The Courier Week 61 by TKO UK

Edition 61

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Friday, April 20, 2012

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THE ABC OF ABUSE By AMANDA BLACK

EVERYONE loves something for nothing...and with The Courier your freebies extend beyond just the best and fastest growing newspaper on the Costa Blanca. With next week’s issue, we are giving away thousands of copies of the 2011/12 Food&Drink Guide, an invaluable asset to anyone who enjoys eating out

locally. It’s packed with interesting information for sophisticated diners and features profiles of dozens of the area’s most popular restaurants. The Food&Drink Guide normally costs one euro but it’s FREE to readers who pick up their Courier at selected outlets next Friday. TWO freebies for the price of none - beat that!

THE Spanish daily newspaper ABC has launched an astonishing attack on the British Embassy for allegedly encouraging UK citizens to abuse the Spanish health system. Under the headline ‘The United Kingdom instructs its subjects to take advantage of the Spanish health system’, the paper took aim at the Embassy for simply outlining how the Spanish system works and explaining who is and isn’t entitled to public healthcare in Spain. The article in last Friday’s edition had a go at a guide on the Embassy’s website setting out the rules and documentation needed by different categories of Brits to claim health cover. The website gives advice to Britons working and paying into the Spanish system, students, resident pensioners, early retirees and holidaymakers. And it points out that if people are not entitled to healthcare, they need to take out private insurance cover. Similar guides are put out by British embassies all over the world. But ABC interpreted this sensible advice as a blatant attempt to encourage British citizens to abuse the And it attacked “health Spanish system. tourism”, using the term to The article complained refer to people coming to that the British Foreign Spain in order to take advanOffice, through the tage of the public health sysEmbassy’s guide, tem, which it said was recog“explained to British sub- nised by people in the British jects precisely how to ben- Isles as being one of the best efit from public health in in the world. our country”. The report put specific

Brits and Spanish healthcare: Embassy hits back at slurs

focus on the Valencian Community where it said health tourism was “widespread given the influx of British tourists to the Costa Blanca each summer and the 100,000 English who have a second residence in Alicante”. It stated that the health service in the commu-

nity every year served “800,000 foreign patients, mostly European, at a cost of 15 million euros for the regional coffers”. However, none of these patients could receive treatment for free unless they were entitled, a fact the ABC report did not mention. It also

failed to mention that the cost of treatment for many EU residents can be claimed back from the country where the patient is resident. ABC went on to say that according to the doctor’s union CESM, the interventions most in demand by health tourists are for cataracts and prosthesis “which are not covered by the state in the majority of countries”. The article neglected to add that these procedures are covered by the state in the UK. And ABC even attacked the Embassy for advising British citizens who live in Spain to sign on their town hall Padron, implying this was just some further ruse for Brits to get services for free in Spain, even though it is actually a requirement of the Spanish authorities. The

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Friday, April 20, 2012

I told Santa it wouldn’t go down the chimney TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

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Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003

WWF wield axe over king’s jumbo mistake THE World Wildlife Fund looks set to axe the Spanish King as honorary president after he angered members by hunting elephants in Botswana. The fund’s governing board held an extraordinary general meeting on Tuesday at which there was a unanimous agreement to amend the article naming King Juan Carlos as president. The WWF can only kick out the King with the approval of a general assembly, but the governing board has taken the first step. In a letter to the palace, the WWE secretary general in Spain, Juan Carlos del Olmo, expressed his “deep discomfort and concern” over the King’s actions. Meanwhile, police had to cordon off the entrance to the Madrid hospital where the King has been recovering from a hip replacement to keep out protesters.

By AMANDA BLACK Juan Carlos apologised for his behaviour just before leaving hospital on Wednesday. “I am very sorry, I have made a mistake and it will not happen again,” he said. The apology came after a national backlash over his Botswana antics, which only became public knowledge after he fell and broke his hip. The King did not make it clear if he was apologising for secretly going on the expensive jaunt at a time of austerity in Spain or for hunting elephants. A judge has archived an investigation into the accident in which the King’s grandson Felipe Juan Froilán shot himself in the foot. The judge found that there was no serious negligence in the accident, although the case could still be reopened.

THE Spanish Ministry of Health wants to end free prescriptions for pensioners, and force retired people to pay 10% of the cost of medications. The move was debated this week in parliament and is expected to be approved today (Friday). Those in work will also be forced to fork out more for medication, with their contribution hiked from the current 40% to half of the cost. Pensioners on a high income will be called on to pay 20%. But limits will be established to protect those with chronic illness.

GOT A STORY? Email office@thecourier.es or call us on 966 921 003

Lame excuse? King Juan Carlos leaves hospital after his hip replacement - with an apology

Friday Partly cloudy High 20° Low 11° Chance of rain 0% Monday Showers High 18° Low 11° Chance of rain 60%

Pensioners facing the end of free prescriptions

Tuesday Sunny High 26° Low 16° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Partly sunny High 23° Low 16° Chance of rain 8% Wednesday Sunny High 20° Low 14° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Partly sunny High 18° Lo 13° Chance of rain 8% Thursday Sunny High 23° Lo 15° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, April 20, 2012

THE COURIER’S No.1 FOR ADS!

ABC of healthcare abuse

WHEN Ricardo’s bar owner Jane Lilley started advertising her super-value Sunday lunches at El Raso, she could barely cope with the demand. And now history has repeated itself - with previously quiet Friday nights now packed out to listen to folk singing duo Frank Fitzgerald and Phil Fraser. “We have never had so many people in on a Friday,’’ says Jane. “And it’s all down to our advert in The Courier. There is no question that it is THE place to advertise.’’ Frank and Phil echo that sentiment. Says Dubliner Frank: ‘’People have even started coming to our jamming sess at the Papillon after seeing the Courier article about us. We can’t believe the response.’’

British Embassy in Madrid quickly put out a statement in an attempt to clarify the situation. It said: “The British Government does not condone or encourage “health tourism”. The aim of the advice provided by the British Embassy is to ensure that British nationals in Spain, whether tourists or residents, comply fully with Spanish and EU legislation in exercising both their rights and their obligations. “Spain receives over 13 million British visitors every year. It is in

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the clear interest of both the UK and Spain that these visitors know how to access the Spanish healthcare system correctly in case of need. This prevents unnecessary administrative cost and ensures that the UK can reimburse Spain accurately and efficiently in line with the specific provisions set out in EU legislation. Our website advice makes clear that the European Health Insurance Card does not cover those who come to Spain for the specific purpose of health treatment. “There are also many British

nationals resident in Spain. They are entitled to access the Spanish healthcare system, just as Spanish nationals resident in the UK are entitled to access the British healthcare system. The aim of our advice is to ensure that they do so in full compliance with Spanish legislation, including registration on the Padron.” A number of ABC’s readers were left unimpressed by the report, with comments on the publication’s website expressing surprise at the article’s misinterpretation of the Embassy guide.

IT’S ALL FIGHT ON THE NIGHT

LAST WEEK I looked at the local clubbing scene and explored the differences between Spanish and English youth – including the scary fights that litter a night out in the Costas.

Since my article I have been talking to various people about what I have seen during my three weeks In Spain so far. And one of my most vivid experiences is the sight of so many Brits acting embarrassingly after having drunk too much alcohol. I described a 4am fight that I witnessed outside a club on the Cabo Roig strip. The brawl started after the club had closed and involved three Brits, one of whom was acting as referee for the contest. I saw the other two take off their shirts and lay into each other with their fists group of boys so I tried to FOLLOWING her report until their faces were drip- help. When I went over he last week on a 4am fracas kicked me in the stomach. ping with blood. involving young Brits on That’s when we arranged to I was only an onlooker the Cabo Roig strip, and didn’t know the reason have the one on one fight.’’ trainee journalist ROSIE He explained to me that for the fight. But I have since STINSON tracked down tracked down one of those one of his close friends wantone of the expat teened to referee the fight to involved – a local expat agers involved in the teenager who from his make sure no-one got too brawl. And he insisted bulging muscles, clearly badly injured. that he does NOT go out He wanted to ensure that spends a lot of time in the looking for trouble... gym. And in an exclusive nobody else got involved and interview, he explained his that there would be no kickpunch-up was excessive said they should experience ing or head butting. The rule motives. drinking. On that particular walking around Helmand ‘‘The fight on Monday night was the first to give up loses. night there were a few rows province trying to evade the “When the other guy said happened over something and small mini-fights outside explosive devices planted by very silly,’’ he told me on con- he had had enough we both the club, all of which seemed the Taliban. He says that dition I don’t publish his shook hands and went to be fuelled by drink. would help them get fighting name. home.’’ The boy I spoke to, who out of their system and “I noticed a man getting My own initial thought was has lived in Spain for several “make them grow up”. It seems that some people into some trouble with a that the reason for the years, explained to me why I don’t just get into aggro was wrong. “It’s very rarely I fight because they have drunk too when I’m out as I don’t like to much. Some men actually when I have been drinking. I enjoy fighting. The boy bruiser explained always seem to attract a lot of trouble from drunken holi- to me that what I witnessed daymakers as they can all last Monday was an attempt to resolve a situation without see I train. people getting “When I’ve had a few other drinks I don’t like to fight, I involved. He also said he would rather sort the prob- fights because he enjoys it. He went on: “I never go out lem out the next day when looking for trouble but if it I’m sober.’’ As a student I am used to comes to me I’m always on seeing things like this when I guard to look after myself. I go out. But I find it difficult to train six days a week and understand what goes have always been involved through the heads of people with boxing and street fightwhen they get themselves ing. “Yes, I do like fighting into a bust-up. Having spoken to some of the older gen- but this doesn’t mean I go eration they find it even more out looking for it. If I’m out and I see a fight I always difficult to understand. My grandfather suggested try my best to calm the sitboys who enjoy fighting uation down.’ Everybody has their own should go into the Army. He

‘I never go out looking for trouble but if it comes to me I’m always on guard to look after myself’ opinion about fighting. Personally, I think it should be kept inside the boxing ring. According to this boy, his reasons for fighting were to resolve a problem; he didn’t want anyone getting badly injured. Maybe there are other ways to resolve something, but with alcohol so cheap and holidaymakers looking for a story to take home...I don’t think fighting outside night clubs is going to end anytime soon. The Spanish boys I know have witnessed many brawls and been involved in a few. They explained to me that every time they go out there is trouble.

My friends are used to holidaymakers being confrontational. They are not perfect themselves, either. If someone tries to start a fight with them, at some point they will fight back. However on many occasions, I have seen them try to shake hands and explain. They told me about one night in Quesada when they arrived late at an English nightclub. There was a group of English boys outside who had been asked to leave after a fight involving a smashed bottle. As soon as the Brits saw the group of Spanish boys, they tried to initiate a fight - seemingly just because the Spanish lads were ‘foreign’. The Spaniards laugh about it because they hadn’t even got inside and already the trouble had started. But unlike the Brits, my amigos just wanted a friendly night out. So they just left… mystified at what makes the young, alcohol-fuelled British mind tick.

Friday, April 20, 2012

JUST when I thought that getting sick in Britain couldn't get worse comes news that thousands of vulnerable patients are being discharged from hospitals in the middle of the night to free up beds. If this isn't a national scandal, I don't know what is. Many of these patients have been thrown out without hospital staff first checking that there are plans in place for their care when they get home. Some have been discharged in their pyjamas and without proper provision for their transport. Very often they are elderly and bewildered - and this is not only inhumane, in my book it's criminal. It makes me think that Britain is fast turning into a third-world country. The more I hear about these dreadful cases of inhumanity in Britain the more I'm convinced we're better off in Spain. Thank goodness that, at least at present, the Spanish still treat the elderly with respect and care. Long may it continue. Luckily for the Spanish, their family units remain far more intact than is the case in the UK, where family breakdowns have become the norm for years. Often, so very sadly, there is simply no-one in an elderly person's life who cares whether that person lives or dies welcome to Britain in the 21st century. Here's just one of the horrendous examples that have been revealed of heartless hospital staff sending patients out into the cold... Ellen Parker, 97, was taken to hospital after she fell and broke her pelvis. The hospital said it would keep her in overnight. But she was sent back to her astonished care home at 2am when her bed was needed. The hospital sent her home, not in an ambulance, but in a private car driven by a volunteer, so she was in "absolute agony" all the way. She had to go back to hospital the next day and was kept in for two weeks because her condition was so serious. Staff who act so inhumanely should be sacked, and so should members of ty under the Mental Trusts if they fail to manage Capacity Act 2005. hospitals properly. Until staff So stupidity is still very who do their jobs so much alive and well in good appallingly are booted out, old Britain. losing their pensions in the And here's an accident process, these dreadful bad with more than a little irony... practices will continue. A retired health and safety AND British stupidity official thought his neighdoesn't end in hospi- bour's shed was dangerous tals, it is alive and well at and offered to help her discare homes too, courtesy of mantle it. But it collapsed on top of him and he was found barmy 'elfâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and safety rules. A great-grandmother dead underneath the rubble. looked like she had 'been The sad story was revealed beaten up' after falling out of at the inquest. bed at her care home REGULAR readers of because of 'stupid' new my rants will know I health and safety rules ban- detest those super rich who ning bed bars. try every trick in the book She was rushed to hos- legal or illegal - to avoid tax, pital after cutting her more than benefit cheats. head, arm, hand and nose It amused me that when she fell three-and-a- Chancellor George Osborne half feet out of her care was "shocked" to discover home bed. some of the UK's richest The sides of her bed had people have so organised not been put up after a their finances that they pay Health and Safety Executive virtually no income tax, and (HSE) warning against using the highest earners pay side bars because they around 10 per cent. restrict 'free movement' Why the chancellor is allowing Mrs Jones to freely shocked I cannot imagine tumble out of bed. after all he and his predeApparently the new guidecessors have created all the lines say that bed bars loopholes for the rich to should only be used if there jump through. is 'no alternative' as their He now wants to close use can be construed as an unlawful deprivation of liber- some of the loopholes, or

THE HOSPITAL CARERS WHO COULD NOT CARE LESS is for everyone to feel the pain.

restrict some of the tax avoidance, which is costing the UK treasury hundreds of millions of pounds a year. But it's caused a backlash from charities, who fear that if the super rich cannot offset large amounts of their income by charity donations, they will contribute less to charities. Well, you super-rich, what is the motive for your giving - to avoid paying tax, or to help charitable causes? Don't you think vast amounts of tax money is not recycled to help poorer members of society? Is that not, in effect, charitable giving? I wish George Osborne every success on his quest to squeeze money from those, who, frankly, wouldn't miss a few million if it disappeared from their bank accounts. It would be a drop in the ocean. It's a long uphill struggle. He's got to persuade the rest of the world to get rid of tax havens, which help the rich get richer; put an end to the tricks that businesses can employ to avoid tax and end the abuses - like a millionaire who arranges to fly in his private jet into interna-

tional air space every few months to avoid UK residency and tax liability. It's these antics of the "great and the good" which deprive the government of the tax revenue it needs to help deserving people at the bottom of the ladder, and results in the rest of us paying more than otherwise would be the case. Here in Spain there's a similar exercise afoot - the government cracking down on the black economy of IVA (VAT) avoidance. Spain announced plans on Friday to crack down on tax dodgers as it tries to scrape together extra funds to meet stringent budget targets this year. Several independent economists estimate Spain's black market may account for up to one fifth of the economy, with many Spaniards working cash-in-hand to tide themselves over. A draft bill proposes to forbid cash payment for more than 2,500 euros and demand that taxpayers declare overseas assets. Failure to comply with the new measures will result in fines, the government said. The only way we're going to get out of the financial mess

MORE and more often I find myself banging on about the decline of the morals of people in Britain their standards going down the pan. And here's a perfect example. Nearly 600 British men have died during the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, most of them leaving war widows with young children alone with little support. These widows rightly have the nation's sympathy, but not so Kirianne Curley, whose husband Stephen was killed by a roadside bomb. Within months of his death, she had started an affair with, not one, but two of his best friends in the Army. When Stephen was alive, the trio were so close they were known in Afghanistan as the Three Musketeers. Before turning for sex with her husband's best friends, she should have considered the feelings of the grandparents of her infant son, William. That should have been enough to jolt her into reconsidering her impulsive love affairs. Many soldiers say that in the event of their death, their wives should move on and find happiness with another man. But not in a matter of weeks, surely. And not concurrently with her husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s two best friends. PEOPLE belonging to minority groups complaining of racial or religious intolerance is nothing new in Britain. But I was pleased to read that it is not always a one-way street. Recently a Muslim taxi driver ordered a family out of his cab after he spotted an unopened bottle of wine

being held by one of them. He ordered them out, abandoning them on the pavement, claiming it was against his religion to have alcohol in his vehicle. Ironically, the family had just been dining at an Indian restaurant. They complained to the taxi company - owned by a Muslim - and within 30 minutes the intolerant taxi driver had been sacked. The owner said the taxi driver was totally out of order to act as a moral policeman. There is some hope for the future! years it was a sick qFOR joke - if you were an

immigrant you would be far more likely to get social housing than if you were born in Britain. People joked about it during the Labour years, but it is actually true - half of all social housing in parts of England has gone to people born abroad. The true situation was fudged because in those areas where the influx was greatest, figures were not kept on whether or not those receiving social housing were immigrants. There are now almost five million people in the UK waiting for social housing, and poverty tsar Frank Field, who is a senior Labour MP, wants a shakeup of the way social housing is allocated. He has described the present situation as a scandal. He said: "This scandal must stop. I have a bill before Parliament that will ensure that those citizens who have made most contribution to society, who have paid their taxes and whose children have not caused trouble, for example, will have first choice of any housing available." Here's a Bill which cannot become law quickly enough.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Dragons beware, St George is coming to slay!

THE place to be next Monday is the promenade in Playa Flamenca. Pedro Mancebo, Orihuela’s Councillor for Tourism and Beaches, told us about the exciting fiesta day being organising to celebrate St. George´s Day, which is also a fiesta in Spain. The Town Hall has invited local associations, platformas, schools and other groups to participate to help make this day a fun day for all. Mancebo explained that on April 23, the fiesta of San Jorge, it is usual for ladies to receive red roses and gentlemen a book. In keeping with the Spanish tradition every visitor to the fiesta will receive a small gift next Monday. “We are not going to tell you what it is you will just have to visit the fiesta and find out for yourselves!’’ he said. “Apart from St. George, we will also have our very own namesake visiting the fiesta, in the form of Señor Jorge Cabre.’’ Pedro is delighted that Señor Cabre, the Councillor for Justice and Social Welfare within the Valencian Government, has accepted the invitation to attend. The fun-packed day will commence at 11am with the band ‘Just Brass’ opening the event. The parade will start at 12 noon and the organisers are delighted to have The Torrevieja Pipes and Drums and The Royal British Legion back again. A group of Roman soldiers from Orihuela town, complete in perfect costumes, will also take part in the parade. Says Pedro: “I do not want to say too much about other groups taking part as again this will spoil the surprise - but I will say ‘do not stand too close it might get a bit hot!’’’ Into the afternoon and four dance groups and a choir from the Centro Civico will perform on stage. This will be followed by some typical English Morris dancing rounded off with a theatre performance. From 5pm onwards, live bands will be on stage to entertain the crowd and they might just encourage some folk to take to the floor

and dance. All this entertainment and perhaps some dancing will certainly make you hungry and thirsty - but don’t worry, there will be stalls selling food and drink so you will not miss one bit of it. The Town Hall’s thanks go to the Traders’ Association of Orihuela Costa for their assistance and support with the refreshments. However, the celebration is not only about fiesta and partying - it is about helping each other. For this reason it has been organised to help and support all the local charities in Orihuela Costa and in Orihuela Town. Pedro explains: “As everyone is aware we have to ‘slay the dragon’ every day in form of the economic crisis - and St George’s Day is a great opportunity for us all to help those people who are less fortunate than ourselves.’’ He concluded: “We are looking forward to a very colourful and entertaining day next Monday. “During the next few months we have other events and fiestas planned, all with different themes, each one aimed at certain members of our community which at the same time give everyone the chance to come together and strengthen our community spirit. “So don´t forget 11am on Monday head towards the beach at Playa Flamenca – we look forward to seeing you there!

St. George’s Day programme

11:00 Just Brass 12:00 Parade: Pipes & Drums, Royal British Legion, horse and dragon etc., 13:00 Centro Civico – with four dance groups: Tango, modern and a Flamenco duo and also a choir – 13:00 until 15:00 16:00 Morris Dancers 16:30 Theatre Group 17:00 Various tribute artists until 19:00 (Dusty Springfield, Cliff Richard etc). The Pearly King and Queens will make an appearance 19:00-20.00: The Monos Band TKO Radio and The Courier will be in attendance

Friday, April 20, 2012

SMOKING GUNS DONNA GEE’S RECENT ARTICLE ON SPANISH DEFIANCE OF THE BAN ON SMOKING IN BARS AND RESTAURANTS SPARKED A BLAZING INFERNO OF REACTION. THESE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE COMMENTS For the full reaction, go to http://www.eyeonspain.com/blogs/donnagee.aspx

ing and non-smoking bars. You would soon see which survived and people such as yourself would be more than welcome to use the nonsmoking variety and sit with other like-minded intolerant bigots. Or more than likely sit alone. DON LOUIS

WHAT smokers take no regard of is the effect on other people. I suffer from severe asthma, no fault of my own just bad genes, but the result is, if anyone smokes near me I am plunged into a possibly fatal reaction. The smoker’s worldwide attitude of ‘it’s my life and I'll do what I want with it’ doesn't hold water. ‘It's my life and you're killing me’!

is not 'our' country, qTHIS we are guests here. If

In Spain, I have to search very hard for a place to eat out. Non smokers are NOT catered for, no matter what the law. I even find when, in the height of summer, I ask to dine inside to get away from the smoke, someone always comes in smoking to pay the bill or go to the bathroom and no one says anything. I’ve had to resort to walking out or suffer for days. Smokers in Spain, not just the Spanish, are extremely exploitive and totally ride roughshod over my right for clean air by shouting that THEIR rights are being eroded.

