The Courier Week 56

Edition 56

www.thecourier.es

Friday, March 16, 2012

Our latest issue is always online at www.thecourier.es

NO FLY ZONE

By AMANDA BLACK and SALLY BENGTSSON CORVERA Airport’s opening is facing a new delay - but officials insist it WON’T become another of Spain’s ghost terminals.

The opening of the beleaguered multimillion euro facility has again been put back, igniting fears that it will become just one more symbol of the reckless public spending that has left Spain crippled by debt.

Despite an official opening date of July, officials have now admitted that departure boards are likely to remain blank at least until the autumn, with the latest delay being blamed on the change of government.

But as the airport continues to wait for permits and licences, there are rumours of other problems – including cracks in the building due to land moveinauguration a year ago, and ment and disagreements Ciudad Real’s Central airport with airlines.

The delays are enough to with its terminal designed to make some nervous that handle 2.5 million passenCorvera will join the ranks of gers eerily empty – and Spain’s ‘ghost airports’ such barely a handful of flights as Castellon, which has not each week.

Castellon’s €150 million seen a single plane since its

Fears grow for Corvera as opening is delayed again airport failed to secure an operating licence and last month its runway was declared too narrow by the State Agency for Air Security.

Few thought the airport even necessary. It was launched on the promise of

future local theme parks that have yet to materialise – a worryingly familiar story.

Ciudad Real’s Central airport was planned as a satellite airport for Madrid, but critics say it was never viable, too far from the capital to

serve any real purpose.

Critics of Corvera have asked why Murcia has built a second airport just half an hour from a perfectly good old one at San Javier.

After a battle between the two airports, regional and central government struck a deal to close San Javier to commercial passengers and give Corvera, which received millions in public funding, a chance to succeed.

Those involved with

Death crash driver and the DVD

THE Swiss death crash bus driver was helping change the disc in the coach's DVD player moments before the horrific smash, it was claimed yesterday (Thursday).

Child survivors have reportedly been telling hospital staff the driver — who was killed instantly — was handling a DVD.

According to The Sun, investigators have also been told kids saw teacher Frank van Kerckhove, 40, standing in the aisle putting on the DVD. It comes after a photo emerged of smiling children from a class doomed to terrifying carnage in the ski trip coach crash.

Several of the pupils in the picture are believed to be among 28 youngsters and adults killed in the Swiss Alps tragedy.

An unknown number of others were among 24 injured when a bus carrying a school party hit a wall inside a tunnel — thought to be the worst road accident in

Swiss history.

Many of the Year 7 children, all aged 11 or 12, were on their way back to schools in two small towns in Belgium when the horror happened on Tuesday night.

Of the 52 people aboard, 22 children, two drivers and four

Turn to Page 3

Corvera insist it will definitely open later this year, with demand from passengers.

Once San Javier closes, they say, Corvera will pick up the 1,200,000 travellers who use San Javier annually. And it is argued when the Paramount theme park opens, Corvera will really take off. But the park is a long way off and in these times, nothing is certain.

The closure of San Javier and proposed move inland is not popular with passengers, most of whom travel to coastal resorts. Many may find Alicante more convenient than Corvera.

This would be good news for Alicante’s controversial new terminal – another expensive half-empty airport building project that many argue should never have seen a brick laid.

But it could yet see Corvera joining the ranks of Spain’s ghost airports.

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Looks like it’s kicking off - but we can be sole mates TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

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Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003

Bad mews, good news as chimney cat is saved EIGHT fire fighters and two policemen rushed to rescue a cat stuck in a chimney in Cabo Roig on Tuesday morning.

For days, local residents listened to the cat’s distressed meows coming from a derelict Aquagest pumping station, but were unable to reach the marooned moggy.

Eventually a call to the emergency services by animal charity the Brigada Azul saw the crack cat rescue squad of bomberos and police arrive.

And a fireman climbed down inside the disused chimney to haul out the terrified black and white feral cat, which was set free after recovering from its ordeal. lWE’RE looking for quality photos of Cabo Roig’s St Patrick’s Day parade tomorrow - and we’ll publish the best.

Email your pictures to office@thecourier.es

GHOST FINDS NEW HAUNT

Exorcism ends Ian’s finca nightmare

By DONNA GEE THE bizarre events that convinced tormented expat Ian Vert his home was haunted have stopped - thanks to a religious exorcism.

Expat Ian believes the ‘ghost’ attached itself to him during a car journey from Alicante Airport to Jacarilla where he lives in a rural finca - in early January.

The driver, fellow expat Mike Sweeney, had been telling Ian, 61, about ‘happenings’ in the haunted house he rented - and showed Ian some pictures of shadowy presences.

Subsequently, Ian’s home also became affected by poltergeist activity - culminating in a dinner plate lifting off the table by itself, witnessed by both Ian and his partner Shelley, then. It then tipped

The Courier, Issue 52 upside down and crashed to the floor.

Ian told me: “I have always been very sceptical about the existence of ghosts and I told Mike as I got out of the car, that it was all very interesting – but I didn’t believe in that sort of thing. ‘’I am convinced that the poltergeist, or whatever it is, decided at that moment, ‘OK, I’ll show him’ – because Mike had no problems since

Friday Sunny High 17° Low 8° Chance of rain 1% Monday Sunny High 16° Low 8° Chance of rain 1%

Tuesday Sunny High 15° Low 9° Chance of rain 1%

that day, while weird things began to happening at my place.’’

The problems went on for several weeks - with one medium voluntarily offering to help exorcise the spirit and then mysteriously withdrawing her offer.

But help WAS at hand from the Christian Community Church in Pilar de Horadada.

“The following Saturday

the Pastor and his wife, Eddie and Nesta, came to our house in Jacarilla and performed an exorcism,’’ says Ian. “During this, Nesta told me that twice something tried to trip her up whilst carrying out the procedure!

“The whole thing took a couple of hours of their precious time, for which help we are eternally grateful.

“Within an hour of their departure the house returned to a normal temperature, and the strange occurrences have ceased.’’

Saturday Sunny High 22° Low 9° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 22° Lo 9° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Showers High 16° Low 5° Chance of rain 60%

Thursday Sunny High 16° Lo 7° Chance of rain 2%

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Friday, March 16, 2012

A question of strike support as protest crowds dwindle SPANIARDS took to the streets again last Sunday in another mass protest against labour reforms and government cuts.

The latest demonstration was seen as something of a test of feeling ahead of the General Strike called for March 29.

And it was not good news for the two main unions that called the strike – UGT and CCOO – as numbers were down dramatically on the turnout for the previous

protest on February 19.

Across the country, according to the Ministry of the Interior, support was down 35.4 per cent with 78,490 fewer people joining demos.

The big cities saw the sharpest decline. In Valencia, protester numbers dropped from 25,000 to 5,000 – a fall of 80 per cent. Madrid saw numbers down from 50,000 in February to 30,000 on Sunday. And in Barcelona only 14,000

joined rallies compared to 30,000 last month.

Unions disputed the numbers and claimed 1.5 million took to the streets on Sunday – a figure more than ten times higher than official counts.

It has been estimated that a general strike will cost Spain 7,688 million euros, or 0.7 per cent of GDP, yet the two unions insist it is a just response to labour reforms they say are the “most

regressive of democracy”.

PM Mariano Rajoy maintains reforms are essential and will create jobs.

The Bank of Spain estimates that if the reforms were in place “for two or three years” the country would save a million unemployed, and the Spanish Government stresses that no other country has destroyed more than 10 per cent of its private employment sector since 2008.

DEATH-CRASH DRIVER ‘WAS CHANGING DVD’ Men only, please...

HABANERAS shopping centre in Torrevieja has come up with a special gift for Father’s Day this Sunday (March 19).

For nine days in the run up to San Jose, men visiting the centre can escape the demands of shopping with their wives and girlfriends and take refuge in a ‘men only’ zone.

Centre staff say The Men Area is a place “where you don’t have to give explanations”.

Fathers and their children can play golf, shoot arrows, play games consoles, or just chill out.

From Page One

MANGLED: The crushed coach

teachers were killed. Twenty-one of the dead were Belgian, seven Dutch. Swiss officials said there were three possible causes for the crash: A technical problem with the coach, human error or the driver being taken ill.

The two drivers Paul van de Velde, 52, and Geert Michiels, 35, were both killed instantly. Doctors are conducting post mortem examinations on their bodies to see if one of them had a stroke or a heart attack.

It is not known which driver was at the wheel at the time of the accident.

The Swiss newspaper Aargauer Zeitung has said a consistent account has emerged describing how "the driver was about to change the tape" in the seconds before the accident.

Another report said: "Just before the fatal bus crash, the driver of the bus had a DVD. This is what the injured children have told their parents and nurses in the hospitals."

The crash — described as "a black day for Belgium" by ORIHUELA Town Hall has threatened the the country's PM — hap- Valencian government with court action if pened as three school the administration does not pay up coaches headed home. Two money owed to the municipality in 90 made the journey back from days. the resort of Val d'Anniviers The warning came as the town hall in safety. But the third myste- demanded three million euros from riously swerved across an Valencia that is outstanding for the emergency stopping lane Palacio de Justicia (court house). and rammed head-on into a In a press conference on Tuesday, wall in an underpass near Antonia Moreno, the councillor of planSierre, close to the Italian ning and projects, said the town hall would seek to evict the courts from the border.

Pay up or we go to court, Orihuela warns Valencia building if the regional government does not pay the debt.

Moreno also complained about the “lack of commitment” Valencia has shown to Orihuela, with no sanitary infrastructure being paid by the regional administration, a cost paid for other municipalities.

“For years we have been acting as a type of NGO for the Valencian government,” said Moreno. She added that the “real debt” owed to Orihuela by Valencia is in the region of ten million euros.

The ‘Cock Roache’ of Corry CORONATION Street star Bill Roache claims he has bedded up to 1,000 women.

As strait-laced Ken Barlow, the veteran actor has managed to chalk up 28 girlfriends in more than half a century on the box.

But, according to the Daily Mirror, in real-life Casanova Roache has been a bed-hopping babe magnet with an amazing string of conquests.

In a remarkably frank interview he claimed hisconquests included a one-night stand with Weatherfield legend Pat Phoenix.

Bill, who turns 80 next month, also revealed how: l His insatiable appetite earned him the nickname “Cock-Roache” among other members of the cast. l He regularly cheated on first wife Anna Cropper because he couldn’t control his sex drive. l He successfully battled booze and depression – and has vowed never to retire Bill is the only original cast member from the first episode in 1960.

Our latest issue is always online at www.thecourier.es

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Friday, March 16, 2012

SECRET OF A LESS TAXING BUDGET the elderly, bus subsidies and library opening hours. The council spent £40,000 on a film unit which it has used to make "information videos" on U-Tube, including how to wash your hands properly by wetting hands before applying soap, and how to making a telephone call.

The Lib Dem opposition say the films are a complete waste of money; the ruling Tory group say the film unit makes many public service films and is a useful way of the council communicating with electors.

Here's another example of how councillors are so good at spending someone else's money.

And a close runner up in the silliness stakes goes to Worcestershire Acute Hospitals Trust, which has spent £10,000 of taxpayers' money running workshops to tell staff to smile more often to patients.

Staff have gone on "Active Caring for Everyone" classes and are encouraged to show their newly-acquired ACE cards to other staff who don't smile appropriately.

The Taxpayers Alliance believes hospital chiefs should get ACE cards themselves for dreaming up such an expensive scheme, which could have gone a long way to employing a much needed additional nurse.

Barmy Britain - it seems to get worse by the week, doesn't it?

However, there a glimmer of good news on the subject of council silliness. Last week I wrote about the seven-year-old boy who loves playing pirates and whose parents raised a Jolly Roger flag on a fishing rod in their garden to bring a bit of realism to his games.

A neighbour complained to the council, which ordered the removal of the flag, claiming it was an "illegal advertisement."

The story appeared in most national newspapers and highlighted how stupid councils can be.

But common sense has dawned and the council has now admitted its action was totally over the top.

It has now agreed that the boy, who has Asperger's, can continue to play pirates under the skull and crossbones.

FUNNY old world, isn't it? All manner of pressure groups are coming out of the woodwork, urging the British chancellor to cut tax on this, that and everything else in this week's Budget.

Ironically, it was the same argument with every pressure group - cut tax and unemployment would drop, and the economy would get a boost.

The first pressure group to come out of the woodwork was the super rich brigade, wanting a reduction in the 50% tax rate.

They argue that if the tax on the rich was cut to 40%, it would make the country more competitive, would get the rich paying tax rather than thinking of ways to avoid it, and tax revenue would actually rise, boosting the jobs market and cutting unemployment benefit.

Believe that and you believe in the tooth fairy.

Next came the lobby calling for a cut in tax on fuel, arguing that if businesses were not paying so much tax on transport, prices in the shops could fall.

And if people were not paying so much for fuel, they would have more money to spend in the shops, which would boost trade, create jobs, cut unemployment pay and boost the economy. Doesn't that sound attractive?

And finally the third pressure group was the holiday and leisure industry, calling for a reduction in VAT from 20% to 5%. The argument is that if you cut tax on hotel bills, price of theatre tickets, and travel costs, et al, for visitors to Britain, many thousands more would pour into the country and spend a fortune.

And guess what? It would create employment and reduce cash paid in unemployment benefits.

So, what exactly do you gather from all this? Take the argument to an illogical conclusion and, if you cut VAT, income tax and fuel duty by, say, 50 per cent, axing the government machine by 50%, Britain would quickly be riding high on an economic boom - no unemployment, no need for benefits payments. Utopia!

There's my budget - want to vote for me?

MY TEARS FOR MADELEINE

THE WINCE OF WHALES BEST bit of international news I've read recently is that the fleet of Japanese whaling ships have quit the Antarctic weeks ahead of schedule, missing out on killing more than 300 whales.

The fleet killed 266 minke whales and one fin whale but instead of being able to harass whales unchallenged, it’s the whalers who have been harassed by anti-whaling activists.

After weeks of cat and mouse activities, the whalers have given up and headed for home, leaving 400 or so of the giant mammals still alive.

There's an international convention preventing the hunting of whales, but Japan chooses to flout this, claiming they are conducting "scientific research".

Whale meat may be a delicacy in Japan, but they really must understand what the rest of the world thinks of killing whales.

It was so sad watching the news clips about Japan mourning the tsunami deaths one year on and seeing how much more needs to be done to rebuild that part of the country hit by the tragedy.

It also seems the public wants to turn its back on nuclear power, which could make Japan uncompetitive through skyhigh energy costs and adds to the country's economic woes. Japan has some big problems.

NOW FOR THE SILLY SEASON....

SILLINESS prize of the week goes to West Sussex County Council, which has reportedly spent £100,000 making "patronising" videos on such things as how to wash your hands and how to make a phone call.

This very same council is facing a massive budget cut, which includes deep cuts to services, including day care for

Finally, I am delighted to hear that Portuguese police are to re-examine the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, the four-year old who was abducted while on holiday in Praia da Luz in the Algarve on May 3, 2007 as her parents Kate and Gerry dined with friends nearby.

A new team of detectives is to sift through the endless piles of papers on the case and search for new lines of enquiry, in the hope that something will emerge which will lead to Madeleine’s discovery.

I wish so much they would be successful. My wife and I holidayed in Praia de Luz last year, close to where Madeleine disappeared and tears came to my eyes each time I passed by and thought about what has become of the little girl. I don't think any parent can help feeling this way.

You can't help thinking that if the police had acted quicker and thrown cordons around the Algarve, the child snatchers may have been caught. What sickened us was the notion that somehow the parents were responsible for their daughter's disappearance.

It was compounded by all the criticism levelled at them for leaving her asleep while they ate close by. How many parents can honestly say they have never let their children out of their sight?

My plea would be - when you are out, keep in mind Madeleine who is now aged nine and may look very different, but has a most unusual eye colouring.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Where charity ENDS at home

AFTER 30 YEARS LIVING ABROAD, JEFF AND NORMA FINALLY HEAD BACK TO THE UK JEFF and Norma Downing will return to their roots at the end of this month – and end a 30-year exile from the UK. And with their departure, the local community will lose two of its most intrepid and popular charity workers.

After spending nearly half their lives in Australia and Spain, the El Raso couple are turning their backs on the sun, to the surprise of many. Says Norma, 70: ‘’We both want to go back to spend some time with our families and friends. We hope to find a small place in the country and do some travelling. ‘’It will be another challenge for us and we are both looking forward to it. We will miss the good weather - but there are also things we won't miss.’’

West Midlands born Norma, 70, and Jeff, 73, married in 1966 and spent 20 years in Australia before coming to Spain. Their charitable streak soon became apparent and between them have raised an astonishing €3,000 for the Butterfly Children.

Norma started work in the Debra Charity shop in Pueblo Bravo the day it opened and went on to teach belly dancing to ladies of

all ages. Meanwhile, Jeff got busy with NHW fun days and coming up with various ways of keeping El Raso clean and tidy.

For the last few months he has been heavily involved in the nationwide campaign to raise funds for sick Spanish schoolgirl Aitana Garcia Doiz’s heart surgery by collecting and recyclling plastic bottle tops.

Jeff spent 30 years working for the Co-op Birmingham Society, starting as an errand/delivery boy on a bike – and leaving as manager of a large departmental store in his home town of West Bromwich.

Norma trained as a hairdresser, later becoming a shop manageress... a dental receptionist and a hospital cashier. In Australia, she took lessons in Belly Dancing and put that to good use here, forming her own troupe of expats, whose colourful demonstrations of the art have graced many a fund-raising event.

Now she and Jeff have a new challenge ahead…to rebuild their lives back in Blighty.

And Norma says confidently: ‘’I am sure we will settle in UK and we will do okay. After living in three countries we are up for the challenge.’’

Special delivery!

Jeff and Norma on a mission for Aitana

Social services reach out to Costa seniors A PRESENTATION by Orihuela social services staff on the services available for senior citizens living on the coast is to be translated into English and German so that nonSpanish speaking residents can take advantage of help on offer.

The presentation came about thanks to a joint initiative between Norah Bond, president of Help at Home Costa Blanca and Manfred Schwarting, former vice president of CLARO. More than 100 people packed the Civic Centre eager to learn more about services available. The information presented at the meeting in Spanish will now be summarised and distributed as a leaflet in English, German and Spanish.

Social services staff outlined the free services available to senior citizens such as help

at home, meals on wheels and emergency alarm contacts – all available to EU citizens who have been resident for at least five years, subject to assessment of needs.

Residential and day-care services were also discussed, as were services offered by private providers and charities such as Help at Home Costa Blanca, Age Concern, Caritas and AECC. But the meeting did not, address shortfalls in service provision.

A social worker based at the Civic Centre will be available to meet any resident by appointment to answer individual queries.

Free translators will be provided by Help At Home Costa Blanca on Mondays and Tuesdays from 10am to 12pm in the cafeteria to the rear of the Civic Centre. Should you require a translator, call 691 585 167 or pop into the Civic Centre cafeteria.

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Friday, March 16, 2012

HAH’s racing start as Si Bar says yes HELP At Home supporter Steve Sutcliffe held a race night at Si Bar, La Manga Club last week to thank the charity for all the help it gave him and his late wife Elva during her final illness.

“The support we received both at home and in hospital was priceless,” said Steve, “and the friendships which developed helped us both so much, and gave Elva tremendous strength, courage and support towards the end.”

