The Courier Week 67 by TKO UK

Edition 67

www.thecourier.es

Friday, June 01, 2012

SHOWDOWN! Torrevieja peddlers in stand-off with cops AMANDA BLACK reports A GROUP of more than 50 subSaharan men peddling counterfeit goods clashed with police in Torrevieja on Wednesday. The stand-off lasted for over an hour, with the Policia Local calling in all its available officers before turning to the Guardia Civil for help as the situation threatened to escalate out of control. At one point 30 police officers and almost a dozen patrol cars descended on the area by the tourist office where the men had congregated, shouting and threatening police. The trigger was the attempted arrest of

Lorente set to return in new Orihuela twist

MONICA LORENTE looks set to govern Orihuela from the opposition as the Town Hall power battle took a new twist last night (Thursday). The much anticipated coup began in earnest as we were going to press when the PP faction presented an urgent vote to the full council that would allow them to take over the running of the municipality. The move will allow ex-mayor BEACHED: An illegal salesman meets his match Lorente to change all the management committees of Orihuela and one of the street sellers by the new Grupo de resume power from opposition. RefuerzoOperativo (GRS) de la Policía This could be the end game in a Local, otherwise known as the ‘men in black’ power struggle that has been going on because of their uniforms. Other sellers intervened to prevent the IT’S been evident for a long time that Courier adver- since the results of the last election tising pays - and more and more major companies were announced. arrest and a chase ensued. Voters left the PP one seat short of Several of the street sell- are realising that the fastest-growing free newspaa majority - and they were kept from ers threatened police with per on the Costas is the place to be. The bad news is that because of the enormous stones as the two groups power only after all the other parties demand for space from advertisers throughout confronted each other. clubbed together to govern in a shaky Eventually the street sell- Spain, some submitted reports have had to be held coalition fraught with difficulties. ers disbanded, drifting back over this week, and the length of one or two regular British councillor Bob Houliston has to the bars in La Punta area features reduced. been at the centre of much manoeuBut don’t worry, you’ll still find lots to enjoy inside. vring and last week he met with close to the flats where many Like our news service from the local community plus of them live. Lorente and her PP party to discuss Police agents and legiti- both the Spanish and UK national press. Then forming a new government for the mate stallholders fear that a there’s our top team of columnists including Tony coast. It is not yet clear how this partrepeat of the clash may end Mayes and Grumpy Old Gran. And much, much nership has developed and what role more... more violently. Houliston will play in the future.

SIMPLY THE BEST!

Friday, June 01, 2012

Who said fangs ain’t what they used to be? TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

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We won’t be intimidated, vows Houliston after graffiti outrage UNDER-fire councillor Bob Houliston is facing a new gutter campaign to oust him from Orihuela politics – the daubing of crude graffiti on the walls and gates of his home. The slogans alongside appeared after last week’s controversial meeting between Houliston’s CLARO faction and the former PP government, which some believe will lead to a new ruling coalition. Says defiant Houliston: “This is similar to the anti-democratic disruptions of the Plenary in March when I voted for a PP motion. CRUDE: The graffiti outside Bob Houliston’s home CLARO will not be intimidatThomas Cook, Saga and ed by these demonstrations made it to the top-three economic situation in the were shortlist along with Tokyo and country as only “a small risk”. Jet2holidays.com, of political intolerance.’’ BRITISH Consul Paul among those who discussed SPAIN may be on the Istanbul, and the Spanish Rodwell met with everything from lost passverge of economic col- capital received the highest lapse but the International score of the three. around 40 representatives ports to volcanic ash with Mr In one of the most opti- from top UK tourism compa- Rodwell. Olympic Committee thinks it is a relatively safe bet to host mistic assessments of the nies to discuss how they After the meeting, the the 2020 Olympic Games. state of Spain’s finances this could work together to help Consul said: “It is essential to The Madrid 2020 bid has week, the IOC described the Brits in trouble. work closely with tourism partners to be able to give the best possible support to distressed British nationals. STATE security agencies last week Cordoba because “they were ruled by The holiday company representatives speak to hundreds intercepted an internal communica- Muslims” and to “restore Al-Andalus”. tion from an Al Qaeda linked group The group is believed to have seized of British tourists every day threatening terrorist action to restore Libyan weaponry with the fall of Gaddafi. and it is important that they large parts of Spain to Muslim rule. Spanish security officials said the understand fully the role of The Ansar al-Din jihadists called for the threat was real and that Spain remains a the Consulate and what to do release of Granada, Valencia, Seville and leading target of Al Qaeda. in an emergency and can

New jihad threat to Spain

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Friday Partly cloudy High 28° Low 18° Chance of rain 0% Monday Partly cloudy High 27° Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 26° Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Partly cloudy High 29° Low 19° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 28° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

pass this information on to their customers.’’ JULIO IGLESIAS has been accused of making a mockery of the law after scheduling a concert just 300 metres from a Spanish court that has supposedly been seeking his appearance in relation to a corruption case for two years. The Miami-based singer had been deemed “untraceable” by the Valencia court, and therefore not called to testify. But with Iglesias in concert a stone’s throw from the court, the United Left accused him of “making a mockery of the law”. The case centres on payments of almost six million euros for Iglesias concerts in Orlando and Mexico in 1998 and 1999 made by the Valencia government through the Valencia Institute of Exportation (Ivex). Former Ivex director José María Tarbes, was later provisionally charged with embezzlement and financial crimes. He fled to Japan in 2006 and the court failed to call Iglesias to testify after declaring him “untraceable”.

Sunday Partly cloudy High 32° Lo 20° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Cloudy High 27° Lo 19° Chance of rain 3%

Friday, June 01, 2012

Now ITV come hunting for the Best House.... ITV1’s hugely popular daytime show May The Best House Win is to follow in the footsteps of Come Dine With Me – and film up to TEN episodes in Spain A spokesman for the programme told The Courier: “We are really keen to find English-speaking contributors who would like to show off their home and compare it to others in their region with the chance to win 1,000 euros along the way. “We’re after a variety of houses to include - from self-built bungalows to big refurbishments and colour-themed flats to villas filled with artefacts. “Anything goes really, but what we need are people who are passionate about their home and are interested in a bit of fun competition by inviting three others to judge their home and in turn going to their houses and giving their opinions. If you are interested, email BestHouseSpain@ shiver-productions.co.uk as soon as possible

Mummy’s girl: Sam Boneham with Kittie

Quesada gives the mums-up to new baby group HAVING babies in Spain within the last year has forged a special bond between Sam Boneham and Kerry Quinn. They also had the same vibes from their birth experience – one of sheer delight at the hospital care they received. It also taught them that, where new parents in the Quesada area are concerned, something important has been missing. And that is somewhere where they and their

By DONNA GEE little ones can meet and mingle with other mums in a similar position. So, next Thursday (June 7) Sam and Kerry, who both live in Rojales, are launching a FREE weekly Mother and Baby group at the Studio Fitness and Dance, where they are being sponsored by Sasen Ryu Karate. Mother and Baby activities start at 1.30pm and will run for approximately one hour. And Sam, whose daughter Kittie was born last July, believes the group will prove a godsend to many in a similar position to herself. She says: “We are not actually running the group as a business. The Studio have kindly let us use the room for free and all toys and equipment has been donated. “We will not be charging mothers to come and the group will offer a chance for mums to get together to offer support and advice to each other. “Depending on the amount of interest, we will start having special sessions such as baby massage and also try to gain enough equipment for the older children to do a range of activities to enhance motor skills and communication. “Overall it is hopefully just going to be a relaxed atmosphere in which mothers and children can get together and learn from each other.’’ Mums-to-be who want a taste of things to come will also be very welcome. Sam adds: “The thought of having a baby in a foreign country can be daunting and we mums who have had children here in Spain can offer advice and support on hospitals, care and - importantly - the paperwork afterwards!’’

YOU’RE THE TOPS Thanks a ton from Aitana - and now little Guillermo needs your help as well

WHEN the Courier highlighted the plight of a sick little girl who urgently needed to go to the US for lifesaving medical treatment, our readers rushed to help. A national plastic bottle top collection was already under way to raise money for Aitana Garcia’s treatment for a congenital heart condition and as the expat community joined the campaign to raise £200,000 to fund major surgery in the USA, the Courier office became a drop-off point for sackloads of tapones to be recycled for cash that would help Aitana. Millions of people across Spain and Portugal got behind the Una sonrisa para Aitana campaign (A smile for Aitana, collecting 450 tons of tops in just a few months. Aitana has now had her surgery at the Boston Children’s Hospital, one of the few places in the world that perform the surgery she needed. Last Sunday her parents sent an open letter to everyone who collected an donated the bottle tops that have save Aitana’s life. They said she was doing well and

By AMANDA BLACK thanked the “more than 13 million people, 2,000 schools and people from all walks of life who collected plastic caps for Aitana”. They praised the “solidarity, hope, smiles and friendship” shown by everyone who supported the campaign. And they reminded people not to stop collecting tops as they will be used to help other children and to fund another operation for Aitana in Boston. Through charitable organisation Fundacíon Seur, the collection is currently helping an 18-month-old Alicante boy named Guillermo. Born with brain damage, the toddler needs special care if he is to learn to control his movements, breathe normally, sit up unassisted and communicate with his family. The campaign Tapones para una nueva vida (Tops for a new life) aims to collect 74 tons to help Guillermo. Tops can be left at the offices of The Courier and Professional Business Support in Aguas Nuevas in Torrevieja. Call 966 921 003 or 966 923 963 for directions.

Friday, June 01, 2012

A TRULY ROYAL EXPERIENCE Toledo- Avila – Aranjuez

IMMEDIATELY on arriving at the Bisagra gate, the main gateway to this mighty fortified city, you can see why Toledo was chosen by Moors, Visigoths and Romans as the capital city of ancient Spain. It is still more or less surrounded by the mighty old city walls which have protected its inhabitants for many centuries. The same cathedral which played such a major role in the rebuilding of the Catholic faith in Spain, and went on to play an even bigger role in the dark days of the Spanish inquisition, towers over the old tiled roofs and cobbled streets and squares of a thriving city which has never escaped the clutches of its fascinating medieval past. Sitting on a rock cut out by the fast flowing waters of the river Tajo, it is not difficult to see why successive cultures choose this wellprotected position from which to govern their hard-won territory. Less than two hours away from Toledo you find the impressive walled city of Avila. Birthplace of the energetic, perhaps somewhat eccentric Santa Teresa. The knights of Avila also rode

out on to the dry La Mancha plains from Avila’s city gates in pursuit of the Moors. St John of the Cross, a fearless campaigner for all things Christian, and a close friend of Santa Teresa, yet who rather oddly fell foul of the Spanish inquisition,

preached in the streets around the monumental cathedral. Although both these cities are now modern thriving cities, they have never lost the feeling of strength and power which has been built up over many centuries and passed through the hands of such a variety of cultures. Then suddenly there is

something different –the delightful Palaces, parks, and fountains of gentle Aranjuez. This town was largely developed from the reign of Philip II onwards as a Royal paradise. Tastefully built military barracks are the only reminder of the need of the Royals of the time to be protected from outside influences. Opulent R o y a l Palaces sit, bordered by the beautiful flower-filled parks and the sparkling water of the river Tagus ( T a j o ) . Squirrels, blackbirds and pheasant dart between a variety of well tended shrubbery. Fountains tinkle by the riverside where ducks glide effortlessly over the dark green waters of the river. Intended by the medieval Royals to please and relax, it certainly did not fall short of its target. You can travel to all of these cities on an excellent fourday excursion which is being offered by D a v i d ’ s Coachtrips SL for only 199€. The excursion is based in a 3* Toledo city hotel on a bed and breakfast basis and includes all excursions. Dates - four days,12-15 June. Great value !

Friday, June 01, 2012

RIGHT, I admit it. I’m paranoid about Ryanair. And it’s not fair on my pet cheapskate airline...or on me.

ONE IN THE ‘I’ FROM O’LEARY

My tongue-in-cheek account of my flight to Manchester two weeks ago was, I now confess, a little over the top. I even blamed them for the ‘lobal’ warfare between my handbag strap and left earring at the security desk before I had even set eyes on anyone from Ryanair. And the paranoia resurfaced last Thursday when I spent at least an hour trying in vain to check in for my return flight to Alicante. The check-in section simply would not accept my reservation details...and my warped mind decided there was only one possiBut this was NOT the sort of ble reason. They had turfed treatment I had expected. I me off the flight because of hadn’t even had time to work all the negative coverage myself up into a very minor I’ve been giving Ryanair in frenzy, never mind get angry. The Courier. The operator wasn’t interEither that or they had hatched a plan to charge me An I or a 1: Would YOU have got it right? ested in my name. He just asked me for my reservation an extra 60 euros at the airreference . “I have it down as port because I hadn’t QY312V,’’ I said. “Q - Y checked in online. three - one - two - V.’’ Yes, this was Michael ‘’I tink you may find that is O’Leary versus Donna the incorrect,’’’ came the reply. Old Deary – and the Irishman (No, he wasn’t Irish, I accihad decided there was only going to be one winner. On Friday morning, the dentally left the H out of think listed the booking reference You’ll gather from that last as QY312V – two letters, fol- problem persisted, so I took and don’t have time to go sentence that at this point I lowed by three numbers and a deep breath and called back). “It actually says was also suffering from delu- another letter. Quite simple Ryanair on their unexpected- QY3I2V, that’s Q - Y - three sions of grandeur. Yes, and clearly noted at the time ly cheap reservations line. the letter I - two - V.’’ I can see Dermot, sorry Michael O’Leary actually on my mobile phone calen- Within two minutes I was had someone as insignificant dar. actually talking to a human Michael O’Leary laughing at as me in his firing line. However, every time I voice with a body attached to my stupidity. That’s one in the ‘I’ for me, he’ll be saying. And he was now taking the attempted to ‘manage my it. A male one. Michael – for deliberately booking’ in order to check in, I had expected to be hang- What else can we do to mixing him up with the other I got a message saying the ing on for 20 minutes and annoy her?’’ Annoy her, paranoia... silver-tongued O’Leary who details did not match their probably to run out of used to present the X Factor. own...and that I should re- patience before I got through help, I need to see a psyand slam the receiver down. chiatrist! My reservation details enter them correctly.

QY3I2V

QY312V

Engelbert Slump-and-sink ONE of the great mysteries of the Eurovision Song Contest is why its blatant voting nepotism is seen as a joke rather than the pathetic political statement it actually is. Perhaps it is the fact that by an amazing coincidence, the best song invariably finishes somewhere near the top. The fact that the UK these days generally finishes with next-to-nil points (pronounced pwah in this instance) is no coincidence – and has nothing to do with the quality of our entries. It’s just that nobody outside Western Europe likes us, Barack Obama’s lot apart. Neither do some of our neighbours, for that matter. The Courier’s TV columnist Alex Trelinski predicted that Britain’s entry by Engelbert Humperdinck, at 76 the only competitor marginally older than me, would finish in the top half. And Herr Slumporsink duly made the top half ... of the bottom two. After starting in poll position as well!

We all knew Greece would give Cyprus maximum points, and that the former Yugoslavian republics would all kick Britain in the Balkans. Well, next time we sing Rule Britannia, I reckon we should all change the words to ‘’Britons never, never, never, will be Slavs!’’ My only sympathy for the Balkan brigade is that they gave votes to the poor creature representing Albania, who was clearly in great pain as she screamed out a frightening antidote to music. It amounted to one long, contorted, ear-piercing scream, yet landed 146 votes and fifth place? That’s even more ridiculous than host Eldar Gasimov’s inane fixed grin and unnatural body language. But then, the Eurovision Song Contest always has been anything but predictable. Otherwise the UK would win it every year.

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Friday, June 01, 2012

MOVE THOSE FEET, THE FISH ARE BITING MY best pal Eric the dentist once told me that it would be beneficial to my health if I walked at least one mile a day. But how did he know that? What on earth had my teeth to do with my feet? Anyway, I figured I'd already notched up enough exercise by walking my dog Brian daily to the front gate. There I would hand him over to the enthusiastic lad next door who would escort the mutt on the rest of his grand tour around the neighbourhood. That arrangement came to an end when next door's boy took up a place at university which meant him leaving home. How inconvenient. I then proposed to Mrs S that we shared dog-walking responsibilities but she claimed she was too busy doing the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing and shopping. Oh, and she had to feed our Brian, too. 'But all those chores happen to be women's work, anyway,' I pointed out. 'And if it's all proving too much, then you might consider getting out of bed a bit earlier.' Mrs S wasn't best pleased with me over that remark. Obviously, she was hormonal. But there was no doubting that the dog had become a bone of contention. The bottom line was that my pooch-promenading duties were impinging on my well-earned relaxation time, particularly the six hours I required in front of the telly on a Sunday afternoon. My mutt was always desperate to be outdoors, foraging among exciting (to him) and unspeakable (to me) steaming piles of strange substances on grass verges. I leaned towards staying indoors, feet up and watching an old movie. I had it out with Brian one day after Sunday lunch. I was part way through watching Gone With the Wind and had just got to the bit where Scarlett swears that she will never go hungry again when into the living room padded Brian, his dog-lead clenched in his jaws.