Thank God for people power

FROM the tone of this piece it is obvious that the q writer is a non-smoker, as am I. The difference is that I don't go around trying to threaten/cajole others into doing as I do. This is Spain, not the UK - you remember, that depressing over-taxed, over-legislated hellhole we all came out here to escape. What the writer sees happening in bars is people breaking the Law - and she doesn't like it. What I see happening in bars is people-power in action. And I thank God for it. I have lived in Spain for over 18 years now and I am always gratified to see the Spanish people standing up for themselves against unjustified and often petty legislation. Long may it continue. Some bars are letting people smoke, some are not. Noone has to use a bar where smoking is allowed if smoking offends them. I detest football so there are some evenings when it is difficult to find somewhere I can escape it. But I don't go around muttering darkly about passive-football damaging the minds of passers-by. For the terminally-unhappy expat there is always the ultimate - go back to the ‘sunny’ UK. STEVE LEE

The intolerant face of non-smokers

I USED to be a smoker and I am happy with the law. q The things that bothers me is that my smoking friends are shut out just because non-smokers are the most intolerant people on the planet. If a non-smoker has 90 out of 100 bars to go to, then why should you complain when smokers only have 10 or less out of a 100. I live in Spain as well, I was raised with cigarettes so to speak. Next thing on the list is alcohol, because it kills. It causes bar fights, it causes accidents, hence directly hurting others and themselves. I ask the writer of this article, are you being selfish or intolerant? Would you want your glass of wine taken away from you, just because there is a slight chance you hurt somebody by drinking? I have learned to respect people's choices and if that means that they want to run the risk of dying earlier or paying a huge fine, who am I to judge? Or you? When you sit in a bar, don't forget that it is NOT your bar. You are in private property which is not even state-owned. Still you claim that because YOU go there, smoking should be prohibited. We’ve become very intolerant towards one another. Exactly the thing that bothers me. If there are 10 smokers and I am the only non-smoker then is it really that hard for me to sit through a couple of hours of their habit? I say, look at the law in Holland. Some places yes, some places no. Criteria well put and everybody is happy. Freedom and respect. It should also come from us, we are the so-called health brigade. Intolerance is the downfall of all. DAVID CRUSE

You don't drink toilet cleaner, you know it will kill you, you don’t take arsenic, you know it kills. As these chemicals are in the smoke of cigarettes, perhaps I will sue the Government for allowing state endorsed, attempted murder if they don't enforce their laws UNIX UNTIL 18 months ago, I intended to move to Spain. When they started with the smoking nonsense plus went crazy on speeding, drink driving, and MOTs I changed my mind. So there is another house sitting unsold and the government didn't get huge sums in taxes from me to have the pleasure of buying a roof over my head. Nor do they get sales tax revenue as I've not been there since Nov 2010. Good luck bureaucrats know nothing, are illogical, spread misery and are pond life who seek to ensure that people are slaves to the state. Certainly the concept of free citizens is a total joke. To criminalise smoking whilst collecting the tax revenue as it is legal in fact to smoke makes me wonder when rather than if, we'll see politi-

RESPECT THE LAW AT the end of the day, laws are laws. The same way q we shouldn't speed or steal, smoking laws are there to be respected.

I am partial to the odd cigar now and then but I also realise that it really is annoying and awful for non smokers to have to inhale my smoke. I am happy to puff away outside. When I was in Stockholm recently people were smoking outside of the bars in temperatures below zero. If they can respect the law and smoke outside in freezing temperatures, there really is no reason why this cannot be the same in (much warmer) Spain. JUSTIN cians hanging by the neck from lamp posts. They depend totally on apathy. The problem coming is people are waking up and getting very angry. DJ IF politicians really wanted to ban smoking they'd ban the sale of tobacco products. Then they would have to increase taxes to make up the shortfall in revenue. How many non-smoking zealots would be happy to pay say a basic rate of 30% for Income Tax and 30% VAT ? Not too many I know. If 25% of the population smoke, why can’t 25% of bars and restaurants allow smoking, there's room in this

world for everyone. Incidentally, I don't smoke...! WELL, Donna Gee, what a very intolerant article. The solution is simple, if as some people seem to think, the government is concerned for your health they should ban the sale of all tobacco products. Have you any idea of the revenue involved? In the UK you are talking about £45 million a day and you can bet your life you would be one of the first complaining about the tax increases needed to cover this. Needless to say, a total ban will not happen so the obvious answer is for smok-

the Spanish want to ignore the law, that's their right and we must fit in with their way of doing things. Those of us who left the UK because we are over regulated, over watched, and over taxed should be glad that we now live in a more tolerant environment, with a lot more common sense applied to daily living - e.g.if you trip over a paving stone here you can't sue the council but should have been watching where you were walking. We are not all three years old as the UK government seems to think, we are capable of having a say in our own lives and taking responsibility for ourselves. If the Spanish want to bend the rules on smoking we shouldn't interfere but find a bar or restaurant that suits us. No-one forces us to go to places where smoking happens. massive amounts of revenue. VIVVY WHAT gets me about q Spain and also EU legislation also is the daft lack of common sense on the penalties of crime. A €600,000 fine for smoking in a non-smoking area! Maybe it would be better for me to start a career in theft - gold bullion would be an appealing area... I bet the fine for being caught at that is not as much as €600,000, for sure. Stealing and abusing people in the street or home seems to carry a zero fine! There should be intelligence tests before people are allowed into situations where they dictate laws and rules. MICK

Smoking is pants for my hubby I HAVE always been a non-smoker after one puff at a teenage party put me off for life!! After enduring years of being smoked over in restaurants, I am pleased that I can finally go out and enjoy a meal in the knowledge that I won't come back smelling like a chimney! I don't try and preach to others about how they should live their lives - smoking or non-smoking - but I also do not expect them to force their smoke on me. My husband used to be a smoker (never in the house) and was so for

over 30 years. He has spent the last two years of his life on a couch - hardly able to cross the room without panting for breath - and the only time he leaves the house is in an ambulance. Now we both have to live with the consequences of his smoking! ABBBB1 I HAVE never smoked and if people wish to endanger their health by smoking, that is their problem. It is not for me to preach; it is between them and their health specialist. Smokers who come to my home, have their cigarette out on the terrace, not because I ask them but because that

is what they themselves want to do. It shows consideration on their part. However, I don't think smokers should selfishly endanger the health of others. When smoking was permitted in public places and restaurants, it was impossible to have a pleasant meal or drink. My eyes would become red and sore, and I would start to cough. Also, one's clothes and hair were steeped in the smell of tobacco. So I do think it is important to have these regulations. And people power works both ways. I think, IMO, I have some rights too. PATRICIA, Campana

Friday, April 20, 2012

Jekyll can’t Hyde from our English Rose ELSEWHERE in today’s Courier, trainee reporter Rosie Stinson probes the bizarre minds of those arrogant, aggresssive alcohol-fuelled Brits on the Costas whose heads are devoid of brain cells. Their bodies, it seems, function entirely on testosterone - that peculiarly male hormone which in its purest form can turn human beings into Neanderthal lowlife.

Rosie, on 24-hour story watch (coupled with a little partying to relieve the boredom), encountered a couple of these moronic creatures brawling on the Cabo Roig strip at 4am the other moning. Believing from the madness of the melee that she may have unearthed descendants of the notorious Henry Jekyll and Edward Hide, she went home, sank her teeth into Facebook - and ended

up chatting online to one of the participants, who apparently does a pretty good impersonation of a rational human being during the daytime. That dream date with Jekyll’s great grandson never did materialise. But Rosie did obtain an interview with the bruised but defiant combatant...along with a remarkable insight into the twisted brain pattern of those testy males who

suffer from ‘smack in the gob’ disease’. Rosie is studying journalism at Salford University and on her very first work experience venture. She won’t be 21 until May but it’s already clear that she has a successful career ahead of her - either at home in Manchester or here on the Costa Blanca. Well, what else do you want me to say about my granddaughter?

JUST GRAND, THIS NATIONAL!

I’VE never been much of a betting person….and certainly not where horse-racing is concerned.

My negativity has nothing to do with the cruelty of the Grand National fences, either. It’s just that I find the whole scenario eminently BORING. I accept that Mr Ed and his gelded lilies have to be better conversationalists than some of the old nags of the human variety I’ve met in my time. But while I love football, rugby and most ball games, I find the so-called Sport of Kings a right royal pain in the rump. Horseracing’s only redeeming feature as far as I am concerned is that it’s a lot quieter than its equally boring mechanical equivalent, NO matter how hard they the Formula One noise boys. argue, the so-called Yet until I learnt of the tragexperts will never convince ic deaths of those two poor me that injured racehorses horses – one of them the need to be put down. Grand National favourite Particularly as most horseracing and I actually owners have enough became good friends on money to provide the poor creature with a round-the- Saturday afternoon. Yes, just hours after the clock personal nurse until WHITE HOT: superstitious amongst us had it is hoofing about again as Neptune Collonges been walking on Friday the if nothing had ever hapscrapes home 13th eggshells, I actually pened. and I am £129.25 That is the least they owe found something to cheer better off the poor horse for exploit- about. ing it to enhance their staI’ve never been fazed by tus in the racing world - Friday the 13th, nor have I name, but it was the only and hopefully make them ever suffered any sort of neg- horse I chose out of the 40 even richer. ative experience on that day . runners – and I put the bet on From the pictures I saw But I now know that purely to add a bit of interest of Grand National favourite Saturday the 14th is my to the TV broadcast of the Synchronised on its feet LUCKY day…and anyone race. waiting to be put down, the I had considered turning who suggests otherwise is horse did not need to die. the telly off because I feel for talking a load of fetlocks. And if there was no way to Yes, I backed the Grand the poor horses in such an save its life, then the people who know the facts National winner for the first exhausting and dangerous need to get their message time of my life … and in the race. But when I saw this dirtyacross much more most unlikely set of circumlooking white nag parading emphatically. I for one am stances. I still can’t remember its among dozens of shiny not convinced...

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brown ones I thought, ‘If I put some money on No.4 to win, at least I will actually be able to SEE it during the race.’’ So I invested a mammoth £3 each way on Neptune Woteveritsnameis, using a dormant internet account I had all but forgotten I had and sat down with a couple of friends to watch the main Aintree event. Now, on the rare occasions I have gambled on

horses in the past, I have invariably lost, so I was absolutely convinced this one would fall or pull up in the first couple of fences. It didn’t – but I probably would not have noticed if it had fallen. The reason is that until the last couple of minutes of the race, I followed a different white horse around, thinking

it was mine. Then, approaching the final fence, I saw the No.4 on the side of this unlikely creature as it raced towards the finishing post, moving closer and closer to the leader with every stride. With 100 yards to go, it seemed certain Neptune Thingamajig wouldn’t quite make it…and even though the two horses crossed the line together I was convinced mine had lost by an inch. I was wrong…it won. At 33-1. And I picked up £129.25 off Ladbroke’s… .my first-ever win on the horses of more than a couple of pounds. To anyone with a heart, the abiding memory of Saturday will be the deaths of those two unfortunate casualties, Synchronised and According To Peter. But how can I forget the unexpected bonus I galloped away with? I honestly can’t remember the name of the horse but I’m ready to drink a toast to Neptune Whatjamacallit any time. Just pour me a whisky… and make sure it’s White Horse.

Friday, April 20, 2012

THAT’S ANOTHER FINE MESS

I USED to enjoy decorating my humble home although I was never really that skilled at sprucing

up stuff. As I commenced to get stuck in (mixing water and wallpaper powder into a lumpy paste or plunging my brush haphazardly into the bashed-open paint tin), Mrs S would bring me the first in a constant supply of over-sweetened tea and crumbly chocolate digestives with which to maintain my energy levels. I believed sincerely that my wife admired my DIY expertise - but her entrance every 15 minutes into the room I was attempting to beautify was in actuality a strategy to check on my progress or lack of it. Once, she even had the audacity to comment: 'Don't you think we should get a proper decorator in?' Insulted and hurt and splodged with great gouts of primer, I buttoned up my overcoat over the aforementioned undercoat and walked the streets until my angry emulsions . . sorry, emotions . . . began to subside. I pondered whether primal man suffered woad rage when his cave decorating went wrong. As I cooled off I became aware that I was being followed down the road by a strange albino dog. 'Go away!' I snapped but the beast would not be put off. Every time I stopped, the mutt halted, too. Sitting patiently on the pavement until I set off again, the pooch would wag its white bushy tail, sweeping cigarette dogends into the gutter. And then it started to rain. As the water soaked into its fur, the strange dog metamorphosed from a weird snowy creature into a familiar brown one. 'Brian!' I shrieked as realisation dawned. My doomed attempt at decorating had also damaged the street cred of my unfortunate pet. I removed the remaining paint from the dog with an allpurpose cloth I always carry with me for emergencies. Then Brian and I went home. My living room resembled the aftermath of a Laurel and Hardy slapstick sketch. Paint, paste and scrunched-up lengths of wallpaper were spattered and scattered all over the place. Which reminds me. As a mere lad I actually saw Laurel and Hardy on stage. It was the mid-1950s and the dynamic comedy duo were winding down their career with a European theatre tour. I was privileged to be in the front stalls of Manchester's Hulme Hippodrome and I swear to this day that Stan Laurel acknowledged my presence.

I nudged my mother. 'The thin one has just winked at me,' I announced blissfully. Mother nudged her friend Matilda who was seated on the other side of her. 'Our David said Stan Laurel just winked at him.' Matilda stifled a snort. 'Tell your David not to fantasise or he will grow up self-delusional.' I didn't like Matilda much but I let that remark go because I was a mere boy and also Matilda was one of my mother's best pals. (Mrs S has just read over that last bit and wants to know exactly how many mothers I had!) Anyway, Matilda's son, who was roughly my age, had declined to accompany us to the Laurel and Hardy show because he didn't appreciate the twosome's humour. That was quite understandable, I guess, for Matilda's son grew up to become a professional painter and decorator, so any slapstick antics such as I guffawed at on stage that evening would probably have left him disgusted. So where was I . . . oh, yes, my dog Brian and I arrived home to find that Mrs S had got Matilda's son round to our house double-quick in order to remedy the botched job I had made of the living room. Matilda's son tutted a few times as he surveyed the chaotic state of his surroundings. 'Blimey,' he muttered. 'This looks like the aftermath of a Laurel and Hardy sketch.' 'I've already THOUGHT that!' I declared irately. 'But, anyway, how would you know? You never appreciated the greatest comedy double act that ever emerged from Hollywood. And what is more, I saw them live on stage and you didn't.' 'I know that,' said Matilda's son. 'But my mother saw them, too, and she wasn't all that impressed.' 'Your mother insulted me!' I snapped. 'And besides, MY mother at least had a sense of humour while YOUR mother was a miserable so and so.' Mrs S clapped her hands. 'Now, now, girls. Desist.' Suddenly, I caught sight of something that sent a chill through my heart. 'Oh, my goodness!' I yelled. 'Just look at our Brian. He's foaming at the mouth! Quick, phone the vet! Will he make a home visit? I'd better tidy up the place.' I started to spin round in circles until Mrs S grabbed me in a bear hug. 'Calm down,' she ordered me. 'Brian's not ill. You've only gone and filled the washing-up bowl with soapy water and left it on the floor to clean your flaming paintbrush. Brian obviously thought we'd got him a new drinks container.' 'Thank God,' I sighed. 'For one moment I thought our Brian had had it. I love and respect that lunatic moron of a mongrel.' Matilda's son shook his head. 'I see you are as expert at

diagnosing animal ailments as you are at painting and decorating.' 'Well, what was I to think,' I grumbled. 'I've already watched Cujo 15 times. And what a scary movie that was.' Mrs S turned to Matilda's son. 'Would you please give me an estimate to make my living room habitable again.' 'Hmm,' said Matilda's son, scratching his chin. 'I reckon it's going to cost a pretty penny.' 'Ah-ha!' I exclaimed triumphantly. 'I want that in writing.' I went to fetch a pencil and paper. But in negotiating a route around the wallpaper paste bucket I managed to step into the paint tray. However, I think we should gloss over that... AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT – the end of last week’s column! The last 13 lines were somehow omitted so, just in case anyone noticed, here is the final, fantastic finale of ‘Cough! Let’s hear it for the chemist…’ I started to bounce up and down in a desperate attempt to reach the safety hatch in the lift's ceiling. Spike chuckled. 'The only thing you will achieve by doing that, my best pal, is that you will use up all the air in this elevator and we shall no doubt suffocate in consequence.' I formed my fingers into strangling mode and swore to myself that if he did not stop calling me his mate I would ensure he was the first of us to run out of air. 'Actually,' I said as I concluded my story in the pub, 'The only thing that stopped me from permanently imobilising Spike was that I would have been unable to flee the scene of the crime.' 'So what happened next?' asked my fellow members of the pub discussion group. 'Oh, I made one last leap into the air, the lift juddered into life and dropped to the next floor. The doors opened and Spike and I were free to walk away . . . in opposite directions, of course.' 'What a cracking tale,' enthused Dave the barman. 'Tell us another.' I looked at my watch and shook my head. 'Sorry, fellers. Got to go. 'Mrs S has an awful cough and I need to get to the chemist's.'

Friday, April 20, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSON 16 LAST week’s answers are: No hay leche en mi refrigeradora ahora – There isn’t any milk in my fridge now, en mi clase de español hay más de quince estudiantes – In my Spanish class there are more than 15 students, hay un televisor en mi dormitorio – there is a television in my bedroom, hay más personas en México que en el República Dominicana – There are more people in Mexico than in the Dominican Republic, ¿Cuántos personas hay en Inglaterra? - How many people are there in England? This week we are going to continue learning verbs. We’ll concentrate on one verb in particular which can be used in different ways. It is a very versatile verb and a very important one to learn and to remember, in particular the situations where it is used. The verb in question is TENER, which means TO HAVE. Here are its conjugations. (Note: Tener is an IRREGULAR verb, i.e. it does not follow the tables in the previous lessons). So, when is TENER used? It is used to show possession, obligation, age and as an idiomatic expression. Possession: This is the simplest and most often used form of TENER

libro – they have the book. Obligation: In order to show obligation you have to use the following word structure: Tener (conjugated) + que + infinitive Examples: TENGO QUE practicar el piano – I have to practice the piano, TIENES QUE estudiar – You have to study, Juan TIENE QUE estudiar – John has to study, ¿TENEMOS QUE comer esta carne? - Do we have to eat this meat?, TENÉIS QUE limpiar la casa – You have to clean the house, Ellos TIENEN QUE bailar – They have to dance. Remember! When you use the VERB

tener as an obligation, you have to use the second VERB in the inifinitive; that is, with the IR, ER or AR ending. This is something that can confuse people but remember, whenever you use two verbs together the first is the conjugated verb, i.e who is doing it, and the second is the infinitive, i.e the normal verb, with IR, ER or AR ending. TENER QUE is no exception.

Examples: TENGO un perro – I have a dog, TIENES una cocina – you have a kitchen, TIENE un gato – he has a cat, TENEMOS cinco euros – we have five euros, TENÉIS una casa bonita – you have a nice house, Ellos TIENEN el

Age: In English we use the verb ´to be´ to show age, for example I AM 20 years old. In Spanish, however, we use the verb ´tener´ - the literal translation being I have 20 years, you have twenty years, etc. TENGO veinte años, TIENES veinte años.

When asking the age of someone (or something), you literally ask how many years they (it) have (has) : Examples: ¿Cuántos años TIENES tú? - How old are you? (How many years do you have?) ¿Cuántos años TIENE Juan? - How old is Juan, ¿Cuántos años TIENE el coche? - How old is the car? Idiomatic Expression: There are several phrases in Spanish that use TENER when in English we use TO BE. For example, instead of BEING hungry (an adjective) we HAVE hunger (a noun). Here are a list of the common expressions - note by whether we use muchA or muchO as to whether the noun is masculine or feminine: TENER (mucha) hambre – to be (very) hungry; TENER (mucha) sed – to be (very) thirsty; TENER (mucho) frío – to be (very) cold; TENER (mucho) calor – to be (very) hot; TENER (mucho) miedo – to be (very) afraid; TENER (mucha) suerte – to be (very) lucky; TENER (mucha) prisa; to be in a (big) hurry; TENER (mucho) sueño; to be (very) sleepy, tired; TENER razón – to be right (correct); no TENER razón – to be wrong. So we can see there are lots of uses for just this one verb, which makes it a very important verb to learn, and as it is not conjugated as a regular verb it is one that needs to be learned on its own. However, once you have learned this conjugation you will find it relates to certain other verbs that we will learn in future lessons. For homework this week, translate the following sentences into Spanish. It is easy because you know we are using the verb TENER; however, in future lessons this will not be clear so make sure this week you spend some time getting familiar with this verb and when to use it. Remember, for YOU we use TÚ I am hungry, I have to eat, I have a book, I am 35 years old, you are thirsty, do you have a dog? you have to learn Spanish, you are correct, how old is the cat?, she has two brothers, we have to buy a car, how many sisters do you have?, he is 40 years old, I have a drink, I have to drink.

