The Courier Week 65 by TKO UK

Edition 65

www.thecourier.es

Friday, May 18, 2012

Where Euro 2012 is more than life’s worth to a dog

THE Ukraine’s mass slaughter of homeless dogs has appalled animal lovers as the former Soviet republic prepares to host Europe’s biggest international football tournament. The Courier’s resident dog psychiatrist is outraged at the horrific ‘clean-up’ - and wants those who DO care to support the campaign and petition to halt the wanton murder of man’s best friend

DYING FOR A GAME

IN three weeks’ time, a major festival of football will begin in Poland and Ukraine, who are jointly hosting the Euro 2012 tournament.

In Spain, the Spanish flag will be out in force, as will the flag of St George in England. Houses and cars will be decorated with banners and the passion of the world’s greatest game will again descend on us all. Poland and Ukraine will once again be the deciding voice have put the finishing and if he chooses not to support the touches to their stadiums Mayor a no-confidence vote in the and infrastructure and will be government would normally be welcoming the rest of Europe with open arms and smiles. expected within a month. But in Ukraine, behind However, Houliston cannot take part in a no-confidence motion – so the welcomes and smiles, the coalition would likely maintain the officials will be hiding a dark secret. its weak grip on power. You see, before all major Only councillors belonging to a political group can participate in a football tournaments the host no-confidence censure, but nation always has what you Houliston was expelled from CLR, might call a ‘spring clean' to leaving him with no group and no the major cities where the vote. There has been much matches are due to be speculation that his expulsion from played. That is natural. The Continued on Page 13 Ukrainians, though, have

Budget KO rocks Orihuela By AMANDA BLACK ORIHUELA council’s budget for 2012 lay in tatters on Monday - leaving the coalition government clinging to power and exposing the Mayor to a confidence vote. The overdue budget failed to be passed after British councillor Bob Houliston voted with opposition PP councillors against it. With 12 PP members and 12 coalition government members, Houliston held the deciding vote. The no vote means the coalition is currently forced to continue governing using the PP budget of 2011. A prolonged continuation of this

state of affairs would dash the government team’s spending aspirations as any investments not adopted during the final year of the PP government would not be allowed. Mayor Monserrate Guillén had previously declared that he would not govern using the PP 2011 budget, so the no vote could have seen the PP and Houliston force him from power along with his government team. But the Mayor and three-party coalition are not throwing in the towel just yet. Instead, Snr Guillén is to face a question of confidence linked to the budget. Houliston will

By PETER SINGH taken their clean-up operation to a sickening level. In a week where Pudsey the dog shared with us all his remarkable brilliance by winning Britain's Got Talent, in Eastern Europe the same species is treated with utter contempt. They have many neglected, abandoned and homeless dogs roaming the

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Friday, May 18, 2012

All together now: ‘I can’t live on a yellow dud machine’ TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003

HORSE POWER Education and not corruption, demand Murcians By SALLY BENGTSSON

Affiliations

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

THOUSANDS of Murcians gathered in the city last Thursday to mark the national student protests. Students, teachers and parents took to the streets to demand an end to education cuts. Protesters marched along Gran Via shouting: “Less corruption, more education.” The cuts in education will mean classes of up to 37 pupils, fewer teachers, no photocopies and minimum school excursions. One teacher even told this newspaper that she was being forced to claim unemployment benefit this summer as she was not being paid during the long holiday.

UK students in 13-hour trek for rescue centre

A GROUP of students from the UK have done their bit to help Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre, by taking part in a 13-hour non-stop walk Cutler said: “We are all really to help raise funds. The equine students from Easton College in Norwich walked the Angles Way – which stretches for about 50 miles between Thetford and Great Yarmouth. They were inspired after hearing about the work that Sue and Rod Weeding and their army of volunteers do at the Centre and seeing photos of the abuse and state of some of the horses they have rescued. Seven girls, all studying Diploma of Horse Management Studies, are taking part but three of them are taking their commitment even further and heading to Spain. Claire Locksmith, Nikita Mason and Emily Purnell are flying here in the summer to volunteer their time and spend two weeks at Easy Horse Care. Their aim is to involve themselves first hand in the work and see how the money they raise is spent. Fellow fundraiser Jess

passionate about horses and our tutor got us in touch with the charity. Once we had all seen the photos of some of the horses we were all very distressed by what we saw.” The students will keep collecting until they finish college next month, when Claire, Nikita and Emily will come to Spain and hand over the money they have raised. Their trip and experiences here will be featured in Pony m a g a z i n e (www.ponymag.com) which carries a prominent article on the centre in its latest edition.

Pilar church’s choral treat NIGEL HOPKINS presents an evening of liturgical music in the beautiful Nuestra Senora de Pilar at Pilar de la Horadada on Sunday May 27. A 24-strong mixed choir will perform a varied programme of works by Mozart, Stainer, Purcell, Hugh Roberton, Walford Davies, John Hilton (1600), Arthur Sullivan, plus excerpts from Karl Jenkins' 'The Armed Man'. Several soloists from 'In Harmony' will also feature. The concert will commence at 8pm (20.00hrs) and is FREE!

Friday Sunny High 27° Low 16° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 25° Low 15° Chance of rain 0%

Horsing about...but the girls endured an exhausting 13-hour trek

Tuesday Sunny High 24° Low 13° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 25° Low 14° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 26° Low 16° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 24° Lo 12° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Sunny High 23° Lo 14° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, May 18, 2012

Come Dine With Me: The search WHEN it comes to making a meal of life in Spain, a dinner party in the Costas is surely THE place to be. Now there’s some food for thought! So it’s no surprise that ITV have decided to take a second look at Brits in Spain for their next Come Dine With Me series. And this time they are targeting local folk from The Courier’s circulation area. Last year’s dabble with the Costa Del Sol crowd left everyone hungry for more action. As the show’s assistant producer Jonathon Hancock says: “On the whole everyone got on, had a great time and just drank way too much.’’ Presumably we’re talking of water there, Jonathon? And of course the show was full of characters. Like John Morton, who had

such little faith in fresh food from Spain that he travelled all the way to Morrisons in Gibraltar to buy his veg and prawns (which were from Indonesia anyway). He also had strawberries flown in from England via his sister. Hancock revealed: “John also didn’t find the funny side of his guests placing a fake finger in his starter. He was so incensed that he threatened to chuck the crew out.’’ Then there was Tony Reddin. “He was 'Mr Showbiz' with loads of showbiz connections, friend of the famous,’’ adds Hancock. “He had a tribute band who looked nothing like any of the original band members.’’ Do you love dinner parties? Are you a great cook? Because the two peak-time

Costa Del Sol 2011: From left: Tony Reddin, Kate Forest, Marilyn Bevins, Ben Knight episodes being recorded next month will feature expats from the Alicante and Benidorm areas. Over four days, four strangers from all walks of life will take turns hosting their idea of the perfect dinner party. At the end of the week the host who impresses the most will win a £1,000 cash prize.

If you have a passion for cooking and a flair for hosting and would like to demonstrate them on screen, then feed an email through to comedinewithme@itv.com or call (0044) 2071574829 now. This is your opportunity to create the perfect dining experience, - and to enjoy three nights eating out as well. Filming will take place next month.

PARK AND PRIDE TORREVIEJA’S Parque de las Naciones will host a special and unique Sunday celebration on June 3 to mark Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee.

Take the Jubilee Line for a FREE fiesta

mence at 4.45pm on Sunday June 3 and the party atmosphere will continue until after Everyone is welcome to join in the fun - dark. Sponsors including the Ayuntamiento of and it’s all FREE! The Street Party in the Park will com- Torrevieja, TKO Radio and The Courier are providing a full sound and lighting system for the host of performers and artists who will take to the stage to provide non-stop entertainment fit for a Queen! Meanwhile, fancy-dress BRITISH Consul, Paul Rodwell has met with Torrevieja hos- parades, family games and pital chiefs in a bid to develop better relations and help for even a ‘Quiz of the Era’ will Britons who need the hospital’s care. The two sides got be on offer at the open-air together because of concerns over the difficulty of providing venue which will be decorated appropriately with red, for elderly or vulnerable Brits with no family in Spain. Mr Rodwell described the meeting as a “first step toward a white and blue bunting. Union Jacks will be availbetter working relationship with the hospital”. But he stressed that the Consulate cannot arrange to get sick patients back able to those who can’t bring to Britain or arrange aftercare, although his staff can some- their own and traditional or fancy dress is optional! times help with contacting family members in the UK. In true ‘street party’ style, The need for an extension of the HELP Vega Baja hospital neighbours are invited to visiting programme was also discussed. Mr Rodwell said: “We hope to be able to assist the hospital bring their own picnic-type and HELP Vega Baja to set up an effective hospital visiting meal, whilst substantially scheme to ensure that vulnerable patients get the help and stocked, reasonably priced support they need whilst in hospital and once they are dis- bars will serve all types of charged.” HELP Vega Baja has long wanted to extend its suitably cold drinks. hospital visiting scheme in Torrevieja. All profit from the bars will go to the local Alzheimer’s’ Association, AFA. Burgers and hot dogs will also be available for purchase and an ice cream van will also be on hand. The party will accommodate more than 1,000 revellers with tables and chairs supplied. A number of local professional artistes have offered their services and various local groups will be offering non-stop entertainment throughout the evening to ensure the party atmosphere continues - all, of course, with an appropriate theme relating to the Queen’s 60 years reign.

Consul in Torry hospital talks

The timetable of entertainment is subject to change as there is so much going on. However, those attending this FREE event can anticipate: Family games: Tug o’ War, Egg & Spoon, Sack race, Fancy dress competition etc. Organised by Rascals. Lions International Costa Blanca supporting AFA (Alzheimer’s Association) with various activities. TKO Radio Roadshow throughout the event. 16.45: The Party starts! Entertainment from Dance Academy & Stage School.

17.00 to 17.30: Footwork Dance Academy. 17.45: Maria O’Hara’s moving tribute to Katherine Jenkins. 18.00: Singer Nick Gold offers a taste of British popular music from years gone by. 18.15: Maurice & Alma with their puppets and a few ‘London Songs’. 18.45: Children’s Fancy dress parade and judging, organised by Rascals. 19.00h: The Phoenix Concert Band offers some well known BRITISH music to sing along to! 19.30h: This is the time set for everyone to enjoy their

picnic together! Tables and chairs for 1,000 partygoers! Form yourselves into ‘teams’ and join in the Quiz of the Era – 40 questions from the past sixty years! (Organised by quizmaster, Arthur). 19.45: Local professional singer, Keely C, offers a handful of popular songs made famous over the years by British female singers. 20.00: Those Crazy Ladies will be going through their ‘crazy’ dance routines! 20.15: Entertainment and songs from the colourful Torrevieja Barbershop Harmonisers. 20.30h: More from the Crazy Ladies. 20.40: TKO Radio Roadshow – Music of the era and dancing for the more energetic! 21.00: Prize Draw and announcement of prizewinners. 21.30h: Phoenix Concert Band offer more British music to sing along and wave flags to, followed by the Grand Finale, in which the band will be joined on stage by the choirs. Join in the emotional singing of Rule Britannia and Land of Hope and Glory finishing up with Crown Imperial accompanied by fireworks!! The TKO Radio Roadshow will provide further music and entertainment until late for those who still have some energy left! Don’t forget, this event is open to everyone and completely FREE. Bring your PICNIC, your neighbours, your friends, your family… and celebrate. See you on June 3 at the Parque de Las Naciones

Latest Issue online at www.thecourier.es

Friday, May 18, 2012

Bored of the rings: An Olympic lament BRITAIN has gone Olympic crazy. Already I'm sick of switching on the television and hearing a day-by-day load of twaddle over the build-up to the Games. The entire Olympic "industry" has become totally a money-wasting exercise, costing an absolute fortune, a financial burden on Britain which it can least afford when the country is in so much debt. I bet the rest of the world sighed with relief when Britain ‘won’ the Games and like idiots agreed to pour the nation's assets down the drain. A comment on the BBC Points of View programme amused me - a viewer claiming that there are 50 million people in the UK who are left completely cold by the Olympics and couldn't care less about it - so why are the news programmes so besotted with it? The biggest joke to date was the unveiling of the horrendous monstrosity called the Orbit, a 377ft looped and twisted tubular steel tower that stands beside the Olympic Stadium. Thankfully, a steel manufacturing company stumped up most (but not all) of the £22.7 million cost. Critics are already describing it as an eyesore, and after its founder said he hoped it would rival the Eiffel Tower in Paris, it's being dubbed Eye-full Tower. Worse, it is going to cost £15 to go up in the lift to the top (£25 during the Games) and critics are already saying that the creators appear to be living in cloud cuckoo land - thinking people are made of money. The plan is to make Orbit the centre-piece of the 560-acre Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, which will include a lush river valley, biking trails and a tree-lined promenade. It is due to open in stages, starting in July 2013 and finishing in early 2014. London Mayor Boris Johnson takes credit for pitching the idea of a tower to steel baron Lakshmi Mittal at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland in 2009. He is a huge fan of the finished product. Well, that speaks volumes, doesn't it! I just hope the London Olympic city does not become the massive white elephant that cast a shadow over past Olympic venues around the world. Those who saw the sorry state of the stadia and sporting complexes in Greece, shown on TV last week, will know what I am on about. AND now on to something which is making me increasingly sad – namely the growing wave of insanity which is infecting the world. Hardly a day goes by without hearing on the news of some appalling mass murder. We've become numbed to it, thanks to the endless killings in Iraq and Syria, where people are dying in their hundreds almost every day. We were horrified by the mass killing of young people by that Norwegian right-wing nutcase. But in the last few days we've been hearing of mothers killing their newly-born children and kids being burned to death in possible arson attacks. There have always been cases of mothers suffering from post-natal depression hurting or killing their babies. But with so many crimes coming almost daily in Britain, could it have something to do with the depressing weather and economic woes back home? People with little or nothing to look forward to, worried about money as well as all the other problems in life, cou-

pled with day after day of dreadful weather, may be tipped over the edge to committing insane acts. If so, greedy bankers and unfit-for-purpose politicians have more blood on their hands. ON the subject of greed comes news of a survey (yes, yet another) which has found that high-street fashion brand clothes in Britain are up to 60 per cent more expensive than in mainland Europe. Spain comes out tops in many examples (as if we didn't know already), but the survey has highlighted the huge differences across Europe. Items have at least a 40% mark-up in the UK so make

sure you stock up in Spain before you venture back to gloomy, wet Britain. Of course, retailers will trot out all the usual reasons why prices are higher in the UK - the cost of living, taxes, rates, salaries etc, etc, but the bottom line is that retailers weigh up how much every country will pay for goods and pitch their prices accordingly. That's why if people don't buy, prices come crashing down - and a good bit of that needs to happen in Britain. Here’s a perfect example of how the EU could create more of a level playing field on prices paid for goods. Standardisation of prices for goods, services, taxes, rates and every other facet of life throughout Europe could have prevented much of the current financial disaster. AND now on to yet another example of British madness. If you are white and stopped by Border Agency staff at an airport, the chances are that they are stopping you to balance out the racial mix. Frightened witless in case anyone can tie a racist label on them, Border Agency staff are deliberately stopping white people for no reason, just so they can demonstrate there is no discrimination. These disturbing facts have been exposed in a report by the chief inspector of the British Border Agency. He found that staff searching for illegal goods at Gatwick Airport selected white passengers to balance the numbers against black and other ethnic minorities they suspected, to help avoid race discrimination complaints. Details of the practice were exposed by John Vine, chief inspector of the UK Border Agency, who said it was unlawful and must stop. The practice is crazy when there are so many complaints of unacceptable queues at passport control. I was most impressed by this comment in a national newspaper on the issue: "This is proof yet again that the biggest fear in the West is not bombs or guns but being called a bad name...racist. "Never before in the history of the world has one word been powerful enough to cause entire nations to lose their collective minds. "The word is not backed by any kind of physical force. There are no cruise missiles or battleships behind it. "Yet our entire culture may go the way of the dodo bird because of it. Historians 1,000 years from now will look at us like the biggest idiots in history." FOR my last example of totally barmy Britain...have pity for motorists at Highbridge, in Somerset, who faced a 47-mile diversion so that a 740-yard stretch of road could be resurfaced. The diversion was in place for a week, with the excuse that it was necessary to avoid weak bridges and other bottlenecks. Memo to Somerset County Council: When you are considering inflicting motorists with such disruption and costing a fortune in fuel, try employing road repair workers all night and at weekends to get the job done as quickly as possible. FINALLY, we were at a Chinese restaurant near Benijofar last week, opposite a garage where a man was vacuuming his car. It was unbearably hot and after all the work he was obviously in great discomfort, so he changed the machine from suck to blow (we hope!) and stuck the hose nozzle down the inside of his shorts! Well, that went down well with our chow mein!

Friday, May 18, 2012

THE Meditation Lodge Retreat at Busot is not your normal type of health spa. But with its tranquil spiritual atmosphere and resident medium, it is a very special experience, as TKO disc jockey RACHEL ANGUS and her friend ANNIE PARKER discovered when we sent them to sample a new experience. This is their verdict...

By RACHEL ANGUS WHEN The Courier asked me to go to the retreat and report back on the experience, my first thoughts were ‘spa and beauty treatments, lounging around in white robes receiving manicures and facials’. I soon realised this was a retreat with a difference. A medium would be there and it was to be a more 'spiritual' experience. We were invited to go along for the Saturday, although it is recommended to go for the entire weekend to get the most benefit. Now this isn't my ‘kind of thing’ so I took along my friend Annie, who had done a lot of readings and Tarot cards. I was very apprehensive and a bit nervous. But we arrived at a lovely location with a fantastic garden and beautiful 'snugg' house. We met Jim, Yvonne and Karen, the retreat leaders - along with around 10 women who had booked in for the whole weekend and seemed to have bonded from the session the night before. (Men can go along too, but this time it was all women). After breakfast, we headed for the bottom of the garden and sat in a circle in the shed. I was amazed by the power of the meditation. Someone had tried to hypnotise me once, but nothing had happened... but this time, we were all in a strong trance. We were taken on a journey where we walked through a rainbow colour, which led to a tree where we hung up our worries... then we walked down a path to a happy, safe place. We stayed in our place for a while, looked in a mirror... then walked back to the tree, where we could pick up our worries again if we wanted. Then we picked a flower as we walked back through the rainbow. BIZARRE! I tried to get myself out of the trance a couple of times because, for me, it was all a bit weird. Each of us told the group where we had been and Jim then explained the significance to events going on in our lives. I realised my problems were very insignificant compared to others in the room. Jim spent a long time on each person and what was said in the room, stayed in the room. All the women all opened up, although for some it was more difficult to 'share'. After a wholesome lunch I went for some reflexology with Yvonne, which I really enjoyed. There are many beauty treatments available and the team at the retreat were extremely friendly and caring. I did learn a thing or two about myself that day. Would I go again? No.... because personally I like to leave the unknown unknown, which is probably something to do with my Christian roots. But if you need some help, the Meditation Lodge has another Open Weekend on May 25-27.

