The Courier Week 74

Edition 74

www.thecourier.es

Friday, July 20, 2012

Embassy warns Brits as hospital cases hit new high Moncayo

THE POUND STRETCHER

THE British Embassy yesterday warned UK holidaymakers visiting Spain this summer: “If you have no travel insurance, it’s your own funeral’’.

If you’ve no travel insurance, welcome to the Costa packet

The reminder came as new Foreign Office figures revealed that more than 1,100 Brits ended up in Spanish hospitals last year.

The number is equivalent to 20 hospitalisations every week, and represents nearly one third of the total number of cases around the world.

The figures come from the annual British Behaviour Abroad report for the period 1 April 2011 - 31 March 2012.

Alicante is one of only two regions that shows a DROP in hospital admissions between 2011 and 2012, the other being Barcelona.

But, perhaps predictably, accidents, balcony incidents the number of reported and heart attacks Meanwhile Malaga has cases has soared in the Balearics and Malaga. Over seen a 45% increase over the two years since 2009/10, the last year alone.

Jeremy Browne, Minister Mallorca has seen a 132% increase in hospitalisations, for Consular Services, said: and Ibiza a 40% rise. Many “Whilst the prospect of endof these cases involve ing up in a foreign hospital teenage holidaymakers. may be the last thing on your Common causes are road mind as you head overseas

for a summer break, sometimes things do go wrong on holiday and many people deeply regret not taking out comprehensive travel insurance.

“We also witness many cases where people have invalidated their policy – perhaps by not declaring a preexisting medical condition or

not checking their policy covers a particular activity, such as hiring a moped.

“Unfortunately they are then surprised that the Foreign Office cannot pay for their bills and flight home.

“I urge anyone heading overseas this summer to research their destination, take out comprehensive trav-

el insurance, and carefully check the small print of their policy.”

New research by the Foreign Office reveals that nearly half (48%) of all Brits fail to realise that without travel insurance they will have to pay their own medical bills if injured or taken ill abroad.

An emergency can be extremely expensive - medical treatment can cost thousands of pounds, whilst medical repatriation to the UK can cost even more.

Consular staff in Spain have witnessed distressing cases involving families having to raise vast sums of money to pay hospital and repatriation bills. The research also reveals that nearly four out of five (78%) people would lack the ready cash to pay

Turn to Page 3

market in midweek trading shock

THE future of Guardamar’s Moncayo Market has been thrown into doubt following the sudden suspension of its midweek operation.

The three day-a-week market adjacent to the Procomobil furniture store will be shut today (Friday), apparently on the instructions of the local authority - and is also to halt its Tuesday operation immediately.

While trading has been slow in midweek, the Saturday market continues to thrive. But traders who pay a monthly fee for three-days-a-week business are predictably angry at being deprived of their midweek sales.

One English trader told The Courier: “I’m confused. Here we are, expats in Spain trying to earn a living in a time of financial crisis and they won’t let you do it. It seems ludicrous to me. They should be encouraging us, not shutting us down.’’

Regular traders will meet with the market management over the weekend to discuss the situation - and to discuss how they can make the Saturday operation even more vibrant.

Whilst the reasons for council intervention are shrouded in mystery, it is rumoured the action follows the rejection of a request by the Lemon Tree Sunday Market to trade in midweek.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

You lick gorgeous. You’ve made a paw man very happy TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003

SIGN OF THE TIMES Spanish student decapitated in Bournemouth

Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Affiliations The Orihuela PP-CLARO Agreement is signed by CLARO president Bob Houliston, Popular Party provincial president Miguel Ortiz and Mónica Lorente, president of Orihuela PP

Back to majority rule...

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

THE agreement between Orihuela’s CLARO and Popular Party (PP) was signed last week by their respective leaders Bob Houliston and Monica Lorente.

The two factions hailed the agreement as the imminent birth of a “new, stable and coherent government”.

In a statement issued after the signing, CLARO said: “We are able to provide the government which Orihuela needs. We are able to restore democracy to Orihuela where the majority governs and the minority can no longer prevent the majority from governing.”

Friday Sunny High 30° Low 20° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 28° Low 21° Chance of rain 60%

Tuesday Sunny High 28° Low 21° Chance of rain 0%

A 23-YEAR-OLD Spanish student was decapitated in a horrifying attack in Bournemouth on Tuesday.

Sergio Retamar Marquez, from the southern town of Coin, was hacked to death at his two-bedroom flat above a wine bar in the Dorset seaside town.

The youngster moved to Britain less than a year ago to learn English and work as a waiter.

He is believed to have started in a new job at a hotel shortly before his death after returning briefly to his home town near Malaga to recover from a road accident and do a cookery course.

An uncle of the dead man has flown to Britain to seek more information and begin the process of repatriating the body. Another relative said: “We have been told very little about what’s happened. It’s destroyed us, especially his mum who he was very close to.’’

Police have arrested a 29-year-old Bournemouth man in connection with the killing. He remains in custody.

Mr Marquez's body was found after armed police swooped on the flat which is above a wine bar at 5pm on Tuesday. Neighbours reported hearing screaming before the grim discovery.

Saturday Sunny High 29° Low 21° Chance of rain 0% Wednesday Sunny High 29° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 28° Lo 21° Chance of rain 0% Thursday Sunny High 28° Lo 24° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, July 20, 2012

From Page One £10,000 to cover the hospital bills of an uninsured loved one abroad.

Visitors to Spain, and British residents who may be hosting them, should remember three key things: l Buy comprehensive travel insurance – avoid a life-changing bill l Read the small print – don’t invalidate your policy by mistake l Get an EHIC card – it’s a ‘holiday essential’ for any state medical

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The Costa packet treatment you might need while visiting, but it doesn’t cover everything.

A British Embassy spokesperson said: “An EHIC is free and simple to obtain. Getting one could save you a lot of grief.

“If you don’t have one, it could make a tricky situation even harder.

“Then buy travel insur-

ance and for the cost of a meal in a restaurant you should be fully covered against expensive health-related bills and other risks. It’s not worth it to be without.”

The total number of consular assistance cases in Spain last year rose more than 8% to 5,405 cases.

These included 1,105 hospitalisations (up 8%),

1,909 arrests (up 9%) and 40 cases of rape or sexual assault (down 22%).

Some 13.6 million Britons visited Spain last year and an estimated 800,000 Britons are resident here.

For details on how the Foreign Office can help if you get into trouble abroad, visit www.fco. gov.uk/travel

RUMOURS? AIR WE GO AGAIN!

By SALLY BENGTSSON CONTINUING delays in the opening of Murcia’s new airport at Corvera have sent the rumour mill into orbit.

One of the most bizarre – but eminently feasible - suggestions flying around bars and Internet forums is that Ryanair are planning to expand their San Javier base to make it the hub of their operation in this region.

Ongoing problems with AENA regarding the Irish budget airline’s Alicante operation are always likely to lead to further confrontation. But a source at the Región de Murcia International Airport told The Courier this week: “I imagine the ‘San Javier as a Ryanair hub’ rumour is not true for a number of important reasons - the first being operational.

“For an operational base, Ryanair need the first wave of aircraft to take off from the airport between 6 and 7am. MJV is closed at this time.

“The second wave of flights would be mid-morning, when MJV still has significant restrictions on commercial aircraft movements, and the last wave of flights would need to land in MJV between 23 and 24h, when it is also closed due to a ban on night-time flights because of its location in a densely populated urban area.

“While the opening of the second runway has allowed some additional commercial activity in the morning, there are still important restrictions and military activity will always have priority. The second reason is commercial. Ryanair generally seeks support from local authorities to open a base and I am certain that, having promoted and defended the building of the new airport, the regional government of Murcia would not support the airline to open a base at MJV. The source also clarified the position in relation to several other popular rumours related to the new airport.

Is it true that Región de Murcia International Airport does not have permission to use the air space above it?

“This is not true,’’ insisted our informant. “There was an initial proposal of flight paths for the new airport, which were tested and found unacceptable from an airline perspective, so a second proposal has been drawn up and is pending approval by the Joint Committee of the Ministries of Defence and Public Works.

An agreement with AENA for the closure of San Javier?

“Last November a protocol was signed between the regional government of Murcia and the national socialist government for the closure of MJV to civilian traffic and the concentration of commercial activity at the new airport.

However, this was subject to AENA, as the operator of MJV, and ourselves, Sociedad Concesionaria Aeropuerto de Murcia, as the operator of this airport, reaching an agreement for the transfer of operations and personnel, and compensation to AENA for investment made in MJV that has not been amortised. To date, no such agreement has been reached.

Have tickets been sold for planes flying in and out?

“As I’m sure you can appreciate, until the two previous issues mentioned have been resolved, no opening date for the airport can be set, and until an opening date has been set no tickets can be put on sale to fly to this airport, as this would cause serious inconvenience for airlines and their passengers.’’

A Welsh rare bit of special Costa music THE acclaimed Orihuela Costa Male Voice Choir, under their conductor Nigel Hopkins, are playing host to the visiting Welsh ladies' choir, Cor Merched Persain, at La Zenia church on Sunday July 29.

The 8.30pm concert will include a varied mixture of music , and include many Welsh favourites plus popular songs specially arranged by Nigel Hopkins.

Tickets are 5€ each and are available from CALLNET Internet Cafe, behind Consum next to Paddy's Point - Tel: 966 761 171, or on the door.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Friday, July 20, 2012

Algorfa blaze guts local beauty spot

A SPECTACULAR fire devastated one of the Vega Baja’s few remaining natural beauty spots on Wednesday.

The rapid combustion of lots of farm pruning raised a column of smoke around Algorfa which was visible from Torrevieja and alarmed residents of nearby housing developments.

Although the police were not immediately aware of the causes of the blaze, there was conjecture that it could have been started by the burning of farm waste.

Amid fears of the fire spreading to the pine forests next to Montemar castle, two seaplanes collaborated in the fire dousing by filling their water tanks in nearby reservoirs.

.A helicopter strengthened the force an hour after the inferno started.

The fire started mysteriously at 12.45pm at Los Garroferos finca and spread to waste land, dry oranges and pines. It seriously damaged the windows and doors of a house but there was no one inside.

A car was also burned in the fire and the smoke could be seen from the AP7. In addition to the firefighters,Guardia Civil and Local Policia of Rojales and Algorfa participated in the extinction of the fire.

This rustic area is located between the municipalities of Algorfa, Rojales and Benijófar. At about 2pm, local police chief Pedro Bertomeu, considered the fire extinguished.

IN THE first case of its kind in Spain, a woman who had her ovaries removed due to cancer has given birth to a baby boy.

“It is an exceptional case,” said Pedro Barri, the president of the non-profit Dexeus Foundation in Barcelona, which specialises in women’s healthcare.

Vanesa Pastor was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2009 and told that her infected left ovary would have to be removed — and her right and uterus as a precautionary measure — which would prevent her ever having children.

She sought a second opinion at the Dexeus Foundation, which suggested extracting oocytes and vitrifying them without the need to remove the uterus as the neoplasm was at an early stage.

Once Pastor had recovered from her illness and the right ovary had been checked for malignant cells, a year after it had been removed, the oocytes were unfrozen and used in a process of assisted reproduction.

The result of the process was Mario, who was born on June 11.

“I’m very happy, above all I wanted to be a mother and I have become one,” Pastor said.

Before this ground breaking procedure a similar case unfolded in 2009, when a patient with breast cancer had an implant of ovarian tissue.

The same process of oocyte freezing was used, but after the patient had recovered from cancer, not before.

Vanesa — the cancer mum with no ovaries

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Friday, July 20, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

I AM the President of the Vista Azul 2 Urbanisation mentioned in the letter by G. Davis in last week’s newspaper and although I do not think our community’s business should be debated in the press I feel obliged to respond to this scurrilous and inaccurate letter written by this troublesome and disgruntled resident who bears a personal grudge against me as President.

This is not the first time Mr. Davis has resorted to the press to criticise and slander me, something he does at every opportunity in his ongoing hate campaign. He campaigns against every decision I make as President as a matter of course.

I am sure many other Presidents will have similar people in their urbanisations to deal with and can identify with this kind of problem. For the sake of accuracy, however, I

Pool lifeguards: The facts

would like your readers to know that under Valencian Law, only community swimming pools of 200m2 surface area or over require a lifeguard in attendance. As our community pool has a surface area of 164m2 we do not require one, like most Urbanisations in Orihuela Costa. This saves €4,000 each year from our community funds.

The decision not to employ one for our Urbanisation this year was taken after consultation with our lawyer to establish our legal status on the issue and was not done arbitrarily. It is not Urbanisations who have the responsibility of looking after children who use our pools that is down to the par-

ents and that is where the responsibility should always lie. All community pools will state in their rules that no child under the age of 11 should be left unattended at a community pool and that again is the responsibility of the parents.

Five years ago a lifeguard was employed by our Urb. for July and August working eight hours per day, even though our pool is open for 12 hours each day. This decision was not taken 12 years ago as Mr. Davis stated for effect.

Vista Azul 2 Urbanisation is solvent, well run, well maintained with a beautiful garden and pool and has a majority of good resi-

dents who pay their fees on time. It is a good place to live and invest in. I as President make sure we work within the laws of Spain pertaining to Urbanisations and this is a paramount concern for me. Nothing is done illegally.

People like Mr. Davis are just part of a tiny minority whose opinions do not have a majority of support within our Urb. That is why he resorts to scurrilous letters to the press maligning me in the hope that they will be printed without the newspaper checking the facts first.

A N MCPHAIL President - Vista Azul 2

A FINE MESS! I was caught in Barca traffic scam, too

SO Donna Gee has fallen for the Barcelona scam (Issue 73) - join the club!

Last September we, too, received a letter from our car insurers, Linea Directa, that we had been the cause of an accident in the Province of Barcelona. I think it was the last week in August.

We had just returned a few days earlier from the UK and, like Donna, we had never driven there. In fact, we have never gone beyond Denia and on the day of the claim, we were in Quesada with friends.

We filed a disclamer with Linea Directa and never heard any more!

The registration number of the car we were supposed to have hit indicated it was a very old car!

But Linea were great.

Take care. We enjoy your column.

TED, Quesada Thanks for your support, Ted, but the only similarity between the two situations is that both ‘offences’ allegedly occurred in Barcelona. For the record, I am still waiting for a reply to my email to the Catalan traffic people, whose website has no telephone contact number and is all in the Catalan language. So my Spanish teacher Jose phoned around, got their number and explained that the car caught speeding by an automatic camera was not mine. They promptly scrapped the ticket (or said they were doing so). But I have every confidence they’ll be back - DONNA

The way to winter fuel allowance

q

HAH needs your help q

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THE LETTERS ON THIS PAGE ARE ENTIRELY THE OPINIONS OF THE WRITER

THIS is an urgent plea from the HAH team. At the moment, we are helping several families, most of them serious cases, and our resources are stretched to the limit. So many of our volunteers are away at the moment, and, until we can get these clients back on their feet, we will be struggling to take on new clients.

Can you spare a couple of hours a week? Help is needed urgently to assist clients in their own homes with a variety of tasks. Could you maybe help a neighbour who is struggling to cope, just by being a good neighbour?

We, of course, will endeavour to help wherI HAVE to say that I entirely agree with Donna Gee about the READING your story headed ever possible, but without the resources, this miserable Murrays - but you really must check your info, “Pay Up Again” in your July 13 is becoming increasingly difficult.

In the first Donna! issue, I am dismayed at your Ivan Lendl never won at Wimbledon but did win many other instance, please ask family or friends to help, reporting. in an emergency ring 112, or consult your GP. majors, also the Countess of Wessex is the wife of Prince These increases, according to If you can offer any care/practical help, Edward and Kate Middleton, who was with her sister Pippa, is Ryanair, range from €0.42 to just please contact Lesley on 968 134 978, email in fact the Duchess of Cambridge, But keep up the good work. helpathomespain@gmail.com. You don’t under €2.00 for all airports they MARTIN BUTLER, La Escura, San Fulgencio. need any qualifications, although if you do fly from in Spain with the excepJUST to let Donna know that Pippa is the sister of the Duchess have care experience this would be an advan- tion of Madrid and Barcelona.

I am absolutely certain that of Cambridge not the Countess of Wessex. JOYCE BOSISTO tage.

SORRY about the errors folks, but I’m lost when it The most important help to us and our nobody can complain about an comes to Wimbledon. It was much more fun in my clients is a genuine desire to spare a little additional £1.50 per person to fly youth when they had players like Tennis Law and Tennis time helping those who are finding it difficult back to the UK from our 'local airTHE HAH TEAM ports' as this will not break anyCompton. Or were they golfers?

DONNA to cope. Thank you.

Net your facts right!

q

IN REPLY to the letter from Elaine Saunders in last Friday´s Courier, for those of us who are now able to claim the winter fuel allowance, there are two ways of applying.

1. Make a phone call to the International Pensions Centre. They will offer to send you the claim form which will be available from August.

2. From August, if you have access to the Internet, go to www. gov.uk select Winter Fuel Allowance, select Winter Fuel Payment, select Not Received Payment Before.

From there you will be able to download the claim form. I hope this helps.

MARJORY NORRIS, El Raso

The price ain’t right

one’s bank.

What would have been better reporting would be the previous claim that Alicante airport was increasing its charges by a massive €0.29 per passenger yet Ryanair (your editor’s favourite airline!) have said they are adding €1.92 per person.

What actually is the REAL increase at Alicante and in fact all other airports in Spain? I await your report.

SL, Santiago de Ribera

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Friday, July 20, 2012

I’VE become a sentimental old biddy as I head towards my dotage – but my ‘miracle’ grandson’s battle for survival even reduced grown men to tears.

I’ve not written about little Buddy for some time now but so many people have asked me for an update on the OneKilo Kid that another bout of nepotism is well overdue.

It’s now seven months since Buddy John Harry Holmes was delivered by emergency Caesarean 12 weeks ahead of schedule.

He had no heartbeat, and

The making of a buddy for life

weighed just over two pounds. And for the first few days, no one knew if he would survive.

When his mother, my daughter Hayley found she was expecting, everyone assumed all Lifesaver: would go well.

Richard OK, she was 41 meets his and it was 12 special Buddy years since her second daughter, Daisy, was born.

But all progressed normally right up to the 28th week. Then, 197 days into Hayley’s third pregnancy, came a remarkable – and frightening – development trig-

gered by the smallest hint that something was wrong.

The embryo child all but stopped booting hell out of her body from the inside.