Determined to give something back to the charity, Steve got together with Chris London, Mike Hughes, John Ashley Chase, Graham Walker and other willing helpers to stage the event.”

Steve praised “the amazing help, care and support HAH give, not only to us, but to so many others”.

Around 130 people attended the race night. Many horses were sponsored by local businesses and by the end of the evening a staggering €2125 was raised for HAH. Lesley Eburne from HAH said: “We were happy to be asked to help Steve and Elva, and during that time we all became very close. It was so sad to lose such a lovely friend, but she will never be forgotten. This event and the money raised was unbelievable and they all put so much effort into making the night such a success. We cannot thank them enough.”

HAH also thanked Peter, Sylvia and Chelsea Ingham, the Si Bar and staff, the sponsors and the fantastic volunteers who all work tirelessly on behalf of HAH Help at Home.

GIRLS HOOP IT UP TO NET FIRST WIN ROJALES Netball Club went for a Burton as they launched their 2012 campaign.

No, they didn’t come unstuck - we’re talking about their captain Tracey Burton, who led the team in their first competitive match of the year at Alfaz, just outside Benidorm.

Helping hands reach La Marina HELP At Home Costa Blanca is set to launch in a new area – La Marina – in order to extend its valuable free services to those in need of a little extra help.

The charity has a team of volunteers waiting to cover the new area, alongside 130 or so helpers who already work hard in the Orihuela Costa, Torrevieja and Quesada areas.

In addition to home help and respite care, Help’s team can assist with translation, transport to hospitals and medical centres and shopping, among other services.

Ten players made the trip, including their new coach, former Nottinghamshire Ladies defender Dee Williams. And the Rojales girls settled into their positions extremely quickly showing great team spirit right from the start.

The girls worked hard together and, using good team tactics and successful centre pass formations, soon gained the upper hand and eased into a 14-9 lead.

Rojales centre, Claire, and attacking players Jade and Lin were impressive in centre Languages court, their fast movement producing many HAH Costa Blanca profine sequences of play as the lead was NET PROFIT: The girls of Rojales netball team are looking for more action stretched to 21-10. Alfaz made some changes vides a free translator to their formation in an to assist anyone who attempt to break down the needs help with a claim for strong defensive line of social welfare benefits.

Angelique, who offers Tracey, Ronnie, Dee and Louise. But the visitors this service, can be found eased to a 32-21 victory, in the Civic Centre cafe, thanks to some strong team Playa Flamenca (behind N SO KIN AT EW

By ANDR play from Carol and Jessica SuperCor & Rocky’s Arena Lake TICKETS are now on sale for Adhoc Theatre Company’s eagerly awaited new comedy, Sex recent THE on Please We’re Willing. sp and some great goals from off the N-332), every e ng alle Ch Charity Sex Please We’re Willing is a brand new show. The play is set in an English bed and sored walk and cycle day shooter Sam, with some Monday and Tuesday from breakfast run by an elderly and very precise owner, Mrs Stancliffe. Her neighbour, Dudley, at Casa La Pedrera in excellent long shots finding 10am to 12pm. Or call profancies himself as a ladies man, and uses her business as a personal dating agency.

Angelique, who can help the net.

Torremendo is set to The fun begins as the three glamorous, but menopausal, ladies who are guests at the B&B duce a 2,000 euro jackThe Rojales club train on in five languages, on 691 find out that Dudley has been making advances on all of them. Mrs Stancliffe has a suitor pot for charity.

Tuesdays (7pm) and are 585 167. swho as a retired chemist has always on the look out for For info on Help’s other Jenni Rey and hu invented a female Viagra band Derek, along with new players - and new oppo- services, or to become a called Venusia. The women staff of their Casa La sition. volunteer, call Sheila on decide to teach Dudley a les- Pedrera, Grand Design Contact Tracey on 679 539 603 245 020. More about son by swopping his Viagra house, arranged 15km 995 or Claire on 680 300 Help at Home Costa Blanca and with the Venusia. The resultand 20km cycle rides 637. www.helpathomecb.org 5km ing chaos of hot flushes, 15km, 10km and e lak mood swings and irritability walks around the nt will leave you in hysterics during a sunshine eve ond Cast members include that took in the alm Karen Love, who recently grove in blossom.

IF your heart is steeped in art, get yourself over to the appeared in TV’s Benidorm.

Cunningham Paul ur Procombel Furniture Store on the N332 on March 24.

Yo Adhoc colleague Jax By d an Nurses iarThe day’s Charity Art Competition in aid of PCN is for all Lawson said: “Rehearsals Heart are the benefic al nu levels, with FREE viewing plus FREE draw ticket. Artists an are a riot as we laugh so rth fou ies of the pay €8 per entry with judging at 1pm. Call 639 318 526 or much. We’re looking forward lake event. be email sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk to giving the audience an "Final amounts will eady Paul Cunningham Nurses are looking for people to hold a evening full of belly laughs.” totalled soon - but alr a s ha bucket for two hours at Cabo Roig’s St Patricks Day Parade m Three performances will ha ing nn Paul Cu said tomorrow (Saturday). Contact Sue as above. be held at The School of healthy 1,500 euros,’’ y is DUE to the number of members increasing, the Music in Los Montesinos Jenni. “More mone fully Philip Scott Lodge of the Royal Antediluvian Order on April 19, 20 and 21. For coming in and hope 00 2,0 of Buffaloes has moved to a larger location - Bar the ticket details call Jax on ch rea l we wil Catorce in Benijofar. Members old and new are welcome 677 600 809 or email euros mark.’’ to go along on Friday evenings between 7 and 9pm. adhocspain@hotmail.com

Shooting to thrill with Dud bullets!

Lake day shores up charities

An art warmer

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Now I’ll Dai happy MY moan about the lack of St David’s Day celebrations in my locality was inspired by the fact I did not see a soul wearing a daffodil on the big day. I didn’t see any people wearing them, either (sorry!).

That’s because Thursday March 1 happened to be press day at The Courier - a day when I am lucky to see daylight, let alone go hunting for such a Spanish rarity as a Taff daff. But I should have known that if I couldn’t track down an expatriate Dragon or two, then they would find me...

Enter Andy and Jackie Dawson, who run the Croeso Inn at La Florida. They wrote to tell me about their theme bar and their St David’s Day fiesta. And since they added that they look forward to reading my articles, I’ll also tell you that you can check Croeso Inn out on Facebook.

Then came an invitation from fellow expats Diane

and Allan Budd that I could not resist - to join British Legion Welsh section members at a local hostelry and watch the Six Nations rugby clash between Wales and France on TV So, just before kick-off time, there I was on my feet in front of a big screen at Lo Marabu bar in Dona Pepa, accompanied by 18 other half-sozzled voices, yelling out a chorus of Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau as if my life depended on it.

For the next couple of hours, my new friends and I drank, cheered and cursed the referee as Wales eased to victory over Italy and set themselves up to become champions of Europe this weekend.

A win against France in Cardiff on Saturday will give them the coveted Six Nations Grand Slam for the third time in seven years. And guess where I’ll be spending the afternoon?

STICK IT UP YOUR GUILT, CARDINAL!

I THINK it’s fair to say that I am a tolerant person. Certainly where religion is concerned.

My bloodline is predominantly Jewish with an injection of English Christianity 150 years ago.

Nationally, I am a Euro-mix of Welsh, English, Polish and Russian. And I was categorically hetero from what I remember of those distant days when I actually had a sex life.

Normally I would not dream of passing judgement on others (apart from the odd little Left v Right tussle over the relative merits/deficiencies of the Labour and Tory parties). As far as I am concerned, we are what we are – all of us. And, providing we live within the laws of the land and our partners are consenting adults, then we should accept each other at face value.

I respect the rights of every honest person on this planet, no matter what their race, religion, politics or sexual orientation.

What I do NOT respect is the hypocritical comments of clergymen like Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien, who we are told is not only Scotland’s most senior Catholic, but also Britain’s.

He also lives in a glass house - in a profession besmirched by a history of predatory paedophile priests using their position to abuse children. Yet he is happy to throw stones at others.

According to Mr O’Brien, the concept of gay marriage is a “grotesque subversion of a universally accepted human right.” Really? On who’s

the Big Man (or Woman) upstairs, tells us categorically that gay marriage is a repulsive thought.

So, to far more people, are images of what goes on in an abattoir - but I’ve not heard the Catholic church preaching against meat-eaters.

authority, Cardinal? Did our Maker give you a call on your mobile?

I have lots of gay friends and they were all staggered that a man of the cloth could say anything so un-Christian.

Apart from anything, the word ‘marriage’ is just that - a word. And a word invented by man, not God or some omnipotent presence. So if two people wish to ‘marry’ each other, who is Cardinal O’Brien (or anyone else for that matter) to interfere? Nobody is going to force him to perform the ceremony, so why not just leave them to it?

We are talking about honest, decent people here – not sexual predators like the child molesters who littered the priesthood for decades.

Yet the Cardinal, believing he has a hotline to

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966 784 532

ENTER THE DRAGON...painting Lo Marabu red with some of my new friends

Sadly, pontificating bigots like O’Brien believe they have a God-given right to judge lifestyles that clash with the doctrine of their own gargantuan establishment.

The reality is that no one on this Earth knows whether the Almighty (if He/She exists) approves of gay marriage. Or any sort of marriage, for that matter - because it is a man-made lifestyle.

Cardinal O’Brien’s opinion merely reflects his own view, though committed Catholics will no doubt see his words as Divinely inspired.

Yet for all we know, God’s master plan might be to rid society of heterosexuality as a prelude to reducing the population and then ending the world. Now there’s an interesting theory!

My Catholic friends tell me that their entire faith is built around Guilt. I wouldn’t know about that because I do not believe in organised religion. But if I were the Cardinal, I would be feeling as Guilty as sin over the perverts who shamed the church.

There are far more important issues in life than sticking your oar in on a delicate subject like gay marriage.

My advice to Cardinal O’Brien is, to use the Scottish vernacular....stick your opinions up your Guilt.

From hugs to racism, the things kids say THE things children say can live with you for a lifetime.

I’ve never forgotten the time, more than 35 years ago, that I jokingly whined to my three-year-old daughter Lisa: “Nobody loves me’’.

Quick as a flash, she gave me a big hug and assured me: “My body loves you.’’

A generation later, the one liners have rubbed off on Lisa’s six-year-old son, Solly. For instance, when she shouts at him, he invariably responds with: “Be nice to me. I’m your mother.’’

Then, when she told him she would think about his request that she buys him some football cards, “Mummy, why are you always so racist?’’

And finally, to his 15year-old sister, Talia: “I love you more than a flower.’’

Do your kids or grandkids make you laugh with their one-liners?

Email them to donna@thecourier.es and I’ll publish the best ones.

8

Friday, March 16, 2012

Friday, March 16, 2012

9

10

I'M always hungry. I blame my condition on the dreadful meals I left untouched over the course of 11 years at school.

My goodness, that adds up to roughly 2,310 dire canteen lunches - rough being the operative word.

Consequently, I have undertaken great efforts to make up for my food intake deficiency since I staggered, starving, through the school gates for the final time all those years ago.

To put it bluntly, I'll eat almost anything these days.

I cannot walk past a chippy or kebab house without sniffing the air appreciatively and succumbing to my greedy need. I join the queue at the counter and wait patiently to purchase a portion of this or a piece of that.

I was prompted to tell you about my propensity to gobble down whatever is on offer by a rather shameful episode at a fast-food establishment the other day.

The occasion was a lunch date with my youngest grandson who is aged three but mature for his years.

During our table talk, in which he mooted the possibility that Thomas the Tank Engine would marry the delightful Emily, he spotted me attempting to palm one of his fries.

My grandson paused in mid-sentence, pointed an admonishing finger at me and declared loudly: 'You DON'T take children's chips!'

Oh, the embarrassment as those fellow snackers within earshot glared accusingly at me.

I attempted to make light of my miserable situation by grinning inanely (Kids, eh?

Such fibs they tell.) But I erred by adding an exaggerated shoulder-shrugging gesture to my sickly smile.

That movement changed the lay of my shirt and from

Friday, March 16, 2012

Look back in hunger out of my sleeve there tumbled the major part of a child's portion of chicken nuggets. 'Grandpa!' my lunch companion yelled in despair.

My grandson was disgusted with me, the other diners were disgusted with me and I, too, was disgusted with me. But tot up the total of that list of disgusts and it came to nowhere near the repugnance that my young mates and I felt for the slop we were served during our primary and secondary schooldays.

I can visualise some of those nightmare dishes even now -- the lumpy mashed potatoes containing green bits, the gristly chunks of sinewy meat, the collection of soft bones and scaly skin in a grey pastry which constituted pilchard pie.

And all the meals were invariably accompanied by thin, watery gravy which slopped around menacingly under the rim of a dingy chipped jug.

My best pal at school, Eric the future dentist, once observed in mitigation that at least the gravy helped wash down the food.

'Blimey,' I replied. 'I wouldn't even wash down the headmaster's Morris Mini-Minor with that stuff.'

Anyway, after one typically hideous school lunch, my

pals and I got into an argument as to whether the main component of the meal had been fish, flesh or fowl - or, God forbid, something else.

We decided to enlist the help of Eric's older brother, who worked as a technician in an analytical food laboratory. But first we had to provide him with a sample. And to acquire that sample, one of us had to creep back into the canteen and grab hold of a meal.

But who was to do the deed?

We decided that whoever had the lowest membership number on his Buddy Holly Fan Club card would draw the short straw. It was a bit of a daunting prospect for, should he be discovered, the canteen vigilante would have to brave the wrath of the burly dinner ladies who

were most unappreciative of us lads wandering about in their territory.

We produced our Buddy Holly cards.

'Hang on a minute,' I said.

'This isn't fair.'

'Why not?' my cronies chorused.

'Because the person with the lowest membership number had to be the first one of us to join the Buddy Holly Fan Club.

'So why should the lad who has worshipped Buddy Holly the longest be penalised?'

'Blimey, Dave's right,' said Eric.

'Let's make it the one amongst us who was the LAST to join the club.'

We looked at our cards and compared membership numbers.

'It looks like it's you, Dave,' my relieved mates said.

'Ah, well,' I sighed. 'Long live rock 'n' roll but I wish I'd kept my big mouth shut.'

I crept back into the canteen and hid behind a kitchen bin, ready to pounce. Coincidentally, or

even serendipitously, at that precise moment the fire alarm went off and everyone skedaddled out of the building in an immediate and orderly fashion.

I swiped a handful of stuff off a plate, stuffed it into my school duffel bag, pulled the drawstring tight and legged it out of the canteen's other door.

'Mission accomplished,' I announced to my mates when we met up again after being name-checked and dismissed from our fire assembly point.

I handed the duffel bag to Eric to pass on to his brother the lab technician. 'How did you manage it, Dave?' my admiring mates asked.

I shrugged. 'With a mixture of cunning, calculation and daring.

And when that didn't work, I set off the fire alarm.'

One week later, Eric rushed into school waving an official-looking envelope in the air. 'It's come!' he shouted. 'The result of the analysis on our school dinner.'

We clustered around Eric as he ripped open the envelope and pulled out a single foolscap sheet of paper.

'Well? Well?' we cried.

'What does it say?'

Eric turned ashen as he read the report out aloud.

'Re the query from the members of the Buddy Holly Fan Club schoolboy section.

Our team of dedicated diagnostic consultants tested the food sample sent to us.

'But at some point, the sample awoke from its traumatised state and fled from the premises. We would like to point out that we do not appreciate practical jokes and in consequence your headmaster has been informed.'

My mates glared at me.

'Oh, dear,' I gulped. 'I think I've kidnapped the caretaker's cat.'

Callosa cock-fighting horror NATIONAL Police have arrested 46 people in Callosa de Segura for illegal cock fighting.

Officers raided the fight venue while cock-baiting was in progress, arresting all those present.

According to the police, birds were found with their crests amputated and dosed up on substances to increase aggressiveness, includ-

ing amphetamines, caffeine and strychnine.

The police investigation, codenamed Operation Crest, began about a month ago when officers became suspicious about the activities of a group that breeds and exports the Spanish fighting cock breed.

The Callosa cock fights were big

THE BELLUGA THEATRE OF DREAMS LA Marina sports Centrre is to stage a 50s and 60s fund-raising event for the Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group on Friday April 20.

Tickets are only â‚Ź8 for a meal and entertainment.

Bring all those memories back to life for a few hours of fun.

Dress up if you like - or come and see those that like to!

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business with bets totalling thousands of euros placed by fightgoers who paid entrance fees of 10 euros to watch birds kill each other.

Some bouts are thought to have attracted bets of up to 10,000 euros.

The fights, usually at weekends, attracted crowds from across Alicante and beyond. Six of those held are thought to be organisers.

Police seized around 7,000 euros in cash, jars full of the legs of dead birds and machines for weighing roosters, plus substances to increase the aggressiveness of the cocks.

Operation Crest was conducted by the Alicante drug and organised crime unit of the Judicial Police.

11

Friday, March 16, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LEARNING THE LINGO 11 – Verbs contd.

HERE are the answers to last week’s translations: He speaks – él habla, we speak – nosotros hablamos, they walk – ellos andan, we buy – nosotros compramos, he walks – él anda, I buy – yo compro, we love – nosotros amamos, you walk – tú andas, they speak – ellos hablan, we buy – nosotros compramos Last week we began to learn how to conjugate regular verbs, beginning with verbs ending in AR. This week we will continue with the other two endings, IR and ER. All verbs in their ´to´ state end in AR, ER or IR and this is how the regular verbs are changed to make sense.

Don´t forget, to conjugate, take off the ER and add the following.

Examples: the verb comer = to eat

I eat – Yo como You eat – Tú comes He eats – Él come Finally, conjugating IR verbs Examples, using the verb Vivir = to live

I live – yo vivo You live – tú vives We live – vivimos You all live – vivís So, here are some sentences using what we have learned so far: I speak English – Hablo inglés You eat food – tú comes comida I live in Spain – yo vivo en España Remember, because the ending changes depending on who is doing the action, it is not normal to say the subject (I, you, he, she, etc) So, it is correct to say: “vivo en España” “comes comida” “Hablo inglés” Here are some common regular verbs that are conjugated using the above tables (and the table from last week) AR verbs andar – to walk, comprar – to buy, estudiar – to study, hablar – to speak ER verbs aprender – to learn, beber – to drink, comer – to eat.

IR verbs Vivir – to live, Abrir – to open, escribir – to write, recibir – to receive Asking questions in Spanish: In order to ask a question in Spanish, the word order remains the same. The way to tell it is a question when someone is speaking is by the tone of voice. The tone will rise at the end of the last word, because “bebes agua” as a statement and “¿bebes agua?” as a question is the same; therefore when it is spoken there has to be an inclination in the voice.

One way the Spanish can get around this is by stating before they ask that they are going to ask a question. They do this by saying “Una pregunta” and then ask.´ Una pregunta´ means ´a question´. Another way is by adding the subject but after the verb as opposed to before it as in a statement.

Examples: “Una pregunta ¿bebes agua?” OR “¿bebes tú

agua?”

They also add the words ¿no? or ¿verdad? to statements, but that tends to be when they kind of know the answer, for example they could say “bebes agua ¿no?” OR “bebes agua¿verdad?” Verdad in English means true, so they are saying “you drink water no?” or “You drink water true?” which doesn´t really sound right in English but is well used in Spanish.

Some useful words that can be used when starting to speak Spanish are words to ask questions, such as: Where? = ¿dónde? Who? = ¿Quién? Why? = ¿por qué?

