The Courier Week 53

Edition 53

www.thecourier.es

Friday, February 24, 2012

KIDS v COPS Schoolchildren in street war with police over cuts

WHY WE LOVE THE COURIER

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THE Courier’s first birthday knees-up was given a massive boost last Friday - by happy advertisers eager to sing the praises of the fastest growing newspaper in Spain.

More than 120 guests attended a celebratory party to mark our first 52 weeks in business.

And written testimonials praising the power of Courier advertising poured in from all angles.

Nike, manageress of Cafe Golf in San Javier, said: “The Courier is always informative, and we always get a great response from the adverts.’’

Darren of Glazing Systems Direct, said: “I am very pleased with the amount of leads I receive from advertising with the Courier.’’ And

CHILDREN clashed with police this week in violent scenes on the streets of Valencia during a protest over conditions in crisis-hit schools.

The protest, which started last week, turned violent on Monday with claims of police brutality as demonstrators were arrested.

By AMANDA BLACK TV news broadcasts of national police hitting, pushing and kicking 14 and 15 of police, Antonio Moreno, year olds, ignited widespread caused further outrage on anger amid fears that the Monday by describing the protest would spread across students as “the enemy”. He denied police had acted the country.

By Tuesday, thousands in aggressively, insisting their Valencia, including parents response had been proporand teachers, had turned out tional.

Justice Minister Alberto to support the youngsters and to demonstrate against Ruiz-Gallardón was quick to not only the education cuts support the police, maintainbut also the strong-arm ing in a radio interview that they were “forced to act” after police tactics.

Similar protests sprang up they had been “violently in Alicante and Madrid, attacked”.

But, in the face of further where police armed with rubpublic outcry, Interior Minister ber bullets and shields kept a close watch. Valencia’s chief Jorge Fernández Diaz said he believed police in Valencia may have used “some excessive force”.

With news images of the violence being beamed around the world, Spanish PM Mariano Rajoy was forced to interrupt his visit with David Cameron in the UK to call for calm.

“If everyone acts with

1942 and all that

TORREVIEJA’S municipal leader got it wrong when he went looking for the town’s longest-wed couple recently.

Mayor Eduardo Dolón gave his Valentine’s Day award to Félix Iglesias and Felisa Chico, who tied the knot fully 65 years ago .

But the Courier was not totally conTurn to Page 17 vinced - and sure enough, we tracked

down a pair of vintage 1942 newlyweds in Louisa and Leslie Harris.

The expat Londoners celebrate 70 YEARS of marriage on August 1 - and since the Mayor wasn’t around to acknowledge their achievement (or maybe he was too embarrassed to show himself), we made our own presentation of a bumper bouquet. Full story, Page 3

Turn to Page 2

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Friday, February 24, 2012

You’re all stalk, there’s no such thing as an ape vine, TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 1003 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

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Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

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FIRE TRAGEDY RACER HAD JUST SIGNED NEW DEAL THE YOUNG Brit burnt to death in a blaze in Granada last week was a professional racing driver - and a family friend of prominent local businessman Brent Savage and his wife Linda.

The Savages, from Los Montesinos, were stunned when they learnt that the victim of the widely publicised fire was Michael Greenhalgh, whose father Clive owned the famed Gaudix racetrack and had helped Brent to stage events in the past few years.

Bangkok-born Michael - known as Mike - moved to Spain with his parents 16 years ago - when he was 14.

A professional driver/instructor, he raced GT3 in an Ascar works car in 2007/8 and had signed a new sponsorship deal only days before his death.

Brent, whose motor-racing involvement includes having run Damon Hill in his first race in 1983, operated a racing team in the UK from 1982 – 90. Since last May, he has been running Total Automoviles, a car garage near the Zoco Market in Quesada.

He told The Courier: “I was with Mike at the Guadix circuit on February 8 watching another driver and friend, James Nash, testing the new Ford works touring car run by AON. “Linda and I learned about the accident whilst driving to Altea the following Monday - five days later.

Monday Sunny High 18° Low 6° Chance of rain 2%

“Clive, Mike’s dad, phoned us to tell us what happened. I couldn’t speak for three hours” He added: “I first met Clive at Guadix five years ago. He and Mike helped me to put a Ginetta G20 Championship on in Spain - the help from Mike was fantastic.

“I have been involved with the family over the last five years. Mike helped to run a restaurant with his mother, Bumma. He was a fantastic cook.’’

Most of the current F1 drivers tested at Gaudix their earlier years and the bond between the Greenhalghes and the.Savages is strengthened by the fact that Brent’s son Mark is an ex Formula One mechanic.

Mike is believed to have been overcome by fumes when the apartment he was in caught fire whilst he was looking after it for a friend. l GUARDAMAR will stage its traditional Day of the Tree celebrations tomorrow (Saturday, 11am-1pm) in the town’s pine forest. Starting point is the Ingeniero Mira promenade walk, opposite the Reina Sofia Park finishing at the Forest Nursery..

The festival has been celebrated in the town since 1904 and will feature the planting of stone and Aleppo pine, kermes oak and black hawthorn plants. Those planting the trees will be awarded a diploma accrediting the event.

Anyone wishing to be involved should contact the Department of Environment on 965 729 014 or email maguardamar@gmail.com

Friday Sunny High 18° Low 2° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 18° Low 6° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Showers High 20° Low 8° Chance of rain 60%

Wednesday Showers High 18° Low 8° Chance of rain 60%

Courier tributes From Page One in Torrevieja, Elite Hair and Beauty cooed: “The Courier is our chosen paper for advertising because of its friendly customer services and low advertising costs within a great local paper.’’

Turn to the Centre Pages for all the fun of our birthday bash. Guests are still talking about the big night at Rocky’s in Playa Flamenca. Those who have sobered up, that is...

Sunday Sunny High 21° Lo 9° Chance of rain 7% Thursday Partly cloudy High 15° Lo 7° Chance of rain 55%

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Friday, February 24, 2012

Councillors Bob Houliston and Carolina Garcia (on his right) with representatives of local business and parent/teachers groups in Orihuela

BLOOMIN’ MARVELS!

Mayor got it wrong...Louisa and Leslie claim bouquet after 69 years of marriage

TORREVIEJA mayor Eduardo Dolón honoured Félix Iglesias and Felisa Chico on Valentine’s Day as the town’s longest-wed couple.

But he got it wrong.

Félix and Felisa tied the knot fully 65 years ago. But after reading about their achievement in last week’s Courier, expat couple Louisa and Leslie Harris got in touch to scoff: “Sixty-five years, that’s nothing! Well have been married 70 years come August”.

Their marathon marriage came to light too late for them to win the mayor’s Valentine’s Day award. So this week, the Courier sent them a big bunch of flowers instead.

Louisa and Leslie’s romance began when they met as teenagers in north London, where they both lived.

Part of the same group of friends, the pair quickly became inseparable. They wed in a small wartime servBy AMANDA BLACK ice in Islington on August 1, 1942 when Louisa was just small plot of land in 17 and Leslie 18.

Torrevieja and a caravan for Only three months later their holidays. That was 40 there were tearful farewells years ago and now they live when Leslie was wrenched in a mobile home on the away to war, leaving a pregsame site in Misol Park. nant Louisa behind.

“We loved Torrevieja from They were to see little of the start,” says Louisa, recalleach other over the next four ing how when it was less years and, like so many other busy than today the local couples at the time, had to shop workers used to insist make do with letters to keep on carrying her shopping their love alive. home so they could practise By the time Leslie finally their English. returned for good in 1946, “We feel unbelievably the pair had two sons, Leslie and Ronnie. And although lucky to be living here,” she Louisa had a good job as a adds.

Their family love it here, seamstress and Leslie worked as a builder, finan- too. Their son Leslie has also cially things were not always moved to Torrevieja and their many grandchildren and easy for the young family.

Then in the mid-50s life great grandchildren like to took a turn for the better visit.

So what is the secret of when Leslie landed a job working in the props depart- their long and happy marment of newly formed televi- riage?

“Stay by one another,” sion station, ITV. “That put us on our feet,” says Louisa quickly. “If he needs me, I’m there. If I need says Louisa.

With a little more money him, he’s there.” behind them, the pair could Are there any Courier escape the daily grind and readers who can beat Louisa really start to enjoy life – and Leslie’s record? Let us which they did by buying a know and we’ll do the rest.

AUGUST 1942...Louisa and Leslie on their Wedding Day

IT’S COSTA CARNIVAL TIME IN ORIHUELA

IT’S carnival time on the Orihuela Costa this weekend - so get yourself ready to join in the party spirit.

Event organisers promise an explosion of sound and colour as some 13 floats make their way from Calle Nícolas de Bussí to the Playa Flamenca Mercadona car park on Saturday.

The procession starts at 6pm and by the time the last float reaches Mercadona, the party should be in full swing in the marquee set up on the site. A host of entertainers will take to the stage, and a bar and snacks will keep revellers going.

Prizes will be awarded for the best float, best dance and best costume. And there will be a special presentation to seven-year-old Alisa Kasakova, whose colourful design (above) was chosen as the image to promote the carnival on advertising posters.

This year’s carnival has come about thanks to a collaboration between Orihuela Costa town hall, local schools and business group Pro Orihuela Costa Platforma.

The councillor for fiestas in Orihuela, Carolina Gracia, hailed the event as being important for the spirit of integration and said it would mean “everybody can feel part of the municipality”.

Coastal councillor Bob Houliston said he was “very impressed with everybody’s efforts and the strength of the civic bond that has been shown by the residents of the coast, even in these difficult financial times”.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

WILL THEY NEVER BLEEDING STOP?

HERE we go again. Just when we think top bosses have Yes, there are many people who find it difficult living on at last got the message and they cannot keep bleeding limited means and lack skills in buying wisely and making workers and the public dry, comes another classic money last. example of them taking the p**s.

Yes, there are people who do silly things like taking on a I refer to the revelation that top civil servants (the man- pet when they can't afford it, and don't realise how expendarins of the like of Humphrey, who we loved to hate in Yes sive animals are to keep.

Minister) have managed to negotiate deals to get replaceBut Edwina is the very last person to be lecturing. She has ment clothes if they snag their tights or rip a silk blouse. lived a privileged lifestyle, has not experienced life on the These pains in the backside have successfully negotiated other side of the street. Here's an example of "the great and themselves an additional 2.5 ‘privilege’ days off a year, as good" who, because of their lifestyle, are not living in the real well as the women being able to automatically claim £4.50 world. and £40 compensation for replacing those damaged tights In fact they are a disgrace and to describe them as ‘’the and blouses. great and good’’ is actually an insult. The likes of Edwina It's all been revealed in a leaked dossier to a national Currie should be a lot more careful what they say. newspaper, which shows that top civil servants, who already Schoolchildren should be given lifestyle lessons to equip earn a small fortune, are claiming for things like damaged them to cope in the harsh world of today and stress the need handbags, clothing and shoes – items that we mere mortals for people not to rush to have pets or start a family until they would go to the shops and replace at our own expense. can afford them.

The government has proudly claimed it is achieving a I believe there is one action the government could take to leaner and meaner Whitehall, so it is quite obvious that min- make the present situation much better for parents, and isters have no idea that this ridiculous nonsense has been that's to end their benefits and channel funds to provide free going on under their noses. childcare. That would release parents to get out to work and It's been costing taxpayers a small fortune for years - and help support the family. is a national scandal. The same scandal that has allowed But those jobs must be made available for them - and not top bosses to award themselves huge annual pay awards while at the same time plotting in their boardrooms to keep employees' pay as low as possible, often denying rises altogether.

Thank goodness for whistle-blowers bringing these scandals out into the open. Long may it continue.

I HOPE that the current inquiry into the antics of the worst dregs of the Press does not attempt to gag newspapers and television from their vital role. The "great and the good" hate being exposed for the greedy wretches many actually are - and will do their damndest to try to stifle scandals like these from reaching the public domain.

The problem with government is that employees have powerful unions and government management is weak.

Managements are prepared to give in to union pressure because it is not actually their money at stake but the public purse.

The result is, after decades of such abuse, government spending out of all control. It's bad enough in Britain, it’s hugely worse in other parts of Europe and that's why the European Union is in such a mess now. Shame we're still part of it.

Memo to David Cameron: Axe the perks, sort out their massive inflation-proof pensions, and question whether Britain really needs half of the civil servants currently on the payroll.

If they still insist on clothing replacement, issue them with a uniform, perhaps with a badge declaring "I am a greedy civil servant."

I think it is important to emphasise here that these are the top civil servants, not the many government employees and workers for councils who, until now have enjoyed often better conditions than in the private sector, but who are now forced into the real world.

All this takes me conveniently on to the disgraceful spat on a radio programme recently between fat cat Edwina Currie and a young mother struggling to make ends meet trying to feed her children during Britain's economic woes.

Edwina's comments reduced the woman to tears when she suggested the young mum had lived life to the full during the good years and was struggling to maintain the same living standards now. She also hit out at the woman feeding the pet dog and claiming poverty.

Edwina Currie: Looking at this impartially, yes, Edwina was The last person right in saying many people enjoyed the good life to be lecturing in the good times, not saving for a rainy day.

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the endless ferry/plane load of people from abroad taking jobs in the UK. THERE's a looming crisis over large parts of Britain which we will be hearing about over the coming months - rainfall way below average leading to a severe water shortage.

Hosepipe restrictions and more Draconian measures are on the cards because reservoir levels are as much as 60 per cent lower than they should be at this time of year over much of Eastern and South Eastern England.

However, rainfall in the UK has still been much higher than over much of Spain and perhaps water authorities should take a long, hard look at how the Spanish authorities manage to supply the population with the water they need.

Perhaps people in Britain should also take lessons on how to conserve water and not waste it. One way to achieve this would be to raise prices for water so people realise it's a valuable commodity not to be poured down the drain.

ONE story which hit the headlines last week concerned a study carried out among Brits which showed that bagging a bargain in the shops got people more excited than love at first sight.

Spotting a bogof (buy one get one free) in the supermarket apparently elated women more than the prospect of a date with a Hollywood hunk. And it was almost the same for the men - the prospect of a good deal in the shops excited them more than watching a football match or having a beer.

The study was carried out by neuropsychologists who wired up "recruits" and watched their reactions when they were shown a range of discounted products they could buy.

The results astounded the researchers, who watched women get carried away at the prospect of £150 off a new washing machine - far more so than seeing a Hollywood heart throb. One woman's heartbeat reached 187 beats per minute when she was shown a sign to save 85p on a shower gel.

I don't really need to comment on this sad indictment of people. Is there any hope for society when its citizens are as shallow as this?

Now I want all you readers to think really seriously about how fast you walk and how hard you grip when you shake hands. Because it's important for your health.

Research has shown that people aged around 65 who walk briskly are far less likely to develop dementia than those who just meander along. And those who give a hearty handshake are less likely to develop a heart condition.

It is being suggested to doctors that they watch their patients and shake hands with them because it's a means to pinpoint future health problems.

It does not happen in all cases, but is sufficient to make the results extremely interesting.

So, get putting your best foot forward, folks, and next time you shake someone's hand avoid being a limp fish!

On the subject of health, we visited a woman recently who had taken a tumble on the granite floor of her home. It resulted in her having surgery on her back which has confined her to a wheelchair. We hope she will recover, but it's sad that this once highly active person is laid so low.

It emphasises how important it is to be aware how hard the floors are in Spain and perhaps to install non-slip surfaces to those areas like stairs or where the floor is likely to get wet and highly slippery.

Finally, we went to the airport last week to find out the prices airlines charge to transport a dog back to the UK. We were astonished to learn that Ryanair, Easyjet and Monarch do not take pets on their aircraft at Alicante.

We now want to find out whether any airline does, and if any reader has any info on this, would they please contact me at tonymayes2000@hotmail.co.uk In the past we have driven to and fro but a two-hour flight is far less stressful than 48 hours travelling by road.

If airlines don't take pets on their planes, it must be a contributory factor to the large number of abandoned pets here in Spain.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

WAR SCRIBE MARIE IN HOMS TRAGEDY SUNDAY Times reporter Marie Colvin was killed in a shelling attack on Tuesday while reporting from war-torn Syria.

The highly-respected war correspondent (pictured) was one of two journalists to lose their lives in the besieged city of Homs when shells hit the house they were staying in.

French photographer Remi Ochlik also died when a makeshift media centre was attacked by Syrian regime forces.

The victims were reportedly hit by a rocket as they tried to escape. Homs has been under siege from forces loyal to President Bashar alAssad since February 4. The news of Colvin’s death came just hours after the foreign correspondent had reported on the “sickening scenes” in the war-torn city.

In a report for the BBC and CNN, Colvin said: “I watched a little baby die

OOMPAH, oompah, Herr Willi is about to brass San Luis off!

He and his Alpengold

today. Absolutely horrific There is just shells, rockets and tank fire pouring into civilian areas of this city and it is just unrelenting.”

The veteran journalist had reported for the Sunday Times at the weekend, where she described how citizens were “waiting for a massacre”. She wrote: “The scale of human tragedy in the city is immense. The inhabitants are living in terror. Almost every family seems to have suffered the death or injury of a loved one.”

The dedicated reporter, who was the only British journalist in Homs, wore an eye patch after losing an eye in 2001 due to a shrapnel wound while working in Sri Lanka. Colvin spoke passionately about the role of war reporters at a service commemorating journalists killed in conflict 15 months ago.

Oompah Band are putting on a show at Casa Ventura on March 7 for the benefit of the Stroke Support Group.

The action starts at 8.30pm and entrance is €3.

Also on the bill is cabaret with The La Marina Tappers.

TORREVIEJA LOSES CANCER FACILITY

TORREVIEJA is to lose a valuable cancerprevention facility with the winding up of the AECC prostate screening programme.

The decision to end the programme was reluctantly taken this week by the local branch of the charity (Asociación Española Contra El Cancer) because it is not in a position to continue with the scheme.

In order to minimise disruption, men currently in the programme whose annual check-up is due within the next three months will still be seen, as will men needing control appointments after suspect results.

However, no new registrations can be taken.

“By making this announcement immediately it is the branch’s hope that we can minimise any difficulties which individuals may

experience,” said Alan James, committee member and prostate programme co-ordinator.

For the time being, the AECC office in Calle la Calera will remain open as usual and English-speaking volunteers will be on hand to deal with enquiries on Wednesday mornings.

The AECC has been working in Torrevieja for many years promoting and subsidising the cost of cancer screening checks so that nobody need miss out on these vital, lifesaving health checks.

Breast and cervical screening programmes will continue as normal.

For more information visit the AECC office or phone 965 716 679.

See Letters, Page 17

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Friday, February 24, 2012

TOMMY HOT Chef tames Rayz blaze ONLY the actions of a quickthinking chef prevented Rayz Bar living up to its name on Monday evening - and being razed to the ground!

Tom Ross’s emergency training was put to the test when an industrial frier oveheated at the popular El Raso haunt and the kitchen burst into flames.

The young chef instantly threw a teatowel over the blaze, grabbed a fire extinguisher and drowned the flames with foam.

The fire still caused around

£1,000 worth of damage and put the kitchens out of action for 24 hours, but relieved bar owner Claire Tyson told The Courier: ‘’It could have been so much worse but for Tom’s quick thinking. ‘’I’d just spent around on refurbishing the whole bar and now I’ll have to buy new friers and other kitchen equipment.

But Idread to think what would have happened had the fire really caught hold. The whole neighbourhood could have gone up in smoke.’’

Mystery of new body in manhunt house

THE body of a young man was found yesterday (Thursday) at the house where double-murder suspect Stephen Farrow was arrested.

Tom and Police said the death of the Claire...hot man in Black Bull Road, and bothered Folkestone, was being treated as non-suspicious and a post-mortem examination will be held.

Sources said it was the same property where Farrow was detained on Sunday following a tip-off from the public after Avon and Somerset Police launched a nationwide manhunt.

Farrow, 47, of no fixed address, was remanded in custody yesterday charged with the murders of vicar John Suddards, 59, and retired teacher Betty Yates, 77.

The discovery of the man's body is not believed to be linked to their deaths. One source said it is believed to THREE American warships are on their way to a new home near Gibraltar. be drugs-related.

Rev Suddards was found The guided-missile destroyers Ross, Donald Cook and Porter will move dead at his home in from their current base in Norfolk, Virginia to the US base at Rota, close Thornbury, Gloucs, on to the Rock.