Friday, April 20, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

PERROS KEEP COOL, WE’RE ON OUR WAY RIGHT: Jean, with (from left) our dogs Billy, Lola, Pickle and Pedro (foreground)

Now where did you put your passport, Billy?

THESE are exciting times for my wife and myself, along with our five dogs and three cats, because at last we have decided to take the plunge and move to Spain. We will be living in the Alicante region very soon and any advice anyone has for us will be received with great appreciation at my normal email address, which is peter@thedogyouneed.com We are currently making progress at learning the language, but are well aware that there are going to be many other things to familiarise ourselves with - and we are looking forward to the challenge. We spent six months in Spain last year helping rescue centres, and although for the first few months I missed London with a passion, we soon realised that the Spanish are warm and welcoming people and it was really sad to say goodbye to such wonderful neighbours. One of the main pulls to the country was that I have always wanted to create a Behaviour and Rescue Centre, where I take in and help as many street dogs, or psychologically damaged dogs as I can from other rescue

Any dog with a heartbeat can change from negative behaviour centres, rehabilitate them and then find them new homes. As far as I am concerned, any dog with a heartbeat can change from any negative behaviour. So the beauty is that members of the public would be rescuing a dog from me with no issues at all. To rehabilitate a ‘rock bottom’ rescue dog into a balanced one and to see that dog get a responsible, loving home will be really rewarding and emotional. As well as this I will be offering my one-to-one consultation service to people - and my previous clients have really benefited from this. All of my consultations include a home visit with no time limit at all. During the visit I talk to the client about the different problems they are experiencing with their dogs and I then advise them how my techniques can help, as well as a whole host of other important tips and topics. We

then work practically with the dog in question. After each consultation, every client receives a personal report on everything we talked about during the visit, so that they do not forget anything. The final benefit of a consultation is the lifetime support. I will also be offering dog behaviour talks throughout the Costa Blanca. People in the UK have really learnt a lot and enjoyed these relaxed and informative events. Also my wife, Jean, will be offering a dog walking and pet sitting service. For those of you looking for a kennel where your dog can stay while you are away, we will also be offering this, but with a slight twist! When your dogs come to stay with us, they will not be locked up in a kennel in isolation, with only two walks per day. Along with those two walks a day, they will be spending time with our pack and will only be in their kennel

for feeding and for sleeping after a hard day full of activity. This includes agility and a plunge pool for the dogs to cool off in. We are aiming to make it ‘dog heaven’ and we will love and care for your dogs as much as we love and care for our pack, which is lots! Finally, for the dogs I meet on a consultation who need extra help, there will be a service where they can home with me and be rehabilitated with the support of my pack of dogs. This, I think will be really valuable for many owners and their dogs who are desperate for assistance. We are so looking forward to our new adventure and are passionate and 100% dedicated to providing the most enriching experience for domesticated dogs and for dogs in need that the Costa Blanca has ever seen. If you would be interested in any of the services we have to offer, or have any comments, we would love to hear from you at the above e-mail address. But for now we have to get back to packing and checking the pet passports! Hasta luego!

Friday, April 20, 2012

HEY LOOK, IT’S THE NEW LOOK LOOK! If you have never visited the Second-hand Warehouse in sionally cleaned. We offer part exchange, free local delivery San Miguel, then you don't know what you are missing! and a friendly staff whose service is second to none. Full of fantastic bargains in furniture, white goods, garden If you can’t find what you are looking for, we will try our furniture and new beds at disbest to find it for you. If you are sellcounted prices. Everything you ing, we buy from one item to a comneed to completely furnish your plete household clearance, and pay home at a fraction of the cost of the best prices in town. Find us off buying new. the High Street in San Miguel de No-one has money to waste in Salinas (opposite the Nut House Bar). this present climate, and believe DONT TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT, us, this is one place where your COME ALONG AND HAVE A LOOK money will definitely NOT be wastAND BE AMAZED! ed! We sell only top-quality used For more information, telephone furniture and all furniture is profes865 999 054/635 290 603

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Friday, April 20, 2012

STUCK IN A RUT

HERE it comes - another Friday night in front of the television, or checking out the internet, or maybe reading a book or practising Spanish.

Whatever happens, it´s the same choices. Every day, the thought is there and the word comes into mind - that little, three-letter word that no one likes to hear and even fewer people like to have used about them. But I think I may be getting stuck in a rut. For me winter is different to summer. I am a person who likes the heat - the hotter the better. I love, I mean absolutely adore those balmy summer nights where I can sit outdoors and watch my son play. However, winter changes me, I no longer want to go out, it´s too cold for me to walk to my local bar, my son seems to get more tired, all my friends are in the UK over winter¸ the excuses just keep coming. It is a rut that I could pull myself out of although, don´t get me wrong, I actually like being at home. I enjoy watching the television and surfing the net, but I feel that I would like to be out more, take my own advice and get out there, socialise,

meet people, talk with adults rather than a rather delightful, yet limited four year old. Single people need to make the decisions for ourselves, we have no one to discuss them with. Shall I go out sounds slightly less normal than shall we go out. Couples can also make the decision together to leave the comfort of their sofa

for a few hours, take a walk to a local bar or café, have a change of scenery and relax for an hour or two. So how do I pull myself out of this and get out the house? I want to go out, I like going to my local bar, chatting to the bar staff, having a nice glass of wine in a warm bar while my son plays on the computer with the wifi connection! It saves me money not having to heat my flat, and wine and juice are pretty cheap here. I don´t need another evening in watching repeats of American dramas because I don´t have English language television and the Spanish programmes aren´t my cup of tea. Well, apart from a couple of quiz shows that I quite like. But for drama, I´d rather watch Spanish paint dry than a Spaniard act; no offence but really, have you seen Spanish television? I am not worried about going to a bar with just my son, the problem is motivation, so I need something to pull me out. And the only thing I have, along with all the other parents who are on their own, or single people, is my own get-up-andgo, which hasn´t got up and gone for far too long. So, tonight I think I will go out. If you´re out and about wherever I end up, feel free

to come over and have a chat - and if you don´t see me, feel free to chat to anyone who you do see. The worst they can say is that they don´t want to talk, and the chances are they will welcome some company, be it a couple, a single parent or a person on their own. It´s true that a marathon starts with a single step …as does leaving the comfort of your house, getting out and about and enjoying life in this beautiful country we have chosen to make our home.

Friday, April 20, 2012

RACE-KING BERNIE ON TRACK FOR A KOREA CHANGE MIXING sport and politics is as dangerous a combination as Katie Price trying to have a successful long-term relationship with a man. As always, two-facedness and double standards abound aplenty, and we’ve seen that with the mighty midget who runs Formula One, Bernie Ecclestone. Remember, he’s the guy who tried to stuff a million notes into Tony Blair’s back pocket, barely days after the Cheshire Cat grinner had stepped over the Downing Street threshold for the first time in 1997. Human rights don’t seem to figure too highly on Bernie’s list of priorities, as he’s totally happy about Sunday’s Grand Prix going ahead in Bahrain after being forced to call it off last year due to the volatile political situation, with his race teams screaming at him. They’re not exactly leaping up and down about being there this weekend, either. I’m sure if there’d been a race scheduled for Homs in Syria, Bernie would have been shouting as loud for it as his vocal chords would let him. It’s pathetic, and doubly so that Ecclestone’s comments came from Shanghai last weekend, where the Chinese Grand Prix was being staged. That’s another country where opposition and human rights are trashed on a daily basis, but where people want to suck up to the Beijing regime at every opportunity to make their bit of money. Do you remember the propaganda event that was the Beijing Olympics four years ago, and the naive stupidity that was uttered by the International Olympic Committee about how the Games would open up China and democracy? It was the same garbage that was spewed out prior to a certain Adolf Hitler using the 1936 Berlin Games for his own purposes. Nobody ever seems to learn, but I have a ground-breaking suggestion for Bernie, should he really want to push the boat out. He should bring his F1 circus to Pyongyang next year for the inaugural North Korean Grand Prix, where the tyrants are desperate for something to shout about after their rocket launch disaster was the equivalent of a wet Standard Firework dumping itself on an unhappy neighbour’s greenhouse.

If the proverbial is hitting the fan, then the best trick in the book is to get out of the country, and get some nice smiles on camera. Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher and Bill Clinton were specialists at that, and David Cameron, on recent evidence, has developed the same knack. He got the ultimate photo-opportunity standing next to the brave and wonderful Burmese politician, Aung San Suu Kyi, in her Rangoon garden - totally unthinkable even a year ago. This was after the PM had met the Burmese President, telling him that he would press for sanctions against the country to be relaxed, after allowing genuine democratic elections that allowed Suu Kyi to be elected to office. You can’t overplay how big this story is, and whilst Cameron has idiots advising him on domestic matters, he’s clearly got some folk with brain cells at the Foreign Office

pointing him in the right direction. He seems far more relaxed on the world stage compared to dealing with inconsequential rubbish, like increased VAT on hot pasties. And perhaps that’s the point, and a crucial one. Is being the first Western leader to go to Burma for many years, and leading the fight against Gaddafi in Libya last year, far more significant to humanity as opposed to whether a piece of junk food is microwaved? At times, both the British media and the politicians focus too much on trivia that just doesn’t matter. Not trivial at all is the date of Sunday May 6, 2012. Unless it happens to be your birthday, you must be wondering why I’m drawing it to your attention. On that date, the weary Greeks go to the polls in their General Election, and you can stand by for a massive kick in the pants for the country’s main two political parties, with all sorts of questions set to be asked about the future of the Euro. The Greek equivalents of Labour and the Tories have dreadfully and corruptly mismanaged the country for the last 40 years, and are facing political Armageddon. Strong stuff, you might say, but in an opinion poll earlier this week, their combined rating was barely 30 per cent, with the voters set to vent their anger at their incompetence by voting for extreme left and right-wing parties, who are pledged to tell the EU to get stuffed over their bailout terms. History tells us that if democratic mainstream parties don’t get their act together, extremists start to rise in popularity as the electorate feel disenfranchised and not listened to. There are lessons for every country including the UK and Spain over this, and it’s not just economic experts that will be shuddering in fear on Monday May 7. The Labour leader, Ed Miliband, is absolutely right when he says that big money should be taken out of funding British political parties. But we’ve had so many wise words on this subject over the years, and not surprisingly, little in the form of action. He’s suggested a £5,000 cap on individual donations, which the Tories described as meaningless. Boo-hiss to the Tories then, but will Mr Miliband show that he really means business by removing the £10 million a year his party gets from trade union affiliation fees? I don’t think so. Or perhaps, the wealthy Bernie Ecclestone could fund the whole shooting match?

Friday, April 20, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

CLARO’S downhill slide CLARO had an incredible success at the elections last May. We could change the majority of the PP Party, pushing them into the opposition. That was a significant signal to start changes in Orihuela into a new era and also for a new internal process of CLARO. But CLARO missed this chance and has stagnated since the elections instead of beginning the process which people expected from the party. Unfortunately you cannot recognise any re-planning or progress. In August I had a meeting with committee members, who promised that there would be a complete re-planning, re-structuring of every aspect of the CLARO Party and a review of the CLARO-CLR alliance, policies and procedures. I believed that and thought the CLARO committee was on the right path towards bring the party forward, working hard on all important subjects. But what happened? Nothing!

I noticed that Bob Houliston began to govern the CLARO Party with an appalling leadership. He made a serious mistake neither to inform the German members about the AGM last November nor to invite them. Because of his undemocratic leadership, more and more members began to leave the party. Furthermore he violated the STATUTES at various points; he deprived the members’ right to be heard; applications for the agenda of the AGM were refused; he also violated the electoral programme very strongly. By voting at the plenum against the reduction of the Councillors’ and assistants salary, he voted against the CLARO electoral programme, which states a reduction of 30%. In my view, it was appalling behaviour by Bob not to act as a democrat but to put himself into a better position.

CLARO’s president and Councillor at Orihuela/Playa Flamenca town hall was not just damaging his own reputation but also CLARO’s with his absolute ignorance of rules and regulations. His outward appearance is going downhill as well as his internal position as president. Bob complained very strongly that Monica Lorente broke her promises when she was Mayoress. Now, he has jumped into the same boat and broken his promises and regulations as stated in CLARO’s 2011 manifesto. The time is ripe now for actions against Bob and for the turbulences during the recent plenary meeting. Six months ago, when I cancelled my membership after five years, I told Bob Houliston that CLARO would have no chance of surviving with his leadership as a one-man show. HEIKO SCHMIDT

PEDRO AND THE LIFEGUARDS

ONCE again Pedro Mancebo, Councillor for Tourism and Beaches, shows his remarkable capacity to invent the truth.

This is illustrated in his recent comments on the Easter holiday the year. In that meeting I arrangement for lifeguard encouraged him to offer Red and first-aid services on Cross services for the beachOrihuela Costa beaches. es both at Easter and in the I regret the fact that these summer of 2012. services were not assured I also urged him to widen this Easter by the Red Cross, the recruitment of their perthe traditional providers, who sonnel to include young peoare not only serious and ple from Orihuela Costa. experienced providers locally With our own Sports Centre but an international, non- and swimming pool open the profit making institution with whole year, I said it would be a huge reputation and almost easy to provide training for certainly known to all the dif- young people in Orihuela ferent nationalities using Costa. Orihuela Costa beaches. Finally, I said that I looked This inspires confidence forward to the Red Cross and, as the councillor forming a local Orihuela responsible should know, this Costa branch and in this should promote tourism. regard said there should be As Councillor for the accommodation for Red Coast, I had frequent meet- Cross representatives in the ings with representatives of Emergency Services Centre the Red Cross and in particu- once the building is completlar a meeting with the local ed. President at the beginning of So much for Pedro

Mancebo’s assertions that I had not been active in preparing for beach safety services. At my meeting with Red Cross representatives, they raised the question of unpaid bills for services previously rendered. I informed the Mayor and, at the time, he said he also favoured the continuation of the provision of safety services by the Red Cross and was aware of the unpaid bills issue. It is incomprehensible that a bill, apparently for some €300,000, has not been paid by the Town Hall. Contrary to what Pedro Mancebo says, this bill is presumably for services rendered during the summer of 2011 and the new government contracted these services with the Red Cross, not a previous Popular Party government. It is difficult to believe that delays in payment to the Red Cross were not deliberate and that this opened the way for contracting the services to

private providers from Pilar de la Horadada. Finally, without access to the details, I must say that I was unimpressed by the appearance of the service this Easter. The image was

IN your ‘Eat, Already’ Jewish cooking feature (Issue 60), the Helzel for the Tzimmes, you wouldn’t use lard which is generally pig fat. It is not permitted in Jewish cookery - beef or most likely chicken fat would be appropriate. You never said what Helzel is....is it a chicken neck? Finally, can you get brisket here and, if so, what is it

called in Spanish? I enjoyed reading the recipes but would appreciate an answer. LAURIE MIRIAM WINSTANLEY Any ingredient containing pig fat would definitely not be kosher. We believe Helzel is, as you guessed, a chicken neck - and brisket in Spanish is...brisket. -ED

Jackie and Alan - a closing tribute HAVING read the letter in last Friday´s edition of The Courier from Alan and Jackie James, we would like to pay tribute to them and the Committee of the AECC for Torrevieja and the surrounding area. We have known Alan and Jackie for longer than they have been associated with the AECC. They have worked tirelessly for the needs of others, raising cash for the cancer screening programmes for men and women as well as visiting and helping persons with these terrible diseases at all hours of the day and night. They have helped in translation when needed for persons being examined by a doctor and have liaised between patients and the hospitals. By early screening, they have enabled a good many persons to have treatment before it has become too late. Thank you, all of you. With the closing of AECC in Torrevieja, you will be sorely missed and so will the service you have provided. Best wishes, CHRIS AND MERYL POOLE (Orihuela Neighbourhood Watch)

A lesson in Courier availability Collision course: Bob Houliston and Pedro Mancebo

A pig mistake! l

certainly below that of the Red Cross and was symbolised for me by the pick-up truck parked in the place reserved for ambulances at La Zenia beach and presumably purporting to be an ambulance. Given the dissatisfaction expressed at the absence of the Red Cross on the Orihuela Costa beaches this Easter and the resentment that rare employment possibilities went to those outside Orihuela and Orihuela Costa, the government should rapidly pay the outstanding bills for the Red Cross and ensure that they are responsible for this summer’s beach safety services. BOB HOULISTON

FRIDAY the 13th! So far the day has gone well, but on arriving at my local 'Johnsons' to collect today's Courier, I was told that there are no more copies left. They went like hot cakes! Is it possible, Jeanette, to get your lesson by email? How will I get by without your Spanish lesson and the answers to last week's homework? JOYCE JEANETTE REPLIES: Hi Joyce, So sorry you couldn´t get your copy of The Courier, I´ll be in touch via e-mail with this week’s lesson just for you. Keep enjoying Spanish and don´t forget you can see my lessons online at www.thecourier.es Kind regards.

Friday, April 20, 2012

THE AIRPORT A Familiar Tale By YVONNE GARNHAM

FAIRY Godmother and Handy Husband their obligatory 40-minute queue to board. go to ‘the airport’ three or four times a They noticed a queue of hand-luggage bags year when they are visiting friends and lined up in front of the boarding desk and that there were people sitting around nearby family in the UK. They usually fly with so-called budget air- chatting and enjoying themselves. Fairy Godmother and Handy Husband lines, though how they got that name one wonders when it costs ‘an arm and a leg’ didn’t know what to do but, having been conditioned by announcements telling them to with all the additional costs added on. So they pack their suitcase (or cases if not leave their luggage, they stood at the they are feeling well off) and weigh them at end of the line of bags feeling very foolish. least one or two kilos less than they should As soon as the boarding desk opened, all be because airport scales never seem to be the people who were sitting down took their place in the queue with their respective bags accurate, do they? They ensure their hand luggage fits the - now that makes sense but we cannot see size and weight restrictions of the airline, it ever happening in the UK. Fairy Godmother and Handy Husband contains no dangerous substances and liquids are placed in containers under 100ml often think back to the good old days when they used to take holidays and displayed in a clear abroad and were greeted on resealable plastic bag and the aeroplane with a newspathey are ready for ‘the per, served drinks that didn’t Airport’. break the bank and the anticFurnished with their ipation of what the cooked passports and boarding food tray contained when the slips that they have had to trolley was heading their way. print off themselves when Ripping off the cellophane they checked in on line, quickly so as not to get saving the airline even burned and the joy if it was more money because they cottage pie or chicken. have had to pay for this Nowadays they usually pick privilege too; they queue in up a Subway roll or a sandthe bag-drop line, which is Yvonne Garnham wich in M&S = but it`s not the supposed to be quicker but often isn’t, and hold their breath while their same. Once, Fairy Godmother decided to use up luggage is weighed. Then they scuttle off to Security, where they are stripped almost some eggs so she made sandwiches for the plane. Halfway there, she opened up the naked to go through the scanner. Next it’s the race to the departure gate, sandwich bag and everyone around began where they stand in a queue for at least half looking in her direction, sniffing the air as if an hour and sometimes if they are lucky a stink bomb had gone off. The holidaymakers who travel to Spain they even change the boarding gate and have to high-tail it to another part of the air- with their families these days must spend port. This can be very useful if they are at half their spending money during the flight to the end of the queue because they can get get here. Going to the toilet on the plane is to the new gate much quicker than the other fun, too, shimmying sideways to queue for the miniscule toilet cupboard on board! passengers. Then we get to ‘The Airport’ of our destiFairy Godmother and Handy Husband have travelled several times by air within nation and wait for our luggage to appear on Spain and Spanish passengers really know the conveyor belt. This does not always how to enjoy travel. As soon as the seat belt happen; once Fairy Godmother’s suitcase signs go off, they stand around chatting as if got sent to Dusseldorf instead of Luton. It in a bar or at a football match and when the was delivered to her three days later by a plane lands they clap loudly, showing their poe-faced delivery man whose face didn’t crack an inch when she said ‘Thank God, I appreciation to `El Capitan’ and his crew. Once, on a return trip from Palma to can change my knickers now.’ Some people just don’t have any sense of Alicante, Fairy Godmother and Handy Husband arrived at the departure lounge for humour.

Friday, April 20, 2012

EAT, ALREADY! MOST people I know in the UK, Jewish and non-Jewish alike, love the kosher delicatessens, writes BEVERLEY BALLESTEROS. Whether you have visited or not, the next of Bella's recipes, as with all homemade fayre, can't compare. They are at least 150 years old and have never changed. DELICIOUS. Some you'll recognise, some you won't. Try them regardless, you'll love them! FISHBALLS

METHOD

(chopped and fried fish)

Mince or finely chop fish Grate or mince onions Mix with egg and breadcrumbs or matzo meal, salt, pepper and sugar shape with wet hands If mixture is too sticky or sloppy add more breadcrumbs/ matzo meal Fry on a medium heat for about 5-10 mins on each side until golden-dark brown. These can be eaten hot, but are much tastier left to cool, and they freeze very well.