How? = Cómo What? = ¿Qué?

When writing a question, Spanish uses two question marks, the one we use in English at the end and another one inverted at the beginning. So, when you see Spanish written you know before you read the sentence that there is a question. Any computer can be made to use any language keyboard. The way to have Spanish and English keyboards is as follows: On the start page when you first turn on your computer click on ´Control Panel´ then click on languages or under languages header it may say ‘change keyboard’. Once you have clicked that, you will see a small box with English on it and next to it will be a small button that says add. Once you click on add, you will be faced with all the language keyboards you can have on your computer along with English.

Find Spanish (Spain) and click on it, then click ok then click on apply and once you close that box you should see a small EN on the toolbar with all your other icons, usually found at the bottom of the screen.

Click on that and it will bring up English and Spanish and you can click on whichever keyboard you wish to use.

Homework: Here are some sentences in English for you to translate into Spanish. They are all words we have used in the past lessons. Take your time and enjoy learning, I will keep the sentences in their simplest forms: I live in Spain, where do you buy food? Do you speak Spanish? I walk the dog, I drink lager.

12

Friday, March 16, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

NEEDS AND LEADS: A COSTA CHALLENGE

AS we touched down on the saturated tarmac, spray surrounded the aircraft as it came to a smooth stop.

This is London. The crossroads to the world’s weather.

A hotch-potch of different climates, but today it was a cruel one.

Only a couple of hours earlier, we had taken off from the sun-drenched Costa Blanca and had now drawn the short straw.

I had been fortunate, though. My latest visit to Spain gave me six days of sunshine, an array of consultations, all filled with success, and a chance at last to meet the wonderful staff of The Courier and TKO radio. Thankfully I also had the opportunity to spend some time with the beautiful dogs and puppies of two rescue centres.

Had I been driving back to London, rather than flying, one of the residents of these centres, a little three-yearold female dog, would have been mine! I have my eye on her and I think she will soon be a member of my pack.

Amongst the consultations was a Spanish man named Gus, who had an acute fear of dogs. He had sent me a detailed description of his trepidation and my heart went out to him. The man was petrified, as soon he will be sharing a house with two Huskies and one Rottweiler. I had a long chat with Gus on the phone, before I arrived in Spain, so that I could give him some tools to start working on his phobia.

By the end of the consultation, Gus, who previously could not be in the same room as a dog, was walking the Rottweiler and playing fetch with his new found friend!

It was inspirational to see and he was kind enough to be open-minded and take my advice on board, for which he is now reaping the rewards. Welcome to the dog world, Gus! I met Ann, a lady who showed compassion by rescuing a

Peter helps Rocky the Rottweiler to relax

German Shepherd mix dog, who was found in a water pipe on the Costa Blanca. Ann was having tremendous difficulty walking Rafa because of his excitement and strength and her confidence was rock bottom. Her willingness to learn was the spark for the amazing success that followed.

From being pulled from pillar to post around Guardamar on daily walks, Ann was now walking Rafa as if a butterfly were

When it comes to a dog’s behaviour, forget the vet

l

HI PETER, We were recommended to get in touch with you by Little Pod Foundation. We have also been impressed with your column in The Courier.

Two weeks ago we adopted Lucy (pictured), via Pets in Spain. The one major problem we have is her aggressive behaviour to visitors and anybody we meet who do not have a dog with them. We think this stems from fear, but are not sure how to deal with it in the correct way.

Our two Llasa Apsos died last year within five months of each other at ages 14 and 16 years. One was adopted at eight months but we have not experienced this behaviour.

Our vet tells us we must show Lucy who is boss. We do but while that is OK at home, it is easier said than done when in a public place. Can you please help. CAROLE WEAVER, Villamartin

q

PETER REPLIES: Carole, I’m afraid your vet is incorrect.

They are professionals in medicine and surgery for animals, not behaviour, as their advice would suggest.

l

I am predicting that many visitors approach Lucy when she is not comfortable with them and this will cause a negative reaction with any dog.

Visitors need to TOTALLY ignore her and you will find that she will become comfortable around people a lot quicker.

You are probably also becoming anxious and nervous when visitors arrive, which will spread fuel to the fire.

Relax when she is around people and kindly ask visitors and strangers to ignore Lucy until she has the confidence to approach them in her own time.

SUZY, our puppy, is adorable and was learning very well but about two weeks after we had her, she was taken very ill. The vets at the hospital thought it was a type of Parvo but, thank God, after 24 hours in the hospital she got better.

Since then the things we were teaching her have all been forgotten except for ‘stay’. I suppose that as she was so ill, we spoil her big time.

But that's not going to help her, so can you help.

BRIAN and SHARON QUIRK

attached to the other end of the lead. She glowed with pride as human and dog became one.

Linda, from Villamartin, with her five-month old puppy, learnt how easy it is to make the mistake of transferring nervous energy onto the youngest of dogs. She blossomed and grew in confidence as she walked Megan through a busy shopping area.

The final consultation led me to Karen, who was constantly swimming against the tide with a dominant Podenco named Gaspar. She was genuinely despondent, but this was simply a case of affection being given consistently at the wrong times and no rules and boundaries.

Gaspar was displaying signs of major dominance, but by the end of the five-hour consultation, walking down the street was a lady and her dog in perfect harmony.

It really was special to witness that moment.

The clients mentioned here all had two major ingredients in common. The first was no ego and the second was a willingness to change. That is why they are now on the road to peace and joy with their canine guardians.

At the end of my visit, though, I was becoming illat-ease with a familiar sight as I continued my journey through the Costa Blanca. It was the constant view of dogs being tied to trees or posts, or being locked behind a gate, without ever going for a walk. The sheer ignorance some people show in the welfare of dogs is shocking and cruel.

I am constantly astounded at the amount of residents in Spain who simply use their dogs as a substitute for a burglar alarm. How I would love to tie these owners to a tree day in day out, you have no idea!

I was simply lost for words on one consultation, when a Spanish man complained that I shouldn’t keep walking the dog I was working with past his home, as it was upsetting his dog. A dog that is tied to the same tree every day outside their house, while never, ever going for a walk!

I have never met a more severe case of ignorance in all my years. The visit came to an end with my first live interview with TKO Gold, which was interesting and fun. It was now time to return home. As the aircraft climbed towards the stunning blue sky over Alicante, it leaned heavily to the right. I looked down and caught a wonderful view of the coastline and some cliffs. My mind began to wander.

Regular readers of this column will have little confusion guessing who I would save if a dog and a human were hanging over that cliff.

q

PETER replies: Spoiling her and feeling sorry for her will not help Suzy to become a balanced dog. She is now at home and feeling better so you have to go on the same network as your puppy which is living in the now, not the past.

Yes, of course buy your puppy treats and toys etc... but also remember to give her the most valuable gift all puppies and dogs need, which are rules and boundaries.

Good luck.

Ann and Raffa ....no more pulling on the lead

Friday, March 16, 2012

13

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And now home insurance too Línea Directa offers an exclusive Premium policy designed for foreign residents in Spain, which apart from offering the best cover on the market, also offers customer service in English.

For more information: 902 123 104

14

Friday, March 16, 2012

Spring has sprung IS IT just me or did February seem to be the longest month of the last 12? Considering it was in fact the shortest, it seemed to go on forever which I am sure is because it was so bitterly cold.

The days seemed to go on forever and life consisted of school run, home, school run, home. There was no going to the park for a quick play after school, no sitting outside, in fact I only ventured outside when it was absolutely necessary. Then there were just cold nights in tucked up in my duvet.

But, finally, winter seems to have gone and made way for spring. The evenings are getting warmer and the days slightly longer, and I feel like going out more. I am now warm enough to sit in a park and watch my son play, or sit outside a bar with a coffee or the occasional glass of wine. I want to venture out more and not hide under my duvet.

Meeting friends for coffee now means sitting in the sun and relaxing; much nicer, I think, than sitting inside a bar.

Even with the smoking ban and smoke-free insides, I still prefer to sit outside and catch a few rays. Watching the world go by is so much more enjoyable than watching the barman clean yet another glass.

Now it´s all changing. The mornings are getting warmer and soon the coat will make way for a jacket, then just a top.

It´s not long now into the day when the coat can be removed and the sungIasses put on. I long for hot, balmy days. I am a person who loves the warmth. I know I was born to live in a hot country. Sure, some people like the cold but for me

there is only one type of weather.

I am almost certain that if I asked a group of people in Spain what their favourite seasons are, the majority would say spring and autumn. Summer can be too hot for some people, winter too cold, but spring and autumn here in Spain are just perfect.

There is nearly always a slight breeze to take away the fierceness of the sun, the evenings are warm enough to sit outside and the weather causes no problems in sleeping at night. No excuse is needed for sitting outside with a glass in hand and walking anywhere becomes a pleasant stroll.

Salad becomes the meal of choice and we all feel very

healthy with our new eating and exercise regime.

As slowly as February took to leave, I feel the next few months are going to pass in the blink of an eye as we enjoy the change.

I love the heat. The hot weather is an added extra for me, not an inconvenience and I would gladly sit outside in July and August. It is very important to me that I feel comfortable in my own house and when it´s warm I do. So I am in my element from March through to December most years, and even January on occasions.

Now is the perfect time for us singles to get out there and start mixing, leaving the dreary winter weather behind and watching everyone´s smiling faces. We all know warm weather makes us feel better inside and out. People become more friendly and it is easier to strike up a conversation with that stranger sitting on the next table, even if it starts with “Isn´t the weather lovely now?” As I mentioned in a previous piece, Spain is a fantastic country for making friends, the weather makes everyone more relaxed and the lifestyle is one of socialising.

Strangers chat for hours about life and anything they find interesting and before you know it, one comment about the weather has passed several hours of interesting and fun chat. And you never know, that one chance comment might have made you a good friend, who can open your eyes to new experiences and information. Yes, you discover you have found someone special to have coffee and a chat with on a regular basis.

So let´s get out there while the sun is shining and enjoy one of the reasons we chose this gorgeous country.

15

Friday, March 16, 2012

BY GEORGE, IT’S YAWN TIME IT’S UK Budget Day this coming Wednesday and don’t you love the total predictability of it all?

I built up a very early hatred of such days from way back in the ’60s, when my kids’ TV shows were pulled to make way for a load of old codgers talking about stuff I didn’t understand.

Actually, what’s changed? Every year, and it doesn’t matter which party is in charge, you get everybody telling the Chancellor what he should do in the Budget, and then everybody telling him afterwards what a complete mess he has made of it all! It’s just so easy to run the British economy from your lounge sofa, with a can of beer in your hand.

Then there’s always the average UK family being interviewed on the TV Budget shows, working out how they can make ends meet, and slagging off whoever’s in charge.

Yawn and double-yawn! I bet loads of those families were spending like there was no tomorrow with their mass collections of credit cards five years ago, and now the chickens have come home to roost big-time.

For Chancellor George Osborne, this is the last key Budget before the 2015 General Election. It takes time for economic decisions to filter through the system, and so the doors have very much swung open at the last-chance saloon. My guess is that he’ll go for two things, one the abolition of the 50p tax rate, to be replaced by a Mansion Tax or Tycoon Tax, which the Lib Dems want. Also, you might get some further movement on taking more lower earners out of tax, by increasing personal allowances, something that the Lib Dems also want.

Nick Clegg’s party need quick achievements like this as their poll ratings are plunging quicker than the value of a Greek bond. Talking of those polls, two-thirds of the people questioned said they were against coalition government.

Funny, that, as a few years ago everybody was telling the pollsters what a wonderful thing a coalition would be. Voters at times are truly fickle and are the most marvellous reason not to have elections ever again!

BOBBY BOTHER

THE Tories used to love calling themselves the party of law and order, but despite their justified screaming over the years that Labour have been cutting the number of bobbies on the beat, they’re in a spot of bother.

Nobody seemed to work out the obvious - that if you get rid of lots of civilian workers doing the boring paperwork in police stations, then the PCs end up putting down their truncheons, after being told to do that work instead.

It’s utter madness, and has greatly impacted on the frontline policing figures that Labour’s Yvette Cooper has obtained from the forces under the Freedom of Information act. You

also know there’s something in it when the Police Minister, Nick Herbert, is left hopping around like a pregnant kangaroo saying he “doesn’t recognise the figures”. That’s code for saying no comment until he gets the figures himself, and of course he didn’t say those statistics were wrong.

Mind you, Cooper’s party were pledged for big police cuts as well, but that’s easy to forget when you’re in opposition!

THE old industrial shirt sleeves are being rolled up for a General Strike here in Spain at the end of the month, called by a couple of the big unions in protest at the Rajoy government’s labour reforms.

But you have to ask yourself this question. What will such a strike achieve, and can Spanish workers really afford to lose even a day’s pay in a fruitless few hours of inaction?

There are plenty of opportunities to take to the streets in the evening and at the weekend, rather than trying to kick a fragile economy even further in the old proverbials. Of course, the union leaders don’t lose any personal money through it, and I can’t see Mariano Rajoy and his cabinet soiling themselves over this predictable piece of stupiity, as

they continue to clear up the financial mess left by Zapatero and his cronies, especially at local and regional levels.

SITTING IT OUT FINALLY, the drunken MP for Falkirk, Eric Joyce, now famous for his brawl in the Commons bar rather than for anything else, has a decision to make after being sentenced to a year-long community order.

The Labour Party wanted to boot him out, but he beat them to it by writing a resignation to Ed Miliband on Monday, backed up by a grovelling apologetic statement to his fellow MPs. Of course he can stay as Falkirk MP until the 2015 General Election, picking up his money, but he fell short of showing a rare bit of honour amongst politicians, by not resigning from his seat.

It would have offered the tantalising prospect of Labour being embarrassed in a by-election defeat at the hands of the SNP, but don’t you suspect that Mr Miliband offered him a party exit with some dignity, rather than an unwelcome electoral contest?

16

Friday, March 16, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

A comedy of errors I WOULD like to make a suggestion to Norah Bond that she changes the name of her charity to HAHA instead of HAH following the "comedy" performance last week at the Civic Centre in Playa Flamenca.

My wife and I have been following HAH's progress for a while and it is very positive to see that someone is trying to get through to the authorities on our (the public’s) behalf.

We were both looking forward to the informative meeting with the Social Services to see exactly what we are entitled to and how to

Why it all became a shambles -by Help president I AM somewhat surprised to read the comments above, especially as the lady in question asked questions on the Ley de Dependencia, the law of dependency.

She did ask about another law, but the staff did not seem to know what she was saying, possibly a language problem, not being understood.

The petition of signatures was welcomed by the staff after the meeting.

We agreed to keep the petition going for another three months to be presented in Orihuela and obviously the Valencia Health Authorities as it is a petition for a Nursing Care home with provision for hospice care.

The event became a shambles due to the lack of translators and sound system that was to be provided by the social services when the event was organised. I had to ask a volunteer of HAH CB to agree to translate and another from the Town Hall agreed to help out.

The aim of the event was that Help At Home Costa Blanca be allowed to provide FREE translators in the Civic Centre and be recognised by the Social Services Orihuela at the request of a resident of Orihuela Costa to meet to discuss the Social Welfare of citizens / residents.

I met with the Director of the Civic Centre, Carmen, after the event and confirmed that Help At Home Costa Blanca can provide FREE translators in the cafeteria area of the centre, due to there not being a room available to work from.

We agreed to start the service immediately - March 12 from 10am to 12pm.

The social worker at the centre will be able to call on the HAH CB translator should anyone not be able to afford one or turn up without a translator between 10am and 12. This service is provided FREE by Help At Home Costa Blanca.

I hope this clarifies the misunderstanding of the event. There was so much to deal with, so many people wanting answers to questions that the event will be repeated again very soon.

Thank you again for your support.

NORAH BOND, President - HAH CB

go through the correct channels to obtain it.

Let's face it, we, like others, are not getting any younger and want to stay here in Spain and not be a burden on our family in the UK. The meeting, which started off OK, quickly turned into a farce. One lady very rudely interrupted the meeting with questions she wanted answers to - none of which had anything to do with the meeting.

Then, to make matters worse, Mrs. Bond brought her own meeting to a standstill by holding up a petition and asking for signa-

tures!

I could not unfortunately understand the Spanish social workers who attended the meeting but they were certainly not happy and started packing up ready to leave.

This meeting could have been a step towards working together with Social Services. My wife said they certainly won't be in hurry to sit down with us again. What a shame!

SUE and JACK WILSON, Orihuela Costa

GREEN AND BEAR IT TIME ON THE COAST WHY has the Green Party mayor taken over the job of councillor for the coast?

Monica Lorente: Voted out as Mayor

If my memory serves me correctly the Green Party got a lot less than 200 votes. The CLR-CLARO alliance got about 10 times what the greens got.

Orihuela Costa is supposed to be a democracy so why has the man who cannot even speak English and with so few votes ignored our wishes and acted in such a high-handed fashion?

As an Orihuela Costa resident I voted for the CLRCLARO alliance. We turned out in force to get rid of Monica Lorente and her gang, to elect a team that would fight for our rights. I know that one of the elected CLRCLARO councillors resigned, maybe he was not up to the job, but if my memory serves me correctly I voted for a list of about 30 people. Could one of them not be appointed instead to the mayor trying to grab more power?

I love living in Spain, but I am not a second-class citizen. The mayor is abusing his power by imposing himself on us. He is no better than Monica Lorente or Franco.

P CLINTON, Orihuela Costa

Tony Mayes, you are called to a count...

IT WAS refreshing to read such a positive reflection of life (and work) in Spain from Donna Gee, as in ‘Every Day is a Holiday (Issue 55) With the 'crisis' in Spain, unemployment rising to five million and ex-pats struggling (those that remain), Donna is grateful of her lot - and makes no bones about it.

Being in the Media for 35 years, and still officially having 11 years before retirement, it left me to ponder: 'Am I, too, ready to a life where every day is a holiday'?

‘What's that you say?’ I hear her indoors shouting. ‘Every day is a holiday for you - in England!’ Maybe so but I want the sun, sand, sea, wine et al, to go with it. And I won't get that in England. ANDY MONTESINOS, Alicante

RE Tony Mayes article in the Courier and the sub heading ‘Out for the count’ (Issue 54): I cannot believe that you would expect someone to be able make a mental calculation of .72 X 75.

As 25 is one quarter of 100, it surely is simpler to divide 72 by 4 = 18 and either subtracting 18 from 72 or multiplying it by 3. IE 3/4 of 72. All of this can be done in the head by anyone with half a brain. Maths is relatively easy if looked at logically.

We all know that a kilometre is 5/8 of a mile.

Do you know a simple way to convert kilometres to miles in your head whilst driving? Five eighths can be broken down to 1/2 + 1/4. Therefore 100 kilometres = 62.5 miles. To break fractions into their simplest form you need to make it so that numeral and denominator can be divided by the same number, e.g. 5/8 becomes 5/10 which = 1/2. 10 – 8 =2. Two is a quarter of 8. Hence the new, easier and quicker fraction is 1/2 +1/4.

When I was in my 20s I worked in betting shops before they had calculators. To be able to settle bets at speed I went to a special school where they taught this method. On a busy day it was invaluable. Hope this is of interest.

TONY DEAN

JUST read Donna Gee’s article on 'living the dream' - it's the most upbeat and heartening article we’ve read since coming out here in 2005. Just about sums up our life here. Thanks. JIM and SANDRA EDENBROW

Taff luck Ireland, St Patrick was Welsh ON my last visit to Spain, you published my thoughts on the demise of the English language.