Over the rainbow to inner peace ANNIE PARKER’S Verdict

WHEN I arrived at the Retreat at Busot, which nestles inland from Alicante, a very friendly man called Jim welcomed me, straight away asking me in for a coffee and introduced me to his wife Yvonne, and also Debbie. The Retreat seemed very peaceful and calming and I noticed several ladies round a table, happily chatting away eating their breakfast.These were the ladies with whom I would be sharing my experience today. After breakfast, we were give the timetable of for the day. I had missed the yoga, so walked to the bottom of the garden for meditation and discussion with Jim, Karen and Yvonne. We all sat down in a circle and were told not to break the ring. There was also a spare seat. Jim opened the meditation by asking us to say a little bit about ourselves. In turn we all stood up and did this. Many of the ladies had name badges on, making it a little easier for me to remember their names. Jim’s wife Yvonne started the meditation while, in the background, music played to help us relax. Now I have meditated before, so I understood what would happen, but there was a lot of sadness, loss and pain in this room that had been locked away for years and was now surfacing. I, for one, could feel all this such a lot. After completing our meditation, we were slowly brought out of our trances. Then Jim asked us in turn questions – and explained a little about the hidden meaning behind our experiences whilst in trance. Some of the ladies, including

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Friday, May 18, 2012

A snip at 50c - it’s Eddie and Sue’s bougain basement buy WE haven’t quite managed to find a local bougainvillea to match the 100ft Chinese monster pictured left, which we featured in last week’s Courier. But we have found a somewhat more manageable one that also attracts visitors by the score. Bougainvillea No.2 belongs to Sue and Eddie Fitzsimmons of La Marina urbanisation. Sue told us: “It isn’t half as big this year as we cut it down last year, but everyone around here loves it. “It was planted on my son and daughter-inlaw’s 16th wedding

anniversary, on July 18, 2003. “At one point it went right over the roof, but my husband keeps trimming it and cutting it down. “He used to do the same with my neighbours’ bougainvilleas while they were away in England, but none of the others has grown like ours. “We bought it in Victor’s Garden Centre at La Marina as a very small twig - for only about 50 cents. “We just love it and all the visitors and holidaymakers stand outside the house taking photos of it.’’

SING-SATIONAL!

Lc Zenia calls the tune as choirs unite in church spectacular NEARLY half an hour before the start, the audience was packed in ... every seat was taken.

The new Orihuela Costa Male Voice Choir with director Nigel Hopkins Photo:GUNTHER SCHMIDT

Chairs were being brought in from all over the church buildings to cater for the queues of people eager to hear the two superb choirs taking part in Sunday’s special concert at La Zenia Church. The children's choir, 'Cantemos!' - with ten new members amongst the 26 who took part - were magnificent. Singing in three-part harmony, their beautiful sounds in such songs as Bright Eyes, Sound of Silence, Streets of London brought the audience of 300 to their feet on several occasions. Highlight of their performance was a first ever performance in Spain of the song 'Believe' by UK composer Lin Marsh. Then came the long-awaited first performance of the new, 26-strong Orihuela Costa Male Voice Choir - resplendent in their burgundy shirts with embroidered yellow logo who fair took the roof off the church with their wonderful, rich and mature choral sounds. Amongst their programme were Morte Criste, Priests' Chorus from Magic Flute,

Wanderin' Star, and Stout-Hearted Men from New Moon. The difference between their soft controlled singing and full-blooded crescendos was mesmerising. It was more impressive to learn that the choir was only nine weeks old ... and guaranteed a bright future under conductor Nigel Hopkins’ guidance. In between these choral delights, we heard solos by three members of Cantemos! Hushabye Mountain sung by Holly Neeson, Hello Young Lovers by Jesse Walsh and the highlight of the whole evening, I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables sung by Janelle Gaskell, an amazing singer who Hopkins is grooming for a West End career. The whole concert was brought to a close with both choirs joining forces to sing Hopkins' own arrangement of the song, 'Let There Be Peace On Earth, which culminated in a standing ovation which lasted for several minutes. The concert was in aid of the church building fund, which benefited by more than 1,300 euros from the evening.

- PAULINE CARTER

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? BILLY (below) is five months old. He and his brother were found in a cardboard box on the road. Billy has received his first puppy injection. His brother has been adopted and he is now very lonely - could you give him a loving home? He will repay you double. Eleanor: 677 381 111.

SASHA (above) is a sterilised, three-year-old Spanish Pointer cross. She is the perfect family pet and is great with children. Call Eleanor at Finca la Castellana on 677 381 111.

THESE tiny kittens were saved from certain death and now need to find the loving homes they deserve. They were found on a smallholding where the female ‘mousers’ regularly gave birth to litters that the owner would suffocate in a plastic bag. These three escaped that

death because they were ill so she thought they’d die anyway and save her the bother. Luckily they were rescued and the mother cats are due to be sterilised to put an end to the cycle of killing. These little boys are now being nursed back to health and making great progress. They are already mischievous balls of fun and will soon be ready for new homes. Call 619 637 845.

NEO is urgently seeking a new home. He’s not house trained and no good with kids or other pets, but then he is a Siberian tiger. He was rescued from being destroyed when a wildlife park closed and is now at an emergency shelter in Alicante. We really are looking for a new home for Neo but suspect not too many of you own a wildlife park where he can go. If you do know of a good home for him, then please do get in touch. Otherwise, if you are interested in visiting Neo

and finding out more about the work of the Roal wild animal sanctuary and how you can help, call 648 498 668 or email bluebrigade@funda cionraulmerida.es

To advertise abandoned animals for rehoming, email details and photos to office@thecourier.es

Friday, May 18, 2012

RYANAIR claim to be the world’s most popular airline - but as I tried to extricate the strap of my handbag from my left ear, they hit rock bottom with me. There I was, attempting to pile my hand luggage into a tray for the obligatory security check, when the aforesaid ancient handbag decides to entangle itself in my gold (coloured) earring. A fate worse than deaf. Imagine the embarrassment. Dozens of passengers waiting behind me to tray their goodies along the conveyor belt and this doddery old dimwit (who has already spent two minutes unpacking her computer for separate examination) becomes a right pain in the earhole. Of course, nobody came to my rescue; instead, I could sense the tut-tuts as I struggled to untangle lug from luggage. I swear that had the bottom of my ear been ripped off, they’d have let me bleed to death and put it down to ‘lobal’ warming. Nice start, Ryanair. I’ve always sworn I would never use an airline that mumbles about charging to use the loo and squeezing standing-up passengers on board. But it’s hard to say no to a £32.92 base fare including levies, web check-in, administration fees and whatever. Particularly when you can have priority boarding and a reserved seat in the front row for an extra tenner. So I decided to take the plunge… Safely through the security bit with both ears still intact, the next step was to track down the departure gate for flight FR9072. Gate B34. By the time I had negotiated what seemed like every Gate C from one to 99, the queue for my flight must have been 100 metres long. And there was still an hour before departure. A lone middle-aged couple stood in an adjacent queue marked ‘Priority Boarding’ (under which was the predictable message, in Spanish, that it was raining in Manchester). I was already blessing that extra tenner I paid to be a snob. And my nose turned up even more as the Spanish gate clerk prepared to usher the by now five-strong priority queue through the departure gate. “Put your handbag inside your hand luggage,’’ he ordered me. Anyone who uses Ryanair regularly will be aware that petty rules are God in the skies of Michael O’Leary, I had stupidly assumed they operated this particular piece of pedantry with common sense (i.e. that every woman needs her handbag fully accessible at all times). Additionally, the combination of my 10-kilo hand luggage with my 10-kilos of handbag junk took me way over the stated limit, both in weight and hand-luggage dimensions. Will someone grab my inflated pull-along case as I went through the gate, I wondered. They didn’t. And as we waited for the bus to run us out to the plane, I quietly removed my handbag (on the advice of a Ryanair regular who insisted the coast was now clear. Weird, that – surely the ‘one piece of hand luggage only’ is meant for the flight, not the walk through the terminal?

YOU HAVE MY EAR, OLD BAG!

Life before Ryanair is a real pain

No, we’re talking Ryanair. A tractor drove past pulling a trailer full of luggage, presumably that of our passengers. As it passed the glass doors behind which we were standing, a case fell off onto the tar-

No, we’re talking Ryanair.

mac. The tractor rumbled on, its driver oblivious to the problem - and a female airport worker strolled past with just a cursory glance at it. It was left to our coach driver to pick it up when he finally arrived. Sure enough, a strangled cry of ‘Preeoreet’’ indicated that the five big spenders were to board first – at the back. So the Priority booking system actually works, I thought. Does it, heck. The cheapskate dozens promptly filled the coach up and when we got off a couple of minutes later to board the plane, I might as well have been in The Priory as the Priority queue. By the time I got up the steps, at least 20 people had beaten me to the top – and my only consolation was that I had a front seat. Surely Priority Boarding must operate primarily where it matters – at the point of boarding?

The next two and a half hours were a combination of crew fastidiousness and fascination. Fastidious... the flight attendant who demanded my handbag join my hand luggage in the overhead compartment for both take-off and landing. Fascination...the accent of the senior steward, who sounded like a cross between a Dutchman, a Geordie, a duck of unknown breed and a screaming Dervish. He was, of course, Spanish…and typically loud with it. So loud was his microphone, in fact, that the captain’s one weak attempt to communicate with his passengers was inaudible to virtually everyone. The aforesaid gentleman of mixed nationality – and mixed species, perhaps – may well have been called Mike, such was the over-pitched volume of his squawks. The biggest shock of all came as we headed for northern England and touchdown at Ringway. There was barely any cloud. Since the sign at Gate B34 in Alicante had stated clearly that the weather in Manchester was ‘’Lluvia’’, we had all been expecting a wet welcome. Instead we got the warm rays of the setting sun. But surely they could have brightened our day by telling us of the good weather early in the flight. No, we’re talking Ryanair. I still had to endure that annoying Ryanair jingle telling us that 99 per cent of their flights are on time, or something like that. And they are, aren’t they. No, we’re talking Ryanair. And they can talk punctuality with my granddaughter, whose flight from Manchester was diverted to Valencia on Sunday night after a delayed departure prevented it arriving at Alicante before the 12 midnight cut-off point where the airport shuts down. Of course they were told well in advance that they weren’t going to make it to Alicante, weren’t they? No, we’re talking Ryanair. And buses would be waiting to ferry the weary passengers down to Alicante as soon as they landed, wouldn’t they? No, we’re talking Ryanair. Well, at least they got drinks and a snack during the trip, didn’t they. No, we’re talking Ryanair. And I’m on the same flight back to Spain next weekend.

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Friday, May 18, 2012

REAL LIFE? NO, ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S JUST A PIRATE COPY MY microwave oven blew up on Monday. And as usual during incidents of domestic catastrophe, Mrs S was not a million miles away. Whenever an electrical appliance decides to end its life in our house (and it happens more often than it should), she is usually standing within yards of the explosion and wearing a puzzled expression. 'I reckon that you and electricity just do not get on,' I ventured as I wafted the acrid smoke pouring from the stricken oven. 'Nonsense,' Mrs S countered. 'I reckon it's dodgy whatsits or something.' I sighed. 'Thank you for your technical input. But I still maintain it has something to do with you.' Mrs S shrugged. 'All I know is that whenever I spray cleaning fluid into those holes where the plugs go, there's always a sizzling noise.' 'I just cannot figure out the way Mrs S's mind works,' I observed that evening in the pub. 'That's why I never married,' said Dave the barman. I snorted. 'You never wed because you're an ugly, boring waste of time. And by the way, my psychiatrist told me I don't know how to talk to people.' Our conversation halted for a while as the rest of the pub discussion group trooped in and took up their customary places at the bar. 'I know what I need!' I blurted out. 'Whatever you're drinking I'll have the same,' said my best pal Eric the dentist, who had popped into the pub after another busy day at the orifice. 'No, you misunderstand,' I said. 'I'm not talking about booze. I'm always left confused and confounded after a conversation with Mrs S. What I need is a positive influence to restore clarity and order to my life.' Eric thought for a moment. 'Have you ever considered help from the spirit world?' I glared at my friend. 'I told you I'm not talking about drink!' Eric shook his head. 'I meant someone like a dead ancestor, for instance. You must know of someone in your family tree whose memory you can conjure up to inspire and guide you in situations of acute bewilderment.' Apart from not knowing what the hell Eric was talking about, I decided to give his suggestion a whirl. There was silence in the pub as the other discussion group members watched me think. Eventually, I spoke. 'Nope. There's nobody among my forefathers whom I would consider positive, self-assured, influential and self-confident.' Quietness descended again until . . . 'I know of someone!' shouted Daft Barry, one of the

founder members of our group. 'How would you know any of my ancestors?' I asked. 'And there's no need to raise your hand, Barry. We're not at school.' 'Just hang on a moment,' said Daft Barry, leaping off his stool and out of the pub. We heard his footsteps heading into the theatrical costumier premises next door. Minutes later he was back. Daft Barry was wearing a tan 18th Century coat with a red glitter trim, a dark-gold taffeta long waistcoat, black breeches, sable socks, raven satin sash and a cracked leather over-theshoulder belt. On his head was plonked a sombre tricorn hat with feathers. To complete the strange spectacle, he held a wooden crutch under one arm and a plastic parrot was taped to his shoulder. Daft Barry let out an insane cackle and declared. 'Ah-har, mateys! Them that die will be the lucky ones! Fire that musket and I cuts his throat!' T h e members of the pub discussion group -plus a handful of curious passers-by who had followed Daft Barry in from the street -stared at him for several long moments. 'Don't you get who I am?' he begged forlornly. We shook our heads. 'I'm Long John Silver,' he announced. 'So?' I yawned indifferently. 'Is

that supposed to mean something?' 'But . . . but . . . he's your famous ancestor.' 'I don't think so,' I said dismissively. 'Long John Silver is a fictional character. How could he be my forefather when he never even existed?' Another silence. And then perhaps the least animated fellow in the pub discussion group, Ol' Red Eyes, awoke from his slumber and mumbled: 'I know a reallife successful member of the Silver family.' We turned to him and waited for more but Ol' Red Eyes had gone back to sleep again. 'I'd better get the Long John costume back to the shop before they notice it's missing,' said a despondent Daft Barry and he and the plastic parrot left the pub. 'Somebody give Ol' Red Eyes a nudge,' I requested. 'You never know. He might be onto something.' Dave the barman waved some smelling salts under the slumberer's nose and he awoke with a startled start. 'Nicholas Silver,' mumbled Ol' Red Eyes before returning to his semi-comatose state. 'He's right, you know!' shouted Eric the dentist. 'Nicholas Silver was the famous big grey nag who won the Grand National back in 1961.' 'Whoa!' I said, pulling on imaginary reins. 'I don't care how fast he was. I refuse to be related to a horse. And he couldn't have been an ancestor anyway. I was born first. Nicholas Silver came after me.' 'Came after you?' repeated a puzzled Ol' Red Eyes, lifting his head from his chest. He pointed a quivering finger in my general direction. 'Are you claiming it was YOU and not a horse who won the 1961 Grand National?' Daft Barry, who had by now slunk back from the costume shop, attempted to regain favour after his flop dramatic performance. 'I heard someone mention Nicholas Silver while I was next door sliding my crutch back onto the shelf. Well, I for one remember that horse very well. His jockey always wore a mask.' 'Afraid not, Barry,' said Dave the barman. 'You're thinking of Silver, the Lone Ranger's horse. He raced in old Arizona, not at modern Aintree.' And so another day was drawing to a close. I decided to go home and rewire a few electrical plugs. 'Goodnight, everybody,' I said and exited the saloon door. 'Hi-Ho, Silver! Away!' I cried into the night - and galloped all the way back to my house.

Friday, May 18, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH SAY IT IN SPANISH 20 HELLO again and welcome to lesson 20, I don´t know about you but the past five months have flown by for me. I´ve enjoyed sharing this journey with you into the fantastic language of Spanish and I look forward to sharing many more weeks expanding your knowledge, revising my knowledge, because we all need a bit of revisión. I hope that I am helping you realise that learning Spanish should be fun, and that, once incorporated into your daily life, can give you such a sense of achievement and satisfaction that you want to carry on and improve. Before we go on with this weeks lesson let’s remind ourselves of last weeks questions and answers: Are there dogs in the street? - ¿Hay perros en el calle?, How many books are in the library? - ¿cuántos libros hay en la biblioteca?, I have to go – Tengo que ir, Today is Friday – Hoy es viernes, I have 20 cats – Tengo veinte gatos, Let´s go home – Vamos a casa. Have you got a red car? - ¿Tienes un coche rojo?, I am from England – Soy de Inglaterra, Are you coming to the party? - ¿Vienes a la fiesta?, You are happy – Estás feliz, Where are you going? - ¿A donde vas? I have to go to the shops – Tengo que ir a las tiendas. How many books have you got? - ¿Cuántos libros tienes? They are my family – Son mi familia. London is in England – Londres está en Inglaterra. In summer I go to the beach – En verano voy a la playa. I am 45 years old – Tengo cuarenta y cinco años. I am going to eat – Voy a comer. They have to read – Tienen que leer. Tomorrow morning I am going to go – Mañana por la mañana voy a ir. I have some books – Tengo unos libros. We are going to walk – Vamos a andar (caminar). Who has the chairs? ¿Quién tiene las sillas? We are coming – Nosotros venimos,.John is going to the beach - Juan va a la playa. In April I am going to England – En abril voy a Inglaterra. Today we are carrying on with verbs, you already have a good list of regular verbs and so I am going to give you

another irregular one. It is another one which is used regularly and needs to be learnt and remembered. It is an easy one to use daily using one or more of the following phrases I am going to give you. The verb we are learning this week is one that means two different things and so has to be used in context of what is being said with it. The verb is HACER and it means TO MAKE or TO DO. It seemed strange to me that there could be one verb that means two completely different things but once you get used to it you will soon learn to put it, and understand it, in context. Here is the table to conjugate the verb:

Probably the most usual use you will find for this verb is to ask what someone is doing. So if you want to say ´What are you doing?´ you say ´¿Qué haces?´ Qué, of course means ´what´ and haces means ýou do´ or ýou are doing´. There is another way to say doing which we will get to when we learn íng´ endings, however ´haces´ is commonly

used. Other examples of using HACER are ´¿Qué haces cuando vas a la playa?´ - what do you do when you go to the beach? ‘Hago mucho trabajo´ - I do a lot of work, POINT TO REMEMBER: When you are asking a question in English the word order changes; example, ´What you are doing´ becomes ´What are you doing?´ However, in Spanish, the word order stays the same. ´Que haces´ remains ´¿Qué haces?´ remembering to add the accent and question marks when writing it as a question. Another use for HACER is when talking about describing the weather, it is used as well as ESTAR in the third person singular only in this context as the subject is ´it´. The following phrases must be memorised as they cannot be mixed; that is for the phrases that use HACER you can only use HACER and those that use ESTAR have to use ESTAR. If you use the wrong verb the phrase will not make sense. Your homework this week is to memorise the following and your homework next week will be to check your knowledge with a short test.