5lb cod or hake. (my mum tried it with panga and they were as good but less fishy) 7 heaped tablespoons of matzo meal or breadcrumbs 1 and a half flat teaspoons of salt. 2-3 large onions 1 Â˝ eggs 13 shakes of white pepper. 5 heaped teaspoons of sugar

good) one very large onion or 2 medium 15 shakes of white pepper to each pound of meat salt to taste 8 heaped soupspoons of matzomeal/ breadcrumbs.

METHOD Mix all ingredients together. Fry in burger shapes until cooked. Perfect here for barbecue days. Add egg . Then add meal flour and seasoning until you can spoon the mixture into a frying pan without it running everywhere Fry until golden.

SALMON OR TUNA CUTLETS

BELLA'S HOMEMADE MINCEBEEF BURGERS 3lb of steak with fat on (the butchers here in Spain will usually mince the meat you choose, also Lidl minced beef if almost as

POTATO LATKES (rosti/hash brown but 1,000 times nicer) 4 potatoes 1 large onion 1-2 eggs Matzo meal/breadcrumbs and a little flour to help bind the mixture. Salt and pepper to taste

METHOD Grate the potatoes and onion

2 small tins of salmon or tuna 1 large onion 1 egg 8-10 tablespoons of matzomeal/breadcrumbs 3 shakes of pepper. Salt not really needed as the tinned fish already contains enough.

Friday, April 20, 2012

METHOD If using tinned salmon clean the fish. Finely chop the onion Add beaten egg Add matzomeal/breadcrumbs until texture feels right to mould into fishcake shapes and fry until golden, approx. 5 mins. on each side.

CHOPPED LIVER (course liver pate)

Add the hardboiled eggs and place all into a food processor and pulse for about 30 seconds until you have a rough pate texture. Taste and add more seasoning if needed. Chill for 2 hours. Delicious served as a starter with crackers or simply on a sandwich.

CHOPPED HERRING (Like marmite, you'll absolutely love it or hate it, but you should try it)

1 and a half pounds of chicken livers (always sold in small tubs in Mercadona with the prepacked fresh chicken) 1 quarter cup of veg oil 1 large onion 5 hardboiled eggs Salt and pepper to taste

6oz marinated herring fillets or rollmops (Lidl's jars of rollmops are made for this dish) 1-2 apples, cored, peeled and diced 1 slice of rye bread (plain spongecake or plain biscuits make a lovely alternative) 2 hard boiled eggs. 1 tablespoon of sugar or sweetener

METHOD METHOD Pour oil into a pan and heat over medium flame. Put in the chicken livers and fry for 3 minutes on each side. The liver should be firm and browned on the outside and slightly pink inside. Season livers generously with salt and pepper whilst cooling. Fry the onions in the pan with the oil used for liver, until golden and soft.

Mince apple Place herrings and the remaining pickled onion from the jar into processor. Moisten bread, cake or biscuits and squeeze out excess and add to ingredients pulse until coarsely chopped (about 8 seconds) Add egg and sugar and pulse again for about 8 seconds more. Refrigerate until chilled. will keep for about 10 days.

TALENTED? ADD SOME DIAMANTE’S SPARKLE!

WHAT a FANTASTIC launch to THE TALENT SEARCH 2012! Diamante's Restaurant’s search for the stars of the future got off to a fantastic start with seven talented performers turning up to audition. First on stage was an amazing fiveyear-old, Daniella Savidge, dancing to a Jessie J song. The fact that she made up all the moves herself emphasises what a bright future this child has. The clutch of singers who followed were all very good, making things difficult for guest judges Neil, who has his own record label, the show’s compere Suzy G, and Jodie Stirling, a finalist in the first competition. There was only one point difference between the first three on the judges’ scorecard - so instead of sending two of them

through to the semi-finals, all three got the nod. One of the finalists, Emily Hullman, contacted Terri from Diamante's and said she was pulling out of the competition because she was already working semi-professionally and did not think it fair to deprive other contestants of the chance to be in the final. Emily’s withdrawal freed up a place for 10-year old Gracie Kemp from Leicester, who joins her sister (also called Emily) as well as Evan Maddison, in the final. If you have talent, be it Magic, Comedy, Dancing or Singing, go along to the Restaurant on a Wednesday night and audition. Call to book on 965352947.

Celebrate... cauliflower Not only is it available all year round, it really does come in all these colours (we didn't believe it either so we've done a bit of research for you!) Cauliflower can be found at any time of the year, which doesn't make it particularly special but don't let familiarity breed contempt. This reliable Brassica (along with broccoli and cabbages) is very high in certain phytotchemicals, which have been clinically proven to lower the risk of certain cancers, plus it has an extremely high nutritional density, with oodles of vitamin C and dietary fibre. It comes in a variety of different colours and textures too. For sceptics, the cauliflowers in this picture have not been dyed; they're known, imaginatively, as 'purple', 'yellow', 'orange' and 'green' cauliflowers: Purple: the colour is caused by anthocyanins, the same antioxidant found in red wine. If you overcook it, it turns green, so set the colour by dousing it in lemon juice.

Orange: sweeter than other types, and with more vitamins, including beta-carotene. Apparently, it tastes a bit like corn on the cob (if you can verify this, please leave a comment).

Yellow: milder than the white variety, but looks striking regardless.

Green: has the texture of broccoli, hence its other name of 'broccoflower'. And how can we forget the limegreen Romanesco, with its pointy florets like Christmas trees from a surreal painting. It's a great one to feed the kids – because it looks so interesting, it will distract fussy eaters from the fact that it's a vegetable. Of the Brassicas family, cauliflower is often regarded as the most challenging to grow. Brussels sprouts and cabbage can withstand the deep frosts that can harden the soil in the depths of winter, and their flavour can be bitter. But the cauliflower is worth that extra time and effort for the producer, with its delicate taste and attractive floral appearance. And to the diner, cauliflower is pleasingly versatile – boil it, roast it, steam it, stir-fry it, or eat it raw.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Join us on Monday 23rd of April with the Tourism and Beaches Department of the Orihuela Town Hall for the St Georges celebrations. This will be held at Playa Flamenca promenade, just near the Orihuela Costa Post Office. It all starts at 11am with music from TKO and live acts from Morris Dancers, The Cliff Richard tribute, The Dusty Springfield show and the Pearly King & Queen. Tune in to Keith Nicol this Sunday, 22nd April, as he has a very special guest with him. Ricky Valance will be in the studio for an interview and update on the new BBC Wales documentary, that he has just finished shooting. Ricky Valance was born on 10th April 1939. He is a Welsh singer best known for the number one single, "Tell Laura I Love Her", which sold over a million copies in 1960, making him the first Welshman to reach the top spot - Shirley Bassey being the first Welsh Woman. He also released several more singles, including "Movin' Away", "Jimmy's Girl" and "Six Boys". 100,000 copies sold of "Jimmy´s Girl", and "Moving Away" made it to number one in Australia and Scandinavia, with 150,000 copies sold. Ricky now lives on the Costa Blanca, where he still performs on a regular basis. Don’t forget to tune in to the Sunday Gold show at 1.00pm.

TKO’s Fun Facts from April 1970 The UK Top 5 Singles from April 1970

1. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel 2. Can't Help Falling In Love With You - Andy Williams 3. Knock Knock Who's There - Mary Hopkins 4. All Kinds Of Everything - Dana 5. Young Gifted And Black - Bob & Marcia Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water is the fifth and final studio album by Simon & Garfunkel. Released on January 26, 1970 on both Quadraphonic and Stereo formats, it reached No.1 on Billboard Music Charts pop albums list. It won a Grammy Award for Album of the Year, as well as for Best Engineered Recording, while its title track won the Grammy Award for Record of the Year and Song of the Year in the Grammy Awards of 1971. It has since sold over 25 million copies worldwide. On this day, April 20th, in 1970 - The New York Times reported that Catholic and Protestant youth groups had adopted the Yellow Submarine as a religious symbol.

Find out next week what happend in 1971

Tune in all next week to hear our world famous TKO FM Power Play & TKO Gold Future Gold Track TKO FM - WEEKLY POWER PLAY Lukas Graham - Drunk In The Morning Led by 23-year-old Danish-Irish singer Luke Graham, this soulful and funky sounding group quickly spread in the Copenhagen underground and through online postings. Attracting interest in the record industry, they were signed and released the 'Lukas Graham' LP.

TKO GOLD - FUTURE GOLD TRACK Scotty McCreery - Water Tower Town Scott Cooke "Scotty" McCreery is an American singer from Garner, North Carolina. He won the tenth season of American Idol on May 25, 2011. His debut studio album, Clear as Day has been certified platinum in the United States.

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips POP QUIZ April 21st Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm. 1. In Febuary 1959 in Fargo who took the place of Buddy Holly immediately after his death. 2. Behind A Painted Smile was a 1969 UK hit for this Motown act. 3. This rock group was formed from the remnants of the New Yardbirds. 4. Type of train the Doobie Brothers rode on. 5. Freddie & The Dreamers 3rd UK hit. 6. What kind of kissing was naughty Debbie Harry up to in 1986. 7. Concrete & Clay was a hit for this mathematical group. 8. Gilbert O"Sullivans real first name. 9. The 2 Cockers (Joe & Jarvis) came from the same county.

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Benefits of Pilates

One of the main benefits of Pilates is that it refreshes your physical and mental wellbeing. Pilates is a series of controlled movements that unite the body and mind and creates a direct connection to the muscles. Pilates helps condition your body without punishing it. It is designed to stretch and strengthen muscle without adding bulk. The Pilates abdominal exercises require mental concentration along with coordinated breathing beginning in the body's core (abdomen, back and buttocks) to build a balanced strength and agility in your body. Joseph Pilates, a legendary physical trainer, developed this exercise system in the 1920's. Pilates routines can benefit men and women of any age no matter what physical condition you are in. It was designed for people who recognize the importance of providing a firm support system for the spine. Pilates movement places its focus on the body's core. It works the deep muscles in the body, creating a strong centre. Pilates is more precise movements rather than a lot of repetitions of an exercise. It adds heightened body awareness and control because the mind engages the body during movement. Controlled breathing accompanies that movement. One of the exciting aspects of Pilates is

that almost anyone can do it. There is no bouncing, jarring or stress to your body, and it can be done almost anywhere at any time. Some of the Pilate routines take less than 10 minutes and are ideal for people who say they don't have enough time to exercise. Who can't squeeze in 10 minutes out of your day to improve your health and wellbeing? Some of the basic principles of the Pilates philosophy include concentration and control. The emphasis is on the quality of the movement and not the number of repetitions. Pilates movement also includes centring and breathing which focuses attention to the body's core and breathing properly to oxygenate the entire body and cleanse it of impurities. Pilates teaches balance and control of the body and mind, strengthens bone density while improving muscle strength, flexibility and posture. With Pilates you can even train the mind to relax and control stress. You create the ability to maintain proper posture, increase joint range of motion, acquire a flat lean stomach, improve circulation, and have more stamina and better coordination. The Pilate movements start, stay and end in the core. The benefits of Pilates are both emotional and physical. Pilate routines help you achieve inner awareness and calm along with a sense of mastering the mind and body.

TOXINS AND DETOXIFICATION: MYCOTOXINS A paradox of our time is that in spite of advancing health care technology more people suffer from chronic diseases than ever before. In recent times, scientists have implicated several factors for being responsible for the trend, the most important being the presence of toxins in our environment. Perhaps this is surprising news to the scientists, but certainly not to consciously aware people. That our world is polluted is a fact that can no longer be denied by anyone. In fact worldwide, over 30 million different chemical substances are legally used in the manufacture of every conceivable item, from household goods, textiles, cosmetics, medications, food produce, and every year thousands more are added to the ever growing list. In today’s world, there really is no escape from chemical substances. Even when a commodity is seemingly uncontaminated from natural sources such as fruits and vegetables, it is still laden with chemicals from herbicides, pesticides and preservatives. Furthermore, convenience technology allows us to spend time in enclosed spaces under controlled ventilation. From our cars, homes, offices and shopping malls, we are constantly inhaling air filtered from contaminated air conditioning and ventilation systems, and by doing so, we not only expose ourselves to toxic particles constantly leaking out from synthetic products that surround us, but also from the toxins of living microorganisms that thrive in enclosed spaces and ventilation systems. These toxins are now known to affect every system in the human body causing very serious diseases. While performing health checks on patients, I very often come across scan analysis results that show no problems with the organs while indicating problems with several body systems, and in such cases high levels of toxins

It All Began with One Sickly Child A look into the history of Pilates helps you understand the tremendous power that this form of exercise has to help strengthen and transform your body. Unlike yoga, which has a tradition that goes back thousands of years, one individual developed the Pilates method at the beginning of the twentieth century. In 1880 in Dusseldorf, Germany, a sickly baby named Joseph Pilates was born. As a young child he watched as his friends ran, jumped and played games — activities that he could not do because of his frail, weak body. That is when the Pilates method really began. Pilates was determined to find a way to improve his health and physical strength and stamina. He set off on a lifelong quest for fitness and exercise. Pilates not only overcame his physical frailties — he mastered them. He became an accomplished yogi, boxer, gymnast, and skier. During World War I, Pilates was interned in England where he worked as a nurse with injured war victims. Pilates was convinced that exercise could help rehabilitate their badly damaged bodies. Many of these patients were not able to move, but that did nothing to deter Pilates’ determination to help them gain strength and mobility. He rigged up their hospital beds with straps and springs and created a series of exercises to help move their joints through a greater range of motion. The exercises also helped his patients develop muscle strength, flexibility and endurance. Eventually, many of these people were able to get up and move around by themselves. In 1923, Joseph Pilates and his wife moved to New York City where they opened up a studio and began working to rehabilitate injured dancers. Some of the most famous dancers that they worked with were George Balanchine and Martha Graham. Word of the dramatic results that came from using the Pilates method spread, and soon it became the exercise of choice for not only dancers, but also entertainment stars and professional athletes. For a long time,

this unique form of exercise was limited to this elite community. That has all changed. Now millions of people are familiar with the Pilates method of exercise. They have discovered for themselves that Pilates can help them gain the strength, flexibility, and balance of a professional dancer, without having to spend hours at the gym. They spend less time to achieve better results. No wonder it has become one of the hottest fitness trends to come along in years. Now that you know the background of Pilates and why it was developed, you can realize how this powerful form of exercise can help you gain strength, flexibility, endurance, and the body that you’ve always wanted.

especially mycotoxins are nearly always present in the body. In the next series of articles, I will be exploring toxins and what we can all do to protect ourselves. It is true that most toxins are chemical substances artificially manufactured; however toxins are also found in nature, and can be made by living organisms such as mould commonly found on stale bread. Moulds are microscopic organisms or fungi that grow in damp environments and reproduce by releasing tiny spores into the air. They are mostly harmless, however a few of them pose a serious threat to human health, and do so by releasing very dangerous spores known as mycotoxins . Mycotoxins are deadly because they attach themselves to the body’s myelin sheath which is an important covering for nerves. This leads to a gradual destruction of all the organs of the body. Initially, an infected person presents with generalised symptoms such as cough, headaches, painful rashes, fever, hearing and sight problems. These symptoms may continue for a few years before progressing into more serious health complications such as organ failures. Commonly found mycotoxins in the body are: Aflatoxins, Ocratoxins, Patulin and Fusarium. These toxins are known to cause cancer and chronic diseases, and are found mostly in mouldy food produce. Mycotoxins can be treated by detoxification or with bio resonance therapy; however most clinics and hospitals lack the proper equipment to detect them and are only able to offer very basic health checks to patients. Prevention is always the best cure, and you can start by reducing the level of humidity in your home because moulds need moisture and oxygen to survive. If you have any questions, or to find out more about testing your cosmetics, contact Dr Mannu on 630118439, or email contact@medb.es, www.medb.es

Friday, April 20, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Bob was having problems sending email from ADVICE: Jane wanted to know whether she could safely either of his two email systems. use her laptop out and about. Hi Richard, I am having great problems, along with many friends locally in sending e-mails to our friends with Hotmail accounts despite using both our e-mail accounts gmail.com and orangecorreo.es. Every time the following message appears. "Unfortunately, messages from 62.xx.20.xxx weren't sent. Please contact your Internet service provider since part of their network is on our block list". You can also refer your provider to http://mail.live.com/mail/troubleshooting.aspx#errors. and quote 550 SC-001. Is there any way around this problem? Regards Bob

Hi Bob, as you will have seen from the link that was sent to you, your messages are being rejected by Hotmail for the following reason… “Mail rejected by Hotmail for policy reasons. Reasons for rejection may be related to content with spam-like characteristics or IP/domain reputation. If you are not an email/network admin please contact your Email/Internet Service Provider for help.” …when you combine this information with the IP address given, 62.xx.20.xxx it suggests that Hotmail are rejecting all email from that address, this makes sense given that you can neither send email from Gmail or Orange. I’ve done a bit of digging and I’m afraid that the person with this IP address is registered as sending spam email and is black listed on at least 4 spam lists that I was able to find. So I’m afraid that your email is being rejected because you are registered as a spammer – I realise that this may come as a bit of a shock and I am sure that you are not intentionally sending spam emails, however if your computer has been compromised by malware or a virus then it’s possible that its sending it out without your knowledge. My advice would be to contact a qualified computer engineer as soon as possible to investigate and resolve the situation for you.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q A

Hi Richard, Is it safe to use my laptop at an internet café or at a free Wi-Fi spot?

Hi Jane, well it’s one of those “yes” and “no” answers that we experience so many times with computers. Back in 2009 I wrote an article about the dangers of shared Internet connections; you can read the full article here http://www.bluemoonsolutions.es/shared-internet but in short as long as you are sensible and careful, have your antivirus up to date and your Windows firewall turned on then you are as safe as you can be. The fact of the matter is that if you are using someone else’s Internet connection (bar, café etc.) then it’s possible for someone else to intercept what you are doing and collect information that you are sending / receiving, however it’s also fair to say that its quite unlikely that it will be happening because the skills involved in doing that type of hacking are quite specialist. I guess the best advice would be to not use your credit card in these situations and limit your time to just browsing the Internet, try not to use any sites that require you to enter sensitive information like your email password etc.

ADVICE: Morag was having problems with small text on her Internet Explorer Please can you help. In the middle of sending an e-mail, everything suddenly got smaller, so small in fact I could hardly read the text. I tried enlarging the text size but that made no difference. What have I done? Morag

Q A

Hi Morag, it sounds like you have the zoom set to a really small setting within Internet Explorer, you should be able to set it back to by either clicking, from within Internet Explorer, on Tools, Zoom and selecting 100% or by pressing CTRL + 0 on the keyboard which does the same thing.

Friday, April 20, 2012

THE SPANISH PRESS

ABDICATE CALLS FOR ELEPHANTINE ERROR THE Spanish King is under extreme fire following a controversial elephant-hunting trip to Botswana - with some critics even calling for his abdication. The extravagant trip – estimated to have cost twice the average yearly salary – has provoked a public outcry at a time when the country is in the midst of a severe economic crisis. Some left-wing politicians are calling on King Juan Carlos to give up his throne after proving himself so out of touch with the Spanish people. "The head of state must choose between his obligations and the duty of service of his public responsibilities, or an abdication that would allow him to enjoy a different kind of life," Tomas Gomez, the leader of the Madrid branch of the opposition socialist party, said on Sunday. Spain’s minority United Left (IU) party went even further, calling for a referendum on whether Spain should again be a republic. “It shows a complete lack of ethics and respect toward the people of Spain who are suffering a lot,” said Cayo Lara Moya, spokesman of the IU. The King’s actions seem to belie his recent claim that he was so concerned about the problems faced by the average Spaniard that he couldn’t sleep at night. The hunting jaunt only became public knowledge because the 74-year-old monarch fell and broke his hip. He is now recovering in hospital after having a hip replacement, but there has been little sympathy for his condition. While most of the condemnation has been aimed at the cost of the trip, animal lovers have also been angered by the King’s actions. Incredibly the Monarch went elephant shooting despite being honorary president of the Spanish branch of the World Wildlife Fund (WWF). The fund said in a Twitter message that “it will make comments to the royal palace and reiterate its commitment to the conservation of elephants”. A petition on the online forum Actuable quickly registered more than 40,000 signatures calling for the King to resign his presidency of the WWF.

Bungle in the jungle: King may have shot himself in foot

THE Spanish government approved a number of measures on Friday to crack down on tax dodgers. The measures were included in a draft law on tax fraud approved by the Cabinet, which the government hopes will bring in 8.171 billion euros this year. Deputy Prime Minister Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría said that there are cases pending seeking the payment of six billion euros in unpaid taxes. The bill also removes the statute of limitations in cases of undeclared income. The legislation also includes limiting cash payments in commercial transaction to 2,500 euros, with the exception of visiting tourists, where the limit will be 15,000 euros. Individuals and companies will also face sanctions, beginning next year, for failing to declare all assets held overseas. There will be an amnesty for those declaring blackmarket money.

Titanic centenary is a time to remember Spanish dead THE centenary of the sinking of the Titanic has been in the news all month, but few programmes have mentioned the ten Spaniards aboard the ill-fated liner. When she steamed out of Southampton on her fateful journey on April 12, 1912 there were nine passengers and a crew member from Spain. Three of them died, including the wealthiest Víctor

Fine old time for traffic chiefs to issue The DGT traffic authority expects and colyear this fines in s euro on 3.8 milli being ets budg ite desp s lect 409 million euro cut by 7.54%. the year The department expects to end says and s euro on milli with a surplus of 136 e, and onlin paid be will fines the of 20% that 25% by telephone. a Seguí, Director General of the DGT, Marí

Tax dodgers to face new crackdown

g to face admitted her department was goin ugh she ‘a notable budgetary reduction’ altho ty. safe t affec not ld wou it said drivers It’s expected licences from 35,000 . There are will be withdrawn for unpaid fines bringing to be 30 more traffic speed radars, which to d adde rs, rada the total to 400 fixed cent fewer are the 492 mobile units. Five per road fatalities are expected.