Well, I was back in the Costa Blanca last week and read Donna Gee’s article regarding St David and all things Welsh not being celebrated as the Irish celebrate St Patrick's Day. It's nice to see they celebrate a Welshman!

I quite agree with you (again) and we Welsh do not celebrate our patron saint as we should.

It's strange that people do not know of Wales in certain corners of the world, the USA being one. Especially as the Welsh do a lot of work there singing and acting to name but two professions.

On my travels around the world, I’ve had strange looks when I say I am from Wales, especially in the US. This apparent ignorance can be summed up by a programme on BBC Wales TV a while ago where the end credits said it had been filmed in Llanberis, Wales, England! The film was the remake of Clash of the Titans.

ROBERT OWEN (a proud Welshman), Aberdare, Wales. me of Charlotte lREMINDS Church’s introduction to

George W Bush in the States when he was US President. She insists that when she told him she was from Wales, he replied: “Wales? And which State is that in?’’ - EDITOR

Friday, March 16, 2012

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Y'arriba make a Mexican

Here's our definitive guide to the best chilli con carne, chicken fajitas, chipotle lamb, and essentials for a fiesta.

FRESH GUACAMOLE

Method

You'll never buy shop-bought again once you've made this easy guacamole recipe at home. Make sure your avocados are ripe.

1. Cut a pack of corn tortillas into triangles.

2. Spread over 2 large baking trays, brush with olive oil and bake at 180°C/fan160°C/gas 4 for 5 minutes.

Ingredients

1. 3 ripe avocados 2. Juice of 2-3 limes 3. 1 tbsp soured cream 4. ½ finely diced red onion 5. 1 diced red chilli

Method 1. Dice the avocados, put in a bowl, add lime juice and soured cream and mash with a fork. Stir in diced red onion and chilli.

Season to taste.

Chef's tip Make sure your avocados are ripe.

HOME-MADE TORTILLA CHIPS Why buy heavily processed tortilla chips when you can make your own at home in a jiffy from a humble pack of corn tortillas?

Ingredients 1. A pack of corn tortillas (available in supermarkets) 2. Olive oil

CLASSIC CHILLI CON CARNE Some purists say that beans, and even tomatoes, are not authentic additions, but a chilli con carne recipe without them would be unthinkable to most people.

Ingredients 1. 2 tbsp olive oil 2. 2 onions, finely chopped 3. 3 garlic cloves, finely chopped 4. Small bunch fresh coriander, leaves picked and kept to one side; stalks reserved 5. 2 green chillies, finely diced 6. 1-2 tsp dried red chilli flakes 7. 2 tsp ground cumin 8. 2 tsp ground cinnamon 9. 2 tsp dried oregano 10. 1kg good-quality beef mince 11. 2 tbsp tomato purée 12. 200ml red wine 13. 600g canned chopped tomatoes

14. 2 tbsp black treacle 15. About 1 litre good-quality beef stock 16. 2 red peppers, diced 17. 400g can kidney beans, drained and rinsed 18. 1 lime, cut into wedges

Method 1. Heat the olive oil in a large casserole and gently fry the onions, garlic, coriander stalks and chillies for 5 minutes until softened. Stir through the spices and oregano and cook for 2 minutes more.

2. Turn the heat up to medium-high, add the beef mince and brown it well, breaking it up with a wooden spoon. Once browned, add the tomato purée and cook over a medium heat for 2 minutes, then add the red wine, allowing it to reduce to a sticky sauce – this will take about 2 minutes.

3. Stir through the canned tomatoes and black treacle, and add enough beef stock to cover. Stir well and bring to boiling point. Put the lid on, reduce the heat and simmer for 1½ hours, stirring occasionally.

4. Remove the lid, add the red peppers and cook for a further 10 minutes. Then add the kidney beans, season really well and cook for

Friday, March 16, 2012 20 minutes more until the sauce is reduced to your liking.

Taste and adjust the heat (with chilli flakes) and seasoning.

Top with the coriander leaves and serve with steamed rice and lime wedges.

LEMON CHILLI CHICKEN FAJITAS A low-fat, low-cal moreish Mexican dish of chicken fajitas, with a lemony kick.

Ingredients 1. 4 skinless free-range chicken breasts 2. Juice of 2 lemons 3. 1 fat garlic clove, crushed 4. 1 tsp ground cumin 5. 1 tsp ground coriander 6. 1 tsp smoked hot paprika 7. ½ tsp chilli flakes (optional) 8. 3 tbsp olive oil 9. 1 each red and yellow pepper, sliced 10. 1 red onion, sliced 11. Flour tortillas, warmed, to serve For the fresh tomato salsa 1. 6 ripe vine-ripened tomatoes, chopped 2. ½ red onion, finely chopped 3. 1 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 4. Juice of ½ lime 5. Small handful fresh coriander leaves, chopped 6. Small handful fresh mint leaves, chopped

Method 1. Thickly slice the chicken breasts and place in a bowl with the lemon juice, garlic, dried spices and 2 tbsp of the olive oil. Cover and leave to marinate in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

2. Meanwhile, make the salsa. Mix everything together in a bowl, season and set aside.

3. Preheat a large griddle pan over a high heat. Season the chicken, and toss the peppers and onion in the remaining oil. Griddle the chicken for 3 minutes, turning occasionally, then add the peppers and onion and cook for a further 5 minutes until the chicken is cooked through.

4. Serve the chargrilled chicken and vegetables in tortillas, along with the fresh tomato salsa.

STICKY CHIPOTLE LAMB WITH CARAMELISED CORN Chipotle is smoked chilli, a flavour much-used in Mexican and Tex-Mex dishes. It adds a depth of flavour to this lamb dish; the caramelised corn is

an added extra.

Ingredients 1. 1 tbsp plain flour 2. 1 tsp smoked sweet paprika 3. 4 lamb leg steaks, fat trimmed and cut into 1cm cubes 4. 3 tbsp olive oil 5. 1 red onion, finely chopped 6. 1 fat garlic clove, finely chopped 7. 100g raw chorizo, cut into rounds 8. 2 tbsp chilli paste 9.

330ml bottle Mexican beer, such as Corona or Sol 10. Good dash Worcestershire sauce 11. 150g cherry tomatoes, halved 12. Handful fresh parsley leaves, roughly chopped 13. 2 corn on the cobs 14. 1 small red chilli, deseeded and finely diced 15. Grated zest of 1 lime 16. 50g softened butter 17. Tortilla chips and grated Cheddar, to serve

Method 1. Place the flour in a large bowl, stir in the paprika and season. Add the lamb and toss well to coat. Heat 1 tbsp of the olive oil in a

19 large frying pan, add the onion and garlic and soften over a gentle heat. Remove to another bowl and add the chorizo to the pan. Increase the heat to medium-high and fry until just crisp, then remove and add to the bowl of onions.

2. Add 1 tbsp oil and the seasoned lamb to the pan and fry for 5 minutes until browned all over. Return the onion and chorizo to the pan, stir in the chilli paste, to coat, and cook for 2 minutes. Pour over the beer and a dash of Worcestershire sauce, and allow the liquid to come to the boil.

3. Cover with a lid, turn the heat down and simmer for 3040 minutes until the lamb is tender and the sauce is thickened, sticky and spicy. Add a splash of water if it becomes too dry. Check the seasoning, then stir through the fresh tomatoes and chopped parsley.

4. Meanwhile, preheat a griddle pan over a high heat.

Toss the corn on the cob in the remaining 1 tbsp olive oil, and cook in the griddle pan for 15-20 minutes, turning occasionally, until tender and caramelised. Remove and, with a sharp knife, cut into thick rounds. Mix the diced chilli and grated lime zest into the softened butter and melt over the corn pieces.

5. To serve, spoon the lamb onto a bed of tortilla chips and sprinkle with grated cheese. Serve the caramelised corn alongside.

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Friday, March 16, 2012

You still have time to take advantage of the TKO BIG SALE For every advert you buy we’ll give you another one absolutly FREE!!

We are the only station on the Costa Blanca and Costa Calida that can offer you 2 services in one!

Call: 965 99 66 66 or email: advertise@tkofm.com

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips POP QUIZ March 16th Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz!

We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm.

1. Home City for Andy Fairweather Low. 2. First Sun Records recording from Roy Orbison.

3. Actress Liv Tylers Dad is with this rock band.

4. Mama Said & Soldier Boy were hits in the 60s for this girl group.

5. Heinz Burt was the bass player with this group until going solo.

6. The Everley Brothers most successful double A side was Walk Right Back with which other song.

7. Where in Surrey was the famous Crawdaddy Club.

8. In association with Atlantic Records this famous Soul label featured the likes of Booker T, Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett & many more soul legends.

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Friday, March 16, 2012

When is the best time to eat for weight loss?

Does the time that you eat make a difference to your weight loss routine, or are calories just calories anyway? The answer: it absolutely does. Your body is an active, sophisticated piece of human machinery that relies on fuel from nutrition to function. It not only matters to eat the right foods, but to eat them at the right time too.

But what is the right time? Well, that’s pretty hard to set in stone, because everybody has different daily schedules. Therefore dedicating set times would not work for everyone.

However, the best way to eat at the right times, is to start your own eating schedule and structure it around your day and weight loss goals.

If possible, you should plan your exercise routine first thing in the morning, on an empty stomach and start with your first meal of the day one hour after your exercise session. Try to keep this routine going every day for most days at least. So, let’s say you wake up at 5am and you exercise from 6am to 7am. Ideally, your breakfast should be consumed at 8am.

It is important to try and eat at the same time every day as it will help to get your body into a good routine. Following an eating routine like you would appointments in your diary will not only help to keep you sustained throughout the day, but your body will be able to function better if it knows exactly what’s coming next and at what time. Remember your body

mechanics are extremely sophisticated and when you fine tune your biological clock, you can use it to help you stay slim and happy.

The best way to eat is to consume six small, portion-sized and balanced meals at two to three hour intervals. You should eat these meals even when you're not hungry, as hunger pangs generally only occur once the body is already in starvation mode.

If we stick with the example above, you would have your second small, balanced meal at around 9am or 9.30am, the third one at 12 noon, the fourth at 2pm, the fifth 4pm and your last meal of the day at about 7pm. You should try to maintain this routine on most days without skipping meals or snacking in between.

Furthermore, if weight loss is your goal, then starving yourself won’t work either. In fact, when you starve your body you are forcing it to go into what is known as “starvation mode”. This mode increases the production of cortisol and breaks down vital muscle mass to convert it into nutrients for the body to feed off. An overproduction of cortisol leads to excess fat and a lowered muscle mass means less active compounds, which actually help in the fight against fat.

So remember, it’s not just about what you eat but how and when you eat it too!

CONSTIPATION CAUSES, SYMPTOMS AND TREATMENT

Constipation is the very common condition in which the bowels do not move often enough or are not completely emptied when they move. The number of motions required for health varies for different people. The majority of people have their bowels opened once a day; but two motions a day are quite usual, and some other people have one motion every two or three days without any apparent harmful effect on the body. Constipation is usually caused by a disorder of bowel function rather than a structural problem with the bowel. Common causes include: inadequate intake of water, inadequate fibre in the diet, a disruption of regular diet or routine, stress, resisting the urge to have a bowel movement perhaps due to the presence of haemorrhoids, eating disorders, diseases like irritable bowel syndrome and the overuse of laxatives (stool softeners). Any state of ill-health in the digestive system will, however, be made worse by constipation, and as such constipation should be treated first.

Knowing Your Skin Type

Knowing your skin type can help you to choose a moisturizer and skin products that are suitable to your skin profile.

There are four basic skin types, and these include normal, oily, dry and combination skin. Each one is identified by unique characteristics, which we will help outline in this article.

products can further irritate the skin.

Dry skin is also sensitive to the sun and is generally less prone to developing acne.

Avoid using products, which contain alcohol or fragrance as this could further irritate the skin.

Oily Skin

This is the skin most people envy. A normal skin has a good balance between oily and dry and is generally healthy looking. With normal skin, you have a clear complexion and your pores are not generally visible.

Oily skin is prone to developing blackheads and pimples as dirt clings to the oil and gets clogged in the pores, ultimately resulting in blackheads. Oily skin generally has a shiny appearance and a good cleansing product must be applied to clear out the pores.

Dry Skin

Combination Skin

Normal Skin

Dry skin requires a lot of moisturiser in order to obtain a healthy, smooth surface. Dry skin that is not moisturised can feel tight and sore. Dry skin flakes rather easily and due to its sensitivity, can often be red, itchy and irritated. Only specific products, geared towards dry skin should be used on this skin type as certain

While normal and combination skin are often thought to be the same, these two skin types are very different. Combination skin is generally the skin that is classified as having a T Zone, where the skin is oily on the forehead, down towards the nose and chin, while other regions of the face are dry.

1.) The area of skin of a typical adult is 1.7 square metres – slightly smaller than a single bed.

2.) Skin is the body's heaviest single part, or organ, with a weight of about 11 kg.

3.) Every month, there's a 'new you'. The entire outer surface of skin is replaced every four weeks.

4.) On normal healthy skin, the number of germs such as bacteria per square cm vary from 5,000 on the forearm to up to 5 million in the armpits.

5.) Most people have more hairs than a gorilla or a chimp –

about 20 million in total. The reason why we look much hairy is that our body hairs are much shorter and thinner than ape hair.

6.) Hair is amazingly strong, with a tensile (pulling) strength greater than steel wire of the same thickness.

7.) The body has about three million sweat glands.

8.) In normal conditions the body produces one-third of a litre of sweat daily.

9.) An active body in hot conditions can lose more than two or three litres of sweat through a day.

Amazing Facts About the Skin

The symptoms that can be caused by constipation are numerous. The most identifiable is an infrequent bowel motions or difficulty having bowel motions. The tongue may be furred and the breath offensive. There may also be poor appetite, giddiness, and even mental depression.

As a general rule pain is not present in constipation unless laxatives have been taken, when the pain is due to the contractions of the bowel. Any sudden or violent pain, especially with vomiting and collapse or a rise in temperature, should be attended to promptly by a doctor, as this may mean an ulceration or obstruction of the bowel. Pain at the actual moment of passing the motion may be due to piles.

The treatment of chronic constipation where there is no definite disease causing it, is the treatment of the general state of health and the regulation of the diet and daily habits. A certain amount of exercise is absolutely necessary to stimulate the liver for the production of bile which is needed for the proper digestion of food. It also goes without saying that the call to the stool should be answered as soon as it occurs. The question of diet is of course of vital importance in the treatment of constipation.

A certain amount of roughage or fibre is required to make the bowels open for excreting waste. Good sources of fibre are fruits, green vegetables, legumes, figs, prunes and whole-grain bread and cereal (especially bran).

Drinking up to 1-1.5 litres of water a day either during meals or between meals is equally very important. Liquids that contain caffeine, such as coffee and soft drinks, seem to have a dehydrating effect and may need to be avoided until bowel habits return to normal. If attention to diet, exercise and water intake do not cure the constipation, it will then be necessary to consider using a laxative after speaking to your doctor.

Please send your queries to contact@mindspa.es or to book an appointment for a full body diagnostic scan or treatment call 630 118 439 or 966 262 93

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Friday, March 16, 2012

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Friday, March 16, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Lynn wanted help with Spanish Translation on ADVICE: Tony was having problems with a lost Gmail password web email pages

Q

Hi Richard, How do I set up a translator so that I can translate emails on AOL? Lynn

A

Hi Lynn, most people find that the Google Toolbar has great translation facilities built in, here is a link to an article I’ve previously written about it and how to install it. http://www.bluemoonsolutions.es/google-toolbar/

UPDATE: Google Security Opt Out using Safari on a Mac

Q

Hi Richard. When we bought our laptop from you, you set up Live Mail. We do not have any problems accessing our emails however on occasions such as when we are on holiday we have to use the Gmail webpage. Recently my wife has not been able access her emails from the web. She has put in the last password to no avail and subsequently all previous ones. We have filled in the online forms with no luck. Our mobile phone number Gmail requested to be registered with them to receive a code is listed as incorrect. I even signed up to Twitter to use their forum. I received back an email to say the registration was successful. When we try to log in it is denied! You cannot contact Google to speak to a human. So we are at a loss as to what to do other than setting up a new email address which we don’t want to do. Many thanks Tony

A

Hi Tony, the only option you have if you have forgotten the password is to follow the Gmail lost password process, it’s usually pretty straight forward and doesn’t involve setting up a Twitter account so I’m not sure why you were asked to do that? The website that handles lost username and password queries for Google has a very long URL (Internet name) so I have shortened it to http://tinyurl.com/gmail-lost-password - have a look at that site and see if you can do it from there.

Update: I received this helpful email from Les regarding the advice we gave to opt out FIXED: Lee was having problems with his laptop connecting to the Internet of the Google privacy changes.

Hi Richard, I am getting an Hi Richard - re Courier March 2, 2012, How much does Goole know about you? error message on my laptop I was trying to "remove all Web History" in google, & having trouble finding "3. Profile saying there is a conflict with IP And Privacy" addresses and I cannot log on After much poking around I reset the page to, see below: to the Internet. Do you have any ideas?

"Looking for older account options and your Google Products?

Hi Lee, yes this is a pretty Visit the previous version of the Google accounts screen." straight forward one where I was then able to log onto dashboard & continue. there are more than one comI am using Safari on a MacBook. puter in the house connecting to Thanks for the article, hope this all makes sense. the Internet, sometimes more than one computer will get given the same IP address (the ‘unique’ number that allows you to commuDon’t forget you can follow me on twitter nicate with the Internet), this results in a conflict and usually the easiest way to resolve the @bluemoonspain conflict is to restart your computer, so try that first. If it happens often then we may need to look at changing some of the settings on your router.

Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my

Q A

newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Who is St. Patrick Anyway?

According to the World Book, St. Patrick lived about 389-461A.D., and is the patron saint of Ireland.

Patrick was chiefly responsible for converting the Irish people to Christianity. He became known as the Apostle to the Irish.

His Latin name is Patricius.

Patrick was born in Britian. His father was a wealthy alderman and a Christian.

When Patrick was 16 years old, pirates captured him during a raid and sold him as a slave in Ireland.

He served as a shepherd of an Irish Chieftain in Ulster.

During his captivity, he dedicated himself to religion. After 6 years of slavery he escaped and returned home to Britian.

As a result of his experiences in Ireland, Patrick became driven by the idea of converting the Irish to Christianity. To prepare

himself for the task, he studied in the monastery of Lerins, an island off the coast of France. He also went to Auxerre, France and studied religion under Saint Germanus, a French Bishop. Partly because

Patrick's earlier education was inadequate, his reli-

gious superiors were reluctant to let him return to Ireland as a missionary.

After Palladius, the first Irish missionary bishop died in 431, Pope Celestine I sent Patrick to Ireland.

Patrick began his work where no one had ever preached Christianity. He gained the trust and friendship of several tribal leaders and soon made many converts.

He is said to have founded more than 300 churches and baptized more than 120,000 people.

He brought clergymen from England and France for his new churches.

He succeeded in his mission to Ireland, even though many British clergymen opposed him and the way he organized the churches. Patrick preached in Ireland for the rest of his life.

Several of Patricks writing have survived and serve as the most important sources of information about his work and life. Patrick wrote "Confession", an account of his spiritual developement.

In it he justified his mission to Ireland, and expressed his humility and thankfulness that God had called him to serve the Irish.

