The Courier Week 95

Edition 95

www.thecourier.es

Friday, December 14, 2012

HUMOUR IN THE TEARS

By KEITH NICOL COSTA Blanca media teams united in tribute this week to Louise Clarke, who died from a mystery illness last Friday at the age of 38.

More than 350 people attended her funeral service on Tuesday – including family, friends, politicians, members of the British Consulate and every media outlet; print, radio and TV. The moving ceremony was tinged with humour and anecdotes about Louise’s life. Even while in hospital she quipped to her friends, alluding to her weight loss programme: “If I go into a coma, please don’t switch it off until I reach at least a size 12!”

Canon Terence Sampson, who officiated, talked about Louise’s life and her devotion to both her family and her job as a journalist. He remarked that it was so typical of Louise’s bubbly and fun-loving personality that she wanted to spread a little joy and happiness everywhere she went. On the other hand, she hated injustice and could be as hard as

Life was fun to the end for Louise

LOUISE: THE PRIDE AND THE PASSION

By HEIDI WARDMAN

HAPPY DAYS: Louise (left) and Heidi Wardman nails in fighting for the rights of the international community on the Costa Blanca.

Louise, originally from Stockport, once told friends: “I have a great husband, super kids, a fabulous job which I love, I live in the sun most of the time, and life is good.’

Life was good for Louise and she packed more into 38 short years than most. At the end of the ceremony, husband Lee, children Lily and Charlie, with family and friends, released 38 pink balloons into the night sky to celebrate each year of her

life. Louise had been in hospital for several weeks after collapsing. She was put into a medically induced coma so that doctors could conduct tests and try various treatments - but did not respond positively.

On Wednesday, a Glitter Ball was held at the Emerald Isle, la Florida as a celebration of Louise’s life.

Husband Lee had said that Lou would have wanted people to have fun if she passed away - and more than 250 came to support the family, who were entertained by Suzy G, Nick Gold,

Snowblind and Radio Torrevieja’s Davy Jones.

Lee asked everyone not to mourn Louise but to celebrate - and this everyone did, participating in the raffle and auctions to raise muchneeded funds for the family at this most difficult of times.

Louise’s legacy will live on. She touched the lives and hearts of thousands and she will never be forgotten.

All the staff at Radio Torrevieja and The Courier offer their sincere condolences to the Clarke family and wish them only the very best for their future.

LOUISE Clarke’s contribution to the media world was always given from the heart, and there is no question of the passion she gave to everything she put her hand to.

Louise, who passed away on December 7 at the age of 38, had been battling with an undiagnosed illness in the intensive care unit at Torrevieja Hospital for several weeks. She worked as a reporter for the RTN and during her years within the media fought many battles on behalf of Costa residents, paving the way towards increased freedom and equality for expats.

Through her appointment as Press Officer of Orihuela Costa Town hall, she also conveyed valuable information to expats living in the vicinity, who had felt alienated for many years prior to her intervention.

The huge attendance at her funeral, which took place in San Pedro del Pinatar on Tuesday, followed by a sell-out concert, “The Christmas Glitter Ball for Lou’, at The Emerald Isle in La Florida on Wednesday, are testimony to how much she was loved and will be sorely missed.

On a personal note, I was proud to work alongside Louise as a reporter for the South Costa Blanca for many years. During that time we became close friends as well as work colleagues, and shared lots of laughs and happy memories along the way.

Tributes posted on forums and Facebook pages also echo the thoughts of all.

My heart goes out to all of her family.

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

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Friday, December 14, 2012

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96 692 1003 679 096 309 965 99 66 66 E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Janine 616 332 178 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes Heidi Wardman John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

Photo by John Kinder at Rio Safari Park, Elche.

SHAMED MP MORAN STILL VISITING SPANISH HOME

MARGARET Moran, the former Labour MP who was judged too ill to be jailed for parliamentary expenses fraud, has continued to visit the Spanish holiday home she bought with her brother.

She last stayed in the idyllic three-bedroom restored farmhouse near Granada just a few weeks ago, according to a neighbour.

The property, which is in the foothills of the Sierra Nevadas and has its own swimming pool, is rented out to holidaymakers for £600 a week in peak season.

A jury concluded unanimously last month that Moran, 57, the former MP for Luton South, was culpable for more than 20 instances of fraud totalling £53,000.

Margaret Moran fiddled £53,000 in expenses, but will not go to jail However, she escaped a criminal record and will not be jailed after a judge ruled she was "not fit mentally to defend herself", having heard that she was suffering

from severe depression.

Moran and her brother John bought the holiday house in Spain for about £10,000 in 1996, and have been regular visitors when

not renting out the property, which boasts spectacular views across a gorge.

A neighbour said: "Her last visit was a few weeks ago. People round here

don't talk to her much because she put locals' noses out of joint by blocking access to their homes in a right-of-way row after she bought here. She keeps a low profile now on the rare occasions she Southwark Crown Court heard last month that Moran billed the taxpayer £22,500 in August 2008 to treat dry rot at her seaside home in Southampton, 100 miles from her constituency.

She also claimed fraudulent expenses for her onebedroom flat in Westminster and her constituency home in Luton, the court was told.

A decision on what will happen to her will be made at a later hearing, although it is expected that she will be placed under a supervision order.

Madrid swoops on Mubarak millions Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

SPANISH police say they have seized assets linked to former Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak worth some 28 million euros.

They took action after the new authorities in Cairo

made an international request to block the assets of 130 people associated with his rule.

Some €18.4m in financial products have been frozen in Spanish banks.

Other assets include properties in Madrid and Marbella, and seven luxury cars.

The two buildings in Madrid's wealthy Moraleja district are worth a combined €7m while the seven

Friday Partly cloudy High 17° Low 12° Chance of rain 7% Monday Partly cloudy High 19° Low 13° Chance of rain 8%

Tuesday Sunny High 18° Low 10° Chance of rain 0%

properties in Marbella are worth more than €3m.

"The assets could be the proceeds of crimes such as the embezzlement of public funds, corruption or the illegal enrichment committed

during his mandate," police said.

Mubarak was overthrown in February last year after nearly three weeks of mass unrest in which nearly 900 people died and more than 6,000 were injured.

He was jailed for life this summer for his role in ordering the killings.

Saturday Partly cloudy High 21° Low 12° Chance of rain 1%

Sunday Cloudy High 19° Low 12° Chance of rain 2%

Wednesday Cloudy High 19° Low 14° Chance of rain 18%

Thursday Sunny High 21° Lo 13° Chance of rain 2%

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Friday, December 14, 2012

'LOU WOULD HAVE WANTED PEOPLE TO HAVE FUN'

THIS WEEK IN BRIEF q

A Crevillente couple who survived a head-on collision in Granada were not told until three days later that their children, aged ten and one, had died. After a lorry ploughed into the family’s vehicle, the 27year-old driver was found to be over the blood-alcohol limit. The parents were taken to Granada’s main hospital, where they remain in intensive care. Psychologists and psychiatrists broke the news of their children’s death on Monday.

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VALENCIA education chiefs are to investigate complaints that the Nuestra Señora del Carmen school in Orihuela encouraged pupils to make a fascist salute during a school football match. The complaint was lodged by EUPV deputy Esther Lopez, regarding a mobile phone video showing a team of 12 boys lining up with one arm raised and the anthem of Franco playing in the background. The video has been watched by 5 000 people on the Internet.

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Wednesday’s celebration of the life of Louise Clarke was just what husband Lee said she would have wanted - full of fun. From left: Singer Nick Gold offers words of sympathy to Lee, Suzy G turns chairwoman as the cabaret hots up - and Lee puts on a brave face as he addresses family and friends

€710 LOCKSMITH STILL IN THE DOCK

THE 710-euro bill charged by a local locksmith for replacing a damaged lock continues to spark a backlash.

One firm reacted angrily to last week’s attempted justification of the charge by their under-fire rival.

Referring to the breakdown of the charges published in last week’s Courier, SAC Locksmiths wrote: ‘’We would like it known that it was not SAC Locksmiths that were involved and that these are not figures that we would charge.’’

They described the €710 bill as ‘’totally unacceptable’’ and insisted: “Our charges are normally between €50 - €80 depending on time of day and materials.

“Our most expensive lock would be €150, so access with this high security lock would be at most approximately €200 - and that is

including the lock itself.’’

UK-based locksmith Pete Oldham contacted us to say: “I’m a bit shocked at the €710 charged by the ‘unknown’ locksmith,

but this is unfortunately not a one-off story as I have heard of such cases in the UK where I practise.

“We do have strict guidelines on charging, but when you are called out at 2am in the pouring rain to let someone in, then prices can fluctuate - BUT not to a cost which is unfair to the customer.

“If the couple involved have the locksmith’s details they can make a complaint to his association (if he is legitimate, that is).’’

Meanwhile, the as yet unnamed ‘villain of the piece’ continues to insist his bill was fair. He said: “As far as I am concerned, I have more than justified the work carried out and an invoice presented.

“As for the other locksmith's response, he's trying to obtain work from a story full of lies.’’

TORREVIEJA Hospital has launched a Christmas campaign to collect food and toys for families in need through the festive period. The campaign will be coordinated with the Red Cross Torrevieja.

Donations of imperishable food , including pulses, preserves, pasta, rice or powdered milk, as well as toys in good condition, can be left in the Hospital reception area. .

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BRITISH Bank HSBC must pay the US government $1.900 million as a result of a money laundering investigation. HSBC was being investigated for almost four years for allegedly facilitating the transfer of millions of dollars to countries subject to international sanctions, such as Iran and Mexico. The agreed figure represents a record sum for such an infringement.

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THE Supreme Court has endorsed the right of unemployment benefit recipients to travel abroad for up to 90 days without losing their payments. It will, however, be suspended until they return to the country. The announcement follows an appeal by the Public Employment Service against a man who spent 21 days visiting his sick father in the Ukraine.

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THE National Police have arrested four people on suspicion of receiving stolen jewellery from across the country and reselling it on the black market in Valencia. Cops were alerted by a shopper who witnessed the “suspicious looking” people entering a city centre jewellery shop. On searching their bag, the police discovered 2.5 kilos of jewellery stolen during burglaries in Cordoba, Tenerife and Santander.

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EDUARDO Dolón has presented his candidacy as President of the Partido Popular (PP) in Orihuela.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012

DRUG MULE BUSTED

DISGUISED as detergent, hidden in reels of cotton or jars of mayonnaise, sewn into the double layer of a suitcase or ingested by a “mule”… The number of ways to try and smuggle drugs is endless.

But customs officers at Barcelona’s El Prat airport had never come across the ruse attempted by a 20-year-old Panamanian woman, who was arrested on Wednesday with two prosthetic breasts filled with more than a kilogram of cocaine.

During a routine search, police officers pulled the woman – who had arrived on a flight from Colombia – aside to search her luggage and person for drugs. The officer who conducted the search noticed that the woman had gauzes on the underside of her breasts. On remov-

ing them, it became apparent that the wounds had not healed. The woman claimed that she had recently undergone breast implant surgery.

Customs medical officers performed an X-ray and then transferred the woman to Bellvitge hospital. The implants, which were surgically removed, were found to contain 1,377 grams of cocaine. The drugs had already begun to enter the woman’s bloodstream.

This is the first time the Spanish police have come across this modus operandi, which presents great risks to the carrier.

In 2011, 407,000 drug seizures were made in Spain, with 17,276 arrests. Eight out of 10 detainees are male and 60 percent are Spanish nationals. Customs officers seized 1,400 kilos of drugs last year in Barcelona’s El Prat airport alone.

JET2.COM has already started selling tickets for next winter – with the number of flights on offer from San Javier airport to the UK increasing considerably. But there’s no news on what will happen if the new Corvera airport starts functioning, as planned, next summer.

There will be three flights a week to

Manchester and two to Leeds, increasing the number of passengers Jet2.com transports to Spain each winter by 33 per cent to 6,800.

The airline say that as British passengers like to book ahead, they are giving them the opportunity to do so a year in advance, therefore getting the best offer on prices.

THE Geminids shooting stars will give a great display today (Friday) which will be visible throughout Spain. This phenomenon is visible every Decemb er, but from

today it will be at its most impressive, with up to 120 shooting stars per hour.

The nights between the 12th and 15th will offer the best displays.

Fly Jet2 next winter – but where from?

DON’T MISS SPAIN’S SHOOTING STARS

THIS WEEK IN BRIEF q

The number of Russian nationals registered in Torrevieja (4,449) has surpassed that of Germany (4,096), for the first time ever. This makes Russians the second largest group of foreign residents within the city, behind the British, with 13 236 residents, according to data compiled in the Municipal Register this month. The volume of Russian nationals living in Torrevieja has multiplied since 2005, when there were only 2 372 registered, increasing to 4 013 in 2010. The total number of foreign residents amounts to 57 067, representing 53.4% of the population.

for alleged irregular contracts. The crimes were believed to have been committed during the International Tourism Fair by former Vice- President of the Valencian Community, Vicente Rambla and exTourism Councillors, Milagrosa Martínez and Angélica Such. The Judge considered that there is sufficient evidence to show that each one is guilty of passive bribery and manipulating contracts for personal gain. Two further parts of the Gürtel case remain open; one for an alleged crime relating to the regional and municipal elections of 2007 and the other for alleged illegal financing of the PP.

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House sales in Spain increased by 12.8% in October, compared to the same month in 2011. This equates to a total of 25 261 movements, of which 50.7% were performed on resale properties and 49.3% on new buildings, according to latest figures released by the National Statistics Institute (INE). This is the third recorded increase this year, with slight increases felt in August (3%) and September (0.9%). This positive trend comes after 17 months of decreases in sales across the property market.

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A Judge in the notorious “Gürtel” case has finally closed the open file

Employees of the Town Hall in Alicante are outraged, after receiving notification that they will not receive any Christmas bonus this year. The announcement was made by Mayor, Sonia Castedo, who initially ruled in favour of a 25% bonus, although this was apparently because she thought that they were legally entitled to it, and having consulted the technical conditions, which confirm that the authorities “do not have any legal obligation to make a bonus payment”, the cash incentive has been withdraw. This decision will save around one million euros for municipal coffers.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Toxic CAM pain left me in limbo

COULD you please spare some space for the many readers of your paper who were sold toxic savings products by CAM Bank and can no longer touch their savings - often amounting to many thousands of euros and having serious consequences for those involved.

We had a surplus in our current account, earning no interest, so I asked a bank employee here in Quesada if they had a savings product which was safe, and would give us easy access in the event of an emergency. He recommended CAM CUOTAS. I had been with the bank for more than 20 years, and trusted them.

A year or so later, when I needed some cash to replace my old car, I was told my savings had been reduced to zero. There was no explanation or communication from the bank about their actions. I made a formal complaint, and got a reply which in effect said that they were now Banco Sabadell, and since I had bought the product from the CAM , it was nothing to do with them, even though they were the new CAM owners.

I later found that pensioners and the financially unaware had been targeted to purchase this product. It involved over 50,000 CAM Bank. clients, both Spanish and expats of all nationali-

ties. Two years on, the account is still in limbo.

JACK, Quesada It may yet work out OK, Jack. My friend Graham Lilley invested in a CAM Bond, sold to him by a girl teller (which he says would not happen in the UK without being referred to a financial advisor). He was eventually offered the full amount invested in the form of shares in Sabadell and was promised 6% annual interest on the full value of his original investment providing he kept the shares for four years. He later sold those shares without losing any money. Can anyone offer Jack advice?

- EDITOR

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IBERDROLA THREATS NOTHING TO FEAR YOUR correspondent regarding the Iberdrola threat (Letters Page, Issue 94) states rightly that he received a letter from them regarding a possible cut of supply if their bill is not paid.

STERLING EFFORT, MR SILVER YOUR "Smile with Silver" column rarely fails to make me chortle and long may it continue. I was wondering whether those tall tales are based on true incidents and recollections and indeed whether such characters as Dave the Barman, Eric the Dentist, Daft Barry and the long-suffering Mrs S, are modelled on real people. And finally, can you assure me that Dave Silver actually exists?

IMOGEN A. SHONN, Catral Dave’s for real plays football for Spain too. Pity the press can’t spell his surname correctly.

- EDITOR

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This letter has been received by hundreds of Elecval clients and is another of their circulars which are sent out by their computer system. It refers to network access by third parties.

The bill has been paid by Elecval and there is no further action needed.

This is another example of the terrorist activities perpetrated by this company.

Several times this year I have received "bills" from Iberdrola for really weird amounts including one for one day’s supply.

Ignore the letter. The dispute is clearly one between companies which does not concern the user. If they threaten you further denounce them for threatening behaviour at your nearest Guardia Civil.

Trying to talk to their arrogant staff will achieve nothing.

BRIAN BOURDON, Orihuela Costa

HUNGRY AND HAPPY: The HAH volunteers at their Xmas Lunch

HAH’s care-istmas angels and willingness to help wherever needed, and always with a smile, means so much to everyone, and has earned the gratitude and respect of our clients, and the local community.

We would also like to thank our main Sponsors, SL Coachtrips, DFS, Bacchus restaurant and La Manga Graphics, along with so many local businesses who continue to support us.

Due to lack of resources, we will be taking a rest from MONDAY DECEMBER 24 until WEDNESDAY JANUARY 2 and with Iberswitch now is we had the ICP have made plans for existing fuse installed in August and are still clients only.

Please contact your waiting for it to be checked. Iberswitch GP/Medical centre/or local told us it will be done when Iberdrola hospital, or in an emergency think it is our turn. The trouble is, call 112.

Iberswitch has the paper work for it.

HAH wish you all a Happy We do regret changing our electric- Christmas and a healthy and ity supplyer through Iberswich and will prosperous New Year. return to Iberdrola ASA LESLEY EBURNE, HAH founder KATH LAMPEN, Rojales

CHRISTMAS is coming, and many of our volunteers are going away, so an early Christmas Lunch was held at the Novo Carthago restaurant in Los Urrutias on December 2.

Sixty volunteers, their partners and friends sat down to a traditional threecourse lunch with all the trimmings. The success of Help At Home Mar Menor is down to them. Their care, commitment

What an Iberswitch-off!

I READ with some interest a letter you had off John and Judy Brady regarding their experience with Iberswitch (Issue 94).

We have been with Iberswitch for almost three years (in April) and have not made a penny in savings from them. In fact the bills have increased.

We, too, have had two threatening letters from Iberdrola, saying that Elecval owe them money and if it

wasn't paid by a certain date we would be cut off. Needless to say we weren't. The response we got from Iberswitch was to ignore the letters.

Recently we were changed from Elecval to another supplier within their group and got money taken out of our bank from Elecval on two occasions without having a factura sent to the house.

The only thing that is keeping us

Mac, that’s slack! Jack packed a whack that was black BEFORE John McGregor decides to write another article on boxing, I suggest he gets his facts straight.

Muhammad Ali beat George Foreman in the eighth round, not the fifth. And Jack Johnson was not the first heavyweight champion of the world - John L Sullivan was.

Johnson was the first black heavyweight champion, taking the title off Canadian Tommy Burns in Australia in 1908.

DAVE, El Raso

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JOHN McGREGOR replies: In the words of the great Captain Mainwaring ‘Good! I was wondering who’d be the first to spot that.’ (Nice to know someone out there is reading it). You are right about the eighth round sorry.

But John L Sullivan was really the American bare-knuckle champion, only world by default (a bit like The America’s Cup in yachting, until Alan Bond won it for Australia). Pressure of space meant I missed the word ‘black’ out of my description of Jack Johnson being the first World Heavyweight Champion: that is when the programme I watched started from.

Fifteen all?

Friday, December 14, 2012

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AGE OF THE STRAIN I’VE always been mystified when elderly expats, who clearly love the Spanish life, up sticks and return to the rain and pollution of overpopulated Britain.

I know at least half a dozen couples who have turned their backs on the Iberian sunshine, always reluctantly, citing fears of deteriorating health and/or losing their partner.

“Why worry about healthcare?”, I’d ask.

“The Spanish system is generally regarded as superior to the NHS in Britain. And as for being on your own, the expat community is awash with widows, widowers and neverweds all in the same boat.’’

I certainly don’t mind being on my own.

It’s been fun going solo for the last couple of years and I couldn’t be happier. Apart, that is, from the fact I’m too old to dismiss my ever-growing waistline as a ready-to-drop papoose.