BRITAIN has really hit the jackpot over the last few days in winning the wooden spoon award for the very worst aspects of modern life. It claims a major ‘prize’ for having probably the most obese teenager in the world - a 16-year-old from South Wales who weighs an astonishing 63-stone. Sadly her weight has brought on a wide range of illnesses, including diabetes, respiratory failure, spinal problems and kidney disease. For months she has been virtually trapped in her bedroom, venturing out only to go to the bathroom - something it took nearly an hour to achieve. She had to be cut out of her home by a small army of emergency service personnel in an exercise which cost £100,000 and is now having round-the-clock care in hospital. Her mother is reported to have told reporters she feels guilty over her daughter's excess weight. In my book she should be prosecuted for parental abuse: she must have been feeding her virtually non-stop for her to balloon by 20 stone in two years. Here is yet another example of the huge army of people in the UK not fit to be parents. Britain gets yet another award - this time for having one of the highest re-offending crime rates in Europe. Amazingly, around 90% of people sentenced in England and Wales have previous convictions and a third have been involved in 15 or more crimes. Officials at the Ministry of Justice say the

Judging by the size of him, it was a safe bet that, unlike the starving Ms O'Hara, that my pet had never gone hungry. 'You're feeding him too much!' I accused Mrs S, shaking my fist for dramatic effect just as Scarlett had done. 'Rubbish!' replied Mrs S. 'It's because these days you walk our Brian only as far as the pub. What sort of exercise is that?' I turned to my dog. 'What's with you and this crazy compulsion to go walkies every day? I do believe you are genetically programmed to give me no peace.' I turned off the telly and shlepped my dog out of the front door. At least it wasn't raining. Two minutes later it started to

pour down. Heavily. 'Okay, our Brian, do your doggy-doos as soon as is caninely possible and let's head for home. If you catch a chill I'll be in the doghouse with your mistress. 'You know what Mrs S can be like when . . . NOT YET, BRIAN!' I screamed as the dog squatted on his haunches in the middle of the busy main road. I made frantic slowdown hand signals to the rapidly approaching 40-tonne articulated lorry and at the same time yanked hard on the pooch's lead. We managed to leg it to the opposite kerb with seconds to spare. 'Nice one, Brian,' I said. 'For one moment there I feared we'd have to share the poop scoop.' 'You certainly did have a lucky escape,' observed Dave the barman when I told him the story at the pub the other night. 'I agree, Dave,' I said. 'A little exercise can be a dangerous thing, especially when you're accompanied by a dotty dog.' 'I agree, Dave,' said Dave the barman, nodding his head. I shook my own head. 'No, Dave,' I said. 'You cannot agree with me because I agreed with you FIRST.' 'I agree with both of you,' said a stranger at the bar. 'But if you're taking exercise you do need to look after your feet. I stared suspiciously at the newcomer. 'Feet? You're not by any chance a dentist?' 'Huh? No, friend. I just happened to come across this article in a magazine. It was about some pedicure treatment which involves sticking your tootsies in water and these tiny, finger-sized carp fish nibble away at your hard skin.' It

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A fat lot of good figures show a "clear trend" of a rising reoffending rate. Figures have shown a trend of sentencing for longer periods, but a growing use of cautions for sex offences and increasing number of people being given maximum remission of a third off their sentences. What does all this tell you? It tells me there are far too many people who do not fear jail. Prison has become too soft - and the softer it gets, the less of a deterrent it is. I’ve said it before and I repeat - we need to restore the death penalty for murder and terrorism, we need much longer sentences, and we need work camps, not prisons, and for repeat offenders. Work camps and the birch - in public. Next on the wooden spoon list is something I have hit out about before the standard of care for Britain's elderly. A WRVS survey shows treatment of old folk in the UK lags far behind that in other European countries, with many suffering acute loneliness and isolation. UK pensioners had the lowest net income and many felt they suffered age discrimination. The problems were made more acute because many lacked the support of families, unlike old people on the continent, and many suffered through the absence of a vol-

unteer system to cover the caring gap. And fourth on the sad indictment of uncaring Britain? We're top of the league when it comes to teenage abortions - 38,269 were carried out in 2010. And the shock statistics do not end there - three girls had had their eighth abortion in 2010, two their seventh, and four their sixth . These statistics show so clearly that parents are failing their children, as is society and the kids are failing themselves. It really is time society accepted that every young person is going to experiment with sex and we should equip all of them with the knowledge and ability to prevent unwanted pregnancies. These four examples of failing Britain convince me how desperately the UK needs to get back to good old-fashioned Victorian values. Too many people in the UK have lost their moral fibre and it's bringing untold misery to a growing number of people. The Prime Minister has been banging on about the need for a "big society" - this is what it is all about, and how right he is.

Last week we went to an excellent concert put on by Jukebox Legends and

enjoyed talented singer Tony Lee singing songs from Roy Orbison and Gene Pitney. He was putting tremendous effort into the show, which was well worth the money spent. But it was spoiled by all the rude Brits trying to hold conversations across tables and at the bar. Their row was appalling - why spend good money to go to a show and not listen to the singing? My wife (who is a northerner) commented: It's just like they thought they were still in a northern club." Why are some people so bloody rude and thoughtless? If they want to spend the evening chatting, why not just go to a bar? There are plenty about. And finally, on the subject of the farce called the Eurovision contest - yet again Europe has shown exactly what it thinks of Britain. How much longer is the UK going to waste money entering this musical charade with voters not casting their votes on the music but on what they think of the country involved? And how much longer are we going to continue remaining in the farcical European Union and paying a fortune in tax for membership we don't want or need?

Friday, June 01, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSON 22 LAST week we had some revision of the first few weeks’ lessons. This week I will give you the answers and then we will revise the later lessons, from 11 to 20. These, as you are aware, became more advanced as we added verbs and began to build sentences. Therefore it is important that you are confident answering these revision questions before you move on. Over the next few weeks I will be steering away from learning verbs to more general learning, but it is important to keep yourself reminded of how the verbs are conjugated and not to forget them. That, along with learning the new words, will certainly keep you busy. However, if at any time you feel that the lessons are moving too fast for you stop, keep the copies and learn at your own pace. As mentioned last week I will be including more and more revision so don’t worry about getting left behind, you can catch up in your own time. What is important is that you remember what you are learning. So, take your time, take every opportunity to speak and listen to Spanish and enjoy what you are learning. One day all this hard work will pay off and you will be talking in Spanish, being understood and understanding what is being said to you. REMEMBER - This is a marathon not a sprint. Here are last week’s answers. How did you do? First was direct translation: The door – La puerta, The book – El libro, The drink – La bebida, The car – El coche, A ball – Una pelota, A swimming pool – Una piscina, A boy – Un chico, Some girls – Unas chicas, A fish – Un pez, Tuesday - Martes, Saturday - Sábado, March - marzo, August – agosto, Summer - verano, Autumn - otoño, it is half past five – son las cinco y media, it is quarter past one – es la una y cuarto, in the morning – por la mañana, What time is it? - ¿Qúe hora es?, see you later – hasta luego, my name is..... - me llamo (or direct translation – mi nombre

es....), No thank you – no gracias, more or less – más o menos, you’re welcome – de nada, tomorrow morning – mañana por la mañana. Next came stress, underlining where the stress is in each of the following words: Hola, ¿cómo estás?, una cerveza por favor, sábado, abril, semanas, temprano, naranja, amarillo, soy inglés, Bienvenido. Next was filling in the blanks. Where there is more than

one possible answer I have included a few: Compro ropa en .....una tienda (Elche, el centro comercial)...... , Que tengas un …..Buen día......, Vivimos en …una casa (Torrevieja, un caravan)......., un café........con leche (solo, americano)....., la semana que …....viene......... , una zanahoria …...Naranja (rica, dura)......., …(Tengo)..un (el)...... avión …..blanco (grande, pequeño)........... As you can see quite a few of the above had more than one answer and I hope you got thinking about which one you

wanted to use. If you have any other answers that you are not sure about feel free to e-mail me via The Courier and I will answer any query you may have. Finally there were some questions relating to lesson 20, which was talking about the weather. Here are the answers for that section: ….....está..................nevando, …...hace......viento, ….........hace............sol, ….......está.................lloviendo, …....está..........nublado, …......hace....frío … .....hace............... calor, …......está........... seco I hope you managed to answer those without too much difficulty and you find that you know a lot more words than you did twenty weeks ago. And those of you who had a good knowledge beforehand, I hope you are revising and testing your knowledge because we always need to keep revising. If we don´t use it we lose it. Now we are going to revise the last weeks, 11 to 20, and hopefully you will find that the words come back to you. Try to answer without checking, then feel free to check and correct if necessary. We are going to start with some basic translation. There will be more next week but I don’t want to bombard you. I want you to be confident in what you are learning and should you feel it necessary to revise the first few weeks again, feel free. Only move on with these revision questions when you are confident enough to do so. Translate the following into Spanish: I have a ball. I am cold. I’m from England. I speak Spanish. Are you coming? I am going to read a book. He is my brother. It is cold. What do you do? Answers next week. That’s it. I’ve given you a nice easy week this week so that you have time to revise and be confident about everything you are learning. Constantly check your knowledge whenever you can. See you next week.

Friday, June 01, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

There’s no place like home ONCE upon a time, there was a little mixed breed dog who lived with a family she loved very much, and she was very loyal to them.

One afternoon, as she lay enjoying the Spanish sunshine, her owners beckoned her over to them and they placed her in the family car. Her tail wagged with happiness as she loved going to new places with her human family. As the car drove along the dusty, dry road, she peered out of the window enjoying the new sights and smells, her tail still wagging with joy. After about half an hour, the car came to a halt on some waste ground and she was led out of the car. She started to smell and investigate this new piece of ground that she had never been to before. As she walked around enjoying herself, she was thinking how great life was. “I’m with my human family and they have taken me somewhere I have never been to before and we are all together enjoying this A mother and her moment,” she thought. pups: Jess shows Her human family walked off her babies back towards the car, like they had done on other occasions, and she was glad because it normally meant a big bowl of cold water being put on the floor for her to enjoy. This time though there was no big bowl of cold water. There was just the clunk of the doors shutting. She hurried towards the car so that she could be let back in, her big brown eyes pleading with her human family to open the door. Then her heart sank as her human family sped off along the road without her, leaving nothing but a dusty cloud of smoke behind them. Her heart began to pound She now began to feel prepare a suitable spot for faster and faster. Panic raced desperate and lay under a her puppies to have the best through her body as she tree for some much needed chance of survival. stood there all alone. shade and rest. Under that Very soon, nature took She stood on that piece of tree lay not only one life but its course and she gave waste ground for hours, in seven, as she was heavily birth to four girls and two the soaring heat, waiting for pregnant and about to give boys. her owners to come and col- birth to six lovely puppies. The puppies snuggled as lect her. Each car that drove She began to dig a hole so close as they possible could past was not them. that she could keep cool and to their mother, for comfort and for food. As the days passed, she would search the local area for food, leaving her puppies safely in the hole she had dug to keep them cool. The nights were cold, dark and scary, as she did her best to keep her babies warm and safe. One day, when she was searching for something to

AND JESS AND HER PUPS NEED ONE SO BADLY

eat, a very kind man and woman noticed her next to a busy main road. They noticed that her teats were full of milk and realised she must have puppies hidden close by. They kindly gave her something to eat and drink and as she was a very loving dog who adored humans, them let happily she approach her. These caring people followed her in their car, to see if she would lead them to her puppies. She happily led them to the waste ground, which had now become her home. Sadly, though, the very kind people lost sight of her

and their hearts sank as they thought they would never see her again. The nice lady, who was named Anne, called out to see if the dog would reappear and to her delight, out she came from the trees, with her tail wagging happily. She even led Anne over to where the pups were and waited patiently as Anne picked up the puppies and placed them in a box. She put the box in the car and the dog stood there thinking she was going to be left all alone again. This time though, instead of her heart sinking, it raced with excitement as Anne beckoned her also into the car to be with her puppies. Anne’s husband, Les, drove the car back to their house, where the mother dog and her puppies met the five dogs who lived there. The very nice people called her Jess and she was very respectful and friendly to the other dogs and went about her job as a mother with efficiency and pride. The other dogs in the house would laugh when

they saw the puppies and would joke that they looked like little bears because they were so fat and round! Jess did not mind though, she even agreed, as they all lived happily together. The above story is not a fairytale. It is a true story. Jess and her six puppies are desperately looking for homes. For any of you lucky readers who would like to offer a home to any of them, you can contact the very nice lady named Anne at anneleswager@yahoo.com or you can call Anne on mobile number 678 123 081 or at home on 965 369 294. Finally, I will pass on my literature pack, free of charge to the lucky people who get to share their lives with Jess and her puppies. Just e-mail me your address and I will post the literature to you, so that you can live a calm and happy life with your new found friend. A Mother and her Puppies by Peter Singh Copyright www.thedo gyouneed.com 2012

Friday, June 01, 2012

KING OF SCHOOLS

At King’s College we have an outstanding learning environment, with the best of British teachers. The aim is to match the efforts of King’s College, Madrid by ensuring that students go on to the best universities, whether in England, the USA, Spain or elsewhere. To complement the work of the teachers we have excellent facilities, with interactive whiteboards in every classroom, science labs, art and music rooms, libraries for each learning stage and ICT facilities, including laptop trolleys and designated ICT labs. While the classroom is at the core of everything we do, we believe in an all-round education and the excellent facilities for sports, music and drama are integral to achieving our aims in bringing up children to be balanced, focused and upstanding young adults. We encourage pupils to take part in co-curricular

activities, whether it is sport, the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award Scheme, playing musical instruments, singing in the choir or acting on the stage. With first rate sporting facilities, including an allweather floodlit football pitch, multi-purpose sports hall and floodlit tennis courts we enjoy activities both inside and beyond the school fence; we even have access

to an 18-hole golf course right on our doorstep. Central to the ethos of the school is the tremendous sense of community that epitomises the relationships between teachers, children and parents. Inter-school and inter-house fixtures and the considerable amount of time devoted to tutoring are key to this. With this in mind we enjoy events that involve parents, students and staff, whether it is the Christmas and Easter fairs, International Day, parents versus staff cricket and football matches or carnival. In September we open a sixth form (Year 12) for the first time with pupils doing A Level examinations in preparation for university. Pupils will do work experience, be given careers and university advice and be trained in life and leadership skills. We will be offering scholarships and bursaries for those who want to join our sixth form. Contact info@kingsgroup.org, call 968 032 500 or visit our website at www.kcmurcia.es for further information. - ROBIN SILK, Head

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How should it be completed? Línea Directa offers the following advice to complete the form: 1. Columns A and B (blue and yellow), are for the personal details of the drivers and their vehicles. 2. In section 12, (Circumstances) the numbered column on the left describes the manoeuvres of car A and the one on the right those of car B. If you are unsure which box to mark, leave it blank. Make a drawing of the accident in section 13 indicating the manoeuvre of each car. 3. If anybody has been injured or if you think they might have been injured, complete section 24. 4. If there is more than one car involved in the accident, also complete section 23, on the reverse side of the form, and include it in the sketch. 5. Sign the form and keep a copy.