Patrick also wrote a letter to Coroticus, in which he criticized a raid on Ireland conducted by Coroticus, a British chieftain. During the raid, several of Patrick's converts were killed. The letter also reflects Patrick's resentment of the scornful

attitude of British clergymen and nobility toward the Irish.

Where is St. Patrick Buried?

One legend has it that he was buried in the same grave as St. Bridget and St. Columba, at Downpatrick, County Down. The jawbone of St. Patrick was believed to be preserved in a silver

shrine and was often requested in times of childbirth, epileptic fits and as a preservative against the evil eye. Another legend says St. Patrick ended his days at Glastonbury and was buried there. The Chapel of St. Patrick still exists as part of Galstonbury Abbey. There is evidence of an Irish pilgrimage to his tomb during the

reign of the Saxon King Ine in A.D. 688, when a group of pilgrims headed by St. Indractus were murdered.

The great anxiety displayed in the middle ages to possess the bodies, or at least the relics of saints, accounts for the many discrepant traditions as to the burial places of St. Patrick and others.

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Friday, March 16, 2012

SPAIN’S HEADLINES

UNION CHIEFS’ CALL IS ‘EVERYBODY OUT’

CNN

SPAIN'S two main unions have called for a general strike on March 29 to protest the government’s labour reforms and austerity cuts.

‘Gump’ in 400-mile blast at Spanair El Pais

A PROTESTER who ran 400 miles to bring attention to the recent shutdown of It will be the first general strike against the current governairline Spanair, where he worked, has ment. The last such action, in September 2010, was against been renamed ‘the Spanish Forrest the then-Socialist regime, which had also initiated austerity Gump’. measures. That strike slowed industry and transport, but Lennart Cromstedt didn’t stop runmuch of the country went to work and many analysts saw it ning for 15 days. He set out from as a kind of a draw between the government and unions.

Barcelona and reached Madrid two Since then, the economic crisis has deepened. Spain’s weeks later, flinging his running shoes jobless rate is nearly 23 per cent, and nearly 50 per cent for around the famous bear statue in youngsters. Nearly 5.3 million Spaniards are out of work.

Madrid’s Puerta del Sol Square.

Union protests across the nation last month drew large He also raised funds for a colleague crowds, which analysts say emboldened the unions to move who is suffering from cancer. “Spanair ahead with a general strike.

The government says the latest labour reforms are needed HERO: Madrid welcomes Lennart Cromstedt after his 15-day ordeal stopped paying the insurance,” he explained. to bring flexibility to the workplace and to simplify the rules for Although he is a regular employers. But unions say runner, the 43-year-old the effect will be to make it admits that he was on the easier and cheaper to fire verge of quitting three days workers. The two main unions before reaching his destinathe Socialist-leaning tion. “But with all these people General Workers Union and around, you forget your sufthe Communist-leaning fering,” says Cromstedt, who Workers Commissions once competed in the Israeli announced the general strike. in my career, including the Ironman triathlon event.

A SPANISH woman has The unions called on the El Pais chance to drive the new become one of only a hand“He is the Spanish Forrest government to make amendcar later in the year at the Gump,” says a former coljoining the Marussia F1 ful of female drivers in the ments as the bill moved Team test driver pro- Abu Dhabi test. I will be league of Cromstedt, who ran world of Formula 1. through parliament. But María de Villota will form gramme," she said in a joining the team trackside over 46 kilometres a day on Thursday parliament after the so I'm looking forward to more than a marathon - with part of the testing team for statement approved the reforms working alongside them at one day’s rest in Zaragoza. announcement was made. the Marussia team, known unchanged. The governthe first race next weekend Despite the effort, "This is a fantastic until this season as Virgin. ment says the labour reforms and this can only help my Cromstedt has not lost make up only a portion of the Villota, 31, is the daugh- opportunity to work closefuture ambition to step up weight: “Barely one kilo, since elements needed to spur an ter of former Formula 1 ly with a Formula 1 team to Formula 1 racing."

I am used to running on a regand gain important experieconomic recovery. It predriver Emilio de Villota.

De Villota is taking on ular basis.” ence to help me progress dicts a 1.7 per cent decline in "I am very happy to be the challenge after María de Villota When he finally reached the economy this year. spending three Puerta del Sol, more than seasons racing in 500 Spanair ex-workers and the Superleague onlookers were waiting. the list, Formula, an openon s ual ivid ind of As he was running The number ion or more, has wheel single-seater Cromstedt reflected on his with fortunes of $1 bill all the ed join e e Th hav is s El Pa c h a m p i o n s h i p future. He worked for Spanair 10 to 1,226.

TWO more Spaniard also risen, from 1,2 mega-rich on the ded by Mexico’s where many of the for 25 years and his partner en such as Zara owner hea ym ntr in cou aga ranks of the world’s is ow g fell kin ran by teams were sponby Forbes magaworld’s fifth richest ($69 billion), followed annual list compiled Amancio Ortega - the - and Carlos Slim ) sored by soccer also worked for the airline. m 14 to 16. ion ion fro bill bill ber 1 .5 ($6 num $37 of tes the e Ga ing tun zine, rais Microsoft founder Bill “At our age, the possibilities com- man with a for in and cha g ing thin min clo of ). es, clubs.

Daniel Baden n Buffett ($44 billion k Andic of the Mango rre Isa Wa l and brie of finding a job are increasingGa and b. re, the exclusive clu De Villota raced ly low. That’s why I have cried, modities trader Glenco join ($4.8 billion) in in, cha el hot lía Me for Atlético Madrid. sung and yelled a lot in the Escarrer, of the

Racy blonde Maria follows dad’s footsteps as F1 driver

rich a g e m g n o m a e c la p Spaniards win

28

Friday, March 16, 2012

WHAT THE UK

YOBS SET TO COP CANNON POWER EVERY police force could have access to a water cannon within months as police chiefs vow to prevent a repeat of last summer's riots.

Daily Mail

breaks of violence.

Chief constables are also considering Senior officers are demanding the 'valu- whether tear gas and Taser stun guns could able' crowd control weapons, previously be used to restore order. deployed by UK police only in Northern It would be the first time that any of the Ireland, and the Government has signalled three weapons have been used for crowd that it will foot the bill. control on the British mainland, and would Three of the fearsome £1.3million represent a dramatic escalation in the machines could be held at strategic loca- armoury available for tackling mass disortions to provide fast response to any out der. But critics said the move risks further transforming the police into a Daily Mirror 'paramilitary force'.

It came as the Metropolitan Police published a review of the four days of rioting that shamed the nation last August. a few rare situations'.

The Met also revealed that Officers gave accounts of Experts say the machines a national review is taking A POLICE officer committed suicide after being arrested for how they heroically confrontare too slow-moving to have place over whether Taser downloading child pornography, an inquest heard today. ed rampaging mobs with limitSergeant John Skilling, 50, who served with ed equipment and no back- been deployed effectively stun guns could be fired durGloucestershire Police, was on bail after being questioned by up. Some admitted they during the fast-moving August ing riots and disorder. Police his own force investigating the trade in child sex abuse ima- feared for their lives and, riots, and need to be refilled are currently banned from ges. hopelessly outnumbered, frequently, but their use could using the 50,000-volt The body of Mr Skilling was discovered on the morning of were forced to leave homes be considered in static or weapons in public order slow-moving clashes, for November 20 last year by a and businesses to burn. clashes because of the danfamily friend in the garage of Senior officers also threw example when high-profile gers of firing into a crowd. locations come under siege. his home in Hucclecote, their weight behind the introPolice chiefs are also The Government has sigGloucester, the county's coro- duction of water cannon to the examining whether tear gas ner's court heard. streets of England and Wales. nalled it will foot the bill for the The day before his death Mr The report said the Met water cannon if police can canisters could be set off as Skilling told his children he has concluded that 'water demonstrate they would be a a 'last resort' to disperse was planning a night out with cannon would be valuable in cost-effective national asset. crowds. friends and they should sleep at their friends' homes.

Gregory Owen discovered the policeman's body having UNEMPLOYMENT in the UK has hit a near been alerted by Mr Skilling's eldest daughter.

The Sun The inquest heard that Mr Skilling's wife had died from 17-year high — as the number of public seccancer when their two children were young and since then tor workers tumbles to the lowest level for a growing fears about "under-employed" Brits forced to take temp jobs or lower salaries as he had brought them up alone, suffering bouts of depression decade.

Official figures show the number of people they struggle to land a full-time job. and drinking heavily.

Britain's part-time workforce swelled to In the weeks before he died, Mr Skilling, who had served out of work in Britain rose 28,000 in the three almost 7.9million in the three months. And with Gloucestershire Police for over 20 years, had told his months to January, to almost 2.7million.

There are 270,000 fewer public sector the number of people forced into part-time GP he had trouble sleeping and was seeking professional help from an alcohol service. jobs than a year ago, while the number of jobs because they cannot find a full-time role A post-mortem examination found he died from a "high private sector jobs being created climbed to is 1.4million — the highest since records level" of carbon monoxide poisoning. almost 230,000. But experts said there were began. Pay is rising by just 1.7 per cent.

Cop on child porn charge kills himself

Unemployment highest since 1995

The Sun

Tragedy as Leonie, 12 is killed by rugby ball A 12-YEAR-OLD Essex girl died on Tuesday after being hit in the chest by a rugby ball.

Leonie Nice (pictured above) was apparently catching the ball during a PE lesson when it hit her and she fell over — appearing to have a fit.

Emergency services were called to Woodlands Comprehensive School in Basildon just before noon but Leonie died shortly after being taken to hospital.

A spokesman for East of England Ambulance Service said: "The ambulance crew arrived at the scene within one minute and found the girl in a critical condition.

“Following rapid treatment and stabilisation, she was taken to an awaiting medical team at Basildon Hospital where sadly she died shortly after."

Andy White, headteacher at Woodlands, paid tribute to Year Seven pupil Leonie as a "promising, delightful and kind girl".

He said: "Our thoughts and prayers are with her family at this time. Leonie will be greatly missed by all the staff and pupils.’’

Friday, March 16, 2012

TABLOIDS SAY

Blonde assassin adds spice to Sugar show Tycoon is seeking aggressive business partner Daily Express A WRESTLER, a showjumper and a “Blonde Assassin” are among the 16 ambitious contestants aiming to win the next series of The Apprentice.

Lord Sugar, who has offered to plough £250,000 into the winner’s business idea, says he is looking for “the Lennon to my McCartney”.

In typically abrasive style, the 64-year-old tycoon warns the wannabes: “Don’t try and hide.

We’re not playing Where’s Wally? here. I’m not looking for Lord Lucan, I’m looking for somebody who is going to put themselves forward and show me they have the aggression and business acumen to be my partner.”

And he adds: “If I wanted a friend, I’d get a dog.”

The eighth series of the hit BBC1 show starts next Wednesday at 9pm. Nick Hewer and Karren Brady return as advisers, whittling down contestants.

The candidates include 26-yearold recruitment manager Ricky Martin, who is a wrestler in the evening and at weekends. “I truly am the reflection of perfection,” boasts Ricky, from Hampshire.

Katie Wright, a 26-year-old editorial and research director, says:

“If I wanted a friend, I’d get a dog,” says Lord Sugar “I would call myself ‘The Blonde Assassin’. I let people underestimate me just so I can blow them out of the water.”

Risk analyst Bilyana Apostolova, 25, “got myself from a Communist block of flats in Bulgaria to the top of a skyscraper in the heart of London”. She started her career at age six, collecting snails to sell to pharmaceutical companies.

The series also features Jenna Whittingham, a 25-year-old Lancashire beauty salon owner who competes in showjumping events and Laura Hogg, 28, a bridal shop owner and former skater who once appeared on the ice with Torvill and Dean.

29

TRAGIC TODDLER DIES IN FALL WHILE MUM’S AWAY IN NEW YORK A TWO-YEAR-OLD girl died after falling down the stairs and banging her head while her mother was away in New York.

The woman's partner had been looking after the child at their home in Ashton-under-Lyne, Greater Manchester.

The girl's mother had just touched down at New York's JFK Airport when she was told what had happened - and she immediately flew back to Britain.

The girl, who has not been named, was rushed to hospital where she was put on a life support machine after suffering a severe head injury when she fell at around 12.45am on Saturday.

She was pronounced dead shortly after 7pm on Sunday.

Daily Mail A spokesman for Greater Manchester Police said today: “Shortly before 12.45am on Saturday police were called by Greater Manchester Ambulance Service to an incident in Ashtonunder-Lyne.

“A two-year-old girl was reported to have fallen down the stairs, sustaining a head injury. The young girl was taken to hospital, but sadly died at 7.20pm on Sunday.

“An investigation into the circumstances of this incident are ongoing.”

A post-mortem examination revealed that the girl died from a head injury.

eat h c t fi e n e b r fo e m ti Payback The Sun ter ed whizzing down a wa s cheat who was film . led A DISABILITY benefit swind pay back £16,000 she to walk slide has been told to she needed crutches d ime cla ed) tur (pic a court y, ida hol Tina Attanasio, 51, ury on a lux t of physical activities bing clim her d but she enjoyed a hos we sho es heard. Tap g lkin wa and l out of a swimming poo and ps ste s, hill d ble unaided up cob rn France. along a beach in southe dge said: Ge Prosecutor Nicholas help getded nee “You claimed you ld only cou you and , bed ting out of ling fee e for walk 10 metres be eos vid se the but t severe discomfor

ided, climbing show you walking una ter slides.” wa on and ps steep ste d at Cardiff itte adm The mum of two to wrongly ber cem De in rt crown cou allowance ng livi claiming disability the film to sed pas er lov er after a form . benefits investigators weeks but She was jailed for 10 ek for a we this rt was back in cou at which ring hea e crim of proceeds k most bac pay to she was ordered d. ime cla she 0 ,00 of the £19

Face of accused teen killer: Otak faces double murder rap THIS is the first picture of Ahmad Otak, the 18-year-old charged with murdering two teenage girls and kidnapping a third.

Otak is accused of fatally stabbing Kimberley Frank, 17, and her friend Samantha Sykes, 18, on March 9.

The teenager is then alleged to have assaulted and unlawfully impri-

Daily Mirror soned Kimberley’s sister, Elisa Frank, detaining her against her will.

It is claimed that after the killings in Wakefield, West Yorks, on Friday he took 19-year-old Elisa 250 miles away to Dover.

Elisa is understood to have aler-

ted Kent Police and on Saturday morning West Yorkshire Police discovered the bodies of her sister and friend in a flat in the Eastmoor district of Wakefield.

Dark-haired Otak appeared at Wakefield magistrates court yesterday wearing blue trousers and a blue sweater, flanked by a security guard.

He is charged with two counts of murder on March 9 and also the unlawful imprisonment and kidnap of Elisa between March 9 and March 11.

He spoke only to confirm his name and address before his case was committed to Leeds crown court.

30

Friday, March 16, 2012 Friday, December 16, 2011

It costs HOW much?

Real-world cars get plenty of attention at Geneva as the public get the chance to see their next purchases in all their glory. But no one can resist a bit of fantasy shopping and this year’s show was packed with wallet-busting choices.

Koenigsegg Agera R Koenigsegg has never made a sane car in its entire history – it has Veyron-matching performance but with only two driven wheels. The 2012 Agera R has hollow carbon-fibre wheels (which would be terrifyingly expensive if you kerbed one) more power – 1,124bhp – and a claimed top speed of 273mph. Hardly surprising this level of lunacy costs money; expect to start negotiations at around £1.25million.

Brabus GV12 800 what you want then try the Flying Star, just 20 examples of which will be built by design house Touring Superleggera.

With a two-metre load space and an electric tailgate, prices are “according to the buyer’s demands” – so you’ll need over £100,000 just to get started.

Bentley Flying Star If you’re in the market for a Bentley then it’s fair to assume that you don’t mind paying extra to get exactly what you want, but sometimes even your demands may make the Crewe folk scratch their collective heads. If more space is

Pagani Huyara The Pagani Zonda is no more, with the even crazier Huyara to go in its place. More carbon fibre, more power and active aerodynamics to improve performance. It doesn’t go on sale until 2013 but that still might not be enough time to save; £880,000 is only enough for the standard version…

If you’ve not heard of Brabus, think of them as the evil twin of Mercedes performance brand AMG. They specialise in stuffing unfeasibly powerful engines into already-powerful AMG models – if it’s improbable and outrageous then they’ll have a go. The GV12 800 inserts the twinturbocharged V12 under the bonnet of the G-Wagen 4x4 to give 789bhp and a limited maximum torque of 811lb.ft. This kind of madness starts at a trifling £364,000.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Mansory GTC

31

Rolls Royce Phantom II Meanwhile the Maybach’s arch-rival over the Rolls-Royce stand has plutocrats forming an orderly queue. The Phantom II has a few minor exterior tweaks but the overall shape remains just on the right side of imposing, while underneath there’s a new gearbox and small efficiency improvements. Not that this will bother you if you can run to the expected price of almost £300,000.

What is it about Bentleys that seem to attract those with questionable taste? If a regular GTC isn’t to your taste then there are plenty of firms that will load it up with extras, like Mansory. There’s a carbon-fibre body kit, massive 22in wheels, an extra 100bhp brought about by engine tweaks and as for the cabin, essentially anything goes. With the standard car costing £150,000, you can easily spend half as much again – or more.

Disco Volante 2012

Rent or buy – you’re really motoring with F & C Range Rover Autobiography Is there such a thing as a sensible car for the super-rich? Well if any car can be such an oxymoron it’s the Range Rover Autobiography. It’s as classy and impressive as it’s always been (bar the slightly garish LED lights) and in Autobiography form has the mighty supercharged V8 under the bonnet. It’s loaded with kit as standard but you can add to the £87,000 list price to your heart’s content.

Those crazy folk at Touring Superleggera are at it again. This time they will create for you homage to a classic 1952 Alfa C52 Disco Volante, but before they do that you have to hand over your Alfa 8C. That will have cost you £100,000 to start with, and then Touring Superleggera will spend six months fitting a hand-crafted aluminium and carbon-fibre body. Don’t expect change out of £100,000.

Maybach 57S

Aston Martin Zagato It’s not unreasonable to expect an Aston Martin V12 to cost serious money, but even fans of the brand would wince at the sticker price of this particular version. Based on the Vantage V12, the Zagato adds a bespoke aluminium body and a whole heap of money to the asking price. A regular V12 Vantage costs £135,000, but the Zagato is almost £400,000.

The end is officially nigh for the Maybach, as Mercedes-Benz has decided that its super-luxury saloon isn’t the sales success that it could have been. Still, it took to the stand at Geneva as one of the most expensive production cars that money can buy. £318,620 gets you that rarefied name and the most luxurious cabin, but unfortunately it doesn’t buy you class.

F & C RentaCar is a well-known local car rental company on Urbanisation La Marina established in 1993. We have other offices in Gran Alacant, Torrevieja Costa, La Regia, Villamartin and Camposol, and also operate from Alicante & Murcia airports, and in the near future, the new airport based at Corvera. We are pleased to inform all of our clients, old and new, that we are now based next to Habaneras Shopping Centre in Torrevieja Town centre where we are specializing in van rental and the buying and selling of used cars at competitive prices.

We believe that having local offices, in addition to our dedicated reservations team, and internet booking system, enables us to provide a very flexible and personal service.

The level of our returning customers is testament to the quality of service that we provide to our clients.