I certainly have more friends in Spain than I ever had in the UK, many of them, like myself, without partners. And I am never lost for something to do on the odd occasion my eyes aren’t glued to a computer screen.

However, during my current visit to spend Christmas with my family in Manchester, I’ve begun to see the idea of repatriation in a different light…or darkness even.

Yes, I am beginning to question how I would manage on my own in Spain if, as I fear, I become wheelchair bound and reliant on the assistance of carers.

Regular readers of my column (if there are any) will know that humour is the weapon I use to fight adversity. I dismiss the intermittent trembling of my left hand by admitting I have Parkinson’s Disease and adding: ‘If the shaking gets any worse, they’re giving me my own chat show.’’

As for my blocked cardiac arteries, I joke about my visits to the stentist, an Irish lady called Angie O’Plasty.

No one wants to hear this, but I have so many health problems that I’ll soon have an entry of my own in the official medical dic-

tionary. I can see it now.

Donnagitis: A multitude of different complaints. A person who craves the invention of oral stental floss. (Give me a break from those damned angioplasties!)

But seriously, my mobility has deteriorated alarmingly this last few months and I know my problems will become progressively worse. Here in Manchester I have an amazing team of carers who are, quite simply, the best.

With two daughters and six grandkids here among the flatcaps and ferrets, I am beginning to ask questions of myself. I already struggle to get up from armchairs and sofas and get out of cars – so I’ve no hope of coping in Spain when I perpetually need winch-

ing up. The price of hiring a crane is outrageous as it is.

I never believed I would say this, but I am slowly resigning myself the fact I will one day return to the land of my birth.

Still breathing, too..

Returning to the UK sounds so unlikely when I tell you I love every minute of living in Spain.

I live the dream – waking each morning to the accompaniment of bright sunshine and that indescribable atmosphere of ‘foreignness’. Just as I did 30 years ago, when family holidays in Spain were the highlight of my year.

I’d wake on the final morning of our stay and think to myself, ‘Hell, it’s so wonderful here and I’ve got to head back to England and work. I don’t want to go!’

This past couple of years I’ve been waking every morning and bursting (very badly) into song – my favourite being ‘’Every day’s a holiday in my house’’ (to no particular tune). It was going to be my anthem until that weird morning when I wake up dead.

Now I’m beginning to think I’d quite like to spend my final days ferreting for flat caps, if you get my drift (yes, even in the snow).

If I freeze to death, I’ve got to go sometime anyway. But at least my daughters will be there to wrap me up warm, look after me, and earn thei inheritance.I don’t possess.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

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'THE trouble with this hostelry is that there ain't no culture.'

Thus spake Dave the barman as he cast a disapproving eye around his booze empire the other evening.

We members of the pub discussion group sank into an abyss of stunned silence followed swiftly by a rising tide of muttered and mumbled protests.

Things were starting to turn decidedly ugly, apart from those of us present who were ugly to start with. But we were not going to take Dave the barman's words lying down, apart from those among us who were already lying down.

However, all confrontation was suspended as we ministered to the wants of the most burdened pub patron, Daft Barry. Sensing the strained atmosphere, he had burst into tears. Daft Barry was indeed daft but he was also a sensitive soul.

We gathered around the poor bloke and helped him to blow his nose and wipe his eyes. And then we were ready to resume our dispute.

'Right,' I said to Dave the barman. 'What exactly do you want from us? Come on, Dave. Cards on the table.'

Friday, December 14, 2012

UPPITY NUMPTIES Daft Barry's ears pricked up. Whipping out a wellthumbed deck of playing cards, he dealt two face-up on the bar and shouted 'Snap!'

Dave the barman sighed.

'All I'm saying is that my beloved public house has become somewhat jaded latterly. All we seem to talk about these days is ancient soccer stars, clapped-out motor cars that we have loved and lost and, er, the latest antics of Mrs S. 'We sorely need to elevate ourselves into an establishment which provides sophistication and refinement with a pinch of worldly wisdom.'

'That's bound to go well with the weak ale and mouldy nibbles,' I observed bitingly.

Dave the barman angrily slammed his hand on the bar. 'I have to get more flaming punters in! Can't you lot see? More customers mean extra income. And, while I'm not promising anything, more revenue might result in stronger beer and fresher titbits.'

I angrily slapped my palm on the bar, prompting an 'Ouch!' from Dave the barman who had failed to remove HIS hand in time.

'You'd sacrifice the agreeable ambience of this cheerful hostelry simply to get your paws on more filthy lucre?' I cried.

Ol' Red Eyes, who had fallen asleep for the umpteenth time that evening, slowly lifted his head, opened one bloodshot eye and muttered: 'Ambulance? Who's called for an ambulance? I knew those dodgy pork scratchings would get one of us sooner or later.'

A grim silence descended as each of us pondered our future in what over the years had become our second home.

'Well?' asked Dave the barman.

this. When creating your poems do not fall into the trap of trying to find rhyming words for orange or silver.

Remember that nowt rhymes 'What do you reckon, fellers?'

'And how many years has with those two words.'

Ol' Red Eyes went back to 'What can I say, Dave?' I it been since you were a sleep on the floor and within said. 'As barman, landlord schoolboy?' I sneered. and indeed owner of this Ol' Red Eyes angrily seconds had started to snore hostelry, you hold all the thwacked his hand on the noisily -- a sure sign that he aces.' bar. Dave the barman and I was out for the count until closing time.

Daft Barry's ears twitched both shouted 'Ouch!'

'Who would have believed again. He produced his play'I'll have you know that I ing cards and called out TAUGHT sixth-formers!' it,' mused Dave the barman.

'Twist!' declared Ol' Red Eyes. 'I was 'A pub full of supposed 'All I'm suggesting,' said an English master and a numpties and yet one of us is an English teacher. Ol' Red Dave the barman, 'is that we damned fine one!' introduce some culture into 'Blimey,' all of us chorused Eyes certainly turned out to the place. I mean, we could in surprise. 'We have wisdom be the joker in the pack.'

Daft Barry pulled out his for instance hold a weekly in our midst.' poetry competition.'

'That settles it,' beamed playing cards again, turned 'Poetry?' I asked aghast. Dave the barman. 'I'll have one over and declared: 'How the hell can we con- poetry contest posters 'Hearts are trumps.'

I shrugged. 'I don't reckon verse in verse when most of designed and we can plaster us can't even string two them all over the high street. Ol' Red Eyes is all that words together?'

That's bound to bring in the clever.'

'What do you mean?'

Ol' Red Eyes neighbourhood intelligentsia.' woke up Ol' Red Eyes stirred again. asked an incredulous Dave a g a i n . Lifting up a shaky finger he the barman.

Sensing my own moment ' P o e t r y mumbled: 'But I have some to impress, I got to my feet, s o u n d s advice for you all . . .' prom'Quick somebody, give him stepped over the supine form ising a nudge,' urged Dave the of Ol' Red Eyes and prot o barman. 'He's gone coma- claimed: 'The supposed expert on English said that m e , ' tose again.' h e Ol' Red Eyes fell off his nowt rhymes with orange or slurred.

'I stool but drew himself up on silver. Well, he's wrong.

'Nowt actually rhymes with haven't done one elbow. sonnets since sixth 'My solitary piece of advice shout, doubt, pout and form.' to all you budding bards is sprout.'

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Friday, December 14, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSON 50

present participle, that is the ´ing´ ending in English. As a rule the reflexive pronoun (me, te, se etc.) goes before the conWELL, here we are just two more lessons after jugated verb, with the present participle or with an infinitive this one and you will have been learning there are two options, both are correct and as ever choose Spanish with me for one year. I hope you are which one feels most comfortable for you to use. But be aware that it can be the other way managing to keep up and having conversations around. at some level.

Reflexive pronouns may be Maybe you have decided to take some lessons in a school added to either form: or privately, or maybe you have widened your circle of friends estoy durmiénto include more Spanish people. Whatever level you are at dome – I am and however you are learning, I hope that it is as much fun falling for you as it still is for me. asleep, Of course at times it is frustrating and sometimes it seems quiero as though it will never go in, but other days the confidence comes back and I remember why I love speaking Spanish.

Keep enjoying it and I will have something special for the last lesson of the year.

Last week we were learning reflexive verbs, so here are the answers: I shave myself every day – me afeito cada día, we shower in the morning – Nos duchamos por la mañana, I brush my hair – me cepillo el pelo, I get up at eight o´clock every day – me levanto a las ocho cada día (todos los días), she bathes every night – se baña cada noche (todas las noches), it is hot and Maria dresses herself in a dress – hace calor y María se viste en un vestido, Elena takes off her shoes – Elena se quita los zapatos, we get bored in this class – nos aburrimos en esta clase, Ana never sleeps before midnight – Ana nunca se duerme antes de la medianoche, I put on my coat – me pongo el abrigo, I sit at the table – me siento a la mesa, I wake up at seven o´clock in the morning – me despierto a las siete por la mañana.

We are going to carry on with reflexive verbs; so far you know when to use them in the present tense in a general sense - I am going to explain a little more about them now and a few other times when they are used. ¿Y mis guantes? Me los quiero poner Firstly we will learn how to use reflexive verbs with the

acostarme – I want to go to bed.

OR pronouns may precede the conjugated form that end with an infinitive or present participle: me estoy durmiendo – I am falling asleep, me quiero acostar – I want to go to bed.

In lesson 30 we learned where to put ´IT´ etc in a sentence, with a reflexive sentence the direct object pronoun (IT) goes after the reflexive pronoun: ¿dónde está mi sombrero? Quiero ponérmelo – where is my hat? I want to put it on, ¿Y mis guantes? Me los quiero poner – And my gloves? I want to put them on.

Reflexive constructions are also used in reciprocal actions, that is actions that you do to or for each other: Paco y yo nos ayudamos – Paco and I help each other, Mi gato y mi perro se pelean todos los días – my cat and my dog fight with each other every day.

You can use phrases including el uno al otro, la una a la otra, los unos a los otros, las unas a las otras or the adverb mutuamente to explain the fact that it is a reciprocal use of the reflexive pronouns when the context is not clear enough. E.g. nunca nos enfadamos el uno con el otro – we never get angry with each other, if we didn´t add the last bit it could just mean we never get angry or we never get angry with each other, with the addition of ´el uno con el otro´ the meaning is then absolutely clear.

Next week we will continue with the last of the lessons on reflexive verbs and then as promised will be a special end of year lesson. It´s going to be a big revision exercise, I hope you´re prepared, if not start your revising now, there is no point going on until you are completely sure of what you have learned. Don´t forget you can check all my lessons on the internet at www.thecourier.es So here is some homework to check your knowledge of reflexive verbs, translate the following into Spanish: I like to get up early, now I am brushing my teeth, the two teams admire each other, I want to get up now, I am brushing my hair, Jack and I hug (abrazarse) each other, we understand each other.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

DYING FOR CHRISTMAS MY RIA’S SPECIAL DAY - BUT THESE DOGS WON’T SEE IT CHRISTMAS is a time that I love sharing with my dogs.

For Ria, my latest Spanish puppy, this is her first Christmas and only a few days ago I noticed that most of the silver balls that decorate the Christmas tree were missing. I didn’t have to search far, as Ria had stashed all of them in her bed! She is fascinated by them.

On Christmas Day, all of the dogs will get a specially prepared dinner and they are already licking their lips in anticipation. Sadly, for the dogs pictured here, the only thing they have to anticipate is euthanasia on December 21. They are all in a Spanish dog pound in Hellin and on that day, if no one has come forward to offer these wonderful dogs a home, they will be put to sleep.

Happy Christmas? Not for these dogs, who were either dumped at the pound or picked up on the streets. Born into a merciless world that tossed them to one side and now plans to kill them in a matter of days.

There is still time for them to be saved, though. But only if people come forward to rescue them.

If you are interested in offering one of these dogs a home, please contact Becky Sweetman on 965698052 or email her at beckysweetman5@hotmail.com Please, please, can we help make it a Happy Christmas for these dogs.

Dodi A little male dog.

Serena Medium-sized female, very loving.

Golfo Very loving and good with other dogs.

May Medium-sized female.

Merilyn Medium sized female.

Teka Very calm and smart little girl.

Lalo Small female.

For anyone who rescues one of these dogs, I will offer two free tickets for my seminar in Spain in February. Details can be found by going to www.thedogyouneed.com and clicking on courses.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? TONY is now 5 months old but was abandoned when he was only 10 weeks old. He is a loving pup who should be easy to train and would make a fantastic companion. 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

JAKE is a small crossbreed who is approximately 10 years old. He is loving and friendly little man who is fully vaccinated, micro chipped and castrated. 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Brendon came to us with his brother Samson when he was just 6 weeks old. He is now approx 4 months old, is a cross Dogo Argentino and will be big when fully grown.

Call: 966 725 975. www.petsinspain.com

Tyson is just over a year old, he was found in a cardboard box with his 2 sisters when they were just 8 weeks old.

Please contact Natasha on 616210850 or visit our website www.apahrescue.org

RIVA is 3 years old. As a Mastin crossbreed she is a larger dog but is very gentle and loving and has got on well with other dogs that she has shared her pen with.966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Billie was found in the campo, very weak and disorientated. He is approx 1 years old and is a lovely, playful, well behaved dog, very trusting and affectionate. He is good with children.

Call: 665 062 361. www.petsinspain.com

Jake

Brendon

Tyson

Riva

Billie

Tony Rocky Rocky is a German Shepherd that has been tied up for most of his life. He is 10 years old and is now ready to find that special person that will care for him for the rest of his life. Please ring Laurence 680856235 www.catsndogsaid.com

Max Max is approx 4 years old and was seen running around the streets so we took him in. He is a really gentle boy, good with other dogs and cats and is chipped. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Friday, December 14, 2012

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Accident black spots: the 15 most dangerous Spanish roads Drivers on the M-40 in Madrid, the Avenida Diagonal de Barcelona or the Puente del V Centenario in Seville, must be aware of the fact that they are travelling on one of the three most dangerous urban areas in the country. This is the main conclusion of the study “Black spots: traffic accidents in Spanish capitals” carried out by Línea Directa Aseguradora in which more than 1.2 million motor vehicle accidents in provincial capital cities in the last six years were analysed.

The main aim of the report, which has attracted a great deal of media attention, is to analyse a phenomenon causing 18% more fatal accidents than on interurban roads. To this end, the areas of the Spanish capital cities in which Línea Directa has registered the highest number of accidents, have been identified, which has made it possible to create, for the first time, a map of accident black spots, i.e. those streets and roads on which over 100 accidents a year have been recorded. .

According to the list of black spots, Barcelona, Madrid and Seville head the Top 15 of provincial capitals. Madrid also has three of the five most dangerous areas in the whole country.

Call now for more information on 902 123 104

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Friday, December 14, 2012

A SINGLE CHRISTMAS WITH Christmas Day little more than a week away, what are we single people going to be doing this year?

Of course I shan´t be on my own as I have my little man to keep me company - and this time of year is all about the children after all.

Last year I spent December 25 with a guy I had been seeing; however this year I am thinking that there will be no-one to kiss under the mistletoe and that the only cuddles I´ll be getting in front of the heater will be from my son. Lovely as they are, his arms aren´t quite long enough to go around me!

This year, though, I have been very lucky to be invited to my friends’ house. Racheal and Ali are going to be preparing everything, although I will be bringing my vegetarian main course and some nibbles for later in the day. The rest, they have decided, is up to them.

They are not only inviting me but also their other single friends, so it will be a Christmas dinner table pretty much full of waifs and strays. However, it is going to be nice to be amongst friends for a few hours on Christmas Day rather than spending the day at home tidying up wrapping paper and stopping my son from eating all his Christmas chocolates.

Racheal and Ali are the sort of people who have an open door all year. No-one is made to feel unwelcome if they just turn up for a cup of tea and the kettle is on before you have walked into the lounge. However, it seems that some other people only invite single people to their house at special occasions like Christmas, the rest of the year we can be pretty much left to fend for ourselves.

I have a friend in the UK - he is single, lives alone and is

hardly ever invited to friends’ houses. However, on this day people feel it is their obligation or duty to invite those left alone to dinner. My friend always declines such invitations, not because they only invite him one day a year but simply because he doesn’t want to go out on Christmas Day and is quite happy in front of the TV with his choice of programmes

Christmas dinner for one? and his choice of dinner.

That said, if I lived near him in the UK we would, I am sure, be spending the festive season together. But then, we

would also spend a lot of time together the rest of the year, as you do with friends.

But back to those of us who are without a partner at this festive time. I know when I lived in the UK and didn´t have children, Christmas was just another day. When I wasn´t working I was quite happy with a ready meal and a glass of wine watching the Eastenders Christmas special.

This year, though, I don´t know if it’s because I am older and maybe wiser, but even if I didn’t have my son I would still be going to my friends for Christmas and enjoying the day, rather than locking myself away to soap operas.

I hope that those others of you reading this who are on their own accept any invitation you may receive and enjoy the day with friends.

Life can be lonely here in Spain, especially when you are a long way from old friends and family; so the friends that you make here can be a lifeline and I firmly believe that friends wouldn’t ask you to their house if they didn´t truly want to open their door to you.

Don’t be a martyr and don’t be alone. If you don’t get invited to a friend’s house, make this season an excuse to speak to that other single neighbour or person you always see at the bar or local shop. You never know, they might be in exactly the same position as you and not be looking forward to another lonely Christmas.

And don´t forget, the festive season is the time to be friendly and sociable. Reaching out to a stranger may lead to something more long term; after all, friendship isn’t just for Christmas.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

HERE’S a note of free advice to politicians.

Never trash a national treasure!

Take the case of UK Environment Secretary Owen Paterson, who labelled Alan Titchmarsh a “complete Muppet” for daring to criticise Conservative countryside policies.

Titchmarsh was worried that nothing was being done to help preserve ash trees from dying out from a fungus, and the famous gardener also said the Tories had lost touch with rural issues.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that what Alan has to say on something like this would be far more illuminating than some jumped-up career politician from any party!

The TV favourite then got both barrels from the country-sports-loving Paterson, who seems to have been totally invisible in his Cabinet role since getting the environment brief twoand-a-half months ago. The 56-year-old former leathercompany owner clearly enjoys tanning other people’s hides as well as shooting from the hip. He’s very much a darling of the Tory right wing, beating a strong drum against the European Union and being cool on gay and lesbian equality.

BITCH AT TITCH AT YOUR PERIL! Since Alan Titchmarsh enjoys having David Cameron as a regular guest on his ITV chat-show, I rather suspect the Prime Minister will tell his minister to zip it, rather than behaving in a way that is akin to the mental capacity of my favourite Muppet, Fozzie Bear. I’m also waiting for Mr. T to invite Mr. P onto his show for what would be quite a tasty confrontation.

I’m sure Owen Paterson promptly removed David Cameron from his Christmas card list with the news that the PM is pushing for gay marriages to be allowed to take place in church (though the final decision would be down to individual churches).

This “cuddly” liberal side of Cameron has found some useful support from the progressive wing of the Conservatives, including a letter signed by big

hitters like Michael Gove and Boris Johnson. Both those guys have their eyes on a bigger future prize and to be shown as caring Tories - so I’m sure they are also pitching their credentials to people well outside their p a r t y.

The idea is certain to get through the House of Commons with Labour and Liberal support on a free vote, though it’s going to look somewhat embarrassing for Mr.Cameron, as 130 of his

right-wingers (including Owen Paterson), go goosestepping through the “no” door.

That’s something that Mr Miliband and Mr Clegg will seize on as an example of how large elements of the Tory Party refuse to adapt to change in a modern society.

Power is something some people refuse to let hold of, and convicted tax fraudster and gigolo Silvio Berlusconi incredibly says that he wants to become Italian Prime Minister for the fourth time.

After the latest coalition government fell in Rome, the 76-year-old wants to be back calling the shots.

Economic desperation leads to strange things, and I can’t rule out the Italians doing something as stupid as putting him back in. That’s despite a current trial where Berlusconi is accused of sex with an

under-age prostitute. In most other countries, that would be a political career over and done with. In Italy, different rules seem to apply - but since Berlusconi owns most of the media, he can let his puppets spin to their hearts’ content.

There’s one thing I may have missed over the suicide of ‘phone-prank’ nurse Jacintha Saldanha.

And we may never know the answer to this.

