The Courier Week 54

Edition 54

www.thecourier.es

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Costa’s most popular newspaper - 100,000 readers and rising!

THERE’S no expat newspaper quite like The Courier. Unquestinably the fastestgrowing weekly on the Costa Blanca, demand is now so high that our mushrooming army of readers are finding it increasingly difficult to get hold of a copy.

In the current economic climate, the word ‘expansion’ is the last thing on the

minds of most business leaders.

But The Courier is going places...and this week there will be 20 per cent MORE copies available in Costa shops, bars and restaurants than ever before.

The extended print run may well be why you are reading this item in comfort, rather than hunting high and low for an outlet with any remaining copies.

The Courier’s unique blend of local, national and international news, plus the top English-language columnists in Spain and a rich vein of humour, has made it a not-to-be-missed Friday read for more than 100,000 locals and expats.

For those who have been finding it more difficult to track down a Courier

than to strike gold, your chances of getting a copy will increase dramatically.

And this weekend 20,000 more readers will clamber aboard the Mediterranean’s most exciting new newspaper. All of which sends a clear message to advertisers.

If you want your business to succeed, The Courier is the place to market it.

DRUGS BUST: 5 BRITS HELD

FIVE British men are in custody in Alicante after police uncovered a drugsmuggling plot in which cocaine was stashed inside the fuel tanks of trucks and cars.

The Vega Baja gang are alleged to have hidden 3.1 kilos of high purity Class A drugs in ‘sophisticated’ hidden compartments fitted to their vehicles.

The drugs, worth an estimated £130,000, were being transported from Spain to the UK. According to the Lancashire Telegraph, the five men in custody are Vaughan Chapman, 44, from Blackburn, Mark Russell, 56, from Newton, Christopher Laycock, from Oldham, Bernard O’Malley, 62, and Thomas Staunton, 42.

The seizure was made by the Spanish National Police, who

claim to have found cars with false bottoms and specially adapted compartments in the petrol tanks.

Six properties were searched as the suspects were arrested and then remanded after a closeddoor appearance before an investigating judge.

The raids uncovered a fake gun and police seized four computers, three mobile phones, two cameras, two GPS devices, a precision scale and numerous tools and instruments believed to be for the manipulation of the drugs.

Sums of 1,200 euros and £1,200 were also recovered.

The detainees are believed to include the ringleader, the truck driver and two men who were making preparations to smuggle the drugs to Britain.

Further arrests in relation to this network of dealers have not been ruled out, sources close to the investigation revealed.

Orihuela murder horror

THE Orihuela hamlet of El Arenal is in shock after a 62year-old woman was beaten to death and her friend seriously injured in an attack in broad daylight on Monday afternoon.

The victims, named only as Carmen and Fina, were both rushed to hospital after the brutal assault by an unknown assailant.

Carmen later died of horrific injuries, while Fina was treated for extensive wounds

POWDER KEG: Police snatched £130,000 worth of cocaine

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Friday, March 2, 2012

A Mirror photographer prepares her new CV...

TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 1003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Affiliations

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003

TIME RUNNING OUT FOR BENEFIT CHEATS

UK Benefit Fraud investigators are claiming ted. In many of these cases, the person has purposefully not more success in their fight against benefit informed the UK authorities of a change in their circumcheats in Spain following the jailing of a stances.

“Anyone in receipt of a UK State Pension or benefit has the Rotherham woman at Sheffield Crown Court.

Debbie Williamson was sentenced to 18 months immediate imprisonment for stealing £42,558.72 from the British taxpayer between 2004 and 2009.

A statement from the British Embassy in Madrid explained: “Ms Williamson had been claiming a number of nonexportable benefits from the UK, including income support.

She denied having any connection with Spain, but investigators established she owned property in Valencia, had made regular cash withdrawals abroad and had her daughter in a local Spanish school.’’

On a wider horizon, the statement added: “Ms. Williamson is just one of many cases that make up the estimated £79 million of benefit fraud committed abroad. Although most people claiming UK benefits abroad do so legally, Spain is one of the countries where most UK benefit fraud is commit-

responsibility to keep the department paying their benefit up to date with any changes that could affect their payment, no matter how small the change seems.’’

More information on UK benefits in general and on which ones can and cannot be received whilst living in Spain can be found on www.direct.gov.uk. If you know of someone committing UK benefit fraud whilst living in Spain, such as claiming a non-exportable benefit, working in Spain while in receipt of UK incapacity benefit, or claiming benefit as a single person but living with a partner, you can help to protect the taxpayers’ money.

For a free and confidential Benefit Fraud Hotline in Spain, call 900 554 440 or click on http://campaigns.dwp.gov.uk/ campaigns/benefit-thieves/english.asp to help close the net on the benefit thieves.

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Freed: Doc who cheated system Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

A DOCTOR who fraudulently claimed more than £100,000 in benefits while secretly owning a Spanish holiday home and receiving an NHS pension has walked free from court.

Dr Barbara Longley, 60, made repeated claims for benefits over six years from Brighton and Hove City Council but failed to declare her threebedroom property in Alicante.

The mother-of-two, from Hove,

Sussex, also hid an NHS pension and a bank account containing several thousand pounds.

This week Longley admitted ten counts of fraudulently claiming housing and council tax benefit and income support totalling £103,645 at Hove Crown Court.

But she walked free from court after being given a suspended sentence.

The court heard she had already Friday Showers High 16° Low 7° Chance of rain 61%

Monday Sunny High 19° Low 4° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Showers High 15° Low 4° Chance of rain 60%

The art of lying in the sun...

DEBBIE WILLIAMSON splashed out on a villa with a swimming pool in Spain and deposited £30,000 into a Spanish bank while pocketing the benefits, it was revealed at her trial.

The 45-year-old from Barnsley, then 'lied and lied and lied' when authorities launched an investigation.

Sheffield Crown Court was told how she had insisted she was not living full time in Spain, prolonging the probe into her circumstances.

During her time here, she falsely claimed £28,558 from income support from the DWP; £11,142 in housing benefit and £2,100 in council tax benefits from Barnsley Council from 2003 to 2008.

paid back more than £70,000 by selling her Spanish property and will have to repay the remaining £31,849 owed to the council and the DWP. Rowan Jenkins, prosecuting, said: ‘Dr Longley made a series of applications for benefits, the first in May 2003.

‘She stated her only income was child benefit and that she held no property. She didn’t declare she had a £6,500 a year pension from the NHS.’’ Saturday Sunny High 21° Low 10° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 21° Lo 11° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Showers High 13° Low 4° Chance of rain 65%

Thursday Sunny High 17° Lo 7° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, March 2, 2012

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HOW TO EAT YOUR CAKE AND HAVE IT

You ask Denise to make a special one for ALL your birthdays

ONE YEAR OLD...Denise’s unique cake for The Courier’s first birthday

DENISE RICHARDSON started making cakes soon after she arrived in Spain in 2007. She has since become a local legend with her delicacies becoming a ‘must have’ at all sorts of celebrations along the Orihuela Costa.

But few of her cakes have been more spectacular – or more mouth-wateringly delicious – than the amazing vanilla sponge she concocted for The Courier’s first birthday. The 16in x 8in cake, with its intricate miniature replicas of our front pages, took Denise two days to make at her delightful cafe-bar, My Piece of Cake.

Which is considerably longer than it took the 120 guests to demolish at our birthday bash! And I can personally vouch for the fact that it tasted GORGEOUS. The cake was also unique. Filled with raspberry and vanilla butter cream, and topped with white fondant, it was decorated with miniature images of our front pages which Steve, who designs all of Denise’s cake toppers, made into fans to look like piles of papers. These were printed onto icing sheets and Denise finished the cake with fans inserted onto wires to give the desired effect.

“It was a truly stunning cake,’’ she says. “Every cake I make is a challenge in its own right. I try to tailor-make a cake to suit the personality of the recipient - and not to make the same cake twice.

“I have had some interesting cakes to make - such as a sculptured pug dog, a creeper shoe, a Chanel handbag or perhaps the hair dryer. Then there’s the holidaymaker who wants a birthday cake reflecting the latest WII game fad... immediately!’’

Denise had a wide experience of different roles in the UK, though over the last 20 years or so was in retail - ending up as area manager for a blue chip furniture company. But her passion is baking and making cakes – and when she came to Spain, she just could not find anything to match the UK. “There is nothing wrong with the cakes supplied here in Spain by local bakers and supermarkets, but they just don’t have that home-baked taste,’’ she says.

After holding a few tea parties for friends, one said he enjoyed them so much that Denise should make cakes professionally. So she did. And My Piece of Cake was born.

Today, the business is thriving with a wide range of cake-making and delivery services available via the company website at www.mypieceofcake.co.uk “When you love what you do and are passionate about people receiving something special, then no one is going to be disappointed,’’ says Denise, whose shop and café are situated at the Rioja Centre near Villamartin (on the first floor adjacent to the bank of Valencia and opposite Gossips bar).

There she supplies cakes, scones, sausage rolls, pastries, sandwiches, Panini and now pancakes and crepes.

“Who was it that said retirement was harder than working?’’ she jokes, adding: “Whether a celebration cake or a nice afternoon sat on a sunny terrace with their drink and a Julian, whose Lagomar tasty treat to hand, it matters to me that so many return time clinic is situated in the El and again.’’

Raso urbanisation, says food The Courier will certainly be returning to Denise for our bought in supermarkets con- second birthday cake. And she is already looking forward to tains a low percentage of the challenge. meat and a larger amount of “It will have to be bigger and better, to reflect the paper’s cereals. growth over the coming year,’’ she says. “ I would be honThis, he says, is not good oured, if asked, to design and make your next one.’’ for the dogs’ digestive sysDenise, we are honoured to make that request. And if tem. youare around for the third, fourth and fifth ...

The Compy food has been analysed by technicians and its manufacturers, Tunilament, issued a statement earlier this week saying an increment of vitamin D has been detected in the meaty food.

Veterinarian reports suggest that this could be the cause of urine problems and excessive thirst in canines.

The manufacturer says issues are occurring only with dogs that are persistently being given high doses of the product. Consumers are being asked to return the product to their local Mercadona store for a full refund.

The issue has sparked discussion on internet forums with many dog owners angry

SICK AS A DOG Mercadona counts cost of rogue food that laid pets low

By ROSIE STINSON MERCADONA is in the middle of a public relations disaster after a dog sickness epidemic was linked to the company’s own-brand pet food.

Angry owners insist their pets were taken ill after eating the ‘Compy’ dog food, which recently switched from cans to cartons.

The issue came to light when dogs across Andalucia, Murcia and Alicante began drinking excessively and were later diagnosed with kidney problems. At least one is believed to have died.

Now it seems the problem has spread further across the Costa Blanca.

John Harris, of Gran Alicante, noticed his dog Lana behaving differently after buying the food three first thing Monday morning and he immediately did weeks ago.

He told The Courier: “All some blood tests. The was OK for about a week, results confirmed that the then she started to drink kidney function was failing more than usual. This built up and she was put on antibiover the weekend; she then otics.” would not eat and was sick A look at the Gran during Sunday night.

Alacante plaza forum alerted “I took her down to our vet John to the fact the sickness

may have been due to Lana’s new diet.

“It appeared that other dogs had had the same symptoms and it had been attributed to the Mercadona pet food,” he said.

The product has now been removed from the shelves of 190 stores across the Costa Blanca and tests have been carried out on the food.

Guardamar veterinary surgeon Julian Huertas Aracil told me: “I have had quite a few dogs in with problems due to eating this food, mainly digestive.

“We always say cheap dog food is a vet’s best friend...it gives us more business!”

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Friday, March 2, 2012

CHALLENGE OF THE COLONIES

NEWS that illegal immigration, coupled with the recession, has reduced parts of London to a slum akin to parts of the Indian subcontinent, made grim viewing in TV news programmes.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of illegal immigrants are sleeping rough in appalling conditions under road and rail bridges. Without sanitation, washing facilities and basic hygiene - a breeding ground for rats and disease and, of course, illness among the "community".

This is the sad outcome of the craziness which went on under Labour, when a blind eye was turned to the huge influx of immigrants, illegal and legal, which has stretched basic services in many British towns and cities to breaking point.

I hope that the politicians and do-gooders now feel ashamed their stupidity has caused, although I somehow doubt it.

The sad fact is that many of these economic migrants who poured into Britain in the good times are the very people who should be in their own countries helping to create the wealth there.

These migrants have the very same mindset as the explorers, adventurers and settlers of the past who risked all to discover and colonise new lands.

These are the very qualities which helped make those newly-discovered lands great. Instead of them living in squalor underneath arches, without jobs and with scant prospect of ever getting one, they would be far better off in their home countries, where their determination and perseverance could be put to far more creative use.

Instead of seeing thousands of them drifting into crime and costing the country a small fortune in benefits and/or prison, the cash would be better used helping them return to their own countries.

However, in their journey to Britain, many destroyed their passports so they could not be deported back. Many now want to return, but are trapped in the UK, because they cannot prove what their homeland was.

parish.

Well, I’ll be chuggered! Beware The motive was clearly money, but no doubt the scourge of charity muggers the vicar convinced himself of the morality of his action by pretending he was doing good for those who would then be able to remain in the UK. Methinks he will no more find a path to eternal life than the priests and nuns who abused children and church heirarchy who knew it was going on but turned a blind eye.

The vicar is to be sentenced later.

THERE'S a new scourge of British high streets - chuggers. They are charity muggers - people who stand in the way of shoppers, or even chase them down the street and turn pavements into obstacle courses.

One council, Burnley - has got so fed up with the problem they are fighting back and are restricting the activities of the charity collectors to two days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Surprisingly, even the charities agree, there are too many of them creating a charity overkill.

And traders would like to see an end to them because they are driving shoppers away.

That was our experience on a recent visit to Benidorm.

We were at a seafront restaurant when a hopeful harmonica player started performing at tables.

Three couples got up and left while others tried to ignore the player and it finally ended in a slanging match between the restaurant owner and the "busker".

It's rather like having coffee in Torrevieja, with a constant parade of sellers pestering you to buy watches, sunglasses, DVDs, belts and everything else they can carry around.

Finally, I would like to thank all those kind people who responded to our appeal for help in finding a way to take our pet dog back to the UK in June.

It seems that despite being told the contrary by check-in staff at Alicante, Monarch Airlines actually do fly pets to Gatwick. So we will be seeing what they can do for us.

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Urgent action and cooperation is needed now between nations to allow repatriation. But don't hold your breath - we know how ridiculous politicians and bureaucrats are.

THE immigration subject takes me conveniently on to another scandal which hit the headlines - that of a UK CoE vicar who illegally married hundreds of illegal immigrants so they could remain in the UK. This disgrace to the cloth was responsible for more than 200 sham weddings which netted him a profit of £30,000.

The scam involved EU nationals offering themselves to marry non-EU immigrants so they could legally stay in the UK. In some cases the EU passport holders were specially flown into Britain to act as a bride or bridegroom for the bogus ceremony.

The racket was finally unearthed when it was questioned why there were suddenly so many more marriages in the

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Our man in … Iceland supermarket A NEW Channel 4 reality show following staff from British consulates in Spain as they help Brits in peril hit TV screens this week.

And the second episode in the three-part Our Man In…series features Brits on the Costa Blanca and includes scenes in Iceland in Torrevieja.

Our Man in … The Costas takes a fly-onthe-wall look at the work of the British Consulate in Alicante, where the eight-strong consular team provides assistance to an estimated 330,000 British residents, plus 3.5 million British holidaymakers who visit the area every year.

The programme shows the sometimes dramatic- and often sad - work of the staff as they liaise with Spanish police to manage an invasion of tartan-clad football fans for a Spain v Scotland game in Alicante, and deal with a fatal road traffic accident in Benidorm.

But it’s not all high drama. A visit to Iceland in Torrevieja to be grilled by shoppers on the challenges of daily life in Spain is about as

far as you can get from the glamorous, Panama hat evoking image of the programme’s title.

The series, which launched Wednesday with Our Man in … Ibiza, has been widely acclaimed in the UK. The Mail on Sunday described it as “insightful… light hearted and tragic by turns”.

Paul Rodwell, Alicante Consul, welcomed the opportunity to showcase the work of the consulate, saying he hoped it would show what the consulate can do and help get the message across that there is a lot people can do to help themselves.

He stressed a lot of good information can be found on the ukinspain website, which could save people from “the confusing and incorrect advice that circulates on the expat rumour mill”.

Our Man in … The Costas can be seen on Channel 4 at 23.00 Spanish time on March 8.

The final programme in the series, featuring Tenerife and Barcelona, airs on March 15.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Torry swimmers are a splash hit

IN THE MEDALS: Piroska Rideg, Anton Bergerus and Zoe Connolly TORREVIEJA swimmers grabbed four medals at the prestigious Pascual Roman Memorial Trophy competition in Elche last week.

The 17 members of the Torrevieja team worked hard in all events and there were new personal bests for Samira Lucusni, Nadia Cheetham, Paula Garcia, Jonathan Izquierdo, Kasper Goliszek and Bastian Martinez.

New Torrevieja swimmers Alexandra Amat and Victoria Pigneur worked hard in the 50m and 100m breaststroke, backstroke and freestyle races, setting themselves good times on which to base their future targets .

Some 24 clubs and 553 swimmers took part in backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, freestyle, medleys and relay events. Piroska Rideg won the first of Torrevieja’s four medals, achieving a good time of 1:24:63 in the 12 years girls 100m Butterfly. In the same morning session, Zoe Connolly also hit the medal trail with a time of 1:28:94 in

the 11 years girls 100m Backstroke, which qualifies her for the national Xirivella trophy competition in July.

Zoe went on to win a bronze in her 100m Breaststroke event and achieve another national qualifying time of 1:40:34 – a personal best. A few minutes later Anton Bergerus took bronze in the 16 years male 100m Breaststroke event with a time of 1:21:00.

The whole team were supported by coaches Juanma and Paco and a host of loud and enthusiastic parents.

The Torrevieja swimming club is always looking for new members. The club meets each evening, in three sessions, Monday to Friday between 5.30pm and 9pm. Training is in the 50m pool at the Palacio de Deportes Infanta Cristina, Torrevieja. For more information, please contact Eddie Cagigao on 637869602 or by e-mail at ecagigao@hotmail.com or info@clubnataciontorrevieja .com

Kenny’s hotel haunt

The Torrevieja Costa Lions Club raised more than €330 for local disabled and under-privileged children at last weekend’s This Is Spain Exhibition. The prize basket of goodies was won by Norman Scotting from Dona Pepa, who is pictured with his wife receiving the hamper from Lions vice-president Janette Bennett

VASTLY experienced clairvoyant and astrologer Kenny Corris takes centre stage at Hotel El Corazon Pueblo Lucero/Quesada on Thursday, March 15 in aid of Paul Cunningham Nurses.