Friday, May 18, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

THEY DID NOT NEED TO DIE! From Page One

streets and the Ukrainian Government chose not to deal with the problem responsibly, which would be to spay and neuter the dogs and set up a benevolent rehoming programme. Instead, they decided to shoot, poison and in some cases burn the dogs alive! The Union of European Football Associations (UEFA) has become involved and criticised Ukraine’s authorities for the mass killings, along with offering money to rescue centres for spay and neutering initiatives to begin. As you read this, the Ukrainian government is trying to hide all of this from the rest of the world as the killings go on. In the cities a cremation truck patrols the streets and any stray dogs they come across are shot or anaesthetised and thrown directly into the vehicle to burn. The authorities are now well aware of the negative publicity they have attracted, but instead of putting their ego to one side and admitting to their major error, they are now applying force on animal activists to halt the Unable to release his body from the bag he has been tied into, this International protest. I am not easily shocked. trapped dog is about to be thrown into a cremation truck along with I have witnessed many unsavoury things, but the actions of these depraved individuals have many others. The savage massacre in Lysychansk was part of the shocked me to the core. To treat the best friend humankind will ever know in this horrific way is Ukrainian city’s clean-up campaign before Euro 2012

And still no end to the carnage

DOGS are STILL being slaughtered in Ukraine ahead of Euro 2012 - many months after the horrific cruelty was first exposed. According to The People, dead strays - many of them puppies - are piled up in the bins and streets of Donetsk - where tens of thousands of England football fans will descend in a month’s time. Some of the dogs, crippled by poison, have even been dumped alive and left to die in the trash. Campaigners say around 7,000 a month are being shot, poisoned or hanged in the city alone as part of the clean-up ahead of this summer's showpiece tournament. Last October it was reported how up to 50,000 dogs have been killed since Ukraine won the right to co-host Euro 2012 five years ago. Ukrainian officials, Euro MPs and animal charities all called for

its city mayors to end the killings in the wake of our probe. But the cruelty is continuing as campaigners from animal charity PETA discovered on a visit to Donetsk last month. PETA's Ben Williamson told The People: "These photos may be harrowing and Ukraine wants them hidden - but they should be seen due to the sheer cruelty involved. "While the country is spending hundreds of millions of Euros building shiny new stadiums, the dogs are paying the ultimate price for this cruel country to host Euro 2012. "We urge football fans to register their disgust and help us end the massacre, which is tainting a beautiful game with the blood of thousands of innocent animals."

It is believed 7,000 dogs are slaughtered in Donetsk every month by "street cleaning squads". Animals not immediately killed are taken to ramshackle enclosures where they languish in sub-zero conditions. The slaughter has been condemned by a string of soccer's biggest names, including England's 1996 World Cup winner Martin Peters. He said: "It's shameful the mass killing is being done in the name of football." Ukraine has been hit with a string of controversies since it was selected as a co-host with Poland in 2007. In January The People told how 130,000 street children are living in derelict buildings, holes in walls and underground pipes.

a disturbing reflection of how evil the world around us has become - and all in the name of a football tournament. I plead with anyone who reads this to please sign a petition set up by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) at www.peta.org/euro2012 A video which reflects the horrors I describe here, shows how life carries on as normal in Ukraine - cars driving along the road with dead dogs lying in the gutter, their froth-covered mouths still showing the effects of being poisoned. The mother who pushes her child in a swing as a dog lies dead just yards away. The pit which shows dead puppies lying on top of each other in a mass heap. I’m sorry but whatever way you look at this, it is not normal behaviour for a nation to just sit back and accept and watch this happen. In my humble opinion it was an error to give such a huge football tournament to nations such as these, nations which are not the most proactive and forward thinking of European neighbours. They have a huge far-right hooligan element and Sky Sports News has warned supporters of Black and Asian origin to take extra care if travelling to the tournament. Markiyan Lubkivskyi, Ukraine’s Euro 2012 Tournament Director, is quoted as saying: “We are preparing big football holiday, big football festival”. What he does not mention is HOW they prepared for it. To slaughter the most affectionate and sociable species on earth for the egotistical reasons of how other nations will perceive your country is a profound mistake. As the late great Mahatma Gandhi once said: “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Orihuela: What happens next? From Page One CLR was engineered precisely to prevent him holding the deciding vote if a no-confidence motion was forced. With Houliston barred, the PP would not be able to raise the 13 signatories needed for the no-confidence motion and the budget will finally gain automatic approval, after public consultation, in July. Houliston has faced a barrage of criticism for siding with the PP after standing on an anti-PP ticket in the election that saw him gain his seat. But the councillor defended his position as voting against the budget rather than with the PP. He criticised the proposed budget spending increase of nearly €1 million at a time when

government and town halls everywhere are cutting back. In a press statement, his party, CLARO, claimed the budget simply did not balance and that the increase was only being made because the three parties in government could not agree how to share resources between themselves. And it said that while expenditure was increasing, revenue wasn’t – leaving too little money for investment. Houliston also slammed coalition plans to sell off coastal land to raise money, describing the move as “totally unacceptable”. He said the money from the sale was earmarked for investment when investment funds should be found through economies and a reduction of expenditure.

He argued that to sell land now when prices were depressed did not make good financial sense. And he pointed out that the mayor’s own Green party and PSOE – also in the governing team – had fiercely opposed the sale of land when the idea was previously touted by the former PP government. CLARO rubbished claims by the coalition that €750,000 was earmarked for coastal investment in the budget, saying that amount included paying back the €500,000 taken from the coastal budget last year to meet emergency expenses. This meant the coastal investment pot was really only €350,000. CLARO stressed that whatever happens next in the saga of Orihuela politics, it will continue to support the interests of the coast.

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Friday, May 18, 2012

When there’s no work.. AS A single woman here in Spain, I have been reminded recently about another group of people, mainly women, who are here on their own or with children - but whose partners are working away. It has always been difficult to find work here and especially so during the current economic climate. A lot of partners are having to go to other countries to make a living, but the other half wants or has to stay and so becomes the mum and dad to the little ones for the majority of the time. I have known a few people in this situation. For example, when I first came to Spain I met a woman with two children whose partner worked in the UK because the money here wasn´t as good in his chosen profession and there wasn´t much work here. So she would raise the children most of the time and then, when he came back, they would have a few weeks as a family until he had to leave again. I often wondered how she was feeling. When asked, she would tell me, of course, that she missed him and how hard it was with the children and how she wanted to find work but with the school hours here that would be very difficult. With all that she said she did like it here.

However, there was always a sense of sadness around her; indeed she ended up selling her property here, moving back to the UK in the short term and is now living in Australia with her family back together. In fact they welcomed a new arrival just before Christmas. Things aren´t easy for her now, but at least she is with her husband and she has the support and the company, as does he. I know a few other people whose hus-

bands or wives work away, and whilst appreciating that they have to be in another country most of the time, they all miss their partners terribly but not enough to go back and live with them. This is one stance I firmly understand. This country is infinitely better for raising children than, in my opinion, the cold, dangerous, out of control UK. It is also better for us adults, as the nice weather and relaxed lifestyles assist us in raising our children and to have a good life ourselves - outdoors mostly with lots of fresh food and drink. Those with or without children find they have more energy and want to be out and about more here in the nice weather and relaxing surroundings of Spain. Before Christmas, I ran into one of my son’s school friends with his dad in a park near where I live and we got chatting. The father is from Eastern Europe, as is his partner, and he was having to go back to his homeland to work over the holiday period as there was nothing here for him. He hated the idea and knew he would miss his son - but

he also knew that there was no other choice if he was to provide for his family. I saw him again recently back at the school picking up his son… with a big smile on his face. No doubt it won´t be long before he has to go back again - but he seemed determined to enjoy this time in Spain. This situation was almost unheard of when I lived in the UK. At least, I certainly didn´t know anyone to whom it applied. It only appeared to be people working on oil rigs or in the forces or in big business that had to travel for work; certainly not the local plumber or electrician. I guess this shows that the job situation here is limited for those with little knowledge of the language and culture and although living expenses are lower here, the wages are also less, with people finding they can´t meet their monthly payments on Spanish wages - if indeed they can find a job. So, while it is difficult for those partners left here, raising children, or just enjoying the weather, it must be equally hard for the partner working away so that the dream may continue. Given the choice of being here with my son or going back to work in the UK, I know which one I´d choose. Then again, I`ve already chosen it.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Hague posh lash is hard to Tyke THERE was a strange whiff from Foreign Secretary William Hague this week of Norman Tebbit’s mid-80s advice to the unemployed to get on their bikes and look for work. Bluff Yorkshireman Hague suggested that business leaders should stop moaning and groaning, and instead work harder to create wealth. It was all a planned attack courtesy of the Downing Street spin department, who thought the comprehensiveeducated schoolboy would be a better bet to hit home with the message, as opposed to the posh public school duo of David Cameron and George Osborne. But the whole point has been missed in this silly attack, as the main stumbling block to UK economic growth seems to be the inability of the banks to lend. All rather strange, especially since the taxpayer has high stakes in some of them. I smell an easy target here of blaming businesses for government policy failures, rather than giving them the tools to do their job in the first place. Call me cynical, but the timing of President

Obama’s comments supporting same-sex marriage had this November’s election all about it – it was a cheap way of pleasing his liberal grass-root supporters. And by sheer coincidence, we got a tale from the mid60s about the student days of his Republican opponent Mitt Romney’s suggested involvement as a teenager in leading a gang of bullies against a gay student. Really? Such tricks and revelations in American politics are as common as slipping an ace from the bottom of a deck of cards.

The election will all be about one issue anyway, and that’s the economy. Laudable as Obama’s declaration might be, I can’t see it exactly hitting the middle of the target with the biblebashers of the Deep South! Meanwhile, Romney missed a PR trick by not offering an apology if he was involved in teenage bullying, and by suffering from a terrible case of amnesia in not recalling the incident. Gay marriage has popped up as an issue in UK politics as well, with David Cameron showing off his

touchy-feely side by saying a few months ago that it ought to happen in Britain. Cue the voices of dissent, and the PM has been quietly backtracking. Defence Secretary Philip Hammond said at the weekend that same-sex unions were not a priority for the Government, and in fact there wasn’t even a Bill introduced in the Queen’s Speech. This is all a blatant piece of running away, and it just doesn’t wash. Perhaps Mr. Cameron shouldn’t have bothered opening his mouth about this issue in the first place. Don’t you find it funny watching all those former Murdoch newspaper executives telling the Leveson inquiry they didn’t really have that much influence over politicians and were never really listened to? These were the same people that before certain things were rumbled, would shout about the power they wielded with the politicians to anybody who cared to listen. I’d rather spend a week eating cow dung as opposed to sticking my neck above the parapet on the issue of local Spanish politics. But for once, I’m feeling

brave this week. The fun and games and corruption makes the UK local councils seem almost soporific, but at least they share the common bond of making sure that the voters just end up believing nobody. Take the farce over the Orihuela council, and the Orihuela Costa councillor, Bob Houliston. It’s been a gift for my Editor, having to sift through stacks of letters about the matter over recent months. But as a completely neutral non-Orihuela Costa resident, I’m frankly none the wiser. It’s classic “He said….He said” stuff between Houliston and his former CLR alliance colleague, Pedro Mancebo, over who promised what, who knifed

who, and who interfered or back-tracked where. There’s also the tasty knife-edge majority of just one vote in favour of the grand anti-PP coalition, which could break down if Mr. Houliston decides to break violent wind in another direction. Perhaps a call to London to the fluent Spanishspeaking Nick Clegg, might be in order to find out how to keep an uneasy alliance alive and kicking? Political history shows that just hating a political opponent (be it a party or individual), doesn’t necessarily make for a good administration, especially with another three years left before the next election. No wonder we all like Boris Johnson. The Mayor of London does put his foot into things big time when he chooses to. This week he suggested the new Director General of the BBC should be a Conservative. Excuse me Boris, but shouldn’t the BBC boss be politically neutral?

Friday, May 18, 2012

THE SPANISH PRESS

PROTEST PASSION COOLING DOWN

El País

THE 15-M movement returned to Spain’s streets over the weekend, a year after the protest initiative led to mass rallies in cities across the world. On this occasion, however, the number of participants was considerably lower and the authorities’ reaction swift and unambiguous. Some 2,500 people ended a day of meetings and discussions with a ‘silent scream’ and promised to return on Monday to protest the arrests of 18 demonstrators overnight on Saturday when the police moved in to dislodge the masses. The main focal points of the open debates were government cuts in healthcare and education, nuclear disarmament, the right of women to choose to abort and the rise in VAT. Videos of police action against protesters circulated via the internet but in truth the social network sites were more ablaze than Spain’s streets. By Sunday, the number of people returning to the capital’s Sol square had fallen to around 350. Nine of the 18 arrested face charges of resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer and public disobedience, offenses that can carry a sentence of between two and four years. They were released on bail on Monday. The other nine were released without charges on Sunday. Witnesses say that the police meted out beatings even to people who complied with their orders to leave. When the eviction was carried out there were some 200 people left in the square. The 15-M movement’s legal commission plans to make a formal complaint about the police, who the protesters say removed their identification badges. The detainees released on Monday, six of whom had previous arrests on their records, told reporters that one of their number, a woman, had been beaten at the Moratalaz police station. Another said that he had voluntarily left Sol and was arrested in a nearby square. The heavy police presence also oversaw the movement’s public debates, at which megaphones were prohibited. The opposition accused the government of over-reacting to the threat posed by the latest wave of protests.

Movement that inspired the world is much smaller now

HIV fears as illegals lose the right to health care El País

ILLEGAL immigrants who require medical assistance will have to rely on charities such as the Red Cross from now on. That was the solution proposed by Health Minister Ana Mato and the ruling Popular Party's health spokesman, José Ignacio Echániz, shortly after announcing that foreigners without residency papers will no longer have access to free state health care and prescription medicines. “They will continue to receive medical treatment,” insisted Mato in statements to the state radio station RNE. “Health services are guaranteed because we all hold that right; the royal decree does not change the current legislation and therefore the General Health Law, which talks about the universal right to healthcare, remains applicable 100 per cent. All regional governments are planning to reach agreements with organisations that assist immigrants outside the system, so they La Verdad can also receive primary care an especially delicate assistance.” But Mato and Echániz did moment for the film studios, which is immersed in not clear up what will happen a string of legal proce- to people who require HIV dures and is facing debts medication, which is only available at hospitals. of over 190 million euros. The firm chosen to run Neither health spokesperthe studios when they sons nor Popular Party opened in 2005, sources were able to explain Aguamarga Gestión de how this might be handled. Antiviral drugs (which have Estudios, began bankruptcy proceedings in a price tag of around 8,000 December 2011 due to, euros a year in their simplest among other things, non- combination) can only be payment to the Valencia obtained from hospital pharmacies. Even if someone regional government. The Generalitat is now has the means to pay, they considering selling or rent- cannot be bought elsewhere. The announcement has ing the complex, but sources say the decision drawn criticism from HIV supcomplicates a sale as the port groups. On Wednesday, price now cannot be lower over 300 organisations than the 265 million it has protested simultaneously in seven cities over the cuts. to give back.

A dark day for City of Light film studio

e ik tr s m o fr y a w a y ta s ts Studen

Valencia. d in both Barcelona and revealed student union hundre per ed spa join new ts den zon Ra stu La 300 Last week AROUND in tion the stuuca Ed ind of beh y s istr der Min lea leaders outside the the CVs of the union a in s cut ssional ofe ion “pr cat as edu t most Madrid to protest agains dent strike, describing e left-wing day. urs rem Th ext t las ed ion ous act esp of o dents” wh student day been planned, the stu rxist policies, with many having been Although a march had or Ma ed ain rem ts on police. den stu in brawls and attacks low turnout meant the to student involved acio Wert, en Ign list é to y Jos r, istr iste min Education Min outside of the about the ng" "lyi d the unions of union leaders. ted in Malaga, accuse tes pro s. ple cut peo ion 00 cat 1,0 Around scope of edu in Cadiz and several 800 in Granada, 500

THE European Commission has ruled that subsidies given to the Ciudad de Luz film studio by the Valencian government were illegal. And the payment of 265 million euros must be returned to Valencia within four months. The resolution by the European head of Competition Policy, Spaniard Joaquín Almunia, states the financing “enormously distorts competition between the main studios of European cinema”. Regional premier Alberto Fabra (pictured) said he would appeal the decision over a 2007 complaint to the European Court of Justice by two audio-visual companies from member states. The resolution comes at

Friday, May 18, 2012

Queen Sofia cancels Trip over Gibraltar SPAIN'S Queen Sofia on Wednesday cancelled the trip to London she had planned for later this week for Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee because the Spanish government feels that it would be "unsuitable" after the fishing conflict with Gibraltar and the announced visit to The Rock by Britain's Prince Edward. The queen's attendance at a luncheon scheduled within the framework of celebrations surrounding the 60th anniversary of Elizabeth II's ascent to the British throne was cancelled because "under the current circumstances" the Spanish government feels that it would be "unsuitable" for her to participate in the event, spokesmen for the Royal Palace said. The same sources said that the Royal Palace informed the British Royal Palace on Wednesday afternoon that Queen Sofia will not attend the Friday luncheon offered by Elizabeth and her husband, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, at Windsor Castle, without specifying the reasons for her absence. Diplomatic officials told Efe that the conflict that arose after the breakdown in negotiations on Tuesday between Spanish fishermen and the government of Gibraltar to try and resolve the fishing blockade in the Bay of Algeciras was the impetus that motivated the Spanish government to advise the Royal Palace of the cancellation of the trip. The conflict comes after the scheduling of the June 11-13 visit to The Rock by Elizabeth's youngest son and her husband. In addition, there is a third difficulty: namely, at the events commemorating Elizabeth's 60th anniversary on the British throne the band from the British Gibraltar regiment has

been scheduled to play. Thirty-one years ago, the controversy over sovereignty of Gibraltar led the Spanish monarchs to cancel their attendance at the wedding of Britain's heir to the throne, Prince Charles, and Lady Diana. In 1981, Charles and Diana's decision to make a stop in Gibraltar during their honeymoon on the yacht Britannia led the Spanish king and queen to decline the invitation to the wedding. Since that time, various members of the British royal family have visited the colony on Spain's southern coast and sparked protests by the Spanish government. The latest royal visit to The Rock was by Princess Anne, Edward's sister, in 2009 to inaugurate a military medical center. Then, the visit was characterized by the Spanish Foreign Ministry as "untimely" and Minister Miguel Angel Moratinos communicated to his British counterpart, David Miliband, "the rejection, consternation and indignation of the (Spanish) government." Prince Edward visited Gibraltar in 2001 to present several Duke of Edinburgh's Awards to young Gibraltar residents. On that occasion, Spanish Foreign Minister Josep Pique told the British Embassy in Madrid of Spain's "displeasure" and "discomfort" regarding the visit. No official protest was made, however, because he said - the trip was not an official one and had no political content. On May 8, the Spanish Foreign Ministry summoned British Ambassador Giles Paxman to communicate its "disgust and unease" over Prince Edward's visit to Gibraltar in June.

THE Spanish government has rejected a request from the Basque militant group Eta for talks, seven months into its truce, and called on it to disband. The separatist group had sent a message to the AFP news agency announcing it had set up a team to conduct a "direct dialogue" with Spain and France. Eta called for a "definitive solution" to the "ongoing conflict". But Interior Minister Jorge Fernandez Diaz said Spain would never negotiate with the group. Eta's campaign of shooting and bombing lasted more than 40 years and left some 830 people dead. In recent years, it suffered major reverses with the arrest of key members in Spain and France. When it announced a "definitive end" to its armed campaign on 20 October, some 700 Eta members remained in prison.

The statement sent to AFP, and addressed to "the European community", said Eta had "named a delegation to embark upon a direct dialogue with the governments of France and Spain". "The European community and all European institutions face the challenge of supporting and promoting an open process aimed at finding a definitive solution to an ongoing conflict in the heart of Europe," it added. Earlier this month, an independent monitoring group, the International Verification Commission, issued a report concluding that Eta was abiding by its ceasefire and was ready for dialogue. Mr Fernandez Diaz told parliament in Madrid that the "only communication" expected of Eta was an announcement of its unconditional disbandment. "There is no need for a dialogue to hand over weapons," the interior minister said.

SPAIN REJECTS ETA TALKS REQUEST

Friday, May 18, 2012

Healthy summer soups Looking for a healthy lunch or light dinner? These super soup recipes are low fat, low calorie and full of flavour. BROCCOLI AND PASTA SOUP This healthy broccoli and pasta soup produces a wonderful broth. It's low in calories, full of flavour, and very cheap to make – a recipe that won't hurt your waistline or your wallet.