Was this lady given a humiliating dressing down by a pen pusher at the King Edward Hospital in London?

The BBC reported that she had not been disciplined or suspended for putting through the hoax phone call to another nurse, but that doesn’t mean somebody in authority didn’t say something out of turn to her.

There’s no evidence for or against this, but there’s always been a culture of NHS mandarins wanting to protect their own backs with the hard-working doctors and nurses always in the firing line.

I really hope I’m wrong, but it’s all too easy to fling all the muck at a couple of Aussie radio presenters, whilst somebody closer to home may also have contributed to Jacintha’s tragic actions.

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A GREAT HOBBY FOR SAIL!

BY DAVID LEES

WELL, summer has gone and you may just be looking for a new hobby to fill in all that time you have on your hands over this winter. Then why not try sailing - Radio Controlled sailing? I am talking about a great pastime; whether you are a beginner or a seasoned sailor it is worth giving it a try.

The new Radio Control model group based in Los Alcázares is now one year old, and runs under the name of R.C Mar Menor Sailing Group.

The group has progressed well over its first 12 months. The R.C. group is one of a number of S.A.M.M. (Sailing Association Mar Menor) groups and members can enjoy the full range of benefits that S.A.M.M. has to offer including an active social scene and the opportunity to join in and sail a number of different full size boats if that takes your fancy.

We are based at the sports college of Infanta Cristina on the shores of the Mar Menor and enjoy the use of the college’s excellent sailing facilities. Our racing series has now started and our members are getting use to tuning their boats to get the best out of them, with some just learning to sail for the very first time.

We have started with some friendly Handicap racing to define the different capabilities of each boat and judge the popularity of the different classes of boats, so we can progress running class racing alongside handicap racing.

With all new clubs it is a matter of wait and see what boats people want to buy and I believe that variety is the spice of life. In the short term it looks like the International One Metre

will form the first boat class for racing with four already on the water and more being built.

The I.O.M. has - it is known as world wide support and has been in production for more than 30 years with national competitions in Europe, USA, New Zealand, and Australia, and world championships run every year. Three years ago the Spanish National Championships where held at the college over a 3 day period with some 14 boats taking part.

We have already attracted a wide range of boat types and owners with an equally wide range of diverse skills.

Their skills are always available to members and they are willing to assist if need be. The group caters for all tastes whether you are a seasoned model boat builder or you prefer your boat straight out of a box.

The range of boats we have attracted so far to our Friday morning get together is very varied from the compact Victoria at 750mm long, up to the mighty five foot long American East Coast 12 metre, also including a Thunder Tiger, four International One Metres, and an Austrian Smaragd.

Last year we acquired one of the new American Vela one metre boats, this was shipped in from the states for valuation and trials and looking very good it comes fully built and includes a 2.4 digital R.C. control system, and we now have two.

We have also have two Laser which is are copies of the world famous Laser single handed 2.7 class dinghy.

In the U.K. sailors of the full size Laser regularly race the R.C. version in winter to sharpen their skills that is if they can break the ice on the local pond, sorry I could not resist that one.

We also would like to bridge the divide and become more multinational and attract some other nationalities as members. So if we can tempt you to come and take a look then for more information please check out our website www.rcmarmenorsailinggroup.eu or phone David Lees on 968 170 870 or E-mail davidlees66@hotmail.com Hope to see you on the water soon.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

A taste of Italy in Benijofar Enrico, owner of the new Sinfonia De Roma Restaurant in Benijofar opened his doors 3 weeks ago. Enrico who is Italian, and was born in Rome, previously ran the Sinfonia De Roma Restaurant in Dona Pepa and has customers from this area who are willing to travel to his new restaurant in Benijofar to taste his Italian delights.

Enrico has been in the family restaurant business for many years and is very customer focussed. The Menu del Dia is priced at just £7.95 for 3 courses including a drink. Live Entertainment is available every week-end, with music to make you dance until you drop. Bookings for private functions are welcome with prices negotiable for large parties of people.

The restaurant is very nicely furnished with an Italian theme that makes you feel

Christmas Gift Ideas

Make Christmas more personal by making your own gorgeous gourmet gifts like you are sitting in a restaurant in the streets of Rome. So for those of you who would like to enjoy a typical Italian style evening out in a relaxed friendly atmosphere, the new Sinfonia de Roma Italian Restaurant in Benijofar is well worth a visit.

As the restaurant is proving a huge success, reservations are advisable Tel: 637 385 305

GINGERBREAD GIFT JARS Ingredients 100g soft light brown sugar 1 tsp ginger ¼ tsp allspice ¼ tsp cinnamon 50g chopped crystallised ginger 125g plain flour ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

Method 1. Mix sugar with ginger, allspice and cinnamon. Spoon into a jar and pack down tightly.

Add a layer of crystallised ginger. Mix flour with baking powder and bicarbonate of soda and spoon on top of the ginger. Put on the lid, decorate with ribbons and a cookie cutter.

2. Label with cooking instructions: Mix 150g melted butter with 1 tbsp golden syrup and 1 egg yolk. Add to the dry ingredients, mix well, then knead to a dough. Chill for 15 mins then roll out. Cut into biscuits and bake at 200C/180C fan/gas 6 for 8-10 mins. Cool on a wire rack.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

BITTER CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES Ingredients 2 x 100g bars 70% dark chocolate , chopped 85ml double cream 1 tsp vanilla extract cocoa and grated white chocolate , for dusting

Method

1. Put the chocolate, cream and vanilla in a pan and heat very gently until melted. Cool, then chill for 90 mins until firm.

2. Use a mini ice cream scoop or teaspoon to make 24 truffles, then dust with cocoa or grated white chocolate. Chill until ready to eat.

You can make these 4 days ahead or they will freeze for 1 month. Thaw in a cool place and, if needed, dust with a little more cocoa.

BITTER CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES Ingredients 2 fat red chillies , plus extra for bottling 1l vodka

Method

Slice the chillies and mix with the vodka in a large bottle or jug. Leave for 4-5 hrs. Strain out the chillies and pour back into a bottle to store until needed. Just before giving away, decant into smaller glass bottles, pop a whole chilli in each and label.

CRANBERRY JEWELLED MINCEMEAT Ingredients 500g mixture of raisins, currants and sultanas (use jumbo or golden sultanas if you can get them) 140g dried apricots , chopped 85g dried cranberries 85g mixed peel 150ml brandy zest and juice 1 lemon zest and juice 1 orange 175g suet 100g fresh or frozen cranberries , roughly chopped 200g soft brown sugar 1½ tsp ground cinnamon ½ tsp ground nutmeg

Method

1. Tip the dried fruits and mixed peel into a large bowl. Pour over the brandy, zests and juices. Stir, then cover and leave to soak for 24 hrs.

2. Tip the mixture into a large saucepan with the remaining ingredients and stir well. Set over a medium heat and, once the suet has melted, turn up the heat and bubble for a few mins. Pack while hot into sterilised jars (see tip, below).

Leave in a cool, dark cupboard for at least a fortnight, or for up to 6 months.

PISTACHIO & CRANBERRY COOKIES Ingredients 175g butter , softened

85g golden caster sugar ½ tsp vanilla extract 225g plain flour 75g pistachios 75g dried cranberries

Method

1. Mix the butter, sugar and vanilla extract with a wooden spoon. stir in the flour, then tip in the pistachios and cranberries you might need to get your hands in at this stage to bring the mix together as a dough.

Halve the dough and shape each half into a log about 5cm across. Wrap in cling film, then chill for 1 hr or freeze for up to 3 months.

2. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. slice the logs into 1cmthick rounds, place on a baking tray lined with baking parchment and bake for 12-15 mins. Cool completely on the tray.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Creative Nail Design - GOOD FATS THAT Acrylic Nail Extensions MAKE YOU SLIM Forget about dry toast and simple vegetables. Add these fats to your diet and you will get the body you want.

Coconut oil:

Since 1979, CND - Creative Nail Design has developed pioneering professional products and services that expand the promise and possibility of beauty for hands and feet.

Whether fingers or toes, nails are fashion - the perfect accessory to an outfit or that subtle flash of indulgence defining a personal look. Their formulas allow professionals to consistently create nails that are unique and expressive CND SHELLAC MANICURES V'S GEL MANICURES Everyone keeps talking about the new trend in nails and most are still trying to understand what a gel manicure is really all about.

If you have ever received a gel manicure your experience was probably troublesome when it came to the removal of the polish, as most gel's can only be removed by filing .

Which over a period of time can be very damaging to your natural nail.

CND Shellac manicure is the only non-gel

manicure on the market, which makes it less damaging to nails.Results of a CND Shellac manicure should last about two weeks or longer—no chipping or fading. There are 30 shades of lacquer, and they can be layered for endless possibilities. CND Shellac has zero drying time so when your manicure is completed you do not have to wait around for it to dry unlike a normal manicure.. When removing Shellac the nails are soaked in a remover which should take no longer than 10 minutes and is much better for your nails than filing the product off.

CND Shellac can also be worn on the toes and again after your pedicure is complete you can put your shoes straight back on without having the worry of any smudges.

Here at Medaesthetics we are offering you a special treat for Christmas with a 5 euro off any nail treatment voucher including a set of Acrylic Nails or a CND Shellac Manicure or Pedicure. The voucher can also be used to buy a gift voucher for Christmas and will be valid up in-till the end of January 2013.

one percent of their weight more and almost 3 percents of body fat cells more than those who ate a similar amount of vegetable oil.

*How to use it Neutral taste of Enova is good for salads flavoring. You can also bake adding Enova oil but do not use it for frying; reducing Enova to high temperatures you could change the flavor and color of a dish.

Peanut oil:

Most of vegetable oils including olive and cereal oils, include fatty acids that circulate in your body, and feed hungry fat cells.

Coconut oil, however, is rich with fat called medium chain triglycerides, which is rarely found in other foods. In addition, your body requires extra energy to decrease this fat.

And every day your body requires burning up extra 45 calories.

The study showed that people who ate peanut oil often weigh less than those who avoided it. It seems that a combination of protein, fat and fiber satiates much faster, so you eats less.

Whole nuts have the same effect; a study found that people, who were adding peanuts to their diet during 19 weeks, increased the number of burning dormant calories at 11 percent. Why? Unsaturated fat in peanuts and nut oil is burned up more quickly than other fats.

*How to use it Coconut oil is often used for toasts instead of butter. But do not add it into frying fat because coconut oil is destructed at high temperatures.

Enova oil: Traditional fats contain three fatty acids, but Enova oil has only two fatty acids; and that's why your body perceives it in another way. It is processed almost the same way as coconut oil proceeding directly to your liver where it is burned up and used for energy.

When being on low-calorie diet people consumed 15 percent of their daily calories from Enova oil (3 to 8 teaspoons), they lost

Hypertension - A case history Hypertension also known as high blood pressure is today recognised as the single most important predictor of heart disease, even more so than high cholesterol. It occurs when the pressure from circulating blood on the walls of blood vessels rises above normal levels. Blood pressure (BP) is normally recorded as 2 readings on a sphygmomanometer. The top reading known as systolic pressure, is usually the higher of the 2 readings, and records the pressure when the heart contracts and forces blood into the arteries. The diastolic or bottom reading records the pressure when blood flows back into the heart. The normal blood pressure of an adult is an average value of 130/80 mmHg since daily variations can occur between 95140/60-90 mmHg. As recently as the 1940s, hypertension was believed by the leading

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to machimannu@gmail.com

physicians of the day to be a good thing for health. A notable cardiologist of that era is quoted to have said that ‘The greatest danger to a man with high blood pressure lies in its discovery, because then some fool is certain to try and reduce it’. The late president of the USA, Franklin Roosevelt, died of a brain haemorrhage (stroke) in 1945, and his medical history represents a textbook case of what happens to the body when high blood pressure remains untreated.

By the end of Roosevelt’s first term in office, he had a BP of 162/98 mmHg. His doctors believed it was good for his brain and he did not receive any form of therapy. By 1941 his blood pressure was 188/105, and by then he had developed shortness of

breath, lethargy, drowsiness and other evidence of heart failure. His doctors did not think much of his symptoms and only managed him for acute bronchitis and sinusitis.

By 1944 when he was examined, he had pulmonary oedema (water in the lungs), an enlarged heart on x-ray and proteins in his urine. His BP was recorded at 230/140 and he had also suffered a series of strokes. Churchill’s physician who saw him that year noted that he was ‘looking straight ahead with his mouth open as if he were not taking things in’. The doctor thought that Roosevelt was very ill and did not give him more than a few months to live. By the time Roosevelt died while posing for a portrait and complaining of a severe headache, his

blood pressure was 300/190 mmHg. Even though scientists were aware of the damage high blood pressure caused during the 1950s, it remained untreated as a disease unless symptoms occurred. The decision to manage hypertension was not officially reached until the mid1970s when several international medical committees agreed to diagnose and treat hypertension only when the diastolic pressure exceeded 105 mmHg. Today, some doctors would define hypertension as a blood pressure above 135/85 mmHg. The aim of blood pressure management is to reduce it to normal values. Helpful lifestyle changes include; taking regular exercises such as walking cycling and swimming, losing

*How to use it Peanut oil flavors Asian noodles and sauce, also you can spread bread with peanut oil. The ideal number is 1-2 tablespoons of oil.

excess weight, quitting smoking since it causes the constriction of blood vessels which raise blood pressure, and taking time to relax.

Dietary supplements that have been studied and shown to have a significant impact on hypertension include: Co

enzyme Q10, Vitamin E, Magnesium, Hawthorn, Hibiscus and Garlic. Please visit www.medb.es for more information.

For A Full Body Diagnostic Scan and Therapy, Contact Dr Machi Mannu

Friday, December 14, 2012

21

Why I will NEVER have a flu jab Hello Dr Machi, I have enjoyed reading Q your recent articles in the Courier, and especially the one on the influenza vaccine.

About 20 years ago my father-in-law, who lived in North Wales, was told to visit his chemist to get the influenza vaccine, and then take it to his doctor who would inject this. As I was waiting at the Medical Centre with him, I read the leaflet in the box. I was shocked when I read all the details about problems this vaccine could cause, and decided there and then never to have this vaccine injected into me. Even though I am in the high risk factor, having a heart condition so am encouraged to have this, I have always refused, and after reading your article I will never consider having this vaccine.

Regards Jess.

Thank you for your email, Jess. I am glad you enjoy reading the articles. I also had a rather awful experience with the flu jab. Years ago, while working with the NHS, the medical staff in direct contact with patients were advised to take the flu vaccine because the previous year a record number of staff came down with the flu and according to the authorities, everyone was at risk and needed the flu vaccine. I went along and received the shot and so did a number of my colleagues. Some of us who were better informed stayed away, and even tried to educate us on the toxic contents of the flu vaccine and the possible adverse effects they caused. But I was quite naïve then, and like most people in the medical community, I trusted the pharmaceutical and medical establishment blindly and never bothered to investigate their claims. The next day I woke up feeling completely broken with the

A

worst case of flu I have ever experienced. My body ached so much I was paralysed and could not move. I also suffered from high fever, abdominal pains, and felt completely drained of energy. These symptoms continued for the next two weeks, and when I was finally able to go back to work, I realised that a few people had also suffered terrible adverse reactions to the vaccine. I also learnt that the particular brand of flu vaccine we received was brand new, and contained very high doses of toxic heavy metals and proteins from animal foetuses. After my experience I made up my mind never to receive the flu vaccine, or any other form of vaccine, until there is enough scientific evidence to prove their efficacy and safety.

More recently I witnessed another possible adverse effect of the flu vaccine. Sometime last month, a gentleman accompanied by his wife visited our clinic for a full body scan. He was otherwise healthy except for having slight problems falling asleep. He was not taking any medications and had no history of previous chronic illness. I would routinely check a patient’s blood pressure after the diagnostic scan, and as I did so for the gentleman, I was surprised when the reading came out to 210/110. The man had no history of hypertension, and such a high reading could not have been caused by ‘The White Coat Syndrome’ (premature increase in blood pressure when people see a doctor). I tried taking it again after about 10 minutes and recorded the same reading. I was quite alarmed and decided to check his wife’s BP and was shocked to get a higher reading of 230/125. Initially I felt something was wrong with my machine, but it occurred to me that I took a very low BP reading the day before. Nevertheless I checked the

blood pressure of my assistant, and it was normal. I gave the gentleman and his wife some tablets which helped lower his blood pressure to about 180/91 mmHg, but her blood pressure remained the same. I decided to take them to Torrevieja Hospital where a number of investigations were performed without any findings, and she received intravenous drugs to reduce her blood pressure. The couple had no previous history of any kind of illness and their blood pressure readings a month before were normal. But a few days before seeing me they had received the flu vaccine. Some scientific reports have linked the flu vaccine with abnormal changes in blood pressure, and this makes it likely that the vaccine may have played a role in the described incident. They couple did not want to take prescribed medications to lower their blood pressure - and after a few weeks of taking Ubiquinol and Magnesium Malate, their blood pressures have returned to normal values.

I am 67 years of age; I consider my lifestyle to be very healthy. I take plenty of exercise, eat fruit and have vegetables with my evening meals. I have lived in Spain for 4 years, but for the past year I always seem to be very tired! I'm not on any medication, I have been to the doctors and have had every blood test you can think of and nothing has been found. I just don't understand why I have no energy, and I seem to want to sleep all the time! Can you help me please?

Tiredness and lack of energy are common problems but only 1 in 5 can be linked to identifiable medical problems. Common causes are mineral deficiencies, anaemia, underactive thyroid gland, immune disorders,

Q

A

stress and depression. In practice I normally perform a full body diagnostic scan to find out the cause and origins of diseases, and I have observed that people who have a history of chronic tiredness usually show inflammation occurring in multiple systems of the body (digestive, circulatory, immune, nervous etc.).

Inflammation is now understood by scientist to be an underlying problem in many diseases. This low grade inflammation is said to be mostly caused by an imbalance in the body between Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids are anti-inflammatory while Omega-6 causes inflammation, which is not such a bad thing, and comes in handy during wound healing. The normal ratio of Omega-6 to Omega-3 in the body is 1:1 but the high intake of Omega-6 through vegetable oils (sunflower oils and corn oil) has increased this ratio to 14:1 in most people or even higher in others. This means that the normally regulated inflammatory processes that occur in the body to repair wounds can continue unabated with disastrous consequences to health. Another observation I have made from diagnostic reports is that a high percentage of people with tiredness also have high levels of toxins such as cadmium, lead, mercury, mycotoxins, and boron in their blood and organs. These toxins are found all around us, in plastics, furniture, clothing, cleaning products and the air we breathe.

Mercury and lead affects the brain and this can manifest as tiredness and sleepiness. My advice to you is to have a full body diagnostic health check to determine the exact cause of the tiredness.

Visit www.medb.es for high-quality supplements

22

Friday, December 14, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Trevor wanted to know how to remove Internet ADVICE: Brian was having problems with Internet Explorer 9 Explorer disappearing

Q A

Hi Richard, how does one uninstall Internet Explorer, I have opened add and remove but cannot find IX on the lists of downloads. Many Thanks Trevor Hi Trevor, you can use these steps to remove Internet Explorer 9…

1. Click the Start button, type Programs and Features in the search box and click on the link to the same when it appears 2. Click View installed updates in the left pane.

3. Under Uninstall an update, scroll down to the Microsoft Windows section.

4. Right-click Windows Internet Explorer 9, click Uninstall, and then, when prompted, click Yes. Hope this helps.

Max was having problems accessing the Spanish Social Security website and also had a question about ink cartridges Hi Richard, I read with interest in this week's Courier your reply to Pamela. I used your get-around and I think it has worked for me, even though the address is a very complicated one! I am having the same problem with the Instituto Nacional de Social Seguridad. I am blocked by Firefox going to the site www.seg-social.es and attempting to access previa cita on the Sede Electronica section. Could you help?

Q

I have had a bit of trouble with my computer. I kept getting pop-ups telling me to disable add-ons to make my computer work faster. I did this and somehow lost my Windows Internet Explorer. I looked up a solution on the website which told me to reinstate the add-ons but I could not figure it out.