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Friday, June 01 2012

Expats, nil points! I THOUGHT this week I would write a postscript to last week’s article on Eurovision. I watched the whole programme from Engelbert’s fantastic start to the winners being crowned and I really enjoyed it. I tuned in with a friend. We both had scoresheets and had to decide who we thought was going to win, along with who our favourites were. Suffice to say, she chose the Russian grannies and won as all the ones I chose came pitifully low. I guess I should have realised I had no Euro taste when the two songs I raved about last week failed even to make the final. I don´t think I will ever understand the great voting public although I am, of course, aware of voting for your neighbours and friends and not for the UK because they invaded Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever. But I feel this year we were sadly let down by Europe. The UK entry was an old-fashioned ballad of lost love and holding on to those you have - and it was sung by a true professional who really showed his experi-

ence and quality. To be honest I don´t think it was the lyrics that let it down but the music, which had a very old style to it. Europe seems to think it is this forward thinking community, with each country assuming it knows best and is the most advanced in everything, including music, although some of the songs had a ring of 80s or 90s pop about them. I am not going to rant on about how we lost because no one likes us, that would be trite and serve no purpose. In fact, it

would not be true because in 2009 we Mika - a came fifth with the fanfuture tastic song ‘It’s My contender Time’ written by Sir for Andrew Lloyd Webber. Britain? So if we put a great song out there, the United Kingdom can get some votes but of course it is all subjective. What I liked, my friend sitting next to me didn’t, shown most glaringly by her liking the Russian grannies. Sorry to go on! What really annoyed me was that we got no points, absolutely none, from Spain. I don´t expect every single expat out here to get on the phone, but surely there are enough of us to push at least a few votes the UK’s way. How many of us actually watch it, I was wondering, as we got passed on the scoreboard by country after country. And I wondered why I even bothered with my couple of votes. It´s a shame that people are quick to mock the competition

yet still watch it. The same people gripe and moan that there is fixed voting, that no one likes us and we don´t want anyone else to win - yet those of us who can vote, don´t. Next year I´m thinking of putting the phone number on the Facebook page for The Courier; that way, those of you watching on English television can, with a few clicks, get the number and vote. As for the human-rights issues, I know nothing is going to change overnight but I hope that the people of Azerbaijan can eventually live free from fear. I also hope that now the Eurovision Song Contest is over and the country returns to normality, those persecuted and living in fear are left in peace to make their statements, However, I fear this is a dream long in the making. Let´s hope that next year we choose a song that blows away the opposition, I vote for Adele to represent us, or Mika - I know they love him in Europe. At the end of the show I could honestly look back and say that, with my friend, a bottle of wine and some snacks, I had a great night and am already looking forward to spending a night in Sweden in 2013.

Friday, June 01 2012

BANKERS, BLACKMAIL, BOOKS AND BAILOUTS DON’T banks annoy you The Bankia chief, Jose with their sheer arrogance Ignacio Goirigolzarri, then and the complete inability had the brass neck to tell a of governments around news conference that there the world to call them to will be greater transparency account for their actions? in the future. Well, thanks for If you go even a cent over- nothing Jose Ignacio, drawn, they are straight at because that’s what you your throats promising hell, should have been doing in fire and damnation. Yet the first place, as well as when they are proven announcing your resignaincompetent at best, and tion. crooks and liars at worst, If we mere mortals ran they end up holding our businesses like that, we’d leaders to moral blackmail face due legal process - but and absolutely nobody is I sadly suspect Jose Ignacio held to account for it through and his mates within the the courts. In the UK, we banking world will continue saw what happened with to get away with it every Northern Rock and RBS, time. and a similar picture has A few of my Marxist occurred with Spain’s fourth friends from my old college largest bank, Bankia. days would be crowing at The Bankia bosses lied, this, especially after I spent pure and simple, about their many hours defending capibusiness, and with the talism and banking to them. I organisation 45% owned by think they may have had a the Spanish point! Government, they then say that their books are all wrong and they need a further €19 billion bail-out! Incredible, and these bandits know that they’ll get the help, because the consequences for hard working ordinary folk here would be Brass neck: unacceptable Jose Ignacio if Madrid Goirigolzarri didn’t come to the rescue.

There is something grotesque about this world of ours when you learn that innocent children have been massacred in Syria. And then the UK media choose to concentrate on whether or not a Syrian general will be allowed to lead his country’s team to the London Olympics next month. I’d much rather hear about positive action from Britain and the useless United Nations over what they’re going to do immediately about Assad’s evil regime in Damascus and the atrocities they are committing. But since there are not barrels of oil to fight over, the world community will be left just to talk and hang their heads in pathetic shame as more innocent lives are taken. It is a truly terrible chapter in the history of modern humanity, which could have been prevented months ago.

One of the key arts of politics and international statesmanship is knowing when to say absolutely nothing. That lesson has not been taught to the tough-cookie boss of the International Monetary Fund, Christine Lagarde, who is an acclaimed nononsense operator, but has a lot to learn in the art of

handing out verbal olive branches, and Lagarde has shown that she has none of those. If she had aimed her barbs at the Greek political and economic elite who have screwed the country for years, I’d have agreed with her, but she unwisely chose to put everybody into the same basket of despair. I always believe that voters are treated as ignorant fodder by politicians, so I was amused by an ITV News Poll which showed the Christine Lagarde: No British electorate to be very much on the diplomat money. Asked who was to blame for the current diplomacy. economic woes in the UK, With the Greeks threaten- the majority of those polled ing to vote for a left-wing pointed the finger squarely anti-austerity party in their at Gordon Brown’s Labour elections in a fortnight, Government. Not good Lagarde put her foot in it by saying she had more sympathy for starving African children than the starving of Athens, and that it was “payback time” for Greece and everybody should pay their taxes. She might be right, but these are exactly the sort of ill-advised public comments that will get desperate Baroness Greeks rushing to vote Warsi: She for the extremist parties showed her once again. stupidity The manual on good diplomacy does include

news, then, for shadow Chancellor Ed Balls, who was pulling the economic strings at the time for his mate Gordon, much to Alistair Darling’s annoyance. That’s why Mr Balls lacks any credibility when he opens up his sizeable mouth to spout his usual inconsequential babble about the recession in Britain. David Cameron summed it up at Prime Minister’s Questions last week when he was heard calling Balls a ‘muttering idiot’. It was perhaps a very mild observation on a politician who seems to be living in complete denial. The co-chairman of the Conservative Party, Baroness Warsi, has never struck me as being a clever politician. Some might suggest that she’s become a pet of David Cameron with a Cabinet seat, simply because of her sex, ethnicity and religion. But she showed her stupidity this week by being caught out over her expenses as a Peer. The issue was rent she was meant to have paid to a friend who was renting the property. The problem is that the owner of the house claims never to have got any rent from the Baroness, so where has the money gone? Methinks Labour can smell some blood here!

Friday, June 01, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Bullfighting and the Press AFTER reading an article about bullfighting in the "Free Press" I thought that I would put pen to paper. A few months ago I attended a charity bullfight in aid of the AECC in Murcia. The arena was packed and I believe that the seven matadors gave their services free. The event must have raised thousands of euros for this very good cause. There was no mention of it, however, in the areas of the Free Press. Contrast this with the extensive coverage given to the people who help events in local bars and might raise a few hundred euros. Please don't take me wrong, I admire the

effort and dedication these good people put into these events. I only mention it to show the "impartiality" of the Press. We often hear people say "How cruel the Spanish are". We from the UK have very little to be proud of on this front. The cruelty, torture and murder of animals and small children should make us all feel ashamed. I will just mention two cases amongst many. Puppy farms and the terrible case of ‘Baby P’. I anticipate your readers picking up pens to denounce me, but there are two sides to every story. •I am not some bloodthirsty monster, but a

Council actions speak louder than words I READ with interest the letter in your edition of May 18 from Denise Wesserling of Orihuela Council, where she explains how much quicker and easier it is for residents to report where posters have been placed or graffiti. This follows numerous reports in the press on how the Council

wish to improve the area. I enclose copies of two emails I sent on May 4 and May 8 reporting posters on Cabo Roig bridge. Result NIL - posters still there today, May 19. What I say to the Council is 'Actions speak louder than words'! DAVID JANNAWAY, Cabo Roig

law abiding citizen. I have never been in trouble with the Police, not even a parking ticket. I served my Queen in the Suez Canal zone and have a medal to prove it – and I love my grandchildren. The charities I support are the AECC and Help for Heroes. I hope you have the courage and space to print my letter. JR FRENSHAM, Ciudad Quesada

If bulls were killed at that Murcia event, then it would not have received my support. Blood sports (which equate to killing for fun) revolt me and I’m sure most readers feel the same way - EDITOR

CLARO HAVE BETRAYED THE ELECTORATE

DENISE WESSERLING replies: I can confirm after speaking to my colleagues in the maintenance department that the posters have been removed except for one which keeps reappearing. The owner of the Arthur G bar was requested to stop posting his advertising material which he did immediately. Unfortunately, due to the number of e-mails received it is not always possible to reply straight away. However, the necessary work to be carried out is recorded and forwarded to the appropriate department. It must also be said that Orihuela Costa covers a very large area and it is of course not possible to remove the offending item or clean the untidy area immediately. I can understand residents being frustrated by graffiti and untidy areas etc., but perhaps the criticism should be directed at the people carrying out these distasteful activities and not so much at the Town Hall who after years of inactivity and turning a blind eye is actually trying to do something to remedy the situation. New systems take a while to become established.

Beware of the M-way thieves WE are reaching the time of the year when we see the annual migration of Spanish residents to the more northerly countries. A number travel by car through northern Spain and onwards by road or by ferry. If you are visiting foreign climes in this manner, please take notice of the advice below. When you need to fill up with petrol the French and Spanish motorways, beware of thieves at the petrol stations, particularly near the Spanish-French border at La Jonquera and around Barcelona. There are reports of distraction thefts recently in

these areas. Always keep car doors locked and don´t open windows to anyone you do not know. Ladies, if you need the toilet leave your handbag hidden away in the locked car. Only carry sufficient money with you to pay for what you buy. If it is necessary to park at the motorway rest areas, do not leave the car unattended and only stay for a few minutes. WATCH OUT, THERE´S A THIEF ABOUT. CHRIS POOLE, Vecinos Colaborando, Orihuela Costa

I AM one of the ex.members of CLARO who resigned publicly in the Plenary Meeting of March 29. Together with my wife Kathy and other members we decided on this action (and it was our decision to do this and nothing whatsoever to do with any member of the government) because we were totally and utterly disgusted with decisions being taken by the party to join forces with Monica Lorente and the PP. Our resignation was something to which we gave a lot of thought and in view of events of the last few days was more than justified. We were very active members for 18 months and for over a year served on the 'extended committee'. We attended every Friday the 'open meeting' and before and leading up to the election of May 22 last year Bob Houliston would come and talk about virtually nothing else but Monica Lorente, the alleged corruption, the 25 years of miss-rule by the PP and the fact that they did absolutely nothing for the good people living here on the Orihuela Costa, which of course was the truth. This is how CLARO, together with our alliance partners CLR, fought the election campaign and the electorate here on the coast voted for change to rid ourselves of 25 years of PP rule. We must remember very importantly that if we had not been in an alliance with CLR, then CLARO would not

have come anywhere near winning one seat in that election. It was very clear to us towards the end of last year that Bob Houliston had decided he wanted to join forces with the PP and to totally go against the mandate given to CLARO by the citizens of Orihuela Costa. After the Plenary Meeting of March 29, Bob Houliston wrote a letter saying that it was a total over-reaction on our part to resign in the way that we did and his voting with the PP at the meeting was a 'one off'. Since then he has continued to vote with the PP on various motions. On Wednesday of last week the executive committee of CLARO met with Monica Lorente and members of the PP to discuss joining forces to bring about a 'change of government'. The people of Orihuela Costa did not vote for another four years of PP rule, they voted for a CLR/CLARO Alliance Party working together to bring about the improvements which are so much needed here on the Coast. I believe the actions of CLARO are a total betrayal of the electorate of Orihuela Costa and in three years, at the time of the next election, the people will I am sure give their verdict on what has happened. GRAHAM ROBINSON (ex. CLARO member).

Latest edition online at www.thecourier.es

Friday, June 01, 2012

Luverly Jub-ilee DIAMOND JUBILEE CHICKEN Ingredients • 1 large chicken (about 2.25kg/5lb) • 1 tsp turmeric • 2 tsp ground ginger • 2 tsp ground cumin • 2 tsp ground cinnamon • 3 tbsp sunflower oil • 500g Greek yogurt • 4 tbsp mayonnaise • ¼ tsp cayenne pepper • 4 tsp pomegranate molasses or balsamic glaze, plus extra to serve • 2 green-skinned English apples , cored and diced • 200g toasted walnut pieces • bunch flat-leaf parsley , chopped • 100g/4oz pomegranate seeds

Method 1. Heat oven to 160C/140C fan/gas 3. Sit the chicken in a large roasting tin. Mix together the turmeric, 1 tsp ginger, 1 tsp cumin, 1 tsp cinnamon and oil, then brush all over the chicken, making sure all of the spiced oil is used. Season well. Pour 250ml

ginger, cumin and cinnamon, cayenne pepper and pomegranate molasses or balsamic glaze. Add the chicken pieces, apples, all but a handful of the walnuts and parsley, and season. 4. Spoon the salad onto a large plate. To serve, drizzle with a little pomegranate molasses or balsamic glaze and scatter over the pomegranate seeds, remaining walnuts and chopped parsley.

water into the bottom of the tin, cover with foil and seal around the edges. Put in the oven and cook for 2 hrs. 2. Remove the foil and increase oven to 220C/200C fan/gas 7. Cook for a further 30 mins until the chicken is cooked through. Remove from the oven and leave until cool enough to handle. Strip the chicken meat from the carcass in chunky pieces and set aside. 3. To make the salad, mix together the yogurt, mayonnaise, remaining 1 tsp each of

MINI PORK PIES WITH PICCALILLI Ingredients • few dots of butter • 600g shortcrust pastry , bought or homemade • little flour , for dusting • 85g dried white breadcrumbs • 400g good Cumberland sausages (about 6) • 200g smoked bacon lardons • ¼ tsp each ground mace, ground pepper and dried sage • 1 egg , beaten with a fork • few pinches sesame seeds • piccalilli , homemade or bought, to serve

stick, carefully pressing pastry edges together to seal. Brush with more egg (don't throw away leftovers) and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Bake for 30 mins until golden then carefully remove the pies from the tin, using the parchment ends to help you lift them out. Sit on a parchment lined baking tray, brush all round the sides with more egg and put back in the oven for 8 mins. Cool completely then eat with piccalilli, or your favourite pickle.

PIMM'S, LEMON & MINT JELLY

Method 1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Line each hole of a 12-hole muffin tin with a thin strip of baking parchment across the middle that's long enough so the ends stick out a centimetre or two - use a dab of butter to stick in place. Roll out two thirds of the pastry on a lightly floured surface and stamp out 12 x 10cm circles (you may need to reroll trimmings). Press a circle into each hole to line. 2. Sprinkle 1 tsp of breadcrumbs into the base of each pie. Tip the rest of the crumbs into a mixing bowl. Squeeze in the sausage meat, discarding the skins, along with the bacon, mace, pepper, sage and just a little salt. Get your hands in and mash and squish everything together until the breadcrumbs have just about disappeared. Divide mixture between the holes, packing in firmly and shaping to a dome in the middle. 3. Roll out the remaining pastry and stamp out 12 x 7cm circles. Brush with a little egg and add a top to each pie, eggside down to

Ingredients • 10 gelatine leaves • small bunch mint leaves • 200ml Pimm's • 700ml sparkling lemonade • chopped cucumber , strawberries, orange and lemon slices, to serve

Method 1. Soak the gelatine in a bowl of cold water. Heat 100ml water in a pan, drop in the mint leaves and leave to infuse for 5 minutes. Take out the leaves, reheat, then stir in the gelatine until dissolved. Add the Pimm's and lemonade and cool. Skim off any remaining foam. Pour into a 1-litre jelly mould and chill overnight until set. 2. Turn out onto a plate and surround the jelly with the traditional Pimm's garnish.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Dash Diet for Hypertension

Dash Diet — Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) Hypertension is another name for high blood pressure. Blood pressure is the force exerted on artery walls when the heart is beating and when it is at rest. The higher number is the “Systolic” pressure and is the pressure exerted on artery walls when the heart is in the contracting phase. The lower number is the “Diastolic” pressure and is the pressure exerted on artery walls when the heart is in the resting phase. High blood pressure is a silent killer. If left unchecked, it can cause permanent damage, resulting in kidney failure, heart attack or stroke. Blood pressure is considered high if the upper number (systolic pressure) is above 140 and the bottom number (diastolic pressure) is above 90 and stays there. Although, many physicians believe these numbers are still too high. Something like 130/80 might be what you need to shoot for in order to lower the risks of hypertension. There are actually two types of high blood pressure. One is primary and the other is secondary. In secondary high blood pressure, usually something else causes it, like an overactive thyroid gland. However, most people suffer from primary high blood pressure. The cause for high blood pressure in the primary form cannot be determined, but, while the cause may not be known, the treatment can still be effective.

