my twenties, would you believe! It never did my teeth any harm and very, very occasionally I still do it ! You

Taurus April 20 - May 20 You are at a point in your life where you feel you are only there to serve. So get moving!

Serve away! Please remember today that most of your god-like powers have been taken from you in order to make you a better demi-god. ODBC Error Horoscope cannot be created for someone as stupid as you.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Employee of the month awards carry a penalty - the penalty of ridicule. Take care when opening up an email from a friend today as you may not enjoy the electronic content inside. This week will reverse any setbacks you've had recently. All the time you spent on learning French is never going to pay off.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 You must also smell as sweet as you look.

Your lucky horse for today is: Sombrero's Lid. You're single. So what are you doing reading this when you could be out there having fun? Go let your hair down. The older you get the more you're starting to realise that everyone else is an idiot.

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es just grow out of it. Don’t worry about it.

Long Lost Sister

Hi Rose, I'm a 31-year-old male and recently got contacted by a 34-year-old female who says I'm her brother.

She just found out. We have the same father but she never knew him. I've worked everything out and all the pieces fit. She is definitely my sister. The problem is my partner thinks it’s weird that I want to get to know her as she is a stranger, and we are only connected by blood. She says she can't be my sister because we never grew up as brother and sister. But I want to get to know her; we seem to have so much in common. Is this weird and what do I do? Please help PETER Torrevieja Hello Peter. I don't see why this is weird. You may not have grown up as brother and sister, but you have a connection with someone, even if it is only blood, and you naturally want to pursue that.

I would definitely try to meet them. You may find that it doesn't work out, and you may end up just being names on a Christmas card list, but it's got to be worth finding out! Just because you didn't grow up together doesn't mean that you can't be siblings now! You will have so much to talk about, and

things to find out about each other.

Is there a possibility that your partner feels jealous? All of a sudden this other woman has come into your life and you're talking about her and wanting to spend time with her, your partner could be feeling a little bit annoyed. I suggest sitting down and having a chat with her, a proper talk and discuss exactly why she feels that it's weird for you to want to meet your sister, and whether there is more to it, and then you can address those problems.

New Year Resolution Hi Rose, For the past 18 months I'd been having an affair and decided that I really needed to stop it so figured new year was the best time, especially as my wife will be giving birth soon.

So when I saw the girl I've been sleeping with I asked if we could meet up for some fun, she said no she was busy. Next time I asked again, wanted to have one last time before the bills if you catch my drift. She still said no, that she had somewhere else to be at which point I began to suspect she's taken on a boyfriend without even consulting me. Not the point I know but a bit insulting.

So I've seen her since New Year and have stuck to my word about it being

over, but she was still flirty and making jokes which I had to try hard to ignore. I feel like she's playing mind games with me which isn't fair.

But I'm worried I stray now from my commitment to change. I want to be better, for my wife, kids and unborn child. I could die tomorrow with this guilt still on my mind.

FRED Santa Pola Hello Fred. First of all, not only are you harbouring secrets that could destroy your family’s life you are also acting as if this young woman has no right to see other men. What is the 'other' woman supposed to do? Sit and be on your waiting list until you then decided to go back on the decision you had told her you had already made?

The reasons for your guilt is yours and no one else s.

You’re not trying to better yourself for your family since you've already betrayed their trust, the fact is you are selfish and purely care about how this is making YOU feel.

If the girl is playing mind games... so what? You’re a human being with your own thoughts; surely you are capable of saying no?

Leave the girl alone, let her build a life where she might actually meet someone who wants more than sex from her ~ You didn't mention any feelings towards her so what else can be assumed? I know she is just as wrong as you but you need to focus on whatever issues you have in the relationship with your wife FIRST, before any.

Whatever it was that led you to your affair is the problem.

Leo July 23 - August 22 If you feel like you're struggling to go ahead with the rest of the world, sit down, relax and perhaps watch some day time television. Being righteous will only make you enemies. There is a lot of anger in your brain. Douse it with cool, flavoursome beer.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Today is not your lucky day. It's tomorrow instead! So that's something to look forward to whilst your picking up your teeth with your broken arm. Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Feeding stray cats may seem important to you today in order to get a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction. Your lack of self-control "down there" may mean you're limited to small forays to the bathroom today. Sitting at a computer in order to read websites is not advised.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 If you don't wear glasses now, the chances are that you're going to need to after an upcoming sports accident. The gongoozlers at your naked twister parties should at least be made to take off their shoes. If you're ignorant are you blessed? Only with ignorance, my stupid friend.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Just because people laugh at you doesn't make you a comedian. The legend of the baked bean may trouble you today as last night's meal tries to catch up with last week's.

Applying yourself to your work may be the only way you can crush the thoughts that rampage through your ill-mind.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Are you loveable? Take time out today to contemplate that thought and try to make sure that you are very loveable. All the email addresses in the world won't make up for the fact that you are socially retarded. Today you will find that your favourite attribute in a person is their ability to tell you how fantastic you are.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Your appetites may diminish today as you fall into a vat of gravy with no inside ladder.

In biscuits one can find sweet, sweet redemption. Especially when soaked in Rum. Horoscopes have always had a tendency to be wrong for you, but today's will be a peach.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 It may become apparent today that you are gradually becoming what you always hated.

Phone your father and tell him. Your worst fears may come to light today when you are shoved into a very small hole filled with sharks, insects, spiders, snaked and moths.

35

Friday, January 13, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY ETERNAL CRY ANGLE Spare us these ITV angels from hell!

GREAT TV writers don’t always guarantee hits, despite a fantastic track record. For example, the brilliant BBC tribute to the late comedy guru David Croft over the Christmas holiday wonderfully airbrushed out, in Soviet fashion, the disastrous sit-com Come Back Mrs. Noah, starring Mollie Sugden, which he cowrote with Jeremy Lloyd.

Some reviewers described it as one of the worst sit-coms ever, in which case they must never have watched some of ITV’s fourth-rate efforts in the genre.

Fast forward to 2012, and we have two well-established writing teams with two disasters that have certainly soured their reputations.

First up, take Ashley Pharoah and Matthew Graham.

Prolific TV writers, who are best known for giving us Life on Mars, and the follow-up, Ashes to Ashes. I was really looking forward to their new project for ITV1, Eternal Law, which is all about a couple of angels who land in York and work as lawyers defending clients who need their help.

OK, that sounds a bit crazy, but so was the concept behind

with ALEX TRELINSKI

E t e r n a l Law: Not even Divine intervention can save it

Life on Mars - but that worked. This fails miserably in an hour which just doesn’t know what it is meant to be doing, and where the commercial breaks were the highlight.

It’s not funny enough, or dramatic enough. I found it difficult to really hit a chord with the main characters, and the stories were just plain boring and predictable.

My partner, who suffered Eternal Law with me, said it was something akin to a spherically shaped area in the male testicular area of the body, which rhymed with a female fairytale friend of the Three Bears.