Ingredients

1. 3 tbsp. olive oil 2. 2 garlic cloves, chopped 3. 2 red onions, finely diced 4. 2 sticks celery, finely diced 5. 1 carrot, finely diced 6. 400g can peeled plum tomatoes 7. 1 tbsp. tomato purée 8. 2 tbsp. red wine vinegar 9. 1 tsp. sugar 10. 1.3 litres vegetable stock, hot 11. 500g broccoli, cut into florets, or use purple sprouting broccoli or kale 12. 75g macaroni or other small pasta 13. Bunch of fresh whole basil leaves 14. Grated vegetarian Parmesan and extra-virgin olive oil, to serve

Method

1. Heat the oil in a large pan over a low heat. Add the gar-

lic, onions, celery and carrot. Stir in 1/2 teaspoon salt, cover and sweat down for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. 2. Squish the tomatoes in a colander so that you have a pulp and no juices. Add to the pot with the tomato purée, vinegar, sugar, stock and broccoli. Bring to a simmer and cook gently, covered, for 30 minutes. 3. Meanwhile, cook the pasta according to packet instructions. Drain and stir into the soup along with the basil. Season to taste. 4. Divide between bowls. Put the Parmesan and olive oil on the table so that people can help themselves.

CHICKEN, PASTA, BUTTER BEAN RAMEN This deliciously healthy recipe makes an easy Asian-style soup for two in just 15 minutes.

Ingredients

1. 600ml chicken stock, hot 2. 2 skinless chicken breasts, sliced 3. 75g dried spaghetti, broken into short lengths 4. 410g can butter beans, drained and rinsed 5. Good handful of halved cherry tomatoes 6. 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely sliced

7. Handful of chopped fresh parsley

Method

1. Pour the stock into a large saucepan. Bring to the boil over a medium heat, and then add the chicken breasts and spaghetti. Simmer, partially covered, for 5 minutes. 2. Stir in the butter beans, tomatoes and chilli. Cook for 23 minutes, until the chicken and spaghetti are cooked. 3. Season and stir in the parsley. Divide between deep bowls and serve with crusty bread.

SPICED MISO AND DUMPLING SOUP Using ready-made dumplings turns this Japanese miso noodle soup recipe into a quick, filling and healthy supper.

Ingredients

1. 1 litre good-quality fresh chicken or vegetable stock 2. 3cm piece fresh ginger, sliced into thin matchsticks 3. 3 tbsp. miso paste 4. 115g pack dim sum dumplings 5. 300g pack mixed stirfry vegetables 6. 1 red chilli, thinly sliced 7. 160g dried udon noodles 8. 2 spring onions, shredded

Friday, May 18, 2012

Method 1. Place the chicken stock and ginger in a saucepan and bring to the boil. Whisk in the miso paste, then add the dumplings and simmer for 3 minutes. 2. Add the stir-fry vegetables and chilli and simmer for a further 2 minutes until just tender. 3. Meanwhile, cook the noodles in a separate pan of boiling water for 6 minutes or according to the pack instructions, then drain and divide between 2 bowls. 4. Pour the soup and dumplings over the noodles and top with the shredded spring onion. Serve with soy sauce and lime wedges, if you like.

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP Chicken noodle soup is one of our Top 10 comfort foods and its low-cal. Because it can be frozen, it's a meal-in-one you can take out of the freezer and reheat in minutes.

Ingredients

1. 1.5kg whole chicken 2. 4 carrots 3. 3 celery sticks 4. 3 onions 5. 2 bay leaves 6. 1 tbsp. vegetable oil 7. 1 leek, sliced 8. 1 garlic clove, chopped 9. 100g dried egg noodles 10. 2cm piece fresh ginger, grated 11. Chopped fresh parsley leaves and spring onions, to serve

Method

1. Put the chicken in a large pan with 2 carrots and 2 celery sticks, all r o u g h l y chopped, 2 onions, quartered, and the bay leaves. Add about 2.5 litres water, to cover the chicken and veg. Bring to the boil, skim off any fat and simmer for 1 hour. Remove the chicken and strain the stock, discarding the solids. 2. Heat the oil in a large pan over a medium heat. Add the leek, garlic and remaining carrots, cut into cubes, and the remaining onion and celery stick, both finely chopped. Cook for 5 minutes, until tender. Add 2 litres of the strained broth and bring to the boil, then reduce the heat to low and simmer gently for 10 minutes. 3. Meanwhile, remove the skin and strip the meat from the chicken. Tear the meat into bite-size pieces and add to the soup. Remove from the heat and cool complete-

ly. Ladle into sturdy freezer bags or rigid containers and freeze for up to 2 months. 4. Defrost, and then reheat until piping hot. Add the noodles and ginger and simmer for 4-5 minutes, until the noodles are tender. Season and garnish with the parsley and spring onions.

PEA, LETTUCE AND TARRAGON SOUP A refreshing soup recipe using plenty of greens to create a vibrant colour and memorable flavour.

Ingredients 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

40g butter 6 spring onions, trimmed and sliced 675g freshly-shelled or frozen peas Leaves from 4 fresh tarragon sprigs 225g romaine lettuce, finely shredded 1 litre fresh vegetable stock, hot 2 tbsp crème fraîche Watercress sprigs, to garnish (optional)

Method

1. Melt the butter in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Stir in three-quarters of the peas, half the tarragon and all the lettuce. Cook for 1 minute. Add the stock, bring to the boil, cover and simmer for 8-10 minutes if the peas are fresh, 5 minutes if frozen, or until tender. 2. Whizz the soup in a blender with the remaining tarragon, until smooth. Pass through a fine sieve into a clean saucepan. Stir in the rest of the peas and simmer gently for 4-5 minutes or until the peas are just tender. Season to taste. 3. Divide the soup between bowls, swirl the crème fraîche into each soup and garnish with watercress sprigs, if you like. Serve with crusty fresh bread on the side.

Diamante’s Talent Search 2012

We knew that 2012 was going to be a special year for talent but even We are surprised at just how phenomenal that talent is. The competition at D i a m a n t e ’ s Restaurant is half way through the weekly heats and already some amazing talent has been discovered. Right from week one when a young 5 year old danced her way to people’s hearts with a dance routine that she made up herself, then 10year old Gracie from Leicester who sang like an angel, then came 16 year old Emily Kemp who enthralled everyone with a song that she sang acapelo because the music could not be found for her song choice and it was pure magic. Also through to the Finals are two Spanish singers, a

gorgeous 19 year old who wowed the Ladies with his rendition of an Elvis song complete with all the gyrating moves on the stage then a complete contrast sang an operatic song which showed us all that he most definitely was the complete package. The WINNER will receive a day in a recording studio making their own CD which will be played on Local

Radio. A PA system so the winner can set up their own Business entertaining with their own equipment, TV coverage plus there are many more prizes on offer for the last 5 finalists. Diamante’s restaurant El Mojón, Pilar de la Horadada is a fabulous venue to perform in with its own stage and sound effects, they are still searching for the STARS of the future so if you think

that you have THE VOICE or THE TALENT call to register and enter the competition. Every week there will be one of our local entertaining stars comparing and singing, Appearing so far has been Suzy G, Jodie Stirling, Nick Barker plus guest appearances by Paul Christie and the one and only Mr Paul Allen. Plus there will be a few guest surprises that will be judging the competition. If you just want to go and be entertained and have a fabulous meal with your friends and family just call to book a table on 965 352 947 plus a chance to just sing Karaoke at the end of the competition. This is going to be an all Singing all Dancing Gala Spectacular of the year. We want you to be part of it.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Finding the Right Personal Trainer A personal trainer can be your ticket to a great body and your motivation to get going, but the wrong trainer could also be the complete opposite. While a good personal trainer will help you reach your goals, there is always the possibility of finding a personal trainer that cares nothing more than getting their hands deep into your pockets. Here are a few easy ways to help you choose the right personal trainer:

Make sure they have a qualification: Remember that exercise is a science and for this reason, especially considering you’re paying for the goods, make sure you get a personal trainer who is qualified. This could be a certificate, diploma or degree in personal training, fitness or human movement sciences from a reputable organisation. Educated trainers have spent time learning how the human body works and also have the skills necessary to help you reach your goals.

trainer. Make the call and find out if this trainer was able to provide the client with a successful plan.

Find out if they have personal liability insurance:

This is vital and all good trainers should be covered by personal liability insurance. This insurance covers them and their clients (you) in the event of injury caused while under their supervision. Medical bills could cost you an arm and a leg should you get injured while training, therefore having a trainer who is covered by personal liability insurance will put your mind at ease.

Talk to your trainer: Before you hire a personal trainer, talk to him and find out if he can help you achieve your goals. Tell him exactly what you want to achieve and listen to what he has to say in response. A good trainer will not give you false hope and will never promise things he can’t actually deliver, so if it sounds too good to be true, do some research and see if he really is able to help you.

Ask for references: A good trainer would generally have a good reputation. However, if you’ve never heard of the trainer before, ask him (or her) for a few client references. If he gives these to you without any questions then you’re probably looking at a success. However, if he is wary about giving you these details, chances are something’s not quite kosher with the

Last but not least, remember your personal trainer is your motivation, and helps drive your motivation, but you must still be willing to work hard and put your body in his hands. And whatever you do, don’t expect to see results just because you have a trainer. Never neglect hard work and give each workout your all!

THYMUS GLAND THE MOST VITAL ORGAN OF THE IMMUNE SYSTEM The thymus gland lies just beneath the upper part of the breastbone in the middle of the chest. It is present in all mammals, and until the 1950s very little was understood about it, although there had been clues to its function for many years. Interestingly, the word thymus is derived from the Greek thymos, which is untranslatable into modern terms but denoted life force, soul, and feeling or sensibility. To the ancient Greeks, it referred to the breath-soul upon which man depended on for energy and courage. Even the earliest origins of the word implied rising into flames as a cloud or spirit in relation to the concept of soul and Life Energy. However, the standard teaching until quite recently was that the thymus gland had no function at all in the adult, a delusion fostered by the fact that during autopsy the thymus was usually found to be quite small and atrophied. This is because the thymus gland, in response to acute stress such as an infection, can shrivel to half its size in twenty-four hours. The thymus is essential for the maturation and maintenance of the immune system. It functions by releasing chemicals that affect its own regulation as well as the functions of other cells throughout the body. These chemicals, mainly proteins tend to reach their peak at puberty and then decline with age. They are important for the healthy maturation and activation of T-lympocytes which in turn activate B-lympocytes thereby contributing to a healthy immune system. Lymphocytes are a type of white blood cell, which are an important part of the immune system. Lymphocytes can defend the body against infection because they can distinguish the body’s own cells from foreign ones. Once they recognise foreign material in the body, they produce chemicals to destroy them. B lymphocytes, also called B cells, stay within the bone marrow until they are mature. Once mature, they spread throughout the body. T lymphocytes, or T cells, leave the bone marrow

How to Banish Foot Blisters painful blisters. So what do you do? Well, there are a lot of fabulous "secret" products on the market these days that cater to just about any foot problem. Whether it's your heel, your bridge, the ball of your foot or a tendency to develop corns, chances are you

Do you love to wear high heels, but your feet can't handle the dreaded blisters anymore? Then read on to discover how to banish those blister blues. They are ugly, not to mention uncomfortable, but blisters, especially among women with fabulous shoes is a reality, that some may not want to accept. The good news is that while you can't rearrange the structure of your feet, you can choose comfortable footwear and get a little help from a few secret

sources. One of the biggest causes of blisters is ill-fitting shoes. Your feet slide around in them, which results in the formation of

will find a product to help you minimise the discomfort drastically. These products have been designed especially for feet and can be purchased at most pharmacies. Scholl has a fabulous range that is worth spending the little bit extra.

and mature in the thymus. Only mature lymphocytes protect the body against diseases. The importance of the thymus gland can be summarised in a recent case described in a medical journal of a young boy who was admitted into the hospital unconscious and with a high fever. His T-lymphocyte count was found to be a fifth of normal values, and all attempts to resuscitate him failed. However after receiving an injection of thymus extract, his condition was dramatically reversed within 24hours. Using advanced diagnostic technology, I have observed that some people diagnosed with a weak immune system also have a possible complication of a condition known as thymolysis which literally translates as ‘destruction of the thymus gland’. They usually show persistent respiratory and gastro-intestinal problems such as cough and abdominal discomfort as well as a general lack of energy usually manifesting as tiredness. However and more importantly, I also notice a dramatic improvement in their health condition with thymus extract support. Perhaps as accurate testing of thymus function and administration of thymus extract, when indicated, becomes routine in medical practice, we will see more dramatic recoveries from diseases considered untreatable in the past. For more information please send an email to contact@medb.es

Friday, May 18, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Barry wanted to find an easy way to translate his ADVICE: Julie wanted advice on what to do if she didn’t Spanish documents into English receive the service that she had paid for. Hello Richard, hope you can help. I have read that if I scan a Spanish document into my printer and then copy and paste it into 'Google translate’; I can get an English version. However, this is not working for me. I have a HP Deskjet 2050 J510 printer and whenever I scan a document it is only as a PDF copy which I cannot seem to be able to copy and paste. What am I doing wrong please? I can copy, past and translate anything received by email. Thank you Barry

Can you help me On a recent visit to Costa Blanca I had trouble getting my internet connection so I took my lap top into a computer shop for help. They said I needed service pack three putting onto it. When I returned to pick it up it would not take a charge. The screen was totally black. The shop told me to leave it with them and 5 weeks later and a part ordered from England it was still the same. I picked it up and took it to another shop it took them 2 hours to say that the first shop had burnt out my motherboard by putting too high a current through it. I returned to the first shop and told them what had been discovered but they would not take responsibility for the problem. Back in England I have had it confirmed yet again that the motherboard has been burnt out due to too high a current going through it. I have sent emails to the shop in question that is being ignored who can I complain to? Is there an authority? The lap top was working when I took it in as the girl saw when she turned it on. I shall be returning to Spain again later in the year and I want to take this further. Please can you help me who do I complain to? Julie

Hi Barry, as you have correctly assumed from the subject line in your email (OCR) your scans are seen by the computer simply as pictures, not documents and Google (or any other translation tool or website) will need text in order to do the translation. To that end you need some Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software to convert your “pictures” into “text”. I’ve done a bit of research for you and there seems to be a great website - http://www.free-ocr.com where you can upload your scanned page and get it to scan and convert it to text online. The website will only allow documents up to 2Mb to be uploaded, however that should be plenty big enough for an A4 scanned page in black and white with only text on it – give it a go and let me know how you get on?

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hi Julie, apologies for the delay in replying, however as I'm sure you already realise this is not really a technical question, it's more of a legal one and therefore not really my area of expertise. I have however had a chat with one of my fellow TIBA members, Adriana Andreu Guerrero from A&G Lawyers in Torrevieja (Tel: 965 505 305) and she has sent me a full report on your rights; I have attached her report to this email in Spanish and English. In summary every legal business in Spain must have available to their customers a "complaint form" or "Hojas de Reclamaciones" upon request, this legal form can be completed by the customer if an amicable agreement cannot be reached, a formal process is then conducted to resolve the issue. of course if you decide to take this route you should probably engage the services of a solicitor, however many people find that just the threat of pursuing this type of resolution makes many companies sit up and take notice. Best of luck.

ADVICE: Mo wanted to know where she could get hold of her printer software

Q A

Hi, my printer is an Epson SX515W. If you can tell me where to find the printer drivers I would be really grateful, Regards Mo

Hi Mo, you can download the drivers (software) for your printer by visiting the manufacturers website, in your case the specific address for your printer is http://www.epson.co.uk/Store/Printers-and-All-inOnes/Epson-Stylus-SX515W/Drivers-Support?supportLandingPage=true Update: Hi Richard, you are a star!! Downloaded and managed to print a page this morning. Many many thanks

Friday, May 18, 2012

WHAT THE UK

NO KID(NEY)ING A DONOR AT 83! NICHOLAS Crace wanted to transform someone’s life but did not know how.

Daily Mirror

director said: “Giving a small part of me to someone else will make little difference to me but a huge one to someone else – it was an easy decision. “I was lucky to be in a position to help someone less fortunate than myself.” He added: “The surgeon congratulated me on the perfection of my kidneys.” Hospice volunteer Mr Crace, of Overton, Hants, began researching becoming a Daily Mirror donor after wife Brigid died last year. He had previously given blood 57 times. And tests revealed both his kidneys functioned like someone in their 40s. So he decided to go A FATHER who lost six children in an arson attack through with the three-hour broke down in tears as he made a public thank you to operation to remove one of fire crews for trying to save them. his kidneys at Queen Mick Philpott said he had been “overwhelmed” by the Alexandra Hospital in support his family had received following the blaze, Portsmouth. which police confirmed was started deliberately after His kidney was given to an petrol was poured anonymous man. through the letter box. Consultant Sam Dutta, He also said that he who did the op, said: “An and wife Mairead had altruistic donor is an amazing decided to donate their thing.” teenage son’s organs in Seven thousand people the hope of saving are on the kidney waiting list. another child’s life. One dies every day. Mr Philpott’s five children, aged between five and 10 years old, died in the blaze at the family home in Derby in the A 15-YEAR-OLD youth is early hours of facing a life sentence after Wednesday morning. being found guilty of stabbing Their 13-year-old son Duwayne suffered serious injuries and was taken to Birmingham Children’s a student to death in a row Hospital. His parents made the heartbreaking deci- over conkers. The youth was found guilty sion to turn off his life-support on Monday. Duwayne’s siblings Jade, 10, John, aged nine, at the Old Bailey of murdering seven-year-old Jack, Jessie, six, and five-year-old architecture student Steven Jayden all died in the fire. Grisales, 21. Mr Grisales died last

The widower, 83, was too old to become a bone marrow or blood donor so he began looking at other ways to help the seriously ill. Now Nicholas has achieved a medical milestone – by becoming the oldest living kidney donor. He is also the oldest person in Britain to give a kidney to a stranger. The ex-charity

Agony as arson dad says thanks

Daily Mirror

Next time, Phillip, try keeping it zipped! HE’S renowned for his gaffes and his fondness of pretty ladies. And Prince Philip combined the two this week when he said about a woman in red: “I would get arrested if I unzipped that dress!” The Duke of Edinburgh, 90, made the typically blunt comment during a Diamond Jubilee

Daily Mail

Kennedy curse back MARY Kennedy, the estranged wife of Robert Kennedy Jr., has been found dead at her home in an apparent suicide. Mary, 52, and Robert, the third-eldest of Robert Kennedy’s 11 children, were married for 16 years before they filed for divorce in May 2010. The death is the latest in a succession of tragedies to strike the glittering and powerful Kennedy clan, known as the ‘curse of Camelot’. The mother-of-four was found dead at her Mount Kisco home in Westchester County, New York. Cause of death has not yet been determined.

Conker row killer jailed The Sun August after he went over to remonstrate with youths throwing conkers still in their spiky husks. He was walking to Silver Street station, Edmonton, north London, when he was attacked in College Close.

The youth, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, was remanded in custody to be sentenced next month. After the verdict, Detective Inspector Richard Beadle said: “Steven did no more than stand up to unruly youths and for that he has lost his life.

visit with the Queen to Bromley, south London, where they were met by more than 6,000 flag-waving school children. The blonde in question, Bromley council schools and transport co-ordinator Hannah Jackson, 25, was coy about her encounter, saying: “We were talking about the event generally.” When quizzed about the Duke’s comment, she said: “I’m not sure really what to say.”