She sensed that something was amiss, and although her midwife was not unduly concerned, the worried couple wanted to be sure. A surreal scenario followed, with Hayley and Steve acting purely on intuition and booking a private consultation with sonographer Richard Warriner.

Richard sent them immediately to hospital for an urgent scan, which revealed that the waters around the baby had all but dried up.

In this sea of nothingness, the tot was in imminent dan-

ger of suffocating – and an urgent Caesarean section saw him plucked, lifeless, from Hayley’s body with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck.

He had no heartbeat and was not breathing. For fully three minutes, doctors and nurses united in a battle to give life to the tiny foetus.

For Hayley and Steve, those three minutes translated into a lifetime of lifelessness.

As the seconds ticked away, they named the baby Buddy, desperate that he should have a proper identity, even if he was never to draw breath.

Then, his tiny body invaded by a host of canulas, tubes and ventilators, a

Turn to Page 10

Buddy has lots to smile about

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Friday, July 20, 2012

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Boozers and losers: Pub outings are such a trial SO there we were, gathered around the bar as we prepared to make plans for our first-ever pub outing.

'I call this meeting of the alehouse discussion group to order,' I announced, pounding the counter top with the plastic hammer I'd pinched from my little grandson's Bob the Builder kit.

The pub populace paid not a blind bit of attention to my utterance and continued to chatter away. Indeed, somebody called out: 'Why is that Dave Silver talking like a snooty toastmaster?'

Raising my voice above the hubbub, I said: 'I thought for once in our lives we could behave like grown-ups. But that's obviously not going to happen. So I'm going home.'

I slid off my stool, stamped my foot in disgruntlement and stormed out of the pub.

'He could at least have left us the plastic hammer,' somebody grumbled.

Dave the barman tapped on the bar with a fingernail.

There was instant hush and all eyes looked to him.

'Fellas,' said Dave. 'I think we owe our David an apology.

He is the one who came up with the idea of a pub outing and I believe it is only fair that we let him chair this planning meeting.

'I thus propose that we phone him immediately and invite him to return. Will somebody please second that?'

There was no response apart from someone calling out: 'Do we really have to have him back? He gets on my nerves.'

'I'll second that!' the others chorused.

'Sulk over,' I announced, bursting through the door. 'I was lurking in the shadows waiting for the invitation that I knew would come . . . er, eventually.'

'Blooming heck, he thinks he's Julius Caesar or General de Gaulle,' came another voice.

I banged on the bar top with the plastic hammer. 'We are now back in session.'

'Point of order!' called out Daft Barry. 'I've heard of Julius Caesar but I'm not sure about General de Gaulle. Didn't he play soccer for France and save lots of penalties?'

'I think that topic should come under Any Other Business,' I said. 'Now let us press on with matters relating to the pub outing.

'As well as conducting this momentous meeting,' I continued, 'I shall be recording the minutes in this Thomas the Tank Engine notebook I have acquired from my grandson.

'I propose that we set off at 8.30am on the first Saturday in August. Which leaves us with only one minor detail to settle.

Where are we going to?'

Everyone looked tipsily at everyone else for guidance but somehow managed to summon up the energy and muscle co-ordination to shrug their own shoulders.

'Let me help you through your alcoholic fug,' I said. 'I

watched that fantastic film 12 Angry Men again last night, about the jury in a murder trial. It stars that excellent actor Henry Fonda and the fabulous Lee J. Cobb's also in it . . .'

'Shurrup!' somebody called out constructively.

'I'm just getting to my point now,' I said. 'In that movie the jury members write down their ‘Guilty’ or ‘Not Guilty’ votes in a secret ballot. I propose you all record your outing destination preference and return your folded pieces of paper to me.'

'Point of order!' cried Daft Barry. 'I've

heard of Henry Fonda but I'm not sure about Lee Jacobs.

Didn't he invent cream crackers?'

'Another point of order,' mumbled Ol' Red Eyes, who had half-roused himself from a deep sleep. 'Why is this trivial affair being made into such a drama? Why a secret ballot?

Surely anonymity is not necessary when all that we're planning is a day out together.'

'We're doing it this way because it was MY idea,' I replied.

'It's so gratifying to see democracy in action,' sighed Ol' Red Eyes before he nodded off again.

It was Dave the barman's turn to thrust a spanner into my works. 'It's all very well writing down our pub outing preferences but I don't keep any paper on the premises. I suppose we can always use beer mats but I don't think there'd be much space to write in.'

Ol' Red Eyes came semi-awake and pointed a gnarled finger in my direction. 'You'll just have to tear out some blank pages from your Thomas the Tank Engine notebook.'

'No way!' I retorted. 'I told you I need the notebook to record the minutes.'

'Oh, for goodness sake,' commented a stranger in our midst. 'I've never heard such goings-on. I'm a passing stationery salesman. Here, take this packet of paper and get this flaming meeting over with, or even started, before I die of thirst.'

'Point of order before I take that gentleman's order!' interrupted Dave the barman. 'We have no pens, pencils or ancient quills in this hostelry. It's my rule that no sharp instruments be brought into my establishment in case of accidental -- or otherwise -- stabbings.'

'No problem,' I said. I reached into my jacket pocket and produced a box of SpongeBob SquarePants crayons I had pilfered from my grandson. 'Right,' I said, handing out the paper and crayons. 'Let's vote on where we want to go.'

And just to make the proceedings even more interesting I produced a Postman Pat roadmap and some Mickey Mouse stickers I had appropriated from my grandson in order to chart the destination choices of my fellow pub outing travellers.

Ten minutes later I surveyed the crumpled pile of litter which lay before me. I unfolded the first voting slip.

'This has got to be Daft Barry's,' I said (so much for the secret ballot).

'Well, thank you for your input, my friend, but I don't think the minibus driver will take us all the way to the Costa Blanca for just a couple of hours. And, incidentally, nobody ever spells Alicante that way.'

I opened the second bit of paper. It read: 'I'm not going anywhere if Daft Barry comes with us.'

I perused the third offering. Some joker had simply scrawled the word 'Guilty.'

Having seen the way things were going -- which was literally nowhere -- I adjourned the meeting, packed away the plastic hammer, notebook, crayons, roadmap and stickers and trudged home.

Mrs S didn't look best pleased. 'You've missed a visit from your grandson,' she said.

'But he didn't stay long because you didn't leave him anything to play with.'

A BUDDY FOR LIFE From Page 7 miracle occurred. The mite’s heart began to beat.

Buddy was alive…if not kicking.

All 992 grammes of him (that’s a tad under 2lb 2oz). For 24 hours, his

under-developed lungs were helped by a ventilator. Then another miracle; he started breathing by himself.

Amazingly, doctors told the relieved parents that had Hayley not gone to Richard, the baby would have died inside her within two

hours. Last week, seven months after that fateful day and armed with a bottle of the finest malt whisky and a box of expensive chocolates, Hayley and Steve took Buddy to meet the man who saved his life.

Richard held the bubbly 18lb bundle of happiness in his arms and Steve told him: ‘If you ever doubt the value of the work you do, just remember our Buddy. He’s the living proof.’’

At that moment, through the inevitable flood of tears , a pact was sealed.

Richard became a family Buddy for life.

A Budding artist?

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Friday, July 20, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSON 29 LAST week we learnt when to use por; this week we are learning when we use para. I asked last week if you could think of any times when para would be used, now is the time to check your examples.

Para has relatively few uses, these are: To indicate destination – El hombre salió para Madrid (The man left for Madrid). To show the use or purpose of a thing – El vaso es para agua (The glass is for water). To mean ‘in order to’ or ‘for the purpose of’ - Para hacer una paella, primero dore las carnes (To make a paella, first sauté the meats). To indicate a recipient – Este regalo es para ti (This present is for you). To express a deadline or specific time – Necesito el vestido para el lunes (I need the dress by Monday). To express a contrast from what is expected – Para un niño lee muy bien (For a child he reads very well). Use estar para to express an action that will soon be completed – El tren está para salir (The train is about to leave).

It is quite important to learn to use these two prepositions correctly, because if you inadvertently substitute one for the other, you might end up saying something altogether different from what you had intended. Study the two examples: Juan compró el regalo para María. Juan bought the gift for Maria - he bought it to give to her.

Juan compró el regalo por María. Juan bought the gift for Maria - he bought it on her behalf.

Por and para can also be used in questions. ¿Por qué? means Why? (for what reason), while ¿Para qué? means Why? (for what purpose). ¿Por qué estudias español? - for what reason do you study Spanish? Possible answer: Porque es un requisito (because it´s required). ¿Para qué estudias español? - for what purpose do you study Spanish? Possible answer: Para ser profesor de

español (in order to be a Spanish teacher).

I am now going to cover contractions. Not the sort when one goes into labour but the contractions that are used in Spanish; that is when two words are put together (contracted) and made into one.

The only contractions in Spanish are de + el, which becomes del, and a + el, which becomes al. These are used to mean of the / from the - del and to the / at the - al.

These are the only times you will use contractions. Here are some examples: Voy al supermercado – I am going to the supermarket; La Casa Blanca es la casa del presidente – The White House is the president’s house; Te veré al supermercado – I’ll see you at the supermarket.

Remember the difference between el = the and él (with the accent) = he.

Note: Es la casa de él = It is his house (literally it is the

house of he). You only contract de + el, do not contract de + él.

When the noun is feminine we use la, therefore there is no contraction: Es la casa de la mujer – It’s the woman’s house (literally, it’s the house of the woman); Voy a la tienda – I am going to the shop.

This is another reason it is important to remember the gender of nouns, and to practise the gender when you practise the noun. For example, don’t just remember tienda learn la tienda. Don’t just remember silla, learn la silla.

Don’t just remember libro learn el libro.

So to refresh...Es la casa de la mujer – It’s the house of the woman (It’s the woman’s house). Es la casa del hombre - It’s the house of the man (It’s the man’s house). Es la casa de Juan - It’s the house of Juan (It’s Juan’s house). Es la casa de él – It’s the house of him (It’s his house).

I hope you are using para and por whenever you get the chance and remembering when to use which one.

Next week, after a request from one of my loyal readers, Joyce, I am going to explain where to put the word ´it´ in sentences, which will help with your sentence building.

Firstly though, you’ve got away without homework for a few weeks so here is some to keep you thinking.

It covers the work from various weeks, just to keep you on the ball.

Translate the following sentences into Spanish: I am from England. Do you have a car? London is in England. It’s cold. I have to go to the shop. Are you eating at the restaurant? There are a lot of books in the library (lot of = muchos/as). I have to go to the supermarket. There are a lot of dogs. I am going to the fiesta for the first time. Thank you for the help. I don’t speak a lot of Spanish. I am learning Spanish. There are a lot of people in my family.

Have a great week, until next time. Tengas una buena semana, hasta la próxima.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

The selfish breed HUMANS CAN TAKE LESSON FROM DOGS

I WROTE last week about Nelly, my new puppy who died, leaving behind four sisters and a brother who desperately need homes.

I did not receive one reply - not even a mere enquiry.

I also sent the request out to 250 contacts and on to my Facebook page. And still nothing.

To try to help I have decided to have one of Nelly’s sisters and a good friend of mine has offered to have another. I personally cannot believe this lack of compassion and empathy in human beings and this is one of the reasons why I prefer to be in the company of dogs, rather than humans.

Dogs think about the pack and not just themselves, but most humans think about themselves only.

When one of my dogs is sick, or in pain, the rest of the pack will always show their concern by staying close to the sick dog.

Human understanding of dogs is in my opinion at such an all time low.

A friend of a friend asked me last week, what breed the puppies were. I mentioned that the mother is a very gentle German Shepherd. When she heard that, she said her house was not big enough as she already has a dog.

Her house not big enough? What does she think the puppy will be doing each night - breakdancing?

If you give a dog enough exercise and bring rules into the relationship, along with giving affection at the right times, you

because so much negativity has been passed on to them from the human owner.

Dogs only experience negativity if they live with a negative person. They would never experience this negative emotion if they were left to their own devices. I always explain to clients that if they just have one dog, that dog would love nothing more than to live with another member of his own species.

People always say to me that their dog will get jealous if they bring another one into the house. Not true!

Jealousy is an emotion that is reserved for humans only, as it is a negative emotion.

How I wish humans would stop thinking that their dogs think like them. They don’t, they are dogs and have a completely different psychological set up to ours.

Trying to get humans to realise that is totally exhausting. Some will never realise it, because they simply don’t want to.

So if you have one dog and that dog is well behaved, it would be a good idea to rescue another.

Then at least your current dog has another member of the same species to live with.

Rescuing dogs is a tough, tough job. Very few people want to help any more but thankfully there are still a few dedicated and committed people out there. People like Anne and Les Wager, who have done a remarkable job in helping the puppies that I wrote about last week.

Anne and Les are full of empathy and compassion and the world would be a better place if there were more like them, people willing to put themselves out and help abandoned puppies and dogs.

Someone asked me a few weeks ago, “What is the most difficult part of your job?” The answer was simple.

“Humans”. I responded. “Selfish humans.’’

Mucky pup:One of Nelly’s sisters before being cleaned up

end up with a very calm, laidback dog. I get sick of people always asking me stupid questions when I am out on a walk with my five dogs like, “Don’t they fight?” Along with, “How do you have room for them all?”

My dogs go home and eat, then sleep, simply because their needs have been met on a daily basis. It’s that simple, but most humans just don’t understand this.

The question that makes me laugh is the regular one of, “Don’t they fight?”

Fight? Dogs are peaceful animals that will always follow calm. Fighting is something humans do best and always have done, so why people automatically think that five dogs will fight if they live together, shows huge levels of ignorance towards dogs.

Dogs that do fight when they live together are doing this

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? LEWIS is a beautiful threeyear-old male. He’s been castrated and is very friendly. He loves people and other cats.

Lewis suffers a bad reaction to mosquito bites and needs to spend time in doors. The K9 Club 633 936 501, k9clubin fo@gmail.com, www.k9club.es Lewis

LOTTE is about xx14 weeks old and looking for her forever home. She is good with other dogs and cats and will be small to medium when fully grown.

Call 966 725 975. ZARA is about a year old and has lived on her own in the campo for months.

She has Leishmania but is recovering and is friendly, although a bit timid to start. She is a tiny little thing. Call 659 274

PAIGE is one of a litter of six small breed puppies abandoned in the campo at five weeks old. She is vaccinated and chipped. BOWIE, a sixyear-old male Chihuahua crossbreed was found wandering in the Orihuela Costa area. He is vaccinated, micro chipped and castrated.

If you are interested in Bowie

Lotte

Zara

Paige

573. Zara, Lotte and more animals in need are featured on www. petsinspain.com Email info@ petsinspain.info

either of these dogs call the SAT kennels on 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalres cue.com You can also visit the website www.satanimal rescue.com for more information about the many other adult dogs and puppies currently in SAT’s care.

Friday, July 20, 2012

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FRANCISCO VALENCIA, LÍNEA DIRECTA’S CORPORATE GOVERNANCE DIRECTOR

“When a car has been written off you have the chance to give customers back the trust that they have placed in you.”

An accident in which a car has been written off is always the worst kind, because it implies the disappearance of the insured car.

Francisco Valencia, Línea Directa’s Corporate Governance Director, describes to us the quality measures taken by his company, a leading insurance company for foreigners.

Losing your vehicle in a foreign country is undoubtedly a major setback for anybody. What makes Línea Directa different from other companies?

First of all, the personalised service. Línea Directa offers customer service over the telephone entirely in English and German, and also acts as an intermediary and translator with garages and scrap merchants. In addition to this, we also offer different cover options which no other insurer offers, such as our amount of compensation, which is never below €1000, or when appropriate, double the price paid by customers for their insurance.

You also have a purchasing centre if customers wish to acquire a new vehicle after theirs has been written off.

At Línea Directa we believe that when a car has been written off, it is an opportunity to give customers back the trust that they have placed in you.

As a result, if customers ask us to, we take care of all the processes involved in buying a new vehicle in their name, including the paperwork and delivery of the vehicle to their home address.

And finally, how does Línea Directa pay compensation?

Línea Directa is committted to paying compensation within 40 days at the very most, although the average waiting time is always much less. If the car is less than 2 years old, either we pay its value when new in compensation or we take care of all the processes involved in purchasing another vehicle. In addition, if the car is between 2 and 3 years old, we offer 15% more than its official value, as a quality measure.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

JUST WHO AM I? I HAVE always had an open mind, which helps with my writing and my love of the arts. However, it also means that at times I can be a bit gullible.

Still, I have learned to be more sceptical as I get older, though I can still believe things a bit too easily.

One thing I have always been interested in is something that sceptics like to shout about. They say it is only believed by the gullible or stupid. Well, this is their opinion and as valuable to them as mine is to me.

However, I prefer to say that those who believe in what I am about to write about are more open minded than gullible - and I and many others like me are certainly not stupid.

For the next two weeks, I will be writing about somewhere I went a few weeks ago. I was to experience something I’ve had an interest in for many years and never got around to trying, so a while ago I decided to see if there was any way I could achieve what I had long thought about.

Being in Spain I wasn´t too sure I could find someone suitable in this area. However, after a very short search I found a woman called Laura Boyle. Some of you may be aware of the name and others will know her name very well. Indeed some of you may

even have been to see her, Laura is well known on the Costa Blanca for her Psychic Readings and ´shows´ because, for those who don´t know, she is a spiritual medium and Tarot consultant. That is, she claims to be able to relay messages from those who have passed over to those still living. I would imagine this is the large bulk of her work; however this is not why I wanted to see her.

There was something else I noticed on her website and this is what interested me because for many years I have wondered whether I have lived before.

I had no idea who I had been or where I´d lived but certain things had happened to me that weren’t deja vu, but real feelings and worries that seemed to come from nowhere

in this lifetime.

So I began to wonder where they came from.

Is it possible that lived have I before and if so was this past life the reason for my feelings? I hoped Laura would be able to help me the out find answers and so I sent her an e-mail as previous life regression, which is trying to find out if you´ve lived before, is a part of her work. .

I didn´t have to wait for long for a reply stating when she would be in Spain and when I could go and visit her. I wasn´t able to accept the first dates she offered so she wrote straight back with a new date and time which was perfect for me. It was only a month away, so I had enough

time to get excited but not so long that I got bored waiting!

And before I knew it, I was heading towards her home to have my regression.

I met Laura in a bar. I recognised her immediately from her photo on her website, so I introduced myself and we went to her property where she explained fully the process. This was very important as I had never been hypnotised before so had no idea what to expect.