El Pais Peñasco y Castellana. Castellana was travelling with his wife, María Josefa, and her maid, Fermina Oliva y Ocana. Víctor was a nephew to King Alfonso XIII’s prime minister, José Canalejas, and his family’s wealth was matched by precious few others in the realm; María Josefa’s was one of them. On the evening of April 15, when a loud noise resonated throughout the ship, from bow to stern, Víctor went up on deck to discover the ship had hit an iceberg. He quickly saw Fermina and María Josefa to a lifeboat, but he remained onboard. His body was never recovered, or if it was it was one of 150 unidentified. His death certificate states he is buried at Fairview Cemetery in Halifax, Nova Scotia, possibly orchestrated to allow María Josefa to remarry, which she did six

years later. She died in Madrid in 1972 aged 83. Fermina, who was from Cuenca, died in 1969 aged 98. Also listed as buried in Nova Scotia, after his body was recovered by the steamer Mackay-Bennett, was first-class passenger Servando Oviés. Jean Monros, a waiter on the ship, also lost his life. Thought to be 19 or 20 years old, Monros was buried at sea after being dragged out of the water by the Mackay-Bennett.

Friday, April 20, 2012

WHAT THE UK

MISSING MADDIE ‘SIGHTED’ IN SPAIN POLICE in a fresh Madeleine years after

Spain are investigating sighting of missing McCann - almost five she disappeared.

The Sun

police in Portugal pledged to look into the case again with British detectives. Officers in Portugal received a tip-off 10 Madeleine was just days short of her days ago regarding a little girl with “strong fourth birthday when she vanished from physical resemblance” to Maddy spotted in Praia da Luz on May 3, 2007 as her Nerja, near Malaga, southern Spain. parents ate in a tapas bar nearby with Local newspaper Diario Sur reports that friends. The couple were made susofficers in the Specialist and Violent Crime pects but later cleared of any involveUnit (UDEV) have begun investigating the ment in the youngster’s disappearance. Maddy’s parents Kate and Gerry have possible sighting which comes a month after suffered almost five years of heartache since their Daily Mail daughter vanished – and frustration as the police inquiry ground to a halt. They said they were “pleased” and “grateful” with news last month of the new A FOUR-YEAR-OLD girl who died after being crushed investigation. It is the first by her mother’s reversing car had been playing hide time Portuguese authorities and seek when she was run over. have looked at the case since Olivia Hicks’ mother thought the little girl had run shelving their much-criticised into her grandmother’s house when she reversed original probe in 2008. down the driveway. Crucially, the new team, However, the youngster had actually been hiding from Porto have never and was accidentally run over by her mother’s car. worked on the Madeleine She was trapped under hunt before. They have been the Ford Focus for almost instructed to go over the an hour before she was thousands of pages of case freed by fire fighters. files. She was anaesthetised The team will work with at the scene by para- more than 30 Scotland Yard medics and, despite detectives conducting their being airlifted to hospital, own cold case investigation. died five days later from brain damage. The tragedy happened outside the home of PR GURU Max Clifford last Olivia’s grandmother Catherine, in Coppice Mead, night warned his top client Biggleswade, Bedfordshire, on February 20 last year. Simon Cowell that six former Kelly Quigley-Hicks, had been dropping off her daughter before work when she reversed down the lovers were poised to reveal driveway of the semi-detached home, an inquest in his sex secrets. The publicist, 69, said the Bedford was told. Olivia was crushed when she became caught music mogul’s decision to open up about his personal between the car and the sloping driveway. The cause of death was “catastrophic, irreversible life in a book had backfired spectacularly. brain injury”. He revealed ex-girlfriends

Hide-and-seek game killed tragic Olivia, 4

Norway killer ‘I’d do it all again’ Daily Express

Hate preacher WILL be thrown out of UK

ABU Qatada was dramatically arrested on Tuesday afternoon — and told he WILL be deported back to Jordan. The 51-year-old terror suspect was seized at his London home by officers from the UK Border Agency. On Tuesday evening he was denied bail by a judge at the Special Immigration Appeals Commission court and returned to jail. The smirking fanatic — once described by a judge as Osama bin Laden’s right-hand man in Europe — was told that the Home Office will now take steps to deport him on or around April 30. A Home Office spokesman said: “UK Border Agency officers have today arrested Abu Qatada and told him that we intend to resume deportation proceedings against him.”

‘Open season’ for Cowell’s lovers Daily Star who had previously stayed silent about their flings were now lining up to speak out. “It’s open season,” said Mr Clifford. “Yesterday six different girls called my office who supposedly have had relationships with Simon.”

The spin king has represented the Britain’s Got Talent judge for more than a decade. He claimed that during that time he had buried 100plus embarrassing stories about the star. But he said he was now expecting these tales to come spilling out.

TWISTED killer Anders Breivik bragged yesterday that he would “do it all again” as he took the stand in court for the massacre of 77 people in Norway. The race-hate fanatic spoke of his pride in carrying out the most “sophisticated and spectacular political attack” on Europe since the Second World War. After making a Rightwing, clenched-fist salute, he said he acted out of “goodness, not evil”. Then he boasted: “I would have done it all again.” The deluded 33-yearold said his victims – many of them teenagers at a summer camp – were “not innocents”, likening them to youngsters at indoctrination camps run by the Hitler Youth. In a statement, which took one hour and 20 minutes to read, he said he admired Al Qaeda and compared himself to heroic figures such as Native Americans Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse. The statement was not broadcast on TV to stop him promoting his violent agenda.

Friday, April 20, 2012

TABLOIDS SAY

THIS IS THE END OF OUR F**KING Austrian village residents vote on name change

The Sun FED-UP residents of a picture postcard village called F***ing are voting on whether to change its name. The move came after a growing number of calls by pranksters from abroad who ring up locals and ask “Is that F***ing?” — before bursting into laughter and hanging up. The Austrian village’s street signs are regularly stolen even though they are welded to steel posts set in concrete. Mayor Franz Meindl said: “The phone calls are really the final straw. “I always wanted the name to stay but it’s just got too much now. The only problem is that we need all of the F***ing residents to agree to the name change. Everyone needs to agree for it to happen. “As you can imagine there are heated discussions about the name change.” Drivers heading into the village have often spotted naked tourist couples romping in front of the name signs. Local entrepreneurs made the situation worse by flogging F***ing postcards, F***ing Christmas

cards and even F***ing Beer. Residents voted to keep the name in 1996 despite problems caused by American servicemen from across the border in Germany who drove to the area to be photographed in front of signs. They sent the snaps home to their girlfriends and wives. Around 100 villagers will this week hold a meeting to decide whether to switch the name to either ‘Fuking’ or ‘Fugging’. If the change goes ahead, they will be following in the footsteps of stadium bosses in Switzerland who changed their name because red-faced stars were too embarrassed to play in Wankdorf.

Hero pilot is found in crashed Spitfire - 70 years after dogfight EVER since Sergeant William Smith’s spitfire was shot down over the English Channel during a World War Two dogfight, his family have hoped that one day his body could be found. The brave 21-year-old pilot was presumed to have crashed and died in the middle of the sea after his plane was targeted by an enemy aircraft in 1942. For the next seven decades his relatives held on to the slim hope that a fishing trawler might one day drag up the wreckage so they could bury him. Incredibly, their wish came true after Sgt Smith’s remains were unearthed in his wrecked Spitfire in a French farmer’s field 30 miles inland. It was discovered by a British historian and film crew looking for the wreckage of another downed Spitfire whose pilot had been taken prisoner.

Daily Mail Their research led them to excavate a site near Cassel in northern France. They found parts of a Spitfire 25ft down but were shocked to also discover the skeletal remains of the pilot. He was identified by his dog tag. It is assumed he was knocked unconscious or killed in his cockpit and his plane flew 50 miles out of control before crashing. The hero’s younger brother Bert, 84, led his family at a funeral with full military honours in Cassel. Sgt Smith, from Melbourne, joined the Royal Australian Air Force before going off to war in 1941. He was stationed at Redhill in Surrey with 457 Squadron.

apse ll o c ld u o c o r u e s it IMF adm teetering THE crisis-hit euro is se, the llap co of on the brink Fund y tar ne Mo al on Internati time t firs the acknowledged for on Tuesday. no-conIn a significant vote of global the m fro fidence, a report mitted ad n tio isa an org financial single ean the troubled Europ s at wa d an ” ws “fla currency had lt and fau de rly rde so “di a risk of mber”. exit by a euro area me t a euro tha d rne wa And it

nces of a potential conseque d exit by a an disorderly default unpreare er mb me euro area re mo n ssible po eve t meltdown could be dictable and thus no no eco nario. rld sce wo fic the eci for devastating to map into a sp there dit crunch. d, cre rre 8 cu 200 oc it the n if d tha my It sai rld Wo in re the ssu in pre The admission could be severe the IMF es m mi fro no ok eco tlo ro Ou eu ic led om Econ other troub fears that financial came amid renewed leading to panic in e, eec Gr low fleeing fol on ors so sit po uld Spain co markets and de in acceptcumcir se the er nd “U Portugal and Ireland banks. erint d un po euro n lio the bil of ltiing a mu stances, a break-up t.” ou ut. ed il-o ba rul l be na t tio no na area could d: “The The report warne

Daily Express

Embarrassed Lib Dems don’t want a Clegg to stand on UKIP has ousted the Lib Dems as the third most popular political party, a Sun poll revealed on Wednesday. The anti-EU party led by Nigel Farage (pictured left) has nine per cent support — with Deputy PM Nick Clegg’s lot on just eight. The YouGov poll ahead of May’s local elections puts Labour 11

The Sun points ahead of the Tories. It comes as it emerged Lib Dem councillors have wiped all mention of the party from their leaflets in a desperate bid to cling to seats in North Tyneside. A Westminster insider said: “It’s hugely embarrassing for Clegg that his counci-

llors are ashamed to even call themselves Lib Dems.’’ A Sun poll 24 hours earlier found only seven out of 57 Lib Dems would remain as MPs in a General Election — with leader Mr Clegg and Business Secretary Vince Cable among those booted out. Other top guns getting the boot include Business Secretary Vince

Cable, ex-Energy Secretary Chris Huhne and Treasury Chief Secretary Danny Alexander. Ex-leaders Sir Menzies Campbell and Charles Kennedy would be axed, too. New Energy Secretary Ed Davey is the only Lib Dem Cabinet minister who would survive the chop.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Rocking time helps needy

Lightning sale

Craig and Ria.. the real stars of the day

IT was rocking at Rocky’s on Easter Monday as customers flocked to the family fun day in aid of Reach Out/Extendia la Mano. Rocky’s hardworking staff ensured the day was a great success, with everyone having a fun time and the charity getting some much needed support for its work to ease the plight of the homeless and needy of Torrevieja and surrounding areas. Reach Out was particularly impressed with Craig and Ria, the managers of Rocky’s who were the real ‘stars’ of the day. The pair worked hard to organise and run the event, putting together the entertainment, advertising and fundraisers as well as collecting donated goods. The stall holders also donated a percentage of their takings to Reach Out and the entertainers gave their time for free. TKO hosted the afternoon and Reach Out thanked the DJ for contributing so much to the success of the day. Thanks also went to Rocky’s barman Mick for enduring the pain of leg-waxing, face-painters Jelli-Belli for giving up fifty per cent of their takings and Jayne of Jayne’s Barbershop, Playa Flamenca who tirelessly cut hair all afternoon and donated all the proceeds. The day raised €697.74 for the charity. For more information about the work of Reach Out visit the help centre and charity shop situated at Calle Bella Antonia 1, ring Karolina or Sandra on 688 348 151 or 688 348 189 or check out the website www.reachouttorre.weebly.com Bernard Ash - moving in

HELP CHOOSES A NEW LEADER

BERNARD ASH is the new President of HELP Murcia Mar Menor.

Elaine Dale - moving out

Beach advice from Age Concern AGE Concern will be joining in the St George’s Day celebrations on Playa Flamenca beach on Monday when staff from the Playa Flamenca office will be on hand to offer advice and help. The charity is also busy preparing for its summer fair to be held on May 19. All enrolled friends of Age Concern CBS can get free Spanish lessons - to all levels -

at the Centre La Siesta every Tuesday morning from 10am. Of course, Age Concern can only offer the services it does thanks to its supporters such as Doug, the landlord of the Bar Patricia Torretta III, who recently helped to raise 180 euros with a raffle at the bar, and the many people who support its charity shops in Los Montesinos and Torrevieja.

He was voted in at the recent general meeting and everyone at HELP is sure he will bring many skills to the role - not least his wicked sense of humour. Bernard replaces outgoing president, Elaine Dale, who has done an excellent job over the past four years. She has been equally effective dealing with members of the British Consulate and other important dignitaries as she was working with HELP’s members, volunteers and the public who came to HELP for help. She was undoubtedly a perfect public face for the charity. After working tirelessly for HELP for many years, not just as President but also in many other roles, Elaine is now taking a well-earned rest. The charity hopes to rope her back in for some other role in the future, but until then her patience, good humour and diplomacy will be sorely missed. HELP Murcia Mar Menor’s charity market at La Zona Bar, Los Alcazares continues to be a big success and is well worth a visit. It is held on the second Tuesday of every month. Anyone interested in finding out more about the work of HELP Murcia Mar Menor can attend the organisation’s monthly general meeting which is held on the third Tuesday of the month at Las Claras, Los Narejos, at 11.30am.

STAGESTRUCK’S production of the musical comedy Ancient Grease is well on the way to being a complete sell-out and there are still six weeks to go before opening night. The Saturday night performance is sold out completely and it’s only because of cancellations that there are ten tickets available for the Friday night show. Thursday night sales are increasing rapidly so be quick if you want to see this extraordinary portrayal of Sandy and Danny as senior citizens in a Spanish residential home with a very surprising version of Greased Lightning plus all the well-known songs from Grease. Performances are Thursday 24 May (tickets available), Friday 25 May (only ten tickets left at time of going to press) and Saturday 26 May (sold out). The show is being performed at the School of Music and Culture, Los Montesinos. Tickets cost just five euros, which includes a complimentary glass of wine. To reserve tickets call Stella on 966 786 154 or Sally on 648 783 601. Performances start at 8pm.

SAMM blow THE second race day of the SAMM Spring Series on Sunday April 15 was postponed due to extra strong winds. This race will now be staged on Sunday April 22. If you would like more information on the race or on SAMM visit the website www.sailingmarmenor.com or send an email to sammracing@yahoo.co.uk

Paws and Claws: Can YOU offer these pets a loving home? RAYMEN Miah and Martin Weir came to Guardamar for an Easter break - and went home to Lowestoft with a rescue dog. It cost the partners £400 to transport crossbred Rocky to England from Ashley Lodge Kennels near Elche. But Raymen told The Courier: “It made sense to adopt a Spanish dog because animals don’t seem to be treated well in this country. The English are a nation of dog lovers and we thought it would be a kinder deed to give a home to one from the Costas.’’ Rocky, a replacement for black Labrador Jeff, who died recently, will share Raymen and Martin’s home with their chocolate Lab, Brandy.

K9 Club is seeking homes for these four loving pets. Please call 633 936 501 or email k9clubinfo@gmail.com More details on the K9 website at www.k9club.es

GINNY (right) is a beautiful ginger female cat. Born 18 months ago, she was brought to us along with her four baby boys. The kittens desperately need new homes - as does Ginny.

Buster

Ginny Lewis Bugsy Lunes

BUSTER loves most other dogs, although he not happy with big dogs or cats. Approximately 14 months old, he has been castrated and is lively, playful and very affectionate towards people.

LUNES was seen running along the middle of a busy main road. He came straight to his rescuer with tail wagging. A Pointer cross, Lunes is playful and loves everyone. Born January 2010.

BUGSY (above) is one of four puppies who were found LEWIS, pictured above, came to us with Jensen abandoned in a box. The two girls and two boys are about and we think they may be brothers. Lewis has an allergy for which he has three seven weeks old and ready for adoption. Call Pets in injections per year. Other than that he is perfectly healthy and a Spain on 659 274 573. very loving cat. www.petsinspain.info

Friday, April 20, 2012

Wacky wheels on show THE St James’ Gate car and bike event on April 29 will feature the wild and wacky of the car and bike world. This fun and free event is a great opportunity to view some of the region’s most pampered and rarely seen cars and bikes. Most of the car and bike

clubs in the area will be joining in, making it one of the biggest events of its kind. As well as proud car and bike owners, there will be many experts on hand to answer questions on everything from mechanics to insurance.

The event promises to attract a huge crowd and will be featured on Spanish TV. The fun starts at 11am and continues until 1.30 pm. For more details call event organiser Dave on 603 142 786 or Facebook Costa Blanca classics for sale.

THREE TRUE GENTS

Caballeros of Costa showbiz scene want to help charities and have fun

THREE top Costa Blanca solo entertainers have joined forces to form The Caballeros (The Gentlemen).

True Gentlemen...Dave E Moss and Charles Prince

Charles Prince, Darren Jones and Dave E Moss got together for three main reasons. They want to help raise money for good causes. They want to promote new, young talent. And, they want to have fun putting on shows at which both they and their audiences have a fabulous time. The three are already meeting their goals. So far The Caballeros has helped to raise almost €1500 for PAWS Animal Rescue and dEBra Butterfly Children. They have introduced two new young stars, with more set to follow.

A freewheeling day out for club A GOOD number of Freewheelers members attended the recent 9th annual International Classic Car Show at the IFA in Alicante. Although there seemed to be fewer exhibitors this year than in the past, there was still a good array Vehicles on display ranged from a very modern Rolls Royce to the humble 2CV. Some of the vehicles for sale seemed a tad expensive even with a claimed discount for the duration of the show. A good selection of tools and equipment was of more interest to many Freewheeler members visiting the show, and the odd moth could be seen escaping captivity. After a couple of hours, the Freewheelers travelled back down the N332 and enjoyed an excellent three-

And they and their audiences have had a great time, with all of the shows sell-outs with waiting lists for seats. The shows are based on tributes but with a twist. Even if you are not keen on tribute acts, you will remember these shows for a long time. You can see for yourself what all the fuss is about with two more shows planned in April and May. On Saturday April 28, The Caballeros will appear at Los Rosales Restaurant, Guardamar in aid of PAWS Animal Rescue and Pets in Spain, and on Thursday May 3 at Molly Malone’s, Gran course lunch at La Tabernita in the Alacant in aid of MABS Cancer Support. Urbanisation La Marina. Tickets can be purchased The next Freewheelers event is the Concentration of Classic Cars and Bikes, from the venues, by calling which will be held in conjunction with 680 654 085 or emailing theMarjal Luxury Camping on their site in caballerosspain@gmail.com, or visit the website Catral on May 13. This promises to be a very large event www.thecaballerosspain.info The Caballeros are always with many clubs invited. For further details contact Freewheelers looking for new venues and charities to support. on freewheelers08@yahoo.co.uk

Torrevieja swim siblings make a golden splash TORREVIEJA swimmer Adam Stewart and his sister Lucy both turned in golden performances at the Quays event in Southampton last weekend. The remarkable siblings, who both have Downs Syndrome, picked up FIVE medals between them. Adam took gold in the 50-metres backstroke with a personal best time and also collected two silvers and a bronze. He is now back in the pool and gym working hard for Italy in November. Meanwhile, Lucy struck gold in the 25 metres breaststroke. She normally dances in the Flamenco Para Todas... but decided to challenge her brother this time.

The third Caballero...Darren Jones

Big funds up for race day

A GRAND National Race event was held at the Royal Bar and Grill La Zenia and broadcast live on air by Vibefm. The event, organised by Nadine and her family as a thank you to all the support given by Help At Home Costa Blanca for free to people in need, raised €465. Big Al and his friends wore kilts and raised them to help raise more funds, and great fun was had by everyone. Help said a big thank you to Nadine, her family and friends, and urged everyone to watch out for the next one at Morgan's Bar Eagles Nest in May. Help At Home Costa Blanca is celebrating its first anniversary on April 24 at the Emerald Isle La Florida from 1.30pm, with a fashion show and entertainment from Bootleg Beatles Tribute, Cris Reggae, Torrevieja Scots Pipers and Raquel Pena Sevillana Dancers. For details call Norah on 659 245 552 or email info@helpathomecb.org

Friday, April 20,16, 2012 Friday, December 2011

Bad cars made worse PROTON SATRIA NEO R3 LOTUS RACING

The Yugo 65 owed its technology to the 1970s Fiat 127. Yet it soldiered on into the 1990s, when the Serbian-made hatchback was still the cheapest car sold in the US. In a last-ditch effort to boost sales, Yugo unveiled this convertible version, complete with electrically folding soft-top. Almost nobody bought one. Funny that.