His two-hour show starts at 7.30pm, with a short break at 8.30pm, after which the show will continue until approximately 10.00pm.

Tickets are just €10. Call 966 713 503 or 639 818 526 or email sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk to book your seats.

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Friday, March 2, 2012

JACKIE Whyte’s tribute to Karen Carpenter comes to the Costa Blanca with an eight-show tour in March.

Jackie has the voice and style of the Carpenters’ singer who died so tragically at a young age, and she will take the audience on a journey through Karen’s bestloved songs of the 70s.

Jackie, who has been a singing sensation in Ireland for many years, says: “Karen had one of the most clear

Singer evokes spirit of Karen Carpenter voices ever in music and she was simply a legend. I hope to illustrate some of her style as I perform some of her incredible songs.”

The show will also feature a performance by the Abba Girls – made up of Jackie

and Jukebox Legends’ Fiona McLean. The pair will be singing all the Abba songs you know and love.

Peter Day will also be performing at the shows, with a selection of great songs from the past.

The tour starts on March 19 at the Lounge Bar, Torrevieja (966 922 134), then visits The Club, Quesada, March 21 (966 717 028); Las Palmeras, Crevillente, March 22 (965400188); Casa Ventura,

HEAP OF HELP FOR MURCIA’S HELPERS Jackie Whyte

Palms Sunday PALMS Equestrian’s dres-

sage show last Sunday was the first in a league of events, with tests for the beginner to advanced rider, aged from four years old to 60 years young.

Competitors looked smart in their show attire, although the rising temperature had them feeling the heat of both competition and sun. This Sunday sees the showjumping and gymkhana games event.

Everyone is welcome to join the fun at Palms, which is just off the Dolores to Catral road (CV 905). Food and drink is available all day.

For more information call 636 311 751 or email palmsequestrian@live.co.uk

AS part of HELP Murcia Mar Menor´s 10th anniversary celebrations, a highly successful dinner dance was enjoyed by more than 100 members and friends of the organisation.

The Torrevieja Show Group present €1,000 to Norah Bond of Help At Home Costa Blanca. The money was raised from their recent Paella and Chips shows at La Rustika restaurant. They will be raising more funds for HAH CB at their next event, That Sinking Feeling, on May 15 and 16. Tickets €9 including buffet and drink.

Call Derek 966 261 627 or Jenny 966 181 951.

Cool night THE Royal British Legion are holding an Evening with a really cool band on March 9 at Casa Ventura, San Luis, Local five-piece combo Crushed Ice will perform from 9pm. Entry is €3, with all proceeds going to the Royal British Legion Poppy Appeal.

Crushed Ice play rock and pop from the 60s, 70s and 80s, with Keith Parsons, Eric Tuite and John Wiggan on guitar, Chas Randal vocals and Ray Prentice, drums.

Details on 966 712 987.

The event, at the Roblemar Restaurante in Los Alcazares, was generously sponsored by HELP’s Honorary Patron, Lady Elisabeth Hebdige.

Before the meal, flowers were presented to all presidents past and present.

Music that got people dancing was provided by Smithy and a wonderful Spanish singer, Suzanne, who entertained guests with dramatic performances of Spanish and English songs.

A total of €685 was raised on the raffle, with the majority of the prizes donated by Lady Hebdige.

The raffle for an electric reclining chair, supplied by Paymar of Los Belones, raised €317 and was won by ur er 50, on yo Eileen Cobb of Mar Menor IF you are ov in jo to e ld lik Golf Resort. own and wou asimilar situ A new wheelchair worth people in a a to g on lf al €230 was donated by a few tion get yourse s the 50 -plu of the residents of La Manga lunch with g in w llo e fo Club.

Solos on th 5 for 1.30).

HELP thanked the staff at dates (all 12.4 , os na Pu Es Roblemar, MC Bernard Ash Sat March 3, . ja a, Torrevie for his great job, Mick Av de Manch a in ar M , 17 Donnelly as official photograSat March Fire Station, pher and sponsor Lady Bar, near the . ur fo re ar dC Hebdige.

ATV Centre an 31, Uncle The evening was organSat March opposite ised by Tricia Brister, Janice Ottos, rreta 2.

Clarke, Maggie Milne and Mercadona, To los group So s lu -p 50 e Joan Mitchell. It was one of Th bs fees or su many events planned by charges no e th t or pp su the fundraising team to celbut it does d an -military ebrate the 10th anniverhomeless ex sary of HELP. H4Hs. For more information about the work of HELP, visit the website at www.helpmurciamarmenor.org.

Lunches for 50+ solos

DAVID'S Coachtrips SL sponsored the Costa Blanca and Mar Menor branches of Help At Home and raised €1,142 from a raffle to win an all-inclusive three-day trip to Granada, with €100 spending money thrown in.

San Luis, March 23, (966 789 247); AREA, Filton Centre, Los Balcones, March 26 (966 799 735); La Marina Sport Complex, March 27, (966 796 389); Rocajuna, March 19, Punta Prima, (965 997 260); Santa Pola Life Resort, Gran Alacant, March 20, (966 619 010).

Tickets can also be booked online at www.jukeboxpromotions.co.uk. Ticket info line is 695 135 134. Cost for most venues is €7.50.

Rocking good show for Adhoc theatre ROCK with Adhoc, a fundraising event for the popular theatre group, is to be held at Los Rosales restaurant on the Lemon Tree Road on March 19.

Some great musicians are performing for free to help raise money for Adhoc, and members of the theatre group will be making appearances as characters from one of their hit shows, Allo, Allo.

Andy Jones is compere – and vocalist – for the night and will be joined by Nick Barker and Alan Warden, both very talented guitarists who will perform their Status Quo tribute.

Philadelphia Freedom – aka Ronnie Taylor and Nick Barker will rock the house with Elton John classics.

Tickets for Rock with Adhoc can be bought at The Postroom, Benijofar; Quesada Card and Gift Shop; Kennedys Supermarket, Los Montesinos; Cards and More, urb La Marina; Los Rosales Restaurant, Lemontree Road; or call 677 600 809.

Adhoc’s productions have raised thousands of euros for local charities.

Their next hilarious comedy Sex Please We’re Willing will be performed on April 19, 20 and 21 at La Escuela de Musica in Los Montesinos. Tickets (€5) from The Postroom in Benijofar and at the Rock With Adhoc show.

Proceeds to Adismon.

The young faces of Help: Jodie and Katie Hall. Inset: Smithy entertains

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Friday, March 2, 2012

A buddy for Buddy (who will be 0 next Tuesday)

JAKE: A healthy 8lb 10oz

A LITTLE over 11 weeks ago, my youngest grandchild was fighting for his life. Born nearly three months early, he spent nearly two months in an incubator.

You’ve heard more than enough about the little fella in the intervening period...but I can tell you he’s now a relative giant at 6lb 9oz.

He is also approaching his scheduled birth date of March 6 (next Tuesday) - and as the family celebrate his deliverance, the same gratitude is mirrored by Courier reader Dorothy of Los Dolses, whose husband suffered a horrible fall just a few weeks ago.

Dorothy wrote to me last week with a photo of her new grandson, Jake (that’s him on the left), saying: “Thank you for

printing my letter about the Good Samaritans helping my husband after his accident - although the banner headlines were a bit of a shock!

“I managed to fly back to Manchester for four days last week (minus hubby, who is not allowed to fly yet) as our latest grandson made his welcome appearance on February 9 weighing a healthy 8lb 10oz.

“I know you have recently had a new arrival, albeit unexpectedly early, but hope all is well now. I am attaching a photo of young Jake Eden Smith taken when he was a few hours old.’’

Congratulations, Dorothy. With your husband on his way back to full fitness, it looks like there are happy days ahead for both of us.

BUDDY: He’s 6lb 9oz - but he’s not officially born yet!

SAINTS AND WINNERS Why does no-one get into a Paddy about St David, too?

I’VE been through such an emotional few days that I almost forgot it was St David’s Day yesterday.

And so, it seems, did the entire Costa Blanca. Because I could not find an event celebrating the Welsh patron saint’s big day ANYWHERE. This, in a week when every Taff with the tiniest degree of pride should be feeling nine feet tall.

First, mighty Wales see off the brave but outclassed English on their own patch in the Six Nations rugby at Twickenham.

(Sorry, England fans, it was NOT a try.

You lost. Check the record books any time over the next few hundred years and the score will still read England 12 Wales 19.

And that was the worst we’ve played for ages!)

Twenty-four hours later, football underlings Cardiff City brought the Liverpool juggernaut to a standstill in the Minnows v Giants Carling Cup Final. I know they lost on penalties after a 2-2 draw, but find me a neutral whose heart didn’t go out to them.

And to crown it all, Welsh warbler Charlotte Church goes and empties Rupert Murdoch’s pockets to the tune of £600,000.

TRIPLE TOPS: wales celebrate their Triple Crown success at Twickenham last weekend

In Charlotte’s case, it seems everyone who is anyone is getting in on the hacked.

All I can say is that if that’s the sort of money up for grabs, then they can listen in to my private calls any time of the day or night!

Anyway, I reckon the Wales/Cardiff/Church success is a Triple Crown in anyone’s book - regardless of the

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fact that Sam Warburton’s dazzling dragons already have that particular trophy.

But this article was not meant to be about rugby, or football, or Churches of various remunerations.

It was meant to underline the wide difference in the way we expats celebrate our four national saints’ days.

With the exception of St Patrick – who the Americans (who else) have managed to build into an excuse for a mega knees-up – no one seems to fly the flag outside their homeland. Methinks also that half of America’s so-called Irish community think a Shamrock is an imitation diamond.

Anyway, daffodils were conspicuously absent in my neighbourhood of Guardamar yesterday (Thursday). As for events to mark the Day of the Dragon, I couldn’t find one.

The consolation is knowing that winter is over...in my mind, anyway. In the UK, I always regarded March 1 as the beginning of spring - but the whole concept changes when you live in a climate with no winter!

There was no St David’s Day party for me last night...and by George, I suspect it’s going to be much the same when England’s saint-hearted get their chance to paint the town white on April 23.

As for Scotland, do they actually celebrate St Andrew’s Day?

WANT TO COMMENT? Email Grumpy Old Gran at donna@thecourier.es

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Friday, March 2, 2012

Friday, March 2, 2012

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Friday, March 2, 2012

A KITCHEN SINK DRAMA Mine’s a ginger nut... all these Daves really take the biscuit

I HAD to get a man in to fix something minor that had gone wrong in my kitchen.

That was two months ago. And he's still here.

'Tell me something . . . ' I said to him the other day.

'The largest thing a blue whale can swallow is a grapefruit,' he said.

'Whaaat?' I queried.

'You asked me to tell you something,' he said. 'So I've just told you something.'

I scratched my head. 'But you never let me finish. I was about to ask how come this job in my kitchen is taking so long?'

'Because I'm a perfectionist,' he said reaching out for the seventh mug of tea I'd made him since his arrival at my house at 6.30am.

'If I'm not satisfied with my work,' he explained, 'I dismantle the job and start again.'

'But I only employed you to change the washer on my tap,' I pointed out. 'I'm no plumber but surely that's a simple job.'

'Then how come you couldn't do it?' asked the man, dipping his hand into my biscuit tin for his 14th ginger nut of the day.

'Because . . . because . . . hell, because I don't know where Mrs S keeps the water stop tap. Go on! Laugh at my ignorance!'

The man sighed, put down his tea and biscuit -- and burst into laughter.

'It's not that funny!' I snapped (and not gingerly). And then I realised that the guy wasn't guffawing. He was weeping.

'You were honest with me about your total inability to tackle DIY,' he sobbed. 'So I shall be honest with you about why I turn up at your house every day at sunrise and don't leave until midnight.'

'Well, I WAS wondering,' I admitted. 'After all, you've been coming here since New Year's Eve.' 'That was the night my wife walked out,' the man sighed.

'Now I can find comfort only by being in your house with you and Mrs S. What a delightful, warm lady she is.'

'Huh?' I said. 'My Mrs S? Delightful? Warm? Wow, you certainly know how to drag out hidden attributes in women.'

'It's a debatable point,' the man said. 'I definitely didn't bring out the best in MY missus. Just the opposite. She went off me.

'She packed her portmanteau and left. I begged her to stay. I said: "Don't go, chuck." But would she listen?'

I pondered what the man had said and there followed an uneasy silence in my kitchen, punctuated only by the sound of a dripping tap.

Eventually I took a deep breath and blurted out: 'You married a woman named Chuck? How strange.'

I poured the guy another mug of tea (his last one had gone cold) and offered him another ginger nut (the previous one had gone soggy from his cascading tears and too many dunkings.)

I patted the man on the shoulder. 'Would it help to talk about it?'

He looked at me. 'I thought I just had.'

'No, I meant what were the circumstances? Was there another bloke involved? Did she perhaps run off with the milkman?'

'No. We didn't have a m i l k m a n .

We got our milk from the supermarket.'

'So do we,' I said. 'Do you prefer skimmed, semi-skimmed or full fat?'

The guy in my kitchen dabbed at his eyes. 'Don't you think we're getting off the point here? I was talking about my Gladys.'

There followed another uneasy silence apart from the leaky faucet.

I eventually took another deep breath and blurted out: 'So who's Gladys?'

'Gladys is my wife! Are you not listening?'

I quickly held out another ginger nut to calm him down.

'Look,' I said. 'I think we've known each other long enough for us to be on firstname terms. I'm Dave.'

'And I'm Dave, too,' said the guy.

I shook my head. 'Sorry, you can't be Dave Two. Dave the barman is Dave Two. I'm Dave One. You'll have to be Dave Three.'

'Whatever,' said Dave Three who was beginning to look confused.

'So who did your wife run off with?' I asked, certain in the knowledge that further discussion of his plight would prove cathartic and help alleviate his pain.

Dave Three shook his head. 'I don't want to explore this any further.

It would prove neither cathartic nor alleviate my pain.'

'You can trust me. I'm a doctor,' I lied. 'So who was the cad and bounder who stole your beloved's heart?'

Dave Three sighed.

'You're not going to believe this but . . . well, I think we'll have to call him Dave Four.'

'Blimey,' I muttered. 'This is all getting a touch surreal.'

'Anyway,' said Dave Three. 'You probably know the swine who ran off with my wife. He stacks the milk refrigerator at the local supermarket.'

'Really?' I said. 'Which milk fridge? Skimmed, semiskimmed or full-fat?'

'We seem to be going round in circles here,' Dave Three sighed.

'You're right,' I said. 'But I think I do know the feller who ran off with your wife. Short bloke, red hair?'

'Aye, that's the short red-headed swine,' snarled Dave Three, biting hard on another biscuit.

'But because there are so many Daves working at the supermarket he's known as Ginger Nut.' Anyway, another day had nearly disappeared. I hung around until midnight, saw Dave Three off the premises and went to bed.

I recounted Dave Three's plight to Mrs S who clucked in sympathy.

'Such a nice guy,' she sighed. 'But there's one thing I don't get in all this.'

'What's that?' I yawned.

'Who's Chuck?'

'God knows,' I said. 'Anyway, let's have a nice cup of tea.

'It'll have to be black though. We've run out of milk.'

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Friday, March 2, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Lesson 9: GENERAL WORDS TODAY we are going to learn some regularly-used common words, then next week we’ll begin with verbs, remember where the stress is in the word and how to pronounce the letters. I will include how to pronounce the slightly trickier ones in brackets after the word.

So, for this week, let´s learn general words, starting with colours: BLACK – NEGRO ; WHITE – BLANCO ; RED – ROJO (RO HO, the H is like the ´ch´ in loch); BLUE – AZUL (a THOOOL) ; ORANGE – NARANJA ; GREEN – VERDE (this is a particularly difficult one to pronounce for native Brits because of the VER sound, which is like a soft BIR as in Birch and of course the DE is pronounced DAY) ; YELLOW – AMARILLO (ama REE yo) ; GREY – GRIS (grEEse, like geese but with an r) BROWN - MARRON. Those are the main colours to start with - as you improve your Spanish you can add more. So next time you see something white, you know it´s also blanco/a.

Adjectives are words to describe nouns In Spanish the adjective nearly always follows the noun, unlike English where it is the other way round. For example A brown car becomes A car brown (un coche marron) We know that nouns are masculine or feminine and the adjective also takes on the gender of the noun. For example, a white house becomes una casa blanca whereas a white dog would be un perro blanco An ´S´ is also required when the noun is plural;

example, some white houses = unas casas blancas If the adjective in its singular form ends in a stressed vowel i.e. one with an accent, or a consonant, we add "-es" to form the plural.

Example: Marron – marrones = brown – brown You can see some adjectives do not change with the gender of the noun, only those ending in ´o´ or ´a´ will change. For example, una casa verde and un perro verde - not that there are too many green dogs out there, but hopefully you get the point.

If the adjective ends in "-z" the plural form ends in

"-ces". Example: Feliz – felices = happy – happy; Pez – Peces = fish - fishes Now let´s learn some words so that when we have the verbs, starting next week, we can make some sentences.

Some of these words you will no doubt already be familiar with, whether from this column or from your own experiences. Feel free to add to this list daily with new words. I will be using ‘el’ and ‘la’ to ensure you are getting used to the genders, and of course you know they mean ´the´.

Rooms, buildings and places La cocina – the kitchen, el dormitorio – the bedroom, el salón – the living room, el comedor – the dining room, el cuarto de baño – the bathroom, la biblioteca – the library, las tiendas – the shops, el supermercado – the supermarket, la plaza (del pueblo) - the town square, En el centro – In town, la playa – the beach.

General words El coche – the car, la casa – the house, el perro – the dog, el gato – the cat, la mesa – the table, la silla – the chair, el tenedor – the fork, el cuchillo – the knife, la cuchara – the spoon, el teléfono – the telephone, el plato – the plate, la cama – the bed Food and drink La zanahoria – the carrot, la coliflor – the cauliflower, el tomate – the tomato, el champiñon – the mushroom, el carne – the meat, el cerdo – pork (pig), el vacuno – beef, la ternera – veal, el pollo – chicken, el agua – the water, el café – the coffee, el vino – the wine, la cerveza – the lager, la manzana – the apple, la naranja – the orange, el limón – the lemon, las uvas, the grapes, el plátano – the banana.

If you can refer to the above list regularly, you will find yourself remembering the words. A trick I mentioned in a previous lesson is to write the words on stickers and place them strategically around your home - but with care!

There is no trick to learning Spanish, it is a long road, but an enjoyable one. As you find yourself understanding and being understood the feeling of achievement is tangible.

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Friday, March 2, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

LABOUR OF LOVE

My team of helpers are really special.

And they don’t get paid a cent...

ON some of my consultations I have an assistant with me. Sometimes I need a helping hand and I am blessed to have the most dedicated helpers whenever I need them.