I had imagined those under hypnosis would be completely unaware of where they were and could hear nothing, so once Laura had explained that I would be in deep relaxation but fully conscious I felt informed and happy to go ahead.

Laura also explained that sometimes there are no past lives to find, or they cannot be found. Like the spiritual work she does, sometimes nothing happens.

No one can make their past lives come through and it is better to be prepared for nothing than try to force something. This will not achieve anything and in the end the truth is what the client is paying for, indeed it is what I wanted to find out.

Next week I will explain what happened as I was hypnotised and whether indeed I did find myself reliving past lives.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

ANOTHER BUSH FULL OF TAXES IS PURE RAJOY WAY back in 1988, when George Bush Senior was running to become US President, and made a famous pledge which was to haunt him four years later, when he was booted out by a young Bill Clinton.

He uttered the words: “Read my lips, no more tax rises.”

That promise turned out to be worthless, and the former Arkansas governor made mincemeat of him, despite his personal problems trying to bed any woman who appeared within his eyeline.

It’s a lesson, though, that politicians seem totally unable to learn from. They just can’t stop making eye-grabbing tax promises in an election campaign, and then have to backtrack on them.

Take the example of Spanish Prime Minister Mariano ‘This isn’t a bailout’ Rajoy. As opposition leader in last November’s campaign, he was proud to announce that there would be no rises in IVA sales tax. Just eight months later, that policy lies in complete tatters.

True, he inherited a far worse situation than the Zapatero administration had declared publicly, and the tax rises are part of the price of getting help from Angela Merkel and her mates for the Spanish banks. But come the next election you can bet your last Euro that the PSOE will fling Rajoy’s IVA pledge straight back in his face.

And you just know that in whatever country you might live in, the politicians will continue to make electoral tax promises they just can’t keep, which adds to the already low opinion most people have of them.

As a side issue to the Spanish IVA rise, which at least has been paused until September for the main tourist season to end, I’ve yet to hear anybody in the Government tell us what possible benefit it is going to be for the already struggling businesses in this country.

It’s a complete replay of what the UK government has done, and just helps to stoke the fires of the recession. I’m DO you have issues about health that you would like answered? Well, The Courier is going to do exactly that in a fascinating new medical column by our medical expert Dr Machi Mannu.

Are you perhaps having treatment for an ailment and feeling even worse than before the treatment started? Or are you or a loved one are in permanent pain and desperate to find a remedy?

Dr Mannu believes the essence of beat-

afraid those dreadful Spanish unemployment figures are going to rise dramatically over the next few months, as the Madrid government dance like marionettes to the austerity madness dictated from Berlin and Brussels. Would it have

been too much to have taken a look at income tax rates, and to take more from the wealthy, rather than hitting millions of Spanish families that are barely scraping an existence?

There was some great news, though, with massive cuts being promised in local and regional government, along with the number of councillors. Now that makes serious sense!

There’s no bigger turn-off in politics than personalised mud-slinging and smearing, which is always a sign of desperation.

Most intelligent voters around the world ignore it, but over in America, dirt seems to stick, no matter how unjustified it might be.

US elections seem to deal in easily-produced sound bites, and I’m sad to report that President Obama has had his attack dogs snarling away at his Republican rival, Mitt Romney, over being involved in a company called Bain Capital that scythed away at American jobs.

Romney was accused, falsely, of being in charge in 1999 as CEO (he’d left by then), when Bain shut down American firms and shipping jobs overseas. Writing as an Obama fan, I’m deeply saddened that somebody who offered so much hope, has had to play dirty in such a nasty way.

It’s also a backhanded complement to Romney that the affable ex-Governor of Massachusetts is seen as a very serious threat to Obama, compared to John McCain and the moronic Sarah Palin in 2008.

I still think Obama will win, with some notable achievements in his first term in office, but it’s a bad move by him and his advisers that he’s playing the same dirty games that made him angry to be the victim at the hands of the Republicans four years ago.

What does it mean when Prime Minister David Cameron goes hawking around the newspapers telling everybody that the Coalition is in fine shape? Easy. You just know they’re in trouble!

A QUESTION OF HEALTH ing illness is to eliminate the cause – not just to treat the symptoms, as most practitioners do. He also believes strongly in the benefits of natural remedies and nutrients, and has controversial views on the massive use of chemically manufactured drugs and the danger many of them represent to those who us them.

Machi’s revolutionary methods at his MedB surgery in Punta Prima include

computerised diagnosis of health concerns without any old-fashioned, painful, time-consuming and sometimes toxic laboratory analysis such as X-rays or blood tests. Perhaps you want to know more about his preventative therapy, which is based on the scientific fact that every cell, tissue and organ has a strict bioelectrical signal. He explains: ‘’My preventative health care considers the

fact that a person is not only a biochemical organism, but also a biophysical energetic entity capable of repairing itself when the righ adjustments are made.’’

Send your questions to Machi at machimannu@gmail.com We’ll keep your identity secret if you wish – and the more difficult the question, the more Dr Mannu will enjoy answering it.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Young workers better than oldies? Don’t pension it!

WE'VE often heard that today's teenagers lack the work ethic; can't be bothered to turn up for work tidily dressed (if they actually turn up at all) and would prefer to talk to mates on their mobiles or use other pain-in-the-neck gadgets rather than do some real work.

Employers have been banging on about it for years it's part of the reason why they prefer to employ foreign labour than choose someone from the local school.

A BBC TV programme last week showed so graphically that all the complaints about modern youth are really true.

The programme plucked a group of pensioners in their 70s and got them into work again. For the first week they were learning the ropes; for the second, they were pitted against teenagers, supposedly eager to get a job.

We've heard for years complaints from employers that young job hopefuls just can't hack it in the workplace. They cite lack of respect, unwillingness to observe dress code, the lack of basic English and maths skills, not committing to work each day (and for a full day) and not accepting that they had to start at the bottom rather than have everything drop into their laps.

The programme showed how the pensioners quickly knuckled down, giving their very best to employers although they tired more easily and were slower than younger employees at picking up new skills.

But when it came to the teenagers - oh dear, oh dear!

One complained of being bored, one didn't bother to turn up the next day – and a waitress came to work with metal piercing her lip (how horrible is this crazy ‘fashion’?), which the employer asked her to get rid of. Then she failed to turn up for work the following day - though when she did finally return, she showed some promise in her job.

Another failed to turn up on one day, saying he had family issues he didn't want to discuss. To be fair, there was one lad - a trainee plumber - who ended up looking after his slower 70-something mentor.

Employers had mixed feelings. The old 'uns had the people skills and work ethic needed, but were generally slower than staff 20 years or so their junior. The young 'uns lacked the people skills, were unreliable and wanted to run before they could walk – they wanted the pay but didn't want to put in the graft to earn it. Most employers said if they had the choice, they would employ a pensioner before a teen.

Schools and teachers have been failing to give pupils necessary work skills, while parents who give kids everything without expecting them to earn it, have a lot to answer for.

The big problems come when these ‘expect it all for nothing’ youngsters have to care for us old 'uns.

Our greatest fear as we grow older –is the prospect of having to go into a home or to rely on carers who are anything but caring. And we hear repeatedly of people not being looked after properly when they are at their most vulnerable.

Now let's examine another aspect of this youngsters' skills gap. When I first heard about the problems G4S (the British security firm) were having finding staff to properly cover the Olympics, I felt anger towards them. Now, for some extent, I feel sympathy.

The government has had to bring in thousands more troops and police to properly guard the Olympics, because of the private security firm’s shortcomings.

On one level I hope the government has learned a lesson and stops trying to do everything with the use of money-orientated private firms. Providing adequate security to make the Olympics safe for everyone and making money do not mix.

The government was totally wrong not to leave the security of Britain and the Olympics firmly in the hands of the military and the police.

Britain, like other western nations, has many enemies who would love to bomb and kill the innocent to further their hateful aims. Many, thankfully, are still outside the UK, but there is also an enemy within.

Should this dreadful threat be left to a private company who think the answer to the nation's security is to employ Alevel students and others on the dole? I really think not.

The company turned to the labour market I have described earlier to employ the thousands of "guards" and,

no doubt, came upon the same problems faced by the employers in the TV programme. Loads of kids not properly educated to cope with today's labour market, computer literate but with few other skills.

And there's another dimension. Many of today's young people seeking jobs are from ethnic backgrounds and to weed out those who may have been radicalised by Islamists and could be a direct threat to the Olympic athletes and visitors would be a nightmare.

No wonder G4S had an insurmountable problem in recruiting enough suitable candidates. They should never have been given the task.

I HAVE left the most appalling example of people not fit to be employed in responsible jobs to last because reading about it made me so angry that I have had to calm down before writing about it.

I refer to the dreadful story of the 22-year-old patient in St George's Hospital, Tooting who was in for a routine hip replacement operation. He had suffered a brain tumour in the past which had left him needing hormone medication to control fluid levels.

All this was written in his notes, but hospital staff failed to read them and left him seriously dehydrated. The young man knew something was seriously wrong and begged nurses for some water but was ignored. He telephoned his doctor, imploring her to ask staff for water. She told him to ask staff, but he phoned back ten minutes later to say they would not give him one.

In utter desperation, he called 999 and told police what was happening, but when they arrived these dreadful staff told police the patient had a history of erratic behaviour and there was nothing to worry about.

Not one of them, including the doctor, looked at the notes and realised the cure was just a simple drink of water. Finally they sedated him, leaving him in a side room all night. He was given no IV drip and the following day he died in agony

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having lost a third (nine litres) of his body fluid.

The sad story was related at an inquest and the coroner launched a scathing attack on "incompetent" staff at this leading teaching hospital.

A total of 24 people were involved in the young man's treatment yet only one nurse has been demoted. The rest are still in their jobs.

Police are now reviewing the case to see whether criminal charges can be brought. The family are considering bringing legal action against the hospital.

Can you imagine this happening in Florence Nightingale's era? Can you imagine any patient in those days asking a nurse for a glass of water and being denied? Can you imagine just a generation ago hospital staff failing to read patients' notes for 24 hours?

I would round up all these failed hospital staff, especially the consultant in charge, and send them to jail for a good few years where, under complete supervision, they can look after prisoners. That might send the long overdue message to those NHS staff who put their own well-being first and those of patients second.

This sort of incompetence has nothing to do with NHS cash cuts. It has everything to do with people being employed not for their human, caring qualities but because they have the required academic qualifications.

It's about time that Britain's employers realised that university degrees are not the it all and end all, and stop putting qualifications top of the ‘musthave’ list.

The vast UK employment "industry" which mushroomed under Labour, must become fit for purpose - so that teenagers leave schools and colleges capable of making a real contribution to the workforce and not workshy benefit layabouts.

Then, perhaps, Britain may regain the competitive edge it needs to get out of recession.

Phew! It was good to get that off my chest!

NEXT time you see people who work in the public sector - whether it be doctors, police, teachers or firemen complaining about their pay or pension provisions, just dwell on the following, and offer them no sympathy whatsoever.

The Office for National Statistics has produced proof that public sector workers do so much better than their private sector counterparts. So all the rhetoric and sob stuff which flows from trade unions representing the public sector is simply them trying to maintain their members' inflated pay and conditions.

The ONC has discovered that state workers enjoy pensions twice the size of their private sector counterparts despite working fewer hours and earning, on average, 30% more.

They show what they describe as a "pensions apartheid" with the public sector gaining at the expense of taxpayers.

A total of 82% of state employees contribute to an occupational pension, with a retirement pot amounting to £90,100, while private sector workers have to make do with 38% and £40,000.

An independent calculation of the pensions of two workers, both now aged 26, earning the same salary, starting on £30,000 and finishing at £60,000, has shown that the public sector worker would retire on a £40,310 per year pension, while his counterpart in the private sector would get just £11,980.

So the next time teachers, doctors, or other workers strike because they think they are hard done by, they should be blown a huge raspberry by the rest of us who have to pay the bills for their far better lifestyle.

I HEAR from my friends summering in the Costa that it's getting unbearably hot now. I'm trying to decide what's better, Costa heat or Brit wet, dull and cold. Every day for the month we've been back in England it's rained at some time or other; daytime temperatures seldom get above 17 degrees and at night it's been down to nine degrees. We saw the sun for the first time in four days on Sunday! And this is mid summer!

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Friday, July 20, 2012

10 GOLDEN RULES OF A BARBECUE a few minutes and the meat will relax and reabsorb the juices.

10. Presentation. Although the food is the star of the show, it’s good to create atmosphere with fun and funky plates and props, colourful napkins and bowls. It’s worth going the extra distance.

Spicy lamb burgers with coriander, tomato and yoghurt relish 1. Light the barbecue before guests arrive. It’s the delicious smell of outdoor cooking that will get your guests salivating when they turn up. Once you’ve lit the barbecue, the coals should be ready after about 30 minutes.

2. Be ready to go. Having everything prepared in advance will make it all run more smoothly, leaving time for you to have a drink and relax.

3. Be organised. Make sure you have all your equipment to hand. Have ample table space around the barbecue and ensure all your food will fit on the grills. If necessary, borrow an extra barbecue from a friend or neighbour.

4. Stay with your barbecue. Success depends on turning and basting the food regularly to prevent burning or flameups. You won’t be lonely for long – who can resist the tantalising smell of a well-tended grill?

And now for the food…

5. Get the best ingredients. Summer brings an abundance of fresh fruit, veg and meat or fish, so you’ll be spoilt for choice.

6. Marinating. Unless you have a fantastic piece of tender, aged beef, which requires no more than a mere brush of oil and the quickest cooking, nothing beats a marinade for adding flavour and tenderising meat. Marinate overnight to get the best results.

7. Seasoning. We believe this is where many home barbecuers mess up. NEVER add salt to a marinade unless you’re marinating for less than two hours, as salt can toughen the meat. Instead, season well, just before barbecuing.

8. Get the temperature right. Give food enough time out of the fridge so it loses its chill and starts to approach room temperature. If ingredients are cold, the outside may burn before the inside is cooked. A good rule of thumb is to remove raw food from the fridge when you light the barbecue.

9. Rest meat once it’s cooked. This is essential. Eat steak directly off the grill and it will be tough, but leave it to rest for

Ingredients For the burgers 1kg/2¼lb minced lamb (it's best not to use extra-lean mince as the fat will help bind the burgers and keeps them juicy when cooked) 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 medium onion, finely chopped 1-2 tbsp mango chutney 3cm/1¼in piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated 1 red chilli, de-seeded and finely chopped ¼ tsp ground turmeric 1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed 1 tsp cumin seeds, crushed flaked sea salt and freshly ground black pepper oil, for brushing flat bread, pitta bread or burger buns, to serve For the relish 6 ripe tomatoes, quartered, de-seeded and diced 200g/7oz tub of Greek yoghurt bunch of fresh coriander, roughly chopped 1 small red onion, finely chopped squeeze of lemon or lime juice

Preparation method

Place the minced lamb in a large mixing bowl and add the garlic, onion, mango chutney, ginger, chopped chilli, turmeric, crushed coriander and cumin. Season well with salt and pepper and mix by hand until combined. The burgers can be briefly mixed in a food processor until just starting to hold together, but be careful not to over-work the mixture.

Divide and shape the mixture into 8-10 burgers. If you want to check the flavour, fry a small burger in a drop of oil before shaping the rest and, if necessary, add extra flavourings or seasoning.

Place the burgers on a cling film-covered tray and keep them in the fridge to relax for at least 30 minutes. They're ideal made the day before cooking.

To prevent the burgers from sticking, brush with a little oil before barbecuing over medium-hot coals for about 5-6 minutes each side.

Mix together the tomatoes, yoghurt, coriander, onion and lemon or lime juice and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Serve with the burgers, either inside the bun or as a dipping sauce.

For a change, use diced, seeded cucumber instead of tomatoes, and try mint instead of coriander.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Barbecuing hot tips Lighting a charcoal barbecue

Remove the lid and cooking grate and open the air vents. Tip enough charcoal onto the bottom charcoal grate to make an even layer, then add the firelighters.

Using a long match, light the firelighters, then use a long pair of tongs to swiftly pile up the charcoal in a mound over the burning firelighters. Leave to burn for 30 minutes.

The coals are ready when they have a light covering of grey ash with a barely visible glow underneath.

Rearrange them in an even layer, replace the grill and put the lid on.

Barbecue tips and hints

Make sure charcoal and gas grills are up to temperature before cooking.

Always cook with the lid down, and only take off the lid to add, turn or remove food.

Grilling times in charts and recipes vary depending on the amount, size and shape of food – and even the weather. Allow a little more cooking time on colder days.

Trim excess fat from steaks, chops and roasts – this helps avoid flare-ups.

Soak wooden skewers in cold water for at least 30 minutes before using them.

If your cooking grate is crowded with food, cook for longer than the specified time.

Make sure that individual pieces of food do not touch, so the food cooks on all sides.

Because food cooked in a kettle barbecue is out of sight, it can be out of mind. Use a kitchen timer to remind you when to turn

the food and when to take it off the heat.

Troubleshooting

Be patient with charcoal. It takes 30 minutes to reach cooking temperature.

Avoid frequently turning or peeking at the food, as heat escapes when you open the lid. For direct cooking, turning the food halfway through the cooking time is usually sufficient.

Keep the air vents at the top and bottom of a charcoal grill open while cooking.

Don’t use a fork to pierce and turn small cuts of meat or all the juices will flow out.

Many people think that grilling meat for a short time at a high temperature ‘seals in’ the juices. However, this just burns the meat on the outside, leaving it raw in the centre.

For best results, sear meat for a few minutes over direct heat, then move it to indirect heat for the rest of the grilling time.

Safety guidelines

Long-handed tools make the job easier and, more importantly, safer.

Leave perishable foods in the fridge or a cool box until just before cooking.

Use separate utensils such as chopping boards and plates for raw and cooked foods.

Remember, stainless steel skewers will retain a lot of heat after cooking.

Check hot coals are fully extinguished before leaving the barbecue site.

Water and fire do not mix, and steam can cause burns. If flare-ups do occur, move the food to one side until the flames die down, and do not spray with water.

Friday, July 20, 2012

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Friday, July 20, 2012

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Friday, July 20, 2012

SLIMMING UNDER WRAPS WHAT IS ACID Weight Loss by Lipolysis, Part 2

LAST WEEK we talked about Lipo by Laser. Another form of lipolysis used at Medaesthetics is Shrinking Violet Body Wrap.