We have recently increased our range of models, so there is a car to suit all needs in our fleet which ranges from small economy cars, including automatic models to larger vehicles with 7 or 9 seats. Because we update our fleet regularly we always have quality ex rental cars for sale with transfer of ownership included.

F & C have always been very competitive on

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The company boasts friendly, helpful and professional staff whose languages include Spanish, English, German and Dutch. Office opening hours are Monday-Friday 09:3014:15 and 17:00-19:30 and Saturdays 09:30-14:15.Our airport service operates 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Booking a car with F & C is easy, it can be done in person at one of the offices, by phone, fax or email to info@fcrentacar.com but the most popular way to reserve your car is through the website www.fcrentacar.com or to call our reservations team on 966 796 044.

32

Friday, March 16, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 5 represents P and 8 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 7 Relating to dogs (6) 8 Filled with fear (6) 9 Rub with a circular motion (4) 10 Definite (8) 11 Quicksilver (7) 13 Put off to some other time (5) 15 Hints (5) 17 Rubeola (7) 20 Endless (8) 21 Wash with a mop (4) 22 Fanatic (6) 23 County in southeastern England (6)

Down 1 Spitefulness (6) 2 Dressed skin of an animal (4) 3 Destructively out of control (7) 4 Glazed yeast-raised doughnut-shaped roll with hard crust (5) 5 Athlete's footwear (8) 6 Godlike (6) 12 Believable (8) 14 Let go (7) 16 Loiter (6) 18 Type of paint (6) 19 Runs rampant (5) 21 Make children (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Defect, 4 Finish, 9 Stammer, 10 Again, 11 Gorse, 12 Sterile, 13 Bluebottles, 18 Centaur, 20 Alter, 22 Elect, 23 Cohabit, 24 Mantra, 25 Bakery.

Down: 1 Design, 2 Flair, 3 Compete, 5 Irate, 6 Imagine, 7 Hinder, 8 Aristocracy, 14 Lantern, 15 Trachea, 16 Scream, 17 Pretty, 19 After, 21 Table.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Weapon that might harm a girl (7) 5 Unfortunate tourist is left off the coach (5) 8 Leave behind an awful national debt without a title (7) 9 Movements one might expect from bounders (5) 10 Map the French tree (5) 11 Pressure sonnet I rewrote (7) 12 A beast of burden is the first to help (6) 14 Scottish food provided by crones entertaining an American soldier (6) 17 Fashions scare ET (7) 19 Strike a chord in Harry S Truman's speech (5) 22 Die surrounded by gold? Goodbye (5) 23 Hesitation before a certain deletion (7) 24 Scots' incorrect prices (5) 25 Compositions from Stones' new leader (7)

Down 1 Holds as much as my opening (5) 2 Travel on foot when public transport has small change (5) 3 Talk to an audience on where one lives (7) 4 Arranged stay in, it's good sense (6) 5 Al not mixed up with The Claw (5) 6 Making fun of the rearranged seating (7) 7 Begrudges missing the first gifts (7) 12 Extremely old bill includes restoration of chair (7) 13 Classes potential church spies (7) 15 Refrain from crab's tainted meat (7) 16 Headstart in user's guides (6) 18 Roy leaves mixed yoghurts for hooligans (5) 20 Become active in humorous entertainment (5) 21 Complies with crossword compiler and French Society (5)

STANDARD CLUES

25 Poems (7) Down 1 Gaping hollow (5) 2 Vagrant (5) 3 Speech (7) 4 Normality (6) 5 Hooked claw (5) 6 Taunting (7) 7 Begrudges (7) 12 Old-fashioned (7) 13 Forms (7) 15 Go without (7) 16 Doorkeepers (6) 18 Hoodlums (5) 20 Awaken (5) 21 Encounters (5)

Across 1 Short, heavy, curved sword (7) 5 Teacher (5) 8 Desert (7) 9 Jumps off (5) 10 Flowering tree (5) 11 Tightness (7) 12 Help (6) 14 Scottish dish (6) 17 Makes (7) 19 Sound the strings of a guitar (5) 22 Farewell (5) 23 Rubbing out (7) 24 Prices (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Dive, 3 Toeholds, 9 Rallied, 10 Urban, 11/5 Beach house, 12 Alerts, 14 Excise, 16 Stereo, 19 Behead, 21 Mop up, 24 Amigo, 25 Entitle, 26 Entreats, 27 Hose.

Down: 1 Durables, 2 Villa, 4 Ordeal, 6 Lobster, 7 Sang, 8 Niches, 13 Complete, 15 Chemist, 17 Tempts, 18 Oddest, 20 Erode, 22 Patio, 23 Take.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words See Kits Items Aid Tee Meld Tibia Ale 4 letter words Need 7 letter words Ave Acre Oral Anoraks Chi Acts Orca Splints Dos Afro Peri 8 letter words Dye Agog Read Ablative Ewe Airs Sash Forelegs Fad Arco Shew 9 letter words Fat Area Shot Alabaster Fee Aria Spas Cafeteria Moa Arts Torn Fastening Mum Arum Tosh Governess One Dens 5 letter words 13 letter word Ore Edge Anvil Unbelievingly Rev Gaol Aster Rig Help Great Run Info Idiot

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 To drink (imbibe liquid) (5) 4 Grandmother 9 Sunflower 10 Spikenard 11 Juguetes 12 Haricot beans 13 Ganar (competición, partido, premio, guerra) 14 Water 16 Trapos (usados, raídos) 18 Year 20 Bulletin (publicación informativa) 21 Useful (information, advice, tool) 24 Sobrina

25 Esmeralda 26 Escaso 27 Pans (large pots) Down 1 Moustache (6) 2 Baya 3 Subida (de precio) 5 Banker 6 Pendiente (arête) 7 Despertar (sentimiento) 8 Limpio (casa, cuarto) 13 Camarera 15 Biscuit (sweet) 17 Fertilisers (for soil, land) 18 Ira (de persona) 19 Hojas (de hierba) 22 Pista (rastro) 23 Zeal

33

Friday, March 16, 2012 Across 1 Which port on the east coast of Sicily shares its name with a city in New York State, to the south-east of Lake Ontario?

(8) 7/11 Which former British world boxing champion was nicknamed the Hitman? (5,6) 8 Which is the lowest female singing voice? (9) 9 Which alcoholic spirit is distilled from sugar-cane residues or molasses? (3) 10 What name is given to a flowering plant's unit of reproduction, capable of developing into another such plant? (4) 11 See 7 13 Oil, extracted from the shells of which edible kidneyshaped nut is used as a lubricant, an insecticide and in the production of plastics?

(6) 14 The name of which peppermint-flavoured boiled sweet is also used to describe a hypocrite? (6) 17 Which frozen dessert is known as granita in Italian? (6) 18/21 Which painting by Leonardo da Vinci is also referred to as La Gioconda? (4,4) 20 What was the forename of the US lawman who killed the outlaw Billy the Kid? (3) 22 Which Elton John song, a double A-side with Healing Hands, topped the British singles charts in 1990? (9) 23 Which unit of radioactivity is equal to the amount of a radioactive isotope that decays at the rate of 37,000,000,000 disintegrations per second? (5) 24 What was the nationality of the mountaineer Tenzing Norgay, who, along with Sir Edmund Hillary were the first

Quiz Word

men to reach the summit of Mount Everest in 1953? (8) Down 1 What was the surname of the actor who played the Spanish waiter Manuel in the comedy series Fawlty Towers?

SUDOKU

(5) 2 Ibrox Park is the home ground of which Scottish football team? (7) 3 My Best Friend's Girl and Drive were both British top 10 hit singles for which American group? (4) 4 Derived from the Latin for wood, which adjective is often used in literature or poetry to describe a pleasantly rural or pastoral scene? (6) 5 Which smooth oval nut in a rough cup-like base is the fruit of the oak tree? (5) 6 Cheyenne is the capital of which west central US state? (7) 7 What name is given to a raised platform on which a person stands to make a public speech, receive an award or medal, play music, or conduct an orchestra? (7) 12 What was the surname of the British music hall performer who was best known for his comic song The Laughing Policeman? (7) 13 Which BBC soap opera that ran from January 1962 to July 1965, was set in the offices of a women's magazine? (7) 15 Br is the chemical symbol for which dark red fuming toxic liquid with a choking irritating smell? (7) 16 Which grass with wide flat leaves is cultivated in Europe and America for permanent pasture and hay and for lawns?

(6) 17 What surname connects a famous drummer, Green Bay Packers' quarterback Bart and US outlaw Belle? (5) 19 What was the name of dancer Fred Astaire's sister, with whom he he formed a double act in 1906? (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH RELACIONES - RELATIONSHIPS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

HISTORY QUIZ 1. Who Became President Of France After Charles De Gaulle?

2. Who was poisoned, shot and drowned in the Neva River in 1916?

3. Who Founded The Open University?

4. 'What hath God Wrought' was first message sent by whom, in 1844?

5. In 1656, Christian Huygens invented what type of timekeeper?

6. Who sold Louisiana to the USA in 1803?

7. Who was the first French women's designer, to design for men?

8. What Did Lord Carnavon & Howard Carter Discover In 1922?

9. What name was given to the Allied invasion of North Africa in 1942?

10. Oklahoma statehood in 1907 became a sure thing. in part due to the discovery of what?

11. In sailing ship days who often acted as the ship's doctor?

1. Georges Pompidou 2. Rasputin 3. Harold Wilson 4.

Samuel Morse Washington to Baltimore 5. Pendulum clock 6. Napoleon 7. Pierre Cardin 8. The Tomb Of Tutankhamen 9. Operation Torch 10. oil 11. Cook

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 7 Sloop, 8 Lena Horne, 9 Tin, 10 Troy, 11 Naseby, 13 Cantor, 14 Hammer, 17 Gounod, 20 Ear, 22 Britannia, 23 Imago, 24 Menelaus.

Down: 1 Pilot, 2 Rangoon, 3 Echo, 4 Atrial, 5 Monty, 6/1A Spencer Perceval, 7 Senegal, 12 Columbo, 13 Coterie, 15 Miranda, 16 Bodice, 17/18 Great Trek, 19 Keats, 21 Babe.

s r o z i t u a b e r x n r c

17.madre-soltera, 18.confiar, 19.compartir, 20.ligue. a.fiance, b.baby-sitter, c.new-boyfriend/girlfriend, d.christening, e.partner, f.friendship, g.to flirt, h.best man, i.to live together, j.to share, k.to pull,

m e y c e x t a a d l s p j p o y x a y k d a i e a a f a s n i l s a m g k s y r r d e o a j z a a i u r a e n r s t l a d r r o n a z j s i r a r e t l o s e r d a m n u a h i c g v s e o z p r o b o f o l r u c d m e r i m n b c o n f i a r a f o v o a m i s t a d t d n i m i e n a m o r a d a n e f e v e u g i l v j e o y e c t n e h m j x h g a e b b s i o i t r a p m o c j v r g d c w v o r u g n a c z j q o f Soduko

Span - Eng

l.to trust, m.in love, n.bridesmaid, o.to feel jealous, p.to fall in love, q.to get married, r.pregnant, s.single mother, t.wedding.

Answers: 1f, 2k, 3p, 4m, 5g, 6o, 7a, 8e, 9g, 10t, 11u, 12h, 13r, 14b, 15d, 16i, 17s, 18l, 19j, 20c.

1.amistad, 2.ligar, 3.enamorarse, 4.enamorada, 5.flirtear, 6.sentir-celos, 7.prometido, 8.pareja, 9.casarse, 10.boda, 11.dama-de-honor, 12.padrino, 13.embarazada, 14.canguro, 15.bautizo, 16.convivir,

amistad

enamorada

bautizo

enamorarse

boda

flirtear

canguro

ligar

casarse

ligue

compartir

madre-soltera

confiar

padrino

convivir

pareja

dama-de-honor

prometido

embarazada

sentir-celos

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, March 16, 2012

Horoscopes

By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 You dig? Your brother is heavy, no matter what you hear on the radio today. After a car crash you will see a light at the end of a tunnel. Do not be vexed, this only means the car is facing the other way. Be playful at heart and you'll reap the reward of having more friends under the age of 10. You are not a sham, nor are you a mockery

I dread her visits HELLO Rose, I know this sounds really horrible but I really can't stand my boyfriend’s daughter. I'm 19 years old and my partner is in his late 20's. We have been together for nearly a year now and live together and on some occasions his 6 year old daughter comes to stay.

She is really loud, hyper and very unruly. I feel that I can't say anything to her because she is not my child and I'm scared that my boyfriend may get upset with me if I do.

My boyfriend spoils her a lot which is okay I suppose as he only sees her when he's not working but she has started to become really rude and demanding. She snatches and cries all the time when things don't go her way. I really can't take it anymore.

I dread when she comes over and I don't know how to act around her. When she's here I just lock myself in the bathroom or make up excuses about being ill. I know it sounds really childish because she's only 6 but it’s really bad.

Another thing that happened recently is that she has become extremely jealous of the fact that her father and I are together. She constantly tells her dad that he should leave me and go back to her mum and on Valentine’s Day I bought my boyfriend a card and she ripped it up in little pieces. Of course my boyfriend doesn't tell her off so I end up having to push my feelings aside and act like nothing is wrong.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Speaking to my boyfriend about it is out of the question because I know he won't change. Please can you help me because I hate the fact that I dread her visits.

JANINE Guardamar Hello Janine. She is a 6 year old girl who is demanding the attention of her Dad. She will do positive and negative things to get it. I am sorry that she is putting you through the grinder.

I can understand her Dad spoiling her. I get the feeling that he needs to put down some rules for behaviour. He should have told her off about the card.

You will need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. It is not fair that

Taurus April 20 - May 20 The accuracy of any horoscope today will be directly related to the number of things you do today. A skydiving accident may befall you if you go skydiving. Alternatively, it may not.

The chances are that staying at home and doing the same things as every other day will not harm your chances of having a good day.

Gemini May 21 - June 20

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es you feel rubbish. Otherwise this is going to continue.

This has to be addressed.

How do I apologise?

HI Rose. I have bipolar disorder and, while I was having a manic episode, I said that my friend's boyfriend was hanging around with "whores" (he was actually only speaking to other girls, but I made it out to be much more than it should have been). I told him to stop hanging around with these girls because they probably had STDs. I didn't actually know any of the girls, nor had I seen/met/talked to them, but my friend told me her boyfriend was ignoring her and, being manic, I kicked off. Anyway, her boyfriend told one of these girls that I had being saying stuff about me and a few days later she started sending me threats. I tried to apologise, but I don't want this girl knowing I have bipolar because I don't trust her and also I don't think it's a very good excuse for me being a b****. I tried explaining that the comments weren't aimed at anybody in particular, I was just mad, and that I was sorry I said it and that I hurt her feelings.

However, she doesn't actually believe that I'm sorry and just keeps sending me threats. Is there any way I could convince her that I really do regret saying horrible things without telling her I'm bipolar?

AMY La Siestal Hello Amy. Sometimes you have to let things be for a while. As long as you said a sincere "I’m sorry" and you do not want to go into detail as to why it happened, I do suggest you let

"things settle" awhile.

Sometimes you going on and on about something will only tend to make things worse. However, I do suggest you go to your doctor and tell him what happened because you being bi polar is interfering with your life now in terms of situations such as this. He will be able to help you. Good luck and stay well.

A virgin aged 30 Hi Rose, the problem is basically what the title says, I am not far off 30 and I have never had sex. I am thinking about this all the time some nights I am struggling to sleep and I am making mistakes at work due to thinking about it. When I was in my early 20s they were a few occasions when I think I could have lost my v plates but it was with girls who I did not fancy and I wanted to keep my 1st time special. Now I think I would take any opportunity. I have plenty of close female friends who say I just need some confidence but this is hard to gain when every time I come onto a girl they reject me.

STEVE Guardamar Hello Steve. Don't come onto a girl, that’s your problem. You’re trying too hard and coming across as desperate and needy. try dating with a view to making some new friends and having fun, the rest will follow naturally but the harder you try to achieve it the worse the problem becomes the second you give up, I mean really give up, it will happen for you.

Accused of an affair Hello Rose. I have been accused of having an affair with a man who is due to get married soon.

It was completely out of

the blue as I haven't seen or spoken to the guy in nearly two years. We had a casual relationship a few years ago but nothing came of it and we both decided to go our separate ways as friends. I heard from his sister that he was engaged and I was genuinely happy for him and asked her to pass on my congratulations. Then all of a sudden I get an abusive message over Facebook calling me some very horrible names and threatening to tell my fiancé that I have been sleeping with this guy behind his back.

Apparently the fact that we haven't spoken for 2 years and live on opposite sides of the country therefore unable to see each other doesn’t matter to her. I've blocked her and him from my Facebook but I’m so angry that I’m being accused of something so horrible when i have done nothing wrong. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

AISLYNN Via email Hello Aislynn. Have you spoken to your fiancé to tell him this? He needs to know, otherwise if someone says you haven’t been having an affair then you start defending yourself, it's a bit more suspicious. I would maybe reply to the girls message (was it the fiancée of this other guy?) and copy the other guy in, say that you don't appreciate her accusation, that you have spoken in over two years, do not see each other and have no intention of doing so, you are in a happy relationship and are pleased for him that he is also engaged and wish him all the best, and emphasise that you most definitely are not and were not having an affair with him. I say include him because it is only fair that if you are being accused of an affair with him that he knows too.

Try to absorb plants into your skin in order to make yourself into some kind of Marvel Super Hero. Back in school when people would bully you about your hair and possibly jacket, you swore you would have your vengeance. Make today that day. Crossing your arms, legs and fingers is fine.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Test yourself today, let go of your fears and grasp the nettle with both hands. Hilarity may ensue this week if you decide to hire a clown on Thursday night. Remember, his/her sweetness is your weakness. "His/her?", yes, we don't know your sex. Are you a woman? I really can't tell.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Butter your bread on both sides so that if the bread falls, you'll be screwed no matter what. It may be easier to make a toasted sandwich. Public speaking is a big fear for you. However, shouting "Arse!" inside a supermarket is not usually an effective way of curing your problem.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Employee of the month awards carry a penalty - the penalty of ridicule. The Nigerian bank that is holding your email-friend's money does not exist. Curse you Mrs McGinty! Cysts are a sign of overworking as much as anything else. Relax today whilst a loved one lances your soppiest boils.

Libra September 23 - October 22 It's marvellous. No, really, it is absolutely marvellous. You'll see. Don't be in the market for any of what anyone is selling. I do not think this horoscope means what you think it means. In other news, scientists have found out that when the wind changes, your face doesn't get locked in its current position - this knowledge may serve you well.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Knowing your hand span may become useful over the coming days, although the mystics will not give me any information as to how or why. Be wary of emails claiming to be from PayPal or eBay - they are almost certainly your "most like a junky" friends trying to get a rise out of you.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 You may be feeling sporty today but don't spend all that money on new sports gear and equipment. You are likely to lose interest in this new found "passion" within 20 days. Gun crime is said to be rising around the country. Political statistics may become important for you today, but the mystics will not be clear as to how.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Today's mishaps will come in the shape of a toad, whilst salvation will come in the shape of a large truck. There's a future in toad-jam, by the way, if you're at all interested. It tastes lousy but makes a really good insect repellent.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 There is a lot of anger in your brain. Douse it with cool, flavoursome beer. Hope can solve nearly all of your problems today. Until tomorrow when all of your dreams will be dashed to pieces. The day is as long as the night. Other people are not as crazy as you make them out to be.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 You're single. So what are you doing reading this when you could be out there having fun?