Having some nice views of York didn’t make up for some terrible shortfalls, yet if this had been done by American producers and writers, I think it could have worked.

Remember the old Bonanza man, Michael Landon, as an angel in Highway to Heaven, for example? Not even Divine intervention can save Eternal Law from being dumped by ITV, and it can quickly go to hell as far as I’m concerned.

A quick escape deep down below might be a very good choice for a hasty exit for the writing team of Mark Bussell and Justin Sbresni. Back in 2004, they came up with the very funny Worst Week of my Life series, starring Ben Miller, and it was great.

Nearly eight years on, you pair them up with one of Britain’s great comedy actors, Sir David Jason, and what do you get? A bag of humourless manure festering like a blister about to explode, calling itself The Royal Bodyguard, and plopping itself like a drunken gate-crasher right in the middle of BBC 1’s primetime Monday night schedule.

I’m sure there were more laughs to be had at the recent funeral of Kim Jong-Il in Pyongyang than this barrel-scraping mess, which makes the adventures of Inspector Clouseau seem like a historical canon penned by Leo Tolstoy.

It is genuinely one of the most embarrassing pieces of mainstream comedy television I have seen for a long time, devoid of imagination or intelligence, and crucially for a comedy show, devoid of laughter, too.

If this is the last sit-com David Jason

MONTE CARLO PG Fresh out of high school, Grace (Selena Gomez) is eager to visit Paris, teaming up with best friend Emma (Katie Cassidy) and stepsister Meg (Leighton Meester) to tour the City of Lights. While their budget vacation offers them the highlights, a chance encounter with snotty heiress, and Grace’s lookalike, Cordelia (also Gomez) provides the ladies with an opportunity to borrow an identity and take off to Monte Carlo, where luxury awaits. Freaked out over their plan, Grace attempts to stay in character, thrust

shenanigans. It’s a formulaic tale of mistaken identities and boy hunting, but there’s a concentration on human elements here CAST: Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, Katie that’s rewarding, allowing Cassidy, Corey Monteith, Andie MacDowell for kindness and considerDIRECTOR: Tom Bezucha GENRE: Comedy, Romance ation to lead the experiRATING: 3.5/5 RUNNING TIME: 109 min. into a privileged world that bly wrong in lesser hands. ence.

Bezucha wants the viewer offers glamour and the “The Family Stone” helmer to like these women, to attention of Theo (Pierre Thomas Bezucha takes invest emotionally in their Boulanger), a handsome special care of the materihurried journey around Frenchman. Men are also a al, selecting a softer Europe. The screenplay is concern for Emma, who approach of surprise for obvious but sincere, with misses her Texas beau his characters when each character gifted a litOwen (Cory Monteith), and screechy hyperactivity tle section of heartbreak Meg, finding a connection would typically be they have to overcome with rugged Aussie travemployed for such before the end credits. eller Riley (Luke Bracey).

Loosely adapted from the This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING Jules Bass novel MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all “Headhunters,” “Monte over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel Carlo” could’ve gone horri- 650 751 072 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

The Royal Bodyguard: Like a drunken Monday night gatecrasher

makes, I hope that all the recordings are destroyed, as we flash back to remember his genius in Open all Hours or Only Fools.

More importantly, somebody in the BBC should be held to account for letting this garbage sneak under the radar to make it through to the transmission stage. This show is so bad that I honestly think that Messrs. Bussell and Sbresni will never get another commission from the BBC. Just think, some fool actually wanted to run the first episode as the main attraction on Christmas Day night! All this from the same organisation that ridiculously pulled quality drama series like Lark Rise to Candleford and Spooks last year.

I was disappointed and saddened to see the BBC TV News last Friday reporting the death of the great broadcaster Bob Holness, with just a flimsy 20-second fifth generation VHS copy of part of Blockbusters from the eighties. Some of us from an older vintage well remember Bob hosting Take a Letter and Junior Criss Cross Quiz for Granada back in the early sixties, and he was an outstanding radio presenter.

What peeved me about BBC’s Six O’Clock News was that after a pathetic few seconds on Bob, we got nearly three minutes of propaganda about some new singer who had won a BBC award for being “a face to watch” in 2012. That hardly fell into the category of news, and I switched channels quickly in anger. Bob deserved a lot better.

Celebrity Big Brother crept back on to Channel 5 screens last week, and I found two great reasons not to watch it.

Denise Welch and Frankie Cocozza.

“Monte Carlo” stages a big crash of characters for the finale, but nothing gets too wild, which is a refreshing change of pace. Instead, the film closes on a positive note of contentment, not comedic catastrophe, displaying a gentle nature that lasts longer than any act of piercing punctuation.

Perhaps it’s predictable and saccharine, but “Monte Carlo” has a heart and some personality to share.

36

The Courier Friday TV

January 13

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 Countryfile 02:25 Britain's Hidden Heritage 03:25 James May's Man Lab 04:25 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 360 16:35 Deadly 60 Bites 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:40 Fake Britain 22:00 Hustle 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Darts: BDO World Championships 01:10 Darts Extra 03:10 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 1911 Review of the Year 06:00 Wonders of the Universe 07:00 Little Robots

07:10 The Adventures of Abney & Teal 07:25 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Mike the Knight 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 LazyTown 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 The Large Family 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Bob's Mini Projects 10:50 Louie 10:55 Hoof and Safety with Nuzzle & Scratch 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Wibbly Pig 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 Darts: BDO World Championships 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great Barrier Reef 21:00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 22:00 Sicily Unpacked 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Take Me Out 01:30 ITV News Headlines 03:35 Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 15:59 Meridian Weather 16:00 Lewis 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Safari Vet School 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Law & Order: UK 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 True Crime

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Coppers 01:15 Curated by Lyle and Scott 01:30 Embarrassing Bodies 02:25 Undressing My Mother 02:30 Britain's Greatest Codebreaker 03:40 The Great British Property Scandal 04:35 Whatever Turns You On 04:40 St Elsewhere 05:30 Brothers & Sisters 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Undercover Boss Australia 11:25 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Celebrity Five Go To 14:10 Channel 4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'True Grit' 14:15 I Was Monty's Double 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 4thought.tv 20:35 Come Dine with Me 21:30 New Girl 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:30 Milton Jones's House of Rooms

HUSTLE New series. The grifters return for one last round of cons, targeting the greedy and corrupt with intricate scams to exact revenge for their victims - and making a bit of cash for themselves in the process.

They begin by taking on a dealer who is famous for parting the elderly from their possessions for a pittance and trading stolen gold for a huge profit. and Adrian Lester, Robert Vaughn and Robert Glenister star. Postponed from 6 January.

00:00 It's All About Amy 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 HouseBusters 05:25 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:50 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 The Hotel Inspector 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 The Last Chance 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21:00 World's Toughest Trucker 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Celebrity Wedding Planner

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT...

Intelligent Design

If the male nursery web spider were a human, he would be sternly denounced as a vulgar cad.