This is a revolutionary method of removing fat. It is non-invasive and absolutely pain free. Lipolysis offers an approach that breaks down the fat cells which are then excreted by the body. It can remove fat from virtually anywhere on the body, including thighs, buttocks and abdomen.

The body wrap can reduce weight by at least one size with only one 60-

minute session; this means an inch loss of up to two inches on the waist.

The results are immediate but maximum effect is seen after 24 hours.

The wrap feels like you are being wrapped up and squeezed, not unpleasant at all and often causes a slight increase in urination for 24 hours as your body gets rid of toxins.

Shrinking Violet is an excellent way to jump start your weight loss and can be used every seven days. The number of treatments required varies according to the amount of weight loss

needed and how much exercise and diet management is also used.

This treatment can only be carried out by trained professionals and cannot be carried out at home.

Contact us today to book your free consultation.

Watch this space next week to read about Cambridge 800, your weight plan your way.

Contact us today to book your free consultation.

By Lynda Gibson Medaesthetics

Raw Food Diet: The Benefits "Raw-foodists" (also called "Rawists") are those who thrive on live food energy by consuming a diet of mostly uncooked whole plant foods — usually at least 75% though some say 100% is the only true path. A basic raw foods diet includes fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, sprouted whole grains, seaweeds and fresh juices.

Raw foods have not been heated above a certain temperature. The maximum temperature varies among the different forms of the diet, from 92ºF to 118ºF (33°C to 48°C).

According to raw-foodists, heat changes the makeup of food. Foods that have been heated have lost all of their life force, and their beneficial enzymes are destroyed. The digestive system has to work harder and longer to process cooked foods to get nutrition and energy from it. Once cooked, a food can lose up to 85 percent of its nutritional value. Raw foodists call that "dead food." Since we are essentially what we eat, consuming the dead energy of dead foods make our bodies feel heavy and stagnant.

Eating raw foods, on the other hand: Leads to near-automatic weight loss and maintenance

without feelings of hunger and deprivation, because raw foods are so filling and naturally delicious.

Assists in better digestion.

Can reduce total cholesterol as well as LDL cholesterol (the kind that gums up arteries).

May reduce the severity of inflammation in conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis.

Helps normalise blood pressure.

Allows for higher intake of vitamins A, C, and E, folate, and the minerals potassium and copper, than eating cooked foods.

Helps improve your skin so you start to look younger.

Leads to increased energy.

International fashions are on your doorstep with quality wear at reasonable prices and up to 70% off many items – such as ladies Tshirts from just £3.95 and gents from only £4.95.

Spring Mark is open seven days a week from 10am to 10.30pm – and is packed with international

ACID reflux also known as Gastro-oesophagel reflux disease (GORD) occurs when the acid from the stomach moves up into the oesophagus damaging the mucosal lining of its walls. The oesophagus is the muscular long tube that joins the throat to the stomach. At the junction where they meet lies a powerful valve or sphincter, the oesophageal sphincter, that helps prevent the contents of the stomach from entering the oesophagus. This is so because the stomach contains strong hydrochloric acid and digestive enzymes that help in food digestion. When this valve becomes weakened, gastric juices seep upwards into the oesophagus causing the common sensation known as heart burn. When acid reflux is left untreated or becomes persistent, it can lead to the scarring of the oesophagus making swallowing difficulty or even causing cancer.

There are several factors that are now known to contribute to the weakening of the valve, causing acid reflux.

A number of studies have found that obesity increases the risk of acid reflux. Obese people tend to have weaker sphincters, and they more often develop a condition related to acid reflux called hiatus hernia, in which the upper part of the stomach protrudes above the diaphragm, resulting in a deformed oesophageal sphincter. Smoking is also known to weaken the sphincter, and is a strong risk

Raw enthusiasts proudly proclaim their break from an addiction to cooked and processed foods. They tell us that incorporating a few uncooked meals a week is a good start that will bring immediate changes to the body to feeling better and having more energy.

Don't waste your food, yourself, and our planet by cooking what you eat, they say. Fruits, nuts, and vegetables which are whole, fresh and raw are brimming with life and have the ability to transmit their life force directly to you!

Be fashionable – shop at Spring Mark SPRING Mark, the new fashion Store, is now open next to the Habaneras Shopping Centre in Torrevieja (directly opposite the Wok Buffet and Casino).

You’ll find a huge selection of ladies, gents and children’s fashions at Spring Mark, as well as footwear and accessories.

REFLUX?

clothing at low, low prices.

Call 965 711 242 for further details.

factor for acid reflux. Research has also shown that the saliva of smokers contain low levels of bicarbonate which neutralizes acids. Cigarette smoking also reduces the production of saliva and stimulates the production of stomach acids that weaken the sphincters. Peptic ulcers and not enough digestive enzymes in the stomach may slow down the digestive process, causing an accumulation of gastric acids that back up into the esophagus causing heart burns. Other causes of heart burns also include pregnancy, eating a large meal and alcohol.

The majority of people suffering from acid reflux will benefit by making changes to their diet and lifestyle. In one study of overweight people with acid reflux, a low carbohydrate diet was found to provide significant and lasting improvement. One of the most effective ways to treat acid reflux disease is to avoid the foods and beverages that trigger symptoms. These foods vary from person to person, and include black pepper, chili powder, citrus fruits, spicy food, garlic and coffee. Others are broccoli, beans, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts. Eating smaller meals throughout the day or waiting a few hours before lying down and taking afternoon naps sitting on a chair are ways of alleviating the symptoms of acid burn. Raising the head of the bed a few inches higher is another effective way of treating heartburn. Natural remedy methods include chewing deglycyrrhizinated (DG) licorice, which is known to heal the mucous membranes. Aloe is a soothing herb that has a good record for treating acid reflux and heart burns. Bladderwrack and Slippery elm are traditional herbs also used in the treatment of acid reflux.

To find out more about anti-oxidant supplements discussed as well as for questions, please email contact@medb.es

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Friday, July 20, 2012

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RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

TIP: If you remember previously I have published instructions on how to book a medical appointment online. Well today I received a great tip from Jonathon for renewing European Health Cards on-line, it’s another great way to use your computer to help save the time and hassle of queuing at official buildings.

1.Open up a web browser (this seems to work better with Internet Explorer as other 3. Click on “Acceso al servicio” and then the “Solicitar / Renovar Tarjeta Sanitaria” browsers pick up on the security certificate warning) and navigate to www.seg- button at the bottom of the page. social.es

4. Complete the form with your personal details and click on the “Aceptar” button and your cards should be posted to you within 10 days.

2. In the bottom right hand part of the website is a link to “Tarjeta Sanitaria Europea” – click this link and a new page will open (don’t be tempted to click on the British flag on this page as it will take you to a different page)

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Rob on Road to Heaven CABO ROIG was in mourning last week following the death of a favourite son.

Talented musician and singer, Robert Armstrong (pictured) died in his native Londonderry following a long illness.

Robert, who was 60, played in bands in Northern Ireland and on the Costa Blanca.

He was instrumental in building up a huge following in the Trinity Bar in Cabo Roig when it opened nine years ago. It was standing room only on karaoke nights where he was ably assisted by his better half, Maura. People would return year after year to listen to Rob’s cultured

voice belting out country classics.

He was also known for his Irish wit, banter and craic, and could be seen every St Patrick’s Day giving a solo performance with guitar at the ready.

Rob, who lived in Pilar, will be sadly missed by everyone, but especially wife Maura, son Richard, and daughter Anne.

At the service in Claudy's Holy Trinity Church, Rob's former band members sang his favourite song, the Willie Nelson classic, On The Road Again.

A star has gone out on the Cabo Roig Strip....RIP Rob. PETER WATKINS

Lions widen web THE Lions club has launched a new, interactive website.

Designed by Richard Cavender of Blue Moon Solutions, the website will be much more dynamic than the old one. It will be regularly updated with the activities of the club, and users will be able to make comments or put questions to the Lions’ directors.

Richard donated his time and expertise to build the website.

And his generosity doesn’t stop there as he is going to maintain it for free, too.

Richard is also President of The International Business Association (TIBA). TIBA and many of its members regularly sponsor the Torrevieja Lions. Without this sponsorship the excellent work carried out locally and nationally by the Lions would be a great deal more difficult. If your business would like to become a Lions sponsor, email secretary@torreviejacostalions.org And don’t forget to check out the new website at www.torreviejacostalions.org

ORANGE BLOSSOM Language and laughs so fruitful under the trees

Volunteers put on a cultural feast

FRIDAY the 13th was certainly not an unlucky day for Entre Naranjos, as it marked the end of the first two-week summer school ‘Among the Orange Trees’ aimed at improving integration between Spanish and English communities in the Orihuela area.

For two weeks, 54 Spanish youngsters aged 10 to 14 attended a summer camp at the mainly English-speaking Entre Naranjos urbanisation. They were immersed in the English language while they engaged in a wide range of activities including bowls, golf, arts, craft and drama.

On Friday there was a prize giving and concert put on by the children and teachers and attended by parents and local residents as well as Mayor of Orihuela, Monserrate Guillén and the education councillor, A CHARITY fun day is to Rosa Martinez. be held in Jolly's Bar in “A vital aspect of the course Quesada on Sunday in has been the relationship built aid of the AECC and in between the Spanish students loving memory of and the 30 local English speaMarcelo. king volunteers who worked The event will feature and played with the children,” fun and entertainment said course director Jane all day long, kicking off Cronin. with table-top sales “The children started by from 10am, followed by interviewing the volunteers in prize and stand up English to learn about their bingo. lives and most volunteers The TKO roadshow then stayed on for the full two will follow from 2pm. weeks to join in with other actiAnd the action goes on vities. It was a novel experienwith Zumba dancing, ce and great fun for everyone the big picture quiz, a involved.” hamper raffle and a Orihuela town hall has rengigantic tombola of ted premises long term on the more than 40 huge, genEntre Naranjos urbanisation erously donated prizes. for use over the year for simiThese include car lar courses, Spanish lessons, valeting, beauty theraworkshops and cultural activipy, mini golf, menus del ties for people of all ages. dia and other meals The mayor said such activiand much more! ties are ideal for bringing the The evening will end community together and with entertainment and should be run in other areas of karaoke with Peter Hull.

Orihuela.

Get down to Jolly’s for a jolly good day!

LEADING LIGHTS: Course director Jane Cronin with Orihuela Mayor Monserrate Guillén and education councillor Rosa Martinez

Torry’s golden girls in splash and grab

SIMPLY THE BETH: Beth Altabas and Vivki Connelly show off their eight-medal haul

TORREVIEJA Swimming Club’s Beth Altabas and Vicki Connolly amassed eight medals in the 23rd Spanish Summer Open National Masters Championships.

The event, which took place in Valencia last weekend, saw 119 swimming clubs from across Spain and 844 master swimmers compete.

Beth gained her medals in the 65-69 years female category and Vicki in the 45–49 years female. Both swimmers swam the maximum number of races allowed over the three day event.

The medals began to flow in when Beth picked up a gold in her first event, the 100m backstroke, then later another gold in the 200m freestyle.

The following day, Vicki swam her way to a bronze in the 400m freestyle, while Beth again claimed the gold in the event for her age group. Then in the 100m freestyle, it was bronze for Vicki and a fourth gold for Beth.

Back in the same seats on Sunday, now nicknamed “championship hill”, Beth and Vicki were triumphant in the 50m freestyle. For Beth, a fifth medal, and for Vicki, a third bronze.

So in total, Beth and Vicki won eight medals in 10 races, with a fourth and eighth position also notched up by the women.

This was enough to put the Torrevieja Swimming club half way up the rankings for points for females in the overall competition – a massive achievement with only two swimmers.

For details on the club call 637869602 or email ecagigao@hotmail.com

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Friday, July 20, 2012

A SHOCKING MUSIC SHOW Torrevieja set for an electronic fiesta

By KEITH NICOL SOME 15,000 people are expected in Torrevieja on August 11, as ElectroMar Day arrives in the city.

ElectroMar is a festival of electronic music and indie artists featuring the most important and influential acts of the moment, including Orbital, Tiga, Love of Lesbian, Iván Ferreiro, Booka Shade, Dj Fresh, Cyberpunkers, Dubsidia, Olivfer Huntemann, The Zombie Kids, Varry Brava and Christian Smith.

It’s all taking place in the new concert hall of the Parque Antonio Soria beside the Water Park, and will be the venue’s inaugural event.

With less than a month to ElectroMar Day, nearly 8,000 tickets have already been sold, and some 15,000 people are expected to attend.

Torrevieja’s councillor for culture and tourism Luis Maria Pizana said that these events are great for Torrevieja tourism, attracting thousands of people during the weekend and

That’s my boy: Burger king Paul with grandson Ryan

Flipping out: Paul Choularton tosses another burger

Dancing the night away to Louie’s Disco

Luis Maria Pizana, Torrevieja’s councillor for tourism and culture, with ElectroMar’s Sebastian Cazorla and Marc Tapies. Splitting the boys is the councillor for foreigners, Rosario Martinez beyond. He added that it was worth noting the great impact that ElectroMar is having in social networks as more than 40,000 people have shown interest in this musical event.

ElectroMar will become a one-day event that will trav-

el around Spain during 2012 and 2013, kicking off with the August 11 show in Torrevieja.

ElectroMar will rotate through different cities bringing energy, great music and featuring the best electronic summer dance festi-

A cause not to forget THIS Saturday, get along to the Lounge Bar in Torrevieja for a night of great entertainment and the chance to help Torrevieja Alzheimer’s Association.

Enjoy Pipes and Drums, music from the 70s and be in with the chance of winning some spectacular raffle prizes.

Entry is free, and money raised and donations on the night will go to help the Torrevieja Alzheimer’s Association continue its valuable work.

This charity helps those suffering from dementia and their families to cope.

And anyone whose family has been touched by this cruel disease will know just how important such support can be.

As nobody is immune from Alzheimer’s, you never know when you might need the services of Torrevieja Alzheimer’s Association. So, help them out by going along to the Lounge Bar and joining in the fun this Saturday from 8.30pm.

For more information on the Torrevieja Alzheimer’s Association, visit http://www.afatorrevieja.es To see the website in English, click on the flag.

val to be found, nationwide.

The concert will begin at 6pm, with dedicated electronic music fans expected to keep partying until around 7am the following morning.

While the festival will probably not hold much appeal to those of advanced years, it is certain be be immensely popular with the kids!

More information on ElectroMar 2012 can be found at http://www.electromarfestival.com.

Pick up your copy of the Courier and tune into TKO as we will be offering you the chance to win FREE tickets to the event. And if electronic music is not your thing, the tickets could make a great present for the grandkids.

SUNSHINE greeted partygoers at the recent barbecue held by MABS Cancer Support Group in Mazarrón.

Guests danced the night away to Louie’s Disco. John, Michael and Paul did a fantastic job on the barbecues, cooking all the food fresh, and Les kept everyone entertained whilst serving at the bar.

DJ Louie very generously donated his fee back to MABS and nine-year-old Ryan was kept busy all night, helping wherever he could.

MABS gave a huge thanks to Cecilia and John for being such excellent hosts and to everyone who

Welcome fundraising supported the fundraising event. A total of €790 was raised for MABS Mazarrón.

The day before the barbecue, the Welcome Group donated €60 to cover expenses for the MABS Mazarrón Helpline for the three months to June and a further €315 to insure the MABS car, which takes cancer patients to hospital appointments.

MABS Helpline 620 422 410, website www.mab smurcia.com

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Friday, July 20, 2012

SPANISH PRESS

MADRID’S STREETS HEAD ATHENS WAY

Night is day in capital as meteorite hits on Friday 13 abc

El País

IN the early hours of last Friday a flash lit up the sky of the peninsula for a split second.

It was 2.05am and most people slept, but those who saw the flash described it on social networks and internet forums as “a light that turned night into day”. It was The swingeing public sector cuts announced last accompanied by a loud rumble.

Wednesday by Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy precipitated a What was it that appeared in the sky? spontaneous outpouring of rage on the streets of the capital Scientists have the answer. It was the disinless than 24 hours later. tegration of a cometary fragment over the Labour unions had called their members to arms for a mass province of Madrid that caused an enorprotest on Thursday of last week but many could not wait that mous flash that lit up the centre of the long to make their displeasure keenly felt. “Cowards, cowards!” country.

“Hands up, this is a robbery!” and “Rajoy, resign!” were some “The brightness was so intense that the of the slogans chanted by public sector workers who also event could be seen across the entire stopped traffic on the capital’s main thoroughfares, including Iberian Peninsula. In fact, for a split second Génova street, where the Popular Party has its headquarters. in the downtown area, the night sky lit up as The traffic stoppages were brief but protestors promised if it were day,” said a statement from the more disruption against what they termed “bullying of employmeteor detection team at the Complutense ees in public service functions.” Protests are scheduled to take University of Madrid (UCM). place every day at 12pm and 6pm and the main labour unions The extraordinary magnitude of the event The latest cuts prompted a spontaneous protest in Madrid have called for protests across Spain in July and August. allowed it to be detected not only by the Neither has a public sector strike been ruled out in September. cameras located at the Cándido Méndez and Ignacio Fernández Toxo, leaders of the observatory of the University UGT and CCOO unions, promised “a hot autumn.” of Madrid, but by others The central government delegate in Madrid, Cristina much more distant. It was Cifuentes stressed that the majority of people detained had observed from several hunbeen “anti-system radicals, some of them with numerous predred miles away. vious arrests for crimes against property.” The police carried Preliminary analysis of out a “robust action against violent elements that wanted to data by Professor of the turn Madrid into Athens,” she said.

University of Huelva José Cifuentes asked unions to be “a little more responsible at a THE Mountain Rescue Intervention Group María Madiedo shows that moment of extreme delicacy, not only from the point of view of (GREIM) of the Guardia Civil in Potes, including the origin of this event was in a dog from the specialist search and rescue public order but also because of the economic situation we are a meteoroid from a comet. currently going through, a situation that union leaders have con- team, saved two 14-year-old British schoolchildThis piece of material having ren lost in the Picos de Europa, northern Spain, tributed to by supporting all of the policies of the previous a diameter of approximately while on a school excursion.

Socialist government that have brought us to this point.” one metre, collided with the The team was called out after an Earth’s atmosphere at high English teacher from a school speed, which raised its temparticipating in the trip reported perature above 4,500 the boys missing in dense fog. degrees Celsius. a be ld ou GREIM agents and a German This led to a phenomenon The state subsidy “w of the Shepherd named Eddie launched programme to ean rop SEVERAL members Eu of known as a fireball or bolide, d kin a P), (FD rty the Pa ,” l speed with which Eddie had been which began at about 110 km an immediate search.