February 14. Mrs Yates’ The ships are being sent to Spain to help "beef-up" Europe's Ballistic Missile Defence sys- body was found at the bottems. The news was originally released in October 2011 but it was not until last week that full tom of stairs at her home details of the move were released by the US navy. near the River Severn on The first two vessels, USS Ross and USS Donald Cook, will arrive sometime after October January 4.

2013 and the USS Porter will move in 2015.

America’s Navy Secretary, Ray Mabus, said: "We welcome Spain's partnership in stationing four US Navy Aegis ships at Naval Station Rota.

“We have a long history of cooperation between our two countries and we have developed significant interoperability between our naval forces."

Military.com website says a fourth ship, the Floridabased USS Carney, will also move to Spain in 2015.

The Miami Herald says the ships are being sent to Spain "under a NATO plan designed to protect Europe from a potential Iranian nuclear threat.

“Each is equipped with the sophisticated Aegis radar system, enabling them to track and shoot down ballistic missiles."

THE Cardinal Belluga Theatre Group have raised over any younger!

Each ship has a crew of 10,000 euros for local charities in La Marina and San “If there’s anyone out around 280, and families of Fulgencio over the past six years. there who would like to crew members will be given And no one is more amazed by the achievement than join us, we are currently the option of moving to the members themselves. rehearsing for our next Spain.

“The intention was always there right from the start, to production in May and put something back into would love to meet you.’’. the community,’’ said a Those interested should spokesman for the group. go along on a Monday “But what we didn’t appre- afternoon to the theatre in ciate was all the fun we San Fulgencio but for more would have on the way. information please call “Many of our members Maria on 966715891 have been ‘treading the Our picture shows boards’ since we started in Cardinal Belluga Theatre 2005. Some even before Group members hand over that, which inevitably donations to the Butterfly means we are not getting Children, K9 and PAWS.

US WARSHIPS EN ROUTE TO ROTA The USS Ross...on its way to new base in Spain

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THE British Consul in Alicante attended to more than 2,000 problems last year - and most could have been resolved if citizens were more aware of their rights living in Spain.

Around 200 Algorfa residents heard Paul Rodwell explain that they had to register on their local padron or census list so as not to lose a large number of assistance services and health rights.

He also advised them to integrate at a daily level to get to know their local health system and pensions - and suggested they join a club or class to learn Spanish. And he reminded them that cuts in spending from the Generalitat would also affect British residents. The event was also attended by the Mancommunidad of Social Services in La Vega and deputy Mayor Conchi Sánchez

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TRUMP CARDS!

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Friday, February 24, 2012

THE LOCKY HORROR SHOW

I’VE written about it before, but there are so many ‘walk-in robbery’ stories flying about my urbanisation that I’ve decide to rehash the tale of my most embarrassing evening in Spain.

Basically, the Locky Horror Show is a warning to newby expats and the less security conscious that if you have the sort of front door that locks itself if you shut it from the outside, a burglar can get into your home in less than FIVE SECONDS. And so can I, so can my lodger; and so, with five minutes ‘training, could my sixyear-old grandson.

I discovered the trick five years ago in bizarre circumstances – and it came as one hell of a shock to learn just how easy it is to enter someone else’s home illegally. If you are not aware of the problem, you’ll be stunned at just how vulnerable your home is.

(Presses rehash key for Grumpy articles written circa 2007) It still counts as just about my most embarrassing moment in Spain. I'd been in my villa near Guardamar just a few months when I managed to lock myself out.

OK, most of us have done it - but in light of subsequent events, I now realise there was something unusual about the way I had to pay through the nose for the privilege of getting through my own front front door... door. babbling family entourage, Like most of the houses she failed to realise that her My younger daughter, her husband and their three kids around me, when one shuts house key was not in her were staying at the time and the door from the outside, the handbag - but dangling on the we were all in high spirits lock triggers and you need a inside of the front door.

One locked door and seemwhen we arrived home late key to get back in. Anyway, at that balmy summer's night. the time this particular fool ingly no way back in. And one Until I attempted to open the went out, surrounded by her stupid woman who, not realis-

ing that the key needed to be turned twice in the lock to fully operate the security mechanism, went out for the evening leaving her home wide open to burglars.

Thankfully, those flimsy defences were not penetrated while we were out - but when my entourage returned in the early hours of the morning, mass panic quickly broke out in the deserted neighbourhood. I needed a locksmith quickly - but where on earth would I find one at 1.30am?

I knew there was one living on the urbanisation, but tracking him down among 500 or more houses was going to take all night.

More in hope than expectation, I got into my car and began to drive, panic-stricken, around the estate. Then, glory be, a glimmer of hope - the lights of a Guardia Civil jeep sparkled as they headed

towards me. I stopped the car, got out and flagged down the Guillermo Viejo (well, how else do you say Old Bill in Spanish?!).

With my limited espanol and mega-talking talks, I explained to the two Guardia officers in the jeep that I had locked myself out. They followed me back to my place, negotiated the entourage of family members hovering on the patio, and proceeded to twiddle with the front door lock. ''Necesita cerrajero,'' the older of the two advised, introducing me to a word I have never forgotten - the Spanish for locksmith. Cue more Spanglish and sign language, supplemented with an offer to call out a locksmith.

I had no choice other than to let them call me a cerrajero – and half an hour later, a fully-fledged Spanish lock-

The risks and the Fisks

I’VE never understood why journalists choose to become war correspondents.

Indeed, I’m not sure that any journalist actually WANTS to put his or her life at risk on the whim of some gung-ho government whose members would not dream of putting their own heads on the block. It’s tragic that Sunday Times reporter Marie Colvin lost her life in the lunatic chaos of Syria, a country as far removed from democracy as it is possible to get. But if my Editor at News International had asked me to choose between Homs and hacking into celebrity phone lines, then lock me up with a bent copper any day.

When I started in journalism in the

1960s, there wasn’t too much going on war-wise as far as the UK was concerned.

The most dangerous assignment on offer was probably covering a Beatles tour - and trying to avoid being crushed to death by screaming fans. Or having your eardrums blown out by the cacophony of noise. Over the intervening half century, I don’t remember coming across a single war correspondent.

Or a married one, for that matter.

Well, Robert Fisk went on to become the much-vaunted Middle East correspondent for the Independent, but during my time on the Sunday Express staff in Fleet Street, he was merely a

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member of the Town Talk gossip team He was also a boring geek. Or perhaps he just looked like one.

But that didn’t stop Fisk becoming what the New York Times described as ‘’probably the most famous foreign correspondent in Britain’’.

The point our US friends missed is that the guy is never in Britain. He’s been too busy covering the Northern Ireland troubles, the Lebanese Civil War, the Iranian revolution, the Soviet war in Afghanistan, the Iran–Iraq War, the Gulf War and the invasion of Iraq in 2003. He also interviewed Osama bin Laden three times.

Told you he’s a boring geek, didn’t I?

Robert Fisk

smith pulled up at my front gate. He’d driven up from Torrevieja, perhaps five or six miles on empty roads. And he clearly knew Guillermo and his Viejo.

He also lacked the savvy to at least give the impression he was taking on a difficult challenge. He took one look at the door, pulled out what looked like an ordinary credit card, and slid it down the frame of the door alongside the locking mechanism. Then, almost instantly, CLICK, we were in.

Total time to get into the house – less than five seconds. Quicker than using a key. Cost? A cool 100 euros enough to make even John Terry consider changing his profession. (Not that I'd ever let him within 100 miles of my house - and particularly my daughter!).

I made a costly mistake and I deservedly had to pay for it.

Since that night, I've learnt how to do the credit card trick myself and would strongly advise anyone with a selflocking front door to ALWAYS ensure the security mechanism is fully operative when they go out.

I also ask myself one little question from time to time.

Were those two Guardia Civil officers so naive as not to be able to play a ‘get in free’ card themselves? And if they knew the trick, why was it necessary for them to call out a cerrajero at all?

Either way, if Guillermo and his amigos need some basic lessons in housebreaking, they are very welcome to give me a call. I’m charging halfprice…just €10 a second.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday, February 24, 2012

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Friday, February 24, 2012

Calling time on a sticky situation I MENTIONED to Mrs S the other day that I wasn't feeling too grand.

Nothing was hurting me. I just had this weird sensation that time was standing still.

Mrs S looked puzzled. 'Are you sure it's time standing still and not just you standing still?

You're quite accomplished at that.'

'I tell you there's something wrong,' I insisted.

Mrs S stared at me. 'Is it the same feeling you had at our Vera's wedding when you heard the heavenly voices in your head BEFORE the choir started singing?'

'No!' I snapped. 'That was some supernatural-type experience that lies outside the understanding of present science.'

'In other words you were drunk.'

'Probably,' I muttered.

'Anyway, I'm off to the . . .'

'Pub?' '. . . doctor's.'

Dodging the surgery's security staff, whom I suspected carried my description at all times, I confronted the receptionist.

'And how are you feeling today, Mr Silver?' she asked.

Her face bore the expression of barely suppressed panic that most people seemed to adopt when conversing with me.

'I'm in a situation that requires urgent intervention to prevent a worsening of my position,' I explained.

'You mean it's an emergency?' the receptionist queried.

'That's it!' I cried. 'I can never remember the word.'

The receptionist picked up the internal phone and cupped her palm over it so that I wouldn't hear. (But I did.)

'Doctor,' she whispered into the mouthpiece. 'He's got through the cordon again. Shall I tell him you're out delivering octuplets?'

But I'd already dived into the GP's inner sanctum.

'What is it this time?' the doctor sighed. 'Monkeypox?

Guinea Worm Disease? Walking Corpse Syndrome? Oh, sorry, you had all those ailments LAST week.'

'This time, doc, it really IS to do with time. I have this strange feeling that time is standing still. What can it possibly be?'

The doctor examined me. It must have taken awhile but, of course, with my latest malaise I could only assume the passage of time.

Then he delivered his diagnosis.

I phoned Mrs S with the result of my medical examination and then popped into the nearby precinct.

'How might I help you, sir?' asked the shopkeeper.

'My doctor advised me that I need a new battery for my wristwatch,' I said. 'It's been ten past ten for hours.'

The watch repairer smiled sympathetically. 'It must seem as though time itself is standing still when one's watch stops,' he observed.

'Only an idiot would think that,' I mumbled.

I lay down on the floor, held my arm aloft - and twisted it round so that my wrist rested, palm upwards, on the shop counter.

'Actually, I think it would be easier for both of us if you took off the watch before I insert the new battery.' the repairer suggested. 'And If you come back in 20 minutes it will be ready for you.'

I sauntered round to the pub and was greeted by Dave the barman.

'Hello, Dave,' he said.

'Hello, Dave,' I said.

Formalities over, I settled on a stool and sipped a soothing cider.

'I've just had some extra security installed,' crowed Dave the barman. 'The doors are now fully alarmed.'

'I'm not surprised,' I said.

'Your prices alarm the hell out of me, too.'

I tried to relax but a niggling thought was nagging at me.

I set down my cider, slid off the stool and set off down the street.

I popped my head around the door of the watch repair shop.

'How will I know when my 20 minutes are up? I haven't got a watch.'

Anyway, I eventually arrived home to find that my timepiece trouble was contagious.

This time it was Mrs S who was encountering a problem.

'Just look at the end of the leather strap. It's coming apart.'

'Is that the same watch I bought you?' I asked.

'Yes,' said Mrs S. 'Why?' 'Then leather doesn't enter into it. I need something that sticks cheap plastic.'

I hunted through the junk drawer in the kitchen and behind an opened bag of fluff-covered pear drops I found a tube of glue.

'Hmm,' I said. 'This glue is super stuff. It says here that it bonds skin in seconds. I'm impressed.'

Mrs S tutted. 'That's a warning, idiot, not a required effect.'

Half an hour later I was back at the doctor's.

'He really is busy, Mr Silver,' said the receptionist, assuming her rictus grin.

'Your insistence on a full-body examination this morning caused gridlock in the waiting room and you really are going to have to wait.'

'That's okay,' I mumbled, extending my glue-clamped, stuck-together fingers from which dangled Mrs S's watch.

'I . . . er . . . seem to have time on my hands.'

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Friday, February 24, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH THIS week we are going to carry on from learning the time. I hope you’ve been practising hard and are now confident in telling the time to whoever asks for it.

We have all seen MENU DEL DÍA (menu of the day) and MENU DE LA NOCHE (menu of the night), so you are already familiar with one form of telling the time of day. Here are some more: por la mañana/de la mañana in the morning por la tarde/ de la tarde in the afternoon/early evening por la noche/ de la noche in the late evening/night la mañana morning mañana tomorrow mañana por la mañana tomorrow morning pasado mañana the day after tomorrow hoy today ayer yesterday anoche last night la noche anterior, anteanoche the night before last el lunes que viene next Monday la semana que viene next week el año que viene next year el lunes pasado last Monday la semana pasada last week el año pasado last year tarde late temprano early To state that something was some time ago in Spanish use the word HACE. For example to say two days ago in Spanish would be HACE DOS DÍAS, to say two weeks ago, use HACE DOS

SEMANAS and two years ago HACE DOS AÑOS. In learning these words and building your vocabulary, you will be training your brain to learn, something it may not have had to do to this level for some time.

The key to learning anything like this is repetition. Which is why I will be doing more revision lessons in future weeks, not only for those who may have missed it but also to keep the words in your memory.

Once they are there they will stay for a while but if not used, will be forgotten eventually.

This is why I advocate going to Spanish bars and shops occasionally, and making the effort to speak to the staff, even if it´s a basic greeting and ¨¿como estás?¨ The more prepared you are to use your new words, the quicker you will learn them and be able to move on.

No matter how good your grasp of a language, there will always be room for improvement and

learning new words.

I don´t know about you but I´m sure I don´t know every word in the English language. So after just a few years studying Spanish, I am sure there are plenty of words I have yet to learn.

Learning any foreign language is a lifetime commitment. You will always be improving and learning, however, it will not take a lifetime to be able to speak confidently in your new language.

Whatever your aptitude for languages, you can learn. I am a prime example of someone who has no aptitude whatsoever for languages. I got a CSE grade 4 for German, I was appalling, and when I first came to Spain I thought the few words I knew would be enough and had no motivation to learn However in the past four years, since having my son, I have read and studied and talked and taught myself how to speak the language to a level that I can now help friends learn and translate for others.

It´s not been easy and will continue to present new challenges, but to have my hard work pay off every time I speak to my Spanish friends keeps me wanting to learn more.

Love the language as much as you love the country and it will be easier and fun. After all, you are doing this for yourself, to keep your brain young, to have fun and maybe even to be able to show off a bit to visiting friends and family. Plus it will help you integrate and feel more a part of this beautiful country.

Last week’s answers: MUJER HOMBRE CHICO CHICA MAÑANA VERANO MIÉRCOLES TORREVIEJA MARINA CAFÉ AEROPUERTO CERVEZA VINO TRADUCCIÓN BOCADILLO

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Friday, February 24, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

How to approach a nervous dog

ONE of the most common requests I get from clients is to help their dogs who are suffering from anxious, nervous behaviour.

How to behave around a nervous, anxious dog is crucial, but many humans get this wrong, choosing instead to try and win the dog over by approaching them, when they are in this state.

This is a big mistake and can often result in the dog biting the human. The dog then gets the blame, when in fact it was the human who didn’t follow the rules of nature.

My latest consultation was with such a dog. The owner called me and explained that he had a 12-month-old German Shepherd who was extremely nervous of people, especially when they entered the house.

He mentioned that the dog barks at people when they enter and behaves in an erratic way.

When I arrived at the house, in leafy Kent, the dog was loose in the garden. I collected my things together in the car, stepped out into the garden and totally ignored the dog.

I did not look at the dog once and behaved as if she simply was not there. She approached me calmly and gently sniffed my leg. I still ignored her. She walked away calmly and followed me into her house.

At this point the owners

This dog is displaying signs that he is nervous, by his closed mouth, dilated eyes and submissive ears

IGNORE HER UNTIL SHE IS READY TO MAKE FRIENDS

were in disbelief, as she had never been so calm around a stranger before.

I explained to them that she was calm because I did not try to approach her. The

last thing people should ever do is approach a nervous, fearful dog.

You must wait until they are comfortable around you.

Although this dog has Leishmaniasis, you can see she is relaxed and comfortable, by her open mouth and relaxed eyes

When she was smelling me in the garden, she was not communicating to me that she wanted me to stroke her. She simply wanted to know who I was.

Dogs find out who we are by two things. Our scent and our energy. Our scent is our scent, but our energy is something we can definitely change.

The best energy to have around dogs is calm. Nothing else works better than calm.

As I sat down in their living room, the German Shepherd approached me again and lay down next to me. She was mirroring my state of mind and it was a joy to see.

The owners complained to me that whenever they are out with her, or whenever a visitor arrived at the house, there is always one thing in common.

Everyone approaches her

For the best dog travel service, give Peter a call

DO you need to transport your pet between Spain and the UK? Peter Singh provides a relaxing and peaceful mode of travelling with his pet transport service. Check it out by visiting www.europeanpettransport. com to give affection. These people mean well, but in actual fact they are unconsciously making the dog more nervous and doing more harm than good.

Just because someone is

a dog lover, does not mean that he or she is a knowledgeable dog lover and it is vitally important that humans understand that a nervous, fearful dog must be given time before being given affection.

If people just wait until the dog lets them know they are ready to be stroked, the relationship will then be a harmonious one.

How will the human know?

That is easy. Remember, when dogs are smelling you, do not stroke them at that point.

Give them the space and time to work out your scent and energy.

If dogs walk away after smelling you, they are telling you they are not ready for you to stroke them. If, however, they remain next to you and maybe nudge your leg, that is a good sign.

Also, look at their body language. Relaxed dogs will have their mouths open in most cases and have relaxed eyes, rather than dilated eyes, a closed mouth and a very still posture.

If you see these positive signs, then you can stroke the dog, but not as most people do, with the hand above a dog’s head. Stroke the dog under the chin in order to lift her head and give her confidence - and refrain from talking to the dog.

You want to keep the atmosphere calm and all that talking does in most cases is simply excite dogs.

People must realise that dogs run on a completely different network to humans and once this is respected, it then gives dogs the freedom to express themselves, without human intervention. Then and only then will the dog become your best friend.

How to approach a nervous, fearful dog

by Peter Singh. Copyright www.thedogyouneed.com 2012

l

Peter Singh will be advising dog owners in The Courier ’s circulation area from March 1-7. To book a private consultation , email him at peter@thedogyouneed.com

Friday, February 24, 2012

LÍNEA DIRECTA LAUNCHES AN ON LINE SERVICE OFFERING LEGAL ASSISTANCE IN ENGLISH • The service, offered by practising registered lawyers, will advise the company’s customers on Spanish legislation in areas such as housing, consumption, family law, labour law, motoring queries and penal law.

• The service will provide 24 hour assistance in the case of urgent enquiries, the checking and editing of documents and discounts of up to 50% on lawyers’ fees if further action is required.

Línea Directa, market leader in the sale of direct insurance in Spain, has launched an online service offering legal assistance to its customers, which will advise those policyholders purchasing this cover on areas such as housing, consumption, family law, labour law and penal law.

Línea Directa’s new cover, the price of which will be up to 40% more economical than the market average, will answer queries on buying and selling, renting and house renovations.

24-hour assistance for urgent enquiries The service of Legal Assistance for Motorists operates from Monday to Friday from 8am to 10pm. In the case of urgent enquiries, such as emergencies in the home, incidents occurring at night affecting families – including spouses or children – such as theft, credit cards being blocked or unreturned, or damage caused by pets, Línea Directa will offer a service 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

In both cases, the customer must call 902 400 613 or email atencionjuridica@lineadirecta.es.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

A timely reminder I HAVE just been reading about a new book that has taken the author three years and worldwide travel to complete, which is some feat.

However, this book is much more than just a history book or a reference book, it is a fascinating insight into the human psyche.

The book is a collection of letters written by British and foreign servicemen from all over the world to their loved ones, which in itself some people may find interesting. but what makes this book unique is that the letters are written in the hope they are never actually read.

This is because they are last letters, final words only to be read in the tragic event of the serviceman being killed.

It is a message to their loved ones, their last declaration, something the person writing it wants the ones left behind to remember them by - and maybe wants to tell them in the event that they don´t make it back home.

The letters cover wars from the 17th century to the present day and, looking at the examples, the overriding message is that of love and care for those left behind. There are 70 letters in the book and although the style of handwriting

changes, what remains constant is the fact that all the moving messages carry the same emotion.

What must one young man be thinking as he sits to write his final letter? What

thoughts and emotions must be running through his mind? I can´t begin to imagine what I would write, there is so much I think I would want to say. How could it be summed up in one letter? Yet that is what was asked of these men, and what they came up with is inspiring and full of maturity beyond their tender years.