Researcher Maria Jose Albo of Denmark's Aarhus University told Live Science in November that the spiders typically obtain sex by making valuable "gifts" to females (usually, high-nutrition insects wrapped in silk), but if lacking resources, a male cleverly packages a fake gift (usually a piece of flower) also in silk but confoundingly wound so as to distract her as she unwraps it -and then mounts her before she discovers the hoax. Albo also found that the male is not above playing dead to coax the female into relaxing her guard as she approaches the "carcass" -- only to be jumped from behind for sex.

Least Competent Plans L.B. Williams, a black man married to a white woman in Panama City, Fla., reported that the Ku Klux Klan had burned a cross in his driveway in November and left a threatening note. However, the note did not demand that the couple move from the neighbourhood; it demanded that they stay. Since the Klan is not known for supporting mixed-race couples, the police were suspicious and ultimately charged Williams with making the threats himself -- to frighten his wife into abandoning the divorce she had recently requested.

Paul Moran, possessing (according to his lawyer) "considerable intellectual ability," nonetheless attempted a procedure to turn his own faeces into gold (and was sentenced in October to three months in jail in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, after accidentally setting his apartment on fire in the process).

Convoluted Plans

A balaclava-wearing man "kidnapped" Julian Buchwald and his girlfriend in 2008 in Australia's Alpine National Park as they were picnicking. The man separated the couple, tore their clothes off and buried them, but Buchwald escaped and rescued the girlfriend, and they wandered around naked for days before being rescued. The balaclava-clad man, it turns out, was Buchwald, whose plan was to convince the woman by his heroism that she should marry him (and more immediately, to have sex even though they had both pledged to remain virgins until marriage). Buchwald was convicted in Victoria County Court and sentenced in December to more than seven years in prison.

Special beer for dogs The non-alcoholic, bubble-free drinks are made with malt as well as beef flavourings.

Pub manager Dave Carr said the dog beer was put on sale in the pub to help create an animalfriendly environment.

The pub wanted to offer more to its canine customers than just a bowl of water and a dog biscuit.

The first batch of beer has been going down a treat and Mr Carr told the Daily Mail that everyone's dogs seem to love it.

But if man's best friend doesn't feel com-

pletely satisfied with just a beer, the pub's menu also offers dog-friendly food too.

Dishes include a doggy version of a chicken chasseur as well as a Sunday roast covered in cat-flavoured gravy.

37

The Courier Saturday TV

January 14

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The Brothers Grimm 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 Question Time 03:25 James May's Man Lab 04:25 MasterChef: The Professionals 05:25 BBC News 05:30 British Olympic Dreams 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 World Olympic Dreams 14:30 Bargain Hunt 15:30 Live Darts: BDO World Championships 17:30 Final Score 18:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:35 Winter Wipeout 19:35 The Magicians 20:50 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 21:40 Casualty 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 Weather 00:05 Darts: BDO World Championships 00:55 Darts Extra 02:55 Click 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record Review 04:00 BBC News

04:30 04:45 05:00 05:25 07:00 07:10 07:25 07:35 07:45 08:00 Lab 08:30 08:40 09:05 09:35 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30 12:00 12:25 12:40 13:00 13:20 14:50 16:30 18:30 19:30 20:30 21:00 Ernie 22:00 22:50

Click Newswatch BBC News Close Little Robots Zigby Raa Raa the Noisy Lion Octonauts Everything's Rosie Richard Hammond's Blast Dennis and Gnasher The Scooby-Doo Show Pixelface Prank Patrol Down Under Deadly 60 Serious Explorers: Raleigh Animals at Work Trapped Ever After Hacker Time OOglies MOTD Kickabout The Sky at Night Miss Sadie Thompson Mrs Palfrey at The Claremont The World's Fastest Indian Escape to the Country Flog It! Dad's Army The Man Who Made Eric & Ken Russell: A Bit of a Devil Women in Love

01:55 The Zone 03:55 New York Minute 05:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News and Weather 10:35 Step Up 12:30 This Morning: Saturday 13:30 Murder, She Wrote 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:44 Meridian Weather 14:45 Animals Do the Funniest Things 15:45 All Star Family Fortunes 16:25 The Lost World: Jurassic Park 18:45 Meridian News and Weather 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 New You've Been Framed!

19:45 Harry Hill's TV Burp 20:15 Take Me Out 21:30 The Talent Show Story 22:30 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:45 Celebrity Juice

4:RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER Fantasy action adventure starring Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis. The wedding plans of Sue Storm and Reed Richards are disrupted by the arrival on Earth of the Silver Surfer, a metallic intergalactic herald who paves the way for an entity that specialises in trashing planets. Putting their nuptials on hold, Storm and Richards join the rest of the Fantastic Four in a bid to counter this latest menace.

00:00 Rude Tube 01:05 Candyman II 02:45 Random Acts 02:50 My Name Is Earl 03:35 Hung 04:05 Dog's Mercury 04:30 St Elsewhere 05:20 Phil's Empty Homes Giveaway 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 The Grid 08:30 GT Academy 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody's Talking About 10:30 Flicka 12:20 The Simpsons 12:50 New Girl 13:20 Playing It Straight 14:25 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Channel 4 Presents - Lee Pearson 'The Colour Gold' 17:05 The Simpsons 17:35 Come Dine with Me 18:05 Come Dine with Me 18:40 Come Dine with Me 19:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Come Dine with Me 20:10 Channel 4 News 20:40 4thought.tv 20:45 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer 22:30 The Million Pound Drop Live

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Motorsport Mundial 05:25 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:50 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:15 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Milkshake! Show 08:35 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:00 Little Princess 09:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:35 Angelina Ballerina 09:55 Rupert Bear 10:05 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:20 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 It's All About Amy 12:15 Celebrity Big Brother 13:15 World's Toughest Trucker 14:15 Gray Lady Down 16:30 Saddle the Wind 18:10 The Devil's Brigade 20:30 5 News Weekend 20:35 NCIS 21:30 Celebrity Big Brother 22:35 Along Came Polly

38

The Courier Sunday TV

January 15

00:40 The Football League Show 01:55 Weatherview 02:00 BBC News 02:30 On the Road With 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Nicole's Legacy 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Sunday Politics 14:00 EastEnders 16:05 Bargain Hunt 16:35 Escape to the Country 17:20 The Royal Bodyguard 17:50 Lifeline 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 Antiques Roadshow 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Call the Midwife 22:00 Sherlock 23:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:55 The One Jasper Carrott

00:55 Darts: BDO World Championships 01:45 The Rainbow 03:30 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Owl 09:05 Paradise Cafe 09:30 Diddy Dick & Dom 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 The Long Duel 14:20 Live Snooker: The Masters 18:00 Ski Sunday 18:45 Live Darts: BDO World Championships 21:00 Great Barrier Reef 22:00 To Boldly Go 23:00 Match of the Day 2

00:30 02:15 04:30 05:15 06:30 07:00 08:25 10:25 10:30 11:30 12:30 13:30 14:00 14:04 14:05 15:10 17:10 19:00 19:15 19:30 21:30 22:30 23:00 23:30 23:44 23:45

Wimbledon The Zone In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV ITV News and Weather Ade in Britain Dinner Date Dickinson's Real Deal You've Been Framed!

ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Murder, She Wrote Columbo: Identity Crisis Vera Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather Dancing on Ice Wild at Heart Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off That Sunday Night Show ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Bloody Sunday

HUGH’S THREE HUNGRY BOYS New series. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall challenges three best friends, Tim, Thom and Trevor, to travel from Axminster, Devon to Land's End, Cornwall in five weeks. With no money and an electrically powered milk-float as their only mode of transport, they must complete the task by living off the land and sea, foraging for food and managing to secure renewable energy for their vehicle. Their journey begins in the hills of Dartmoor.

00:00 Blade: Trinity 02:05 The Proposition 03:50 Lucky Day 04:05 Farewell Packets of 10 04:10 My Friend Michael Sniff 04:15 Britain BC 05:15 Kevin's Grand Design 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freesports on 4 08:25 That Paralympic Show 08:50 Channel 4 Presents - Jody Cundy 2012 08:55 Beyonce Live from Roseland 09:50 One Tree Hill 10:45 Hollyoaks 13:15 Shipwrecked 14:15 The Big Bang Theory 14:50 The Big Bang Theory 15:15 The Simpsons 15:45 The Simpsons 16:15 Entrapment 18:25 Deal or No Deal 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Hugh's Three Hungry Boys 21:00 The Hotel 22:00 The Reader

00:15 The Hotel Inspector 01:15 SuperCasino 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Milkshake! Show 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:50 Olivia 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Mio Mao 09:50 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Funky Town 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 Grey's Anatomy 12:10 Celebrity Big Brother 13:10 The Hotel Inspector 14:10 The Pink Panther 15:55 Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby 18:00 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 19:40 Hellboy 22:00 World's 22:50 5 News Weekend 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

39

The Courier Monday TV

January 16

00:35 All of Me 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 02:45 Holby City 03:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; 16:05 Deadly 360 16:30 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab: The Experiments 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The One Griff Rhys Jones 22:00 The Royal Bodyguard 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:00 00:30 01:00 01:50 03:50 04:00 04:30 04:45 04:55

Frank Skinner's Opinionated Fast and Loose Snooker: The Masters Snooker Extra Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Close

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 LazyTown 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 The Large Family 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Bob's Mini Projects 10:50 Uki 10:55 Hoof and Safety with Nuzzle & Scratch 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Wibbly Pig 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 Live Snooker: The Masters 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Baking Made Easy 20:30 A Question of Taste 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Stargazing Live 22:30 Stargazing Live: Back to Earth 23:00 Have I Got News for You 23:30 Newsnight

01:45 The Zone 02:45 Ladette to Lady: Australia 03:35 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 The Hungry Sailors 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Above Suspicion 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 When Ali Came to Britain

SECRETS OF SHOPLIFTERS Documentary exploring the world of shoplifters and those who try to track them down, revealing the tactics used by criminals and detectives. As a result of the recession, thieves have begun to target food rather than clothing, and shop security staff place themselves in danger as they try to detain offenders.

00:25 02:35 02:45 04:20 04:40 Ting 05:10 06:05 06:15 07:00 07:10 08:00 08:25 09:25 09:55 10:55 11:55 Away 13:00 13:05 14:05 14:20 16:10 17:00 18:00 18:30 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00

Underworld Laid Off Train to Pakistan The Bypass Much Ado About a Minor Kevin's Grand Design Designers Under Pressure Countdown The Treacle People The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed According to Jim Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Relocation: Phil Down Under A Place in the Sun: Home or Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me River Cottage Bites The Virgin Queen Countdown Deal or No Deal Celebrity Coach Trip Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv Richard Wilson On Hold Coppers Secrets of the Shoplifters

00:05 Not Another Teen Movie 01:45 Comedy Kings: Best of Just for Laughs 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 County Secrets 05:10 Great Scientists 05:35 Divine Designs 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Monkey 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 The Family Recipe 16:20 Prairie Fever 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 World's Toughest Trucker 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 When Paddy Met Sally

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

January 17

00:05 Late Kick Off 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 Weatherview 01:25 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:25 The Mystery of Edwin Drood 03:25 MasterChef: The Professionals 03:55 You've Been Scammed 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 360 16:30 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab: The Experiments 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 Pixelface 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crime Scene Forensics

00:20 01:10 02:10 04:10 04:30 04:45 05:00

Snooker: The Masters American Football Snooker Extra Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Once Upon a Time

05:45 Hansel & Gretel 06:00 Stargazing Challenges 06:30 Little Stargazing 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 LazyTown 09:55 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 The Large Family 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Bob's Mini Projects 10:50 Louie 10:55 Hoof and Safety with Nuzzle & Scratch 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Wibbly Pig 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 Live Snooker: The Masters 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 21:00 Stargazing Live 22:00 Stargazing Live: Back to Earth 22:30 Horizon 23:30 Weather

00:35 That Sunday Night Show 01:05 Law & Order: UK 02:00 River Monsters 02:25 ITV News Headlines 02:25 The Zone 04:15 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 The Hungry Sailors 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 River Monsters 21:00 The Exit List 22:00 The Biggest Loser 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Benidorm

15 KIDS AND COUNTING New series. The lives of some of the UK's largest families, exploring why some people are determined to have as many children as possible - despite the risks this can pose to their health and finances. The first episode features Noel and Sue Radford, who are awaiting the birth of their 15th child, and Kent couple Tania and Mike Sullivan, whose family of nine children is set to expand further with the arrival of twins. However, Tania's medical history - including eight miscarriages - means her latest pregnancy is regarded as high-risk.

00:05 00:10 01:30 02:40 03:35 03:50 04:05 05:25 06:15 06:55 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:30 08:55 09:25 09:55 10:30 11:00 12:00 Away 13:00 13:05 14:10 14:20 16:10 17:00 18:00 18:30 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00

Random Acts Shameless Shameless The Joy of Teen Sex Cinema Extreme Flood The Man Who Saved Rome St Elsewhere 90210 Sali Mali The Treacle People The Hoobs The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed According to Jim According to Jim Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Relocation: Phil Down Under A Place in the Sun: Home or Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me River Cottage Ride the High Country Countdown Deal or No Deal Celebrity Coach Trip Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Fat Fighters 15 Kids and Counting Shameless

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Kym Marsh: Teen Mums and Me 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:15 Grey's Anatomy 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Monkey 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 The Family Recipe 16:20 Jane Doe: Eye of the Beholder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Celebrity Wedding Planner 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 Body of Proof 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

January 18

00:15 Sus 01:50 Weatherview 01:55 The Manor Reborn 02:55 The Mystery of Edwin Drood 03:55 MasterChef: The Professionals 04:55 You've Been Scammed 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 360 16:30 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab: The Experiments 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 My Life: Stammer School 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Rip Off Britain 21:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Would I Lie to You?