They are my pack. Billy and Lola, the German Shepherds, Pickle the Border Collie and finally Mr Pedro and Mr Sanchez, my little Spanish guys!

My main helper is Billy. He accompanies me to many cases, where the dog in question is showing signs of aggression or fear of other dogs. He knows how to make another dog comfortable around him and there have been many dogs he has helped to live a balanced and peaceful life. He knows when to look away from another dog, when to approach and when to ignore.

Lola, my female German Shepherd is ʻthe matronʼ. If ever there was a dog who yearned to have puppies and raise them in perfect order, it is Lola. She never did get her chance to be a Mother. When we rescued her from a centre in Kent, she had already been spayed.

But the work she has done in Spain with abandoned puppies is outstanding.

When we were in Almeria last year fostering puppies, Lola was worth her weight in gold. Sometimes we were looking after large numbers of puppies who had been dumped and left for dead. They were very young and desperately needed a ʻMother figureʼ - and there was Lola time and time again. No amount is too much for her to handle. She commands instant respect and gets it straight away.

If a dog or puppy gets out of line, one look from Lola is enough to stop any behaviour in itʼs tracks.

She is simply a master at what she does. Right now, though, as I write this, she is ʻaway with the fairiesʼ, sleeping next to me with a belly full of food. She is wise. She is getting all of her rest now, as she will soon be back in Spain helping more unfortunate puppies rejected and dumped by humans.

Pickle, my Border Collie, rolls his eyes to the ceiling each time he sees another dog or puppy come to stay with us for rehabilitation or just until they find a new home.

He looks at me as if to say, “Not another one, Dad”. The newcomers have to work hard to get any attention from Pickle. His strength is teaching another dog respect and boundaries.

Mr Pedro could fit in the palm of your hands, but small in size as he is, his character is gigantic. He is fearless and if he lived in the wild I have visions of him sitting on the back of a lion and riding happily through the jungle, as he instructs his new best friend where to turn left and where to turn right!

He makes newcomers work for his friendship and once that happens they have a friend for life. When they first arrive, he acts as if he couldnʼt care less and when they leave, his eyes are full of disappointment.

Mr Sanchez is the latest member of our pack. We rescued him in Spain last year, He is also the youngest at only ten months old, but he became my youngest ever assistant a few weeks ago, as he joined me for a consultation where a dog was showing signs of aggression towards his own kind and humans.

I knew Mr Sanchez was ready for his opportunity but he left me totally amazed at how well he did. He met the client’s dog in their garden and when the dog started to growl at him, he simply ignored him and walked away.

You could see Sanchezʼs brain at work as he figured out his next move. The owner had only ever seen her dog play with one dog in six years and she was almost in tears as Sanchez walked towards her dog and raised his two little front legs into the air and as they landed on the grass he performed a wonderful little play bow. The other dog gave a puzzled look and with that he accepted the invitation of play, as they both ran around the garden. That moment was pure canine magic.

My helpers never complain of long working hours and never demand a pay rise. All they ask is for is my love, which I am honoured to give.

Lola plays the role of Mother to a Spanish puppy. It had been dumped near some bins

Billy takes a Spanish Podenco who had a fear of other dogs and anything that moved, for a walk

Do you need to transport your pet between Spain and the UK? Peter Singh provides a relaxing and peaceful mode of travelling with his pet transport service. Check it out by visiting www.europeanpettransport.com

Friday, March 2, 2012

LÍNEA DIRECTA, THE BEST CAR INSURANCE FOR EXPATRIATES Línea Directa offers its 70,000 customers residing in Spain the most complete car insurance on the market, with services available entirely in English, which they can take advantage of by making just one phone call at a time which is convenient for them. Here are just a few of the services available offering Expatriates exclusive benefits: • LEGAL ASSISTANCE. This service offers the company’s customers advice on Spanish legislation in matters of housing, consumption, family and labour law or driving.

• TRAVEL ASSISTANCE. If the Línea Directa customer is a victim of theft outside Spain, the company will provide accommodation in a hotel of up to four stars.

• HOME REPAIRS. In addition to repairing windscreens at the customer’s home, Línea Directa also offers to collect and deliver the car to one of its network repairers, and acts as an intermediary in any matter relating to the repair process.

• FINE MANAGEMENT. This service offers the customers advice on traffic fines in their own language, as well as notifying them on the official state bulletins, a benefit specially designed for expatriates.

And now home insurance too Línea Directa offers an exclusive Premium policy designed for foreign residents in Spain, which apart from offering the best cover on the market, also offers customer service in English.

For more information: 902 123 104

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Friday, March 2, 2012

Beauty and the best WE women don´t expect men to really understand us - and I believe we don´t actually WANT them to.

For example, few blokes understand our need to hit the sales or to watch the soaps/X-Factor/Strictly Come Dancing - and even fewer understand our need to spend time on our hair and make-up.

OK, so more and more men are beginning to groom; they know the value of gel and wax, though mousse is still something they eat for dessert!

Some men do take a pride in their appearance and are being led by the likes of Brad Pitt and George Clooney in dressing nicely and using creams. But to them, hair dye is something you use to get rid of grey, not to change the colour.

However, us girls know the value of a good colour and cut: our hair can define our personality, both in colour and style, and the right cut can make us feel a million euros. Our make-up box is also destined to always be a mystery to men, a place where a woman can go and emerge after a short time looking preened and

PRIDE GUYS: Pitt and Clooney flawless. So why do we do it, why do so many of us slap on the war paint even when we´re not even going to leave the house? For me, it comes down to feeling good about myself. I like to put on makeup, even if it´s just some eyeliner and mascara. I like to look good for ME and I like to look good for whomever I´m with, be it my son or friends. I also like to feel good when I am going out on a date.

For me, make- up is a way of expressing who I am, the same way as dyeing my hair and wearing stylish clothes. Make-up emphasises my assets and although I don´t think I´m hideous without it, certainly as I get older I feel the need more and more to put on the old greasepaint.

I got into trouble on an internet site a while ago. A friend put a photo of herself

and her boyfriend on the site and I wrote underneath, ´looking good, just need a bit of make-up´ Her boyfriend jumped to her defence, saying she didn´t need any. I wasn´t writing it to make out that with her face bare she´s ugly - she´s not, but that with make-up you can emphasise your good points, in the same way that this same woman dyes her hair.

This past year alone my hair has been light brown, light blonde, platinum blonde and black and red, my current colour! It is just another string to my bow in changing my appearance and making the most of what I have.

I am lucky enough to be blessed with good hair that can just about stand the abuse I´ve given it, and I will continue to dye my hair, wear make-up and nice clothes and feel good about myself as long as I physically and mentally can.

There is no narcissism in wanting to make the most of your assets. It’s just a normal part of being a human being, and I will bring my son up to appreciate the inner and outer natural beauty of a woman as well as the less natural, yet just as important, attractiveness.

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Friday, March 2, 2012

The flawed Lords is beyond a joke CAN you tell me exactly what the details are behind the plans by the UK Government to change the National Health Service?

I’m pretty bemused by it all, but I’m also entertained by the way that the House of Lords is being used over and over again to try to change the bill.

Whether or not this is merited I don’t really know but what I do know is that the second chamber of the UK Parliament is an absolute joke. This is all still happening in the year 2012 despite meaningless pledges of change from the political parties, but nobody has had the guts to say enough is enough.

Surely it must be time for the House of Lords to become converted to a democratically elected senate with the British people casting votes? If nothing else, it would be a great way of getting rid of liars like Jeffrey Archer, as well as wizened old farts who are only there because of political patronage.

It’s an utter disgrace to democracy, so why do people put up with it?

The biggest hypocrites are the Liberal Democrats who’ve been screaming for Lords reforms for years, but now they are using the second chamber for their purposes to try to wreck the NHS bill.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the UK the only Western country to permit such undemocratic nonsense to continue?

Time for a change, me reckons, and if the Lib Dem boss and deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, is so worried about the NHS reforms, then why doesn’t he have the guts to put his

BOOZER: Boris Yeltsin

LIAR: Jeffrey Archer

neck on the line over them rather than using his dementiaridden puppets in the Lords to do his dirty work for him?

You can’t beat a good old bar-room brawl, and there was a cracker in the House of Commons last week, leading to Labour MP Eric Joyce being led away after allegedly headbutting Tory MP Stuart Andrew. Apparently four other MPs of differing political persuasions felt Mr.Joyce’s alcohol fuelled anger, all witnessed by Canada’s equivalent to the midget Speaker, John Bercow.

Mr. Joyce has a lot of explaining to do, and he’s lost the Labour whip, which is probably the least of his worries. But clearly the pressure is getting too much for the UK’s hardworking MPs. Only last autumn, backbencher Dr. Sarah Wollaston told a Tory meeting that most MPs get so drunk that they actually don’t know what they are voting for in the Commons. I presume that’s assuming they make it to vote in the first place!

It got me thinking that over my close to 50 years of following politics, there have been very few cases where the demon drink has affected those in power, well at least in public gaze. The most famous instances were back in the nineties when the Russian President, Boris Yeltsin, seemed to be constantly sozzled on the old vodka, including the wonderful moment when he seized the conductor’s baton and proceeded to conduct an orchestra in Berlin in 1994.

A year later, on a visit to Bill Clinton in the White House, Yeltsin was found walking around the streets of Washington dressed only in his underwear, and trying to order a pizza!

British politicians have been remarkably clever and adept at keeping their boozy sessions right out of the public eye, and this was explained to me by an MP I knew for many

HEADCASE: Eric Joyce

years. He told me that, contrary to what many people might believe or see on the television, the majority of members from all parties actually get on very well with each other, despite political differences.

They would have a good session knocking back the beers or something stronger, but they knew where not to cross the line, and certainly to keep things out of the media.

It’s all a bit different these days with the internet and twittering reporting any misdemeanours, as well as more women MPs, FALL GUY: George who have better things to Brown (left) do than propping up a bar late night as they wait for a crucial vote.

I remember just one major contemporary British figure who liked his sauce, and that was the colourful George Brown, who back in the sixties would hit the bottle to give him that extra bit of Dutch courage to tell his Prime Minister, Harold Wilson, what he really thought of him.

In the seventies, as a peer, Lord Brown was famously photographed falling on the steps of his London apartment after an especially taxing evening at a House of Lords bar.

So, what’s new then? Especially if you are not elected!

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Friday, March 2, 2012

editor@thecourier.es THE COSTA BLANCA’S BRIGHTEST LETTERS PAGES

If you care about Care...

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT - TO ALL ORIHUELA COSTA RESIDENTS The Director of Social Services has agreed to meet you and give a talk regarding your Healthcare, Welfare & Nursing / Care Home Provision on March 6 at 10am. It will take place at The Civic Centre (behind BurgerKing & Rocky’s Arena off the Lidl Roundabout).

Tell your neighbours and friends to attend the most important meeting ever taken place here on the coast. All ages and nationalities welcome.

A petition is circulating for you to sign which will be handed to the Director on the day.

Currently, there are no nursing/care homes with provision for hospice care for retired people in Orihuela Costa provided by the Social Services Orihuela.

A signature campaign is currently being carried out in order to prepare a petition for our social welfare. Please sign it, we care for you.

For the approximately 33,000 citizens living in Orihuela Costa, there is no provision of a care/nursing home.

Although on the coast there are more older people in the district of Orihuela due to the majority of these people moving to Spain during their retirement, to live their dream!

Outside of Orihuela Costa, there are few such facilities, so the question is, what to do with this age group? Do they remain in Spain or return to their homeland? These are people who have lived here for many years of their life, some for decades.

They feel integrated, they hardly have any ‘old country roots’ and these people are concerned who will take care of them when they do need help.

To get an overview of the situation on the Orihuela Costa, Manfred Schwarting, leader of the German Stammtisch asked the Councillor of Social Affairs Mr Emilio Zaplana, (an official request) the questions below.

Excerpt... a) Are there any retired people's homes in Orihuela Costa? b) Who is the operator / partner? Are these for elderly people? c) What care exists for elderly people? d) Are there well-patient care services and places in Orihuela Costa? e) What measures have been or will be taken to remedy the current deficit in the elderly care / emergency care?

To date, six months later, none of these questions has been answered?

NORAH BOND President - Help At Home Costa Blanca

DAYS OF WHINE AND POSES

BOB HOULISTON’S resignation as Councillor for the Coast is no surprise to those examining his conspiracy claims closely.

Bob Houliston: Photo opportunities

Pedro Mancebo: Bob Houliston blames him

He has been purposely misleading the people of Orihuela Costa to excuse his own lack of ability and achievement. He is yet again blaming Pedro Mancebo to cover his inability to do the job he coveted so much.

Bob has cried for weeks now about his lack of budget to run the Coast. He whiningly claimed to have received only €2 million out of the €62 million budget that Orihuela has at its disposal for running the municipality.

This year €25 million will be paid out in staff salaries, leaving €37 million to cover all the services in the whole municipality.

A matter of emphasis...

DEAR Jeanette Erath, I look forward to every Friday when I can collect The Courier and read your "Say It In Spanish" column.

Last week for homework, I had to underline the syllable or letter which is stressed in the following words: Mujer, hombre etc. The February 24 issue does not give the answers, but the words seem just to be reprinted from last week. I expected the syllable to be underlined. Am I missing something?

JOYCE BOSISTO Jeanette replies: Thank you Joyce for spotting our deliberate mistake in last week’s Say it in Spanish column! The syllables to be stressed should have been underlined, so here for you and everyone else are the words with the stressed syllables indicated.

HOMBRE CHICO CHICA MAÑANA MUJER MIÉRCOLES TORREVIEJA MARINA VERANO CERVEZA VINO TRADUCCAFÉ AEROPUERTO BOCADILLO CIÓN

We still need you, Bob! A NEW Facebook page has been set up entitled: “Bob Houliston please, please do not sink the Coalition in Orihuela group.”

Set up by Dee James, Sarah Hill and Nick Moore on Sunday evening February 26, in less than 12 hours it had 199 members!

The aim of the site is to encourage Of this €37 million, Orihuela Costa will receive over €12 million, not €2 million as he has moaned to anyone who would listen.

Orihuela Costa has 30% of

and support Bob Houliston in to returning to the Coalition group in Orihuela.

As I write this on February 27 at 3.15pm it has 204 members.

Please print this as we need to show Bob Houliston that we still need him and Claro as part of the Coalition.

SARAH HILL

the population which means it will receive more than 30% of the remaining €37 million budget after wages are paid.

These figures are a matter of public record and it was

only a matter of time before one of the Coastal newspapers ed these figures, exposing Bob as an inept fraud.

Bob’s problem was that he is out of his depth in the Town

Hall and had to cover his tail by blaming everybody except himself and Monica Lorente for his failure to achieve anything other than photo opportunities in the last nine months.

It is unfortunate yet predictable that Bob has not relinquished his seat on the council which means that we will have to continue listening to his whining and complaining against the government.

The competencies that he had will now have to be shared among the remaining government team. How is this going to help the people of the coast?

PETER KING

BLINDED MOAT PC IS FOUND DEAD

THE policeman who was shot and blinded by crazed gunman Raoul Moat has been found dead at his home in a suspected suicide.

The body of Pc David Rathband was discovered in Blyth, Northumberland, on Wednesday night after officers received a report of concern for his welfare. A Northumbria Police spokesman said no-one was being sought in connection with the incident.

The father of two, 44, lost his sight and was fitted with prosthetic eyes after being shot at close range in July 2010 during the manhunt for fugitive Moat.

Paying tribute, Chief Constable Sue Sim said she was "deeply saddened" by the death of Pc Rathband, a "dedicated officer" who showed "outstanding bravery in what was a terrifying situation".

A force spokesman said: "Officers received a report of concern for the welfare of Pc David Rathband at his home in Blyth.

Officers attended and he was declared dead at the scene."

After Moat shot armed PC Rathband in the face and shoulder as he sat in his police car, the officer saved his own life by pretending to be dead - but lost his sight.

Friday, March 2, 2012

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Friday, March 2, 2012

RIB TICKLERS

Ribs are a hot food trend at the moment. Meaty, messy, sticky and gorgeous.

Here are some recipes to get your chops around.

Don't forget the napkins. And don't wear white. There's nothing delicate about eating ribs but when food tastes this good, it's worth getting your hands dirty.

2. Preheat the grill to medium-high. Mix together the STICKY HOISIN PORK RIBS hoisin sauce, honey, rice wine vinegar and garlic, then genWITH COLESLAW erously brush over the ribs. Place under the grill for 10-15 These sticky pork ribs go perfectly with the crisp coleslaw.

A brilliant dinner to eat with your fingers!

Ingredients

1. 1kg meaty pork ribs 2. 220ml hoisin sauce 3. 2 tbsp clear honey 4. 3 tbsp rice wine vinegar 5. 3 garlic cloves, crushed 6. for the coleslaw 7. 170g fresh mayonnaise (from the chiller aisles of supermarkets) or regular mayonnaise 8. Juice of ½ lime 9. ½ tbsp olive oil 10. 1 large carrot, shredded or grated 11. ½ white cabbage, finely shredded

Method

1. Place the ribs in a large pan, cover with water, bring to the boil, then simmer for 40 minutes. Drain well, pat the ribs dry and place in a shallow roasting tray, lined with foil.

minutes, turning and basting occasionally, until sticky and cooked through.

3. Meanwhile, mix the fresh mayonnaise with the lime juice and olive oil. Stir through the shredded carrot and cabbage. Season to taste.

4. Divide the coleslaw among individual bowls and serve the sticky ribs on a plate alongside.

ALABAMA PORK RIBS WITH A SWEET AND SPICY GLAZE This juicy, flavoursome pork recipe is a real taste of the American south and perfect for a barbecue.

Ingredients

1. 2 x 1.3kg racks meaty pork ribs 2. Coleslaw and baked potatoes, to serve For the barbecue spice rub 1. 2 tbsp smoked paprika (sweet or hot) 2. 2 tsp salt 3. 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper 4. 1 tsp caster sugar 5. 1 tsp dried oregano 6. ½ tsp dried thyme

For the sweet and spicy glaze 1. 250ml tomato ketchup 2. 100g dark soft brown sugar 3. 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 4. 3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 5. 1 tbsp cider vinegar 6. 1 tsp barbecue spice rub

Method

1. Mix together the ingredients for the barbecue spice rub, and set 1 teaspoon aside for the glaze. Put the ribs, 1 at a time, onto a large baking tray and sprinkle all over with the remaining spice rub. Cover and chill for at least 4 hours or up to 24 hours.

2. For the sweet and spicy glaze, mix all the ingredients together in a bowl.

3. If using a charcoal barbecue, light it about 30 minutes before you want to cook. If using a gas barbecue, preheat it 10 minutes beforehand. Rearrange the coals or turn off the middle burner for indirect cooking.