The letters in this book were all written by young men taken before their time in a war that they may or may not have agreed with - but that they took part in to save you and me from oppression or invasion.

Some have an optimism that the letter will never be read, others seem almost resigned that it will be. Anyone going into battle knows the risks and possible consequences, and these letters are an awareness of, and preparation for, the ultimate sacrifice. However in none of those I read are there feelings of selfpity, regret or hate; there is simply an outstanding pride, a feeling that these are young men who we, as a nation and as a person, can and should be infinitely proud of.

Reading these letters made me think about how fragile life is, how, at any time it can end, quicker than it started and

without the warning. How important it is to respect life and to enjoy it. There are so many quotations and proverbs about life that we all are made aware daily of the delicate nature of it, yet we don´t always live it.

There are so many constraints on our day-to-day lives that we often don´t see the beauty of what is in front of us. We don´t always have time to stop and smell the roses, or listen to a child’s laughter, but neither do we want to think about our own mortality. I know I for one want to be here for many more years, to see my son grow, to watch him daily evolve into a young man, and I hope I can enjoy and appreciate every minute I have with him.

As more and more young men are writing their final letter, we should take a minute to be thankful for what we have.

And while we have to the chance that these young men didn´t have, we should tell our loved ones how we feel, not just today, but every day. Hold them close; even if they are far away you can still hold them in your heart.

Tomorrow is another day, another chance. After all, nobody can go back and start a new beginning - but everyone can start today and make an ending.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

WHEN THE GRECIAN EARN GOES TO POT

THERE’S not a lot to laugh about over the Greek Tragedy currently going on in that wonderfully friendly country.

The place is bankrupt, plain and simple, as it begs like an ouzo-ridden tramp holding a dirty glass for yet another EU bailout.

The strings attached to the money are close to unacceptable, which will make normal life very difficult for its people, and be political dynamite as Greece stages an April election. But it’s good to see that their politicians haven’t moved off their old scripts.

I burst out laughing when a member of one of the main parties popped up on Sky News the other day and blamed everything on his opposition predecessors. It was political lying and posturing of the highest order, as both the Greek main left and right wing parties have brought the country to its knees over the last 20 years or so.

If you think some dodgy things have gone on in Spain, it’s nothing to what the politicians and officials have been getting up to in the so-called Cradle of Democracy. A recent survey showed that 98 per cent of Greeks thought their masters were corrupt. I’d just love to meet the two per cent who were deluded enough to think anything else!

But if Greece comes crashing out of the Euro,

q

Greecy job: That’s me on the left practising for my Zorba act which I think it will, what the heck is going to happen there, let alone the ripple effect for countries like Spain? Having spent 30 years going to Greece and knowing the psyche of its people, I honestly believe that things might get very nasty indeed, as the politicians and administrators will face the full fury of their angry countrymen.

There won’t be a magic switch-on of printing presses producing billions of Drachma notes, and if the country is bust and unable to service any of its international debts, I predict vast civil disobedience and Greece grinding to a complete halt.

The mainstream politicians lost all moral authority

there a long time ago, and you could very well get a far greater polarisation of extreme opinion on both the left and the right.

I regularly visit an area where Communist MPs have been elected for the first time ever! I don’t like to say it, but you could get tanks on the streets again, like in the late sixties, with the army taking control once more.

It’s a worrying reminder of what might happen if mainstream politicians are not fit for purpose, and a sad potential postscript to a farcical decision by the EU to allow a country riddled with corruption to join the Euro in the first place.

Sorry to be so cheerless

on this, but there’s more chance of me dancing Zorba the Greek with a bottle of Metaxa brandy clenched between my teeth, than the Athens government sorting this disaster out.

The only thing they might have left is to make a desperate phone call to Nana Mouskouri to come out of retirement, go on a world tour and raise some money singing in every venue that’ll have her!

Meanwhile, the messy fallout for countries like Spain and Italy will be that the markets will be screaming at them for their money back as quickly as possible, to make up for the losses from the Greek debacle.

LABOUR leader Ed Miliband says he hopes to make the National Heath Service the big defining issue at the next UK General Election in 2015.

Interesting indeed, since the state of the economy is surely what people normally look at first, as they work out where they want to cast their vote. Doubly interesting, then, as his Health spokesman and Health secretary in the last government, Andy Burnham, suggested two years ago that he would have made NHS cuts had he still been holding that portfolio. Has somebody conveniently forgotten that little nugget?

WE know very well here in Spain how much the cost of air travel rockets during the UK school holidays, which is why so many British parents try to take their little ones abroad during term-time, with the blessing of their headteacher.

Now the Education Secretary, Michael Gove (pictured below) is looking to stop this, because he feels it sends out the wrong message over truancy and attendance.

I honestly haven’t a clue whether he is right or not, but I would suggest it won’t go down too well with cashstrapped families, who might be natural supporters of Mr.Gove’s government. Doubly so, with the news that he has dropped plans to reduce the benefits given to parents of persistent truants.

So the main offenders get away with it again, parents are angered and head-teachers have their authority challenged. No gold stars then for Mr.Gove, who has ducked the main issue and torn up an election pledge!

q

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Friday, February 24, 2012

THE SPANISH PRESS

MASS PROTESTS PUT RAJOY UNDER COSH

Oil fears for Spain over EU embargo Publico

MARIANO Rajoy’s conservative government had its first taste of widespread social unrest on Sunday when hundreds of thousands took to the streets to protest far-reaching labour reforms.

Unions claimed that half a Madrid, 450,000 in Barcelona, 80,000 in Valencia, 35,000 in Alicante and 70,000 in Zaragoza, with thousands more backing a total of 57 nationwide demonstrations. The police offered lower figures.

The labour unions CC OO and UGT described the marches as a show of force to protest the liberalisation of the job market, which will mean that it is cheaper and easier for companies to fire workers.

Under the new system, firms can lay off workers with a pay-out of 20 days for each year worked if employers can demonstrate actual or forecast losses, or show that they have had nine consecutive months of falling sales.

million protesters came out in

El Pais Unions and employers will no longer have to come together to negotiate the conditions of the layoffs.

Sunday’s display, said the unions, was a warning to the Popular Party (PP) that a general strike could be next unless it reconsiders.

UGT leader Cándido Méndez stopped short of announcing a general strike.

Rajoy had already anticipated trouble ahead of announcing his plans: at a meeting in Brussels, he was overheard telling another European leader that his reforms would cost him a general strike.

Out with a shout: A Valencia protester cops the full force of the law.

LEFT: The Alicante demo

Taking the Pais: Paper banned over cartoon A CARTOON in Spain’s popular daily paper El Pais has upset the King of Morocco so much that the country banned the distribution of last Thursday’s edition of the paper.

According to Morocco’s communication ministry, the cartoon has “a deliberate intention to smear the king’s image”.

The cartoon accompanied an article by Spanish journalist Ignacio Cembrero, who knows the country well.

Cembrero was said to be surprised by the Moroccan action as he thought the cartoon (pictured right) “friendly and rather likeable”.

The decision to ban the paper was made on the basis of article 29 of the press code that protects the monarch.

It is the first time a foreign publication has been banned for this reason since the moderate Islamist Justice and n It is reported that the ma Development Party (PJD) mobility, reduced had came to power in January. l wil y ntit ide although his Previously, only publicais it r not be released until afte tions carrying images of the ts. tes c nsi fore by confirmed y Prophet Mohammed or God – It is believed the fire ma by a forbidden under Muslim tradihave been started tion – have been banned. heater.

Earlier this month, French weekly Le Nouvel Observateur

e z la b n a v ra a c in s Brit die

tish A 56-YEAR-OLD Bri a in fire a ing ow foll d man die uillo, caravan in El Rodrig near Pinoso. ly The fire broke out ear on Sunday morning. quickly Firefighters and ne sce attended the

Informacion

inside found the man’s body n. the carava the He had been living in ked par s wa ich wh n, carava ate, on an industrial est since November.

The EU trade embargo on Iran will affect Spain’s oil imports, half of which come from the country.

The restrictions – agreed

by European leaders following pressure from the US – will take effect on July 1.

Spain is one of Europe’s biggest importers of oil and has become increasingly dependent on Iran in the past year, with supplies increasing from 20 to 50 per cent due to political unrest in Libya.

Unsurprisingly, the Spanish government is not among those supporting the embargo.

“Spain is suffering the greatest damage from the embargoes against Iran and has always expressed support for the resumption of talks,” said Pedro Antonio Villena Perez, Spain’s new ambassador to Iran.

The import ban is the latest attempt by the West to force Iran into abandoning attempts to develop nuclear weapons.

Catherine Ashton, was banned after printing an the EU’s foreign polimage of God. icy chief, said: “The Last month the same magapressure of sanczine was banned when a cover tions is designed to story on the Arab world includ- try and make sure ed the supposed face of the that Iran takes seriProphet Mohammed. ously our request to Morocco also banned come to the table French weekly l’Express in and meet.”

Eighty per cent of January for publishing a 95energy page dossier on Islam includ- Spain’s ing a face meant to represent demand is met by oil.

Mohammed’s.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

editor@thecourier.es THE COSTA BLANCA’S BRIGHTEST LETTERS PAGES

Face up to it, Mr Bob!

Bob Houliston

ONE of the slogans used by CLARO in the run up to the Orihuela Costa election last year was “Action not Photo Opportunities”.

Mr. Bob Houliston, what actions have you taken?

The only noticeable action that you have taken is to never to miss a photo opportunity. I have been unable to open any weekly newspaper since the election without your face at a beach party or lighting ceremony.

Besides the photo opportunities and the whinging press releases about how you cannot sit on all the council seats at the same time, what have you achieved for the electorate?

We don’t care about your “competencies” or your ego, we care about the graffiti, rubbish,

dirt, potholes, falling property prices, jobs, tourism, closing businesses, bus services, health, education and having a say in our community.

Get off your ego trip and get with the programme – your own electoral programme, for example.

JOHN CARROLL I MUST say that I am disgusted with Bob Houliston's constant complaining about his government colleagues and his blatent moves to desert the people who voted for him by joining with the corrupt PP. It is the opposition's job to criticise the government, his job is to get the work done. When are you going to start, Mr. Bob?

All change at the top in Torrevieja’s RAFA shake-up

PRIDE AND JOY A NEW president, Bruce Heath, and a new chairman, Terry Joy, were voted in at the Annual General Meeting of the Costa Blanca Branch of the Royal Air Forces Association (RAFA), held on Tuesday February 21.

During his farewell address, outgoing chairman Brian Todd commented that during his time in office he was delighted to have overseen a very active and friendly Branch.

It was a Branch that had continued to play an active role in supporting the local traditions and raising significant funds for the 'Wings Appeal', as well as supporting other worthy causes.

The social events continued to attract good participation from members and

From left: Outgoing President Brian Hewett hands over the badge of office to Bruce Heath, while new chairman Terry Joy receives his badge of office from Brian Todd played a significant part in fostering the Branch ethos of comradeship. He concluded by wishing every success to the new Chairman and his Committee and pledged his continued support of the Branch.

Would you be interested

in joining the Branch? You do not have to be an exmember of the RAF to do so.

The Branch meets at 3pm on the third Tuesday in the month in the Los Carteros Restaurant in Ciudad de las Comunicaciones, located just off the CV 941 just out-

side San Miguel de Salinas.

If you would like to learn more, then please contact chairman Terry Joy on 966262922 or visit the website on www.rafacostablanca.com BRUCE HEATH President/Publicity

AECC in prostate screening cutback AECC Torrevieja Branch Prostate Screening Programme FOLLOWING instructions received by the Torrevieja Branch of AECC, (Asociacion Espanola Contra El Cancer), from the Alicante Regional Head office of the Charity, we regret to announce the winding down of the above screening programme.

With immediate effect, the registrations will be limited to existing participants who are either within three months of their annual check-up, or are in the process of “control” check-ups.

After this period no appointments will be available from the Branch. Until such time the office in Calle la Calera will be open as usual during Wednesday mornings when volunteers will be able to discuss, and explain in more detail the implications of this notice.

In the meantime any man living outside the jurisdiction of the Torrevieja branch is at liberty to approach their local branch, of which there are close on 50 in the region.

By making this announcement immediately it is the branch’s hope that we can minimise any difficulties which individuals may experience.

The Committee of AECC Torrevieja branch is exploring other alternatives, and hope to make further statements in due course.

J.A.JAMES (Committee member and prostate programme co-ordinator, AECC Torrevieja).

Kids and cops in Valencia street war From Page One restraint and responsibility, this kind of thing will not be repeated,” he told Spanish reporters covering his London visit.

But there is little sign of calm returning any time soon, and the row over both the cuts and police behaviour looks set to continue.

Calls for government delegate Sánchez de León to resign are increasing, with many furious that on Monday she said of the violence that she hoped it “ended up being an anecdote that is not repeated”.

She has since promised a full enquiry to see if some officers went to extremes.

Socialist leader Alfredo Pérez Rubalcaba said the images he saw on TV were “intolerable”, and he

called on the interior minister to explain them.

Financially, Valencia is the worst hit of Spain’s regions, having suffered years of mismanagement and alleged corruption. Its credit rating was recently relegated to junk status by ratings agencies.

The dire state of its finances has led to massive cuts in public services, and it is this that sparked the recent unrest, which has seen the arrest of 38 schoolchildren and students since last week.

The children took to the streets to draw attention to what they describe as appalling conditions in their schools.

There are claims of frequent power cuts, buildings left without heating during one of the coldest winters in living memory, broken

windows boarded up and teaching staff having to clean toilets.

The unrest in Valencia was echoed across the country with a mass protest on Sunday against public spending cuts and labour reforms being brought in by the PP government.

In scenes alarmingly similar to those played out in Greece over recent months, hundreds of thousands rallied in cities across Spain to protest the measures.

However, Rajoy is standing strong, insisting that the measures are necessary to tackle the deficit and get Spain’s economy working again.

At 23 per cent, Spain has the highest unemployment rate of the eurozone countries, higher even than Greece, with youth unemployment a staggering 51 per cent.

Arresting sight: Police get to grip with a student protester in Valencia

18

Friday, February 24, 2012

Spuds-u-like The humble spud features in many different cuisines around the world.

Here's a round up of potato recipes that everyone will enjoy.

Research shows that potatoes are one of the safest foods to eat: of over 8,000 British people tested for food intolerances, less than 1% reacted negatively to an average intake of spuds. Some food intolerances appear to be caused by too much of the same food, on a too-regular basis, but eating potatoes (and we certainly do that – each person in the UK eats 200lbs of potatoes a year) doesn't have the same effect. You're also likely to be safe with grapefruits, apricots, apples, barley, and lemons. Not only that, but the flesh just under the skin of potatoes contains more than 80% of the vitamins found in the whole tuber, while the skin itself is rich in fibre. That’s why the healthiest way to eat potatoes is with the skins on.

SWEET POTATO GUMBO WITH CORNBREAD Gumbo, in all its many forms, is the quintessential Deep South dish

Ingredients 1. 2 tbsp vegetable oil 2. 2 celery sticks, chopped 3. 2 red chillies, deseeded and chopped 4. 1 red onion, chopped 5. 2 garlic cloves,

chopped 6. 1 tsp each salt, dried thyme, dried oregano, cayenne and white pepper 7. 150ml vegetable stock, hot 8. 400g can chopped tomatoes 9. 24 okra 10. 1 bay leaf 11. 400g sweet potato, cut into 1cm cubes 12. 100g cabbage, finely shredded 13. For the cornbread 14. 200g butter, melted, plus extra 15. 300g plain flour, sifted 16. 50g icing sugar, sifted 17. 300g polenta 18. 1 tbsp baking powder 19. 1 medium egg, beaten 20. 250ml milk

Method 1. Put the oil, celery, chillies, onion, garlic, salt, dried herbs, cayenne and pepper in a saucepan over a medium heat and cook, stirring, for 6 minutes.

2. Add the stock, 150ml water, tomatoes, okra and bay leaf. Boil, then add the potato and cabbage. Cook for 15 minutes. Season, then discard the bay leaf.

3. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 200C/fan180C/gas 6 and grease a 12-hole muffin tin. In a bowl, mix the flour, sugar, polenta and baking powder, then mix in the egg, milk and butter. Divide equally between the muffin holes and

bake for 20-25 minutes. Serve with the gumbo.

LANCASHIRE HOTPOT A favourite dish with families, this traditional English recipe is cheap to make, only costing less than €2 a head.

Ingredients 1. 1 tbsp olive oil 2. 500g lamb leg steaks, cubed 3. 2 tbsp plain seasoned flour 4. 1 large onion, sliced 5. 2 small carrots, sliced 6. 300ml hot chicken stock 7. 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 8. A few sprigs of fresh thyme 9. 600g waxy potatoes 10. Butter

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 190°C/fan170°C/gas 5.

Heat olive oil in a large, wide pan over a medium heat. Dust lamb leg steaks in plain seasoned flour and fry, in batches, until browned. Set aside.

2. Add onion to the pan with carrots, and cook for 5 minutes. Return the lamb to the pan with 300ml hot chicken stock, Worcestershire sauce and a few sprigs of fresh thyme. Season and remove from the heat.

3. Thinly slice potatoes and place half in an overlapping layer in a shallow ovenproof pan. Top with the meat mixture, then layer over the remaining potato and dot with butter.

Cover and cook in the oven for 30 minutes, then remove the lid and cook for a further 20 minutes, until the potatoes are golden brown.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

JAMAICAN SPICED POTATO WEDGES The kids will love these Carribean-style spiced potato wedges. Once you've tried this tasty snack recipe, you'll be serving it at any given opportunity, from summer barbecues to parties.

Ingredients 1. About 1.5kg Desirée potatoes 2. 4 tbsp olive oil 3. 3 tbsp Jamaican jerk seasoning 4. 284ml tub soured cream, to serve 5. 1 lime, cut into 10 wedges, to garnish

Method 1. 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan180°C/ gas 6.

2. Wash and dry the potatoes, cut into long, thin wedges and put into a large bowl. Add the oil and jerk seasoning, and toss. Divide between 2 roasting tins and cook for 30-35 minutes or until crisp and golden, giving them a good shake occasionally. Drain on kitchen paper.

3. 3. Serve hot in paper cones or bowls, with the soured cream to dip and lime wedges to squeeze over.

DUM ALOO, SWEET AND SPICY NEW POTATOES This Indian recipe for Dum Aloo, or sweet and spicy new potatoes, make a delicious snack or side dish.

Ingredients 1. 15-20 small new potatoes 2. 2 tbsp vegetable oil 3. 3-4 cardamom pods 4. 1/2 tsp cumin seeds 5. 1 cinnamon stick or cassia bark 6. 2 bay leaves 7. 2.5cm piece of fresh ginger, grated 8. 200g can chopped tomatoes 9. 1 tsp sugar 10. 2 tbsp chopped fresh coriander

Method 1. Cook the potatoes in a saucepan of boiling water for 12-15 minutes, until tender.

Drain and cool slightly. Peel the skins if you prefer.

2. Heat the oil in a frying pan over a medium heat.

Crush the cardamom pods with the back of a teaspoon.

Add to the oil along with the cumin seeds, cinnamon or cassia and bay leaf. When the cumin seeds start to sizzle, add the potatoes, ginger, tomatoes, sugar and 100ml water. Season well with salt, partially

cover and continue cooking over a low heat until half the liquid evaporates and the sauce is slightly thickened. Garnish with coriander to serve.

CRISPY GNOCCI WITH OLIVES AND SUN-DRIED TOMATOES Gnocci is the Italian word for dumplings, and what lovely little dumplings these are. Crispy gnocci with olives and sundried tomatoes is a really tasty vegetarian dish, finished under the grill with melted mozzarella and basil, it's irresistible.

Ingredients 1. 500g medium floury potatoes 2. 1 large egg, beaten 3. 250g flour, plus extra for dusting 4. 100g butter 5. 100g sun-dried tomatoes, chopped 6. 150g mixed olives, pitted 7. Handful fresh basil leaves, roughly torn, plus extra to garnish 8. 150g ball mozzarella, drained 9. Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling

Method 1. Boil the unpeeled potatoes in a large pan of water for 25 minutes or until tender. Drain and, when cool enough to handle, remove the potato skins. Mash until really smooth.

2. Add the egg, plenty of salt and pepper and the flour and mix to a dough. Turn out and knead on a floured surface for a few minutes.