00:20 01:10 03:10 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

Snooker: The Masters Snooker Extra Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today After Life: Rot Box Detectives

06:00 William Whiskerson 06:30 Talkie Time 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 LazyTown 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 The Large Family 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Bob's Mini Projects 10:50 Louie 10:55 Hoof and Safety with Nuzzle & Scratch 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Wibbly Pig 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Live Snooker: The Masters 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 21:00 Stargazing Live 22:00 Stargazing Live: Back to Earth 22:30 Crusades 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Homes from Hell 01:30 The Zone 01:30 ITV News Headlines 04:05 Crossing Jordan 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 The Hungry Sailors 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live FA Cup Football 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 FA Cup Football Highlights

HAIRY BIKERS BEST OF BRITISH

Si King and Dave Myers continue their celebration of British food. The culinary duo share fascinating stories as they explore the festivals and occasions on the calendar that allow the nation to put on a spread and indulge.

00:05 Desperate Housewives 01:05 Random Acts 01:10 Poker 02:10 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:35 Volleyball 03:30 GT Academy 03:55 Run to the Beat 04:45 Freesports on 4 05:10 Sailing 05:40 Sailing 06:05 Channel 4 Presents Hannah Cockroft 2012 06:10 Scrapheap Challenge 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 According to Jim 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Channel 4 Presents - David Clarke 2012 13:10 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Danger Within 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Celebrity Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 How to Cook Like Heston 21:30 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 talhotblond:

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 When Paddy Met Sally 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 HouseBusters 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Monkey 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 McBride: Murder Past Midnight 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Benidorm ER 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Kate Thornton - Anorexic: My Secret Past

42

The Courier Thusday TV

January 19

00:15 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 00:55 Trees Lounge 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 See Hear 03:00 Country Tracks 04:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 360 16:30 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab: The Experiments 16:35 Wingin' It 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Earthflight 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 01:10 03:10 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

Snooker: The Masters Snooker Extra Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Love Hurts

05:30 Coping 06:00 Around the World in 80 Faiths 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Copycats 09:25 LazyTown 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 The Large Family 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Bob's Mini Projects 10:50 Louie 10:55 Hoof and Safety with Nuzzle & Scratch 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Wibbly Pig 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 Lifeline 13:40 Live Snooker: The Masters 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Live Snooker: The Masters 21:00 Edward VII: Prince of Pleasure 22:00 Putin, Russia & the West 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather

00:35 Police, Camera, Action!

01:30 ITV News Headlines 03:35 Criminal 05:00 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 The Hungry Sailors 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Eternal Law 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

EDWARD VII: PRINCE OF PLEASURE Documentary drawing on research to unravel the mystery of a monarch who has been described as a dynasty builder, a sex addict, an astute political operator and a boorish philistine, as well as demonstrating how his legacy still has relevance today.

00:15 Random Acts 00:20 Secrets of the Shoplifters 01:25 Launched at Red Bull Studios 01:45 Launched at Red Bull Studios 02:15 The Album Chart Show Introduces - Cover Drive 02:30 The Album Chart Show Introduces - Yasmin 02:45 The Only Gay on the Estate?

03:10 Bright Young Things 04:55 St Elsewhere 05:40 90210 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Channel 4 Presents - Liz Johnson 'Into the Blue' 14:10 River Cottage Bites 14:25 The Cross of Lorraine 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Celebrity Coach Trip 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 The Restoration Man 23:00 True Stories

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Poker: The Big Game 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 HouseBusters 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Mio Mao 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Mercy Mission: the Rescue of Flight 771 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 World's 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

43

Friday, January 13, 2012

Telephone 600 726 221 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Going home RHD vehicles For Sale or Exchange Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Cheap run arounds from 800 euros in stock Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

AWNINGS

ACCOMODATION Small, economic family run hotel, situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35 € per room, per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations. (48)

ACCOUNTANTS

FOR SALE

Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge. (48)

ALARMS Protect your home or business with ultimate technology Alarm Systems - get connected to the professionals. Immediate connection to the police via our 24/7 control centre, with video surveillance included. Don’t wait until it´s too late. For a free quote call 966 923 963 (48) EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLD DRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900. 25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH GUARANTEED SITES. 619 307 318. (52)

AIR CONDITIONING

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Brand New Clothing for sale, 10.000 pieces in mixed childrens, ladies and mens wear. Ideal for market traders. Bargain price 1 € per item. Call now on 651885200. (48)

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am.

Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am,

and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Looking for a car? We have a good selection of LHD & RHD vehicles for sale or exchange. Simply view our easy to use web-

site www.fwreurocars.com or Telephone 600 726 221 - 965687976 Ford Fusion Auto 1.4 duroshift 2008 1 owner 66,000 kms, FSH, digital AC, CD etc, lovely condition, light metallic blue 8450 euros www.fwreurocars.com Tel 600 726 221 965687976 Suzuki Swift Parts 1.3 2006, only covered 26,000 kms, hard body damage, excellent engine, gearbox, wheels, tyres, interior etc 950 euros complete may consider braking Telephone Francesca 672 127 228

BLINDS / AWNINGS

HORSES Georgeous Arabian chestnut stallion, lovely character, 9 year old 14.8 hands, good allrounder for sale or to share, stabled in Valverdy near Gran Alacant Santa Pola Telephone Faye 600 726 221

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 TipTop Villa Care, for all your property needs. Meet and Greets. Cleaning.

Holiday and Long Term Rentals. Advertising. Baby Equipment Hire. www.tiptopvillacare.com e-mail linda@tiptopvillacare.com Tel 667848582 (50)

COMPUTERS Architect

CAR SALES

ALARMS

Ford Focus C Max 1.6 TDCI AUTO tiptronic DIESEL 2004, fsh, high spec model with rear picnic tables & sunblinds, dual climate, stunning condition, light metallic blue 7950 euros Telephone 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Peugeot 307cc 2.0 AUTO, tiptronic, cabriolet, 2008, 1 owner, 48,000 kms ,fsh, top of the range, inc navigation, alloys, park sensors, front fogs, beautiful metallic blue, showroom condition, 14,750 euros Telephone 600 726 221 965 687 976 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Nissan Primera 1.8 5dr hatch 2000, 76,000 kms, digital aircon etc, white lovely condition, bargain 3250 euros Telephone 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Porsh Boxster 3.2S AUTO, TIPTRONIC, 2 OWNERS, 84,000K, full Porsh history, stunning car, silver/ blue leather 13,750 euros

Two orange gas cylinders.

One full, one half full. 25€ each or 45€ for pair. Tel: 672192482. Santiago de la Ribera.

Two single beds, both with foldaway beds underneath. 50 euros each or 90 euros for all four beds.