Hi Brain, I can’t think of a way in which you would lose Internet Explorer by disabling “Add Ons”, I can only assume that you have accidentally deleted the icon for Internet Explorer, if this is the case then you can get it back by doing the following…

1. Locate the desktop of your computer and press the right hand mouse button 2. Click New, Shortcut and a window will appear asking for the location of the item 3. Type iexplore.exe and press Next 4. In the second box type a name that you would like to appear for the item (i.e. Internet) and click finish 5.You should now have an icon for Internet Explorer on the desktop.

Q A

ADVICE: Mike had no protection on his computer and wanted to know what to do.

Hi Richard. Forgive me for bothering you, but I appear to have no protection at the moment on my computer! Can you please suggest a site I can enter to rectify this? Thanking you.... Mike

Q A

Hi Mike, if you mean that your antivirus has either run out or been removed then you can get the latest version of AVG from this address… http://free.avg.com/gb-en/free-antivirus-download

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Another quick question-what is your opinion on compatible ink cartridges as opposed to brand name cartridges? Regards Max Hi Max, with regards to the site www.seg-social.es, you should be able to add an exception to Firefox when it displays the “untrusted” message for this website, alternatively you could use another browser like Google Chrome for example which accesses this site without problems.

With regards to your question about compatible ink cartridges, as usual the answer is never a simple “yes/no”, however if you have a look at… http://www.spanishink.com/articles/trivia/what-is-the-difference-between-compatible-andremanufactured …you should be able to decide for yourself based on what you are wanting to print out.

A

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

23

Friday, December 14, 2012

THEY let the lunatics out of the asylum last week, didn't they? Big-time!

• We had crass idiots impersonating the Queen, leading to the suicide of a nurse; • We had idiot councillors in Belfast voting to remove the Union Jack from flying over the city hall leading to riots; • We had a mother thinking she knows better than brain surgeons treating her son's brain tumour; • And we had criminals suing police when they are injured committing crimes.

Crazy thoughtlessness seems to be inflicting the world – not least the two moronic 20-somethings on the Australian radio station who thought it was a fantastic joke to impersonate the Queen trying to get a personal hospital update on the condition of the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge.

The problem with 20somethings is they have no depth of experience to warn them of the danger of their actions. Everything is a joke and a laugh and a radio station is just the sort of vehicle in which to exercise crass exhibitionism.

It was a great laugh to impersonate the Queen they revelled in the ability to get away with it.

At the other end of the phone was a nurse who was easily taken in because her first language was not English.

I am pre-judging an inquest but I believe this nurse, a mother of two, thought she had failed in her job so deeply, probably thought she had dishonoured her family, the hospital, and herself, and felt so humiliated the only option was to end her life.

These brainless broadcasters, thinking everything is a bit of a laugh, gave no thought to what the consequences of their actions might be.

What I find incredible is

IDIOTS UNITED

The whole world has gone loony that the telephone conversation was recorded and went to lawyers and the station's managem e n t , who gave the green light for it to be broadcast.

No doubt they saw dollar notes in front of their eyes from the highprofile coverage the stunt would receive.

I hope their wallets are now suffering. Unfortunately basic common sense, human decency and sense of fair play goes out of the window when people see the chance of making money.

I also hope the Australian authorities charge the two prats with manslaughter, or better still they come to the UK to stand trial. I also hope something really serious is done to this radio station like removing its licence.

In my book this is just as serious as the transgressions of phone hacking by the small, irresponsible section of the British press. A long, hard look should be taken of the mass of radio stations now operating worldwide.

On a general level, I have listened to some puerile drivel going out from prats at some radio stations. Idiots broadcasting to idiot listeners methinks. A long, hard look at the whole radio industry is long overdue.

Worldwide.

THE crazy decision by Belfast councillors to fly

q

advice immediately rather than wasting time playing around with the courts.

Also, how much time have the medical experts spent playing silly nonsense in the courts, rather than what they have been trained for - saving lives?

I just hope this mother thinking she knows best hasn't prejudiced her son's chances of life.

THE lunatics were out in force in Nottingham, where a car thief was chased by a police dog and bitten in the process of arrest.

"Good", most of you are hopefully thinking. But in stupid Britain, where lunatics reign supreme, police had to hand out £2,000 in compensation when the villain threatened to sue.

And that's not all. A serial robber intent on getting away from the scene of his 46 raids on jewellery shops in London on a high-speed motor bike, crashed into a police car during a chase and broke his leg. Now he wants £46,000 in compensation – a figure which, knowing Britain and stupid judges, they will probably award at the double!

q

the Union flag only on special days, beggars belief.

If this wasn't a red rag to a bull I don't know what is.

These buffoons must have known their decision would inflame the volatile in Northern Ireland.

I have long said the mentality of many of those we elect is highly suspect and here's the perfect example.

Perhaps the cost of repairing the damage and caring for the 20-plus police who were injured should be borne by those fools who voted to lower the flag. That might exercise the minds of idiots.

Next we have the young mother who faced the trauma of dealing with her young son’s brain tumour.

My heart goes out to her but here’s a classic example of someone who thinks she knows best and does not accept the advice of experts.

In my experience it seems it is women who let emotions override basic com-

q

mon sense when confronted by such a crisis.

Instead of getting her son treated by radiotherapy - the best chance of keeping cancer at bay - she turned to the law to prevent the treatment the majority of the medical profession suggests.

How on earth can anyone

think a judge can provide the best solution? Especially after some of the crass decisions from the courts recently?

Sadly, the cancer has returned. It poses the question whether it would have done so had this mother gone along with medical

24

Friday, December 14, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012

Focus on

25

GUARDAMAR

The Friendly Centre for a Quality Service at the right price Since opening its doors in 2007, the Centre in Guardamar has been an unprecedented success by providing a British service at Spanish prices.

We offer a high quality engineering service, using Ford and Mercedes trained technicians and can service and repair any make of vehicle (petrol or diesel), from a bike to a large motor home.

We have 4 vehicle lifts and use up to date Bosch Diagnostic equipment. Our reputation is built on expertise and quality of service, and we have customers travelling from Benidorm and Mar Menor to take advantage of our “crisis prices”.

For a friendly chat or advice, or even a cup of coffee, contact us on 966107606 or 647162821.

Hear Vital: The Hearing Revolution HEAR VITAL is an innovative hearing solution concept.

Based on security, simplicity, efficiency, convenience and economy, HEAR VITAL provides hearing aids designed to improve your hearing at affordable prices for all. HEAR VITAL guarantees convenience, professional care and a personalised service at guaranteed minimum prices. Hearing aids provided by HEAR VITAL feature an advanced digital technology which is present in each of its 3 different models.

A HEAR VITAL specialist will be available to help you choose which model of hearing aid is best for you. Hear again and change your lifestyle, it is within your reach at HEAR VITAL based in Gran Optica Outlet Hearing Centre in Guardamar.

To make an appointment, or for more information on HEAR VITAL hearing aid products Tel 965 729 595 NOW! Pioneering

Smart Furniture Solutions are “Second 2 None” Second 2 None, the new quality used Furniture Outlet was launched in August 2012. Steve, the owner who is originally from Leicester, moved to Spain with his family over 20 years ago, and has been in this line of work for many years.

Since opening, Second 2 None has gone from strength to strength, with clients from all nationalities looking for a bargain. Second 2 None boasts an excellent choice in new and second hand furniture, beds, and various other household items. Steve also buys quality used furniture from single items to house clearances.

Second 2 None is based on the Santa Ana Industrial Estate, Guardamar del Segura (next to Pick and Pay). So why not pay a visit to the new Second 2 None Outlet today and see what special deals are on offer.

Comprehensive Care for Your Best Friend The San Antón Veterinary Group was founded in 1990 with the idea of giving a prime quality veterinary service. From the beginning, we received the confidence of our regulars that helped improve the clinics day by day. San Anton group now has 8 clinics and a hospital open 24 hours a day. Covering the area from Orihuela Costa to La Marina, San Anton is one of the biggest veterinary groups in Spain. In San Anton 24hrs Hospital in Guardamar del Segura you’ll find everything that your pet may need. All the San Anton’s vets have the experience, knowledge, and technology to treat your pet. All staff speak English, German, French, and Spanish. San Anton’s Hospital is fully equipped with all the modern and advanced appliances .

Permanent supervised hospitalization is available 24hours per day, 7 days per week. For any pet problems call today and you will receive help from one of the friendly staff at San Anton.

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Friday, December 14, 16, 2012 2011

HE’S TOO OLD TO RIDE... BUT DALLAS REGAINS HIS PRIDE THE Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre has galloped to the rescue of another abandoned horse.

In spite of their heavy workload, founders and volunteers at the Rojales centre cannot say no to an animal in need.

Latest challenge was in the rescue of 24-year old Dallas, whose owner ceased feeding him through lack of funds.

The abandoned animal was given to a riding school, but as he was too old to ride he was not wanted there, either.

It would cost €450 to put him to sleep humanely and dispose of the body, which the business owner was not prepared to pay, so contacted the EHCRC instead.

They were informed that the horse would be returned to its original owner, and probably die of starvation, so agreed to provide shelter for Dallas, who will now receive love and kindness alongside several other old horses in EHCRC care.

Founder Sue Weeding would like to thank everyone for all of their support and kind donations during 2012.

“Dallas will also be having a

A special cause

AFGHAN Heroes regional coordinator Jackie Lawson was invited by The Miller Men to hold a raffle at their recent show at Restaurante Los Rosales in Guardamar – and it raised a staggering 670 euros.

A few days later Jackie got a call from Victor Dew of Quesada Golf Society, who is pictured presenting her with €500 raised through various events.

As an award-winning fundraiser, whose husband has spent many years in Afghanistan working with the military, Jackie is well aware of the horrors the soldiers face. Thousands of young servicemen and women face the rest of their lives with horrendous physical and mental injuries. Afghan Heroes aims to help retrain and rehabilitate those who cannot continue their roles within the forces. They also offer free holidays all around the world for those with disabilities, which benefits recovering amputees and greatly aids in their recovery.

For more information on Afghan Heroes work, visit www.afghanheroes.org.uk or contact Jackie on 697501992 wonderful Christmas with all of us at EHCRC,’’ she added.

Maybe you won’t change the world by saving one horse but you will change the whole world for the horse that you save”.

June Brady, chair of The Velvetones Ladies Harmony Chorus, makes a €400 donation to Karolina Leonard, president of Reach Out. The presentation fol-

EHCRC open days are held every Sunday from 13:00 to 16:00. For more information please call Sue on 652 021 980 or email rescue@easyhorsecare.net.

lowed the group’s Christmas Concert at El Paraiso Restaurant in Torrevieja. The money will go towards helping people in need in Torrevieja

SAMPLE LIFE WITH THE LIONS! COMMUNITY members are invited to attend Torrevieja Costa Lions Club meetings at the Cabo Cevera Hotel in La Mata on the second Thursday of each month starting at 5pm.

THE Torrevieja Costa Lions Club has held many charitable events this year - and given a lot of money to local good causes. If you would like to help repeat this in 2013, then please come to a meeting and help the Lions to help others.

Meetings are held at the Cabo Cevera Hotel in La Mata on the second Thursday of each month, starting at 5pm.

27

Friday, December 14, 2012

SONGSTERS REACH OUT WITH SPECIAL CHRISTMAS CHORAL THE Orihuela Costa Male Voice Choir reached out to the community in a big way at a charity concert in Torrevieja last Friday.

The 32-strong group received rapturous applause from an appreciative audience at the first major concert to be hosted by the locally-based I n t e r n a t i o n a l Christian Assembly church, which has adopted the charity Reach Out this year.

The concert raised a magnificent €1,250 for the charity, which will be used to help local families being made homeless or in deep financial crisis.

The choir ’s varied programme of entertaining music was complemented by soloists Janette Gaskell - who sang for the first time on the professional stage - and Mary Beer.

The choir’s conductor, Nigel Hopkins, displayed his multi-

talents by taking the lead in an arrangement he also wrote of

Funiculi, Funicula Denza.

Co-founder Sandra Stephens told the audience that Reach Out currently cares for 30 homeless men and women and 30 families with around 80 children, providing them with basic foods, free coffee and tea and other support through their charity shop.

She pointed out that mortgage in Spain, those without homeless. w o r k

receive unemployment benefit for 18 months and social security helps for a further 18 months - but then all State help ends.

"The problem is that the financial crisis in Spain has been going on for four to five years,’’ she said.

"Families are having to survive with their water and electricity cut off and when they can't pay their rent or

they

are

"This is the reality of Spain today. Parents can find their children taken away from them once homeless and moved miles away. We had hoped the courts would stop these evictions, but it seems it's still going on. We need as much help as possible.’’

If you’d like to help Reach Out with donated items or your time, please call 688 348 151 or 688 348 189.

THREE CHEERS AND 20 YEARS AS FOUNDERS LEAD CELEBRATIONS

ORIHUELA Costa’s civic Christmas programme features a diversity of activities right through the festive season.

The coast will benefit from two Christmas trees, one located at the Town Hall, the other at La Zenia Church.

The latter will be decorated and illuminated during an official ceremony.

Decorations and festive lighting will also be rigged up across various urbanisations.

Solidarity Campaign The Town Hall will support families in the need throughout the festive season, by contributing to the “one litre/one kilo/one Euro campaign,” in collaboration with Caritas.

Residents are asked to deliver their donations of dried/non-perishable food (rice, pasta, flour, oil ) to the International Foreign Residents office within the Town Hall at Playa Flamenca.

Toys which are in good condition will also make welcome gifts for children in need and can be left in the special “casita” mounted within the Town Hall reception.

Donations will be accepted through to December 31.

Christmas Fiesta The Entrenaranjos and Laguna Green Fiesta Committee are hosting a celebration on Sunday December 16, from 13:00 until 17:00. The event will include musical performances by “All That Jazz” at 13:00 and “Just Brass” at 15:30.

Santa Claus will be arriving to greet younger guests at 15:00. A raffle will also take place throughout the afternoon.

The bar will serve hot food and drinks, and people are asked to bring a chair and blanket to sit on.

Chanukah The Jewish Festival of Lights (Chanukah) will be celebrated on the paseo at Playa Flamenca on Saturday December 15 at 19:30. All are welcome to attend.

THE Quesada Ladies Club recently celebrated their 20th anniversary with a luncheon for 76 members – including three founder members - at Stan and Ollie’s in El Raso.

The Club was formed in 1992 with just a few members and is now a thriving group with ages ranging from 26 to 88. They meet every Tuesday afternoon at The Coopers Arms in Quesada.

The programme is varied with speakers on all topics, quizzes, entertainment, raffles and various outings.

Charity support is something members pride themselves in – having raised money for the Children’s Orphanage in Elche, Lorca Earthquake Fund, Age Concern, the Lions Torrevieja branch, Help at Home and provided food parcels for the Rojales branch of Caritas.

New members are always welcome, so if any ladies living in the surrounding areas of Quesada would like to come along any Tuesday, please do so.

Orihuela comes up with a Xmas cracker!

Carol Concert A Carol Concert will take place in Orihuela City on Saturday December 22, commencing at 17:00 and featuring a plethora of choirs and musical organisations.

FREE transport is available from Mercadona roundabout at Playa Flamenca and Entrenaranjos at 15:00, returning to both destinations from the Casino in Orihuela at 20:30.

Reserve your seat on the bus by contacting Denise Wesserling on 966 760 000 ext: 34 or via e-mail: dwesserling@orihuela.es Please give your name, the number of passengers and a contact telephone number.

New Year´s Eve The New Year Celebration will be really special, connecting live with Puerta del Sol in Madrid.

As many residents as possible are invited to join in the Spanish tradition of 12 grapes and a glass of cava at midnight.

Three Kings Parade (Saturday January 5) The Three Kings Parade will commence from the Town Hall at approximately 17:30 and follow a route to the new shopping centre, La Zenia Boulevard.

The parade will feature a variety of floats and cartoon favourites, as well as children and parents in fancy dress and accompaniment by various music groups.

Once at the shopping Centre, children will be invited to deliver their letters to the Kings before tucking into a feast of “Rosca de Reyes”, the traditional cake, and hot chocolate.

CANTABILE Singers performed to a full house at La Siesta Church last Saturday to raise funds for the church management as thanks for allowing them to use their premises for Friday rehearsals.

Unfortunately, the concert scheduled for December 16 at Sacko's Bar, El Limonar, has had to be cancelled.

A CHARITY table top sale takes place on Thursday December 20 at Chasers Indoor Play Area on the Dolores to San Fulgencio road. It’s in aid of SAT animal rescue.

AFA Alzheimer’s Association Torrevieja is available for advice and support. If you need help or advice, or feel you can contribute, please call into the AFA shop in Calle Maestro Francisco Valejos in Torrevieja, the AFA Centre in Avenida de La Estacion or by calling Matilde Sanchez on 647 119 991 or Judy Ferris on 610 082 593. Email: afatorrevieja@hotmail.com

28

Friday, December 14, 2012

UK HEADLINES

KILLED - FOR A CIGARETTE

Yob jailed for manslaughter after punch leads to death of rugby legend’s uncle The Mirror The uncle of rugby league legend Andy Farrell was killed by a yob who demanded a cigarette.

Francis Farrell, 56, (pictured)was punched in the face by David Horner, 23, after refusing to give him a smoke while walking home.

The dad-of-one fell to the floor, smashing his head on the kerb. He died in hospital three days later.

Horner, who left Mr Farrell in a pool of blood, has been sentenced to three years and four months in jail after admitting manslaughter at an earlier hearing.

Mr Farrell was the uncle of former Wigan Warriors captain Andy, 37, who was yesterday confirmed as a coach of the British Lions Rugby

Union side to tour Australia next year.

He was also the great uncle of Andy’s son Owen, 21, who plays for union side Saracens and has recently broken into

the England team.

Liverpool crown court heard Mr Farrell was killed walking home after drinking in Wigan, Greater Manchester, in the early hours of Father’s

Day in June.

Horner, also from the town, was traced after police trawled CCTV. After the case, Det Chief Insp Phil Reade said: “Francis was attacked whilst minding his own business on his way home.

“Horner, desperate for a cigarette, carried out a totally unprovoked attack which ended in tragedy.

He left Francis lying in the road, unconscious and seriously injured and carried on with his night out as though nothing had happened.”

The victim’s family said: “We cannot understand why this ¬senseless tragedy has happened.

“Our Francis, or better known as ‘France’ to his friends, was a good son, brother and uncle. He kept himself to himself and was a quiet person.”

IS IT JUST ME? N.Korea slammed A FOOTBALL fan was stunned after turning up at his team’s away match to find he was their ONLY supporter.

Loyal Arrigo Brovedani said he didn’t expect many Udinese fans to make the near 250-mile trip to Sampdoria’s 36,000 stadium to watch them on a cold December night.

But Udinese captain Antonio Di Natale appre-

ciated his backing — and jokingly asked him on to the pitch to warm up with his side.

He was also given a shirt by Sampdoria, hot coffee from the stewards — then invited for a drink with the home fans afterwards.

And after winning 2-0 Udinese dedicated their victory to him — and invited him to their next match on Saturday.

for rocket launch

NORTH Korea has fired a long-range rocket, defying international warnings and provoking outrage worldwide.

The launch has been condemned as a disguised test for long-range missile technology, magnifying the threat posed by the nuclear-armed nation.

Experts fear the rogue nation could now deliver a nuclear warhead to as far away as America.

The US branded it a "highly provocative act that threatens regional security", while UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said it was a "clear violation" of the UN resolution.

Is that Jesus darting in on the arrows?

A DARTS fan was forced to leave a live televised final – because he looked like JESUS. B e a r d e d Nathan Grindal, 33, was enjoying the match between star champ Phil Taylor and Kim Huybrechts when some of the 4,500-strong audience spotted his likeness to the son of God. Chants of "Jesus" quickly spread through the rowdy crowd, interrupting play at Butlins in Minehead, Somerset.

Security was called before six bouncers escorted upset Nathan from the Cash Converters Players' Championship, being shown on ITV4.

As he left a chant of 'Stand up if you love Jesus' broke out, with many of the boozed-up crowd getting to their feet.

Nathan, a labourer, was escorted to a nearby bar where security staff bought him a pint and told him to watch the rest of the final on the telly.

He saw the legendary Taylor win then found himself being asked to pose for signed photos with fans as they left the arena.

Nathan, who emigrated from his native Australia to Oxford six years ago, said: "I didn't go to the

darts dressed as Jesus – I went as me.

"It was all very weird and distressing. I didn't break down crying but I did get emotionally distraught. They were bullying me and picking on me, saying that I was someone else.