Friday, May 18, 2012

TABLOIDS SAY

‘MADDIE IS DEAD’ FURY The Sun PSYCHIC Derek Acorah has outraged Kate and Gerry McCann by insisting their daughter Madeleine is dead. The TV medium, who claims a messenger from the spirit world gave him the information, said: “She’s not on this earth anymore.” A source close to the McCanns said: “They are sickened by this.” Acorah, 62, has added to Kate and Gerry’s anguish by claiming Madeleine died years ago — and will soon be reincarnated. He said: “I know her parents are convinced Maddie is alive and I’m really sorry - but the little one has been over in the spirit world for some time. “I don’t think she’ll be there long before she reincarnates. “When children pass over who haven’t had full lives I believe they choose the time to come back in the same form again — as another little girl.” The McCanns are said to be disgusted by Acorah’s claims. A source said: “Kate and Gerry are sickened. This character Derek Acorah is nothing but a self-publicist. It’s incredibly distasteful and insensitive.” Millionaire medium Acorah, exhost of TV’s Most Haunted, claimed a messenger from the

Maddie McCann and Derek Acorah, who thinks she is dead spirit world named Sam told him Madeleine was dead — shortly after she vanished in Praia da Luz, Portugal, five years ago. He said: “I got asked to go over there at the very beginning and I said to my wife that I was going to go. But then she showed me some emails from a number of psychics who were already there. “There were four of them and they were coming to a blank.” Acorah claimed he sought guidance by contacting Sam — his spirit guide. He said: “I asked the spirit world and Sam confirmed she was dead. It is horrible but he said there was no purpose for me to go there.”

Black hole caused by green cars may hike tax by 50% HARD-PRESSED motorists could face a 50 PER CENT rise in fuel duty in future years to plug a £13billion hole in Treasury coffers, a report claims. Revenue from vehicle excise and fuel duty are set to plummet between now and 2029 as drivers switch to ecofriendly cars that are cheap to run. To make up for the shortfall, duty would need to rise from 58p to 87p a litre, according to the report by the Institute of Fiscal Studies and the RAC Foundation. Professor Stephen Glaister, director of the RAC, said: “The irony is that while ministers encourage us to buy greener cars, they’re forced to look at ways of clawing back money motorists think they will be saving.” The Treasury has insisted fuel prices

The Sun

are currently 10p a litre CHEAPER than they would have been thanks to the Government cutting planned rises in duty. But campaigners last night urged ministers to go further. Tory MP Robert Halfon said: “High fuel prices are crushing businesses and families — and they are not working for the Government either.” Morrisons will today spark a petrol price war by becoming the cheapest on the forecourt. The supermarket will announce a 2p cut to unleaded and diesel, taking unleaded to as low as 132.9p per litre. The cuts follow The Sun’s Keep It Down campaign.

ot air h e k li s d n u o s e s u c Wind ex s re told on AIR passengers we length of the t Tuesday tha they es eu qu n tio immigra "will row ath He should expect at d". win the depend on ndon's Long waits at Lo gered an ve ha rt busiest airpo weeks, t en rec in rs me custo up to two with queue times of me. so by ed ord hours rec ern that There is also conc able to un be l Heathrow wil of vislux inf ge lar the h cope wit

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Daily Expres

Defiant Rebekah Brooks will face her day in court, says CPS FORMER News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks (pictured) and her husband Charlie have been charged with perverting the course of justice during the phone-hacking scandal. The Crown Prosecution Service confirmed that they, along with four others, will be taken to court over accusations of plotting to

hide material from police. But Mr and Mrs Brooks remained defiant, branding the decision “weak and unjust” and blaming the “unprecedented posturing” of the CPS before they appeared at separate police stations to answer their bail. The charges are among the most dramatic developments of a con-

troversy that has sent shockwaves through the British political establishment and rocked Rupert Murdoch’s media empire. Mrs Brooks, 43, was filmed entering Lewisham police station, south London, while Mr Brooks was spotted leaving Hammersmith police station, in west London. An hour later Mrs Brooks emerged and was

whisked off in a black BMW, refusing to answer questions. Mrs Brooks faces three counts of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice, including that she removed boxes of material from the News International archive and tried to conceal documents, computers and other material from the Scotland Yard inquiry.

Friday, May 18, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Ego shows turn me off I WAS surprised recently to see that some local newspapers seem to be printing theatre reviews that have been written by the performers themselves. Please explain to me the point of that? The review is never going to be balanced and fair if it is written by someone who was involved in the production and it starts to call into question the validity of anything the newspapers print. It also encourages readers, through false advertising, to attend the productions of the company or companies that have big enough egos to write about themselves in such glowing terms.

All the amateur groups on the Costa Blanca work very hard to put on their plays and shows - and all of them contribute a great deal of money to local charities. Their work is highly commendable and all of the groups have some very talented members. I have seen many productions by many different groups on the Costa Blanca and I have my favourites who I go to see regularly due to the quality of the plays/shows that they put on. I shall be very much less inclined to see the productions of groups who submit their own reviews and I hope this trend is not going to continue. BILLY WILLIAMSON, Torrevieja

n a le c e m o c o t Time

the Emergency rmation about fo in y an halted u yo g, have there has been I AM wonderin antes] as work rv which Ce d e un all ro [C g a in ni stories are go nt Centre in La Ze re ffe di d an me time, now for quite so derful things’’ ng. bi ur st di ite qu out all the “won ab are g yin sa s, but e ar uncil es and footpath The Orihuela Co hes, i.e. palm tre er a ac ov be r e fo th w on no g g in street cleanin that are happen No a! “We ni e Ze th to La ing in 's happened what is happen e gutters - what th of t ou g in ow month, weeds gr urists’’ slogan? occad tidy for the to ll on numerous want it clean an with amenca Town Ha Fl lp a he ay d Pl ul e co th u I have phoned appreciate if yo h uc m ld ou W ! sponse uld help. sions, still no re rmation that wo ON or have any info ent R J SIGERS s, sid lem Re ob d pr ne e er es th Conc ek asking for ail during the we em an cil wing un Co uela ical turmoil follo We dropped Orih ite all the polit sp swer de an d to an e tim ts have found their commen DITOR l budget, they -E ca lo 12 20 e e th sid rejection of response along . See Denise’s your questions

The black hole? It’s Maggie who got it going IT IS a pity that Tony Mayes does not get all the facts before writing his articles. In edition 64 (May 11), he blames the Labour Party entirely for the financial mess that faces Britain at present but ignores the fact that the `black hole´ was started by the Conservatives under Margaret Thatcher, giving away billions to the rich and powerful. The Labour Party just made it worse with their stupidity. If John Major had had enough money to play with there would not have been a need for a second Gulf War. A. ONGLEY TONY MAYES replies: If Mr Ongley really wants to go back in history, perhaps we should really blame our ancestors for losing our Empire for all that's wrong now!

All very understandable, Bil. Although they are incredibly quick to ask for previews in order to sell tickets, very few of these groups ever send us Press tickets. Indeed, at one show I was invited to, I ended up paying for my ticket, so I simply did not write a revue. I doubt they expected one anyway…because a lengthy report of their own arrived a couple of days later! A couple of Press tickets are always appreciated…providing they cost exactly the same price as this newspaper! - ED

COMPLAINT? JUST DROP US AN EMAIL I WRITE regarding the letter you received from Mr. Sigerson (see letter on this page headed ‘Time to come clean’), who I know and have met here in the Town Hall. With regards to the Emergency Centre, this project is in hand. The original building company unfortunately went bankrupt and tenders were put out to other building companies to complete the work. It is intended to have the emergency centre up and running as quickly as possible. With regard to street cleaning etc., if Mr. Sigerson or other residents have a problem they are more than welcome to visit me in the Town Hall where they can then register the nature of the work to be done with the maintenance department. I can confirm that the timescale for dealing with street cleaning and graffiti removal is much quicker than in the past. I would add however, that before the Town Hall can take action with street cleaning, or cleaning of green areas and the removal of graffiti we must first establish who the land, or for example the affected wall belongs to. If the land or wall is public property then these jobs will be registered by the maintenance brigades and taken care of as quickly as

possible. Of course if the land or walls are private property the Town Hall is not allowed to clean, tidy or remove the graffiti. A further method which makes the registering of streets/areas to be tidied or graffiti to be removed much quicker and easier for residents is the e-mail address set up recently: costa@orihuela.es where all residents are invited to register their complaints - and they do not even need to visit the Town Hall. The e-mail does not have to be in Spanish and we will endeavour to reply as quickly as possible. I can confirm also that all calls made to the maintenance department are registered and forwarded to the relevant department where the name and contact details of the caller are noted and also the nature of their call. If Mr. Sigerson has not received a reply please ask him to visit me and we can check with the maintenance department, firstly to establish the exact location which needs cleaning and also to make sure it is on the maintenance brigade´s list. I hope the above is of assistance to Mr. Sigerson and other Orihuela Costa Residents. Kind regards, DENISE WESSERLING Oficina Residentes Internacionales, Orihuela

Latest edition online at www.thecourier.es

Friday, May 18, 2012

Judith’s chorus call THE Velvetones Harmony Chorus has a new musical director. Judith Phillips has been singing with the chorus since 1998 and for the past year has been the assistant musical director. Welcoming her to her new role, Velvetones chairwoman June Brady presented Judith (left of picture) with her new name tag. The Velvetones meet at the restaurant El Paraiso, Jardin del Mar, near Carrefour in Torrevieja on Thursday afternoons from 2pm to 4.30pm. Potential new social and singing members are always welcome to come and see what they get up to at the rehearsals.

GOLD STROKE! Swim queen Emma is double tops

EMMA CAGIGAO grabbed gold at the double as Torrevieja Swimming Club picked up four trophies at the 15th Municipal Patronato Trophy Competition last Saturday . She won both the 50m Absolute backstroke and the 100m junior freestyle at the Municipal Pool, San Vincente, knocking a further two seconds off her personal best in the former event with a time of 33:63. Piroska Rideg also won two trophies in the girls’ section, finishing second in the 100m Alevin backstroke with a new personal best of 1:18:69 – and third in the 100m butterfly in 1:27:28. The boys Benjamin 4 x 50m medley relay event saw Torrevieja’s Georgy Murskiy, Kasper Goliszek, Bastian Martinez and Timofei Pykin in sixth place with a time of 2:54:80. Both Adam Stewart and Aleksander Haarberg took part in the Absolute categories, achieving good times and enjoying the buzz of team competition. Torrevieja swimming club is always looking for new members. It meets each evening, in three sessions, Monday to Friday between 5.30pm and 9pm. The club trains in the 50m pool at the Palacio de Deportes Infanta Cristina. For more information regarding the club, please contact Eddie Cagigao on 637 869 602, Rosa on 665 454 126 or President Felipe on 609 418 776 or e-mail ecagigao@hotmail.com or info@clubnataciontorrevieja.com Benjamin and Alevin team and (top) Emma with trophies

End of the rainbow From Page 5 myself, had lots of issues that we had locked away, so we were surprised how this affected us all. I can only speak for myself, but it felt as if a big burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt much awakened and alert, so could look towards the future with more opportunism. After lunch I had a reading with Jim, who is a psychic medium and healer. This was the best part for me personally. I’ve had quite a lot of reading back in the UK, so was intrigued to hear what Jim would say. I sat down with him back in the

wooden shed at the bottom of the garden and asked a few questions about how he started this Retreat. He said he’d done this type of work back in the UK, and thought this venture would be good as it was an addiction Retreat and hopefully he and his team could help those who visited. My reading was one of the best I have ever had (and believe me I have had a few!). When it had finished I felt spiritually uplifted. It also answered so many questions for me about my life. So I have to say thank you again, Jim. Would I go again? Most definitely. For more information call 699 409 433

Friday, May 18, 2012

SOS fashions a HELP line THE ladies from SOS boutique in Mercadona Square were joined by Help at Home (HAH) volunteers to showcase some stunning fashions from SOS. A packed audience watched the fashion show, with day, evening, shoes and accessories all expertly modelled. The dresses were beautiful, with styles and colours that are every girl’s dream. After the show and a glass of cava, there was a rush for the dressing rooms with people trying and buying their favourite outfits. But it was not just a day of enjoying some of the most stylish clothes on the

Costa -a raffle organised by SOS also raised €160 for HAH. Event organiser Celia Ryan, thanked SOS staff, volunteers and everyone who came along in support. If you would like to find out more about HAH visit their website www.helpathome.es. Caring volunteers and enthusiastic fund raisers are always needed. Call Angela on 603 517 779 or email helpathomespain@gmail.com T’S digging-in time for Paul Cunningham Nurses at the Homes Gardens and Outdoor Living Show next

Tuesday and Wednesday – and if you have an old or broken mobile phone you don’t want, bring it along as well. On Friday (May 25), it’s dance time at the Swinging Sixties Night at Quesada Country Club, where tickets bought through PCN are just €12. Next up is Walk for Wendy (in memory of Wendy Vickers) in Rojales on Sunday May 27 - and finally, relax at Ladies Pamper Day on June 28 - just €12 at Casa La Pedrera. For more information, text sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk, call 639318526 or go to www. paulcunninghamnurses.com

OVER THE RAINBOW Sponsorship is Wizard for panto group

THEY may be singing of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, but the Rojales Pantomime Group skipped straight to the end of the rainbow and found its pot of gold thanks to local businesses.

Shake on it: Francisco Lidon with Wizard of Oz director Barry Cox

Golden oldies swing to choral Crescendo RESIDENTS and staff of Casa Verde Retirement Home in Almoradi enjoyed a special, private concert from Crescendo Choir. One of the choir members has a relative living in the home and thought it would be a great place to perform. And the audience certainly enjoyed the show, with lots of foot-tapping as the choir sang a varied programme of 16 songs. These ranged from religious to swing and included two pieces in Spanish, Sin Ti and

Guantanamera, which had Casa Verde residents joining in before clapping enthusiastically. The choir’s young musical director, Irene Oliva, and its accompanist, Toni Guillen, were particularly popular, with many people coming up to chat to them afterwards. After the singing, choir members were able to enjoy refreshments with the residents, rounding off nicely what turned out to be a perfect and very enjoyable afternoon for residents and singers alike.

Eating Solo - together! THE 50+ SOLOs group lunch at the Cavalier restaurant on May 26 has had to be postponed. The next lunch will be on May 25 at 1pm at the Chulletin Restaurant in Washington Square, San Luis. To book, or for further information, contact Ruth on 966 789 063. On June 2, the group will be going to the Crazy Golf in Quesada, with lunch after the competition. Ring Ruth on 966789063 to book or find out more.

IF you have something to sell, take it to the HELP Murcia Mar Menor auction at Paddy Singh’s in Los Urrutias. Pay a €10 fee for three items or €4 for one item to enter your lot in the auction. All fees go to HELP, but what you make on your auction lot is yours. Call Janice on 650 737 383 or Bernard 659 751 611 for details.

The Panto Group is getting sponsorship to help finance the staging of its latest production, The Wizard of Oz, featuring the Acadamie de Baile de Carmen Lorente. Businessman Francisco Lidon, who owns Restauranté La Herradura in Los AT the May business meeting of the Montesinos is helping out, along with Ajerico, Torrevieja Costa Lions, Lions’ presiGenial Banking, Alterego, Grupcompra, dent Iain Bennett was delighted to Crevimundo Viajes, Mediterraneo Beach, announce the twinning of our local Lions Club with the Engey Lions Club Pinturas Filiu and the Spanish Rotarians. of Reykjavik, Iceland. There are over Brian Cox, writer and director of the 40,000 Lions Clubs in the world today, new production, said he was “over the all under the stewardship of Lions moon and over the rainbow” at this wonClubs International. derful news. To mark the occasion, two of Engey “The cost of putting on a full production Lions past presidents, Halldora show is extremely high and this generous Thorvaldsdottir and Kata Arnadottir, sponsorship will enable us to achieve the attended the club business meeting high standards we strive for as well as and presented Iain with a pictorial donating money to worthy local causes.” book of the stunning scenery and The Wizard of Oz will be performed at the lifestyle of Iceland and its people. Both Escuela de Musica in Los Montesinos on May Clubs look forward to a close bond. 31 and June 1 at 7.30pm, with a matinee on June 2 at 2.30pm. Tickets cost €8 for adults and €5 for children. There is a discount of €1 on adult tickets for advance purchases. Tickets can be bought at Bargain Books, Torrevieja and WENDY VICKERS, who San Miguel; The Hire Centre, died recently, was in her San Luis; Halfway House, third year as president of Quesada; Quesada Fish and Quesada Ladies Club. Chips; La Marina Cards and Born in Bolton in 1940, More, La Marina Fancy Dress, she married Tom in 1964 News4u and Acadamie de and their only daughter, Baile de Carmen Lorente, Los Andrea, was born the folMontesinos. lowing year. The Pantomime Group is Wendy, a trained florist, and Tom purchased planning its annual Westwells Florist in Bolton Market Hall in 1971 and on Christmas panto, which this retiring bought a property in Doña Pepa, leaving the year will be Dick Whittington. business to Andrea. Sadly Tom died in 2009. New members are welcome Wendy was a lively, warm-hearted, quick-witted both backstage and onstage. lady with a good sense of humour and did a lot of Find out more by going work for Age Concern CBS and other charities. along to a group rehearsal on She died in Torrevieja Hospital on April 30 after a Wednesdays and Fridays sudden illness and will be greatly missed by Andrea, from 2pm in the Quesada grandson Michael, other relatives and also by her Cultural Centre. Or email many, many friends here in Spain. shimserve@google.com

Witty Wendy was so warm-hearted

Friday, May 18, 2012

Rachel Angus

At TKO we have been looking through some old pictures, out of our chocolate tins and wanted to share them with you. Some have worn better than others...

Tune in all next week to hear our world famous TKO FM Power Play & TKO Gold Future Gold Track TKO FM - WEEKLY POWER PLAY Matthew Raymond-Barker - City Lights 22-year-old Londoner Matthew RaymondBarker competed in the 2nd season of France's X Factor, ultimately winning the series in June 2011. Receiving the grand cash prize and a recording deal with Sony Music. He released a single titled ‘Trash' last year which did not make it into any Top singles charts, which caused a delay in the release of his debut LP.

Chris Ashley

TKO GOLD - FUTURE GOLD TRACK Darren James

Davy Jones

Andy James

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

Ian Rockford

TKO’s Fun Facts From 1974

Lee Fox

The UK Top 5 Singles From May 1974 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Waterloo - Abba Don't Stay Away Too Long - Peters and Lee Shang-A-Lang - Bay City Rollers Sugar Baby Love - Rubettes Remember Your A Womble - The Wombles

Abba - ABBA was a Swedish pop/rock group formed in Stockholm in 1972. They became one of the most commercially successful acts in the history of pop music, topping the charts worldwide from 1972 to Waterloo is the second studio album by the Swedish pop group ABBA. It was originally released in Sweden on 4 March 1974 through Polar Music. The album's title track won ABBA the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest. On this day, May 18th 1974 - It was the first confirmed nuclear test by a nation outside the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council.

Next Week Fun Facts From 1975

Cookies n Beans - Tomorrow's Such a Long Time Away Formed in 2003, this Swedish female country music act rose to fame in 2009. The trio have just launched their 3rd studio album ‘Go Tell The World', led by this single.

POP QUIZ May 19th Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm. 1. The Paramounts were the forerunners to which 60s group. 2. Feels So Right & Fiddle In The Band were country hits for which band. 3. What were Althia & Donna up to in 1977. 4. His dog was called Boo. 5. Who do we know Vincent Furnier better as. 6. The Searchers first US Top 20 hit. 7. Party animal Jona Lewie spent a lot of time where. 8. Messers Furuholmen & Waaktaar formed two thirds of this 80s group.