German Libera overcome the crisis ion govern- help able to find the missing children had altitude and was rapidly penEddie is trained to pick up the FDP MEP Jorgo an member of the coalit rm -Ge eco Gr l, have sugd. been crucial as a rapid rescue was etrating the atmosphere.

Bil smell of human scent and is able d tol s aki ment of Angela Merke ark rmans to Chatzim demanded by the thickening fog. to find people buried in the snow Travel Federation an gested paying Ge rm Ge e The meteoroid exploded Th spend their Spain for After checking the children were more than 30km above s on in avalanche rescues. ati erv res encourage them to s say V) (DR of s trie un unharmed, GREIM officers returned ground level, causing intense s year.

It took him just over 20 minholidays in the co have started well thi orts abc. them to their worried teachers and light. The shock wave generutes to sniff out the missing chilsouthern Europe, rep classmates. dren. The Guardia Civil later said the ated the loud roar.

PUBLIC sector workers stormed Madrid’s streets ito protest over government cutbacks amid as a government delegate warned that that violent elements want to turn the capital into Athens.

Dog beats fog as Eddie rescues lost British kids

s? n a rm e G r fo b su y a lid Ho

20 minutos

Friday, July 20, 2012

SPANISH PRESS

NEW BIG CHEESE IS NO DINOSAUR El País A CHEESE shop owner and his son have turned unlikely palaeontologists after stumbling across a major cache of hadrosaurid (or duck-billed dinosaur) bones in Catalonia.

Pere Galceran got in touch with the Conca Dellà Museum and the Miquel Crusafont Catalan Institute of Palaeontology several weeks ago after his son, Lo Pere Xic, found the remains while out tending to the family herd in the town of Basturs, Lleida province.

The pair recognised the fossils as prehistoric remains as soon as they saw them. Remains of more than a thousand dinosaurs have been found in the area and Basturs residents are familiar with their appearance.

However, the palaeontologists who confirmed the discovery believe this most recent site to be of particularly spectacular proportions. The scientists began excavating the area as a matter of urgency as they are worried that the bones, many of which are poking out of the ground, may be plundered by unscrupulous dinosaur bone hunters.

“They are very big bones, and there are a lot of them,” a Conca Dellà Museum spokesman told El País.

The paleontological team’s first assessment of the newly named Costa de les Solanes site believes it to be an immense find that will be investigated for many years.

Its studies have already classified the first bones as belong-

Palaeontologists are afraid of dinosaur bone hunters ing to some type of hadrosaurid - large herbivores from the Upper Cretaceous period of around 70 to 65 million years ago.

Many traces of hadrosaurids have previously been found in the area, but this new discovery promises to be something exceptional. The Costa de les Solanes site preserves the remains of some of the last dinosaurs to live in Europe before a global catastrophe - that many scientists believe may have been an enormous meteorite hitting the Earth - wiped them out.

The excavation forms part of the Catalan Pyrenees dinosaur research project.

Unemployed: Guilty until proven innocent

THE government’s cutbacks in unemployment benefit payments have taken an Orwellian turn with the announcement that even a suspicion of fraud will be sufficient to suspend payments, reports El País.

Until now, a person suspected of defrauding the system — by working while claiming benefits — would lose the right to claim only if and when fraud was proven. In some cases the loss of benefits is temporary; sometimes it is permanent.

Under the new regulations, these sanctions can be imposed whether actual proof of wrongdoing is obtained or not.

The Labour Ministry justified the decision by saying that this would increase its

armoury in the fight against fraud. But unions decried the announcement as opening the door to “arbitrariness and the criminalisation of the unemployed worker.” l SPAIN could receive bank bailout funds from the Eurogroup until the year 2028, according to a report on Saturday in the German weekly Der Spiegel, reports Informacion. The opinion is based on an unpublished report from the European Financial Stability Fund (EFSF).

Two thirds of the 100bn euros in aid would be used in the short term to recapitalise banks. The remainder, maintains the confidential document obtained by Der Spiegel, would be a “safety cushion in the long term”.

When will the kids move out?

SEVEN out of every 10 Spaniards aged between 20 and 29 still live with their parents.

The late emancipation is the main difference between Spain and other Europeans, according to a CaixaForum Madrid study.

It said the economic crisis is exacerbating the Spanish model of late youth emancipation. The average age of leaving home is around 29, while in other countries, such as Finland, it is 23.

27

Too costly for Spain, euro was a mistake

THE euro is too expensive for Spain, and instead of trying to adapt the situation for the euro countries the “currency should be changed,” the former chairman of IBM Europe and the German Federation of Industries, Hans-Olaf Henkel said this week.

In the nineties he was an ardent advocate of the creation of the euro, but this week Henkel, a professor at the University of Mannheim and one of the signatories of an appeal to Germany against the bailouts, admitted his support for the single currency “was the biggest mistake of my life”.

He says the euro is good for no one and that he does not see a future for the 17. He has called for a ‘northern euro’ for the rich countries and a devalued euro for the rest, leading to accusations that he is anti-European.

In an interview with abc, he denied the charge.

Comparing the euro to cooking eggs, he said: “If you decide to make scrambled eggs with 17 eggs and one is old, you have to throw the whole plate.

“The fault is the euro [not the markets]. We had never imagined a problem in Portugal affecting the stock market in Frankfurt. I fought for the creation of the euro. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

“I do not think that Spain has a chance of being competitive with the current strategy based on the savings.

There is nothing in the program of reforms and cuts that goes to make Spain more competitive. The euro has become too expensive for Spain.

When asked why not return to the pesata, he said: “No doubt a return to national currencies is a better alternative than leaving things as they are.”

Limbless man in Gibraltar swim A QUADRUPLE amputee has successfully swum across the strait of Gibraltar to Morocco as part of an effort to swim between all the world’s continents.

Philippe Croizon, who lost his arms and legs in an electrical accident, has already swum the Channel as well as between Indonesia and Papua New Guinea,

and between Asia and Africa in the Gulf of Aqaba.

With the aid of prosthetic flippers attached to his leg stumps, he made the ninemile crossing in just over five hours.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

UK HEADLINES

HORROR OF COUPLE BURIED ALIVE A COUPLE died after being buried alive in their car for up to 10 days by a landslide.

Daily Mirror

crews after managing to plot the couple’s route by tracking their credit card transactions.

It is feared they were either crushed to death or suffocated inside their silver Skoda Fabia.

The entrance to the 345-yard tunnel was blocked by the mudslide on July 7 – forcing the clothe of sure A3066 road linkThe Sun ing the village with Crewkerne in Somerset.

Police broke into spinster Rosemary’s home after she and the man – identified locally only as Mike, a retired medical consultant from Taunton – FELLAS up North use more Viagra than any other part of were reported missing.

Bank details showed they Britain, a report shows. in the Beaminster area were The NHS funded 2.3MILLION prescriptions for the little blue pills last year to help lads perform in the bedroom. at the time of the landslide.

Detectives alerted firefightOf that, £5.1million was spent in the North East and ers, who began to dig on £12.6million in the North West.

That worked out at an aver- Monday night before making

Women’s Institute fundraiser Rosemary Snell, 67, and her new partner, a man in his 70s who has not been named, were trapped when hundreds of tons of mud and rubble crashed down an embankment.

But the tragedy, at the entrance to the Beaminster tunnel in flood-ravaged Dorset, remained undiscovered until police alerted fire

Keeping it up North: Viagra on the map

age of £1.89 per patient in the North East and £1.73 in the North West.

By contrast, men down South needed the least help.

Health chiefs there spent a similar amount on Viagra, but had 1.5million more fellas to care for — putting the cost at just £1.24 per patient.

The figures from the Prescription Pricing Authority show huge variations across the country, with some areas forking out almost 50 per cent more than others.

The outlay in the East was £8.3million, with a total of £7.7million spent in the South West.

The NHS bill for the sex drug was £30million a decade ago, but the cost to taxpayers has nearly TREBLED. This rise has come despite side-effects including heart attacks, blindness and amnesia being reported by patients at the rate of one a week.

Experts reckon the rise is due to medics trying to stop men being poisoned by fake Viagra sold online.

Rosemary Snell: She was trapped by mud and rubble

was no one was in the tunnel the grim discovery.

Tim Burden, 28, visited the when it happened. It’s very site the day after the landside. sad to think that someone He said: “The mud must could have been buried for 10 have been 10ft to 15ft high. days and we didn’t know.”

Local councillor Ron Bond There was no sign of a car and it is harrowing to think I said: “It seems outrageous was there when two people that somebody was in there for so long. I know firefighters were trapped underneathl.”

Villager Douglas Beazer have to be careful of their own added: “All week everyone safety but it is just so awful has been saying how lucky it and such a terrible tragedy.”

Thug given blind justice A VIOLENT burglar who attacked a man was blinded in one eye when his victim fought back.

Thug Joey Hoban, 24, forced his way in and laid into Paul Kerr with a knuckleduster.

But he came off worse when Mr Kerr, 29, grabbed a knife to defend himself and stabbed his assailant several times — once between the eyes.

The blade severed an optic nerve, causing Hoban (pictured) to lose the sight in his right eye.

The attack happened in January at Mr Kerr’s home in Blackpool.

Local man Hoban admitted burglary and grievous bodily harm and was jailed for 23 months at Preston Crown Court.

His lawyer Virginia Hayton said he now

The Sun feared losing the sight in his good eye. She added: “He was stabbed in the bridge of the nose and the blade of the knife entered the back of his eye and severed an optic nerve.

A puncture wound damaged his lung.

His lung has now collapsed on two occasions.

“There are concerns he may lose the sight in his other eye. He is not the cocksure young man he used to be.”

Hoban, who has a long criminal history, was given an Asbo aged 15 and convicted of wounding with intent in 2005. Judge Andrew Menary said: “Only an immediate prison sentence can be imposed”.

Daily Mirror

ROGUE Traders star Dan Penteado (above) was jailed for three months on Tuesday for fiddling nearly £25,000 of benefits while being paid to hunt down crooks.

Penteado, co-presenter with Matthew Allwright on a section of the BBC’s Watchdog show, looked stunned and tearful as two security guards led him to the cells to start his 12-week sentence.

His Swedish artist wife Malin, 38, also broke down as she watched him being taken away.

Magistrates heard Penteado, 40, claimed benefits over four years but failed to declare he had earned more than £56,000 as the show’s leather-clad biker.

Penteado was rumbled when a housing benefit officer working Bournemouth for Council Borough recognised him on TV. Penteado admitted eight offences of dishonestly and knowingly claiming benefits last month.

Friday, July 20, 2012

UK HEADLINES

IMMIGRATION FUELS POPULATION BOOM

29

Daily Mirror

Daily Express IMMIGRATION has fuelled a 3.7 MILLION increase in the population of England and Wales in ten years, new census figures have revealed.

The number of people went up by 7.1 per cent to hit 56.1 million in 2011.

It is the biggest rise since records began 211 years ago.

Fifty-five per cent of the increase, 2.1 million, was a result of the influx of people from abroad between 2001 and 2011 due to Labour’s disastrous migration policies.

The remaining 1.6 million was through birth rate rises and falling deaths, the Office for National Statistics said.

But immigration is a key factor in rising birth rates too. One in four babies now has a non-UK born mum.

England is the third most densely populated country in the EU after Malta and the Netherlands and has the fifth fastest growing population.

When figures for Scotland and Northern Ireland are added, the ONS estimates the UK’s population will be 63.1 million, four million higher than ten years ago.

MigrationWatchUK’s Sir Andrew Green said: “The latest projections show immigration will account for two thirds of our population increase in the next 15 years. That is five million people.”

But Institute for Public Policy Research director Matt Cavanagh played down the rise. He said: “The rate of increase is above the EU average, slightly above France and Italy, but half that of Spain.

“Germany has a shrinking population, a cause for concern.”

The ONS said a 400,000 rise in children under five was driven by increases in women of child-bearing age as a result of immigration.

London was the city with the biggest rise, up 851,000, 12 per cent, to 8.2million.

The census also underlines the ageing population. One in six are over 65, 430,000 are 90 plus.

Britain‘s population has increased by 7.1 per cent to 56.1 million

Ban for Rooney’s booze brother

WAYNE Rooney’s brother was banned from the road on Tuesday after being caught driving three times over the limit to buy booze for a party.

The Manchester United striker’s younger sibling Graham (pictured left) was found guilty of drink driving but blamed his friends.

Dressed in a Team GB hoodie, the 24-year-old left Liverpool Magistrates’ Court with friends after being handed a two-year driving ban, 150 hours community service and £650 costs.

He was arrested at his parents’ luxury £450,000 house in Liverpool in April. s overtaken speaking Graham - who has a striking resemblance Text messaging ha ct d face-to-face conta an e on to his £180,000-a-week superstar brother, 26 ph bile on a mo iun mm co thod of daily - was held in custody for more than 14 hours. as the most-used me n s and family. More tha The court heard there had been a party at cation between friend s at ge ssa me t tex e us s half (58%) of UK adult ily fam house he shares with parents Wayne the h wit te ica un mm least once a day to co senior and Jeanette. He was arrested after s. and friend face-to-face contact officers spotted a black Audi A3 driving erratThis is more than for bile phone (47%) mo a on ically into the grounds of the property. The (49%), speaking ng (33%). rki two ne court heard he became ‘'instantly aggresl cia so d an sive’, threatening to sue police for trespassing.

ing lk ta e th o d rs e g n fi ir e th Brits let

lar now the most popu TEXT messaging is between n tio ica un mm co form of daily figures have shown.

British adults, new ount reased use, the am inc of rs yea er Aft d speaking on a en sp s ult ad tish of time Bri e. pped for the first tim mobile phone has dro 200 texts ds sen w no ton Bri But the average rket Communications Ma a month, Ofcom’s of ure fig the le ub do than Report found, more o. ag four years

Daily Mail

Airport alert over weapon of mass conception...

THE man with the world’s largest penis was subjected to a rigorous frisking by airport security staff amid fears he was trying to smuggle a weapon on board a flight.

Jonah Falcon, 41, aroused suspicion when eagle-eyed guards from the Transport Security Administration at San Francisco International Airport spotted his bulging package.

The well endowed New Yorker was thoroughly searched and even had powder sprinkled on his pants to check for explosives after his “very noticeable” manhood was mistaken for a biological threat.

Mr Falcon told the Huffington Post: “I had my ‘stuff’ strapped to the left. One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.' I said, ‘It’s my d***.

“He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands.

“They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.”

Mr Falcon is considered to have the world’s largest penis, although the Guinness Book of World Records does not record such achievements.

His manhood, which has even featured in a documentary, measures 9 inches limp and 13.5 inches when erect.

30

Friday, July 20,16, 2012 Friday, December 2011

13-year-old Brit girl takes on US drag racers Paige Wheeler isn’t your average 13year-old girl. Her idea of a summer vacation is going drag racing in the USA against 800 of America’s top junior competitors.

Paige is about to take part in the NHRA Junior Drag Racing League’s Eastern Conference Final, which happens in Bristol, Tennessee every summer. Attracting entrants aged 8 to 18 from right across the American continent, the event is a huge challenge compared to her usual hunting grounds at the Santa Pod and Shakespeare County Raceways in the UK. Paige races a Half Scale Dragster, capable of 0-60mph in just 3 seconds. Each run lasts for an eight of a mile – instead of the

more familiar quarter – yet speeds still regularly top 80mph at the finish.

This despite power being provided by the descendant of an engine that originated 20 years ago in a lawn mower.

In Bristol, Paige will be battling not just the other competitors – many of whom race every weekend, compared to her every few weeks – but also the weather, the racing conditions and her car. She’ll have to adapt, and adapt fast.

Tennessee in summer is fiercely hot, for example, while even the famous drag racing start line ‘Christmas Tree’ lighting system is different in America – a significant issue in a sport where reaction times are vital.

Making matters worse in this regard, Paige won’t even be driving her usual car.

Instead she’s borrowing a different Half Scale Dragster from the makers in New Jersey – creating yet another obstacle for her to overcome.

But Paige is one of Britain’s top young drag racers; having won the Junior Dragster trophy at Santa Pod’s FIA European Finals in her first full season, she currently lies fourth in this year’s UK national championship. 2012 represents her second crack at the Eastern Conference Finals.

Paige says: “I’m excited about going, but not at all nervous. I did race at Bristol for the first time last year, and managed to win a few rounds, so I know what it will be like.”

The challenge is so tough, however, that

she and her support team – consisting of parents Andy and Dionne, sister Belle and sponsors Alamo Rent A Car with Oakley, Lucas Oil and JEGS – will be treating every race where she crosses the line first as “a shining individual triumph in itself.”

Eventually Paige has ambitions to become a 250mph Pro Modified drag racer, once she graduates from the Juniors. Her interest in the sport stems solely from a visit to Santa Pod four years ago, followed by a ride in the track’s Junior Dragster shortly afterwards.

But that’s not to say drag racing doesn’t run in the family – younger sister Belle is only eight, but she now competes in the UK Juniors as well.

Friday, July 20, 2012

31

Now then, now then Now then, now then – who fancies bidding on a limited edition, low mileage RollsRoyce previously owned by Sir Jimmy Savile? Or if that won’t fit in the garage, how about his bright yellow BMW Isetta bubble car?

Both are going to auction at the end of the month as two of the star lots in a sale of no less than 550 items collected by the former radio and television presenter during his 84year life.

The Rolls-Royce is a 2002 Corniche, number of 46 of the 56 ‘Last of Line’ editions that commemorated the end of 56 years of Rolls-Royce construction at the factory in Crewe.

One of only nine such models built in right-hand drive, the Corniche has apparently covered just 4,420 miles from new. It also comes complete with the JS 247 number plate – 247 being the medium wave frequency used by Radio 1 from 1967 to 1978.

It’s expected to fetch between £60,000 and £90,000.

If that’s a little too rich for you, don’t despair, as Sir Jimmy’s Isetta bubble car is estimated at a much reasonable £5,000£8,000. But we wouldn’t be at all surprised if it ends up going for more.

It turns out that someone had fixed it for

over by a truck. More recently the car has been on display at the Bubble Car Museum.

The auction of Sir Jimmy Savile’s collected memorabilia, including both cars, is taking place in accordance with his wishes in order to raise money for the Sir Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust.