"It would have been okay if the security hadn't made a fuss getting me out of the arena.”

Nathan, who began growing his beard four months ago, had booked a three-day stay at Butlins earlier this month with five pals to watch the darts.

He added: “In his postmatch interview, Phil Taylor said something like 'if I ever see Jesus again, I'll crucify him myself.' Now that's just hurtful.

"I love darts, but I'm worried about ever going to see it live again, just in case the crowd turns on me like they did last time."

Friday, December 14, 2012

UK HEADLINES

Psy’s the limit: Gangnam dad drops dead

29

FROM NET BET TO JET SET...

John scoops record £5.8m for 30p

The Mirror

A DAD-OF-THREE collapsed and died from a heart attack at his office Christmas party - after dancing to Gangnam Style. Eamonn Kilbride, 46, complained of chest pains and keeled over after performing the vigorous horse riding-style moves to Korean pop sensation Psy’s number one hit.

His wife Julie, who was also celebrating her birthday at the party in Darwen, Lancashire, tried desperately to revive him with CPR. Paramedics were also unable to save Mr Kilbride and he was pronounced dead as he arrived at Royal Blackburn Hospital at around 11.30pm on Saturday.

Tests revealed the Irishman, who lived with his family in Burnley, suffered acute heart failure.

The tragedy occurred at the Whitehall Country Club in Darwen at the Christmas party for Thwaites brewery, where Mr Kilbride was an IT manager.

Mrs Kilbride, his wife of 23 years, paid tribute to a “loving husband” who always put his family first.

She said: "I want people to know how he would help anybody whether it was a life-long friend, or someone he had just met. He was a great family man and he

worked so hard.

“Eamonn was always the life of the party and loved dancing. We were having a fantastic time at the Christmas party and Eamonn had just finished dancing to Gangnam Style.

He was on stage and entertaining everybody.

"He said he had a bit of a pain and just collapsed. I tried to revive him until the ambulance got there, but by the time he got to the hospital he was gone."

Mr Kilbride moved to Burnley from Ireland in 1985 and was a staunch Liverpool fan.

He had been the manager of Burnley Boys Club Old Boys football team, winning the division with them in 2004.

Mrs Kilbride said: "Eamonn was such an intelligent man. He inspired our children and made sure they had a good education. He loved me dearly and would tell people all the time.

"I know he thought the world of us."

Mr Kilbride, a keen golfer, had three children, Laurajade, 22, Jack, 21, and Conor, 18, who are all at university.

Jack said: “He was a marvellous man and he was really funny. He always put effort into everything. He just oozed charisma.”

A PUNTER has won a record online bingo jackpot of £5.8MILLION — after staking just 30p.

Dad-of-four John Orchard, 60, said in Long Sutton, Lincs: “I couldn’t believe it. I was going to get my daughter an iPad for Christmas. Now I can buy her a new house.”

Lucky John even plans to join the jet set by buying a Jaguar supercar — after scooping £5,883,044.43 in the biggest online bingo win ever.

The amazing recordbreaking punt allows him to swap his tiny Renault Clio for a swish £40,000 Jag XF and live the millionaire lifestyle.

But although he learned of the win four days earlier, gobsmacked John has been waiting until Thursday to resign from his job — because he just could not believe his good fortune.

He placed the 30p bet on Sunday morning on a wheel of fortune-style game, in which the jackpot increased progressively as gamblers from around the world placed their stakes. Then he realised he had landed the jackpot — but did not tell his wife Linda until later that day.

Jobcentre worker John said yesterday: “I just couldn’t believe I’d won it.

This will change my life completely and Christmas is going to be a blinder this

year.

“I was looking at working for another five years at the Jobcentre — but not any longer.”

John and Linda, who have three grandchildren, went to tell their daughter of the win on Sunday night, but still did not crack open a bottle to celebrate because it had not sunk in.

And when the internet gambling firm rang to confirm John’s win, he insisted they speak to Linda — because she thought it was a “wind-up”.

She was assured: “You’re wealthy people now.”

Even then, John admitted: “It didn’t seem real until the man came around

with the big cheque yesterday.”

Ian O’Farrell, head of promotions at Butlers Bingo.com, said last night: “We are thrilled to be a record-breaker and pay out the biggest online bingo win ever.

“We cannot wait to deposit the £5,883,044.43 into John’s bank account.”

So far the Jag is John’s only big purchase. He and his family are visiting Centerparcs this weekend to celebrate the big win and discuss what to do with the rest of the money.

Next year is his and Linda’s 25th wedding anniversary and they are determined to celebrate it in style.

They also plan to visit their great-granddaughter in Canada.

The family moved to Long Sutton ten years ago, after the factory that John ran was closed and production moved to China.

He said: “We wanted to cut our big mortgage — so we stuck a pin in the map and ended up here.”

This year a US Marine won £1.7million on a fruit machine in Las Vegas.

Previous biggest bingo wins both happened in 2008. Soraya Lowell, 38, won £1.2m in Lanarkshire, Scotland, and Christine Bradfield, 53, won £1.1million in Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

SPANISH NEWS

THE CATS’ CLAWS

Thousands take to streets in in language protest THOUSANDS of people in 60 Catalan municipalities marched on Monday against the central government's plans for education reform -- calling it "the greatest attack" on the region's linguistic freedom since Spain's return to democracy.

The largest march was in Barcelona, where police estimated that some 4,500 people gathered in what is already viewed as the first of many public demonstrations of outrage to come. Around 25 nationalist and pro-independence groups were behind the initiative, which attracted political leaders from the leftist ERC party, the conservative nationalist CiU bloc and the Catalan Socialists (PSC).

Protest organizers decried the "retrograde" and "recentralizing" nature of an "educational counter-reformation." A spokesperson for a pro-Catalan umbrella group

MAR MENOR MURDERS SOLVED IN 48 HOURS

By SALLY BENGTSSON

called Somescola.cat said that Education Minister José Ignacio Wert suffers from "a morbid, pre-constitutional obsession" with the Catalan language, which was persecuted under Franco.

Some of the marchers were old enough to remember those days. "Now that we have managed to normalize

Catalan, we cannot go back," said Salvador Llos, 68, adding that under Franco some people gave private Catalan lessons inside apartments as a way to keep the language alive.

Another marcher, Josep Gaya, 55, defended civil disobedience. "What other solution is there if the central gov-

ernment tramples the laws that we have agreed to in our Parlament [the regional assembly]?"

At the heart of the protest is the future Organic Law for the Improvement of the Quality of Education, or LOMCE for short. Wert says he wants to bring Castilian Spanish to the same level as regional languages like Basque or Catalan, which since the advent of democracy have been given priority in their respective regions.

Among other things, he said he wants to ensure that parents wishing to school their children chiefly in Spanish at a nearby public school or a colegio concertado (privately run, publicly funded center) can do so, or else be offered free tuition at a private school.

Currently, elementary and high school education is offered in Catalan, with Spanish taught as a secondary language for a few hours each week. Wert's reform calls for a "balanced proportion" between both, without providing any specifics.

THE discovery of the blood-covered bodies of an elderly couple shocked Santiago de la Ribera last Thursday.

José Antonio Ríos and Josefina Medrín, aged 81 and 82, had been stabbed to death just a few roads back from the tranquil waters of the Mar Menor.

They were found by their Bolivian home help and the macabre news spread across the sleepy town like wildfire, putting fear into their elderly neighbours.

At first it appeared that the murder motive had been robbery.

However, police were puzzled that such brutality had been used as Josefina was bedridden and her husband very fragile.

The suspicion of officers that the couple probably knew their attacker proved to be true when their 28-yearold nephew, identified by his initials J.M.R.C., owned up to the double murder on Sunday morning after seven hours of questioning.

I stabbed old couple to death admits nephew He admitted killing his uncle because he wouldn’t tell him where his money was, then killed his aunt so she wouldn’t be left on her own. He said a heated argument had led to his aggression.

His uncle was a wellloved member of the community, known as Jose Antonio the Painter.

J.M.R.C., who also lives in Santiago de la Ribera, denied the crime at first, but caved in after questioning at the town’s Guardia Civil headquarters. He was seen arriving at his uncle and aunt’s home on his bicycle by some of the neighbours.

Friday, December 14, 2012

SPANISH NEWS

PP Deputy quits CHILD PORN: POLICE IN as blackmail SWOOP ON probe hots up DVD PERVS

ONE of the Popular Party’s congressional deputies for Madrid, Santiago Cervera, resigned from his post on Monday after being detained for his alleged implication in a blackmail case.

It involved the president of the Caja Navarra bank, José Antonio Asiáin.

Cervera said his resignation was based primarily on his intention to face any possible charges through regular channels, given that his status as a deputy would grant him immunity in lower-level courts.

The president of Caja Navarra reported a case of attempted blackmail to the Civil Guard on Wednesday.

On Sunday morning, Cervera was arrested for his alleged involvement in

the plan, and was released after making a statement, the Diario de Navarra reported.

Asiáin apparently claimed that an unknown person demanded the payment of 25,000 euros in exchange for keeping quiet about sensitive information regarding his work at a firm of lawyers.

The Civil Guard then set up a unit in the area where the anonymous person had demanded that the money be left, leaving an envelope in the location as bait.

It was there that PP politician Santiago Cervera appeared, and was subsequently arrested by the officers.

Speaking on Monday on announcing his resigna-

tion as both a deputy and PP party member, Cervera said: “I am innocent of whatever they might accuse me of. I have committed no offences, nor have I blackmailed or threatened anyone, I have become a victim of what I may be charged with and I believe I know the reasons for which I have been chosen as a victim.”

Cervera said he would not be going into more details, given that in his opinion, he will soon have to explain what he believes has happened in the courts.

The politician said that his decision was “an act of political integrity, because it is right that we show that we are not bound to our posts.”

CHIEFS OF BAILED-OUT CAM ACCUSED OF EMBEZZLING FUNDS THE former director general of Caja Mediterráneo (CAM) and the chief of its business divisions diverted funds from the lender to tax havens for their own profit and that of their associates, according to a lawsuit presented at the High Court by the current board.

Roberto López Abad and Daniel Gil Mallebrera stand accused of siphoning funds from the lender through Valfensal, a tourism promotion company 30-percent owned by CAM. The other 70 percent is controlled by

hotel group Mar Confort, headed by Juan Vicente Ferri.

CAM was bailed out by the state subsequently nationalized after an audit by Deloitte. Included in the suit, the Deloitte report states that Ferri warned Gil that giving out information on Valfensal "could see you jailed."

Both Gil and López Abad, as well as the state Orderly Bank Restructuring Fund (FROB), which provided the funds for the CAM bailout, accuse Ferri and José Salvador Baldó, partners in

Mar Confort, of embezzlement and fraudulent administration.

According to Deloitte, the four executives enjoyed "a notable personal and commercial proximity." The FROB complaint states that the directors benefited from "an obscure zone of management" that allowed them to lend money to Valfensal without projects without CAM requesting any independent evaluation of the deals. The FROB has identified five projects that were financed in this way.

Brits among 28 held in Internet probe SPANISH police have arrested 28 people, including four in Alicante, and charged 10 others in connection with an international child pornography network. Two of those held are British.

DVDs sold through the Toronto-based network via three websites have been distributed to 94 countries $1.6 million-a-year racket, according to the Spanish Ministry of the Interior. Two of the arrested men were British.

The investigation began when Interpol passed on information from Toronto police to Spanish authorities about the network, which had been in operation since 2004. Many of the DVD purchases on the web came from Spain, said the ministry, and some users had spent thousands of dollars. The police tracked the purchases back to the addresses from which they were made.

The videos were made by

exploiting boys aged 11 to 16 from Spain, the Ukraine, Romania and Germany.

Most of the children have been identified and rescued in their respective countries, said the ministry. However, the operation rescued 19 youngsters who were being held against their will - 14 in Madrid and 5 in Alicante.

Some of the individuals arrested are also accused of recording their own child pornography, or attempting to pay or force minors into sex.

In addition to the arrests, police seized several video cameras, computers, hard drives, mobile phones and USB keys.

At least one million photographs of child pornography are believed to be on the Internet, with an additional 50,000 being posted every year, according to Cecilia Malmstrom, the European Union’s commissioner for home affairs.

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SCHOOL FASCIST SALUTE A VIDEO of two five-aside soccer teams at a state-subsidized private school in Alicante making the fascist salute has caused uproar after it emerged on the web.

The incident occurred in 2010. The national anthem, with the words in use during the Franco regime, was played and both sides raised their arms in unison.

“These images are running like wildfire across the social networks,” Esther López Barceló, a United Left deputy said. Barceló called for an “immediate” investigation into the incident.

Education Ministry sources said the matter would be looked into but that as the school is private it has “no authority over the teaching staff; the school board will have to act if they consider it to be opportune.”

A spokesman for the Nuestra Señora de Carmen de Orihuela school issued a statement saying it would not comment “until we have met with the board of directors.”

“Schools, whether they are private or public, cannot tolerate any sort of fascist statement,” said López Barceló.

Noting that the video is “home-made, not official,” the education councilor in Orihuela, Rosa Martínez, said that she would be asking for explanations from the board of

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Friday, December 14, 2012

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 The only way you would follow your intuition is if it were wearing a short skirt and spiked heels. Listen to what that little voice is saying, and next time it won’t have to use the taser to get your attention.

Your cup runneth over, yet all you can think about is the wet carpet. Relax and enjoy your blessings; maybe you’ll get a ShamWow for Christmas.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and other times a rabid monkey swings in, kicks the pieces and smacks you with the game board. Stick with Words With Friends and you won’t have to remove a tiny metal car from your nostril again.

Nothing says ‘love’ like diamonds. But if your wallet has gone mute, settle for a cola and a burger.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 When one door closes, another door opens. But if karma only slides the door a couple of inches to taunt you, put on your best biker boots and kick that sucker down. You finally become fed up with a sticky situation on Friday, and you take matters into your own hands. Patience is a virtue, but chasing someone around with a sharpened candy cane just feels good.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 You receive a blessing in disguise, but you won’t know it until the fake moustache falls off. Give a tug on that wig, too, unless you want another surprise. If the answer is blowin’ in the wind, imagine what it would do for a Mars bar. Ask a few skanky questions until you find out, and your week will perk up considerably.

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 News flash: life is not perfect. It’s loud, rude, pees on the carpet, drinks your beer and uses your last five euros to buy lottery tickets. But there’s also joy in that chaos, so loosen up before it tinkles on your other shoe. You thought you were following the Yellow Brick Road; turns out you’ve been tracking a pack of sled dogs and drunk football fans through the snow.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 It’s fine to be organised, but you’ve even labeled your labelmakers and filed them according to size. Get out of the house before you start alphabetising the shows on your DVR. Go have a drink; alcohol usually fixes any nasty problems with orderliness.

You have all the right moves, and someone else has the perfect beat. You may not make beautiful music together, but at least you’ll burn a few calories and hours.

Libra September 23 - October 22 If you’re going to sit on Santa’s lap in that outfit, at least make it quick so he doesn’t have anything embarrassing to explain to the reindeer. On the bright side, you could get a load of goodies in your stocking this year. Even the quiet moments in life have something to teach us. Namely, don’t fall asleep after you’ve bought the kids the mega-variety pack of markers.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 You know there are more fish in the sea, you’re just afraid they’re all hammerhead sharks. Be brave and dangle your tackle in the water anyway; you could score a sleek, sexy eel. If the moon hits your eye, it could be a-moray. Life isn’t for the timid.

You have to grab it, goose it and shake it up a bit to make it dazzling.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Confucius said it doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you don’t stop.

Sounds like he battled a few Black Friday crowds, too. Be careful if you plan to use some kung fu moves to land that cheap TV, because security cams catch everything these days. Good news, your boss says you can come back to work once the hallucinations have stopped.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Some people wait for their prince or princess, but not you. If you’re going to build your booty call in true Weird Science-style, remember to buy lots of batteries. If you play to win you get a trophy; play to lose, a payoff. But if you play to confuse, then you experience to joy of watching everyone’s befuddlement.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Beauty isn’t always in the eye of the beholder; sometimes it’s just in the touch.

Grab your sweetie and set aside a weekend for the laying on of hands so you both can feel beautiful. Sweaty, but beautiful. Forget chocolates: life is more like a basket of lollipops. Some will suck and others will end up stuck in your hair.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 You’re not used to smooth sailing, which may be why you’re flapping around in the water like an agitated seal. Relax. There’s no need to make waves, the universe has plenty in stock. Others view you as hapless Charlie Brown, but in reality, you’re the kite in the tree. You may not be flying right now, but you can see your house from up there.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Meet the Super Sky Cycle THE flying car is starting to look a lot less like a dream and much more like a feasible reality – we’ve actually lost track of the number of current concepts – so much so that other forms of wheel transport are now trying to get in on the act.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you: the flying trike.

a truly homemade aircraft – some of the bolt holes are deliberately undersized so that you have to re-drill them, completing the ruse – avoiding otherwise pesky regulations.

This thing is going to kill me, isn’t it?

Is the Super Sky Cycle really a flying motorbike?

No kidding. This device – we resisted the temptation to call it a contraption – is a bona fide three-wheeled motorcycle that you can really ride on the street, but one that just happens to have a set of rotor blades as well. It’s called the Super Sky Cycle.

Naturally.

The Super Sky Cycle doesn’t look much like a motorbike to me Ok, ok – it’s actually more accurate to describe the Super Sky Cycle as a gyroplane that happens to have powered wheels than a motorbike which can fly. But that doesn’t detract from the reality that it is legally allowed to do both. Or at least, it is when it’s at home in the USA.

How old is the Super Sky Cycle?

The Super Sky Cycle has been in development since 2005, and is the brainchild of

Larry Neal, a man who already produces several gyroplanes under the Buttefly Aircraft brand. It’s entirely genuine, and you can have one yourself for $74,995 (that’s around £46,500 right now).

That isn’t to say it’s actually unsafe.

Assuming you follow the instructions correctly it should be remarkably resilient to plummeting of the stone-like variety, as the upper rotors aren’t actually powered – so if the flying engine fails you’ll float back down to the ground. More gently than a parachute, apparently.

There’s a catch, isn’t there?

I’m sorry – you’re saying the rotors aren’t powered?

Alright, so there is a catch: you’ve kind of got to build it yourself – but that’s ok, because Butterfly Aircraft will provide you with all the necessary bits and bobs.

There’s even an options list, which includes the rather fetching wheel “pants” pictured here (though you’ll have to do the painting if you want a similarly attractive flame motif).

This may require some additional explanation. Unlike a helicopter with its powered top blades, a gyroplane relies on forward momentum to get into the sky. A secondary (powered) rotor pushes it forward until the unpowered upper rotor gains enough momentum to achieve lift. Should th the momentum cease, it should just gradually

Why do I have to build the Super Sky Cycle myself?

We’re not entirely au fait gyroplane regulation, but as far as we can make out building it yourself means it can be registered as

descend. Simples.

Does this mean I can’t just take off from a traffic jam?

There is a “rotator” motor, which acts a little like a starter motor to speed up this process, but this design does mean you are going to need to rely on a run up to get airborne. Fortunately, the other engine powering the wheels ought to help with this.

So how powerful is the Super Sky Cycle?

The flight engine is a 115hp turbocharged Rotax aircraft engine, while ground-based motivation is provided by a 30hp MZ34 engine. So it won’t be setting any land speed records, but is it apparently capable of 100mph in the air. Which sounds like it would be more than fast enough, under the circumstances.

What kind of licence do I need for the Super Sky Cycle?

You’ll need to double up on licences to operate the flying motorbike, as it requires both a pilot’s permit and a driving licence.

The landing gear is good enough to allow a rolling touchdown, though – so you can potentially merge with traffic, only from above – and the tyres are entirely road legal.

How do I place an order for a Super Sky Cycle?

The folding rotors mean you can even store it in the garage. Convinced? Then you’ll want to get in touch with Butterfly Aircraft via its website, where you can also download an order form. We’ll look out for you on the commute.

Bizarre de-icing habits UK motorists are resorting to bizarre methods to clear the ice from their car windscreens BRITISH motorists are resorting to unconventional methods to de-ice their windscreen on chilly mornings – and some of them risk expensive damage, experts have warned.