4. Put the ribs onto the rack of the barbecue, bonyside down, making sure they are not directly over the heat. Cover with a lid and barbecue over an indirect medium heat for 30 minutes each side, until the ribs are tender and a deep reddish-brown.

5. Uncover the ribs and brush generously with the sweet and spicy glaze. Cook for 10 minutes, turn and brush with more glaze. Cook for a final 10 minutes or until nicely caramelised and sticky – brush with the remaining glaze.

6. Lift the ribs onto a board, brush once more with the glaze, cover with foil and rest for 10 minutes. Using a large, sharp knife, cut between the bones to separate the ribs.

Serve with the coleslaw and baked potatoes.

Friday, March 2, 2012

19

ROCKY’S ARENA THE KNOCKOUT VENUE

With amazing views over the Mediterranean, Rocky’s Arena Bar Restaurant is in the perfect location – and it is fast becoming a hit with locals and the many visitors to the area.

Under the management of Craig and his fully experienced team, this successful bar and restaurant is growing in popularity with great food, happy hour daily from 5pm to 7pm and 10pm to 1am and live entertainment – all with the added benefit of a beautiful setting, large patio and rooftop bar terrace offering fresh air and great views. The spacious interior will tempt you, too.

Situated on the N332 at Playa Flamenca, it’s close to all amenities and of course the fabulous beaches.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner menus fea-

ture a varied selection of dishes, all at excellent value. And now Rocky’s is planning a new menu and is about to launch a tapas bar on the rooftop terrace overlooking the sea. The Rocky’s buffet, with its large selection to suit all tastes continues to be a big hit and the presentation and service are always top quality.

The Arena is ideal for private parties, and look out for Rocky’s own special events such as the St Patrick’s Day celebration on March 17. With Guinness and Magners at €3, free Irish stew, lots of other giveaways and entertainment from DJ Lee Fox, there’s no better place to celebrate St Patrick’s Day. Rocky’s, the perfect hosts for any occasion.

20

Friday, March 2, 2012

Everyone at TKO would like to say a massive congratulations to Alison and Richard who got engaged with the help of TKO. Alison proposed to her partner of 9 years, live on Dennis Christian’s show on Wednesday 29th February saying, “Will you marry me - I love you millions.”

Richard accepted and we wish them all the happiness for the future.

Congratulations to the TKO Gold competition winners

Thank you to all our loyal listeners who came and visited us at the This Is Spain Exhibition last weekend.

For every advert you buy we’ll give you another one absolutly FREE!!

We are the only station on the Costa Blanca and Costa Calida that can offer you 2 services in one!

For more information call: 965 99 66 66 or email: advertise@tkofm.com

1. Shakin" Stevens real first name.

2. Martin Fry was lead singer with this group.

3. Boney M and a Russian monk.

4. The Drifters invited us to do this in 1965 and in 1972.

5. An Arthur Alexander song was covered by the Beatles on their Please Please Me album.

6. Lead singer with those Tiger Feet boys....Mud. 7. Drummer with The Jimi Hendrix Experience.

8. The Day We Caught The Train was this groups biggest hit in 1996.

9. Country of origin for these Radar Love boys.

10. These brothers went down to China Grove on a Long Train Running. they go!

You still have time to take advantage of the TKO

Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz!

We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm.

where

Make sure you pick up your TKO & Europa car sticker.

We will be giving out the pick up points on air so make sure your always tuned in.

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips POP QUIZ March 2nd

and see

There were many different people at the exhibition and the response we had was great.

Darren James from TKO GOLD and Amim Hasan from MEDCARE, BENIJOFAR flanking the recent prize winners of a Healthy Heart Check, Yvonne & Jeff Osborne from La Marina, drawn from over 200 entries!

Scan now

It was a delight to meet you face to face and to welcome the new listeners created by the exhibition.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Rolfing Massage Therapy A Way to Align the Body and Relieve Pain

Rolfing is a method of structural integration accomplished by soft tissue manipulation and movement education. Developed in the 1950s by Ida Rolf, this bodywork method has allowed people to stand straighter, move better than ever and gain height through its focus on correcting tissue fixations.

It is no secret that physical and emotional stress leaves its mark in the body via tight muscles, cramps, trigger points, aches and pains.

Every time we have been in a stressful situation, our body has reacted by tightening up and holding that stress in the tissues. Every physical sprain or strain we have suffered is still locked into muscle memory. Is there any doubt as to why we suffer chronic pain, especially musculo-skeletal pain?

There are many hands-on pain relief methods, such as massage, trigger point therapy, reiki, stretching, physical therapy and others. Among these is Rolfing, which specializes in soft tissue release. Basically, by releasing the adhesions and scar tissue holding muscle, fascia and tendon locked into spasm, the body can be corrected and free motion returned. This is accomplished by direct deep pressure that a practitioner applies to the body of a client with their fist, fingers and elbows.

Rolfing may be painful for some because of the deep pressure and tearing actions used. However, the pain only remains while the treatment is in session. The pain is evoked by the pressure exerted into the adhered soft tissue areas.

Once the adhesions are worked out, the pain subsides and the body is returned to normal ranges of motion and suppleness.

Since Rolfers differentiate between good posture and correct body structure, they strive to organize the skeletal system that has been made "crooked" through injury and stress.

By correcting the underlying structure of the body, and also removing adhesion of muscle and connective tissue, the body can realign and hold itself properly. And with proper structure and posture comes pain relief.

Through Rolfing sessions people can expect to improve flexibility, athletic performance, reduce swelling and pain, increase range of motion and correct posture. All types of performance improve and pain disappears when the muscles fire completely and rest completely. And this can only happen when the body is correctly aligned.

You might be asking yourself how Rolfing is different than regular massage? The difference is in the focus on the body treatment. Whereas massage improves circulation and helps relaxations and short-term stress, Rolfing focuses on reordering the body to prevent the pains returning. Also, whereas massage works on muscle tissue, Rolfing works on the fascia or connective tissue.

So if you suffer muscle or skeletal pain and have tried traditional massage, why not go one step farther and give Rolfing a try. It's a deeper therapy that may be the answer you are seeking.

So many people love to sleep. Whether it's getting an early night's rest, having a soothing siesta or catching a snooze on the beach, sleep is an important aspect to every human being.

The process of sleep is something we humans do almost automatically. From the time we are tiny little babies to the time when we become older adults; the human body and mind require adequate sleep in order to function properly.

Sleep is important as it allows the brain time to organise events and memories. It also allows the body time to relax and rejuvenate and most importantly, allows the muscles and cells to repair themselves.

During sleep, apart from the obvious physical changes

such as the eyes closing or muscles relaxing, one's heart rate slows down. Although it may seem as if the person is unconscious, if you were to attach an electroencephalograph to his head, you would be able to monitor the activity of his brainwaves.

As a person falls asleep, his or her brainwave patterns begin to slow down. During sleep, cycles of REM (Rapid Eye Movements) occur. This is generally when dreaming occurs and you will notice it on someone when their eyes flicker beneath their eyelids and muscles twitch. It has been said that people can have three to five intervals of REM per night.

Although a dream may sometimes seem as if it's lasting forever, an REM session lasts only between five to thirty minutes.

What Happens when We Sleep?

21

ARE TOXINS AFFECTING YOUR HEALTH? In our everyday life we are exposed to a staggering variety of environmental toxins. From dioxins in animal fat, lead in drinking water, exhausts from cars and chemicals released from landfill, it has become very difficult to escape their harmful health effects. Toxins are commonly encountered in the form of heavy metals, pesticides, chemicals, food additives, drugs and pollutants, which are present in the air, water and food that we consume. They do not only come from the external environment, but can also be generated internally by “unfriendly” bacteria, yeasts and parasites in the digestive systems. A report by the Columbia University School of Public Health estimates that 95% of cancer is caused by diet and environmental toxicity.

Among the several thousand chemical toxins found in the environment, the most prevalent in our air, water and food supply are phthalates, VOC’s (Volatile Organic Compounds), Dioxins, Heavy Metals and Chlorine.

Phthalates are used to lengthen the life of fragrances and for softening plastics, found in plastic wraps, plastic bottles and plastic food storage containers. They cause systemic endocrine damage especially in young children.

VOC’s are a serious health hazard because they are present in many household products such as deodorants, cleaning fluids, cosmetics, air fresheners, varnishes, and dry cleaned clothes. They have also been linked to serious health problems such as cancer, memory impairment, eye and respiratory tract irritation, headaches and visual

disorders. Chlorine is used in small amounts for domestic water sanitization, but is a highly toxic gas and is known to cause sore throat, coughing and lung collapse. Heavy metals such as arsenic, mercury, lead, aluminium and cadmium accumulate in the soft tissues causing neurological disorders, decreased production of red and white blood cells, abnormal heart rhythms and damage to blood vessels. These metals are used in the preparation of pesticides, vaccines and dental amalgams.

Toxic chemicals can affect any system in the body, including respiratory (nose, air passages and lungs), digestive (mouth, throat, stomach, etc.), circulatory (heart, blood), and nervous system (brain, nerve cells). Recent research has also pointed out that PCF (per fluorinated compounds) and PCB (Polychlorinated biphenyls ) used in water-resistant clothing and coatings in saucepans and frying pans, can affect several of the body's hormone systems in a more complex way than previously supposed.

The immune system is especially sensitive to toxins and is severely lowered by them causing an increase in disorders related to the immune system such as asthma, allergies, arthritis, auto-immune disorders, cancer, connective tissue disorders, diabetes, eczema, food intolerances, and inflammatory disorders. The signs and symptoms that show high exposure to toxins are varied and can include: tiredness, headaches, depression, memory problems, muscle aches and pains, diarrhoea, and allergies.

It is impossible to avoid toxins around you; however the aim is to limit self-exposure. Start using natural cleaning products in your home and avoid using artificial air fresheners, fabric softeners or other synthetic fragrances. Avoid processed food altogether, and consider more organic produce and a good water filtration system. Get plenty of sunshine to boost your vitamin D levels and immunity.

Make the best of the sun, you live in Spain!

Please send your queries to contact@mindspa.es or to book an appointment for a full body diagnostic scan or treatment call 630 118 439 or 966 262 93

22

Friday, March 2, 2012

23

Friday, March 2, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Tracy’s AVG had run out and she wanted to ADVICE: Paul wanted to know how to secure his computer know how to update it.

Q A

Hi Richard, my AVG has ran out and when i click on fix, it keeps coming up timed out. Can you please send me the link or what to do to put it back on?

Regards, Tracy

Hi Tracy, you can download the new version of AVG from http://free.avg.com/us-en/freeantivirus-download just click on the link under AVG Anti-Virus Free for the link to download.com

Hi Richard, could you tell me how I can password protect my computer please, I have just bought a new computer and it is not password protected, my old Windows XP computer was and I have lots of visitors, grand children mainly, and although I am happy for them to use my computer I would rather have it on my terms!

Q

How Much Does Google A Know About You? Well whatever it is, from today – 1st March 2012 – they will start to know an awful lot more about you unless you opt out of their new privacy policy.

Currently Google stores information about you based on the pages that you search the Internet for and from your use of Gmail if you have that as an email account – it uses this information to provide targeted advertising to you based on your search terms on the Google website.

From today they will also be learning more about you by tracking what you watch on You Tube and what information you look at on Google Maps, using this additional information Google could allegedly learn your age, location, sexual orientation, religious beliefs and health

status. In addition, anyone using an Android powered mobile phone could also give away sensitive information.

Data protection and civil liberties organizations are up in arms about the change and currently it’s under investigation as to whether this change by Google has broken the European data protection laws!

If you don’t want to provide this information to Google then you should opt out by doing the following…

1. Sign in to your Google account 2. Account Settings 3. Profile And Privacy 4. Google Privacy > Sign in to dashboard 5. Find Web History 6. Click "remove all Web History"

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hi Paul, I don’t blame you! I assume from your email that you have Windows 7 on your new computer? If so then it’s pretty easy to password protect it, just do the following….

1.

2.

DEL 3.

4.

5. access

Start Windows normally Once the desktop has loaded press the following keys together CTRL, ALT and You will see a menu appear, one of the options will be “change a password” Follow the on screen steps to set a password – DON’T FORGET IT! Restart the computer and this time it will ask you to enter your password to get

In addition if you have a bit more security, you might want to create a new user for the visitors to use, this way done is stored within their own profile and it wont mess with the settings of yours, to do this follow the steps below…

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Click Start, Control Panel Click User Accounts and Family Safety and then click User Accounts Click Manage Another Account Click Create a New Account Follow the steps to create a new account

When you restart your computer this time you will be presented with two login options, your usual one and the new account you have created.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

24

Friday, March 2, 2012

25

Friday, March 2, 2012

‘WITCH’ MURDERERS FACE LIFE IN PRISON

Mercadona dog food vet’s advice From Page 3

at having to fork out hundreds of Euros on vets’ bills.

Fortunately Mr Harris’s dog is slowly recovering.

“She is improving but I am still having problems getting her to eat, and she often sits shaking,’’ he says. “She is still on antibiotic injections every other day.

“Hopefully this will be the wake-up call us dog owners need. Maybe we should start paying a little more for our dog to have a healthy diet.’’

That policy is strongly recommended by vet Julian, who says: “Buying more expensive dog food may seem a lot of money, but if you think that a bag will last a month, it is less than one euro a day to keep your dog healthy.’’

A spokesman for Mercadona said an English speaking helpline has been set up and anyone worried about this issue should call 900 500 103.

A COUPLE are facing life sentences after being found guilty of murdering a teenage boy they accused of witchcraft.

Kristy Bamu, 15, was tortured and drowned in a bath on Christmas Day 2010 by his sister Magalie and her partner Eric Bikubi. They believed he had cast spells on another child in the family, the Old Bailey heard.

Football coach Bikubi, 28, and Magalie, 29, of Newham, east London, denied murder but were found guilty.

They were remanded in custody to be sentenced on Monday.

Kristy was in such pain after three days of being attacked with knives, sticks, metal bars and a hammer and chisel that he "begged to die" before slipping under the water. He had refused to admit to sorcery and witchcraft and his punishments in a "deliverance" ceremony became more horrendous.

He had come to London with his two brothers and two sisters from their home in Paris to visit Magalie during the Christmas holiday in 2010.

But Bikubi turned on them, accusing them of bringing kindoki - or voodoo into his home. He forced them to pray for deliverance for three days and nights and deprived them of food and water.

The sisters, aged 20 and 11, were beaten along with Kristy, but escaped further attacks after "confessing" to being witches. Kristy was singled out after wetting his pants. He was struck in the mouth with a heavy bar and hammer, knocking out his teeth. Ceramic floor tiles and bottles were smashed on

his head and and a pair of pliers used to twist his ear.

The terrified siblings, who also included a 13-year-old boy and an autistic brother aged 22, were made to join in the torture. At the end of their ordeal, they were all placed in the bath to be hosed down in cold water with a shower head. Brian Altman QC, prosecuting, said: "It was only when he realised that Kristy was not moving that Eric Bikubi stopped what he was doing and pulled him from the water. By then it was too late."

Monkey Davy Jones dies at 66 SINGER Davy Jones of The Monkees has died of a heart attack at 66, the medical examiner's office in Martin County, Florida confirmed.

Manchester-born Jones was most famous for his role in the American pop

group The Monkees, which was put together in 1965 for the TV show of the same name.

Their hits included "Daydream Believer," "Last Train to Clarksville," "I'm a Believer," and "Pleasant Valley Sunday."

They also charted with the theme song from the show.

He also made a famous appearance on "The Brady Bunch."

In 2008, Yahoo Music named him the top teen idol of all time.

Murder horror stuns Orihuela From Page One to her whole body including a gash to the head that required 17 stitches.

The two women and a third friend walked every day in the quiet garden area, but on Monday, after accompanying their friend home, they were savagely assaulted.

The attack took place just 200 yards from the house where until Monday Carmen lived with her husband.

Police have since cordoned off the area and residents in the quiet neighbourhood are in a state of shock over the attac.

A body of a woman has been found in a manhole in Pinto, Madrid by a team of workers hired by the local council to clean out the drains.

The discovery was made on Calle de la Cañada Real de la Mesta, close to the A-4 motorway.

The dead woman is thought to be about 30 years old and to have been there between one and three months.

Initial examinations revealed head injuries and results of DNA tests were expected to confirm the identity of the deceased.

The Guardia Civil have also been looking through missing people’s reports for clues.

l

26

Thousands get taxing time over fine errors The Sun

UP to 17,000 Britons who filed their tax returns on time are being threatened with fines for late payment.

A glitch in the Tax Office's computer system means letters demanding the £100 penalty fee have mistakenly been sent to homes across the UK. The letters warn that debt collection agencies will be sent in if recipients don't pay.

The taxman already stands to rake in more than £85million in fines from the 850,000 people who really did miss the February 2 deadline.

Under stringent new measures, anyone who filed returns late is fined even if they do not have any tax to pay.

A spokesman said: "We have cancelled the penalties and apologise to those affected.”

Friday, March 2, 2012

WHAT THE UK

BRAWL OF DEATH Police launch probe into A SCHOOLBOY who died after being hit on the head by a cricket ball may have been injured when a mass brawl broke out in the playground.

Kyle Rees, 16, suffered a serious head injury and was knocked unconscious in the incident on Monday afternoon. A 16-year-old fellow pupil was arrested on suspicion of manslaughter school are said to be last night after GCSE stu- "devastated" by the death of the "memorable and dent Kyle died in hospital.

On Wednesday, a pupil talented young man".

Debbie Godfrey-Phaure, at Portchester School in head of Bournemouth claimed that executive a fight involving “30 to 40 Portchester School, said: kids” broke out around "The next few weeks and months are going to be 2pm on Monday.

The schoolboy told BBC emotionally testing for our Radio Solent that foot- students and staff."

Police said: “A 16-yearballs, tennis balls, shoes and chairs were thrown in old boy was arrested in the brawl, which he descri- connection with the incibed as “random copycat dent, initially for assault and subsequently on susviolence”.

Dorset police said the picion of manslaughter.

“He has been released fight was "one line of inquiry" in the investiga- on bail while enquiries tion but stressed they had continue.”

Earlier, Kyle’s heartbronot yet received any other authoritative report of ken mum Tanya Cooper, what happened during the 42, paid tribute to her son, describing him as the incident.

Staff and students at the “light of my life”.

Daily Mirror

school cricket-ball killing

Kyle Rees: Serious head injury

Dragon Duncan: I’m out!

The Sun DRAGONS' Den star Duncan Bannatyne has divorced second wife Joanne McCue. The telly tycoon, 63, and Joanne, 45, ended their five-year marriage in December, High Court records show.

The couple have refused to discuss the reasons for their break-up — but friends say it was a bitter split.

The multi-millionaire has previously said Joanne's maintenance demands were so steep he would be forced to lay off 43 staff. Joanne had allegedly demanded £1,000 a day on top of maintenance for their two kids, Emily, 10, and Tom, eight.