3. Put a large pan of water on to boil. Cut the dough into 4 and roll out each piece to 2cm ‘ropes’. Cut off at 2.5cm intervals and cook the gnocchi in the boiling water, in batches, for 3-4 minutes (4-5 minutes, if frozen, see tip), until risen to the surface. Refresh in cold water and drain well.

4. Preheat the grill to high. Heat the butter in a large ovenproof frying pan over a medium-high heat. Add the gnocchi, in 2 batches, and cook until crispy and golden. Return all the gnocchi to the pan. Add the tomatoes, olives and basil and warm through.

5. Tear the cheese over the gnocchi, pop the pan under the hot grill, until melted and golden. Serve, drizzled with oil and the extra basil.

ASIAN POTATO CAKES WITH ORIENTAL COLESLAW These Asian potato cakes are marvellous, with their mix of conventional and sweet potatoes, and the oriental coleslaw gives a real kick to the dish.

Ingredients 1. 1 small sweet potato, about 200g 2. 400g waxy potatoes, cut into chunks 3. 30g good Thai red curry paste 4. 15g mayonnaise 5. 25g plain flour 6. 1 large egg, beaten 7. 100g polenta or coarse cornmeal For the coleslaw 1. 400g red cabbage, cored and sliced 2. 100g beansprouts 3. 30g wasabi paste (from supermarkets) 4. 1 medium carrot, grated 5. 1 tbsp mild olive oil, plus extra to fry 6. 3 tbsp rice wine vinegar 7. Juice and zest of 1 lime, plus extra wedges to serve 8. Good handful chopped fresh coriander

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan180°C/gas 6 and bake the sweet potato for 40 minutes, until cooked. Split and scoop out the potato into a bowl, mash and set aside. Discard the potato skins.

2. Mix the coleslaw ingredients in a large bowl but reserve half the zest and coriander. Season and set aside.

3. Meanwhile, boil the potatoes for 15 minutes, until tender.

Drain, mash and add to the sweet potato with the curry paste, mayonnaise and the rest of the zest and coriander. Season, mix, cover, and chill for 30 minutes.

4. Mould the mixture into 8 cakes, then coat each in flour, egg and polenta. Fry in batches in a little oil for 3-4 minutes a side, until golden. Serve 2 per person with coleslaw and extra lime wedges.

SPICED CHICKPEAS WITH CUMIN POTATOES The Courier proves that you can knock up inspirational midweek veggie suppers that the whole family will enjoy.

Ingredients 1. 3 tbsp vegetable oil 2. 4 baking potatoes, cubed 3. 1 tbsp cumin seeds 4. 1 garlic clove, finely sliced 5. 1 red onion, finely chopped 6. 3 celery sticks, finely chopped 7. 1 red pepper, deseeded and finely chopped 8. 2 bird’s eye chillies, deseeded and chopped 9. 1 tsp smoked paprika 10. 1 tbsp tomato purée 11. 2 x 400g cans chickpeas, rinsed and drained 12. 200ml tub half-fat crème fraîche 13. 225g baby spinach 14. 1 tbsp chopped fresh thyme leaves

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200C/ fan180C/gas 6. Put 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large roasting tin and heat in the oven for 5 minutes, until smoking hot. Carefully add the potatoes, season well and toss in the oil. Roast for 20 minutes. Add the cumin and garlic to the pan, shake about and roast for a further 15 minutes or until the potatoes are cooked, crisp and golden.

2. Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil in a large frying pan over a medium heat. Add the onion, celery, pepper and chilli and cook, stirring occasionally, for 10 minutes, until soft. Add the paprika and tomato purée and cook, stirring, for a further 5 minutes. Add the chickpeas and crème fraîche and warm through for a few minutes. Stir in the spinach, until wilted.

Season to taste and stir in the thyme.

3. Divide the spiced chickpeas between bowls or plates and serve with the cumin potatoes.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

A day out for all the family with singing, dancing, eating and drinking!

Reasons to Visit

● Diverse range of new products, such as X5 Steam Mop, barbecues and garden products at prices to beat the crisis! ● Innovative secondary glazing ● Laminate, wooden and luxury vinyl flooring ● New heating system, air-conditioning, guttering and paving ● Swimming pool construction and accessories ● Insulation, toldos, conservatories, blinds and mosquito screens ● Health care including free blood pressure and back checks ● Magnetic jewellery, accessories, handmade jewellery and craft ● Furniture and soft furnishings, candles and ornaments ● Car rental, caravans, insurance and financial services ● Many local and international charities ● Full programme of entertainment and demonstrations; see website ● Snack/ drink available for 4.50 euros; Buffet in the restaurant for 15 euros ● 1 euro entry includes free raffle ticket ● Living Well and Cheaply from Your Garden or Apartment Terrace, followed by a question and answer session, at 1-00pm and 3-30pm on Saturday 25th by Clodagh and Richard Handscombe, regular contributers to the RTN and Euro Weekly. ● Wine tasting and appreciation of Monastrell, a local red grape variety, sampling five wines followed by question time. 5 euros, refunded with a voucher to be redeemed either at the show or Magica Gourmet in Benijofar.

1-00pm on Sunday 26 February. ● Raquel Pena’s FLAMENCO FOR ALL amateur dance group will perform at 2.00pm on Saturday 25th.

The group dance Guajiras, Alegrias, Bulerias and the very popular Sevillanas.

If you are unable to attend the exhibition, it is possible to have your company flyers placed in carrier bags and handed to the public as they arrive. For 1000 leaflets the charge for this service is 50 euros. Those taking a stand may also partake for 25 euros.

For more information, call Christine Roche on 699 549 261 or 965 632 835 or email her at info@exhibitions-spain.com. Also, see the website at www.exhibitionsspain.com for regular updates.

Friday, February 24, 2012

10 Must-Dos and 10 AbsoluteDon'ts of Great Hair Care If the amount of money consumers spend on hair care products annually is any indication, most people are concerned about the appearance of their hair and strive to attain beautiful, healthy and stylish locks. In fact, most will go to any lengths to achieve their desired look. From professional salon treatments to over-the-counter serums, hair care is a big business.

The only problem is that while many people are buying the right hair care products for their hair, they forget to follow basic hair care regimens that will guarantee the health and beauty of their tresses.

Additionally, many are also causing needless damage to their hair by participating in unhealthy hair care behaviour.

So, what should you do to make sure your hair stays healthy, shiny and strong?

Here are 10 essential must-dos of Great hair care.

1. Use the right hair care products for your specific hair type.

If your hair is damaged, dry or colour-treated, use hair care products formulated to repair this damage and add much-needed shine and resiliency. On the other hand, if your hair is oily, use a deep-cleansing shampoo and light conditioner to keep your hair looking its best. The right products should be at the base of your hair care routine.

2. Get a trim every 6 to 8 weeks.

Get a trim every 6 to 8 weeks as part of your regular hair care routine. Even if you are growing your hair longer, it is still vital to make a routine trim a major part of your hair care routine. Snipping ends before they split will keep your hair looking healthy and save you hair care headaches in the end.

3. Use hair care products containing sunscreen.

Protect your hair with hair care products that contain sunscreen.

4. Shampoo your hair only when it is dirty.

Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to shampoo your hair daily. Doing so can make your hair dry and hard to work with.

5. Turn to a professional for all of your hair care needs.

Yes, kitchen beauticians and friends do not cost as much as putting your hair care needs in the hands of a qualified professional, but they often cause blunders that end up costing you more money than if you went to the salon in the first place.

6. Use professional conditioning hair colouring systems.

There are many hair colouring systems on the market, and the ones you choose can have a great impact on your hair care costs. Simply put: choose a system that causes minimal damage and conditions hair as it colours. This will save you money when it comes to conditioning hair care products.

7. Stick with one chemical service.

In order to keep your hair as healthy as it can be, ask your hair care professional to recommend only one chemical service: colour or perm. By only using the service that is perfect for your particular style and needs, you will ensure that your hair stays healthier.

8. Add texture.

By adding texture to your style, through perm or cut, you can greatly reduce the time it takes to style and perform your daily hair care routine.

And you will look sensational.

9. Choose hair colour that compliments your style.

With all of the professional colouring techniques available, this part of your hair care regimen has never been easier. From chunky highlights to soft colour, you can greatly enhance your style with the right technique.

10. Use a wide-toothed comb when your hair is wet.

Comb your hair with a wide-toothed comb when it is wet to prevent breakage. The only time you should use a brush during your hair care routine is when your hair is barely damp or dry.

21

HOW PARASITES CAUSE CHRONIC DISEASES There is a general misconception that parasites and their associated illnesses only occur in third world countries where the standard of living is low and people live in filthy unhygienic surroundings; this is not so true. Recent technological advancement in medical diagnostics now shows that parasitic infestations are more common place than previously thought. Even before now in 1995, The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimated that over 60% of the world population carry at least one parasite.

Technically a parasite is any organism that lives off another organism, so this could include bacteria, fungi and viruses. However in biology, the term parasite strictly refers to protozoa (single celled organisms), arthropods (insects) and worms that invade and feed off the host organism, often causing them harm. Parasites can range from microscopic single cell protozoa to worms that are 15 feet long. The most widely spread protozoan parasites in humans are Giardia lamblia, Entamoeba histolytica, Blastocystis hominis and Crytosporidium. These are mostly picked up from contaminated food and water supplies and poor personal hygiene. Insect parasites include head lice, mites, ticks and fleas. These can carry other smaller bacteria like Borrelia burgdorferi, responsible for Lyme`s disease. The most common worms are pinworms, roundworms, tapeworms, hook worms, Guinea worms and filarial. These can be contracted from traveling in undeveloped regions, contaminated water, pets and meat and fish.

Ten Absolute-Don’ts of Great Hair Care To avoid all hair care disasters, follow these 10 absolutedon'ts of great hair care.

1. Avoid unprofessional and over-the-counter hair care products whenever you can. Many of these only offer false hopes and promises.

2. Do not cut your own fringe. Leave all of your cutting needs, even the fringe, to your hair care professional.

3. Avoid excessive sun, chlorine and salt water during the summer months. Excessive exposure can cause severe damage that is irreversible even if you use the best hair care products.

4. Do not use clarifying hair care products on your tresses more than one time per week. They can strip hair of moisture and essential oils.

5. Do not visit a hair care salon without first getting a referral from someone you can trust. Choosing a salon based on an advertisement or sale alone is very risky.

6. Do not purchase hair colour that comes in a box.

7. Never stick with an out dated look because you are afraid of looking different. Styles change for a reason. Ask your hair care professional to bring you into this decade with a new style.

8. Do not straighten your hair with a clothes iron. C'mon, this was so over in the 70’s. We have straightening irons now that won't damage your hair. Look in the hair care isle.

9. Don't brush your hair or put too much tension on it while it is still wet. This will cause breakage. Also, do not wear tight styles such as cornrows for extended periods of time unless you have ethnic hair.

10. Never use sun-lightening products such as lemon juice or over-the-counter hair care products designed to lighten hair with the sun unless you want a very short hair cut in the future.

In the end, hair care is a very individualised and personal thing. Feel free to add your own flair and style to your hair care routine, but remember to include hair care principles that will benefit your hair and avoid those that damage it.

While it is common knowledge that parasites cause intestinal problems such as diarrhoea and vomiting, few people realise their connection with chronic diseases such as asthma, arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, skin disorders and depression. A study reported in the Journal of Nutritional Medicine revealed that out of over 400 chronic fatigue immune deficiency syndrome (CFIDS) patients in New York, an incredible 93 per cent had some form of parasitic infestation. It further reported that 80% of the patients showed significant improvement of fatigue after receiving treatment for the parasitic infection. When parasites invade the intestines, they may provoke allergic reactions causing inflammation which leads to a ‘leaky gut syndrome’: a condition whereby the pores of the intestinal lining are opened too wide, allowing undigested food particles, environmental toxins and pathogens to enter the bloodstream. These foreign invaders overload the liver and accumulate in the organs, muscles, lymphatic system and nervous system, thereby creating a wide variety of disease conditions like arthritis, asthma, eczema, chronic fatigue and memory loss. Parasites are also capable of migrating from the intestines to organs, joints and muscles. A type of parasite known as Entamoeba Histolytica has been found to migrate to the liver and is capable of causing weight loss and insomnia. In some cases of ulcerative colitis, elimination of this parasite resolved the condition. Parasites also depress the immune system by excreting toxic waste products into the body.

Taking simple precautions and good personal hygiene will go a long way in preventing parasites. Hand washing before eating and after going to the toilet, thorough washing of fresh fruits and vegetables especially while on a tropical holiday, regular deworming of pets, are all good practises. Foods such as Papaya, pomegranate and pineapple have anti-parasitic properties. Other anti-parasitic foods include raw garlic, fresh figs, onions, raw cabbage, kelp, blackberries, finely ground pumpkin seeds and ground almonds.

Please send your queries to contact@mindspa.es or to book an appointment for a full body diagnostic scan or treatment call 630 118 439 or 966 262 93

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Friday, February 24, 2012

23

Friday, February 24, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Stephen wanted to know whether his upload ADVICE: James was having problems with OpenOffice speed was affecting his VOIP (Voice Over IP) phone qual- spell checker ity.

Q

Hi, I read your article in GA Advertiser with great interest and had a look at some bike apps.

Found one called "Derailleur" which having used it a couple of time can recommend.

I wonder if you could help me with an IP phone technical question.

I'm having tremendous problems with our IP phone, most of the time I can hear the incoming caller but they can’t hear me or they hear me staccato.

Our internet download speed varies daily from as low as 0.50mbs to just over 3mbs. (We pay for 3mbs). However our upload speed never goes over 0.49mbs but is more often than not right down to 0.05mbs.

Q

Hi,

I

have

OpenOffice.Org

installed on my new computer but the spell checker doesn’t seem to

be working? When I press F7 to start the spell checker, it just comes back saying “Spell Check Complete” but it’s clearly not as I can see mistakes in the text – what am I doing wrong?

A

Hi James, it sounds like the dictionary is either not installed or the spell checker is corrupt and not working correctly, have a look in the menu option below…

1. Click Tools 2. Click Options 3. Click Language Settings

My question is;

4. Click Languages

Is the upload speed just too little to transmit the voice signal?

Is there a way I can increase it apart from buying more download speed?

Look forward to hearing from you.

A

Do you see a blue tick next to “English (UK) in the “Default languages for documents” section? If you don’t then the dictionary is probably corrupt, the best thing to do is to re-run the setup of OpenOffice and select “repair”, this should fix the problem – let me know how you

Hi Stephen, thanks for taking the time to email in, thanks for the tip about

get on.

Derailleur, do you mean “GoLearn Cycling” – I’ll have a look at it.

Update: Perfect Richard thanks, you were right, there was no blue tick that you mention, after

With regards to your Internet speed, 0.5 Mbps should be fine for VOIP (Voice Over IP), in

running the repair it’s there and the spell checker is working great not, thanks!

fact those of us who have a Telefonica ADSL connection have an upload speed of a maximum of 0.5 Mbps regardless of the download speed so you shouldn’t be having problems with that. You mention however that more often than not the speed is down to 0.05Mbps and that is really quite slow and would affect your VOIP calls so you should have a chat with your service provider, I am sure that they will investigate it for you and sort it out. The only way that you can increase your upload speed (other than making sure that you are not using any of it through any file sharing applications that you may have open at the same time as you calls of course) is to buy more bandwidth from your ISP.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Windows computer scam Early this morning I received a telephone call from a Spanish lady speaking very good English saying that she was in Barcelona and that my computer was sending out a lot of malware which was affecting my internet server´s system. She wished me to put it right. I informed her that I was aware of her scam as it was being practised in both the U.K. and in Spain and the Police in both countries were aware of it. I then terminated the call. I did not ask for her telephone number and my Domo phone did not record the phone number. Advice:- If you receive such a call, I advise that you do not enter into conversation but terminate the call.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, February 24, 2012

25

Friday, February 24, 2012

CHEERS AND BOOZE ON A COURIER NIGHT TO REMEMBER

By Courier Editor DONNA GEE

YOU just had to ‘B’ there. A boozy birthday bash with beer, bacardi and a belting buffet bewitched by balloons and banter.

BLOODY BRILLIANT, in fact.

The occasion was The Courier’s first birthday party at Rocky’s and a timely knees-up for the team behind Spain’s fastest growing newspaper – and the people without whom we simply could not function.

I’m talking about our advertisers, of course. Those loyal friends who learnt a long time ago that it PAYS to advertise in The Courier. Anyone who has tried it knows that there is no better way to get to a wide audience in the southern Costa Blanca.

For all the gimmicks our rivals come up with, we can point to dozens of happy advertisers whose businesses we have helped to thrive.

Take Tim at GT AUTOS in Los Dolses, who says: “I am privileged to be associated with and sponsor The Courier, the No.1 leading newspaper on the Costa Blanca “I survey all the calls that come through and the majority come from my advertisement in The Courier.”So to anyone reading this, I recommend they advertise with the Courier for a prompt result.’’

Tim’s testimonial is just one of dozens that have flooded into our email system this past couple of weeks. These are just a few...

DAVID’S COACH TRIPS: “Congratulations to The Courier on celebrating their first anniversary in circulation. I not only enjoy the quirky, interesting articles in this newspaper, but as an advertiser in the paper, but I have also found the staff to be very good at their jobs and very pleasant and easy to work with.

“A special mention for their rep Myra, who maintains a regular contact with us and attends our needs quickly, efficiently and with a ready smile. Also to ‘Miss’ Terry, who we never get to meet, but who does an excellent job in making sure that what goes to print is exactly what we as advertisers have asked for. She does a tremendous job.

“David's Coachtrips SL wish The Courier and their very pleasant staff continued success.’’

GO SATELLITE of Quesada: “Thank you, Jean and The Courier, for the success from the ads we´ve placed in your paper” GLAZING S Y S T E M S DIRECT (Phil and Darren): “Congratulations

on your first birthday. I always enjoying reading The Courier and I am very pleased with the amount of leads I receive from advertising with you. I only started advertising four weeks ago and already have had a very good response. It only takes one lead to pay for my advertising so I am more than happy with their services. ‘’ JUKEBOX PROMOTIONS: “We advertised with The Courier during 2011 and have been very happy with the service and general results from the advertising. The Courier has always offered attractive rates and the staff have been very efficient. Jean, who looks after our account, has always looked after us in a reliable and trusting way which we appreciate very much. We read The Courier every week and enjoy the paper very much’’.

BLUEMOON SOLUTIONS: “When BlueMoon Solutions decided to start to expand the area we provided computer services in, we needed to find an advertising partner that would work with us to achieve our goals. We looked at a number of publications but The Courier - and especially their advertising and design team - just seemed to fit our needs perfectly. We have been advertising with them for over 12 months now and are extremely happy with the results. I would not hesitate in recommending their services’’.

FRISSAN RESTAURANT: “Because of the popular paper and the distribution area we reach out to many new customers’’.

ELITE HAIR AND BEAUTY: “The Courier is our chosen paper for advertising because of its friendly customer services and low advertising costs within a great local paper’’.

RUBY’S BAR: “The paper is a great read very informative, good rates to advertise in. And the staff are reliable.’’

SAN MIGUEL ESTATES: “First of all, we like the friendly approach of the paper’s representative, Myra.

Then there’s the wide local coverage that suits our advertising. And there is never a problem with the team behind the scenes, the printers that is.

Whenever there needs to be changes, they are as good as done.’’

26

Friday, February 24, 2012

WHAT THE UK

Anger over Brits’ huge Greece bill FURY erupted on Tuesday night after it emerged that every household in Britain now faces a £500 bill for bailing out Greece and the crisis-ridden euro.

Senior Eurocrats indicated that Britain will be expected to hand over an extra £1billion through the International Monetary Fund to a colossal £110billion new emergency pot.

MPs and Euro MPs were outraged at the latest handout and the controversy will lend weight to the Daily Express crusade to get Britain out of the European Union.

The new bail-out will take the UK’s total liability for supporting the eurozone to an eye-watering £12.5billion, equivalent to £500 for every household.

EU leaders said the latest deal, clinched at 4.30am on Tuesday in Brussels, would save Greece from a catastrophic debt default that could spark a deep European-wide recession.

But many economists feared the bail-out was still not enough and will lead to another euro crisis within months.

We should not be using money from hard-

The gay torturer is dead

Daily Express working British taxpayers to bail out a currency that we have nothing to do with.

This is an abuse of the IMF system,” said Tory backbencher Peter Bone.