At the moment, Britain is in the midst of a cold spell which, depending on who you talk to, could last until well into February. And with the cold weather brings ice, snow and frozen cars. Which in turn plays host to a dawn chorus that’s as common as the sound of an unwelcome alarm clock. The sound of ice being scraped from a car’s windscreen.

But just how many of us really know how to de-ice a windscreen? No, it’s not a trick question, as research conducted by Autoglym suggests that motorists are using a variety of methods to remove ice from their windscreens. Not all of them to be recommended.

Nearly a quarter of us have used a credit card, with as many as 29% of people resorting to using their hands as makeshift icescrapers. If nothing else, this sounds like a form of icy torture.

Alarmingly, more than 15% of those surveyed admitted to using boiling water to melt the ice, putting it the windscreen at risk of shattering due to the sudden change in temperature. A rather expensive start to the day.

The survey questioned over 1,000 motorists of all ages to identify the substitutes used in place of a traditional icescraper. Answers included alcoholic drinks, spatulas, books, clothes and even CD

cases. At best this is foolish, at worst it could potentially damage the windscreen or rubber seals.

Sadly the research didn’t mention the countless drivers who feel that a tiny gap in the ice is enough for them to get moving in the morning. Driving with ice still obscuring the windscreen and side windows is both dangerous and puts the driver at risk of being stopped by the police.

Naturally, Autoglym suggests that using anything other than a good quality de-icing solution or ice scraper will not effectively remove the ice. It’s sounds advice, though.

The firm also suggests: * Carrying a proper ice scraper and a full strength de-icer to clear ice from windscreen, mirrors, wipers and locks * Not driving until the front and rear screen side windows are clear of ice. It’s illegal to drive with poor visibility * Increasing the strength of your car’s screenwash to prevent it from freezing * cleaning your car to prevent a build-up of dirt * Protecting your car by using a good quality wax or polish We found ice-scrapers for sale online for as little as 99p, which looks to be far better value than forking out for a cracked windscreen or the price of phoning your bank for a new credit card.

And you’ll look a lot less foolish using an ice-scraper than you would using a spatula or Daniel O’Donnell’s Christmas hits CD.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Black cab hot spot TRANSPORT for London has just given approval for a new high-speed wifi service to be rolled out using the iconic London black cab.

Back in 2010, Boris Johnson promised to make London one of the most tech-friendly cities in the world. Central to this plan was a vision to turn the city into one massive wifi hotspot, with bus stops, lamp posts and, you suspect, litter bins all playing host to wireless routers.

The new black cab wifi service means we’re a step closer to achieving Boris’s goal.

The free service, appropriately named CabWifi will provide passengers with 15 minutes of free internet access after they have watched a 15 second advert.

The driver will also have access to the service via a separate login, helping to offset the cost of using data whilst out and about: some drivers claim their phone bills have doubled in recent months.

The system works by turning 3G and 4G mobile connectivity into a wifi hotspot for passengers. The ‘ads for access’ approach is a well known model, used on the likes of Spotify and YouTube. As it’s vehiclebased, it should overcome the traditional issues associ-

ated with mobile on the move, such as regular connection drop offs.

With dwell times averaging 15 minutes in the back of a taxi, this should give commuters and tourists ample time to update their Facebook status, send a few tweets or surf the net without being hit by data roaming charges.

The scheme is expected to roll-out early in 2013. It looks

like an extremely good idea and one suspects that taxis fitted with CabWifi will be in greater demand than those without. According to the The Wall St Journal, of the 24,000 cabs in London, 10% have signed up to the scheme.

It’s hard to see any downsides to this initiative. Just don’t forget to leave the cab when you reach your destination…

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Friday, December 14, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 5 represents W and 26 represents F, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Acknowledged Kent had changed (7) 5 Company business, a hot drink maybe (5) 8 Turning straw will result in skin blemishes (5) 9 Explosive reformation or edict (7) 10 Checks wet periods after the holiday (9) 12 Without a match in a good deal (3) 13 Sweet little thing (6) 14 Order custody for man involved with a communist (6) 17 Nice finish desired by skaters (3) 18 Small bird the Italian lecturer ate to stimulate the senses (9) 20 Run and talk pompously about exercise (7) 21 A tricky question for a model at work (5) 23 River in industrial heartland (5) 24 Clients redesigned designing tool (7)

Down 1 One who drags behind a tall structure (5) 2 A tune from Tony Blair's collection (3) 3 Makes trellis to cage bird (7) 4 'God without end' admitting church is fake (6) 5 Likes endless caress (5) 6 A small sausage is unfamiliar to a caliph (9) 7 Got better after the morning was over (7) 11 Pigman is red when distressed (9) 13 In Lebanon, I entered another port and left before one (7) 15 Better sun block (7) 16 The remaining ones from 'The Brothers Karamazov' (6) 18 Takes in the faulty parts (5) 19 All of a sudden rolling in to register (5) 22 It's how it was written, not well by the sound of it (3)

STANDARD CLUES

Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ace All And Gin Kin Oil Pie Too Vie Yam 4 letter words Ajar Ands Ants Area

Aria Best Bier Blab Bode Cyan Drey Elks Étui Fame Flag Frog Gyms Iron Lace Lava Meat Need

Nova Ores Oval Poem Raja Roes Scab Serb Sews Snag 5 letter words Alder Arise Aunts Blond Creak Elder

Elves Evict Eyrie Order Scram Sorel Stood Tiara Token Tonic Wains Yearn 6 letter words Corner Direct Hymned Larder

Ripple Segued 7 letter words Foreman Galleon Garland Grandpa Rearing Rivulet Roguery Running Scarves Threats 8 letter words Creepers Roommate

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

Across

Down

1 Debacle (6) 4 Abyss (5) 8 Diminutive (5) 9 Give details (7) 10 Principled (7) 11 Defeat (4) 12 Aged (3) 14 Edge (4) 15 Inactive (4) 18 Young male (3) 21 Region (4) 23 Cost (7) 25 Physical attractiveness (7) 26 Spools (5) 27 Sugary (5) 28 Entered (4,2)

1 Rankle (6) 2 One more (7) 3 Underground cave (8) 4 Manage (4) 5 Conscious (5) 6 Microscopic (6) 7 Stringed instrument (5) 13 Scatter (8) 16 Merciful (7) 17 Traditional Scottish dish (6) 19 Desire (5) 20 Think logically (6) 22 Rub out (5) 24 Mainly (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Slug, 3 Prospect, 9 Impress, 10 Ample, 11 Merge, 12 Sieges, 14 Shares, 16 Fossil, 19 Fondle, 21 Taste, 24 Atone, 25 Operate, 26 Resolved, 27 Mess.

Down: 1 Skirmish, 2 Upper, 4 Resist, 5 Stare, 6 Express, 7 Tree, 8 Recede, 13 Clueless, 15 Amorous, 17 Outlet, 18 Before, 20 Dwell, 22 Spare, 23 Lair.

Scribble Pad

1 Rise upward (5) 2 Atmosphere (3) 1 Express gratitude (7) 3 Small falcon (7) 5 Hot chocolate (5) 4 Duplicity (6) 8 Skin blemishes (5) 5 Concerns (5) 9 Explosive compound (7) 6 Small thin sausage (9) 10 Holds (9) 7 Made changes to (7) 12 Peculiar (3) 11 Pig man (9) 13 British dessert (6) 13 Capital of Libya (7) 14 Send back (6) 15 Occultation (7) 17 Solid water (3) 16 Alternatives (6) 18 Excite pleasurably (9) 18 Snares (5) 20 Function (7) 19 Recruit (5) 21 Conundrum (5) 22 Intentionally so written 23 Asian river (5) (3) 24 Designing tool (7) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Replicas, 7 Peace, 8 Barcarole, 9 Kit, 10 Neon, 11 Stains, 13 Prefer, 14 Pastor, 17 Script, 18 Rags, 20 See, 22 Sartorial, 23 Nooks, 24 Bandaged.

Down: 1/21 Robin Hood, 2 Purpose, 3 Imam, 4 Adopts, 5 Barks, 6 Leather, 7 Pelican, 12 Redress, 13 Persons, 15 Tearing, 16 Sparta, 17 Sepoy, 19 Salad.

Across

Down

6 Good Friday (7,5) 8 Arrival (of person, letter etc) (7) 9 Guante (5) 10 Dawn (4) 12 Strawberries (6) 14 Pasteles (dulces) (5) 15 To close (shut) (6) 16 Over there (4) 19 Wagon (horse-drawn) (5) 21 Promedio (7) 22 Recetas (medicina) (12)

1 Diciembre (8) 2 To walk (5) 3 Ensayo (escuela) (5) 4 Tejones (7) 5 Other (4) 6 Christmas carol (10) 7 Periódicos (10) 11 Coche (3) 12 Ugly (appearance, person) (3) 13 Soldiers (8) 14 Fourteen (7) 17 Bay (5) 18 Basket (5) 20 Strange (4)

37

Friday, December 14, 2012 Across 1 What was the name of the famous rock and roll club situated on Mathew Street in Liverpool where the Beatles first appeared on February 9, 1961? (6) 4 According the title of her 1964 top 10 hit single, what was the name of Millie’s ‘boy’?

(8) 9 What name is often given to a small elongated insect with a pair of terminal appendages that resemble pincers? (6) 10 Which small lyre-shaped musical instrument is held between the teeth and struck with a finger? (4,4) 12 What name is often applied to a flag with three bands or blocks of different colours, especially the French national flag with equal upright bands of blue, white, and red? (8) 13 Which adjective means ‘having or showing deep religious feeling or commitment’?

(6) 15 The songs Aquarius, Ain’t Got No and I Got Life all featured in which 1967 ‘American Tribal Love-Rock Musical’? (4) 16 What was the title of the first UK number one hit single by pianist Russ Conway? (4,6) 19 Which legendary figure

with mythical, historical and folkloric origins, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve? (5,5) 20 What is the stage name of Michael Balzary, the bass player with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? (4) 23 Love’s Gotta Hold on Me, I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Mirror Mirror (Mon Amour) and Give Me Back My Heart were all UK top hit singles for which 1970s/80s pop duo? (6) 25 Which viscous liquid with strong oxidising properties, a powerful bleaching agent is also used (in aqueous solutions) as a mild disinfectant and (in strong concentrations) as an oxidant in rocket fuels?

(8) 27 Billy Bigelow, Julie Jordan, Jigger Craigin, Carrie Pipperidge and Cousin Nettie are all characters from which 1956 Rodgers and Hammerstein film musical? (8) 28 What is the stage name of English magician Steven Frayne? (6) 29 What was the former name of the large territory in central southern Africa that was divided into what is now Zambia

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

and Zimbabwe? (8) 30 What name is often given to a ‘short journey undertaken in order to deliver or collect something, especially on

someone else’s behalf’? (6)

Down 1 Which large slender spotted cat found in Africa and parts of Asia is the fastest animal on

land? (7) 2 Which brilliant red pigment is made from mercury sulphide (cinnabar)? (9) 3 What is the nickname of the current rugby league Super League champions? (6) 5 Which river of central Europe rises in the mountains in the east of the Czech Republic and flows northwards through western Poland to meet the River Neisse, then continues northwards forming the northern part of the border between Poland and Germany before flowing into the Baltic Sea? (4) 6 Which US city in southern Nevada is noted for its casinos and nightclubs? (3,5) 7 With which instrument would you principally associate the jazz musicians Art Tatum, Herbie Hancock, Thelonious Monk and Fats Waller? (5) 8 Which slender tube attached to or incorporating a bulb is used for transferring or measuring out small quantities of liquid, especially in a laboratory? (7) 11 Which powerfully built great ape with a large head and short neck, found in the forests of central Africa, is the

largest living primate? (7) 14 In the Roman Catholic Church, what name is given to a Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead? (7) 17 Meaning ‘ocean monk’, what title is given to the spiritual head of Tibetan Buddhism and, until the establishment of Chinese communist rule, the spiritual and temporal ruler of Tibet? (5,4) 18 Which powerful breed of dog with a thick, grey coat, was bred by the Inuit and used to pull sledges? (8) 19 Which cocktail is made of orange liqueur with lemon juice and brandy? (7) 21 The name of which type of barometer that measures air pressure by the action of the air in deforming the elastic lid of an evacuated box is derived from the Greek for ‘without ‘water’? (7) 22 What name is given to a person who makes or sells archers’ bows? (6) 24 In music, what name is given to a composition or passage that is to be performed in a ‘slow and dignified manner’?

(5) 26 What was the pen name of the British short-story writer Hector Hugh Munro? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH AMISTAD - FRIENDSHIP Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

amar

la novia

apoyar

la risa

compartir

pasarlo bien

confiar

promesa

el compañero

siempre

el novio

una amiga

escuchar

un amigo

estar juntos

un cuate

juntos

un regalo

la broma

un secreto

history QUIZ

ANSWERS: 1. Gypsy Rose Lee 2. Four Years 3. 120 4.

Boston Tea Party 5. Norwegian 6. 116 Years 7. 30 day booze up 8. Los Angeles 9. The Whigs 10. Beaver 11.

China 12. St. Linus 13. Alexander the Great 14. 1922

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Lincoln Memorial, 9 Pom-pom, 10 Veracruz, 11 Gendarme, 14 Discus, 17 Nursery rhymes, 20 Embellishment, 23 Dubbin, 25 Colander, 28 Nagasaki, 29 Regina, 30 Middle Of The Road.

Down: 2 Isomer, 3 Cupid, 4 Lemur, 5 Movie, 6 Mirador, 7 Rucks, 8 Lazy Susan, 12 April, 13 Mbeki, 15 Comet, 16 Pseudonym, 17 Nabob, 18 Yahoo, 19 Hyena, 21 Lineage, 22 Hernia, 24 Brand, 25 Cliff, 26 Lurch, 27 Niger.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.amar, 2.apoyar, 3.compartir,

19.un regalo, 20.un secreto.

m.a mate, n.a present,

4.confiar, 5.el compañero,

a.always, b.together,

o.a female friend,

6.el novio, 7.escuchar, 8.estar

c.the girlfriend, d.to listen,

p.a male friend, q.to trust,

juntos, 9.juntos, 10.la broma,

e.the boyfriend, f.to love,

r.the joke, s.to have a good

11.la novia, 12.la risa,

g.to share, h.a secret,

time, t.to support

13.pasarlo bien, 14.la promesa,

i.the promise, j.the laughter,

15.siempre, 16.una amiga,

k.to be together,

17.un amigo, 18.un cuate,

l.the companion/colleague,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1f, 2t, 3g, 4d, 5l, 6e, 7d, 8k, 9b, 10r, 11c, 12j, 13s, 14i, 15a, 16o, 17p, 18m, 19n, 20h.

1. Which famous whore said 'God is love but get it in writing'?

2. How Long Was The American Civil War? 3. How Many Pilgrims Were Aboard The Mayflower?

4. Where Was A Famous (Tea Party) Held In 1773?

5. What nationality was Thor Heyerdahl?

6. How Long Was The Hundred Years War? 7. How did Attila the Hun die on his honeymoon?

8. What city was John F. Kennedy nominated for president in?

9. When The Conservative Party Were Known As Tories Who Were Their Chief Opponents?

10. What animal's teeth were used as knife blades by the Indians?

11. Which country invented the mariner's compass?

12. St. Peter was the first Pope. Who was second?

13. Whose last words were 'I am Dying with the help of too many physicians'?

14. In What Year Was The Tomb Of Tutankhamen Discovered?

Fill It In

38

Friday, December 14, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY It’s home James - with no Maloney baloney!

with ALEX TRELINSKI I WAS very pleased to see James Arthur win The X Factor, but would have been just as happy to see Jahmene Douglas get the victory.

They both ooze talent, and I let out a loud yelp of delight when cruise-ship singer Christopher Maloney was dumped from the final showdown on Saturday night.

Nicole Scherzinger has proved a likeable mentor and has been a real star, but next year’s run needs to have Simon Cowell back calling the shots, with the weekend final ratings the worst in some seven years.

Some UK papers called the figures disastrous, but 11 million viewers on a Sunday night is, as a matter of comparison, a couple of million more than, say, Downton Abbey gets. So let’s not get too hysterical. There’s

plenty of life in the show yet!

I don’t often watch GOLD, the comedy archive channel, but I’ve been making sure to catch their offering Bring Me Morecambe and Wise. They were a unique duo and their material is still just as funny as when I first watched it.

This five-part series, narrated by Victoria Wood (who wrote the wonderful play Eric and Ernie last year) is a treasure trove of delights. Yes, we get the classics with the

q

likes of Andre Previn, but the producers have made a real effort to unearth some rare nuggets, along with interviews with family, friends and fans.

I’d completely forgotten Dame Flora Robson’s appearance on the show, as well as that wonderful tango Vanessa Redgrave danced with the guys. The comments are sharp and illuminating from the interviews and I’ve learnt a lot about why and how Eric and Ernie were the greatest.

I’m certain that GOLD will repeat this series on many future occasions, and it’s worthy of your attention as the finest tribute I’ve seen to these comedy legends.

Two fascinating “fly on the wall” documentary series that are running on BBC 2 at the moment. Inside Claridge’s is an illuminating insight into one of London’s most famous hotels. The vast amounts of money spent by the guests to stay there is just unbelievable, along with the way the hotel panders to virtually their every whim.

Money talks and they’ll even re-decorate the rooms and change all the furnishings if the pound notes come out.

Joan Collins was one of the guests fawned over on Monday’s programme, but perhaps I’m just jealous that I can’t afford the £7,000 a night penthouse suite.

q

q

Meanwhile tonight (Friday), BBC 2 has the second of its inside looks at the workings of Westminster Abbey. The first show featured a lot of the young choristers, all of whom seemed to talk posh and looked like school-scene extras from the early sixties classic, Village of the Damned. I learnt a lot about the workings of a great British institution, yet everybody seemed to be so nice and easy-going. Surely that can’t be the case in real life when the cameras stop rolling? I was just dying for the Dean, John Hall, to let slip with a naughty word and, as with the team at Claridge’s, I wondered whether some of them had a grip on what life is really like in this cruel old world of ours.

The Town is an intriguing little drama which ends this Wednesday

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on ITV1. It lurches between black comedy and something pretty serious, and though I’ve not been quite sure about it, I certainly won’t miss the final episode. I can certainly recognise Martin Clunes’ turn as the drunk and naughty Mayor from certain people I knew back in the UK! I also think that if the BBC or Channel Four had done it, we would have had a couple of more episodes to flesh things out.

In this dreadful year for losing great TV names, look out for a BBC2 tribute to Clive Dunn tomorrow night, and I’m sure there must be one in the pipeline for the great Patrick Moore, who I first came across as a young viewer in the sixties, as he gushed bucket loads of enthusiasm during the BBC coverage of the Apollo moonshots.

q

The Courier Friday TV

December 14

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Planet Earth Live 03:55 Antiques Roadshow 04:55 Paul Martin's Handmade Revolution 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 You've Been Scammed 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 School for Stars 16:35 Dennis and Gnasher 16:45 League of Super Evil 17:00 Scooby-Doo! 17:30 Pet School 17:55 OOglies 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's 12 Tastes of Christmas 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Outnumbered 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 00:50 01:50 02:20 02:50 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

The Boss Is Back Rolling Stones The Culture Show An Island Parish ABC World News BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News Asia Business Report Sport Today

05:00 06:00 07:00 07:30 07:50 08:05 08:15 08:25 08:35 08:45 09:00 09:10 09:15 09:30 09:40 10:00 10:05 10:15 10:20 10:35 10:45 11:05 11:35 11:55 12:10 12:30 13:00 14:00 14:30 15:15 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 Mouth 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30

Materials Schools Tikkabilla Balamory Charlie and Lola Cloudbabies Everything's Rosie Bob the Builder Chuggington Octonauts Tilly and Friends Woolly & Tig Mike the Knight Timmy Time Tweenies Numtums Abadas Alphablocks The Rhyme Rocket The Lingo Show Something Special Show Me Show Me Let's Play I Can Cook on the Go Mister Maker Comes to Town BBC World News Daily Politics Royal Upstairs Downstairs To Buy or Not to Buy Weakest Link Real Rescues Flog It! Breakaway Put Your Money Where Your Is Celebrity Eggheads Strictly Come Dancing Nigella Express Coast Mastermind An Island Parish Westminster Abbey QI Newsnight

01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 You've Been Framed!