Tel: 672192482. Santiago de la Ribera. Buyer must collect.

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

APPLIANCE REPAIRS

FUNERAL SERVICES

AUCTION

CAR MECHANIC

44

Friday, January 13, 2012

PROPERTY FOR RENT COSTA BLANCA SOUTH LONG TERM RENTALS ROLDAN LARGE DETACHED VILLA available furnished or UNFURNISHED Near to town centre and schools. Ideal for La Torre Golf Resort and Kings College. linda@tiptopvillacare.com or call Tel 667848582 www.tiptopvillacare.com (50) LONG TERM RENTALS (ALICANTE region) FORMENTERA de la SEGURA. NEAR ROJALES. Sunny and Bright 2 bedroom apartment. Large Terrace with BBQ. Walking distance to Town Centre 350€/mth* Linda 667848582 (50) Punta Prima 3 bed 2 bath apartment. 20m2 fully glazes balcony. Gated appartment. 400€ per

month. Beautiful sea views. 5 mins to beach, bars and shops. 966 703 297. (48) Ref. 91, This lovely one bedroom apartment is on the fifth (top) floor of block one of the Miramar development - but don't worry about climbing the stairs, as there is a lift! A parking space is included in the key operated underground garage. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars.

Short term only. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb

CREATIVE CONCRETE

communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term or Short term available. €795PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. €300PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. €425PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis.

The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. €250PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 702, A lovely 2 bedroom apartment in a quiet area of Torrevieja yet within walking distance to local beaches and amenities.

It’s also less than an hour’s drive from both Alicante and Murcia San Javier Airports. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 135, An outstanding two bedroom villa with one double and one twin room on the VillaMartin golf complex. There is a very pleasant terrace off the main bedroom and from the sun terrace on the roof the views are excellent. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

FURNITURE

DAMP PROOFING

HEATING

FISHING

ENERGY SAVER

FAST BROADBAND

ELECTRICIAN

LOCKSMITH

NEWS AGENTS

Ref. 04, A 2 bedroom apartment one street back from the famous Cabo Roig strip. There is a selection of local shops, restaurants and bars on the doorstep with the shopping strip only 400 metres away. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 92, A lovely three bedroom apartment on the ground floor of block one of the Miramar developments. A small balcony runs the width of the lounge area above the small private garden area at the front of the property. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 104, Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance to the Friday Market, Town Centre and the beach. Close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. €350PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 151, Beautiful Family 3 Bedroom Villa. Well equipped American kitchen, double bedroom and bathroom. A further 2 bedrooms, bathroom, large terrace with sun loungers, table and chairs, bbq, and beautiful sea view. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A.Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Luxury appartments, 2/3 bedrooms in San Miguel

HOUSE CLEARANCES

GARDENING

PLUMBERS

De Salinas. Floor heating, Elevator, Roof terrace with swimmingpool, from 385 euros/month Also holiday rentals and appartments in San Miguel de Salinas from 350 euros/month.

966 723 437 and 616 487 493 (48)

PROPERTY FOR SALE BEACH HOUSE 1 street from beach. LOS NAREJOS 3 bedroom 2 bathroom Townhouse HUGE BASEMENT, currently set out as GYM and DOUBLE bedroom. 175,000€. Linda 667848582 (50) BARGAIN 199,950 CEHEGIN 1 hour San Javier Airport. 40 mins. Corvera.

5 bedroom 2 bath FINCA with over 5,000m2 plot.

Stunning. Tel. 667848 582 (50) Detached villa with large oasis pool. Situated on first Urb. In Gran Alacant.

500m2 plot, electric gates, alarmed 3 beds, 3 baths, fully furnished. Recently reduced for a quick sale Now only 260.000 euros Call 680 333 242 quoting ref 33 Altomar II in Gran Alacant Investment opportunity…

82.000 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, lounge diner, ind.

Kitchen, Glazed in Galleria, S/Facing, extra storage Fully furnished, Private parking, Com pools Ring 627 711 155 to view.

MASSAGE

PETS

SECURITY

SEWING

45

Friday, January 13, 2012 Duplex in Monte y Mar, GA 2 Bed, 1 Bath, ground floor with views Fully furnished, A/Con, Heating, Ceiling Fans, English TV, garden, Communal pool, for apt please call 966 699 136 to view only 115.000 ono REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated parking, walking distance to Shops bars restaurants etc. 627 711 155 Calling all serious Buyers.

I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant.

Everything included in price, fantastic Alicante/sea views. As a starting price I am looking in the region of 265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242

PLASTERER

PERSONAL

Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished.

Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing.

Lovely well maintained terraced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to shops, bars restaurants.

Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve.

Private parking, call 680 333 242 for more details.

133.000 euros Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbanisation Please ring 966 699 136 after 6pm (english & spanish spoken) Now only 125.000 euros excellent value in Gran Alacant.

Quick sale needed.

199.000 euros ono Detached property in Puerto Marina. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, Immaculately furnished Alarmed, Central heating, Log fire, Hot & Cold air con, open fields to the rear, Private parking, Communal pools.

966.699.478 after 5 pm.

Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant 209,000 euros 3 Double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes 2 bathrooms, spacious kitchen with galleria Lounge complete with

chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private Parking. A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2 built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire, Under build, Alarmed, Mature Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates. 260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken.

Walking distance to all local amenities in GA Detached Villa with large pool. Decoratively tiled Garden, complete with BBQ. Est. palm & fruit trees. 3 bed, 3 bath, Fully Furnished including all electrical appliances.

Quick sale needed, 270.000 euros, but very negotiable. For appointment to view call 966 699 478 after 5pm Top floor duplex in Puerto Marina, G/Alacant 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, glazed-in porch, large roof-top solarium with views, Top quality furniture and appliances

SIGN WRITING

included. Secure private parking, communal pools, 108,000 euros. If you would like to view call 627 711 155 for an immediate appointment.

LIMITED EDITION One of only a few bungalows in Gran Alacant. Top of the range furniture and appliances included. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large kitchen, leading to galleria, huge roof top solarium with fantastic views of Alicante and mountains. Electronic gates leading to garage, 500m2 plot, 10x5 pool with irrigated gardens By appointment only, ring 680333242 325.000 ono Large family Home in Izla de Izaro, G.A (bajo) 4 bed, 3 bath, stunning communal pool with Jacuzzi & water features. Children’s play area and fantastic communal gardens. Very high standard throughout, Large converted under build & garage, elec.

Gates Alarmed, A/con, outside kitchen and bathroom, 399.000 ono. To view call 966699136 after 5pm.

Monte Y Mar - Gran Alacant Detached Villa with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge-diner, front porch, Large solarium with views. 400m2 plot Low maintenance irrigated gardens, Private pool & Parking. Tastefully furnished throughout and everything included.

Recently Reduced to 239.000 euros. For more details call 627.711.155 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground park-

REMOVALS

REMOVALS

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

ing direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace.