Berlin Wall came down. In 1990, Irmscher turned its attentions to one of the most notoriously terrible cars of the Eastern Bloc: the East German Wartburg. Big spoilers, lowered Bilstein suspension, Recaro seats and matt black mirrors all looked more 'Carlos Fandango' than Golf GTI. Buyers were

DC TATA NANO Inexplicably, the Viewt has been a runaway sales success. It's no secret that Lotus is owned by Proton, and that the Malaysian car maker occasionally lets the Norfolk company loose to sort out the handling of its very ordinary hatchbacks. But now Proton has gone one further and produced a Lotus-badged version of its utterly unremarkable Satria Neo R3. Painted Lotus Racing Green with yellow stripes, it gets all the accoutrements of a naff special edition: alloy wheels, black bonnet and oodles of air vents. The weedy 1.6-litre engine has just 145bhp at its disposal. Luckily, only 25 examples were ever built.

WARTBURG IRMSCHER Car fans know Irmscher best as a German tuner of Opels. That all changed when the

Laudable is a word you might use for the Tata Nano, a car whose sub-£1,800 price tag in its native India is helping to get the

LADA GTI

saved by the bell, however, as in 1991 the whole Wartburg production line was shut down.

Ladas are functional: they're for getting you through Moscow winters and transporting crates of vodka over frozen lakes. They're absolutely not for hooning around corners discovering the limits of performance. But in 2008 Lada decided otherwise when it unveiled the 1119 GTI. Based on one of the

MITSUOKA VIEWT What is it about the Nissan Micra? This unassuming shopping trolley of a car has attracted the attention of more Japanese coachbuilders than any other car. Mitsuoka's Viewt is the most notorious. However, grafting on comical Jaguar Mk2-style front and rear ends and splashing some fake wood about the cabin do not make a classic.

population moving. Now arch-tuner Dilip Chhabria comes along and does this to it. He's swapped the body panels, uprated the brakes, suspension and interior, and fitted a 1.6-litre engine. But get this: he's charging fully £130,000 for it!

PANTHER RIO

world's worst hatchbacks, Lada added a 161bhp turbocharged 1.6-litre engine. But would you have one over a VW Polo GTI? Thought not.

YUGO 65 CABRIOLET

The Panther Rio deserves its place in our list not because the base car was a sow's ear the Triumph Dolomite 'donor' car had plenty of strengths - but because of the price Panther charged for it. In 1975, a Rio cost £9,445, when Jaguar's range-topping XJ12 sold for just £7,496. No amount of Connolly leather, burr walnut or deep-pile carpeting could ever justify that. A motorist runs a red light and is photographed by an automated police camera. In the post a short time later, he receives a photo of his car committing the crime and a fine for £60.

Instead of paying the fine, the motorist mails the police department a photograph of three 20 pound notes. Several days later, he gets a letter back from the police. Inside is a photograph of a pair of handcuffs.

Friday, April 20, 2012

THE CARS MOST DRIVEN The first LFA Nurburgring BY CHEATING HUSBANDS customer in Europe is a Brit

DOING the image of BMW drivers no favours at all is a new survey from “extra-marital” dating site IllicitEncounters.com. Which suggests that cheating husbands are twice as likely to drive a BMW than any other car brand. In fact, it’s even worse than that. Of the 640,000 – yes, 640,000! – UK members of the site, uh, polled, a significant 19.21% of them drive a BMW. That’s very nearly a fifth. The second most popular car brand amongst wandering husbands is apparently Audi, as driven by 8.79%. In third place is Mercedes, preferred by 8.23%. Jaguar

(6.59%) and Land Rover (4.94%) round out the top five. As for cheating wives – they prefer BMWs, too. 11.16% of all female respondents drive this particular brand. Maybe it’s something about the smell of the interior plastics… The survey also shows which brands are favoured least by adulterers. If you’re looking to find a more faithful long-term companion, here’s a heads up: only 0.28% of people on the site drive SEATs or Renaults. MG is favoured by just 0.53%, and Fiat and Chrysler by just 0.55%. Don’t blame us. Or BMW.

According to Illicit Encounters spokesperson Rosie Freeman-Jones: “There is an intrinsic link between success and cheating. Successful people are often risk-takers, and have got to where they are by setting their standards high. However, these people are also less likely to settle for unsatisfying relationships or monotony. “With this in mind, the fact that BMWs are the choice car of our users really doesn’t surprise me. Our membership demographic is typically middle-class, highearning and high-achieving.” So now you know.

A BRITISH customer is the first in Europe to have taken delivery of a Lexus LFA with the Nurburgring Package of track-biased downforce updates that give the highrevving supercar more ontrack performance than ever. The car, finished in orange with a black interior, boasts a rear spoiler made from the advanced composite material CFRP (carbon fibre-reinforced plastic), special mesh-type wheels and track tyres that will increase mechanical grip.

How do you overtake a Lada? Walk

IT’S the most ridiculed car on the planet and the time has finally come for the Lada to rust in peace. Russian firm AvtoVAZ have scrapped the “classic” boxy model launched in 1970, 20million of which were sold worldwide.

Power from the screaming 4.8-litre V10 engine has been increased by 10bhp over the standard car to 562bhp, which overcomes the extra drag of the spoiler

to maintain the LFA’s 062mph time of 3.7 seconds and 202mph top speed. Whoever the lucky driver is, hopefully they have some track time booked soon.

Friday, April 20, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 17 represents N and 25 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Misplacement (4) 3 Militant supporter (8) 9 Maintain (7) 10 Alarm (5) 11 Being deceitful (5) 12 Any person (6) 14 Female sibling (6) 16 Skin problem (6) 19 Take chances (6) 21 Maxim (5) 24 Avoid (5) 25 Raise (7) 26 Close call (4,4) 27 State of confusion (4)

Down 1 Sluggish (8) 2 Japanese dish (5) 4 Yearly (6) 5 Appetising (5) 6 Odd (7) 7 Not any (4) 8 Bauble (6) 13 Sloppy (8) 15 Kitchen tool (7) 17 Place of worship (6) 18 Alcove (6) 20 Freshwater fish (5) 22 Astonish (5) 23 Enthusiastic (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Signal, 4 Strict, 9 Agitate, 10 Alien, 11 Bison, 12 Cascade, 13 Westminster, 18 Abandon, 20 Caste, 22 Twirl, 23 Release, 24 Minuet, 25 Ardent. Down: 1 Shabby, 2 Grids, 3 Against, 5 Traps, 6 Imitate, 7 Tender, 8 Reactionary, 14 Evasion, 15 Secular, 16 Bantam, 17 Decent, 19 Delve, 21 Shake.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Louse in religious order (6) 4 Artist meant to be abstract (5) 8 Spike’s ill-made point (5) 9 Bring up new order into men (7) 10 Curse a small company in a surge (7) 11 Trade in softwood (4) 12 Knock the hip-hop (3) 14 With church just this one time (4) 15 A certain vivacity apparent in Spanish and English articles (4) 18 Sounds like a star issue (3) 21 Made off with the cheese (4) 23 Fashion robs Eve of the ability to watch (7) 25 Fixed allowances in proportion by points (7) 26 Abraham’s son is given a bill (5) 27 Pearl’s ma can turn around real estate capitals (5) 28 Out to change the bonnet (4,2)

Down 1 Demand payment from poems I construct (6) 2 It’s in writing what newts do when confused (3,4) 3 Tin sign says ‘Song birds’ (8) 4 See 17 5 Artless one’s hidden in part of church (5) 6 In the middle of Manhattan, Glenda Jackson is in a mess (6) 7 Resin found in the chamber pot (5) 13 Sweat about hurdling each steeple (8) 16 Bats are disorientated flying alongside a plane (7) 17/4 Consider an imaginary animal (4,2,4) 19 A loop which gets one so hung up (5) 20 Light noodle, firm inside (6) 22 Worker in charge of the top part of the house (5) 24 Not one, but not many (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Enforce (6) 2 Land (3,4) 3 Song birds (8) 4 See 17 5 Innocent (5) 6 Snarl-up (6) 7 Hard fossil resin (5) 13 Sweat (8) 16 Side by side (7) 17/4 Take into account (4,2,4) 19 Loop with running knot (5) 20 Signal (6) 22 Prank (5) 24 A few (4)

Across 1 Small arthropod (6) 4 French painter (5) 8 Spike (5) 9 Speak of (7) 10 Affliction (7) 11 Distribute (4) 12 Knock (3) 14 On one occasion (4) 15 Panache (4) 18 Male child (3) 21 Dutch cheese (4) 23 Watch (7) 25 Fixed allowances (7) 26 Hebrew patriarch (5) 27 Mother-of-pearl (5) 28 Dead set (4,2)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Tickets, 5 Probe, 8 Idolise, 9 Alike, 10 Tango, 11 Passive, 12 Pester, 14 Tigers, 17 Roister, 19 On tap, 22 Taper, 23 Clamour, 24 Straw, 25 Scenery. Down: 1 Twist, 2 Crown, 3 Episode, 4 Sleeps, 5 Pears, 6 Orifice, 7 Elevens, 12 Pirates, 13 Skipper, 15 Isolate, 16 Fracas, 18 Throw, 20 Trove, 21 Party.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

Lea 2 letter words Mew As Ore He Rap 3 letter words Roe Age Sag Are Sax Awl Sea Baa See Bid Sob Dos Tea Ear Tie Eke Too Emu Tot Era Wet Fat Woo Hap Yes Ice 4 letter words Imp Acre Ire

Akin Aloe Amok Apse Arch Aria Begs Brae Cede Digs Ease Elan Fiat Iamb Keel Lore Mess Peep Pith

Salt Smog Sure Tale Teem Text 5 letter words Crass Ensue Psalm Sleet 6 letter words Cabled Orient Papers System 7 letter words Alludes Bootleg

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Tow truck (4) 4 Mouths (anatomy) (5) 9 Rings (on finger) (7) 10 Manzana (5) 11 Asado (5) 12 Más temprano (7) 13 Basto (superficie, piel) (6) 15 Street lamp (6) 19 To deserve (7) 21 To put (physically) (5) 23 Pala (para cavar) (5) 24 Walls (interior) (7) 25 Cisnes (5) 26 Rose (flower) (4)

Down 2 Queen (monarch) (5) 3 Athletes (7) 4 Cesto (canasta) (6) 5 Silla (5) 6 Seventh (7) 7 Tejido (tela) (6) 8 Cerveza (4) 14 Atrasos (7) 16 To breathe in (7) 17 A través de (6) 18 Uvas (6) 19 Table (furniture) (4) 20 Cave (5) 22 Nests (birds) (5)

Friday, April 20, 2012 Across 1 What name is given to a customs’ document listing the contents put on a ship or aeroplane? (8) 7 Which is the longest river in France? (5) 8 The US explorer Robert Peary was the first man to reach where in 1909? (5,4) 9/17D Which infamous Australian bushranger was hanged at Melbourne jail in November 1880? (3,5) 10 What name is given to ice crystals forming a white deposit, especially on objects outside? (4) 11/1D Which Norwegian painter and engraver’s best known work is The Scream? (6,5) 13 Among some peoples of northern Asia and North America, what name is given to a person regarded as having access to, and influence in, the world of good and evil spirits? (6) 14 Which fast food consists of a sausage served in a long, soft roll? (3,3) 17 The name of which oriental system of unarmed combat means ‘empty hand’? (6) 18 What title was given to an emperor of Russia before 1917? (4) 20 What name is given to a female sheep? (3) 22 Which country won soccer’s World Cup in 1978 and again in 1986? (9) 23 What name is given to a metal made by combining two or more metallic elements, especially to give greater

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

strength or resistance to corrosion? (5) 24 What is the name of the sloping parts of horses’ feet between the fetlocks and the hooves? (8) Down 1 See 11 Across

2 Smells Like Teen Spirit was which American band’s first British hit single? (7) 3 What name is given to the hot southerly wind on the northern slopes of the Alps? (4) 4 Which weapons with long metal blades and hilts with hand guards were used for thrusting or striking but are now typically worn as part of ceremonial dress? (6) 5 Which word can mean a very wicked person or someone who is extremely keen on or addicted to something? (5) 6 Which Football League Championship team, nicknamed the Royals, play at the Madejski Stadium? (7) 7 Beirut is the capital of which Middle Eastern country? (7) 12 In golf, what name is given to the part of a golf course between a tee and the corresponding green, where the grass is kept short? (7) 13 Which cocktail consists of brandy and lemon juice with orange liqueur? (7) 15 What name is normally applied to a collection of documents about a particular person, event, or subject? (7) 16 In flowers, what is the botanical name of the part of a pistil that receives the pollen during pollination? (6) 17 See 9 Across 19 What name is given to quantities of paper consisting of 480 or 500 sheets or 20 quires? (5) 21 Which unit of speed is equivalent to one nautical mile per hour? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH la ciudad 2 - the city 2

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

1. What Is The Name Of The Great Dane In The Cartoon Strip Drawn By Brad Anderson? 2. Until 1862 there was a tax in England for those who used what? 3. What was the first gramophone record made from? 4. In What Year Were Tissue Cells First Grown Outside The Body By Us Biologist Ross Harrison? 5. Kimono My House' Was The Debut Album For Which Group? 6. The Danakil tribe of Ethiopia makes 1 gravestone for each what? 7. Who Released Their Debut 'The Prince' On 2 Tone In 1979? 8. What Is The Earth's Most Abundant Metal? 9. What Is The 3D Version Of A Triangle Known As? 10. Kylie Minogues First Single Was 'I Should Be So Lucky' Or 'The Locomotion'? 11. Who Had Anaesthesia During ChildBirth Thereby Making It Acceptable? 12. Who is the patron saint of gypsies? 13. What is Ringo Starr's real name? 1. Marmaduke 2. Soap 3. Tinfoil 4. 1905 5. Sparks 6. Man they kill 7. Madness 8. Aluminium 9. A Cone 10. I Should Be So Lucky 11. Queen Victoria 12. St. Sarah 13. Richard Starkey

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across:1 Wetlands, 7 Joule, 8 Bering Sea, 9 Ava, 10 Rill, 11 Graces, 13 Fossil, 17 Reagan, 18 Sled, 20 Exe, 22 Des Moines, 23/21 Diana Dors, 24 Crystals. Down: 1 Weber, 2 Turtles, 3 Arno, 4/14/19 Desert Island Discs, 5 Lucas, 6 Aerated, 7 J’accuse, 12 Miranda, 13 Friends, 15 Atlanta, 16 Caesar, 17 Relax.

l s t e r r a t e n i e n t e

abono

pasajero

atraco

peaje

calzada

policia

campesino

terrateniente

carril-bus

tranvia

cruce

vagabundo

farola

vigilantes

mendigo

Match the English and Spanish names of fruit and vegetables. You will find the answers at the bottom of the page. 12.el tranvia, g.the peasant, h.the tram, 1.el atraco, 2.la farola, 13.la calzada, 14.el cruce, i.the toll, j.the street light, 3.el mendigo, 15.el peaje. k.the road surface, 4.el vagabundo, l.the beggar, m.the police, 5.los vigilantes, a.the tramp, n.the bus lane, 6.la policia, b.the landholder, o.the passenger. 7.el campesino, c.the crossroads, 8.el terrateniente, d.the mugging, 9.el abono, e.the guards, 10.el carril-bus, f.the season ticket, 11.el pasajero,

Answers: 1d, 2j, 3l, 4l, 5e, 6m, 7g, 8b, 9f, 10n, 11o, 12h, 13k, 14c, 15i.

general QUIZ

l c p v r t c o q v o t y l v o t o e a r c i p n r k d l x s c l e o g x u i a j z n o u z j i i f g t s n y g u r a a o l c g k o e v j h c d s i a d u i u n p i u m a a j n d l n w a o m a g j p k t l q c o u v b a r u l m e n d i g o r b a c v c r s s j p b y m u a a t e g n o c a r t a y b r f g l z u c h i j v z t t x f u a s g e p e a j e k n v o b i v l x s u b l i r r a c t j k b n r r w i y g i r r o u e r

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Fill It In

34 Clampdown: Spain’s Health Minister Ana Mato

Friday, April 20, 2012

‘Health tourists’ are milking the Spanish system, says minister

Wednesday that a new article will be introduced into Spanish law to “specifically prohibit this form of movement in search of healthcare”. She told a press conference: “Because we have not incorporated this article, many Europeans move to Spain only in search of healthcare. “It has reached the point that there are European people who have more health rights than many Spaniards.” Mato added the move is intended to “end health tourism and the abuses of the foreigners who come to Spain”. The government estiBRITAIN’S Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith announced a crack-down mates the crackdown will on benefit fraudsters living overseas during a visit to Madrid his week. save the health system one During a visit to his department team in the Spanish capital, the former billion euros. Conservative leader insisted: “We are determined to clamp down on benefit fraud As well as many foreigners abroad.’’ receiving treatment in Spain Cheats who falsely claim to live in the UK so they can get their hands on benefit that they should not be entitled to, the minister comcash cost UK taxpayers plained that this country even £43 million last year. Clampdown: Iain ends up footing the bill for the And the highest number Duncan Smith health care of foreigners of allegations for frauduwhen they return to their own lent claims are aimed at countries. Brits in Spain. “There are people who Mr Duncan Smith added: come to Spain, sign on the “This money should be Padron and with this Padron going to the people who obtain a health card that they need it most and not lining convert into a European the pockets of criminals health card. They return to sunning themselves overtheir country of origin and the seas. bill from their country of ori“Fraudulently claiming benefits while living gin is paid by Spain,” she lWork in Spain while said. abroad is a crime and we Offenders in Spain claiming sickness benefit are committed to putting a include those who... The move comes days in the UK. stop to it.” after a controversial report in l Claim means tested Claims for Income Spanish newspaper ABC Mr Duncan Smith urged benefits that are only Support and Pension claimed that the British govlaw-abiding Brits to use the payable in the UK Credit are most frequently ernment ‘instructs its subdedicated Spanish fraud lDon’t declare that they investigated for fraud in jects to take advantage of the hotline to report benefit own property abroad cheats. Spain. Spanish health system’. LARGE numbers of people are coming to Spain for the sole purpose of taking advantage of the Spanish health system, according to the Madrid government. And legislators have vowed to change the law and crack down on ‘health tourism’. Health Minister Ana Mato announced on

British weather in May? That’s SNOW business

BRITS are facing the coldest May for over a CENTURY after experts predicted the miserable weather from this month is set to continue. According to The Sun, the cool and wet spring is set to stay chilly - with even SNOW being forecast in some areas. Temperatures of around 5C and under combined with bitter winds will hit the east of the country - expected to be the worst affected by the cold front. The average May daytime temperature is usually about 15C across the UK. But forecasters say the miserable weather could pave the way for a sizzling summer. Piers Corbyn, of independent forecaster WeatherAction, said May will be the "coldest for 100 years with a record run of bitter northerly winds". He also said the last time the month of May had been as cold as the one predicted was in 1891. Mr Corbyn said the reason for the chill was that fast currents of cold air from the North Pole would stick over the east of the country. He said: “We are making this headline public because of its importance. The very cold expectations apply to eastern parts and near Europe rather than Ireland and West Britain.” “This is quite unusual, we last got a very cold May in 1996, but we could have to go back to 1891 to see similar. “It is certainly going to be a very cold month in the East, although the West will be milder during the day. The reason is the jet stream which looks like it is going to stick over that part of the country, holding cold air in place.” The forecast comes after a miserable April that has seen below-average temperatures, snow and torrential rain. Forecasters say there is an increased risk of flooding on roads as dry hard ground cannot soak up the large quantities of water. But forecasters believe that while the poor weather is likely to continue next month, Brits may be in for a hot summer. Jim Dale, a meteorologist at British Weather Services said: "It’s likely that the first week of May will be poor. If this weather continues into May, though, it could mean we are in for a good summer. It is all a balancing act.’’ The hoteliers association on the Costa Blanca says British tourism is saving the summer season with 133,400 package holidays already purchased. Sales from Brits in Benidorm are up 3% on last year, although in December it was 15% higher.