Friday, May 18,16, 2012 Friday, December 2011

OLD BOY RACERS This month's rally for the Torrevieja Classics and Specialists Car Club was a very different / unique event. Sixteen cars met at the Lo Monte Hotel on Sunday the 12th May at 11.30 for coffee before proceeding from there along the AP7 towards Cartegena, taking a detour through the orange groves and countryside, ending up at the new Velocity Racing Circuit just north of Cartagena next to the A30 motorway. It was the opening day for the new racing venture and all the members were keen to look around and check out the cars in the pits. Whilst some members had family picnics, another 30 or so had an excellent meal of chicken stuffed with cheese and ham in the circuit restaurant. After lunch we were treated to demonstrations of car handling/ driving skills, followed by the chance for those that wanted to drive the old cars around the circuit. Fourteen cars lined up behind the Safety Car and completed three laps of the Oval circuit followed by one lap of the main circuit. The pictures show the cars in action and returning to the pits. The race track then resumed normal business and proceeded to entertain the crowd with

modified circuit racing cars. The club would like to thank Velocity Racing for the opportunity to go around the tracks and wish them every success for the future. Once again a very enjoyable afternoon / evening was had by all. If you would like to join us on our rallies please contact us as below. For more information on Club Torrevieja please visit www.ClubTorrevieja.com, or contact Ron Blackwell on 966791212 or come along to one of our next monthly meeting which is Wednesday 6th June at 19.30 in the Cafeteria Marina Club in the International Marina.

Velocity racing We had a great day out on Sunday 13th May at The new Velocity Racing Cartagena Oval motor racing circuit in Cartagena, Murcia. A crowd of nearly 200 turned up as well as Torrevieja’s Classic car club. The track had finally come to fruition after seven years of determination by a group of local enthusiasts who used to be involved in various aspects of motor racing in Britain. This will be the first short Oval Circuit in Spain and guaranteed to become very popular with the Spanish, who have never experienced the delights of stock car or even banger racing. With guaranteed sunshine, it’s also the perfect location for UK and Irish drivers looking to practice during the winter months. The first race day properly scheduled for June 3, 2012. Organisers Velocity Racing were proud to have Mr Colin White, the 3 times National Hot Rod World Champion, to officially open the track, with his national hot rod. Adding to the action was the Terry Grant Stunt Car Show, who made a thrilling appearance at the open day, even rolling a car onto it’s roof. A few cars were fighting it out for position during a fun race to entertain the crowd. Oval circuits can vary dramatically in length & physical layout and therefore each track presents its own unique challenges and demands on the driver. It’s no different in Spain, as the track drops and twists and turns, it gives a lot of challenges to the drivers, especially when it comes to tyre wear. Velocity Racing Spain, intend to bring a range of formulas, including Categories from VR Nino Rods (14yrs to 16yrs), VR Rookie Rods, VR Stock Rods, VR Lightning Rods\VR Thunder Rods, VR 2 LTR Rods and VR Extreme Rods all hopefully coming soon. Velocity Racing are actively seeking sponsors, volunteers, marshals, officials, medical staff and anyone wishing to help. If you want to drive in the races or in need of a car to race (Velocity Racing can build you a car to your specifications and budget), contact them on (+34) 674 256 147 See details on their website, http://velocity-racing.eu This is a budget way to go motor racing.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Volkswagen Hover MINI GP II REVEALED Car takes off The MINI John Cooper Works GP II is a final fling for the second-generation hatch – and while MINI has yet to reveal how much power the car has, it’s said the newcomer will lap the famous Nurburgring race track in Germany 19 seconds faster than 2006’s original GP, in eight minutes and 23 seconds. Only 2,000 examples of the GP II will be produced, and the company is promising a better power-to-weight ratio than in any MINI before it. Plus, the bumpers are beefed-up front and rear, while side skirts and a unique roof spoiler are backed up by a bespoke underbody diffuser. Racy red colour coding on the brake vents and bonnet intakes is repeated on the mirror caps. And if that’s not enough, there are GP graphics on the doors as well. The newcomer should be one of the besthandling MINIs ever, too. The chassis has adjustable ‘race’ suspension, stiff-

Volkswagen has been running a “People’s Car Project” in China ahead of the 2012 Beijing Motor Show – and amongst the intriguing concepts submitted by the Chinese public is this VW Hover Car. And we don’t mean flappy rubber skirts and a fan on the back – although that has previously appeared with a VW badge in the form of the unofficial Volkswagen Aqua concept. Instead the Hover Car would work rather more like a monorail, using an electromagnetic road network to float just inches above the tarmac. Advantages would include the ability to turn on the spot, and presumably a drastic reduction in surface wear and tear. Sophisticated sensors and computer control system would do their best to avoid accidents, too. Wild though the idea may be, according

A BIT OF FUN A blonde police officer stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving licence. The driver searches around in her handbag but can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.” The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist searches around in her bag again, and finds a mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.” The cop says, “Let me see it, then.” So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You are free to go.”

to Volkswagen it gives them great interest into Chinese buyers’ priorities – in this instance the ability to safely negotiated overcrowded streets. Other highlights from the People’s Car Project include the Music Car – a VW Beetle covered in LEDs that change colour according to the music that’s playing on the stereo – and a device called the Smart Key. This is a small touchscreen that would allow you to check the car’s fuel level, climate conditions and security. It even proposes you’d be able to view the vehicle on a live satellite feed – but that’s probably even more scifi than the Hover Car right now. The People’s Car Project was first launched 11 months ago. In receiving 33 million visitors to the website and more than 119,000 ideas, its success has “far exceeded all expectations,” says Volkswagen.

ened for improved cornering. A set of special alloys with stickier tyres will also help, while the stronger brakes will allow drivers to attack corners with more confidence. The extreme feel continues inside. MINI has removed the rear seat – just as it did in the 2006 model – while up front is a set of sports seats that will hold the driver and passenger firmly in place. Although we don’t know how much power the 1.6-litre four-cylinder turbocharged engine will deliver, the previous MINI GP added around 8bhp to the regular JCW of the time. If the new version follows suit – as is likely – that would mean at least 216bhp.And it would enable the GP II to eclipse the JCW’s 6.8-second 062mph sprint time. However fast it can go, the MINI GP II is likely to cost around £25,000 when it arrives in dealers here later this month.

Friday, May 18, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 14 represents N and 21 represents X, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Stimulate (6) 4 Feverish (6) 9 Violently destructive windstorm (7) 10 French for 'there you are' (5) 11 Freshwater fish (5) 12 Silent signal (7) 13 Exaggeratedly proper (6-5) 18 Put in proper order (7) 20 Small ovoid fruit (5) 22 Natural aptitude (5) 23 Disgraceful event (7) 24 Hang around (6) 25 Imperfection (6)

Down 1 Complete (6) 2 Approximately (5) 3 Windpipe (7) 5 King of rock and roll (5) 6 Eulogy (7) 7 Swiss mountain cottage (6) 8 Small perennial herb (62-3) 14 Parcel of land (7) 15 Chosen disciple (7) 16 Legal (6) 17 Choose (6) 19 Boldness (5) 21 Hopping mad (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 7 Voyage, 8 Ceases, 9 Bare, 10 Saucepan, 11 Massive, 13 Lapel, 15 Idiot, 17 Recluse, 20 Pleasant, 21 Bury, 22 Malice, 23 Eleven. Down: 1 Sonata, 2 Care, 3 Pensive, 4 Scrub, 5 Baseball, 6 Beware, 12 Sporadic, 14 Genteel, 16 Dollar, 18 Surrey, 19 Eager, 21 Beef.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Enlists fresh minds (7) 5 Once a sort of river craft (5) 8 Disheartened teenager with thespian's rural transport (7) 9 Nasty tasting piece of chocolate with dry exterior (5) 10 Former first person the French drive out (5) 11 Suppose you give the wrong purse to me (7) 12 Home counties credit and French Private (6) 14 Troubles seem to start with tender touch (6) 17 Facing a stag in trouble (7) 19 Southern sound the airline never gives first (5) 22 During the winter season it's short (5) 23 I'm going to one London art museum to copy (7) 24 Steps taken to go up in the world (5) 25 Having funds that are liquid (7)

Down 1 Start looking after the machine (5) 2 I swam badly for the teacher (5) 3 Former tenant about end of time limit (7) 4 Scratch sweetheart following fight (6) 5 Wooden box buried in consecrated ground (5) 6 Encourage poor centre court return (7) 7 Some girlfriend lessons are incessant (7) 12 Wreck the star rebel (7) 13 Catherine Howard's and Ginger Rogers' identification numbers started the embarrassment (7) 15 Where workers make a pile? (3,4) 16 Dismantles landing areas (6) 18 Can't live without dense stew (5) 20 Informed about a Hertfordshire town (5) 21 Loudly speculated about visitor (5)

STANDARD CLUES

Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Arc Art Coo Coy Ewe Far Gap Hue Lea Man Nae Net Opt Our Sad Sit 4 letter words Ache Acre Area

Aria Bosh Crag Deed Diet Draw Earn Emir Euro Farm Gilt Hash Ires Iris Lieu Mice Mote Ogre Para Peel Rims

Ruin Shard Sign Sober Star Sores Tare Speed Tree Staid Vase Tatty 5 letter words Troll Beans Weigh Early 6 letter words Elfin Advise Least Orient Moors Ringed Mouse Stoned Nacre Sultan Paint System Panel 7 letter words Prism Anagram Putty Haywire Robed Herself Sepia Tallies Shame

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

1 Shaping machine (5) 1 Takes heed (7) 2 Hindu religious teacher (5) 5 Small boat (5) 3 Intense (7) 8 Farming vehicle (7) 4 Scratch (6) 9 Bitter (5) 5 Container (5) 10 Banishment (5) 6 Foster (7) 11 Assume (7) 7 Infinite (7) 12 Private (6) 12 Break (7) 14 Fondle (6) 13 Humiliation (7) 17 Versus (7) 15 Mound of earth made 19 Nasal tone (5) by insects (3,4) 22 Brief (5) 16 Undresses (6) 23 Copy (7) 18 Wants (5) 24 Steps (5) 20 Alive to (5) 25 Financially sound (7) 21 Visitor (5) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Confess, 5 Burns, 8 Atlas, 9 Looks in, 10 Surprises, 12 Lie, 13 Eldest, 14 Esteem, 17 Use, 18 Realistic, 20 Intrude, 21 Ochre, 23 Eerie, 24 Patents. Down: 1 Class, 2 Nil, 3 Ensures, 4 Splash, 5 Blots, 6 Resilient, 7 Sunbeam, 11 Red setter, 13 Elusive, 15 Spin out, 16 Make-up, 18 Route, 19 Chess, 22 Hen.

Across

Down

1 Champú (7) 5 Rígido (tieso) (5) 8 Más afortunado (7) 9 Down (physical movement) (5) 10 Empates (en partidos) (5) 11 Rescue (7) 12 Basto (superficie, piel) (6) 14 Married (6) 17 Smoked (f) (7) 19 Asientos (muebles) (5) 22 Where (5) 23 Tarde (últimas horas) (7) 24 Ready (prepared) (5) 25 Tener (poseer, disponer de) (7)

1 Ensalada (5) 2 Anchor (5) 3 Sacerdotes (7) 4 Worker (agriculture, industry) (6) 5 Focas (animales) (5) 6 To go home (2,1,4) 7 Vase (7) 12 Tracksuit (7) 13 Pupils (school) (7) 15 Respuestas (a preguntas, en examen, test) (7) 16 Despertar (del sueño) (4,2) 18 Steel (metal) (5) 20 Vivo (5) 21 Señales (indicaciones) (5)

Friday, May 18, 2012 Across 1 Which non-commissioned officer rank in the British Army or RAF ranks above a corporal? (8) 7 What surname is shared by ‘horror’ actor Vincent and glamour model Katie? (5) 8 Djakarta is the capital of which Southeast Asian country? (9) 9 What name is given to a small pointed tool used for piercing holes, especially in leather? (3) 10 Which hard white fat on the kidneys and loins of cattle, sheep, and other animals, is used to make foods including puddings, pastry, and mincemeat? (4) 11 What name is given to woollen cloth woven in one of several patterns of coloured checks and intersecting lines, especially of a design associated with a particular Scottish clan? (6) 13 Which city is the capital of Northern Territory, Australia? (6) 14 What name is given to a belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious (especially Christian) doctrine? (6) 17 See 13 Down 18 Warty, crested, palmate and smooth are all types of which small slender-bodied amphibian? (4) 20 In the Harry Potter books, what sort of creature is Hedwig? (3) 22 Which arm of the Atlantic Ocean between North and South America, is the origin of the Gulf stream? (9) 23 What name is normally given to a box or cage, typically with a wire mesh front, for keeping rabbits, ferrets, or other small

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

domesticated animals? (5) 24 See 5 Down Down 1 What was the nationality of the psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung? (5)

2 Cervus elaphus is the scientific name of which common hoofed grazing or browsing animal of temperate Europe and Asia? (3,4) 3 At 3,200 metres, which is the highest (and most active) volcano in Europe? (4) 4 Which city is the capital of the Bahamas? (6) 5/24 Which Premiership team plays at home at the DW Stadium? (5,8) 6 In America, what name is given to an attendant in a hotel who performs services such as carrying guests’ luggage? (7) 7 Which large cat is also known as the cougar and the puma? (7) 12 Which form of music for the Scottish bagpipes involves elaborate variations on a theme, typically of a martial or funerary character? (7) 13/17A Which American shortstory writer and poet was famous for her witty remarks like ‘men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses’? (7,6) 15 Which mountain in the central Himalayas is known as Chomolungma in Tibetan and Sagarmatha in Sanskrit? (7) 16 Which city is the capital and chief port of Lebanon? (6) 17 Which Ancient Greek philosopher, along with Socrates and Aristotle, laid the philosophical foundations of Western culture? (5) 19 Rubber Bullets, I’m Not In Love and Dreadlock Holiday were all UK number one hit singles for which group? (3,2) 21 According to the Bible, what was the name of the second son of Adam and Eve, who was murdered by his brother Cain? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Prepositional phrases 2 Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

music QUIZ

x1. Dido 2. FALSE 3. 1975 4. FALSE 5. Bachelors 6. Brian Eno (No Wonder He Changed It) 7. R Dean Taylor 8. Eminem 9. Labour Of Love 10. Mike Nesmith 11. Charlie Parker 12. Falling into You

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Eugenics, 8 Gore Vidal, 10 Role, 11 Delius, 13 Scarab, 14 Voodoo, 17 Shalom, 18 Joss, 20 Tee, 22 Caesarean, 23 Exile, 24 Hogshead. Down: 1/7A/9 Edgar Allen Poe, 2 Gorilla, 3 Nave, 4 Cadres, 5 Slips, 6 Inferno, 7 Albinos, 12 Valance, 13 Scythes, 15 Diocese, 16 Bolero, 17 Sepia, 19 Synod, 21 Cats.

bajo-el-mando-

a-cambio-de

a-cargo-de

bajo-juramento

a-causa-de

bajo-llave

adentro-de

bajo-lluvia

a-disposición-de

bajo-presion

a-excepción-de

bajo-tierra

a-falta-de

los-de-abajo

a-fin-de

rio-abajo

Match the English and Spanish names of fruit and vegetables. You will find the answers at the bottom of the page. 1. debajo de, 14.bajo presión, i. under pressure, j. inside, 2.a cambio de, 15.bajo tierra, k. under ground, 3.a cargo de, 16.los de abajo, l. the underdogs, 4.a causa de, 17.rio abajo. m. in charge of, 5.adentro de, a.at the disposal of, n. because of, 6.a disposición de, b. under oath, o. in the rain, 7.a excepción de, c. down river, p. in the absence of, 8.a falta de, 9.a fin de, d. under lock and key, q. under the command of. 10.bajo el mando de, e. underneath, 11.bajo juramento, f. except for, 12.bajo llave, g. in exchange for, 13.bajo lluvia, h. in order to, Answers 1e, 2g, 3m, 4n, 5j, 6a, 7f, 8p, 9h, 10q, 11b, 12d, 13o, 14i, 15k, 16l, 17c.

1. Which female singer's debut album was No Angels in 1999? 2. True Or False Martin Kemp and Gary Kemp Of 'Spandau Ballet' Are Not Related? 3. In Which Year Did Procol Harum Open Pandora's Box? 4. True Or False 'John Bon Jovi' Was The Original Lead Singer Of The Band Poison? 5. Beethoven, Brahms, Chopin, Handel, Liszt and Ravel all have what in common? 6. Whose Middle Names Are 'Peter George St John De Baptiste De La Salle'? 7. Which White Motown Singer/Songwriter Had Hits With 'Indiana Wants Me' & 'Theres A Ghost In My House'? 8. Which Controversial Star Had A No.1 Hit With 'Stan'? 9. Ub40's 'Red Red Wine' Was From Which Album? 10. Which Member Of The Monkees Went On To Front 'The First National Band'? 11. Which Saxophonist Was Known As Bird? 12. In 1996 which Celine Dion album won Grammy album of year?

abajo-de

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Fill It In

Friday, May 18, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY Priceless Pudsey wags tail of unity

THERE’s was great canine solidarity in my household when Ashleigh and Pudsey were declared winners of last Saturday’s excellent Britain’s Got Talent final. I was rooting for them all the way and at the moment they were declared victors, I shouted a loud ‘yes!’ … and my dog started barking. Perhaps not a good idea, as I was watching a recording of the show at 3am on Sunday! The BGT final gave ITV 1 the biggest TV audience of the year so far, and it was top-draw entertainment, with not a duff act in sight. I’m sure that Simon Cowell will be handing out recording deals left, right and centre and that Pudsey will become an international star with his lovely owner, Ashleigh. The judges were great, featuring the hilarious David xx Walliams bromance with

with ALEX TRELINSKI Simon, but despite a terrific final, I thought we seriously lacked variety with the acts throughout the whole series, which was another reason I was pleased that Pudsey won. BGT is easily my favourite contestant show in the UK, and rumours of Cowell’s decline have been seriously exaggerated. A point that ITV bosses need to take account of, if they are continuing to displease Cowell over a lack