Former chancellor Alistair Darling said: “Even if Greece manages to do everything asked, in eight years’ time they will still have a debt of 120per cent of their GDP.” He added: “I suspect Greece will be back at the table at some point and, if the eurozone is not very fortunate, other countries will be back as well.”

EU leaders haggled through the night before agreeing the £110billion deal to replace a previous £91billion fund agreed two years ago that failed to ease’s Greece’s debt nightmare.

Downing Street officials yesterday insisted that the new £110billion bail-out was a matter for the eurozone.

“There is no proposal for an IMF contribution on the table at the moment,” said the Prime Minister’s spokesman.

But IMF chief Christine Lagarde confirmed that it would contribute to the new fund.

Daily Mirror

xxxxxxxxxxx

Kate’s pup is a wolf!

THE Duchess of Cambridge revealed on Tuesday the secret that has eluded royal watchers for two months – the name of the new addition to her family.

During a school visit, Kate told children that the black Cocker Spaniel puppy she and Prince William acquired shortly before Christmas is called Lupo - the Italian word for wolf.

She disclosed the name of her four-month-old pet at Rose Hill Primary School in Oxford, where she spent two hours in an art therapy class. Hearing that Kate had a puppy, pupil Abubkr Hussain offered her a toy dog. “Why don’t we call it after my dog? He’s called Lupo,” said the 30-year-old Duchess, ending a mystery that has endured since she was first spotted with the pup.

A KILLER who was told he would never be released from jail after being convicted of torturing gay men to death almost 20 years ago has died in jail.

A spokeswoman from HMP Wakefield said that Colin Ireland, 57, is presumed to have died of natural causes.

A former soldier, he admitted attacking and killing five gay men he met in pubs in 1993.

Known as the "gay slayer", he reportedly posed as a homosexual to be taken to each of his victims' homes, where he tortured and murdered them after making a New Year's resolution in 1993 to become a serial killer.

But Ireland, who terrorised London's gay community, was caught later the same year when CCTV footage showed him with his last victim.

Dame Judi facing DAME Judi Dench has revealed she is battling to save her eyesight.

The James Bond Star, 77, has been diagnosed with macular degeneration which can lead to blindness.

In a deeply moving inter-

Daily Mirror view, Dame Judi said her sight is already so bad she cannot see faces in front of her and friends have to read scripts to her so she can

Cont’d on Next Page

27

Friday, February 24, 2012

TABLOIDS SAY

Rules to blame for pond death

A CHARITY shop worker drowned in a shallow lake after firemen refused to help for health and safety reasons, an inquest heard this week.

Simon Burgess, 41, toppled into the three foot deep water while feeding the swans.

Even when a police officer who had arrived at the scene waded into the water, he was ordered back.

And a witness told the inquest that firemen said they were not allowed into water that was more than “ankle-deep”.

Gillian Hughes, 53, said “you’re having a laugh” when firefighters said they could not rescue Mr Burgess. A fireman responded: “no, that’s health and safety.”

Instead they waited for a specialist

Daily Mail rescue team and Mr Burgess was only taken out of the lake 28 minutes after the alarm was raised in Gosport, Hampshire.

He is thought to have suffered an epileptic fit at around the time he fell into the water. Although he was rushed to hospital he later died.

Ms Hughes told the inquest she phoned emergency services and begged for them to rescue Mr Burgess when they arrived.

She told how she saw Mr Burgess feeding the swans from a plastic bag, which blew into the lake.

“He tried to slap the bag back (towards him) with a plastic lid,” she said. “The next minute I noticed he was in the water.”

New calls for plain cigarette packs as more kids light up SMOKING at a young age often means a lifetime of addiction.

But alarming figures this week showed almost one million boys and girls under 15 – around 27% of children – have lit up.

Despite anti-smoking campaigns and health warnings, every year more than 150,000 youngsters have their first cigarette.

Cancer Research UK reckons it is enough to fill 5,200 classrooms or nearly 14,000 junior football teams.

Now it is calling on the Government to bring in plain packaging.

Jean King, of Cancer Research UK, said: “The tobacco industry spends a great deal of money on designing packets so they seem glamorous.

“With advertising outlawed, the cigarette packet is now the most impor-

Daily Mirror

tant marketing tool the industry has.

“Our research has shown selling all cigarettes in standardised packs will help reduce the appeal and give children one less reason to start smoking.”

Around 1% of youngsters aged 12 smoked regularly in 2009, 2% occasionally and 2% used to smoke.

A year later among the same age group, 3% lit up regularly, 2% occasionally and 4% were ex-smokers.

Children who have one cigarette by the age of 11 are twice as likely to develop a habit over the next few years than those who do not experiment.

The figures are based on a study of the Smoking, Drinking and Drug Use Among Young People in England (2000 to 2010).

35 YEARS FOR NIKITTA KILLER A FORMER nightclub bouncer was jailed for life on Wednesday for raping and murdering a young mother-to-be in her flat just two weeks before she was due to give birth.

Heavily pregnant Nikitta Grender, 19, (pictured) was raped by tattooed Carl Whant, who then slashed her throat and stabbed her in the abdomen. She was the girlfriend of his best friend and cousin Ryan Mayes.

In an attempt to disguise his crimes, Whant then set fire to her

Daily Mail Newport home, which was ready for the arrival of baby Kelsey May. The blaze also claimed the life of Miss Grender's pet dog which was discovered burning by a frantic neighbour.

But 'arrogant' and calculating killer Whant, who claimed he had consensual sex with their daughter just hours before her death, was jailed for life with a minimum term of 35 years.

blindness - from same disease that robbed mum of sight

learn her lines. But she said she is determined not to let the condition beat her and hopes recent treatment has stopped the progressive decline.

She confessed: “I can’t

From Previous Page

read scripts any more because of the trouble with my eyes.

"And so somebody comes in and reads them to me, like telling me a story.

"It’s usually my daughter or my agent or a friend and

actually I like that, because I sit there and imagine the story in my mind.

“I’ve got what my ma had, macular degeneration, which you get when you get old.

"I had wet in one eye and dry in the other and they had

to do these injections and I think it’s arrested it.”

Meeting the Mirror in a trendy London hotel, Dame Judi said: “I can’t see your face at all now, but I can see your outline.

“I can see over there [she

indicates the far side of the room, some 15ft away].

"The most distressing thing is in a restaurant in the evening I can’t see the person I’m having dinner with.

“Actually, what I miss are people corpsing on stage.

"I know there might be something going on but sometimes I can’t see it and that infuriates me as I think I’m really missing out on something.”

Dame Judi has vowed not to be beaten by the disease.

28

Friday, February 24, 2012

The most eccentric cars ever

Ever felt that the roads are full of boring lookalike tin cans? Ever wanted to break free and drive something that's, well, just different to everything else? You could be an automotive eccentric. Here are 10 of the strangest cars ever offered to the public.

Toyota Will Vi

label ('Mehrzweck-Fahrzeug/Kurierwagen', or multi-purpose/delivery vehicle). The Beetle-chassised four-door softtop was basic in the extreme. Despite the German army being the main client, 'Things' had a brief spell of popularity with 1970s hippies.

Normally sensible Toyota went totally doolally in 2000 when it began selling the Will Vi in Japan. Looking like a cross between a wheely bin and a Dalek, its wilfully weird styling included 'pod' style front and rear wings, styling 'ribs' that look liked corrugated iron and a Ford Anglia-inspired reverse-angle rear screen. But underneath all the weirdness lay nothing more exotic than Yaris 1.3 automatic mechanicals.

Mohs Ostentatienne Opera Sedan Bruce Baldwin Mohs was a true American eccentric. A seaplane builder, he diversified into making monstrous safety cars with the outlandish Ostentatienne Opera Sedan in

on each side of the car.

Volkswagen 181 ‘The Thing’ The Americans officially called VW's WW2-inspired 181 jeep 'The Thing'. That was less of a mouthful than the official

Citroen 2CV Beloved of French farmers in the 1950s and deified by eco-warriors in the 1980s, Citroen's 2CV was eccentricity personified. The 'tin snail' was slow and ultra-basic but still rather brilliant. Every opening panel could be slid off its flanges, including the doors, boot and bonnet. All the seats could be taken out and turned into picnic furniture. And there were only two springs in the whole suspension system, one

1968. This larger-than-life car had an 8.7-litre V12 fire appliance engine, massive 20-inch wheels (four decades before they became fashionable), bumpers the size of girders, a single rear door and seats designed to pivot to the horizontal in the event of a collision.

Clarkson cleared over striking worker jibe JEREMY CLARKSON has been cleared by media watchdog Ofcom following his remarks on the BBC’s The One Show that striking public sector workers should be shot in front of their families.

The comments on the BBC One show led to almost 32,000 complaints – but despite this, Ofcom has cleared Clarkson.

The regulator said viewers should be familiar with Clarkson’s “provocative and outspoken nature”, which was also referred to in the programme’s introduction.

“Consequently, the editorial nature of the programme as a whole would have prepared viewers for the type of comments Jeremy Clarkson would be likely to make,” said Ofcom.

Clarkson’s tongue in cheek comments were aired on 30 November, as public sector workers embarked on a one-day strike over changes to pension schemes.

Ofcom director Christopher Woolard explained its decision to clear Clarkson of

breaking broadcasting regulations in a letter to Unison, which lodged a complaint with Ofcom.

The regulator said it was “clear to most viewers that his comments were not an expression of seriously held beliefs or views that should be literally interpreted”.

Clarkson’s apology after the event was also taken into account: Unison accepted this and, it has emerged, also invited Clarkson to spend a day with a healthcare assistant.

29

Friday, February 24, 2012

Jehle Saphier This is what happens if the air is too thin when you try and design a car. Hailing from the tiny Alpine principality of Liechtenstein, the 1982 Jehle Saphier looked like a wedge

find out for yourself if this is true as long as you've got £700,000 to spend, that is: this is how much the 440bhp, 185mph Covini C6W costs in the UK.

Mini Moke of Emmental cheese. A large canopy swung upwards for entry for three passengers sitting abreast, and the pivoting side windows could be used for emergency exits. Originally designed for a VW Beetle chassis, Jehle even offered a midengined model with a 500bhp Ford V8. Scary stuff.

A car you sit on, rather than in, the Mini Moke was an attempt to make a budget British military vehicle in the 1960s. Its tiny 10-inch wheels offered almost no ground

Nissan Cube Proving that it's not always hip to be square, Nissan's Cube may have lived up to squared-off name in Japan, but didn't cut it with European audiences and it was axed within 10 months of going on sale. Its funky, edgy shape was

clearance, so the army had no use for it. So BLMC decided to sell it to the public instead, who were equally baffled. The windscreen could be folded flat or removed completely because it was designed for cars to be stacked one on top of each other for air drops by the military!

Aurora asymmetrical, but it looked too much like a fridge on wheels for British buyers. The Cube also has one of the strangest optional extras of all time: a piece of astroturf stuck on top of the dashboard.

Covini C6W

Why would anyone need six wheels? According to this car's creator, Italian Ferruccio Covini, having four front wheels improves braking, comfort and stability. You can now

Looking like someone's nightmare has materialised before your very eyes, the extraordinary Aurora was, without question, the ugliest car ever made. Reverse-shaped wings gave the impression that the car was going backwards, and the bizarre forward-jutting bulbous Perspex windscreen supposedly did away with the need for wipers. It was built by a Catholic priest called Father Alfred Juliano in Connecticut, USA in 1958, who was clearly closer to hell than heaven - he

Bendtner gets drive ban

PREMIER League star Nicklas Bendtner was banned from driving for 56 days and fined £660 today after admitting speeding at almost 104mph in his Porsche.

The Danish striker was late for a flight from Newcastle Airport when he was caught by a Northumbria Police traffic officer on the A696 dual carriageway, which has a 70mph limit, last December.

Bendtner, who is on loan at Sunderland for a year from his parent club Arsenal, did not appear before Newcastle magistrates for the hearing.

The court was told the 24-year-old was in Denmark for "contractual obligations".

He was deemed to not be absent from court because he was legally represented at the hearing.

Sarah Robinson, prosecuting, said Bendtner was spotted driving his convertible Porsche 911 Turbo and he was measured to be driving at 103.6mph for 0.137miles at 10.53am on Saturday December 10.

Barry Warburton, defending, said: "I understand he was going to Newcastle Airport, he was slightly late for a flight and unfortunately he speeded.

"It was a Saturday morning, there was very little traffic on the road and weather conditions were fine."

Addressing the bench, he added: "Not

withstanding the fact he is in Denmark, he has been absolutely no trouble to anybody. In my respectful submission, your public duty can be discharged by treating him with leniency."

The solicitor said his client had "substantial" disposable income and could pay the fine immediately with a credit card.

Chairman of the bench Edward Wardrobe imposed a 56-day driving ban, and fined the footballer £660, plus £30 costs and a £15 victim surcharge.

No penalty points were added to the three Bendtner has on his licence.

In 2009, his father Thomas said his son was "lucky" to escape with only cuts and bruises after crashing his Aston Martin on the way to training. A photograph (below) of the written-off sports car showed it had been badly mangled.

was declared bankrupt after using parishioners' donations to fund the project.

Flipper

French laws encourage tiny moped-powered cars that seem hardly bigger than fleas. The 1978 Flipper was one the oddest of the lot. Shopping trolley styling combined with a 47cc engine that was attached to a pair of very narrow-set front wheels. These could turn, engine and all, through 360 degrees. An indicator on the dashboard told you which direction the wheels were pointing - otherwise you could end up anywhere. And if the engine ran out of puff, which it often did, bicycle pedals were provided for the driver to add his own energy.

30

Cancer charity to open a new shop MABS Cancer Support Group in Murcia is to open a new store next door to the very successful MABS Cancer Centre in San Javier.

Opened in November 2010, the Cancer Centre has built up a reputation for top-quality new and nearlynew clothing and accessories, as well as providing much-needed information, therapy treatment and counselling for all those affected by cancer in the Murcia region.

Said Cancer Centre manager, Sue Thomason: “We receive many generous offers of furniture and other household items, but space is limited in our current premises. The shop next door has been empty for some time, but we wanted to make sure the MABS Centre was successful before committing further.”

Sue plans to open the shop on March 2, with an official opening on April 3.

Donations of furniture, household items and brica-brac are needed.

Call Sue Thomason on 615 016 035 or email centre@mabsmurcia.com for more details.

Friday,December February 24, Friday, 16,2012 2011

Lap the lake for PCN PAUL Cunningham Nurses are issuing a final call for walkers of the Costa Blanca to unite for the round-the-lake charity walk this Sunday.

If you are able to walk just five kilometres and fancy an afternoon enjoying the beautiful views of Lake Pedrera while walking among almond blossom, get yourself along to Casa La Pedrera

(The Grand Designs House), Torremendo for a 2pm start.

For something a little more rigorous, longer 10k and 15k walks and runs start at 11am, and cyclists can opt for a 10k or 20k bike ride starting from 11.30am.

Sponsorship forms are still available from Sue at sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or call or text 639 318 526. If you can’t get spon-

sorship in time, just turn up and pay €5 registration to the charity.

More details of the walk can be found at thingstodoinspain.info Paul Cunningham Nurses is a registered charity providing free hospice care at home in the latter stages of terminal illness. The annual walk plus many other fun charity events help them to fund their valuable work.

In March, PCN fundraising events kick off with the first Sunday lunch for the charity’s newly formed friendship group on March 4. Lunch is at El Corazon Hotel and costs €9.95.

For more information on the lunch, other PCN events or the work of the charity, contact Sue at sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or call or text 639 318 526.

BINGO SHUFFLE PACKS ‘EM IN! Dig this! Playas de Orihuela school pupils and staff on Day of the Tree duty

Tickets go like lightning for Grease on Zimmer frames TICKETS are selling out quickly for Stagestruck’s production of Ancient Grease.

In fact, they are going so fast that group founder Stella Reardon jokes “they are going like Greased Lightnin”.

With three months still to go to opening night, the group is looking to add at least another two dates and possibly another venue to keep up with demand.

“We did advise people to book early, but we never expected this,” says Stella. “It’s wonderful to have so much support for a relatively new group.”

Tickets for Thursday and Saturday performances are selling steadily, but sales for the Friday show have gone through the roof, with only 30 tickets remaining.

Based on the hit musical Grease, Ancient Grease moves the story on a little, with the young lovers now sporting Zimmer frames and walking sticks. All the music you know and love from the original makes it into the geriatric version.

Just a word of warning, some of the content of the show is not suitable for children.

Ancient Grease takes to the stage of the School of Music and Culture in Los Montesinos on May 24, 25 and 26. Tickets cost €5, including a glass of wine, and all proceeds go to the Adismon charity for disabled children.

Book tickets while you still can by calling Stella on 966 786 154 or Sally on 648 783 601.

THE sun will shine just a little brighter for the Help the Heroes charity next weekend - thanks to the Sol Club’s latest fundraising venture.

Three leading members of the club for expat singles have joined forces to pack bingo players in to Rayz Bar in El Raso for a fun evening on Saturday week.

But the eyes-down brigade won’t be checking their numbers off in the normal way - they’ll be using playing cards instead.

Rayz boss Claire Tyson is expecting a full house of around 70 for the shuffled form of the game, which is being billed as ‘bingo with a difference’and is expected to raise around €700 for Help the Heroes.

The bingo will be supplemented by a major raffle with of a dazzling array of impresthe entrance THE park at ve sive prizes. hi a as w on Tickets for the draw will be the Blue Lago ay last Thursd of activity and available on the night but the n re ild ch few remaining tickets for the morning as the Playas teachers from Los evening itself are expected in ol ho sc de Orihuela - to be sold this weekend. ed in dona That’s hardly surprising Dolces bedd ent nm ro vi En e because the €5 entrance tions from th l de ia D for Conselleria ). charge includes a meal of ay of the Tree D e (th ol rb A n chicken curry or chilli jackto lis ou Bob H Councillors ñez et potato and a glass of ia ul C l ue (Coast), Man a wine. t) and Martin Bingo is €1 a (Environmen and rt po ns ra game...and there are lots Scheurer (T ed st si as ion) Communicat k, of prizes. with the wor n re ild ch e The action starts at th rk pa e th ake which will m once 7pm for 7.30 and tickets e tiv ac tr at look more can be purchased at ts take root. the new plan Rayz.

TREESY DOES IT, CHILDREN

Kids use talents to help Butterfly Children A GROUP of talented youngsters is presenting three nights of song and dance to help other young people whose lives are more challenging.

Aged from 10 to 17, the group of seven will play guitar, sing and perform flamenco to help the Butterfly Children, who because of their condition cannot take part in any such activities.

The Butterfly Children suffer a rare and incurable genetic condition that leaves their skin as delicate as a butterfly’s wing.

Simply touching the skin causes severe blistering and wounds that never heal. Sufferers lose the use of their hands and feet.

Touched by their plight, guitarists, singers and dancers Thomas Lumley, James Mcallister Drew, Ellie Clarkson, Elise McGregor, Rebecca Holt, Kara Lumley and Jordan Dunn, are helping to raise money for DEBRA Spain by performing at three fundraising nights.

You can see the talented youngsters and support DEBRA, a charity set up to help the Butterfly Children, at the Rusty Nail, Pinar de Campoverde on March 2, The Coopers Arms, Doña Pepa, March 3, and Cheers Bar, Eagles Nest, March 10.

Walk like an Egyptian

MEMBERS of the ADAPT association donned Egyptian garb to entertain the crowds at the San Pedro del Pinatar carnival last weekend.

But given the cold snap, they shunned the more skimpy Egyptian dress and wrapped up like Mummies under their colourful costumes.

“We looked like very well padded Egyptians,” they said.

Some energetic dancing kept the blood moving, too, and was

a great hit with all those that lined the route.

With the sound of applause still ringing in their ears, group members paraded all the way to the port of Lo Pagan where a marquee with drinks and snacks had been set up.

ADAPT members agreed the carnival was great fun and said it was an honour to be accepted into the local community of San Pedro.

ADAPT’s goal is to integrate

the English and Spanish communities in San Pedro, promoting mutual understanding between English speakers, Spanish people and other nationalities. To do this, they play an active role in the social and cultural life of San Pedro.

ADAPT meet on the first Saturday of the month at 10am in the Hogar de Pensionistas, San Pedro del Pinatar.

For more information visit www.adaptsanpedro.eu

Well, do they look like ‘very well-padded Egyptians’? You decide!

31

Friday, February 24, 2012

happy 8th birthday tko

We would like to say a BIG thank you to everyone at Rocky’s Arena for the party last friday and to Keeley’s Cakes for the lovely TKO cake.

Here are a few pictures for you...