Go let your hair down. If you don't claim that free holiday, you'll never win it. Your worst fears may come to light today when you are shoved into a very small hole filled with sharks, insects, spiders, snakes and moths.

35

Friday, March 16, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY YOU’LL JUST LOVE BILL’S NEW LARK

THE name Bill Gallagher probably doesn’t mean a great deal to you. But if I told you he’s the guy who brought us Lark Rise to Candleford through his adaptation of Flora Thompson’s Oxfordshire memoirs, then I’m sure you’ll sit up and take notice.

His new project, Love Life, hit ITV1 screens last night, and has that easy-going romantic gentleness that made Lark Rise such a hit.

Rob James-Collier, who proved there’s life after Corrie with his smashing portrayal of the nasty footman Thomas in Downton Abbey, is in nicer form here as he returns after a long trip to find his girlfriend up the duff.

Daddy happens to be her much older boss, played by Alexander Armstrong, who’s

STEPHEN Myers (Ryan Gosling) is a hot-shot assistant campaign manager for Pennsylvania Governor Mike Morris (George Clooney), who is running for the Democratic nomination in the lead-up to a Presidential election.

Although he is no less influential in the race, Myers is the number 2 guy behind Paul Morris (Philip Seymour Hoffman). Like most young political whips, Myers’ idealism about his place in the political system and his faith in Morris and U.S. politics in general is a rarity. Paul has his own equally high moral standard, yet, by experience, has a strong armour of pragmatism.

more power to him, I say!

The “Who killed Frank?” saga is boiling up nicely on Coronation Street, and we all know it wasn’t Peter Barlow, despite his confession to the Weatherfield plods on ITV 1 last night. Perhaps it’s worth being banged up in a cell to avoid sharing a bed with Carla, but I’m happy to predict that the villain wasn’t any of the usual suspects.

Even the hapless Inspector Clouseau might have just thought out of the on TV more these days than box to ask questions about the test card would have Frank’s mum Anne or his latbeen 40 years ago. est business partner/girlIt’s only three episodes friend, Jenny. It’s been great long, which is a shame fun, though the Corrie probecause it has quality written ducers need to shut the lid on all over it, as well as being a this sooner rather than later, pleasant way of passing an as opposed to stringing it out hour on a Thursday night. Mr for weeks. We don’t want this Gallagher has certainly becoming as tedious as all become a bankable TV those John Stape storylines scriptwriting commodity - and that went on for an eternity.

The original version of CSI has never been the same since William Petersen called it a day in playing Grissom. I did like Laurence Fishburne as Langston, though his character was far too serious at times, so the producers have replaced him with Ted Danson, and so far so good, based on Tuesday evening’s new series opener on Channel Five.

Love Life: There’s certainly a easy-going lot more lightness and romantic humour around, as the gentleness ex-Cheers star plays

with ALEX TRELINSKI

the new boss, DB Russell, but with Marg Helgenberger quitting the show soon as Catherine, you just get the sense that we are moving into the final days of what was once a fantastic and original series.

Talking of ends, we are well into the final series of D e s p e r a t e Housewives on Channel Four, though you might have forgotten to watch it as the show is buried late So far, so in the schedule on a good: Ted Tuesday night…or Danson more accurately in CSI Wednesday morning! I have to say, as a mega fan, that it has lost on the box tend to be pretsome of its fizz and is in the ty tame affairs, as all the key middle of a very contrived figures - be it in politics or plot involving the murder of entertainment - are pulled Gabrielle’s awful stepfather around by spin-doctor pup(with a cover-up by all the pets and taught techniques ladies.) And now we have in waffling and time-killing.

Bree’s ex, a copper who sus- Frost, for my money, still propected the ladies of doing it, duced the ace in the pack in being conveniently run over his younger days, with his by a car! destruction of the arrogant But why should I dig deep- insurance swindler, Emil er? This is life in Wisteria Savundra. Forty five years Lane after all, and the won- on, it still makes for gripping derful characters and per- TV, which we‘ll never see the formances over eight sea- like of again, and makes you sons more than make up for wish that Frost didn’t waste the plot deficiencies. so many years being There was a TV treat on involved in showbiz trivia.

Tuesday night, as Sir David Talking of Frost, history is Frost spent an hour on BBC4 littered with the rotting carlooking at the history of tele- casses of those who thought vision interviews, and some they were talented enough to of the great changes over the host a TV chat show. years. These days interviews Graham Norton and

THE IDES OF MARCH 15 CAST: Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman DIRECTOR: George Clooney RATING: 4/5 RUNNING TIME: 101 min.

Morris has the lead in the race, and with the delegate support of Senator Thompson (Jeffrey Wright), he could seal the nomination. The wrench in the machine comes in the form of Myers’ competitor, Tom Duffy (Paul Giamatti), campaign manager for the other side, who makes a play to bring Myers over to his candidate. This represents the beginning of a series of psychologically and morally complex

issues for Myers as he attempts to spin-control the fallout of his decision.

Clooney and his writers deftly play out three separate political subplots, and in the third act they snake them around each other in perfect structural screenplay form.

But by the end, Myers’

character arc – that is, where he begins the film vs. where he ends up – is so deep and profound we can’t help but think of Michael Corleone’s gradual descent into moral corruption in The Godfather.

Clooney crafts a similar tale of corruption and the effect of career ambition, jealousy and revenge on one’s moral conscience.

George Clooney has successfully dipped this

This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel 650 944 934 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

fine picture into the hardline, pessimistic and distrustful era of ‘70s filmmaking, matching the stone cold integrity of films like All the President’s Men. Clooney refuses to give us the Capra ending.

Instead, he forcefeeds the American people a healthy dose of political reality, however conniving and malicious it may be.

Jonathan Ross make it look like a walk in the park but do you remember those primetime disasters for Gaby Roslin and Davina McCall?

Enter Cheryl Cole, and this is not an early April Fools Day joke.

Cheryl is apparently being lined up to do a talk show for the BBC. On that logical basis, I’m going to take her place in Girls Aloud, as well as becoming a neuro-surgeon in my spare time!

And finally, are any of you upset that Denise Welch is refusing to appear on ITV1’s Loose Women panel alongside Janet Street- Porter? If I were ITV, I’d simply make sure that Ms. Street- Porter appears on every show just to keep the old soak off it!

36

The Courier Friday TV

March 16

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Natural World 03:55 Antiques Road Trip 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crime and Punishment 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Sport Relief Does Glee Club 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Blue Peter 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:40 05:00 05:30 06:00

The Tube BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Close Schools: How to Build Schools: How to Build Schools: Wonders of the

Universe 07:00 Little Robots 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Andy's Wild Adventures 10:55 Same Smile 11:10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:15 64 Zoo Lane 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Living Dangerously 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain's First Photo Album 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Reverse Missionaries 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 The Jonathan Ross Show 02:05 Take Me Out 02:55 ITV News Headlines 02:55 The Zone 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Safari Vet School 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Mad Max 2

REVERSE MISSIONARIES

New series. Three young Christian missionaries from Malawi, India and Jamaica travel to different parts of Britain, reversing the paths taken by 19th-century missionaries who exported their religion around the world.

First is Jamaican baptist and ex-street gang member Pastor Franklin Small, he tries to bring some of his energetic preaching style to the sleepy community, but faces an uphill struggle in the face of apathy and ignorance, and also pays his respects to his hero Thomas Burchell, the local missionary who was at the forefront of the anti-slavery movement in the Caribbean 200 years earlier.

00:05 Embarrassing Bodies 01:05 Random Acts 01:10 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 01:40 China: Triumph and Turmoil 02:35 Channel 4 Presents Stephen Miller Part Two 02:40 The World's Richest Teenager and Me 03:35 Strange Little Girls 03:50 The Confession 03:55 The Bible: A History 04:50 Time Team 05:45 Reaper 06:30 90210 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:30 Cheltenham Festival 17:15 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:25 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 20:30 4thought.tv 20:35 Come Dine with Me 21:30 New Girl 22:00 The Bank Job 23:00 Rude Tube

01:15 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Emergency Bikers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Nora Roberts' Tribute 18:00 Neighbours 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 Home and Away 19:55 Inside Hollywood 20:00 Revealed 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

37

The Courier Saturday TV

March 17

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The Last Castle 02:35 Weatherview 02:40 Accused 03:40 Question Time 04:40 Bees, Butterflies and Blooms 05:40 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Football Focus 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:10 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 15:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 17:45 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 19:55 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:10 Let's Dance for Sport Relief 21:45 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 22:35 Casualty 23:25 BBC News; Weather 23:45 National Lottery Update 23:45 Match of the Day

07:00 Harry and Toto 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Driver Dan's Story Train 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 Ultimate Sports Day 10:30 Blue Peter 11:00 My Life 11:30 Trapped 12:00 Hacker Time 12:25 OOglies 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Escape to the Country 14:00 Formula 1 15:15 Cromwell 17:30 Final Score 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Dad's Army 20:00 The Story of Light Entertainment 21:00 How God Made the English 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Arena

01:20 ITV News Headlines 03:45 Connie and Carla 05:20 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 This Morning: Saturday 13:20 ITV News and Weather 13:29 Meridian Weather 13:30 Live FA Cup Football 16:00 Death on the Nile 18:35 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 All Star Family Fortunes 20:00 New You've Been Framed!

20:30 Harry Hill's TV Burp 21:00 Take Me Out 22:15 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:29 Meridian Weather 23:30 FA Cup Highlights

RIVER COTTAGE 00:00 00:45 00:50 02:35 03:35 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 05:40

The Review Show Weather The Singing Detective The Culture Show The Record Review BBC News Click Newswatch BBC News On the Road With Close

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall spends a summer living on a vegetarian diet, and shows viewers how to create varied and exciting meals without using meat or fish.

He begins by exploring the range of vegetables growing in his own garden at River Cottage, before sampling Asian-inspired recipes created by vegetarian chef David Bailey and taking on the challenge of hosting a meat-free barbecue, with dishes including halloumi, tomato and potato kebabs and chard and samphire tarts.

01:05 The Inbetweeners 01:35 The Inbetweeners 02:05 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 02:35 Random Acts 02:40 Pushing Tin 04:40 Crash, Bang, Wallow 04:45 My Name Is Earl 05:05 My Name Is Earl 05:30 Reaper 06:15 90210 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Koko Pop 10:25 Real Stories 11:25 New Girl 11:55 Charlie's Angels 12:50 The Big Bang Theory 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Simpsons 14:25 The Simpsons 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:15 Channel 4 Presents 17:20 Come Dine with Me 17:50 Come Dine with Me 18:20 Come Dine with Me 18:55 Come Dine with Me 19:25 Come Dine with Me 19:55 Channel 4 News 20:25 4thought.tv 20:30 River Cottage 21:30 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 22:30 The Bank Job 23:30 Copycat

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Igam Ogam 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Family!

08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 Emergency Bikers 12:20 The Green Berets 15:05 Bronco Billy 17:20 RV: Runaway Vacation 19:20 5 News Weekend 19:25 NCIS 20:15 NCIS 21:05 NCIS 22:00 CSI: NY 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

38

The Courier Sunday TV

March 18

00:45 The Football League Show 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 World Olympic Dreams 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:55 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Sunday Politics 14:00 Bargain Hunt 14:30 A Question of Sport 15:00 Formula 1 17:00 David Walliams' Big Swim: A Sport Relief Special 18:00 Lifeline 18:10 Songs of Praise 18:45 Land Girls 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Upstairs Downstairs 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 War of the Worlds

00:00 Lord of the Flies 01:30 The Sarah Millican Television

Programme 02:00 Besieged 03:30 Close 07:00 Harry and Toto 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Driver Dan's Story Train 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 08:40 The Owl 09:05 Paradise Cafe 09:30 Wingin' It 09:50 Deadly 60 Bites 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 Homes Under the Hammer 13:30 EastEnders 15:20 The Taming of the Shrew 17:20 Escape to the Country 18:20 Flog It! 19:20 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Orbit: Earth's Extraordinary Journey 23:00 Match of the Day 2

00:30 The Cube 01:25 The Zone 01:25 ITV News Headlines 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News 10:30 FA Cup Highlights 11:30 May the Best House Win 12:30 Dickinson's Real Deal 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:39 Meridian Weather 13:40 Murder, She Wrote" 14:40 Columbo: Murder in Malibu 16:30 Live FA Cup Football 19:15 Meridian News and Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:45 Planet's Funniest Animals 20:00 Dancing on Ice 21:30 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

22:30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Cops with Cameras

01:55 Sex Drive 03:45 No, No, No 03:50 The Death of Mr Lazarescu 06:25 Reaper 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:05 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 08:30 Channel 4 Presents 08:35 Sailing 09:05 Real Stories 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:55 Frasier 11:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 The Simpsons 13:35 The Simpsons 14:10 Four in a Bed 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:10 Four in a Bed 15:40 Four in a Bed 16:10 Four in a Bed 16:40 Deal or No Deal 17:40 Time Team 18:40 The Simpsons Movie 20:25 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Falklands' Most Daring Raid 22:00 Homeland 23:05 How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE

Comedy based on the memoir by Toby Young, starring Simon Pegg and Kirsten Dunst. When ambitious English journalist Sidney Young accepts a job offer at a prestigious New York-based fashion magazine, he believes it will be his passport to a celebrity lifestyle.

But his journey across the pond soon leaves him floundering like a fish out of water.

00:50 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Great Scientists 05:25 Great Scientists 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:40 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family!

08:35 Make Way for Noddy 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Grey's Anatomy 11:55 Stansted: The Inside Story 12:55 Cowboy Builders 13:55 Brave Warrior 15:20 Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild 16:50 The Tigger Movie 18:15 5 News 18:20 The Legend of Zorro 20:45 I, Robot 23:00 Rambo

Mike the marble marvel floors them all Mike Butler of Simply Pro Floor Care has been restoring and polishing marble and other stone floors in Spain for nearly five years.

If you have a dull floor he can make it shine, if you have a chip or crack he can repair it and if you have marks that have been made by drinks or cleaning products he can grind them out, making your floors look as good as new.

He also restores stairs, work tops, vanity units and fire places and is happy to come to your home and give you a free demonstration on any marble (or other stone) requiring polishing or restoration.

Mike’s work comes with a full year’s maintenance plan, which means if you have a problem keeping up the shine he is always on call to advise, and through the year if heavy traffic has made areas dull he will come back and recrystallise.

Mike is based in Los Montesinos and works throughout the Costa Blanca and Murcia region; he is fully insured and registered to work in Spain and has worked at Roda Golf, La Finca, Las Ramblas, El Raso and El Valle and many other resorts in the south east.

Mike also cleans rugs and upholstery; he can clean rugs on site or if you have a few that require cleaning he can pick them up and bring them back at your convenience; handy to get them clean before storing away for the summer months.

You can contact Mike by phone or email to arrange a quote with absolutely no obligation and he will do a demonstration if you require, showing you how amazing your floors can look. Or if you just want to chat with an expert give him a call and he will be happy to advise.

To contact Mike phone 691649515 or 966721331 or email him at simplyprofloorcare@hotmail.com and for further information visit his website: www.simplyprofloorcare.com

39

The Courier Monday TV

March 19

01:10 Weatherview 01:15 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 01:55 David Walliams' Big Swim: A Sport Relief Special 02:55 Holby City 03:55 The Last Explorers 04:55 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crime and Punishment 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Diddy Dick & Dom 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Sport Relief Does Glee Club 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Empire 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:00 Formula 1 02:00 Rugby Union: Six Nations Highlights 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 04:55 Close 07:00 Harry and Toto 07:10 Lunar Jim

07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Andy's Wild Adventures 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:15 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Living Dangerously 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain's First Photo Album 20:00 University Challenge: The Story So Far 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 22:00 The Tube 23:00 Watson & Oliver 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

00:15 Anglo-Welsh Cup Rugby Union 01:10 The Zone 03:35 River Monsters 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Scott & Bailey 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Agenda

RAMSAYS KITCHEN NIGHTMARES USA

New series. The chef heads to floundering soul food restaurant Blackberry's in Plainfield, New Jersey, but struggles to get his message across to indomitable owner Shelley. Her refusal to deal with the truth comes to a head when Gordon finds a dead mouse in the doorway, prompting him to step up his efforts to get her to change her ways.

01:20 Drillbit Taylor 03:05 The Big Bang Theory 03:30 The Big Bang Theory 03:50 The Big Bang Theory 04:10 The Big Bang Theory 04:30 Hollyoaks 06:35 90210 07:20 The Hoobs 07:45 The Hoobs 08:10 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 According to Jim 09:10 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 The Renovation Game 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 How to Cook Like Heston 14:10 River Cottage Bites 14:20 The Thirty-Nine Steps 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 China: Triumph and Turmoil 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

00:40 Ultimate Police Interceptors 01:40 The World of Stupid Criminals 02:10 SuperCasino 04:50 County Secrets 05:05 UEFA Europa League Highlights 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Emergency Bikers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 After the Fall 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Stansted: The Inside Story 21:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 22:00 Executive Decision

40

The Courier Tuesday TV

March 20

00:05 Our Economy 00:45 The Graham Norton Show 01:30 Weatherview 01:35 Rita Simons: My Daughter, Deafness and Me 02:25 Hidden 03:25 Great British Food Revival 04:25 The Last Explorers 05:25 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crime and Punishment 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:28 BBC News; Weather 11:30 The Queen's Jubilee Loyal Address to Parliament 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Sport Relief Does Glee Club 17:30 Pixelface 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:40 Rita Simons: My Daughter, Deafness and Me

00:20 01:50 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:15 05:00

Starter for 10 HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday The Super League Show Schools: True Stories

06:00 Schools: True Stories 07:00 Harry and Toto 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Andy's Wild Adventures 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:15 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Living Dangerously 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain's First Photo Album 20:00 Rugged Wales 21:00 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather

00:05 Mayday Mayday 00:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 01:25 ITV News Headlines 03:30 Champions League Weekly 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Countrywise Kitchen 21:00 Homes from Hell 22:00 Return to the Falklands 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Benidorm

HIT THE ROAD JACK New series. Comedian Jack Whitehall travels across the UK to learn more about the country's regions and culture, and performs at a variety of unusual venues.

He begins in Cardiff, where he stays with a local family and joins the father's male voice choir. He also gets a cameo role in Welsh soap Pobol y Cwm and tries to inspire a rugby team, before playing a stand-up set at a working men's club, supported by Gavin & Stacey star Ruth Jones and rapper Lethal Bizzle.

00:00 Homeland 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Shameless 02:15 Make Bradford British 03:10 Make Bradford British 04:05 Amelia and Michael 04:15 Birth of Britain 05:10 Time Team 06:05 Genius of Britain 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 The Renovation Game 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 How to Cook Like Heston 14:05 D-Day the Sixth of June 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 23:00 Hit the Road Jack 23:35 Sean Lock: Lockipedia Live

00:35 Derailed 02:15 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Emergency Bikers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Nora Roberts' High Noon 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21:00 Revealed 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

March 21

00:35 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 01:15 Weatherview 01:20 Great British Food Revival 02:20 Rita Simons: My Daughter, Deafness and Me 03:10 Exile 04:10 How to Grow a Planet 05:10 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crime and Punishment 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Sport Relief Does Glee Club 17:30 Deadly 60 Bites 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Match of the Day

00:20 Are You Having a Laugh? TV and Disability 01:20 How God Made the English 02:20 Newsday 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Schools: Curious Cat 05:30 William Whiskerson

06:00 How to Write 06:30 Simon Armitage, Writing Poems 07:00 Harry and Toto 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Andy's Wild Adventures 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:15 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 The Budget 2012 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain's First Photo Album 20:00 Escape to the Country 20:30 Watson & Oliver 21:00 The Fisherman's Apprentice with Monty Halls 22:00 WikiLeaks: The Secret Life of a Superpower 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired!