So bromantic: David Walliams and Simon Cowell

CHARLIE Hunnam is Gavin, an apparently freewheeling guy who works as a hotel manager in Baton Rouge. Gavin is intrigued when a shy but curiously self-possessed young woman named Shana (Liv Tyler) comes to him for a job. Shana also happens to live a few doors down from the apartment Gavin shares with his roommate (Chris Gorham), and she's married to uptight religious freak Joe (Patrick Wilson), who proudly dispenses anti-gay rhetoric and other un-Jesuslike jibberjabber. Gavin doesn't care much for Joe, but Shana's sweetness and forthright demeanor attract him immediately. But let's not get ahead of ourselves: When we first meet

of support for him! The Walking Dead isn’t a documentary about the UK Liberal Democrats, but a zombie drama based on the comic book series, which returned to Channel Five for a second season on Monday night. There’s a very strong litmus test for me as to whether a drama will have some legs for a few years and that is simply whether the second series matches up to the freshness of the first run. I sadly remember how shows like Heroes or Shameless were fantastic early on, only to totally lose the plot. And here, Houston, we have something of a problem for The Walking Dead, as I bring you some very bad news but also some very joyous tidings. In case you haven’t seen the show, a Sheriff, played by Andrew Lincoln (yeh… .another Brit of the week in a lead US role, and light years away from the cheerful Egg in This Life) is in charge of a motley crew of folk trying to stay clear of virtually the rest of the American populus, who are walking around as if they’ve drunk too much Mahou beer and like substituting human meat for a good late-night kebab. So, what’s wrong with series two? After a cracking first episode, all the pace and action is oozed out of the show like an old miser trying to keep a tube of toothpaste going for longer than he should. I kid you not when I tell you

that for half a dozen episodes, absolutely nothing happens and you end up thinking that The Walking Dead has jumped the proverbial shark. It gets so, so slow, BUT the final five episodes completely take it back to the great standards of the first series, and there are some wonderful edge-of-the-seat moments. So my tip is to watch next Monday’s second episode, and then pick it up at episode eight. You won’t have missed anything, and then you’ll end up looking forward to series three, which has started shooting already. Staying in America, a quick word about Once upon a Time, which airs on a Sunday on Channel Five. For me, it’s easily passed another of my viewing tests, which is to keep me entertained after six episodes of its premiere season. It really is a delightful piece of television. It’s also one of the very few family friendly US dramas around, which makes Five’s treatment of it verge on bonkers, as the network keeps changing the start time most weeks. And that’s despite very good viewing figures! It seems to start at 7pm, 9pm or 10pm Spanish time, and in spite of this stupidity, the viewers are following it around, and seemingly enjoying it. Sad news, though, about the new Jason Isaacs drama, Awake, which started a fortnight ago on Sky Atlantic. Despite great reviews, it

Legal eagles: Silk stars Martha Costello and Neil Stuke won’t be back for a second run due to poor viewing figures, the same fate suffered by the totally bonkers, but enjoyable for all the wrong reasons, Ringer, which was meant to re-start the TV career of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Also gone is Alcatraz, which after two good episodes, quickly lost all interest and its viewers. The BBC 1 legal drama, Silk, was one of my favourite new shows of last year, and it’s great that a new run of six episodes kicked off on Tuesday, with Maxine Peake’s character, Martha Costello, now a QC. Peake, who I first noticed in the Victoria Wood comedy, Dinnerladies, before making waves as Veronica in Shameless, is terrific in the lead role, as you always root for Martha to do the business in and out of court. The supports are great, led by Neil Stuke as the slimy manipulative chief clerk, and it’s good to see Phil Davis as

one of the new cast members. A well produced legal drama is always an audience winner, and as somebody who was annoyed that Judge John Deed was pulled for no good reason a few years ago, I’m glad Silk has filled that courtroom gap in the BBC schedules. The BBC 2 comedy, Episodes, is back. Full of innuendo, rude words and filth, plus a very good take on the way American TV works. I love it, especially the first episode scene where Matt LeBlanc was being “looked after” in a home viewing theatre by the wife of his TV exec boss. Crude - but fun! Am I the only person who found Dennis Waterman’s views on women in his ITV1 Piers Morgan interview to be something out of the ark? He almost seemed to have timewarped back to the ‘70s as his Sweeney character, George Carter. Shame on him.

THE LEDGE 12 Gavin, he's creeping out toward the ledge of a very tall building, fully intending to leap. Hollis (Terrence Howard), a cop trained in dissuading potential jumpers, has been called out to the scene. Director Matthew Chapman and cinematographer Bobby Bukowski do a fine enough job of setting the stage for this battle of wills between a believer in overdrive and an atheist who protests a bit too much. The skirmishes

between believer Joe and doubter Gavin play out like Sunday school exercises. "What did God do to you to make you so angry at him?" Joe asks Gavin, adding a misasionary's cheerful crocodile smile, but only as an afterthought. Gavin feints and parries, but his heart doesn't seem to be fully in it, and later, when we find out the cause of his personal spiritual torture, we hear the whole sorry puzzle lock together with a loud

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"click." Yet for stretches of The Ledge, the actors make the material seem much more interesting than it is. Hunnam is a scruffy charmer who's nonetheless able to let bits of his soul shine through, and Tyler, now in her mid-30s, still has that breathy, luminous, innocent quality about her -somehow, her girlishness doesn't seem like a put-on. Howard, a terrific, underappreciated actor, doesn't have as many scenes as he should, but he's surprisingly subtle in his handling of the rather outlandish crisis Chapman invents for his character.

CAST: Charlie Hunnam, Terrence Howard, Liv Tyler, Patrick Wilson DIRECTOR: Matthew Chapman RATING: 3/5 RUNNING TIME: 101 min

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 01:20 01:25 01:55 02:55 03:55 04:55 05:00 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:30 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

This Week Holiday Weatherview Panorama Countryfile Antiques Roadshow Modern Spies Sport Today Newsday HARDtalk BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather Robbed, Raided, Reunited Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country BBC News; Weather Dick & Dom Go Wild Deadly 60 Bites Copycats Blue Peter Newsround Pointless BBC News Weather The One Show EastEnders Would I Lie to You? Have I Got News for You Not Going Out BBC News Regional News and Weather The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

The Town Taking on China BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools - Children at Work

07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:20 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Dipdap 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Eco 09:45 Big City Park 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:25 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Iconicles 11:20 Woolly & Tig 11:25 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Hands on Nature 14:30 Instant Restaurant 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Coast 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Maestro at the Opera 23:00 Episodes 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 Jackpot247 03:35 Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Poms in Paradise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Raw Deal

00:05 The Secret Millionaire 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys 02:10 Dispatches 03:05 Extreme A&E 04:00 Unreported World 04:25 Hidden Talent 05:20 A Guide to Taking a Photo 05:25 Deal or No Deal 06:20 Countdown 07:05 The Treacle People 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Secret Millionaire 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Restoration Man 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers 14:05 Channel 4 Racing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:30 Very Important People 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

RAW DEAL Action thriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mark Kaminski, a small-town sheriff who was forced out of the FBI for using excessive violence. Now the bureau wants him back to help apprehend ruthless Chicago gangster Luigi Patrovita.

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining. In other countries, how you'll feel about this afternoon could get you arrested and shot... at dawn, without a blindfold, and with a stinging sensation in the groin. Time is on your side, feel free to mix-it-up a little. In biscuits one can find sweet, sweet redemption. Especially when soaked in Rum.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 I do not think this horoscope means what you think it means. Overspending will find you slightly less well off this week. When aiming for greatness, set your sights to "better than greatness" When faced with a lifetime of trauma, please remember what your mother always told you.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 You must decide how to continue today, whether it's by questioning everything that happens or, instead, letting it all wash over you like the water from maiden's bathwater. Which may or may not be related to how important your questioning becomes. Everything will go wrong today. Including this horoscope.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Gambling with your possessions always seems like a good idea at the time. However, you should be aware that much of your meddling will eventually lead to a loss of limbs for someone. Find some candles, tonight will be filled with darkness. People say you make your own luck, but carrying around a sign that says "I'm needy and helpless" is probably not what they had in mind.

May 18

01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 Nick's Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Highland Emergency 13:45 Mexican Food Made Simple 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Jane Doe: Vanishing Act 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 Dirty Great Machines 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 Having had a taste of victory last week, this week may seem like the ideal opportunity to go wild. Spreading lies about colleagues or friends may see dwindling relationships with those around you. And, yes, of course I know that's obvious - but you're the one who's going to do it! Jesus will stalk you and kill your animals.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 All the advice I could share with you would blow your mind and leave nothing to the imagination. The future holds much joy and happiness for someone close to you. But not you. Oh no, you're screwed. Swollen ankles and sore knees are the best you can hope for today. Love makes the world go round, and peaches make a very nice accompaniment to sweetcorn.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Don't trust little birdies, they're renounded liars. Make yourself a coffee, sit down and read the internet. Hell, it's what you do everyday, right? Everything you've ever felt about anything will be tested today during some troubling moment in which you'll learn something about anything or everything.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 All the base that were belong to you are soon to be re-patriotised with their original owners. Catch-22 is better in at least 2 ways than Catch-20. Don't be caught in the Catch-20 loop - you're unlikely to ever see your family again. Office politics may cause problems for you today if you arrive with a comedy tie.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 The word "Terry" will be important today for reasons that are as perplexing to us as they will be to you. In fact, we estimate that 99.13% of all your confusion today will be caused by the very idea that "Terry" will be important, today. By agreeing to read this horoscope you may be bringing on yourself several levels of suffering and/or pleasure.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Eating well will dominate your life over the coming fortnight as you try hard to keep your liver from imploding. It probably seems unreal right now, but you are likely to meet a long-lost relative over the coming month or so. Banking on anyone this week? Don't let them let you down like they did me. I'm still picking up the pieces of a tattered life.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Today will be fraught with exciting wonderment and thrills for at least somebody you know. You're doing really well, keep it up! If you think you've got problems today, just wait until tomorrow! Cysts are a sign of overworking as much as anything else. Relax today whilst a loved one lances your soppiest boils.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Like your life, peanuts can be dried, roasted, blanched and put inside little potato coatings. Just like your life. You're a mug. You always have been and you always will be. Change, and your friends will stop liking you as much. The older you get the more you're starting to realise that everyone else is an idiot.

The Courier Saturday TV

May 19

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:35 The Matt Lucas Awards 01:10 EastEnders 03:05 Weatherview 03:10 Silk 04:10 Question Time 05:10 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 The Diamond Jubilee: Armed Forces Tribute 13:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:50 British Olympic Dreams 14:20 Triathlon 15:50 Gymnastics 17:20 A Question of Sport 17:50 Pointless Celebrities 18:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:00 My Family 19:30 The Voice UK 21:00 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 21:50 Casualty 22:40 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Kevin Bridges - The Story So Far 23:30 National Lottery Update

00:00 00:45 00:50 01:55 03:20 03:30 04:00 04:30

The Review Show Weather Later with Jools Holland Taken BBC News The Record Review BBC News Click

04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:15 Close 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Barney's Barrier Reef 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 The Slammer 10:30 The Ministry of Curious Stuff 11:00 Animals at Work 11:35 Splatalot 11:55 Copycats 12:25 OOglies 12:40 Eliot Kid 12:55 MOTD Kickabout 13:15 Great British Menu 13:45 Macbeth 15:30 Twelfth Night 17:40 Flog It! 18:40 Don't Panic! The Dad's Army Story 19:30 Dad's Army 20:00 You Have Been Watching David Croft 21:00 Cutty Sark: National Treasure Reopened 22:00 Off by Heart: Shakespeare 23:20 QI XL

01:30 ITV News Headlines 03:35 Unleashed 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Saturday Cookbook 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 The Real Housewives of New York City 13:20 Murder, She Wrote 14:20 The Planet's Funniest Animals 14:45 ITV News and Weather 14:49 Meridian Weather 14:50 Agatha Christie's Murder with Mirrors 16:40 From Russia with Love 18:45 Meridian News and Weather 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Keith Lemon's LemonAid 20:00 Live UEFA Champions League 23:25 ITV News and Weather 23:39 Meridian Weather 23:40 UEFA Champions League Highlights

QI XL Stephen Fry presents an extended edition of the show celebrating the Cultural Olympiad, asking Bill Bailey, David Mitchell, Sue Perkins and regular panellist Alan Davies questions about renowned playwright Shakespeare.

00:10 Stand Up for the Week 00:55 Team America: World Police 02:40 Random Acts 02:45 My Name Is Earl 03:05 My Name Is Earl 03:25 Dirty Sexy Money 04:10 Dirty Sexy Money 04:50 St Elsewhere 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 British F3 08:05 FIM World Superbikes 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 The TV Book Club 10:25 Shooting Cheryl 11:00 Made in Chelsea 12:05 The Big Bang Theory 12:35 The Big Bang Theory 13:10 The Simpsons 13:45 The Simpsons 14:20 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Deal or No Deal 17:55 Come Dine with Me 18:50 Channel 4 News 19:00 4thought.tv 19:05 Titanic 22:45 Rush Hour 3

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Nick's Quest 05:45 Nick's Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 City of Friends 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:15 Family! 08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:10 Mio Mao 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Rupert Bear 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:35 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 The Gadget Show: World Tour 12:10 Emergency Bikers 13:10 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 14:10 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment 15:55 The Witches 17:45 Dr Dolittle 2 19:30 Ultimate Police Interceptors 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Cricket on 5 20:55 NCIS 21:50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22:40 CSI: NY 23:40 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

The Courier Sunday TV

May 20

00:30 The Football League Show 01:15 Kevin & Perry Go Large 02:30 Weatherview 02:35 On the Road With 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Sunday Politics 14:00 Bargain Hunt 14:30 Penguin Island 15:00 Tiger - Spy in the Jungle 16:00 The Queen's Palaces 17:00 Lifeline 17:10 Points of View 17:25 Songs of Praise 18:00 Chelsea Flower Show 2012 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:25 Countryfile 20:25 The Voice UK 21:00 Planet Earth Live 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:05 Hamlet 2

01:30 A Cock and Bull Story 03:00 Close 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Barney's Barrier Reef 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 08:40 The Owl 09:05 Scoop 09:30 Wingin' It 09:50 Shaun the Sheep 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Athletics 13:30 Live MotoGP 15:00 Boxing 16:30 Athletics 18:00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:45 Flog It! 19:10 Deep Impact 21:00 Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 22:00 Coast 23:00 Man on Wire

00:40 Bonnie and Clyde 02:35 ITV News Headlines 02:35 The Store 04:40 In Plain Sight 05:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Dinner Date 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Ade in Britain 11:30 May the Best House Win 12:30 Long Lost Family 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:34 Meridian Weather 13:35 Dickinson's Real Deal 14:35 Murder, She Wrote 15:40 Columbo: Now You See Him 17:30 The Hungry Sailors 18:30 You've Been Framed! 19:00 Harry Hill's TV Burp 19:25 Meridian News and Weather 19:40 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 21:00 Vera 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 10,000 BC

10,000 BC Prehistoric adventure from the director of The Day after Tomorrow and 2012, starring Steven Strait and Camilla Belle. Young mammoth hunter D'Leh and a group of fellow warriors embark on a continent-spanning quest when their settlement is attacked by a band of marauding slave drivers and D'Leh's lover is kidnapped. The journey is long and perilous as the young men encounter all manner of ferocious creatures, including sabre-toothed tigers and monster birds.

00:30 Rude Tube 01:35 Stand Up for the Week 02:20 Bad News Bears 04:05 Milton Jones's House of Rooms 04:30 Hallo Panda 05:00 St Elsewhere 05:50 Smallville 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freesports on 4 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Sunday Brunch 13:15 The Big Bang Theory 13:45 The Big Bang Theory 14:15 The Simpsons 14:45 The Simpsons 15:20 Bride & Prejudice 17:30 Bandslam 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 4thought.tv 20:05 Four Rooms 21:00 Celebrity Deal or No Deal 22:00 Channel 4's Comedy Gala

00:35 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:35 SuperCasino 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 Great Artists 05:50 Rough Guide To 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:40 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family! 08:35 Noddy in Toyland 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 Mio Mao 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 Grey's Anatomy 12:15 The Restaurant Inspector 13:15 Murder at the Gallop 14:55 Free Willy 2: the Adventure Home 16:45 TinkerBell and the Great Fairy Rescue 18:05 Hercules 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 Once Upon a Time 22:00 Norway Massacre: The Survivors 23:00 Perfect Stranger

The Courier Monday TV

May 21

00:10 Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy 01:40 Weatherview 01:45 Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission 02:45 Holby City 03:45 Witness to Auschwitz 04:15 Antiques Road Trip 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cash in the Attic 12:43 BBC News; Weather 12:45 Bargain Hunt 13:30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; 16:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 16:35 Deadly 60 Bites 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Chatsworth 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:30 01:00 01:30 03:15 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 07:00

Episodes Grandma's House Sugar Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Close The Pingu Show

07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:30 Leon 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Eco 09:45 Big City Park 09:55 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Hands on Nature 14:30 Instant Restaurant 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 TOTP2 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 22:00 The Fish Market: Inside Billingsgate 23:00 Sounds of the 70s 2 23:30 Weather

01:05 ITV News Headlines 03:10 River Monsters 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 56 Up 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Knocked Up

KNOCKED UP Romantic comedy starring Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl. Alison Scott's career as a television journalist is going from strength to strength. Out on the town to celebrate a promotion, she ends up in bed with amiable slacker Ben Stone and their one-night stand results in an unexpected pregnancy that turns Alison's world upside down.

00:35 The Inbetweeners 01:10 The Inbetweeners 01:40 Do Dooni Chaar 03:35 Hollyoaks 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:10 One Million Years BC 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Gok Cooks Chinese 22:00 The Secret Millionaire 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

01:10 The Walking Dead 02:30 SuperCasino 05:00 The FBI Files 05:50 Rough Guide to Eco Escapes 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Highland Emergency 13:45 Mexican Food Made Simple 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Murder in Greenwich 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 The Gadget Show: World Tour 22:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 23:00 The Walking Dead 23:55 Shrooms

The Courier Tuesday TV

May 22

00:05 Silk 01:05 The Graham Norton Show 01:55 Weatherview 02:00 Rowing the Arctic 03:00 Antiques Road Trip 03:45 Great British Railway Journeys 04:15 Great British Menu 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cash in the Attic 12:43 BBC News; Weather 12:45 Bargain Hunt 13:30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; 16:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 16:35 Deadly 60 Bites 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Who Let the Dogs Out? 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Silk 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Matt Lucas Awards

00:20 The Lost World of the Seventies 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday

04:15 The Super League Show 05:00 Schools - The Charles Dickens Show: Workhouse 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Eco 09:45 Big City Park 09:55 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Hands on Nature 14:30 Instant Restaurant 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 TOTP2 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 22:00 Great Ormond Street 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

01:55 Jackpot247 04:00 Champions League Weekly 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Trash to Treasure 21:00 Martin Clunes - Horsepower 22:00 Dirty Britain 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Celebrity Juice

MY BIG FAT FETISH The lives of four overweight women who have chosen not to diet, and have instead attracted online followings of men who pay to watch them eat. Lizzie, a woman from Leeds, travels to America to take part in a photoshoot for a website run by 29st model Reenaye, while dental assistant Kitt discusses how she and her boyfriend find sexual pleasure from her weight gains.

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 00:55 4thought.tv 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 The Hoarder Next Door 02:05 Khayal Gatha 03:50 Faintheart 05:15 Mesh 05:20 Veronique 05:25 The Fishmonger 05:30 Smallville 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers: Waste Not Want Not 13:35 River Cottage 13:50 How to Steal a Million 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents 21:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 22:00 Hidden Talent 23:00 My Big Fat Fetish

01:35 The World of Stupid Criminals 02:05 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Nick's Quest 05:45 Nick's Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Highland Emergency 13:45 Mexican Food Made Simple 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Murder 101: College Can Be Murder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Dirty Great Machines 21:00 War Hero in My Family 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 CSI: NY

The Courier Wednesday TV

May 23

00:10 Ghost Town 01:50 Weatherview 01:55 The Apprentice 02:55 Horizon 03:55 Antiques Road Trip 04:40 Great British Railway Journeys 05:10 Great British Menu 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cash in the Attic 12:43 BBC News; Weather 12:45 Bargain Hunt 13:30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 16:35 Deadly 60 Bites 17:00 Copycats 17:30 HH: Gory Games 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 21:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 National Lottery Update

00:20 The Great Euro Crash with Robert Peston 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Schools - Counting with Rodd

06:00 Schools - The Bloodhound Adventure 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Eco 09:45 Big City Park 09:55 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Lifeline 14:40 Coast 14:45 Hands on Nature 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 TOTP2 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 22:00 Hitler's Children 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired 23:30 Newsnight

00:20 Nature's Fury: Fire Storm 01:15 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Unforgettable 21:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Soccer Aid 2012

SOCCER AID 2012 New series. Cat Deeley presents the build-up to the charity football match in aid of Unicef, which will be staged at Old Trafford, and chats to pop star Robbie Williams and Hollywood actor Mike Myers, who are hoping to feature for the respective England and Rest of the World teams. Plus, a report from Keira Knightley, who visited Chad to see how the money raised is utilised.

00:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:05 4thought.tv 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Poker 02:20 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:45 Sailing 03:15 The Grid 03:40 British F3 04:05 Freesports on 4 05:00 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Golf 05:05 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 06:00 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Ma Bar 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 River Cottage 13:50 Helen of Troy 16:05 Channel 4 Presents 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Secret Eaters 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 The Killing 23:55 2 Broke Girls

00:55 CSI: Miami 01:50 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Nick's Quest 05:45 Nick's Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Highland Emergency 13:45 Mexican Food Made Simple 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Abducted 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 The Gadget Show: World Tour 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

The Courier Thursday TV

May 24

01:10 Weatherview 01:15 See Hear 01:45 The 70s 02:45 Great Ormond Street 03:45 Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 04:15 Postcode Lottery 05:00 Great British Menu 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cash in the Attic 12:43 BBC News; Weather 12:45 Bargain Hunt 13:30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Young Dracula 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Planet Earth Live 22:00 National Treasures - Jubilee Special 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 04:55 05:20

The Fall of Singapore BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools - Gang Life Schools - Gang Life

05:30 Schools - Legal Eagles 06:30 Schools - Making Media 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Eco 09:45 Big City Park 09:55 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Hands on Nature 14:30 Instant Restaurant 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 TOTP2 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 22:00 The Fish Market 23:00 Grandma's House 23:30 Weather

00:05 The Unforgettable 00:35 Total Emergency 01:35 ITV News Headlines 03:35 The Three Musketeers 05:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Soccer Aid 2012

24 HOURS IN A&E The stories of children and teenagers brought into A&E and one of the department's newest recruits, emergency medicine trainee Matt. A 16-year-old has suspected spinal injuries after being thrown from her horse and crushed against a fence, and consultant Jacqui Butler treats a four-year-old with a fish bone stuck in his tonsils from his lunchtime curry.

00:25 Desperate Housewives 01:25 4thought.tv 01:30 Random Acts 01:35 Paralympic World Cup 02:35 Spotlight 02:50 Dot Rotten: Intro 03:05 4Play 03:25 Mercury Prize Sessions 03:40 Launched at Red Bull Studios 03:50 What's Fufu? 03:55 St Elsewhere 04:45 Smallville 05:25 The Astronomer's Sun 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers: Waste Not Want Not 13:35 River Cottage 13:50 Mr Hobbs Takes a Vacation 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Channel 4 Presents 21:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 22:00 The Hoarder Next Door 23:00 24 Hours in A&E

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:55 Poker: The Big Game 01:50 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Nick's Quest 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Highland Emergency 13:45 Chinese Food in Minutes 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 McBride: Requiem 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 The True Story 22:00 The Restaurant Inspector 23:00 Conspiracy Theory

Friday, May 18, 2012

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Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata. Close to all amenities and beach. 3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 78, Three Bedroom Quad house in Jarden Del Mar. Close to all amenities, bars, shops, restaurants. €425pcm Call 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, May 18, 2012 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis. The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Excellent cover for your house and home, includes travel assistance for when you go away. Interesting prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant. Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis

courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace,

DAMP PROOFING

solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof- top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course. Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked. Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80.

€234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium. Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant. Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic

communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more. 125.000 Euros Ref No. K23. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons. Greenland Views and all local amenities close by. Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Gran Alacant south-facing, very private villa, with woodland and Alicante views. Situated at the end of a small cul-de-sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and storage in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to its orientation of this property

enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant detached villa with converted under build and pool. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge- Diner, Front Porch, Large Solarium, decoratively tiled, Irrigated Garden. BBQ and Log Storage Cupboard. Raised walls for Privacy. Also many extras, toldos blinds, freshly decorated interior, Grills, Mosquito Nets, Air Con H/C, Ceiling Fans, Log Burner Fire, Electric Radiators, Heated Towel Rails, Alarmed, Phone Line, Satellite UK TV, private parking. Plot size 310m2 under build 100m2. price includes all furniture.The under build consists of 2 beds, lounge, kit/utility room. ref L79. €250,000 Tel. 680333242

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Friday, May 18, 2012

Gran Alacant beautiful detached villa with very large pool and within walking distance to the Gran Alacant Commercial Centre. This villa comprised of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner, Independent kitchen, roof top storage, solarium, porch & terrace. Large private pool, BBQ area, established gardens and private terraces, Private Parking, Solarium with Views to Alicante. 450m2 plot, fully furnished including white goods. Located in very quiet desirable road. ref.L96. €255,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low maintenance very private gardens with irrigation system, electronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section. Within easy walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and close to local bus and tram route. Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242

Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever constructed- Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 ensuit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room. Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation system and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref. K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Limited edition bungalow. Only six of this type available in Gran Alacant. Constructed in 2003 and immaculately maintained on a large plot size of 500m2 with a 10 x 5 pool.Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner leading out onto front porch, independent kitchen including white goods, outside galleria, court yard, large garage with

LOCKSMITH

electric door, roof top solarium and private parking. Also built in wardrobes, Toldos blinds, air con H/C, security grills, alarm, security doors, bathrooms heaters, outside toilet, outdoor lighting, irrigation system, attractive and well kept gardens, beautifully tiled inside and out, fire place, English TV, phone line. Being sold with top quality furniture. ref L95. €275,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceiling fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk-in shower, fitted wardrobes. Decorative tiling inside and out. Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, established gardens, water features and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods. Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house

MOBILE CAR REPAIRS

Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc. The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 € 198,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale. Briefly comprising of: 2

PAVING

Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking. The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot,

built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local amenities such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach. Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof-top solarium. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large decorative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, corner property in Don Pueblo with no expense spared, comprising of 3 double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 decoratively tiled bathrooms, very large independent kitchen with galleria. Included in the price are all kitchen appliances such as large fridge freezer, washing machine, dishwasher, microwave to name just a few. There is a huge lounge complete with chimney, plus large fully transformed under build,and small workshop. Front and rear private garden area, secure underground garage, tennis courts, football pitch and communal pools. Ref. K14 €209,00 Tel 680333242

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Friday, May 18, 2012 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park. Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, independent kitchen, full roof-top solarium with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Rare investment!! corner south facing opportunity on Novamar urbanisation.This immaculate ground floor duplex has been kept and maintained to

REMOVALS

a very high standard inside and out the position is fantastic, enjoys views over the lovely oasis communal pool, surrounded by lawned gardens. Comprising of plot size 100m2 Build Size 90m2, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, AntiGlare Windows, Security Door, Security Grills, Built-in Wardrobes, Extra Storage, Galleria, Electric Panel Heaters, Heated Towel Rails, Air Con (h&c), Ceiling. Fans. Thermo Shower, Vanity Units and decoratively tiled throughout, exquisite garden, Underground private parking. Ref.K10 €139,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped

kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €198,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road

parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 532: 3 Bedroom Detached villa Located on the edge of a small spanish village with 3,800 sqm of landscaped gardents, Private Pool, Bargain €180,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 533: Lovley 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta

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Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equiped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, May 18, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

ALL SYSTEMS SLOW

I WAS slouched in front of a TV on Sunday afternoon flicking channels, watching Grand Prix (dull until the fire), Premiership climax (slightly exhilarating for those who view Man City with affection) and then the The Players Championship at Sawgrass (distressingly dreary). I say distressing because (1) Matt Kuchar is never going to excite anybody, bless him and (2) Kevin Na is going not only to drive himself mad but also everyone who plays with him. You had to feel sorry for the man whose body quirks, 17 club wiggles, mental hurdles and all-round oddness when performing the demanding task of standing over a golf ball dramatically underline the thought that eventually this game does drive everybody somewhere dark and mysterious. Commentators’ repeated declarations that Kevin Na (we hardly heard of him before) now needs to retreat for a while and "sort himself out" is spot on - but it is also easier said than done. Mental illness is like that...swift to arrive and often

It’s mind over Matt in TIPS OF THE WEEK Short Game Tip the Sunday Sawgrass Escape Every Bunker Common Fault

It often takes you two shots to escape bunkers. Your distance control and range of shots from bunkers is letting you down.

Tip Fix Heads I lose....Kevin Na is driving everyone mad

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK You’ve turned into your Dad the day when you save a thin piece of wood just to stir the paint with. very slow to leave. And, yes, it is some form of mental illness that Kevin is suffering. You don't need to be a psychiatrist to know that a vital part of his brain is not operating properly and that he needs some sort of therapy to repair it. I remember Sergio Garcia having a time warning because of the high number of times he gripped and regripped his club, before making a shot. The extraordinary thing is that after stepping away from his shot several times and occasionally shouting at himself to "just pull the trigger" he more often than not then struck a very decent blow indeed. Kuchar deserves the highest praise for standing

patiently alongside this freakish show for minutes at a time but managing to cocoon himself in his own world. Retaining concentration playing alongside Na must be one of the brain-numbing things in golf. But while I hope that Kevin is sorted out sooner rather than later, I hope also that the feeble chorus each year for the TPC to be recognised as the "fifth Major" goes away forever. Why? Well, America already has one more Major than they deserve and if and when another is added then it must be sited somewhere

in the Southern Hemisphere. Not only that, Sawgrass is an interesting course but it is interesting in a weird, canyou-believe-it sort of way. The 17th is a prime example of this thought, a fluffy/barbed-wire hole that can make a mockery of any shot, no matter how well judged and struck. There is simply too much luck involved at Sawgrass for it ever to play host to any Major, or is it me? All this Mickey Mouse layout does is encourage men who already play golf too slowly to grind down even more. This general slowness is hurting the game hugely, often reducing what should be a TV spectacle to something closer to a bucket of Horlicks. Played at a reasonable pace, pro golf offers comforting time for reflection as well as the ability to make a cup of tea without missing too much action. But played at the pace of this latest TPC, it allows time to prepare a

banquet. Until, and if, the authorities start handing out stroke penalties rather than daft fines some self-absorbed players will continue to exasperate everyone. Players should be penalised a single shot for a ‘bad time’ when they are on the clock, therefore making it a far bigger deterrent than the current cash punishments, estimated at between $5,000 and $10,000. It’s very simple. If you get a warning, you get a penalty. I think that would speed it up, Strokes are money. One shot can be the difference between first and second. How much is the difference between first and second $800,000? I would take the five thousand over the 800k. That one shot, that’s the difference, that’s what people don’t realise, that one shot is so valuable. For goodness sake get on with it.

One of the most regular faults are players who try to dig their ball out of the bunker, taking far too much sand. Take a moment to watch the best players in the world and you'll notice how shallow the angle of clubhead attack is. They might hit the sand half an inch before the ball, but they only take a thin sliver of sand through impact. You will find that your ball position helps this. Make sure that it is forward in your stance at address, in line with your left heel. This will promote the ideal shallow angle of attack and will help you find the perfect contact more regularly.

Groove a rock solid grip

Drill to improve your grip

To see how effective your grip is firstly you need to test it. Hit five balls consecutively without adjusting your hands on the club between shots. At the end, check the position of the clubface and if it’s not perfectly square to the target, use the folA BEAR WALKS INTO THE CLUBHOUSE BAR AND ASKS lowing drill. THE STEWARD FOR A BEER. THE STEWARD SAYS, Place a tee peg between ''SORRY, WE DON'T GIVE BEER TO BEARS IN BARS.'' your left hand and the THE BEAR REPLIES, ''IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A BEER, top of the shaft, as I'LL EAT THAT LADY OVER THERE.'' shown. Again, hit a THE BAR STEWARD SAYS, ''GO AHEAD.'' series of shots ensuring SO THE BEAR EATS THE LADY AND ASKS FOR A BEER. that the tee remains in THE STEWARD SAYS, ''SORRY, WE DON'T GIVE BEER place. This simple drill TO BEARS ON DRUGS.'' should help you groove ''WHAT DO YOU MEAN?'' SAYS THE BEAR. ''I'M NOT ON a far more solid, effecDRUGS.'' tive grip. ''YES, YOU ARE, THAT WAS THE BAR-BIT-U-ATE.''

TITTER ON THE TEE

Friday, May 18, 2012

Ferd class? Journeyman Phil is just a jack Jones WHAT on earth is all the fuss about? I told you last week that Andy Carroll is the best thing since sliced bread and that it would be better to leave Rio Ferdinand at home! Just pay more attention to the Bottmeister in future and you won't go far wrong. No surprises with the sacking of Kenny Dalglish at Liverpool, either. I wonder which unfortunate will be the next to try a taste of Scouse boss? Guaranteed to provide indigestion! Roberto Martinez at Wigan is apparently a top contender and the Liverpool board would no doubt love to persuade Pep Guardiola to come out of his temporary retirement. Andre Villas-Boas has also had talks with Liverpool intermediaries but is unlikely to land the job after his short and tempestuous reign at Chelsea. So, what do we reckon to the rest of Roy Hodgson's England squad selection? I WAS surprised that there was no room for Aaron Lennon or Adam Johnson. That leaves the squad a bit thin on right wingers although I suppose Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and

James Milner can perform there after a fashion. Phil Jones, who Hodgson repeatedly used as the excuse for leaving out Ferdinand during his press conference the other day, has still not convinced me he is anywhere near the player Manchester United paid £20m for. A jack of all trades and master of none so far. Let's hope he proves me wrong. Micah Richards is a proven player in the right back and centre back roles and can count himself extremely unfortunate not to be included. There may still be a place for him, though, if the injury to Scott Parker rules him out. No worries about John Ruddy and O x l a d e Chamberlain. A couple of new faces are always refreshing and especially so in young Alex’s case. Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has brought him along gently so he will be raring to go and he could be a revelation in the Euros. Surprisingly, too, I have no problem with Hodgson allowing Norwich goalkeeper Ruddy leave of absence before he has started so he can get married on the day England are due to play Belgium. Roy is right in saying we have

Joe Hart and Robert Green to utilise, but let's hope neither gets injured before the big day - or Ruddy may have a ruddy big row looming with his intended before he has started there, too! Back to Ferdinand, and while I have long been an admirer of the Man United centre-back, it is true he has been injury prone in recent years and the quick turnover of games during the month or so of the Euros would not have suited Rio. His reputation means he would always be selected if anywhere near fit and I doubt whether he would have been up to it at the rate required in Poland and the Ukraine. I have no doubt that if he did declare a reluctance to play alongside John Terry because of the race allegations against the latter in relation to Ferdinand's brother Anton, it might well have played a part in Hodgson's decision. If so he left the right man at home. Ferdinand's problem. Terry is innocent until proven guilty. Making Steven Gerrard captain was the only choice for Hodgson. It will relieve the pressure on Terry and is a sensible move as Gerrard and Hodgson have worked together before, albeit briefly at Liverpool. Oh, and by the way, I was 57 yesterday. Thanks for all the cards! See you next week!

ALL A-BROAD FOR SIX-HIT ENGLAND

STUART Broad revelled in a great day for him and England as the hosts took charge of the first Investec Test against West Indies at Lord's. The paceman claimed six for 72 as the tourists were limited to 243 for nine on day one, with only Shivnarine Chanderpaul providing meaningful resistance with his 87 not out off 175 balls. Broad told Sky Sports: "It's a very proud day for me and more importantly we're in a great position in the Test match. "No one was expecting 100 all out, we knew it was going to be a long day's cricket, so we had to be patient and we thought seven down at night would be a really good day, so to have them nine down is really pleasing. "It swung for us but it was a slow wicket to start with. It was hard to get the right length, but the wicket quickened up a bit in that last session. That second

new ball was quite nice to bowl with, so that's something to be careful of when we bat tomorrow.Stuart Broad and the rest of England's famed pace attack had to earn their successes on an attritional first day of the Test series against West Indies. Chanderpaul (87 not out) and Adrian Barath made Broad (six for 72) work hardest as the ball swung all day under cloud cover but only occasionally helped the seamers off the pitch. The upshot was a stumps total of 243 for nine for the tourists, thanks to their habitual top runscorer and some acceptable support down the order.

Stuart Broad: Six of the best

THIS weekend ITV Orihuela RFC will be hold the Alicante 7’s at the Polidepotivo in Orihuela by the palm trees with the top teams of the area playing, La Vila, AKRA, Alicante Uni, Elche and Orihuela RFC at senior, U19 and U17’s with La Vila bringing down some of their

first team professionals. Over the following weekends after the 7’s at Orihuela will be followed by Elche the on 26 May, the same weekend as the Benidorm 7’s. On 2 June there will also be the Alan Davies as well in Elche. Then the Murcia 7’s on 9 June starting at 10.00.

Friday, May 18, 2012

SAM YOU WIN

Bubbling Hammers set to take the Holloway route back to Prem BIG Sam Allardyce takes a huge step towards silencing his critics tomorrow when he leads West Ham into their biggest and potentially most lucrative game ever against Blackpool at Wembley tomorrow. Allardyce won plaudits galore for the job he did at Bolton and also managed Blackpool between 1994 and 1996 before a sacking that still rankles. Now, as boss of West Ham, he has the opportunity to take a big club back into the Premier League after another humiliating experience with Newcastle United not too long ago raised question marks about his managerial skills. Hammers legend Alan Devonshire, one of the team that won the FA Cup in 1980 after a Trevor Brooking header saw off Arsenal, is backing Sam to taste victory again at Wembley. Allardyce has won in a play-off final before and Devonshire declared: "This club deserves to be in the Premier League and the fans deserve it too - so hopefully Big Sam and the boys can do it."

STEVE BOTT reports

Devonshire was backed up by former Bolton, Luton, Portsmouth and current West Ham player Matt Taylor, who said: "I don't think anyone will need calming down. I think we all ultimately know the importance of the game but we want to make sure we go about things in the right manner and continue from what we have done in the past eight to ten weeks on the pitch. "Everybody is going to be nervous, it's arguably the biggest club game in terms of money - I think someone was talking about £90 million. “We all know what is at stake. We all know we want to get back into the Premier League, but Blackpool are going to be thinking and wanting to do exactly the same thing." "We are both in the same position. Both teams got relegated last season and both teams would like to bounce back at the first opportunity. One of us is going to do so and hopefully it will be us. "Blackpool are a good football team and they are there on merit. They had a really good end to the season and I watched the second leg of their play-off semi-final against Birmingham and they played good football. So it is going to be a very tough afternoon.’’. Blackpool's Stephen Dobbie aims to spoil the Hammers

party and make it a hat-trick of personal play-off successes. The Scottish hitman has been a play-off final winner with Swansea and Blackpool and said: "I'm here to help the boys achieve something and if it ends in me winning at Wembley again that would be great." It's all about winning and getting into the Premier league and Blackpool boss Ian Holloway knows more than most about all that. He led the Seasiders into the promised land two years ago and now has the opportunity to do it again after a season back in the Championship. But Holloway reckons the trick is to stay in the big league for a year or two, not just flit back in and out. Asked about the great achievements of newcomers Norwich and Swansea in the Premier League this season Holloway said: "It’s next season that will be the big test for them." Personally I reckon it’s the one after that and the one after that. Wigan and Bolton have done it in style with 10 and seven years in the Premier League behind them. Bolton have gone down now but their former manager Allardyce, who did most to help the Trotters to all that success, is aiming to ride way up high again with the Hammers tomorrow.