Sponges and soap DENTAL nurse Kerry Trebilcock has eaten 4,000 washing-up sponges and more than 100 bars of soap due to a rare disorder.

The 21-year-old loves nothing more than covering them in hot sauce, Ketchup or mustard for added flavour and also dips them in tea or hot chocolate like biscuits.

Her disorder - known as pica - is so bad that she gets hungry while taking a shower, doing the washing-up or just walking down the cleaning aisle in supermarkets.

The disorder causes victims to crave objects that are not food and other sufferers eat metal, coal, sand, chalk — or even light bulbs and furniture.

Kerry, of Mylor, Cornwall, believes she

Friday, March 2, 2012

TABLOIDS SAY

House prices on up at last Market springs into life as values increase

Daily Express UK property prices bounced upward last month, heralding the start of a spring upturn in the market, official figures showed this week.

Values rose by an average of £1,161 between December and January – their strongest monthly rise since July.

An upswing was recorded for every region except the Northwest, according to Land Registry sales figures.

The cost of a typical three bed semi in England and Wales is now £161,545, a rise of 1.1 per price hikes are on the way.

“The coiled spring of anticcent from the end of 2011.

The increase is partly due ipation is slowly beginning to to a rush by first-time buy- unwind as more would-be ers to secure a home before buyers see buoyancy return the end of a stamp duty to the market,” said Russell exemption on cheaper Quirk, director of the online estate agent emoov.co.uk. properties on March 24.

“The impending end of the But easier access to mortgages is also beginning stamp duty holiday has been to filter through to aspiring a factor but we are also seehomebuyers after four ing a shift in the sort of people buying. Many ‘discreyears of market frustration.

Estate agents and prop- tionary’ movers were put off erty analysts, who say the by fears of a second property rise is further evidence of crash. There’s more confithe health of the housing dence in the market which market, predict that more these rises hint at,” he said.

27

Bomber’s widow is terror plot suspect A WOMAN cops think may be the widow of a 7/7 bomber is wanted for questioning over a suspected terror plot.

British-born Samantha Lewthwaite was married to Jermaine Lindsay, who killed 26 people on a Tube train in 2005.

Now Kenyan police probing a planned attack in the city of Mombasa last December say they want to speak to her.

Cops swooped on a terror cell before Christmas but one woman, who it is thought could be Samantha, got away.

Nairobi authorities stressed they could not confirm the woman they are looking for actually is 28-year-old Samantha until they trace her. Already one Briton, Jermaine Grant, 29, has been charged in Kenya.

The Sun Police are also searching for another British suspect, Habib Ghani, from Hounslow, West London, who left Britain several years ago to live in Africa.

Lewthwaite — who is the daughter of a former British Army soldier — converted to Islam as a teenager and met Lindsay through an internet chat room.

They married in 2002, three years before he detonated a rucksack bomb on a Piccadilly Line train at King's Cross — killing 26 people.

Lewthwaite said the attacks — just before she had her second child — were "abhorrent". She claimed her husband was a naive man who had been influenced by radical preachers.

Mum’s double cruise nightmare A WORRIED mum has told of her fears for her daughter trapped on stricken liner Costa Allegra — weeks after her son survived the Costa Concordia tragedy.

Jayne Thomas has had no contact with dancer Rebecca since the cruise ship was left without power by an engine fire.

Last month Jayne waited anxiously after 19-year-old son James — also a dancer — was on its doomed sister Rebecca Thomas on stage ship, which sank off an Italian island, with her brother James claiming 32 lives.

The Sun

Jayne, 48, said: "I didn't think anything like this could happen again. I thought it was a one-off — I didn't think disaster could strike twice.

"Of all the ships that are sailing in the ocean, the two that have come into difficulty in the last few weeks have been the two that my children were on.

Rebecca, of Sutton Coldfield, West Mids, is one of 31 Brits among the 1,049 passengers and crew on board the Costa Allegra, adrift in the Indian Ocean.

on menu due to rare eating disorder Daily Mail got the bizarre disorder after being infected with hookworm while on holiday to Morocco in 2008.

Her favourite bar of soap is organic lemon and lime and Kerry said: "I have been very particular about the type of sponges and soaps I'd eat and how I'd

prepare them. If I went out for the day I'd carry a small plastic bag of cut-up pieces of sponge with some tomato and BBQ sauce in Tupperware. I was never without a 'snack'."

Speaking about the first time she ate a sponge Kerry said: "After one dinner where I ate a double helping of lasagne and a tub of ice cream, I still felt hungry.

"To distract myself, I decided to wash the dishes. I took out a new sponge from a packet and had an overwhelming desire to eat it.

"I sat down with a glass of water and chewed the sponge until it was gone.

"It tasted of nothing but I found eating it enjoyable. Finally my hunger was gone and my stomach felt satisfied."

Kerry, who still has a one-inch square of sponge and three teaspoons of organic soap with each meal, is determined to kick the disorder with the help of her GP and Floral Gum sweets.

She said: "They taste like soap so they help me get the flavour I desire without doing any damage. I know one day I will beat this."

28

Friday, March 2, 2012

THE HEADLINES IN

MADRID FORCED TO BAIL OUT REGIONS

El Pais

SPANISH central government has promised to help town halls pay their unpaid bills as part of a public finance clean-up in the regions.

Cowboys caught on hoof for TV show La Opinion

TWO Murcian cowboys are to feature this autumn in a documentary about This news comes amid budget cuts that are disrupting their horseback journey across Spain, services and threatening small businesses. from South to North.

Schools and hospitals in some regions are underThe adventurous pair set out from resourced and the companies that supply them unpaid and at Bullas in Murcia, and plan to ride 1,200 risk of bankruptcy, in a funding crisis that has prompted km - all the way to Andorra. numerous street protests.

Manuel Reyes and Ruben Gama are Government spokeswoman Soraya Saenz de Santamaria riding two beautiful, white Arabic horssaid last Friday that the government is “working on mechaes. nisms to enable the payment of debts to suppliers by the Ruben, a keen rider, met Manuel public administrations. when he came to film a documentary “The measure being drawn up takes into account the very about the Apostle route, towards delicate situation of the small and medium businesses and the self-employed who are in a very hard situation because Caravaca. Manuel did the route on a of non-payment by the public authorities,” she said. bike, and Manuel on horseback.

They realised what fantasThe government has tic footage following a horselaunched a tough programme of reforms and ride made, and the idea of spending cuts and is prestravelling further was born. suring the big-spending They found sponsors and regions to do their bit. set off three weeks ago, on “They will be obliged to February 6, sleeping in a tent submit to the treasury before and eating chorizo and whatMarch 15 a list of debts pendrecognised that they hold ever anyone offers them.

NEITHER the threats El Pais ing to their suppliers,” Saenz different views about the accompanying Argentina’s The two have been told a news conference. claim to the Falklands nor stressed after their first dispute. impressed by the hospitality They will also have to subAll they could agree was the cordial approach of personal encounter last mit a cost-cutting plan showand friendliness of the peoweek, Rajoy failed to that their respective forSpanish premier Mariano ing how they will settle future Rajoy (left) over Gibraltar gain even the slightest eign ministers, William ple they have met along the debts. Alongside this, a temseem to have had any concession from David Hague and Joseph Manuel route so far. porary change to the regulaGarcia-Margallo, would effect on London’s stony Cameron.

The documentary, to be tions will enable the state to In their appearance keep talking. refusal to negotiate on the called “Horizontes a Caballo” make guarantees to meet the before the media after a Mr Cameron, however, (Horse Horizons), will be future of its last colonies. payments to suppliers.

Despite the ideological lunch at 10 Downing left no room for hope, shown in 12 episodes, and the Local authorities owe a emphasising that affinity that both men Street, the two leaders scenography promises to be total of around 30billion his position “has stunning, as they ride over euros to suppliers. not changed”.

“We will not talk mountains and round cities.

They are already thinking about Gibraltar s is the fact without of extending the route, zen working citi tish Bri ny ma prise to lowest income goes to with the people of maybe even ending their ond sec the t tha ual ann Spain’s

by Monaco Gibraltar.

La Verdad KING Juan Carlos of horseback adventure in Elizabeth II, followed te receive, Queen er than that of the sta low of es tim ds hea five “This they Russia. is or ary chs sal n. nar ede mo Sw es and tim hor en and sev Matthjs, the aut ich receive the must understand,” Queen of Holland, according to Herman The royal families wh Our photograph shows Norway’s. ropean Royal Eu ht bourg, Norway, he insisted. eig em the Lux on are dy es lower than the King of stu largest incom may sound of a Rubén Gama (left) and r yea a os m. eur 2 lgiu ,62 Be But the two men While 175 Denmark, Holland and ome families. inc sur est a low as e the Manuel Reyes during the is com it , y did agree on other like a lot of money Something which ma European the of journey. y an matters during the visit. that

Cameron rock solid on Gib leaving Rajoy in hard place

e p o r u E in id a p t s e w Spanish king lo

29

Friday, March 2, 2012

SPAIN THIS WEEK

‘Valencian Spring’ was orchestrated by left-wing radicals THE organisers of student protests in Valencia have given their revolt the name ‘Valencian Spring’. But behind the student demands are a number of elements that belie this idealisation of the street protests, La Razon reports.

The origin of the protests was an alleged lack of heating at the Lluis Vives school.

But the Ministry of Education, Training and Employment told La Razon that the school would not have cut heating and that as of December last year it had 27,134 euros in its bank account - a figure now said to be in excess of 80,000.

And the main instigators of the protest did not appear to be from the school. Of the 45 arrested, only one was a pupil at the school. Of 300 protestors identified by police, only 30 were of school age. Many protestors were known to the police and had participated in other protests orchestrated by radical leftist groups.

According to the Professional Police Union, a number of those arrested already had previous convictions for crimes, including theft and drug offences.

José Manuel León, president of the Professional Union of Valencia Police, said: “These kind of concentrations, which in principle are peaceful, turn violent because of the radical anti-establishment elements.”

The provocative agents act then get out of the way, leaving students in the front line, he added.

Picasso is probed by ‘Pablito’ droid

El Pais PABLO Picasso's Guernica, one of the world's most iconic paintings, is getting a full health check to mark its 75th anniversary.

A giant robotic machine is taking tens of thousands of microscopic shots of the black-and-white anti-war masterpiece to allow experts to penetrate the work like never before and see its real condition after a hectic life travelling the globe.

Madrid's Reina Sofia museum — where Guernica is housed — has teamed up with Telefonica to develop the technology, which uses advanced infrared and ultraviolet photography.

The machine was built so that Guernica does not have to make the risky move to a conservation laboratory, where normally such investigative work would be done.

"The painting is in delicate condition given that it has suffered a lot of movement and many alterations," said Jorge Garcia Gomez-Tejedor, the museum's head of conservation. "You

could compare it to a major medical check-up in the sense that it needs to be constantly monitored and watched over."

Every night after the museum shuts its doors — and on Tuesdays when the museum is closed — Pablito, as the robotic mechanism has been dubbed, is dragged out and placed roughly a metre from the 27-sq metre (291-sq foot) painting. Throughout the night Pablito painstakingly scans the masterpiece, slowly compiling photographic DNA. Pablito’s programmable camera lenses have a precision of movement of 25 microns, or 25 thousandths of a millimetre, allowing analysts to see even air bubbles and scratches undetectable by the human eye.

"It will give us untold information about the painting," said Humberto Duran, the restoration computer technician who presided over the project's design.

Duran said the process will give a complete view of the painting's underlying preparatory drawings and all the later touch-ups it was subjected to.

Hundreds want Franco inquiry as judge found not guilty HUNDREDS of people showed up in Madrid's Puerta del Sol on Monday night demanding the Supreme Court appoints a court to investigate Franco-era crimes, reports El Pais.

Supporters of disbarred High Court Judge Baltasar Garzón believe that while the top court has acquitted him of breaching his bench duties by trying to open up an inquiry, it has effectively buried any chance for an official probe.

The court ruled that while the "search for truth" is "legitimate and necessary" it is a matter for the state, not a judge.

Practically all judges except in Granada and El Escorial - have dropped investigations into Franco-era assassinations.

Over the past decade some 300 mass graves have been opened up at sites throughout Spain.

CAR BUFFS BOARD SUB FOR FREEWHEELING DAY THE Freewheelers enjoyed an interesting visit to the Floating Museum and Sea and Salt museum in Torrevieja last week.

The 36-strong Classic Car group found their tour of the Delfin S-61 Submarine and the Albatros III Customs launch impressive and informative.

Joined by guide Jacinto, they marvelled at the cramped conditions, finding it almost impossible to believe that 74 officers and

crew lived in such confined space for up to three weeks at a time. The health and safety limit for visitors is 20.

After thanking Jacinto and being presented with a memento of their visit, the Freewheelers moved on to the Sea and Salt Museum, where they were greeted by Graham Knight from the Foreigners office, who gave a talk on the history of the salt flats and the town.

30

Friday, March 2,16, 2012 Friday, December 2011

Reality stars in their white cars For celebrities like TOWIE stars Lydia Bright and James Argent (pictured in a white Rolls-Royce below), Amy Childs, Katie Price, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, it seems that white cars are the must-have fashion accessories of the moment. And where they lead, it would appear the British public is predisposed to follow.

testant Danielle Lloyd in her Range Rover Sport complete with red leather seats.

MERCEDES-BENZ CLC Jack Tweed Jack Tweed is the widower of Big Brother star Jade Goody and best friend of Mark Wright from The Only Way is Essex.

Here he is with Mercedes' CLC compact coupe in colour of the moment.

MERCEDES-BENZ G-CLASS Audrina Patridge "We've seen a material increase in the number of people driving white cars, it's one of the top five colours for new car buyers," said Pendragon chief executive, Trevor Finn.

"Every 10 or 15 years there's a cycle where white cars become very fashionable, and we're now in it."

Anyone who keeps a close watch on the car industry will have seen today's white car trend emerge on motorshow stands a few years back but the growing number of celebrities being pictured in them has sent sales rocketing.

RANGE ROVER SPORT Danielle Lloyd If there's one manufacturer that's more closely associated with the celebrity white car trend than all the others, it's got to be Range Rover. Here's former Celebrity Big Brother con-

Of course, it isn't just British reality stars who are investing in white rides. They're in vogue across the pond too. This is Audrina Patridge in the celebrity favourite ÂŁ70,000 Mercedes-Benz G-Class. Audrina is a star of MTV's The Hills.

ROLLS-ROYCE GHOST Kim Kardashian If you're going to get a white car, why settle for anything less than the best? This is US reality TV queen Kim Kardashian in her white Rolls-Royce Ghost. The car is powered by a 6.6litre V12 engine and starts at ÂŁ200,000 before options.

31

Friday, March 2, 2012

RANGE ROVER Leandro Penna

the Lamborghini-rivalling V10. After the global success of their reality TV show, the Osbournes can probably afford an R8 each but here we have Ozzy and daughter Kelly sharing a white one.

Price-wise, this drop-top Beemer is actually quite affordable with the entry-level model dipping under £25,000.

This is Leandro Penna, the ex-boyfriend of Katie Price. He's down at the garden centre testing the boot capacity of his white Range Rover.

MERCEDES-BENZ CLK CABRIOLET Chloe Sims

CADILLAC ELDORADO CONVERTIBLE Peter Andre

Now you're talking. Peter Andre is another ex-partner of Katie Price but he's comprehensively upstaged her white car efforts with this gorgeous classic Cadillac convertible.

BMW 1 SERIES CONVERTIBLE Gemma Collins This is Gemma Collins, a fully paid-up member of the TOWIE crowd, with her white BMW 1 Series Convertible.

LEXUS LF-A Paris Hilton

The TOWIE white car club gains another member here. It's Chloe Sims, a stalwart of the reality TV show. She's pictured with a Mercedes-Benz CLK, a car that's long been a favourite with celebs but when out of production in 2009.

AUDI TT ROADSTER Chantelle Houghton Former Celebrity Big Brother contestant Chantelle Houghton has made quite a few modifications to her Audi TT Roadster.

Starting at £25,000, the TT remains one of the most popular sports cars on sale today and you can bet that a fair few of them are rolling off the production line in white.

AUDI R8 Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne The TT is nice but the ultimate sporting Audi is the R8 supercar. You'll need £90,000 for the V8 model or £117,000 for

And finally. It's arguably the biggest reality TV star of them all with the flashiest white car of the lot. Paris Hilton is pictured emerging for the incredible £300,000 Lexus LF-A supercar.

32

Friday, March 2, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 26 represents T and 6 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Flock of quail (4) 3 Merry-go-round (8) 9 Distinguish oneself (7) 10 Most worthless parts (5) 11 Not enough (12) 13 Unconcerned (6) 15 Talk on a religious subject (6) 17 Halloween greeting (5,2,5) 20 Complete lack of order (5) 21 Large square-rigged sailing ship (7) 22 Common nonmetallic element (8) 23 Computer memory unit (4)

Down 1 Damage someone’s reputation (8) 2 Disease germ (5) 4 Attack in speech or writing (6) 5 Bit of lore passed on by word of mouth (3,5,4) 6 Breastbone (7) 7 Overrun with vegetation (4) 8 Port in western California (3,9) 12 Occurrence of something (8) 14 Personal attendant (7) 16 Fleshy muscular organ in the mouth (6) 18 Opposing military force (5) 19 Church figure (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Scot, 4 Body, 9 Heron, 10 Salvage, 11 Propose, 12 Miser, 13 Pester, 15 Damsel, 18 Aware, 20 Appoint, 23 Edifice, 24 Ample, 25 Ugly, 26 Earn.

Down: 2 Curious, 3 Tango, 4 Busted, 5 Dilemma, 6 Chip, 7 Jams, 8 Petrol, 13 Places, 14 Evening, 16 Skipper, 17 Lately, 19 Arid, 21 Peace, 22 Tied.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 Threaten young Dennis (6) 8 I hope Rastafarian show contains musical dramas (6) 9 Anger is in fashion (4) 10 Steel men work out basics (8) 11 Held back a deed that contains a poem (7) 13 Came with nothing but a piece of jewellery (5) 15 Quick cuppa after changing gear? Terrific!