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips POP QUIZ February 24th Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm.

1. This group had a Love Shack.

2. Chris Blackwell founded this record company in 1959.

3. Both the Kinks and Barry Manilow waxed lyrical about this.......... lady???

4. According to the Scaffold who was in the pink.

5. Lita Roza had her only number one with this tune.

Make sure you pick 6. INXS are from which country.

7. Nancy Sinatra sang the theme song for up your TKO & Europa car sticker. this Bond film.

8. Staying with films Elvis played Clint Reno We will be giving out in which one. the pick up points on 9. What was Sunday morning like for the air next week, so Commodores in 1977.

10. Messers Clapton...Beck...and Page all make sure your played guitar for this group at various times. tuned in.

32

Friday, February 24, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 4 represents L and 24 represents K, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 A native of Scotland (4) 4 Torso (4) 9 Wading bird (5) 10 Prevent being ruined (7) 11 Suggest (7) 12 Skinflint (5) 13 Annoy persistently (6) 15 Young unmarried woman (6) 18 Conscious (5) 20 Nominate (7) 23 Building (7) 24 Sufficient (5) 25 Unattractive (4) 26 Make (4)

Down 2 Inquisitive (7) 3 Latin-American dance (5) 4 Not functioning (6) 5 Quandary (7) 6 Fried potato (4) 7 Fruit preserves (4) 8 Light fuel oil (6) 13 Particular localities (6) 14 Nightfall (7) 16 Captain (7) 17 Recently (6) 19 Parched (4) 21 Calm (5) 22 Fastened (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Sparse, 4 Status, 9 Agitate, 10 Nerve, 11 Theme, 12 Obscene, 13 Polygamists, 18 Adamant, 20 Caste, 22 Thing, 23 Contact, 24 Cancel, 25 Pester.

Down: 1 Scanty, 2 Abide, 3 Slavery, 5 Tones, 6 Torment, 7 Sweden, 8 Aeronautics, 14 Ovation, 15 Incense, 16 Tactic, 17 Better, 19 Argue, 21 Shaft.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Young men’s leggings (5) 4 Starve French Mennonite (6) 9 Do a meal cooked in style (1,2,4) 10 Fly a Greek character with a large amount (5) 11 Record two points with a sword (4) 12 On second thoughts, come back with fish glitter (7) 13 Stop filming a share of the profits (3) 14 Reverberation in the choir (4) 16 Go South for beer at a special price (4) 18 Steven Spielberg shows off pastry (3) 20 I’m clear, somehow, this is an act of God (7) 21 Part of her striptease act is simplicity itself (4) 24 Add zing to a portion of honey crisp ice cream (5) 25 The French back in work to produce a hymn-like tune (7)

26 Lasted and eventually became seasoned (6) 27 Alter debit for a bathroom fixture (5) Down 1 Stops cases around end of June (6) 2 A byword for a commercial age (5) 3 A drink from the clumsy host (4) 5 Estimate the worth of a piano player’s first pay increase (8) 6 The Italian and the French gal’s crooked (7) 7 Then I’m wrong for hired guns (3,3) 8 Be a good man, or quite the reverse (5) 13 Trick Greek island firm (8) 15 Drink in hearty style (7) 17 Assume running wild makes one smile (6) 18 Write to the church for money (5) 19 Begrudge when forwarded (6) 22 A hospital room success symbol (5) 23 Company doctor to carry out a careful examination (4)

STANDARD CLUES

26 Brine-cured (6) 27 Low wash basin (5) Down 1 Stops (6) 2 Maxim (5) 3 Gunfire (4) 5 Evaluate (8) 6 Unlawful (7) 7 Killers (3,3) 8 Brute (5) 13 Building material (8) 15 Friendly (7) 17 Entertains (6) 18 Old currency (5) 19 Begrudge (6) 22 Prize (5) 23 Search (4)

Across 1 Fellows (5) 4 Be hungry (6) 9 In vogue (1,2,4) 10 Flyer (5) 11 Sword (4) 12 Glitter (7) 13 Slice (3) 14 Reverberation (4) 16 Transaction (4) 18 Tart (3) 20 Amazing occurrence (7) 21 Comfort (4) 24 Flavouring (5) 25 Musical composition (7)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Admits, 4 Tom-tom, 9 Tornado, 10 Owing, 11 Acorn, 12 Nurture, 13 Queer street, 18 Thimble, 20 Place, 22 Alias, 23 Dwindle, 24 Steins, 25 Latent.

Down: 1 Astral, 2 Mario, 3 Trainee, 5 Odour, 6 Tribune, 7 Magnet, 8 Going steady, 14 Utilise, 15 Replica, 16 Steals, 17 Select, 19 Bosun, 21 Addle.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words The Need Ark Tor Nude Axe Yen Part 7 Bad 4 letter words Pass Boo Aloe Sere E’en Ante Soft Eft Aver Step Hoe Berg Test Kit Eden That Lei Elan Trey 8 Odd Eros 5 letter words One Exit Alert Pet Fine Evens 9 Red Fool Noted Sap Goes Snare Set Hole 6 letter words Sin Lain Legend Sly Liar Nailed

Renter Revues letter words Gradual Masseur Plaster Relapse Serpent Steeple letter words Betroths Tenement letter words Devastate Horseplay

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Comer (comida) (3) 3 Cooks (chefs) (9) 8 Capillas (religión) (7) 9 From (indicating starting place) (5) 10 Wagon (horse-drawn) (5) 11 To arrive (person, taxi, letter, meal etc) (6) 13 To finish (doing something) (6) 15 Discurso (alocución) (6) 18 To close (door, window, mouth) (6) 20 Envelope (of letter) (5) 23 Otra vez (5) 24 Islandia (7) 25 Adolescentes (jóvenes) (9) 26 Huevo (3)

Down 1 To listen to (8) 2 To bring (news, luck etc) (5) 3 Creamy (taste, texture) (f) (7) 4 Castillo (6) 5 Nobody (5) 6 Rescue (7) 7 Tallo (de flor) (4) 12 Perro pastor (8) 14 Promedio (término medio) (7) 16 Carteles (7) 17 Cardenal (médico) (6) 19 Round (of drinks, watchman) (5) 21 Valiente (persona, acción, decisión) (5) 22 Oriente (4)

33

Friday, February 24, 2012 Across 1 Which city, on the River Danube, is the capital of Hungary? (8) 7 What is the name of the Spanish national art gallery in Madrid, established in 1818? (5) 8 Which of the Brontë sisters wrote Jane Eyre? (9) 9 By what much shorter name, is the synthetic crystalline compound, lysergic acid diethylamide, a powerful hallucinogenic drug, better known? (3) 10 In grammar, what name is given to a word that is used to identify any of a class of people, places, or things? (4) 11 Cassius and which other Roman senator led the conspirators who assassinated Julius Caesar? (6) 13 From the Norwegian for ‘sloping track’, what is the name given to a downhill ski race over a winding course defined by upright poles? (6) 14 What was the title of the spinoff of the US television comedy series Soap that starred Robert Guillaume as a butler who is sent out East to work for a widowed state governor? (6) 17 See 3 Down 18 See 6 Down 20 Which large constrictor snake shares its name with a long, thin stole of feathers or fur worn around a woman’s neck? (3) 22 Which very large stars of high luminosities and low surface temperatures are thought to be in a late stage of evolution when no hydrogen remains in their cores to fuel nuclear fusion? (3,6) 23 What name is normally given to a messenger or representative, especially one on a diplomatic mission? (5) 24 In the USA, by what name is first-year student at university usually known? (8)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

Down 1 What surname is shared by Francis, a 16th/17th English statesman and philosopher and Roger, a 13th century English scientist and Franciscan monk? (5) 2 Which fictional vampire was created by the Irish writer Bram

Stoker? (7) 3/17A What name is given to the Sunday before Easter celebrated in commemoration of Christ’s triumphal entry into Jerusalem? (4,6) 4 What is the name of the planet sixth in order from the sun? (6) 5 What name was given to the inhabitants of the ancient region of Europe, corresponding to modern France, Belgium, the south Netherlands, SW Germany, and northern Italy? (5) 6/18 What was the name of the intricate fastening tied by Gordius, the king of Phrygia, and cut by the sword of Alexander the Great after he heard that whoever undid it would become ruler of Asia? (7,4) 7 Which heavy tools with rounded ends are used for crushing and grinding substances such as spices or drugs, usually in mortars?

(7) 12 Which word can precede cousin, club, dancing and music? (7) 13 Which contagious skin disease marked by itching and small raised red spots, is caused by the itch mite? (7) 15 In grammar what name is given to a word or phrase that means exactly or nearly the same as another word or phrase in the same language? (7) 16 What name is given to a male goose? (6) 17 What name is given to a simultaneous discharge of artillery or other guns in a battle? (5) 19 What is the surname of the American boxer, who, in 1986, at the age of 20, became the youngest heavyweight champion in history? (5) 21 What is the nickname of the Scottish football club whose home ground is Easter Road in Edinburgh? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH la politica - politics

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

1. What Was The First Name Of Lady Chatterley In The Novel 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'?

2. Whose Autobiography Was Entitled Moonwalk?

3. What Is Nitrous Oxide More Commonly Known As? 4. Which Country Won The 2007 Woman's World Cup Final?

5. Who did Gazza flick the ball over for the Euro 96 goal against Scotland?

6. 37% of women prefer what to sex?

7. A Jacaranda is a type of what?

8. In Which Game Might You Castle?

9. Clamart means what food will be used in the dish?

10. Name The Archbishop Of Canterbury's Special Envoy Held Hostage In Lebanon from 1987 to 1991?

11. What Is The Last Letter Of the Greek Alphabet?

12. Which South American Country Do Boca Juniors Come From?

13. What was Lily Munster's maiden name?

14. Who provided the voice of Bugs Bunny?

15. What Was The Name Of The North Sea Oil Platform That Was Destroyed In 1988?

1. Constance 2. Michael Jackson 3. Laughing Gas 4.

Germany (Beat Brazil 2.0) 5. Colin Hendry 6. Shoe shopping 7. Tree 8. Chess 9. Peas 10. Terry Waite 11. Omega 12. Argentina 13. Dracula 14. Mel Blanc 15. Piper Alpha

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 7 Bonsai, 8 Stalin, 9 Chic, 10 Polymath, 11 Memoirs, 13 Fudge, 15 Yentl, 17 Othello, 21 Waco, 23 Zealot, 24/20 Herman Melville.

Down: 1 Loch, 2 Psycho, 3 Airport, 4 Psalm, 5 Mau Mau, 6 Tintagel, 12 Eye Level, 14 Utrecht, 16 Tuvalu, 18 Edward, 19 Blitz, 22 Cyan.

16.sondeo, 17.sublevación, 18.golpe-militar. a.working class, b.conservative, c.opinion poll, d.parliament, e.left wing, f.lower class, g.ballot box,

h.military coup, i.cabinet, j.labour, k.speech, l.uprising, m.human rights, n.socialist, o.party, p.right wing, q.upper class, r.to elect.

Answers: 1d, 2i, 3o, 4p, 5e, 6b, 7j, 8n, 9g, 10f, 11a, 12k, 13m, 14r, 15g, 16c, 17l, 18h.

general QUIZ

1.cortes, 2.gabinete, 3.partido, 4.derechista, 5.izquierdista, 6.conservador, 7.laborista, 8.socialista, 9.clase-alta, 10.clase-baja, 11.clase-obrera, 12.discurso, 13.derechos-humanos, 14.elegir, 15.urnas,

ENSAHDRCQQTERRD GABINETE CLASE-ALTA TAO E T J E P O C P OAE H GOLPE-MILITAR CLASE-BAJA E R CAAS J R L R D E R V O N E I N T P I A E A T E L S F CLASE-OBRERA IZQUIERDISTA I RAZ V S S D V C C E R E S LABORISTA B B L Z W E I R R H H U S O R CONSERVADOR A O I F A F E R O E C I N K P PARTIDO CORTES G E S LE S O S O S I D S Y M SOCIALISTA E S T A N S H S I B E U Y T U DERECHISTA LAAO E U L D P OAO Q DA SONDEO DERECHOSE LC V M SAN R U M LU Z V SUBLEVACION HUMANOS G C R A T I L I M E P L O G I I T N S U B L E V A C I O N D URNAS DISCURSO R O X X MAJAB E SAL C U ELEGIR S PAR T I D O L S G C S N O Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, February 24, 2012

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 Commenting on a nearby person's "peaches" may not go down too well today. Avoid all sexy language in your lunch break. Many of your charms will leave you today, and you will be left feeling hollow and dumb. The worry you're feeling is unnecessary... because you can't avoid the horrors that await.

Sick of life Hello Rose. An ex of mine made a particularly hurtful comment recently which has made me think over a lot of things in my life.

Basically, he's "happily" married (I say that because I know for a fact he cheats on his wife and he's come onto me several times recently) and we were talking one day after meeting in the same cafe. He asked what was new as he'd heard I'd got divorced (I'm not even 30 yet) and was just generally being nosey.

I didn't go into much detail, just talked about work, new lease on life etc and he started laughing and said "you should meet someone and settle down soon, have some kids, you're not getting any younger and you don't want to end up as a used up husk" I was gobsmacked at this comment and asked why he'd said it, why he thought I needed to hear that and he'd said it was out of concern, he didn't want to see me old and alone.

So after that comment I've taken stock a little and assessed my current situation. All my friends are now married with kids, only one is not in a relationship so she's the one I spend most of my time with, which is great as she's my best friend anyway but she has a 9 year old son so sometimes it's difficult to get a babysitter so going out doesn't happen much.

I have what now appears to be a failing business, I work all the time for little money but always feel obliged to keep going as I have clients.

I'm over weight but constantly exercising and dieting to sort this.

I seem to be a constant disappointment to my family.

Every guy I meet puts these big restrictions on me and conditions which scare the life out of me...nothing is ever simple.

But try as I might I can't seem to get my life sorted.

I'm scared it's always going to be this way. I just don't know where to start and now I'm terrified of ending up a dried up husk of a woman :-( DIANE. La Zenia Hello Diane. I think that he said it out of sour grapes. You say he cheats, so his marriage can't be a bed of roses and he probably looks at your life where he imagines you

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Any film you watch over the coming weekend will stay with you forever. Please ensure the film is not Tomb Raider. Going to the movies is an excellent way to spend your final hours. I mean, final hours of the day, obviously. Not of your life. If you can fit in this week, you'll know that your work is done.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Baskets of eggs may cause problems for you today as you try to take on too much work. You can't star in your own television show if you're a no-talented idiot. Just something to keep in mind - no particular reference to you.Your lucky drink for today is: Coke. Dressing as a feline may give others cause for concern today.

Cancer June 21 - July 22

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es can more or less do as you please and felt he had to spoil it.

You are not 30 yet and the worst thing you could do is settle down with someone unsuitable because you think you might not meet anyone else.

If he says it again then ask if it's worse to be a dried out husk or a bitter and twisted hypocrite. I wouldn't consider him as a friend at all and would put off meeting up with him for a good while if not for ever.

I do hope you get your business problems sorted out though. Can you not take expert advice on this? I am sure if you sorted that aspect of your life out the rest of it would follow suit.

Analysing Thoughts Hello Rose. I recently got back in touch with a guy I dated for a couple of months about 8 years ago.

We've met up several times, he cooked a meal, I stayed over, and we spent the following day together.

This has happened four weekends in a row with Facebook messaging and texts in between. I totally don’t know where this is going and whether he just likes the sex or wants more. He says things like he is looking forward to seeing me and next time I’m at his we'll do this or that. When it’s time for us to leave each other it’s really awkward, and neither of us knows what to say. I started out seeing him again for a bit of fun

but I’m starting to fall for him. I don’t know if he sees it as just fun or what. I’m too scared to say anything in case I scare him off as its early days but at the same time I don’t want to let myself get hurt by someone who just sees this as a casual fling. What should I do?

LISA Via email Hello Lisa. Why don't you suggest meeting up midweek to do something... go to a gig or for a meal? See how you get on outside the bedroom before you put your heart on the line, who knows he might not be all that once he has to do some work! Seeing as he is texting & ringing you quite often would probably suggest that he is interested in you as a person as well as what you look like naked so get to know each other a little better, maybe you're both as shy as each other! Good luck

Lost Trust Hello Rose. About 7 months ago my son's ex cheated on him after several years together and he absolutely doted on her. He was a total mess for a while but is now at the stage where he knows he wouldn't want her back...she has tried and he rejected her.

She contacts him and tells him he's the only one for her but the hurt is too deep and he says he could never trust her again.

They did decide to try again soon after they split up. He was thrilled and hoping they would get back together and had arranged to take her out to dinner, but he arrived early

only to find another man upstairs in the home they had shared.

He has got back into the dating scene but he goes out with a girl a few times and then ends it when they start getting needy.

He's very attractive and they do seem to fall for him very easily even though he makes it clear from the outset that he's not ready for a serious relationship yet.

The latest one told him that she wanted a 'friends with benefits' type of relationship so he thought that would be okay, but then, after only two dates she told him that she could very easily fall for him and she had him heading for the door.

I'm worried that he will never feel he can trust another woman or that he'll ever be able to settle down again.

Do you have any advice for me, or that I can give to my son.

MAVIS La Mata Hello Mavis. Your son sounds like he is doing what most people do when they come out of an intense relationship, especially one where he has been hurt and trying to have a bit of fun. It's not his fault if these girls are getting too needy after a couple of dates, in fact I think it's a bit weird and who wouldn't be scared off? If he's being honest about his past then they should understand and give him enough space to get his head straightened out.

He'll get over this girl and meet someone that will give him the respect he deserves eventually, it takes time to meet and trust decent people after being treated badly but it will happen :) You sound like a great Mum, he's lucky to have you.

The countries that have issued orders for your arrest will close in today and cause you to go without clean pants for two days.

Reality TV shows are not crying out for someone like yourself. You are not photogenic and could probably do with setting your sights much lower. Don't worry. Be happy.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Everywhere you go you seem to run into trouble - try not to mess up your life by falling into any kind of trap. Feeding stray cats may seem important to you today in order to get a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction. Weather can change in an instant, so be prepared for every eventuality today.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Your vision won't fail so long as you avoid sticking forks into your eyes. You have cleverly structured an impressive set piece in your head. Put it into practise today and you'll quickly see the benefit. The tension between you and a co-worker may ease today as you suddenly realise you have other stronger ties.

Libra September 23 - October 22 One part love, one part hate. This is a recipe for your life. The end is more like the beginning than you'd think. If everything that's ever been said about you is true, why are you such a jackass? Discarded sandwiches may prove lucky for any local tramps.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Your greatest fears are about to be supplanted today by a new incredible horror. If you are extremely tired, you may find that you fall asleep at some point. Most of this sentence comes direct from the spirits that guide me through your horoscopes. Although I've added tenses to all the verbs, because they don't seem to understand time.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Exercise may seem like a dirty word, but until you lose some weight fatty, it's the dirtiest word you're going to hear for a long time.The world moves pretty fast around you and you must learn to slow it down to a reasonable pace. Much of this can be done with a hefty broad-sword.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 This is not the first time you've been caught out.

You must really be careful in future. Blue moon caught you standing alone, but ensure you're not also caught short this weekend. You have recently received some equipment for which there was a manual. Please give this manual a quick read so as to avoid problems later.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Any dreams you have been granted recently will turn out to be hollow and easily shattered.

Terrible envy can be yours all for the price of walking into a very expensive car showroom.

Use that negative energy to summon up dark spirits. The phenomenon of time standing still may occur to you numerous times today.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Lunchtime is the best time of day for you today. Romantic evenings are much overrated. Instead of romance, think about mutated pigs. You may be feeling sporty today but don't spend all that money on new sports gear and equipment. You are likely to lose interest in this new found "passion" within 20 days.

35

Friday, February 24, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY

CLASH OF THE NUGGETS! DO TV schedulers have a sadistic desire to hear viewers scream in anguish when annoying clashes happen? Salt is added to the wounds when there’s utter dross to wend your way through some nights, then suddenly all the nuggets appear together like the proverbial line of double-decker buses.

Even if you are in the fortunate position of being able to record two channels at once, it still takes a bit of working out as to which button to press at what time!

Take last Sunday night for some of the worst programming clashes I’ve known in a very long time. It’s as if the channels don’t believe there are seven days in a week when, in the middle of the evening at 10.30, Channel Four decided to premiere Homeland, the best acclaimed new US drama of

with ALEX TRELINSKI the season, against Dancing on Ice on ITV 1 and the return of Upstairs Downstairs on BBC 1.