Britain turns heat on expat benefit cheats

CLOTHES ENCOUNTER OF A PREFERRED KIND

Smart Recycling, whilst new to Spain, is well known in the UK as The Rag 'n' Phone Man - paying you cash for unwanted clothes, shoes, belts, handbags and soft toys, even collecting direct from your home. As long as the clothes are clean, dry and re-wearable, no amount is too large. Another side to the company is in raising funds for local Charities by taking all their excess donated clothing and turning it into much-needed cash. Smart Recycling is also currently contacting local schools to help them organise collections to raise money directly for the schools. In the UK and here in Spain, this is called Bag2School. In the UK, Bag2School has already raised over £12 million for schools and hope to achieve similar success here. The clothing is all exported from Spain, currently going to Africa where it will be used to help start up small businesses and entrepreneurs, thereby boosting the local economies and reducing the reliance on hand-outs. These exports will also really help Spain's economic recovery. Smart Recycling currently operates in the Costa Blanca South region, but will shortly be expanding and able to cover the whole of the Costa and eventually all of Spain. You can contact them by email info@smartrecycling.es or

telephone 698 53 63 83 to arrange a collection. There are also collection points where you can drop off the clothes and get paid cash in San Miguel de Salinas - Chimes Bar, Calle Ruiz Caracena from 2pm Monday to Friday [just off the high street, near the football ground]Also in Dolores - at Irwins International Removals SL, Nave A, Partida La Vera, Ctra Dolores A Catral from 10 to 5, Monday to Friday - on the road to Catral from Dolores. Visit the website www.smartrecycling.es

Cash in with Smart Recycling

Friday, April 20, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY BBC spells out Blast of Brilliant Comedy

The BBC have blasted a large shot across ITV’s Friday night bows with a very entertaining comedy line-up starting with the return of Would I Lie to You and finishing off with The Matt Lucas Awards. Much as I like Matt, the show doesn’t work as well on TV as it did on the radio. That aside, putting on WILTY, followed by a new series of Have I Got News For You, shows how strong the BBC panel game cupboard is, with new runs for QI, Mock The Week and Never Mind the Buzzcocks all pending! WILTY, hosted by Rob Brydon, was hilarious, and I love the rows between team captains Lee Mack and David Mitchell. The only problem was that WILTY made the return of HIGNFY seem a bit boring and stale (I hope you are working out all these initials!). The success of an individual edition of HIGNFY

with ALEX TRELINSKI depends on a lot of factors, like the guests joining Messrs Hislop and Merton, and also who the host is. Last Friday was an example of where the laughs were low, doubly emphasised by following straight on after a funny WILTY. Ian Hislop seemed to have to do a lot of the work, with the guests largely quiet, and Paul Merton spending a lot of time in his shell. Stephen Mangan, though a decent host, is not a natural

Hilarious: Would I Lie to You

Roman Polanski's Carnage begins at what appears to be the end. Two pairs of parents, the Longstreets (Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly) and the Cowans (Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz), have met at the former's apartment because their two sons have had a fight. We see that inciting incident at the conclusion of the opening credits, an outburst of barbaric but childlike violence. The adults are very much insistent on being, well, adult about the whole thing; they've penned a letter and agree that the boys should meet, under some circumstance, to talk it out. The

funny man to move things up a gear or two, so it was all a bit flat. No such problems tonight as the acerbic Jo Brand will be in the chair. But dare I suggest that perhaps the team captains be rotated in the future to freshen things up, with say two new people taking it in turns with Ian and Paul? Just a thought. Game of Thrones is great television. Three episodes in, with series two on Sky Atlantic, which starts on Canal Plus this Monday, this fantasy drama has it all. It’s amazing to see big-screen movie standards coming to this HBO production, which also has the bonus of an Anglo-Irish cast. The only American there is Peter Dinklage, who for me is the star of the show as the scheming and witty Tyrion Lannister. I just love hearing every line he utters with the various quips and sharp putdowns, and he has richly deserved all those awards he has for his performances. Game of Thrones is not an easy programme to get into, with loads of characters and plots. I actually gave up on it after the first five episodes of the first series, only to try it again when it was repeated a few months ago. I stuck with it, and everything came together beautifully in the last two or three instalments. No surprise, then, that they start shooting series three in a few weeks time. This is genuine landmark television. Which is more than can be said for Titanic, which sank without trace last Sunday.

CARNAGE 15 Cowans put on their coats. But they do not quite make it out the door; something keeps pulling them back in to this little confrontation, which slowly but steadily goes clean out of their control. "We're all decent people, all four of us!" Mr. Longstreet insists, but by that point in the afternoon,

he's not even convincing himself. Carnage, which is adapted from the play that became Gods of Carnage on Broadway is a dark comedy of manners; its early scenes are all about unspoken rules of conduct, and its later scenes set about smashing them to bits.

CAST: Kate Winslet, Jodie Foster, Christoph Waltz, John C. Reilly DIRECTOR: Roman Polanski RATING: 4/5 RUNNING TIME: 79 min. This dvd review was brought to you by MOVING MOVIES - OVER 7000 DVDS IN STOCK. Delivering all over Spain and the UK Visit www.movingmovies.biz Tel 650 944 934 or email movingmoviesdvds@gmail.com

I’m talking about the UK audience figures for the last episode of this disastrous ITV adaptation. It takes a strong lead for the turkey of the year ahead of The Royal Bodyguard and Eternal Law, but at least the independent production company that made this tripe is laughing all the way to the bank. They sold the pup to over 120 countries, with a very tidy profit, thank you very much. At least Spain’s Antena 3 had the sense to run all four instalments in one night to get it out of the way. Nostalgia always rules for me, and BBC2 have hit on a winner with The 70’s, which started on Monday night. It was my decade for secondary school and becoming rebellious and going to the pub spending 25 pence of my dinner money on a pint of a vile brew called Watney’s Starbright! Historian Dominic Sandbrook was our guide, kicking off with 1970 to 1972, complete with loads of great clips and tunes, and his views on why the time was so liberating. The hour whizzed by as quickly as an out of control Space Hopper! I know that BBC1’s Holby City has an ensemble cast, but Guy Henry as surgical director Henrik Hanssen, is for me the best thing about the show. That’s hardly surprising as he’s appeared in countless Royal Shakespeare Company productions, and he takes Holby to a new level whenever he’s on-screen, which some of

The Voice has struck a chord in the UK

you might say is not an especially difficult thing to do. You almost felt sorry for Henry when Sahira left in Tuesday’s episode, and the producers will need to find a new character to challenge him in the future. Hanssen always reminds me of a former boss who used to creep into a room quietly whilst we were slagging him off, and stand there with arms folded, taking it all in. Perhaps Guy Henry was inspired by him when he bumped into him in a BBC corridor? No wonder Britain’s Got Talent has a later start on ITV1 tomorrow night - it got slaughtered by The Voice on BBC1 last weekend. Unbelievably, the Beeb’s singing show got double the viewers during a 20-minute

Everyone is so polite as it begins-walking away from what appears to be a cell phone call bearing bad news, making chit-chat about the art books on the coffee table. But the longer they stay in that apartment, the more things begin to come to the surface: class rifts, political splits, casual misogyny, base instincts and sheer nastiness. Carnage runs a fast, snappy 79 minutes, and its ending is oddly inconclusive, wrapping with a comma rather than a period, the kind of dénouement that's typically more acceptable in the theatre than on screen. On reflection, though, a film like this is less about that destination anyway. It is about the awkwardness and bitterness, the disappointment and rage, and the violence. Did I mention it's funny?

overlap with BGT, and has added over two million viewers since it started. It is also attracting a million more watchers overall compared to BGT. The Voice also saved the best till last in the final audition show with some showstoppers that almost had me reaching for a paper handkerchief. I’ve told everybody who wanted to listen that The Voice would be a big hit based on the US version, but it’s even taken me aback by the way it has struck a chord in the UK. Saturday’s edition really was one of the best produced and put together individual talent shows that I have seen, and I’m sure that Simon Cowell would have grudgingly approved.

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 01:20 01:25 01:55 02:55 03:55 04:55 05:00 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:45 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 19:55 20:00 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

This Week Holiday Weatherview Panorama Countryfile Antiques Roadshow In Orbit Sport Today Newsday HARDtalk BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather Don't Get Done, Get Dom Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country BBC News; Weather Incredible Edibles Diddy Dick & Dom All Over the Place The Owl Newsround Pointless BBC News Regional News Programmes Party Election Broadcast The One Show EastEnders Would I Lie to You? Have I Got News for You Not Going Out BBC News Regional News and Weather The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Beard 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 06:00 07:00

Meet the Romans with Mary BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools - How to Write Schools - Simon Armitage Schools - Empire Wibbly Pig

07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:20 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Numtums 09:50 Little Charley Bear 10:00 Buzz and Tell 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:35 Small Potatoes 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:10 Baby Jake 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Nature's Top 40 14:30 Instant Restaurant 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Perfection 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Brick by Brick: Rebuilding Our Past 23:00 Twenty Twelve 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 The Unforgettable 01:30 The Zone 03:30 Tonight 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 The Great British Taste Tour 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Poms in Paradise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Ray

00:05 01:05 01:10 02:05 02:35 03:50 04:15 04:25 05:20 05:25 06:20 07:05 07:15 07:40 08:05 08:35 09:00 09:30 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 13:30 14:30 16:10 17:00 18:00 18:30 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:35

Embarrassing Bodies Random Acts The Undateables Sex, Lies and Parkinson's Crucifixion Unreported World Get the Picture The Secret Life of Buildings My Eden Time Team Countdown The Treacle People The Hoobs The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed According to Jim Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss USA SuperScrimpers Secret Location Channel 4 News Summary River Cottage Location, Location, Location Guns of Fort Petticoat Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me Four in a Bed The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Unreported World 4thought.tv Come Dine with Me The Million Pound Drop Live Rude Tube

PIERS MORAGANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LIFE STORIES In his first major interview for nearly a decade, the former boxer recalls the highs and lows of his journey from troubled adolescent to world champion, and the personal meltdown that followed. He reveals the trauma of his retirement, divorce and committal to a psychiatric hospital, and how he battled his way back to health and happiness.

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 You may be called upon by a member of the legislature to help in some kind of debt restructuring for your country. Whatever you do don't let them charge anything to your credit card until noon on the 25th of the month.Your lucky combination all week is a ballet shoe, a soldier's beret and a picture of Keifer Sutherland.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Your clumsiness is about to increase over 60% this week, especially when playing any form of sport - throwing balls is about as badly starred as the charts have ever known - don't even think of trying to catch that baby its mother has thrown to you from that burning building until much later in the year.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 A Barbra Streisand impersonator, who likes nothing better than to super camp up her 'Don't Rain On My Parade' hit, is set to bewilder and entertain in equal measures this week, especially in supermarkets and hardware stores.Your lucky combination is a tropical fish tank, a watch stopped at 9:17 and an out of date invitation to a birthday party.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Cordial, fruit juices and even squashed fruit road kill are all well starred as long as you get any pieces of grit out before eating it. This week your lucky combination is a dog pleased to see you,a cup cake with a smiley face and a stuffed squirrel.

April 20

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Great Artists 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Restaurant Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Thirst 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 This week's mission impossible, should you choose to accept it, involves some sort of school run followed by a trip to the supermarket, along the way you will meet a surly parking attendant, an overweight woman walking her dog and someone eating a Big Mac. This message will not self destruct in 5 seconds due to a copyright claim from Paramount Pictures.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 The likelihood is that even Mark Harmon isn't as cool as you are about to be in some kind of altercation involving mustachioed, heavily tattooed, men in their mid forties carrying an impressive overload of BMI. You will stand your ground impressively, if a little fool hardily.

Libra September 23 - October 22 "Let's play chicken in our cars like those crazy ass kids did in them movies of the 50s", "Get away from that ledge" and "Let's go bungee jumping at the cheapest place we can find" are your exciting death defying activities this week, and for much of the rest of the year, or your life, whichever ends sooner.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Convoluted plots, particularly in movies that don't make any sense whatsoever, are your lucky movies this week. This forecast is sponsored by the World Convoluted And Bad Plotters Of Movies Association.Your lucky combination this week is a World Wrestling Championship belt from 1983, a part eaten pineapple and a President Nixon for president again pin.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Attempts to think outside the box this week are doomed to failure as Saturn clouds Sagittarius' creativity with a sonic thump to the right side of the brain. Your lucky combination this week is a ripe peach, a stuffed rook from a bird that appeared in the original Omen movie, and a fake beard.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Ed, Dave or George are your unlucky 'mate' names this week - any ideas they have are all doomed to failure in a watery, floury, slapstick movie of old, kind of way.This week your lucky combination is some ill fitting tennis shorts, a pink frizzy wig and a diplomatic no check fast pass through Charles De Gaule airport, Paris.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Melting things is well starred this weekespecially the melting of bones to make gelatine. Favor those metal head caps with twisty things coming out of the top in any evil castle laboratory situation until well into June. This week your lucky combination is a brown shoe, a blue tie and a half eaten Knickerbocker glory ice cream.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 You will have a choice this week whether to watch a 3D movie with those blue/red glasses, or try a new meditation technique Pluto inspired 'scientists' from countries of which you had never heard have developed which apparently allows you to see 3D in a flat 2D image.

The Courier Saturday TV

April 21

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The Matt Lucas Awards 01:05 EastEnders 03:00 Weatherview 03:05 Natural World 04:05 Question Time 05:05 Britain's First Photo Album 05:35 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 Snooker: The World Championship 17:30 Final Score 18:20 Formula One 19:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 The Voice UK 21:30 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day

00:00 The Review Show 00:45 Weather 00:50 Later with Jools Holland 01:55 Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers 03:20 BBC News 03:30 The Record Review 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With

05:35 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Extreme Animals 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Diddy Dick & Dom 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 The Slammer 10:30 The Ministry of Curious Stuff 11:00 Animals at Work 11:35 Splatalot 12:05 Copycats 12:30 OOglies 12:45 MOTD Kickabout 13:05 Escape to the Country 13:35 Advise and Consent 15:50 The Cheyenne Social Club 17:30 Snooker: The World Championship 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em 20:00 The Good Life 20:30 Dad's Army 21:00 TV 1973 - The Defining Shows 22:00 I Love 1971 22:55 One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest

02:20 The Zone 04:00 House of Wax 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Saturday Cookbook 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 The Real Housewives of New York City 13:15 Murder, She Wrote 14:20 ITV News and Weather 14:24 Meridian Weather 14:25 Free Willy 16:35 The Planet's Funniest Animals 16:50 The Mirror Crack'd 18:50 Meridian News and Weather 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Keith Lemon's LemonAid 20:00 All New You've Been Framed! 20:30 The Cube 21:30 Britain's Got Talent 22:45 Benidorm 23:45 ITV News and Weather 23:59 Meridian Weather

THE ITALIAN JOB Comedy caper starring Michael Caine and NoĂŤl Coward. When Charlie Croker is released from prison, he is soon up to no good. After securing the financial backing of crimelord Mr Bridger, he puts into motion plans for a gold-bullion robbery that is to take place in Turin. But the Mafia have other ideas...

00:35 Random Acts 00:40 Slither 02:25 I Think I Love My Wife 03:55 My Name Is Earl 04:15 Franklin & Bash 04:55 St Elsewhere 05:45 Privileged 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 The Grid 08:25 British GT 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 The TV Book Club 10:25 Koko Pop 11:00 Made in Chelsea 12:05 The Big Bang Theory 12:40 The Big Bang Theory 13:15 The Simpsons 13:50 Deal or No Deal 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 17:30 Come Dine with Me 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 Channel 4 News 19:15 4thought.tv 19:20 The Italian Job 21:10 Elizabeth Taylor: Auction of a Lifetime 22:45 The Million Pound Drop Live

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Great Artists 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 City of Friends 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Igam Ogam 07:50 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:10 Family! 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:45 Little Princess 09:00 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:15 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Rupert Bear 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 The Mr Men Show 10:20 Roary the Racing Car 10:35 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 The Restaurant Inspector 12:10 Rory McGrath's Pub Dig 13:10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 14:10 Trapeze 16:15 The Vikings 18:30 Beetle Juice 20:15 5 News Weekend 20:20 NCIS 21:10 NCIS 22:10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:10 CSI: NY

The Courier Sunday TV

April 22

00:50 The Football League Show 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 British Olympic Dreams 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 09:30 Athletics: The London Marathon 15:00 Sunday Politics 16:05 Human Planet 17:05 Lifeline 17:15 Songs of Praise 18:00 Formula One 19:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:45 Countryfile 20:30 The Voice UK 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

01:05 Snooker: The World Championship 01:55 Snooker Extra 03:55 Close

07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Deadly 60 Bites 08:05 Extreme Animals 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 Natural World 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Great British Menu 13:00 Flog It! 14:00 Escape to the Country 15:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:00 London Marathon 2012 Highlights 19:00 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 20:00 Frank Wild: Antarctica's Forgotten Hero 21:00 Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 22:00 Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission 23:00 Match of the Day 2

00:00 The Last Boy Scout 01:55 The Zone 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Dinner Date 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Ade in Britain 11:30 May the Best House Win 12:30 Long Lost Family 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:34 Meridian Weather 13:35 Britain's Got Talent 14:50 The Planet's Funniest Animals 15:10 The Planet's Funniest Animals 15:35 Columbo: Ashes to Ashes 17:30 The Betty Driver Story 18:30 You've Been Framed! 19:00 Harry Hill's the Best of TV Burp 19:30 Meridian News and Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 All Star Family Fortunes 21:00 Vera 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Perspectives: David Walliams: The Genius of Dahl

ONCE UPON A TIME

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, so she signs a contract with Rumpelstiltskin, who transforms her into a princess. Only later does she realise she has agreed to give away her firstborn child to the conniving villain. Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, Emma meets a pregnant 19-year-old who gets on the wrong side of Mr Gold. Fantasy drama, starring Robert Carlyle, Jessy Schram and Jennifer Morrison.

00:20 Top Gun 02:25 Flight of the Phoenix 04:15 Night Walking 04:20 Franklin & Bash 05:00 St Elsewhere 05:50 Privileged 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:10 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 08:35 Sailing 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 11:00 Sunday Brunch 13:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 The Simpsons 14:55 The Simpsons 15:25 Jungle 2 Jungle 17:25 Coraline 19:25 Celebrity Deal or No Deal 20:20 Channel 4 News 20:50 4thought.tv 20:55 Time Team 22:00 Homeland 23:00 East Is East

00:05 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 Great Artists 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Igam Ogam 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family! 08:35 Mio Mao 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:20 Roary the Racing Car 10:35 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Chinese Food in Minutes 11:10 Grey's Anatomy 12:05 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 13:05 Police Interceptors 14:05 Cowboy Traders 15:05 Corrina, Corrina 17:20 The Water Horse 19:25 5 News Weekend 19:30 The Magnificent Seven 22:00 Once Upon a Time 23:00 A Perfect Murder

The Courier Monday TV

April 23

00:10 00:50 02:15 02:20 03:20 04:20 05:05 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:45 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 16:35 17:00 17:30 Magic 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

Room 101 - Extra Storage The Love Letter Weatherview Empire Holby City Antiques Road Trip Newsday HARDtalk BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather Don't Get Done, Get Dom Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country BBC News; Weather Incredible Edibles Lockie Leonard Diddy Dick & Dom Copycats Help! My Supply Teacher Is Newsround Pointless BBC News Regional News Programmes The One Show BBC News; Regional News EastEnders Panorama Silent Witness BBC News Regional News and Weather A Question of Sport

00:10 Twenty Twelve 00:40 Grandma's House 01:10 Snooker: The World Championship 02:00 Formula One 03:20 Snooker Extra 05:20 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Lunar Jim

07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:20 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Numtums 09:50 Little Charley Bear 10:00 Buzz and Tell 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:35 Small Potatoes 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:10 Baby Jake 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 21:30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 22:00 The 70s 23:00 Sounds of the 70s 2 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 Premiership Rugby Union 01:05 ITV News Headlines 04:00 British Superbike Championship Highlights 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Scott & Bailey 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Agenda

THE GADGET SHOW: WORLD TOUR New series. The long-running show returns in a new format - and while fans may be disappointed that Suzi Perry, Ortis Deley and Jon Bentley are no longer around, Jason Bradbury and Pollyanna Woodward remain, travelling the world to sample the latest gadgets in a different country each week.

00:55 Dabangg 03:10 Facejacker 03:35 Hit the Road Jack 04:20 Hollyoaks 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 Secret Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 Glamour Puds 14:05 Channel 4 Presents - Joe Bestwick 2012 14:10 The African Queen 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Inside Nature's Giants 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

01:10 10 Things I Hate About 02:10 SuperCasino 05:00 UEFA Europa League Highlights 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Restaurant Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Recipe for Murder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Traders 21:00 The Gadget Show: World Tour 22:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 23:00 10 Things I Hate About

The Courier Tuesday TV

April 24

00:05 00:35 01:20 01:25 02:25 03:25 04:25 05:10 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:45 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

Late Kick Off The Graham Norton Show Weatherview Our Food Toughest Place to Be Rights Gone Wrong? Antiques Road Trip Newsday HARDtalk BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather Don't Get Done, Get Dom Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country BBC News; Weather; Incredible Edibles Lockie Leonard Copycats The Owl Newsround Pointless BBC News Regional News Programmes The One Show EastEnders Holby City The Syndicate BBC News Regional News and Weather The Matt Lucas Awards

00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:15 The Super League Show 05:00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go!: Key Stage 1 06:00 Schools: Ecomaths: Primary 07:00 Wibbly Pig

07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:20 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Numtums 09:50 Little Charley Bear 10:00 Buzz and Tell 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:35 Small Potatoes 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:10 Baby Jake 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 22:00 Meet the Romans with Mary Beard 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 The Mighty Mississippi with Trevor McDonald 01:05 The Zone 03:35 Champions League Weekly 04:05 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Countrywise Kitchen 21:00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Celebrity 22:00 The Mighty Mississippi with Trevor McDonald 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Battle for London - The Mayoral Debate

THE SYNDICATE Jamie is living the high life, convinced the police cannot touch him now he has money - but the past comes back to haunt him when the local drug boss pays a visit. Bob says goodbye to those he loves as he prepares to undergo surgery, and Stuart is torn between his life with Amy and supporting Leanne, who is getting ready for her court case in Wales. Timothy Spall, Matthew McNulty, Joanna Page and Matthew Lewis star. Last in the series.