Arranged by Dreweatts, the sale is set for 30 July at Saviles Hall in Leeds. More details of these and the other 548 lots – cigars, male jewellery, a diamond encrusted Rolex, THAT chair, etc – can be found on Dreweatts’ website.

him (ahem), as although Sir Jimmy originally purchased this Isetta 300 Plus back in 1965 – when he was resident DJ at the New Elizabethan Ballroom in Manchester – it has “apparently” undergone a full body restoration.

What’s more, the Isetta’s passenger seat has played host to the Duke of Edinburgh – as Sir Jimmy is once said to have collected

Clarkson - highest paid BBC star

Jeremy Clarkson has reportedly earned more than £3 million over the past year from presenting Top Gear – but, due to the way the series is produced, the majority of his pay does NOT come from the licence fee.

The Guardian today reports that Clarkson is “easily the highest-paid BBC star” thanks to rocketing dividends from the commercial division of Top Gear that retails DVDs and other merchandise.

BBC Worldwide owns half of the commercial division and has received a £4.5m dividend for 2011/12, latest figures reveal.

Clarkson also owns 30% of this company, leading the Guardian to today estimate he has received a £2.7m dividend (up from £1.8m last year).

On top of this, Clarkson reportedly receives around £500,000 from the licence fee which, with other payments, takes his income up to around £3.5 million.

Although the sums are vast, Clarkson reportedly works hard for his money – it is his personality that has helped drive Top Gear to such success.

Furthermore, although the BBC pays a talent fee to Clarkson, he is actually helping return many times

this back to the corporation.

This means the public service broadcaster is profiting from Clarkson’s success. These are sure to be very welcome returns at a time when cuts to the licence fee are forcing spending reviews across the board.

the Queen’s husband from Aylesbury train station in his yellow bubble.

According to the auctioneers, “the Duke’s reaction was not recorded.”

And if you’re wondering about the orange light on the top, Sir Jimmy had it fitted to make the Isetta more visible, after the pair were nearly run

32

Friday, July 20, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 18 represents D and 14 represents S, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Mix less gas for bifocals (7) 5 Linen rope? (5) 8 Distinction shouldered by an officer (7) 9 Epic poem included in Swahili address (5) 10 Dance with a doctor in South Africa (5) 11 Help too difficult for a nuisance on the road (7) 12 Trader gives the price, but with some hesitation (6) 14 The rest of shift is lots of trees (6) 17 Give a foolish archer a guinea and you will receive a horse (7) 19 Removes from office and bags (5) 22 Cut back dried fruit (5) 23 Jets for little people (7) 24 Start Ted Ray’s exciting new delivery style (5) 25 A hat! Let it stand, boy! (7)

Down 1 Imagine guests who’ve lost their shirt (5) 2 Panic from Bengal Army’s ranks (5) 3 Sal gave excited rescue (7) 4 Spit us out for a form of exercise (3-3) 5 Pious person isn’t a problem (5) 6 The record electric current, to me, is a prime example (7) 7 Its diet is erratic when most well-ordered (7) 12 Driver’s compartment is the scene of a fight (7) 13 Surprisingly tautest act (7) 15 So Bruce is, strangely, difficult to find (7) 16 Constellation circling edge of Sun emerges (6) 18 Overeating from meagre edible bean (5) 20 Moans about fishes (5) 21 Girl states between directions (5)

STANDARD CLUES

Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

Knee 2 letter words Lieu Do Parr Ta Pelt 3 letter words Plug Doc Poky Ego Rust Hut Sack Lie Saga Lip Scan One Soot Vat Span Vow Spar 4 letter words Spiv Adit Sure Auld Thee Calk Tile Doss Trio Elan Tsar Elbe Ulna Envy Urns Hela User Idle 5 letter words Ilea

Alias Audio Aware Beery Bogus Bones Chaps Child Edict Glade Hubby Inane Kopek Ladle Leone Nerds Radon Sally Solar Soppy Spend State Tepee

Togas Value Vanes Wages Waive 6 letter words Atones Caulks Census Greens Retake Scouse Settee Stakes 8 letter words Bearskin Entrails 9 letter words Insoluble Valueless

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

Across 1 Parcel (6) 4 Shriek (6) 9 Arm muscles (7) 10 Change (5) 11 Shinbone (5) 12 Severely simple (7) 13 Former home of British journalism (5,6) 18 Baseball score (4,3) 20 Bit (5) 22 Soiled appearance (5) 23 Scottish national emblem (7) 24 Slacken (6) 25 Harm (6)

Down 1 Dainty (6) 2 Go up (5) 3 Raise (7) 5 Pandemonium (5) 6 Outermost (7) 7 Amalgamation (6) 8 Murder of socially prominent person (11) 14 Lower backache (7) 15 Carbon copy (7) 16 Carving tool (6) 17 Remove (6) 19 Scope (5) 21 Minor actor (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Mistake, 5 Rapid, 8 Imagine, 9 Girls, 10 Throb, 11 Precise, 12 Lessen, 14 Bolted, 17 Breathe, 19 Tramp, 22 Taint, 23 Edifice, 24 Relay, 25 Suspend.

Down: 1 Moist, 2 Stair, 3 Amiable, 4 Exempt, 5 Rogue, 6 Persist, 7 Descend, 12 Lobster, 13 Special, 15 Obtains, 16 Recess, 18 Tatty, 20 Abide, 21 Plead.

Scribble Pad

1 Estimate (5) 1 Drinking vessels (7) 2 Fright (5) 5 Bed linen (5) 3 Save (7) 8 Shoulder piece (7) 4 Exercises (3-3) 9 Epic poem (5) 5 Holy man (5) 10 Brazilian dance (5) 6 Personification (7) 11 Explore natural caves 7 Most neat (7) (7) 12 Pilot’s compartment (7) 12 Seller of fruit (6) 13 Written law (7) 14 Woody ground (6) 15 Indistinct (7) 17 Warhorse (7) 16 Gets up (6) 19 Fires (5) 18 Avarice (5) 22 Dried plum (5) 20 Types of freshwater fish 23 Throws out in a jet (7) (5) 24 Tendency (5) 21 Girl’s name (5) 25 Cowboy hat (7) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Scar, 3 Portrays, 9 Etonian, 10 Barge, 11 Poems, 12 Tuscan, 14 Spells, 16 Paella, 19 Curate, 21 Tipsy, 24 Wring, 25 Igneous, 26 Sweetpea, 27 Loss.

Down: 1 Steepest, 2 Abode, 4 Ornate, 5 Tubas, 6 Air mail, 7 Stem, 8 Tinsel, 13 Calypsos, 15 Elusive, 17 Acting, 18 Deride, 20 Argot, 22 Photo, 23 Owns.

Across

Down

1 Centuries (6) 4 Amarillo (6) 9 Norwegian (7) 10 Attractive (f) (5) 11 Malvado (person, deed) (4) 12 Cuero (curtida) (7) 15 Lona (tejido) (6) 16 To feel (blow, pain, heat) (6) 19 Capitán (7) 21 Perros (4) 24 Monday (5) 25 Corner (outer) (7) 26 To scratch (making sound) (6) 27 Besos (6)

1 Frase (oración) (8) 2 Sparrow (7) 3 Obedecer (person) (4) 5 Dieciocho (8) 6 Key (door, car etc) (5) 7 Envolver (con papel o ropa) (4) 8 Young (not old) (5) 13 Ghost (8) 14 Cristales (8) 17 Theories (7) 18 Sidra (5) 20 Asses (donkeys) (5) 22 Flower (4) 23 Here (in this place) (4)

33

Friday, July 20, 2012 Across 1 Hello Little Girl and A Little Loving were both British top 10 hit singles for which pop group? (8) 7 Which hard grey-black mineral consisting of corundum and either hematite or magnetite is used as an abrasive, especially as a coating on paper? (5) 8 What was the surname of the author of the 17th century romance Don Quixote? (9) 9 What is the SI unit of electrical resistance, transmitting a current of one ampere when subjected to a potential difference of one volt? (3) 10 The name of which aromatic plant is also used to describe a profoundly wise man? (4) 11 What name is applied to an alternative route for use by traffic when the usual road is temporarily closed? (6) 13/16 By what name was the nun and missionary Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known? (6,6) 14 What name is given to a short stretch of railway track used to store rolling stock or enable trains on the same line to pass?

(6) 17 Irish, red and Gordon are all types of which large, longhaired breed of dog? (6) 18 Which 1975 Steven Spielberg film starring Robert Shaw, Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss, was based on a novel by Peter Benchley? (4) 20 Coal, blue, great and marsh are all types of which small songbird? (3) 22 What is the name of the sweet cordial made in France from pomegranates? (9) 23 What was the surname of the Norwegian composer, con-

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

ductor and violinist whose best known works include the Piano Concerto in A minor and the incidental music to Ibsen’s play Peer Gynt? (5) 24 Which German artist, a leader of the Dada movement, developed the techniques of collage, photomontage, and frot-

tage? (3,5) Down 1 Hocus Pocus and Sylvia were both British hit singles for which Dutch instrumental group? (5) 2 What type of piano has a vertical sounding board? (7) 3 Which alcoholic drink is made of fermented honey and water? (4) 4 Which long upholstered seat for more than one person, typically has a back and arms? (6) 5 Which singing voice between baritone and alto is the highest of the ordinary adult male range? (5) 6 Which state in the west central US was acquired as part of the Louisiana Purchase in 1803, and became the 44th state of the US in 1890? (7) 7 Tallinn is the capital of which Baltic country on the south coast of the Gulf of Finland? (7) 12 What name is often given to a fund of money put by as a reserve? (4,3) 13 What is the name of the process or technique of selecting, editing, and piecing together separate sections of film to form a continuous whole? (7) 15 Arrivederci means ‘goodbye’ in which language? (7) 16 See 13 Across 17 Gertrude who was the American author of The Autobiography of Alice B Toklas, first published in 1933? (5) 19 Which 70s glam-rock group consisted of Brian Connolly, Andy Scott, Steve Priest and Mick Tucker? (5) 21 A leveret is the name given to the young of which animal?

(4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Pronouns - pronombres Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

sports QUIZ

1. Roger Federer 2. The Epsom Derby 3. False (New Pair Every Game) 4. 300 Points 5. Belgium 6. Henry Cooper 7.

Three 8. Rupert Murdoch 9. Prince 10. The Barcelona Dragons 11. Widnes

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1/9 Peter Shilton, 4 Sailor, 10 Scald, 11 Lisp, 12 Terence, 13 SOS, 14 Ugly, 16 Aida, 18 Ton, 20 Average, 21 Spit, 24 Imago, 25 Aquavit, 26 Graces, 27 Attic.

Down: 1 Pestle, 2 Twigs, 3 Ruth, 5 Austrian, 6 Learned, 7 Red Sea, 8 Knots, 13 Sycamore, 15 Grenada, 17 Rating, 18 Texas, 19 Static, 22 Pivot, 23 Cuba.

estos

alguien

mucho

algunos

nada

aquel

nadie

aquellos

ningunos

bastante

otro

cada

poco

esto

todo

Empareja estas palabras – Match these Spanish and English words for word suffixes.

You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.alguien, 2.nadie, 3.algo,

k.no one, l.these,

16.aquellos.

m.a Little, n.none,

4.nada, 5.todo, 6.poco, 7.mucho, 8.bastante,

a.nothing, b.those,

o.a lot,

9.otro, 10.cada,

c.enough/quite, d.this,

p.anyone/someone

11.algunos,

e.something, f.that,

12.ningunos, 13.esto,

g.other, h.each,

14.estos, 15.aquel,

i.everything, j.some,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1p, 2k, 3e, 4a, 5i, 6m, 7o, 8c, 9g, 10h, 11j, 12n, 13d, 14l, 15f, 16b.

1. Who Did Rafael Nadal Beat In The Final When He Bagged His First Ever Wimbledon Title?

2. What Was Won In June 2002 By High Chaparral?

3. True Or False Arsenal & England Goal Keeper David Seaman Wore The Same Pair Of Gloves For Every International Game He Pl 4. What Is The Maximum Score Possible In A Game Of Ten Pin Bowling?

5. From Which Country Do The Soccer Team Anderlecht Hail?

6. Which Former Heavy Weight Boxing Champion Has An Identical Twin Brother Called George?

7. In Billiards, How Many Points Are Awarded For Potting The Red? 8. Which tycoon failed to buy Manchester United in 1998?

9. What Title Provides The Nickname Of The Boxer Naseem Hamed?

10. Which Spanish Club Has The Last Name Of Dragons?

11. Which English Rugby League Team Are Known As The Chemics?

algo

Fill It In

34

Friday, July 20, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY I hold my head in shame for two weeks on the trot as ITV’s Superstar on ITV1 has again proved me wrong.

I thought the live shows wouldn’t work with Amanda Holden hosting, but she’s been good, though I wonder what would happen if the autocue failed. Also, Dawn French has been fun as a judge with some decent comments, though I’d have liked a sharper commentator from the old BBC days of the format, like John Barrowman or Screening it over four Denise Van Outen. weekends would have been But it has been entertain- better, and would have kept a ing, though to have prime- lot more of the audience time live shows running over interest, with some pretty disvirtually nine successive appointing viewing figures nights has proved to be being logged back in the UK. Horatio Caine and his excessive with us watching sunglasses are back on the same singers over and CSI Miami on Channel Five over again.

with ALEX TRELINSKI

q

Superstar puts me to super shame!

tomorrow night. I love his one-liners, and especially his regular closing sanctimonious claptrap as we fade to black and the closing captions. Sadly, it’s the last series after ten years, as the CBS Network chose to keep the New York franchise going as opposed to the more expensive Florida version. A shame though, as I’ll miss the absolutely ridiculous story lines with the great sunshine shots.

The season opener is typical, with a load of emotional bunkum inspiring a wounded Horatio to help rescue a trapped colleague under the water. Just enjoy it with a snigger and a glass of wine.

Some of the loopy CSI Miami plots would pale into insignificance compared to the BBC1 mini-series, Blackout, which finished on Monday. It may have only been three episodes long, but it was as if they were try-

q

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 Geeks and nerds - one big smelly bunch of cyber-crimes waiting to happen.

And you're next on their list. You will feel an overwhelming desire to kiss everyone in sight today. You must decide how to continue. Whilst we are not all superhuman, some of us are at least able to go to sleep without peeing ourselves in the night.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Remember, it's unfair to expect your friends and family to provide you with alibis. Many of your emotions have been plagiarised by others who have no idea how you feel. NO IDEA I TELLS YA! A hairy back may trouble you this week, especially if it's not your hairy back that's in question.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 You are not a sham, nor are you a mockery. You are you. Lots of love. Pah! Happiness? The Gods know not of this word and you will pay for your insubordination. You're doing really well, keep it up!

Your tendancies may land you in trouble today. Speeling mestakes are'nt god.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 You can't go wrong today - everything is set up for brilliance. If some things start to appear impossible, it may be time to invent robots. Speaking of which - you do look amazing today! When faced with a lifetime of trauma, please remember what your mother always told you. Everything will suddenly sound good to you today.

ing to cram a dozen instalments into 360 minutes, with a story that went way beyond any credibility.

After a decent opening hour, the rest of it went out of control, with the usual clichés of a grim northern city; corrupt councillors; a drunk guy who’s elected Mayor literally overnight; suspicious cops, etc, etc.

It was a waste of a good cast, and a surprisingly muddled effort from Red Productions, who normally deliver excellent television.

I love a good TV mystery, so can anybody please tell me what’s happened to the primetime repeats on BBC1 of Call the Midwife, which disappeared a month ago, halfway through the series? Some kind of mention of their fate would have been nice.

I don’t do that much channel-hopping these days, but once in a while it

q

q

can offer you a surprise. Take the recent Monday night when I landed on a show called Food Factory on BBC1. Presented by “foodie” Stefan Gates, we look at how food is manufactured in a basic form with the help of some B-list celebrities in a little bit of a competition. It’s enjoyable and very informative, and in the last two weeks I’ve learnt a lot about wheat biscuits and ice lollies.

I know that I’m pretty late to the party as this is the third series, but better late than never, and the show is worthy of a slot where it doesn‘t have to compete against Coronation Street.

Sky One have spent lots of money on their new adventure series, Sinbad and it looks great. The location shots in Malta are perfect and they’ve cast a likeable new guy, Elliot Knight (fresh from drama school), in

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the lead role. The script could be better, but it’s good popcorn entertainment and a welcome change to all the gritty stuff we get with TV drama these days.

Big Brother couldn’t even manage one million viewers for some of its shows over the last week for Channel Five. I’m frankly stunned beyond belief that many people back in Britain are still interested!

I can’t wait for the final episode of Line of Duty this Tuesday night on BBC2.

Besides Lennie James being fantastic in the lead role of Gates, it’s been fascinating to see Neil Morrissey in a role light years away from Men Behaving Badly, Boon and Bob the Builder! Couldn’t he have fixed this to go out on BBC1 as opposed to Blackout?

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By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 The accuracy of any horoscope today will be directly related to the number of things you do today. A skydiving accident may befall you if you go skydiving.

Alternatively, it may not. The chances are that staying at home and doing the same things as every other day will not harm your chances of having a good day.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 The future holds much joy and happiness for someone close to you. But not you. Oh no, you're screwed. A tasty beverage will be coming your way today something to look forward to. In other countries, how you'll feel about this afternoon could get you arrested and shot... at dawn, without a blindfold, and with a stinging sensation in the groin.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Everything you've ever felt about anything will be tested today during some troubling moment in which you'll learn something about anything or everything.

In all my time I've never had anyone like you reading my horoscopes - you are bedevilled, a hustler of reputation. You are not wanted here.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Any film you watch over the coming weekend will stay with you forever. Please ensure the film is not Tomb Raider. The thought of you losing your mind is making you lose your mind. If you ever get out of that hole, the chances are that you're still going to be a neurotic plague of badness.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Today's mishaps will come in the shape of a toad, whilst salvation will come in the shape of a large truck. There's a future in toad-jam, by the way, if you're at all interested. It tastes lousy but makes a really good insect repellent. This horoscope does not afftect your statutory rights. You will win large compensation in a court case this month.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Knowing your hand span may become useful over the coming days, although the mystics will not give me any information as to how or why. To avoid embarrassment, please avoid wearing underwear on incorrect areas of the body. Walk without shoes for a day and you will soon understand the nature of the soul.

Geddit!