Basic Rules for Controlling High Blood Pressure 1. Adjust your diet 2. Maintain a healthy weight 3. Exercise 4. Take medications as prescribed

There are also a few dietary interventions to start and help control your blood pressure...

Limit salt Most medical experts recommend salt-sensitive persons limit salt to 2,000 milligrams per day. Watch out for “hidden” salt, found in butter flavourings, seasonings, tomato sauces, condiments and canned foods. Check with your healthcare practitioner before using a salt substitute.

Limit intake of high-fat foods Try baking or broiling rather than frying.

Limit alcohol Over consumption contributes to weakening of the heart muscle and to hypertension.

The Dash Diet Follow the DASH diet. The Dash diet was designed to prevent high blood pressure, but it's also low in fat. The Dash diet is based on a 2,000-calorie-a-day meal plan. Check with your healthcare practitioner about whether the Dash diet may be the right diet for you.

Quick at-home treatments If your hair is extremely dry, you can add a few drops (no more than three) of sunflower oil onto your palms, and gently blend it into your hair. Do not start at the roots, rather go from the ends of the hair and work your way upwards in a

A CLOSER LOOK AT FIBROMYALGIA SYNDROME (FMS) Fibromyalgia is a chronic health condition that causes muscle pain, unrelenting fatigue and poor sleep. The most distinctive feature of FMS is the existence of certain “tender points,” 18 specific spots where the muscles are abnormally tender to the touch, and are clustered around the neck, shoulders, chest, knees, elbows, and hips. Individuals with fibromyalgia may also experience headaches, anxiety, depression, poor memory, numbness and tingling in the extremities, cold hands and feet, irritable bowel syndrome, lowered immune function, and chemical sensitivities. Fibromyalgia is now thought to arise from a miscommunication in the nervous system causing the nerves which supply the brain to become more excitable, exaggerating the pain sensation. This causes individuals with fibromyalgia to have a reduction in their ability to tolerate pain, an increased sensitivity to pain, and an increase in the persistence or duration of pain. Researchers now suggest that Fibromyalgia may be caused by chronic stress and hormonal imbalances due to nutritional deficiencies. Problems with the absorption of nutrients are common in people with FMS, and consequently specific supplemental nutrients will be of benefit. Vitamin B complex which is needed by the body to improve energy and normalise brain function, has been found to be deficient in people with fibromyalgia. Magnesium and Malic acid are involved in energy production by muscle cells, and are also needed by the body for

Here is the Dash diet... • • • • • • • •

Low-fat or fat-free dairy 2-3 servings daily Vegetables 4-5 servings daily Fruits 4-5 servings daily Grains and grain products 7-8 servings daily Meat, poultry and fish 2 servings daily Nuts, seeds and beans 4-5 servings per week Fats and oils 2-3 servings daily Sweets 5 servings per week

Dealing with Dry, Frizzy Hair Keeping your hair smooth and shining is not always as simple as the television ads would have us believe. Find out what causes dry, frizzy hair, and learn how to deal with it. Dry, brittle and frizzy hair is a result of hair that lacks moisture, or water. This hair condition is most common among chemically treated hair, as the chemicals often strip your hair of its natural moisture. People who have naturally curly hair may also, at times, find the frizz unbearable. This type of hair requires a lot of attention and even more tender, loving care. Start off by using shampoos that are designed specifically for your hair type. This will ensure that some of the moisture remains in your hair, and will give it a silky, sleek texture.

scrunching motion. Other products include silicone blends, which work really well too. Towel-dry your hair and bend over, flicking your hair forward. Rub a few drops of silicone treatment into your palms and, using your finger, blend it into the hair. Both of these techniques can help you manage your dry, frizzy hair a little better. If you still find that your hair is unmanageable, chat with your hair stylist. They will be able to recommend salon specific treatments or products that will help.

sugar metabolism. Both nutrients have been found to positively support muscle function and may be beneficial to fibromyalgia sufferers. A deficiency in Tryptophan has also been known to be a major cause of FMS. Tryptophan is one of eight essential amino acids (Essential nutrients are only found in food sources and not made by the body). Tryptophan is important because it is needed by the body to produce serotonin and melatonin, both of which play very important roles in regulating sleep, digestion, mood, pain and mental clarity. Emotionally stressful situations cause the body to release stress hormones, which in turn stimulates the brain to secrete serotonin. Long-term stress and poor dietary habits can deplete the body’s serotonin stores leading to fibromyalgia or worsen fibromyalgia episodes. Several studies have also shown how chronic stress undermines the endocrine glands especially the hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal organs which work together as a single unit. A survey by The Fibromyalgia Network reports that 62% of their respondents list physical or emotional stress as the initiating factor in their acquiring fibromyalgia. In addition, individuals who were prevented from going into deep sleep for a period of a week develop the same symptoms associated with fibromyalgia; diffuse pain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, irritability, stomach disturbances and headache. Sleep deprivation also increases pain causing chemicals by a whopping 40%. Furthermore, most people with fibromyalgia also suffer from alpha- EEG anomaly, a sleep disorder in which the individual’s deep sleep periods are interrupted by bouts of waking-type brain activity, resulting in poor sleep quality. In summary, fibromyalgia can be alleviated or even cured by clinically investigating a patients sleep pattern and nutritional deficiencies. For more information please send an email to contact@medb.es

Friday, June 01, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Connie was having problems opening attach- ADVICE: Chris wanted to know what Java was. ments in her Yahoo Email Hi, Have problems regarding yahoo mail, when I receive mail attached with a file I can’t see the file anymore. I press download and then a box comes up (where it is checked for virus) saying it is ok and then I try to see but nothing happens. Have been able to read these files about a month ago but now it does not work anymore. Do you have a solution? Connie

Q A

Hi Connie, what you are experiencing with your Yahoo email is something that many other people are experiencing as well, it’s a common problem.

There are a number of “cures” available from the Internet but it looks as if this is a general problem with Yahoo and different solutions seem to work for different people. Some options are to update Adobe Flash player or clear your Internet Explorer cache

Q A

Hi Richard, can I just ask you a question, please what is java? Thanks, Chris.

Hi Chris, Java, in relation to your computer, is a small piece of software that runs on your computer (usually inside your web browser) that enables some websites to use the power of your computer to perform actions usually done by the website, this increases the functionality or power of the sites involved. I suspect that you are asking because you have received a message asking you to update your Java client? It’s safe to update Java whenever it requests to do so. If you would like to know more about Java, you can watch a video here… http://www.java.com/en/download/whatis_java.jsp

ADVICE: Robin was having “fun” with Gmail’s ‘important’ folder Hi Richard. Looking around Gmail, I saw a heading "important", and I wondered - what’s in there-. Well it was copies of virtually all my emails, both in and out. I thought to myself well, they are all in their labelled files, so why do I need them in another important box. So I deleted them from the important box. Or so I thought. You probably know what's coming next. When I tried to open a mail from its headed file, there was nothing there. Or anywhere else, so I've got no access to any emails for about a three month period. Is there any way I can retrieve them. Cheers, Robin

or clear your cookies. One way that I have found to be a sure fix for my customers is to use an email client to download your email messages (and attachments) onto your computer so that they can be read off line – Windows Live Mail or Thunderbird are good email clients that are freely available for download from the Internet, setting one up with your Yahoo settings would certainly fix the problem and allow you to download your email (with attachments) to enable you to read them.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hi Robin, "Important" is a relatively recent addition to Gmail. It's a label that Gmail applies automatically to help you figure out which of the messages in your Inbox are most deserving of your attention. If you have accidentally deleted items from this folder, they should be in your “trash” folder.

ADVICE: Brian’s sister in law was having problems with rogue email being sent from her account.

Hi Rich my sister in law is having a bit of a problem someone is using her email address to send mail from her address book is there any way of knowing who or will she have to change her email address. I got an email from what I thought was her with a link when I clicked on it my security said it was an unsafe site so not to enter. Hope you can help? Regards Brian

Hi Brian, sounds like her email account has been compromised, the best first step (if she still has access to the account) would be to change her password.

The Diamo Friday, June 01, 2012

VICTORIA: Reigned longer than any woman in history QUEEN VICTORIA might just have easily been Queen Alexandrina or Queen Georgiana, which would probably have been shortened to Queen George or Queen Alex! Victoria was the daughter of Prince Edward, Duke of Kent and Strathearn, the fourth son of King George III. Being the youngest son of the King, it was highly unlikely that her father would ever be King; however Edward’s three elder brothers all died before George III and Edward became the heir apparent. Both the Duke of Kent and the King died in 1820, and Victoria was raised under close supervision by her German-born mother Princess Victoria of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld. Originally she was to be named Georgiana Charlotte Augusta Alexandrina Victoria. However, at the last minute, her uncle, the future King George IV and the Prince Regent, who disliked her father, vetoed the first three names for political reasons, leaving her to be baptized simply as Alexandrina Victoria. Early on she was called Drina, but later the family settled on Victoria. Growing up, she was officially Princess Alexandrina Victoria. However, since her friends and family knew her as Victoria, when the opportunity arose, she ensured that she would be known to her Royal subjects as Victoria rather than Alexandrina. Upon her ascent to the throne on June 20, 1837, at age 18, escaping the necessity of a regency by mere weeks. The official papers that were drawn up declaring her sovereignty, listed her as Alexandrina Victoria. One of her first official acts as Queen was to do a little vetoing herself as she had the papers changed and for the next six decades would reign simply as Victoria! While Queen Elizabeth II is fluent in French, Queen Victoria was brought up almost bi-lingual, speaking English and her mother’s native German. She often wrote letters to her German relatives that contained at least a little German phrasing. As the British Empire expanded so did her love of travel and languages. In 1877 Victoria became Empress of India and ten years later, at the time of her Golden Jubilee, she acquired some Indian servants and started to learn Hindustani. She eventually

became quite proficient and kept a journal that runs to 13 volumes. Back in the 19th century, Royal marriages were often nothing more than for political convenience; to stop countries going to war with each other or simply because they only socialised in the same circles. In true ‘keeping it in the family’ mode, Queen Victoria married her first cousin, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, in 1840. Their nine children and 26 of their 34 grandchildren who survived childhood married into royal and noble families across the continent, tying them together and earning her the nickname "the grandmother of Europe". Many iconic images of Victoria see her dressed in black. Prince Albert died from typhoid fever on 14 December 1861, when he was just 42. Victoria was devastated. She avoided public appearances, and rarely set foot in London in the following years. Her seclusion earned her the name "widow of Windsor". However, in her younger years she was full of gaiety and fun. She had a great passion for art and was an accomplished artist herself. In terms of art created by others, she had a distinct affinity for nudes, many of which she gave to Albert as gifts to celebrate some special occasion or another. She also broke with tradition of the time and married in white, thus setting the stage for white weddings that prevail to this very day. Probably the most quoted line of Queen Victoria is “We are not amused.” However, she had a great sense of humour and knew how to have a good time as well as anyone. She played the piano well into her seventies, loved dancing, drank whisky, loved opera and theatre, often having a company come to Windsor Castle to perform for her. Apparently her legendary quote most likely stems from a joke told by groom-inwaiting Alick Yorke, her de facto court jester, who whispered a joke to a couple of German female guests who went into hysterics. The Queen asked him to repeat the joke for one and all but the Queen felt it to be beneath the dignity of most of the ladies who were present and uttered the often quoted phrase: “We are not amused.” -KEITH NICOL

Sing-along with the Courier 1. BULL AND BUSH Come, come, come and make eyes at me down at the Old Bull and Bush, Come, come, have some port wine with me, Down at the Old Bull and Bush, Hear the little German Band,………. Just let me hold your hand dear, Do, do come and have a drink or two down at the Old Bull and Bush. Come, come, come and make eyes at me down at the Old Bull and Bush, Come, come, have some port wine with me, Down at the Old Bull and Bush, Hear the little German Band,………. Just let me hold your hand dear, Do, do come and have a drink or two down at the Old Bull and Bush.

2. IF YOU WERE THE ONLY BOY IN THE WORLD If you were the only boy in the world And I were the only girl Nothing else would matter in the world today

We could go on loving in the same old way A garden of Eden just made for two With nothing to mar our joy I would say such wonderful things to you There would be such wonderful things to do If you were the only boy in the world And I were the only girl. If you were the only boy in the world And I were the only girl Nothing else would matter in the world today We could go on loving in the same old way A garden of Eden just made for two With nothing to mar our joy I would say such wonderful things to you There would be such wonderful things to do If you were the only boy in the world And I were the only girl.

3. ON A BICYCLE MADE FOR TWO Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do I’m half crazy all for the love of you

It w I ca But Of a

Dais I’m It w I ca But Of a

Kne Kne Und Ee-a If I c I’ll s Kne Nev Kne Oh

ond Queens Friday, June 01, 2012

ELIZABETH II: The monarch who never expected to rule - and stayed for 60 years

IT’S been almost impossible to escape the fact that this weekend marks the 60th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II ascension to the British throne. Only Her Majesty’s great-greatgrandmother Queen Victoria has spent longer on the throne, reigning for 63 years and seven months, longer than that of any other British monarch and the longest of any female monarch in history. While Queen Victoria took over the mantle soon after she turned 18, Elizabeth had the role thrust upon her while on an official Royal tour to Kenya, when her father George VI died on February 6, 1952. She was 25 at the time. The Queen was born at 17 Bruton St, London W1 on the 21st April, 1926, was christened on the 29th May that year in the Private Chapel at Buckingham Palace and was confirmed on the 28th March, 1942 in the Private Chapel at Windsor Castle. However, her ‘official’ birthday is celebrated on June 4. Her Coronation was 59 years ago on June 2, 1953. However because she ascended to the throne in 1952, the commemoration of her Diamond Jubilee is taking place this year. Queen Elizabeth II was another princess who had no reason to ever believe she would ever be queen. As a granddaughter of the monarch in the male line, Elizabeth's full style at birth was Her Royal Highness Princess Elizabeth of York. She was third in the line of succession to the throne, behind her uncle, Edward, Prince of Wales, and her father. In 1936, when her grandfather, George V, died and her uncle Edward succeeded, even as second in line to the throne after her father, she still had no reason to believe she would ever be queen until later that year, when Edward did the unthinkable and abdicated to marry divorced socialite Wallis Simpson. Elizabeth's father, George VI became king, and she became heiress presumptive. Elizabeth met her future husband, Prince

at the Park of Nations, Sunday June 3

won’t be a stylish marriage an’t afford a carriage t you’ll look sweet upon the seat a bicycle made for two.

sy, Daisy give me your answer do half crazy all for the love of you won’t be a stylish marriage an’t afford a carriage t you’ll look sweet upon the seat a bicycle made for two.

4. KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN

ees up Mother Brown ees up Mother Brown der the table you must go aye, Ee-aye, Ee-aye-oh catch you bending saw your legs right off ees up, knees up ver get the breeze up ees up Mother Brown my, what a rotten song

What a rotten song What a rotten song Oh my, what a rotten song And what a rotten singer Too-oo-ooh

5. RULE BRITANNIA When Britain first, at heaven's command, Arose from out the azure main, Arose Arose from out the azure main, This was the charter the charter of the land, And Guardian Angels sang this strain: Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves! Britons never, never, never shall be slaves. Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves! Britons never, never, never shall be slaves. Still more majestic shalt thou rise, More dreadful from each foreign stroke, More dreadful dreadful from each foreign stroke, As the loud blast the blast that tears the skies Serves but to root thy native oak.

Philip of Greece and Denmark, in 1934 and again in 1937. After another meeting at the Royal Naval College in Dartmouth in July 1939, Elizabeth, though only 13 years old, they began to exchange letters. They married on 20 November 1947 at Westminster Abbey. Philip renounced his Greek and Danish titles and adopted the style Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, taking the surname of his mother's British family and just before the wedding, he was created Duke of Edinburgh and granted the style of His Royal Highness. Not everyone was happy about a foreign born subject marrying into the Royal Family. Philip had no financial standing and had sisters who had married German noblemen with Nazi links. Marion Crawford wrote, "Some of the King's advisors did not think him good enough for her. He was a prince without a home or kingdom.” With Elizabeth's accession it seemed likely that the royal house would bear her husband's name. Lord Mountbatten thought it would be the House of Mountbatten, as Elizabeth would typically have taken Philip's last name on marriage; however Elizabeth's grandmother Queen Mary and Prime Minister Winston Churchill favoured the retention of the House of Windsor, and so Windsor it remained. The Duke complained, "I am the only man in the country not allowed to give his name to his own children." After the death of Queen Mary on 24 March 1953 and the resignation of Churchill in 1955, the surname Mountbatten-Windsor was adopted in 1960 for Philip and Elizabeth's male-line descendants who do not carry royal titles. Sixty years on, and at 86 years of age, the British public and friends worldwide are still enamoured and feel a bond and fondness for Queen Elizabeth II. She shows no sign of slowing down and while Prince Charles and William wait in the wings for their turn, all that needs to said is “Long live the Queen.” -KEITH NICOL

€1 for a banquet!

Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves! Britons never, never, never shall be slaves. Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves! Britons never, never, never shall be slaves. The Muses, still with freedom found, Shall to thy happy coasts repair Shall to thy happy coasts repair Blest isle! with matchless with matchless beauty crowned, And manly hearts to guard the fair. Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves! Britons never, never, never shall be slaves. Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves! Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

6. LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free, How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee? Wider still, and wider, shall thy bounds be set; God, who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet! God, who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet!

, SYDNEY'S BAR, based in Moncayo Market, is celebrating The Queens Jubilee in style. A buffet table will be set up outside the bar with an amazing offer of 'All you can Eat and Drink for one euro ' (subject to availability). So why not take a trip to the market today (Friday) or tomorrow to take advantage of this excellant offer!

Friday, June 01, 2012

SPANISH PRESS

US SLAMS SPAIN’S BULLY-BOY POLICE El País POLICE torture and abuse, racial discrimination and xenophobia, illegal arrests of migrants, and gender violence are Spain’s major human-rights problems outlined in a new report released by the Obama administration in Washington. Spain’s listing in the annual Country Reports on Human Rights Practices compiled by the US State Department placed special focus on the mistreatment and excessive force used by police authorities during demonstrations held across the country last year to protest social, education and health cuts, including incidents that occurred during the 15-M movement rallies. The 22-page document details excesses by police last May in Barcelona when authorities tried to break up a 15-M protest. “Videos and photographs of the incident showed several police hitting male and female protestors with batons while they were sitting on the ground with their hands raised in the air. When it came to torture or mistreatment, the US State Department quoted 2010 statistics from the Coordinator for the Prevention of Torture, which claims that 552 complaints were filed that year. The NGO said that 222 complaints were filed against the National Police, 79 against the Civil Guard, and 52 against the Catalan regional Mossos d’Esquadra. Still there were 72 fewer complaints than the previous year. The State Department also included public corruption as a rights violation against citizens. Washington said that the Spanish Attorney General’s Office had 730 open investigations last year – 264 cases involved the Socialist Party while 200 focused on the Popular Party (PP). Washington also observed that politicians known for their hardline stances against immigration had “gained ground” and highlighted concerns over the treatment of gypsies, Jews and illegal immigrants.

Conflict: Police and demonstrators in Barcelona

Children in poverty are real victims of the crisis El País

THE biggest victim of the financial crisis in Spain is the nation’s children, according to the head of UNICEF Spain, Paloma Escudero. Escudero stated in a presentation last Monday that over a quarter of Spain’s under 18-year-olds live in homes that fall below the 2010 poverty threshold. For the first time, children living in situations of deprivation in Spain outnumber the over-65s living in poverty, which was the worst-affected demographic until this year, at 21.7 per cent. Furthermore, the number of children on or below the poverty line has risen by 10 per cent since 2008. Families are classed as living in poverty if two adults and two children survive on an annual income of less than 16,400 euros. Of the 205,000 children in La Verdad this bracket, 13.7 percent live DESPITE the financial crisis plaguing Murcia and in families with a total income the rest of Spain, the regional Murcian president, of less than 11,000 euros. Ramon Luis Valcarcel (pictured left) is studying This is considered extreme the possibility of connecting the northern part of poverty. La Manga to San Javier by a tunnel underneath the Within the European Mar Menor. Union, only two countries A few years ago there was talk of a less ambitious footbridge over the two kilometre stretch of Bulgaria and Romania exceed this figure. water. Unemployment has also It was thought this would have a novelty factor and motivate visitors and local residents to jog, taken its toll. stroll or cycle in the fresh air across the sea water Some 714,000 families in lagoon. Spain have no working memHowever, Valcarcel commented in an assembly bers, a 120 per cent increase last week that the demand for access to the north- over 2007, according to ern part of the strip for vehicles was stronger than Eurostat figures. ever. “The cost of not acting now He went on to point out that during the high seawill not only affect the most son when La Manga is full, if an emergency were to vulnerable children and famioccur there would not be sufficient access, which lies today but will also jeopcould lead to a catastrophe. The idea of the tunnel must now be studied, but ardize the growth of society it will only be considered if planners can prove it in the medium and long would cause zero environmental damage. term,” said Escudero.

Is tunnel plan burying financial head in sand?

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Friday, June 01, 2012

UK HEADLINES

BRIT No.5 IN HOTEL BALCONY PLUNGE A HOLIDAYMAKER is fighting for his life in hospital after plunging from his second-floor hotel balcony in Majorca. Daniel Geary, 23, became the fifth fall victim in Magaluf in six weeks when he tumbled 20ft and landed on his back. It is understood he plunged from his room at the three-star Hotel Martinique on Sunday after a night out with pals. A senior Guardia Civil officer said: “This appears to have been an accident, possibly induced by heavy drinking.”

Daily Mirror

Chantelle Serginson... she survived

Spain’s emergency services have warned against a craze of “balconing”, leaping between rooms or into pools. The latest incident came only two days after Chantelle Serginson, 24, of Middlesbrough, survived an 80ft fall. A canopy broke her fall at the threestar Hotel Marina Barracuda but she still suffered skull and leg fractures. She was moved from intensive care to an ordinary hospital ward on Sunday. The Sun Her mum Kimberley said: “She’s in a lot of pain but she’s getting better.” Of the five balcony incidents, three people died. They were Adam Atkinson, 20, of Castleford, West Yorks, staying at the Martinique on AT LEAST 200 Britons are too fat to leave their homes. April 17; Benjamin Harper, Many of the 35st-plus patients are bed-ridden and 28, of South West London, on April 20 at the Sol Antillas and need four daily visits from healthcare assistants. Medication on top of that takes the cost to £80,000 on May 5, Charlotte Faris, 23, of Codicote, Herts, at the Teix. a year each — leaving the NHS with a £16million bill. It’s a trend worrying UK and But the real figure is more than likely much Spanish tourist industries. Already hoteliers are higher as the recorded 200 includes only those talking about new hotels havpatients the NHS has ing redesigned balconies. It’s also time for authorities kept tabs on. An unknown number to tackle bar reps inciting are supported by the youngsters to drink all they social care system can for 10 euros. rather than clinics and hospitals. Tam Fry, of the National Obesity Forum, said: “The number of A DRINK-DRIVER stopped in super-obese people who the middle of the night wearing only a nightshirt and are housebound is in the hundreds.” The problem was highlighted last week when underpants escaped a ban Britain’s fattest teenager Georgia Davis — who need- this week after a court acceped treatment related to her 63st weight — had to be ted that he was sleepwalking. taken to hospital in a huge operation involving 40 Police caught up with emergency workers. George MacDonald, 74, Her home in Aberdare, South Wales, had to be parowner of TV chef Rick Stein’s tially demolished to free her. favourite fish and chip shop,

Obesity weighs heavy on NHS

Daily Mail

Tube racist jailed for rant on Youtube A DRUNKEN secretary who hurled racist abuse at fellow Tube travellers in a tirade that was viewed by thousands of internet users across the world has been jailed for 21 weeks. Jacqueline Woodhouse, 42, launched a champagne-fuelled rant at passengers on the Central line, telling those seated near her: “I used to live in England and now I live in the United Nations.” The expletive-ridden video was recorded

Half-baked idea Daily Express BAKERY chain Greggs led celebrations on Tuesday after the Government’s “pasty tax” U-turn. Its shares jumped eight per cent after the Treasury ditched proposals from March’s Budget to slap 20 per cent VAT on baked takeaway snacks such as pasties, pies and sausage rolls unless they had cooled to “ambient temperature”. The levy will now be charged only on goods that are kept hot after coming out of the oven. Greggs had spearheaded a campaign warning that sales would be hit and jobs lost. Its chief executive Ken McMeikan said the Uturn was “fantastic news for the customer”.

Drink-sleeper escapes ban Daily Express after his wife, Lilian, 53, rang them to say something was wrong with him. The couple had enjoyed a Saturday night dinner with wine and a few gin and tonics at their home in Argyll and he went to bed about 11pm.

But at 3am, he got into his Saab and crashed into the garden fence, before driving to a car park where he said he woke in a state of terror. He was fined £500 and received nine penalty points after pleading guilty to drinkdriving at Oban Sheriff Court on Monday.

between St Paul’s and Mile End stations on January 23, before being uploaded to YouTube and viewed more than 200,000 times. The seven-minute clip was captured by fellow passenger Galbant Singh Juttla. Woodhouse, from Romford, Essex, was sentenced to 21 weeks behind bars - but will be eligible for release in just over 10 weeks. She was also given a five-year antisocial behaviour order which prevents her travelling on the London Underground or DLR while drunk.

Friday, June 01, 2012

HAIR WE GO! BAR Molino in La Zenia is teaming up with Maria and The Pink Ladies to hold a fundraising event for AECC. One of the bar’s regulars is undergoing treatment for lung cancer, prompting the fundraiser for a charity that fights the disease. Bobby Gee will host the fun this Saturday from 2pm. Hair loss will be a theme of the day, with ladies shaving heads and men getting legs waxed. Plus, there will be lots of great entertain-

ment from the likes of Stevie Spit, Nikki G, Roberta and Rob. Combined with a free buffet, raffle, auctions and horse racing in the evening, it promises to be an event with something for everyone. Staff and regulars at Bar Molino have worked hard to organise the fun, and all the money raised will go to Maria and the Pink Ladies, to be passed over to AECC. Maria will be attending the event to help and support everyone involved.

THE Orihuela Costa and District Branch of The Royal British Legion had a stand at the Homes, Gardens and Outdoor Living Exhibition at the Castillo de Conesa in San Miguel last week. They were there to inform the public of the RBL’s work in the community, recruit new members and raise funds for the 2012 Poppy Appeal. A hamper was raffled and the winning ticket was drawn by

TV guru BY GEORGE, chooses WHAT A DAY! winner TV gardening guru Charlie Dimmock. The winning ticket, No.124 was held by Mr. Neuton from San Pedro. More than €400 was raised over the two days. For details of RBL visit www.ori huelacostarbl.com

NOT only did St George slay the dragon at the recent St George’s Day fiesta in Playa Flamenca, he also raised a whopping €1,409 for charity, reports Councillor for Tourism and Beaches, Pedro Mancebo, who organised the fiesta. Mancebo thanked the charities in attendance - the Royal British Legion, Paul Cunningham Nurses, Age Concern, HAH and The Little Pod Foundation. He also thanked the Orihuela Costa Branch of Neighbourhood Watch and the German association, dTOC – Deutschsprachige Tisch, which supported the event. “It is just amazing how our neighbours and residents are willing to help each other,” said Mancebo.

GOLDEN MOMENTS

Big band gets into the mood

A little wizardry helps join Spanish and Brits

FRESH from a Gold Award-winning performance at the National Concert Band Festival at London’s Royal Academy of Music, CCCU Big Band memThe band’s singers, Claire department of Canterbury bers will be in Spain for Williams and Matt Hatrick, will Christ Church University. their third tour.

Under the direction of Mike sing selections from Frank Sinatra, Michael Bublé, Ella Hamnett (percussionist with Fitzgerald, Diana Krall, Tony The Lion King in London’s Bennett, Amy Winehouse and West End), CCCU has performed around the UK in The Rat Pack. The band is a Directed clubs and festivals as well as Ensemble of the music supporting charities. The tour starts at the CALLING all crafters and table-top sellers!) Join a Teatro Municipal in Torrevieja a craft event this Saturday at Sacko’s Bar, El on June 17, followed by venues in Alicante, 18, La Zona, Limonar from 1pm. Five euros per table, with proceeds going to the Los Narejos Murcia, 19, and La Finca restaurant at La Davila/Grewar Family Fund. For further information and to reserve a table call Manga Club, 20. The Murcia concerts are in support of Mary Brewer on 966 784 033. HAH Help at Home.

CCCU will perform tracks from its recently released second CD In The Mood, along with many other big band favourites from the bands of Glenn Miller, Duke Ellington, Benny Goodman, and more.

FOR a fun time head to LOZ MontesinOZ tonight (Friday) at 7.30pm or tomorrow at 2.30pm. Why? Because, because, because, because, because the Rojales Panto Group is performing its summer spectacular The Wizard of Oz, written in a pantomime style by the show’s director Barry Cox. After the last production, Barry was asked by the town hall in Los Montesinos if they could involve the Spanish community. The Panto Group rose to the challenge. Barry and partner Donald gained help and sponsorship from local Spanish companies. Mandy O’Hagan from entertainment agency Stars in Bars organised a

charity evening to raise money for the show, and Carmen Lorente, one of the best flamenco dancers on the Costa Blanca, who runs a dance school in the town, supplied students to take part. Hey presto, The Wizard was taking shape.

So, follow the Yellow Brick Road to the school of music in LOZ MontesinOZ to meet Dorothy and the crew, who are pictured above during rehearsals Tickets will be available on the door for €8 (adults) and €5 (children).

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? HERE at the Finca we have many different dogs. All have unique personalities and histories to match. But they have one thing in common - they all need a loving home. Should you be able to rehome, foster or sponsor one of the adorable dogs in our care, please call us today.

Finca La Castellana Animal Welfare Centre Call Eleanor, 677 381 111 Here are just two of the beautiful dogs waiting for you to give them a home. Sasha, right, is a sterilised, three-year-old Spanish Pointer cross. Due to unforeseen family circumstances she needs a new home. Sasha is the perfect family pet and is great with children Ozzy, left, is a solid and friendly Corgi who came to the kennels for a short stay and his owner didn’t

return to collect him. He has his full passport and is chipped. Ozzy is sevenyears-old and would make a fantastic family pet.

ROMUS, below, is a sixyear-old Pointer crossbreed who has been a resident at the SAT kennels in Dolores since December last year. He is friendly, good with other dogs, fully vaccinated and micro chipped. He really would love a new home with people to care for him.

SAT Kennels, 966 710 047 www.satanimalrescue.com This adorable puppy, right, is called Aldo. He is only three months old and one of an unwanted litter of three puppies who have been in our care at the SAT kennels since early April. He and his two little sisters are now fully vaccinated and micro chipped and ready to go to loving new homes. To advertise abandoned animals for rehoming, email details and photos to office@thecourier.es

Friday, June 01, 2012

MABS volunteers spring into action MABS Cancer Support Group in Mazarrón held its annual spring fair last Saturday at the Sensol Golf Club, Camposol. A host of stalls greeted hundreds of visitors with tempting cakes, preserves, books, ladies’ fashions, shoes, cosmetics and the ever-popular MABS tombola. MABS volunteers Annette Betts, Pauline Wetherill, Lyn Paxton and Pauline Ford became models for the day, showing off some very attractive ladies’ wear in the fashion show organised by Style Fashions. The day raised €1035.20 for Helping hands: From left, Gwyn Castle, MABS Mazarrón and the charity Cecilia Iliff and Sheila Shaughnessy thanked all the stall holders who continue to support the spring and that offers help and support to local people Christmas fairs, as well as everyone who of all nationalities who have been diagattends. nosed with or are being treated for cancer. Special thanks went to all the volunteers If you or someone you know has been who have given their time freely throughout affected by cancer and would like some the year to help those affected by cancer in confidential help or support call the MABS the Mazarrón area. helpline on 620 422 410 or visit the website MABS Mazarrón is a registered charity at www.mabsmurcia.com

Funshine Legion

A GRAND charity fun day took place in La Zenia last Saturday organised by Eddie Coleman and Jean Heald in aid of Cruz Roja and the Orihuela Costa district branch of The Royal British Legion. The day started with a march to La Zenia village led by the Torrevieja Pipes and Drums. The new branch mascot Megan, an Irish Wolfhound, followed behind along with the standards of RBL branches and members of other ex-service organisations. The salute was taken by the British vice consul for Alicante, Carolyn O'Reilly, the

Councillor for the Coast, Pedro Mancebo, and the chairman of The Royal British Legion Spain North, Chris Wyatt. The day was officially opened with a speech from Mancebo. A full afternoon of entertainment followed with a BBQ and visitors buying raffle tickets, cakes and bric-abrac from stalls. Some €2225.70 was raised over the day and shared between Cruz Roja and the Royal British Legion. For details on Orihuela Costa RBL visit www.orihuelacostarbl.com

Grand moment: The theatre group cheque in with £1,000 for SEM

AT the end of last Friday’s show, the Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group presented a cheque for €1000 to the local ambulance service, SEM, which serves San Fulgencio and La Marina urbanisation. The money was raised

SEMsational show through ticket sales from variety show Here We Go Again. The group said that judging from the audience’s reaction, and eagerness to

participate, everyone had a good time. The show, which featured Music Hall and seaside themes, will be performed again in October.