That’s all on the back of Four spending zillions promoting the series in ads running across all kinds of channels. It’s nuthouse scheduling, and Homeland was absolutely destroyed against the powerhouse opposition, which is sad because it’s a

brilliant show, with Golden Globe awards showered on it last month.

Yes, I know that Homeland was repeated late on Monday night, but Channel Four bought it to get primetime ratings and advertising revenue, which it will clearly fall well short on. But these days, showing cheap reality shows like Coppers or Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on a weekday primetime is sadly what Four is about, rather than quality US or British drama.

Homeland itself is an excellent piece of TV, Claire Danes playing a CIA agent who believes that something nasty, along the lines of 9/11, is going to happen in America. Danes, with a few skeletons in her cupboard, is terrific and so is Brit Damien Lewis. He plays a Marine who has just been released after being held prisoner in

Homeland...the best acclaimed new US drama

Afghanistan, and who Danes suspects might be working for the other side.

Cue conspiracy theories and not knowing who to trust, as episode one gets you hooked from the off. There won’t be many better new dramas crossing over the Atlantic this year, so do try to catch it.

Some 18 months ago we had the unpleasant spectre of a peeing contest between Downton Abbey and Upstairs Downstairs.

There were vicious accusations of who had allegedly ripped off whom, yet the new Downton boy on the block stole the critical and ratings march on the BBC Upstairs revival, which aired a couple of months later during the 2010 festive season.

Fast forward to last Sunday, and Upstairs was back on the Beeb for the start of a much longer run, written

by Heidi Thomas, who just happened to have penned the screen play for the preceding hit, Call the Midwife!

I loved the settings of 1938 and the politics of the time, as well as just wallowing in a highly entertaining escapist hour, which is also why Midwife has been so popular.

Surely there is room for Downton and Downstairs to co-exist happily ever after, which is what most viewers would want.

There was a pretty pathetic sight on the box on

PAUL GIAMATTI stars as Mike Flaherty, a down-onhis-luck lawyer who moonlights as a down-on-hisluck high school wrestling coach for a team that hasn’t won a match in years. keep his various lies and Mike is beset with seri- CAST: Paul Giamatti, Amy Ryan, Melanie Lynskey, scams going long ous money problems that DIRECTOR: Thomas McCarthy enough to make extra he is trying to keep GENRE: Comedy RATING: 4/5 RUNNING TIME: 106 min. money and win a champisecret from his wife, check on him once in a cannot be found. onship tournament withJackie (Amy Ryan), and it great while and pocket Amazingly, this too has a out everything falling looks as though his the $1500-a-month fee for silver lining when it turns apart but I suspect that prayers may be answered his guardianship. This out that Kyle is a champi- the knowledge that he is when he agrees to act as plan seems foolproof but on wrestler. Mike enrols a character being played the guardian for Leo hits a snag almost immehim in school, puts him by Paul Giamatti should (Burt Young), a wealthy diately when teenager on the team and finally be enough of a hint for old client who is entering Kyle (Alex Shaffer) turns begins racking up wins. I most of you. the first stages of demen- up on his doorstop wouldn’t dream of telling “Win Win” is a wonderful tia and whose only claiming to be Leo’s you if Mike is able to movie and although it known blood relative, an grandson. In order to estranged daughter, can- keep his scam going, This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING not be found. All he has Mike is forced to take MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all to do is put Leo in a near- Kyle in when his druggie over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel by retirement community, mum (Melanie Lynskey) 650 944 934 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

Hustle...always entertaining

Saturday night - ex-Strictly Come Dancing champion Darren Gough doing an imitation of the Michelin Man in a mediocre West Side Story routine on BBC 1’s Let’s Dance for Sport Relief.

Talk about destroying your reputation in a show that was low on laughs and high on cringe.

In previous years, there have been some good giggles but the whole thing just felt very strung out and you cried out for show-stoppers of the past like Robert Webb, Rufus Hound or Jo Brand.

Let’s hope it gets miles better tomorrow, though the big news was co-presenter Steve Jones having a really good time and in control of things as opposed to his dreadful performance on The X Factor USA. Top marks to

WIN WIN 15 may not be artistically flamboyant, it is a distinctive and fascinating work from a unique filmmaker on the rise as it was. If you have a chance to see it, by all means take it, unlike its sad hero, you will not be disappointed.

him for being on the ball in what was a crucial career comeback.

I was sad to see the lastever episode of Hustle on BBC1 last Friday. It’s always been entertaining, and although the start of the final story, with the crew apparently getting killed had me worried, it all turned out well, with a genuine unpreviewed surprise appearance from one of the original stars, Marc Warren.

Tonight, my Hustle void at ten will be filled by the start of series five of Benidorm on ITV1. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the show returns to its glory days, after what I thought was largely a hit-and-miss set of stories last year, though the viewers stayed very loyal to it.

36

The Courier Friday TV

February 24

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:50 Birdsong 04:20 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 05:05 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Doorstep Crime 999 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 School for Stars 16:35 Wingin' It 16:55 Diddy Dick & Dom 17:15 OOglies 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

07:25 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Deadly 60 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:20 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 LazyTown 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Animal Park 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain's Heritage Heroes 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Mastermind 22:00 Melvyn Bragg on Class & Culture 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 Take Me Out 02:00 The Zone 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Safari Vet School 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight 23:35 Walking Tall

BENIDORM

BBC2 00:20 01:20 02:20 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:40 05:00 Greek 07:00 07:10

On Hannibal's Trail The Tube Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close Languages & Travel: Talk Little Robots Zigby

New Series. A new manager arrives at the Solana determined to transform it into a four-star hotel, but the start of the holidays proves chaotic for the staff as well as the guests. Mateo and Les/Lesley are barely keeping things under control, while a coachload of angry tourists, including Gavin and Noreen, have all had their luggage misplaced by a travel company

00:05 01:10 01:15 02:25 Truth 03:20 04:15 04:55 05:35 06:30 07:15 07:20 07:25 07:35 08:00 08:30 08:55 09:25 09:50 10:55 12:00 13:00 13:05 14:05 16:10 17:00 18:00 18:30 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 20:35 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:50

Coppers Random Acts True Stories Gok's Teens: The Naked Dispatches 90210 Brothers & Sisters Time Team Countdown Channel 4 Presents Sali Mali The Treacle People The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed According to Jim Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss Relocation, Relocation A Place in the Sun Channel 4 News Summary Kirstie's Handmade Britain Murphy's War Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me Coach Trip The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv Come Dine with Me New Girl The Bank Job The Mad Bad Ad Show Rude Tube

01:20 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Build a New Life in the Country 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Ladies of the House 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol 21:00 World's Toughest Trucker 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT...

That hurts A 70-year-old man from Zimbabwe narrowly escaped a crocodile attack as he crossed the Chivake River with his pants off -- but he lost part of his testicles and suffered a few broken bones in the melee.

Jonah Maturure said that he'd taken off his trousers and put them in a tomato box above his head before he crossed the river. He'd crossed the same spot in the same river several times before, but this time, a giant croc was waiting for him.

"I was not suspecting anything ... But when I was almost in the middle of the river I was attacked," he told the news website. "It mauled a chunk of my buttocks before attacking my manhood, tearing my testicles into shreds. The skin covering my manhood was partly torn but I quickly put my thumb in its mouth ... It then grabbed my hand and I could hear my bones cracking."

Realizing that he wasn't going to save his personal possessions, he threw his tomato box in the river.

That move may have saved his life.

The beast loosened its death grip and swam straight for the tomato box.

Maturure escaped, bleeding profusely from his nethers, and ran to a nearby house for help.

The battle was just one of a string of crocodile attacks recently in Gutu, an area with a spread-out population of just 78 people per mile.

SHOCK TACTICS

Ultimate Tazer Ball Shock tactics: A tackle from behind as an attacker is zapped with electricity during one of the first official games of Ultimate Tazer Ball.

SPORT at its best is electrifying – but one new game takes the concept a little too literally by allowing players to tackle opponents by zapping them with stun guns.

Ultimate Tazer Ball allows players to zap opponents with 300,000-volt stun guns, to induce a muscle spasm which will make them drop the ball or trip over.

There have been no official games played but the sport’s creators insist it is genuine and claim they are planning to form a league.

A promotional video has been seen by more than 1million viewers on YouTube.

The game’s US inventors say the stun guns are designed to deliver eight milliamps of current – well

below the lethal dose of one amp but enough to test even the legendary ball skills of Barcelona’s Lionel Messi.

In the video clip, one zapped player warns: ‘If you’re scared, don’t play.’ Another says: ‘It hurts, man, it doesn’t feel good.’

Only the player in possession may be zapped as teams of four compete to manoeuvre an over-sized foam ball into their opponents’ net.

There are four fledgling teams – LA Nightlight, Philadelphia Killawatts, Canadian side Toronto Terror and San Diego Spartans.

Toronto Terror look set to encounter problems at home games, as stun guns are banned in Canada.

Sweet justice

POLICE in Kentucky arrested a man last Thursday after they found him completely covered in chocolate and peanut butter lying down on a supermarket floor.

According to a police report, 22-year-old Andrew Toothman smashed through the Food World IGA's glass front door wearing only boots. He then emptied all of the market's fire extinguishers and spelled out "Sorry" on the floor using NyQuil before heading to the confections.

"The subject had peanut butter and chocolate smeared all over his person," the officer wrote. "[He] admitted to breaking into Food World IGA." CBS News quoted the officer as saying it was the "biggest mess I have seen."

Toothman was booked into the Letcher County Jail on charges of indecent exposure, burglary, and criminal mischief. He was held on $25,000, though he is now released.

37

The Courier Saturday TV

February 25

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 Scary Movie 3 01:45 Weatherview 01:50 Question Time 02:50 Great Barrier Reef 03:50 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 04:35 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:15 Pointless Celebrities 20:10 Let's Dance for Sport Relief 21:30 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day BBC2 00:00 00:45 00:50 02:40 03:40 04:00 04:30 04:35 07:00

The Review Show Weather Felicia's Journey The Culture Show The Record Europe BBC News Click Close Little Robots

07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 Ultimate Sports Day 10:30 Blue Peter 11:00 My Life 11:30 Trapped Ever After 12:00 Hacker Time 12:25 OOglies 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Howl's Moving Castle 15:00 Escape to the Country 15:45 Animal 24:7 16:30 Birds Britannia 17:30 Final Score 18:20 Coast 18:50 Flog It! 19:50 Dad's Army 20:20 The Story of Light Entertainment 21:20 The Story of Musicals 22:20 I'm in a Boy Band 23:20 TOTP2

01:05 ITV News Headlines 03:05 King Kong 05:20 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 This Morning: Saturday 13:20 Murder, She Wrote 14:20 ITV News and Weather 14:24 Meridian Weather 14:25 Casino Royale 16:50 Nanny McPhee 18:35 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:05 All Star Family Fortunes 20:05 New You've Been Framed!

20:35 Harry Hill's TV Burp 21:05 Take Me Out 22:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:34 Meridian Weather 23:35 The Bodyguard

SHOOTER Action thriller starring Mark Wahlberg. US Army sniper Bob Lee Swagger has become a recluse after narrowly escaping death during a failed mission in Ethiopia. Persuaded out of retirement by a former colleague to help foil a plot to assassinate the US President, Swagger is horrified to discover that he's been set up as a patsy for the crime and is forced to go on the run.

00:55 10 O'Clock Live 01:50 Wolf Creek 03:35 Random Acts 03:40 My Name Is Earl 04:25 Hung 04:55 90210 05:35 Brothers & Sisters 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everyone's Talking About Top 10 10:25 Bourjois Boutique 10:55 Playing It Straight 11:55 New Girl 12:25 The Simpsons 12:55 Charlie's Angels 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me 17:25 Come Dine with Me 17:55 Come Dine with Me 18:25 Come Dine with Me 19:00 Channel 4 News 19:15 4thought.tv 19:20 Night at the Museum 2 21:20 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 22:20 The Bank Job 23:20 Shooter

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:05 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family!

08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:50 Milkshake! Monkey 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:50 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 World's Toughest Trucker 12:00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol 13:00 Braveheart: The True Story 14:00 The Duel at Silver Creek 15:30 Day of the Evil Gun 17:25 The Dirty Dozen 20:15 5 News Weekend 20:20 NCIS 21:15 NCIS 22:10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:10 CSI: NY

38

The Courier Sunday TV

February 26

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 00:45 The Football League Show 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London

07:35 07:45 08:00 08:30

04:00 BBC News

08:40

04:30 On the Road With

09:05

05:00 BBC News

09:30

05:30 Click

10:00

06:00 BBC News

11:00

06:30 The Record Europe

12:35

07:00 Breakfast

14:00

08:40 Match of the Day

15:30

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Sunday Politics 14:05 EastEnders

18:00 18:30 19:00 20:00

16:00 Match of the Day Live

21:00

19:30 BBC News; Regional News

22:00

and Weather

23:00

20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Upstairs Downstairs 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather

00:20 Pan Am 01:00 interMission 02:45 The Sorcerers 04:05 Close

01:50 01:50 Octonauts 04:00 Everything's Rosie 04:45 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 06:30 07:00 Dennis and Gnasher 08:25 The Owl 10:25 Paradise Cafe 10:30 11:30 Wingin' It 12:30 Friday Download 13:30 Something for the Weekend 13:44 13:45 The Red Beret 14:45 Cowboy 16:45 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 18:50 19:05 Songs of Praise 19:20 Coast 19:50 I'm in a Boy Band 21:30 World's Most Dangerous Roads 22:30 23:00 Top Gear 23:30 Swimming with Crocodiles 23:44 Match of the Day 2 23:45

07:20 Garth and Bev

ITV News Headlines The Zone In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV ITV News Ade in Britain Dinner Date Dickinson's Real Deal ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Murder, She Wrote Columbo: Agenda for Murder Midsomer Murders Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather Harry Hill's TV Burp Dancing on Ice Wild at Heart Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off That Sunday Night Show ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Piers Morgan's Life Stories

DANCING ON ICE Torvill and Dean have been putting the remaining seven celebrities through their paces with their most demanding routines yet, and now the contestants demonstrate what they have learnt in a rockthemed show. Louie Spence, Robin Cousins and Katarina Witt provide the comments and scores, and viewers have their say when phone lines open at the end of the programme.

01:45 03:25 03:30 05:00 05:40 06:20 07:05 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:05 08:30 08:55 09:25 10:20 12:55 13:25 13:55 14:25 15:00 15:35 17:20 18:20 19:25 19:55 20:00 20:05 21:00 22:00 23:00

Cop Land The Tannery Little Red Flowers 90210 Brothers & Sisters Countdown Sali Mali The Hoobs The Hoobs Channel 4 Presents That Paralympic Show Sailing Bourjois Boutique One Tree Hill Hollyoaks The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Robots Deal or No Deal Time Team Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Political Slot Home of the Future The Hotel Homeland Law Abiding Citizen

00:10 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:05 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:50 Rough Guide to Short Breaks 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family!

08:35 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Little Lodgers 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Milkshake! Monkey 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 09:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 Grey's Anatomy 12:15 Police Interceptors 13:20 The Cassandra Crossing 15:50 My Girl 17:50 Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World 19:10 The House Bunny 21:00 Cowboy Builders 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 The Outlaw Josey Wales

39

The Courier Monday TV

February 27

00:05 The League Cup Show 00:50 The Apprentice USA 02:15 Weatherview 02:20 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 03:00 Holby City 04:00 Accused 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Picture of Health 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Doorstep Crime 999 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 Wingin' It 16:55 Deadly Art 17:15 OOglies 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Empire 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Animal Park 14:45 On the Road with the Chief Beefeater 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff 22:00 The Tube 23:00 Watson & Oliver 23:30 Weather

00:50 Premiership Rugby Union 01:40 ITV News Headlines 01:40 The Zone 03:45 River Monsters 04:35 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Whitechapel 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight 23:35 The Agenda

WHITECHAPEL

BBC2 00:15 Three Men Go to Ireland 01:00 Rugby Union: Six Nations Highlights 01:45 Point Blank 03:15 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts

Part one of two. A dangerous patient and former Whitechapel resident escapes from a psychiatric unit around the same time a babysitter is murdered.

With the area becoming the focus of a series of terrifying events in quick succession, Chandler's quest to bring in a suspect alive jeopardises his relationship with Miles. Two-part series finale, starring Rupert Penry-Jones and Phil Davis.

01:05 Terminal Velocity 02:50 The Big Bang Theory 03:35 New Girl 04:00 90210 04:45 Brothers & Sisters 05:25 Time Team 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss 10:55 Three in a Bed 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 13:10 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 13:40 Terms of Endearment 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 SuperScrimpers 22:00 Coppers 23:00 Proud and Prejudiced

00:50 Maximum Risk 02:40 SuperCasino 05:00 UEFA Europa League Highlights 05:45 Rough Guide to Bang for Your Buck 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Killer Flood 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 World's Toughest Trucker 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan 23:00 Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

February 28

00:05 Late Kick Off 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:25 The Apprentice USA 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 Great British Food Revival 03:55 Royal Wedding 05:15 Rip Off Britain 05:45 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Picture of Health 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Doorstep Crime 999 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 Wingin' It 16:55 Deadly Art 17:15 OOglies 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Prisoners' Wives 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Richard Dimbleby Lecture 2012 BBC2 00:20 01:00 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:10 05:00 06:30 07:00 07:10 07:20

Pan Am BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday The Super League Show Seriously Raleigh William Whiskerson Little Robots Zigby Garth and Bev

07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Animal Park 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 21:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Have I Got Old News for You 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 That Sunday Night Show 00:40 River Monsters 01:05 The Unforgettable 01:30 ITV News Headlines 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Champions League Weekly 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 River Monsters 21:00 The Exit List 22:00 The Biggest Loser 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Benidorm

APOLLO 13: THE TRUE STORY In 1970, an exploding oxygen tank put paid to Nasa's third mission to the moon, and left the astronauts in extreme danger 200,000 miles from Earth. Twenty-five years later, Tom Hanks starred in Apollo 13, the Oscar-winning account of the disaster. But how much of the film was fact and how much was fiction?

00:05 Homeland 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Shameless 02:15 Comedy Lab 02:40 Embarrassing Bodies: Back to the Clinic 03:35 Undressing My Mother 03:40 Brothers & Sisters 04:25 90210 05:10 This Is Me 05:15 Home of the Future 06:10 Full Metal Challenge 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss 10:55 Three in a Bed 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 13:20 Battle Cry 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 23:00 Shameless

01:10 Soho Blues 02:05 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 The Staircase Murders 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Apollo 13: The True Story 22:00 Body of Proof 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 CSI: Miami

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

February 29

00:20 Who Do You Think You Are? US 00:50 The Apprentice USA 02:15 Weatherview 02:20 Inside Men 03:20 An Island Parish 03:50 Rip Off Britain 04:20 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 05:05 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Picture of Health 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Doorstep Crime 999 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 Wingin' It 16:55 Diddy Dick & Dom 17:15 OOglies 17:30 My Life 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 The Food Inspectors 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:45 Kevin Bridges What's the Story?

BBC2 00:20 Rubicon 01:50 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 The Bloodhound Adventure 06:00 After Life: Rot Box Detectives 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev

07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Coast 14:40 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:10 Weakest Link 15:55 Helicopter Heroes 16:40 Flog It! 17:25 Perfection 18:10 Antiques Road Trip 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 Escape to the Country 20:30 Watson & Oliver 21:00 The Fisherman's Apprentice with Monty Halls 22:00 Wonderland 23:00 Roger & Val Have Just Got In 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Cube 01:30 ITV News Headlines 01:30 The Zone 04:00 Crossing Jordan 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live International Football 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:45 International Football

LIVE INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL Coverage of this evening's friendly encounter at Wembley Stadium, as the hosts play their first match since Fabio Capello's resignation earlier this month. Stuart Pearce takes charge of England as they welcome the Dutch, who finished as runners-up in the 2010 World Cup and are one of the favourites for this summer's European Championships.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Desperate Housewives 01:10 Poker 02:10 Sailing 02:35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:05 Best of British 04:00 Late Night Poker 04:55 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Rally Driving 05:00 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Sheepdog 05:10 That Paralympic Show 05:35 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 06:30 FIM Superbike World Championship 06:55 Channel 4 Presents 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Three in a Bed 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Channel 4 Presents 13:10 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 13:30 Reach for the Sky 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Daddy Daycare 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 10 O'Clock Live 23:55 The Mad Bad Ad Show

00:55 CSI: NY 01:55 Inside Hollywood 02:05 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Mystery Woman 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Big Body Squad 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

42

The Courier Thursday TV

March 1

00:15 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 00:55 Racing for Time 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 See Hear 02:55 Upstairs Downstairs 03:55 An Island Parish 04:25 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 05:10 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Picture of Health 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Doorstep Crime 999 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 Wingin' It 16:55 Diddy Dick & Dom 17:15 OOglies 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 The Great British Countryside 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time BBC2 00:20 Crash 02:10 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 06:30 07:00 07:10 07:20 07:35

Stranded! The Andes Plane Survivors: Storyville Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today E20 Acting Around Words Little Robots Zigby Garth and Bev Octonauts

07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Animal Park 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 22:00 Japan - Children of the Tsunami 23:00 Mock the Week - Again 23:30 Newsnight

00:50 Kidnap and Ransom 01:40 ITV News Headlines 01:40 The Zone 03:45 Jaws III 05:20 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Kidnap and Ransom 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 My Dad Is a Woman

THE DA VINCI SHROUD REVEALED In 1988, scientists ran a series of tests on the shroud of Turin, the relic said to be the cloth in which the body of Christ was swathed after death.