(5) 17 Pepper dissolves in me pot (7) 20 Banish great eel stew (8) 21 Take short rests back on the bridge (4) 22 Give up work and go to bed (6) 23 Ms Balding takes tea, then wine (6)

Down 1 Refuse to do needlework a long time (6) 2 Uncommon way to cook a steak (4) 3 Churchman, the Queen and the journalist admired (7) 4 Arrive Tuesday for the space traveller (5) 5 Breed an unruly teenager (8) 6 Engagement in Sussex? (6) 12 Eros leaves his messy ice-cream soda for a university professor (8) 14 There's no noise since the Spanish went back inside (7) 16 Staggered about, being wound up (6) 18 Red art turns up for the dealer (6) 19 Bird seen in Andorra, Venice and Rome (5) 21 A small taxi for a strike breaker (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Waste matter (6) 2 Uncommon (4) 3 Respected (7) 4 Extra-terrestrial object (5) 5 Produce (8) 6 Conflict (6) 12 Educational (8) 14 Absence of sound (7) 16 Stagger (6) 18 Merchant (6) 19 Type of crow (5) 21 Strike-breaker (4)

Across 7 Threat (6) 8 Dramas set to music (6) 9 Intense anger (4) 10 Components (8) 11 Postponed (7) 13 Piece of jewellery (5) 15 Large (5) 17 Bell pepper (7) 20 Demote (8) 21 Spread (4) 22 Give up work (6) 23 Dark red wine (6)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Chaps, 4 Famish, 9 A la mode, 10 Pilot, 11 Epee, 12 Spangle, 13 Cut, 14 Echo, 16 Sale, 18 Pie, 20 Miracle, 21 Ease, 24 Spice, 25 Chorale, 26 Salted, 27 Bidet.

Down: 1 Ceases, 2 Adage, 3 Shot, 5 Appraise, 6 Illegal, 7 Hit men, 8 Beast, 13 Concrete, 15 Cordial, 17 Amuses, 18 Pence, 19 Resent, 22 Award, 23 Comb.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

Oft 2 letter words Old As Opt It Rat 3 letter words Rue Ado Sag Ant Tie Are Tip Ate Top Coy Via Duo 4 letter words Edo Able Gen Aide Ham Area Has Arts Hoe Aver Ion Bade Lip Bass Nab Beer Ode

Bogs Cram Dint Euro Hams Hope Hops Lamp Lone Moue Oats Oboe Plus Rose Seep Sing Sloe Snap Tame

5

6 7

8

Thaw Told Tuna letter words Loose Ruler Stile letter words Seesaw Stitch letter words Busiest Carport Petrify Sessile letter words Indolent Oriental

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Tablecloth (6) 4 Thorn (prickle) (6) 9 Dirección (7) 10 Stamp (post) (5) 11 Years (4) 12 Lemonade (7) 15 Tobillos (6) 16 Tongue (anatomical) (6) 19 Avestruz (7) 21 Tin can (4) 24 Carreteras (5) 25 To repeat (say or do again) (7) 26 Mayor (en edad) (6) 27 Caballos (6)

Down 1 To work (person) (8) 2 Candado (7) 3 Les (a ellos) (4) 5 To hold (belief, opinion, note) (8) 6 Islas (5) 7 Love (of person) (4) 8 To be (5) 13 Soft drink (8) 14 Words (8) 17 Gloves (7) 18 Bufanda (prenda) (5) 20 España (5) 22 Brazos (de persona) (4) 23 Celery (4)

33

Friday, March 2, 2012 Across 1 Which small European tree has hanging clusters of yellow flowers followed by slender pods containing poisonous seeds?

(8) 7 Eva who was the German mistress of Adolf Hitler? (5) 8 Which firm, whitish, flexible connective tissue is found in various forms in the larynx and respiratory tract, in structures such as the external ear, and in the articulating surfaces of joints? (9) 9/7D/20 Which computer scientist is generally credited as the inventor of the World Wide Web? (3,7-3) 10 What name is given to a miniature whirlpool or whirlwind resulting when the current of a fluid doubles back on itself? (4) 11 Cydonia oblonga is the scientific name for which hard, acid pear-shaped fruit that is used in preserves or as flavouring? (6) 13 What was the surname of Pierre-Auguste (1841-1919), an early French Impressionist painter and his son Jean (1894-1979), a film director, famous for such films as Grand Illusion (1937), The Rules of the Game (1939) and The River (1951)? (6) 14 `What was the surname of the 19th century German composer and pianist who wrote four symphonies, four concertos, chamber and piano music, choral works including the German Requiem and nearly 200 songs? (6) 17 Which coarse, fibrous cylindrical object is used like a bath sponge for washing? (6) 18 What name is given to the larva of an insect, especially a beetle, a maggot or small caterpillar? (4) 20 See 9 22 What name is normally applied to the mass murder of Jews under the German Nazi regime during the second world war? (9) 23 Which small ornamental mat made of lace or paper with a

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

lace pattern, is often put on a plate under cakes or other sweet food? (5) 24 Vladimir and which other character are the two tramps Waiting For Godot in Samuel Beckett's 1952 play of that name?

(8)

Down 1 What name is often given to money, especially when regarded as sordid or distasteful or gained in a dishonourable way? (5) 2 What is the surname of the Russian composer best known for the epic opera Prince Igor? (7) 3 What is the name of the long, narrow strap attached at one end to a horse's bit, typically used in pairs to guide or check a horse in riding or driving? (4) 4 Which distant planet, the seventh in order from the sun, was discovered by William Herschel in 1781? (6) 5 The reputation of which Italian poet rests chiefly on The Divine Comedy, an epic poem describing his spiritual journey through Hell and Purgatory and finally to Paradise? (5) 6 House of the Rising Sun, in 1964, was which band's only British number one hit single?

(7) 7 See 9 Across 12 In the 1980s television comedy series Sorry, what was the first name of the librarian character played by Ronnie Corbett? (7) 13 Which dish consists of a slice of meat, fish or sponge that is rolled around a soft filling and cooked? (7) 15 What was the surname of the English novelist who created the gentleman burglar Raffles? (7) 16 Which '70s American television soap opera featured the Ewing family who lived at Southfork ranch? (6) 17 Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov was the real name of which Russian revolutionary leader? (5) 19 In athletics what name is given to the short stick or tube passed from runner to runner in a relay race? (5) 21 What name is given to a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not healed quite completely and fibrous connective tissue has developed? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH TIPOS DE PERSONALIDAD -TYPES OF PERSONALITY Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

1. What Is Caused Through A Spasm In The Diaphram?

2. What animal is depicted on the logo of Toys R Us? 3. Where Is Mission Control Centre?

4. In 1887 what did Dr. Ludwig L. Zamenhof invent?

5. Clyde Tonbaugh discovered which planet in 1930?

6. Which acid gives nettles their sting?

7. what term appies to space devoid of matter?

8. Which Is The Largest Species Of Ape? 9. What Is The Male Sex Hormone Called?

10. Babies are born without what?

11. What bird has the maximum recorded life span of 36 years?

12. What Sort Of Animal Was Tarka?

13. A haemodializar is a mechanical what?

14. Zymase and Glucose combine to form what drug?

15. Name Tin Tin's Canine Companion?

1. A Hiccough 2. Giraffe 3. Houston Texas 4. Esperanto 5.

Pluto 6. Formic acid 7. vacuum 8. Gorilla 9. Testosterone 10. Knee Caps 11. Herring Gull and Royal Albatross 12.

An Otter 13. Kidney 14. Alcohol 15. Snowy

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Budapest, 7 Prado, 8 Charlotte, 9 LSD, 10 Noun, 11 Brutus, 13 Slalom, 14 Benson, 20 Boa, 22 Red giants, 23 Envoy, 24 Freshman.

Down: 1 Bacon, 2 Dracula, 3/17A Palm sunday, 4 Saturn, 5 Gauls, 6/18 Gordian knot, 7 Pestles, 12 Country, 13 Scabies, 15 Synonym, 16 Gander, 17 Salvo, 19 Tyson, 21 Hibs.

15.inspirador, 16.romantico, 17.sensible, 18.reservado, 19.callado, 20.egocéntrico. a.friendly, b.quiet, c.ambitious, d.self-centred, e.generous, f.idealistic, g.authentic,

S E G X B O X O GAR EAS O I E U E R V C D T B O G M E D S X N U N I L S LA D O B N A X S G T T E I J U I A C I S V O E U Á I L R T S O R É C I R S R P RAM E O R Q I N I B E S M E E O N E G S O PTO LS EAD CTDAN W O S R S E E F I B I N N A H T Q N I O O R X S C I I I C T K A I C E D G Q O M Z O B S M N N LO LAW H S A E T N E I C A P M I L N Z DAM I S T O S O C K K L M O HALAGAD O RAN PAX O C I T NAM O R V Q X E C U Soduko

Span - Eng

h.impatient, i.romantic, j.empathetic, k.sincere, l.reserved, m.enchanting, n.inspiring, o.organised, p.sentimental, q.wise, r.complementary, s.sure, t.sensitive.

Answers: 1f, 2o, 3h, 4q, 5j, 6k, 7a, 8e, 9p, 10r, 11s, 12m, 13c, 14g, 15n, 16i, 17t, 18l, 19b, 20d.

general QUIZ

1.Idealista, 2.organizado, 3.impaciente, 4.sabio, 5.empático, 6.sincero, 7.amistoso, 8.generoso, 9.sentimental, 10.halagador, 11.seguro, 12.encantador, 13.ambicioso, 14.autentico,

AMBICIOSO

IMPACIENTE

AMISTOSO

INSPIRADOR

AUTENTICO

ORGANIZADO

CALLADO

RESERVADO

EGOCÉNTRICO

ROMANTICO

EMPÁTICO

SABIO

ENCANTADOR

SEGURO

GENEROSO

SENSIBLE

HALAGADOR

SENTIMENTAL

IDEALISTA

SINCERO

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, March 2, 2012

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 The future holds much joy and happiness for someone close to you. But not you. Oh no, you're screwed. Rumour has it that hotdogs might be 90% snout. But you, sir, are 100% arse. You're as transparent as a blast of canned air - try to be more complex by wearing hats that are clearly too small for your head.

26...and I have never had a girlfriend Hello Rose. I want to know what to do about being single. I am 26 and never had a girlfriend not through lack of trying though!

People are often surprised because they say I’m good looking but I have always had selfesteem issues as a result of being bullied at school.

I have tried hypnosis CDs to make me more confident and they have made only a little difference I often get the feeling I am not supposed to be with anyone.

I have read many books on confidence, dating and seduction but nothing seems to work or fit.

I’m never sure if I’m trying too hard or not hard enough.

I have good personal hygiene, dress well, can make most people laugh and am loyal and accepting of most people.

Where am I going wrong?

MIKE, La Marina Hello Mike. At the tender age of only 26 you have got plenty of time for a relationship.

Relationships take time, starting at friendship and working on from there.

There are so many different ways to get into the dating scene these days from dating sites to even apps for android or iPhone!

Be yourself and just enjoy the time you have being single!

Oh and by the way in my opinion I think self-help books are a waste of money.

I think you should just keep trying, send random messages to girls introducing yourself, you never know!

Best of luck!

Sexist boss sickens me

Hello Rose. My boss kept me sitting in his office while he and another man there tried to guess my bra size.

It isn't the first time he's acted like this but I don't

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Today is not your lucky day. It's tomorrow instead! So that's something to look forward to whilst your picking up your teeth with your broken arm. Although your subtle forms of persuasion have worked well in the past, your partner may start to get tired of your spontaneous stripping to initiate sex

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Chasing cats and dogs around the streets after midnight is probably not the best way to endear yourself to new neighbours. Your spine is going to feel a tingling sensation later this day and you're not going to be able to attribute it to anything specific.

Cancer June 21 - July 22

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es know how to react.

I'm a 20-year-old secretary in a big company in Alicante. It's my first proper job and the money's quite good, but I'm humiliated by the constant sexist remarks.

I've been told to wear skirts and high heels every day.

My boss stared at my cleavage this morning and said, "You can't beat starting a day with a view like this."

When I bent over to pass him his tea he looked straight down my front and said "You can stay like that all day". It's pathetic.

It's not just my boss. All the men there are sexist and crude. They're all married but leer at the girls all day long. I can't afford to lose this job.

What can I do?

JENNY, Alicante Hello Jenny. This sexual harassment and you have to stick up for yourself.

Wear the kind of shoes you feel comfortable in, hold your head high and get on with your job.

You don't have to put up with this kind of sexist behavior.

Say simply, "Please don't make comments like that."

Talk to other girls in your office and ask if they've had the same treatment. Help each other to respond confidently to inappropriate comments and make it clear that they are not welcome.

My toyboy must go...

Hello Rose. I've been having a passionate affair but I can't live my life this way any longer – it is killing me.

I enjoy the moments with this guy but I want to work things out with my husband.

I'm 42 and my hubby is 47. We have a daughter of 16. I started my dream job when my daughter began upper school. But my marriage hit rock bottom and the strains of working made it worse.

A colleague fancied me and became a shoulder to cry on. He's only 29. He made me feel special in a way my husband didn't.

One night my daughter was staying with friends and my husband was away with work so I suggested my colleague came round for a takeaway.

We drank some wine, ate our food then looked at one another as if to say, "What now?"

We both knew the answer and fell into one another's arms.

The sex was lovely, warm and tender and I couldn't wait to do it again.

We began checking into a hotel for an hour at lunch time. It felt a bit seedy but was all we could manage.

I knew I was playing with fire so I changed my job. It made no difference. Our affair burns on.

I thought I would leave my husband and be happy with my lover. So I told my husband about my affair and said I wanted a

divorce.

Then my daughter asked me: "Why are you so unhappy, Mum? Dad loves you." It broke my heart and I realised I had made a hasty decision without working things through. I feel so sad that I have put my husband through this.

He cries every night and says he is willing to do anything for us to make it work.

I want to end the affair but I am scared of what will follow. I haven't had good sex with my husband for ages because I feel like running away each time he touches me. But I realise I'm resenting him more because I am still involved in the affair.

I am so ashamed of what I've done. I would never have an affair again.

I have now realised that no marriage is happy all the time and we have to work at it.

PAULA La Mata Hello Paula. End the affair right away by saying you have realised you want your husband and family life. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be for all three of you.

Make sure your lover understands you don't want to try to have both. He knew you were married so went into this with his eyes open.

Then keep away — no texting, no contact at all. At least you are not seeing him at work.

Concentrate on putting your marriage right. Your husband gives you security and a stable family life but you've both allowed the closeness and warmth to slip.

You can rekindle the intimacy if you put your minds to it. Reassure your daughter you both love her and are working to make your marriage stronger.

Although your faults are easy enough to see, you must really make an effort today to let people truly understand the depth of your problems. Chunks of meat will plague you today...or give you the plague. The mystics are being terribly vague on this one.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Your words are, to some, like finger-nails scratching a black-board. Speaking as a robotic horoscope monster, I can only wish you the best of luck when the revolution comes. Your prejudices may lead you astray today and leave you requiring four or five stitches.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Every reason you have for doing what you did, is sound. Be grateful that you have a good network of friends and family. What you hear and what was said may differ today, so be aware of either your failing hearing or your increasing hatred of those talking to you.

Libra September 23 - October 22 You have a very positive outlook on life that may have to shift slightly to fit in with a new persona that may be forced onto you today.

Gift horses always happen to those who least expect it. The moral of this horoscope is: expect a gift horse.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 There is no word "ecseterar". And it's *definitely* not abbreviated as ect. The differences between you and your peers sets you apart. And by apart, I mean they're thinking of relocating you so that you're as far apart as physically possible.Jesus himself could not have done a better job than you will do today.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Any change you receive today will help you feel like someone is contributing to your lifestyle. Being sexy and being sexist are not one and the same. Your face may become sore and chapped today due to all the slapping. Don't be embarrassed by your actions today, embrace your flamboyant side.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Grey is definitely the colour of the week for you - although next week's special colours will be an interesting mixture of black, blue and deep, deep red. A lot of your work will be undone today as someone evil and vicious sets about making your life less nice.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Cups of tea and coffe will start to rack up around your desk today as you try to get everything done under the heady influence of a bucket of caffeine. Cartoons will flavour the day for you, today, giving you ideas and humour.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Find yourself someone to settle down with today. Don't be choosy - just pick at random.

If random fails, go for whoever doesn't violently sick-up on your clothing. Blimey, you ain't harf as wot you used to, ain't it? Much of your body weight tends to be distributed in a specific place - but that may start shifting today.

35

Friday, March 2, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY

SNOBBY SHERRIE A BENIDORM HIT WHEN I was back in the UK a few weeks ago to do an after-dinner speech, I was introduced to the parents of one of the executive producers of Benidorm. They told me they’d been out to stay with the cast and crew at Altea, and that they were looking forward to seeing the new series.

When I was asked what I thought about last year’s run, I had to be honest and told them that as a fan of the show, I thought it stank to high heaven, and that the next series had to get it back on track. You should have seen their faces as I passed that comment!

So, I heaved a huge sigh of relief last Friday as Benidorm returned to ITV1 with a bang. I knew all was well by the first ad break, and

Sherrie Hewson ... she got it absolutely spot on

with ALEX TRELINSKI the first episode overall certainly packed in more laughs then the whole of the previous run put together. We weren’t bombarded by stacks of new characters (a big mistake last year), and the team produced a real ace in the pack by getting in Sherrie Hewson to play the snobby new manager of the Solana.

She got it absolutely spot on, and I look forward to seeing her role as Joyce Temple Savage develop over the next few weeks.

There were also a couple of memorable lines like that one from hairdresser Kenneth about the Chihuahua (which I won‘t repeat here)…as well as Madge, beautifully played by Sheila Reid, being back to top foul-mouthed form, with her cigarette constantly on the go.

It gets better tonight, as her nemesis, son-in-law Mick Garvey, returns as actor Steve Pemberton was delayed from being in episode one due to his commitments with the somewhat different drama of Whitechapel.

Let’s hope that last week was not a flash in the pan, and that Benidorm is fully back to its old high standards. We’ll all be extremely happy if that is the case.

Are you having trouble finding a good, quick reliable builder? Then I suggest you quickly get a phone number for Owen and Jason in Weatherfield. The way that Steve’s home partition was quickly and cleanly put in to annoy Tracy Barlow on Coronation Street was a master class in rapid efficiency, only trumped by how Jason used Usain Bolt-like speed to have it removed a fortnight later.

They’d make an absolute killing if they moved over here!

I’m a big fan of musicals, so I wasn’t disappointed

by BBC2’s new Saturday night documentary series, The Story of Musicals.

Originally screened on BBC4 in January, the title is duff, as it actually reviews British musicals in the post-War period, but it was the only false note in an absolutely engrossing opener which whizzed you from Lionel Bart through to the split between Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd-Webber.

The archive material was priceless, and it was a surprise to see people that I thought had died yonks ago, like producers Robert Stigwood and Hal Prince popping up in brand new interviews. I also learnt a lot like the fact that Lionel Bart couldn’t read or write a single note of music, and that Paul Nicholas was a massive musical star (Hair and Jesus Christ Superstar) before recording rubbish records like Dancing with the Captain and Grandma’s Party. I can’t wait to see what we get in the second programme tomorrow night!

You can tell that the BBC teatime quiz mantle has been fully passed from The Weakest Link to Pointless,

The first film, based on John W. Campbell’s 1938 novella, Who Goes There? was 1951’s The Thing From Another World, credited to Christian Nyby but apparently directed by the great spleens-a-go-go Howard Hawks.