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 This week will go well, except for the bits that don't. And not only will those bits go badly, but they'll go BADLY. You have achieved what most of us only dream about - you are a star. As accurate as the weather report might be, you must be careful to avoid the 3011 bus. Good fortune is raining down on everyone but yourself today.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 People will today start to resent your annoying habit of repeating the last funny thing said and then laughing. Tensions could rise over coming days when someone close to you opens your mail and then puts it in a drawer without telling you. "For Topical Application Only" - words which might cause you grave concern over the coming days

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The Courier Friday TV 00:45 This Week 01:30 Holiday Weatherview 01:35 Panorama 02:05 Countryfile 03:05 Antiques Roadshow 04:05 Great British Menu 05:05 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 You've Been Scammed 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Flog It! 16:45 Match of the Day Live 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Match of the Day Live 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow

00:20 01:20 01:50 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30

Engineering Giants The Culture Show HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report

03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Schools: Seeking Refuge 05:20 Schools: Your Paintings 05:50 Schools: Your Paintings 06:20 Schools - The Charles Dickens Show: Workhouse 06:40 Schools - The Charles Dickens Show: Child Labour 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Dirtgirlworld 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 Stuck on Sheep Mountain 08:55 League of Super Evil 09:10 Frankenstein's Cat 09:20 Pet Squad 09:30 Nina and the Neurons 09:45 Big & Small 10:00 Live Golf: The Open Championship 21:00 RHS Flower Show Tatton Park 2012 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 The Great British Story: A People's History 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:10 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 01:05 Jackpot247 01:05 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Golden Balls 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Drive to Buy 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 A Touch of Frost 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Britain's Secret Treasures 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Superstar 23:30 ITV News and Weather

PHIL SPENCER: SECRET AGENT The expert embarks on another mission to help get Britain's property market moving again. Phil has one week to find buyers for a pair of pricey properties in Glasgow's suburbs. In Giffnock, he meets Dougie, whose three-bedroom home has one of Scotland's best state schools on its doorstep, while in Uddingston, Pamela and Ian's five-bedroom cottage is struggling to stand out.

00:05 Gordon Behind Bars 01:05 Random Acts 01:10 Undercover Boss 02:10 Show Me Your Money 03:10 Dispatches 03:40 Time Team 04:35 Ancient Egyptians 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 11:00 Relocation, Relocation 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Channel 4 Presents 13:10 Jamie's 30 Minute Meals 13:40 Gok Cooks Chinese 14:10 Heaven Knows, Mr Allison 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:35 The Angelos Epithemiou Show

July 20

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Igam Ogam 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:20 McBride: Anybody Here Murder Marty?

18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Bachelor

36

The Courier Saturday TV

July 21

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 White Van Man 01:00 EastEnders 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 Britain's Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 03:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 04:15 Great British Menu 05:15 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Live Golf: The Open Championship 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:10 Live Golf: The Open Championship 19:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:30 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 21:25 The National Lottery: Secret Fortune 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Mrs Brown's Boys

00:00 00:45 00:50 02:45 03:00 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45

The Review Show Weather Jindabyne Click BBC News The Record Review BBC News Click Newswatch

05:00 BBC News 05:15 Close 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Dirtgirlworld 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney's Barrier Reef 08:30 Project Parent 09:00 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:20 Dennis and Gnasher 09:30 The Slammer 10:00 Blue Peter 10:30 Incredible Edibles 11:00 My Genius Idea 11:30 Splatalot 12:00 Copycats 12:30 OOglies 12:35 Diddy Movies 12:45 MOTD Kickabout 13:05 Jubal 14:45 Show Me the Monet 15:30 Racing from Ascot 18:00 Formula One 19:10 Live Golf: The Open Championship 21:00 The Hollow Crown 23:15 QI 23:45 TOTP2

00:05 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:10 City Slickers 02:10 ITV News Headlines 03:45 Eyes Wide Shut 06:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Saturday Cookbook 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:20 The Real Housewives of New York City 13:15 ITV News and Weather 13:24 Meridian Weather 13:25 Escape to Victory 15:35 The Man with the Golden Gun 18:00 Meridian News and Weather 18:10 ITV News and Weather 18:25 Primeval 19:30 You've Been Framed!

20:30 The Cube 21:35 TV's Biggest Blockbusters 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:45 Mad Mad World

DATE NIGHT Comedy starring Tina Fey and Steve Carell. Married couple Phil and Claire Foster plan a visit to a swanky Manhattan restaurant, but on arrival discover it is fully booked. In a desperate effort to get a table they claim to be the Tripplehorns, a couple who haven't taken up their reservation. But the no-show diners have some shady acquaintances and Phil and Claire's little deception leads to a night of mayhem.

00:10 A Short History of Everything Else 00:40 New Girl 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 The Family Stone 03:00 Mesh 03:05 My Name Is Earl 03:30 My Name Is Earl 03:50 The Million Pound Drop Live 05:15 Love Tube 05:20 Deal or No Deal 06:15 Countdown 07:00 Channel 4 Presents 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 That Paralympic Show 08:00 British Formula Ford Championship 08:25 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Ibiza Rocks 10:10 The Dark Knight Rises: T4 Movie Special 10:40 New Girl 11:15 Revenge 12:15 Suburgatory 12:45 Summer Daze 13:20 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:20 The Simpsons 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Channel 4 Presents 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:05 4thought.tv 20:10 The Million Pound Drop Live 22:00 Date Night 23:45 Another 48 HRS

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Wildlife SOS 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Family!

08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Zoo Days 11:05 How Do They Do It? 11:35 Big Brother 12:35 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol 14:20 Adventures in Babysitting 16:15 Fly Away Home 18:20 Stone Cold 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 5 News Weekend 21:05 NCIS 22:10 Big Brother 23:10 CSI: Miami

37

The Courier Sunday TV

July 22

00:00 Live at the Apollo 00:45 Grosse Pointe Blank 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 Faster, Higher, Stronger 03:30 Usain Bolt: The Fastest Man Alive 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 British Olympic Dreams 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 BBC News 13:05 Bargain Hunt 13:35 Live Golf: The Open Championship 20:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:15 Countryfile 21:10 Casualty 22:00 Wallander 23:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:55 John Bishop's Britain

00:45 02:05 02:30 03:00 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:35

Kicks BBC News The Bottom Line BBC News Dateline London BBC News Our World Close

07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Dirtgirlworld 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney's Barrier Reef 08:30 Scoop 08:55 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:15 Dennis and Gnasher 09:30 Wingin' It 09:50 Shaun the Sheep 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 12:00 Live Golf: The Open Championship 13:35 Jack 15:25 Show Me the Monet 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:55 Flog It! 17:55 Songs of Praise 18:30 Formula One 20:00 Secrets of Our Living Planet 21:00 Engineering Giants 22:00 World's Most Dangerous Roads 23:00 Mock the Week - Again 23:30 Line of Duty

00:30 01:35 03:40 04:25 06:30 07:00 08:25 09:25 10:25 10:30 11:25 12:25 13:25 13:34 13:35 14:35 15:35 17:25 18:25 19:25 19:40 20:00 21:00 23:00 23:19 23:20

Take Me Out ITV News Headlines In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV Dinner Date ITV News House Gift There's No Taste Like Home The Hungry Sailors ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Dickinson's Real Deal Murder, She Wrote TV's Biggest Blockbusters Doc Martin The Chase Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather Britain's Secret Treasures Dancing on Ice Goes Gold ITV News at Ten and Weather Meridian Weather Bomber Command

DANCING ON ICE GOES GOLD Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley present a oneoff special in which Olympic medallists hope to demonstrate their ice-skating skills and impress the panel of judges, as well as viewers at home. Robin Cousins, Katarina Witt and Louie Spence reunite to deliver their verdicts on the routines as Colin Jackson, Olga Korbut, Tessa Sanderson, Pippa Wilson, Jamie Baulch, Steve Williams and Gail Emms take to the rink with professional partners, putting weeks of training with Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean into practice.

01:40 The Million Pound Drop Live 03:15 Gentlemen Broncos 04:45 St Elsewhere 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:05 Ironman Triathlon 07:15 Ironman Triathlon 07:40 Triathlon 08:05 The Great Swim Series 09:00 Will & Grace 09:25 Will & Grace 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 11:00 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Jamie Does 14:35 How to Cook Like Heston 15:05 The Big Bang Theory 15:30 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 The Simpsons 16:35 The Simpsons 17:05 Deal or No Deal 18:05 Channel 4 Presents 18:10 Channel 4 News 18:40 4thought.tv 18:45 Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Thelma's Gypsy Girls 23:00 Role Models

00:05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:05 SuperCasino 05:00 HouseBusters 05:25 Great Scientists 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 City of Friends 07:35 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:50 Castle Farm 07:55 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Family!

08:35 Noddy in Toyland 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Monkey Life 11:25 The Hotel Inspector 12:25 Big Brother 13:25 Krull 15:55 Clash of the Titans 18:15 Pocahontas 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 Once Upon a Time 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Blood Work

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The Courier Monday TV

July 23

00:40 Formula One 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 Faster, Higher, Stronger 03:15 Holby City 04:15 Britain's Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 05:15 BBC World News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 You've Been Scammed 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Roy 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Food Factory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport 22:00 EastEnders 22:30 Absolutely Fabulous 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Tom Daley: Diving for Britain

00:30 01:00 02:40 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:15 07:00

Twenty Twelve Sparkle British Olympic Dreams BBC World News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News Close The Pingu Show

07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Dirtgirlworld 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Deadly Top 10 08:30 Shaun the Sheep Championsheeps 08:55 League of Super Evil 09:05 Frankenstein's Cat 09:15 Pet Squad 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Big & Small 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Animal Park 13:00 The Saint in London 14:10 The Saint in Palm Springs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Show Me the Monet 16:45 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Coast 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 The Hairy Bakers 22:00 Horizon 23:00 QI 23:30 Weather

00:15 Premiership Rugby Sevens Series 01:15 ITV News Headlines 03:15 Golden Balls 04:05 Motorsport UK 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Drive to Buy 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 A Touch of Frost 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Superstar 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:45 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:50 Real Crime

UNDERCOVER BOSS Jacqui McIntosh, a former hairdresser who now manages a chain of salons, tries to discover if her business is ready to expand by secretly visiting some of its branches. She is taken aback when staff who don't feel trained to cut Afro-Caribbean hair turn her away, and encounters worrying attitudes among some workers but is also inspired by a gifted young stylist and a franchise owner who is passionate about creating wigs for

00:55 Internal Affairs 03:00 A Family Portrait 03:05 Camelot 04:00 Hollyoaks 06:10 Channel 4 Presents 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 Channel 4 Presents 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Gok Cooks Chinese 14:35 River Cottage Bites 14:40 Thunder over Arizona 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:25 Can You Trust Your Bank?

Jon Snow Presents 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Undercover Boss 23:00 Ruby Wax's Mad Confessions

01:00 World's Fastest Train 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Sons of Anarchy 05:50 County Secrets 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Igam Ogam 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Rosamunde Pilcher's Winter 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 Megastructures 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Walking Dead 23:55 The Woods

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The Courier Tuesday TV

July 24

00:25 Who Do You Think You Are? US 01:10 Women of Valor 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 Faster, Higher, Stronger 03:55 Victoria Pendleton: Cycling's Golden Girl 04:55 Britain's Heritage Heroes 05:25 BBC World News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 You've Been Scammed 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Turn Back Time - The Family 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine

00:20 World's Most Dangerous Roads 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 BBC World News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC World News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today

05:00 BBC World News 05:25 The Super League Show 06:10 Close 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Dirtgirlworld 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Deadly Top 10 08:30 Shaun the Sheep Championsheeps 08:55 League of Super Evil 09:05 Frankenstein's Cat 09:15 Pet Squad 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Big & Small 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Animal Park 13:00 The Saint in New York 14:05 The Saint Meets the Tiger 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Show Me the Monet 16:45 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Coast 21:00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 22:00 Line of Duty

00:50 In Plain Sight 01:40 ITV News Headlines 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Drive to Buy 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Trash to Treasure 21:00 Love Your Garden 22:00 Superstar 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:45 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:50 Green Street 23:00 Twenty Twelve 23:30 Weather

A LITTLE BIT OCD For years, comedian Jon Richardson has been driven by a quest for perfection, which has dictated everything from his eating habits to his ability to go on dates. People have said he has OCD, but he is not so sure. Here he gains an insight into the world of obsessive compulsive disorders, talking to some of the millions of sufferers in the UK and staff who treat patients with the most extreme form. He also chats about his own condition and meets one of the country's leading experts to find out once and for all whether he is simply a demanding perfectionist or if he has OCD.

00:05 A Running Jump 00:50 Random Acts 00:55 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 02:00 Channel 4 Presents 02:05 The Good Wife 03:30 The Big C 04:00 Southland 04:45 St Elsewhere 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 Channel 4 Presents 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Channel 4 Presents 13:10 A Place in the Sun 14:10 River Cottage 14:25 Winchester '73 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Beauty & the Beast: Ugly Face of Prejudice 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Jon Richardson: A Little Bit OCD

01:40 Forensic Files 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Wildlife SOS 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Igam Ogam 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Generation Gap 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 The Hotel Inspector 21:00 Half Built House 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Big Brother

40

The Courier Wednesday TV

July 25

00:50 An Unfinished Life 02:35 Weatherview 02:40 Faster, Higher, Stronger 03:40 The Culture Show 04:40 The Men Who Made Us Fat 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 You've Been Scammed 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 World Olympic Dreams 16:30 Olympics 2012 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Britain's Olympic Torch Story 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Bert and Dickie 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Have I Got Old News for You

00:20 00:45 01:05 01:30 02:00 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 05:40 07:00

What If The Swimmer BBC News HARDtalk Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News HARDtalk Close The Pingu Show

07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Deadly Top 10 08:30 Shaun the Sheep Championsheeps 08:55 League of Super Evil 09:05 Frankenstein's Cat 09:15 Pet Squad 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Big & Small 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Animal Park 13:00 The Saint Strikes Back 14:05 The Saint Takes Over 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Show Me the Monet 16:45 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Coast 21:00 Restoration Home 22:00 Leaving Amish Paradise 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Weather

01:50 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Golden Balls 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Britain's Greatest Gold Medallists 22:00 Superstar 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:45 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:50 A Clockwork Orange

00:05 Thelma's Gypsy Girls 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Bank of Dave 02:10 The Great Swim Series 03:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:30 Sailing 04:00 FIVB Beach Volleyball 04:55 Triathlon 05:20 Ironman Triathlon 05:50 The Grid 06:20 British Formula Ford Championship 06:45 Channel 4 Presents 06:50 FIM World Superbikes 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Will & Grace 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 14:25 The Black Knight 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 SuperScrimpers 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 World's Maddest Job Interview

WORLD’S MADDEST JOB INTERVIEW Eight volunteers, some of whom have significant psychological disorders, face a series of tests to assess their abilities in fields including leadership and teamwork. Business experts Claude Littner, Elaine Holt and Austin Gayer monitor their performance to determine how employable they are, but are not aware of their personal histories - and must therefore judge them solely on their results.

TKO FM - WEEKLY POWER PLAY Maroon 5 - One More Night This is the second single from the band’s new album “Overexposed”. This single follows the number 1 single “Payphone”. The video to One More Night was produced by Peter Berg who also directed Friday Night Lights (The film and the TV show), the films Hancock and Battleship. The album is out now.

TKO GOLD - FUTURE GOLD TRACK TKO GOLD Barry Manilow Everything’s Gonna Be Alright Grammy, Tony and Emmy Awardwinning recording artist Barry Manilow released ‘15 Minutes’ last June when it debuted on the UK Top 40 at number 20. Produced by Manilow and Michael Lloyd, it features all original compositions for which Barry teamed up with lyricist Enoch Anderson.

Watch Out The TKO Roadshow Is About!! at Join the TKO roadshow .

Jolly’s Bar in Quesada day They are holding a fun , in this Sunday, 22nd July n aid of the AECC. The fu re day starts at 10am, the free will be table top sales, ance prize bingo, quizzes, d troops and TKO will be from entertaining everyone 2pm till 8pm.

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Banged Up Abroad 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Igam Ogam 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ultimate Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Ties That Bind 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 21:00 Britain's Strangest Pets 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Big Brother

Let’s see if you can win yourself a meal for two and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ July 21st Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz!

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word, listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm.

1. Nut Rocker was a hit for this group for the first time in 1962.

2. What record label did Elvis join from Sun. 3. This Neil joined David..Stephen & Graham to form this super group.

4. Tell Me When was a 1964 hit for this Brummie group.

5. Fatboy Slims real name.

6. Small Faces only UK number one.

7. DiMucci is this singers surname what is his first name also his stage name.

8. This Scandinavian group started life as Spider Empire.

9. Bern Elliot had a 1963 UK hit with a cover of a soul classic.

10. Ana Matronic is a member of which cool trendy group.

41

The Courier Thursday TV

July 26

00:15 National Lottery Update 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 Britain's Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 03:15 Fake Britain 04:00 Britain's Heritage Heroes 04:30 Food Factory 05:00 BBC World News 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 You've Been Scammed 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Who Let the Dogs Out? 16:30 Hacker Time 17:00 12 Again 17:30 My Life 18:00 Olympics 2012 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 Olympics 2012 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Absolutely Fabulous

00:20 The Odyssey 00:50 The Bridges That Built London with Dan Cruickshank 01:50 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 BBC World News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC World News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today

05:00 Close 07:00 The Pingu Show 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Timmy Time 07:35 Dirtgirlworld 07:35 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Deadly Top 10 08:30 Shaun the Sheep Championsheeps 08:55 League of Super Evil 09:05 Frankenstein's Cat 09:15 Pet Squad 09:30 Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 09:45 Big & Small 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:10 Little Charley Bear 10:20 Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 10:30 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 10:55 Dipdap 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Animal Park 13:00 The Saint's Vacation 14:00 To Buy or Not to Buy 14:45 Show Me the Monet 15:30 Olympics 2012 20:00 Coast 21:00 Natural World 22:00 The Night Watch 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

02:20 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Analyze This 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Big Sports Quiz - Boys v Girls 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Talent Show Story

BORN TO KILL New series. Psychologists and criminology experts analyse the personalities of some of the world's most infamous murderers, beginning with serial killer Fred West, who was charged with 12 murders in 1994 after police discovered the remains of nine bodies at his home in Gloucester. Though he committed suicide before he could be tried for the crimes, his wife Rosemary was convicted of killing 10 women and girls in November 1995

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 The Killing 01:05 Summer Daze 01:40 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:55 Ibiza Rocks 02:10 4Play 02:30 Clement Marfo and the Frontline: Intro 02:40 The Album Chart Show 02:55 Southland 03:35 The Lobster Club 03:45 Barefoot in the Park 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Countdown 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Will & Grace 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Channel 4 Presents 14:10 First Men in the Moon 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Churchills 22:00 Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder: The Big Clear Out 23:00 World's Maddest Job Interview

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Poker: The Big Game 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Castle Farm 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Igam Ogam 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ultimate Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 A Stranger's Heart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Half Built House 21:00 Born to Kill 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 Big Brother

42

Friday, July 20, 2012

ACCOUNTANTS Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – accountancy, taxes, payroll services and more. We cater for companies and individuals.