00:35 Ladette to Lady: Australia 01:25 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Crossing Jordan 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:15 The Chancellor's Budget - An ITV News Special 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Unforgettable 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

THE APPRENTICE Alan Sugar begins another search for a candidate worthy of setting up in business with him - with a ÂŁ250,000 investment to help get their idea off the ground. The first task sees the 16 candidates split into two teams - boys versus girls - with each group buying blank goods, adding their own designs, then selling them on the streets of London in a test of creativity, marketing and salesmanship. While one team opts for cute kids' clothes, the other plays it safe with Union Jacks for tourists. But before long, the pressure of their tight deadline grows and the back-biting begins.

00:40 Random Acts 00:45 Desperate Housewives 01:40 Poker 02:40 Sailing 03:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:30 The Grid 04:00 Late Night Poker 04:55 That Paralympic Show 05:20 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 06:15 Full Metal Challenge 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 The Renovation Game 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 River Cottage 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Sea of Sand 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 10 O'Clock Live 23:55 My Phone Sex Secrets

00:00 CSI: Miami 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 Inside Hollywood 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Emergency Bikers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Shattered Silence 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Big Body Squad 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

42

The Courier Thursday TV

March 22

00:55 Night Watch 02:30 Weatherview 02:35 See Hear 03:05 Upstairs Downstairs 04:05 Watchdog 05:05 Antiques Road Trip 05:50 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crime and Punishment 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Sport Relief Does Glee Club 17:30 Sport Relief Does Glee Club 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 John Bishop's Sport Relief Hell 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

07:35 Octonauts 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:25 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Alphablocks 09:35 Abadas 09:45 Poetry Pie 09:50 Lulu Zipadoo 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Guess with Jess 10:40 Andy's Wild Adventures 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:15 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:30 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 See Hear 15:00 Lifeline 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain's First Photo Album 20:00 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 21:00 Natural World 22:00 White Heat 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Weather

00:35 Road Warriors 01:30 The Zone 03:30 Sweet Charity 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Love Life 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 For Better for Worse

DEATH ROW 00:20 01:20 02:05 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 06:00 07:00 07:10 07:20

Cage Fighting Women Medium Medium Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools: Counting with Rodd Schools: Let's Do Maths Harry and Toto Lunar Jim Raa Raa the Noisy Lion

New series. Werner Herzog tells the story of the death penalty, as he interviews inmates awaiting capital punishment in American prisons. The film-maker begins his round of talks with Hank Skinner, who was sentenced in March 1995 for the stabbing of his girlfriend and her two sons. The prisoner reveals how close he has been to execution, and his efforts to have his case re-examined in the light of new evidence.

01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:25 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 01:40 Black Cab Sessions 02:10 360 Sessions 02:35 4Play: Christina Perri 02:50 Ibiza Rocks 03:20 Live from Abbey Road 04:05 Momma's Boy 04:20 The North Star 06:10 The Moonbird 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:00 The Renovation Game 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 How to Cook Like Heston 14:05 Up Periscope 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Get Your House in Order 22:00 Mary's Bottom Line 23:00 Death Row 23:55 Random Acts

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:55 Poker: The Big Game 01:50 Inside Hollywood 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Hana's Helpline 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Emergency Bikers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Her Fatal Flaw 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Holiday Heaven on Earth 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Inside the Titanic 23:00 Cleaner

43

Friday, March 16, 2012 or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

AWNINGS

ACCOMMODATION

PROPERTY FOR RENT

Small, economic family run hotel, situated on the CV951, San Miguel de Salinas. Modern air-conditioned and ensuite rooms available, 35€ per room, per night. Call 966 842 070 for reservations.

ACCOUNTANTS Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals. Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.

Phone 965 707 981 or 676 906 788 Can email photos and more details

INSURANCE For all your insurance needs, ie.home, car, health, funeral, travel, etc Excellent cover from Spain´s 5th biggest insurance company, “CASER”.

Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from a real person/our friendly staff.

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am.

Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.

All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further

AIR CONDITIONING

information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Try Professional Business Support for your quick quote for car insurance.

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Excellent cover for your house and home, includes travel assistance for when you go away. Interesting prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated parking, walking distance to Shops bars restaurants etc. 627 711 155

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Calling all serious Buyers.

I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant.

Everything included in

price, fantastic Alicante /sea views. As a starting price I am looking in the region of 265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242 Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished.

Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing.

Lovely well maintained ter-

raced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to shops, bars restaurants.

Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve.

Private parking, call 680 333 242 for more details.

133.000 euros Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbani-

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leria Lounge complete with chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private Parking. A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium

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45

Friday, March 16, 2012 with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2 built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire, Under build, Alarmed, Mature Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates. 260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken.

Walking distance to all local amenities in GA Detached Villa with large pool. Decoratively tiled Garden, complete with BBQ. Est. palm & fruit trees. 3 bed, 3 bath, Fully Furnished including all electrical appliances.

Quick sale needed, 270.000 euros, but very negotiable. For appointment to view call 966 699 478 after 5pm Monte Y Mar - Gran Alacant Detached Villa

with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge-diner, front porch, Large solarium with views. 400m2 plot Low maintenance irrigated gardens, Private pool & Parking. Tastefully furnished throughout and everything included.

Recently Reduced to 239.000 euros. For more details call 627.711.155 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small

STORAGE

gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof ter-

race, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the

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46

Friday, March 16, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

THE BLOOMING OF AN ENGLISH ROSE LOOK down the illustrious list of winners of world golf championship events and none has a story like Justin Rose.

No one fought back from starting his professional career with 21 missed cuts in a row.

Justin earned his first European Tour card in 1999 when he finished fourth at the qualifying school. The following season he had to revisit the school after failing to retain his card in 2000 – and finished ninth.

Justin was born in Johannesburg and moved to England at the age of five where he started to play seriously at Hartley Wintney GC, near his then Hampshire home. He broke 70 for the first time at the age of 11 and was a plus one handicap by 14.

He played in the Walker Cup in 1997 as a 17 year old, then burst to prominence at the 1998 Open Championship, holing a dramatic shot from the rough for birdie on the 18th to finish in a tie for fourth.

He won the silver medal for the low amateur…and the following day turned professional.

Rose stands as the living embodiment of the sporting truism that what doesn’t defeat you makes you stronger.

Every dip in his career, and Championship.

It was his fourth US tour there have been many, has been followed by a new land- victory in the space of only mark. And so it continued last 20 months and no-one can Sunday, when he became better that. He has now won the first European to win the more tournaments than any W G C - C a d i l l a c other player on tour during

Budding Rose: Justin at the 1998 Open that time span.

His three-shot final round winning comeback is the largest in the history of W G C - C a d i l l a c Championship, beating the two shots of Tiger Woods in

2005 and Nick Watney in 2011.

It took a long time for Rose to learn how to become a serial winner - a lot of soulsearching and time spent gathering a class team around him.

When he started out, following that wondrous 4th place in the 1998 Open, he was instantly labelled the new Nick Faldo.

It took Faldo until the age of 30 to learn how to win majors and there’s every hope that Rose, 31, will now start winning them as well.

There remain a lot of similarities with Britain’s greatestever golfer, from his in-vogue

coach Sean Foley playing the David Leadbetter role to his dedication to his craft.

Like Faldo, Rose seems to have a game ideally suited to the Masters and The Open.

In seven appearances at the season’s first major, he has led after the first round on three occasions and once at the halfway stage, with a best finish of tied fifth in 2007.

Justin would be the first to admit the burden of expectation hasn’t been an easy one for him to handle. Two years ago he went to The Open as the most in-form golfer in the world and promptly missed the halfway cut.

He says: “I’ve learned you can’t put too much emphasis on the majors and the need to stay out of your own way.

I’m conscious that in recent years I’ve performed poorly in the biggest events of all, but I do feel like I am ready for them now.”

Over the past two years in America, he’s won a Jack Nicklaus’s tournament, Tiger’s tournament, a FedEx play-off event and now the biggest of all, a WGC title.

So the only thing that’s really the next level up for

him is a major.

Rose talked last year of drawing inspiration from Luke Donald. Here was a player whose career had been roughly comparable to his own, before Donald moved up to another level.

Now Rose is up to seventh in the world and has joined him among the world’s elite.

And there are five Europeans in the top seven in the world.

Winning this massive prize has taken away all the pressure with regard to making Europe’s Ryder Cup team. It is something to draw upon when the pressure moments arrive at the majors.

For those of us who were there at the start, watching the crestfallen 18-year-old missing all those cuts, it’s heartwarming to see how much he’s grown.

Now he’s a married man with a young family, and the one constant of always having always a credit to his sport.

Luke Donald, Rory McIlroy, Lee Westwood and now Justin Rose at the top as well. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better for the UK game, it did!

PUTT LIKE A PRO: THE FIVE-FOOT TOUCH GOLF is a game where the fewer shots you take, the more chance you have of winning. Now that may seem obvious and, yes, it is - but most of us lose shots on the best grass surface and only practise putting just before we go on the tee. Yet we go down the driving range and hot 100 balls with the woods and irons.

So take a little more time and practise putting. It will shave a few shots off your game.

TIPS ON HOW TO DRAIN FIVE-FOOT PUTTS It’s such a little shot. So why is it such a big challenge?

Here is a few tips on how the pros drain that dreaded fivefooter.

1.

Practise five-foot putts many times, and try to 2.

Carefully pick a line, stick to a pre-shot routine, make 25 in succession. This will give you confidence and try to make a solid stroke. You cannot ‘dolly’ in a five when playing in competitions. footer.

3.

Take the putter straight back and swing straight through the ball as though you were putting the head of the club in the hole.

4.

Look at the line of the putt from different angles to be sure of the line. Focus on speed.

5.

Stay relaxed and commit to the putt; be firm and just before you start the back swing, look at the front of the ball, stroke it and keep your body still.

6.

Try to keep the back of your left hand (for left handers the right hand) going towards the target.

7.

Try to keep your eyes still. If you do, your head will stay still over the ball.

8.

When you are stable and calm, you will make the five footers. Try to roll the ball, not guide it.

9.

Speed is important. Play for a little less break and hit it slightly harder.

BUILD UP CONFIDENCE WITH YOUR PUTTER Most club golfers do not have a simple, consistent and repeatable putting stroke. They may loop the putter inside the target line on the way back to the ball and across the line at impact.

To train your stroke to flow back and through the ball on a straight line, practise putting against a plank of wood. If the wood is lined up correctly – parallel to the target line – it’s hard to miss a putt and this alone will give you confidence.

TITTER ON THE TEE A YOUNG assistant pro walks into the Pro shop on a Friday morning, late for the fifth time in the week.

His boss, the Pro, says: “That’s it, you have had several warnings - you’re sacked” The assistant replies: “But the alarm clock didn’t go off, you can’t sack me!”

The Pro retorts: “I can sack who I like.”

To which the Assistant replies: “Then sack someone you don’t like” ODD TRUTHS Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.

47

Friday, March 16, 2012

CHEL’S ANGELS

CHELSEA'S marvellous win in the Champions League against Napoli may rebound on them big style.

It revived the old guard who were set to be shipped out, namely Frank Lampard, John Terry and to a lesser extent Didier Drogba.

No matter what anyone says, they won't last forever - good as they were on Wednesday night.

AVB was bombed out for trying to get rid of them and Roberto di Matteo seemed bold enough to go the same way - at first. He brought the old guard back in to do a job against Napoli. They did but he must not let it divert him from the bigger picture. That's if he gets the job on a permanent basis and the Chelsea board don't revert to Jose Mourinho, who many see as the best in the business after Sir Alex Ferguson.

Mind you, if Rangers can look to Graeme Souness to rescue them, anything can happen - so just who will settle into the manager's chair at The Bridge is anyone's guess!

Chelsea's powerful performance against Napoli did increase di Matteo's chances of holding on to the job permanently. They simply didn't let up against a very impressive Italian side and clinched victory after the Italians had comeback from 2-0 down to set up a win on aggregate with a great second half strike themselves.

Powerhouse striker Drogba headed Chelsea in front and Terry added a second before Gokhan Inler looked to have broken

Chelsea hearts with his goal that made it 43 on aggregate to the Italians.

But Chelsea refused to buckle and hit back with 15 minutes left through Lampard's penalty before forcing an extra time win courtesy of Branislav Ivanovic's glory goal.

It made for a great game and the Pensioners’ performance will boost Di Matteo's standing as the board continue their search for a successor to Andre Villas Boas.

Cristiano Ronaldo continued his phenomenal scoring form for Real Madrid with two more goals to take him to 48 as t h e y

put out CSKA Moscow following an emphatic 4-1 home win.

So the last eight are Real, Chelsea, Bayern M u n i c h , Barcelona, Marseille, Apoel Nicosia, AC Milan and Benfica.

But the Blues old guard will still be on their bike

The focus switches to the FA Cup in England this weekend. Manchester United can increase the pressure on Manchester City at the top of the Premier League if they can beat Wolves, but Tottenham and Chelsea will be staking their claims for a trophy success as they take on Bolton and Leicester respectively. Liverpool will move closer to a cup double if they can beat S t o k e and go on to w i n another semi-final to book a second Wembley appearance after lifting the Carling Cup. They certainly seem more than capable of overcoming Stoke if that one-man derby demolition of Everton is anything to go by with super Steven Gerrard scoring all three goals.

Spurs will see off Bolton comfortably and I don't fancy Leicester's chances of an upset, even though

there is the danger of an after the Lord Mayor's show performance from Chelsea after that energy-sapping win over Napoli.

Meanwhile Carlos Tevez is nearing a return to the Manchester City team, only because nobody else will touch him with a barge pole.

But how about this for a dramatic final scenario? He scores an own goal in the derby at the Etihad to gift Manchester United the Premier League title - AGAIN! You couldn't write a better script, could you? City must sit it out and sweat on that United result at Wolves as the FA Cup ties mean they are without a Premier League fixture this weekend.

It could quite easily go the other way in the league, though, with Tevez proving the spur that drives City on to a first top-league championship success in 44 years.

The little Argentinian certainly needs to win over the City fans again after his appalling behaviour. His attempts to hold the club to ransom backfired badly and he will have to score for fun now if he is to wipe out that bad memory.

One thing about Tevez, though, is that he always gives 150 per cent from start to finish, so stand by for an explosive finish to the season all round!

Seven-up Ori make Vazquinho double fires it torrid for Torry Montesinos back to top ITV Orihuela RFC 44pts Torrevieja Tigers 17 ORIHUELA, hoping to keep their 100% record against their local rivals intact, had the better of a tight first half and took the lead with an Alvaro penalty after Torry had infringed at the breakdown.

Then some good play by the backs gave Orihuela a five-metre scrum and Alvin

broke away from the base to make it 8-0.

This seemed to wake Torry up and then they hit back with two tries of their own from their pack to lead 10-8 at the break.

After a roasting from coach Oscar, Orihuela looked a completely different team and Victor was on

hand to take the pass to go over for an early try, Adrian converting.

After some great hands by the backs and excellent support from the forwards carrying the ball, Alvin went over for his second try, quickly followed by Alvaro crossing to bring up the bonus point.

At this stage they seemed to take their foot of the pedal a bit, letting Torry in for another try and conversion, making the score 30-17.

Some changes were made to get the pace going again for Orihuela, which did the trick - Miguel getting an excellent individual try and Richie adding a seventh.

Alvaro and Gerardo got the conversions.

Watch the final round of the Six Nations at the new rugby union supporters bar and club at the Steak House in Rojales, plus the LV Cup final on Sunday.

Further info about all things rugby from Garry on 692 767 242.

CD Montesinos 2 Almoradi ‘B’ 0

IN FRONT of their biggest crowd of the season, Los Montesinos returned to the top of the division - albeit only on goal difference.

Almoradi are a far better side now than they were earlier in the season, and had a number of chances - but Monte keeper Lopez was on top form and produced two stunning saves to keep them out.

After a poor first 45 minutes in which neither side created too much, CD Montesinos came out for the second half in a far more determined manner. Manager Juanpe took off a defender (Javi) and brought on an attacking wide player (Dimitry), making his intentions crystal clear.

The change in formation worked, with Vazquinho quickly missing two chances – and then making no mistake as he took

a pass from Edu and buried his shot past the visiting keeper.

Just five minutes later, the same combination produced Monte’s second goal. Edu again supplied the cross and the Brazilian striker found the net with ease.

With next week’s break in the league programme, Juanpe has given the players a few days’ rest as he feels they need to ‘switch off’ for a time at this most important part of the season. With seven matches left – three of them against

sides in the top four - the final few weeks could be heart-stopping stuff.

Supporters will be able to see and chat with the players on Friday and Saturday at the St Patrick’s Day Fiesta in Los Montesinos, where the Full Monte will be running a stand selling club merchandise as well as a Tombola stall.

For additional information, visit www.cdmontesinos .com or email thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or call 637 869 602. In association with CajaMurcia.

48

Friday, March 16, 2012

BAY WATCH GOALDEN BOYS: From left, Arjen Robben, Lionel Messi and Mario Gomez

Super Mario puts my Munich Euro flutter back on course BAYERN Munich restored my faith in the betting slip on Tuesday night with their record-breaking 7-0 win over Basel.

It had been a good day with the speculative money management side of things, having earlier picked out two winners and a second at Cheltenham.

Maybe I'll have a go on that postcode lottery and win myself a mansion!

At the start of the season I had a small bet on Bayern to win the Champions League and thought they had faltered with that 1-0 defeat in the first game against the clockmakers. Now I reckon they are more than ready to challenge Barcelona for the ultimate crown.

Lionel Messi was equalled by Mario Gomez in the goal scoring stakes. Both found the net freely with

STEVE BOTT reports

five and four goals respectively. Arjen Robben continues to be the best winger and maybe midfielder in the business at the moment - and he too scored twice to follow up his double in the recent friendly international against England.

So go to it, my Bayern boys - and win me some dosh!

In the other European competition, Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson continues to confound everybody with his team selections and tactics. It’s simple. Since being bombed out of the Champions League and dumped into the Europa, Alex has decided to use the matches in that competition to experiment for the future with his younger players to the fore. They have looked good at the beginning of games but let the opposition play far too much - and paid the price.

They are still in it but the Premier League is now Fergie's prime target this season and they are out to win it again at all costs and shut their noisy neigh-

bours up. City are what they will always be.....Manchester City. That means something is ALWAYS bound to go wrong!

Inter, Real Madrid, Napoli and even Apoel Nicosia will argue with my views about the eventual winners of this season's Champions League trophy. But it's all good stuff and I can't wait for the next round even though the best team in the world won't be in it!

This could be Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola's swansong in the competition with their respective clubs as they are tipped to move to Premier League sides in the summer. The clever money is on Fabio Capello getting the Tottenham job if Harry Redknapp is appointed as England manager, but the noises Harry is making right now suggest he will be staying at White Hart Lane.

So who will the FA appoint if that does happen? I smell another cock- up on the horizon. Send for Mike Bassett - it just about sums ‘em up!