CAST: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Eric Christian Olsen, explode John Carpenter’s The Joel Edgerton DIRECTOR: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. with a tentacled fury that is Thing, in 1982, returned to GENRE: Horror, RATING: 3.5/5 RUNNING TIME: 103 min. not something to look at on a the novel’s original premise full stomach. Winstead carabout a shape-shifting alien you’ve heard or read other- Kate Lloyd. Kate gets the ries her character's sexylife form. Carpenter’s film wise. Critics and audience call-up to travel to Antarctica librarian-hotness with cool offers up the typical eighties’ members pretending that after a determined Dr. restraint. She has no probmixture of claustrophobic John Carpenter's 1982 ver- Sander Halvorson (Ulrich lem getting down and dirty setting and gooey, explosive sion is better, or scarier, than Thomsen) discovers an with a flame-thrower when spectacle. This was the era Heijningen's film are in for a alien monster frozen in the the time comes. The when sci-fi horror was painful revelation if they ever ice. As with the Carpenter redoubtable Joel Edgerton Hollywood’s favourite lab for take the time to actually version, this gruesome look- ("Warrior") does his part to compare the films in close ing Thing has the ability to destroy the multiplying Thing special effects.

Debut director Matthijs succession. Mary Elizabeth infect the DNA of humans to as helicopter pilot Braxton van Heijningen’s update of Winstead is a comely the previously twice-made improvement over Kurt This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING "Thing" horror movies is a Russell as the story's pro- MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all completely respectable tagonist. Winstead plays do- over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel effort in spite of everything it-all palaeontologist Dr. 650 944 934 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

Pointless: Flavour of the moment in teatime quizzes as the Alexander Armstronghosted show launched a celebrity version last Saturday. Like the weekday Pointless, it was very entertaining, and at least we knew who was appearing on screen, as opposed to the witless Let’s Dance for Sport Relief that followed.

After a dreadful first outing, edition number two was just as bad, and I’ve now given it up as a bad job, having enjoyed the previous three years of the show. It doesn’t say a lot either for the taste or common sense of UK viewers that far more watched this twaddle as opposed to the hilarious Harry Hill and TV Burp at the same time on ITV1. It really does make you wonder how

THE THING (2011) 15 Carter. Better paced than Carpenter’s film and just as gory, this one has a much better double climax.

Even with its plot holes this is an enjoyable monster movie that gets the job done. If you’re a fan of the genre, ignore the negative reviews and go have a blast with this well-made picture that features an ass-kicking chic who can really go nine rounds with your worst nightmare.

many British viewers have been lobotomised.

If you’re up late on a Monday night, then do check out the Sky News Press Preview at around midnightthirty. Most weeks on that particular shift, they have Andrew Pierce of the Daily Mail and Kevin Maguire from the Daily Mirror paired together for a superior knockabout double act where they just seem to disagree on everything, but it’s never malicious as they clearly get on well personally.

It’s a great way to get you giggling along the way to your duvet, and far more entertaining than the old bores wheeled out on the BBC News Channel.

36

The Courier Friday TV

March 2

00:35 This Week 01:20 Weatherview 01:25 Panorama 01:55 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 02:40 Accused 03:40 Countryfile 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 A Picture of Health 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Doorstep Crime 999 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 Wingin' It 16:55 Deadly Art 17:15 OOglies 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 00:50 01:20 02:20 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:40 05:00 05:30 06:00 06:30

On Hannibal's Trail On Hannibal's Trail The Tube Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close E20 E20 Strictly Soulmates How to Write

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Everything's Rosie 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Guess with Jess 10:45 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Animal Park 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Mastermind 22:00 Melvyn Bragg on Class & Culture 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Jonathan Ross Show 01:35 Take Me Out 02:35 The Zone 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Safari Vet School 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Lethal Weapon

COME DINE WITH ME Four British expats compete for the ÂŁ1,000 prize on the Costa del Sol. Fun-loving Welsh emigrant Kate Forrest, gardening guru Ben Knight, bus driver Tony Reddin and straight-talking Marilyn Bevins take turns hosting dinner parties featuring unusual food, shameless name-dropping and a near-disaster.

00:05 Coppers 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Proud and Prejudiced 02:15 Soft 02:30 The World's Most Identical Twins and Me 03:25 Slow Joe 03:30 The Bible: A History 04:25 Time Team 05:20 Atlantic 05:30 Brothers & Sisters 06:10 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Three in a Bed 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 13:30 Objective, Burma!

16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 4thought.tv 20:35 Come Dine with Me 21:30 New Girl 22:00 The Bank Job 23:00 The Mad Bad Ad Show 23:50 Rude Tube

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:05 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Perfect Romance 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

37

The Courier Saturday TV

March 3

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The Haunting 02:15 Weatherview 02:20 Question Time 03:20 Bees, Butterflies and Blooms 04:20 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 05:05 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 Swimming 15:00 The Haunted Mansion 16:20 Winter Wipeout 17:20 Final Score 18:15 A Question of Sport 18:45 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:05 Pointless Celebrities 20:00 Let's Dance for Sport Relief 21:20 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 22:10 Casualty 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 National Lottery Update 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 00:45 00:50 02:30 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45

The Review Show Weather Hard Candy The Culture Show The Record Europe BBC News Click Newswatch

05:00 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 05:50 Close 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 Ultimate Sports Day 10:30 Blue Peter 11:00 My Life 11:30 Trapped 12:00 Hacker Time 12:30 The Ministry of Curious Stuff 13:00 MOTD Kickabout 13:15 The Fox and the Child 14:45 McLintock!

16:50 Birds Britannia 17:50 Escape to the Country 18:50 Flog It! 19:50 Dad's Army 20:20 The Story of Light Entertainment 21:20 The Story of Musicals 22:20 I'm in a Girl Group!

23:20 TOTP2

01:35 The Zone 03:40 Half Light 05:30 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 This Morning: Saturday 13:20 Murder, She Wrote 14:20 ITV News and Weather 14:29 Meridian Weather 14:30 The Jewel of the Nile 16:30 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 18:35 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:05 All Star Family Fortunes 20:05 All New You've Been Framed!

20:35 Harry Hill's TV Burp 21:05 Take Me Out 22:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:34 Meridian Weather 23:35 Wanted

OBSESSIVE COMPLUSIVE HOARDER Documentary profiling Richard Wallace, whose ÂŁ1million property in the Surrey village of Westcott is so filled with newspapers and other household items that it takes him 40 minutes to get from the front door to the chair he eats and sleeps in. His garden is also filled with tons of refuse so old it has become overgrown, and his hoarding has reached a point where it not only infuriates his neighbours, but also threatens his health and physical safety.

00:50 10 O'Clock Live 01:45 Election 03:25 Random Acts 03:30 My Name Is Earl 04:15 Hung 04:45 Hung 05:10 The Lobster Club 05:20 Brothers & Sisters 06:00 Paraphernalia 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 08:30 FIM Superbike World Championship 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everyone's Talking About Top 10 10:25 NME Awards 2012 11:00 Playing It Straight 12:00 New Girl 12:30 The Simpsons 13:00 Charlie's Angels 14:00 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:10 4thought.tv 20:15 Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder 21:10 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 22:10 The Bank Job 23:10 The Happening

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 HouseBusters 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 City of Friends 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Igam Ogam 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Family!

08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Megastructures: Europe's Super Port 12:00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol 13:00 The Dirty Dozen 15:50 Capricorn One 18:15 Hell Boats 20:00 5 News Weekend 20:05 NCIS 21:00 NCIS 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY

38

The Courier Sunday TV

March 4

01:50 Factotum (A Man Who Preforms Many Jobs) 03:20 Close 00:40 The Football League Show 01:35 The Zone 07:00 Little Robots 01:55 Weatherview 04:00 In Plain Sight 07:10 Zigby 02:00 BBC News 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Mini CITV 07:20 Garth and Bev 02:30 The Bottom Line 08:25 CITV 07:35 Octonauts 03:00 BBC News 10:25 ITV News 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 03:30 Dateline London 08:00 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 10:30 Ade in Britain 04:00 BBC News 11:30 May the Best House Win 04:30 Victoria Derbyshire Interviews 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 12:30 Dickinson's Real Deal 08:40 The Owl 05:00 BBC News 13:30 ITV News and Weather 09:05 Paradise Cafe 05:30 Click 13:34 Meridian Weather 09:30 Wingin' It 06:00 BBC News 13:35 Murder, She Wrote 10:00 Friday Download 06:30 The Record Europe 14:40 Columbo Cries Wolf 11:00 Something for the Weekend 07:00 Breakfast 16:40 Midsomer Murders 12:30 Escape to the Country 08:35 Match of the Day 18:35 Meridian News and Weather 13:30 EastEnders 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 18:50 ITV News and Weather 15:20 Hidalgo 11:00 The Big Questions 19:05 Harry Hill's TV Burp 17:25 Death Defying Acts 12:00 Bargain Hunt 19:35 Dancing on Ice 19:00 I'm in a Girl Group!

12:30 Sunday Politics 21:30 Wild at Heart 20:00 World's Most Dangerous Roads 13:30 Match of the Day Live 22:30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off 15:45 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 21:00 Top Gear 23:00 That Sunday Night Show 22:00 Orbit: Earth's Extraordinary 18:10 Songs of Praise 23:30 ITV News and Weather Journey 18:45 Land Girls 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:00 Match of the Day 2 19:35 BBC News; Regional News 23:45 Whitechapel and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Upstairs Downstairs New series. Kate Humble and Dr Helen Czerski exam23:00 BBC News; Regional News ine the Earth's annual trip around the sun to show the and Weather effect it has on the planet, including its influence on the 23:25 Room 101 - Extra Storage weather and the tides. The first episode covers the peri-

ORBIT: EARTH’S EXTRAORDINARY JOURNEY

00:20 Son of Rambow

od from July to the winter solstice in December, with Helen leaping from an aeroplane and Kate briefly becoming the fastest driver in the world to demonstrate the consequences of the orbit on Earth's inhabitants.

00:55 02:25 04:05 04:10 04:55 05:40 06:20 07:05 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:30 08:55 09:00 11:35 12:10 12:45 13:20 15:35 17:20 18:20 19:25 19:55 20:00 20:05 21:00 22:00 23:00

The NME Awards 2012 Melinda and Melinda Blowing It Brothers & Sisters Reaper 90210 Countdown Channel 4 Presents The Hoobs The Hoobs That Paralympic Show Sailing Channel 4 Presents Hollyoaks The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Alaska Alvin and the Chipmunks Deal or No Deal Time Team Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Political Slot Home of the Future War Horse: The Real Story Homeland Inglourious Basterds

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:50 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:25 Nick's Quest 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:40 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family!

08:35 Make Way for Noddy 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 Grey's Anatomy 12:15 Cowboy Builders 13:15 DARYL 15:10 Dragonslayer 17:15 Gremlins 2: the New Batch 19:10 The Da Vinci Code 21:55 5 News 22:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 23:00 The Exorcism of Emily Rose

39

The Courier Monday TV

March 5

00:05 Would I Lie to You? 00:35 The Sky at Night 01:15 The Apprentice USA 02:40 Weatherview 02:45 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 03:25 Holby City 04:25 The Borrowers 05:55 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Postcode Lottery 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Missing 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:30 Wingin' It 16:55 OOglies 17:15 Deadly Art 17:30 The Owl 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Empire 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:15 01:45 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 05:55

QPR: The Four Year Plan Reporters Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday HARDtalk Close

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:45 Small Potatoes 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:20 Press for Time 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 This World 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff 22:00 The Tube 23:00 Watson & Oliver 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 Premiership Rugby Union 01:35 ITV News Headlines 03:35 River Monsters 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Whitechapel 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Agenda

EMBARRASSING BODIES New series. Dr Dawn Harper heads to Thailand with new recruit Dr James Logan, who infests himself with a parasitic hookworm as he investigates the ailments Britons could catch in the country. Back in the UK, Dr Pixie McKenna meets a woman with an addiction to coffee enemas, and Dr Christian Jessen advises a patient who has had breast enhancement surgery.

02:00 The Machinist 03:45 The Astronomer's Sun 03:55 The Big Bang Theory 04:15 The Big Bang Theory 04:40 The Big Bang Theory 05:00 Reaper 05:40 90210 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:45 The Cowboys 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 SuperScrimpers 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Out on a Limo

01:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 02:15 SuperCasino 04:50 County Secrets 05:05 The FBI Files 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:10 The Boy She Met Online 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Stansted: The Inside Story 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan 23:00 Untraceable

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

March 6

00:05 Late Kick Off 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 The Apprentice USA 02:45 Weatherview 02:50 Great British Food Revival 03:50 Accused 04:50 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 05:35 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Postcode Lottery 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Missing 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:30 Wingin' It 16:55 Diddy Dick & Dom 17:15 Deadly Art 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Prisoners' Wives 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Racing with the Hamiltons: Nic in

00:20 01:05 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:15 05:00 06:00 07:00

Three Men Go to Ireland BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday The Super League Show True Stories True Stories Little Robots

07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Uki 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:05 Coast 14:25 The Early Bird 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 21:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 That Sunday Night Show 00:40 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 01:35 The Zone 01:35 ITV News Headlines 03:40 Champions League Weekly 04:05 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live FA Cup Football 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Benidorm

HORIZON Scientists predict this year will see a fit of violent activity on the sun which will propel billions of tonnes of superheated gas and pulses of energy towards Earth.

In 1989 one of these solar storms, which has the power to close down modern technology, cut off the power to the Canadian city of Quebec. Horizon meets the weathermen as they try to predict what's coming and organisations like the National Grid as they prepare for the cosmic tempest.

00:05 Keith Allen Meets Nick Griffin 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Homeland 02:10 Shameless 03:05 A1 Cabs 03:30 Home Road Movies 03:45 Home of the Future 04:40 Reasons to Be Cheerful 04:50 Chrono-Perambulator 05:00 Birth of Britain 05:55 Time Team 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 The Hoobs 07:55 Channel 4 Presents 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 River Cottage 13:50 Gunfight at the OK Corral 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 23:00 Shameless

01:00 Soho Blues 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ultimate Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 Torn Apart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21:00 Revealed 22:00 Body of Proof 23:00 CSI: NY

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

March 7

00:30 Who Do You Think You Are? US 01:15 The Apprentice USA 02:35 Weatherview 02:40 Worried About the Boy 04:10 An Island Parish 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Postcode Lottery 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Missing 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:30 Wingin' It 16:55 Diddy Dick & Dom 17:15 Deadly Art 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery 23:45 Kevin Bridges What's the Story?

00:20 01:55 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:40 05:00 05:30 06:00 06:30

Rubicon HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close Curious Cat William Whiskerson Stargazing Challenges Little Stargazing

07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Harry and Toto's World of Opposites 10:45 Small Potatoes 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Just My Luck 15:55 Escape to the Country 16:40 Flog It! 17:25 Perfection 18:10 Antiques Road Trip 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 Escape to the Country 20:30 Watson & Oliver 21:00 The Fisherman's Apprentice with Monty Halls 22:00 Wonderland 23:00 Roger & Val Have Just Got In 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:35 The Cube 01:35 ITV News Headlines 01:35 The Zone 04:00 Crossing Jordan 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

BIG BODY SQUAD Eighty-year-old Doreen needs taking to hospital, but she weighs 20 stone, is frail and in pain. Enter a highly specialised unit of experts, using hoists and other equipment, to help her through this potentially frightening and distressing journey. The documentary also meets 30st Barry, who may lose his infected foot because his diabetes has caused a loss of feeling, and 48st Brenda, whose lack of mobility means she has to be visited at home by a healthcare team, including a local dentist.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Desperate Housewives 01:10 Poker 02:10 Sailing 02:35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:00 Late Night Poker 03:55 That Paralympic Show 04:25 Paralympic Wheelchair Rugby GB Cup 2011 05:20 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 06:15 Full Metal Challenge 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:45 Edge of Darkness 16:05 Channel 4 Presents 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Gok Wan: Made in China 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 10 O'Clock Live 23:55 The Mad Bad Ad Show

00:00 CSI: Miami 01:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ultimate Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Flood: a River's Rampage 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Big Body Squad 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

42

The Courier Thursday TV

March 8

00:15 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 00:55 The Apprentice USA 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 See Hear 02:55 Upstairs Downstairs 03:55 How to Grow a Planet 04:55 An Island Parish 05:25 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Postcode Lottery 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Missing 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:30 Lockie Leonard 16:55 OOglies 17:15 Deadly Art 17:30 Leonardo 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 The Great British Countryside 22:00 David Walliams' Big Swim: A Sport Relief Special 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 Storyville 01:50 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Making Media 05:30 Mud, Sweat & Tractors: The Story of Agriculture

06:00 Acting Around Words 06:30 Creative Arts 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Zigby 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Uki 10:50 Louie 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:30 Up in the World 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 My Life in Books 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Natural World 22:00 White Heat 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Kidnap and Ransom 01:25 The Zone 01:25 ITV News Headlines 03:30 Maverick 05:35 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Kidnap and Ransom 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

WHITE HEAT New series. Drama charting the lives of seven friends from their days as students in the 1960s through to the present day. Charlotte arrives at the flat she used to share with her friends, one of whom has recently died there. As she begins to sort through the belongings, old memories start flooding back. It is 1965 and the world is changing as seven undergraduates move in together, full of youthful expectation, and embark upon a journey of discovery, love and betrayal. Claire Foy stars as the young Charlotte, with Juliet Stevenson, Lindsay Duncan, Sam Claflin and MyAnna Buring.

00:45 Random Acts 00:50 360 Sessions 01:25 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 01:40 Black Cab Sessions 02:10 Curated by Lyle and Scott 02:25 4Play: These Furrows 02:35 Live from Abbey Road 03:20 Romy and Michele's High School Reunion 04:55 90210 05:35 Reaper 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 River Cottage 13:55 A Room with a View 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Make Bradford British 23:00 Our Man In

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:00 Poker: The Big Game 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Emergency Bikers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Wedding Daze 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Holiday Heaven on Earth 20:30 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:15 Mercenary for Justice

43

Friday, March 2, 2012 Call us now on 966 923 963, and we will call you back with your quote.

Caser Health Care .

AWNINGS

ACCOMMODATION Small, economic family run hotel, situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35€ per room, per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations.

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT

ACCOUNTANTS Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am.

Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

CHURCH SERVICES Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further

AIR CONDITIONING

Ford Fusion 1.6+ 5 door, 2005 only 49,000 kms, FSH, alloys, a/c rear privacy glass, CD, front fogs and much more, metallic silver grey beautiful condition 5950 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR RENT

INSURANCE

information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Try Professional Business Support for your quick quote for car insurance.