21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 A Night of Heroes - The Military Awards 23:30 ITV News and Weather

A NIGHT OF HEROES Phillip Schofield and Amanda Holden present the fifth annual gala event from London's Imperial War Museum, honouring brave and selfless acts by Britain's armed forces. They are joined by a host of stars from the worlds of film, TV, sport and music, including Ricky Gervais, David Jason and James Nesbitt, plus senior members of the royal family. Frank Lampard, Myleene Klass and Jeremy Clarkson are among the judges selecting award-winners in several categories, including Life Saver and Best Soldier.

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats 00:55 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:50 The Aristocrats 02:45 How the Bismarck Sank HMS Hood 03:40 Time Team 04:35 Unreported World 05:00 Dispatches 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Come Dine with Me 13:30 Channel 4 News 13:35 SuperScrimpers 14:05 Channel 4 Racing 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Peter Kay Live at the Top of the Tower 23:20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

01:30 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 HouseBusters 05:40 Great Scientists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Build a New Life in the Country 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Build a New Life in the Country 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 The Good Witch's Gift 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 North Pole Ice Airport 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

39

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Courier Saturday TV

December 15

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 Would I Lie to You? 01:00 EastEnders 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 Fake or Fortune?

04:00 Question Time 05:00 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Baking Made Easy 13:00 BBC News; Regional News 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Bargain Hunt 14:30 Gymnastics 17:00 Final Score 18:25 BBC News; Regional News 18:45 A Question of Sport 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 21:15 Merlin 22:00 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 22:15 Casualty 23:05 BBC News; Weather 23:25 Match of the Day

00:00 The Review Show 00:50 Rolling Stones: Crossfire Hurricane 01:50 Muddy Waters and the Rolling Stones - Live at the Checkerboard Lounge 02:50 Click 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Week in Parliament 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 Close 07:00 Tikkabilla 07:30 Balamory 07:50 Charlie and Lola 08:05 Cloudbabies

08:15 Everything's Rosie 08:25 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 08:35 Chuggington 08:45 Octonauts 09:00 Tilly and Friends 09:10 Woolly & Tig 09:15 Mike the Knight 09:30 Timmy Time 09:40 Tweenies 10:00 Baby Jake 10:10 ZingZillas 10:25 Mr Bloom's Nursery 10:45 Something Special: Out and About 11:05 Let's Play 11:30 Get Well Soon 11:45 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 12:00 Justin's House 12:25 I Can Cook on the Go 12:40 Mister Maker Comes to Town 13:00 Animal Park 14:00 Coast 14:20 Holiday Affair 15:45 The War Lover 17:30 Escape to the Country 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 20:30 Don't Panic! The Dad's Army Story 21:20 Dad's Army 22:20 Clive Dunn: A Tribute 23:00 Jools Holland: My Life in Music

00:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:10 Hard Target 01:50 ITV News Headlines 03:55 Disclosure 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:25 The Hive 07:50 Canimals 08:00 Canimals 08:05 Fleabag Monkeyface 08:20 Fleabag Monkeyface 08:25 Almost Naked Animals 08:50 Horrid Henry 09:30 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:15 Murder, She Wrote 13:20 ITV News and Weather 13:29 Meridian Weather 13:30 Home Sweet Home 15:30 Midsomer Murders 17:25 All Star Family Fortunes 18:15 Meridian News and Weather 18:30 ITV News and Weather 18:45 Back to the Future Part II 20:40 Take Me Out 22:00 10 Years of Girls Aloud 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:34 Meridian Weather 23:35 Michael BublĂŠ: Home for Christmas

00:25 00:55 01:30 02:00 03:45 04:05 04:50 05:30 06:25 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:55 09:55 10:10 10:45 11:15 11:45 12:15 12:40 13:10 13:40 14:10 14:45 16:55 17:25 17:55 18:25 19:00 19:30 19:55 20:25 20:30 21:30 22:00

4Funnies Full English The Ricky Gervais Show British Comedy Awards 2012 My Name Is Earl Glory Daze 90210 Deal or No Deal Countdown The Hoobs The Grid Teenage Superhumans The Morning Line Rockcorps 2012 T4 Movie Special Will & Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Channel 4 Racing The Simpsons Come Dine with Me: Ireland Come Dine with Me: Ireland Come Dine with Me: Ireland Come Dine with Me: Ireland Come Dine with Me: Ireland Channel 4 News 4thought.tv Heston's Fantastical Food Stephen Fry: Gadget Man Eclipse

BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II

Sequel to the time-travelling comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd. Barely back to 1985 after his original jaunt, Marty McFly is whisked forward to 2015, along with his girlfriend Jennifer, by "Doc" Brown. Marty's mission this time is to prevent a crime involving his teenage son before he disgraces the whole of the McFly family.

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:50 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 Great Scientists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Olive the Ostrich 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Animal Antics 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:35 ThunderCats 12:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 12:20 Highland Emergency 12:55 The Gadget Show 13:55 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways 14:55 A Grandpa for Christmas 16:35 Meet the Santas 18:20 5 News Weekend 18:25 Mrs Miracle 20:20 An Old-Fashioned Christmas 22:00 Greatest Christmas TV Moments

The Courier Sunday TV

December 16

00:45 The Football League Show 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 02:30 The Hottest Classroom on Earth 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Five Minutes With 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Hottest Classroom on Earth 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Fern Britton Meets 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:25 Countryfile 14:20 Bargain Hunt 15:05 Escape to the Country 16:05 Call the Midwife 17:05 Lifeline 17:15 Songs of Praise 17:55 Nigel Slater's 12 Tastes of Christmas 18:25 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:50 Countryfile 19:50 Strictly Come Dancing 20:30 Sports Personality of the Year 2012 23:05 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 2

00:00 Later with Jools Holland and Friends

01:00 02:30 04:10 07:00 07:30 07:50 08:05 08:15 08:25 08:35 08:45 09:00 09:10 09:15 09:30 09:40 10:00 10:10 10:25 10:45 11:00 13:55 15:45 17:30 18:00 19:00 20:00 21:00 21:30 23:15

Savage Grace Priceless Close 00:50 Captivity Tikkabilla 02:15 ITV News Headlines Balamory 02:15 The Store 04:00 In Plain Sight Charlie and Lola 04:40 ITV Nightscreen Cloudbabies 06:30 ITV Morning News Everything's Rosie 07:00 Engie Benjy Bob the Builder: Project Build It 07:10 Babar and the Adventures of Badou Chuggington 07:35 Signed Stories Octonauts 07:45 Monk Tilly and Friends 07:50 Canimals Woolly & Tig 08:05 Fleabag Monkeyface 08:30 Almost Naked Animals Mike the Knight 09:00 Big Time Rush Timmy Time 09:30 Fort Boyard Ultimate Tweenies Challenge Baby Jake 10:25 ITV News 10:30 There's No Taste Like Home ZingZillas 11:30 Dinner Date Mr Bloom's Nursery 12:30 Dickinson's Real Deal Something Special 13:30 ITV News and Weather Match of the Day Live 13:34 Meridian Weather 13:35 Carry On - Don't Lose Your Follow the Fleet Head Shall We Dance 15:20 The X Factor Nigella's Christmas Kitchen 17:20 Meridian News and Weather Flog It! 17:40 ITV News and Weather 17:50 ET the Extra-Terrestrial This World 20:00 Happy Birthday E.T This World 21:00 The Making of a Lady Fawlty Towers 22:45 ITV News and Weather Calendar Girls 22:59 Meridian Weather 23:00 I Am Legend QI XL

CALENDAR GIRLS Comedy drama based on a true story, starring Helen Mirren and Julie Walters. Chris and Annie are best friends and members of the local Women's Institute in Knapely, Yorkshire. When Annie's husband dies from leukaemia, Chris suggests they and their fellow WI colleagues raise money for the local hospital by posing nude for a calendar. The media interest that follows leads to the project becoming a worldwide sensation.

00:30 02:30 04:10 06:20 07:05 07:10 07:35 08:00 08:30 09:00 09:25 09:55 10:30 12:50 13:20 13:45 14:15 14:45 15:45 17:40 19:20 19:50 19:55 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:35

Remember Me The Escapist Hollyoaks Countdown Sali Mali The Hoobs The Hoobs The Grid Survival of the Fittest Will & Grace Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Deal or No Deal Hocus Pocus Deck the Halls Channel 4 News The Political Slot 4thought.tv Come Dine with Me River Cottage Homeland Peep Show I Love You Phillip Morris

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Artists 05:50 Rough Guide to Beaches 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Olive the Ostrich 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Animal Antics 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:35 ThunderCats 12:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 12:15 Highland Emergency 12:45 Mr St Nick 14:30 Battle of the Bulbs 16:15 All I Want for Christmas 18:00 The Da Vinci Code 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 Click 23:00 Zack and Miri Make a Porno

40

The Courier Monday TV

December 17

00:30 The Graham Norton Show 01:15 Three Fugitives 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 03:25 Holby City 04:25 Great British Food Revival 05:25 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 You've Been Scammed 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 ChuckleVision 17:00 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 17:30 12 Again 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 My Family 22:00 Panorama 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:00 00:30 01:55 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:25 06:25 07:00

Never Mind the Buzzcocks Surviving Christmas Body Heat Sport Today BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC News The Super League Show Close Tikkabilla

07:30 Balamory 07:50 Charlie and Lola 08:05 Cloudbabies 08:15 Everything's Rosie 08:25 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 08:35 Chuggington 08:45 Octonauts 09:00 Tilly and Friends 09:10 Woolly & Tig 09:15 Mike the Knight 09:30 Timmy Time 09:40 Tweenies 10:00 Numtums 10:05 Abadas 10:15 Alphablocks 10:20 The Rhyme Rocket 10:35 The Lingo Show 10:45 Something Special: Out and About 11:05 Show Me Show Me 11:35 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:55 I Can Cook on the Go 12:10 Mister Maker Comes to Town 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 20:30 University Challenge 21:00 Nigellissima 22:00 Inside Claridge's 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

00:50 Pensioners Behind Bars 01:40 ITV News Headlines 03:40 Motorsport UK 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little England 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Poison Tree 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

01:25 8 Out of 10 Cats 01:55 American Football Live 05:45 Grudge Match 05:55 Deal or No Deal 06:50 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Kirstie's Homemade Christmas 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 13:20 Great Expectations 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Stephen Fry: Gadget Man 22:00 Bad Santas 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Full English

BAD SANTAS First of a two-part documentary following a group of unemployed men in training at the UK's most successful Santa school. All in their fifties, the aspiring Father Christmases must pass a number of challenges, from learning how to wear the famous costume with confidence and perfect the art of a jolly ho-ho-ho, to dealing with those tricky questions from children desperate for the latest toys and gadgets.

00:55 World's Craziest Police Pursuits 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 Rough Guide To 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 Angelina Ballerina 10:30 Hana's Helpline 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:55 Mexican Food Made Simple 11:25 Emergency Bikers 12:25 Build a New Life in the Country 13:20 5 News Lunchtime 13:25 Build a New Life in the Country 14:30 The Christmas Card 16:10 Crazy for Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Emergency Bikers 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 North Pole Ice Airport 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Deep Blue Sea

The Courier Tuesday TV

December 18

00:20 The Matador 01:50 Weatherview 01:55 Richard Hammond's Miracles of Nature 02:55 Dara O Briain's Science Club 03:55 Great British Food Revival 04:55 MasterChef: The Professionals 05:25 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 You've Been Scammed 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:30 Bear Behaving Badly 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 17:30 Rocket's Island 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Last Tango in Halifax 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Imagine

00:20 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

Westminster Abbey BBC News HARDtalk Newsday ABC World News BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools

06:55 Primary Maths Promo 07:00 Tikkabilla 07:30 Balamory 07:50 Charlie and Lola 08:05 Cloudbabies 08:15 Everything's Rosie 08:25 Bob the Builder 08:35 Chuggington 08:45 Octonauts 09:00 Tilly and Friends 09:10 Woolly & Tig 09:15 Mike the Knight 09:30 Timmy Time 09:40 Tweenies 10:00 Numtums 10:05 Abadas 10:15 Alphablocks 10:20 The Rhyme Rocket 10:35 The Lingo Show 10:45 Something Special 11:05 Show Me Show Me 11:35 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:55 I Can Cook on the Go 12:10 Mister Maker Comes to Town 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Wanted Down Under Revisited 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 20:30 University Challenge 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 Wartime Farm 23:00 Rev 23:30 Newsnight

01:40 ITV News Headlines 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Pushing Daisies 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Unforgettable 21:00 Inside Guinness World Records 22:00 Ruth Rendell's Thirteen Steps Down 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Ruth Rendell's Thirteen Steps Down

INSIDE GUINNES WORLD RECORDS Concluding the documentary meeting a wide range of record holders, including Wilma Conner, the oldest competitive female bodybuilder, Pauline Potter, the world's heaviest woman, Tom Lackey, an aerobatic wing walker, and Zeus, the tallest dog that ever lived.

Also featuring is a man whose achievements have kept him out of prison, and someone who claims that winning records has brought him closer to God.

00:15 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:20 The Good Wife 02:05 The Good Wife 02:45 St Elsewhere 03:30 The Spy in Black 04:55 Supernanny US 05:35 Supernanny US 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Kirstie's Homemade Christmas 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 13:25 Oliver Twist 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Back to the Clinic 22:00 Bad Santas 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

00:15 Nature Shock: When Killer Whales Attack 01:10 Cowboy Builders 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:25 Angelina Ballerina 10:30 Hana's Helpline 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:55 Mexican Food Made Simple 11:25 Emergency Bikers 12:25 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 13:20 5 News Lunchtime 13:25 Build a New Life in the Country 14:30 Hitched for the Holidays 16:10 Mrs Santa Claus 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Emergency Bikers 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Highland Emergency 20:30 Highland Emergency 21:00 Murder Files 22:00 Body of Proof 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 CSI: NY

41

The Courier Wednesday TV

December 19

00:35 The Unbearable Lightness of Being 03:20 Weatherview 03:25 Supersized Earth 05:25 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 You've Been Scammed 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 What's New Scooby-Doo? 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 17:30 Rocket's Island 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Snow Babies 22:00 Last Tango in Halifax 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman

00:20 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 07:00 07:30

Inside Claridge's BBC News HARDtalk Newsday ABC World News BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools Tikkabilla Balamory

07:50 Charlie and Lola 08:05 Cloudbabies 08:15 Everything's Rosie 08:25 Bob the Builder 08:35 Chuggington 08:45 Octonauts 09:00 Tilly and Friends 09:10 Woolly & Tig 09:15 Mike the Knight 09:30 Timmy Time 09:40 Tweenies 10:00 Numtums 10:05 Abadas 10:15 Alphablocks 10:20 The Rhyme Rocket 10:35 The Lingo Show 10:45 Something Special: Out and About 11:05 Show Me Show Me 11:35 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:55 I Can Cook on the Go 12:10 Mister Maker Comes to Town 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Lifeline 14:40 Coast 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Wanted Down Under Revisited 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 20:30 University Challenge 21:00 All About The Good Life 22:00 The Christmas No 1 Story 23:00 Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Grimefighters 01:05 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Pushing Daisies 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Weight Loss Ward 22:00 The Town 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Miami Vice

00:05 Homeland 01:10 European Poker Tour 02:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:35 Sailing 03:00 Beach Volleyball 03:55 Best of British 04:50 Freesports on 4 05:20 Survival of the Fittest 05:45 The Grid 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Kirstie's Homemade Christmas 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 The Robe 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Kirstie's Vintage Home 22:00 Heston's Fantastical Food 23:00 The Twins Who Share a Body 23:50 8 Out of 10 Cats

THE CHRISTMAS NO1 STORY

Documentary exploring 60 years of British Christmases by way of the songs the public put at the top of the most important chart of the year. The programme looks back through the decades at the personalities and circumstances that gave rise to the festive number ones. With contributions by some of the artists involved, including Rolf Harris, Noddy Holder, Roy Wood, Boney M, Johnny Mathis, Midge Ure, Shakin' Stevens, Cliff Richard, Jason Donovan, East 17 and Alexandra Burke.

00:55 Slaves in the Cellar 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 Angelina Ballerina 10:30 Hana's Helpline 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:55 Mexican Food Made Simple 11:25 Emergency Bikers 12:25 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 13:20 5 News Lunchtime 13:25 Build a New Life in the Country 14:30 Battle of the Bulbs 16:15 The Santa Suit 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Emergency Bikers 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 World's Strongest Man 21:00 Building the Panama Canal 22:00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways 23:00 Blade II

The Courier Thursday TV

December 20

00:15 National Lottery Update 00:45 Texas Rangers 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 See Hear 02:40 Supersized Earth 03:40 Inside Claridge's 04:40 MasterChef 05:40 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 You've Been Scammed 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Show Me What You're Made Of 16:35 The Slammer 17:00 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 17:30 Rocket's Island 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Young Apprentice 22:00 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Lapland

00:20 Stuffed: The Great British Christmas Dinner 01:20 The Culture Show 02:20 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Orbit: Earth's Extraordinary

Journey 06:00 Schools 07:00 Tikkabilla 07:30 Balamory 07:50 Charlie and Lola 08:05 Cloudbabies 08:15 Everything's Rosie 08:25 Bob the Builder 08:35 Chuggington 08:45 Octonauts 09:00 Tilly and Friends 09:10 Woolly & Tig 09:15 Mike the Knight 09:30 Timmy Time 09:40 Tweenies 10:00 Numtums 10:05 Abadas 10:15 Alphablocks 10:20 The Rhyme Rocket 10:35 The Lingo Show 10:45 Something Special 11:05 Show Me Show Me 11:35 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:55 I Can Cook on the Go 12:10 Mister Maker Comes to Town 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 20:30 University Challenge 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 Last Chance Harvey 23:30 Newsnight

01:55 ITV News Headlines 03:20 Scarface 06:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Storage Hoarders 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Waterworld

LAST CHANCE HARVEY Romantic comedy starring Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. American jingle writer Harvey Shine is in London for his daughter Susan's wedding. But his job and divorce from remarried ex-wife Jean have left him estranged from Susan, so when he discovers that Jean's husband is to give Susan away, there seems little point in sticking around. However, an encounter with Kate Walker leads to 24 hours that the couple will never forget.

00:40 Rude Tube 01:40 Abbey Road Studios: In Session 02:05 Mumford & Sons: Gentlemen of the Road 02:20 Little Noise Sessions 02:45 Spotlight 03:00 Made in Chelsea 04:50 Deal or No Deal 05:45 Countdown 06:30 Make Do & Mend 06:55 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 07:00 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Jamie's Christmas with Bells On 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 13:15 Swiss Family Robinson 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:30 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 Jamie & Jimmy's Food Fight Club 23:00 Adam Hills Stands Up Live

01:20 True Horror: Dracula 02:15 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 Angelina Ballerina 10:35 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:55 Mexican Food Made Simple 11:25 Emergency Bikers 12:25 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 13:20 5 News Lunchtime 13:25 Build a New Life in the Country 14:30 Mrs Miracle 16:15 All I Want for Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Emergency Bikers 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways 21:00 World's Strongest Man 22:00 Cowboy Builders 23:00 Lord of War

42

Friday, December 14, 2012

ACCOUNTANTS Are you running a business?

Let us simplify things for you – bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We also cater for individual’s personal taxes – residents and non residents. Est.in 1984. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

AUCTIONS

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CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact Pilar

ChristianCommunity Church@gmail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966 7693 00 or 650 509 606.

Reg No:2009-SG/A

CARS FOR SALE Call Professional Business Support now for your quick quote for car insurance.

Excellent prices for expats, all policies available in English or German. We will call you back with a price.

966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

MEDICAL Having

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

obtaining or using you SIP card? CASER Healthcare offers you a quick and affordable solution, using the best private hospitals in the area. All policies available in English. Call us now on 966 923 963, and we will call you back with your quote.

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 300 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 636615716. (98) Ref. RS69 – Spacious towncentre apartment only a two minute walk from the beach and well known Marina

BUILDER

AUTO ELECTRICIAN

International in Torrevieja centre. 2 large bedrooms, 1 full bathroom, fully furnished, 350 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. KBJ3 – Luxury duplex penthouse apartment located near the marina in Guardamar. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, amazing panoramic views, inc.parking and storage. 600 € pcm.