Friday, June 01,16, 2012 Friday, December 2011

Peugeot RCZ goes bling for the jubilee Peugeot and TOWIE teamed up to create this diamond encrusted RCZ for the Queen's jubilee. Would her majesty approve? In celebration of the Queen's diamond jubilee, Peugeot has built a one off bling-tastic version of its sporty RCZ model. The diamond encrusted car was specially commissioned by reality TV show The Only Way is Essex. The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) stars Cara Kilbey and Billi Mucklow were on hand to unveil the car to the public ahead of the jubilee celebrations this weekend. The amazing Peugeot RCZ coupe is covered in over 81,000 'Essex diamonds' (aka diamante) so it's not quite as expensive as it looks. According to Billi Mucklow: 'Anyone who knows us and TOWIE knows that style means everything, whether it's what you wear or what you drive. We really wanted to go all out for the diamond jubilee and what better way to acknowledge the Queen's amazing 60 years on the throne than by covering a car in diamonds!'' Apparently, Cara Kilbey was particularly fond of Peugeot's sleek Audi TT rivalling sports car. 'We knew it had to be an

RCZ as the car is sensual, sexy and curvaceous - just like us! The double bubble roofline is also unique; the RCZ just gives us goose bumps every time we see it - even before it had diamonds covering it.' The diamonds on the RCZ were applied by hand by specialist modification company Vehicle Wrapping Manchester. It took a team of eight people just under a week to complete. Sorry to disappoint but this blingmobile is not for sale. You could buy an RCZ from Peugeot and have a go at sticking the diamonds on yourself if you are that way inclined. The car opens at around ÂŁ21,000 and you'll pay over ÂŁ25,000 for the top diesel-engined model. The quickest version Peugeot makes is the 1.6 THP turbo petrol model. It delivers 200hp and can cover the 0-60mph trip in 7.5 seconds Handy for losing those pesky paparazzi on your tail but you might lose a few diamonds in the process.

Friday, June 01, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 8 represents Y and 26 represents F, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Dag set out and put on a show (6) 4 Men of the cloth hidden behind drapes (6) 9 Copy parcel I damaged (7) 10 Look and you will find I’m a generous person (5) 11 Leave a West Country river at its conclusion (5) 12 Hate rude kid’s lie (7) 13 He is kneaded badly for a children’s game (43-4) 18 Stare hostilely when I bawl loudly (7) 20 Porter right on his toes (5) 22 Change old German sovereign (5) 23 Old soldier never at the wrong place (7) 24 Frenchman hates meandering river (6) 25 Remove delegate and Latin sweetheart (6)

Down 1 Course of ship circling lake (6) 2 A topless specimen is quite enough (5) 3 A letter from Paul, sleep it off (7) 5 A young woman is not right (5) 6 Understand how to convert into cash (7) 7 Notice signal to stop and get angry (3,3) 8 Gandhi novel reveals close cooperation (4,2,5) 14 I retain ingredients for inactivity (7) 15 Street art the French fear (7) 16 The meal is about history (6) 17 Laurel goes to church, despite having attitude (6) 19 Eager, though wrong, to correspond (5) 21 A key year, that is, for a home on high (5)

STANDARD CLUES

Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ash Bee Big Bin Bus Ere Gas Gun Lie Mum Oca Per Sea Set Sit Tan

4 letter words Acme Aloe Also Alum

Anon Arts Asia Came Coup Dabs Demo Drop Elan Inky Lest Like Loan Loin Lone Odds Ogee Ones Ooze Opus Peep Port Rigs

Rile Rope Sack Saga Sale Seed Sign Skis Sumo Test Vest

5 letter words Allot Array Barmy Break Drops Gizmo Gloss Hakes Iambi Lined

Opera Osier Rogue Route Sales Seine Serum Snore Strap Stray Terms Timer

6 letter words Leaves Passes Rioter Sateen

8 letter words Americas Littoral Purposes Trousers

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

Across 1 Apparition (7) 5 Venomous snake (5) 8 Malady (7) 9 Fertile desert area (5) 10 Automaton (5) 11 Heighten (7) 12 Type of golf club (6) 14 Counsel (6) 17 Surgical knife (7) 19 Angle (5) 22 Set of values (5) 23 Shake up (7) 24 Reads fast (5) 25 Set aside (7)

Down 1 Previous (5) 2 Improvise a speech (2-3) 3 Playhouse (7) 4 Original document (6) 5 Fabric (5) 6 Breed of dog (7) 7 Stern (7) 12 Own (7) 13 Windpipe (7) 15 Let go (7) 16 For all time (6) 18 Sits for a picture (5) 20 Mindful (5) 21 Trample (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Apse, 3 Marmoset, 9 Suppose, 10 Tease, 11 React, 12 Gyrate, 14 Costly, 16 Eczema, 19 Nausea, 21 Issue, 24 After, 25 Agitate, 26 Paradise, 27 Less. Down: 1 Abstract, 2 Sepia, 4 Avenge, 5 Motor, 6 Startle, 7 Tied, 8 Mortal, 13 Careless, 15 Shatter, 17 Crisis, 18 Harass, 20 Shred, 22 Shame, 23 Gasp.

Scribble Pad

1 Set (6) 1 Presented (6) 2 More than enough (5) 4 Chaplains (6) 3 Long letter (7) 9 Reproduction (7) 5 Wrong (5) 10 Picture (5) 6 Understand (7) 11 Formal leave of 7 Become angry (3,3) absence (5) 8 In close collusion (4,2,5) 12 Aversion (7) 13 Children’s game (4-3-4) 14 Inactiveness (7) 18 Stare at closely (7) 15 Surprise (7) 20 Attentive (5) 16 Meal (6) 22 Change (5) 17 Position (6) 23 Ex-serviceman (7) 19 Concur (5) 24 Longest river in 21 Lofty nest of bird of England (6) prey (5) 25 Erase (6) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Sea legs, 5 Trees, 8 Aviator, 9 Shake, 10 Sieve, 11 Needled, 12 Chaser, 14 Gander, 17 Precede, 19 Rasps, 22 Elope, 23 Stamina, 24 Sweet, 25 Sheathe. Down: 1 Scars, 2 Abide, 3 Extreme, 4 Sarong, 5 Taste, 6 Enabled, 7 Slender, 12 Cypress, 13 Anemone, 15 Air base, 16 Census, 18 Elect, 20 Saint, 21 Shave.

Across

Down

1 Hormiga (3) 3 Cabezas (de personas) (5) 6 Todo (en su totalidad) (3) 8 Church (building) (7) 9 See 3 Down 10 Sheep (5) 11 As well as (3,4) 12 Desvanes (6) 14 Golden (in colour) (6) 17 Waterfall (7) 19 Grúa (5) 21 Arriba (indicando situación) (5) 22 Asombroso (7) 23 Un (3) 24 Seven (5) 25 Deber (dinero, explicación, respeto) (3)

1 Friend (5) 2 El más alto (7) 3/9 See you, bye (5,5) 4 To put out (extinguish) (6) 5 Whistle (sound) (7) 6 Fir tree (5) 7 Tearful (eyes, voice) (7) 12 Elderly old man (7) 13 Capillas (7) 15 Fan (hand-held) (7) 16 Desfile (6) 18 Humo (de fuego, cigarro) (5) 19 Code (cipher) (5) 20 Águila (ave) (5)

Friday, June 01, 2012 Across 1 What name is given to a projecting support of stone or brick built against a wall? (8) 7/11 Which English nurse was executed by the Germans during the First World War for helping Allied soldiers to escape from occupied Belgium? (5,6) 8 What name is given to the attainment or acquisition of a position of rank or power, typically that of monarch or president? (9) 9 Wych and slippery are both types of which tall deciduous tree that typically has rough serrated leaves and propagates from root suckers? (3) 10 By what more common name is the bone the tibia better known? (4) 11 See 7 13 Which title of Roman emperors was especially applied to those from Augustus to Hadrian? (6) 14 Which informal name for a stringed instrument can also mean to commit fraud and steal from one’s employer? (6) 17 What can be an edible Mediterranean plant of the cabbage family, a cylindrical projectile or a severe reprimand? (6) 18 Which orchestral instrument has an upright frame, with pedals that enable the strings to be re-tuned to different keys? (4) 20 What name is given to the system of four basic types into which human blood may be classified? (3) 22 What name is given to a lamp for providing momentary light to take a photograph? (5,4) 23 What is the name of the joint that connects the foot with the leg? (5) 24 See 17 Down

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

Down 1 Which metal alloy is made of copper and zinc? (5) 2 Which adjective means of or connected with the sense of touch? (7)

3 What was the surname of the seamstress who, according to legend, fashioned the first flag of the United States? (4) 4 In Judaism, what name is given to a period of seven days of mourning after the death of close relative? (6) 5 In computer science, what name is given to the smallest discrete component of an image or picture on a CRT screen, usually a coloured dot? (5) 6 Popular in the 1920s, which loose-fitting dress hangs straight from the shoulders without a waist? (7) 7 What name is applied to a disease (or condition) regularly found among particular people or in a certain area? (7) 12 Which group’s only British top 10 hit single was Every Day Hurts, which reached number three in 1979? (3,4) 13 Which city is the capital of Venezuela? (7) 15 Which Transylvanian vampire was created by Bram Stoker? (7) 16 Carson City is the capital of which state of the US, acquired from Mexico in 1848? (6) 17/24 Which American boxer became world heavyweight champion in 1952 and successfully defended his title six times until he retired, undefeated, in 1956? (5,8) 19 What was the first name of the Spanish painter Picasso? (5) 21 Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah Yowsah Yowsah) and Le Freak were both British top 10 hit singles for which American group? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Prepositional phrases 3 Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

sports QUIZ

1. The Discus 2. 7 3. Eagle 4. Freddie Starr 5. Jimmy Connors 6. He played whilst smoking a pipe 7. Kenny Dalglish 8. 23 9. Malta 10. Cambridge 11. Edinburgh

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Highgate, 8 Demi Moore, 9/12 Che Guevara, 10 Soho, 11 Carafe, 13 Cherub, 14 Hummus, 17 Severn, 18 Ares, 20 Dee, 22 Richelieu, 23 Delta, 24 Jeff Beck. Down: 1 Hades, 2 Gumshoe, 3 Game, 4/7A Thomas Blood, 5 Joyce, 6 Adverbs, 7 Belarus, 13 Candida, 15 Marmite, 16 Oracle, 17 Seals, 19 Skunk, 21 Deaf.

en contra

consistir en

en efecto

en absoluto

en la actualidad

en broma

en lugar de

en busca de

esforzarse en

en cambio

fijarse en

en consecuencia

influir en

Match the English and Spanish names of fruit and vegetables. You will find the answers at the bottom of the page. 13.esforzarse en, 1.en la actualidad, h.to consist of, 14.fijarse en, 15.influir en, 2.en broma, i.against, 16.en vivo. 3. en lugar de, j.to affect, 4.en absoluto, k.indeed, a.not at all, 5.aplicarse en, l.to try hard to, b.at present, 6.en busca de, m.to devote oneself to, c.instead of, 7.en cambio, o.to notice, p.live d.as a joke, 8.en consecuencia, e.on the other hand, 9.consistir en, f.as a result, 10.en consecuencia, 11.en contra, 12.en efecto, g.in search of,

Answers 1b, 2d, 3c, 4a, 5m, 6g, 7e, 8f, 9h, 10f, 11i, 12k, 13l, 14o, 15j, 16p

1. The Greek God Apollo Accidently Killed His Friend Hyacinthus While Practising For Which Sporting Event? 2. What Do The Opposite Sides Of A Standard Dice Always Total? 3. What is the name of a golf stroke that is 2 under Parr for the hole? 4. Minniehoma Is A Former Grand National Winner Owned By Which Comedian? 5. Who Was Wimbledon Men's Singles Champion In 1974 And Again In 1982? 6. What was unusual about Ted Schraeder's appearance at Wimbledon in the 1949 tournament? 7. As Of Jan 2009 Which Scottish Footballer Has Earned The Most Caps For His Country? 8. How Old Was Steve Davis When He Won His First Snooker World Title? 9. Tony Drago is a snooker professional from which country? 10. Which crew sank in the 1978 boat race? 11. In Which City Do Hearts Face Hibs In A Derby Match?

aplicarse en

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Fill It In

Friday, June 01, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY All systems low for our man Engelhurt POOR old Engelbert Humperdinck, second choice to Jason Donovan, for picking up this year’s UK Chalice of Death for Eurovision. Wearing a £2million pendant given to him by Elvis Presley, the old crooner was first on stage in Saturday’s Song Contest in Baku, and ended up coming second from bottom. I thought the song was all right and deserved a better placing, and I have to be honest and remind you of my bold prediction last week that it would finish in the top half! No chance, but when a hysterical hyena from Albania gets lots of votes, it’s easy to work out why Jason decided to give it all a very wide berth! There was a good winner, though, Loreen doing the business for Sweden with

with ALEX TRELINSKI her dance track, Euphoria, which absolutely walked it. Thank heavens for that, as it kept out the pathetic and puerile Russian grannies and a stupid number that a fouryear-old kid on medication could have performed better. Meanwhile, I thought that Pastora Soler was worthy of a higher place than tenth for

Spain, as she had a cracking tune and belted it out like a real trooper. Azerbaijan’s TV service did an OK job in presenting the night, but a lot of the fillers were boring and repetitive and lacking any sense of fun or fizz, which I‘m certain Swedish TV will bring us next year. Fortunately the BBC had Graham Norton on commentary to lighten the mood with some well-targeted jibes at the way the country’s ruling family dictatorship were skewing the evening for their own agenda, as well as his views on the predictable voting patterns. As for the UK next year, why not give the winner of The Voice the chance to fly the flag, with will.I.am writing the song? Just an idea!

Talking of The Voice, we reach the final on BBC1 tomorrow night, with my money on either Bo or Tyler to be the winner. With some recent highprofile sports rights losses, the BBC have had plenty to crow about in the last week over its football rights. Two big deals mean that Match of the Day and, perhaps somewhat surprisingly (in a nice way), The Football League Show that follows it on a Saturday night on BBC1, will be with us for at least the next three years. Those two shows, back to back, are a cracking review of the Saturday soccer action, and it also shows some intelligent thinking from both the Premier League and the Football League, that they and the viewers would be badly second-changed if

the highlights went elsewhere. The words ITV and Sport have never mixed well since the channel first started in 1955. There’s something that’s never been quite right about ITV doing sport, and it’s nothing to do with the ad breaks as broadcasters like Channel Four and Sky have been just as professional as the BBC. So, as a big tennis fan, I’ve been impressed by ITV’s first foray into Grand Slam tennis in the modern era, with their extensive coverage of the French Open from Paris. It was a surprise move to go for the rights, but with a professional team of commentators, and the experienced John Inverdale hosting, it has so far been a good effort, and incidentally, I think Inverdale is a far better ten-

nis anchor than the BBC’s Sue Barker. The coverage has certainly been superior to the sterile BBC coverage from Paris over recent years, which was often hidden behind a red button, with the commentators sitting in a booth in London. What is it about the month of May that wreaks havoc in the corridors of Casualty and Holby City? Every year around this time, we see mass cast changes and comings and goings on both BBC dramas, which I can only presume ties in with the annual cast contract renewals! One name to look out for soon on Casualty is a new nurse, Fletch, played by none other than Alex Walkinshaw, better known as

The Courier Friday TV 00:45 A Fish Called Wanda 02:30 Holiday Weatherview 02:35 Panorama 03:05 Countryfile 04:00 Antiques Roadshow 05:00 The 1952 Show 05:45 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 A Jubilee Tribute to the Queen by the Prince of Wales 22:00 EastEnders 22:30 Have I Got News for You 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

06:00 Schools - Coping 06:30 Schools - Love Hurts 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Charlie and Lola 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Pinky Dinky Doo 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons 09:45 Big City Park 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Louie 11:35 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Odd Man Out 14:30 Live Horse Racing 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 TOTP2 20:30 Diamond Jubilee - The Queen on Tour 21:00 Great British Menu 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 The Great British Story: A People's History 23:00 Episodes 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 01:30 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Poms in Paradise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Elizabeth: Queen, Wife, Mother 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:45 Stiff Upper Lips

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket 01:10 The Secret Millionaire 02:10 Edward VIII: The Plot to Topple a King 03:05 Unreported World 03:30 Dispatches 04:00 Hidden Talent 04:55 Deal or No Deal 05:50 Glamour Puds 06:20 Countdown 07:05 The Treacle People 07:15 Channel 4 Presents 07:20 The Hoobs 07:45 The Hoobs 08:10 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 According to Jim 09:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Four in a Bed 13:35 The Kitchen Pharmacy 13:50 Battleground 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:30 Very Important People 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

STIFF UPPER LIPS 00:20 She-Wolves: England's Early Queens 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Schools - Head Case

Period drama parody starring Peter Ustinov and Prunella Scales. Upper class Edward's plan to play Cupid between his best chum Cedric and sister Emily goes awry when she falls for a local boy. Traumatised by her niece's desire to court below her class, Aunt Agnes organises a family trip overseas.