The results dated the material's origins to the early 14th century, proving it to be a fake. Historian Emily Craig examines claims that Leonardo da Vinci was commissioned by members of a powerful Italian dynasty to produce the artefact and used a primitive form of camera to create the image.

00:45 Random Acts 00:50 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 01:10 Black Cab Sessions 01:40 Countdown to the NME Awards 2012 01:55 4Play: Birdy 02:05 Professor Green Unseen: After Hours 02:35 Curated by Lyle and Scott 02:45 Live from Abbey Road 03:30 Sex Lives of the Potato Men 04:55 90210 05:40 Brothers & Sisters 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Three in a Bed 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 13:20 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 13:50 Hellfighters 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Make Bradford British 23:00 Our Man In

00:55 Poker: The Big Game 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Accused at 17 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Holiday Heaven on Earth 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 The Da Vinci Shroud Revealed 22:00 The Transporter 23:55 Ultimate Police Interceptors

43

Friday, February 24, 2012 www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

AWNINGS

ACCOMODATION Small, economic family run hotel, situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35€ per room, per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations.

PROPERTY FOR RENT

ACCOUNTANTS

all policies available in English or German. We will call you back with a price. 966 923 963

Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLD DRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900. 25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH GUARANTEED SITES. 619 307 318. (52) Huge Bar Restaurant with 6 room Hotel FOR RENT Very popular place only 36,000 euro for the whole year - NO MONTHLY RENT TO PAY! Call 651 885 200

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House

AIR CONDITIONING

INSURANCE

groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am.

Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Try Professional Business Support for your quick quote for car insurance.

Excellent prices for expats,

For all your insurance needs, ie.home, car, health, funeral, travel, etc Excellent cover from Spain´s 5th biggest insurance company, “CASER”.

Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from a real person/our friendly staff.

MEDICAL Make the most of private health care and private hospitals, we have great cover and a two tier pricing system to suit your age and pocket. All policies in English, many English speaking doctors or free translators at your service.

Call us now on 966 923 963, and we will call you back with your quote.

Caser Health Care .

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit:

Ref. 91, This lovely one bedroom apartment is on the fifth (top) floor of block one of the Miramar development - but don't worry about climbing the stairs, as there is a lift! A parking space is included in the key operated underground garage. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars.

Short term only. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term or Short term available. €795PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

HEARING AIDS

BLINDS / AWNINGS

CCTV

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. €300PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. €425PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis.

The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. €250PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 702, A lovely 2 bedroom apartment in a quiet area of Torrevieja yet within walking distance to local beaches and amenities.

It’s also less than an hour’s drive from both Alicante and Murcia San Javier Airports. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 135, An outstanding two bedroom villa with one double and one twin room on the VillaMartin golf complex. There is a very pleasant terrace off the main bedroom and from the sun terrace on the roof the views are excellent. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref. 04, A 2 bedroom apartment one street back from the famous Cabo Roig strip. There is a selection of local shops, restaurants and bars on the doorstep with the shopping strip only 400 metres away. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 92, A lovely three bedroom apartment on the ground floor of block one of the Miramar developments. A small balcony runs the width of the lounge area above the small private garden area at the front of the property. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 104, Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance to the Friday Market, Town Centre and the beach. Close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. €350PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 151, Beautiful Family 3 Bedroom Villa. Well equipped American kitchen, double bedroom and bathroom. A further 2 bedrooms, bathroom, large terrace with sun loungers, table and chairs, bbq, and beautiful sea view. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A.Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Detached villa with large oasis pool. Situated on first Urb. In Gran Alacant.

500m2 plot, electric gates, alarmed 3 beds, 3 baths, fully furnished. Recently reduced for a quick sale Now only 260.000 euros Call 680 333 242 quoting ref 33 Altomar II in Gran Alacant Investment opportunity…

82.000 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, lounge diner, ind.

Kitchen, Glazed in Galleria, S/Facing, extra storage Fully furnished, Private parking, Com pools Ring 627 711 155 to view.

COMPUTERS

AUCTION

AUTO ELECTRICIAN

44

Friday, February 24, 2012

Duplex in Monte y Mar, GA 2 Bed, 1 Bath, ground floor with views Fully furnished, A/Con, Heating, Ceiling Fans, English TV, garden, Communal pool, for apt please call 966 699 136 to view only 115.000 ono REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated parking, walking distance to Shops bars restaurants etc. 627 711 155 Calling all serious Buyers.

I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant.

Everything included in price, fantastic Alicante/sea views. As a starting price I am looking in the region of 265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242 Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished.

Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing.

Lovely well maintained terraced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything

CREATIVE CONCRETE

included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to shops, bars restaurants.

Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve.

Private parking, call 680 333 242 for more details.

133.000 euros Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbanisation Please ring 966 699 136 after 6pm (english & spanish spoken) Now only 125.000 euros excellent value in Gran Alacant.

Quick sale needed.

199.000 euros ono Detached property in Puerto Marina. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, Immaculately furnished Alarmed, Central heating, Log fire, Hot & Cold air con, open fields to the rear, Private parking, Communal pools.

966.699.478 after 5 pm.

Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant 209,000 euros 3 Double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes 2 bathrooms, spacious kitchen with galleria Lounge complete with chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private

Parking. A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2 built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire, Under build, Alarmed, Mature Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates. 260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken.

EXPAT SERVICES

FURNITURE

DAMP PROOFING

HEATING

FAST BROADBAND

ELECTRICIAN

LOCKSMITH

NEWS AGENTS

Walking distance to all local amenities in GA Detached Villa with large pool. Decoratively tiled Garden, complete with BBQ. Est. palm & fruit trees. 3 bed, 3 bath, Fully Furnished including all electrical appliances.

Quick sale needed, 270.000 euros, but very negotiable. For appointment to view call 966 699 478 after 5pm Top floor duplex in Puerto Marina, G/Alacant 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, glazed-in porch, large roof-top solarium with views, Top quality furniture and appliances included. Secure private parking, communal pools, 108,000 euros. If you would like to view call 627 711 155 for an immediate appointment.

DANCE CLASSES

FISHING

GLASS CURTAINS

GARDENING

PLUMBERS

DOMESTIC SHUTTERS

PETS

SECURITY

SEWING

45

Friday, February 24, 2012

LIMITED EDITION One of only a few bungalows in Gran Alacant. Top of the range furniture and appliances included. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large kitchen, leading to galleria, huge roof top solarium with fantastic views of Alicante and mountains. Electronic gates leading to garage, 500m2 plot, 10x5 pool with irrigated gardens By appointment only, ring 680333242 325.000 ono Large family Home in Izla de Izaro, G.A (bajo) 4 bed,

HAIR DRESSING

3 bath, stunning communal pool with Jacuzzi & water features. Children’s play area and fantastic communal gardens. Very high standard throughout, Large converted under build & garage, elec.

Gates Alarmed, A/con, outside kitchen and bathroom, 399.000 ono. To view call 966699136 after 5pm.

Monte Y Mar - Gran Alacant Detached Villa with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge-diner, front porch, Large solarium with views. 400m2 plot Low maintenance irrigated gardens, Private pool &

Parking. Tastefully furnished throughout and everything included.

Recently Reduced to 239.000 euros. For more details call 627.711.155 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to

SURVEYS

beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two

SPANISH LESSONS

MASSAGE

bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace.

This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens,

with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 For Sale. Quick sale. 3 bed town house. 1 1/2 bath, solarium, air-con, com pool, car space, Price €75.000 Phone 650 580 639 / 670 450 843 (54)

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, accident claims, legalise land.

Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor.

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service.

Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (61)

WANTED SIGN WRITING

PLASTERER

PAINTER

REMOVALS

PERSONAL

WATER FILTERS

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

Recovery & Breakdown Services

46

Friday, February 24, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

HANDICAPPED - BY THE SYSTEM ITSELF!

GOLF, unlike any other sport, allows players of different abilities to compete fairly against one another. The system that allows for this is the golf handicap.

If you are playing consistently, you will want to establish your handicap with an authority organisation sanctioned by the Real Federacion Española of Golf (RFEG). But it seems there are two here.

I am often asked about the handicapping system as used in Spain and when I mention the Slope System, the look I get is as though my flies are open. So let me try to explain.

In the UK, the handicapping system, called CONGU (Council of National Golf Unions), is set up to be measured for all the courses you play and is adjusted based on strokes taken to complete a round at any given course and strokes given according to the Stroke Index (SI) per hole.

Each course is valued according to the CONGU system for a Scratch player only, the Standard Scratch System (SSS).

On June 15, 2000, a new system of handicapping was introduced into Spain called the Slope System, similar to that first approved for the United States Golf Association (USGA) in January 1987.

This system adjusts the caps to compete on an even playing handicap to suit each basis, no matter on what course you choose to play on course the handicap was any given day and is based gained.

The Slope System values solely on Stableford points, each course, but importantly not strokes.

The EGA introduced the as if it was played by two new handicap system to golfers, (1) A Scratch golfer enable players of all handi- with a handicap of 0-5 and THE Murcia Match Play League teams met to do battle once again on a cold and windy day when it q was difficult to find the greens, writes Alex McLennan.

The only surprise score was the win by the S.P.Crew, who are second bottom, over Roda Golf by 30pts to 19.

Leaders Diamontes beat Sensol 31-19 to stay top of the league. Second-placed Camposol had a very tight game against San Javier and although it was two wins each, San Javier - with their captain taking on two players on his own - went down by 33pts to 24. In another tight game Hacienda lost to Sierra Golf 32-26, and finally, Roco Gogs beat La Manga 24-19.

February League Table: Diamontes 178pts; Camposol 163pts; Sierra Golf 160pts; Roco-Gogs 153pts; Sensol 148pts; San Javier 143pts; La Manga 140pts; Roda Golf 138pts; S P Crew 129pts; Hacienda 123pts .

q

(2) A Bogey golfer with a handicap of 18-23.

The Slope System is an improvement of the existing system, whereby each golf course is evaluated and takes into account the varying difficulties on each hole.

The European Golf Association (EGA) and the offices of the Real Federacion Española of Golf

(RFEG) have adopted the Slope System and each course in Spain has been rated from all the data the course evaluators have provided.

Therefore a player is allocated with an Exact Handicap (EHC) and this is applied to the course’s Slope Chart he is to play to obtain a Playing Handicap (PHC) If he scores over 36 Stableford points, a reduction is applied by multiplying the number of points by the unit value according to the player’s category and the EHC adjusted - and any increase is also applied to the player’s EHC. In 2008, for some inexplicable reason, and best known to the RFEG, they moved away, in part, from the EGA system by adding more handicap breaks to the tables, used to adjust the

handicaps of players.

Now you could say that the system used by the RFEG is better as it reduces the better player’s handicap quicker.

But is it?

Over the years I have been in contact with the European Golf Association, which is based in Zurich, and asked why the RFEG had changed.

A definite answer was not given so it was not clear other than with the RFEG which had decided to go in a different direction, despite agreeing to adopt the EGA system.

At the beginning of this year, a revised edition of the EGA Handicap System was issued which took effect from January 1. This can be seen on the EGA Website at h t t p : / / w w w. e g a golf.ch/030000/030100.asp The RFEG website still had the old Handicap System 2008-2010, so I contacted both the EGA and RFEG to see if the same Hsystem would be used in Spain. The following is the EGA’s answer... ‘’The RFEG has signed up for the 2012-2015 EGA Handicap Licence and will be applying it as well as conducting pilot projects in collaboration with the EGA HCRC. It is possible that they are just behind updating information on their website.

“We would advise you to contact the RFEG Handicapping Department

TAKE A TIP

for more detailed information on the appliance of the system in Spain.’’

So that is exactly what I did and this is the reply I received from the RFEG Departamento de Handicaps.

“RFEG will adopt the 2012 EGA Handicap System in a near future. We are currently in a massive change of our entire IT infrastructure. Once the renovation has been accomplished the 2012 EGA Handicap System will be running. We will announce the

date to change to the new system with enough time to allow players, committees and clubs to make inner changes (software). http://www.rfegolf.es’’ But hello, it came into operation on January 1st and what is the ‘near future’?

So there you have it, there is a differing system in operation but no one knows in Spain (apart from you, the readers, that is).

DIVOTS EXPLAINED By Ivie Davies

YOU may not know but you can learn quite a bit about your swing by looking at your divot! Decoding that deep scrape in the grass could lead you to the solution for a golfing problem. Here are a few of the most common divots, what they cause and what you can learn.

1. THE TOE DEEP DIVOT: What’s happened? The club has dug deep into the turf with the toe of the club first as it cuts across the target line from out to in.

The result? This will cause a pull shot that goes straight left or even a slice curving out to the right.

2. DIVOT AIMING RIGHT What’s happened? The club has approached the ball from the inside

the target line and pushed it right.

The result? If your hands are active through the shot, this type of divot will produce a hook.

3. MASSIVE DIVOT What’s happened? Here, the club has dug into the ground way before the ball because of a steep downswing.

The result? A heavy contact where the turf has been taken before the ball, losing any power in the shot.

4. THE PERFECT DIVOT Taking a perfect divot means you have made a good swing. The divot is directly down the target line and is taken just after the ball – ball first, divot second.

Friday, February 24, 2012

47

DOWN IN THE DINK CHELSEA'S woes continue with their 3-1 defeat at Napoli virtually consigning them to another season without success in Europe.

But, more importantly, it could sound the

death knell for under fire manager Andre Villas Boas. The press and now the club seem determined to remove him from the manager's job at Stamford Bridge, though quite what he has done to upset the scribes I don't know.

It is easier to understand why he has lost the dressing room. Holding a meeting and asking the players to express their views and then dropping anyone who didn't agree with him is not exactly great man-management, is it?

After all, Ashley Cole might be an obnoxious little oik, but he does happen to be the best left back in the country and dropping him is not the best way to get him onside. It rebounded on AVB big style as he was forced to call Cole off the bench in Italy within a few minutes of the game getting under way because of an injury.

Leaving out the others is arguable. A replacement has to be found for Frank Lampard eventually and the same can be said for John Terry, although injury and the need for an operation is forcing AVB's hand on that particular score anyway.

On the subject of Terry, that injury does seem a rather convenient way of avoiding any embarrassment to the England selectors with the European Championship finals approaching rapidly. I don't doubt Terry has an injury problem though, among his many others at the moment, but it all adds up to a major crisis for the Blues.

The next question is who will be Chelsea's next manager. They are rapidly running out of alternatives, having tried nearly every top quality contender already. But good old

AVB on way out – and Guus who’s top target?

Guus Hiddink will no doubt be right in the frame again and if he is available and willing I would go with him and stick with him if Chelsea are to eventually turn things around.

It won't be this season, though, and Manchester City sounded a real warning with their emphatic 40 demolition of Porto at the Etihad. City seem to have found their level in Europe for now and it can only do them a power of good if they go on and win the competition.

Success breeds success and the more they win the stronger they will get. It already promises to be a great two-horse race for the Premier League title and the pressure is back on Manchester United now as they trail City by two points and have to follow their lead in the Europa Cup. As the Courier went to press, United were going into their Europa League tie with a 2-0 lead over Ajax from the first leg in Holland. They should complete that job and then it’s on to the next round of Premier League games.

They face the trickier task this weekend with an away trip to Norwich while City take on relegation strugglers Blackburn at the Etihad. They will do well to remember what

Blackburn did to United at Old Trafford on New Year’s Eve if they are to avoid any hiccups as they build towards that home title decider against United at the end of April.

Elsewhere, the North London derby at the Emirates between Arsenal and Tottenham could see the end for Arsene Wenger if they are embarrassed in front of their own fans by their arch rivals.

Chelsea should see off Bolton despite all their troubles and I take Sunderland to come up with another win at West Brom.

That really would be a result because the Baggies are no pushovers and if Peter Odemwingie is playing and on form he will have to be stopped if Martin O'Neill's men are to continue their fine run of form since he took over.

CRISTIAN ANSWERS MONTE’S PRAYERS THADER "B" 1 - 2 CD MONTESINOS CD Montesinos took all three points from their visit to Rojales - but for much of the game, the result was in doubt.

Still without three first team regulars, the visitors lost another after just 20 minutes of this game.

Monte dominated from the start and had this been a boxing contest it would have been stopped on points at the half way stage. Vazquinho missed three great chances in the first 15 minutes before being taken off injured again, all with only

the home keeper to beat. Edu also missed two clear chances and last week’s hero, youth player Omar, also missed a couple.

But it was top scorer Edu who eventually beat the home keeper after 30 minutes to send his team into the half time break with a narrow lead.

The second half was a far more even affair although it was Montesinos who again missed all the chances, especially substitute Chulo who fluffed three good opportunities.

Having had most of the game and missed a hatful of chances, the inevitable happened - Thader equalised in the 65th minute from the penalty spot after a Montesinos player was adjudged to have handled.

With time running out, Montesinos manager Juanpe threw caution to the wind, changed his format, and played the final 20 minutes with three up front, having taken off a defender. The alteration worked as youth player, Cristian, took his only chance of the game when he kept this cool and lobbed the home keeper with just five minutes left on the clock.

The Montesinos players and their travelling Full Monte Supporters’ Club, celebrated the goal as if it had won them the championship; something that may still happen, especially as the team continue to grind out results even when they are not playing at their best.

This Sunday ( February 26) CD MONTESINOS are at home to Grupo Caliche , kick-off 4.30pm. For further information, go to www.cdmontesinos.com, email thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or call 637 869 602.

Friday, February 24, 2012

48

GUTTER NUTTERS Boxing’s gob-slob yobs have no place in sport

DERECK Chisora and David Haye returned boxing to the gutter at the weekend - and condemned it to be regarded as nothing more than a slob sport...

Snooker has managed to rise above that title with the new slimline players arriving on the scene.

Darts, meanwhile, is not so much about the winners but who has the biggest belly and the most tattoos. As for their wives, partners and friends, they continue to behave like gutter rats, slurping ale and shouting and screaming in the background.

The fact that Haye, and there appears to be irrefutable evidence on camera, used a glass or a bottle in his post-match attack on Chisora is not only

STEVE BOTT reports

criminal. It will spark a reassessment on how boxers and their entourages are regarded by the rest of the world.

It’s all a shame because boxing, while a vicious sport, is the most noble art of self-defence - and it’s highly laudable that youngsters should be taught how to defend themselves and to channel their aggression. I blame the offshoot of "sports" such as cage fighting and the like for the descent into the gutter. They are no better than street brawlers and should be treated as such, locked up and roundly condemned.

There is no place for it on our screens or our sports pages and it is an insult to Muhammad Ali and a host of other greats that boxing is being tarnished in this way.

Chisora started it all with his slap to the face of Vitali Klitschko prior to their WBC heavyweight title

fight in Germany, which Chisora lost on points.

There had been talk of Haye coming out of retirement to fight Chisora, this time in the ring. But the chances of that are zero, or should be, because Haye should be banned for life after he has served his prison sentence for assaulting Chisora, who should also be punished for provoking the debacle.

Most of the time, incidents like Chisora's slap are seen as no more than publicity stunts aimed at generating interest in an upcoming fight. There had been suggestions the pre-match brawl was also staged, but the use of a bottle or glass took it way out of that league and into the criminal and shameful category.

The boxing and other authorities have to make a stand now and a big statement if boxing is ever to recover from this and not descend into the gutter where many people will claim it belongs after last weekend’s disgraceful incident.