966 923 963 Ref. CBR21 – A rare chance to rent a frontline beach apartment in Torrevieja!

Ground floor with large terrace, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, direct and full-on sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR20 – Spanish style 4th floor apartment right on the beach! 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lovely balcony to soak up the amazing sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR19 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment in

sought after area beachside Punta Prima, with communal pool and fully furnished, only 400 € pcm. 966 923 963 CBR22 : Modern 2 bed apartment only 500m from Los Locos Beach. Fully furnished, inc.storage room, 350€ pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR3 – 2 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse located in Algorfa, communal pool, fully furnished, 300 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. RS20 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment within private enclosed residential in San Luis, large terrace, 350 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 CBR23 : Stylish new house in Los Montesinos, 3 bed 2 bath with large 65m2 garage, front and back terraces. 500 € pcm. 966 923 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata.

Close to all amenities and beach.

3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

COMPUTERS

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AIRPORT COLLECTION

BARBER ALARMS

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CLEANERS

43

Friday, December 14, 2012

Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Short term rental €800PCM. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The

Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Comprehensive cover for house and contents with CASER Seguros - excellent prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote.

Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant.

Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

COINS

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

DAMP PROOFING

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium.

Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant.

Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is

much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc.

The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof-

top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course.

Comprising of fitted wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242

INTERIOR DESIGN

DRAINAGE ELECTRICIAN

ELECTRICIAN

HOUSE CLEARANCE

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Ref: 510, €70,000.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked.

Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling

fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park.

Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property

LOCKSMITH

NEWS AGENTS

comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale.

Briefly comprising of: 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, corner property in Don Pueblo with no expense spared, comprising of 3 double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 decoratively tiled bathrooms, very large independent kitchen with galleria. Included in the price are all kitchen appliances such as large fridge freezer, washing machine, dishwasher, microwave to name just a few. There is a huge lounge complete with chimney, plus large fully transformed under build,and small workshop. Front and rear private garden area, secure underground garage, tennis courts, football pitch and communal pools. Ref. K14 €209,00 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli-

KENNELS

ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low maintenance very private gardens with irrigation system, electronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section.

Within easy walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and close to local bus and tram route.

Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Rare investment!! corner south facing opportunity on Novamar urbanisation.This immaculate ground floor duplex has been kept and maintained to a very high standard inside and out the position is fantastic, enjoys views over the lovely oasis communal pool, surrounded by lawned gardens. Comprising of plot size 100m2 Build Size 90m2, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, AntiGlare Windows, Security Door, Security Grills, Built-in Wardrobes, Extra Storage, Galleria, Electric Panel Heaters, Heated Towel Rails, Air Con (h&c), Ceiling.

PERSONAL TRAINER

Fans. Thermo Shower, Vanity Units and decoratively tiled throughout, exquisite garden, Underground private parking.

Ref.K10 €139,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gardens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south-facing, very private villa, with woodland and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul-de-sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and storage in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant detached villa with converted under build

and pool. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge- Diner, Front Porch, Large Solarium, decoratively tiled, Irrigated Garden.

BBQ and Log Storage Cupboard. Raised walls for Privacy. Also many extras, toldos blinds, freshly decorated interior, Grills, Mosquito Nets, Air Con H/C, Ceiling Fans, Log Burner Fire, Electric Radiators, Heated Towel Rails, Alarmed, Phone Line, Satellite UK TV, private parking. Plot size 310m2 under build 100m2. price includes all furniture.The under build consists of 2 beds, lounge, kit/utility room. ref L79. €250,000 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant immaculate outstanding south facing villa in sought after road. Set on a 350m2 plot with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths,large porch, solarium and terraces. The large under build includes a lounge, kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom and patio doors leading to pool area. Internal & external access for under build. Extras include electric radiators, air con H/C, ceiling fans, gas fire, heated towel rails, extended walk-in shower, fitted wardrobes.

Decorative tiling inside and

KITCHENS

PLASTERER

PETS

PLUMBERS

MASSAGE

POOL TABLES

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Friday, December 14, 2012 out.

Panoramic views towards Alicante Bay, Sky TV, phone line and Internet & Private parking, established gardens, water features and fruit trees. Being sold with exquisite furniture and all white goods.

Immaculate finishes and decor. ref L84. €278,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref

K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever constructed- Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 ensuit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge-diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation system and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this

REMOVALS

2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge-diner, independent kitchen, full roof-top solarium with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant beautiful detached villa with very large pool and within walking distance to the Gran Alacant Commercial Centre.

This villa comprised of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, lounge-diner, Independent kitchen, roof top storage, solarium, porch & terrace.

Large private pool, BBQ area, established gardens and private terraces, Private Parking, Solarium with Views to Alicante. 450m2 plot, fully furnished including white goods. Located in very quiet desirable road. ref.L96. €255,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Limited edition bungalow. Only six of this type available in Gran Alacant. Constructed in 2003 and immaculately maintained on a large plot size of 500m2 with a 10 x 5 pool.Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge-diner leading out onto front porch, independent kitchen including white goods, outside galleria, court yard, large garage with electric door, roof top solarium and private parking. Also built in wardrobes, Toldos blinds, air con H/C, security

grills, alarm, security doors, bathrooms heaters, outside toilet, outdoor lighting, irrigation system, attractive and well kept gardens, beautifully tiled inside and out, fire place, English TV, phone line. Being sold with top quality furniture. ref L95. €275,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking

STORAGE

SKY TV INSTALLATION

distance to all local amenities such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach.

Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof-top solarium. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large decorative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure

underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:- 664 838 581

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today.

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

ROLLER BLINDS

RECYCLING CLOTHES

46

Friday, December 14, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

TRADITION’S TOP 10 THE centuries-old history of golf makes it a very distinctive sport. While the game has evolved, some of its great traditions have lasted throughout time and continue today.

Some of them may seem silly, but they all have a special meaning in the game.

My guess is that even your golf club back in the UK has some quirky traditions like the Tantalus behind the bar for the Hole in One or taking your second shot with your trousers down if your tee shot did not make the ladies tee.

Here's a list of what I believe to be 10 very cool

traditions in the game of golf. My favourite is No 8.

2: Masters Dinner

1: Grey Blazer at the Memorial Tournament

Each year on Tuesday of Masters week, the previous year’s winner hosts a dinner open only to past winners of the Masters. The host also chooses the menu for the dinner and with such an international list of winners, some of the greatest players in the game have got to sample a wide variety of food. Nick Faldo in 1997 had Fish and Chips while Sandy Lyle 1989 it was Haggis.

On the very short list of the best houses (courses) that Jack built, Muirfield Village Golf Club in Ohio is a spectacular venue - the home of the Memorial Tournament, held in June.

All tournament committee members wear grey blazers, but none stands out more than Jack Nicklaus as he makes his way around the grounds.

CARRY YOUR BAG, SIR? Caddies were at one time an integral part of the game.

3: Caddies

At one time, caddies were a very integral part of the game. At the country-club level, youngsters interested in doing the job lessened, and clubs had no choice but to turn to golf carts. Then, of course, that decision started to provide something of a revenue earner, and the use of carts increased. There are still many higher-echelon clubs, like St Andrews, that have caddie facilities and if you’ve not played a round with a caddie, you’re really missing out.

4: Green Jacket

If it’s not the most recognisable piece of clothing in

IVOR ROBSON... the voice of the Open

5: Claret Jug

Officially called the Golf Champion Trophy, it’s been awarded to the winner of the Open Championship since 1872.The current jug was first given to Walter Hagan after he won the 1928.Each winner gets to keep the jug until the start of the next year's tournament. He returns the original and is then given a replica to keep.

6: Ryder Cup

No other competition in golf stirs the passion and excitement of players and fans like this biennial team competition does. The United States dominated the early competition against Great Britain & Ireland, but once the setup was

changed to include the rest of Europe, it became a reallive heartfelt battle. It sometimes goes a bit over the top, but it is something the players and fans from both sides eagerly look forward to.

7: Ivor Robson’s Distinctive Voice as Starter

He’s as much a part of the Open Championship as the heather and gorse, strong winds and quirky links course. Ivor Robson has been the voice of the Open since 1975, and he announces every player who steps onto the first tee each year.

8: Removing Hats and Shaking Hands

TITTER ON THE TEE THIS guy checks the into a hotel on a golfing trip and thinks it would be a good idea to get one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a taxi.

He grabs a card on the way in advertising a girl calling herself Erotonique. She’s a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She has all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy blonde hair, and long graceful legs. You know the kind!

So he’s in his room and thinks, what the hell, I'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. He thinks, Goodness, she sounds sexy!

"Hello, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring everything you've got in your bag of tricks, Cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby.

Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

golf, it’s close to it. The green jacket has been awarded to winners of the US Masters tournament since 1937, when, members of the club wore green jackets during the tournament.

The single-breasted jacket is “Masters Green” and has the club logo on the left chest pocket and brass buttons. It’s really not that impressive in stature, but it is perhaps the most-revered trophy in golf.

The Masters jacket

Golf has long been referred to as a gentleman’s game, and a very simple gesture at the end of the round shows that. The simple act of taking off your hat or visor and shaking your playing partner’s hand is the way it’s always been done and the way it always should be. It's a sign of respect and friendship for the other player, even in defeat.

9: The Old Course at St. Andrews

The birthplace of golf isn’t

much to look at aesthetically, but the Old Course should be on every golfer’s bucket list. The unpredictable bounces, odd angles and outrageous undulations on both greens and fairways make it the golfing experience of a lifetime. What other course has things like the Swilcan Bridge, Valley of Sin, Road Hole? How about seven greens that are shared by two holes each? Hitting the tee shot blindly over the corner of the Old Course Hotel in an attempt to find the fairway on the17th? It’s one of a kind.

10: Honorary Starters at the Masters In a tradition that has been in existence since 1963 at Augusta National Golf Club, big crowds gather early on Thursday morning to watch Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player do the honours. Even though the official field doesn't start competing until an hour later, the Big Three doing the honours signals that the Masters is under way.

Do you know any odd traditions? If your club has any, let me know and we will publish them.

KNOW YOUR RULES Question: I hit my ball down the middle of the fairway and I am sure it was a good shot but cannot find my ball. Am I allowed to drop the ball without penalty where I think it came to rest?

A. No. If the ball cannot be found, the player must proceed under Rule 27-1, incurring the stroke-and-distance penalty.

B. Yes. But with one stroke penalty.

C. Yes. Drop a ball where you think it came to rest without penalty.

Answer: A. Under the penalty of one stroke the player must play the ball as near as possible to the spot from which the original ball was last played. Rule 27-1.

47

Friday, December 14, 2012

GROPE OF DEATH

Double flop the end for Mancini

BY Roman Abramovich’s strange, stupid standards, Roberto Mancini’s time should be up at Manchester City. The euphoria of that dramatic injury-time winning of the Premier League last season is now long gone.

These highly-competitive win-at-all-costs days you only have to lose a few games and you can hear the knives sharpening, as poor old Roberto di Matteo found out at Chelsea.

Sunday’s home defeat by nasty neighbours and tabletoppers Manchester United will have hit and hurt City, and Mancini in particular, very hard. It was their first league defeat this sensational season. United’s win avenged the 6 - 1 drubbing the Reds received last season which sent the Blues into orbit, as for once - at long, long last - they won the second City’s bragging rights, which had so long eluded them in Mancunia.

But gradually, defensive cracks in the City wall have

appeared and been eroded by the dismal performances in Europe, where unfortunately they were thrown into the ‘Group of Death’ to compete with Real

Madrid, Borussia Dortmund and Ajax.

And the Blues were found sadly wanting.

To the rest of Europe, City hardly looked like the English champions; instead, Mancini’s men finished patheti-

cally at the bottom of the group, not even making the also-rans bore of the nowthreatened Europa League.

City have nothing much to look forward to now, apart from a winter of discontent where, unless they keep winning (and United manage to blow it again), there is nothing but trouble ahead.

Perambulating in the Premier League pool there are more predatory piranhas - like Chelsea, Everton, West Brom and Swansea not to mention Spurs, Arsenal and… well, you know the rest.

Last Sunday you couldn’t make it up. It just had to be Robin van Persie who finally rubbed Mancini’s nose in it by scoring the late, late winner - City’s almost-patented party-trick. It was Mancini’s failure to attract the Dutchman to the Etihad that resulted in City’s purchase of the hugely-temperamental mercenary Mario Balotelli. The Italian striker was observed by one TV pundit as obviously on the

field purely for himself, not for the team, the supporters or the club. Or for Mancini, judging by the look mental Mario gave his long-suffering boss as he was hauled off yet again, straight down the tunnel, ignoring his teammates on the bench.

Balotelli’s replacement, the prodigal Carlos Tevez is revered by the long-suffering supporters, and always gives 110 per cent. As soon as he came on, United’s control of the game began to slip with City storming forward yet again, coming back from two down to be drawing the match and potentially looking to snatch the winner once again.

But the last laugh was left to the new scorer of crucial goals – he’s done it six times this season already. In time added on, right on cue, right out of the City training man-

ual, Van Persie blasted in the free kick as the City wall finally crumbled and fell and the royalties went to Rockin’ Robin and the Reds as they now rule the roost.

I think Mancini’s time is up at Manchester City. Winning the Premiership was a double-edged sword, where going on to better things is the only real option –.and City haven’t. The vultures high in the sky have begun to circle lower. You can just make two of them out: one is a brilliant ex-Barcelona Spaniard currently on a sabbatical in New York and the other a well-travelled Portuguese with a first-class pedigree, currently working at the Spanish sharp end.

And there may be others…

It’s déjà vu for Mancini Inter Milan all over again.

Arrivederci, Roberto?

Every Day’s a Football Day More late agony for sad Saints December Sporting de San Fulgencio 0 F.B Redovan 1

THE Saints were undone by yet another late goal – and this time they didn’t even have a point to show for their efforts, writes JORDAN LUCAS. The winner arrived with just five minutes remaining after a spell of constant Redovan pressure.

The visitors had already smashed the top of the crossbar

from a set piece from a difficult angle. And they got the goal they deserved when Saints failed to clear and the ball fell to a midfielder, who evaded a challenge before placing it beyond the reach of Manuel Llopis.

Saints went for it and might have equalised but for a great block to deny Carl Kirby right at the death.

BLEEPERS KEEPERS! THIS was an actionpacked encounter between two sides chasing the top two places and automatic promotion.

A crowd of well over 200 saw Montesinos take control almost from the start and it was no real surprise when top scorer Edu made the all important breakthrough before halftime, finishing off an

CD Montesinos 2 Orihuela Costa 0 excellent move. The same player had, just minutes earlier, hit the crossbar although the rebound was cleared.

There was a moment of madness at the half time whistle when the visiting goalkeeper took exception to a spectator's comments and jumped into the crowd

to confront him. The referee, who said he did not see the incident, refused to start the second half until police arrived, leading to a 10-minute delay in proceedings.

The second 45 minutes was a similar story to the first, although Monte adopted a counter attack-

ing system which paid off near the end with M & A scoring a superb individual effort to seal the three points.

Next week (December 16), CD Montesinos visit near neighbours Racing San Miguel. Kick-off time has yet to be confirmed keep checking our website (www.cdmontesinos.com)

ORIHUELA ON THE UP

AFTER some mixed fortunes this season, things seem to be coming together for ITV Orihuela’s rugby hopefuls - and they are getting the positive results they deserve.

Tomorrow (Saturday) at 17.00, Orihuela are at home

against Cartagena, looking to build on the brilliant result over Albacete.

More information on the game, plus this weekend’s live TV rugby schedule at the Steakhouse rugby bar in Rojales, from Garry on 692 767 242.

16th 1983 The BBC broadcast the first ever Match of the Day live. The Friday night game between Manchester United and Spurs sees United win 4-2 to go top of the league.

17th 1927 Jimmy Cookson, the Chesterfield and West Bromwich Albion centre forward, scores his 100th goal in only his 87th game.

18th 1954 Chelsea’s second goal in the 3-1 home win against Leicester is uniquely recorded as a shared own goal by Leicester defenders Stanley Milburn and Jack Frogatt who had both lunged for the ball.

19th 1990 Tony Adams is jailed for four months for drink driving. Adams rammed a lamppost and then hit a wall on the way home from a party.

20th 1988 Sports Minister Colin Moynihan shows his complete understanding of the problems surrounding football by publishing a hooligans’ arrest league.

Surprisingly the team with the worst record is Scarborough as it is based on the proportion of arrests to average attendance.

21st 1957 With 28 minutes to go, Charlton find themselves 5-1 down versus Huddersfield in their Division Two game, having been reduced to 10 men from the 15th minute due to injury. They end up winning 7-6 with left winger Johnny Summers scoring five goals. Huddersfield remain the only team to have scored six goals in a league game and still lose.

22nd 1996 Peter Shilton makes his 1,000th league appearance in goal for Leyton Orient in the 2-0 win over Brighton.

Compiled by STUART EVANS

48

Friday, December 14, 2012

THE JOY OF SIX

Half a dozen reasons why United won’t be stopped ALL TOGETHER NOW....

It’s United we stand Man City we fall, And with Chelsea doing nothing at all…

It’s United United six points clear….

Apologies to Brotherhood of Man, but the message is clear – by half a dozen points! If Manchester United blow it, and lose their hardwon six-point gap at the top of the Premier League, then they don’t deserve the title of Champions.

And let’s face it, who’s going to take it from them on current form? Last Sunday the Reds beat their nearest rivals and reigning Premier League champions Manchester City 3-2, and six exciting weeks ago they beat European champions Chelsea by the same score - also away. Now that’s the mark of champions!

Who will stop Alex’s Army? Surely only themselves…

Goal celebrations? Super Sunday also saw Everton dramatically score two in injury time to win after Clint Dempsey had put Baleless Spurs ahead. Stephen Pienaar equalised against his old club on 90 minutes, and Nikica Jelavic went berserk seconds later after scoring the winner. The euphoric Croatian (pictured

John McGregor reports

above right) deliriously hugged and kissed his teammates, stewards, fans, trainers, coaches, a delighted David Moyes and everyone on the subs bench - covering 300 yards in 30 seconds as the Toffees leapfrogged Spurs into fourth.

At least – and at last – third-placed Chelsea stormed back to winning ways 3 – 1 against suffering Sunderland, but fortunately by Tuesday a lucky Black Cat or three had crossed Martin O’ Neill’s path as luckless Reading were routed 3 -0 at the Stadium of Light. Will your luck hold, Martin? It’s only leaders United at Old Trafford on Saturday!

Talking of Toonside, he-who-could-do-no-wrong Alan Pardew has suddenly become Nervy of Newcastle, his lads losing 2 -1 to Fulham on Monday and who lately can’t win a game. The Geordies are sliding down the table, currently 14th but only two points clear of third-from-bottom Wigan. Oh, and playing Man City on Saturday. Still, they lost on Sunday…easy!

Bottom three? Harry’s QPR must have thought they’d won one at last as they came from behind to lead 2 – 1 at Wigan in the second half. But the euphoria lasted just three minutes as James McCarthy got his second goal to end it even at 2 – 2. All ‘arry wants for Christmas is a win, Santa, please – might Saturday’s West London derby with Fulham be gift-

wrapped? The other dreaded drop dwellers are Reading. They’re paid-up members of the nice-guys club with Southampton, but when they met at the weekend it was the Saints who succeeded 1 – 0. The poor Royals are resisting relegation regally, but still went down again on Monday against Sunderland.

Anyone watching ‘Last Tango in Halifax’ on TV? Well, on Tuesday it was nearly ‘Last Tango in Bradford’ as their football team humiliatingly knocked Arsenal out of the thrilling-not Capital One Cup. It went to penalties after extra time, Arsenal only equalising at the end of normal time. Any answers, Arsene? The trip to Swansea (who beat ‘em at the Emirates last week) in the FA Cup third round looks like drinking in the Last Chance Saloon for the gloomy Gunners…

Cardiff are pulling away at the top of the Championship, three points above Crystal Palace in second, and six above Middlesbrough and Hull. After three successive play-off disappointments, could this the Red/Bluebirds’ year at last?

The big three of La Liga all won at the weekend, which means Barcelona lead Atletico by six points , and Real Madrid by 11 – uncatchable?

Local heroes Elche drew at the top of La Liga 2A, but went five points clear as second-placed Almeria lost. But guess who’s coming Sunday lunchtime?