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 Although you never really felt like you made a difference yesterday, your kind words and understanding made the world spin 0.0001% faster for approximately 3 nano-seconds. Tantalising new evidence that you're about to have fun is going to reveal itself today. The odds that you'll escape today without a serious injury, are incalculable.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 The horse you received in the mail has a diamond-studded golden tooth. Just thought I'd mention it. 7. For no reason, I'm just going to throw the number 7 at you. SEVEN. Your neighbour's taste for loud music may cause them to incur an unfortunate accident. You may feel like starving yourself today in order to lose some weight.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 The Americanisation of many words often gets you angry. However, don't get upset about such trivial things - it is evolution of a sort and doesn't actually affect you in the slightest. Color center. It's marvellous. No, really, it is absolutely marvellous. You'll see. Deja vu is not a thai dish that you had two weeks ago.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Today will make it hard for you to make any sense of roofle wimblipickstone. You are now as you will be for the rest of your life. Gifts can be given and received at the same time, but fights can start over the simplest of things. Someone will approach you today with an attitude you cannot get on with at all.

June 01

00:50 The World of Stupid Criminals 01:15 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Restaurant Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Carolina Moon 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 War Hero in My Family 21:00 Mega Builders 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 I give you permission to do what you want to, today. The end is more like the beginning than you'd think. Many of the best lyrics are attributable today. Take into consideration that most songs are about love and adversity. All the things you're unsure of will almost certainly remain enigmatic by the end of the day.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Terrible things will happen to someone you hate today. You may feel joyous. This week may cause some problems for you as your secrets are shared across the internet. Romantic evenings are much overrated. Instead of romance, think about flying donkeys.Fly in the face of conventional wisdom and wear a policeman's helmet.

Libra September 23 - October 22 The life of a party you most certainly aren't this weekend. Everything you do today will be a lousy job, and the effort would be best spent surfing websites about mucky buttons. Weekend "raves" are not something that happen to you anymore. But it's okay, you have things like Wogan instead.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 If you think you've got problems today, just wait until tomorrow! You have a personality that makes people smile, and that is worth exploiting today in any way you see fit. Skeletons in your closet are a sign that you have an eventful life and are nothing to be embarrassed about. When the fish wander home cooking gently, who'll be there to open the froth?

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Although you have been getting gradually more and more tired over the last few days, you'll find new energy this weekend. Your favourite colour will today start to look a little different. Lunchtime is the best time of day for you today. Love may be in the air for one lucky person tonight. I'm talking world-wide here, not about you UGLY!

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers. Whenever you feel unhappy today, smile and go to the toilet. This action should soon turns things around for you. The opportunities you once had are all but gone. Seize any new opportunity with all your might.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 This week may turn out to be a complete waste of all your time and efforts. Keep an eye on your watch today as time might run away from you. A chance encounter with someone you hate will leave you feeling bitter and angry today. Screaming seems to be on the agenda for you, too.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Don't take everything you have for granted - insure everything for 125% of the original cost. "Thinking strategically" is a cop-out. You did what you did because you're a selfish competitive little person. If you can't see what the fuss is all about this week, try thinking about it from someone else's point of view.

The Courier Saturday TV

June 2

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 White Van Man 01:00 EastEnders 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 Silk 04:00 Question Time 05:00 The 1952 Show 05:45 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Live Horse Racing 17:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 17:45 Pointless Celebrities 18:35 Ratatouille 20:20 The Voice UK 22:20 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 22:30 Casualty 23:20 BBC News; Weather 23:40 National Lottery Update 23:40 The Apprentice

00:00 00:45 00:50 02:45 04:10 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 05:45

The Review Show Weather Frida Taken BBC News Click Newswatch BBC News On the Road With Close

07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney's Barrier Reef 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Alesha's Street Dance Stars 09:35 The Slammer 10:00 Blue Peter 10:30 The Ministry of Curious Stuff 11:00 Animals at Work 11:30 Splatalot 11:55 Copycats 12:25 OOglies 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:10 Robin and the 7 Hoods 15:10 Shall We Dance 16:50 Escape to the Country 17:50 Flog It! 18:50 The Story of Light Entertainment 19:50 Dad's Army 20:20 Arts Troubleshooter 21:20 The Culture Show 22:20 QI XL 23:05 Robin Gibb: Me and My Songs, a Tribute" 23:35 TOTP2

01:35 ITV News Headlines 03:40 The Towering Inferno 06:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Saturday Cookbook 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:15 Live French Open Tennis 17:00 Meridian News and Weather 17:15 ITV News and Weather 17:30 Live International Football 20:30 You Cannot Be Serious! 21:00 The Cube 22:00 The Greatest Footie Ads Ever 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 International Football 23:45 Demolition Man

THE VOICE UK After four weeks of blind auditions, two battle rounds and five live shows, the final is here - with Bo, Leanne, Tyler and Vince all eager to be crowned The Voice 2012 and win a recording contract. Holly Willoughby and Reggie Yates present as the hopefuls perform a new solo number, a duet with their coaches and their best song of the series, after which it's over to the voting public to decide who they want as their winner

00:05 Stand Up for the Week 00:55 Channel 4's Comedy Gala 03:25 Random Acts 03:30 My Name Is Earl 03:50 Dirty Sexy Money 04:35 Dirty Sexy Money 05:20 Crash Bang Wallow 05:25 Home Road Movies 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 British Formula Ford Championship 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Prometheus: T4 Movie Special 10:25 Made in Chelsea 11:30 Love Shaft 12:05 The Big Bang Theory 12:40 Revenge 13:45 The Simpsons 14:20 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 Deal or No Deal 17:45 Come Dine with Me 18:10 Come Dine with Me 18:45 Come Dine with Me 19:20 Come Dine with Me 19:50 Channel 4 News 20:15 4thought.tv 20:20 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 City of Friends 07:25 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Castle Farm 07:45 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Family! 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Milkshake! Monkey 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:20 Roary the Racing Car 10:35 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:05 The Gadget Show: World Tour 12:05 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 13:05 Carson City 14:50 Objective, Burma! 17:35 5 News Weekend 17:40 The Secret Garden 19:45 NCIS 20:45 NCIS 21:35 CSI: Miami 22:20 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:20 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

The Courier Sunday TV

June 3

00:40 Live at the Apollo 01:10 Horse Racing 01:40 Weatherview 01:45 Reporters 02:00 BBC News 02:30 Cannes 2012 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Bargain Hunt 13:30 Songs of Praise 14:05 BBC News 14:30 The Diamond Jubilee Thames Pageant 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:30 Countryfile 20:30 Gary Barlow - On Her Majesty's Service 21:30 The Apprentice 23:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:55 The Diamond Jubilee Thames Pageant Highlights

00:20 Sings Bee Gees 00:50 Fame 03:00 Close

07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney's Barrier Reef 08:30 Dennis and Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 08:40 The Owl 09:05 Scoop 09:30 Wingin' It 09:50 Shaun the Sheep 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Great British Menu 13:00 Escape to the Country 13:30 Live MotoGP 15:00 World BMX Championships 15:30 Gymnastics 17:30 Triathlon 18:45 Points of View 19:00 Flog It! 20:00 Singapore 1942: End of Empire 21:00 Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 22:00 Coast 23:00 TOTP2 23:30 When Disco Ruled the World

01:55 ITV News Headlines 04:00 In Plain Sight 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Dinner Date 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Live French Open Tennis 19:00 Meridian News and Weather 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 All the Queen's Horses: A Diamond Jubilee Special 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Vera

THE APPRENTICE After 11 weeks of over-enthusiastic wine-tasting, serving slop as gourmet food, sticking legs on suitcases and boardroom backstabbing, the remaining candidates gather for a four-way battle to determine who will set up in business with Alan Sugar, and receive a ÂŁ250,000 cash injection to get their new company off the ground.

00:05 02:20 04:15 05:00 05:40 06:30 07:15 07:25 07:50 08:15 08:20 08:45 09:10 09:35 10:00 10:30 11:00 13:30 13:55 14:25 14:50 15:25 17:25 19:15 20:20 20:50 20:55 21:00 22:00

Alien 21 Grams Stand Up for the Week Smallville St Elsewhere Countdown The Treacle People The Hoobs The Hoobs Channel 4 Presents FIM World Superbikes Slateman Triathlon Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons She's the Man Charlotte's Web Celebrity Deal or No Deal Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Political Slot SuperScrimpers District 9

00:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:15 SuperCasino 05:00 Great Artists 05:25 Nick's Quest 05:45 Rough Guide to Adventures 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:40 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family! 08:35 Noddy in Toyland 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 Mio Mao 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:20 Roary the Racing Car 10:35 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 Meerkat Manor 11:45 Grey's Anatomy 12:45 Elizabeth II: A Diamond Jubilee Celebration 13:45 War Hero in My Family 14:50 Riders of Vengeance 16:25 Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger 18:40 Big Daddy 20:30 Once Upon a Time 21:30 Ultimate Police Interceptors 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 The Ninth Gate

The Courier Monday TV

June 4

01:25 The Sky at Night 01:45 Weatherview 01:50 National Treasures - Jubilee Special 02:50 Holby City 03:50 Two Greedy Italians 04:50 Great British Railway Journeys 05:20 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Fake Britain 10:45 Fake Britain 11:30 Homes Under the Hammer 12:30 Cowboy Trap 13:15 Bargain Hunt 10th Anniversary Special 14:15 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 A Jubilee Tribute to the Queen by the Prince of Wales 15:45 Britain's Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 16:45 The Queen's Palaces 17:45 Pointless 18:30 BBC News 18:30 Weather 19:00 Regional News Programmes 19:30 The One Show 20:30 The Diamond Jubilee Concert 23:45 BBC News

00:30 01:00 02:50 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:20 07:00 07:10

Episodes The Hoax On the Road With Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Close The Pingu Show Pinky Dinky Doo

07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 09:45 Big City Park 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Ring of Bright Water 14:10 College Road Trip 15:30 Escape to the Country 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 The Battle of Britain 23:30 The Terminator

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:19 Meridian Weather 00:20 The Cube 01:20 The Store 03:30 British Superbike Championship Highlights 04:30 Motorsport UK 05:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 Murder, She Wrote 13:25 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:40 Meridian News and Weather 14:45 Midsomer Murders 16:45 Countrywise 17:45 Elizabeth: Queen, Wife, Mother 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 You've Been Framed! 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Queen and I 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Quantum of Solace

THE DIAMOND JUBILEE CONCERT A host of singers and musicians from the rock, pop and classical worlds join together on the same stage to pay tribute to the Queen on the occasion of her Diamond Jubilee. The brainchild of Gary Barlow, the live concert features Jessie J, Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams, JLS, Elton John, Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey, Jools Holland, Annie Lennox, Madness, Paul McCartney, Cliff Richard, Ed Sheeran, Stevie Wonder and Grace Jones, all performing their most popular songs

00:05 Broken Arrow 02:15 Camelot 03:10 The Moonbird 03:25 Shapes 03:30 Hollyoaks 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 Channel 4 Presents 13:40 Star Trek: the Motion Picture 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:25 4thought.tv 20:30 Come Dine with Me 21:30 Gok Cooks Chinese 22:00 The Secret Millionaire 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 23:50 The Hoarder Next Door

00:30 The Walking Dead 01:30 The World of Stupid Criminals 02:00 SuperCasino 05:00 The FBI Files 05:45 Rough Guide to Activity Holidays 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:25 The Mr Men Show 08:40 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Monkey 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 13:15 Meerkat Manor 13:45 Home and Away 14:15 Neighbours 14:45 Law & Order 15:45 Wonderful Life 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Update 20:35 World's Most Extreme Airports 22:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Countdown 23:00 The Walking Dead

The Courier Tuesday TV

June 5

00:00 Regional News and Weather 00:10 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 00:50 The Graham Norton Show 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 A Jubilee Tribute to the Queen by the Prince of Wales 02:40 Divine Women 03:40 Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 04:10 Great British Railway Journeys 04:40 Great British Menu 05:10 Great British Menu 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Diamond Jubilee Service of Thanksgiving 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Regional News and Weather 14:30 The Diamond Jubilee Carriage Procession 16:45 The Diamond Jubilee Concert Highlights 18:30 BBC News 18:45 Regional News Programmes 19:00 The One Show 19:30 Rolf Paints - the Diamond Jubilee 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Silk 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Diamond Jubilee Weekend Highlights

07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:30 Leon 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 09:45 Big City Park 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Teacher's Pet 13:40 Tom's Midnight Garden 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 Horizon 23:00 QI 23:30 The Prestige

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:14 Meridian Weather 00:15 In Plain Sight 01:10 Jackpot247 03:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:35 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 The Queen's Diamond Jubilee 17:00 Ade in Britain 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Trash to Treasure 21:00 Countrywise 22:00 Martin Clunes: The Lemurs of Madagascar 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:10 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:15 The Nation's Favourite Bee Gees Song

THE PRESTIGE 01:10 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:15 The Super League Show 05:00 Languages & Travel: Speaking Sport 05:30 Languages & Learning: La Mappa Misteriosa

Period mystery thriller starring Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. Victorian magicians Robert Angier and Alfred Borden have been bitter rivals since an onstage tragedy when they were learning their trade. However, their determination to ruin each other's reputation will only stop when one of them is dead.

00:50 Random Acts 00:55 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 01:55 Girl Who Cries Blood 02:50 The Page Turner 04:15 Emily's Song 04:30 Undressing My Mother 04:35 St Elsewhere 05:25 Smallville 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 River Cottage 13:50 Channel 4 Presents 13:55 Star Trek: Generations 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 22:00 Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket 23:00 All in the Best Possible Taste with Grayson Perry

00:00 The Ninth Gate 02:35 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 HouseBusters 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:25 The Mr Men Show 08:40 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Monkey 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Animal Rescue Squad 13:35 Home and Away 14:05 Neighbours 14:35 Viva Las Vegas 16:15 Mystery Woman: Snapshot 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 War Hero in My Family 21:00 Big Brother 22:00 Big Brother 23:45 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

The Courier Wednesday TV June 6

01:05 La Bamba 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 The Apprentice 03:55 The Apprentice 04:55 Crime and Punishment 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; 16:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 HH: Gory Games 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 22:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 National Lottery Update

01:35 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Languages & Travel: Mi Vida Loca 06:00 Languages & Travel: Le Francais au Pluriel 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Pinky Dinky Doo

07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 Leon 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 09:45 Big City Park 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:30 Louie 11:40 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:50 Waybuloo 12:10 In the Night Garden 12:40 Anne of Green Gables 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Animal Park 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 The Secret History of Our Streets 23:00 Sounds of the 70s 2 23:30 Weather

00:45 The Unforgettable 01:45 ITV News Headlines 04:15 Loose Women 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Eiger Sanction

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:15 Poker 02:15 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:40 Sailing 03:05 The Grid 03:35 British Formula Ford Championship 04:00 Slateman Triathlon 04:30 FIM World Superbikes 05:00 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 05:25 FIA GT1 World Championship 06:20 Deal or No Deal 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Three in a Bed 14:05 Ivanhoe 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Secret Eaters 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 The Killing 23:55 Random Acts

THE SECRET HISTORY OF OUR STREETS New series. The fortunes of six London streets since the Victorian era, recalling a series of maps started by `social explorer' Charles Booth in 1886, recording the social class and lifestyles of the capital's inhabitants by a system of colour-coding. First up is Deptford High Street, which in Booth's time was dubbed the Oxford Street of south London but is now one of the city's poorest shopping areas.