This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

TRANSLATOR

SINGLES NEW VENTURE - Meet interesting individuals for friendships, socialising, trips etc. Single people only - all nationalities - all ages. Santa Pola. For more info call Sarah 680173140. (48)

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, accident claims, legalise land.

Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor. (48)

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service.

Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (51)

WANTED

Recovery & Breakdown Services

46

Thursday, January 13, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES presents an exclusive new weekly Golf Column - only in The Courier

NO PUTTS ABOUT IT, GOLF NEEDS LADIES

I ADORE the ladies and I am a strong advocate of women playing golf.

But sometimes you have to take a step back and smile.

They have many attributes on a golf course, the wafting of perfume across the course, the way they take care, and their appearance.

Now that’s where it starts!

I have this theory that the ladies enjoy golf better than the male species as it is a calming pastime. We, the male gender, regard it as a test of aggression and masculine power.

In fact, golf requires feminine qualities more than any other sport.

Rear we go as Now you may Paula lines up putt think that I have finally flipped, but think about it a little more.

It is a game that requires the hands to be soft, swings that are smooth; it responds well to gentle rhythms.

The good game is about persuasion rather than power.

Golf is better suited to the iron and land in a pond and subtle patience of a woman they take a five wood, a than the abrupt temperament wedge and a putt from the of the men. same place and mention that Now, you may think that it is the sensible way to play? women are better golfers and Why is it we males throw are more sensible than men, clubs, swear and grind our but I will continue. teeth, while the ladies disHow can you explain why miss the poor shot with a flirt men try to blast the ball into and shrug of the shoulders? orbit, when women have a Why is it that they look pitirelaxed and easy swing? fully at us when we shout Why is it we take a seven abuse at the slow fourball

Paula Creamer, the glamour girl of US golf

There’s no better way to discover what hubby-to-be is REALLY like

ahead or threaten to punch the lights out of the two-ball for hitting a shot close to us?

As I see the answers, it is getting rid of all the male frustrations, and conditioning over the years. The frustrations we suffer on the golf course is nothing to do with playing badly; it’s because brute strength is not solving the problems.

I’ve heard of various methods of slowing the swing down and getting the right rhythm. Such as thinking of a name like Severiano Ballesteros, so the back swing and down swing would follow the tempo Se-ve-ria-no (backswing) Bal-les-teros (downswing).

Mine is Chip Beck bang lost ball.

Some use melodic tunes in their heads after playing them in the car on the way to the course. From some of the examples I have seen, they have played the William Tell overture.

These smooth quiet swings are what the ladies

have in abundance, but we need our physiological patterns more when we actually play with the ladies.

What does fascinate me is when a man and his wife decide to retire, start to play a round (which is nice), and spend their autumnal years playing golf in the sun together as golfing partners.

I am convinced that this golfing activity has led to an increase in over-60 divorces.

Perhaps any couple who are considering marriage should play a round of golf together first. It is totally different from sleeping together before getting married, as a pre-nuptial game of golf will give the little lady a clear indication of what living with him will be like.

It takes a hell of a lot for a married couple to be golfing partners - like, patience, resilience, good humour and forgiveness. And that’s just for starters.

The essential differences which must be taken into account are:

The Golf Bag

Women prepare their golf bag with consideration for the fact that there could be a nuclear attack while they are on the course.

So in addition to the 14 clubs, there’s Jelly Babies, bottles of water, insect repellents, sun creams, Band Aids, Revlon Lipstick and Chanel No: 5 perfume.

In addition, there will be tropical clothing and thermals plus jumpers and waterproofs when the ambient temperature is 100 degrees in the shade.

But still I think women are really great to play with, they

bring a great deal of sanctity and aroma to the day, with their feminine ways and smiles.

There are times, however, when they do just a little get under your skin, like when they sink a 20-foot putt, and they know it has an upsetting effect on us males, then as they pick the ball from the hole they are heard to say, “There are times I would hate to play against me” But it all goes away when as a true gentleman, you remove your cap (well you should) and get a kiss on each cheek as reward – LOVE IT!

TITTER ON THE TEE

FROM the day of their wedding the young wife has been nagging about her husband’s past.

He arrives home from golf one Saturday and she demands: “How many women have you slept with?”

“Darling if I told you, you would be very angry”, he replies.

“No, no - I promise I won’t,” she begs.

“Well if you insist. Let’s see, One…Two…Three…

Four… YOU… Six… Seven.

Spot-fix Essex star faces prison FORMER Essex cricketer Mervyn Westfield could face jail after pleading guilty to spot-fixing during a Pro40 match between Essex and Durham.

He is the first English cricketer to be charged with match-related corruption offences. Westfield, 23, admitted at the Old Bailey to accepting or obtaining a

corrupt payment to bowl in a way that would allow the scoring of runs.

During the match in September 2009, he conceded 60 runs from seven overs, with two no-balls and four wides.

The court heard that he agreed to bowl the first over so that 12 runs could be scored, but only 10 were achieved.

Judge Anthony Morris said that the name of the other party involved in the deal would be known to cricket fans, but it was not revealed in court.

He adjourned sentencing until February 10, saying: "It's open to the court in this case to pass an immediate custodial sentence."

47

Thursday, January 13, 2012

SICK ON THE DRAW It feels like defeat as Dimitry sounds last post for the leaders Albatera 2 CD Montesinos 2

DESPITE dropping two points, CD Montesinos remain at the top of the 2nd Regional Division, Group 17.

No, it’s not Olympic gymnastics training, just Montesinos’s Peluso getting a headful of the boot-iful game as played by Albatera’s high kickers

They came into this game as league leaders following an excellent first half of the season, but with the Christmas fiestas bringing a temporary stop to the programme, it was important to get something from this, the first game of the New Year.

After a forgettable first 45 minutes which saw Montesinos dominating without causing the home defence too many problems, Monte fell behind to a superbly executed free kick from Albatera. And despite having the better of the first half, including hitting the woodwork, they went in at the break 1-0 down.

Manager Juanpe gave the Monte players their usual grilling at half-time and substituted a defender for a forward as Vazquinho was added to the forward line.

Despite the visitors dominating the game and having the best chances, it was Albetera who increased their lead on the break, leaving Montesinos 2-0 down and looking doomed to their second defeat of the season.

However, they refused to be beaten. First, substitute Vazquinho finished off a good

move when he lobbed the advancing keeper - and then, with seven minutes to go, Montesinos were awarded a clear penalty which the young Andres blasted high into the net.

Not content with pulling the game back, Monte went in search of the winner, and almost got it with the last kick - or header in this case. Dimitry headed the ball against the post and the Montesinos fans, who made up half the crowd, starting to celebrate before realising there was no goal.

When the final whistle blew, a share of the points felt a little like a defeat, although coming back from two goals down away from home to snatch a draw is never easy to achieve.

This Sunday, CD Montesinos have a HOME game against another side challenging for top spot, as they entertain RAFAL. Kick off is at 4pm in Los Montesinos.