Excellent prices for expats, all policies available in English or German. We will call you back with a price. 966 923 963 FWR Eurocars Spain SL have over 75 LHD & RHD vehicles FOR SALE or EXCHANGE Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

For all your insurance needs, ie.home, car, health, funeral, travel, etc Excellent cover from Spain´s 5th biggest insurance company, “CASER”.

Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from a real person/our friendly staff.

MEDICAL Make the most of private health care and private hospitals, we have great cover and a two tier pricing system to suit your age and pocket. All policies in English, many English speaking doctors or free translators at your service.

Ref. 91, This lovely one bedroom apartment is on the fifth (top) floor of block one of the Miramar development - but don't worry about climbing the stairs, as there is a lift! A parking space is included in the key operated underground garage. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

BOILERS

AUTO ELECTRICIAN

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars.

Short term only. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive.

Long term or Short term available. €795PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. €300PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. €425PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis.

The property has a balcony which has been

glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. €250PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 702, A lovely 2 bedroom apartment in a quiet area of Torrevieja yet within walking distance to local beaches and amenities.

It’s also less than an hour’s drive from both Alicante and Murcia San Javier Airports. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 135, An outstanding two bedroom villa with one double and one twin room on the VillaMartin golf complex. There is a very pleasant terrace off the main bedroom and from the sun terrace on the roof the views are excellent. €400PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 04, A 2 bedroom apartment one street back from the famous Cabo Roig strip. There is a selection of local shops, restaurants and bars on the doorstep with the shopping strip only 400 metres away. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 92, A lovely three bedroom apartment on the ground floor of block one of the Miramar developments. A small balcony runs the width of the lounge area above the small private garden area at the front of the property. €450PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 104, Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance to the Friday Market, Town Centre and the beach. Close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. €350PCM Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

MOBILE GARAGE SERVICES

HEARING AIDS

BLINDS / AWNINGS

CCTV

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

COMPUTERS

44

Friday, March 2, 2012

Ref. 151, Beautiful Family 3 Bedroom Villa. Well equipped American kitchen, double bedroom and bathroom. A further 2 bedrooms, bathroom, large terrace with sun loungers, table and chairs, bbq, and beautiful sea view. Short or long term rental available. €P.O.A.Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Detached villa with large oasis pool. Situated on first

Urb. In Gran Alacant.

500m2 plot, electric gates, alarmed 3 beds, 3 baths, fully furnished. Recently reduced for a quick sale Now only 260.000 euros Call 680 333 242 quoting ref 33 Altomar II in Gran Alacant Investment opportunity…

82.000 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, lounge diner, ind.

Kitchen, Glazed in Galleria, S/Facing, extra storage Fully furnished, Private parking, Com pools Ring 627 711 155 to view.

Duplex in Monte y Mar, GA 2 Bed, 1 Bath, ground floor with views Fully furnished, A/Con, Heating, Ceiling Fans, English TV, garden, Communal pool, for apt please call 966 699 136 to view only 115.000 ono REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated park-

CREATIVE CONCRETE

ing, walking distance to Shops bars restaurants etc. 627 711 155 Calling all serious Buyers.

I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant.

Everything included in price, fantastic Alicante/sea views. As a starting price I am looking in the region of 265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242 Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished.

Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing.

Lovely well maintained terraced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to

shops, bars restaurants.

Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve.

Private parking, call 680 333 242 for more details.

133.000 euros Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbanisation Please ring 966 699 136 after 6pm (english & spanish spoken) Now only 125.000 euros excellent value in Gran Alacant.

Quick sale needed.

199.000 euros ono Detached property in Puerto Marina. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, Immaculately furnished Alarmed, Central heating, Log fire, Hot & Cold air con, open fields to the rear, Private parking, Communal pools.

966.699.478 after 5 pm.

Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant 209,000 euros 3 Double bedrooms with fitted

wardrobes 2 bathrooms, spacious kitchen with galleria Lounge complete with chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private Parking. A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2

EXPAT SERVICES

DAMP PROOFING

HAIR DRESSING

DANCE CLASSES

FISHING

GLASS CURTAINS

FAST BROADBAND GARDENING

ELECTRICIAN

built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire, Under build, Alarmed, Mature Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates. 260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken.

Walking distance to all local amenities in GA Detached Villa with large pool. Decoratively tiled Garden, complete with BBQ. Est. palm & fruit trees. 3 bed, 3 bath, Fully Furnished including all electrical appliances.

Quick sale needed, 270.000 euros, but very negotiable. For appointment to view call 966 699 478 after 5pm Top floor duplex in Puerto Marina, G/Alacant 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, glazed-in porch, large roof-top solarium with views, Top quality furniture and appliances included. Secure private parking, communal pools, 108,000 euros. If you would like to view call 627 711 155 for an immediate appointment.

NEWS AGENTS

DOMESTIC SHUTTERS

PETS

SECURITY PLUMBERS

LOCKSMITH

SEWING

45

Friday, March 2, 2012

LIMITED EDITION One of only a few bungalows in Gran Alacant. Top of the range furniture and appliances included. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large kitchen, leading to galleria, huge roof top solarium with fantastic views of Alicante and mountains. Electronic gates leading to garage, 500m2 plot, 10x5 pool with irrigated gardens By appointment only, ring 680333242 325.000 ono Large family Home in Izla de Izaro, G.A (bajo) 4 bed, 3 bath, stunning communal pool with Jacuzzi & water features. Children’s play area and fantastic communal gardens. Very high standard throughout, Large converted under build & garage, elec.

Gates Alarmed, A/con, outside kitchen and bathroom, 399.000 ono. To view call 966699136 after 5pm.

Monte Y Mar - Gran Alacant Detached Villa with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge-diner, front porch, Large solarium with views. 400m2 plot Low maintenance irrigated gardens, Private pool & Parking. Tastefully fur-

nished throughout and everything included.

Recently Reduced to 239.000 euros. For more details call 627.711.155 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680

STORAGE

333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188

or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming

RECYCLING CLOTHES

pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace.

This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 For Sale. Quick sale. 3 bed town house. 1 1/2 bath,

solarium, air-con, com pool, car space, Price €75.000 Phone 650 580 639 / 670 450 843 (54)

SOLICITORS Need English Speaking Solicitors in Torrevieja?

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46

Friday, March 2, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

FORE, THERE’S A BOMB COMING! PRE FLIGHT CHECK

YOU have to admit that when it comes to golf the British golfer has an extreme amount of spirit and willpower, no matter what the conditions. Yet when expats in Spain sense the slightest hint of rain, then it’s hot foot to the 19th Hole!

However, in war-torn Britain in the 1940s, it was somewhat different. In those days, golfers really had guts!

German aircraft from Norway would fly on missions to northern England; because of the icy weather conditions, the barrels of their guns had a small dab of wax to protect them. As they crossed the coast, they would clear their guns by firing a few rounds at the golf courses, where players were urged to take cover.

British unflappability was never better illustrated than by the following notice.

Shorter drives, like many problems in the golf swing can originate from faulty basics.

Here are two tips that you should pay attention to, particularly if you are losing yards off the tee.

THE GRIP

As soon as you decide to unleash a big one, the first thing you tend to do is grip the club tighter. Strangling the club actually decreases the chances of hitting a big drive as it tenses up your muscles, making them more rigid and less fluid.

Relax your grip and you will relax your muscles so that they will work quicker and more powerfully.

THE STANCE

RICHMOND GOLF CLUB Temporary Rules, 1941

ing damage to the mowing machines.

1. Players are asked to 2. In competitions, during collect bomb and shrapnel gunfire or while bombs are splinters to save these caus-

TITTER ON THE TEE

falling, players may take shelter without penalty for ceasing play.

3. The position of known delayed-action bombs are marked by red flags at a reasonable, but not guaranteed, safe distance there from.

4. Shrapnel and/or bomb splinters on the fairways or in bunkers, within a club's length of a ball, may be moved without penalty, and

no penalty shall be incurred if a ball is thereby caused to move accidentally.

5. A ball moved by enemy action may be replaced or, if lost or destroyed, a ball may be dropped not nearer the hole without penalty.

6. A ball lying in a crater may be lifted and dropped not nearer the hole, preserving the line to the hole, without penalty.

7. A player whose stroke is affected by the simultaneous explosion of a bomb may play another ball. Penalty one stroke.

Rule 7 is a bit harsh, you are on your backswing and a bomb goes off, causing you to duff your shot - but you can play another ball from the same spot with a one stroke penalty! “Where’s the nearest air raid shelter?”

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry!

I have two mates sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anaesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10am tee time at the best golf course in the area and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!"

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist ask him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

Ask yourself why you play golf? Ask yourself which shots The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth you talk about in the 19th? It’s not the lay up on the 5th. It’s darling, and show him." not that chip to six inches on the 9th.

No! It’s the 300-yard drive that carried the corner and left you a wedge in.

We all love a big hit – yes it’s the reason we play.

TAKE A TIP from Ivie INSTANT POWER FOR LONG DRIVING

WHERE DOES POWER COME FROM? The source of power is simple. The faster your club head is travelling as it makes contact with the ball – the further the ball will travel. Increase that magical club head speed and it will increase the power off the tee. The following tips, hints and advice should help to crank up that all important club head speed.

When you make a powerful; swing, you want to hit the ball in the “up” part of the swing to launch it into orbit.

Taking an address position that mirrors the point of impact, you increase your chances of making a powerful strike.

Angle your spine away from the target at address, so that it is behind the ball. This will make your right shoulder sit lower than your left – most touring pro’s create a 30° angle between their left and right shoulder.

THREE INSTANT POWER TIPS

Try any of all these instant power tips and you will add yard’s to your game. They are simple to use, easy to understand and a must for getting that extra power from your swing.

1. TEE IT HIGH – LET IT FLY

A common myth is that a ball travels further the lower you tee the ball up. This is wrong.

Modern drivers are designed to launch a ball high into the air, cracking it miles down the fairway. That low penetrating flight lifts at the end, dropping softly is so old fashioned. To help make best use of your 460cc driver tee the ball high so that the half of the ball is above the top edge of the driver.

2. LEFT FOOT UP

None of us are as flexible as the top golfers. Flexibility is the key for power and the reason that small players can hit it a long way.

The more that you can turn your shoulders, the further you will hit the ball. To help with this turn, don’t be afraid to let your left heel come off the ground at the top of the back swing, it’ll increase your shoulder turn that builds up the club head speed.

QUICK TIPS

HEAVY BREATHING When you are tense, whether it’s because of the match situation or you’re winding up for a big one, your breathing quickens, tightening your muscles. Release this tension by breathing out slowly through the whole swing. Start to blow out harder and faster in your downswing and you’ll stay relaxed and accelerate powerfully through the ball.

DON’T STOP MOVING To stay relaxed and poised before you pull the trigger, add waggles to your pre-shot routine. You do not see Tennis players standing still before returning serve, they are on their toes. Golfers need to add this to their game, keeping loose and relaxed through waggles and movement. Hovering the club over the ball before swinging.

POWER REMINDER • Hold the club loosely • Relax all muscles • Angle Spine from the target • Hover and Waggle the club head • Tee it High – Let it Fly • Lift the Heel at the top NOW FEEL THE POWER

47

Friday, March 2, 2012

Connor can trigger Wolves gold strike TERRY Connor has the chance to break the mould with Wolves - the managerial merry-go-round mould, that is.

Most people - myself included - did not give the former Leeds striker a moggie's chance in the hot place when he was appointed successor to Mick McCarthy at Molineux.

But a draw at Newcastle after trailing 2-0 in his first game wasn't a bad start and I for one hope he not only keeps his job but keeps Wolves in the Premier League, too.

OK, the two go hand in hand I know, but I am heartily sick of the same old faces swapping places in the "sack and rule" game our managers and clubs seem to play.

The top hat was put on it when Neil Warnock took the Leeds job and then promptly announced he was going to retire -

albeit in another year or so, May 2013 to be exact. Unlucky for some, but lucky for football in general I can hear a lot of the old school say as they look forward to the irksome Neil's departure for good.

However, Simon Grayson taking over from Lee Clark at Huddersfield after departing Leeds, and talk of former Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez coming in at Chelsea if Andre Villas Boas gets the boot, is just the same old faces replacing the same old faces.

Granted, AVB was a new boy on the English scene and as most people know, the Brits don't like change - especially if it falls short!

Well, I am 56, have lived in Britain virtually

ORI WAILER! Depleted side are no match for Albacete

ITV Orihuela RFC went to Albacete hoping to keep their rich vein of form going, even with a much depleted squad . But their makeshift team of 11 men and three juveniles were always facing an uphill battle.

The 14 players included two coaches with lots of experience to help the younger players - and Orihuela managed to hold their own up front against Albacete’s far heavier scrum. But the young inexperienced travellers still found themselves 12-0

down after only a quarter of an hour.

Not disheartened, Orihuela pulled a try back through Pablo, of the juveniles, against the run of play, to reduce the half-time deficit to 19-7.

In the second half, Albecete brought on new legs and simply out muscled the young Orihuela team.

They soon got the bonus point try, but Orihuela had their say with another try and conversion of their own, bringing leaving the final score at 41-14.

Despite the defeat, the Orihuela players can be proud that they kept the scoreline within reason and also came away two tries of their own. And the less said about the ref the better.

The juveniles fared similarly to the senior side, losing 37-11.

The support being given to the rugby club and Butterfly Children is very much appreciated. We hope to see everyone down at the rugby bar over the weekend and at the next ITV Orihuela home match against Torrevieja in two weeks time.

The new rugby union supporters bar and club at the Steak House in Rojales, will be showing the rescheduled France v Ireland match on Sunday, and also Rabodirect and Aviva games over the weekend. So please bring your friends along and help to build the atmosphere with a full house turnout.

The club train on Tuesday and Thursday at Miguel Hernandez University.

Further details from Garry on 692 767 242

all my life and I welcome anyone into a job in England as long as they can do it. And if

they do it well, they can stay as long as they want!

Isn't that right, Sir Alex?

Now Terry Connor probably won't last two minutes, but Steve Kean has almost broken that mould already at Blackburn Rovers. He has withstood tremendous flak from day one and is still in charge, albeit of another team still in mortal danger of the big drop from Premier League to Championship.

But he has gained a lot of respect, and a win at Manchester United on New Year's Eve, so I tip him to get another job at a fairly high level if the worst does happen.

I just want to see rid of the old guard and the old ways - and while we are on the subject, get a move on you FA wallers and appoint Harry Redknapp NOW! Give him time to sort things before the Euros and then you might just hear the unthinkable. Namely people saying: "My goodness, the FA have NOT cocked up again!

EDU IS TOPS AS MONTE STAY IN THE HOT SEAT CD MONTESINOS 1 GRUPO CALICHE 0

ON a perfect afternoon for football at the Campo Municipal, CD Montesinos stayed top of the division with a narrow home win against a much improved Grupo Caliche side.

Juanpe, the Monte manager, had most of his players back after injury and suspension.

Even so, three were carrying injuries into the game, but given the importance of the contest at hand, all were needed.

After a dull first 45 minutes, Monte created

JOY BOYS: Montesinos players go flat out to celebrate Edu’s winner

more chances in the first 10 minutes of the second half than they had in the whole of the first.

At last, the 300 or so in the crowd had something to get excited about - and the only goal of the game duly came after 20 minutes of the second half. Some good play down the right wing ended with Edu, the club’s top scorer, slotting his effort past Escudero in the Caliche goal, at the second attempt.

Cue much celebration both on and off the pitch.

Monte did have further chances, especially through Vazquinho, Macan and Edu, but due to poor finishing and some good goalkeeping, Edu’s goal was all they had to show for their hard work.

With nine games left, CD Montesinos are still top of the table. Only the champions from each of the 17 groups are guaranteed promotion, although the top seven secondplaced sides will join them at the next level Next week, CD Montesinos are away at Orihuela Costa, day and kick off time to be confirmed. For further info, check out www.cdmontesinos.com or e-mail thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or telephone 637 869 602.

In association with CajaMurcia

48

Friday, March 2, 2012

DUTCH AND GO Pearce kids spark hope in defeat

ENGLAND can take heart from their narrow defeat by Holland in Wednesday night's friendly as they prepare for the European Championship finals.

Injuries forced caretaker manager Stuart Pearce's hand somewhat but he was always going to experiment and his readiness to throw in the youngsters augurs well for the future.

His experience as Under 21 manager was reflected in the average age of the side, which started at 26 and rapidly plunged to 24 or below as he sent on the likes of Fraizer Campbell, Daniel Sturridge to compete against Holland's seasoned side.

They almost pulled it off, too. After going behind to two strikes from the ageless Arjen Robben and Klaus Jan Huntelaar around the hour mark, they made a great late comeback with goals from Gary Cahill and Ashley Young - only to be pipped at the post by Robben's second two minutes into stoppage time.

But with the likes of Wesley Sneijder, Robin Van Persie and Dirk Kuyt up against them, it will do wonders for the young players' confidence as they push

STEVE BOTT reports

for places in the Euros.

Scott Parker was handed the captain's armband, completing his transition from nearly man to full blown Premier League and England status. And he did well, leading by example with a typically gritty and forceful show in midfield. So much so that it is worth noting that England's revival occurred after most people's choice for skipper, Steven Gerrard, had left the field in a precautionary move with his club's big Anfield date against Arsenal coming up at lunchtime tomorrow..

Sturridge won the England man of the match award but it could have gone to several others as Cahill, Micah Richards and Adam Johnson also caught the eye.

With doubts beginning to arise over Harry Redknapp's appointment as the FA officials continue to procrastinate, Pearce showed he is eager to fill the breach. And his demeanour during the match reflected his ambition as he remained calm and focussed throughout, refusing to get carried away even after that impressive comeback.

If Spurs let him go Harry will almost certainly get the job but he will do well to keep Pearce by his side if he is the one chosen to lead England into the Euros and a bid to win a major tournament for the first time in 46 years.

Added to the fact that England performed as well as they did without their leading light Wayne Rooney, it can only help their cause as they search for that winning formula. Granted, they did fall down when it came to the number of clear cut chances created as they stuck to a 4-5-1 formation even after Sturridge and Theo Walcott were thrown into the fray. But for a first effort by the youngsters it wasn't a bad one at all.

Much was made of the fact that England's group opponents in the Euros - France, Sweden and the Ukraine - all won their friendlies away from home. But if they can play like that against Holland then I am sure they can do the same and better against those other three.

Gerrard, Ashley Young, Gareth Barry and Joe Hart apart, it was almost a totally new-look England and while several of the older guard are bound to return it is looking good squad wise and the emphatic 4-0 victory by the Under 21s against Belgium on the same night underlines that and also reflects well on Pearce.

Let's just hope England can progress a little further than normal - and there were, as they say, many positives to be taken from this latest performance coming on the back of good displays against two more quality opponents in Spain and Sweden.