Established in 1984 on the Costa Blanca. Call us on 966 923 963 for your first consultation free of charge.

ALARMS

Sailing RYA Training Centre, Competent Crew to Yachtmaster, VHF & ICC. Own-boat tuition on sail and power. If you have a yacht or powerboat get qualified and certified. Contact Richard 0034 638 056 224 / enquiries@serenitysailing.co m / www.serenitysailing. com

CHURCH SERVICES

BOATING LICENSES ARE NOW A LEGAL REQUIREMENT IN SPAIN Serenity

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer. Home groups meet during the week.

All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar ChristianCommunity

ANN SUMMERS

BOUTIQUE

AUCTIONS

BLINDS

AIR CONDITIONING

AUTO ELECTRICIAN

ADT Authorised Distributor Fully fitted Alarm systems Approved by the Guardia Civil. Masterboard key pad with remote control. A wireless or fixed control handset. Two image movement detectors with microphones. Movement detector. Wall alarm with the ADT logo.GPRS / GSM Transmitter sim card for transmitting video and alarm signals. Sent to your mobile phone. All this for 149 € + iva.

Installed. Then 29€ a Month.

For professional advice and quotation Call 966 923 963 (76)

BOATS

Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606. Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Try Professional Business Support for your quick quote for car insurance. Excellent prices for expats, all policies available in English or German. We will call you back with a price. 966 923 963 Seat Ibiza 1.9 TDI (100 BHP) 2006 5 DR, 1 owner, 84,000 kms, FSH, alloys, climate, electric windows, remote central locking, front fogs, rear head restraint, tow pack, finished in beautiful light pearlescent blue 7450 euros 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Ford Focus 1.5 auto tiptronic 2005, facelift model, 1 owner 68,000 kms FSH, fully equipped with air con, Cruise control, CD multi airbag, rear luggage cover, rear head restraint, alloys, silver 7,450 euros 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Looking for a car? We have a good selection of LHD & RHD vehicles for sale or exchange Tel 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

Ford Fiesta 1.4 Trend 2003, 2 owners, 66,000 kms, FSH, aircon, front fogs, read head restraints, rear luggage cover silver 4,250 euros 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Renault Megan Gran Scenic 7 seater, June 2011 latest model, 1.6 dci 6 spd, dynamque, 1 owner, 21,000 kms, fully serviced, cruise control, front fogs, cd, rear picnic table, rear light sensors, ISOFIX stunning condition, pearlescent white with half leather, Cost 25,000 euros new - 18,950 euros with manufacturers warranty 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Kia Carens 2.0 crdi AUTO 2005, 2 owners, 116,000 kms FSH, air con, alloys, fully equipped, front fogs, electric windows/mirrors, rear head rest, rear luggage cover, roof rails CD cassette radio metallic silver, 7950 euros 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Going home? returning to the UK we have a good selection of RHD cars, estates, 4 x 4 and vans all MOT and taxed for sale or exchange Tel Frank 600 726 221 / 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com

BARBER

INSURANCE For all your insurance needs, ie.home, car, health, funeral, travel, etc Excellent cover from Spain´s 5th biggest insurance company, “CASER”. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from a real person/our friendly staff.

MEDICAL Make the most of private health care and private hospitals, we have great cover and a two tier pricing system to suit your age and pocket. All policies in English, many English speaking doctors or free translators at your service. Call us now on 966 923 963, and we will call you back with your quote. Caser Health Care .

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed/2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 300 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 636615716. (77) 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms fully furnished villa to let on a small urb €500 per month plus bills.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills.

Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CARPENTER AIRPORT COLLECTION

Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata. Close to all amenities and beach.

3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar.

Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

COMPUTERS ALARMS

BOARDING KENNELS

CLEANERS

43

Friday, July 20, 2012 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars.

Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Excellent cover for your house and home, includes travel assistance for when you go

DRAINAGE

away. Interesting prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote We urgently require properties for sale or rent in Orihuela Costa & surrounding areas for waiting clients. Please contact Sitara Properties on 966723437 or 636615716.

(77) Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant. Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627

DOG GROOMING

ELECTRICIAN

DOORS

711 155 for immediate viewing Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property

DENTIST

with roof- top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course. Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens.

Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities.

Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price.

Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis

courts and football courts.

Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked. Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor work- shop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242

FAST BROADBAND

INTERIOR DESIGN

ENERGY SAVER

DAMP PROOFING

ELECTRICIAN

FISHING

HEATING

HAIRDRESSERS

INK

44

Friday, July 20, 2012

Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste.

The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired

LOCKSMITH

central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external

access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceiling fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk-in shower, fitted wardrobes. Decorative tiling inside and out. Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, established gardens, water features and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods.

Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts.

Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000

PAINTER

LAUNDERETTE

priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc.

The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach.

It has a good size lounge,

kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €70,000. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965

707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca. There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

NEWS AGENTS

SURVEYS

TELEVISION

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242

PAVING

PAINTER

POOLS

PERSONAL

MOSQIUITO SCREENS KENNELS

PETS

MASSAGE

PLUMBERS

MOBILE CAR REPAIRS

POOL TABLES

PLASTERER

45

Friday, July 20, 2012 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 532: 3 Bedroom Detached villa Located on the edge of a small Spanish vil-

REMOVALS

lage with 3,800 sqm of landscaped gardens, Private Pool, Bargain €180,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale.

Briefly comprising of: 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent

Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242

Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new

kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gardens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium.

Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and

RAG AND BONE MAN

on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant.

Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155

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46

Friday, July 20, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

He had wit and grit, but Flit’s golf was pure sh** IT’S the 141st Open Championship weekend and already Tiger is on the moaning prowl. He believes the Royal Lytham rough is the toughest he has ever faced...

"It's just that you can't get out of it. That bottom six inches, in some places is almost unplayable," he said."I've never seen the rough this high or thick and dense."

Does he realise that this is a Links course basically as nature intended and not one of the American tricked-up courses?

But there are golfers who would relish the idea of playing on a Links course and in particular The Open. One such hopeful was Maurice Flitcroft, who dreamed of playing in the coveted tournament.

When Flitcroft and his wife Jean acquired their first colour TV in 1974, he was immediately transfixed by the gentle swings of the players and the little white balls that plopped so softly onto the green.

It all looked so effortless: a painless route to fame and fortune. So, buoyed by dreams of becoming the next Jack Nicklaus, Flitcroft sent off for a mail-order set of clubs and balls. There was no time to waste. When the balls arrived a week ahead of the clubs, he turned his mother-in-law’s walking stick upside-down to practise putting into coffee cups.

Two years later, in 1976, a brand-new ‘champion’ gate crashed his way into the annals of British golf. For Maurice Gerald Flitcroft - otherwise employed as a crane driver at Vickers shipyard in Barrow-in-Furness - became world renowned by clocking up the highest ever score in the 116-

TITTER ON THE TEE An American making his first visit to Scotland to play St Andrews booked his tee time and a caddie for the following day.

The day came and it was pouring down, windy and the rain was like stair rods. His caddie was one of the old school, a Scot who had been doing the job for years.

Off they went and the American had with him a bottle of Malt whisky. After every shot he had a swig - not offering any to his long-serving caddie.

The rain lashed and the wind blew and by the time they got to the 18th they were saturated to the bone.

The soaked American muttered: : “For goodness sake, is there not a dry spot on the goddam course!”

The caddie replied in his broad Scots accent: “Aye lad, the back o’ me throat”

year history of the Open.

When he strode towards the first tee on an unseasonably hot English morning to begin his qualifying round for the 1976 title, few of the dozen or so spectators politely applauding the strangely-attired man believed they were about to witness history.

After all, the supposedly professional golfer -- sporting plastic shoes, a fishing hat, false teeth and a set of cheap mail-order clubs -- hardly looked like a world-beater.

Afterwards, upon being informed of this feat, his ageing mother asked: ‘Does that mean he’s won?’ A reporter gently explained that the whole point of the game is to achieve a low score. ‘Ah well, they all have to start somewhere,’ said Mrs Flitcroft.

In retrospect, Flitcroft’s score of 121, 49 over par - a record that still stands - was not surprising. When he entered the Open, he had never played a full round of golf. Club membership in Barrow-in-Furness was too expensive, so he’d practised at Sandy Gap on Walney Island Flitcroft had a dream. The chain-smoking crane driver wanted to win the Open. And, despite the fact that he was a terrible golfer, he really believed that if he practised hard enough, and had a fair wind following him (and wheelbarrow loads of luck), the Claret Jug would one day sit on his rather dusty and shabby mantelpiece, alongside the empty tins of Golden Virginia tobacco.

“Little did I dream that such a simple act as taking up a game would have a profound effect on my life,’’ he wrote in his memoirs. “I would become famous, headline news, hailed as a hero on one hand and ridiculed on the other.’’

His march towards the headlines began in the mid-70s, after he started learning to play with the help of books from the local library. In one of them, he found an address for the organisers of the Open - and his pulse quickened.

The championship was called the Open, Flitcroft concluded with impeccable logic, because it was open to anyone. But the entry form from the Royal & Ancient

Golf Club of St Andrews, which runs the annual tournament, stumped him. To enter as an amateur, he would have to submit a certificate showing he had a handicap of one or less.

But, luckily, professional golfers didn’t have to submit anything. Nor did they have to be ‘attached’ to a club.

Soon, confirmation arrived by post that Maurice G Flitcroft, 45-year-old virgin professional golfer (unattached), had been chosen to play at Formby Golf Club, near Liverpool, in one of the five qualifying tournaments on Friday, July 2, 1976.

Four months later, he arrived with minutes to spare and had to change from wellies to his tattered (plastic) golf-shoes in the car park. Red-faced under his blue fisherman’s hat, he scampered to the first tee just in time to hear his name being announced.

It was Flitcroft's fixation with the Open, which turned him into an icon, as well as one of the most eccentric golfers who has ever lived. He tried to enter the Open on six occasions. Each time, officialdom eventually caught up with him, but not before he had exasperated a few, and entertained a few more.

The Royal & Ancient saw him as public enemy number one (they even employed a hand-writing expert to try to ensure Maurice didn't slip through their nets).

In later years he would re-invent himself, give himself false names (and sometimes even a false moustache and a funny hat). He appeared on Breakfast TV with Nick Owen and Anne Diamond. Indeed, he was so famous, mail posted to "Maurice Flitcroft, Golfer, England" would regularly reach him at home in Barrow.

His disguises had to get ever more sophisticated; in order to escape the searchlights of the R&A. In 1978 and 1981 he entered as Gene Pacecki. (Ian Wooldridge, the famous sports columnist on the Daily Mail had written a piece about Maurice, stating that he was 'a long way from making his first pay cheque; so Maurice's irrepressible humour kicked in.)

In 1983, he posed as a Swiss professional called Gerald Hoppy and in 1990, entered as a French pro who would only speak a little English, called James Beau Jolley; (after his son James and his dog called Beau Jolley (he thought his golf was as good as a fine wine).

Maurice eventually died five years ago, having suffered from emphysema and an aneurism.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK IT is said in parts of Africa that a man does not know his wife until he marries her. This is also true in Europe, and in Asia, and in America, and in Torrevieja….

Friday, July 20, 2012

47

BULGAR OFF, FERGIE! SIR Alex Ferguson should be sacked over his handling of Dimitar Berbatov.

If it is true that Manchester United, despite being hundreds of millions in debt thanks to the Glazers' audacious takeover tactics, are prepared to sell for £5m a player they paid over £30m for, that's just laughing in the faces of their already very irate fans.

OK, Berbatov is 31 so he has limited shelf life as a striker. And even if £5m is deemed adequate for him now, it's the waste of such a huge talent that brings into question the man-management skills of the world's greatest manager in terms of trophies won.

Granted, Berbatov paid off a huge chunk of that transfer fee when he finished joint leading Premier League goalscorer alongside that other massive misfit, Carlos Tevez,

the season before last. But United and Fergie have consistently failed to get the best out of Berbatov.

Now it is very difficult for anyone other than a trained psychologist or psychiatrist to change an individual's personality. Fergie gained a reputation for the way he handled young, burgeoning talent, notably Ryan Giggs and the other members of that awesome youth team from the early 90s.

But maybe that is simply because he is a bully.

Youngsters succumb far more easily to those tactics. Talented, grown men like Jaap Stam, Roy Keane and now Berbatov don't.

Granted Berbatov appears to be a very moody individual, but he is hugely talented and, played the right way, I am convinced would have helped United to even more glory.

I always saw him playing just behind the front two where he could use his cre-

United boss deserves axe for Berbatov waste ative, passing skills and huge football brain to its best advantage. He's not an out and out goalscorer like Javier Hernandez, Wayne Rooney, Danny Wellbeck or even Michael Owen but his vision is awesome and he would have contributed not a few goals as well, as was proven in that 2010-11 season.

Now it looks like his time at Manchester United is over and I bitterly regret not having seen the best of him after being gobsmacked by one performance I witnessed live at Wigan just before United moved in for him.

I wish him well, but it's going to take a stupendous move in the transfer market and some improvement in those man-management skills, Fergie, to atone for perhaps the biggest mistake over a player in your career.

Liverpool look to be heading for similar problems with

Andy Carroll. At £35m he was a massive gamble and now they face having to take a big drop as Brendan Rodgers, the new Anfield boss, has made it plain Carroll does not fit in with his plans.

It's a big season, too, for Fernando Torres at Chelsea. If he is to stay there he HAS to start paying off regularly that massive £50m fee Chelsea paid Liverpool and which triggered the outlay on Carroll.

Newcastle, the club Carroll was bought from, appear to be the only winners in all this. If he does go back, it will be at a cut-price fee and there will only be room for him if the Geordies sell either Demba Ba or Papiss Cisse, raking in yet more millions on top of that £35m they received for Carroll.

His football shirts might be cheap, but Newcastle owner Mike Ashley certainly knows how to make the BIG money moves, too!

Wimbledon to NADAL WITHDRAWS go back a week FROM OLYMPICS

WIMBLEDON is to be put back one week from 2015.

The decision will mean there will be a three-week gap between the French Open and Wimbledon. Currently there is just a two-week period between the two Grand Slam tournaments.

Long discussed but until

now never implemented, the move will create a longer grasscourt season and require a revamping of other aspects of the tennis calendar.

Announcing the decision, Philip Brook, chairman of the All England Club, said: "The best interests of tennis will be served by allowing the players more time to recuperate and to adjust from the clay of Roland Garros to the grass at Wimbledon.

"All our research indicates that there is widespread support within the game for extending the gap between the French Open and Wimbledon and, importantly, we think most players

will welcome the prospect of a longer grasscourt season and spending more time on the softer surface of grass.

"In making this change from 2015 we recognise that there will be some important consequences for the overall tennis calendar and enough time needs to be given to allow us all to plan accordingly.

"In anticipation of the work required, I would like to thank our colleagues for their enthusiasm and support for the vision of a tennis calendar that will better suit the needs of the modern-day sport."

Wimbledon 2015 will run from June 29 to July 12.

Defending Olympic champion Rafael Nadal has pulled out of London 2012, saying he is "not in condition" to compete. The 26-year-old is suffering from tendinitis of the knee and will be unable to defend the singles title he won in

Beijing in 2008. "I do not find myself in a condition to compete," he said. "It is one of the saddest moments of my career."

The Spanish 11-time Grand Slam winner was set to carry his nation's flag during the opening ceremony in London.

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Friday, July 13, 2012

DOOMED!

48

Why the Olympics is a recipe for disaster ARE the Olympics going to be the biggest unmitigated disaster known to man, woman, beast or alien?

Already security and ticketing problems are dominating the headlines and deflecting away from the real issue - the athletes.

There also seems to be a much bigger focus than necessary on the paraplegic elements of the Games rather than the main events for the able bodied.

Now while I applaud the achievements of the handicapped in reaching such heights despite their disadvantages, I hope the other competitors get the attention they deserve, too.

I am not the biggest fan of the Olympics as its original standing as the pinnacle of achievement for amateur athletes and other sportsmen and women has long been overshadowed by drug-taking, money and other professional aspects.

The inclusion of highly-paid professional footballers in most countries' squads for the Olympic football tournament has incurred the wrath of many -

STEVE BOTT reports

and quite rightly so. Indeed the focus on the Great Britain soccer squad has been over whether a multimillionaire has-been should have been selected.

David Beckham is going to be an ambassador for British sport for a long time to come but he and Lord Coe have been dominating the headlines prior to the Games and that for me goes totally against that original ethos - especially in Beckham's case.

The fuss over Dwain Chambers was also ridiculous. The man was banned for cheating. He took performance enhancing drugs and he received a lifetime ban. He should never have been allowed back and neither should any other person found guilty of similar sporting crimes in the past, now or the future.

While I understand the need for tight security of the highest order in this age of terrorist attacks and atrocities, our country's capacity for getting it wrong seems to have no bounds.

Not content in employing a private company that has been proven to be inadequate in their transportation and handling of prisoners, they have compounded the issue by giving security jobs to thousands of untrained students.

Maybe that's because they reckon a lot of terrorist cells exist in and around student, college and univer-

sity life and the new staff will be able to spot a suspected terrorist at ten paces. It begs the question, "Who searches the students?" in the first place.

The ticketing has been a fiasco from the outset with people being unable to purchase online, ridiculous restrictions being imposed, general unavailability and now, surprise, surprise, as the Games are almost upon us hundreds of thousands of tickets being suddenly released. The prices though are enough to put anybody off with, I believe, a ÂŁ40 minimum tag in existence.

If they halved that, they still wouldn't be able to attract spectators for the football, though - both the men’s and women's events. They face playing in front of half empty stadiums. That is maybe because there are a lot more people than they thought who object to the professionalism of it all and the fact that multimillionaire players are being selected ahead of the millions of top amateur players around the country and indeed the world.

I was going to say I hope everything passes off without a truly major incident, but quite frankly I don't care now. Whenever I think about the forthcoming London Olympics I just see DISASTER written all over it!