For additional information regarding CD Montesinos or their Internacional Supporters’ Club, The Full Monte, take a look at www.cdmontesinos.com, email thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or telephone 637 869 602.

In association with CajaMurcia

Get up off your grass, Nani!

2011 was the dottiest year ever for odd sports stories. We continue our selection of bizarre items from around the globe which mostly DIDN’T hit the headlines last year...

IT was revealed - well, he was grassed up by a mate - that Manchester United winger Nani had had a life-sized statue of himself made, which he had delivered and placed in the middle of his lounge in his mansion in Cheshire.

NANI continues to earn the best terrace chant in UK football. The ease with which he hits the grass often attracts the chant, to the tune of Smooth Criminal: “Nani are you okay, are you okay, are you okay Nani?”

A SUNDERLAND fan who was traumatised by being knocked out cold by a 20yard Exocet from Djibril Cisse was offered the unusual compensation of being able to watch the team train from behind the goal.

FORMER world snooker champion Steve Davis - never one for excitement - was offered a guest DJ spot on BBC6 and asked if he could play an hour-long track by Aussie jazz trance group The Necks.

BENFICA captain Luisao excitedly threw his shirt into the crowd when his team won the League Cup. Fans narked that their team had just lost their league title to the upstarts of Porto threw it back at him.

CANADA’S XI at the Cricket World Cup came as a surprise - the teamsheet for the first game read: Gunasekera, Kumar, Surkari, Bagai, Hansra, Cheema, Gordon, Chohan, Baidwan, Osinde and Bajali Rao. SANDBACH United in Cheshire suffered a unique pitch invasion when several gypsy families set up camp on their ground. The groundsman was alarmed to find 11 caravans and several 4x4s on his turf.

NEW £23m Barcelona signing Alexis Sanchez turned up to unveiled in a simple white teeshirt. He was quietly told it was the colour of Real Madrid.

Somebody lent him a black polo shirt for the cameras.

UAE midfielder Theyab Awana, 21, won YouTube fame by scoring with a backheeled penalty against Lebanon. He was killed a few weeks later when he drove his sports car into a lorry while messaging on his BlackBerry.

AN international match between Myanmar v Oman was abandoned by the alarmed referee when the crowd erupted over a penalty he’d awarded and hundreds of home fans’ shoes were flung on to the pitch.

A SOUTH American football reporter doing his piece to camera in Peru ran

A BRILLIANT clash of names you couldn’t make up in a minor non-league game south revealed the no-nonsense defender Chris Dumper up against the wonderfully-monikered striker Marco Quasimodo. screaming for his life when he was approached by an alpaca - a domesticated animal about the size of a sheep bred for its wool.

TWO Bayern Munich fans were caught having sex on a plastic seat in the stand during the first half of a slow-moving game at Hoffenheim. They were politely asked to stop by minders, but remounted at half-time.

WINTER Olympics speed-skating star Wang Deng was banned from the Chinese national team until further notice after getting blind drunk following a tournament and punching her male coach’s lights out.

ANDY Murray struck a blow for any Scots sports heroes bidding to make the Top Ten Bizarre Sports Injuries Of All Time when he sheepishly revealed he had inconveniently strained a buttock muscle in his sleep.

EARLY Euro ties brought out a truly Klingon XI: Vorm (Hol), Zmeu (Mol), Vunk (Est), Dag (Aus), Xhaka (Sz), Sparv (Fin), Srna (Cro), Vrapi (Alb), Kink (Est), Zec (Bos), Clingan (NI). Subs: Rat, Kirm, Saag, Bakaj, Purje.

ALL-BLACK tough-guy Piri Weepu came off after a victory over Canada in his home ground in the autumn Rugby World Cup to be warmly hugged and kissed by a burly security guard. Turned out it was his mum.

A CRACKPOT plan for scantily-clad girls on quad bikes to herd 1,000 sheep through the streets of Auckland to attract a bit of interest for the Rugby World Cup was shelved at the last minute owing to “sheep stress”.

AJAX’S Danish wonderkid Christian Eriksen probably now wishes he hadn’t said to Dutch TV: “I'm just not into the Dutch girls. I do not think the standard is good, because there are too many ugly ones.”

OLYMPIC killjoys vowed to sue the Redneck Olympics in Maine. Medal events included lawnmower-racing, pie-eating, mud bellyflops and a toilet seat-hurling contest. They were opened by a man dressed as a pig.

MARIO Balotelli invited four chums round in the early hours of the morning of a Manchester derby and set his £3million rented house ablaze by setting off fireworks and wanging them through the bathroom window.

More Dotties next week

48

Friday, January 13, 2012

WAYNE LOONY A deal has GOT to be done to get troublesome Carlos Tevez off Manchester City’s books

The Roonster is a bit daft – but £60m Manchester City move is plain loco THE January transfer window has not exactly exploded into life yet - but Carlos Tevez and Wayne Rooney have featured strongly.

A deal for Tevez has GOT to be done with AC Milan - or anyone really- just to get the troublesome Argie off Manchester City's back.

Rooney has also been mentioned as a transfer possibility after his meal-deal spat with Sir Alex Ferguson. The England striker was left sitting in the stands for the game against Blackburn after performing poorly in training following a night out and a meal with two colleagues and their partners.

It rebounded badly on Sir Alex as United went down 3-2 in front of their own fans at Old Trafford to

STEVE BOTT reports

a team struggling to stay in the Premier League. But the rumour mill went into overdrive and I myself predicted a Beckham, Keane, Stam-type scenario unfolding.

I recoiled in horror, though, when one media outlet actually ran a story saying MANCHESTER CITY were going to bid £60 million for The Roonster.

Now, Manchester City nicking Tevez off us was one thing - and look what they ended up with there! But Rooney? Well, like Paul Gascoigne before him he is a bit daft, but he is also a world-class player. Right up there with Lionel Messi, Pele, Maradona and, yes, even George Best. So please, Fergie, don't sell him especially not to the Noisy Neighbours!

Southampton is a bit of a breeding ground for talent and now the big boys are chasing left-back Luke Shaw. Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester fancy him and no wonder when you recall the progress another former Southampton left back has made with

Tottenham and Wales. Step forward and take a bow, Gareth Bale.

Speaking of Tottenham , manager Harry Redknapp is chasing French striker Loic Remy. Whether he will be put off by Marseille's £22 million price tag remains to be seen.

Bolton's bid to break away from the Premier League relegation zone could get a lift if they land the kid being dubbed the "new Messi"- Juan Manuel Iturbe. The 18-year-old Argentinian is also fancied by Chelsea and Manchester United but Bolton boss Owen Coyle has spoken to Porto with a view to taking Iturbe on loan.

Deal of the week, though, has to be Fergie's success in persuading Paul Scholes to come out of retirement. However long it lasts, Scholes is quality and can only add to any squad as long as he is still able to put one foot in front of the other!