00:00 Homeland 01:05 Random Acts 01:10 Enthiran 04:15 Abductees 04:30 The Merits of Ferrets 04:55 St Elsewhere 05:45 Smallville 06:25 Privileged 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:35 Frasier 10:00 Secret Millionaire Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 Secret Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 Glamour Puds 14:10 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 14:20 The Admirable Crichton 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 Hidden Talent 23:00 Facejacker 23:30 Hit the Road Jack

00:00 National Security 01:40 Comedy Kings: Best of Just for Laughs 02:10 SuperCasino 05:05 Rough Guide to Beaches 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Great Artists 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Restaurant Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Mystery Woman: In the Shadows 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21:00 Rory McGrath's Pub Dig 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 CSI: Miami

The Courier Wednesday TV

April 25

00:10 Kevin Bridges: What's the Story? 00:40 The Estate 01:10 Below 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 The Apprentice 03:55 Horizon 04:55 Britain's First Photo Album 05:25 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; 16:05 Incredible Edibles 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Copycats 17:30 The Owl 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Rowing the Arctic

00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Schools: The Bloodhound Adventure 06:00 Schools: After Life: Rot Box

Detectives 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:20 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Numtums 09:50 Little Charley Bear 10:00 Buzz and Tell 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:35 Small Potatoes 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:10 Baby Jake 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Lifeline 14:40 Snooker: The World Championship 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Our Food 22:00 Divine Women 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired 23:30 Weather

00:45 The Unforgettable 01:10 The Zone 01:10 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Crossing Jordan 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

THE APPRENTICE The candidates are challenged to sell gourmet food on the streets of Edinburgh, and after a spot of market research at a London food fair, where they realise there is more to this challenge than serving up burger and chips, the teams head north. One team hopes to tempt the tourists with Scottish stew, while the other opts for Italian meatballs - but mistakes with the produce and pricing mean the lunchtime rush is anything but, and lead to a desperate afternoon as the business brains try to sell what low-cost meals they can before the deadline arrives.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Desperate Housewives 01:10 Poker 02:10 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:35 Sailing 03:05 FIM World Superbikes 03:30 Channel 4 Presents 03:35 British GT 04:05 The Grid 04:30 Channel 4 Presents 04:35 Freesports on 4 05:05 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Body Building 05:10 Road to London 2012 06:05 Channel 4 Presents 06:10 Full Metal Challenge 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Secret Millionaire Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 Secret Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 Glamour Puds 14:10 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 14:20 Town on Trial 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 Queen Victoria's Last Love 23:00 BodyShock

00:50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 Inside Hollywood 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Rough Guide To 05:15 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:40 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:05 Great Artists 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Restaurant Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Love Begins 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 The Gadget Show: World Tour 21:00 Cowboy Traders 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

The Courier Thursday TV

April 26

00:45 01:45 01:50 02:20 03:20 04:05 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:45 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 19:55 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

The Syndicate Weatherview See Hear Watchdog Antiques Road Trip Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Panorama BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather Don't Get Done, Get Dom Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country BBC News; Weather; Incredible Edibles Lockie Leonard Copycats The Owl Newsround Pointless BBC News Weather Party Election Broadcast The One Show EastEnders Watchdog New Tricks BBC News Regional News and Weather Question Time

00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Snooker Extra 03:10 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:05 Close 05:00 Children at Work: Football 05:30 Children at Work: Circus 06:00 Children at Work: Cocoa 06:30 Children at Work: Bollywood

07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Lunar Jim 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Bear Behaving Badly 09:20 Shaun the Sheep 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Numtums 09:50 Little Charley Bear 10:00 Buzz and Tell 10:05 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:20 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:35 Small Potatoes 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:10 Baby Jake 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Two Greedy Italians 22:00 Louis Theroux: Extreme Love 23:00 Grandma's House 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Total Emergency 01:30 ITV News Headlines 03:35 The Pelican Brief 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories

THE PLOT TO BRING DOWN BRITAINS PLANES Documentary exploring a 2006 terror plot that aimed to detonate bombs simultaneously on several US airliners departing from Heathrow, which if successful could have killed more than 2,000 people. The programme reconstructs the MI5 investigation that prevented the attack, and reveals how American intervention forced British security services to make premature arrests that might have jeopardised the operation.

00:05 2 Broke Girls 00:35 The Inbetweeners 01:05 Random Acts 01:10 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:30 Chase and Status: Live at Brixton Academy 02:00 Spotlight 02:15 EJ: Intro 02:30 Launched at Red Bull Studios 02:40 4Play 02:50 Live from Abbey Road 03:35 Garden State 05:20 One Minute Past Midnight 05:30 St Elsewhere 06:20 Countdown 07:05 The Treacle People 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 Secret Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 Glamour Puds 14:05 Pony Express 16:05 Channel 4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'The Sharp End' 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Get Your House in Order 22:00 The Plot to Bring Down Britain's Planes 23:30 Extreme A&E

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:55 Poker: The Big Game 01:55 SuperCasino 05:05 Rough Guide to Eco Escapes 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 Great Artists 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Restaurant Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 The Family Recipe 16:25 Polar Storm 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 19:55 Police Interceptors 20:55 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:15 Flight of Fury

Friday, April 20, 2012

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CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

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Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 TipTop Villa Care, for all your property needs. Meet and Greets. Cleaning. Holiday and Long Term Rentals. Advertising. Baby Equipment Hire. www.tiptopvillacare.com e-mail linda@tiptopvillacare .com Tel 667848582 (60)

LONG TERM RENTALS ROLDAN UNFURNISHED DETACHED VILLA 3

Bedroom 2 bathroom Community POOL 525€/mth plus Bills Tele. Linda 667848584 (61) ROLDAN FURNISHED DETACHED VILLA opposite Park 3 Bedroom 2 bathroom Community POOL 525€/mth plus Bills Tele. Linda 667848584 (61) LOMAS DEL RAME LARGE PLOT LARGER THAN AVERAGE VILLA 3 Bedroom or 2 Bedroom /OFFICE 2 bathroom 600€/mth plus Bills Tele. Linda 667848584 (61) EL CARMOLI 3 Bedroom 2 bathroom LARGE REAR and FRONT TERRACES Tele. Linda 667848584 (61)

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata. Close to all amenities and beach. 3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, Three Bedroom Quad house in Jarden Del Mar. Close to all amenities, bars, shops, restaurants. €425pcm Call 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to

shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, April 20, 2012

Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis. The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10

minutes from the beach. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Excellent cover for your house and home, includes travel assistance for when you go away. Interesting prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote

EL CARMOLI STUNNING VILLA with Private Pool Large Corner Plot REDUCED BY 100,000€ NOW 249,750 MUST BE SEEN (61) REDUCED Ground floor Duplex in Puerto Marino, Gran Alacant. Now only 99,500 euros. 2 bed, 1 bath, fully furnished Central heating, glazed galleria, grills, Mozzie nets, front garden, com pools, Private gated parking, walking distance to Shops bars restaurants etc. 627 711 155 Calling all serious Buyers. I have a 5 bed, 4 bath, 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, detached Villa with self-filling pool in Gran Alacant. Everything included in price, fantastic Alicante /sea views. As a starting price I am looking in the region of

265.000 euros Interested in making me an offer call me on 680 333 242 Mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant 2 Bed, 3 Bath, being sold fully furnished. Electrical Appliances included, large front and rear garden, choice of communal pools, Private secure parking and walking distance to GA Center. 140.000 euros ono. Call 627 711 155 for viewing. Lovely well maintained terraced property situated in Mediterranea III in Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, everything included in price. Large communal pool, tennis courts, established gardens Walking distance to shops, bars restaurants. Very quiet location, over looks nature reserve. Private parking, call

680 333 242 for more details. 133.000 euros Beach Front property opposite Carabassi Beach 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, roof top solarium under ground secure parking, walking distance to beach Situated on local tram and bus route. Being sold fully furnished. 4 communal pools, tennis courts, bar and restaurant with in urbanisation Please ring 966 699 136 after 6pm (english & spanish spoken) Now only

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125.000 euros excellent value in Gran Alacant. Quick sale needed. 199.000 euros ono Detached property in Puerto Marina. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, Immaculately furnished Alarmed, Central heating, Log fire, Hot & Cold air con, open fields to the rear, Private parking, Communal pools. 966.699.478 after 5 pm. Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant 209,000 euros 3 Double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes 2 bathrooms,

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Friday, April 20, 2012 spacious kitchen with galleria Lounge complete with chimney, large under build, top quality furniture and appliances inc. Com pools, underground garage, tennis courts To view call 627 711 155 Semi-detached villa in Gran Alacant 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge diner, independent kitchen, glazed in porch, large solarium with stunning views, Private Parking. A/Con Central heating, UK TV. Only 229.000 euros By appointment only call 966 699 136 Large detached villa, large pool with electronic solar cover, converted under build, roof top solarium with conservatory, panoramic views 545 m2 plot, part furnished, double glazed, A/con, alarmed, gas fire, est. irrigated gardens Call 680 333 242 for best price Ref 30 Close to Supavalue in Gran Alacant. Detached villa with pool on 640m2 plot. 3 bed, 2 bath, lounge diner, large roof top solarium, Porch, Outside WC, 2 built-in BBQ’s, Log Fire, Under build, Alarmed, Mature

Gardens, Toldos blinds, Garage, Electronic Gates. 260.000 euros 627 711 155 English & Spanish spoken. Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit :

www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good

RECYCLING CLOTHES

MASSAGE

REMOVALS

PAVING

sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €198,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref 532: 3 Bedroom Detached villa Located on the edge of a small spanish village with 3,800 sqm of landscaped gardents, Private Pool, Bargain €180,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 533: Lovley 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equiped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, April 20, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

RAKE THAT! A SANDY GUIDE TO BUNKERS SUCCESSFUL SAND SAVES

WHEN a good friend of mine was asked the other day if there were golf courses in Croatia, he responded: “I don’t know - but if not, the bunkers are there.’’ Anyway, those dreaded sand things go back a long way, in fact they are as old as the Royal and Ancient game itself. The early bunkers were a great deal different to the shallow and smoothly racked ones that we have to negotiate today. Back then, bunkers were developed on Links land as a result of the efforts of grazing sheep to shelter from the elements and wind erosion. These natural features quickly deterred the early golfers and with man’s ability to create them artificially, they soon became a common method of adding strategy to new courses. The architects in the early days used bunkers for two main reasons - to influence play and to add creative benefit to a hole. Combining these things allowed the formation of classic bunkers, which were hazards in every sense of the word. And don’t forget, there were no sand wedges - it was not until the 1930’s when Gene Sarazen developed such a club and also it should be remembered bunkers were not raked (that’s strange, we seem to be going back in time). Today, many modern golf courses are strewn with flat, shallow-lipped bunkers that have a firm base, which nearly guarantee that the ball will seldom plug. This is in complete contrast to the original hazards, to such an extent that today’s professionals prefer to be in a bunker than the rough. There are some down sides. It takes armies of green-keeping staff to keep the bunkers in good shape and it is that amount of maintenance that some clubs cannot afford. The main gripe when it comes to bunkers is that there is either too much sand or not enough - or the wrong type of sand. The real reason is that an awful lot of golfers do not know how to rake (or want to) a bunker. There are a number of simple actions that can be taken to improve the every-day condition and performance of bunkers.

1. Much of the raking is one handed (while still holding the sand wedge in the other), thereby dragging the sand from the hitting area towards the rear lip of the bunker. This in turn creates the dreaded downhill lie which we golfers complain about. 2. Golfers should be aware of the importance of leaving bunkers in the same condition as they would like to find them. 3. Using rakes with shallow teeth can reduce displacement of the sand in hitting areas. If you don’t have a choice, which is often the case, push the sand back into hitting areas, which is normally the centre of the bunker. Long-toothed rakes should really only be used by

green staff when they are required to redistribute sand or re-contour sand in the bunker. It is all part of the etiquette of golf to leave the bunker as you personally wish to find it. It is quite amazing how some golfers, male and female, tramp through bunkers leaving great footprints for your ball to land in. I have seen golfers on many occasions walk into the bunker, play their shot and promptly walk out of it, without any attempt to rake their damage. Make sure you are not one of them

Did you know…  There is no official rule regarding whether rakes should be left in or out of greenside or fairway

bunkers. This decision is left to each individual golf club and information on this sometimes can be found alongside the local rules section of the scorecard. Peter Alliss suggests leaving it in the bunker.  During the final construction phase on the Brabazon Course at The Belfry, persistent rain made it impossible to get the heavy lorries, which were used to transport the sand, onto the site. So in order to meet the projected official opening date for the completion of the course, designer Dave Thomas (he of Hacienda del Alamo and Roda fame) had the sand for the bunkers delivered directly onto the bunkers by helicopter.

BEING successful out of the sand depends on three things: correct setup, proper technique and consistent point of entry. You should use a sand wedge when playing short sand shots around the green. A sand wedge may vary from 55 to 58 degrees of loft with 8 to 12 degrees of bounce. I personally prefer a 56-degree sand wedge with around 8 degrees of bounce. For the correct set-up, I like to draw or visualiSe three lines in the sand. Each line has a specific purpose. The line going from the target to the ball and then extending beyond the ball is called the target line. The line that is about 10 degrees open to the target line is the angle of our feet or toes. Then I draw a line perpendicular to the target line originating at the ball. This represents ball position, which should be off the left heel for right handed golfers. Once you have the correct set-up with the same amount of weight on each foot, the face of the club should be slightly open. This puts loft on the ball and allows the back portion of the bottom of the club to bounce off the sand, as opposed to having the leading edge dig into the sand. The start of the backswing should be straight back or slightly outside the target line. There is an immediate breaking of the hands as you start this motion, producing a more vertical swing which encourages the club to enter the sand about two inches behind the ball (this is the point of entry). What you are actually trying to do is to take as little sand as possible without contacting the ball. Allow the sand to lift the ball from the bunker. (You can work on getting a consistent point of entry with the Point of Entry Drill described here.) As you make contact with the sand there should be a cupping of the left wrist. Let me explain "cupping." Assume you are wearing a watch on your left wrist and the face, as usual, is pointing outward. When contacting the sand on the forward swing, you should try to take the back of your left hand and move it towards your watch face, thereby creating wrinkles underneath your left wrist. This action is called "cupping of the wrist" and it is very necessary in producing quality sand shots. Since this motion prevents the club from closing, the ball is lifted in the air with backspin. These are the three most important things regarding sand play around the greens. You don't have to be perfect to get out of a sand bunker, but you have enough of the basic principles to get started.

TITTER ON THE TEE A COUPLE of friends were playing a round of golf on a remote course in the tropics of Northern Australia. After a few holes, one of them needed to relieve himself, so he walked into the rough, dropped his trousers and began to wee. As he was in mid-stride, a large snake reared up and bit his penis.

The man screamed for help. His playing partner rushed to get help from the clubhouse, where a member who happened to be a doctor told him the treatment for snake bites was to make was a small cut where the bite is and suck all of the deadly poison out. Otherwise it could be fatal. He thanked the doctor and

rushed back to his friend, who asked: “What did the doctor say?” His friend replied: “You’re going to die.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK WHY is the person who handles your assets and money called a ‘Broker’?

Friday, April 20, 2012

SILLY OLD NAGS Ban the Grand National? Neigh way!

OH, please do stop NAGGING on! The Grand National is a great race and a national institution, so leave it alone. Horses, like everyone and anything else, die all the time. In their stables, on the gallops, in a field so what's new about a couple keeling over in the National last Saturday? I would like to know what those nambypamby do-gooders who moan on about the race had for their meals today. If it wasn't animal related in any shape or form I'll eat my, er nuts and there will be neigh more bother from me! If it was, shut up and don't bother us again! Racehorses are bred to do just that.....race. They would not be happy simply munching grass in a quiet corner of a field in the Cotswolds and having the odd clip-clop round the area with an inbred

blue-blood on its back. I have attended meetings at courses all over the country and remember vividly going to the fantastic Cheltenham Festival throughout the 80s. The horses still running could hardly move for green screens and medics of all descriptions littering the course in those days, so it HAS got better - not worse. What will the PC brigade and the rest advocate next? Banning swimmers from entering the water in case they get too wet? Oh! I forgot. We have a drought on in England at the moment so that's a NO, NO anyway isn't it? My partner and I backed six horses last Saturday and we were in with a shout right up to the elbow when the horses entered the final runin after an epic race over the fences. The finish was just as

soon as it all goes over to Channel 4 in a wee while. I asked their pundit John McCririck for his thoughts on the National but he just kept calling me female and waving his arms and fingers about so I left him in the padded cell and refused to undo his straitjacket. The next big race events will be on the Flat and I bet there won't be too many protests when the Queen and those other Royals make their way up the course at Ascot in their golden carriages.

good and although my 100-1 shot Hello Bud faded, along with our other hopes, the winner did well, plodding on steadily to overtake his rival by a nose on the line. Nocturnal something or other. I slept well that night but I don't know about the PC brigade and those other

horse protectors! The BBC bid farewell to the National and any h o r s e racing whatsoe v e r

from a knee injury, told the BBC. “I have spoken to (England and Britain coach) Hope Powell and this will more or less signal the end.’’ White made her England debut in 1997 and has captained her country at two World Cups and two European Championships. She missed the decisive penalty as England went out of the 2011 World Cup quarter-finals to France. She said she was not sure if she would return to playing for her club, or retire from the game completely. “I have had 15 or 16 years with England and I think this was always going to be my last year,’’ she admitted. “Having made that decision after the World Cup I picked up yet another injury and had to have keyhole surgery on both my knees, which has been quite a struggle to come back from. “But I have always overcome injuries in the past and I was determined to get over this one. I finally got back to playing and training in the New Year, but basically my international career will be over now.’’

DESPITE a massive away following, CD Montesinos slipped to their second defeat of the season at the hands of league leaders Dolores – leaving a second-place finish their best chance of promotion. Chances were few and far between after Monte manager Juanpe started with an attacking formation which saw them have most of the play. The only goal came in the 40th minute from one of the few break-away chances by Dolores. It is clear to see why they are still unbeaten as they defend very deep and in numbers, clear the ball at every opportunity and rely on the breakaways. Although this defeat dents Monte’s title chances, there is every chance of them gaining

ENGLAND WOMEN’S Dolores pile on the CAPTAIN SET TO QUIT promotion pain

FAYE WHITE, the 34-yearold Arsenal centre-back, will skip the Olympic Games and probably quit international women’s football alto-

gether. “I’m pregnant and I’m going to be a mum for the first time in October,’’ White, who is currently recovering

Dolores 1 CD Montesinos 0

promotion as runners up. For that to happen they will need to win all four remaining matches. On Sunday, they entertain Todo Deporte Montesinos with a 5pm kick off. For additional informa-

tion, go to the website www.cdmontesinos.com. email thefullmonte2011 @hotmail.com or telephone 637 869 602. In association with CajaMurcia Photo by Malcolm Byrom

Friday, April 20, 2012

SICK AS A CLARET

Hunter tackle still haunts Championship fan Casper BURNLEY legend Frank Casper still finds the beautiful game entertaining - despite his own career being ended by a "cowardly" challenge from notorious hard man Norman Hunter. Casper, a silky-smooth inside forward, scored 74 goals in 237 appearances for Burnley, playing in English football’s top-flight alongside international stars like Ralph Coates, Martin Dobson, Paul Fletcher, Colin Waldron and Leighton James. He played for and went on to manage Burnley twice, the second period between 1989 and 1991, when I was the reporter covering the Clarets for the Lancashire Evening Telegraph. Casper, whose son Chris played for Manchester United, Reading and Bournemouth and now works for the Premier League, still watches a lot of football, mainly at his beloved Turf Moor. And he rates the current Championship competition almost as entertaining as the Premier League. "It's not as good as the last two or three years,’’ he says. “It used to be really competitive going right down to mid-table.” "This season only Southampton and Reading have

STEVE BOTT reports

really stood out for me. But while a lot of the teams I have seen at Turf Moor have been ordinary, Millwall were one of the sides that really impressed me. Despite struggling for much of the season, they were very organised. "West Ham and Leeds have been a disappointment. I thought Leeds in particular would be a lot stronger but they have lost one or two of their better players over the last few years and they are hard to replace." Any mention of Leeds stirs up unhappy memories for Casper, whose career was effectively ended in 1974 by a Hunter tackle after he had previously suffered a bad knee injury against Tottenham. "It was a cowardly challenge," he maintains. "One minute I was going past him, the next he was kicking me from behind on the running track behind the goals. He just whacked me and that finished me.” “I don't rate him as one of the real hard men of the game. He was a coward. He wouldn't take you on face to face. He would just kick you when you least expected it. "The real hard players of my time were Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris, Tommy Smith, Mike England, George Curtis and Harry Cripps. There was also Nobby Stiles, who used to kick you and then tell the ref he was sorry but he hadn't got his contact lenses in! "He was a little bit over the top now and again but I thought Nobby was hard but fair. Leeds were the worst

Blast from the 60s: From left, Norman Hunter, Frank Casper and Leighton James

team when it came to over-the-top tackles." Going back to the current Championship, Casper adds: "Blackpool have surprised me with their late run. But they do go out to win games. Birmingham look nice and organised too and they could go straight back up if they can stay in the play-off positions. "Cardiff have got themselves back in contention too after being up at the top early in the season then fading. I think their run to the final of the League Cup upset them a bit in the league." Casper has spotted two bright young stars for the future in his own team's ranks at Turf Moor. "Jay Rodriguez and Keiron Trippier look good enough for the Premier League,’’ he says. “But they still have quite a lot to learn.’’ The view that the gap between the Championship and the Premier League is narrowing has been backed up by the success of two of last season's promoted teams, Norwich and Swansea. They have more than held their own in the Premier League this season and the third, QPR, may yet escape relegation. Casper says: "I will be surprised if the three that go up this time do as well. The better players are in the Premier League, but there is no question that the fans are getting value for money in the Championship right now.’’