Tune in all next week to hear our world famous TKO FM Power Play & TKO Gold Future Gold Track TKO FM - WEEKLY POWER PLAY Kylie Minouge - Time Bomb Pop diva Kylie Minogue continues her year-long celebration of her 25 years in the music business with the release of her new single and video for "Timebomb." On June 3rd, Minogue will perform at the all-star Queen's Diamond Jubilee Concert.

TKO GOLD - FUTURE GOLD TRACK Gotye - Somebody I Used To Know On 12 February 2012, the single "Somebody That I Used to Know" reached #1 on the UK Singles chart. The next week it fell from the top spot but on 26 February, it reached the top spot for a second time, where it remained for a total of five weeks

On TKO Gold this Sunday we have an exclusive Jubilee Show "60 For The Queen" between 6 & 9pm. The show will feature ALL 60 number ones during the reign of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Don’t forget to join the TKO Roadshow on June 3rd from 4pm in the Parc de Naciones to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and don’t forget to bring your own refreshments for the street party.

00:45 Urban Legend 02:35 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:25 HouseBusters 05:45 HouseBusters 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:25 The Mr Men Show 08:40 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Monkey 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Animal Rescue Squad 12:25 5 News Lunchtime 12:35 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Ike: Countdown to D-Day 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Big Brother

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ June 2nd Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm. 1. Belinda Carlisle was lead singer with this girl group. 2. On the same theme the lead singer with the Four Tops in their prime. 3. Who do we know Arnold Dorsey better as. 4. Who was the female singer with the Velvet Underground. 5. Anni Frid Lyngstad of Abba was born in which country. 6. Staying with geography in which city were Men At Work formed. 7. What sort of summer did Brooks & Dunn experience. 8. This group were living The Life Of Riley in 1992. 9. This Rip It Up rocker was born in Macon Georgia in 1935. 10. In 1965 Roger Miller had a number 9 something. 11. Chaka Khan joined this group in 1971.

The Courier Thursday TV

June 7

00:30 The Getaway 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 See Hear 02:55 Great Ormond Street 03:55 Fake Britain 04:40 The Town Taking on China 05:40 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Diddy Dick & Dom 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Young Dracula 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Britain's Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 22:00 Call the Midwife 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 Barry Hearn: The People's Promoter 01:10 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Real Chinese

07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 League of Super Evil 08:45 Frankenstein's Cat 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 09:45 Big City Park 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Zingzillas 11:05 Iconicles 11:25 Woolly & Tig 11:35 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Anne of Windy Poplars 14:00 Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Heir Hunters 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 Springwatch Unsprung 22:30 The Fruit 'n' Veg Market: Inside New Spitalfields 23:30 Newsnight

01:55 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Barb Wire 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 May the Best House Win 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 William at 30 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Martin Clunes: The Lemurs of Madagascar

MARCO PIERRE WHITEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S KITCHEN WARS New series. Cookery contest with a difference, as the restaurateur hits the road in a bid to find the UK's best chef and front-of-house team. Travelling in his portable kitchen, the no-nonsense culinary expert searches not only for great cooks, but people able to present food with style, and if the teams do not come to him, he surprises them in their own restaurants.

00:00 2 Broke Girls 00:30 Desperate Housewives 01:30 Subculture 01:45 Roots Presents 02:00 Spotlight 02:10 Aiden Grimshaw: Intro 02:25 Mercury Prize Sessions 02:40 Launched at Red Bull Studios 02:50 Blackball 04:25 Much Ado About a Minor Ting 04:55 Smallville 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Undercover Boss Australia 11:00 Location, Location, Location 12:00 The Renovation Game 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Three in a Bed USA 14:00 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 14:15 The Violent Men 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 22:00 The House the 50s Built 23:00 24 Hours in A&E

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Poker: The Big Game 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:25 HouseBusters 05:45 HouseBusters 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:25 The Mr Men Show 08:40 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 Law & Order 16:20 Jane Doe: Yes, I Remember it Well 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 Marco Pierre White's Kitchen Wars 23:00 Big Brother

Friday, June 01, 2012

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International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during

the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

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Friday, June 01, 2012

PERSONAL BEAUTIFUL, caring woman (35) gives fun, pleasurable massage and more, Private Flat Villamartin, Liddy 677 865 831

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata. Close to all amenities and beach. 3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars,

restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apart-

ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant. Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria,

EURO COAT PAINTING SERVICE

Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished,

ENERGY SAVER

Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242

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Friday, June 01, 2012

Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof- top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course. Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, inter-

com system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242

LOCKSMITH

Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked. Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel

KENNELS

LIMOUSINES

heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceiling fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk-in shower, fitted wardrobes. Decorative tiling inside and out. Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, established gardens, water features and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods. Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views,

MOSQIUITO SCREENS

tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will

virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc. The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 € 198,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242

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Friday, June 01, 2012 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking. The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front

porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale. Briefly comprising of: 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two

bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €70,000. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

RAG AND BONE MAN

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca. There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 532: 3 Bedroom Detached villa Located on

the edge of a small Spanish village with 3,800 sqm of landscaped gardens, Private Pool, Bargain €180,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, June 01, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

HOT UNDER THE DOLLAR Scots pretenders look ready to strike it rich

I ALWAYS remember the withering comment of Jack recalling Nicklaus's comment of 15-plus years ago. There’s a bunch of players slogging away on the European Nicklaus back in the mid-1990s when professional golf Tour who have made plenty of money but who are somereally began to swill in sponsors' money. times damned with the Nicklaus had a gripe about the fact that the PGA dreaded "journeyman" tag. Tour in America had a Scott Jamieson, a top whole bunch of playJack guy and a really good ers - the middleNicklaus golfer, was asked about rankers - who would "making the grade" to a scarcely be known by higher level of the game. the public, and had Jamieson, after only scarcely won a tournatwo years on the ment. Yet they were European Tour, has absolutely rolling in it. earned well in his career "It's too easy to so far, but the Holy Grail become a dollar millionfor him remains to aire out here now," said ascend to something the Golden Bear of the more than a little-known US Tour at the time. but wealthy golfer. "You don't really have to Another Scot, Stephen push yourself too hard Gallacher, from a golfing dynasty, is also supremely talented, these days to make a but having won only one event in 16 years on tour seemed a very comfortable living out of the game." Guys like Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer tended to look at scarce haul of honours. "It's not as if I'm not trying," Gallacher said when put on the golf through rose-tinted spectacles, back to an age in the late 1950s when golfers had to slog from tournament to tourna- spot about his lack of silverware. The one tournament he did win - the 2004 Dunhill Links ment without today's riches. This reflection tended not to tell Scott the whole truth. Jamieson But, nonetheless, there was something in it. When you look at the cast-list of Scottish professional golfers right discuss your short measFrom page 10 now, you can't help sounded a good idea so ures another time. Do you the next day I went out and remember that stranger bought a bucket. But where from yesterday?' Dave the barman shook would I get hold of some of his head. 'I don't know any GOLF pro, giving lessons to a young lady, reached those fish . . . what were strangers.' (Dave can be so around from behind to help her with her swing. Just they called? I'd forgotten. then, he looked down and realised his fly was open. Dave the barman eyed my flaming obtuse sometimes.) 'Yes you do,' I argued. Quickly zipping it up, he unfortunately caught her skirt in bucket with apprehension 'That stranger who wasn't a his zipper. Unable to get it loose, the two of them started when I returned to the pub. walking toward the club house to get a pair of pliers. 'You don't want me to fill that dentist. The guy who was going on about feet-nibbling Suddenly, a big black dog came out of the bushes and with beer, do you?' threw a bucket of water on them. 'No, Dave,' I replied. 'We'll sessions. What was the

TITTER ON THE TEE

Championship was a big one, Luke carrying a fat Donald cheque. But there is no doubt that he, like Jamieson and others, is striving hard not just to be rich but to be successful. Because they had the Sam Torrance, Sandy Lyle, Colin Montgomerie generation - and with Paul Lawrie making himself an Open champion in 1999 – the Scots pine for another lot to make the breakthrough. Lawrie, of course, is still going strong, while Glaswegian Martin Laird, still only 29, has a real chance of being something big in the USA. Incidentally, Laird won $627,000 (nearly £400,000) for finishing second in the Players Championship the other week. Enough to turn Nicklaus green with envy. The Golden Bear’s comment of years back had a slightly barbed edge. But you can see where he was coming from.

name of those fish he mentioned?' Dave thought for a moment. 'I think he said they were called piranhas.' I nodded. 'So where can I purchase piranhas around here?' Dave the barman scratched his head. 'You need a marine expert,' he said. 'The only person who comes near to fitting that description is Colin, who runs the sea-life establishment across the road.' I grabbed my bucket and headed over to Colin's place. 'I need your advice,' I said. 'Well, you'll have to be quick,' Colin said, looking at his watch. 'I'm opening the chippy in a few minutes.' 'What do you know about

piranhas?' I asked him. Colin shrugged. 'I know more about cod, plaice and haddock. But I'll tell you one thing. I would never have piranhas on my premises. 'The little beggars would eat all my chips -- and then eat all my customers! Those fish are MAN-EATERS!' My face must have turned more ashen than the white plastic bucket I was carting around. When I returned to the pub everyone started to hum A Whiter Shade of Pail (sorry, Pale). 'Blimey,' I commented to Dave the barman. 'I've just been told in graphic detail what razor-sharp teeth can do to a person.' 'Wow!' replied Dave. 'So why put up with the problem? Go see a dentist.'

Friday, June 01, 2012

ROLL OUT THE CARROLL

ANDY CARROLL is flavour of the month and England's injury problems are piling up before Euro 2012 has even kicked off. With Gareth Barry crocked that leaves just Phil Jones or Scott Parker to fill the holding midfield role. Jones is favoured more in a back four role and Parker was picked despite carrying an ankle an injury he was nursing after being substituted against Norway. So who will get the job in tomorrow's second warm up match against Belgium at Wembley? Here's the lineup I would like to see given a try: Jack Buckland, Phil Jagielka, John Terry, Gary Cahill, Leighton Baines, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Scott Parker, Steven Gerrard, Ashley Young, Andy Carroll and Jermain Defoe. I was impressed, nay stunned, by England's performance in the first half hour of the game against Norway. There was some great individual play, confident passing and a spirit of adventure with players prepared to go it alone and use individual skills rather than relying on the safe but boring methodical slow buildups we are used to. It soon petered out and we were left with the usual diet of huffing and puffing without much end product. Still it was a win and in his first game, new manager Roy Hodgson will be happy with that. Now the trick is to build on that and instil a new degree of confidence and assuredness in time for the big kick-off. They will need to be ready for they are taking on potentially the best team in their group first, namely France. They, like England, will be keen to bounce back after the embarrassments on and off the pitch in the 2010 World Cup tournament. On their

Roy’s England set to strike Euro warning

day, France are one of the strongest teams in the world and not so long ago backed that up with back to back European Championship and World Cup wins. I see Sweden as the banana skin for England and would have preferred to start with Ukraine then Sweden, leaving France till last - by which time Hodgson’s men would hopefully have secured enough points to progress to the knock out stages. That would have given them the opportunity to give it a real go against a top-quality team without the pressure of failure looming over them. As it is, they are in a win or bust situation in their opening game with only victory against France an option unless they are to struggle once again on the big stage. A defeat going into that crucial game against the Swedes would have disaster written all over it and the Harry Redknapp brigade would steam right in to make things worse with unbridled criticism and vitriol directed against Hodgson, the FA and the team. So let’s hope the opposite happens and we see another positive step taken Andy a g a i n s t Carroll...he’s Belgium on flavour of the road to a the month successful tournament. By successful I would take a place in the semi-finals and hopefully final as an end result. To win it would be wonderful but at the moment that can only be dreamland. But as any manager and player knows, success

Glen’s velvet touch SAN Javier Golf Society’s individual Stableford at Hacienda Riqueime saw Glen Macrae win the top Division for the first time with 33 points with Bob Gallard second on 32. On superb greens which were like velvet, Barry Butterworth made a welcome return to the top in Division 2 with 35 points, the best score of the day, and George Stein took second on 33 - a bad last hole costing him top spot.

Division 3 was an all ladies affair with the men left in their wake. Winner was Joan Williams on 31 points with Lyn Gallard isecond on 30. Mare of the day went to Dave Archer who scored seven points on the first two holes and then managed just nine more over the following 16. Next society game is at Mar Menor Golf on Monday (June 4). -MICK HARDY

breeds success. Just look at Roberto di Matteo and Chelsea. A month or so before the end of last season they were in disarray with bickering at the training ground and talk of mass departures on the cards. Then manager Andre Villas-Boas did go and we have since learnt that Didier Drogba is to leave for pastures new. But Di Matteo instantly pulled things together and Chelsea ended up with two trophies, culminating in that dramatic penalty shoot-out win against Bayern Munich in the European Champions League final. An added bonus was that Fernando Torres steadily returned to the form that helped Spain to European and World dominance. Whether England can emulate that the next few weeks will tell. But it just goes to show that miracles can happen! EURO 2012 FIXTURES: Group D - France v England (June 11, 17.00), Sweden v England (June 15, 19.45), England v Ukraine (June 19, 19,45). Group C – Republic of Ireland v Croatia (June 10, 19.45), Spain v Rep of Ireland (June 14, 19.45), June 18: Italy v Rep of Ireland (19.45).

Scott Parker

Orihuela in Sevens heaven THE final round of the Alicante Sevens rugby tournament in Elche saw Orihuela’s senior side crowned as 2012 champions. They played against La Vila for the third week in a row – and again beat them. Another victory followed against Elche. Orihuela also recorded victories against AKRA and Alicante University – completing a clean sweep for the second weekend in a row. The U19s also had a very good week-

end, going one better than the previous one by beating La Vila, as well as AKRA and Alicante University. But they ended the 2012 tournament as runners-up to Elche, who also beat them on the day. For your diary: June 9 - Murcia Sevens with 10 teams taking part (10am start). June 30 – Alan Davies Memorial Sevens. July 9-13 and 16-20 - Centurion Rugby Summer School (Formentera del Segura). For more information contact Garry on 692 767 242.

THE FEAR FACTOR Friday, June 01, 2012

Ignore the scaremongers â&#x20AC;&#x201C; violence will be stamped on THE THREAT of racist violence disrupting the European Football Championships is being wildly exaggerated. How many times have we seen these documentaries highlighting football violence in all shapes and forms? I have been watching and attending football matches for 48 years now and at times have got caught up in such incidents. Normally I would stand at the front of the old Kippax stand at Manchester City's old Maine Road ground and watch the bricks and blood flow throughout the derby matches. On one infamous occasion I and a lot of other Manchester United fans were chased from Elland Road to the railway station in Leeds city centre, at one point passing through a demolition site with bricks lying around just waiting to be picked up and lobbed at us. Thankfully, we made it back to the station before the

STEVE BOTT reports

Leeds fans caught up with us. A while the police made us sweat by refusing to open the station doors for a few painful minutes, it all ended without any major mayhem. Following the biggest club in the world did have its problems in that department. I once saw a pub wrecked in minutes, all because one idiot decided to throw his pint glass at the back of the bar. My friends and I went for a short walk while the mayhem ensued and when we got back, stood there amidst all the debris was one slightly older fan we had befriended calmly sipping his pint while the police dogs bayed outside! What I am trying to say is that this sort of thing can happen anywhere and at any time. The police can't be everywhere at once but as in all such tournaments, the Olympics, World Cups and whatever, the authorities will have things in place to try to ensure there is no embarrassment and will clampdown immediately, strongly and swiftly on any potential flare-ups. The real threat is from any organised terrorist group and if that happens it will have been planned meticu-

lously for years. But even this will have been catered for as much as you possibly can with no less than a small army ready to tackle anything - certainly at the Olympics and hopefully in Poland and the Ukraine. Even if trouble and racism does flare in the games involving the host nations, I expect it to be sporadic and certainly not allowed to develop inside the stadiums with the world watching. It will be in the city streets and bars as usual where trouble may well occur, but name me one major tournament that has not had its share of that. Who can forget how the Chinese dealt with things before the Olympics there. The vision of that journalist being transported away in a police van the moment he arrived on Chinese soil will live with me forever. Hopefully that will serve as a warning to anyone planning to disrupt things in the UK, Poland or the Ukraine. Anyway if Joey Barton were to be appointed as security co-ordinator, the problems would be solved. There can be few more qualified to deal with such problems given the amount of violence and trouble he has been involved in!